#if im alive in my 30s it will be fucking insane. not because I have a problem with aging but because hats soooo long from now

[isdalinarhot]

You know what. Even though most of my posts are flop posts to the highest degree. Like I’m lucky to break five notes. I don’t care. All my posts will be soooooooo much more valuable when I’m dead. People will pass posts of mine around that are like “need to lick Dalinar’s taint clean pronto” with captions like and this is from the late blogger Luke Isdalinarhot. Gone too soon for this world. Sold to an art collection for 5 thousand dollars. Because artists are always worth more after they’re dead. Da Vinci wasn’t appreciated in his time either

[whyse7vn]

Us -

[ot7 x reader]

AGUST DUI 🛴🔥

7 participants - 7 online

———————————

tae: ok raise your hand if you think yoongi should of died in the crash

namjoon: why would you say that?

tae: jungkook raise your hand

jk: ok

tae: not in real life the emoji please

jk: ok sorry

wait how did you know i raised my hand in real life??

tae: just do it

jk: like nike LOL

tae: i’m going to skin you alive

jk: sorry

🙋🏻‍♀️

tae: why are you a woman

jk: gender is a construction

hobi: construct

jk: control

hobi: we are not playing a game

i am correcting you

jk: oh

tae: connecticut

hobi: stop

tae: i wanted to play :(

hobi: it wasn’t a game can you read

jk: omg i know someone from connecticut

i think

jin: you have no friends don’t lie jungkook

jk: no i swear i do

tae: he does

hobi: don’t act like you know

tae: i know

hobi: who is jungkooks friend then?

tae: jungkook tell this idiot ☠️

hobi: i’m asking YOU to tell me

jk: i don’t know who it is

but i know

i’m going to go insane who is it ohmygod

y/n: jaehyun lmao

hobi: oh

jin: yikes

jk: i’m sorry

tae: how dare she lmao like she didn’t just cook my first born alive by saying that name

jk: she typed it btw

tae: that’s not the point jungkook

i’m throwing up

jk: ur right me too

i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry

y/n: ???

don’t be sorry

jk: >.<

yoongi: lol

jin: tf he laughing at?

yoongi: we’re always talking about jaehyun for some reason

hobi: be fr

yoongi: …

y/n: shouldn’t you be dead from the crash or something

tae: IM SAYING LIKE

jk: maybe he’s still drunk

hobi: LMAOOOO

yoongi: i did not crash

namjoon: he just fell over guys

yoongi: right

jin: ofc the bitch with no license is defending the other bitch with no licence

y/n: typical 🙄

yoongi: why do you know he’s from connecticut

y/n: what????

namjoon: uh??

jin: wasn’t he JUST complaining about how much we talk about you know who…

hobi: kook was right this man is still off the juiceeeee

ha juice by shinee

i’m so funny wow

tae: if we think about it wtf is connecticut

what the fuck is that srsly

i hate that

what does that mean

america is so strange

another white thing i don’t get

i hate white people

jin: ur borderline white

tae: wtf is wrong with you never say shit like that again

ur borderline old

ur borderline dying

AND ur paler than me

like wtf

this poc erasure

someone get him

jk: connecticut more like connectiYUCK 🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢

EWWUUUUUU 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

hell on earth

yoongi: what

namjoon: ?

yoongi: are we talking about again

i just lost my train of thought

hobi: choo choo

y/n: chuu chuu

namjoon: jaehyun…

jk: 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤢🤢

tae: AND we are talking about poc erasure if you even care

you probably don’t

because you’re a racist

just like your father namjoon

jk: yoongi is older than namjoon

btw

tae: ok???

maybe i wasn’t even talking to yoongi

jk: ok i’m sorry

tae: it’s ok son

hobi: who the fuck were you talking to then?

tae: well yoongi but like maybe i wasn’t at the same time yk?

y/n: shut up

jk: yes

y/n: ?

tae: ok raise ur hand if you think hoseok is being unnecessarily mean to kim taehyung the 3rd today

namjoon: anyways

yoongi are you ok??

yoongi: yeah sorry my head is just all over the place rn

forget everything i said

hobi: is this due to your alcohol consumption

or is it your age getting to you LOL

since your old

older than namjoon

jk: older than namjoon

jin: jungkook is 27 btw

y/n: 23 forever

jin: that’s almost 30 yk?

hobi: at least it’s not 31

yk…

like you

jin: ok

jk: ok !!!!

namjoon: yeah i don’t know what you wanted to get out of that one…

jin: kys

ALL of you

hobi: ❤️

jk: love is love

y/n: awoman

jk: awoman

tae: if you all loved me you would send me a stack

hobi: notice how no money is being sent to your account

take that into consideration

tae: how about you consider my fist in you face

ok i take that back

hobi: don’t

y/n: bryson tiller

tae: why not :(

you didn’t even know what i was gonna say hobi >.<

hobi: namjoon tell him to shut up

namjoon: tae please

tae: yeah ok 😔

cuz you know i do NOT want the smoke

he might do me like he did jaehyun 😭🙏🏼

hobi: will you STOP bringing that up

tae: will you send me a STACK?

hobi: no

tae: then NO

namjoon: both of you stop

also where is jimin??

physically i mean

like do any of you know?

yoongi: y/n’s house i think

y/n: no he’s not??

tae: woah

jk: btw that is also my house yoongi

so y/n AND jungkook’s house

yoongi: y/n and jungkook’s house then

y/n: he’s not here

yoongi: but he was

y/n: how do you even know that??

yoongi: i just do

y/n: ok ????

yoongi: ok

jk: ok \ ^0^ /

tae: wait

jk: JIMIN WAS IN OUR HOUSE ?????

jin: keep up ohmugod

jk: LIKE PHYSICALLY IN OUR HOUSE

WHERE I SLEEP AT NIGHT???

y/n: he wasn’t in my room no

if that’s what ur asking

jk: BUT HE WAS HERE???

AFTER HE WAS SO MEAN SO EVIL?!

y/n: it’s been weeks i was gonna talk to him at some point ig

hobi: communication is key!

not key from shinee btw

jk: WHEN DID HE COME????

WHY DID HE COME????

y/n: he came a few weeks ago

august 6th ? i think

to talk about everything and apologise

jk: you let him in?

tae: LIKE…

y/n: yes

jk: and where was i?

y/n: it was a wednesday so ur boxing class?

jk: i’ve been staying back for those classes

so he came late right?

y/n: yeah

jk: did you invite him?

y/n: no he kinda just showed up

jk: and you still let him in??

y/n: yes jungkook

jk: why didn’t you tell me??

y/n: i wasn’t trying to keep it a secret or anything it just a lot

like a lot seriously

i wanted to give both me and jimin some time to process it all before we brought it all back to you guys

but i was going to tell you

all of you

jk: yeah but like it’s been weeks…

namjoon: to be fair i also did talk to

jimin and didn’t tell anyone

jk: namjoon

jin: also did that

hobi: u all know i talked to him so…

jk: guys???

i’m confused like what he said was wrong but you’re all still talking to him

like everything’s ok???

namjoon: he apologised to her kook

jk: FUCK HIS APOLOGY?????

tae you get it right?? you didn’t speak to him right??

tae: no i get it

i get you

i understand fully

but i won’t lie to you

i DID speak to him

on the phone

only for 5 minutes tho

i counted

i just wanted to make sure he didn’t yk like kill himself or something…

you know jimin is weak like that

not calling people who commit suicide weak but like calling jimin weak cuz that’s what he is

jk: TAE?????????????

tae: SORRY SUICIDE IS REAL YK?

AND LIKE IT DOESNT TAKE AWAY FROM THE FACT THAT I STILL WANT TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE

i was just

uh

checking?

namjoon: you can say you were worried about him you know that

jk: SHUT UP???£/8/8/8,&&:&,

NO HE CAN’T

YOU ALL HAVE NO BACK BONE /£2&/&&:&:

NO LOYALTY

HE BASICALLY CALLED Y/N A WHORE AND YOUR ALL FRIENDS WITH HIM AGAIN??????

LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED?????

tae: NO I’M MAD IM STILL SO FUCKING MAD THE FUCK????

FUCK JIMIN I MEAN IT

jk: you are a liar

LIKE

guys what£/£/&/&:&:

i thought you guys were better than this ???

i thought you all cared

jin: don’t be stupid

of course we care

jk: then act like it????

y/n tell them

y/n: jungkook

jk: tell them

in fact

jk added jimin to “AGUST DUI🛴🔥”

jk: tell ALL of them

y/n: jungkook please

jk: y/n seriously

jimin: hey

jk: shut the fuck up

tae: dude

i know ur upset and angry but doing this rn isn’t gonna solve anything

namjoon: he’s right jungkook

ur acting on emotion and not thinking properly right now

jk: IM not thinking properly???

was jimin thinking properly when he called her a slut and then ran away like a bitch?? was he????

namjoon: obviously not jungkook

hobi: but they’ve talked it out and he’s said sorry

jk: HIS SORRY DOESN’T MEAN SHIT

WHAT DO YOU GUYS NOT UNDERSTAND?

his fucking sorry means nothing

him saying sorry doesn’t take back the words he said

or any of the hurt he caused

namjoon: jungkook like she told us they’ve talked about it and he’s apologised

i not sure what more you want

jk: I WANT YOU GUYS NOT TO MOVE ON SO FUCKING FAST??

