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thrudgelmir2333 · 2 years ago

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“Anxiety Writing”, Imperator Rome, Antiquity, Lance’s Role and my infuriating obsession with a “Catholic Fantasy” cartoon for children

Since I’ve decided to focus a bit more effort on Tumblr after basically being a whole year quiet, to the point I published ten whole chapters since the last time I publicised one here, I thought I’d try my hand at writing a blog post too, since that’s kind of what this site is supposed to be about. 1. Confessions about being the biggest Saint Seiya Tsundere People who know me online, even tangentially, whether on Discord, Fanfiction.net, Twitter or Tumbler, know one thing about me; I have an obsession with a pathetic excuse of a show called Saint Seiya. Or Knights of the Zodiac. Or whatever you wanna call it, I don’t care, call it Power Rangers: Ancient Greece if you want to.

But frankly? I kind of despise this franchise. I mean the whole of it. I really do. It’s so bad, to an embarassing level, like a B movie cashing in on a trend. It makes me genuinely embarassed that half the things I have to talk about with anyone about the last 10 years of my life are either about depression, college or Saint Seiya. And when I’m not embarassed by it, I’m infuriated, because Saint Seiya, for those of you who don’t know, is one of those franchises that has become endlessly commodified online. They’re a bit too aware of their own success and have decided to bank on it for the rest of its irrelevant existence, endlessly pumping out bad cartoons and CGI-filled movies to raise the appeal of the toys and DVDs they want to sell.

And yet, I have the ignoble badge of having spent those ten years writing a shockingly long fanfic of it, a fanfic that I pretty much work on every other day or so for the past 4000 days of my life. And this is the only life I’m gonna get lol Not only have I written Lance’s Role, a incoherent behemoth of a fic, but I’ve befriended SS fanfic writers, I’ve reviewed SS writing, I’ve commissioned art, I’ve climbed my way to a top of a SS Discord server that I didn’t even create, I’ve hosted streams of episodes of all of its spinoffs to friends and I’ve endlessly discussed every minute aspect of this franchise, from Seiya’s character flanderisation in classic Saint Seiya, to the accidentally sexual language of the scene of Athena “taking in Saga’s knife”, to the lighting on Chakram Europa’s monologue in Saint Seiya Omega. Like, the bots on those servers tracking everyone’s posting experience speak for themselves; I’ve talked about SS more than some of its oldest and most ferverous members combined.

Why do I do this? lol Wtf is the matter with me? I’m a 30 year old college graduate that barely even liked this show when I saw it on TV back in the 90s, in the few moments of my off-hours when I wasn’t being dragged to church masses, or other social gatherings my parents didn’t really even believe in. Why have I revolved my headspace around a show I don’t like or respect?

A couple years back, my friend @zebulonwallace told me that a friend of hers once described Saint Seiya as “Catholic Fantasy”. We talked in-depth about it and why her friend claimed it and really, even when discounting the regions this show is popular at (France, Latin America, etc). While I feel like that moment made a lightbulb turn on my head about why I can’t forget about this stupid show, it’s just too easy an explanation. It’s too convenient and comfortable and it puts the hot lightbulb too away from myself. It doesn’t take a degree in media literacy to see that SS is packed to the brim with catholic imagery. Saori herself is one big Virgin Mary figure, especially in the 4th movie of Saint Seiya which, guess what, stars the DEVIL as the villain. So, I think it’s time to fess up that there is no good reason for these last ten years of my life. I’m just an obsessive idiot who found an easy target. That’s the truth. Saint Seiya is my stress toy because, frankly, it’s easy and comfortable to criticise it. It doesn’t take a lot of in-depth thinking out of me to point out its flaws and, frankly, that makes it less of a threat to my ego. It also has a very fractured and, paradoxically, unquestioning fanbase, which makes it very easy for me to levy arguments against pretty much every single niche in it whenever I want to feel superior to someone who thinks “Seiya is a true role model” or that “it’s fine that Lost Canvas has bad writing, cause Gold Saintz be hot”. If I was writing for One Piece or something, however, a franchise I have much greater admiration for, I would be competing with people with a lot more imagination and media savviness. Lance’s Role, which is essentially my personal anxiety outlet, would be under a lot more scrutiny in such spaces.

Why Saint Seiya, of all things, though? Why not Bleach, which is more modern, equally flawed and even somewhat inspired by Saint Seiya? Well, because fucking Bleach doesn’t have Ancient Greece on it, you dingus! Duh! It’s about fashion magazine Samurais wearing hip clothing, not people being drawn on pots chocking a lion or something : v 2. Imperator Rome and Antiquity Nerdism So, what some people might not know about me in my spaces (or maybe they do), is that I’m also a big fan of history and geography. My mother was a geography teacher herself, my father was... part of a questionable culture of historical revisionism BUT ALSO a respected journalist in our area, so I think I just have it in my blood to have a deep curiosity about how history and geography relate to eachother. It permeates everything I do and, even in my early years, I had a fascination for Ancient Greece and Rome, because they were the closest sources of the topic I could understand.

As such, I’m also a big fan of video games heavy on history and geography. This manifests itself in me having 1250 hours of playing Imperator Rome, a game even some of the most ardent Paradox Interactive fans barely have a tenth of the time spent on, and that time in IR is almost a tenth of the time I’ve probably spent writing Lance’s Role. Imperator Rome, despite its name, is frankly a lot more about celebrating the Hellenistic Period than the Roman one, with a lot of features and tidbits dedicated to the history of the Diadochi states, Makedonia, Greece, the Indian Mauryias and even the extinct Aechemenid Empire. Hell, Rome is almost just the easy-access gateway civilisation you play before you inevitably dive into the rabbit hole that are Diadochi soap-opera intrigues.

And if you dive into this rabbit hole, the first thing you realise is that there’s so much more to Antiquity than you even imagined. I never heard in my life of Antigonus Monophtalmos, and now I think he’s some kind of super one-eyed mega-general worthy of his own page on Badass of the Week, a dude who spent his life routinely dunking on his fellow former friends and was the first of Alexander’s subordinates to dare proclaim himself King and try to reunite his lands, only to then meet his end when some random dude hit him with a javelin. Yes, the guy got killed by a freaking random mook who got close enough to throw a stick. And that was the first battle his side would ever lose. That’s so comically tragic that its like something out of the Illiad or whatever. Eumenes of Cardia, the secretary of Alexander the Great that Antigonus defeated and killed, is such an obscure and interesting character that there’s AN ENTIRE AWARD-WINNING MANGA made about him by Itoshi Iwaaki called ‘Historie’. Imperator Rome even references it in its achievements. How cool is that? Moreover, I also never heard of how much of a dingus Antigonus’ son Demetrius was and how his fuck ups and delusions created a cascade of fails that, through his descendancy, led to the fall of Greece to Rome and effectively the beginning of the end of the Hellenistic Period. And did you know Phyrrus of Epirus, the fabled coiner of the phrase “Phyrric Victory”, died not in battle, but because while he was occupying Argos in a war, some random old lady hit him with a roof tile over the head, and his enemies decapitated him? The guy spent a decade of his life going up and down Sicily, fighting both Carthage AND a nascent Rome, and the thing that does him in was your nasty gradma complaining from her window how your horse was eating her flowers, or something. This was such a tragic end that Phyrrus’ enemy, the descendant of Antigonus, punished his son for cutting off Phyrrus’ head, because it reminded him of the curse his own family felt. Forget it, this isn’t like the Illiad, this is borderline Shakesperean. This is Hamlet, Greek-edition. Or I guess Hamlet is Phyrrus, Danish-Edition. Or is it English? I also never understood the cascade of complexity that was Egyptian dynastic history and its screwed up mix of monumentality and petty intrigue until Imperator Rome gave me a framework to understand its geography and rulers and encouraged me to read more about Antoquity outside of Ancient Greece. I found myself thinking back to the character of the graphic novel Watchmen, Ozymandias, and how he went from admiring Alexander the Great to admiring Ramses instead, cause holy crap, Ramses... was also kind of an incredible character of history. No, really, there are so many characters in antiquity, female and male, poor and rich, generals or philosophers, Greeks or Persians or Egyptians or Levantine, who are so immensely interesting and wrapped in legend that, in a way, Greek Mythology *falls short* of real life Antiquity people. I feel like I’ve barely dipped my toes. And hell, this is just one region, in one continent, in one era of the world. I will never understand fully the complexity of the Chinese Warring States period, because there’s just so much to go into it, but I definitely appreciate more the immensity of it. In a way, you could say reality, at least the recorded one, is endlessly more fascinating than the myths it inspires. .... *sigh* And then you have a show like Saint Seiya. ╯︿╰ 3. What Saint Seiya is, what it is not Allow me to be serious for a second; I don’t believe Saint Seiya should or could be this one big epic tribute to the comically complex history of the Eastern Mediterranean. At the end of the day, it’s Power Rangers: Ancient Greece. That’s all it’s ever going to be. It wouldn’t even be entertaining if it was loaded with all this lore. Saint Seiya appeals to a very popular conception of astrology, greek mythology and catholic imagery, all three things popular and various demographics, both in the West and the East, and mixes it in with shounen fluff from the late 80s. Saint Seiya is a show for children. And (wo)man-children. It’s not “Game of Thrones”. And that’s fine, lol

... But it doesn’t mean the potential isn’t there, does it? Or that its appropriation (if this term can be used) of Eastern Mediterranean mythology (specifically the Greek one) to drive up its appeal in markets is any less apparent. Right? And when you combine it with all the loose ends, unfinished character arcs and wonky timeline welding between the various spin offs, there’s just this big, fertile middle ground there, just tempting you to do something with it! So, what is an obsessive nerd like me supposed to do with all that untapped wealth just sitting there? Just bitch and complain that no one with a Toei badge on their suit will dig it for me, like so many do? Just endlessly whine that no one will put at the helm some sycophant artist regurgitating Shingo Araki’s style on Twitter? Well, no. That’s stupid. There’s honestly a lot of fertile ground in Saint Seiya to tell stories. All you really gotta do is plant a seed and water it and I guarantee; it will bloom. I have had endless conversations with friends of mine like Kenshiro and Zeb about the insane amount of fun things you can do with this world and some of them even expressed desire to maybe one day give writing them a shot. So maybe Saint Seiya isn’t Game of Thrones, or even Dragon Ball, but it does sound like it is something. And that if a passionate fan just takes the time, they could make it that something. So why doesn’t it happen? Especially when some people, like me, are obsessed enough to give it a go? Well, frankly, cause it’s a fool’s errand. 4. Saint Seiya Rewrites and “What the Fans Want” Saint Seiya fans don’t want Saint Seiya stories. They want an elevation of Saint Seiya stories into something of mainstream impact. The reasons for this are not monolithical, but it is the main driving force of what I’ve seen constitutes as the motivation of the core of the fanbase. This, the fandom believes, can be done two ways:

a) Finishing and adapting the now, pretty much, mythical “Heaven Chapter” that Masami Kurumada just won’t get into, which will usher Saint Seiya into a new age of Shounen relevance that will put it back in the pantheon of anime along with Dragon Ball and One Punch Man

b) “Fixing” early Saint Seiya, usually through some kind of new manga edition, rewrite of Sanctuary Arc or outright remake of the old anime, preferably cutting out filler

