#if they just don’t want to know what’s happening day to day then that’s totally understandable
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honey-tongued-devil · 4 hours ago
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Arcane preference reacting to a s/o with a mental health issues (eating)
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My disclaimer, as someone with this issue, I’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted. I’ve actually been thinking about it for a while, but I was a bit cowardly about doing it, so I’m taking the opportunity now. I don’t want to go out of character, so I’m sorry if some characters come across as harsher than others. Unfortunately, I know I should write the name of the illness, but if I post it that way, Tumblr will take it down.
Jayce:
- He’s academically intelligent, but it takes him far too long to notice that something’s wrong. But you can’t blame him, it’s something so far removed from him that he couldn’t have understood it sooner.
- When he does realize, his first reaction is panic.
- Jayce can’t feel like just a blade of grass; he feels emotions deeply, taking on any blame, especially if something happens to the people he loves. His first thought is that he did something to make you feel that way, inadequate.
- But once the panic phase ends, the responsibility phase begins.
- He does the grocery shopping, he cooks, and his workouts become more regular, where he has you climb onto his back while doing push-ups or holds you in his arms during other exercises.
- He doesn’t know why you do it, but the quickest way to show you that your weight isn’t a problem is by showing you how easily he lifts you.
- And maybe, if you feel up to it, he can hold you in his arms with one arm supporting you while he cooks, letting you taste various ingredients.
Viktor:
- Unlike Jayce, it only takes two suspicious behaviors in a row for him to understand what’s happening. It’s something far from his world, sure, but he recognizes it.
- And he confronts you. He doesn’t beat around the bush, doesn’t stammer; he might even sound angry because he doesn’t understand why you’d hurt yourself like this and willingly give up your well-being.
- I won’t lie, I doubt that an open discussion about something this delicate with him wouldn’t lead to at least one hysterical cry.
- But he’s not brutal for the sake of being brutal; his suffering and frustration turn into anger. It takes him a while to calm down, but he won’t accept compromises.
- You’ll have meals together at home, either returning to your rooms together or straight to the house, so no one can see you and you won’t feel bad.
- And he won’t force you, he tries to handle it with as much care as possible, but there’s no day that goes by without him getting up from the table if you haven’t eaten at least two food items per meal.
- He loves you too much to see you hurt yourself in that way, and knowing that he can't do anything about it makes him feel powerless.
Ekko:
- It takes him a week—not to understand, but to process it.
- Having grown up in total poverty, the idea of giving up food “for whim” makes him react in a way that is only human.
- And the whole thing is too distant for him: everyone’s skin is grayish, 90% of the population of the Lanes has missing limbs and monstrous prosthetics, and everyone’s goal is to survive as long as possible. What does it mean that you’re against your own survival??
- As unsupportive as he might be regarding the issue, he becomes incredibly vigilant and concerned.
- He’ll always make sure you’re warm enough, that you’re comfortable, and no matter how frustrated he is, he’ll always try to stay close to you, even just holding you in bed until you fall asleep.
- Every single comment you make about your body, he’ll respond with, “Don’t talk about my partner like that,” 
- no one can speak badly of you, not even you.
Vander:
- The most understanding: he was young once too, and although in his size meant an advantage, he and Silco snuck into various galas when they were younger, and there, even though he never had these problems, he would feel a strange sensation seeing that he was the biggest in the room or that it was hard to find someone to steal clothes from that would fit him.
- He doesn’t lecture you or anything like that, he doesn’t get angry despite how he grew up; he just feels sadness for you that you can’t see how little that complex matters and how beautiful you already are.
- His compromise is vegetables. If you don’t feel like eating every meal every day, it doesn’t matter, but at least four days a week, you have to have three meals.
- And for the rest, he’ll cook, making sure to prepare the best dishes made from vegetables so that you don’t feel guilty and your body doesn’t deteriorate.
- But he doesn’t support your illness, he simply ensures that you get everything you need and never go below the necessary intake without having you feeling guilty about it.
Silco:
- Hoping that the most attentive and watchful man in the lanes wouldn't notice how, suddenly, meals go from moments of lightness to something you try to avoid at all costs is a bit foolish, but he says nothing.
- He waits for as long as necessary, basically to see how long it lasts and how much you're not planning to talk to him.
- When he realizes you won’t, not anytime soon, he waits for you to be alone in his office, where you’ll find a slice of cake on his desk. Sure, it’s a low blow, but it’s also the fastest way to get you to confront the issue without too many escape routes.
- He’s a big fan of the saying “dirty laundry is washed in the family,” so if you act strange about meals in front of others, he won’t allow questions or jokes, but in private, he won’t accept “no” for an answer.
- He has enough problems already without you crying from hunger pains or having psychotic episodes due to sugar deficiency, so as long as you're under his watch, under Zaun's eye, he won't let you live with unhealthy standards.
- During meals, he becomes the strictest. He doesn’t say anything, but one look is enough to make you think twice about contradicting him. In the evening, though, when your mental health is most fragile, he becomes gentler, comforting you as much as you need.
Jinx:
- You find fertile ground, but like any good bearer of the same issue: she feels she can do it, but you cannot.
- Being with her or in her space becomes like a live-action version of Thumbelina: she’ll leave sweets, chocolates, things she knows you like to encourage you to eat so you can’t hurt yourself.
- She usually forgets to eat herself when she’s caught up in her studies and work, but if she has someone to care for, it doesn’t matter how, she’ll make sure to remember. Even if it means setting a few colorful bombs with timers.
