#if no one knows i will look it up and report back
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rafesangelita · 2 days ago
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…SHERIFF!RAFE X FARMER’S!DAUGHTER!READER AU
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⋆𐙚₊˚🍺⊹♡
SHERIFF!RAFE X FARMER’S!DAUGHTER!READER who spend a lottt of time in the back seat of his cop car. they have an age gap that would raise all kinds of alarm if the people of the small town they resided in ever found out. sheriff!rafe is beefy, his muscles bulging through every shirt he wears. farmer’s!daughter!reader is too busy raising hell all around town in hopes that someone calls the police station so rafe can handcuff her and get her act cleaned up. “you can’t just go actin’ a fool whenever you feel like screwin’ i mean it!” he’s pulling her underwear up her thighs as she lays face down against his leather seats, completely fucked out. “whatever you say, dad.” rafe is groaning at her words as he uncuffs her. “yeah? i oughta’ take you home right now then and let him know about all the trouble you been gettin’ into.”
SHERIFF!RAFE X FARMER’S!DAUGHTER!READER who go on their dates in the next town over so they don’t run the risk of being caught by any locals. farmer’s!daughter!reader who teases rafe all the time, calling him an ‘old man’ and saying he’s a perv for entertaining her antics. “there’s a motel not too far from here.. just ‘sayin.” there’s a hint of a smile playing on her lips, the older man in front of her looking unamused. “you’re suggesting that i take you to a motel and you’re callin’ me a perv? get outta here.” despite his faux disinterest, they end up checking into the said motel for the night, his stomach slapping against her clit as he fucks her into oblivion on the dingy mattress of the cheap room. sheriff!rafe who actually knows farmer’s!daughter!reader’s father very well, both of them going all the way back to their high school days.
SHERIFF!RAFE X FARMER’S!DAUGHTER!READER who can’t stand each other sometimes. rafe is scolding her, telling her that she shouldn’t be wearing those ‘godforsaken’ shorts of hers since it draws a lot of the wrong attention. “you’re just mad because jj maybank is wondering what color panties i have on..” she’s leaning into the window of his cop car, his jaw clenching as he eyed the scruffy looking blonde who stood not too far away, shot gunning hot beers with his friends. “mad at the ‘maybank kid? please, darlin’ he’s a joke.” she’s laughing at his words, getting close to his ear before whispering; “i’m glad you think so, because i’m about to go over there and tell him i’m not wearing any..” that sets rafe off and it isn’t long before he’s slamming jj down against the hood of his car and arresting him for underaged drinking..
SHERIFF!RAFE X FARMER’S!DAUGHTER!READER who are such polar opposites, even they don’t understand how they work together. sheriff!rafe has a rough exterior, seemingly cold, closed off and never smiles, whereas farmer’s!daughter!reader is dancing on tables in bars she shouldn’t even be at, and being a little minx to see how many free drinks she can get out of the regulars. so much so, that rafe started patrolling around town at night so he could stop her from doing something stupid. and of course, without fail, he’s getting a radio call saying there’s been a report of a quote, unquote ‘young woman resisting arrest and assaulting an officer.’ and rafe is arriving onto the scene almost immediately, cursing under his breath when he see’s her being held down by at least four of his men in uniform.
SHERIFF!RAFE X FARMER’S!DAUGHTER!READER who eventually have to get serious with one another, both of them knowing that what they have is anything but casual. sheriff!rafe who doesn’t know how to go about it, so he decides it’s best to just be blunt. “so uhm— what do ‘ya say to moving out of your pop’s and living with me instead?” farmer’s!daughter!reader is staring at him from across the table at their favorite diner. “what?” she’s frozen, holding her knife over her plate of fluffy pancakes. “are you serious?” rafe is nodding as he takes a cigarette out of his pocket, placing it between his lips. “yeah, but this rowdy act of yours needs to stop. m’not gonna have you actin’ reckless if i’m the one taking care of you.” he doesn’t have to tell her twice before she’s nodding, throwing her arms around the grumpy sheriff before pressing kisses to his cheek.
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theonottsbxtch · 3 days ago
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MY PEACE | MV1
an: this was a request from a lovely first time requester ( @pinkinternetstarlight )i had so much fun with this except i probably went about this differently than was expected maybe? i don’t know but i hope everyone enjoys it
wc: 1.9k
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THE MONACO SKYLINE GLITTERED outside the floor-to-ceiling windows of Max’s apartment, but the man inside couldn’t see it. Not really. He was slumped on the sofa, his head buried in his hands, elbows resting on his knees, still dressed in the sweat-soaked polo and race trousers he hadn’t bothered to peel off since getting home. The hollow thrum of the media circus still echoed in his ears—reporters’ voices, headlines dissecting every moment of his race, every mistake, every edge of aggression they couldn’t wait to sharpen into a weapon.
The living room was dim, the only light a faint glow from the kitchen where she stood, stacking plates from his barely-touched dinner into the dishwasher. He hadn’t asked her to come over; he never had to. She just… knew. She always knew.
She moved with quiet purpose, tying her hair back with a loose band, sleeves rolled up as she made her way around his space—tidying up the chaos he left in his wake. To anyone else, it might have seemed like she was cleaning for the sake of it, but he recognised it for what it was: her way of looking after him, of making sure that when the noise of the world threatened to cave him in, the corners of his life she touched felt a little less sharp.
He glanced up when she wandered back into the room, her bare feet soft against the wooden floor, carrying a folded blanket. She sat beside him without a word, the way she always did, close enough that her shoulder brushed his. Without asking, she unfolded the blanket and draped it over his lap, tucking it in just so.
His breath hitched—he didn’t mean it to, but there it was, like a crack in a dam he spent his whole life patching up. He turned his head slightly, enough to catch the faint scent of her perfume, and for the first time all day, the ache behind his ribs quietened.
“You don’t have to do this,” he murmured, his voice hoarse.
She turned to him, one corner of her mouth lifting in a small, knowing smile. “I know I don’t.”
He let his head fall back, tipping to the side until it came to rest against her lap. His body felt too heavy to hold up anymore, but here—here was lightness. Her fingers slid through his hair, slow and deliberate, untangling the knots the day had left behind.
The monster inside him, the one he kept chained under the weight of the world’s expectations, fell silent.
“Dinner’s in the fridge for tomorrow,” she said softly. “And I’ll stay the night if you want.”
He shut his eyes. He wanted to say he didn’t deserve this—didn’t deserve her—but the words wouldn’t come. All he managed was a nod, and when she leaned back against the cushions, her hands still in his hair, he let himself breathe.
The silence between them stretched on, but it wasn’t heavy. It was soft, the kind that let him loosen the grip on his thoughts, if only a little. He stared at the darkened skyline, the city lights casting faint patterns on the walls, and tried not to get lost in his head. But it was a losing battle. It always was.
The thought crept in before he could stop it. You don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve her.
The words sounded like his own, but the voice behind them wasn’t. It was his father’s, sharp and clipped, laced with that same cold disdain that had haunted his childhood. His dad had always seen her as a weakness, a threat to his focus and discipline. How many times had he warned Max about letting anyone get too close? About “wasting energy” on things that didn’t matter?
And yet, here she was, the only person who’d stayed. The only one who’d made it through the wreckage of his life without turning away.
Her hand was still in his hair, her fingers slow and soothing, but he could feel the faint shift of her breathing as she glanced at the clock on the wall.
“Max,” she said softly, her voice cutting through the noise in his head. “You’ve got a flight tomorrow morning. You should shower and get some sleep.”
He opened his eyes, the weight of the day still pressing down on him, and turned to look at her. “I’ll sleep on the plane,” he mumbled, though he didn’t move.
“Shower first,” she said, firm but kind. “You’ll feel better.”
He didn’t argue. He never could, not with her. With a quiet sigh, he sat up, the blanket slipping to the floor, and dragged himself to his feet. The thought of standing under hot water—letting it wash away the grease and grime and whatever else the day had left on him—wasn’t as bad as he let on.
By the time he stepped into the shower, he could hear her moving about in the kitchen again. He let the water beat against his skin, his hands braced against the tiled wall as the heat loosened the tension in his shoulders. Still, his mind wouldn’t stop replaying the same loop: his dad’s voice, the doubt, the sense of never being enough.
When he finally emerged, towel slung around his waist, the smell of something warm and sweet drifted through the apartment. He found her in the bedroom, already curled up against the pillows, a mug of hot chocolate in her hands. On the bedside table sat another mug—tea, the way she always made it for him, a perfect balance of strong and soothing.
She didn’t look up as he walked in, her nose buried in a book, the soft glow of the bedside lamp making the room feel impossibly safe.
He took the mug and sat on the other side of the bed, cradling it in his hands as the steam curled up around his face. For a while, they didn’t speak. She kept reading, and he let himself lean back against the headboard, the warmth of the tea spreading through him.
It wasn’t until he was ready—until the words that had been choking him all day finally loosened—that he spoke.
“They hate me,” he said quietly, his voice barely more than a rasp.
She looked up from her book, closing it without a hint of impatience, and turned her full attention to him. “Who?”
“Everyone,” he said. “The media. The fans. Hell, even Checo, sometimes.” He laughed bitterly. “They don’t even know me, but they’ve already decided I’m the villain. And the worst part is… I think they’re right.”
Her brows knitted together, and she set her mug down on the table. “Max,” she said, her voice steady, her gaze unflinching, “you’re not a villain.”
He shook his head, staring into his tea. “I don’t know how you can say that. You’ve seen it—how I am on the track, how I am off it. I push people away, I—” He stopped, the words catching in his throat.
“You’re human,” she said simply. “You’re not perfect, but no one is. And everything they say about you? That’s noise. It’s not who you are.”
His hands tightened around the mug, and he looked at her, his expression raw, like he was seeing her for the first time.
“You don’t have to stay, you know,” he said, his voice breaking. “You could’ve left a long time ago. Sometimes I think you should’ve.”
She held his gaze, her eyes calm but fierce. “And sometimes I think you forget that I get to make my own choices,” she said softly. “I’m here because I want to be, Max. Not because I feel sorry for you. Not because you owe me anything. Just because you’re you.”
The weight in his chest shifted, just a fraction, but enough. He didn’t know how to respond to that—not yet—but when she picked up her book again, leaning against his shoulder as if nothing had changed, he let himself close his eyes and breathe.
For tonight, it was enough.
The tea was long forgotten on the bedside table, the room quiet save for the faint rustle of her turning a page and the soft hum of the city beyond the windows. Max shifted under the duvet, his body still heavy with exhaustion, but the ache behind his ribs had eased, just enough to let him breathe.
She lay beside him, her book propped against her knees, the light from the lamp catching the soft curve of her face. He watched her out of the corner of his eye, trying to ignore the pang of something sharp and unfamiliar blooming in his chest. It wasn’t the first time he’d felt it, but tonight it seemed impossible to ignore.
He adjusted his pillow and turned on his side, facing her. “You’re going to read all night, aren’t you?” he asked, his voice low, teasing.
She glanced at him, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Not if you need to sleep.”
“I always need sleep is what you say, no?.”
She laughed softly, her head tipping to the side as she closed her book, slipping it onto the nightstand. “Alright, I’m done.” She reached over and turned off the lamp, plunging the room into comfortable darkness.
He shifted closer instinctively, the warmth of her presence drawing him in. They’d done this a hundred times before—falling asleep in the same bed, his arm slung over her waist or her head tucked against his chest—but tonight felt different. The space between them was charged with something unspoken, a tension he didn’t have the courage to name.
She settled into the pillows, her back facing him, and he hesitated for a moment before closing the distance. His arm slid around her waist, pulling her closer, and she melted into him without a second thought.
“Goodnight, Max,” she murmured, her voice soft and drowsy.
He rested his chin lightly against the top of her head, inhaling the familiar scent of her shampoo. “Goodnight,” he said, though his mind was far from quiet.
The weight of the day, the weight of everything, seemed to dissipate as he held her. She didn’t demand anything of him, didn’t ask him to explain himself or prove that he was more than what the world saw. She just… was. And somehow, that was enough to quiet the storm inside him.
His eyes fluttered shut, the warmth of her body lulling him into something close to peace. And before he could stop himself, the words slipped out, barely more than a whisper, lost to the dark.
“I love you.”
She didn’t stir. Didn’t react.
For a moment, panic flared in his chest—what if she’d heard him? What if she didn’t feel the same? But as her breathing deepened, slow and steady in the quiet of the room, he realised she was already asleep.
Relief swept over him, and he tightened his hold on her just a fraction, burying his face in her hair. It was better this way, he told himself. She didn’t need to know. He didn’t need to ruin what they had, didn’t need to drag her into the mess of his life any more than she already was.
For tonight, it was enough to hold her. To let the monster in him fall silent, just for a little while.
And as sleep finally pulled him under, he couldn’t help but hope—just a little—that maybe someday, he’d find the courage to say it again.
the end.
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rainydayathogwarts · 3 days ago
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One of us - platonic!marauders x reader
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summary: when the marauders find out you're an animagus, you're forced into the beginning of a friendship with them. wc: 1.2k+
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With a piece of toast halfway through your mouth, actively listening to Evan’s story, the last thing you’d been expecting on a Monday morning was for Dumbledore to stand up for an announcement. “Will the following students please report to Professor McGonagall’s office.” The old wizard cleared his throat and Evan rolled his eyes, mockingly starting to list off the names of the marauders. “Sirius Black,” You and Evan burst into a fit of giggles at the accuracy of his prediction, listening closely for the other students’ names. “James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and,” Dumbledore paused, squinting his eyes at the slip of paper he was staring at as Evan mumbled ‘Remus Lupin’.
“Uh, Y/N L/N.” You felt all the blood drain away from your face and Evan’s jaw dropped from where he sat in front of you. You felt everyone’s eyes turn towards you and furrowed your eyes in confusion. Evan widened his eyes at you, nodding his head towards the entrance of the Great Hall. You gestured at him with your hands, expressing how you had no idea what you'd done, and grabbed the rest of your toast, sticking it between your teeth as you gathered your bag, slinging it over your shoulder.
Turning around, you were surprised to find the three other students lingering in the doorway, waiting for you. You bit through your toast, catching the piece of bread in your hand as you sped up your footsteps, catching up to them. The gears in your head churned as you thought about every single rule you broke in your last seven years at Hogwarts. But why on earth would you be called to see the head of gryffindor house when you weren’t even a gryffindor? You gasped, stopping in your tracks. The three boys in front of you spun around to look at you, a panicked look on your face. “Oh, looks like someone knows what they’re in trouble for.” Sirius teased in a sing song voice, a smirk making its way on his face.
“Oh, can you tell us please! Because, we’re probably in trouble for the same thing, and we always get in trouble so it could be anything! And you, you never get in trouble.” You grimaced at Pettigrew’s little rant, debating whether you should tell them. You shook your head quickly, swallowing the lump in your throat, saying with an embarrassing squeak “I can’t tell you.” Because being an unregistered animagus was not only breaking school rules, but breaking the law. And the only reason you would be called to Professor McGonagall’s office was because she too, was an animagus, and she’d be the only Professor who would know how to deal with situations like these. You looked at the three boys in front of you, rushing past them. But if that was the case, why on earth would they be called into her office too?
You huffed, making the final turn to Professor McGonagall’s office. You put your fist up, ready to knock, but held yourself back. “Hey,” You turned your head to look at the boy speaking to you, a gentle smile on his face. “Don’t worry. If you were in real bad trouble, you wouldn’t be called in with other people.” James nodded towards his two friends, mumbling “Speaking from experience here.” You scoffed in amusement, unable to help the small smile on your face, finally knocking on the wooden door. The “Come in!” was instant. You gulped, smile instantly dropping.
The three of you entered the room in a single file line, sitting down on the four chairs lined up in front of the deputy headmistress’ desk. Professor McGonagall didn’t look up at you until you were all settled, slamming a stack of papers down on the wooden surface of her desk. “Well,” She started with her familiar croak, adjusting her glasses on her nose. “This isn’t how I thought I’d start my week, but what’s life without surprises?” You laughed nervously at her words, but you could tell from her monotonous voice and serious facial expression that you were out of order.
“Recently, a few members of staff have heard students talking about how animals from the forbidden forest are getting comfortable and wandering on school grounds.” You sucked in a sharp breath, straightening your posture as you peeked at the three boys from the corner of your eye. They were glancing right back at you. “More specifically, mentions of a stag, the grim, and a white tiger.” Professor McGonagall looked straight up at you. “Ms. L/N the dog and stag may get away with it, and no one has even noticed the rat, but a white tiger? Students are claiming they’ve made the scientific discovery of the century because white tigers are apparently inhabitants of Scotland now. Scotland!!”
You felt heat rush to your face as she said those words, reaching up to take her glasses off and folding them in front of her. You smiled nervously, rearranging the the tie around your neck as you said “Frankly, Professor McGonagall, I’m not quite sure I know what you’re talking about.” A noise of disagreement came from Sirius, who was wincing at your challenging tone. Professor McGonagall reached for her wand, and you barely had time to react before she was mumbling “Revelio” under her breath. You felt your bones shift, the familiar warm feeling of your animagus form overtaking your body. You squealed, or rather roared, your thick, furry paws sending you leaping into the air as you quickly forced yourself to take shape of your human form again.
You stood awkwardly next to the chair you’d be sat on, patting your hands down on your hair to tame it and straightening out your shirt. Sounds of amazement came from the three marauders at your animagus state, watching as you calmly sat down, clearing your throat. “Alright then.” You muttered, tossing your hair over your shoulder. “You need to sign these registration forms.” The four of you made sounds of exclamation, standing up in unison. “That’s what I thought.” Professor McGonagall continued, a satisfied smile on tugging at her lips, “Now you four be careful. If I call you up here again, know that these forms will be waiting for you.”
You all made noises of agreement, speeding towards the door. You slammed the door open, taking a deep breath when you finally escaped Professor McGonagall’s wrath. You sighed, looking to where Remus Lupin leaned against the wall waiting for his friends. His eyebrows shot up in surprise at your dishevelled state. “Moons, you’ll never guess!” Sirius brushed past you, ranting on to his friend about your transformation. “Oh my goodness, be quiet!” You snapped, spinning on the balls of your feet to face him. Remus laughed, watching as James slung an arm over your shoulders, saying how you had to transform for them again, whilst Peter went on about how soft your white fur looked.
“You know what this means don’t you?” The tall boy called out, looking at how your shoulders became stiff and you tried prying your hair out from under James’s arm. You raised your eyebrows in question, prompting Remus to go on.
“It means you’re one of us now.”
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~~~At the meeting~~~
Nodding his head, Nanami helps Miko. "Come on, Miko. Lets head back." he said as she nods but looks to see Anaconda following but she picks up Dennis in her arms calming him down. The possum didn't do much curling in her arms.
"Just a moment.." Nanami and Miko stops hearing one speak.
"Yes?"
"Just to let you know; because of this, we might have to give you a new grade due to..the unknown feeling of cursed energy from these...animatroics you say in the report. However, we don't believe a harsh punishment will be given to you. All we will say is be careful from now on. Even if you have some new cursed energy, seems you might end up meeting a lot more curses along the way. Please be sure you stay alive...we don't need to lose another one." he said.
"......." Miko said nothing but she looks ahead.
"We will be sure of that.." Nanami said silently but he saw the other two ready to leave. Miko said nothing.
"Though, we figure that crazy Gojo will not allow us to do that.....lets just hope you keep on your toes and follow rules regulations." another said. "Let the scar be a reminder of the possible outcomes....lets just hope we don't have to execute you in the future. Or maybe-"
"General...I think she gets it. Nanami, please take Miss Miko to the others."
Right away, Nanami leaves with Miko to leave them alone. One sighed to speak.
"Did you have to say that to her? I'm sure she knows of the mission but was that needed?"
"You know how serious the work of a sorcerer is..she knows that even if she risked her life for one of her students. Besides, it shows that she has potential. Just like Miss Yuria and Hana. Remember the thought with little Taz that Gojo spoke up regarding Kinie and-"
"Yuji, we know. It seems Gojo has gotten soft on us..but..knowing him he still is a powerful sorcerer."
".....For now, it will get harder for them including Miko. I just hope she learns more from the cursed energy she seems to have gotten from this metal Zilla. But the case was taken care of..so it's fine. This meeting is done for now." another said.
~~~~~~
"Though, I heard your report was a long one." Maki laughed while sitting by him but she was wondering where Nanami and Miko were.
Megumi blinks seeing him going off to check but he looks to Gojo wondering. ".....What? Did something-"
"No no..I get the feeling everyone said something but not Miko-chan." He said holding his fork. Megumi blinks wondering how he figures that's the reason.
"And how is that possible?"
"Well..those old farts asked for a personal report from her since I heard she was along with that guy right? Meaning she could have known a bit more during her time there.....but I'm sure it's fine. The last time i saw her was with Mi-sun and Ieiri. Or the old farts wanted to hear her report as soon as possible...." He said. Megumi wonders if that's true.
~~~Meanwhile~~~
"And as we said; the mission was cleared but it seems a lot has happened there." Nanami was speaking with the older men who was listening after given Miko's report. She was standing by there along with her shinigami; Anaconda and the new friend Dennis.
"........."
