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The Ritual
Agatha x Reader || Warnings: Smut, violence
Done for an exchange with @marril96 who made this gifset as a preview for my upcoming detective Agathario fic. Check her stuff out!
Agatha hadnāt been able to use her magic for months.
She couldnāt sense a hex or a binding spell. If there was one, it was intricately done. No, there was a block. Regular people had the flu, witches had blocks. It wasnāt often and it typically never lasted more than a few days.
It was sometimes brought on by being near overpowering magic while your own was unstable. Other possible causes were new overwhelming emotional changes, mental torture, or lack of practice for more than a few decades. It was often psychosomatic, caused by the mind rather than anything external.
Agatha had never suffered from it, given that her major life changes were almost immediately followed by absorbing the powers of a coven. Nicky died, she created the con of the road. Rio left her after brief reunions, she would find more witches to use. The pair had finally let go of one another decades ago, so it couldnāt have been Rio.
When she met you, though, her entire world shifted. She was finally feeling grounded by someone who wasnāt running off for a greater purpose like her ex did. You both made each other your purpose.
She had plunged the depths of her mind to figure out what the cause of her block was, but couldnāt find anything. She researched every text on the subject of blocked magic. All it said was to find the cause and make peace. Agatha had always considered peace to be overrated.
Agatha had moved in with you a few months prior, right around the time of her magic freezing up. You both lived in an old victorian at the edge of the woods. You found yourself holding her at night, whispering words of comfort in her ear. You would help her look for answers while reading up on your own healing magic. You supported her the best you could. She was happy with you, but incomplete without her purple. It was a new thing for Agatha to feel happy and to feel powerless. Both were unnatural states for her.
One day, you were working on a new healing salve as the sun set outside. You plucked a bloom from the dried flowers you had hanging over the kitchen island amidst the pots and pans. You dropped it into the boiling water, watching the color change.
A crash yanked you out of your focus. You froze, conjuring a ball of energy in your palm as you listened for a possible threat. Instead, you heard a familiar groan. You extinguished the orb before running to the source of the sound.
Agatha had collapsed after opening the door. Blood poured from a wound in her side. She had bruises and cuts all over her form. You knelt down, moving her onto her back so you could get a better look at the damage.
āWhat happened?!ā you asked in a panic.
Agatha let out a pained wheeze. Your heart raced and your chest tightened.
Agatha coughed up some blood before saying, āA warlockā¦ he followed me from the magic shop in townā¦ he knew who I was. Wanted toā¦ be the killer of the witch killer.ā
As if she had summoned him herself, a tall man appeared in the doorway. He was unable to come inside due to the sigils surrounding the house. He smiled and laughed.
āA healer? Oh, this is going to be far too easy. I am surprised the great witch Agatha Harkness couldnāt find a protection witch to keep her s-ā
You cut him off with a powerful beam of destruction shooting out from your palm. So many mistook healers for being peaceful or having passive magic. They didnāt realize that such witches also held command of the opposite end of the spectrum. While you could heal, you could also harm more harshly than other types of witches. It was the balance of magic that some so easily forgot.
The warlock landed in the dirt like a ragdoll. You stepped out onto the porch, looming over him. He winced, opening his mouth to say something before you shot him with another blast, holding this one until it left him a blackened husk of meat.
Once your were assured of his demise, you ran back to Agathaās side. She wasnāt doing well. You knelt down, having a second look at her injuries. She gasped sharply in pain as you moved her shirt up enough to see the wound. It was definitely one that could prove to be fatal with how much blood was being lost. You were too far from any hospital, so you would have to find a way to somehow heal an injury that was damn near impossible to do with magic.
You were a healer, yes, but you were a healer of witches. You could only help so much with fixing regular people, especially when they were harmed by a witch or warlock. With witches, she could channel her magic into theirs to heal their bodies. The fact that Agatha no longer had access to her power meant that you couldnāt save her life without going to extreme lengths. Even then, there was only a chance of success.
You stood up and ran to the kitchen, leaving Agatha on the floor in the entryway.
āOh noā¦ itās fineā¦ Iāll stay right hereā¦ā she called.
You would have smiled if not for your fear. As long as she was being her sarcastic self, she was still alive. You already had half of the concoction done since you had been working on healing salves already, but the substance itself wouldnāt be enough. It needed a ritual to go along with it.
