#if she was like me then we would both make our parents so so sad
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Spent so much time around my parents today wow i dont belong here i am not the ideal child at all
#i will never be my older sister#tbh i dont have it in me to be jealous anymore#i used to feel that way in highschool but now i just feel#hm. defeated?#like shes a nice person. shes a good person im glad shes not disappointing my parents#if she was like me then we would both make our parents so so sad#she balances things out is what im saying basically#this is why i feel like dying is okay. i might make my parents grieve briefly but theyll move on quickly#especially if they find out i was going to like. bring shame to the family#theyre not cruel people but they dont have room in their home or their hearts for someone who cant use the resources they provide#in the way they deem ideal#they pay for my tuition bc i rejected my offer into art school and chose pysch instead#they pay for my meds bc they want me to be a functioning member of society that can eventually get married to a man and give them grandkids#my life is not supposed to be in my own hands#hah. god im tired#z.post
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#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before#is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things#the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the#weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad#not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a#prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country#my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for#treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad#as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain#shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing#to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird#when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk#i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach#out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home#somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long#term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting#whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot#i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors#i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival#unrelated
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#wooo tag rant!#this feels too silly to talk to friends about (and also feels a little like bragging which I’m NOT but)#but some stuff has happened in the last week that made me sad so. here we are.#for some context: I’ve always loved music. I sang constantly when I was younger (much to my parents amusement and therefore belittling)#I took piano lessons for five years and cello for three or four#both of those my parents were hugely supportive of#but neither of them were really It for me#I really really wanted to sing#finally in early middle school I talked my mom into letting me take a group voice class at our nearby music school#I didn’t think that would go anywhere of course#but the teacher of the class disagreed#she moved her entire schedule around to make room for me to take lessons with her#she immediately had me fast tracked to the basically honors program in the school. super performance based super exclusive#I’m pretty sure she tried to get lesson prices lowered for me#it was. amazing.#and also the first time I really felt like an adult thought I had potential for something?#I took lessons with her for a few years. I was about to be accepted into the honors program. and then I got my wisdom teeth removed.#tldr we don’t really know what the fuck happened but the muscles in my jaw went insane. I was in constant pain for like two years.#I tried to stick with voice but I just. had to quit.#I went back with a different teacher later in high school but had to deal with Constant complaints about it from my parents.#and when that teacher fell through I just. stopped trying.#my jaw is a lot better now. but I still don’t sing much because it all just. makes me so sad.#it’s this constant reminder of pain and having to quit something I’d dreamed about for Years and having my parents just… not care.#I’m just. so angry and sad.#this was something I loved. and I was good at it.#and now I barely sing in private.#I went to a cool chapel a few days ago that had amazing acoustics and was empty. and it was the first time I had fun singing in. years.#but then I tried again today and felt miserable.#idk.#I miss singing. I miss music.
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I keep thinking of Laios going to Kabru all sad doggy like oooh noo I will have to marry soon... hoping to get some pity cuddles (he has no intention to marry he thinks hell just figure out something) but Kabru is like dw I have been figuring out candidates it's gonna be fine. And Laios is like but... but... aren't you jealous??? and Kabru is like ???why would I be jealous of our wife??? And Laios is like what. And Kabru is like yeah i thought about it and I think it would be very unfair to demand she be loyal while you aren't but also I am NOT going to give up on being with you like are you crazy. And also I don't want to spend the rest of my life vetting lovers for her so once we find a girl we both like we're gonna go all in on seducing her and then I will propose we make it a threesome. If she really doesnt want anything to do with me we'll just take turns but ideally we will just be a throuple. Dw I've got this. And Laios is like ...but then what if you like her more than me and Kabru is like that's not how love works! Did your parents stop loving you when Falin was born and Laios is like actually im not sure they ever started and Kabru is like. OK we will need to unpack this later but like. You don't love Falin any less because you also love me right? And Laios is like but people say romantic love is different and Kabru is like people are full of shit
#dungeon meshi spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#dungeon meshi postcanon#labru#im aromantic bisexual and this is my canon now#and l is like what about the sacrality of marriage and k laughs so hard he has to run to the bathroom
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The Maid
Socialite!Wanda Maximoff x Beefy!Rich!Reader*
Maid!Natasha Romanoff x Beefy!Rich!Reader*
18+ only, read at your own risk
Word count: 4663
Summary: You are married to a wealthy socialite, but your newly hired housemaid doesn’t approve of the marriage.
AN: I was reading a book series and got this idea. Enjoy!
*Reader has a penis, no pronouns used.
“I still don’t think it’s a good idea,” you say, poking at the sad bowl of cereal before you.
“Why not?” Your wife frowns at you from across the kitchen.
“Because we’re doing fine! We don’t need any extra help,” you emphasize.
“You’re not the one stuck at home all day cleaning the house and cooking all the meals,” she snaps. Your eyes shift to the bowl of cereal you’d had to make yourself because she was too busy at her pilates class to cook you anything more substantial.
“This house is huge compared to our old one,” your wife continues. “And if you’re not going to help me around here, I’m going to hire someone who will.” Annoyance burns in your chest because you run your own company full-time, and your wife inherited all her wealth from her parents and hadn’t worked a real job in her entire life. “Besides, Steve’s the one who recommended her and he said she’s been really helpful to his family.”
“You seem to spend a lot of time talking to Steve,” you note, although you feel guilty for calling out your neighbor across the street. You’d spoken to him a few times and he seemed like a decent guy, but you weren’t stupid enough to not notice how often your wife would find her way over to his lawn multiple times a week.
“You’re at work all day and don’t answer your phone half the time,” she says. “You don’t expect me to stay in this gigantic house all by myself doing chores, do you? I’m not a house servant, Y/N.”
“No, of course you’re not,” you apologize. You glance at the Omega watch that had been an engagement gift from your wife. “Hey, I have to get going to work now.” Dutifully, you bring your bowl over to the sink and stop to kiss your wife on the way there. “I’ll see you later, honey.”
“Remember, the pool guy is coming at noon so you need to be back before then,” she says. “I don’t want to be left by myself with him.”
“Okay, I’ll try.” You’re not sure why she’s so nervous around the pool technician; he was about 30 years older than the both of you and had been very sweet and professional when he came to give you a quote for the maintenance.
“No, don’t try. Do it,” she insists.
You try to hold in your sigh. “Yes, dear.”
***********************************************************************
Natasha curses to herself as she drags her vacuum cleaner and basket of cleaning supplies up the sidewalk to your home. Your wife–Mrs. L/N, as she had asked Natasha to call her, while you had no problem being on a first name basis with her–had told Natasha she didn’t want her parking in front of your house, requiring her to park around the corner. Which wouldn’t have been a significant issue except it meant Natasha had to lug everything to your house every time she stopped by.
“Do you need any help, Nat?” Steve Rogers, the friendly neighbor whom she also worked for, waved at her from across the street.
“No, no, I’m fine!” she squeaks, not wanting to bother him. But Steve, ever the gentleman, runs over anyway and she has no choice but to turn over her supplies to him.
“You know, you can always just park in front of my house,” he offers, bundling the items in his muscular arms.
“That’s okay,” Natasha says. “Mrs. L/N made it very clear that as much as she needs my help, she doesn’t want people to know I’m here.”
Steve doesn’t argue with her and walks her to your front door. “Well, if you ever need anything–”
“Natasha! You’re late!” The front door swings open and Natasha finds herself face-to-face with your wife. “Oh, hello, Steven.” She flips her hair over her shoulder and bats her eyelashes at him. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”
“I was just helping Natasha with her things,” Steve explains.
“Oh, don’t worry about her. She can handle herself. Right, Natasha?” She turns a judgmental eye on Natasha.
“I appreciate the help, Steve,” is all Natasha says.
“You’re welcome. See you both later!” He quickly jogs back to his home.
Mrs. L/N ushers Natasha into the house. “I left a grocery list on the kitchen counter for you. If you can’t find something, please call me before you pick any substitutions,” she instructs briskly. “I have to go out to the HOA meeting, but Y/N should be home by noon before the pool man comes. Do not let him into the yard if Y/N or me are not home yet, understand?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Natasha nods her head, fighting the urge not to roll her eyes at this lady.
“Good.” She leaves towards the garage and Natasha can hear the purr of her Mercedes starting up.
It was Natasha’s second week working for your family, and she hated nearly every second of it–mostly because of your spoiled, bratty wife. But the few times Natasha had met you, she thought you were as kind and charming as could be (and very nice to look at). She wondered how the two of you had gotten together in the first place and what you saw in your wife. She was one of the bossiest clients Natasha had ever had, and Natasha had seen her be not much nicer to you. Plus, she was definitely hitting on Steve, but Natasha knows he wouldn’t cheat on his wife with yours.
She dumps her supplies in the foyer, then goes into the kitchen to find the grocery list. It only takes a single glance to know that your wife is totally fucking with her–what the hell is a rambutan? Natasha sighs loudly, wishing there were someone around to hear her distress. As much as she wants to quit working for your family, she needs the money. And she was still so new to the business, she couldn’t afford to make any bad impressions.
With another sigh, she balls the grocery list into her fist and heads back out.
***********************************************************************
Natasha returns from her grocery trip just in time to see you pull into the garage in your bright green luxury sports car she doesn’t even recognize the manufacturer’s logo of. You get out and wave to her and she smiles back, almost forgetting the awful phone call she had to make to your wife when she searched the entire store and still couldn’t locate the rambutans (she ended up having to make a separate trip to Whole Foods for them).
“Hi, Natasha!” you say, running down the driveway to help her with the grocery bags.
“Oh, don’t worry about these,” Natasha says, trying to swat your hands away. “It’s my job to take them into the house–”
“No, let me help,” you insist, scooping up four bags in one hand in one go. “Oh! Rambutans. These are my favorite. Thank you for finding them.”
Instantly, Natasha wants to take back all the curses she had put on the spiky red fruit. “It was nothing,” she lies, making a mental note to buy out the store’s entire stock for you the next time she goes.
With your help, it takes half the amount of time to get all the groceries in the house. You also insist on helping her put everything away, showing her the proper drawers in the fridge for the fruit and vegetables versus the meat, and where the cereals went in the pantry. Natasha is beyond grateful for you; she knows your wife would have happily stood there and watched her struggle, then loudly criticized her for not knowing better.
“Thank you, Y/N,” she says, her hand inadvertently brushing yours when you pass her the last bag of apples. She withdraws from you almost too quickly, her skin hot where you touched her, but you don’t seem to notice, distracted by the ringing of the doorbell.
“That must be Stan.” You dash off to meet the pool man.
Natasha fills the dishwasher as much as she can and starts in, then goes to finish washing the oddly-shaped pots and pans that didn’t fit in the sink. The kitchen window looks out to your yard that is probably bigger than the footprint of her entire apartment complex. The pool has two different levels, but both are filled with a suspicious green water. You’re standing poolside talking to Stan, an older gentleman whom Natasha personally knew to be very kind from her few interactions with him when he conducted work on the neighborhood pool’s.
She’s so busy looking at you, fantasizing about a life where this big house could be hers, with a doting partner who would take care of her and raise a family with her, she doesn’t hear the front door opening until she hears the unholy screech from your wife.
“Natasha, what are you doing?” she yells, hurrying over and snatching the soapy sponge right out of Natasha’s gloved hand.
“Um–the dishes? They didn’t all fit in the dishwasher–”
“You turned on the dishwasher?” Her eyes grow wide and her mouth drops like Natasha’s just confessed to a murder. “Didn’t I tell you we don’t run the dishwasher before seven p.m.?” Natasha is certain she’s never heard this instruction before in her life and watches as she rushes over to turn off the dishwasher mid-cycle and throw it open. “Also, you didn’t pack this correctly, you definitely could’ve fit those pots in here.”
“I’m sorry, I’ll rearrange it now,” Natasha says, trying not to get flustered. Surely your wife wouldn’t fire her over such a minor transgression, would she?
“Is Stan here yet?” she asks, but before Natasha can answer, she is interrupted by a shout and a splash. Both of them crane their necks to look out the window, where they can see Stan floating facedown in the pool. You’re kicking your shoes off and throwing your phone onto the lawn before you run up to the pool’s edge and dive in with a form that would rival an Olympic swimmer’s. Your wife screams and darts towards the back door, Natasha following right behind her.
“Y/N! What are you doing?”
“He fell in!” you answer, coughing out water as you loop your arms under the elderly man and kick back towards the stairs. “He just zoned out when he was talking to me and suddenly tipped over into the pool. I think he’s having a seizure.”
“I’ll call 911!” Natasha offers, not wanting to be as useless as your wife. She struggles to get her phone out of her pocket and punches in the number with shaky fingers.
Your wife hovers by the pool stairs, making no move to assist you as you struggle to drag the old man out, clearly weighed down by the water drenching both of your clothes. Stan is holding himself in a position so stiff it reminds Natasha of a mannequin.
“Ugh, don’t get me wet, Y/N!” your wife complains as the brackish water sprays everywhere.
“I’m trying not to!” you snap, gently laying Stan on the grass.
“Nine-one-one, what is your emergency?” a dispatcher picks up.
“Hello? Yes, I’m at 2800 Sherwood Drive. There’s a man here who fell into the pool and we just got him out, but he’s having some kind of medical episode,” Natasha says, putting her phone on speaker. The dispatcher asks if he’s breathing and you confirm.
“Can roll him to his side and stabilize his head?”
Without hesitation, you peel off your shirt and roll it into a soggy ball, gently tucking it under the man’s head like a makeshift pillow. Natasha tries not to stare at your nicely sculpted torso, highlighted further by the water droplets on your skin, but her face burns in shame when she sees your wife glaring at her ogling.
“Okay, his head is stabilized!” you call out.
“Perfect, emergency services are two minutes away.”
“Thank you.”
It’s a big scene at the house by the time the ambulance pulls up. Your wife eventually covers you up with a towel, but you’re insistent on waiting outside for Stan to be carefully loaded into the ambulance before you finally allow your wife to usher you back into the house, still dripping water everywhere.
“Thank you for the help today, Natasha,” you say, reaching out to give her shoulder a gentle pat as you walk by her towards the house. Natasha doesn’t even know how to respond but nods furiously and mumbles that “she didn’t help much.”
“You can go now, Natasha,” your wife says curtly, and Natasha doesn’t question her and practically flees the premise.
***********************************************************************
It’s been a few weeks since the pool incident and Natasha is barely able to hold onto her sanity with the never-ending list of ridiculous tasks from your wife. When she holds a fundraiser meeting for a charity Natasha is sure she made up on her own, she calls on Natasha as her personal servant, forcing her to serve a collection of the snobbiest women in the neighborhood. Maybe I should take up meditation, Natasha thinks to herself as she prepares a third pitcher of iced tea because the first two “did not have the right balance of sugar to tea,” according to your wife, despite that Natasha had put in exactly one-third cup of sugar as requested.
Natasha doesn’t see you much around the house anymore, and she wonders if your wife purposely scheduled her around your work hours, or told you to stay away from her. She wants to ask you if there were any updates about Stan’s condition (there was no way she was going to get that information from your wife). She missed hearing your voice and seeing your smile…wait.
She shakes her head–she shouldn’t be thinking about you like that. You’re her employer and you’re married (to a bitch). It would be entirely inappropriate and dangerous to pursue you, so she would just have to make do with ogling you from afar. Besides, a lot of her clients did not show her respect, likely due to the nature of her job, so just because you were courteous and respectful towards her, didn’t mean you felt a specific way about her.
“You know, Y/N used to be fat.” Natasha startles when your wife walks up behind her. She almost drops the picture frame she’d been dusting of the two of you on a beach, holding hands as you walked towards the sunset in the background.
“Excuse me?” Natasha asks.
“Fat and poor,” Mrs. L/N adds, much to Natasha’s horror.
“That’s an awful thing to say about your partner,” Natasha says.
She shrugs. “I don’t want anything to be sugarcoated for you. All of this–” She gestures around to the grandiose-ness of the house, and points to a more recent photo of you, where you’re carrying your wife in your arms, the bulge of your biceps and wideness of your shoulders stretching out your shirt. “–was not a thing when we first started dating. I was there when Y/N had nothing and was no one.”
“Okay.” Natasha wonders why she’s acting like she did you a favor, when you are clearly the catch in the relationship. But then it suddenly dawns on her the reason she’s saying this is because she knows Natasha might have a small crush on you.
“Y/N would never leave me, because I was there from the beginning,” Mrs. L/N says loftily.
“Of course,” Natasha says, fearing she has made a terrible mistake. “Y/N must be very lucky to have you.”
“You have no idea,” your wife smirks. “So let me be a reminder to keep things professional in my house. I’d hate for you to lose your job here. As far as I know, this is the only neighborhood that employs you, and your reputation is everything, isn’t it? One bad review could spoil the whole bunch, and you’d be off having to peddle your services elsewhere.” Icy fear pits at the bottom of Natasha’s stomach. “That is, if the police don’t pick you up first.”
“What are you talking about?” Natasha whispers, even though she knows exactly what Mrs. L/N is talking about. She had been foolish to assume her past would never follow her, but how could your wife have found out? Clint had assured her that with a new name and a new location, she’d be untraceable.
“Because they’d have to arrest you from stealing Y/N away from me,” Mrs. L/N laughs shrilly. Natasha chuckles nervously, although she was certain adultery was not a punishable offense in the state. “But I’m just joking. That would never happen, right?”
“Never,” Natasha promises, hoping her cover will stay hidden for now.
“Good.”
***********************************************************************
“How was your day at work, honey?”
“Busy,” you grunt, moodily poking at the chicken pot pie Natasha had made before she went home. The food tastes good–it’s better than anything your wife has ever cooked, you think privately, but you don’t have much of an appetite. The end of the financial quarter was rapidly approaching and it had become extremely apparent to you that the profits of your company were not outweighing the expenses for the third quarter in a row. You were digging yourself a bigger and bigger grave, dipping into your personal investments to pay your way out of debt. It was the most stressful period of your life, with no relief in sight, and your wife wouldn’t understand the pressure.
“Sorry to hear that,” she says, although her words don’t come across as very genuine. “My day wasn’t so great either. I got into an argument earlier with Mrs. Harkness at the HOA meeting.” Your wife clicks her tongue. “Some of these women will go to war over their lawn decorations, I swear.”
A jab bubbles on the tip of your tongue; was she really trying to compare an HOA meeting to your very real, very stressful job running a business? But you stay quiet, shoveling another spoonful of pot pie into your mouth.
“Where’s Natasha?” you ask. Usually she stayed around for dinner (not that your wife would let her sit at the same table as you), but you hadn’t seen her in the house for a while.
“I ran out of time today, so I sent her out to grab some things for tomorrow,” she answers. When Natasha had first been hired, you had been under the impression that she was exclusively a housekeeper, helping with all the household chores your wife couldn’t complete. But you had heard about her running grocery trips and waiting on your wife and her friends during meetings, turning Natasha into more of a personal assistant than anything. You hoped she was okay with that; you knew how demanding your wife could be sometimes.
“Oh, okay.” You finish your helping of pot pie in silence, then go to place your plate in the dishwasher, before going into the bedroom to retire for the night. As you’re washing your face in the sink, you hear your wife pad up behind her.
“Sorry you’ve been really stressed lately,” she says, rubbing her hand up and down your arm.
“It’s not your fault,” you respond, drying your face on a towel, going back into the bedroom to find your pajamas so you can take a shower.
“Y/N.” Your wife stops you as you’re searching through the dresser for your pajamas. When you look at her, she’s eyeing you with her bottom lip between her teeth. She struts towards you, slowly sinking to her knees and looking up at you. “Maybe I can do something to make you feel better?”
With you being so busy with work and her busy with the new move, the two of you hardly had time for each other. Plus, your wife tended to be on the particular side and never seemed to be in the mood if you initiated. It was a little frustrating sometimes, but you found ways to cope and besides, it did make the times she was ready for you all the more enjoyable.
She pulls down your pants, palming at your boxers and causing you to groan. You unbutton your shirt as you feel your body start to heat up and let it slide off your shoulders.
“Fuck, don’t tease me,” you grunt when she leans forward and nibbles on the exposed flesh of your thigh.
“You need to savor the moment,” she says, although you can tell she’s just as impatient when she hooks her fingers into the waistband of your boxers and draws them down to the floor. Your heavy cock bobs out, slapping against your abs before your wife grabs onto it and brings it to her mouth.
“Fuck, baby,” you moan, tipping your head back when you feel her lips wrap around your cock. You wrap your hand in her hair, pumping your hips forward to sink your length into the heat of her throat. She grips onto your thighs to steady herself, the faintest of choking noise escaping her. You grunt in satisfaction, thrusting a little harder until the tip of your cock bumps the back of her throat. She whines louder, but doesn’t pull away, and your knees are practically shaking at the sight of her deepthroating all of you.
“You’re doing so well,” you praise and her cheeks flush red. “Are you gonna let me finish in your mouth?” you ask, and she nods in response, the movement causing a burst of pre-cum to leak out of your cock. You stroke a stray hair out of her face so you can look into her eyes when you finish. “That’s my good girl.”
***********************************************************************
Natasha lets herself into your home, juggling three heavy bags that she’s pretty sure are cutting off the circulation to her fingers. She passes by the kitchen, confused to see it empty; when she had left the two of you were just settling down to eat. She puts the bags by the foot of the table, recalling the time Mrs. L/N had screamed at her for putting “dirty outside bags” on the place where you ate. She wouldn’t make that same mistake again.
Checking her phone, Natasha sees that your wife had sent her a text less than five minutes ago.
Natasha sighs. It had already been a long day, but she wasn’t given an ounce of leeway. She knows better than to walk away from an unfinished task (especially around your wife), so she trudges up the stairs and turns into the guest room. Hopefully her presence can go unnoticed, and your wife will magically find the folded clothes long after Natasha is gone.
There are a total of three shirts and a pair of jeans left to fold. Natasha knows it would be too much to ask your wife to do on her own. She grits her teeth and folds the clothes, taking the better part of a minute, then looks around and realizes she doesn’t remember where she put the laundry basket.
Maybe she had already brought it to the master bedroom, but she knew she couldn’t just leave it on the guest bed, or your wife would probably fire her. Natasha gathers up the clothes and walks down the hall to the master bedroom, but freezes in her tracks when she hears noises coming out of the bedroom.
Moaning noises, specifically.
Natasha can’t stop herself as she moves closer to the door, positioning herself to peer through the crack in between the door and the wall. She sees your wife on her knees, her head bobbing against your waist as you stand there, half-naked, moaning and thrusting your hips forward.
Natasha feels like she can’t breathe, totally shocked and embarrassed to have caught the two of you in a moment. She has a strange sense that your wife had set her up like this on purpose, but the thought quickly dissipates as she finds herself moving closer to the door.
“That’s my good girl.”
Natasha’s stomach flips when she hears you say this, even though it isn’t directed to her. But maybe one day it could be.
She’s practically pressed up against the door, the fear of being caught burning away in her eagerness to keep watching you. The way the muscles in your stomach and thighs flex as your hips roll in a sinful rhythm. Natasha is almost ashamed at how fast she feels the arousal building in her own stomach.
You grunt louder and slow down as you seem to near release. Natasha can’t help but wonder what you must taste like and if she could even fit you down her throat. Your wife seems to be struggling with your size, but Natasha would do everything in her power to make you happy and not let any drop go to waste.
Without warning, your wife removes you from her mouth. Both you and Natasha gasp–you probably in frustration, and Natasha because she’s shocked at how big you are. Your cock is shiny with saliva and pre-cum and is so hard it looks like it’s about to burst.
“I didn’t finish,” you whine as your wife stands up, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She puts her hand on your chest and pushes you back until you stumble onto the bed.
“I know. But I don’t want you to finish in my mouth, I want you to finish inside me.”
