#if thats genuinely what you take away from this post then go back to english class

[ziggysgender]

Me searching sam beckett autism in AO3 and Tumblr pulls a frightening zero amount of content talk to me here

its genuinely upsetting Yes............. ik one of my mutuals is working on a sam autism fic im not too sure when thats dropping. BUT. in the meantime,, lets discuss

long post beware 👇👇👇

extracted from the DSM-5 autistic criteria.

> Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history

1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions. 

2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

3. Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understand relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.

sam does indeed struggle with social cues and communication. he does blend in, but not entirely well. his constant attempting to adapt to different people and personalities, both in his leaping, and also in his canon backstory, is noticeably lacking. that being said, he is VERY empathetic. people are very drawn to him. more often than not either in a "what the fuck is wrong with you" way. or a "hey lets have sex" (he does not want to have sex) way. he is also frequently fixated on learning languages outside of english. not that he plans to communicate in these languages, he simply wants a base connection to other people and this is how he does it. learning is his love language.

> Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history.

1. Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypes, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

2. Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).

3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

4. Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g. apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

i mean. any episode can show you easily sam stims OFTEN. usually due to negative input, he will make certain gestures with his hands or entire body. you've got al frequently reminding sam to calm down. sam's reaction to being overwhelmed is usually either to become angry and lash out (emotionally or physically) or to shut down completely. he has had entire meltdowns such as going quiet and running away to cry. this didnt make al bat an eye, then knew exactly how to correct it. if you wanna talk about fixated interests, man has 7phd's...

ALSO. JIMMY.

jimmy is the one leapee sam has encountered the MOST. he leaped into him twice (not encludinb shock theater), met his older brother three times. he connected the MOST deeply to him. he even made an appearance in the last episode. and every time he has encountered jimmy, he instantly became ecstatic; running to wordlessly hug anyone he knew he could trust with his disabilities.

in the actual episode "jimmy" sam has a meltdown over how he is treated. he cries to al about how different he's acting in this body. to which al responds he is actually acting exactly the same as normal. sam doesnt understand completely, but the conversation progresses to al's sister.

sam is also embodying jimmy in "shock theater", yknow, when his mind is slipping away and his most important past leaps take over. yeah that one.

jump to "runaway". sam has a longwinded conversation with his leap's mother about how he feels like a "non-person". how he doesnt feel real or connected to anyone.

now jumping to the NOVELS. theres several examples here but specifically Prelude. where we get this insane page of text:

um. anyways. sam beckett is autistic ;P

[kaleidoscopic-quiddity]

ever wonder how badly skewed the statistics of trans men being murdered are by our families and/or the media portraying us as lesbians or cishet tomboys? how the same almost definitely goes for corrective rape, forced pregnancy, physical assault, domestic abuse, intentional medical malpractice, forced homeless, and pretty much every other hate crime?

ever think about how trans men are told that we're 'less oppressed' or 'benefit from male privilege' when really what actually happens is that the vast majority of violence towards us is taken out of context and painted as 'just' lesbophobia or misogyny rather than specific bigotry towards trans men by virtue of us being trans men?

because i sure do fuckin think about it all the time

[enhyupn]

⧉ enhypen as your classmate that has a crush on you! ᝢ ∷

pairings: ot7 enhypen members x gn!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of violence in jay’s one

genre: pure fluff + high school!au

a/n this also. Was in my drafts 💭 i was contemplating if i should post this or not but here i am 😫 i Post too much sorry everyone iJust have no life outside of school 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

⌗ heeseung

heeseung is definitely the type of person that tries to talk to the person he sits beside all the time

he nudges you all the time and whispers your name whenever he wants your attention

and the fact he had a huge crush on you also added to it

enhypen always have to listen to him since he never ever stops talking about you. like ever.

“oh my god you will never know what y/n told me when i—” and suddenly he’s cut off by the rest of them yelling “we know!”

you never snap at him because you kinda... enjoy the attention

maybe thats how you knew you kinda liked him too, since you could never let sunoo get away with this if he ever called for your name in class

your relationship only stopped there for a while, since the two of you lowkey scared of each other

“no i feel like y/n’s gonna snap at you one day, like completely just punch you in the face” jay once told him and ever since, he’s never looked at you the same

you think heeseung’s just intimidating, the amount of times you’ve jumped in your seat whenever he’s called your name is numerous

although, one day you fell asleep in class due to the fact you left your english essay last minute the night before

heeseung, noticing you drooling on the table, wrote down the notes for you

he handed them to you after class and you were so touched that you couldn’t stop telling sunoo about it

“his hand writing’s so neat and—” “i get it, you can shut up now!”

you even told heeseung his hand writing was the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen for a week straight

he was happy of course, but honestly unsure how he was supposed to reply to the compliment

he figured out by himself that all he needed to do was ask you if you wanted him to write your name

“heeseung, i mean it! i can’t get over how you write ‘the’, it’s just so— so neat!” “oh really? let me write your name out”

being the smooth guy that he was, wrote down his number instead of your name

and you being the oblivious person you were, ended up being utterly confused

“heeseung i think—” “I WROTE MY NUMBER ON PURPOSE”

you never really got over the shock, nonetheless still took his number and texted him that night

you ended that night by kicking your feet in the air with your face feeling like it was on fire

oh, you also ended up planning a date with heeseung on saturday, not a big deal

it was actually the biggest deal ever

the rest of the head canons are under the cut!

⌗ jay

jay was 100% the type to tease someone when he had a crush to get their attention

he wanted all your attention and the way he got that was through telling you your portrait of a dog looked stupid

well yeah, it did but he didn’t need to point it out

everyone in your art class knew jay had a raging crush on you

he just didn’t know how to express it

his friend jake told him the way into your heart was talking about a mutual interest

jake was, sort of, right about his advice. well, until you and jay started bickering about a character you loved but he oh so hated

“mabel in gravity falls was annoying and weird” “jay if you say that one more time i will shove this paint brush down your throat”

jake, who was trying to play cupid, could not understand why he was so bad at this

i mean jay had no problem getting girls to like him but you? did you genuinely hate jay or something?

“no jake i don’t hate jay” well that answered his question

“he’s just weird” “weird? i’m weird?” “yeah do i need to repeat it again? park jay is weird” you two were a match made in heaven

jay didn’t know when but he had a revelation, maybe this wasn’t the approach he should take to get your attention

after that, he started to be extremely nice to you

it definitely scared you

“d-did i do anything?” “what no? i’m just saying your painting looks beautiful y/n” “oh no something’s definitely going to happen”

he was finally tired of trying so hard while ending up with nothing achieved

jake, being the one out of the two who had the most realistic ideas, decided to give him one more tip

“do you think it’ll work?” “it’s fool proof”

the tip was simply him asking you out to the movies, something that was a little too forward for jay

“no i don’t think it’ll work jake” “jay i swear to god you are going to end up single For the Rest of your Life”

it took... many attempts... and many insults towards you for him to even get the first line out

“Y/NPLEASEGOTOTHEMOVIESWITHME” “the movies? sure” “wait, really? i meant it in a romantic way by the way” “oh? sure i’m free on friday”

turns out you were into him too i mean it was kinda obvious from the way you dealt with those insults

even when you started dating after that date, the insults never stopped

it just now targeted jake, who really is just asking for it at this point from the amount of times he’s asked for credit for ‘getting both of you together’

he was never getting that credit

⌗ jake

jake would leave secret love letters in your locker every time he walked past it

i mean the action wasn’t as secret as he thought it was due to the fact you knew he was the one leaving those letters

for god’s sake the boy was literally in almost all your classes, you were walking the same way as him when he slipped those letters in???

you still were very grateful for them

without them, i think you would of not coped with school

they were all incredibly detailed and even had little doodles drawn around them

you once had remembered he mentioned that he wrote these in the morning before school started during first period

he also told you he was really really shy you found it incredibly cute

the only way he could speak to you without melting was through these letters

somehow you decided that the best thing to do was put replies in his lockers too

his first reaction was complete embarrassment, the fact you knew who he was had his face heating up like nothing else

but he soon realised you didn’t think it was weird or creepy, you actually looked forward to his letters every school day

he mustered up so much courage after that to talk to you in person, to personally thank you

“THANK YOU Y/N!” “NO IT’S FINE JAKE YOU DON’T HAVE TO BOW”

he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck before pulling something out from his back pocket

the final letter in his series of love letters showing up in his hands

“open it” his shy smile making your brain Melt in endearment

the letter contained the usual, the hello y/n! and the usual chatter about his day

what you didn’t expect was the fact he had asked you out at the bottom of the letter

“y/n i’ve liked you for a while now, will you go out with me?” you read out loud before realising what you had just read. “OH MY GOD YOU ASKED ME OUT?”

you pull him into a tight hug, something that jake heated up at

“is this a yes?” “are you seriously asking that right now? of course we are”

you two became the most sickly sweet couple ever

plus the fact you still placed letters in each other’s lockers made enhypen gag (in an affectionate way)

they were just jealous nobody was putting letters in their lockers

⌗ sunghoon

sunghoon always seemed to be there whenever you needed help

especially since you two helped out at the library together every wednesday

he looked forward to it every week, you could tell from the fact ever tuesday he’d remind his friends that the next day he was seeing you again

“tomorrow’s wednesday you know what that means” “yes sunghoon we know, you’re seeing y/n tomorrow”

whenever he’s finished his work (which he does at an incredibly fast pace) he always seems to end up trailing you

constantly asking if you need help, desperate to do something

you find it endearing, always ending up chuckling at his whiney words

“y/n! do you need any help i’m finished” “not at the moment but if you wanna chat i can!”

out of all the enhypen members i feel like sunghoon would have the softest feelings for his crush

like even outside of your assigned library work, he’d constantly check up on you during lunch

“here y/n! it’s a packet of those gummies you like” “how sweet that you remembered! thanks for them”

you, even with sunghoon’s constant affection, couldn’t realise he had a crush on you

you thought that he was like that with everyone, you didn’t think that you were particularly special to get any type of unique treatment from park sunghoon

it wasn’t until your classmate asked you if you and sunghoon were dating

“hey are you and sunghoon dating?” “ummmm no why” “oh my friend wanted to know, they like him that’s why”

that didn’t sit well with you.

you thought long and hard about it but there was literally no reason for you to be bothered about it

i mean? you didn’t like him like that right

wrong

you decided to ask his dearest friend heeseung for help

“heeseung what do i do why do i feel like this” “i don’t know ask sunghoon” “...you aren’t helping”

heeseung being the big blabber mouth he is, told sunghoon all of this

“y/n won’t shut up about you” “really? you’re telling me the truth right? please don’t lie to me”

from many many uplifting comments from his friends, sunghoon was able to talk to you without mentioning the library

“so... what did you do in art class today?” “oh? i don’t do art” i mean at least he tried

after a few attempts he finally hit the nail on the head, securing his place as one of your friend... not the position he was aiming for but at least it was something

that’s when he prepared himself for the final boss (that’s what heeseung called the plan)

interrupting the conversation you both had on what disney show was the best, he popped the big question

“no but mulan was pretty good too also do you wanna go on a date with me” “oh sure! that was really random though”

i mean his timing was incredibly terrible but you were over the moon

even with the calm messages the both of you had sent, the two of you were screaming at your screen, unable to contain any composure

i mean it’s sunghoon... even if he handed you a piece of trash to as his way of asking you out you’d still say yes

⌗ sunoo

no but sunoo definitely asks your friend what your favourite song is and puts it on his story so you can slide up and be like “omg!! i love this song”

OH he also texts you randomly at 11:11 and 22:22 so you think it’s a sign

he so so so desperately wants your attention all the time

he goes up to you at lunch even when you’re with all your friends and makes conversation with you making you forget all about your friends

he sits in front of you in maths! so he knows how bad you are at the subject, he can hear your muttering about how you got a question wrong every morning but don’t Worry! he finds it adorable for some reason

at first he started to pretend he wouldn’t understand a question so he could find a way to talk to you

“hey y/n! what’s six times five again” “are you serious?”

he’s actually kinda good at maths so you’re always confused on how he doesn’t understand basic multiplication but can get 90% on the algebra test

he loves, and i mean loves, talking to you during class

even if the teacher scolds him he doesn’t care, it’s simply the highlight of his day

he gets so pouty and jealous when you excuse him in the middle of a conversation to talk to someone else

he gets jealous especially whenever you talk to his friends instead of him

“hey ni-ki! what did you get for number five?” “oh i got—” “I GOT TWELVE FOR THAT ONE Y/N!”

you kinda adore it not gonna lie

at one point your teacher got incredibly fed up with you two talking class

so! sunoo resorted to passing notes to you

‘y/n did you hear? oh my god, jihan from the maths class beside us told me that yeojin from the year above us got suspended because she started fighting the teacher over her phone. can you believe that? i mean i would of done the same thing’

it was quite clear sunoo talked a lot even through notes too

i mean as if you didn’t reply with the same energy

‘I HEARD THAT TOO!! gowon from her class told me, plus! intak said he saw the whole thing too... omg honestly i think yeojin’s so cool for doing that. maybe i should fight our maths teacher if they try and yell at us for talking again?’

they were one of the many things sunoo loves you for <3

one day ni-ki, being the number one shipper of you two, decides to play Cupid on the two of you

he drew out a note that looked too similarly to a middle school confession text and placed it on sunoo’s desk

“do you like me y/n... tick one. yes. no.” “do you like it?” “what the fuck is this”

i mean sunoo Took it anyways, he knew you’d find it funny too

as usual, you prepared yourself for a long class of sliding notes to each other

you looked forward to it, you found it as a source of entertainment and you liked talking to sunoo anyways

“pssst, y/n!” “thanks— wait did you give me the right one?”

after many whisper shouts and glares from your teacher, he finally convinced you that they were the real deal

obviously. You chose yes

that’s how you landed a date with sunoo to a picnic at han river

sunoo and you were. Kinda.... thankful for ni-ki

you two just never wanted to admit his stupid cupid-ry worked

⌗ jungwon

definitely the type to ask you “what homework did we get?” so he can start a conversation with you

replies to your private story with like “omg that’s so funny” or like “PLSSSSS me too”

you do exactly the same with his ps honestly

he always talks to you before class and you have heated discussions about the homework the night before

YOU ALWAYS ALWAYS end up sitting beside him in every class you have together

like it’s not even on purpose anymore (it’s actually fate)

always lends you pens and pencils when you forget them

he also never Asks for them back so you Have like a stash of them at home beside your bed because you always forget to give them back to him

you and jungwon are the kids in pe class that walk around the track gossiping

“jake told me that half of the soccer team aren’t getting along these days because they all like the same person” “no way really? what about their team work, isn’t there some sort of huge match next week?”

the gossip only stays between you two but only ever during pe

you two talk about more, interesting things outside of pe

since you two are in basically every class together, you walk with him everywhere

once when you were about to trip over, jungwon caught you and when you realised you were in his arms, you just blankly stared at him for a good five seconds

once you got off of him your face started to heat up so fast jungwon’s too

every time you have homework due and you didn’t do it he lends you his word

“y/n take this! it’s the french homework from last class” “thanks so much jungwon!”

the real story starts with when you and him were practicing speaking french in the library

you, being terrible at french, needed some sort of help with this

jungwon decided that, even though he completely sucks at french, he should tutor you!

