#and gonna be real the thought of being alive that long makes me ill. sorry.
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isdalinarhot · 1 year ago
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You know what. Even though most of my posts are flop posts to the highest degree. Like I’m lucky to break five notes. I don’t care. All my posts will be soooooooo much more valuable when I’m dead. People will pass posts of mine around that are like “need to lick Dalinar’s taint clean pronto” with captions like and this is from the late blogger Luke Isdalinarhot. Gone too soon for this world. Sold to an art collection for 5 thousand dollars. Because artists are always worth more after they’re dead. Da Vinci wasn’t appreciated in his time either
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autisticempathydaemon · 5 months ago
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hi, i was hoping to do one of the redacted matchup thingies, they’re so fun :) I’M SO SORRY THIS IS A PAGE LONG AAAAGH
i’m just gonna lead with the miscellaneous stuff (WOW i spelled that without spell check. didn’t know i could do that.) i’m a young adult bi dude. apparently i’m quiet but snarky and people say my humor is very dry (i have a monotone voice and am Very Committed To The Bit.). i used to have really bad anger issues to the point that davey pre-character arc is more relatable than he should be (even though my parents are alive. they’re just shit). i try to dress kinda grungy? but also whatever’s cozy/comfortable and in neutral/dark colors (except red! i like red, my hair is dyed neon red) i used to have cptsd so bad i basically didn’t leave the house for two years. i think it was like agoraphobia or something? there were delusions in there too. i’m much better now though.
usually the kind of stuff i listen to is loud angry rock music (fave song is hysteria by muse) or slightly older pop music (florence and the machine, MARINA) but the last few days i’ve been on a newer pop kick and i’ve been playing “Good Luck, Babe!” by chappell roan on repeat and it makes me want to scream on a windswept seaside cliff during a storm. specifically the bit from 2:15 to ~3:10 in the song. i know it’s a banger when it makes me want to scream on a cliff or punch something.
INTP? is that an enneagram? (“you’re telling me a shrimp fried this rice?”-sounding sentence, sorry)
not really video essays but i love listening to someone summarize books i never plan to read (i like the ones by cari can read or lexi aka newlynova.)
i didn’t have an imaginary friend? i’m incredibly autistic + adhd so i was daydreaming constantly to a near maladaptive extent but i never had One Consistent Thing that i thought was real.
i have to mash my face into the pillow for a bit to decompress and then i can sleep how i normally do, sleeping on my side in a way that’s probably very bad for my shoulders. (i am an adult dude and i hold a stuffed bunny who i haven’t given a name every night to go to sleep. maybe ill name the bunny after whatever character you give me)
my name is stolen from the love interest of a YA steampunk novel (a young victorian gentleman who wears eyeliner), because his character description just fits me so well, as well as the name itself just looking cool written down
my fave audio is probably the smash bros tournament :D. it literally convinced me to buy the game lol
it’s a good thing i’m anonymous cause i just do not get the gavin or caelum hype. i’m too possessive to date an incubus/ someone who will fuck other people. and i hate children so caelum is just past my threshold for kid-esque behavior that i’m willing to deal with. i’m also really not a fan of the yanderes/evil ones. other people can go ahead and like them, they just stress me out more which is the opposite of what i want.
knives out :D. the detective movie
i would friend the HELL out of asher. i just wanna play games with the man that’s all i ask
i don’t really get food at gas stations but whenever i go to a cafe i am probably getting something strawberry related (lemonade, a smoothie, etc) and a breakfast sandwich
the playlist “songs to get obliterated by a black hole to” is my pride and joy. i fucking love space and sci fi (that’s the thing i’d ramble about too)
my guilty pleasure media is the official gender-swapped twilight (puts my head in my hands) I KNOW.
I sent an anon for matchup earlier (I mentioned a stuffed bunny) and said I didn’t know what an enneagram was and I just looked it up and did a quiz and apparently I’m type 6? Idk how accurate that is but there you go (also I’m sorry if I was trauma dumping/oversharing I was restless from being inside all day whoopsie)
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I’m a sucker for a good black cat/golden retriever sort of pairing, you know? Tack that onto you being a Type Six, and I’ve just got to pair you with Huxley!
Type Sixes are characterized by a desire for stability and security, for dependability, and who’s more reliable than Huxley? This also works with your self-described possessive nature in that Huxley would be the best partner to never trigger that nature, to never make you doubt or toe your boundaries. I also love him for you because we know Huxley canonically is a calming, relieving presence in the face of anger and conflict, which makes him even more perfect for you! (Also I think your grunge fashion sense would contrast so cutely with his casual, gym-bro style.)
Huxley would be so fun to be with! He’s no Asher, but he’d be a great gaming buddy, happy to show you all the Smash tips and tricks for when he introduces you to his family. Speaking of family, Huxley’s moms would just adore you for making their son happy. I can see him taking you to the east coast to meet them and taking you on the hiking and camping trails of his youth. It’d be a lovely time of you showing him the stars and constellations at night and maybe even him finding a cliff for you to sing Chappell Roan off of.
Song:
And I hold you every night/ And that's a feeling I wanna get used to/ But there's no man as terrified/ As the man who stands to lose you/ Oh, I hope I don't lose you
It was so fun to look for a pop-rock song that would make you want to scream or punch something, and I hope this fits the bill. The first chorus extremely hits on top of being a beautiful love song, and I think it wouldn’t be out of place on a road trip with Huxley in the driver’s seat or by a gorgeous cliffside.
Runner-ups:
Aaron and Sam are your runner-ups for a lot of similar reasons. They both also have drier senses of humor, so I think you could vibe and hold to a bit with either of them. I headcanon both of them wearing red often (Sam, a red-checked flannel and Aaron, a red polo a la his thumbnails), so you could match. I also headcanon both of them actively wanting to be child-free, so you’d be compatible in that aspect. Aaron outranks Sam just slightly because I think he’d offer more stability and security given his occupation and Unempowered status.
Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌
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camprell-art · 5 months ago
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Does shadoo remember dimentio?
I thought about this for some time now.
So welcome to the "Camprell being mentally ill about his own fanlore" show!
I'm gonna put a read more here because it got soooooooo long.
1st option!
I can do it the extra painful way, that would be if they don't remember but still meet each other, and there is a probability that the whole ordeal with the Pixl Queen happens again, Shadoo is a living killing machine, she's locked behind all those walls and doors for a reason. But I don't like this one very much because it's too bland, and not just bland but a bit out of the plot, like, why would they even meet if nobody remembers anything?
2nd option!
This one can go in two ways, it could be like this story here, I would change some parts of it today, but essentially it's this, Dimentio goes there, says her name, she gets curious and then maybe they would talk... Buuut, this one would not make so much sense in the new characterization, my Dimentio was much more sensitive, more sad than insane? More depressed than psychotic or neurotic? I'll do better research about this, so you can correct me if I'm wrong.
3rd option!
This one is more tricky, because I would have to figure out what to do with the Dark Prognosticus, where the hell did the book go? Did it disappear? Was the Chaos Heart the ultimate point of it? Because I do believe that the DP, contrary to its Light counterpart, wasn't written by anyone, maybe created by something, however, considering that the thing can't keep its records forever (or else the book would be enormous), the only scenario that makes sense is that it is erased and written by itself, making the book more of an entity than an object.
If the DP is gone, then Dimentio can have other thoughts in his head that aren't obscured by the thing talking in it, so maybe some of his memories could slowly start to make sense, his dreams would come back to the "traumatic state", rather than blurry visions of a future that is near.
When I say traumatic state, I mean those memories that are very deep in his mind, the ones that actually explain all the actions and decisions he made in the past. Even the curse would have a meaning, he always thought it was some magic corruption because he kept coming back, but then, after a lot of dreams, he would discover that it wasn't entirely that.
Shadoo is literally what would happen to him if the curse was complete, in her case it was way faster, since the only reason she is alive was because she became a Pixl with the help of the Prognosticus. When Pixl Queen Shadoo dies again, all that is left is a shadow of herself, the thing in the end of the Pits is just her soul. If someone killed her for real, she would just turn into a glittery dust and fade from reality, no Underwhere, no Overthere. But I believe that for this immortal "creature" this is the best ending she could have.
So Dimentio would probably kill her just to end her suffering, and I think that Shadoo wouldn't even be scared if this does happen, all that she wanted was revenge, but there's no reason to do that when your brother came back and you finally can rest after so many years of isolation and loneliness.
Sorry for possible redundancies and grammatical errors + typos + wrong words, I'm so sleepy and I'm lazy to correct and read my own text. X)
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taiiunknown · 2 years ago
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✨TONIGHT, ILL BE THE BEST YOU EVER HAD 💍
This a short story inspired by the song (Tonight ~ John legend) so I advise you to listen to the song while reading 😽
Warning: FLUFF AND I MEAN LOTS OF IT , grab a tissue 🥺, very short story sorry not sorry 😛
Summary: Y/n & SHURI has been dating for 3 years and shuri finally decide to propose Aka tie the knot 🪢💍🤭
Today shuri has been acting really weird today, I don’t know what’s up with her but she have been real distant and sneaky and I really don’t want to jump to conclusions bc we have been strong going on 4years and it has been the best 4 years of you life .
Shuri told me that she was gonna be busy all today so she might not be home at 4 like she usually do , so I decided to go to my best friend house to vent to her a bit and also catch up , but she thought it was a good idea to treat me today which was very odd but I guess she just wanted to be nice today so we ended up at the nail shop .
*NAIL SALON*
“I feel like you overreacting.” Cari said while looking at the lady who was painting her toe nails, “Ya, Maybe you’re right…I just want to know what’s wrong.” Y/n said while having her feet in the water while the nail tech finish her pinky finger (you got cute white French tips medium length with a little diamond on you ring finger). “Just enjoy the day we having together then tonight when you go home talk to shuri.” Cari said with a small smile “ya… I am, what we doing after anyways ?” Y/n asked “oh we fixing your hair so when we don’t you better get to picking hair styles , I Feel like you need a cute silk press since your hair already long asl .” Cari said “ok even though I love my curls” I said laughing .
*3hours later*
I felt like a brand new person walking back in the palace, After getting my hair and nails done , including a Brazilian wax , I felt so pure and fresh.
On the way here I was already planning in my head on how to confront shuri about her being to distant , as I got closer the living area I seen rose petals leading to the balcony by the kitchen, I hear (Tonight by John legend) playing in the back ground and was easily caught off guard by how sexy shuri look right now . She was wearing a all black long sleeve shit with gray buttons, all dark gray pants with black shoes and … WAIT A MINUTE DID SHE GET A LINE UP IN THE BACK ?!!?!?!!
Ughhhh god take me now …
Mean while i have on a cute black dress and cute black rhinestone flip flops since I didn’t expect to be doing much today,
“Shuri what’s all this for ?” I asked looking at the set up in awe (just imagine what you want) “for you Usana, you deserve this and everything that comes with it” shuri said lifting my chin so I can focus on her “including you? Bc last time I checked you was being real distant to me for the past couple of days like you don’t love me anymore , and I’m really tryna understand if I did something wrong or not so I can fix it or even m-” I said rambling non stop “ MY LOVE STOP !” Shuri said to stop me from rambling “You did nothing wrong y/n , I just been planning something special for you that I have been thinking about since the first moment we met, And don’t ever think about changing yourself okay ? Bc you are perfect and I love you with everything in my heart and I don’t want you to ever think I stopped loving you bc I will never stop loving you Mami , Do you hear me? And I’m so sorry for even making you feel that way Nkosazana yam (my princess) . Shuri said while we both tearing up a little
“Ever since I first laid eyes on you I’ve been having it all planned out y/n and even my mother knew we are soul mates before she passed..” Shuri says while slowly moving on to one knee … lord I’m finna fall out
“So will you please make me that happiest Queen alive and be my wife sithandwa sam ?”
Shuri asked with a few tears running down her face while I’m straight out finna blow a snot bubble 💀
“YES ! Yes my shuri, I will” I say sobbing a little
“YES ?!!” Shuri asks shooting back up to her feet while picking me up “YES BABY!” I say giggling bc I’m so star struck. Shuri begans to scream in happiness and I do the same.
Shuri puts me back on the ground to place the ring on my finger (imagine what you want)
“And by the way Cari was in on the plan” Shuri says with a sneaky grin “Wowww I knew she was up to something” I say laughing “yk you look really good right now Ms.Uduka” Shuri says while grabbing me by my waist “MEEE?? You look fine as always while I literally have on the most simple fit ever” I say rolling my eyes and pouting, “it’s ok if you don’t see what I see Usana, But do you mind not walking tmr ?” Shuri says getting closer to my lips “umm..it depends how good you do” I say clearly joking bc she be fucking me up for real. “Say less enomtsalane (sexy)…
THE END !!
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vanillaheartzxx · 1 year ago
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OH MY GOD SPOILERS ⚠️
(you probably know what the spoiler warning is for)
quinn’s stuff ahead! (spoilers)⚠️
i’m talking out of my ass and these are just my first thoughts i just wanted them down and i wanted to hear others opinions so here’s just everything (from first and second video)
first let me say i was a little bit more than overjoyed to know that quinn would be voiced by good boy audios (HE DID ABSOLUTELY SPECTACULAR) jaw dropped when i saw but in the absolute best way possible I LOVED ITTT
but i did fully believed quinn would’ve had this monotone voice (dull..?) + personality, calm but heinous. i did NOT think he would be so sadistic and vile, (up beat? like cocky, saying the most gruesome shit with a smile) like holy shit 😭
I DIDNT THINK HE’D TALK SO MUCH LITERAL SHIT EITHER
the things he said about darlin like i had to take a pause before i could keep watching, and the clock and time ticking at the end?! (and throughout the video) they probably had to spend hours in there, watching their mate and their ex talk about gruesome things that they probably never wanted sam to have to know about, just trying to help the girl.
i’m going to be honest, i thought there would be a bit mor going on, the capturing was bit anticlimactic (?), but it’s not over yet. and there’s probably something exciting still coming. (IM NOT MAD EITHER, THEY NEED PEACE IN THEIR LIVES. AND ILL BE HAPPY WITH WHATEVER HAPPENS AS LONG AS THEY ALIVE <3)
ALSO someone said he WANTED to get caught on purpose which i now believe wholeheartedly, but it obviously begs the question, WHY would he want to be captured.
the reason i think he purposely got caught was because did he REALLY just fall for the trap and get caught?? he is so old (vampire old so yk strength and ig? intelligence? wit?? idk). how did he even just GET caught? like with HIS strength? how many department members were there? and also how “happy” he sounds??
and like are they really gonna just let him rot and give him a blood forever and ever? i feel like quinn being in cage for probably eternity is just yk no real closure?(i mean sure justice) like i feel like he should just be put down, (putting it nicely) or TRY to get rehabilitated (kinda like the vega situation), but then again he’s like a master manipulator or whatever, so whatever they try to do to help probably isn’t gonna work.
and what if there is no girl and he is just trying to torture darlin, by torturing sam, with a stories about their relationship and other things they never thought would get out. (okay there probably is a girl but he’s more evil than i thought initially) and what if it’s just a trap? (and i said i didn’t like angst, i need to put these thoughts away)
and i apologize, but if i was darlin and my mate was in a room alone with my crazy ex bf who is way stronger than him, was practically torturing him by saying the most gruesome, terrible things in DETAIL, i would get fed up and just go in there. and what kind of restraints does he have in there? handcuffs? is he half fed in there?? how is he just alone with sam like sam can still get hurt. and where did david go? (ik hes busy and got his own life) maybe there’s a ward protecting sam idk.
(ALSO UHM DO U THINK THE GIRL QUINN HAS IS KAYLA GUY AND HONEY’S OLD ROOMMATE? (I LIKE THE AMANDA THEORY AND ESPECIALLY THE ALEXIS ONE, BUT JUST TAKING EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF)
anyways just needed to get everything out before the next episode, sorry a lot of questions but i hope everything goes well for them 🙏
apologies for grammar mistakes/idea repetition and things just not making sense i burned myself earlier and its 4am lmao but thank you for reading 🎀💓
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concretebed · 10 months ago
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Favourite songs from your top artist?
AWESOME question. my top artist is king krule so i'll give u a long list
1. cementality - for obvious reasons. i've named myself after this song on liek every platform. and this song is so fucking sad. like it's talking about suicide and having worms in your brain basically and it's so somber and i love it i eat it up.
2. the locomotive - i don't have a super. real reason for this being #2 it's just my absolute fav off of the ooz. i interpret it as being scared of change and like taking that step onto the metaphorical train of life
3. emergency blimp - another one from the oooozzzz but i liek this one because the lyrics, again, are relatable. it's about his like. idk mistrust of pills to treat mental issues and how like idk the pills make him feel not great. also there's definitely something about love in here but im not a great critical analyzer so.
4. energy fleets - MAN ALIVE!!!!! this i think is an underrated king krule song. it's so good. i think it's about coming to terms with the fact that maybe youre not who you thought you'd be! but thats ok! youre you! and all your illnesses are you and while that sucks its okay. youre alive.
5. seaforth - okay yesss a little bit cliche to like his first single after a few years of NOTHING but it's WHATEVER i don't care it's so good. i see you, my same eyes. it's so fucking good it's like a lullaby when i have a baby im probably gonna sing it to her
6. out getting ribs - clichè, clichè, clichè (beyoncé reference) who cares it's such a good freaking song. it's timeless and it's awesome and seeing it live was probably one of the best moments of my 2023 i think everyone should listen to that song once even if they never listen to king krule ever after that.
7. turtle neck man - technically not a king krule song but he's the vocals so who cares. i just like this one cuz it scratches a itch in my brain.
8. arise dear brother - this is a song off his mixtape under his real name and it's like so good. idk some people don't like a new place to drown but i think it's SO funky! arise dear brother has this like vibe to it that i fuck with really hard. and i like the lyrics and the beat and whatever makes that clicking noise in the song it's awesome
9. 363N63 - this song is just like sex in my ears sorry i don't really have a reason it's just good
10. seagirl - i LOVE this song because i think king krule needs to do MORE COLLABS WIRH ARTISTS I LIKE. ITS AWESOME. also because this song makes me envision like a fisherman falling in love with a mermaid and he keeps drawing her to prove to people like look she's real and no one believes him but she's like im ur seagirl. whatever thats a very literal interpretation of the song but it's okay
i hope u liked this it was only supposed to be 5 songs but im crazy bout my ginger so
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morganupstead · 2 years ago
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911 Lone Star 4x05 thoughts: I know I'm backed up but I've been depresso dissociating for days so I'm getting to it now.
Okay what was that intro sequence, I'm also terrified to ask.
Mateo, the kid means well but strand is gonna be real mad he can't sell his bike. we stan mateo here though
Celeste why isn't it good to see you girlie, but you might be in the wrong city at the moment?? Chicago maybe?? A confident amazing guy is back there right about now huh?? His name is Kevin Atwater does that ring a bell?? (okay i guess we can move on)
Grace and Linus, this is gonna be great I can tell. He's stuck on homework what a cute kid and Grace is perfect at this.
