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#if this works i think ill actually explode
fernsnailz · 2 months
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ignore uncle ben down there
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toytulini · 5 months
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the challenge of i should commission art of my ocs. would love to commission like, siiyr or bokrae, maybe krachyn or jula. siiyr or bokrae would make the most sense, maybe krachyn. i think theyre the ones with the most detailed notes on their anatomy
but also
oh god i cannot subject another artist to the anatomical war crimes i committed in making these ocs
#toy txt post#ig id be best off commissioning someone w a lot experience w like. centaurs. let alone commisioning them actually doing anything#interesting. the good bad news is ai cant do it either. fucking i cant even do it. why did i make these bitches. i gave bokrae a gf#but shes not. she cant even. her lips dont really do a kiss shape shes all teeth#siiyr has too many fucking elbows and a weird skull situation#bokraes skull continues to break my brain. i think it does break physics in universe. birdie did weird shit w that eye#its constantly trying to explode#the art ideas i have for bokrae and siiyr have plagued me for years even now in my depression funk of no new ideas#i cant bring myself to subject other artists to them?????#i should specify Bokrae's teeth more tho probably. i used to jokingly explain it away as she has all the teeth/they change#and. they do. canonically birdie has to replace all of her bones over time especially her skull. but also#that was me being lazyyyyyyyyyyyy#idk i know you dont necessarily need like a super detailed ref sheet to commission things but like. if i was commissioning my own ocs id#want that probably?#maybe i will try to draw the girls today. probably not doing anything interesting#bc i have not drawn for One Billion Years and im out of practice with Normal Human Anatomy let alone#these fucking Monsters#also maybe one day ill figure out Jared#pigeon head on a deaths head moth body with gemstone eyes is something i can see in my head but when i try to draw it it doesnt look right#so. need to work on that? the main thing about jared is that he needs to Scuttle#and id like to incorporate a pigeon#hm#hmmmmmmm
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venomgaia · 8 months
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i also have been testing pngtuber+ vs veadotubemini and heres rhe fruit of a 49 layer model
#not all the emotes are shown in this lil demo theres one i keep forgetting where it is lmao#return of the coke heartthrob#i like that i made a pngtuber despite the fact that i am extremelt averse to being percieved in video formats. i used to stream more#n would do drawing streams specifically while working on projects but. ive been outta the game so long im not. too sure how i feel about#like. going back#i also did yt for like. 2 videos during lockdown to try and chronicle that whole art school mess and ended up exploding#this boy is not made for audio/video formats 💔#this is actually to test run how efficient i could be if i were to make pngtuber a commission option when i open those#this took 5 hours and all his psrts including clothing are separate and he has skin under there (i dont save the images like thst tho)#so i can swap out outfits n stuff n not have over 49 moving parts#the ONE issue with this lineless style though. is recoloring parts#i tried to do recolored mouths for s paragon model and it was a pain so i didnt rlly finish or save it.#i think i still prefer veadotubemini tbh. the blinks feel more natural in it than in pngtuber+#but i rlly like the bounce that pngtuber+ provides for just Talking#so. hit or miss#and before anyone asks no i will not be learning live2d vtubing and will not make a 3d vtuber#all of that is just too scary for me i respect everyone i see who does it WAY more now that ive like. LOOKED it over#scary shit. leaving that to the professionals#my 3d model is strictly for fun and because i like vr and vrchat. but i do not think ill ever make a vtuber in 3d.
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asktotallyhuman · 10 months
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What does Boomer eat? Do Creepers need a hyper specific diet?
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"All I have to do is bring him on my rounds with me, and he should be fine."
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arolesbianism · 1 year
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I've just been playing the new cotl update for most of the day and I'm so so close to being done with the main new story bits I think but it's also past midnight but also I'm so excited idk if I'll be able to sleep but also god damn do I need to sleep
#rat rambles#and I know I wont have long to play when I wake up tomorrow since my friends will probably wanna continue our dont starve save#and I wanna too which is why I wont say no if they do but also aghhhhhh#Ill be able to finish it once they have to go to bed but thats so long Ill have to wait 😔#anyways I saved kalamar for last since hes the hardest originally but based off my current load out I think Ill be fine#aka literally every other bishop died in seconds due to my bomb demon being over level 30 lol#Im so glad they seem to scale further now its soooooo funny walking into a room with a boss and just watching them immediately explode#also Ive been using the golden fleece more and its been going pretty well#I got up to over 500% damage one run that was cool#Ive barely been touching the heavy attacks tho but tbf thats partially cause of keyboard mapping#Ive been having so so much fun with this update tho even if Im not a huge fan of a few aspects#this has brought so much more life to the combat portion to the game for me I havent had this much fun with the combat in a while#I do still need to collect all the rellics tho Im working on it#I also feel like I should buy all the new cards but man. none of them seem very appealing to me tbh#that is one of my big problems with cotl in general getting new cards can make it harder to get the more fun or useful ones#most of the actually useful cards are the base ones or ones given to you mostly for free#everything else is mildy useful or at least fun at best and actively useless at worst#like. ooo drop ichor on hit. wow. honestly give me deaths door at that point like jesus
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gibbearish · 2 years
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tells my boyfriend im overwhelmed lately bc ive had 0 alone time for almost a full month now bc we have a friend staying with us until we can get set up in the new house and he goes "oh yeah that sucks im sorry :(( but hey soon ill be working till 10 every night just like (roommate) so whenever we both work youll have most of the day to urself!" i go hide in the closet come out to make a drink and he sits in the kitchen and silently watches me make the drink the entire time