I WANT YOU GUYS TO AT LEAST TELL HIM HOW FUCKED UP THAT ALL WAS

BOTH PUBLICLY AND PRIVATELY

he should be walking around eggshells around us rn

you guys should be giving him a hard time

not wondering where he is or whether he’s depressed or not

and you wanna know something?

after it all happened she cried for hours

hours

i have genuinely never seen her so upset

she told me not to tell anyone but i have to so guys can fucking understand

and the fact that we didn’t even know that her and jimin spoke???

does that not bother you all?????

the fact that she was “so fine” and “okay” about the whole situation but didn’t tell us that they had supposedly ‘made up’

tae: she said that she was planning on telling us

jk: yeah but she didn’t did she? it’s been weeks

she said they spoke august 6th right?

we are quite literally in a whole new month

and you ALL should know that when she doesn’t tell us things it’s because she’s upset

you should KNOW her

and how she deals with things

you all claim to care but i’m yet to see how

you know i was really excited about this

we were all you know realising

and coming to terms with this

us

i thought that we felt the same

but this has shown me that you guys don’t even feel a quarter of what i do for her

and you probably never will

the way that you all just took her word for her being fine and okay about the whole situation without actually genuinely checking in with her is insane and the way you all rushed to make sure jimin was ok was even crazier

i just

whatever

bye

—

as you can probably tell this was supposed to be released last month but i tried to adjust it as much as i could

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @earthela @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @seokmyballs @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @meowgiz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiislife @lowkeykin @iammeandmeisiam @socksfirstalways @knilvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks @futuristicenemychaos @featjunranghae @jksgirlfrl @yeetedandoboi @stellamalonesolaria @joonsprettygf

#happytimessoon >.<

[twoa-plus]

it’s 2:00am and this is more of a character thing than a genuine theory but *claps hands for the drama* same coin theory. what if both of the stans are bill

or like. a parallel to him. like i said this isn’t a super serious theory i’m mostly just back on my character analysis bs lol

so i haven’t gotten to talk abt this much but i am a firm believer in that there is not a superior stan. from a personality perspective this is obviously entirely subjective, but i mean that there isn’t a superior one when it comes to their objective traits and how useful they are

ford is. ford. i don’t really have to say anything here he’s super smart can play the piano or whatever etc etc. however one thing that i will say that i think is important here is that i am like. 99% sure this man has a higher tolerance to The Horrors than other humans do. dude spent 30 years in that portal and came out pretty much the same level of crazy, and we all saw what happened to fiddleford. i know fidds saw bill take off his exoskeleton or whatever but u can’t convince me that ford traveled the multiverse - with all sorts of monsters and non-3d dimensions and god knows what else - for 3 decades and didn’t see some shit that would make anybody else lose it. like at this point u could tell me this guy could have a casual conversation over tea with cthulu and be fine and i’d believe u

as for stan - and i mean this in the absolute best way possible i love this guy - he’s like the world’s most charismatic cockroach. he’s fantastic with people and just straight up refuses to die. for the first point i don’t just mean this in the conman way, when it comes to the people that actually matter stan always manages to win them over in some way or another (soos, wendy, the kids, ford, etc) and one does not simply survive for a decade on the street without needing the occasional favor from someone who actually likes you. “oh but rico-“ man when u’ve been living as a homeless criminal for a decade and the list of people that want to kill u consists of 1 person and the government u’ve done pretty damn well. anyways as for the cockroach point, he’s alive and has his memories. i don’t even have to say much here stan went through all of That, lived through the series itself including The Literal Apocalypse, metaphorically (something something people are just a collage of their life experiences) died at the end of it all and then came back to life. that’s hardcore as hell man. in a less literal interpretation of the “refusing to die” bit, he’s also just. insanely determined. the biggest example is ofc him never graduating highschool and yet teaching himself god knows how much math and science and whatnot over the course of 30 damn years because he just refuses to believe that he can’t save his brother. stan pines is a force of nature i swear

[additional note while im already ranting about this guy, im not a personal believer in the “stan is just as (academically) smart as ford” theory. first of all i feel like this entire theory is kind of rooted in the idea that he has to be/be on the same level as “the smart one” to have value, which is an idea that the stans’ entire backstory is based around criticizing, and i think stan has something just as if not more valuable than freakish intelligence - raw fucking grit. he wasn’t the one to open the portal back up because of some intellectual advantage, he was the one to open the portal back up because he wanted to, god damn it, and best of luck to you if you’re gonna try and stop him.]

anyways as for the same coin thing, everybody knows the stan part. his casual references to the impending apocalypse, “you’ve been buying gold, right?”, him being such a good conman, etc etc. while i’m already ranting about stan’s determination, bill’s got that too - he’s been trying for like thousands of years to take over the world and he just Won’t Stop. point is there’s a lot of character traits they share

(i know in the original same coin post a pretty major point is stan not making a deal with bill, but i think that could probably be pretty easily explained without the need for divine intervention. the only times bill makes a deal with someone without them summoning him first is after he’s kind of left on a loose end with gideon, and everyone knows stan wouldn’t fall for his lies in the first place)

bill also shares a lot of traits with ford, though. both have some kind of physical anomaly (bill’s eye & ford’s hands), both can see/understand things others of their species can’t, they’re both egomaniacs (listen i love ford but the guy has issues), etc. u could even argue that, at least at the time they meet, they have some kind of connection through their loneliness

so. with the theory of “bill was reincarnated to make up for what he did,” what if it wasn’t just stan? what if he was split in two, and his “reincarnation” is both of them? they’re flawed enough to make it a lot harder for either of them to take over the world (ford’s lack of social skills & stan’s lack of freakish academic knowledge), and they have something bill doesn’t - each other.

bill is alone. that’s his whole problem. he killed everyone he loved, treats everyone new he meets like shit, and now he’s Like That. throughout it all, the one thing the stans have always had - even if it was just in their memory - is each other. “oh but ford-“ shhhh. shhshhshshshhsh. shut up. ford has Problems but i genuinely don’t think he ever stopped loving stan. love is weird, first of all, and secondly he clearly never stopped trusting him. no matter what he might say about stan being a liar or a conman or whatever, who’s the one person he goes to when he’s forced to admit he needs help? ford is a weird guy and has an… odd way of showing it but he loves his family just like the rest of the pines and i will die on this hill

i’ve been writing this for over an hour straight and i think my brain is melting but i’m sure at this point u get the idea. both of the stans, together, serve as a parallel to bill, and the one thing they have that he doesn’t is love. that’s what killed him.

something something killing an interdimensional dream demon with the power of friendship and this gun i found

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

@intertexts OKAY. FINALLY GETTING MY SHIT TOGETHER AND WRITING THIS ALL DOWN SO ITS NOT JUST ROTATING IN MY BRAIN ANYMORE

NEW HAVEN WARDS MARK WINTERS ESSAY (except its more like. stream of consciousness me being insane over him)

>> its been too long, simurgh is too close. she fucking ROCKS half the city with an earthquake before she shows up. ashe runs inside as the roof collapses. his mom is trapped- she had grabbed her phone and some other small essentials and was on her way out when she got pinned by the rubble. ive typed this part out already in another post but as shes yelling at ashe trying to get him to leave, she realizes he wont go by himself so she texts mark . its kind of a shot in the dark- part of her hopes he hasnt evacuated yet so he can come get ashe and get him to safety, but she immediately feels this sense of dread for thinking like that because then that also means he's in as much danger as they are. and she can hear the singing now- some tiny part of her brain logically knows its too late and theyll be trapped by the quarantine protocols anyway, but. they can still get out of that alive. they just need to get there. anyway the important thing here is that the last thing ever hears from his wife is a text that says "ashe athome cant lea e come get hjm"

adding jonesys stupid fucking image in here bc it's so funny to me and is fr how I felt typing this whole thing up for like 4 hours

>> okay going to try my hardest to keep this chronological but i KNOW i will get distracted from that halfway through. starting from the simurgh attack. assuming simurgh attacks look pretty similar to each other, ive been imagining this a lot like the one we actually got to see with the travelers. the notice to evacuate went out in the early afternoon. (im going to say on a wednesday because thats the day i used in my fic and this is OUR AU i get to make the emotionally devastating rules. not that that matters to anyone but me. its a little treat.) so. mark was at work, ashe was at school, i like 2 think ashes mom works in somehting to do with old things or books or whatever so she was probably at work too. her IMMEDIATE thought is to go get ashe from school, because of course it is! (worldbuilding side note i think there are probably evac protocols in place for schools where. first priority is to keep the kids Togehter and get them out first so theyre SUPPOSED to evacuate straight from there and then meet up with their parents when everything is safe. but in a real emergency what parent is going to trust that and just leave their kids safety up to someone else?) she gets to the school and it is absolute chaos with all of the other parents trying to do the same thing. she gets ashe, goes to call mark to tell him where they are and- oh, yeah. she forgot her phone at home this morning. i just. like. the mundanity in that. its a normal morning, she maybe woke up late and had to rush out the door, got to work realized she didnt have her phone, had the thought like "damn thats frustrating. oh well, not like ill need it, ill just get it when im home later" we've all had days like that!!!!!!!!! but it becomes fucking heartbreaking in this situation because it means she now has No Way of contacting her husband to let him know that she has ashe and to tell him not to go to the school (because hes probably thinking the same thing) and to get out and where to meet them when theyre out. she KNOWS its a bad idea, she knows it would be catastrophic if they took too long... but all the other cars are going in the opposite direction, the road back is completely empty, surely they can be fast enough? she knows exactly where she left it, itll take two seconds and hey maybe the roads will be empty enough at that point they can get out even faster. so they fucking RUSH back home. she tells ashe to stay in the car wiht the doors locked while she runs inside.. he is scared and confused and doesnt want to be alone so after. maybe 30 seconds of her being gone he gets out of the car and goes inside.

>> switching to mark pov finally. evac notice goes out, he fucking books it to his car. but because its important to me that hes a little bit of a coward. this is where he hesitates. he knows he should find his family. meet up with them, make sure theyre all okay and they all make it out together. he's also logical. he knows this is a bad idea and his wife's job is closer to the school, shes probably already got ashe and theyre on their way out too. he can just leave. but he hasnt heard anything from her. thats not like her, she would call or something if they were okay, wouldnt she? so he kind of. panics over what he should do. he starts driving, telling himself he'll make up his mind on the road. hes about halfway to the end of the quarantine zone when he gets the text. has a moment of "fuck why are they there?" before immediately deciding to go get them. finds the aftermath of ashe's trigger. ashe is in breaker state, unresponsive except for... why is he laughing. hes sitting on the floor, knees up to his chest hands over his head jsut kind of. staring into the middle distance eyes unfocused quietly loopy laughing like hes totally unaware of the. scene.

