#if it's on my blog i think it's interesting and probably worth talking about

[lettersiarrange]

Kind of surprised I have to make this post, but as a PSA, I don't agree 100% with everything I reblog

Sometimes I reblog things because I think they're an interesting perspective I hadn't considered before, but want to think more about. Sometimes I reblog things because I agree with the overall point even if I disagree with the phrasing of some things or minor points. Sometimes I reblog things I'm still making up my mind about, but that I thought added value to a conversation. Sometimes I reblog things whose ideology I align with but that take a completely different approach than I would.

I'm not going to write out a whole thesis in the tags on every post about which sentences I agree with and which I don't. I think if you've been following me for a while you know my values and what I'm about, and it's fair to assume that perspectives that show up over and over again are things I really do fully agree with. I'm never going to reblog something I fully or mostly disagree with without commentary making that clear, but if I see a post that makes a good point but that I have some more nuanced feelings about during my Mindless Scrolling Time, I might reblog it without putting on my Academic Hat and deconstructing every bit of it in my reblog. Maybe I'll bring it up to a friend irl later if I have a lot of Thoughts.

The only thing you should assume I agree with 100% without question are posts I write myself. And even then, if the post is more than a year old, I may have grown and changed some of my opinions since then.

Just wanted to put that out there because I've gotten a few asks recently that say something to the effect of "I can't believe you really think x" (referring to a post I thought had an interesting perspective I hadn't seen articulated in that way before), or "wooww, [quotes a line from a post that's referring to a specific approach I wouldn't take, but respect the right of other people to]". Like sorry but if you have an issue with the way a post is written or the choices of the person writing the post, consider taking that to the OP??

If you want to come into my askbox and start a conversation in good faith abt something, that's fine. Please do definitely tell me if you feel like I've reblogged something that's part of a broader context that doesn't seem in line with my values but that you think I probably am not aware of. Ie, I reblogged a post with terfy undertones without realizing, or I reblog something that I think is just being critical of the government but is actually contextually part of an anti-voting strategy/discourse. It's ok to say "hey I was surprised to see that on your blog, I didn't think that aligned with your values"-- maybe I'm missing context or am still figuring out how I feel and would welcome other perspectives.

But I'm not going to take responsibility for how other people phrase things or the choices they make with regards to how they live their values/politics. People coming into my askbox mad about one sentence of a post I reblogged, assuming I agree with the post 100% and would say that myself, without making an effort to educate/discuss in good faith, will be ignored.

Surprise surprise, reading something and thinking it would be valuable for other people to read too is not the same thing as endorsing the entire text uncritically by default.

If you want to know how I actually feel about something, feel free to politely ask.

[waywardsalt]

oh yeah i’ve got a bunch of loz aus that i haven’t really talked about. a few of them are listed and slightly explained in this poll and explanation reblog but i haven’t gone out of my way to actually list the aus i have and really explain them. so that’s what this post is for. here are some... decently simple explanations of my major aus and what they're generally about

i have two kinds of aus: original aus (loz aus that are set in their own kinds of worlds with their own stories and twists on character roles) and then crossover aus (we all know how this works i just mash loz and a thing i like together)

original aus: (many currently dont have actual titles, so the titles will often just be concept shorthand)

in the court of the crimson king/crimson king au: probably the most developed and closest to being written out. it's got one of the longer premises; set in a industrial-esque hyrule city, following linebeck as the main character, as the adoptive older brother of link and aryll, living with them and their grandmother as the only one able to reliably make money to pay for rent and food, leaving every other week to do jobs, but he moonlights as the 'demon of the gray moon', a masked persona he'd created as a child that had long since become a city-wide urban legend, anonymously taking unsavory jobs from whomever can contact him and offer pay, often working directly for bellum, a childhood friend, the one who enabled and trained him to become the demon, and one of five anonymous leaders of the city. linebeck effectively lives a double life, and tries to stay out of too much trouble to avoid drawing attention to himself or making his adoptive family worry, but he gets dragged into more and more danger as bellum becomes curious about the identities of the city's other leaders, and linebeck falls in love with a man named ganondorf, suspected to be one of those other city leaders. ive got a few posts related to it already: this one being another vague concept descriptor, this one being an actual scene i have written out.

'gimmick' au: i cannot explain the gimmick without spoiling the au. put simply, in this au, hyrule as a whole has been at war for ten years, every race and kingdom taking sides in a conflict that seems to be going nowhere. link joined the hylian army young, and has made his way up the ranks to become trusted by queen zelda herself, and things in the war take an interesting turn as he and zelda discover a new faction, unaligned with any particular kingdom and with unknown motives, and zelda decides to set out to the different parts of hyrule, link and a chosen group of trusted allies in tow, intending to try negotiation one more time before things take a turn for the worse.

sci-fi/space au: the fun one that probably would need to be done in a visual medium. it takes place in a solar system of a few planets, link growing up on the planet hyrule and occasionally traveling to the others as a knight specializing in investigating and taking down dangerous bounty hunters, working for zelda as a friend. he and zelda uncover a plot by the yiga clan to accumulate a number of highly dangerous research and weapons held by each species as they aim to resurrect a demon to wreck havoc on the solar system- the b plot being about the top bounty hunters in the solar system screwing around, eventually colliding with link and zelda's a plot as it begins to involve them.

murder mystery(?) au: one of the older ones, maybe one of the oldest that i still stick with. this might actually be one of the first ones i tried writing. the plot begins when zelda returns to hyrule city years after her father- the former mayor- was murdered, finding that he has been replaced by ganondorf and that while things seem fine enough on the surface, random and organized crime run the show, and she begins a private detective agency as 'sheik', a masked young man, and with the help of impa, and old friend and confidant, she moonlights as sheik and uses her daytime identity as zelda to help chip away at some of the city's biggest problems and finds herself drawn into a long string of murders that appear to be anything but random violence.

ruined hyrule 1: i have two au’s with the premise of hyrule being ruined. neither of them have more specific names yet. this one begins with the majority of greater hyrule's population having long since locked themselves in hyrule castle town in order to escape the increasingly dangerous wildlife. zelda, a young girl at the beginning, becomes curious about what lies beyond the city walls, and makes friends with many other children within this sheltered hyrule, and as they grow up together, aim to eventually venture out into the wilderness to see what may have caused the outside world to become so incredibly hostile.

ruined hyrule 2: the other ruined hyrule. set in a devastated hyrule, roughly ten years after the royal family was killed, link failing to save them or hyrule in the time since. he now resolves to set out and indiscriminately destroy every demon that plagues the ruined hyrule, meeting and bringing along various allies, each of which has been uniquely affected by and have different lived in this altered, dangerous shell of hyrule.

modern (school): i also have two modern aus. this one isn’t plot driven, just a concept i have, would work best as little vignettes or something. essentially just the idea of a group of loz characters hanging out together in a modern high school (or college?) setting.

modern: this is the one with an actual plot. follows the general idea of zelda characters living in a modern world only for the typical legends to begin resurfacing and heralding dark events. plot specifics are murky, but that's the general idea.

dark mage: this is the au that where the seas meet the sands takes place in. basically just ganondorf x linebeck shenanigans in this alternate hyrule while actual plot sneaks up on them. named 'dark mage' mostly because the initial idea behind this au was that linebeck would learn magic.

horror au: doesn't have the best name, and it's ended up just being a personal sandbox for me. constantly changing, with the cast and setting often altering if i find that something isn't working or sticking. it's an au i've considered (and even briefly tried) writing in the past, but it's still too fluid, and writing horror effectively is difficult. it's a fun au, though.

mecha au: spawned because i watched neon genesis evangelion. a lot of this au's basic concepts can be found here: x but the short version is that hyrule is being besiged by massive monsters, but each race has created their own mechs to combat them. link is just a farmer who happens to have a strange knack for being a mech user, so is brought in by zelda as a gamble to bolster their chances, and he is tasked with working with a new and less-than-trustworthy crew to help fight those monsters.

'amnesia link' au: an au that sprang up in about a day and hasn't gotten too far since. basic premise being that three years prior to the story, link and a group of allies has faced off against ganondorf and, despite their best efforts, lost, with link being presumed dead by their enemies. now, link has woken up from his coma, his memories gone and hyrule taken over, and, with guidance, must once again travel across hyrule, aiming to rediscover his allies and try to face ganondorf once more.

A quick list of crossovers: I won't explain these in length, since they can range from having their own plot to just being a fun mental concept. So, the things I have made crossover aus with are:

Warrior Cats

Batman

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Persona 5

Pokemon

(there are other, smaller ones, these are just the ones i consistently pay attention to)

So! These are the majority of my legend of zelda aus, some of which I may write, some of which just exist in my mind for fun, all of which I wouldn't mind talking more about if anyone is curious!

[kaijutegu]

Aug ABSOLUTELY deserves the praise, @ryukikit. St. Augustine Alligator Farm is one of my favorite animal facilities, hands down. It's a pretty zoo, doable in an afternoon if you kinda like crocodilians, or an all day affair if you REALLY like crocodilians. Here are my favorite things about it and why I think it's worth supporting.

1. They keep animals in interesting social groups.

Crocodilians are heavily involved parents, but most places that breed them don't have the enclosure space to let the babies stay with the parents. St. Augustine does. One of my favorite groups was their crèche of slender-snouted crocodiles. They had the parents and then a yearling cohort and a new hatchling cohort. This aligns with how these guys live in the wild- the babies stick around longer! They have the space for it, and they are very in tune with the social needs of their animals.

Very, very few zoos can keep their baby crocs with the adults and still perform maintenance and animal health checks safely. This doesn't mean these facilities are bad- it just means that they have different management practices. And frankly, a lot of these species aren't frequently bred elsewhere. Your average zoo doesn't need a setup where you can have a multiyear crèche for slender-snouted crocodiles. Some species have better success when the young are pulled early, and some zoos are better set up to raise out any offspring separately or behind the scenes. Every facility's practices are different, and this just happens to work well at St. Augustine and be really enjoyable to see as a zoo patron.

Crocodilians are exceptional parents and very protective. It's a sign of incredible animal management practices and animals that feel very comfortable with staff that St. Augustine can do this with nearly every species they breed.

2. They understand the social needs of their animals.

Some crocodilians are social. Some are solitary. Some can live happily with a member of the opposite sex but get territorial around members of the same sex. St. Augustine pays incredible attention to their social groupings to ensure that they aren't just meeting the animals' physical health needs but their social needs as well. They do continuous scientific research about social structures in crocodilians, taking blood samples to test stress hormones and observing stress behaviors to see how group dynamics change.

For example, St. Augustine is home to one of the world's largest known living saltwater crocodiles, Maximo. And his comparatively tiny mate, Sydney. During the educational presentations with these two, they point out that even their monster of a croc needs his social group- he won't eat if she's not around and he is calmer during medical checks if he can see her. These animal share a deep and special pair bond, and they make sure to talk about how the social aspect of these animals' lives is integral to their care. It's a unique aspect of the way they talk about these animals, because he IS a spectacle and he IS a sensation, but they don't talk about him like he's a mindless killing machine- they talk about him like he's a big, complex predator with social needs like any other animal. Aug is the only facility I've been to where the emotional and social needs of crocodilians is part of the education they provide guests- and speaking of education...

3. Their demos and presentations are extremely good.

The presentations at St. Augustine are some of the best I've ever seen, and I've seen literally hundreds of animal talks on everything from aardvarks to zebras. But as you... can probably tell from my blog content, I've spent a lot of time learning about and working with reptiles. I really enjoyed all of their presentations because they are very scientific about things and avoid sensationalism. They really want you to be fascinated by these creatures and love them- but more than anything else, they want you to respect them.

Also, they do a really good job handling their ambassadors. I really enjoyed something as simple as watching an educator tell us about snakes. Throughout the whole presentation she made sure that most of the snake's body was looped in her hand. The snake was always supported and was very calm. She gave the snake plenty of head room so that it didn't feel constricted- it was just good handling all around.

But also, the presentations made it clear how much the park cares about the animals' well-being. When they do the feeding and training presentations, they make it very clear that the animals' participation is entirely voluntary. They do things differently for their 9-foot saltie and their 16-foot saltie, because the 16-footer is so large and heavy he actually struggles walking on land sometimes. They adapt their programs and his care to ensure that he's completely comfortable- and he didn't actually participate in the whole feeding when I was watching! At no point did they try to push him into anything uncomfortable; they offered, he didn't engage, and they moved on. It was a clear expression of his boundaries, and I really appreciated how much his caretakers respected that.

4. Ethical Interactions

I've been to... a lot of tourist locations in Florida that have animals you can hold. Almost always against my will! Many of them are pretty terrible, and you don't actually learn much, if anything. But I really found that to not be the case at St. Augustine. Every single animal presentation and interaction opportunity was accompanied by education about the animal's biology, habits, and- crucially- their conservation status.

When I held a baby alligator at St. Augustine, the proctors- there were two, one to ensure I was holding the gator correctly and the other to educate- were very informative about the role alligators play in their ecosystem and their conservation history. The animals were all properly banded, and one of the two proctors was there to ensure that none of the baby alligators were uncomfortable. As soon as they started getting squirmy or tense, they were removed, unbanded, and taken to an off-exhibit area to relax. And when the babies age out of petting size, they just go in the lagoon to live with others of their species. I saw one upset alligator the entire time I was there, and he was clearly upset that his escape attempt was foiled by a keeper during my nursery tour.

Even though he's restrained in this shot, you can see that his full body and tail are supported, and the grip, while firm, is gentle. He's distressed, but after I took this picture, she put him in his enclosure and he calmed down immediately.

Sometimes when you have petting attractions with baby animals, those animals... don't have a happy ending. (See: cub petting.) But St. Augustine's program is fine- the gators are all aged out of wanting to have mom around, there's no declawing/defanging, and they're handled with care. And it's worth it, because people love what they understand. St. Augustine was integral in raising public awareness about alligators back in the 60s when they were endangered, and now they're thriving- largely in part to programs like St. Augustine getting people to care.

And speaking of getting people to care, let's talk about their research.

5. Shared Research Results

St. Augustine is also home to more species of crocodilian than anywhere else in North America- all of them, usually. (They didn't have a Tomistoma when I visited- that may have changed.)

Because of this species diversity, it's an incredible research resource. Having every species means that you can do a lot of work comparing their behaviors, their growth patterns, and more. They've been a major research site for crocodilian biology since the 1970s. Today, they're one of the key sites for studying crocodilian play and social behaviors. They actually maintain a blog where they post copies of papers that were written using their animals, meaning that you can actually see the results of the research your admission helps fund. You can see that right here: https://www.alligatorfarm.com/conservation-research/research-blog/

All of this adds up to a zoo that provides a unique experience, tons of actual education, and transparency about what its research and conservation steps actually are. St. Augustine's come a long way since its opening in 1893, and they really do want you to leave with a new respect for the animals they care for. Ultimately, if you're a fan of reptiles, you can feel good about visiting the St. Augustine Alligator Farm- their care and keeping are top of the line, they do a ton of innovative conservation research and support for conservation organizations, and you can see this animal there:

(Gharial from the front. Nothing is wrong with her that's just what they look like from the front.)