#i get youre trying to help but im going to fucking explode#oh boy a couple hours to myself several days from now thatll surely fix the breakdown im literally currently going through#and i have to go grocery shopping because roommate ate all the food while we were gone and cant afford to get more so i have to#do rhat tomorrow because theres Fuckinf Nothing in the house and im the only one who actually does the groceries right#have to get my tires rotated get my oil changed probably get new tires entirely#im mentally exploding from a -100 social battery and he sits there w#just STARING at me making my drink fuck off!!! literally the whole reason its overwhelmning me is because i NEED soace to Just Exist#without thinking about how im being perceived or how the way i exist effects others this is the opposite of helping i just want to#fucking rest#and theres so much more to do stil it never fucking stops not even for a second#just leave me ALONE stop touching me stop looking at me stop thinking about me stop BEING HERE ALL THE TIME#we just got back from an 8 day trip to canada where we literally spent 24/7 together only excluding bathroom breaks you dont need to#keep staring at me just ignore me for a little bit or just go AWAY#and he always chews with his mouth open and usually i can deal with it but especially now its like. even if were not directly interacting#i still have to just Be Aware Of You Near Me and i need a break#even the days ill have to myself later arent gonna do much because roommate doesn't wake up for work until like 3 but#i wake up around 10 and since its a studio i have to just Sit Quietly In The Dark for hours until they wake up until they finally leave#and then i get what maybe 5-6 hours alone? which like i do Need but its not fucking enough#thats good for a regular time when i have lther alone time as well not just my One Source#EVEN LITTLE THINGS earlier i started boiling water for a cup of soup and travis is like oh sweet grab me one tlo#and im not mad about getting him soup thats easy its just. that i cant do a thing for mtself without it becoming a group activity#and then he poured my water for me without asking which is nice but i like to put a certain amount of water so now mines too watery and#but i couldnt say no cause hed already done it and i cant get mad because thats a dumb thing to get mad about and im#already irritable so i dont want to make him feel bad at all but its just like. just leave me alone please#im trying so hard not to be resentful or let little things get to me but im just so. tired
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strike-another-match · 9 months
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my brain is broken broken i literally just had the thought that im looking forward to hearing the christmas music this year. girl its january 2nd go see a neurologist
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cubedmango · 1 year
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I don’t wanna get my hopes up but tv tokyo dishing out season twos seems like an indication that… THAT… Y’KNOW
i know realistically its not happening but Two of their shows getting a s2 now makes me think It Could Be Possible?????? like idk if those shows have more content from the manga to work w but i mean..... cm has vol 11 and 12 too that havent been used......... they could work w that right............. Right........................
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thusgalanthus · 2 years
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🪙
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confused-alpaca · 2 years
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oh boy i ought to try and see a physiotherapist again
#alpaca.txt#i got discharged months ago from the last one bc i was no longer in pain all the time#idk if they can actually help anymore bc ill just be told to rest and use it less and#im doing the minimum! that i can do! but like! i have to fill my time with something#and literally everything requires use of hands#and i have to draw sometimes. i cant not do it. i have to make things i will explode if i cant#i hate seeing doctors i cannot describe my pain i cannot remember the pain ive had i cannot make notes on it#and they cant help me unless i tell them but i am unable to tell them. i have tried notes it Does Not work.#there are so many things wrong with me worsened bc i got megadepressed and did nothing at all for a couple years#urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh#in othernews ive been watching steven universe and its been. an experience#its interesting. watching something where you found out the ending years ago bc u didnt care then#and seeing how they get from the start to what u know is coming. get to see all the foreshadowing on the first watch#i finished it and i really want to draw some of it but. the ouch is here i cant.#i say finished i havent watched future but i dont think i want to. change your mind felt like enough of an ending for me#i feel like seeing more will take away from it. i saw stuff about it when it came out and i think itd be good.#but i dont know. im not really interested in it. its not the same#idk#its like with stranger things. s4 of that is probly really good but the end of s3 felt like it was The End of the story. its done. over#a complete story it doesnt need more
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thegoldencontracts · 5 months
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Hey! Can I suggest a tired & flustered Azul or Leona? Both are personal favorites
Hihi I gotchuu anon thank you for the requestt <3
also a bit off-topic but im indian-american (not native, like the asian country) and im the same shade as as leona which is why i hate hate hate when people talk about him blushing it'd be vy hard to see and i know its so weird and theyre good writers blah blah blah just a little pet peeve
Leona Kingscholar
You were currently being pulled into the arms of none other than the Prince of Afterglow, Leona Kingscholar. That wasn't particularly new - ever since you two started dating, Leona seemed to have a newfound love of cuddling you. It was pretty cute, actually. He really did act like a big cat sometimes.
Today, though, he seemed especially tired. He was always a bit tired - you knew why, and it wasn't a pretty story, but you had to digress - today, he seemed even more tired than usual.
It made sense. He had to pull an all-nighter yesterday catching up on paperwork for the Spelldrive club, something you still couldn't believe he'd actually done instead of just throwing the job onto Ruggie.
Still, he looked just about ready to collapse. You were getting pretty concerned.
"Wanna go to bed?" You asked, taking the opportunity to card your fingers through his hair. For once, he didn't try to hide the way he leaned into the touch. He pouted, though, and at that moment, you thought your heart was going to explode.
Leona, calm, always composed Leona was pouting at you. He looked almost like a kid right now.
You couldn't help the hearty laugh that escaped you. Leona huffed at you, angling his face in a way that made his dark circles much too prominent.
"Really, though," you said. "Get some sleep. I'll be here in the morning."
Leona mumbled something.
"What was that?"
