#if we actually do get the clear i will be SO happy ;; my first ultimate cleared T_T i will be a legend now aaa

[honestlydarkprincess]

settle

buck & chimney || rated: g || wc: 702 || read on ao3

A week after he’d been there to tell Maddie, Buck found himself once again at the Buckley-Han residence. Although he knew that she wouldn’t, a part of him hoped that Maddie would have told Chimney so he didn’t have to. But alas, here he was. Buck had already come out to three people so he was feeling a lot more sure of himself. He had however taken the bisexual pride pin Hen had given him and put it in his pocket for good luck. He felt around for it and turned it over with his fingers while he waited for Maddie or Chimney to answer the door.

Chimney swung the door open, a wide smile on his face. “Buckaroo! Just in time, you can settle this argument for me.”

“Oh, um, if you’re having an argument I’ll come back later,” Buck said, putting his hands up. “I don’t want to get in the middle of anything.”

“Not a real argument,” Maddie called from inside the house. “Chim’s just being ridiculous.”

Chimney scoffed, stuffing a gummy worm into his mouth and making Buck realize that he had a handful of them. “Come on in, Buck, we were just having a little movie night until your sister started spouting nonsense.”

Buck stepped into the house, his shoulders relaxing at the sound of Maddie’s laughter. It never failed to soothe him, knowing his big sister was there and that she was happy. “Where’s Jee?”

“She’s with Mrs. Lee for the night, she wanted some grandma time,” Maddie replied, patting the seat next to her on the couch. “Come sit. What’s up?”

Buck took a seat next to her and Chimney sat down on the armchair, munching on his gummy worms. “I, uh, came to talk to Chim,” Buck said, giving Maddie a meaningful look. Understanding dawned on her and she glanced at Chim who was looking at Buck with open curiosity.

“What’s up, Buck?” Chimney asked. “Why do you look so nervous?”

“Uh, well, you see— wait, you said you were having an argument?” Buck stalled.

“Yeah!” Chimney exclaimed, letting himself get distracted. “Maddie said that Henry Cavill isn’t attractive! I said that everyone thinks he’s attractive. You’re the deciding vote.”

Buck snorted. “Of course he’s attractive, I don’t have to be bi to know that.” He flushed when he realized what he’d said. “Uh, I mean— well actually, that’s kind of what I came to tell you, Chim.”

Chimney’s brows drew together. “That you find Henry Cavill attractive? Not that I’m not happy to see you man, but that could have been a text.”

“N-no,” Buck shook his head, biting his lip. “That I’m— I’m bi.”

“Oh,” Chimney looked surprised.

“When you said I made you my basketball beard, you weren’t exactly wrong,” Buck rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I, uh, yeah.”

Chimney grinned. “I knew I was a beard,” He crowed. “It’s not the first time I’ve been one, you get a sense about these things. Anyway, good for you, Buckaroo. Who’s the lucky man?”

“Uh, well, Tommy actually,” Buck flushed a brighter pink, a small smile playing on his lips. “He kissed me and we went out on a date. We’re, uh, taking things slow.”

“Oh, I’m surprised it’s not Ed—” Chimney was cut off from saying anything else when Maddie cleared her throat loudly. He looked at her and she shook her head slightly. Chimney pasted a bright smile on his face. “I’m happy for you, Buck. Congratulations.”

Buck gave them a confused look, but ultimately decided not to question it. He wasn’t sure he was ready to hear the answer. “Thank you,” He said, ducking his head. “I should get going. I’ll leave you two to your movie night.”

The three of them stood up and Maddie gave him a huge hug before passing him off to Chimney who hugged him just as tightly. “I’m proud of you, brother. Thank you for telling me,” Chimney said softly.

Buck’s breathing hitched and he squeezed Chim back. They pulled apart and Buck gave them both a happy nod before he headed out, humming a cheerful tune under his breath. That had gone well.

Now he just had to tell Eddie.

[reverie-starlight]

{the video call incident ~ MSBY manager!reader}

{sakusa x GN!reader}

aka: you and sakusa are trying to keep your relationship under wraps from the rest of the team and break the news slowly. key word trying. gone wrong.

warnings: none, really, just humor/bantering/insults, fluff. also sakusa is sweet towards you. idc if you think he’s mean, I just think he’s so soft with his partner. miya twins and reader have been friends since before the timeskip but it’s only briefly mentioned. ONE suggestive line by Hinata... mildly suggestive at the very end.

notes: I ADORE this piece, it might be one of my favourite fics of mine. I kinda wanna do an MSBY manager series with the different guys... anyone interested? Also- every time I was mean to Atsumu in this fic I felt actual pain. I love him too much.

there is... a LOT of dialogue in this fic. just so you know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Kiyoomi, stop,” you laughed as you pushed you boyfriend back slightly. 

He had an early practice the next morning (technically as his team manager you did, too) but he was currently standing in the front hall of your apartment, arms wrapped around you and pressing kisses to your face. 

“No,” he said in between kisses, smiling slightly, “why should I?”

You didn’t have a good enough reason to give him and he knew that. He continued his actions and you sighed.

“Kiyoomi, you and I both know that I’d be more than happy to let you spend the night, but if we show up tomorrow in the same car for the second time this month, the guys are going to get suspicious.”

Sakusa sighed. “I know, I just want to appreciate you a little longer. I feel bad for keeping my distance at practice today. Meian is probably onto us and I wanted to redirect his focus.”

You smiled at him. “I’m sure he’s already figured it out. Better him than the trouble trio.”

He hummed in agreement.

The two of you had been keeping your relationship a secret for the past eight months. You’d been the MSBY manager for a couple years now, starting around the same time Sakusa was recruited, and at the end of the last season, after a big game, he had finally asked you out. (“Adrenaline and high off of a win,” he had reasoned when you questioned why he chose that moment.)

The only reason it was kept a secret was because some of the team members were rather… excitable.

Namely Atsumu, Bokuto and Hinata.

You loved the team you managed, and you loved their personalities. Really, you did.

Despite that love, you might as well be those three’s babysitter.

Add your boyfriend to the mix and things got even more chaotic. However, you did love to see how he interacted with them. Something about it is what drew you to him in the first place. (Your friends had made it clear that your type was apparently slightly mean tall guys who turn to mush behind closed doors. You hadn’t agreed until you met Sakusa.)

That aside, telling the team would result in chaos. The trio would accuse you of betrayal, they’d stare at you both during any small interactions and it would ultimately disrupt the team’s dynamic.

So you both decided to keep it a secret until the end of the current season so they could digest the news easier and have everything be mostly normal by time the next game season rolled around.

You tried one more time to push him off and he sighed. He gave you three more quick pecks and unwrapped his arms from around your waist.

“Fine, I’ll go,” he said, reaching for his coat.

You were about to help him into it when he suddenly patted his pockets in a panic. “I left my phone in the living room, can I go get it?”

You nodded and he moved back into the main part of the apartment just as your phone started ringing. You rolled your eyes when you realized who it was. You swiped the accept call button and groaned when he popped up on the screen with messy towel dried hair and a hyper look on his face. Oh brother.

“What, Atsumu?” You really didn’t want to pick up at that moment, but you knew that if you ignored it he’d either keep calling non-stop or be all pouty about it at practice tomorrow.

Neither option was favourable.

“Y/n! ‘m bored. Ya gotta keep me company.” 

You frowned. “You couldn’t call Bokuto or Hinata? Or Sakusa?”

“Neither of ‘em picked up when I called. And omi-omi doesn’t pick up unless he already knows why I’d be callin’ so I didn’t bother.”

“Well I’m really sorry, Atsumu, but you caught me at a bad time, I’m busy right now,” you tried to sound sympathetic but it came off as rushed.

He was still your friend and you didn’t like ignoring him, but he really did catch you at the worst time.

Sakusa came back into the front hall looking like he was about to say something but stopped when he saw you were on the phone.

“But Y/nnnnn!” He rolled his eyes and let out an involuntary scoff when he heard Atsumu’s voice.

He clapped a hand over his mouth and looked at you with wide eyes.

You hoped the man on the screen hadn’t heard that but even if he hadn’t, the panicked look on your face and the way your eyes flicked to something behind your phone definitely tipped him off.

A wide smirk took over his face when you looked back at your phone and you started shaking your head.

“Do ya have a boy over, Y/n? Is that what this is?”

“Shut up, no I don’t.” you started but you were cut off.

“OH SHIT YOU DO! SHOW ‘IS FACE, WHO IS HE? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US? WHO’VE YA BEEN-“

You ended the call.

Sakusa slowly took his hand away from his mouth and looked at you. It was silent for a good three seconds before he said “That’s on me.”

“It’s fine, he doesn’t know who it was.”

“Do you think you can keep him from telling anyone?”

Both of your phones started buzzing at the same time. 

“Too late,” you said in unison.

Suddenly a video call from the group chat came through. “Shit,”

“Okay, Kiyoomi, I think it’s best that you go now, if you join the call from your place it’ll be less suspicious.”

He nodded. “Good idea,” he rushed to get his coat and shoes on and kissed you once before heading out. “I love you and I’m sorry if this goes badly.”

You returned his affection and locked the door before joining the group call. Hinata was there, too.

“Atsumu. I swear to god, you didn’t need to turn this into a whole thing. Hi Hinata.”

The orange haired boy beamed at you and waved. “Hi Y/n! How are you?” 

“Shoyo! Our dear manager has A BOY OVER.”

“Oh, are you dating someone, Y/n?” 

“I’m n-”

“WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE FREAKIN’ OUT OVER THIS?”

You rolled your eyes once again. “Because, Miya, not everyone is as invested in my personal life as you are.”

He gasped at the use of his last name and was about to throw something back at you when Bokuto joined the call on his evening jog. Just great. If Atsumu successfully managed to rile him up, Hinata would surely follow soon after. You needed to do damage control. 

Quickly exiting the screen of the call, you texted your boyfriend.

I need you to knock Atsumu down a peg, please join the call. 

Oh, my pleasure.

As you were texting him, you heard Bokuto and Hinata rambling on about tomorrow’s practice. The setter looked mildly annoyed that no one was paying attention to him anymore. 

“Bokkun!! Listen to me for a minute!! Y/n has a-”

At long last, Sakusa joined the call from what looked like the inside of the grocery store five minutes from his house.

“Omi! What’re you doing here? You never join our video calls unless Y/n makes you- wait where the hell are ya?”

“It was a misclick, don’t get too excited, Miya. And you interrupted my grocery shopping, if you must know.”

“Well don’t leave! You’re gonna wan’ to hear this.”

Sakusa sighed. “I’m sure I won’t.”

You had to bite back a smile at the faux bored look on his face.

“OKAY, Bokkun, Omi-Omi, Y/N HAS A BOY OVER. AND THEY WON’T TELL US WHO.”

Sakusa blinked. “Miya, why do you care so much about our manager’s personal life? Is your own that boring? Are you so unsatisfied that you have to live vicariously through other people’s? Just watch reality TV if that’s the case, I’m sure Y/n would appreciate it as well.”

You let a small laugh out at the sight of your setter looking like he was just slapped across the face.

“LISTEN ‘ERE, SAKUSA-”

Your boyfriend promptly kicked him out of the call, looking rather pleased with himself.

Bokuto on the other hand...

“WOAHH, Y/N WHO IS IT? TELL US! YOU CAN TRUST US!”

Aaaand now Hinata wanted in on the action. “YEAH, YOU CAN TELL US Y/N!”

Atsumu rejoined the call not a second later. “WHY’D YA KICK ME OUT? Y’know what? Fine. I’m adding someone else to the call.”

You gasped when a familiar contact picture popped up on the screen and the connceting dots appeared. 

“Oh for the love of- Your brother, Atsumu, really?? Don’t drag him into this.”

The other (and in your opinion at this particular moment- the better) Miya twin finally picked up. “Uh. Hi? Whaddaya need, 'tusmu?”

“SAMU, Y/n has a boy over.”

“Okay, and?” You’ll give him credit for at least trying to look uninterested.

“They come into your restaurant sometimes don’t they? Have they ever brought a guy with them?”

“Atsumu, please just drop it-” but your pleas fell on deaf ears. 

Osamu shook his head and you almost, almost thought you were in the clear until...

“They only brought Sakusa in one time last month... and Suna did mention that he saw them together when you were all in Tokyo for some matches.”