You threw in more ingredients and let them boil as you ran to the living room to retrieve candles. You rapidly and clumsily set them down in a circle around your girlfriend. You noticed her eyes had drifted closed. Your stomach dropped and you bent down, shaking her awake. Agatha woke, groaning in pain.
āOwww! Damn it!ā she scolded.
āGood! Keep yelling at me. Keep your eyes open. Iāll be right back,ā you said before running off.
She did just as you said, finally following orders for once. You ripped a page out of one of your spell books. She loudly complained about everything she could as you brought the serum, gemstones, matches, and chalk out. You set them all down and got to work. You drew sigils in chalk between each candle before lighting it. The gemstones were placed in a specific order.
You consulted the torn page that detailed the ritual. You had never attempted this ritual before. It was too risky for both parties involved. If it went wrong, your own form could be drained of life along with hers. Agatha, who had been bitching just a moment before, recognized the preparations.
āNoā¦ā she said.
āYes,ā you said back while lighting the final candle.
āNoā¦ there has to be another w-ā
āThis is the only way.ā
āMy love, you canātā¦ā
āI can and I will,ā you said with an assuredness that you werenāt sure you completely felt.
You moved into the circle with her, stripping her clothing from her. She gasped and winced, but neither of you had the luxury of being delicate. You carried on, taking the serum and pouring it from the pot over her torso, coating the injury. Her back arched as she screamed out in pain. You hated that you were unable to let it cool properly. The salve instantly healed the burns caused by the boiling temperature. She passed out from shock, but you slapped her awake.
āAgh! What the fuck?!ā she yelled, āYou couldnāt have BLOWN ON IT or added ice before giving me THIRD DEGREE BURNS?!ā
āOh, hush, theyāre already gone,ā you chided.
You began chanting in Sumerian as the energy around them shifted. The ritual was older than most, something that was created before Latin. The candles would be the first measure of how it was working. The flame shrank to nearly nothing, signifying a lack of effectiveness. A second passed before the wicks re-ignited with bursts of fire. You felt your body relax slightly as you kept chanting.
You then changed your chant, moving to her wound. You hovered your hands over it as they glowed. The imbalance of power created a vacuum, with Agathaās lack of magic causing your own to begin breaking down. Your face began to lose color and your arms shook. The gemstones vibrated against the wooden floor as a warning that you swiftly disregarded. Agatha realized what was happening, watching your lips turn blue as her own body began going cold. You doubled over, your face close to her shoulder.
āS-stop,ā she whimpered, wanting at least one of you to survive the ritual.
You simply kept chanting, even as your voice constricted. Agatha brought her hand up and cupped your cheek. You turned your head to face her, knowing in that moment that you would rather die with her in an effort to save her than sacrifice her to save yourself. The only way out was through, for better or worse.
You leaned into her touch as your skin began to warm again. You watched pink returning to her lips and cheeks. The wound was also beginning to heal slightly. You could tell from Agathaās smile that you looked better as well. You finished the chant and looked back at the page showing the steps of the ritual. A sly smile tugged at your lips.
āI doubt we will have an issue with this part,ā you said.
āWhat do you mean?ā
You didnāt answer as you hiked up her loose skirt. You said an incantation before bending Agathaās legs. You leaned down, your eyes gazing into your girlfriendās as your tongue slipped inside of her. Agatha whimpered before arching her back. She shook from the shooting pain of the wound, but the pleasure outweighed it.
You slid two fingers into her, curling them with every thrust. You needed to bring her to the peak of pleasure to essentially give her body a jump the way you would a car. It would give Agatha a magical influx on par with adrenaline in combination with electric shocks to the chest. With nothing to work off of on Agathaās side, you had no clue if you would survive this. Her climax could restore her or it could drain you both depending on what the universe allowed.
Although you would never tell Agatha for fear of giving her a fatal case of performance anxiety, Agatha was familiar enough with the ritual to know the stakes. She looked down at you with so much love. She had been so terrified of having someone who she loved like this in her life, but this risk you were taking for her cemented what she should have already known. You were devoted to her more than anything and would never leave. As that realization clicked into place, something finally changed within herself.
Just as you were beginning to feel another drain, Agathaās body began to emanate energy. The magic rushed through her, finally flooding in after months of being blocked. Her acceptance of you as a constant in her life sparked it.
