#if this looks like a ramble that's because it IS a ramble
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housederiva · 1 day ago
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Is it just me or is there way less fanart being made for this game than the previous ones? Kind of makes me sad, I remember with dai I could check the tags every few hours and find something new weeks after launch, now I only can get away with only looking a few times and week and miss nothing.
I don't think that's Veilguard exclusive.
Things I and my mutuals draw now are getting less notes/reblogs than they did even one year ago, regardless of the fandom. Fanfiction is getting less comments and kudos on ao3 too (not that they were getting many comments in the first place) Less gifs are being made because gif makers weren't getting reblogs. Hell, most of the post I make have a huge discrepancy between likes and reblogs and add polls into that? A thousand people voted on something and only a dozen people reblog it. It's a hollowing feeling when you realise you're calling out to an empty void, I don't blame people for creating less art because of that.
I don't see a vast majority of the people who follow me in my notes because I have likes disabled. Multiple times someone has sent me an ask apologizing for spamming me with likes and I don't understand it? That is not a bad thing And unless you reblogged anything along the way, I didn't even realise you were doing it in the first place. And the people whose notes I do see are not annoying in the slightest, I love the tags you add and I'm sure the original poster does even more so
I'm not trying to shame anyone Into interacting with the fandom spaces they're in but the whole point of Tumblr and what makes it a blogging platform and not social media is that this is a show and tell website. You're supposed to look at something you think is cool and then wave it around for your followers to see and then they pick it up and do the same regardless of how old it is
When you reblog an ask game from someone it used to be common courtesy to send that person one of the asks from it. Folks used to leave comments analysing paragraphs from stories people wrote and theorising about what would happen next on every chapter. We used to send each other asks just asking about our ocs unprompted
If there's no interaction or community when you create something, then what's the point of creating it? It sucks that fandom is morphing into something to be consumed and thrown away the second it's more than a week old unless you're one of a handful of blogs that got lucky and picked up traction at just the right moment
I'm sorry for the rant but I get emotional when I think about the decay of fandom spaces for too long. And this goes without saying, but you guys can reblog anything on my dash if the button isn't disabled on it
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rie-092 · 2 days ago
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NOONA
[ yandere! beom taeha ]
summary: he is your clingy younger brother.
tw. stepcest ( pls don't proceed if you're uncomfortable with this kind of content, thank you! )
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taeha has always been the adorable little brother that you could ask for. he can still remember the first time the chairman introduced you and your mother. your adorable grin as you stood in front of him. so adorable, so excited to meet him.
he can still remember how you ramble about how your wish to have a little brother had finally fulfilled. because now, you have taeha!
at first, the main reason why he play the role of the perfect younger brother was because you look... interesting. and of course, he also wanted to see you broken and empty.
he admit it, he loves to spoil you with small gifts. it started with the drawings that he drew back when the two of you were still a child. then it became hand made gifts, then it became the expensive ones. he now become obsess to see you wearing the gifts that he gave you.
okay, what the hell? he doesn't know what is going on anymore. but he kept his cool. he needs to be calm, because you see— he doesn't want his carefully crafted facade to crumble into pieces.
he doesn't know why but he also likes the fact that you trusts him too much. when you got this little cute stalker, he can still remember how you tearfully asked him to walk you to school everyday and never leave him alone.
one day, while walking home with you. he glanced at the guy who kept following you since the two of you left the school. a small smirk formed on his lips, should he test you? see how will you react once you met this little cute stalker of yours?
just imagining your shaking hand reaching out for him and pulling him to a hug. your eyes full of fear and your shaking voice was enough to make him really excited. but fuck— the thought of someone touching you—? he fucking loathe that idea.
that's why he dealt with your little problem. but of course, he never told you that. he wanted his noona to be the same adorable older sister who loves to spoil her younger brother. even though someone died because of her.
this wasn't a game anymore. you were his just like how he was yours. and taeha will do everything— anything to keep it that way. even if it means to dirty his hands with blood. even if it means that he needs to deal with the chairman.
because after all— you were his adorable older sister.
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“you have no idea how much i've been holding back myself for you, noona.”
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capt-marty · 3 days ago
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Hey, I remade that one animatic! Featuring my OC Ernest!
[ CW: vomit (in one part) & a little eye straining at moments. Also general horror kinda ]
Rambles under cut!
I've been meaning to remake this for a while, given my art skills AND animatic skills have improved a LOT but I just didn't for a while... until a bit ago!
I love Ernest he is my favorite little guy... his lore makes me sad and evil
I need to utb post here more because I know there's utb fans from Sock... I just uh... forget to post my art. All the time.
All the utb art on here from me is like SO OLD I was going through the tag and bursting into tears dear god.
So uh... there may or may not be a random flood of new utb posts from me. I've posted some of my new utb refs before buuut- I might make like. A masterlist post with all of them, and talk about the characters too so you can know them better if you aren't addicted to looking at toyhouses like I am!
Thats all. Take a ernest
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He's losing it
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futuristichedge · 2 days ago
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Seeing a lot of tags and I feel the need to clarify: I did not draw the Espio testosterone comic--it is an edit I made of a pre-existing Archie comic, specifically from the Sonic X series! The original page is from Sonic X issue #39, in which Espio is buying aspirin, not testosterone. Here is the original, with no edits:
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Espio testosterone comic
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heavysighing-dreamyeyes · 10 hours ago
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If He Could
Jason is an unreliable narrator ~1k words
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Jason's no good for you. He's too brash, too rough, too easily pulled away to defend the streets of Gotham. He's a liability in your life, a dark stain in the otherwise perfect fabric of your reality. He's all the worst of shadowed alleys and tortured corners of decaying apartments.
He's quick to pull a weapon, even quicker to throw a punch. He doesn't quite remember how to make his smile look natural, how to stand without his shoulders tense and ready to dodge whatever comes his way. He's not normal. Not someone you should be happy to see.
But you are– everytime he drags his weary body to your window– you're happy. You smile, welcome him inside like he has a place there.
And he doesn't know what to do with it. Doesn't know how he should react to your bright eyes and soft touches and fond words. It's not like he can offer the same back or return the favors you so freely give. He wants to– at least he thinks he does– he just gets stuck when it comes to what to do with you.
He knows he shouldn't tense up at your reassuring pats to his arms– but he freezes, shocked to stillness each time your hands don't bring a wave of hurt to his skin. He knows he shouldn't be so quiet when you ramble about your day, but he can't find the words to describe just how much he does care about every mundane fact you share with him.
And oh, does he care. Too much even. Cares in a way that scares him off the grid for days at a time, only to sheepishly find his way back to your fire escape with a tub of melting ice cream or cooling coffee and a half-baked excuse on his tongue.
He adores you. He won't admit it to anyone, not even to himself most of the time. But he does. It's you who he wants to come back to when his feet ache and his eyes strain to make out words and figures. It's you who makes him feel not so heavy when the sun starts to rise over the tired, crumbling buildings he knows better than his own skin.
He has a portion of his heart and mind set aside just for you. But Jason can't tell you that. The more he relents to you (because he can never say no when you ask), the more he threatens to ruin you. He's a slow rot, a plague that sets into the very marrow of your bones.
But you don't see it. He doesn't want you to, but you should. You should understand that by carving out a place for him besides you, you are going to destroy yourself from the inside out.
There is no happy ending when all he can offer is fleeting comforts and one word answers. He doesn't deserve your patience, your endless willingness to understand and wait for him to figure himself out.
It's not fair to you– to either of you. But he always ends up back in your living room, always ends up with his hands curling into fists as you graciously take whatever food or trinket he's brought to try and win your continued affections.
He secretly believes he must be the most selfish person in the world when he leans into your warm hugs, when he passes out on your couch after your semi-regular movie nights. (He tries not to linger on what it means when he sleeps better on your old, worn furniture than his own bed)
It's cruel of him to lead you on like this. It's cruel of him to set himself up for heartbreak. You'll learn that he's not worth your time soon enough. But, for now, he can't help but bask in the way you offer to stitch the tears in his clothes, the way you so excitedly ask him to try every new recipe you've made.
If he knew how, he'd ask if you were really okay with who he is, what he does, how he acts. Your eagerness to make him feel like he does fit into any place in your life makes him wonder if it's all just a mask. If you're just waiting for him to be at his worst to reveal that it's all a lie– that he's truly and devastatingly unwanted.
Those words still haven't come from either of your lips– don't come– even when he messes up and brings you the wrong flavor of ice cream. (It's not that he forget what you liked– it's just that the store was out and he was bleeding too heavily through his suit to stop at anywhere else)
The words don't even come when he doesn't tell you why he disappeared for over a month this time. (Someone got too close to his identity– to you. He had to track down everyone involved before he could even think of resting or seeing you again)
Jason wants to have the right words, wants to do the right thing, and make you laugh and watch your eyes light up because of something he did. He wants to hug you back in a way that makes you feel safe and needed and wanted above all else. He wants to. He just doesn't deserve to give you that, even if he knew how to do it.
You're just too good. Everything Jason isn't. He feels like he's dragging you down with him when you offer to keep emergency weapons for him hidden in your apartment. He's definitely staining everything you are with his greedy hands when you start keeping extra first aid kits in your closet.
But for the life of him, he can't stop. Can't stop his familiar trek to your windowsill. Can't stop craving the hugs you offer, the conversations you share.
He wants this forever. He wants to keep this– you– whatever this is, in between his fingers and never let go. (He could if you'd just let him) You would.
And when you clean out a drawer in your dresser for him to keep clothes in, when you stock your cupboards with all his preferred foods, fill your shelves with his favorite books, and play the songs he loves to hum along to, he selfishly lets himself believe you might want this forever too. You do.
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electrikorg · 14 hours ago
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always have many thoughts about pre-gorillaz stuart, the most average british lad there is. (2D with eyes jumpscare)
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proxycrit · 2 days ago
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I love your au!!! I love how the hylian duo look like gremlins, I LOVE the expressions and sass constantly and the changes to the lore, the worldbuilding and also the emotions (OUCH). I love their relationship with purah and each other and the new champions. I love the depth you gave Yona and her relationship with Sidon and Mipha. I love how link feels comfortable talking to sidon in addition to sign, I don't know if he does that with anyone else but Zelda unless its absolutely necessary (eg: just launched out a cannon and is paragliding down, so hands are busy) (side note: i love how much of an adrenalin junky/gremlin he is!!)
I do got a few questions! Will the pair get the sheikah slate again (so say link has the slate and zelda the pad), and can both slates do the warping and item storage (food, ingredients, armor, weapons, etc) (if so: no WONDER link was so upset! His collection!)
Does link have access to the ultrahand abilities (ik you said not The ultrahand, but what about fuse or ascend or rewind etc?) Where is the mastersword??
Does Link still have the champions' abilities, or did he lose those when their spirits moved on at the end of botw?
I know these are a lot of questions but I can't stop thinking about it!! The last few updates sent me back rereading the whole au and now its just vibrating in my head and giving me no piece
This is long and rambly, just know I am very much enjoying this au! Its silly and fun and touching and cute. Thank you for working on it!!
Oo some notes (also ty for circling my au haha im glad other people fixate like i do)
(Prewarning— i did not finish totk despite putting triple hours in it, so a lot of this story is being written while playing, though i know the big broad strokes thanks to cultural osmosis and video essays. A lot of Familiar Familiar builds from my playthrough with BOTW over TOTK, so the sheikah influence is significantly stronger and I will always choose botw characterization over totk characterization as a result.)
That aside
1. Sheikah slate’s dead. Rest in pieces, link’s rare collectable korok poop. Purah’s extracting as much data as she can to put on the purah pad but you can see the dread in her eyes whenever she has to tell link resurrection is not possible.
2. No idea about the zonai arm powers yet— im thinking about ascend, but the longer i go through this story the less likely ill hand it to him just due to immersion breakage. He and zelda will be getting sheikah gadgets from purah though! Maybe ill have a scene of him wandering through the sky island shrines, but without zelda warning rauru he and sonia wouldnt have prepared anything for the hero of the future. (But i DO love ascension and fuse. Lowkey dislike the building mechanics from a concept art pov because the green glue makes me want to cry, but it’s FINE i GUESS)
2b. Master sword’s chilling in korok forest. Link put it back in this au because of Reasons (part of his and zelda’s characterization in this au is to discard their past roles and embrace the present, not as knight and princess but as hero and researcher. They both have to face the reality those roles aren’t dead, but it’s a work in progress. I may also never address it. This “one off hehe lemme draw some guys” idea quickly spiraled into a web comic series so apologies for the vagueness, because i too am watching them adventure with dread and awe and i don’t know where they’ll go with it. They literally write themselves.
3. Rip champions, their ghosts are Gone (but their influence remains. You go mipha, keep haunting the narrative girl, i love you)
I know that some of these story notes don’t quite match up to what totk states is stone cold canon, but that’s the joy of fan work! Anyways sorry for folks who i have NOT answered asks of— i have a lot of them and I’m much better at the drawing and writing part then the socialization aspect (please feel free to peak in to my zoo enclosure ever so often though. I need the enrichment)
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mnemonicpneumaticknife · 2 days ago
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Scully: Mulder, just because the murder weapon was never found doesn't mean it was-
Mulder: Knife Alien. Look for fragments of bone in the victim that don't belong to the victim. It's like in those blurry X-Rays I showed you. They won't be human DNA.
Scully: Alright. I'm going to stay here and put my hands inside a corpse. I believe in murderers, not aliens. Don't do anything foolish.
---later---
Mulder: (Leaving a voice mail on Scully's phone) Hey Scully, remember when you said not to do anything foolish? Well I went around all by myself and started asking questions about the Knife Alien. Some guy and I have weird sexual tension now. I think he's stalking me. Also he might be the Knife Alien and has retractable bone spur knife-hands that he uses for purpose of murdering humans.
---a few minutes later---
Scully: *checks her messages* Okay I'm calling the local sheriff because Mulder is about to get murdered.
---later---
Mulder: I'm sorry, Scully, i couldn't stay in my motel room watching pay per view pornography. The truth is out there and I had to find it. Today that meant almost being stabbed with knife hands. What did the DNA test say?
Scully: It's mutated but definitely human. Also some guys in black vans stole the bone fragments so I can't do more tests.
Mulder: Scully I can't believe this. You should have let me get murdered instead of leaving the proof unattended to save me.
Scully: You're welcome.
---later---
Mulder: The Knife Alien is still out there, walking around, having a job, moving from town to town, inspiring my weird rambling monologues that I put at the ends of my reports.
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sonotpattismith · 2 days ago
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ruin it all over
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pairing: tattoo artist!sukuna x ballerina!reader word count: 12.9k content: angst, insecurity, feelings of worthlessness, reader low-key crashing out, hurt w/comfort, loss of virginity, there's a happy ending here somewhere pls bear w/ me, smut, 18+ a/n: continuation of where I first saw you
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Ryomen was a guarded guy. Sure— he was getting a little better at the small talk he once thought was so pointless, but it was only because you always seemed genuinely enthralled to hear about what kind of cereal he ate that morning or what song he was listening to on the car ride to work (even though you had no clue who the artists were that he would name, but you were keeping a running playlist). He tried, but it certainly didn’t come naturally to him. 
No, because it was much more entertaining for him to listen to your sickeningly sweet voice ramble on and on about the exam you almost missed because you were trying to give a stray campus cat your leftover egg salad sandwich, or how you started keeping tins of actual cat food in your bag  just in case even though the critters never seemed to appear when you were actually prepared for them.
The silent man would go about whatever he was doing— closing up the shop with you perched on the counter awaiting him, cleaning his car as you sat in the passenger seat pretending not to stare at the way the sweat clung to his bulging arms as he wiped down the dashboard, shaving his face as your voice fluttered through his phone on the sink— he was taking in every word with as little as an occasional grunt that proved he was still listening.��
His favorite part though, was nearing the end of your drawn out stories, when your words would start to trail, and your face would begin to flush because you realized— god, you really have been talking for a long time. Whenever he’d notice those little queues, he’d always look up just in time to watch as you buried your burning face into your hands, muttering out an apology about talking his ear off, and he would smile, because something about that gentle timidness contrasted so deliciously with his brash and jagged edges. It lit a fire in his chest each time, one that had him reminding himself to reel it back in before he scared you one of these days.