- She feeds you. In the most visible, worst way. It’s easy that if you turn your head, you’ll find a cookie shoved in your mouth unceremoniously.
- And every single tight-fitting outfit disappears from her lair. Magically, whatever clothes you pick up from her pile fit loosely, but if you ask her about it, she’ll claim she doesn’t know what are you talking about.
Vi:
- Want to see Vi in a panic, becoming super protective and possessive in a way? Just wait for one episode, and you’ll see everything you haven’t seen.
- She’ll check on you at least three times a day, and in the evening, when you have pain or a crisis, she’ll run back and forth from the room, thinking about everything she can do to help you feel better without making you feel guilty.
- During meals, she’ll hold you in her arms and insist that you eat, but not aggressively—in a way that’s almost frightened: she’s always been used to fighting big, real monsters, but even when it came to her sister, she could never defeat the invisible ones, and the fear of failing or hurting someone she loved again terrifies her in an agonizing way.
- Like Jayce, she’ll also try a more physical way of reassuring you, like body worshipping when you’re alone or working out with you to show you that your weight doesn’t matter.
Caitlyn:
- She doesn’t know how to react; she realizes it quite quickly but fears that by acknowledging it, she might only make you feel worse.
- One day, she gathers the courage to ask if everything is okay and tells you that she’s noticed those behaviors. When you open up to her, telling her about the issues, she doesn’t respond right away and simply hugs you.
- She becomes more caring, making sure that you don’t have to attend banquets or dinners where you wouldn’t feel comfortable, bringing you food in your room to eat together, and sometimes even leaving the room so as not to put pressure on you.
- When you mention a craving, she immediately springs into action to get it for you, even if you complain that you weren’t serious. Once she understands how your condition works, she orders everything in three portions, so she can eat with you and then be the first to say that she wants more, asking if you want to share the third portion.
- If you have fat accumulated in any area, she’ll knead it with her hands while kissing you, to let you know that she loves every inch of you.
Mel:
- She notices you're having a crisis before you even realize it yourself.
- She’s a ruler, but what she learned from a young age is that a leader must appear reliable and look good, so even if unconsciously, she too sometimes experiences small crises when she feels like she isn’t looking perfect.
- No conversations, no lectures, just an increase in cuddles, moments of intimacy, and later, she brings home sweets.
- “They were a gift to me today at the council,” she lies, but sometimes she says she got them for both of you. She doesn’t want to make you feel like you’re in the wrong. She knows that when you’re ready and if you want to, you’ll bring up the issue with her, but for now, the best thing she can do is help you get through the episode with euphoria, love, and treats that encourage you to listen to your hunger rather than the illness.
Sevika:
- Like everyone in Zaun, the idea that someone would voluntarily give up food is simply incomprehensible to her.
- But she won’t comment on your problems. She doesn’t intend to invalidate them, but she also won’t encourage it.
- “Are you sure? That’s a bit too little,” will be her comment when you eat something ridiculously small, before making you a proper portion of food herself. If you try to argue, she’ll respond with a smug smile, saying that if you eat that little, you’ll end up breaking when you’re in bed together.
- As much as possible, she’ll try to get the best, freshest, and most natural food, to reassure you that you don’t need to worry, but she’ll never insist that you eat if you say you don’t feel up to it. She’ll gesture for you to come sit on her lap and keep you there, occasionally offering you things she knows you like, telling you that she’s really craving them, and if you want them too, she’ll go get them.
- If a crisis is particularly bad, she’ll try to finish her work as quickly as possible to be able to stay with you for the rest of the day and not leave you alone.
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sleepyparalysisdmon · 2 days ago
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SVT with a bipolar partner
Requested? No! (But they are still open!)
Genre: comfort, some unavoidable angst, suggestive (MDNI)
Sensitive Topics Ahead!
TW/CW: discussions of struggling with and managing bipolar symptoms, up to and including things like self-harm (though this is not explicitly discussed). One suggestive section. 
A/N: This one is also entirely self-indulgent because I’m feeling some type of way right now.
If this topic might be triggering for you, please proceed with caution or skip. If you’re struggling (not just with bipolar, but with anything), I encourage you to reach out for help. Could be a friend, a family member, a coworker or classmate, or a professional. Things like this should not be shameful!! Be kind to yourself, love you. 
Seungcheol
You desperately want to buy an item and Seungcheol knows it. So he casually hands you his credit card (he’ll never be able to stop the sugar daddy allegations, I fear). He’s kind of surprised by how vehemently you deny it. ‘No way, I don’t want to waste your money,’ you’ll say and he’ll roll his eyes. “Baby, I have more than enough, I’ll buy you whatever you want.” The relationship is still somewhat new, so he’s confused when you deny it again, saying you absolutely can’t take his card because you’ll be reckless with it. Does not understand what the problem is with that, honestly, but when you eventually tell him about your diagnosis and particularly how mania works, he’ll pause, if only because of how upset you seem by the topic. It’s fine. If you spending the money is the problem, he’ll spend it for you and he won’t let you feel guilty about it for a single second. 
Jeonghan
Now, I believe Hannie can be a bit of a fashionista. He likes your style. In fact, it was something that attracted him to you in the beginning because it was unique and unapologetic. So when you’re getting ready for a date, he’s confused when you don’t put on the things that you usually do, opting for a baggy sweater and leggings. “Feeling okay?” He’ll ask. “You’re cute as always, but this isn’t your normal look.” You’ll openly tell him that you feel less confident during a depressive episode because the two of you simply do not have secrets, so this is what you want to go with today. You get out of the way, letting him get ready, and you’re kind of surprised when he comes out in equally baggy clothes. He’ll absolutely match your energy, no matter what that means. 