It is no coincidence that half the new stuff coming out the past 15 years for Saint Seiya that has gotten any sort of traction online (and not scoffed at or ignored like Dark Wing and Sho were) were either pseudo-sequels like Omega (see method A) , or movies and tv shows retelling the story of Galaxian Wars and Sanctuary Arc with new computer-assisted animation, 3D and now live action (see method B). There is a firm belief among fans that all that Saint Seiya needs to do is just get through Next Dimension and have Seiya finally climb Mount Olympus, Kratos-Style, and defeat Zeus, so that everything will be right with Saint Seiya and it can reclaim its spot of relevance, where fans can debate online freely in scaling forums and anime Discord Servers why Saint Seiya is *so* important as an influence to popular shows like My Hero Academia, Demon Slayer and Jujutsu Kaizen. I don’t know about you, but this to me just sounds a lot like Abraham Simpson fantasies, the kind where he complains he “used to be with it”, or how his descendants don’t appreciate him or give him the attention he feels entitled to. Its the kind of thinking that has no concern for the characters themselves, the voice of Kurumada or the style of storytelling they oh-so-love-so-much, and more to do with fragile weeb egos desperately trying to prove to teenagers online they shouldn’t laugh at their old show. But regardless of how I feel about it,... it’s the market of Saint Seiya. These attitudes are what define what the fans seek in Saint Seiya and what market researchers will tell their directors and animators to appeal to in future projects. Hence the glut of revisionist shows and remakes of Sanctuary Arc like Legend of Sanctuary, Knights of the Zodiac and now the 2023 LA Saint Seiya movie. So is there really a place for originality in Saint Seiya? No. Sorry. Well, don’t turn away just yet, this post ends with a positive message, just stick with me first through the valley of darkness. @melosfantasos is an author currently writing a remake of Saint Seiya. By their own words, “Saints of Athena” is what they wished Knights of the Zodiac by Netflix had been like. It is a fan rewrite of Saint Seiya, just like Bruno Masei’s “Legend of Seiya”. Melos, in some ways, represents this wave of wanting someone to ‘fix’ Saint Seiya, but rather than sitting around waiting for someone in Japan to read their minds and get to it, or stan accounts of fanartist shills on Twitter endlessly posting more and more ‘tributes’ to Shingo Araki, or make posts online about “Why aren’t things better? ＞︿＜Boohoo!” Melos took upon themselves to sit down and effing write. And you know what? Melos is doing a pretty good job. “Saints of Athena” is of relative quality and Melos has written 250,000 words in a year, which is a level of hardwork that should be respected no matter your opinion on the product. People, including me, have praised Melos for harnessing the potential of the characters and setting in a narrative form. And you know what? For a fandom that seems to think that the height of characterisation is Aldebaran in Kotz talking to a couple of Hoplites for five seconds about how tense things are in Sanctuary? Melos’ writing oughta be Shakesperean to them. Applause *clap clap* We got a real fan! This is it, right? This is what SS fans have been looking for. Someone with passion for the ‘narrative’ to take the reins and really use the characters the way everyone wants them to. So how many reviews has Melos gotten? 100 like Bruno? 180 like I have over 10 years? 450 like Jenny has? Maybe a 1000??? ... He’s gotten 7. For a year’s work. 3 of them are from the same people and one of them is from me. And I pretty much tell him in it that I won’t be reading because I am not interested in rewrites, but new stories. Uh. I’m sorry, what the hell? (￣﹏￣；) 5. Spin-offs, Fanfiction and ‘Originality’ in Saint Seiya It’s no secret around FF.net that Saint Seiya fics have been going through a review drought. I publish in AO3 as well and, frankly, I don’t see that much of a difference. In fact, I get a lot more hits per chapter in FF.net. So, the question is ‘why?’ Around a week ago or so, Melos asked in a Tumblr post (mentioning me in a flattering light, btw, thank you ^_^) how come fans don’t support more original stories. I’ve conversed with the fans in various spaces over a decade and I don’t think there’s one common answer to this question. I’m not the type that thinks my work (or even Melos, no offense, please keep reading) should be given more attention simply because it’s *original*, because let’s face it, nothing is really original. Especially in fanfiction. There’s nothing new under the sun. That’s just a fact. I don’t care how weird or quirky you think you are, you’ve been influenced by something other people are already aware of. I love @jennydevic ‘s Love You, Kill Me, I think it’s one of the most ‘original’ things ever done for Saint Seiya, but guess what? I can also see the influence of South Park and Batman Animated Series in it (especially after she told me she was influenced by these lol). Her Cepheus Albiore and her June are very much Bruce Wayne and Batgirl in their dynamic. The Andromeda Island gang are various Robins, at least as far as their relationship with Albiore goes. And it’s great. So, asking why fans don’t try more ‘original content’ just... doesn’t really mean much to our markets. I can’t blame casual fans for being skeptical to when I say they should read LR because “it’s different” or subversive, especially when a lot of inexperienced writers use this as a shield to their flaws. Besides, being original or subversive is subjective. I’m sure that to a lot of people, especially people of taste, LR is nothing new or ground-breaking. It’s just ambitious, at best, and not necessarily well guided. BUT... I do think there’s a lack of curiosity on the fan’s part hidden behind a veil of feigned-curiosity, and that fans that endlessly bitch about bad spin off and movies, but then would rather buy a ticket to them or spend some extra bucks on Saori’s beach-going attire on Saint Seiya Awakening (a game designed, by the way, to make it very clear to you that the franchise exists to rip you off) than search for things fans are making, are acting fundamentally hypocritical. And I’ve been seeing this happening for well over a decade, so imagine how resigned I must feel with it. “More than Gold” is an incredible story with a premise fans should love. It’s a freaking AU about Aiolos surviving in exchange for Kido leaving behind the Sagittarius Cloth in Greece and it delves into his emotions and survival guilt and having to live in a wheelchair and rebuild his life and relationships and fighting! If you’re a Saint Seiya fan of any kind, you should stop what you’re doing and go read it right the fuck now. What are you waiting for?! To get off work?! Quit your stupid job! All you’re gonna do with that money is spend it on Awakening anyway ￣へ￣ So go read it! More than Gold Is also about Jenny gradually discovering her love for Yaoi writing, but let’s leave that aside. There’s enough homophobes in anime fandoms. But if “More than Gold” is so goddamn perfect, as I say, how come it’s not being read? Quoted even? Because ‘something original’ isn’t what fans want. Despite what they might say. I don’t know about you, but there’s just an ugliness in the soul to going on Reddit and Twitter all the time and complain Toei doesn’t give you what you want, and then refuse to lift a finger to seek out works like Melos’ “Saints of Athena” or Jenny’s “More than Gold”, which give you everything you SAY you want, and very passionately so, but off the hand of someone that doesn’t have paid composers, animators and marketeers to legitimise it. It screams ‘envy’, not adoration, because it proves all you really want is for Saint Seiya to be what it’s not; a Dragon Ball show, but you don’t want it to work anything about itself to achieve that. In fact, many of these people don’t even try spin offs that are too different. I will never forget whiny comments made on Saintia Sho online publications that “I’m not gonna read this, because it’s Saint Seiya without Seiya. How does that even work? （︶^︶）” which is especially shocking because Chimaki is easily the most passionate spin off author of them all, in my opinion. She’s also the only spin-off author who writes Deathmask correctly, yet got the most horrible adaptation ever done for an SS manga and has been treated with dismissiveness by the fans since. What they want is something old with a fresh paint, so it won’t look so old. They want the LA movie filled with Marvelisms or a remake of the anime in the style of Hunter x Hunter’s, so they can ‘enjoy’ their cartoon without the shame of being confronted with its obsoleteness. Something ‘ truly new’ is the last thing many Saint Seiya fans want, because it doesn’t respect their nerd religion. And I don’t think people like me, or Melos, or Jenny or anyone else who want to write new things in Saint Seiya should be hanging on the hopes that these people will one day recognise them, or recognise some other fan’s work when they themselves are just sitting around waiting for a new cartoon to drop. But what choice do we have? To go ask Naruto fans to read them? And this, of course, hurts creative writing people who are passionate about what they do, because it puts them in an ever shrinking box of rejection and apathy. Jenny has made clear in her “More than Gold” chapters, even though the fic had a premise any fan of SS would love, that part of the reason she winded down production was because the lack of reader feedback was driving down enthusiasm. In her final words to the last chapter of More than Gold, Jenny says “Part of the joy of writing fanfiction is for an audience, but if there is no audience, there isn’t any point.” How heartbreaking is that? －_－Don’t worry too much about Jenny, though, she is perfectly fine. The author of Love You, Kill Me, the best Saint Seiya fanfic ever made, has moved on to greener pastures and is having fun again, bless her heart. The heartbreaking part is that we, Saint Seiya fans, have allowed this to happen. So what does this mean about me? And my obsession with Saint Seiya? Or with fans that aren’t interested in reading what I write? If there is no place for originality in Saint Seiya, why do I even bother? Pah, cause it shouldn’t matter. ＼（〇_ｏ）／ Duh! 5. Spite, Anxiety, Passion and Obsession - Why, after ten years, do I still write for a junk show I don’t like with an audience that isn’t there? It would be easy for me, after everything that I’ve written so far, to say that Lance’s Role is an engine that moves on sheer spite. I’m sure part of the truth lies in this, but that’s just too self-flattering. It paints what I do as some kind of protest against fans I don’t personally like, that I take joy in not being read by them. That I am, in a way, superior to them. That would be the Spite. But the reality is, no. I’m no better than any of them. I make plenty of mistakes in my writing and my beta-readers aren’t afraid of whacking me with their newspaper roll over them. Some of the most exciting moments I’ve had writing this fic is getting the Betas back from Jenny or my friend Elly and they let me know they like what I’m doing with characters like Lance, or Olivia, or Dohko. I am overjoyed when Jenny says she really cheered for Lance in this last chapter I wrote, or when Zeb listens to my character rambling, or when Elly tells me “hey, this is actually pretty funny”. It’s a very “please praise me some more $￣︶￣*$) “ kind of moment that any creative person can relate to. I still very much care what people have to say about what I write. I’ve recently joined a real writer’s server (as in, you know, people who PUBLISH) and I’ve had moments of incredible self-consciousness about everything I do, from my excessive use of ellipsis to the many references to mixed mythology that Saint Seiya forces me to employ. I’ve been embarassed to show them what I write, but it’s also been a very interesting experience because, for the first time, I’m around a group of people that admire writing in and of itself, and not just what panders to them. This means that, paradoxically, I am aware of my flaws, terrified of them and I crave the feeling of knowing I have defeated them. For now. I think that would be the Anxiety. I think that, in a lot of ways, people write these big fanfiction projects as an exercise of fan energy. We have these crazy thoughts in our head influenced by colors and music and animated movements and, like a composer, we want to put them into paper, even if it’s really bad and you can’t really put music, colors and motions into words so well. But we also want to celebrate with others that we can find that kind of joy in what we do. I can’t speak for other writers like Melos or Jenny, but to me LR has also been a vehicle to work out some very toxic emotions in myself. The 2010s were a very difficult period for me in a lot of ways and part of the reason why I’m still alive, not just in a physical way, is because of this fic. I’m a better person for having adopted this habit and I want to know that after I’ve gone through the valley of depression and self-doubt, I have something fun and engaging to give back. Something that excites others. That in turn, would be the Passion. What is the obsession, then? Why am I obsessed with Saint Seiya? ...Well, I’m not. I told you from the beginning of this post; I hate this franchise. It’s fucking lame and has no soul anymore. It’s largely just a vehicle, a setting for the story I want to tell. You could say I am appropriating Saint Seiya for my story the same way Kurumada appropriated Greek myths when he can’t even point on the map where the fuck in Greece Sanctuary is supposed to be at. He doesn’t even like his own show that much and his understanding of what Cosmos is changes every 2 years or so. The proof of it is that I don’t even know what to talk about in it anymore, and I’m one of the goddamn admins at the R/SS Discord server. Everytime I want to talk about Saint Seiya, I find myself steering instead towards the things *around* it, and noticing how similar they are to other cultures I have gripes with in real life, like culture wars, politics or just the conflict of attitudes between non-prospective people and prospective people. Even in LR, the things I write with are largely manufactured concepts of my own creation within Saint Seiya. Shamballa is not a real Saint Seiya place. The map of Death Queen Island I have made is 50% headcanon. Neither are real to Saint Seiya half the things that Dohko shows Lance in Rozan, or the Princes of Hades, or the False Holy War, or even Lance himself! So maybe the Obsession... is just writing! Fuck! Ugh, I’ve inherited all of my dad’s manias, and directed them at a cartoon! (=~= God help me! So that’s the lesson, kids. Write for the sake of writing. And if you get ignored, write some more, because if you really got the itch, that’s the only thing that will scratch it.

#saint seiya #writing #fanfic #fandom #os cavaleiros do zodiaco #classical antiquity

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xxwelxx · 4 months ago

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Ahh people really liked the vampire tsukasa piece I did recently but I think it’s one of my weakest pieces >.<

I feel like the amount of attention it got heavily outweighs how much I like it so I just end up being more confused rather than excited abt the attention I’m getting.

This is not to say that I’m ungrateful about the support, it makes me happy to know that I made something that people like.

I think what’s bothering me is the fact that I hardly had to think about this at all. First is the vampire already existed so that’s the pose and art style, cyberpunk tsukasa was an already existing character with a canon design, the poses for both were pretty similar so it’s been an existing idea for a while now, and I’ve already seen 2 other people do the same thing way earlier. The only thing I really did was replicate a style and pose, which took an amount of effort, sure, but not enough to make me feel like I deserve this attention. (Esp since I don’t think I replicated the design very well, but that’s just coz tsks doesn’t have as much going on as miku does)

This was my first non-ship tagged art to get this much attention, so I really can’t help but wonder if I’m doing something wrong. I really don’t know what I’m missing. I hypothesized so much but nothing definitive is standing out to me.

I love and appreciate art requests so much, coz sometimes it alleviates the pressure of having to think of something new everytime. And even the fact that someone wanted to see an idea already explored but in my style means more to me than you can think. The thing is that I chose to replicate a style the best I can, so I can’t even say that I was in the art.

The bottom line is I don’t find any heart in it, and it’s the thing that people enjoyed seeing.

As an artist who posts on the internet, I want to feel like I’m being true to myself and making something people enjoy seeing and sharing. It’s rare for me to get both, usually it’s just the first thing. But this is the first time I got the second thing alone. I didn’t realize how little I had to do with this piece until i received a lot of positive feedback on it.

It makes sense tho, people like the things they understand. This piece was reference upon reference, ofc ppl liked it. They felt like they could understand it all the way through. They recognized it. So it also makes sense that people are more hesitant to engage with a new idea I randomly came up with. So I really shouldn’t be getting insecure abt having worse ideas than already well established people. Familiarity plays a huge part in success. Ig it’s just a little discouraging that’s all BUT I WON’T LET THIS KEEP ME DOWN.

I am a little shy when it comes to sharing and interacting, so I can’t be too surprised that people don’t really know me much, but I hope I’ll be able to make myself more known to this community, I really enjoy the interactions I have with everyone <33

There’s also a lot of other reasons why this particular piece could have popped off where others didn’t n they’re very nuanced.

If you got this far please check out this one drawing I spent over 38 hours on. I will never do something like that again, but I still want to advocate for this drawing. It’s also a redraw, but it’s done in my style and it was done over a few months. A LOTTT of effort was put into it n I’ve learned from my mistakes now but I at least want to try remedying it a bit :,( if u want, u can also go through the # wel of doodles to see all my art in one place. I also post on insta too, @/xx_.wel._xx :p

At the end of the day, ship art does the best, and as much as I love making it, I don’t want that to be the only thing I make. (I get too burnt out from it) haha

#random rambles

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qnewsau · 5 months ago

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Award-winning Kath & Kim drag parody play goes on tour

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/award-winning-kath-kim-drag-parody-play-goes-on-tour/

Award-winning Kath & Kim drag parody play goes on tour

Crack open the Tia Maria and Jatz Crackers, because the award-winning Kath and Kim drag parody starring Art Simone & Thomas Jaspers is touring Australia, and Fountain Lakes on Lockdown is anything but a drag!

Covid lockdowns inspired comedian Thomas Jaspers to turn tragedy into comedy, as he fantasised about his favourite TV characters and it inspired an award-winning show that’s touring the nation.

“I started imagining Dorothy from the Golden Girls trying to teach online or making sourdough bread while in lockdown. And I have always been obsessed with Kath and Kim and Big Girl’s Blouse,” Jaspers told us.