You could taste the power restoring itself as you devoured her. You sucked aggressively on her clit as your fingers thrusted faster. Both of your eyes locked, your magic balancing with hers. The wound healed with a blinding glow, closing completely with her orgasm.
She had never looked more beautiful than she did in that moment with her energy visibly engulfing her. Shades of purple licked at the outline of her form. Her eyes shone with violet and gold. Her walls clenched and pulsed around your fingers.
One candle flame extinguished itself after another. The stones stilled. The aura of Agathaās power absorbed back into her. She took a shaky breath, lifting herself up on shaking arms. You crawled over her before kneeling, straddling her lap. Your palm rubbed over her now unharmed skin. You couldnāt believe it had worked.
Her hands held your face and guided you to look at her. You beamed at her like you had fallen for her all over again without knowing.
#agatha all along#agatha harkness#agatha x reader#agatha harkness x reader#reader inserts#x reader#marvel fanfiction#fanfiction#fan fiction#fanfic#agatha all along fanfic#agatha all along fan fiction#aaa#kathryn hahn#writing#marvel mcu#mcu fandom#sapphic#lesbian#lgbt#lgbtq#witches#witchy#witchblr
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casting a spell on the girl you wish had a bigger chest against her will
AN: Definitely longer than I intended (1700+ words) but sometimes I start writing and I can't stop! I hope you enjoy it!
Dana had been my friend for a long, long time, since we were too young to be stopped by the idea that boys and girls weren't allowed to be friends with each other. It made our bond special and it meant that we could really talk about anything with each other. There were no secrets between us, even when we started growing up and going through changes.
Well, some changes.
While I did okay, puberty was less kind to Dana. Her face changed and she got a little taller, but even before she hit five feet, her body decided that it was just done growing. Done growing upward, done growing out. She transitioned from a training bra to a 28AA, though one could hardly call that a transition. Her hips stayed narrow. I told her that her slender waist have her body a really feminine shape, but I could tell she didn't really believe me. She said she was fine with it, though. We'd talk about girls in our classes who had shot through the alphabet and turned into bombshells overnight and Dana insisted that she didn't want any part of that. Tits made people dumb, she said. Tits made people boring. As soon as you could rely on your figure, your personality shriveled up and withered away. She said she was far happier with her smaller body than she could ever be as some huge-boobed bimbo. It was pretty obvious that she was just trying to bury her jealousy in pride, especially when she said that she'd never sully her body by get implants or trying to grow even a single cup size bigger.
The fallout of her first girlfriend leaving her for a bustier woman was intense. Dana was practically catatonic for a week, and I did all I could to look after her. She barely ate. She barely slept. It was the most depressed I had ever seen her. One night, when she was delirious from lack of sleep, she grabbed me by the collar and told me that big tits made someone a bad person. Busty women were all homewreckers who deserved to be shunned from society or be forced into brothels where they can perform their singular service to society and they can't hurt anyone else. She finally fell asleep with her arms crossed over her chest.
In hindsight, casting a spell on her against her will to make her tits grow probably wasn't the best way to go about helping her. It was a bit of a panicked idea; I just couldn't bear the thought any longer of not being able to help. Nothing I did could drag her out of her slump, so I resorted to an admittedly extreme measure. There was a decent chance, anyway, that the magic would be bogus or be indistinguishable from natural growth, which made it easier to justify. Neither of those were the case.
It was interesting, at least, to watch her reaction to growing. The first few cup sizes, grown quickly over a day or two, were met with a trepidatious pride. In her mind, she could still consider them "small", even if they were magnitudes bigger than the next-to-nothing she had before. There was an adjustment period, getting used to having weight and wobble on her chest. I occasionally walked into the room just in time to see her yank her hands away from her tits, blush on her cheeks, embarrassed for having acknowledged them at all. She'd stammer out something along the lines of "Well, this is fine. They're still small. I'm not a big titted, girlfriend stealing whore. As long as I stay this big, I'll be fine."
She didn't, of course. Dana's growth continued unbothered by her own feelings about her tits. Once she passed the DD mark, she couldn't really excuse them as being small. The timid fondness that marked her early growth quickly turned to dismay and frustration. A glass was knocked off the table and shattered on the ground, a casualty of Dana's slow acclimation to her own size. She was so angry at herself and her tits in response, that she punched her boob hard enough to leave a bruise. "Fuck these things! I never wanted them! And now they're huge and in the way! Gross bags of fat, never fucking stop moving! The moment you stop growing, I'm chopping you off, you hear me!"