What was that do I know you directed at Paul???? Like was that intentional for another reason or am I just very far-reaching about another Black first responder from Chicago??? (I'm delusional there's no way they are referencing that)
Hold on. MARJAN????? Nope I'm so not about this girlie I love you WHAT HAPPENED
Marjan literally saved that woman from a moving trailer home on the highway, she would have died if she stayed in that motor home, and without the road stop this conversation would not be happening. do I agree with the word choice, no but she's alive still.
Grace is concerned so now I'm concerned about that kid.
Okay, Marjan is literally breaking my heart that woman. If she's leaving the show I'm gonna sob.
There's the creepy guy again.......not feeling good about that. Marjan is really getting the short end of the stick this episode??? i really don't like this. Not a radio.
Okay so this storyline has officially gone off the rails where I couldn't have expected it to. I agree with Strand, why is he not in jail!!!!! Also a lot of this conversation sounds like veiled threats and blackmail to me so where is this going???
Marjan as a character is just freaking incredible. If she gets fired or leaves it's gonna hurt but damn you can't say that woman isn't a powerhouse that sticks to her guns.
CHARLIE WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO BE SO BIG!!!!! oh you are the cutest little baby on the planet. also Judd is such a good dad it melts my cold little heart. JUDD YOU ARE SUCH A SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND I LOVE IT. he knows his wife isn't gonna sleep is she doesn't know that little boy is safe. i hope this doesn't end bad bc i like this storyline, There's too much sadness going on i need some balance. I just hope Grace doesn't get in trouble for this bc I'm a little on edge with the whole Marjan thing.
"I'm a big scary man??" sorry to break it to you Judd but without knowing that your a big snuggly teddy bear your outside persona is a little scary bro.
I'm sorry but everytime they pan to charlie I'm yelling at my computer "CHARLIE YOU ARE SO CUTE GIRLIE LOOK AT YOU"
Yes Linus Grace Ryder is the prettiest woman ever:)))
I love Tommy and her girls, it's domestic time that I love
Grace is really gonna save this woman's life I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. THAT'S GRACE RYDER. Judd keeping Linus calm is literally gonna make me cry.
We are going to have that guy join the firehouse who is obsessed with the 126 (that probably is a psychopath or has some other mental illness??? Am I catching the right vibes with this storyline?? I hate the way this is set up to be another long-term arc.
Okay, i was right somewhat: Arsonist at least we can label him as right now.
Did paul really just punch him??? or was that a figment of Marjan's imagination???
The fact that Asha is from Chicago really being a coincidence is sending me. It means nothing, Paul is from Chicago and they met in school....... hum hum hum..... Wait are we setting up a romance??? Okay maybe I can jump on the bandwagon
I saw this coming but damn im equally sad and proud of her. SHE BOUGHT HIS BIKE!!!!!! God I'm gonna cry. Is this really her leaving???? Okay, I googled it and it's not the last we are seeing of Marjan which is nice, but I did just ugly cry thinking she was gone forever.
I liked this episode more than I thought I would. Grace's storyline was really great too!!!
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yoonlixstars · 3 years ago
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skz reaction to their s/o wanting a kiss
Pairing: skz x reader
Genre: smut, fluff, and more fluff
note: im sorry i didnt post yesterday. i was a bit busy i guess? or i was lazy :). but yea im posting this and i saw a story like this one on wattpad so i thought why not make a story on Tumblr? and this is not proof read, so sorry for any mistakes. anyways, ENJOY!
Chan
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if you ever told him you rlly wanted a kiss from him
he would MELT
boy would think you were the cutest human being ever
(thats how much he loves you :( 
i dont think he would tease
like getting on his tippy toes making himself taller
so you wont reach his lips
instead i think hed just kiss you
like whenever he could get the chance
would also act dramatic if you end up changing your mind :)
Lee Know
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man would take it seriously
like he would say
“You only want a kiss? Nothing else?”
if you only wanted to kiss hed get sad
but if you end up getting in the mood
Happiest man alive™
but if he didnt say that
lee know would become a complete tease
like
“YOU WANT THESE BEAUTIFUL LIPS? COME GET THEM!” in the end you give up
but he ends up coming to you kissing you himself
Changbin
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WOULD try to act cool on the outside
but on the inside would be FREAKING OUT
after you were done with the kiss
hed say
“im just gonna go over real quick”
youd hear him cheer that you kissed him yourself
for the first time
and then hed come back to the living room like nothing happened
would try to act he didnt like it
but in reality
HE LOVED IT
Jisung
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he would be talking about something
while you were eating a strawberry
youd try to distract yourself from staring at his lips
but you just couldnt
so as expected youd strating kissing the strawberry
pretending it was his lips :(
until he noticed you were staring at his lips for a little too long
so hed go ahead and say
“wow, you want to kiss me that bad?” 
youd try to deny but instead youd just nod :(
and hed say like
“well come here baby.”
and then hed just grab your lips and kiss them
for a good 3 minutes (or more ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 
after youd be hella shy
(Not Shy not me itzyyy)
ill stop now
Hyunjin
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this man right here would just tease you
like
when youd turn to him for a kiss
youd tug his shirt
and as you tried to go on your tippy toes
hed also go on them to make himself taller
after you would be like “Fine.”
and hed say like “Wait no baby come back here, you want to kiss me right?”
you end up giving him the silent treatment for the rest of the day
but he gives you something else....
in the night( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 
im not writing a smut tho. THIS IS A HOLY PLACE :)
Felix
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he would love to think youd want a kiss from him
and he will find it so cute
hed tease you at first, but later he ends up kissing you
like
he was playing on his phone when you started giving him the ‘look’
signaling that you wanted a kiss
he didnt get it at first and he was like
“babe, idk what you are trying to tell me.” so you just rolled your eyes and stood up
and that when he got the message
hed pinned you to the wall and be like
“Im sorry! I didnt know you were trying to tell me that! You still wanna kiss me right?”
youd deny everything he said
until he kissed you himself
for�� good 5 minutes :) (like jisung)
Seungmin
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youd try to do ageyo? agyo, aegyo. IDK HOW TO SAY IT SORRY!
hed be like
“i know what you want.” Hed say that with a little smirk
you were already with your eyes closed
and them crusty ass fking lips in a pout :(
instead hed be like
“go put on some chapstick, and then ill kiss you.”
Tease
but rlly them CRUSTY ASS LIPS :(
i dont think i should write for jeongin but oh well
Jeongin :)
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no kiss for the baby :)
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ot3 · 4 years ago
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Sorry to bother - feel free to ignore. I’m trying to write an orv fic bc. I like them. And I’m having trouble understanding why with the regression depression it’s the happy memories that get yjh the most. Best I can figure it’s bc he can use the bad memories to propel him forward - like he’s doing this to avenge them. But the good memories force him to realize these people are gone and he’ll never see them again. Do you have any thoughts? Thanks!
i think that's definitely more or less accurate! i think the 'those people are gone and he'll never see them again' bit you've pointed out is the critical piece here. ill stick my further thoughts below the cut. this is really long because i've pulled a LOT of long chunks of text from the novel to shore up this point. i just got home from work so my thoughts are gonna be a little bit incoherent here. skip to the end if you're not interested in reading all the segments i pulled from the text. spoilers all the way up through chapter 508
first things first, let's just go back to the novel and look at all the bits where YJH's depression gets brought up
“Maybe Yoo Jonghyuk-nim has already repeated a few lives. You have fought against terrible enemies and struggled against the beings of this world to save people. Enduring alone, lonely memories… We respect your sublime spirit.”
This jerk, such skillful flattery. Yoo Jonghyuk would be moved to tears if he heard. Later when he was depressed, I would have to tell him these words.
“But Yoo Jonghyuk-nim should’ve realized it from your past regressions. Even if you have an outstanding miracle, you alone can’t fight against the disasters that will come.”
Plus, he was right.
- from ch 48
「 Everything is twisted because of this person. 」
「 It is different from what I know in the earlier regressions. The amount of information available is too limited. I can’t save the world like this. 」
What was this?
「 The reason I was hurt by the Salvation Church was because we spent too much time in the last round. It was a mistake to train for 100 years then. My mind was permanently damaged. 」
「 Maybe it was a mistake not to get the Absolute Throne.  」
「 I will start from the beginning again… 」
Dammit, the regressor’s depression had begun. Was it due to the mental attack? I cried out in fear of what he would decide. “I’m hurt you jerk!”
- from ch 140
「 Those people can’t save the world, even with 100 trucks. 」
「 Once again, the answer is regression… 」
“Now now, our Supreme King isn’t in a good mood right now so back off. Do you want to die?” I personally stepped forward to get rid of any causes of depression.
- later on in ch140 as well
This jerk, he was always so impatient. He had been given time to rest but he was still busy thinking. Regardless of his depressed state, Yoo Jonghyuk was Yoo Jonghyuk.
“Before that, let’s take a moment to breath. The view is great.” I said while sitting on the roof railing.
Yoo Jonghyuk asked me, “What are you up to?”
“I’m just looking at the world. Isn’t it beautiful?” The city of Seoul was destroyed by the monsters. I quickly added, “It was originally a beautiful place.”
“I don’t like landscapes.”
“Why?”
“They are things that will disappear someday.”
I thought I had a bit more understanding of the third regression Yoo Jonghyuk after fighting against Shin Yoosung. I wanted to believe he was a person who could love this world without giving up or feeling despair.
I told him, “However, we need to protect these things.”
“Kim Dokja, you don’t know.”
This might be my misunderstanding. Yoo Jonghyuk could give up at any time because he was still in the midst of his regressions.
In the end, Yoo Jonghyuk’s purpose was to prevent the ‘destruction of this world.’ Paradoxically, he could give up on this world at any time. His essence was regression and this fact would never change.
“No, I know,” I replied.
“What?”
“The fact that you can regress at any time means that death is meaningless.”
I looked down at Lee Seolhwa caring for the injured. Lee Seolhwa was feeding her boiled soup to an unknown person. Despite her efforts, there was a high probability that the character would die. Even if they lied now, they would die tomorrow. If they miraculously survived tomorrow, they would die the day after tomorrow.
It was the same in the fourth regression and the fifth regression. There would always be ‘death’ in the world of Yoo Jonghyuk, even after passing the 100th regression.
“If there is no sense of death then the value of life also disappears.”
- ch141
There was the vague belief that he could do better in the next round with more information. It was easy for him to give up on this regression if something went wrong.
This was the precursor symptom of ‘regression depression.’ Some of the contents of Ways of Survival passed through my head.
It was around the 48th regression. Yoo Jonghyuk had consulted with an incarnation of the constellation ‘Discoverer of the Subconscious’ on the ‘regression depression.’ At the time, he seemed to be speaking like I was now.
I continued speaking, “Yes. It might be as you say. If you repeat it 10 or 20 times then it will surely get better. You’ll be exposed to more scenarios and see more of the future. The real problem is when you someday save the world in this manner.”
“What does this mean?”
“At that time, do you really think you saved this world?”
“…”
“Do you think you will be able to keep the same mindset after repeating it 100 or 200 times?”
“I won’t regress that many times.”
I silently stared at Yoo Jonghyuk.
「 …Don’t tell me? 」 Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyes slowly widened.
I kept speaking, “Are you having nightmares these days?”
“…”
“You won’t be saved, even if you save the world. The moment you save the world, the worlds you have forsaken will come to you. Despite saving one world, all the other worlds you abandoned will drag you to hell.”
- from further down in ch141
「 Yoo Jonghyuk felt lonely as he saw these watches. They got their time back but he still wasn’t
living in this time. Yoo Jonghyuk suddenly thought. If so, where do I live in those countless hours? 」
It was the monologue of Yoo Jonghyuk, who once saved the Demon World. It was also one of my favourite scenes from Ways of Survival.
I suddenly seemed to understand a bit of his mind. To the regressor Yoo Jonghyuk, the time in these worlds didn’t belong to him. In a life that could go back over and over again, the present time was meaningless.
Once this was over, I would ask Aileen to make me a watch. If he had something like this, he might become more attached to this world. Maybe the regression depression would get better…
- ch 207
A person who regressed more than a thousand times. A spirit that had become insensitive from the hundreds of suicides and tragedies that an individual could suffer. The extremely widespread regression depression…
「 Yoo Jonghyuk of the 1863rd round is the despair of the world itself. 」
- ch 285
Abnormal condition? There was no way. Who was the 1863rd regression Yoo Jonghyuk? This was Yoo Jonghyuk who was the Ruler of the East Hell and killed the Devil of Principles. There was no one among the constellations who could place an abnormal condition on the present Yoo Jonghyuk.
Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyes were blank.
I felt uncomfortable like something was stuck in my throat. No, there was. There was only one person who could cause an abnormal status in Yoo Jonghyuk.
+
* The target is suffering from ‘regression depression’ due to an unknown cause.
+
It was Yoo Jonghyuk himself.
Regression depression. The spirit of the man who had been broken over 1863 lives made the regression depression almost a passive, low level skill. Once he fell into the depression, his consciousness was caught in the weight of his memories and he couldn’t wake up.
[Kill him! He isn’t invincible!]
The ruthless strikes caused Yoo Jonghyuk’s body to bleed little by little. It was strange. Originally, the regression depression shouldn’t occur in this situation. In the 1863rd round, Yoo Jonghyuk had learnt how to manage this disease.
- ch 286
then this REALLY LONG BIT from 287. it has stopped letting me indent for some reason so i guess ill bold this.
I knew how to wake up Yoo Jonghyuk from his regression depression. In other words, it meant I also knew how to sink him deeper into that melancholy.
I saw Yoo Jonghyuk’s fingertips moving and opened my mouth. “Do you remember? The 33rd round. You cleared the 40th scenario and Lee Jihye said this.”
Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyes dimmed and his moving fingertips stopped.
「 “It would be nice if Master didn’t have to go to the next round.” 」
“Think about it. You weren’t always unhappy. Right? In all the rounds, there were moments when you were happy.”
Yoo Jonghyuk’s expression was becoming stiffer.
“The 173rd round. You protected Earth for quite some time. You also saw Lee Jihye receiving her high school diploma and Lee Seolhwa smiling at someone’s child.”
「 “Jonghyuk-ssi, are you happy that you’re alive?” 」
Every time I spoke, Yoo Jonghyuk’s expression collapsed. It wasn’t despair that broke down Yoo Jonghyuk.
“The 383rd round. You finally cleared the 75th scenario. Fortunately, nobody died in that round. That was the first time. Then Lee Hyunsung told you.”
「 “Jonghyuk-ssi, I won’t forget today until I die.” 」
The feather-like memories sank into his head.
“Then the 498th round…”
Yoo Jonghyuk’s palms moved to cover his ears. The usual Yoo Jonghyuk wouldn’t have fallen from this much. Now it was different. I held his hands and kept talking. “That happened 10 times.”
A human sank deeper into the water just because of the weight of these feathers.
“Twenty times.”
My breath clogged up and my lungs tightened. I could feel what Yoo Jonghyuk was going through. Only I could feel it. The most primitive darkness at the bottom of one person was swallowing his ego greedily.
“100 times. It repeated over 1,000 times.”
All those words were destroyed. All the happy memories flowed back to a time they could never return to. Through the countless regressions, the meaning of happiness faded. All the values he preserved became pieces of torn paper.
“Yoo Jonghyuk.”
Yoo Jonghyuk’s self was sinking into the deep sea. It was to a place that he could never come up from without someone’s help.
“Have you protected all the things you wanted to keep?”
I looked at Yoo Jonghyuk’s miserable face and thought: Don’t worry Yoo Jonghyuk. I’ll do the rest. You stop and rest.
[Your understanding of the character ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’ is increasing explosively.]
Yoo Jonghyuk’s empty eyes were showing memories of losing his master. I didn’t use Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint but it wasn’t hard to read.
「 I want to die. 」
「 I want to finish all of this. 」
「 If only I can never wake up. 」
A few drops of rain fell from the sky. It was black rain made from the blood of the demon kings and constellations. Liquid also flowed onto Yoo Jonghyuk’s face. Yoo Jonghyuk’s gaze lowered and finally fell on me.
I was looking at the moment a human’s spirit collapsed. There was a broken voice. Like a creaking machine, Yoo Jonghyuk stammered, “Wh,at… should, I, d…o?”
i think this one is obviously very important.
then, the 'have you protected all you wanted to protect' stuff obviously reaches its culmination in the finale
⸢The regression depression.⸥
That was the only weakness of Yu Jung-Hyeok, who had repeatedly regressed for a very long time.
[In the 173rd turn. You managed to protect Earth for a pretty long time. You got to see Yi Ji-Hye receive her high school diploma, and you even got to see Yi Seol-Hwa smile with another’s child in her arms.]
The light in Yu Jung-Hyeok’s eyes was wavering.
⸢It wasn’t despair that could defeat Yu Jung-Hyeok.⸥
⸢Small feather-like memories settled down inside his head one by one.⸥
The ‘Dokkaebi King’ was using the exact same method I relied on back then.
⸢The breathing got harder, and the lungs were getting tighter.⸥
⸢A man drowning in water would sink even deeper under the surface from the weight of a mere feather.⸥
I couldn’t afford to idly watch on anymore. I shouted at Yu Jung-Hyeok, telling him to wake up, and not to fall for such an illusion.
However, my voice couldn’t reach them as if a non-conductive barrier was set up between us. And the ‘Dokkaebi King’ was smiling away, perhaps to mock this entire story.
[Yu Jung-Hyeok, have you protected all that you wanted to protect?]
Slowly, Yu Jung-Hyeok’s knees sank down.
I roused the Status of Fables. I needed to undo that ⸢Stage Transformation⸥ right now, But, how should I…
Grab.
There was a hand still tightly clutching mine. It was Han Su-Yeong.
“That’s not a battle you can interfere in.”
“But, if he’s left alone….!”
“….Even a star that can’t be seen still emits light. You said that, right?”
….A star that can’t be seen?
Her words made me look back at Yu Jung-Hyeok once more.
His gaze being lowered had come to a stop. Blinding sparks were completely enveloping him.
Tsu-chuchuchuchu….
Something was waking up his fading consciousness.
[Great Fable, ‘Ones that Remember the Apocalypse’, has begun its storytelling!]
That was a Fable I wasn’t aware of.
As the sparks lessened gradually, several silhouettes revealed themselves. Now that I took a closer look, Yu Jung-Hyeok wasn’t alone. No, four others were standing beside him.
A tall man, a young man with blonde hair, a girl with a ponytail, and finally…
[[He couldn’t protect anyone. That’s why he now stands in this place.]]
….An Archangel with blindingly-pure wings.
Astonishment quickly dyed the Dokkaebi King’s expression.
The Fable from the destroyed 999th turn was now burning brightly like the conflagration of end times on the edges of the Archangel’s blade.
[[Because he believes there are still things left to protect.]]
- from ch 508
Now here's a couple of tidbits about depression when it comes up for Other entities:
The fastest thing to get shaved away after becoming a Constellation was their own ‘Fable’. The more a Constellation depleted its story, the weaker its power would get. They would grow bored, disinterested, fall into depression, or lose themselves in tedium.
Constellations would desperately seek out other Fables in order to escape from such a quagmire. In other words, they would search for a new tragedy to escape from this horrible eternal cycle, even if it was only for a brief moment.
