#they pay for my tuition bc i rejected my offer into art school and chose pysch instead
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Spent so much time around my parents today wow i dont belong here i am not the ideal child at all
#i will never be my older sister#tbh i dont have it in me to be jealous anymore#i used to feel that way in highschool but now i just feel#hm. defeated?#like shes a nice person. shes a good person im glad shes not disappointing my parents#if she was like me then we would both make our parents so so sad#she balances things out is what im saying basically#this is why i feel like dying is okay. i might make my parents grieve briefly but theyll move on quickly#especially if they find out i was going to like. bring shame to the family#theyre not cruel people but they dont have room in their home or their hearts for someone who cant use the resources they provide#in the way they deem ideal#they pay for my tuition bc i rejected my offer into art school and chose pysch instead#they pay for my meds bc they want me to be a functioning member of society that can eventually get married to a man and give them grandkids#my life is not supposed to be in my own hands#hah. god im tired#z.post
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