Joshua
He raises an eyebrow when he comes home to find you scrubbing the walls down. “A little spring cleaning?” He’ll ask, but it becomes apparent that it’s not anything ‘little’. The house is absolutely sparkling like you just moved in. This isn’t a problem by any means, but it’s kind of suspicious because you low key hate cleaning and he happily carries the burden of these types of things on a normal day. Still, he knows what’s happening and there’s nothing he can do to stop the manic episode. He’ll just have to let you ride it out. But it won’t stop him from changing clothes and asking what’s next on your list so he can help. 
Jun
Knows he can’t do a whole lot about the typical mood swings that you have periodically, but when you tell him that some of these mood swings are not totally random and can actually be triggered, he becomes the most observant person you’ve ever met. Keeps a little list in his notes app of things that you’ve mentioned before and the things that he’s simply observed that switch your mood. He tries to help you manage your stress at work to prevent a depressive episode and encourages you to limit your caffeine intake to prevent mania. He intentionally stops buying alcohol and keeping it in the house because it’s not a good combination with your medications. He buys you a light for light therapy during the winter when the seasonal depression kicks in. He helps you find a nighttime routine that works for you so sleep disturbances aren’t so prominent. Really is the sweetest and most thoughtful.
Hoshi
Man, thinking about this one makes me emotional. Say the relationship is new, but it’s been so, so good. You match his energy so well and he really feels like you get him, you know? So he’s kind of surprised when his calls and texts go unanswered for a while. After a few days, he finally goes to your apartment, flowers, coffee, and a bag of pastries in hand just in case he did something wrong. Your roommate answers the door and points to your bedroom with an ominous warning. You look like you haven’t moved from the bed in a few days. Your clothes and sheets are wrinkled, laundry is overflowing from the hamper, and dishes are piled up on your bedside table. You come right out and tell him about your diagnosis and that you’ve been in a depressive episode, and that you’d understand if he wants to break up. He simply crawls into bed with you because it’s his turn to get you. 
Wonwoo
Listen, I genuinely believe that you can tell him anything. Quite literally anything, including when you’re having some bad thoughts. He gives you an intentionally blank look when you ask him to remove the razors from the bathroom, but immediately does it. He doesn’t ask questions when he comes back, just hugging you tight and thanking you for telling him. Trust that he’ll watch you like a hawk over the next few days, doing soft, yet somehow non-invasive check-ins. A week later when that particular feeling passes and you ask for the razors again to shave, he does ask a few questions, just to make sure you’re in a good headspace. It makes you feel secure that you have someone right there that will help you if you have to cry for help.
Woozi
He’s pretty independent and so are you, but after you tell him about your diagnosis and the medications you’re on, he becomes a bit clingy. Let me explain. Before, you could go hours, maybe even days without really hearing from him when he got busy. No big deal, you knew that was just part of it. Now, no matter what he’s doing at work or whatever timezone he might be in, he’s calling you before you go to bed to make sure you’ve taken your medication. He’ll, of course, be there to talk if you want, but you usually don’t and that’s thanks to how much the medication is doing for you. He will never, ever let you miss a day. 
DK
You know you’re in a manic episode, which is why you jumped at the chance to go out with Seokmin and a few of his members for dinner. You’re feeling good, talking rapidly and animatedly about something and Seungkwan laughs, saying something along the lines of, “Okay, motor mouth.” It kind of makes you deflate. Not that he meant anything by it, not that he knew about your diagnosis or that you were in a manic episode. Still, Seokmin is next to you, encouraging you to continue talking because he was following, no problem. He’ll always be a motor mouth with you. Even if your mood doesn’t come back as high as it was before, it’s still comforting that he’ll listen to you ramble about whatever comes to mind, even if it’s sometimes a stream of consciousness more than anything specific. 
Mingyu
It’s not like sex is uncommon in your relationship, but after you initiate multiple rounds in one night, Mingyu will sort of laugh and ask what’s gotten into you. When you stop and kind of tear up, he realizes he might have said something wrong and he’s holding onto you immediately. You tell him you’re kind of upset because you didn’t realize that you were manic until he said that. Increased libido is a common symptom for you and now you’re feeling bad for maybe pressuring him into it. He’ll squish your face and insist that you absolutely did not and he has no complaints. You can always come to him for this, or for anything for that matter. 
Minghao
Now, I think he might be a bit of a believer in home remedies for a lot of things, but not for this. Does not let you miss a counseling or psychiatrist appointment. Does not let you forget your medication. Knows by heart everything you’re taking, including the dosage. He even gets a little organizer and sorts it out for you every week. Insists that you stick to a routine and practice self-care when you’re in a manic episode and makes sure you eat, sleep, and find things to enjoy during a depressive episode. Really, genuinely might understand your disorder and what you need for it better than you do. 
Seungkwan
He knows you’ve been down and that’s just the nature of the disorder sometimes. He does little things to help you manage it - chores are taken care of, dinner is already started, medication is already picked up from the pharmacy, etc. But when you admit late at night that you don’t know why he’s with you and you feel worthless, he doesn’t have a little reaction. It makes you cry despite how numb you were feeling earlier when he squishes your face with a bit more aggression than he probably intended and in great detail tells you how much he loves you and what he loves about you and why no one else will ever compare. It’s what you needed to hear, and he makes a mental note to be more vocal about these things, particularly when you’re down. 