[hellspawnmotel]

love your blog and your art!! and realised ive been following you for almost ten years so thank you for the quality posts

have you got any thoughts on ralsei and noelle in terms of both of them taking on “the girl” role in the game? or i guess rather ralsei trying to be the girl in his own meta and sorta weird way. i know youve drawn them together a couple times but would love to hear any analysis if you have thoughts (if youve already posted about this and i missed it my bad! feel free to ignore)

well damn that's flattering. wish I had some kind of membership program so I could give you a little gift, haha

anyway. this is something I've touched on before but only really spelled out once so you're good. I think there's several factors at play with ralsei's metatextual femininity: his status as the party squishy mage/healer, his status as kris's (and by extension, the player's) love interest, his obsession with roles and subservience, and the fact that ralsei is probably meant to be as appealing to the player as possible. none of those things are INHERENTLY feminine of course, but they are in the context of a story with an audience. we don't know for sure yet how ralsei feels about all that, but I'd wager he either thinks he wants it or thinks it has to be his purpose and he wants to do a good job at it. ralsei is like..... the wife. he's the perfect wife. and he's really good at it! the audience LOVES ralsei! whenever my art gets reposted on reddit, there are way more romantically charged or even sexually explicit comments about ralsei than any other character. when I posted my "choose your bride" illustration, most of the people commenting said they would choose ralsei over noelle, with some even saying that it's because noelle "already belongs to susie".

and that leads into his parallels with noelle. like ralsei, noelle is a fragile magic user, is generally more shy and demure (though both of them can break out of that easily), is shown as pining for the object of her affections, and she's slotted into the role of "the love interest" for susie (or for kris/the player, but I'm gonna focus on normal route here). the ferris wheel scene also directly parallels the acid tunnel of love- both forcing the two "couples" to be alone together in a deliberately romantic setting with nothing to do but talk. I've already talked plenty about noelle's roles as the girl, the bride, the damsel, etc. so I won't get into it again, but I think the connections made between kralsei and suselle are worth keeping an eye on. there's nothing to indicate that susie and noelle's budding romance is anything but sweet and genuine, but at the same time you have to wonder what it means that the game is pushing them together in a way so similar to kris and ralsei.

to reference classic jrpg dragon quest v: hand of the heavenly bride, nera comes out of nowhere and was tailor-made to be a wife, while bianca is a childhood friend you have an actual prior connection with. but it doesn't really matter who you choose to marry. in the end they both get kidnapped and sidelined as soon as they're done having your babies.

[marchsfreakshow]

Poems Of A Killer [James Patrick March]

Angst / suggestive at the end

You were always interested in how ghosts work. Your blog led you to The Hotel Cortez.

Oops I got inspired by @fear-is-truth 's James cai bot where you're trapped in his room bcs the conversations I had w that bot were delicious sorry.

Blogger!Reader

Words - 5.3k (holy shit guys-)

I went through hell and back for this fic I rlly hope it's worth it. I'm proud of it in the end. ♡

No one's perspective

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

"So, ghosts roam these halls, correct?"

Liz was taken aback by your question. They weren't the first words she expected from your lips, but they were welcomed like an order to her bar.

"Why, yes, they do. You are, in fact, talking to a ghost itself."

A gasp and a smile graced your face just as the sentences were spoken. A real, proper ghost! How exhilarating. You immediately started to blurt out questions, scribbling Liz's answers down like they were your lifeline.

You spoke together for what felt like hours. 3 pages of full notes about ghosts, the hotel and the tasty history of such a place as this. One firm handshake and key exchange later, you were up in you room.

Scribbling down potential essay ideas for... well, for yourself. Most people would probably think you were crazy if you uploaded the essay to your blog. Then again, it wasn't a terrible idea. Most of your followers were believers in ghosts. They loved the paranormal and the un-natural things in life. In fact, an anonymous telling you about The Cortez was the reason for your trip.

'Hey! Your blog is probably the best paranormal blog out there! I know you're LA-based, so how about the Hotel Cortez? It's known to be haunted as fuck and plenty of the ghosts are apparentally staff members. Definitely go look if you're not busy! -🩷'

Obviously, you knew about The Cortez. Everyone in LA did. It was famous, but you never had an intent to go there. You read over the anon over and over until you figured you should.

1 car, 2 notebooks, 3 ballpoint pens, at least 4 books and a ton of music in your car's aux. You drove from one half of LA to the other, thinking about just how much this hotel might be with the likes of Lana Del Rey and Hozier playing from your car's speakers. Secretly, you hoped the ghosts of The Cortez would like you and would easily take to you. Just play it cool. Nice and kind.

Most ghosts easily spoke to you if you asked a question. Mainly, you asked about the spirits. Who ghosted, how, when, and why. There were plenty of stories to go around. Two influencers, frankly, you had never ever heard of. Two Swedes who always walked around in their underwear with a Mr.Woo at their feet. They were pretty weird, but you took their story anyway. You took a few more stories. Their births, their deaths and how they ended up dying here.

"You want to know about me, huh? My life... my... annoying death and how I ended up ghosting this fucking rotten place?"

"Yes. Everything. It will be worth it, I promise. Let's start with your name. What's your name?"

"...Sally." Sally started talking hesitantly about her life. The drugs she invested in, the sex she had to get them. Iris. How Iris pushed her off a roof in the nineties because of Donovan.

"Does Donovan ghost here? I could write a tragic tale of parents and child with him and Iris' stories combined." You chuckled, attemping to find some humour in Sally's words.

"No, he decided to fully fuck off when he died."

"oh... Okay." Still, you wrote it down. "Are there uh, any ghosts you wouldn't recommend I talk to?" You asked mutteringly, still writing down ideas and notes from what Sally told you. She took a long, harrowing drag from that cigarette of hers. Every time she did, you were convinced she was thinking heavily about the fact she was stuck here for eternity.

"uh, there's...someone. Won't show you him until he thinks you deserve it."

"Oh?"

She gave a little 'mhm' and a nod, taking another long, thoughtful drag. "You might've heard of him."

It clicked in your head and you smiled down at the words on your page. Scribbled like a school child's words. The founder of such a place. The, artist of a building like this. Every brick and decoration. "Mr. March." You breathed out quietly, gripping hard onto the pen in your fingers. You were convinced he was the ghost to ghost all ghosts. Whatever the hell that meant. "Oh, oh that would be a conversation for the ages.."

"Well I doubt you'll get anywhere...he doesn't show himself lightly." She bit back, quite defensive immediately.

The conversation about James led on for a few hours. One topic of his life at a time. Your notebook was almost full already. There was so many things you could explore with his story of his life. His childhood...how he started killing... God!

You read through your notes in the evening, laying on the frankly, uncomfortable and creaky bed. You weren't even moving and the springs broke and bounced under your body. How on earth were you meant to sleep on this bed tonight? It made a groan leave you as you eventually decided to open your laptop, writing your notes up into a document to work on in the morning.

As you slept however, without any notice from you, someone stood, reading over your open laptop. How did you find out his backstory? Who told you his childhood? Who decided to give you information about his kills and his relationship with the lady in the penthouse suite? "Mysterious thing aren't you?" He murmured, leaning down to look at your notebook.

The day ran away with you. You spent almost the whole day in Liz's bar typing away at your laptop. Liz kept your hunger and thirst up. Happily providing you with snacks and soda pop as long as you promised good promotion and more publicity. Well, your blog had 5k followers. Atleast 1k were active with your posts. Someone had to take the bait and visit the hotel. "Sooo, how's the writing going? Anyone find interest in the hotel yet?" Liz asked

"Huh? No, not yet. I'm still working on a first draft for your story."

"My story?"

"Yes!" You exclaimed, looking up at Liz with a proud grin. "I think this could really get queer and trans people in this hotel for Pride."

She almost chuckled, lighting a cigarette of her own. The idea of people who were queer or trans in any sense of the words, coming to this hotel because they knew they'd be safe, it warmed her heart. "How many stories do you have?"

"um, let's see... Sally's. Iris and Donovan's. A lady named Elizabeth March. You. Hazel Evers'..." You continued your list with the ghosts you had met so far.

"Quite the chatterer aren't you? Well, I'm glad everyone is comfortable enough to open themselves up to you. Usually they aren't so welcoming to strangers, wanting their stories.."

You shrugged slightly, confident about the fact that the ghosts opened up to you so easily. It made you want to be cocky, but you were keeping it up this way instead. "I spoke for hours to Sally. She told me basically everything. Oh I loved talking to her, truly. The way she knows everything about every ghost here...it's wonderful. This notebook..." You held up one of the notebooks you brought with you quickly. "Was empty when I got here! Empty! Now it's basically 70% full of stories. It will keep everyone on the blog fulfilled...for months!"

"Very nice, very nice. Another Dr.Pepper?"

"Yes! Please."

And yet you continued to write. Sometimes you'd squirm in place. Like something was burning the clothes on your back. It was mildly uncomfortable and odd, however, it was a feeling you'd gotten used to quickly throughout the night and the day. Maybe some ghosts didn't want to show themselves to you, refused to acknowledge the living. It seemed to be common and that was fine with you; another thing to add to the collection of stories about the undead souls here.

"Keep an eye on my laptop please Liz, I just remembered something." Liz agreed as you quickly got up and headed for your room. Maybe you left a pen, or you needed some charging block for your laptop.

"I find their energy, quite exhilarating, don't you?"

Liz shrugged a little. "If anything they're giving this place a little pep. I think publicity will do this place some good."

He nodded simply. "How long are they staying?"

"1 and a half weeks if memory serves me right."

"Hm." He hummed and then walked off, suddenly lost in some thoughts.

You went by him and you didn't even notice. Coming back with a charging block and the cable. Quickly, you plugged it in and immediately got back to work. Not speaking another word to anyone else in the bar. Liz's story was finished quickly, and you moved onto Sally's with unbridled haste. You were practically dead to the world, lost in the screen and the ghost's lives when they were alive.

It was probably your 5th day here when he decided to show himself to you. It was the evening. Your eyes were sore, tired and in need of break. Perhaps a full 8 hours sleep?

"Maybe, a break is needed?"

Your head spun around, and you made eye contact with him. "Oh. Um, maybe." Were the only words that left your mouth. Speaking without thinking. In your head, you weren't sure if you were making him up or if he was really there. "I'm almost done with a few stories though, and I just need to finish one up."

"Tell me, what are your stories about? I find myself intrigued by...your.." He paused, attempting to remember what you called that device that was on the table by your side. The thoughtful look on his face, mixed with your confusion dragged the silence on for a minute or two.

"um, laptop?" You said quietly after a moment, holding it up with a confused smile.

He nodded. "Of course. A, lap...top."

It almost made you chuckle. He must've been kidding...right? Then again, most ghosts here were either incredibly modern or were brand new to things like phones and laptops.

Oh you were so sweet looking... Bright eyed and bushy tailed is the phrase you would probably use. Either way, you agreed. In the back of your head you had this nagging to get atleast a little bit of sleep. Even just 4 hours would do. It made you sigh and nod, rubbing your sore eyes gently to make them feel less fuzzy. "I think..a break is due, actually." You muttered, closing the lid to your laptop and moving yourself away from the table.

He almost smiled. "That would be wise." Encouraging you to take a break and rest.

As you settled yourself into the uncomfortable bed, the springs digging into your side and legs, you glanced up at the man. "You look familiar. I do genuinely have a feeling I know you.." you murmured as your eyelids started to grow heavier. Taking a deep breath, you let your eye lids close, a start in attempting to get some sleep. Not like it would work well with the bed being as uncomfortable as it was.

The man kneeled down by your bedside, staring his dead eyes into your face as you attempted asleep. "I believe I am just the man you are looking for in this modern quest of yours." He said quietly. You hummed quickly as a response, not really listening to him. "...You are radiant when resting your eyes my dear."

James watched you sleep. Essentially.

He found himself intrigued by your reasoning for staying at the Cortez, and wanted to know more about you, yet never wanted to disturb your writing. Seeing your fingers work so nimbly against the keyboard and your eyes light up when you had finished one part was truly a beautiful spectacle. He had to have more. Have you as comfortable as possible in the hotel. Quickly, you were knocked out.

He brought you to his room, and everything you had brought with you. Courtesy of Ms.Evers of course. "Quite, pretty." He muttered, watching your unconscious body lie on his bed. Of course he would find you the most attractive when you've been knocked out... Ms.Evers gave a half hearted agreement. You were, a regular human to her.

Being a 'journalist' , as your dedicated followers called you, usually meant you were more observant. You noticed the stocked mini bar. The jumbled mess of your items on the bed next to you. What looked like a living room. And god, your head killed! It felt like someone was in your brain, trying to knock a wall down to escape or something. Fuck, it felt awful. Thank fuck the curtains were drawn though. "God...fuck me.."

"Ah, no need for such vulgar language. Here, some whiskey and medicine." He handed you a small glass of whiskey and two pills of paracetamol. Eugh..you didn't even drink Kopparberg, let alone something like whiskey. Your distaste for the alcohol was obvious to him, and it only made a slight laugh escape his lips. "I understand your distaste if you are not a drinker, however, this will only help you further."

Doubt that! Heavily...

Even though you turned your nose up to the whiskey, it was better than swallowing the pills dry. Begrudgingly, you picked up the small glass and took the pills out of his hand. "That headache of yours shall disappear in an instant, there is no doubt about that." He offered you a smile, and you only gave him a dull, neutral look before you placed the pills in your mouth. Deep breath. And you quickly shot down the whiskey, swallowing in one gulp.

Once you had gotten over the absolutely dreadful taste and burn in your throat, you blinked and looked back up. James Patrick March. Good...god.

He must've noticed the slight awe in your look. "I have, gotten used to that look in my time, yet it never fails to make me smile." James decided to take a walk around his room. "I hear you write for the modern world. You talk of the souls and the undead. Like the ones you have written for here. Even a story of me."

The silence lingered before he glanced back at you. Oh, right. You should talk. Respond with something. "Uh, yes I do. It takes me around the US. I went to a place called, uh, The Murder House. Lots of ghosts roam there and keep it clean. I um, it reminds me of this hotel." Nodding, hoping you weren't rambling about nothing.

You were so perfect. "Hm. Quaint. Tell me, what stories of mine have you collected?" James sat down by the table, already holding a glass of alcohol, swishing it around as he spoke. Swallowing some nerves, you adjusted on the bed and started talking his whole life story back to him. At one point, you got up and started reading back from your notebook. Every detail that you had been told about from the others here.

James was almost shocked by the fact you knew almost every detail. Almost. Some of them exaggerated parts to make him seem more intimidating to you. It only made him want you more. To keep you forever. Obviously, he wasn't going to tell you he wanted to keep you as his. No no... That would only scare you off. This was going to be difficult though. You were a, a blogger. Whatever that word was meant to mean. You needed to be outside more. With the stories you had collected, James suspected you could keep this blog of yours active for maybe a few months. Little white lies to add to the stories of the souls here, just to keep everyone interested. It had to work. Had to.

"...You truly are an interesting thing aren't you?"

You stopped your sentence at James' rehtoric question, and looked at him for a moment. A little blush appeared on your face, and a tiny smile almost ghosted your lips. One of your favourite rare compliments was being called interesting. "Oh, um...thank you Mr.March."

He almost smiled again, the faintest vision of lips turned up in the corners. "I find your formalities, almost unbearable. James shall be fine my dear."

"James..." Repeated softly. As if you were tasting a name. For the serial killer in front of you, 'James' tasted like old nicotine, alcohol and strong iron.

"I suggest it is a name you should get used to, I have a feeling you shall be here," he paused as he got up and walked a few steps towards you. Leaning down and looking in your eyes. "Until the last star in the sky has burnt out and crumbled this world to dust."