and there you were, ten reasons why i hate you style, in the library struggling on how to pronounce beaucoup

“bow-cewp” “good job y/n!” “jungwon i know for a fact that you don’t know if i’m saying this right”

you stuck up with it because, well because he’s jungwon

“je t'aime you”

i mean you were Terrible. at french but even the stupidest person in the world could figure that out

“i like you too jungwon, now help me with question six” “YOU COULD UNDERSTAND THAT?” “i had a paris phase when i was younger of course i did”

turns out the Parisian style bakery across the street is the perfect date on an afternoon after school

what was even more perfect was that you got 85% on your test with the help of your boyfriend

⌗ ni-ki

he was your partner in cookery class, the both of you had no cooking skills in your bones but you still made it work

you were in the class since your family constantly nagged at you for being terrible in the kitchen

while ni-ki enrolled because he needed the something to show his friends after school

ni-ki thinks he fell for you at first sight

you were baking cookies as your first task and you basically saved him by reminding him to put on oven gloves before getting the cookies out

“that’s the bare minimum” jay tells him. “i don’t care... you wouldn’t know what love feels like”

he looks forward to cooking class because if you every week

he even has it scheduled on his calendar

honestly it’s kind of a miracle the food you two make is some sort of eatable

he always asks you for help even if it’s the simplest thing ever

“y/n? which one is a cup?” “the one that literally says one cup?”

you don’t care though since you think it’s cute

you always end up doing most of the cooking and chopping whil ni-ki just washes the dishes and watches the pot boil which eagerly waits for the food to finish

you’ve met all of enhypen before since ni-ki likes them to gather around your creations and take pictures of them together

when enhypen first collected him from cookery class, they asked him which one of your classmates were you

he literally shyly pointed at you as he hid his face with his hair

“them” “huh? ni-ki who are you pointing at” “them, beside the fridge”

your final exam was to decorate and bake a cake

it’s safe to say from the many burnt cakes you and ni-ki have done, you two were in trouble

you both wanted that passing grade so you practiced almost everyday after classes the week before

he was in charge of the icing, apparently according to him it was his specialty

“look y/n!” “how cute! a little unreadable but very cute”

finally. the Day of the exam came

you both had to prepare and bake the cake together under two hours

you were lucky that you both weighed the ingredients before you arrived

it was definitely. The most stressful two hours you two had ever felt

it also didn’t help that ni-ki shooed you away when he was icing the cake

by the end of it, your face was Dusted with flour while ni-ki’s apron had butter and frosting stains all over it

you were instructed by ni-ki and even your teacher, to stand where the fridge was, out of your sight to see what he was doing to the cake

you were hazily scrolling through your phone when jungwon snapped you back into reality

turns out jungwon was outside the room the whole exam because ni-ki told him he needed support and having him there comforted him

almost instantly after your jungwon interaction, ni-ki called you from your table, excitedly waving his arms in the air

“y/n! y/n! i’m finished!” “perfect! let me—”

your eyes widened realising his cake didn’t say anything like ‘happy birthday’ like you two had planned

instead the icing spelt out a prettily written out ‘y/n, will you go on a date with me?’

your eyes seemed to water at the gesture, unsure why you got so emotional at icing

“n-ni-ki... that’s so c-cute” “why are you crying? oh my god you hate me don’t you?”

it took you ten minutes to stop sobbing (happy tears) and you gladly accepted his proposal

so now you got a Good grade and an amazing boyfriend that can... sort of! Cook

while eating the cake you were reminded with something, remembering some words from earlier

wait did mr lee know about this?

[daegalfangirl]

2021 tumblr moots/personal recap for daegalfangirl/kvydence/puppyjwoo of whatever the user was cus i forgot

stole this idea from charlie 🥰🥰🥰🥰

i started off on tumblr by creating a new blog, with what could potentially be my writing blog. i was super scared to go into it because english is not my first language and my writing drafts are always sloppy and messily written. the first person i interacted with and decided to become moots with was actually @bluejaem and idek how tf i found her so don't ask but i think she had like 30 followers at this time I DONT REMEMBER IM NOT SURE. but this is kind of why i value aditi as one of my most memorable moots. however along the way i was able to make more friends from a discord server that @junjungsunwoo made that kind of will lead up into me listing the most significant moots of this year... SO UHM LET ME BEGIN.

@treasuretaeil - MY LOVE MY NUMBER #1 FAV FOREVER. you will forever remain as my #1 moot words cannot describe how much i love you and miss you and wish the absolute best for you. i really don't know where the attachment to you came from LMFBSZ but you are literally the sweetest most welcoming person ever and it broke my heart to know you were struggling maintaining yourself on this platform but i'm glad your off now to focus on yourself. i will continue to cherish our memories from before and hold a place for you in my heart. I LOVE U!!!! 💗💗💗💓💗💓💗💓💓💗💗💓💓💗💗💓💗💗💗💓💗💗💗💓💗💓💓💗💗💓💗💗💓💓💗💓💓💓💓

@bluejaem - ummmm this was obvious hello and you have so many notifs (the fame or whateva😞) im gonna drop an ask and ANNOY YOU into reading this cus i know ur probably not gonna notice this on ur own 😒😒😒 OK. well u were one of my very first moots and i treasure you like so much i think you're like my 2nd or 3rd follower ever on tumblr which makes me SO happy to know you since the start of my writing blog on tumblr. i remember sending you asks and talking about how i was gonna open up my blog and i ended up just becoming extremely inconsistent since the timings were never quite... right. BUT LET ME PUT THE FOCUS BACK ON U 🥰🥰🥰 you are literally like the kindest girl ever and my heart goes out to you and seeing you grow so much makes me so happy for you and i just love how genuine you are and your blatant love for jaemin is the cutest thing ever i have never seen anyone with as much of a jaemin craze as you (except one of my irl friends who is also PSYCHO for this man) also i swear i remember one time like in my first couple asks i sent to you i was like "i love your writings we should be moots" or whatever tf i managed to type out but ummmmmm.... it's time i confess i have never read like a single one of your works LMFQIGXISGX IM SO SORRY i just wanted friends OBROWHXOSB anyways... i see posts of urs sometimes and im just like "ooh i'll read that later" and rfhen i never do SO. ANYWAYS. UHM we will move on from that... anyways idk how to conclude this but i hope you hit many more milestones next year because you 100% deserve it

@jaxminskale - girl idek wtf happened to you... you seriously just went inactive out of nowhere and you might never ever read this... but that's okay☺️ i always really liked you in that discord server rbh you were one of my favs you reminded me a lot of one of my old bffs from when i moved away so i felt that pull from your personality. THATS LOWK KIND OF WEIRD THOUFH. but we'll move on from that... you were so good to get along with like the female chenle nickname was 100% CORRECT. anywyas i hope you're doing good and taking care of yourself. 😊😊

@junjungsunwoo - A LITERAL ANGEL AHHHHDFWHZSH. you are the sweetest person ever yena you have the kindest heart and i will literally fight anyone who says otherwise. you are probably my #1 kindest moot and i will forever cherish you as that. you were definitely memorable to me as well even though i doubt i may be for you since i was uhmmmmm VERY INCONSISTEN T when it came to my activity. i don't know what to add but i love you and your sweet angelic personality please never change it. i've seen you at a low point and i've seen you at your high points and i hope i communicate with you more going into 2022 🥰🥰🥰💗💗💗

@trippy-dejun - WHERE THE HELL DID U COME FROM. iDK WHY THAT SOUNDED SO RUDE BUT I GENUINELY HAVE NO IDEA WHEN I MET U. however i still love u and you mean a lot to me. everytime i come back for like 5 minutes (only to go inactive for another few months) you're always so welcoming and smother me with love it's like cute annoying grandma vibes wirhout the annoying because i love the affection but this is the only time i'm admitting to it. U RLLY DO GIVE ME MORHER VIBES THOUGH... but i think ur my age or maybe a teeny bit younger BUT THIS SHOULD NOT BE FAKEN AS AN INSULT like you're crazy as hell so maybe like crazy nice animal mom. PERFECT DESCRIPTION IDCCCC anyways i lOVE U and hope ur doing amazing. maybe i'll drop by on discord and say something in the server to yall and smother you guys with love for a change. 😊 Sike (to the smother part i'll drop by LORD im not that bad of a friend/moot)

@taemin-jaemin - i also have no idea when we met i just remember seeing you and thinking who is that but never confronting it and i just saw you and yena in the same light as like two twins OR SOMETHING WOXHWU IDK like you're such an angel so sweet and everything even though we don't interact as frequently as id like i hope that you're doing well and take a break from the collabs THIS GOES FOR U TOO @junjungsunwoo LORD. y'all need to take a break seriously like take a nap... drink some water... JK but i genuinely do wish the best for u sarah i hope we have more chances to interact more going into 2022.

@kpopsnowball - your personality was always too perfect for me to believe it. we stopped interacting but that didn't make me forget you. you always stood out to me as someone memorable for your sweet and caring attitude. you are such a genuine friend and have the kindest soul ever and i wish no one ever takes advantage of that because you really do deserve the best. i didn't want to make this one really long for you i just wanted to give you something short to appreciate you.

@jaeminscoffee - tbh we no longer interact either but you were also very memorable to me because of how we would interact. you were the only moot where i had lengthy conversations with in my tumblr messages and it was just so fun i always smiled reading your messages. although we no longer talk i do cherish the conversations we had and hope that you have an amazing new year!!!!💓💓💓💓💓

@renchinworld - YOU!! YES YOU!! hi u might not remember me since i've only sent an ask once (or twice?) and we've only messaged just a TEENY bit, but you are someone id like to interact with more. i don't rlly actively seek to interact with any of my new moots but YOU i feel a pull towards you. you seem very similar to me and it makes me wanna be friends with u so bad LMFAOOO but i really hope that we do get to interact more coming into the new year and i'll be sure to drop by and read your AMAZING works bc i will never forget that fic that i actually did forget the name of like i have vague memory of the title but i'm not guessing it because i'm not trying to embarrass myself. ANYWAYS moving on... i will try my best for us to have more frequent interactions! just you watch 😴😴😴😴

FINAL NOTE

i wrote this all in the night it's 3:20am currently and i am feeling absolutely exhausted but i wanted to finish this and post it no rereading FUCK the grammar mistakes idc these are my raw genuine feelings i get so emotional in the night so there y'all have my love my feelings towards y'all. in conclusion I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!! Thank you for making my first year on tumblr as amazing as it was. 😊

and that's a wrappppppppppppp bai

EDIT UPDATE:

I FORGOT SOMEONE SO SO SOSO IMPORTANT IN MY MOOTS RECAP I AM SUCH AN AWFUL PERSON IDK WHY I FROGTO TO PUT SYMONE

@symoneismeh SYMONE I AM SO SORRY 😭 I DONT KNOW HOW YOU SLIPPED OFF MY MIND WHEN YOU CONTRIBUTED SO MUCH TO ME ON TUMBLR THIS YEAR. okay omfg firstly i am actually SO sorry for that idk how i forgot 😭 but just like yena i think you are an absolute angel with the kindest soul. i was blessed to have the opportunity to meet you and become moots with you because you genuinely are such an amazing person and my days become brighter when i talk to you. thank you for all you've done with me this past year and i hope we can interact more in 2022. I LOVE U SO SOSOSOSO MUCH AND IM SO SORRY 💗💗💗💗💗💗

[astro-break]

Quick first thoughts on the first ep of the Hypmic Anime. Spoilers beware (and im writing this as I watch so :p)

Otome’s speech is.... questionable from a persuasive point of view. Manga did a great job of introducing her (which you can read here) but they really cut out the more terrifying parts of her speech and how she uses force to show people that she's not to be messed with

Its cool seeing everyone in their respective environments though. thats cool. Though they could have added Sasara and Kuuko (shhh i know why they didn’t let me dream)

I love how poppy the typography is. Its amazing how the visuals just leap out at you. The OP does a great job of this. The first few seconds before the title really gives me Persona 4 OG OP vibes with the influx of information given. The rest is a clear concise and streamlined way that still gives character. Animation is sparse but still carries across a general idea of each character and shows off each character object. Rendering is really nice and pays a bit of homage to the posing artwork thats done for the MVs. They also do their division hand signals and thats cute

Love how the OP has blatant HifuDoppo and DRB matchup foreshadowing

so far I really like what theyre going for. BB is about brotherly familial bonds and they show the goods and the bads. Jiro and Saburo bickering right out the gate really cements the fact that they get along like cats and dogs but you can still see that they love each other, working together when the situation calls for it

Now the 3d models. Theyre... not great but usable if you don’t look too hard. They serve their purpose and don’t actively detract from the viewing experience.

Visual typography in the rap itself are fun and poppy but they dont.... speak to me? like theyre there yes and I appreciate them but the only ones that got me excited were from Ichiro’s rap

I take my words back the group portion was kickass and I apologize

I love how they interpret the Hypnosis Speakers though. Esp. Saburo’s organs. That was super creative and I love it! If there was one thing that I felt was missing from the franchise was a deeper exploration of the speakers but the anime puts a new and fresh spin on it! Love it, especially with their attack patterns!

If the production team ever feels inclined to, Id love to see those info sheets on Otome’s desk released. There seems to be very interesting info and stats written out about each member (like capabilities, personal status etc.) They all seem unique too so I really really really hope they release images of those sheets

OOOOOOOOKAY MTC. I have such a big biased for them so Im very torn to see what unfolds

Rio striking out on his own is interesting. Out of everyone in MTC hes the biggest team player yet here he trusts his teammates to go ahead. This either displays Rio’s willingness to trust his teammates or it becomes very OOC if the anime wants to set him up as a lone wolf like character

I love how they specify its a drug deal. It means that Jyuto surely will show up and it also shows that Samatoki knows Jyuto’s motives and willingly gives black market info that he knows aligns with Jyuto’s goal. Thats A+ detail writing there and a great establishing characteristic for both of them

OOohhhhhhhhhhhhh man Asunama-san’s voice acting is god tier his work as Samatoki is phenomenal. He pulls of Samatoki’s threatening voice so well with those almost calm words before his voice becomes loud and confrontational. Those rolling syllables in contrast to Komada-san’s almost lyrical and airy speech and Kamio-san’s strict and enunciated words is such a delight to hear. It just speaks to how amazing and great these Seiyuu’s are in order to pull of such amazing work

Im so biased but MTC has such a better rap than BB im so sorry. Just by watching Samatoki’s part, the imagery is amazing. Even the arrival of his Hypnosis Speaker was awesome and sent a shiver down my spine. using the lyrics to form blades and blood was such a great thing to do. Theres so much more variety that just him standing there and shots of his hypnosis speaker. The old fashioned vignette shots, the four panel spread, the nods to old Kurosawa era films are great and I love these small details. Even the typography looks better.

Again, the interpretations with the speakers is fresh and new. Its great and I love the different imagery and attack patterns. Each one is so unique but carries across each different style of rap.