>> mark is like. frozen there for a minute obviously horrified and he thinks ashe is having some kind of mental break at the shock and horror (he doesnt. understand that ashe killed her yet) until he goes and tries to get him to stand up and . oh the floor is unstable and bouncy like a trampoline and as soon as he touches ashe's shoulder hes knocked back by a pain in his hand that suspiciously feels like a joybuzzer turned up to 11. okay! fuck! his kid is a fucking parahuman and his wife is dead and the singing in his head just keeps getting louder and he knows what that means and he knows they have to get the hell out of there but hows he gonna do that when he cant get within 5 feet of ashe-

>> i think he just has to like. sit there and talk to ashe. which is a uniquely horrible punishment because it kills so much time in a situation where they need to get out, now, and the whole time theyre in the same room with whats left of a bloody corpse (but he cant think about that right now) and he has to be calm and keep his voice low because every sudden movement makes ashe's powers flare up again in response to a perceived threat- its MESSY, its SLOW its TERRIBLE but he needs ashe to calm down enough that he can actually talk to him and get him out. he eventually does (it feels like hours later, it was probably only like.. 10 minutes) and the weird distortions stop and mark just. runs forward and picks him up and takes him out to the car before ashe can. see what else is in the room.

>> he doesnt even bother putting ashe in another seat in the car he just holds him in his lap as he drives (oh god there are wings in the sky) just. as fast as he fucking can to whatever checkpoint or hospital or safe zone there is for any survivors. theres. not many. enough that the two of them can get lost in the crowd if they try hard enough but . not enough to fill an auditorium. he's maybe got a bunch of really small scrapes or bruises from the process of trying to get ashe to calm down but he doesnt know whether ashe is actually hurt or not so he goes to find some sort of medical attention and the whole time hes thinking "maybe this is a bad idea. i shouldnt tell them ashe has powers what if they take him away" and he gets the same sort of rundown about quarantine and payment that krouse got and mark is just standing there fucking shaking, hes still carrying ashe, he hasnt put him down since they left the house (ashe is still out of it- not because of his powers but because of. everything) and i think thats the breaking point where mark makes up his mind like. fuck this. we cant stay here, we cant go through all of the bullshit protocols, we cant wait that long (he can still hear simurgh in his head- what if shes pushing him to make this choice? is that exactly what she wants? who cares im getting my son somewhere safe)

>> i think mark is really good at. compartmentalizing and pushing down any emotion thats not anger and turning to logic in panic situations rather than emotion. so he hasnt like. fully processed any of this yet. he was more focused on "solve the problem, get out, get safe" to actually think about the fact that. oh my wife is dead. ashe doesnt have a mom anymore. ashe has powers now. how is he gonna deal with a powered kid? he never really cared about capes what does he even do now? i dont think any of this hits him until theyre out of the quarantine zone hiding out somewhere safe (as safe as they can be after. all of that) and his head is quiet and ashe is asleep and he looks down at his phone and sees the text and it all comes crashing down like. oh my god that was real. shes gone. he doesnt even have anything of hers and he never will because their house is basically gone and they can never go back and- FUCK HIM UP!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK HIM UP i want him to have a fucking breakdown . villain origin story moment he realizes nothing is ever going to be okay or normal ever again because theyve been marked by simurgh and hes already broken a huge fucking law how much worse can it get? what else does he have to lose. everything in his life revolves around keeping them safe and keeping ashe out of danger. simurgh be damned if hes going to become an agent of chaos it might as well be on his own terms to protect whats left of his family.

>> i think they move around a lot after that, never staying in one place for too long, never doing anything that make people look at them too closely. mark does a bunch of odd jobs, but its hard to get a job when youre legally dead and have no experience with making a fake identity so. theres a lot of stealing. never anything that would garner cape attention, at least at first, and if people started to get too suspicious theyd just pack up and move again.

>> and then mark does something that DOES draw cape attention. idk what it would be, but it captures the attention of. a guy who knows a guy who works for overlord. hey man you seem like you could use a job. off the books. so he joins up as like a... foot soldier mercenary whatever for overlord. this job is risky- hes essentially a full time criminal now (but what does that matter, he already broke the law), he has to spend extended periods of time away from home, he has to kill people sometimes now... but the money is worth it. he's okay with being a number, a blank face in the crowd, because it means he wont get the immediate fallout if something goes wrong. that gets put on whoever his boss is. ashe is maybe 13/14 by this point, he can take care of himself at home. mark gives himself a limit, hes never going to be away from home for more than 3 days (which he eventually extends into 5 days, which then turns into a week-). he is. really fucking good at his job. hes smart, he can be ruthless when he needs to be, he's efficient. no identity means no friends which means no slacking off on the job. this is all he has, he needs this, so hes good at it.

>> he starts to move up the ranks, take bigger (but never riskier) jobs, and it catches overlord's attention. overlord offers him a promotion. offer being in air quotes here. he lays everything out plain and simple- youre good, youre going to join my personal elite team, i know who you are and why youre running. i can offer you an out, get you and your son (oh god oh fuck overlord knows about his kid) a new life, a new identity, nobody will have any reason to suspect you. and also in order to join you have to take this (cauldron vial!!! + canon parallel to the like. forced experimentation on harttawa)

>> mark doesnt want pwoers. he doesnt want to be a cape. but overlord knows about ashe, knows about their history, and if he turns down this offer theyre both fucked. so logic takes over emotion again and he accepts it, leans into the position, stays as fucking ruthless as ever. but its Different now. hes a cape, he has a secret identity, a name, people are Looking at him now, even if all they see is a costume.

>> silly sidebar for ME here but this period of time is where he meets tide :] forever thinking about ur nhw tidalwave post. fight to maim, not kill.

>> a couple years pass like this and its Fine. ashe is 17 now, mark knows hes fucked up (theyre both fucked up) but hes too deep into this job now to give it up. its kept them safe and in place for this long, he can fool himself into believing they can stay like this . ashe does not have the same train of thought. hes lonely, hes miserable, hes bored, he just wants to have a life! they fight a lot about this. they fight a lot about this and sometimes mark leaves in the middle of it because he gets called on a job so nothing ever gets resolved. they have a particularly rough fight and mark gets pulled away in the middle of it to answer a phonecall, and when he comes back ashe is still pissed but hes just so tired and defeated that hes like "listen. we'll deal with this later, i have to go for a few days, there are groceries in the fridge, do whatever you want, just stay here, be safe, dont be stupid" and then he leaves! and ashe is still pissed and his dad is a hypocrite (why does he get to go out and use his powers and put himself in dangerous situations when ashe gets in trouble for floating the tv remote to the kitchen table while hes eating breakfast, and never gets to leave the house or go to school or have friends or-) . and this is where he makes the decision to sneak out the first time!!

>> he starts sneaking out more often, usually only when he knows mark is gonna be gone for extended periods of time, he gets good at disabling the tinker devices, he has friends!! everything is good!!!! mark finds out when he gets home from a job early and ashe is gone. and he fucking freaks out, hes ready to tear up city streets, hes ready to go on a fucking rampage... but then he hears the window open as he climbs back into his room . its a big like. "oh shit" moment on ashes part, he doesnt think hes ever seen his dad this angry before, he threatens to put bars on the goddamn windows, etc (mark has a reason to be as angry as he does- if anything ever happens to ashe everything hes ever done will have been for nothing. but its still. harsh.)

>> i think once everything cools down from this they do have an actual talk about it that isnt a fight; ashe tells him he has friends now and he just wants to be normal, be a kid, he cant spend anymore time in his room its killing him knowing hes wasting his life like this etc. i think mark maybe reluctantly agrees to letting him go out with his friends (he doesnt know who they are yet, ive GOTTA believe he knows tide hes had to have fought or at least seen the wards before, theres no way he would say yes to this if he knew thats who ashe was talking about) but gives him strict like. dont use your powers ever, curfews and check in texts and a code system and its a little Too Much but ashe is just. giddy at all of it because !! curfews are a thing Normal kids get!! he gets to go hang out with his friends without the looming threat of sneaking out to do it !!!

>> ashe starts using his powers anyway because his friends are capes and !!! he is also technically a cape!! he can help!!!! i think he starts out by beggingggg to go on patrol with them sometimes (i wont even do anything, i just want to see what its like, you guys know i have powers too i can handle myself, dont be like my dad etc etc) i think the wards are pretty reluctant to do that bc they know what its really like but. man. its ashe. he deserves Something. it becomes more frequent and serious and the prt handler tells them they should recruit him.

>> mark is sooooooo fucking against ashe joining the wards. because of course he is he has to be. ESPECIALLY considering. hey. hes a villain, working for one of the most notorious villains in the city, being put in a situation where he has to choose between fighting his son or losing overlords protection is a HUGE NIGHTMARE SCENARIO. (he would choose to say fuck overlord with no hesitation, no way he would even consider the other option, but he also knows what kind of consequences a choice like that would have)

>> hey. actually. that gives me an idea. what if thats exactly the scenario that leads up to the whole trickster thing. overlord wants to be proactive, launch an attack on the wards, they just got a dangerous new member lets go see what kind of powers theyve got. mark obviosuly refuses. overlord does not take being told no very kindly. hey what if this is how mark gets the lizard stuff. instead of getting it as a side effect mutation of his powers, he pisses off overlord, the guy who has a morbid fascination with animal human hybrids and genetic experimentation. ive solved everything!!!!!! (<< guy who is fucking insane. please imagine me with mad science hair and crazy eyes as i am saying this. dr. cross who?)

>> mark effectively goes missing while overlord has him captive, ashe is freaked out because his dad has never left without telling him first, but maybe it was an emergency or whatever... until his hard limit on jobs passes. its been over a week and no contact whatsoever. hes gone. ashe gets fucked up about this

>> mark is unconscious for the entire trickster thing. he was unmasked for the experimentation so when the heroes come to clean up the aftermath they dont recognize him as one of the villains (tide does. tide doesnt tell anyone) and take him to. a hospital rather than prison. he is fuuuucked up when he wakes up. gotta adjust to a WHOLE lot of freaky lizard things. hes kind of out of it, understandably, so nobody... tells him. its only a few days later, when mark is more lucid and can stand on his own two feet without losing balance, and when he can see properly again, tide visits him (tide has been visiting him the whole time, not that he'd remember it much, because who else will. who else will!) tide tells him ashe is missing. he breaks the news as gently as he possibly can because its gonna be a shitshow either way (he knows how mark is gonna react no matter what. waiting doesnt help either because then hes just pissed that he was lied to for days ("you coudlnt even stand, how was i supposed to tell you then?" "i dont know, i wouldve done something. he could be anywhere by now")

>> mark goes sooooo rogue. he goes so very rogue. hes literally got nothing to lose anymore. the wards try to work with him, try to help him, because theyre looking for ashe too, but he thinks theyre too slow, too good, too afraid to do things that actually need to be done. he goes too far and gets put in the birdcage.