Vernon
You two are relaxing at home when you ask him if he can hear that sound. He’ll say no, feeling kind of clueless. You’ll frown and ask, “Are you sure? It’s so loud.” Your insistence makes him pause. “Tell me about it,” he’ll say. You’ll describe it in great detail, convincing him that you do in fact believe you’re hearing something. Will not let you feel bad about the fact that he doesn’t hear it and that it must be an auditory hallucination. He’s offering you his noise cancelling headphones to blast some music and drown out the sound until it goes away. 
Chan
You’re usually pretty easy going and agreeable. But Chan knows something is up because you’ve been picking fights left and right all day. First it was that he left a mug on the side of the sink instead of in the sink or inside the dishwasher. Okay, easy to fix next time, he thinks. Then it’s that he’s going out for lunch with a couple of his members, even though he told you yesterday, which leaves him confused. Then it’s that he didn’t appear to be listening to you when you talked at dinner. He was absolutely listening, but the way you huff angrily at him makes him approach, holding your face and asking what’s going on with you today. He won’t let you escalate this into a fight, and eventually you deflate, tearing up. You admit you’ve just been feeling restless, both physically and emotionally, and that you don’t think this new medication is doing much. He cuddles with you the rest of the night, shushing you when you say you don’t deserve it after picking fights all day, and encourages you to make an appointment to talk about your medication.
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nukacoola · 1 day ago
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I know the Fallout TV show wanted to have a cool bombs dropping moment/scene but in all likelihood the West Coast would’ve had advanced warning before the bombs dropped or they would’ve dropped around 6 am bc on the East Coast they dropped at 9:40 something.
The people at the birthday party in the show are watching the news on tv and listening to it on the radio so it’s not like everyone at the birthday party was just tuned out and they didn’t realize they were getting advanced warning, there was no warning at all even though we know the bombs dropped on the East Coast first. Plus, there’s sirens all over the city that would have gone off even if the ppl weren’t listening to the news. I feel like that’s one inconsistency that the show had with the games that is not talked about as much.
We know that the bombs hit the East Coast first around 9:40 which would have been 5:40 West Coast time so why would they drop during this party which seems to be taking place in the middle of the day or at least late morning and why would the news station and the radio which were both talking about national news not have been warning people about the bombs actively dropping on the other side of the country? It’s a total lore dismissal of the games.
Also Vault Tec received an early warning before the citizens of America knew about the bombs dropping. It’s mentioned in the Vault 111 terminal they got less of a warning than they thought they would but wouldn’t Barbara Howard, one of the higher-ups at Vault Tec, get that warning and be blowing up the phone of the person whose kid’s birthday party it was? There’s a possibility that she didn’t have time but I don’t know, she tried so fucking hard for years to get her family together in a “management” vault. It doesn’t seem like she’d give up right at the last moment. We still don’t know what happened to her or Janey so I guess we’ll see in season 2. 
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adragonthatwrites · 2 days ago
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Dr. Shen's Log
Date; 26, 5, 2024
I’m here to write down in proper detail what exactly happened because I know for a fact the incident report will not cover the true beauty of that moment.
So first things first we’ve got Yue Qingyuan coming out of the fishtank and back up beside the boat outside, right? And he’s frankly being a real angel about this whole thing; we’ve hoisted him up with a big crane that almost died under his weight, poked and prodded pretty much every part of him, stuck our hands in his mouth and shined lights in his eyes, the whole thing. Frankly he’s the most patient mer I’ve ever encountered! We didn’t send any divers in with him; Dr. Shen was still too squirrelly about direct contact while in the water, which I will admit, I can respect. He is an apex predator at the end of the day best to keep our wits about us!
So anyway we’re up on the deck as Yue Qingyuan circles back around the side of the boat. Now, I bring out some tuna to give him because frankly I think he deserves something nice for his patience aside from a ‘thanks for this it’s totally gonna help your species!’
So I’ve got some nice big tuna and I try to get Dr. Shen to help me throw it over the side; he’s the other head researcher here and he should really try to form some sort of nice relationship with Yue Qingyuan since he’ll be seeing so much of him you know? He calls me an idiot and turns around to stomp down the deck, and slips on some fish oil.
He screams like a girl as he topples over the side of the boat and straight into the water. A dozen people; including myself; lean over the side in time to watch him bob back up to the surface gasping and flailing, and while that’s happening Yue Qingyuan pauses where he’d been circling the boat and comes right up to have a look at what’s going on.
So Dr. Shen looks up to find himself nose to nose with one of the topmost oceanic predators, and credit where credit is due, he held his cool! Stayed relatively calm and didn’t start flailing or yelling or trying to get away.
The first thing Yue Qingyuan does is a little circle around; what I like to call the Friendly Brush. He swims around Shen Jiu and lets his side brush against him as he goes; it’s kind of a way to say hello while also getting a feel for the size and build of one another. We lose sight of Dr. Shen briefly as he’s pulled under by the current from Yue Qingyuan’s movements.
A few seconds later he bobs back up the surface, and by now he’s starting shivering and floundering a little; to be fair he did just fall in the ocean. So, Yue Qingyuan apparently decides the best course of action is to pick him up, roll over, and put him on his midsection.