Time had lost its meaning. Sure, you could look at the date on your laptop and find comfort in that, but god, it felt like it didn't matter anymore.

Sighing, you rubbed your temples again before holding your face in your hands. "My dear, take a break from this bright screen. I have brought you something." James' voice cut off your scrambling thoughts as he reached over your shoulder and brought the lid to your laptop down. He had gotten used to it, even if he still didn't fully understand what it was. Looking up at James for a moment, you shifted in your seat to face him properly.

His rare gifts occasionally made you smile, but overall you were too focused on your writings to properly care. "Oh, um, what is it?" You asked as James placed the black box on your laptop. Great. Eventually, after some staring, you picked up the box. The box was velvet and had a white silk bow keeping it together. Well, at least he knew your taste. You pocketed the silk, definitely keeping it, just because. Gently peeling the lid off the box, there was a book. Seemingly homemade, shittily put together. It simply read 'Poems' at the cover.

James simply kept a sly smile on his face, watching your fingers work at opening the box up. Picking the small book up. He was desperate to see a new smile on your face, seeing how much you liked the effort he went through for this present. All he wanted was for you to like him. Not that you didn't have manners and didn't say thank you, obviously. Of course you did, that was just nice but never failed to make him happy and satisfied for the next few days.

Skimming through the book, you read a few words on each poem. They were, actually, decent. Pretty handwriting and sweet words on the pages. "Okay, James, this one is just Juliet's speech but with my name instead of Romeo's."

"Yes...A tragedy for the ages isn't it? I suppose the difference here is that I'm already dead. Haunting the hotel for eons to come."

"...You say that like you're planning to kill me James."

The silence was long. Uncomfortably extended. His hands were hesitating around the back of your neck. Like Patrick Bateman when he was hesitating to kill Luis Carruthers in the bathroom. It wasn't lost on you. "James?" The soft ask from your voice snapped the killer out of his fantasies, his hands retracting as you looked up and behind at him. Oh, that look in your eyes. Gentle fear, mixed with confusion and wonder. Such a look that internally melted James.

So, he had to lie. Keep you unassuming and unaware. "No, my hummingbird. I dare not harm you. The comparison of Romeo and Juliet is simply a sweet thing to keep you inspired. Keep your energies up as you write the stories you're here for."

"Ah, right. Well thank you James, I appreciate it." Nodding as you placed the book in the box, and shifting it away from the laptop. You needed to continue with a few stories, and if you got them done now. As much as you could get done while being stressed out and down with writer's block. Could journalists get writer's block? You certainly thought and believed so. It felt like it was killing you. You wished it killed you at this point.

That sleep was long, hazy and disturbed. There felt like there was a weight on your chest. Something pinning you down, keeping you as pushed down as possible. Well you certainly weren't going anywhere. You needed the rest. Even if it wasn't as amazing as the other nights. It was something, and not nothing.

Your night seemed longer than it already had been. The clock read 10am. Jesus, who let you sleep that long?! James kept waking you at 6 or 7am to try and keep up a firm routine for you. It was his way of caring for you, everyone told you. Making sure you had a routine and it was kept to whenever possible. He couldn't tolerate any slacking. "It will be good for you my dear, get your mind working at full speed again."

Staring at the bright laptop screen, the black words on a white page burned into your retinas, occasional blinking didn't help anything. It's not like you were particularly ignoring James, no... Your brain just felt, vacant I suppose you could say. It felt so empty and crushed, like every pure word of genius had been squeezed out of you. Milked for all it was worth and now only dust remained. James noticed this, of course, but didn't want to suggest anything. You just looked, so perfect and pretty. Dull eyes lit up by the white screen, your brain working on overdrive to finish a section of Donovan's story. If it were possible, he would have had someone photograph that moment, so he could look at it and find pleasure in your uninhabited mind.

The clock ticked. You watched hours go by. What was wrong with you? Usually you weren't like this. You weren't so... Still and figure like. Maybe you needed fresh air. Yeah, that might do you some good.

Shutting the lid to your laptop, you stretched to make sure you weren't going to seize up or anything before walking out of the room. Yawning as you headed down the halls, stood in the elevator for what felt like forever, and eventually headed for the door. "Ah, they do know they're-"

"They shall find out in their own time. Perhaps not letting them know of their death will make them inspired."

She stared at James with indifference. A hint of annoyance. The pair watched you take a deep breath and walk out of the door. Yet, you met yourself with confusion as you appeared back in the room you were staying in. "What on.." muttered before you took the same route. There was absolutely no way you were dead. No, this was definitely part of a dream. A really... Long... Deep... Dream. The repetitive walls only became tedious to look at with every heavy footstep.

You had heard of one such incident before. An attempt to leave proving fruitless until the right person came along. But, then again, Michael Langdon was dead. He could not save you like he did Queenie. Fuck. You wished he could though. However, you continued the loop. Time had lost it's meaning again.

"FUCK!" Erupted from your room and James only chuckled. He had felt a certain amount of satisfaction roll through his body at your screams of curses. Oh you were so cute. The killer figured you should have some alone time before he came to visit you. How much time had passed since you woke up again? It felt like days when realistically it was a couple of hours.

It was only a nightmare to you because you had bills to pay and a day job to go to. You couldn't call up your boss and go "hey, yah I'm a ghost now in The Hotel Cortez so I can't come into work. Sorry!" That was an insane idea and would only get you fired. Alright. C'mon, you're smart. You can figure it out.

You went over in your head for hours upon hours. Figuring out someway to tell others you had died without actually telling them and scaring them. But, you got it eventually.

Leaving you room hesitantly, you walked the long, exact corridors of The Cortez until you found Liz up in her bar again. "Ah, our resident journalist, how are you?" She asked with a small smile, wiping the bar top down gently.

A moment. Though, you found your voice and asked a question. "Is anyone here, who isn't a guest, actually, y'know alive?"

"Hm. Maybe. On what basis?"

"I'm dead."

"Yep."

You swallowed. You were.. dead. As the fucking doornails. Liz's agreement was just your verbal confirmation from someone else. You resisted the urge to scream fuck again. "Shit...okay. I just, I need someone to tell my boss that I'm dead. I can't really fucking tell him myself! That'd be crazy!" Liz stared at you for a moment. Then nodded, letting out a breath of cigarette smoke she had somehow acquired. Whatever pretend breath you were holding, you let out. Smiling as you rested your head on your crossed arms. "Oh thank you Liz... Thank you so much."

Quickly, you placed down your phone and opened it up to the contacts. Scrolling until you found your boss' number, then pressing call, handing it to Liz. The conversation was brief but informative. "Yes? Are you the boss?" She mentioned who she was calling for then continued. "I am the unfortunate one who must tell you that your beloved employee has shuffled off this world. This mortal coil could not, handle their pure love and devotion." She made you sound like a sweet sugar doll, which also caused your face to heat up until it felt like it was burning. That couldn't've been further from the truth in your head. But at least you tried.

After a few unintelligible mumbles from the phone, Liz hung up and handed the phone back to you. "Done. He sounded like he was devastated." Definitely an exaggeration.

"oh yeah totally. I was definitely his favourite employee..." You were not. The young new employees who were fresh faced 17 years olds were his favourites. There was an obvious connection there which you didn't want to think much about. It was gross and caused those younger employees to always get promotions before you. Fuck that. If that was what was happening now? You were glad you were dead. But, there was another question in your head. "Where...where is my body?"

"Slid down a chute."

"Fucking hell."

"Quite."

You let out long, dragging, throaty sigh. What on earth was there to say? No one tells you what it's like to be dead.

...

Tell a lie they do. Plenty of souls did. 'Thats' what you were there for. Talking to the souls of the Hotel Cortez, bringing their stories to light so people knew what the hotel was capable of. What horrors and extremities the hotel held inside. Like James. James was a devil.

Pure black soul inside and out. Nothing redeemable. Nothing good. You were sure the only reason he was nice to you was because of some fucked up version of lust he felt for you. Lust that had to be contained for years upon years. That serial killer was a man of tastes divine. Tastes that were fucked up and inevitable.

"Lost in thought.." Liz hummed, bringing you out of your thoughts. Glancing up at her, your eyebrows furrowed. "Thinking about Mr. March.. He has kept you here for eternity." Her words spoke wisely, and it made you feel insane.

"His poems are insane, Liz! T-they're nothing but old tales with the names changed to fit me and him! It's insanity!"

"It's love."

"It's fucked up is what it is." You ended the conversation there, standing up and walking away. Back up to your room, where there was a piece of fucked up, old looking paper ontop of your laptop. There was another poem on it. Seemingly original.

My dear,

You are exquisite.

My work of art.

A piece untouchable.

The stories you tell,

exhilarating.

The public will flock.

See how much time and love there is,

in a tall tale such as my own.

I do not say much,

In the terms of affection.

If you stay in here, however,

Next to me,

There may be a word i shall tell.

Bare me your soul, hummingbird.

There will be nothing to keep us apart.

- James Patrick March

"...what the fuck..?" You muttered a question, reading the poem over and over again. It was, well it was perfect. It was somewhat sweet, and telling of his personality.

The nickname, hummingbird, definitely struck something in you. It was so, nice. That was the only word you could think of. Nice. Somewhat flattering coming from the man who you supposed was your murderer. "My dear, you seem, somewhat flustered by the poem I have left for you."

Looking up, you stared right into James' eyes. The silence before you answered felt tense. Harsh and scared as your eyes bore into his. They were so dark. Black boba pearls that barely shined. There was nothing to say back to him. You scoured your mind for a response as you gripped the paper. Maybe too hard, as you felt your fingers dig into your palm. The paper crumbling up.

James walked towards you, eyes trained on the worry and the slightest shake of your fingers. "I haven't written anything since I was a young man I admit," He started, finally breaking eye contact. His hand met yours, placing down the crumbled and broken paper on the table. "But I hope it has satisfied since you feel so, aloof to the poems I had given you before."

"James..." You looked up at him from the paper, lips slightly parted. "I'm dead."

"That you are." Those three words of agreement felt somewhat unnecessary. "But one who died so eloquently. I almost, feel envious you died so beautifully my darling." His hand trailed up your arm, standing behind you as he spoke. Feeling you, making sure you knew how close he was to you. Gods, you felt so perfect to him. He was so glad he killed you.

"that... Weight on my chest.." You started, taking in deep breaths as one hand roamed you.

"That weight was me my hummingbird." He nodded, head dipping down to your neck. Despite being dead too, he took a breath that felt like an inhale. What he was addicted to. Needed to be addicted to. You couldn't leave, but even when you were alive, he didn't want you to leave. The undead addiction he craved to feel once again. It was a craving he could not satiate.

"You satiate me," James muttered into your skin. Your lips stayed shut, and eyes closed. While you barely had a response, it didn't matter to James. All you needed was to understand why. Understand the scribbled nonsense on paper in front of you. Letting James take. But you weren't giving. Not really. You were just, standing there trying to make sense.

"James..." You breathed out, head falling back against his shoulder. He smiled and let one hand fall to rest on your waist. They were so delicate compared to the rest of what James was about. It felt so, wrong. However, they felt in the right place. They felt so right, being placed so softly on your chest and your waist. What on earth could you do about this?

Letting the touches sink into your body. The coldness freezing your body. It made you shiver. It would've felt better if the both of you were alive. Warmth pressing against warmth... But no, you were cold. He was colder. Cold as dry ice. After a while it felt right.

Your positioning was that of Christine and Erik's. His hands holding you close to his chest, your hand over his, the other one hovering over his shoulder.

You were Christine. Naive, needy and talented.

He was Erik. A teacher. Smart and full of wit.

A phantom.

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Taglist: @lacucarachapisser / @vi0l3tluvsu / @strawb3rrystar / @bohnerrific69 / @xrag-dollx / @r4fe-cam3ron / @pajaaa2005 / @saintlucretia / @taintandviolent / @phantommoondoll / @american-horror-whore

[strangelysamantha]

girl that you love pt 2 ❀

sarah cameron x fem!reader. kiara carrera x fem!reader.

warnings: alcohol consumption

words: 1,967.

summary: after humiliating yourself after your confession to sarah, you find yourself comforted by kiara.

request? yes!! highly recommended:)

a/n: love this blog if you enjoy! thank you for reading my story! <3 ik it’s been literally multiple years since i started posting, but i'm back now. send in requests!

my masterlist

part one!

—————————————-————————

after being completely embarrassed by sarah, you humbly went home. your mind was racing, you felt so dumb. you didn't mean to start anything, but the replaying image of disgust on her face when you admitted your feelings was nauseating. you couldn't bring yourself to leave your house, riddled with humiliation. the interaction with rafe twisting your stomach. he seemed so genuine, but if he knew the full story would he had treated you any differently? you couldn't think of either cameron sibling.

you were loafed out on your living room couch; you consumed time by engulfing yourself with tv. your friends had never watched you get so low, and it was worrying them. they wanted to help you, but they knew it was a sensitive topic.

kiara was the first one to confront you, she gave you a reality check. one you so desperately needed. she firmly knocks three times, waiting for you to let her in. you hesitate but ultimately walk to the door to let her in. she's shocked by your state. "are you doing, okay?" she asked you. you frown, "not really." you decided being transparent was the best way to get yourself out of this rut. she shakes her head, "you're letting her win, yknow that right?" she questions you. "what are you talking about?" she sighs. "sarah doesn't realize what she's missing out on? okay? you're a great friend. you're funny, sweet, and she isn't worth wasting your energy." you grimace at her words. "you need to get out. shower, get ready. i'm taking you somewhere, okay? trust me." you groan at her insistence. you knew it wasn't worth putting up a fight over. at the bottom of your heart, you knew she was right. you quickly pick out an outfit before heading to the showers.

kiara waits patiently on the couch, interested in the show you had on. you quickly shower and change, joining her in the living room. "what exactly are we going to do?" she gets excited. "we're going to have pope pick us up. we're going to party, drink, and dance until we can't think about any of our problems." you laugh with her, "okay fine." she quickly texts pope, while you sit down on the couch again.

the idea of the party made you extremely nervous. there was a high probably of sarah being there, and you weren't sure you were ready for a confrontation. it's like kiara can read your mind, "if she's there we will ignore her, i won't let her say anything to you. she doesn't deserve any conversation with you." you nod at her reassurance, the nerves fluttering away. you felt better with the fact your friends would be tagging along; they would easily get you out of any uncomfortable situations.

pope texts you two, signaling he's outside waiting. you guys head outside, hopping into the twinkie. pope and jj are the only ones inside. "next stop, the party!!!" jj boasts trying to lighten the mood, he cranks up the radio and pope drives to the beach quickly. you are stuck in conversation with your friends, you felt normal, safe. this was the best feeling, and it was definitely needed.

the twinkie halts, indicating you had arrived at the beach. the nerves come back quickly, but you knew liquor would make you distracted. jj leads the group to the alcohol, you immediately down a cup. kiara watches you closely, she knew exactly how you felt. she's actually been in the exact situation. she was focused on you, wanting to comfort you in any way that she could.

the party was actually a great distraction, you hadn't felt this free in days. unfortunately, you spotted sarah with john b. your heart stung at the pair, jealousy and resentment bubbling in your chest. immediately you turn, making distance from them. you began to rush with thoughts again, the alcohol being a great temporary distraction, but that’s all it was. temporary.