Both of the Miya twins were dead to you. You silently took back everything you said about Samu being the better one. Years of friendship down the drain. 

You thought he’d have your back on this one but you forgot that, at heart, Osamu is just as much of a little shit as his twin. 

“Osamu!” You shouted, betrayed. 

He shrugged. “Sorry, Y/n.”

Atsumu glared at the screen. “As if it’d be Omi-Omi. We’d definitely know if it was him. Y/n, it wouldn’t have come to this point if ya had just told us who’s with you right now.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m home alone right now, genius, he’s long gone. And it isn’t any of your business!”

At that moment everything you’d been working so hard to keep a secret crumbled before your eyes. 

Bokuto suddenly had a look of realization wash over his face. 

Shit.

“Wait, if that’s the case, then could it be Omi after all? I ran into him while he was walking in the opposite direction of Y/n’s apartment building when I passed by on my jog ten minutes ago.” He said it totally innocently, as if you having Sakusa over wasn’t as big as Atsumu was making it out to be.

The call went silent for a solid minute before Atsumu started speaking. 

“Bokkun, what did you sa-”

Oops, there goes Atsumu again.

“I sai-”

Oh no, Bokuto too.

You and Sakusa stared at the screen in shock, waiting to see Hinata’s reaction.

Osamu just smirked and waved goodbye before signing off himself. 

Hinata just smiled at the two of you. “Congratulations! I’m really happy for you guys... do you congratulate friends when you find out they’re sleeping together?”

Hinata, your sweet sunshine friend was successful in unfreezing the both of you. “It’s not like that, Hinata-”

“Not normally, no.”

You glared at Sakusa (who was now back in his apartment without a mask) but he just smirked at you. “Kiyoomi.” 

“Alright, I’m sorry.”

“Anyway,” you tried again. “Hinata, we’re dating. We have been for a while.”

“Oh! That definitely calls for celebration then!” 

You smiled slightly before the banished returned to the call. 

“’kay, ya really need to stop doin’ that.” Atsumu said immediately. 

“Why was I kicked out, Y/n? You’re not mad at me are you?”

“No, Bokuto, of course not.” 

“Stop ignorin’ me!”

“Miya, stop being a pest.”

“Guys!! They’re dating! I was right.” 

You froze again. “Hinata... what did you say?”

“...nothing.” 

“Don’t make me kick you out of this call.”

“Fine! I knew you guys were dating. It was kind of obvious.”

“What do you mean obvious, Hinata?” Sakusa asked. 

You shared a glance with him through the screen in confusion. You were both so sure you were hiding it well. Actually... you knew you were hiding it well, considering Atsumu and Bokuto didn’t catch on until now.

“Well, one day a few months ago I may have caught you two making out behind the gym. At that point I thought it was just that kind of relationship and figured it wasn’t my business. But then a few weeks ago, after Sakusa and Atsumu had gotten into an argument at practice, he called Komori-”

“Ah, Shoyo, let’s not-”

“You have my cousin’s number?” Sakusa hissed.

“He does!” 

“Bokkun, seriously, stop-”

“I’m not letting this go, Miya.”

“Hinata, please continue.”

“And Atsumu asked about his relationship status because he wanted blackmail or something. Then Komori said that his lips were sealed, he promised Sakusa he wouldn’t say anything to anyone. I put two and two together, Bokuto thought he was just being a good cousin and let it go, and Atsumu assumed Sakusa was just embarrassed about being single. After that I kinda noticed that you two seemed closer and assumed everyone else on the team knew too. I tried to ask Atsumu about it but he was dead set on not believing you’d date-in his words- ‘an ass like omi-omi’”

You stared at Hinata with wide eyes. “You knew for that long... and managed not to let it slip?”

He shrugged. “It wasn’t hard. I was focused on practice most of the time anyway, so it honestly just slipped my mind.”

Maybe you didn’t give Hinata enough credit. 

“Atsumu, you owe me a meat bun now since I was right!”

Or maybe you were justified with your initial feeling. 

“You bet on us being together?!”

It was going to be a long night. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BONUS:

After explaining everything to the trouble trio about why you didn’t tell them, you were left on call with Sakusa.

“Well... that was certainly something.” He said.

“Mmhmm,” You looked at him. “Kiyoomi...”

He offered you a soft grin. “I’m already putting my shoes on. I’ll be there soon. Now you have no excuses for not letting me stay the night.”

You giggled and rested your chin on your palm. “I guess not. It’s a shame, really, you’re getting to be so clingy lately. Ever heard of the term personal space?”

“Oh please,” he scoffed. “says the one who literally will not let go of me unless I physically detach you from my body most days.”

“You guys are disgustingly sweet.”

“What are you still doing here, Atsumu?! I thought you left?”

“I snuck back in.”

“Well leave.”

“Sure. But I’m telling everyone how soft you are for our manager tomorrow morning.”

Sakusa raised an eyebrow. “You really think anyone will believe you without proof?”

The last thing you heard before Sakusa blew you a kiss was Atsumu groaning as he was kicked from the call one last time upon realizing he in fact does not have proof.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BONUS 2:

You woke up the next morning completely intertwined with Sakusa. 

“My love, wake up. We’re going to be late.”

You groaned and snuggled into his side more, shivering slightly when he traced lines on the skin of your back. He laughed and pried you off of him. 

“Mm no, five more minutes.” 

“Come on, Y/n/n, if we’re late you know we’ll never hear the end of it. We don’t have the luxury of secrecy anymore. Besides,” he poked you in the stomach and leaned in closer to you. “you’re the one who insisted on staying up late last night. I tried to tell you that this would happen, but you were just so needy-”

“Okay, okay, I’m up,” you cut him off, then mumbled under your breath “but I didn’t hear you complaining much.”

You shrieked when two arms wrapped around your waist and you were pulled against his chest. “I’m sorry did you say something, my dear?”

It didn’t matter if you were late or not in the end, because when you entered the gym, you were greeted with a round of applause and some whistles. And your boyfriend was weighed down by the endless teasing about his messed up hair and marks on his chest in the changing room. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[accio-bagel]

Coming in hot with a Natty appreciation post ❤️

Wall of text below the cut

I love Natty. She's my brave, frustrating, badass girl, and while the writing for her storyline lacked somewhat in comparison to the other companions, much of the discourse I see around her is so negative - it has really been disappointing to see the kinds of things people say about her. She doesn't have to be your favorite. I'm not saying you have to love her. But you can actually prefer Sebastian and Poppy without disparaging Natsai. You can also critique her without resorting to making fun of her voice or accent. Give her a chance and consider her dialogue and her actions, and you might gain some more appreciation for her.

She is a peak Gryffindor and here are some reasons why I love her, including her flaws:

Friendly, kind, and empathetic: with her experience being the new student the previous year, she knows how scary it can be and she's quick to offer you a place to sit on your first day of class, then readily shares her book with you when she sees you don't have one. She even gives you advice during Summoners Court when you're playing against her, and isn't upset if you win. She tells you she was actually planning on asking you to Hogsmeade with her if you choose her as your guide. She wants you to feel welcomed right away and wants to get to know you.

Brave, powerful, and reckless: just like Sebastian, she jumps in to help you fight a troll without a second thought on her first day knowing you, and she's a strong duelist both in Crossed Wands and on your missions with her. She is ready and willing to gather evidence on her own while you go save a host of beasts from poachers the second she finds out a Hippogriff that means something to you is in danger. She sticks her nose into business she shouldn’t and doesn’t consider the reality of the dangers she’s getting herself into (a very Harry Potter trait.) But would you really rather have her be without flaw? Sounds boring. Ultimately she doesn’t ever let fear stop her from acting to protect others - don't forget she dives in front of the Cruciatus curse for you! She's a damn good friend to have by your side.

Proud and confident but can still be humble and open to change: she is happy to share some interesting information about Uagadou if you choose to ask her and she has pride in both her magical abilities and where she came from. She's confident in Summoner's Court but acknowledges afterward that it took her a while to gain that skill. She also admits she likes the drama of using a wand and she's grown to appreciate Hogwarts and Scotland (except in winter, which who can blame her? it's cold!)

Talented: to name just a few examples, she can cast wandless magic, Weasley calls her out as one of the best students in school, and let's not forget she's an animagus by age 15 - we know from the Harry Potter books that is no small feat and very few people actually achieve the ability.

Strong morals and ideals, stubbornly so: she is a pure heart and wants to take down the bad guys so nobody has to suffer the same way she did as a young girl. Can you really begrudge her youthful idealism? While her motivations are a bit muddy because she has no solid personal connection to Harlow or Rookwood, she is ultimately looking at the bigger picture and striving to make the world a better, safer place. Like Sebastian and Poppy, she won't let anyone talk her out of her ideals and remains undeterred in her belief that what she's doing is right, regardless of the dangers involved. While it shouldn't be up to two teenagers to clear out a criminal organization, in the end, she and you actually do get Harlow arrested finally, no thanks to the utterly useless Officer Singer, so Natty kinda had a point.

Loving and emotional: she is emotionally open with you and isn't afraid to ask for support from a friend while she's suffering from grief and guilt about her father. She isn’t embarrassed to tell you that you’ve inspired her to stand up to power, or how much your friendship means to her. Despite her frustrations, she loves her mother deeply, and she misses her father with all her heart.

Rebellious and independent: similar to Garreth, she has a guardian whom she feels is suffocating her. She wants to roam freely in her animagus form and explore her new home on her own, but her mother is worried about her safety (fair) and the closer Professor Onai clings, the more it pushes Natty to act out. She wants to challenge the system which is allowing Rookwood to strut around Hogsmeade like he owns the place when he should be in prison, and takes matters into her own hands when the authorities fail to act. Nothing more punk and badass than fighting the man and getting shit done.

Pretty, cute, tall: really, seriously look at her! Big Brown EyesTM and lashes for days. Freckles! Need I go on? (I will anyway.) Her profile. That cute little curl in the front of her hair, and from the back her hairstyle looks like a flower. I also recently noticed she is slightly taller than the female MC (tall girls need more love in media) and I can imagine them and Poppy being a cute witch trio of different heights. I also think her awkward smiles are endearing.

Lovely, soothing voice: I find her voice to be very soft and personally, I could listen to her talk all day. Her VA, Jessica Hayles, put so much emotion into her lines, and did you know she also voices three other characters: Nellie Oggspire, Charlotte Morrison, and Hyacinth Olivier? I have huge respect for a VA who can do multiple accents and change their voice to be so distinct for each character that I would've had no idea if I hadn't looked it up.

If anyone actually read all of this just know that I appreciate you deeply

[rontra]

they literally are so real though. God of light is like “hey your wife killed a whole load of people and if you go hang out with her you will Not have a good time” and the first thing she says to him is “what if we took over the world by violent force and installed ourselves as the gods of the world” and he goes “ok :)”. and hes right.