So now we’ve got Dr. Shen straddling the waist of this huge mer while like half the research crew is freaking out up on the deck trying to figure out what to do now. Yue Qingyuan meanwhile is very calm about this whole situation; he’s got one hand on Dr. Shen’s thigh while he just floats along very relaxedly. Honestly it kind of reminds of sleeping holds observed in smaller mer species…
Anyway, eventually I manage to get everyone calm enough to actually lower down a latter to send some folks down the side of the boat, and after a lot of waving and gesturing Yue Qingyuan swims over to it and we manage to get Dr. Shen off him and up the latter, to somewhere he can dry and warm up.
The best part, of course, is that this entire thing was all caught on camera; and yes, I will be making Dr. Shen’s scream my new ringtone he can kill me if he wants I don’t care I will die a happy man!
Dr. Shang Qinghua.
Start - Prev - Next
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demigod-shenanigans · 13 hours ago
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I’ll answer the Harley stuff first because I may or may not have a snippet for the Piper one ;)
So, I feel like in Fate verse (I’m just gonna call it that, series title for that series of oneshots is “fate and other technicalities”), Harley’s siblings (especially Nyssa) tried to make sure he didn’t see Leo when things were really bad early on. They let him know Leo was hurt, because the whole Leo blowing himself up and Jason carrying into the infirmary missing a leg and covered in ash was kind of a big deal that would have been hard to miss, and they let him know that Leo is going to be okay, but they don’t want Harley going to the infirmary while Leo is still out cold.
Harley insists he wants to see him and probably sneaks in. Curses at poor sleep-deprived Jason that he should have protected Leo better but Jason already feels like it’s his fault and him just agreeing that it’s his fault actually doesn’t help Harley feel better so he just kind of pats Jason’s arm awkwardly and apologizes. They just kind of sit there together for a bit and Harley squeezes Leo’s hand and tells him to wake up and that he’s stupid and then darts out again (it’s all a lottt for such a little kid)
I also like to think that the ring/fold-out crutches were Harley’s idea. Hc that maybe he had an injured leg at some point during the whole Hephaestus cabin curse business and remembers how annoying it was figuring out where to put the crutches when he wasn’t using them, so he didn’t want Leo to have to deal with that, and all of his siblings come together to help to make the crutches.
He’s the one presenting them to Leo totally claiming he made them all by himself and Nyssa lightly raises an eyebrow at him and he sighs and goes “I guess the others helped, too” and Leo just laughs and ruffles his hair
A lot of what you’re asking regarding Piper will be saved for tchig, and I can’t go into that too much for spoiler reasons, but I do have a Piper WIP that’s a sort of companion fic to tchig and takes place at the same time as Leo’s little… trip, so I’ll share a preview from that! (Obviously this takes place bit later than we are in the current tchig timeline, so there’s some slight spoilers in this snippet)
“The demigod you’re trying to reach is currently outside of my service area. Please try again later,” a tinny voice sounded through the rainbow.
“What do you mean, he’s outside your service area?” Piper asked, struggling to keep her voice calm.
She was trying not to cry.
Not being able to reach Leo wouldn’t have freaked her out on most days—he’d told her he needed some space to process things, and as much as she wished that wasn’t the case, she understood—but today of all days, it was just too much. “Thank you for choosing the Iris Messaging service,” the voice from the rainbow continued, ignoring her question. It was fucking recording. “If you would like to end the call, please press red. If there is anyone else you’d like to contact-”
Piper did cry, then. Forget not crying in front of the stupid rainbow goddess. She couldn’t help the sobs building in her chest. Couldn’t help the way her thoughts spiraled. What if something had happened to Leo? What if, after everything they’d been through, she’d lost him, too? If she’d gotten him back just to immediately have him ripped away from her again?
A little over three months ago, Piper had cradled Jason’s lifeless body in her arms after a mission gone awry.
She’d gotten better at dealing with the grief and the memories since Hazel and Frank had gotten her in contact with a therapist—a child of Bacchus that Piper didn’t have to hold anything back from. Talking to her helped. But a few months weren’t enough to heal the kind of grief that came with losing a section of your heart.
Piper hadn’t loved Jason the way she’d initially thought she did, but she had loved him. He’d been her best friend. When they’d lost Leo, having Jason to hold her through it had been the only thing keeping Piper sane. Jason, who was a terminal optimist and believed against all odds that Leo was okay—that he had to be okay, because he was Leo, and there was nothing he couldn’t do if he set his mind to it.
And Jason had been right. Leo was okay. But he hadn’t lived to be reunited with him.
Leo had taken it the hardest out of anyone. They were all grieving in their own ways, but Leo had shut down completely. Piper hadn’t seen him cry much before it had happened. Leo joked his way through most situations with worryingly practiced ease. To an extent, he’d still done that with Jason’s death. But he’d also sobbed into Piper’s shoulder until his voice failed him. He’d cried a lot during the weeks he’d stayed with her, and more in most Iris Messages after.
Piper couldn’t imagine what it was like to only realize you were in love with someone after they’d been ripped away from you for good.
But she was grieving, too. She would have held Leo through it all, if only he had let her.