- ch 498
⸢[Constellation, ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’s’ ■■ is ‘Something that can’t be found’.]⸥
I had read what his ■■ was from the original novel. His description showed up when he became Yu Jung-Hyeok’s ally for a little while during the 1863rd turn.
⸢The evil dragon suffering from the worst possible depression in this <Star Stream>.⸥
The reason why the ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ believed his age to be 15 was simply that he’d not be able to continue on if he didn’t.
A life stretching for thousands, no, tens of thousands of years, made an originally solitary dragon into such a creature.
In order to stop itself from decaying, he chose not to age. He chose not to lose his curiosity of the world. He chose to torment Incarnations or play bizarre pranks. And for his final prank, he even chose to betray the ‘Absolute Evil’, too. He stood on Yu Jung-Hyeok’s side and while mocking the <Star Stream>, breathed his last.
- ch 503
okay so
i think there are a couple of different ways to look at the regression depression in line with each of orv's 'themes'. of course despair at losing his comrades is the main primary emotion here, but there's subtler stuff going on here too.
for starters, the foundational components of any creature within the star stream is its stories. the more your stories are known and shared the more powerful they are, etc, etc. time and time again their shared stories are the thing to save them and ground them. but as we see with the hellscape of eternity, yjh begins to become isolated from the interpersonal aspect of the story as he loses the people he originally formed these stories with. the stories are how people communicate. as YJH progresses through his regressions he is unable to relate to the 'story' in the way you are supposed to, and this essentially causes a complete ego death. life no longer has any meaning for him, because he is fundamentally incapable of connecting with people. the [impossible communication] of a life and a burden that can't be shared.
then there's the [samsara] aspect - being worn down by the endless repetition of fate. everything is the same, over and over again, and yet we still delve into it hoping to get something new out of it. maybe the story will be different this time. ABFD was able to stave off depression by keeping himself in a state of permanent novelty - there was still something left to discover - but as YJH progresses through the regressions and falls deeper and deeper into repeating the same pattern, the tedium becomes too much. he has nothing new to experience. he has repeated everything this reality has to offer - or so he thinks - and it shows no sign of ever changing. if it's the same every time, why stick around? why not go again? it doesn't matter. none of it matters. you are just part of the wheel.
and if we think of it in terms of [good and evil] we see yjh slowly become something that almost any human being would call a monster. as kdj says in that conversation with anna croft near the end, "can you really call someone a human if you have to look so hard to find their humanity?" as far as it goes. yjh commits some atrocities! Because of said aforementioned removal from reality and ego death, he is able to fully justify any action it takes no matter how horrendous. and yet his noble goal never changes. undeniably, what he is by the end is some sort of monster. but still, of course, just a man. and he knows this. he feels himself slipping a little bit more, every regression. he knows its coming. and he doesn't want it. he wants to maintain his humanity.
but really i think we can almost best think of yjh's regression depression as almost his equivalent to the [fourth wall]. whereas the 4th wall is a unique passive skill that protects kim dokja by preventing him from fully conceptualizing what's happening to him as 'reality', the regression depression harms yjh by preventing him from conceptualizing what's happening to him as 'reality'. in a sense, his friends and loved ones have almost become 'characters' to him as well, as he already knows the way this story happens. he is an outsider, observing these beings interact with each other but not quite the same as them. he is an anachronism. this isn't his present. this is a present, one he can take or leave at any time. the thing yjh does in his later regressions - using people as tools - is something kdj does in the beginning of his journey. because, well, it doesnt matter if this isn't the 'real world'! they mirror each other.
that ended up being so much longer than i thought it would im sorry. i hope this was even like 10% helpful.
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ziracona · 3 years ago
Text
[Very excited for the next bit & hopefully life quits kicking my butt soon so I can get it done. Anyway, an update.]
The Kid (pt: 1, … 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, ?) [Fate Grand Order AU]
Adrenaline pumping so fast I think I might puke, my hand is already up and I’m halfway to shouting Billy’s name to summon him when the door opens again.
I stop, unused command seal on my lips, and stare as it shuts again and locks, then opens quick. It. OH.
I feel my face on fire as it clicks. I am so glad no one was here to see this. It must automatically lock—must have been locking every time it shut. The pattern is just repeating again, and I couldn’t see the lock from the other side.
Okay. Okay… I make myself take a long, deep breath. You’re okay.
It’s…funny. I wasn’t scared at all until I was alone, and now I’m…completely freaked, I think. …Maybe I was scared before, too, but not like this. It’s okay. You can call for help if you need it. You know they’re all depending on you, so you have to do a good job. You can do this, Ritsuka. Come on1
Right. So. I’m okay. Whoever opened the door is not trying to lock me in, as far as I know anyway. Why did they call me?
Remembering I haven’t, I turn and look at the room behind me. It’s lit, but only dimly. It…kind of looks like a hospital room? But. An old one, and not a very nice one. Like they do in movies from earlier times. There’s almost…a replica of a room? Built into the middle of this one. It’s…like in Mission Impossible movies, when they finish tricking someone and pull down the walls and it wasn’t really a hotel room at all. There’s two windows, and I can’t exactly see what’s in the room from where I am, but I can tell that whoever is in there is seeing little medical set pieces left outside them. This is weird.
It's…way more elaborate than any of the others have been. That seems really strange. Are they actually trying to trick whoever is in there?
I can’t think of another reason to do this.
And there is someone in there, right? There’s gotta be. Or, why would I be getting a call for help? So, a heroic spirit, in a really weird death trap? One that is tricking them into thinking they’re somewhere else. That’s…meaner, somehow, I think. I feel a pang in my chest at the guesses I’m making in my head. I hate this—I hate all of this. I just can’t understand why they’re doing it at all. It’s all been bad since that moment I first saw Billy from across a room, but I really can’t get the way the Lancer looked out of my head. I keep wondering how it would feel to be alive and see your guts hanging out on the ground, and I hate that thought—it makes me sick imagining it, but I can’t stop. And he did—he lived that for real! Minutes ago. Minutes ago, he was hanging there with his guts on the ground and a pole through his stomach. He felt all of that, all of it. For he said two and a half days. I…I can’t even…begin to imagine…
And. ...The other thing is, I also keep thinking that none of the spirits liked it, when they saw him like that, but, none of them seemed really…surprised. I wonder. …I wonder if that means this isn’t so different from other things that happen to them. I. I really hope it is—I hope this is nothing like what normally happens, and I’m just making a big deal of nothing in my head. I hope the worst of it is being bossed around and made to fight, because that’s bad enough. But.
I…might not be experienced, but. I’m not stupid. And…I know it’s more than that…
I know it’s worse…
Okay. Come on. Time for this later. Get moving! It’s about them and you want to help them, so let’s go—let’s help! You got this.
Shaking myself internally, I give the stuff around me a quick glance. First thing, better let the person opening the door know they can stop—that’ll eventually draw attention. Whoever it is can’t see me, in Robin’s cloak, and I’m a little afraid to take it off, so…
Settling on a nearby medical cabinet prop, I walk over and open one of the drawers a few times. It works. Whoever it is might not see me, but they can sure see the ghost cabinet, and they take the hint. The door closes and stays shut, which…is unsettling, but. I pretty much just asked for them to do that, so. It’s probably okay. And if anything seems off, I can call for backup. Whoever is out there asked for my help, though, so I’m gonna believe that was sincere until I have proof otherwise, and I’m gonna try.
Turning, I go slowly towards the little mock room ahead, and hesitate at the door. It doesn’t have a window, but it has an old-fashioned keyhole, so I stoop and peer inside. It’s not a good angle, but I can make out a hospital bed in there, with a body on it. I think their eyes are open, but they’re perfectly still. There’s something unsettling about the sight, even after everything I’ve seen today. And there’s…something else. A weird…heaviness, to the room. Some kind of mana, I think, but I don’t know enough about magic to tell what it is. I do know enough to be able to tell whatever it is, isn’t good.
I consider my options. I can still hear fighting faintly above me, so I shouldn’t call for help unless I need it—I might mess them up. I could wait, but now that they know we’re here, they might start killing the spirits they have. So…I should go ahead and go in alone. It’s not like I haven’t done that before. And…it should be fine. If I explain who I am, I think I’ll be safe, and if anything starts to go wrong, I’ll call for help.
My heart’s thudding in my chest so much I feel like throwing up, but I clench my fist and bring it in tight against my chest, then reach my hands up and pull off the hood of Robin’s cloak. I’m not totally sure how it works, and if it’s the action, or the fact I want to stop being invisible, but I see myself again as I do it. No going back I guess. If I’m on camera, I’m on camera. I pause to take a deep breath, and turn the knob.
It isn’t locked.
The door swings open, and before me, I can clearly make out now what looks like a pretty convincing old-fashioned hospital room. Not…in a good way. There are bars over the windows, and straps on the bed, for holding patients down, and here’s a man on the bed, held in place by them.
It…it feels so unnecessary. He looks ill, like he probably would have trouble getting up off the bed no matter what, and a little old. White hair, but a face not as old as I expect with it. I have a hard time telling how old adult people are when they’re between 40 and 70, and he seems not at the older end of that spectrum, but at first glance I thought for a moment he was older. His face is haggard, worn out like he’s on the verge of death. Huge bags under his eyes, gaunt features, and his eyes themselves are milky and vacant. There’s…something really wrong with him. He’s got a bandage on his head too, and one around his throat, both blead-through a little. What…happened to you?
He doesn’t seem to see me at first. Just keeps staring blankly towards one of the fake windows, then slowly turns his head and his empty eyes towards me.
Something changes. The haze drops, if just a little, and I can see life deep beneath the clouds in his eyes.
“A child?” he asks me. His voice is damaged, from whatever happened to his throat, and he sounds weak, but the thing that stands out isn’t that, it’s how his voice itself sounds. There’s an air I’ve only ever heard from teachers, the good ones—a kind of sophisticated and educated and understanding way of talking that makes them sound smart and kind and good to be around all at the same time. “What are you doing here?”
He tries to smile at me. He looks so weak, it’s pitiful.
“…” I can’t find my voice. I swallow, take a step closer, and try again. “I’m. Ritsuka, Fujimaru—I came here to try to help.”
“Help?” he echoes, confused. There’s…so much pain in his voice too. Like being sad is a part of who he is.
“To—get you out of here,” I manage, taking another step.
His brows knit in weak confusion. “Do I know you?”
“No, but I’m here to help everyone trapped in here anyway,” I answer.
He smiles a little, sadly, and shuts his eyes for a moment, breathing taking immense effort. “That’s very kind of you. It’s not the most comforting place to end a life.” He speaks and his voice has that same tone, gentle, and overflowing with pain. “But I don’t think there’s a lot more you can do for any of us. Than come to visit.” He opens his eyes again and turns his head weakly to look at me. “Which is always nice. It can get lonely in a place like this.”
I don’t. Understand? He.
“You want to get out, right?” I ask, taken aback.
“Of course,” he answers simply, shutting his eyes again, voice and breaths raspy, “But it’s not that simple. I have to be here now, and it won’t be much longer.” He smiles to himself again. “You’re kind to worry for us.”
He sounds like he really means that. I’m so confused—unless—?
Thoughts racing, I take in the room again, the attention to detail. I try hard to focus on the heaviness in the room; I’ve never been good at sensing magic, but I give it everything I’ve got, and I can tell something is not just in the room, it’s on him. A curse? A spell? Maybe…If I can find it, I can…
Taking a step to try and see him up close, he hears me moving and opens his eyes and turns to look. Seeing me, he looks surprised.
“Hello there, little one. What are you doing in a place like this?”
I stop and stare.
“Are you alright?” he asks, concerned.
“We…just talked—do you not remember me?” I ask. My voice sounds so small it surprises me. I see his face fall. He looks…some kind of very deep sad, like that question cut to his core.
“I’m sorry,” he says, eyes moving to look at something that isn’t me, “My memory isn’t what it was.” He tries to smile at me and looks back again. “What brings someone like you to a place like this?”
“I came…to help you,” I reply meekly. There’s no recognition in his eyes. Just mild surprise again.
What did they. …Why did they...
“Sir,” I say, taking another step, “Do you know that you’re a heroic spirit?”
I think he almost laughs, and I can see in his face he has no idea not only what he is, but what a heroic spirit is at all. “I appreciate the compliment, but there’s really nothing heroic about me,” he says like he’s found my question very sweet.
Oh boy. What do I do? I don’t know complex magic. I can’t…I can’t fix this on my own, unless, if I can get him to contract, I could with a command spell, but. If he doesn’t even know what heroic spirits are, he’ll never agree! He won’t even be able to. And, if I try to explain, and he thinks what I’m doing is super weird, he might freak out, and- ���Okay, okay, come on, think. Stay cool.
“What happened?” I ask, indicating his injuries as I move closer. I’m almost at the bedside now, and there’s a little metal chair there. I move it beside him and sit down, like I really am someone who came to visit a hospital room.
No. Not hospital. Asylum.
His face loses the little color it had.
“I’m sorry—I—maybe that’s too personal,” I say quickly, feeling very bad, “I shouldn’t have asked.”
He gives me a kindly smile. “Fell,” he answers, and he tries to indicate I think the head wound, but can’t because he’s strapped down, and I see surprise and then pain and shame with it register on his face as he looks down at himself. You forgot. That too…
“What’s your name?” I ask, hoping to distract him.
It sort of works. He glances back at me, surprised again. “You don’t know me? Are you just visiting everyone here today?”
“Yes,” I answer, because in a way that’s true.
He smiles. There’s barely anything but skin and bones on his face. He looks so ill I believe what he said earlier, about how it wouldn’t be much longer. “That’s kind of you,” he says again, “I’m sure it will cheer all of us up. It can get a little boring around here, the days long.”
The thought of how true that must be is agonizing. It makes me want to cry. Whoever he was, this must have been how he died, a long time ago. Alone, hurt, and with a broken memory, in an asylum. I can’t think of many lonelier ways to go.
“My name is Antonio,” he says. He must have been some kind of teacher, the way he sounds proud and welcoming at once saying his own name.
“I’m Ritsuka,” I introduce myself again, “Fujimaru.”
“Ritsuka,” he echoes, curious, “Where are you from?”
“Japan,” I answer.
“Your Italian is perfect—even the accent,” he says.
“We aren’t speaking Italian,” I say before I can think not to.
Something cracks in his face. He winces, almost like a full-body tick. His eyes get vacant, and then very, very alive for just a moment, and there’s horror in them.
“I,” he says, faltering. Listening. “Sto…parlando Italiano…No.”
Crap. Crap crap crap.
He looks at me, terrified. Right on the edge of understanding something, and unable to make it.
“What am I?” he begs me in his broken voice. It’s not what I thought he’d say, and I am completely lost in how to answer him. “Who?” He tries to move his hands again, and can’t and in despair tries to rip them free. Failing again, he turns back to me, desperate. “Please!”
“It’s okay—it’s okay--I’m here to help you!” I promise. I can’t stand the way he’s looking at me like I’m doing this and he’s begging me to stop. I would never. “I know this is confusing—I don’t know what they did to you, but they messed with your head.”
“My?” He tries to move a hand again, already having forgotten, and looks down in despair at the restraints, then me.
“Here,” I say quickly, and I unthread the ones around his wrists, then chest. Still unbelievably weak, he raises a shaking hand to his head and feels it, wincing, then brings it down to his neck and leaves it there.
Staring into space, confused and horrified, and out of it.
“Antonio?” I try.
He glances at me again, distracted, but more awake than he was.
“I can help you, but I need you to trust me to do it.” I look at my hand, then hold it out to him, palm-up. “You’re still you, whoever you were before. You��re still Antonio. But it’s later than you think, and you’re a little different too. I can explain, but I think if you trust me, I can fix what they did to you, and you’ll be able to remember on your own. That way will make a lot more sense.”
“Trust you,” he echoes, and I see the fog starting to settle back over his eyes, his previously terrified posture starting to go slack.
“No-no-no-no, hey!” I say, reaching over and putting a hand on his shoulder.
That does something, and he blinks and looks at my hand. I’m so afraid he’s going to ask me who I am again, but instead he says, “What?” in a kind of out of it voice.
Crap crap I’m gonna lose him.
“Listen to me. I’m speaking Japanese right now, and so are you. This place?” I say, letting go and hopping up, idea formed, “It’s not real—You’re not where you think!” I run at the nearest wall and slam into it, and it topples back like the set piece it is, and he watches in horror and jerks when it thuds against the floor, then stares at the room past it in alarm. “You’re being kept here against your will, and the people who did this are messing with your head! I can help you—I came here to help, but you have to trust me.”
Face ashy, he focuses back on me.
“If you form a pact with me, I can help you,” I say more calmly, going to sit back down.
“I don’t-“ he starts, and then he winces again, that full-body kind of jerk, like something has cracked inside him, and when he looks at me again, the fog has receded a little. “I’m…you said, ‘heroic spirit.’ I’m…dead. …I’m…I’m not…Antoino… I am…I’m…I…”
I’m losing him again and he’s staring at the wall. I reach over and put my hands on his and that snaps him out and he looks at me again. “You are. You’re Antonio. You’re Antonio…?”
“Salieri,” he says almost vacantly, but his eyes are still alive, and holding mine. I can see him deep in there past whatever Ur-shanabi’s done to him, fighting.
“You’re Antonio Salieri,” I echo, “And you’re a heroic spirit. If you form a contract with me, I can help you. I’ll try to anyway, if you don’t want to, but I’m not very good at magic. I’ll do my best, but I swear, if you are willing to form a contract, I won’t do anything to hurt you—I’m only here to try—”
There’s a loud sound between a thud and a hum, and we both look up towards the source of it. Something in the ceiling?
Huh.
I was so used to the sound of it, I hadn’t even realized the bedframe itself was making a low-pitched humming as well, but it shuts off and I am immediately aware of the absence of it. We both look in unison again, down at the bedframe, and I see Antonio’s brow furrow in confusion, and then he holds up a hand, and I realize it’s not completely opaque.
It's already not completely opaque.
No. No!
“They pulled the plug!” I say desperately, and he turns his head to look at me again. Whatever they did to make him like this, it must not have been connected to his power source, because he’s just as out of it as before. This is all wrong and he’ll be dead in a few seconds, as fast as he’s starting to vanish! I have to—“Please—hurry—if you vanish they’ll summon you back! I can ground-“
His expression changes entirely.
In an instant, the fog is gone and the welcoming calmness and kindness is gone and his expression is hard and volatile.
I was wrong—whatever curse was on him was connected to his power source, because it is gone now, and it’s like he’s not even the same person he was a moment before. He looks into my face and I’m scared of him. No, I think…I think I’m terrified of this person. He looks like death—he looks like hate—looks like them in a way I had no idea person could look. Like they’re not what he’s feeling, they’re what he is. Meeting his gaze makes me scared he’s going to snap me between his fingers, and not even for any personal reason, just because it’s his nature. But then I’m past that in his eyes, and behind it is the same thing I saw before. The same person, deep beneath it. Kind and intelligent and composed. Like he’s wearing a terrifying Halloween costume over who he really is.
And I’m okay.
I think he sees that, sees all of it, and he looks…hurt and touched and a little surprised, all at the same time. He glances down at me, and then holds out a transparent hand, palm-up.