“Oh.” Your wife takes off her pants and climbs onto you.
Natasha knows how wrong it is for her to stand there and continue watching. She should’ve left a long time ago. But somehow, she knows your wife set her up to see this, and instead of running away in shame, Natasha is totally absorbed and her obsession with you only skyrockets.
The headboard creaks against the wall as your wife rides you, both of you moaning in unison. Natasha’s eyes are stuck on you, trying to memorize your body’s reactions and wondering if she’d ever be the cause of them one day. You tilt your head back into the pillows, your back arching off the mattress, your hands wrapped around your wife’s waist as you thrust up into her.
“I’m ready. I’m gonna cum,” you announce breathlessly.
Natasha hopes you’ll say those words to her one day. But she turns away as you finish, scolding herself for her unprofessional and frankly creepy behavior. She drops the folded clothes to the floor, knowing your wife will eventually find them and know of their origin. Maybe she’ll get fired for this; if anything, it’d be for the better. She doesn’t trust herself to be around you anymore–not that she’d ever be so bold as to make a move and disrespect your marriage, but she’d never be able to look at you the same way again.
She quickly pads down the stairs and leaves the house, the emptiness in her heart and core almost reaching a painful point.
***********************************************************************
You jerk your hips up a final time as you cum, dropping back onto the bed exhausted and spent.
“Hmm, that was fun,” your wife pants against your neck, and you wrap your arm around her tightly, pulling her closer to your body.
“We can shower together?” you suggest, digging your fingers teasingly into her naked hips.
“Sure. Give me a minute.” She lays her head on your chest.
Despite your differences, you were truly happy to have this woman by your side through it all. She had been your longest supporter and that had meant everything to you when no one else believed in you.
You kiss her forehead softly. “I love you, Wanda.”
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AN: Actually screaming and crying. Nat please come save us 😭
To be continued?
@holiday-house-of-m I finally kept my promise to you after 84 years.
Please like, reblog, and comment! Follow for more content. 🥰
#natasha romanoff#black widow#natasha romanoff smut#natasha romanoff imagine#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff smut#natasha romanoff x reader#wanda maximoff x reader
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Fun Parenting With The Batboys
(request @nesting-dreams )
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Dick: "Come on, Sweetheart! You got this!" Dick yelled from the stands of your daughters first tee ball game. His face was painted with little hearts in her teams colors, Dick was so proud of his girl.
You came back with nachos for you and him and waters for all three of you. When Jasmin got back to home plate the both of you errupted in pure pride screaming her name. You could tell she was a bit tired, breathing heavy and sweating quite a bit so you went over to her and handed her the water and told her to drink slow as you gently pet her hair.
"Just like we practiced, Sweetheart. I'm so proud of you!" Dick's smile was a mile wide, him and Jasmin had been practicing almost evert day when he he was able.
"Why are we the best?" He kneeled and hugged her tight as he asked her the question.
"Cause we kick butts!" She yelled in excitement as she flexed her tiny muscles the way Dick normally did jokingly.
Jason: Jason was in the garage fixing up your car and he'd probably said it a few times whilst she sat in her high chair so of course she repeated it.
"Fuck!" She repeated after him. He had said it after sitting up off the back board he was using and probably 1,000 other times today.
"Hehhehe, No. Princess, Mommy would kill me if you keep saying that." He told your daughter as a smile tried to itch its way onto his face.
"Fuck!" Aurora said to his face, she just knew it made him laugh and smile and she liked that.
"Rory." He tried to say it in a serious tone as he tried to hide his laugh.
"Fuck!" She giggled as she saw him smile and his eyes lit up.
"Jason Peter Todd, You best not be teaching our sweet little girl to cuss." You said in a sweet but slightly serious tone as you came to help him work on your car.
"Fuck!" Aurora giggled trying to make her mom laugh like she did her dad.
"She started it!" Jason jokes back at you laughing.
"Daddy say fuck!" She asks him with a giggle cause him saying it made her laugh and vice versa, a merry-go-round of laughs between the two of them.
"If you're gonna teach her the words, thats fine but make sure she knows when and when not to say them and how to use them properly." You spoke with a sincere tone to Jason. Jasons jaw dropped at your words, he was suprised.
"You'd be okay with that?" He asked with astonishment in his voice. Although he was suprised it made him happy to know you werent a stickler for general parenting rules everyone else seemed to have.
"Yes, its fine but she doesnt need to use the words directed at us and she needs to know what they mean and how to use them."
"Fuck!" Aurora continued trying to make her Daddy smile.
"Rory, Daddy doesn't want you to say that right now, please?" Jason realized how important this all was, He was taking this Dad thing serious and Aurora could tell so she stopped. He did teach her thoughout time how to use them properly and to not use them at teachers or family.
Bruce: Bruce "really wasn't one for children" he'd tell you but that was before you went through nine months to have his daughter. A daughter was a change of pace from all the boys and plus she was blood, not that that made the boys any less his but May would look like you both and she'd have mannerisms from you both that happened a bit more naturally.
She had his crystal blue eyes that just cut through anyones sadness or anger, your nose, somehow ended up a ginger which did suprise you both but boy was she a picture.
He was playing peek-a-boo whist she sat in your lap.
"Da- Dad- Da- Da- Ah!" She giggled at Bruce again.
"Where's May?" He asked before popping out and saying "There she is." Which made her giggle so so hard.
Bruce "wasn't good with babies" he still claimed but that girl was a clear exception, his shining light and shooting star.
The press ate it up whenever Bruce was out and about with her, every man in the family doted on her. She's a spoiled little shit but she's got manners still, her brothers and Bruce made it a point for her not to just be another spoiled asshole.
You were worried about having a kid and how stressful it would be but between Alfred, the boys and Bruce, you almost never had to get outta bed in those early hours. (Especially cause they were already up most likely.)
Every little drawing she did he kept and he had a picture of her next to the Batcomputer to go along with the photo of you and him with the boys and the one of his parents. Family is what drove him now, not Vengence but protecting his family, you, his sons and his sweet little girl.
(Note: ik about Cas and Steph but I wanted to write this in a way that the daughter was a bit more special.)
Tim: Anna loved Tim to bits, right now he had her in the swings as he did silly faces at her whenever she would get closer. He gently pushed her back and forth. She had a clear favorite between you two.
"Daddy!" She was squealing and giggling doing faces back at him, he was entertaining her whilst you set up the picnic for food.
Thankfully, the wind had calmed itself down and you could put the blanket and basket down.
"Guys! Lunch!" You shouted before Tim slowed the little girl down which caused her to get upset.
"Daddy! Again!" She whined and pouted crossing her little arms.
"No, Anna. Mommy made food now we gotta eat okay?" Tim picked her up out of the swing and as soon as he did that she was immediately changing her attitude. Food and Daddy? She was definitely happy with that.
"Mommy made food?!" She was excited as she ran tword the picnic blanket.
She sat down as did Tim before chowing down, you did the same and made sure Anna's drink was open for her to drink out of. The little girl had jelly all over her face by the time the she was almost done eating and thought it was funny to rub her jelly filled face against Tim's.
Instead of getting angry he wiped peanut butter on her cheek which made her squeal and hide behind you.
"No, Mommy." She whined, Tim was happy she was spending more time with you now cause he knew how bad it hurt when she'd choose him over you nine times out of ten and he was trying to get her to spend time with you equally.
Damian: Damian being the asshole he is, no one would expect him to fall to his knees over his little boy, for him to smile when he tickled the small mini-me he had.
Enzo's eyes shined like emeralds as he played eith his father but when Enzo played with Titus? The boys eyes looked closer to Kryptonite with the way they were so full of life and happiness.
Enzo would pull on the poor Great Dane and he'd laze all over Titus. Damian and Titus were so paitent with the boy. Enzo would pull on the Great Dane and hug on him and nk matter how grumpy Titus could get he would never snap at Enzo.
When walking in the park with Enzo in the stroller you'd be walking Titus as well, Titus's head was on a swivvel and he'd never let anyone hurt you but also especially the precious cargo that was snoring in the covered stroller.
"Doggy!" Enzo was trying to find Titus and even with him being across the house he bolted to Enzo as soon as he was called foor. Damian didnt know what made him get up so fast so of course he was worried and grabbed his sword to follow the dog but as soon as he got there? Enzo hugging on the dog.
"Daddy and Doggy!" Enzo burped abd giggled as he saw the two of them, he was sitting in your lap and coloring in his coloring book.
Damian later placed one of those in Titus's doghouse and one on his desk. Titus was a watchful protector and protected the innocent young boybfor just about anything...the fireplace, the pool, putting his hands in the toilet.
That dog was practically a third parent which made life a lot easier, Titus knew when Enzo cried it was probably due to him missing him so he'd leave his bed at the end of yours and Damian's and sleep next to the crib which calmed the small boy.
Masterlist <-
#batboys#jason todd x reader#jason todd#dick grayson x reader#damian wayne x reader#red hood x reader#batboys x reader#batman x reader#tim drake x reader#bruce wayne x reader#batfamily#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing x reader#nightwing#red hood#robin x reader#tim drake#damian wayne
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can you keep a secret?
pairing: wednesday addams x werewolf fem reader
summary: you miss your girlfriend who's recently transferred to nevermore academy. your persistent whining is able to transfer you to nevermore and cling onto her the whole time there.
word count: 5k+
based off request!
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W and R are in a relationship, W transfers to Nevermore. W and R may not have anything in common, but they do on some things, like R being an outcast as well (a werewolf ), R insists their parents that they transfer to Nevermore too. After they successfully did, R immediately finds W, the outcast's curious to what'll happen to R (obvi doesn't know they knew each other).. Basically every student in Nevermore sees them together everyday. One, asks W who R is to W, she answers truthfully, "They're My Lover." everything and everyone just goes crazy
-
“Cara mia, we live next to each other,” Wednesday says softly, brushing your hair back as you braid her black silky hair.
You hum, a little sad, finishing to braid her two tiny braids that hung low to her chest.
“But I won’t see you in school, baby." A huff escapes your lips as your girlfriend sighs, giving up on trying to coax your madness.
“Or at all,” you add, “you’ll have a damn dorm with some girl that you’ve never seen before. It’s not fair.”
The raven-haired girl rolls her eyes, “I’ll cut off my heart with the sharpest knife I know if I ever started to love someone more than you,” Wednesday suggests, trying to make you feel better.
She cups your cheeks as you refuse to speak and rubs her thumb gently around the pink tint covering them. A way to always make you feel better. Yet she knows better because you certainly don’t look better.
“We’re both outcasts Weds. My stupid parents just won’t allow me to transfer because they think Nevermore is weird. Yet they went to school there. That's not fair."
“They’re just trying to protect you. I'd feel that way too for our daughter if Nevermore had hurt me. If someone ever hurt you, they’re death will be a long one. Sufferable and miserable. So bad that they’ll beg for forgiveness before they bleed out.”
Usually Wednesday would expect you to smile and giggle, but you’re not. Why does your girlfriend have to leave you?
“Can’t you stay?” You ask, voice tiny.
“As much as I sneak out, Mother has already informed everyone including your parents not to let me stay the night. They are used to my.. Tactics per say.”
Your sharp nails from your growth as a soon to be wolfed out werewolf emerges, clawing the wood you attached to your wall when this kind of stuff happens.
"I can sneak you in and I'll even build you a door in my closet," you suggest.
"No, Y/N."
"What if we install a life-like robot and I'll sneak out with you?"
"No."
You huff angrily, slashing the wood.
Wednesday firmly takes your hand, and your hand almost scratches her, yet it stops as you don’t want to hurt her, “Stop that.”
“No,” you state, tugging your hand away and sinking them into the wood, so hard that a big ass dent forms.
Your girlfriend sighs, rolling her eyes as she sweeps her bangs away from her eyes, “I don’t know what you want me to do bambina. Maybe I could.. Sneak you away from this horrid place. But at what cost? Nevermore seems strange. Not strange in a way I’d want to discover in mysteries though.”
She sees the way you sigh, disappointed. Upset.
“You’ll be there for a whole school year, it’s far.”
“I’ll bring my typewriter. Distance won’t change that, swear on my cemetery. I’ll write you letters at night, secretly take the principal's mailbox and send them to you. Or I’ll threaten Thing in my backpack and crawl till he can give it to you.” Wednesday isn’t kidding, her stare is cold, well usually it was cold, but not towards you. “He can suffer in thorns, I’ll stitch him up, just as long as.. You’ll write back?”
You nod, yet you don’t care about the letters, you care about her.
“You’ll send them?”
“Yes.”
“Every night?”
“Yes.”
“What if you begin to stop when you feel like it’s not working anymore?”
“I won’t Y/N.”
“You can’t know that.”
“Oh, but I do.”
"No you don't, you don't know the future."
"But I do know that I won't stop sending my letters. I can feel it."
You stop scratching the wood and you bury yourself on Wednesday, breathing in her scent as you try to comfort yourself. Yet even when the lights are off, your heart is pounding, feeling alone.
-
A tear falls from your cheek as you watch Lurch stuff his trunk, Wednesday talking to her mother and father, while hesitantly hugging Pugsley.
“You’ll have so much fun.” Morticia says, with a smile, kissing her cheek and staining it slightly with her black lipstick.
“Define fun as boring and a punishment, sure,” Wednesday stiffly responds, yet softens as she looks at you. She takes her mother’s hand off her shoulder and approaches you.
“If you cry, it'll be raining all day. And you don't want it to be all gloomy for you? I don't want my socks wet. A poem, along with two pages written in a small font. One to express my day, and one to express that stupid love so you can sleep peacefully at night with nightmares.” Wednesday says, stopping for a moment, “sweet nightmares,” she adds.
You nod, yet your tear stained cheeks aren’t really helping, she reaches up and wipes it off with her thumb. Then let you hug her, you immediately bury yourself into her and she sighs.
“I’ll be thinking of you, till every grain of sand can be counted.”
You watch her approach the car, then slip in. She has the window scroll down, and you look at her. As the car engine roars, you bite your lip. And slowly watch it wheel away. Slowly jogging till it’s out of sight.
-
It’s been two weeks. And sure enough, Wednesday has kept her promise. She’s sent you letters you’ve kept in your drawer, they’re never repetitive, but always show you love. You like it like that, knowing that it isn’t a chore for her to write letters for you. If anything, they’ve lengthened in size as she's sent more and more.
It makes you miss her a little more. You have to hug your life-sized stuffed animal at night that she sprayed her perfume on. She also left half a bottle on your counter, just in case it runs out. Though it takes longer to sleep, it makes you feel a little better knowing there was something that was like a piece of her beside you.
Thing has visited you, and you know that little guy has a huge memory. You lost the letter you were going to hand Thing, and though you were a little sad, he moved his fingers and you realized you could speak to him for hours and he would tell Wednesday every detail. She had even wrote to you,
~
I owe Thing a thank you, yet he can be provoking at times. He had communicated to me for an hour, thirty minutes, and thirty two seconds about your day. I always wonder what secrets lay in the Addams Family. Yet I’m not quite comprehending why Thing has a big memory space.
Nonetheless, I think about you everyday. My roommate, Enid, has been unpleasant with her interesting taste of fashion and colors. It’s distracting. In a negative way. You’re distracting in a way where I can’t take my eyes off your enticing figure Y/N. Weems had bothered me the whole day, smothered me with questions and made sure I was doing fine. No wonder why mother got along with her so much. Those two are like the same person just one with smothered ink. But, something that sparked my particular interest was that you can dorm with two other people. Thing had told me that there was an accident at your school. If you’d like, which I’d appreciate, could ask your mother about transferring, say it’s dangerous. You aren’t a late wolfer, but convince her possibly that Nevermore can increase your chances. Wish you were here, I hate Mr. Tuesday. That white bunny is always staring at me during my typing time. But I can tolerate him a bit more, knowing you gifted it to me. You love Mr. Tuesday, so I appreciate your gesture. It’s not often I get visions, but they’ve almost made me want to experience them more. I see you in them, baking. Writing to me. It makes me almost happy.
Enid keeps trying to get to know me, she’s a strange soul, but she’s a werewolf, like you. You two are nothing alike, yet I think you two would get along a bit too much. Except you don’t blast random glitter pop music during the night. During my WRITING TIME. Even thinking about it rots my brain. But I miss you cariño. Sleep tight, I’ve left at least 300 things to hide in your house and you’ll never expect where they are. But everyone is special, it’ll make you at least smile a little when I tell you each night. Today’s item is snuck inside your bed, I used Mother’s chainsaw to cut through the wood, it’s a tiny version of Mr. Tuesday. I asked Thing the other day to sneak it in that spot and he sanded the wood back in. It should be a sort of door. But I crocheted it during my free time, there are times where I can’t think during my writing time. That is an understatement, but I only think of you. But I’m hoping you can enjoy it for today.
Love you, sleep cozily,
Weds
-
You smile as you look under your bed, now noticing the small outline from Wednesday’s chainsaw and you open the little compartment to see another crocheted white bunny of Mr. Tuesday. You nuzzle it and place it on your desk. You love him. You even spent a few minutes grabbing white yarn and attaching it to your tote bag.
You think about what Wednesday said, someone had gotten hurt in your school from being stabbed by a senior that was drunk. Obviously he didn’t mean it. But you had seen how anxious your mom got when she found out the news.
It was 11:23PM, and your mom’s room light was illuminated from the hallway. You get out of bed, ruffle your hair, and approach her room. Your only thought is Wednesday.
-
Before you could even ask, you already noticed her holding a black card, the logo of Nevermore Academy apparent. It said in bolded letters, 1965 Jericho’s long lasting Nevermore Academy. One for outcasts.
“Mom?” You said, your voice slowly quiet, and she looked up at you, waving you over.
“Hi honey,” she replies, “I’ve been thinking about the accident at your school. And I know you don’t like that place that much. And as much as I feel like I should keep you there. Your safety is important to me.”
Your excitement grows, you want to have that wide smile off your face.
“So?...” You question, wondering if she was saying what you were thinking she meant.
“And you keep bringing Wednesday up. So me and Morticia talked, and I talked with your father. We’re going to send you to Nevermore, but only if you want to. As long as you write to us every end of the week and call us. We want our little wolf to meet ones like her. It’s not often you find ones like us here.”
You nod.
“Yes!”
You didn't even think it would be that easy.
-
As soon as you get the news you squeal and call Wednesday early in the morning. She responds almost quickly, her voice on the other line, “What brings you to call me this early Y/N?”
“I’m transferring to Nevermore!” You say, you were much more excited but your tired voice betrayed you.
There’s a pause, then a small, “What?”
“I’m coming!”
A laugh and you can almost feel your girlfriend smiling with a toothy grin with her ear pressed to the phone.
“I knew your parents would let you go somehow,” she says, voice more excited, yet anyone else would not notice but you.
You can hear some rustling, “I’m going to ask Weems if you can dorm with me. I can kick Enid out for all I care, yet she isn’t horrible. Just, I’d rather spend it with you if she doesn’t allow a three dorm. Maybe I shouldn’t bring up a three dorm at all.”
“Thing, go back home and ask Father if Lurch can drive Y/N to Nevermore. Actually, include that if he won’t ask, I’ll shave his head off. Also make sure that he sprays two times of her favorite perfume, have her favorite sour candy ready, her headphones, her books, and tell him to pack some melon milk for her too. And her cow stuffie. Make sure he’s playing the playlist she made that’s saved in the car.”
There is a pause, and she makes a small, ‘oh oh’
“Baby,” Wednesday doesn’t call you that much, but when she does you’re over the moon. It usually shows that she’s happy. Really happy, yet her voice is still soft and composed, “I installed a door behind your clothes in your closet, guess we’ll unwrap the 300 presents when we go home. But I got another Mr. Tuesday there, he has some sort of costume on.”
She pauses, you hear a random girl jumping up and down in the background, squealing about something as your girlfriend groans and presses her ear back into her phone, sending Enid an annoyed glare, “Pack your stuff, I’ll be waiting. I might as well cut my ears off if Enid won’t stop blabbing her mouth off.” You can tell that Wednesday turns her head to face her new roommate, she says louder, since Enid couldn’t hear her talking to you, “Better yet, slice her mouth off.” Then Enid’s squeals die down.
You grin through the phone as you grab out another version of Mr. Tuesday with a mushroom hat, you hug him tight.
The doorbell rings and you hear your mom open it, putting Wednesday on speaker phone.
“I’m almost done packing.”
“Y/N, honey. Mrs. Addams requests to see you,” your mother’s voice echoes through the hallway and you glance at the door.
You don’t know how Wednesday can hear it but she does, “I’m taking into conclusion that she received my message. Oh yes, she replied with those stupid icons. Yet it is one of a thorny rose and a gravestone.”
“Coming!” You stuff your bags, “Be right back.”
-
You almost choke as Morticia brings you into her embrace, hugging her back with an easing gentleness.
“Hello little one,” her soft voice says, the one you find comfort in as much as you do Wednesday’s. She gently rubs your hair, “I informed Lurch for your arrival, he’s outside whenever you’ll be ready dear. I’m so glad you decided to willingly join Nevermore. It has been a place that holds many memories. It’s where I met Gomez and fell in love. Maybe Wednesday and you can find the secrets in it. Go on journeys with her. Dig some graves, set them on fire."
It weird you out, but you smile, nodding, “To spend it with Wednesday is all I need.”
“You’re a special soul, a pure heart I can handle. Now go,” she waves you away, “Don’t keep him waiting for long.”
You give her one last grin and look over your shoulder before turning the corner.
-
After hanging up on Wednesday when you finish packing all your bags, your mother and father hug you goodbye and give you your favorite cranberry juice. Sweet.
It’s cozy in the Addams car, comfortingly with no talk, just the music Wednesday requested (forced) Lurch to play that lingers in your playlist. You feel like a butler with all the requests Wednesday smothered him with.
An hour passes and you can see the way the clouds slightly come into view, then you see the environment change as a sign that reads, “Welcome to Jericho! A Town of History”
Then, you finally see the academy in view, and Lurch arrives right in front, before taking your bags and guiding you to Principal Weems.
“It is my honor to have you here at Nevermore. This school has history, and where you’ll certainly grow,” her smile is wide, a little too welcoming it gets a little scary.
You just give small mumbles and nods, “Well, Morticia called me this morning and I quickly looked through your demographics. It also isn’t a coincidence that you have straight A’s. A 4.3 GPA. Many extracurriculars, and of course, you’re a werewolf. I see.”
“It is no surprise also that you had gone to the same school as another student who just enrolled, Morticia’s daughter, Wednesday. She sure is.. Different. But nonetheless talented. She had asked me yesterday afternoon if it was possible to have a dorm of three, and I’m assuming that you have been planning to dorm with her for the rest of the semester?”
She reads your mind, you immediately nod your head up and down, “Yes.”
“Well, most of the 3 dorms have been occupied, but her and Enid seem to have a slow relationship. I’ll have her in my office today, but by the end of the night or tomorrow morning I’ll give you my answer.” Weems scribbles on a note, writes some address and a name, “You’ll be rooming with Yoko, sound okay?”
You nod.
“Alright, I’ll call Enid up, for your guide.”
“..Guide?”
She nods, “Of course, we have many classes you can do, and people you can meet. She knows this place well, and I know that she’ll open up your shell.”
-
As Wednesday watches Enid leave, a soft grin forms on her face as she unties Thing from the random crocheted pink jacket Enid made for him.
Her eyes scan Enid as the door closes, then she turns to him, “I’m expecting Y/N is here. I’ve crocheted a questionable amount of Mr. Tuesdays.” She informs, “I shouldn’t have admitted that,” Wednesday sighs, as she pulls out the drawer next to her to reveal at least 40 assorted sizes of the same bunny. There were some in outfits, wigs. Wednesday almost finds it as therapeutic as her writing time. She crochets them whenever Enid leaves their dorm.