“In lockdown, I couldn’t get the thought of mashing these two big parts of Australian culture together. Gina Riley and Jane Turner’s humour and the bizarre two years we spent in and out of our living rooms.”

Thus Fountain Lakes in Lockdown: A Drag Parody Play was born. It’s a love letter to a unique style of Australian comedy, as well as our unique pandemic experience.

“I kept the show in a drawer for a couple of years. I was sure it was a crazy idea that nobody wanted to see,” he said.

“Surely it was too niche, but every time I’d speak about it, it kept building.”

Niche it was not

Selling out its first extended season in Melbourne earlier this year, the show returns for Melbourne Fringe and is also touring across the country, including to Drag’d Out Beechworth.

“When Thomas reached out, I was excited,” Art Simone said who plays the Kath and Kim matriarch in the show.

“Live theatre is a whole new step for me. The world of drag I come from is very disposable. You put all this effort in, do it once and then you’re onto the next thing.

“It’s exciting to sink my teeth into a project where I can put all the detail and effort in. It’s also really rewarding to do such an iconic series justice.

“Audiences have said it’s like watching an episode live onstage. That’s the highest form of flattery, especially from die-hard fans. I’m so excited to take it across Australia.”

With the cast including Scott Brennan and Leasa Mann playing multiple characters, including the Covid virus and the Daniel Andrews Dancers and more. It’s set to have audiences across the east coast of Australia in stitches.

There’s always time for a laugh

“There’s something affirming about people wanting this show to come to their town,” Thomas told us.

“When you initially hear we are doing a parody or drag, you might think it’s tacky. But there’s a lot of heart in it.

“Many have found it a fun cathartic way to process the lockdown trauma they’re still harbouring post lockdown.”

Art added, “It’s wonderful we can all laugh about the most ridiculous parts of it now.

“It’s our shared experience. It will be interesting seeing how audiences in other states react and connect to it in their way.”

“Everyone is very much in on the joke,” Thomas added. “We’re watching these Kath & Kim characters go through COVID for the first time, but luckily we all know how it ends.

“Making light out of tragedy is what a lot of the character comedy in Australia is about.

“Taking people in difficult situations and trying to get some humour out of it. That’s very much what we’ve done with this show.”

Art laughs, “You won’t believe it, but I have friends who have never watched an episode of Kath and Kim. Those people exist!

“But regardless, they had the best time. They didn’t get half the references, but still enjoyed the comedy. Fountain Lakes in Lockdown has something for everyone.”

So what are you waiting for? From Beechworth to Brisbane and even the Sydney Opera House, grab your tickets to Fountain Lakes in Lockdown: A Drag Parody Play here.

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

#Art Simone #canberra #drag queen #sydney

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canmom · 2 years ago

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Animation Night 125: Peter Chung

[Animation Night archive]

Hiii everyone, it’s Thursday! And it’s a multiple of 5, which means it’s time for something ‘big’. Which is to say... full circle back to the creator whose Aeon Flux started this whole thing, Peter Chung~... one of my favourite directors.

^ me setting up an Animation Night...

But! We’re not here to watch Aeon Flux again this time! [Though if you wanna read about Aeon Flux, go check out Animation Night 52]. We’re here to watch the other works of Peter Chung! Such as Alexander Senki aka Reign: the Conqueror...

You see, Peter Chung is one of the few people to have the experience of directing both anime and western animation. The insights this gave him, related once upon a time on the anipages forums, were one of the seeds of what would become the ‘sakuga fandom’.

But let’s start at the beginning. Here’s a picture of Chung via imdb...

He was born in Seoul in 1961, the son of a guy in the foreign service, which meant his childhood was spent travelling all over the world (Wikipedia lists Seoul, London, Nairobi, Washington, D.C., New York and Tunis). Eventually they settled down to migrate to the USA, in Virginia. I’m not exactly sure when Chung got the animation bug, but it was early enough to send him to CalArts, where he attended their experimental animation program.

At age 18, he graduated CalArts joined the animation industry, working for the Spanish painter Salvador Bru. You can see some of Bru’s abstract paintings here; I haven’t been able to track down any of his work in animation. In any case, within a year Chung landed at Hanna-Barbera, working on character design, and also working with Ralph Bakshi [Animation Night 63] on layouts for his barbarian movie Fire and Ice (1983).

At this point he apparently got scouted by Didney for feature development, although which features he may have developed is not entirely clear. He also has layout and art direction credits for a couple of franchise works from this mid-80s period, such as The Transformers (1984, animation outsourced to Toei) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987, animated at an American studio then called Murakami-Wolf-Swenson, now Fred Wolf Films), and some less well remembered ones such as C.O.P.S., a bizarre animated spinoff of a reality show following cops on the job, and Ring Raiders, a toyline-driven show promoting toy aeroplanes.

Chung’s major break came, so far as I can tell, when he designed the characters for the inaugral Nickoledeon show Rugrats (see Animation Night 31 when we watched the Hanukkah episode), in which a group of children play in elaborate fantasy worlds. The show was a huge hit, although it was still a few years until Chung got the opportunity to create something purely according to his vision in Aeon Flux. In the intervening period he got to work on the post-apocalyptic superhero show Phantom 2040 (1994), once again on character design.

Then came Liquid Television, and Aeon Flux. Aeon Flux stood out amidst Liquid Television because its animation could easily have belonged a mainstream show... if it wasn’t horny philosophical science fiction, heavy on ambiguity. But by the same token, it’s specificity won a lot of die-hard fans (like me).

Since there are a number of interviews out there, let’s get some of Chung’s own words on what went into it...

O: You tend to broadly exaggerate your characters' physical characteristics, especially their height and their musculature—is there any particular symbolic or aesthetic reason?

PC: That's a hard thing for an artist to try to analyze. I could kind of try to pick it apart, but the simple truth is, that's the way I draw. I mean, I can tell you about my influences—my favorite artist is Egon Schiele, the German Expressionist. If you look at his drawings, they're very economical, very expressive. The first time I saw them, I thought they were perfect for animation. So I did make a conscious effort to try and adapt that approach to drawing. The other thing is… I was going for a style, when I was doing Aeon Flux, that was much more dependent on expressive drawing as opposed to lots of surface detail. In Japanese productions, they like to put a lot of highlights and shadows on things, to make things look very rendered. Each drawing has to stand out individually as an illustration. Having been trained in American animation, I wanted to have characters that were very realistic, but not so loaded with detail that they were going to be hard to move.

O: Your characters, both in Aeon Flux and in Reign, tend to dress in a way that's half formalized costume, half fetish gear. They often don't wear much, and what they wear is elaborate and stylized. What are your fashion influences?

PC: Well, I struggled a lot, when I was doing Aeon Flux, with how far to push the costumes, and how realistic to make them. I think a lot of illustrators realize—and you see this a lot in American comics as well—that if you draw costumes realistically, it's very difficult. You end up spending all your time trying to create believable drapery. So the tendency is to draw skin-tight costumes that mold around the body. This allows you to use the body more. You see this with classical sculpture, and dancers. You try to use the expressive qualities of the human body more—that's why sculptors prefer to work with nudes, as opposed to trying to make the clothing look accurate. Otherwise you end up concentrating on the clothing and not the person. The same is true with animation—I think of my animated characters as dancers. I want to be able to use body language as much as possible.

Chung’s comments here are interesting, in that his talk of forgoing highlights reminds me of the kagenashi approach taken by Mamoru Hosoda - in both cases, putting less complexity in the static drawings to allow for more motion, but still strongly influenced by the more solid drawing style of anime instead of the more 2D graphical approach of most American TV animation. Chung’s style of lanky anatomy with exaggerated bumps and details is uinstantly recognisable; only Robert Valley, directly inspired by him, is all that similar within animation.

What about Egon Schiele? Let me show you some of his paintings...

...you can probably see how he influenced Chung! (Expressionism if you’re wondering was a pre-first world war Modernist art movement which responded to naturalism and positivism by emphasising the personal, subjective emotional experience of the world. Thanks, Wikipedia!)

Alongside Schiele the German expressionist, Chung cites a whole lot of influences; lemme pick out some of the ones we’ve talked about on here...

I don't consciously model my style or techniques on any particular body of work. I try as much as possible to draw from personal experience and observation. I'm inspired by the work of other artists, mostly because they show me how good it's possible to be at practicing one's craft. They would include, in no special order:

David Lynch, Stanley Kubrick, Orson Welles, Alfred Hitchcock, Federico Fellini, Alexandro Jodorowsky [Toku Tuesday 27], Michelangelo Antonioni, Alain Resnais, Jean Cocteau, Allain Robbe-Grillet, Seijun Suzuki,

Osamu Dezaki [Animation Night 95], Yoshiaki Kawajiri [Animation Night 25, Animation Night 67], Yoshinori Kanada [Animation Night 62], Moebius [Animation Night 71], Kazuo Umezu [author of The Drifting Classroom, whose adaptation we watched on Toku Tuesday 19],

Egon Schiele, Horst Janssen, Frank Lloyd Wright, among others.

On comics, he’s pretty down on the state of the American industry, describing it as largely divided between heavy-handed narration where the illustrations feel gratuitous, and artistic flexes with weak story. He describes his aspiration to communicate the feelings of the characters visually, without being heavy-handed. So while I’m citing influences, lemme pull up Peter Chung’s favourite comics...

Here is a list of my personal favorite comics stories in no particular order. My choices are based as much on mastery of narrative form, as on originality of conception. Each of them appear to have been impelled by an inner vision; they are not comics inspired by other comics, but rather by dreams, obsessions, yearnings.

1. Baptism, Makoto-chan, Fourteen by Kazuo Umezu 2. Savannah by Sanpei Shirato 3. Mighty Atom, No-man, Phoenix by Osamu Tezuka 4. The New Gods by Jack Kirby 5. The Airtight Garage, Arzach by Moebius 6. The Incal Saga by Moebius and Jodorowsky 7. The Tower, The Hollow Earth Series by Schuiten and Peeters 8. The Jealous God, Envie de Chien by Cadelo 9. Be Free! by Tatsuya Egawa 10. Hard-Boiled by Geof Darrow and Frank Miller

I love Aeon Flux, but I’ve talked at length about it in the past, so let’s not spend too long on it here, since tonight the focus is on what came next!

In 1998-9, four years after Aeon Flux, Chung got his chance to work in anime - and not only work in anime but on a series co-directed by Rintaro (Animation Night 53, AN 62, AN 67).

So. Alexander Senki began life as a series of light novels by Hiroshi Aramata, a prolific and widely talented natural history researcher and novellist known otherwise for the occultist historical fantasy novel Teito Monogatari. Alexander Senki tell the story of Alexander the Great, but projected into a futuristic scifi setting.

For the animated version, Madhouse went for an international approach, and invited Chung to come in and design the characters and settings for a 13-episode TV anime, later compiled into a 90-minute film. Much of the animation was outsourced to the Korean studio DR Movie - one you’ll see frequently in the credits of recent anime, but I believe this was more novel at the time.

Chung commented on the experience in the above interview...

Peter Chung: There are many ways I could answer [what it’s like to put a particular stamp on a work he’s not directing], I suppose. In this particular case, it was different from a lot of other shows I've worked on as a designer. I've done a lot of work in the U.S. as a character designer, but in Japan, it's much more of an auteur role, where they really want your individual style on a project. In the U.S., it's much more collaborative. What was good about Reign was that they really liked the idea of things having an eccentric, personal style. And for me, that was great. A lot of that has to do, usually, in animation, with the ability of the animators to adapt to the drawing style of the designer, and they did a very good job, they tried very hard, to follow my original drawings. Whereas often, in American productions, they will try to simplify or adapt a designer's drawings to what the animators can draw.

O: Do you prefer the auteur method over working collaboratively?

PC: Well, as a designer, I like having the freedom and the license to design the way I want. So for me, working with the Japanese is better, at least from a designer's point of view. Now, working from the point of view of an animator, I think the animators had a lot of difficulty adapting to my style.

Animation-wise, Alexander Senki draws on the familiar techniques of Madhouse’s OVAs: limited animation and multiplane effects with moments of more complex animation. But Chung’s character and environment designs give it a particular flavour that makes it feel very different to most Madhouse works, really underlining the significance of a character designer to a project. The result, which takes a wander through the story of Alexander with a lot of philosophical musing was... polarising, but if you like Chung’s style, very appealing.

Since I cannot find the movie and it’s said to cut too much anyway, tonight my plan is to show 3-4 episodes of Alexander Senki - enough to give a taste. Because then the question is, what did Chung do next? He got a little more anime work, animating the credits to Party 7 - a live action comedy film which also Takeshi Koike on the map for its title sequence. Years later, Koike would make a spectacular tribute to Aeon Flux as an ad for the cancelled computer game...

youtube

And then we get the third entry in the ‘Aeon Fluxlike’ canon: Chung directed a segment of the Animatrix (Animation Night 6, long overdue for a rewrite though!). This was his first time working with significant CG - something he found a much more fluid process than traditional animation - and he was brimming with ideas, many of which ended up cut. Nevertheless, his entry is effective - pretty much just ‘what if Aeon Flux but the Matrix’, featuring a machine in a virtual environment designed to persuade it to defect. Chung says...

I mean, how many variations can you do on the story of someone suspecting that he's living in a simulation, then waking up? I decided to take a radically different approach and view the world from the point of view of the machines. After all, a robot would be more susceptible to delusion than a human. Also, I wanted to show that the human mind is just as capable of creating a rich and seductive dream world as a computer is.

