#if they tell me to just take it out im going to cry
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you all loved my choso fic, so here's catboy/half-cat!choso (who'll ill refer to as just catboy) as a late christmas gift <3
sfw/nsfw:; RATED-R, masterbation, overstimulation, sub!choso, praise kinkâetc.
(â â·sfwâ
Catboy!choso, who is obsessed with how your soft hands touch him. He loves your touch, his ears twitchingâpurring loudly as you scratch in-between his ears, the pad of your thumb caressing the line over his nose, his eyes dilated close when your hand comes lower to the bottom of his chin, stroking the skin softly, he leans in, licking the side of your hand affectionately as his shifty eyes stare at youâsatisfied.
Catboy!choso who's a little flirtatious here and thereâhis tail curling around you slightly whenever you two pass by, or how his eyes intentionally shift to show that he needed some petsâended up giving you a sultry glare that you called him out on, he squirmsâhis knuckles and cheeks burn up a pink hue, blush dusting over them clearly.
catboy!choso, who doesn't want to be a burden and helps as much as he could when he sees you working or doing a choreâhis polite smiles and slightly capable hands move over to finish sweeping the floor for youâor how he tries to tell you that he could help doing your workâoh well, he's learning.
catboy!choso, when needy, and clingy (and perhaps showing signs that he's in heat), climbs on your lap and whines out: "want pets. Please." ears down and his head pressing against the side of your chest, trying to indulge much of you as he can before you finally give in and give him the scratches he deserves.
ânsfw under the cut >â`
nsfwââ°â âčàžș
catboy!choso, during his heat, lying on the soft and comfy sheets with youâshows signs of his clear situation, humping your side needly as he let out a string of whines, cheeks now red-hot while his face is scrunched, cock throbbing hard with need to breed you and stuff your cunt full of his cumâdripping out of your sweet pussy. His cat tail wraps around your leg letting out a couple of thrusts, trying to mimic the motion of thrusting into you, he just can't help it, you're so irresistible.
catboy!choso who's scared he'll get lectured when he hears you wake up, arms still hugging your waist as he slows down his pace, instead lightly grinding against your assâan alarm goes off, an alarm you set for the right timing of when choso's in his heat. Poor little boy, you'll definitely punish him when he grinds on you without your permission.
Catboy!chosoâwho, to his surprise, you actually don't scold him, being used to his heat and the multiple times hes filled you with his seed, you didn't mind his needy behavior of wanting to breed you.
Catboy!choso, he begsâ"please, pleaseâ let me breed you...p- please, baby.."
he whines, you groggily sit up in the plush bed, your pussy secretly throbbing in excitementâyou tell him to sit up as wellâCatboy!choso who is obedient, follows your orders, sitting up beside you as he pulls down his loose pajamas, revealing his pulsating cock, painfully needs reliefâthe tip angry, turning red. He whines againâ"I- Im sorry- I- I just couldn't help myself-" he apologizes erratically, his hands playing with his fingers as he looked downâembaressed.
after a few call backs on telling him it's nothing to be ashamed of and its normalâgetting him by saying you didn't mind and liked taking care of his 'problem', a few minutes go by and you're on your back, shirt pulled up not enough to take it off you but to reveal your soft breasts, bouncing at his every thrust as a sweaty, naked Catboy!choso, desperately shoving his large cock inside your tight hole, trying to feel all of you as his eyes threatened to drop a tear from the overwhelming pleasure.
he whimpersâ"a -am I doing g-good? p- please tell me I- I'm doing good baby I-" he grunts as your squishy cunt clenches tight around veiny cock, swallowing his dick even deeper just enough so his tip overworking hard pushing out all its pre-cum hitting the cervix of your pussy, god he could cry right now from how good your cunt feels, Catboy!choso swears that your cunt is so tight that he can almost taste it.
he cums instantly when you praise himâ"you're doing soooo good cho.." with that soft cock-drunk smile on your faceâhis creamy white seed filling every crevice of your plush, pink-pussy walls, painting your insides white as he actually lets out a stream of tears at the intense orgasm, trying to urgently catch more as he tries to shove, stuff you with more of him by fucking his cum inside you deeper, letting out blabbered confessions out his mouth that he didn't even mean to say out to youâwords that would leave him shy and bashful, his eyes widened further when he felt your cum bursting all over his cock, your soft controlled moans right in his ear, the feeling too much as he cums another load into you, cock vigorously overstimulated.
â{Ëtime skipăâ
"t- thank you..thank you.. thank you.." he whispers softly, cheeks slightly tinted as he hugs your tired form from all the breeding you both had done last night, kissing the side of your neck as he tries to come even closer to you. "B- baby.."
"I think my heat's not o- over yet-"
hello! Merry Christmas i hope you all are doing well<3, i think i went overboard with my details here- I do not own the mdni but owner told no need credit was okayâĄ! Please go support: @arminsumi! Some info here and thereâIf you wanna be tagged on my next fic or any other character's fic, please go ahead and dm me privately for it or simply comment so you can be on the taglist:) happy holidays everyone<3
ps. freaked out i thought i deleted my draft đ
#happy holidays from kuri đâ°â âčàžș#choso x reader#choso kamo x reader#choso#choso kamo#choso smut#jjk choso#jjk choso kamo#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk men x reader#sub!choso#catboy!choso#halfcat!choso#i dont know what else to tag lmao#đ
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It didn't hurt. Honest, it didn't. But his whimpers and tears would make you think otherwise.
You would think that he was being put through an intense amount of pain just from the sounds that came from his throat. But he wasn't.