"Come with me, herbivore," he said, more mumbled, and though it wasn't visible, you could tell he was blushing. The way he couldn't meet your eyes said it all.
He was surprisingly honest today.
He probably took your silence for teasing or the like, because he turned away with a huff.
"You can," he said. "I don't really care either way."
You smiled. It was genuine, not an ounce of teasing. You weren't going to do that, now when it was already so hard for him to be more vulnerable with you. It was overjoying just to know he was being honest.
"I'll take you up on that offer," you said, and that poorly hidden smile made every moment you'd have to spend listening to him snore worth it.
Azul Ashengrotto
Azul was working this evening. That was fine - he'd literally taken you out on a date so custom-tailored to you it made you wonder how exactly he knew you so well yesterday, you weren't going to complain about his performance as your beloved.
But he seemed tired. No, no, that was an understatement. He seemed like he was about to pass out any moment now. And yet, by some miracle, he was still working.
You had to perform well has his beloved, too. And that meant taking care of him when he was ill - or in this case, so tired he might as well have been.
"Azul?" you called out, and the thirty seconds it took him to process your voice and turn to look at you said it all. "Don't you think you should go to bed?"
After a few seconds, he shook his head blearily.
"'Can't," he mumbled, his words slurred. "Work."
You vaguely understood what he was trying to say. He couldn't sleep, he had work to do.
But it didn't seem like he was going to get much done in his current state other than pass out.
"Sleep, please," you said, and you were honestly shocked at how gentle your voice sounded. Being in love with Azul really did things to you, huh?
"But the money!" he whined, and you couldn't help but laugh. The money? That's what he cared about right now? How much money did he actually think he'd lose from sleeping? "'Want money."
This was the love of your life. This man.
Seeing you laugh, he huffed, cheeks bright red.
"Stop laughing," he said, pouting. "Ugh. 'S why you have no money."
Cold, Azul. Cold. Even in his current state, he had to remind you of your painfully broke reality.
"Then you'll have to help me make some, then." You said, trying to appeal to his love of rambling about finance. "Why don't you teach me? We can go to your room while we're at it, more privacy that way."
He nodded shakily, cheeks still a bit pink.
"I'm very-" he cut himself off, trying to pronounce somthing. "'Nevolent. Be-ne-vo-lent. I'll help you."
"Thank you so much," you said, and he followed you to his room.
You couldn't wait to see how embarrassed he'd get in the morning.
Bonus (Of sorts):
"I said what?"
"Yeah, and your face was so red! You kept slurring over your words, too. You couldn't even say 'benevolent'! Isn't that, like, your signature word?"
"Stop teasing me already!"
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iznyangwoni · 2 months
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EASY TO LOVE | chapter nineteen !
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You’ve been working all day on the outfits for the festival and honestly it’s been great at taking your mind off of Jungwon. This last week all you did was ignore him, thinking of how you should talk to him, what to say, how to say it. But all your overthinking did was just making you distance yourself from him, as if fighting wasnt enough.
You sigh, finally finishing one of the hundreds sketches you need to do before sunday. Its already getting late, but you need a few more people to come in for you to take measurements, so its gonna take a while before you can go home, not that you really mind, you like doing this after all.
You hear a knock on the door, so you tell them to come in, not really looking towards that direction since you’re busy choosing a color for the skirts. The door closes and you raise your head only when a grocery bag stops your vision. Your heart drops when you see Jungwon, you cant really read his expression, he looks both annoyed and relieved.
You take off your headphones and glasses, your ears getting red. “Sunghoon told me you haven’t eaten all day.” You gulp, not really knowing what to say, your eyes fall on the bag, then on Jungwon again. “You spoke… with Sunghoon?” “You’ve been avoiding me for a week, i did what i had to do.”
You bite your inner lip, you cant really imagine the two of them having a normal conversation, but you’re glad they’re growing. Jungwon sits in front of you, his eyes never leaving you, you’re trying to be tough, but its hard when your mind is going a thousand per miles and your heart is about to explode.
“I’ve been busy with the festival.” “Don’t bullshit me.” His cold voice makes your back shiver, and then you see it, that angry look he’s had since the fight, you run a hand through your hair, and then start tidying up the desk, you know he’s not going until you eat, so might as well get this over soon.
“I don’t like your attitude.” You say, and he laughs sarcastically, taking the ramen off of the bag, he already put the hot water in it before coming, the thought of him doing all of this for you makes you sigh. “Just eat and dont complain.” You roll your eyes and finally sit down again to eat, you only left your sketchbook on the table, just in case you get any ideas.
“You’ve been hanging a lot with Minji..” “Mh.” Jungwon didn’t think twice before digging into his ramen, meanwhile you’re still playing with your chopsticks. “Riki and Jake say that she’s been weird lately. So they dont hang much with us anymore.” “Ah.” This whole thing is awkward, the way you’re talking, the way he either looks into your soul or doesn’t look at you at all.
Still, maybe this is the right time to tell him the truth, to finally express how you feel and actually tell him what happened, but you’re still scared. Jungwon basically doesn’t hang out with his best friends only because of her, how delusional do you have to be to think he would believe you? “Jungwon… I’m scared.”
Finally his eyes meet yours again, your hand is slightly shaking, and you cant really stop it now. You bite your inner lip once again, meanwhile he completely stops eating just to hear you out. “Of what?” “Of you not believing me. Or of you choosing Minji instead of me.” “Y/n you can’t make me choose.”
That’s exactly what you were afraid of. Of course he doesnt want to choose, he’s known you only for a few months, meanwhile him and Minji have been friends since ever, he’s never going to pick you. “You’ll have to once you know what happened.” “Then tell me.” You take a deep breath, you really cant find the words to tell him, he’s looking at you patiently, but you dont know how long he can wait.