So, he’d bite down the urge to pounce and opt to flick at your forehead, tutting softly as he urged you to not leave me in fuckin’ suspense as soon as you’d peek up at him through your fingers. 
His crass mouth was another aspect of him that didn’t seem to phase you as much as he thought it would. In your eyes, he could curse like a sailor and scowl all he wanted, because none of it ever took away from the way his typically rough hands handled you with the delicacy of fine china, and how he always seemed to remember the little bits of you you’d shared when you were sure he hadn’t been listening. It also didn’t hurt to have someone without any hair on his tongue around when the cafe got your order wrong, and you were too scared to say anything. 
So, maybe you weren’t sure exactly how to label whatever it was that had been going on between you two for the past couple weeks, but you knew you were actually excited for something other than your frequent dance practices for the first time in months. Shrugging on a sweater and a pair of sweatpants over your leotard and tights, you scooped up your bag before tossing a rushed goodbye out to your teammates and bursting through the doors. 
Your feet still ached from the extensive time spent awkwardly constricted in your pointe shoes, but Sukuna had texted you just before practice asking (demanding) to meet him at the shop afterward since his last appointment was ending early. He’d offered to come pick you up, but the last thing you wanted to do was become a burden on him after he’d been working all day. So, you trudged through the dull pain and walked as fast as your throbbing feet would take you through the campus. 
Chewing on your bottom lip, you busied yourself with checking the train schedule as the breeze messied your once neat bun. Glancing up after you narrowly avoided getting knocked into one too many times, you had to do a double take when you saw the familiar mop of pink hair in the distance. Biting down your tickled smile, you shook your head at his stubbornness. You picked up your pace a bit, but slowed down just as you were a few feet away from him. It had become a self-appointed challenge, your constant attempts to scare him as it seemed nothing swayed this man. 
With an unnecessary burst of adrenaline, you made a running start before pouncing on his hoodie-covered arm with an exaggerated shout, an eccastic grin lighting up your face at the sound of his abrupt yelp. 
“Hah! So much for— oh my god!” It was now your turn to yelp, because the startled face looking down at you was free of all the intricate tattoos that you’d grown so fond of, and the bicep in your grasp was most definitely a few inches smaller in circumference than you remember. Perhaps you should have known, because the hoodie you were clinging onto was a baby pink color, and you were positive you’d never seen that man in anything other than black.“I-I’m so sorry, I thought—” Your mortified apology died on your throat, because now that the jolt of fear had somewhat subsided, you noted that this was a damn near spitting image of Ryomen. “Oh my god!”
Stumbling back with a start, your foot twisted awkwardly on the rocky pavement below you, nearly sending your ass tumbling to the ground when the black haired man in front of him, whose eyes had since been shooting daggers into your skull, jolted forward to steady you. Stammered apologies continued spilling from your lips as you crouched against the sudden pain in your foot that had already seen better days before your tumble.
“I’m so sorry, it’s just that you look exactly like—”
“Ohhh,” The doppelganger cut you off, an amused smile of recognition finally lighting up his once startled expression. It wasn’t long after though that his face quickly scrunched up in disbelief once again as he took in the way you starkly contrasted his gruffer counterpart. “Wait, you’re the one seeing my brother?”
You blinked once, then twice, mouth hung open as the puzzle pieces began clicking together. Ryomen had mentioned that he and Choso have another brother, but he left out the arguably major details that for one, you two attended the same university, and two, that they were—
“Twins?”
Sukuna had already wrapped up his last appointment by the time you waltzed through the doors of the parlor, your eyes narrowed at the back of his head as he cleaned his station absentmindedly. Pausing your hunt to offer a warm smile to Choso as he greeted you, you quickly locked back in. It didn’t seem too busy in the shop today, only one other customer in the back getting the finishing touches of their ink. 
Taking advantage of his lack of attention, you quietly made your way over and took a seat in his tattoo chair, holding back a groan of relief at the weight being taken off your twisted ankle. As he turned back around, it didn’t surprise you that he didn’t jump in the slightest at your sudden appearance. Hiding the tiny smile tugging at his lips with a short scoff, he reached up to flick at your forehead before swooping in with an urging hand on your jaw to press a kiss to your temple, your cheeks mushing together under his grip.
“There you are, geez. What took you so damn long— got lost?” 
“No, funny story actually,” You began, watching with a tilted head as he began putting his supplies away. “I ran into this guy that looked just like you. Pink hair and everything!” 
This made his movements falter for a fraction of a second, and you could practically see the realization don on his face that he’d forgotten to tell you something. Playing it off as he always did though, he only hummed in response. Narrowing your eyes again, you finally thought of the one thing that might actually startle him for once. 
“Yeah, it was pretty embarrassing. I accidentally kissed him and—”
“You kissed my brother?” His baffled shout echoed through the shop, the bottle in his hand clattering to the ground abruptly. 
“You kissed one of his brothers and it wasn’t me?” Choso shouted incredulously from the front, face morphed in bitter betrayal. “Yuji doesn’t even like girls!”
Sukuna felt his eye twitch, and he wasn’t sure which one of his siblings’ necks to wring out first. Deciding that Choso was closest and therefore easier game, he quickly pivoted on his heels to make a beeline for his target before you squeaked at the predicament you’d caused, snatching him back by his wrist with poorly disguised laughter. 
“Wait! Wait! I surrender, I was kidding— spare him!” 
The pure mass of him had you tumbling from the chair, clinging onto him desperately to give his half-brother a running start to lock himself in the bathroom. A pained yelp fell from your lips as you stumbled after him. This had him abruptly whipping his head around, staring down at the way you limped back over to the chair. 
“The fuck happened to you?” He was kneeling down before you had the chance to answer, grasping at your calf as his other hand worked the fleece-lined boot from your foot. Leaning back on your hands, your scrunched face stared down at him as he carefully peeled your sock back to reveal the red skin that was paving the way for a gnarly bruise. Along with it though were the scars and blisters that your pointe shoes had graced you with over the years, and he tutted under his breath. 
“Well, it kinda freaked me out when I saw Yuji.” You explained sheepishly, wincing as he ran a thumb over the warm skin. “And my feet were already killing me from practice, so I tripped up a little.”
“Can’t blame you— punk’s got an ugly fucking mug.”
Despite the searing ache in your feet, you couldn’t help the airy laugh that bubbled up your chest at his ridiculous claim. A smirk slid onto his lips at the sound. From your peripheral, you saw Choso poke his head out of the bathroom to check if the coast was clear, and you offered a subtle thumbs up, biting back an amused smile as he carefully slipped out to quietly take his place back at the front. 
Sukuna ditched the plans he had to take you to lunch, opting to take you back to his place so you could get off your feet. You flushed initially at the idea, still never having stepped foot into his apartment since you two started… whatever this was that you two had started. Your unease was palpable as you sat stiffly on his couch, watching as he bustled around the kitchen after having told you to wait here. 
He almost looked too large for the space he was residing in, the appliances in his kitchen appearing ridiculously small next to him. You couldn’t help but wonder what he’d look like in his pajamas, hovering menacingly over that stove as he cooked you breakfast after—
You quickly cleared your throat, cheeks burning as you tore your gaze from him in search of anything that might distract you from your impure thoughts. With a wandering gaze, you landed on the picture frame sitting idly on his side table. Sukuna had his middle finger positioned at the camera, partially blocking his face as his other arm was slung around the neck of the boy that had startled you so badly just hours prior, his brother's finger hooked into his already beaming smile to pull at his lip. You smile softly at the picture, being able to detect the subtle softness in the brooding man’s eyes even with all the layers of stone he always seemed put up before him. 
“Alright, take them dogs out.” The man in question commanded as he trudged back into the living room with a bucket in tow. Your brows furrowed as he set it down on the floor in front of you. As if you had already been taking too long to comply, he kneeled down with a disapproving tsk to snatch your socks off himself and roll up your sweatpants before lowering your aching feet into the water. 
“Ah—” You hissed as the warm water enveloped your inflamed tendons and skin. A few short pants escaped you before morphing into a sigh of relief as you felt your feet throb as if thanking you for showing them mercy. Slumping back against the couch, your eyes shifted apprehensively between him and the bucket. “Um, Ryo, do you happen to have any—”
“Salt? I already put a shit ton in there.” 
“Oh.” You blinked in surprise, watching as he finally stood from his knelt position to trek back to the kitchen and procure a water bottle from the fridge. Finally sinking into the spot beside you, he passed over the bottle. “How’d you know to put it in there?” 
A small, questioning hum left him, and you tilted your head down to the bucket. 
“Punk’s been running track for years.” He explained as he slung an arm around your shoulder to pull you into his side. “If you think your toes are fucked up, you should see what I’ve had to soak off that bastard’s feet— shit’s not natural.”
A laugh attempted to leave you, but it came out closer to a groan than anything else, your head falling back against the cushion in agony over the state of your feet. Shifting your head to the side to look up at him, you found that he was already looking down at you. The intensity in his eyes seemed to suck you in, opening the smallest window to the inner thoughts that he seemed so protective of. 
You found yourself flushing at the way it never wavered, unabashedly trained on you as though he could possess you by will alone if only he tried just hard enough. His fingers caught your jaw as you tried to escape it in hopes of calming your racing heart, ruby eyes dragging down your face until they fell upon the lips that were smushed between his fingers.  
“You didn’t really kiss my brother, did you, doll?” He tested, his hot breath creating a mind-numbing humidity over your gently parted lips. The faintest of whimpers escaped you, and you quickly shook your head in hopes that he’d put you out of your misery already and kiss you as you’d been waiting for all day. Your response made him smirk, his nose brushing against your as he seemed to inhale each shaky breath that left your mouth. “Good, cause I woulda’ hated if I had to scrub him off of ya’.”  
Lord, if you’re up there, please spare me.
Your frantic inner prayer seemed to fall on deaf ears though, because Ryo was swiftly pulling you in for a nearly bruising kiss, barely giving you the time to relish it before releasing you all together. He always loved the look on your face— the tiniest of disappointed furrow in your brows paired with that glossed pout— it drove him to the brink of insanity each time. 
Gluing your eyes to your lap for the sake of having anything else to concentrate on, your fingers dug into your thighs for a moment as you thought of something to say. Hearing the sloshing of the water bucket as you shifted uncertainly, you were reminded of why you were in this position in the first place. 
“Why didn’t you tell me you were a twin?” You finally broke the tense silence, the one during which his gaze not once left your delicate side profile. A dainty smile pulled at your lips when you glanced back up at him. “Probably would have saved me the embarrassment— his boyfriend looked like he was going to kill me on the spot.”
“Why— think you’d like the other one better?” It was so like him to brush off your questions with a jab and a matching smirk, though you had a feeling there was some truth hiding in the depths of this one. 
“Is that what you thought?” You questioned, not matching his banter as you usually did. Instead, your voice was level, careful in how it broached this topic with him.“That I’d prefer your brother?”
The reaction he tried to disguise revealed itself within his fluttering blink, the way his smirk faltered for even just a millisecond before he scoffed. You caught it though— that rare sliver of vulnerability in his eyes just before he turned his head away from you under the guise of pushing his hair from his forehead. 
“Bullshit,” He quipped, that guarded smirk back on his face faster than it had left. Reaching down to scoop up the towel he’d left beside the bucket, he placed it in his lap before abruptly pulling your feet out of the now luke-warm water to dry them. “Brat might be nicer than me, but he sure ass hell don’t got my hands, huh?” 
Before you could even consider flushing at the implications of his words, said hands were kneading into the searing arch of your feet with more pressure than any of the myriad of foot rollers you’d come to know in all your years could ever manage. All thoughts of Yuji and his brother’s oddly stubborn defenses vanished from you as you fell back horizontally against the couch, a gutteral groan leaving you that Sukuna hadn’t even realized could come out of such a comparably small person. 
“Geez, doll,” He whistled lowly through the pure mirth etched onto his face as he drifted his focus down to your heels, rolling his knuckles over them tantalizingly. “Not what I imagined when I thought of you all spread out and moaning on my couch, but I’ll take it.”
With a burning flush, you dug the back of your head into the cusion below you to shield yourself from his teasing gaze. 
“Sorry,” You mumbled, covering your timid face behind your hands with a blissful sigh. “Just haven’t had much of a break lately.”
“Take it easy the next few days.” He grumbled as though he hated how his own concern sounded in his ears, fingers trailing up to gently massage into your calves. His neck nearly snapped with the abrupt turn it took at the sound of your quiet, incredulous laugh at his suggestion. “Did I say something fuckin’ funny?” 
“No!” You squeaked, though the amusement still lingered in your tone as you peaked at him through your fingers. He only raised his brows at you in challenge. “That’s just… not possible right now. Swan Lake is only like a week away, remember?” 
Of course he remembered— he had been reeling to see you perform again since that first night you took his breath away, though he’d never admit it. The air of nonchalance that waved from him when your ecstatic voice squealed through his phone weeks prior that you had been picked to portray Odette was carefully calculated. In truth though, he felt as though his chest might burst with a sense of pride he wasn’t sure he’d ever experienced before. 
Sure, he hadn’t the slightest clue who the fuck this Odette character was, but he wasn’t at all surprised after a quick google search that you would have been the only choice fit for the lead role— though perhaps he was a little biased.  The stoic man wasn’t upfront with his praises though, but you heard it loud and clear in his simple response of yeah, no shit you got picked, a hidden smile lingering in his otherwise gruff tone. 
“Yeah? How you gonna play Odyssey with no fuckin’ toes left?” He quipped, purposefully mistaking the name just to hear that saccharine laughter of yours as he paused his massage to creep between your legs. 
“It’s Odette, Ryo!” You giggled, pushing at his chest to no avail as he hovered over you to pepper wet kisses along your jaw. “And I can’t afford to slack off.” 
“You’re taking a day offa’ practice.” He grumbled against your ear before snagging the soft lobe between his teeth. Your breathless pants tickled his neck, and the hands that had since been haphazardly shoving at his broad shoulders curled into the neckline of his shirt. 
Those pretty, pink lips that took up so much space in his mind circled into the gentlest of oh’s as his hand wandered down your waist and grasped at your hip, pulling it up to press you against him. 
“I-I can’t—”
Slipping that same hand down, he cupped at the warmth between your legs purposefully, sending your back arching up from the plush cushions. 
“Hm?” He hummed tauntingly at your sudden loss for words, easing up the pressure on your center just enough to make you beg him for it. “You gonna stay home and rest those pretty little legs of yours tomorrow?” 
The heat radiating from your cheeks warmed his lips as he traced them up your face and nipped at your pouted lips. You nodded deleriously, tangling your hands into his hair to pull him in to properly kiss you. 
“I’ll take a break.” You barely got out against his curled up lips before he was consuming you once again. 
His once idle hand eagerly snuck up to dive down the front of your sweatpants, and he tsked in aggravation at the barrier that was the leotard and tights you had yet to change out of. Pulling away from you with a wet smack, he instead focused his efforts on snaking down your body, pressing kisses against your clothed chest, across your ribs and down your stomach. 
A faint rumble had him pausing his pursuit to glance up at you, that familiar glitter of amusement hidden in his ruby eyes. You quickly shook your head, mumbling that you were fine, and your eagerness had all but convinced him that you were, diving back down to slip his fingers into the waistband of your sweats. Your fingers danced up to tangle into his already mustled hair, lifting your hips ever so slightly so he could tug down your bottoms. They had only just barely grazed the swell of your ass before he heard it again— this time more vengeful than the last. 
“Okay, put your fuckin’ shoes on, we’re getting you a burger.” 