You could assume that he was being held down, forced to experience experimentation that was far too cruel for Dr. Henry McCoy to be doing.
I mean this is the X men. The x men don't hurt people in their secret labs. Did they? No.
His breaths are so uneven.
He's shaking like a hairless cat in the snow.
His body is locked up tight, holding as still as he possibly could. Eyes shut tight.
"Wade? Wade, baby, look at me. Hey, Shhh.. shh, they're just sensors, honey."
But he couldn't. He couldn't bare open his eyes. He was too petrified to move. To breathe. To speak.
"Does he want me to stop?" Hank asks, holding one of the last sensors with the tape already applied to the back.
Wade shakes his head softly before quickly going back to his tense state, a statue who couldn't stop shaking in fear, gobs of tears flowing down his face.
"Subconsciously, he does. But he's just scared. He knows it's for the better but... well you know how he got his powers.." Logan mutters, trying to rub his back, very gently kissing the tears off his face but he flinches away, too terrified to accept the affection.
"And.. you've taken..?"
"Yes, Hank, I took his knives. That dosn't mean he can't hurt you though." Logan says, softly taking his hand, trying to ground him, saying this more to Wade then to the blue guy.
"He could kill you with just the sensors alone.. throw this bed at you.. choke you with the sheets.. he's very smart. Very good with improvision."
Wade is able to take a deep breath from the praise, trying to focus on his air intake.
"Why are you giving him ideas??" Hank questions, taping on the last few of the sensors.
"Trust me, bub. You don't want him to feel helpless or he'll find his own way to not feel that way. And you don't want that. Besides. He's doing such a good job. Staying still, and didn't even hit you yet." Logan says, staring up at wade as he very hesitantly opens his eyes, sniffling as he lets out a whimper.
"Im sorry, he's going to what now?"
"Just shut up and hurry it up. He can't do this long." The man mutters, smiling softly at his boyfriend. "You're doing amazing. Now just breathe. Breathe. That's it. It's alright. No one's holding you down but me. I got you. I'd never hurt you, Wade." He says, holding his wrist ever so slightly so that Hank could retract some blood from his arm.
Wades eyes widden, making a loud whine, closing his eyes tight and looked away.
"Shhh.. shh, it's okay. Just a little bit. Just like when Dotty checks your blood every other Wednesday. Remember? Yeah, Just like that." Logan says, smiling at him as his breathing stablizes, looking at him with thick blurry suns. "D-dotty?"
"Yeah, honey. Just like that. And Hank is going to tell you everything that's happening okay? No suprises. No restraints. Just me, and Your friend Hank. Right?" He tells Wade, who by now was eyeing the blue man as he brought over clips.
"Fear not, my friend, these are only to record results."
Logan puts a hand out, stopping him for a second. "Is that okay?" He asks Wade. He had stopped shaking by now but sniffled, still tense and scared out of his wits.
"A-are they gonna shock me if-if im bad..?"
"What? They better not! Hank!!" It was important for Wade to know someone was on his side.
"N-no! No... I-it does produce a very small and controlled mico electrical pulse, but it's harmless."
Shying away, Wade starts to cry again, breath wavering. "I-it's gonna hurt!" He cries.
"Hey hey hey, shhh we've talked about this remember? You trust me. Right?"
Theres a small hesitant, as if Wade was asking his brain to see what the council had to say before slowly nodding.
"Okay, do you trust me to keep you safe?"
There's another nod, hiccuping as he sniffles.
"Well, I trust Hank not to hurt you. And if it hurts you can tell me and we'll stop okay?"
Swallowing, Wade opens his mouth to say something, then shakes his head, tensing again as he looks away, his head toward Logan, trying to ignore what ever Beast was doing to his arm.
"You're being so brave.. what is it you wanted to say? Hm?" His hand comes to his cheek as he thumbs under his eye, smiling ever so sweetly, staring with adoration.
"..T-thats what she said." He giggles, wiping some snot away, only for Logan to roll his eyes, but didn't leave or scold him. He was proud of him for this. Proud that he was trying so hard, proud of him for being able to relax. "You walked right into that one.. huh?"
"Pft..You nut.."
This is your PSA, that medical advocancy is super sexy and is just as important as comfort. If a chaperone can not advocate, they should not be a chaperone.
Thinking about Logan taking Wade to Hank's and wade getting all nervous because the last time he tried to get help (and honestly- all of them) it has turned out terrible and the only person he trusts is his female Urologist because thats who gives him his bi monthly sti checks. Him bouncing his leg and being silent. Him staring at the door and the floor, breathing with skips and picking his nails.
Logan gently taking his hand and squeezing it, leaning over to kiss his head. "Don't.. I wouldn't let anything happen to you." He whispers but this isnt the first time someone has failed wade.
"Y-you know what-" he says, changing his mind, standing. "I think I left the curling iron on. We should leave. Like right now."
"Wade... Sit."
He whines, staying standing for a couple more seconds, trying to think of an excuse to leave before sitting, curling up into his arm, clearly scared. Because without his powers what is he? No, really. Take away his neat new powers and who is he? Useless. That's what.
The x men barley wanted to take him now WITH his powers, not even the goverment will want him without them. The wolverine wouldn't want to be with a measly crazy human, Someone so insane that when he formed his own team they all left him too. Everyone left him, so why wouldn't Logan? "D-do I have too?"
"It'll be better for you this way."
"B.. but I dont want too."
"Darlin' I swear you'll be okay. Everything will be fine."
Little does he know that Logan would love him with or without powers.