"I see. Well, Miss. Yotsuya. We did read your report and it seems you did see a lot more through all that in the mean time. Also, we also take word you were heavily injured even through the mission?" One asked seeing Miko remain quiet.
"Yes..."
"Was it healed fully? From the feeling, you got some cursed energy in you after the attack or slashes." A second one said while they were sitting but looks towards her.
"Yes..I was healed but I still have the scar on my back. Daichi healed me during the time after I was heavily injured." she answers seeing the men whispering among themselves.
"And are you mentally alright after all that?" a third one asked.
"....Yes...."
"Are you?"
"Yes; I'm alright. It took a while to heal but....I know it was fine. Daichi did close the wound before I died of blood loss." she said while looking at the men but they understood. Anaconda was sitting by her phone showing a phoenix charm on it before it buzzes.
"????" looking at the pocket of the hoodie she was wearing, Anaconda saw the two text messages from Daichi. He stood on his back legs clawing her at leg as Miko blinks looking down.
"What's wrong Anaconda?" she asked but as she tried to figure it out-
"Miss Yotsuya, please focus. Now, you given your report but was their anything else you wished to tell us?"
She blinks to look but sighed. "N..No sir." she said.
"...Although the mission was completed; it's almost like you got cursed twice. From the Mountain god to this. Cursed energy still lingers in you dear but..lets hope you be a bit more careful. That was rather risky that you did all that....but it's good that you completed the mission with your classmates." he said.
".........."
"Honestly, if it became bad, then we would have had to have you executed due to the dangers of it...however that was passed." the second said this like it was fine even if Miko was nervous with Nanami reassuring her it's alright.
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demonic0angel · 2 days ago
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Christmas + Gotham City Spirits
Bruce sipped at his coffee, reading through the recent reports of a case a few days ago. The coffee blend was faintly peppermint-flavored because due to the holiday season, Stephanie had replaced everything in the coffee making station with Christmas themed items.
It tasted good, so no one complained too much.
The chatter in the cave was calming, a distant lull with the sound of his loved ones’ voices. None of them had gone on patrol yet, although they were all dressed in their vigilante suits. Dick and Jason were arguing over the movie they wanted to watch on their semi-weekly Movie Nights, and Cass and Steph were egging them on. Tim and Damian were gone, having left using the Batmobile to pick up something.
They would be back any minute now—
Tim and Damian drove into the Batcave in that moment, and although their parking was gentle, they both flew out of the car like it was on fire. Damian was holding an ice cream cup, despite it being the only a day from Christmas, while Tim was holding a milkshake.
Bruce looked back down at the reports, unconcerned after seeing no blood, limping, or drugs.
“The Batmobile is haunted!” screamed Tim, and Bruce paused in reading his papers. He looked up again and watched as the others approached, confused murmurs and questions filling the air.
“Huh?? What happened?!”
Tim and Damian were trying to explain the events that led up to this moment. Damian was standing next to Tim, who was ranting up and down about what happened.
“Okay, so I was taking Damian for ice cream,” cue some coos from Dick and Steph, with Bruce mentally joining in, “when we were arguing in the car. I hadn’t realized that I had taken my eyes off of the steering wheel until Damian pointed it out. The car was driving on its own! And the autopilot wasn’t turned on!”
Bruce resisted the urge to smack his forehead.
Of course this was how they were discovered. He could almost sense the awkward guilt coming off of the Batmobile from the distance where it was parked in the cave.
“So… you think it’s ghosts?” Steph asked, raising an eyebrow.
Tim and Damian shared a look and then nodded.
“Ghosts?” Jason snorted. “Are you kidding? I bet you’re seeing things.”
“It was real, Todd! Just because you’re brain damaged doesn’t mean the rest of us are—“
Dick interrupted him, “Well, I mean Deadman and Gentleman Ghost exist. Who’s to say that the Batmobile isn’t haunted?”
Jason opened his mouth to argue some more, but Tim spoke up then. “Bruce? You don’t seem surprised.”
Bruce paused on taking a sip of his coffee. All of his children turned to stare at him.
It was Cass who said, “He knows something.”
More than just knew.
Bruce had met and befriended the ghost that haunted the Batmobile. And the Batcomputer. And the gargoyles in Gotham. And the parks. And Arkham Asylum. And Crime Alley. And Blüdhaven. And Gotham City itself.
The point was… Bruce had more than just knowledge on the ghosts haunting the things around him.
————
It had first begun when Batman had started appearing within the city. He had just started working as a vigilante for a few months when one day, he had noticed odd circumstances happening around him.
It happened sporadically, almost randomly enough that he hadn’t gotten suspicious for awhile, but when a pattern was beginning to form, he began to notice.
Whenever he could’ve sworn his hook wouldn’t attach properly to the building, it seemed as though something moved and made it fit perfectly, allowing him to swing to his destination. Whenever he thought that he had lost a criminal, a new alleyway that he wouldn’t be able to recognize would pop up and allow him to block the runaway’s path. Whenever he felt like his computer wouldn’t be able to calculate something or find new information, it would miraculously give him data that he knew for sure that a mere computer could not find.
The most prominent evidence was with the Batmobile. At times, it would speed up on its own, even when he was extremely controlled in how he used the brakes and gas. At others, it would have minuscule but noticeable changes such as adjustments to seating and temperature inside of the car. At one point, Bruce distinctly remembered the car turning and sliding unnaturally past danger, which helped him avoid crashing into a narrow street’s wall when he was dodging gunfire. It had been strange because he was sure that he was going to scrape the car against the wall, but it never happened.
Bruce had personally worked on it with Alfred’s help, so any signs of tampering were impossible. There was no explanation for it, no matter how much Bruce dismantled the car and remade it over and over again.
Even Alfred had that strange look in his eyes now, as if wondering if Bruce had delusions from one too many concussions.
Bruce scoured his library for information, looked up anything on the internet, and even asked informants and help from the few contacts that he knew.
They had a few answers, but none of them made a lot of sense.
In the end, Bruce decided to just confront the problem head-on.
On a lonely summer night, Bruce entered his car and sat in the driving seat, breathing out slowly. Usually, the car did not act out everyday, but today, Bruce had been driving in order to dodge the police that wanted to capture him, and he had seen how the car moved without his turning of the wheel to drive past sharp corners. This had earned him a few precious minutes necessary to throw the police off his trail and allow him to get away.
All this told him was that the car was of help to him, but nothing else.
He started the car, allowing the familiar rumble of his car warm him up. He allowed the Batmobile to run as he thought of what to say.
When he formalized his speech, Bruce cleared his throat and stared at the inside of his car, sleek and polished all over.
“I-I’ve been noticing a few things lately. Strange things happening. I think that you’ve been helping me. I’m… thankful. Thank you for helping me away from the cops today. I appreciate it.”
His voice reverberated inside of the empty car.
“However, I want to meet you. If you’re there. Are you… sentient?” He asked.
The car did not speak.
Well, of course, it couldn’t speak.
He flushed with humiliation as he mentally berated himself. Was he so paranoid, so tired that he was now believing that a car could respond back to him? No wonder Alfred was thinking he was insane.
But in the next moment, he ate his thoughts as the car gave an answering rumble without him revving the car or doing anything.
Bruce stared. Then he said, “Make something move if that was real.”
Another moment of silence. Then there was a click and the windshield wipers began to turn on, swiping across the glass.
Bruce’s breath caught.
“You’re sentient!” He cried, unable to believe it. The air around him began to chill and he watched as the temperature of the air conditioner dropped rapidly until it was low, making his breath come out in vapor. He shivered and looked around frantically.
“Yes,” a soft voice said, “I am.”
Bruce turned to the side, where the voice appeared. A small girl, who looked barely even five, stared at him with wide eyes through a domino mask and a suit that wasn't unlike his. She was tiny, with a black ponytail behind her head and a cape attached to her neck.
He stared and watched as the fabric on her body sparkled with a metallic sheen and her hair flowed in a nonexistent breeze within the enclosed car.
"Are you... a ghost or something?"
The girl smiled. "Kinda." She kicked her feet and giggled. "I'm the spirit that haunts this car. But if you had a plane or a boat, I could haunt those too." She paused and then eagerly asked, "Could you get one? I think it'd be really cool!"
Bruce couldn’t help but smile. “I… I’ll try. What are you, exactly? Can you tell me more about yourself? What are you here for?”
Perhaps he could’ve asked more questions. Maybe he should’ve asked whether or not she was good. She was an unknown variable in his long-term plans, but he couldn’t muster up the animosity needed to interrogate her, not while she looked at him and like him in similar clothes and a smaller form.
“I’m a ghost, and my haunt is your vehicle,” she replied blithely. “I was brought here because my family is also here. They’re also ghosts, and there’s a lot of them around. I think all of my siblings are awake, and so are our friends. A few are still asleep, I think… but I promise we mean no harm. We’re supposed to protect life, as beings who have already crossed to the other side and made a deal with Lady Gotham and Lady Blüdhaven.”
Bruce stared at the ghost in his passenger seat.
“Pardon?”
She explained in more detail. Several centuries ago, Gotham City and Blüdhaven were the haunts of two powerful sister spirits who protected the city and powered it via the emotions of their citizens and their own strength. However, something had befallen them, and they had asked for help from the Ghost King. He had agreed to take over for them, and in one final sacrifice, both city spirits had died and then tied their cities to the Ghost King and his family, who he had asked to assist him.
They all separated and formed their own haunts via some time shenanigans that she would not elaborate on. And thus, several ghosts haunted both cities. There was supposedly one city spirit in Blüdhaven, since it was a much smaller city, and over six in Gotham.
She, ‘Dani’ as she called herself, was one of them.
“We’re usually asleep and we don’t really have awareness or sentience like a normal person most of the time. So it’s difficult for us to age too.” She yawned at this moment. “I’m a weaker spirit, so I have a really small haunt. My big brothers all have a city to themselves, but the rest of us get smaller stuff.”
Bruce asked, “Are you tired?”
She rubbed at the mask that covered her eyes irritably before nodding with another yawn. “I’ll try to come back,” she said, “but I’m usually not “out” like this, so it’s tiring. But the more you take care of me and Gotham, the stronger I’ll get, like my siblings.”
A hand seemed to clench at Bruce’s heart.
More people to depend on him. Another cause to be stronger, faster, and smarter. Further reasons for him to be better, so he could help his city.
“Oh.”
She smiled at him, and it brought a little warmth back into the chill surrounding him. “But I’ll help you. No matter what, we spirits are on your side, Batman.”
Bruce returned the smile. “Thank you.”
It was almost unbelievable, but the amount of details in her explanation proved her right and the way she explained things made sense. No wonder he had so much success as Batman. No wonder it felt like he could run forever on Gotham’s streets and catch criminals all night. No wonder it felt like the city called for him like a beacon, even without the Bat-Signal.
She nodded and in the next blink, she was gone. The temperature increased back to normal. The car was silent and so was Bruce, as he sat in the plush, leather seats and thought to himself. In the end, there was nothing else to do but harden his resolve to do better and help Gotham City.
He met her a few more times, and they officially formed a team, where she would help accelerate the speed of whatever vehicle he was using to get to fight crime and help victims quicker. In return, he would care of the vehicles and allowed her to do what she needed to do without interference.
As time passed, Bruce met the rest of the city spirits.
There was one in Crime Alley, sweet and tall for the age that she looked and laden with bloody pearls that made him avoid looking at her, who was kind and clever. She told him that she had awakened when his parents died, but her gentle condolences did not infuriate him like others did. ‘Jazz’ was her name, and she told him that she would watch over the children in her domain.
He traveled through Gotham City knowing that she would take care of Crime Alley whenever he couldn’t muster up the strength to enter.
There was one in the parks of Gotham, thin and oddly goth, who was stubborn and cool and extremely opinionated. She was even younger than the spirit in Crime Alley, and had a lot of opinions on garden care and vegetarianism. ‘Sam’, she wanted to be called, and she told him not to call her Samantha or she’d make him trip over roots.
He spent money on maintaining the parks in Gotham, and Alfred noted how his own personal gardens in Wayne Manor never seemed to die or wilt.
There was a growing spirit in the computers of the Batcave, gangly and quick-witted and mischievous, who was the same age as the park spirit and grew slowly with advancing technology and only appeared when Bruce was in a rush or desperate. He was named ‘Tucker’, and he liked helping, but only when it was interesting or when he was really needed.
Bruce carefully developed new software and installed better tech every opportunity he could, and the Batcomputer never failed him.
There was another in Arkham Asylum, stern and strong-looking, who was confident and hot-tempered and the same age as the Batcave spirit. She was brave and strong-willed, hating the more murderous patients of the asylum, but had all of the forgiveness and patience needed for the more misguided ones. Her name was ‘Valerie’, and she promised to hold back as many escapees as she could.
He captured runaway patients for her and visited her personally to thank her every time he heard of a failed escape attempt.
There was also a spirit that haunted the gargoyles of Gotham, wily and observant, who traveled from each stone statue for information. He liked investigating things, but hated injustice and lies, and he promised to help Bruce whenever he could find the strength to manifest. ‘Call me Wes’, he had said, before launching into a rant about how annoying the Gotham City spirit was.
They would occasionally exchange information every now and then, with Wes offering blackmail and details for every case he needed.
Bruce had only met the spirit of Blüdhaven once. He was aggressive and murderous, but when Batman had visited the second time for a case, he recognized all of the signs of a spirit’s protection, even though he also attempted to throw him off a few buildings. The Blüdhaven City spirit was hateful but not unreasonable, and although Bruce was encouraged by the other siblings, he decided to just leave the city alone because this ‘Dan’ did not like leaving his domain.
Bruce largely did not bother him. In the future, he would make more frequent trips and bring news of the spirits in Gotham. At least falling beams didn’t drop on him anymore.
He had already met Dani, who haunted the vehicles inside of the Batcave. She loved driving and flying and racing through any part of Gotham. When needed, she could transport herself into any and all vehicles owned by Bruce and his associates, and then power it to be even faster through the strength given to her by Gotham City and the determination of the driver. She was small in size but big in personality, and her carefree, fun-loving personality gave him much relief whenever he needed her as he traveled to wherever needed him most.
He took care of all of his vehicles and crafts, and she pushed him to help quicker.
And lastly, the most impressive and unimpressive spirit of all was the spirit of Gotham. He was a small thing, slender and unassuming, dressed in ragged clothes in his human form with the sharp, haunted eyes of a child from Crime Alley. His name was ‘Danny’, and although he seemed unnoticeable at first, he was noble and kind. When he wasn’t dressed in the starry veil of his spirit form, he was out and about on the streets, helping others as a homeless kid. He helped the forgotten, the downtrodden, the poor, and sick as best as he could.
Unlike his siblings and friends, who were weak and could not be out as a human for long, Danny was not the same. Looking like a small pre-teen, he helped his citizens as much as he could by offering shelter, an extra hand, some random change, and a careful warning.
He supported Bruce in any way that he could, and Bruce wanted nothing more than to make him proud by helping the city.
Time passed.
The spirits, having now awakened with Batman’s debut, began to grow up.
Bruce did not allow himself to be left behind. He grew and learned and trained and did better for his city. The spirits did not appear often, but whenever they were truly needed, they never let him down.
Only a few years into being Batman, he adopted Dick Grayson.
When Dick became Robin, he had been worried about the reaction of the spirits, but they had not appeared angry and even seemed approving, with the way they protected Dick more than Bruce.
He could’ve felt jealous, but really, it was just cute. With how old Dick was and how some of the spirits looked, they could’ve been the same age.
Barbara Gordon soon joined their crew as Batgirl, and the trio helped Gotham by running through its streets for a few more years.
When Bruce had fired Dick in hopes of him retiring and living a peaceful life without harm, Dick had changed his identity of Robin to Nightwing and moved to Blüdhaven.
Bruce nearly had a heart attack from the thought of it, but Danny had laughed and reassured him that Dan had readily accepted him and chosen him as a champion.
“A champion?” Bruce had asked. “What’s that?”
“A champion is a specific hero that a spirit can support and defend. You’re my champion,” Danny smiled, tapping the little batarang-shaped brooch near his heart. “That means I support you. Dan will support Nightwing. He’s possessive, so rest assured that Nightwing will be very, very protected by him.”
And so Bruce breathed a sigh of relief, let him go, and tried not to worry.
Not that long after, Bruce met Jason Todd, who was also quickly adopted.
Jazz had seemed particularly happy, always at the edge of Bruce’s vision whenever she could as he and Jason soared over Gotham roofs.
“Is he her champion?” Bruce had asked Danny. “Since he’s born and raised in Crime Alley?”
Danny chuckled, but he seemed tired. “You’ll see.”
Bruce did not see, because Jason had presumably thrown someone off of a building and then ran off to find his mother, getting killed in the process. By the time Batman had arrived in a plane with its engines nearly combusting from going so fast, it had been too late.
Jason, his son, was dead.
He would no longer smile and make quippy remarks. He would no longer help Alfred in the kitchen. He would no longer fall asleep on the manor’s library, an open book on his lap. He would no longer fly over Gotham and be his partner.
Red, yellow, and green would no longer be by Batman’s side.
Because Robin was dead.
The grief nearly consumed him. He blamed himself. He blamed the Joker. He blamed Jason. He blamed Dick.
He blamed the spirits.
Anything and everything was a target of his sorrow and rage.
He couldn’t help it.
He had already lost family once and became a vigilante to fight crime.
He didn’t know what to do now that he had lost family again, when the cause of death was vigilantism.
Gotham City wasted away as the spirits and Batman mourned for the little Robin who would never fly again, buried in Gotham soil.
Bruce mourned and hated everything in equal measure.
"It's your fault!" He screamed, as Danny stared at him blankly. He was dressed in his extravagant and otherworldly spirit form, his face and eyes covered by a long veil train covered in stars. His clean, neat form only seemed even more infuriating as Bruce felt like he was dissolving from his own madness. "If-If Jason hadn't been— if he had— if only—!"
Danny responded to none of his words until he insulted Jazz, the Crime Alley spirit, for Jason's death. It had been an irrational statement from grief, but they cared not one whit. All hell broke loose as Bruce was kicked off of the roof. He narrowly got away by using his grappling hook, but after that, things began to go badly.
Computer malfunctions, never ending pop music in the Batcave, engine failure, vehicles that refused to open or work properly, tree branches that deliberately slapped him or roots that tripped him on every step, sirens of the Arkham Asylum wailing every day and night, gorgoyles that would move and bat away his grappling hooks— the spirits began to turn against him in petty revenge and pranks.
It had not resulted in deaths of innocents, as even they knew limits, but they never failed to make his life even more miserable or inconvenient than ever.
It wasn't until Batman, in his exhaustion, nearly fell off of a roof and became a splatter on the ground in Crime Alley, and was picked up by the neck like a scruffed kitten by a disgruntled Crime Alley spirit, did it all stop.
"I see you haven't been having a good time," Jazz said. She looked like a teenager now, with her hair in ironed curls and a blindfold around her eyes as she frowned at him.
"... yes," Batman said, because he almost never apologized in his life and in his depression, felt like it was unfair that she got to act out while he could not.
"Batman," she said, her voice stern. "We mourn with you. After all, Jason is one of our own too. He came from my domain and I allowed you to meet him. Danny accepted him as a protector of Gotham and he flew alongside you for years. It was Dani that tried to get you to him faster. It is Danny's soil that he is buried in. His brother lives in Dan's domain as his champion. We all mourn for him, Batman. That does not give you the right to unnecessarily take your anger out on us or any of Gotham's citizens."
"I am meant to protect Gotham," he spat. "I was chosen as his champion!"
"And yet you're breaking limbs for petty crimes. You're terrorizing the streets like a madman. You're making the citizens scared. You are a symbol of redemption and change in this city, Batman. You are not a sign of fear or hatred. Get your act together. Batman is still needed."
Then she dropped him on the roof and left.
Bruce went back into mourning, licking his emotional wounds, but none of the spirits pranked him anymore.
They seemed... pitying.
Bruce apologized to Jazz and blamed it on grief. She forgave him easily, and his world was nothing but gray again.
He tried, but it was hard. Dick did not care enough to come help, lost in Dan's city and his own mourning for his little brother while Barbara had been forced onto the sidelines from her paralysis, which left Bruce on his own, adrift and untethered, unable to blame anyone and unable to unleash his anger. Alfred was there, but like always, he was only a stony pillar in his life. The spirits refused to handle his rage, so all that was left was just an ache for a lost son and a mindless need to run himself to the ground to perhaps quicken his journey to join his family again.
It was the spirits who helped him once more.
Danny subtly nudged Timothy Drake in his direction, and he soon became another Robin with Stephanie Brown and Cassandra Cain joining his team.
Bruce got better, but he was not perfect. He was still angry and hurt and ever-so-slightly lost. But he continued on.
After all, if he quit now, then what was all of this suffering for?
The spirits continued to assist him, along with his family. They were powerful, not omniscient, but no matter what, everything they did was for the betterment of Gotham City.
Time passed with Tim as his Robin, when Jason came back.
With a hunger for revenge and to test Bruce's love for him.
Bruce was so, so, so tired.
He loved his sons. His daughter(s). He loved his family and his duty and he loved Gotham City, but sometimes, it felt as though it was pulling him apart.