The 3d modles aren’t any better tho lol

(Hi this is Astro who is reading over their assessment again and making a note. Yeah I’m a bit harsh on BB’s rap. I’m not going to change it since I still stand by it and this post is supposed to be a documentation of my first impressions. I think one of the reasons why I’m so harsh on BB is because of their dynamic as a trio of brothers. They Have to have a more uniform approach than the other divisions. Which in of itself isn’t a terrible thing, it just doesn’t catch my eye as much as MTC did. Thats all! I definitely don’t hate BB, they’re maybe my 3rd favorite division out of the current lineup [not including TDD era teams like Kujaku Posse, MCD, and Naughty Busters] its just that their rap was pretty meh)

Samatoki crouching like a real gangstar and the cigarette kiss killed me

sadjkhfjkasdghsadjkcsdjhsdfsjhf im dying i love these trio of dumbasses so uch oh y fod someone save me aaaaaaaa (Astro note here! yeah i died when the jyuto and samatoki’s stomach growled im weak please. Samatoki’s face is just so precious and funny I might set it as a profile pic somewhere)

But also my initial assessment of Rio possibly being characterized as a lone wolf is very much jossed and im very thankful for that. It seems that Rio was simply trusting his teammates to carry out their part of the plan while he carried out his own. I like that, it really shows how much of a team these three are and that they genuinely trust each other. He’s also comfortable enough around them to invite them to dinners after work casually and not just for special occasions.

I really love MTC guys

Oooh! we get Ramuda on his design process which is really cute. the inside of his studio is super cute and retro and i love it. the poppy old music you would hear in a cafe or 90′s resturaunt is also really cute (astro note: yeah i know that in ARB you see the interior of Ramuda’s office but its kinda different seeing it animated)

the translation i have has gentaro speaking in early modern english (Shakespearian english for those who aren’t english nerds like me) but from what I can hear, he doesn’t speak in a particularly old fashioned way? Its more formal than old? and hes speaking without any of his character persona lying thing that he likes to do (as he refers to himself as “Shousei” throughout the segment where hes in Ramuda’s office which is kind of his default pronoun of choice). so its kinda odd for the translation to go in that direction but im not complaining

Gendice banter is gold but it feels... flat? a little? it doesn’t have the same impact as in the drama cds or in the manga? i feel? Also Ramuda using gratuitous english is??? idk how to feel about that

kjshf thats against the rules Ramuda omgggg,,,,,,,, (astro note again: while watching i was under the assumption that using your hypmic for monetary gain such a as buskering [which is what FP is doing] is against the rules. May not be the case but whatever)

FP’s rap might be my favorite in terms of tune and lyrics though. It’s a nice laid back bop and really gives of chill vibes. the integration of 3d and 2d is really nice and i love how they play off each other in the rap. The wordplay is so fun with little nods here and there and the beat is poppy too so it really energizes me.

Ramuda’s rap concerns me slightly since he makes very subtle and small nods towards his past (being created in a laboratory, warfare, and his overall very unpleasant life experiences) but spins it into something cutesy. It could be a coping mechanism, it could be me overthinking it. But it does make me worry a bit. Gentaro and Dice’s rap really play off each other with Gentaro sticking to stories and Dice taking up the baton by carrying on that same imagery but putting his own spin on it.

the self awareness of how scattered they are as a team is interesting though. It doesn’t seem like something you’d speak about in a rap? but i guess since its not really a do or die situation they can afford to be looser on things like this.

Right off the bat, i don’t like how they handled Hifumi and Doppo in relation to Hifumi’s fear of women. Slug made a post once talking about this and I echo many of his sentiments. Hypmic has never been very tactful about tackling this particular issue and while I didn’t have high hopes that the anime would be any better it hurts to see Doppo take away the one thing that allows Hifumi to function within society.

Doppo’s breakdown mirrors a lot of my own mental state when I spiral though its shown a lot quicker than what happens to me oof. that hits close to home. though Jakurai’s advice is. Questionable. Its not the best advice to give to someone but we have no idea what kind of doctor Jakurai is so ill let it slide

Jakurai’s pose looks like hes going to do a mahou shoujou transformation lmao

I don’t have many thoughts about the rap though again. How they visualize the rap is interesting. the different imagery is quite interesting for each of them and the typography is nice a distinct but im still on the fence about the visuals here

The sound is in the same boat. The sound effects either drown out the rap or are too quet but some parts are nice at least. When they talk about Tokyo’s beating heart, the heartbeat sound is a but distracting especially since its only played once. But the imagery is at least nice

I wonder if for the eds they’re going to take a similar approach to what Enstars did and have a four different endings, one for each division. I love the blend of styles here and it really accentuates that although they’re different they mesh well together.

Ramuda’s silhouette though is hilarious. Love it.

:p and thats it. Uh not bad for a first episode. Established all 12 characters really nicely and their dynamics. I had some problems with it but then again nothing is perfect. I look forward to what they show us next week

[a-little-slice-of-fandom]

The Queens on Holiday part 3/?

Before I start, this is just a casual reminder that I now have an insta account (@we_stan_six)! Go follow me if you like the sort of stuff I post here :)

Anyway, sorry this third installment took so long to get around to. Personal life caught up with me and I really don't want to half ass any of my headcanons. It just doesn't feel right, ya know? (Also I can’t do the read more thing on mobile IM SORRY OKAY?)

Parr shouts for help because that bag has all of her clothes, shoes, the medical kit and three signed books in it

Problem is, they’re in Italy and no one can understand the tiny woman with curly hair shouting madly in a language they don’t speak

Aragon isn’t helping as she’s just sort of flailing her arms about wildly and screaming in Spanish

Jane grabs what looks to be a security guard and tries desperately to explain the situation to them

Cleves goes full on superwoman and breaks into a sprint

Boleyn drops her bags and follows on her heels

Boleyn’s heelys finally come in handy as she zooms through the crowd

The two catch up with the man and wrench the bag from his hand

He just stands there, dumbfounded and confused

There’s a few whispers coming from onlookers in the airport

“Why is no one applauding our valiant act of heroism?” “I mean it wasn’t that-” “we risKED OUR LIVES” “Boleyn it’s not-“ “WHEN WILL JUSTICE BE SERVED”

The other four queens rush up to the scene

People are starting to call for security

Howard quickly smiles at the man and, to the other queens surprise, the two begin to converse in Italian

“You never said you spoke Italian” “no one ever asked” “Never mind that, why was he trying to steal my bag?”

The two continue to converse

All the colour drains from Howard’s face

Turns out, the man is partially blind and genuinely thought Parr’s bag was his. He started running because he saw the time and realised he was about to miss his connection flight

His wife comes up behind them, holding her own bag and an exact copy of Parr’s bag except this one has a different name tag on it

The other queens all start trying to profusely apologise in a variety of different languages. English, French, German, Italian, Spanish.

Parr accidentally slips into Korean once or twice in her flustered state

The couple just sort of back away from the queens and run to get their flight

The six of them all take a quick breath and let the adrenaline drain from them

“Uh, queens”

Aragon is pointing over their shoulders

An army of buff security guards are questioning a few witnesses to what just happened

All fingers are pointing to the queens

“What does that mean? “IT MEANS RUN”

So the queens leg it out of the airport and pile into the nearest taxi without warning

Howard is in the front so she can translate

There’s only three seats in the back, so the other five queens are all squished together in a mess of limbs

“Are we there yet” “for the sixth time-OW” “Oh come on Parr that couldn’t have hurt that much!” “Im delicate okay?” Who the hell is hurting my goddaughter?” “Guys I can’t feel my legs anymore” “are we there yet?” “NO”

Since the queens missed their original flight, they’re really behind schedule

They can either miss their tour of the Vatican and go to the hotel to drop their bags off, or they can do the tour and miss the hotel’s dinner

Aragon is DETERMINED to see the Sistine chapel

Cleves and Boleyn also seem pretty interested in doing a tour of the Vatican

Cleves explains quietly to Aragon that yes, she might have been raised a Lutheran but she converted to Catholicism at Mary’s request. The least she could do was tour the place that Aragon’s daughter loved so much

Aragon is incredibly touched

Boleyn just wants to try and find the angel that’s giving the medieval version of the finger thats painted on the ceiling of the Sistine chapel

The queens decide to spilt up.

Aragon, Boleyn and Cleves will do the tour, while Seymour, Howard and Parr head on with the bags and check into the hotel

Just as Seymour hops out of the cab, she gives the trio a long list of instructions on what to do and what definitely not to do

The not to do list is directed solely at Boleyn

Only Aragon actually listens

Seymour turns to Parr and Howard

“Was I right? In letting them go by themselves, I mean?” “Absolutely, mum” “No they’re definitely going to d-I mean yeah”

So they check into the hotel without much of a fuss

Seymour still can’t believe that Howard speaks Italian and never mentioned anything about it

Howard is more surprised that Parr didn’t join the others at the Vatican

Turns out she just wanted to make sure she got the better room at the hotel

So Seymour, Parr and Howard all reward themselves for actually getting to italy by taking the bigger room with the queen sized beds, balcony and mini-fridge

Seymour insists that they only took this room so Boleyn wouldn’t cost them a small fortune by raiding the mini-fridge and definitely not because this room as a jacuzzi bath

“Should we really let Aragon and Boleyn share a room for a week?” “That can be Cleves problem”

So the they go to dinner

Seymour and Parr share a bottle of wine

Parr gets emotional when tipsy

*Hiccup* “you guys...you guys know how much the show means to me right? And you queens are so *hiccup* amazing and I’m so glad the producers raised us from the dead”

Howard eats so much Italian gelato she can’t even look at it for the rest of the week

Seymour’s phone begins ringing just as the bill for dinner arrives

It’s a number she doesn’t recognise.

She answers anyway, and to her surprise, it’s Aragon

“Jane! Thank goodness, now you need to listen to me really carefully it’s incredibly-GET OFF ME ANNA-

Jane can hear some faint shuffling as Cleves takes the phone

“Hey, Seymour. How are things? Good? That’s great. Now the thing is we’re sort of in a bit of trouble right now and-”

Cleves shouts a string of curses so colourful they could put even the pride flag to shame as the phone is snatched from her hand

Now it’s Boleyn

“JANE FOR GOD’S SAKE GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND HELP US THEY’RE GONNA KILL ME!”

Howard and Parr can both hear the other queens bickering with one another over the phone

People are giving them strange looks

“Mum, turn speakerphone off” “it is off!”

Jane sighs and returns to the phone call

“Queens, calm down. I can’t understand you when you’re squabbling like children. Now what’s wrong?”

Jane can barely believe their response

“WE’VE BEEN ARRESTED!”

BONUS

Meanwhile, back in London, the Ladies in Waiting and the three alternates are having a quiet week to themselves all things considered.

Howard’s service dog may have terrorised a family picnic or two when Joan took it for a walk but other than that things have gone well

Maggie suggests they all have night in together

Before Maggie can even finish her suggestion the alternates are ordering pizza

While Maria runs out to pick up their order, the others decide to play a game of monopoly

Within about thirty seconds Bessie and Joan and are no longer on speaking terms and one of the alternates has already been in jail six times

“Huh,” another one of the alternates murmurs, concentrating intensely on the news broadcast and trying to block out the brewing row “apparently some idiot just set the Sistine Chapel on fire...”

[beauzoleils]

ABIGAIL  COWEN ,  CISFEMALE ,  SHE / HER    →   according  to  the  school  records ,  NATALIE  LUCILLE  BEAUSOLEIL  has  been  attending  sacred  heart  for  the  past  three  years .  i  last  saw  them   hanging  around  the  john  bracken  library  ;  i  think  they  were  working  on  writing  her  novel .  at  twenty - one  years  old ,  natalie  has  been  studying  english  literature  and  get  this ,  i   heard  that  she’ll  zone  out  while  writing  papers  for  class  and  come  to  surrounded  by  pages  and  pages  full  of  archaic  languages  she  doesn’t  speak   —   figure  it’s  true ?  everyone  around  here  always  associates  them  with  a  moonlight  sonata  echoing  through  empty  halls ,  seats  in  the  back  row  at  the  opera ,  and  dead  flowers  pressed  between  the  pages  of  an  old  book .  in  the  time  since  these  strange  happenings ,  they  have  encountered  unexplained  occurrences .     

HI ,  hello .  i’m  hannah  n  this  is  like .  the  only  thing  i’ve  been  thinking  about  recently ,  aka  i’m  so  excited .  ok  anyway !  i’m  20 ,  kickin  it  in  the  est !  i’m  a  full  time  student  ( majoring  in  being  a  dumb  bitch  n  gay  rights  and  i’m  at  the  top  of  my  class  baby . . )  and  i’m  ALSO  a  preschool  teacher  so  if  i’m  ever  Not  here ,  i’m  with  my  babies  ! !  but  that  isn’t  the  reason  why  ur  all  here . .   ur  here  for  an  intro  post !  so !  

let’s  talk  abt  my  girl . . .  𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐄  𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐈𝐋 !

okay .  so .  first  thing’s  first .  i  have  some  Real  Things  prepared  for  my  girl ,  including  but  not  limited  to :

a  pinterest  board !

a  stats  page !

and  what  i  call  NATALIE :  A  TRAGEDY  IN  THREE  ACTS .  it’s  kind  of  a  bio ,  mixed  in  with  some  stage  directions  here  and  there .  it’s  a  quick  read  n  rly  gives  you  that  Natalie  Flavor  if  you  know  what  i  mean . .  so  if  you  feel  so  inclined  n  wanna  take  a  look . .  but  full  disclosure  it  rly  does  hit  different  than  just  reading  this  intro 

anyway !  i’ll  give  a  more  condensed  version  of  her  bio  here  n  some  info  abt  her  personality  n  some  random  headcanons . .  etc !

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈 :  𝑨 𝑯𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑶𝑹𝒀

alright  SO .  our  girl  natalie  was  born  on  april  13 ,  1952  to  michel  and  colette  beausoleil .  it  was  a  thursday ,  and  it  was  ALSO  eleven  weeks  before  colette’s  due  date ,  so  we  all  know  that  can’t  be  good 

( spoiler  alert :  it  wasn’t )

natalie  was  supposed  to  be  a  twin ,  but  the  other  baby  ( a  boy  named  pierre )  didn’t  survive .  they  didn’t  think  that  natalie  would ,  but  she did !  unfortunately ,  her  parents  were  too  wounded  by  the  loss  of  their  other  baby  and  it  was  all grieving  and  no  celebrating .  

also .  there’s  more  info  abt  her  parents  n  how  they  met  in  the  bio  but ,  a  sparknotes  version  is  that  michel  was  a  playwright  in  paris  and  colette  was  a  ballerina / his  muse  and  they  rushed  into  a  marriage 

michel  made  it  rly  big  a  couple  yrs  after  natalie  was  born  and  so  they  decided  to  use  that  $ $ $  to  send  natalie  away  to  an  expensive  boarding  school  in  london  called  our  lady  of  sacred  suffering .  it  was ,  of  course ,  a  catholic  girls  boarding  school  and  natalie  hated  it  there

but  they  hated  natalie  there  bc  she  was  just  the  WORST  catholic  school  girl  of  all  time ,  so  it  was  mutual

meanwhile ,  her  relationship  w  her  parents  is . .  very  complicated .  her  dad  is  just  kind  of  The  Worst  across  the  board ,  very  reliant  on  drinking ,  definitely  got  into  drug  use  at  some  point ,  had  lots  of  affairs  with  the  young  actresses  in  his  plays .  and  colette  was  just . .  very  sad  and  very  absent  so  the  support  was  Minimal

natalie  has  a  lot  of  issues  that  are  all  rooted  in  her  childhood  tbh .

somewhere  along  the  way ,  she  found  a  deep  passion  for  Writing  and  developed  this  sense  of  purpose  and  for  a  minute  things  were  going  very  well 

which  we  all  know  means  things  are  about  to  get  WORSE . 

on  her  eighteenth  birthday ,  natalie  receieves  a  card  in  the  mail  from  her  mother  for  the  First  Time  Ever .  and  she  immediately  is  like .  huh .  well .  something  is  Wrong .

she’s  right .