Much to your dismay, Ryo did convince you (stood over your shoulder until you texted your instructor that you were sick) to take the day off of practice the next day. In his defense, the foot that you had injured the day prior had begun to take on a faint purple hue along the bridge. Still, you couldn’t help but barely relax the entire day as you were meant to be doing— too caught up in the fear that the mere day you were taking would set you back tremendously. 
Truthfully, while you were completely over the moon to have been given such a coveted role, one you’d dreamt of since you were little no less, the years of buildup had paved the way for a blackhole of self doubt. Not only were you given the opportunity to perform your dream role, but you knew for a fact there would be recruiters for at least three professional dance companies in attendance for the show. Additionally and nearly as nerve-wrecking, Ryo would be there, and it would be the first performance he would see following that first night you two had spent together. 
With how matter of factly he always spoke of your dancing abilities, you couldn’t bear the humiliation of messing up under his watch. Aside from him, your identity as a dancer was all you had since moving here. Without it, you weren’t sure there was anything left to you at all. There was a gnawing fear sprouting roots in each of your bones that told you that Ryo wouldn’t find much else either. Perhaps it was unfair, unhealthy to be putting such pressure on yourself, but you’d much rather drown in your contradictions than bear the weight of swimming up to the surface to confront them. 
Maybe it was the fact that you had worried yourself into the early hours of the morning when you should have been sleeping to prepare for the hours of practice that would be awaiting you when you woke. Even more likely was the fact that it was the barely healed, blackening bruise lingering maliciously on your foot that assured that you just wouldn’t for the life of you land any of your grand jetés, your aching tendon simply dipping too far under the leaden weight of your drops. Your partner, who would be fulfilling the role of Prince Siegfried alongside you, really did try to help, his hands tightening in a barely noticeable fashion around your waist each time you came down from your leaps in hopes of easing your landing so that you may execute it with more grace— but not even his mercy seemed to save you. Whatever you could inevitably point the blame at though caused you instructor to finally snap about four hours into practice that day.
It took barely a sharp glare, a hushed critique, but it sliced through you like a knife. Over the years, you had of course learned to take and constructively use the feedback given by your instructors, though the weight of your role’s importance to the success of the show perhaps made her words cutting and her eyes despondent toward your previously blossoming potential. You could even feel your partner’s typically playfully smug expression boring into the side of your head with barely concealed sympathy, but not even Satoru’s usually life saving swoop-ins could pull you out of the hole you were throwing yourself down.
You could hardly think of a thing else when you left that evening, sun already prepared to retreat soon for the night. The score played resoundingly in your headphones speakers that sat snuggly against your ears, aiding in your wide-eyed, mental rundown of each number on your trek back to your dorm, every muscle in your body seemingly screaming with every dragged step.
Nothing would allow you to let up on yourself, it seemed. You stared blankly into your fridge for nearly ten minutes following your scalding shower before deciding your mind was far too preoccupied to conjure up any sort of appetite. And so you didn’t rest when you got home that day. With the increasingly taunting melodies of Tchaikovsky's compositions filling the already tense air of your dorm, you continued your trembling fouettés and pirouettes until each of your steps wavered and it became glaringly difficult to lift yourself from your rocky landings. 
There was barely a glimmer of sunlight left shining from your window, and you weren’t sure how long you’d been furiously torturing yourself for, each falter or misstep being met with blindly frenzied repetitions. A sharp rap on your door seemed to shake your resolve, almost drowned out by the volume of your music that had been steadily ticking up and up and up until the fact that you hadn’t received a noise complaint had to have been chalked up to a heavenly intervention. 
It startled you in the midst of your leap, reducing whatever semblance of grace you had prepared for your landing into a thudding heap on the floor. Your knee’s resounding smack against the wood floor along with your frustrated cry was only followed by a harsher pound at your door, and you were sure you saw the door frame rattle even if just by a hair. 
“I’m coming!” You tried to sound as though you weren't ready to open your window and scream your miseries out to the world, though you weren’t sure how well it translated. A shuddering breath shook your frame as you rose from the floor to make your way to the door one wincing step at a time. You had barely the chance to crack the door before it was being pushed open, and the spine-chilling scowl on the face of the man who invited himself in would have had you calling campus security in any other situation. “Ryo?”
“What the hell happened to you? I haven’t heard from you since this morning. Ain’t been answering any of my—” His exasperated interrogation died in his throat as he took in the state of your dorm— namely the main floor, where your modest couch had been pushed haphazardly against the far corner of the room, with your rug rolled up and slouched against the wall. The body mirror that typically hung on your bathroom door was ripped from its place and leaned against the wall to face the makeshift practice space. 
You watched with a waxing humiliation as his expression morphed into a startled disquietude he did little to mask. With a flickering gaze, the cool air of your space whipped against your burning cheeks as you shook your head, placing your hands desolately onto his shoulders in an attempt to push him back toward the door. 
“You should go, I—”
“Like hell I should go, what the fuck is going on?” Sukuna’s venomous tone contrasted the desperately gentle manner at which he reached out to grasp at your cheeks. In his frenzied inspection of you, he noted how your flushed face and damp skin paired painstakingly with the droop of your exhausted eyes. “Have you stopped at all today?”
“I—” Your weak stammer pitched until you could no longer hear it falling from your lips. The fat of your cheeks squished against his palms as you slumped defeatedly into his grasp, a traitorous tear slipping down your burning eyes. You tried to cast your gaze downward in search of any solace against the way you were breaking down so pathetically before him, but his insistent fingers prevented you from doing anything of the sort. 
His incredulous eyes widened as one tear turned into several, until no dam could possibly stop your abrupt onslaught onto the tightening grasp of his hands. And god, how he felt he was the worst person to have stumbled upon such a scene, because Sukuna had never in his life been sure what to do with tears. In all his years, he’d solved matters with his sharp tongue and barreling fists— though he’d never quite mastered the intricacies of handling anything with fragility or care. 
So, as comforting as he thought he could manage, he stiffly pulled your head against his chest, sighing in modest relief when you buried your nose in further. The motion gave him hope that just maybe whatever foreign moves he was making didn’t come off as horribly stiff and unnatural as they felt to him. 
“I kept messing up my choreography today, a-and I just— I can’t—” The choked sobs were rendering your frenzied explanation nearly incomprehensible as you began heaving out your breaths. Your shoulders were jostling with the sudden expended efforts of your erratic breathing, and he decided that perhaps a hug wasn’t going to cut it, because your skin was clammy and you were choking on your breaths and he was sure you’d pass out any second now. 
“Nah, c’mon, get it together f’me.” Ryo muttered with a crippling effort to not raise his voice and make the situation worse. With a firm hand on your nape, he began urging you toward the hall where he nearly tore your bathroom door off the hinges opening it. Twisting on the faucet of your ivory sink, his hand pushed you down until your frazzled face was a mere inches from the now running water. Cupping his hand under the stream, he ran the starkly cool water down your feverish face. You gasped softly at the way it seemed to shock your already strung-out nervous system. “Breathe, dammit.” 
But the much needed air was already crashing against your withering lungs like waves against an unsuspecting shore as his hand continued splashing at your face. 
“I’m sorry— I’m sorry.” You finally rasped out, feeling as though you were at last breaking through the surface tension that had been trapping you in your haze. The grip on your nape slowly loosened in tandem with your leveling breaths, and you leaned against the counter for support. 
Sukuna switched the faucet off before turning you to face him once again. There were stray droplets of water still rolling down your face and dripping into the divets of your collarbones, and he swiped at your dribbling jaw as he waited for you to collect yourself. It was silent as his intense gaze burned holes into your forehead, and it pushed the few stray tears lingering in your waterline out. 
“She told me that I—” You cut yourself off, face scrunching up in embarrassment, but he gently jostled you to urge your continuing. “That I-I’m not taking this seriously.”
“Fuck that—”
“No, she’s right, Ryo.” Your sudden insistence caught him off guard, his eyes searching yours incredulously because he couldn’t think of one person who could’ve grasped at their goals as tightly as you had between your delicate fingers. “I skipped practice yesterday, and I haven’t been putting in as much time as I can— I’m gonna mess everything up.” 
“Hey, no that’s bullshit, you hear me?” His fingers squished at your cheeks in order to urge your wet gaze onto his grave eyes. “You ain’t a damn machine— how the hell do you expect to put in a hundred percent when you’re grinding yourself stupid? Huh?” 
You didn’t answer him, instead opting to squeeze your eyes shut, chewing on your bottom lip. 
“You need a break. You need to fucking relax, alright?”
“I can’t— I don’t know how.” You admitted meekly as your own trembling hands came up to grip desperately at his wrists. The scent of his cologne helped marginally to ground you as he leaned down to press ardent kisses against your temple and forehead. “I feel like I’m possessed or something. I can’t sit still, I can’t—”
“You gotta try for me, baby.” The way his gruff voice reverberated in his chest had you pulling yourself closer to him, desperate to drown in the intoxicating distraction that had been laid before you. Because Ryomen— he smelled like a forest, his hands were so sure in their pursuit of you, his voice flowing like the most expensive of wines, and he had never called you that before, and you thought there was nowhere you’d rather plummet into insanity than his fortifying embrace. 
“Can you…” Your soft whisper drifted in apprehension, a deep scarlet painting your still drying cheeks. He hummed in question, already terrifyingly resolute in his decision that he’d burn cities down to complete whatever request it was that would fall from your lips if it meant that painstaking little crease of worry between your brows would leave you alone. “Can you help me? You know… r-relax?” 
And oh how his chest filled with pride, because the tears and the speeches were lost on him but this? This he could do, he determined as he sank to his knees before you. He’d felt utterly hopeless at the hands of your tender nature and gentle touches, because he knew that anyone else would be able to reciprocate them to you far better than he could ever hope to, though he knew one thing for certain as he tugged your bottoms down, chin propped on your navel to look up at you in that sweltering manner he was so good at— there was no one alive or dead that would be able to take care of you like he intended to. 
Your hands found purchase on the counter behind you in desperate pursuit of support as he nudged your legs further apart and buried his head between them. His tongue was warm as it lapped mercilessly at your center, urging hands gripping at the back of your thigh to wrangle one of your legs over his shoulder. He moaned against you as you arched into him, his grip around your thigh tightening as if to encourage your movements, and you found yourself crying out along with him. Your chords meshed together and danced harmoniously off the thin walls of your dingy, dorm bathroom. 
The mystery raced through your mind of what planet this man had come from, as he was managing to pull at threads you hadn’t known existed in you with each skilled thrust of his tongue. Your balance wavered on the leg that remained standing, trembling on its tiptoes as it attempted desperately to keep up with him to no avail. Just as you slipped forward, Sukuna’s bicep was hooking under the wavering limb before hoisting himself up along with you. 
Your back fell against the mirror once he dropped you onto the counter, and his fingers were soon replacing his tongue just as all your crippling thoughts of self doubt were soon replaced by him. Him as he lurched forward over the sink to capture your lips, allowing you to taste yourself lingering on his tongue before leaning back to watch the way you began to desperately grind yourself against his fingers. 
“What are you thinking about right now?” He all but growled out as his fingers found a blistering rhythm within you, the continuous, wet smacks of his palm against your heat making it difficult for you to think of anything at all though. So, you only whined out in response, your feet craning up to gain any kind of leverage on the counter’s edge. At once, his free hand was grasping at your nape to angle your gaze to look up at him, his incandescent eyes demanding to be met. “I asked you a question.”
“You!” You gasped out, the searing pleasure making way for the tears that gathered in the corner of your eyes. He smiled wolfishly at your response, and you moaned softly at the sight. “Just you, I’m thinking about you, Ryo.”
“Yeah?” Sukuna muttered smugly, grasping at your leg as it continued to slip against the counter in search of support. 
His heated touch ran down your calf teasingly until it curled around your ankle that was still partially covered by the ties of your pointe shoes. Ever so slowly, as if testing the spellbinding flexibility that had had the perverse wheels turning in his head since he first witnessed it on stage all those weeks ago, he inched your leg up and up and up until the bridge of your foot brushed against the mirror only a mere inches away from your rapturous face. For once, the wind felt as though it had been knocked from his lungs at the sight, but he worked to quickly compose himself lest you bear witness to the slip in his resolve. 
So, he instead leaned in closer to you, the back of your thigh now flush against his chest as his hand kept your leg pinned up. A shuddering moan slipped from you at the feeling of his lips brushing against the shell of your ear. 
“And what am I doing in those thoughts of yours, doll?” The whisper sent shivers down your spine, and you couldn’t help but turn your face away from him bashfully. Tutting softly in mocking disapproval, he nudged your face forward once again with a push of his nose against your chin. “Hm? Speak up now, I can’t hear you.”
But your climax was nearing closer and closer, evident in the way your warmth squeezed around his relentless fingers and your breaths grew choppy. Perhaps that was the only reason you had the nerve to actually answer him.
“Y-You’re— ah!” A sharp gasp shook you as he angled his palm to brush against your clit with each stroke, but he quickly ground out for you to keep talking. “You’re making love to me, Ryo.”
Your high came crashing down onto you just as your words seemed to shatter his mind, his mouth falling open in tandem with your pitched cries as you peaked. His brows drew fiercely together, his teeth gritting together as he worked you through the waves of your release, and he no longer cared if you saw the way his thusfar fierce front had fallen, because Ryomen couldn’t possibly want anything more in that moment than for you to allow him to bring your lust-clouded thoughts to fruition as he leaned forward to swallow your moans.
“Can’t talk like that, doll.” He groaned despondently against your lips, foreheads brushing together while your lower half jolted against him.
“Why?” In your delirium, you could have cried at his disapproval. 
“Cause I might just fucking do it, that’s why.” 
It fell silent in the already small bathroom that seemed all the more cramped with Sukuna’s Herculean figure occupying the majority of it. Your soft pants puffed against his mouth, eyes fluttering out a stray tear as you reached up to grasp at his nape. The sensation of your nails dragging down the blunt hairs of his undercut made his fingers curl deeper around your ankle, scrambling for any semblance of restraint. It would never come though, because you had the gall to pout against his parted lips, your grip like a vice on his neck as you whispered to him.
“Please, Ryo.” 
He certainly didn’t feel as though he deserved such a privilege, but it was also far from him to make you beg for a part of him that was already wholeheartedly yours. So, his grip fell from your leg in favor of scooping you up by your thighs, your dripping core soaking against his shirt as he moved through your dorm like a man possessed, kicking at your bedroom door impatiently. 
You barely had the chance to recover from the abrupt manner in which you bounced back against your mattress before he was wrangling your sweater from over your head. Sighing wantonly at the sight of his tattoo marked proudly against your heaving sternum, he leaned down to sink his teeth into it. Any semblance of rationality seemed so far from you as your jaw hung open, and you blindly reached down to tug at the back of his shirt until he disconnected from you to pull it off. 
In a lust-filled haze, you reached out to trace the black ink that ran down his chest, making him hum appreciatively, his own hands capturing yours to hold them against him even if for just a moment longer. Slowly though, those sinful hands were drifting down your bare sides until his fingers dug into the swell of your hips to yank you down until your ass was just barely kissing the edge of the bed. 
“These legs drive me fucking ballistic.” His sultry confession would have made you blush had you not already been spread open so vulnerably before him. Laden fingers dragged down your legs as he gathered them up to rest against his chest, turning his head to press salacious, open mouthed kisses along your calves. With a feather-light touch, he drifted up toward your ankle before tugging at the tie of your pointe shoes hungrily. That fervid, side-long glance he tossed your way as he worked the stiff shoes off you was nearly too intense to take head on, but there was a glint in his eyes that told you that you should know better than to look away. 
The offending shoes fell against the floor with a soft thud. The keen gaze he kept on you should have sent you sprinting, akin to an apex predator scouting its next meal. As you assured yourself just moments prior though, you knew better. So, you stayed perfectly still, save your heaving breaths, as he dug a small, gold foiled packet from his wallet, holding it between his teeth before working his belt off and allowing his pants to pool at his feet. 