>> i think he probably loses it a little bit in the birdcage. hardcore despair depression that turns into just this awful terrible rage. hes mad at himself for not being able to stop it, hes mad at ashe because this is what he WARNED him about for YEARS and if he only would have listened, hes mad at the world, hes mad at SIMURGH . all nhw mark winters knows is be so full of grief and rage at all times

>> breaks out of the birdcage (still insane abt this btw) and goes back on his. sort of rampage. the wards stop him (tide is. retired at this point. that happened while mark was in jail) and they try to talk some sense into him, maybe they get him to slow down just a little bit, enough to tell him what theyve learned (not much). mark and everyone else eventually learn about muse. mark winters worlds most miserable man is watching every single one of his nightmares play out in front of him and he realizes this is what simurgh marked them for. hes watching his son, unmasked, level a fucking town in some gaudy outfit he knows ashe would never wear and hes calling himself muse and thats not what his laugh sounds like and

>> okay im a little more fuzzy past this point. i said this mostly joking before but i DO think there should be a moment where. mark is up against muse and hes trying to talk to ashe like he did that first night to get him out of breaker state and ashe gets one lucid moment where he just starts crying and babbling about losing marks jacket and hes so sorry but that only lasts about 2 minutes before trickster gets control of him again. this is the catalyst for them realizing that yeah, ashe IS still in there and it might be possible to break him out .

>> god. all of that was plot and i didnt even talk about Little Things which are my favorite. heres a collection of Little Things:

>> i want him to keep his weird terrible lizard biology <3 maybe its not as smooth a transition as in canon, maybe hes just got the scales and the eye and not. the tail or infrared sense or whatever. but he Could. as a Treat for Me.

>> i actually... ironically think mark is a better dad in this au than he is in canon. like. dont get me wrong hes still awful and he sucks but. hes working with the knowledge here that no matter what he does he and ashe are still doomed and hes always waiting for the other shoe to drop and hes more scared and theres nothing he can do about it so. he makes more of an effort to Actually Care about his son. before overlord he never wouldve missed a birthday for anyhting. theyre all each other has.

>> that little bit of dialogue i typed up for mark earlier. stay here, be safe, dont be stupid. be safe, dont be stupid. he says that a lot, always in that order. enough that when ashe is with the wards sometimes he'll also say it. dakota "im going to pick up the pizza" ashe from the couch "be safe dont be stupid" (IMMEDIATE recoil as he thinks about it for more than a second because he has an oh god i sound like my dad moment. but everyone else finds it endearing)

>> THE COAT!!!!!!!! THECOAT. i think about the coat a lot. its just. a random one that ashe grabbed from the closet the first time he snuck out. but it was a good size, exactly as baggy as he likes, hey! he found old money in the pocket! so he just like. claims it as his own and neither of them ever say anything about it but its suuuuch. comfort clothing for ashe and he doesnt like thinking about why. it just is. he wears it EVERYWHERE all the time, its the one piece of clothing the rest of the wards never steal beacuse they know its important to him.

>> there is exactly one (1) surviving picture of ashes mom outside of their old house and its a crumpled polaroid mark had in his wallet from when ashe was a baby.

>> he will never admit this to himself or anyone else but. as much as mark is scared for ashe and scared for both of their safety and what it means for them to be simurgh victims... he is also scared OF ashe, even just subconsciously . he has nightmares about finding ashe that day, laughing. about what mightve happened if he wasnt able to break ashe out of that state. about what mightve happened if he had never gotten that text and continued on with the evac protocols. i need that blonde man to be fucking miserable

>> literally always thinking about your tidalwave post. never not thinking about your tidalwave post. i dont even have much to add here other than i really like nhw tidalwave a lot. the aftermath of the leviathan fight makes me crazy even if thats mostly one-sided on tides part.

>> his tinker specialty is power enhancement. he makes devices that make his and other peoples powers stronger or extend their range. the drawback is that the devices need to be Connected to the person using them in some way (thinking about the ports he has on his back in canon. his gauntlets clamp down on his forearms. overlord had him make each of the capes under his power something that enhances them too so theyve all got little. gadgets embedded in them somehow) (begs the question can he also make things that dampen powers? is this falling too far into Trump category?)

>> he got ashe his headphones as a birthday present when he was like... 15 . their fights had been getting more frequent as he had to be away from home more and ashe was fully in his angsty teen "i hate my dad" phase, but mark had been working w overlord for like a year at that point and money wasnt as much of an issue anymore so he got ashe like. the most high quality noise cancelling headphones he could possibly find.

okay i think thats all. its nearly 1am lmao!!!!!

[arsenal-womens-1]

Prompts

Please ask for one if you want

If they are blue they are in the process of being written

1.Iv fucked up

2.Im sorry im not the person you thought i was

3.Why did you leave

4.Thyer lying to you

5.Don't touch me

6.Why would you say that

7.You saw that

8.I didn't mean it

9.I was a kid

10.“You look like hell” “i feel like it”

11.You don't remember me

12.I don't know who you are anymore

13.This isn't what it looks like

14.“Do you trust me” “i don't know”

15.I think i'm seeing things

16.Send help

17.What the hell is happening to me

18.There's so much blood

19.You said you knew where we were going

20.Are you seriously stuck right now

21.How can you love someone for 7 year then not

22.I love you

23.Its 2:30 am

24.If i matter that much then why do it

25.Are you clinically insane

26.You're 16!

27.I never got to say goodbye

28.You don't see me

29.This is why we can't have nice things

30.You could have died

31.Do you regret it

32.Tell me i'm wrong

33.Lie to me then

34.We need to talk

35.Are you drunk

36.How much of that did you hear

37.What happens if i accept it

38.Is there a reason that you are both naked in bed

39.I won't let you bleed out

40.Tell me at least apart of it was real

41.Let's go on a walk

42.What's that

43.She's dead

44.You and me against the world

45.Promise me

46.You came home

47.You came

48.Im at the hospital

49.There's no heartbeat

50.Go be a superstar

51. My mom misses you

52.what if i say no and i come with you

53.I didn't know where else to go

54.I'll never be that me again

55.You deserve better than me

56.I don't want to understand i want you to stay

57.Don't let me lose you to

58.For what it's worth i really im sorry

59.Step out that door and i swear we are done

60.What right did you have from keeping it from me

61.Running seems to be all your good at

62.Your not sorry you'll never be sorry

63.Cry me a fucking river

64.The smart people are talk it's time to shut up

65.I want you to die there i said it

66.Im i that unlovable

67.Please don't make me answer that

68.I'm like 99% sure this is illegal

69. I no apologies for how i chose to repair what you broke

70.You never think the last time is the last you think you have forever but you dont

71.Gay not blind

72. “ because she’s a girl!” “She’s a girl”

73.Run away with me

74.Stop trying to save me

75.Oh don't stop on our account

76.Visiting hours are from 4:00 to 9:00

77.Id ask you to stay but i don't like you

78.Something about you makes me want to commit extreme violence

79.Your too young to hate this world

80.Were designed to be disposable

81.Her blood is on your hands

82.Your smile isn't as bright as it used to be

83.Same time tomorrow

84.You were supposed to talk me out of this

85.Do you remember this you give it to me when we first got together

86.And it's another tuesday what's your point

87.It's almost like your still alive

88.You'll be free soon

[spacehostilityy]

NNT Rewatch s2ep1-6

(This was written weeks ago but was in my queue. I am moving back to my college town Saturday so busy days are to come but now I have things to procrastinate 😈)

So YAYAYAY time for season 2 (my fave season overall) !! I’ve rewatched this one before, so i actually remember some of this lol

Ban: I quit

Meliodas: your face is the only joke we can handle

HE GOT HIS ASS DAMN

i love both of diane’s orange fits, but s1 leotard hits different

i have thots abt the introduction of power levels that will be told beneath the cut

i mean it’s all very dragon ball (which i love, but in a very different way). I feel like they are just better executed in manga format, because saying the numbers out loud just kinda breaks up the flow of dialogue and action. Plus the numbers never stay accurate since the characters are always powering up and nakaba lowkey just stops using them at one point. so like assault mode!Meliodas has a power of 142,000. BUT he defeats enemies with powers higher than that and is shown to gain even more power. But this is the highest number we have for him. Overall, theyre clunky, not updated enough to be accurate, and just kinda cheesy :/ I feel like plot could have been added to justify and explain the eye of Balor (AKA Drole if i remember correctly) but it’s just used as an excuse to quantify the characters’ strength since this season is mainly focused on physical and emotional growth, as seen by the Ishtar Arc (one of my fave arcs hehe)

merlin’s friendship with hawk is actually so cute tho

so Meliodas’s beginner stats (still missing his powers) are magic 400, strength 960, spirit 2010. The way I see it, his insane spirit strength could mean one of two things: bitch is just hella determined in his quest to end their curses and protect his friends (likely) or merlin taking away his power only affects his strength and magic since spirit has to do with your mind (also likely) anyway what do y’all think?

how the fuck is gowther’s strength 500??? The average person who can lift 50-100 lbs has a strength of 30. HOW IN THE FUCK?? IS GOWTHER SECRETLY SWOLE????