( tw :  nondescript  mentions  of  car  crashes  &  death )

a  week  later ,  she  receives  word  that  her  parents  were  involved  in  a  serious  car  accident  at  the  pont  de  l’alma  tunnel  in  paris  and  her  did  not  survive  the  accident .

( end  tw )

her  mother’s  family  is  not  convinced  that  michel  should  walk  away  from  this  without  blame  and  decides  to  take  legal  action  against  him  and  get  him  convicted  with  a  more  serious  charge  than  just  manslaughter . 

they  promise  to  keep  natalie  out  of  it  as  much  as  possible  but  when  it  comes  time  to  testify  as  to  whether  or  not  michel  had  a  history  of  not  caring  about  colette’s  life  and  well - being ,  the�� only  one  who  can  speak  to  it  is  natalie .

so  she  testifies  and  it’s  her  testimony  that  is  the  metaphorical  nail  in  the  coffin .  

( tw :  suicide  mention )

michel  knows  it ,  too .  that’s  what  natalie  thinks .  he  turns  up  dead  in  his  jail  cell  the  day  before  he’s  supposed  to  be  sentenced .  she  never  knows  if  he  deserved  the  life  sentence  he  was  going  to  be  given .

( end  tw ) 

so  then !  she’s  an  orphan !  but  she  does  gain  control  over  everything  that  her  parents  left  behind ,  which  turns  out  to  be  a  lot .  

she  sells  their  house  in  paris ,  goes  to  wales  to  begin  university ,  and  hasn’t  gone  back  since  then .  but  like ,  she  grew  up  in  london  for  the  most  part  so  she’s  not  exactly  sad  about  being  away  from  paris  and  all  the  ghosts  there .

and  now  she’s  at  sacred  heart ,  working  on  writing  her  debut  novel ,  which  is  the  ( albeit ,  dramatized  and  fictionalized )  story  of  her  parents !

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈𝐈 :  𝑨  𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑴𝑨𝑹𝒀 .

so  basically ,  she’s  got  issues .

fictional  character  inspo  includes :  jo  march ,  alaska  young ,  cheryl  blossom

if  you  know  anything  abt  astrology . .  she’s  an  aries  sun ,  mercury ,  and  venus . .  and  a  scorpio  moon  and  mars . .  and  a  gemini  rising . .  i’m  so  sorry JKDSFM

she’s  very  emotional  but  does  a  super  good  job  of  hiding  it  and  keeping  all  those  emotions  ( esp  the  intense  n  darker  ones )  buried  away . .  deep  down  where  no  one  could  see  it

the  minute  that  ppl  kind  of  ? ?  but  two  and  two  together  n  realize  who  she  is  ( bc . .  in  my  head . .  her  dad’s  whole  trial  was  kind  of .  A  Thing  that  the  public  knew  abt . )  they’re  probably  rly  concerned  w  Little  she  shows  any  real  emotion  to  the  whole  thing . 

rly  she’s  just  the  queen  of  compartmentalizing  n  repressing !

she’s  very . .  Assertive .  like ,  when  she  wants  something  she’s  going  to  do  whatever  it  takes  to  get  her  way  

very  Very  reckless .  she’s  like . .  so  fucking  impulsive  that  it  physically  Pains  me  sometimes .

she’s  very  smart  but  like .  More  So ,  she’s  very  clever  and  very  sharp  with  her  words .  a  very  fast  thinker  and  a  very  loud  talker 

someone  please . .  tell  her  to  stop  yelling .  she  needs  to  Relax . 

she’s  very  charming  i’ll  say  it .  n  like ?  seems  cool ?  the  kind  of  person  that  you  meet  and  immediately  want  to  hang  out  w  them .  

very  flirty ,  has  always  used  that  charming  smile  of  hers  to  get  ppl  in  her  corner  and  she’s  not  gonna  stop  now !  she’s  very  good  at  making  ppl  feel  special  

but  like .  she  means  well  most  of  the  time  sdkfj  her  heart  is  in  the  right  place  okay

big  time  trust  issues .  big  time  commitment  issues .  painfully  independent  and  refuses  to  let  anyone  know  how  much  she  cares  about  them  until  she’s  like . .  Really  sure  that  they  aren’t  going  to  hurt  her

also  very  afraid  of  hurting  people ,  which  is  another  reason  why  she  struggles  to  get  attached  to  people .  she  definitely  has  this  deep - rooted  fear  that  Bad  Things  follower  her  and  she  doesn’t  want  to  drag  ppl  into  that

it’s  literally  a  toss - up  as  to  whether  she’s  going  to  seem  like  she’s  demanding  ur  attention  or  entirely  disinterested  in  it .  bc  she’s  all  over  the  place . 

but  like .  i’m  an  emotional  BITCH  so  she’s  probably  going  to  end  up  being  100000%  softer  than  i  intend  bc  i  project  too  much  soft  bitch  energy  onto  my  characters  Always .

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈𝐈𝐈 :  𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺 .

so  many  things .  literally ,  anything .  just  a  disclaimer ,  if  u  read  thru  this  and  had  An  Idea  then  like .  yes  Pls  tell  me ,  i  want  it  xoxo 

but  here  are  some  i  have  up  in  the  old . .  noggin .

EXES .  please ,  please . .  for  the  love  of  GOD  give  me  some  angsty  exes  nonsense .  do  you  need  someone  who  broke  ur  characters  heart ?  consider  natalie  UR  GIRL .  she’s  Emotionally  Damaged  and  has  the  capacity  to  be  the  angstiest  ex  of  all  time ,  okay ?

give  her  a  weakness .  she  needs  someone  who  she’s  Actually  vulnerable  around  and  actually  sees  her  have  emotions  and  knows  she’s  not  just  this  huge  Mess  all  the  time

i  rly  want  someone  that  is  like .  from  the  same  ( ish )  bg  as  her  in  the  sense  that  like . .  they  also  were  surrounded  by  nice  clothes  n   expensive  private  schools  n  Luxury  but  like .  they  Thrive  in  it  the  way  natalie  used  to  wish  that  she  could .  n  just .  i  think  it  would  b  a  super  interesting  dynamic  bc  they  would  just !  clash !  so  intensely ! !  n  tbh  nat  would  probably  b  lowkey  jealous  Still  n .  spicy !

@ all  those  ppl  who  are  into  theatre :  i’m  Dying  for  some  connections  of  ppl  who  knew / knew  of  her  father  n  would  know  what  happened  w  him  perhaps  on  a  deeper  level  than  ppl  who  read  it  in  the  newspaper  a  few  yrs  ago . .  ( bonus  points  if  they  lowkey  idolized / looked  up  to  her  dad  bc  thats  a  Big  Mess  and  could  b  spicy  as  fuck  to  explore ,  u know ? ) 

idk  if  any  of  y’all  have  characters  who  grew  up  in / around  paris ?  but  if  there  are . .  then  Perhaps  someone  who  knew  her  in  her  youth ?

okay .  not  to  be  Trash  but  like .  i  rly  want  her  to  have  a  dynamic  that’s  jo  x  laurie  adjacent ?  do  they  have  to  be  in  love  w  her ?  no !  i  just  want someone  that  has  that  genuine  bond  w  her  and  they  care  abt  each  other  n  goof  around  n  like . .  i’m  already  getting  soft  on  main ,  huh , ,

she’s  soo  fucking  messy  that  like . .  all  the  messy  fwb / frenemies  with  benefits / one  night  stand  type  of  plots . .  yes  pls 

i  always  want  there  to  b  a  badass  girl  squad  like .  a  group  of  ladies  n  theydies  that  take  no  shit  n  get  in  fights  for  each  other  n  rly  truly  ride  or  die  w  each  other . .  we  can  workshop  the  name  ok  but  for  now ?  my  girl  squad  is  open  for  applications 

okay .  let  me  cut  myself  off  right  there  but  i’ll  leave  you  with  my  WANTED  CONNECTIONS  TAG  n  also  again  i’m 10000%  okay  to  just  brainstorm  out  something  else  completely  if  its  what  ur  feeling !

if  u  read  all / any  of  this . .  i  love  u . <3  either hmu on discord ( let's go 𝓁𝑒𝓈𝒷𝒾𝒶𝓃𝓈 ! #6227 ) ksdjfskm  OR !  like  this  n  i  will  come  to  u !  okay ,  that’s  all ,  bye 

[m00kieblaylock]

Please enjoy my personal essay on why Hozier has ruined me for all potential men.

Okay so I need to get this off my chest because I realised something last night and I have been overthinking myself into panic attacks ever since.

So, I’m 25 and have no experience in relationships, I go back on forth on being terrified and wanting to try dating. It’s not like I’m not interested in the male species because there’s definitely an attraction there, but theres just also a whole lot of self-doubt and bullshit in my own way. But I do think about it and have my whole post puberty life.

I have always found the idea of ‘types’ kind of ridiculous, like having a list of the exact person that you’re looking for. It is reductive and shallow and I don’t think it’s helpful to make your way around the world looking for someone to fit into such a specific mould that you ignore negative behaviour or turn away good people. Plus, I am such an emotional and intense person that there are so many little and specific things that I find attractive in people, I couldn’t possibly have a list that long of things that a person needs to fulfil for me to love them. It’s scientifically impossible, right? 

In saying that, I have known that I find males very attractive since maybe ago 5? So over my life, like all people you build up things that make you feel giddy and tingly and smiley and you just generally appreciate in another human. So, to be totally shallow and make that list, of the person in the idealist of ideal worlds and fully surrendering to the fact that it makes me the most basic bitch alive - Fuck it man. Here is my list of my perfect partner.

- Tall - something evolutionary here I think.

- Irish or Scottish - something so visceral to my person has the most intense feelings to these accents. 

- Green/Blue/Hazel eyes - basic, I know.

- Bit of a nerd. Intelligence with passion not pretension is the greatest possible attribute a person can have.

- Good sense of humour, doesn’t take themselves too seriously. Good smile and laugh goes with this too.

- Caring, kind and compassionate - doesn’t discriminate in this. Cares for those everywhere. Racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, ableism and just general asshole or apathetic to others lives and suffering is my number 1 deal breaker. Someone who is aware of the world and who is genuinely caring. Just a good dude.

- Loves dogs. Again probably a deal breaker.

- Feminist values - and outspoken about it. Although they can set their ego aside to make room for women in public spaces.

- Politically minded and vocal about the things they care about.

- Long hair. Especially curls. Drives me insane on pretty much any human.

- Loves the cold. Men in jumpers, jackets and scarves are my incredibly specific favourite thing in the whole world.

- Nice brows - bonus if they have nice lashes.

- Nice hands

- Loves music. Especially if we have a lot of tastes in common. Overall, just having a passion for music is such a bonus. Another massive bonus but would never be a must is musical and vocal talent - it’s just hot let’s be honest.

- Good to their Mama.

- Would be good and kind to me. When you have a physical disability and anxiety - this is pretty important. I’ve had friends that have this is spades. Helpful, kind and make me feel comfortable around them and good about myself. It’s one of those things that I recognise in good people often. And it makes me gun shy to date because that is something I’ve seen in people but would have to be on a different level in a partner.

So, that’s it. Thats probably the most extensive and specific list I could write. When I meet people, if I’ve ever gotten a vibe or felt something, obviously I would never expect someone to fill all elements. Humans don’t generally work like that. 

THEN IN WALKS THE BIGGEST FUCKING BABE I’VE EVER SEEN.

So, I’ve listened to and loved his first album pretty casually the last few years but didn’t know a whole lot about him. I love my music probably more than anything on the planet, it is the greatest thing we have on this God forsaken hole. I take it quite seriously. So I’m fucking around on Spotify 3-4 weeks ago, finding new songs I love as you do. Then Hozier comes on, I think to myself, “Oh I haven’t listened to him in a while. Been meaning to check out that new album. I do like his voice quite a bit.’ So, naturally I turn to the internet and start the old stalking ritual when you find something new that makes you feel something. Next thing I know, I’m falling in love - I had no idea I had been missing out on this human for YEARS. 

Then last night I fully realise why I’m feeling something so intense. HE LITERALLY CHECKS EVERY WONDERFUL THING ABOUT HUMANS I COULD LOVE. Every. Single. One. Like, I’ve heard him pronounce my last name - so many people mispronounce it but he didn’t. And my name is Molly - Nobody?

Even a few little things that are so specific I couldn’t even make it up. Like is this an alternative universe? Am I dreaming? Am I dead? Maybe. Just maybe. I might just be insane. Probable.

- I have a strong personal connection to the name Andrew. My uncle’s name was Andrew and he passed away when I was a little girl so I never got to know him. But he was my mother’s brother and best friend so has always been present in my everyday life. It is a deep pain I feel because I know we would’ve been really close. Even though I don’t remember him I know that I love him a lot and his memory and how I live my life is affected by who he was. I’ve always had thoughts and imaginations of someone special with that name being in my life.

- I feel an intense attachment to Ireland. Most of my family is from there and it’s number one on my bucket list.

- I was always an English nerd at school. I took all English, Literature and writing/language subjects at school because I just love words, writing and poetry so much. I love the way people can use so few perfectly chosen words to convey emotion so beautifully.

- The Blues Brother is in my top 3 favourite movies of all time. My brother and I used to watch it all the time as kids because it was something we both loved. He loved the humour and car chases - I loved the music most. So much so, that Elwood is on my list of names if I have children - I saw an interview the other day and that’s his dogs name? What the fuck man, honestly. 

I fully understand that no one will read this. I know this is the incredibly weird, probably too personal, and outlandish rant of an insane woman. But in summary, I just love that an incredible man like Andrew Hozier-Byrne exists. I am so grateful for the stunning music he has created, the intellectual and political stimulation I have had from watching him speak. I am so grateful that someone is out there fighting for what they believe in so gracefully and giving me serious faith in humanity. I have felt less depressed, less anxious and overly more productive lately - I think that it could be connected.

Okay, glad I got that out of my system. lol

[wrestlingchatter]

Royal Quest Update ❤️

Hi guys!

I’m back from London and Royal Quest and damn I’ve got a lot to say and if you follow me on Twitter (Wrestling_Chat) you will know why!

First of all, if anyone on here is the amazing person called Ilene/Arlene or the woman with her (whose name I didn’t catch) who I met at the meet and greet yesterday and made my year by gifting me a Jay White meet and greet, please can you contact me some way please! 