Thing smacks his head, and the braided girl glares at him, “Don’t judge me, I can cut off your fingers any time,” she threatens, seeing the way Thing surrendered with two fingers up in the air.
Then he moves around his fingers and does random hand movements.
“You think I’d follow Enid and try to make conversation with Y/N so much that Enid will get suspicious? You’d really think I’d do that?”
Thing agrees.
“Then, you know me too well, let’s go.”
-
“Enid, glad you’re- Wednesday? It seems like you’ve tagged along,” Weems adds as she almost seems surprised, looking at her. If anything, the look in her eye is cautious.
“Yes,” Wednesday responds, trying to avoid the way your eyes almost smile as you look at her, but if anyone else were to look at you, they wouldn’t notice. “I’ve decided to accompany Enid, this is much more exciting than some other events at Nevermore,” she adds again, not entirely rude.
You sit in the middle while Wednesday takes the only left seat available, scooches her chair closer. Her hand rubs over yours after meeting under the covers of Weem’s desk. She takes note of how a small smile creeps on your face when Weem talks because of that.
“This is actually so awesome,” the blonde cheers next to you, making you turn your head and turn it, confused.
“We’re both werewolves silly! We should dorm 3 together! Wait, are there even any 3 dorms left?” When the principal shakes her head no, Enid sighs, “Then Wednesday can pair with Yoko. Actually, she barely even talks to Yoko, let alone handle her better than she’ll be able to handle me.”
You blink, glance at Wednesday for a moment and she shakes her head frantically.
“What if I dorm with her?”
The question leaves everyone silent, well everyone is surprised but Wednesday.
“You’d want to room with Wednesday while Enid rooms with Yoko?”
There's a lingering silence as you look around, “Why not? I'd like to get to know her better,” you lie. The most you want to do is get to talk to your girlfriend again.
"Oh. You don't want to, you know, get to know Wednesday before actually having to dorm with her?"
"Nope."
"Well, then that’s settled for your dorm. I’ll have to file Enid for a dorm change. But I’d like to ask if that is okay for both Wednesday and Enid.”
“Yes,” your girlfriend immediately responds, then coughs a little to cover up her excitement that’s masked behind her calm demeanor. “I can take a break from someone that is the complete opposite of me.
“I’d be happy to dorm with Yoko, at least I can have my music playing at night and my glitter-”
“My ears are bleeding Enid, don’t mention that word you just said.”
“Glitter?” Enid questions.
“No.”
You giggle from your girlfriend’s demeanor, squeezing her hand under the desk.
-
“This is Ophiela Hall! You don’t need to find your people here, you can make plenty of friends in other groups, but you have a group of werewolves! And what makes it even better is that we haven’t wolfed out!” Enid jumps up and down and you watch her legs bounce up and down, up and down. She’s like a whole party.
People give you two small looks, both you and Wednesday can tell they’re almost surprised she tagged along with someone whos new. It makes you smile a little.
Your girlfriend notices them whispering about you. Not anything bad, you seem like the sweetest person out of them all, but they’re whispering about the two of you. Even Bianca gives you a cautious look, but you’re too distracted to know what their saying as Enid keeps talking to you and dragging you along. Wednesday follows like a puppy.
“Enid, hey.” A boy speaks up, and you turn around at the new voice, he’s wearing blue and a beanie. The same tie everyone is wearing.
“Oh hi Ajax, this is Y/N. She’s new and I’m showing her around.”
A glare is thrown at Ajax as your girlfriend exhales. You give a small wave, “Hi.”
“You a werewolf too?”
You nod, seeing the way his hat kind of turns sideways, poking some peeking out snakes back into it. That’s scary.
The bell rings and you look around, confused, Enid grabs the paper you stuck in your bag.
“Oh, hey! Your next class is with Wednesday and I, it’s just plant anatomy with Thornhill. Come on.”
-
Somehow Wednesday gets Xaiver to move away from her, so now you’re sitting next to her.
“What the hell is this class?”
“Thornhill just talks about plants. The only entertaining aspect of this is that I like seeing Bianca fail to beat me. Though that goes in almost everything.”
The auburn hair girl turns around, with a wide smile and fairly big glasses for the size of her head.
“It’s a pleasure to have a new student, I’m glad to have you in our third period class Y/N.”
You embarrassingly smile, everyone looking at you, some with smiles and some with just small glances.
“Could you give us the formula on how to turn this plant into a…” Thornhill goes on and you look at the plant, it seems it’s a Ghost Orchid.
You answer almost immediately, and Wednesday nudges you with her foot to almost say a ‘yay.’
Bianca stares at you as Thronhill clasps her hands together, “Exactly, you know your plants well. I’m sure you’ll excel here. Today we’ll have a change of assignments. It’ll be a challenge for duos against other duos and whoever answers first, and correctly for that fact, will earn a point till all the questions run out. Sound easy enough? Alright, let me get my cards ready.”
A knowing smirk grows in between you two, “We’ll win in no time,” Wednesday states, you look at the duos. It’s you and her, Enid and Yoko, Bianca and Divina, and other people you have no clue about, including Xaiver.
The game starts and before Thornhill can even get to the end of the question, you and Wednesday slap the bell, giving out the answer.
“Quick hands,” Xavier mumbles.
“That’s correct! Great job girls.”
The game goes on, and you’re tied with Bianca’s team. The silence can be cut with a knife as the two duos anticipately wait for the question. As Thornhill begins to read out the question, it takes you two a while to know the answer. Bianca and Divina seem stuck.
It’s several moments before the learning in your past catches up to you, slamming the bell and saying out the answer.
“Correct once again! You two win, great job! You can grab a succulent or stick to two pieces of candy that’s probably expired at the end of class.”
You and Wednesday high-five and to say the least, everyone is surprised because the braided-hair girl never let’s anyone touch her.
-
Weeks have past, and you’ve never been happier. Giving ideas for Wednesday’s stories that even she never thought about, helping her crochet more Mr. Tuesdays, so much that she had thing steal a laundry basket from Weem’s office, and even braid her hair and put black ribbons. She’s grateful to have you at Nevermore, her stories have been expanding because of you.
Your always stuck to her side, fencing playfully with her, even willing to go out in the woods with her. But she hasn’t went out since your arrival, knowing that you wouldn’t want to leave her side, and she certainly doesn’t want you getting hurt.
Even you and her worked together designing a matching cat on your black and white pajamas.
It’s fun when you two get to talk about life when you two are in your dorms, even better when you two are on the balcony and watching the stars. Wednesday plays the cello while you sing. She loves that she has someone that she puts her closed-off personality aside for.
“I love it, you look so pretty with bows baby,” you say, tying the ribbon.
“You look pretty with bows or without cara mia.”
“Shut ‘p,” you say, smacking her arm lightly as she wraps her arms around you and rubs your hair.
It’s not long till Weems announce that it’s time for lunch.
Wednesday gets up, signalling you to come with her, but when you don’t, she comes back to sit next to you.
“I’m just looking for my necklace, you can go ahead, it won’t take long, promise.”
She sighs, and nods for a moment, then points at Thing, “Help her.”
Thing waves his hands as she blows a soft air kiss and closes the door.
-
It’s sprinkling a little bit when Wednesday is outside.
“How does Wednesday act so non-hazardous with Y/N? It’s honestly impressive.”
“That’s not impressive, how the hell does she not smack her or give her glares? Do you not see the way her eyes actually look normal when she looks at her? Not even normal, they’re gentle! Plus she was the first to go run and get a bandaid when Y/N accidentally got a paper cut.”
It’s like they summoned the girl, who’s holding a plate of her lunch.
Enid smiles and Wednesday sits down, looking at everyone.
“Are you seriously speaking about me?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“We want to know why the hell you are actually sweet with Y/N.”
“You could’ve used any word besides sweet.”
“Baby-like?”
“Even worse.”
“Don’t dodge the question,” Bianca adds, somehow now being in this conversation, “You killed the biggest spider that was crawling to her, for her.”
“She doesn’t like spiders. Who wouldn’t use not being afraid of spiders to protect someone who is?”
Bianca blinks, then wrinkles her nose, “If it was me you’d certainly let it bite me.”
“Well that’s different.”
Everyone at the table groans, “Exactly!”
“What did I tell you?”
“The only person you’d not let it bite is Y/N, we just want to know why.”
“I’m protecting her because she’s my girlfriend.”
Everyone turns their head to her, “What?”
Enid slams her fists to the table, “I fucking knew it. I knew it! Ajax, you owe me five dollars. I CALLED IT.”
“The Wednesday Addams actually has a girlfriend?”
“Why didn’t we catch on?”
“They’re kinda cute together- don’t even speak or she’ll actually cut your head off if you say cute.”
Everyone is arguing with each other, going crazy. But by the time they cool down and look at where Wednesday was sitting, her seat is empty.
Then everyone looks around and sees her draping her black jacket over your tiny figure, she pulls you closer to her chest as you hold onto her. (Let’s say she’s atleast 4 inches taller than 5’1 in this.) You tug her big jacket over your shoulders as you hug her. She holds onto you and guides you to the table, kissing your forehead and brushing your damp hair.
Even when she comes back, she bends down and takes the butterfly that’s resting on your hair and places it on your hand. “I heard somewhere that if a butterfly lands on you, it means that they see you as a beautiful flower.”
“I never heard that before.”
“I know, I made that up.”
Everyone starts screaming again, making your girlfriend and your heads snap at them.
“Look at them!”
“Aw! So cute!”
“I want to say this is disgusting but they’ll be my roman empire soon enough.”
You turn back to her, seeing her eyes soften, almost happily, "You told them?”
“I didn’t know why they didn’t conclude to that in the beginning.”
Bianca groans, rolling her eyes as everyone is screaming, then Xavier chimes in. "Back to that spider scenario. I definitely think Wednesday would kill it for me."
You glare at him, clinging onto your girlfriend a little more like a koala. She rubs your back as you tighten your arms around her.
"Your sense of self-love is filled with stupidity. I'd kill the spiders that are harmless to you and leave the ones that are most venomous and ugly looking for people like you, have some respect."
Xavier goes quiet, making a defeated grunt.
Everyone does their little, 'awws' again. You turn to her, now that everyone knows about your status.
“At least we can kiss in the hallways?”
“Maybe save that for the dorms.”
“Can we kiss right now?”
Wednesday’s eyebrows lift up, and she sighs, turning you away from the group and giving you a light kiss, as your lips press together, she nudges a small Mr. Tuesday now with inverted colors, a black bunny. They're both holding hearts and have a star over their head.
"Now Mr. Tuesday has a Mr. Wednesday," she says softly, tucking her black jacket tighter around you as you continue hugging her.
"And Miss. Y/L/N has a Miss. Addams."
#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega x fem!reader#jenna ortega x you#tara carpenter x reader#jenna ortega imagine#vada cavell x reader#tara carpenter x you#jenna marie ortega#jenna ortega x y/n#vada cavell x y/n#wednesday addams x you#wednesday addams x reader
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Stu Macher x Fem!Reader where they are dating but the readers parents hate him so one night are 2:33 am Stu knocks on the readers window and she opens it it tells him to leave but before she can get a word out Stu is kissing her and telling her how much he misses her and one thing lead to, and so Stu had to push the readers head into her pillow so she didn’t wake anyone.
Sorry if the store request does not make any sense i’ve been wanting to request something from you for a while and this idea kinda came to my brain as I was falling asleep at four in the morning so I am very sleep deprived lol anyways I love your story. I hope you have a great day
Surprise Baby
Genre: Fluff & Smut
Warnings: +18 content, clingy and soft Stu, dirty talk, degrading, cursing, dom!Stu, p in v (w/o protection), sad Stu at the end (reader comforts him)
Word Count: 1,8k
A/N: This was actually a very interesting request and Ik very well that our daydreams before we sleep are the best 🤭 I added something to the plot at the end, so I hope you still like it! Tysm, I'm so glad you like my writing! It always feels so gratifying whenever you guys tell me that <33
Right now you're lying on your bed crying, while hugging your favorite bunny plush that Stu gave you for Valentine's Day. You'd just had an argument with your parents, since they weren't the biggest fans and supporters of your relationship with your boyfriend Stu Macher. You didn't understand why they didn't like him and didn't even make an effort to, even though Stu always made you happy and made your life more colorful and enjoyable from the moment you met him. Of course Stu had his flaws like everyone else, since perfection is impossible to achieve and that was fine by you. But not for your parents. They said that Stu distracted you from school, that he "lived" for parties and didn't give you your "precious" time to concentrate on your studies, because he always took you on dates so that he could spend more time with you, even when you said you were busy.
You perfectly knew that Stu wasn't a guy who would take "no" for an answer. Maybe it was because he'd always been spoiled by his parents and didn't understand the meaning of that word? Maybe he hated the fact that you would say "no" to him, because if you truly love him as you always say, why would you reject an opportunity to go out with him? Both answers to those questions are probably correct, because you knew that Stu didn't know how to respect your personal space either, not that you minded anyway. But your parents did and that was the problem. They even told you once that Stu was obsessed with you and that your personal life has also become his, as if it were his property. Maybe they were right about that, but that's how Stu showed how much he loved and cared for you and it always worked well in your relationship. And you really missed him.
Sleep didn't want to make its presence known, so you decided to watch your favorite show on your new tv. However, you still couldn't stop thinking about the argument with your parents. Of course you defended your boyfriend and were always on his side to protect him against anyone, even your own parents, but it did made you very upset... all you wanted was for your family to see how genuinely happy Stu makes you feel, how he always admired you and treated you as if you were the only woman to walk on earth and how he's so funny that it's practically impossible not to laugh because of some silly joke he's made until your cheeks hurt. You just wished your family accepted him and loved him as much as you did...
Your thoughts were suddenly interrupted when you heard your window being knocked on repeatedly. You screamed for a second, because you weren't expecting that to happen in the middle of the cold night. Nevertheless, you immediately felt relieved when you saw Stu standing there with his puppy eyes and big smile on his handsome face you loved so much. A wide smile appeared on your face the moment you realized your boyfriend wanted to surprise you and that he had actually made an effort to see you.
His giant body barely fit through your window and the way he clumsily tried to get into your room, like a cartoon thief, made you laugh until your belly started to get sore.
"Baby, what are you doing?? It's cold outside!" you asked worriedly, before you watched him fall face down on the floor as he let out an "ouch". You couldn't stop laughing at his poor attempt to sneak into your room, as he already knew that your parents would never let him in, especially so late at night. You looked over your bedside table, where your alarm clock was, to see what time it was, as it marked 2:33 am.
"Surprisee baby!" he shouted excitedly, with a contagious smile that didn't leave his face for a moment. His breathing was accelerated, which made you realize he had some trouble climbing up to your window. You felt your heart warming at his romantic gesture, yet you didn't want your parents to find out and kick him out of your house or worse.
"Be quiet babe, you're not supposed to be here! You need to leave Stu, my parents are gonna ki-" you were really worried about your boyfriend's safety, but Stu didn't give you a chance to finish your sentence, as he grabbed you firmly around your waist and began kissing you passionately with his long, skilled tongue. His hands were all over your body and his grip was tight, not allowing you to move away from him.
"Shh- don't worry about them. It's just us now. I've missed you so much, baby." he admitted, before kissing your neck eagerly. When he he'd had enough, he pulled you up by your hips and laid you down on your bed, his mouth never leaving yours. You couldn't help moaning as you felt his sweet, loving assaults on your body, his lips and big hands making you melt into his addictive touch.
"Love, we have to be quiet... and you're making it hard for me." by now you were feeling breathless, unable to contain your desire for your horny and needy boyfriend. Instinctively, you rubbed against Stu's crotch which made him groan in pleasure, as you could feel him already hard under his jeans. He began to gently pinch your nipples through the fabric of your short pajama top, enjoying and closely analyzing your reactions to his teasing touch.
"Looks like I have to shut you up so we don't get caught, baby..." the last thing you saw was a mischievous grin on your boyfriend's face, before he firmly turned you around so that you were on all fours for him. He pressed his erection against your ass, while his eyes rolled back as he put his head back from the stimulation and his mouth was slightly open. You were starting to enjoy this game way too much, to see who couldn't hold back their moans, and you made sure you would win this battle. You pushed your ass against him and started rolling your hips in a provocative way, knowing that Stu wouldn't be able to hold it much longer. He bit his lips at this and frowned, realizing what you were trying to do to him.
"My girl really wants to get some, huh? You wanna play dirty, doll? Do you really think you can win this game against me?" he laughed trying to mock you, making you feel pathetic if you really thought you could stay quiet with the way he was about to fuck you.
"Just fuck me already Stu, I can't hold it much longer..." you quickly gave up and decided to beg him for mercy, so you could feel him inside you for once. You were dripping by now and the thought of having to keep quiet so no one would catch you at such a vulnerable and intimate moment turned you on even more for some reason.
You finally felt him give you want you wanted, since Stu himself wasn't a very self-controlled guy when it came to you. You felt his tongue lick a long, firm strip from your throbbing clit to your pulsing, empty hole. This made you grip your pillow as hard as you could while he ate you out from behind. Unfortunately, it didn't last much longer like you'd hoped, as you didn't realize how horny and impatient Stu was feeling that night. Suddenly, you felt his fully erect cock enter you without any resistance, sliding easily into you because you were so wet with your cum and his saliva. He didn't give you any time to adjust to him as he usually did and started pounding you hard and fast. He knew you all too well, so he pushed your face against your pillow to prevent any sound coming out of your pretty mouth and kept his strong hand on your head. You prayed that no one would hear you both fucking like horny teenagers who can't control their sexual hormones. It wasn't your fault that you and Stu were so fucking attracted to each other and that your shared love was considered obsessive, right?
"You like that, don't you babygirl? You love it when I fuck you like this... You needy slut, can't get enough of your boyfriend's cock inside your tight hole. I bet your parents would be so embarrassed if they saw you getting fucked this good." he whispered in your ear before changing his angle to fuck you deeper. Wet sounds, your muffled moans and his heavy breathing were the only sounds being heard in your room, turning you both on even more. It didn't last much longer when you both came at the same time, since Stu was way too horny to hold his orgasm. He was so glad he'd made you cum before he climaxed inside you.
After the moment of ecstasy you both experienced, you lay there trying to catch your breath while staring at the ceiling. It was then that Stu pulled you closer to him and hid his face on your neck, clinging to you more than usual. He was acting way too needy and clingy, and wasn't trying to be the "dominant" one, which made you worry about him.
"Are you ok, love? Do you wanna talk about it?" you asked him softly as you caressed his hair and cheeks. You knew him too well to recognize whenever he wasn't feeling good, even when he was trying to hide it.
"My girl knows me so well." he chuckled weakly, trying to find the right words to tell you what was had been bothering him. After a moment of silence in which you tried to comfort him with your tender touches, he finally spoke. "My parents won't be able to make it for my birthday. Again." your heart ached for him, because you knew this problem had happened before. Although Stu's parents loved him and treated him right, they had never been very present throughout his life and that took a tool on his emotional behavior. That explained why he was so addicted to your attention and wanted you all to himself, all the time. It made you really sad that you couldn't help your boyfriend properly, because the presence of anyone's parents is irreplaceable.
"I'm so sorry to hear that, baby. I'm sure they're extremely busy with work and that's the only reason for their absence on such a special day. We both know that they love you and I'll be there for you to make sure you have the biggest party ever." you gently grabbed his face and smiled warmly at him, admiring his ocean eyes that reminded you of the maldivian water, as he stared back at you with pure love.
"I know you will. What would I do without you? You're the love of my life, you know that right?" you chuckled as you softly kissed his cute nose.
"I love you too, Stu... so much. You have no idea of how much love I have for you and no one ever will."
#stu macher smut#stu macher fanfiction#stu macher imagine#stu macher fanfic#stu macher scream#stu macher x reader#stu macher#matthew lillard smut#matthew lillard imagine#scream 1 smut#scream 1996 smut#stu macher fic#stu macher x you#stu macher x female reader#stu macher x y/n#stu matcher x you#stu matcher x reader#stu matcher imagine#matthew lillard x reader#fic request#reader x character
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divorce? hell nah // logan howlett x fem!mutant!reader
Summary: You’d been fighting a lot with your husband Logan lately over pointless stuff, so Laura is worried about the future of her parent’s relationship. So are you.
Warnings: stupid fights, cursing, angst, reader dealing with depression, Logan being the best daddy and husband. Mentions of anxiety, family and work drama. Laura being your daughter so found family. Happy ending, mentions of smut.
Words: 2.5k.
A/N: Once again, a reminder that english is not my first language so I’m sorry if there is a mistake. This takes place in the world of Logan (2017) but everyone’s fine of course, let’s pretend that no one is dy1ng and you adopted Laura. I had a dream about this so enjoy, I wrote it so fast before I forgot it. Love y’all! <3 ALSO, you can read this with my previous Logan fic TRAINING SEASON, this is them in the future.
italics = past.
— — —
“Logan we need to stop fighting like this over stupid shit” you exhaled tired of this. Lately you've been fighting a lot with Logan, so frequent that it feels weird to you. Because not even when you were younger you remember fighting so much, and 80% of the time it was over meaningless stuff.
The day was over, so both of you were doing your night routine to go to bed. The nostalgia of a sunday night is all over the air. Logan just joined you after putting Laura to sleep, he closed the door of your shared room. You’ve been trying to get up from the bed but the day was really exhausting mentally for you.
Logan wanted to add that the last fight was you that started it but he held himself to make it worse because it would not add anything mentioning that right now. It was already in the past. “Yeah, I agree.” He just nods and stands far away from you with his hands resting on his hips, he’s looking at the floor thinking for a solution.
You are aware you are not at your best moment, you are dealing with so much lately. You are all the time worried about your family drama, then there are so many things changing at work that are stressing you out too. Also, of course the daily worries that include having a family.
Logan is aware of this tough moment you are going through and he’s always there to support you, to have a shoulder to cry on, all ears for you so you don’t have to hold anything in your mind. That’s also what you did when he’s dealing with shitty things.
But lately, god, everything seems to get on your nerves for the both of you. Sometimes the clothes are all spread on the floor, or when you arrived late from work and there is nothing on the fridge left to eat, or when Logan tries to defend Laura for something that really needs a punishment, etc. And it doesn’t help when you had a shitty day at work or keep receiving bad news from your family, so sometimes you just explode and Logan is also mad or had a shitty day so that’s when the fights start.
“We really need to stop, Laura's been asking if we are okay” you told him with tears in your eyes. “When you went for a run in the morning, she came here to our room and laid next to me in bed so we had breakfast together and she looked under the weather, like she was not having a good time even when we had sweet treats and stuff…” you started to tell him about what happened earlier. “So I asked her if everything was alright and she looked right into my eyes and with a sad face she asked me if we were going to divorce- and- I told you Lo it was the most heartbreaking thing she could possibly ask me and…” you started to sob by remembering that conversation.
Logan is now sitting next to you at the end of the bed. Holding your hand close to him, all of his attention to you. “And I was so shocked so I put my hands on her face holding her to really pay attention to what I was about to say…” you continued.
“No, baby. Why are you asking that? Your dad and I love each other so much, and both of us love you so so so so much. We are not getting divorced” you held her face trying your best not to cry in front of her, the thought of being apart from the little family you had with Logan made you sad.
“I’m asking because last night I heard you guys fighting, I mean you were raising your voices and then dad closed the door really hard. And it’s not the first time” Laura confessed and you felt bad that she had to listen to you argue. “Last week when I was outside playing with Franky I also heard both of you yelling”.
“I’m sorry, baby. You should not have witnessed that, don’t worry. With your dad we’re okay” you caressed her hair to give her some calm to her mind.
”My friend Dani told me that it happened the same to their parents that are divorced now. So I’m scared that one day dad will leave us just like Dani’s dad” Laura told you with tears in her eyes just at the thought of her dad leaving her and her mom.