There was the slightest hint of a pause as Ryo allowed the scene to settle in— to give you a chance to turn back at the very moment you’d left off on the last time your fates brushed this closely. That resistance never came though, and your ankles dug into his shoulders in anticipation. Your eyes fell on their own volition as he pushed his boxers down to join the rest of his clothes, and you thought you might swallow your own tongue in the midst of your shock. 
His erection sprang from its cotton prison, ever so gently brushing against your core in its escape. You shuddered at the sensation, but for once your tremors rooted not in fear but instead in an aching anticipation. Much like the rest of him, as you had assumed, he was intimidatingly… above average— not that you had much by way of comparison. Gulping down the saliva that seemed to pool dramatically on your tongue, you took note of the black rings that circled his upper thighs, and you couldn’t help but let your lips curl up at the sight. 
“What’re you smilin’ at, huh?” Ryomen teased through clenched teeth, the condom still hanging between his lips. An adoring smirk was splitting across his own face as he took the opportunity to pump leisurely as his leaking cock, using his free hand to smooth up your navel. 
“You just… match everywhere.” Your timid giggle had his length twitching in his grip, his intense gaze softening just a bit. Abandoning his caress against your lower half, he reached up to tear open the foil between his teeth.
“What— don’t like ‘em?” His husky question was followed by the teasing plap of his heavy cockhead on your sensitive bud. The amused smile on your lips quickly fell into a sharp gasp at the sensation. Sukuna hummed as he rolled the condom over his aching length before guiding it through your folds. 
“I love them.” Your sincere, breathless confession caught him off guard. “You look like… a piece of art, Ryo.”
For the first time since knowing him, you watched a genuine flush fall over his face at your words. Wide eyes were staring down at you as though he’d never received a compliment a day in his life, but, truthfully, he wasn’t sure anyone had ever bothered showing him such tenderness, always preferring to veer off his path lest they get caught in his crossfires. There was a barely noticeable tremble in his breath as he sighed out. 
“Art, huh? Nah.” He murmured, pushing forward until his tip dipped into your straining entrance. 
You cried out softly at the abrupt stretch, and he quickly hushed you with a soothing hand up your thigh. It felt so incredibly cathartic, enduring the dull pain at the hands of Ryomen. No matter how much you felt you might split in two as he gradually introduced each inch of himself into your honied heat, you would have done it all over again if it meant you’d be able to see that look on his face as he bottomed out. Eyes rolled back, fingers clutching at your thighs as they rested against his chest with a bruising grip, with a gaping mouth that curled up at the corners in a lingering, intoxicated smirk. 
He fell forward until your knees pushed up against your breasts, moving one hand to fist the sheets beside your head to pace himself as he licked at the tears rolling down your cheeks. 
“This is art.” Sukuna corrected as he dipped down to capture each, pained whimper that fell past your lips until it was your moans would soon compete against his favorite of artists, because if he was art then you must be a masterpiece. 
You slept with a serenity that rivaled a corpse that night, your dreams floating through clouds as your mind was utterly consumed by him. For the first time in weeks, something had rivaled the searing ache in your feet, and it was the dull reminder of Ryomen between your thighs— though you couldn’t possibly bring yourself to deem that particular pain unwelcomed as you stirred from your slumber. 
The frigid air bit at your bare skin, sending a tremor through your shoulders. Cracking your eyes open, you were greeted by the sight of the man so many seemed to fear, his lips gently pouted as half his face molded against your pink pillow sheet. You wondered if it was his perpetually defensive nature that made him sleep on his stomach, the idea putting an amused grin on your tired features as you observed how his arms clutched onto the pillow under his head. 
His legs were tangled into yours under the covers, giving you the vital information that he seemed to be putting out far more body heat than you could hope to at this hour. Shuffling closer to him, you carefully placed a hand under his arm in an attempt to lift it just enough to slip into his warm embrace for solace against the cold. 
“What’re you doin’, brat?” His gravelly voice cut through the morning silence, catching you red handed without ever having opened his eyes. 
Biting back the disappointment upon realizing that you weren’t nearly as stealthy as you thought, you smiled sheepishly despite his closed eyes. 
“I’m cold.” You whispered softly.
“No one told you to get this thin ass blanket.” He grumbled, and you let out a quiet huff of disappointment before turning over and pulling the covers tighter over yourself. It only took a mere few seconds though to hear the rustling of sheets behind you, and you were soon being enveloped in a bear-like embrace nonetheless. His arm dipped under your head to cross over your chest, and you smiled against the warmth of his forearm. “What’re you smiling for? Too fuckin’ early.” 
The fervent kisses he began pressing against your shoulder contradicted his grumpy rambling though, and he was soon nosing at your jaw for you to expose your neck to him. His teeth sank into the new area bared to him, and you arched against him just as his tongue began circling the attacked skin. 
“Hmm,” He hummed in a deep baritone, his hand running up your thigh before dipping down to where you still ached of him. “Better cancel whatever fuckin’ plans you had today.” 
Just as you nearly allowed yourself to succumb to him once more, his words sunk into your still barely functioning mind. 
“Oh my god!” You shrieked, shooting up from his grip and nearly tumbling off the bed as you reached for your phone. 
“Woah, woah, settle down. What the hell are you tweaking about?” Ryo groaned, rubbing at his now ringing ear as he propped himself up to watch you. 
“I’m late! Oh my god, I’m so late.” You rambled through trembling breaths. It was like watching a tornado ripping through your tiny room, clothes flying as you wrangled on whatever was closest to you. He quickly sat up at your frenzied movements. “I’m supposed to be at practice!”
“Hey, take a fucking breather, you’re gonna pass out.” 
“I can’t take a fucking breather, Ryomen!” His eyes widened at your uncharacteristic tone, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever heard such… unsavory language falling from your lips. Tears of frustration blurred your vision as you began shoving your abandoned pointe shoes haphazardly into your bag. “I keep messing everything up, I’m such a—”
“Nothing’s messed up—”
“Everything’s messed up!” You cried, grunting in frustration as you shoved your aching feet into your boots. “My foot is still messed up, my routine is messed up, my instructor thinks I’m a joke, and I’m about to screw everything up because I keep letting myself get distracted, and I—”
“Distracted?” Sukuna scoffed, pulling on his boxers as he stood up to follow you out of your bedroom. “Is that what I was fucking doing last night? Distracting you?” 
“I don’t have time for this right now, Ryo.” 
“Well you better find some fucking time before you mess this up too.” He regretted them as soon as the words left his mouth, but his entire nervous system had switched onto the defense at your ruthless undermining of what had transpired between you two last night.
 The wounded expression on your delicate face told him he should drop to his knees to beg your forgiveness, but the wounded pride of the rejected child in him refused to submit so easily. So, he simply stared back at you with that callous expression you hadn’t ever seen him dare direct your way. Wiping furiously at your traitorous tears, you slung your bag over your shoulder and left, slamming the front door behind you. 
That door had shut in his face five days ago, and you had yet to hear from him since. In hindsight, you knew that what you said was out of line, and it was clear that you had hurt him in a way that he would refuse to outwardly display. Sukuna would always bare his teeth before showing his belly— you knew that whole heartedly even after knowing him a mere few months. Still, his words stung, and you were too afraid of how the things he’d left unsaid might feel if you should reach out to him first in the midst of his anger. 
You tried to use his absence to your advantage, throwing yourself wholeheartedly into your now daily practices that went hours on end. Your grief, anger, and betrayal fueled each twist and turn, each leap you aimed to perfect until you could convince yourself it was worth what you had damaged in the name of your passion. Even when you finally received that pathetically anticipated approval from your instructor, it no longer felt as sweet. 
There was hardly time for you to wallow over Roy’s radio silence though, because Swan Lake was in a day, and you weren’t even sure that he’d still show up. The thought clutched at your chest, but you were quick to dismiss Satoru when he’d whispered his concerns into your ear during your final dress rehearsal. It felt as though you were back in that desperate solitude that had inadvertently veered you on his path in the first place. 
Sukuna had been pretending that it wasn’t eating him alive that you had yet to crack first, but he sure as hell wouldn’t do it. Everyone around him could tell though. He was quiet— even more so than usual, and the fuse that they were sure couldn’t get any shorter was blowing easier than ever. Choso was met with a biting snap when he dared to ask why he hadn’t seen you around lately, so he figured you must have something to do with it, and he’d be damned if he sat back and simply watched his brother fuck this up. 
“Hey,” Despite his determination, his tone was still careful as he approached the pink-haired man who was still hunched over his client, brows furrowed as he concentrated on the cat he was coloring in on the woman’s thigh. It so obnoxiously reminded him of you and the soft spot you held in your heart for the damned feral animals. Sukuna grunted in question at his half-brother. “You still coming to the show tonight?”
He paused his careful strokes for a fraction of a second before blinking away his frustration. 
“Why the hell wouldn’t I be?” 
His gruff response made Choso’s eyes roll in annoyance. It was so like him to pretend as though no one could tell that something was going on with him. 
“Well she just texted me to ask, so I figured there was a reason.”
It took every bit of restraint in him not to jolt in surprise and completely fuck up this client’s day. Why didn’t she text him? Why the hell did she feel more comfortable going to his damn brother than him? His jaw clicked as it clenched in indignation. An aggravated huff escaped him as he wiped at the woman’s tattoo and prepared to wrap it up. 
“You can tell her that if she wants to know that she can ask me her fucking self.” The dark-haired man’s brows rose at his brother’s tone, pursing his lips as he turned on his heels with a shake of his head, a motion that certainly didn't go over Sukuna’s head. “You got something to say?” 
“Other than you’re going to regret whatever the hell it is you’re sulking over in a few days? Nah, it’s all good. I’ll let her know that Yuji and I are still coming.” 
He didn’t give him a chance for a rebuttal before he made his way back up to the front. A grumbled tut left him as he cleaned the tattoo before him and began wrapping it. 
“That sketch is gorgeous.” The client commented as he busied himself with her wrap. He glanced up at her in question before following her gaze to the sketch that he’d created for you that night and inevitably inked on you. The original was still taped to his station, always having been his favorite reminder of you to get him through his shifts. “You the artist? I have a friend who would probably love to get that inked.” 
Faster than he could even fully process her request, he was adamantly shaking his head with a fierce defensiveness. Even through the haze of his hurt, he knew that that drawing would never grace the skin of anyone else— no one else would be worthy of a piece inspired by you, no one had the right. He couldn’t bear the thought of tainting its sanctity with the likes of some of the scum that came through here. 
“Out of commission.” He gruffed plainly, not bothering to grace the notion with an explanation. Ripping off his gloves, his eager fingers dug his phone from his back pocket, but he was only met with further disappointment at the realization that— no, you still hadn’t reached out. 
As he walked his client to the front, he could see his brother typing away adamantly on his phone, and it pissed him off to think of you on the other end of it with the reassurance that his damn brothers would be coming to support you tonight. 
Sukuna couldn’t drag himself outside fast enough, hiding under the guise of needing some air when, truthfully, he was tempted to rip the stupid fucking buns right off Choso’s head if he heard his phone ping one more time. It was his rage, that’s what he’d blame it on as his thumbs furiously pounded at the poor, unsuspecting screen of his phone before hitting send.
I’ll be there.
You were sure you would throw up if there had been anything in your stomach to begin with that day. With your nerves so overwhelmingly shot, you could barely stomach a few saltine crackers before even they were making you nauseous. 
Staring back at you in the mirror was the woman you had been fighting tooth and nail for for so long. The white, feathered headpieces sat snuggly against your temples and into the sides of your slicked-back bun. You almost didn’t recognize yourself in the dramatically winged, dark shadow that shrouded your eyes. 
You couldn’t be sure if the reassurance that Ryo would be coming despite your near week of radio silence comforted or intimidated you even more. 
From the closed door of your dressing room, you could hear the orchestra performing each intricate number as act one got the ball rolling. There were dancers in and out of the room, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move, stuck idly in your chair as you awaited act two to begin with your entrance. 
No matter how much you had soaked it, iced it, rolled it— goddamn it, prayed over it, your foot still throbbed under the constraints of your pointe shoes. It only needed to get through the next hour and a half— that’s the mantra that played like a broken record in your head in hopes of calming your very real fears of it failing you mid-performance. 
The minor piece of solace you had apart from that was that your sudden change in behavior had urged you and Satoru to get a bit more comfortable with each other as you had to begrudgingly explain to him why you had been a bit off your game. You were shocked when the man, who you were sure hadn’t a sincere bone in his body, reassured you that he’d be more cautious with you with each lift and land the two of you had ahead of you tonight given your injury. 
You watched with bated breath from the side stage as Satoru aimed the prop crossbow before turning to prance toward his stage left to mimic his hunt, the long awaited queue for your entrance. The peripherals of your vision blurred as you allowed your muscle memory to take over, and you were soon landing your grand jeté before dipping into your first bow as Odette. 
Ryomen felt each last puff of air in his lungs abandon him at the sight of you with your breathtakingly intricate, snow-white costume, truly embodying a princess. He had admittedly been growing restless throughout the first half hour of the production without so much as a glimpse of you. Now though, as the glimmering crown tucked into your hair shimmered under the stage lights, he was sure he’d wait it tenfold to relive the magnetic way you commanded the stage upon your first arabesque. 
The grip he had around the base of the bouquet he’d brought you tightened as he watched you and your partner float about the stage, twisting and turning against and around each other with a synchronicity that embodied just how much dedication you two had put into your performative chemistry— at least that’s what he hoped as your noses brushed in an almost kiss. 
Not even in his wildest dreams would he have thought he’d ever find himself sitting through a two-hour ballet, but you had him completely enraptured. He recalled what you had mentioned about the recruiters that would be coming to this performance, and he knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was your night. The recruiters had to be captivated by you— just as every soul that was surrounding him seemed to be. 
As the show progressed, it was clear how you lost yourself inch by inch to Odette, and you soon weren’t sure where you ended and she began. You had just been starting to convince yourself that you’d make it. There was but a half hour left, and though you could feel your injured foot growing angrier and angrier with each pointed formation, you were pushing it to the back of your mind, something to be dealt with later. 
But somewhere after the fourteenth of the iconic thirty-two fouettes in a row you had to execute as your darker counterpart, Odile, was perhaps the beginning of the end for your optimism. As fate would have it, each gruelling fouette was meant to be spun off of that fucking foot, and by the end of them you were sure your face was tinted red from the way you held back your cries of pain. 
Ryomen could see it too, despite how well you disguised it as an expression of passion. His fingers dug deeper and deeper into his thighs with each spin during the sequence, because he could practically feel that bruised foot crumbling under such pressure. Despite it all— you did it, and, not only that, you made it appear damn near effortless. 
It was nearing the final number now, and he had been watching your eyes morph with each second that passed. Perhaps it wasn’t clear to anyone else, but he knew that glassy look wasn’t just your impeccable dedication to the scene. You had been changed back into your white swan costume, taking the stage with both Prince Seigfried and Rothbart as you gracefully dashed yourself between the arms of each man. It wasn’t until the final leap that Satoru would catch you from that you felt it.
Just as your pointed foot hit the stage floor, you could all but hear the tiniest of cracks. Your breath hitched, a nearly muted choke catching in your throat that luckily the audience couldn’t hear over the orchestra. Satoru did though, his hands on your waist tightening as he attempted to subtly lift you ever so slightly to take some of the weight off your foot. A whimper lingered in the back of your throat as the pain radiated up your leg. 
“It’s okay.” Your white-haired partner whispered subtly so as not to break the illusion of the performance. “You just have to make it to the lake.” 
His near silent reassurance into your ear was fleeting as you spun away from him. Make it to the lake. The words were chanting like a mantra in your head. 
Ryomen thought the armrest of his seat would snap under the pressure of his grip, watching in horror as a single tear slipped down your cheek upon that fateful landing, and he knew something had gone wrong. Judging by the way your partner seemed to subtly lean in to whisper in your ear, he knew he was right.
