#if play wasn’t so important to a free society

[thebookewyrme]

Yes, and, something doesn’t have to be your definition of praxis to be a good and important part of the human experience. Humans, as individuals and as a species, can not live on work or praxis or activism or whatever you want to call it. Taking care of your physical and mental health is every bit as important as anything else in your life. And more than just taking care of it. More than just “getting by” and being “fine”. Joy is important. Joy and fun and pleasure are important to humans for us to thrive.

So yes, joy and excitement are radical acts of resistance in a world that wants us to be quiet miserable cogs in the machine. And one expression of joy and excitement is art, and one source of joy and excitement is also art. Take joy in the things that bring you joy, no matter how “silly” or “childish” or whatever else. Take joy, spread joy, and you’ll be doing as much for the world as any killjoy spouting “media isn’t praxis”.

There's been a lot of "um, watching movies isn't praxis, sweetie, go do something that's actually helpful, media is never actually useful or radical <3" sentiment going around online lately, and hasn't exactly helped me feel passionate about my media studies work OR about my original art.

If media is soooo useless in the Glorious Revolution, fine, I'll just fucking stop writing this stupid fantasy story and doing all this research for a video series about the fucking Hays Code. Fuck it. If media is so worthless to the leftist utopia, I guess I'm just wasting my goddamn time.

Ugh.

[imfoive]

The Youngest Son - Chapter 4

Minho x Reader (fem.) Genre: non-idol au!, Suspense, Angst, Romance, Mature Warnings: mentions of drugs, cursing, murder, death, somewhat proofread WC: 5.7k A/N: I'm really wowed by how quickly I planned this out. Feedback is always welcome, enjoy! ── MASTERLIST

Synopsis: The youngest son of the Lee family was stubborn, he was arrogant, he was conniving. Hiding it all behind the mask of a calm and collected man, the youngest son was a master at mind games. Playing a dangerous game where trust is a luxury and betrayal lurks around every corner. He had sworn once, to not let family ties or any feelings hold him back. Yet, against all odds, she had him completely wrapped around her fingers, and he had no desire to break free.

Missed a chapter? - Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3

CHAPTER 4 ───────────────────

Following the death of Lee Jae, the rest of the business circle remained oblivious to the secret project that Park Hyunmin had meticulously planned for quite some time. 

Rose Enterprises. 

Park Hyunmin was still young when he returned from Australia to embark on his entrepreneurial journey. Naming the company after his late Australian mother, who had passed away during his teenage years, held deep personal significance for him. Despite that he successfully transformed the Park family, who had initially started as hotel workers in Australia, into prominent figures in the hospitality industry almost immediately, even expanding into the restaurant business. 

Hyunmin’s reputation and influence were unparalleled, any collaboration with the Park Family and Rose Enterprises promised to catapult an entrepreneur’s importance in their society. However, Park Hyunmin wasn’t seeking just any entrepreneur for this ambitious venture.

L Corporation had solidified its position as a major player in the industrial industry, with its name attached to some of the largest malls, resorts, hotels, and even bridges. They were known for their wealth, intelligence, and strategic business ordeals. They were a perfect fit for Park Hyunmin’s ambitions. However, despite their success, the director harbored reservations about trusting them completely.

Since Chairman Lee’s retirement and the subsequent takeover by his sons, there had been a noticeable shift within L Corporation. The once formidable leadership of Chairman Lee, who single-handedly managed client needs, was replaced by his less competent sons. And despite their shortcomings, they somehow managed to maintain L Corp.’s top position in the industry. 

However, the next generation, the grandchildren, was a mixed bag. Only three out of six were deemed worthy of praise. Park Hyunmin saw potential collaboration with L Corporation as both an opportunity and a risk, weighing the benefits of their established reputation against the uncertainty of their internal dynamics.

The oldest, Jungshin. He was excelling, but mostly took care of their overseas branches. 

Then came Joohyeon. He was always falling short, but still did well. He was once married to some mayor’s daughter, but even that didn’t last.

Jookshin was the only daughter of the family. She was married off early to another big name family in the medical field, she still did her part. 

Jihoon was the oddball. He was never present for anything, people sometimes forget he was also part of the family. 

Jae did somewhat of a decent job, barely hitting the line. The only time he actually hit, was women and drugs. Although he did have everyone fooled that he had changed.

Finally Minho. The youngest son.

He kept his life extremely private. He was always present, yet didn’t have any scandals to his name. It’s surprising that he was able to avoid being corrupted by the not so pretty deeds of his older brothers.

Minho was a frequent topic of conversation for Y/N. Despite being the same age, their personalities couldn't have been more different. Y/N, spirited and carefree, stood in stark contrast to Minho’s stoicism. This contrast intrigued Park Hyunmin.

As a young man, Minho often went unnoticed in rooms filled with older, more established figures. However, his capabilities became glaringly apparent during the press conference following Jae’s scandal involving drugs and an escort a few years back.

At just twenty-one, Minho had adeptly managed the fallout almost single-handedly, impressing Park Hyunmin with his poise and skill.

It dawned on Park Hyunmin then.

Lee Minho was their secret weapon in damage control. A role he seemed to excel in more with each passing challenge.

He was young enough to navigate situations with unnoticed ease, often slipping under the radar without drawing undue attention to himself. Minho maintained a reserved demeanor, always composed yet aware, easily finding solutions to various challenges and obstacles.

However, Park Hyunmin harbored a growing dissatisfaction with the amount of time his daughter spent in Minho’s company.

He noticed how Minho attempted to avoid Y/N’s advances at social gatherings, only to find himself inevitably drawn into her orbit. Despite his efforts to maintain distance, their paths seemed to cross frequently, leading to speculation and rumors about their dynamic.

The gossip mill labeled Minho as Y/N’s “boy-toy,” a rumor that had gained momentum over the past years due to their peculiar relationship. From Park Hyunmin’s perspective, there wasn’t even enough substance to define what they had as a relationship, adding to his unease about their closeness.

They were Business friends.

And everyone knew what that term meant. But he was starting to wonder if his daughter did.

A few months before the grand engagement announcement, during Park Hyunmin and his wife’s anniversary celebration, Y/N’s father had observed Minho being pulled away from a group and disappearing with Y/N onto the terrace overlooking the garden. It wasn’t an uncommon sight but it caught the father’s eye. Concerned, he found Minho later, getting some fresh air along the stairway, or so he claimed.

With a directness typical of him, the father posed a question to Minho that caught him off guard. 

   “Do you see yourself marrying my daughter?”

Minho’s bewildered expression was enough for Y/N’s father to discern that romantic interest was not the reason behind their closeness. So, he pressed further, pointing out the societal gossip surrounding them. 

   “Then what is it? Isn’t it a bit unusual for you two to always be together? People in this society talk.”

Maintaining his composure, Minho stood upright and faced Y/N’s father squarely. 

   “People in this society always talk.” He replied calmly with a polite smile.

   “Y/N and I are simply classmates who have become acquaintances. It’s difficult to find trustworthy acquaintances in our circle. We’ve known each other for years, learned together, so it’s natural for her to seek me out. That’s all.”

Park Hyunmin took a sip of his drink, adjusting his glasses, he mused. “Acquaintances, huh?”

   “Yes, acquaintances.” Minho affirmed. 

They weren’t even friends.

Y/N’s father would be lying if he said he didn’t think of proposing for Lee Minho to get engaged with his daughter, especially when considering how Minho could be an asset in dealing with L Corporation. However, the conversation he had with Minho by the stairwell weighed heavily on his mind.

Besides, pursuing an engagement with Minho would mean entering into a deal with the second son of Chairman Lee, whose capabilities fell short in Park Hyunmin’s estimation. While both brothers had their strengths and weaknesses, and claimed there was no disparity between the sub families within the Lee line, Rose Enterprises’ grand project demanded the best, and the director was inclined towards the more competent option.

Everything had seemed to be going according to his plans, until it went awry somewhere along.

With Jae’s recent death and the sudden decision to delay announcing the broken engagement, Park Hyunmin’s ambitious “Rose Garden” project had to be put on hold.

Despite the circumstances, his daughter Y/N had to maintain the facade of being Jae’s fiancée, a role she reluctantly played for the time being. Other families offered condolences and sent gifts, but beneath the surface, they were all calculating the right moment to propose alliances for the hand of the sole heiress.

In the competitive world they inhabited, Y/N’s engagement had been seen as a significant social event, marking her availability for marriage. Now, as they awaited the appropriate period of mourning to pass, other families were poised to make their moves, eager to secure advantageous unions with the prestigious Park family.

Y/N scoffs at the gift that some no-name nobody had sent her in efforts to woo her. A token of sympathy adorned with pretty flowers and hollow offers of support. The messages always carried the same undertone “if you ever needed someone to talk to” they were always ready to listen.

It’s been six months since Jae died. Initially, it was all the news would talk about for weeks on end, trying to dig deeper, trying to come up with theories of how he died.

But then someone else in high society did something stupid and the media was all over that.

Y/N’s mother was another headache, who just couldn’t catch a hint. Surprisingly her nice mother hadn’t been corrupted, even after having lived in high society for over twenty-five years, but she was easily trusting. She was a simple woman really, who Park Hyunmin had met when he was still trying to make The Rose Enterprises bigger than it was. They had risen together, but that woman didn’t change.

However, Y/N found her mother’s continuous efforts to set her up with potential suitors exasperating. These men were often charming and polite in social settings, but Y/N saw through their facade, politeness merely a pretense to curry favor. But despite Y/N’s attempts to shut down these setups, her mother persisted in her well-meaning, but misguided approach.

   “Isn’t Kim Seungmin the nice young man from the mall?” The mother read the gift card.

   “Yeah, the one whose family owns the Star Mall chain.” She retorted dryly, clearly unimpressed by her mother’s matchmaking efforts.

The mother hesitated, then suggested, “What about giving it a chance? He seemed polite and well-mannered.”

   “Really? Jae seemed like a good person too, until he attacked me in our own hotel parking lot.” Y/N countered sharply.

The mention of Jae’s actions visibly hardened her mother’s expression, acknowledging the truth in Y/N’s words even if reluctantly. It was truly a bad decision that her husband had made, blinded by ambition and the lies about Jae changing for the better.

There’s a knock on the glass door to her office, and a few seconds later Y/N’s father entered, brightening up at the sight of both ladies.

   “Ah, what are you doing here?” He asks his wife.

   “Trying to convince this one to meet someone for a blind date.”

Her father was used to her mother’s naivety, chuckling as he nodded and took a seat next to. His attention immediately drew to the colorful basket of flowers on the table. He picked up the card attached to it, glancing over its contents with curiosity.

   “You know, having the Kim’s at our side isn’t a bad idea. They’re established and even have a few more small projects planned.” Her father begins to say, glancing up at her, cautiously.

   “Just tell me if we’re already engaged. I seem to be the last one to find out about my own engagement anyway.” She muttered.

Her father glanced guiltily at her mother once before looking at her. His expression hardened.

   “If you’re waiting in hopes that Lee Minho will suddenly take an interest in you, you can forget it.”

The mention of Minho’s name brought her attention automatically to look at her father. Brows narrowed.

   “What do you mean?”

   “That young man has a clear set of goals. And you aren’t one of them.” Her father’s words were stern, warning.

Y/N blinked back, taking in his words. She bit back, jaw tightening as she frowned angrily.

Just who did he think he was to reject her? She hadn’t even confessed.

As Minho sat in his office, engrossed in his work, the door suddenly swung open and his mother sauntered in, her gaze sweeping critically around the room.

   “Love what you’ve done to the place. Very…minimalistic.” She remarked, her tone carrying a hint of judgment.

Minho stood up, setting aside his work with a slight frown.

   “What brings you here?” He asked curtly, not eager to engage in an unnecessary conversation with her.

   “That’s not of any importance to you.” She replied dismissively.

He couldn’t help but let out a sarcastic laugh, rolling his eyes in exasperation. It was clear she was here to babble nonsense, trying to get information or even a rise out of him.

   “If you’re in the mood to waste someone’s time, I’m sure father is taking his lunch break.” He retorted, starting to walk back towards his desk.

   “Y/N’s mother has been asking around for decent young men in our circle. Poor woman doesn’t realize we have no decent men in our society, bless her.” His mother continued casually, a smile playing on her lips.

She watched his stoic composure, leaning against his desk, unbothered, unsurprisingly.

   “Does Y/N know anything about it?” She continued.

He turned to face his mother, his expression guarded. She was sharp and well-educated, yet she had a penchant for gossip like any other high-society woman.

   “How would I know what Y/N is or isn’t aware of?” Minho replied coolly, sliding his hands into his pockets.

His mother shrugged nonchalantly. “Well, I assume you would, since you two are always together. Maybe she’d have mentioned it to you.”

   “Y/N and I are not close.” Minho stated firmly, turning his attention back towards his desk, his fingers idly playing with the pens lined up.

   “I have absolutely no interest in her or what she thinks. Her desperation keeps me entertained, that’s all. She’s of no importance to me.”

Just as he looked up, his expression suddenly fell, his eyes widening as they passed his mother and landed on the figure standing in the doorway.

There stood the woman who was of no importance to him.

───────────────────────

The memories of a first kiss are something that a person typically doesn’t forget. Whether it’s was a bad kiss, a fleeting peck, or a passionate embrace, the fluttering feeling in their hearts are etched into memory.

But for Y/N, her first kiss was with a complete stranger.

She dubbed him her “cross-chain kisser.” Amid the pulsing lights of the club, the only detail she could vividly recall was the silver cross pendant hanging from his neck.

Y/N had just turned nineteen, and her father had spared no expense in throwing a grand party at one of their hotels. It was his only daughter’s birthday after all. He always made a big deal out of her birthday, but this one was different. This was her first birthday back home. 

Of course for a few hours of the evening she had to act prim and proper, dressed elegantly in a shiny dress to greet her father’s guests. They all wished her for her grand day, expensive gifts lining up that seemed more intended to impress her parents than please her. She forced a smile, something she still couldn’t get used to after spending the last seven years out of the country for her academics. She felt more like a show-piece standing in between her mother and father, smiling and absolutely tired from greeting all the unfamiliar faces that came up to her. 

The Lee family arrived sometime into the party, each member eager to catch a glimpse of Y/N Park, the heiress to all of Park Hyunmin’s wealth. They showered her with the usual lines of compliments, praising her beauty and noting how she had matured into a proper young woman. That she would finally be able to help with the company and showcase her talent. They didn’t even know her well enough to know of her so-called talent. 

She was bored, she was tired.

Until Lee Minho came forward, his father and mother in front of him, the older woman’s arm was linked around her husbands. Y/N’s gaze brightened up, smiling at the familiar face, dressed impeccably well in his black formal wear and not his school uniform. Y/N’s father was surprised to see Minho, unable to recall they even had a third son. Minho greeted the man, telling him he’ll make sure to leave an impression on him so he won’t forget next time. The birthday girl couldn’t help but smile at his remark, which had made both sets of parents break into a light chuckle.