She wouldn't get the chance. By the time the bruise healed, she was pushing the limits of common bra sizes. She never gained an inch in height, still standing with the top of her head below my chin, and her hips stayed narrow as ever, but that slim waist of hers was rapidly being concealed behind her growing tits. She was growing too fast to even buy a bra to contain them and so she milled about my apartment in shirts that were rapidly becoming too tight, struggling to contain that much tit. I could hear the seams straining whenever Dana arched her back and lifting her arms above her head inevitably caused a bit of underboob to slip out.
As much as I tried to keep myself under control, it was about that time that I started staring. I couldn't help myself. These were the biggest tits I had ever seen in real life and rapidly encroaching on being the biggest tits I had seen ever. The first time she caught me staring, it caught her off-guard and I could tell she dismissed it as nothing. The second time, she got angry, punching my arm a bit harder than just "playfully", reminding me that she's a person and more than a pair of tits. The third time, though, I could tell something was different. She blushed and turned away, but her body betrayed her, two little indents forming on the front of her stretched shirt, her nipples stiffening beneath.
It was a few days later, when we were both watching TV (or, rather, we were on our phones on the couch while the TV was on) when Dana turned to me. By now, her breasts nearly rested in her lap, only an inch or two between her thighs and the undersides of her tits. "Do you, um..." She bit her lip. "Do you like big tits?" My face flushed and I stammered something completely incoherent, but she waved her hand in the air, her tits wobbling. "No, no, it's okay. You're fine, dude. I was just... You've been so nice to me through all of this. The break up first and then these." She gave the side of her tit a little slap, the impact rippling across her bust. "And I realized this morning that, um..." She bit her lip, her toes (not reaching the ground past the edge of the couch) curled and uncurled. Her nipples stiffened beneath her shirt, larger and more obvious than ever. "I realized that I'm bigger. Not just bigger than I was before, I mean, anyone would be bigger than I was- hell, you're bigger than I was-" She waved her hand and cleared her throat. "What I mean to say is that I'm bigger than her. The one that stole Nadia away from me. By, like, a lot." The more she talked, the wider her smile grew. She sat up straight, pushing her breasts forward slightly. "I think... I think it would help me get my confidence back if I, y'know, did something with them."
She shifted in her seat, turning her whole body towards me, climbing up onto her knees. There was nowhere for me to go except back into the corner of the couch where Dana quickly trapped me. There was nowhere I could go that wouldn't have me brushing against her bust. "I've never felt... attractive. Before. I told myself it wasn't important. The closest I ever got was the first date Nadia and I went on, but clearly that didn't pan out. But now I have these huge fucking boobs. And you can't stop looking at them. And I've seen you, er, react to them. A little tent in your pants." Now both of us were blushing. The tension in the air grew thicker by the second. "It wouldn't surprise me if you, ahem, jerked off to them. I've already done it myself a few times. They're... they're really sensitive." Her hands felt so small as they reached out and grabbed my wrist. I could barely believe what was happening as she dragged my hand up to her bust, my palm hovering an inch over her left tit. Warmth radiated out of them and into me. Her breathing became deep and slightly ragged. "If you wanted to, we could... I mean, it would be alright if... We'd still be friends either way, but..." Her confidence was wavering so I bridged that final gap, pushing my hand forward and taking her tit in my grip.
Instinct took over. I squeezed. Hard. The initial shock was quickly broken through by a wall of arousal slamming into Dana. She arched her back, pushing her tit into my hand. I don't even think I could describe how it felt to have that massive breast bulge around my fingers, spilling out through every gap, her nipple twitching and quivering against my palm. Even now, the memory of pulling her shirt up and exposing her massive tit, how it felt to have her little hands on the back of my head guiding my lips to her nipple, moaning in time with the rhythmic sucking and squeezing of her head-dwarfing tit, leaves me feeling a bit dazed.
Dana would grow a little bit larger before finally stopping, the spell wearing off. Nadia was quickly forgotten (though I had to talk Dana down from sending her a Big mistake. Huge. style text with a picture of her cleavage) and Dana's attitude on tits quickly normalized. Dana and I didn't end up together, though we did briefly have a friends-with-benefits relationship. Then she met Lillian and the two have been together ever since. I did, eventually, tell Dana about the spell and there was an awkward couple of days, but apparently Lillian helped her through it and she was able to, eventually, thank me for it. She said that I probably should have asked, but admitted that she probably would have said no and then she would have missed out on something wonderful. Lillian occasionally sends me pictures of Dana's bust as continuous thanks for my part in making them. She says it's the least she can do.