Danny and the other spirits (especially Jazz and Valerie) had always lectured him on taking breaks and knowing when to rest, of knowing his limits and being willing to quit when necessary, but Bruce always found it difficult.
As he watched Jason almost self-destruct in his rage and hatred, Bruce wondered if they would blame him if he quit here and now.
But he didn’t.
Things changed. Jason had changed from that sweet, intelligent, charming boy into a young man with a short fuse and an even quicker urge to kill. He beat up Tim, killed dozens of people, and took over the underworld, all to spite Bruce.
In a way, he was proud and so disappointed.
It was Jazz who approached him on the nights that Danny usually spent with him.
Bruce looked up at her, lovely and beautiful and so hauntingly tall that she looked like a monster, just like the domain she haunted, both dangerous and amazing all in one.
She bent down and shifted into her civilian form, one with black and white formal wear, her hair straightened into its natural state as she smiled with bright, turquoise eyes. This way, she looked soft and gentle, a little different from her cold and strict persona as a city spirit of the most violent part of Gotham.
“I can help you with Jason,” she said, when he turned to look at her. When his eyes widened, she continued, “I was going to do it anyways, but I want you to know what you need to do as well.”
“… what do I need to do?”
Jazz smiled. “Just try to welcome him back? It will all work out.”
“Both Jazz and I will help you,” Danny then spoke, from Bruce’s other side. When he turned, he saw Danny, dressed in a ratty hoodie and scuffed up sneakers. Danny smiled teasingly. “I can’t let my champion go without his family, right? Jason has been chosen as Jazz’s champion. You don’t have to agree with his methods, but that is a problem of Jazz and Jason.”
“And I don’t care,” Jazz said tonelessly. “I don’t like it, but it has proven effective. Do not try to stop him too much, Batman. He needs to learn for himself.”
Bruce scowled, hating the fact that both spirits condoned murders, even if they were the deaths of criminals and drug dealers, but Gotham City and Crime Alley had spoken and he had learned his lesson before in rejecting their advice and going against them.
They were not his enemies.
They did not have to agree with him, and he was not beholden to their beliefs either.
They trusted him, and they were his closest and longest allies.
He sighed. “I understand.”
Jazz smiled, patted his arm, and then disappeared back to her domain. Danny stayed behind and they chatted for a long while before he too, had to leave before coming back for the next meeting.
It was frustrating at times, how the spirits could not always be there, but Bruce knew that they could not help it. They still had not gained enough strength to appear constantly, and they tried their hardest to help him even in their passive states.
Bruce sighed and moved on to try and coax Jason into a healthier, less murderous lifestyle with a lot less lecturing and judging, which seemed to shock Dick and Jason. (He pretended not to be offended by this.)
When Bruce saw Jazz next time in her spirit form, he felt a little emotional and sentimental when she appeared with a symbol of Jason's Red Hood on her chest, tying her fur coat together as a brooch, not unlike the brooch on Danny’s chest that looked like Batman’s signal.
Jason got the help he needed from Jazz (Bruce wasn’t entirely sure how this was done since neither of them nor Danny said a word about it to him and Bruce knew that Jason had never met any of the spirits), and soon, he began to integrate himself back into the family. Tim was a little resistant at first, but things were looking up.
But this was life, where the chaos never ended.
Soon, Damian joined the team and tried to kill Tim. Bruce barely held himself back from shipping him straight back to the League, but Danny and Dani knocked some sense into him, and even Jazz came to scold him heavily. Bruce was lectured day and night by disappointed city spirits and eventually, he taught himself to be patient and kind to his youngest son, who had been torn away from a life he knew into one that was very, very different.
Damian was insufferable at times, but Bruce found that he truly did love his son. He grew up kind and honorable, and in the end, it felt worth it.
Bruce wished that life would become sunshine and rainbows, but this was Gotham City, covered in smog and clouds and haunted by a teenage ghost who was friends with a tech geek spirit and a goth spirit. Things happened one after another and although the spirits prevented some things from happening, it was inevitable that they could not help him when he was not on Gotham or Blüdhaven soil.
Bruce got knocked into the timestream. Danny traveled with him and throughout the different timelines, several other city spirits appeared, even Dan, and they helped him survive and get back to his family.
And finally, when Bruce was reunited with his family, with his sons and daughter and mentally adopted daughter and butler, he could finally breathe a sigh of relief.
————
Things had been relatively peaceful now, with no major fights or violent disagreements between any of his children or family. Even the city had been calm for awhile, most like in preparation for the holidays.
Bruce snapped out of his memories when his children all turned to him, staring intensely for answers. He blinked as they all stared at him with wide eyes.
"B?" Dick asked, raising an eyebrow, "what do you think?"
Bruce was quiet.
He hadn't meant to keep the secret for so long, but he just could never find an opportunity to bring it up.
Eventually, as his children all stared at him with growing concern, doubt, and confusion, he said, “No, it’s true. Both Gotham City and Blüdhaven are haunted.”
There were gasps and then cries of confusion and demands for answers. Tim looked at him for clarification, as Damian gloated over the fact that he and Tim already knew. Bruce’s lips twitched in a smile before Jason suddenly asked, “Wait a minute! If it really is haunted, then how do you know and not us? Did you meet them before?”
Bruce tilted his head as his children turned to look at him again. Then he said, “I knew them in my first year of being Batman.”
“That was before I adopted,” Dick muttered to himself, but everyone only looked even more interested.
“So you met them? The ghosts or whatever? Can we see them right now? Are they in the car?” Stephanie rambled.
Bruce thought about it. The spirits did not mind being outed (in fact, they had protested to being kept a secret and Bruce was constantly nagged about his poor habit of doing so), so they wouldn’t be angry if he brought the entire family to meet them now.
It was high time his children met the spirits of the city.
Bruce nodded. “I can take you to meet them. I have to give them their Christmas presents anyways.”
They all cheered again and burst with more questions. Bruce ignored them, even Dick who was climbing him like a tree and whining to know more, as he collected the presents that he had gotten for the spirits. He went to the Batcomputer, still ignoring Dick and Cass who were now hanging off of him, and typed a short message into a document.
‘Meet up at Amusement Mile in 10 minutes.’
He left it open, as Tim then asked, “You can communicate with the ghost through the Batcomputer? Are they actually ghosts?”
“You’ll see,” Bruce said, as Dick and Cass were now attempting to choke him for answers. He collected a few more presents and a laptop. He tossed his kids off of him and dodged another attempt by Steph to catch him before he whistled.
He threw a pair of keys to Jason, who looked at it, confused.
“Take that bike, will you?” Bruce asked, pointing to the shiny new black adventure bike. “You can follow after the car.”
Jason whistled as he finally recognized the new bike. “Damn! When the hell did you get this beauty?”
Stephanie raised a hand enthusiastically. “Can I come with?!”
“Hop on, blondie. Can we go now?”
Bruce resisted the urge to sigh.
For a moment, he was unsure of himself.
For so long, the existence of the spirits were solely his. No one around him knew that they were there.
And now, both sides, his family and the spirits, would be officially meeting for the first time.
He shook off the thoughts and got into the Batmobile, where the rest of his team followed. He made sure that all of them were wearing the appropriate gear and uniform, since it was already winter and only growing colder. Damian complained but Dick was able to wrap a scarf around his neck.
Bruce didn’t fully close the door again when Alfred walked into the cave and asked, “When will all of you expect to be back, Master Bruce?”
He paused. Then he said, “Do you want to come with, Alfred?”
“Oh dear. Whatever for?”
“To meet the ghosts!” Damian spoke up for Bruce. “Come with us, Pennyworth. It’ll surely be interesting.”
Alfred sighed, though there was a touch of fondness before he also entered the Batmobile. Cass easily surrendered the passenger seat to him, slipping into the back.
Jason, from the new bike, laughed and crowed, “Hell yeah! Now it’s a full party!”
Bruce couldn’t resist a smile as he patted the steering wheel. The Batmobile began to purr and soon enough, they all sped out of the cave and through the streets of Gotham. The sun was starting to set, casting the world in orange hues. His children were all in the backseat, chattering and making theories as Jason and Stephanie joined in on their own comms. Both he and Alfred sat together in companionable silence as Bruce idly drove.
Then, as they reached a good spot, he let go of the wheel and said, “Dani, your turn.”
The car swerved out of control and just as Tim and Dick yelped loudly, the car steadied itself, straightening, and then immediately went into overdrive, zipping through the streets. The view outside of the windows passed into a colorful blur too fast to see as the engine rumbled like thunder.
“Holy Batman!” Dick screamed with a laugh as they swerved and turned crazily, narrowly dodging a sharp corner.
Everyone in the car tilted dramatically before Dani righted the car again and they all dropped back into their seats.
“Good heavens!” Alfred cried, hanging onto his chair tightly with wide eyes as the car continued accelerating into impossible speeds.
Bruce just smiled, sitting still while his kids were all squealing from the rapid maneuvers of Dani. They all looked like they were having fun though, and Bruce just held tightly onto the presents as Dani approached Amusement Mile.
After nearly jumping over the gates, she immediately slowed down to a smooth halt in front of an empty food court in the abandoned theme park.
“Oh my god, I think I’m dizzy,” Tim complained.
“You’re so weak,” Damian snipped back, although he looked a little dazed himself. Meanwhile, Cass and Dick were beaming wide smiles, looking as though they wanted to do that again.
“The autopilot wasn’t on, so was that one of the ghosts who controlled the car?” Dick asked cheerfully.
Bruce nodded, avoiding Alfred’s sharp glares. “You’ll meet them all today.” He left the car, helping out Cass and Tim. Jason and Stephanie arrived moments later.
“B! What the hell?! Why were you going so fast?!”
“It was the ghost!” Tim said. “He was controlling the car.”
“‘She’,” Bruce corrected. “It’s a she that’s controlling the car.”
When everyone turned to look at him critically for more answers, he turned his face away and opened up the laptop that he took from the Batcave. He opened it and placed it on a table placed in the outside food court. It turned on with a blink and Bruce put in the password.
“… did you just type 696969?” Stephanie asked, sounding extremely amused.
Bruce sighed as his kids all snickered like preteen boys.
The place around them was empty and dusty. His children, after observing him for a moment as he typed away on the laptop, silently found seats around him at the tables of the food court, all seated close to each other. Alfred remained standing, looking around in a slightly confused fashion but unwilling to say a word. Bruce looked down at his feet, where grass and weeds were growing in the cracks of the neglected cement.
Then he focused on the laptop again and pressed a few buttons on the laptop before taking a step back.
His kids all perked up. Even Alfred straightened the tiniest bit.
There was a crackle.
And then—
“Batman!” A voice called.
Everyone turned to look at the car, where Dani was sitting on top. She was dressed in her civilian clothes, a pair of jeans and a regular sweater. She waved happily, lovely and warm like sunshine. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail and when she hopped off of the roof of the Batmobile, it bounced around her face in wild waves.
She approached and everyone but Bruce stared in confusion and fascination.
“I thought I’d finally come out since you didn’t say anything,” Dani explained to Bruce. She turned to his kids and waved. A few waved back.
A new voice appeared. “Ugh, what took you so long to bring me here?”
Tucker stretched. He was also in his civilian form and he wiggled his fingers playfully when the others whipped their heads around to gape at him. He sat down at a table and said, “You took forever to bring me out. When is everyone else coming?”
“Already here,” Sam said, bored and in full goth, stepping out of a patch of grass to sit next to Tucker. “Wassup, Bruce.”
Bruce acknowledged her with a nod.
“We’re here,” Wes said, coming out of the walls with Valerie by his side. Both were also dressed casually. “Sorry, are we late?”
“We still have the other three,” Sam said. “B is introducing us to his kids.”
“Finally!” Valerie snapped, sitting down with a huff. “We’ve been telling you to tell them for so long!”
Bruce said, “I know, but none of them figured it out until now.”
“Hey,” Dick complained, “How are we supposed to know? They’re ghosts!”
Bruce gave him a level look. “Through observation and careful inspection. You should’ve—“
“Lay off of them, Bruce,” Sam interrupted with a small smile. “We kept ourselves hidden from them because it seemed like you didn’t want them to know.”
At this, everyone glared at Bruce, while he just sighed. Dani spoke up and said, “It was because I was careless today that they noticed. Don’t blame it on them.”
Another figure stepped out of the shadows and Jason startled, standing up. “Wolf?” He blurted, and Bruce looked over to see Jazz walking to them, a black helmet over her head and wearing a bodysuit. She paused when she saw Jason, gave a small wave, and then sat down next to Dani, who cheered when she saw her.
“Jazz!” She said, tackling her in a hug. “I haven’t seen you in forever!”
Jazz laughed. “What are you talking about? We saw each other the other day, remember?”
The five spirits burst into excited chatter, since it was rare that they ever met up like this, all together at once. Usually, it was only a few one-on-one meetups and Bruce knew this, so he stayed silent as did his family, giving the spirits the space needed to chat while also allowing his family to observe. Jason looked moody, but didn’t say a word.
Out of nowhere, Dan dropped in from the air, dressed in a stained bartender’s uniform. He scowled at Bruce.
“Couldn’t you have chosen somewhere closer to Blüdhaven? I had to travel over the entirety of Gotham City just to get here!”
Bruce bowed his head in apology. “I’m sorry. Next time, I’ll make sure it’s closer.”
Dan scoffed. “You better,” he snapped, before he made a complete 180 and beamed at his sisters. “Jazz! Dani! You’re looking lovely today!”
Bruce’s family stared between him and the Blüdhaven city spirit.
“Are there… more?” Stephanie asked, after sneaking over to him while the tables of spirits chatted.
Bruce nodded and raised a finger for one.
Tim also slid over and said, “They don’t look like ghosts.”
Damian, having crept alongside Tim, muttered, “They don’t look important or powerful either. Father, what is going on?”
Alfred sighed. “Young masters, please sit down and stop standing around and whispering.”
They sat down. Tim and Steph shared a seat, both hanging on via a buttcheek as Damian had pushed Tim off of his. Bruce didn’t say a word, though he was inwardly exasperated and already regretting this entire meeting.
Dick was staring at Dan critically, while Jason was staring at Jazz with a frown. They obviously knew each other, but Bruce still didn’t know how. Cass was just looking between all of the spirits, looking slightly confused.
Finally, the last guest arrived. Footsteps sounded from nearby and Danny jogged over to them with an easy smile.
“Sorry, am I late?”
“Yes!” All of the spirits shouted, glaring at him.
Danny just grinned and then looked over at Bruce. “Hello. Finally showing us off?”
Bruce nodded. Then he stood up and said, “Everyone. Meet the city spirits of Gotham City and Blüdhaven.” He began to gesture to them as he gave introductions. “This is Dani, the spirit of the Batvehicles. She controls all of the Batvehicles in the cave. This is Tucker, the Batcomputer spirit. This is Sam, spirit of all plant life in Gotham City. This is Wes, spirit of Gotham City gargoyles. This is Valerie, the Arkham Asylum spirit.”
This earned several shocked looks and gasps. Valerie gave a polite nod with a hint of pride. Bruce moved on.
“And this is Jazz, the Crime Alley spirit.” Jason’s expression twitched. “This is Dan, the city spirit of Blüdhaven, and this is Danny, the city spirit of Gotham City.”
Danny smiled at them.
When he finished, there was a burst of noise and confusion. Bruce endured it all for a moment before he raised a hand, quieting everyone, and then said, “Let me explain.”
Bruce talked about how he noticed them in his first year of being Batman (he got a very strong glare from Alfred for keeping this from him), then how he met Dani and befriended all of the other spirits. He talked about how they helped him, how they accepted the Robins as protectors of the city alongside Batman, how they taught him and assisted him in vigilantism, and how they were fundamental in protecting him and the city.
He went on to explain what and who they were in more detail, and when he described Jazz and Danny, everyone stared in a mixture of disbelief and awe. When it was done, everyone just stared at him with bafflement on their faces.
Bruce shifted uncomfortably. Alfred’s gaze was especially cutting.
“Wait… so… you’re saying that these all-powerful spirits look like… this?” Stephanie asked, clearly trying not to be rude as she gestured to them all.
Tucker snorted. “This isn’t our real form. It’s just our civilian one, so we can interact with you guys.”
Tim asked, “Could we see it? Your real forms?” He turned to look at Bruce questioningly, who just looked at Danny.
Danny shrugged with a smile and waved a hand in front of his face. In an instant, a veil slid over his head and back, inky black with twinkling stars lighting up the inside. He wore a formal vest and cape tie, with his coat shoulder robing him. His brooch shone brightly over his heart.
The air began to chill even further than the winter night.
Jazz took off her helmet and her red hair fell down in curly waves, her bodysuit exchanging for a dark fur coat and a long, blue dress with black gloves. Pearls circled her throat and wrists, dripping with blood. Her brooch flashed and Jason straightened his back at the sight of it.
Dan sighed and his bartender uniform melted away into a dark blue policeman uniform, formal and distinct. His skin turned translucently green and his hair bled white. His hat covered his eyes as he leaned back in his chair slowly. His brooch, cut in the shape of Nightwing’s symbol, was bright against his dark clothes.
Tucker waved his hands and his casual ware was exchanged for a high-tech suit that wasn’t dissimilar to Batman’s own appearance. However, there was no cape and the color was more gold and brown than black and gray. The white eyes were exchanged for a visor that flashed.
Sam brushed a hand against her skirt and her outfit turned into green and purple, something like what Poison Ivy would wear stretching and growing over her skin. Leafy clothes and flowery details covered her body until she could’ve blended into a garden perfectly. Flowers began to pop into existence beneath them all.
Wes shook his head and everything about him turned into granite. His clothes became formal, like a suit from the 1800s, and horns and wings began to grow from his head and back stiffly. He sat in his chair, unmoving and still.
Valerie flicked her hair behind her head and her yellow clothes began to bleed into white with red stains. She wore a uniform that looked like the combined versions of both a nurse and a doctor, with a cloth covering her mouth and red goggles over her eyes. Her curly hair seemed to have grown even messier.
Dani was the last to show off her form, and she spread her arms and her clothes transformed into that unique style she had developed not too long ago, something that looked like a cross between Batman and Robin. It was all black and gray, with yellow, green, and red accents. She had a bright yellow belt and a long cape that glimmered with holographic shapes.
“Ta da!” She cheered. “What do you all think?”
The air had become bone-freezing cold, frost appearing on Bruce’s eyelashes and his breath turning into white clouds. It was cold before, but now it was blood curdling. There was a pause where the spirits all looked at each other before they switched back in an instant, and the temperature flew up, warming them immediately.
Everyone sighed from the relief, and Bruce handed Alfred his cape, who sighed before taking it begrudgingly. Then in that moment, his kids stood up and approached the spirits as they immediately went to chat with one another, completely ignoring Bruce.
Dick ambushed Dan, who didn’t seem unhappy with him as he was immediately pulled into an animated conversation with him. Bruce recalled how Jazz and Dani talked about how much Dan liked his eldest son, so it was no surprise.
Dani was chatting with Stephanie and Cass, waving her arms exaggeratedly as she talked. Steph looked at her like she was the cutest thing on the planet, while Cass stared at her like she was an interesting, but endearing bug underneath a magnifying glass.
Damian and Tim were chatting with Valerie, Sam, and Wes in a serious conversation. They seemed to be debating something, with Damian and Valerie mostly doing the talking with Tim and Sam interjecting every once in awhile. Wes looked as though he was trying to instigate an argument, however, as everyone glared at him whenever he talked.
Jason had already pulled Jazz into a corner of the building, and they leaned against the wall and talked quietly, shoulders pressed together.
It looked… intimate.
Bruce almost wanted to march over there and pull them apart, but he barely held back when Danny and Tucker approached their table. Tucker immediately pulled Alfred into a conversation about the maintenance of the Batcomputer, mostly with the both of them complaining about how the kids were so messy around the keyboard.
Danny sat next to Bruce and said, “So why did you call us here?”
Bruce blinked, pulling his gaze away from his son and the spirit of Crime Alley. “What?”
“Why’d you call us here? You usually don’t summon us all at once.”
Bruce said, “Dani accidentally revealed herself to Tim and Dami. I thought it was high time that I introduced all of you.” Danny looked back at his siblings, all who were deep into their conversations.
Bruce followed his gaze, watching his kids have fun and make friends with the spirits.
He felt satisfied, looking at them. He wanted nothing more than for his children to be happy, safe, and protected. The spirits had helped him many times when he was still starting out as Batman, giving his advice and narrowly saving his life multiple times.
Now, hopefully, they would help his children too.
Bruce continued, “And it’s Christmas.”
Danny didn’t turn to look at him, only humming, “That’s true. It is the holiday season.”
“I got you and the rest of the spirits presents,” Bruce said, and Danny perked up.
“What?! Are you for real?!” Danny cried excitedly. “Can I see? Please? Now?”
Bruce laughed. He presented the gift to him, and when the other spirits took notice, they also approached, pulling away from their conversations. Jason and Jazz were the last to come over.
“Ooh, what is it?”
“Open it!”
“Do we also get one?”
Bruce passed out their gifts as his kids also crowded around and heckled them into opening it.
One by one, they all opened their gifts.
