#and when that teacher fell through I just. stopped trying.

[hrrtshape]

hi!! im a huge fan. i know you said you were in a yapping mood, and i was curious about the boarding school st. lazarus you made that you mentioned in ur better cr!

just wondering like, everything. what's the culture there, is there a uniform, stories of you && coryo ,, etc. the scoop if you will. thankyouthankyou!

ok so it's not a boarding school!!!!!!!! i know. day school. tragically. i go home. i live 40 minutes away if i'm walking which is crazy because if you look at nyc from a map you'd think that'd be like 5 minutes. i just go straight and then turn a corner and then straight. if it's raining i'll stand outside and text "someone bring me a helicopter" with full sincerity. anyway. my boyfriend drives me to school because he loves me very very very very very very very much i hope

somehow it's always longer than it should be. like it bends. like manhattan bends around this stupid school and steals five minutes from me every single day

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm so it's in carnegie hill which means everyone's parents have very loud opinions on rezoning and once a girl's dad tried to sue a bakery for serving him gluten when he emotionally believed it was gluten-free. anyway. the school. it's not a boarding school (tragic). it's a 30k per semester day school. thirty. thousand. per semester. i'm not embarrassed. but saying it feels like i'm daring god to smite me. or like. calling the irs to chat

the building is huge. horrifying. old in a way that's not romantic but structurally concerning. it looks like someone said "what if we did hogwarts but took out the whimsy and added asbestos." there are lions carved into the stonework and they glare down at you like you cheated on your latin test

pigeons sit on their heads and act like they own the place. they probably do. they've been here longer than the freshman

there's a plaque on the front gate that's written in a mix of latin and threatening serif. it says something about "truth" and "light" and "excellence through adversity" which feels aggressive when you're already late and holding a bagel with no napkin. the gates are black and heavy and creak when they open, which would be dramatic if it wasn't also deeply annoying when you're holding an iced coffee and a binder and your keycard fell in a drain ten minutes ago.

you walk in and there's a courtyard with a marble fountain that sounds like it's trying to win an oscar for sound design. like. you can hear it from the third floor english hallway if the windows are open. which they always are. because the school has money for koi ponds and augmented reality labs but refuses to invest in functional air circulation. priorities

sometimes people hang out by the fountain. usually to "study." they don't. they vape and talk about other people's siblings. sometimes there's a violinist. he's not employed by the school. he's just.......… around. someone said he used to teach here. someone else said he's a ghost. either way he plays vivaldi at 8:04am and no one stops him.

the inside of the building is just as dramatic. the staircases creak. the hallways echo. the floors are so shiny it's like walking on guilt. the ceilings have mouldings. the kind of mouldings that feel legally protected. and there's chandeliers. not one. not two. several. for no reason. i asked a teacher once why they were there and she just said "aesthetic legacy." ok. roger that

the library is two floors and has a spiral staircase and a librarian who once gave someone detention for dog-earing a penguin classics edition of ulysses. there's a rumour that she lives in the archive room. she denies it. but her mug says "my blood type is dewey decimal" so like. we know

every room has a plaque with a name. the balthazar science suite. the cohen humanities corridor. the bishop astor media centre. i don't know who these people are. probably donors. probably ghosts. probably both. my theory is that for every building donation, someone's spirit gets trapped inside the walls and has to haunt the photocopier until the next capital campaign

also the bell system is weird. it doesn't ring. it chimes. like a cursed nursery rhyme. three soft tones. a lullaby for overachievers. it plays at the start and end of every period and the tone literally says "this is a prestigious institution where we will kill you. gently." we all just stand up and move. no one questions it

the front office smells like printer ink and lavender and passive aggression. the admin staff have name tags and clipboards and a kind of cheerful menace. if you forget your id, they give you a visitor badge and a look. you know the one. the one that says "you are disappointing the ancestors"

we have vending machines that sell eel rolls. eel rolls. vending machine. eel. there's a recording studio next to the planetarium. a tea room on the mezzanine floor with like. napkin rings. a greenhouse on the roof. not metaphorically. physically.

there's a hallway that smells like lavender and another that smells like laser ink and the cafeteria has a sushi bar. the drama kids keep trying to rehearse in the speakeasy study room but no one has the spine to kick them out. there's a girl who takes off her shoes in the meditation room and everyone lets her because her dad's on the board. her feet smell

you get assigned an alumni mentor. you get a starbucks account. you get handed a schedule and it says "literature studies" and "fencing" and you go ok.

the uniforms are stiff. they're good-looking. it's like navy and light grey and sometimes white if it's a formal day. i love em. the blazers have embroidery. people have names on their tags. one guy in our year tried to make a "casual fridays" movement happen and it got shut down within twenty minutes. he's still mad about it.

i'm in the yearbook committee. and blackmailed my way into the school council. coryo's in model un and the school council and also is the captain of the basketball team. he runs all three. like of course he does wow it makes sense why the school's a bit of a dictatorship. he edits my essays. he pretends not to.

he sits behind me in world history and once threw a folded-up packet of xeroxed court documents at my head. we kissed in the art gallery stairwell after a student-led climate panel. someone definitely saw. no one said anything. he sends me stupid little messages like meet me in the greenhouse in five minutes or i will swallow soil

the school is… ,,,,,,,,,,.........i don't even know. it's not weird. it's not dark academia. it's not euphoria. it's just full. there's always something. the girl next to you is learning japanese for fun. the boy across from you is mad he didn't win the tech competition and now he's rebuilding his robot from scratch. people write tok essays like they're letters to the un.

you know that one vending machine in the library hallway that just. doesn't work. ever. but they won't replace it because someone's cousin is on the tech team and they say it's "being monitored?????????? yeah. that's the one that ate my money three times and gave coryo a vitamin water once that was probably somehow five years expired. we drank it. it was fine. we felt immortal for two days.

there's this girl in my history class who prints everything on cream-coloured paper. like not white. not off-white. full-on brutalist parisian memoir coloured paper. no one knows where she buys it. someone said her godfather works in publishing. i don't care. i just want to know how she gets her margins to align so cleanly

people keep acting like the greenhouse is some rare oasis of calm but it's genuinely so humid in there i get angry. physically angry. and the girl who runs the gardening club walks around misting things and won't let anyone open the window. "they'll dry out." ok. and i'll pass out. do you want me on the floor with a nosebleed or do you want your basil alive. choose

there's an unofficial rule that if you get caught crying in the staircase between the music wing and the robotics closet, someone has to give you gum. doesn't matter who. doesn't matter what kind. it's like a tax. last week it was coryo. he gave someone a whole pack of orbit and then made fun of them for liking debussy. it's a vicious cycle. i got annoyed. like. why are you giving someone gum??? asshole

the english teacher keeps trying to make fetch happen. and she never blinks. and she once told us she translated the iliad by hand for fun. anyway she terrifies me and i respect her more than most people in my life

every wednesday there's a girl who stands outside the student council office with a clipboard. she has braces and the power of god behind her. she's been "collecting names" for three years. we don't know what for. she never tells anyone. you just see her. and you sign. and you hope you're on the good list. like santa. but santa won't write an expose in forbes about you in 20 years. coriolanus has not signed and im scared he's gambling our future children and riches away !!!!!!!

they installed a water refill station that plays bird noises. no one asked for it. no one knows who requested it. but the noises change sometimes??? one day it was seagulls. one day it was tropical rainforest ambience. one day it made no noise and it felt wrong. everyone just stood there like…………. where's the bird

there's a rumour that if you're on the debate team you get a special locker near the server room and it has better wifi. this might be true. the debate team all carry portable chargers and look smug. one of them definitely stole my charger in september and said it was a necessary strategic acquisition.

the sushi bar in the cafeteria has a tip jar. it's not real. it's just there for atmosphere. someone once left a poem in it. someone else left a band-aid. i once saw lilyrose drop in a metrocard and walk away with no expression. when i asked him he just said it had 37 cents on it. ok.

also there's a corner of the art gallery where the lights flicker and the head of visual arts keeps saying "we're working on it" but it's been three years and it still flickers and it still smells like whiteboard cleaner and every time i stand there for too long i feel like i'm about to have a vision. which is fine. because that's where coryo kissed me. during climate week. while holding a binder. because romance is dead and i killed it with my bare hands

we have a school-wide wi-fi network that everyone hates but won't admit they use. it's called lazarussecure. the password is stlazarusnewyork btw. so cool. except it's not secure. it's slow. it breaks during lunch. there's this one girl in my english class who has her own hotspot and she's basically a god now

someone made a meme page for our year group and admin tried to take it down. didn't work. it got funnier

we once had an assembly where the guest speaker was an alum who started a skincare line. she talked about collagen for thirty straight minutes. someone fainted. it wasn't related. they just hadn't eaten. but it made the whole thing feel very dramatic and cultish

ohhhhhhh by the way we have such a cool conference hall like grah

ok so i need you all to remember that 90% of these people are rich and choose to be STUPID on purpose. like it's a decision. no one's asking them to act like this. no one's holding a gun to their head saying "pronounce rousseau like 'ra-soo.'" they just do it. they just wake up and think "hmm. what if i interpreted reality incorrectly today." and then they do. and everyone claps

there are cliques. obviously

the ones whose parents are on boards.

the ones who summer in places that don't have google street view

the ones who are secretly broke but act like they own equestrian land in monaco

the ones who actually do own equestrian land in monaco and won't shut up about it.

the kids with bodyguards.

the kids with cousins in congress.

the kids who think they're main character just because they went to harrow for a term and cried. THEYRE NOT THEY SUCKY SUCK

right. it's more like gravity. there's just groups and proximity and whoever got invited to blair's birthday brunch that one time. that's how it works. there's the girls who are on varsity dance and have initials for names. em. vee. jay. they eat protein bars in the hallway and their entire lives run on a tight rotation of toner, sleep-deprived charisma, and gym shark discount codes. they all have matching water bottles. no one knows who started it. they just do

there's the boys who wear the blazers wrong. never buttoned. sleeves slightly rumpled. perfect gelled hair but in a way that says i didn't try even though we all saw them adjusting it in the stainless steel reflection on the juice bar. they're the ones who take econ because they want to "go into finance" and then get a b+ and cry behind the server room. losers

you've never seen someone fall apart like a boy who realises he's mid at game theory

you've got the legacy kids who show up to ethics class late with a coffee the size of their head and say things like "oh i talked to my mom's assistant about that" in response to......anything. they don't even mean it in a bad way. they just don't know how conversations work. someone once said the sentence "my grandfather owns a minority stake in a war documentary distributor" in front of me and i still think about it at least once a week

then there's the student council-adjacent types. like me. like hi. sparkle sparkle. i'm glinda. i'm involved. i'm everywhere. i'm the one you ask if you want to know what movie to watch when you're sad but want to feel like a parisian orphan. i'm the one who shows up to the student council meeting with a dirty chai latte and three highlighters and sits next to coryo like i'm not also plotting to make the vending machines sell melon soda. we're not power-hungry. we're just very charming and very effective. ok

the artsy kids are a disaster in the best way. they take up half the cafeteria with their sketchbooks and chipped nail polish and i'm doing a piece on emotional scale. ok. what does that mean. do you need help. they always look cold. they always have a sharpie in their pocket. one of them has painted the same vase for two years straight and no one has the courage to ask why. someone said it's a metaphor. i think she just likes the shape

science olympiad is half future billionaires and half kids who peaked at nine. they do everything in groups of four. they walk in a diamond formation. they have inside jokes about like. cell cultures and arsenic poisoning. one of them made a powerpoint about the logistics of time travel and presented it unprompted during english media culture. i think he cried. no one said anything. we all just clapped once and moved on

the musical theatre kids……….. ok. well. i don't know what the drama kids are doing half the time. but they're actually not that bad. i know i KNOW but listen. they're too tired to be annoying this year. they're overworked. they're always running lines or painting sets or begging the tech team to stop turning off the lights during rehearsal. i was supervising their set production and actually....learned a lot of lines of hamlet. words, words, words. i caught one of them asleep under the piano in the recital hall and just left him there. he looked peaceful. like a corpse

the yearbook committee is a warzone. i'm on it. i've fought people over captions. we don't have time to pretend we're "the quirky creatives." we're too busy fighting the layout software and sending passive aggressive emails about photo quality.

the newspaper kids are worse. they think they're reporters. they call meetings. they act like they're about to uncover watergate and then write 600 words on why the vending machines reflect late-stage capitalism. YOU ARE NOT CARY GRANT IN HIS GIRL FRIDAY DO YOU HEAR ME

then there's the floater rich kids. they're the ones who are somehow in three clubs but no one's ever seen them attend a meeting. they get asked to be on every committee. they say maybe a lot. they're hot and loud and mostly run on charisma and la mer moisturiser. one of them once said i'd join model un but i don't want to fix anything. i kind of respect that

and finally you've got the weird in-betweeners who aren't really in anything but somehow have access to everything.

they know all the locker combos. they've sat in on meetings they weren't invited to. they walk around during third period with a school-issued ipad and the kind of confidence that suggests they're either a spy or someone's nephew. i don't know how they do it. they're not mean. they're not sweet. they're just… there. haunting the group chat. sending pdfs no one asked for. being ten minutes early to everything and still shocked when people don't know their name.

also there's a genre of boy here that i have no name for but you know him. he's on the basketball team but also takes latin. he carries a protein shake in a carabinered bottle and quotes catch-22 like it's a flex. he wears his backpack on one shoulder and says things like "the gatsby movie was better than the book actually" with conviction. he flirts horribly and when you call him out he says you're projecting. coryo has almost become one of them at least twice. i keep him humble to the bone

then there's the girls who are always leaving. they've been "moving to paris" for four semesters now. they walk into school in sunglasses and leave before fifth period and you ask "where are you going?" and they say "pilates." they're never in class but somehow always at events. they know what they're doing

there's a specific war happening between the ethics and morality class and the tech help desk. it's unspoken. they fight with eye contact. i don't know the origins but it has to do with a socratic seminar that devolved into a presentation about "data laundering in school-issued devices." one of the tech desk kids just kept saying "open source doesn't mean you're free." whatever that means. i don't know. i liked the poster !!!???!?!?

our student council president (also my boyfriend. hi. he's rich. (off screen squealing) keeps saying we should "streamline the student body." he won't explain what that means the fucking loser. he says it's metaphorical. he also said "i could run this place with four people and a fountain pen." which is terrifying. he might be right

there is a girl who keeps writing to admin demanding a rebrand of the cafeteria lunch trays. she said the beige plastic was "a violent affront to contemporary palettes." she started a change.org petition. she got sixty signatures. someone drew devil horns on it and left it taped to the aquarium.

she cried. then doubled down

the group chat for my english class has not been normal since the first month. someone keeps changing the name. someone else keeps adding random faculty. we live in fear. one time it was called "wednesday suicide pact (annotated)." the teacher never addressed it. she just posted a pdf of a sylvia plath essay and logged off. no one's heard from her since

the alumni mentor programme is a scam. they matched me with a woman who wrote for the cut in 2013 and now freelances about "narrative wellness." we had one zoom. she told me i had "old eyes." what does that mean. she sent me a playlist. i haven't opened it

there's a hallway in the second building where no one gets signal. we call it the dead zone. someone once said you can hear the school crying in there if you listen hard enough

i said it just smells like broken radiator and whatever perfume the year 10 girls are all copying from each other. no one laughed

the kids in architecture club are building a miniature model of the school for "posterity." they said it's about "documenting space under capitalism." i said ok. they said they needed hair samples for scale. i left

also there's a boy who wears sunglasses in the planetarium. every time. he says it's for light sensitivity. he is the same boy who threw up during theatre week because he ate an entire tin of espresso beans before curtain call.

he's now banned from the recital hall. but he still shows up. every single time. sunglasses on

ok also the starbucks. sorry. the ON-CAMPUS starbucks. yes we have one. yes it's open before first period. yes it has a staff punch card system. no we don't work there. we're just that powerful. it's inside the arts building which is probably illegal because the floor plan says "cultural annex" but it literally has a drinks fridge and one guy named aiden who always spells my name wrong on purpose. whatever

we have a dynamic.

i get the soy milk matcha latte. every. single. time. the girl who runs the milk rotation tried to shade me for it once and i just said "it's me and the latte against the world." and she nodded. we haven't spoken since. i don't care if it's overpriced.

i don't care if it's not "real matcha." it's green. it's sweet. it makes me feel invincible. sometimes i drink it too fast and shake in tok but that's between me and my spiralling metaphysical assumptions

we ball.

anyway. the starbucks also does this thing where they play weird music during first period. like not even lo-fi. i'm talking glitched out 2010s youtube ad-core. one time it was just a looped sample of someone whispering "capitalist hellscape" over nature sounds. someone must've made a complaint because now it's mostly jazz. except last week they played the national anthem on loop for forty minutes. no one said anything.

we were all too scared. especially me who's not an american but russian so i constantly feel like someone's about to grab me with a net and send me out to siberia. I WAS BORN IN PARIS NICOLE OKAY???? I DONT TALK TO BEARS . wow okay.

we have gourmet vending machines. i know i mentioned the eel rolls but did i tell you they also do tiny tiramisus???? @kerryshifts move in??? and soba bowls. and for some reason........... gluten-free pistachio biscotti?? which i'm like ok mum's influence is showing ig like............. she probably owns the supplier. leash, collar, bunny tail and all. they also once stocked blue cheese and no one took accountability for it. like it was just there. fermenting in public. rotting with confidence

like most of the boys in there who said that

the tea room has a reservation system. which is stupid. i hate it. i use it every week. it's on the mezzanine and it has actual place cards and a rotating menu and a girl named juliette who pronounces "camomile" like it's a threat. i go there between double english and model un. coryo always finds me. he never books. he just shows up and makes fun of how i hold my fork and drinks my tea even though he said he "doesn't trust infusions." he's dramatic. he's obsessed with me. it's so sickening oh if someone could save me

also there are three water fountains in the east building. one of them's normal. one of them is broken. one of them plays rainforest ambience when you press the button. this isn't a joke. it makes little chirping bird noises and everything. i don't know who coded it. i don't know who installed it. i asked the facilities guy once and he just said "it's on a loop." ok??? what kind of loop. what kind of bird. there's no plaque. i'm repeating myself.....wow ok im going insane

we have a zen garden. you're not allowed to touch it. someone did once and got a full write-up and a week of detention. she didn't even step on it. she just leaned in. there's a motion sensor. it went off. it beeped. admin got involved. someone said it was cultural. someone else said it was aesthetic.

anyway she cried and now we're all scared to walk past it during third period because it sees you

there's also the vending machine,,,, that one i mentioned but i also called the number on it and it just rang twice and went to voicemail. i left a message saying i wanted to book a limousine to the debate semi-finals. no one ever got back to me. but the next week there was a limousine parked outside the music wing and no one claimed it

the cafeteria sushi bar has mood lighting. like genuine dimmer-switch lighting. you can't see the rolls. you just have to guess. i once picked up something i thought was avocado and it was straight-up wasabi. i cried. serena laughed so hard he fell off the stool. the chef bowed. i said thank you. i hoped she'd die. we moved on

also. and this is real. someone tried to start a student-run speakeasy in the library archive room and it lasted three days before being shut down. they had menus. someone brought in a milk frother. there was a password system. "punctuation." i'm not joking. they used "punctuation" as the password. you had to whisper it through the shelf. i respect the vision. poor execution.

so we also have this cursed little hallway. it connects the language immersion wing to the tech help desk. no one walks it voluntarily. it's freezing. always. like hospital-corridor-during-a-power-outage cold. one time someone's hair clip shattered from the air pressure. another time the lights flickered and a girl dropped her smoothie and screamed. i walk it daily. because my locker's there

also did i tell you about the aquarium in the biology room???

it's huge

it's got its own little corner and a name plaque and everything. except the name plaque says "donated in memory of horace." no one knows who horace is

no one's ever said anything about horace. the fish are fine. one of them's missing an eye. the marine bio teacher insists it's natural. it isn't

there's also this thing where every year during winter, some senior decides they're gonna "host a salon." no one ever defines what that means. it's just them in the tea room, talking about being misunderstood while quoting philosophers wrong and eating strawberries like they're in a renaissance painting. last year someone brought a harp. the tea room staff revolted. it was beautiful

the printer on the third floor humanities wing is haunted. this is not up for debate. it prints blank pages. it jams even when empty. it once printed someone's private google doc notes from 2017. unprompted. they were about twilight and political theory. the girl cried. the printer blinked. nothing else happened. it remains operational. admin won't replace it. they said "it builds character." ok. have i mentioned this? i feel like im going insane

you know that thing where a school has "morning announcements"????? yeah. ours are pre-recorded on fridays. by this one guy in year 12 with the smoothest voice on earth and an ego the size of the upper gym. he once said "congratulations to the fencing team on their moderate success" and got suspended for two days. he came back and called us "listeners." someone needs to stop him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the school's instagram page is managed by someone in admin who clearly wants to go viral. like every post is captioned like a divorcee's pinterest board. "excellence in bloom 🌸" and "dream. believe. dissect." please. we're dissecting frogs. be serious.

one time they posted a photo of me in debate club and tagged the wrong name

coryo got in trouble last month for making a school-wide google calendar event titled "the downfall of democracy." it was actually just the student council elections. but still. people freaked. one girl wrote a whole speech about freedom of speech and the sanctity of digital infrastructure. he didn't even campaign. he still won. i'm going to scream. i love my man so much

there's a set of twin boys in year 10 who only speak in riddles and run the audio booth for assemblies. they carry a clipboard. no one's ever seen what's on it. they nod at you like you've passed a test. one time they offered me a sticker and said "you've been deemed stable." i was not. but i took it

also. once a month, the school sends out a newsletter called the lazarus ledger. it is. deranged. it includes things like "student of the fortnight" and "fungus updates." one time there was a pie chart showing "classroom window status" and 67% were labelled "cracked but alive." what does that mean. why are we tracking this. who is behind the data. why are we funding this.

we have a girl who runs a podcast. it's called elevate your mind. she records it from the wellness centre and talks about breathwork and magnesium and her "unique journey with burnout." she got suspended last semester for plagiarising an episode from andrew huberman

she came back with crystals and a vengeance. i don't trust her

the vending machine next to the music hallway once gave me three kit kats. no explanation. no refund. i didn't report it. it felt too personal. like a message

[5-htagonist]

i love art, im very grateful for adderall for gifting me with the executive function, ease of prioritization, and clearness of thought <3

[vunblr]

The Weight of Choices

Pairing: Ex-husband!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: 18+ only. Smut. Unprotected sex, dirty talk. A little angst.

Summary: Torn between his instinct to protect his family and his desire to be a part of their lives, Bucky tries to deal with the reality of his ex-wife going on a date while he stays home caring for their son.

Word Count: 8.8k.

Revised.

He was late. If she didn’t know better, she’d think he was doing it on purpose. Bucky had agreed to watch their son tonight so she could go on a date, the third one since their divorce two years ago. The last couple of times, she’d managed to find a friend to babysit, but Saturday nights were always tough. So in the end, she had no choice but to come clean and ask Bucky.

She could still hear his voice from that awkward phone call, still feel his surprised tone when she’d told him she had plans.

“A date?” he repeated, the edge of disbelief was hard to miss.

"Yeah," she’d replied casually, but Bucky’s silence stretched longer than usual. He hated texting, so phone calls had become their norm, even for the smallest of things.

“With whom?” His attempt to sound nonchalant fell flat, the tension was evident, threading through every word.