Still, your remaining bourrees across the stage were flawlessly executed despite you feeling the likely fracture in your foot arguably worsening with each step, and Odette was finally taken up into the arms of Rothbart, lifted high above his head to take her behind the veil of the lake to die— and that’s certainly what it felt like you were doing. 
Sukuna was out of his seat before Prince Seigfried could even properly fall to his knees to mourn the loss of his love, practically hopping over seats to get to the back. It was proven difficult, what with all the attendees rising to their feet to offer a standing ovation as the show concluded. Finally making it out of the row, he shouldered into attendants and workers until he found the backstage entrance sign. 
A worker placed a hand on his shoulder to inform him that he wasn’t authorized to go back there, but he knew the man wasn’t about to be stupid enough to fight him if he pushed his way through those doors anyway. There were troves of ballet dancers moving like ants through the hallways, all looking up at him in bewilderment as he pounded toward the dressing room at the end of the hall. 
“Oi, you all had better be fucking decent cause I’m coming in!” It was the only warning he gave along with the three cautionary pounds against the door before he burst in. There in the far back surrounded by a myriad of frazzled dancers was you, still hauntingly enchanting in your Swan Queen costume as you heaved out cries against the cold floor. The pointe shoe on your injured foot had already been wrangled off, and Satoru was frantically tearing your tights between his fingers from the ankle down to observe the damage. 
You looked up at the sudden commotion. The dramatic, black makeup that had been so intricately painted onto your face was now streaming down your cheeks in ugly, noir waves as your face scrunched up heartbreakingly at the sight of him standing before you. 
“Ryo.” You choked out helplessly between your heaving sobs of pain, and he felt his heart shatter all at once. Parting through the sea of dancers, he shoved at the white-haired man’s shoulder. 
“Move the fuck outta my way.” Sukuna bit out, probably much harsher than necessary for someone who seemed to be trying to help, but he did just watch this dude grabbing at your waist and thighs and caressing your face for damn near two hours straight. And sure, he knew it was all part of the performance, but fuck you didn’t warn him that you’d actually be kissing the dude. In spite of it all, Satoru didn’t need to be told twice before he was standing to let him take over. 
“I-I think it’s broken. I can’t m-move it—” 
“It’s okay, I’m right here.” He urged, his fingers just barely ghosting over your calf as he took in the sight of your mangled foot. It had swollen considerably within the confines of your pointe shoe over the past few hours, and the nearly black skin was hot to the touch. 
“The recruiters, Ryo— I screwed it up, I—” 
“Fuck the recruiters, I’m taking you to the fucking hospital.” You didn’t get much of a word in edgewise as he scooped you up, darting through the parted crowd and out the back exit. 
Though he wasn’t quite sure what he would say if given the chance, your frenzied sobs filled the air around you two the entire drive. He tried to calm you, but it was proven difficult with his split attention on the road. It also wasn’t clear if your cries were mainly attributed to the pain or the mental anguish. Still, with sweat beginning to bead at his temples, he grasped at your hand and placed it over his chest in a desperate attempt to get you to match his breathing. Although it seemed like you were truly trying, you continued choking up with each throb of your foot. 
Sukuna’s perpetual feeling of being absolutely worthless continued as you sat silently in the hospital bed, only your occasional sniffles breaking through the white noise of the room as you awaited the okay from the doctor to be discharged. The xray they performed confirmed your suspicions, and you had been suffering from a stress fracture. He sat in the stiff chair beside your bed, hunched over with his elbows resting on his thighs as you stared blankly at the stark white cast now covering your foot and ankle. 
Neither of you were quite sure what to say to one another. Your current state was… delicate, and he wasn’t sure that bringing up the fight would be the best idea for you right now. Clearing his throat awkwardly, he straightened his posture, eyes fluttering over you apprehensively before he cast his line out. 
“I don’t know how you do it.” He confessed sincerely, watching as your eyes cast a sidelong glance at him. 
“What, manage to fracture my foot during one of the most important performances of my life?” 
“How you let yourself feel so much for everyone to see.” His response made you flush, your brows furrowinf as you looked away from him once again. 
“I couldn’t really help it, my bone was kind of split—”
“I’m not talking about your damn foot, doll.” Ryomen sighed in exasperation. It was already difficult enough for him to be so sincere in his appreciation, and your making him spell it out was twisting the knife in his already wounded pride. “The show. I… I ain’t ever seen anything like that before. You’re just not fucking scared of yourself.” 
Twisting your arms around yourself, you gulped down whatever emotions his words seemed to ignite in you. 
“Yeah, well it doesn’t matter now. I screwed it all up.” 
“Bullshit, you had everyone hanging off their fucking seats.” 
“And they all watched me ruin it with that— that stupid landing.”
Sukuna blinked harshly in disbelief at your self-critictism. With an incredulous laugh, he leaned forward to look you in the eyes. 
“You played that shit off like nothing happened. No one noticed.” 
“You noticed.”
“Yeah, cause I fucking love you.” It tumbled out his mouth faster than he could have reeled it back in. For the second time that night, he was struck by the gruelling confusion of how the fuck it came so easily to you to pour your heart out, because it felt like he was chewing on glass right now as he awaited your response. Your glassy eyes finally looked up at him, face stained by makeup and disbelief. It all showed so clearly on your face, so bravely and unabashedly. It made him want to stand resolute for something for once in his pathetic life. “I love you.”
Soon, your lip was trembling once again as a fresh stream of tears stung at your already burning eyes. Burying your face into your hands, you shook your head. 
“I said such awful things to you, Ryo.” You cried into your palms, the guilt that had been festering over the gruelling week finally coming to fruition without the distraction of your performance to keep your mind from dwelling on it. “Y-You were just trying to help me—”
“Hey, I say mean shit all the time,” He reassured, moving from his chair to squeeze beside you in the bed. “You should’ve beat the shit outta me if we’re really trying to get equal.”
Your back shook, and he knew this time it was finally from your laughter instead of those gut-wrenching sobs that had been frequenting his ears. Desperate to catch a glimpse of your smile after so long of being met with your frown, he gently pried your hands away from your face. Ryo sighed wistfully at the sight of your wobbly grin, reaching up to wipe at the smudged makeup under your eyes. 
“You look more like a fucking racoon than a swan right now.” Your teary-eyed gaze didn’t seem to help his lack of brain-to-mouth filter at all, and he smirked at his own pathetically weak restraint. “See? I should’ve gotten my teeth knocked out for that one.”
But, of course, you only smiled at him— that glimmering eyed smile that even after all this time he felt so undeserving of. 
“Well, you’re lucky I love you then, huh?” 
His heart pounded embarrassingly against his chest, blanketed with the safety of your reciprocity. 
“The luckiest bastard I know.” He whispered before pressing a kiss gentler than he was accustomed to against your awaiting lips. 
There was a soft knock at the door that had him sighing in frustration against your face, but he pulled away from you nonetheless. When the door cracked open, it wasn’t the doctor as the both of you had been hoping so you could get the hell out of here. Instead, Choso and Yuji both filed in hesitantly as though they weren’t sure what kind of energy they’d be met with. When you smiled brightly at the sight of the various flowers in their arms, the pair felt more at ease as they stepped fully into the room. 
“That was the most metal shit I’ve ever seen in my life.” Choso was the first to gush excitedly, setting down both his and Sukuna’s abandoned bouquet in your lap. 
“So sick— I can’t believe you just walked that shit off!” Yuji was rushing to the far wall of the room to snatch the marker off the whiteboard containing the nurse’s information on it. He continued to ramble enthusiastically as he sat himself at the foot of your bed to doodle on your cast. Your eyes fluttered between him and his twin, and it was a bit disorienting seeing them side by side for the first time. “You’re a total badass.” 
“Oi, easy with her fucking foot, brat.” Ryomen grumbled as he flicked his brother in the forehead, already annoyed at both his brothers for butting into you two’s moment. 
It was clear that his bright-eyed counterpart was used to his brash nature as he completely brushed it off, tongue poking out the corner of his mouth as he concentrated on his drawing of what you could only assume was supposed to be a swan. It was clear his twin got all the artistic ability while Yuji was left with all the sunshine. As if his drawing triggered his memory, he quickly perked up. 
“The casting was crazy too! That girl playing the black swan seriously looked just like you.”
A quiet disbelief fell over the three of you as the boy continued marking up your cast. 
“Yuji—”
“Don’t bother,” Ryo quickly stopped you from correcting him with what could only be described as a fierce look of exhaustion on his face. “He’s a little slow— it’ll come to him.”
All the artistry and the brains— got it.
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gojo and itafushi crumbs because your girl is starving
masterlist | requests | talk to me ❤︎
I love hearing everyone's thoughts! ◝⠀(ᵔᵕᵔ)⠀◜
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hiraethwrote · 1 day ago
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contents : no pronouns but written with f!reader in mind, eating, established relationship, very self indulgent/selfship coded, insecure reader, a little hurt to comfort ig, sprinkle of angst, fluff, no use of y/n wc < 1k
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you didn’t like how the question had just slipped out, your insecurities getting the best of you. it wasn’t a side of yourself you liked to give attention to, but once the spiral started it was hard to stop it.
and it caused your boyfriend to sit with the smuggest smirk of mockery smeared across his face, and an eyebrow quirked in amusement.
“don’t look at me like that,” you retaliate against his look, earning you a low mixture of a scoff and a chuckle. it causes you to shrink in your seat, simply picking at your food with your fork.
“it’s a dumb question,” he states simply, the sly curve of his lips never losing an ounce of smugness.
“it’s not,” you mumble mostly to yourself as you avert your gaze to ogle mindlessly at the meal in front of you. you know there isn’t any ill intent in satoru's witty comments — there rarely is — you just aren’t in a state of mind where his silly jokes do you any good, your insecurities quickly deafening any sense of reason.
there’s a moment of silence, where it seems like the conversation has come to an end as quickly as it sprouted, leaving you to wallow even more in your own self deprecating mind before satoru quickly resurrects it.
“of course we would find each other in every universe.”
without hesitation, you tilt your head back up to direct all your attention at him again, staring big eyed at him with your lips parted in delightful surprise.
“what?” he asks, pausing mid bite. you try to read his face, see if there’s any bit of that classic satoru joking tone snuck into his confession — you find none.
“you’re saying it as if it’s so obvious.”
“because it is?” he shrugs nonchalantly before letting his teeth sink into the food for another bite.
the insecurity has slowly turned into interrogation, narrowing your eyebrows and leaning back in your chair, folding your arms across your chest. with a deep exhale, he drops his fork, folds his arms and leans forward on the table, the subtlest smirk stamped at the corner of his lips again.
“i just feel it.”
“you just feel it?”
“uh huh.”
“how exactly do you feel it.”
“you’re so deeply ingrained in me, so i know our connections travels dimensions.”
with his beautiful blue eyes staring into the deepest parts of your soul, the parts only he has been able to reach, he takes your breath away.
and as easy as that, he sends your insecurities astray — just like he always does.
then you see it, all over him, the love he has for you that he always carries so proudly on his sleeve.
it’s in the softness in his eyes when they have the privilege of looking at you. it’s in the crinkles by his eyes from falling asleep with a smile on his face when you’re in his arms. it’s on his lips when they curve, no matter how wide or slanted, always caused by the thought of you. and it’s in his shoulders, when your presence allows him to relax, finding no sound more peaceful then the sound of your voice.
because what you deem to be your flaws, satoru views as gifts.
he has never thought that your laugh grows too loud or obnoxious. to him it’s a reminder of life, and a clear sign that happiness is running through you. never has it crossed his mind that you might talk too much, knowing he could simply sit until the end of time and listen to you ramble.
satoru's smile quickly falters when he sees a shy pool well up along your waterline. “no, hey-“ he stutters, a little confused as he rises from his chair. before you even have the chance to comprehend his actions, he’s already stood behind you in your chair, wrapping his strong arms around you, his face pressed up against the side of yours. “if i said anything wrong…” he trails off, and you feel his embrace tighten.
a sad, little chuckle escapes you. “you didn’t,” it comes out weak but you know he hears you. you let your hands grab ahold of his forearms and squeeze, the only thing you feel like you can physically do to show him you’re okay as the tears slowly roll down your cheeks. “quite the opposite, really,” you sniffle.
“oh,” then he’s quiet for a moment, before you feel that smile return to his face. “you’re quite dramatic, aren’t you?”
he manages to draw a brighter laugh from your lips. “learned from you.”
“aah, that’s why you’re so good at it.”
“i’m sorry,” you whisper, leaning into his comfort, feeling so small as he continues to hold you. his embrace is so secure it feels like he’ll never let go — and he knows he wouldn’t, if that’s what you needed.
“what are you sorry for?” he asks softly, his words of worry only able to be heard by you.
your shoulders rise in a restricted shrug. “being dramatic, as you said.” as the words travel past your tongue, you feel his arms flex tighter around you — if that’s even possible.
“stop that.” you feel his thumb slowly stroke you. “it’s okay. and i’ll always be here to calm you down.”
for a second you just take in his promise of devotion, and nod in agreement. “okay.”
“besides,” he breathes. “you’ll never be more dramatic than me, so i think we’ll be good.”
once again he manages to make you laugh, and his heart flutters.
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©hiraethwrote 2025 . all rights reserved. reposting, translating and otherwise plagarisim is prohibited
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loverangels · 2 days ago
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webbed in desire
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pairings: tasm!peter x fem!reader
synopsis: Peter really likes your Spiderman pajama pants
warnings: kinda suggestive
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Peter Parker swung into your apartment window mid-sentence, mask pulled halfway up his face as he rambled about patrol. “And, seriously, who even owns a unicycle anymore? Like, that’s gotta be—”
He stopped abruptly, mid-step, when his eyes landed on you.
You were sitting at your vanity, totally unaware of the effect you were having on him. Your head was tilted slightly as you concentrated on whatever you were holding—maybe a bottle of lotion, maybe a tube of lip balm, he couldn’t even tell because his attention had zeroed in on something else entirely.
It was the pants.
The red and blue Spider-Man pajama pants that hung low on your hips, decorated with tiny web patterns and logos. His logo. Paired with your black tank top, the whole look made him forget how to breathe for a second.
“Are you—” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, his mask now forgotten in his hand. “Are those... Spider-Man pajamas?”
You glanced up, catching his reflection in the mirror. The corner of your mouth quirked into a grin, like you’d been waiting for him to notice. “Uh-huh,” you said casually, like it wasn’t a big deal. “Cute, right?”
Peter blinked, still standing near the window like his feet had been glued to the floor. “Cute?” He let out a short laugh, dragging a hand down his face. “No, no. You don’t get to call that cute. That’s—damn, baby. That’s a problem.”
Turning in your chair, you swiveled to face him, laughing softly at the look on his face. “Oh! I almost forgot to show you the full effect.”
You stood up, giving a playful little spin that made the fabric swish around your legs. When you stopped, your hands went to your hips, and you grinned at him like you knew exactly what you were doing.
Peter groaned, running his hand through his hair as he finally pushed away from the window and crossed the room in three long strides. His hands found your waist as he pulled you against him, his thumbs brushing along the waistband of the pants.
“I can’t even be mad about this,” he murmured, his voice low and teasing. “You look so good with me all over you. Pun very much intended.”
Your grin turned mischievous as you leaned closer, your breath warm against his skin. “Well, I can’t wait for you to see what I’ve got on underneath.”
Peter blinked, his grip on your waist tightening slightly as his brain tried to catch up. “Underneath?”
With a sly smile, you stepped back just enough to hook your thumbs into the waistband of the pants, pulling them down just enough to reveal a peek of red and blue. The Spider-Man bra and panties were unmistakable—the webbed details, the tiny logos, the way they hugged your skin perfectly.
Peter stared, his mouth falling open slightly as his eyes darted between your face and the glimpse of fabric. For a moment, it seemed like he couldn’t even speak, his brain short-circuiting entirely.
“Oh no,” you teased, crossing your arms and tilting your head. “Did I break Spider-Man?”