#medical truama#writing therapy#panic attack#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#logan howlett#wade wilson#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool 3#deadclaws#henry mccoy#beast#hank mccoy
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okay now weâve read the sunny x race fic⊠letâs talk about sunny x pope hmmâŠ
âËàż sweetener ê„ Ëâ â pope heyward x sunny!reader
â you come through like the sweetener you are, bring the bitter taste to a halt, then you⊠â
cw ; smut (implied but not detailed whatsoever), instinuations of public sex on the beach. not proofread!
pope thinks of himself as such a hypocrite. a couple years ago, he was lecturing john b about bringing in a kook to the sacrid group of pogues â and now here he was, dating you on the low.
he could never tell his friends about you. but oh how he wish he could. youâre stunning, with hair that blows so gracefully in the breeze, a smile on your lips (which are usually chapped from the sun) whenever youâre around pope. he wants to talk to his friends about you for hours, youâre so sweet. but, youâre a kook.
so pope hates to say it, but he kind of uses you to get away from his stressful life. youâre blissfully ignorant to the shit he gets up to with the pogues, happy to spend your nights and days on the beach with him, tracing his abs, sucking on his bottom lip and giggling with him, smiling a bit brighter whenever he calls you âbaby.â maybe âusesâ is the wrong word when it comes to why on earth pope spends with you, a kook, but moreso a distraction from his life.
pope had texted you half an hour ago to meet him by the beach beside the marina. no doubt heâd had a rough day and just needed to carress you for hours. you were looking forward to it greatly. but by the time you arrived, moonlight caressing your face, you frown because heâs no where to be seen. youâd never liked nightime as it is, preferring the sun, where you can see whatâs rustling in the trees and what shadows are in front of you, and you like it even less when your favourite company isnât with you.
you lay down a blanket on the sand and sit there for a bit. itâs 9:30 now, you got here at 9. with a huff, you text pope, saying, âhey pope im so sorry but i might have to go home soon because its late and chilly. where are you?â
you donât get a chance to respond when you feel hands on your shoulders from, behind. with a shriek, assuming itâs a scary monster in the dark, you turn arouynd and cover your mouth to shut yourself up the minute you see its only pope.
âhiâ sorry, pope, you scared me,â you say softly, patting the spot beside you on the. blanket. âwhat took so long?
âhey baby, sorry. here, my dad gave me some fries to give you âcause i was late,â he hands you the fries from his dads restuarant. ârough night,â
youâve never really asked whatâs wrong when pope is upset, but you assume what happened is worse than usual because he was late for you. so you ask, âwhatâs wrong?â
âlong story,â he says, leaning back on his elbows. âhave some fries,â
âi will after you tell me whatâs up. youâre never late, always way too punctual. so, whatâs up?â
âuhâ iâll put it simply, alright?â he checks and you nod, happy for anything. âmy family has this hierloom, âs really valuable and historic, and some kook stole it from me and the pogues, and melted it down to sell,â
âoh. wow, um, im sorry pope, donât even know what to say, thatâs really tough,â you say gently, eyebrows furrowed a bit as you pop a fry into your mouth. âwanna cry?â that makes him smile a bit as he shakes his head.
âno, nah, baby. appreciate the offer though.â he smiles at you.
âthen what do you need?â
âthink you know,â is all he says.
everything else is a blur. tongues, limbs twisted together, little smiles. everything tonight is slow â gentle. nights like these are your absolute favourite.
âdunno what iâd do without you in my life, baby,â he whispers while heâs on top of you, slowly sliding in and out discreetly through your underwear in case someone is taking a late night walk. âitâd be so sour,â
#ౚৠisa writes#im so sorry this is soooo bad#but i love sunny x pope sooo i wanted to write smth!#obx#pope heyward#pope hayward x reader#pope heyward prompt#pope heyward fluff#pope heyward smut#obx fluff#obx fanfiction#pope obx#pope outer banks#pope heyward obx
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IM SO SHY SENDING THIS RN OMG
Just saw you want requests, and I was thinking (not something good for me, btw) đđ about đđ kita w a really shy!reader and he asks the miya brothers for help, and they say that he should flirt w reader đđđ
IK YOU DONT REALLY WRITE FOR KITA AND THIS MAY BE HARD FOR YOU BUT I LOOOOOOOOVVVEEEEEEEDDDDDD WHEN YOU WROTE MY LAST REQUEST W HIM IT WAS SO GOOD I WAS SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP RAINBOWS IT WAS SOOOOO GOOODDDD UUUGHHHH
đđđđđđđđ đđđđ year and a half word count ; (719) content warning ; (request, more fluff haha, social anxiety! reader, asking someone out, advice from the miyans)
Youâre nervous. But, for you, thatâs normal. Your fingers are in your lap as you tug at your fingersâ a response to your constant anxiety. Your classmate is almost finished with their presentation, meaning that youâre up next. Your heartbeat quickens. You hate speaking in front of the class.
Beside you, Kita bounces his leg. You know itâs not out of nervousness, like it would be for you. Heâs always relaxed like that. Youâre not sure if heâs ever been nervous in his entire life. His fingers drum against his desk. He looks bored.
Your classmate finishes their presentation and a round of applause startles you out of your nervous haze. Kita clears his throat and stands. You do the same.
After you finish the presentation, you realize you were making a much bigger deal than you should have beenâ like always. Your face is hot when you sit down and you know your cheeks are a different color than the rest of your face.
You lay your forehead down on the table and let out a weak sigh.