That’s when your heart broke into a million pieces. You kept telling her not to worry, that you were having pointless arguments. You didn’t want to tell her about your problems at work and with your family because she’s a little girl, she should be worried about school and having fun as a kid and not about divorce and her dad leaving.
So once you noticed she calmed down, you stayed in bed the whole morning and watched a movie together with Franky on Laura’s lap. The dog she adopted never leaves her side especially if he senses that she’s sad.
And also you made up your mind that things needed to change, to stop these stupid fights with your husband.
You told Logan about what happened in the morning when he left for his daily workout. Not wanting to tell him during the day because Laura is so concentrated on every attitude of both of you. That’s why you are telling him now that she went to sleep. Logan sighs like never before, like he was holding his breath the whole time you were talking, but never letting go of your hands together. “I know our daughter is smart and so empathetic just like you, so I get why she’s worried. I had to admit that I closed the door so hard, that’s on me. We need to stop fighting over bullshit, babe. We need to fix this, but I’m not leaving you guys”. Logan let go of your hand to stand in front of you squatting down holding your knees, “I’ll NEVER leave you, you hear me? We had been through so much worse, remember? And we made it because I fucking love you and I know you love me”. Logan reassured you too in case the same thought that Laura has is placed in your mind too.
You caressed his cheek and looked into those beautiful eyes of his, “I love our family, Logan. Like you said we made it through so much worse, I’m sorry I’ve been irritated lately. That’s on me, I’m going to do my best” tears flowing down your face. Logan quickly wiped them off.
“Babe, I’m right here. I don’t know why but when you’re in a dark time you always felt free to cry and told me about it but this time it feels like you’re holding all of this sadness to bury it deep down. What 's going on? What changed?” Logan asked with curiosity because you’ve been together for years.
“I don’t know, Lo. Maybe the hormones, maybe I don’t want to be a burden for you guys. Like I have to be strong for Laura, she’s my number one priority right now and she had an awful life before she found us so I don’t want to give her all of my shit, she’s a kid. Like I said, she should be worried about school and having the childhood she deserves” you poured your heart out to your husband.
“My love you’ll never be a burden for me, you hear me? I need you to say it so that you understand. Besides, Laura needs to see us sad too, we can’t lie to her that life is all the time just joy. I’m not saying to tell her all of our problems, but that is valid if we feel some kind of way, we would be faking if we were smiling or just okay all the time”. Logan, the angry wolverine you used to know was gone the moment he met you back then in Charles’s mansion. Anger stopped being his only emotion, you made him feel in that same moment that he was always going to be able to show his real emotions and stopped playing this character of the angry and intimidating man.
“I understand, Lo”. You finally gave him a smile. It is not fair for you to struggle alone and let go of this stress by fighting. You really need to start saying what’s going on, and Logan is always going to be there for it. Just by thinking of the huge difference of the fights you used to have in the past, a small laugh escaped your mouth. Logan looks at you surprised but happy that you got something off your chest.
“What’s on your mind now, sugar?” Logan asked curiously.
“I just remember the things we used to fight when we started dating, I mean we were younger and sometimes really stupid. And also the fights we used to have for mistakes we made on missions. We still fight when the other is on the field out there in danger, the worry about losing the other one always starts an argument…” you answered.
“Yeah but those always ended up with a make out session…” Logan gave you a flirty grin, his dirty mind already enjoying the memories. To be honest, after a mission with or without an argument it always ends with both of you giving each other so much pleasure and comfort for being safe and sound.
“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! THAT WAS WAY TO DANGEROUS!!” Logan losing his mind because you almost got killed out there.
“I HAD TO DO IT, I COULDN’T LEAVE THEM RIGHT THERE!!” you explained yourself why you came back to the field and risked your life. “IF I DIDN’T HELP THEM, NOBODY’S WAS GOING TO!”.
God, your empathy is one of Logan’s favorite things about you, but more than once it has given him almost a heart attack.
“NOT ALL THE TIMES WE CAN SAVE THEM ALL, I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT. I CAN’T LOSE YOU, PRINCESS” Logan holding your shoulders steady.
Once you were back at the mansion, and in the privacy of your shared room, Logan wanted to keep talking about the risk you made, but you just wanted to take a shower to take off all of the work done. “Honey, I’m right here in one piece. I’m fine” you brushed his hair with your fingers to calm him down. Trying to get a smile from him.
“I insist, I can’t lose you. You’ll be freaking out too if it was me in your position” Logan raised his brow knowing you’ll be worried too about him.
“I know, I’ll be way worse hysterical” you admitted, but at the same time just trying to calm him down. Right now both of you need to relax after a hard mission. You kept brushing his hair until he stopped talking and just leaned into your touch. Both of you ended up taking a bath together and stayed all afternoon in the sheets making love. Other times the fights after missions didn’t seem to stop and led to angry sex.
“Now that you said that, it reminds me of Laura explaining to me something she realized when she heard us fighting last night and…” you started laughing but also felt guilty.
“I’m sorry, honey. We didn’t mean to raise our voices, we didn’t mean for you to hear us but sometimes with your dad we had our differences. But everything is fine now, we talked about it and it’s okay now” you didn’t lie. One thing you and Logan hate is to go to bed angry, it’s also true that you didn’t want Laura to hear it.
“Yeah, I know you were fighting because it wasn’t the happy screams you and dad make at night sometimes”. Laura said with the innocent intention a kid has. You almost choked on your cup of tea.
You don’t know if it was because of her powers that she heard the happy screams she’s talking about, because the house is huge and her room is not that close to your shared room. And since she arrived, every time you have sex with Logan both of you are really aware that there is someone else in the house so you keep your voice low and always lock the door. You don’t want to traumatize your daughter.
Not like before having kids, or when Laura is staying the night somewhere else, that Logan asks you to be loud so the neighbors can hear his name.
“Are you fucking kidding me she said that?” Logan laughing at your face, red like a tomato.
“Don’t laugh at that, Lo! It was so embarrassing to explain to her that it was a conversation for another day…” you hid your face in your palms, Logan still teasing you about your sudden shyness. “So I told her that her daddy was going to explain someday when she was older why adults make those happy screams” now you are teasing him because his face almost dropped. Already anxious about how he’s going to explain to his daughter how babies come to the world and all that stuff.
“Nope, because she’s never going to grow up. She'll always be our little girl” he tried to convince himself about that. You gave him a pat on his back that he can handle that.
“Our little girl is almost 12, babe. So you’ll have to have THAT talk sooner that you think with her. But don’t worry I’m sure you’re going to nail that because you are the best daddy”. You assured him.
God, you can picture in your mind the reaction of Logan when teenager Laura will bring her first partner. You’ll need to be there for him because your daughter is about to experience a lot of things and your husband will need your help.
“Don’t be a brat with me please, sweetheart I’m begging you” Logan easily put you on his lap, brushing your hair out of your face. “What if instead of giving me more anxiety you help me get rid of that anxiety we’ve been dealing with lately?” he kissed your neck, his breath so warm against your skin.
“What do you suggest, big boy?” his hand now traveling down your spine and you hold his face close to your chest, Logan leaving kisses on top of your clothed breasts. God, you miss this, you miss him being this closer.
“Maybe a bath or I can fuck you like this right now but we have to be really careful with the noises, especially you doll. I know you like to scream my name and how good I make you feel” Logan already taking his shirt off to whatever option you are down to. You smacked his toned chest at the insinuation, pulling him closer to kiss you with the eagerness you missed so much. He lifted you from your spot heading to take that bath, it was going to be a long night and tomorrow morning you both need to be up early to drop Laura off at school.
#logan howlett#james logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett fic#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x mutant reader#dad!logan howlett#wolverine#x men#logan howlett angst#logan howlett smut#logan howlett fluff#mutant reader#found family#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#laura x23#logan 2017#x men fic#wolverine fic
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(🎄) ... mirth and good cheer - xmas special
⭐ starring: vernon
🎄preview: vernon used to fly back to new york every christmas for one reason only: his childhood best friend. christmas used to be his and y/n’s thing, until he got seemingly too busy to ever return. now, as y/n departs to korea for the first time, she can’t help but wonder if her and vernon would ever cross paths again. vernon, unbeknownst to her, has been wondering the exact same thing. as the boys set up their christmas tree in their dorm, he does his best to ignore how hints of y/n still seemed to linger throughout the holiday air.
tw/cw: idol!vernon x nonidol!reader, childhood friends to lovers, estranged friends, slight miscommunication, fluff, slight angst, best christmas romcom vibes, features svt members, stubborn!reader, equallystubborn!vernon, use of y/n, flips between past and present day
☁️ masterlist & a/n: dropping a vernon x reader fic for our xmas special! doesn't vernon just scream childhood bestie to lover (੭˃ᴗ˂)੭ merry christmas my loves!
11 DAYS FROM CHRISTMAS 2024:
“That’s not how it’s supposed to work.” Mingyu slapped Vernon’s hand away from the tree they were decorating. “It’s supposed to be symmetrical, not whatever you’re doing.”
Vernon had to admit he wasn’t really paying attention. Their dorm auntie, the one who came around once a week to clean up the place, had baked them gingerbread men as a Christmas gift, and the smell felt like it had seeped into the walls of their dorm. It was a nostalgic smell, one that took him back to his childhood, new york and-
“Vernon?” Mingyu waved a hand in front of his face. “Are you even listening right now?”
He blinked, brought back from his thoughts. “Sorry, hyung. What?”
Mingyu could only let out a deep sigh, moving to place the bauble where he intended it to be. “You’re like this every Christmas. If you miss her so much, why don’t you just fly back?”
Vernon didn’t really know why he wasn’t flying back. He certainly could be, they were off work for the holidays and a plane ticket back wasn’t hard to find. He would be doing himself a favor, putting himself out of misery and finally seeing his childhood best friend. The thing was, he wasn’t really sure if Y/N wanted to see him. He shrugged. “I don’t miss her.” It was a lie and everyone in the room knew it.
CHRISTMAS DAY 2003:
Everyone who knew either of them would say they were smart kids for their age. Both only five, they whispered secrets to each other like little middle schoolers would on the playground.
“My parents say I’m going to Korea.” Vernon whispered to Y/N as they watched a christmas movie. “Forever.” Vernon always had a dramatic, theatrical side to him, even as a child.
Y/N could only frown. “Forever? Why?” She couldn’t imagine her best friend moving anywhere without her. “Am I going too?”
Vernon mirrored her frown on his own face. “I don’t know.” Sensing her sadness, he reached over and gave her a hug. “I’ll visit every year.” He promised.
“Every christmas.” Y/N insisted. She had always loved christmas above all else. “So we can watch movies again.”
Vernon agreed. “Okay. Every christmas. It’ll be like-” He paused, his young mind searching for the word. “Tradition.” He smiled at her, proud of the big word.
“Promise?” Y/N stared at him with wide eyes, reaching out with her pinky, extended. “Pinky promise me.”
Vernon grasped her pinky with his, shaking it firmly. He felt like a grown up, making one of those important business deals. “I promise.” Turning back to the screen, he let out a whine when he realized they had missed the best part. “We missed the part where the grinch screams down the mountain.” He complained. “I wanted to watch that part.”
Y/N got up, searching for the remote. “I’ll turn it back.”
Their dynamic never changed, even as they grew older. Vernon walked through life, Y/N following behind him with eyes filled with admiration, gently nudging the boy whenever he got distracted and began walking off-track. It stayed that way even with the distance, until one Christmas, Y/N woke up and Vernon had not returned.
CHRISTMAS DAY 2016:
“Mom?” Y/N called as she walked slowly down the stairs. She had returned home from university for the holidays and was confused when Vernon wasn’t at his usual spot to welcome her home. “Where’s Vernon?” He was usually back from Korea by now.
She didn’t like the look of pity her mother was giving her. “He didn’t tell you, honey? He’s been so busy with work, looks like he can’t fly back to join us for christmas this year.”
She felt her heart sink. She had been looking forward to spending time with him, even if it was just a couple of days out of the year. “Oh.” Of course, she understood. His work was important and she was sure the kpop industry couldn’t be easy. “That’s okay. I guess he must’ve been too busy to tell me.”
--
“What are you still doing here?” Joshua frowned at Vernon, who was lying down on his bed. “Shouldn’t you be in New York by now?” He was used to Vernon flying back to New York every christmas since they had met.
Vernon let out a huff. “Not going back this year, Josh.”
“Why not?” His friend pressed, confused. Vernon was usually so excited to go back. “Isn’t your friend going to be sad?”
“I can’t miss any more practice before our comeback. One Christmas should be fine.” Vernon explained, although his voice betrayed his disappointment. He had been looking forward to going back home, to be able to see Y/N again. He thought to himself that one christmas couldn’t hurt, right?
One Christmas missed turned into two. Then four. Then the timing felt too long and awkward and Vernon just never got the confidence to ever go back.
10 DAYS FROM CHRISTMAS 2024:
Korea was beautiful underneath a sheet of snow. Y/N had landed last night, having made up her mind to give living in Korea a try. Ever since graduating university and landing a job as a screenwriter, her friends and family had always urged her to try working for the Korean film scene.
She supposed she had always just avoided the country because of Vernon.
Her new job writing for some K-drama started after New Years. She thought maybe spending Christmas in a new place would bring back the mirth and good cheer the holiday used to give her, but she knew she was here for a different reason. A selfish and pathetic one. It burned her, that a part of her still wished to bump into Vernon after all these years. She knew he was doing well, SEVENTEEN was soaring through new heights and she had kept tabs on his ongoing success. It was the only way she kept going: his large internet presence sometimes made it feel like he never even left at all.
It hurt her the most that he could be doing so well without ever seeing her again.
Rounding the corner to the coffee shop, she rubbed her raw hands to regain heat. Ordering, she was relieved to find out she could still hold a conversation in Korean. It had gone rusty, the only people she ever used Korean with back home was Vernon’s dad and sister.
“Hello?” Someone from behind her tapped her on the shoulder. “Do I know you from somewhere?”
She was greeted by a slightly taller, blond man, sporting black rimmed glasses and holding a cup of iced coffee. Her mind short circuiting a bit from the sudden Korean, she paused, trying to recollect her thoughts before replying. “I don’t think so?”
The man’s eyes widened in sudden recognition. “You’re the girl in the Christmas photos!” He exclaimed with wonder, pointing at her as if they were long lost friends.
She squinted, giving him another look over. “Um..” She frowned, quite sure she didn’t know this man.
“Sorry.” He smiled sheepishly at her, extending his hand for a handshake. “That probably came out wrong. You’re Vernon’s friend from New York, right? I’ve seen you in the pictures on his wall.”
She blanched, all of a sudden feeling very light and disoriented. “I’m sorry.” She smiled politely, still racking her brain furiously for the guy’s name. “How do you know Vernon?”
“I’m Seungkwan.” He explained, dropping her hand. “Vernon’s bandmate.”
She let out a sound of realization. “Ah~” She knew who he was. “Seungkwan. Sorry, I didn’t expect you to have blonde hair now.”
Chuckling at her shy admission, Seungkwan felt strangely sad to see the girl in Korea. “When did you come to Korea?” He asked, knowing Vernon would lose his shit if he found out they had been in the same location for a while.
“I arrived just last night.”
He left out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. Okay, at least it hadn’t been very long. “You should come to our Christmas party.” He suggested, knowing Vernon would be there. “It’s being hosted at Coups hyung’s house this year, and everyone will be there.”
Y/N shook her head. “I wouldn’t want to make things weird.” She already caught on to the fact that Seungkwan knew all about her and Vernon’s falling out, or lack of one.
“You wouldn’t.” He insisted. “You must come. I’d hate to see you spend Christmas by yourself.”
It didn’t take much for Y/N to relent. She supposed a part of her had been looking for a chance to see Vernon again. “Alright. I’ll stop by and say a quick hi to everyone.”
Seungkwan’s smile was contagious as he beamed, grabbing a napkin to scribble Scoups’ address onto it and handing it to her. “It’s at 7pm on the 24th. Bring a present- something small.” He hurriedly gave her all the details as he left, mumbling about being late for a company meeting and how lovely it was to finally meet Vernon’s mystery girl.
Holding the napkin in her still freezing hand, Y/N felt utterly shipwrecked as she watched Seungkwan leave. Nine days was enough to prepare her heart to see Vernon again, right?
12 HOURS TILL CHRISTMAS 2024:
The frost in the air bit at Y/N’s face and neck as she quickly rang the doorbell to Seungcheol’s home. It was smaller than she had expected it to be, homey and comfortably situated in between two other larger houses.
“Y/N!” Seungkwan greeted her as he opened the door, tugging her in. “Oh, look at you. You must be freezing. Come in, come in.” Taking her coat from her and hanging it up, he beamed down at her. “I’m so glad you actually came.”
She bit back a smile, taking off her shoes. “I couldn’t turn down an invitation from Vernon’s friends.”
“Vernon’s in the living room with the others.” Seungkwan pointed down the hall, directing her over.
Y/N paused, loitering in the hallway between the door to the living room and the door to the kitchen. She felt strangely pulled towards the kitchen, knowing it’d be safe without the chance of a potential run-in with Vernon. Turning decisively towards the kitchen, she pretended not to hear Seungkwan’s deep sigh as he followed her in, knowing the boy was disappointed she had run away.
“It’s the girl from Vernon’s photos!” Hoshi sprung off the kitchen island to greet her, handing her a cup of mystery liquid.
She sniffed it before cringing away at the strong liquor scent. “That’s me.” She mumbled, shoulders sagging a little. “Does he really still have photos of me up?
Everyone in the kitchen nodded simultaneously. “It’s been on his wall since we were trainees.” Joshua informed her, his eyes holding a teasing glint. “Every time we move places he just puts it back up.”
Y/N didn’t really know what to do with that information. “Oh.” She replied, looking down in her cup, thinking. “I didn’t know that.”
Seungkwan let out a loud sigh once again. “You should go talk to him.”
She looked up.
“Please.” He added, his tone bordering on begging. “He’s been so grumpy. Especially during the holiday season. I got a pillow to the face for asking him a simple question yesterday.” He grumbled out, complaining about his moody roommate.
“What did you ask him?” Joshua asked, mildly curious.
Seungkwan shrugged. “Just if he was going back to New York.”
“Of course he threw a pillow at you.” Joshua rolled his eyes. “I’m surprised he didn’t just deck you, with how you were antagonizing him. You know very well he hasn’t gone back in years.”
Y/N watched the conversation silently, gagging quietly as she sipped the concoction Hoshi had handed her. She absorbed the information diligently, her eyes widening the more information she got on Vernon. Distance had turned him into a stranger - and now, well, she couldn’t really say she knew him at all. It was strange, having to admit someone she used to read like the back of her own hand was someone she now didn’t know at all.
“I’m going to the living room.” She decided, having had enough of the topic. If she kept listening to them talk about Vernon’s struggles and heartache about leaving her in New York one more minute she might find herself leaving for the night. Being in the same room with Vernon was just going to be awkward silence anyways. She knew he wasn’t brave enough to approach her. At least not tonight.
--
“Y/N!”
It was Mingyu and Wonwoo who greeted her from the couch, the two of them in the middle of an intense round of what looked to be Mariokart. They waved at her from their place, inviting her over to sit next to them. She was painfully aware of Vernon’s eyes staring at her from his place on the rug, fingers busy with a random puzzle that was lying out.
“Hi guys.” She smiled, sitting down, laughing when Mingyu pushed Wonwoo in an attempt to disrupt his driving.
“We didn’t know you were in Korea for Christmas!” Mingyu exclaimed. “Good thing Seungkwan bumped into you when he did and invited you over.”
She glanced at Vernon, who was doing his best to pretend like he wasn’t interested in their conversation. “Yeah. I moved here recently actually. Got a job writing for a TV show.”
Vernon’s eyes widened as he fixed his stare against the white rug.
“That’s cool.” Wonwoo smiled at Y/N, happy for her. “It’s good that you’re in Korea now.” He side eyed Vernon, frowning when he realized the boy hadn’t even spoken to Y/N. Nudging him with his foot, he gestured with his gaze. “Did you hear Vernon? Y/N got a job here.”
Vernon nodded stiffly before standing up. “I think Cheol hyung’s calling me, I’ll- I’ll go see what he wants.” And just like that he was gone, rushing out of the living room.
Wonwoo looked apologetically at Y/N. “I’m sorry about that.”
She shrugged, although her heart had cracked at the movement. “It’s okay.”
“Maybe now that you’re in Korea you guys can be friends again?” Mingyu suggested quietly, although a part of him wasn’t really certain about it. “Maybe?”
“Maybe.” She mumbled, taking another sip of her drink, feeling her face flush with heat. Anger or embarrassment, she couldn’t tell.
Maybe it was the alcohol speaking, but Y/N could feel her lips start to loosen the more she sat with Mingyu and Wonwoo, the party heading later into the night.
“You know I used to hate you guys.” She admitted all of a sudden, jolting both boys out of whatever conversation they were having.
“What?” Wonwoo frowned. “Why?”
“I hated Vernon for choosing you guys over me.” She lowered her eyes to the floor, feeling ashamed. “I know it’s childish of me, but hating you guys was how I dealt with it. I couldn’t bring myself to hate Vernon for his own actions.”
Mingyu looked at her with sad eyes as he patted her on the back gently. “I get that.” He reassured her, and she looked over at Wonwoo who was nodding as well.
“Do you still hate us?” Wonwoo asked, his voice calm.
She shook her head. “No. So I guess I’m just-” She paused. “Confused now.”
She hated how pitiful their looks made her feel as she sat there, nursing her half finished drink, mind spinning. Perhaps it was time to leave her silly childhood infatuation with Vernon in the past. It seemed like he had done so already anyways.
10 HOURS TILL CHRISTMAS 2024:
Vernon felt like throwing up the moment he saw Y/N enter the party. It felt like a vision, something he had conjured up within his own mind, until the others had greeted her and shattered his vision into reality.
“Talk to her, you moron.” Seungkwan nudged him. He had retreated from the living room into the kitchen the moment Y/N had sat down with the others on the couch. It physically stung to be in the same room as her, with all the knowledge that he had failed her and their once cherished friendship.
He took another gulp of his drink instead of answering Seungkwan.
“She clearly still loves you, y’know.” The boy continued upon hearing Vernon’s silence. “Or else she wouldn’t be here. And didn’t you always tell us Y/N would follow you around like a puppy whenever you were back home as kids?”
Screw Seungkwan and his amazing, awfully selective memory.
“So?” Vernon mumbled, rolling his shoulders back and feeling himself tense. “Things change.”
“You’ve changed.”
Vernon stared at his friend, thrown off by the sudden harsh truths. “What?”
“I don’t think she’s changed at all, Vernon.” Seungkwan observed. “It’s you who’s changed and you who has to fix it.” He paused. “Or at least explain it to her. Why you don’t want to be friends anymore.”
“I do want to be friends.” He stated plainly.
Seungkwan cut his eyes at him, exasperated. “Then tell her that. Jeez, bro. You suck at this.”
“We’re swapping presents now!” Seungcheol poked his head out from behind the hallway door. “Everyone in the living room!”
Vernon grabbed his present from the counter and headed in behind Seungkwan and Joshua, turning the box in his hands as he examined the poor wrapping job he had done last night. He had bought the most generic gift he could find, knowing it was going to be a random swap with the boys. The thing he hadn’t accounted for was Y/N showing up - and now it had thrown both his present and him off the game.
“Grab a pair.” Seungcheol announced loudly to everyone in the room, as there was a mad scramble for partners.
Vernon found himself standing alone in the midst of his bandmates all already coupled up, limbs tangled together in an awkward mad dash for a partner. His eyes met the only other person with a partner and he stifled a pained cry.