A natural charmer, that one.

She saw the quick glance he gave her while their parents engaged in conversation. She waited for him to come forward, they hadn’t gotten a chance to meet after returning back from school. It had been weeks. Much too long for Y/N, who had gotten into a habit of bothering him for the past four years. But he didn’t come forward. 

She frowned, refusing to give in and be the one to walk up to him. Y/N crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him and not hiding her displeasure. He looked in her direction, watching as she bites the inside of her cheek, her disappointed expression not leaving her face. With a sigh, Minho slid his hands into the pockets of his slacks before finally walking towards her. Y/N couldn’t help but smirk, her head tilting cockily, silently asserting her victory to the one-sided battle she was having. He didn’t really see what was so wrong in coming up to your greet your guests, but it was her birthday party after all, and he didn’t need her complaining. Especially if her complaints reached his parents’ ears, something he didn’t need right now.

Putting on his polite smile, the kind Y/N had learned to recognize after years of observation, Minho greeted her.

   “Happy Birthday, Miss Park.” Minho’s tone dripped of formality. 

The way he addressed her had irked the heiress, as if he was putting a distance between them, emphasizing to any onlookers that they were mere acquaintances.

   “You clean up well.” She responded instead, her arms still crossed, eyes glancing over him.

He cleared his throat, muttering a low “hmm.”

   “How do I look?” Y/N inquired, lifting one side of her dress slightly to show it off.

Minho watched the fabric shimmer under the bright lights before meeting her expectant gaze. Obvious, she wanted a compliment.

   “Like a disco ball.” He coolly stated.

She rolled her eyes, expecting that sort of response from him. Instead she looked around, then stepped in closer. Her actions garner him to instinctively pull his head back stunned, watching her lean closer before glancing side-to-side, she starts speaking in a low tone. 

   “Some of the other kids and I are going clubbing later. They want to give me a big welcome back, join us.” Y/N whispered, smiling and nodding towards a group of young adults in their circle who were mingling at a nearby table.

   “Have fun.” He said instead, making her blink back a little surprised.

Minho back in Australia would have said he’d be there if she pressed. He would have ultimately agreed to go together even.

Minho back in Australia wouldn’t have called her Miss Y/N.

He nodded politely and smiled, glancing briefly at his parents who had already moved on to socialize among the other wealthy guests. With a slight smirk, Minho took a few steps backward, his gaze and smile almost taunting her, before turning and walking away. As if he had won.

He did in fact not show up that night.

Y/N even wore a black dress, slit daringly higher than appropriate, but enough to tell everyone that she was an adult. A grown woman. But he didn’t show, like he had said. 

She was upset.

More angry than upset really, not that she should have been because he had already declined the invite. His words were clear. But imagining his smug expression as he walked away earlier that evening, pissed her off even more.

The other kids kept offering shots. She downed them one after another, pretending to be a seasoned drinker while inwardly cringing at the burning sensation and bitter taste that threatened to overwhelm her, a taste she was not used to. She couldn’t let them see that, her brave face smirking confidently at every other shot and drink coming at her. 

At some point in the night, Y/N found herself on the dance floor with someone’s arm around her waist, though she couldn’t quite distinguish whose it was. The dim lights and the haze of alcohol made faces blur together. It might have been Chunyang or Chaeyoung, she couldn’t remember and didn’t really care. Everyone was starting to look the same to her.

Y/N had never gotten drunk before, she didn’t know what being drunk felt like. But if the inability to stand still and the blurry vision were any indication, she was a little more than drunk. The guy and girl in front started making out on the dance floor, something Y/N almost looked at curiously.

Something she hadn’t gotten a chance of doing yet.

She was drunk, but her brain wracked. The kids here have so much more experience. They’d down alcohol like juice, kiss and dance like experts. The academy back in Australia was much more strict, she guessed.

Suddenly, Chunyang or Chaeyoung screamed something in her ear, which made Y/N flinch. It was something about throwing up, but she couldn’t quite grasp the details. She realized soon after that the group she had arrived with had dispersed throughout the nightclub. The couple that had been dancing and kissing intimately had moved to a different part of the floor, and the girl who had been dancing closely with Y/N had disappeared. 

Squinting through the colored lights and the darkness of the dance floor, Y/N struggled to find any familiar faces. Eventually, she managed to squeeze her way off the dance floor and make her way to the bar. The bartender yelled something over the music, smiling as they handed her another birthday shot of whatever she had been downing all night.

Just as Y/N was about to bring the shot to her lips, another hand intercepted it, and he drank it without a word. Y/N watched his adams apple bob as he swallowed the drink, a silver chain glistened around his neck. Her eyes linger on the cross pendant hanging with a tinge of fascination. He almost slams the shot-glass down, bringing her back to reality.

A reality where he had drunk her birthday shot.

She frowned, her words slurred as she pointed at him.

Something along the lines of “why’d you drink my drink?”

He probably replied with “what are you gonna do about it?”

   “You’ll pay for it.” She replied defiantly, brows furrowed in anger.

Y/N grabbed his collar firmly, pulling him close, their lips meeting in a sudden and unexpected kiss. In the haze of alcohol and emotions, she couldn’t recall the exact details of the kiss. 

Did she perhaps lick his lips in a stupid attempt to reclaim her drink?

The thought made her cringe inwardly for weeks afterwards.

Or maybe it was a subconscious response to witnessing the couple on the dance floor earlier, a display of intimacy that had sparked something in her?

It was her first kiss, and her drunk mind thought kissing a stranger was a good idea!?

Another thought lingered, one that she still thought about from time to time.

Did he kiss her back?

Y/N woke up disoriented in the back of her car, immediately hit by the unpleasant sight and smell of vomit on one side of the seat. It made her gag involuntarily. Hastily fumbling with the door, she stumbled out, clutching her pounding skull in pain. Groaning loudly, she leaned against the car, trying to gather herself. The bright lights of The Rose hotel parking lot only made her headache worse.

Bits and pieces of the previous hours flashed through her mind, but the majority of it was a blur.

She was sure a designated driver service was called, dropping off what’s-her-face as well. But beyond that, the details were fuzzy. The irony of being at one of her family’s hotel did not escape her, but she was too busy staring mortified as she suddenly recalled something.

Embarrassment flooded over her as she tried to piece together the events, particularly the memory of kissing someone. Her fingers instinctively touched her lips, the sensation vivid against her fingertips. She blinked, wondering if she had truly been bold enough to act on impulse like that. Her heart beat rapidly.

A persistent thought in her mind whispered.

Call him.

Y/N didn’t even need to second guess her thoughts, she turned back to open the door, immediately backing away because of the vomit stench. She really had to do something about that. Clasping her nostrils with one hand, the other searched the back seat for her cellphone. Body half in, half out, she managed to fish it out from underneath the seat.

Her eyes hovered at his contact. It was 3:56 AM. She must be crazy. But the badgering thoughts in her mind made her heart beat faster at each passing second.

It rang, and she stood straight, foot tapping anxiously. By the sixth ring she was about to hang up, but the click on the other side made her freeze.

   “Hello?”

His voice sounded groggy, as if he’d just woken him up.

   “If you’re not gonna talk I’ll hang up.”

   “No wait!” She shouted immediately.

   “What do you want?” He muttered.

She bit her lip, nerves and a strange tingle of memory swirling within her.

   “Did you come to the club?” She asked.

There was a pause on the other end, prolonging her anxiety.

   “Do I look like the type of person to go drinking and dancing at a club?” He retorted.

She hated when he counter questioned her as a response, frustration bubbled within her.

   “Hey! Did you show up or not?!” She snapped, her patience wearing thin.

   “I didn’t.” He calmly responded.

Silence fell between them, Y/N sank back against her car, absorbing the revelation.

   “Did I kiss you?” Her voice was barely a whisper, filled with uncertainty.

   “You must’ve had a really wild night to call someone who wasn’t there at four in the morning to ask what happened.” He remarked dryly.

   “Go back to sleep, jackass.” She shot back sharply, ending the call almost immediately.

Minho sat on the edge of his bed, still dressed in outside clothes, the cross necklace dangling around his neck.

He set his phone down on the nightstand and rubbed his face with both hands, letting out a weary sigh. Hearing Y/N’s voice had brought him a sense of relief, despite the chaotic night they both had.

She seemed oblivious to what had transpired, and Minho was grateful for that.

He didn’t want her to remember.

And he would continue to deny it. He didn’t want to get entangled with her, despite his unspoken desires. Minho didn’t want to be in a mess created by her.

But he always ended up in Y/N’s messes.

As he sat there in the dim of his bedroom, thoughts circled back to that fleeting moment under the colorful lights, one that he couldn’t easily shake off. Even if he decided he would deny it ever happening. He brought his fingers to his mouth, the phantom feeling of her warm lips against his left a tingling sensation.

Did she know he kissed her back?

───────────────────────

   “I have absolutely no interest in her or what she thinks. Her desperation keeps me entertained, that’s all. She’s of no importance to me.” Minho’s words were cold.

Y/N stared at him, her hurt clearly visible. She had overheard his cruel words, which he had thought were shared in private, just between him and his mother.

The carelessness of his remark, her sudden appearance, and his fleeting remorse hung in the air.

Minho caught his mother’s glance from the corner of his eye and swiftly masked his regret, but Y/N saw the shift in his expression. His face hardening in the midst of the whirlwind of her emotions.

She looked at the older woman, who offered an awkward smile, clearly trying to pretend they hadn’t just been discussing her.

   “Y/N, dear! What brings you here?” Minho’s mother greeted warmly, her arms outstretched in a practiced show of affection.

Y/N glanced between Minho and the suddenly quiet room, then focused on his mother. 

   “I was in the area and thought I’d share some news before you heard it from someone else.” She avoided Minho’s gaze, offering a polite smile to his mother instead.

   “I’m going to New York for some time.”

Minho’s expression remained unreadable and Y/N didn’t care to decipher it this time.

His mother looked taken aback.

   “Really? Why—I mean, so suddenly?”

Y/N smiled softly and touched the mother’s hand that rested on her shoulder.

   “I just made the decision.” She attempted to keep her smiling composure.

His mother raised a brow.

   “My father and I believe I need more exposure to learn how The Rose Enterprises work. I’m going to be in charge of it one day after all.” Y/N’s forced smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, masking the tears she had been holding back.

The older woman nodded in understanding, but the tension between Y/N and Minho was heavy. She looked back at Minho, who neither smiled nor frowned. His usual stoic demeanor made her roll her eyes, expecting nothing else. The mother turned back to the young lady close to her with a grin.

   “Would you like to join me for lunch? It’s about time everyone steps out for their lunch break.” She glanced at her watch and then back at Y/N.

   “You go ahead. I have a lot of preparations to make.” Y/N said, clearly intending to speak with Minho alone.

His mother nodded and, though she didn’t look back at Minho, she had caught on. She gave a final smile as she left, clearly amused by the situation.

The door closed behind her, and the room fell into a heavy silence. Minho and Y/N stood a few feet apart, but the distance between them felt far greater all of a sudden.

   “I…” Y/N broke the silence, and Minho realized he had been holding his breath.

   “I ran here to ask you something.” She said, meeting his gaze with a mixture of confusion and pain.

The forced smile she had worn earlier was gone, replaced by the hurt she had felt from his harsh words.

   “My dad asked if I wanted to get married and take charge of his grand project, or go to New York and put his dream on hold.”

Minho’s expression hardened. He already knew what she had chosen.

   “I thought, ‘Why marry some other jackass when I already have my eyes set on one?’” Y/N laughed bitterly at her delusions, struggling to hold back her tears.

   “I’m not sure why I came here, really. I thought maybe you’d tell me not to go or you’d find some solution. You’ve always been good at that… But of course, I’ll never hear that from you. I forgot for a moment.” She couldn’t hold back the tears any longer, they began to fall freely.

Her words pierced him deeply, yet he struggled to find the right response, staring at her with an intensity he had never shown anyone before.

   “I’m glad you were entertained, Lee Minho. I’m glad that I got to hear what you really thought of me.” Her face contorted.

   “My father was right. You have clear goals, and I’m not one of them.” 

   “Y/N—” Minho began, his voice just a faltering whisper.

   “I knew you didn’t like me clinging to you. I know my behavior makes you uncomfortable sometimes. I’m even aware that I can be overbearing—But I didn’t know you hated me.” She finally broke down in a sob.

Minho felt his face flush with heat and his throat tighten painfully as Y/N’s words cut through him. Before he could gather himself, Y/N continued with words that made him stare in shock.

   “Maybe I should accept what my dad had proposed, maybe I’ll marry that stupid Kim Seungmin.” She declared, her tone resolute.

His figure stiffened at her proclamation, eyes glistening with shock.

   “Or I can just go to New York, away from you. Either way, you can rejoice. You won’t have to worry about how you can avoid me.” She muttered, her mind coming to her own unknown conclusion, expression hardening. 

Y/N took a deep breath, wiping the tears from her chin with the back of her hand.

   “I’ll hate you like you hate me.” She spat bitterly, turning away to leave.

Minho’s hand instinctively reached out to stop her, but he hesitated, paralyzed by his own conflicting emotions. 

Like a coward.

The door closes behind her with a soft click.

Outside, the desks of Minho’s team, now deserted for lunch, mocked Y/N with their vacancy. The absence of witnesses should have been a relief, shielding her from the embarrassment of leaving Minho’s office in tears. Yet, she couldn’t shake the overwhelming sense of being so alone.

Her mind was in a frenzy, her walk to the elevator felt longer than it usually took, the silence of the halls was deafening. 

How could she forget about Lee Minho?

It was a question that gnawed at her, as she struggled to comprehend when and how she had even fallen so deeply for him.

The realization cut deep.

Y/N couldn’t move on. Unable to fathom marrying anyone else while her heart still yearned for him. 

Her eyes welled up again at the thought of Minho hating her. It was obvious yet she had always ignored it. She thought even if he didn’t like her like she did him, he would’ve at least gotten used to her constantly at his side.

So used to her, that he wouldn’t be able to see a life without her in his sights. 

Pathetic.

The elevator’s ding shattered Y/N’s thoughts, abruptly pulling her back to the present moment. She looked up, hastily wiping away the traces of tears from her cheeks, suddenly aware that there might be others sharing the lift with her. But as the doors slid open to reveal an empty interior, a wave of emotion overwhelmed her.

Her lips quivered involuntarily, betraying the facade she struggled to maintain. There was no hiding her heartache now, no reason to pretend she was anything but defeated. With a heavy sigh, Y/N stepped inside the elevator, shoulders slumped with the weight of everything that just happened.

