#if im not crocheting im cleaning if im not cleaning im crocheting | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

visforvii · 1 year ago

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#resentment is building #im exhausted and for what #i do all these things and for what #if im not crocheting im cleaning if im not cleaning im crocheting #i take all of that out of my sleep and for what #i dont even sleep anymore i just nap until i need to get up #i am on the brink of collapsing from exhaustion i can feel it #my memory has been horrible i struggle to recall events #my wrist and back are starting to hurt a lot at times and its slowing me down #i cant stay asleep i feel guilt and disappointment in myself #i force myself to get up because thats the price i need to pay if i want to spend time with loved ones #im paying the tax and for what #i used to give myself shit for not doing enough and you know i still think i could do more but thats a different conversation #but i think i do equal to or more than my fair share of the chores #even when you take into consideration that my fair share is two thirds #you know that one comic of this dad taking care of his baby and this other dad is like 'babysitting'#and then the first one is like 'this is my kid it isnt babysitting if its my kid'#anyway doing the dishes isnt helping out it is just doing (less than) your fair share #i want my house to be clean and so i clean #but i guess thats my fault for having a high standard and low tolerance #i wish it wasnt me every single time #i clean the bathtub and buy nice bath stuff just so somebody else can take a bath because im out here passing out from exhaustion #im out here passing out from exhaustion making something for someone who is #lets be real kind of inconsiderate and insensitive to me right now #they did something really nice for me for my birthday and i wanted to do something in return #they deserve my love but they do not deserve my suffering #at this point im in sunk cost fallacy land but that's a conversation for a different time im too busy being bitter #im making this huge project as a message of love but i know they dont want my love so im just being a fool at this point #yet i still hope and i still dream that they will understand it for what it is and accept it and return that love #im quite possibly literally killing myself so other people can have nice things and i wish they would help or at least recognize that

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lavenoon · 10 months ago

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Before domestication comes a good, thorough hosing down

So, uh. This was supposed to be a wet beast wednesday and "stinky sewer troll" joke in one. And then it got entirely away from me. I continue ignoring canon and living in my made up timeline of Severing Hell's Leash (if you look closely, you can see Angor wear his ring!), and in that timeline he needs a shower.

Also version without the water below the cut

#post let luce #tales of arcadia #trollhunters #jim lake jr #angor rot #severing hell's leash #my art #im also writing again so out of time wont be the only piece in the series for much longer hfdjsk #just. please just take this i spent SO much time on this joke fhdjsk #it WAS very important to me to finish this today #given that i started last year n then didnt work on it for a few weeks (had to crochet gifts instead)#gotta start off this year with powerwashing the angry troll #also yeah jim has his amulet at the ready for the deep clean. gotta be prepared for feral reactions to water #enough rambles. enjoy <3

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chainsawworld · 8 months ago

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Guess who I finally finished properly

Bonuses

#gamer txt.#al art #madness combat #mag agent torture #crochet #sewing #hes been clean and handless for so long but now he's himself again #anyways been doing this the last couple of days #did the blood over the last 2 days because i was procrastinating doing it around the nail heads #and did the hands today because little mittens like that are pretty easy actually #im quite proud if this #i know he was already finished and i just did him up a little but still i think he looks way better now #and he has hands! i have 3 madcom plushies and he was the only one to not have hands it was fucked up #do i tag blood?#blood tw #just in case

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asexualbookbird · 4 months ago

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my favorite part of living with adhd is when i recognise something is Important and so i put it in a Safe Space so i dont lose it and then i never see it again haha

#bookbird babbles #CROCHET HOOK I BOUGHT FOR THIS PROJECT WHERE DID YOU GO YOU ARE NOT IN MY BAG OF CROCHET HOOKS #(it was in.....are you ready for this.............my pencil holder that sits on my desk)#(and because it sits on my desk it is Background Noise and i forget it exists)#anyway. at least my room is clean. ish. cleaner.#im gonna crochet and listen to my book lmao

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catkin-morgs-kookaburralover · 1 year ago

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friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you

#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that #will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT.#anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure.#and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo #$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive #and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started #anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean #and i am just so sad right now #and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun #not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course #i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as #breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage #i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard #i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade #and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone.#i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that #:((#honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug.#im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago

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hour 14 of taking a break from art for the sake of my tendons: i am Wailing and Keening and Scratching Forlornly At My Tablet

#i dont know if im strong enough but i Need to be strong enough #cant continue doodling if ya wrist doesnt work #clenching my fists and chanting 'this is necessary this is necessary'#ive been going way too hard lately. unfortunately #curse this mortal body and its stupid bullshit mechanics that dont even work half the time #gonna cope by eating overly spicy soup and crochet #well no. i cant crochet. ten minutes of that hurts worse than scribbling for eight gay hours #to put it quite simply - but with feeling: FUCK!#absolutely unprompted #howling and sobbing and baying etc etc #i was gonna finish that commission tonight. then i was gonna start on something else i promised Days ago.#maybe get some doodles done for asks.#work on vines part 2.#but it oof ouch too much :/#what the hell am i supposed to do now #fold laundry? clean my room? read? WRITE? ha dont make me laugh #i havent written in 2 months and im not about to start now #(said immediately before screaming into a pillow)#maybe ill like... go through my replies for once... see if people are trying to talk to me...#see if im brave enough to Directly Interact outside of asks...