the sight of them made your head pound. the loud music only heightening the strain. you glance around eagerly, in hope of running into kiara, pope, even jj. the search for them came up short, you figured they were all on the other side of where sarah and john b were dancing. you walk down the sandy beach. just your luck, you discover rafe and some girl making out in the exclusive hidden area. your eyes revolt at the image, and you immediately walk past them trying to get some fresh air.

rafe was about to confront the person who interrupted his make out sesh, however when he realized it was you, he asked the girl he was kissing to go them more beer. she drunkenly obliged to his request, making her way to the cooler of beer.

you didn’t want to talk to him. you knew he had enough time to talk to sarah about the whole situation. you sprint to the twinkie, however it’s john b and sarah that you run into. of course. it was john bs vehicle after all. rafe was still chasing after you. out of the corner of your eye you see kiara. you’ve never felt so much relief wash over you in your life. you ignore anything they say, running to kiara. you pull her into a hug, and she happily accepts. “so much just happened. i wanna get outta here. can we go to yours?” you question. the party was too much, and you didnt want to see them. kiara nods, reaching in her phone to see if her dad could come grab you two.

sarah cameron watched you and kiara from afar. a frown on her lips. your arm is still finding comfort in kiaras touch, you wrapped your guys arms together, finding safety. you stared at kiara with sparkling eyes. she looks down at you smiling. "thank you for helping me through this. i honestly feel better." you're intrigued so you question her. "how'd you know what i needed?" she bites back a smile, "well, i've kinda been in the same situation." you nod at her words, and she continues, "last semester, i had a friend. you know wendy?" you sigh, "yeah i do, why?" she rushes with embarrassment at the memory. "well. we were studying at the library. we had done it every thursday, for months. then she started coming over, well i thought maybe she felt the same way." you frown, "but, i tried to confess my feelings for her, and she let me down gentler than sarah did to you, but she said she wasn't into girls." you gasp, "kiara! are you gay too!?" she giggles with excitement, "yeah!" you grin at her words, "im glad you told me." you confess. she looks away, "well i was going to tell you sooner, but i knew how you felt about sarah, and i guess a part of me thought she liked you back." you wait, "why would it matter if i liked sarah?" you ask her.

she hesitates like it's obvious, "because then you would know that i like you." your heart races at her honesty. you are caught off guard, but you immediately pull her into a hug. "i like you too kiara. i just stuffed the feelings down because i thought you wouldn't like me." her heart sinks, "wanna rekindle them?" she asks. you bite your lip; you place your hands on her hips. you pull her closer to you, reaching in for a kiss. she happily kisses back, her hands wrapping around your neck. you two continue to kiss, but the cherishing moment unfortunately is interrupted by kiaras phone. she pulls it out and answers her dads call. "sorry, were close to the parking lot. we're walking there now." she listens to his response before saying thank you and hanging up. "my dad is here, let's get out of here." you laugh, "sounds good to me." the two of you head to the parking lot, meeting kiaras dad. you two hop into the back seat and start the drive.

sarah b watches your little romance spark. her heart sinks just by the sight of your clinginess with kiara. john b is talking to jj about kiara and you but sarah doesn't listen, her mind was racing with thoughts. rafe walked up to sarah, seeing the whole event unfold. "guess her crushes don't last long." she scoffs. rafe is confused by her frustration. "you were the one who let her down? remember? you told her no. why are you so pissed?" sarah rolls her eyes. "it's just the principle." rafe holds back his laugh, "oh i'm sure that's the reason." sarah storms off, walking back to the beaches shore. she sinks her feet into the sand, letting the water rush over her feet. the scenery helping her ease her mind. rafes words got to her. why was she so mad? she denied you, it's her fault you two don't talk anymore. sarah sighed, unable to dissect her true feelings.

john b, glanced around for sarah, rushing straight to the shore in search for her. unsurprisingly, she was there, sat on the sand, letting the waves crash over her legs. "what's wrong sarah?" john b looks around, seeing the party had dispersed. the sun had gone down almost completely, the black stars and moon shining. sarah sighs. "i'm not even sure." is all she can muster out. he's confused, "are you mad about kiara?" she groans at the sound of her name. "why would i care john b?" he shrugs, "well you won't tell me what the actual problem is, so i'm sorry for assuming." she shakes her head, "i need to get home. can you take me?" he nods, "of course." he reaches her his hand to help her get up, she ignored it and got up by herself. she sluggishly made it back to the twinkie. she frowns leaning her head on the car's headrest. john b drops sarah off at her house, she quickly gives him a thank you, hopping out of the car. heading inside her home, she jumps into bed. annoyance and confusion clouding her mind. she changed into pajamas, going straight to bed.

back at kiaras place, you and kiara had ate some snacks, and were now sitting on her bed cuddling. you two were talking about the first time you realized you had feelings for each other. you went first. "well it was when jj introduced us. you were wearing black shorts, and a crop top. your hair was perfect, and you had a huge smile on your face. you looked so pretty, and carefree. i thought you were so cool. after hearing about your passions, and interest, i was so entranced by you." kiara listens intently, blushing at your words. "i first liked you after the first time we hung out for the first time alone, without jj, or pope. we never really got to hang out like that." you laugh agreeing, "but we finally did it, and how i felt for you changed. i felt authentically myself. i didn't feel that around our other friends. i knew we'd be good friends, obviously. but then i started getting the urge to kiss you. and every time we were in public i wanted to reach for your hand." you grab her chin and lean in for a kiss. kiara kisses back, her hands reaching for yours. she pulls away. "will you be my girlfriend?" you kiss her again, "yes! i would love to be your girlfriend kiara." you guys' kiss once more. "wanna watch a movie?" you ask. she hands you the remote. "yes but don't get upset if i fall asleep, you make me feel cozy." she stands up to turn the lights off. "okay i promise, i wont."

[1moreff-creator]

Extra DRDT CH2 Episode 12 Thoughts

Heya! After making my last post where I just live-blogged my immediate reaction to the episode, I had a few more thoughts that I figured I should write down somewhere. They’re all too small for their own posts, but I still think they’re worth sharing.

Spoilers for CH2 EP12

CW: Murder, hanging, suicide.

The Water Thing

This episode brought up two interesting points which had rarely, if ever, been discussed within the fandom: Arei’s body swinging, and her body temperature and its connection to water. And while I’m relatively sure I saw one or two people mention the swinging at some point, the temperature issue is certainly a new one.

The swinging was explained in the trial: Arei’s body was hung shortly before it was found. But J says something interesting; the corpse should have been warm, unless it was drenched in water and dried. Paraphrasing a bit, but you get the point.

However, I actually don’t think this is a big deal, just adds a slight addendum to previous murder theories. We know the killer dumped the fish in the playground to confuse time of death, so I believe the killer likely splashed Arei with the water to cool her down. This is assuming they even thought about the body temperature, but I don’t think this is a large assumption to make.

I have seen people claim that Arei’s hair looks somewhat wet in the BDA, which… maybe? Anyways, this idea would explain that as well.

This might even give us Possible Explanation Number I Lost Count for the damn missing glove. Maybe it got particularly wet and the culprit worried it wouldn’t dry quickly enough? If people discovered a dripping wet bowling glove, the whole “using fish to confuse the time of death” thing would kinda go straight out the window. I have no idea if that makes any amount of sense, I don’t see why the glove would dry any slower than the rest of her clothes, but oh well.

Arturo’s Talent, and his Recap Foil: Levi

(Here’s the link to the original Recap Foil Theory post by gleamingtempest, in case you don’t know what I’m talking about).

Kinda forgot this was a thing when first watching the episode, but now looking back on it, there’s some neat foiling going on. Levi and Arturo’s backstory already were somewhat opposites in some aspects: Arturo got away from home himself while Levi was disowned, though Levi seems to hold a higher degree of respect for his family in comparison to Arturo. Levi is (now confirmed!) a murderer with no remorse, while Arturo accidentally caused Felicity’s death to some extent and clearly feels guilty about it. Etcetera.

Well, we can add a new detail to this foil! Arturo’s been training his talent since he was twelve, while Levi has admitted since introduction that he’s “a novice to fashion.” Neat detail, and certainly adds to this theory.

Terumin VS Xanvid

Thanks to Haru for pointing this out, but Teruko’s “I’ll fix my mistake” echoes Min’s “I’ll fix your mistake” from her Argument Armament. As I mentioned in the linked post, it’s cool that Teruko is taking a sort of Min-like attitude to her mistakes while calling Xander out, while David is taking Xander’s side in the same trial he calls Min pathetic. Foils and all that.

(Doomed Yuri V Doomed Yaoi, fight!)

This makes me hopeful that Min will still have some importance later. But I’m probably just coping.

What Was David Cooking?

I am kinda sick of talking about this man, frankly. I blame the almost three hour video I made on his MV. But oh well, he’ll stop being center focus soon enough. For now, His Deal is still one of the most central aspects of the episodes, so discuss him I will.

There are two big points of contention with what he said this trial. First, what does he remember about Xander? Second, what was he actually trying to do by pretending to be Arei’s murderer?

The first is pretty simple to assume, I think. David remembers whatever Xander did to become the Ultimate Rebel, and respects him as a result. Especially since Xander’s numeral I in LGI, the Footnote 14 code solved by y-prime, is “I have always looked up to you.”

I don’t think David has Hope’s Peak memories, despite his weird wording with “even if you all lost a year of memories.” He specifically says he and Xander had never met in his Prologue introduction, before they had any real reason to believe they’d lost memories. The LGI video also doesn’t add anything, because… well, it’s not a Milgram MV. It doesn’t come from his memories, it exists purely in meta. This is evident from the comments referencing Byakuya, Nagito and Kokichi, characters these people should have no knowledge of as Veronika claims not to remember anything like the DRDT killing game happening before; certain references to conversations and details David shouldn’t be aware of (mainly in numeral placement), etc.

(While I was writing that, the dev seemingly clarified that David does not have Hope’s Peak memories, then deleted the tweet, so. Just in case, there’s the full reasoning)

The second one is trickier. David is following Xander’s ideals, but that’s all we know. We don’t have a concrete idea of what Xander’s ideals really were, and it’s even harder to know what David thinks Xander’s ideals were.

David: I’m sure he had a good reason. I believe that he did. Xander is not the kind of person to do anything for frivolous purposes.

He believes Xander had a good reason for trying to kill Teruko, he says he’s sure of it, but he never implies to know exactly what the reason was. And if he doesn’t know the exact reason, he can’t for sure say what ideal Xander was upholding by doing what he did.

But, he knows what Xander was trying to do; kill everyone. Because if it was just Teruko, he wouldn’t have tried to mislead people with the CD thing. Although, Xander was following that one note that said to “kill Teruko Tawaki,” so it could potentially be targeted.

So, taking credit for Arei’s murder to try and kill everyone is because Xander tried to do something similar. But the deeper reason he gave, about the nature of the killing game, is it true?

(Apologies in advance for the particularly horrible collage. I am without a reliable computer atm)

David [Annoyed]: Ugh, fucking fine. You want an answer so badly? Any answer?

[Face covered] …

I…

[Sweating] Ah… We’re… in a television show, after all. That’s… what MonoTV said, right?

“Entertainment” is an ongoing show.

If Min successfully got away with the very first murder and escaped while we all died, isn’t that way less interesting for a TV show?

What’s the point of roping 14 other people into one murder, only to kill them all off immediately?

The killer is supposed to fail and get executed. We’re all supposed to catch the killer, again and again, and participate in trial after trail. You’re *supposed* to try to survive.

All of you, who are trying to slice these class trials to continue living on are playing straight into MonoTV’s hands.

[Confident] As if I’ll accept that.

I don’t care how low I’ll sink, or how despicable I’ll have to become. I’ll do anything to carry on Xander’s ideals by ending this killing game, even if it means that I have to dirty my hands.

Oh, this man is lying out his ass.

This is not an answer you hesitate over if it’s true. The words David is saying are neutral; the show is meant for entertainment, and it’s not entertaining if people die early. There’s no controversy there, no reason to be nervous. Especially since Eden’s already come to the same conclusion.

Veronika: You know, Eden once thought of an interesting plan to end the killing game. Based on everything we know, it could theoretically work.

[…]

To make a television show so boring they have no choice but to shut it down.

All we have to do is nothing.

You’re not supposed to be sweating when you’re effectively repeating something Eden said, even if under a different context.

First, David says he’ll give “any answer”, already making anything he says shady. Then, he seems to deliberate on what to say, which is already suspicious.

The most notable thing is that when he starts talking about the TV show, and what it means for it to be entertaining, he still hesitates. If his plan really was to make the TV show boring, once he decides to spill the beans, there’s nothing to hesitate about.

He only regains his confidence at the end, ironically when he’s saying the actually insane stuff. He finally finds the character he was trying to play and actually says something true; he wants to uphold Xander’s ideals and end the killing game. But I really don’t think it’s because he wants to make it boring.

In other words, he’s not lying about wanting to follow Xander and end the killing game, but his explanation about the entertainment has nothing to do with that. It’s way too simple of an explanation for the amount he hesitates. At least, that’s what I think, I may be wrong.

That brings us to the question; if he didn’t take the blame to make the game boring, why did he do it?

Well, currently and without too much confidence, I believe it has to do with Xander’s secondary goal; killing Teruko Tawaki.

One of the most well-accepted theories in the community is that David’s secret, “everything in your life is worth killing over [and] the killing game is all your fault,” isn’t Xander’s, but Teruko’s.

(In fact, side theory: I’m betting (on little evidence) that by the end of the trial, it will be David with his fanboy knowledge to point out that the “survivor’s guilt” secret that Min “received” was actually Xander’s, and reveal by process of elimination (since it’s likely going to be revealed in the trial that Hu has Veronika’s secret and Veronika has Hu’s, assuming those theories are true) that Min has the poison secret. It’s a bit of a wild prediction, but I think it’s a reasonable possibility to how the series would go about confirming the secrets of the dead)

That, combined with the fact that Xander followed a note that told him to kill Teruko, would certainly be enough for David to decide that Teruko’s gotta die. And killing everyone in the class trial is probably the best way to ensure that happens, since David probably doesn’t hunk attacking her directly is a good idea. If Xander, physically the strongest student in the cast, couldn’t get past Teruko’s luck, what the hell is David supposed to do? Especially now that she carries a knife, though I’m not sure David knows that.

It’s not even that out of nowhere; in the LGI video, Teruko’s numeral XIII appears next to a quote regarding the child of Omelas among other things. Very long story (skip to 1:22:22 in this video for the full explanation), but the child of Omelas is someone who must suffer so everyone else can live in a perfect world. It’s possible David thinks of Teruko, for one reason or another, as the Omelas child; she’s gotta die so everyone can be happy. She is someone “deeply unloved” after all.

Now, is this a stretch? Certainly. But I don’t think David’s telling the truth about his motivations, and I think this is one of the more likely options as to what exactly he was cooking here. I’m sure there’s better explanations out there, I just haven’t seen them :v

David VS Whit

I kinda skipped over the “Red Herring pun to David Freakout” line at first, but I think it’s pretty interesting that David gets so mad at Whit’s behavior. They are Recap Foils, so it makes sense they’d have strong emotions towards each other.

In particular, I’d like to point out how David gets mad at Whit for something similar to what he does as a motivational speaker.