Just thinking back about it makes you feel ill and dirty, you want things with jungwon to work out, you want to be able to date him and call him your boyfriend but god is it hard to just say it. You look at him, your throat already hurting meanwhile he seems to be getting disappointed. “That video minji mentioned to you…” your mouth feels dry, meanwhile your eyes are the complete opposite.
You shake your head, you dont want to say it, you dont want him to think of you as low as you think of yourself for what happened. Jungwon hand reaches out to yours, wanting to soothe you. “Jiyoon was in Minji’s friend group last year, and we… we weren’t really friends.” You decide to start like this, its really now or never.
“And i was kind of dating this guy, Ricky.” “Kind of?” You give him a bad look, its not really the time to joke now, but you’re glad he’s making it less awkward.
“Well, turns out, Ricky was cheating on me with her, and they wanted me out of the picture.” You take another deep breath, you did have a little crush on Ricky last year, but it was nothing like what you feel for Jungwon, but thinking about what happened still hurts you like crazy. “So they.. they decided to take a video, something that could ruin the reputation of my family if it got out…i didnt know the phone was there when it was recording.”
Jungwon is listening carefully, caressing your fingers with his thumb, going through your jewelry so gently. “What was in the video?” You look at him again, you really dont want to say it, but you have to. “It was me, at Ricky’s house. And we were alone, and.. things escalated and we were-” “Y/n.”
The way he calls you makes you scared, is he mad at you? Does he think you’re disgusting? You dont even want to look at him in the eyes out of fear.
“Y/n, look at me.” Your bottom lip is trembling as he interlocks his fingers with yours. “Why didnt you tell me earlier?” “I was scared..” Your voice is breaking as you speak, Jungwon gets up and hugs you, you hide your face in the crook of his neck, you didnt expect him to act like this. But your friends were right at the end. Jungwon kisses your forehead before speaking, cupping your face.
“You’re safe with me.” You nod again, your eyes are watery, but you’re happy he doesnt hate you. You feel like you finally got a rock off of your back and you can finally breathe. You look at the table, the ramen is cold by now, but thats the last of your problems. “I cant believe she would threaten you with something like that i’m so sorry Y/n I-“ “Wonie you couldn’t know.” “Let me take you out to make up for it.” You giggle at that, and nod happily.
“yes, yes lets do that.”
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prev | masterlist | next
author’s note we really are reaching the end 🥲 but dont worry i wont vanish, i already posted the masterlist for my next smau! it would be great if you can check it out hihi ily
TAGLIST @unhakki @firstclassjaylee @en-verse @mxxninthesky @onlyhyunjin @heeseungmyman @jiamini @yoonzns @wonswondrland @50-husbands @leaderwonim @aloloveswonie @f3rraribabez @jwonistic @ribbioniki @kyanmeai @ilovejungwonandhaechan @nat123c @yjwsgf @gyuvision @realrintaro @glxzillx @qettalos @rairaiblog @sakanelli-afc @onlyjungchan @haohaoshoe @vixensss @terryfiedgyu
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scientia-rex · 1 year
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Because my most popular post is about weight loss and how it's a crock, I get a lot of questions about various things, including bariatric surgery--just posted the link to the post I did about that--but also Ozempic/Wegovy, the once-weekly injectable semaglutide medication that was developed for diabetes but was found to have independent benefits on weight loss.
I always said that weight loss was like Viagra: when a medication came along that actually worked, it would explode. We'd all hear about it. Fen-phen in the 90s worked, but it was bad for your heart. Stimulants, like meth, may cause weight loss, but they do it at the cost of heart health, and raise your likelihood of dying young. Over the counter weight loss supplements often contain illegal and unlisted thyroid hormone, which is also dangerous for the heart if taken in the absence of a real deficiency. Orlistat, or "Alli," works the same way as the Olestra chips Lays made in the 1990s--it shuts off your ability to digest fats, and the problem with that is that fats irritate the gut, so then you end up with fatty diarrhea and probably sharts. Plus Alli only leads to 8-10lbs of weight loss in the best case scenario, and most people are not willing to endure sharts for the sake of 8lbs.
And then came the GLP-1 agonists. GLP stands for glucagon-like peptide. Your body uses insulin to make cells uptake sugar. You can't just have free-floating sugar and use it, it has to go into the cells to be used. So if your body sucks at moving sugar into the cells, you end up with a bunch of glucose hanging out in places where it shouldn't be, depositing on small vessels, damaging nerves and your retinas and kidneys and everywhere else that has a whole lot of sensitive small blood vessels, like your brain.
Glucagon makes your liver break down stored sugars and release them. You can think of it as part of insulin's supporting cast. If your body needs sugar and you aren't eating it, you aren't going to die of hypoglycemia, unless you've got some rare genetic conditions--your liver is going to go, whoops, here you go! and cough it up.
But glucagon-like peptide doesn't act quite the same way. What glucagon-like peptide does is actually stimulating your body to release insulin. It inhibits glucagon secretion. It says, we're okay, we're full, we just ate, we don't need more glucagon right now.
This has been enough for many people to both improve blood sugar and cause weight loss. Some patients find they think about food less, which can be a blessing if you have an abnormally active hunger drive, or if you have or had an eating disorder.