And after these three splendid creations, what did Chung do next? I think most people if asked would draw a blank, since he kind of fell off the radar. Aeon Flux was adapted into a feature-length movie, originally described as more of an art film by director Karyn Kusama, but it was taken out of her hands and heavily re-edited by the studio into a very generic sci-fi action movie. Chung had little involvement, and was heartbroken at the result:

With apologies to both Phil and Matt-- who have publicly been effusive in their praise for the show-- the movie is a travesty. I was unhappy when I read the script four years ago; seeing it projected larger than life in a crowded theatre made me feel helpless, humiliated and sad. (...) I know that the studio made a lot of cuts against the wishes of the writers and director. Most of the cuts concerned further development of the secondary characters. Since my main problems are with the portrayal of Aeon and Trevor, I doubt that I'd have liked the longer version much better. I didn't when I read the script, and there are definitely some things I'm glad WERE cut-- like Catherine's pregnancy. Maybe the makers didn't understand the source material and thought they were being true to it; or they understood it, but didn't think it would appeal to a wide enough audience and altered it to suit their presumed target. They claim to love the original version; yet they do not extend that faith to their audience. No, they will soften it for the public, which isn't hip enough to appreciate the raw, pure, unadulterated source like they do. (...) Presuming to know what an audience wants to see and tailoring the product to fit is a method that sucks all the drive I'd have to ever create anything. It's self-defeating disingenuous. I'm not naive about the realities of making unconventional films in the arena of "mass entertainment". It's possible to make good unconventional films; it's also very hard. In any case, if you're going to risk failure, I say do it boldly, with conviction. The problem with the movie is its failure of nerve.

But Chung never seems to have gotten the chance to direct a wholly original project again. The remainder of his work is adaptations or franchise work, with various big productions reaching out to him to put a stylish auteur’s spin on their IP.

The first of these is a short film bridging the gaps between the two Riddick movies.

Riddick? Riddick is a series of sci-fi action movies featuring Vin Diesel as a space criminal. I admit, I haven’t seen them! They weren’t especially successful at the time, but became cult films, kind of present in nerd culture back in the 2000s... and kind of forgotten since. The first movie, Pitch Black, sees Riddick and co on a pilgrim ship which crash lands on an alien planet, where they have to survive. The second, The Chronicles of Riddick, opens with Riddick in hiding from bounty hunters. However did he get there? Telling us is Chung’s job!

The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury is a 35 minute short animated film, created at Universal Animation Studios, which specialise in direct-to-video films. This was the first time that Chung worked with Robert Valley, who would later become well known for his two films in Love Death and Robots (Animation Night 99); fortunately this being a franchise entry does not overwrite that distinctive Chung/Valley style, as seen in this distinctive fight scene animated along with Jorden Oliwa and Lee Hong. It’s full of cool distorted perspectives in the drawings and distinctive layouts.

Chung next appeared three years later, on another franchise spinoff, titled Revisioned: Tomb Raider, a compilation series bringing on a variety of comics artists and writers to put their own spin on the game. This was supposed to be the first in a whole series of Revisioned projects based on games, but in the end it seems only one was ever made. Chung provided designs and scripts for the first three episodes. They’re all available on Youtube, starting here...

youtube

Videogame spinoff animations have a curious quality: they tend to have exceptionally lavish animation with all the videogame $$$ coming in, but often feel quite limited by being a promotion - more on that when I talk about Trigger’s Cyberpunk anime sometime soon. I’ll be interested to see how Chung handles this one.

Another three year gap later in 2010 and Chung directs his only feature-length film, Firebreather, adapting an Image comic about teenagers battling kaiju in CG. It sounds honestly... pretty plain by Chung’s standards, without much to distinguish it in either animation or the energy of the story. It seems to have disappeared without really making a splash.

In 2012 comes another brief videogame promotion, this time for Diablo.

youtube

In both this and Tomb Raider, Chung seems to have moved away from his earlier unshaded style; this one especially skews much more to ‘Western animation taking after anime’. There is, sadly, very little of that Peter Chung flair to be seen, and honestly I wouldn’t have guessed he was involved: it’s just a string of fight scenes.

The next year, Chung started working as a teacher at USC School of Cinematic Arts, where he remained ever since. It’s not quite the end of his creative output in animation, since he did produce the titles for Victor and Valentino (2019), most likely because the author of the original comic book sees him as a huge influence and asked directly. And that’s it, basically! A complete slice through the creations of the Aeon Flux guy...

What’s the plan tonight? Essentially the cross-section of Peter Chung works presented above: we’ll watch a fair chunk of Alexander Senki, and then have a look at everything since. If people are in the mood we might even rewatch a bit of Aeon Flux!

So! Let’s go! Animation Night 125 will be starting shortly, at https://twitch.tv/canmom - hope to see ya there ^^

#animation night #peter chung #aeon flux #alexander senki #reign the conqueror

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nevermindirah · 3 years ago

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Do you have any thoughts on the use of AAVE for Nile (or lack thereof) in TOG fanfiction? I've been reading some Book of Nile fic and some writers seem to write her as a Millennial™ (using words like "fave" and "woke") but never acknowledge her Blackness in her patterns of speech. I know we don't see her use as much AAVE in the films, but I would argue she's in situations where code-switching would be valued (first in a "professional" environment in the army, then around a group of non-Black strangers).

Hi anon! I have many thoughts on this and I'm honored you asked me! But I should start by saying I'm white and any thoughts Black fans and especially Black American fans have on this that they want to share would be beyond lovely. (I'm not gonna tag anybody bc that feels rude but please add onto this post if any of y'all see this and want to!)

The main reason I personally avoid AAVE for Nile in my own fics is because I'm not Black. But Nile-centric fics by Black writers tend to avoid using much of it too, at least from what I've noticed/understood, and my guess is it's largely for the reason you mention, that she's in situations that encourage code-switching.

In movie canon Nile is highly competent at tailoring her language to each situation she finds herself in. This fantastic linguistics analysis meta shows how skillfully Nile chooses her vocabulary and grammar to meet her goals with different conversation partners in different contexts. In comics canon Nile had a bunch of different civilian jobs before joining the Marines, so she would've had experience code-switching in the ways that made sense for all those different contexts as well as the Marines and her family and high school and wherever else she spent her time before we met her. And now she's spending her time with a handful of immortals none of whom are native English speakers and a fellow Black American but one with a Queen's English UK accent whose professional experience is in the CIA where high-status code-switching is often an absolute must for success or even survival.

Fics featuring Nile are charged with extrapolating from that to how it might show up in her use of language that she's coping with a traumatic separation from her family and her career and pretty much everything she's ever known and now she needs to be able to make herself understood to people who seem to care about her and each other but are super duper in crisis, three (soon to be four) of whom predate Modern English entirely and the only one who's anywhere near her contemporary she's not supposed to talk to for a century. All of these people are telling her that pretty much any contact with any mortals poses an existential threat to her and the rest of the group. How the FUCK is she supposed to cope with that, like, generally? And would it be a more effective way for her to cope if she talked to Andy Joe and Nicky using the speech patterns that she used to use with her mom and brother, to at least retain that part of her identity even if it means having to do a lot of explaining, or would it meet her needs better to prioritize Andy Joe and Nicky understanding what she means with her words over using the particular words and grammar forms she used with her family?

I've seen several fics, both Nile-centric / BoN and otherwise, explore this a little bit in how/whether Nile uses Millennial™ speak. It's often a theme in Nile texting Booker despite the exile because of the popular headcanon that he as The Tech Guy is the only other immortal who understands memes. But Nile's much-younger-than-Booker mom probably uses Boomer and/or Gen X memes and Andy has been adapting to new communication styles for forever as evidenced by her canon high level of fluency with standard-American-accented English.

Which brings us back to people avoiding AAVE because they're not Black and they don't want to make mistakes (or they're not Black and they don't want to get yelled at for making mistakes, though I think many people overestimate how much they'll get yelled at while underestimating how much these mistakes can hurt). I can imagine some Black fans hold back from using much AAVE in fic because they don't want to share in-group stuff with white people who are likely to then adopt and ruin it, as white people so often do with Black cultural stuff. Some links about this including a great Khadija Mbowe video. I'm saying this gently, anon, because you might not know: woke, an example you cited as Millennial™ speak, is AAVE, and that's gotten erased by so many white people appropriating it and using it incorrectly online.

And also there's the part where fandom is a hobby and you never know when you're reading a fic that's the very first thing someone's ever written outside of a school assignment. This cultural considerations of language shit takes a level of effort and skill that not everybody puts into every fic, or even could if they wanted to because they haven't had time to build their skills yet. It's definitely easier for non-Black fans to project our millennial feels onto Nile than to do the layers of research and self-reflection it requires to depict what Blackness might mean to Nile, and it's not surprising that often people sharing their hobby creations on the internet have gone the easier route. There's not even necessarily shame in doing what's easier. It's just frustrating and often hurtful when structural white supremacy means that 3-dimensional Black characters are rare in media and thoughtful explorations of them in fandom are seen by the majority of fans as not-easy to make and therefore Nile Freeman, the main character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood, has the least fic and meta and art made about her of our 5 main immortals.

I've been active in different fandoms off and on for twenty years and I barely managed to write 5,000 words about Sam Wilson across multiple different fics in the 7 years since I fell in love with him. There's an alchemy to which characters we connect with, and on top of that which characters we connect with in a way that causes us to create stuff about them. Something about Nile Freeman finally tipped me over the edge from a voracious reader to a voracious writer. It's not for me to judge which characters speak to other individuals to the level of creating content about them, but I do think it's important for us to notice, and then work to fight, the pattern where across this fandom as a whole Nile gets way less content, and way less depth in so much of the content that's in theory about her, than any of these other characters.

Anyway, back to language. My two long fics feature Nile with several Black friends — Copley and OCs and cameos from other media — but all of those characters except Alec Hardison from Leverage aren't American. It's very possible I'm guilty of stereotyping Black British speech patterns in I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. I watched hours and hours of Black haircare YouTube videos in the research for that fic and I modeled my OCs' speech patterns on what I heard from some of those YouTubers as well as what I've heard people like John Boyega and Idris Elba saying in interviews, but the thing about doing your best is you still might fuck up.

I'm slowly making progress on my WIP where Nile and Sam Wilson are cousins, and what ways of talking with a family member might be authentic for Nile is a major question I need to figure out. For that, I'm largely modeling my writing choices on how I hear my Black friends and colleagues talking to each other. I haven't overheard colleagues talking in an office in a long-ass time, but back when that was a thing, I remember seeing a ton of nuance in the different ways many of my Black colleagues would talk to each other. Different people have different personalities! And backgrounds! And priorities! A few jobs ago my department was about 1/3 Black and we worked closely with Obama administration staff many of whom were Black and there was SO MUCH VARIETY in how Black people talked to each other, about work and workplace-appropriate personal stuff, where I and other white coworkers could hear. There are a few work friends in particular who I have in my head when I'm trying to imagine how Sam and Nile might talk to each other. From the outside looking in, God DAMN is shit complicated, intellectually and interpersonally and spiritually, for Black people who are devoting their professional lives to public service in the United States.

One more aspect of this that I have big thoughts on but I need to take extra care in talking about is the idea of acknowledging Nile's Blackness in her patterns of speech. There's no one right way to be Black, and Nile's a fictional character created by a white dude but there are plenty of real-life Black Americans who don't use much or even any AAVE, for reasons that are complicated because of white supremacy. (Highly highly recommend this video by Shanspeare on the harms of the Oreo stereotype.)

Something that's not the same but has enough similarity that I think it's worth talking about is my personal experience with authenticity and American Jewish speech patterns. My Jewish family members don't talk like they're in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I've known lots of people who do talk that way (or the millennial version of it), some of whom have questioned my Jewishness because I don't talk that way. That hurts me. Sometimes when another Jew tells me some shit like "I've never heard a Jew say y'all'd've," I can respond with "well now you have asshole, bless your Yankee-ass heart," because the myth of Dixie is a racist lie but I will totally call white Northerners Yankees when they're being shitty to me for being Southern, and this particular Jew fucking revels in using "bless your heart" with maximum polite aggression, especially with said Yankees. But sometimes I don't have it in me to say anything and it just quietly hurts having an important part of me disbelieved by someone who shares that important part of me. The sting isn't quite the same when non-Jews disbelieve or discount my Jewishness, but that hurts too.

Who counts as authentically Jewish is a messy in-group conversation and it doesn't really make sense to explain it all here. Who counts as authentically Jewish is a matter of legal status for immigration, citizenship, and civil rights in Israel, and it's my number 2 reason after horrific treatment of Palestinians that I'm antizionist. But outside that extremely high-stakes legal situation, it can just feel really shitty to not be recognized as One Of Us, especially by your own people.

It can also feel really shitty to be The Only One of Your Kind in a group, even if that group is an immortal chosen family who all loves each other dearly. Sometimes especially in a situation like that where you know those people love you but there are certain things they don't get about you and will never quite be able to. I'm definitely projecting at least a little bit of my "lonely Jew who will be alone again for yet another Jewish holiday" stuff onto Nile when at the end of I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore she's thinking about being the only Black immortal and moving away from the community she'd built with a mostly-Black group of mortals in that fic. Maybe that tracks, or maybe that's fucked up of me.

Basically, this got very long but it's complicated, writing about experiences that aren't your own takes skill which in turn takes time and practice to build, writing about experiences not your own that our society maligns can cause a lot of harm if done badly, it can also cause a lot of harm when a large enough portion of a fandom just decides to nope out of something that's difficult and risky because then there's just not much content about a character who deserves just a shit ton of loving and nuanced content, people are individuals and two people who come from the exact same cultural context might show that influence in all kinds of different ways, identity is complicated, language is complicated, writing is hard, and empathy and humility and doing our best aren't a guarantee of avoiding harm but they do go a long way in helping people create thoughtful content about a character as awesome and powerful and kind and messy and scared and curious and WORTHY as Nile Freeman.

#nile freeman #linguistics #TOG POC Love Fest #nileweek2021 #tog meta #tog #long post #mine #antiblackness #jewish things #hi i'm an antizionist jew no i don't really want to talk about it

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aforrestofstuff · 3 years ago

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Chapter 149 Expert Review Time

Hey gamers what’s up time for another CHAPTER 👏 REVIEW 👏

It was looking kinda bleak last time for pretty much everyone so I’m hoping things improved this time around, but it seems Murata and ONE are kinda going through their “I’m going to put my characters through the MOST” phase so… that feels unlikely. But nevertheless… still excited to see my favorite boys.