I mentioned it in the previously mentioned section of my LGI analysis, but I believe part of the reason David hates Teruko is that he sees himself in her (pessimistic, thinks the world won’t change, etc), and this would be the other side of that. David constantly says things he doesn’t believe to make people happy, and he considers that to be pretty stupid, so it makes sense for him to get frustrated when seeing Whit doing something similar, trying to raise spirits by telling jokes. Looking at Whit is sorta like looking in a mirror, and David hates that. The mirror in LGI is labeled “reflection is due” for a reason.

I’m not fully sure this works 100%, but I think it’s at least worth considering.

Updates on Eden!Culprit Levi!Accomplice

In case you’re new here, here’s a link to my post detailing the Eden!Culprit Levi!Accomplice theory, which I came up with alongside some other theorists, and is what I currently believe the murder to be. My thoughts on possible character motivation and the such have shifted a bit since then, but the important part is the physical evidence. In particular, the combination of Lockdown Logic to determine Eden most likely took the tape from the gym and the Fish Timeline to determine someone else must have helped her get the fish, combined with the overly complicated murder method which I describe in detail, leads me to believe Eden is the blackened, and Levi helped her kill Arei.

I’m not going to talk about other theories, I’ll let the dedicated theorists perfect them with the new evidence in their own time. But, how does this theory change?

On the surface, uh, not much. We haven’t talked method much, after all.

(Side note, I know some people are bothered by how long that’s taking, and while I kinda get it, I’m not bothered by it. We’re in no rush; I prefer it if all the character conflict is addressed at some point, even if it delays talking about the actual method. Better than it going unaddressed, after all)

The only change is adding that they splashed Arei with water to hide her body temperature, but as discussed, that’s a minor change.

The big wrench thrown into this theory is the end, because… I’ll be honest, dear audience, I have no clue what Levi’s cooking here. Like, at all. Zero read on why he’s revealing his secret. I could try to speculate, but I can’t find any fully satisfactory answer even outside the Levi!Accomplice theory. Nothing makes sense to me, so I’ll just wait for the next episode before trying to read into it.

There is one unrelated thing I want to bring up, though, and it’s related to Levi’s possible motivation. I know this is one of the biggest sticking points in the theory (obviously), so I’d like to talk about it.

As a refresher: although alternate ideas have been offered, my current guess is that it has to do with his desire to be a good person, and the fact he considers Eden a good person. Cue the whole “A Good Person” hidden title behind “All That Glitters.”

Levi: Perhaps I messed up yesterday. But I want to move on. I want to keep trying to become ‘a good person,’ like you, Eden.

The idea goes like this. Levi thinks Eden is good, and so he wants to do good by her. Based on the secret quote in the code of his character page, we can tell he prefers to speak through actions. He’s a bold action man, and that can cause him to come off as heartless.

Levi: I always believed that a person is defined by their actions alone. But maybe that’s just a poor excuse for my heartlessness.

My personal theory (again, other Levi motives are possible) assumes that Levi believes someone will win the killing game eventually (and this is an assumption, I won’t deny it), and if only one persona can escape, he’d rather it be Eden than anyone else. Again, “good person.” Levi will die, sure, but unless he becomes a blackened himself, he’s going to die regardless whenever someone gets away with murder.

Now, this isn’t anything drastically different than what I said in the theory post, so why am I bringing it up?

Well, the thing is… Doing something horrible, throwing away your own life and those of most of your peers, all for the sake of the one you’ve deemed to be “a good person”…

Now where have I heard that before?

David: But doing “good” things requires sacrifice. Sometimes that sacrifice is being seen as a good person.

Even if doing something makes you hated, if that action is for a greater good, then it’s an action you have to take.

Xander is a good person. He’s the only good person I’ve ever known. I swear, I’ll follow in his footsteps and—

Huh. Funny how that works.

My point is that not only is “doing good by the only good person here” now a pre-established line of reasoning these characters can have, Levi doing such a thing for Eden would be a very interesting parallel to what David tried to do for Xander.

This isn’t evidence, to be clear. Just because one guy does it, doesn’t mean a completely unrelated dude is gonna do it too. But I’m calling it now as a potentially interesting parallel to explore, either in canon if I’m right or, like, an AU if I’m wrong :v

That said, I will point out that Hu’s capital G Girlboss Moment is directly after this, the one where she chews David out for deciding what’s best for all of them without consultation. And a little bit afterwards, Levi starts acting weird, apologizing for being useless, revealing his secret, etc. These two things could be connected, if Levi is, like, having second thoughts after that.

I could see a world where Levi’s trying to bring the conversation towards the right answer without fully committing to it, only for something or someone to somehow convince him back to accomplice-hood middway through it. I find that immensely unlikely, to be clear, but again, I genuinely have no idea what Levi’s trying to do right now, so.

All in all, a pretty neutral episode for this theory. Next one could completely break it, though, so I’m excited. I might have to come up with new theories! >:D

God I missed DRDT. And the only drawback of coming back is re-opening LGI trauma :D /silly

Anyways, thanks for reading! See you on the flipside!

[twopoppies]

This isn’t really a question, more of a comment, and I consider your blog a safe space to share it: It seems like there’s a consensus in some part of the fandom about Harry, where people assume he was planning his solo career since 2013, that he betrayed the other boys, and that being ‘the chosen one’ by Sony, the Azoffs, and everyone around him has made his life easier. Because of that, people think he doesn’t deserve any sympathy and that he’s to blame for everything. I used to think this way at one point, too.

Now that I’m back, looking at things in retrospect and trying to understand a few other things, I realize how limited (and I’d say harmful) that perspective is. Here, I’ll add a disclaimer: I’m not denying that Harry had an advantage over the others, or that he made mistakes, etc. I’m just trying to understand things better within the context they happened in.

So, it’s 2010, Harry starts in the industry at 16, and from the start it’s clear he’s a pretty domestic, naive, quirky, friendly person with a big heart. And on top of that, he’s physically attractive. Put all those traits together, and you’ve got the perfect target, your moneymaker. You’ve got this young teenager who’s perfect to draw in a huge female audience. So, what do I do as a smart and evil businessman? I decide to milk him for all he’s worth and make more and more money from my new asset.

Now fast forward to late 2012-early 2013. You’ve got a closeted Harry, clearly sad and exhausted from not being able to love and live freely, and from the workload. Then he meets Jeff. What does he do as the son of one of the most successful managers in the industry? He applies what he's learned, sees the potential in this kid, and offers him what he wants most—not just money and more fame, but something way more valuable: freedom.

Add to that, apparently, everyone wants to be your friend because you’re the new hot thing, everyone ‘advises’ you, everyone wants something from you. But most of all, you have a lot of people whispering in your ear about what to do or not to do, and you don’t know who to trust, so you trust those who, even though they’ve asked for something in return, have given you protection and promised you freedom. Those who make you feel safe and have protected your relationship.

Suddenly, you’re in the media more and more, meeting really interesting famous people, but at the same time, the closet gets tighter, the physical separations get longer, and everything becomes unbearable. You just want to be at peace with your boyfriend and make music. And you can’t take it anymore. And then, there are probably other, much more personal things he was dealing with.

What I’m trying to say with all this is that just because Harry was ‘the chosen one’ from the start doesn’t mean he had the best time of his life while watching his bandmates suffer. Just because he has a smile on his face most of the time doesn’t mean we know what he’s feeling. We don’t know him personally.

I know Harry’s in a different and better situation now than when he started. I know he has more control over some things (or at least I hope he does), and I think that’s because he learned from what happened in the band. He literally said he only started processing a lot of things from that time in 2020-2021.

To wrap this up, I just want to say they were all really young when they started, and I can’t even imagine what else they went through. I'm 24 and I still don't know how to deal with a lot of things. I’m just tired of people comparing their suffering and judging based on that.

I know exactly who you’re talking about with that framing of Harry’s story. The person who started it is a bitter ex-larrie and it’s such nonsense (as you very clearly lay out) but they’ve amassed a big following and that side of the fandom has festered into a nasty cauldron of hate.

Harry’s ability to make everything look easy, and to appear as though he’s weathered his trauma without any lasting damage, makes him a target to people who are angry at the level of critical/financial success he’s had.

Instead of just accepting that he was given more opportunities because people in power saw more potential to make money off of him (for whatever host of reasons), and he had the talent and drive to run with it instead of being crushed by it, they’d prefer to paint a ridiculous story about him being evil, corrupt, talentless, and unsupportive of his bandmates.

Oh, and also, anything good ever said him is due to NDAs and Jeff buying articles praising him. 🙄

[dinarosie]

hi i am actually very interested in the fact that you are "anti-marauders" because i have a strong feeling you've never actually had a conversation with a (real, not tik-tokified) marauders fan. i don't particularly "hate" snape, but i do NOT think he's a good person. i have a lot of similar nuanced feeling pertaining to peter, and i will admit that james and sirius are often childish and did bully snape. i've decided to reread half-blood prince, and rewatch the movie, so i can have a real conversation of my opinion on snape, and i will send in another ask later.

also, sectumsemprus (is that it?) is his SIGNATURE spell- for reference, voldemort's signature spell is avada kedavra, and harry's is probably expelliarmus. do you know how many times you have to use a spell for it to become your signature spell?

Hi there! Thanks for reaching out.

First, I want to clarify that I use anti-Marauders tags not because I created this blog solely to spread hate against them or to harass their fans, but because it’s a general Tumblr rule. For nearly any post criticizing a character, you’re expected to use anti tags, as fans of that character might not want to see critical posts about their favorite. This ensures fans who may not want to see criticism of their favorite characters can filter or avoid it if they choose.

Now, you mentioned that I probably haven’t talked to a “real” Marauders fan, which is why I have anti-Marauders posts. But honestly, I don’t think all fans of the Marauders share the same views, nor is it possible to talk to every fan before making a post. I see a lot of anti-Snape content daily—much of it from Marauders fans—and often get an idea for a post that I decide to share. I imagine most bloggers do this; it’s part of engaging with fandoms online. I try to offer thoughtful critiques when possible, but that does take time. Sometimes, seeing particularly harsh, illogical, or double-standard comments pushes me to post a short, sarcastic response—one that mirrors the style of some of the content I encounter.

Overall, I wouldn’t call myself “anti All of Marauder fans.” Yes, I use terms like “Marauders fans” and “anti-Marauders” tags, but my issue is only with fans who unreasonably hate Snape and mock him (even for things like his background) or who attack Snape supporters, labeling them with hurtful terms simply for supporting him. Outside of those specific cases, I have no problem with other fans.

As for your question about Sectumsempra, I understand you’re suggesting it became Snape’s “signature” spell through frequent, harmful use. I looked up the reference you mentioned, and here’s the passage from Deathly Hallows where Lupin speaks of Sectumsempra:

“He lost his hood during the chase. Sectumsempra was always a specialty of Snape’s. I wish I could say I’d paid him back in kind, but it was all I could do to keep George on the broom after he was injured, he was losing so much blood.”

It’s worth noting the term Lupin uses here: specialty, not signature. Sectumsempra first appears in Half-Blood Prince as an unknown spell by an unnamed creator. After Harry uses it on Malfoy, it’s still an unfamiliar spell until Snape admits to creating it at the end of the book. But in Deathly Hallows, right after the Battle of the Seven Potters, Sectumsempra becomes widely associated with Snape (via Lupin’s words).

While in Half-Blood Prince the goal is to keep the creator of this spell anonymous, in Deathly Hallows it’s crucial to know exactly who used Sectumsempra during the Battle of the Seven Potters. The inconsistency here seems intentional. The author isn’t referencing Sectumsempra’s notoriety here to highlight Snape’s past; rather, I believe she brings it up as an important clue about the future. This clue gains significance after we view Snape’s memories, especially after reading Dumbledore’s line to him just before the Battle of the Seven Potters:

And Severus, if you are forced to take part in the chase, be sure to act your part convincingly… I am counting upon you to remain in Lord Voldemort’s good books as long as possible, or Hogwarts will be left to the mercy of the Carrows..."

But in THE PRINCE’S TALE, we see that Snape defies Dumbledore’s advice—he steps out of his role as a Death Eater and targets another Death Eater with a spell that’s highly conspicuous, one that could jeopardize his cover. (If successful, and had it hit another Death Eater, they would have immediately recognized the spell as Snape’s own.) So why would Snape make such an irrational choice? Why take such a risk? To save the life of Remus Lupin.

This scene is one of many that show Snape’s growth and commitment to doing the right thing—not out of loyalty to Lily, not for Dumbledore, nor for any personal reward.( And that's exactly why, in the chapter where Snape's true loyalty and the real story behind him are finally revealed, this spell and its backstory are brought up.) As he admitted in his iconic line to Dumbledore, he had grown weary of watching lives be lost when he had the power to save them. Whether it’s an old bully, Lucius and Narcissa’s son, or James and Lily’s, Snape steps in without hesitation to protect a life—even if it endangers his own

Another reason I don’t believe the author’s aim here is to highlight Snape’s crimes as a Death Eater is that there are numerous scenes throughout the series discussing Snape’s actions during that time. Yet, we never see any indication or hint from the author that Snape committed serious harm or atrocities while serving as a Death Eater. In fact, in his argument with Bellatrix, it’s mentioned that Snape actively tried to avoid participating in missions. During his planning conversations with Dumbledore, we’re also told that his soul has never been tainted by murder. And in Karkaroff’s trial, there’s no crime or accusation he can use against Snape.

[oncasette]

𝟯.𝟱𝗸 𝗥𝗘𝗖 𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧

hi everyone! i recently hit 3.5k on here and wanted to do something as a major thank you! so, in honor of the occasion, here's a much overdo fic and blog rec list!

BALDUR'S GATE III

@libbybee — i live for their astarion fics! i live for astarion either way, but i adore the way they write him!! writes for both ascended! and spawn! which is nice because i love to engage with both sides of his character.

oh, you're hard to please by @ghost-proofbaby (astarion)

alleyway affairs by @ladylarynn (astarion)

LOVE AND DEEPSPACE

@strwberri-milk — i'm so obsessed with their work and the way they write the boys (especially zayne)! such a good place to start if you're starting to delve into love and deepspace but don't know what you want to read first! also my favorite blog to stop by if i have just a little bit of time to kill and want some yummy goodness

@sylusdoll — absolutely looooooveeee their fics and everything they post. helps me get a little dose of the lads boys when i've farmed just about all i can farm in game :)

rafayel proving how beautiful you are by @astridthevalkyrie (rafayel)

what's mine by @aeyumicore (zayne)

better than the devil by @syluss-littlecrow (sylus)

a rising sun by @boobearymuch (sylus)

PETER PARKER

@webslingingslasher — writes peter parker like actually no other. the emotional damage that this blog has put me through should be STUDIED. i'm not even kidding in the slightest saying that i've laughed, cried, felt tiny, aching chest pains reading their work. you have to have to have to check them out.

nerdy!peter and video games by @webslingingslasher

something in the orange by @webslingingslasher

'is that blood?' by @bcyhoods

movies with peter by @thyme-in-a-bubble

TED LASSO

@its-time-to-write — some of the best fiction i've read in my life. nothing can compare to the way i felt last summer reading everything about jamie tartt that i could get my hands on and discovering their fics! a must read for jamie readers.

i can see you by @rqgnarok (jamie tartt)

touch deprived by @its-time-to-write (jamie tartt)

bored by @its-time-to-write (jamie tartt)

it was simple, it was sweetness, it was good to know by @beybaldes (roy kent)

TOP GUN

@gretagerwigsmuse — writes for bradley bradshaw so exquisitely and deliciously, and also has some of the best recs that they reblog

start of a silver fox by @topherwrites (jake seresin)

hey, neighbour! by @sunlightmurdock (jake seresin)

MISC.