Dani received a bucket full of (human) treats and snacks, with a bottle of motor oil at the bottom. She cheered when she saw it and immediately opened a bag of gummies to share with everyone else.
Sam received several packs of the seeds of poisonous flowers and plants. She happily took it as the people around her took a wary step back away from her.
Tucker received a Bluetooth speaker. He declared that he would use it to annoy Bruce and Tim into sleeping whenever they stayed up too late, and everyone but Bruce and Tim cheered.
Wes received a high quality camera. Tim offered to help him use it efficiently, and he accepted, with both of them leaving the table to chat about it.
Valerie received a tube full of anesthesia. Like Sam, everyone took a step away from her as she hugged the capsule to herself.
Jazz received the bike that Bruce had asked Jason to bring. She jumped up and down and thanked him profusely and for some reason, Jason glared at him for it.
Dan received a photo album. He took a peek and then closed it tight, smiling to himself as he refused any questions asked. Bruce knew it was a photo album of the few times he was able to take pictures of the spirits, as well as an entire horde of Dick’s photos.
Danny received the deed to a new building built in Gotham City, an observatory tower for the stars. When he saw it, his face split into a beaming smile like a miniature sun and when the other spirits saw it, they also congratulated him, especially Dani who wanted to see it as well.
“It’s still being built,” Bruce explained, but Danny didn’t seem to care.
“Thank you so much!” He said happily, admiring the deed to the building in his hands.
Bruce felt various eyes from both spirits and humans on him. He didn’t mind. He smiled and enjoyed how much they all loved the gifts they got from him, gifts that they deserved. As all of the spirits admired their presents and chatted with his children, Alfred turned to him.
“If I recall correctly, I believe that you have mentioned them before. They must have been the friends you mentioned a long time ago, hm?”
Bruce nodded. “They’ve been with me since I first started.”
Alfred hummed. “They seem like good children.”
Bruce smiled and nodded again.
The hours passed and eventually, Sam and Valerie couldn’t handle the strain anymore. They disappeared back into their domains, signaling the end of the reunion. More and more spirits began to leave, with waning enthusiasm as their strength was being drained from being out too much. The car and laptop were left behind by Dani and Tucker when they disappeared. Only Jazz and Danny seemed relatively fine, as the rest began to leave back to their haunts. They still looked tired though, and Jazz politely excused herself.
“You’re leaving already?” Jason asked, as Jazz straddled her bike.
She nodded, her helmet covering her face once more.
“We’ll talk more later?” Jazz said, and Jason gave a firm nod.
“At 2. At the usual place.”
She nodded and left, fading into shadows.
Danny was the only one left. He held the deed in his hands and smiled sweetly. “Thank you, Bruce. You should go home now. Spend some time with your family. We appreciate the gifts you’ve given to us, champion, and do not worry, we will watch over the city and your family.”
Bruce gave a nod.
Danny reached over and put a hand on his shoulder. The weight of it was heavy and significant, but it also spread a warmth through Bruce’s body.
It was an extra blessing for the night.
Bruce gave him a minuscule dip of his head. Danny just smiled and like a cloud, dissipated.
Bruce released a small sigh of relief.
Truthfully, he wasn’t sure what he had felt about his kids and the spirits meeting. He wanted the spirits to protect them. He wanted his kids to accept them. He was just… scared. For some reason.
But everything had gone well.
The spirits had always loved his children, and his kids were never probably not able to offend them. After all, they were also vigilantes of Gotham, and all of them risked their lives on the daily to help the city.
It was no shock that they got along like a house on fire.
The blessings of the spirits meant a lot.
His children would now have extra help by their side to keep them safe if he wasn’t able to.
It was Cass that spoke up and brought him out of his thoughts.
“B? Home now?”
Bruce nodded.
He felt… strangely full. Like eating a full meal. He felt satisfied and content.
He smiled, then. “Shall we go do some last minute Christmas shopping?”
Alfred sighed, as the kids cheered, enthusiastically agreeing since they now wanted to open their own gifts after watching the spirits. Bruce couldn’t help but laugh as Cass stuck by his side and Damian insisted on picking another fight with Tim with Jason instigating as always.
Bruce blinked and looked up as he felt something cold fall over his face.
Snowflakes drifted down, bright against the dark sky.
Alfred hummed. “It’s snowing. Master Bruce, shall we go back into the Batmobile?”
Bruce smiled.
“Yes. Let’s go.”
It was Christmas Eve. And with his family by his side and the blessings of the spirits, Bruce had nothing else to worry about for awhile.
“Wait, B! We’re not patrolling today?”
Bruce shook his head. The spirits had agreed to patrol for him, so he could spend the entire day with his family. They all looked surprisingly hopeful at him, even Jason.
Yes, it was a good day today.
Tomorrow would be even better.
“Nope. Today and tomorrow are days all to ourselves!”
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Merry Christmas (Eve)! I hope you guys enjoyed this fic. It’s scary how the year is already starting to end. Ty to @meditating-cat for betaing my fic for me!
Me: *writing a Bruce-sympathetic fic*
Me: Is this character development (for me)?
This fic is meant to be comical and fun, so I tried to breeze past the sad parts as best as I could.
At one point, Danny was acting too mature and this fic was starting to look like a Spirit Halloween ship fic, so I had to quickly change things up :,/
This fic is inspired by this idea specifically, but also about the Gotham City spirit Danny AU on my blog here. (Look at the tags for more).
Wolf is Jazz’s vigilante name and she is part of my assistant!Jazz AU.
339 notes · View notes
starlightkun · 3 days ago
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⇢ word count: 6.9k ⇢ genre: fluff, established relationship, secret relationship, office workers!jisung & reader, holiday themed, a bit of a crackfic (everyone in this is slightly unhinged and you should NOT act like them in your actual workplace PLEASE), appearances from absolute nuisances nohyuck (mainly hyuck being a nuisance and jeno being a desk candy bowl thief) and chill boss johnny (he’s actually the only normal one around this office fr), part of my 2024 hallmark movie marathon ⇢ warnings: lots of discussions of sex/sleeping together (nohyuck have an absolutely unhinged plot to have reader hook up w jisung w/o realizing that they’re already dating, shenanigans ensue) ⇢ extra info: this was originally going to be part of want from me, but i felt like i was losing the plot a bit, so i tweaked some stuff and made it its own fic instead this is part of my 2024 hallmark movie marathon, three short, unrelated fics starring jisung all with cheesy hallmark christmas movie-esque premises. there’s no continuing plotline between fics in this series, they’re all standalone fics ⇢ author’s note: ok i may be stretching the concept of a ‘cheesy hallmark movie’ in this one, but there’s a holiday party. sue me. ⇢ 2024 hallmark movie marathon
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“You need to fuck Jisung.” Donghyuck sat on your desk the following Monday, nearly knocking your cup of pens over.
“What happened to hello? How are you?”
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“I get why you didn’t want to tell anybody when I was interviewing,” Jisung sighed as you adjusted his tie for him. “But don’t you think everyone’s formed their own opinions about me by now?”
“You told me Mr. Kang called you Joosung yesterday,” you pointed out. “We agreed after your three-month evaluation, remember?”
“That’s next month!”
“Two weeks. December tenth, to be exact, will be three months since you started.”
“I know, I know.” He pulled you closer by your hips, burying his face in your neck. “Thank you.”
You rested one hand on the nape of his neck, the other stroking his hair. “I hate it too. I was in the bathroom yesterday and overheard a couple of the women from budgeting talking about you. Apparently one of them wants to ask you to the holiday party.”
He lifted his head up, squinting with confusion. “Wait, was it Song Minji from budgeting?”
“Yes…”
“Yesterday she asked me if I was going, I said yes, then she asked if I had a date, and I said no, and she said she didn’t either. Then she just stared at me. It was really awkward, so I told her I had to get back to my spreadsheets and walked away.”
You burst out laughing, covering your mouth as your boyfriend continued looking down at you with absolutely endearing confusion. Patting his cheek, you informed him gently, “She was waiting for you to ask her to the party, baby.”
“Well, even if I knew that, I wouldn’t have,” he huffed.
“I know, Sungie,” you kissed his cheek. “I know.”
“Good.”
You glanced at the time on your bedside clock, tapping his arm indicatively. “We’ve got to go.”
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“Y/N, someone from bookkeeping will be over to pick these receipts up today,” Mr. Suh, your boss, informed you, setting a large banker box down on the ledge behind your computer monitor.
You nodded. “You sure you don’t want me to just take them over there now?”
Bookkeeping was on the same floor as your team, just on the opposite side of the large office building.
“No, I’ve got six more boxes in my office. They should be coming with a dolly. I’ve got a lunch meeting, then I’m on-site at a build. Can you make sure they get them all?”
“Of course. See you tomorrow, then.”
“Thank you. See you tomorrow.” He smiled and reached into your candy bowl, securing a chocolate for himself before heading off towards the elevator.
As you continued working up your reports, another figure approached your desk.
“Hi.” Jisung smiled down at you from over the banker box.
“And what is a bookkeeping gremlin doing over here?” You teased, having already spotted the bright orange dolly next to him. “They let you guys out of your cages?”
“Just me, because I’m on a mission.” He did a little mock salute, making you giggle. He then looked between the dolly and the box. “But I don’t really think this was necessary…”
“There’s six more boxes in Mr. Suh’s office,” you informed him happily, pointing to your boss’ door.
“Oh.”
Two of your team members, Donghyuck and Jeno, congregated around your desk then as well, Jeno zeroing in on your candy bowl as always, and Donghyuck snooping at what you were doing on your screen.
“Boring!” Hyuck declared, hitting CTRL + S on your keyboard to save it for you before exiting out of the program. “Lunchtime!”
“Hey, I was working on that, you know,” you protested, keeping up your usual banter with your work friend.
“Now you’re not,” he shrugged.
“Actually, you were chatting with…” Jeno trailed off, looking at Jisung expectantly.
“Jisung,” your boyfriend filled in.
“—You were chatting with Jisung when we got here,” Jeno finished, popping another chocolate in his mouth and tucking it in his cheek to talk around it. “So you weren’t really working.”
“She was telling me where the other boxes of receipts were,” Jisung explained quickly, gesturing to the dolly. “I’m supposed to pick them up. I’m from bookkeeping.”
Hyuck scanned him from head to toe. “You’re new, right?”
He nodded.
“Come to lunch with us.”
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“No, Hyuck,” you snorted, cutting up your food as your coworker attempted to show you a picture of another one of his friends over lunch. “The last asshole you set me up with stood me up, remember?”
“I told you, Jaemin got a stomach bug!” Hyuck insisted. “And that was like, over a year ago!”
You looked at him pointedly. “And he could text you but not me? Think about it.”
“Okay, so he was a flake, but Mark is like, a really good guy!” He elbowed your other coworker next to him. “Jeno, back me up!”
Jeno shrugged. “Eh, he seems like the kind of guy to call you ‘bro’ in bed.”
“Not the kind of back-up I meant!”
“Am I wrong?”
“Why are you thinking about what Mark would call you in bed, Jeno?” You snickered.
He stuck his tongue out at you, and you mimicked him.
Hyuck pushed on in his seemingly never-ending pursuit to set you up with his also never-ending pool of single friends. “Ignore him, Y/N. Will you at least consider? For me? Your bestest friend?”
“I never see you outside of work functions,” you pointed out.
“Please? Pretty please? Pretty pretty please?”
“Whatever. Send me his CV,” you said noncommittally, taking a bite of your food.
“On it!”
“Wait, he’s applying for a job?” Jisung finally spoke from his seat beside you, his confusion apparent.
“No, that’s just what they call whatever information Hyuck sends her about the guys he tries to set her up with,” Jeno explained for him. “It ends up being pretty much the same stuff that’s on a résumé, though.”
Hyuck then focused in on a new target. “Jisung, what about you?”
He froze. “What?”
“Are you single?”
“Uhm—”
“Lie if you have to,” you advised. “Once he smells blood, you’re done for.”
“I’m not a shark!” Hyuck took great offense to this comparison. “I’m-I’m like Cupid!”
You let out a derisive laugh at that, stabbing your fork into your food and lifting your next bite to your mouth.
“I’ve got a girlfriend,” Jisung answered hurriedly.
Hyuck narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “So you’re bringing her to the Christmas party.”
“I-I don’t know, we uhm—we just started seeing each other.”
“You’ll bring her to the next monthly mixer, then?”
“I’m pretty sure this is workplace harassment,” you stepped in on Jisung’s behalf, giving Hyuck a disapproving look. “We had a seminar, remember?”
“You’re not curious?”
“No, I don’t care to see you bother poor Jisung for the rest of our fleeting lunch break.”
“Fine, I won’t disturb Y/N’s precious lunch break,” he gave in melodramatically. “But I want to hear about her when we get back to the office, Jisung.”
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When you and Jisung got home that evening, you waited until the two of you had gotten out of your work clothes to address the pout on his lips that had been present ever since lunch.
“What’s wrong?” You asked, sitting at your dining table with him.
He started unpacking the to-go food. “Why did you tell Donghyuck to send you that guy’s info?”
“To get him to shut up about it. He would’ve done that for our whole lunch break, Sungie.” You shook your head, watching as he avoided your eyes. “Are you jealous? It’s not like I’m actually going to do anything with it.”
“I know, but I still don’t like that he’s sending you dating résumés, and it’s apparently been a regular thing?”
“Okay, I know we made it sound like it happens all the time,” you agreed. “This is like the third time, including the guy who stood me up last year. When you and I started dating, I told Hyuck not to bother anymore. But then he heard that I wasn’t bringing a date to the holiday party, and he started his little matchmaking thing again. That’s why I never told you, because there never was anything to tell.”
“I’m sorry if it sounded like I was accusing you of something, baby,” Jisung murmured, reaching for your hand over the table.
“Do you want me to block him or something?”
He sighed. “No, of course not.”
“Damn it, I was hoping you’d say yes. I’ve been looking for an excuse for years.”
He finally chuckled at that, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.
“Here.” You brought out your phone and stood behind him, maneuvering your arms around his shoulders so he could see your screen as you opened your texts with Hyuck and started deleting the most recent ones debriefing you on his newest eligible bachelor for you.
“Wait a second.” Jisung stopped you before you could delete all the pictures that Hyuck had sent.
“What?”
To your surprise, your boyfriend actually opened one of the pictures of the guy.
“Jeno was right,” he snorted, closing out of the picture.
“Wh—Oh,” you started laughing. “Yeah, absolutely.”
You finished deleting everything about the guy, then shut your phone off. “All gone. Can’t even remember his name.”
Jisung pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Thanks, baby.”
“And I’ll tell Hyuck no more in the future. Sound good?”
“No, maybe it’s for the best. I don’t think you need to be subjected to the interrogation I went through today.” He leaned his head against yours affectionately.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I trust you.”
“Aw, thank you, Sungie.” You kissed his hair then hugged him properly. “I knew that. It was cute to see you get jealous, though.”
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“You need to fuck Jisung.” Donghyuck sat on your desk the following Monday, nearly knocking your cup of pens over.
“What happened to hello? How are you?” You blinked up at him incredulously, rescuing your writing utensils and pushing them to a far corner.
“No time, we need to save our new favorite little bookkeeping gremlin.” He quickly saved your project and closed the window on your computer.
“And you think having sex with me is the cure for cancer or something?” You snorted. “They really wasted their money on your slot in that workplace harassment seminar.”
“No, look, he’s in an awful, awful situationship. I know he said she’s his girlfriend at lunch the other day, but he doesn’t have any pictures of her, he didn’t want to show me her social media. He said she probably wouldn’t be able to come to the mixer because of her ‘work schedule’—” Hyuck used finger quotes around the words ‘work schedule’ “—but the way he said, it sounded like he was just preemptively making excuses because he knew she would turn him down. I asked him about their first date, and you want to know his answer?”
“What?” You asked dryly.
“That they don’t really do ‘that stuff!’” More air quotes.
“Okay?”
“Then I asked what stuff they do do, and he turned bright red!”
“So he’s lying about having a girlfriend to get you off his back.”
“Mm, she sounded pretty real.”
“Okay, maybe he’s twisting the truth and he’s got a fuckbuddy and he still doesn’t want you playing matchmaker,” you suggested another alternative. “Either way, you should leave him alone.”
“No, look, I’ve got this all figured out. He needs to be reminded that there’s women other than this girl—”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “How do you have a rotating roster of men to throw at me, but somehow the only woman that comes to mind for your braindead plan is the one in your immediate line of sight? This is confirming my suspicions that you get no bitches, Lee Donghyuck. Have you talked to a single woman other than me and your mother?”
“Listen, it has to be you so nobody catches feelings!”
“So you’re saying I’m unlovable?”
His eyes widened comically as he went to backpedal. “No, of course not! I meant—Jeno, back me up!”
Jeno, who had been silently leaning against the ledge behind your computer monitor this whole time, happily snacking on the red and green Hershey’s kisses in your candy bowl, slowly finished off the one in his mouth before speaking. “Here’s the thing—”
“You condone this?” You scoffed.
He shrugged. “It’s like, his second-worst idea. Marginally better than setting you up with Na Jaemin.”
“Why do I bother asking for your back-up?” Hyuck muttered.
“But he doesn’t think you’re unlovable. He just knows that you’re a professional, and Jisung is still a newbie and works in a different department. So obviously, there’s like no risk of catching feelings if you guys do… Because work, you know?”
You sat back in your chair, glancing between the two of them dubiously. “Do you two think these are normal things to say to people? At work? To your coworker?”
They looked at each other with wide, horrified eyes, beginning to stutter apologetically.
“I’m in,” you declared abruptly, watching their jaws drop. You then focused your next sentence at Hyuck specifically. “If you’ll stop trying to set me up.”
“Done,” he agreed immediately.
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Jisung had excitedly told you about the results of his three-month evaluation to you over dinner that evening, and as you two cleaned up after, you relayed your conversation with your coworkers to him.
“I finally got Hyuck to stop setting me up. Permanently,” you announced in a sing-songy voice, drying the last dish Jisung had just handed you before putting it up in the cabinet.
“Really? Did you find out he killed someone or something?” He asked, shaking the water off his hands over the sink before grabbing the towel hanging in front of it to start drying his hands.
“Nope, he just asked me to do something.”
“Oh, and who do you have to kill?”
“Nobody.” You wrapped your arms around his waist from behind him. “You see, he’s very concerned that this ‘girlfriend’ of yours doesn’t like you as much as you like her.”
“I know we’re literally coworkers, but he needs to get a job,” Jisung retorted.
“Why did you say we didn’t go dates when he asked about our first date?”
“I was afraid you might’ve mentioned it before and I didn’t want him to connect the dots if I told the same story.”
“You couldn’t come up with a fake first date? Carnival? Arcade? Dinner?”
“I was panicking!”
“Anyway, he thinks you’re in a toxic situationship, and that the only solution is for me to sleep with you.”
“Wait what?!” His muscles flexed and contracted under your hands with his words, and he seemed almost oblivious as you continued roaming them over his front.
“Because we would never catch feelings for each other, obviously,” you informed him with mocking seriousness, making him scoff.
“I assume you told him to fuck off and stop setting you up anyway?”
“Nope.”
“Huh?”
You finally put a hand under his shirt to touch his bare skin, and he shivered and jerked away instinctively.
“Ah! Cold hands, baby,” he whined, but made no further moves to get away.
“Then let me warm them up, Sungie,” you giggled, pressing your fingers more intentionally against his skin. “Anyway, why would I pass up the perfect opportunity to fuck with Hyuck and fuck my hot boyfriend at the same time?”
“I don’t think I like how similar that phrasing was.”
“Sungie,” you dragged out the last vowel pleadingly.
“So you’ve got a scheme?” He asked knowingly.
“A fun one,” you promised, kissing his neck. “In multiple senses of the word. But it means everyone finding out we’re together a few days later than we planned. Is that okay?”
He let out a deep sigh. “Alright. What’s first?”
“I’ve got to hold up my end of the deal, of course.”
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Donghyuck and Jeno were quick to swarm you first thing in the morning. They at least brought you a coffee this time. There was no work up on your computer yet for Hyuck to close out of, so he just made himself at home on top of your papers that were on your desk instead.
“Okay, we need to brainstorm,” Hyuck got right to business as Jeno dug into your candy bowl. Well, not the business you were actually sitting inside of, but his plot. “The holiday party is on Friday. I’m thinking if you start being a little flirty leading up to it, like casual, you know, not too much, that should warm him up.”
“The more planning you put into this, the creepier it gets,” you informed him, taking a sip of your coffee.
The elevator dinged then, and Jisung stepped off, eyes focused on his feet as he hurried off towards the break room. The elevator opened towards your side of the floor, while bookkeeping was on the other side, and the breakroom, storage closet, and copy room were situated at the midpoints on the floor.
“Jisung’s late?” Jeno commented, bewildered. “Didn’t he say he always gets here ten minutes early to make his coffee before everyone else?”
Hyuck looked at this as well, eyes narrowing. He turned back to you and Jeno. “Did you guys see that big hickey on his neck? Now he’s running late and wearing the same tie as yesterday? This is why we need to help him. Anyway—”
You shifted in your seat then, readjusting your blazer so that it ‘accidentally’ pulled your blouse just enough to show off a love bite situated on your collarbone.