“Chris,” she said, keeping her tone light, “You know, the music teacher at the kindergarten where I work? Blonde, easy smile... we walked past him once when he was out with his dog, Dodger.”

Bucky scoffed, and the bitterness in his voice was unmistakable. “I knew it. I knew he had a thing for you.”

She rolled her eyes, exasperated. “Oh, please.”

“Every time I’d drop by the kindergarten, he’d just- his eyes followed you the whole time like he couldn’t look away. People don’t stare like that unless they’re thinking about something. And the way he’d smile, he was trying too hard to be just a ‘friendly co-worker.” His voice had dropped a notch, as his irritation kept creeping in.

“Are you serious?” she shot back, incredulous. But Bucky wasn’t done.

“How long’s this been going on?” The question came out more like an accusation.

“It’s our first date. You know I only recently started dating again,” she replied, patience wearing thin.

He paused, clearly unsatisfied. “So what, he’s just been waiting for his chance, ready to pounce-”

“I’m going to stop you right there, James,” she interrupted firmly. “You’re not entitled to know anything about my love life the moment you decided you wanted the divorce.”

There was an uncomfortable silence on the line. She could hear him breathing, and the tension stretched between them until finally, he sighed.

“You’re right,” he admitted. “I’m sorry, that was out of line. I’ll take care of Benjamin on Saturday night.”

The recall of the conversation was interrupted by Ben, who wanted to show her what he did with his Legos.

Bucky had been sitting in front of the house for half an hour now. Sometimes, like tonight, he regretted what he’d done, but deep down, he knew it had been necessary. After the terrifying incident when Hydra agents attempted to kidnap their son, hoping to test if any of the serum’s powers had been passed down genetically, he realized that his past would eventually catch up with them. He had to make sure they were safe, even if it meant tearing apart everything they’d built.

He knew she wouldn’t understand if he told her the truth. If he had laid out his fears and his guilt and spiraled into a self-deprecating parade like he always did, she would have fought him and convinced him to stay. So he waited.

He knew the only way to make her believe it was to weave in just enough truth to his argument, so slowly he began pulling away, setting the stage for what would be his ultimate break. Late nights, distant conversations, an almost non-existent sexual life, and missed moments with their son, all led to this. He needed her to see that the life they had wasn’t something he could carry anymore.

When the moment came, he didn’t hesitate. He told her he felt suffocated by their life together. That the roles of husband and father were more than he could bear after everything he had been through. She didn’t believe him at first, and he could see the determination in her eyes, the will to fight for what they had.

So, he played the card he knew would make her stop fighting him. He spoke of the years he’d spent as a puppet, how he had never truly known freedom, never had control over his life. He appreciated everything she had done for him, all the love and support she had given, but it wasn’t enough. He needed air, space to figure out who he was beyond the roles he had been forced into. He made it sound like staying with her, staying in the family they’d built, was just another form of captivity.

It crushed her. Bucky could see the moment her resistance faded. She believed him, not because she wanted to, but because he made it seem so real. So she stood there, heartbroken, but unable to argue against the logic he’d presented.

The first months after the divorce were hard on both parts. For her, that time was the hardest, filled with sleepless nights and the nagging feeling that Bucky had simply abandoned her, walked away from their life, their love, without a second thought. She wrestled with the confusion and the heartbreak, trying to piece together where things had gone wrong. For Bucky, it was a different kind of suffering. He bore the weight of his decision in silence, knowing he had walked away to protect them, but that didn’t ease the sting of loneliness or the guilt that clawed at him almost every day.

Their lives moved on separately. They saw each other only in passing, and even that was rare. Bucky would pick up Benjamin directly from daycare once a week, dropping him off the next morning before heading back to his life, careful to avoid lingering long enough for awkward conversations. Sometimes he didn’t make it at all, missing his time with his son when missions pulled him away. Immersing himself in his work was easier than facing what he had left behind, the family he still wanted but couldn’t allow himself to have. Meanwhile, she did her best to create some normalcy for Benjamin, even as the space Bucky left behind echoed through their small home.

Even though their lives had drifted apart, Bucky never truly let go. He kept his distance, but never far enough to lose sight of them. Unbeknownst to her, he knew everything that went on in the household, the daily rhythms of their life, the way she struggled and adapted to her new normal without him. From the shadows, Bucky lurked unnoticed in the neighborhood, always keeping an eye on them. She never noticed, never had a clue that even when he was away on missions, he somehow knew when Benjamin caught a cold or when she had a rough day at work.

It was a secret vigil that gave him a twisted sense of comfort, knowing they were safe even if they no longer shared the same home. He would catch fleeting glimpses of her tucking their son into bed or hear his faint laughter playing in the yard. It was enough to remind him of what he’d lost, but not enough to bring him back to the life he believed he couldn’t have.

That was why Bucky was caught off guard when she mentioned her date with that guy, the music teacher. He never saw that coming. He had always known the man had a soft spot for her, could see it in the way he acted whenever she was around, how he lingered a little longer during pick-ups at the kindergarten, helping to manage the children even if it wasn’t his job, always with an excuse to retain her and talk. His body language was an open book. But back then, Bucky had dismissed him as harmless, barely giving him a second thought. To him, Chris had always been like a friendly Labrador: approachable, with no bite. A non-threat.

But now, that harmless Labrador had grown fangs. The guy wasn’t just hanging around the edges anymore; he was stepping in, taking her to dinner, moving into a space Bucky had once occupied. And he had no choice but to suck it up and watch it happen, watch her walk out the door with him. He could handle the distance, the brief moments of tension when they had to interact, but this? The idea of Chris sitting across from her at a candlelit table, making her laugh, holding her gaze... it twisted his guts.

And God knows what else would happen after dinner. Would Chris try to kiss her goodnight? Would she let him? Or worse, would they end up back at his place? His mind ran wild with the possibility of them taking things further, crossing a line he never wanted to imagine. Would she let him touch her in ways Bucky used to, let him see sides of her only he had known? He knew he had no right to feel this way, but it didn’t stop the thoughts from torturing him.

Eventually, he glanced at the clock and sighed, raking a hand through his hair. There was no point in torturing himself any further, he couldn’t postpone the inevitable any longer.

Reaching the front porch, Bucky hesitated for a moment. He straightened his posture, adjusting his clothes, then knocked on the door. As he waited, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, trying to shake off the tension.

When the door finally swung open, for a split second, neither of them spoke. Her eyes widened just a little, and her lips parted as she took him in. It had been a long time since she’d seen him. His hair had grown back to shoulder length, a few strands falling loose across his forehead. A three-day stubble sharpened his jawline in a way that made him look rugged and effortlessly handsome. And was he wearing that shirt? The red and black lumberjack one that used to drive her wild?

Bucky caught her reaction and hit him like a shot of adrenaline. When he exited the bathroom that night and picked what to wear, he told himself it was just practical attire, something comfortable to wear while watching and playing with Ben. The cologne? Just a habit. But deep down, a part of him knew the truth: he wanted her to notice, and that split-second when her eyes widened, scanning him from head to toe, told him everything. She noticed. She definitely noticed. And something about that felt like a victory, even though he wasn’t supposed to be playing that game anymore.

He stared at her longer than necessary, his blue gaze drifting over the black dress she wore. New, he realized. It hugged her body in all the right places, accentuating her curves in a way that was impossible to ignore. The hemline? Too short for his liking. He clenched his jaw slightly, knowing full well Chris would be thrilled to see her like this.

Forcing himself to snap out of it, Bucky cleared his throat and broke the silence. “Hey,” he said, low and calm, though the tension still swirled beneath the surface. “You look... good.” He meant it, but the words tasted bitter.

"Thanks," she said, politely but distantly, deliberately choosing not to compliment him back. She lingered for a moment, then added, “You’re late.”

Bucky flinched inwardly at the remark, though he kept his expression neutral. "Traffic," he muttered, stepping inside as she moved aside to let him in. An awkward silence stretched between them, the air thick with things left unsaid.

Her fingers toyed with the edge of her dress as she cleared her throat, trying to fill the silence. “Ben is in the bathroom,” she said casually, but there was a tension beneath it. “You can wait for him in the living room.”

“Right,” Bucky replied, nodding stiffly. He walked past her and into the living room, and the space felt both familiar and foreign at the same time. He took a seat, trying to shake off the strange energy between them, but his mind kept wandering back to the fact that she was dressed for someone else.

A moment later, the doorbell rang, and she turned toward the sound, visibly relieved. She opened the door, and Bucky heard Chris’s voice, a cheerful greeting that she surely responded to with a soft, warm smile. He didn’t need to see it, her tone was different with him, softer, more open.

“Hey,” Chris said with a bright tone, though there was a subtle shift when he paused. There was a beat of silence before he added, “You look amazing.”

Bucky couldn’t help it. Something pulled him from the couch, and before he knew it, he was standing in the hall, watching the interaction from a few feet away. His eyes narrowed as he observed Chris, sizing him up instinctively. Chris was taller than he remembered, clean-cut in a casual but neat button-down shirt, his charming smile faltering just a fraction when his eyes darted past her, catching sight of Bucky standing there.

Chris’s brows furrowed, but he quickly masked his reaction, giving Bucky a curt nod. “Uh, hey,” he greeted awkwardly, glancing between them.

It was her turn to narrow her eyes. Glancing back over her shoulder, she saw him. Bucky stood at the edge of the hallway, staring directly at Chris with an unreadable expression. His eyes locked onto the man without blinking. He wasn’t moving, wasn’t saying anything, just staring.

Inwardly, she rolled her eyes. Really? A display of male dominance, here and now? After everything he’d put her through, the mess he’d made of their lives, he suddenly decided he had the right to act territorial? What exactly did he think he was entitled to? The nerve of it sent a wave of irritation through her body, hardening her grip on her coat.

But what frustrated her even more -what really troubled her- was that a part of her didn’t mind. Beneath her annoyance, something stirred, deep and undeniable. She hated to admit it, even to herself, but his presence still had a hold on her. Maybe it didn’t bother her as much as she wanted to believe. Maybe, despite everything, there was still a part of her that reacted to him, to the way he watched her, the way he used to make her feel like the center of his world.

Before those feelings could rise any further, before she could let herself dwell on what they meant, she quickly turned back to Chris. She forced a bright smile, pushing away the conflicted thoughts swirling in her mind.

“We should get going,” she said, pretending not to notice the tension still hanging in the air. She stepped closer to Chris, signaling it was time to leave, hoping to put some distance between her and the weight of Bucky’s gaze.

As the door clicked shut behind them, Bucky stood frozen in place for a moment, still tense, even with their absence. The quiet of the house felt heavier now, oppressive. His chest clenched as he stared at the closed door, half-expecting her to walk back in. Of course, she didn’t.

His hands closed into fists at his sides as he replayed the scene in his head: her standing there, beautiful and confident, and Chris… that guy was so normal, so easygoing. Exactly what she deserved. Exactly what Bucky could never be. He raked a hand through his hair, frustrated. What was he even doing? He had no right, he was the one who walked away. He was the one who made her believe she wasn’t enough to keep him, that he wanted out. And now, here he was, silently raging because she was moving on, exactly like he supposedly wanted.

Stupid. That was the only word he could come up with to describe how he felt. Stupid for showing up looking the way he did, stupid for thinking that maybe he could still affect her. But what for? His job was to protect her and their son from the shadows, not to stand in the doorway, playing the part of some jealous lover. But God, it hurt more than he expected.

He crossed the living room with heavy steps and slumped into the couch. The house was eerily quiet, save for the faint sound of the TV in the background. Ben was still in the bathroom, probably playing with the liquid soap and making a mess, unaware of the tangled web of emotions his father was caught in.

The hours slipped by, though Bucky barely noticed at first. Benjamin was beyond excited to have his dad all to himself for the evening. They played, joked, and built elaborate lego fortresses, the boy’s laughter filling the house with a warmth Bucky hadn’t realized he missed so much. For a little while, he was able to shove everything else to the back of his mind. Being a dad, just a dad, felt like a relief. But every now and then, his gaze would drift to the clock on the wall. He couldn’t help it. As much as he tried to stay in the moment with his son, there was a constant pull, a nagging thought of where she was.

After he’d put Ben to bed, Bucky’s mind wandered back to the date. Her image in that black dress haunted him, the way Chris had looked at her, the possibility of what might have happened after dinner. His thoughts spiraled, even though he knew it was none of his business anymore. He poured himself a scotch, the amber liquid swirling in his glass as he tried -and failed- to push the thoughts aside.

Eventually, the sound of the front door opening cut through the silence. The familiar click of her shoes against the entryway tile echoed through the house, sharp and distinct. She was home.

Bucky didn’t move. He stayed where he was, seated at the old teakwood table, nursing his scotch. The only light on in the house was the dim glow above the kitchen, so she’d find him.

The sound of her footsteps grew closer, and he listened intently, his heart beating just a little faster despite his best efforts to keep calm.

She entered the kitchen, her steps sounding a little less steady than usual, mumbling a soft “Hi” as she made her way inside. Bucky glanced up, immediately sensing that she was a little tipsy. She didn’t meet his eyes, just plopped down in the chair next to him with a tired sigh. “God, my feet are killing me,” she muttered, kicking off her heels and wincing.

For a while, the silence stretched between them, broken only by the distant sound of the fridge. She sighed absentmindedly, then reached for his glass of scotch, taking a sip without asking. He was taken aback by the casual intimacy of the gesture, but he said nothing, just watched her as she leaned back in her chair.

Before he could stop himself, the words slipped out. “Want me to rub your feet?” He froze. He couldn’t believe he’d said it, half-expecting her to snap at him or give him one of her sharp retorts.

But instead, she surprised him. She looked over at him, her eyes tired but soft, and then shrugged. “Yeah...” she said, a little more relaxed than he expected.

Bucky blinked, caught off guard by her response. His heart thudded against his ribcage as he moved toward her, kneeling down in front of her chair. His fingers hovered hesitantly over her ankle before wrapping gently around it, lifting her foot onto his knee.

As he began to knead his thumbs into her sore muscles, the tension that had been brewing in him all night seemed to ease, just a little. Her head lolled back against the chair, a soft sigh escaping her lips.

He couldn’t believe he was doing this, touching her again in this way, after everything. He shouldn’t, but she didn’t seem to mind. If anything, she seemed to relax more as the seconds passed, letting her guard down in a way that felt dangerously familiar.

“So... how was the date?” Bucky’s voice was quiet, almost too casual as he broke the silence.

Her eyes fluttered open at the question, and for a moment, he thought she might brush him off or remind him that it wasn’t his business. But instead, she gave a small shrug, her tone indifferent. “It was fine.”

Bucky frowned slightly, pressing his thumbs a little harder into the arch of her foot. He wasn’t sure if it was frustration or something else pushing his hands. “Fine?” he echoed, trying to keep his voice even.

“Yeah,” she murmured, closing her eyes. Her voice was soft, almost distracted. “Just... fine.”

He wasn’t satisfied with that. He couldn’t help himself, he pressed, his tone still light but with a thread of tension beneath it. “Only... fine?”

She sighed, her eyes still closed as if trying to keep the conversation from getting deeper. “What do you want me to say, Bucky?” Her voice wasn’t sharp, but there was a subtle edge in her words. “That it was amazing? That he swept me off my feet? Some dirty little details?”

His fingers stilled for a moment, resting against her foot as he met her gaze. He didn’t respond right away, unsure if he even wanted to hear the truth, whatever it might be. “I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice a little more vulnerable than he intended.

“It was just fine, nothing more, nothing less”

Silence stretched between them again, but he wasn’t ready to let it drop. “Are you going to see each other again outside work?” he ventured, slowly moving his hands up her shin, hesitantly but growing bolder. The fact that she didn’t push him away emboldened him further. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

His hands continued their slow ascent, brushing his fingers over her calf and then her knee, firm but careful. When she didn’t pull away, he felt his pulse quicken. The silence stretched between them, thick with the weight of things left unsaid.

“In a way,” she finally answered, her voice was elusive, a little distant. She shifted slightly in her chair, subtly parting her thighs as his hands wandered higher. The movement was small, but enough for him to catch it. His breath hitched, and his gaze flicked down to her legs before rising back up to her face, darkening with lust.

"Care to... elaborate?" he pressed again, his voice lower now, rougher. His fingers slid up to her inner thigh, stopping there with a possessive grip as if testing her reaction. Her legs instinctively spread wider beneath his touch, and that simple motion sent a rush of heat through his body.

She shifted slightly, as if searching for the right words. "He’s... nice," she finally said, a bit breathless under his touch. "He’s thoughtful, considerate, makes me laugh…” Her lips twitched in a small smile, but it quickly faded as she looked down at his hand resting on her thigh. “He’s... good.”

Bucky’s thumb paused, pressing a little harder, as he leaned in closer, his voice barely above a murmur. “…And?”

She sighed, opening her eyes again to meet his intense gaze. “And… he’s not you.”

His grip on her thigh tightened involuntarily. He’d pushed her away, done everything he could to sever the ties between them, convinced himself it was for her protection. But now, hearing her admit that, it sent his head spinning.

He’s not you.

The room seemed smaller, the air heavier, as the tension between them crackled like electricity. His hand inched higher, dangerously close to where he could feel the heat radiating off her body. Every instinct in him screamed to close the distance, to take what he wanted, to forget everything that had led them to this point. But he forced himself to stop, locking his gaze onto hers, searching her face for any sign that she would tell him to stop.

She didn’t. Instead, she held his gaze, breathing shallow as if waiting to see what he would do next.

Bucky’s grip closed again. Fuck it. He leaned forward, pressing his face against her other inner thigh, grazing her skin with his stubble as he inhaled her scent deeply. She tensed, feeling him nip gently at her sensitive flesh, and then a slow, deliberate lick followed, sending a shiver through her body.

"Did he behave, or..." he paused, teasing the same spot with his tongue before he looked up at her, brushing her thigh with his lips as he continued, "...things got handsy?"

A gasp escaped her lips when she felt his mouth so dangerously close to where she wanted it most. Her head tilted back just slightly, her body betraying her as desire pooled lower in her belly. His eyes flicked up, meeting hers, their blue depths darkened with lust, and something more. His lips remained pressed against her skin, refusing to budge until he had his answer.

"You let him touch you?" His voice was a husky whisper, laced with jealousy.

She exhaled slowly, her breath was shaky as the memory flickered through her mind. "Yes," she admitted, reluctantly. "But just briefly, when we ki-"

Before she could finish, Bucky’s hand shifted, moving up to cup her mound, pressing his fingers firmly against the damp fabric of her underwear. Her words died in her throat, and a sharp intake of breath replaced them as his touch ignited a fire that spread through her veins. His hand was deliberate and unapologetic in the way it claimed her, the heel of his palm pressing against her pussy as if he had every right to be there.

"And then?" His question hung in the air, but she couldn’t find the words immediately.

Her lips parted as she finally spoke, barely above a whisper. "I wanted to feel something... but I didn’t. I just didn’t."

Bucky’s hand remained where it was, but his thumb stroked over the wet fabric, teasing her, testing her resolve as his gaze bore into hers. She had said what he needed to hear, what he craved to know, and now, there was no turning back.

His thumb slid the fabric of her underwear aside, and his fingers didn’t hesitate as they slipped between her folds, finding her slick with need. He brushed upward, just barely grazing her clit, watching with dark, heavy-lidded eyes as she gasped at the contact. Her body arched involuntarily, but he didn’t relent, keeping his movements slow and deliberate, teasing her just enough to drive her crazy but not enough to give her what she craved.

“And…” he murmured, rasping against the tension rising between them, “how long did it take you to realize you’d had enough? That it wasn’t going to work?”

His thumb circled lazily, making her hips shift forward, chasing the friction he barely offered. The question hung in the air, laced with his possessiveness through every word. He didn’t wait for an answer, delving his fingers deeper inside her, coating themselves in her arousal before they moving back up, brushing over her clit again, this time with more pressure.

"One kiss?" His lips curled in a half-smirk as he watched her face contort with pleasure. He dipped his fingers inside her again, slowly, dragging them out just as leisurely. "Two?"

She trembled, unable to form a coherent response, the sensation of his touch overwhelmed her senses after so long. Her breath hitched as his fingers increased their pace, every stroke purposeful, designed to unravel her. Bucky leaned upward, brushing the shell of her ear as he murmured, “How long, doll?” The way he said it, like a dare, made her heart race even faster.

Her head fell back, and her body betrayed any attempt at control as she whispered breathlessly, “One…”

A satisfied groan escaped his throat, and his fingers rewarded her honesty with a firmer stroke, sending her spiraling closer to the edge.

It wasn’t fair. He had cast her aside, almost without looking back, tearing her world apart with his cold departure. And now here she was, grinding her pussy against his fingers like some desperate, needy whore, begging for more. A part of her wanted to slap him, to shove him away and scream at him for every sleepless night she spent wondering why she wasn’t enough, why he had thrown their life away so easily. She wanted to tell him how much she hated him for walking out on them.

But then, there was that traitorous side of her. The part that had never stopped hoping. The part that had always waited held out some foolish, silent hope that he’d come back. That she’d see that flicker of warmth in his eyes again, the one that told her she was his entire world. And it wasn’t just her heart that longed for him, her body had missed him, too. She hated herself for it. For still thinking about him late at night when she touched herself, slipping her fingers between her thighs as his name slipped from her lips in the darkness.

And that same traitorous side of her had ruined her date with Chris. She’d tried to be present, to laugh, to be charmed by his warm smile and thoughtful gestures. But all night, all she could think about was Bucky.

The way he’d looked at him, cold and assessing, as if he didn’t belong there, his presence filling the hallway like he still had some claim to it, to her. What was he trying to prove, anyway? That he still was the man of the house?

She hated how, even while Chris was talking, her mind drifted back to Bucky’s fingers tracing his stupid shirt, his stupid long locks, his stupid cologne, the one he used when they went out on little dates. And she knew, even if she couldn’t admit it aloud, that some part of her had wanted him to see her dressed up, to feel in some small way the longing and ache she’d carried in his absence.

And maybe that’s why she’d felt nothing when Chris had leaned in for a kiss, why his gentle smile and soft touches had felt hollow. Even his laugh, light and kind, didn’t make her feel anything because it wasn't Bucky’s rough, rumbling chuckle or his stupidly confident grin. Bucky, in all his infuriating ways, still occupied every corner of her mind.

Her breath came in shallow gasps, and her chest rose and fell rapidly as his fingers worked her closer to the edge. She wanted to be angry, to let that rage consume her, but every time she opened her mouth to say something hurtful, to lash out at him, her body betrayed her. Every roll of her hips against his hand, every needy whimper that slipped from her throat, reminded her of just how much she had missed this.

It wasn’t fair. But she couldn’t stop.

With a light pinch on her swollen clit, the tension snapped, and she came hard on his fingers. Her mouth fell open with a moan as her body convulsed, riding the wave of pleasure pulsing through her body. The world blurred around her as her climax took over her body, grinding her hips against his hand, chasing every last second of the release.

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, with a mix of overwhelming pleasure and the emotional storm swirling inside her. A few finally escaped, rolling silently down her cheeks, but before she could turn away, Bucky was there, brushing his lips on her skin to wipe them away with surprising tenderness. His breath ghosted over her cheeks as he whispered soft, comforting words she could barely make out, something about how beautiful she was, how good she had been for him, as if they hadn’t been tangled up in all this pain and heartache.