So anyway, turns out, the hotel I was staying at this weekend was home to the NJPW wrestlers. I walked in for check in and in front of me was Rocky Romero and Robbie Eagles who were more than nice enough to take a picture with me and Rocky signed my RPG 3k artwork. Then, looking into the restaurant, I saw a few more and within 5 minutes, I’d also met Yujiro Takahashi, Taiji Ishimori and only bloody Ren Narita and Shota Umino! Then, in the evening, as I sat with my mum, I saw Tanga Loa and Tama Tonga who were also just so sweet and were okay with pictures. Bless Tanga Loa trying to say my name, it’s not easy and he did so well!

I’d also been speaking to Chase Owens on Twitter because I was sad he wasnt on the meet and greet and he said we could meet anyway, without even knowing we were at the same hotel. He told me a time and stuck to it (which was lucky because me and my mum were having a drink at the bar) and we just chatted for a bit about his time in London and things like that. He signed my art and was just the sweetest thing in the world and so nice, polite and genuine (worlds away from NJPW Chase Owens as my mum said).

On the day of the show, it just seemed to get better and better - I started off at breakfast meeting the legend that is Red Shoes Unno who really appreciated my attempts at Japanese and then Sanada and Taguchi. THEN, on the way to the meet and greet, I finally met Sho and Yoh who were so nice and signed all of my RPG artwork - also they really speak amazing English so thats a little insight!

However, the highlights had to be the meet and greet. Meeting Tanahashi was beyond bizarre but he so nice. He loved the artwork I did and signed it as well as just asking me general questions about my trip. I told him he was going to win and if you watched the show, I think I was his lucky charm. Naito was also so sweet. I spoke a bit of Japanese and he asked if I’d ever been. Then, when he saw my Naito artwork, he asked if I was a professional? It was crazy.

Yet, meeting Jay White was the best part of the weekend. For any of you who didn’t know, I had no idea that would happen. I paid to see Tana and Naito because I don’t have much money and I hadn’t met them. But these lovely women gave me an opportunity. What was crazier was, even before I told Jay my name, he recognised me and even remembered the art I got him to sign last year. I made sure not to cry but, as we ended yet another meet and greet that was beyond my wildest dreams, the hug nearly set me off. I was worried that, if I ever met him again, it wouldn’t match up to the first time but it did. It was better than I could have ever imagined!

That’s a bit of an update without even talking about the show! I’ll be writing a blog with a bit more detail and maybe an individual tumblr post about meeting Jay, but I hope this is a nice intro. Photos also on the way!

As I said before, if you were the 2 girls who gave me the gift of a lifetime, please get in contact with me because I know you said you had some pictures of me meeting Naito too but mainly I want to thank you again!

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)

“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”

“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”

Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.

“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”

“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”

“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”

“i just hope miku’s okay...”

“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”

“please stop breathing”

Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS

XYLOPHONE RIFF

THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT

XYLOPHONE RIFF

“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”

“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”

“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”

“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”

In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.

> Tsubasa has joined the party.

“FRIENDSHIP!”

“fweindship.”

“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”

“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”

“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”

Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.

Meanwhile, at night.

Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.

“.........................hey miku......”

“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”

“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”

“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”

“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”

They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.

Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...

Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.

“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”

“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”

“wait, whats that crying”

Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.

“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”

Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.

But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.

The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.

“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”

Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.

“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”

The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.

Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...

...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.

“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”

“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”

“maybe we’re born with it”

“maybe its maybeline”

“maybeline...”

Meanwhile...

A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)

“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”

“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”

“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”

“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”

“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”

“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”

“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”

Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.

No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.

In the midst of this pain...

Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.

“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”

“damn. that’s some good piss.”

She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?

Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...

Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.

Back to Lydian:

“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”

“B. A. D.”

“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”

“yeah. you are.”

“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”

“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”

“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”

“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”

Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.

“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”

The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.

Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.

PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.

“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”

“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”

They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...

“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”

“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”

“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”

It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.

But no, instead, we get this.

Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.

The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.

Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.

The main antagonist of the series, everybody.

She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:

“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”

“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”

“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”

“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”

“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”

“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”

“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”

“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”

“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”

“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”

“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”

“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”

“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”

“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”

“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”

“LEAVE.”

“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”

[mermain123]

Chat Noir has been useful

WARNING LONG post

I’ve been seeing people saying recently that Chat noir has been useless, a sidekick, or that any hero could do his job.

keep in mind this does in no way reflect my actual thoughts on said episodes covered.

Also i am only counting Chat’s attacks if they seemed effective. If the Akuma just bounces off his attack then i won’t count it.

Season 1

Stormy weather: his night vision was important to getting through the building and his cataclysm brought the board down

bubbler: chat was integral to getting outta the bubble. it clearly wasn’t going to break without magic so cataclysm was needed

Lady Wi-fi: cataclysm needed to jam the signal

Timebreaker: saved LB and kept the 2 timebreakers from transporting back in time by destroying the pillar

Evilistrator: even though it was marinette’s idea on how to get out. chat was the only one who was able to the the 2 out of the box

Rogercop: took out an army of police men on his own and trapped rogercop allowing LB to get the akuma

Copycat: sent copycat flying after being freed from the chains. got the akumatized item out of Copycat’s pocket.

Dark Cupid: protected LB from Dark cupid. Grabbed the akumatized item for LB.

Horrificator: trapped horrificator

Darkblade: managed to hold his own against Darkblade and his night army several times for several minutes

Kung Food: desroyed the bag all the weapons came from while LB kept him tied up

Gamer: saved Marinette from the gamer last second. knew exactly how to control the catbug bot with LB and would have destroyed the bot too if max hadn’t used a save scum

Animan: realized when Animan was coming back, made the bus short out and had him trapped till he transformed into something they didn’t even know he could do and was about ready to kill that dino when it seemed he ate LB

Antibug: figured out where Vanisher was and stopped her before she grabbed LB’s earring. held on his own twice for a bit against Antibug and figured out where the akuma was. spread the marbles everywhere and got rid of the giant sword at the same time. trapped Antibug so LB could get to her earrings.

Puppeteer: destroyed the satelite on Marinette’s roof disabling Lady-Wifi’s powers and freeing LB

Reflekta: used the fact that he was transformed to his advantage and kept LB from transforming

Pixelator: would have gotten Pixelator’s akuma if it weren’t for an overeager theo. still saved everyone still trapped with cataclysm.

Princess Fragrence: got prince Ali, his assitant, and chloe all to safety away from Princess Fragrence. even when mind controlled he was able to glitch out the fireworks machine and destroyes the giant perfume cloud with his cataclysm

Simon Says: shorted out the elevator getting rid of the gorrilla. used cataclysm on the card deck freeing the akuma

Volpina: Helped destroy the illusion of adrien keeping LB from removing her miraculous and used cataclysm to trap volpina

Origins part 1: saved Kim from Stoneheart, saved Alya from being crushed by a soccer (or football since it’s french) net

Origins part 2: saved Alya from being crushed by a car. saved Ivan from falling off the Eiffel tower

ALL OF THAT was from Season 1. now for season 2.

Season 2

Collector: used cataclysm on the shelf and got all those CDs needed for LB to shoot at Collector

Despair Bear: tripped up kim getting despair bear off him and preventing him from attacking (then latching on) to LB. destroyed the table before despair bear could make ivan throw it.

Prime Queen: convinced LB that the only way to save Chloe is to got through the screen even though the chances of it being a trap are high. broke the akumatized object and used cataclysm the door letting them get out of the cold storage.

Befana: distracted befana from shooting at marinette saved Marinette and got her away from befana and hid her away giving her a chance to transform. (even comforted her making sure to let her know he’ll save her grandma too. thats a genuinely sweet moment). tripped up befana and her faeries. destroyed the fire hydrant letting the water gush for LBs plan.

Riposte: while INJURED he rushed to LB’s side and stopped Riposte from cutting her in half. blocked Riposte’s sword with the radiator while letting his belt tail be used to take away her sword. all the while doing flips and leaps WITH AN INJURED ANKLE (I can testify an injured ankle HURTS)

Robustus: destroyed several machines with one hit each and could probably do more. translated morse code to let LB know just what the electronics goal was. DESTROYED ROBUSTUS’S SUPER MECHA BODY. also allowing access to the Lucky charm. saved Max from falling. destroyed the harp letting the strings fall on Robustus and tangling his propeller’s up.

Gigantitan: distracted Gigantitan from chasing the girls by ringing his bell. distracted Gigantitan and led him away from everyone else. got LB outta reach from Gigantitan. when the akuma was distracted and about to cry he brought it’s attention back by honking a car horn. got back Gigantitan’s attention with his bell when it was crying due to a lack of lollipop

Dark Owl: rescued falling kitten. distracted the dark owl while LB scoped out the situation and tried to locate the akuma. freed himself and LB from the grappling hook. broke them out of the prison dark owl put them in. fought and pinned down Dark Owl.

Glaciator: his baton helped stop the bus. he saved marinette from turning into ice cream. cut glaciator’s legs in half making him trip. used his baton as a propeller.

Sapotis: got rid of several sapotis. held his own against a never ending supply of sapotis for a long time. (enough for LB’s timer to run out, get the fox miraculous, retransform, find alya and give her the miraculous, and for them to find him) destroyed all the sapotis hats at once. took ella and etta home.

Gorizilla: used cataclysm in the ground to trap gorizilla. (he wasn’t exactly CN very long this episode but he was helpful)

Captain Hardrock: Chat helped chain up Captain hardrock. He used cataclysm to destroy the boat and freed the akuma.

Zomibiezou: created the zipline for the class. distracted a  bunch of the zombies away from chloe and rose. drives the bus away. carried chloe while she was injured. sacrafices and blocks himself from all the zombies.

Syren: lured the panthers to a spot where Rena could use her mirage to get them into the van. caught LB after being tossed by syren. fought off syren while LB talked to kim. activated the airbags stopping syren and allowing him and LB to trap her. pulled syren outta the water onto land rendering her powerless

Frightingale: tripped Frightingale up. used cataclysm on her whip.

Troublemaker: heard troublemaker coming and pulled the matress up blocking her attack. tripped up LB, making sure Troublemaker can’t get her earrings, and knocked the pen away. charged at Trouble maker getting her off LB. used Cataclysm on the pen

Reverser: charged and attacked Reverser when he was about to reach for Lb’s earrings. pulled LB through the water when she couldn’t swim and helped her up. used Cataclysm to destroy reverser’s ship. Saved Marc.

Anansi: stopped the ferris wheel. Got LB away from the car flying at them. activated Catclysm to protect his ring. used Cataclysm on the helmet.

Sandboy: saved Lb from falling without her powers. forced Sandboy and fake LB to crash into each other. protected Lb the whole time her powers were useless. helped destroy the akumatized item.

skipping Style Queen for obvious reasons.

Queen Wasp: helped stop the train. grabbed hold of queen wasp while LB pulled her into the Seine. used Cataclysm on the bee miraculous getting rid of the akuma. Comforted Chloe after her mother insulted her on live TV.

Malediktator: got rid of a bunch guards while thinking he was just a cat, allowing LB and Queen B to get to Malediktator.

Frozer: saved LB from being attacked by Frozer. Used Cataclysm on Frozer’s skates thus releasing the akuma.

skipping Catalyst since it’s an unfinished 2 parter that’s not aired in english yet.

As you can see Chat has helped IMMENSELY throughout the series. He’s been very useful. Is this enough for you all to see how helpful he is?

[bbhyuckie]

jaehyun x reader

librarian! au

genre: fluff

words: 1.7k

warnings: realistic portrayals of college life lol

ive said before that im being self indulgent with posts

but this is really it

im really out here writing this

lets get into this mess

so youre studying right

and you yourself do not have a laptop of your own

bc welcome to being a broke college kid im calling myself out

so you decide that youre gonna go to the library on campus bc sis,, cash in on the tuition money ok

so you go and youre like wow hahahaha i dont have a library card better sign up for one

so you go to the desk and theres no one there

just your luck really

you decide to wander around a little to see if theres anyone who can help you

and low and behold you stumble across someone

this young man knelt down by a shelf with a book rack next to him just humming softly and organizing books

and you catch his attention by clearing your throat slightly

he looks up and his eyes are big over the rims of his wire framed glasses that are clinging to the tip of his round button nose

and his hair is a little mussed from being bent down

but holy hell

youve read enough novels to know that this must be exactly what the characters are talking about when they say things like ‘love at first sight’

“sorry” he says as he standcs and brushes himself off “can i help you with anything?”

starstruck really

you manage to stutter out something about needing to register for a library card and he smiles so kindly it makes u want to melt

“sure!’ he says, motioning for you to follow him back up to the desk

is this what a trance feels like???

he asks you a few basic questions, like your name, your age, and what building your dorm is in so he can put it all on your new nifty library card

and then he turns around this lil webcam on top of his computer and asks you to stand in front of it and smile

and you do, awkwardly

and as hes looking down at the computer counting “3, 2, 1” he has this smile on his face like hes trying to hide it

and if that didnt make ur heart jump you dont know what ever would holy

so he prints off your card as youre still trying to recover from being in the presence of an angel

and he hands it to you and smiles

“library hours are 8 am to 12 am every day, but on the weekends i’m the one that closes. which means if you ever need some extra time to finish that essay you pushed off,,, i wont tell anyone”

aND HE W I NK S

and not lot a hot wink

but a cute?? wink??? if thats possible

like you have a secret with him now and its safe

you wonder absently as you stare down at the black and white picture of yourself on the back of your new card if he tells everyone about him closing on the weekends

and if he doesnt does that make you special???/

you smile and thank him again, maybe a little more confidently than before and head for the door

you realise as youre halfway out that you came here to study on the computers but you really need some time to sit down and process the fact that you just say an actual angel

you can do your math homework on your phone for one more night if it means you can turn down your body heat from screaming blushing mess to slightly embarrassed rosy cheeks

the next time you get a chance to run by the library on campus, it just so happens to be sunday

you catch yourself wondering if dream boy meant friday and saturday or saturday and sunday when he said weekends

thats not important right now

what is important is that you have actual business to do in the library today

and that business is to pick up hamlet for your english class

you check in and someone else is at the front desk

you try not to let yourself feel disappointed

i mean you met him once for christs sake

the guy at the front is equally as attractive as dream boy from the previous week, but a little more relaxed to talk to since he isnt giving you any flirty subtones

the kid is all business really

he tells you that his name is doyoung if you need anything else

you ask how he got the job there, out of curiousity

because really, both of the librarians youve encountered seem pretty young for the standard librarian stereotype

doyoung explains that its a work-study job, so nearly all the people that work there are students at the university and work in between classes or on their off days to make some extra cash or pay off some tuition

and you can get behind that!!

so doyoung is cool and you decide you can go to him to ask questions instead

because while dream boy is a dream boy with pretty cheekbones and nice lips and a smooth voice and a good sense of style and a great height without insoles and looks great with glasses and has the most captivating eyes

hes a lil distracting lol

anyway you find yourself in the shakespearean section

and you grab a hamlet off the shelf and head back up to the front to have doyoung check the book out to you

and as hes handing you the book back you get a classroom notification saying that, despite common belief, the book rental wasnt due by tomorrow, but the whole book reading is due by tomorrow

you wonder how the fuck professors get away with shit like this and then you remember that you didnt bother to read the syllabus so you cant really get too mad at anyone but yourself

so you find a table that looks like it has the comfiest chairs and cozy up for a long evening of reading and annotating