[INCORRECT BUZZER]

->HE SAYS<- "hi i'm back. anyway apropos nothing i want to unite the world under one banner. for. um. undisclosed reasons". and SHE says "ok :)" <- their actual conflict has very little to do with this*

the thing he has a problem with (and which ultimately tears the rift between them) is her religious stance, because she is an unyielding apostate and he is on a mission from the joker of gods. and he spends his life guiltily withholding that information from her, because if she knew this was a mission from the joker of gods, she wouldn't be helping him do it

anyway ozma's sudden wish inherently carries violence with it and salem is smart enough to understand that and articulate it back to him. religiosity aside, they are on the same page about that; there is no world where "making the entire world bow to the same worldview/ruler/ideology/(sotto voce: and religion)" does not imply violent conquest of existing nations and cultures. she makes clear to him what needs to happen for him to get what he wants, and that she is willing to do it with him, and he's like "epic, i love my cool wife. let's not discuss religion at the dinner table 😬"

violent conquest was not even remotely on salem's itinerary but it is what he's suddenly talking about post-reincarnation, and she's willing to do it with him. SHE said "ok :)". We're All In This Together ❤️

but yea they're so real. i wish them a very merry "soulmates being twisted and used against each other so severely that they can no longer recognize each other's hearts". and a happy new year

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

The Arcana HCs: M6 with an asexual MC

~ this is by no means my personal experience, but after several requests and some wonderful people helping me research, here we are! Hope you enjoy :) - brainrot ~

NOTE: being asexual and being aromantic are two distinct experiences. these headcanons are for an asexual MC, if I write for an aromantic MC, that will be in its own post so it's properly covered ^.^

Julian

This reflects on his own unfortunate dating history, but he's really not used to starting romantic relationships off of something that doesn't involve a physical connection. He's a little confused

He's not stupid, he can tell you two have something special going on, but you don't seem especially interested in taking things to the bedroom and he's not sure what to make of it

Do you just find him physically repulsive, but mentally stimulating? Is it the eyepatch? Because he can lose the eyepatch -

Genuinely relieved once you explain, because it lets him know what your boundaries are and how best he can work towards something real with you without pushing you into something you don't want

If you enjoy steamier things when it's part of you two connecting and expressing your feelings, he's still quick to initiate

He's very understanding when you're not in the mood or up for anything steamy, but it's equally important to him to hear that you still want to spend time loving him, even if it's not in that way

If you don't want to do anything steamy at all, he'll want you to give him clear boundaries so he doesn't accidentally overstep

In the end, his relationship with you is based on your mutual commitment to taking care of each other. That's not changing

Asra

This is ... complicated for them

Don't get him wrong. He loves you, completely and unconditionally, and he would never, ever want you to feel forced. He's just happy he gets a second shot at life with you

At the same time, they have the easiest time expressing their love for you through their physicality

He says "I love you" out loud maybe once a fortnight - but he says it a thousand times daily with gentle touches, kisses brushed to your neck in passing, and casually intimate moments

So realizing as they cared for you that you had no interest in the ultimate physical act of love required a bit of a mental reset

Honestly, he's scared of not being able to love you the way you deserve, and of not feeling loved in return (he'll find it's not true)

If you enjoy steamier things as part of an emotional connection, they are all on board. They're always clear about being open to fun times, but they'll leave it to you to actually initiate stuff

If you don't want to do anything of that nature, he'll avoid the conversation at first but ultimately want to talk to you about what physical affection you are open to. Kisses? Cuddles? Handholding?

Their joy is in your joy. If they can feel you breathing, they're happy

Nadia

Oh. Oh dear, she's gone about wooing you quite the wrong way

Her first instinct on hearing your explanation is to apologize. Her approach to courtship tends to be very sensual, and the thought of you not enjoying such things didn't cross her mind

She's going to want to clear a few things up, too - she knows she took a steamy approach, but she genuinely enjoys you for who you are, regardless of what you are or aren't open to

That said, please sit down and talk to her right away about what your boundaries, preferences, and comfort zones are, because she doesn't want to take any chances on miscommunication

Thankfully, spoiling you doesn't require any physical contact at all

If you're open to fun times as part of a special connection, she's very careful to establish a balanced power dynamic in that area. (Unless you'd still like her to take control :P)

She'll initiate sometimes, but it's always preceded with her asking what mood you're in and if you're in the headspace for it

If you'd rather keep things completely innocent, she'll want detailed boundaries for what physical affection is and isn't okay

She doesn't love you for your body. She loves you for your strength, and your faith in her. Give her that, and she'll give you everything

Muriel

Okay. Sounds good

This is accompanied with a heavy blush because it means you're referencing *adult* things, but he's really not that bothered

If he has any relational issues with it, it would only be after you've been together long enough that he would feel comfortable sharing his body with you if it were an option

Then he might take it into his head that this is your way of saying you don't trust him not to hurt you, or that you find his scars ugly

Obviously, this is not true, and all it takes to prove otherwise is not wincing when you see him or shying away when he gets close

If you enjoy less innocent things when it's a way of being close and enjoying each other, then he's down for that too. He doesn't really get "in the mood" unless you put him in the mood, so there's that

There might be a lot of missed opportunities until one or both of you learns to initiate without worrying about pressuring each other

If you don't like steamy things at all, cool. He likes how relatively uncomplicated that makes the physical side of your relationship, especially when he's still got a complicated view of his body

He's learning to love gentle, safe touch, though, so if things like cuddles and cheek kisses are your jam, then please. Have at it

Portia

Huh. She's pretty sure she's heard of this before, but she's never navigated a relationship where that was something to keep in mind. Tell her more!

She feels the most free to discuss it casually/joke around about it. Gets completely into the garlic bread stereotype and will laughingly bake you some if it's something you like eating

If anything, learning about this makes her feel even more secure in her relationship with you. It tells her all over again that you chose her for who she is, and not some other motivation

That said, she does have needs of her own, and feels just as free talking to you about how she goes about satisfying them solo as long as that's not something you're disgusted hearing about

If you enjoy steamy things with her as part of your connection, she'll go out of her way to really emphasize what the act means with you instead of getting lost in the moment

She'll bring it up fairly often, usually as part of a list of options to do together: do you want normal cuddles, or special cuddles?

If it's something you don't want anything to do with, she's likely to ask you lots of questions about it simply because she's a curious person. You're her partner in crime! That's all that really matters

Lucio

He's about as confused by someone who wants a relationship without adult special fun time as he is confused by people who like to listen to music without dancing along

Don't you feel like you're missing out? Isn't that the whole point of being in a relationship with someone? (spoiler alert: it's not. that's the trauma and lack of self awareness talking)

When he first learns this about you as he gets to know you, he ends up assuming it means that you just don't do romance at all

And then, as his own feelings for you grow and he learns what it means to trust someone enough to be vulnerable around them, he comes to realize that relationships can be so much more than that

If you enjoy adult stuff when it's part of a bigger context, he ends up having to learn how to engage in intimacy that isn't just a greedy scramble to satisfy physical desires

You have a standing invitation to his body, and he'll bring it up frequently, but he finds way more satisfaction in the quiet security of being held by someone he loves, who loves him back

If you're not into it at all, he'll need a solid explanation of what's on and off the table and why before he learns what to and not to initiate. He wants to love you and be loved. That's all

[syyskirjat]

Sueños de piedra (ch1)

Okay, I promised (to myself) to check out whatever media won the ultimate obscure blorbo tournament ( @who-do-i-know-this-man (I wasn't sure whether to tag you or not but in the end I figured I might as well, hope you don't mind I guess))

Turns out that it's a guy from a 2015 Spanish YA fantasy book

And turns out there's a free sample available! Which is lucky for me because I'm currently very broke

Sueños de piedra by Iria G. Parente and Selene M. Pascual

I don't speak Spanish so I'm gonna rely on the translator quite a lot lmao (well I understand some Spanish actually, but definitely not enough to read a whole book)

The title translates to something like "Dreams of Stone" I think?

Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, a prince rewarded a wizard for helping rescue a young girl in trouble. Charming. Too bad none of this is true. In reality, the prince dreams of glory and revenge; the magician, with her spells not always being a disaster and the young woman in trouble, with fleeing from a past that torments her... and from the memory of the man she has killed. Once upon a time...

(Yes this is just Google Translate, sorry)

Okay so, prince, magician and a damsel in distress? Prince wants revenge for something, who knows what, magician is having trouble doing the magic, and the damsel is in fact a killer? Ok ok

The dedication goes as follows:

To all those who embark on a direct journey towards their dreams every day. May you always reach your destination.

Okay so Marabilia is a place? That's apparently also the name of this book series. Is this like the kingdom then? So it consists of three islands, two small ones and one big? Or is it supposed to be a continent? It definitely seems too small to be a continent

I know the blorbo is called Arthmael de Silfos so I'm guessing he's from the Silfos area in the north of the big island then. I can see what's probably a city called Duan and a forest called "Merlon Forest". We also have different towers around the big island, one of which seems to be called the Tower of Black Magic. (I didn't even need to use the translator for those yay xD)

Okay the first chapter is called Arthmael so I guess we're meeting our blorbo already, which is nice

— Let me make it clear: are you going to give my crown to a bastard?

Okay..... the very first line and I already think Arthmael might be a bit of a spoiled brat (I assume he's in fact the prince)

Apparently Arthmael just found out that he has an illegitimate older brother but I guess this brother's mother is noble anyway so it's legit? I dunno yet. Arthmael thinks this guy is blackmailing his father somehow and is already considering poison as a solution

And anyway, what kind of a name is Jacques for a king?

lmao, so much shade to all the kings called Jacques

Okay so Jacques's family is very powerful and loved by the people of Silfos and the king fears a civil war if he disrespects his claim to the throne. Alright. Kinda weird since based on Arthmael's thoughts, this society has a similar attitude to bastards as in European history, but okay then. I wonder if Jacques is even actually the king's son or is this some kind of a ruse?

Arthmael is very cheeky and even references his dad's love life directly to his face, his dad is not very happy

The king tells him to just be a good boy and hopefully they'll find him some crown princess to marry so he'll get a kingdom that way

I guess these different areas on the map are kingdoms then, that makes sense. They look like very small kingdoms but this is a small place in general.

Arthmael doesn't seem to mind this idea except that there's only one possible princess like that in Marabilia and that's Ivy de Dione. Not sure what's wrong with her.

Well, who knows? Maybe, if I wait a few moons, some other bastard, in Verves or Idyll, will come out from under a rock and come offer me her hand.

Somebody's very snarky, that's cute

Arthmael is very haughty about how the people have always known him as the crown prince and accepted him as such, Jacques laughs and asks what has he even done for the people. He's like well he hasn't really done much yet because he was planning to do things once he became king, but he's been supporting the local business (taverns) and employing servants (lmao). Also apparently there are some girls he's seeing...

Apparently Jacques's family are big traders and business people (despite being noblemen) and create lots of jobs, and also big on charity, so everybody loves them

Arthmael is jealous of how proud his dad looks when Jacques says this, and how he's never looked at him like that

Well, I guess you're kind of a little shit so it makes sense, Arthmael

— If the smartest thing is to become the idol of a few starving people in order to be king, I can do it too.

Oh my god, this little brat

He declares that he's going to be a hero, to overshadow the charity of Jacques' family, because heroes are remembered by history while philanthropist aren't

So he plans to become a storybook Prince Charming, saving damsels in distress etc.

Jacques finds this understandably hilarious, the king is not amused

Once Jacques leaves, the king again offers to arrange a marriage to Arthmael, specifically with the princess of Dione

I'm almost tempted. I have never been to Dione, but they say that their ships are the lightest and fastest, and that sailors come to their shores from the other side of the sea, speaking strange languages that only they understand. Who come from lands where women wear short dresses, if they wear anything at all. Places where war is so normal that, as soon as a child is strong enough to pick up a sword, they push him to the front lines.

Alright then, I see what he fixates on

Was there anything wrong with the princess then or?

Barbarians. I remove the thought from my mind.

Oh okay. What a charming young man /s

Dione is like right next to Silfos according to the map btw, is this like one of those neighbourly feuds?

Okay he says it's because he doesn't want a foreign kingdom, he wants to keep his home, which is fair I guess

The king is like what do you want me to do, kill Jacques and his pregnant wife? And Arthmael is just like yeah great idea, because he's a dumbass. The king is like wtf

Apparently Jacques' family is from that Duan city that I noted earlier, and his mother died a few days ago and apparently "her loss is greatly felt"

The king regrets spoiling Arthmael too much, and talks about how Arthmael doesn't understand anything about suffering or anything and only cares about girls

Arthmael is already considering faking his death to make them all feel sorry, because of course he is, he's exactly that kind of guy

He says he doesn't want to go try to charm the princess, he'd rather just go off on his own (also there's a whole bit about how only a man can rule Dione or something and the king of Dione won't accept his daughter to become a ruler)

His dad tells him no, just stay here and be a good boy, don't make everybody gossip about drama in the royal family

Arthmael is like hey you managed to hide your bastard son for years, you can hide my disappearance

They fight a bit more but then Arthmael just storms out, grabs a few things from his room and leaves

a change of clothes, a bag of coins, my sword, and my favourite cloak. I do not need anything else.

Okay then, good luck I guess

To be a hero you only need a brave heart. Or so they say.

I feel like you also need to not be a selfish prick but maybe that's optional

Okay end of first chapter!

Our blorbo seems like a real brat!

But I guess the point is probably that he needs to learn some lessons along the way, or something like that, idk. I'm sure there's a reason for why whoever entered him into the tournament likes him so much

I'm guessing the damsel in distress is not the princess? Probably? She wasn't called a princess anyway. TBH she's the character I'm currently the most curious about. The next chapter is from the point of view of someone called Lynne and I hope that's her. Could be the magician too though I guess? No wait, I think the magician is a guy. Altho idk maybe Lynne could be a guy's name, I don't fucking know.