His touch was almost reverent as he slowly withdrew his fingers, slick and glistening. Their gazes met, and he didn’t break eye contact as he brought those same fingers to his mouth, licking them clean with deliberate, agonizing slowness. He stood up in one fluid motion, lifting her effortlessly from the chair by the waist as if she weighed nothing, and in a swift, controlled movement, he placed her on top of the table, standing between her legs.

Before she could even process it, his arms were around her, pulling her into a bear hug that was both tight and needy. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and inhaled deeply against her skin.

He held her as if letting go was not an option, firmly yet strangely vulnerable. The way he clung to her body felt like both a claim and an apology, urgent -almost broken- like he was holding onto her not just physically, but emotionally, too.

“Tell me you don’t want this, and I’ll leave,” he murmured against her skin, his voice rough and low, against her neck. He didn’t dare to look at her, not yet, because if he did, if he saw doubt or rejection in her eyes, it would break him.

The silence stretched between them, thick and heavy. Each second felt like an eternity. His breath was uneven and ragged as he waited for her to say anything. Another moment passed, tension swirled in his chest until he couldn’t stand it anymore. He lifted his head, searching her gaze, bracing himself for the worst. But instead of the words that would send him away, he saw her eyes flicker downward to his lips. It was brief, a split-second decision, but it was enough.

So he leaned in, cautiously at first, like he was testing the waters after years of distance. His lips brushed softly against hers, almost hesitantly, as if afraid this fragile moment would break apart. But the second she responded, it was like a dam broke. His hands cradled her face, deepening the kiss with desperation. It was messy and all-consuming. There was no gentleness, no tenderness. This was not the careful, delicate dance of two people testing the waters. This was hunger, a need to reclaim what had been lost. His lips moved down to her jaw, her neck, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses on her skin, and she moaned softly, threading her fingers in his hair as he sucked on the sensitive spot below her ear.

His hands gripped her waist, strong and possessive, pulling her closer until her body was flush against his. The need to feel her body, to claim her, was overwhelming. It was like two years of silence, longing, and frustration had ignited in an instant, and everything that had been pushed down now surged forward, unstoppable.

“I’ll ask you again, babydoll. Are you sure you want this?” Bucky’s voice was thick with restraint, the tension in his muscles barely contained as he loomed over her, his breath hot against her neck. He was giving her one last chance to stop this, to pull away, even though every fiber of his body was screaming for her. But instead of words, her answer was a quiet, deliberate motion. Her hand slid between them, deftly unbuttoning his jeans, brushing her fingers against the outline of his erection.

A low hiss escaped his lips, and his hand shot down to catch her wrist, halting her movements. His gaze met hers, dark and intense, his chest heaving with barely restrained desire. “I need you to say it,” he murmured, on the edge of control.

“Yes,” she murmured.

That was all he needed.

Without hesitation, he pulled his shirt over his head in one motion, not bothering with the buttons, his muscles flexing as the fabric slid off. The moment his skin was free, he didn’t give himself time to think. His eyes locked on hers as he grabbed the neckline of her dress. With a sharp tug, the fabric tore easily under his grip, and the sound of it ripping filled the air. The dress fell to her waist, exposing her bare breasts to his gaze.

“Hey! It was brand new, you know?” she protested.

“I noticed,” he replied, grazing his fingers on the tattered edge of her dress. “But you didn’t buy it to wear it for me, did you?” His voice dropped, thick with jealousy as he alluded to her date with Chris. He dipped his head, and his lips hovered just above her exposed skin. “I don’t want it on you”. He latched his lips onto her nipple, swirling his tongue with a hungry need, while his vibranium fingers pinched and teased her other breast. His breath was hot against her chest as he whispered between kisses, “You have no idea how much I’ve missed this... missed you.” His words came out rough, full of longing that he couldn’t hold back any longer. “Every night... thinking about touching you again. Tasting you. Making you come over my cock.”

Her body responded, arching into him. She bit her lip, trying to stifle a moan, afraid that maybe Ben could hear her, but it slipped out anyway.

His hands moved to her thighs, gripping them firmly as he let out a low groan. “I thought about this, over and over... how you’d feel under me, how you’d sound when I made you scream my name again.” His voice was thick, hoarse, as he tugged at her dress, tearing the fabric completely until it was nothing but rags on the floor. He didn’t stop there, slipping his thumbs under the waistband of her flimsy panties. With a swift tug, the seams gave way, tearing effortlessly in his hands. He brought the soaked cloth to his nose, inhaling deeply, groaning as if the scent alone was enough to drive him insane. “God, I’ve missed this,” he muttered, his eyes never leaving hers. He flicked his tongue against the ruined cloth, savoring the taste with a low, hungry growl.

Without warning, he tossed the panties aside. His hands moved quickly, unbuttoning what remained of his jeans and kicking off his shoes before sliding the denim and underwear down in one fluid motion. They hit the floor with a soft thud as he stepped toward her. “Tell me how much you missed me,” he demanded softly.

She stared at him, drinking him in. He looked leaner, his body sculpted in sharp lines of muscle. He’d lost weight, surely by going on mission after mission, mixed with his poor eating habits. He was never good at taking care of himself. She almost missed the small paunch he used to have these last years, the one he hated, but she’d loved to bite. There was something comforting about that softness, but now he was the embodiment of raw strength.

Her gaze drifted lower, lingering on the sight of his cock, standing at full attention. She swallowed. Apparently, her memories failed to measure up to reality. He was big, sure, she’d always known that, but this big? Her pussy tightened with need, clenching in raw anticipation.

"I missed you,” she breathed, her voice barely a whisper, laced with longing as her eyes lifted to meet his. “So much… you have no idea. God, you’ve ruined me.”

Her words shattered whatever restraint he had left. He’d imagined, countless times, that if this moment ever came, he’d take his time, savor her, and make it last. But now, faced with her body beneath him, so close and so ready, patience was a luxury he no longer possessed.

Without a second thought, he gripped her thighs and spread her wide on the table, lining himself up as he dragged the head of his cock along her entrance, coating himself in her slick heat. In a swift, desperate thrust, he drove into her, hard and deep, filling her completely as a ragged groan escaped his lips.

She cried out, her body responding immediately, arching into him as he slammed into her again. His hands gripped her hips with bruising force, and his own moved in a relentless rhythm, every thrust driving him deeper inside her. He couldn’t stop. Her moans spurred him on, her words circling in his head like a drug.

“Ruined you, huh?” His breath was ragged as he pulled almost all the way out, teasing her with the loss, before slamming back in. “Let me remind you how much.” With a raw hunger that had been bottled up far too long, Bucky's thrusts became brutal, each one driving her back along the table, her nails scraping against the wood as he took her over and over. The grip on her hips was iron-hard, pinning her down so she could do nothing but take everything he gave her. He leaned in close, his breath hot against her ear. “Think anyone else could ever do this?” he murmured, his voice dark and rough, each word punctuated by a powerful thrust. His lips ghosted along her jaw, and he pushed her to answer, knowing the effect he was having on her. “Tell me,” he demanded softly, “Could anyone else make you feel like this?” He wanted her to say it, to make her admit that no one else would ever satisfy her the way he could.

She whimpered, clutching at his shoulders as he pounded into her, her nails digging into his skin as he pushed her higher and higher. “No… no one else.” Her words were broken, barely audible over her moans, but it was all he needed to hear.

“That’s right” he murmured against her lips, his voice low and rough, “No one else gets to touch you like this,” he breathed, each word laced with raw possessiveness as he thrust deeper. “Only me,” he rasped. “Only I get to make you feel this way.”

He groaned, and his left hand left her hip to slide between them, pressing down on her clit in quick, merciless circles. “This is mine,” he hissed, metal fingers working just enough to bring her close before pulling away, only to return just as she thought she couldn’t take any more.

She cried out, her body writhing beneath him as he drove her to the edge. His pace never faltered, his hips grinding against hers with a relentless rhythm, and his grip on her body only hardened as she arched off the table, spilling his name from her lips like a prayer.

"Say it," he demanded, his voice thick with lust and something darker. His hands slid down the back of her thighs, pushing her legs up against her torso as he plunged deeper, and she could barely breathe every time he bottomed out. The way he hit her, the pressure at her cervix, sent shockwaves of pleasure-pain coursing through her body, each one making her mewl helplessly. Her thighs shook against his chest, her hands desperately clutching at his forearms, fingers digging into his skin.

He leaned in closer again, his face inches from hers, his lips brushing her ears as he growled, “Say it, Doll. Tell me you’re mine.”

"I’m yours… fuck, Bucky!" she complied, her voice breaking between her panting breaths.

"Again," he ordered, slamming his hips into hers, as the table creaked under the force of his movements. He could feel her walls clenching around him, so tight, so wet, he almost lost control then and there.

“I’m yours,” she whimpered again, her voice shaky, breathless.

“Chris will be so disappointed to hear that,” he growled. “Let’s make sure you stay ruined, just in case.” He was relentless now, fucking her hard, deep, his body pressing hers further into the table as he pushed her thighs harder against her body giving him even better access, hitting that sensitive spot that left her gasping, his grip and the relentless pace leaving no room for anything but the sensation of him filling her over and over.

She whimpered in response, too overwhelmed to speak, her entire body tensing as the pleasure became almost unbearable. His thumb moved between them again,  rubbing circles that sent sparks of heat shooting through her body. She gasped, squeezing her eyes shut as her orgasm built rapidly.

“Milk my cock, sugar,” he ordered harshly, primal. His words pushed her over the edge, and then she was gone, her body shivering violently as she clenched around him, tightening her thighs around him as her hands fisted in his hair, pulling him closer. The sound of his name fell from her lips, half-whisper, half-cry as the climax gripped her, intense and all-consuming, leaving her a trembling, breathless mess.

“I’m gonna fill you up,” he growled through gritted teeth, his hips snapping into hers with bruising force. “And then some more,” he rasped, his voice thick with raw need. “You won’t even be able to keep it all in, babydoll.”

With a final thrust, Bucky’s head fell back, a deep groan rumbling from his chest as he reached his climax. His body trembled, and his muscles tensed as he spilled inside her, a heated wave of release that filled her completely. He held her there, as his cock kept pulsing until his release overflowed, warm and thick, beginning to trickle down, pooling beneath them.

Still buried inside her, Bucky loosened his grip on her thighs, sliding down his hands to cradle her waist as he leaned forward, gently resting his forehead against her shoulder. He nuzzled into the curve of her neck, breathing in her scent, calming himself as the heat of what they did slowly ebbed, replaced by a quiet neither of them seemed prepared for.

After a moment, he gently eased himself away, untangling their bodies but letting his hands linger at her hips, as though afraid to lose the connection. He took a step back, dropping his gaze for a moment before lifting to meet hers, hoping she’d break the silence, but she didn’t look at him, her teeth worrying her bottom lip.

Bucky’s chest clenched, a familiar pang surfacing in him as he watched her withdraw inward, her mind going elsewhere despite what they’d just shared. Finally, she spoke, her voice low, tentative. “So… what now, Bucky?”

He took a deep breath, searching for the right words. “I don’t- I didn’t plan for this to happen,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper as he forced himself to hold her gaze. “I know I shouldn’t have done this. Not after…” He hesitated, but the truth slipped out anyway. “Not after what I put you through.”

Her eyes narrowed, and suspicion clouded her expression, old wounds resurfacing. “Then why did you put me through this, Bucky?” she asked, her voice soft but laced with pain. “You said you couldn’t do this. That you needed space, that we were holding you back.” Her words floated between them, each one a quiet accusation tinged with vulnerability. “And now, you’re here, acting like…” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “…acting like you never left.”

He hesitated, knowing this was his chance to finally tell her the truth or let her keep believing the lie he’d used to protect them. He rubbed a hand over his face, then lowered it, meeting her gaze with raw honesty. “I didn’t leave because I didn’t want you,” he murmured, his voice trembling. “I left because I was afraid that my past... everything I tried to bury might come back to hurt you. Hurt him.” His voice softened. “I thought if you believed I didn’t want this life, it would keep you safe.”

He glanced down, his hand twitching at his side, before he looked up again. "But… I want to come back,” he admitted, the words raw, like they’d been buried deep for too long. “To the house. To you, and Benjamin.”

She wrapped her arms around herself, flicking her gaze over their scattered clothes still strewn across the kitchen floor. She looked away, tensing as she rubbed her temples. "So, what’s changed, Bucky? The risks are still there, the same threats, the same fears..."

Bucky’s gaze didn’t waver; his hand reached out as though to touch her, but he stopped short, brushing his fingers over the edge of the table instead. "What’s different is me. I’ve had time to face what I couldn’t before. Stepping aside didn’t keep you safer; it just kept me away. I don’t want Ben growing up with a dad who keeps him and his mom at arm’s length. Almost a stranger.” His voice softened. “Being apart from you doesn’t make things better. I miss you, doll. I miss us.”

“You can’t just leave and come back like nothing happened, Bucky.” Her voice was softer this time, almost breaking. “I wanted you here… every day, every night. Not just for me, but for Benjamin.”

He took a step closer, hovering his hand near hers, unsure if she’d pull away. “I know, and I hate that I ever thought leaving was the answer.” His tone was low, his gaze fixed on her.

She looked down. “If you come back, I need to know you’re here to stay,” she murmured, the words more for herself than for him. “Because I don’t think I can go through this again… and I won’t let him either.” Her voice cracked on the last word as her hands gripped the table harder.

Those words shattered the last remnants of his restraint. Without another thought, Bucky dropped to his knees in front of her, the hard tile digging into his flesh as he pressed his forehead against her thigh. She sucked in a breath, instinctively moving her hand toward his hair, and her fingers trembled as they brushed against it. He could feel her hesitation, the walls she’d built so carefully to guard herself from the ache he’d left behind.

“Say yes,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “Say yes, doll. I know I don’t deserve it.” His hands gripped her hips as if she were the only thing keeping him steady. “But I swear,” His voice cracked, raw and pleading. “I swear, I’ll never walk away again. Not from you, not from Benjamin.”

She looked down, a mix of shock and pain written on her face as she saw him there, broken, open, begging her for something she’d once offered so freely. Her hand gently settled on his cheek, and he leaned into the warmth of her touch, feeling the softness of her fingers against the rough stubble of his jaw. The ache in her eyes nearly undid him, but he stayed there, with his forehead still pressed to her thigh, his breath heavy, waiting.

Her eyes searched his, and slowly, her resolve began to waver, the smallest flicker of trust finding its way back into her gaze. "Then prove it," she murmured, barely trusting herself as her hand lingered against his cheek. "Show me you’re here to stay."

After her words hung in the air, a fragile silence fell between them, and Bucky’s gaze dropped. He swallowed, and his hand reached for something inside the scattered clothes on the floor.

From his back pocket, he drew out a small, well-worn leather charm, a little star-shaped pendant, its edges smoothened from years of handling. She recognized it immediately. It was something she’d passed on to him when he left for his first mission after they married, a symbol she hoped would keep him safe. She thought it had been lost long ago, like so many pieces of them.

He held it out to her, and the look on his face was raw, vulnerable in a way she hadn’t seen since the early days. “I never stopped carrying this,” he murmured, his voice rough and thick. “Even when I tried to convince myself I was doing the right thing by staying away. I couldn’t let go of you…of us. I kept it close, hoping… hoping someday I could come back and give it back to you. I know it doesn’t make up for the time I lost, but…” His voice faltered.

She stared at the pendant, her hand shaking slightly as she reached out, grazing the familiar leather. All the memories it held, the late-night goodbyes, the whispered promises, the hope she’d once tied to it, all of it rushed back, filling the space between them.

She looked down at him, seeing in his eyes the weight of the years, the regrets, but also the glimmer of the man she’d fallen in love with.

Taking a shaky breath, she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “This… this was supposed to keep you safe, Bucky. Keep us safe.”

“And it did,” he replied softly, covering her hand over the charm with his. “It kept you here.” He paused, his voice barely a murmur. “And maybe now… it can bring me back home.”

The last of her defenses wavered, and she felt herself letting go of the anger, the hurt, all the pieces that had kept them apart. “Maybe… maybe it was always meant to guide you back here,” she said softly, meeting his eyes with a warmth he hadn’t seen in years. “So if you’re really here to stay… then welcome home, Bucky.”

Dividers by: @strangergraphics

[dovesdreaming]

Breaking point

Summary: Mattheo gets into too many fights and reader has enough and calls off their relationship. However she is still the only person that can get through to him.

Masterlist

Warnings: none

-

The tension in the Slytherin common room had been growing for weeks. Whispers about Mattheo Riddle’s temper and the fights he kept getting into were spreading through Hogwarts like wildfire. You had always been the one to pull him back from the edge, the calming voice that stopped him mid-fight with just a touch or a few soft words. But lately, Mattheo had been slipping further and further away from you, consumed by anger he couldn’t control, and no matter what you did, it was as if your voice no longer reached him.

It was a late Friday evening when you found yourself yet again pulling Mattheo away from a confrontation with some Gryffindor seventh year. You could see the rage in his eyes, his fists clenched, ready to throw a punch that would surely land him another detention or worse. “Mattheo, please” you said, stepping between him and the other boy. You placed a hand on his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart. “He’s not worth it. Just let it go”. Mattheo’s jaw tightened, and for a moment, you thought he might listen. But then, with a harsh shove, he pushed past you, shouting insults as he launched himself at his opponent. The scene that followed was a blur of yells, fists, and teachers trying to pull them apart.

As you watched him get dragged away by Professor Snape, something inside you snapped. You had been his anchor for so long, always there to soothe his stormy temper, but he wouldn’t even listen to you anymore. You couldn’t keep doing this, being the only one holding on when he was so intent on self-destruction.

That night in the doorway of your dorm room you let it all out. He had come back after whatever had happened seeking your forgiveness like usual but you couldn’t let him back in this time. He was not only destroying himself, he was taking you with him. It had taken a toll on you and you couldn’t carry on like this.

“I can’t do this anymore, Mattheo!” you whisper yelled, your voice breaking as tears threatened to spill. Mattheo’s face fell, his bravado crumbling. “Y/N, don’t-“ “No, Mattheo! I’ve tried. I’ve tried so hard to calm you down, to be there for you, but you don’t even care. You don’t care about me, about us!” Your voice cracked, and you hated how vulnerable you sounded. “I love you, but I can’t keep watching you hurt yourself. I can’t keep being the only one trying”.

The whole building seemed to go painfully quiet. Mattheo looked at you with wide, desperate eyes, his anger replaced with a deep, crushing sorrow. “Y/N, please-“ But you couldn’t bear it anymore. Shaking your head, you turned and closed your door, leaving him standing there alone.

The days that followed were miserable. Mattheo barely left his room, and when he did, he was a shadow of the boy you knew, pale, quiet, and heartbreakingly empty. Draco, Blaise, and Pansy tried to get through to him, but Mattheo’s door remained locked, and his mood only worsened. You weren’t much better, you threw yourself into your studies, trying to forget the hurt in Mattheo’s eyes when you walked away. But every corner of Hogwarts seemed to hold a memory of him, his laughter echoing in the dungeons, the way he’d pull you close in the common room, whispering secrets only you were meant to hear.

“You have to talk to him” Pansy said one afternoon, catching you in the library. Her voice was uncharacteristically gentle, eyes flickering with genuine concern. “He’s a mess without you. He’s not eating or taking care of himself” Pansy knew it was wrong to ask this of you but there was no one else that would be able to get through to Mattheo. You felt a pang in your chest, your anger giving way to concern. You hadn’t seen Mattheo in nearly a week, and the thought of him alone, suffering in silence, broke your heart. You hesitated, your pride battling against the concern gnawing at your heart. “Pansy, I-“. “He won’t listen to any of us. Not even Draco” she interrupted. “But he’ll listen to you. You’re the only one who can reach him”.

Taking a deep breath, you finally nodded, feeling the weight of what you were about to do. You made your way to the Slytherin boys’ dormitory, knocking softly on Mattheo’s door. There was no answer, just the faint sound of something shuffling inside. You tried again, louder this time. “Mattheo, it’s me”.

Silence stretched on, and just when you thought he wouldn’t respond and were about to turn to walk away, the door creaked open. He looked disheveled, his hair messier than usual, eyes red and swollen. He glanced at you, then away, shame and sadness evident in every line of his face. “What do you want?” His voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper. You forced yourself through the crack in the door and stepped inside, closing the door gently behind you. “I just… I wanted to see you. Make sure you’re okay”. You looked at the ground not really knowing how to go about this. He scoffed, but it lacked any real bite. “Do I look okay?”. You sighed, crossing the room to sit beside him on the edge of his bed. “Mattheo, I didn’t break up with you because I stopped caring. I broke up with you because you were hurting yourself. And it was hurting me, too”.

His gaze finally met yours, and the vulnerability there made your chest tighten. “I’m sorry” he mumbled, voice breaking. “I just, everything feels wrong without you. I know I messed up”. You reached out, taking his hand in yours. “I’m not asking you to be perfect, Matty. I just need you to try. I need you to promise me that you’ll stop fighting. You don’t have to be angry all the time. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone”. For a long moment, he said nothing, just held your hand like it was the only thing keeping him afloat. Finally, he nodded, squeezing your hand tighter. “I promise. No more fighting. I don’t want to lose you, I can’t lose you” Tears welled up in your eyes, and you pulled him into a tight embrace. He buried his face in your shoulder, letting out a shuddering breath as if he’d been holding it in for far too long. You stayed like that for a while, wrapped up in each other, the weight of the past few weeks slowly lifting. “Thank you” he whispered, pulling back just enough to press a soft kiss to your forehead. “For not giving up on me”. You smiled, brushing a stray curl away from his face. “I’ll always be here, Mattheo. Just… no more fights, okay?”. He chuckled, the sound light and genuine, the first hint of the old Mattheo breaking through. “No more fights. I’ve got something better to fight for now”. You knew there was a lot of learning to do but you had faith that Mattheo could work on himself. And as he pulled you closer, you knew that whatever happened next, you’d face it together.

-

Thank you for reading! Please send requests for him!! Also tempted to make a longer version of this with a lot more angst??

[rainydayathogwarts]

Off limits pt.2 - Remus Lupin

summary: remus can’t help but liking the one person who’s off limits, but it seems like they him too. black!reader -part 1 \\ part 3 wc: 1.3k+

It was becoming harder for Remus to ignore his feelings for you, especially after that dream. He started thinking of you cuddled next to him, on his lap, on his dick, in your pyjamas, in less than your pyjamas. Remus felt disoriented the entire way through the day, remnants of the dream still pounding in his head. He didn’t think he could believe a single thing that would happen throughout the day. And even worse, Sirius held some sort of animosity towards him ever since he’d witnessed your interaction at the Three Broomsticks. This officially turned into Remus’s worst nightmare.

Remus felt as though he spent the entire day trying to convince Sirius that there was nothing going on between you. In other words, he spent the day lying to both himself and his best friend. At lunch in the Great Hall, Sirius sat out of the conversation, instead training his eyes on you from across the hall. Sirius saw as your eyes moved towards his general direction, but since you didn’t return the glare he was giving you, he became confused. That was until he realised that you weren’t staring at him, but the boy beside him. Remus chatted along with James as he ate, a smile gracing his features, clueless to the way you stared at him with admiration.

Sirius glanced back and forth between you and Remus, furrowing his eyebrows as you propped your chin up on your hand, sighing dreamily. What the fuck? Thought Sirius. Narcissa stood up next to you, slinging her bag over her shoulder and you quickly followed, tearing your eyes away from the chestnut-haired boy. From across the vast hall, Remus’s eyes were caught by your sudden movement, dozing out of his conversation to watch you leave to your next lesson.