Hyuck actually froze in place, staring at you as he short-circuited. Jeno gave you a quiet, short round of applause.
“Damn, you work fast,” he commented.
You looked down at where Hyuck was staring, as if belatedly realizing your mistake, moving your neckline back up to cover it again.
“You really…” Donghyuck trailed off, blinking rapidly as he began rebooting.
You shrugged. “Didn’t want to announce it like we were in a locker room.”
“He’s walking over here,” Jeno coughed under his breath.
And sure enough, Jisung approached your desk. He looked uncertainly at Donghyuck sitting next to you, and ended up standing by Jeno behind the ledge, finally looking you in the eye.
“H-Hi, Y/N,” he stuttered nervously.
“Morning, Jisung,” you greeted him brightly. “Kiss?”
“Huh?!” He squeaked.
“Hershey kiss?” You pointed to the bowl that Jeno was grabbing another candy from. “They’re caramel filled.”
“O-Oh. Sure, thanks.” He took a green one. “S-See you later.”
“Bye.”
With that, Jisung skittered away, back off towards bookkeeping. Hyuck and Jeno both turned to you with wide eyes.
“I’ve made a grave miscalculation,” Hyuck whispered.
“That boy is pussy whipped,” Jeno whistled lowly.
You rolled your eyes at them. “Or maybe you guys were looking at the two of us with flashing ‘I KNOW YOU HAD SEX’ signs over your heads.”
“Oh, did I forget to leave that at home again?” Hyuck replied snidely, mockingly swatting just above his head. He then leaned in to whisper-yell at you, “Do you actually have the cure for cancer in there because what the hell was that?!”
“Good morning, Mr. Suh!” You chirped at your boss as he walked by.
Hyuck sat up straight, saluting to your boss. “Good morning, Mr. Suh!”
“Mornin’, Mr. Suh,” Jeno said through a mouthful of candy.
“Morning, morning, morning,” Mr. Suh greeted each of you in turn, then yawned. “Ugh, is it Friday yet?”
“Not quite, unfortunately,” you chuckled.
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At home that night, you were keeled over with laughter on your couch, clutching your stomach as you and Jisung recalled the looks on your coworkers’ faces this morning.
“Who knew you were such a good actor, Sungie?” You choked out through laughter, wiping at your tears.
“I just had to act like I was madly in love with you, that wasn’t acting, baby,” he smiled fondly, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer. “I’ve had to act every day at work except today.”
“So smooth, Park Jisung,” you giggled, kissing him.
“It’s the truth.”
“I know. You’ve never been smooth, just honest. And I love that about you.”
“Ouch, and also thanks?”
You snickered and kissed his pout. “Ready for tomorrow?”
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Stepping off the elevator in the morning, you didn’t spare another glance to Jisung, who had ridden up with you. Typically, you would take separate elevators, one of you waiting for the next one, but today, you broke that rule. You dropped off your purse at your desk before going to the break room and making your usual cup of coffee.
Jeno and Donghyuck were already waiting for you at your desk. You rolled your eyes at them. “You two have your own desks, you know?”
“You and Jisung got here at the same time,” Jeno stated.
“Is there a question in there?” You raised an eyebrow at him, taking a sip of your coffee.
“Did you get a new shampoo?” Donghyuck asked, leaning forward to sniff the air around your head.
You swatted at him. “Personal space?”
“That doesn’t smell like a woman’s shampoo…” He went back in for another sniff.
“Quit it, freak!” You rolled away from him.
“What’s happening?” A third voice had joined you all, right on time. Jisung was at your desk, cup of coffee in hand.
“Nothing, Jisung.” You threw on a bright smile, scooting back up to your desk. “What can I do for you?”
“I-I just uhm, I wanted to say good morning. And I brought you some coffee.” He offered the cup out to you.
“Aw, thanks,” you said sincerely, then looked down at your own cup on your desk regretfully. “But I already got some.”
His face fell. “O-Oh. I guess I’ll—”
“Hold on, Jisung!” Donghyuck stopped him from leaving, hopping off your desk. Jisung froze in place as your coworker grabbed his arm. First, he took the coffee from his hand and set it on the ledge behind your monitor, then he grabbed your boyfriend’s collar and yanked him down to take a deep whiff of his hair. Jisung yelped at the rough treatment, arms flailing until Hyuck let him go, giving him a loud slap on the shoulder. “That’s all. Thanks for the coffee.”
“Lunch later?” Jeno offered to him. “All four of us.”
“S-Sure,” he looked at you and blushed before hurrying away.
You crossed your arms as you glared at Hyuck. “You literally just assaulted him.”
“And you—” He pointed at you dramatically, “—slept with him again. That’s his shampoo that I was smelling on you.”
“I think my extracurriculars are none of your business.”
“Mm, Jisung’s more of a co-curricular, don’t you think?”
Jeno snickered.
“I think it’s still none of your business.”
“This wasn’t the plan, Y/N.”
“I did your stupid plan, Hyuck. Why are you so obsessed with Jisung’s sex life? Is it because you’re not getting any?” You taunted.
“Nice attempt to deflect, but the plan was to get him to stop being strung along by that other girl. Not for you to start stringing him along.”
“You make me sound like an evil witch.”
“So you’re serious about Jisung then?” Hyuck gasped mockingly. “Adorable. Gonna be each other’s date to the holiday party? When are you meeting the parents? Have you picked a ring yet?”
You bit down on your lip and looked at your lap to avoid laughing, which he thankfully seemed to interpret as guilt on your part.
“Exactly as I thought,” he said smugly.
“The puppy love thing is cute now, but it’s probably best for working together in the long run to just let him down easy sooner,” Jeno gave some surprisingly wise advice through a half-eaten Hershey’s kiss.
Having composed yourself, you finally let out a contemplative, resigned sigh. “Yeah, you guys are probably right.”
“Always are,” Hyuck tsked.
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Lunch was honestly kind of fun—It felt like being a kid with a crush again, sneaking glances at Jisung, trying not to be too obvious about your flirting, and playing innocent when your coworkers would shoot you pointed looks every time Jisung did something totally head-over-heels for you.
Mid-afternoon, and Jisung was back at your desk. He had a few papers in his hand, some flimsy excuse of questions about the receipts he’d picked up last week, but really, you two were just talking. Discussing what to make for dinner, additions to the grocery list, what you were working on, little things.
The sound of a door opening caught your attention, and you looked over to see Mr. Suh coming out of his office. He’d just been on a phone conference, and had his empty coffee mug in his hand.
“Hi, Mr. Suh.” You sat up a little straighter. “Afternoon decaf?”
“Yep.” He lifted the mug in greeting as he walked by, heading for the breakroom.
“I’m going back to my cage with the other bookkeeping gremlins,” Jisung murmured. “Don’t want him to catch me still here when he gets back.”
“Laser beams aren’t going to come out of his eyes and incinerate you on the spot if he does, you know,” you giggled.
“How do you know?” He tapped your desk rhythmically, then mouthed, ‘See you later.’
You mouthed it back, contentedly watching him walk away. You were back to working on your reports when Mr. Suh returned from the break room. He drifted over to your desk, however, standing against the ledge conspiratorially.
“Was that the new kid in bookkeeping?” He asked lightly, taking a sip of his coffee.
“Yeah, Park Jisung,” you informed him. At your boss’ inquisitive lean forward, you gave a little more context, “He picked up those receipts last week and Hyuck ended up inviting him out for lunch with us.”
“He seems to be over here quite a bit recently.”
“We chitchat sometimes.” You paused, then widened your eyes. “Is that a problem? Nothing’s been late or anything, has it?”
He gave you his usual easy-going smile. “It’s fine, Y/N. Your work has been great as usual.”
“Okay, good.”
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“Hi, baby,” Jisung greeted you brightly that evening from your usual meet-up place after work. If neither of you had to stay late, or had an errand to run after work, you would meet up outside a cornerstore a couple blocks away from the office.
“Hi, co-curricular,” you beamed back, leaning into the kiss he was pressing to your cheek.
He pulled away with an adorably confused pout on his face. You laughed, taking his arm in yours as you started down the sidewalks together, relaying your conversation with Hyuck and Jeno this morning.
“I don’t know what’s funnier, the idea of me genuinely ‘stringing you along’ or your new nickname,” you giggled, squeezing his arm.
“You already changed my phone contact, didn’t you?”
“I put a heart next to it!”
“The rumor has spread to bookkeeping, by the way.”
You blinked at him in mock surprise. “You guys have office gossip over there?”
“Yeah, we finally invented the wheel and have time to gossip now,” he snorted, rolling his eyes. “Huang Renjun told me he heard Song Minji and Park Chaeyeon talking about it in the copy room.”
“That’s how it breached containment,” you tutted. Chaeyeon was from your department, but you knew she and Minji were office friends. She must have overheard it from your area—Hyuck wasn’t exactly the quietest man you knew, and there was no way your other coworkers hadn’t noticed Jisung’s frequent trips to your desk if Mr. Suh had.
“Uh-huh.”
“What exactly were they saying? Did Renjun tell you?”
“Some stuff he didn’t want to repeat about you—” He cleared his throat. “But mostly, he wanted to ask me what, if anything was true. I felt bad lying, I like Renjun.”
“Yeah, he was my favorite bookkeeping gremlin before you started.”
Jisung elbowed you, obviously offended. “I still did bookkeeping before I worked here! I just did it somewhere else!”
“He was my favorite at this company before you started. Better?”
“Much.” He smiled as you leaned in to kiss his nose. “I told him the rumors weren’t true.”
“That wasn’t a lie!” You reminded him emphatically. “We’re not just coworkers with benefits, or co-curriculars, or recently started secretly dating, or whatever!”
“I’m just glad we only have two more days of this.” He laced his fingers with yours. “I want to be able to have a picture of us on my desk, and talk about you to everyone, and show up and leave together.”
“Me too,” you agreed, fond smile on your lips as you approached your front door. “It’s been fun, but the best part will be when everyone knows you’re mine. For real.”
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This was weird. You had been at work for thirty minutes and hadn’t seen nor heard Hyuck or Jeno. Maybe today would be normal for once. As soon as that idea had crossed your mind, they came beelining for your desk, and you knew that would be impossible.
“Good—” You couldn’t even get a friendly greeting out of your mouth, Donghyuck fully sitting on top of your keyboard, entering a bunch of random characters into the email you had been writing. “Uhm, you know, that email to Mr. Suh wasn’t important, actually…”
Yanking your keyboard out from under Hyuck, you deleted the gibberish and saved the draft email before setting it aside to deal with whatever was going on. You looked at your coworkers expectantly.
“Y/N…” Jeno surprisingly took the lead. “How did you go about letting Jisung down easy?”
You blinked in surprise. “What are you talking about? I just told him we should keep it professional and not see each other anymore…? And that was it.”
“And how did he take it?”
“Fine?” You glanced between their extremely serious demeanors with increasing worry. “Why? What’s going on?”
“We just had to comfort a crying Jisung in the men’s room for the past thirty minutes, that’s what’s going on!” Hyuck finally hissed. “I don’t think your easy is very easy!”
You leaned away from him in utter shock. That was definitely not part of the plan today, and now you were genuinely worried about why your boyfriend was apparently crying in the men’s room—he definitely wasn’t a good enough actor to do that on the spot.
“Woah, I didn’t—”
“Well, you did.”
“You don’t get to pin all the blame on me here,” you shot back immediately. “Whose stupid fucking plan was it for me to sleep with him in the first place anyway? If I recall, you never found him crying in the bathroom with his last girl that you were so concerned over.”
“You diverted from the plan and he got attached!”
“Okay, it’s everyone’s fault!” Jeno cut in decisively.
“What’s everyone’s fault?” Mr. Suh stopped by your desk, briefcase in hand as he had just gotten into the office. “There’s been an awful lot of whispering going on over here. Something I should know about?”
“No, Mr. Suh!” Hyuck chirped brightly. “Lunch plans fell through, we’re just rescheduling.”
Your boss looked at you skeptically, waiting for confirmation. You nodded hurriedly. “Yeah, lunch plans.”
“Alright.” He shrugged. “There’s a good sandwich place a block over. If you’re looking for recommendations.”
And with that, he went into his office.
Turning back to Hyuck and Jeno, you whispered, “I swear to God, I wasn’t expecting him to be crying. Okay?”
“We’re being a little harsh on you,” Jeno admitted quietly. “We should all just leave Jisung alone, I think.”
He took a candy out of your bowl and departed your desk without another word. Hyuck followed, still shaking his head. You quickly brought your phone out, immediately texting Jisung.
[you: BABY SOS]
He texted back immediately
[co-curricular 🩷: IM HERE]
[co-curricular 🩷: WHAT’S WRONG????]
[you: im fine but are YOU okay?!]
[you: jeno and hyuck told me they found you crying in the bathroom]
[co-curricular 🩷: oh nonono im okay baby i promise]
[co-curricular 🩷: im in the copy room, can you come so i can explain?]
[you: omw]
You hurried from your desk to the copy room, relieved to find it devoid of any coworkers except Jisung, who was attending to a copy machine, placing documents on the glass, closing the lid, and copying them in a steady rhythm.
“Sungie,” you breathed out in relief, darting over to him, needing to see his face for yourself.
“Hey, baby, hey,” he said soothingly, letting you wrap an arm around his waist and lean into him affectionately. “I’m okay, I’m okay.”
You stepped back, cognizant of the fact that any of your coworkers could enter at any moment. “So what were Hyuck and Jeno talking about then?”
“When we got in this morning, the temperature change from the cold air outside to the heat inside the building was making my eyes water and my nose run,” he explained, gesturing to his face. “I went to take care of it in the bathroom. Donghyuck and Jeno ran into me while I was cleaning myself up and assumed I had been crying. Nothing I said could convince them otherwise, and they of course also assumed it was connected to their advice to you to let me down easy. So I played along. I know it wasn’t part of the plan, but I couldn’t get them to let it go.”
“I was almost feeling bad about lying to them, but they do this to themselves.” You crossed your arms, leaning against the wall next to his copy machine. Your tone softened as you added, “I’m really happy you’re okay, Sungie.”
“I’m happy you checked on me so quick, baby.” He smiled, taking a step closer to peck your forehead. He lowered his voice to say, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you murmured, looking up at him, fighting the urge to just grab his suit jacket and kiss him. “Lunch later?”
His nose wrinkled with distaste. “Are Hyuck and Jeno coming too?”
“Just us? At home?”
“Oh?”
“I miss you.”
He nodded. “I miss you too.”
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It was finally Friday, finally the day of the office holiday party. You just had to survive work and lay the last couple breadcrumbs, then it would all be over tonight.
You were making your morning cup of coffee in the breakroom with Hyuck and Jeno, and went to engage them in conversation. “Are you guys bringing anyone to the party tonight?”
“Nah.” Hyuck poured his own cup.
“You’re not beating the ‘no bitches’ allegations.” You clicked your tongue.
“I think it’s a bit weird to bring someone you’re not like… properly dating to a work event and introduce them to your coworkers,” Jeno answered, rooting through the employee fridge.
“So that’s a no?”
“Correct,” he mimicked your taunting tone of voice.
Jisung, who had been quietly measuring out sugar into his own cup of coffee at a far counter, apart from your conversation physically but definitely within earshot, inserted himself then, “I’m bringing a date.”
Jeno hit his head on a shelf in the fridge. “Shit—! Huh?”
“You are?!” Hyuck blinked at him, utterly shocked.
You slowly turned around to face Jisung, cocking your head. “Oh, me too.”
“Since when?!” Hyuck snorted.
“Just because I didn’t tell you about it doesn’t mean I haven’t had one,” you hissed.
He rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”
Jisung nodded, and you saw the corner of his lips twitch, ever-so-slightly, too small for anybody who didn’t know him as well as you to catch. “Guess I’ll see you and your date tonight, then.”
“Same. You, as well.” You nodded curtly, watching him pivot on his heel and stride out of the breakroom.
“You don’t have a fucking date,” Hyuck stated dryly as soon as he was no longer in eyesight.
“That was hard to watch,” Jeno said, opening a Tupperware of food that definitely had somebody else’s name on it.
“And neither does he,” Hyuck continued, pointing to the doorway that Jisung had disappeared through. “No way he’s found somebody in a day. Unless…” He looked at Jeno with alarm. “Oh no. You don’t think…?”
Jeno squinted. “What?”
“What if he brings his toxic situationship to get back at Y/N?” Hyuck gasped. He then turned to you, “Look, I guess I can see if Mark’s free tonight—”
“No,” you cut him off firmly. “I’ve already got someone in mind.”
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“So beautiful, baby,” Jisung murmured, taking one of your hands and kissing your knuckles.
“Hey, I’m trying to fix your tie clip,” you laughed, pulling your hand back from him to continue adjusting his tie clip that had gone askew thanks to his seatbelt.
The two of you were standing outside the venue of the office holiday party. You were fashionably late, as part of the plan. You had to make sure Hyuck and Jeno were already there, so they could see you arrive together, wearing your coordinated outfits. Jisung’s tie was of course a complimentary shade of the color of your dress—not too matchy-matchy like kids at a grade school formal, but clearly together, not accidental.
“There.” You smoothed out the lapels of his suit jacket, smiling up at him. “So handsome.”
He kissed your cheek. “Thank you.”
“Are you ready?”
“More than.” He grinned, lacing his fingers with yours.
Walking in, instrumental Christmas music was playing over the speakers and a steady hum of conversation filled the room. There were a few familiar faces near the front, but nobody you were overly friendly with. You grabbed Jisung’s shoulder for support as you went to talk to him over the din of the crowd. He hunched over slightly to listen to you better, holding you steady with a hand on your hip.
“Want to get a drink first?” You suggested.
“Sure,” he agreed, keeping his hand on your lower back as you moved through the sea of people.
There was a special cocktail for the night, ‘Mistletoe While You Work,’ which you ordered out of curiosity. Once it was in your hand, you took a sip, and you were pleasantly surprised. Not too sweet, and you couldn’t taste the liquor at all.
“Hey, baby,” you smirked, holding your glass up between yours and Jisung’s faces. “Uh-oh, we’re under mistletoe… kinda.”
Jisung laughed, and you put the glass down to watch his face crinkle up and his nose scrunch in all its adorable glory. “Mm, hard to argue with that.”
You were still smiling as you pressed your lips to his in a short but sweet kiss. He kept you close when you broke apart, an arm still wound around your waist.
“Uhm, Merry fucking Christmas to you guys, too,” Hyuck announced himself, standing off to the side, his own drink in hand and Jeno of course with him.
“Oh, hey guys,” you greeted them nonchalantly. “Merry Christmas.”
“What happened to your dates?” Jeno cut right to the chase.
You and Jisung pointed to each other, making nearly identical faces as if you were oblivious to why Jeno and Hyuck were confused.
Hyuck started buffering as he tried to process the situation. “What…?”
“We’ve been together this whole time,” you finally put them out of their misery, watching as their jaws dropped simultaneously.
“Since before I interviewed, actually,” your boyfriend added.
“Over a year, to be exact.”
“You guys are sick in the head,” Hyuck jabbed an accusatory finger at you both.
“Who was making a whole convoluted plan for me to sleep with one of our coworkers that you barely knew?” You immediately fired back. “You’re lucky we did this instead of reporting you to HR.”
Jeno quickly threw on a wide smile, clapping Jisung on the shoulder. “You fit in great here, Jisung.”
“Glad to have you on the team.” Hyuck went to hug Jisung, making him stiffen up at the unexpected affection. Your coworker then gestured to both of you, putting a hand over his chest. “You two are so adorable together. What a great couple. I’ve said that from the beginning, right, Jeno?”
“You thought they would’ve had awful chemistry.”
“Would it kill you to back me up for once?” Hyuck turned his ire on your other coworker.
Mr. Suh walked up to the bar then, putting his order in with the bartender before greeting you all. “Ah, hello, everyone. Merry Christmas.”
A chorus of hellos and Merry Christmases rang out in response.
“Was Mr. Suh in on it?” Jeno asked you.
“Whatever ‘it’ was, no, but now I wish I was,” Mr. Suh answered, clearly intrigued by this conversation.
“Y/N and Jisung are dating!” Hyuck immediately tattled, and you rolled your eyes at his childish tone.
“There’s nothing against the rules,” your boss said calmly. Then, he added with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, “Especially if the relationship predates one of you working here.”
You and Jisung exchanged a surprised look, making Mr. Suh laugh.
“Okay, I had a hunch, but that was the confirmation I needed,” he chuckled. “When I’d see Jisung at Y/N’s desk alone, I don’t know—you two seemed way more comfortable around each other than two people who had only talked for the first time a week ago. No matter how much you liked each other.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Hyuck gawped.
“It didn’t seem like any of my business.”
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⇢ 2024 hallmark movie marathon
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TAGLIST
@annenakamura @bee-the-loser @lotties-readings @ppddpjdr @reiofsuns2001
@giirlfriendd @shaqs-oatmeal @sofipolii01
@tearinka @yoursyuno @yutasputa69
@winkeuu
241 notes · View notes
sakumz · 2 days ago
Text
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[ a. harumasa x fem reader ]
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" come on the situation isn't that bad, " harumasa says as yanagi shakes her head.