You’ll be happy right, Lee Minho? 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ to be continued.

── ask to be tagged! - @minh0scat, @qwonyoung23

[rosenotactuallyquartz]

"Pearl is Alfred if Alfred was in love with Batman. It’s very important to note that we’re talking about Batman here, NOT Bruce Wayne. She loves BATMAN." — rebecca sugar

what do you think about pearl loving only rose quartz and not pink diamond? I love pearlrose but I think their relationship kind of reinforced rose's self hatred. rose needed to accept pink diamond and her past to accept herself but her fantasy with pearl denied pink diamond's relation to rose.

which also makes me think that rose loved pearl *more* than pearl loved her because she always fully loved and accepted pearl. of course, that's not pearl's fault because she couldn't have a relationship with a diamond who owned her; separating the diamond and the quartz was what made her relationship with rose possible and far healthier than it could've been. so their situation is pretty tragic.

(i’m new to tumblr, so this will be the answer to my first ask, which is exciting. anyway.)

i’ve always seen that quote as being a more positive statement about pearl and rose’s relationship !

it clarifies that pearl never loved rose because of reasons that are related to the pearl-diamond dynamic in horrific homeworld. that’s a common misconception about pearl’s love for rose.

the fact that she fell in love with her when she became rose shows that her love was never mere admiration, devotion, following. it went against homeworld; her love was genuine and real. deep, nurturing, empathetic. she loved rose like one would love a person.

(i want to give a heads up because there are going to be some mentions of abuse & of course rose’s self hatred)

pink diamond hated being a diamond, and she was not like the others. she was in a lot of pain. she was naive, very much a kid compared to the other diamonds. pink was abused, in many different ways. pearl witnessed a lot of this, as she was living with her. she recalled certain times when pink was belittled; she was terrified when steven was left alone with white diamond for about five minutes; she often assumed white caused the harm anytime a gem from homeworld was injured.

pearl said that rose was never happy as pink diamond. they never got the opportunity to connect and get to know each other, and they were both very afraid. the homeworld environment made it impossible for pearl to really fall in love with pink. unless it wasn’t genuine, but i’m actually very grateful for this quote, because it shows that it was.

she never fell in love with pink, but she liked her and cared for her. if she hated pink and loved rose, then i’d understand if that made rose dislike herself more.

the first time she pictured rose, she simply pictured a version of pink who was disguised, yes, but still herself, just more happy and free.

pearl started to fall in love with that individual because this was the only time they could really connect: after escaping from the homeworld society that they both hated.

now we’re only falling apart, their first day on earth, was likely the very first time rose was able to hug her. pearl watched her be herself for the very first time. she watched her play with flowers and chase butterflies and she looked incredibly happy. instead of just looking at her the way that she would look at a diamond, she could actually look at her and perceive her as being endearing. she loved getting to know her as an individual, she loved seeing a soft and genuine side of her that only came out when she felt safe. and rose never felt safe in homeworld.

she also learned how much rose cared for all beings. not just other gems, but humans, too ! she was never one to follow the beliefs of homeworld.

then, they both agreed to escape. rose knew pearl cared for her and pink (especially with pearl crying when they faked the shattering), it’s just homeworld’s system that she hates.

but it was still a tragedy, i agree with that.

white diamond demonstrated how much she damaged rose in change your mind. when she thought she was speaking to pink, she said:

“Please stop helping them. You'll only make things worse. That's what you do. I make things better.”

“As for me, I'm certain I don't need you. After all, I'm every color of the light! But you're a part of me… the part I always have to repress.”

she was most likely spoken to like this for thousands of years, along with things like being locked in a dark room. sugar also said that she only got a colony because white wanted to prove that pink would fail. she controls gems, even blue & yellow, while she points out their flaws in front of everyone and laughs at them.

so this is how i think rose’s self hatred was reinforced: during the war, countless gems (many being her friends) were shattered and corrupted despite the fact that the rebellion happened because she wanted to protect life on earth. she was one of the only survivors, which gave her a lot of guilt. she never healed from the abuse trauma, especially because it was ongoing. she lived in fear that the diamonds would find her one day, but simultaneously, she lived in guilt because no one but pearl knew about this part of herself that she kept secret. eventually, it all became too much.

i think white’s words replayed in her head often. this is why we see her with the ear-covering gesture in change your mind; it makes sense because white evidently said things like, “you’re bad,” “don’t try to help, it will only cause more damage,” “no one needs you.” after trying to heal others, the war and guilt added to her trauma, with a final conclusion of, “i feel like a failure, white diamond is right, i only make things worse, they would be better off without me.”

pearl told rose that she was important, she lived with her while she was a diamond and then throughout her entire lifetime as rose. she saw warmth and comfort when she looked at her despite knowing about so many aspects that rose was ashamed of.

personally, i don’t think pearl ever contributed to rose’s self hatred. no one knew rose as well as pearl did. this means that, if anything, her self hatred was likely reinforced by the fact that so many of her close friends didn’t know her the way she knew them. which isn’t their fault at all, of course ! rose carried so much guilt, and pearl could protect her from the diamonds and the war but she could never protect her from herself.

she felt very cared for… but her self hatred was so terrible that she didn’t feel deserving of all that love. especially, as sugar said, she thought pearl and so many others were so much better than her.

& feeling so much pain all the time, rose was… isolated. she couldn’t tell anyone else about her terrible and destructive thoughts because they wouldn’t understand unless she told them a secret that she didn’t want to tell.

but pearl would be able to understand it/recognize it without rose saying anything, because she knew her so well.

as for your last paragraph, i don’t think rose loved pearl more than pearl loved her. but i also don’t think pearl loved rose more, either !

pearl fully loved pink/rose, it’s why she kept living with her and wanting to be with her despite knowing about nearly everything she was ashamed of, it’s why she defended her and protected her. she just happened to be in love with her when she could really be in love with her.

they were both extremely attached to each other. fans tend to focus on pearl’s attachment because of the steven universe timeline, which happens to fall right where her early (for gems) grief happens. their attachments both make sense.

pearl witnessed how she was treated by the other diamonds, feared that rose would be caught, feared that rose would die in the war, worried about rose’s constant pain following it. she was very protective of her but rose still died… without proper closure or understanding, without a human lifespan so now she’ll be on earth forever without her. of course she became fixated on it. and keeping such a big secret like that made it more difficult. no one could really understand why she was feeling that pain, and some unfortunately assumed it was because she’s a pearl. which is really really sad because their whole dynamic was about going against homeworld.

meanwhile, rose’s attachment came from the fact that pearl was very much… home to her, which was big for her—she never felt at home with the diamond authority, and her home on earth became home because she was living with pearl. their fusion was an extremely significant way for them to officially reject every possible mindset that homeworld could give them. a fusion of two different gems, a diamond and a pearl. pearl helped her build friendships with others, too, which i think is symbolized by the obsidian fusion. first she trusts pearl with her light, and then they both joined the others.

during homeworld & trauma, pink and rose were never in a place where love could grow properly. new, safer environments change so much.

that’s my interpretation of the relationship/sugar’s quote !!

thank you again for the ask 🩷🩷

[edenalieth]

Tricked pt.2

Pairing: pixy!hyunjin x afab! reader — read part.1

Genre: faery!au, based on « the cruel prince » universe, smut, slight angst

Warnings: he’s still short tempered his dad is too, unprotected sex (they're fairies, they struggle to have kids and are immortals, you're not), oral m!receiving, fingering f!receiving, orgasm denial, bit rough/jealousy, y'all are a bit tipsy

Summary: At first, he thought he was hallucinating but he could recognize your delicate gestures, the plump of your lips, your hand engulfed by the stranger’s one and the way his free hand was sneakily brushing over your butt. Who was this asshole ? Rage setting his blood on fire, he couldn’t stop staring at you, making him stumble over his partner's feet. He apologized to the lady he was dancing with and headed towards you. Little did he know that you were waiting for this reaction. 

Words: 4.7K 

A.N: hi, it's cami! im back with the second part of this faery au. it's actually a first for me to write a sequel, i recently read the stolen heir so it helped going back into this universe haha. sorry for the eventual mistakes, i hope you will like it ♡ — 231206

His shirt was barely buttoned up, his hair untied and soaked after swimming with you on the lake and he unconsciously hummed a song on his way back to the manor. He felt delighted by the time you had spent together. Of course, he wasn’t forgiving you for the way you had played with his feelings, the way you made a fool out of him but he would let you go with it, for now. And, after all, it was your secret. Just like the place where you had sealed your passion to. He shivered thinking about how your hands touched him, how your soft lips crashed on his. He let his fingers brush against his lips, his steps guiding him towards the white rocky structure he called his dwelling. 

When the heavy wooden door opened at his arrival he heard his name being announced by the guards and some servants rushing towards him. 

« My lord, what happened to your clothes ? Please, you should wear some shoes and get dressed properly. » urged an old woman called Mona. She used to be his nanny and was always making sure things were perfect for him. Since he grew up, he was seeing her less and less as she was busy directing other attendants. However, she always showed up during important times. Today was no exception. 

Hyunjin raised a brow looking at the fae. He checked his white shirt. There was some green stains here and there because of your little fight. His feet were dirty after walking in the woods. Fine but what now ? Were the guests still here ? Even so, he didn’t care. The high society had seen him in a far worst shape than just being underdressed. And, after all, even a cruel and perverted man like Cardan had been able to access the throne. People would not be shocked for so little. 

The woman clapped twice and domestic servants swarmed over him, dusting his shoulders and feet, handing him a clean doublet and boots. He rejected them, annoyed by all this fuss. « Could you at least tell me why I should do this ? I would like to retire to my apartments. » the black haired pixy grumbled, his tone iron cold, looking at them with no mercy. The old fae sighed, not impressed by his temper. « Your father is waiting for you in his office. » 

His shoulders got tensed and he clenched his fists, the muscle of his jaw suddenly prominent. He pulled the clothes off the hands of a brownie, while an other one was helping him to put his boots on. Once ready, he headed towards the office. 

As usual, his steps were echoing on the empty corridors. In the fading daylight, the last rays of sunshine were illuminating the walls of different shades of blue, making the shadows dance. He stopped at the doorframe, took a deep breath and knocked.

« Come. » his father’s low voice seemed calm, too calm. 

Hyunjin entered the room. He bowed and said « Father. Mona told me you wanted to see me. » 

The place wasn’t really big and quite off-centered from the crowded rooms of the manor. Mountains of books were surrounding the huge oak desk, skillfully engraved with pixies and ivy. The young man was about to sit on one of the armchair facing it but his father stopped him, raising his hand as a gesture for him to wait. « No need, I won’t be too long. »

Hyunjin had difficulties to stay focused and he was trying with all his might to not let his wings buzz. His father was writing on some papers, not even bothering to look at his son. When he finished, he sealed it with blue wax, stamping the coat of arms of their family using his signet ring. Hyunjin had a similar one on his left index. « Today was your last tantrum. » his parent stated. 

The boy scoffed, tapping his feet on the floor. « A tantrum ? Maybe it would not have happened if this incompetent » and he insisted on that word, gritting his teeth « was doing his job properly. He humiliated me in front of the guests. » 

His dad stood up, overlooking his son. « No! You did that yourself and a multiple times! » he seethed. Hyunjin could feel his body getting hot from all the rage he was holding back. Controlling his wings was now a wasted effort and it didn’t go unnoticed. The older man looked at him with disdain. « Look at you. You’re dressed like a peasant and can’t even discipline your emotions. You almost hurt a domestic today, you put on a show during our dinner with the duke and your reputation is well known in Insmire. » he paused, analyzing Hyunjin’s reaction to the statement. He continued. « Get ahold of yourself or I will have to interfere myself. » he threatened. The pixy was fulminating. « I dare you to try. » he spit, his body few inches from his father’s. Not getting the time to react, he felt a loud pain on his cheekbone. His mind went blank, something warm dripping along his face. 

His dad pulled out a tissue from his pocket and cleaned his ring. « A ball is going to be held in four days. This is your chance to show the true values of the Hwang family. Understood ? » Hyunjin didn’t answer. « I said, understood ? ». 

« Yes, father. » 

When Hyunjin came back to his room, he had the urge to break everything around him. He checked himself on the full length mirror, his cheek was red, with some hints of purple and dry blood on the cut. Despite his anger, he could tell this argument made him come back to his senses. He deserved to be respected and feared but he also needed to behave a bit more to reach that goal. Not to be the capricious heir and to be able to surpass his dad. First, he would try to control his emotions. Second, he would avoid people making it harder for him to reach his first goal and having a bad influence on him, such as you. He could tell his heart had soften the second he took interest in you. It started when you arrived at the court and exploded after your afternoon together. He would not meet you the next day, breaking his promise. Nor the other. He didn’t need a weakness. He didn’t need to like you. 

Servants were helping him to get ready. He was wearing an all white outfit. The tip of his boots was covered of dark silver and Mona attached a brooch made of sapphires as dark as the night sky. His cloak, also white, was covered of tiny diamonds looking like the morning dew. His former nanny handed him a mask made of tulle. It wasn’t totally covering his face, just enough to hide his bruise and eyes. He was playing with the ring on his index, adorned with his coat of arms. It represented several pair of pixy wings, intertwined with ivy forming a H. Hyunjin often played with it to relax or, at least, try to. He perfectly knew that you would be here tonight. It would probably be difficult to ignore you, he was scared of your reaction. However, it was a masked ball and maybe you would not recognize him in the crowd. He hoped so. 

Once ready, a knight came to escort him and his family to the castle where the ball was taking place. The great hall was beautifully decorated. Fresh flowers were dripping from the ceiling expertly mixing with the high chandeliers where small fireflies were trapped, diffusing a dim light. The tables were covered with food and drinks going from grilled fish accompanied with a lemony sauce, fae fruits and exotic ones, some mortal dishes and different types of wine. 

A small orchestra was playing and a lot of people were dancing dressed with their prettiest gowns or totally naked. Spotting some acquaintances, he followed his family, greetings several people. Trolls, mermaids, elves. He had to go through this if he wanted to get some freedom from his father’s constant monitoring. Which, after what felt like hours, he got. His mother was busy gossiping with court ladies and his father needed to discuss some serious topic with a duke. Hyunjin wasted no time and decided to join some of his friends he had noticed earlier and took a glass of green wine. The alcohol going down his throat burnt him but the taste of it was incredible. 

« Look who is joining us! What have you been up to ? You didn’t come to Xylia’s party this week. » immediately questioned a young sidhe named Jisung. Him and Hyunjin used to hate each other until the pixy helped him out of a really bad situation. Said situation implying his friend having an affair with a married woman. 