Sirius huffed, crossing his arms as Remus said his goodbyes, claiming Slughorn wouldn’t be happy if he were late to class. Sirius scoffed; he’d had Slughorn as a teacher for long enough to know that he was one of the most lenient professors in entire the castle. Remus trotted through the hallways, hoping to catch you before class started. He slowed his step down just as he rounded the corner to the Potions hallway, but his face fell when he found Narcissa waiting in front of the closed classroom alone.

Remus tried not to look too disappointed, attempting a nonchalant expression as he ran a hand through his hair. When he made eye contact with Narcissa, he froze, eyes going wide. Your cousin had her arms crossed over her chest, a smirk on her face. The knowing look on her face scared Remus, and when she cocked an eyebrow up at him in question, he feared he would be spilling all his secrets to her. “I-” Remus shut his mouth, turning away from the intimidating blonde to find you rushing down the hallway, a nervous smile on your face.

“Hey.” Remus nervously greeted, both hands gripping the strap of his book bag. “Hi.” You responded, but before you could bring the conversation any further, Slughorn opened the door to his classroom, ushering you all in. With one last look to a terrifying Narcissa Black, Remus slid into the classroom. Similarly to the day before, it didn’t take long for you to become bored of Slughorn’s slow drawl, but at least today you were brewing a potion in pairs.

Remus turned to find Frank on the opposite side of the room, who he usually paired up with, but he was stopped by a hand placed atop his. He turned towards you, mouth agape. “Pairs?” You asked, looking deeply into his eyes with a sweet smile on your face. Remus sputtered, looking past you towards Narcissa, who was already speaking to Severus, seemingly unfazed by your decision. Remus turned his attention back to you, nodding eagerly. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d love to.”

But there was one problem to this: Remus had forgotten about his dream and how it would affect his interactions with you. “I’ll go get these ingredients.” You announced, disappearing into the ingredient cupboard. It was only when you walked out, carrying jars of ingredients in your hands that Remus’s mind flashed back to the dream he had. Of you, walking towards him as though he was your prey, before you demanded him to kiss you. Remus shook the thought away, rushing towards you to help with the ingredients you carried. You both worked quickly and efficiently, with the exception of Remus zoning out when your fingers grazed, or you smiling too sweetly at him whilst you waited for Professor Slughorn to come examine your potion.

“Are you doing anything this afternoon?” You asked Remus, who shrugged his shoulders, a pink hue unfolding onto his cheeks. “Any surprise appearances to Hogsmeade?” You laughed at the humiliated look on Remus’s face, who began stuttering in an attempt to explain himself. You giggled, cocking your head to the side. “It’s okay Remus, it was a nice surprise. It cleared out any doubts I had about your feelings towards me.” Remus’s face went impossibly redder, and just as he opened his mouth to respond, Professor Slughorn made his appearance. You had to suppress the roll of your eyes and the annoyed scowl, instead smiling respectfully at the old man.

Every time you attempted starting the conversation up again, Slughorn either interrupted you by finishing up his lesson, or people were too close for comfort. You sighed disappointedly, waiting awkwardly for Slughorn to dismiss the class before jumping up excitedly. You and Remus waited until the rest of the students cleared the crowd, emptying the hallways out until you finally walked out together. “So… What did you mean by your doubts about my feelings towards you?” Remus finally spoke up, coming to a halt outside the classroom. He had spent the entire rest of the lesson thinking of your words which echoed in his brain like an ear worm.

Turning to face Remus, you mustered up the most confident tone possible. “Well I like you, and it’s good to know that you like me back.” Remus’s quiet gasp made hope flutter in your chest, but your confident stance was breaking down with every second he stayed silent. Remus opened and closed his mouth in uncertainty before finally landing on “You like me back?” You grinned widely at the reassurance of the boy’s feelings towards you, and you rolled your eyes jokingly, muttering “Yeah, don’t beat yourself up over it.” Remus laughed happily, watching as you rocked back and forth on your feet. You glanced down at your feet, hesitantly clutching the strap of your bag. “Well-” But Remus’s hands on your cheeks were quick to silence you, pulling your gaze back on his face. He stared at you for a moment, as though mentally debating something before finally leaning down to peck your lips quickly.

You smiled widely when Remus pulled away, your hands travelling upwards to grip the bottom of his jumper. “Well, you sure have plans for this afternoon now.” You said, watching as Remus’s eyes shone with a happy gleam.

“Yeah?” “Yeah.” “I’ll find you after class then.” “Okay.”

But your happy little exchange was short lived, for when you turned around to make your way to your next class, you met Sirius’s angry stare, glued to you from the other side of the hallway. From Remus’s quiet “Oh no.” behind you, you knew that you weren’t the only one in trouble. You cleared your throat, spinning on the balls of your feet to quickly begin making your way to class. Loud footsteps followed you, and you groaned, immediately knowing that you were in for a scolding. A scolding that would probably cause you to skip your next class.

taglist: @treefairy-28 @screechingovercaffeinatedgumball @therealmsmisery @ilovejamespottersomuch @plk-18 @lxdystxrdustt @ravisinghs-wife @moonyswifee @jimeniita

[ka1rin]

Tension

Sae Itoshi x Reader , wc: 3.1k , genre: smut

MDNI! contains & themes: hate sex, enemies to lovers, p in v, teasing

It was a well known fact at your school that you and Sae Itoshi absolutely hated each other. No one could pinpoint exactly when it started, but the mutual disdain had been there for years.

Maybe it was the way Sae thought the world revolved around football, completely ignoring everything else. School events? Group projects? Cleaning duties? Sae was always absent, choosing to spend his time practicing or playing matches. It infuriated you how he'd get away with it, just because he was the star player.

Meanwhile, you were the complete opposite. You threw yourself into every school event and project, often leading committees and organizing programs. So every time Sae's name would pop up on a list and he wouldn't show, you'd end up picking up the slack. And oh, you let him know about it.

"You could at least pretend to care about something other than football," you snapped at him once after an event where you ended up staying late because he didn't show up to help.

He didn't even glance up from his phone. "Not my problem."

That nonchalant attitude of his made your blood boil. Meanwhile, Sae hated you for entirely different reasons. In his eyes, you were nothing more than an annoying perfectionist who constantly nagged him. Every time you got in his face about responsibilities or schoolwork, it only reinforced his belief that you were too uptight, too controlling.

"You should stop trying so hard," he told you once, his tone flat and bored. "It's pathetic."

The animosity between the two of you was so obvious that even the teachers knew better than to pair you up for anything. But fate, or your English teacher had other plans.

The sun blazed through the classroom windows as your teacher's voice echoed in the room. You were already annoyed, scribbling notes while Sae sat at the back of the class, leaning back in his chair, looking half-asleep.

"Sae Itoshi, see me after class," the teacher said sharply, snapping her fingers to get his attention.

You smirked, glancing over your shoulder. For once, it looked like karma was catching up with him.

When the bell rang, you were packing up your things when your teacher called your name. "(Y/N), stay for a moment, too."

You froze, narrowing your eyes. Whatever this was, you already didn't like it.

Sae stood in front of the teacher's desk, his arms crossed, his usual stoic expression firmly in place. You joined them reluctantly, your annoyance bubbling at the thought of having to deal with him for even another second.

"Alright, Sae," the teacher began, folding her arms. "Your grades in English are unacceptable. If you fail another test, you'll be ineligible for the football tournament."

You suppressed a laugh, but the smirk on your face was hard to hide. Sae's expression, though subtle, faltered for just a second.

"And you, (Y/N)," the teacher continued, turning to you. "Since English is your strongest subject, I'm assigning you as Sae's tutor."

"What?" you and Sae said in unison.

"This is ridiculous," Sae muttered, his voice cold.

"And I don't have time to babysit him," you added, crossing your arms.

The teacher raised an eyebrow, unimpressed by either of your protests. "You'll make time. This is non-negotiable. I expect you two to work together every afternoon until Sae's grades improve. That's final."

The classroom fell silent as your teacher walked out, leaving you and Sae behind with an awkward air of tension. You sat on one end of the desk, arms crossed, glaring at him. He, of course, looked completely unbothered, as if this was all a waste of his precious time.

"Okay," you began sharply, "we'll meet at the library tomorrow after class. Be there by 4 PM, and don't be late."

Sae raised an eyebrow, his tone as flat as ever. "The library? No thanks."

You scowled. "What do you mean, 'no thanks'? That's where people study."

He shrugged. "Too many people. It's noisy, and I don't want anyone seeing me being babysat."

Your irritation flared instantly. "Babysat? This is tutoring, not babysitting. And maybe if you actually cared about school, we wouldn't even have to do this!"

Sae ignored your outburst, pulling his phone out of his pocket lazily. "Let's just do it at my place. It'll be quiet, and I can focus better."

Your eyes narrowed. "Your place? Are you kidding me?"

He met your glare with a bored look, like you were the one being unreasonable. "What's the problem? You scared or something?"

That last comment struck a nerve. "Scared? Of you? Not in a million years."

"Good," he said with a faint smirk. "My place. 6 PM. Don't be late."

Before you could argue further, he turned and walked off, leaving you fuming in your seat.

By 6 PM, you stood outside Sae's house, clutching your bag and muttering complaints under your breath. This was not how you envisioned spending your evening. When the door finally opened, there he was, leaning casually against the frame in his hoodie and sweatpants.

"Took you long enough," he said.

"You said 6 PM. It's 6 PM," you snapped, brushing past him as you stepped inside.

His house was annoyingly perfect, modern, clean, and minimalistic. It looked like a magazine photo shoot, which only irritated you more.

"Nice place," you muttered sarcastically, dropping your bag on the coffee table.

Sae ignored your tone, sitting on the couch and grabbing a pen. "Let's just start."

You sat across from him, pulling out your notes. "Alright, let's review your grammar mistakes from the test. Here's what you got wrong—"

"Do we really have to go over every single one?" he interrupted, leaning back.

"Yes, because you clearly don't understand the basics," you shot back, already losing patience. "You can't just skim through this stuff and expect to pass."

"And you can't just lecture me like I'm some clueless idiot," he replied, his voice calm but sharp.

"Well, if the shoe fits," you said, unable to stop yourself.

He sat up straighter, his eyes narrowing. "You know, you're really annoying."

"Funny, because you're really disappointing," you snapped. "Do you even care about anything other than football? Do you even realize how much everyone else has to pick up the slack because you can't be bothered to show up or help?"

Sae's jaw clenched, and for the first time, you saw something like anger flash in his usually calm eyes. "I didn't ask for anyone to pick up my slack. I didn't ask for your help, either. If you hate this so much, then why are you even here?"

"Because I was forced to help you!" you yelled, standing up and glaring down at him.

He stood up too, towering over you slightly. "You think I wanted this? You think I need you to save me? If I wanted to, I could pass this class on my own."

"Oh, please," you scoffed. "If you could pass on your own, we wouldn't even be here right now. Just admit it—you're all talk, no action."

Sae's expression hardened, his voice dropping to a quiet, almost dangerous tone. "And you're so obsessed with being in control that you can't handle it when things don't go your way."

His words hit like a slap, and you opened your mouth to retort, but before you could, he continued, his voice softening in a way that threw you off completely.

"You're exhausting," he muttered, his gaze flicking to yours briefly before dropping. "But... I guess I don't hate it when you're around."

You froze, your heart skipping a beat. "What did you just say?"

Sae's eyes widened slightly, and for the first time, he looked genuinely flustered. "Nothing. Forget it," he said quickly, turning away and sitting back down. "Let's just finish this."

Your mind raced, and you sat down slowly, unsure of what to make of what just happened. The tension in the room was suffocating, but neither of you dared to say anything about it.

The session had spiraled into chaos—or at least, that's what it felt like. Sae had been working through his workbook, and you had been mindlessly scrolling on your phone. That's when you stumbled upon the clip of his last game, where he'd scored the winning goal. Of course, the caption sang his praises: "Sae Itoshi: MVP, the genius striker!"

You rolled your eyes, scoffing as you double-tapped the post.

"What's so funny now?" Sae's voice was sharp, cutting through the quiet like a knife.

You looked up at him, irritated by his tone. "Nothing. Just people hyping you up again like you're some kind of god or something."

His expression darkened. "Let me see."

"Why do you even care?" you shot back, standing up and walking over to him. "Here. It's just this post. Chill out." You leaned over, holding the phone toward him.

But he didn't look at the screen. Instead, his sharp eyes locked onto yours. "You're always like this," he said, his voice low but laced with irritation. "Always in my face, always acting like you know everything."

"Maybe if you weren't so hopeless, I wouldn't have to!" you snapped, standing up straighter.

"And maybe if you weren't so annoying, I wouldn't ignore you half the time," he fired back, standing up as well, towering over you now.

The tension in the room was unbearable, the air thick with unspoken words. You didn't back down, stepping closer. "You think ignoring everything makes you better than everyone else, don't you?"

"Maybe it does," he said, his tone sharp. "Better than someone who can't stop running her mouth."

You glared at him, your heart racing as your faces were now just inches apart. "God, you're so—"

Before you could finish, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you forward, his other hand gripping your jaw as his lips crashed into yours. It was messy, desperate, and caught you completely off guard.

For a moment, your mind blanked. All the anger, the frustration, the years of clashing with him—they all melted away as his lips moved against yours, firm and unyielding. His hand slid from your wrist to your waist, pulling you closer.

You froze for a second, shocked, but then something inside you snapped. Without thinking, you kissed him back, your hands clutching the front of his shirt as you pushed against him with just as much intensity.

The chair behind him scraped the floor as he backed up, pulling you with him. His hands tightened on your waist, guiding you closer, until your body was flush against his. The kiss deepened, his lips parting slightly as his tongue brushed against yours, stealing the air from your lungs.

Your hands slid up to his shoulders, gripping tightly as if you needed something to ground yourself. The kiss was heated, every ounce of pent-up frustration pouring into it. You didn't care about the argument anymore, didn't care about why you hated him or why this was happening, you just didn't want it to stop.

He pulled back just enough to catch his breath, his forehead resting against yours, his breathing uneven. His eyes were half lidded, the usual coldness in them replaced by something much more intense.

"You're infuriating," he muttered, his voice rough and breathless.

"Right back at you," you shot back, your voice just as unsteady. But instead of pulling away, you leaned in again, pressing your lips to his once more.

This time, it was slower but just as fiery, his hands exploring your sides as yours tangled in his hair. The heat between you was overwhelming, and you couldn't bring yourself to care about how far things had escalated.

When you finally pulled apart, both of you were breathless, your lips swollen from the intensity. The room was silent except for the sound of your heavy breathing.

"...So," you said after a long pause, trying to catch your breath, "was that supposed to shut me up?"

His lips curved into a small smirk. "It worked, didn't it?"

You rolled your eyes but couldn't fight the small smile tugging at your lips.

The air was thick with tension, the heat between you and Sae undeniable after the kiss you'd shared. But it wasn't over. Neither of you could quite look away, as if the intensity between you was drawing you in further.

You took a step back, still a little rattled, but your body didn't quite follow the command of your mind. The silence hung in the air until Sae broke it, his voice a low growl.

"Fuck this studying," he muttered suddenly, pushing the workbook aside.

"What?!" you sputtered, staring at him, incredulous. "We were supposed to—"

Before you could finish your sentence, he yanked you toward him. "Shut up," he commanded, his grip firm as he pulled you down onto his lap. You gasped in surprise, your heart pounding as his hand pressed firmly against your back to keep you in place.

Your breath caught in your throat as you found yourself perched on his lap, your face dangerously close to his. The heat between your bodies was undeniable, your pulse hammering in your ears.

"Sae! What the hell?" you snapped, trying to push him away, but his hands quickly cupped your face, holding you still.

"I'm done pretending," he muttered, before his lips descended on your neck, kissing you with unexpected urgency. Your body froze as you felt the warmth of his mouth against your skin.

"Stop, Sae!" you gasped, but his lips didn't stop moving, trailing down your neck, and you felt yourself give in to the sensation, your heartbeat accelerating. His hands slid around your waist, pulling you closer, and all at once, you felt like you were drowning in the tension.

Then, before you even realized what he was doing, he pressed a quick peck to your lips—teasing, fleeting, as if to remind you of how easily he could break your resolve.

"Now we're talking," Sae whispered, his voice low and gravelly as he looked at you, his eyes darkened with something more intense than annoyance.

You were still trying to catch your breath, heart racing, as his smirk only grew. "What the hell is wrong with you?" you muttered, your voice barely above a whisper.

He chuckled, his fingers gently caressing your jaw. "I could ask you the same thing." His smirk softened, and before you could react, his lips were on yours again, this time without hesitation.

You kissed him back, the intensity of it surprising you both. His hand slipped down your back, pulling you flush against him, and you could feel every muscle in his body tighten. The kiss grew deeper, his lips exploring yours as if trying to stake a claim.

You felt something hard and firm shift beneath you as you sat on Sae's lap. Your face flushed crimson, knowing exactly what it was, his considerable length stirring against you through his pants. Sae's smirk deepened, his hands firmly planted on your waist, pulling you slightly closer.

As Sae pulled you closer, your hips instinctively began to move, rubbing your wet panties against his now throbbing length. You moaned softly into his mouth as he captured your lips again, his smirk turning into a deep, hungry kiss.

Sae's right hand left your waist to reach between your thighs, his fingers deftly flipping up your short skirt to expose your soaked panties. He rubbed your sensitive clit in slow, deliberate circles as you continued to grind your core against his hardness, your moans and whimpers music to his ears.

Without warning, he grabbed your thighs and lifted you onto the nearby table. His hands moved to his belt buckle, undoing it with a clink. He slowly pulled down his pants, revealing boxers that strained against his impressive size.

With one smooth motion, he removed his boxers, revealing his massive, throbbing member glistening with precum. He stepped closer, lining himself up with your still-covered pussy. Teasingly, he rubbed the head of his cock along your wet panties, causing you to whimper. "S-Sae...please.."

What do you want me to do?' Sae asked teasingly, his voice low and husky as he continued rubbing his hard cock against your soaked panties. He leaned in closer, his lips brushing your ear, 'Say it, y/n. Tell me exactly what you need.

"I need you inside me, Sae..." you whimpered desperately, your body aching with desire. Sae flashed you a devilish grin, 'Good girl,' he praised, his voice dripping with desire. In one swift motion, he tore your panties off, exposing your soaked pussy

He then rubbed his cock on your clit, moving down slowly till he reaches your hole. "Fuck"Sae groaned as he slowly pushed forward, the head of his thick cock easing past your tight entrance. Your pussy clenched around him, hot and slick. He paused, letting you adjust to his size before slowly sinking deeper with each inch, stretching you deliciously.

He began with a slow, steady pace, allowing you to feel every ridge and vein as he stretched you open. 'Fuck, you're so tight,' he grunted, his hands gripping your hips tightly.

As Sae quickened his pace, his thick member pounding into you, he reached down to tease your sensitive bundle of nerves. He circled his fingers around your swollen bud, rubbing in slow circles as he thrust into you deeper and faster. "Sae... Sae..." you whined, chanting his name like a prayer.

"...Sae! Sae! Oh god, Sae!' you whined, your voice rising to a desperate chant as he fucked you senseless. Your hands scrabbled at the table, your back arching as he hit that sweet spot inside you over and over.

Your pussy began fluttering around Sae's cock again, signaling another impending orgasm. 'Close already?' Sae murmured teasingly in your ear. Without waiting for a reply, he whispered urgently, 'Cum for me, baby. Soak my cock with your juices.'

As soon as those words left his lips, your body betrayed you, convulsing with another powerful orgasm. 'Fuck!' you cried out, your nails digging into his arms. With one final deep thrust, Sae let out a guttural moan, 'I'm fucking cumming..."

Both of you collapsed against each other, chests heaving as you shared labored breaths. A slow, satisfied smirk spread across Sae's face as he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead.

Sae slowly pulled out, watching your release trickle down your thighs. He looked around at the scene - books you meticulously prepared for his lessons thrown everywhere, pages wrinkled and wet with your arousal.

Sae teased, picking up a book and flipping through the soggy pages. 'So, are we still studying?' You rolled your eyes and muttered a curse under your breath. 'Fuck you,' you said, but Sae just chuckled and said, 'Stay here, it's late.

[scribblestatic]

Since this is now the third post of Spider Shen Yuan, I'll make a masterpost for it. It'll be linked at the end.

Also, fun fact I just found out, but the word for spider in Chinese is 蜘蛛 (Zhī zhū), and, as you know, Shen Yuan's title (given to him) is Lulin Zhizhu (绿林之主 - lǜlín zhī zhǔ - Lord of the Green Forest).

And, like, I know they're two different words because zhū and zhǔ aren't the same. But also, I chose to use Zhīzhǔ because it's close to Shizun (师尊 - Shī zūn), both of which mean master, though Shizun is teacher-master and Zhizhu is lord-master, the latter of which, when using a different word, is also Zhizhu (spider).

FUCK I'm good. Coincidences are on my side on this one.

...Also, if they were to mispronounce his title, he could also be Pearl/Bead of the Green Forest (綠林之珠 - Lùlín Zhīzhū), which I think is cute.

---

The demoness does not take kindly to one of her guards being killed.

In retaliation, she demands that the demon guards use their full power to capture and imprison him.

However, Shen Yuan has not been living and growing for...who knows how many years...without preparing for eventually finding himself in a battle with more intelligent beings than the typical monster.

Using his legs as toothpicks, he stabs each little morsel she sends his way, setting some aside as his little minion spiders wrapped them up to eat later and eating others immediately.

His carapace is quite strong, and his eyes, though lidless, aren't mere weak points some game character could mash until he was destroyed. He has near 360 degree vision with almost blind spots unless he just really isn't paying attention. And since he's paying attention, he makes sure that, even if they haven't hit him yet, he sprays webs to disable the more spiritually-inclined demons staying further back.

When a stronger one approaches, he scuttles out of range, large but extremely mobile. After all, he's covered his entire neck of the woods in his webs, whether visible or nearly imperceivable to the naked human (or demon) eye.

He started as an orb weaver, but over the years, he's adapted to different styles of webs. It's a requirement of the strong to adapt to their surroundings, after all.

Eventually, most of the guards are reduced to little web-covered bags, wriggling futilely to escape, and the demoness, with a few remaining soldiers, cowers as her continued orders start to sputter out.

With a few calculated maneuvers, he causes the presence of the humans to slip from their minds, eventually concealing them in a corner with protective webs. So, even if it occurred to any of them to attempt to use human hostages, they were now out of sight. And taking their eyes off the very real threat in front of them was incredibly unwise, anyway.

Webs thicken. Bodies hang in strong, thick, grey sacks. Little spiders with even smaller legs team together, following under a single spider's orders.

Shen Yuan strategically spins something between a funnel and a sheet web, trapping the remaining demons within. Fire-retardant as his webs are, even trying to burn them proves futile.

The demoness, her guard captain, and the last three demon guards watch in visible terror, squirming deliciously. He's used quite a bit of silk, so he's feeling hungry. Watching them twitch tickles a little part in his brain that says he should bundle them up, nice and tight...

Would he eat them now? Or, perhaps, he should save them for later. Little morsels, qi and blood thrumming through their veins, physical and spiritual.

He lowers himself into the funnel he made, his limbs stretching out, reaching for them.

Surely, they will be—

"...T...There once was a demon..."

Shen Yuan stops suddenly, his legs twitching.