I'm guessing that Arthmael will try to rescue the damsel so he can be a hero, because that's what heroes are supposed to do, but then it'll go wrong somehow? And then the magician will get involved somehow, I have no clue.

That's all my predictions I suppose. Altho I'm guessing that Jacques might turn out to be a villain somehow, I didn't get the vibe that he was particularly great either, just not as much of a brat as Arthmael, and it would then be something for Arthmael to do when he gets back home. Then again maybe the book will surprise me, who knows. To be honest, it would feel a bit like a cop out if it turns out that the guy he hates actually is evil, but it could be handled well, and it's not like I like Jacques either so far. He seems extremely sus too

No guesses as to what the title refers to yet, it could be anything

Idk, like I said, the damsel's storyline is the one that interests me the most rn, it might actually get me to read further (good job, blurb, you got me)

I still have a surprisingly good amount of the free sample left, there's actually nine chapters here, so idk, maybe I'll keep going? We'll see

I'm pretty happy with how much I was able to follow the text even on my own, altho I definitely had to rely on the translator. I would not have had the patience to try to translate all of this myself. But I definitely understood multiple full sentences! Yaaay xD

Apologies to fans of this book series, I hope I didn't seem too rude

[catboylister]

hi iwbftblr i am going to yap about when/why i think listers addiction starts because i think about it a lot

cw for disscussions of alcoholism (obviously) but also sa and poverty and basically anything lister goes through at all. bro is living ROUGH

i don't believe that its as simple as hes just got an 'addictive personality' or he has the addiction gene. jimmy himself even says that "before we got famous, lister showed little sign of being into the party lifestyle, beyond being mildly disruptive at school." (pg 79.) so its most likely due to other triggers that his addiction began.

one of the most obvious things that triggers his alcoholism is having access to money after growing up in poverty. also on pg 79 jimmy says "as soon as we started making money, lister's love for the finer things reared its head." growing up in poverty is fucking rough, and lister is still a young teen when they start getting famous, he has no idea how budgeting, savings or credit actually works. its a very typical childish response for him to have. in the scene where they argue in the bathroom lister confirms that he was very close to living on the streets, so of course hes going to be excitable and reckless when he has access to the wild amount of money they get from being famous. and again, lister basically confirms that this wealth is a big trigger for him, drinking and parties for him is just "enjoying having money and being happy." (pg. 141)

as for when that actually starts, isn't the most clear, but you can sort of create a timeline by looking at some of the extra materials like 'the incident on showday' and the wiki pages alice has made !! while the incident doesn't actually have a canon ending, the things we learn about the characters and how the act tells us a little bit more the ark's life pre-iwbft.

starting with 'the incident on showday' lister is 17 and it's very clear that he's already struggling with alcoholism. it's very much passed the 'just social drinking' phase considering he's (very badly) drinking in secret already. also cecily's 'no drinking on show days' rule is already a thing at the point. (this is all on the starting page of the game)

skipping slightly forward, when you get to the part where you're in the supply cupboard with jimmy, and choose to apologise, lister begins to ramble about his alcoholism and reveals quite a bit.

"look, i just... i know this isn't the first time i've done this and i promise... i swear i'll try to sort it out." / "i just... with the drinking... i feel like i can barely control it anymore, i dunno, and i always do it when i don't want to-"

from this we know that lister knows he has an issue, and maybe that he's been trying to deal with it on his own, but it hasn't been working out. either way, at 17, its already an issue that has been going on for a while. which makes me think that it became an addiction when he was either 16 or 17

we know that at these ages he's been through a lot. he was for the first time when he was 16, and i'd say it's implied that it happened again with kevin but thats a whole other conversation. it would have also been around the time that the suitcase incident happened and rowan was ignoring him, so he would've probably felt very lonely, and partied more to try cope with that. these, plus the money are probably the biggest causing factors for his addiction, at least from my interpretation.

also, as for jimmy and rowan not intervening, through iwbft, especially at the start, lister's drinking habits are sort of portrayed as just this quirk of his. though jimmy's attitude towards it gets more serious as the week goes on. jimmy only comes to the realisation that lister is displaying obvious signs of alcoholism for the first time when he finds him in the bathroom. he does attempt to bring this up to lister, but ultimately it is considered and issue for another day, which results in the whole lister almost dying because red flags weren't taken seriously enough thing. again thats probably better for a whole other conversation too.

but anyway, timeline that makes most sense in my head is:

the ark start blowing up + making money -> the record their first album -> lister is assaulted -> album eventually comes out and they're preparing for their first european tour -> lister accidentally outs jimmy -> rowan ignores lister for 2 months, so probably that entire tour -> lister is extremely lonely -> he starts to party more to as a coping mechanism simply because he can -> he learns that if he's ever sad or stressed drinking 'fixes' it -> congrats !! alcoholism achieved !! -> 'the incident on showday' takes place somewhere here

do not try this at home guys

[midwesternvibes]

Time for more Seperated Leo Human AU! (I really need a name good lord-)

As promised, we now get to look into Leon's lore! He's a funky little guy, and shockingly well adjusted!

Lore drop under the cut!

His full name is Leonardo Tomás Esposito, and he is quite proud of it! He picked it out himself when he was about 10 years old, and he's happy to say that he still loves it to this day! (Fun fact: all of the names have double meanings to them hehe)

But anyways, his Mamà is in fact, NOT Big Mama (but it was a solid guess!), her name is actually Mia Esposito! (+10 Fandom points to anyone who can guess her full first name) She is a full time nurse and used to travel around the several NYC hospitals as an on-call nurse, but once Leon was born she stuck her roots down to one and has been there ever since!

She's actually an incredibly interesting character (with her very own arc!) with a lot of depth and meaning. She grew up with her Puerto Rican mother and Italian father, but after a series of misfortunes and despair, she ended up immigrating to NYC to start a new life for herself. About 10 years later she began raising a baby all on her own as a single immigrant mother in New York City (Sound familiar?). Whenever Leon asks about his father she tells him that she doesn't remember his Papá, only that he had the same almond-shaped brown eyes as her baby boy....

But ultimately she doesn't remember him hahaha maybe Leon should stop asking questions and get back to studying!

(Leon knows that she's hiding something, but ultimately he doesn't care about his father that much, he just assumes that he did something to hurt his Mamá and wants nothing to do with the man at all)

Leon and his Mamá are very close, they're very similar to Percy and Sally Jackson from the PJO series, and they would definitely fight God for each other.

Leon was raised very much with the mentality of "It takes a village" and has many aunts and uncles and relatives in the hospital staff that he considers family. Mia couldn't really afford childcare as Leon grew up, as it often came down to food or rent for the month. The hospital staff saw this and absolutely adored little baby Esposito, so they were more than happy to raise him alongside their own children. Mia owes her life to this staff and considers them her family through and through.

As he grew up, Leon saw all his favorite people as nurses and doctors and considered each and every one of them heros. He decided very early on that he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up, and after a terrible injury when he was 14 it cemented the fact that he wanted to be a pediatric surgeon, to help kids just like him.

But the issue is, Leon and Mia definitely do not have enough to cover medical school for Leon on a single nurse's income, even with all the jobs that Mia and Leon have taken over the years. That's why Leon NEEDS the athletic and valedictorian scholarship, without it he won't be able to achieve his dream. The only thing standing in his way is.....

THE HAMATOS

(Except Michael, he's a gift)

Leon is willing to do ANYTHING to get those scholarships, but his Mamá always reminds him that the Hamatos might need it just as badly as he does, and that's about all that's keeping him from REALLY doing anything to hurt/sabotage them. His Mamá has instilled a really strict moral code into his psyche and he won't actually do anything to them, he just....really wants to give his Mamá a better life, one she deserves.

Although, he is kinda curious as to why the Hamato brothers have the same eyes as him......

First // Previous // Next

Whew! That was pretty much just a really intense ramble, sorry there was no actual structure to that, I just really wanted to talk about my Leon lore! Props to anyone who figures out the significance of all the names, and to clear up any confusion, Mia is Half Puerto Rican, half Italian, and Leon is 1/4 Puerto Rican, 1/4 Italian, and 1/2 Japanese (but shhh he doesn't know that yet) and obviously he's got that amazing vitiligo (shout out to anyone and everyone with vitiligo, y'all are amazing and beautiful)

Thanks for reading my lore dump, see ya next time for..... huh idk yet, vote ig

See ya next time!

[a-single-white-crow]

Household Spirits

Household sprits are personal favorite of mine. There are many examples in media of homes being alive or sentient. A famous Slavic example is the walking home of the Baba Yaga. In Western culture, we have the Castle from Howl's Moving Castle; if not from the book, then from the famous Studio Ghibli film of the same name. And seen in an absolute favorite film of mine, the 2006 animated film Monster House.

Now, what is a household spirit?

Simply, an entity or energy that specifically protects the home and Household

(Some may see their home as an energy/feeling in the home. If this energy is truly a Spirit or just the energy given to the home I’m unsure. So, for the sake of this topic, I will also be calling this energy a Household Spirit.)

There are two main categories of this Spirit. That of Deities and those of lesser Spirits.

House Deities are much more powerful and grand. They focus not on one home but many or all.

An example of a household Deity could be the Greek Goddess of Hearth; Hestia.

As for the lesser forms, they are more local. Focused on individual homes and households. They are a Spirit for the people.

Some examples of these Spirits are...

Brownies, Scottish (also taken by Irish)

Kobold/Hobgoblin, German

Lares, Roman

Gasin, Korea

Domovoy, Slavic

Nissie, Norwegian

These Spirits, as one can assume, were worshiped in the home. Some would have a small Idol/Effigy to represent the Spirit on a shrine, while others were seen more as members of the family. Going as far as to even invite them for family meals.

Personally I find caring for a household Spirit to be a priority. If nothing else they help fill one's home with wanted healthy energy. As an ignored home and Household Spirit can become dull, ill, or tired. Leading the home to become more susceptible to unwanted hauntings and negative energy filling the space.

For myself, my Household Spirit is genuinely one of my favorites to work with. His personality is so full. He has given myself and my husband so much motivation when working on our home.

It's not always happiness and rainbows with him though. He has caused a bit of trouble when he feels the need to. When I first started working with him, I let him know immediately that my husband is autistic and has adhd while I have adhd and have minor hoarding tendencies. So we can struggle with simple chores sometimes. I was clear with what to expect from us as our household Spirit. And because of this, he sometimes needs to get creative. I had a bathroom mat that was so worn and used the bottom of it was peeling away and leaving rubber bits everywhere. I kept saying I should replace it but I just never did. Years I kept that same rug. A week into working with our Household Spirit that rug was nudged towards the bathroom trashcan, rolled up slightly, and just anyway he could he pointed myself and my husband towards getting rid of the old worn thing. We never did. Always getting distacted or forgetting about it. Until one day we went into the guest bathroom and the rug was stained beyond saving. Completely destroyed. This forced instant action. We couldn't put it aside and it gave me the push to actually toss it. Since then he hasn't acted so drastically. But even then, I appreciated his act as it was the final kick I needed to get rid of that rug.

The moral of this story is to say...

They know how to get a job done. Make sure to let them know they are appreciated, and they will make it worth your while. And remember, they aren't messing around.

Offerings

Food (ie. Bread, sweets, fruits, ect.)

Drink (ie. Wine, Water, tea, dairy, ect.)

Speaking with the Spirit: Saying “Hello” when you come home

Lighting a Candle

Coins and trinkets

Creating of getting an effigy/Idol for the Spirit

***Note for Brownies and Hobs- Although they wear rags or "peasant's clothes". Never give them clothes. It is an ultimate insult for them, and they will leave***

What does a Household Spirit do?

Helps clean your home- Both in a literal sense and in a spiritual sense

You can leave an offering to your House Spirit asking them to protect your home while you are away for long periods of time.

Bring good luck

Find lost things

Certain types are known to leave gifts- Kobold/Hobgoblin

Can be mischievous or down right evil if mistreated- Breaking items or stealing things

When moving away does a Household Spirit go with you?

Answer: Depends on the Spirit

Some House Spirits are more like a Household Spirit meaning family and not house specific.