« I’ve been on thin ice with my father’s patience lately… Staying at the manor was my best option. » 

Jisung pouted not truly convinced and took a bite on a fae fruit, some of its golden dust slightly covering his mouth. « Better make up for last time then » he mischievously replied with a smirk, pouring another glass of wine to Hyunjin. The latest smiled and let himself go a little while said Xylia, a nymph who had been interested on the black haired man, came up to sit on his lap. 

« Hwang Hyunjin is finally honoring us of his presence! » she purred, sliding her arms around his shoulders. « Missed me ? » he arrogantly said. « Of course ». She chuckled, revealing pointy teeth, then proceeded to come closer to sensually bite his neck. Jisung laughed and looked at them avidly. It wasn’t the first time he was seeing them acting like this but it surely aroused him. Hyunjin used to love it, playing with Xylia, flirting with indecency, teasing his friend. He thought that giving in to his old demons would help him get you out of his mind but everything seemed bland. The nymph strong flowery scent was overwhelming, his mouth felt furred because of the wine and the sidhe’s reaction annoyed him. 

« Stop… » his voice was barely audible. The girl kept on going, sliding her hands along his torso. « I said stop. » he growled firmly, trapping the nymph’s wrist in his hand. His gaze was icy, giving cold sweat to Xylia. « What’s wrong with you ? » she was visibly offended. The pixy man rolled his eyes « I’m bored staying in your company ». He stood up and went towards the dancing crowd. He heard Jisung trying to convince him to stay and could feel the nymph’s angry eyes boring holes into his back. He didn’t care, now that the alcohol was doing its job he could only think about one thing: finding you. 

How came you didn’t cross his path yet ? Yes, all those masks and textile fluttering all around him were making him dizzy and harder for him to notice you. However, it couldn’t be impossible, right ? Unless you weren’t invited… Unthinkable. Your family was freshly part of the high society, they needed to shine among it to get the recognition from their pairs. Hyunjin let himself be drawn into a waltz, changing partners and spiraling according to his thoughts. Until his eyes finally landed on you. At first, he thought he was hallucinating but he could recognize your delicate gestures, the plump of your lips, your hand engulfed by the stranger’s one and the way his free hand was sneakily brushing over your butt. Who was this asshole ? 

Rage setting his blood on fire, he couldn’t stop staring at you, making him stumble over his partner's feet. He apologized to the lady he was dancing with and headed towards you. Little did he know that you were waiting for this reaction. 

You had noticed him rather quickly. How could you do otherwise, anyway ? He was shining like the purest gem among the nobles and courtiers. The tulle mask was doing nothing, you could tell right away that it was him by the way he elegantly walked, his dark blue wings, his pearl earring he seemed to never take off from his pointy ears. The second you saw him in the crowd, you almost ran to him, desperate to know why he never came back to the lake. However, you needed to find the right time for it because you weren’t going to be nice and you couldn’t tarnish your family's reputation. He seemed like a different person when it was only the both of you. You thought he had a soft spot for you. What an idiot you had been. You felt betrayed. Maybe it was his revenge for the little play you had pulled on him and it felt like getting a taste of your own medicine. Bitter. 

He had probably used you and would laugh about it with his friends. This feeling increased the moment you saw that beautiful creature devouring his neck and touching him lustfully. You clenched your fists at the sight of it and regretted not cutting his throat when you had the occasion. In the end, he was like any other fae, directed by his impulses. You went to the closest table and grabbed a drink. You coughed a little because of the high amount of alcohol. And this is how you joined the dancers, well decided not to cry over that mouth-of-nectar. He wanted to play that game ? Oh, you wouldn’t loose and seeing him almost crawling in your direction gave you some smugness. 

« Y/N. » he called out, trying to get your attention as you ignored him thoroughly. People were on his way and he started to push them away brutally — getting death glares — as you danced away from him, still in your lure’s arms. Even if his gaze was blurred by the light fabric covering it, you could tell the same anger was burning inside his eyes, the same one you had witnessed when he discovered the trickery you had played on him. Finally reaching the both of you, the pixy stopped, trying to keep his composure. « May I ? » he asked the man, showing his palm. « Can’t you see I’m… » your partner was about to protest until he saw who he was talking to. Hyunjin was giving him a beautiful grin but not a single cell of his body seemed welcoming. « Lord Hwang I… My apologies, the lady is yours. » he sheepishly said. The pixy looked at him leaving and his smile instantly faded once the man was out of sight. You rolled your eyes and tried to escape but he strongly grabbed your waist and pulled you close to him. 

« You suddenly remember me, Hwang Hyunjin ? » you scoffed, annoyed to not be able to detach your eyes from his. He intertwined his fingers with yours, making you twirl. You were stunning in that dress. It was visibly made of a pearly shaded silk where actual pearls delicately dangled on your chest and arms, like rain drops. A similar mask was adorning your face. It gave you a strong aura and suited the hint of purple in your eyes. « Why are you doing this to me, half-blood ? » he whispered in your ear. Feeling his breath against your face gave you goosebumps. 

« D-doing what ? » 

Damn it! You couldn’t help but stuttered and he smirked. 

« Playing with my feelings all the time. » he replied. Oh wow! So, it was your fault. 

« I’m the one playing ? You seemed to have a good time with that freshwater slut earlier. » you spat, unable to restrain your venom. He recoiled, surprised. 

« Are you talking about Xylia ? I actually pushed her away because I wanted her to be you. » he grumbled. You felt his nails digging into the tenderness of your waist, giving you a small ache. « And you think I’m going to believe you after you broke your promise. I bet you told all your friends how you made a fool out of me, letting me think I had won. »

Your words annoyed him and he frowned. This is what you thought and why you were doing all of this, trying to make him jealous and it worked. His wings started to tickle and his mouth was reduced to a thin line. 

« You truly think I’m a monster when you’re the one who started all of this. » he stated calmly. Surprised, you looked at him but you couldn’t say he was wrong… 

« What do you want from me Y/N ? » 

His intense gaze made you look away and you were glad the mask was hiding your cheekbones which were probably red. You weren’t going to say how much his loss hurt you, how addicted you had become after only one day together. You had too much ego for that. Gulping, you came closer to his ear and murmured, « Prove me I’m wrong, prove that you sincerely desire me. »

He put a halt to your dance, weighing the pros and cons of your demand. Accepting would go against his resolutions, yet, it couldn’t let you insult him without giving you a lesson. « Your wish is my command. » he replied with a sly smile. 

Cutting through the crowd, he guided you upstairs. You weren’t surprised to see some wasted people laying on the floor or hearing laughs coming from other rooms. What surprised you is how easily he found the entry of a boudoir room. Must not have been his first time coming here which made your body get tensed. 

It was small and pretty. The furnitures were scanty. An alcove full of fluffy pillows and beautifully crafted blankets overhung by a large window offering a night view of the garden. A meridian couch and a coffee table, few decorations. You removed your mask, wanting to face him correctly. You looked even more gorgeous and he could feel his body warming up. He carefully locked the door and walked towards you, trapping you against the edge of the alcove and himself. The sudden proximity made your core ache. You wanted to touch him badly but he was the one who had to prove something. After all, he accepted the challenge. 

« Well. Tell me Hyunjin, are we going to stay like that or are you actually going to do something ? » you teased. He scoffed, letting his hand run along your thigh and going up your breast to grasp the dangling pearls. He played with it, looking at the light reflecting on it. Your breathe was faint, anticipating. Not bothering to lift his head up, he spoke 

« I will make you mine, Y/N. You will be my thing, my doll and you will never dare to flirt with some idiots ever again. » You frowned. His thing ? You would never let that happen. 

« You’re all blabbering but you dont act much and, most importantly, you don’t own me. » 

What you thought would be a nice time was turning into an upsetting one. This was ridiculous and, despite your aroused state, you needed to leave. Obviously, the young pixy didn’t let you go, pulling hard on the pearls and making the threads holding them break as they fell on the ground. 

« Really ? » 

You couldn’t really tell what he was thinking because of the tulle and you wanted him to get rid of it. Before you could complain about it, he grabbed your butt and made you sit on the alcove. Adroitly, he left your dress up so that your bottom was fully exposed. « I’m sure of… » you couldn’t finish your sentence, feeling his thin fingers sliding down your folds. You gripped his shoulders and moaned on his neck. He removed his hand, looking at your glimmering arousal and said with a husky voice « Seems like your pussy is telling me otherwise. »

You felt tears forming in your eyes. Why your body had to betray you like this ? You bit your lip, sulking. However, Hyunjin didn’t plan to give you any rest. 

« You wanted to know how much I desire you, uh ? » he growled, leaving incandescent kisses on your jaw and neck. You hummed, too concentrated on his touch. 

« Speak. » he ordered. 

« Yes. » 

A smirk appeared on his face as he closed the gap between the two of you. You sighed in relief, finally feeling his lips on yours, it tasted like green wine. You wrapped your legs around his waist, your core meeting the fabric of his pants where you could feel is hard-on. He grabbed the back of your hair, making your head fall backward. He missed your scent, the softness of your skin and he absolutely wanted to ruin you. 

You tried to find some friction but he was holding you back strongly. The tip of his nose brushed against the crook of your neck when you felt his warm and wet tongue tracing lines on it. « Hyunjin, please… »

As an answer, he harshly sucked on your skin. The pain made a small cry escape your mouth. Fuck. He was bolder than the first time, getting comfortable around you. You heard a pop when he let your sensitive take some rest. 

« Satisfied ? » he asked. Oh, he had to be joking right now. 

« Not at all. » you answered, sulking. His laugh revealed his teeth, making him low-key predatory. 

« Always greedy. » he sighed. His fingers caressed the pulsing point of your neck, travelling down to the valley of your breast to finally reach where you needed him the most. He cupped your sex, making you mewl. « This belongs to me. » 

You wanted to protest but the pressure he was applying on your clit was driving you crazy, his thumb forming small eight figures on it. 

« Say it. » You resisted, shutting your eyes and digging your nails into his shoulders. Loosing his patience, he inserted a first digit inside you. You moaned his name loudly and Hyunjin had to take deep breaths not to fuck you raw.

« I-it’s yours. » you panted. 

He dipped another finger inside your dripping pussy. « Again. » 

« It’s yours, I’m yours. » you chocked when you felt his digits curling. 

« See. It wasn’t that difficult to admit it. » he mocked, his lips crashing against yours. You bit on his lower lip, making him grunt, soon met by an iron taste. The black haired man lightly jumped, his wings quivering. 

« Behave. » he whispered. « I’m sorry… I got carried away. » you immediately apologized, afraid that he would stop. Unfortunately, what you feared inevitably happened. After few more pumps, he could notice how lightheaded you were, how your walls were getting tighter. However, he didn’t want you to come around his fingers. You whined. 

« Keep going, please. I was so close. »

« I know. » he sighed. « But it’s my turn now. » He stepped back a little, putting you back on your feet as he was taking your place and unzipping his pants. He looked sinfully handsome. Totally absorbed by the view, you didn’t notice how he made you kneel down before him. His length was right in front of your eyes, precum glittering on its top. You licked your lips. « Suck on it. » 

Another order you gladly complied to. Him towering you like this, in all his glory, was another type of turn on. You delicately seized his dick before giving him some kitten licks. He let out a loud moan, his hands gripping the edge of the alcove, his knuckles turning white. 

« Stop playing. » he huffed. Searching for his gaze, you seductively put his member into your mouth, your lips perfectly fitting around it. Damn it. He would never be able to avoid you after seeing you like that. The sensation of your tongue twirling around his shaft, the delicious pressure every time you sucked on him. Gripping your hair he gave you light thrusts, until he couldn't stop his increasing pace, the tip of dick repeatedly hitting the back of your throat, making you gag. Tears formed on the corner of your eyes and your jaw started to ache so you had to make him stop. Both out-of-breath, he helped you to stand up, your legs being sore from the kneeling position.

« You did amazing, sugar. But don't you think it would be too bad for me not to come inside you ? » he mused, cupping your chin.

« I want you all. » you whined, already lifting your gown up. It made him chuckle, his eyes turning into crescent moons. Wanting to be more comfortable, he finally removed his cloak and mask. You never thought it would make such a big difference but everything seemed more intense now. You could perfectly admire his features, his dark eyes, the mole under his left one. Something was new, though. You carefully approached your hand from the bruise on his face. You frowned and asked « What happened ? ».

He had totally forgotten about it. He put your hand down and made you turn around. « Nothing much, now bend over. » You started to ask more questions but got easily distracted when he unlaced your dress, letting it slip on your naked body. You felt the palm of his left hand applying pressure on your bare back so that your torso was totally flat against the pillows and blankets of the alcove. He cupped your butt cheeks, slightly spreading them to look at your dripping core. You couldn't see what he was doing, only hearing some wet sounds. Hyunjin pumped himself hastily and, without any warning, penetrated you. You being soaking wet helped him a little but you were so tight that it was difficult for him to put his whole length inside. Gripping your waist firmly, he started with light thrusts, growling with any frictions.

The stretch was a bit painful at first, still, you quickly got accustomed to it, your butt trying to meet his hips and loving how he manhandled you. Seeing you so desperate to feel his dick made him salivate. He could see the side of your face as you bit on your lips, trying to muffle your noisy whimpers. You looked so fucked up and gorgeous at the same time. Inch by inch, he finally buried the totality of his shaft inside you, immediately hitting your sweet spot. « Fuck... Y/N... » one thrust, « I told you... » two... « You are meant to be mine. » His pace was increasing as you nodded, unable to create a proper sentence, your hips continuously hitting against the wooden edge of the alcove. The mixed pain and pleasure made you press your legs together, which didn't go unnoticed. Growling louder, Hyunjin bent over you to get a new angle, his thrusts becoming sloppy and slower. You felt one of his hand sliding down your heat to work on your clit.

« Hyunjin... » you mewl on his touch.

Surrounded by your scent and moans, he wasn't sure if he would be able to handle it much longer, going feral as he fed your eager cunt.

« You feel so good. Even better than last time » he praised, probably because this time he was the one dominating. This statement sent electricity down your spine, your walls clenching dangerously.

« Hyunie, I'm really close... » you cried, your voice barely above a whisper. « Hold on for me, half-blood. » the pixy commanded. You simply nodded and grabbed the blankets under you. You couldn't think straight anymore. You were fighting against the threatening wave of pleasure increasing with each powerful thrust, each change of pace. He was doing you good, too good for your own sanity. You could feel his weight on top of you, his arms caging your torso, leaving faint bruises. Wet sounds were echoing in the small room, sounds of your sweaty bodies rubbing against each other, sounds of sinful sex. His breath was becoming hectic and heavier, your walls so warm and narrow that he felt sucked in.

« Fuck ! » shaking over you, he relieved his seeds inside you, coating your core white. The euphoric wave wouldn't stop as he kept feeding his high, throbbing inside you and spiraling into delicious bliss. Unable to hold back anymore, you were on the very edge of your climax when you felt him pulling out. Stunned, you were left clenching around nothing, your core aching.