“I am not much of a servant,” he warns me, and he sounds harder than before, colder, and sharp, but the teacher tone is still there. The one that says ‘I will show you how to do it right even if it takes a long time, don’t worry. Come take a seat,’ all patient, and kind, and knowledgeable. Layered beneath the new tone, the same way the look in his eyes was. “I’ll warn you ahead of time that I’m dangerous to be around, and I haven’t much power to offer you, but if you still want a contract with a servant like me, I will accept your offer.”
“Of course I do,” I say without hesitation, and I take his hand, “But I don’t want a servant. I want a partner.”
He tilts his head like this is unexpected, but somehow his face doesn’t look too surprised, and he closes his vanishing fingertips around mine.
“My soul becomes your will, your spirit becomes my destiny. If you hear me and accept my call, then bind to me-“ I realize I have no idea what his class is and look to him.
“Avenger,” he says in that broken, sad voice, but he has a weak smile on his face.
‘Avenger’? “-Avenger,” I finish.
“I accept,” he replies, and I feel a tug on my chest and flood of mana, and I thought I’d be fine because I’m getting used to this, but I forgot I’m kind of beat right now, and I think I pass out—only for a second, but I’m upright, and then I’m face-first on the bed, no idea how I got there, the Avenger gently helping me back up.
I feel awful, but he’s solid again, mostly, and looking better. I mentally check to make sure everyone I have a contract with is still alive, and I feel all the connections going strong.
“Great,” I say weakly, grinning at him, “We did it.”
“Are you alright?” he asks.
“Mmm…hh..” I slump forward and pass out.
19 notes · View notes
butteraway · 3 years ago
Text
when time runs out | v
⋆ summary:  A young girl has fallen deeply ill with an unknown disease in her, so with all her free time spent in an empty hospital room, she spends it online playing video games. That's until she meets her cousins friends, one spiking her interest with his extremely vulgare language.
pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader
word count: 6.3k
warnings: none
authors note: HERE IT IS!! A whopping 6k chapter can you believe this lol :’) I plan on making the chapters this long, so that means it’ll take a little longer for me to write,,, But enjoy this guys!
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Y/N was laying on her bed, twirling the bottle of pills that captivated her interest. Sitting up, she slowly opened the cap and took a pill out. She examined it, liking how the yellow and green color meshed together. The pills didn't look like anything special, just your basic average pill.
Her conversation with doc was a bit unnerving though to say the least. The doctor was acting a bit off if you asked her.                                      ______________________
Y/N looked at Receen with uncertainty painting her face. What was the meaning of this? Was it really possible for her if she took these pills? He wouldn't try to kill her? They've known each other for almost two years, so he wouldn't try anything.
Right?
"C'mon Y/N, you trust me right? You can see your family again, just take them!" Doctor Receen urged the girl with an enthusiastic smile. Though the look in his eyes seemed a bit desperate for her to take them. Weird.
"Say, Doc, I don't wanna sound ungrateful or anything, but-" she was cut off by a soft laugh. It sounded more forced.
"Y/N, there's nothing to worry about! You had professionals work and conduct these small things! Here! Just take them and think about it!" Receen tossed the bottle to Y/N, who barely caught it with both hands. "I'll have someone bring in some fresh clothes just in case you do want to try these things out.”
And just like that he was out the door.                                     ______________________
Y/N scratched the back of her neck as she put the pill back in the bottle, wondering why the doctor was pushy with her taking them. Her eyes wandered around the room until they landed on the new pile of clothes sitting on the edge of her bed. A kind lady bought it a short while ago, giving her a small smile before leaving.
Though, Y/N decided she'd play a game before calling her parents to tell them the wonderful news. It still felt odd for her to just get pills for her sickness right then and there. Even if it wasn’t a permanent solution. She wasn't even informed about the making of her medicine, despite what Receen had told her. All that she knew was that they were trying to keep her alive. Turning on her console and taking her controller, she glanced at the bottle. She didn't close it of course, wanting to see that they were actually real. 
Putting on her headphones, she put on Fortnite and waited for other players to join. She really hated this game, but it was hilarious to see people rage. Seeing someone join, she tried to talk to them, but got no response. Briefly closing her eyes for a few seconds, she snapped them open after hearing a familiar gruff voice. King Explosion Murder!
"We better win this or I'll look for all of you and kill you." That was literally the first thing the dude said as the game began. Y/N let out an awkward chuckle, a sweat drop appearing on her forehead. This'll be interesting. She cleared her throat, slightly catching the attention of ‘Explosion Murder'.
"Hey! Do you remember me? We played together a few nights ago, with this other guy called Tape Dispenser on OverWatch!" Y/N decided to take a friendly approach, trying not to blow a fuse with this guy. I do not wanna be on this guy's bad side again. Silence filled the air, making Y/N feel slightly uncomfortable.
"Who the fuck are you?" Said girl nearly choked on her spit as she doubled over. She began shooting at random people as the game began, taking them down and moving with her small team. She once again felt her eyebrow twitch.
"What do you mean 'who are you?' Y/N asked, lowering her voice to mimic Murder's voice. She made her character shoot a person in front of her. Headshot!
"I have no idea who the hell you are, so shut the hell up!" Murder's voice rang through her ear as she winced at the volume. So loud! Her other teammate was shot down and killed, making Y/N sigh.
"You sure dude? I'm the one who almost won the game, but like, died at the very end?" Y/N didn't even know why she was even trying to talk to this guy. She just felt like she wanted to know him better. Or her. Could be a girl with a really deep voice? Murder was quiet before a growl like grunt was heard.
"So you're the damn girl who did that." Murder's voice was low and Y/N didn't know whether or not to feel scared for herself. "Haha! Yeah, that was me." She awkwardly laughed, not sure if he was going to blow a fuse because of that.
Murder was quiet, with the exception of his breathing being heard through her headphones. Y/N just came to the conclusion that Murder was, in fact, a dude. She didn't want to believe that a girl had that deep of a voice. It was possible, she thought, though she couldn't picture a female with that voice. She'd die if she did. The thought made her stifle a laugh.
"The fuck you laughing about?!" Y/N looked at his kill counts and her eyes widened. 7 already?! Goddamn! She looked at her own and only saw three. "Well aren't you curious now?" Murder let out a huff, as if he were trying to contain his inner rage. "I was asking for a goddamn reason." 
Y/N swore she could feel his irritation through the screen. The two met up and began to continue to go to the middle of the map. 6 kills. Cool! She once again looked at Murder's kills and felt her confidence deflate once again. Way to make me depressed dude. As she was shooting a player, Y/N looked at the kill feed and almost spit everywhere.
"MOTHER FUCKING FUCKER!" This dude exploded, and by the noise, she assumed he threw his chair. This dude! Suddenly, an idea came in her, oh so beautiful, head. "Yo yo yo, bro! I gotta deal!" This caught Murder's attention as he let out an aggressive 'What.’ She smiled wide as she continued to play the game, knocking down and killing another player. 
"I carry the team and win, you accept my friend request!" 
"What if you don't win, huh?" That's what Y/N was scared of. She let out a defeated sigh and surrendered. "I'll give you the most rare skin I own." There was silence as she took some damage from another player. 
"Which is what?" She swallowed and opened her mouth. "It's the skin that was only given to 5 players from the event last year." 
"Deal." He said it so fast that Y/N was actually scared to give him it. But she always kept her word. Looking to see how much other players were left, she felt her heart speed up. Why am I freaking doing this?! The girl continued to focus on the game at hand and began skillfully killing the other players. She got hit a few times, but never went down. When it was finally one player left, besides herself, she began to be cautious. At last, she took down the final player and yelled out in joy!
"Oh yeah! Now that's what I'm talking about baby! Sweet sweet victory!" Y/N cheered while throwing her hands up in the air and slightly jumping on her bed. She had no idea why she was even this excited to win. Maybe it's cuz I like him. Y/N stopped mid cheer, before she burst out with laughter as she wondered why she even thought that. She doesn't even know the guy!
"Well, looks like you're gonna have to accept me!" Murder let out a couple of grumbles and snide comments as he accepted her request that she sent. "It was only fucking luck. Don't get too cocky."
Y/N gave a toothy smile that he couldn't see and giggled. "Whatever helps you sleep at night." The small girl looked at the time and decided this was enough for the day. "Well Mr. Explody, I gotta go! It was cool playing with you!" 
"Yeah yeah, whatever. Get off now, you're starting to piss me off." Y/N laughed at his sour attitude and decided to fuel the flame some more.
"Y'know, you should work on your gaming. You suck." The girl quickly got off the game and turned off her console, but not without hearing him yell at her. The smile never left her face as she fell on her back and looked at the ceiling. Gosh, he's so weird. She continued to replay their interactions before turning her head and looking at the phone. She sighed and sat up. 
All her happy feelings went down the drain. Something just didn't feel right with the medicine the doctor gave her. Whatever. It's probably because I always thought I'd be cooped up in this room for the rest of my life. Y/N blinked and walked to the phone and dialed her parents number. She stood anxious, hearing the phone ring and her hands trembling with excitement? Fear? Who knows.
"Hello? Y/N? How are you!" Her mom's cheery voice sounded through the phone and once again, the girl smiled. "Hi Mommy! I'm fine, perfectly fine actually. What about you?" She decided to keep things smooth and simple. The laughter of her mother brought Y/N back to reality.
"Oh Y/N! No need to be so formal! I'm your mother, no need to act like that!" Y/N let out a chuckle and brushed her hair away from her face. "Yeah, sorry Mommy." 
"And to answer your question, I am doing amazing!" She let out a hum, letting her mother know she heard. "Well, I have some kind of big and important news. So basically, Doctor Receen made some kind of medicine. For my, y'know, 'sickness.' Crazy right?"
There was a small pause before the cheerful voice of her mother sounded in her ear. "I know! The Doctor had already told your father and I beforehand! I was so ecstatic, and I still am for you-"
"Wait, you already knew? And you didn't tell me?" Y/N’s voice was filled with confusion. Why didn’t mom tell me? Was she keeping it a secret? Did she try hiding it from me? Was she ever going to-
“Well I wanted it to be a surprise for you from the doctor!” Said the older woman happily, leaving Y/N to feel embarrassed. She let out a small ‘Oh’, and rubbed her neck. Why did she even think her mother wouldn’t tell her something so important? Shaking her head, Y/N continued.
“Well thank you! I’m still, uh, just still a little skeptical of the pills. I’m not sure if they are actually going to work…” The clear doubt was heard in the girl’s voice. Her mother furrowed her eyebrows.
“But sweetie! Of course they’re going to work! I would’ve thought you’d be more excited about this!” Glancing up to look at the bottle, Y/N could only let out a short ‘yeah.’ 
“So when will you be coming! Your dad and I agreed that we would pick you up after you took one of the pills, so you could come home for a while!” Her mother’s voice continued to rant off about what they were going to do when she came back home. While the voice continued, Y/N drifted off into her head.
How am I going to tell Denki this? Should I like, surprise him when he comes back from school? Hmm, I swear if he cries, I think I will too-
“Y/N! Y/N honey are you there?” Zooming back into reality, she let out a chuckle from her mother’s worried voice.
“Yeah mom, sorry. I was just thinking about some things.” M/N hummed in understanding. It grew quiet quick, but soon was filled with Y/N’s sweet voice. “I think I’ll take the pill on Friday mommy. You can come pick me up at around three. This gives you some time to prepare for everything, heh.”
Her mother let out loud cheers, happy that she will be able to see her daughter face to face again. It’s been so long since she had last seen Y/N, not being able to take it, seeing her child confined in a spacious room. 
The two talked for a short moment more until they decided to hang up. Placing down the phone, Y/N sighed. Dragging herself and the IV back to her bed, she sat in silence. Who knows how long she stayed in that position, all that she knows is that she was snapped out of her daze after a brief knock to her door. She hummed, loud enough for the person to hear. Opening the door, the woman walked in, boots squeaking against the clean floor. The short spray in the air filled the silence as the doctor walked over to Y/N’s IV bag.
Watching her check and adjust the fluid bag, Y/N’s big eyes snapped to the doctor’s face when she began speaking. “You’ve been moving a lot. The needle is off center from where it’s supposed to be.” 
As she said that, the girl felt a slight pinch on her arm and saw the doctor putting the needle back into its rightful place. Satisfied with the placement of the needle, she hummed in acceptance and patted Y/N’s arm with her gloved hand. Moving her arm around to get used to the feeling of it back inside her body, Y/N wondered when it had fallen out. Huh, I didn’t even notice. 
Feeling the need to fill the silence, Y/N spoke. “Well, today was an exciting day, haha. Received amazing news and had a wonderful conversation with my mom.” Y/N chuckled in false amusement, but the doctor could only narrow her eyes at the small girl. “Mm, you sound so excited, I could tell when I first walked in here.”
Now Y/N did laugh at that. Who knew the scary doctor lady could go along with her sarcasm! With now gleaming eyes, the excitement was now visible in her eyes. Now that she knew the doctor was ‘nice’, she definitely was going to have fun talking with this doctor. Seeing as she turned around and went to head towards the door, Y/N was quick to stop her. 
“Hey! What’s your name?” The doctor’s eyes widened in shock and turned fully to the girl who had now stood up.
“What do you mean ‘what’s your name?’ I’ve been one of your main doctors for two years!” The woman exclaimed in exasperation, unbelieving of the situation she was just put in. Y/N could only weakly shrug.
“Sorry about that! I just, uh, like was too nervous around you to remember your name?” As pathetic as the excuse was, she was telling the truth! I am so sorry Ms. Doctor! The older woman could only shake her head in amusement.
“My name is Doctor Shuzenji Kumiko, but call me Doctor Kumiko. Now you better remember that, this will be the last time I tell you my name.” Y/N nodded her head with such affirmation, Doctor Kumiko thought the child would accidentally hurt herself. And right now she did not need that happening. While she shook her head though, Y/N couldn’t help but feel a strike of familiarity at her name. But what about it is familiar? Cranking every gear in her head, she failed to notice Doctor Kumiko looking around the room.
Doctor Kumiko was never able to get a proper look around the sick girl’s room, seeing as her mission was to go in, check if Y/N was ok, and then get out. Though she immediately noticed how empty her room was. Only one big bed, a flat screen tv perched on a small table, and the medical equipment were all that occupied the room. Though now that she started paying more attention, the room was a different color. Bland white walls were now full of a bright color, something not too dark, but not too eye bleeding. It was a nice appealing color that suited the girl standing in front of her. That’s when Doctor Kumiko’s eyes landed on the small table next to the grand bed. They slightly widened as they caught eyesight on the small bottle. 
“I can’t believe he gave them to her.” Kumiko hissed silently just as Y/N snapped her fingers. Staring at the doctor, she tilted her head. 
“Did you say something?”
“Huh? Oh no, it’s nothing! Just remembering something is all!” Doctor Kumiko rubbed her neck, putting the momentary problem in the back of her head for now. Y/N shrugged her shoulders, curiously looking at the doctor in front of her. Clearing her throat, the doctor shifted the focus off herself.
“So were you going to say something?” Slowly fiddling with her gloved hands, the Doctor could only sigh in relief as Y/N eyes popped open quickly.
“AH YES!” Y/N quickly wobbled to the doctor forgetting to take the IV that weighed her down with her. The doctor let out a small gasp, stepping behind the girl and rolling it next to Y/N who didn’t pay any attention to that.
“I finally recognize where I heard that last name from! And no, I didn’t just remember your name you supposedly told me before.” The lady’s sharp eyes rolled, letting her continue.
“RECOVERY GIRL HAS THE SAME SURNAME! ISN’T THAT INSANE?! I HONESTLY FIND THAT SO COOL! I wish I had the same name as a famous person, oooo like All Might’s name, or or even Endeavor’s!” Doctor Kumiko cringed at the sound of Endeavor’s name but paid no mind to that. Right now she had to deal with a hero fangirl. Just then Y/N abruptly stopped her rapid talking, moving closer to Doctor Kumiko’s face.
“Wait. Are you like-” Y/N looked around the room as if there was someone else watching them. When she was done, she leaned closer to the doctor’s protected head and whispered the following words. “Are you Recovery Girl’s daughter?” The woman could only sigh and stared into the girl’s shining eyes. When Y/N got no response she determined her answer by herself.
“Oh my gOSH!!! WAIT LIKE FOR REAL?! LIKE YOU’RE ACTUALLY HER DAUGHTER?? YOU LOOK A LITTLE YOUNG TO BE HER DAUGHTER BUT I’M NOT COMPLAINING! WOW THIS IS SO CRAZY, ALL THIS TIME YOU WALKED IN HERE AND I HAD NO IDEA WHO YOU ACTUALLY WERE!! I HAVE TO TELL DENKI HE’S GONNA FREAK OUT-” Doctor Kumiko bellowed a laugh so grand it had Y/N laughing along as well. After attempting to wipe away her tears soon realizing she couldn’t due to her helmet, she let out more bubbly laughs. 
“Aahhh, you’re pure gold!! I can see why Receen likes you!” She smiled brightly down towards Y/N who gave her a beaming grin of her own in return. “But yes! You’re right, though not entirely.” 
Y/N trying to keep up with Doctor Kumiko’s pace to her bed, they both sat down and got comfortable. “Since you basically found out my family tree, to answer your question fully, I am related to Recovery Girl. I’m not her daughter, but her granddaughter instead.” 
The small girl’s eyes widened in shock. No way. She actually met someone who’s related to one of the greatest heroes of all time. Don’t fight her on this, she knows what she’s talking about. As she stared at the doctor with such admiration, Kumiko could only give her a weak smile. She knew what the next question would be. Her answer would always leave people with disappointment. 
“Wait! Does that mean that you have a similar quirk to Recovery Girl? After two generations, wouldn’t your quirk be more evolved at this point? Or do you have a mixture of both your parents quirk, seeing as your mom could’ve inherited some of Recovery Girl’s quirk or something like that!” Doctor Kumiko only shook her head leaving Y/N confused.
“Then did you get a quirk similar to your dads?” Once again shaking her head no, Y/N was beyond confused. Until a thought passed through her head.
“Are you… are you quirkless?” Y/N didn’t really consider a descendant from a nationwide known hero to be quirkless. It’s possible, but very unlikely. After all, only 20 percent of people in the world aren’t born with quirks. Me included. Y/N’s eyebrow twitched at the truth of her thought train. Once again though, the doctor shook her head and went to explain to the young girl.
“I do have a quirk, so that’s not the problem. The problem lies in how efficient my quirk is.” Y/N listened intently, ready to store this useful information in her memory. Ohoho Denki is gonna be sooo jealous, heheh. “My quirk is actually quite weak compared to my grandmother.”
“My mother was born quirkless, meaning that when she had me, many doctors had thought I would be too. But instead, I got a similar quirk to my grandmother. Since my mother had direct DNA from her, part of that DNA was transferred to me, to her granddaughter. Everyone was ecstatic to learn I had gotten a quirk similar to my grandmother, some even thought my quirk would be even greater than hers.
“But alas, I was handed the remains of the quirk from my mother, so I only proved to have a much much weaker quirk compared to Recovery Girl.” Soaking up the information, Y/N looked to Doctor Kumiko. Despite sharing not so amazing information, she didn’t seem to be too bothered by sharing it. In fact, she looked perfectly fine!