So! If anyone would like to be distracted/cheered up a little please feel free to send me some short valgrace/lost trio prompt and I’ll try to write a drabble or do some headcanons or something. Sfw stuff only please but otherwise I’m good with pretty much anything request-wise
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seilon · 3 months ago
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
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rosicheeks · 7 months ago
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😓🤬
#I fucking hate doctors and the medical field so much#I was FINALLY starting to get on the right path#called a php place and think I know where I’m going#have a therapist I’ve been talking to here and there#I’ve been trying to get into a psych evaluation right?#called 5+ places the other day and they all had 5-8 month long waitlists#I need to get most of this shit done before June#so that ain’t gonna work#called the psych place my doctor referred me to#(would like to add that I did call this same place right after my doctor visit a few months ago and they never called me back)#so I had no hope they were even going to pick up#I was shocked when I heard someone picked up and even more shocked when they said they had an opening for fucking Wednesday#literally I felt like everything was finally aligning#I scheduled the appt for a zoom meeting at 10am#then I get a bunch of random emails saying my appointment was changed#now I have two different appointments- Wednesday and Thursday both at 9am and with a totally different doctor#so I was like???? ok guessing something happened but I didn’t think much of it - called to figure out what day it actually is#when I called to confirm they told me that I can’t be tested until I get an internal referral#I told them I did get a referral???#they looked at it and it was just a referral for depression not adhd or anything else#but then when they looked more into it they found in the notes she wanted me to get adhd testing#SO she just forgot to add it to my referral#I get people make mistakes#but this is like the 4th time something like this has happened lately#I’m just trying to be healthy#and it is fucking RIDICULOUS how incredibly hard it is to find the proper help#also the girl yesterday when I made the appointment said yes to all my questions but sounds like she doesn’t know what she’s talking about#was like ‘does this test for adhd and autism?’ ‘yeah for sure’ and then I find out they don’t even test for autism#so now I have to find a totally different person to either do both or just test for autism#either way I feel incredibly disheartened and overwhelmed and sad
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fingertipsmp3 · 11 months ago
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I swear to god, if Taylor Swift ends up being the reason I take up running and stick to it, it’s going to be the most embarrassing but also on-brand thing that’s ever happened to me
#someone on tiktok put together a couch to eras tour running challenge which has phases like couch to 5k; 5k to 10k; 10k to 10 miles#then 10 miles to essentially ‘you can now run for so long you could basically do the eras tour if taylor was MIA’#so i read the instructions and i was like well. i have a treadmill so i basically have no excuse not to do this#week 1 is 1989 so i walked to ‘blank space’ at about 3mph to warm up and then did intermittent walking; jogging & running to style; ootw;#wildest dreams and you are in love. you walk verses; run choruses & sprint bridges#i have a persistent knee injury so i decided to interpret run as jog & did it at about 5mph and sprint as run & went up to about 7mph#at the highest because i didn’t want to throw my knee out#like it’s functional but i still have pains and i don’t really want to explain to my physio that i broke myself by trying to do a tiktok#challenge. like i can’t imagine that going over well#anyway. it was fun! it took 20 minutes in total#i do think i will have to adjust my schedule at some point because right now my day 6 ‘long run’ coincides with thursdays which is when#i have pilates which i would rather be a cross-training day for obvious reasons#my cross-training day would otherwise be a tuesday and what the hell am i going to do on a tuesday#honestly even a saturday would be acceptable for cross-training because sometimes i go swimming with my friend on saturdays#and yeah we usually take her kiddo and we just bounce around in a circle but i can always break off from them and do a few lengths#or just tread water and let the kid smack me with a pool noodle. idk#i just honestly felt like if i didn’t start this today i’d never end up doing it. so. i started it#i’m now going to tell everyone i know so that they’ll bully me by asking if i ran that day#ooooooh you know what’d probably work as motivation?!?! i could ban myself from listening to taylor when i’m not running#it will also keep me from getting sick of her. which… i don’t think will happen anyway because it would’ve happened already let’s be real#i have been a fan of hers since i was 12 years old. i lived through the drought. like…#if i get sick of anything it’ll be the first few songs on the setlist playlist but! we’ll worry about that when we get there#personal
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soulsxng · 1 year ago
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Sometimes, a person allows me to geek out about dog training/behavior/nutrition stuff a little bit (because they asked me for advice/help), and my brain just latches onto it for the rest of the day. And then I’m just going on long winded dog related info dumps completely out of nowhere to literally anybody in the room.