“It looks like you and Y/N are exchanging gifts this year, Non.” Seungkwan shot him a large grin from his spot next to Mingyu.
He knew this had to be preplanned - fate couldn’t be this cruel, right?
“Go on.” Seungkwan poked him in the back, urging him to approach Y/N, who suddenly seemed to be very captivated by a nearby portrait of Seungcheol and Kkmua, placed on the shelf next to her. She stared at it intensely, although Vernon knew she was still hyper-aware of the fact that he was slowly walking towards her. She had that funny way of darting her eyes towards the person she was avoiding while not facing in their direction.
“Y/N.” Her name sounded so foreign yet so familiar across his tongue as he spoke.
“Vernon.”
Her voice felt like coming home.
“Here.” He placed his gift in her hands as he took hers, turning it awkwardly in his hands. “What is it?” He asked, shaking it gently.
The corners of her mouth lifted. “Telling you would defeat the purpose of it being a surprise.”
“You said that last time too.”
He watched her stiffen at his words and he immediately regretted bringing up the past. They both knew last time had been years ago.
“I guess I did.” She replied stiffly, turning his gift in her hands. “What’s yours?”
“Thought you liked your presents to be a surprise?” He recalled, remembering how she used to whine that he must wrap her presents, when the teenage him had insisted that just putting it in a bag would be fine.
“I do.” Her tone made it sound like she was just remembering that fact herself. She looked up and shot him an awkward smile. “I guess I don’t really know what to say.”
“Me either.”
He could’ve sworn he saw her face drop at his words.
They separated soon after, the uncomfortable silence taking over and suffocating them both out of the vicinity of each other. Vernon returned to his spot in the kitchen, picking at the pieces of takeout still leftover on the counter, listening to the others squabble over meaningless things.
He watched Y/N leave, feet rooted by the hallway door and mouth firmly shut closed - he didn’t trust himself to say goodbye to her - he knew that if he had, a million unsaid words would have spilled out and the night would have ended terribly for the both of them. But it was the fear that kept him still most of all, as he watched her exchange numbers with Seungkwan, hugging the others and promising to keep in touch. He stayed as still as a statue as the door shut behind her.
“You idiot.” Seungkwan turned to face him as soon as he locked the door.
“Seungkwan.” Seungcheol’s warning tone made Vernon look at him. He was sending a strong warning glance at the boy.
“What?” Seungkwan protested. “He is being stupid.”
“I think I’m going to head back.” Vernon mumbled, grabbing his coat and hurriedly throwing it on, Y/N’s gift clutched tightly under his arm as he headed for the door. “Thanks for the party, Coups hyung.” He called behind him, shutting the door behind him and welcoming in the cool, biting winter air.
He released the pent up breath that had been choking him all night and furiously wiped away the tears that had begun to form the moment he shut the door behind him.
“Idiot.” He quietly chided himself. “So stupid.”
CHRISTMAS 2018:
“Are you really never going back to New York?” Joshua prodded at his arm with an insistent jab of a finger.
Vernon hummed in response. “There’s no point. My family prefers coming to Korea for the holidays anyways. They get to visit family here and everything.”
“What about your girlfriend?”
Vernon turned his head to see Joshua sporting a shit eating grin. “You know she’s not my girlfriend.”
“Might as well be.” He shrugged, pointing at the various photos that featured her against his wall. “Look at your pathetic loving gaze at her in all of these photos. You’re not even looking at the camera in any of these.”
Vernon frowned at his comment, taking a good look at the photos and realizing Joshua was right. “Doesn’t matter what I feel, hyung. She’s not my girlfriend.”
“She’ll never be if you don’t go back.” Joshua suddenly got serious, as he shifted in his seat to look at Vernon better. “Is there an actual reason why you won’t go back? I know we were too busy the last two years but this year we’re free.”
Vernon stayed silent even though the answer was clear as day in his mind. He was scared, terrified even. Terrified he had hurt her by neglecting her due to his heavy schedules, that she would slam the door in his face if he tried to visit her. “I don’t want to see her hate me.” He finally spat out, cringing as he said it.
Joshua let out a tiny noise of understanding. “So you’re avoiding her. Pretending so you don’t have to deal with the consequences.”
“When you put it like that you make me sound like an asshole.”
Joshua gave him a look that bordered on pitiful. “I don’t know what to tell you, man.”
“I’d rather remember her like this, y’know?” He said, pointing at the way she smiled at him in the pictures on his wall. “Instead of-”
“She might not hate you.” Joshua reminded him quietly from next to him.
“I really, really doubt that, hyung.”
5 HOURS TILL CHRISTMAS:
It wasn’t computing properly into Vernon’s head that you had just gotten him the one thing he’s been wanting all his life.
He had been ogling the Novation Launchpad Pro that was currently sitting on his work table for the last hour, not really believing what he was seeing with his own two eyes. Unwrapping it had been a heart attack in of itself, as he opened up Y/N’s present to reveal the one thing that had been sitting on the top of his childhood wish list since he could remember. Even now, as a famous artist who could afford the splurge, he had never gotten it for himself, knowing it was a luxury and a purchase he didn’t necessarily need.
“What the fuck, Y/N.” He muttered in disbelief, sliding his palm down his face as he continued to stare at the gift. It was fucking fantastic and exactly what he wanted, and it made him feel even worse about the whole situation.
She might not hate you. He recalled the words Joshua had told him one time, Christmases ago.
“Someone who hated me wouldn’t have gotten me this, right?” He said aloud to himself, reaching a timid hand out to fiddle with the launchpad controls. “How did she even know we’d be exchanging gifts anyways?” And how on earth does she know I never got myself one? In what felt like a split second decision, Vernon felt himself walking towards the door of his apartment, sliding his shoes on and grabbing his keys - only one destination in mind. He had to fix this, somehow. Because there was no fucking way she still hated him.
4 HOURS TILL CHRISTMAS:
She would’ve complained that the sudden doorbell at 3am woke her up but she hadn’t really been sleeping. Y/N had been lying in bed with her eyes wide open since the moment she’d gotten home, the bag of chocolates and various snacks from Vernon left on her kitchen counter. She had stifled a laugh when she opened it - even till this day, Vernon’s go to gift was still the same. Chocolate and snacks can never fail, he had told her, defending his choice of gift. Especially when you don’t know the person too well.
She supposed that line made sense for their situation too.
“Vernon?” She squinted at the figure standing on her porch in the dark. “What are you doing here?” She rubbed her eyes, mildly wondering if she was dreaming.
He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he stared down at her. “You got me the launchpad.”
She blinked. “Yeah.”
“How’d you know?”
She stared back at him, stunned at his bluntness and the randomness of the current setting. “You never shut up about it.”
His mouth opened and closed again. She watched as he tried looking for words, his vocabulary ultimately failing him.
“Come inside.” She said quietly, noticing how the harsh winter wind blew at his thin coat. Dragging him gently inside, she shut the door behind them both, turning around awkwardly to face him. She never thought she’d ever see him in his apartment - yet he looked so perfect.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, eyes darting around her place, taking it all in. “I know it’s late.” Glancing down at her pajamas, his lips quivered in a small smile. “Cute.”
“What?” She stared at him indignantly, completely thrown off by his behaviour. “Are you drunk?” She reached out a hand to touch his face, trying to check his temperature, but he caught her hand in his before she could reach.
“I’m not drunk, Y/N.” He dropped her hand like it had burned him.
“Then what are you here for?”
She watched him moisten his lips as he stalled for time.
“I wanted to say sorry.” He finally said, his words tumbling out as if they had been held back for long enough. “I shouldn’t have cut you off like that.”
She thought she’d have a more visceral reaction to the apology she had been waiting for all this time, but she didn’t. “Why are you saying this now? It’s been nearly ten years, Vernon.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Her shoulders sagged at his words and the sight of his dejected, ashamed face. “Why didn’t you come back? Or text me?” She asked him, pleading for an answer.
He finally looked up and met her eyes. “I guess I was scared. I got busy one year and didn’t go back- and I neglected our friendship. And then-” He paused, his voice breaking. “I left, and time passed and staying away felt simpler than going back. No goodbye felt better than a bad one.”
“It wouldn’t have been a bad goodbye.”
He shook his head. “You hated me.”
She looked away, remembering all the times she had cursed him for leaving her behind when she was younger. “Maybe. But never for long.” She mustered all her courage to tell him her next words. “I loved you too much to hate you for very long.”
Vernon blinked at her. “You loved me?”
She hummed in response, still not quite looking at him. They stood there, by her door, in the dim lights of her apartment.
“How did you even get my address?” She suddenly asked, forgetting he shouldn’t have known where to find her.
Vernon stayed silent, his mind still reeling from the sudden love confession. She used to love me?
“Vernon.” Y/N nudged him.
“Oh.” He finally responded, although his own voice felt like light years away as his mind continued to reel. “I asked my sister. Didn’t know you guys still talked.”
“Oh.”
“You used to love me?” He asked, incredulous, not quite believing her words. “Why?”
She laughed, and the sound wrapped around Vernon like her hugs used to. “What do you mean, why? Of course I loved you. I followed you around like a lost kid our entire childhood.”
“I loved you too, y’know.”
Her smile dropped as she paused mid-laugh. “What?”
He took a step closer to her, unsure where the sudden confidence was coming from. Vernon searched her eyes for some figment of affection, for truth, for the way she used to look at him when they were younger. “I don’t think I ever stopped loving you.” He finally admitted. “I definitely tried to, but your hold on me lasted through distance and time.”
“Me too.”
“What?”
“I never stopped loving you too.”
#seventeen imagines#svt#svt imagines#seventeen#svt fluff#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seventeen fic#seventeen scenarios#seventeen christmas#svt fic#svt scenarios#svt vernon#vernon x you#vernon x reader#seventeen vernon#vernon
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📸 BETTER THAN REVENGE
synopsis. after a fight with sirius, regulus comes to his girlfriend sulking and she decides to have a little talk with his older brother.
notes. regulus black x malfoy!reader
you and regulus had many more similarities than anyone could guess just by simply looking at the two of you. the most obvious included your background — ancient, pureblood families, who were nuts about purity, both in slytherin, both richer than most of the hogwarts students together, and in everyone’s eyes you were petty, stubborn and pretentious.
you two were petty and seemed pretentious, but it wasn’t all that. the two of you both had siblings, who maybe cared about you in some way, but never showed it well enough for you to be sure they cared. you were sure sirius cared, but you weren’t sure if lucius did. your brother was far from being a family guy.
both you and regulus were also painfully ambitious, and it kind of made the two of you so close as you were paired to one group in slughorn’s classes, and to secure yourself a top spot, you had to work together. and so half a year later, you were planning a trip to france, lying next to each other on the bed in his dorm.
after that one summer everything has changed, and now you two were an official couple, though not many people knew since neither of you wanted to make a big deal out of it. the amount of classes you shared had shrunken since you took different ones, but it just made your bond stronger.
it all happened on a week before both of you were supposed to return to your respective houses (though, regulus would be staying at potter’s), you were wrapping your present for barty, when your boyfriend stormed into the room. pandora, who sat there with you, claimed she would leave you two alone and left. you could easily see that something happened from the look on his face.
“reg,” you began, eyebrows furrowed at his sudden appearance. “is everything alright, love?” a soft ask left your lips as he just laid down on your bed, face buried in a pillow.
silence filled your room right after you finished your sentence. it was time for you to just sigh quietly, putting a hand on his back and scratching it gently. “you know you can talk to me, right?” your soft tone and the sensation of your nails on his back made him grunt.
“i’m not leaving for christmas.” he stated, catching you a little off guard. you were sure it was about the upcoming christmas ball that slughorn threw and since you were invited, regulus was ought to go with you. “i… got into a fight with sirius, so either we make up or i’m gonna go to my parents.” now, he was looking at you with misery and sadness flickering in his eyes.
“he thinks james is more of a brother to him than i am.” regulus adds, his head now resting on top of your laps as you play with his hair, trying to comfort him at least a little. “and he says it’s not that big of a deal, since i consider evan and barty my brothers and i’d probably say that they’re more of brothers to me than he is, but that’s not true.”
his words made your heart ache. it was clear to everyone in your friend group (including remus, who often just tagged along) to know how much regulus needed sirius’ validation, how much he needed to be reassured that he doesn’t hate him as much as regulus thought he did.
“i know we haven’t talked until he moved out, but it still hurts.” he whispered, not even looking you in the eyes. “and he doesn’t even recognize how much he means to me. he’s the only one in our entire family that matters more than everything. i got his initials and constellations tattooed and he thinks i would choose barty and evan over him?”
“you’re brother is an idiot, and i mean it.” you murmured, showering his head with kisses. if regulus was in his usual mood, he would say he just acts like an idiot, but now? he didn’t even want to defend him. “i’ll stay with you. i’d go nuts if i had to spend a minute with lucius.” you say softly, fingers running through his hair.
it took you a few more minutes to comfort him enough to leave your dorm for his evening practice, and even though you were supposed to finish packing your presents before christmas. you had to talk to one, annoying gryffindor, who was no other than sirius black.
getting into their common room was easy, lily, friend of a friend of yours, let you in after hearing your explanation, showing you how to get into sirius’ dorm that he shared with james, remus and peter. “one of you better hold me or i might kill your friend.” you let out, looking specifically remus, who looked at you with a glint of surprise.
“what did he do again?” lupin asked, his expression scolding. “what’re you doin’ here, malfoy?” peter began, but before he could elaborate, remus put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head as you looked for the perfect words.
“how can you be such an asshole, black?” you hissed, the end of your wand pointed at his throat. “one time you’re all on being the best older brother you can, but next time all i see in yourself is my brother, and believe me, that’s the furthest from a compliment.”
“i’m not done, yet.” your teeth gritted, eyes narrowed at him. “he’d never choose anyone over you, yet you’d always choose him —” you looked at james for half a second, then turned your eyes to sirius, again. “— over your own brother, who’d jump into flames just if you asked him to? unbelievable.” you sighed, putting your wand down, sliding it into your boot. “and you know what’s the worst in all that? that i wish he’d pick anyone else over you, but he won’t, because he can’t even get mad at you for not choosing him, he’s just sad.”
the atmosphere in the room is so tense, someone could cut it with knife. “you’re an idiot for making regulus feel so little about himself, and y’all are idiots for letting him.” another sight left your lips as your eyes were locked with sirius. “maybe even regulus will let you treat him like shit, but i won’t, black. i’ll make sure to haunt your dreams and turn them into nightmares, i can promise you that.” you gave him your most ironical smile. “i’m a malfoy, don’t underestimate me, cutie pie.” you sent him a wink,
“protective girlfriend, huh?” remus chuckled as you passed him, giving you a high-five. “oh you bet, lupin.” and you left, sirius almost shamless at your sudden outburst, but… it was quite impressive — though, he’d never admit it.
you haven’t seen neither of them till the next morning at breakfast, when they walked to the great hall together, talking about something until each of them got to their respective tables. “what did you do?” regulus asked, sitting on the bench beside you.
“what?” you asked with a sweet smile, nudging him lightly with your elbow. “just had a small talk with sirius, why?”
“a small talk? with the tip of your wand pressed against his throat?” you nodded at his words, sending him a fake-puzzled look. “you know i love you?” he bit back a smile, leaning closer to whisper those words right to your ear.
“oi, malfoy.” barty started, interrupting your somehow intimate moment with regulus. “theoretically, if i paid you, could you do that to me as well? that must’ve looked bloody hot.” crouch grinned, getting a light punch on the shoulder from your boyfriend.
“i would rather not touch you, crouch. i don’t know where the hell have you been.” you laughed, your head resting on regulus’ shoulder as his arm was wrapped around your waist. “don’t worry, baby. if any of them bothers you, i can fight.” you winked at him playfully.
#regulus black x reader#female reader#regulus black fluff#regulus black fic#regulus black x malfoy!reader#sirius x regulus#marauders fic#marauders one shot#niki’s works 🫂#harry potter fic#regulus black fanfiction#regulus black one shot#marauders fanfiction#marauders x reader#marauders era#marauders x you#regulus black x you#regulus black#regulus x reader#regulus fluff
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ik you probs have so many asks about first crush but you write so well and i love the story.
imagine a kid at school notices Abby never is picked up by her dad so they ask her about it but it makes abby sad and she doesn’t want to go to school anymore. i mean like crying about it. eventually reader and bucky find out why she’s so fussy as of late and then bucky picks her up from school the next day and she has the biggest smile on her face and almost trips running into his arms
ty if you write it and even if you don’t :))))
Thank you so much for this "Ask"! I switched it a little to make Abby get bullied by the kid in her class and she's very upset. Our poor baby.
At daycare today, they are making Father's Day crafts. Abby understands that her Daddy is in heaven and not with her anymore, but she still enjoys doing the crafts and still wants to participate and the teachers whole-heartedly support that.
The little boy sitting beside Abby snatches a blue crayon out of her hand. "Hey! You can'ts do that."
"I need it for my card."
"Buts I needs it too. I not finish," Abby frowns.
Sneering at her, "You don't need it. You don't even have a Daddy."
She gasps & leans away from the boy, "I do has a Daddy!"
"No you don't. He doesn't pick you up."
"You are mean. Just cos he no pick me ups, it not mean I don't has one."
The little girl sitting on the other side of the table chimes in, "He NEVER picks her up. It's only her Mommy."
"My Daddy is in heaven. He cannot picks me up."
The kids laugh, "He ran away to heaven to get away from you. He don't love you."
"He loves me!" Abby stands with her clenched fists propped on her hips, tears tracking down her cheeks. "Don't say that. That's bad."
"Daddies don't leave if they love you," the boy taunts her. Abby starts to sob. "He doesn't love you because you're stupid! And stinky!"
Abby pulls back her fist & punches the little boy in the head. Her aim was off, never having punched anyone before, but her second & third punch lands on target. The other kids start screaming and crying, and the teachers have to break the toddlers apart.
******
You get a call from the daycare asking you to come down & pick Abby up. You leave immediately all the while in a panic. Ms. Grace said Abby attacked a boy. That does not sound like Abby. Something terrible must have happened. Sitting on the Metro, terrible thoughts run through your brain.
You finally get to the daycare and you see Abby sitting by herself at her desk, the rest of the class outside playing. Her eyes are red & puffy and her face is blotchy from crying. "Abigail? Ms. Grace?" Abby looks up at the sound of your voice and starts to cry. It's not they type of crying you're used to. It breaks your heart. Its not a tantrum. Its not her being fussy. "Baby?"
You gather her up in your arms and she starts to settle, sticking her thumb in her mouth. Turning to her teacher, "I'm sorry to have to call you in like this, but we do not condone this type of behavior. No matter what the reason."
"I understand that, but what happened? You said Abigail hit a little boy. She would never do that. This is completely out of character for her. Something happened."
"Comments were made about Abby not having a father. We don't condone bullying either. The boy and his parents have been spoken to as well. We think its best that they both be sent home for the rest of the day. They are welcomed back tomorrow, but for today, it's best that you take her home." Tilting her head to catch Abby's attention, "I hope you feel better & we can start fresh tomorrow, Abby."
"Tank you, Ms Grace" she mumbles around her thumb.
******
Its a quiet walk home. Abby hasn't said a word, just rested her head on your shoulder. You change her out of school clothes & wash her face. All the while your baby is silent which is not like your daughter at all.
you grab some juice and a bowl of grapes & sit her in her booster seat at the table. She quietly eats her snack & you brush her hair off her forehead. "You want to tell me what happened at school?" Abby shakes her head & chews on her grape. "Ms. Grace said you punched a boy. That is very very bad, Abigail. You know that."
Abby puts down the grape she was eating & large tears spill down her cheeks, "Is dat why Daddy leave me? Cos, I'm a bad girl?"
You feel sucker punched to the gut. All the air feels like it left your body. Softly, "What?"
"Justin say..." her lips pucker into a frown and she covers her eyes with her hands & cries. "Daddy don't love me, so he ran away to heaven."
If you could punt that little motherfucker into traffic, you would! You wish Abby punched him harder!
You snatch Abby out of her booster and hug her to you. "That is an absolute lie! That's the biggest lie in the whole world. Your Daddy loved you so much." Her little body wracked with sobs. Ooooh, if you could get you hands on Justin & his parents, you'd annihilate all of them! You rub little circles on her back to calm her down & yourself down as well. You're filled with rage. "You know what? Punching people is never good, but I understand now. Justin said some very mean & hurtful things and you didn't know what to do. We need to work harder to make the right choices when we get upset, ok? But I understand and Mama isn't mad at you."
"I loves you, Mama."
"And I love you, my baby. So so much."
*******
After not responding to a bunch of text & missed calls from Bucky, he shows up at the apartment to check up on you both. You just put Abby down for her nap, when he finds you a crying mess and does his best to console you, but again its hard to calm someone down when you're filled with rage as well.
Abby was happy to see Bucky there when she woke up. She was extra snuggly with the both of you. Instead of a dance party after dinner, the 3 of your curled up together on the couch watching "The Secret Life of Pets." The Kevin Hart bunny always makes Abby giggle.
Bucky offers to watch Abby while you took a shower before bed. Abby sits next to Bucky but curled around his arm. Her favorite spot to be. "You had a rough day today." Bucky rubs small circles on her back copying what you do to Abby to settle her.
Pulling her thumb out of her mouth, "It was no good."
Sighing, "Yeah, rough days are no good."
"Bucky?"
"Yes?"
"You know what Justin say?" sitting up to face him.
"No, what did he say?"
"That my Daddy leave to heaven cos he don't love me & I'm stinky & stupid." Abby's lip quivers & Bucky quickly starts sniffing her & tickling her to make her giggle.
"You don't smell stinky! You smell like flowers."
"Oh! Das cos Mama put pretty spray on me," smiling up at Bucky.
"And you are the smartest girl I know."
"My mama is smart."
"But she's a grown up. You're still the smartest girl I know. And let me tell you something, I don't know your Daddy, but I know for a fact that he loved you so much. You are also the most lovable girl I know, too. He'd never run away from you. Never ever. He would fight tooth & nail to stay with you if he could."
"Yea?" Bucky nods. She thinks about it for a bit. "Tank you." She's silent for a while longer. "What he said," she places her hand on her chest, "hurt me in my heart."
Bucky wraps his arm around Abby pulling her closer, "I know, I'm sorry, baby."
"But you know what?"
Bucky lets out a chuckle, "What?"
Abby looks behind her for her Mama, "I punched-ed him."
Bucky looks at her shocked, "No!"
"I dids. I missed the first time & only hit him in his head." She touches her forehead, "But I hit him 2 more time," holding up 2 fingers, "in his mouth." Bucky doesn't know what to say. He wants to laugh but he knows he shouldn't. He shouldn't cheer her on, but he wants to.
He ends up laughing, "Abigail Rose!" Abby joins in with her cackle. Bucky pulls her close & kisses her forehead, "That's my girl."
******
The next morning, Abby doesn't want to go back to daycare. "Abby, you need to go back. Ms. Grace is hoping to see you, remember?"
"Please Mama, let me stays with yous."
"I'm sorry, baby, no. I have to go to work and you have to go to school." You pick her up and she starts to cry. You make it out to your stoop to find Bucky and Steve all suited up. Bucky who normally wears long sleeves and gloves in public is wearing a black T-shirt, showing off his arm. Steve has his shield strapped to his back "Seriously!?"
"Bucky! Uncle Steve!" She wiggles so you let her down and she runs to them. "What doing?"
"Hey, Abs! Thought we'd walk you to school today."
"And I want to see who this Justin punk is."
"Bucccky." You give him a warning tone.
Bucky picks Abby up and she asks, "Punk? What is punk?"
"Punk. You know, like someone who is no good. Like your Uncle."
She gasps and covers his mouth with her hands, "My Uncle not punk! Don't say that."