“I’ve come to terms that my quirk will always be a weak one, but that doesn’t stop me from using it all. I help as best as I could, using my quirk to help young children when they scrape their knees, and just replenishing as much energy into those who need it the most. I think the biggest wound I’ve healed was a large burn! I was so proud of myself, but I was just so exhausted! So I mostly conserve energy when I need to.”
Y/N nodded, happy that the doctor was sharing so much with her. She didn’t care if it was ‘improper’ or something, she was just glad to be able to talk to someone who wasn’t Receen or Denki.
“You seem quite happy with what you do. How much people have you helped?” Y/N smiled happily at the doctor. “ I’ve helped so many people. And just with my quirk!” Sighing happily, Doctor Kumiko got up and headed towards the door. 
“Do you visit Recovery Girl often?” Y/N had a small favor she would like to ask the doctor, though she needed to make sure she was able to do it first. 
“Of course, she is my grandmother after all. She would spam call me if I hadn’t visited her in over a week.” Doctor Kumiko deadpanned at the thought of that, having experienced that before. Y/N giggled at the thought, phone constantly ringing for who knows how long!
“Makes me deliver her food too if she forgot it. That lady is too much work sometimes.” The doctor rubbed her head, a headache already rolling in at the thought of all the things her grandmother makes her do.
‘Well since you see and visit her~” Y/N smiled sweetly at the woman looking at her with suspicious eyes. “Then that means you have access to the U.A. building!” Now Kumiko was narrowing her eyes at the girl at this point.
“Yes, I’m also a helper at the school too. What cards are you playing right now Ms. L/N?” Said girl chuckled mischievously, quickly moving to grab a small note pad in the drawer of her small table. Ripping out a piece of paper and quickly scribbling words on it and folding it, she handed the paper to the doctor who stared at it in confusion.
“GREAT! I need you to deliver this to my cousin that goes to the school! Since you have access to the school, which I don’t know why you didn’t tell me sooner, this makes your little journey for me easier!” Sharp eyes flew from the paper in her hand to the young girl’s face, back to the paper. Sighing, she silently agreed.
“Thank you!!! Ok, so his name is Kaminari Denki and he’s a first year in the hero course! I don’t know which one, but he’s in one of them if he didn’t lie to me.” Chuckling, the doctor nodded and stood up from the bed. 
“Well I spent too much time in here. I think it’s been the most since the two years I’ve been checking up on you.” Walking to the door, she paused for a moment, turning around to look at the girl who had sat back down on her bed.
“I’ll be sure to get these to your cousin as soon as possible. Also, I’m sure you’ll be able to help so many people when you’re out of here. But please be careful with those pills. They’re very strong so consume them with caution." And with that, she left, door opening, closing, and the familiar sound of the air purifier turning on. 
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Chatter filled the classroom in the early morning, the students excited for another day in U.A. Ever since the recent villain attack, many of them were still filled with fear, though their determination to grow stronger overshadowed any negative thoughts. The days passed by since then and many of the young heroes have made it their goal to be stronger than they were before.
Which leads us to a blonde boy with a black lightning streak in his hair, sitting nonchalantly in his chair. He listened to his rambling friend, the red head mentioning something about Crimson Riot, or something like that.
“And ever since then, I always followed his words! He’s my number one inspiration after all-” A grunt was heard next to him, the boys’ eyes turning to the ash blond boy sitting next to them.
“Yeah yeah, we heard this story already, why don’t you talk about something new?” His gruff voice didn’t knock down the red head’s bright mood though, only pushing him to talk more.
“Alright Bakubro, if that’s what you want!” The boy grinned, his sharp teeth on display for everyone to see. And even despite that, no one was very afraid of his appearance, seeing as his personality shone out like the sun outside. “So what did you guys do this weekend? I’ve been training for hours! Ever since U.S.J, I’ll admit, I was still shaken up!” 
At the mention of what happened at U.S.J, more people around them joined in on their conversation. “Tell me about it, my parents didn’t want me coming back because of that.”
A few murmured in agreement, everyone now talking about their experiences at home. “You don’t know how long it took me to convince my mom to not call the school. But if anything, I’m still surprised Midoriya is still here. He was at the core of all the attacks!” 
Said boy turns red at the mention of that. I mean, his mom was really really worried about him, so he couldn’t really say anything. Scratching the back of his neck, he could only let out a nervous chuckle.
“Yeah, luckily All Might managed to come and save the day!” Excited chatter began to fill the room once again with everyone retelling each other how cool All Might was busting through the doors of U.S.J.. Ururaka jumped in as well, her voice filled with awe.
“Don’t forget how All Might even knew we were in trouble! If it weren’t for Iida speeding his way back to UA, who knows what could’ve happened!” Even more people agreed on that, some of the guys even patting the tall boy on the back. Clearing his throat, and trying to make the blush disappear off his face, Iida fixed his glasses and began talking.
“Well of course I did that, any sane person would have done it. After all it was the right thing to do, especially in our dire situation!”
“Ah there goes Iida humbling himself again!”
“Give yourself some credit dude!”
“It was still super cool how you managed to run that entire distance!”
Covering the raising blush on his face at the rapid compliments with his fist, he spoke once again, the others around him listening to his words. “It would have been more preferable if we were able to contact the school directly, help would’ve come much more quickly then.”
“Oh yeah! Too bad Kaminari couldn’t contact the school though, those villains really knew what they were doing!”
At the mention of his name, Kaminari faced Mina and gave a tight grin. “I didn’t even know that there were people who had quirks that can block out signals!” Some laughed, while others chuckled at the exasperation in the blonde boy's voice. An annoyed sigh cut through their laughter, everyone looking to the blonde spiky haired boy who interrupted their laughing fest. Just as he was about to speak, a knock was heard throughout the class, leaving the boy to grumble to himself as the door slid open.
A tall lady walked in, her straight posture already showing the students she meant business the moment they laid eyes on her. Her long, sleek black hair flowed behind her as she stepped more into the classroom, sharp eyes observing the kids in front of her. Immediately her eyes landed on a boy with narrowed red eyes, noticing he was giving her the stink eye.
Inwardly rolling her eyes at the boy's attitude, she went back to looking at the small crowd in front of her. “Hello, my name is Dr. Kumiko and-”
She was so rudely cut off by a very short boy who stood in front of her, the purple balls on her head making Kumiko furrow her eyebrows. “Are you our substitute? Wow you are gorgeous, has anyone told you that?”
As the boy continued talking, Dr Kumiko could only try and step around him in order to avoid his beady gaze. Cringing slightly, she turned her attention back to the class and watched as they curiously gazed at her. Clearing her throat sharply and loudly, that effectively shut the small boy up.
“First of all, no I am not your substitute, though I am aware you aren’t even getting one. Second of all, before you interrupted me, I was going to say I have a delivery for someone. The other hero class said I would most likely find him in here, since he was not one of their classmates.”
With that being said, murmurs erupted between students, all of them wondering what this delivery could be, that such a beautiful woman was sent to give it to one of the boys. 
Looking down at the piece of paper that was folded into an envelope, Doctor Kumiko’s eyes furrowed a little more as she tried remembering the name Y/N gave her. Uh, something like Kamayama? Kamayari? Kama- oh whatever! Straightening up, she decided that she wouldn’t attempt to damage her pride and decided to read what was written on the paper instead.
“Is there anyone who recognizes the phrase ‘electrifying baby, electrifying’? A choked cough sounded throughout the now quiet room, everyone’s eyes trailing to the blonde with a black streak in his hair. Doctor Kumiko wondered if he had dyed his hair like that.
“Uhm I recognize it?” Kaminari was too nervous to even consider how this random lady even knew him and his cousins inside joke. It became a joke when Kaminari had accidentally used his quirk when he got angry at a game both of them were playing. He went into his dumb mode and that was the first thing he said just to show Y/N he was alive. He’s still embarrassed to this day because of his slip up.
“Here you go, I was told to hand this letter to you. I’m sure you know who it is though.” Giving the teenage boy a smirk, the doctor walked closer to him, placing the piece of paper in his palms.
“Alright, since that’s all I needed to do, I’ll head off now. Don’t you give any trouble to your teacher when he arrives.” With a stern voice, Kumiko exited the classroom, sliding the door shut and leaving the students in a stunned silence.
Looking down at the smooth, neatly folded paper in his hands, Kaminari goes to open it with furrowed eyebrows, only to have it snatched from his secured hands.
“Whose this from?! A secret girlfriend we didn’t know about?!!” Inspecting the letter, Mineta’s fingers itched to open the letter himself. No way could Kaminari have a girlfriend! There were better options out there, like him for example! Cue eye roll.
“What?! No of course not dude! Just gimme the letter-” Reaching down to take back the paper, a pink hand stopped him from getting it. 
“Kaminari! There’s no need to be shy about it! You know we wouldn’t judge you, no matter how you managed to get a girl to agree to go out with you!” Mina turned around to Hagakure and Tsuyu, the pink girl’s eyes shimmering with delight!
“Wow, do you think this could be one of those romantic letters couples send to each other!” Giggling, Mina and Hagakure began to try and unravel the paper, only to be stopped by another hand delicately taking the paper away. 
“Yah! I was going to open that!” Turning around, the pink haired girl faced Aoyama, who looked at the letter with slight curious eyes.
“Did you know Paris is actually known as the city of love? I like to say I’m an expert in that station!” A deafening silence rolled throughout the class, Mina and Mineta deadpanning at what the purple eyed boy said. Quickly jumping towards him, both the students wrestled Aoyama for the letter, making a ruckus around them.
“Hey why are you- Just give me the piece of paper, it’s mine!” Soon joining their hustling, Kaminari rushed to try and retrieve the letter from who he knew was his cousin. Why do they go touching things that aren’t theirs!, Kaminari thought.
Soon, the now wrinkled paper flew away from their little cluster, floating all the way to another students desk. That student's desk being Bakugou’s. Staring hard at the paper that laid on his desk, he drew his hand near it to pick it up. Kaminari began to grow even more worried.
“H-hey Bakugou, uh could you give me my letter?” Kaminari suppressed the urge to shiver as he made eye contact with Bakugou’s piercing red eyes. His gaze then shifted to the small wisps of smoke that began appearing in the hand Bakugou clutched the letter in.
“You idiots are really screaming at each other. Because of a paper?” Adding more to his irritation and annoyance, more smoke began appearing around his hand. Now he was angry at their stupidity.
“C’mon Bakubro, don’t be like that! Just give Kaminari his letter.” Kirishima tried coaxing the angry blonde, but that only seemed to irritate him even more. Planning on just setting the damn paper on fire so his classmates would shut up about the stupid love letter, he clutched it even harder in his hand. Only to have it ripped away from him by something sticky. Glaring at the short black haired boy, Sero quickly yanked the fragile paper towards himself. 
Right now, Kaminari was panicking outwardly, rushing towards Sero to cradle the now ruined letter. His annoyance shot up quickly, sending clear glares to the four who wouldn’t give him his letter. Mina, Mineta and Aoyama looked away with guilt painting their faces, while Bakugou growled at Sero. Growled.
“Ugh look at what you guys did I- '' Taking a deep breath in, he allowed himself to cool down. They were just too curious, he told himself. Walking back to his seat, with Sero following him, he sat down and put the delicate paper on his desk. The once smooth paper was now crumbled and burnt around the edges. Resisting the urge to rub his eyes, he turned to Sero once again.
“Thanks bro.”
“No problem.” Their exchange was short, yet Sero knew Kaminari’s words were genuine. 
“Sorry about your letter Kaminari, I was just too excited thinking about you having a girlfriend.” Mina awkwardly chuckled, Mineta and Aoyama following in suit with quiet ‘yeah’s’. Giving them a small smile, he waved them off.
“I guess it’s fine. I got excited too. But I don’t have a girlfriend, this letter is from my cousin.” Nodding, she still let out a meek sorry, embarrassed that she got the whole story wrong. Mineta and his words, ugh.
Looking back to Bakugou, said boy could only let out a grunt and look away from Kaminari. Snorting, he turned his attention to the letter and began carefully unfolding the folds that had formed an envelope shape. Kaminari let a smile grace his face. She used to like making origamis. I could never have the patience to fold these kinds of stuff.
After finally opening every fold with utmost delicacy, he squinted his eyes to read what Y/N had written for him. It was hard reading due to some of the paper being burnt and blackened. He managed to read what she wrote though.
Surprise on Friday :)
Kaminari didn’t even have a second to even dwell on what that could mean, jumping slightly in his chair when he heard the door to the classroom slam open. Golden eyes widening, he quickly stuffed the paper into his bag and watched as Aizawa entered the classroom. Those who were standing quickly rushed to their seats to avoid getting called out by the fully casted and bandaged man.
Listening to his teacher’s muffled voice, he reminded himself to ask Y/N what she meant later when he got home. It was very vague, but Kaminari didn’t dwell on the fact too long. After all, he had a full and exhausting day of school ahead of him!
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rynzii-419 · 3 years ago
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Wilbur - Eight
Does anyone else remember when Wilbur said that he used the song Eight by Sleeping at Last as his inspiration for c!Wilbur? Well I sure do and I’m gonna talk about it. Now strap in while i analyze some of the lyrics and why c!wilbur has so many problems and honestly deserves more love
I was just a kid who grew up strong enough; To pick this armor up; And suddenly it fit; God, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago; I was little, I was weak and perfectly naive; And I grew up too quick
Personally I would connect this to his L’manburg arc. I think it could be saying that at first, he wasn’t as deep into this or as serious (honestly i think that’s a nice way to explain the not as serious roleplay of the l’manburg revolution: just the characters not fully getting the gravity of the situation). After so much war, he finally grew into his position as president and lost his innocence. Honestly I think people talk about this plenty with Tommy, but the idea of Wilbur having to switch from hanging out with his friends to being a real president and handling a betrayal really messed him up and forced him to “grow up” quickly.
Now you won't see all that I have to lose; And all I've lost in the fight to protect it; I won't let you in, I swore never again; I can't afford, no, I refuse to be rejected
Gosh this is the bit that made me think “okay time to write a quick analysis”. The line “i wont let you in” just GOSH. Wilbur’s emotions are so very repressed right now. People call him doing this manipulation, but I think this words it really well. He doesn’t even know how to begin to open up to the people around him. He trusted once, back then with Eret, and he hasn’t opened up since. All he had to lose was L’manburg, and he gave up literally everything for it, only for it to be torn away from him. He already had trust issues, but after the guy Wilbur invited to endorse him kicked him out of his country and ruined it, he started to spiral.
I want to break these bones 'til they're better; I want to break them right and feel alive; You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong; My healing needed more than time
Enough said. This is more about his future i believe than what has already happened. He needs someone to help him, from the outside. Of course, the change in him will happen inwards, but people cant just keep waiting for him to be better. I think Tommy had the potential to be there for him, but I’m not too sure that’s the best idea for Tommy’s own mental health.
When I see fragile things, helpless things, broken things; I see the familiar; I was little, I was weak, I was perfect, too; Now I'm a broken mirror
There we go. Literally what can I say? Wilbur is fragile helpless and broken. And that’s canon baby, cc!wilbur said so. But seriously this absolutely kills me. I actually relate to this song a lot, and hearing it about Wilbur tears me up knowing this is how he feels inside. Plus, the idea of him trying to be perfect even though he considers himself weak? Amazing. I love the idea of Techno and Wilbur training when he was younger and he decided that even though he was physically he decided he would be mentally strong, and that’s part of why he has these metaphorical walls around him.
The whole last part of the song is the part I’m waiting for in future lore. Its why I have high hopes for a Wilbur redemption arc. All he needs is to open up, and I’m just. I love him. I really want him to open up to someone, literally anyone. I think that’s his issue with Ranboo. He sees Ranboo trusting people and he feels threatened, I think. Its the one thing he cant do, I think it scares him to see. Now go listen to it it gives me chills and makes me cry
OH WAIT ONE LAST BIT!!
I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough; To hold the door shut; And bury my innocence
Okay im sorry just. This is so much to me. Any idea of innocence was just torn from him with force and that hurts me. A lot. He’s paranoid and repressed, and people call that manipulation, and honestly I hate that. Like cmon guys listen to this song. He has delusions and paranoia he is not manipulative he is mentally ill and needs help. Anyway yeah that was all I wanted to add I just think he needs more people defending him in a way.
Sorry it was kinda short btw i wrote this like train of thought style
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fairycosmos · 3 years ago
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i need help i can’t stop thinking about killing myself like it’s happened before but i’ve never gone through with it it’s going to hurt i know it i know
i'm really sorry to hear that love :( it seems like you're having such a hard time right now. i know there's nothing i can do or say that will really put a dent in ur pain, but since we're both here rn i'll do a bit of talking and if you're not feeling it you can ignore it, or you can come back to this later. maybe you want to try some grounding exercises, here / here and here before you feel capable of focusing. that's ok, take all the time you need. now, as someone who also struggles with this, i just wanted to say that i understand the intensity of the moment and how sometimes it really feels like the urge to give up is far stronger than any notion of hope the future has to offer. it is totally understandable how we get to this point when so much of life just seems to be suffering. having said that, i think it's a good sign that you reached out to me and an even better sign that you're able to recognize that these ARE just thoughts. and while they can be very powerful hurtful things, they do not exist in the tangible reality. not every idea that passes through your mind has to be believed or acted upon - all of this turmoil and self loathing, it is not factual and it is not permanent either. you're not in a place right now where you can trust your thoughts and feelings, so please let them pass on through, even if that takes a long time. allow it to. we've already established that this state of mind has come and gone in the past, and it will do the same again, if you give it the chance to. i'm not trying to downplay how unbelievably hard to live with, of course, but it can be freeing to acknowledge that this is transient no matter how difficult it is to endure. that fear is your survival instinct and it's kicking in to keep you here. you deserve to be here and you deserve to thrive, no matter what your mind is telling you. it sounds like you're going through phases of intense suicidal ideation and there can be a whole host of underlying causes for this - mental illness, past trauma etc. obviously those are very serious issues that need real medical attention in order to begin to overcome but with that and with time, it is totally possible to learn to live a full live along side them. almost nuturing them, so they don't overwhelm you as much. sometimes it boils down to loving yourself through it like a parent loves a child.
are you currently in touch with a mental health professional of any sort? your doctor, a therapist, a support group, even a hotline? if not, i would really urge you to seek help as soon as possible. and if you already are, let them know where you're at with your thoughts lately so they can focus on treating you more intensely. if you're worried about money, there are cost-sensitive options like finding a therapist who offers a sliding scale price, or looking into mental health resources within your community. any effort, no matter how small, counts. i know the prospect of reaching out and being honest is a daunting one, and i'm only bringing it up as something to consider at the moment (or when you feel able to) so please don't write it off all together. but it really is not the nightmare your brain is probably building it up to be. just like with physical illness, mental illness can be confronted and worked with. it's all about learning how to manage your unique mind, and even if it takes a lifetime, it is so possible to lessen the frequency of crises like this, to become more prepared for them so they feel less earth-shattering when they do occur. talking about what you've been through, pinpointing root causes, learnng how to implement healthy coping mechanisms into your daily routine, building a support system, finding the medication for you if needed - all of this is going to make a difference. it is not going to fix everything, obviously, but it is going to lighten the weight. you deserve to be supported without judgement and with genuine care, you deserve to be heard. there are a lot of people, professionals or otherwise, even just randoms like me, who are willing to be that presence for you.
this isn't always the case but a LOT of the time, suicidal people don't want to die, they just want to stop living 'like this'. you don't have to hurt yourself in order to achieve that, i mean it. i know when you're in this state of mind, any even slightly positive statement just feels like rubbing salt into the wound. but even if you can't seriously take them on board, i hope when you're in a more grounded place you can at least consider them as valid alternatives to absolute hopelessness. you might as well, because you are alive and that is not always going to be a burden. you honestly have an inherent worth that has been with you since the day you were born. it isn't gone just because you can't see it right now. every day you fulfil your purpose by experiencing the world. you can't fathom how many lives you've touched, directly and indirectly, just by being who you are. it is so hard to believe it, i get that, but it is a fundamental truth. there is nothing you need to prove, or give. the future is ever changing and doesn't exist yet, and you've already survived the past, so the only thing that really matters is this moment. focus on what you need, not what you want, but what you need to do right now to truly prioritize yourself. even if that feels like the last thing on earth you want do. if self destruction and self harm was gonna work, it would've by now. it's ok to try something new and to attempt to guide yourself through this with a bit of self-compassion. please, if you feel like you are an immediate danger to yourself, please exercise that and call the authorities, a hotline or a friend/family member right away. no matter what lies your brain is feeding you, no matter how much you don't actually want to in the moment. everything is always changing and things are going to change beyond recognition, they always do. you deserve to stick around to see that, and once you've made the decision to do that, you won't have to be scared anymore, not the way you are right now. i'm going to leave some links that i think might be of some service to you right now, but like i said, please call someone if you feel you can't be alone right now. i believe in you so much and i really hope you are able do the right thing for your own safety. such strong emotions are not built to last. just get through today, or even the next five minutes, andthen go from there. sending so much love.
list of hotlines
coping with suicidal thoughts
coping with depression
template for creating a safety plan
so you feel like shit? (this site really helped me the other day)
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tainted-wine · 4 years ago
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Evil Demonic Music
Priest!Reader X Demon!Present Mic
Hizashi has a large and filling feast on every Halloween night. He’s been doing it since before you were born. Yet here you are crashing his party while smelling like fresh meat in a den of wolves. It’s entirely your fault for throwing off his groove.