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non-un-topo · 1 year ago
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Why does instagram keep giving me videos about grandparents like does it want me to fall on the floor sobbing today
#they're all gone! none left now#idk what happened this week but i've been trying SO hard not to think about my nana at all#it’s just a constant don't think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it#i did have a really violent nightmare about her the other night. that fucked me up...#maybe it's because i talked to my mom and she mentioned her for a minute. neither of us know how to talk about it.#i literally can't even think about it i'll start crying.#should visit my partner's nonna and nonno... but i will cry. still we need to see nonno because he's very unwell.#i can't fucking believe i found out my nana died and then immediately went to class.#mentioned it to my professor and the whole class gasped and asked if i was okay or if i needed to leave.#but if i didn't go to class then i would have just been home alone...#crying in front of my favourite prof a few days later was... yikes. but it was okay. she felt like a grandma to all of us#she was sincerely sorry. esp because that class was called 'women and aging'#she spend the entire year telling us to ask the older women in our families their stories#and now i have none left. didn’t get to ask.#i don't know why i didn't call when i wanted to#i can't think about it#glad my mom told me that she feels totally disconnected to family too. bc lately ive felt very alone.#like my nana getting sick and dying brought them together but only for a short while.#feels like we have no extended family and it's fucking me up a lot. im just glad im not the only one
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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the renovation starts tmrrw (LOL) and i woke up from a dream abt it crying. awesome
#today is our last day having a deck and i genuinely feel sick to my stomach over it. ik it’s just a piece of wood and it’s falling apart but#omg like… o ur house is about to not be our house anymore. like the deck is where me and my siblings played w our best friends it’s where i#paced back and forth to get fresh air so many times ater losing my shit during lockdown and it’s literally about to be gone…. forever? ok!!!#and then the kitchen is going to go and im going to lose it genuinely. like this house is shitty and rotting and falling apart and its great#that we are getting a renovation finally but jesus christ i have lived here all my life and yeah i hate the kitchen but it’s home and you’re#just gonna tear it down and make jt 3x bigger like it’s nothing??? ok 😂😂😂😂😂😂#purrs#literally im getting war flashbacks to losing the van which was never gonna drive again but it was my SPACE for all of lockdown and#it got fucking junked after being my sanctuary (as unpleasant as it was) for like 2 years not to mention OUR CAR that we did everything in a#and now we have my grandparents car and there isn’t a backseat so i don’t get room to breathe when they drive. and also my grandparents#house has officially been demolished to make way for a fucking mansion and the near total renovation of my high school is almost done which#means the classroom where i became a human being is gone and the office is going to get destroyed too when that renovation happens and we’ll#have to go make a home somewhere else. i know this kind of thing happens but it makes me want to start screaming. like yeah these#renovations will make life better for everyone (except the fucking mansion it’s bc my grandparents died and the developers are selfish and#cruel lol!!!!!) but the way so many of the spaces that have been important to me keep ending up getting destroyed after im done w them. it’s#comforting in a way bc it’s like oh no one else gets to have it be important but also no that ISNT comforting i want those spaces to keep#being sacred i want them to mean something to other people and i want to be able to go back and soak in the memories again. and everyone is#mad at me for freaking out the renovation but it’s like ok you come into our living space you destroy core parts of my childhood and also#create a situation where we literally can’t like eat or cook anything in the house for months like idk what we’re gonna do bc we don’t go#anywhere bc of covid except work for me and school for my brother so. idk. this whole thing SUCKS. i can’t believe it’s starting tomorrow#and i can’t believe the deck is about to be gone. pain and suffering and pain and suffering and pain and suffering.
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p0ison-moon · 2 years ago
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(this is petty and unreasonable of me but also it’s real feelings so whatever) gosh I just love the cycle of antisemitic thing happens ➡️ all my goy friends put one (1) thing on their Instagram story about and don’t mention it ever again or ask me if I’m okay ➡️ the post they shared is from some Zionist org that thinks Palestinians don’t have the right to organize and advocate for themselves and call out Israel etc etc or whatever ➡️ I get angry but don’t say anything because I’m always the angry anti-Zionist and also the angry Jew and I don’t want them to feel like they’re never going to be good enough for me ➡️ repeat
#mercy.txt#it’s like I don’t know how to approach anyone about this#I’m too nice and they don’t listen or take it seriously#or I’m too mean (translation: I’m firm and honest) and it feels like they resent me for scolding them#meanwhile I see all these mediocre takes about Zionism every day and it annoys me#as Jews we do not get to absolve ourselves from our involvement with Zionism just because it’s uncomfortable#like. it’s not up to you to finish the job but neither are you free to withdraw from it. you get what I mean?#this isn’t fully our mess but that doesn’t mean we get to ignore it & never talk about it#I know so many Jews who say they agree with me but won’t actually stand up and say that Loudly.#I know that conflating Judaism with Zionism is a massive problem but it’s like this:#Judaism ≠ Zionism but as Jews we’re still obligated to call out injustice when we see it#especially when it’s happening in a place that’s meaningful to us & being done by other Jews#like לא תעמוד על דם רעיך#yes it’s inappropriate for people to bring up Israel the second we try to have a conversation about antisemitism#but the solution isn’t to say that we should never have to acknowledge Israel#(all while passively and quietly supporting Israel by not saying anything)#my main takeaway is that you can stand up against antisemitism and Zionism & it’s irresponsible not to#like it doesn’t even have to be an online thing I just want to see other Jews agreeing with me openly#I’ve had a grand total of one (1) Jew stand up with me in a meaningful way#and that was just a conversation outside of synagogue on Rosh Hashanah! it wasn’t hard!#anyways I’ll shut up now
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cryingprudence · 2 years ago
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ok soo
i was supposed to help him hang his signs up but he ultimately decided he wouldn’t do the workshop? he constantly looks like he has something to do and somewhere to go so i don’t blame the guy
we did end up talking for abt half an hour so i can’t rlly complain
and AAAAAAAAAAAAA im trying to be normal abt the whole thing but i truly do feel like he’s mildly pleased to talk to me when we do. i mean, he had the chance to cancel on me the day before but ultimately didn’t so that’s something
he also said he was gonna give me some candy he had laying there but ultimately ended up eating it himself (see, it’s hard to hate him when he does stuff like this). the idea of having multiple shared interests and base a whole ass conversation on it makes me want to kick my legs in the air and just pray for it not to resemble juno’s situationship with the man she’s supposed to give her unwanted baby to
i just watched juno today
i can’t remember nothing else but the fact we said goodbye with a fist bump and it was cute somehow
i just hope things stay like this, i’ve gotten rid of the constant urge of talking to him and i’m glad since, recently, when i talk to him i’m not left with a feeling of emptiness that makes me want to throw up but, a reason for my best friends to roll their eyes at me
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the-bluestreak-cat · 1 month ago
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My extremely personal red flag is if you’ve never lived independently.
