#if u dont get it let me know please

[funkbun]

i think it's funny how floofy n beffica are leading that Evil Grumpuses poll cause to me they're two completely different levels of "Shitty Person" lol

they're like this to me

[osaka-lilac]

can you recommend any good lance posts or fic to read?

oh. oh. oh boy do i have some fic recs for YOU

if anyone who sees this has other recommendations, please feel free to respond in the tags or in the replies! hope you enjoy - and welcome to lance nation!!!!

(i will try to keep it not just a strollonso fic rec list, yes they're my main but i don't want to give a biased list to the masses. this is a lance fic list, not just strollonso.)

so. without further ado...

allie's lance fic recs (in no particular order)

steak and other strange situations | lance/yuki | G | @lil-shiro

-> bet you didn't expect a rare pair ship as my first recommendation, huh? frankly i love the characterization that ann has utilized here - just a guy that wants to get to know people. simple yet effective!

gone before sunrise | lance/fernando | E | zeolyte

-> oogh this one is a real kicker. i couldn't tell you why my stomach churns while reading the middle of this piece. you can really feel for lance in this one and yes it does end happy (as most if not all of the fics in here will have in common with), but if you are okay with explicit material, this is a must read.

baby hotline (please hold me close to you) | lance/esteban/mick | T | @shovson

-> woohoo my ot3!!!! we dont get to see a lot of this pairing per se, but we get a lot of seb & lance running the iconic baby hotline, an advice service lance starts to help others with anything they need, like mick and estie once did for him. lovely cameos from multiple drivers.

press enter and send it | lance/esteban | E | gothic_sevgilim

-> HOO BABY is this one HOT. office au in which lance is the sassy trainee of esteban, a minor manager at lance's father's company. the tension in here is NUTS man

between your collar and your jaw | lance/sebastian | E | @hurricane-heatt

-> if you know me you know how much i fuck with cowboys. THEN you should by association know that i would never pass up a cowboy au. THIS is what a cowboy au should look like. passionate, yet leaves you in a cloud of dust by the side of the dirt road, knowing you'll never see this man and his steed again.

clerestory | pierre/charles with a side of lance/fernando | E | @nobrakesdown

-> woah. i thought this was a lance fic list?? this is our wildcard for the list. lance only appears in this fic as a historical figure in the wild royal mystery pierre is studying as he heals from an injury after a major crash. frankly i just wanted to add this one because it genuinely is one of my favorite fics on the site and since it vaguely has lance in it, i will be including it

never too soon | lance/george | G | @userkritaaay

-> stressed unstoppable force george meets relaxed immovable object lance. this is just lance and george suffering together after singapore 2023. delightful

you're my fucking hero: the critic's review | lance/fernando | M | me. i wrote this

-> finally, who would i be on this site without a bit of self promo. the love labor of @no00000000's wonderful dirtbag au, in which lance learns to live and pursue his own passions after a run in with a rough criminal, fernando. it is formatted as a movie review for a hypothetical movie, inspired by the essays i would write while in my history of film course years ago.

[crescentfool]

ryomina for the splatoon plaza! they are listening to music ☺💗

[skitskatdacat63]

I would commit murder to see the interview these pictures are from

[omgcatboi]

I don't often post my non kink related art but I'm tryna get the attention of someone else in the community and am too shy and cringe to reach out so. Here, have this portrait I did of Hanzo Shimada. With my finger. On ibis paint. This took me four hours. Progress for proof below.

[chimerahyperfix]

CW: Graphic depictions of violence, lots of Death and Gore, Psychological horror for like 3 lines, mentions of drowning. Please read the tags and take caution. This one's more than a little visceral.

-----

The King is here.

You walk through crowded halls of rushing Housemaidens getting into defensive positioning. It's like fighting a wave in the ocean, hard to push through the crowd. You make do anyways, curling through paths you normally wouldn't take.

It's a big deal to everyone but you, at this point. This is the big event, the big fight; to you it's simply where time loops back. Just another day, y'know? You've done it over and over, and you'll probably keep doing it anyways.