" you're right, it isn't that bad. " you mocked, " it's terrible! " you slam open the door of section six office, as all heads turn to you. what was the section one slave doing here? sure you were in charge of checking their files here and there, same with them to yours. harumasa drop the file yanagi handed him earlier upon your arrival. sweat dripping down his forehead. was it really that terrible?
" ms l/n, you reek of alcohol. " miyabi starts as she gets down from her stool, hand on the hilt of her sword as you shake your head.
" wasn't section one having a party to celebrate your newly promoted chief? " soukaku questions.
" I only drank one can, I'm not drunk! " you scold.
" anyways you're all allowed to go home, except you, mr asaba harumasa! " they didn't press further but obliged, yanagi can only pray you go easy on him.
" come on was it that terrible? " you can't help but glare dangers. his work these days are incomprehensible. he was supposed to write a report about the recent hollow case. was it that hard to recall everything from start to finish without missing any details? he didn't even describe what ethereals was in it.
" yes it was, " you jab a finger to his chest, making him fall back on his chair. he swiddle around before pushing himself to his table.
" please rewrite the report or I'll make you write more. " he sighs, playfully putting his head down. you lean down to meet his face as he close his eyes. was he going to sleep?
" hey, don't sleep, " you poke his forehead as he shot up straight.
" if you're gonna stay with me, why don't you write it? I'll tell you the details, " you can't help but let out a frustrated sigh. was he really not going to do his work? it's just one report!
" you'll be free to go if you complete this earlier, you know. "
" I don't feel like doing it... " he sighs as he place his head down again.
few minutes past as awkward silence engulfs the room, you pull the chair next to his. he's eating up your time. how can he fall asleep after a scolding? or a bickering... either way how can he sleep during a situation like this!
" hey, if you do this report I'll do whatever you want. " you ruffle his hair, as he sat straight, stretching as he look at you, eyes beaming at your words.
" anything you say? " he teased as you regret your words.
" yes anything, but you better write the report correctly and properly within one hour! " you watch as he quickly turns on the computer smashing keys after keys as he ponders in between. it's pretty comical how he suddenly wants to vanquish his report.
you glance at the clock from time to time, he's focused on the task at hand. with one final key smash, his paper was printed as he went to grab it for you. handing it over as he stood in front of you. you flip and skim through the pages, pleased that whatever he wrote at least made sense and is connected.
" well, goodjob and thanks for the report. I'll submit it for you, " you stood up as his hands quickly fly over to your shoulder, pressing you back down on the chair. he's got you trap between him.
" are you forgetting something, miss? " he leans forwards, staring into your soul as a blush finds its way over to your face. this is the first he's ever been close to you. you push the paper over to your face, trying to cover your face and calm your raging heart.
" what did I-I forget? " how you wish you didn't tell him, you'll do whatever he wants, so he'll finish his report and let you go home at least before midnight.
he pulls the paper down, smirking at your shyness or fake ignorance. you didn't forget the promise.
" I was gonna ask for a date for my hardwork but maybe a date isn't enough. " you stare at him as your blush just keeps growing. your hands starts to feel sweaty, is this guy serious?
" be my girlfriend. " he smiles as you push him off but he doesn't budge.
" I say I'll do whatever you want- "
" do be my girlfriend, " he beams even brighter if that was even possible.
" and as my girlfriend, you should give your very hardworking boyfriend a kiss for doing a goodjob on his report, " he purse his lips, making a ' muah ' sound.
maybe it's time to face the music, you do like him and you hope this isn't a prank or anything. you did say you'll do whatever and if what he says it's true he did save a lot of time from beating around the bush and confessing.
" are you being serious right now? " he stop as he looks at you offended.
" I'm always serious when it's you, girlfriend. " he winks as you cringe.
" come on, give me that kiss and we can go home! "
you close your eyes and lean in, aiming to give a kiss to his cheek but he was quick to lean in and steal your lips with his. your eyes shot open, he place a hand behind your head. when he pulls away to catch his breath, you were starstruck. he leans again as you slap your hands over his lips.
" you said a kiss. " you can't help the silly smile threatening to crawl when he pouts, shoulder dropping at the rejection. he pulls away as he stood up, taking your hand in his.
" fine fine, more kisses will come anyways. let's take you home, " he drags you away and walks you to your apartment.
when he bids you farewell at your doorstep, he did kiss you once again. wishing you a very goodnight as you said the same.
to say the least this bro won't do shit when he's feeling extra tired or lazy so you'll have to step in and reward him with kisses or hugs and mostly both. it has been an occurrence in section six almost everyday, that yanagi has to physically pry you away when harumasa can't let go of you when he hugs you. you pat his head as you say goodbye as he weeps on his desk jokingly...
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jxwl4k · 2 days ago
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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Christmas Eve .𖥔 ݁ ˖
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☘︎ . . . genre. fluff
☘︎ . . . pairings. bakugou x reader
⤿ a snowy cityscape on christmas eve.
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Snowflakes swirled in the chilly night air, the city glowing with festive lights and bustling with holiday cheer. It was Christmas Eve, and while most people were home celebrating with their loved ones, Pro Hero Dynamight was finishing up his patrol. Katsuki Bakugou trudged through the snow-covered streets, his sharp crimson eyes scanning for any signs of trouble.
It wasn’t like he hated Christmas; he just didn’t see the point in making a big deal about it. Work always came first.
As he rounded a corner, his comm crackled with a familiar voice.
“All clear in my sector,” you reported. Your voice had a calm warmth to it, one that Bakugou had grown to appreciate more than he cared to admit.
“Same here,” he grunted.
You had been paired with him for tonight’s patrol, which wasn’t unusual since you often worked together. As a pro hero, you were one of the few people who could match his intensity in the field, though your personalities were polar opposites. While Bakugou was fiery and brash, you were calm and steady—a balance he never knew he needed until he met you.
As your shift came to an end, you and Bakugou met up at a small park in the heart of the city. The place was almost magical, with twinkling fairy lights wrapped around the trees and a large Christmas tree standing in the center, its ornaments shimmering in the soft glow of the streetlamps.
“You don’t look very festive,” you teased as you approached him, pulling your scarf tighter around your neck.
“Tch. Like I’ve got time for all that crap,” Bakugou muttered, though his gaze softened slightly as he looked at you.
You chuckled, reaching into your bag and pulling out a thermos. “Hot chocolate?”
He raised an eyebrow but accepted the cup you poured for him. After taking a sip, his lips curved into a small, satisfied smirk. “Not bad.”
“You’re welcome,” you said playfully, sitting down on a nearby bench.
For a while, the two of you sat in companionable silence, watching the snow fall and the occasional group of carolers pass by. It was rare for either of you to get moments like this, away from the chaos of hero work.
“So,” you began, breaking the silence, “any plans for the rest of the night?”
“Just headin’ home,” he said with a shrug, though there was a hint of something else in his voice—maybe hesitation.
You tilted your head, studying him. “No family dinner? No holiday party?”
He scoffed. “You know I’m not into that crap.”
You smiled softly. “Yeah, I know.”
There was a pause, and then, to your surprise, Bakugou spoke again.
“What about you?”
“Me?” you echoed, a bit taken aback. “Probably just going home too. Maybe watch a movie, eat some leftovers. Nothing exciting.”
He frowned, his gaze flicking to you. “That’s dumb.”
“Gee, thanks,” you said, rolling your eyes.
“I mean—” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s Christmas Eve. You shouldn’t spend it alone.”
You blinked at him, caught off guard by his sudden concern. “Are you saying I should find a party or something?”
“No, idiot,” he muttered, looking away, his cheeks faintly pink. “I’m saying… maybe you should spend it with me.”
Your heart skipped a beat at his words. “Are you asking me to hang out?”
“Call it whatever you want,” he grumbled, avoiding your gaze. “Just don’t make it weird.”
A grin spread across your face as you stood up, brushing the snow off your coat. “Alright, Dynamight. Where to?”
“Back to my place,” he said, finally looking at you. “I’ve got food, movies… and more of that hot chocolate crap if you want it.”
You couldn’t help but laugh. “Sounds like a plan.”
As the two of you walked side by side through the snowy streets, the city lights reflecting in your eyes, you realized this was probably the best Christmas Eve you’d had in years. And judging by the small, almost shy smile on Bakugou’s face, he felt the same way.
Maybe Christmas wasn’t so bad after all.
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hijinxinprogress · 2 days ago
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Does the JL know that YJ has just casually been beefing with darkseid??
imagine there’s a all hands on deck battle against darkseid and everyone is there but darkseid points out the nearest yj member (it’s probably Bart) like ‘you!!! You managed to escape with your lives last time but this meeting will be our last’ and for a split second Clark’s so fucking confused bc we haven’t fought in years wtf are you talking about then he hears ‘oh shit, look it’s Doug’ and everyone turns to see Bart nudging Kon going ‘he’s talking to you…damn he must still be mad about the coal’ and kons shoving him back bc ‘you were the one fucking around with his coal, you fucking walnut’ while Cassie’s being scruffed by wonder woman bc they’re trying to avoid being around when the jl finds out and tims having a very intense silent conversation lecture about why tf there’s at least half a dozen yj mission reports that mention an assailant named ‘Doug’ 
then Constantine shows up with Greta and everyone (including darkseid) starts yelling and if you don’t know her Greta seems like the one with the ownership of the braincell in yj (she is not but I guess she looks like it from a distance if you squint) which goes one of two ways:
retired-civilian!greta is giggling and waving excitedly to each member of yj along with hal before she practically tackles each of them in a tight hug while the titans, jl, & jl: dark lose their collective shit bc Constantine brought a tiny civilian dressed in pastel floral prints from head to toe into an active battle with fucking darkseid, a civilian who doesn’t register as a threat in any capacity until she makes eye contact with darkseid and gives him the most disgusted look imaginable “Doug… you look…well.” and then like three jl members have to stop her from leaping at darkseid while Hal’s like ‘no! No no, bad Greta! We don’t fight supervillains with…what is that?? I really fucking hope that’s not a gun…Is-is that fucking silly string?! Greta no we don’t silly string supervillains! We’ve talked about this!’
or
never-retired!/recently-out-of-retirement!greta who does the same thing but when she notices darkseid she rocks his shit in eight seconds flat and starts muttering about ‘that fucking Doug, always ruining my goddamn day’ and Hal is the first one to recover from the shock/confusion but only to tell Greta she’s grounded which gets another irritated ‘fucking doug!’ while Wally and Barry are losing it at Mach 6 while Bart tries to explain himself also at Mach 6, Cassie manages to catch Wally’s exasperated ‘where the fuck did you get Doug from?!’ And responds with ‘Apokolips’ in a tone that means they’re questioning his intelligence which leads to more screaming bc ‘so you knew who he was?? Why didn’t you come to us??’ and they all back up Kon when he claims they told Lex bc that means they have at least 3 hours of freedom while Lex is getting yelled at by the jl (and honestly every cape over 24)
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deliciousangelfestival · 2 days ago
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Holly Jolly Charade | Bucky
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Character: Bucky Barnes x Female! Reader
Summary: Turns out, bringing a fake boyfriend to a family dinner worked out just fine.
Prompt: fake dating becomes too real
Part 2 : The Christmas Shift
Written for @the-slumberparty's December Daze Challenge.
Main Masterlist || If you enjoy my work, please consider buying me a coffee on Ko-fi 🙏🏻
By the way, I publish my book Arrogant Ex-Husband on Kindle. 👉 Now available on e-Kindle Amazon! << here's the link.
Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Leave a comment and Reblog, please. I'd love to hear your thoughts. ❤️
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Have you ever had one of those mornings that just feel perfect? The kind where everything aligns so effortlessly it feels like the universe is on your side?
No traffic, no line at the coffee shop, and all your usual rush-hour chaos smoothed out like butter on warm toast. Especially now, with Christmas looming, when there’s so much to get done, a morning like that feels like a miracle.
But just when you think the day’s off to a perfect start, something always has to disrupt the flow. This time, it’s your phone buzzing with a text message.
Mom:
"I’ve sent our ride to pick you up. No more excuses!"
You groaned audibly and rolled your eyes so hard they almost hurt. The text left an invisible weight pressing on your chest. It wasn’t like you hated your family, but the thought of attending their Christmas dinner was… exhausting. Ever since you moved out, you’d been dodging these gatherings like a pro.
In the first couple of years, they were understanding. Your excuse? A new job, fresh out of college, with long hours and no time for travel. They’d bought it. Then, a few years later, you said you were busy building your business, and that worked too.
But now? Now your business was thriving, and worse, everyone knew it. Thanks to that damn magazine article, your entire extended family knew about your company’s success. Including how much profit it was making. You should’ve refused the interview. You should’ve told your friends to leave you out of it.
Now there were no excuses left. Your family saw right through them.
You tossed your phone onto your desk with a huff and ran your fingers through your hair, trying to come up with a last-minute plan. The thought of sitting at that table, sharing space with your aunt of all people, made your stomach twist.
She was the epitome of judgmental nosiness, prying into every corner of your private life, not because she cared but because she wanted to compare. She loved knowing someone was doing worse than she was—it was like her secret Christmas joy.
You groaned again, typing furiously on your phone. “How to get away from Christmas family dinner” was the search query, but every suggestion seemed ridiculous or impractical. You sighed, slumping back in your chair.
A sudden knock at the door startled you.
“Come in,” you said, not bothering to glance up from your phone.
The door creaked open, and your vice president, Bucky Barnes, stepped in. He held a stack of papers in one hand, his other shoved casually into his pocket. His loose, long hair, still a work in progress, framed his annoyingly handsome face. He was wearing a crisp blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up, black pants, and the faintest smirk on his lips.
“Here’s the report,” he said, stepping closer and placing it on your desk. “Just need your signature, and the team can have an early paycheck.”
You glanced up briefly, pen already in hand. "Why didn't the finance guy give this to me?"
"Because they're afraid of you." He leaned against the desk, folding his arms, his smirk growing into something more mischievous.
“You look like someone Googling excuses to avoid their ex,” he teased, tilting his head toward your phone. “Or did your mom finally pin you down for the family Christmas dinner?”
You shot him a withering glare, tapping the pen against the report in irritation. “Mind your business, Barnes.”
“Hard not to,” he said with a shrug. “You’ve been muttering under your breath about aunts for the past five minutes. Also, your face? It’s doing that scrunchy thing again. Looks like someone ate a lemon.”
You leaned back in your chair and crossed your arms, staring daggers at him. “You’re awfully chatty for someone who’s been begging me for months to let him quit.”
“Begging?” He scoffed, a mock look of offense crossing his face. “I just said I wanted to try something new. But nooo, you’re like, ‘Stay here, Bucky. You’re the best VP ever.’” He fluttered his eyelashes dramatically, earning an eye roll from you.
“Don’t flatter yourself,” you said, snatching the pen and signing the document with more force than necessary.
“Aw, is that your way of saying you’d miss me?” He grinned, grabbing the papers and straightening them with a satisfied nod.
“No. It’s my way of saying you’d never survive on your own.”
He laughed, heading for the door. “Well, good luck with Christmas dinner. Don’t forget—misery loves company. Or in your case, a nosy aunt and smug cousins.”
You rolled your eyes, ignoring him as you continued scrolling through your phone. Your search results were less than helpful, but then one suggestion caught your eye: “Tell them you’re traveling with your boyfriend.”
The idea wasn’t entirely ridiculous. Your mom had been nagging you about finding someone and settling down for ages. Without thinking it through, you began typing a message.
“I can’t. I already have a trip planned with my boyfriend. Didn’t you want me to get married?”
Satisfied with the excuse, you hit send and placed your phone on the desk.
Not even two seconds later, the screen lit up with an incoming video call. It was your mom.
“Crap!” you yelped, fumbling for the phone. In your panic, you almost dropped it, but Bucky, quick as ever, snatched it mid-air. Unfortunately, his finger brushed the screen, accidentally accepting the call.
Your mother’s delighted face filled the screen. “Oh my goodness, you didn’t lie! You have a boyfriend. And a handsome one at that!”
Bucky froze, his eyes widening in shock. “Uh… I… wait—”
Your mom wasn’t listening. She leaned closer to her phone camera, grinning ear to ear. “It’s so nice to meet you! Both of you are still at the office, I see. Perfect. Cancel your plans and bring him to the family dinner!” With that, she hung up before you could say a word.
You stared at the blank screen, your hand still frozen mid-air. “What the heck just happened?”
Bucky turned to you, raising an eyebrow. “I think I just got adopted as your boyfriend.”
You groaned, rubbing your forehead. “This is a disaster. I texted her saying I had plans with my boyfriend so I wouldn’t have to go to dinner.”
“Do you even have a boyfriend?”
“No!” You threw your hands up in exasperation. “And now my mom thinks we’re together!”
Before Bucky could respond, your assistant knocked on the door. “Ma’am, the driver is waiting downstairs for you.”
“Shit,” you muttered under your breath, scrambling to grab your coat.
Bucky leaned casually against the doorframe, watching you with an amused expression. “I could play along, you know.”
“You? Helping me?” You scoffed, slipping your arms into the coat.
He shrugged, grabbing his own jacket. “I didn’t say I’d do it for free.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “What’s the catch?”
“I want to resign. And a generous bonus while we’re at it.”
You gaped at him, incredulous. “Seriously? Why do you want to quit so badly? You’ve got great benefits here.”
He followed you out of the office, adjusting his jacket as he walked. “I want to explore more. I’ve learned a lot here, but it’s time for something new.”
You glanced at him, half-annoyed, half-impressed by his confidence. “Unbelievable.”
“Come on,” he said with a mischievous grin. “How hard can pretending to be your boyfriend really be? I’ll even charm your aunt.”
“Oh, this is going to be a nightmare,” you muttered as the two of you stepped into the elevator.
“Maybe,” Bucky said with a smirk, “but at least it won’t be boring.”
As you stepped into the lobby, your eyes immediately landed on the sleek black Maybach parked by the curb. The driver stood beside it, wearing a formal suit and gloves, ready to escort you to the inevitable Christmas dinner. Of course, it was your mom’s car—a glaring reminder that she always got her way.
You stood frozen for a moment, torn between irritation and resignation. The reality of the situation hit you like a weight: there was no escape this time. You chewed the inside of your cheek, contemplating running back upstairs and locking yourself in your office.
Before you could make a move, you felt a presence behind you. Turning around, you found Bucky standing there, casually slipping on his coat.
“Fine,” you sighed. “I’ll fire you.”
His lips quirked into a triumphant grin. “Finally.”
“But,” you added sharply, pointing a finger at him, “if you want to leave on good terms, you’d better play your part well. Convince my family—especially my aunt—that we’re a couple.”
Bucky gave you a mock salute, his grin widening. “Got it. I’ll play my part like I’m gunning for an Oscar.”
You nearly laughed at his response, a small chuckle escaping despite yourself. “Let’s go.”
Once inside the car, you pulled out your phone and scrolled through pictures of your family. Handing it to Bucky, you said, “Don’t worry about my cousins—they’re pretty cool and don’t ask too many questions. The real trouble is my aunt.” You pointed at a specific photo.
“That one,” you said, gesturing to a woman in her sixties, decked out in pearls, bright red lipstick, and chunky jade bracelets on both wrists. “She’s the one you need to watch out for.”
Bucky studied the picture, raising an eyebrow. “She looks… interesting. Definitely has a lot of character.”
You snorted. “That’s one way to put it. She’s the type who compares everything—lives, careers, relationships. If she starts asking questions, keep your answers vague. She’ll latch onto anything you say.”
Bucky nodded thoughtfully, his expression serious. “Got it. What about your parents?”
“They’ll be relieved the moment they see me walking in with a boyfriend,” you said dryly.
He nodded again, absorbing the information like he was preparing for a mission. “Then I’ll make sure to play my part well.”
🎄🎄🎄🎄
Inside, the house was bursting with holiday cheer. Laughter echoed through the halls, mingling with the warm hum of Christmas music. The living room was a festive wonderland, filled with garlands, twinkling lights, and an enormous tree decorated to perfection.
The moment you stepped through the door, a woman in an elegant dress swept toward you, her arms outstretched.
“Finally!” your mom, Robin, exclaimed, pulling you into a side hug. Her perfume was a comforting mix of cinnamon and vanilla, and her excitement was almost infectious.
Then her eyes landed on Bucky, and her expression shifted into one of pure delight. “My prayers have been answered,” she said, clasping her hands together. “Come here!”
Before Bucky could react, she pulled him into a warm hug. He blinked, caught off guard but recovering quickly, wrapping an arm around her lightly.
“I’m sorry for the late introduction, ma’am,” Bucky said smoothly, stepping back with a polite smile. “I’m Bucky.”
You stepped in before your mom could ask questions. “We just became official recently.”
Robin’s face lit up even more, her eyes darting between the two of you. “Good! Welcome, Bucky.”
“Thank you,” he said with a slight bow, his tone respectful but calm.
As you stood with your mom and Bucky in the foyer, a woman approached, her presence unmistakable. She wore pearls as if they were a permanent part of her body, bright red lipstick that seemed freshly applied, and her signature jade bracelets jangled with every step. Her hair was big—almost comically so—and styled to perfection. It was your aunt Teresa, the one you had warned Bucky about.
“Well, well, well,” Teresa said, her eyes scanning Bucky like he was a prize. “Is this the boyfriend I’ve heard so much about?”