However, every patient I've started on semaglutide in any form (Ozempic, Wegovy, or Rybelsus) has had nausea to start with, probably because it slows the rate of stomach emptying. And that nausea sometimes improves, and sometimes it doesn't. There's some reports out now of possible gastroparesis associated with it, which is where the stomach just stops contracting in a way that lets it empty normally into the small intestine. That may not sound like a big deal, but it's a lifelong ticket to abdominal pain and nausea and vomiting, and we are not good at treating it. We're talking Reglan, a sedating anti-nausea but pro-motility agent, which makes many of my patients too sleepy to function, or a gastric pacemaker, which is a relatively new surgery. You can also try a macrolide antibiotic, like erythromycin, but I have had almost no success in getting insurance to cover those and also they have their own significant side effects.
Rapid weight loss from any cause, whether illness, medication, or surgery, comes with problems. Your skin is not able to contract quickly. It probably will, over long periods of time, but "Ozempic face" and "Ozempic butt" are not what people who want to lose weight are looking for. Your vision of your ideal body does not include loose, excess skin.
The data are also pretty clear that you can't "kick start" weight loss with Ozempic and then maintain it with behavioral mechanisms. If you want to maintain the weight loss, you need to stay on the medication. A dose that is high enough to cause weight loss is significantly higher than the minimum dose where we see improvements in blood sugar, and with a higher dose comes higher risk of side effects.
I would wait on semaglutide. I would wait because it's been out for a couple of years now but with the current explosion in popularity we're going to see more nuanced data on side effects emerging. When you go from Phase III human trials to actual use in the world, you get thousands or millions more data points, and rare side effects that weren't seen in the small human trials become apparent. It's why I always say my favorite things for a drug to be are old, safe, and cheap.
I also suspect the oral form, Rybelsus, is going to get more popular and be refined in some way. It's currently prohibitively expensive--all of these are; we're talking 1200 or so bucks a month before insurance, and insurance coverage varies widely. I have patients who pay anything from zero to thirty to three hundred bucks a month for injectable semaglutide. I don't think I currently have anyone whose insurance covers Rybelsus who could also tolerate the nausea. My panel right now is about a thousand patients.
There are also other GLP-1 agonists. Victoza, a twice-daily injection, and Trulicity, and anything else that ends in "-aglutide". But those aren't as popular, despite being cheaper, and they aren't specifically approved for weight loss.
Mounjaro is a newer one, tirzepatide, that acts on two receptors rather than one. In addition to stimulating GLP-1 receptors, it also stimulates glucose-dependent insulinotropic polypeptide (GIP) receptors. It may work better; I'm not sure whether that's going to come with a concomitantly increased risk of side effects. It's still only approved for diabetes treatment, but I suspect that will change soon and I suspect we'll see a lot of cross-over in terms of using it to treat obesity.
I don't think these medications are going away. I also don't think they're right for everyone. They can reactivate medullary thyroid carcinoma; they can fuck up digestion; they may lead to decreased quality of life. So while there may be people who do well with them, it is okay if those people are not you. You do not owe being thin to anyone. You most certainly do not owe being thin to the extent that you should risk your health for it. Being thin makes navigating a deeply fat-hating world easier, in many ways, so I never blame anyone for wanting to be thin; I just want to emphasize that it is okay if you stay fat forever.
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mystsee · 1 year
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DRIFTED ✦ SIMON GHOST RILEY
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PART 1 ✦ NEXT
✦ about: you and simon were lovers, but simon´s duty drifted apart your relationship. 2 years later simon comes back after a long mission and reunites with his friends again, what he didn´t expect was seeing you again.
✦ content: afab reader, anxiety, blood mentions, graphic descriptions of violence, stalker ex, protective simon, pining, reunited love, civilian life, no mask, panick attack, eventual smut, psycho, no mentions of y/n
✦ a.n: an idea of the outfit i had in mind :]
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
STANDING before your mirror, cold winter air strokes your hair, you keep trying your best to conceal your puffy eyes with all the possible makeup you have. you couldn’t keep your thoughts in control, spiraling to the worst case scenario.
ever since you broke up with the crazy man, paranoia is all over you, triple checking your locks, telling your best friend where you’re going, until today.
-
lily bursts inside your flat “what the actual fuck is wrong with him?” you thought the same, not believing what you heard on the call “i don’t know if i should call the police, will they believe me? i have no actual proof of him calling me, the number was blocked” you said frowning, surprised how the situation escalated so quickly.
when you broke up with him it was crazy to say the least, he was becoming this crazy jealous boyfriend every time you travelled because of work. working for the government as a translator caused you to travel a lot. but every time you came back, he started making arguments out of nowhere, making you confused as into why he was so mad everytime you came back, slowly realizing he didn’t trust you.
he was following you everywhere on his phone, always texting you, practically exploding with anger if you didn’t answer in less than 5 minutes. god forbid if you were at a meeting with your phone on silence, hell would come when you came back to your flat.
when the breakup came, he started throwing all these false accusations of you, cheater, you don’t care about me, blah blah blah and threats, it took you a call to the police to get the bastard out of your flat. but that didn’t calm your nerves. his words on the phone call today resonating on your head:
“don’t think i forgot about you, ill get you back again” his sick voice making you feel ill, but you won’t let a man control you.
-
you agreed coming to the pub because if he dares to come close to you and do something, you would be in public, and there would be proof. what you never expected was seeing him again.
as soon as you walked inside, the cozy ambient put you at ease, it was a small pub, lightly decorated of christmas. it was saturday, so of course it would be full today. you saw lily approaching you, with a big mischevious smile on his face, finding it odd
"hey you!" you said to lily hugging her close "you won’t believe it! chris brought someone new today! said he’s an old friend from the military” said lily raising her eyebrows at you, making you laugh, you weren’t really interested to seeing someone new right now.
simon saw the interaction at far, wondering who was behind lily, she was covering her entire frame “got eyes on someone?” chris asked suddenly “what? no, just curious who’s behind her” the moment he said that, lily moved, making simon’s heart freeze.
he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. you. all dolled up, beautiful as ever, a long black coat not hiding your curves under the skin tight black dress at all, the all black outfit complementing your absolutely beautiful face, those black tights making your legs look lovely in those high knee boots, to say he was in a trance was the least, he didn’t even realize you were in front on him, a very deep blush covering your cheeks, your scarf not helping you at all.