Meliodas being like “no idk who the ten shadows could be haha” when he and merlin literally formed the sins to fight them and HE WAS THE LEADER OF THE 10 COMMANDMENTS is so funny like so tru king lie to their faces

the first thing Zeldris says is “3000 years... please tell me that he’s still alive” which tells me two things: 1) he doesn’t know about Meliodas’s curse, which could explain why estarossa kills him when he’s just going to come back a rival to the throne of the demon king and 2) the listed life expectancy of 1000 years for demons is probably not accurate lol

maybe it’s driven down due to number of battle deaths like the mortality rate of the middle ages lol

we are introduced to a demon who hopes mel is alive, shares a voice actor, AND HAS THE SAME FACE yeah the brother coding is very thick

AJSDBJKBHJEBFNWKFH YESSS THIS IS MY ALL TIME FAVE INTRO SONG AND ANIMATION

ban’s refusal to get jericho’s name right makes me laugh every time

Jericho: is scared and runs to Ban

Ban: 🤨 yeah. i don’t remember asking you to grab my arm🙄

im sorry but king rlly was a bad fairy king like mans didnt even know the forest was there 😭 its ok tho i love that for him

King hating Ban at first bc he “killed elaine and destroyed the fairy kings forest” only for Ban to pull THE BIGGEST uno reverse on him will never not be funny

wait does that mean ban is technically the 4th fairy king and king is both the 3rd and the 5th bc that would be rlly funny and does happen quite a bit historically

I love how as much as a smug asshole Ban is, he’s not rubbing it in King’s face and is showing him he’s still his friend

so if Gil is Margaret’s guard and Griamore is Veronica’s, does that mean Howzer was Elizabeth’s ?? bc that would be so fucking funny

Helbram got King’s ass with “and you’re short”

KASBDFNJBSDKF HE LOOKS SO GOOFY😭

MY BABYGIRLS ARE HEREEEE

Best girls Melascula and Derieri fr

i love that they said slader is gay, how can we let the audience know and then gave him the smoothest, gayest voice imaginable

merlin calling og gowther a great magician when we know he was the one to train her is actually so sad, i want to give baby merlin a hug

slader is hot, thanks for coming to the ted talk

how the fuck does he walk like this tho??

is there a reason i just don’t remember why they never really bring up albions again or do they just ~disappear~ conveniently from the story lol

So the whole concept of sacred treasures is really cool to me because they are clearly something unique to the Sins, despite all of the sacred treasures being very different and made of different materials. I mean Gowther’s is straight up made of light Still, them having weapons that serve as a constant and grow with them as they become more powerful is just a neat concept to me. I just wish we could have seen Ban use Courechouse more than just a few episodes. There really isn’t a plot reason he couldn’t have had it beforehand.

Gerheade being a bitch to Ban bc he’s a human makes literally no sense when we learn her backstory with Rou. Like NO sense at all lol

I honestly love that Meliodas destroyed the albion on his own. Like yes, he is my OP blorbo BUT he’s also supposed to be incredibly powerful in canon, which we haven’t seen him go all out with an enemy yet. Not only does he know all about albions (bc he’s a demon), but as leader of the 10 Commandments, he probably was on the controlling side of the golems. Then, as a member of Stigma, he fought against them. Not to mention, this is when he finally gets Lostvayne (the DEMON sword) back. This moment for me is when he gets to show off the perks of him being a powerful and high ranking demon. Might fuck around and do a full post later on Meliodas’s relationship to his own race and what/who he is lol

Ban screaming “you bitch!!” is... a wonderful experience

Yass king (hehehehe get it? bc his name is king? hehehe)

Galand petting Gloxinia is actually so cute lol

Merlin covering Arthur’s eyes 😭😭 she’s his mom fr

“its been a while meliodas” oop galand just let the Meliodas is 3000 years old cat out of the bag ehehe

(stay with me bc im about to get delusional) WAIT so galand says “to think that after all this time has passed youd still be in that form” in this essay i will prove that Meliodas looks like a young teenager because he essentially is biologically young for the demon race. Galand doesn’t know Mel was cursed, so he would think that he had aged in the past 3000 years. Plus, I think the demon king’s possession of Meliodas AND Zeldris can be (somewhat) compared to Sariel’s aging up of Solaseed. Anyway, i feel like this can support my hypothesis of Zeldris and Meliodas are just babies who will eventually look like adults. Also, I think them being super young just enhances the angst quite well.

everyone is fucking terrified of galand but hes just a silly foolish little fellow to me lol

ban and king being brothers-in-law makes my heart happy like theyre so cute

Ban threatening Gerheade and actually being pissed and serious has suddenly reminded me that if i saw a grown ass man who couldn’t die and was a 7 foot tall violent alcoholic i would be fucking terrified

like a demon 14 year old? creepy ig but not a 7 foot tall masochist with an 8 pack

I love how hard Diane always goes for the ones she loves, she’s just so devoted and passionate Best Girl tm behavior

*Merlin being incredibly confidant and nonchalant starting a proposition*

Meanwhile Merlin’s thoughts: SHIT SHIT I HAVE 10 SECONDS TO THINK BEFORE EVERYONE I LIKE DIES

Meliodas doing the same thing Hendy did by reattaching his fucking arms using Darkness and the sins still being like wait?? is Meliodas?? a... demon ??? 🤨

okay so we DO see him in this mode again. But what is it called? and why does he become no thots head empty? its not like he died. and even in assault mode, he has thoughts and emotions (when they’re not stuck in purgatory) 

Im ngl, i forgot everything about this episode entirely lol

obvi i hate that derieri died, but at least the souls she fucking ate got returned lol

do we think arthur has a tiny teenage gay crush on meliodas? Discuss.

(the answer is yes ehehe)

gowther walking around with his dang a lang swangin hehe

Gil crying in annoyance and defeat as griamore and howzer bicker is literally so hashtag real

HENDYYY MY BABYGIRL IS BACK BAYBAYYYY

very suddenly realized that Hendy’s probably only like in his 30s. Mans is just not that old

exactly 3 seconds after I had that though Howzer calls him old man LOLLL

i forgot about hendy’s childhood trauma. damn. thats actually rlly sad :/

look how cute he is tho 😭😭

hendy and dreyfus are in love. thanks for coming to another one of my ted talks

so do we think dreyfus is half druid (and zaratras is full) or zaratras is half druid? i mean they’re half brothers but only one is a called a druid sooo

IM SORRY BUT THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SCREENSHOT ASDFFHSLDH elizabeth scandalized, meliodas accepting his fate, slader leaning in closer and blushing ITS JUST SO GOOD

The ass shot of Diane 🤨😑

Damn Idk how i never realized that all of them pretty much only call Meliodas captain. Merlin, Ban, and Elizabeth are the only ones who will call him Meliodas, but even merlin and ban typically go with captain.

“im a giant, why arent you afraid of me?” hes a fucking demon. lol

[gale-dekarios]

5, 27 and 34 for game asks!

hiiiii :DDD thanks for stopping byyyy

5. Most memorable gaming moment?

oh, absolutely the githyanki creche fight from bg3.

everybody was dead except astarion, who was a thief subclass rogue. you don't need to know the subclass except that they get two bonus actions instead of one.

everyone except two githyanki melee fighters were still alive. instead of doing the normal thing and reloading, i decided i was going to see if i could pull it off just with astarion.

what i ended up doing was, i'd get astarion to use a bonus action disengage, bonus action dash, sprint to the opposite end of the room, turn around and shoot them with his bow or a fire bolt. they would then be forced to use a full action to dash towards him because they had no ranged weapons, and would have to wait until their next turn. the problem with this plan is that they could never reach astarion to actually hit him, but also their AC was high enough that astarion, especially without sneak attack advantage or damage, very rarely hit them. meaning i spent a whole HALF HOUR running around that one fucking room with astarion and these gith only sometimes hitting them and doing the tiniest amount of damage when i did.

i managed to KILL THEM, and i WON THAT FIGHT, only to get caught in the vlakiith "kill the person inside the artefact" cut scene, and i had one spell scroll of revivify left. which meant after ALL THAT, i had to reload anyway.

big L for charlie.

27. A popular game that you just can’t get into.

animal crossing. i really dislike slow milestone/farming games. same with stardew valley. i find that kind of thing really really boring. repetitive stuff really grates me, it's why i'm kind of stuck trying to finish dragon age inquisition because i know i need to wrap up the companion stuff, but thinking about "go to this place, pick up thing", "go to this place, kill this person", three, four, five times in a row, it just reeeeeally puts me off.

and the thing is like, i've played animal crossing, in fact, im pretty sure i still have a good 30 or something hours in it. but that was mainly because i have friends i played it with that had been playing it for years upon years and they really helped me blast through a LOT of the upgrades really quickly, but i mainly treated my island as a way to piss off one of my friends who really likes her place to look nice and organised and for everywhere else to look nice and organised (and cute), but after a while doing bits like having as many toilets as i could scattered around my island and stealing as many flowers as i could from hers didn't justify the amount of fun i wasn't having playing the game, and so i stopped.

what's downright hilarious though is my rng in that fucking game because despite not giving less of a shit about it, apparently i have at least... three...? incredibly rare campers on my island at any given time (apparently) (i wouldnt actually know but thats what they said, and they seemed pretty shocked about it so.)

but yeah, resource management, organising, farming, slow gain milestones, no clear, structured story, repetitive gameplay, it's like everything i hate to be in a game all in one.

34. funniest gaming moment

not sure if this means something i did or something that happens in a game that i find funny, either way, the amount of inside jokes i have about assassins creed odyssey's alexios with my friends are insane, (all of which are non sensical both with and without context), and the eagle bearer shoving the cyclop's obsidian eye up a goats anus still catches me off guard and makes me lose it every single time.