Others like the Domovoy of Slavic folklore are a house specific spirit. Meaning, when you move that specific Spirit stays.

When leaving being a House Spirit (as the Domovoy) make sure to perform a Ritual of Thanks to show appreciation, allow the Spirit to understand why you are leaving, and so the House Spirit will treat the next family with respect.

If there are ever any questions about whether your House Spirit should come or stay don’t be afraid to ask. Sometimes, even just your intuition is an answer.

[lurkingshan]

Cherry Magic Episode 7

This is one of those weeks where being so familiar with the Japanese live action version of this story actually got in my way at first, because I went into this week expecting the Cute Date Episode and instead we got something very different (and more interesting). In this expanded version of the story, the show took a beat to first take us through a bad date and reinforce its themes about the importance of communication, something that will matter a whole lot when Achi inevitably loses his telepathy powers. Once I caught on to what the story was doing, I really appreciated it (though I will say I think the execution of the date was a bit weak in some spots, there was a weird malaise to the whole sequence and we could have used more internal monologue to track Achi).

But I really loved what this bad date accomplished in the story. Karan getting too into his head and Doing Too Much? Check. Achi failing to communicate how he's feeling? Check check. The combination of these things leading to both of them feeling vaguely uneasy and dissatisfied? Check check check. (Also loved the subtle KP shade in that helicopter set up).

And it was perfectly contrasted with Jinta and Min's much simpler, and ultimately much better date. They didn't do anything fancy, they simply connected with each other authentically and had a great time doing it. I love that Jinta was so excited to learn about the power of communication that he immediately had to run and tell his bestie all about it. And that Achi immediately took that advice to heart and ran to Karan to confess how he was feeling was another big growth moment for him. I love that this moment of authentic communication, unaided by mind reading, is what allowed them to advance in their relationship.

As for Pai and Rock, I am still happy with the line this show is walking with them. Rock is obviously falling for Pai, but so far, she is not falling for him, and the show keeps reinforcing that she is happy being single and does not have romance on her mind. At least, not in her real life--her commitment to fictional romance remains strong. (Btw, I went back to check and I think they were watching Theory of Love.) My ideal version of this storyline would involve Pai ultimately deciding she would prefer not to date Rock after he confesses and them remaining friends. I don't know if that's how it will go, but I like that this story has provided a clear aroacespec read for her even if she dates Rock.

[4dkellysworld]

Why clear the subconscious to realise Self

I hope this helps people who are struggling with trauma/deeply rooted wounds and are looking for a way to reconcile this with their goal of self-realisation 💕

Context:

The prime obstacle we meet in seeking this unlimited being is the subconscious mind. It is full of thoughts of limitations which propel us every day and they do so automatically. We have made these habits of subconscious thoughts so strong that even when we recognize the direction we would like to go in, the subconscious thoughts keep directing us for quite some time (sometimes lifetimes) until we finally succeed in overcoming them. We overcome them with thoughts of what we really want to do in life, and in that way we become master over the mind, controlling and eliminating the thoughts until only the thoughts we want determine our behavior. Then we’re in a position where we can do something about the mind. We can start to transcend the mind, rising above it and dropping it. In short we let it go! And when we do we find ourselves this pure, infinite, limitless, totally free Being that we naturally are. Then happiness is complete. from Session 9: Mastering Mind and Matter of Keys to the Ultimate Freedom - Lester Levenson

The following excerpt illustrates Lester Levenson's own journey to self-realisation: he actually cleared a chunk of his own subconscious thoughts first before going onto self-inquiry. This would have allowed for a much quieter mind than if he just dived into self-inquiry without it.

I began correcting all my thoughts and feelings in that direction from that of wanting to be loved, to that of loving. And in that process, I discovered another major thing that kind of shocked me. I saw that I wanted to change this entire world, and that was the cause of my ulcers — or one of the major causes. In realizing how much I wanted to change things in this world, I saw how it made me a slave of this world, I made the decision to reverse that. And in the process of following out these two directions — actually unloading all the sub-conscious concepts and pressures in those directions — I discovered I was getting happier, freer, lighter, and feeling better in general. As I saw this direction was good, I made the decision that if a slice of pie tasted this good, I wanted the whole pie. And I decided not to let go of this direction until I got that entire pie of happiness, and with it the answer to “What am I?  What is this life, and what is my relationship to it?” This decision allowed me, as I claim, to get the answer to life itself in a matter of only three months. I believe if I can do it, anyone can do it if they have that much “want to”. In that three month period, all the ailments I had in my physical body corrected. All my miseries dropped away. And I ended up in a place in which I was happy all the time, without sorrow. Not that the world stopped pushing against me —it continued — but I was at a place where I could resolve things almost immediately. Having cleared out the negative fears, all the negative “I can not’s,” I would focus right on the answer to every problem, and get it very quickly. And so, my whole life turned around from being depressed and sick, to being happy all the time, and being in perfect health all the time. from About the Author of another version of Keys to the Ultimate Freedom, also probably in his autobiography No Attachments, No Aversions

I'm not sure why some of the digital versions of Lester's Keys to The Ultimate Freedom didn't include this final session 37 because it's in a scanned copy of a 1993 version (1 year before he died). He had spoken on the importance of clearing subconscious thoughts first to quiet the mind but this was watered down in the 109 page digital version and even overlooked in Session 1 where he says it's "not necessary to dig up this unconscious mind, in fact it's much better to try to quiet the mind." (the wording was changed in other versions to highlight clearing subconscious thoughts first). Depending on the individual ego's own history of trauma, limiting/negative beliefs, tendencies, habits etc (aka samskaras in Hindu philosophy), they may or may not be able to easily quiet their mind to see their Self (the main goal) if they keep getting bombarded with thoughts they can't control despite their best efforts to disidentify/drop/ignore/meditate/control it.

I also believe this is the missing piece and answer to dealing with trauma in a practical and appropriate way on the path to self-realisation. Any good therapy also ultimately concludes with releasing & letting go so it no longer affects the person anymore; this is the true essence of healing. I've personally found a lot of benefit and peace from clearing subconscious thoughts on my own journey and Lester did this too and benefited a lot - he didn't jump straight to self-inquiry (Ramana Maharshi considered self-inquiry to be a practice for 'ripe souls' and recommended other methods for aspirants first depending on their state of mind (to clear and quiet their mind in preparation for self-inquiry)).

So we are all going through the same trip of trying to discover what is this all about, where is my happiness, and when we stop chasing after it out there and we turn inward, we discover that all these hard negative, terrible feelings are only a feeling. And that it is possible to get rid of these feelings by releasing them. All these feelings are subconscious programs — every bit of them put in as pro survival — it's not only fear, but survival. All our feelings have been programmed in to automatically keep us surviving. They keep looking out there, trying to survive, keeping our minds active subconsciously 24 hours a day, so never do we stop to think and discover what we are. So what is it that is keeping us from being in the most delectable state that there is? Simply the accumulated programs called feelings, all these negative feelings have us constantly struggling to survive, having us constantly looking away from this tremendous thing that we are, and all we need to do is quiet that mind and become self-obvious to ourselves of this tremendous being that we are. How do we do it? I say it’s simple. The Release Technique*. It happens to be the fastest, the most effective way there is to achieve this high state of being. When we are in total control of our universe, where every moment is a wonderful, wonderful moment, it is impossible to be unhappy. And I say that is our natural state when these negative feelings are released. So I urge you to learn this technique. It’s a tool, and in one week's time, there will be a big change in you for the better, and from there on, you will continue to get better and better, lighter and lighter, happier and happier. from Session 37: Release your Loving Nature - Keys to the Ultimate Freedom *The appendix describing this technique refers to a whole book called The Sedona Method (written by one of Lester's students) and it was too damn long & boring for me to read lol. (If you're interested in the book, you can download it from my Google Drive) The basic instructions is to bring subconscious thoughts to the conscious so they can be dropped: Feel all the thoughts/emotions (if any) and imagine them leaving your being, acknowledge them then consciously choose to release & let them go now so they no longer have a hold on you.

So clearing a chunk of subconscious thoughts first (not aiming for perfection, just clearing the major roadblocks - in particular the ones that keep causing intrusive/compulsive thoughts no matter how much you ignore them) will help a lot in quieting the mind and then you can more easily do the other practices such as meditate/do self-inquiry/self-surrender with a quiet mind to see & know the Infinite Being you are.

Remember that there is no "one size fits all" approach to self-realisation because everyone has different history, traumas, mental/emotional/spiritual maturity, temperament etc (this is a reminder to let your Self be your main guide & guru and do what's appropriate for your own journey, you don't have to follow any guidance/practices/teachings that don't resonate with you even if others are saying something is this way or that way). Even Ramana Maharshi acknowledged this:

When asked once by Swami Yogananda, a Swami with a large following in America, what spiritual instruction should be given to the people for their uplift, Ramana Maharshi replied: “It depends on the temperament and spiritual maturity of the individual. There can be no mass instruction.”

Obligatory disclaimer that this post does not constitute as medical advice as I am not a therapist, this is based on my own understanding of non-duality as well as my personal ego experiences both on this journey and prior to. If there are major traumas that you feel you need to release first in order to quiet the mind, I would actually recommend finding a competent and trustworthy professional to help you unless you already have experience going through therapy and know how to dig into your own subconscious and release things on your own properly (going to therapy in the past gave me the understanding and experience to do this on my own now). I emphasize on the *properly* part because if you attempt to bring up major traumas from the subconscious without knowing how to properly deal with them, it could actually cause more harm to the psyche so be careful on this please.

So I actually do think therapy and trauma healing has a place on this path to self-realisation and this is where my beliefs deviate from 4dbarbie a bit (I still agree with leaving the mind alone but again, clearing the major subconscious traumas/wounds/blockages first has been immensely beneficial and effective in quieting the mind to make it easier to let go of/disidentify from ego and abide as Self). Everything that I share on this blog are intended to be pointers, suggestions and helpful tips for people on the same journey. If you resonate with it, feel free to explore it further and if it doesn't, you can disregard it :)

[nalyra-dreaming]

IWTV s2... an (emotional) recap

Between the spoilers dropping before the last three episodes and the content of the episodes themselves we really have gone through the emotional wringer.

I think I have rewritten this three times over, because my feelings kept changing.

I had hoped for more, I got more than I wished for, I wanted something else, they hit the nerve precisely...

And now with the season 3 announcement:))))

Maximum emotional carnage - indeed.

Everything ... up to that NOLA visit in episode 8 and the actual ending... is not the truth. Let that sink in.

The trial: scripted (and Lestat breaking out of it for the important bits)

Claudia's turning: So much... more raw.

Claudia's death: brutal. That final look between her and Lestat was one of the most painful things to witness.

Her diaries (pages): mostly unused. I am a bit unnerved bc of that wasted Merrick reveal and aftermath implementation tbh. Louis is not freed up after it, but... he should have been, imho. Though, that said, with Dubai likely a stand-in for Trinity Gate... maybe the arc fits after all - BUT I still think they could have done more with her diaries. I get why they wanted to escape the “white savior trap“ but this way Louis did not get that power-up that will ultimately bring him to where it frees him. But who knows... maybe they will implement a version of it all still.

The broadcasting and Loustat's relationship in general: Armand putting a fantasy retelling into Louis' brain. Holy shit.

Flashbacks to 1790: Self-indulgent fanfiction.

Dubai: Stepford Wives via mind gift. 💀

Daniel: Supposedly(*) turned out of spite. I absolutely get why DM fans are besides themselves with this and the comments after.

The story itself: More or less ending exactly where the first book puts us. I do NOT know why they kept that title a secret, it's not hinting at anything other than that simple fact, imho. :)

So.

You know, them using the movie "Gaslight" for the poster reference makes more and more sense now, because that is how I feel a bit at least: gaslit. Just a little bit.

Because... Nice reunion that you had there... too bad it will turn out to be the contested NOLA one, I would bet real money on it. 😅

......

Sarcasm aside, this is a brilliant show. But I am NOT looking forward to another two years of bullshit accusations (by some) because they were mostly/only spelled things out in the episode insiders, and only broke things up in the last episode. Or of people confusing the meta and social commentary level with the in-universe one.

Which, by the way, I'm happy that they went there. And I am relieved that they spelled things out in the episode insiders. Truly. But as experience has shown after season ONE... implied manipulations, episode insiders and interviews, and cast/crew/writer statements don't mean jack shit to some people.