“simon?” he missed your voice, your soft angelic voice that brought him comfort after the hell he endured in a long mission, your voice that assured him everyday that he was loved.
you heard him say your name, making your heart stop for a second, it’s been a while 2 years since you heard his deep voice. you just kept staring at him, a bit wide eyed.
he felt his voice thick with emotion, aching to touch you again and feel your soft hands on him “so you are the old friend huh” you said after simon didn’t moved at all he was shocked
what a small world you thought “you know him?” asked lily to you in a small voice “uhm, yeah! long time ago though”
-
you just parted ways and never contacted each other again you were scared you would bother him if you called to see how he was simon went to a long mission, kept small contact with you, but he could see the distance that was growing between you both. he understood the breakup, quite healthy actually, but that didn’t mean you didn’t love each other anymore, it was hard dealing with the distance.
2 years passed, simon thinking of you practically 24/7, wondering where you were, thinking if he should call you to see how you were, and 2 years of you trying to move on, never forgetting him, matter of fact, you kept thinking of the breakup over and over again, thinking maybe you made a wrong choice.
after a while you thought maybe dating again would help, but you accidentally picked a very wrong guy a psycho to catch feelings for.
-
you could feel his stare on you as you moved to sit next to him, the only seat left, even though the table was big, simon chose to sit on the side where he had no chairs beside him on both sides, so he could spread comfortably.
but now he had your knees on his left side, you bumped into them a little, muttering a small sorry, simon feeling warm inside after finally feeling you again
he was checking you out, similar to what you were doing, you noticed his arms got bigger, bulging from his hoodie, making your mind go to another complete direction, you hoped your scarf covered your cheeks.
as the night passed, simon saw the way you slowly passed from tipsy, to funny drunk, your scarf long forgotten, making simon eyes wander to your chest, he remembered that of you, everytime you drank, you literally became the embodiment of a comedian.
right now you were way too deep in a debate about cats, the wine making your head go back to what you usually debate when your drunk, cats plotting against humanity.
“i swear everytime those fur balls purr they get inside our minds” you slurred, confidently laying back on the chair nodding your head, “as soon as suzy makes that cute as hell sound, i’m on my knees for her, which is weird you guys! they are contrlling us!" grabbing your glass of vodka again, until you felt a hand on top of you
"okay okay! you know what?" chris's laugh was way too contagious, making you laugh with him as well "i think its enough for today, why don't we move this to your flat?"
after many failed attempts of trying to open your door, and laughing manically, you finally made it, inviting all in, you knew this was a good idea, chris and lily helped you plan all this, the closer they are with you, the less he could come close to you.
as simon passed in front of you, you made eye contact with him, all the memories came flooding back to you. you felt simon touch briefly your hand, making you feel warm inside.
everyone accommodated to your 2 big sofas in your living room, you had your small desk behind the sofas where you worked, and the kitchen on the right side, it was an open kitchen.
you, not wanting the party over, went directly to the kitchen to grab some wine “anyone wants a glass of wine?” they all said yes. the only ones missing were 2 of chris’ friends, they went to buy some beer.
after serving the glasses of wine, you remembered a talk you had with simon a while ago
-
“doll, you really need to make this posters, i bet people would buy them, they are way too original” said simon looking to you, locking his arms around you, you were on his lap finishing a design, and simon kept distracting you with his small kisses here and there, on your neck mostly
“maybe in the future i will print them” you said with a small smile, nervous to show your works.
-
you nudged simon on his arms with a small smile and moved your head to your left side, where your room was “i want to show you something” simon was up in an instant.
as you opened the door to your room, you heard simon inhale deeply behind you, the alcohol making you forget what you two did inside this room simon literally rearranging your guts every night, you grabbed his big hand and moved him to sit on the bed, simon was very confused, because why on earth is he in your room.
you went behind your bookcase, and grabbed a big poster on your hand “look, i finally did it” simon was at loss of words, it was a design you both made one night, it had a special meaning for you both.
you went to sit next to him “i print it to remember us” you said slurring a little, the alcohol was sure as hell making you very open to him. as you slowly put your head on his shoulder, simon freezed to the spot.
“i remember when we made it” his gruff voice said, giving you shivers down your spine, you were so close to him, feeling his heartbeat on you, wondering if he felt how fast was yours beating.
you moved your head up to look at him, and he could feel your eyes on him, not daring to move his eyes because he would definitely kiss you right there. you just looked so beautiful tonight. “i still do them on my free time, but this is the one i love the most”
your hand moved to his thigh unconsciously, you used to put your hand on his thigh anytime, you liked it. but you forgot you are in the present right now, and simon with his thigh tense “oh! sorry sorry! i think i drank a bit too much” you said laughing, standing up with the poster on his hand. “i-i need to go to the bath-bathroom, wanna join?” you said laughing and slurring way too much. when you moved to the door, your eyes widened, slapping your hand on your forehead “wait n-no, that’s when i shower, hah, for-forget my invitashion” you said nervously speed walking to your bathroom, leaving simon alone in your room, he laughed, he really missed you.