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aliengirl · 9 months ago

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my new obsession is doll houses, i cant stop looking at renovation videos and searching for ones that i could renovate myself even having low knowledge about those things

#pls brain we DONT NEED MORE HOBBIES #at least engage in something USEFUL like cleaning or cooking or some shit #i dont need another arts and crafts hobbie 😭#i already paint/draw with 3 different stuff and i bought clay and i wanna learn sewing and crochet l #nOW DOLL HOUSES????????????#where the fuck i will put one #anyways i found a good deal on amazon and im this 🤏 far from the purchase buttom #alien talks

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deepfriedseagullfeet · 1 month ago

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prototyping homestuck symbols as crochet grids today. making these manually took 2 hours

#in stitch fiddle (a chart website) you can just upload an image and convert it but it sucks ass im gonna be real with yall #so made an empty stitch fiddle canvas 25 x 25 and screen shotted it #and then i traced over all the lines in krita with the line tool so they are more defined #then i took the bucket tool. and individually filled in each square (brush tool for big areas)#it took waaaay too long but i had full control over my lines this way #the charts dont look super clean but it has everything i need to crochet a tapestry #maybe i will convert these into nicer files and sell the pattern?? idk im debating on if i want to keep these to myself #anyways. i worked this morning ate jimmy johns and did this so thats how my friday is going #life with seag

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velarisdusk · 2 months ago

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i took a break from kinktober writing to crochet a sweater (my first wearable project, im very excited) and i'm listening to the throne of glass audiobook while i do it (IT'S REALLY GOOD IM ANNOYED I DIDNT START ON THE SERIES SOONER??????)

BUT all this to say, i got the idea to - if this sweater goes well - make a velaris sweater :') with ramiel on it :') it's already a thing i know but ive wanted one since the first time i saw one on tiktok but i dont wanna buy clothes on tiktok bc im worried about wearing anything THAT cheap bc i have sensitive skin, and theyre WAY expensive on etsy, so i will make my own :D

#this has nothing to do with writing #sorry yall #i just had to tell someone #and no one ik irl likes acotar or crochets so like #yall get to deal with my ramblings about it #anyway kinktober days 1-17 are done #im sweating idk how im balancing everything rn #no sleep and hanging on by a thread?#5 classes this semester; 20+ hours a week at the lab; OVERSEEING INCOMPETENT PEOPLE AT LAB; PERSONAL EMOTIONAL TURMOIL #crocheting; writing; and somehow still managing to clean and cook and eat and shower and skincare and GOD #i know a lot of this is like...... normal stuff a person needs to do every day but like #im medicated girls.... and the wellbutrin is not wellbutrining rn #has not been for like weeks now #maybe i need to talk to my psychiatrist........#yikes oversharing now gonna go #i was gonna write but i simply do not feel like it #i am going to make my sweater and listen to tog thank you #this has been my daily pop in with you guys

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steampoweredskeleton · 3 months ago

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#delete later #as nervous as i am about moving. im also weirdly looking forward to living on my own? i still have a lot of fear of doing things #around ppl and the fact that ill have a kitchen where i can experiment with whatever cooking i want withoit worrying #about someone seeing or someone getting frustrated is. kinda nice? and ill be able to organise everything for me. abd keep it #as clean as i want and not worry about touching other ppls stuff. im concerned itll make me even more sensitive to other ppl #being in my space. but in terms of short term comfort its going to be. nice. im just going to have to be careful not to start #following compulsions just bc no one is there to notice and point things out to me. the worry about inconveniencing others #keeps me from getting stuck in them. im going to have to be really strict with myself. but im going to have SPACE. not have #to do everything sitting on my bed. im gonns buy an armchair. im gonna have an armchair i can sit abd crochet in.#exciting. got a viewing monday abd i rly hope i like it. fkat hunting is the worst so if i can find a decent one quickly that would be great #its going to be a new experience. the first month is going to be as rough as any other move but i will have morr control over my #space so that may help. we'll see!