The 10000th Psychic Sister cover. Murata, I’m begging you. There’s literally like 30 other characters to choose from. I know you like drawing boobs but imma need you to put the pencil down for a minute and take a walk because this just ain’t IT.

“Summer is coming” it is July. Summer has been here for ten years. I’m so fucking hot all the time. Everything has been evaporated out of me and I’m literally a raisin.

The Psychic Sisters covers are just so devoid of life a lot of the time… I wouldn’t mind if it was them fighting or engaging in everyday activities but when they’re posed for the camera and deliberately placed there to look sexy it just sucks all the human out of them. The cover/splash page is a great chance to show characters in a new light!!! It’s mostly set away from the story so you can do whatever you want! Choosing to make 80 fanservice covers is just wasted opportunity for what could be additional character development. It’s gotten to a point where even the smegma-slinging bitchboys on Reddit are complaining about the excessive sexy covers…. When PussySlayer384756 complains that there’s too much tittage being shown, that’s how you KNOW we’ve got a problem. Now, idk how the fan climate is in Japan but I can’t imagine they’re feeling much different over there either.

Also, her anatomy is… janky. Her tit is bigger than her head, her belly is too long, and she’s got like 4 spare ribs. Like, I’m by no means an art expert but it doesn’t take a chef to know the soup is shit, you know what I mean? I feel like page after page of Murata drawing obscene muscle men has made him rusty on what should be (somewhat) normal-looking people.

Darkshine learns what TRUE peak male performance looks like.

You’ve gotta wonder how Darkshine even got to the S-Class to begin with when he pussies out of nearly every single fight… except the one where the opponent was literal water. Everyone says that he just joined the association for additional validation, and I believe it… this boy is not cut out for actual hero-ing. 99% Of the time HE’S the one who needs a hero.

It kinda bothers me how useless he’s been post-Garou fight, especially when we spent like an entire chapter trying to console his ass. I get that’s part of his character and development… but it’s begun to slow things down. We get it. We don’t need to see him be insecure every time a new enemy pops up. One was enough. We would’ve gotten the same effect if he just sat out the entire time post-consolation, because everything that’s happened to him on the surface has been kinda redundant.

Here comes the boooyyy 🎶🎶

Nice callback. I’m glad Metal Bat is finally here. Bitch runs slow as fuck.

It’s nice to see him act on his own agency instead of orders from the hero association. He’s clearly much happier when helping out on his own accord, and has a ton of initiative too. The chapter he got with just he and King meeting up and slingshotting themselves to the fight was really a breath of fresh air from all of the fighting. It’s moments like these where ONE remembers that people like OPM for the characters, and not necessarily the pretty action sequences. I really like this duo. I like Metal Bat. I like it when they’re given time to be themselves and not just vessels for the next fight scene.

I know I said I wanted the heroes to die but Murata I’m begging you please don’t kill the child. You can kill Puri, though. I hate that fucker.

Child Emperor regularly visiting and eating with Bofoi even despite being his lab assistant would be a lot cuter if Bofoi wasn’t the human equivalent to a dog turd. I might’ve overstated that… seems like Bofoi is just using him as an errand boy. The clear lack of respect he has for CE is very indicative of his character and is not necessarily a bad thing plot-wise, but I would still like to beat him with a cane. Additionally, it’s clear that he’s not going to help the heroes here. At least, I don’t think so. His “fuck them kids” attitude seems to be a pretty big pillar in the building of his character and I doubt ONE would jeopardize that just because he’s written himself into a corner. Oh, well. We’ll see.

It’s very sweet that even when near death, CE still thinks of Zombieman. Aaaaghh it’s so GOOD when the characters actually LIKE each other. I know realistically not everyone is gonna be friends but man… it would be a lot cooler if we got more insight on their chemistry. Pleaz have more Metal Bat-and-King-esque chapters. I wanna see how everyone gets along.

Also, the concept of Puri just manifesting drilling powers and carving through solid rock with nothing else but pure strength and determination is so funny. A little convenient, sure, but I really don’t care because it’s actually done well. Their reunion scene is hilarious. More stuff like this pleaz….

I don’t even know what to say about Genos here. Dude, I know you made an oath to protect Tatsumaki or whatever, but there’s no shame in a good bail. You can’t even bail anymore because your damn legs are gone. See, this is what happens when you make promises. The secret to keeping your legs intact is doing the bare minimum. Hope this helps ❤️

He’s making a valiant effort but… I’m afraid he just ain’t gonna do much while roleplaying as a worm. Maybe he’ll make a chrysalis and come out as a butterfly. Wait, that’s caterpillars. Fuck. TATSUMAKI IS A GONER, BRO. WE NEED YOU TO BE THE DEUTERAGONIST!! IF YOU DIE WE LOSE 70% OF MERCH SALES NOOOOOOOO

Local man has a heart attack in front of thousands of little monsters and somehow saves the world, more at 5.

King I’m begging you please get that shit checked out that’s not NORMAL.

Yeah, I like this conclusion. Very tasteful cliffhanger. I mean we know King ain’t gonna do shit but SOMEHOW black sperm is gonna get punted like the little cumstain he is. Can’t wait to see the events that unfold next chapter… it seems like every scene that involves King turns out to be really funny and I’m super looking forward to black sperm seeing Jesus.

Also, a little off-topic but I just really like the way Murata inked his pants. Got a real comic book feel to it. I mean, he’s just really good at drawing clothes overall (save for Fubuki’s body-tight dress that is 100% not how women’s clothing works but I digress). Fucker understands fabric physics like I understand how to make a bomb ass chicken parm. I respect it.

In conclusion, lower everyone’s expectations of you and you might get to keep your arms and legs. This has been Life Lessons from Forrest. You now owe me 50$.

#one punch man #opm #zombieman #metal bat #child emperor #king #manga spoilers #I mean not really it’s been out for like two weeks now (I think)#Genos #Tatsumaki #puri puri prisoner #meta

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makeste · 4 years ago

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literally just another giant post of Bakugou faces.

so I did this last year, but I only got up to chapter 120 before I ran out of steam. happily, though, this left me with an additional 190 chapters’ worth of glorious gremlin faces to choose from for this year’s edition! which I figure I had better do, before tumblr finally pulls the plug on my poor sweet image limit.

so without further ado, happy birthday to Kacchan, and happy birthday to Kacchan’s asymmetrical HAH face where his eyes do the thing like ( ◣益◢).

why I like it: so this is from Kirishima’s flashback in chapter 133, where Kirishima was getting all down on himself because his quirk Only Does One Thing, and Kacchan was all “nah bro don’t worry about it because your One Thing is totally fucking rad, and you’re strong enough to withstand anything.” so that of course was incredibly sweet, and one of the few times we’ve seen him give an actual heartfelt pep talk without so much as a single insult thrown into the mix. but what really puts this scene over the top for me is the fact that you can see the ever-so-subtle hints of guilt and regret when he talks about All Might and Kamino. for just a moment, he gets this distant look in his eyes, and his expression turns soft and contemplative. basically this is a rare collector’s edition Kacchan face you will not find in many other places.

why I like it: because this frankly needs to happen in every damn fight until this kid finally gets it through his thick skull to ditch the mask so we can see every fantastic facial expression in full 4k glory. work with me here please Kacchan.

why I like it: because character growth!! this was our first big moment of post-DvK2 Kacchan development, and the payoff was well worth the wait. it only took him 166 chapters to realize that it’s hard to grow as a person if you’re determined to be a humongous dick to every single person you meet!! lmao, but it’s progress though.

why I like it: these two panels are criminally underrated. the way his face transforms when Deku gets the answer wrong dlkjfldk. this is easily one of the funniest subtle gags in the entire series.

why I like it: “hey Bakugou do you want to play in our band?” “fuck you, no.” “pretty please.” “fine, but I refuse to call it a band.” “well then what do you want to call it -- ” “MURDER.”

why I like it: GONNA MURDER EVERYONE BY PLAYING THE DRUMS!!!! SOMEHOW WE’VE SUCCESSFULLY COMPARTMENTALIZED THIS SCHOOL-SANCTIONED DISPLAY OF PERFORMING ARTS AS A DEATH MATCH. OH TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THIS YOUNG MAN’S MIND.

why I like it: hah?! I love how he has to tilt his neck all the way back every single time he does this. he’s so cute I love him so much.

why I like it: somewhere around this point in the manga Kacchan decided to do away with being handsome and decided to just be a full-time gremlin in every single panel. this persisted for the next 90 chapters or so and he was very dedicated. I’m pretty sure he was going for vulgar and intimidating, but unfortunately for him he’s too inherently adorable and so the end result is just endearing and almost charming in its own way.

why I like it: this was from chapter 194 when Aizawa was announcing that they’d have a special guest for the Joint Training arc, and so Kacchan was all “BOY OH BOY A NEW ASS TO KICK.”

why I like it: more character development! and just look at that confidence! he’s fully recovered from his low point after Kamino and the provisional exam. he knows what he’s about now, and he is THRIVING. and once again you can see how his conviction inspires the people around him and makes them more determined. just, he is going to be such a good number one hero you guys.

why I like it: it’s the three little “!!!” lines hovering in the corner next to his head for me. “oh my god it’s All Might, All Might saw me being cool and Saving To Win and stuff, what’s he gonna say what do I do omg quick act natural.”

why I like it: QUICK HIDE YOUR FEELINGS!! WE CAN’T LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE. fjkdlsjklk

why I like it: this is his expression when he first sees Deku activate Blackwhip for the first time. it’s one of the few unguarded expressions of complete surprise that we’ve gotten from him and I love it thank you.

why I like it: classic asymmetrical HAH face. he truly has perfected this look. look at him, casually clinging to a pole for no reason other than to look dynamic. this boy truly cannot sit or stand or walk or do anything normally. he spent three months working his ass off to catch up to Deku and the others, and now that he finally has he’s filled with so much pent-up energy that he simply cannot hold it back anymore and he’s gotta climb a pole. he’s just gotta.

why I like it: because he is so fucking good at saving people now you guys, he’s like a whole-ass professional and shit, and yet it hasn’t changed who he is one single iota. he will save your life and he will SCREAM AT YOU WHILE DOING IT and you’ll sit there and be grateful goddammit.

why I like it: o noo he was caught unawares. All Might was all “I’m gonna have a dad moment and nobody can stop me” and he walked right up to him and put his hand on his head because he’s All Might and so what is he even gonna do about it. nothing, that’s what. you got played, Kacchan. outmaneuvered and outfoxed. all he can do is stand there and make that grumpy face he makes when he’s receiving unwanted affection (҂⌣̀_⌣́).

why I like it: more unwanted affection. now they’re even feeding him ffs. how could he let this happen. mm chicken.

why I like it: GREATEST ASYMETRICAL HAH?! FACE OF ALL TIME. out of all the people to befriend him against his will, Todoroki is by far the most confusing to him and it’s just so great.

why I like it: this is when Hawks is staring at him in chapter 244 because he fake-killed his mentor and stuff and he feels sorta guilty about it. but meanwhile Kacchan just thinks he’s trying to start some shit, and so he’s all “I WAS FASTER THAN YOU BACK THERE YOU KNOW” and Hawks is all “hahaha okay little buddy you just keep telling yourself that”, because as previously discussed Kacchan is too adorable to ever be intimidating.

why I like it: this is from 246 when he’s in the middle of arguing with Burnin’ and all of a sudden Endeavor calls to him and he’s just like o shit what’d I do.

why I like it: because Endeavor’s mentoring them and shit and he’s just casually sitting there eating his lunch like yeah. with his lil hamster cheeks lulz.

why I like it: the look that instantly became iconic. this panel cured me of the misconception that Bakugou “goes to bed at 8:30pm” Katsuki was a morning person. the truth is he loathes all times of the day equally.

why I like it: this one is a team effort because Deku’s faces are equally as good. I’m genuinely shocked that this family dinner with the Todorokis didn’t prematurely unlock Danger Sense. you can tell that he and Deku have a silent agreement to call a temporary truce on their rivalry for as long as they sit at this table as outsiders in this strange land. this is by far the most hazardous meal Bakugou has ever experienced, and yet the mapo tofu is too good to go to waste, so he’s just shoveling it down his throat trying to finish as much as possible before shit inevitably hits the fan.

why I like it: Kacchan is New Here so he doesn’t yet realize that if the Todorokis are spilling family secrets, there is always inevitably going to be someone listening in the shadows just outside the door.

why I like it: the battle with Ending was probably peak gremlin!Kacchan. like, we’ve had gremlin before and afterwards, but never quite to this same degree. Horikoshi really decided to push the limits of contorting this child’s face in the strangest ways.

why I like it: peak. gremlin.

why I like it: nothing to see here, just Kacchan quietly realizing after 252 chapters that he MIGHT have been just a BIT of a cartoonishly villainous asshole to Deku back at the beginning there ha ha ha oh god oh fuck.

why I like it: because he found the answer to What It Is That He Lacks, and he’s all cool and calm and infuriatingly secretive about it. it’s such a sudden and stark contrast to the gremlin faces he was making only moments earlier, and it makes this moment hit home that much more.

why I like it: because this is him being friends with Deku!! like for real though!! because he’s fucking around and insulting him and making weird faces and stuff, but it’s because in his mind That’s What Friends Do. they clown on each other and help each other train and shit. half an hour after this they’ll go down to the training gym and play Catch-A-Kacchan, and then he’ll quietly confess to All Might that he wants to atone. he may be a gremlin, but he’s a gremlin with layers goddammit.

why I like it: because this is right after TomurAFO shows up out of nowhere and scares the shit out of him and Deku and makes them see a terrifying death vision and stuff, and you can see how shaken up he is by it. he definitely understands how close they came to dying just then and he’s sobered the fuck up. this is the moment when it really sinks in that shit has gotten real. eight minutes from now he’ll move without thinking and save Deku’s life.

why I like it: hydro homies. nothing restores those electrolytes like good old Raquaius Sports Drink.