He let out a breathless laugh, his hands running through his hair as he closed the space between you again. “You’re insane,” he muttered, his hands sliding back to your waist as he leaned down, his lips hovering just above yours. “And I am obsessed with you.”
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prince-beetle · 21 hours ago
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( ai rant because I’m passionate about this subject)
This was worded really really well and I absolutely stand by everything being said here.
I don’t draw because I think I’m good at it, because there was a point where all I had were ideas, scratch.mit.edu and a trackpad. Art is about expression and half of the beauty of art is seeing how much my work has changed over the years, and making the decisions to practice and improve. I have only ever looked back on my old work with fondness.
Do I like making pretty stuff? Yeah! Am I disappointed when my skill level isn’t high enough to make what I have in mind? Absolutely, because it’s human to feel disappointment! But I would never be impatient enough to turn to AI to make it for me. It would be like sacrificing my entire soul.
A lot of what makes me sad about the AI debate is that so many of the pro-ai people view artists like we’re trying to gatekeep creative expression from them, which I don’t believe has ever been the case. Make beginner art! Make slightly shitty art with anatomy mistakes! Shade with pure black and the airbrush tool! Have your anime eyes phase! No matter what your skill level is, it will be beautiful because it is yours, and I have always stood by that.
Anyways, that’s my ai ramble for today. The topic makes me so so uncomfortable most of the time but I wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere.
Go make art! Go have fun!
As gen-AI becomes more normalized (Chappell Roan encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use gen-AI because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by tech companies. I draw not because I want a drawing but because I love the process of drawing. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.
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pbaz7 · 3 days ago
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AGAINST THE TIDE: PART SIX
paige x azzi
word count: 4.7k
A/N: This is just a cute little chapter to show how much their dynamic has grown/changed. There will be a few time jumps after this because we’ll never get anywhere otherwise 😭. I love all the live reactions and comments I’ve been getting, they’re actually hilarious.
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After spending the night in Paige’s room, the two of them got impossibly closer. When they woke up the next morning, Paige invited Azzi to tag along to her physical therapy session. Azzi of course agreed, and from that moment on, they spent every waking hour together for the rest of the short winter break. Whether it was in rehab, watching movies in Paige’s room, or going out for a sweet treat in the middle of the night at Azzi’s request, they became inseparable.
When they returned to UConn after Christmas, it was the exact same. It was rare to see one without the other. Both of them were sidelined with injuries, which only gave them more excuses to stay close. During games, they sat on the bench together, Paige talking Azzi’s ear off about strategy, stats, and whatever random thoughts crossed her mind. Azzi didn’t mind; she found Paige’s rambling endearing, even when it meant missing part of the game on the court.
Off the bench, they poured themselves into helping the team however they could. They watched hours of film together, analyzing plays and finding ways to improve their teammates’ performance with so many of them sidelined with injuries. Huddled around a laptop in the locker room or sprawled out on the floor of Paige’s dorm, their heads often ended up leaning close enough that their shoulders brushed. Neither pulled away.
Neither of them brought up the new dynamic between them. It was like there was a silent agreement to ignore the feelings simmering just beneath the surface. They told themselves it was easier this way, to focus on recovery and basketball. But the excuses only went so far.
Their stolen glances during film sessions lasted a second too long. The casual touches—Paige nudging Azzi’s knee when she made a good point, or Azzi grabbing Paige’s forearm to drag her somewhere or emphasize her own thoughts—left feelings between both of them. Paige’s heart raced every time Azzi’s hand lingered on hers, while Azzi found herself melting into a puddle by the way Paige’s voice softened when they were alone. A softness she only seemed to have for Azzi.
Still, they stayed in the safe lane of ‘friendship’ burying their feelings beneath layers of banter and shared routines. To them that seemed to work but to anyone else looking at their dynamic it definitely seemed like they were in a relationship. The two of them basically teased and flirted with one another nonstop.
January 2022
Today was no different. They were currently on the road, heading back to Connecticut after taking a quick trip to see Paige’s surgeon for her check-up. The car was quiet except for the hum of the engine and the faint sound of music playing from the speakers. Paige was driving, her hands relaxed on the wheel, and Azzi was trying her best to focus on anything but her.
It wasn’t easy. Azzi wasn’t used to seeing Paige behind the wheel—usually, she was the passenger, sprawled out and carefree. But now that Paige could drive she insisted on doing it every time and Azzi could never stop glancing over at her. The way Paige’s jawline looked when she would clinch it at someone doing something stupid in front of her, the subtle furrow of her brow as she concentrated on the road, or, worst of all, the way her long fingers gripped the steering wheel, knuckles flexing slightly.
Azzi swallowed hard, her thoughts wandering somewhere they absolutely shouldn’t be. She blinked, forcing herself to look straight ahead, but her gaze betrayed her almost immediately, drifting back to the blonde.
Paige caught her. She glanced over, catching Azzi’s lingering stare, and a slow smirk spread across her face. “What?” Paige asked, her voice laced with amusement.
Azzi groaned at being caught, throwing her head back against the seat. “Stop driving like that.”
Paige laughed, the sound warm and teasing as she gave her a quick side glance. “Like what, Azzi?”
Azzi waved her arms in Paige’s direction, clearly flustered. “Like that! You know what you’re doing.”
Paige grinned wider, unable to hide how much she was enjoying this. “I’m literally just driving. You’re the one making it weird.”
Azzi let out a frustrated noise, crossing her arms and slouching slightly in her seat. “No, you’re doing something. I don’t know what, but it’s distracting.”
Paige chuckled, shifting her grip on the wheel—whether to mess with Azzi or just to adjust, Azzi couldn’t tell, but it didn’t help. “Well, I hate to break it to you, but this is how I always drive. Guess you’ll just have to deal with it.”
Azzi shot her a glare but couldn’t suppress the small smile tugging at her lips. “You’re so annoying, you know that?”
Paige glanced over briefly, her smirk softening into something more playful. “Yeah, but you clearly like it.”
Azzi huffed, turning her gaze out the window to avoid giving Paige the satisfaction of seeing her flustered. But her resolve didn’t last long. Her eyes betrayed her, flickering back to Paige’s hands on the steering wheel. The way her fingers flexed just slightly, the grip firm and sure—it was ridiculous how something so mundane could have Azzi’s thoughts spiraling.
Paige caught her again, and her smirk deepened. “Are you seriously doing it again dude?”
Azzi groaned, slouching in her seat. “Oh my God, stop.”
“Stop what?” Paige asked innocently, purposefully shifting her grip on the wheel, her fingers flexing just a little more dramatically this time.
Azzi covered her face with her hands, her voice muffled as she muttered, “I hate you so much.”
Paige laughed, the sound light and teasing. “No, you don’t.” She shifted her hands again, dragging the moment out, clearly enjoying Azzi’s growing frustration.
“Paige,” Azzi warned, her voice low, though it lacked any real bite.
“What?” Paige asked, feigning innocence as she glanced over at her. “I’m just driving.”
Azzi groaned, leaning back in her seat. “Oh my God, just stop. Why do you even drive like that?”
“Like what?” Paige asked innocently.
Azzi let out a frustrated noise and covered her face with her hands. “You’re doing it on purpose now. I know you are.”
Paige chuckled, her laugh warm and teasing. “Maybe.” She then switched driving hands as she dropped her right hand from the wheel, letting it fall casually onto Azzi’s leg.
Azzi froze, her breath hitching as Paige’s fingers rested just above her knee, her touch light but deliberate. Her wide eyes snapped to Paige, who kept her gaze firmly on the road, her smirk now bordering on a full grin.
“What are you doing?” Azzi demanded, her voice higher than she intended.
Paige shrugged, her tone casual. “Nothing. Just resting my hand. Relax.”
Azzi’s hands shot up in disbelief, gesturing toward the offending hand on her leg. “Relax? Are you kidding me? Move your hand before you crash!”
Paige laughed, giving her thigh the faintest squeeze before replying, “I’m not gonna crash from touching your leg, Azzi. Chill.”
Azzi groaned, squeezing her eyes shut for a second before snapping, “Fine! Move it before I lose my mind.”
Paige’s laugh deepened as she finally slid her hand back to the wheel. “You’re so easy to mess with.”
Azzi groaned, slumping into her seat and covering her face again. “I hate you. I actually hate you.”
“No, you don’t,” Paige replied, glancing over with a playful glint in her eye. “Admit it, you like when I mess with you.”
Azzi huffed but couldn’t suppress the warmth spreading across her face—or the tiny smile tugging at her lips. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”
Paige smirked, her confidence only growing. “I’m not the one having a heart attack over getting their leg touched.”
Azzi glared at her but couldn’t fight the laugh bubbling out. She shook her head, muttering under her breath. “I’m going to lose my mind before we get back to Connecticut.”
Paige glanced at her again, the teasing replaced with something softer, though her smirk lingered. “Wouldn’t have it any other way,” she murmured, her voice quieter but no less bold.
Azzi bit her lip, forcing herself to look out the window again, but she couldn’t hide the way her cheeks burned—or the way her heart raced whenever Paige pushed her buttons just like this.
The teasing had died down as the miles stretched on, replaced by a comfortable silence. Azzi was staring out the window, watching the trees blur past, but her mind was thinking about any and everything related to the girl sitting next to her. She glanced at Paige, her jaw set in quiet concentration as she navigated the highway. Finally, Azzi broke the silence.
“Can I ask you something?”
Paige raised an eyebrow, glancing over briefly. “Yeah, of course.”
Azzi hesitated, her fingers fidgeting in her lap. “Why did everyone used to be so worried about you? I remember hearing stuff, but no one really explained. And when I started going with you it was never that bad so why’d they make it such a big deal before?”
Paige’s hands tightened slightly on the wheel. She let out a slow breath, her eyes fixed on the road ahead. “That’s... kind of a long-ish story.”
Azzi turned toward her, leaning slightly against the door. “We’ve got time.” Her voice was soft, no pressure, just genuine curiosity.
Paige laughed lightly, though there wasn’t much humor in it. “Okay, but you can’t freak out, it was a long time ago, alright?”
Azzi frowned but nodded. “Alright.”
Paige shifted in her seat, adjusting her grip on the wheel. “It was after the Final Four. A couple of weeks after we lost. I just... wasn’t in a good place. I blamed myself for everything—every missed shot, every mistake. It felt like I let everyone down. So, I did what I always do. I locked myself in the gym.”
Azzi’s brow furrowed. “For how long?”
Paige shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. “A couple of days, maybe?I didn’t realize I wasn’t really eating or drinking water. Just working out, watching film, shooting until I couldn’t stand anymore.” She gave a small, self-deprecating laugh. “Literally.”
Azzi’s stomach twisted. “What do you mean?”
“Evina found me passed out,” Paige admitted quietly, her voice almost lost under the hum of the car. “It was just dehydration and not eating enough, nothing serious. But after that, everyone started treating me like I was fragile or something.”
Azzi stared at her, the air catching in her throat. “Paige...”
“It wasn’t a big deal,” Paige said quickly, waving it off. “Dehydration, low blood sugar—nothing serious.”
“That is serious,” Azzi countered, her tone sharp with concern.
Paige shrugged, a faint bitterness in her smile. “Maybe. But at the time, it felt like I deserved it, you know? I wasn’t happy, Az. Not with basketball, not with myself. I basically hated myself. It was like... no matter how much time I spent in the gym, it didn’t make up for how I felt. I just wanted to work hard enough to forget, but instead, I ended up running myself into the ground.”
Azzi’s brow furrowed as she processed Paige’s words. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
Paige let out a soft laugh. “Who? Tell them what? That I couldn’t handle the pressure? That I felt like a failure? Everyone was looking at me to bounce back, to lead, to be Paige Bueckers. I couldn’t let them see me crack.” She paused, her voice barely above a whisper. “I felt so alone. Like no one understood what I was going through. So I didn’t talk to anyone and just spent my days in the gym.”
Azzi’s chest tightened. “Paige, that’s... I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe you went through all of that by yourself.”
“I didn’t really have a choice,” Paige murmured. “It’s not exactly the kind of thing you can just explain to people.”
Azzi opened her mouth to respond, but Paige spoke first. “My knee’s starting to ache a little.” She glanced at Azzi, her tone lighter but her eyes searching. “There’s a diner at the next exit. Let’s stop for a bit.”
Azzi frowned slightly, sensing something beneath the excuse, but nodded. “Yeah, okay. You sure you’re good?”
“Yeah,” Paige said, her lips curving into a faint smile. “I just... want to sit for a bit. And, you know, look at you while we talk instead of staring at the road.”
Azzi felt her cheeks warm at the admission but said nothing as Paige took the exit.
Once they were seated in a quiet booth at the corner of the diner, Azzi finally spoke. “I didn’t know it was that bad for you.”
Paige stirred her water with her straw, her expression contemplative. “I didn’t either, not at first. I thought I could handle it. But looking back... I was just running from how I felt.” She glanced up at Azzi, her eyes soft. “You know what I mean?”
Azzi nodded slowly. “Yes actually. When I tore my ACL, I thought my career was over. I didn’t want to get out of bed, let alone go to rehab. My parents practically had to drag me out of the house some days and force me to shower. I felt like I’d never be the same player again, like I let everyone down. It was... dark for a while.”
Paige leaned forward to let Azzi know she was listening. “How did you get through it?”
Azzi shrugged. “Time, mostly. And people not giving up on me, even when I gave up on myself. But it’s still hard, you know? Some days, it still feels like the world’s too heavy to carry.”
Paige nodded, her gaze steady on Azzi. “Yeah. I get that.”
They fell into a comfortable silence, the kind where neither of them felt the need to fill the space. Paige finally broke it with a soft laugh. “You’re really easy to talk to, you know that?”
Azzi smiled, her eyes warm. “So are you.”
As they sat there, the hum of the diner around them, Paige felt a strange sense of peace settle over her.
The conversation deepened as they sat in the quiet corner of the diner, their voices low but steady. Paige found herself opening up about things she hadn’t thought about in years, things she’d never told anyone else—her childhood, her family, the moments that shaped her love for basketball. Azzi listened intently, chiming in with her own stories. They talked for hours and didn’t even notice.
“You were a troublemaker as a kid, huh?” Paige teased, leaning back in the booth.
Azzi grinned. “Not trouble, exactly. I just had... energy. My mom says I never sat still, which is probably why sports were the only thing that worked for me.”
Paige smirked. “Explains a lot.”
Azzi nudged her foot under the table. “And you? Let me guess—perfect student, teacher’s pet, MVP of the kickball team?”
Paige chuckled. “Something like that. I always wanted to be the best at everything, even if it didn’t matter. Like, who cares if you’re the fastest at spelling quizzes?”
“Apparently you did,” Azzi teased, her smile softening. “That competitive streak must’ve made you fun to grow up with.”
Paige shrugged, her tone turning reflective. “It was a lot of pressure, though. Some of it I put on myself, but a lot came from... expectations. Like, if I wasn’t the best, what was the point?”
Azzi nodded in understanding. “I get that. I think that’s why I struggled so much after my injury. For so long, basketball was who I was. When I couldn’t play, it felt like I didn’t know myself anymore. I didn’t know what to do day in and day out.”
Paige reached across the table, her fingers brushing Azzi’s hand briefly before she pulled back. “I’m really glad you didn’t give up.”
Azzi’s eyes softened. “Me too.”
Their waiter approached, setting down Azzi’s dessert—a large slice of chocolate cake with a swirl of whipped cream on top. Paige shook her head, laughing softly. “Of course you’d order that.”
Azzi picked up her fork with a grin. “What can I say? I’m predictable.” She took a bite, humming in satisfaction before holding a forkful out toward Paige. “Here, try it.”
Paige wrinkled her nose. “You’re always trying to get me to eat sugar.”
“Because it’s not as fun when I have to eat it by myself,” Azzi shot back, waving the fork in front of her. “C’mon, just one bite. It’s really good.”