you grabbed your glass of wine after going to the bathroom, sitting next to simon on the sofa, he was really close to you, you could move just an inch and be on his lap, you really miss sitting there, your favorite spot, but your mind still has a bit of self control, so you just kept nudging him with your knee laughing, making simon feel warm inside for the 500th time tonight.
chris was telling a joke when you heard the doorbell ring, remembering the friends of chris went to buy beer, so, you stood up to go to the door alone, big mistake, you opened the door with a big smile on your face, until you saw him, on your door, with a deathly smile to you. any trace of alcohol in your body vanished, as well as your smile. you felt your heart stop for a second, fear coming all the way up to your throat.
your door had a small hallway, so your friends couldn’t see who was on your door, you just closed the door with any force you could “go away!” you muttered with a small voice, anxiety was making you not breathe well constricting your voice. simon heard that, making his breath stop for a moment.
you tried closing the door on him but he opened with a lot of force, almost breaking it. he started walking towards you.
“go away!” you screamed, trying to push him out of your apartment, but he had way too much strength. simon heard the scream and immediately stood up. in less than a second he saw your small frame pushed to the plant behind you making you hit your head. he saw this psycho push you even harder to the wall, making you whimper, and he went mad.
chris got there faster than simon, the sofa he was in was closer to the hallway, and tried pushing him out of you, but the psycho had more force than him, he just pushed him away to the floor.
you were on the floor, your nose bleeding, making you worried, even though your eyes were spiraling all over the room. you had your back to him making it hard to see his next move, a big punch on your left hip, making you scream.
the bastard stomped on your hip, a small crack was heard. your screams made simon see red. the man almost got on top on you, until simon grabbed him with all his force and moved him away from you, chris grabbed him and punched him in the face repeatedly, dragging him out of the apartment.
by then, you were crying hard, you couldn’t feel your leg anymore, there was blood on the floor, when did this happen? you felt the panick attack creeping up on you “simon?” you said in between breaths, lily was calling 911 near you. “i’m here doll, hey look at me, i’m right here” you tried finding him but you were seeing small spots on your eyes making you dizzy “fucking hell, lily we need to take her to the hospital” simon was panicked, you were about to go unconscious. who the hell was that guy?
“hey, doll, come on, look at me, yes just like that” you tried your hardest looking at him, but your leg hurted too much “my leg hurts! i can’t move it” you said between whimpers. simon tried to stand you up, but you just couldn’t “baby, you’ll be okay, try not to think of your leg okay?” you felt simon arms slowly carry you to the door, you were staining his shirt with your nose bleed, but he didn’t care, he just needed to get you to the hospital.
he managed to get you out of the door, until you started to see black all around you, the last thing you heard was your name from simon’s panicked voice.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
hiiii, so! how was part 1? i just finished writing this, but i’ll start tomorrow writing part 2, there’ll be little to no angst in this story i get way too anxious with that xd im a sucker for fluff so there will be quite a lot of fluff in here hehe
as you can see, i like adding a pic of the outfit jiji, but! feel free to imagine it as your own! :P
i had this story in my mind for like 3 months i kept daydreaming about it and thought huh 🤔 why don’t i make it a story , i finally wrote it down! yay #proud! anyways idk how many parts this will be, i’ll write the plot as it goes, but it will be most likely centered between reader x simon so! hope you liked it!!!
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thewertsearch · 4 months
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ERIDAN: for all that trainin you did ERIDAN: i wwouldnt be the incredible holy wwizard i am noww wwithout your help […] KANAYA: I Hope You Use Your Magnificent Powers Of Light And Hope For Goodness And Purity And Lets Not Forget Science
At this point. Kanaya is Human Sarcasming better than most actual humans.
ERIDAN: dont wworry im all ovver that shit you dont evven knoww KANAYA: Uh Oh I Hope That Didnt Come Off As Too Sarcastic […] KANAYA: Please Dont Take Too Much Offense ERIDAN: haha damn kan if thats your idea of offense bein made then i honestly gotta fuckin wworry for you ERIDAN: tell you wwhat ill givve you some lessons in dealin out the dark umbrage to repay you for your tutelage in the wwhite science
I think Dave taught Kanaya more about the art of trolling in a single conversation than Eridan could in an entire lifetime.
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That guy can troll better than most actual trolls.
ERIDAN: wwhats that thing there KANAYA: The Matriorb KANAYA: I Was About To Go Hatch It In The Core To Restore Our Race ERIDAN: that sounds ERIDAN: hopeful […] ERIDAN: if theres goin to be any sort a hope for our race as the prince of hope i demand to be invvolvved ERIDAN: so dont go anywwhere wwithout me got it […] KANAYA: Fine
I’m all for the construction of neo-Alternia, but I really don't think Eridan should be on the planning committee, unless we also want a neo-hemospectrum.
Honestly, the only trolls I'd really trust to rebuild their society are the bottom half of the hemospectrum, and possibly Gamzee. The other highbloods can go sit in the corner.
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ERIDAN: its not magic wwe talked about this kar KARKAT: RIGHT, IT'S POWERED BY SCIENCE, I FORGOT. KARKAT: OR HOPE. WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS
I don’t see how Hope translates to a robot-exploding beam, though.
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If it was wizards he was blowing up, I’d understand, because it would be consistent with my theory that he's weaponizing his hatred of FRAUDULENT MAGIC. If anything, his Science Wand should strengthen a robot, since it's a product of the TRUEST SCIENCES.