The guard general clears his throat.

"There once was a demon, long ago, who fell in love with a human. A cultivator."

Oh. A story.

Yes.

Yes, Shen Yuan likes stories.

Clearing the hungering fog from his mind, he pulls back, limbs curling in as he watches intently. Listening.

The demon general tells the story of the ill-fated demon and their love for a cultivator. By all intents and purposes, it seemed it was destined to be one-sided.

However, when the cultivator discovers the demon, it turns out she recognizes him. The demon in the story had once saved the human cultivator, and, desiring power, she pursued cultivation so she could stand side-by-side with the demon one day.

They spent many centuries together. But then, the cultivator was made into a god. Drawn up to the celestial realm, the cultivator left the demon behind, and the demon cried out in anguish.

Hatred stewed in the demon's heart over the cultivator's broken promise, and he shot up toward the heavens, ripping into the celestial realm, even as the spiritual qi poisoned him. He ripped and tore through heavenly beings and gods alike, finally coming face-to-face with the goddess that abandoned him.

However, the demon, who still loved the goddess despite it all, could not bring himself to kill her. So, he jumped down from the celestial realm, returning to the demon realm.

Having spent so much time killing gods and spiritual creatures, he was forever altered by the experience. Spiritual qi polluted his body, but he adapted to it, having spent so much time with the cultivator and learning her ways. Determined to not die from qi poisoning, he circulated the spiritual qi and demonic qi, meshing them until it became his own.

Thus, he became the first Heavenly Demon. A demon not even the gods could deny.

That phrase...ah.

Ah, yes. He's heard that term before. From the story he couldn't forget.

Something about this story, about the origin of heavenly demons, didn't sound quite right. A little nigging at the back of his mind. But now wasn't the time to ponder on that too much.

"Hmm... A very interesting story. Of promises broken and power gained. From where did you hear such a tale?"

"My...mother. Used to tell this one of the story," the general stiltedly replies.

"Is it accurate?"

"As far as he knows."

"Very good. This spider very much liked it."

He crawls up higher and begins tearing into the makeshift funnel. Other smaller spiders also begin to tear it apart, unraveling it enough in one spot that something of a door split open in the thick weaving.

"He shall let this group of demons go as thanks for the quality and depth of the story."

But, as the guard captain begins to bow, the little demon princess speaks up, her voice shaking.

"Wait! You! You said you'd make a dress for Li-er!"

Shen Yuan tilts his body, much like one would tilt their head.

"The miss seems to misunderstand. This spider has decided to show her and the remainder of her entourage grace for the quality of the story told to him. However, the story was not only told by the guard captain, but it served as repayment. The story was an expense owed, not one given in return for something else."

He lowers himself closer to the ground, hanging lazily by a single gleaming thread, what little wounds he had already closed and scarred over. The other spiders move around, once again revealing the sky, which has grown naturally dark. The moonlight shines off his round, focused eyes.

"The miss told a story when she arrived. A hateful little tale. About how I, the one recognized as lord of the forest he helped grow, had committed a slight against a nameless little demoness for bestowing gifts upon those who asked for them appropriately. This little miss threatened me, in my domain, with slavery and servitude, to be treated as little more than a slavering beast good only for the produce of its body."

His fangs flex, and she steps back.

"And so, this spider was slighted. Severely. And in return, this spider began to take. And take. And take some more. To take what was owed to me, with due interest."

The withered body of Shen Yuan's first victim lies crumpled on the ground.

"This spider was merely rectifying your sin."

The guard captain extends an arm in front of the lady, but he keeps his gaze low, not daring to look him directly in the eyes.

"...But this guard was wise. He paid this spider with a marvelous story that appeased this one very much. And so, not only has this one decided to let him live, but he's decided to let the little miss and the rest of her guards live as well. A steal, one could say. Five, for the price of one."

He chuckles, light, airy, and rumbling all the same.

"Tell this lord, guard captain. Has this one not been quite magnanimous?"

The captain swallowed thickly, then he lowered himself to one knee. The remaining guards, the ones not bleeding out or cocooned, swiftly followed suit, smelling deliciously of tears, sweat, fear, and salt.

"The Great Spider has been most gracious to us. We thank him for his mercy."

"See," Shen Yuan says, fangs flexing in a poor mockery of a smile. "He understands well."

The little demon princess looks around her, seeming to finally get out of her head and understand what she was dealing with. Her fingers then clutch into her dress, nearly ripping it with her nails... But she slowly lets go, then tucks her hands into her sleeves as she gives a slight bow.

"...Li-er...understands. Thanking this...the Great Spider...for his guidance."

"Hmmh."

Shen Yuan starts losing interest quite quickly. Ruoxing and Miyun are still hiding behind the web he made for them, and with it being dark, they need to head home soon. It's past time to wrap this up.

"This one is a bit surprised this has all turned out the way it has. No demon has been so disrespectful toward me in quite some time. Though, this one supposes, if he knows not your name or title, he shan't expect you to know his. But worry not, worry not. Tis now water under the bridge.

"Though, it is quite late now... Since you no longer owe this spider your lives, perhaps we can barter on much better terms now."

"What would you ask of us, Great Spider?" the guard captain asks.

"The humans you brought with you. Return them to their village. They've garnered this spider's favor, so he shan't tolerate any harm coming to them. This forest can be quite thick and treacherous at night."

"And...in return?"

"The miss shall have her dress."

See? Isn't he so kind?

Miyun won't have to go back home, being led by spiders she's clearly terrified of judging by how she's kept her eyes quite firmly shut for the last few minutes. Ruoxing can show his superiority by helping her get home, even after being attacked by demons. And the little demon princess can have the dress she wanted! Everyone ends up happy.

"...How long should we wait for the dress, if this lowly one may ask?"

"Oh, it should be done by the time you return tonight. This spider wouldn't imagine you all being welcome to rest amongst the humans after such a debacle."

The guard captain doesn't reply, instead looking toward the demon princess. She purses her lips, but eventually, she responds.

"Then, Li-er shall guide the humans home and return. Does the Great Spider need this one's measurements?"

"No. This one has had quite enough time looking at you to acquire them."

Her lip twitch as some indignation returns to her expression. "Should Li-er take this as an expression of lechery?"

"Not at all. Doesn't the young miss also marvel at her food before consuming it?"

As though remembering she was, indeed, almost eaten, she finally shuts right up.

--

The demons do, indeed, return Miyun and Ruoxing home without incident. Perhaps it was because he had his little helpers trail them the entire time, waiting for even a single slip-up or twitch toward taking their anger out on them. Thankfully, they've lost enough lives that day and don't intend to lose any more.

When they return, as promised, Shen Yuan presents the demon princess with a qixiong ruqun, using yellow and other pastels to complement her pink skin (he's been getting into dyes more recently, and he has the fruit to do it). She is immediately enamored by it, but her gaze trails to the webs and the splatters of blood on the ground, and any overt excitement is immediately quenched.

Shen Yuan doesn't feel bad for her, not really. He does feel some sympathy, but lacks any empathy for her situation. If she'd simply come and told a story for her dress, no blood would've had to been spilled, and no lives would've had to be lost.

The dress, which could've simply been paid for with a story, was paid for in blood that wasn't her own. And she would have to face any ire from demons whose family members failed to return due to her own foolishness.

After showing them to the other route, the one that doesn't pass by the village (the one where he's greeted the occasional passing demon), he sends them on their way.

He doesn't expect to see them again, but the little demon princess comes back to commission more clothing, approaching the demon route entrance to his general domain. And this time, she comes with stories.

He comes to learn her name, Xu Meili (许 美丽 - Xǔ Měilì). She's the fourth daughter of some demon general serving a higher lord, but she's basically the equivalent of some human noble, not that Shen Yuan would say that.

Apparently, upon seeing him, they were under the impression he really was just some beast, unaware he was Lulin Zhizhu.

Demons were generally seen as more respectable if they had a more bipedal, humanoid appearance. After all, many weaker demons would cultivate for centuries just to acquire a human form, from huli jing to demonic plants. The fact Shen Yuan still wore a quite monstrous appearance would fool most supposedly decent demons into thinking him a mindless creature.

It also didn't help that, although Lulin Zhizhu was known in little whispers around certain demon communities, for him to be worshiped as a god by humans, they thought he would surely have a human form.

Though, as Xu Meili explained with trepidation, she wasn't using that as an excuse, but merely explaining what she'd thought. That, Shen Yuan could appreciate. As long as she learned her lesson and didn't waste anyone else's lives with her misunderstandings.

Speaking with her, the demon guard general, and other visiting demons helped him immensely. Their stories, while often more bloody and teeming with resentment, were just as pleasing, if not sometimes more so. When he was in a particularly vindictive mood, a demon's story often settled better than something lighter, more forgiving, and human.

He also gained better insight into demon culture... And the fact demons weren't exactly sure how to categorize him. His qi wasn't exactly spiritual, but it wasn't exactly demonic either. In fact, it was that strange mixture of qi that led the demon guard captain to tell the story about heavenly demons.

He was under the impression the spider perhaps was one.

Unsure whether to confirm or deny, Shen Yuan didn't do either. After all, he was pretty sure he wasn't a heavenly demon, but honestly? He didn't know.

So, he'd let the rumor mill roll on that one. Not that he left his forest anyway. Never really saw a reason to get out much when the spiritual and demonic beasts trailing through the forest were plenty enough to fill his stomach. He also had visiting villagers and demons to sate his desire for knowledge. Being a homebody suited him just fine.

--

Han Miyun (韩 蜜韫 - Hán Mìyùn) couldn't quite shake her fear of spiders, so she didn't come back to see him. That being said, it wasn't as though she wasn't grateful. Ruoxing came to visit several times after, seeming even more chummy with Shen Yuan than before, carrying baskets full of mantou and a scroll with a story she wanted to tell him.

When he asked what she wanted of him, Ruoxing said she wanted nothing, and it was simply a gift.

Feeling uncomfortable receiving something without giving in return, he sent Ruoxing back with fruit and qi-infused grass.

This apparently set off a give-a-thon, as Ruoxing swiftly became a willing pack mule between Miyun and Shen Yuan.

"You know, Zhizhu, perhaps you could come out of the forest and visit," Ruoxing hums one day.

Although Shen Yuan's cephalothorax doesn't lend well to expressions, apparently, he had a *look* in his eyes that made the young man fall over laughing.

"You don't have to reject it so strongly! I understand, I understand!"

"This one didn't say anything."

"Forgive me for being impudent, but, Zhizhu, you looked like a cat facing the sea just now."

Listen, it wasn't that Shen Yuan hated the idea of leaving the forest, okay? He simply liked where he was, surrounded by little spider servants that benefited from the fruits of his prior labor and served him in return. He had food, shelter, and visitors. What more could he want?

Traveling to new places...did kinda sound nice But then who would be there to exchange food for storieeessss the spiders could do that. They could. The little ones could possibly take written works and exchange them for other items, like silk, clothes, leather, or whatever else was available.

But still, he could've very well trudge around in his big spider body. That was just begging for every cultivator under the Sun to try to exorcise him or something. He'd have to cultivate a humanoid form. And he...

Did not...really want to?

Mmh.

For some reason, whenever he thinks of a humanoid body... More accurately, of himself within a humanoid body, he thinks of a compressed chest. Of weak limbs. Of heavy breathing, white walls, and monotonous beeping.

He thinks of breaking out in rashes from poor air conditions. Of laying on the floor in a porcelain room, trying to absorb the coolness to combat the heat ravaging his body. Of using some sort of device to support a weakened left leg because his heart wouldn't work right...

Yes. A humanoid body would surely be uncomfortable.

If that meant he had to stay right where he was, so be it.

--

Time passes like that, with demons becoming more frequent visitors on their side and the humans doing what they've always done.

The spiders, although still smaller and with lesser power than he has, seem to be developing more thoughts of their own. Although utterly loyal to him, they also begin acting on their on imperative if he hasn't given them any orders.

One of his older servants, a jumping spider, seemed to take on something of a managerial role. After molting several times, growing larger, and gaining more intelligence, she began collecting stories and making exchanges based on previous examples of his habits.

As it turned out, she had developed a demon core already? Well, it wasn't quite a demon core. She had mostly spiritual qi instead of demonic qi, so she was more suitable for communing with humans.

It seemed that, due to the very instinctual drives they had, coupled with typically being reviled by humans, developing to such an extent was a rarity (of course, that meant Shen Yuan was an outright cryptid).

Through some quiet understanding between them, Shen Yuan ended up naming her. She seemed to accept the name Zhuzi (珠子 - Zhūzǐ - Little Pearl) well enough.

She's rather helpful, especially when someone arrives with a story but he's already occupied with someone else. It doesn't happen often, but with both humans and demons now associating with him more frequently, as infrequently as that can be, having someone else help does wonders.

Fan Zhenzhen visits from time to time, sometimes to tell stories, other times to simply be around him. Sometimes, she'll ask questions about a plant, animal, or some other thing she's seen or heard of.

Of course, Shen Yuan doesn't mind simply sharing knowledge. With all the fantastical creatures in the world, he's quite charmed by them, so talking about them is time well spent. Especially for someone like him, who is simply a spider and doesn't have a job.

As she grows older, she comes to visit a bit less. A little disheartening, yes, but he understands. It makes the times he does see her all the more meaningful.

Fan Ruoxing grows older, and eventually, he marries Han Miyun. He arrives the day before his wedding and gives him a cup of sweetened black tea. It's so small, it's barely anything to him. It tastes fantastic regardless. Shen Yuan sends him off with a wedding gift basket of fresh vegetables, spices, and a poncho shawl to match Miyun's.

On the day-of, Shen Yuan sits in his cave, feeling a bit unsettled.

It's not like he really wants to be down in the village. He likes his quiet, relative solitude. Moreover, what human would want a huge spider at their wedding with their arachnophobic wife? He'd be nothing but a disturbance.

Zhuzi, who ventured out with her smaller, less conspicuous body, watched the wedding from the nearby tree line. He silently gave her more Thrice-Bloomed Yuzu after she relayed the festivities to him.

She did the same thing when Fan Ruoxing's first daughter came into the world.

100 days later, he, Miyun, and Meixiu (美宿 - Měixiù) came to visit, although Miyun was never once able to look up. Even still, after telling him a story, Shen Yuan blesses their child, hoping that her life is as bright and plentiful as the 'beautiful constellations' in the night sky.

He also gives them some of the same yuzu he would give Zhuzi, though he directs them to dilute it. After all, it's very qi-rich and could be a bit much for her developing spiritual veins. Fan Meixiu had the spiritual strength and potential to become a cultivator, after all.

A year and a few months later, and they visit with their second and third children, twins. Qinglian (轻莲 - Qīnglián) and Jiahao (家豪 - Jiāháo) didn't quite have the same spiritual potential, but Shen Yuan wished they would lead meaningful, fruitful lives nevertheless.

With more mouths to feed and more care to give, visits to him become less frequent. Again, quite disappointing, but to be expected.

The same goes for the little demon princess, Xu Meili. Some demon politics and intrigue take up more of her time, and despite being one of nine children, the fourth daughter, eighth out of the nine, she was the one who apparently found the most auspicious husband. This was, according to her, partially due to her many spider silk clothes.

Since she was going quite far away to be with her husband, future correspondence would dwindle. But she does, in that rough tone of hers that she could never quite get rid of, tell him that he would be welcome if he ever decided to step out of his "resplendent hovel".

And so, for the first time in years, Shen Yuan finds himself without his typical visitors.

And he feels alone.

...hmmh.

Maybe cultivating a humanoid body wouldn't be the worst thing to do.

----

For future parts, see the Masterpost (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

Masterpost

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3: here

[rkivefae]

(repost from old acc, it's been a few years since I've been on here)

Okay, so my friend has doodled in my chemistry notebook when I let them borrow it, then I began thinking,,

Steddie high school au

Eddie draws continuously in chemistry class and he has certain things he draws with inspiration from that class and doesn’t want to contaminate it with other classes so he hides the notebook, poorly, in hope that when he comes back, it'll still be there.

Steve comes to his seat, in the back of the class and notices it immediately. His first thought is that someone lost it so he grabs it in hopes of seeing a name but instead sees crazy drawings. Ranging from small sketches of supposed knights to fantasy creatures that Steve never would have thought of seeing.

"If found, leave where it is OR ELSE" It read in thick sharpie letters on the front page.

He felt bad for being nosy and going through it but he couldn't help himself as he continued looking through it. After some heavy overthinking, he decides to draw something back. He wasn't the most talented but he was better than most in his art classes, so hopefully they didn’t laugh too much at his attempt.

He decides to draw a jester, tried his best to shade in all perfectly and portion everything properly. To say the least, he was impressed with his final product because this is better than anything he’s ever done in is classes. Next to it he writes, as if the character was saying it, “You should put this in better places.”

He didn’t even focus in class, AT ALL.

But when he came back to the class, he found the notebook again. Took one look at it and tried to fight back the desire to just crack it open and see if they wrote back. His fingers itched to have the glosses cover turned open. just a peak. He tried to reason and at first he held back. Trying to focus in class but that ended terribly, so he grabbed the notebook after about 5 minutes of spacing out on the teacher and eyeing it.

When he opened the page, there it was. A reply.

It was a king, you could tell by the crown he wore but fangs were prominent in the grinning feature. Black curled hair that fell onto his shoulder that was covered by a dark suit. A hand stretched out with a sword towards the Jester, “There is a trespasser? And a fool? State thy business!”

Steve fucking giggled. Giggled! Of all things he could’ve done, he giggled! King Steve Harrington since freshman year, had all the ladies wooing at him and guys wanting to be him just giggled because the owner of the notebook drewsomething for him.

Steve would never get focus back into that class since he replied. Always waiting for the notebook and it became his priority. He didn’t understand how he was still passing that class with how much he began lacking!

They talked about simple silly things at first before Eddie began picking it up more, talking more about who he was but never stated a name, not yet. They weren’t ready for that.

Steve even helped Eddie decide on what to use as his Hellfire club signature look that was going to be fought to be published as an official club on school record!

But when the last page came along at the ending of the school year, Eddie spoke about it. Said, “It’s the end of the year, the last of this book. Could I finally ask your name?”

Steve’s whole world stopped spinning. He couldn’t even begin to explain the thoughts racing through his head.

When they know, would they stop being friends with him? No one truly liked Steve Harrington, he became popular by default of being a pretty boy and on the basketball team. Most talked about how his group of people were assholes and that he might as well be, too. He wasn’t oblivious, he knew what most people thought. He was a boy of a rich family that was spoiled. That wasn’t a lie, but his life wasn’t pretty, thanks to his father and mother. But could anyone really understand that? Walking through the door of his home in fear of what he’ll walk in and see, what would happen to him if he breathed wrong in the presence of his father?

What if when he says his name and they don’t want nothing to do with him? What if when he says his name, he loses the only honest friendship he has? What if they share the things he told them in the notebook to everyone else withproof as a way to ruin his life because they didn’t like him? Maybe they weren’t like that but Steve couldn’t take that risk. No one with this chance would not take it, right? Tommy would take it. The rest of the boys on the team would take it. Carol would take it and laugh about it. He couldn’t expect different from other people, right?

Steve’s breathing quickened as his chest tightened, tears welling up and he gripped his chest. He rushed out of class with an unsteady balance, the teacher yelling behind him and he didn’t return for that period, the notebook left open and unsigned.

He couldn’t.

That moment was talked about everywhere, how he rushed out of class and didn’t return. No one bothered to question why, just whispered how panicked he was. Poor Steve, they said mockingly in the halls but never to his face.

Eddie knew.

It didn’t take long to piece it all together, the incident, the opened notebook, the fact that it was all too much of a coincidence and the things he said just made sense for it to be Steve Harrington.

He didn’t want to believe it at first, laughing that it was just dumb and there was no way that Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington was talking to Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson with passion. But then again, they both didn’t know who each other was.

When Steve talked about dumb moments with his ‘friends’ and how he felt bad for the people they ‘hung’ around, the games he lost and how he beat himself up, even the moments that Steve told him how he hated the social ranking - it all should have made sense. At first, Eddie thought that the person writing back was like him, a freak with nerdy interest. Which, in a different font, Steve was.

However, as the next few years flied by, Eddie just watched Steve from afar. From sucking faces with Nancy Wheeler in the hallway, picking her up and twirling her around, smiling bright because he was happy to the moments that it looked like Steve was seconds away from turning over and dying. The bruises that cascaded over certain parts of his body being a brushed off topic and the fear that was in his eyes when he turned the corner. Like he knew things he shouldn’t.

There was raw fear, hatred, anger and even disgust that Eddie was able to recognize. Part of him wondered where the happiness went and the other was tired of him staying afar, wanting to talk to him because Steve Harrington was more than just a pretty boy from what he knew and the look on his eyes only said more.

Eddie never got to, Steve rushed past every day, ready to get the day over and he couldn’t talk to him. Soon, Steve graduated and Eddie was held-back again and he took that as a sign. A strong one. To just get over it. He was never going to know Steve Harrington and it was stupid for him to even think so. Plus, if he did, it was stupid! The town freak with the most loved boy in town? Not a good duo. So, he stayed afar for good.

Until he didn’t.

Steve Harrington waltzed in with an arguing Dustin Henderson, the club all watching the two before Steve Harrington scoffed. “I’m serious, I’m not playing your nerdy campaign just because you’re missing a person! I don’t understand it,” He said, pushing a bag towards Dustin’s chest. “You know I’m not smart enough to understand that.”

Before Dustin could reply, Eddie took that as his chance to finally greet them. He climbed out of his chair rather loudly, catching both of their attention before walking up to Steve, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning forward.

“Well, Well, if it isn’t the missing Jester.” He said, a cocky tone laced within it

It took only a few seconds before Steve’s eyes widened when it clicked.

“No. Fucking. Way.”

[cartierre]

NIGHTS LIKE THIS | ob3

❝ It's night like this when I need your love ❞

synopsis: and if only one night is meant for the two of us, is it worth falling in love for?

pairing: ollie bearman x fem!reader warnings: sweet, flirting, making out, angst, google translate italian word count: 4k

author's note: inspired by 'nights like this' by the kid laroi! there is a name drop towards the end but throughout the majority of the fic, reader's name is not mentioned.

The gym was packed with loud teenagers, all talking at a rapid speed trying to overcome the booming music that echoed through the big speakers. Everyone was dressed in gorgeous evening wear, most of the girls adorned glittery dresses while the boys stuck to traditional black suits. There was some finger food displayed on tables on the side, bowls filled with alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks quenching the students’ and teachers’ thirst. 

Ollie found himself misplaced among the Italian teenagers. He had only moved there a year ago and since he entered Formula Two, he barely attended any of his classes. He wasn’t even sure how exactly he had graduated, just that the heavy burden of getting good grades got lifted from his shoulders. 

At least one less thing he had to worry about.

His parents were long gone, only having stuck around for the official ceremony until they left him to “have fun with his fellow peers”. It’s ironic, he thought, since he didn’t even know most of their names.

The drink in his hand only had a few sips left, the prosecco leaving a bittersweet taste on his tongue. He felt a soft buzz from the alcohol, but ultimately decided against getting wasted with people he didn’t even fully understand. It was partially his fault, he never cared enough to pay attention in his Italian language class. 

“Che tragedia!” (How tragic!) He could hear his Italian teacher in the back of his mind. “Your Italian è terribile!” (Your Italian is terrible!)