Paige sighed dramatically but leaned forward, letting Azzi feed her the bite of cake. She chewed, her face carefully neutral before finally swallowing. “Okay, fine. It’s good.”
Azzi smirked, leaning back triumphantly. “Told you.”
When the check came, Paige didn’t give Azzi a chance to reach for her wallet. She slid her card into the leather folder and handed it to the waiter without a word.
Azzi arched a brow. “You never even let me try to pay for anything.”
Paige shrugged, standing up and grabbing her coat. “You’ll get the next one.”
“Next one?” Azzi echoed, a teasing lilt in her voice.
Paige glanced over her shoulder. “Unless this is the last road trip we ever take together?”
Azzi shook her head, laughing as they headed back to the car. The air outside was crisp, but Paige felt warm, the lingering glow of their conversation following her as she slid into the driver’s seat.
Azzi settled in beside her, glancing over as Paige started the engine. “You know,” she said softly, “I like this.”
Paige glanced at her. “What?”
“This,” Azzi said, gesturing between them. “Whatever this is. Us just... being.”
Paige smiled, her heart full in a way she couldn’t quite put into words. “Yeah. Me too.”
By the time they pulled into the parking lot in Connecticut, the car was silent except for the low hum of the engine. Azzi was sound asleep, her head resting gently against the window, her breaths slow and even. Paige turned off the car and let herself sit for a moment, her eyes drifting over to Azzi. She took in the way the soft moonlight highlighted her features, her peaceful expression making Paige’s chest tighten.
Paige smiled to herself, leaning back in her seat. “You’re so beautiful,” she whispered under her breath, the words barely audible.
Reaching out, Paige gently ran her hand down the side of Azzi’s face, her fingers brushing her cheek lightly. The touch caused Azzi to stir, her brows furrowing as she slowly blinked awake.
“Hey,” Paige said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “We’re back.”
Azzi stretched slightly, her movements sluggish as she tried to wake herself up. Eventually Paige stepped out of the car, walking around to Azzi’s door. She opened it, leaning in with a teasing smile. “Come on before I carry you.”
Azzi snorted, her voice still thick with sleep. “Paige, you can’t carry me.”
Paige scoffed, a mischievous glint sparking in her eyes. “Oh, really?”
Before Azzi could protest, Paige slid one arm under her legs and the other behind her back, lifting her out of the car with surprising ease. Azzi squealed, grabbing onto Paige’s shoulders. “Put me down!” she yelped, her voice pitching higher than usual.
Paige grinned, clearly enjoying herself. “What’s wrong? I thought you said I couldn’t carry you.”
“Paige, your knee!” Azzi scolded, trying to sound serious but failing as laughter bubbled out. “You just got cleared to play again—don’t go ruining it!”
Paige hummed in thought at the mention of being cleared to play. “Hmm...”
“No,” Azzi interrupted, narrowing her eyes even as she laughed.
“Pleaseee?” Paige said, dragging the word out dramatically, her smile widening as she put Azzi down gently onto the pavement.
Azzi groaned, but there was no real annoyance in it. “You’re literally insane,” she muttered, already knowing where this was heading.
“Come on Az please,” Paige pressed, her tone playful but pleading.
Azzi sighed, finally relenting. “Fine,” she said, shaking her head. “But you’re getting my shoes.”
Paige’s face lit up like she’d won a championship. “Deal!”
Azzi chuckled, turning back toward the car to get back in the passenger seat. “You’re lucky I’m too tired to fight you on this.”
Paige didn’t respond, already jogging toward the suite with a bounce in her step. “I’ll be right back!” she called over her shoulder.
Azzi shook her head, smiling despite herself. “She’s gonna be the death of me,” she muttered, getting back in the car as Paige ran inside to grab their basketball shoes, her energy contagious even in the middle of the night.
If Azzi didn’t know any better, she’d think Paige was on something. The blonde had been in the gym for hours, bouncing off the walls with energy, clearly ecstatic to be freely shooting a basketball again—even if she wasn’t cleared for contact.
Azzi, on the other hand, was drained. She’d given up about thirty minutes ago, peeling off her basketball shoes and resigning herself to sitting on the floor, watching Paige’s every move. She leaned back on her hands, her chest rising and falling steadily as she caught her breath. Her eyes following Paige darting around the court, making shot after shot, her smile brighter than the overhead light they had turned on.
Eventually, Paige bounded over to her and, without warning, dramatically sprawled across Azzi’s lap, her sweaty body pressing against Azzi’s.
Azzi groaned, trying for annoyance but failing as her lips curved into a small smile. “Ew, Paige, you’re sweaty.” She didn’t, however, make any effort to push her off.
Paige grinned up at her, clearly unbothered. “Alright, I think I’m done.”
Azzi raised an eyebrow, feigning shock. “Oh wow, it only took three hours. Truly a miracle.”
Paige laughed softly, her smile warm and unguarded as she looked up at Azzi. Something in her expression softened, and for a moment, the only sound was their steady breathing.
Azzi hesitated, her chest tightening as she gazed down at Paige. She reached out instinctively, brushing a strand of sweaty hair out of Paige’s face. Her fingers lingered for a second before she spoke, her voice quiet and a little shaky. “I really love your eyes.”
Paige blinked as her cheeks flushed faintly as her grin softened into something more genuine. “I love your smile,” she murmured, her voice steady but low, like it was meant just for Azzi.
They stared at each other for a long moment, the air between them hung with unspoken emotions. Paige’s expression was completely open, her gaze searching Azzi’s as if she were trying to commit every detail of her face to memory.
The closeness sent Azzi’s heart racing, the feeling so intense it almost overwhelmed her. So she quickly pushed Paige off her lap and stood up, clearing her throat. “Come on,” she said, trying to mask the flustered edge in her voice.
Paige smiled to herself as she got up and followed Azzi. But instead of heading toward the gym’s front doors and her car, she grabbed Azzi’s hand, intertwining their fingers and tugging her in the opposite direction.
Azzi groaned lightly, though she didn’t pull away. “Where are we going now, Paige?”
Paige glanced back, her grin teasing.
“We’re gonna watch the sunrise.”
Azzi stopped complaining immediately, her curiosity piqued as Paige led her to the elevator.
When they reached the rooftop, the early morning air hit them, but Azzi immediately vetoed going outside. “No you’re gonna get us sick,” she scolded. “We’re sweaty, and it’s freezing.”
Paige laughed but didn’t argue, following Azzi to a spot by the glass windows that offered a perfect view of the sky. They sat down side by side, the first light of dawn spilling through the panes and casting a soft glow over them.
Azzi rested her head on Paige’s shoulder, her body relaxing into the blonde. She reached for Paige’s hand, her fingers lightly playing with Paige’s in an absentminded gesture that felt far more intimate than either of them acknowledged.
They watched in silence as the sky gradually brightened, the world slowly coming alive with shades of pink, purple, and gold.
Paige turned her head slightly, resting her cheek against Azzi’s hair. “Thanks for coming with me today,” she said softly, her voice low and sincere.
Azzi tilted her head up to meet Paige’s gaze, her lips curving into a small smile. “Always.”
They stayed like that, wrapped in the quiet comfort of each other’s presence, letting the moment stretch until the sun fully broke the horizon, casting its warm light over them.
Eventually, as the last traces of night faded and the sun rose higher into the sky, Paige sighed and stretched. “Well, I guess we should go finally get some sleep.”
Azzi agreed, lifting her head off Paige’s shoulder and standing up. Paige followed suit, and the two of them walked back toward the elevator, hands still lingering together.
Once they were back in the car, the drive to Paige’s dorm was quiet, the peacefulness of the morning lingering between them. By the time they arrived, the exhaustion from their trip hit them all at once.
They both took quick showers, Azzi finding herself some clothes in Paige’s drawer while Paige showered.
Paige slumped onto her bed, pulling the covers up. Azzi followed suit, crawling under the blankets next to her.
As the lights went off, the silence of the room filled with the soft sounds of their breathing. Despite the exhaustion, neither of them wanted to drift off just yet. They exchanged a glance, a small smile shared between them, as they settled into the warmth of the bed.
"Goodnight, Az," Paige whispered, her voice gentle but filled with something deeper, something unspoken.
Azzi smiled softly, closing her eyes. "Goodnight, Paige."
A week or so later, Paige was sitting in the training room, her legs stretched out on the bench as she scrolled through her phone. Her lips curled into a smile, her eyes lighting up as she read whatever was on her screen.
Evina, who was seated across from her, noticed immediately and let out a laugh. “What’s got you all smiley over there?”
Paige glanced up, caught off guard but unable to wipe the grin off her face. “It’s nothing,” she said, her tone too casual to be convincing. She glanced back at her phone before quickly adding, “Azzi just sent me something. She’s on her way now.”
Evina raised an eyebrow, her smirk widening. She’d been waiting for an opening like this. “Speaking of Azzi, what’s going on with you two?”
Paige froze, her fingers halting mid-scroll. “What do you mean?” she asked, feigning ignorance, but the blush creeping up her cheeks betrayed her.
Evina leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she gave Paige a knowing look. “Come on, Paige. You two are pretty close now. Like, real close.”
Paige let out a nervous laugh, shaking her head. “Nah, she’s just like... my best friend now,” she said, her voice a little too quick and defensive.
Evina wasn’t buying it. She tilted her head, her expression skeptical. “Paige, be fucking for real,” she said, her tone teasing but firm.
Before Paige could respond, the door to the training room opened, and Azzi walked in. She headed straight for Paige without hesitation, a warm smile on her face as she leaned down to wrap her arms around the blonde in a quick but affectionate hug.
Paige blushed even deeper under Evina’s gaze, her hands lingering a second too long on Azzi’s back before she pulled away.
Evina smirked, leaning back in her seat with her arms crossed. “Wow,” she said, her voice dripping with playful sarcasm. “No love for Mama E?”
Azzi laughed, the sound light and unbothered, as she turned to Evina. “Alright, alright,” she said, walking over to give her a quick side hug. “You happy now?”
Evina shook her head with a grin, glancing pointedly between the two of them. “Oh, I’m very happy. This is way better than anything I could’ve imagined.”
Paige groaned, burying her face in her hands, while Azzi, not really knowing the context, just chuckled and perched herself on the bench next to her.
Evina wasn’t about to let up, but Paige shot her a pleading look, mouthing, Don’t. Evina raised her hands in mock surrender, but the mischievous twinkle in her eye promised this conversation wasn’t over.
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"Gay Is Okay 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇩🇪"
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amoressb · 2 days ago
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☆ LOWKEY
pairings : childhood bsf!riki x reader ; friends to lovers
synopsis : in which you and riki have been best friends since you guys were in kindergarten. youre both now in your last year of high school and with all that time together, people would think that you guys were bound to end up falling for each other, right? well, that seems to only be the case for riki. hes fallen in love with you after all this time, especially since you guys tend to flirt constantly, but he knows you dont feel the same. right? either way, he doesnt want to risk losing you so he tries to keep his love for you on the lowkey. will it work?
☆.。.:*。.:*・.:*・.。.:*。.:*・.:*・.。.:*。.:*・.☆
will you be mine?
small smau + written wc. 4.05k
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as the riki walked down the quiet street, his heart raced faster than his footsteps. the bouquet of daisies and soft pink roses he held in his trembling hands was a stark contrast to the biting winter air that turned his cheeks redder by the second. he kept glancing at his reflection in store windows, adjusting his scarf nervously.
today wasn’t just any day—it was the day. the day he’d finally confess his feelings to you. for years, you’d been his best friend, his confidante, the one who made him laugh even on his darkest days and now, here he was, walking toward your house, knowing this wasn’t just a casual outing. it was you guys first date.
the thought made his stomach twist in knots. what if you didn’t feel the same? what if he ruined everything? he shook the doubts away, taking a deep breath. you had agreed to this date after all and that had to mean something. he gripped the flowers tighter, his palms sweaty despite the chill.
as your house came into view, he paused, his heart pounding louder than ever. He took another deep breath and forced himself to smile. no turning back now. today was the day he’d tell you—tell you how much you mean to him, how you’d always been more than just a friend. whatever happened next, he was ready to take the leap.
riki stood at your doorstep, heart thudding in his chest as he stared at the polished wooden door. he adjusted his scarf one last time, took a deep breath, and raised a shaky hand to knock. before he could, the door swung open, and there you were, framed by the warm glow of the house behind you.
“hey!” you greeted, your smile wide and welcoming. your cheeks were a little flushed, whether from the cold or something else, he couldn’t tell. you looked effortlessly beautiful, your cozy sweater and scarf making you seem so at ease, while he felt like a bundle of nerves barely holding it together.
“hi,” he managed, his voice cracking slightly. he cleared his throat quickly and thrust the bouquet forward. “uh, these are for you.”
your eyes lit up as you looked at the flowers, and you let out a soft laugh. “they’re beautiful, thank you!” you reached out to take them, your fingers brushing his for a moment, and he swore his heart skipped a beat. “you didn’t have to, you know.”
“i—uh, i wanted to,” he said, fumbling over the words. “i mean, it’s a special day… i mean, not just because of the date—uh, i mean the calendar date, not our date—” he stopped himself, realizing he was rambling. “sorry i’m nervous.”
you laughed again, this time a little softer, your gaze meeting his. “you don’t need to be nervous, it’s just me,” you said, your tone reassuring.
“that’s exactly why i’m nervous,” he admitted before he could stop himself, his cheeks immediately heating up. “i just… i want today to be perfect.”
your expression softened and you stepped closer, your eyes searching his. “it already is,” you said quietly, holding the bouquet to your chest. “come on, let’s go. we’ll figure out the rest together.” he smiled then, feeling a bit of the tension melt away. together. maybe today would go just the way he’d hoped after all.
the crisp winter air nipped at you and rikis noses as you two arrived at the ice skating rink. string lights hung above, casting a warm glow over the sparkling ice. the sound of laughter and the scrape of skates against the rink filled the air. you looked around, your eyes wide with excitement.
“i haven’t been ice skating in ages!” you exclaimed, turning to him with a grin. “me neither,” he admitted, though he wasn’t sure if it was the truth. his focus wasn’t on skating—it was on making this day special for you.
you two picked up your skates and as you two sat on a nearby bench to put them on, he noticed you struggling with the laces. “here let me help” he said, kneeling down before you could protest.“you don’t have to-” you started, but he was already working on the first skate, his fingers deftly tying the laces with care.
“i want to,” he said, glancing up at you with a small, nervous smile. he couldn’t help but notice how close you two were, your face just inches from his. you smiled softly, your gaze lingering on him as he finished the second shoe. “there all set,” he said, standing and offering his hand to help you up.“thanks,” you said, slipping your hand into his. your touch was warm despite the chill, and he found himself reluctant to let go.
on the ice, it was clear you were both rusty. you wobbled almost immediately, letting out a squeal as your arms flailed for balance. “woah, careful!” he said, laughing as he reached out to steady you. you grabbed onto his arm, gripping it tightly.
“you said you were rusty too!” you accused playfully, though your grin gave you away. “i am!” he protested. “but i think i’m a little less… wobbly than you.”
you gave him a mock glare but clung to his arm as you glided—well, shuffled—across the ice together. every now and then, you’d laugh as you nearly lost your balance and he couldn’t help but join in, his nerves slowly melting away with every smile you gave him.
at one point, you tugged him toward the middle of the rink. “let’s try going faster!” you said, your eyes sparkling with mischief. “are you trying to make us both to fall?” he asked, but he couldn’t say no to you. now picking up speed, your hands clasped tightly together. when you stumbled, he caught you, pulling you close to steady you. “see? you’re getting the hang of it,” he said, his voice soft as he looked down at you.