[astralmarionette]

THIUGHTS ON THE GUILD GO! I loved them sm they were my fav faction and all the characters make me deeply insane I am WAITING for them to come back they have to asagiri set up too many plot points not to bring them back. Sigh. my favs r lucy n poe n mitchell n hawthorne n steinbeck but I like all of them

Omg omg okay i LOVE thr Guild I spent like 30 minutes last night trying to predict the different Guild members because Autism. (I FUCKING LOOKED UP MARk TWAIN BC I WAS LIKE U CANT HAVE AMRRICAN AUTHORS AN NOT HAVE MARKY YKW??? LIKE HES LItERALLY BROUGHT UP IN EVERY SINGLE LIT CLASS IN AMERICA BRO and nothing came up OU IM SO MAD)

BTW, I tend to use a first name basis with authors btw theyre actually all my best friends i know them on a deeper level (my mom said that i need to seek help today, this is what happens when all yr friendships are superficial as a kid methinks)

anyways. here are my thoughts:

Mr Francy Pants (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald): i wasn't too opinionated on him til I learned his ability (like i said we need to stop letting white ppl get rich bro...) and then i was like i need this guy dead and then i learned his motive and i was like oh my god hes literally just a guy he wants nothing but to mAKE HIS WIFE HAPPY OUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH so he slays actaully i hope hes alive :((

Louisa May Alcott: LOMLLLLLLLL i love little women so im extremely bias towards her but wtv when Francis was going on his lil rant abt owning her and everything i was like woah now careful abt how you speak to my girl

Nathaniel: Lord....forgive me...... HES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FINE OH my GODDDD Nathaniel was made for the girlies with complicated relationships with religion i fear (ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME )

Margaret: love me a woman who dresses like that okay but im fairly certain the actual woman was racist soooo kinda mixed feelings?? but the character is amazing and perfect (ignoring the restoring her family's honor.........) and i actually loved her accent lol it was southern enough to be southern but not too southern to be fake lol southern accents actaully arent always there for my area lol they come and go and are stronger when angry/ come out stronger on certain words or phrases loll

Lucy: OUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH seeing that she got caught PAINED ME LIKE NOOOO ATSU WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO GO AND SAVE HER BUT NOW I FEAR HES FORGOTTEN IN ALL THE EVERYTHING GOIONG ON OUGHHHHHHHHHH

Anne is SOOO Cutie Pie too btw and I love that one she looks like Anne of Green Gables (obvi) BUT ALSO Raggedy Anns!!!!!

Marky Mark: HES SO CUTE ACTUALLY ???? I love his "im just here for the fun of it" attitude that was rlly nice AND HUCK AND TOM ARE SOOOO CUTE and i love the fact that hes a gunsmith despite im pretty sure the book characters he brought to life and real life author being like these scrappy lil southern boys lolll i like that they didnt go the kenji route with him and have him be like a (read this in a southern accent btw) lil farmer boy with good intentions for everyone :D type character !!!!!! love him 10/10 scrunkly

John Steinbeck: his grape thing freaked me the fuck out the first time he did it i was so thoroughly gagged like...... hes cute but in term of design he and Francy look soo similar I got tired of these basic ass white men sorry TvT (looking at them made me feel like i was watching hetalia again LMAOOO) hes scrunkly poo too tho and i love his quirk (mha gagged with quirk im sooo sorry)

Lovecraft: He rlly puts the love in Lovecr....Im gonna stop there sorry :( that sounded jsut as bad in my head LMAO I LVOE HIM i love the fact that him turning into Kraken is just. smth he can do. not his quirk hes jsut like that. (okay actually he didnt write Kraken so idk what the fuck he turns into but he just like me fr) i love his absolute apathy to everything he rlly is sucha girl like he just wants to sleep fr !!!! he had empty eyes and long lucious hair and thats enough to make me love you so i literally DONT CARE bout NOTHIGN ELSE !!!! 10000/10 hes so fine omg....

Melville: hes actually so chill. i like him! he had honor and standards that he upheld himself and i heavy respect that! going down w yr ship is like the easiest way to gain my respect cuz that troupe >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

AND LAST BUT ABSOLUTELY DEFINETELY NOT LEAST:

Edgar Allan Poe:

do I, Dorian Nico di Marionette (my legal Tumblr name), even need to say anything about how much I love this man. I'm not even just talking about the bsd character. I'm talking about the actual author too. He's literally so cool. Like so cool. He came, he lived, he fucked around and found out, and he died!!! He is literally everything I wish to be. Cool, Autistic, Mysterious, Silly. And now specifically the character: I love his need for praise bc ME tOO. I love that he had given himself ONE PURPOSE and that purpose was to beat Ranpo and give him the mystery of his life like yes girl devote your entire being and existence to that ONE (1) man !!!!!! (me) (we need help)

i love that he has a pet Raccoon esp since the general agreement is that he died of rabies like...... ( i personally think he was murdered but idk... ijust feel like someone didnt like him bc he accomplished alot and they probably couldn)

he and ranpos lil friendhsip warms my lil heart to like................... like i said in my tags they remind me of Hikaru and Kaoru in a way where their world was "us" and "not us" and like they are the only ones who can keep each other on each others toes and constantly getting better and giving the ultimate form of praise (theres nothing like getting praise from someone in your field of work, esp someone that you regard as "better than you") and thats so.......... (and if i say codependcy (I WILL PUSH CODEPENDCY ON EVERYTHING BRO I NEED TO SEEK HELP))

anyways these are my excessive thoughts i need help lol

[laymedowninsheetsoflinen]

I posted 19,320 times in 2022

35 posts created (0%)

19,285 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kingscrown666

@sneez

@vampireftm

@the-moon-loves-the-sea

@wanderlust-t

I tagged 19,312 of my posts in 2022

#ofmd - 1,980 posts

#the sandman - 1,258 posts

#art tag - 1,221 posts

#the witcher - 1,132 posts

#hotd - 758 posts

#important - 750 posts

#dracula - 742 posts

#greta van fleet - 742 posts

#gentlebeard - 677 posts

#dream of the endless - 592 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

i don't think i've seen mentioned how unfair on the velaryon kids their bastard status is. like, hearing about it constantly aside, i think it's really messed them up

the fact that jace & luke (& joffrey) look so much like their dad, the fact that they know who he is - are close to him even -, & have seen how happy he & their mum are together seems to make the situation worse. i think it would be less painful for them to *not* know who their father is rather than having this close relationship with him, despite rhaenyra never outright telling them even though they know (how could they not)

& then this is exacerbated by harwin's death. like, imagine finding out that your father has been burnt alive - a fucking horrific way to go to make matters worse, he didn't die heroically in battle as they might expect or even of an illness -, & then you're told that 'no. the family of your father is not your family because i will never outright tell you who your father is, even though you know (& i know you know), & i had you whilst married to another man. he is not your family, so you cannot mourn him publicly, or be seen mourning him'

i think it's genuinely cruel that they have to go through that, & definitely leaves them with these pent up feelings of rage & grief that they have no outlet for.

simultaneously, i think that's also why they cling to rhaenyra so much: they know that she's their mother. she definitely is, & they're allowed to be close to her - meant to be. &, as close as jace & luke are to rhaenyra, i think there must also be some resentment for the fact that their mum has inadvertantly made their lives that much harder - not just politically but personally

(inspired by this gifset: https://www.tumblr.com/pedropcl/702641919927500800/house-of-the-dragon-s01e07-driftmark-dir?source=share)

7 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

#4

so i've just finished Moon Over Soho & i can't get the idea of patrick grant as nightingale out of my head, like...

See the full post

7 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

#3

ready to be disappointed by the uk <3 peace & love

12 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

#2

absolutely obsessed with jacob anderson's louis voice... like it's so smooth & rich im so not normal about it

21 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

sorry but i just had the insane thought of what if hamlet sees morpheus tagging along with death when he dies as a manifestation of 'for in that sleep of death what dreams may come'

30 notes - Posted August 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[blurays]

..

i dont know i feel bad for myself all the time probably too much but i feel like on like a logical objective whatever level it actually is like Sad to get diagnosed with cancer when ur 20 and then round out being 25 by having your dad die. and that is excluding my mom's suicide attempt because that was basically just a horrible traumatic 2 weeks that everyone pretends never happened... like god i have been so fucking miserable for five years it's like. kind of insane right and i was telling myself i needed to get it together because ive had a couple years to recover from being sick but at this point it's really like what the fuck im so sad and i regret so much and like

i keep getting told Oh you've been given the gift of life yk you were diagnosed with something bad and you're alive and it's like okay but everybody else gets to not worry about that and gets to not have this happen to them and the way he died makes everything so much worse like it did in fact, never get better for him and im so much like him like literally what is the point he lived miserably until he died in a sad way i dont want to die really but i dont want that to be me

like absolute best case i have to spend 25-30 trying to like become a normal functioning person meanwhile other people are like. actually living im like so behind on being an actual normal human i feel like it's already over

[moonjxsung]

HELLAUR POOKIE I MISSED YOU RAHHHH it has been a serious hot minute since ive been back here hello everyone hello star hello every single 85 anons (woah thats a lot) RAHHH first of all i reread all of your anon asks and your personal updates on your blog and im really upset to hear that youre taking down all of your small drabbles and requests (rip my favorite minho biker story <//3) but honestly i totally do understand where you stand on this and i respect your opinion im just glad youre still here and staying with us !!! (im chaining up your ankles and keeping you here forever who's in who's basement now huh !! yeah thats what i thought !!! [we have conjoined basements])

I MISSED YOU STAR RAHHH i was going through yet another week of "oh shit i think my mental health is depleting but im going to pretend that its not at a critical level right now and immerse myself in studies and hope it goes away" but in fact it did not go away and i dont know how i feel right not BUT ITS OKAY because im rewatching komi cant communicate and i made my 84th spotify playlist on my fifth spotify account and i used to use 4 spotify accounts during 2022-2023 so this is probably like my 600th smth playlist but yk!!! (i made a total of like 30+ this year so far im goign crazy star help me)

speaking of i shoudl send you my new playlist on discord ALSO i saw you and an anon talking about 505 RAHHHHH ARCTIC MONKEYS <333333 i used to be a huge arctic monkeys fan but now im getting back into them i literally have a 505 phase RIGHT NOW ive been listenign to it on loop !!! idk why im so energetic right now rahh i missed you lots oh yeah also !!! my $50 temu package arrived and i like freaked out about it for like a solid 15 minutes then proceeded to lose my ring and brand new keychain in like the next 2 hours (im so upset) its okay though cs they were like 50 cents each i can rebuy it !!! (im still upset) star im not kidding im serious when i say ive spent over 90 bucks on temu during hte past like 3-4 months please help me star im going insane my friends keep saying that im such a loyal temu customer that atp the company is going to start recruiting me to be one of their asian workers in china and ill be enslaved earning two pennies a day for the rest of my life

did you knwo peppermint candy is good

~《☘️》

HIIIIIIIII POOOOKIEEEEE RAHHHHHH I MISSED YOU SO MUCH HOW ARE YOU HOW’S IT GOINGNTHTJFJDKDKDJ I will gladly remain shackled to the confines that are tumblr. I love it here (mostly) I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH RAHHH‼️‼️‼️‼️

I’m SOOOO sad about my shorter drabbles (biker!minho story was literally my fav one by FAR oh my god) but hopefully they can pick up again in the future 💔💔 fuck you wattpad thieves. We all booed !