Disclaimer: Reader is more reminiscent of an action priest in a gothic action movie or anime. There’s little to no accuracy here. Lightning will most likely strike me the next time I venture outside.
Words: 7.9k
Warnings: Noncon/Dubcon, Christian Themes, Possession/Mind Control, Orgy, Public Sex, Sorta Corruption, Downer Ending
����👻🎃HAPPY LATE HALLOWEEN, EVERYONE!🎃👻🎃
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Yuuei Club Presents “Dance With The Devil” Halloween Event LIVE Music by Present Mic Costumes Encouraged // Doors Open at 8 p.m.
It looked innocent enough; a graphical poster on the door of a building surrounded by smaller businesses in the outlet. It masked itself well in the daytime with its plain exterior, devoid of any attractive decorations save for the club’s name that glowed in hypnotizing neon when night falls. All of its temptations were contained inside, dormant until it was filled with careless souls seeking unholy pleasures.
You didn’t hate them for it. The temptation to sin is strong. It’s how evil thrives, and the average person lacks the strength to resist. It’s your duty to protect all people, even the faithless, from evil’s many devices. 
Like this nightclub.
Party locations like these were an uncommon feeding ground, although now that you think about it, the muddled and vulnerable minds residing within should make for easy meals. The loud and nonsensical “music” and absolute lack of restraint that the people displayed was baffling, but your task is to guard souls, not convert and guide them back to Heaven’s path. One demon in particular, however, favored ‘party animals’ more than any other creature from the vile depths.
“Easy there! You glare at this place any harder and it might combust!”
To the average human, the monster that appears beside you is nothing more than a tall blonde man with an inviting smile, but he can’t hide himself from the blessed and perceptive. Beneath the guise of spice and incense, he reeks of smoke and brimstone.
Hizashi, as he called himself, will never fool you.
“Stay back,” spit nearly flies from how harshly you say the words. You know that he can’t harm you, not while you wear your cross around your neck and calmly hold thoughts of your Lord in your mind. Still, you warn the dangerous fiend to keep his distance.
He obeys and innocently raises his hands. “Hey hey, you know I’m not out to hurt you, and you’re not gonna pull anything with that crafty little weapon there, right?”
No, you weren’t going to take a stab at him with the blade hidden in your holy necklace. You tried it before, an attempt to drive it into his back when he wasn’t looking. His hand caught your wrist at a speed you couldn’t comprehend – you were certain that you didn’t blink, yet you didn’t even see him move at all. His friendly smile didn’t waver, not a hint of anger visible on his face.
“Careful, baby priest! Don’t mean to sound cocky, but I’m way out of your league.” The warning wasn’t in his words, but in the heat of Hell itself that briefly washed over you, a sensation so powerful and real that you feared you were being dragged down that very instant. But the unseen flames died off the second he released your hand, eyes flashing a bloody red before returning to their usual emerald hues.
That was the first and only time you tried to banish him.
“I don’t trust you, but I’m not stupid,” was your answer, making sure not to let your hatred and disgust cloud your mind. He might take hold of that.
It was a satisfactory response, going by his bright beam of a smile. So friendly and inviting.
Months had passed when you finally accepted that he was a demon who genuinely enjoyed living alongside humans. He never spoke ill of your fellow men and commended them for their many ways of enjoying their short lives. Most demons you’ve dealt with favor negative emotions. Fear, sorrow, anger… those cold and bitter feelings attracted hellbeasts like flies to honey. 
But this one? He fed on mortals that were as cheerful and carefree as him. All of this still wasn’t enough to convince you that he is truly gentle, however.
Hizashi stayed where he was, staring at his own promotional poster. The urge to leave was almost overwhelming, but you couldn’t let him know how much he unnerved you with just his presence alone. Instead, you shuffle awkwardly and try not to utter prayers of protection. Whether or not that will anger him is something you don’t want to find out.
He rocks back and forth on his heels. “Are you pumped for the best night of the year? Man, Halloween never gets old for me, especially in this day and age. Everyone dancing while dressed like a bunch of monsters...it’s almost like I’m at home! Humans sure know how to party like tomorrow is The Cleansing.”
“Yes, and it’s shameful,” you humor him. “I have no interest in debauchery.”
He chuckled and shook his head. “It’s called having a good time, babe. Put the tome down and loosen up every once in a while.”
Put down the tome?
Loosen up?
Babe?
How dare he make you even entertain the thought of abandoning your teachings. You just know he’s trying to rile you up, to make you lose control. You won’t let him have his way. “I have my good times in moderation, on days when I praise God with my brothers and sisters with a glass of wine. There is discipline in everything, even celebration. Heathens simply get drunk and lose themselves in the madness.”
The demon chuckled as he ran his fingers through long golden locks. Just the beautiful sheen of his hair could probably attract the greedy. “Yep. Times sure do change, don’t they?”
“They don’t just change, they’re desecrated. What was once a day to ward off evil spirits now does the exact opposite. They’re too busy with their consumerism, candy, haunted houses…”
“Oh yeah, those haunted attractions are wild. So many of my buddies gorge themselves there. Free fear for the taking, ya dig?”
Despicable.
“And you don’t?” You test him. He was a conversationalist; a few probing questions won’t bother him, surely.
He withdraws his phone, scrolling through the screen for something. “Come on, you know me by now, don’t you? That sour stuff isn’t for me.”
“Forgive me for still struggling to trust you.” Sarcasm felt too risky, actually. You won’t use it again.
“Heh, no offense taken! You priests know just how cruel we can be sometimes. Mortals learned from the best, after all.”
Your lips twitch. His curve into a more wicked grin.
Every single passerby can’t seem to resist giving you odd looks. You can feel the eyes behind you as people make their way around the shops. Your garb wasn’t that strange; they’re acting like they’ve never seen a person in a robe and wearing several divine artifacts before. They would too if they knew what Hizashi was, who has yet to garner a single look of suspicion.
Ridiculous, his casual getup is actually fooling them. Perhaps the silly villainous mustache wasn’t big enough to give him away.
“Ah, here it is!” You nearly jumped from his voice and how quickly he leaned in, a video playing on his phone. “Just tap on the screen to play it an-”
“I know how to use a phone,” You hiss, taking the device from his hand and shooting him a glance every few seconds in case he tried something. 
The video was chaos, an unsteady view of flashing lights and thumping heavy beats. Whoever held it was smack dab in the middle of an energetic crowd that sang and danced like barbaric animals. It was an orgy of overindulgence. Too much drinking with their comically shaped cups and bottles, too much lust in their crude excuse of a dance, and synthetic drums that dragged on for so damn long, even the beat sounded drunk. It’s not the first time you heard the horrid noise; it unfortunately appears to be popular among the masses. 
God help these poor souls.
“Last year’s party.” Hizashi’s words cut through your thoughts. “Pretty hype, huh? Nothing gets my listeners goin’ like a hard trap beat!”
Oh? So he’s fully admitting it now? “So you’re calling it what it is, are you? Trapping them with your satanic melodies?”
The confusion on his face was very convincing, but you knew better. “What? No, that’s what the music is called.” 
You couldn’t help but snort. “Please, demon. What do you think sounds more believable: A genre of music with such a simplistic and misleading name, or evil tunes that your kind uses to ensnare unassuming mortals that don’t know any better?”
“....um…”
“I thought so.” To think that he’d slip up so easily. He wasn’t as clever as he thought. “Tell me what happened to the people in this video. Are they alive? Or did you drain them until they were nothing more than lifeless husks?”
There was a snicker behind you. Both you and Hizashi turned around to see a young man holding his phone up with an amused smile, giving a little wave after being noticed. “Sorry,” he didn’t sound sorry at all. “I really like your costume, miss. Your acting is awesome, too.” With that, he put away his phone and whatever images he now has of you and continued on his merry way.
Impertinent juveniles.
“Anyway, they’re all fine,” Hizashi said, eyes returning to the door while tapping his feet to a beat you can’t hear. “I know how to feed without causing any serious harm. Even if I do go a little overboard, they’ll just brush it off as having too much to drink.”
“It doesn’t matter how good you are at controlling yourself. You’re an evil entity invading human minds.” It takes every bit of strength to not flinch when he looks at you. Again, there’s no anger – there’s never anger with him – and it makes you all the more uneasy. Maybe a being as ancient and influential as him doesn’t find a novice exorcisor like you worth getting angry or even annoyed over. “Your stench will remain on those people forever, attracting more of your kind to them unless someone like me finds and cleanses them.”
He shrugs and rubs at the back of his neck. “Come on, your boy is doing his best here. What do you want me to do? Starve?” He considers what he just said for a moment before laughing. “Nevermind, don’t answer that. Look, I ain’t leaving the stage, little priest. I’m addicted. The noise, the energy, the way everyone just loses themselves in all of it.”
The way his tongue peeks out to swipe over his upper lip has every hair on your skin sticking up.
“Man, I wish they knew just how sweet their own essence is when they’re caught up in the lights and music. Sweeter than any candy the kids will be bringing home tonight.”
He compares consuming pieces of a soul to children’s treats. “You’re really not helping your case,” you remark.
Another shrug. “C’mon, you say that like I actually have a chance at winning with you! I won’t hurt anyone in there. You have my word.”
You scoffed. “A demon’s word is-”
“Worthless, I know. See what I mean?” He withdrew a ring of keys out of his pocket. “Welp, I think we’ve stood here and stared at the door long enough. I gotta prep for the big night. Thanks for the company!” A few more seconds pass when he finds the right key and opens the entrance to the club. 
You didn’t follow him inside. That would be careless.
Now it’s only you observing the building that will soon hold a giant living feast for the hungry monster. After another passing compliment about your “cool and authentic costume”, you figured you’ve stood around long enough. It was time to head home.
And find a way to keep everyone safe.
He was right; you have no way of getting rid of him yourself. That doesn’t mean you’ll stand by while knowing what danger these people will be walking into when night arrives. You’re not afraid to put your life on the line if it means protecting His children from the many evils on earth. When the first step of your plan takes root in your head, you change routes and make your way to the nearest costume shop.
Hizashi won’t be having his fill tonight.
---------------------------------------------------------------
8:30 p.m.
You weren’t expecting to encounter two demons tonight.
Well, perhaps that term isn’t appropriate. There is no sort of aura attached to the dark-haired man that you can trace back to the pits of Hell, but he is undoubtedly a creature of evil. One that was birthed from the shadows, living for eternity by lurking in darkness and drinking the blood of any unfortunate mortal that catches his eye.
“I knew it. I knew someone so close to Hizashi couldn’t be human.”
The vampire at the lively club’s entrance didn’t seem fazed by your accusation. He wasn’t even hiding himself. The sly bloodsucker knows that his crimson irises and enlarged fangs will be mistaken for prosthetics. Very convincing prosthetics.
“Nice to see you too,” he deadpans. 
You’re getting a little tired of these beasts brushing you off. “So what’s your feeding plan here? Waiting to find an innocent maiden who wishes to see the sinful wonders inside, then take her to the back and drain her dry?”
“Like you?” The smirk doesn’t reveal any teeth, but his predatory eyes are enough to make you step back and grip the cross that still hangs around your neck. Your reaction makes him chuckle darkly before he returns to his regular disinterested self. “I already ate.” That monster. “I’m here because Hizashi thought I’d make for good security.”
“So you intend to drink from anyone that steps out of line?”
“No.”
“Lies. Look here, vampire…”
“My name is Shouta.”
“...You and your friend won’t be preying on these naive humans for much longer. He told me about his trap music, but I won’t let his songs bewitch anyone tonight.”
He stared at you, one eyebrow quirked high up. “Alright...can you give me your hand already? There’s a line growing behind you.”
You look over your shoulder, and there is indeed a line of disgruntled people dressed as various monsters and characters. You have to admit that their costumes look to be of higher quality than the angel outfit you hastily bought in the store’s clearance section. The fuzzy headband for your halo was itchy and your flimsy wings were on the verge of falling off with every sudden movement.
With a glare that messaged him not to try anything, you cautiously extended your arm. He took your hand in his – deathly cold – and wrapped a thin paper tag around your wrist. “Have fun.” 
You always hate it when you can’t read their smiles.
The suffocating darkness around him was lifted when you made your way to the same doors you were looking at with so much contempt this morning. Glancing back, you saw others happily complimenting his ‘spooky’ appearance, to which he responded with either a quick thanks or a grunt. None of them seemed to notice his chilling aura or ice-cold touch.
Why must they be so blind to the evils that walk beside them everyday?
When you stepped in, the music nearly blasted you back outside. So loud, but not like the angelic choirs during gospel. You didn’t feel lifted, you just felt bombarded by pure noise. A repetitive tempo made the entire building pulse like a heartbeat. This didn’t sound like the music Hizashi supposedly used to put the crowd under a spell. It just repeated the same forsaken beat over and over again. Perhaps the repetition is meant to ease the victim’s mind and lure them in a false sense of security, then those long rolling beats will come in next, ensnaring them when their guard is down. Clever, but not clever enough.
You passed the lounge and bar area, paying no mind to the lecherous behavior around you. Boisterous laughs, alcohol being carelessly chugged…
“Hey there, angel.” A man dressed as a superhero nearly tripped over his own cape in his attempt to approach you. “You as innocent as you look? I can introduce you to the boUUUURP.” The sudden belch burned your poor eyes with the stinging smell of rum.
Lord have mercy on both you and these savages.
“No thank you,” you said through gritted teeth and brushed past him. The lights and colors are disorienting. Strobe lights, spotlights whizzing across the walls and floor, and vibrant ever-changing shapes on every surface. The intoxicated folk probably welcomed the flashing chaos. When you drink at the church, your sips stay modest and controlled, ensuring to never reach the stage of drunkenness. If you were feeling ‘buzzed’, as they would say, this musical and optical discourse would likely feel pleasant, like entering a world devoid of rules and consequences.
Also known as a world of sin.
A huge mass of bouncing bodies covered the dancefloor, and there on an elevated platform, acting as an advanced musical throne, was the evil orchestrator of the chaos.
And those long curved obsidian horns were most definitely real.
Even as he tampered with the many buttons and dials before him, Hizashi moved as wildly as his prey, too caught up in his own infernal electronic hymns to even notice your presence. Surely your chaste energy sticks out among these wrongdoers like a dove in a pit of serpents.
You need to activate your blessing before he eats. Good thing the vampire didn’t bother to inspect your costume for any natural evil repellents that you happened to be carrying.
Your self-made pockets were filled with sage and rosemary, common herbs used to drive away demons and spirits. You sprinkle them onto the floor as you continue to make your way to the center, where your power will work most efficiently.  Hopefully their scent will not be overpowered by the sweaty bodies and breaths laced with alcohol of all kinds.
Pushing through the dancing crowd was an arduous task. The music had since switched to something faster and more aggressive. The hectic sounds in this one was making you miss the boring but calmer tunes from before. You never considered what the sound of a robot vomiting would sound like, but it would probably sound similar to the cacophony of ‘whirs’ and ‘wubs’ that were assaulting your ears.
The mass was pushing and tossing you every which way. The variety of masks and makeup beneath the constant moving lights was rather frightening. Of course, you’ve dealt with plenty of real monsters, but it disturbed you to see your fellow man acting in such a frenzied matter in such a perplexing setting. You can see why Hizashi adored this environment. You couldn’t tell the difference between man and beast.
Straightening your halo, you decide that this spot will fare well enough.
Now it was time to apply holy water around your feet. Just a few drops of the blessed fluid will be enough to protect everyone here.
You close your eyes, ignore the many bodies bumping against you, and pray.
O Lord, protect me from temptation.
The water trickles out before you.
O Lord, forgive those who have been led astray.
“WOOOO SHIT! THIS IS MY JAM!”
The nearby exclamation makes your eyebrow twitch.
For we know that your power is greater than any evil.
The song is deafening, but you keep going.
Grant, O Lord, the protection fro-
Someone violently collides into you, knocking the bottle right out of your hands and rolling away to disappear behind the wall of stomping shoes.
Shit! Forgive my language, Father!
You elbow the fools blocking your way, ignoring the occasional “hey” or “watch it” during your desperate search for the most important tool against evil influences.
You didn’t even finish your prayer. You need to at least do that first, before it’s too late. Clapping your hands together, you shut your eyes again and moved your lips rapidly.
OLordprotectmefromtemptationOLordforgivetosewhohavebeenledastrayforweknowthatyourpowerisgreaterthanany-
“HERE COMES THE DROP!”
The rhythm and bass changed drastically, and with it came a powerful wave of raw exhilaration.
It’s like a force was injecting every positive chemical directly into your bloodstream. The abundance of newfound energy needed to be released, just like the tension that was released from that beat drop.
Your hips are swaying in a way you’ve never moved them before, and you can’t make them stop.
Stop! Stop, please! This is his doing!
“How are my listeners doin’ tonight?!”