why I like it: because this panel was when it started to become clear that the real reason he grabbed this sports drink was to pretend like he was busy so he could act like he wasn’t interested in Deku’s training because god forbid the neighbors know that he actually cares.

why I like it: because the sideways glance!! and the fact that he doesn’t deny it!! in fact he does the opposite of denying it, and he basically starts pouring his heart out about how goddamn worried he actually is. he’s guilty and anxious and restless and this entire conversation is amazing.

why I like it: he looks so goddamn young here. when he finally stops scrunching up his face and putting on his usual tough guy act and for once allows his actual emotions to show on his face instead, the result is so damn striking. for once we got an entire conversation with no gremlin faces, because Horikoshi had to drop them completely in order to show just how serious he is here. which was incredibly effective btw.

why I like it: because he’s basically just fidgeting with the bottle now to avoid making eye contact with All Might because he just revealed a deep dark secret to him and he’s precariously vulnerable right now. that’s the body language of a kid who knows how badly he fucked up, and just wants to hear from someone else if it’s going to be okay, if he can still make it okay. he looks so small here.

why I like it: the worry lines under his eyes. the look of uncertainty and wanting to believe that what All Might says is true (“you’ll get a chance to talk eventually”). the hesitance to turn back and look at him, and the way he doesn’t dare until he finally gets that small bit of reassurance. All Might isn’t judging him. All Might understands him and understands where he’s coming from, and he’s giving him his blessing. he’s giving him a thumbs up and reassuring him that he sees the change in him and sees that he’s sincerely trying, and basically saying that he has faith that he and Deku will be able to work it out. and you can see that it means a lot.

why I like it: because this kid spent his entire internship with Jeanist doing nothing but bitching nonstop, and then later on when Jeanist went missing he was all tight-lipped about it because once again NOBODY CAN KNOW THAT WE CARE GODDAMMIT, and it was all very Classic Bakugou. but then Jeanist finally shows up again at Jakku, and we get this little moment of happy, smirky FUCK YEAH, I KNEW YOU WEREN’T DEAD YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, and it’s just the best.

why I like it: HE’S SO UNABASHEDLY PROUD GOD BLESS HIM.

why I like it: because he nearly died and then he woke up here in the hospital two days later not knowing where anybody else is or whether they’re even still alive, and this, my friends. this is finally the moment. the moment where he was all FUCK IT, MAYBE WE CAN LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE AFTER ALL. character fucking development. you love to see it.

BONUS:

WHAT HAVE I BECOME, MY SWEETEST FRIEND. EVERYONE I KNOW GOES AWAY IN THE END.

happy birthday Katsuki. feel better sweetie. HORIKOSHI YOU BETTER TREAT HIM RIGHT I AM COUNTING ON YOU.

#bakugou katsuki #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha meta #bakugou meta #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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felassan · 4 years ago

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Some DA trivia and dev commentary from Twitter

There’s a lot of different tweets, so I’m just pasting and linking to the source rather than screencapping them all or making several different posts or something. Post under cut for length.

User: Was dragon age 2 your favourite in the franchise?

David Gaider: DA2 was the project where my writing team was firing on all cylinders, and they wrote like the wind- because they had to! Second draft? Pfft. Plot reviews? Pfft. I was so proud of what we all accomplished in such a brief time. I didn't think it was possible. [source] DA2 is, however, also where the goal posts kept moving. Things kept getting cut, even while we worked. I had to write that dialogue where Orsino turned even if you sided with him, because his boss battle had been cut and there was no time to fix the plot. A real WTF moment. >:( [source]

Mike Rousseau: I remember bugging that! And then being told it wasn't a bug, and being so confused. Doing QA for DA2 was an experience. Trial by fire. [source]

DG: So I think it's safe to say DA2 is my favorite entry in the DA franchise and also the sort of thing I never want to live through ever again. Mixed feelings galore. [source]

User: (I personally blame whoever it was for ruining most romance arcs in other games for me; they don't live up to Fenris's romance storyline)

DG: I wrote Fenris, so uh - me, I guess? Or maybe his cinematic designer, who put in the puppy dog eyes. [source]

User: If DA2 had just been an expansion, do you think it would have been better received? There was a lot of great stuff in there, and I think my initial dislike of it was because of the zone reuse. If it hadn't needed to be a full game, would that issue not have arisen?

DG: Hard to say. It was either going to be an over-scoped expansion or an under-scoped sequel. If it had stayed an expansion, it might never have received the resources/push it DID get. [source]

User: I'd love to visit the universe where you had an extra year or so to work on it. You did a very good job as it stands, but it definitely had rough edges. Not just the writing team either. The whole game had hit and miss moments, that just a little more dev time could have fixed.

DG: On one hand, DA2 existed to fill a hole in the release schedule. More time was never in the cards. DA2 was originally planned as an expansion! On the other, if we had more time, would we have started doing that thing where we second guess/iterate ourselves into mediocrity? [shrug emoji] [source]

Jennifer Hepler: This is what I love about DA2. Personally, I greatly prefer something that's rough and raw and sincere to something that's had all the soul polished out of it. Extra time would have helped for art and levels, but it would have lost something too. [source]

DG: Right? I think we could have used some time for peer reviews (and fewer cuts), but I think the rawness of the writing lent a certain spark that we usually polished out. [source]

JH: Definitely. I think the structure (more character-driven) and the tightness of the timeframe let each individual writer's voice really come through. Polish can be very homogenizing. [source]

DG: I should add I'm not, by any means, against iteration. Some iteration is good and necessary. The problem that BioWare often had is that we never knew when to stop. Like a goldfish, we would fill the space given to us by constantly re-iterating on things that were "good enough". [source]

Patrick Weekes: I appreciate your incredibly diplomatic use of the past tense on "had". :D [source]

User: DA2 was my gateway into the series and I’m so happy it is. I love the game the way that it is. It’s one of my favorites of all time. But I am also aware of everything that was said here. If it were remastered, do you think it would change?

DG: I'd be surprised if it was ever remastered. If it was, do you really think they'd change things? Do remasters do that? No idea. [source]

User: Both sides got undercut as I recall. Didn't that whole sequence also end with the mage leader embracing blood magic? It was very much "a plague on both your houses" moment, at least for me.

DG: Yep. Orsino was supposed to have his own version of Meredith's end battle, which only happened if you sided with the templars. That got cut, but the team still wanted to use the model we'd made for him. So... that happened. [source]

DG: I would personally say that DA2 is a fantastic game hidden under a mountain of compromises, cut corners, and tight deadlines. If you can see past all that, you'll see a fantastic game. I don't doubt, however, that it's very difficult for most to do that. [source]

PW: I love DAI with all my selfish "I worked on this" heart, but DA2's follower arcs and relationships are probably my favorite in the series. [source]

User: As I've expressed many times, I love the game, especially it's writing and characters but, for me, the most impressive aspect of it, in consideration of it's lack of time for drafts and revisions, is the 2nd act with Arishok. What amazingly complex character and fantastic duel

User: Just played it again and I have to agree. Though he is bound by the harsher tenants of the Qun, he makes valid points about free marcher society. Though it is obvious that he and Hawke will come to blows eventually, the tension builds gradually and understandably

DG: Luke did such a fantastic job with the Arishok I found myself sometimes wishing the Qunari plot had just been THE plot. [source]

User: What do you think would have changed, story wise, if you had more time for DA2?

DG: I would have taken out that thing where Meredith gets the idol. It was forced on me because she needed to be "super-powered" with red lyrium for her final battle. Being "crazy", however, robbed her side of the mage/templar argument of any legitimacy. I hated hated hated that. [source]

User: I deeply lament that there wasn't/couldn't be some sort of DA2 equivalent of Throne of Bhaal's Ascension mod.

DG: I'd have done it, if DA2 had allowed for anything but the most rudimentary of modding. ;) [source]

User: I mean, and I think I understand where you were trying, but how much legitimacy did the Templars and her as top Templar have after they're keeping the mages locked up against their will in the old slave quarters? Feel free to not reply.

DG: I think it's the kind of discussion which requires nuance, and which discussions on the Internet are not prone to. [source]

User: Was a compromise that the quest lines don’t branch? It felt like it was supposed to be that way but then you end up in the same place later regardless of what you pick. Like I hoodwinked the templars so good to help the apostates escape but in Act II they were caught anyway.

DG: I remember us having a lot more branching in the initial planning yes. Most of this got trimmed out in the first or second wave of cuts, in an effort to not cut the plots altogether. [source]

DG: "If you could Zack Snyder DA2, what would you change?" Wow. I'm willing to bet Mark or Mike (or anyone else on the team) would give very different answers than me, but it's enough to give a sober man pause, because that was THE Project of Multiple Regrets. [source] I mean, it's the most hypothetical of hypotheticals. It's never gonna happen. I wouldn't be surprised if EA considered DA2 its embarrassing red-headed stepchild. We'd also need to ignore that in many ways DA2 was as good as it was bad BECAUSE of how it was made. But that aside? [source] First, either restore the progressive changes to Kirkwall we'd planned over the passing of in-game years or reduce the time between acts to months instead of years... which, in hindsight, probably should have been done as soon as the progressive stuff was cut. [source] I'm sure you're like "get rid of repeated levels!" ...but I don't care about that. All I wanted was for Kirkwall to feel like a bigger city. Way more crowded. More alive! Fewer blood mages. [source] I'd want to restore the plot where a mage Hawke came THIS close to becoming an abomination. An entire story spent trapped in one's own head while trapped on the edge of possession. Why? Because Hawke is the only mage who apparently never struggles with this. It was a hard cut. [source]

User: I would LOVE to hear more details about this! I don’t suppose there’s any chance of a short story?

DG: I don't even remember the details of the story, sorry. There was a fight, and you caught the bad guy and then realized none of it was real and woke up idk [source]

DG: I'd want to restore all those alternate lines we cut, meaning people forget they'd met you. Or that they knew you were a mage. Or, oh god, that maybe they'd romanced you in DAO. So much carnage. [source] I'd want to restore the Act 3 plots we cut only because they were worked on too late, but which would have made the buildup to the mage/templar clash less sudden. Though I don't remember what they were, now. Some never got beyond being index cards posted on the wall. [grimace emoji] [source] As I mentioned elsewhere, I'd want to restore Orsino's end battle so he wouldn't need to turn on you even if you sided with him. And I'd want an end fight with the templars that didn't require Meredith to have red lyrium and go full Tetsuo. [source] Heck, maybe an end decision where you sided with neither the mages nor the templars. Because it certainly ended up feeling like you could brand both sides as batshit pretty legitimately, no? That was never planned, tho. No idea how to make that feel like an actual path atm. [source] Maybe an option to go "umm, Anders... what are you DOING?" 👀 [source] And, of course, a Varric romance, because Mary took that "slimy car salesman" character we'd planned and did the impossible with him. I can feel Mary glaring at me for even suggesting this, tho. [source] Lastly, the original expanded opening to the game which allowed you to spend time with Bethany and Carver BEFORE the darkspawn attacked. And, um, that's about it off the top of my head. Zack Snyder, WHAT PANDORA'S BOX HAVE YOU OPENED. [source] Shit, I remembered two more things: 1) Restore the "Varric exaggerates the heck out of the story" at the beginning of every Act, until Cassandra calls him on it. Yes, that was a thing. 2) Make DA: Exodus. Yes, I am still bitter. [source] God damn it, I meant "Make DA: Exalted March". The DA2 expansion, NOT Exodus since that was DA2's original name and makes no sense. Because the expansion ended with Varric dying, and that will always be on my "things left undone" list. [source]

User: Whaaaat?

DG: Well, you know that scene in Wrath of Khan where Spock goes into the dilithium chamber because he's a Vulcan? Well, imagine that but with Varric and red lyrium and because he's a dwarf. ;) [source]

John Epler: I distinctly remember referencing the bit from MGS4 where you crawl through the microwave corridor in the split screen, while cinematic battle rages on the other half. [source]

DG: It would have been glorious, John. Glorious. [source]

JE: I don't think I've ever been so certain what a shot should look like as I did Hawke coming in and finding Varric in the broken throne, just like when he was telling Cassandra his story. [source]

DG: It would have come full circle! Auggghh, it still kills me. [source]

User: Lord, you folks are a little too good at this.

JE: The true secret behind videogame narrative is knowing how to make yourself seem a lot more clever than you actually are. [source] 'Oh, we TOTALLY planned that.' [source]

User: Ok, this thread [the DA2 regrets thread, which is the big chunks above] but Inquisition.

DG: My regrets about Inquisition are, more or less, the normal kind. Nothing so dramatic, I'm afraid. [source]

User: You can keep your Varric romance, I want a Flemeth romance goddamnit!

DG: I would allow for one flirt option, and then a recording of Kate Mulgrew laughing for three minutes straight. [source]

User: I had a hypothesis about the repetitive caves in DA2. They're repetitive because it's Varric telling the story and he didn't consider them important. They're like sets in a play. (Okay, I really suspect it was a time/money/resources thing but I like my fake explanation better.)