ANYWAYS I MISSED YOU TOOOO I was also having a shitty mental health week and I’ve just been insanely busy like I haven’t had a single second this week to just sit down and take a fucking breather!!!! But we made it to the weekend and I’m alive RAHHHH star lives to see another weekend of interacting w her beloved anons and consuming kpop content 💯💯 I hope you’re doing better though my sweet angel!!!! April has been so shitty but I know we’re gonna make it out of it alive somehow 🫶 ALSO YES SEND ME ALL THE SPOTIFY PLAYLISTS I NEED SO MUCH NEW MUSIC TO LISTEN TO ‼️‼️ I’ve been listening to the arctic monkeys nonstop again bc I was talking about them on here I LOVEEEE HOW WE’RE BOTH BACK IN 505 PHASE SOOOO REAL

PLELWKAKSLDKSKEKDKR RHE TEMU PART 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 CRYINGNTJTNGNFMEMEJ THAT’S me at the fucking kpop store near my HOUSEEEMEKEKE I SPENT $200 THERE TODAY AND IM GOING BQDK TOMORROW BC THEY GOT THE NEW JHOPE KEYCHAINS AND BEANIES IN STOCK I NEED RHEM SOOOO BAD. YOU AND ME RETAIL THERAPY TOGETHER ERA WHEN 😍😍😍😍🫶

Also peppermint candy is good but not as good as you I love you so much RAHHHHH I MISSED YOU SO BADDDJEKSKSKSKS

[not-rp-hopefully]

I'm actually so sick of my mom. Can someone just get her a fucking therapist so she can learn at least the very very basics of emotional maturity. I'm going to go absolutely insane.

Like. You're allowed to be upset. You can be mad. You can have a bad day. You don't have to push onto ME. I didn't do shit to you, yet you're getting all pissy over every single tiny little things, are you serious? Also the fucking powertripping. Purposely making your children feel weak and powerless, that they have no worth or anything, that the only reason they're alive is because you actively chose not to literally fucking kill them and you're doing some sort of favor by keeping us alive?? If she only knows how much that logic fucked me up and made me actively suicidal, how much it absolutely ruined my mental health and just me altogether, naybe sje could actually shut the fuck up,, God I actually want to commit right now but nooo, we have to go to fucking school where all my friends are fucking fake because they neveee fuckinf even talk tk me if i dont initiate, maybe i am ss worthless as they say, weeeo yay im crying now

I can't even take my phone to school to listen to music on the way because my stupid fucking phone never works, i gave it an entire fucking night to charge, and it went from like 20ish percent to only fucking FOURTH FOUR PERCENT,, FUCKINF 44%,,, and cuz it runs out of battery like it's a fucking race it's already almost at just 30, god why does everything hsye me

Andywsys I'm gonna be on my way to have to terrible fucking day bye

[blissfali]

closing remarks: do u ever feel...like a plastic bag.... drifting through the wind... wanting to start again....

I have so much to talk about bare with me for a second

when tony was stabbed i srsly thought i was gonna have like a physical reaction idk if it was from all the coke i drank but it seriously took me out. i just. fuckk. i thought that was it for him i was so scared you have no idea. while this movies cgi was very questionable at times esp in the beginnign there were so many deeply visceral scenes that completely tore right through me. nebula being torn apart was one of my alltime favorites its SOOO god. gamora's death. Peter fucking DYING IN TONY'S ARMS WHICH ILL GET TO IN A SECOND. this movie did a great job at completely killing my emotionally. if i hadnt seen all the movies leading up to it there still wouldve been at least one scene to get me terribly

AND THAT LEADS ME TO MY NEXT POINT: dudeee. watching everything that lead up to this movie was such a good idea im so glad i didnt skip anything it was sso worth it in the end. watching all these characters i like and some i dont like come together in one scene was sooo awesome. like it feels like everything paid off. i just. Fuckk dude.

Peter and tony. tony and peter. they had so many good moments dude i gotta kill myself. Obviously the cake is peter's death. ill be so real ive seen a lot of scenes from this movie towards the end like as clips or memes throughout the years but even tho ive seen that clip like 80 million times, at this point after getting to know and deeply love the characters it hurt so much worse than i couldve ever imagined. i wish i couldve experienced it first hand but tbh i still had an insane reaction to it. tony going into shock immediately after got me. Theyre so father son i need a doctor. i need this scene implanted into my brain. the scared "youre alright" from tony. peter Apologizing, likely for nothing and just because he didnt know what to do and Thats why he was sorry, but to me felt like he was saying "im sorry i boarded the ship". you know like a very small thing in such a big grand situation. cause it never mattered...

Ive been spoiled a little bit on like what happens but i was so sure that when the snap happened that tony went with them. i had no idea he was still alive and i think thats suchhhh a good thing to do because tony is like. Hes a bitch to get along with hes not great at loving people and when he does this one time it gets ripped apart right in front of him. i cant wait see how he moves on from this. cause i dont think its gonna look pretty

thanos' motive is interesting but it is like. a bit shallow i dunno. i feel like it couldve been Better i understand it and i like it but its just too. small? for a guy whose supposed to be like big and grand. whatever

i really liked that movie guys. It wasnt my favorite in the beginning bits but the last 30 minutes or so honestly trump every single mcu movie before it. Because of this i have decided:

rating: infinity/10

i needddddd a doctor i need to be surgically implanted into this movie's DNA. im gonna watch endgame in a little bit i just need a second to. To process

ITS TIME FOR INFINITY WAR.

im gonna liveblog in my notes app as much as i can ^_^ stay tuned...

[castiowl]

i am so close to going full tanya harding on my psych practice’s knee so i just need to rant

first of all i’ve had 9 fucking MH professionals to deal with medication management in the last 2 years. NINE. the longest i had one was for about 7 months, which thankfully was the first one i had after my mental health crisis in 2019 so i was at least able to get my meds figured out and be pretty stable before the fucking Great Psychiatry Exodus where every single provider decided to leave the fucking practice they were at after one (1) whole session with me.

the last three i had, i told them my bad luck with providers and how they all leave the practice and i swear to god all 3 of them said “oh haha well i’m not leaving any time soon!” and then they left LMFAOO

the last 2 i had were from the same practice so i decided to switch to a different practice. especially after my most recent provider was only there for 6 months before leaving. clearly something weird going on.

new practice seems great. easy to use website and so easy to set up an appt. had my first appt, once again stressing that i’ve not had the same provider twice in a row in a year and a half now. provider was super nice and was like wow! that sucks! well i’m not going anywhere :-)

i get an email before my second appt saying i have $250 to pay still from my first session and if i don’t pay it, the appt will be canceled. what the fuck. then i figure out they don’t have my correct insurance information which is partially on me, but i always forget what falls under major medical vs behavioral health because i have two different insurances for those. so i call and explain and give them the correct info. i guess it was on me for not confirming that my appt wouldn’t be canceled….but i show up for my appt (online waiting room) and my provider is online but she never connects with me. i waited a full 45 mins and then she signs off. i was like ??? okay???

so i call the office and they’re like oh your appt was canceled because you didn’t pay. so first of all 1) you didn’t tell me the appt was canceled. fuck you for that. would’ve been nice to receive a fucking email or something so i don’t show up like a jackass 2) i explained that i called to fix the problem so what the fuck? and 3) now i’m out of medication so i need to see a provider…

(also just fucking annoying that my provider could clearly see i was signed in/waiting for her in the waiting room and didn’t bother to just send me a quick IM saying hey your appt was canceled! just let me sit there for a fucking hour)

office person is like well her next appt isn’t until july 26 (this appt was july 6) and i was like fucking great let’s do it. they sent me to the nurse to ask about medication. had to leave a message. whatever.

i ended up just paying the $250 because i didn’t want THIS appt to be canceled too. i figured once the claim went through i’d be refunded but i haven’t been home and my behavioral health insurance does everything through snail mail in the year 2021 :-)

i get a call from the nurse and she’s like oh yeah we can refill your Rx no problem so like finally some good news. but then i say i’m in florida and could they send it to the walgreens down here? and she’s like ohhhh we don’t send meds across state lines usually so i’ll have to ask your provider. excuse me? so no client can go on vacation for longer than their medicine allows? literally how is that okay? besides the fact that where i pick up my meds is none of their business. literally. like i could’ve had them send it to the walgreens in VA and then call walgreens to transfer it for me and they’d be none the wiser (i ended up doing this for one med because i was so over it). anyway. got my meds. it’s all good.

so my second appt rolls around today. everything is great. the balance was paid. i received a call friday confirming the appt.

however. lol. the portal they have stopped letting me log into the desktop version. my phone is fine. zero problems. but the exact same user name password on desktop says it’s wrong. i swear i checked it like 30 times. didn’t work. so i was like okay whatever i’ll just go straight to my provider’s online waiting room. i did so. logged in there. waiting. ten minutes past the appt i was like…..i swear to fucking god if they canceled on my and didn’t tell me again i’m gonna commit a crime. call the office. apparently if you’re on hold for more than 5 mins, they send you to voicemail. fuck that. i just called again. i get a person. yay.

i ask if she’s running late or w/e and the office person says i didn’t confirm the appt by logging into the patient portal. are you fucking kidding me? i haven’t received an email about this july 26 appt at all, let alone one telling me i need to do XYZ to confirm an appt. the phone call i got confirming the appt didn’t say to call back or go online. i literally had to hunt through my browser history just to find her waiting room address. (after logging into the portal after all this shit, there isn’t even a fucking link to the waiting room anywhere so idk where i was supposed to find that without already just knowing it).

i explain all this, how the portal isn’t working on desktop anyway (i literally put a note in my phone about it) and i was IN the waiting room on time so what the fuck. and the office person very helpfully was like oh well she can call you if there are any cancellations. okay. whatever. but i’m out of meds today so…. office person very shittily says “i will let her know” with this fucking tone like i’m the one who dropped the ball here. jesus fucking christ.

look folks i barely want to be alive as it is but having to fucking fight tooth and nail just to talk to a person so i can get the meds that make me not die is like. A FUCKING joke. i am the least flakey person ever and i look like an insane person who can’t do basic tasks to this clinic because their shit is so fucked up.

all this on top of the fact that my therapist is just. idk. the vibes have been way off and i just miss my old therapist so goddamn much especially with life returning to normal w covid and hey my dog has cancer! i’m just ready to throw in the towel.