It's odd, pushing through the crowd. Everyone is going one way and you are going another. Rushing versus strolling. Your hands are in the pockets of your lab coat. You're practically whistling, for crab's sake!

You simply cannot be bothered this loop. It's a failure from the start: you crabbed up making the bomb, which means you're crabbed from the very beginning. You climbed up the Favor Tree and wedged yourself between the braches for a few hours to pass the time, because looping back would be too much of an inconvenience, and you could just wait until the tears started spawning in the house to go back. The birds had a good time at least, one starting to craft a nest next to you.

You ghosted throughout the day, and now its go time. Everyone else is prepared and ready to fight for time itself, and here you are just. Walking. Realistically you're searching for a tear to stop it all before it starts, but luck isn't on your side this loop.

You can hear it, hear it-- the horrors. All the screams of those unfortunate enough to cross the King's path and fight back. It would be easier, for them, to just bow back and let themselves be frozen-- but no one wants to be frozen, because that's having choice itself stolen from you, a cage of ice to lock yourself in forever. It's just as bad as being dead. Stagnant and eternally screaming.

So they march to their deaths.

The King does not take kindly to the Housemaidens fighting back. Some loops, the House isn't prepared for his attack. Those loops are the nice ones, the less gorey ones. Less dead and more frozen bodies, because no one was prepared to brawl with the monster. He can just... swoop on through and take the House without more than a handful of casualties. This loop is one of the bad ones, because your fellow housemaidens were all prepared. You always think your prepared, too, to see the outcome, but you never truly are.

You turn into the main hall, and freeze still.

No matter how many loops you go through, the carnage always gets to you. There's a nasty, overpowering smell of iron in the air and big dark stains painting the walls, the floors and the roof. Bits and pieces of mashed guts and viscera. There were people in this hallway, once.

Not anymore.

It makes you sick to your stomach like every other time. Just the thought of it. There were people here and now there's only parts of them left. Just ten minutes ago or so, there were people here.

There were people here.

The gore goes in a trail down the hall. Paints practically everything-- including frozen people, if you look down the hall. All frozen with shock and absolute horror on their faces. You recognize some of them.

You try not to think about it.

You push on. Try to ignore the way the blood seeps into your shoes very fabric so they become damp. Try to ignore the fact you're trailing someone's very life behind you now with bloody shoe prints.

There are still no tears.

Plan B, then. The King himself.

You hate going against the King. It always ends terribly with you in agony. But that's the only option left right now, so you chase him down on his little path carved from the blood of the innocent. You find him quickly, too- just down the hall.

He stops before you can get too close. The smell in the air is overpowering, the sharp tang of blood and the burning sensation of the sugar.

"Burning one." He says to you. You're not sure where he pulled that one from: the nickname was something different at some point, but you've long forgotten what it was. Maybe it's the smell of burnt, rotting sugar or maybe it's the potions that burnt your throat. You're not sure anymore.

He just... stands there. Turns around and looks at you. You can feel the dead expression you're pulling as you stare back. Blood glints on his armor, shining and the worst sight in the world and all the same kinda beautiful in its own way? Like the lightless gore is the night sky itself, sparkling with little dots. Makes you feel sick just thinking that.

"How have you done it?" He asks. He asks it every time the two of you face off, the same five words. How. A inquiry. Something you have done, you shouldn't have, and he knows it.

You... think you've gotten it, now. Your hypothesis: How you wished. It's not something you were supposed to do. You did something different something WRONG, and it did something to time itself, tearing a hole in the fabric of space. It's wrong. It's wrong, and you know it and so does the King.

He stares in your direction. You think? Despite his hands, blood-stained as they are, not being infront of his face, the mop of hair is still in the way. You can feel the glare still. Enraged. Daggers in your side.

"I don't know." It's the truth.

"You don't know?"

"I don't remember."

The King goes silent. It's odd, having an actual conversation with him. Even if it was a tiny exchange, it still throws you off. He's willing to talk, even if just a question. He's never really talked to you-- or anyone, to your knowledge-- before.

"Ouuuuhhhh... of course you don't." He wails. It sounds like nails on a chalkboard to you. "You shouldn't have been able too, oohhh... not at all..."