Kita knows you get nervous. He knows you get nervous, because he likes to stare. He knows you get nervous because of the way you change color so fast, the way you pull on your fingers. He knows because he likes to pay attention.
You started at Inarizaki in the middle of his second year. Almost immediately, he recognized just how smart you were. You didnât advertise it like others, but your grades were always the highest in the class. He also recognized that you were beautiful. Kita had never been one for crushes, but he knew that what he felt for you was a crush.
Throughout the next year and a half, he had tried to get your attention. He had gone out of his way to try and get your attention. But nothing seemed to work.Â
He would make you food under the guise of simply âmaking too muchâ and you would refuse to take it, saying that he might need it after practice.
At least you knew he was on the volleyball team.
When he would ask for help on his homeworkâ even though he didnât need itâ you would tell him of another classmate that was far better at teaching things.
All of his attempts were unsuccessful and it was driving him crazy. So, the day of your presentation, Kita goes to the twins for help. He knows itâs a bad idea, but what has he got to lose?
âYa gotta impress her, Kita-san,â Atsumu says, popping a potato chip in his mouth. âGirls like it when you do impressive shit.â
âNo, you gotta be straightforward,â Osamu says with a sigh, shaking his head. âGirls like herâ shy girls, I meanâ gotta be told straight up, or theyâre going to think youâre just being nice.â
Kita takes Osamuâs advice, because even though Atsumu seems like a ladies man, Osamu has had two girlfriends and Atsumu has had none.
So, the next day, after class, Kita asks you to wait a moment. When everyone has left the class, he turns to you and takes a deep breath. âDo you want to go on a date with me, Y/n?â
He watches you blink a couple times, watches your face change colors, and briefly wonders if he should have taken Atsumuâs advice instead.
âUm, me?â You ask, pointing at yourself. You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and look away from him. âI donât⊠Is this a prank? Itâs not very funny, Kita-san. Youâre supposed to be the nice one.â
Kita doesn't know what thatâs supposed to mean, and he doesnât want to. âItâs not,â he says simply. âIâve been trying to work up the nerve to ask you out for the last year and a half.â You look up now and he smiles softly. âItâs not a prank.â
Again, you blink dumbly. He can hear when you swallow. âOkay,â you whisper, nodding. âI mean, yes. That sounds, um, fantastic.â
Kitaâs smile grows and he nods triumphantly. âOkay. Iâll text you the details tonight, alright?â
You nod again and, that night, when Kita goes to practice, he gives Osamu a firm handshake and makes Atsumu run three laps for the objectively dumb advice he had given.
#kawoala#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! x reader#kita shinsuke x reader#haikyuu kita shinsuke#haikyuu kita#kita shinsuke#shinsuke kita#return to sender
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ok ok ok so if i may be so bold as to request something, ive been enamored wiht the idea of an older, controlling, borderline abuse boyfriend jimmy, like he and reader live together on earth, and reader goes to college, while jimmy works physical jobs trying to support them both. he's a SHITTY person though, so hes jealous of any man the reader talks to, reads through their phone, makes sinde comments about their weight and appearance, and (im totally not projecting here) eventually pressures them into dropping out, for like his perfect little live in partner/gf fantasy sjdhasd feel free to do whatever with this, but this specific scenario has not left my head for days
WHEEE this was fun to write ^w^ i rushed this a bit but i just didnt want you to have to wait any longer... :p
â
Jimmy Zare x fem!reader
reader uses fem terms (girl, girlfriend)
genre: how do i categorize this.... fic that makes you feel bad or horny depending on how you handle verbal abuse lol
word count: 1.8k
warnings/content: age gap, domestic abuse, manipulation, arguing, fat shaming, several references to the readers body/appearance, jimmy being the biggest asshole oh my god i hate him (i want him so bad it makes me look stupid)
(is it bad that writing about jimmy yelling at me turns me on... WOAHHH who said that .....đ° also dont kill me for the weight shaming part IM A FAT GIRL !!!!!! i like when evil men are mean to me !!!!!! RAAAH)
â
"He's a good guy, he can actually be really sweet!"
That's a sentence you find yourself saying out of complete muscle memory at this point whenever someone questions why your boyfriendâ... well, they question an awful lot about your boyfriend.
For example, why he's over twenty years your senior whilst you're still going to class on the weekdays. Why he doesn't allow you to see your friends, wear certain clothes, leave your apartment without him, and why he takes up so much space in your brain, completely distracting you from your own life and goals.
You've missed at least four assignments this semester alone. It's stupid, really. You thought you'd be done with obsessing and crying over boys after you graduated highschool. It's completely immature for a so-called adult like yourself, but then again, you're hardly into adulthood at all.
Jimmy, on the other hand, has a lot more life experience, many of those experiences negative. That might be why you've taken some form of pity on him, going so far as to move into his apartment so you can take care of him when you're not busy. He needs someone to make sure he doesn't fall off the deep end.
The thing is, it's become hard to fit him in your schedule, but whenever you're unable to make time for him after he comes home from work, that familiar scowl on his face indicating it was another shitty day, he throws a fit.
He'll accuse you of everything under the sun; Infidelity being the primary thing.
"You don't love me. There's someone else, isn't there? It's that one kid that asked you to help him 'study' last week, isn't it? No? Give me your fucking phone, then."
This is what you come home to everyday, so it's nothing new. In fact, you're pretty used to it by now. Though today, Jimmy seems particularly pissed.
"Where have you been?" He crosses his arms and leans against the wall, eyeing you up and down like he always does when he's about to grill you on something.