Tugging at his tie around his neck, he feared he was close to suffocating from all the noise around him. Placing his drink on some of the tables splattered around the hall, he excused himself to no one in particular before sprinting up the stairs in the hallway leading up to the rooftop. He only found out about the spot a week ago, having got lost inside the school and accidentally ending up there.

The fresh air hit his face, though he immediately noticed that it wasn’t much cooler outside than inside. The Italian weather played against his plans, the sun not even fully set as it smiled against his cheeks.

Pulling his tie loose, Ollie still felt more relieved to have left the sticky gym. He felt stupid for not just going home with his parents, why did he decide to stay? It’s not like he had any friends to celebrate graduation with.

“Seems like I’m not the only one in need of escaping.” 

Only then did Ollie see a girl next to him. 

She leaned against the railing, a cigarette dangling between her manicured fingers. Her hair fell down her back, framing her face softly. She wore a black dress, way more simple than all the other girls he had seen, yet so elegant. He couldn’t help himself but glance at her breasts being pushed together by the dresses neckline. Ashamed, he quickly stopped analysing her.

“Cat got your tongue?” She smirked at him, raising her eyebrow as she took a drag of her cig. “Isn’t that what you English people say?”

“You know me?” He asked, perplexed that she knew about his nationality. Did he look that British?

“I’ve read about you.” She shrugged. “Wanted to know more about the futuro della formula uno, the future of formula one, that is supposedly my classmate.”

“I’m not even a Formula One driver.” Ollie corrected, though he felt the tip of his ears get hot from having such a beautiful girl call him the future of formula one. “And I’m even less of a classmate, probably.”

“Well, officially you are my classmate. Or were.” She smiled. “And once you’ll become a world champion I’ll brag about having been your classmate. Even if I’ve never seen you in person up until now.”

“Not sure about the world champion part, yet.” He shrugged, his hand gripping the railing as if he was about to fall. 

“Oh, he’s so humble.” The girl teased him, giving him a slight punch in the arm naggingly. “Well, the newspapers seem sure about it. You being champion material, or something like that.”

“The newspapers say a lot, whether it’s true or not.” He felt his cheek burn in embarrassment. Ollie wasn’t one to push his ego, he’d rather prove his worth on track than talk big without having anything to show for.

She didn’t say anything. Her eyes scanned over him, as if analysing him from top to bottom. He didn’t know what was going on in her head, but right now he wished he could read her mind. She took another drag of her cigarette, and even if Ollie despised the smell of tobacco, he somehow liked it when she smelled like it. 

Gosh, what was he thinking? He didn’t even know her, yet somehow he felt so serene next to her.

“Why do you think so little of yourself?” She settled to ask after a minute of observing. 

“I don’t.” He simply answered, though his voice was quivering, unsure of what he should’ve said.

“You’re a bad liar.” She chuckled. “Your posture says differently. You’re unsure of yourself and your abilities, but why?”

“I guess…” He cleared his throat, her intense analysis of him humbling him even more. “I guess I don’t want to put the same pressure and expectations everyone puts on me on myself as well.”

He turned to look at her, finally gathering enough courage to do so. Her head was tilted to the side, her lips wrapped around her cigarette to take one final puff before throwing it on the ground and stepping on it. 

“Wanna get out of here?” She asked instead of reacting to his words.

Ollie was taken aback by her request, admiring her boldness of asking straight away rather than talking around it. Without wanting to sound arrogant, Ollie was used to girls asking him for certain things. Sometimes, he loved the attention, especially right after a good race, but with her he felt shier than ever. 

So it surprised him when he answered confidently.

“Sí.” (Yes.)

With another smirk towards him, the girl clearly satisfied with his answer, the two of them sneaked back down again to escape the facility. He sucked in a breath of fear when he saw her grabbing a bottle of prosecco nonchalantly before exiting the school. Ollie was sure they’d get busted for stealing, however none of the teachers seemed to care much as none of them even batted an eye.

“They have enough of that stuff,” She said as she saw his face drenched in worry. “Don’t act like we’re stealing anything valuable. Also, I bet Ferrari has paid them enough to let you pass so think of it as a little gift.”

He had never encountered someone like her, Ollie realised as she popped the bottle the minute they stood outside. Taking a sip straight from the bottle, she let out a sigh. “They have the good one as well.”

Offering him a sip, she pulled out another Vogue cigarette and lit it with her lighter. “I don’t assume you smoke, but regardless, do you want one?” She said as she held out the pack in front of him.

Ollie hesitated a bit, but ultimately declined. He was sticking to the prosecco. 

“Figured.” She shrugged and shoved the pack back into her little purse. 

“So- uh- where to now?” He asked, taking another sip of the drink. He felt himself growing more nervous every minute he spent with her. 

She smiled, taking his hand boldly and running off into a certain direction. Ollie stumbled forward, not expecting her approach, but then took off behind her and followed her blindly. 

At that moment, he would’ve followed her anywhere.

Giggling uncontrollably, she kept turning her head around to him from time to time. Her hair was flowing behind her as if she was from another planet, somewhere where beauty lit up the night. Her beauty certainly lit up his night.

“Come on,” she slowed down, taking small breaths, her cheeks slightly shiny from the sweat. “It’s not far.”

“Where are you taking me?” Ollie’s face was flushed, his locs sticking to his forehead from all the running. The summer air was hitting his face and he felt warm under his suit jacket. 

“It’s a sorpresa!” She just said, opening her mouth slightly and nodding towards the prosecco in his hands. 

His brain malfunctioned for a second, then started acting without thinking. In a smooth motion, he poured some of the liquid into her mouth, accidentally spilling some. The alcohol ran down her chin, trailing down her chest and inbetween her breasts. 

Ollie felt hot, and this time it wasn’t just the summer heat.

She laughed after gulping down the sparkling wine, wiping her chin with her hand, careful not to smudge her lipstick. 

“Ehi!” (Hey!)

Ollie ducked down, as if he would dodge a bullet, from the sudden shrill voice coming from above. The girl kept laughing, ignoring the old woman screaming at the two from her little balcony. 

“Silenzio!” (Be quiet!) The old woman yelled at them again, raising her fist as if to curse them. “È tardi, idioti!” (It’s late, you idiots!)

“Non essere così duro!” (Don’t be so harsh!) The girl yelled back, still giggling. “Vivi un po', nonna!” (Live a little, grandma!) She stretched out her hands like a starfish, twirling around until she stumbled. 

Ollie was quick to wrap his hands around her waist, keeping her from falling to the ground. Only when she was gripping his biceps to steady herself, he realised how close he was to her. 

“Vai via da me!” (Go away from me!) The grandma kept yelling, Ollie not understanding anything the two were saying. “Voi due piccioncini...” (You two lovebirds...) She mumbled and shook her head, making her way inside her house again and leaving the two on their own.

“Arrivederci!” (Bye!) The girl giggled, waving the old lady goodbye as if she didn’t just curse at them.

“Now the last bit I got.” Ollie joked, stepping away from her again. He took a sip from the alcohol, feeling like that was the only source keeping him stable for now. 

“Look at you, little Italian.” She joked back, brushing her hand against his chest before reaching up and loosening his tie even more. She had to step on her toes to reach him, despite being in heels, then patted his chest when she was done. “Don’t want you to suffocate.” She whispered, giving him a flirty look before stepping away and nodding towards the end of the small alley they were in. “This way, follow me.”

When she turned his back to him, he threw his head back and prayed to whoever to help him get through without losing his mind, before following her yet again.

Eventually, and without any other disruptions, the two of them ended up outside a small pizzeria, which surprisingly was still open. There weren’t many people inside, just your local neighbours and a few drunks getting their snack. 

“Aahh!” The owner smiled as he saw the girl enter. “La mia piccola stella!” (My little star!)

“Zio Enzo!” (Uncle Enzo!) She greeted him, sharing their kisses on each cheek as accustomed in Italy. 

They continued talking in Italian, Ollie gathering one or two words here and there from his lessons, but not enough to properly follow their conversation. He realised his teacher would normally talk at a much slower pace, probably to help him understand each word clearly, though now it seemed of little help to him.

“... Formula…?” The owner looked at Ollie, eyeing him up and down. Ollie felt uncomfortable, not knowing what exactly they were talking about, and awkwardly smiled at him. He waved at the owner, not sure what else to do. 

“He’s your friend, no?” Finally, the owner switched to a language Ollie was able to understand. “Il tuo ragazzo?” (Your boyfriend?)

“No, no.” She shook her head, side eye-ing Ollie quickly to see if he had understood what Enzo had asked her. He didn’t seem so, as he stared cluelessly at her.

“Welcome, welcome!” He reached over the counter to greet the young boy, patting his cheek before stretching his arm out to his co-worker. “A pilota di Formula uno in my pizzeria! Francesco, can you believe it?”

“I’m not a Formula One-”

“Una pizza napoletana da asporto per favore.” (One Pizza Napoletana to go, please.) She interrupted him, smiling at the owner sweetly. 

“Ovviamente!” (Of course!) The owner smiled brightly at the two young people. “Pizza Napoletana to go, Francesco, did you hear that?” He turned back to the couple. “Ready in about fifteen minutes. You want something to drink?”

Ollie held up the half empty prosecco bottle, making the owner laugh out loud and nodding in encouragement before getting back to the other customers. 

“So, that’s your uncle's shop?” Ollie asked, trying to open a conversation while waiting for their pizza. 

“Oh no,” The girl shook her head, laughing a bit. “Everybody here calls Enzo their uncle. He’s been here forever, we all grew up eating his pizza.” 

“Oh.” Ollie’s face got hot in embarrassment. 

She laughed at him, slightly punching his arm when she noticed how red he got. “Is that a British thing?”

“What do you mean?” He was confused by her question.

“You get red all the time!” She exclaimed. “I look at you and you’re flushed. At first I was honoured to make you blush, but now I think you’re just like that constantly.”

He was like that constantly just because she was there. But she didn’t need to know that.

“Yeah, I guess it’s a British thing.” He scratched his neck, his face hot again, lying to her face since he didn’t want to admit how flustered she makes him ever since they met.

“It’s a cute British thing.” She slightly pushed him, grinning from ear to ear. “Don’t stop.”

He couldn’t even if he wanted to.

“Pizza Napoletana for my little stella!” 

Taking the pizza carton, the two bid their goodbyes to Enzo before continuing their way down the small alleys. Along the way, Ollie felt her hand intertwining with his again. He didn’t protest.

“We’re here!” She yelled laughingly, letting go of his hand to run forward. “Come on!”

They found themselves at the beach, the small town behind them glittering in the water as the lights reflected on the surface. There were nearly no people on the beach, surprisingly, and Ollie had to hold back his laughter when he saw the girl getting rid of her shoes to feel the sand between her toes. 

“I love the beach.” She said when he came up to her, pizza in one hand and prosecco in the other. He placed both of it carefully on the ground before taking his jacket off, laying it down onto the sand to somewhat protect them from the sand. 

Sitting down, he realised just how close they were to fit into his jacket. Though he wouldn’t ever complain about it. Sharing the pizza, the two of them were silently enjoying the view and food, sharing a sip of prosecco every once in a while, emptying the bottle. 

It’s gotten late. More and more of the few people around them started packing up their stuff. Ollie’s phone had no more battery left, so he was unsure just what time it was. Looking to his right, he also didn’t care what time it was. 

The two were now laying on the beach, their heads sharing the space on Ollie’s suit jacket. Next to them was the empty pizza carton next to the prosecco bottle. They’d clean it up later. 

“... and that’s Andromeda, named after the Ethiopian princess saved by Perseus. She was chained to a rock, being sacrificed to the sea monster Cetus.” She pointed towards the sky, tracing the star constellation she just talked about. “You see?”

He couldn’t really decipher any of the constellations she pointed out to him, Ollie just liked listening to her talking about something she was passionate about. So he nodded, humming in agreement.

“You’re not paying attention!” She scolded him jokingly, shoving his shoulder with her own and giggling when she noticed how she ripped him out of his trance. 

“No, no, I was!” He tried to defend himself. 

“Really? Then where is Andromeda?” She raised her brow, her lips stretched into a smirk. 

Clearing his throat, Ollie turned his head to look at the stars again, randomly pointing at the bright points decorating the night sky. “See, right there.”

Laughing at his attempt, she just shook her head and took his hand into hers. Stretching his pointy-finger out, she helped him slowly trace the Andromeda constellation. “She’s right here, glowing beautifully above us.” She whispered, her eyes soaking up the beauty of the stars while his eyes were drowning in hers.

Slowly, her hands holding his traced each of his fingers. They went over his knuckles, following the lines on the palm of his hand before stopping on his wrist. None of them talked, enjoying the silence and the feel of each other's skin while the waves splashed softly in the background. 

She felt him staring at her from the side, finally turning to him and meeting his eyes. Their hands were still up in the air, though she dropped hers when he felt his hand coming down. He cupped her face gingerly. 

His thumb traced her cheekbone, just as her fingers used to trace his hand, until they stopped at her lips. Her lipstick had been long gone after they finished the pizza, though Ollie found himself enjoying her natural lips just as much as her painted ones. 

He softly swiped over her lips, feeling the shaky breath she let out on his thumb. He couldn’t stop staring at them, wondering what they’d feel like on his lips, what they’d taste like. 

What she would taste like.

“Now or never.” She whispered, making his eyes snap back at hers. 

He leaned over her, using his elbows and free hand to stabilise himself to not crush her with his weight. “Sì?”

“Sì, Oliver.”

Ollie groaned, his full name sounding so appealing when it came out of her lips, and suddenly he’s never felt so sure about something. 

He leaned down, pressing his lips against hers. He was sure he'd never felt so many butterflies going around his stomach. He had goosebumps all over his body, his face flushed yet again and the nervosity fading away with every passing second.

His hand cupping her face moved to her hair, his fingers entangling with her hair and his body moving more and more on top of her. He felt her hands wandering up his back towards his neck, pulling him towards her. Her hands settled on his chest, her nails scratching over the fabric of his dressing shirt. 

His hand, previously holding him up which now his knees did, settled on her waist, tracing small circles over his dress. Her legs wrapped themselves around his waist, her back arching upwards and pressing against his chest.

Ollie felt himself going crazy when he felt her whimpering against his lips, his mind on autopilot as he kissed her down the neck, sucking on her pulsing point which had her moaning and panting. Her nails scratched against his scalp, the slight pain making him groan against her skin. 

“Ollie-” She gasped, throwing her head back as she felt one of his hands tracing the curve of her boob. “Oh Dio…” (Oh God…)

Hearing his name, Ollie snapped out of his trance. Breathing heavily, he pulled away from her slightly to calm down for a second. “Fuck…”

Her taste lingered on his lips, the feeling of kissing her consuming his whole. He knew they needed to stop before things got out of hand, he figured she realised that exact thought as he looked into her eyes. 

Ollie rolled over, leaving the space on top of her and settling down next to her.

There was silence between them, the sound of the waves mixing with their heavy breathing. Suddenly, she started giggling beside him. Not knowing why, Ollie felt the urge to just join her. 

Both giggling, neither of them sure why, and yet the two of them understood each other.

She sat up, looking down at him sideways. “I think it’s time to go.”

Ollie wasn’t sure if she knew how crushing her words were. He wanted to freeze this moment, freeze this moment with her. If it was up to him, he’d never leave this night. 

But it wasn’t up to him, so he stood up and helped her do the same. Dusting the sand off of themselves, Ollie grabbed his suit jacket and shook it before placing it on her shoulders. She smiled at him, and he was sure her eyes sparkled as much as the sky above them. 

They disposed of the carton and bottle in a trash can in front of the beach. The alleys ahead of them were completely empty and Ollie was sure it must’ve been the early hours of the day by now. 

Neither of them shared many words on their way home. He was dreading the moment they separated, and feared making conversation would only speed up the time until then. So he settled for just holding her hand, and she settled for clinging onto his arm. 

But talking or not, eventually they reached the hotel Ollie was staying in. 

“I guess this is it.” She entangled herself from his grip. “Pilota di Formula uno.” (Formula One driver.)

“Doesn’t have to.” He whispered, his eyes searching the depths of hers. “England isn’t that far away, you know. And there are races here in Italy.”

She just smiled at him. “Don’t forget about me when you’re on top.”

“I don’t think I could ever forget about you.” He breathed out.

“Forever is a pretty long time.”

“Not long enough.”

She chuckled at his response, shaking her head. “You’ve gotten a lot bolder ever since the beginning of the night.”

“Learned from the best.” He winked at her, making her laugh out loud. He felt himself grow prideful, he made her laugh again. Oh how he loved her laugh.

“Yeah, your future girlfriend can write me a thank you postcard from England.” She teased, though her joke fell on deaf ears. He didn’t laugh. 

Awkwardly, she looked at her feet. Now she felt herself grow hot within her.

“I don’t even know your name.” Ollie realised out of the blue. 

She looked up at him, now grinning again and feeling relieved at the topic change. “You didn’t figure it out?”

“Figure out what?” He asked cluelessly. 

The girl outstretched her hand. “I’m Andromeda.”

Playing along, he took her hand, slightly bent down and softly kissed the back of it. “Pleasure to meet you, Andromeda.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” She chuckled at his antics, lightly bowing back at him. They both laughed at their situation.

“Drive safe, Oliver.” She smiled sadly at him, both of them knowing it was now finally the time to say goodbye. “And if you ever find yourself back here, maybe stop by Zio Enzo’s pizzeria, alright? Maybe you’ll find me there.”

“I’ll be looking for you.” He breathed out before taking one final step towards her.

Cupping her face again, he pressed a lingering kiss against her lips, cherishing this moment one more time. She melted into him instantly, her hand falling flat against his chest. 

Parting, they breathed each other’s air. His thumb traced her lips again, his rough skin tasting salty against her tongue. He looked deeply into her eyes, memorising their sparkle just like the star constellation she was named after.

“Addio mia stella.” (Goodbye, my star.)

[dilemmaontwolegs]

F.I.N.E || MV1

Pairing: Max Verstappen x teacher!reader Summary: When your student gets injured and you can’t get hold of her parents you try call an old contact number hoping he can help. Warnings: slight angst, fluff WC: 3.4K

Max frowned at the unfamiliar number calling him. If it wasn’t for the fact it was a local number he would have ignored it but since few people had his personal number he decided to answer it. Immediately he was hit with the sound of high pitch cries and a soothing voice softly singing a lullaby that eased the knot of anxiety that had formed in an instant. 

“Hello, is this Max?” you asked when you realised the dual tone had stopped and the call had been answered. You shifted the child carefully on your lap and grabbed the old enrolment form to see the name again. “Max Verstappen?”

“Maxy?” the girl in your arms echoed with confusion.

“Yes, who is this?”

“Miss Y/L/N, I’m one of Penelope’s teachers. There’s been an incident and I found your number under her emergency contact list.”

“Oh no, sorry, there must be a mistake. You should call her mother or father. I’m not, we’re not, um, I shouldn’t be on that list anymore.”

You cringed as another piercing cry deafened your ear and you rubbed the little girl's back. “It hurts,” she whimpered.

“I know, sweetheart, someone will be here to get you shortly,” you replied softly and you hoped it was the truth. “Look, Max, I’ve tried every other contact number and no one is answering. Is there any way you could come down here? At least until I can get in touch with someone else.”

Max pinched the bridge of his nose but when he heard P’s shuddering cry he knew he had to go. “Okay, I’ll be there shortly.”

Max didn’t care if he got a parking ticket, he took the loading space right outside the preschool building. He likely would have gotten a speeding ticket too in his rush to cross the city but thankfully there weren’t any police in his path. 

“Maxy!” 

Penelope wriggled in your arms as she spotted the stranger walking into the classroom. His eyes immediately found her and he crossed the space to where you sat holding her.

“Hey, P,” he greeted with a smile and knelt down at your height. “What’s happened, bug?”

Her little eyes welled up again as she lifted her bandaged wrist. “I fell off the playground.”

“I don’t think anything is broken but I would suggest having her doctor check to be sure.”

“I don’t know who her doctor is. I don’t even know what I’m doing here.”

“You’re contact details were-”

“Those must have been from when she started. Her mother and I haven’t been together for a while.”

“Oh, I see. I’m sorry to put this on you. I swear I tried every other phone number we have.”

Max nodded and his sigh sounded exhausted as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I just need to make a call. I’ll be back in a minute, bug.”

Max walked along the room, looking over the children’s artwork as he pressed his phone to his ear and waited. Eventually the call went to voicemail and his spine straightened tensely. “Kel, I’ve picked up P from daycare and I’m taking her to the hospital. Call me when you get this.”

You could see the man was stressed when he returned and his short hair pointed in all directions from the hand he kept nervously running through it. It was cute.

“Daniil is in Italy this week for work,” Max said as he returned to your side and picked up Penelope’s Prada backpack before opening his arms. “I’ll keep trying to get a hold of Kelly. Come on, bug.”

Lunchtime was coming to an end and children were starting to file back into the room, a few of the older ones stopping at staring wide eyed at Max. He was tall but not that tall or formidable to draw such a reaction but your question was answered when one of the boys ran to his picture on the wall. Timothée unpinned the drawing of a race car and ran up to Max, holding it out with a pencil.

“Sir, can you please sign this?”

Max looked used to the attention and took the pen with a polite, “Sure.” He stared at the picture for the moment after signing it and chuckled. “Is the RB20?”

Timothée nodded eagerly. “It’s my favourite.”

“Mine too,” he said as handed the picture back and smiled as it was crushed happily to the boy's chest. Max then carefully picked up Penelope, slowly so she wasn’t jostled, and his arms brushed yours. 

“If you need anything you have my number,” you reminded as the weight was lifted from your lap. “Children can be a little overwhelming if you’re not used to it.”

Max smiled fondly at Penelope and shook his head. “This isn’t new. I still have her room set up.”

“You do?” Penelope asked hopefully and Max turned his head as he cursed to himself. “Are we going to live with you again?”

“No, no, sorry, P,” he said softly. “I just haven’t had time to redecorate.”

“Oh.” You both winced at the defeated tone and you knew the fresh tears had nothing to do with her arm this time but you were saved by the bell as it spurred Max to toss the bag over his shoulder and look to the door.

“I hope you feel better soon, Penelope.”

“Thank you, Miss Y/L/N.”

“Thank you,” Max echoed with a nod before departing.

All afternoon you were distracted with thoughts of the two of them until the final bell rang and you grabbed your phone. You had sporadically tried to contact Daniil and Kelly again but the calls went straight to voicemail every time and you found no returned calls.

Y/N: How is Penelope? Max: She is happy watching The Little Mermaid. She has a sprained wrist and the nurse complemented the bandaging so you should be proud. Y/N: And how are you? Max: I’m fine.

Max swore as the pot of water boiled over and he hissed as he grabbed the handle to find it was just as hot. He dropped his phone reaching for the teatowel and then P started calling out from the living room complaining that the movie was boring - the same movie she watched a thousand times and she had specifically asked for.

Y/N: My mentor used to tell me that stood for: freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional. Are you sure you are fine?

After turning the stove down to a simmer and wiping up the mess of water that had splashed across his floor he went and changed the movie to what would hopefully last longer than ten minutes before she changed her mind. Taking another attempt at making dinner, he grabbed a bag of pasta from his pantry and poured its entirety into the pot.

Max: I’m thinking I am definitely neurotic and possibly starting to freak out. Y/N: I couldn’t have that on my conscience. My offer still stands if you need some help. Max: You don’t have anyone you need to get home to? Y/N: My cat prefers his own company unless he’s hungry and he’s already been fed today so no. Max: I don’t want you to go out of your way. Y/N: I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t willing to follow through. Let me help. Please?