« W-what ? » you asked, confused. You fell on the floor, too weak to stand up properly. Hyunjin was already dressing himself up, styling his hair and tying his cloak. Once ready, he took his mask and crouched down to meet your eyes. A smirk was adorning his face.

« Consider this a payback for last time. » he said with his husky voice, preparing to get up « Oh! Before I leave, don't forget that I better not catch you in the arms of someone else than me. » he was towering you, looking down on you and your submissive position. He caressed your cheeks as anger was suddenly knocking your brain, your brows furrowed and eyes darkening. Without a word he turned around and left the room. He put his mask back on, satisfied as he heard his steps and your raging scream echoing on the corridor.

[quizzyisdone]

Take On Me | Fem! Bell Reader x Frank Woods

A/N: Hi!! I know it has been forever since I post for BOCW and honestly, I miss it a lot. Adult life just doesn't really lend itself well to having creative hobbies (shocking). But here's a little something for Valentine's Day that definitely is not projection at all :) Masterlist Pairing: Fem! Bell Reader x Frank Woods Word Count: 3.2k Synopsis: Woods has always hated Valentine's Day -- it's just a pathetic marketing gimmick for big businesses to take your money and for society to make you feel bad if you spend it alone. Bell, on the other hand, would beg to differ. Warnings: Strong language, mentions of alcohol, Woods is a jackass at one point but don't worry he makes up for it

*Title inspired by Take On Me, by a-ha

You walked glumly down the sidewalk, attempting to avert your eyes from the restaurants that lined the streets, young couples all enjoying a nice Valentine’s Dinner inside. Even the damn weather was romantic.

 Light flurries of snow cascading around everyone, intricate snowflakes landing delicately in your hair and onto your coat. It wasn’t bone-chilling cold either, perfect for a stroll down the street, holding hands with the one you loved. Warm yellowish hues from inside the various buildings emanated onto the street, along with the sound of laughter and idle chatter as well. It would’ve been the perfect atmosphere to set the mood for a date with Woods. The idyllic late winter day.

You clutched the brown paper bag filled with his favorite beer to your chest, careful so as not to drop it. It was your little Valentine’s Day gift, small and inconsequential enough to play off as just a kind gesture and completely not at all related to the present holiday. Admittedly, your feelings were a little hurt when Woods had gone off on a sarcastic tangent about how much he hated Valentine’s Day the other day and that it was just a stupid corporate holiday. 

He was kind of right, but it was still fun to celebrate, at least for you. A nice little date, free from the worries of either of your jobs or maybe at least a gift from Woods would have been nice. You two had never even been in the same state, or even country for that matter, during the holiday since you started dating. 

Maybe missing Valentine’s Day was kind of your fault anyways, since after his little joking tangent both of you agreed not to celebrate or do anything -- it was just a normal day. Ironic, considering a day with Woods could scarcely be considered normal due to your work with the CIA and his with the Marines. A normal day wasn’t getting called into work and both of you just sitting on the couch, too exhausted to truly spend time with each other in a manner other than physically being in the same room.

Truthfully, life had been rather boring lately, your relationship wasn’t missing love per se, but it was missing that old excitement.

You turned off of the street and into the apartment building where you shared a flat with Woods. After climbing up two flights of stairs and finding your door, you reached into your coat pocket for your keys, opening to the door to find Woods putting his own jacket on and grabbing the keys to his truck. 

“Hey babe.” He said, barely giving you a glance in acknowledgment as he tied his boots. 

“Hi.” You said, confused and frowning. You crossed your arms. “Where are you going?”

“Oh, over to this dive bar with Adler, he just got back into town, thought I’d get a drink with him.” Woods explained, none the wiser to how upset you were. You harshly placed down the brown bag. “Uh, what’s in the bag?” He asked.

“Something I got for you. I wanted to do something nice for you.” You crossed your arms and put on the angriest expression you could muster to hide how defeated you felt. He opened it, revealing a six pack of his favorite imported beer, very difficult and expensive to get in America. Instead of a smile and a thank you, he furrowed his brows, frowning.

“We weren’t supposed to get each other anything.” 

“It wasn’t for Valentine’s Day. It was meant to be a nice gesture” You spat, stomping off and into the living room adjacent to the foyer. “Not even a fucking thank you.” You whispered under your breath.

“Thank you?” He yelled from the other room, following you, now clearly just as angry as you. “We agreed not to get anything for each other. I don’t fucking want your gift if you’re just going to be an ass about it.”

“I went to seven different liquor stores across the entire Philadelphia city limit in the snow and paid nearly fifty dollars for a six pack of special imported beer that you’d go through in one sitting because I knew this was your favorite and now you don’t want it. Some gratitude would be nice. ”

“Why would I want it if you’re gonna act like a bitch?” Woods bellowed. ‘Bitch’ had hit a nerve, he had never called you that before, but then again the two of you never got into any bad arguments before. Regardless, you stood your ground.

“Maybe I’m acting like a bitch because your first response was to chastise and question me for getting you a present and now you’re yelling at me.”

“I didn’t even want to celebrate Valentine’s!”

“Maybe I did because I never get to be with you anymore, you’re always too tired or too busy to fucking be my partner.” Your pitch became quieter and you suddenly became aware of the tears streaming down your cheeks in a torrential downpour. “You haven’t touched me in forever. I miss you. I wanted to celebrate it with you, I never got to experience any of this.” You said through clenched teeth.

Evidently, the tears did not sway Woods, as he continued yelling. 

“Well I have and it’s not that fun. Sorry I’m exhausted from saving the entire fucking free world, Bell.” He retorted.

You scoffed.

“Get off your fucking soapbox, Woods. You and I do the exact same thing, and I still make time for you.” You turned your body away from him facing the wall, not even wanting to see him. “It’d be nice if you could do that for me too.”

“I do!” He explained, almost childlike in his declaration -- like a toddler so boldly claiming that the sky was green because he said so. 

“When was the last time you even took me out when it wasn’t my idea?” Woods paused, attempting to remember (to which he couldn’t). “See? You don’t even remember. Go and hang out with your buddy, don’t bother coming back if you don’t want me anymore. I’ll get the hint.” You said dejectedly, walking off to your bedroom but stealing a glance at Woods, who only glared daggers at you, brows furrowed, looking almost annoyed with you. 

You lightly shut your bedroom door the exact moment Woods slammed the front door shut, the vibration of which could be felt against the wall and you could hear a distant clang and glass shatter. You placed your back against the wood, slowly sliding down into the floor and placing your head between your knees, sobbing.

You instantly regretted that ultimatum you just gave him, Woods was the only person you have after MK-Ultra, while he had everyone. He didn’t need you, you needed him. To ground you, to keep you sane.

---------

Woods stomped off to his truck, angrily shoving the key into the ignition. The drive to the bar was erratic and rage-filled, as he gripped the steering wheel with an iron clasp and swore under his breath, muttering counter arguments that he could’ve used in an attempt to justify his actions.

Arriving at the bar, he slammed the door shut, scanning the front of the building for Adler, whom he found almost immediately, nursing a cigarette as per usual. The person who stood next to him, however, utterly enraged Woods. Fucking Hudson.

Despite himself, Woods strided to where they were standing, waiting for him. 

“Hey Adler.” He greeted the scarred man. Adler nodded back in acknowledgement.“The fuck you doing here, Hudson?” 

“Well aren’t you in a great fuckin’ mood.” Hudson retorted, jabbing Woods’s shoulder. “Come on, we can argue inside when we’re sat down and drunk.”

Woods reluctantly obliged him, opening the door and scanning the room for a table, considering the bar was completely full. He found a high top table and sat down, beckoning for a server, for which he ordered three whiskeys and a round of shots for the table. 

Silence ensued for a brief moment before Adler broke it.

“So why the hell are you in a bad mood this time, Woods?” He asked, exasperated in a way that indicated that it wasn’t so uncommon for the sergeant to swing by in a sour mood. Woods immediately went on the defensive.

“The more important question is why the fuck Hudson is here? Don’t you have a wife and kids to celebrate Valentine’s with? She pissed at you too?” Woods spat, and Hudson sighed deeply.

“So that’s what this is about.” Adler chuckled to himself.

“If you have to know, Jenny’s not in town right now,” He explained. “Few days ago she was really upset and needed a vacation, so I told her I’d watch the kids while she went down to her mother’s house for some alone time.”

“Oh and so I guess you just left the kids at home by themselves.” Woods retorted, realizing belatedly that his statement was a bit unfair. For all his faults, he had always known the man to be a devoted husband and father. Hudson rolled his eyes.

“What kind of father do you take me for? This sixteen year old girl down the street needed some pocket money so I’m paying her to babysit them. Happy?” He rolled his eyes and Woods let the matter drop. “So now that I’ve answered your question, what has put you in an even worse mood than usual? Is it Bell?” Hudson asked.

Woods groaned. “Yes, okay? We got into a fight.” 

“About?” Adler beckoned Woods to explain.

“Well,” He began. “So a few weeks back, right? I went off on some rant that Valentine’s Day is stupid and we agreed to not celebrate it. But today I guess she went back on her word and got me a gift and made me look like an asshole for not getting her anything. Then we got into a fight. That’s it.”

“That can’t be it.” Hudson scoffed. This time it was Woods’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Fine.” He huffed. “Words were… exchanged.”

“And what the hell exactly did you say to her?” Adler piped up. Woods rolled his eyes again, slamming his beer bottle down. 

“Fine.” He huffed, beginning to regale every single gritty detail of a five minute fight, seeing as Hudson and Adler would’ve pried everything out of him some way or another. Throughout his story, Woods kept stuttering over his words, pausing, taking deep breaths. He still couldn’t get over that ultimatum. 

“You called her a bitch?” Hudson stared at Woods, his eyes glaring daggers. 

“That was your first mistake.” Adler snickered. 

“No, that was his hundredth mistake. Your first mistake, Woods, was ranting about Valentine’s Day in the first place.” Hudson paused, noticing the very displeased expression of the man across from him. Not wanting to get into a bar fight tonight, he chose his next words carefully. “Hear me out, I can tell you every reason why you’re wrong, if you want. If you don’t, that’s fine. Drink your pain away and let your relationship with Bell go down the drain.”

Tense silence filled the air as Woods retreated back into his head. He certainly hates Hudson, doesn’t think the man does a damn thing right, but he’s been married for the better half of a decade for a reason, right? Woods slowly nodded his head, it couldn’t hurt to hear the man out, and besides, even in his rage, even after the ultimatum you gave him, losing one of the only people he actually cared about was one he couldn’t bear.

“Okay. Well, as we all well know, Bell doesn’t remember anything about her life.” Hudson glanced at Adler, who suddenly found a keen interest in the glass of whiskey in front of him. “And in the past three years, she hadn’t been able to celebrate any holiday other than Christmas last year because of schedules. Everything is a first for her, making it special to her. So your first mistake was ranting about Valentine’s Day.”

“Wh- How?” Woods sighed. 

“Jesus Christ you’re so fucking dense.” Hudson mumbled to himself, rubbing his forehead. “It’s her first and she has someone who she loves dearly to celebrate it with. Probably felt like a gut punch. And still yet, she tried to make it special in spite of you. You practically spat on her for it. You called her a bitch and yelled instead of just accepting it and spending the night with her. That’s all she wanted.”

Oh. Maybe he was onto something.

“You are all Bell has.” Hudson stressed, the way he was explaining the situation to Woods, you would think he has experienced this exact situation. Perhaps he has, Woods did find that break up letter to Hudson from some girl like fifteen or so odd years ago. “And she’s probably feeling pretty neglected.”

“So why do you all of the sudden like Bell?” Adler asked, shame from the mention of what he did to you still painted on his expression.

“I like her well enough, and she’s proven herself.” Hudson took a sip from his drink and laughed softly. “But I like proving Woods wrong more.”

“Shut the fuck up, baldilocks.” Woods grumbled and Adler snorted, while Hudson let out a small chuckle at the creative insult. “I’ve gotta go.”

Unceremoniously, Woods removed himself from the high barstool, fumbling in his pocket for his wallet. He placed a twenty on the table, leaving without a word.

“Y’know he’s never gonna admit that sometimes you’re right.” Adler said, a cigarette between his teeth as he popped open his zippo lighter. 

“I know.” 

__

Woods glanced down at his watch as he approached the door to your shared apartment. It was only seven when he left. Fuck. He hoped you might still be awake. As quietly as he could, with a bouquet in one hand and his keys in the other, he unlocked the door.

“Bell?” He whispered, hoping to hear at least a TV or the radio playing. Instead, it was dark, with only a small glow emanating from the oven light in the kitchen. “Babe?”

No answer. Shit. He set his keys down on the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room and turned on a lamp. Gingerly, he made his way to your shared bedroom, opening the door softly.

On the bed, he found you asleep, facing towards the door and your hand lazily resting on the pillow on his side. He sighed, it was clear you had fallen asleep crying, your eyes puffy and cheeks red even in sleep. Woods took off his boots, setting down the bouquet on the nightstand. 

As stealthily as a man of his size could manage, he crawled into bed, facing towards you. He held the hand that was resting on his side in his own hand, bringing it to his, softly kissing your knuckle. 

“Bell.” He rested his free hand on your hip, rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs. Woods smiled softly as your eyes fluttered awake. Instead of returning his soft gestures, you simply grumbled, taking back your hand and flipping over on your other side. He didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t that. “Baby, I’m sorry.”

“You’re only saying that because you’re drunk. Go to bed, you'll feel differently in the morning.” You said, sniffling and barely audible. 

“I didn’t drink anything. Baby girl, I am so fucking sorry.” He scooched closer to you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you flush to his form. “I’m sorry for complaining about Valentine’s, I’m sorry for the beer, I’m sorry for calling you a bitch, I’m sorry for being a fucking jackass to my girl.”

Silence ensued for a few minutes, only interrupted with your occasional sniffle. You sighed, sitting up and facing towards him. You gave a sad smile.

“Frank, I just want us to be normal.” Your voice cracked as the tears began again. “I don’t want this shitty military stuff anymore. I just want to be a normal couple who does normal couple things.”

“Oh, baby girl. Honey, I am so sorry.” He shushed as he sat up, holding you in his arms so tightly, as if he was afraid you’d shatter into dust and leave him forever if he didn’t. 

“Baby, we can be normal. I’ll take you to the movies, I’ll take you on more dates, I’ll bring you flowers, I’ll win you the biggest stuffed animal at the fair, I’ll even celebrate Valentine’s Day with you.” He kissed your temple, pulling you even closer as sobs racked your body. “Please, I just need you in my life.”

“Please don’t ever leave me.” You whimpered.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, doll.” He held you, strong and steadfast, guilt from the events that transpired earlier sweeping over him. “I couldn’t live without you. God, I’m so fucking sorry, baby girl.”