"Sorry..." You mutter, way too tired to deal with one of his moods again. "Traffic." You answer simply, not having enough energy to overexplain yourself like you normally do.
"Uh huh. Traffic." He mimics you in a way that already tells you he's not buying it. Great.
"...It's the truth." You shrink into yourself at the way he's looking at you. Contemptuous as always. You're in for another argument, it seems. A million, desperate pleas run through your mind;
'Please don't give me another lecture about how you're my only financial support, and how grateful I should be. Please don't ask to see my phone. Please don't tell me to drop out.'
But, of course, you can't actually change the outcome of this. You're gonna get yelled at. Belittled. Degraded.
"You're two hours late, and you're gonna tell me you were just stuck in traffic?" He pushes himself off the wall and walks towards you.
"You're never home when you're supposed to be, and when you are home, you're all tired and upset.â He pokes a finger into your shoulder, hard. "What do you think that looks like from my point of view?"
"I'm sorry." You rub your face, exasperated. God, you wish he would shut up sometimes. Sure, he can be amicable, but lately... he's been a raging dick. Yet, you can't help but cling to the memory of his good moments. "I'll try to make it back on time tomorrow."
"Yeah? And how many times have I heard that before?" He sneers, "You're hiding something from me, aren't you?"
The way he accuses you so confidently, so sure of himself... it's insulting. Does he really think that little of you? "College has been kicking my ass, Jim. You know that. I'm not hiding anything from you, okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, college this, college that. Always complaining about fuckin' college," He scoffs, his eyes stay narrowed, still glaring. "How about what I'm going through? You think I'm having a great time every day at work, hm?"
"No, Iâ" You stammer, hating the way he's turning this around to make himself the victim. Oh, woe is him, having to provide for himself and his girlfriend. How tortured he is. "I know, alright? I'm sorry. I justâ what else do you expect me to do?"
"Be here. Like you're supposed to be. And I expect you to stop acting like I'm the bad guy for asking you to be a decent girlfriend."
Jimmy's voice raises slightly as he takes a step closer, towering over your sheepish figure. He nudges your shoulder again, even rougher this time.
"I'm busting my ass every day to put food on the table, and you can't even have the decency to show up on time, let alone look happy to see me?"
"Iâ I am happy to see you! I am, I'm justâ you don't get it. I want to be here, but... I'm not even halfway through this semester, andâ" You stumble over your words as you attempt, in vain, to defend yourself. It's not like he'll ever feel sympathy for you. It's always about what he wants. What makes him happy.
Jimmy rolls his eyes at your attempt to reason with him. It's as if he doesn't even register a word you say. "But what? What's more important to you, huh? Some stupid classes, or the guy who keeps a fuckin' roof over your head and feeds you? Be grateful, goddamn it." He snaps, grabbing your arms and giving them a forceful shake.
You flinch from being handled like you're not even a human being, much less one with feelings. "Stop, please, I'mâ I am grateful, I really am..." You're not lying, either. To be honest, his guilt tripping works wonders on you. Are you really acting unappreciative? He wouldn't be this upset if you were in the right...
He seems unfazed by your frightened demeanor and continues to hold a firm grip on your arms. He looks you up and down, not even having to say anything for you to know he's judging you, as a girlfriend and person in general.
"Oh, you're grateful? Then maybe you should act like it for once." Jimmy gives your arms another firm shake, a harsh reminder of who's in charge here.
"I'm not asking much of you. I just want you to be here, and you can't even do that. Do you think I'm just gonna sit back and accept that bullshit?"
"No..." You shake your head, looking down at the ground in shame. Were you really that awful? You didn't want to be a bad partner, it's the last thing you ever wanted. If you could make eye contact without feeling guilty, you'd see Jimmy's face light up with satisfaction as he finally notices you're not even bothering to put up a fight anymore.
There's a condescending lilt to his tone as he speaks, "No one will ever love you like I do. You know that?"
You nod, knowing there has to be some truth to his claim. He takes care of you, doesn't he? He keeps a roof over your head, gives you money for groceries, and he's not always that unpleasant to be around...
He's a good boyfriend. You're the problem. You always are.
"Exactly."
The grip on your arms eases, moving them to place a hand on each of your shoulders, contrastingly gentle compared to his behavior only moments ago.
"You oughta thank your lucky stars you have a man like me who puts up with all your bullshit. You get that, right? How lucky you are to be with me?"
You know he's right. You were blessed with someone who still loves you, despite your many shortcomings. You're too fat, the acne on your face and body is repulsive, the way you do your makeup is weird... all of this being things Jimmy has told you directly. At least you have an honest boyfriend, isn't that what every girl wants?
He gives your shoulder a pat, like he's treating you like a small, petulant child. "You realize I could have literally any girl I want, right? Pretty, skinny, smart ones, even. But I chose you. Because I care about you."
He pauses, letting that sink in.
"But it would help if you'd actually put the effort in to look decent." He adds as an afterthought.
You've internalized every single snide remark he's thrown your way, reminded of them every single time you look in the mirror. Yet he still loves someone like you. Someone so difficult and embarrassing to be with.
"Jim, I don't... I don't know how I'm even gonna be able to free my schedule at all with school and stuff..." You mumble guiltily. You know he wants you to drop out, he's suggested it more times than you can count.
"That right there, that's why I'm frustrated, goddamn it," He says with an exacerbated sigh. He moves one hand from your shoulder to pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Why don't you get it? Dropping out isn't the end of the world. Just quit and stay home. Done. Easy."
"It's not that easy... I want to get a good job and help out too, you know..."