So yeah, where does this leave us?

This was a dark season. I think I'm not totally wrong when I say that most of us did not get what we wanted from it, neither DM, nor Loumand, nor Loustat. Or Claudeleine.

"Locked together in hatred" comes to mind, though "hatred" is obviously (way) too strong a word. (But that quote fits so nicely 😏🤓)

We DID get some of what we wanted. But for a show which built so heavily on other books... to follow the first book then so closely?? I don't know, it leaves me a bit unsatisfied(**). It feels as if they just shut the book, to be done with it, you know?

I still enjoyed the season, there were brilliant parts in it. But it feels... bloodless. Sexless. Empty of affection. Harrowing. Which is, of course, the point.

This... is a depressing, hinting at suicide-through-vampires note.

Which won't happen, of course.

Because here we get to (**), which is of course ™️ them announcing s3 just prior to the last episode;))) And thereby making some things clear by that fact alone :)) 🙌🙌🙌

I said it before, I expect them to revisit... again. Given that this will be in what, 1,5 to 2 years from now? Well. Hopefully still in 2025. And I hope the arc they spun over these three seasons will be done then. And we can move forward.

I do hope this show will get 10 seasons. But for the first time since it aired I wished we'd already be ahead, in season 4 or something. 😅 Because this heap of loose endings is... taxing^^. Though definitely coming very softened as a blow now with the s3 renewal that’s for sure^^

Can't wait to hear your thoughts, if you want to share them. But these are mine. For now.

I'm sure there will be a lot of details, and analysis and meta to follow, and I'm looking forward to it. 🥰🙌

S1 and s2 were a tale... I mean we knew. But I would have preferred a bit more... truth.^^

Because that Magnus‘ tower scene?! No way. The metaphorical push off the tower??? No way, sorry Rolin but if they let that stay… that’s not giving agency that’s removing Lestat‘s suffering for their weird “toxic masculinity arc“ that Sam hinted at and which was - IN THE BOOK!!! - a misjudgment of Akasha.

AND it is removing Lestat‘s suffering to give more nuance to other characters. -.-

Given Hannah‘s episode 5 comments I hope they do not make a misjudgment of his character there. The red flags are there though, especially after the recent interviews, have been ever since that DV drop, and I have people come to me via DMs now to tell me they’re leaving the fandom bc they’re scared of another GoT…. which I get.

I… still have some faith. I know Rolin tends to put his foot into his mouth at times, he is a troll, and for all her takes on ep5 Hannah also wrote other brilliant scenes.

And we have Sam and Jacob as trump cards.

I‘m determined to enjoy this - this is what we‘ll get. I waited 30 years. I won’t go anywhere. I will enjoy what they give us.

I won‘t like all their decisions. That I am aware of.

BUT I will enjoy it, going in open-eyed, nonetheless.

(*) okay that is obviously bullshit, Armand would not turn him out of spite. Which is another hint I guess. But I talked about that in asks^^ At length 😅

[floradinterlunium]

The Car Conversation Was Actually Validating !

Anyone that pays attention can see that Jungkook can spend all day with Jimin and still miss him when he isn’t near.

Anyone that pays attention can see that Jungkook’s love language is quality time. This is why he so frequently visits Jimin at night, because it’s the only time they have alone together. For Jungkook it doesn’t matter if he spends all day with Jimin if that time is spent with him and other people. This is why we get Tae saying things like “Jungkook is keeping Jimin from coming.” Or why Jikook have been coined the “All nighter friends.” Or why they will stay up ALLLL night together regardless of their busy schedules…it’s the only time they ever have alone together. 

So why do I say all this…I say this because some people struggle with not seeing the big picture...or to put it more simply they struggle with contextualizing conversations like the Car Conversation.

In the car conversation Jungkook and Jimin both implied they hadn’t spent time together due to their conflicting schedules. And we all knew this. This is what every Jikooker was shouting since their solo careers started. When Jimin was busy Jungkook was not, when Jungkook was busy, Jimin was not. This made it difficult for them to see each other. That said, we also know for a FACT that they did see each other within that time. Jungkook goes to JM’s rehearsal, Jungkook records Letter in the studio with JM, Tae and Jimin hangout with Jungkook, they have drinks together before Jins enlistment, they see each other at concerts, JM mentions discussing music over drinks with Jungkook for hours, JK mention (although disputed) JM moving his lamp, Jungkook and JM both correspond over lives together, and there are other times we can suspect Jm was over JK's. So it’s clear that they did see each other and talk during their busy schedules.

SO why did JK speak as though they never did? It goes back to what I mentioned first...Jungkook seems to quickly go through Jimin withdrawals...he often looks sad the minute Jimin is pulled away from him and simply doesn't like it.

Or sometimes JK would even cheat if it meant being near or on the same team as Jimin.

Above all else, JUngkook desires Jimin's time and attention. He wanted JM to make more of an effort to see him, which is why JM defends himself in this conversation with but "I did call you."

But, the calls and the times they did see each other weren't enough for JK. Most of the times they’d seen each other was around other people, it wasn’t quality time. Jungkook was used to seeing Jimin daily…and that daily went to once every blue moon and often with other people around. Jungkook was clearly bothered by this…the car conversation and Jungkook’s lives made this clear. Jungkook was not okay with this distance .

Jungkook in that same conversation says if it weren't for these trips they probably wouldn't have ever been able to hang…in my opinion this statement alludes to his busy work schedule and ultimately their enlistment ."We wouldn't have been able to have quality time together prior to enlistment" is the sentiment I felt. Jimin responds looking into JK's soul "that's why I came here" Neither one of them knew at this point that they were going to be able to enlist together, so in their minds if they weren't able to do these trips they would have been separated for a year and a half. So when Jungkook said “you’re here finally,” this was elation…it’s a sign that their “distance” wasn’t by choice. It was circumstance. They wanted to be together. and now that they were he was happy!

People taking this conversation to mean they aren't that close are wild... because it actually proves the opposite! They are incredibly close...so close in Jimin's own words he went to NYC and Connecticut and did this show to be spend time with Jungkook. And even Jungkook in the midst of his busy schedule did this show to spend time with Jimin. If that does not SCREEEEEAAAAAM closer than close to you . . . Than think about what he said a little deeper . .

Jimin wanted to spend time with Jungkook so he planned to travel to NYC to see him, but due to military restrictions he could only travel out of country for work, so he came up with the idea for a travel show. All to spend time with Jungkook. This can be downplayed but JM confirmed this by saying..."that's why I came here!" And what was Jungkook's response to all this... "you're finally here." Not just yay you're hear...no...you're finally here!

So if that convo got you doubting ask yourself why? We been knew they weren't hanging out as much as they were before due to work schedules,,,this convo confirmed it. We been knew JK was struggling with not having his Jimmy (don't let that laugh fool you) this convo confirmed it. We speculated this whole travel show was a ruse to spend time together...JM slick confirmed it!

[pastorfutureletthembe]

"I save the world. You save my sister."

The plot, every misson they get done, gives us a set of rules to understand the universe the characters live in, what is possible or allowed to do while diving. Contrary to the live action which offer an actual exposition (Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang's first meeting, the explanation and the mechanics of their powers), the donghua shows us all of that through subtil teaching: an action calls for a reaction.

The rules in season 1 are crafted according to the "light side" of this story (Cheng Xiaoshi, Lu Guang and Qiao Ling), therefore they are morally good. They exist to protect, respect, help people. The headline would be "Don't change anything."

Season 2 of the Donghua offers a new perspective; the dark side. There is another way after all, a way to change past and future, to resist fate. You have the power, so why woudln't you benefit from it, right?

The Live Action wasn't the best example of an adaptation well done, that's true. The rules are familiar to us and Lu Guang is way more stuck in his ways than he is in the donghua. However, his master's moral, that we could dubbed as "History as it should be", is not right nor wrong. It demands for the past to remains as it is because the present has beauty no matter the state of things. Although it ultimately is true, we do notice the flaws in this belief through the missions our shiguang team accept: time is unfair, people are sad and broken, they wasted precious time of their lives for nothing, they've been abused... BUT. They can still be better, do better, life isn't the sum of past mistakes, and those who are still standing are masters of their own fate. Future can still change because we make choices in Present too.

You can say what you want of the way the Live Action has been made, but it still is relevant in its core to the original story and characters. They understand the real point of this universe, what conclusion it wants to bring us to. Once again, it gives us new rules. One of them is familiar though: ineluctability.

CXS's character study and spoilers for LCLA 1x23 bellow:

As He Xu talks about his long lost sister, the words shape a new meaning. These words, they might as well be donghua!Lu Guang's. Billions of people could disappear as long as it means Cheng Xiaoshi is alive, because he is LG's everything, his person, the best human being in the whole world. The whole scene is a clear argument against fate/death. With such powers, why should we accept the unfair and arbitrary will of time? Why can't we chose to be happy and make our lives better?

The fact that the parallel isn't made FOR the characters/LCLA!Cheng Xiaoshi but for US, the audience, is even more heartbreaking. Because we know, and we deny, and we excuse, and we wish for the end to be a happy ending. But you all know in the depth of your heart the most important rule, no matter which character's morals applies:

"Death is a node that cannot be changed."

This being said, people often tell me how Cheng Xiaoshi would do the exact same thing than Lu Guang if he was in his situation for more than a day; he would eventually gives in and go back to save him.

I actually don't believe that myself. I think Cheng Xiaoshi would never.

Not only because Lu Guang taught him not to, but because Cheng Xiaoshi is, no matter how lonely, awkward and childish he can be, a deeply empathetic person. He loves people. And if saving someone he loves mean killing everyone else, he would not do it.

Lu Guang, with all his moral and strict guideline, fell under a genuine boy's spell and decided "fuck it, you all don't deserve him, he's better than all of you." To fuel this concept of the character, LCLA!Cheng Xiaoshi has a clear idea of what a "Time Agent" is supposed to be: a superhero. He is a good person, that's why he wants to change death nodes. He wants to save them and keep them happy. Spider-man wouldn't sacrifice the world to save Gwen Stacy, okay? He Xu spits "you don't know actual regret" to his face, and maybe he's right, but then Cheng Xiaoshi argues that he knows his role and what it is expected of him.

That's your clue right there: he wants to do the right thing by making the best of awful circonstances.

Cheng Xiaoshi untrusts Lu Guang with the most important person in his life. He knows he cannot do eveything by himself. Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi are a team, they are shiguang, and fate made them this way. He knows his role in all this, there is something only he can do. Now, Cheng Xiaoshi believes in the rightness of Lu Guang's master rules, but he cannot agree with his whole being. He does believe in one thing though.

This is not about maintaining the Past as it should be, but about the trolley dilemma: one person against MANY children's lives. Cheng Xiaoshi want to save as many people as he can. People could argue that CXS asking LG to save his sister means he wouldn't be able to make the right choice when facing this same dilemma if it involved Qiao Ling. I would strongly disagree. Of course, he hesitates each time He Xu mentions her. However, at the end of the day, he would rather sacrifice himself than anyone else, moreover if it means his sacrifice would save someone.

I would just end this meta with the possibility, no matter how small, that He Xu is right. No one knows if this universe would be destroyed once a node is changed. The consequences of that are actually unknown, and isn't there hope in this uncertainty? Isn't this small, near impossible possibility worth it in the end? But no matter the results, it's all about accountability. Perhaps the real truth about the universe's balance is this: these powers they have are both a responsability/duty to people and a chance/right to change or save Past and Future. As long as you understand your choice and the implied consequences, you're the real master of Fate.

[mirai-e-jump]

Animage January 2024 Issue Kamen Rider THE WINTER MOVIE: Gotchard & Geats Gotchard Main Cast Interviews (translations below)

Publication: December 8, 2023

Clear it! The strongest Chemy catching game!!

In order to seal the 101 Chemies released into this world onto cards, Houtarou Ichinose (Kamen Rider Gotchard) searches for Chemies every day with his friends from the Alchemy Academy. One day, he meets Ace Ukiyo (Kamen Rider Geats) fighting against some Jyamato monsters. Behind the scenes is Chemy X Wizard, a level number 10 supreme wizard.