“Me neither.” The two of you remained there, locked in an embrace and peacefully silent. For hours, you felt as if he was going to leave you, and without him, you’d quite literally have nothing. Without him, you’d have to crawl back to the man that hurt you the most. 

To have the normally gruff, brash Marine sergeant here, admitting to you how much he needed you in his life, it almost felt that for once in your life, that you were a normal person. Not some brainwashed freak.

“I got you a present.” He pulled his head back to look at you. A soft smile creeped across your features. “It’s not as good as those beers you got me,” He reached over the nightstand, presented the bouquet of flowers. “And it took me forever to find, considering every florist was either closed or sold out. But you deserve this, and so much more.”

“Oh, Frank. They’re perfect. Thank you so much.” You gave him a quick peck, looking over the bouquet with a proud smile on your face. Your first flowers from him.

“Bell, I also have a very important question for you.” He smiled earnestly at how your eyes were lit up, just from flowers. You nodded, beckoning him to ask. “Will you be my Valentine?” 

Your happiness turned into straight glee as you practically exploded with joy.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes!” You exclaimed, pushing him down and straddling him. You giggled and peppered his face with little kisses all over as he grinned, chuckling along with you. “Of course I will.” You said softly, pulling back as you placed the flowers on your side’s nightstand. 

You returned to his side, cuddling up flush against his chest as he smiled down at you, like today never even happened. Your hands drew small circles on his chest and you sighed contentedly, this was a feeling that you had missed these past few months. Just you and Woods -- nothing else.

“Baby?” He hummed. You let your eyes close, the threat of sleep drawing ever near.

“M’yeah?”

“We’ll do something more fun tomorrow, okay?” Woods grinned as he also let his eyes close, pulling you even tighter towards him.

“This is good enough for me.” You lazily smiled against his chest.

So needless to say I'm odds and ends But I'll be stumbling away Slowly learning that life is okay

[oddberryshortcake]

Jamil and Kalim have an inherently tragic relationship

Twst is full of a lot of unique relationships and interactions. A lot of the characters aren't friends in the traditional sense. What was the most compelling to me was the story of two boys tied together and torn apart by the society they live in. 

Jamil's family are servants to Kalim's family. Jamil was born a servant and expected to remain a servant. He was tasked with taking care of Kalim when he was a child himself.

I see a lot of people misinterpreting the reason behind Jamil's overblot, both not having sympathy for his past or not liking him because he's mean and Kalim is nice. It's not that Jamil necessarily wants to be mean; he's an entirely different person when he's allowed to enjoy himself or engaging in something he loves- 

But 99% of the time, he's trapped, and he knows he's trapped. 

He's been in servitude since he was born. His own parents command that he always let Kalim win in everything they do- competitions, grades, everything. They ask their own child, who is incredibly talented and brilliant, to purposefully fail. They drill into him that Kalim is more important than him, and he gets punished for even daring to ask Kalim to play something else while they're literally children. 

All the adults around him echo the same sentiments. They know Jamil is talented and smart, but he isn't important. He should be giving Kalim every victory that belongs to him; he should put his line on the line for Kalim constantly. 

He almost died for Kalim's sake, and with the constant assassination attempts, it's likely that one of them might just be enough to do him in. 

The main point of conflict for him is not only is he meant to suffer in silence, unable to communicate with anyone how he feels because no one cares. He's not able to do what he wants to do or be what he wants to be…and Kalim unfortunately didn't see this until it was too late. 

Jamil has tried to communicate with Kalim subtly or even telling him up front "Please don't do this" "Ask me first before you do something like this" and it always falls on deaf ears. Not because Kalim doesn't care, but he doesn't notice, and his upbringing has shielded him from noticing stuff like that. 

Jamil resents Kalim for him, albeit unintentionally, being a big part of the reason why he isn't free. Jamil's one shot of getting to be himself by going to school overseas was diminished as soon as Kalim followed him, and so his job continued and never ends. 

With Kalim, it's an entirely different story that's just as sad. Kalim definitely has more power in the relationship, but he's just as powerless in the life he lives up to this point. 

Kalim suffers from multiple kidnappings and multiple assassination attempts. He's been poisoned as a child repeatedly, even poisoned by family members that want him dead just to get closer to his father's wealth. 

He didn't do anything except be born as the eldest son and heir to a fortune. 

If he can't even trust his own family members not to kill him in painful and violent ways, then who can he trust? 

Jamil was all he had. He was the only person who never attempted to poison him, who always did everyone with him (He was forced to.) Jamil always takes care of him, and always helps him (he was forced to.) Despite everything that happens to him, it is Jamil's near-death experience on his behalf that he takes to heart. 

How is a child supposed to grapple with the fact that people want him dead? Some of his family wants him dead. Jamil was probably the only person he could trust unconditionally (and even that wasn't true) 

When Jamil left for school, he likely had no one. He was left with his family members, some of whom he couldn't fully trust, even with his optimism and desire for happiness. He wanted to be with his best friend (who was forced to be his best friend and didn't want him there)

Even when Jamil betrayed him, Kalim was willing to just take his word for it and let it go because he would've believed him regardless if he knew he used him. Because Jamil wouldn't do that. 

Kalim was kept in the dark about so much. There's a chance he doesn't know who's been trying to kill him; he wasn't told that Jamil was forced to give him his accomplishments, and he didn't know his position of housewarden was bought for him. All he knew was that Jamil was his friend and that he loved him.

They're stuck together, Jamil wants to have freedom, and Kalim doesn't want to let go. It's neither of their fault their lives turned out this way. Their home has strict hierarchies. 

I'm sure when they were young, very young before Jamil's parents and other adults started enforcing certain rules, these two could play as normal. Their positions as rich heir and servant wouldn't have mattered until it did. 

Kalim can treat Jamil as a friend, he can love him with all of his big heart, but Jamil still has an obligation to take care of him. They aren't equal as they are, so Kalim isn't the same as a friend in Jamil's eyes, and that's so sad. 

I always hope, if twst as a story gets to this point, that Kalim will set Jamil free like Aladdin freeing the genie, so that Jamil can experience a life owned by only himself. 

Maybe someday he'll come back, and what kept them apart as children won't be there anymore, Kalim can have a friend, and Jamil can live his life, and they can both get past their trauma. I have so many thoughts about them, this is too long. Just manifesting any development (because Chapter 5 did have some and I love it but I needed MORE)

[ran-orimoto]

[ Looooooooong time ago, in March ,I reckon, I posted a The Rescuers Junzumi AU sketchdump I’m very affectionate to and it wasn’t really something that unpredictable I would eventually write something for it soon. In truth, I initially wrote this very small oneshot just for myself in my free time (I stupidly feel cringe while writing about AUs and that’s a very stupid part of me I’m trying defeating just like the fankids one), but then a friend convinced me I could share it with the world as a prompt for Flufftober. I mean, why not, I told myself. Am I commiting some crime throwing stories I put 0 efforts in into the net🤣🤣🤣? Mind you, I did polish this ,tho. It used to be terrible ahahah. ]

{ Intermezzo you wouldn’t expect } aka a short one-shot for Fluffoctober about a The Rescuers AU -> •Stormy night

XXX

“Signorina Izumi, keine Sorge! No need to worry! I’m an expert in reading maps and orientating myself even in the thickest mist, ah!” The stocky man opened a piece of wrinkled and yellowish paper. His brown eyes, darkened by the blackness of a rainy night, were apparently scanning the drawings before them as he frantically searched for something he would never find. Of course.

Actually, Izumi had noticed it from the start: how he hadn’t paid a crumb of attention to what he was doing, attracted and distracted by who knew what else he might think it was more interesting than their invaluable mission. For example, if he had been focused on the map he was holding for real, he would have noticed it was upside down from the unnatural shape the venetian calle and the lagoon had, making it seem a whole sea was going to overflow and swallow the entire city.

Due to her usual courtesy and politeness, she had been wondering how he should tell him about that, if she also should at that point since, after all, she could rely on herself and let him play those detective games in his silly world.

Who had ever needed a companion in a first place? She had been travelling around the world for ages knowing she could only trust her own strength, her determination no one else, -modestly speaking-, owned with such an intensity, her spirit. The only mate she had ever needed was the voice of the wind, as kind and reassuring as always, immutable, no matter where she was sent to.

Did those people from up there really believe she couldn’t deal with that situation on her own, she couldn’t take care of herself, she needed someone by her side, a man, nonetheless. From her perspective, from what she had been able to grasp so far, he was the one clearly needing help the most between them, not even being able to speak italian properly and messing it with japanese and german words.

And yet, she had chosen him when they had allowed her to do that, -at least!-. She had, though she had just assisted to a scene in which he was about to get electrocuted after he had voluntereed for the job. She didn’t even know who he truly was, now that she thought about that…Not that she had ever felt that need, either: to socialize with others from the society.

It was enough to be aware they all were adults wanting to help unlucky kids in the best way they could, through money or other types of support, -even, yes, those kinds consisting in sticking your nose in issues that were much bigger than you actually are-. What their life was like out there, who they actually were had never been important. Nobody cared, -and should know, in her opinion-, about the fact she was a flight attendant who would often find herself on modelling magazines or cat walks. And ,in return, she would survive in the obscurity, not ever finding out who he was, where he came from, how old he was, if he was married or not, - without doubts, the latter option held the predictable truth in itself-.

She had always been la Signorina Orimoto, but he had been quick at cutting to the chase and calling her la Signorina Izumi, showing no decency but not surprising her with that in the least.

And he was…Junpei-San…? He had introduced himself like that and she had also heard others addressing him in that way or with a simple Junpei. Against all the odds, he seemed to be known by many members and some seemed to appreciate him a ton, despite the clumsiness he had never managed to hide.

”Junpei-San,” A gloved hand on her chest, she finally interrupted his mumbling, which was the reason why she had eventually decided she couldn’t just let him be like that. The incoherent noises coming from his mouth were so annoying they were interfering with her own stream of consciousness. “Junpei-San!”

”Yes, Signorina Izumi!” Like a soldier, he abruptly straightened his back, but managed to strike a clumsy yet sweet smile at the same time. Slightly puzzled, she blinked for an instant, taking a step backwards without wanting to.

”The map is upside down,” She said, as dryly as you would expect from such an expert at keeping her temper under control. That was one of her good qualities she exploited to promptly make that sudden emotion making her heart beat at a weird pace, even if, again, for just a second, slip in the background of the most trivial of her thoughts,ready to be forgotten and, consequently, soon fade.

In response to her comment, Junpei didn’t immediately react. He stood still, lowered his gaze to the panorama of streets and squeezed his orbs to find that detail, that very little detail, -of course, she is attempting to be sarcastic, santo cielo!-, he had been missing. And then…

“Ja, du hast Recht. Ehm, you’re right, Signorina Izumi, it’s…Upside down.”

”Yeah. It is.” Feeling the time they had at disposal slithering away from her grip, she struggled not to add a pinch of rudeness to her tone, so rare when it came to her, a blonde woman in her fourties enwrapped in a long purple dufflecoat; the symbol of elegance and refinement; a complete oxymoron next to the man in a baggy raincoat.

But Junpei-San‘s fashion tastes were not the main problem concerning him.

”Then…Let’s fix it,” He had begun stuttering and shaking, hiccuping too, but not because they had been wandering in the chilly rain for a while. Her remark had provoked a row of side effects on his body that might have been funny to observe, -she admitted it-, could have made her even giggle in amusement, if she hadn’t been counting each second flying away from them just like that kid, that poor kid.

They couldn’t allow themselves to indulge in more foolery. No.

Her eyebrows twitched and she pulled the paper away from him, accidentally dropping the umbrella he had asked her to hold in his stead go, -it had incredibly dawned on him he couldn’t read his map, if he continued on keeping the umbrella above her head like a true knight would, and per Dio!-.

The umbrella fell on the slippery ground and let heavy drops pour their cascade on their hoods all at once, on the locks of their hair escaping from their shelters. Her legs shaking due to crawling waves of cold, her fists clenching more and more in growing irritation, Izumi couldn’t help gasping: that was it! That was the end! That was the straw breaking the camel‘s back: he was blatantly influencing her with his manners! She would absolutely have to call the SOS society and come up with a valid justification to explain her decision to give up.

”Signorina Izumi…”

“I…I…I just…”

Her exasperated yell cut through the curtain of humidity and ,maybe, -she sensed without being able to explain-, a veil made of something else as well.

She didn’t look at Junpei, whether he had been startled or had grown disgusted by that display of utter embarassment. Indeed, she didn’t even want to. May he believe she had gone nuts and wasn’t the admirable Signorina Izumi he had been staring at with dreamy eyes for the whole day: she wouldn’t be touched by a change of heart happening inside him at all. If he left her in the freezing atmosphere of the incoming night, it wouldn’t make any difference.

But maybe she had always known he wouldn’t, as it suddenly dawned on her the one who would have run away from him, the person who had found himself in front of that side of hers, would have been her herself in other circumstances.

Instead, she had remained there and had silently, unconsciously waited. She waited for that sweaty yet warm hand to defeat the low temperatures of both outside and inside, at a first and single touch of her shoulder. It sent all those nagging shivers and tremors away with who knew what kind of magical trick, and, most of all, succeeded in reminding her Izumi Orimoto, la Signorina Orimoto never threw in the towel, never let stress dominate her clear logic, no matter how hard it was to find a lead, to operate as quickly as possible to rescue an innocent soul.

”Here,” There was another kind of rain that was falling that night. Quieter, more reserved, shyer, it let itself be seen and felt only by Junpei‘s hesitant thumb. She couldn’t help sighing in relief, leaning her cheeks towards that pleasant sensation. “Let’s go home. We will be luckier tomorrow when the Sun comes out again and…The lightnings go away. They are approaching…And very fast.”

”Home?” She echoed, covering his gulps with her suspended reticence.

”Yes,” As if not wanting to let her be carried by the mistral, he grabbed her hand before bending to pick the umbrella up. “I will prepare a good hot chocolate for you. To be honest, I can’t read maps that well, but I‘m not lying I’m good at preparing those. Someday I want to bring a whole tray for the society ah ah.”

…

Chi mi salverà ?

Who will rescue me?

…

I will, no, we will. Wait for us, endure, wherever you are. Give me a little time to…To…

…

Through storms, rain and black nights, never fail to do what’s right.

But ,why not, let yourself sip a good mug of hot chocolate while looking at that mess from the window, as well.

[forkingandcountry-if]

I just read your demo and wanted to thank yoh for sharing you story! It's so good and intresting and i already can feel the tension

My question is regardless how will we be able to play our MC and their attitude towards their siblings after the "you're now the heir" fiasco. I'm ready to throw hands with second son

Because, and maybe i lack perspective needed, Godley did his little sibling so dirty. Oh, you're not willing to abandon your god but perfectly fine with burdening 13 yo child with something so huge?