You stiffened, forcing a tight smile. “Yes.”
Bucky, ever the diplomat, stepped forward with a friendly grin. “Bucky Barnes. Nice to meet you, ma’am.”
“Oh, call me Teresa,” she purred, giving him an appraising look. “You’re quite the charmer. And so handsome! No wonder she finally brought someone home.”
You bit the inside of your cheek, struggling to maintain your composure.
“So,” Teresa continued, her tone dripping with faux curiosity, “how long have you two been together?”
“Not too long,” you said curtly, trying to end the conversation.
“A little over three months,” Bucky added smoothly, his tone warm and engaging.
“Three months?” Teresa said, arching a perfectly shaped brow. “Well, you’d better lock him up, dear,” she said, turning to you. “We’ll be planning another wedding soon!”
“Teresa,” Robin interjected gently, noticing your discomfort. “Why don’t we give them a moment to settle in?”
You took the opportunity to grab Bucky’s arm and drag him away, your jaw clenched.
As soon as you were out of earshot, you muttered, “That’s just the beginning. Wait until she finishes her fifth glass of wine.”
Bucky chuckled, shoving his hands into his pockets. “She’s... entertaining.”
You rolled your eyes. “That’s one way to put it.”
Later, Bucky met your cousins in the den, and as you predicted, they were laid-back and easy to talk to. They exchanged jokes and stories, asking Bucky only a few lighthearted questions about his work. You watched from the sidelines, thankful that at least some of your family wasn’t exhausting.
At dinner, everyone gathered around the massive dining table, the centerpiece adorned with candles and holiday-themed decorations. The atmosphere was warm and festive, but the moment Teresa began talking, you felt the familiar weight of dread settle in.
“So,” Teresa began, her voice carrying over the clinking of cutlery, “my son just secured a new oil permit. Big deal, you know. And my daughter-in-law? She got promoted to partner at her firm. Isn’t that wonderful?”
You nodded politely, forcing a neutral expression. “That’s great, Aunt Teresa.”
“And what about you?” Teresa asked, her tone dripping with condescension. “I hear your little business is doing well. But it must be so stressful, hmm? All that work with no one to share it with.”
You bit back a retort, focusing on your plate instead.
Bucky leaned toward you and whispered, “This is boring.”
“Yup,” you murmured in agreement, spearing a piece of food with your fork. “She always does this. She’s the one who insists on family dinners.”
The two of you exchanged quiet remarks, completely ignoring Teresa’s continued self-praise. Finally, she noticed and turned her attention to both of you.
“Are you two even listening?” Teresa snapped, her bracelets clinking as she gestured dramatically. “And tell me, when are you two getting married?”
Bucky didn’t miss a beat. He leaned back in his chair, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. “Well, Teresa, we want to make sure we don’t rush it. After all, we wouldn’t want to overshadow the amazing achievements of your son and daughter-in-law.”
The room went silent for a moment before your cousins stifled laughter, and Teresa pursed her lips, clearly caught off guard.
After dinner, you helped your mom arrange desserts on the table in the kitchen. The aroma of freshly baked pies and cinnamon filled the air. Robin looked pleased, humming softly as she arranged plates.
From the dining room, Teresa’s voice drifted in as she tried to corner Bucky for more questions.
“So, Bucky,” Teresa began, her tone overly sweet. “Tell me, what’s it like working with her? She must be such a perfectionist.”
Bucky didn’t falter. “Actually, she’s brilliant. One of the smartest and most hardworking people I’ve ever met.”
Teresa narrowed her eyes slightly, clearly fishing for more. “But she must be difficult sometimes. Don’t you think?”
Bucky smiled, his tone calm but firm. “No more difficult than anyone else who’s successful. If anything, she makes work more enjoyable.”
You overheard the exchange and couldn’t help but feel a flicker of gratitude. For all his teasing, Bucky had your back.
Later, when the two of you were finally alone in the den, you let out a long breath and slumped onto the couch. Bucky poured himself a glass of whiskey from the bar cart and sank into the armchair across from you.
“You’re fired, Bucky,” you said, though there was no heat in your voice.
He chuckled, raising his glass in a mock toast. “Thanks, boss.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide the small smile tugging at your lips. “Seriously, thanks. I’m glad you came.”
“Anytime,” he replied, sipping his whiskey. “Just don’t make me sit next to Teresa again.”
You both laughed, the tension of the evening finally starting to fade.
You leaned back on the couch, your fingers tapping the glass of wine in your hand. The room had gone quiet after the bustling chaos of the family dinner, and Bucky was nursing his whiskey with a far-off look in his eyes.
“I still don’t get it,” you said, breaking the silence. “Why do you keep wanting to quit?”
Bucky’s gaze shifted to you, his expression unreadable at first. Then, he set his glass down and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
“Because I want to be on the same level as you,” he said, his voice steady but carrying a weight that made you pause.
You blinked, confused. “Huh?”
“I want to start my own business,” he explained, his eyes meeting yours. “Be my own boss. I’ve learned so much working with you, but I need to prove to myself that I can do it too.”
You studied him, trying to piece together the sudden intensity in his words. “That’s it? You’ve got some big plans, huh?”
Bucky exhaled a soft chuckle, but there was something else in his eyes—something unspoken. “Yeah, big plans,” he said, swirling the amber liquid in his glass. “I’ve always admired you, you know. Not just for what you’ve built, but for who you are.”
You tilted your head, still not fully grasping the weight of his words. “You admire me?”
He looked at you, his blue eyes holding yours longer than usual. “Yeah. For a long time now.”
The air between you shifted, and for a moment, you couldn’t find the right words. You thought back to all the years you’d worked together, the arguments, the jokes, and the moments where he always seemed to have your back.
But you dismissed the thought, brushing off the flicker of something deeper. “Well,” you said, forcing a grin, “I’m glad you’re ambitious. Just don’t expect me to give you glowing references when you leave.”
Bucky laughed, leaning back into the armchair. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
That year marked the first time you’d asked Bucky to pretend to be your boyfriend, a favor born out of desperation. He played the part so convincingly that even your family believed it.
The second year came, and to your surprise, you asked him again. By then, it had become a strange tradition—your fake boyfriend who seamlessly charmed your family while sparing you the agony of invasive questions.
By the third year, something had shifted. The lines between pretending and reality blurred, and you couldn’t shake the growing warmth you felt whenever he was near. It wasn’t just gratitude anymore—it was something deeper.
When the fourth year rolled around, you made a decision. No more pretending. You told him you wanted to stop the charade, but instead of ending things, you found yourselves starting something real.
And in the fifth year, you stood side by side at the altar, promising forever to the man who had been beside you all along.
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Taglist:
@thezombieprostitute
@mostlymarvelgirl
@scott-loki-barnes
@kjah97
@jeremyrennermakesmesmile
A/N : There will be part 2. I'll use the prompt from @the-slumberparty
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fandomsandfeminism · 23 hours ago
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Sure. Thank you. That does reframe it some.
I think a big part of the issue might be a vocabulary one, and I'll own that.
See, in my head, it feels very obvious that when people say they are worried about keeping people safe and not letting people hurt others again, that very clearly, to me, is an issue of recidivism. People who have been through the justice system reoffending is the danger we are discussing. So interventions and solutions and sentences which REDUCE recidivism *is what makes people more safe.* (even if it doesn't LOOK safer for people who have been raised with the idea that prisons = safety.)
But that connection may not be so self evident to others.
It's also why I keep trying to get people to inspect how prisons compare in terms of recidivism. Because the evidence suggests that prisons *dont* make people safe. They don't reduce recidivism, which is the danger we are trying to mitigate, and there's a good bit of evidence that they actually make us LESS safe because someone who has been in prison could come out MORE likely to reoffend violently because of how the system can ingrain maladaptive violent behaviors.
Like. Maybe it's a numbers game. If the prison system locks up 1 serial killer forever, but also releases 100 guys who each go on go kill 1 more person VS a prisonless system where that 1 serial killer goes on to kill 5 more people but those 100 other guys DONT EVER REOFFEND then...fewer people have been harmed. (95 fewer people, actually.) Reducing recidivism is what actually, at scale, creates safety (along with efforts to PREVENT violence in the first place, of course, but that hasn't been the sticking point.)
It does sound scary to imagine Jeffrey Dahmer or the Devil murdering someone and then just going to a rehab center for a while and then getting to leave. But I'll emphasize again that the judge isn't Minority Report Psychic who can reliably just *know* whether someone is ~evil~. (I'd also push back against this idea that some people are irredeemably evil because it robs us of the ability to examine why people do these violent things, how to prevent it, and how to prevent it from happening again.)
Thank you for your patience, even when I was very frustrated in my replies.
Pretty sure @needabetternamelater has reblogged like 5 of my posts and then blocked me. So that's funny. But, just in case it's just a glitch that won't let me reblog those replies.
What do we do with rapists in a prisonless society? Well, 1. Fewer than 1% of rapists go to prison, so holding up prison as the standard that any other solution has to beat isn't hard. What do with do with rapists in a society with prisons? For 99+%? Not prison.
2. Prisons do not reduce the amount of rapes that happen. So again, prison fails pretty handedly at being both a prevention and a punishment. (It's a bit like arguing 'without the death penalty, what will we do with shop lifters?")
3. I've explain many times, on posts you've responded to, the variety of responses a justice system can have to any crime, including sexual assault. Mandatory counseling, restraining orders, restorative/reparation hearings, housing and employment restrictions, fines, caseworker check ins, mental health consults, and vocational training are all possible responses, and which would would have the best chance of preventing recidivism would depend on the specifics of that person and the risk factors in them reoffending.
In the past, we locked people in pillories and cut off their hands for crimes. Phasing out a cruel and ineffective punishment doesn't mean there's free reign for crime.
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jiraisupportgroup · 2 days ago
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Important Update:
It has been brought to my attention by several people that there was / is a blog that is impersonating me and posting very hateful & harmful things aimed at the jiraiblr community. This blog had a username very similar to this one (jiraiisupportgroup and then jiiraisupportgroup both with double “i”s at different points in the username) they copied my profile picture, header image, blog description, pinned post(?), and even went as far as to copy anonymous asks I have been sent and send them to themselves to reply to to create confusion and trick people into thinking that blog was me.
In light of this I want to make a few things clear:
- This blog is a side blog. It cannot follow you, it cannot like posts, and it cannot send asks. All of those things would instead link to my main blog. If any blog that looks like this one ever follows you, likes one of your posts, or sends you an ask please block them immediately.
- If this blog does get terminated for whatever reason, any back-up blogs to replace this one will be made as another side blog. So please know this warning to block any blog that looks like this one if they follow you, like one of your posts, or send you an ask will never change.
- In the event that this blog is ever terminated, the first few posts of any replacement blog will be proof that it is actually me. What this details I am not entire sure of at this exact moment, and likely will not share to avoid the case of another disgusting copy-cat.
I want to give so much thanks to @bpdgrrrl1312 @bl0odied-kittypaw @criminaldoenjangjjigae @twistedsweetheart @sakiyaki-sashimi @oneeyawn @jiraikasa-kun as well as any others I may have missed (and all the anons who contacted me) for bringing this first of all to my attention, but more importantly to everyone’s attention. Thank you all so much for spreading awareness about this impersonator, and for helping distance myself from the horrible horrible things this person was saying.
As far as I can tell at the moment it appears that the blog is deleted? (Can anyone help me confirm?) But I will keep an eye and ear out to make sure, and update everyone if they pop up again. Thank you all so much for reporting this blog while I was not online for the night T-T not only for myself but also for the jiraiblr community as a whole.
It really hurts my heart and sickens me to know that someone impersonated my blog to spew hatred and vitriol. I did not get to see a majority of the things the blog did post (I saw screenshots of maybe 2 or 3 of the posts), so I can’t even imagine what else they were saying (especially to get banned so quickly because tumblr typically does not ban accounts very fast).
If this blog targeted you or even if you had the misfortune of seeing this blog, I am so deeply sorry. Please know that no matter what this person may have said you are loved, you are important, you are valid, and you deserve to be safe and feel welcome. I truly believe that, and I am so sorry that anyone tried to make you feel otherwise.
I am sending all of you so much love and as much support as I can ♡ I know many of us are stressed going into holiday season and this whole situation did not help with that. From what I can gather you all handled it quite well and for that I am so so appreciative. ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊ love all of you so much and I am sending everyone the warmest wishes and happiest days I possibly can ♡ ♡ ♡
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Be My Wife: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
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Summary: A “friend” freaks out when you split a Coke with Eddie the Freak.
Warnings: references to A Clockwork Orange, bullying, STI/STD mention, backwash drinking
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A/N: So… I know this isn’t a Christmas fic. But I wrote this because I had those times in my youth where someone spread horrid rumors about either me or my friends, and I had to make those split second decisions to determine my loyalty. I always try to be loyal as best I can.
Thank you to @writhingg for giving the green light on this fic. And big thanks to @rxqueenotd and @melodymunson as well. And big thanks to viewers like you. Thank you. ❤️
Resources: @strangergraphics-archive for the dividers.
Taglist: @ali-r3n @melodymunson @twihard28
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“Hey droogie, can I have a sip of your Coke?”
You looked up from where you were perched on the pony wall by the Seven Eleven bike rack. You had been chatting with a classmate, Chessie Hagar, about purchasing a purse from her mother’s Avon Colorworks catalog. It was a new collection for the year 1977. Said eye catching magazine with its spread of rainbow themed products was currently held between the two of you, and the pages began to rattle as Chessie shook in fear upon hearing the deep voice.
A flutter-smack sounded from the girl dropping the catalog when Eddie The Freak approached. His stride was casual as one could be, whilst battling both midwestern humidity and pit sweat in a white hand-me-down Jimi Hendrix shirt and sleeveless denim vest. As one of the middle schoolers who had been blessed with a growth spurt, his lanky height, shredded second hand clothes, and shaved head often made those in your grade— and some of those above— piss their pants.
You alone did not fear him.
The Fates had elected to weave you both in a tangled web of coincidences: you had been his project partner in every shared class since you started at Hawkins Middle School together, and you just so happened to live in the same neighborhood on occasion. The distance from Al Munson’s janky two bedroom home to yours was but a hop skip and a jump. Eddie used to ding dong ditch your house when he was six, until one day your mother caught him by the ear and brought him in to mend his tattered jeans and offer up a hot meal.
To any other rando, he was an unstable pariah. But to you, he was just Eddie Munson— the cute boy next door who sometimes ate at your place. And you had become his droog after spending winter 1972 sneaking into the Hawk Theater, and making Stanley Kubrick films your new big boy personalities.
Without thinking, you handed the soft drink over. His fingers brushed against yours as he took the Coke out of your grip and went for a swig, with plush pink lips wrapping around the transparent jade glass of the lip and neck. His protruding Adam’s apple was bobbing with the rhythmic gulping, and you couldn’t stop staring.
“Thanks.” He belched out.
“You said a sip, not half the goddamn bottle!” You whined.
Eddie grinned sheepishly and backwashed a good mouthful. Giving a half assed apology and a promise to pay you back mumbled under his breath, he handed the bottle back.
“Still up for doing last minute project prep?” You asked, swirling the leftovers he’d saved for you.
“Nah, let’s take a break from the train wreck brothers. Catch you tomorrow, though?” He said, scratching a blackhead off his nose and snorting a bit, “I had an idea for the oral report that might earn us a little extra credit. Think you can mimic a British accent?”
“Eh. Can’t do an accent without sounding like fucking Alex DeLarge.” You groused.
“We can work on that. Leave your milk-plus at home, though. Don’t want me own droog reenacting some Roman ultra violence on me.”
“Just don’t go popping out from behind your curtains at me again, that’s a good way to get stabbed in the neck with my mom’s kitchen scissors.” You snorted.
“Ahhh, the droog’s no fun. I guess I can tone down the surprise pop ups, though. If you insist. Catch you later?” Eddie said, waving.
“Later. Peace out, man.”
Chessie let out a shaky, sobbing exhale when you made to drink the dregs of your soda, and you turned and raised an eyebrow.
“Whassamatter?” You asked.
“Are you nuts?! You just shared your drink with the freak!” She blurted out.
… since when the hell was sharing with Eddie a crime?
“Yeah, so? It’s hot out. He looked thirsty.” You said.
“Did you seriously forget everything we’ve heard about him?!” She whisper-screamed, “Don’t you care what everyone talks about?!”
You rolled your eyes. Everyone talked about Eddie. If you hadn’t heard at least one rumor from a faceless student whenever he walked by, you were either stupid or living under a rock. They said he was a bad boy— yes, even with a full vocabulary of slurs and insults available, they still called him a bad boy. Like if he was still in diapers drawing with crayon on the wall, and needed a spanking.
Depending on who you asked, Eddie either did or sold drugs, it was never clear which. Some of the other trailer park kids said he was a mean scrapper when he went to his uncle’s on alternate weeks. Women’s restroom lore stated that he carried a switchblade in the back pocket of his Wrangler jeans, and that he used it to torture animals for his Satanic rituals.
A million and one things were said about him on the daily, but you knew none of them were true in the slightest. None of the talk deterred you from spending time with him. Sometimes he came to your house, more often than not you went to his.
Every other day found the two of you parked in front of his mom’s turntable, jamming to Deep Purple and putting together an elaborate poster board with some spray painted fake leaves made into laurel crowns, along with a block of text about your chosen co-emperor of the early Roman Empire.
You had wanted to write about Caligula so you could use the word ‘orgy’ in the report without getting in trouble, but Eddie had insisted he had a better idea when he discovered a two years tumultuous ruling of brothers from 209 AD to 211 AD.
“As much as I love a good sex party on paper, you just know that’s what everyone else is gonna write about. Let’s write about this nut job Caracalla instead! Dude killed his brother in the arms of his mother, and struck his name from the record. That’s like, the most metal shit ever! Also, here’s a better word for you to learn: fratricide. Apparently there’s a whole list of technical terms for when you kill a family member.”
“… what’s the rumor mill gotta do with my Coke?” You deadpanned.
“If you drink after him, you’re gonna get mono like Cindy! You gotta throw it out!”
Cindy Bishop in your science class had told everyone that had functional ears— swearing up and down on her life— that Eddie Munson had kissed her and given her mononucleosis. A dreaded affliction whose nickname to you sounded like one of the variations of sound formats for any sort of audio.
“Mono…?”
“Yes! Or the syph!”
You knew Eddie had to have heard Chessie’s vitriol. Turning around, you could see him staring at the two of you from across the parking lot, one leg over his bike. There was a stinging look of betrayal on his face. Telltale signs of a wet cherry nose and shameful red cheeks gave away his mistrust; as if he was expecting you to do as your friend told, and throw the bottle he drank from in the trash.
His imaginary affliction was just that: imaginary. You knew that to be gospel.
The kiss with Cindy was real, unfortunately. It happened way before Cindy was kept home with mono, and you remembered the incident well. Eddie had come running to your house just to brag that he’d finally gotten his first kiss, and that pretty soon he’d be popping girl’s cherries left and right.
Just learning about the simple kiss had pissed you off, because the closest you’d ever gotten to kissing Eddie was sharing the same fork whenever you both roasted Vienna sausages on the gas burner in his kitchen. Eddie hadn’t been sick when Cindy stayed home, he came faithfully to school to trap you on the playground and speculate about the thousand and one hidden meanings behind the kiss.
With all the excitement, he never noticed the smallest details like you did. One of the guys in your PE class had been sent home with a rash and a high fever, and it was only a month after Cindy was rumored to have also kissed the collapsed boy that she got sick. You had always shared cups, utensils, and other things requiring mouth use with Eddie and had been fine. Yet Cindy and Tommy Hagan swapped spit once, and both were out of commission.
But no one would ever say anything about Tommy Hagan getting mono. They’d always redirect every disease outbreak to the poor loser who split time between Cherry Street and Forest Hills Trailer Park. The same poor loser who had the misfortune of wasting his first kiss with Cindy; a girl who frenched behind the portable classrooms with anything that had a pulse. People could be so blind and stupid, they failed to notice the sickness timelines were not matching up.
No one deserved their first anything to be with Cindy. Not with the way she stabbed people in the back.
You took a long, hard pause as you stared into Eddie’s wet brown eyes. He was asking you a silent question you already knew the answer to: were you a stinking traitorous droog, or a loyal one? Were you, his one friend in the entire world, going to stand against him?
Without saying a word, you looked at Chessie, then looked back again at Eddie.
In a world of traitors— where brothers stabbed brothers in the arms of their mothers, or where violent men disowned each other with drug laced milk bottles to the face, you would always pick instead to be Eddie Munson’s loyal droog.
You lathed at the lip of the bottle and stuck your tongue down the neck, and shotgunned all of Eddie’s backwash.
Chessie’s mouth dropped open as she began to gag, and Eddie opened his mouth in an obnoxious and breathless laugh as you chugged the entirety of his germs. The carbonation caught up to you, so you let a belch rip before turning back around to face him.
“I GOT YOUR MONO NOW, MUNSON!” You screamed out to him, “NOW YOU GOTTA MARRY ME!”