Max smiled at his phone before sending his address and looking around to see how tidy the place was. His jacket was tossed on the table instead of being hung up and Penelope’s bag was spilled across the entryway floor, not the first impression he wanted to make.

You entered the port address into your phone and locked the classroom behind you, feeling a little unsteady at the thought of seeing Max again. Penelope was a sweet child and she seemed comfortable with Max but you hadn’t really ever heard her talk about him before. You told yourself the only reason you were going there was to check on your student's wellbeing, but a small part of you wanted to see Max again.

You wondered if maybe he hadn’t heard your knock on the door or that you had the wrong apartment and you rapped your knuckles on it again before he called out. There was a crash and then a groan close to the door before it swung open and Max balanced on one leg.

“Uh, is everything okay?” you asked as he clutched his foot.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” he rushed before he caught the teasing curl of your brow and he froze before a smile grew on his lips. “Right, freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional.”

“You’re a quick learner.” You stepped inside at his invitation and he closed the door behind you while you rushed towards the burning smell in the kitchen. “Oh, wow.”

“Fucksake,” Max grumbled as he grabbed a wet tea towel before reaching for the tray of garlic bread in the oven. “Ouch, shit!”

“You said a naughty word,” Penelope called out from the next room like it was something that she regularly commented on. “That's another 20.”

Max sighed heavily as he looked at a jar on the bench that was already filled with cash. “Shit.”

“I heard that.”

“Shouldn’t you be watching your movie?”

You giggled at the amusing conversation before turning the tap to cold and taking Max’s hand. “Wet towels and hot trays make steam.”

He watched you guide his hand under the water and flinched as it hit the burn mark on his palm. “I don’t usually cook, if you couldn’t tell.”

“The life of a bachelor. Keep your hand there.” You moved with ease around his kitchen trying to save what was left of dinner but paused at a huge pot of pasta that had swelled up and pushed the lid half off. “Are you expecting a dozen other people?”

Max shrugged innocently. “I didn’t know how much to put in.”

“Well the good news is the top half is edible,” you stated after finding a colander and draining the pasta until only a thick layer remained stuck to the bottom of the pot. “Do you have any sauce?”

“Sauce?”

“What were you going to have with it?”

“Garlic bread.” You both looked at the charred sticks still smoking on the baking tray.

“Do you mind?” you asked as you pointed to his fridge and the cupboards around the kitchen.

“No, please. Go ahead.”

You checked the fridge first and you were pleasantly surprised to find it well stocked with fresh fruit and vegetables. “Do you live off salads or does all this go to waste?”

“Neither, my nutritionist comes by twice a week and he prepares the meals.”

For a moment you had forgotten his profession. You had googled his name after Timothée couldn’t stop talking about meeting the ‘Max Verstappen’. “That must be intense, and restricting. Does your social life suffer?”

“It’s not so bad. I still get to go out for dinner and have a few drinks when I want.” He started to pull his hand out from under the water but you tutted and caught his wrist, holding it back beneath the cold stream.

“Keep still,” you warned with a voice you saved for children who weren’t listening. “It needs 20 minutes under there.”

“You want me to stand here for twenty minutes?”

“No, science wants you to stay there for twenty minutes.”

“Are you a teacher or a nurse?” he asked with a playful roll of his eyes.

“Depends if it's halloween.”

His loud laugh made you smile and you eased your grip on his hand one finger at a time to see if he would stay where he was. He did. “I’ll behave, Miss Y/L/N.”

“You can call me Y//N.”

“I kind of like calling you Miss Y/L/N.”

You checked to see if he was serious but thankfully there was a teasing smile on his face before you returned to the fridge to gather some ingredients.

By some small miracle dinner can’t have been too bad since everyone cleaned their plates of the pasta, though you thought they were likely being polite since you could still taste the hint of smoke from the bottom of the pan. Penelope had spent most of the meal asking Max if he remembered what they used to do when she lived there, how they used to go travelling and shopping. You got to see first hand how much patience the man had as he answered each question despite how it made him uncomfortable.

“You miss her,” you commented after she had gone back to the tv. Max started to collect the dishes with you and sighed as he placed them in the sink. 

“It was a big change when they moved out,” he spoke quietly and you stepped closer so you could hear better. “She kept asking if she did something wrong.”

“That must have been hard for you.” His eyes widened and you wondered what shocked him, but you had a feeling it was the fact someone showed concern for him. Even though you didn’t know the details of the break up, it was clear he had and still did care for Penelope and you felt sorry for him. “Can I hug you? I’m a hugger and I feel like you could really do with one.”

“You want to hug me?”

You tried to shrug it off casually. “If you want to. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Everyone needs a hug sometime.”

“I do,” he said quickly, very quickly, before he cleared his throat. “I mean, I-I wouldn’t mind a hug.”

You smiled at his tentativeness and stepped into his personal space, slipping your hands into the narrow openings between his limp arms and his body to curl around his waist. It took a moment for him to respond before his own arms embraced the comfort and curled around your back too.

“You smell really good, Max,” you complimented as you rested your head on his chest and caught the scent of his cologne.

“Thank you,” he chuckled, the amusement relaxing him even more until his entire body curved into yours. “I think you have playdough in your hair.”

You hummed in agreement. “Highly likely. You wouldn’t believe the places I find that stuff at the end of the day, glitter too.”

His bold laugh made you smile and you didn’t care it was at your own expense, you were just happy to know it was because of you. Unfortunately you didn’t have the chance to hear it again as his phone rang from the countertop and you saw Kelly’s name light up the screen.

“I should let you get that,” you said as you stepped back, instantly missing the warmth and his scent. “I’ll go keep Penelope company.”

Max waited for you to leave the kitchen before he accepted the call, his calm state evaporating in an instant. “What the hell, Kelly? Where have you been?”

“My phone was on flight mode, I was on a plane. Is P okay?”

“Her wrist is sprained but she’s alright now.” Max pinched the bridge of his nose and reminded himself to breathe. “Why would you leave her alone?”

“She wasn’t alone. Maria was meant to pick her up after school and I should have been home in time for dinner but my flight was delayed.”

“Who is Maria?”

“Her nanny.”

Max had to suppress the groan at the news. He knew Daniil hated the idea of a nanny and he had offered to have more custody so that P would be raised by her parents and not a stranger, but Kelly had vetoed that idea.

“Do you want to go out for dinner? I owe you.”

“No, we’ve already eaten.”

“Some other time then.”

Max made a non-committal sound, his eyes darting to the living room where he watched Penelope explain the movie to you. You were so attentive and patient, asking questions that had Penelope thinking deeper and using such a simple interaction as a learning opportunity. He could see why you suited being a teacher.

“Maybe,” he lied, “just let me know when you’re almost here and I’ll bring P out to you, I don’t want to confuse her any more.”

“Right, of course,” Kelly sighed. “I’ll see you soon, Max.”

Max made the most of the time he had left with P, abandoning the dishes so he could sit on the other side of her and watch the movie about a chef rat. She had cozied into his side with a yawn and nudged his arm until he eventually draped it over her shoulder. It was completely innocent but you couldn’t help noticing the heat of his hand touching your arm, the warmth spreading like wildfire.

The fire was doused when his phone vibrated and the moment to leave had come.

While he grabbed Penelope’s backpack, you grabbed your handbag and prepared your own goodbyes. It was silly to feel sad the evening had come to an end but you knew that you would likely never see Max again. You weren’t famous and he didn’t have children, your paths weren’t meant to cross.

“Have a good weekend, Penelope,” you said as you knelt down and gave her a hug. “I’ll see you bright and early on Monday.”

“Bye, Miss Y/L/N.”

You rose to your feet wondering where you stood with Max until he opened his arms. “Anytime you need a hug, you have my number,” you offered as you stepped into his embrace, no matter how unlikely that prospect was.

“Or if I’m feeling fine?”

You giggled and nodded against his chest. “Especially if you’re feeling fine.”

The walk to the elevator was slow, as if no one wanted the strange evening to end, but there was no stopping time as it began making its way down from the penthouse to the ground floor. The doors opened and you instantly spotted Kelly in the reception area, her elegant and effortless beauty reminding you that you still had playdough in your hair.

With one last look at the man beside you, you gave him a small smile and stepped away. “Goodbye, Max.”

He didn’t respond as you headed to the valet area but he pulled his phone out of his pocket and yours vibrated a moment later.

Max: Are you okay?

Y/N: I’m fine.

Max: Me too. Emotional, you?

Y/N: Insecure.

Max: Want a hug?

You stopped and turned to see Max hand Penelope’s bag over before struggling to separate the girl from where she clung to his leg. She didn’t know, couldn’t see how it was hurting Max, but you could. So you waited, and when the mother and daughter had departed you stepped into the elevator with the subdued man, slipping your hand into his.

The elevator rose quickly and you watched Max’s throat bounce with the deep swallow he made before he choked out a broken, “Fuck.”

“I feel like I should remind you about the swear jar,” you teased as you bumped your shoulder gently against his arm. “But I’ll let you off this once because I have a soft spot for you.”

He looked down at you from the corner of his eye and you saw some of the sadness fading from them. “Does that make me the teacher's pet?”

You gasped dramatically and clutched your chest with your free hand. “I could never bestow such high praise after just one day.”

“What are your plans tomorrow then?” he asked with a smirk as the doors opened and he pulled his house key out of his pocket.

“I don’t have any.”

“Lovely, now are you going to answer my question?” He stepped inside the apartment and opened his arms. “Did you want a hug?”

Your smile chased away more of the shadows in his eyes and the last of it was erased when you stepped into his arms with an eager nod. “I will never say no to a hug.”

His chest bounced with a laugh and you felt him rest his cheek on your head with a contented sigh. “That is very good to know.”

[myth1cs]

Deal of Lust (Im Nayeon x M!Reader)

Remastered version of my first smut because it SUCKS. (I'll give Nayeon a new smut ... eventually ... maybe)

Word Count: 1,309

Walking into school you walked around with caution making sure you didn't bump into a certain someone.

You were almost to your first period class but before you reached it you were grabbed and brought into an empty classroom.

"If I didn't know any better I'd think you were trying to avoid me."

"What no, I'm just really tired."

"Mhm, Anyways Y/N I trust you did my pre-calculus work."

"Actually I was studying for my exam last night so I wasn't able to finish it."

"You piece of shit!"

Nayeon smacked you and you fell to the floor. She grabbed you by your hair and lifted your head up.

"It's due today. Since you didn't finish it your going to pay."

Nayeon was about to hit you and you raised your hand in order to block her punch but before she hit you the sound of the doorknob twisting made Nayeon let go of you.

"Is there someone in here?"

The person who stepped through the door was the president of student council Park Jihyo.

"Oh Y/N you're so clumsy you have to stop falling down." Nayeon started caressing your face and helped you stand up.

"What are you guys doing in here?"

"Me and Y/N wanted to study on our own so we came in here. We were just about to leave but Y/N tripped and fell to the floor."

"Is this true Y/N."

You looked at Jihyo wanting to tell the truth but when you turned to look at Nayeon she gave you a "I'll kill you if you tell her." look.

"Yeah, I fell down I'm kinda clumsy like that."

"Okay well you guys can't be in a classroom without a teacher present so I'm advising you guys to go to the library if you want to study."

"Understood president Park, it won't happen again. Right Y/N?"

"R-right."

Once you all left the room Nayeon waited for Jihyo to be out of sight before she spoke to you.

"You're lucky she came in when she did. Have my homework done by 5th period or you'll regret it, got that?"

"Yes Nayeon."

She turned around and walked to her first period class leaving you in the hallway.

"Damn it why do I let myself get pushed around by her?"

Im Nayeon was the popular girl in school. Even saying that is an understatement she is what many saw as the person every student should aspire to be like. However you're the only one who knows the "real" Nayeon.

Once she realized you were the highest performing in school she started bullying you into doing her work and giving her test answers. She used the threat of beating your ass to keep you in check.

Reporting her would do nothing as everyone including staff had a false view of her and wouldn't take you seriously so you never bothered to do so.

You really wanted to finish her homework to avoid being punished but you were busy in every class. 1st period you had the exam you were studying for last night, 2nd period you had to work on a lab, 3rd period you were working on a project, and 4th period you had to help your art teacher set up for an after school event in the gym.

As the bell for fifth period came you tried to get to your class as fast as possible before Nayeon could find you. You settled for the longer path to your class assuming that Nayeon would assume you would take the shorter path to get to your class quicker.

However you didn't anticipate that she would correctly guess your actions and you saw her standing in the hallway as you turned the corner. "Oh shit!"

You tried turning around to run but before you could Nayeon grabbed you and brought you into the janitors closet.

"Where's my homework loser?"

"I don't have it!"

"Is that so? You know what happens now."

"No wait Nayeon please I'll do anything! Just please don't hit me."

"Anything I want?"

"Yes! Anything, just please don't hit me."

Nayeon grabbed your chin and made you face her. Laying your eyes on her you felt as if her demeanor changed from the one that was present just a moment earlier.

"You know Y/N there is one way you could make it up to me."

She put her fingers on the waistband of her pants and pulled her pants down.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

Once her pants were all the way down you noticed her pink pantie she was wearing but quickly averted your eyes.

"What's wrong Y/N? Do you not like what you see?"

You were unable to say to get words out of your mouth but eventually you were able to muster out a sentence "Please put your clothes back on."

"Don't be such a baby Y/N. Now look at me or I'll punish you."

Turning around to look at Nayeon you tried your best to focus on her face but you couldn't help yourself from trying to get a quick glance at her pantie.

"Go on Y/N stare at my clothed pussy." She put her finger inside her pantie and started to finger herself.

You watched her finger herself and felt your cock grow.

"Y/N if you fuck my pussy everyday then I'll stop bullying you."

"R-really?" You were surprised that her compromise was really lewd.

"Is that a yes or should I beat your face in now?"

Well who were you to deny her?

Walking up to Nayeon you pushed her to the wall and lowered yourself so you were facing her pantie.

"Go on give yourself a better view Y/N."

Putting your fingers on her pantie and dragging it down you got a clear view of Nayeon's wet pussy. Without hesitation you inserted your tongue into her pussy. She let out loud moans but covered her mouth quickly as to not draw attention to the closet both of you were in.

"Gah ~ ah ~ ah"

Hearing the noises coming from her made you want to go faster. You lapped every single inch of her pussy you could get your tongue on.

Nayeon took her shirt off and made quick work of her bra. Her breasts were now out in full display. She started to pinch and twist her nipples for further stimulation.

Pulling out of her sweet pussy you went up and kissed her letting her get a taste of herself. "Mhm ~ you're such a good kisser Y/N."

You reached for her pussy with your fingers and fingered Nayeon. She moaned into your mouth and you decided to explore her mouth with your tongue.

Nayeon felt overstimulated from everything she was experiencing and ended up cumming all over your fingers. So much cum came out that some dripped onto the floor.

"Agh ~ Y/N ... so ... good."

You licked the fluid she sprayed on your fingers: licking every last drop. "Do I taste good Y/N?"

"Yes Nayeon you taste amazing."

"Lucky for you you'll be able to taste this every day."

....

"Should we leave?"

"Probably not school staff is likely roaming the hallways looking for us since we haven't reported to our fifth period."

"So what now Nayeon?"

"We could just fuck until sixth period."

No words needed to be exchanged for her to know that you wanted to take her up on that offer.

The janitors closet was once again filled with moans for the rest of the period.

...

Jihyo was making her way to the bathroom and was passing by the janitors closet when she heard a moan. It was low but loud enough for her to hear.

She slowly crept towards it and laid on the floor to look inside from the crack under the door.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I prefer this over what I wrote originally. I'd like to think I've improved since I started writing and hopefully that continues.

[srslyblvck]

daddy issues, tony stark [ part II ] [requested]

pairing: tony stark x daughter!reader

synopsis: tony might've been a great superhero but he wasn't a great father.

genre: angst

word count: 2.9k

Part I

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ YOU HELD THE INVITATION out to him, hands trembling slightly with excitement. “It’s this Saturday,” you said, voice soft but eager. “It’s a science fair, and I’ve been working really hard on this project. I thought… maybe you’d like to come?”

Tony barely looked up, the usual hum of his holographic screens reflecting in his tired eyes. But then he caught sight of the hope in your gaze, and he finally nodded, taking the invitation with a small smile. “Yeah, sure, kiddo,” he said. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

That simple promise was enough for you. Every evening that week, you stayed up late perfecting each part of the project, tweaking every detail. You didn’t want to win the science fair; you just wanted Tony to see it, to see you, and to feel proud.

When Saturday arrived, you were nervous but excited. You set up your stall carefully, double-checking each piece of the project display, hoping it would be something that would catch his eye. As people wandered through the fair, they stopped by your booth, impressed by the level of detail and precision in your work.

But every time you scanned the crowd, you didn’t see him. Your heart sank as parents, teachers, and students came and went, praising your project. The minutes slipped by, and the fair began to wind down. The chair beside you remained empty.

Finally, the awards were announced. They called your name, and a polite round of applause filled the room as you accepted the medal and certificate, trying to smile as people congratulated you. You told yourself it didn’t matter. It was just another award, another paper. But deep down, you felt the disappointment settle like a weight in your chest. You didn’t want the medal—you wanted him to be there, even just to see you in the crowd.

Later that night, Tony stepped out of his workshop, exhausted but satisfied with his work. He made his way to the kitchen, grabbing a drink and mindlessly sipping when his gaze fell on something bright and familiar—the invitation you’d given him, stuck to the fridge door.

The words “Science Fair” stood out in big, hopeful letters.

He froze, feeling his stomach twist with guilt as he read the details: Saturday, 2 PM. It was hours past now. He’d missed it. And you’d been waiting, hoping he’d show.

“Damn it,” he muttered under his breath, setting his glass down hard enough to make the ice clink. Panic flickered in his chest as he wondered if he could still make it. He’d go, tell you he was sorry, anything to make up for it. He was about to leave when he heard footsteps behind him.

“Tony,” Natasha’s voice was low but carried a weight of disappointment. She stood at the kitchen entrance, her arms crossed as she looked at him with a quiet, disappointed frown. “I picked her up an hour ago.”

Her words hit him harder than he’d expected, and his shoulders sagged. He had missed it, and not just by a few minutes. He’d missed you showing your project, your moment, everything.

Without another word, he made his way to your room, heart heavy with regret. He stopped in front of your door, hesitating. A soft knock, and he waited. When no response came, he opened the door quietly, stepping inside.

The sight made his chest tighten. You were asleep on the floor, curled up against the bed, your cheeks stained with dried tears. Next to you, the medal and certificate were tossed aside, the project itself lying on its side, carelessly left where you must’ve dropped it. His heart clenched seeing the once carefully crafted project in pieces, as if it were something you no longer cared about, just like you must have felt he didn’t care.

Tony crouched down, lifting the project gently and turning it over in his hands. His eyes widened as he realized what you’d been working on—an arc reactor prototype, similar to his own designs, with an ingenious twist on the core structure. It was something he’d been experimenting with in his own work, but you’d done it independently. Quietly. He could see the hours you’d poured into it, the dedication in every small piece.

His gaze shifted to the medal and certificate, his thumb brushing over the engraved words: First Place, Science Fair.

He picked up the project, medal, and certificate, gently placing them on your desk, handling them with the care you’d given them in the first place. After a moment’s thought, he walked down the hall to the room where his collection of awards and trophies sat, things he’d earned and displayed with pride. He added your certificate and medal to the shelf among them, a quiet acknowledgment of your accomplishment, and of the pride he should’ve shown you himself.

Returning to your room, he leaned down and carefully gathered you in his arms, lifting you from the floor. You shifted slightly in his hold, but you didn’t wake. He gently placed you on your bed, pulling a blanket over you and brushing a few strands of hair from your face. Leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “I’m so, so sorry, kiddo.”

He pulled back, watching you with a mix of regret and sadness. You deserved a father who showed up, a father who was there to tell you how proud he was. He’d promised you once before, and he’d broken that promise again. But seeing the tear stains on your cheeks and the way you’d fallen asleep waiting, he vowed, right then and there, to make things right.

After the science fair, something inside you changed. You had spent years hoping, wishing for Tony’s attention, his presence. But that day, sitting alone as he’d failed to show up yet again, you felt something break. Maybe it was the last piece of hope you’d held onto, or maybe it was the realization that you couldn’t keep waiting for him.

The disappointment was too much, and you decided you were done.

From that day on, you stopped seeking him out, stopped waiting for the promises he never kept. You didn’t make him coffee in the mornings, didn’t check if he’d eaten. You stopped wandering into his lab, hoping he might turn around and finally see you. Instead, you kept to yourself, focusing on school, friends, and the occasional training session with the Avengers. When you did cross paths with Tony, you barely said a word, nodding politely before walking away.

At first, Tony didn’t notice, assuming you were just busy. But after a few days, he realized that he hadn’t seen you come by the workshop. You hadn’t shown up with coffee, hadn’t peeked into his lab to see what he was working on. He started to notice the quiet absence of your presence, the hollow ache that settled in his chest when he realized that you were no longer there, waiting for him.

He began trying to find ways to pull you back. He left notes on your door, asking if you wanted to join him for a quick meal, but you didn’t respond. He tried to catch you before school, only to find you’d already left early. Once or twice, he even came into the kitchen to find you already grabbing your things to head out, barely looking his way as you passed him.

The tables had turned, and now he was the one chasing your attention. And each time you walked past him, it was a reminder of the countless times he’d done the same to you.

Tony tried harder, desperate to reach you. He’d show up at your school events unannounced, hovering at the back of the room, hoping to catch you. When he did manage to see you, he’d smile, wave, but you’d turn away before he could approach.

One day, he waited for you in the kitchen after school, hoping you’d talk to him. “Hey, kid,” he greeted, trying to keep his tone casual.

You barely nodded, giving him a half-hearted wave before turning away, as if he were just another face in the tower.

The realization stung—he was a stranger to you now, a shadow in the very place he’d thought he’d always be the brightest.

You’d always had a habit of fussing over Tony before missions, even though he brushed it off with a laugh or a smirk every time. You’d run over to him, throwing your arms around him in a quick hug, muttering a soft “Be safe. Don’t do anything stupid, okay?” It was something he’d come to expect—a ritual, in a way. But this time, as he and the Avengers prepared to head out, you were nowhere near him.

He waited, lingering by the Quinjet, scanning the hallways for you. The other Avengers gave him a curious glance, noticing his rare display of hesitation.

But you didn’t come to him. You were busy talking to Steve, listening to Natasha’s quick pointers on handling herself if anything went wrong in the tower, and as you stood there, you didn’t even glance his way.

Tony tried to brush off the pang of disappointment that settled in his chest. It was strange, seeing you so distant, so unaffected as if he was just another face in the tower. He had known you’d started pulling away, but this—this was different. He’d started to miss you in a way he hadn’t anticipated, and the absence of your hug and your quiet words lingered with him as the Quinjet door closed, and they headed off to the mission.

Hours passed, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Normally, you’d distract yourself while they were away, maybe even work on a project in the workshop or catch up on schoolwork. But today, that feeling of unease was stronger than ever, gnawing at you with a persistence you couldn’t ignore.

You paced the hallways, glancing at the clock every few minutes. The quiet tower felt unbearably heavy, each minute stretching on endlessly. And then, finally, the faint roar of the Quinjet’s engines filled the air, signaling their return.