(depending on who you are you either love or hate hamlet, either way it is exhausting to annotate anything from that man so bear with me ok)

five hours later and ⅔ of the annotations later it is 11:56pm

and you havent noticed

you hadnt noticed much of anything happening in the real world after you popped in a headphone and started reading about guards seeing a ghost

that is until someone plops down in the seat in front of you and asks

“so what are you studying”

and you look up, a little delayed because youre finishing a notation

only to find that its dream boy

and your brain blanks for a sec bc wow every time you see him its kinda like?? ouch???? my heart bro

so you just kind of shake your head and mutter some “im not really sure anymore”

and theres some truth to that!! first there were ghosts and now theres dead girlfriends dads and dead girlfriends and talking about a skull in a graveyard

that play is really a wild ride brother

and dream boy sits there and laughs, wholesomely

you could die happy

“yeah i get that” he says, rubbing the back of his neck

theres a pause that carries on a bit too long

“wanna hear a dumb joke?” he asks suddenly

you smile then, partially out of exhaustion and partially because wow?? cutie

“sure” you say

“okay. what do you call a nervous javelin thrower?”

you pause for a sec bc wtf

“dunno. what do you call them?”

he flashes this cute fucking grin that you know is supposed to be slick but just comes off as wholesome and says

“shakespeare”

and you shouldve seen that coming wow

and its so dumb that you actually??? giggle????? and that turns into a laugh??

youre probably just exhausted from annotations but maybe that was actually funny

and his smile softens like hes made progress on something

“y/n, right? i dont think i ever actually introduced myself. i’m jaehyun”

he smiles and reaches across the tabe and you take his hand

its warm and strong and you try not to think about it too hard

“well, y/n, library loses here in another two minutes or so.”

he sees the look on your face fall

“but never fear!” he leans forward and lowers his voice

you hold your breath

“i told ya you could stay, didnt i?”

his smile is closed lipped and cute and genuine

before you can say anything hes up and ushering the last few people out of the library, telling them good night and good luck with their classes tomorrow

youre kind of caught in a brain dead daze after finally being pulled from your studying to watching this cute librarian named jaehyun bustle around and lock doors and turn off lights

and when he finally gets back to you he clicks on the lamp on the table youre working at and sets a cup of coffee in front of you

he mustve made it as you were falling asleep with your eyes open

you thank him copiously before asking

“i thought you let everyone stay after hours when you closed”

he looks up over the rim of his mug with a surprised look in his eyes

he shakes his head as swallows the clearly too hot coffee

“not at all. most of the time i kick them out and study by myself.”

he blushes like its a confession and it makes you feel,,,, something

but you dont want to press

so you just reach out and offer your other headphone to him because if you dont know what to say then you can both enjoy some good study music

so he pulls out his homework for the night and the two of you sit there and study

you sip off your coffee occasionally and both of you nod your heads to the music playing in your ears

he hums along to the ones he knows and a thought skips across your mind

you could get used to this

(theres a 100000% chance there will be a part two to this)

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Suspiria remake review from a shitty movie-goer

(this review is posted too late so excuse me for some timing inaccuracies I couldn’t be arsed to edit)

(IF YOU HATE TL;DRS JUST SKIP AHEAD TO THE “THE REVIEW” PART. YOU’RE WELCOME)

I actually hate to admit why was I interested to watch this movie in the end, but for once SOMETHING motivated me to go to a movie after countless tries from my family to get me to watch something in theatres at a “reasonable time” (daytime is what they mean, this movie was at 8pm our time, and this is when the cross-city bus transport (it goes from one big city to another) stops doing their service lmao).

I myself have a lowkey interest in moviemaking (I’m already getting there by editing my phone-recorded videos because whatever). I come up with my concepts in my head and I am mostly willing to put them down somewhere in my computer so I don’t forget it years later if I want to make that concept a thing in the end (because none of my concepts are finalized... well except for one short horror-ish story I posted on DeviantArt (see mom, I do like some horror stuff!). Reddit as of lately inspired me to edit some of my movie’s plot-lines based on irl events (not related with anything too SJW), and I’m not sure how an usual movie-goer would see this concept but I am going to try to execute it... whenever I have enough equipment to shoot my own little films or skits or whatever.

What’s that? There are people who scrolled past this and already yell at me that “YOU ONLY WENT TO SEE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE OF THE MAN WHO COMPOSED THE SOUNDTRACK~~~”? Ugh yes you exposed me, tea all over. I even had “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” on a bit of a repeat as of lately (how fucking come I wasn’t too couragerous to listen to this song before?? And “Pyramid Song”??? Man am I discovering their pearl(ie)s(*) too late). And I’m occasionally on the band’s subreddit as well. And the man himself is touring ‘round the USA, signing material of fans and have genuinely warm chats with them. Admireable.

But that’s only half truth.

I never thought I’d see Suspiria on cinema theatres in here. Until one time when I saw an ad on a completely random Lithuanian website that said this movie is coming to our theatres 14 December... I couldn’t quite believe my eyes. I made my goal to see Suspiria since then. I even dared to ask a couple of my new college ‘friends’ to see it with me, but one of them fell off the deal when I revealed that I’ll be going to see it on Saturday, and on the weekends he’s usually at home, far away from the city the college is in (he lives in college dormitory on mostly the work-weekdays). So my only movie companion ended up to be this 28-year-old coursemate (actually we both study different things but sometimes we attend some of the same lectures) who was intrigued by the Suspiria trailer herself so at least I’m gonna have her by my side of the movie, so I thought. Sweet.

I already envisioned seeing this in a mall cinema theatre but my companion offered me a cheaper alternative - her suggested cinema theatre was actually in renovation so the business is temporarily happening inside an actual drama theatre’s long theatre hall. I had to wait long until the ticket box opened and because of that I was lowkey frustrated as I finished my English test writing a little earlier, so I spent my time walking around the city until the time came and I wandered off to the old building of the cinema so then I remembered it was moved and I found the moved place. Yeah I bought the tickets before my companion could but I’ll skip ahead to the time that I almost lost the tickets because they were put down on a windowsill outside some children activity centre (Suspiria and children?? lol). I came back home late at night and was ready for the movie to happen the next day. Oh and before buying the tickets I coincidentally saw dance classes going on nearby that building... weird, as Suspiria has dance elements in there

The day came (December 15) and my family went together with me because they saw this as an opportunity to see the Christmas tree of our city (but not the movie). Needless to say, they were still visibly pissed at me orchestrating this idea, as I planned everything BUT the transport to go by. Well at least my mom and my sis. Dad was cool with it as he returned home to watch Home Alone. Aside all that, the cinema hall was cozy, Christmassy, not too small, there were a few trailers before the movie, no snack-seller places (as this is not a mall lol) - my companion was glad she wasn't at the mall as she found this place where we were at way lovelier.

Now with all that unnecessary long intro off my chest, let’s begin:

THE REVIEW

(definitely not spoiler-free, if you are sensitive to spoilers please watch the movie for yourselves before reading my review. But if you like being spoiled, I’m your friend then I guess lmao)

The intro to the movie felt like I ended up booking a wrong movie - I didn't expect that to be set somewhere in Germany, especially an American/Italian-shot one. Was that a thing in the original Suspiria? I don't know... (apparently it is, but the cities are different, never the country though)

Patricia (I didn’t know it was Chloë Grace’s role until reading the Wiki) looked like to be a really big deal here, with the dance pupils discussing her disappearance the other day and Susie overheard them, then Sara mentioned the Patricia thing to Susie after Susie revealed she was kind of chosen as the lead dancer for the Volk play... is it because Patricia was THE saviour that unfortunately knew a little too much?? Idk, it’s perhaps the reason we get to see the Klemperer guy subplot happen (I didn’t know it was Tilda Swinton behind him all the time either, must be because the way the male German accent was put on her lol). Turned out she was captured and kept under some dungeon where Sara had gone later in the movie, but looking like an almost melted and grotesquely old human being (or if Mary’s mother from “Chocolate with Nuts” was a person). Speaking of which, there is one more later in the movie, but I won’t tell just yet - we will need to get into such scenes discussion first.

Interesting deaths here, despite of them being grotesque and horrifically detailed. It almost felt like Susie, whilst doing her first dance as the probable lead dancer, temporarily turned into Olga’s voodoo doll or a violent bloodbender (that old lady from Avatar that could bloodbend was incredibly uncanny, damn) and left Olga completely fucked up, and the foam mouth later on... is this the effect myxomatosis has on a human being if it was ever humanly? She was twitching and salivating afterall. :P But no, she’s not dead until she gets to plead her death later in the movie! :O Several others occur throughout, but none is more prominent than this key scene I described, well at least according to TV Tropes.

The search for the evil person in this movie without Wiki helping me much was definitely a nice game for me to play. I kept thinking that Blanc might be that one, then I thought she’s not the one until she looked at Carolina (I think that was the tall tomboy’s name??) suspiciously and then she later passed out on the floor violently, with rabies foam and everything.

Anyway, don’t tell me Tilda Swinton wouldn’t make out a pretty good Thom Yorke post-Pablo Honey. She’s 8 years older than him, ffs! Also played a man before (e.g.: this movie I’m talking about) so the make up won’t be an unjumpable-over hurdle.

The sighs were for sure unsettling, especially because they oddly sounded like orgasm here and there. IDK why. I know fucking is referenced twice in this movie (well only fucking once and sex another time). Speaking of random things, the nightmare shots were completely random themselves, following up with some imagery we never see in the movie again, and some of that we see only a little (like the worms and bloody organs).

3 long scenes that were note-worthy for me. One is the Olga mutilation/Susie's first dancing scene that I already noted, and it was driven by music (the others will be too. Soundtrack of this movie still rules). Then there's the Volk play itself - girls go from one place to another, take poses of each other, dance individually, let their minimalistic red rope dresses flick in the air, interspersed with Sara in the underneath area and her broken leg (so broken, the bone went out of her skin!), and then the matriarchy getting her back on stage, but healing her leg with her witch powers before that. I haven't really listened to the rest of the soundtrack but I gotta check the song out so that I won't end up labeling it as a Kid A reject. No but seriously - intense dancing needed some intense drumming and painful instrument sounds just to project out the massiveness of the whole play.

Then I keep remembering the scene where Madame Blanc commands Susie to jump higher and higher in the mirror hall, up until she jumps as highest as possible. Also my companion’s favourite scene was the stare exchange between these two ladies during the part where people were singing some drinking song in a bar to celebrate ‘Volk’’s success - you hear them singing and then some chilling background noise slowly mixing and creeping its way into the atmosphere, then I think it leads into a scene where some sparkling aura entity wakes Susie up (and she’s nude) in the middle of the night and gets her to go down to this... dungeon orgy full of random stuff going on, complete with an Asian man doing something beyond explanation (I could say lewd but not quite), even more strange ritual dancing and the very much frightening Madame Helga... who looked like Jabba the Hutt for some reason. And then of course everyone slitting, slashing and twisting each other, and by the end Susie throwing us all a plot twist which makes her THE evil one who can finally let her ‘friends’ go of all that suffering they have been through thanks to the damn witches (and yeah apparently her dance friends haven’t completely died? THAT’S how they do - they tell Susie to end their suffering and she does). Also she cracks her chest open to reveal a... very graphic part of a female body that will by no doubt get this whole text review reported without consent so I refrain from any illustrations. Oh and this scene mostly has the possibly favourite this movie’s soundtrack song of mine, if not one of them, play - titled Unmade. It was a mind-boggling decision to do so but the movie editors do them I suppose, but still. I felt sad for the song having to be the background of such absurd but fair enough events? (Oh and I didn’t mention that everyone who voted for the other woman than Madame Blanc to be the leader of the witches (iirc) were rid of in this movie. Damn.)

Oh and the ending is rather an interesting detail, not talking about post-credits because as always I have to be this one movie goer who wants to do it but can’t because they’re urged to go back out of the movie theater. We turn into modern day Germany with a love heart carved on a brick wall with the letters A and L (perhaps?? at the time of finishing this review my memory towards it kind of erased some parts of the movie for me), a nice little remembrance of Lutz’s (the old man’s) love for his dear Anke, with which they have reunited during the movie, but Lutz was dragged out by some people related to the dance academy for probably wandering elsewhere than needed and somehow Lutz ended up as one of the sex dungeon victims, stripped of clothing and lying down quite powerless. That and before the modern day shot we are subjected with Lutz in hospital with Susie coming to visit, they discuss something related to the plot, Susie touches the guy speaks some more, leaves and according to the Wiki, Lutz “suffers from a violent seizure” that was nothing more than just a hard seizure. And it even erases his memories!

Anyway, as a whole, I felt more underwhelmed of this movie’s experience despite really wanting to see it. Like, “uhm yeah gore blood people getting slashed everyone’s a witch and everyone’s watched over by the witch and if you expose the witches you die” kind of underwhelmed. I didn’t want this movie to blatantly go through my head, but it did, that’s why I wanted to make notes everytime something notable happens. There was one startling moment, and it just was an innocent scene transition. And something within Olga’s mutilation scene made me chuckle (and made some other people leave the cinema hall ASAP). It’s more of a disgusting watch than scary. Also feels too dragged out in parts.

I’d only recommend it if you are gore-tolerant (there are people that can’t stand looking at blood so this might as well not be for you, especially if you’re younger than 16), like intense choreos that can impact other people literally, and... the soundtrack. Yes of course. If you dare to get through the movie with feeling its soundtrack, sometimes you might as well feel it right, but some of the soundtrack song usages might as well make you go “hmm” as much as me.

I'll remind myself to never watch a movie in theaters for soundtrack again (unless they're not THAT late). And the other 'trilogy of the three witches' movie remakes, especially if they come out at the time I haven't moved houses by now, because for sure as hell will my parents not like me going to cinema late once more. The movie is lowkey 7 out of 10 for me, can sometimes it's on the verge of falling down to 6 becaude of no completely proper comprehension of some directing choices... so 6.7/10 is good - as it still has 6 in it, but totally leans on to the 7.

Will probably watch it again. I need to remember some more of this movie sometime later. And looking for online uploads of this movie is unrecommendable - I'll wait until Lionsgate distributes it to America for wider audiences so that anything could surface 2 months (or even a few days) later from now. Though if I didn't need all that, I'd definitely not watch it again for a long time... unfortunately I want to.

Post movie feelings: my companion liked the movie, initially said to never watch it again but now wants to watch it again because it was so "wtf" she felt like re-experiencing it at some point. She liked the music (another bonus point for Yorke). She wished she could film the reactions of other people who watched this, as they mostly were confused, all being like "wtf did I just watch???". I'm already feeling bad for the 3rd companion who didn't join us but would also like to watch this - he’ll likely be one of those confused movie-goers.

[oleanderblume]

Okay. Time to talk about it.

For reasons.

So, as anyone who actually pays attention to the posts I make knows, I have DID and right now things aren't going so great so I'm just gonna scream into the void about it. Tw: csa cp sa and other not fun stuff.

So. I'm writing a book series, and at some point while I was writing my books, the main characters of the series ended up being introject alters in my whole ass head.

I didn't want that. Or ask for it. It just happened.