It's true that you want to pull your weight around your shared home. With your combined income, it'd make everything easier. But... with how shitty college makes you feel, leaving you beaten down and tired by the end of the day...
You find yourself listening to Jimmy on this for once.
He can tell you're seriously contemplating it this time, which makes him feel... more in control. He's got you thinking and believing exactly what he wants you to. Soon, he'll be able to get you to obey him without another word from you.
The thought of having you as his subservient, stay at home girlfriend is more than appealing. It's his goal to mold you into what he wants you to be.
"Yeah, yeah, I get that, I know. But you're stressing yourself half to death, and for what? Some stupid degree? Listen to me, I'm not gonna ask you again. You're just creating problems that don't need to exist. Just quit. You'll have plenty of free time that you can spend with me."
You can't deny how tempting the idea is. Hesitantly, after several moments of pondering the hypotheticals and what-ifs, you speak up,
"...I guess... dropping out wouldn't hurt too much."
He perks up at that, barely being able to contain a delighted grin. You're actually putting him and his wants first, and acknowledging that he's right. You're doing as he says, without any of the usual arguing or excuses. He'll finally have his dream complaisant, docile girlfriend to come home to every night.
It only took a month or two to finally get you to cave. You'll be easier to control from now on. Hell, maybe you'll lose some weight with some free time on your hands, stop wearing that shitty makeup...
"Good girl," He says in a patronizing tone, like he's addressing a child, "That's what wanna hear."
God, you really hope this isn't a bad idea. Jimmy looks pleased for once, so...
This decision can't possibly ruin your future too badly, right?
â
#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing x reader#dead dove do not eat#mouthwashing jimmy x reader#dead dove#tw abuse#abuse tw
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realized that my nose piercing might be migrating and everything online says once a piercing starts rejecting its very rare that it can be stopped i want to cry
#bruh you're telling me that something i paid $90 for can just. decide to not stay??#ive had a lobe piercing migrate before but it wasnt a big deal because i got it done with a piercing gun anyways so it wasnt expensive#and i just got it redone and its been fine since#i waited longer than i needed to before changing out my nose ring#i think most sources recommend 3 or 4 months?#i cant remember anymore but i waited 8 months#ive had a new ring in my nose for two weeks#and it only hurt for the first couple days so i thought i was fine#but since ive had a piercing migrate before ive been on the lookout#since i got the piercing#and idk i cant tell if im just being paranoid or if it is actually starting to migrate#but im going to make an appointment for a free assessment at the local piercer (unfortunately not the place i got it pierced) once i get my#work schedule for next week#if they tell me to just take it out im going to cry#do piercing places do discounted piercings if you already have the jewelry?#anyway i also feel stupid#i didnt wanna pay like $60 for a fancy nose hoop from a piercing place so i got one off amazon#i thought i did my research but maybe the metal was bad anyways#ive never had any issued with this piercing before#ughghhhghhg#cloudy rambles
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hellooo, I hope you're feeling well! I was wondering however if ouroboros was still being worked on or if it's on hiatus. Hope I wasn't rude in asking
I don't feel it's rude, after all, I have been keeping the development close to my chest. It is still being worked on, edited and transferred into renpy with graphics and soundbytes galore! However, right now, since about three weeks back, I left my partner of 8 years in the middle of the night with just a change of clothes, my dog, and a laptop. I'm struggling hard but putting on a brave face-- right now I'm coming up with a concept of something else to work on until I get a proper apartment and can get my stationary PC back so I can get back to work on ouro. I'll make a proper post about it tomorrow, so keep an eye on this space!
#ouroboros-if#interactive fiction#in all honesty i forgor the password to the louroth tumblr so ill just stick to my personal for now đ#everything is up in the air. i cry all the time. and when im not crying im writing. LMAO#it'll all work out though it will just take some time to get back on my feet#the ouro book 1 is like 65% done and a demo is even closer. i just haven't found a reasonable stopping point+ some of the most intense edits#and rewrites are in the first chapters and I've been wanting to finish the latter parts first so i don't have to run myself in circles tryin#to line everything up properly. yk?#im so grateful for my patreons for being willing to support me because money is such an issue rn. if I can't make it monetarily on writing i#will have to put it all on complete hiatus and go back to work full time#which I dread bc doggy daycare is so damn expensive. alas! only time will tell what happens next. tomorrow is a big day when i find out#what exactly i will have to do.#thanks for the ask nony<3 i have several other asks i will try to get to during the week!!#please block the 'ouroboros-if' tag if you don't wish to see them dear mutuals<3
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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lol didnât think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge thatâs gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. iâm get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. iâm not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and iâm afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think thatâs not a big deal and honestly i didnât think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash iâm out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isnât the first time sheâs done this she has a warrant for her arrest sheâs known to steal cars iâm the problem and thereâs#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the heroâs for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i canât be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit iâm stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later itâs#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what youâre left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesnât have a membership so they donât know how she#got in and they canât help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#thatâs convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in thatâs#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i canât speak on what did or didnât happen thatâs some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadnât stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing thereâs no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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the way literally every fucking person has been REPULSIVE about euthanasia lately.