Do not open tags it’s just a personal vent and I hit the tag limit (30) and that’s never happened to me before ajskdlf
#like not even having to live alone I think living with roommates gets a similar enough experience#and this is a vague blog but not for someone on this site (of course)#plus it is entirely founded on deep jealousy but like#but like man. I don’t wanna live with you if you’ve never had to maintain your own life before! bc it’s not a magic thing that happens#I’ve been ‘on my own’ for years at this point and I still struggle to keep my shit intact. maybe ur just That Good but tbh#I don’t wanna live with That attitude either!#idk man. like. it’s food. it’s dishes. keeping the floors clean. the bathroom clean. making sure you don’t run out of groceries or toiletry#it’s having a schedule of events around you. it’s being able to get places around you. it’s doing shit on ur own without friends#and again. I’m being unduly harsh. lord knows they’re better with their finances than me and that I had a spoiled ass childhood#the kind that spills into adulthood the way I refused to change my own car battery#I get that most of these things are there bc there’s limited space and they wanna care for their family and have a nest egg before moving#and it’s impossible to be mad at them for that bc it makes too much sense to do it. I’d do it if I got along better with my parents#idk. I feel like a shithead for not prioritizing them over other things in my life and it makes me defensive#bc I have to keep my life on track myself and at times it feels like they don’t#and I got frustrated bc I was late to a meetup bc I had to cook dinner and their mom brings them dinner every other day#and again. I get it. god knows I get it. but I also feel frustrated#I’d been considering a trip where we could see a national landmark but we’d have to drive two hours one way. and they’re anxious driving#and like. one time their friends car was shitting itself but that friend still ended up driving. come on dude#it is spoiled kid syndrome and my personal hamartia and I could be infinitely more understanding but#I cannot fathom not going somewhere bc I’m scared. if I want it that bad I figure it out. and sometimes it’s miserable but it’s done#and I cannot see a world where I live with someone too nervous to do things themself#urgh. I think they got into a bad wreck once when they were driving. idk. they mentioned it once in passing but I remembered them mentioning#I feel like a boomer haha.#what’s the plan for the rest of ur life? it has to be finding someone who will take on these for you#maybe not. maybe they’ll actually grow and find ways to be a person by themself but uh. depending on a person changing is bad business#I’m probably just a tightass. I couldn’t handle a roommate on account of being a huge control freak anyway lol#it’s unrelated but I’m sure I feel bad bc their other close friend (car shitting friend) is really good about this kind of stuff#driving them around covered food payments plus gifts vacations etc#hard not to feel like if I were more magnanimous this wouldn’t be a problem. but I’m not#and I shouldn’t feel bad about it but I do? bc friend b is a total star and I’m like. normal lol
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insanechayne · 4 months ago
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~ ~ ~
#every time I call someone my best friend they turn into a fucking problem that just hurts me and makes me sick#is it me? am I doing something wrong? am I not supposed to have close friends?#or am I just such a fuckup that by being myself it’s inevitable that I’ll ruin my friendships?#kissed my bro on the cheek last week when he wasn’t doing too great and in my mind I was doing it just as an extra way to be encouraging#and show my support and that I’m here for him cause tbh I’ve done that with plenty of other friends and it ain’t no thing#but after a week of wondering why he’s been distant and not wanting to be around me when I’m saying I just need some time with a friend he#finally admits that he thought that was weird and out of line. so I gotta backtrack and try to explain myself but now all the stupid little#pieces be fitting and I realize that he’s probably been misconstruing me wanting time with him as thinking I’m gonna try to flirt with him#or something else fucking dumb like that. despite the fact that that has never been the case and he knows me fundamentally as a person and#should know I wouldn’t ever do anything that could make either of us cheaters even incidentally. plus he’s basically like a brother to me#and I have an AFAB partner so it’s not like I’m trolling for cock anyway and he knows that too. but now I gotta go back through every#interaction we’ve had since that happened and analyze whether or not I was weird or awkward or inappropriate in some way that he could be#upset about at all. and also act like everything is fine and keep it pushing like normal and police every future action to be safe too#because of course he can’t just be straight up about anything or tell me if something bothered him no I gotta play a whole ass fucking#guessing game. and now I also can’t trust that my best friend who is supposed to know me so well won’t take things I say/do the wrong way.#can’t trust that my best friend won’t see me in a poor light now because it’s clearly been affecting the friendship#and like totally that’s my bad I overstepped a boundary I didn’t realize was there but you should have just fucking told me at the time#instead of pulling this shit and giving me anxiety and blowing me off and making me feel like shit#can’t rely on him or trust him or anything and what’s the fucking point of even having a best friend if this is what happens? I’m at the end#of my fucking rope right now so stressed and anxious and no matter how much I try to talk to him or anything he just brushes me off and#won’t let me explain or get my feelings out or anything else. but hey at least I was around for him the other day when he needed somebody#good thing I was there to keep him from going back to drinking or something else stupid and could help him out. cause that’s what really#matters right just being able to help somebody else when they need it even if they don’t reciprocate and are actively hurting me instead of#just being there for me as a friend. guess we try again tomorrow huh? what else can be done I suppose. just get to suffer and be riddled#with anxiety and stress and depression eating away at me and ruining my fucking life. can’t even enjoy the Olympics or anything else because#I’m stuck overthinking this dumb shit. just want this to be over and things to be back to normal. wanna stop being upset about this shit and#be able to let it go but I don’t fucking know how and I can’t keep losing friends because it’s killing me#personal
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rosicheeks · 1 year ago
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