“IS THAT HOW IT WORKS, DROOGIE?” He shouted back, a shit eating grin stretched across his face, “YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME KNOW BEFORE I TOOK A SWIG, I WOULD HAVE MADE SURE I GOT YOU A RING POP FIRST!”
“IT'S GODDAMN ROMAN CONFARREATIO LAWS, EDDIE! YOU GAVE ME MONO INSTEAD OF SPELT BREAD, NOW YOU GOTTA MARRY ME!” You joked.
You noticed from the big, smart ass grin that he was about to do something outrageous, and your heart began to sing. He immediately got to his knee on the asphalt, everyone in the Seven Eleven parking lot watching as he began to scream like an orator in the colosseum. He used your full government name and everything when he called out to the small parking lot audience.
“HEAR ME, CITIZENS OF HAWKINS! I AM BUT A VESSEL FOR THE GODS, A BEARER, A MESSENGER OF THAT MOST HOLY WORD FROM MOUNT OLYMPUS! I HAVE SHARED OF THE COOTIE WITH A WOMAN, AND THUS OUR MARRIAGE BETWEEN EMPEROR AND DROOG IS SOLEMNIZED-…!”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP, FREAK!” Someone called out, immediately flinching back when Eddie rounded on him.
“THE GODS. HAVE. SPOKEN!” Eddie screeched, a glob of spit flying out of his mouth and onto the hot asphalt.
He was wide eyed. Deranged. Eddie lifted up the hem of his denim vest and held it out and to the side, to look like wings unfurling, screaming to the heavens as you began howling with him.
“YEAH!” You screamed out, raising your bottle and shouting every bit of nonsense you could think of, “GOD SANCTIONED DROOG MARRIAGE CO-RULER ULTRA-VIOLENCE! MAZEL TOV!”
“THE IMPERIAL HUSBAND NOW DEMANDS TO KISS THE DROOG BRIDE!” Eddie screamed, “PLANT ONE ON ME, GODDESS DIVINE OF THE REPUBLIC OF HAWKINS!!”
You looked at Chessie, who looked as if she was going to throw up or scream. It wasn’t immediately clear which. Instead of ending the joke, you grinned. Shrugged. The glossy magazine paper pages of the forgotten Avon Colorworks catalog ripped under the tread of your shoes when— without warning— you took off towards Eddie, and planted a fat wet kiss on his mouth. He froze for a moment, but returned the kiss with fervor, making an obnoxious hum and wet smack when you pulled away.
“Yum.” You gushed, licking your lips and changing your cadence to the unhinged Kubrick Cockney, “Them’s tasty cooties, they are, brother sir!”
“Yeah? Them false cytomegalovirus germs are what taste good to ya, droog?” He laughed, wrapping his arms around you and putting on his own terrible accent.
“That they are, sir, that’s what gives all me food and drink that plus flavor.” You grinned.
The two of you cackled, thoroughly enjoying throwing out random quotes and various insanities that to the normal person would put them off of your insanity and edge-lord humor. Chessie had long since taken off for the gated community of Loch Nora on her bike, but you didn’t care. You could live without a selection of eyeshadows, a rainbow tote purse, and all of your false friends if the choice came down to choosing them, or Eddie.
“Wanna go into the gas station and split another bottle of mono before we blow this joint?” You asked.
His grin could have rivaled that of Malcolm McDowell.
“Now, how can I say no to my new wife?” He grinned, holding out his arm for you to take, “But I am a man of my word, so you’re getting a new Coke, plus that Ring Pop so’s we can make this thing official.”
“Spare no expense, huh?” You grinned, and he pulled you in closer. Both of your hips knocking together.
“Hey… Only the best and finest gems and refreshments for Empress Droog the First of Hawkins, Indiana.” Eddie said with a confident smile.
You smiled at him, nudging one another with your bodies all the way into the gas station, until he pulled you in for another sloppy kiss in the middle of the snack aisle.
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aventurineswife · 3 days ago
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(For some reason I always imagine aven having twin boy and girl)
Can I request aven's baby twins playing with his boss form? Like they somehow saw it and begged their papa to play with his other form 😤😤
Through Their Eyes, a Hero
Summary: Aventurine takes a rare break from his gambles when his children burst into his study, full of energy and excitement. They show him a holographic image of his dramatic, superhero-like attire, and after some playful persuasion, he indulges them for a fun game of theatrics and mock battles. Aventurine finds solace in the joy of his children, allowing himself to embrace a rare vulnerability amidst the chaos of his life.
Tags: Aventurine and his twin kids, Fatherhood, Playful, Vulnerability, Family Moments, Humor, Tenderness, Heartwarming, Parenthood.
Warnings: Mild language (teasing), lighthearted humor.
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Aventurine sighed deeply, reclining in the high-backed chair of his study. Warm light spilled over the cluttered table, highlighting scattered papers—contracts, market reports, and etc. Another day of high-stakes gambles, moving lives and fortunes like pieces on a game board. For now, the "Aventurine of Stratagems" had come out ahead, but his victories felt as fleeting as the silence that enveloped him.
Then came the sound—a cascade of giggles ringing down the hallway, light and infectious. Aventurine froze, his pen pausing mid-stroke. The patter of small feet grew louder until, with all the subtlety of a crashing chandelier, the door burst open.
“Papa!” cried two golden-haired whirlwinds, their energy charging into the room.
The first child darted toward him, eyes sparkling with mischief, while the other lagged behind, clutching an object Aventurine couldn’t immediately identify—a holographic image projector.
“Papa, look!” the first one chirped, scaling his lap like a conqueror before Aventurine could protest.
The second child held up the projector triumphantly, their grin nearly splitting their face. With a flick of small fingers, the device hummed to life, projecting an image above the desk. Aventurine’s (boss fight) attire shimmered into view—a dramatic ensemble of black, cyan, and gold, complete with a fur-lined coat and luminous accents. The children’s awed expressions mirrored their admiration.
“You look like a superhero!” the second exclaimed, their pupils wide with excitement.
Aventurine chuckled, his usual enigmatic smile softening into genuine affection. “A superhero, you say? I thought I was more of a villain.” he teased, ruffling the first child’s hair.
“No way!” the first retorted, tugging at his sleeve. “You’re way cooler than a villain. Papa, can you wear it? Pleeease?” They clasped their hands in a dramatic plea, their determination impossible to ignore.
Aventurine leaned back, his fingers brushing absently over the choker around his neck. He let out an exaggerated sigh. “You think the grand Aventurine dons such an outfit on a whim? Surely, you jest.”
“Yes!” they chorused in unison, their resolve unshaken.
The first crossed their arms, pouting for effect. The second joined in, their bottom lip quivering as if preparing for an epic tantrum. Aventurine stared at the two tiny tyrants, their golden hair and stubborn gazes reminding him of someone long gone. The corner of his mouth twitched into a smirk.
“Very well,” he relented, standing with a flourish. “But know this—once I assume the attire of power, there is no going back.”
The children cheered, bouncing on their heels as Aventurine strode toward a sleek wardrobe tucked against the far wall. His movements were deliberate, each step exuding the flair of a gambler about to deal the winning hand. He opened the wardrobe, and disappeared inside.
“Behold!” he declared, his voice a commanding timbre as he spread his arms. The tails of his coat flared behind him like wings. “The Aventurine of Stratagems, master of fate, fortune, and… playtime!”
The children erupted into cheers, clapping and squealing with delight.
“You’re a superhero, Papa!” the youngest exclaimed, their admiration radiating like sunlight.
Aventurine swept into a low bow, his hat dipping dramatically before he straightened with a sly grin. “Then I hope you’re prepared, my little challengers. No hero—or villain—lets their opponents win without a fight.”
Laughter filled the room as Aventurine engaged them in an impromptu game of theatrics, mock battles, and exaggerated tricks. His dramatic lunges and calculated “defeats” sent the children into fits of giggles. For a brief, stolen moment, the weight of his world lifted, replaced by the pure joy of fatherhood.
As their game wound down, Aventurine reclined once more, pulling his children into his arms. Their giggles softened into sleepy murmurs, and as he cradled them, he allowed himself a rare moment of vulnerability. Perhaps, in the fleeting happiness of these whirlwinds, he could find something he’d thought lost forever—a reason to keep gambling with life.
For them, Aventurine thought with a quiet smile. Always for them.
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gd-dollopole · 13 hours ago
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The historians would be at the their doors twenty for seven, Gwen actually has to take bodyguards and managers to manage their interviews and stuff. Every interview then gets even more chaotic (Merlin’s already as we can see was pretty much crazy, LIKE, ARTHUR SCREAMING IN THE BACKGROUND, I CACKLED😭)
Everyone thirst for Leon, obvs, so he has a fandom, because “ he looks like the only sane on” (he isn’t) Arthur doesn’t understand Youtube, and asks Merlin, who was able to apologise and come to term with the fact that he is an idiot. It would be funny if Merlin remembers everything during an interview and he’s like,
“So there was this king and he was sort of a prat—wait… How do I know?” *everyone waiting on their sofas in their houses watching this live*
“There is someone—oh.”
Because at this point everyone knows their stories (Gwaine may or may not have spilled something during an Instagram live when he was drunk, Elyan recording him and laughing because what can you do? I love them as a chaotic duo, and Percival the boyfriend trying to calm down his man and his man’s bestie) and so they wait. Gwen is basically cursing every manager and bodyguard because they let MERLIN!!! OF ALL PEOPLE!!! HAVE AN INTERVIEW!!! AGAIN!!! And so she is calling people left and right while watching the telly, AND THEN LEON!!! HE BAKES! So he has important people in the house in the mean time and while the queen and his current wife goes batshit crazy, LEON IS SERVING BISCUITS WITH AN APRON ON!!!😭
And Arthur? Oh, Arthur is watching the live WITH A CAMERA ON AND HE DOESN’T KNOW IT’S LIVE!!!
He was on Youtube, trying to understand how that shit worked, and he was alone and he was thankful for that because no one wanted to leave him alone with technology BUT NOW HE CAN LOOK!!! So he put play on a live and doesn’t understand why the entirety of the United fucking Kingdom can see him and tells him shit like “what’s that behind you?” So while he’s scared and he’s also watching the tv with the phone recording him, the silence of the entire world is basically palpable and then Merlin widens his eyes, stays silent, a million images flashing back, his mark brightening up, and he goes,
“FUCK! THAT’S MY PRAT!”
And then he transports himself to Arthur’s house (who is live but doesn’t know. Everyone noticed, Gwaine is recording the live too)
only for him to tackle down Arthur on the sofa and kiss the shit out of him, and confess all his feelings and they cry and they’re a mess and meanwhile the UK is watching with pop-corns in hand like “FUCK, if that isn’t the Once and Future king shagging his hot man and also the most powerful warlock to ever walk the earth”
They keep going at it, while Gwen screams in the phone “ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION!”
Leon doesn’t understand shit because he’s still serving biscuits BUT THE WHOLE WORLD IS GONE AND THE REPORTERS ARE WATCHING THE MERTHUR MAKING OUT SESSION LIVE AND THEY GO, “Well, we have a clear image of Emrys the Great biting down on The Once and Future King’s neck—Oh, I’m so going to get a promotion—ZOOM IN, ROBERT!
*Robert zooms in*
Au where merthur have soulmate identifying mark but merlin is the only one who know they are because if Arthur knew he would find out about his magic 👀 (arthur's mark being a beautiful dragon mainly on on his back but its tall is draped on his torso, a wing stretch on his right shoulder, another end on his hip and its head rest upon his stomach. As if it were jealousy protecting him. its scale are of a blue so dark it nearly look black. It has golden eye and tread of gold on is horn, gold shimmer on its body highlighting its scale at some place.
It screams powerful sorcerer.)
And thus it doesn't change anything from the show. Merlin doesn't tell him not even at the very end (Merlin's mark is a smaller red dragon with its head on his shoulder and who is is holding itself on his shoulder)
It would be very angsty but also SO FUNNY if in a post return futur where arthur (Gwen, the knights) are very confuse and lost but luckily for them there exist multiple center for "People who got Teleported at the wrong place/Bought back from the dead? We are here to help!/ your five yo drank a weird potion? No problem! Etc" basically Magic help center.
Just imagine basic social worker sorcerers who tries to do their job at 3 am and see THE Emrys mark ™ on a random dude and they are like *gasp*.
Them : what the fuck
Arthur :???
Them :WHAT THE FUCK
the others :????
Them : we are calling your soulmate RIGHT NOW. WHAT THE FUCK should I call the government too???? I'M NOT PAY ENOUGH FOR THIS.
Arthur : my???
Them : YOU. DO NOT MOVE IF I LOSE YOU I'M DEAD. DEAD.
You can imagine arthur pendragon pacing like a 13 years old stressed before an oral presentation because even if he was afraid then thought he globally didn't really care about his soulmate. He realised that it wasn't so much that he didn't care but he thought it would simply never be so he just... Kinda forgot about it. Now he just can not put it away because is soulmate IS coming and WHERE IS MERLIN WHEN HE NEEDS HIM (he is blocking any thoughts about Merlin potential dead thank you very much)
(Gwen is currently finding the situation extremely funny because she figured out in 5x13 and she is 80 yo (in a younger body but still) . And she is waaaayyyyyy to old to see her former husband stay in his denial.
Leon is 78 years old and he is slowly recognising the dragon in question that look very much like Merlin's family crest. He is looking at his wife in a very conspiracy way.
Gwaine is currently not really giving a damn about the whole soulmate thing. What do you MEAN you can send messages to people in less that a second?!?!?
Elyan would usually not give a damn but he is very much not happy ™ to find out that his sister (first) husband had a soulmate mark who isn't dead and he is glaring at Arthur but he is also getting a hug from gwen so it doesn't look menacing at all.
Perceval (57) is right behind Gwaine but he is currently watching himself in the mirror because seeing his younger self again is weird asf
Meanwhile Lancelot is talking with the assistant (on the verge of a break down because they are going to see the GOD OF MAGIC OH MY GOD) about magical history
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melded-galaxy · 3 days ago
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sonic movie 3 stobotnik thoughts:
Watched the third installment earlier today and have a lot of thoughts
Likes:
Stone being confirmed as the protector in their relationship (His action scene in the chao garden restaurant and his plea 'i'm not there to protect you!') was amazing, you can definitely tell Stone had been traumatized after Robotnik got stranded in the mushroom world and then returned only to nearly fall to his death
'I already lost you once-!' 'Unsubscribed blocked and reported.' 'I can't lose you again...' Stone you deserve the world and so much better than Robotnik i'm sorry your hearts deadset on this dickhead <3
Robotnik's first name Ivo being dropped several times and pronounced eye-vo rather than ee-vo. always preferred the eye-vo pronounciation personally, feel like ee-vo is a bit too on the nose and doesn't sound as good.
Robotnik being open enough around Stone at the very start of the movie that he casually mentions that Stone is the only person he trusts and at the very end after he thought he found loving family only to be rejected and betrayed by Gerald admitting Stone was the only one to ever truly care about him my heart can't
More of the weird kinky BDSM shit my beloved - Eggman's reaction to seeing a shirtless tied up Stone 'Do that in your own time you sicken me' sent me as did the frigging shirt snatch and of course that glorious haircut scene
Stone getting to interact with characters that aren't Eggman. Him calling Tails adorable and that short moment where he hung out with Shadow was nice to see.
Again the haircut scene. Stone had zero excuses for straddling his bosses lap and nearly strangling him in a chokehold. Firestarter by Prodigy playing was just the cherry on top.
Stone getting cucked again by Robotnik's own grandpapa. First knuckles now sour gramps smh there's always a damn third wheel
Robotnik finally finding family and just CLINGING to them (quite literally the boot kissing scene was... something.) Ivo was so desperate for Gerald's love and approval, its such a great parallel to Stone's admiration for Robotnik. Honestly it makes sense that Robotnik immediately reacted so defensively when Stone warned him of Gerald and Shadows hidden plan, like Robotnik immediately reacted by attacking Stone back by accusing him of just being jealous because he felt his bond with gerald was being threatened. Robotnik even looked over at Gerald several times while he was chewing Stone out, clearly seeking his approval.
Eggman's announcement dedicated fully to Stone after three whole movies of Robotnik taking Stone for granted and Stone being ditched berated and sidelined. Finally after feeling the pain of Gerald's rejection (that 'You're no Maria' was ice cold) Ivo in his last moments alive makes sure Stone knows he reciprocates and pays tribute to Stone's love and loyalty to him, admitting that Stone was more than just a sycophant, a tool to be used and discarded, Stone was a 'syco-friend'. my HEART
That final 'I love the way you make 'em' the delivery was so heartfelt
Stone's tearful smile after saying goodbye to Robotnik. There's a sort of sad acceptance to it like finally hearing Robotnik admit that he does care about him too softens the blow of losing him and will help Stone to move on post movie. Maybe Stone after Robotnik's death with find someone that truly treats him right. A lot of people speculate that Stone will be the big bad of the next film but I don't know, I think in an interview by Lee he said that Stone just wanted to feel acknowledged by Robotnik and in the end Stone finally got that. I feel like its a good bookend for both Robotnik and Stone's characters arcs and i'd have mixed feelings if they were confirmed to appear in the next movie; while i'd love to see more of Robotnik and Stone's twisted dynamic in the next movie, I feel like it'd sort of undermine Robotnik's final moment of humanity at the end of movie 3. Then again someone has to have made and been controlling the metal sonics we saw in the post credit scene so who knows what the next movie will bring.
Dislikes:
Stone only getting like 6-7 minutes of screen time, I would have like a few more scenes with him interacting with Robotnik Gerald and other characters to flesh him out a bit more, maybe even learn more of his backstory. I felt like this was also a problem with Maria and Gerald; both needed a bit more time to flesh out their characters. It would have been cool to see more of Gerald and Maria before Maria's death for instance.
The movie steering away from the romantic subtext that was present in the second movie (the lattes with hearts, the romantic music playing in Stone's cafe and Stone photoshopping his boss into a maid outfit) in favour of a more platonic or atleast debatable dynamic between them - Stone being sad about not being Robotnik's 'best friend', Robotnik calling Stone his syco-friend and no outright explicit confirmation from either of them was kind of sad to see. Felt like there was potential to openly confirm stobotnik in a romantic if twisted relationship, especially given the two lived together for over a year in their crab mech and were clearly comfortable around eachother, but I guess maybe the producers were too nervous of backlash to do so so they went with a more dubious/platonic angle.
Robotnik immediately treating Stone worse once he connects with Gerald :( I suppose it makes sense; Ivo now has this shiny new family connection,from his selfish perspective why would he need boring old but reliable Stone but it still was sad to see Robotnik completely disregard everything Stone had done for him - staying by his side after leaving the government, doting on him and rescuing/caring for Robotnik after the latter fell from the giant mech in the second movie (not shown in the movie only storyboards but still presumably Stone was the one to rescue Robotnik). Personally i'd have preferred it if there was a bit more conflict from Robotnik's side, maybe have Gerald manipulate him into steadily distructing Stone more and more as the movie went on.
Stone not getting a scene where he snaps at Robotnik/shows a backbone. Yes he tried to to warn Robotnik of Gerald and Shadow's real plans for the world but again that was mostly for Robotnik's own wellbeing. Stone was terrified of losing him. It would have been nice to see after 3 movies of Stone being a doormat for Robotnik Stone finally erupt and stand up to Ivo.
Stone disappearing from the plot at the climax of the film AGAIN, a reoccuring theme in the trilogy lol, Stone disappears from the plot after Robotnik tells him to ready the prototype in the first movie and again in the second, though to a lesser extent, after he was knocked out in the mech. It would have been cool to see him do a little more, maybe aid Robotnik Tails and Knuckles in stopping Gerald in some way instead of merely being a bystander.
Similarly to the second movie I feel like Jimbotnik and now Gerald were a bit TOO zany at times. Like the scene at their first meeting when they both looked at the camera and broke the fourth wall made me groan and god... the Ivo vs Gerald fight was... bad and not even in a so bad its good way way more a killing the pacing and tension way. Like why why put the jim carrey selfspank scene right after Sonic and Shadow had a heart to heart on the moon. Why.
Robotnik's overuse of modern slang also made me wince a bit... didn't like it in the second movie don't like it anymore in the third. I found some of the quips funny like the trauma dumping line but most of the times I felt the jokes were pandering too much to kids and would age badly.
No scene where Wade once again awkwardly third wheels while Robotnik and Stone be weird together again :(
THE FLASHBACK SCENE BEING CUT :'( In the leaked storyboards Robotnik was going to a have a sort of 'feelings realization' moment where he presumably contemplates why he's bothering to save the Earth. A flashback was going to appear showing the scene where Stone gives Robotnik his latte after the latter returned in movie 2, Stone in his GUN disguise rescuing Robotnik after the latter was trapped under the rubble of his mech post movie 2 and a scene where a concerned looking Stone is handfeeding Robotnik soup complete with Robotnik looking depressed in a full body cast. The final storyboard picture showed a wide eyed and concerned Robotnik clearly realizing that Earth being destroyed would mean Stone was going to die as well. The flashback and Stone's life being on the line was what would have prompted Robotnik to try to save the planet. The flashback and feelings realization scene was cut for some reason from the final film :( Think I still have the leaked storyboard images somewhere on my blog but we were robbed.
Well this got longer than expected haha, hope its somewhat coherent.
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