"Thank you, Abs!" She smiles at Steve. "Maybe Bucky and I can be put on the list so we can pick you up from daycare sometimes."
"Mama! Uncle Steve wants to be on pick up list. He says so!"
Rolling your your eyes, "Well, if he says so."
"C'mon, Doll. Since her Daddy isn't able to, she got an Avenger and Ex-Hydra Assassin who can."
They get to the playground and all eyes are on them. Two Avengers just walked in. Bucky hands Abby over to Steve. "So, who is this Justin kid?" Bucky is giving his Winter Soldier glare.
"O'er dere by the slide. He had the big forehead." Bucky can't keep his glare in place and ends up laughing, just thinking about his girl punching that kid in the forehead.
"That's enough. Behave or none of you will be added to the list." You walk into the schoolroom followed by the 2 sweetest men who'd do anything for your baby girl.
@waywardhunter95 @wintrsoldrluvr @rebeccapineapple @ordelixx @onceithough @thezombieprostitute @ilovetaquitosmmmm @julvrs @unaxv @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @winterslove1917 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @mrsnikstan @hisredheadedgoddess28 @itsteambarnes @otterlycanadian @purplecolordeer @samsgirl93 @buckitostan @blackbirdwitch22 @littleredwolf @mcucatlady @silas-aeiou @hzdhrtss @florie1 @thecubanator2 @enchantedbarnes @selella @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @cjand10 @pancake-05 @ozwriterchick @crazyunsexycool
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Talking about Incest in Public
(both the painful traumatic kind and the hot fictional kind)
As it turns out, lots of the people who read and write taboo fiction have survived some deeply fucked up shit. After talking about incest with other survivors on the Moon, Sun & Stars discord and answering questions, I decided to share more about my experiences and the things that helped me survive and the things that helped me heal, because there are a lot of us, and a lot of us feel very alone, and maybe there are other people who aren’t incest survivors but who might want to know more to better support the survivors in their life.
–
Incest is not just a sexual act between two family members -- it's a larger system of absence of boundaries within a family, and it's almost always part of multiple incestuous dynamics, even if only one might be the obvious or explicit dynamic.
If you’re an incest survivor, you’re almost certainly not the only one in your family.
-
“The true characteristics and dimensions of incestuous abuse have been masked by the taboo and silence that have surrounded its occurrence. Recent research demonstrates that incest occurs regularly in our society, perpetrated by individuals who, for the most part, would otherwise be regarded as fairly normal. The taboo on incestuous relations is a deterrent to some would-be perpetrators but not to others. The taboo contradicts the reality of incest prevalence, a fact which led Armstrong (1978) to comment that th taboo has been on the open discussion of incest and not on its perpetration.”
-Christine Courtois, “Healing the Incest Wound: Adult Survivors in Therapy”
–
To use my family as an example -
My (similarly aged) brother did sexual things to me as a kid, and I had a range of reactions to it including pleasure and enjoyment. And confusion. And fear. I do not think he is bad or even what he did was bad. I think we were both two kids who existed in a family with incestuous dynamics, and we were both shaped by those dynamics and trying our best to survive.
From a young age, I existed as a physical comfort object to my mom (when she was sad she'd get into my bed to hold me until she felt better while I dissociated), and I took on the idea that my role in the family was for my body to be used to make other people feel good. The sexual behavior by my brother felt like an extension of how my mom held me.
My mother was the victim of incest from her uncle, and her parents sided with her uncle over her when she spoke out about it (even after he was facing legal consequences for his behavior with kids outside of the family) (even after he fled the country). She didn't know how to emotionally regulate herself, and I don't think she had (or has) the capacity to understand a child's need for physical autonomy and boundaries because her own were never respected.
There were other incestuous behaviors and dynamics within my family which I'm continuously discovering and unpacking. I think my mom’s uncle abused my grandmother too but I’ll never know for sure. It’s deeply uncomfortable to look back on a happy family story or a childhood nickname and see something sinister underneath and wonder if you’re being paranoid or if it’s actually that bad.
–
Things that have helped:
Long term relational therapy (5+ years). EMDR. Adopting a cat. Adopting more cats. Antidepressants. Reading about incest (realistic, terrifying, academic). Reading about incest (fictional, hot, amateur). Being a competitive athlete. Getting a graduate degree. Going on long walks late at night. Telling my family I had Covid so I could skip a family vacation.
These books specifically: Healing the Incest Wound by Christine Courtois, The Myth of Normal, Dissociation Made Simple, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, The Narcissistic Family Unit, Clementine Morrigan’s writing x1000.
The protector parts: Eating disorder. Self harm. Drinking. Perfectionism. Depression. Suicidal ideation. I’m grateful to these imperfect protectors I’ve leaned on over the years.
Things that have not helped:
You will be shocked to hear that people on the internet yelling about how people who find fictional incest hot are disgusting and bad and dangerous did NOT in fact help me unlearn the belief that experiencing incest made me disgusting and bad and dangerous. Luckily, I’m built of spite. But it certainly did not help.
(If I think about my vulnerable pre-teen/teen self reading those things, I become deeply angry. How dare you hurt her in the name of protection.)
- I don’t cater to all these vipers Dressed in empath’s clothing God save the most judgmental creeps Who say they want what’s best for me Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I’ll never see
-Taylor Swift, But Daddy I Love Him
-
After I discovered fanfiction in middle school, and then after I realized that there was a world beyond OFC/Draco Malfoy fic, I read a lot of Blackcest. I devoured any I could find, hopping through rec lists on LiveJournal.
Reading Blackcest fics, first Bellatrix/Sirius then Sirius/Regulus mostly, allowed me to see my experiences reflected. Those fics gave me a way to contextualize my family and my role in it. I hate the expectation that kids who experience bad things should go to a safe trusted adult rather than find art that romanticizes their experience. The whole point is that there isn’t a safe trusted adult. The whole point is that I needed the art. I got to hold the romanticized narrative until I got far enough away that I could put it away in a box until I had enough therapy that I could safely open the box and build a new, more honest story.
Obviously plenty of people love incest smut and fic and art. It’s taboo! It’s angsty! It’s a classic! Probably most of those people don’t have direct personal experience with incest in their families. I’m glad they read and write fics too.
But for me – have you ever experienced something you believe so strongly you will never be able to say aloud? That any time you see your secret referenced it’s in shock and disgust and revulsion? You can pretend – you’re very good at pretending – but you know it’s real, and you know it’s your secret you’ll hold onto for the rest of your life while the world reminds you how disgusting you are?
Then you find that people are writing about what you experienced in a thousand variations that all contain some nugget of your truth.
I cannot express in words how important it was that I found those stories at that time.
I never commented on a single fic. I never made a single account on any of the sites I read fanfiction on. I clicked the “yes I’m 18” box without hesitation every time. I wish I could go back in time and have my adult self articulate the enormity of my gratitude for each and every author who helped save me whose work exists on sites I can only revisit with the Wayback Machine.
I understand why people might feel horrified at the idea of a 11-12 year old reading smutty incest Harry Potter fanfic. People aren’t wrong for feeling that way.
That said, I truly don’t care what people who aren’t incest survivors think.
I’m so proud of that child for finding a way to survive. She might have hated herself, might have fantasized about death, but she survived and kept the truth of her experience wrapped up in a fictional world where it could be safe to explore and kept it there until years and years of therapy made it possible to engage with it in reality.
- I’m a real tough kid I can handle my shit They said, babe, you got to fake it till you make it And I did
-Taylor Swift, I Can Do It With a Broken Heart -
No one is writing about incest the way Clementine Morrigan is right now. I’m so grateful for her. I’m not sure this little tumblr post would exist without her essay series.
"Incest functions as a spell of unreality. A structure of nothingness. A completely normal and unremarkable family life in which something unnameable is ominously and terrifyingly wrong. You know in the summer when you can see the heat making the air go squiggly? Imagine those squiggles as an indication that in the seeming nothingness, there is something there. Incest is like that. Subtle, pervasive, unthinkable, unnameable. But present, felt.
As a teenager I came up with this metaphor: Imagine you are in a house full of bugs. There are bugs crawling all over all the walls and all the furniture and in your food and even on the fork you are lifting to your mouth. And you feel disgusted, you feel like something is really wrong. But your whole family is acting completely normal, laughing and eating and talking as bugs crawl over their faces and into their mouths. When you tell them you think there are bugs in your food your family says it’s just pepper and not to worry about it.
There is no way to talk about incest without feeling that you are lying. This is because incest lives in the realm of unreality and everything in the realm of unreality cannot be thought or said or named. When you speak of things that happen in the realm of unreality it will always feel like a lie and be treated like a lie. You are breaking the fundamental rule. You are not allowed to talk about what goes on in the realm of unreality because it isn’t real."
Read more and pay for her writing if you can on her substack.
-
Without a doubt, the not-explicitly-sexual incest from my mom fucked me up more than the explicitly sexual incest from my brother, but I only feel confident claiming the incest survivor label because sexual stuff was done to me by a family member, and I still feel like I’m lying sometimes because it wasn't bad enough to count.
I’m a literal mental health clinician who can map out various incestuous dynamics within my family and who has clear memories of a family member doing sexual stuff to my child body, and I still feel like I’m lying.
I believe you if you feel like a liar because I bet you do. I believe you if the incest never included anything directly physical. I believe you if you enjoyed it. I believe you if you don’t remember but feel like it’s true.
I love us.
If we’re monsters, I love our courageous monstrosity.
If we’re liars, I love the way we make up stories to survive when reality is impossible.
If we’re an uncomfortable truth, good.
-
It still impacts me. I’m not over it.
It’s very difficult for me to imagine love that does not include violation. To be loved and to be allowed to maintain a self.
But I’m open to learning otherwise, and that openness is new.
-
I was so, so good at living in unreality. I could make myself perfect, such a flawless object until I couldn’t think of anything except killing myself, but even then I still maintained the image of perfection my family expected.
It’s cool I never actually killed myself.
I find it hard to be around my family now. There are advantages of living in unreality. I drink a lot more when I’m around my family than I ever did before, but I don’t think about killing myself nearly as much. Reality is worth it. Being able to exist as a person is worth it.
- I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.
-Sylvia Plath
- I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid. (I insist.)
It didn’t kill me then. It’s not going to kill me now. (I remind myself.)
My life is worth living, and there are fights worth fighting, and it is undeniably true the world is full of horror, but it is good to write and create and be alive, and it is good to try. I’m a little afraid to post this, but the fear and shame isn’t mine to hold, and I never should have been the one holding it.
Consider this a thank you note sent out to the universe in the hopes the sentiment echoes towards those authors who saved me then and to all the writers who are saving people now. Your art matters. No matter how weird or niche or dismissed or hated it is. It matters.
Thank you.
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You
Paring(s): JJ maybank x fem!reader
Summary: Request- John b's little sister grew up with JJ. Both boys are protective of her but when John B and Sarah leave on the boat, she only has JJ. She realizes she has feelings for him, not knowing he feels the same.
Authors note: I decided I could give you guys a sprinkle of fluff and slight smut after the last two pieces! This takes place at the beginning of season 2 where they believe Sarah and John b are dead.
Also, someone complained about the length of my pieces. I know they’re long but it’s just my writing style. I like for the readers to feel what the main character is feeling. If the length bothers you, then don’t read it!
_______________
Angry.
That’s how I felt.
At myself. At my dad. At John B.
When we first lost our dad, it didn’t feel real. I waited outside on the steps of the chateu hoping to see him come back on his boat. Suddenly, hours turned to days which turned into months and the hope that filled my chest shrank bit by bit until I no longer sat outside.
Instead, John B and I did what we could. After successfully evading CPS, we decided it was best to lay low. That was the thing about us, we always managed to make the best out of a shitty situation because let’s face it, being born on the cut was shitty situation after shitty situation.
Unfortunately, it felt like the stress had finally caught up to me. Being surrounded by unfamiliar people caused a bitter sense of panic to fill my very core. My anxiety had amplified tenfold as the once out going girl became completely sheltered.
It was safer that way. At least, if I isolated myself, losing someone else won’t hurt as bad as this. Because as long as I had my brother, everything else was manageable.
Losing my dad was tough, almost impossible but at least I had John B.
Until, I didn’t.
It didn’t hit me until I saw the boat capsize with my brother and Sarah in it. I was truly an orphan, in every sense of the word.
My knees had given out as every emotion crashed into my body like a violent tsunami. A silent scream leaving my body as I could no longer hold myself up.
Familiar arms caught me just as I was about to hit the floor, the rain pounded into my skin like thousands of needles. As I drew in a sharp breath, my voice impossible to find, a delicate smell of sex wax and salt filled my nose.
JJ.
“Please breathe. I need you to take a b-breath,” He pleaded, his voice shook in obvious grief. He had just lost his brother too.
I couldn’t seem to do what he was asking. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing for this nightmare to end, but thought after thought slammed into my head repeatedly. My chest squeezed tightly, so tight that I began to claw at it, desperate to relieve the tension.
Yet, nothing seemed to work. I could see him now, his image blurred due to the tears falling from my eyes. His mouth was moving but I couldn’t hear anything.
My fingers slowly started to cramp due to the lack of oxygen from my inability to calm down. The tidal wave known as anxiety pulled me deep, my vision slowly becoming black before my unconscious body falls limp in the arms of my brother’s best friend.
_________
I hated this sign.
My eyes glared at the makeshift headstone my friends made for Sarah and John B that was carved into the tree.
It served as another reminder that my brother left me.
I’ve become close friends with anger and sadness.
Our friends tried to give me a sense of stability and normalcy, one that I’ve been lacking since the moment our dad died. Kie always stopped by bringing left overs from her parent’s restaurant. Pope would help me with my homework and go over scholarship options. I knew he was trying to help me plan for the future, but we both knew he was the only one that could really get out. I welcomed the distraction and tried to enjoy the small bubble I’ve created for myself.
And then, there was JJ.
JJ was special.
He all but moved in to the chateau, never leaving me alone in my thoughts for too long. He took up a serving job at some kook club to feed us and always brought me with him. I would sit in a small corner throughout, his shifts and enjoy his company.
In a way, I think it was for him just as much as it was for me. We had both bonded over the loss of my brother and it caused an invisible string to tether us together in a way that almost felt intimate.
I blew out a breath.
Standing up, I wiped off the dirt from my thighs and flexed my hands. JJ was on his way to pick me up and take me to the annual bonfire here on the island.
When he asked me, my first reaction was an immediate no. I had avoided going near large groups of people since they believed my brother to be a murder, therefore, making me guilty by association. Just the thought of surrounding myself around those people made my skin itch.
But I also knew that we were both desperate to feel the closest thing to normal that we could find.
What he didn’t know was that feeling of normalcy could only be achieved when he was with me. Breathing was easier when he was with me, living was easier.
The familiar sound of a bike engine caused my stomach to flutter with nerves.
“You ready?”
Inhaling deeply, I turned around to see JJ leaning against his bike looking every bit as handsome as the first time I laid eyes on him. He was grinning, something he reserved just for me, with a toothpick on one side.
If he was here, then I’d be able to do anything.
“I go where you go.”
JJ’s blue eyes shined at my words. He shot me his infamous smirk that nearly caused the butterflies in my stomach to erupt.
“You got that right. Get on the bike, let’s get the fuck out of here.”
My brain was my biggest enemy. It had a tendency to disrupt whatever sense of peace I had and destroy it with every self sabotaging thought I’ve ever had.
In this case, my brain wanted to know just how many girls sat there before me.
Noticing my hesitation, JJ raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “What’s up?”
“I just don’t want to get cooties from all the girls you let on this thing.”
He rolled his eyes. “Get your ass on the bike.”
My feet moved towards the bike as I mumbled under my breath. Stopping in front of him, JJ brushes some loose strands of my hair out of my face before grabbing the helmet that was on the seat.
I reached for it but JJ shoved my hands away, shooting me a flat look. Huffing, I stood there as JJ placed the helmet on my head, tightening the strap under my chin.
“Why do I have to wear a helmet and you don’t?”
“Because you matter.” His response was immediate.
Speechless, I said nothing more as he continued with the unnecessary pampering before he finally let me on the bike. Revving the engine, JJ kicks up the stand before reaching behind and grabbing my arm, settling it around his waist. He tapped my thigh twice to signal we were going and we took off.
I clung to his body, watching as the greenery blurred into one large mass, my thoughts doing the same.
You matter.
You matter.
You matter.
But what did that mean? What did it mean to him? What did I mean to him?
Because, I knew exactly what he meant to me.
There were small moments we shared. Our eye contact would stay on each other for a beat too long or his hands would linger just a minute longer than normal.
I knew, at least for me, our friendship had reached a very blurred line. My feelings for him seemed to consume me but I couldn’t tell how he felt. No one ever could, JJ didn’t let them.
He would say things like this that would completely throw me out of the loop. So we settled into a routine, one that resembled a relationship yet we weren’t in one.
The familiar cackle of the fire and shouts of excitement signaled that we were close to the party. Unease leaked into my bloodstream as I flexed my fingers into JJ’s shirt, the nerves sky rocketing.
JJ parked next to some truck but my focus was broken. My eyes jumped all over, taking in the scene all while trying to remind myself to breathe. People were shot gunning while others were playing beer pong, kooks and pouges alike.
Everyone was laughing and smiling, but it all seemed foreign to me. This was what I used to do, when things weren’t as complicated and dark as they were now. It felt almost wrong to go dancing and drinking when my life was in shambles.
A small touch to my wrist pulled me out of my thoughts as I turned to face JJ. A look of concern painted his face as he pressed his fingers against my wrist, checking my pulse.
“JJ, I’m fine.” I said exasperated but secretly, I adored how he took care of me. It made me feel like to him, I was different than all the other girls.
I just couldn’t decipher if he took care of me out of obligation to John B or because he actually cared for me.
He picked up this habit after I passed out in his arms. JJ always brushed his fingers against the inside of my wrist, just to double check that I wasn’t going to pass out again.
My anxiety was yet another monster I had to tackle after I lost John B and JJ was the only one that could calm me down. He weighed me down like an anchor.
“Look at me,” he demanded, his fingers lifting my chin causing my eyes to meet his.
His gaze ran over every inch of my face before a small satisfied smile played his lips.
“Do you believe me now?”
JJ shot me a wink, before cupping my face gently. “I’ll be back with tequila, don’t move.”
A small laugh left my mouth. “JJ, I don’t hang out with anyone else.”
“I’m all you can handle anyways, baby.”
My stomach dipped at the term of endearment. Laughing it off, I shooed him away and within seconds people were calling out his name, tugging him into their groups.
He seemed relax—happy even—to be surrounded by familiar people that I’m sure made him feel normal. I wanted him to have that, god, did I want him to have that.
So I ignored the nausea that nipped at my throat and spent the next five minutes looking around, hoping to spot Pope or Kie with no luck.
JJ deserved some time that didn’t involve watching me.
Only, I didn’t expect him to disappear for the rest of the night.
Hours later, I pushed passed the sweaty, overheated bodies as the bass of the music trembled through the air rattling my chest. The mass of bodies caused a layer of sweat to cover my body the further I went into the crowd. Intense rap music was being blasted instantly getting a reaction by the drug induced people around me.
Just by a simple sweep of the overcrowded property, I gave it a solid half hour before the cops showed up.
A large figure stumbled into me, beer sloshing onto my top. I gasped, stepping back slightly wincing at the cold liquid dripping down my stomach.
"Sorry," He slurred before stumbling back into the mosh pit of raging teens.
A familiar laugh rang out and almost immediately my body reacted to it. It was odd. After years of hearing his voice and his laugh, you would think I'd have gotten used to it by now, but no.
The effect he had on my body left me stunned.
My eyes were drawn to him instantly. I blocked everything else out.
His head was tilted back as he belted out another laugh. JJ was leaning against a wall with a hand holding a beer bottle loosely and the other moving as he spoke animatedly to the group that surrounded him.
His sun touched skin complimented his bright blue orbs that shined with a child-like wonder. JJ’s golden colored locks were thick and fell into a messy heap on his head, loose strands brushing against his forehead.
The black cut muscle tee he wore displayed every muscle as he continued to move his arms to accompany his storytelling.
JJ Maybank was a sight for sore eyes.
He was still talking rapidly when he glanced up and locked eyes with mine. JJ’s ocean eyes shined as he shot me a megawatt smile nearly sending me to my knees. He stopped mid-conversation and motioned for me to come over, his eyes once again gleaming with a unspoken level of affection.
I remained frozen. Sometimes this happened. I got overwhelmed by just how much I needed him.
JJ managed to knock me off my feet a solid five times a day. Each time welcomed even more than the last.
He bit his lip, stopping a smile as he bid his friends goodbye and began walking over to where I stood, running a hand through his hair messily.
I opened my mouth, not knowing what to say when a manicured hand rested itself on his stomach, stopping him in his tracks.
“Haven’t see you in awhile. Where ya been?”
Stacey Williams had this thing about her.
What it was, I couldn’t say, but it was enough for JJ to keep going back for more. She was the only other girl in his life that he gave a fraction of his attention to.
That fact alone made me nervous.
Just walk away, JJ. Please just walk away.
Instead, he took a seat next to her and shot her smile that was reserved for me.
People stumble between us, blocking my view but I could still hear them conversing.
“You know me, Steis. I’m here, I’m there. Just doin’ me.”
She let out a giggle causing me to roll my eyes. He’s really not that funny.
“You haven’t been answering my calls. I figured, tonight you could come over and we could talk.”
My stomach tied itself in knots at the silence on his end. It was almost like he was contemplating going.
“I -I can’t tonight. I came with John b’s sister.”
I winced. That’s all I was to him?
I could see Stacey lean forward and slip her hand along the open slit of his muscle tee. “She follows you around like a lost puppy, JJ. It’s almost sad if it wasn’t so weird.”
I saw him shake his head. “It’s not like that, we’re both just dealing with everything the best way we can.”
Stacey rolled her eyes before she took a sip of her drink, “JJ, your hot but please tell me you’re not that blind. The girl is basically in love with you.”
Judging by the way JJ froze, I now knew that I misjudged every interaction we’ve had to this point. He didn’t even notice how I felt.
“What-I mean-no. She’s just a girl that needs help. I mean, come on. She’s just John B’s sister.”
The only thing more humiliating than finding out the person you want doesn’t want you, is finding out they were only there for you because of an obligation.
I wasn’t special to him. I was just John B’s little sister.
I think another part of me died right there, because yet again, I have lost another person I loved.
But this time, he wasn’t gone, no—he was right in front of me, but he might as well have been a million miles away or six feet under.
Eavesdropping is the quickest way to a broken heart. Words not meant for your ears strike your heart in a brutal assault until nothing remained.
Finally, the crowd that separated us moved and I stood there stupidly staring at him.
Feeling the weight of my gaze, JJ turned his head and his eyes widened before settling into a look of guilt.
I tore my gaze off of him and looked at her. The smug smile she wore told me she intended for me to hear what he had said.
My face heated, and I glanced down at the drink in my hand. How could I be so fucking stupid?
Ignoring the sickening twists in my stomach, I tossed back the strong liquor in my cup. The burning trail the tequila left is the feeling I decided to focus on.
Spinning around, my eyes searched for another cooler, desperate to keep the burning feeling going.
“Shit-Wait,” I could hear JJ shouting for me but I kept moving.
Finding a handle of tequila, I flicked the top off and took a pull. The bitter burn fell over my body with a fuzzy warmth.
JJ knocks the bottle out of my hand.
“What the fuck is your problem?”
“Since when do you drink like that?” He asked.
“Go away, JJ. I don’t need you to babysit me anymore.”
“Listen, if this is about what I said-“
“You’re free, JJ,” my voice trembled with pain,” You don’t need to waste any more of your time on me.”
I grabbed a red solo cup, sniffing the contents, and just as I was about to chug it back, his hand slaps it out of my own.