ERIDAN: i had a harder time than anybody wwith this game ERIDAN: it wwas really fuckin unfair wwhat challenges i got saddled wwith ERIDAN: i wwoulda fuckin MURDERED for a land full of a lot a harmless brains and fire ERIDAN: but no ERIDAN: it wwas so lonely ERIDAN: hey guys anybody wwant to come hang out wwith me in the land a wwrath and angels
That sounds cool, though. Angels, I assume, are how Hope is represented in his Land, and I’m sure Eridan synergized well with its wrath. I wonder what physical form it took?
ERIDAN: anybody at all i knoww it isnt anythin like one of your flippin land picnics ERIDAN: anybody please ill evven settle for the kittycat shipper cavve girl
You can't complain about loneliness and then insult your ‘friend’ in the same breath. That's not how any of this works, and the fact that you're unaware of this should tell you everything you need to know about why you're lonely.
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So Karkat does know about Nepeta’s little crush. He is a relationship aficionado, after all.
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Poor Nepeta.
I sort of figured Karkat didn't reciprocate her feelings. He's preoccupied with plenty of other redrom prospects, and he basically never mentions her.
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Karkat’s honestly a little too nice to Eridan. He’s being such a bro here, but what Eridan actually needs is to be brought down to size a little.
Granted, I think Eridan needs a bigger shock to the system than an angry tirade from Karkat. I feel like Terezi could tear him to pieces - but since it's unfair to expect her to put up with him alone, I'd put both the Scourge Sisters on this assignment. >:)
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What Karkat is aptly demonstrating here is that there’s a difference between an Eridan kind of asshole and a Karkat kind of asshole.
Let's be real, here - Karkat's a dick. But he's a dick who holds no true malice, knows when he's crossed a line, and is willing to sincerely apologize for his past actions, and make amends.
Eridan possesses none of these qualities, which is why he sat alone in his house for a month while Karkat befriended the entire cast.
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bizarrebazaar13 · 2 months
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FL-inspired book recs!
brought to you by hotel wi-fi
Locations
The Royal Bethlehem: “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, and “The Room in the Tower” by E.F. Benson. these are short stories, not novels, but they are fairly quick reads and are about locations where reality becomes twisted. the yellow wallpaper deals with mental illness and medical neglect, while the room in the tower is more about the overlap between dreams and the real world.
Port Carnelian: Mycroft Holmes by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. ok, hear me out on this one. if you’ve ever thought port carnelian would be great if it actually dealt with British colonialism and racism in a meaningful way and also had a murder mystery, you might like this book. a much younger Mycroft Holmes goes with his friend Cyrus Douglas to Douglas’s home in Jamaica to investigate a series of mysterious deaths.
Ladybones Road: The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley. Nathaniel Steepleton finds a gold pocket watch in his bedroom one day, but he cannot open it or even hear it ticking. six months later, it opens on its own, and an alarm goes off at the precise time that a bomb explodes in Scotland Yard. he then goes in search of its maker, Keita Mori, who claims the watch was stolen from his shop. Mori has a gift for elaborate clockwork, and though he seems kind and relatively harmless, Nathaniel is sure he is hiding something.
Ambitions/Major Storylines
Early Light Fingers: The House of Silk by Anthony Horowitz. it’s a Sherlock Holmes pastiche, but it can still be understood and enjoyed even if you don’t share my Sherlock Holmes autism. I specified early light fingers, because the mystery of what exactly the house of silk is, and the theme of corruption in highest levels of society, reminds me a lot of exploring and learning about the orphanage. just a heads up, this book is centered around a murdered child, and deals with the systemic abuse and neglect of children in victorian london. its biggest content warning is also its biggest spoiler, so I won’t give it here, but feel free to ask me. I had it spoiled for me on accident and still liked the book a lot.
Late-game Nemesis: “The Moonlit Road” by Ambrose Pierce. another short story, it recounts in three parts the murder of Julia Hetman, as told by her son, her husband, and Julia herself. it specifically reminds me of the dreams of the dead section of nemesis.
Evolution: Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant. Tory Stewart becomes obsessed with mermaids after her sister Anne’s disappearance. Anne was filming a mockumentary about mermaids in the Mariana Trench, but the ship she was on disappeared, and was recovered weeks later with no trace of the crew. footage was found that appeared to show the crew being murdered by mermaids, but it’s largely believed to be for the movie, not real. seven years later, Theodore Blackwell recruits Tory as part of his mission to return to the Mariana Trench and capture a live mermaid. it hits sort of the same spot for undersea survival horror that the diving bell section of evolution did for me.
Exceptional Stories
The Bloody Wallpaper: Sign Here by Claudia Lux. hell is an office. literally. Peyote Trip sold his soul while he was alive, and now works in hell, convincing other people to do the same. he’s one deal away from a big promotion, and all he needs is the soul of one last member of the Harrison family. normal laws of space and time don’t apply, the real hellscape is capitalism, and secrets don’t stay hidden forever… sound familiar? in terms of violence and body horror, I don’t think it gets much worse than the text of the bloody wallpaper. one of the main characters does have a pretty brutal backstory involving christianity-related child abuse though.
Totentanz: Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. set in late 1920s Mexico, the story follows Casiopea Tun and the Mayan death god Hun-Kamé on a journey across Mexico and eventually into the underworld. Casiopea finds Hun-Kamé’s bones in a chest in her grandfather’s house, and when she cuts her finger on one of the bone shards, Hun-Kamé becomes bound to her. together, they must find the rest of his body, which has been scattered around Mexico by Hun-Kamé’s brother Vucub-Kamé, who took over control of Xibalba from him. Hun-Kamé intends to retake Xibalba, but he and Casiopea must face sorcerers, demons, and twisted family dynamics- and that’s before they even get to the underworld.
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