The reason I don't want that is because it makes me not want to write anymore because now those people are literally walking around in my head and its not fun. Also they are kids and my brain is not kid friendly. Or me friendly.

I don't know how they formed but I do have an inkling as to why, my theory is 1 and 2

1. The alters already existed but wanted an easy face so they took the ones I already made and rolled with it

2. The alters hadn't been formed yet but due to exterior stresses they DID form and now I've gotta deal with that.

The first theory is the most likely tho.

Anyways, this happened, I am upset by it. I am in a bunch of groups on fb for DID so I post about it (vaguely because I genuinely thought that this was sort of common but apparently it is NOT) the group i posted in had some assholes 8n the administration as well as.members who took it upon themselves to take my rather vague post about introjects and turned it into a huge mess,.claiming that I was faking having DID and that I was just making up imaginary friends. Despite the fact that the post itself alluded in NO WAY that I genuinely wanted this to happen.

I wasn't given an opportunity to explain myself, and the admin kicked me from the group. So I made another post in the sister group EXPLAINING why I was upset and what was going on and I STILL GOT MADE FUN OF, ridiculed, and my experiences invalidated. Even when I told them that I work for 11 hrs and don't have ample time to dawdle on fb groups. The admin offered to let me back into the other group but I decided to leave both of them because it is simply ridiculous that I should be completely ousted for not fitting into their idealized version of what DID is when it is such a subjective experience for everyone with it. Also one person was just a major fucking asshole to me for no good reason and I wanted to get away from them.

It was a waste of my time and added stress I really didn't need, and on top of that, it gave me LITERALLY NO ADVICE OR VALIDATION for what was ACTUALLY stressing me out.

Also, it made me mad and then Jodie fronted and it was just a big pain in the ass for no real reason.

But the thing is, I still have the same problem. Two fucking kids are running around my head in danger of being caught by a persecutor and being harmed and *I* have to figure out how to wrangle them up. Well, turns out ONE OF THEM IS A MAJOR FUCKING ASSHOLE. Which is my fault because I technically wrote him as an asshole and so his personality reflects that. And also he's 14 and 14 year olds are just a big bag of ducks to everyone. But it gets WORSE. Because he DOESN'T KNOW HES IN A SYSTEM.

So I have a 14 year old jackass running around, with no fucking clue whats going on or where he is, being actively pursued by a persecutor who wants to fucking hurt him >:(

Well, I find him, and he is pissed and won't fucking talk to me because HE doesn't want to be here EITHER. No shit Sherlock. It fucking sucks I know. But he WILL talk to my friends, when he fronts which is WHENEVER APPARENTLY. So he talks to my friends and gradually figures out sort of whats going on but THEN the persecutor (I have named him Bastard for now) gets a hold of him.

Now here is where the trigger warning stuff comes in so don't read this if you don't want to be completely skeezed out.

So..our persecutors have a nasty habit of forcing alters into co-con so they can hurt the body and make *them* feel it. Its really hard to combat and trust me, I'm working on that okay?

They do this to trigger flashbacks and panic attacks and the like because idk, that's probably their fucked up way of saying "hey here is something important you need to know" while also being incredibly fucked up and psychologically damaging to whoever happens to be the target.

Well, Bastard does this to my boy, and here is where things really get into the nitty gritty. So please avert your eyes.

A little backstory. On my trauma (or what I know of it so far cause this shit is like a 3d jigsaw puzzle)

From what I KNOW, and what I've been told by other alters, there is a huge chunk of information missing from when I was about 4-12 (cause my earliest kid memory is from like 12) and that is when I think a lot.of the particularly bad stuff happened. Except we have been trying to figure out what it was for quite a while.

We know it has to do with child pornography. Because Acey, who is 5 has memories of that and Destiny, Siren and Syn all have memories that very specifically depict incidences of cp.

Destiny has memories of being r*ped with coke bottles, and being locked in a bathroom that was converted into a dark room (we think that's how The Other One was formed, from the reflection you saw in the mirror) we know this because she kept a detailed journal of when the first persecutor showed up, Fear, and he did that thing i was talking about earlier.

Another thing about Destiny is that when she first started fronting, she was 100% certain she was not Destiny, and was *deadname*. Fear was the one who named her and only ever referred to her as Destiny.

I'm not sure about Syn because they are a cat and only talk in third person with rudimentary English, but they fucking HATE men. And Siren is a fallen angel that very explicitly talks about being too "impure" for God.

And Acey has memories of being drugged and assaulted. (Her name is literally short for Acetaminophen so...)

At this point (around sophomore year) the picture we have is that there was some csa and cp, but no perps.

However, we gained two alters at some point that could have clued us in on stuff.

Eleanor, a little who is about 4-5 years old has memories of being told to play faries with an older person, and to build her own imaginary world. And then Mockingbird. An alter who purposefully mimics other alters and lives in annual hospital.

Thing about mockingbird though, is that she has a phone in her room that is ALWAYS ringing, but whenever she answers it, the voices on the other side are unintelligible. And so is she, when she talks at least. Most of the time. She only sounds like a regular person when she pretends to be a different alter.

BUT the thing is, there had been a bunch of other stuff that hadn't correlated to this, at first we thought it may have been some sort of ritual abuse? Because in like 2017/18 an feral alter (and I mean completely animalistic, growling biting and clawing at stuff) surfaced that only spoke backwards and was also named Satan. They looked like a typical humanoid goat demon ram person thing (?)

SO to figure shit out, we send Anon (short for Anonymous) to look around the mindspace and figure out what the fuck is going on. They find this WALL. Its a huge ass brick wall, at the edge of the garden, and it circles around the entire northern hemisphere of the planet (our mindspace is a planet)

And it has a bunch of paper plastered over it saying "the rules" of the system. But no one can fucking read them. Yay. Also, Esz did some investigating of the wall himself and that's how he got caught by Controller and made feral.

And since they started fronting AFTER Esz came around, we figured oh, something is up here?? Because Esz is also a demon alter.

Well, uh, turns out there was another persecutor (aptly named Controller) in control of Satan and they were targeting Esz this time around, and the two of them integrated. Esz is still around, Satan is basically no more. Well, not really. Because now Esz is also fucking feral. Which was really stressful because having your primary protector and system manager be a fucking screeching demon beast is uh..not fun. We luckily got that under control tho (thank fucking god) but now Esz has these memories of being r*ped which is great because he is the epitome of masculinity (I jest the boy eats fucking vegan chicken with spicy ketchup wtf) but this time we get some sort of insight into Satan's (and probably Esz's) creation cause the memories involve this random ass fat guy (don't recall them mentioning seeing his face) but he was this tail kink or some shit and had a really long tail but plug and made Esz act like a literal animal to get is nasty ass rocks off.

At this point, we aren't 100% sure what's going on. Because we've got these two very conflicting narratives and one of them has what we think are religious undertones while the other has obvious cp.

And now that Esz is (as far as I'm aware) back to normal, he knows more information because to make him feral, Controller had to bring him BEHIND the wall.

So Esz informs us that the wall has a bunch of layers, and there are a shit ton of other alters back there but none of them have faces. AND there are OTHER PERSECUTORS back there, who all work in tandem with eachother in some sort of hierarchy. All led by someone called The Puppeteer.

Thats all the information we have on anything past the wall :/

BUT THEN somewhere down the line, we get another little, and their name is Penut. Which is IMPORTANT because that was the nickname we had as a little kid by our NEIGHBOR Beverly. And Penut has some unpleasant csa memories FROM BEVERLY.

At the time, we just thought "oh great, so we can add that to the stack of BULLSHIT" and didn't think much further on it.

BUT ALSO, this was around the time our sister (bio sister) came into the picture and learned about some of the stuff and she very VERY specifically says that she thinks Beverly had a major role in us developing DID. Again at the time I'm like "well yeah, if Penuts memories are true then she definitely had a role" but none of us are really even venturing further on the topic. Because we are sort of distracted by having TWO persecutors and A FERAL FUCKING PROTECTOR ALTER.

Obviously though, things cool down a whole lot more. Its good, things are great.

Until Oliver pops up.

SO NOW WE ARE BACK AT THE PRESENT MIND YOU.

There is another persecutor, he is really annoying. He is hurting my newest/possibly older but only recently resurfaced alter. And GUESS WHAT HE MAKES HIM SEE.

☆this is legitimately disturbing so please be warned☆

Bastard does his thing and Ols has a very visceral flashback- i know what happened in it because he literally wrote about it because he was convinced it was important, which it IS.

In this flashback, he is obviously me, being r*ped. But this time for some reason, the person doing the r*ping is making him look at him, so he sees this guys face. Which has never EVER happened in a flashback before. Especially to the point where you actually REMEMBER WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE. The guy has green eyes, and a beard, like a scruffy longer one. And while this is happening, at some point, Ols overhears ANOTHER PERSON in the room. A woman. And it's Beverly.

I know it's Beverly because he mentions in his recount that she called him Penut.

And she is working a hand held camera, and there is another one on a stand that is like, hooked up to a television, replaying what is being recorded.

At some point he's made to face the TV, like sitting on beard guys lap or something to watch and Beverly is just casually talking to beard guy, literally telling him to hurry the fuck up because there's gonna be another "session" after this one.

They start talking about what they are going to do next (with me/Ols) and mention the next "client" and then using a tail and making me act like an animal, and then other things like using laxatives, other kinds of drugs and even using other kids. They talk about how the video won't have sound, so none of what they are saying is going to be recorded too. Beverly at one point walks up to him, close to the end I think, and is like really close to his face, and this is when she calls him Penut, and talks about how much money she's going to make (or something like that, Ols is giving me the details as I'm writing)

Then beard guy makes him come and moves him again so he can't see the TV or Beverly and then beard guy finishes his shit and Ols overhears Beverly say that they next person is almost here and he needs to go now.

Then the flashback is over and Bastard says "this is why you are here" or something along those lines, and Ols immediately (well, probably after a little mental breakdown) writes all this shit down and sends it to two of my friends in a message (im so sorry about that guys)

Then I find put about it, have a really bad time, but now I'm in puzzle mode and all the peices are starting to fit together.

So...from what we have of Oliver's flashback, Beverly is a main perp, and was basically pimping us out to folks for cash while taping it and putting it put for other folks to purchase.

Esz and Satan being feral are because the next "session" involved someone with a gross animal kink. And that can ALSO account for Syn, because she is a literal animal. Her mention of drugs can easily coincide with Acey's memories.

And Destiny's coincide with the cp in general as well as probably someone who was sadistic enough to shove fucking glass bottles inside people.

Im not 100% where Eleanor fits in, but it can easily be suggested that she came about when shit first started to get real bad. And Penut, well, I'm pretty certain that she was THE FIRST alter. And probably what gave Beverly the idea in the first place (I'm not sure because most of Penuts memories were when we had sleepovers at Beverlys but it makes a lot of sense if she were the first of us and her compliance gave Beverly the opportunity to take further advantage)

Mockingbird hearing voices through the phone could be conversations that Beverly and other people were having during "sessions"

And the persecutors. Are modeled. After the different clients (and probably Beverly too) that had come and gone.

And the wall probably has a metric fuck ton of other alters back there with other horrific experiences and memories waiting to be slowly leaked out along with this tier list of persecutors modeled after their respective abusers and the puppeteer is probably an introject OF BEVERLY.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Of course, this is all speculation and it can completely change course at the drop of a fucking hat but I have NEVER EVER been so certain in my LIFE that this is what happened. Like..it makes too much sense?!

[killjoy-3000]

A Battle of the Elements: Chapter One

AO3 Link:

Word count: 2024

Warnings: A few bad language words, I think thats it.

So this is my second official fanfiction, and I think it turned out okay? For chapter one, at least. I will try to post more chapters, but no promises, as I am a major procrastinator. Leave a comment, reblog, or a like if you enjoy!

Patton took a deep breath, filling his lungs with air. Walking through the front doors of Sandy Grove high school, he pasted on a smile. With luck, this would be the last school he ever attended. Waving at a few students that walked past, Patton started towards the front office. He had already registered in the school a few days prior, but he didn't yet have his locker combination or list of classes.

      Once he grabbed everything he needed, the cheery-looking boy found his locker and placed his things into it. Adding a few animal pun stickers to the sides of his locker, he gave a firm nod. This was his new school, and he wouldn't mess up. Not like all the other times.

      Patton stood after grabbing the things he needed for his first period. Turning around, he attempted to walk to his first class. As he sat on the floor, his things scattered around him, he realized that he had ran into someone. Looking over, he discovered that someone was a boy with dark purple hair, black eyeshadow under his eyes, and a baggie hoodie swallowing his skinny frame. 

      "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention! Let me help you! Are you alright?" Patton jumped up as he said this, ignoring the bruise he could feel forming on his arm from hitting it against the locker. Holding his hand out, the shorter boy offered to help the other.

      Flinching at the hand, the boy scooted back. "I-I'm fine." He stood, glaring at Patton. "Watch where you're going." The mysterious boy grabbed his book that he had dropped, and walked away. Patton stood in the middle of the hall, confused. He decided to brush it off, thinking that the boy was having a bad day, and began to pick up his books. 

      A few hours later, Patton found himself in his fourth period class. In his nervousness for his first day of school, he had forgotten to eat breakfast, and was counting down the minutes until lunch. He had yet to make any friends, and hadn't even talked to anyone besides the teachers and the strange boy in the hall.

      The bell rang, signaling the end of fourth period. Only one class to go until lunch , Patton thought. Then, he realized that he would have no one to sit with. Maybe I can go outside. Walking into the classroom, he sat down in his assigned seat. This was the first class that had assigned seating, but Patton wasn't complaining. It just meant that people would actually sit near him.

    Looking around, he examined the people sitting around him. To his left, there was a serious looking student who wore a tie and glasses. His black hair was gelled back, and there wasn't anything out of place on his body. It was kind of scary how neat and tidy this guy looked. 

    Glancing to his right, Patton did a double take. The guy he had run into earlier was scrolling through his phone, not taking notice of anything around him. He didn't look very happy to be there, and his fingers kept tapping the desk and fiddling with his hoodie as he held his phone. He looked anxious about something, though Patton didn't know what.

    Finally, Patton glanced behind him, and saw a guy dressed in a white shirt with a little golden crown on it and blue jeans. His hair was gelled back as well, but it was in a messier fashion than the tidy guy. He was laughing at something his friend had said, and looked like a fairly popular dude. Maybe Patton could become friends with him? 

    As the class went on, Patton tried to initiate a conversation with the other students. He got scolded by the teacher once or twice, but no one seemed eager to talk to him. The bell rang for lunch, and he hadn't gotten anywhere. Resigning himself to his fate, he walked to his locker and put away his things, grabbing some lunch money. He would just sit outside and eat alone.

    Virgil sat in the bleachers, taking no notice of anything around him. It was late October, and he, loving the weather, often ate outside. He ate outside the rest of the year too, but he enjoyed it more this time of year. People didn't tend to be very nice to the dude wearing all black sitting in the back of the classroom, so he didn't bother trying to eat in the cafeteria.

    As he ate his sandwich, the boy watched a short, curly haired kid walk outside, lunchbox in hand. Upon closer inspection, Virgil realized it was the boy he had knocked over earlier in the hall. He looked pretty happy, and skipped over to the bleachers. Cursing, Virgil ducked inside of his hood, hoping the boy wouldn't recognize him. The universe didn't seem too keen on listening though, because as the boy looked up and saw Virgil, his smile got even wider. 