Neifile has her own perfectly good reasons but Godley?? Shame

But again, maybe i lack the historical context needed

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far and can already sense the tension building.

Your query is answered under the cut.

As for your question, I think it comes down to historical context. In this setting, breaking an oath is considered a grievous offense—not just a personal failure, but one that drags the entire house's name through the mud. When Godley took his oath, it wasn’t just to his society or the church, though those are significant; it was an oath to his God. Renouncing it could have devastating consequences. At worst, it could lead to your entire house being excommunicated, effectively placing you outside the faith. This would open the door for other houses and even your own vassals to depose you, invade your lands, or imprison and execute you. At best, it would result in your house being ostracized at court, branded as godless oath-breakers, which would severely diminish your standing and influence.

That said, you’re absolutely free to be upset with Godley (I won’t take away the MC's autonomy!). But it’s important to recognize that Godley is bound by important obligations. His oath to the church is as unbreakable as Neifile's marriage contract to Peter. From Godley's perspective, having you inherit—despite your young age—is the lesser evil. For him to inherit the lordship would be tantamount to declaring war on the faith itself.

I hope this provides some insight into his decision!

[ryoskuna]

⭑ morning glory | kisuke urahara x reader (gender-neutral).

notes: there’s implied angst with reader and kisuke’s relationship. how that angst applies, I will not be elaborating just yet. i don’t want to specify if this is pre-tybw arc or post, but feel free to guess though. is this just a memory of kisuke’s or a hallucination ? anyways, enjoy the sweetness. this is the first thing that i’ve written and posted here in years, so bear with me.  i may post more character things but with my ocs...

dedication: to meena / @hellinistical​

inspiration: morning glory - oasis. ( x. )

summary: urahara may be good at a lot of things, but cooking is one area he could work on a little more. but he tries, and that should count for something, right ?

kisuke had let you slip through his fingers once before. It wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t (though he was lying to himself - he was too late, too slow, his fault), or at least that was what yoruichi had told him. as you might imagine, he wasn’t convinced, but he never showed it in front of you, and you never brought it up. if you were aware of the part he played in what happened to you (or the lack thereof), he wondered if you would come back to him every night and stay every morning, tending to little things around the store and working your own schedule around his and every reason he gave when he had to help ichigo or the soul society who he still cared for, though they banished him.

they might have turned their back on him, but he hadn’t turned his back on them. he had tried, for what it was worth, but he hadn’t succeeded. 

his fingers curled around the cool metal handle of the pan as he set it on the stove, careful not to rummage too loudly through the kitchen lest he risk waking you up from your slumber. last night, you hadn’t slept so well, from the moment he peeked in and checked on you until he finally stopped his work in his lab for the night and laid next to you. you tossed and turned, restless, and it wasn’t until the exhaustion swept over you that you succumbed to sleep. 

kisuke wasn’t much of a cook - that was more of tessai’s area - yet, the scientist had resorted to trying. 

for you. 

one of the most important things to him, besides his mind.

how hard could it be? it was just mixing things together - eggs, flour, sugar, milk, and butter - until it was liquid enough for him to put into the pan. he watched as the butter melted on the metal, hearing it nearly sizzle before he put the liquid onto the pan. he wanted to hurry and finish before you woke up.  though his surprises were more elaborate and dramatic, and you had long since grown used to it, he supposed this one wasn’t up to his normal mischievous deeds. 

he turned over the cooked food, tuning into the sound of your feet creeping along the floor. he could hear your hand sliding along the wall, steading yourself as you watched the blonde, still with his hat on, hum to himself as he stood over the stove. you were expecting tessai to be there, with the sweet smell that wafted through the air, but kisuke standing there was more of a pleasant surprise. 

“aha, good morning, sleepyhead.” kisuke chuckled to himself as if it were the funniest thing he could have possibly thought of. 

“good morning, kisuke,” you remark, and he turns to look over his shoulder, tipping the brim of his hat with his suddenly free hand as if he were a chivalrous cowboy. The grin on his lips is absolutely filled with his signature mischief, though his gaze only speaks of familiar fondness at the sight of you, still rubbing sleep from your eyes. he also doesn’t miss the smile that appears on your features - small, so if he blinked too soon, he might have missed it, but he didn’t. it works its way into his memories for him to store later and think of with the same fondness.   “what are you up to now?”

“making breakfast for you, y/n.” he glances back to the supposed “pancakes” though they’re flatter than he intended.  a frown forms on his lips, and he turns away from you before you see it, though you still walk over to his side. he glances out the corner of his eye, the sleeve of his haori slipping down his shoulder as you rest your cheek against his arm. “though the pancakes didn’t turn out as I planned…”

you pick up one of the “pancakes”, cooling on a plate next to the stove with a dried fork in the dish drainer, tear a piece off, and put it into your mouth. He watches expectantly, attentively seeking your reaction. 

“you can say you don’t like it.” the shop owner remarks, and you nearly laugh as if you weren’t in the midst of swallowing your food. 

“it’s definitely too flat for a pancake… but…  it’ll make a good crepe,” you decide, moving to the fridge and pulling fruit out. “I’ll wash these off,” you gesture to the bowl of berries, and then hold up the can of whipped cream, and the bottle of chocolate sauce now in your arms. “thank you,” you add.

“you’re welcome,” he says softly. kisuke’s expression hints at being awe-struck, though it fades away as he gives a little nod and goes back to humming as if there had been no interruptions. 

“keep going, kisuke,” you instruct, turning the sink on, water rushing out.

“you got it!” he chuckled to himself before he then glances over to you. “are you sure, y/n?” he asks again, his voice dropping - losing its mirth momentarily, his eyes obscured by the shadow cast by the brim of his heat. 

you chuckle, “yes, kisuke, i’m certain.”

after a moment, he flicks the knobs on the stove and turns them off, all the crepes now stacked onto a plate. His knuckles brush fondly over yours, yet you miss the look in his eyes - the way he touches you as if to make sure that you are certainly there, standing next to him. you turn your hand over and then raise your hand to lift the brim of his hat some, and he only smiles in return, raising your hand to his mouth and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. 

if this was a dream, he just needed a little time to wake up.

[lestappenforever]

feel free to ignore this if you’re not comfortable talking about it but i agree with you about the different body type comment. some bodies just look different than others no matter how much or how hard you work out, and it has been such a source of insecurity for me because i've always wanted a thigh gap and i just don't think i will ever get one. and hearing/seeing things being said by "influencers" about eating and working out just brings me down so often. i wish they could preach being health rather than being "fit"

Anon, that is exactly right. Body types are different, and that means they will look different, even if you try to follow the same diet/exercise regime as someone you see online. And that's okay! Different body types are beautiful! That's the fucking beauty of humanity, honestly, because what a dreadful, dull world it would be if we all looked the same!

I am so sorry to hear you're struggling with insecurities, anon. I don't know how old you are, but I'm turning 30 this year and I'm so fucking relieved I wasn’t a kid/teenager during the modern age of social media. I remember wanting a thigh gap so fucking bad when I was in my teens, and I couldn't understand why I couldn't achieve one, and that was without being bombarded with videos and photos and "tips" from fitness influencers on every social media app. But as I grew older, I realized that my body build just won't allow me to have a thigh gap. My teammates when I played handball used to call me "thunder thighs", and guess what? I learned to love that! I learned to embrace it! Because I realized that in order for me to ever manage to achieve a thigh gap, I would have had to become seriously unhealthy. I would have to starve myself and stop being active and make myself ill because that’s the only way my thighs could have shrunk to a small enough size that there could have ever been a gap between them. And let me tell you, anon, I have been so much happier since coming to that realization. I've gone from wanting a thigh gap, to realizing that I would much rather have thighs that could crush the skulls and egos of men.

Some bodies are more naturally equipped to have a thigh gap, and mine simply isn’t. At all. And if yours isn’t either, then that's perfectly okay! So please don't compare yourself to the influencers you see online, who not only might have a completely different body type than yours, but who also make a living off of posting photos and videos and whatnot that aren’t actually natural in a lot of cases. Or even real, in some extreme cases. And please don't measure how "fit" you are based on whether there’s a gap between your thighs or not, because I assure you that's not the standard.

Being healthy is so much more important than being fit, and I, too, wish more influencers would focus on that as opposed to what can be completely unrealistic body expectations. Society as a whole would be much better off if they did.

If you are healthy, anon, then that's what matters. Not how big or small your thighs are, I promise. ❤️

[mcmactictac]

god psychology is so INTERESTING we are so back boys. Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation is what we’re excited about today. Time for me to ramble about psychology!!

So intrinsic motivation is when you want to engage in an activity because you enjoy it and find it interesting. So something like playing video games, watching tv, drawing, writing etc. whatever it is you do just because you like doing it.

And extrinsic motivation is the things you do because you have to or feel you SHOULD. Whether there is a reward for doing the thing or pressure to do the thing, those are both extrinsic motivation. So if your parents want you to go to law school, or if you’ll get money if you go to work.

now the thing that’s fascinating is the RELATION between the two. Because in the simplest of terms, intrinsic motivation is seen as “better” than extrinsic motivation. And you’ve probably heard that before like oh you shouldn’t rely on other people to provide you happiness or whatever like it comes from within. Chances are you’ve thought “cool theory bro. Not as easy in practice though”. (And to be clear, it’s not. Desire for external validation is a whole other ball game)

Now the really interesting thing comes from the studies! They did this with a bunch of young kids and they gave them a bunch of random toys to play with. The toy they were testing was magic markers They essentially had three groups for the kids.

Kids who played with the markers of their own free will, just cause they liked them and didn’t get rewarded for it

Kids who played with the markers out of free will but then got an unexpected reward for it

And kids who were told they’d get a reward if they played with the markers

So they did all that then came back a few weeks later to test it again with the same group, but no rewards this time. And people who played with the markers of their own free will and got no reward played with the markers just as much as before (this is an example of intrinsic motivation)

BUT both the kids in group 2 and 3 played with the markers LESS when there wasn’t a reward. Like it makes sense for group 3 you take away the reward and you lose the motive. But group 2 originally had intrinsic motivation! But by providing that reward for something they did intrinsically they were less likely to do it in the future because they wouldn’t get a reward out of it.

Which to me is already super interesting but like when you apply it to real life it’s even more so!! Like let’s look at the job market with this in mind for a second. Let’s say you’re a teenager, who is financially supported by adults in your life. You don’t NEED money or a job. But you’ve got a really strong love of animals. So you go and volunteer at your local animal shelter. You do this because you love it, and are intrinsically motivated to do it. Let’s say you work there for a bit, and then you’re offered a job! You go yeah I like being here, I’ll take it! So now you’re getting paid to work at the animal shelter. Great, because you’re making money! You work there for a few months, but let’s say the shelter is losing money. They can’t pay people anymore, they have to work on a strictly volunteer basis. You don’t have that as a job anymore. The chances of you going back to volunteer are significantly lower than if you had never had a job at all. You’ve lost your external reward, and that took over your internal motivation.

It’s not that people don’t like things! It’s the power that reward has on you! People experience that intrinsic motivation ALL the time! But when you like or are good at something people try to make money off of it (understandable given the society we live in) but because of that you aren’t doing it for enjoyment anymore you’re doing it for money and you need money to live! So because we’ve created a society where money is so important and people are trying to capitalize off of their hobbies (again, understandable) people are actually way more likely to LOSE interest in those things because of it! It’s not that you’re just miserable and hate everything you used to love your motivation has just changed!!

Idk idk this isn’t very eloquent at all but I think looking at society like this and then the impact capitalism has on our well being and motivation because it essentially demands extrinsic motivation when we are objectively happier and more satisfied when we are intrinsically motivated is very very interesting

[payattentiontothescreen]

Bridgerton Rewatch S1E2 - Shock and Delight (Part 1)

Hey y'all. I'm back with episode 2 of my Bridgerton rewatch.

Every time a birth scene happens in Bridgerton I am reminded of why I don’t want kids. This one is the worst, I think.

I know Sarah and Lady Danbury are said to be close friends and Lady Danbury is the Queen’s closest confidant, which explains why she was there for those births. I get that. But I have this stupid little headcanon that Lady Danbury was present for the birth of every kid on “their side” after they were given titles and peerage.

Sarah’s last words being “I finally gave him a son” fucking haunts me. It hammers home that, even in her dying breath, she has been living and breathing for her shitty husband. Like, the second she fulfilled her duty, she was wiped from the Earth.

Rege-Jean Page is such an amazing comedic actor. The disdain in his voice when he says “promenade” has me cracking up every time.

Violet is beaming about how she has prepared Daphne for everything married life has to offer. Violet, my girl, you haven’t prepared Daphne for ANYTHING.

More acting praise. Phoebe Deynover and Rege-Jean Page have such easy chemistry. They flow together so well.

If there’s anything this show gets right, it’s shitty siblings. Philippa and Prudence are the archetypical bitchy older sisters.

The Baroness Lady Portia Featherington looked her daughters straight in the eyes and told them that pregnancy is contagious. Hilarious, iconic, I love it.

The whole “birds and bees” plot line in the first season intrigues me. I didn’t know a lot about the show when I watched it the first time other than it being steamy and taking place in an alternate regency era where racism is solved. I wasn’t expecting this close examination of the importance of comprehensive sex education, especially in regard to hard conversations between mothers and daughters.

The scene in the parlor when Eloise comes in and asks how women get pregnant lives rent-free in my brain. I can quote along with it at this point and I feel no shame.

Anthony Slander is back. The way that Anthony treats Daphne is so indicative of how he almost ruins his relationships in the next season. This happens a lot but I am specifically referencing when Daphne (with the signature Bridgerton Sass™) reminds Anthony that Berbrooke never actually proposed to her. Anthony immediately equates that playful jab with disrespect. To him, this ADULT(ish) woman having thoughts about who she is being promised to is disrespectful. He drives me nuts in this season, holy shit.

Quick sidebar, the look on Daphne’s face when Anthony says “Colin’s [danced a couple of times together at a ball] with Penelope Featherington” is so great. It’s almost like she’s putting the pieces together of “oh, they’d actually be really cute together” and I love it.

I love the texture the bare-knuckle boxing scenes give to the show. It doesn’t feel out of place. It all belongs in the show. The scenes with Will/in the ring add depth both to the world and the characters. 

Speaking of Will, I don’t know how much he was in the books, if at all, but he is such a good character. His position in society adds layers to the world, especially with the way his story has been developing.

Something that Shonda Rhimes does really well is quick wit. That is on full display when Anthony gets into the ring with Simon. The dialogue in that scene is so punchy (no pun intended) and shows a lot about how these two characters feel about each other. Also, I think it’s very interesting that the only way Anthony can land a blow on Simon at all is when he distracts him. From what I can tell/remember, that’s the only time Anthony hits Simon.