DG: Hang a lampshade on it, maybe? Cassandra: "But that's the exact cave you were in last time?" Varric: "Whatever. They all look the same, I'm not THAT kind of dwarf. Can we move on?" [source]

User: that makes sense, hypothetically to make Varric romanceable and keep his arc—that had to happen for the main plot—I imagine you would have to make double the content (or more)? which would've been a tall order given the time/budget constraints the game was under

DG: Right. When it comes to "romance arc" vs. "follower story arc", we generally only had time to do one or the other. Never both. Romancing Varric would have meant not getting the story of his that you did. [source]

Mary Kirby: The one exaggeration I really, REALLY wanted, that we never got to do was Varric narrating his own death scene with Hawke weeping over him, then cutting to Cassandra's pissed off glaring at him. [source]

DG: Haha! The one I wanted was Varric's plot where he takes on the baddies single-handedly, sliding across the floor like Jet Lee, action movie-style, until finally Cassandra gets irritated and he has to admit Hawke & the rest of the party showed up to help. [source]

MK: We did that one! (He didn't do any Jet Lee moves, though.) Jepler gave him letterboxing to get The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly showdown vibes while he shot a ton of mooks single-handed. [source]

DG: Wow. Shows how much I remember. [source]

JE: I found it! I remember seeing this sequence as my treat for doing a bunch of much more challenging work. It was fun to see how far I could push our limited library of animations. [link] [source]

DG: Heh awesome. I could have sworn it was cut, honestly. I think I was even in that meeting. [source]

User: no disrespect but that’s surprising and rich of Mary “Hard in Hightown” Kirby to think DA2 shouldn’t have had a Varric romance when she wrote an entire book of Varric’s self-insert character pining over his Hawke insert character… HIH is the reason we had VHawke Summer 2018

DG: I can't *really* speak for Mary, or how she feels about it now compared to back then. I only know how she felt about it back then, and I'm not sure it was as much the concept of the romance but that Varric's entire story would be bent to "romance arc" ...a very different thing. [source]

JH: I remember pushing to have the first DLC start with Hawke having an option to ask Varric, "Did you tell Cassandra about us?" and if you picked it, Varric would answer, "Of course not, baby. I told her you were sleeping with X..." and then proceed as if you had had a full romance. [source]

DG: I still wonder how that would have gone over. x) [source]

JE: Okay, one more DA2 thing. Putting together the cinematics for this scene was a blast. [link] [source]

MK: These lines are my greatest legacy. I want "Make sure the world knows I died... at Chateau Haine!" inscribed on my tombstone. [source]

JE: I was so glad no one said 'no' to the crane shot. [source]

MK: It needs that crane shot. It's the perfect icing on that cake made from solid cheese. [source]

DG: The designers were all "we need more combat" and I think we were all "I think you underestimate just HOW interesting we can make this dinner party". [source]

JE: And finally. I think @SherylChee wrote the one-liner. I think we had a collection of like, 20. [link] [source]

Sheryl Chee: Yeah! Something like that! I remember submitted a whole bunch and Frank said you only needed one. Wish I'd kept the other fifteen. [source]

JE: A random chooser where, each time through the scene, you get a different one-liner. [source]

JE: DA2 is the project I'm the proudest of. I also absolutely get that it didn't land for a lot of people. But I don't think it's inaccurate to say that, in a lot of ways, DA2 defined my career. [source] Everyone spent a year working at their maximum ability. I was a fresh cinematic designer and was given all of Varric's content, as well as the Act 1 Finale mission. It was a lot for someone who had been doing the Cinematics thing for literally 6 months. [source] There's some stuff in there I can't look at without wincing. And there's some stuff I'm genuinely proud of. Not to mention, it was my introduction to most of the writing team. Several of whom I'm still working with today! Albeit in a different capacity [source] Also, weirdly, one of my most enduring memories of Dragon Age 2 is how much Bad Company 2 we'd play at lunch. It was a LOT. [source] Every game I've worked on has a game I played attached to it. ME2 is Borderlands. DA2 is Bad Company 2. DAI is DayZ. I, hmm. There's a progression there. I don't know how I feel about it. [source]

User: Is DA4 going to be tarkov then?

JE: I've kind of churned out of Tarkov for now. Probably Hunt Showdown, at least right now. [source]

User: I think people also don't take nuance into consideration -- like I FULLY acknowledge the flaws in my favorite games and will openly criticize them, but that doesn't mean they're not my favorite games anymore??? You can like and thing and still be critical of it.

JE: A lot of my favourite shit is deeply flawed! I acknowledge it and I think it's interesting to dissect the flaws. [source]

User: I still wish Justice was an actual character in DA2 rather than a plot point.

DG: There was a moment during DAI where we *almost* put in you running into Justice with the Grey Wardens, and he's all "Kirkwall? I never went to Kirkwall" [source]

User: Does that imply that Justice was shoehorned in to DA2?

DG: Nah, it was an in-joke where we thought it'd be fun to suggest that "Justice" was simply some demon that tricked Anders in DA2. Wooo those tricky demons! We didn't do it, though. [source]

User: [about templars] except, I don't think it had very much legitimacy to begin with. keep in mind, we interact with other characters with the same argument. The one that comes to mind is Cullen, a sane templar in power. The templar's side of the argument is inherently flawed.

DG: I don't doubt that many people agree with you, and yet people can and do argue on behalf of the templars as well. My place isn't to pick a side, but to provide evidence that players can interpret for themselves [source]

User: Can you shed some light for us on how DA was able to do multiple same-sex romance options for different genders but the Mass Effect team treated them like the plague? What process existed for your team that just wasn't their for the other tentpole franchise?

DG: Different people making the decisions, almost different cultures. I don't know what it's like now, but for many years the Mass Effect team and the Dragon Age team were almost like two different studios working within the same building. [source]

User: It truly boggles the mind. Kudos for doing demonstrably better on consistent queer representation than the ME teams. Y'all never needed us to make petitions to try to get the studio's attention and ask them to do better by us. That's the fight we're once again embroiled in now.

DG: Honestly, I don't feel like tut-tutting the Mass Effect team. They did their part, and if they were a bit later to the show than the DA team they certainly did more than almost every other game out there -- and willingly. [source]

Updates begin here

User: So what was the reason for naming Dragon age 2 "Dragon age II" and not using a subtitle?

DG: As I recall, that was purely a publisher decision. I think they wanted to avoid the impression it was an expansion. [source]

User: Is there no chance of ever remaking DA2 under better circumstances? -Somehow remove the repetitiveness of gameplay by making changes and updating the tech and adding much more to the storyline. It could almost be a new very exciting game.

DG: I'd say there's zero chance of that. Let's keep our hopes up for the next DA title instead. [source]

User: I am a little confused here, help me out here please! How exactly was the cut boss battle with Orsino supposed to work out? How it would've kept him from turning against the player?

DG: It means that, if you sided with the templars, the entire boss bottle at the end would have been against Orsino and the mages. No fight against Meredith. The end decision would have been more divergent. [source]

User: I do remember that one of the reasons going around for that, was that resources were going to the transition to Frostbite. I'm still not fully sold on that having been a good choice. I felt that more time should have been given for that transition considering it was made for FPSs

DG: We didn't transition to Frostbite until DAI. Given our time frame for DA2, I don't think we *could* have transitioned to a new engine. [source]

User: Since your talking about the what could have been for DA2. Could you say what your script was for Anthem? Cause I remember reading that you wrote the plot on that game.

DG: I created a setting for Anthem and scripted out a plot - but, as I understand it, almost none of that ended up being used. So it's a bit pointless to talk about what I'd planned, as that'd be for some completely different type of game. [source]

User: [in reference to the exchange above where DG said “Being "crazy", however, robbed her side of the mage/templar argument of any legitimacy. I hated hated hated that.” re: Meredith] except, I don't think it had very much legitimacy to begin with. keep in mind, we interact with other characters with the same argument. The one that comes to mind is Cullen, a sane templar in power. The templar's side of the argument is inherently flawed.

If I missed a tweet, got the wrong source link or included a tweet twice, feel free to let me know and I’ll correct.

Edit / Update: Post update 22nd April

#dragon age #bioware #video games #fenris #the Fenaissance #long post #longpost #cassandra pentaghast #my lady paladin #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #mass effect

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marmotish · 3 years ago

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If that's something you'd like and if you have any story or fact to share, I'd like to see more or Freyja's metamorphmagus enemy... they're so cool, in a terrifying way. I never even had the idea of being frightened about metamorphagus before - they're Tonks, they're the embodiment of nice and awesome. But since I read about yours I regularly think about it and the very idea creeps me out like a real chicken muggle 🐓💦 (<- dats me and my cold sweats)

when i tell you i nearly bit through my fist getting this ask !!!

((AI-generated art from WOMBO Dream App - because Procreate is unusable right now))

i’ve been thinking on and off about this character for the past few months and have written down a bunch of stuff about them but i’m not going to dump it all here because tbh i’m still refining it but i can give you some bits and pieces

I wanted to make a character who shared some similarities in life circumstance with Freyja, but was also her opposite in many ways which meant they would never be friends. I also liked the idea of trying to make a Ravenclaw villain - like “knowledge is power” in a mind-games sense

Lior was a Ravenclaw in the same year as Freyja. Who remembers them? Nobody.

reasonably academically gifted but nothing newsworthy. being “adequate” infuriated them.

MASSIVE SUPERIORITY COMPLEX

could psychologically destroy you but would probably also go down like a sack of spuds with one good solid punch

remembers everything (negative) about everyone. that one time you bumped into them and didn’t say anything? written in stone

spent most of their school life just silently hating the “popular and powerful” kids like srsly just go outside and smell some flowers or make a friend

drawn in by pureblood elitism ideology during their later years at hogwarts. less for the idea of blood purity, more for the idea of enforcing a hierarchy where they would never be at the bottom

evaded capture at the end of the second wizarding war - relying on the fact that nobody knows what they look like or what their real name is

shrinks back into the shadows post-war, more bitter than ever.

kind of inspired by shapeshifters in general sci-fi media, and the terror about not knowing whether the person with you is actually who they appear to be

combined with their ability to probe through thoughts and memories, they’re able to convincingly act as the person they’re appearing as

they’ve learned to push the limits of Legilimency. They can appear in dreams and manipulate them to a certain point, induce visual hallucinations while their target’s awake, and with enough time/effort, manipulate memories.

your mind is basically their playground.

#hogwarts mystery #ask #myrealfeckingname #i was really torn between including character art or just leaving them otherwise faceless like they'd be perceived in-universe #and then procreate crashed just when i was nearly finished on the character art??#it’s a bug with the layers panel so it’s basically unusable rn #the character wants to remain faceless and anonymous because it gives them power #so i used the wombo dream app to generate this little piece

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kuiperblog · 4 years ago

Text

The first 1% is always the hardest

Usually, the hardest part of acquiring a new skill is starting it for the first time.

When you’re at an intermediate level of progression, you can usually just increase your skill level by incrementing up the difficulty linearly. If you’re a novice weightlifter and your best overhead press is 125 lbs, try adding 5 lbs to the bar and see if you can overhead press 130 lbs. (If not, keep lifting 125 lbs every few days until that becomes “easy,” then challenge yourself with 130 lbs again.) If you can do 10 push-ups, you will probably reach the point where you can do 11 push-ups, and 12 push-ups, and 15 push-ups, and 25 push-ups, and so on. The hardest part of lifting is day 1, when you might be performing certain motions for the first time in your life, and challenging your body to work muscles that you didn’t even realize existed.

I imagine the same is true of other fitness regimens: once you’re able to run a 9 minute mile, you probably have what it takes to run a 8:30 mile, or a 8 minute mile, if you keep at it. Eventually you’ll hit a plateau and the limits of human performance, but the first day in the gym is always the hardest.

This is sort of how the trajectory of my writing career went. And having talked to artist friends, and musicians, it seems like all of them followed a similar trend: they found a thing, they stuck with it, and over time found themselves advancing along that path bit by bit. It became a hobby or a routine such that over time, by by investing a bit more time, or a bit more effort, or challenging themselves a tiny bit more, they got better at it. And over years, the compounding returns of that meant that the girl who got a drawing tablet at age 14 found that by the time she was 22 years old, she had enough artistic skill to make enough money from her art to make a living.

I think that in a lot of cases, people were able to start down that path of gradual self-improvement in part because they were able to somehow bypass the hardest part of it -- they blazed right through the initial difficulty without even realizing it. They couldn’t even really answer the question of “When did you start drawing,” because they’ve always been drawing since the days that they were just doodling with pencil in paper at school. Maybe they just really enjoyed playing outdoors as a kid, and played soccer because it was fun, and made the seamless transition to being a high school athlete. In my case, I spent a lot of time writing long-winded forum posts explaining the finer points of topics I was passionate about (which, at age 13, was mostly Pokemon and Final Fantasy), and somehow by my 20′s I had enough of a penchant for explaining things that I was able to parley that into a writing career (so I can get paid for my long-winded explanations of Pokemon-related topics).

The early days of learning to write kind of sucked and were difficult. (For starters, remember how unintuitive that QWERTY keyboard was the first time that you learned to type? Remember how painful it was to hunt-and-peck your way through sentences at an effective rate of <10 words per minute?) But my desire to talk about Pokemon on message boards overwhelmed any difficulty or “suckiness” involved with learning to express my ideas through text, and so the suckiness of those early days wasn’t really much of an obstacle.

More and more, I’ve come to believe that the most important part of learning a new skill is finding a way to get over that initial difficulty hump -- of finding a way to survive the first day, and then the first week, and then the first month, and eventually reach a point where inertia carries you forward on a gradual upward slope of self-improvement where you’re not even consciously thinking too hard about improvement; you just randomly muse to yourself one day, “Oh yeah, this barbell I’m picking up weighs about 100 lbs more than the barbell I was lifting a year ago. Fancy that.” The longer you keep at it, the easier it is to stick with it.

In many corners of the internet, there’s an oft-repeated adage that “Watching anime won’t teach you to speak or understand Japanese.” And sure, that’s obviously true on some level. If someone is thinking they’re going to spend a thousand hours watching subtitled anime, and then one day flip off the subtitles and be able to follow everything without missing a beat, they’re probably a bit delusional. If you want to actually achieve anything approaching Japanese fluency, you’re probably going to have to take a Japanese learning course, and engaged in spaced repetition to pick up and retain vocabulary, and all of the other stuff that goes into learning any language.

But I think that watching anime does provide you with one big advantage: it goes a long way toward helping you cross that “day 1″ hump. Because the first day is always the hardest. Going from 0 to 1 is harder than increasing your vocabulary by a few new words every week. Before you can get the compounding returns from incrementally improving at a skill, you have to have a starting principle. And I think that watching anime is actually quite good for that, because only knowing “weeaboo Japanese” will give you 20-30% of the vocabulary that’s included in your first couple Japanese lessons.