“only because i have you to hold on to,” you replied, your cheeks pink—not just from the cold. you and rikis eyes met and for a moment, the rest of the world faded away.
as you two skated, you found herself stealing glances at him. there was something endearing about the way he focused so intently, like he was determined to make sure you didn’t fall. you felt your heart flutter every time he reached out to steady you or laughed with you.
he, on the other hand, couldn’t stop thinking about how effortlessly you lit up the entire rink. every laugh, every smile, made his chest feel warm despite the freezing air. he wanted this moment to last forever, wanted you to know how much you meant to him.
as you two reached the edge of the rink, both cheeks flushed from the cold and laughter, you slowed to a stop. you leaned on the barrier, brushing a strand of hair from your face, your breath visible in the chilly air.
“you’re not so bad at this after all,” you teased, glancing at him with a playful smile.“thanks,” he replied, grinning. “but i think you’re the one stealing the show out there.”
you laughed, shaking your head. “sure, if by ‘stealing the show,’ you mean almost falling on my face every five seconds.”
“you call it falling, i call it making a dramatic entrance,” he said, earning another laugh from you. the sound made his chest feel light, like he could float away.
standing there for a moment, catching your breath. riki hesitated, the words he wanted to say lingering on the tip of his tongue but instead of speaking, he shoved his hands into his coat pockets and glanced at you.
“you know,” he said, breaking the silence, “all this skating has me craving something sweet. want to go grab some ice cream?” your eyes lit up and you turned to him with an incredulous laugh. “ice cream? in this weather?”
he shrugged, trying to play it cool despite the slight tremor of nerves in his voice. “what can i say? ice cream is a year round thing.” you tilted your head, pretending to think it over. “hmm, i suppose i could be convinced. but only if you promise not to steal all the toppings.”
“deal,” he said, his grin widening. he offered his hand, and when you took it, your fingers fit perfectly in his.
as you two left the rink and walked toward the nearest ice cream shop, laughter echoed into the crisp evening air. neither of you said it out loud, but you both felt it—this was more than just a good day. this was the start of something you’d both remember for a long time.
the warmth of the ice cream shop was a welcome contrast to the crisp winter air outside. the smell of freshly made waffle cones filled the air and the glass display case showcased an array of brightly colored ice cream flavors. you pressed your face to the glass, scanning the options with wide eyes.
“okayyy,” she said, pointing dramatically. “strawberry cheesecake, always the winner.”
“solid choice,” he said, nodding. “but i think i’m going with cookie dough.”
“you’re so predictable,” you teased, shooting him a grin.
“and you’re not?” he countered with a laugh. “strawberry cheesecake every time?”
“hey, don’t knock it till you try it,” you replied as you two stepped up to the counter to place your orders.
minutes later, you and riki were sitting at a small table by the window, your cones in hand. outside, the world was still covered in a blanket of winter, but in here, the laughter and warmth felt like a bubble just for the two of you.
“so,” you said between bites of your ice cream, “do you always eat ice cream in freezing weather or is this just a special occasion?” riki shrugged, smirking. “ice cream’s good anytime but i guess today feels… special.” you paused, your ice cream hovering in the air and smiled softly at him. “yeah…it does.”
as you took another bite, a tiny smudge of ice cream clung to the corner of your mouth. he noticed it instantly, his heart skipping a beat.
“you’ve got a little…” he said, motioning to his own mouth. you frowned, confused. “what? where?”
“here,” he said softly, leaning in. before you could protest, he reached out with his thumb and gently wiped the ice cream away. his touch lingered for a moment, his hand close to your cheek.
your breath caught and you sat still, looking up at him. your eyes met and the playful banter faded into silence. the world around you two seemed to blur, the warmth of the shop and the soft hum of conversation fading into the background. all tiki could see was you—the way your eyes sparkled under the shop’s lights, the slight flush on your cheeks.
you felt your heart racing as his gaze held yours. his hand dropped slowly and for a moment, neither of you spoke.
“thanks,” you finally said, your voice barely above a whisper, your lips curving into a small, shy smile. “anytime,” he replied softly, his own cheeks a little pink now.
the moment lingered between you both, full of unspoken words and something new, something neither of you were ready to name just yet. then, as if on cue, you laughed lightly, breaking the tension.
“you’re lucky i didn’t get sprinkles,” you said, your tone teasing again. he chuckled, grateful for the ease in your voice. “true, that could’ve been a real disaster.”
you both laughed and just like that, the moment passed, leaving behind a warmth that neither of you could shake as you finished your cones and ventured back out into the winter air.
as you two stepped out of the ice cream shop, you and rikis laughter lingering in the frosty air, he glanced at you with a small, nervous smile. his hands were tucked into his coat pockets and his heart raced as he finally worked up the courage to say it.
“so, uh… i have one more surprise for you,” he said, his voice tentative.
you turned to him, your eyes lighting up with curiosity. “another surprise? you’re really pulling out all the stops today.”he chuckled, shrugging. “well, i just thought you deserved a day that’s… special. come on, you’ll see.”
intrigued, you followed him as you two walked through the softly illuminated streets. the quiet crunch of snow beneath you and his boots were accompanied by your soft hums of contentment. eventually, you two arrived at a gated entrance glowing with an otherworldly light. a sign read “the imaginarium”, and through the entrance, the entire area seemed to sparkle and shimmer like a dreamscape.
your breath hitched as you took it all in. “this… this is amazing,” you whispered. “come on,” he said, offering his hand. you didn’t hesitate, slipping your fingers into his. your touch sent a warmth coursing through him that no winter chill could touch.
inside, the Imaginarium was a wonderland of lights and color. twinkling displays of glowing flowers, cascading streams of light that looked like waterfalls, and luminous arches stretched across the pathways. ypu walked slowly, your eyes wide with wonder, marveling at each glowing creation.
“this is incredible,” she said, your voice filled with awe. you pointed at a field of tiny glowing mushrooms that pulsed gently with shifting hues. “look at that—it’s like a fairy tale come to life.”
riki barely heard you. his gaze wasn’t on the lights or the displays—it was on you. the way your eyes sparkled brighter than the lights themselves, the way your breath fogged in the cold as you spoke, the soft, genuine smile that hadn’t left your face since they’d entered.
you let out a delighted laugh when you spotted a tunnel of stars, their golden light shimmering above like a celestial canopy. as you walked ahead to admire it, your hand still in his, riki couldn’t take his eyes off you. the glow of the lights danced across your face, illuminating your soft features in a way that took his breath away.
you turned to him, catching him mid stare. “what?” you asked, tilting your head slightly, a playful smile on your lips. he blinked, caught off guard. “nothing,” he said quickly, his voice soft. but then, unable to stop himself, he added, “it’s just… you look so happy. i love seeing you like this.”
your cheeks turned pink, though whether it was from the cold or his words, he couldn’t tell. “well, this is kind of magical,” you admitted, your voice quieter now. “thank you for bringing me here.” “anytime,” he said, his tone sincere. “i mean it.”
you and riki continued walking, your hand still in his. every now and then, you’d stop to admire another display, gasping softly at the details, while he simply stood beside you, his gaze never leaving you. to him, the lights, the beauty of the imaginarium—they all paled in comparison to you. the way you lit up, the way your joy was so genuine, it made everything else feel like a backdrop to your presence.
at one point, you and him reached a small pond surrounded by glowing reeds and lily pads that seemed to float on the surface, their soft hues reflecting in the water. you leaned against the railing, taking it all in with a dreamy expression. riki stood beside you, his heart full, unable to stop himself from memorizing every detail of your face—the curve of your lips, the way your eyes shone, the gentle way your scarf framed your features.
you turned to him again, your smile soft this time. “you’ve been quiet, are you okay?” he nodded, his throat tight with emotion he wasn’t sure he could put into words. “yeah,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “i’m more than okay.” your gaze lingered on him for a moment before you squeezed his hand. “good,” you said, your voice just as soft.
as you two continued through the glowing wonderland, hand in hand, he knew one thing for certain : he could have spent the entire night in the imaginarium and never looked at a single light, as long as he was with you.
the path through the imaginarium led them to a grove bathed in soft, golden light. the trees were wrapped in strands of tiny, glimmering bulbs that cascaded down like waterfalls, swaying gently in the breeze. overhead, a canopy of suspended orbs glowed like floating moons, their light shifting from white to gold to the faintest pink. the snow beneath their feet sparkled faintly, reflecting the magic of the lights above.
you walked ahead of him, your hand still in his, your soft laughter carrying on the crisp night air. your eyes were alight with wonder, darting from one glowing creation to another. occasionally, you’d point something out, a strand of lights that mimicked shooting stars or a delicate sculpture made entirely of shimmering glass. your voice was filled with awe and your smile was brighter than any light around them.
but while you admired the world around you, riki admired you. the way the lights danced across your face, casting delicate patterns on your skin, made you look almost otherworldly. your hair caught the golden glow, framing you in a soft halo that seemed to pulse with every step you took. your cheeks were flushed from the cold, your breath visible in tiny clouds and your scarf was slightly askew, but to him, you had never looked more perfect.
you stopped beneath an archway of intertwining lights, the beams curving overhead like the ribs of a glowing cathedral. you turned back to him, your eyes wide with excitement. “look at this,” you said, gesturing upward. “it’s like standing inside a constellation.”
riki barely heard your words. his heart was pounding in his chest as he took you in. your face, so full of wonder, seemed to glow from within. every detail of you—your sparkling eyes, the gentle curve of your lips, the way your hand fit so perfectly in his—was etched into his mind. in that moment, the beauty of the lights around them seemed to fade, paling in comparison to you.
it hit him like a sudden wave..this is it. the feeling that had been growing inside him, simmering quietly for years, could no longer be ignored. seeing you like this, so radiant and full of life, made him realize that no moment would ever be more perfect. he couldn’t keep it in any longer.
“hey,” he said, his voice soft, yet steady. you turned to him fully, your head tilting slightly. “what is it?” you asked, your expression curious.
he took a deep breath, his fingers tightening around yours. the words felt heavy, like they carried every ounce of emotion he had been holding back. “i need to tell you something,” he began, his voice quieter now, almost trembling with vulnerability.
your expression shifted, your eyes searching his face. “you’re being serious,” you said softly, your tone laced with concern and curiosity.
“i am,” he said, nodding. he took a step closer, so close now that he could see the reflection of the lights in your eyes, the way they shimmered like liquid gold. “i’ve been thinking about this for a long time, and… i can’t keep it to myself anymore.”
your brows furrowed slightly but you didn’t say anything. you just waited, giving him your full attention, your hand still warm in his.
“you—” he paused, swallowing hard as he gathered his thoughts. “you mean so much to me, more than i think you realize. and today, seeing you like this, seeing you so happy, so… beautiful…” he trailed off for a moment, his chest tightening. “i realized that i can’t go another day without saying it.”
your lips parted slightly, your breath visible in the cold air as you stared at him, your expression unreadable. “saying what?” you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
he exhaled shakily, his gaze locked on yours. “that i care about you..not just as a friend, not just as someone i love spending time with… but as someone i’ve fallen for. completely.”
your eyes widened slightly, the lights above catching the faint shimmer of emotion in them. the world around you two seemed to pause, the sounds of distant laughter and soft music fading into silence. all he could hear was his own heartbeat, thundering in his chest as he waited for your to respond.
he took another breath, his voice growing steadier as the emotions poured out of him. “you’ve always been this… light in my life, you know? like no matter how hard things get or how much the world feels like it’s falling apart, you’re there and suddenly everything makes sense again. you make things better, just by being you.”
you were silent, your lips slightly parted as you listened, your hand still in his. the golden light above them danced across your face, illuminating the soft flush of your cheeks, the slight shimmer in your eyes.
“you’re the first person i want to talk to when something amazing happens,” he continued, his voice filled with quiet urgency. “and the only one i want to see when things feel impossible. i look at you, and it’s like..it’s like the world slows down. and today, seeing you here, like this..it’s made me realize something i’ve been trying to deny for too long.”
he took a small step closer, the space between them narrowing until he could feel the faint warmth radiating from you despite the winter chill. his gaze softened as he looked down at you, taking in every detail of your expression.
“i realized that i don’t just like being with you. i need to be with you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper now. “you make everything brighter, everything better. and i-” he paused, his throat tightening, but he pressed on. “i’ve fallen in love with you, completely. and i don’t know where this will go, or how you feel, but i had to tell you because you deserve to know just how much you mean to me.”
your eyes glistened as you stared at him, your breath hitching slightly. the silence stretched between them, heavy with unspoken feelings, as the golden lights flickered softly above. he held his breath, waiting for your response, his heart pounding like a drum in his chest and for a moment, time seemed to stand still.
riki took another step closer, your hands still intertwined, his thumb gently brushing over your knuckles. his heart raced, the weight of the moment pressing against his chest. the lights around them seemed to blur into a soft golden haze, as if the universe itself was holding its breath, waiting for what would happen next.
“i know this might feel like a lot,” he said, his voice quieter now but no less earnest. “and i know this changes everything but i also know that i don’t want to keep wondering, or waiting, or pretending these feelings don’t exist.”
his gaze locked with yours, his eyes soft and full of vulnerability. “you mean so much to me, more than i can ever put into words and i want to be the one who makes you smile like this every day. i want to be by your side, not just as your friend, but as..something more.”
he let out a breath, the faintest mist forming in the cold air as he finally asked the question that had been building inside him for so long. “will you be my girlfriend?”
the words hung in the air between them, fragile yet powerful, carrying every ounce of hope, fear, and love he felt for you. your eyes widened slightly, your breath catching as you stared at him, the golden lights reflecting in your gaze.
you opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out at first. the world seemed to slow, every second stretching out endlessly as he waited, his heart pounding so loudly he was sure she could hear it. your lips parted again and you drew in a breath, your expression unreadable.
and then she gave him a response—
wouldn’t you like to know - (hobie brown from spiderman)
☆.。.:*。.:*・.:*・.。.:*。.:*・.:*・.。.:*。.:*・.☆
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hemi-demi · 2 days ago
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Sorry, having sad Martin thoughts again.
So there's this particular scene from episode 144. I for some reason forgot this happened in my first two listens (how, idk. S4 makes me feel a lot), then caught it on my third.
This is the second time we hear Daisy coming to talk to Martin in his office while he's working for Peter.
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Cold AF. Hurts like hell to hear. You can understand his distrust of her, she tried to kill Jon, threatened to pin him with the murder of Jurgen, and Jon almost died again saving her from the coffin. All that tracks.
But that's not what's happening here. Because this follows immediately after:
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Daisy kept coming around the office, getting friendly. Martin knew Peter was around and, if he saw anyone constantly hindering his progress of becoming a part of the Lonely, would have sent her right to it.
But he couldn't just be nice, or didn't feel like he could. Can't give a proper warning when Peter could be anywhere, and if he's too light a touch, she might see it as a call for help and keep hanging around.
So he does the only thing he can, tells her to piss off. It works. He's more lonely than ever, severing yet another connection he was even starting to form again, but she's safe from Peter now.
Which, I have to reiterate, he could have just let Peter deal with her. He is probably harboring a lot of jealousy for Daisy right now. He can't be anywhere near Jon, but now suddenly Jon and Daisy are spending time licking their wounds and listening to the Archers. And Martin is a pretty petty person. He could have kept her talking until Peter got bored and sent her away. Job done.
But he didn't. He readily admits to not really liking anyone here, and not believing anyone likes him either, but he's still trying to keep people safe. Not just Daisy – the entire institute
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He's been single handedly keeping half the Institute from being vanished into the Lonely. And he does it because of Jon.
He doesn't like Daisy, but Jon does. Jon nearly died saving her. Jon did die attempting to save everyone. So when Jon didn't wake up from his coma, even though Martin was falling into his own despair, he decided to make the best of whatever life was left in him to honor Jon's memory and keep the others safe.
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And there's just something about Daisy in particular being the one to reach out to Martin, as well. She knows what it looks like when you start to give yourself to the Fears. She tried to throw out a life preserver, but if Martin took it, it could have dragged her down too. Or at least, it's how he felt (depression will do that to you. You're not worth saving, and if anyone attempts to do so, then they'll only get hurt, so why even bother asking for help?)
Yet another "I don't know how to end this ramble", but just – ugh. This man hurts me. I will never be okay about this goddamn show.
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