The demon’s voice booms through the speakers, seeping into your ears and filling you with so much excitement that you can’t help but cheer with everyone else. Your senses feel simultaneously enhanced and dulled. The humans around you were out of focus, but the diabolical DJ up ahead was so clear, it’s like you were right in front of him. The hunger in his currently red eyes struck fear in you even as you danced.
“Woo, I’m lovin’ this energy! Thanks for coming by this Halloween, ya little monsters! Now...bring this house down!”
Your heart accelerates from the rush and you begin to jump in sync with the possessed crowd. Even the people standing by or sitting at the bars couldn’t resist, joining the growing horde on the dancefloor to jump in unison. 
It was unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Not a care in the world. No customs, no praise. It didn’t give you that warm feeling of ascension. Instead you just felt...liberated.
No!
Struggling in the demon’s grip, you cleared your thoughts just enough to try to calm yourself and regain control.
Utter a prayer. Hurry. Focus. You need His protection.
‘Baby priest? Is that you?’
That is not the mighty entity you wanted to hear. The voice echoes in your head, impossible to escape. When your eyes open, you see that above the vast sea of faces, Hizashi is staring right at you. 
‘I thought the dancefloor smelled a little weird! I was so busy feelin’ the beat that I almost missed you!’  You watched him laugh as he continued to violate your mind. Damn him. Wasn’t possessing you cruel enough? ‘Please, no prayers when I’m about to dig in. That’s gonna leave a bad taste in my mouth. Just keep groovin’ like everyone else!”
Your limbs obeyed without your consent and followed the rhythm. This didn’t even sound like the music you heard in the video. Were you just foolish in thinking that he only used one specific sound to trap his victims?
With another change in the bassline, a heavier weight invaded, reaching right into the depths of your heart and tugging at your very soul. You know that fear will only make you more defenseless, but there was no fighting the terror that overtook you.
Not when a demon was feeding from you.
Your brain clashed with itself. You had to keep fighting, even as he stole a fragment of what your gracious Heavenly Father had gifted you and every human, but the cheerful voices implanted in your mind begged you to stop worrying and just give in already.
There was no stopping your movements or the unending rush that surged as strongly as the music. Only now, as he completely ignored your holy safety measures and tainted your soul as easily as the oblivious heathens surrounding you, did you fully understand just how great the differences in power between him and you were.
‘Whoa...holy shit.’
The breathless moan in your head made you shudder. 
‘I haven’t tasted a human as pure as you in ages.’ 
“Please! You’ve already fed from me!” You scream out loud as the mob revels in the thrilling sensation of having a part of them sucked away. Your voice is drowned out by the music and shouts, yet you know that the horrid fiend can hear you loud and clear. “Just get out of my head!”
The dancing stops.
The music stops.
Everything stops.
It’s relieving to finally let your body rest from the forced celebration. The lights still flash and move in the dead silence. Every single person in all of their costumed glory turns and pins you with a sharp glare. Their eyes were unfocused and glazed over, consciousness elsewhere. Hizashi was in full control of all of them.
The demon himself looked down at you, no longer wearing his usual friendly and carefree smile. He was now showing the more twisted happiness you were used to seeing on his kind.
Crazed and eager to devour.
He spoke into the microphone on his headset, voice low and eerily calm. “Angel, you can’t just give me a sample of a five-star meal and expect me to not want more.”
The dread threatens to make you faint.
“Hey, none of that!” He laughs and switches back to his cheery tone. “I told you the negative emotions aren’t for me. I mean, a lady as sweet as you is gonna taste delicious either way. Why don’t you come on up here?”
You didn’t want to. You wanted to flee from this entire situation that you foolishly believed you were ready for. You thought you could sneak into this age-old creature’s gathering and force him to go hungry for the night.
Cockiness treads horribly close to pride, and pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
You clearly didn’t have a say in the matter, what with your feet moving forward on their own. Every individual in front of you stepped aside to create a clear path from you to Hizashi’s platform. Their eyes never left, heads slowly turning as they watched you slowly climb the steps with legs that trembled from your resistance.
As he stood tall clad in leather behind the large mixer table, you noticed along with his sturdy horns, he also sported a black pointed tail that lazily swayed behind him. And his stench...the foul smell that would often make you crinkle your nose was replaced with a pleasing fragrance, like a sweet and fruity beverage. It was undoubtedly the work of his spell; everything about him has suddenly become tempting.
At this point you were wishing for the music to return so that you couldn’t hear your thunderous heartbeat as you stopped right in front of him. His hellish eyes observed you from head to toe, holding his chin between his fingers before shaking his head and smirking.
“Ya really couldn’t find a better costume?” He snickered as he got closer and fiddled with your cheaply-made gown. You avoided looking directly into his eyes, afraid of falling into the blood-red depths and never finding your way back out.  “Or do you priests work on a budget?” He pauses when he notices the contents in your pockets. “Oh?” A hand is shoved inside and pulls out a handful of herbs.
“Aww gross! Sneakin’ herbs into the joint?” He winces from the smell before tossing them aside, leaving them to scatter into the unmoving group below.
How? His reaction should have been much stronger…
“Not that this stuff really works when I’m vibin’ in my element, but I’m hurt! I thought we had some trust!” He pinches your cheek, knowing that you’re unable to pull away. “And I thought you knew that I was way out of your league. You’re gonna need the big guns if you plan on keeping me away from my food.” The breath blowing into your face is abnormally hot.
There’s a layer of something otherworldly hidden in his tone whenever he emphasizes his words, like a filter poorly attempting to cover up a monster’s true guttural voice. 
But once again, he switches back to normal, which does nothing to calm you. “But I’m not gonna get mad at some rookie that doesn’t know better, especially one as tasty as you!” Twirling around, he pushes a few buttons on the table that you didn’t even know where to begin to figure out. 
“Sorry about the interruption, listeners!” He says to the crowd, cruelly acting like they have any ability to respond. They continue to stare blankly. “I hope you don’t mind if I switch things up a bit. Your boy is gonna be a little preoccupied during the next few tracks.”
The deafening silence is lifted with the start of a new song, and the people suddenly spring back to life, completely unaware of the mindless state they were in. Their only goal was to keep partying.
Your body was moving again as well, this time bobbing gently to the double and triple beats and low frequencies that vibrate through the floor and up your spine.
This...this was the type of melody you feared, and yet it didn’t affect you any more than the other songs. All of them were traps.
The only way you can think of fighting back is by filling your head with songs of praise. Keep your Lord in your thoughts. He will protect you.
“Tsk...angel, that stuff doesn’t work when I, ya know, already ate a piece of you.” His face tightened from hearing just a few seconds of the holy song in your head. “I told you, ya gotta loosen up a bit. You’re already dancing better than I thought you would!”
He paid no attention to his other prey, instead admiring your simple but energetic movements.
Then he began to move as well, shoulders doing a slow shimmy and following each of your steps with his own, moving closer and closer until he was able to wrap an arm around your waist and pull you in.
He’s warm. Not burning or emitting an aura of terrifying darkness. The music suddenly feels softer, easing your fears. Like an intimate embrace. 
“There, it’s not so bad, is it?” He says lowly, lips almost touching your face. “Quit thinking about your big daddy for once.”
You want to protest against the disrespectful nickname for your God, but he predicts your reaction and tightens his hold on your spirit.
“You taste so damn incredible right now, don’t mess it up,” he groans and savors you. With every part of you that is consumed, it becomes harder to resist. It would be so easy to just hold onto him and keep swaying like this, rocking back and forth as his hips press against yours, grinding into you.
The unfamiliar sensation startles you, but Hizashi shuts down your panic with a growl. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’ve forgotten.” he murmurs into your shoulder, breathing deeply to take in your scent. “I’ve been so hooked on the party life that I forgot just how heavenly innocents like you taste. To think that I’d have an actual priest dancing with me, tasting that revelry from such a pure source...pardon my blasphemy, but goddamn.”
You’re swimming through the fiery haze clouding your mind, clawing against it in a desperate search for an opening. But with every beat, the haze thickens and you sink further in.
You couldn’t find the light. No salvation.
More sinful feelings assault you from the friction of his groin against yours, a growing bulge rubbing on your most sacred area. It sends a foreign tingle down there.
“Ooooh, don’t think I can’t feel that, baby” he rasps, holding you so closely in a dance fitting for two lovers. “I can sense everything now that you’ve let me in.”
That angers you enough to find your voice again, just barely. “I didn’t let you in...” You tense from another hard grind. “Foul...beast.”
“Are you sure? You’re giving in pretty easily. It’s nothin’ to feel bad about, I promise. Humans aren’t built to resist life’s basic needs, so I don’t know why the big man in the clouds gets so wound up about it all the time.” 
How dare he.
“Damned snake!” You force your hands to beat against him and push him off. “You will not corrupt me with the Devil’s words!”
He’s actually shocked for a moment, even to your own surprise, but he laughs it off. “Geez, my bad! I guess you are pretty persistent. Must be…” He grabs the cross around your neck, ignoring your horrified gasp. “...this.”
With a sharp yank and a pinch at the back of your neck, your one remaining object of holy protection is removed.
And with its loss, his influence completely overpowers you. The clearness of your senses switches on and off.
The music is muffled. It’s too loud.
The roaming lights are blurry. Too bright.
Are you still moving? Or is your body too heavy?
“It stings a bit, but that little thing can’t do much when the wearer’s already under my control.” An unfocused image of the demon tossing your precious necklace over his shoulder, the necklace you’ve held close to you since the day you first stepped into the cathedral and accepted your role as a righteous defender of man.
Your essence is now being stolen so quickly that it makes you shiver. He shouldn’t be taking this much.
“Mmm, I can’t get enough of this,” Teeth that are too sharp brush against your neck, threatening to pierce your skin. “I’m an old guy, ya know. I’ve done a lot of experimenting over the centuries, to see what I’m into.”
There’s a rip, and your gown is being pulled down along with your wings. It only relieves you from the growing heat of your surroundings.
“Y’see, our daddy isn’t a helicopter parent. He brings us into the world and just...lets us decide what to do. So no, my words ain’t the Devil’s words. They’re just mine, honey. I live for myself.”
Tilting your head, he presses his lips against your throat, making your breath hitch. No, your body is sacred. Don’t let him do this to you.
You don’t even know when the music had changed, but you’ve noticed the club was filled with a synthetic ambiance, the colors switching to magenta and cyan. 
The party demon is so captivated by you that he doesn’t even acknowledge the change in tune. “I used to stalk the depressed. Wasn’t worth it, they were too bland.” He peppers kisses down to your collarbone. “I tormented scared paranoid folk. Fun, but it loses its flavor fast.”
Your bra is removed to expose your breasts to him and the entire populace within the building. Your heart races, but the synths don’t stop seeping into your ears, the bliss wrestling with your fear. 
“Shh, don’t freak out. I’ll make sure everyone forgets everything that happened tonight.” He attempts to reassure you while massaging your newly revealed mounds. “So time went on as I treated my palate to different tastes. Wasn’t long before I realized my favorite vibes were the good ones. Festivals, games, a few buddies hangin’ out,” he lowered himself and flicked your nipple with his tongue. “Or a couple fucking, I ate all of it up. And after a while I decided that I just liked people in general.”
The pleasure felt when your breast is engulfed by the heat of his mouth is shameful. Hizashi moaned at your taste, though you weren’t sure if it was the taste of your flesh or your lust that was exciting him.
“I liked it when humans were having good times, so I figured out how to join in on the fun and damn, how do you guys keep finding new ways to rock out? The prudes keep droning on about how my favorite type of people have lost their way, but I think they’re the ones who found paradise, and they’re not even dead yet!” After nursing on both of your breasts, he rises and grabs your face to turn it toward the crowd. “I mean, just look at how these guys – oh.”
‘Oh’ indeed.
The people were no longer dancing. They were grabbing at each other, at men and women they probably didn’t even know, tearing apart clothes in a vicious urge to fornicate right there on the dancefloor. Some of them were already completely nude. You avert your eyes to stare at your feet instead.
Hizashi cleared his throat. “Whoops. Look what ya made me do, angel. My lust got the best of me!” He held you close while watching the horrid act before him. You’re trying to move your heavy arms to cover your bare body. “No wonder I’m feeling so horny. Think I should make them stop?”
It takes effort to nod your head.
His lip sticks out in an exaggerated pout before going, “Nah. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen an orgy. I bet this is a first for you.”
Something tickles your hips, your eyes wandering over to see the arrow-like point of his tail curling around your white panties, tugging them down.
Part of you already knows that Hizashi is allowing you to struggle for his own amusement. With all of your protection gone, he can easily stop you from swatting at the flexible limb as it brings your final article of clothing down to your ankles.
Wearing nothing but the small strap around your wrist, you want so badly to curl up and hide yourself. You were completely bare on a stage with a demon quietly taking in your form. The contrasting feelings of anxiety and calm threaten to tear your psyche in half.
“Given how anal you guys are about chastity, I think it’s safe to say no one’s ever touched you before?” The way you tense tells him enough. “Alright alright, relax. I’m gonna make this easy for you.”
‘How? By letting me leave?’ You want to say, but your vocal chords aren’t cooperating.
He grinned from ear to ear. “Well, no. I told ya I know everything goin’ on in that head.” He grabs you by the shoulders and places you right in front of his mixer.
There were many suggestive sounds amongst the pile of writhing bodies before you. It was the most depraved sight that you’ve ever witnessed. These people may have been sinners for their immoral pursuits, but they were still victims of a wicked creature’s influence. You wish you could apologize to all of them for failing to protect them.
Slender fingers massaged your shoulders. “Ain’t it beautiful?” He whispers hotly into your ear. “I’m not that crazy about lust, but I can’t resist when it’s coming from someone like you.”
His aura has you shackled on the spot, unable to move or even tear your eyes away from all of the sex. His voice meshes with the increasingly sensual tunes, both him and the music putting you in a deep trance that leaves every nerve in your body extra sensitive.
You’re gently pushed to lean forward until your hands are supporting yourself on the table. The leather of his clothes pressed against your back is irritating, but easily overshadowed by the hands trailing down your skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
“One of my favorite hobbies was hunting down faithful maidens like you. All demons love doing it, really. You can’t top raw innocence, it’s always a delicacy. It’s the closest most of us will ever get to fucking an actual angel. I managed to fuck an angel, and lemme tell ya, it’s a once in an eternity experience.”
He reaches your mound. There is still fear and an urge to pray, though it’s drowned out by the electronic harmony and all of the hot sex.
“Now she’s a fallen one that hangs out with me. Pretty little devil’s obsessed with sex now. If you’re lucky, maybe she’ll give you a visit in your sleep at midnight.”
His fingers reach your untouched folds, making you gasp. You’ve never felt so much lubrication down there before. Was that normal?
“I was really good at the whole corruption thing, so good that I caught the attention of the big holy boys. They were toughies, gotta hand it to 'em. I decided to lay low after that little showdown. That was all a preeetty long time ago.”
The demon’s voice is background noise as you watch deplorable acts that you didn’t even know existed. One woman was taking a cock into her mouth while another man pounded into her from behind. A new male approached and grabbed her free hand, wrapping her fingers around him and encouraging her to stroke him.
Three men pleasuring themselves with the same woman. They were probably complete strangers.
The repulsive sight makes you wetter.
They sure were having fun.
Hizashi hums at your arousal, sinking a digit into your folds. 
“Ah,” you choke on your own voice. His other hand plays with your breast again while you’re being penetrated for the first time. Some sort of flame was growing within you, burning and pleasing at the same time.
“I thought I’ve found my place. Going place to place and bringing in crowds who just want to forget their troubles for a day and groove.”
The finger pushes through your tightly clenched walls, or at least they try to.
“Fuck, relax a bit, babe,” he groans.
You do exactly that, giving him enough leeway to push in and out at a steady pace. You don’t think about the violation, only the strange friction that has no right to feel as good as it does. 
“And then you come along,” An unexpected sharp thrust causes his finger to brush against a spot that fills your vision with even more blinding lights. “It’s not like I was after you or anything. You’re a solid negative ten on the threat scale, but ya just wouldn’t leave me alone!” He relentlessly hits the spot again, and again, until you’re crying out and your legs are shaking. “Then you waltz in here and try to ruin my favorite night of the year?
He’s able to hide his anger as he speaks, but fails to keep it from entering his possessed victims. The orgy becomes more violent, all of the people looking no more civil than savages in torn rags as they try to dominate and fuck each other senseless.
It affects you as well, going by how annoyed you’re getting by his rambling. Can’t he just focus on pleasing you?
His finger leaves you too soon, your cunt already missing the brand new sensations. “Sorry, babe,” he says when he releases you and begins to undo his pants. “Normally I’d spend more time warming up, but I gotta join in on the raunchiness now before I go nuts. Just...do me a favor.”
You whined, wiggling your hips and rubbing your ass against his freed cock. He only chuckles at your impatience.
“Slow your roll, I’ll get started as soon as you push that button riiiight there.”
You push one of the many glowing buttons, and stock phrases are shouted out of the speakers.
“No, the one next to it.”
You press it, and another song begins.
Hizashi hums in approval. “I usually do a smooth transition between songs, but…”
A hard impact knocks you forward with the overwhelming feeling of being completely filled all at once. The stretch and pressure has your mouth hanging open in a silent scream.
“....Yeah, I just wanted to do that. And-” He yanks the halo off your head and drops it at your feet. “-I always loved the symbolism in that.”
He wastes no time building up. You’re being pounded as hard and consistently as the energetic beat. It should hurt, but the euphoric state of your mind dulls any pain and discomfort. 
With the demon inside both your head and your womanhood, there was no saving yourself. Your prayers wouldn’t even be heard through this thick depraved fog.
“Oh fuck yeah,” He growls loudly with his wild thrusts, hands gripping your hips tightly enough to bruise. “I’ve been missing out. So hooked on the party life that I don’t even remember how it feels to eat up a modest little soul like this.”
Was he still devouring you? You can’t even tell, not while you’re trapped in this melodic dreamworld as his cock rams you.
“Ya mind if we do this again sometime?” He angled himself to ensure he was hitting that sweet spot with each rhythmic pump. Despite his aggression, his hips moved with musical purpose. “Not like you’re much of a priest anymore. You’re fuckin’ a demon, sweetheart. I think the pearly gates have closed for you.”
That sounds sad and all, but God does he feel good. The entire moment was feeling like a hallucination. Your world was saturated with fuzzy images and muffled bass as your virgin pussy was ravaged. The tightened heat in your core was growing hotter by the second.
Hizashi just wouldn’t stop talking even as he became short of breath. “Ah, don’t worry, my doors are always open to misfits!” His rhythm falters a bit when you give him an especially tight squeeze. “Ya like that? I can always wipe your memory of tonight along with everyone else’s, and you can head back home. I just don’t think your next visit to the house of God is gonna end well.”
How does he expect you to care with the way he’s plowing into you?
His arms wrap around you in an embrace. “No pressure, angel. You can decide later. For now, just enjoy the show.”
And finally, he shut up and focused on fucking your divine lights out.
With his pelvis flush against your ass, Hizashi humps with newfound vigor, his thrusts rapid yet precise enough to keep stimulating your most sensitive areas.