“Will you stop fucking drinking that-“ JJ’s baby blues narrowed as he growled at me.
“What are you, my dad? You’re taking this baby sitting gig a little too seriously.”
It was, then I noticed how many eyes were on us. The music was still blasting, but no one was dancing.
My breathing picked up at the sudden attention. I dug my nails into the palm of my hand to distract my body from the ever growing panic that plagued my body.
JJ’s eye clock in on my nervous tic causing his glare to soften. A figure approaching pulled my focus off of him.
Topper strides over with a drink in his hand and a lazy smile. “Hey man-“
“Top, your wearing sandals bro. Step off.”
“I’m just saying man, she doesn’t want to talk to you.”
JJ’s eyes darkened as a threatening smile slowly graced his lips. “Wanna run that by me again?”
“I forgot that you pouges are missing a couple brain cells,” Topper lolled his head to the side and shot me a wink, “Since you’re clearly a bit slow, I’ll spell it out for you. She. Doesn’t. Want. To. Talk. To. You.”
“I dont remember you being this cocky with a gun to your head.” The words were spoken softly but the threat was clear.
A storm brewed in JJ’s eyes as the bright blue was replaced by something much darker.
My heart jumped at his tone and the look in his eyes made me swallow hard. Disgust filled me as heat began to build between my legs forcing me to press my thighs together.
Hands up on surrender, Topper shot me a look before heading back to his friends. JJ’s eyes stayed on him for a beat ensuring that he wouldn’t come back.
When he was satisfied, JJ moved towards me in quick strides making me yelp in surprise.
His ring covered hand grasped my upper arm and tugged me back to his bike. I shrugged out of his hold and crossed my arms across my chest, hoping it’ll keep a safe distance between the two of us.
I couldn’t think clearly when he was close.
“Listen-“
“No thanks.”
“If you would just-“
“Go away.”
“Can you please stop acting-“
“Why don’t you go back to Stacy? I’m sure she’d find this conversation enlightening.” I spat, shoving his reaching hands away.
“I dont want to talk to Sta-“
“Are you sure? You seemed to have a lot to say be-“
“Jesus Christ, would you just shut up?” JJ shouted with his hands in his hair.
My mouth opened and closed in shock.
“You’re the most frustrating person on this fucking island.” He growled, shaking his head in false amusement.
“Then why are you still talking to me?”
“Because it’s you.”
Throwing my hands up in defeat, I let out a bleak laugh. “What does that even mean? Stop pretending you care. Stop pretending to be my-“
“I wasn’t pretending.” He shook his head, the blue orbs pleading for me to understand,”Stacey was just saying shit to get a reaction-“
“She wasn’t wrong.”
He stopped talking and stared at me, almost confused.
My body trembled slightly with nerves as I prepared to finally expose every bit of my heart to the blue eyed boy in front of me.
“What she said—about how I feel about you. She was right. Anybody with two fucking eyes can see how I feel about you, except for you.”
I furiously wiped my eyes stop the tears from falling. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
“But now I know you only see me as John B’s little sister. It’s just humiliating that you chose to say that to Stacey instead of me.”
I was going to throw up. My stomach churned and swayed but I swallowed down the urge.
JJ let out a harsh sound, “I feel fucking guilty, okay? I feel guilty that I don’t see you the way I should. John B was my best friend and now I’m falling for his sister? It’s eating at me.”
“Then leave-“
“Shut up,” He snapped. “You’ve already got to say what you wanted. It’s my turn.”
My throat tightened as I braced myself for his confession.
“I look at you and I have to stop myself from kissing you even though it’s all I can think about.”
His eye contact seared into my very soul. I could feel it pierce my pounding heart.
“So you aren’t the only one that feels something.”
My heart was in my throat as I processed his words.
“But you said-“
“I lied.” He cut me off with a shrug and advanced towards me, clearly fed up with the distance I placed between us.
In a last ditched effort, I put up my hands to stop him in his tracks. I needed to think. I needed to breathe.
“Don’t touch me.” The plea itself was weak at best.
At the sound of my sob, JJ ignores my demand, and shoves my hands away, despite my weak attempt to keep him out of my space.
Instantly, his fingers curl themselves along my wrist and take note of my pulse. He let out a distressed sound from what I can only assume is the pounding of my pulse and whispers soothing words.
Taking in gulps of air, he slowly counts me down to a manageable pace of breathing. My shaking slowly begins to subside and my very focus is just on him.
Resting his forehead on mine, JJ whispers pleadingly, “Please stop crying.”
Another kiss lands on my nose. “I’m sorry.”
His request along with his sweet pleadings, causes my defenses to crumble down. Another sob tears from my chest as I relax into his embrace.
“I didn’t mean it.” He muttered, brushing my tears away with his thumb.
“Then why did you say it?” My words were soft, barely a whisper.
“Because she’s not important enough to know how I feel.”
Our eyes were glued to each other, a deep unknown longing singeing us together.
“You said I was just some girl.”
JJ tilted my head up, his fingers trailing softly along my bottom lip, “I meant my girl.”
“I have a lot of baggage,” I gave him one more shot at leaving.
“Good thing I have a truck.”
“But she-“
He shook his head, leaning down so there’s just a sliver of space between our lips, so close that we were inhaling each others breaths.
“You’re the only one I want.”
JJ bent down, his arms circling themselves directly below my ass, and picked me up causing me to shout out in surprise.
My hands curled onto each of his arms, my stomach fluttering at the flex of his muscles. He set me on the seat of the bike, his large calloused hands gripped my upper thighs tightly sending a wave of heat right to my core.
JJ’s half lidded eyes dart between my gaze and my lips. “Tell me to stop.”
The words never crossed my lips.
He let out a sound of satisfaction, tugging my legs open to stand in between them.
His ring covered fingers danced along the strands of my hair before nesting themselves at the root, gripping the nape tightly, "You’re mine.”
Heat instantly swarmed my belly as I drastically tried to collect my thoughts. My lips trembled as he hovered over me, his figure towering over my small frame.
JJ swiped his tongue along my parted lips before biting gently. Instantly, my body jolted forward and we were chest to chest, perfectly aligned.
My grip on his biceps tightened as I tremble with anticipation.
Finally, he pressed his lips to mine, slowly guiding our kiss. Gripping my hair tighter, he tilts my head sliding his tongue inside.
A small whimper escaped my lips causing a groan to erupt from him. Almost lazily, he pulled back slightly and pulled my bottom lip into his, sucking softly.
White hot lust seared itself into my blood. I let out a whine and pushed myself up, pressing my lips to his, desperate for another taste of JJ.
My blood was pounding in my ears as I tugged him closer. Almost lazily, I teased his mouth open and slid my tongue inside. Humming with desire, I gently sucked on his tongue causing him to flex his grip on my thighs.
JJ pulled back giving me the opportunity to catch my breath. His fingertips left a heated trail along my face as he caressed every inch.
He shook his head, laughing to himself softly,” It’s you. It’s always been you.”
______________
I love sassy JJ. Sorry for the delayed upload, I got into a car accident and am just now starting to get better:)
Please let me know what you think!! Next piece will be yummy smut with Rafe
#jj maybank#jj maybank angst#jj maybank fanfiction#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank masterlist#jj maybank smut#jj maybank x reader#obx#obx fanfiction#obx smut#rudy pankow#rudy pankow smut#JJ maybank imagines#outer banks smut#outerbanks imagine#outerbanks imagines#outer banks fanfiction#obx3#obx jj#obx imagine
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Unhinged theory
Okay so this theory is complete bullshit and doesn't have any merit but I just wanted to get it out of my system.
I wonder why Shizu didn't eat the kids the moment she killed them. Like we know that when you're turned into a demon you're overcome by a hunger so great that you won't be able to think straight.
Like okay, maybe she wanted to finish off Genya before she started feasting but she could have just eaten them, it's not like Genya posed any actual danger and her movements were too calculated like oneshotting all 4 kids including Koto and breaking the lights right before attacking Genya.
So here's my theory, I think Shizu deliberately killed her kids. Why? Because she was tired of them. Y'know how becoming a demon brings out the twisted version of your soul like Akaza's fighting, Dakis obsession with beauty and Gyutaros hatred of humanity, and Hantengu's entire existence? What if Shizu deep down was tired of being a mom? And she low-key resented her kids? What if she was tired of seeing them suffer?
Genya said she was very small but what if in reality she was just very young? Like in her late teens? It's not so out there after all Tamayo is 19 biologically and she had a husband and kids. Shizu could have been 14 or 15 when she had Sanemi.
So this is a young girl, married this older man, probably out of necessity or against her will, and given Kyogo's violence there's a chance that some of the kids were a product of rape.
She's living in poverty, married to an absolute dick of a husband who beats her all while trying to make ends meet and take care of SEVEN kids!
Even for the Taisho era, seven kids is a lot and other people seem to think so too, in the light novel Genya remembers how their landlord's son used to taunt them as 'the poor people with a lot of kids'.
The thing that really cemented this theory for me is the afterlife scene with Sanemi. Her shame. Not sadness or despair but shame. Shame so strong she doesn't even want to alert her kids to her existence and she covers her face and hides when she sees Sanemi. What if that shame stems from guilty? Guilt over her resentment towards her kids?
I'm not saying that Shizu hated her kids, but what if she was just...tired? Tired of being used as a punching bag? Tired of seeing her babies get hurt and go hungry every night? Tired of being treated like dirt and having people make fun of her family? Tired of being judged for circumstances that were out of her control? Tired of struggling? Tired of her life? Tired of everything?
Regarding Sanemi and Genya, I feel like they both have an idealized image of their mother and that's probably why Sanemi refused to accept the knowledge that Nezuko could resist attacking humans by thinking about her family, because then he would have to face the truth that maybe their mother never really loved them? Or that her love wasn't as strong as he thought?
It's a really hard pill to swallow for a lot of us because we don't want to think about the fact that our moms, even if they love us or at least tolerate us, may not have wanted us or may have thought their lives would've been better if they hadn't had us.
This isn't uncommon in real life either. The subreddit r/regretfulparents has over 120k members, then there's this insightful thread where parents who regret having kids share their feelings, there's also experiences from women here and here.
Something to think about. I'm sorry but I feel like the Shinazugawa kids, all they truly had was each other and they didn't know it. They never really stood a chance.
Yea so...
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#sanemi shinazugawa#kny spoilers#kny anime#genya shinazugawa#demon slayer anime#unhinged theory#sanemi#kny genya#shizu shinazugawa
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in another life
pairing: thief!seungcheol x princess!reader
genre: fluff, angst, THIS IS A SAD ENDING
w/c: 8k
summary: you loved choi seungcheol more than anything but it was a love that was bound to fail. maybe in another life the two of you could have been together.
warnings: character death
a/n: bringing one of the old ones back from httphannie, i was gonna try and improve it but i honestly already liked it so much so i just left it be. hope it breaks your heart <3
The first time you met Choi Seungcheol was when you were 12.
Sneaking around the castle wasn’t something you usually did. Technically you weren’t doing anything wrong, you were just getting some cookies. What was wrong with that? You made sure not to make any sudden movement or any loud noises. Your parents wouldn’t be happy if they saw you in your nightgown stuffing your face with cookies.
You were meant to be the perfect princess.
You were making your way down the stairs when you realised that something seemed off. There should have been a very expensive vase from Italy right in front of you that had been gifted to your mother but there wasn’t. And there was meant to be that priceless painting that was a wedding present for your parents that wasn't there either.
Then you heard the faint sound of the door creak. At first you thought it was one of the servants then you heard the hushed male voices. You had lived in the palace for 12 years and in those 12 years you’d gotten to know every single one of your servants. These two voices weren’t at all familiar to you. Their footsteps seemed to approach you, softly hitting the floor. You didn’t realise that you had stopped breathing, scared at who or what might have been around the corner.
“Goddammit Mingyu, I told you not to touch anything!” A voice hissed. “This is our first mission and we can’t afford to mess it up!”
“Remind me why we’re robbing the palace as our first mission again?” Another voice asked, slightly higher than the one before. “I mean it’s much too dangerous, we’re just kids Cheol.”
“Oh shut up Mingyu. We’ve just got to make sure not to run into anyone otherwise we’re dead-” A body bumped into you, making you squeak. “What the?! Who are you?!” The boy in front of you couldn’t have been much older than you are. There was an obvious scowl that was etched onto his face. You gulped.
“Seungcheol, that’s the princess.” The boy next to him, Mingyu you presumed, whispered as if he was afraid of you. He was younger than Seungcheol and he offered you a meek little smile.
Both of them were dressed all in black. The sacks they were carrying were a dead giveaway on what they were meant to be doing. You furrowed your eyebrows. There had been a number of incidents that seemed to be happening all around the kingdom. A gang had been set up and every night things were being stolen from all the monumental sights. No doubt these two were part of it.
“You guys are petty thieves.”
The look on their face morphed into annoyance.
“We’re not petty thieves, we’re hardcore criminals and won’t be associated with some nitwit dumbassess that can’t stay hidden.” The oldest scoffed, rolling his eyes.
“You couldn’t stay hidden.”
Mingyu let out a tiny laugh at your remark while Seungcheol’s face flushed bright red. You could only give him a sly smile.
“What are you doing up anyway, princess?” Seungcheol steered the topic away, placing you under the hot spot. “Shouldn’t you be catching up on your beauty sleep?” The two of them stifled their laughs as you looked at them confused.
“I was hungry.” You frowned. “What’s wrong with getting a midnight snack?”
The word ‘snack’ seemed to perk the two of them up. It was like they had forgotten all about they’re so called ‘mission’ and they looked at you with wide eyes. Mingyu grabbed Seungcheol’s arm, whispering in his ear incoherently. Ever so often, Seungcheol would nod and hum.
“So Miss…?”
“Seungcheol, she’s Princess Y/n, how dumb are you?” Mingyu interrupted his friend as he pinched in between his nose bridge.
“Oh shut it Gyu, not everyone studies history as methodically as you.” Seungcheol cleared his throat and he made his voice go higher when he spoke next. “Anyway, Miss Y/n, my name is Choi Seungcheol and that is Kim Mingyu. We would be delighted if you could show us your delicacies.”
He sounded oddly posh. No one ever spoke like that. Was he mocking you?
“Why do you sound like that?”
Seungcheol spluttered, his cheeks turned red once again. “Just show us the snacks, princess, I can’t wait forever.”
You shrugged. What harm could they do anyway? They'd get into trouble in about five seconds flat if they did anything to you. All you had to do was scream and alert the guards on night duty. Speaking of night duty. You’ve got to tell your father to tighten security. If two dumb teenage boys could sneak in the palace, who else could?
Softly, the three of you walked down the hallway, footsteps muffled by the plush carpeting beneath your feet. A faint glow spilled from the slightly ajar door of the kitchens as it illuminated the hallway with a soft golden hue. You heard the familiar tune of a song only one person would know. Beside you, Seungcheol and Mingyu tensed, both realising that someone else was in the kitchens.
“You said you wouldn’t tell anyone!”
“Don't worry.” You shushed them, dragging them in the kitchen. A boy looked up at you, grinning. His soft cinnamon hair swept away from his face. “Jun’s completely harmless.” You reassured both of them.
“Who’re your friends, Y/n?” Junhui jumped off the counter. He offered his hand to both of them. “I’m Junhui, but you can call me Jun, my dad’s the head chef here.”
“Jun makes the best chocolate chip cookies and he always makes sure to keep a special stash just for me.” You looked at the boy completely enamoured.
Wen Junhui was the definition of perfection. He was a gentleman, he was polite, he knew how to cook and he was handsome. The whole package. You’d known each other since you were little. The crush you harboured for him was huge, nearly everyone could tell by your puppy eyes and how you’d constantly visit the kitchens for ‘snacks’ as you put it. Even your parents had given up asking you to stop going to the kitchens. They couldn’t stop you anyway.
Seungcheol stared as you made heart eyes at the boy. You were such an obvious person. How did this Junhui guy not know how much you like him?
"I made a batch for you." Junhui scratched his head. "But I don't think it would be enough for four people. I'd have to make more. Don't worry it won't take too long." He scurried away as he got ready to bake another batch.
You led both of them away and sat them down on the wooden table at the back. The jar you took out was filled to the brim with cookies. You hand one to both of them not before stuffing a few of them into your mouth. Soft chatter soon filled the air. The four of you didn’t really notice as the clock ticked and as hours whizzed by. You learnt a lot about Seungcheol and Mingyu despite the small bickering that would erupt ever so often.
You and Seungcheol didn’t exactly get along well.
It wasn’t until Jun had to remind you that it was nearly time for the servants to wake up that you realised how long you had actually been up. Seungcheol and Mingyu said they had to go as well and they said their goodbyes to both you and Jun.
When you were back, nestled in your bed you thought back to the time you spent with the two boys. It was nice to have friends your age again. Being by yourself was quite lonely and now since you were ‘growing up’ it was important to learn how to become a young lady.
Secretly you hoped that the two boys would come back but you could never be so sure.
//
You were 15 when Choi Seungcheol kissed you.
It was utterly stupid. The fact that your governess had scolded you because you had forgotten your homework was stupid. Why was homework even important? You rested your head on your hands, leaning back against the thick tree. The sun shone down and it was a warm afternoon. You ran your hands through your messy locks.
“How are you doing princess?” You shrieked when a face swung down from above. From one of the branches hung Choi Seungcheol, the smug grin plastered on his face. Blonde strands fell close to your face as he swung to and fro and you realised that his once natural black hair was now gone.
You and Seungcheol weren’t friends per se, you were more like frenemies. There were times he would be useful and you’d help him and in return he’d help you out. It was like friends with benefits, minus the sex. He’d developed a really annoying personality once he turned 15 one year ago.
A flirty persona, that is. It irked you more than anything.
The random pick up lines he’d drop out of nowhere and the flying kisses he’d blow at you. When you had first met three years ago, he was a sane 13 year old, speaking normally. Now, he was a raging 16 year old that liked to flirt with the ladies and charm their socks off. He was still a thief though. For some reason he’d always drop by the palace and occasionally you’d find your things go missing whenever he ‘visited’. Or sometimes he’d leave items that you knew were stolen.
You had been really good friends with Mingyu, bonding over your love for books. The literature in the palace library was enough to make the poor boy faint. He would often visit with Seungcheol returning the books he borrowed or to borrow new things. They both had introduced you to the rest of their ‘gang’ as they called it.
They seemed nice enough. A few of the members were cautious around you, however over time they had started to warm up to you. Seokmin had grinned so widely you were afraid he would break his jaw when he first met you. Shaking your hand enthusiastically, babbling about how much he wanted to visit the palace but he’d been assigned with some idiot to the kingdom’s museum.
They all seemed nice enough. The constant chattering and laughing always made you smile. You considered them your friends, especially since you didn’t have anyone to hang out with besides Jun at the palace.
“Seriously Seungcheol, I told you to stop calling me that.” You resisted the urge to throw a book at his annoying face. “I was doing fine before you came.”
“Are you sure about that princess? You cursing at your governess doesn’t say that.”
“How did you know that?!” You’d done that in your private bathroom, granted you hadn't been naked at that time but still! “Choi Seungcheol, were you spying on me?!”
His cheeks grew red. “Y/n! Of course not, I have some humanity and dignity in me! I just - you know what nevermind.”
He swung down, plopping in front of you, his eyes twinkling with mischief.
"I've got something for you."
"Listen, if it's one of your stolen trinkets again I don't want it." You huffed, crossing your arms. You'd received too many 'gifts' lately and it was beginning to worry you.
Fortunately, most of the things were returnable or either stolen from the palace. It was still worrying. You were the royal princess. It would be a disgrace to be associated with a lowly thief. But you couldn't leave Seungcheol much less leave everyone else.
He cocked his head to the side. “I don’t steal that much Y/n, you’re exaggerating.” You raised your eyebrows. “Okay, maybe I do steal but that doesn’t mean it’s part of my personality.”
“Never said it was.”
“I-” He let out a breath, shooting you an annoyed look. “Doesn’t matter, just close your eyes.”
"I swear to god Seungcheol, I'm gonna lose it if you pull something stupid." You reluctantly closed your eyes. Even though you didn't trust him one bit, he was still one of your best friends, though he was irritating.
Seungcheol leaned forward, the shadows he casted on your face made your breath hitch. You felt him slip something behind your ear. He lingered for a second, staring at your pouty lips. He really shouldn’t, not when you still had that stupid crush on Jun. Your eyes fluttered open, a gasp leaving your throat when you saw how close the both of you were. Yet you didn't move.
All you did was stare into Seungcheol’s chocolate brown eyes. Nothing was spoken. Time was frozen and you could hear your own heart beating loud and clear. You let your eyes wander down to the curve of his lips. Lips that were so pretty and irresistible.
He leaned in and you melted when his lips touched yours, letting his breath fill you up. The kiss was sweet and slow. You closed your eyes, snaking your arms around his neck. Thoughts left you, all you could feel were his lips on yours, moving against them. The both of you pulled away, no words were exchanged. His thumb brushed over your lips.
“Can I-”
You kiss him again, interrupting his words. His hands caressed the side of your cheek and you relaxed under his touch. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach and you indulged in his warm touch. Seungcheol felt right. He felt like everything you had ever wanted. His touch, his scent, his taste. It seemed as though everything fit perfectly.
The sounds around you ceased and all you could feel were his lips on yours. When you both pulled away, your cheeks were flushed scarlet. No words came out of your mouth and Seungcheol looked as equally perplexed as you did. Both of you didn’t say anything for a while.
You seemed to snap back in shock scrambling away quickly. Apologies fell from your lips and you left Seungcheol alone, dashing back inside your palace. He stared at the place you once were. Maybe if you’d looked back you would have seen the way he looked at you. Maybe you’d figure it out but you were you.
Seungcheol merely smiled, touching his lips. He would wait as long as it takes.
//
You had your heart broken at the age of 16.
Crushes lasted a few months didn't they? They would probably last for a few years at maximum. Well, you seemed to exceed that rule. How long has it been since you liked Jun? 12, 13 years? You certainly were a special case. All that time you were convinced that he liked you back. The constant cookies he had baked for you meant something, didn't it?
Well, you were wrong.
It was a normal Monday morning. You had just finished your classes and you were going to visit Jun like usual. Skipping down the hallway all jittery and excited. You had planned to tell him you liked him. You had a whole speech planned out.
All of it left your brain when you opened the kitchen door to see him making out with Kim Soojin. You could hear your heart break at his actions. Funnily enough, you had just stayed there, not taking your eyes off the happy pair. Secrets normally spread like wildfire through the palace, you only could assume that they had just gotten together.
You didn't hate Soojin. How could you?
It wasn’t like she intended to fall for Jun. He was everything anyone could dream for, you couldn’t blame her to be honest. There were times you’d notice the sneaky glances Jun would take at the girl whenever she came into the kitchens. The longing looks he would throw at her, which she would return. Deep down you knew that there was something going on. You just thought that maybe you stood a chance.
Obviously you thought wrong.
You cleared your throat awkwardly, trying to catch their attention. Tears were threatening to burst but you kept them at bay, not wanting to cry in front of them. Instead you smiled.
“Didn’t know you guys were a thing.”
Jun and Soojin turned to look at you, both of them scrambling apart. Both sporting matching red faces.
“Y-Yeah, we just got together recently.” He scratched the back of his neck, unsure of what to say. “You won’t tell anyone, will you?”
“Of course not.” Your heart broke even more. Tiny pieces falling apart. “Your secret’s safe with me.”
The two of them grin, thanking you profusely over and over again. The whole time you kept smiling. Soojin was nice, she was kind and smart. A perfect match for Jun. You were meant to despise her but how could you compete with that? You were better off just cheering on the sidelines.