I’m speaking from personal experience: it’s incredibly heartening to go through a lesson and encounter words that I’m already familiar with. Even if my fluency in “weeaboo Japanese” only covers 10% of what’s introduced in a given lesson, having a head start gives me an intangible confidence boost which makes it easier for me to focus on and retain the other 90%.

I don’t want to understate the importance of that intangible confidence boost: a lot of language acquisition is getting comfortable with a language, and repeating something so much that you do it without even thinking about it. For example, in English, sometimes sometimes someone might ask you “how’s it going?” and you might answer “fine” before your brain has even consciously registered the meaning of what you were hearing, or saying. And I’m enough of a weeb that I can hear i tenki desu ne and immediately reflexively respond with sou desu ne, before my brain has even consciously registered the question being asked (sometimes taking several seconds to mentally backtrack and realize, “Oh right, the “i tenki” part means “nice weather.”). But years and years of listening and pattern recognition have taught me that when someone ends a sentence in desu ne? with the sort of inflection that says “I’m asking you a rhetorical question,” the proper response is probably sou desu ne, and my brain produces that response just as reflexively as it spits out “I’m doing fine, how about you?” any time someone asks “How’s it going?”)

One thing I’ve come to notice is that every lesson begins with some of some amount of review, giving you that spaced repetition, and providing context for the new words and concepts that the lesson is about to introduce, and generally provide a foundation for the new material. Day 1 is, by necessity, the exception -- how can you “review” material that you’ve never covered before? But for me, the day 1 lessons on how to say nihongo and arigato and watashi and anata were already “review” of topics that I picked up through years of being a weeb.

Besides that, there’s the fact that the structural elements of Japanese are something that my brain was naturally able to grok in a way that is intuitive to me after spending years listening to spoken Japanese even though most of it is contextual. (Like, I’m not sure when this happened, but at a certain point I think my brain just kind of learned, when listening to Japanese sentences, to approximate which parts were the verb and where certain clauses landed in the sentence, if only because when watching anime with subtitles you become consciously aware of when a character’s name appears in the dialog.) I’m not really consciously thinking about it, which kind of feels like the “natural” way to learn a language. (After all, it’s not as if native English speakers, as toddlers, consciously think to themselves, “Ah, it seems as though English typically follows a subject-verb-object grammar structure.” Kids just listen to adults speaking English and form sentences that way without really having to be formally taught.)

It’s highly likely that at some point in my internet career that I have at one point been the cynical message board poster telling someone that, contrary to their fantasies, watching anime isn’t going to help them learn Japanese in any real or material way, and if I’ve ever suggested that, it’s time for me to eat crow. Because while the advantage that “weeaboo-level Japanese” gives you might be small, and only help you on the first few days of Japanese class, those are the most important days, because the first 1% is always the hardest.

My familiarity with “weeaboo-level Japanese” has only given me one disadvantage, and that is that years of memes have poisoned my brain to the point where the first I was prompted with “say ‘excuse me’ in Japanese,” my brain (and mouth) immediately spat out “sorrymasen,” and I wish I could say it only happened once, but it wasn’t until around day 3 that I managed to fully train this habit out of myself.

#japanese vocabulary #learning japanese #japanese

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tomatograter · 4 years ago

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i saw on twitter you reread the epilogues! would it be okay to ask how you feel about them now on a reread? have any of your opinions changed, for better or worse? i've really loved the art and analysis that's come out of your tumblr/twitter ever since they dropped, so i'm excited to know what you think. i couldn't get a great read on your feelings based on your tweets so that is why i am asking directly, hope that's okay!

Not much changed. That wasn't the first time I attempted to re-read the HS Epilogues, I've gone through bits and pieces of them a handful of times in the years since the original release and it's an effort I make to remind myself of events that happened because I tend to... forget. I don't mind reading books, I like those! In the hellscape that was 2020, according to my StoryGraph stats (great new site, by the way, stop using the Amazon-clawed Goodreads and transfer your account to a black led effort to diversify the current literary environment) I managed to read about 22 new books. Not too shabby for a total dumbass. The problem isn't that it was text-only, they just sort of mush together as a nondescript mass in my brain given enough time.

The first time I finished the epilogues, I said they felt like a purposefully unfinished text, but one at odds with itself (though in much more undercooked words, as I had just spent the last 2 days busy reading it) and it's an impression that has deepened since.

I do not mean anything like "Meat contradicts Candy" with this, that'd be foolish; the dissonance is the fucking point. I know how dubiously canon alternate universes work and I *enjoy* them, otherwise I wouldn't have wasted years in the circus ring that is accompanying Big 2 Comics in the hopes they'd do anything genuinely cool with that concept. Instead, I find there is a general problem in terms of internal cohesion. The Epilogues want to be a lot of things at once, be it a continuation, an expulsion, a deliberate attempt at public scorn, a somewhat genuine play in heartfelt analysis, a reinvention of what came before, or a loaded gun pointed straight at one's own foot. And in the process, they end up undermining the impact of their own strongest moments.

I don't like the Epilogues. Their lukewarm indecisiveness makes for a poor reading experience that needs far more asides, warnings and 'before you read it-'s than the book is worth. It is a text with a particularly distasteful, juvenile fixation in the show and repeated humiliation of sexual abuse victims, and manages to be more regressive about its female characters and what roles they're allowed to play than Homestuck, the 2009 Comic, ever was. And that was disappointing. It's as if the coming of adulthood must sort them into one of two categories: "wanted, desirable" woman or "unwanted, undesirable" woman. It also interacts with trans women in a really shitty way. It is a text married to traditional white-centric politics that makes an attempt to challenge them from that same perspective but falls flat on its face by pulling big moves like "making the alien-Hitler analogue character fight for a rebellion meant to represent racial liberation" and other unsavory choices. But I don't need to like the Epilogues to acknowledge them as both a text that exists and works within a shared universe.

They're pretty fertile ground for dissection and analysis. I think it's interesting how they accentuate some of the worst facets of the HS "canon"/"lore" by being incredibly blatant about their connection to stuff like the Skaianet archives, how they play with Fanservice and Fan Expectation by dedicating so much time to solving or sinking ‘The Davekat Equation’, and how they elaborate on complex facets of old characters. It's a text that acknowledges the existence of fanfiction and popular fanworks on a direct quotable basis (like "Can't sleep without holding onto a motherfucker" of 4Chords fame) as well as Fan Movements that preceded it (the also Gamzee-based "Free the clown!" Rush from 2016) it's intrinsically interactive, and that's not something you can say about a lot of media. The olive branch beckons.

I don't recommend the Epilogues. To me, the Epilogues portray glimpses of two potential, but not absolute, futures soaked in limiting metadoomer pessimism, best appreciated as "what-if" tales taking on the questions of serialization, post-myth, the self-cannibalistic nature of franchises, the abstractness of Canon, the absurdity of fanon, and why fascists like milk. The Epilogues are also not going to magically disappear or un-exist from our collective recollection anytime soon, or… ever. These statements coexist.

I think complex feelings towards media are best put to use in the making of your own art, which is unsurprising, given the fact I'm an artist and a fag, & I've personally enjoyed creating things that interact and rebuke aspects of that text. I've also been graced with the existence of wonderful art from others doing the same, may that be in the form of illustrations, written epics, analyses, comics, videos, songs, the collective transgendering of the series' main character, and all sorts of harder-to-categorize community creations. You can make the best of it. That's my favorite part of the whole ordeal, and one I don't regret one bit.

I hope this is an appropriately satisfying answer on this subject, and if it isn't, well, here's the thing; you can write a better one.

#homestuck #meta #the homestuck epilogues

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engekihaikyuu · 4 years ago

Photo

Hyper Projection Engeki Haikyuu - The View from the Top 2

2.5D Interview Translation with Asuma Kousuke

======

Since the show “The Strongest Team,” it’s been about two and a half years since you last played Oikawa. How did you feel when your casting for this show was decided? I really didn’t think the day would come when I’d get to return to Engeki Haikyuu. So when my casting my was set, I was so incredibly happy. This time I will be the only one appearing from Aoba Johsai. So that makes me a little sad, and I also feel some pressure since I’m responsible for representing everyone from Aoba Johsai and I carry the weight of all of their emotions. That’s the main challenge I want to overcome.

=====

Full interview and more photos under the Read More! Please do not repost my translations

Asuma-san, your debut was with Engeki Haikyuu. And now this will be your final time portraying Oikawa, so please give us an insight into your state of mind. I’m only here because of Engeki Haikyuu, so I really am very grateful. I’ve never been able to play the same character for this long, so it’s the character I’m most attached to, and I feel like I understand Oikawa better than anyone else. This is going to be the grand culmination of eleven shows, and I want to make it the best production yet, full of all of the emotions of everyone in the cast and crew. That’s the “Summit” that everyone in this company is aiming for, and I will be only one portion of that.

Asuma-san, you will be the only one appearing from Aoba Johsai, so is there anything in particular you’re conscientious of? Even with only Oikawa on the stage, I think the atmosphere changes. And because I will be alone, I want to be even more unrestrained in how I present Oikawa. Even at rehearsals, I want to be calling so much attention to Oikawa that even the director will stop me. (laughs) I haven’t been able to join the others at rehearsals yet, but I’ll be the only one there who’s been a part of this from the very beginning, so I think everyone will come to me with their questions. Like, “Show us how you did this in previous shows” or “Show us an example of how to do that.” Although I’m not sure I even could... (laughs) I’m sure there will be times when people tease me like, “That’s no good!” but if I can make rehearsals lively with that, I’m fine. Also in terms of age, I’m somewhere in the middle of the group, and this is my first time in that situation. Normally I’m always teased by my senpai, but since I’ve been here since the very first show and I’ve been able to see and experience a lot, I hope that I’ll be able to give some advice to others.

Are there any parts of your personality that you think resemble Oikawa? A lot of people around me say that I'm like him, but I don’t really think so. At first I thought we might be similar, but as I’ve gotten deeper into this role, I’ve become less able to say that. Right now, I can only say that I respect him. Oikawa has this one line that I like, which goes, “Talent is something you make bloom, instinct is something you polish!!!” In this world, there aren’t that many people you can call prodigies. Oikawa rose to the top with hard work, and I think it’s just too cool that I got to say that line! Even when I rewatch that DVD, I often feel like, “Wow I got a really cool line...” Even Iwa-chan says to him, “Even when you’ve become an old man, you probably won’t be happy. Even if you won some big tournament, you wouldn’t be completely satisfied, because you’re an annoying guy who’s going to chase volleyball for his entire life.” Oikawa loves volleyball, he’s obsessed with it, and I have nothing but respect for that.

Do you normally rewatch the shows you’ve starred in? It is embarrassing, so I don’t often rewatch things. There are things where if I watched them now, I’d think, “Man I sucked.” But when it comes to “Winners and Losers” or “The Strongest Team,” those are different and I used to rewatch them often even back then. I think to myself, “I haven’t done any other plays that are this rough. So I can do this!” They’re encouraging that way. Also I’m good friends with everyone in those casts. The sense of teamwork and friendship is very strong.

Speaking of your teammates, you spent a long time together with the Aoba Johsai cast. Please tell us about a time during a past tour when you felt strongly about your connection with them. There are a lot of things I can only talk about now. Everyone was my senpai, but at the time, we would argue a lot. Because we didn’t want to give in to one another. For the duration of the tour, we agreed that we wouldn’t have that kind of pecking order, and that’s how we were able to create those shows. There’s a scene in “The Strongest Team” when Oikawa says, “Thank you for the past three years!!!”, and when I saw everyone’s faces in that moment, I couldn’t stop myself from bursting into tears. I was just so glad that we really had become such a great team by that point.

Within the entire Engeki Haikyuu series, please tell us what you think is Oikawa’s best scene. The first is the opening sequence for the very first show. Because I was good at the count, I deviated from it to do a little double peace sign. And also that’s my very first scene as an actor. At the time, I was really nervous about even doing that one jump, but I’ll never be able to forget the view while facing the front of that stage. We don’t have any lines there, but it’s a scene that I have a very strong emotional attachment to. The other one is from “the Strongest Team” when Kyoutani gets over himself and really becomes part of Seijoh. Oikawa has continued to trust in Kyoutani, and he continues to grind that gear into place. The result is a unified Seijoh to oppose Karasuno. When I rewatched that moment on DVD, I have this really great smile on my face. I’d kept such a serious expression up to that point, so I really enjoy that shift in expression.

Tell us something we should look forward to for this show’s Oikawa. I think fundamentally he’s the same as when he was a high school student, so I think the highlight will be to see the parts of him that have changed with age. There’s a lot that wasn’t portrayed in the manga, so I’m personally looking forward to seeing how I can craft those portions on my own on-stage. I’m going to be fairly conscious of my manner and behavior, not just my lines. It'd be great if I can show his difference in age with how I carry myself. I also want to polish my jump serve more. My jump serve right now is the high school version, so I want people to see the change in form and power.

Earlier you mentioned the line, “Talent is something you make bloom, instinct is something you polish.” What are the things that you will continue to make bloom or polish from here on? Tell us your vision of yourself as an actor. I honestly don’t know if I have any real talents. But for now I’ve continued to get work in this field, so someday I’d like to be able find my specialties while focusing on the work in front of me. In the future I’d like to go overseas, so right now I’m studying English and Chinese. Haikyuu is very popular all over the world. Every time I’ve gone to some other country, there are many people who tell me, “I’ve seen Engeki Haikyuu!” Because I’ve been able to perform in a production that’s this beloved the world over, I’ve come to think that I need to go out into that world! After this, I would love to become an actor that can work all around the globe.

And lastly, please give the fans a final, exuberant message In times like these, I think that entertainment and the arts are absolutely necessary. I know there are many things to be depressed about, but that’s exactly why I want people to watch Engeki Haikyuu and then gain some motivation. This is a production where you can absolutely feel the passion whether you see it in person or through a screen, so I want people to see it whether through an official stream or on DVD. At last, we’ve reached the finale. Please support us to the very end!

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