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sensenotsense · 4 months ago

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I need the strength to clean... I have a friend that is supposed to come over tomorrow, but they have bailed the last 3-5 times I invited them so I have no drive

#they dont even pretend to want to reschedule too which is ass esp since they will cancel the day of and like i get shit happens but come on #we are supposed to get korean fried chicken and she wants to see lily the onky reason why im cleaning lmao #txt #and like i get people have lives i dont but i get it or if we do hang out it gets cut short for some bullshit reason like ok #and she complains shes so bored!!! but if im not the one to reach out no plans get made #i wanna sit and crochet or play l&ds tbh

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piplupod · 7 months ago

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i think we should get an undo button in real life, because sometimes you do something on impulse and realize "ah. fuck." and theres just noooo undoing it

#i think i fucked up cleaning this old rolling chair my dad brought home from his workplace #it was covered in workplace related smell and material so i had to clean it down #and i finally did that and. blinks. bro i hosed it down after scrubbing it with a cloth 😭😭😭#its fucking soaked and i rly doubt its gonna dry properly shdjdkdl #BROOOOO WHY DID I DO THAT SBDHFKDL GIRL HELP #I KNEW IT WAS GONNA PROBABLY BE A BAD IDEA BUT I GENUINELY COULDNT SEEM TO STOP MYSELF #my impulse control has been so janky lately 😭😭😭 like I'll hesitate sure and I'll know its a bad idea... but then...#i do it anyways #i think its because i have zero outlets rn for that sort of thing #i need to get back into physically crafting (other than crochet bc theres no much risk taking there)#so that i can make bad decisions and fuck things up but not like... actually fuck things up in a way thats going to rly affect me badly #if this chair rots.... well then I'll be back to not having anything other than a wooden chair for my desk but fjdkdl STILL !!!#i want this chair so bad fhdkdl I've wanted a rolling desk chair for years #praying the sun stays shining today so it can dry properly OUGHHH #im gonna go out there every hour and tilt it around to drain excess water as it settles and hopefully then it'll dry properly #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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ljuerlav · 6 months ago

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how do you ask your roommate to leave surfaces generally in a clean and working order. not even talking about clutter but like oil and grime and shit

#he is my age. at the throats of parents who dont teach their male children to clean #god knows im not perfect at this but at least i have immense social anxiety about putting my own obstructive messes in front of other peopl #id like to state for the record that im not angry or upset over this . just frustrated that im doing a) more home maintenance work than him #and b) more home maintenance work than i did living on my own #and im like 2-3x as busy. get 2-3x less sleep. developing stress conditions etc etc #he does stuff when i ask him to in a good enough kinda way but also i hate asking 👍👍👍👍👍 i hate asking so fucking bad #this close to asking him to just hire a cleaning service on his weeks to clean despite the fact that he makes like almost half of what i do #augh #anyway im fine . ive been crocheting a project due at the end of the month for 4 hours straight sitting on the living room carpet #id sit on my couch but like i have a thing about touching peoples beds and hes asleep on it half the time 😭#incidentally. yes thats why im in the living room instead of my room lmaoooo #ugh ok anyway anyway. ''you live like this?'' yes sorry i just need to talk to him but our schedules are really incompatible l #and im always the one pestering him about stuff like hes never asked me to do anything . so i feel bad. this is my own fault. i know this #just need to complain somewhere because my ass is numb lol this isnt a cushiony carpet

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thecryptidwizard · 1 year ago

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Halfway done with the front panel of one of my other sweaters that I'm trying to make before fall!

I'm using a half double-slip stitch for this sweater :)

#need a new handle for one of my 5 mm hooks though--#the handle was so sticky from being used and nothing would clean it #so once i get the chance im gonna make one out of clay like the one in the picture here #rambles #crochet #crocheting #yarn crafts

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bmpmp3 · 8 months ago

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oh god i have so many projects (explodes)

#im cleaning up and was moving around some doll stuff. why did ufdoll give me so many spare faceplates with their 1/12 blindbox dolls #what am i gonna do with all these faceplates. maybe i should just put like a bunch of weird expressions on em. i have like 8 #and dont ask me about the rest of my bald unpainted eyeless dolls. dont worry about it #and ive been working on a crocheted blanket for like 7 years #and i need to finish up this half 3d printed half wood marudai situation ive been working on #but alas i cannot do my fun projects because i also have. assignmence. AUUUUUUUUHHHHGHHHH

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dandyshucks · 10 months ago

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i think the simultaneously funniest and most frustrating thing abt my brain when things like this happen is that my brain freezes up a bit and can only think of like "aw gee whiz now xyz mundane thing i had scheduled into today won't happen" like girl WHAT there is shit going down and thats what ur thinking about ???

#in emergency situations where i am able to Do Shit i actually am very good at keeping calm though #and doing what needs to be done #in general in stressful situations where im helping other ppl then im such a good person to have around dhdkdl #this came in handy at two of my past workplaces bc i would be able to just do what needed to be done quickly and efficiently #when things got Bad in those places #but shdksl when it comes to situations where I can't do anything or where i dont Know what needs to be done ... augh #then i just shut down a little bit or go numb at least and my brain automatically starts thinking abt mundane and routine things #girl there is a medical emergency happening !!! (''but we've been through this before. several times over the past few months'' says brain)#example a: i feel a little disappointed that i won't get to do crochet with mother like we had planned #example b: i want to go back to sleep even with this all going on #(i feel awful that this is what brain is thinking about rn dhdkdl but. better than incessantly worrying ig? though im doing that too...)#ah well djdlsl I'll go shower so if anything Really Bad happens then at least im clean and dressed and ready to get over to the hospital #dandy.cmd #vent //#medical tw

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