The blinding stars in your eyes make it impossible to even make out what’s happening in front of you. A shame, because you want to know if you’re being dicked down as good and hard as the whores on the dancefloor.
The demon may not be talking anymore, but he was still being very vocal about his pleasure with feral moans and growls right into your ear. 
An extra hard slam forces you to nearly topple onto the controls, hands scrambling to keep you upright and hitting several buttons in the process. 
A series of sounds and distortion effects are added to the song.
It unexpectedly riles him up. “Shit, that wasn’t a bad mix, angel. I might have a junior DJ in the making,” he praises.
The tempo changes - different speed and new layers - and Hizashi follows suit by switching his quick bucks into deep thrusts.
The fire inside was close to doing...something. You weren’t sure what it was or what exactly will happen if this lasts any longer, but part of you knows that it’s about to feel very good.
With the head of his dick striking you nice and deep, you quickly learn that you were right.
The explosion of spasms was too pleasurable to even comprehend, each contraction tearing filthy screams from your throat. Hizashi bursts soon afterwards and fills you up with a cry even more lewd than yours.
Just like that, your mind is freed and the weight of his aura is lifted...and you feel gravely tired.
A coldness sweeps over you and saps every ounce of your strength. You find yourself dropping to your knees and falling over as a distant voice expresses genuine worry.
“Oh.......I overfed.” Though it doesn’t sound as panicked as it should.
You don’t want to close your eyes. You fear that something terrible might happen if you do, but your eyelids are quickly becoming too heavy to fight.
“Really sorry, little priest! I didn’t mean to! Look at the bright side - my friends are gonna love ya down there! Home isn’t half as bad as those books make it out to be!”
Each word sounds fainter than the last, but you still catch each one.
Home?
Your eyes shut. 
And the remains of your soul become stained with ash and black before heading downwards into the demonic realm.
Welcome home.
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thevoilinauttheory · 3 years ago
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Fire
[ FFxivWrite2021 Prompt 2: Aberrant ]
The Five Part “In the Dreams of Ashley” series is done! Go read the others here! {Prelude} {In the Dreams of Ashley: The Wind} {In the Dreams of Ashley: The Fire} {In the Dreams of Ashley: The Water} {In the Dreams of Ashley: The Earth}
[ HEAVY CONTENT WARNINGS - THIS PIECE IS TO EXPLORE ONE OF MY DEEPEST FEARS CONTAINING: mentions of death/blood, regrets surrounding said death, nightmares, detailed suffocation, detailed description of burning to death, suicidal ideation ]
[ also decided to do a music theme this month and all of these will have musical accompaniment lol ]
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To dream that you or someone is being burned alive suggests that you are being consumed by your own ambition. To dream that you are being burned by fire indicates that your temper is getting out of control. Some issue or situation is burning up inside you. If you are setting a fire to something or even to yourself, then it indicates that you are undergoing some great distress. You are at the brink of desperation and want to destroy something or some aspect of yourself.
==
“So how did you even get here?” Ashley shoved a dumpling into his mouth, having yanked it from the pot as soon as he realized it was ready. Ruta had set up a fire, a large heavy pot on top of it, filled to the brim with broth and vegetables. He didn’t question where she got it, or even how she carried it - though common sense dictated that she borrowed the pot from the fishermen in Isari, as well as bought the food; they *were* set up right outside it, of course.
“Hm?” Ruta had her mouthful already, slurping up what noodles were left in her mouth. It took her a good minute to finish chewing so she could talk; and in that time, Ashley had already taken to swishing thin slices of fish around until they were cooked enough to eat.
“Y’know, get here. Back in the cells, you said you were from Kugane… but, uh… no offense, but.” “Because I’m Xaelic?” “...Yeah, sorry. That’s rude of me to point out.” Ruta only laughed. “Yeah… I left that part of me in the Steppes. I was capable, but… I thought, as a kid, if they’re gonna leave me tied up to a tree, I might as well go my own way. What’s to say that it’s not going to happen again?” “Tied to a tree? Oof, that’s rough.” “Made it all the way to Kugane and ran into some nice folks who thought ‘who in the hells let this child run around on her own!’.” She laughed. “They adopted me. Real nice people.” “They still with you?” ”Hope so, it’s been a few years.”
He stared at the flames, leaning back on his hands after he filled himself up on food - thinking about her words, how everyone he knew would have moved on with their lives without him. “Where’re Colette ‘n’Hunter? They’ve been gone a while.” “I think they went ahead to scout for a boat. We gotta leave in the dead of night, if we want a chance at getting past those pirates. You know how to swim?” “Uuhh… I’m gonna say “I’ll figure it out”.” He laughed. “Grew up in a desert, don’t really have time to learn to swim.” “You might have to! If we have to jump off the boat and swim our way there. I’m sure Hunter wouldn’t mind dragging you with him - guy loves to swim.” “Does he?” “I mean… he’s told me as much, at least.” “Hm.” That grin on her face only told him how much she was judging him. “What! Leave me alone! Stop staring like that, gods, it’s weird.”
==
“Don’t y’think you’ve been “retired” long enough?” Ashley leaned back in his chair and kicked his legs up on the table in front of him; he stuck the tiniest crumb of paper under his tongue, then closed his eyes. “Nope.” “Kid, you have to *move on*. Shite like this? This happens all the time - you’ve been sheltered way too long--” “Who died and made you th’boss of my life, huh? If I’ve been sheltered, then y’leave me to be the little bitch I am until I’m *ready* to “move on”. You haven’t experienced what I have. I haven’t experienced what you have.” “How’re you going to make any money to live with an attitude like that.” “Off my savings? My life ain’t your business - you can either sit here and enjoy a drink with me, or you can piss off. I don’t care either way, I ain’t working yet.”
==
He didn’t really need the road down memory lane - but it helped ease the pain, just for a little bit. His boots crunched over the shells and rocks that made up the shores of the Ruby Sea, staring at the water as he strolled. He had always questioned why they had referred to it as “ruby”, there was nothing as brilliant or red about it… back then, of course. He had taken its beauty for granted. The crimson kelp that made up the depths against the sparkling reflections from the sun, everything was so… peaceful. To a degree. He couldn’t account for the Garlean control over the area, and had to be on his toes because of it, but it was nice.
He wished his friends were around to witness it - it was dark when they were able to see it, if one could even call it “seeing”, as much as it was a black pit of unknown they were diving into.
He made a stop in Crick - he wasn’t necessarily welcome, but he wasn’t unwelcome either. They regarded him with impassiveness there, letting him relax as he wished or needed to - which happened to be in front of a fire with a pot attached to it, boiling water. How much longer could he stand to be here? The memories were starting to hurt now, they ached, and suddenly he felt ill to his stomach. That was when he decided it was best to leave, standing up to turn back the way he came - watching the ocean once more with the unevenness of the shore beneath his feet yet again.
There was a fisher’s boat floating in the middle, a small Auri woman casting out a line with a basket of fish next to her. Living a carefree, or… mostly carefree life. Living life as she could, and it seemed she was doing well enough. She turned her head and made accidental eye-contact with him-- those eyes, that face.
“Ruta?” He questioned softly, then smiled brightly and waved. “Ruta! You’re safe! Gods be!” As he watched the woman wave back, his vision blackened - flashes of the body of his fallen friend bleeding out on top of her girlfriend’s, looking behind him as he ran.
The next he knew were flames - and only flames. His whole body was searing, the heat too much for his skin. He tried to pull his foot from the ground, to try and run for the ocean, but he could not move. He stayed in place and it only seemed like the relief of water got further and further away the more he longed for it. It started with his legs, that’s where his eyes turned to next. One foot stood solid in the slowly creeping fount of lava, threatening to take the next one over. What happened? How did he get here? There was no way he would have done this of his own volition, was there? But no, he did - he stepped right into it, a wonder, no, a *knowing* of what the consequence would bring. A solace in knowing that this would be the price he paid for his inadequacies.
Even as he tried to change his mind - tried to scream for help that could not hear him, the fire climbed only higher. All he could do was cry out in pain as he watched his clothes set ablaze, and his skin begin to blacken and peel. The pain of it all, the searing pain of his skin melting from his bones wasn’t even the worst of it; it was the agony of seeing it happen slowly - the scent of the hairs and flesh charring; the popping, bubbling, cracking noises that followed until he was swallowed whole by it. Each scream, each breath, he was forced to swallow the flames until they choked him - then each cough cooked his lungs; his vision was nothing but reds and oranges until it had gone black, and what was left of him could only fall to try and drag itself to an escape out of pure need for survival. Only to be overtaken by the slow and searing pain of pure fire covering the entirety of his body - the last he heard was not the crackling of his bones like tinder, but the paddles of a boat hitting the still water as it passed right by him.
==
His awakening was a slow one this time, feeling the tears that had dried against his cheek. He woke up next to the flames of the dying fire, left alone by the people of the town around him. He was disoriented, confused. When it finally settled that it was a nightmare, he let out a heavy and relieved sigh.
Not quite the same as the last, but no less painful and terrifying.
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pillarmenarevoregods · 4 years ago
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Ask: Macro/Micro Vore Pillar Men and Joseph Joestar
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First off, I am so so SO sorry for how long this took. Both real life responsibilities and the double standards I hold myself to about creating “quality content” meant my answer to this prompt sat in a half-finished state for a long time. I figure I should just post what I have now and hope it’s sufficient. 
@delcaty007​ (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Macro/Micro Vore, Multiple Pred Scenarios, M/M, Non-fatal, Unwilling, Fearplay, Mentions of Digestion)
I had several ideas for this, and kind of debated which ones were worth fleshing out (or at least what I’d have the time/motivation for). This might not be fully fleshed out stories, but I hope it’s cool still.
I’m writing this in a premise of post-Battle Tendency, through some means, the Pillar Men come back to seek revenge: Kars is brought back from space, Esidisi and Wamuu are revived, and Santana is out of the Speedwagon vaults. BUT they are 30 feet tall and have no idea why/how that happened. They also find many of their abilities missing, BUT also can be in the sun! Yay! And then they find out the hard way that they can’t digest anything. Joseph’s gonna be stuck in a couple different belly jails.
I decided to write these in the order that Joseph fought the Pillar Men in canon. These can technically be independent scenarios of each other, or you can imagine it as the pillar men taking turns sending Joseph down the hatch if you want. I hope you enjoy!
Santana
He sure remembers how annoying that little primitive named Joseph Joestar was to him, and he’s going to find out what happened to him
He quickly learns about the events that transpired with his fellow Pillar Men and knows Joseph is alive
He actually wanted to seek out that Major Von Stroheim asshole first, because of well… I wouldn’t blame him. However he finds out Stroheim died and well, a little disappointing, at least there’s still JoJo to seek out
Once he locates him, Santana literally plunges his hand into the roof of Joseph’s home and grabs him
Joseph attempts to hamon him, but is shocked that… it no longer affects the pillar man. And how did he even get this large?
Santana smirks, considering it dumb for JoJo to even try using hamon when he’s literally outside in the daylight, unharmed.
Deep booming chuckle, “You idiot primitive…” and he starts squeezing Joseph in his hand, thinking it’ll be satisfying to feel his bones snap.
THEN his stomach gurgles and he has a better idea
Without another word, he quickly pops Joseph in his mouth, tilts his head back and swallows him faster than Joseph can process what just happened.
Joseph goes down Santana’s throat in shock, thrashing, trying to climb his way back up, but the muscles of Santana’s esophagus are no match and pull him down to his doom.
Joseph lands on what seems to be trees, brush, and random animals (still alive). It seems like Santana tried swallowing a LOT of different things
Somewhat to his relief, Joseph notices that nothing has really digested.
Santana, on the other hand, can’t care less about what’s happening inside his stomach. He has that annoying JoJo right where he belonged. The weight in his stomach and the occasional minor sting of attempted hamon only tickled a bit. 
Joseph wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, and Santana likewise said nothing when meeting back up with the other Pillar Men.
The first thought on their minds was to find Joseph too, and Santana had to press his tongue in his cheek at knowing that he simultaneously got to stick it to Kars by eating his “mortal enemy” before he could.  
Esidisi
He remembers how he died, and while on one hand respects Joseph for winning against him, isn’t going to pass up the opportunity to get his own revenge
Finds Joseph out on a solo boating trip (convenient, right?) and all Joseph can see is some massive force swimming in the water rushing towards him
Esidisi rises up like a colossal beast, picking Joseph’s boat out of the water
“JoooJooo, it’s been a while, huh? What, like 10 years?” Esidisi makes sure to smile wide and show off his sharp teeth, bringing the small boat in his hand closer to his face.
Joseph probably pisses himself (let’s be real), screaming “OH MY GOD” or “HOLY SHIT,” which is music to Esidisi’s ears, causing him to belt out laughing.
“Didn’t think you’d see me again, didya?!” Joseph doesn’t even have a response, he’s just thrashing and yelling at this point
“You remember our conversation about the Art of War, yeah? Well I hope you do. Sun Tzu told me one more bit of advice that has truly been the most beneficial to me...”
He lifts Joseph up above his face, “’Keep your friends close, your enemies even closer.’” before dropping Joseph in his open mouth.
Esidisi hums in appreciation as Joseph flails on his tongue before jerking his head back and giving a thorough swallow to send him down.
He places his hand over his stomach, relishing in the sensation of pounding helplessly at his stomach walls, and feeling confident that he can go back to Kars to report that JoJo has been “taken care of.”
After a long while of walking and swimming through the ocean, he notices Joseph was still active inside him. He would have started digesting by now, right?
Esidisi figures all that physical motion may be disrupting digestion, so he finds a coast to sit on and waits it out, occasionally making small remarks to the man inside him
Gets frustrated and cries eventually because why won’t he digest?? Esidisi at first accepted that there were caveats to being alive again and being able to see the Sun finally, but come on
He already couldn’t use his blood vessels, couldn’t absorb the only advantage he had was being giant and still being able to contort his body, and now he can’t even digest someone he’s eaten?
Joseph meanwhile is yelling and pounding on the stomach walls, trying to hamon his way out. Esidisi is very pleased to see that the hamon is ineffective inside him, in fact it just tickles a bit.
The little pounding and yelling and screams eventually become annoying, though. Esidisi has some important pondering he needs to do on what his new life is now, and the squirming noisy human in his stomach keeps distracting him.
He sits down somewhere to ponder whether the trade-offs are worth it, has to tell Joseph, “Shut up and let me think!”
Wamuu
When Wamuu “woke back up” and noticed his masters had, too, one of his first thoughts was strangely where Joseph Joestar was currently.
He wondered whether Kars had succeeded in killing him and taking ascended as the Ultimate Being.
However, when he saw Lord Kars, also made giant by whatever spell or curse has brought them all back to life and made them 30 feet tall, Wamuu could quickly assume by the tantrum he was throwing that Joseph had also defeated him in some way.
While Wamuu didn’t exactly WANT Joseph to defeat himself or Lord Kars, he still believed in a fair fight and that a winner should be able to keep their victory.
Hearing Kars and Esidisi plot together to find Joseph and enact revenge on him (hell, even Santana is making comments about finding “that annoying JoJo”), Wamuu realizes if he wants to ensure his opponent could keep his honor, he’ll have to find the Joestar before the other Pillar Men did.
While locating him, Wamuu picks up and swallows a bunch of humans (he’s a nervous eater, he needs to snack under pressure you know?)
After several hours of the humans still pounding and yelling inside of his stomach, he realizes something was off… they should have been digesting by now, yet they’re still alive and active
Wamuu thinks it’s only fair to spit them up and let them go. He’s a little embarrassed and tactfully apologizes to these humans, “I did not expect for you to still be alive. Please forgive me, if I had known you weren’t going to digest I wouldn’t have swallowed you in the first place.” Thanks good guy Wamuu, very reassuring.   
When he does find Joseph (on a camping trip in the middle of the woods, alone…), he kneels down in a clearing just as Joseph is about to approach that area.
Boy is he surprised to see a giant man kneeling in the normally empty field, especially a man he killed 10 years ago… but giant
“JoJo, we meet again.” Queue the “OH! MY! GODDD!” and trying to runaway classic Joseph Joestar style
Wamuu picks him up like an ant between his fingers and brings him closer to his face.
“I am doing this for your own good, JoJo.” and he opened his mouth wide, held a squirming yelling little Joseph over his mouth and dropped him in, tossed his head back and swallowed.
Unfortunately Wamuu forgot to tell Joseph that he wasn’t going to die,  only places his hand unconsciously over his stomach, kneading his thumb into the area Joseph is pounding at 
When meeting with his Masters (who were unsuccessful at finding Joseph… gee I wonder why) still has his hand over his belly, trying to sooth the commotion inside.
Kars even asks if Wamuu is ill, to which Wamuu responds with “I ate something that isn’t agreeing with me.” Well, he’s not wrong
He will have to let Joseph out… eventually. But right now he just wants to keep him safe and hidden. When that will be? No one knows - especially not Wamuu or Joseph....
Kars
Oh, this man is NOT happy. All that time in space, going slowly insane? Yeah, he has it in for Joseph Joestar.
Just shortly after he stops thinking, he finds himself rapidly pulled back to Earth and suddenly much larger than he remembers being before.
It takes him a bit to gain all his thoughts back, but of course he’s elated once he realizes his companions are back as well.
After rejoicing the return of Esidisi and Wamuu (maybe at least a little happy to see Santana again, as well), he went about pursuing his new important goal
Joseph Joestar needed to feel the fear and despair he himself felt while drifting through space. He decided he wouldn’t kill him… yet.
He needed to see Joseph suffer the same way he had, killing him too quickly would just end that fun.
Kars wanted to take Joseph down in the most humiliating way - it’s only fair after being defeated in front of his enemies in such a humiliating way.
Joseph happened to be at his work office, doing business as usual in his life free of being a hamon warrior
Therefore, it was absolutely unexpected when a giant hand plunges through the glass pane window, grabs Joseph off-guard and holds him tightly in front of the face of the man in his nightmares.
In fact, he seriously just thinks he’s dreaming. Joseph covers his eyes and yells, “I’m dreaming! This is a dream! I’m going to wake up now in three, two, one…..”
Kars waits a beat for dramatic effect before hissing “Zero.” He licks his lips, being able to sense the pure dread and terror of his prey. Oh, it’s making him absolutely giddy
“I want you to know what it feels like, JoJo… To have all your hopes and dreams unfairly stolen from you.” Kars raises him high above his head, and watches the little man squirm. He’s definitely finding this cathartic.
“I drifted through space, not knowing if I’d ever escape that torture. All of my accomplishments going to waste, because of you! I believe it’s only fair, JoJo, that I give you a taste of what I experienced.”
Without much effort, he casually tosses Joseph high up in the air (but not too hard, because he doesn’t want Joseph to actually go into space
As Joseph falls back down from the sky, Kars waits with his mouth wide open and snaps his jaw shut once the screaming man lands in his mouth.
He doesn’t wait long before swallowing, while focusing on ever little sensation of his enemy wriggle down his throat. Finally, he’s conquered the Sun AND Joseph Joestar.
Even after several hours and realizing his stomach wasn’t digesting his prey, Kars accepted that it was poetic justice in a way that Joseph would remain alive, trapped for an indefinite amount of time in his stomach, just like he had been trapped in space
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