You hurried down to the landing bay, expecting to see Tony strutting out, cracking some half-baked joke about the mission, brushing off any bruises like they were nothing.

But as the jet doors opened, your heart plummeted.

The first figure to emerge was Steve, his face drawn with worry. And behind him, there was Tony—lying still on a stretcher, his armor dented, his face pale, and his shirt soaked through with blood.

“Dad!” you screamed, running over as the medics began wheeling him out. You reached for his hand, gripping it tightly as you matched the pace of the stretcher. “Dad, can you hear me?”

Hearing your voice, Tony’s eyes flickered open, and he gave you a faint, almost dazed smile, his lips twitching up as if this were all just another routine day. “Hey, kiddo,” he murmured, his voice barely a whisper.

You felt tears welling up in your eyes, his usual grin so painfully out of place as blood seeped through his clothes. He looked like he was moments from passing out, yet here he was, trying to smile at you as if he weren’t literally dying.

Dr. Cho appeared at that moment, taking control as she and the med team rushed him toward the med bay. You clung to his hand, following until Dr. Cho gently but firmly urged you to let go so they could begin.

Your grip slipped reluctantly, your hand falling back to your side as they wheeled him away. You felt helpless, watching as they disappeared through the doors, the weight of everything settling heavily on your chest. Had he been injured because he’d been waiting for you to say goodbye? Was it your fault for not showing him you still cared?

You sank against the wall outside the med bay, waiting, your heart pounding as guilt and worry tangled together. You could barely breathe, the fear settling into your bones as the minutes stretched into hours.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Dr. Cho came out, a tired but gentle smile on her face.

“He’s stable,” she said, her voice reassuring. “The wound was deep, but we managed to stop the bleeding. He’ll need rest and shouldn’t move around much, but he’s going to be okay.”

Relief flooded through you, a weight lifting off your chest as you let out a shaky breath. You thanked her, your voice choked with emotion as you entered the med bay, your eyes immediately finding Tony’s sleeping form.

He looked peaceful, a rare stillness on his face as he rested. You pulled a chair close to the bed, sitting down and taking his hand in yours, your fingers brushing over the cuts and bruises along his knuckles. You stared at his hand, a lump forming in your throat as everything you’d been bottling up began to spill over.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, barely audible, as you traced the faint lines of scars on his hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye.”

Tears pricked at your eyes as the realization sank in, the guilt pressing down on you like a heavy weight. You hadn’t been there, hadn’t told him to be safe, and the thought that he’d gone into danger without knowing you cared made your heart ache.

From that moment, you didn’t leave his side, staying by his bed for days, watching over him, holding his hand, making sure he knew you were there. The other Avengers came by, offering words of comfort, but you couldn’t bring yourself to leave unless it was absolutely necessary.

Days passed, and one morning, as you sat by his bed, your head resting on your arms, exhaustion finally caught up with you. You’d fallen asleep, Tony’s hand still cradled in yours as you dozed off at his bedside.

When Tony stirred awake, blinking blearily at the room around him, he felt a warmth against his hand. Glancing over, he saw you, your head resting on the edge of the bed, your eyes closed, your grip on his hand firm even in sleep. A small, tired smile spread across his face as he took in the sight of you, his chest tightening with a mix of relief and gratitude.

Dr. Cho entered quietly, offering him a knowing smile as she did her routine check. “She’s barely left your side,” she whispered, nodding toward you. “You’re lucky to have her.”

Tony’s gaze softened, his smile lingering as he looked at you, memories of the past few weeks flashing through his mind. When Dr. Cho finished and quietly left, he shifted slightly, trying to move without disturbing you. But the small movement was enough to make you stir, your eyes fluttering open as you lifted your head, immediately reaching out to steady him.

“Hey, careful,” you murmured, your voice thick with sleep. “Don’t move too much. Dr. Cho said you need rest.”

Tony chuckled softly, his voice weak but filled with warmth. “Guess I’m not used to lying around doing nothing,” he replied, squeezing your hand gently

You frowned at him, though your expression softened with relief. “Are you in pain? Do you need anything? Water? Or maybe some food? Can’t get you alcohol, obviously…”

You rambled on, the questions pouring out in rapid succession, not giving him a chance to respond. “How are you feeling now? Do you want me to—”

“Whoa, slow down,” Tony interrupted with a soft laugh, his eyes glimmering with amusement. “I’m fine, kid. Really. You don’t have to worry.”

You let out a shaky breath, the weight of everything you’d been holding in finally pressing down on you. Silence settled between you, thick with unspoken words and lingering emotions, until finally, both of you spoke at the same time.

“I’m sorry.”

Tony looked at you, his brow furrowing with confusion. “Why are you sorry?” he asked gently. “I’m the one who’s messed up, not you.”

You shook your head, your gaze falling as you fiddled with the edge of the bed sheet. “I should’ve said goodbye, like I always do. I was upset, and I thought… maybe if I didn’t care, it wouldn’t hurt so much. But I do care, and I’m sorry I let my pride get in the way.”

Tony’s hand tightened around yours, his expression softening as he watched you. “Hey, listen to me,” he said, his voice firm but tender. “This is on me. I know I’ve let you down, more times than I can count. And I know I haven’t been the dad you deserve. But I’m here now, and I’m… I’m done screwing this up.”

He looked at you, his gaze steady, a rare sincerity in his eyes. “I know it’s going to take time to fix things, but I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I’m going to be there for you. I swear it.”

You blinked, tears welling up in your eyes as his words sank in, the honesty and determination in his voice breaking down the walls you’d built around yourself. You reached out, gripping his hand tightly, the weight of all the years of waiting and hoping finally easing.

“Just… show up, okay?” you whispered, a tear slipping down your cheek as you held his gaze. “That’s all I need.”

He nodded, a small, heartfelt smile on his face as he leaned back, squeezing your hand. “Then consider it done, kiddo.”

And in that moment, surrounded by the quiet hum of the medbay and the warmth of his hand in yours, you allowed yourself to believe him, feeling a glimmer of hope

[ckret2]

Hi! I don't remember if anyone asked this, but do you have any headcanons about Shermie Pines?

Sure, here's the big one.

I've decided to resolve the "if he's the baby then Mabel & Dipper are the product of two generations of 15-year-old parents; if he's older than Stan & Ford and maybe already out of the house then where is he and who's the baby?" problem the most ridiculous way possible:

He IS the baby, but he grew 20 years in 10 years.

I don't mean he's a 10-year-old that looks 20, i mean that for every year he existed, he experienced two years of life. Like at the start of September he entered 1st grade and at the end of next May he exited 2nd grade, and nobody knows how, he didn't jump up a grade during winter break or something, everyone around him clearly remembers him going through nine months of school and then summer break and then another nine months of school, his first and second grade teachers both remember teaching him for a whole school year, but it happened within one year.

Nobody else is affected; they all remember experiencing two years of life with Shermie, but they didn't age two years too. Just him. No one can explain it. It's the darnedest thing.

"But how did this happen." Time magic. "What caused it?" Magic. "Did he experience every year twice?" No just once; the year was twice as long for him. "Then how did he experience two school years instead of one double length school year?" Magic. "How does that even work???" I'm not an expert on time magic.

Caryn told Ford about it, but he was busy with more PhD programs than any human should ever endure and assumed it was some kind of hyperbolic lie to communicate how fast it feels like Shermie's growing, so she's going "this sounds like one of your strange anomalous things you study, isn't this one of those things you study?" and he's like "uh huh that's great mom."

Stan, of course, didn't hear any of this, so the first he learns of it is during a reluctant family reunion soon after he takes over Ford's life and Caryn's like "and over there's your brother Shermie and his wife, I don't know if you've seen him since your master's degree, try to talk to them won't you?" and Stan goes "Shermie?? Isn't he supposed to be twelve, why's he look like a MAN? Whaddaya mean wife??? Is she pregnant????" and Caryn went "😏 I KNEW you were never listening on the phone."

Shermie gradually stopped experiencing life on double time and slowed down to age normally around his mid twenties (well, mid twenties from his perspective; around 13 according to his birth certificate). Filbrick and Caryn sort of agreed that getting married must have helped him "settle down" and they don't really question it.

Ford gets to learn this several hours after he gets home when he finally gets a break long enough to put two and two together and goes "wait, SHERMIE'S grandkids?? But he's barely in his forties, how does he have 12-year-old grandkids" and Stan tells him and Ford goes "You mean Mom was telling the truth?!"

That fall while Shermie's yelling "WHADDAYA MEAN YOU SWITCHED PLACES AND FELL INTO A SPACE PORTAL" Ford's yelling back "CAN I CARBON DATE YOUR FACE"

[takeyrregrets]

Okay!! Another idea!! How about a grumpy selectively mute reader, who underwent some trauma (you can choose what it is or just leave the cause out of the story) with a class clown who has a crush on the reader and constantly tries to make him loosen up and laugh or even speak, sometimes even “jokingly” flirting (he just says it was a joke and everyone believes it because 1. He would joke about something like that, 2. His flirting is awful)

-🦭

𝗡𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗖𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗖𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘅 𝗠𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝗠𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 Technically reader is selectively mute in this but I don't have him saying anything in this to give that away, I think its important to mention though :)

People don’t really get it.

They think you’re stuck up. Or weird. Or just kind of a jerk You don’t talk. Not in class, not in the halls, not even when teachers try to make you. They gave up on that, eventually. Said something about accommodations and trauma and “giving space.” God they make you sound stupid

You’ve stopped caring. Mostly. You learned a long time ago that your voice isn’t something people wait for. When you try, it feels like walking through sludge, like your throat isn’t wired right. So you don’t try anymore.

And no one tries with you.

Well—almost no one.

He does.

He’s… exhausting. The class clown. The human migraine. The guy who’s made it his personal mission to get a smile out of you—bonus points if he ever gets a laugh. (he doesn't.) He tries everything. Terrible puns. Dramatic reenactments of what he thought was going on in your head. "Oh myy goshhh, he's just sooo funny and cute! I want him to be my boyfriend soooo bad!" "..." Once, he fell out of his chair even, just to see if you’d react. You didn’t. But you did watch him walk back to his desk with a red face and a bruised tailbone, and maybe your lip twitched. Just a little.. And he flirts. Or, well—jokingly flirts. Tries to... Constantly... “You look like the kind of guy who listens to rain sounds and stares out the window thinking about death,” he says one day, nudging your arm. “Wanna think about it together sometime?”

You stare at him.

He throws his hands up. “I’m just kidding, jeez. Unless… I mean—kidding. Obviously..." And constantly...

"Did it hurt?" he asks, sliding into the seat beside you at lunch like he always belonged there.

You give him a blank look.

"When you fell from heaven," he says proudly, like he knows it’s awful and wants you to suffer for it.

You stare harder.

He clutches his chest. “Cold. Ice cold. You wound me.” Anddd constantly...

"Y'know," he says one day, flopping into the seat next to you during free period, "if you ever decided to say something, I bet it’d be the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard."

You glance at him with a twitch of a smile that just as quickly as it appeared, disappeared He lights up excitedly, that’s the best reaction he’s gotten all week.

A few kids nearby laugh. Of course they do. He always flirts like this. With everyone.

But... he doesn’t bring everyone little folded paper cranes with dumb jokes written inside.

He doesn’t sit quietly next to everyone when they look overwhelmed.

He doesn’t look at everyone the way he looks at you—like you’re some kind of riddle he’s determined to understand.

You want to tell him to stop. You want to tell him don’t stop. You want to say thank you.

But you won't, can't. So instead. when the next day comes around and he walks up to you with a big grin, as if he knows he's about to tell the worst joke of the century. You pull out your notebook and scrawl one word in the corner of the page he’s pretending not to peek at.

“Hi.”

He reads it. Blinks. Then he grins somehow even wider it looks like it hurts, but he looks completely whole

“Hey,” he whispers, like it’s the start of something.

Maybe it is.

[kazmura]

‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ badboy!niki x fem, 1.1k, est relationship kinda angsty to fluff, ‎‎‎ when getting punched in the face is the only way to stop ur boyfriends heated fight

› duck boy collection

Fights were a common occurrence at your school. Fortunately, you had never witnessed one yourself. Your friends would relay the gory details. It would always start with two students bickering aggressively until one of them finally throws a punch. From there, it turned into an all-out war, with students crowding and pushing each other to capture videos of the chaos. It would only end when a teacher finally stepped in, prompting everyone to scatter, not wanting to get in trouble.

Walking out by the side of the school, the sounds of students yelling and loud grunts caught your attention. Students crowded around each other to form a circle, cameras held high in the air trying to capture the scene. You had definitely missed phase one, and you sure weren’t sticking around for the rest. But as you turned to walk away, your heart stopped at the sound of a familiar voice coming from the direction of the circle.

Your boyfriend had never been much of a fighter. Though he sometimes came across as cold, you knew him as sweet and gentle, someone who avoided conflict whenever he could. The sight of him now, standing in the center of the chaos, fists clenched, made you immediately worry. What could have pushed him to this point? Your stomach twisted as you debated whether to step in or call for help. The crowd roared as the tension between the two boys escalated, but all you could focus on was the look in his eyes, one you’d never seen before. His face was littered with small cuts, and his lip was swollen, likely from a hard punch. Determined, you began pushing your way through the crowd, ignoring the protests and shoves from students more interested in capturing the fight on their phones than stopping it.

“Move!” you shouted, your voice sharp with urgency. The closer you got, the clearer the scene became, his opponent, equally battered, was gearing up for another strike. Without thinking, you stepped into the circle, placing yourself between them. Before you could react, a sudden force hit the side of your face, a wild swing meant for your boyfriend but landing squarely on you instead. Pain exploded through your jaw as you stumbled back, the world tilting for a moment. Niki's eyes widened in horror as he caught you before you fell, his hands trembling as he held you.

“yn!” he exclaimed, his voice cracking with panic. The fight immediately lost its fire. His opponent froze, guilt flickering across his face, while the students around you began murmuring. The circle quickly dissolved as the reality of what had just happened set in.

Niki gently helped you to your feet, his hands shaking as he steadied you. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice full of concern, his anger completely replaced by worry.

“I’m fine,” you mumbled, though the throbbing pain in your jaw said otherwise. You glanced around at the scattering crowd, some students still lingering, their phones lowered but still recording.

“Let’s get out of here,” he said softly, his arm slipping protectively around you.

-

The nurse’s office was quiet except for the soft sound of Niki’s movements as he tended to your face. His hands were gentle as he carefully wiped away the blood from your lip, his brows furrowed in concentration. You sat silently on the examination table, your arms crossed tightly, giving him the cold shoulder.

“I’m really sorry,” he murmured, his voice thick with regret. You didn’t respond, keeping your gaze fixed on the floor, the silence between you both growing heavier.

He let out a soft sigh, continuing to work with the supplies in front of him. “I didn’t mean for any of that to happen. I never wanted you to get hurt.”

You bit your lip, the anger still simmering inside you. Whatever it was, he should’ve never let it escalate this far.

Niki paused, glancing at you with a quiet plea in his eyes. “Please talk to me,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t stand this silence.”

“Why did you fight?”

His hands paused for a moment, then he sighed deeply, his eyes not meeting yours. “They were saying horrible things about you,” he admitted quietly. “I couldn’t just let them talk like that about the person I care about.”

You felt a pang in your chest, but the anger still clouded your judgment. “I don’t care what they say,” you replied firmly, turning your head to finally meet his gaze. “I just want you to be safe. I don’t want you to get hurt for me.”

His expression softened, and he set the medical supplies down, his hands now resting on his knees. He looked at you, his eyes filled with a mix of guilt and understanding. "I promise," he said softly. "I’ll never do it again. I just didn’t know what else to do. I couldn't stand them talking about you like that."

Leaning forward from your spot on the nurse's bed, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight embrace. He instinctively wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you close as you both stood there, the tension between you slowly melting away.

"I just want you safe," you whispered against his shoulder, feeling his breath hitch as he held you a little tighter.

"I know," he murmured, his voice soft. "I’ll never let anything happen to you."

You pulled back slightly to look at him, your hands still resting on his shoulders. His eyes were full of sincerity, and for the first time since the fight, you felt your heart calm. "I trust you," you said, your voice quieter now. "Just please, no more fighting, okay?"

He nodded, his gaze never leaving yours. "No more fighting," he repeated firmly. "I promise."

You smiled faintly, then leaned up to kiss him gently. The soft contact between your lips lingered for a moment before it deepened, the kiss growing more intense as your hands found their way to his hair. His grip around your waist tightened, pulling you even closer, and you could feel his heart beating just as fast as yours. When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other.

"I mean it," you whispered, still holding him close. "No more fighting."

He nodded, his lips brushing against yours once more. "I promise," he said softly, his voice thick with emotion. "I’ll do anything for you."

pulling this one out the drafts, its lowk iffy bu this is the start of my blog revampp 💓💓

© kazmura, all rights reserved‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ @kflixnet

[sturnsblogs]

THATS MY GIRL

Loser!Matt X Popular!Reader

—

Matt had heard it a few times already. Whispers from friends, quiet mentions in passing, warnings he didn’t ask for.

“Noah’s been talking shit.”

“He said you’ve been treating Y/N like crap.”

“He’s telling people she deserves better.”

At first, Matt brushed it off. Let people talk. Let Noah talk. He didn’t care. Words were just words — until they weren’t.

He was walking down the hallway after fourth period, heading to his locker when he heard it. Heard him.

Noah was standing just around the corner with two guys from the soccer team, loud enough to be heard, probably on purpose.

“Yeah, I heard he’s been a complete dick to Y/N,” Noah said with a smug little laugh. “Like—switches up on her all the time, can’t make up his mind, playing all these games. Guy’s a walking red flag.”

Matt stopped. Jaw clenched. He didn’t move yet, just stood still, listening, blood starting to heat behind his ears.

“And she still sticks around, man. Like, what the hell is wrong with her? Girl’s either obsessed or just that desperate for attention.”

The guys laughed, but Matt wasn’t frozen anymore.

He turned the corner slowly.

Noah didn’t even look surprised when he saw him.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Matt’s voice was low, sharp.

Noah just smirked. “Relax, bro. Just stating facts. Everyone sees it. You treat her like shit and still expect her to crawl back? Kinda pathetic, honestly.”

Matt’s chest rose and fell faster now. He stepped forward.

“You don’t know a fucking thing about us.”

“I know enough,” Noah said, stepping in too. “I know she cries over you. I know she tells me everything. I know she’s better off without you and deep down—” he leaned in, voice venomous, “—she knows it too.”

That was it.

Matt didn’t even think.

His fist connected with Noah’s jaw before anyone could react.

Then it was a blur—shouting, scrambling. Noah tried to shove him back but Matt was on him again, hands in his hoodie, driving him back into the lockers, a second punch landing square in his cheek.

“You don’t talk about her like that!” Matt snapped, voice cracking with rage. “You don’t fucking talk about her, you piece of shit!”

Teachers started yelling from down the hall. Someone grabbed Matt’s arm, trying to pull him off, but he shoved them back, eyes locked on Noah, blood pumping in his ears.

He didn’t even realize his knuckles were bleeding.

He didn’t care.

Because Noah had crossed a line you don’t cross.

The hallway was chaos.

Phones were out, teachers yelling, students parting like waves around the scene. Noah was slumped slightly against the lockers, face red and already starting to bruise, while Matt stood a few feet away, chest rising and falling, knuckles scraped and bloodied.

And then—

“Matt?!”

Your voice cut through the noise.

His head whipped toward you.

You were standing at the end of the hall, wide-eyed, frozen. Your gaze darted from Noah, wincing and holding his jaw, to Matt, hands still curled in fists.

You rushed forward, eyes flicking over Noah’s face.

“Oh my god—Noah,” you breathed, dropping to your knees beside him. “What the hell happened?!”

Matt stepped forward quickly. “Y/N—wait—he was talking shit about you—about us. I tried to ignore it, I really did—”

But your face dropped, cutting him off with a look.

“Are you serious right now?” your voice cracked. “You beat him up because of what? Gossip?”

“No—it wasn’t just that, he said—he was saying the most fucked up shit about you,” Matt insisted, tone growing desperate. “I lost it, I know, but I swear—”

“No, Matt!” you shouted, standing up. “You think this fixes anything? You think this makes you look like a hero or something? It just makes everything worse!”

Matt’s mouth opened slightly, words failing him.

You turned back to Noah, helping him up slowly, brushing hair from his eyes. He leaned into you just a little, still dazed but watching Matt from over your shoulder.

“I was trying to protect you,” Matt muttered, voice lower now, softer.

But you didn’t look back.

You led Noah into the nearest bathroom, your grip on his sleeve gentle but urgent. The hallway still buzzed with chaos behind you, but your focus was locked on him — his split lip, the purpling bruise forming under his eye, the blood on his cheek.

He sat on the edge of the sink while you grabbed a wad of paper towels and wet them under the faucet, trying to stay calm, trying to make sense of everything.

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered, dabbing gently at his cheek. He winced a little but didn’t flinch away.

“It’s not your fault,” he said softly. “I shouldn’t have said anything about him at all.”

You paused. “So… you did say something?”

Noah sighed and nodded, eyes low. “Yeah. About him. Never about you. I’d never talk about you like that.” His voice was so soft. “I was just venting. He’s always had this attitude, and I… I was annoyed.”

You frowned. “People said you were talking about me too.”

He looked up then, straight into your eyes. “I swear on everything, I’d never disrespect you like that. You know me better than that, don’t you?”

You hesitated… but then gave a quiet nod.

“Yeah,” you murmured. “I do.”

Noah exhaled slowly, his shoulders relaxing. “Good. Because you mean a lot to me.”

He reached up, brushing his fingers gently across your cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. His touch was soft, careful, like you were something delicate. Something worth handling with care.

“I don’t want you thinking I’m like him,” he whispered. “I’d never hurt you.”

Your breath caught a little in your throat, but you didn’t pull away.

You weren’t sure what this was… but it felt safe in the moment.

And for now, that was enough.

Noah’s hand was still cupping your cheek as you finished blotting the last bit of dried blood. His thumb brushed under your eye, and his voice dropped even softer.

“I don’t think you should talk to him anymore,�� he said, barely above a whisper. “Matt, I mean.”

You froze for a second, blinking up at him. “Noah…”

“He’s trying to get in between us,” he continued gently. “You see that, right? Every time we get close, he does something—something to make you question me. To make you feel bad.”

You stepped back a little, heart fluttering with conflict. “He’s just… protective. That’s all.”

Noah shook his head slowly. “No. That’s not what this is. It’s not protection, it’s control. He doesn’t like the idea of you choosing someone else.” He looked down for a moment, voice tightening with quiet frustration. “He put his hands on me over nothing.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but he stepped closer, lowering his voice again — calm, soothing, like he was trying to reason with you.

“I care about you,” he said, staring into your eyes. “I listen to you. I treat you right. I never switch up on you. Doesn’t that count for something?”

You swallowed hard. “It does, but—”

“Then why let him mess that up?” he interrupted softly, brushing your arm with his fingertips. “Don’t let someone toxic keep creeping back in. That’s not what you deserve.”

You hesitated, and in that small pause, he pressed one last button — his voice almost trembling.

“I just don’t wanna lose you because of him.”

That guilt settled heavy in your chest. And even though something inside you wasn’t sure, you nodded slowly.

Noah smiled faintly, brushing his thumb along your jaw. “That’s my girl.”

—

A/N- I’ve written very very much today do you guys prefer me to release my fics tonight or throughout this next week coming up?

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