#they just crawl out of the woodwork#'oh spiralingbackto is grieving? time to get all the way on my bullshit and make her life literally horrible'#i cant count on one hand the maount of people who have sneered and said gross when i said im putting my mouse down.#i cant count how many people told me to just give them rat poison; to drown them; or to give them antifreeze.#'im not trying to be rude but why not just give them rat poison' ok well youre being extremely fucking rude. shut your goddamn mouth.#'im not trying to be rude but have you considered giving your infant with pneumonia bleach? yknow.. just end it?' that's what you sound lik#i cant count how many people have laughed.#even at the fucking vets office i could hear through the door a bunch of vet techs go up and say 'oh ew! even looking at it is grossing me#out! oh my god is that a mouse! gross!'#and my personal favorite i heard while i was sitting there crying over my mouse dying was 'im so sick of this seriously this is my third#today. im so about to just say screw it and not taking anyone else in today. had two#euths before lunch and now this? im so over it'#while literally laughing.#which was incredible to know that was the people surrounding my mouse as she died.#those are the people she was with in her last minutes.#and then they handed her to me wrapped in a fucking puppy pad.#(im already looking into different exotic vets to go to next time bc im not going back there)#but it isnt even just about my mice because when i put my cat down suddenly#one of my roommates was saying such dsgusting things.#i dont even remmeber what exactly because it was too distressing#most ive gotten is a 'ohhh how sad' this entire time !! :)#or people telling me about how they put their animals down and how im being a burden by causing them to remember it#:)#it would be nice to have even a single person in my real life who gives half a shit about me
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i genuinely cannot stand being around ppl who have to take their anger out on others . i'm so sick of always having to act like the bigger person to my Older brother while he can just tornado around my entire life & belongings & relationships without warrant all over smthing that had absolutely nothing to do with you or anyone, rlly.
#but HE runs and tells on ME?#i was just going to let shit blow over#lock myself away as fucking alwys like when we were little and he would cuss up a fucking storm#screaming crying and throwing the shit i bought over being unable to beat a game he plays every fucking day#set on fucking Easy mode#and hes hitting a bat into the door or wrecking my shit in my room or fucking. yelling abt me to the fuckin dog#and in the 'dog's voice' making the animal agree with him bcs im? acting crazy#over a fcking video game that u cant even tell him to turn off or at least stop fucking screaming and wailing or else it'll just set it off#sooner#when dad did it he was fcking drunk and i was illegitimate#it's like i cant even fcking escape fcking hell.#hiding all my bad grades in math bcs i couldnt read a stupid fking number right bcs i didnt want ppl screaming at me#for causing even more trouble than they already have to deal with and just living as dumb bcs it costs less#ill get over it ill try harder#i always have to be the bigger fucking man and im so fucking tired of it#but how are u supposed to cut off someone youve been assigned caretaker as b4 u were even born#im so fucking exhausted#anyways so yea. im pretty sensitive to tone so if i seem like a baby to smthing i apologize#i rlly just. cant stand sme things sometimes#i love getting told i never felt like a friend to my other siblings not only bcs of our massive age gap but also theyre legitimate and#i dont drink or smoke so apparently we cant hang without them always checking the time on their phones#while im taking them out to smthing they like like it's so fun i fcking love it here#anyways yea. love zero comprehension or compassion. love it. loving my life
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Before I had Sunny, I had a rabbit... His official name was Eddy, but he went through many names in my friend group
The names were: Kirishima, Springtrap and lastly Springkiri
Some pictures of him and a funny pic of Sunny
(A sad thing from here on)
So Eddy sadly passed away on 16th May 2022 while I held him. I bawled my eyes out when I realized he passed and literally couldn't go to school the next day because I was grieving so much. He was my childhood pet. He was 12 years old! Also he decided to pass before my birthday (21st May). I miss him very much
Now let me tell you, in February, the year (2022), he decided to jump from my arm because he was not happy about him getting his nails trimmed and fell on his side! He broke his fucking leg and was too old for operation because he wouldn't handle the amnesia. His leg was fully healed in April. You know he ran around, had fun with his toy, and played as if he was young again... Just to pass in May.
Now, to cheer you up, Sunny has the SAME sleeping spots as Eddy did. She also has similar running habits and such things as Eddy did. Now I think here Eddy's ghost was like 'Let me teach you cat' when she arrived at home and I like that!
Sorry for the kind of sad ask :(
AWWW eddy has such a lovely pelt pattern đ„ș and no worries about this being a Sad Ask: it'd be even more sad if you werent willing to share memories of him- he was still a little darling in your life, so i'm happy to hear bout both the good and bad bout him! so sorry to hear he passed right before your birthday tho.. đ at the very least, im sure he passed knowing how loved he was- and still is :]
ANND that's so cute sunny sleeps in his old spot now đ„ș
#snap chats#we can celebrate eddy even if he's gone that's what love is about !!!#if it's anything i lost my childhood dog- zakk- about two years ago in february#he was only really close with my mom so he waited for her to come home before going up to her room#didnt take long for us to hear her scream and find him dying in her arms#whats darkly funny is that he's never really liked me and bit me a lot#we were hanging out on the couch when he signaled he was trying to get down and yk. Hes Old so i went to pick him up#but the jackass BIT ME and now i got a scar on my hand#funny enough i was trying to get close to him and my mom while he was passing and he tried to bite me AGAIN He Did Not Like Me#maybe he was just trying to make sure he was with my mom til the end tho idk ... all i know is that i love telling the story bout my scar#its a small one but so was he so. fittin innit#in any case ! dont worry bout feelin bad or melancholy sharin the memory of your lovely: its important to keep them alive that way#even if theyre sad and the sort#to end this tag ramble on a lighter note. sunny sit PROPER young lady im CRYING why she sit like that ... i love when cats cant sit normal.
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...