@youvebeenlivingfictional — some of my absolute favorite fics i've read on this site! so many different fandoms that i dip my toes into, but i first discovered their blog because of their harvey specter fics! either way, definitely worth a read or few!!!

@dixonsbrat — their fics evoke a really lovely sense of warmth within me! also write for a whole bunch of different characters, namely stranger things and outer banks (but also my lovely lovely astarion)

@thyme-in-a-bubble — again, writes for sooo many of my blorbos! i absolutely adore their fluffier fics, but also gets down and dirty with some of the nastiest smut i've read. love them and their blog vibes so so much!

@ohcaptains — everyone's probably SICK of hearing me talk about their blog, but i will never shut up about them actually. i will read for fandoms i've never been interested in or, honestly, ever heard of just because i love the way they write soooo much

@bruisedboys — i love love love them and the way they write for their characters!! always a blog i can go to if i know i need a good fixing of one of my pookies

@anqeliclust — one of the sweetest blogs i’ve met on my time on here!! always so lovely to talk to and i adore everything they post!

@dameronscopilot — one of the first blogs i fell in loooovvvveee with. there’s fics that they’ve posted that i read years ago when i started my blog and i still think about them to this day

@ladylannisterxo — always seems to be right on track with whatever my hyperfixation may be!! i love interacting with them and seeing them on my dash!!

warmer than a comforter by @evieelyzabethh (spike btvs)

[guywrestlingaddiction]

What Turned me Gay: The first BGeast match I purchased - Troy & Brian Baker v Vinny Trevino & Joshua Goodman (bgeast.com)

It's no secret that Bgeast turned me gay. The combination of hot men in compromising situations, muscles straining, humiliating holds; all summed up to ignite something inside of me.  Now while all of that is worth a post in itself, I wanted to devote this time to rekindle a memory specifically about the first Bgeast match I watched, Tag Team Torture 3.  

What turned me gay (not really) ... 

Troy & Brian Baker v Vinny Trevino & Joshua Goodman (bgeast.com)

This post, inspired by the sidelineland.com blog, takes a tongue and cheek look into "what made me gay (not really)" and in thinking about the topic of gay wrestling, it's helpful to go back to the beginning - at least my beginning as a gay wrestling fan.

The Background Now, when I first viewed Tag Team Torture 3, I had no idea what to expect.  Sure I had watched porn before, but the default for porn back then (and now) was a cheesy few minutes of story line followed by emotionless hard core action.  In those scenes the guys refused eye contact with each other, closed their eyes, and probably thought of their girlfriends or something while they did the deed so in a very big way, bgeast was different.  

Baker and Baker - two reasons why I purchased this match.  Beefier Brian and Tasty Troy. 

In hindsight, I love the Backstreet Boy Look on Mr. Joshua.  This was a very popular look back then - Highlights and a Soul Patch.

And boy was Tag Team Torture 3 different, from the opening scene I realized that the focus was on the wrestling and everything, from the guys lifting weights, to the trash talk; all of this led up to struggle between men.  

Troy and Brian bonding before the match.  They build each other up saying stuff in the tone of 'you're the best, no you're the best'.  They support and encourage each other ... at least for now. 

Compare that to the other team, bragging about how much they can bench or talking shit about their opponents the "beach boys".  There's no building anyone up here, simply tearing the pretty boys down.  

In lieu of porn which hurried to climax and rushed to "get the job done", gay wrestling highlighted the emotions exchanged between our guys and what is sex really except a bundle of intense emotions.  

The Action Finally, 20 minutes in the guys start to wrestle.  I told you that gay wrestling takes it's time and slowly savors each and every popping bicep and ab and now we have the Troy Baker reveal and boy was it worth the wait...

Troy knows what we're all here for. 

And later, Troy swooning over himself.  The man and I are on the same wave length when it comes to admiring that body. 

But all that muscle just begs to be abused. 

Brian Baker is the powerhouse but he can't fight off two men by himself and it's clear that Troy is more interested in himself than on the match.  

Mr. Joshua multitasking by dominating and making his infamous "adjustment".  I love how the back of his hand goes straight from his package to smacking Brian on the back of his head.

Brian: [exasperated]: Lookout Troy!

Vinny: You like that surfer boy?  Troy: *Moan*

The Finale At this point our heroes are done for.  All that camaraderie, the hours at the gym spent sculpting those muscles, all of that vanishes and we are left with a beaten Troy Baker.  

To further the point, our heels double team the helpless Troy while his brother watches on.  Further emphasizing that there is no coming back from this one.  

Troy's abs of steel are put to the test with yet another barrage of abuse.  That golden tan is starting to turn a shade of pink as even those abs of steel have their limits.  

But the real crescendo for this match comes at the end.  When Brian seems to triumph despite the odds and an upset looks possible, that is until a weakened Troy folds under our heels.  It's that moment followed by a betrayal when our gay wrestling saga is complete and the Baker Brothers are finally broken with sound and fury. 

In hindsight it's obvious to see why gay wrestling sucked me in and became my obsession.  I've always loved the emotional highs when I wrestled in high school and bgeast perfectly captured those stories of struggle and dominance multiplied by like 1,000.   You see this story, told through sweat and humiliation is so vivid, so real, that the feelings I get now from watching a 20 year old tag team match are the same as when I first saw them and  is undoubtedly what turned me gay (not really).

[darcytaylor]

Nicola Coughlan Bet on Herself - and Won (Time Article)

What a great read! Nicola's TIME interview offers a glimpse into her journey from struggling actress to Bridgerton star, while also talking about how she handles the pressures of fame. From her views on the double standards in Hollywood to the ongoing speculation about her personal life.

Nicola is very candid about the pressures that come with fame. While she’s grateful for the opportunities Bridgerton has afforded her, she speaks openly about the uncomfortable scrutiny she faces. The public obsession with every detail of her life, including her weight, is something she calls out in the interview.

This interview also came before her statement about not filming strangers in public (although it is a possibility that they added this to the interview afterwards), when her location was leaked and she was filmed leaving a theatre. The incident prompted her to make a story about in on her Instagram.

It’s a reminder that her boundaries probably weren’t newly formed - they were already in place, and the incident in New York likely pushed her to call it out publicly.

Some have questioned why Nicola responded to that particular incident and not others. But as I’ve written about before on my blog, the specific circumstances in New York - her location being leaked - likely made her feel particularly vulnerable and triggered her decision to speak out.

Another layer that I think could be worth mentioning about Nicola speaking on the leaking of real-time locations, is the issue that Luke had over the summer with his friend group sharing his location in real-time. While Nicola doesn’t directly address that, it’s possible that witnessing how this played out could have contributed to her sensitivity regarding location leaks. Even if she wasn't directly referring to that particular incident, it's likely she felt strongly about it.

One of the most talked about moments in this article is when she discusses her relationship with Luke. I found it hilarious how she worded everything. She praises her “gorgeous friendship” with Luke but strategically avoids confirming or denying any romantic involvement. While she acknowledges their close bond, she sidesteps the dating rumours, offering just enough insight to keep fans interested without revealing too much. This is classic Nicola – it leaves fans room to speculate, but it also reinforces that a deep connection between a man and woman doesn’t always have to be romantic.

(So, my Lukola shipper followers, feel free to keep guessing - Nicola’s phrasing suggests she doesn’t mind the speculation!)

Another part of Nicola’s story, is the influence of her late father. He helped shape her worldview, giving her a perspective on why it's important to speak out. And why she speaks out about the causes she does.

Although Nicola hasn’t explicitly linked the passing of her father to her views on privacy, it’s possible that such a personal loss has influenced her approach to life, family, and relationships. Losing someone so close might have made her more protective of the people she holds dear and more determined to set firm boundaries when it comes to her personal life.

I loved this article and also the photographs that came along with it! Also - The duo have more intimate moments in Season 4 and will also have something else to manage: Polin’s “crazy cute” onscreen baby. YES!!! Bring on season 4 married Polin!

[unknowntoyou2205]

Fear turns into confession (4/4)

Info: Jay can't knock the feelings he has for y/n

requested by @maybankangel-blog

Jay’s left leg bounced repeatedly as Erin drove down the road, following behind Adam and Kim. Erin had tried to make conversation with him but all he could think about was y/n and how she was. Hearing what the Montez brothers had planned for her made Jay sick. Voight had Mouse call the guys to see if they could find catch a meeting with them, acting as if they were interested in a girl, and Kevin was going to head in undercover. Jay had wanted to do it but Voight convinced him not to, saying they would probably remember him from his first attempt at catching them.

“Jay stop worrying, I’m, sure y/n is fine.” Erin spoke out to the quiet surroundings.

“She can’t blow her cover, and y/ won’t. So she will allow them to whatever they want to do, while she remains weak.” Jay stated, throwing his hand out in exasperation.

“Let me rephrase, you shouldn’t be worrying this much over her. You didn’t worry this much about Mouse when he was taken hostage.” Erin stated, glancing at Jay to see his reaction.

“Y/n’s different, she..” Jay took a deep breath to stop himself, “me and her have a history okay. I care about her, a lot more than..”

“Than me.” Erin interrupted him, causing Jay to turn to her quickly.

“More than Mouse.” Jay clarified, “Is this why you’re so cold towards y/n. Because you think I care about her more than you?” Jay asked, and Erin remained quiet for a moment.

“We’re here.” Erin announced as they turned the corner to a small café, where Kevin was sitting with two men.

“So why’d you contact us, how’d you find out about us.” Dareen asked the man sat in front of him and his brother.

“Well I mentioned to one of my buddies about my parents nagging me about finding a girl and settling down, you know how parents are wanting some grandkids and such. Told them I’d do anything to have a girl to shut them up. And a guy, Declan was his name I think, overheard and mentioned that he may be able to help. Sent me to you guys. Said it would cost a dime but you guys make it worth it.”

Kyle looked at Dareen before leaning in.

“What kind of girl you into?”

“y/c/h hair, y/c/e eyes, broad and sim, not too energetic, need a girl who can be kept tame, knows who’s in charge.” Kevin stated, describing y/n to them.

“Yeah we got a girl like that, when you want her?”

“Can I see her first?”

“No, no, we don’t do that. You take your chances, decide now or get lost.” Kyle stated, and Dareen lifted his jumper to reveal a gun.

“No no, that’s cool, that’s cool.” Kevin stated, eyeing the gun.

“Great, meet us at the random road in an hour, we’ll meet you there with the girl.” Kyle smirked.

“You bring the money, we bring you the girl.” Dareen announced.

“How much you want?” Kevin asked, eyebrow rising a bit.

“We’ll send you the dets.” Kyle spoke as he got up, walking back to his car.

“We’re moving.” Jay spoke into the radio.

“You know the drill.” Hank stated.

----------

y/n sighed as the tiredness began to hit her. She had no idea what time it was, but going by the small window in the top corner of the wall, it was starting to turn to night. She had tried discretely talking to Intelligence through the small mike, but all she got back was static, meaning the connection was lost on their end. She was used to not having interactions with her teams, but the uneasy feeling never went away.

Kyle had come in a while ago, stating that one girl might get lucky. But y/n had no clue what that meant. All she knew was that someone would be taken away today, and it entailed a cost. The boys weren’t enterally mean, they had fed them some food before they left, but they were yet to hear the sound of a car returning.

“What happens to the girl taken?” Y/n asked the only girl who seemed to talk.

“No clue. We just see them taken and they don’t return. A new girl takes their place.”

“Oh.” Y/n nodded, looking back at the window as a car was heard pulling in on gravel.

The girls crowded together and tried to cover their eyes from the light as it strayed from the opening door. Each girl flinched as the light harshly came through the door and y/n couldn't help but stay to the back of the crowd. She squinted her eyes as two figures came into view, refusing to look away as they walked towards her. Kyle had a smirk on his face as he walked towards her.

“It’s your lucky day new girl.” Kyle smirked at y/n, grabbing her arm.

“Hey what?” Y/n shouted, surprised at the pain she felt.

“Don’t fight, just come with us nice and calm than no one needs to get hurt.”

“No stop, leave me alone.” Y/n cried out, pulling back from him as they went up the stairs.

“Shut it girl or else.” Dareen shouted out at y/n as he took y/n from Kyle as he locked the door again.

Dareen narrowed his eyes at her and pushed her down onto the ground. Y/n gasped at the ain she felt on her shoulder upon the impact. She was still recovering from injuries so banging it against the wooden floor wasn’t ideal. She narrowed her eyes at the two men before Kyle crouched down to her. Watching his movement, she never seen the fist that came to her stomach on the opposite side.

“Now, that’s just a warning. We don’t want to hurt you too much.” Kyle warned her before grabbing her wrist and forcing her up.

Y/n nodded at the two men and decided to walk with them, trying to avoid eye contact of the two as they walked out the front door. Y/n blinked at the change of light as the sun set in front of them. Kyle threw her towards their car, opening the door before pushing her into it. She frowned in confusion as the car started and they drove down the driveway before coming to a stop. Y/n looked around before she was harshly tugged out of her seat.

Y/n looked around her before seeing a car pulling up behind them. She smirked to herself asshe seen Kevin jump out of the car.

-----------

Jay sighed in frustration as Erin parked far into the woods, out of sight as Kevin drove past them towards the meeting point. All he wanted was to open the door and run towards where y/n was and hold her in his arms. Erin sighed and rolled her eyes beside him, waiting to hear the word.

“Hey man, you got the girl.” Kevin spoke as he greeted Kyle.

“You got the money.” Kyle shouted back at him.

“Got it right here.” Rattling was heard as Kevin took out the envelope.

“Bring her out.”

Jay gripped the car door as he prepared to jump out and run towards the scene. Erin eyes him and glared slightly before preparing her gun. It wasn’t long before Kevin spoke the line and they rushed out of the car. Jay couldn’t help the thumping of his heart as they moved behind trees, and he glanced around to see y/n being gripped by one of the lads. Jay glared at the man, wanting nothing more than to throw his arms off her.

Time moved fast, and before y/n knew it she was pulled towards Dareen, and a gun was placed towards her head. Words were shouted as Intellagence surrounded Kyle and Dareen, and y/n’s eyes met Jay’s who nodded at her.

“Back off or she gets it.” Kyle shouted out.

“Let her go.” Hank shouted, aiming the gun at them.

“How about no.” Kyle fake thought before aiming and shooting his gun towards y/n leg.

Y/n cried out as the bullet embedded itself into her thigh. She began to fall as another bullet hit her arm, and she hissed as a foot was felt against her stomach, digging into her abdomen. Gunshots were heard before shouting followed, and y/n looked to the side to see Kyle and Dareen on the ground, Adam and Kevin on top of the mas they were handcuffed. She looked in front of her again as a hand was felt on her shoulder.

“Y/n, stay with me.” Jay shouted at her, placing pressure on her arm.

“My leg.” Y/n slurred lightly as her vision blurred.

“I need an ambo.” Jay called out behind him before looking back at y/n “hey, stay with me okay. Your going to be okay.” Jay pleaded with her.

“It’s ok.” Y/n slurred before her eyes shut on her.

---------

Jay spent the next few days at y/n’s side as she lay in her hospital bed, asleep. Will had told him that she was okay, but the bullet in her thigh had hit a vital artery, which caused blood loss. Jay hadn’t slept since the case, and had only been home once, which lead to an argument between Jay and Erin.