He raises a fist up. It sparkles like the night sky, dark dripping from between his fingers. There's still someone's remains painted on them. Preemptively you brace and throw your arms up in an attempt to block.

It's a different thing that hits you. A new attack. A giant open palm slams into your chest, and you go flying backwards into the wall. The world turns to slow motion as something in you SNAPS. Crunches. Your bones shatter and explode with the force and speed, shooting little shards of agony everywhere.

It hurts. It HURTS. Pain rips through your entire body, and you realise you've started to scream when your chest begins to hurt. Blood splatters onto your glasses, blotting out your vision.

You look up at the King. How'd you get on the floor? How are you breathing, with no lungs? You can see fragments of bone stuck between the metal of his armor.

"Let this be a lesson to you, Burning one."

Metal clinks, and your vision swims-- dots in the corners, figures blur. Blood drips down into your left eye and paints half of your vision a dark shade. Nothing but pain.

Make it stop. Make it stop, make it stop make it stop-- it hurts, it hurts it hurts it hurts.

You

Simply stop thinking. Just for a moment.

So your brain can catch up! Yeah, sure. That's a good enough excuse.

Just. Pain. You are pain incarnate, and that's all you will be until you die slowly and loop back.

You

Blink,, and

The King. Is gone. You can hear him leaving, loud stomping footsteps dissapearing down a bloodstained trail, and you just stare.

How lucky, HOW LUCKY of you to be left alive this time. Like this isn't a fate worse than death. You gasp for air, and realise all you have left is blood filling your lungs.

It hurts. You want it to end, now. It's hard to see, over the blood and spots dancing across your eyes, but you see them; tears, floating around you. A quick out. You reach out, and the pain in you flares alive, ripping and tearing you apart. You feel like your flesh is going to peel off.

Your fingers brush into one of the tears, and you sob as the ice rolls down your arm and consumes you. It feels a hundred times better than what you were feeling before.

You freeze in time-- and luckily theres no nightmare you have to endure, you just wake back up at your desk. You spend a good chunk of the morning curled up in the bathroom getting sick, because, wow! That's the worst one yet! It's curled into your very being, the feeling of breaking your bones like rock candy, the feeling of drowning in blood.

You just... have to do it better this time, or... something. Hope is fading away into background static. You can't... do this anymore. It hurts too much. You want it to stop. Please make it stop.

[pigeonxp]

the buddie playlist, pigeonxp edition.

for a smidge of context, some of the songs are not specifically buddie coded to me. some of the songs can be considered specifically eddie or specifically buck coded, such as My Kink is Karma, which i (in the context of this playlist) consider eddie specific. there are a few like this but the majority is buddie specific.

as another mention, this is my opinion only, hence the title. i am open to suggestions to this playlist and it is always ready to be added to.

[niklenakle]

Hiiiiiii........ alt version under read more CW:suicidal imagery

Ignore how dog shit the font choice is. Thanks. And how dumb just the word hang looks here even if it works contextually. Whatever

[torchvic]

guys help how do i get to lesson 41 really fast no glue no borax

[neolxzr]

and everybody is so trolled

(8 now)

[lemongogo]

wyll ravengard the man tht u are. 🫶

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[feminurge]

sometimes i lurk on the 'for you' part of dumblr and i just saw a non-moot's post saying sorry for all the people waiting for them to reply. guess what number was apparently So Much they had to make a public apology

[termagax]

re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.

[untimelyambition]

i am begging on my hands and knees for jon matteson and bryce charles to sing a song together. since i first watched npmd, every single day without fail i have thought about their harmonies together in hatchet town (��if he gets me next i could be three” and “fits the bill, he fits the bill”) literally the sickest harmonies in the entire show, i turn into a little gremlin every time i hear them. their voices sound SO good together it actually makes me a little ill. my favourite song my favourite line my favourite harmonies, their voices blend perfectly and i am so desperate to hear them sing a duet to hear them singing together again pls pls please pls pls pls. pls.

[coronangelic1]

thankful of not being from the usa scared shitless of the fact that if something goes wrong over there it will fuck other countries (including mine)