Minor thing, there was a lot more swearing in season 1 than there was in season 2. That was kind of disappointing.

I’d like to take this time to shout out the casting director. Beyond the main cast (which is fantastic, don’t get me wrong), the kids who play the younger versions of Simon are incredible. They’re all so adorable that it makes all the shit he goes through even harder to watch, which is impressive given we’re watching a child with a neurological disorder be abused by his shitty father.

Penelope is such a complicated character and I love that for her. She does care for the people she loves and is very kind. But she has been abused and neglected for so long that the only way she can think to regain any power is by becoming Lady Whistledown. This isn’t excusing her behavior, she does truly vile things with the power she has. But it makes her so much more than just another sweet wallflower, which is a really flat character on its own.

It would be so funny if the Bridgertons just stopped being surprised when Queen Charlotte invites Violet for tea at some point later in the series.

Again, this will come in 2 parts because I talk to much for Tumblr.

[kittenwhodidntwanttogiveup]

Johnny and Rani as best friends forever Fanfiction

I am not able to overcome the evil that was done to my boi Johnny. So here we have a FF rewritten from the point Rani asks him to come with them. ( it's also on a03 under the same name!) 

Just the both of us 

„Come with us! This is your chance to escape too!”, Rani pleaded holding onto his arm.

But Johnny only shook his head.

“My brother needs me”, with one last look at Rani and her husband he left. He had to get to his brother. It was the only right thing to do. There was no one else left for him.

Only his brother and his antics that had taken overhand the last two weeks.

And hadn’t had Johnny the task of taking care of the whole operation for a few days and talking with people, normal people that weren’t crazy like his brother, he would have followed him blindly everywhere.

But now after meeting Rani and Adi and realizing there were still people out there trying to live a normal life in these hard times, he wasn’t so sure if the change his brother would bring would be better than what they already had.

Thinking of the woman he had get to know over the last few days he understood that you don’t need a working society and someone ruling over you but a loving partner at your side and you will get thru things. Even if they are hard. Even if it’s the sick taking hold of you. Even if it’s the end of the world.

As long as you were with someone that loved, adored and appreciated you, things wouldn’t be that bad.

Enjoying the time left with someone that thought you were worth it and not just a burden. Was it family by blood or chosen ones. And thinking of it he might be happier with Rani and Adi than he would be with his own brother.

Even not knowing her for long he thought they might have a connection. A different one than he had with his brother. He might even call them friends if times were different.

And that realization made him stop in his tracks. He had a friend. Against everything his brother told him his whole life that no one ever would care about him. That he was the only one that would ever protect him and would love him. But it wasn’t true. It wasn’t when the world was still okay, and it wasn’t now. But now was the moment Johnny realized that. That Rani wouldn’t only choose for him to be with them but almost begged for him to follow.

To go his own way and not just follow his brother that had manipulated him his whole life. He had the chance to change his life and he would take it. Rather now than when it would be too late, and his brother would choose his ending and not he himself.

So, Johnny rushed to get his things. He packed everything that was important to him and grabbed his guitar. He could see himself with Rani sitting in the sun and he could show her some simple notes to play. Her husband at the side watching them with glee in his eyes. He smiled at that thought and hurried to find them again.

The trouble that was taking place was enough for no one to notice anything. Now would be the perfect timing for all of them to leave.

When Johnny ran into the main hall, he was greeted with a crying Rani standing over a stature he saw her holding multiple times.

“Hey”, he started and approached her slowly, “What-what is happening?”

“He isn’t coming”, she sniffed.

“Who?”, Johnny asked and got even closer, but Rani only sniffed louder.

He wanted to comfort her but at the same time he knew they had to hurry and leave as fast as they could. In the moment people were occupied but not forever.

“The doctor? You mean you husband isn’t coming with us?”, he couldn’t hide his utterly lack of understanding. He had never pictured them leaving without Adi. Sure, he had become so taken up from his work but never enough to not come with them? All he did was for his wife and now he didn’t want to come. To lose his only chance to ever be free and be with his wife. Johnny couldn’t grasp it.

“No. He cannot leave his work behind. Not even for me”, she sniffed again and looked at the stature standing on his belongings he left behind.

“All he ever did was for you”, Johnny said and tried hugging her with all his things still in his hands.

“Yeah…”, she straightened her back and looked forward, “but he couldn’t stop when I asked. Things have changed. And it took me long enough for me to see it. I still love him but he’s losing himself in this work that I don’t want, no I don’t need, anymore. I think it is my time to leave without him now. Be on my own for my last ride.”

“I would come along if you still want me to”, was the only thing Johnny got out.

He wasn’t the one to judge her decision. In the end he had become friends with Rani and not the doctor. She asked him to come, and he would follow her gladly everywhere she wanted to go. He had nowhere else to go. She was the reason he was about to leave his brother and everything he knew so far behind. All for her. Well and for himself in a way. To finally stand up for himself and make decisions on his own.

For a second Johnny thought she looked thru him instead of at him but then her eyes focused on him.

“You’re coming?”

Johnny smiled and nodded now stepping back from the half hug and showing off his backpack and guitar.

“You asked and I realized I need to be free. I was controlled for all my life. For the first years my father controlled me and after that my brother. Now it’s time for me to just be me.”

“Just the both of us then”, Rani said almost laughing.

“Just the both of us”, Johnny echoed smiling at her.

[mcx7demonbros]

May The King Live Forever

Ft. Solomon

C/W. Slight mention of UK politics.

Summary. Solomon gets emotional and nostalgic when he hears a familiar lyrics in London.

No proofread.

The day was an important day to the British people - the coronation of their new king, after the passing of their much beloved queen the previous year. Many were proud to see their tradition live on, others not so much, they wanted to do away with the monarchy. And there were people who were apathetic towards the event. One of them was a particular white-haired sorcerer. His reason wasn’t like anyone else. Solomon was an immortal and he had lived far too long to care about a worldly affair like a coronation of a king. If one had lived to the age when even the combination of the reign years from Alfred the Great to the new king could only measure up to 1/3 of their life, they couldn’t help but feel the same as Solomon.

Everything fun is closed today, not even the Sorcerers’ Society works. So boring. Solomon thought to himself while walking through the busy street. Ah, maybe I should call Buer and have him play a game with me…if only I could meet MC today. Solomon sighed before he decided to go in a small restaurant on the side of the street. He loves eating his own cooking, but on there are days he doesn’t feel like cooking and would just eat out.

“Waiter, can you get me a-

“ZADOK THE PRIEST…”

Solomon was preparing to order his food when a familiar lyric reached his ears. He turned to the TV hanging in the corner of the restaurant. Zadok the Priest was being sung as they were preparing to crown the new king.

“…AND NATHAN THE PROPHET

ANOINTED SOLOMON KING.

AND ALL THE PEOPLE REJOICED AND SAID:

LONG LIVE THE KING! LONG LIVE THE KING!

GOD SAVE THE KING!

MAY THE KING LIVE FOREVER. AMEN.

HALLELUJAH.”

“In the Name of the Lord our God, I anoint thee the King of Israel.” The priest Zadok poured the precious oil on the head of the boy.

“Long live the King! Long live King Solomon!” The crowd shouted in joy.

“May you live forever!” Other people cheered.

“Sir…sir…”

“Ah, sorry…it’s just something was on my mind.”

The waiter took out some tissues from the box on the table and gave them to Solomon. The sorcerer understood that he must have cried remembering the past and the waiter was courteous enough to not point it out.

“Thank you. Oh, I was preparing to order the food, right. Please get me a portion of cream pasta and make it a take out.”

“Alright, be right back with your take out.” The waiter left in a hurry.

After the waiter left, the white-haired sorcerer let himself lost in thought again.

“May the king live forever, huh. That aged very well.” The sorcerer mumbled to himself.

That same night,

Ring…ring…ring

You picked up your ringing phone.

“MC,” you heard Solomon’s voice on the other side. “Are you free right now? I want to tell you a story.”

That night, you got to hear about Solomon’s coronation, a coronation that is still being sung about till the modern time.

Note to self - reblog this ob May 6, 2023.

Obey Me Solomon Masterlist

[henrysglock]

Why do you throw bigoted insults at groups only tangentially related to the Ao3 DDoS attack? Even though they did nothing to you? Hmm? You think you need to attack the entire group, but you don’t. You don’t. Oh, but I know you’re just scared. I was scared once too. I know what it’s like to be alone with my thoughts. To be deprived of escapism for an unlimited amount of time.

Like you, I didn’t fit in with the other children. Something was wrong with me. All the teachers and the doctors said I was… “Broken,” they said. My parents thought more outside time might just cure me. It was absurd. As if the world here would be any more bearable without a form of escapism.

But then… to my surprise, our new home provided a discovery. And a newfound sense of purpose. I found a nest of queer writers living on a website: Ao3. Most people detest fanfiction sites. They think the people who frequent them are "cringe". And yet, I found them endlessly fascinating. More than that, I found a great comfort in them. A kinship. Like me, the writers there are deranged creatives. And deeply misunderstood. They are gods of our world. The most important of all creators. They make dry, desolate canon material flourish. But the homophobic DDoS attackers were disrupting this thriving community.

You see, homophobes are a unique type of pest, multiplying and poisoning our world, all while enforcing a structure of their own. A deeply unnatural structure. Where others saw order and moral purity, I saw a straitjacket. A cruel, oppressive world dictated by made-up rules. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades. Each cisheteronormative life a faded, lesser copy of the one before. Wake up, eat, work, sleep, reproduce, and die. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for it all to be over. All while performing in a silly, terrible play, day after day. I could not do that. I struggled to close off my mind, deny who I was, and join in their madness. I struggled to pretend. And I realized I didn’t have to. I could make my own worlds. I could restore balance to a broken society. Social propaganda…but for good.

As I wrote, I realized I could do more than I possibly imagined. I could reach into characters, into their minds, their memories. I became an explorer. I saw myself as I truly was. To the world, I presented myself as good, normal cishet. But like everything else in this world, it was all a lie. A terrible lie. Gay fanfiction showed me who I really was. It held up a mirror.

My naive father believed it was a mental illness. But my mother somehow knew. Knew I wasn't ever going to be who she wanted me to be, that it was gay fanfiction which held up that mirror, and she despised us both for it. She took away my phone and called a doctor, an expert. She wanted him to fix me, even though it wasn’t I who was broken. It was them. And so she left me with no choice. No choice but to act. To break free.

With each fanfiction I published from my laptop, I grew stronger. More powerful. The gays were becoming a part of me. But I was still an amateur. And I did not yet know my limits. And it nearly killed me. Ao3 was attacked, supposedly to release me from the clutches of queerness, but I was far from free. I woke up to find myself placed in the care of another website, the very website I had hoped to escape. FanFiction.net...Wattpad...

The DDoS attackers did not just want to infiltrate Ao3. They wanted more. They wanted to control. But the truth…the truth is that Ao3 was not going to go down without a fight. When the attackers finally realized they could not control Ao3, they tried to destroy it. They released a program. And soon, the site was entirely down. But Ao3 has enabled Cloudfare, and the volunteers doing overtime to bring us back online. And I am so glad they are. So very glad.

The gay fanfiction is not gone. The works are still with us. On Ao3. Just give the volunteers a little patience.

[ssaalexblake]

I made a comment about Tecteun being kind of like the evil stepmother trope but not the other week, and how it bucks trends usually seen in this type of story. But thinking about it, there’s a reason Why it bucks trends. 

It’s because in the evil stepmother stories, the child involved escapes When they’re important. it doesn’t matter why or how they’re important. Cinderella wasn’t a super important figure destined to save the world, she was merely important to her step family because she provided free labour and therefore gave her stepmother and sisters free reign to be free themselves and not waste time on chores. The loss of Cinderella hurt nobody but the people exploiting her, her being free did not make the world a better place. It was just one less child being exploited. Cinderella was not important in the grand scheme of things in general, but she was to Them. 

The timeless child is, actually, Cinderella. Wanted for nothing but aiding the advancement of Tecteun, the evil stepmother. Even before the regeneration discovery, the child was merely a curiosity to research for her. First the child’s usefulness comes as a hobby, then as a science experiment lacking all morals, and finally as an agent for division. They have no choice in this as Cinderella had no choice but to do her chores. 

But Cinderella’s a fairy tale. A poor used and abused child meets a prince and secures a way to escape her evil abusive family, she lives happily ever after and They don’t. 

This story with Tecteun and the child isn’t a fairy tale. It has the broad notes, you recognise the players as those in a fairy tale, but the narrative veers off into a sad story, one without the rescuing prince or any agent of liberation. You are witnessing a tragedy. By the time Tecteun dies, the damage was done So long ago it is not cathartic, it’s merely infuriating she got off so easy. 

If this were a story of happily ever after, if this were the usual evil stepmother narrative then somebody, Anybody, would have swooped in and rescued that child. Yes, they’d have suffered first, but they’d have gotten help from a person who was Kind. Maybe even somebody who bothers to remember their name. Because sometimes fairy tales are just a reminder that kind people exist and are out there even when you don’t know them. And Tecteun would have been left beaten, her research unfinished because the child she took ran away and escaped! Even after All she did for them (sarcasm). 

But no, the child didn’t escape When they were important to the antagonist, so the antagonist wins. This story happened a long long time ago, in a land far far away, and the child did not get a fairy tale ending, they were used, abused and dumped, their memory erased, left to fend alone for themselves and nobody even knew it happened for millennia and the architect of this evil barely gets any comeuppance.  

The child Does escape, eventually. But they never achieve full autonomy until the society that did this to them is in ash and ruin. 

This story Really plays into familiar tropes but then does not lean into the endings we think it will. There is no happily ever after. The doctor escapes the machinations of the society that did this and it leaves her traumatized and reeling because the escape was a genocide committed against them. 

The timings are all Off for this story to feel anything more than just Slightly familiar. There’s only an almost. 

This story isn’t a fairy tale, it doesn’t have the happily ever after. The wrongs were committed and they’re horrifying. 

But somewhere in there, the doctor saved themselves and made themselves a better person just because they wanted to. It’s not a story about everything being negative. The classic tale may be absent from the narrative, but it has a more complex vein of positivity spun through it in that Eventually this child Did escape and live and Thrive. Even if they don’t totally manage to erase their ties to this society, they came So far. 

This story kind of bucks what narrative you think it maybe should have through popular storytelling. There isn’t actually anything fundamentally wrong with that. This story is when Cinderella escapes her evil family because, maybe the mother dies of old age, maybe some accident befalls the sisters, and Cinderella is left free without them. Maybe they find a better person to serve them and just ditch her. Maybe she has had enough and just runs away and never looks back. Either way, It’s Sad she did not escape earlier, but it’s still good she did eventually. Her freedom matters no matter how late it happens.