“Jay she’s not your girlfriend, stop worrying so much. She’ll be awake soon, you don’t need to stay with her 24 hrs.” Erin shouted at Jay as he packed an over bag.

“Erin I’m not leaving her side till I know she’s okay.” Jay responded, not stopping his movement.

“You didn’t react like this when I got hurt.”

“That’s because you needed stitches, she’s unconscious Erin, different scenario.” Jay shouted at her.

“You care about her more than me.”

“Erin you have been nothing but harsh to y/n from the moment you met her. You need to understand that y/n is someone I care about deeply, we’ve been through literal hell together.” Jay explained, sighing in slight frustration.

“Than maybe you should be with her.” Erin stated.

“Maybe I should.” Jay shouted quicker than he had to think of what he said.

“What?” Erin asked, voice quietening down.

“I think that maybe we shouldn’t be together anymore.” Jay spoke, calming down first.

“Your breaking up with me?” Erin asked, shocked.

“I’ll get Mouse to collect my stuff.” Jay spoke, sighing as he zipped up his bag and left the apartment.

Jay’s thoughts were disrupted as y/n moved slightly. Jay watched closely as her eyes began to flutter, and he leaned closer to her as she looked around. Her eyes stopped as they met Jays.

“Hey you.” Jay smiled, moving to sit beside her on the bed.

Y/n smiled in response.

Wh.." Y/n stopped talking, the dryness in her throat preventing her from saying much.

"Here." Jay offered her some water, bringing it to her lips and bringing her head up so she wouldn't choke.

"How long have I been out for?" Y/n asked once her throat wasn't scratching at her.

"A week. The bullet hit an archery but, Will managed to stop the bleeding and remove the bullet." Jay explained.

"The girls.."

"All found safe, reunited with their families. Kevin and Adam arrested the guys shortly after they shot you." jay explained, taking y/n's hand in his.

"I'm glad." Y/n smiled softly, leaning back into her pillow.

"I'm glad your okay. I don't know what I would of done if things had went south." Jay confessed, placing a hand on her cheek.

"I always knew you would find me, you always do." Y/n smiled.

Jay chuckled lightly before leaning forward, kissing y/n's head before moving to call a doctor.

---------------

A few weeks later y/n had since been discharged and was currently on medical advice not to do anything too strenuous. She spent most of her time at Intelligence, sitting with Mouse as he worked the computer.  Kyle and Dareen had been arrested and the girls had been found, each safe and returned to their families.

Jay sat at his desk staring at y/n as she laughed at something Kevin said, his head in his hand. Thinking to himself, he got up and decided to walk over the them. Not thinking much he grabbed y/n before her good arm and turning her to him. Jay ignored the stares that turned to them as she smiled at him.

“Hey Jay, you ok?” Y/n asked, concerned by his sudden movements.

“Y/n I have never been so afraid of loosing you. Which is why I ask,” Jay stopped as he moved down to one knee.

“Jay..” Y/n strarted, not sure what to say.

“What the “ Erin started, not sure how to react.

“Jay I can’t marry you.” Y/n stated, and Jay stood up with a frown, “But I would accept to being your girlfriend.” She stated boldly.

“Really?”  Jay asked, a smile starting to form.

“Really.” Y/n nodded, and Jay smirked in response.

Erin crossed her arms at the interaction between the two while Adam and Kevin whistled. Mouse just smiled at his two friends, knowing nothing could have been better than them too together.

[bagelofhope]

Unnecessarily long thllda theories/predictions/analysis post

Hi! Very normal hundred line fan here :)

I’ve always wanted to make a predictions kind of post and I also just wanna yap about my thoughts on the game so far. I’ve been lurking on hndr tumblr + twt and have consumed a LOT of promo content. So I’m gonna dump my thoughts here before some promo trailer debunks all my theories! Be warned: this is gonna be long and unorganized, and i dont plan on proofreading it. Also, spoilers since im gonna use promo media from beyond the demo.

What happens for the next few days after Day 7

I’ve seen several images showing members from the current group talking about not having/looking for food. Im 99% sure the current group is gonna face a hunger situation (like in SDR2) but this time, the food is being gatekept by a fellow member-

I def think Hiruko is gonna set up some scheme to push the non-fighters to join the fight—even if it’s something like breaking the Ration-o-matic with her axe– to force the non-fighters to look for food. Since she’s been fighting invaders even before the entrance exam and seems a lot more war-focused than others, I think removing the group’s only food source wouldn’t be too far off for her. In the demo, she even said she didn’t think too hard about her situation in the TRC or the consequences of not fully understanding the war— the stance opposite of Eito in the demo. Or maybe it’s because she knows more? But anyway, this hunger sitch could in turn motivate Takumi to convince the non-fighters to join through a Shot Through the Heart-like minigame.

In this lets play, seeing that there's only 2 non-fighters who joined, maybe the player is only able to convince up to 2 non-fighters to join in the limited free time? The choice of who to recruit could also be one of the things that leads to different endings, which brings me to:

The Choice System - Are there really 100 endings?

I believe the multiple endings thing is more Uchikoshi’s lane. However other than Hndr, I really only know Danganronpa so I’m mostly using my imagination here. Luckily while I was writing this, we got an interview with Uchikoshi in the hundred line blogs ^^ It clarifies a bunch of things about the 100 endings so if you are still in doubt about that, I recommend reading it!

Just as the blog says, I do genuinely believe there will be 100 endings with different kinds of genres and storylines. The game probably has enough characters and mysteries to expand the game to that extent. My main worry though, is that once players get up to something like 30 endings, trying to finish the game might start to feel tedious. Was Hundred Line's story really worth expanding in 100 different ways, rather than focusing on creating fewer, but consistently dense stories?

If Hundred Line had, say, 50 endings, that number would still be impressive—and each one would probably feel more fleshed-out and memorable. But how well each ending holds up really comes down to the other 9 writers (who we don’t really know much about).

I’m keeping my hopes up, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if half the endings end up being a lot less interesting than the other half. Here’s a very rough representation of how I envision the choice/routes flowchart:

I remember reading somewhere (twitter maybe) Kodaka saying that players can go for routes where they can finish the game the fastest– so I do think some routes/endings are shorter than others. Having some shorter routes also makes 100 endings a bit easier to accomplish!

In the demo, we got to see a glimpse of the choice mechanic (I think it doesn’t actually count as 1 of the 100 endings though). Based on this, I think there will be certain “events” occurring throughout the game that ask the player to choose between 2 options. For example, the player needs to choose either to: try to save everyone or decide who to kill off (kinda like YTTD). There would be several routes with the same events but as the player’s choices stray further away from the “true” route, the routes branch off to new crazier routes. I do wonder if it’ll be clear which one is the “True route”, or if Kodaka/Uchikoshi will reveal it outside the game. The in-game flowchart, which I think will appear when we make the first “event choice”, is gonna be really helpful in showing all the different crazy route branches. To summarize, I think the endings will vary depending on:

Who you recruit

How many die permanently

Who and how many times someone dies in battle but gets hemoanima-revived

Who and how many times someone does the final blow

Random 2-option choices in important events (like in the demo)

Types of endings:

20 bad-ish endings that end before Day 50.

20 bad-ish endings that end before Day 80.

20 bad endings that reach Day 100 where only Takumi and 1 other character survive.

15 good endings that reach Day 100 where the majority of people survive.

15 good-ish endings that reach Day 100 where 3-5 people survive.

1 bad ending where only Takumi survives

1 good ending where everyone survives (true ending?)

The rest are bad endings where no one survives

There will probably be more to it– like gameplay mechanics that haven’t been revealed yet that also affect the endings.

More on that part where someone gets revived:

Hemoanima is def some double-edged sword. I’d say it’s like a representation of “power”, seeing that war is the game’s theme. In fact, I’m very interested to see how far the game goes in showing the nuances of war conflicts, the tragedy of losing members, complex relationships– all that good stuff! Hemoanima raises your power, but in turn, it can turn people insane, power-hungry, or even–

yeah this game is gonna be fucked up.

What made me like Danganronpa (despite its many flaws) was seeing how interesting characters deal with absurd out-of-the-ordinary scenarios. Maybe a beloved Chiaki-like character (im looking at you Nozomi) dies and almost everyone turns into despair-filled zombies. Or maybe they find *hope* and get through the rest of the 100 days together with the power of friendship! EIther way, I’m very excited to see these kinds of arcs in the game.

Something else I’m excited to see is:

In Joey’s interview, Kodaka mentions *gasp* that the story splits later on! This could just be referring to a different major plot event but my crazy theory is that Nozomi is our 2nd protagonist and the player will get the choice to play as Takumi or her. If 1 of them dies, we will be locked to the other protag. I’m not exactly sure how this 2-protags thing would work but if this is true, then the endings will be much more interesting!

Having Nozomi as the 2nd protag could also explain… this:

This is the rating summary from esrb. Maybe the term “players’ character” was used since Nozomi being the 2nd protag would be a spoiler. (Having a 2nd protag probably adds a whole new layer to my theories but I’ll just refer to Takumi as the sole protag for now)

Day 28 - The 2nd-To-Last Defense Academy Students

Oop, totally forgot to talk about this. So it’s been sorta leaked that Day 28 is when the other students meet up with us.

I’m guessing we meet up during battle where the gang is “saved” by them. Maybe there’s 5 waves and we get to play one person from the 2nd group each wave, introducing us to each new student one at a time? Meeting new characters 20+ days in would be pretty exciting! Again, Nozomi being the leader of this group kinda reminds me of Chiaki being class rep in the anime.

Is Nozomi Karua?

I’m gonna say, not really. My biggest theory is that we’re dealing with an Alternate Parallel Universes thing (Spiderman comes to mind), not a VR sim or amnesia thing or whatever. In all universes, the war is somehow inevitable and the gang is brought to this one universe that keeps the one thing that keeps all universes intact (hidden in the secret room). So Nozomi would be like a parallel version of Karua, who was chosen by Sirei. Maybe there’s some dialogue where Nozomi reveals she had a childhood bestie who died early (like Takumi)? Then without someone to “protect” her, she learned to protect herself and became war-ready. 

About her mom being a researcher, like many people I’m sure this isn’t just a random cool fact. I think both her parents were/are involved in the war and knew about it. Theory: Being a researcher, her mom found a way to avoid hemoanima from “corrupting” her daughter. In turn, Nozomi got sickly and doesn’t have hemoanima-compatible blood. Hence, the blue light things in her transformation instead of a blood tornado? Nozomi’s part in the story is one of the most interesting mysteries so far, and I would love to see her perspective as a protag!

Why did Sirei choose the gang?

Shouma mentioned something very interesting about his entrance exam.

(Couldnt find the clip, but heres a snippet from the wiki)

He was too scared to fight so Sirei stabbed him himself to activate the hemoanima. Veeery interesting that the students don't have to stab themselves to activate it, but Sirei encourages them to do so anyway. I think this– plus how Sirei pushes for them to fight before giving more info– plus foreshadowing from Eito who wants to know more about the sitch– all leads to my theory that Sirei wants the students to feel that responsibility. Heard of the phrase, “Once you’ve killed someone, there’s no turning back?” In this case, it would be “Once your blood gets hemoanima-corrupted, there’s no going back to the way you were before.” Stabbing yourself with the hemoanima infuser means taking responsibility for the deaths you’ll cause. Or something. I’m also guessing that Sirei chose characters from very specific universes. Because of the Shouma thing, I’m guessing he already had people in mind to recruit but he also had to choose which one is the “best” version for war. This could make for such an interesting pre-LDA story for each character! The Takumi chosen was the one who was so motivated to protect his friend that he would stab himself. The Hiruko chosen was the one who already had practice fighting the invaders. The Darumi chosen was the one who was so discontent with her life she would pounce at an opportunity to be in a killing game. Perhaps the entrance exam was done on several versions of themselves, though only 1 had succeeded in all universes? (Though I doubt that’s true for someone like Hiruko) As to why Sirei recruited a bunch of mostly battle-inexperienced highschoolers, I don’t really have a theory for. 

Who’re the invaders?

I don’t know about the small weaker invaders, but I’m pretty sure that the enemy commanders are *corrupted* former humans who can no longer communicate properly. The only thing that keeps them alive is their hemoanima-infected blood and a decaying husk of flesh. They probably have little to no human blood left in their system, leaving them power-fueled zombies.

And yes, I think every student has at least one route where they get corrupted at some point (including Takumi!).

I have 2 theories for this very cute Moko and Nozomi CG. One, it happens right after the Day 28 battle where Moko gets seriously injured after helping rescue the 1st group. Two, it happens after she gets corrupted by hemoanima at some route, then gets “decorrupted?” somehow and turns back human. Either way, I’m sure I’m gonna enjoy their scenes together even though I doubt actual yuri will happen. Speaking of…

That Aotsumi/Takueito CG

Sorry but I really doubt there’s gonna be any wholesome cute yaoi (or any good canon LGBT rep) in a game co-written by Kodaka (Idk abt Uchikoshi or the other writers tho). In this route, I do think that both Eito and Takumi have gone through a lot of “bad choice” event branches here. Eito ends up insane while Takumi ends up lifeless. There’s been many theories but here’s my thoughts– If this was Takumi missing a dead Eito where the Eito here is a dream/hallucination, then I don’t think Eito would be shown looking crazy and nude. Usually when it comes to remembering dead well-liked characters, the protag would be thinking of a cute memory or imagining them talking reminiscently beside them. Like that ending scene in the anime with Hajime and Chiaki or ghost Kaede playing Clair de Lune. I also don’t think it’s like a sudden one-sided Eito thing where he forces himself on Takumi since Takumi doesn't seem fazed. Plus he's also naked. I think they’re both messed in the head here. But honestly, I will happily take any queerbait crumbs I can get. (I’m already too far gone in the takueito and nozomoko train)

Might just be the soft takueito truther in me but I also think Eito isn’t gonna be as crazy as people are making him out to be. I think every student will go insane at some point- though I’m sure each one will also have some likable traits— especially since we get to explore more of their backstories and actually see their potential realized, unlike ⅓ of the Danganronpa cast tbh. A cast full of big personalities would probably be better handled in a game like Hundred line, where each character gets a chance to be connected to the main story. Speaking of potential…

I’m proud to say I’ve invested in IMACOIN✨

There’s a really disturbing scene from the jp hndr twitter account and this Kodaka tweet–

– that’s really testing the imacoin stocks but here’s my 2 cents (imacents?):

In the demo, it’s implied that the twins had a rough childhood. Since Ima has the “Special Misconduct” skill while Kako has “Special Good Conduct,” I’m guessing Ima had to do a lot of shady crafty things to support them growing up. He developed a need to protect her innocence because of all the shit he went through as a kid, which led to– lets call it– his “possessiveness” over her. BUT his motivation to keep doing that kinda stuff to keep them afloat is born out of both love and resentment for her. She became his reason to live– and his reason to keep suffering, never putting himself before her safety, always putting himself in front of her. One thing that I hope isn’t true is the very blatant suggestive implications of actual incest happening. Never been a fan of incest plots in Danganronpa. My very optimistic theory (and the one that’s fueling my imacoin investment) is that Ima is blatantly acting overprotective of his sis to not let anyone come anywhere close to harming her. He is self-aware and being very suggestive on purpose so that people are weirded out and don’t try anything. Kinda like acting as if “she’s mine” even though that’s not how he actually feels about Kako. Still weird for Ima but that’s the most non-toxic dynamic I’ve thought of so far. I’ll just say that I’m looking forward to seeing his Ima redemption arc when Kako gets the guts to do her own thing (or when Kako dies). Invest in Imacoin! (or don’t, totally reasonable if you don’t)

So! I’ve covered most of my main theories! Here’s some more about some random CGs we’ve seen.