[gnarf]

Gnarf’s 2020

and what a fucking year that was... Anyways, let’s talk about the good things, shall we?

I made it through 2020 alive and without going insane! Yay! So lets see what else I did. (This is a long post)

In the beginning of 2020 I said I won’t participate in many fests. Only three or something like that. Lets check how that went!

Fests Gnarf participated in: 9

@lockdownfest @lcdrarry @hd-wireless @hpfluff-fest @hd-hurtfest @hd-fan-fair @hd-erised @gameofdrarry in drarropoly @wireless-festive-minifest​

Haha yup, three. Sounds legit. I also wandered off to try if I can art! No worries, I gave that up :D Mad respect to all Artists, arting is exhausting and the progress is too slow for me.

If you really want to check out my attempts, here’s what made its way onto AO3:

Dont Blink! for LCDrarry, it includes the Angels from Doctor Who and was a pain in the arse.

If you knew... was made for H/D Wireless and has the armiest arm i ever saw, very proud of that one. Its also the last thing I made.

Home Sweet Home was also made for H/D Wireless, and the first bigger art piece I tried my hand on.

A muffled groan which is rather explicit and I entirely forgot about making it :D it has a ficlet going with it too.

(I think theres other Art stuff here with the tag #gnarf draws or something)

I reached my yearly goal of writing 100k words once again!

Fics and Ficlets I wrote this year: 20(ish)

Better Side of the Bed (Lock Down Fest, T, 2k)

It was all Malfoy's fault. Harry could be at the Burrow right now, but instead he was trapped in Malfoy's tiny flat. All because that dick couldn't stop bothering him about a stupid life debt he didn't even care about.

Doing What's Best (G, ~800 words)

Lucius looked down at the little bundle currently sleeping in Narcissa's arms and felt terror shoot through his body. A little boy, his hair so white it was nearly invisible. Born only a few hours ago, taking his first breath in the light of the rising sun. Narcissa had whispered a welcome, her eyes wet, her smile bigger than ever. But they both knew, even though temporarily safe, he really wasn't. Draco was born into a world ruled by war. If only it'd end soon.

I better be hallucinating this (T, 3.8k)

After the war Draco Malfoy is sentenced to Azkaban for a really long sentence. Apparently aiding in Dumbledore's death overrules any argument Harry could put up for him. After the trial, as the days pass by, Harry is more and more outraged at the sentence. He can't stop obsessing over the fact that Draco Malfoy saved his life and aided him during the war and is very much capable of redemption. Not to mention that Malfoy has always been a delicate git and would never survive Azkaban. After a few weeks obsessing Harry decides that Malfoy indeed can't remain unjustly in Azkaban and starts to plot a way to break him out of jail and hide him in Grimmauld Place. When Hermione finds out she's not amused. Ron is horrified. Draco still thinks he's hallucinating.

Keep Holding On (Wireless, M. 33.333) A collab with @maesterchill​ who surprised me with lovely art for it!

After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry and Draco both fall into their own battles with their mental states. Draco is sent to Azkaban, and Harry turns to drinking, hoping to forget. Months later, Harry visits St Mungo’s new ward on the request of a friend, only to find Draco in a deep vegetative state. Not willing to give him up, Harry stays by his side, while simultaneously dealing with the Ministry's newest grand idea to make everything worse. Making new allies, and losing old ones along the way, will hopefully be worth it in the end.

Age is just a number (Fluff Fest, T, 1.5k)

Married for decades, their life is perfect. Until Harry gets a call and hears the following words: "Mr Potter, we caught your husband stealing ten large packs of King Sized condoms."

There was still hope (Hurt Fest, M, 3.1k)

Draco winced as pain shot through his leg with every step. This secret, back-alley laboratory had been his last chance, last hope, to find the potion. But nobody had it in stock, and there was no time left to brew it himself. Panic was slowly overtaking his entire mind as he crept out of the store and back to the nearest alley to Apparate back home. He already felt off, and it was still early in the day. Of course this thestral-shit had to happen to him, of all people. As if life wasn't bad enough for him already.

Desire (E, 1.7k)

"Auror Potter, what a pleasant surprise to meet you here. What can I do for you?" "Stop the show, Malfoy. There's no one around, and I'm not here as an Auror." Draco watched Potter move closer until they were nearly nose to nose, only the small counter of his shop kept Potter at distance. Potter's eyes were dark with something Draco couldn't exactly name, his face was flushed and the air surrounding him felt somehow static. Draco felt the urge to lean further over his counter, to drink in his sight, to touch the man on the other side—but he didn't.

Drarropoly 2020 currently holds 7 ficlets and is in a Series. The highest rating is Mature and its 3.2k in total at this point.

Let's not wait for France (Fan Fair, T, 17.7k)

All Harry had wanted from his Eighth year at Hogwarts was a little peace and a little privacy but, from the moment that he stepped onto Platform 9 3/4, it was obvious that nothing was ever going to be that easy. An accidental bond with Malfoy that resulted in them having to stay together at all times was the final straw. Things couldn't be worse. So much to a quiet year in Hogwarts.

Love letters for the oblivious (Mini Wireless, T, 716 words)

Draco had gotten the strangest letters all week long, which wasn't what anyone needed at Christmas. Especially not him. Either someone was taking the piss, or he had a very dumb and inefficient secret admirer. And Draco didn't know which would be worse.

Double-Booked (Mini Wireless, T, 2.1k)

Finally, peace and quiet, and— "Malfoy?!?" Or the one where Harry thought he could enjoy a quiet Christmas far from everyone, just to find out that the cabin he had booked already accommodated another guest.

The best Christmas he ever had (Mini WirelessT, 1.9k)

Christmas had never been less appealing to him than this year. That was until Arthur Weasley showed up at his door, dressed as Santa, inviting him to the Burrow.

Anon Fests to be added

Whoever made it to this point: yoooo! Friend! Lots of love to you! I also got tagged in many get to know me posts, plenty of love in my Inbox giving me love slaps left and right (honestly, im bruised, stop slapping me), amazing person awards, top 5 fics, and whatever you can think of.

To make up for not answering most of them because I’m a horrible person:

My favourite colour: purple My age: I’ll be 30 next year in April, I expect gifts, I don’t accept first borns My favourite trope: eight year My favourite animal: cat My favourite ice cream: Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough Here’s my writing Playlist, it’s the worst you’ll ever see, and yes, I use YouTube, I’m old.

Other things that happened in 2020 that made me happy:

I kicked out my mentally/emotionally abusive partner of 7 years in January

I kept my grandma alive through this *waves hand at world*

I was able to share my birthday cake with my family becaus I got to leave my first quarantine a few days before my birthday

I got to keep my job

I found a lot of lovely friends in this fandom, and got to keep them through this year

My cats are their usual little jerks and actually enjoyed me being at home due to the raging pandemic

I finally cut off my hair

I’m about to hit 3.5k followers here and I love you all

I’m also tagging everyone who sees this and wants to do something similiar! Show us what you did in 2020, the things you’re proud of, and the things you loved! Let’s spread some happy for the end of the year 💜🥰

[qwertyfingers]

suicide tw i guess sorry i just need to. say things and not have a real conversation but how the fuck am i supposed to get out of this state of mind rn when im in thjs much pain literally nothing is helping at all. even if i wasnt also strugglign mentally for other reasons this would be insane to deal with. its been 10 fucking years of just eternal decline the pain gets worse and worse im developing increasingly dangerous symptoms i literally *physically* on a chemical level can't get anywhere close to a healthy amount of sleep because everything is so fucked up in my brain. 3-5 nights a week i cant even lie down all the way because the pain gets worse because the pressures so bad and no one can help me no one can improve any of this even a little bit. maybe i get lucky and in 6-9 months time the new injection reduces the symptoms enough to get back to my previous level of disability where i [checks notes] uh 'still cant function in a basic way but at least get more than 2-3 hours of lucidity per day' and thats maybe 60% likely. 40% chance it has little-no effect and the nhs refuses to fund it long term and my literal last hope for any relief from this hell is lost. and i cant even bring myself to be hopeful about the medication working because i have lost all sense of optimism or belief in my own body and dont know that ill ever get it back. given the symptoms and my dad getting diagnosed with the same thing theres close to 100% certainty my migraines are literally just a result of spinal instability in my neck that could be fixed surgically but its literally impossible to get in the uk and the sums of money needed even just to get assessed are so astronomical it will literally never happen. i cant do this for the rest of my life! i cant spend 30-40-50-however many years exhausted and distraught and in agony with absolutely no reprieve or hope or change. whats the point! what do i have to live for? media consumption? i cant even hold a conversation online about things i like anymore. when was the last time i managed to reply more than 2-3 times before the conversation fizzled out or i got too sick to be online or i forgot i was talking at all and just disappeared. i will never be able to go back to school i will never have any kind of work that fulfils me in any way. ill probably never regain my ability to read even close to as well as before. my drawing ability will keep deteriorating and ive already lost all patience and affection for the process of making art in any form. ill never be able to regularly do the things i used to love like hike and play team sports and act on stage. ill never get back my mathematical ability ill never get to study physics like i wanted ill keep losing parts of myself by inches and miles every time something in my body deteriorates. i lost everything i cared about at 16 and the only thing that kept me alive was my hope that i could recover some semblance of it, and then i almost died a few dozen times and my hope wavered but at least i had my fucking stubbornness and now i dont rven have that. i have no spite or rage or tenacity or ferocious desire to prove myself against all the odds anymore im just tired. physically mentally spiritually its all just over and done i got nothing left to give to this fight now. what is the point of suffering through it all if the struggle is so utterly painfully meaningless.