Kamen Rider's Winter film will be released again this year, featuring a dream collaboration of Kamen Riders from different series. The main highlight includes Houtarou and other Gotchard members, and Ace and other Geats members being divided into teams to take on the ultimate Chemy catching game. It's the unique charm of this work that features the familiar search for Chemies from Gotchard, and the characteristics of Geats, where Kamen Riders do challenging games, which have been "combined!" The dialogue between the characters of Gotchard and Geats that you can't normally see on TV is a must see!

The presence of Geats Chemy, who looks exactly like Kamen Rider Geats, is also a point of interest. Centering around X Wizard and Geats Chemy, the drama between humans and Chemies, which is the real appeal of Gotchard, is depicted on a scale that only a film can provide. What will the encounter with the new Chemy and Ace and his group bring to Houtarou and his friends?

Junsei Motojima (Houtarou) x Reiyo Matsumoto (Rinne) Fujibayashi Yasunari (Spanner) x Abe Oto (Renge) Rikiya Tomizono (Sabimaru) x Kumaki Rikuto (Minato)

"Double" the expected chemistry!

-Is Spanner, a mood maker, the complete opposite of the person playing the role?-

"The first quarter has passed since the broadcast started, what has the response been?"

Motojima: I feel that the number of messages of support have gradually increased. At talk events, there were those who would say to me, "I'm cheering for you," and those who brought support fans (uchiwa), and I think I'm starting to actually realize it myself. It makes me incredibly happy.

Matsumoto: I have the feeling that I'm gradually getting used to being on set. I'm now trying to expand my range of acting by taking on new challenges every day, and reviewing my own performance to see how I can improve it.

Fujibayashi: As the story progresses, there'll be more scenes that delve deeper into each character's individuality. My desire to see the stories we've filmed, including this film, as soon as possible has become stronger since the broadcast started.

Abe: Up until now, I haven't appeared regularly in dramas, so I was really happy, and when I heard a kid next to me on the train talking about Gotchard, I thought, "What a great response!"

Fujibayashi: Did they realize that you were Renge?

Abe: I don't think they noticed (laughs). I'll do my best to get them to notice!

Tomizono: At first, when I played the role I thought, "Who is Sabimaru…" But, as he interacts with Houtarou and the others, I gradually felt that I was building up my own image of Sabimaru's character. I'd like to carefully build up Sabimaru's growth in the future, and I want to do my best to make tablets more popular (laughs).

Kumaki: It seems that there are events at kindergartens and other places where they hand out Gotchard cards, and my friends send me pictures of their children receiving the cards. When I see this, I realize that I'm creating these children's dreams, and that joy is my driving force.

"For the photo shoot, we got the impression that Fujibayashi-san was at the center, and that everyone else had a relaxed mood, but is Fujibayashi-san also "in charge" of things on set?"

Fujibayashi: No, I don't think that's the case.

Tomizono: He's got so much energy, and I feel like he raises everyone's spirits.

Abe: That's for sure!

Motojima: Even when we greet each other at 5 a.m., I can't believe how energetic he is.

Kumaki: It's so early in the morning that everyone else isn't fully awake yet.

Fujibayashi: Lately, I've been paying attention to everyone's mood and greeting them in a calmer manner.

Everyone: (laughs).

Kumaki: You've become an adult, huh?

Fujibayashi: I've become an adult (laughs).

Motojima: But, when we're filming early in the morning, having Yasu-kun (Fujibayashi) around makes me feel more energetic.

-Appearing together with Geats, filming was peaceful from start to finish-

"In this work, Houtarou and his friends split into teams together with the members of Kamen Rider Geats to take on the ultimate Chemy catching game."

Motojima: It's interesting that we're teamed up with those who have similar personalities. Houtarou and Tycoon, Rinne and Geats, Spanner and Buffa. I think that because of our similarities, we can relate to each other, and there's some good "chemical reactions."

Matsumoto: I've been working with Kan Hideyoshi-san for a long time, and I was trying to take in things from Kan-san's acting that I could apply to Rinne. Also, Houtarou falling into a trap so fast was so funny, that I laughed during the test takes (laugh).

Motojima: When I read the script, I thought to myself, "That's just like Houtarou….." (laughs). I thought it was charming because he has a childlike quality that's different from the Houtarou in the TV show.

Abe: When we were filming, I remember that it was very windy (laughs).

Tomizono: The sandy beach scene of our capture game was the first scene filmed of the movie. The wind was strong and it was raining quite abit. Furthermore, Na-Go Chemy gets covered in seaweed (laughs).

Abe: That's right (laughs). I feel like alot of the scenes with Na-Go Chemy were filmed with lots of imagination.

Tomizono: There was also something about jet planes. It was fun to film.

Abe: We were the imagination team (laughs).

Fujibayashi: In that sense, Buffa Chemy and I were both part of the imagination solo team.

Tomizono: I guess so (laughs).

Fujibayashi: Both Spanner and Buffa's theme color is purple, and they also have slightly stuck up personalities, so when the film was announced, there were many people on SNS who were looking forward to us appearing together. The interactions between the two of them are very interesting, so I hope you'll look forward to it.

"In a scene with Kugimiya Licht, Minato was depicted in his teacher's attaire."

Kumaki: I remember well the first time I greeted Motomiya Yasukaze-san, who plays Licht. Despite him being about 4-5 meters away (13-16 ft), I felt an overwhelming aura that made me feel like he was right in front of me.

Everyone: (laughs)

Kumaki: I was alittle nervous (laughs), but once I gathered up my courage and greeted him, he was very kind to me. I felt a sense of security all at once, and performed with the intention of receiving advice from my senior.

"What's your most memorable experience working with the Geats team?"

Abe: There was a part where I could feel the experience of working on a project for a year. In a scene where a drone is used, Mokudai Kazuto-san noticed a mark (for where to stand) and asked the staff, "Is this okay?" We weren't paying attention to it, so it's amazing that he noticed it instantly and acted accordingly.

Tomizono: We'd never met before, but they created an atmosphere where we felt comfortable talking to them and had alot of fun. During breaks, we'd play games where you have to hold back your laughter. Kan-kun is also from the Kansai region, so we got along really well, and were able to film in a really friendly atmosphere.

Matsumoto: Everyone was very kind, and I remember that they talked to us alot.

Abe: It was easy to talk to them.

Fujibayashi: The two of you had a girls night out with Tsumuri (Aoshima Kokoro) and Neon (Hoshino Yuna).

Matsumoto: That's right.

Abe: We had some girl talk.

Tomizono: I'm sure you did.

Fujibayashi: What did you talk about?

Matsumoto: Things like painting nails, perfume and other stuff.

Motojima: To be honest, I've been paying alot of attention to my appearance lately, and I've been asking Matsumoto-san and Abe-san alot of questions.

Matsumoto: It's true

Motojima: When Tsumuri-san heard about this, she set up a prank for the makeup artists to teach me fake beauty info. I was completely fooled.

Everyone: (laughs).

Motojima: I also felt that everyone from Geats did things very freely. They included adlibs, and there's a scene where Ace says, "I'm glad I was turned into this," but it was interesting to see Ace say things in a way that he'd never do during test takes. I thought he was very good at keeping the atmosphere on set peaceful.

Tomizono: But, when it was a real take, it was really cool.

Motojima: That's right! There was an incredible difference.

-Becoming a level ... Chemy?!-

"In this work, the Geats members are turned into Chemies, but if you could become a Chemy, what would you want to look like?"

Fujibayashi: Because It's obvious what I'd be, I probably don't need to say it.

Motojima: What do you mean?

Fujibayashi: I could only be a spanner.

Matsumoto: Ah!

Tomizono: If not a spanner, what Chemy would Yasu become instead?

Fujibayashi: None, I can't think of anything else.

Tomizono: You've become Spanner Chemy. What do you do?

Fujibayashi: Loosen the screws in people's heads.

Everyone: (laughs).

Fujibayashi: Everyone becomes so stupid, that they forget how to transform and can no longer speak Japanese.

Abe: That's terrible (laughs). That'd make you the strongest, wouldn't it?

Tomizono: What'll happen if you combine with another Chemy?

Fujibayashi: Valvarad uses it, not Gotchard.

Tomizono: I see.

Fujibayashi: Sabimaru would be a tablet, right?

Tomizono: (laughs). As Tomizono, I'd like a Chemy that's really cool. Like a dragon, but softer.

Fujibayashi: Like something you'd find on a souvenir from a school field trip?

Tomizono: Right, like something on a keychain.

Fujibayashi: I think children would love that.

Tomizono: That's good. I want to appear like that as a level 10 Chemy.

Motojima: I want to become a level 100 Chemy.

Everyone: (laughs).

Motojima: I want to be treated like a legend.

Matsumoto: What would I be? Maybe a bird?

Abe: Ah!

Tomizono: Is that what you wanted?

Abe: I've been beat.

Fujibayashi: But, it depends on the type of bird.

Matsumoto: Hmmm…a crow?

Fujibayashi: A crow, huh? I'd like to own one atleast once.

Tomizono: People say they're smart.

Abe: They're said to have the intelligence of 5 year olds.

Fujibayashi: Well then, they're smarter than me.

Everyone: (laughs).

Tomizono: Is there a reason why you went with a bird?

Matsumoto: I think it'd be nice to fly across the open sky. The wind would feel great too.

Abe: You get it!

Matsumoto: And crows are cool, aren't they? That's why I want to be Crow Chemy.

Fujibayashi: Oto-chan, what kind of bird would you like to be?

Abe: I want to be a black kite.

Tomizono: A black kite?

Abe: When I was little, I remember them because they used to attack me alot when I went camping. When I’d be eating a meal, they'd suddenly snatch it away. They're agile, can fly, and they can enjoy scenery that we can't normally see.

Fujibayashi: I want to steal someone's food.

Abe: Right, right.

Tomizono: Really? (laughs).

Abe: I think black kite's are the strongest.

Fujibayashi: What about Kuma-san?

Kumaki: Because of Bumblebee, I like cars.

Fujibayashi: Ah, from "Transformers."

Kumaki: I think it would be cute if I were a Chemy that looked like Bumblebee.

Tomizono: Would you be a transforming Chemy?

Kumaki: Yeah, I'd transform.

Motojima: I think that'll be in the show sooner or later.

Kumaki: When will it appear?

Fujibayashi: It'd be alot like Golddash.

Kumaki: Ah! That's right!

Motojima: Then, it'll be like a car version of Golddash!

"We would love to hear more, but we'd like to conclude with a message from Motojima-san to our readers on behalf of everyone."

Motojima: I think the highlight is that the character's charm, which is different from the TV show, is brought out by interacting with the Kamen Rider Geats members. Many of the strongest level number 10 Chemies appear, and the development where humans turn into Chemies is also unexpected, it's unexpected plus unexpected twice expected…….it's like unexpected x2.

Tomizono: So double expected?

Fujibayashi: Are you saying…it's going to turn out to be more than expected?

Motojima: Ah, that sounds good.

Fujibayashi: You just said it yourself. You bite your tongue?

Tomizono: Did you mispronounce something?

Motojima: Well uh, it turned out to be more than I expected…

Everyone: (laughs).

Motojima: The unpredictable development of the story is appealing, and the fact that it features Chemies that can talk is also a key point.

Abe: Agreed.

Motojima: Please watch out for how Houtarou and his friends will interact with the talking Chemies, which have yet to appear in the TV show!

[twig-tea]

Only Friend Finale Reaction

I want to write this down now because I suspect my feelings on this will change over time. In this moment, immediately post-finale, I am satisfied. I feel happy. I am glad this show got made, and that I watched it.

Only Friends was billed as the messy gays show. I went in expecting something close to Friend Zone but with more gays, and that's what we got. Not a Warped Effect with explicit morals and lessons about sex, consent, sexualities, kinks, etc., not a GayOK Bangkok which is grounded in realism.

And because this was Jojo and Ninew and Den and Best, it's still more realistically queer than any GMMTV BL to date, and there were some absolutely stellar moments that stand alone as moving, and powerful, and beautiful, and genre-changing. And so near the beginning of the show airing, I raised my expectations; maybe this show was going to do more.

But was clear by the penultimate episode that it wasn't. I wrestled a lot on here with my need for this show to be the one that finally broke up the mixed pair expectations, and let sluts be sluts, and finally showed a threesome, and maybe even gave us consensual non-monogamy. It didn't go that far in any of those realms, but it took a step closer on many of them, and considering where BL has been to date that's still pretty huge for GMMTV, and I don't want to lose sight of that or judge it for what I wanted it to be instead of what it ultimately was.