The gang eats a nice big meal together after finding food following their first battles. (Notice Hiruko isn't here)

Kurara punching Gaku team rocket-style after he tries to touch her tomato head

Takemaru and Shouma training arc after mecha-Shouma impresses him

Thanks for reading! There definitely isn’t enough context to guess the whole game but it was fun to gather my thoughts like this ^^ I wanna do an “endings im hoping for” kinda post next!

[thewritingmagician2022]

Hey! I just found your blog and I've read through your work and I love it 💗 can I request MC trying to talk the brothers out of confessing to them?

(Perhaps taking place towards the end of season 1, beginning of season 2)

The brothers tell MC they love "LOVE" them and MC thinks they're joking and when they finally realize that the brothers are being serious MC's like "I thought you had better taste... are you sure you're not just infatuated with an idealized version of me that you created in your head? I mean you can do better, besides what would the people of Devildom think? Honestly, I didn't really get the impression you liked "liked" me in that way... I think you should think it through, maybe it's because I'm a novelty that your interested in me?" Or something along those lines? The point is that MC doubts their feelings and thinks they can do better.

Thank you so much! 💓

This is one of my favorite prompts because it’s so realistic and human and authentic. Which is terrifying too because I know I’m not gonna do it justice and I’m so freaking late on this. Back on topic - what makes us special to these brothers? Is it going to last? How long until we’re nothing new? (starts playing Taylor Swift in the background while I contemplate these)

Lucifer: Lucifer is vaguely insulted by the implication that you don’t trust him to know his own feelings. Yes, he understands your self doubt because he’s the high level demon Lucifer, the best of the best, and it makes sense that you would feel intimidated by that. But to doubt his feelings is to doubt Lucifer’s judgement and that won’t stand. He knows who’s worth his time and affection (no one) and he is not willing to open himself up to such a state of vulnerability without absolute certainty. So when he says he loves you, it’s true. He’s been around a long time and you’re the only person who has been able to capture his attention and heart in such a way; he isn’t worried at all about the feelings fading or being an illusion. He is under no delusions of who you really are - the person who doesn’t listen to him and runs wild with his brothers and causes so many problems in the Devildom and also the person who brought his family back together again and who reminded Lucifer of who he used to be and could still be. He will provide you reason after reason to back his point if you need it but he really feels he should only have to express his feelings once to make it clear.

Mammon: Mammon’s feelings are definitely hurt when you question him, even if it’s coming from a good place. He knows he’s not the most serious demon and maybe he’s a bit of a tsundere but he doesn’t understand how you can doubt him after everything you’ve been through together. He’s your first man, you’re his best-friend. Mammon is no stranger to romance and flirting over the millenia; demons, angels, witches, humans, etc. He’s got options, almost as many as Asmo, but you are the only person who has ever made him feel this good, this special and loved and in love.It breaks his heart a little every time you doubt his love for you. He might not be the best at talking about his feelings but he promises that he will spend the rest of his life showing you exactly how much he loves you for you, the same way you love him for him - the good and the bad and the weird. He is yours until the end of time, whether or not you’ll ever actually be his.

Levi: Of all the brothers, Levi is probably the most understanding of your doubts - not regarding him, that’s super crazy and he doesn’t understand how you could ever think he could do better than you. He does understand how self-doubt doesn’t always follow logic so he actually does well not taking it personally when you ask him those kinds of questions. He’s a man of many hyperfixations but they’re lasting. Have you seen him with his favorite series or Ruri-chan? This man is dedication personified. He’s already added you to his list of hyperfixations and, okay, maybe he does idealize you a little but he’s not as deluded as you think. He knows you have weird, messy bits of you - just like him - and he loves that so much about you because he’s able to actually be comfortable with you. He loves you and trusts you and respects you, which is more than he can say about anyone else in his life, and he is going to be your simp long after the series finale and he only hopes you’ll agree to let him stay in your life and worship you the way he knows you deserve.

Satan: That line of questioning makes him angry, shocking. He hates that you’re doubting him and his feelings. Satan is the intellectual of his brothers (if you ask him). He’s smart enough to know that there’s a difference between lust vsinfatuation vs love, and he’s considered it for a long time before he came forward with his feelings. He knows they’re genuine and lasting; he even avoided you in the beginning to avoid catching those kinds of feelings but it happened. Satan knows maybe he can romanticize things a little, like in the romance novels that he secretly loves, but he doesn’t think it’s to an unhealthy or unrealistic level - no more than a general man in love might do. He’ll sit and discuss all of this with you for as long as necessary, reigning in that anger that stems from feeling rejected, until you finally realize that he’s genuinely in love with you.

Asmo: Okay, so Asmo gets it, you know? He’s most beautiful being in three realms and charming and funny and sweet and basically everything good wrapped into one wonderful, sparkly, good smelling package. It would make sense that any human he pursued felt a little insecure about his feelings and their worthiness. But like…it’s you! You’ve seen Asmo at his worst - the days when he’s not as beautiful or kind, when he’s selfish and cruel and narcissistic - and you’ve stuck by his side the whole time. He is going to do the same for you. He sees your inner (and outer) beauty every time he looks at you and he falls a bit more in love with you every time. He knows what lust and infatuation feels like - he feels those every day and has them reflected right back at him tenfold. You are not those things. There’s still the passion and longing and affection but it’s so much warmer and steadier, like the warm sun that Asmo used to see in the human realm. You make him better (a hard task considering how close to perfection he is) and he won’t stand for you having any kind of doubts. He’s going to love you into loving yourself until you’re unable to doubt him or your relationship ever again.

Beel: That’s…not unfair to ask him. Beel may not be the smartest brother but he’s not as stupid as others make him out to be. He is the only brother who is going to hear you out and actually take the time to think about what you’re saying. You are the first human he’s ever had these kinds of feelings for, the first person actually. Beel is not used to romance at all and so he really needs to think about the line between romantic and platonic and familial; he doesn’t want to mess up the relationship by defining it incorrectly and breaking both of your hearts in the process. He doesn’t agree that you’re not good enough or interesting enough to inspire those kinds of feelings in him; he thinks you’re the most wonderful being he’s ever come across and anyone would be lucky to know you, let alone be loved by you like he is. It doesn’t take him too long to come the conclusion that no, he is in love with you. He would choose you over food or sports or even some of his brothers; hefeels empty without you in a way that even Belphie can’t compare to. He wants to kiss you and hold you and keep you around forever to share in his food and laughs and affection. Once Beel makes his decision, it’s completely solidified. Beel is a ride or die kind of man and you know you’ll never have to doubt him once he tells you he loves you.

Belphie: Belphie is torn. He understands why you may question his love for you. He did betray you and literally kill you in another universe; he would be more concerned if you weren’t skeptical about him. However, you feeling not good enough? Absolutely absurd. You need therapy ASAP. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to him and his family, even if you are a human. He never wanted these feelings; he loathed you at first but, over the months and different experiences you’ve shared, those feelings have grown to respect and trust and love. He couldn’t stop himself from loving you even if he tried (and he’s tried). He can understand your nerves but he knows down to his very soul that he loves you and that he will always love you. If you can’t accept his feelings, he’ll be the most accepting of it, especially because he doesn’t think he deserves you at all but he will never back down from his claims and he will continue expressing his love for you until the very end.

Diavolo: Of them all, Diavolo most understands why you may doubt the longevity of this relationship. He’s the demon lord. He’s the top choice of the realm, and everyone is scrutinizing him and his choices. He gets why you might be afraid of that and what comes with it. However, he wouldn’t be choosing you if he hadn’t thought long and hard about it to make sure his feelings for you withstood all of those doubts and fears. Diavolo does not lovely easily or lightly; he’s been offered companionship from more people than he could ever care to count but he’s never seriously considered any of them. You are the first and only person to have made him fall so completely head over heels in love that he’s able to get out of his own head which is so often filled with those some kinds of doubts and questions. He may not make every decision in his life with 100% confidence but this is one that he feels so sure of that he’s willing to stake his entire future and reputation on it. He loves you and he will do everything in his power to prove that he loves you and will stay by your side as you both rule the Devildom together, putting you at the top with him - exactly where you belong.

Barbatos: Barbatos is efficient, if nothing else in the world. Do you really think that he would pursue you if he wasn’t completely sure of his feelings and your future together? This is the man who has spent his entire life dedicated to Diavolo; he’s turned away from every and any meager temptation that’s come his way. No one has ever caught his eye like you have and certainly no one has ever made him question where his loyalty lays. Of course he is still Lord Diavolo’s servant and he serves the Devildom to the best of his ability but his heart isn’t in it the same way and that’s because he’s given it to you. You are what consumes his every thought and feeling; he’s broken the rules and used his powers for you, he’s gone against Diavolo for you, he is willing to do anything so long as he can be near you and make you happy. You don’t even have to accept his love or love him back, if you really can’t or won’t, but he’s seen you in every timeline and loves you in all of them. Nothing in this world or any of the others will change that and, if you give him the opportunity, he will dedicate his every moment to proving to you why you can put your full faith in him. After all, Barbatos has never failed at an assignment before.

Solomon: Solomon can understand insecurity on your end. It’s hard to consider yourself special enough to last for someone who has seen everything. Solomon has lived thousands of years, visited the three realms, love and lost time and time again. It’s hard to imagine that you’re anything more than the next shiny toy he’s got his eye on. For someone who can never die, what is this love other than a small blip on his radar one day? Solomon can’t stop you from feeling that way because, in a way, it’s true. You can’t be a permanent fixture in his life because you’re human but he can certainly be one in your life. Solomon would argue that he’s seen so many people and places over the millenia and he has lived long enough to know himself completely, and he knows that he loves you. He knows that no matter what happens or changes, his feelings for you will never waver. He will carry his love for you until the ends of time itself. It’s his curse to bear and the only thing that would make it bearable is being able to love you directly for as long as he’s given the chance.

Simeon: Simeon is the most patient and sympathetic as you ask him these questions. He would never invalidate your fears but he will confront them with you and break them down and banish them. Simeon is an angel who has watched over humanity for as long as they’ve been around. He has seen the best of the best and the worst of worst and still he’s never been tempted to turn away from his Father for one. At first, he could have explained it as curiosity and then fondness but it blossomed into the deep, unwavering love that he feels for you now. He sees your flaws and humanity and loves you all the more for it. You have become the new object of his worship and affection; he would fall from grace if it meant being able to hold you in his arms and shower you in the love he so truly believes you deserve. He will remind you every day of why you deserve to be happy and loved; he will tell you everything he loves about you from your smile to your kind heart to your most selfish desires. So, please, just put the same faith in him and his feelings that he puts in you and let him love you.

[goodluckclove]

On Not Writing

Hi! I'm back. i had a fun two days of doing absolutely nothing writing related, including scrolling this blog. Wife and I played a lot of Valheim. Took a lot of bike rides. Watched Interstellar for the first time - pretty good, kind of silly at the end. It was my first two-day weekend in probably three months, so it was much-needed, hard as it was.

And it got me thinking of some things I wanted to say to the community here. It's especially targeted towards younger writers, of which I used to be one, but I think it can apply to anyone who finds themselves despairing over how much they aren't writing.

Let's imagine you're sitting with me in this coffee shop. It's an overcast Portland morning and I just inadvertently vivisected a croissant. And as we sip our drinks (I ordered a lavender latte), you lament to me. I don't know what to do, Clove. I just haven't been writing!

You know what I say to that?

Good.

This is a new hot take of mine that I, once again, worry about upsetting people with. Because I see a lot of guides here about how to write, or how to write consistently, or how to write through writers block. But I haven't seen a single person talking about the inverse - how to not write. Or - perhaps more accurately - how to exist as a human being separate from your identity as a writer.

This is a problem for me.

Listen - I started young. I was 12 when I wrote my first novella, and 13 when I completed my first novel the next year. Adults in my life were impressed by the big-eyed child writing so many words. They encouraged me. I wrote two more novels, and they continued to encourage me. Because of the potential, right? I could be successful. I could be famous.

People stopped pushing me to try other things. I saw I was getting validation as a writer, so that only pushed me to continue fixating over something I was already enjoying and getting pretty good at. Dad had me writing two thousand words every day, because that's what Stephen King did. At 16 I finished four full-length novels, which everyone thought was really cool and interesting. I was also sporting dual hand braces every day throughout the winter to cope with the carpal tunnel I still struggle with to this day.

There is encouraging a person in their passion. There is also poisoning them with the belief that their self-worth comes from pursuing that passion. This is entirely, absolutely, even more true for younger writers and artists.

I am enraged for the young writer in my heart and in my head. Because they worried about a lot of the same things I see people worry about on here. Oh, if I don't write I'm not a writer! And to an extent they're right, as to be a writer you need to at some point write some stuff.

But here's the fucking thing, Young Clover - a child should not strive for the work ethic of a professional adult. You did not need to write 2k words a day to be a writer. You were a writer as soon as you updated that terrible Invader Zim fanfiction you wrote when you were 10.

And more than that, though, the most important thing to a person should not be their job and aspirations. If you don't write every day, you're still a writer. If you've never written anything, you aren't - and that's fine. You might write something later down the line, or you might not. Either way you are still entitled to exist on the planet and capable of living a full and passionate and wonderful life.

Hear my words: being a writer is not more important than being a human being.

If you aren't writing right now, maybe you're not supposed to be. Maybe you're meant to be nurturing your relationships, or nurturing yourself. Maybe you're supposed to be volunteering. Or meeting new people. Or gaining a new field of knowledge. Or getting really good at making focaccia bread. Or watching every Mark Wahlberg movie.

I don't like to hear this any more than you do. If I was told that I, for some reason, was not allowed to write for the rest of my life, I would be miserable for maybe a long time. After that passed it's my hope that I would move on and do other things, because my worth is not dependent on being a writer. I like doing it. I like being it, and I hope to be one for the rest of my life. But I never want it to be the first thing people see when they look at me. I don't even like bringing it up in conversation with people I don't already know.

So yeah, if you have "writer's block", maybe consider putting down the pickaxe and getting some rest. Step away entirely from the large boulder that stands between you being the next Stephen King or Brandon Sanderson or Teen Dystopia Writer no. 2321. Take a break, and I mean an ACTUAL break, not the kind where you spend the whole time sulking about work.

I am legitimately begging the writers on here to have developed lives and interests outside of writing. I am begging because I do not have that and it has consistently been one of the hardest things of my life.

You prioritize living outside your writing and it will improve the quality of your writing when you get back to it, as it'll allow you a frame of reference that extends beyond our niche industry. Or it might make you realize that, while you enjoy writing, what you really love is ceramics. Or game developing. Or mutual-aid activism. Or the movies of Mark Wahlberg.

It is not your job to treat yourself like you already have a dozen deadlines and an audience teetering on the edge of disappointment. That's ultimately not going to help you. Your job on this earth is to exist fully, for the sake of the universe that wants so desperately to live vicariously through you.

So breathe. Breathe and calm down. You aren't a failure and there's nothing you have to prove. All you have to do today is drink some water and have a nice snack while you look at a cloud.

Please be kind. All of us need to be kinder to each other and to ourselves.

That's all I want to say. I love you dearly. Please let me know if you need anything.