#the other day i was talking to my dad and he said im at a crossroads in my life except its an intersection of many different roads#and i have no idea which one to take. but because the semester is starting tomorrow it feela more like im standing at the edge of a cliff#waiting for the ground to crumble out from under me. not sure what im gonna tell my PI when i see him monday bc i feel like ive got one foot#out the door. its just hard when you dont know what to do or which direction to go or what opportunities you'll even get#and if i say goodbye to this program im probably saying goodbye to astr0biology. and if i dont go back to my old boss im probably saying#goodbye to microbial ecology. and if i say goodbye to those things i might be saying goodbye to a job where im passionate abt what i do#in exchange for being less insane and being paid an actual salary lol#its just frustrating and it makes me even more twisted up inside bc im teaching this semester and im like#how do i put passion into this when i#when all i feel is frustration and uncertainty. i dont even want to go into my office. when i left i couldnt sit in there without crying#but we'll see. too late to back out now. unless i have a breakdown halfway through#unrelated
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I made it to America, apparently needing to know geography would've been helpful
#summer camp tag#travel tag#ace is a mess#i cant even tell how long ive been awake with timezones now#they kept asking where i was going and i didnt know which bit they wanted#there were like 3 different answers and i didnt know which was the relevant one đđ
#shoulda been able to rule out state but thats just the bit thats most easy for me to remember#my flight was actually quicker than scheduled to be but took forever to take off and thats the bit i hate most so i kept psyching myself out#but honestly the flight itself? nicer than i was expecting waaay more food than i anticipated so im happy#now just waiting for my connecting flight in 2 hours but i made it stateside and through immigration without fcking it#i did almost cry after all the security stuff though i was stressing
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#i literally this close to ruining a friendship with confessing my feelings for my friend đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł#i mean it's kind of a well known secret that i have feelings for her :)))))#tonight i drank some wine and we had a convo about how im waiting for her and if she'd asked me out i would be to shy to say anything at all#and all that shit. the usual back and forth halfhearted flirting we've been doing for years#but it's fuckin killing me right now because a few months ago i realized i actually do have feelings for her :DDDD#and like. she knows it i just never said it outright. but she fuckin knows. everyone fuckin knows who knows us that there's something lmfao#and im literally this close to just telling her it all#and im pretty fuckin sure that would ruin everything because she's been together with her boyfriend around the same time we met :)))#and even if she has feelings for me then what bro? she'd never drop him and I don't think our friendship could go on if i confess :)))#even though it super obvious:)))))#i dont even know what im taking about anymore im just fuckin sad and heartbroken bro#I've only had deeper feelings twice and both were for my best friends who are in relationships#but oh my god this time it feels so much fucking worse#i ghosted her last a week because i just couldn't deal with constantly feeling like shit and being jealous every time she mentions ger bf#AND IT FEELS LIKE ABSOLUTE SHIT TO NOT BE HAPPY FOR HER??? SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND I SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR HER HAPPINESS#BUT I CAN'T BE A 100% HAPPY AND IT MAKES ME FEEL SO FUCKING GUILTY AND BAD#i just need like a car or sth to take me out bro i can't do this đ„Čđ„Čđ„Č#I just want these feelings to go away oh my god how many months will it be#i really feel like I can't keep this to myself anymore. and that would just ruin everything#oh my god just kill me#ĂGNES IF YOU SEE THIS FUCKING POST THEN NO YOU DON'T#not like I don't cry to you about this every 3 days#anyway im sorry. next year i will get to the requests in my inbox aye? :'DD#shut up vivien no one cares
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#fuck me sorry but that post actually unlocked so many memories for me rn and i simply must get them out lmao#anyways i just wish there was a way i could tell my geography teacher how much of an impact she made on my life#it absolutely shook my world view up when we did our lesson on migration and she asked me what the positives to immigration were#me. a brown girl living in britain her whole life where all she really saw and understood was an inherent hatred for immigrants.#and so i prattled off the textbook answer- they bring people who can do labour and earn more money for the country#and shes like 'and?' and i drew a blank. i couldnt think of anything else. what else were they worthy for?#and she explains. she says music. and food. and culture. and god. im tearing up just thinking about it. like in that single moment she just#fucking changed everything for me. like yeah. yeah ppl do bring that. they make this place everything it is. they bring Life to this place.#i feel like my words are so jumbled lmao idk how else to explain it i am simply soooooooooooooooooo emo like seriously#and it wasnt after i didnt have her as a teacher i was told my one of my friends that she always gives the best student in her class a#a yellow ring binder. the rest get green. guess what one i got. LIKE IM GOING TO CRY AND NEVER STOP. and i didnt know!! i never fucking knew#i literally remember her that day when she was like ah seems im all out @ H could you follow me pls and ill get you answer one from storage#and then she gave me a yellow ring binder like. fuck me man. fuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkk#and i think back so much because she had a scottish sounding second name but she was married. and part of me thinks maybe her parents were#polish? just from context clues. but i dont actually know. and part of me is like am i just romanticising her? i didnt actually know who she#was. all i have is these little moments and how she treated me and the fact i liked her class#and people were so rude about her btw. like thought she was a dickhead. but she wasnt. she actually wasnt she just didnt take ppls shit. :((#and now im remembering that time i didnt do my homework and my friend took my jotter from the pile AS SHE WAS MARKING THEM and brought it#to me so i could copy off her#and ngl i always thought it was funny and sneaky but now im realising she probably fucking knew and didnt say anything because she liked us#god im gonna cry#i hope youre ok out there and i hope youre happy. i hope my idea of you is correct.#*insert spongebob laying on ground meme*#le text post
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