“Oh Y/n, did you come here for something?” Jun looked at you. You noticed his hands intertwined with Soojin. A sickening feeling had begun to build up in your stomach.
“I, um, no. It’s nothing. You two enjoy your time together. Don’t get caught by anyone.” You warned playfully. They giggled. Waving you bye as you closed the door.
Your room was deadly silent when you entered. You refused to cry. The feelings you thought you had disappeared. You stared at your feet. A small voice at the back of your head seemed to tell you not to worry. Obviously Jun wasn’t the guy you were meant to be with. The right person would come sooner or later. You just had to wait.
The sound of the wind made you look up. Your window was open, you swore it wasn’t before. That could only mean one thing.
“Well, hello princess.” Seungcheol taps your shoulder and you whirled around. His bright smile was wiped off his face when he saw you. Your eyes were red and glassy, you were blinking quickly, rubbing your eyes. “Hey, why are you crying? Princess, you alright?”
A beat goes by before you let out a loud sob and hug him. He wrapped his arms around you. The words were muffled but he catches ‘Jun’ and ‘kissing’ and ‘stupid crush’. Your tears kept streaming down your face, soft hiccups accompanying them.
Seungcheol pulled you away to avoid him getting drenched by your tears also because he didn’t want you to suffocate. Your eyes were red and puffy. Your lips were trembling. He sighed, cupping your cheeks.
“You know better than to cry over some guy. Come on Y/n, you don’t need to waste your tears on something like this.” He held your hands tightly as you sniffed. The sincerity that laced his gentle tone was what tipped you over and you started sobbing again. Seungcheol started panicking. Did he say something wrong? “Hey hey hey! Why’re you crying again?”
“W-Why are you b-being so nice?”
He chuckled, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Because I don’t like seeing you cry and I guess I care about you.”
You giggled, wiping away your tears. “I guess I care about you as well Choi Seungcheol.”
He simply pinched your cheeks and you slapped his hands away. “Now, can you help me return this crown I found?” The accessory dangling from his fingers made you laugh.
“How did you even manage to grab that?”
“I have skilled hands princess, I’m a thief for a reason.” The charming smile on his face had you grinning. The thoughts of Jun and Soojin were long gone. You fixed your gaze on the beautiful gems that were encrusted into your crown. The pretty sapphires glinted. You had many crowns, you could spare one of them.
“You can keep it.”
Seungcheol’s jaw fell open. You had always made him return whatever he stole and he always did. But you had never asked him to keep something. The crown was beautiful and you surely had other ones to replace it but why would you give it to him willingly.
“Keep it as a memory of when you finally admitted you’re a petty thief.” You grinned cheekily, sticking your tongue out at him.
“You’re a brat, you know that?” He rolled his eyes, pocketing your crown. “I’m not a petty thief I’m a-”
“Hardcore criminal, yeah you’ve told me.”
“Keep that in mind princess, I’ve been training ever since I was 3.” He smirked. “You shouldn’t doubt me.” You shrieked when he jumped out of the window, rushing to peer outside. When you do, he’s sitting on a tree, grinning right at you.
“Don’t do that!”
“Check your pockets!” He shouted as he disappeared, probably to meet the boys somewhere in town.
You fumbled around your pockets, confused. Your fingers brushed something and you pulled it out. A single rose lay in your palm. The colour a deep red, the delicate petals lay softly on you. You giggled.
Guess he really did have good hands.
//
You told Seungcheol you loved him when you were 19.
It had been the night of your 19th birthday. Your parents had thrown you a grand party in the palace ballroom, inviting all the neighbouring kingdoms to celebrate. There were so many people and you were made to go to each and every one to thank them for coming. You never asked for such a big birthday party and you would’ve much preferred not having a party but your parents had insisted.
By the time it hit 10pm the party was in full swing. Other nobility were drinking from their flutes of champagne and some were taking the floor to dance. Many had asked you for a dance to which you had reluctantly agreed. It was all a big blur. Bright lights and forced laughter.
It was way past midnight when you managed to make it up to your room. You were beyond exhausted. Your parents had made you interact with every single guest and you wanted to bury yourself into your bed so badly.
Darkness surrounded you as you entered your room and your feet automatically brought you to where your bed was. Too tired to function, you flopped down onto the covers and as you did something hissed. Your reaction is immediate and you jump up and flick the lamp on your bedside hurriedly.
Seungcheol greeted you with bleary eyes and a pained expression on his face.
“Did you have to throw your body onto me?”
“Wha-What are you doing here?!” You questioned, shocked at his face.
“I came to wish you a happy birthday.” He rolled his eyes. “But you were taking forever at that party of yours and I got tired.”
Seungcheol tugged the covers away from his body and sat up. He ran his fingers through his hair, dragging his fingertips through the knots. You watched when he finally looked up at you.
“What?”
You frowned at his actions. “You stayed here for hours just for me to get back.”
Seungcheol’s cheeks turned pink and he cleared his throat. “Well, you are my friend are you not?”
You shuffled in your position, crossing your legs on the bed. “Yes of course we’re friends, but you didn’t have to stay here for so long. What if I took longer.”
“Then I’d still wait.” He shrugged. His eyes wandered over the fancy dress you were still wearing, finally locking them with yours. “That doesn’t look too comfortable.”
It’s a weird feeling but you felt your heart pound like it did all those years ago when you first kissed him. You blinked silently, trying to steady your heart from jumping out of your mouth. Seungcheol was no longer the teenage boy you once knew. He had grown up and he had lost the baby fat in his cheeks as well as the boyish charm he once held. He was handsome and sexy dare you admit it. There were multiple occasions he would make you stare at him and you couldn’t help the thoughts that would come into your mind.
Like right now.
“Princess?” His voice was soft, a whisper and he inched closer to your face, wondering why you had suddenly gone quiet.
You gulped. “Cheol…can I kiss you?”
His eyes widened, obviously taken aback at what you had just said. You looked up at him, body already burning from god knows what. Seungcheol’s eyes flitted down to your lips and even though there was little light you could see the way his pupils widened and his eyes turned darker.
The distance between the two of you grew shorter and shorter until you were millimetres away and his hand came up to touch the back of your neck. You shivered at the sensation, breath hitching.
It was in less than a second that Seungcheol closed the gap between the both of you. His lips crashed onto yours and it was like a perfect fit. His lips were soft and the feeling of them on yours caused your body to feel light. Your arms snaked around his neck and you pulled him closer towards you. The sweet taste made your head spin and you continued to kiss him passionately.
All those days after you had kissed Seungcheol there was an unrelenting spark that never went out. Sure, he had acted like everything was normal but you never missed the glances he would throw at you. In a way you both knew what you felt but you had constantly denied it.
You weren’t now though.
The man in front of you kissed you with fire and you melted into his arms once again. Choi Seungcheol made you feel things that no one ever had and maybe this was love and if it was you wanted it to last forever.
The two of you eventually pulled away breathless and panting. His eyes locked with yours and you felt an unknown emotion well up inside of you. It wasn’t like anything you had felt before and it overtook you, consuming you whole.
“What now?” He whispered into your hair. “Are we going to forget about this or…?”
You stayed quiet before softly speaking up. “Do you want to forget about this?”
“Of course not, you’re precious to me Y/n, I’d do anything for you.”
You flushed at the sudden confession. “Well I don’t want to forget about this either. So does this mean that we’re…”
Seungcheol chuckled as he gave you a chaste kiss. “You’re mine now princess, and I’m yours.”
There was silence for a while. Pleasant and sweet silence. The two of you stayed cuddled up in each other's arms for a good few minutes, basking in each other's warmth. You could have stayed in Seungcheol’s embrace for an eternity.
“Cheol.” You looked up at the guy you had known for so many years. The tender love that filled his eyes made your heart swell and pound in your chest, begging to be free. “I love you.”
A beat passed.
Seungcheol’s face split into a grin and he tugged you closer towards him.
“I love you even more.”
Needless to say that night was the happiest night of both of your lives.
//
You were 21 when you were told you had to be married off.
The items on your table were scattered across the floor along with your clothes. There didn’t seem to be anything you could do to stop your father’s decision. Your tears kept streaming down your face, your soft hiccups echoing through your room. The news had been brought on you so soon, you couldn’t comprehend what even happened back there. All you knew was you were going to be married off to some man that you wouldn’t even love.
You flopped down on your bed. The bright sun outside was a stark contrast to your emotions. The world obviously didn’t realise you were upset. You were only 21, so young and not ready to get married. There was still so much to explore, so much to discover, not to mention you were in love with Choi Seungcheol. How could you get married? What would that mean?
Seungcheol stood outside of your door. He silently listened to your soft sobs. Maybe he had been eavesdropping back in the throne room. So what? He only wanted to know what seemed so important. The moment he had learnt that you were meant to be married off, it felt like his heart was ripped out of his chest. He would never admit it but he knew he wasn’t the one meant for you no matter how much he loved you.
Normally, he’d barge right in and greet you but he couldn’t. Whenever his fingers brushed the door knob he’d flinch away like it burnt him. In all the years he’d never heard you cry, that is except when you’d seen Jun sucking Soojin’s face off. The situation he was in shocked him too much. What was he meant to do?
“Is she alright?” Jun knelt down beside Seungcheol. “She hasn’t come out in a while?”
“She’s still crying.” He simply shook his head. You were 21, surely you didn’t have to get married. “She has no other option does she? She’s their only daughter, they’ll grant her whatever she wants right.”
Junhui grimaced. “Not this time Seungcheol, I don’t think so.” The boy stood up, dusting his clothes. Jun and Seungcheol had bonded over the years, the rest of the gang seemed to like him as well so that was a bonus. The two of them were friends. “Are you going to wait for her?”
“Yeah, someone’s got to be there when she comes out.”
Several hours later, the door creaked open. Seungcheol bolted up. He was greeted with your tear stained face. There was a part of him that knew it was better to leave you alone but he couldn’t. Instead he hugged you close and gave you a kiss. You wrapped your arms around his waist.
“Are you doing better?”
“I’m okay.” Your voice was soft and quiet. “You should go.”
Seungcheol frowned. “You must be crazy to think I’d actually leave you.” He grabbed your hand. “Let’s go outside for a bit, get some fresh air.” He attempted to pull you with him but you remained rooted to the spot, your feet refusing to budge from the ground as if tethered by invisible chains.
His gaze lingered upon you, drinking in the subtle nuances of your demeanour - the avoidance of his eyes, the restless fidgeting of your hands, the nervous bite of your lip. There was something wrong, something that gnawed at the edges of his consciousness like a persistent whisper.
“Listen.” You pulled your hand out of his grasp. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Things are a bit...complicated.”
Seungcheol's world screeched to a halt, disbelief painting his features as he struggled to comprehend what you had just said. "Y-You want me to leave?” You nodded. “Like forever."
This time you hesitated for a second but you still nodded your head. He didn’t believe you’re being genuine on this. There was no way you’d ask him to leave. He’d known you for many years but why now?
“Well, I’m not going anywhere until you tell me why. I’m not giving up on us.”
Normally, you would start giggling and give him a sweet kiss and finally give in to him. All you did was sigh and look away. No emotions on your face.
“Just go Seungcheol.” You stared at him lifelessly. Your eyes were a deep void of nothingness. He opened his mouth to start arguing with you but closed it. What could he do? He’s nothing compared to you. “Go before I call the guards.”
He stood still determined not to leave but then he saw the pain in your eyes. The tiredness. You sighed, turning away to leave.
"Is this it then? You’re just going to give up on us?" Seungcheol glared at you. It was insane that you'd think that he'd leave you when you both had known each other for so long. "We both know that you’re lying to yourself."
Your eyes hardened to stone and you barred your teeth. "You're delusional."
"If I am then you are too." He snarled, stepping closer to you. His eyes softened and he held your hand, squeezing it tightly. "I love you."
You faltered at the three words. He’d say them all the time but this time it made you feel weak. Even though Seungcheol was angry you could tell that those three words were pleading for you to say them back. It was an internal fight and you looked down at your hand in his. You knew what would happen if you were caught with him and now your father was already suspicious. You couldn’t risk Seungcheol’s life like that.
"Y/n I love you and I always have, please don’t do this." He pleaded. You bit your lip, closing your eyes as you took a deep shaky breath. "Please don’t do this, not to us please. Did it not mean anything to you?"
"I-I…" You flinched when he reached out to touch you. There was a rock at the pit of your stomach and you didn’t know why but your throat was closing up and you could feel tears begin to prick your eyes again. "Seungcheol I can't…"
"Why not?!"
"You know why!"
The truth was bitter and vile. It was cruel and it was ugly. The truth that neither of you dared to voice aloud. Tears were streaming down your face and you wiped them away furiously trying to get them to stop.
"Don't you get it?" You pushed him away. "It's not going to work, it's impossible and we both know that. Just leave Seungcheol, I don't need you anymore."
“Y/n it isn’t funny when you say those things.”
You didn’t respond. Seungcheol sighed, already knowing your answer. Reluctantly, he left you alone. This time he was the one leaving you and he didn’t look back. Maybe if he did he’d see you, heartbroken, stifling sobs.
//
ONE YEAR LATER
"Someone was spotted last night." A guard reported to your father. "They were looking for something."
You tensed. It had been nearly a year since you had kicked Seungcheol out. One year of utter silence in your life. You didn't receive any more gifts nor did you have some chatter to fill your lonely void. You missed everything about him. From his sweet kisses to his laughter that never failed to cheer you up. When he stopped appearing so did the others and as more and more months passed you deluded yourself into thinking that they hated you. Because how could they not?
To hear that someone was nearly caught last night was nerve-wracking. However you were positive it wouldn't be one of them. They'd know better to show their face here. Your father had tightened the security around the palace, apparently you were at the tender age to be kidnapped and ransomed. To set foot in the palace was like setting foot into a death trap.
"Did you catch them?" Your father glared at the guard when he shook his head. "Did you at least find some clues to who this mystery person is?"
The guard gulped, his eyes flickered to you for a second. "They left a note." You swallowed your food thickly. "Outside the princess's window."
This time you tried not to choke on the food. Your hope about it not being one of the guys grew dimmer and dimmer.
"Well, hand it over." Your father snatched the piece of paper off the guard's hand, eyes scanning the note. His eyes fixed on you and you know what's about to happen. "Check the perimeter for any sight of suspicion. You're dismissed."
The guard scurried away not before giving you a small apologetic glance.
"What's wrong my dear?" Your mother's tone was laced with worry. "Is everything alright?"
"Looks like someone wants to meet Y/n tomorrow night." You didn’t have to look up to know that his eyes were burning into you. It was like he was trying to cook you alive for answers. "Anything you have to say?"
You kept your mouth shut, poking at your breakfast.
Your father lowered his voice. “You’re going to help capture this criminal and god forbid you disobey me.” He hissed. “Understand Y/n.”
You didn’t move, frozen in shock. “Y-Yes, father.” You just hoped that it wasn’t who you thought it was.
//
It was cold. Cold and windy. You were standing on your balcony, fiddling with the note in your hands. No doubt about it. You recognised the handwriting and it felt like fate was sealed. There were guards hidden everywhere possible.
Your heart was pounding and your palms were sweaty.
“Didn't think you’d actually come.”
You spun around. Seungcheol was leaning against the door. He’d grown taller since you last saw him and he had dyed his hair again. If it wasn’t under these circumstances you’d be overjoyed to see him again but all you could feel was guilt. The dreading feeling of guilt and shame.
His bright grin was wiped away when he heard a noise. His eyes widened in terror as he looked at you. It’s a pleading look and you didn’t meet his eyes.
“You did it, didn’t you?” Seungcheol shook his head.
It’s a sickening sight to see him get handcuffed. It would've been better if he had started shouting or at least given you a glare. But all he did was sigh as if he knew it was coming. You didn’t speak a word. Even when he was dragged out of your room and your father told you that you did a good job. You didn’t respond.
It’s only when you were sure everyone’s gone that you let the tears break. You slid down the wall, muttering sorry over and over again. The guilt ate you up, consuming you. The feeling was suffocating and even though your sobs were quiet you still felt like you were being torn apart. There was a new hole in your heart that’s bigger than the rest and this time you had no one to blame but yourself.
//
“Choi Seungcheol, you are charged with multiple attempts of theft and one attempt of treason. You will follow the normal punishment of a death sentence, you have the right to defend yourself.”
The treason bit was a lie. The royal court had made that up, like they did for everything that they deemed wrong. You blinked back tears at the sight of Seungcheol kneeling on the floor, hands tied behind his back. He was thinner and paler, being locked in a cell for days on end had taken its toll. There were dark bags under his eyes and his clothes were dirty. Yet his eyes were still bright and lively as if he wasn't about to be heavily punished. The dark orbs were twinkling with the familiar mischief as he stared at you.
“Any last words?”
He keeps his gaze trained on you, lips tugging into a tiny grin. “Check your pockets.”
Your breath hitched and your eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when your fingers brushed something cold. Upon touching the object you’ve got a pretty good idea about what it was and when your hands brush a tiny rock you felt like crying again. Your parents were too busy mumbling to notice as you slipped away back into the shadows.
You pulled the object out of your pocket and you smiled blissfully. A silver ring with a beautiful diamond in the centre. It wasn’t big and flashy like the jewels you owned in the palace but it was enough. More than enough. A tear fell and then another and another. Before you knew it you were biting back sobs, slipping the ring onto your finger. You curl into a ball like you were five again, wiping away the tears that fall freely.
Once you returned Seungcheol was gone and your parents were looking at you disappointed.
"Y/n you really shouldn't disappear like that." Your father reprimanded.
"Where's Seungcheol?"
"You mean that criminal." He scoffed. "Locked away, execution is set for tomorrow."
Your face paled and your fingers brushed over the ring. He would do the same for you if you were in his position. It's a split second decision when you dashed away, your parents shouting for you to come back. You ignored their cries, running to the dungeons, a guard caught you by your shoulders, stopping you from going further.
“Stop it.” You shouted, wriggling desperately. “Stop it, let me through.”
They apologise profusely all while dragging you back to your parents. The royal court was already dismissed and it's only you, your father and mother in the room. You didn’t dare to make eye contact with both of them. It was stupid how they still treat you like a child.
Instead of speaking you simply trudged up to your room. You heard your father muttering to the guards about keeping an eye on you so you wouldn’t escape. There was no use in that, no matter how tight the security measures you were going to find a way out. You had to.
//
It was the dead of night and you were creeping around the palace like you once did when you were younger. You had managed to slip by the guards and now you were making your way down to the dungeons. If you had guessed correctly, the guard who was on duty tonight liked to drink so you may have slipped a few sleeping pills into his drink before bed. He should be fast asleep by now.
Sure enough when you pushed the door open the guard was fast asleep on the floor, soft snores escaping his lips. You silently walked over, plucking the keys from his belt. There weren’t many people in the dungeons, you didn’t really keep prisoners. So there was only one cell that was occupied.
Seungcheol was leaning against the dirty brick wall, hands still cuffed. There was a small rock that he's throwing at the wall as he whistled. Somehow he managed to still look stunning while in a rotting jail cell. He looked up when you grabbed the cell bars trying to unlock it as quietly as possible. His eyes flickered to the ring on your finger and he wistfully smiled.
"I see you've received my gift."
It was infuriating how he was so calm in this situation, how it seemed like he didn't care. He had a death date all set up for him and his life was in the line. How could anyone be calm in this situation?
"Why'd you give me this?" You took a shaky breath when he got up, walking closer. His eyes softened.
"Because I love you." He let out a little laugh. "Have since I met you."
You were crying again. The both of you know it's not possible. It wouldn't work. You'd drilled that thought into your head. His hand caressed your cheek and you saw his eyes were glassy as well.
"Whatever happens tomorrow, promise me you won't blame yourself." Seungcheol's handcuffs jangle when they hit the metal bars. You shake your head. "It's not your fault that it ended this way."
You were choking back tears. "Y-You can't just give me a r-ring and die you moron. I-It's not fair."
Seungcheol rolled his eyes, chuckling. "Don't think of it as dying silly." He reached out to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. "Think of it as a long…disappearance. You can always still visit the boys in the cabin if you want. They've missed you."
"I sent their f-friend to jail." You deadpanned.
"Yeah but you also gave their friend the best years of his life. The time I spent with you Y/n are the best moments of my life.”
You sniffled, wiping your tears. "I hate you."
"No, you don't." He teased, poking your cheek. "You love me."
A moment of silence passed with you staring at the thief you grew up with, the one you had fallen in love with. The both of you had been through so much and for it to end like this. You never would have fathomed that you would be in this situation, yet here you were.
"I hate how you're always right." You let out a deep breath, blinking rapidly. Seungcheol wiped your tears away and you held his hand. He raised an eyebrow as if expecting you to say it. You rolled your eyes. “I love you too idiot.”
Once the words leave your mouth you feel like breaking down again. It just confirmed what was going to happen.
“You’re going to ruin that pretty face of yours if you cry again princess.”
“I-I’m not crying.”
“You’re not?” He let out a laugh. “Of course not, you’ve just got something in your eye.”
You nodded, sniffling some more. “Please tell me you're planning to escape. The door’s wide open.”
“I can’t risk you getting in trouble and I doubt your parents are happy you’re down here right now.” You couldn’t care less, the guy you love was about to die, you weren’t going to stay and act pretty for a bunch of obnoxious people. “Speaking of, you should probably go before anything bad happens.”
“I’m not leaving.” You stood your ground, folding your arms. The guards had no right to drag you out of here. Your parents might grow furious and your reputation would be tarnished but you didn’t care. Not anymore. You wouldn’t leave.
Seungcheol let go of your hand. “Listen to me Y/n. I’ll see you tomorrow and if I don’t just know that I would do anything in the world for you.” You heard the distant footsteps of someone approaching. He gives you one last smile. “Now go before something bad happens.”
Hesitantly, you give one last glance at the thief you loved in chains and shackles. He wasn’t crying but you could tell it was hurting him so much. You kissed him. His lips were still as soft as you remembered and he still smelt of the same soothing vanilla. Nothing seemed to matter and time seemed to stop.
You really hoped things would have turned out differently but it didn't. This was how the world worked, not everyone got their happy ending. The both of you part and you embraced him tightly.
“Maybe in another life we could be happy.”
“Maybe...” You buried your head into his chest, inhaling his scent. The footsteps started getting closer and you reluctantly pulled away. You bite your bottom lip, peering at the entrance to the dungeons. “I love you so much.”
“And I love you more.”
//
When you were seated on your throne, the public beneath you, you didn’t feel good. Seungcheol was on the floor, hand behind his back and a blindfold was tied around his eyes. There was nothing good about this. You felt like throwing up.
You didn’t remember much of the execution, your mind had blocked out the memories and your eyes had been shut for most of it. You only remember bursting into silent tears as soon as you got into your room. The shame was eating you up yet Seungcheol’s words stayed fresh in your head.
It was like your world had collapsed, the days after the execution you spoke not a word and didn’t eat or drink. It was only when the maids would insist you eat that you did. Your parents were too busy to notice a change in your behaviour and you couldn’t care less. The hole in your heart only grew bigger.
The diamond ring on your hand was the only thing that kept you connected with him. It made your heart hurt whenever you would think of the memories with him. The years you spent your life with him were your happiest and you knew you would never forget them.
As years went by the memories were still fresh in your mind as if they had all happened yesterday. Even though your father had married you off, you still kept the ring on your hand. You still remembered the cheeky boy who had broken into the palace many years ago and you remembered how you fell in love with him over time.
Over the years the pain subsided and you learnt to grasp at the happy moments. You found how to be happy again and you knew how he would never want you to live sad for your whole life. And as you grew older and had children of your own you finally felt the guilt wash away. The past had been eating you up and you had let it go, learning how to enjoy your life for him.
But you’ll never forget how much you loved Choi Seungcheol and how much he loved you back. And maybe in another life you both could be happy together.
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