The other thing I wrestled with a lot in this show was what other people were seeing in it, and my frustration that people were taking away moral lessons that the show wasn't giving. I think I was successful in that I watched this finale with satisfaction for what I was getting, even though I know a lot of people won't see what I saw (and btw I'm not even claiming that what I saw was what the creators intended! I am not claiming superiority here, just bias lol). So I watched this finale deciding to take what I wanted from it, rather than what I thought it was actually trying to say, and for that reason I enjoyed the hell out of it.

So. Here are my takeaways from the Only Friends finale:

We got a three-way kiss, even if it didn't lead to a threesome, after teasing us all series that was still satisfying and we got it as part of a branded pair in a GMMTV show. It was fun, and messy, and I loved it. I appreciate that it was also...maybe necessary is too far lol but it was actually in service to the plot--we all knew Sand still had feelings for Boeing, or else he would not have still been so mad at Top that he was willing to use Nick and Ray to get his revenge. Not every emotional loose end needs to be resolved with kissing, but it was kind of fun that they tried (and I also really appreciated that it didn't work lol).

I loved that Mew and Ray talking as friends got them to compare notes on and eventually team up to take down Boeing. Their friendship really is the backbone of this series, and I'm glad it survived everything. Mew is so relieved to have someone else taking care of Ray because he never wanted that role and wasn't good at it, but he does care about his friend's happiness and is more than happy to step in when there's drama. I appreciate that he made really clear to Sand that his feelings for Ray are platonic, in the bar, that's the first time I've really seen him be truly supportive of Ray, and it was nice to see.

The Mew and Top scenes were fascinating. I think this is where I'm going to differ from the bulk of the audience and I've made peace with that. I do not find stories like theirs romantic--where both partners need to be in control and play games to stay in control the whole time--so for me, the fact that these power struggles were still present in all of their scenes satisfied my desire to see them stay together, happy but on edge. So. That scene with Mew and Top in which Mew agrees to live with Top but then asks him to apologize to Sand right afterwards; I read that as pretty manipulative on Mew's part, and Top's uncomfortable face at the end means that he felt it too. Maybe I wasn't supposed to read it that way, but that's why it worked for me. The ring, too, "now or never", it's not a promise of forever, it's a promise of the present [such a strong ephemerality statement]. The conversation in the bath in which they outline their needs and identify that they have contrasting needs, and say "I'll work on it / we'll deal with it when it comes" is exactly what I was expecting of this relationship. They're not perfect for each other, and they're going to continue to push one another. Right now they're agreeing to try, without a guarantee that it will work. Talking about their needs is good, but we don't actually see them trying, so it didn't hit as romantic as it would otherwise for me either. And Mew daring Sand to kiss Top in order to get them to be chill was such a Mew power move I loved it. He asked Top to apologize to Sand, and then forced them to be in close proximity before getting confirmation that Top was ready. Top apologizing to Sand in that last second before they kissed was him clinging for power while Sand was hovering over him, and it was a perfect Top volley. Constant power struggle, that's how I read these two. Mew teasing Top with whether or not he's slept with anyone else was so interesting considering their history around that--I was probably supposed to see it as growth in their relationship that they can joke about it? Or maybe they were trying to undo some of the sexual morality nonsense that made its way into this show by pointing out that actually it doesn't matter if Mew had been with anyone before? But what I saw was Mew still struggling to have a power foothold over Top now that he's moved in. I will admit the fire scene, at first, I was so confused by. Were we supposed to be moved by Top getting past his trauma? What was that scene even about? I think, in the context of Mew's struggle with his place in Top's life, and his power in this relationship, it was about Mew understanding the invisible support he provides for Top, and why he's important to Top. Mew watched Top be competent and collected in the face of a triggering event, and was impressed at how Top had it all together, but Top credits Mew's presence for that. I think it helped Mew start to actually see a future with Top, because he understands his place in it a bit better. Even if he feels like he's not doing enough, Top sees his presence as strength, so maybe he doesn't need to worry quite so much about keeping score. But that's honestly me reaching, I struggled with that scene and think it was the weakest in the finale [and @lurkingshan I read your post and could believe that your read is true, that it was there to prove Top did have trauma].

Can I tell you how much I love how this show ended, with Mix's character smiling at Mew, and Top's nervous look? Because I think we've wrestled with Mew's confidence in this relationship for the whole show, but it's clear Top still feels unsettled/uncertain in this relationship and I love that we ended with him feeling threatened. This for me was the perfect ending for this couple, and what I've wanted as their ending all along--they're happy right now, they know there are potential bumps on the road in their future, and they're not certain they'll make it through, but they're willing to try--but the threats are real, and present, and not going to be easy because this relationship is not solid.

I also really appreciated what was happening with Boston and Nick, even though I wish it would have been more explicit or done better; what we got was still better than I expected from a GMMTV show. I loved Boston dissuading Nick from following him, and finding the romantic asks to be too many/too much, and having a different definition of "boyfriend" (but not different enough to not like to Nick's face about where you were, Boston, I see you). I love that Nick didn't get mad at Boston for "cheating", understood what Boston was offering for what it was; I also really loved Sand's advice to Nick that just because what's on offer is laid out honestly and fairly, that that means he has to accept it if it's not what he wants. I didn't love Boston trying to backtrack when Nick decided not to take him up on it; but I did love Nick's response, telling Boston to own who he is rather than trying to be someone he's not.

I think this is where my attempts the last couple of weeks to let go of what people will take from this show has helped, because yeah, you can see this as the narrative punishing Boston for being a slut, but this has never been a morality play, and so I'm taking from it how I see it. And I see it as Boston getting a clean slate with a bit more perspective going to New York. What I would say to Boston if he were my friend: This friend group was a mess and they always judged Boston for his sex life more than was deserved; they also violated his privacy by passing around his sex audio and never apologized for it. Boston also didn't take their feelings into consideration when he decided who to have sex with, and he messed with their relationships which was not being a good friend either. Does he actually want them back, or is he just feeling lonely? My hope for him is that he takes what he's learned about other people's feelings--that not everyone sees the world he does, and he has to understand that people will be hurt by different things whether or not they would hurt him, if he wants to retain relationships of any kind including friendships, and decide whether or not they're worth making concessions for before hurting them so that he doesn't lose people he doesn't want to--and finds folks who fit better with his worldview and morals, and then is better able to keep them in his life. But also these people are hypocrites, and he should not take their opinion as a statement of fact about his worth. He didn't do anything worse to them than they did to him or each other.

I know a lot of people are going to see this storyline as a punish the slut story. I was wrestling with this two episodes ago, maybe that's why I'm willing to be chill about this now. I was hoping we'd get Boston as a reason to discuss consensual non-monogamy in a GMMTV show, but I am actually ok with Nick saying listen, I need to be honest about what I want and it's not that, and Boston you shouldn't be trying to give me what I want because that's not going to make you happy either. Boston being alone isn't a sad ending; to me it's the ending he was expecting and aiming for this whole time. The only difference is he's surprised by how he feels about it now that he's in it, and he's panicking a bit. Boston was not just a slut, he was a slut who didn't care about who he hurt; it's that latter piece that he's wrestling with in this finale, and I love that Nick told him he didn't have to stop being a slut to stop being an asshole. Honestly, he'll get to New York and be fine, I really think so. And I took the Nick/Boston goodbye conversation as Nick saying "I love you as you are, a slut, and it's ok to be that. Go be a happy slut!" Do I wish he'd said that more explicitly so that people would understand that? Yes. But I've given up on that.

Cheum not going with the group to the fireworks was so interesting in the context of our conversations about Cheum over the past couple of days. I took this to be the show acknowledging explicitly that she's not actually a part of the core friend group; she schemes to keep the group together (unsuccessfully), and we don't ever get a sense of why she cares so much about that--maybe it's guilt for helping push out Boston for something he didn't do, maybe she needs the security of the group she's got, we never get that insight and I'm still a bit sad about that. But she's not there for the big fireworks finale, so we're at least clear that the show never intended her to be a Main Character. And I was so happy we got her saying her plan worked in the pool. Maybe that still won't be enough to convince the audience that she's an unreliable narrator, but it was satisfying for me! Also loved her unwrapping the photo from Boston and the group's uncomfortable reaction to it. Maybe Chuem's going to keep pushing that they reconcile; maybe she's just delusional about how well her plan worked. Either way, the tension was fun. I didn't get the full resolution of her character that I wanted, but the show nodding explicitly to the fact that she keeps herself apart from the main group so I shouldn't expect it was helpful to me getting over that. And we got a kiss! And another tiny insight into their relationship; again not enough to go on, but i did think it really interesting that the two things we know about April and Cheum are: April appreciates Cheum's positive energy, and April has asked Cheum to be more honest and not just positive for the sake of being positive (about her films). So I'm reading this as that these two are just as messy and as likely to continue to have problems as the rest of the group.

Ending in Sand and Ray because I think this is the least ambiguous; I appreciated that Sand started doing what Sand always does and saying "yeah I"ll sacrifice all of my sources of income for you no problem" (WHAT) and Ray waiting until they're alone again to say "actually that's ridiculous don't do that". I appreciated that Sand's new year plans were all about Ray because he hasn't had anything push him into actually being more selfish, and the resolution with Boeing was done for him so he didn't have to set boundaries after all (called that one), so he's had zero character growth, actually. I appreciate that Ray pushes him to try to be a little selfish, that's the best sign that Ray is finally actually caring about Sand's needs, and that their relationship might work, that I've seen the whole series. I'm taking it with a massive grain of salt, because the plan is for Ray to constantly expose himself to alcohol and partying. I think this is set up to be just as tenuous as the Mew/Top relationship, but it reads a bit more lovey-dovey because they're in a less problematic place at the moment (where they have just resolved one of their insecurities so they're more confident in one another--but it's not clear how long that will last, especially with the threat of Sand's self-sacrifice and Ray's fierce boundary-violating in the face of any threat looming in the background unresolved). Sand expressing his uncertainty around his role in the Hostel was also perfect, because he is an outsider in this project and doesn't have a role, and it's a perfect point for tension in the future between them.

Even the way Yo warns the group of friends in the very last scene that they're going to have to be better to one another and less dramatic in the future if they want this hostel to last felt ominous to me rather than preachy; have this group learned enough to make this business work? That definitely remains to be seen.

Nobody should be watching Only Friends with the idea that it's going to give them any kind of lesson about what to do; at best it's a list of what not to do's lol. None of these characters are perfect, they're all incredibly flawed, and young. So their choices, including whether or not to stay together, whether or not to stay friends, whether or not to stay in business, should not be read as a moral judgment by the showrunners. I definitely agree that this could have been more effective as a message if folks weren't happy at the end. But I've given up on it needing to be effective for everyone; they stayed in character to me, and it was effective for me.

I recognized so much of my friends and my youth in this series, and I am so grateful to have gotten to see that portrayed in a show that felt like a rollercoaster while I was watching it; I literally screamed aloud, I cheered, I laughed, I applauded. This show had characters casually snort coke, hook up, flirt with their exes, kiss their friends, make mistakes, forgive one another heinous shit, be mean, kiss outside their branded pairs, and in some cases let one another go.

There are a LOT of ways this show could have been better. It was close, so close in some cases, to being amazing, and it's fallen short in a lot of ways. It could have been a subversive and compelling narrative about slut shaming and the toxicity of fandom branded pairs. Instead, it was just a show about flawed people being flawed. But I had fun, and I'm not taking away from this show that any of these characters were in the right, or that sluts are bad, or need to change--whether it was the intended message, I've given up on that because I legitimately can't tell and if it is the message, I don't want to know. I don't think it overromanticized these flawed characters, but I can see how folks could see it that way. I'm choosing to remember that these characters have all been flawed and shown to be flawed throughout the show, and notice the ways in which they are still flawed, and the hints that things will stay messy. Maybe this is a bit like those experiments in which they found the way people in incarceration watch Die Hard very differently from how other people do or how it was intended LOL maybe I'm working too hard to justify what was just bad writing and gross moral judgments and toxic relationships being portrayed as romantic. But it didn't land that way for me, so I'm going to celebrate that and enjoy the feelings this show gave me.