    "Hey! You're the kid from my English class! And the one I bumped into in the hall!" Rushing up the steps, the blue-eyed boy smiled at Virgil, and raised a hand as a greeting. "I'm Patton, nice to meet you. Officially, anyway. Sorry for knocking you down in the hallway earlier, I wasn't paying attention. You weren't hurt, were you?"

    Virgil raised his eyebrow, genuine confusion written on his face. Patton was… apologizing? For something that wasn't his fault? Realizing that he'd better say something, as it had been a few seconds, and Patton had asked a question, Virgil gave a small wave. "Uh, I'm Virgil. And I'm fine. Sorry I snapped at you earlier, I'm, ah, not much of a morning person."

    Patton shrugged, his smile somehow getting even wider. "No harm done." Seemingly pondering something, he paused. "So, uh, why aren't you inside? Do you not have anyone to sit with?" He looked sad at this, as though Virgil's loneliness was the worst thing in his life at the moment. 

    Virgil considered the questions, and shook his head. "It's not that I don't have anyone to sit with, it's that I don't have anyone I want to sit with." He shrugged, showing that it was no big deal, and returned to eating his lunch. "What about you? You seem, uh, friendly. Has no one invited you to sit with them yet?"

    At that remark, Patton seemed to deflate a bit. "Well, not exactly. Everyone looks like they already have their friend groups, and I wouldn't want to intrude." He sat down, and picked at the weird mush on his plate that resembled mashed potatoes. After a few seconds, he blinked, and looked up. "Do you have a friend group, Virgil?"

    Virgil stared at Patton for a moment. "Wh- Of course I do! What's that supposed to mean? They're just… preoccupied right now. They like to sit inside, and I don't. That's all." He looked away, staring at the school. While part of what he'd said was true, it wasn't the entire story. Remus and Dee were more popular than him, so even though they liked to hang out with Virgil, they didn't tend to eat outside with him very often. 

    After a few minutes of silent eating, Patton seemed to grow uncomfortable at the lack of conversation, and spoke up. "So, um, what's Sandy Grove like? I just moved here with my mom and grandmother, but I don't know much about it." He picked at the sleeves of his sweater, and bit his lip, as if asking Virgil these questions would harm either of them. 

    "It's a fairly boring town. We've got one store, an old, broken movie theater, and a cafe with cockroaches. There're 200 kids at the high school, and 300 at the elementary, which has grades K-8. There's nothing to do, nothing to see, and, quite frankly, I have no idea why you'd move here." Throwing his trash into his lunch sack, Virgil stood, and prepared to go inside. 

    "So have you lived here your whole life?" Asked Patton, still trying to make conversation. Giving a small nod, the darkly-dressed student began to walk inside. The other followed, rushing to keep up with Virgil's long strides. As they walked inside the building, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

    The bell rang, and Logan gathered his books up for his next class. He had spent his lunch period in the library, as he usually does, and was now prepared for his Calculus test in his seventh period. He was walking through the halls, making his way to his sixth period, when he hit something. That something appeared to be a short boy with round glasses, curly blond hair, and freckles. 

    As the shorter boy fell, Logan grabbed his arm, stopping his descent. He stumbled over his feet, but managed to catch the other. They stood there for a few seconds, each of their eyes wide, until Logan came to his senses and straightened up. He let go of the small boys hand, and grabbed the books that fell to the floor. 

    "Are you alright?" He asked in a calm voice, though his heart was racing. He felt bad, as he hadn't even noticed the boy in front of him until they had almost fallen on each other. The other nodded, taking his books from Logan's hands gratefully. "Thanks," said the freckled student quietly. "Sorry for running into you."

    He looked ... scared. Almost as if he thought Logan were going to yell at him. "It's fine. No one got hurt. Just watch where you are going next time." He told the boy, looking over him once more to make sure he was okay. When the boy nodded his understanding, Logan turned away to walk to his class. Unbeknownst to him, the short boy watched him leave, awe written all over his face. 

    For the rest of the day, Logan questioned why the boy he had run into looked so fearful and timid. Surely he hadn't looked that mean, had he? While people told him all the time he had a "resting bitch face", he didn't ever think it was that mean looking. Maybe he should work on softening it, so as not to scare anyone else. 

    Later that day, when Logan arrived at his house, he began on a project due in a few weeks. Better to get a head start than to never start at all. After working on it for around an hour, he got out his planner and looked over it, checking to make sure he had done everything he needed to that day. When it seemed like he was ahead on all of his assignments, he slumped back in his chair, staring at the ceiling.

    The stars on his walls and ceiling had been there since Logan was in fourth grade. His best friend at the time had helped him stick the small, glowing stars everywhere they could think of, and even now, seven years later, they all remained unmoved. His father thought they were foolish decorations, but he couldn't bring himself to get rid of them. They represented a large part of his childhood, and he would sooner get a B on an assignment than trash them. 

    It was funny, he supposed, that he loved space. The sky full of stars and far away planets was one of Logan's greatest passions. He had even considered becoming an astronaut when he was younger, but he knew it would never happen. As terrified of heights as he was, even thinking of going up there, thousands of miles above the ground, made him feel physically sick. 

    He got up and walked out of his room, careful to be quiet. It was around nine p.m., and his father didn't like him to be outside after it got dark. Stepping carefully, Logan made his way through the large, empty house, and finally arrived outside. He went over to his favorite spot in the large yard, and lay down, letting the feeling of the grass and the cool night air wash over him. 

[rmuldrake-blog]

Twin Peaks Part 14 Coffee Time

Well here we are we are now 4 hours away from twin Peaks finishing “the return” story, the pile driver punches just keep coming.

So the episode kicks off with Cole calling the sheriffs department in Twin Peaks he is returning Frank Truman’s call, Truman is providing Cole information on the missing page of Laura’s diary. There a wonderful little scene between Lucy and Cole. I can only imagine was Lucy and Andy’s trip to Bora Bora would of been like.

We stay with Cole and the team for an explanation of the first Blue Rose case

Olympia, Washington, 1975

2 field agents investigate a murder in Olympia, Washington. (Cole and Jefferies)

They arrest Lois Duffy at a motel.  They kick the door in after hearing a gunshot, there are 2 women inside. One on the floor dying the other holding the gun then drops it whe  the agents entewr

The wounded women is Lois Duffy on the floor she speaks

“i’m like the blue rose” and then smiles then dies and disappears

The other woman is also Lois Duffy she doesnt have a Twin sister Albert comments. 

While awaiting trail Lois Duffy swears she didn’t commit she hangs herself.

Tammy is asked what question should she ask she returns with 

“whats the significance of the blue rose”

“blue rose does not occur in nature its not a natural thing, the dying woman was not natural, conjured,  whats the word a tulpa”

Tulpa (Tibetan: སྤྲུལ་པ, Wylie: sprul-pa), nirmita (Sanskrit: निर्मित), or thoughtform, is a concept in mysticism of a being or object which is created through spiritual or mental powers. The term comes from Tibetan "emanation" or "manifestation".

“Good” Albert retorts.

This scene plays out very much like X files, so its probably why I liked it so much, The tulpa has also appeared in X file law in season 6′s Arcadia (the one where Mulder and Scully play house) and in season 10′s home again (the band aid man)

Cole enters the room with his thumbs up  Coffee time

Diane is on her way but before that we get the window cleaner, Moving on quickly...

Then we get the bombshell, On the last night that Diane saw Cooper did he mention Briggs Cole asks, she doesn’t want to talk a bout that night, but Cole pushes her. She confirms that he did, Albert then spells out what has happened to Briggs and the ring that was found

The next part I was shouting at the screen over and over again in Doctor who fashion.

Diane’s half sister is Janey-E and is married to Douglas Jones everyone calls him Dougie. Shes estranged but last heard they were in Las Vegas.

So my initial thought straight away hit me, Cole Albert and Tammy have now asked about Vegas, Diane got that text basically asking as much, We don’t know which side of the fence she is sitting on but she did seem genuinely shocked when they asked about Janey-E could it be that things are starting to make sense to her now the pieces are falling in line?

Cole calls the Vegas office there are 23 Douglas Jones in the area, (why did they not mention Janey-E is anyones guess surely that would of narrowed the search a bit.)

“How are we going to find the right one”

“WILSON HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU THIS IS WHAT WE DO IN THE FBI” 

Brilliantly funny my x file fandom also struck a chord albeit in a slightly different way.

““Thats why they put the I in the fbi” Xfiles pilot.

So were no more than 15 minutes in wow, so much stuff to mull over already,

After Diane leaves we get Cole bringing everyone up to date with the missing pages of Laura’s dairy, with the revelation of 2 coopers but after Cole’s first case I can see now why this may be more low key than I imagined it to be, A footnote in another Blue rose case. There are 2 coopers we now know what we are dealing with, but suspicions were probably already there this acts more of a confirmation to them, 

Monica Bellucci dream, “Oh boy” Albert sighs and Tammy... well her look say’s it all.

So the dream:

Paris Cafe, the music is deliberately tense and suspenseful. Cooper was there but no face could be seen only his chin, 

Monica was pleasant and had brought friends. While having a Coffee Monica quotes the phrase 

“We are like the dreamer who dreams and then lives inside the dream, .... but who is the dreamer”

Monica looked beyond Cole while he was feeling VERY uneasy. As he looks back we see scenes from Fire walk with me.

Cooper says it 10:10 February 16th. Cooper was worried about the day because of his dream, Jefferies appears and points at Cooper asking 

“who do you think that is there”

Cole and Albert both hadn’t remembered that. Its seems to be a running theme I am picking up on at the moment. more on that later.

I don’t want to theorise too much but dreams are a kin to the lodges, are we seeing a guiding force to the final act or a we seeing some very timey wimey stuff going on.

So back in Twin peaks the boys are getting ready to go into the woods, sandwiches are laid on the table and Andy is having just cheese, Reinforcing the fact that he is a simple standard guy very plain non corrupted. well thats the way I see it especially with what happens shortly, 

They arrest Chad and I can pretty much imagine the whole fandom punching the air, screaming yes. I did. I can only assume that because they all were leaving for the mountain that they wanted him out the way now.

Up in the mountain I had a very uneasy feeling, we had the hum but we also had Andy at the back and a bit behind them in a couple of scenes while they are walking, it gave us milliseconds extra screen time but it did feel like something was about to happen. 

The listening post is gone Bobby remembers lots of machines and then we arrive Bobby laughing on seeing Jack rabbits palace. One thing to note here 

The pan up the trunk is VERY reminiscent of the purple place before we see the Giant/Fireman and the birth of the golden Laura Orb.

253 yard due east with soil in their pockets we find Naido, Andy comforts her a vortex appears and he ends up sitting across from what we now know is the fireman. Andy is basically shown the entire history of the twin peaks story the explosion, Convenience store, GOTTA LIGHT, Laura’s death, Coopers ganger and even some future events (Lucy being shown something by Andy it would be funny if this was only a self fulfilling prophecy and there is nothing to the scene whatsoever ) Also included is the post where the kid got killed and the number 6 I have a feeling this post has been in the show before i’m guessing fire walk with me but not sure.

I feel that Andy must of been picked as he like cooper is not corruptible he is pure, plain like the sandwich no additions just who he is.

We return to planet earth, Andy is as confident as we have EVER seen him, he now has a purpose and he will do everything he can to complete his destiny. Naido must be protected and no one must know where she is. 

Truman and Hawk are struggling to remember what happened, its a running theme throughout then whole show with Cooper, Cole, Diane, People in the bar, anyone who may of been close too or in contact with the otherworldly beings or supernatural vortex's etc, 

We get an Andy and Lucy scene in the cells, a dog got lost and Lucy must have stayed the night Andy remembers that night too, Please don’t tell me Wally was conceived there Ha Ha.

Chad gets a lecture from Andy and we get a really bizarre guy mimicking everything, With blood or some other substance coming from his mouth, its a genuine WTF moment. I need to know more. 

We find ourselves at the Great northern with Freddie cracking nuts with his distinctive green glove and finding out its James birthday.

It appears James is after another married woman (sighs), Renee, could that be the girl who was at the bar when he was singing. Also I have had the thought that is this scene prior to our first bar scene, James doesn’t know who is on. Surely you would know if Lissie was on? No?

We then get the green glove Iron fist story, Where did he start bleeding? it must of been terrifying to the doctor  We also hear a lot of what the fireman had said, he has never spoken so much (off screen obviously), Freddie says London Town, when was it last called London Town the Victorian ages?? The fireman tells him that he will possess:

“the power of an enormous pile driver” we get the Jobsworth story and the cockney slang (i’m not a fan) of snapping his Gregory, (Gregory Peck=Neck), There is also a red card metaphor just in case you didn’t realise he is English, The fireman tells him to go to Twin Peaks to for fill his destiny.

James heads down to the furness’s we get the same noise down hear from up above in Ben's offices and a door, The whole scene seems to call back to Bob we see him in an area very much like this one i think in Fire walk with me if memory serves me right.

SOOOOO we come to Sarah Palmer, I can only guess it leads on from her boxing scene, no more drink needs one goes to bar. 

An obnoxious guy tries to hit on her, which turns out to be a HUGGE mistake, once Sarah takes off her face we get spikes clawing out of her face a hand which has a blackened spirit finger (as discussed on the plane by Cole to Tammy) and then a smile worthy of the cat from Alice in Wonderland, once the face is back on we get a devastating chomp on his neck. Is Sarah aware is she possessed or is she in complete control, does she have that creature in her from episode 8, is it as i have been educated recently Babylon from the box has it taken her over, Is it even Sarah soo many questions its left deliberately ambiguous. Her final remarks, “sure is a mystery huh” is just chilling.

So we are back at the bar another 2 random people talking about getting high, (Twin peaks seems to have a really big drug problem), Then we come to Billy, This girl is supposedly the last one to see him, she goes on to tell the story in the kitchen she thinks her uncle was there she is not sure, Billy jumped over a 6ft fence got into the kitchen blood coming from nose and mouth, he’s looking really strange, they don’t tell anyone? (did they remember it at the time my guess is it just left there mind as these things keep happening.) and we also find out that he has been having a relatioship with her mom TINA, The moment we get her name ominous music comes over.  The girl looks down and then asks “and then he just ran out again” its almost as if the previous question didn’t happen like she forgot, its all links in thematically. She also now doesn’t know if her uncle was there, where as before she thought he was. 

There are Probing questions here “have you seen Billy”

“ive heard you were the last person to see Billy”

“Whats your moms name” 

All these questions feel deliberate the others are lighter in tone. 

To me this probably was the most intriguing part of the whole episode. what an episiode it was.

Who is Billy? Is he having multiple affairs, Audrey, Tina etc, Who’s the dreamer, Is it Cooper, Is it Audrey in a COMA, Whats that thing in the CELL near Naido and Chad? Who’s after Naido is it the experiment? Whats happening with Sarah? Is she polar opposite to Laura now? Is the fireman creating a force to protect the white lodge? There is a plan in place it seems.

We have a lot to get through in 4 hours, and its going to be glorious.