#breast expansion#breast growth#breast obsession#breast envy#GO asks#I don't think this is what you had in mind for this ask#This may be inspired by some real people I know#Names have been changed to protect the innocent
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Request: can you do a caitlin fic where the reader is mad at her and caitlin tries to make it up to her and the reader forgives her and it's really cute?
(I actually was working on a story like this so this is perfect omg!! Tysm for the request! ā¤ļøā¤ļø)
Apologies
Caitlin Clark x reader
Summary: Request above!!
Warnings: None, fluff and a little angst!
No spell check again sorry if messy š„²š„²ā¤ļø
ą±Øą§ Ėā.Ė į”£š© ą±Øą§ Ėā.Ė į”£š© ą±Øą§ Ėā.Ė į”£š© ą±Øą§ Ėā.Ė į”£š© ą±Øą§ Ėā.Ė į”£š© ą±Øą§ Ėā.Ė
You knew since it was the off season caitlin would be busy, with all her fancy nike ads and pointless interviews.
But never would you think she would be this busy.
It was a cold fall evening when you and caitlin had decided to have a movie night together after she got back from a photo shoot.
It was the first time just the two of you were able to hangout one on one for almost a month, So to you it was important that it actually happens.
You loved cait but the repeating instance of her missing out on special things and planned dates was not pleasing you.
It was around 3:00 when you decided to start laying out snacks and cozying up your small apartment living room, placing down you and Caitlinās favorite snacks on the coffee table.
It was getting close to 4:00 when caitlin should be home so you got a set of pajamas on and waited for her on the couch scrolling through instagram.
30 minutes had passed and the time hit 4:15 with no sign of caitlin, checking her location, it was set at the same studio she was at for the shoot.
A pulse of anger and sadness grew throughout your body, yet you still held onto a little hope knowing the studio wasnāt too far. Maybe she was just packing up now? Or maybe they had to re shoot something?
Yet 2 hours went by and there was no trace of caitlin nor any signs of her going home.
Disappointed you cleaned up the blankets spread across the couch letting a small tear fall onto the blanket you were folding up.
Just then the door to your apartment opened and in walked caitlin, the same backpack and clothes she wore earlier still on her.
āY/N i know what your going to say and im sorry i just-ā she said
You cut her off before she could say anything else. āYou just what?!ā You said before going on.
ļæ½ļæ½Im sick of this caitlin, you never show up anymore i donāt get it.ā You said fighting back tears as you turned to face her.
āI do..i do show up its just.ā She paused āi have a busy schedule you get that Y/N. You out of all people should understandā she stepped closer to you guilt playing on her face.
āName one time you have shown up for me in the past month caitlinā
She stopped unable to answer.
āExactly, I do everything for you I plan our dates, i come to all your boring ass games, and i put in time for you.ā Tears now filled your face unable to hold any back now.
She stood there speechless guilt overpowering her anger.
āIm sick of your excuses. you know i just want to be loved sometimes and you cant even do that for me. Im done caitlin. ā You said before walking off into the bathroom to calm yourself.
Caitlin stood there ashamed and stunned. Sitting on the couch for a moment to collect her thoughts before she saw one of the bowls you hadnāt cleaned up from her late appearance.
Just then she had an idea, she grabbed a few left over bowls setting them on the table and rummaged through the cabinets finding some snacks pouring them into each bowl.
Next she looked through the fridge for spare cookie dough you had made for her from a week or so prior taking it out of the fridge and placing it onto a cookie sheet.
She pre heated the oven and poured you both a glass of wine and took her heating blanket from your guys room and placed it on the couch plugging it in and putting some blankets and pillows on top.
Once the oven was heated she popped the cookies in and placed all the snacks onto the table with the two glasses of wine.
Knowing like most fights you would usually take a shower and do self care after to decompress she knew she had time.
She decided to splurge and run out to the jewelry store across your apartment complex and get the pair of earrings you wanted that she put on hold for you so she could buy them for you.
By the time she got home the cookies were done and she set the earrings in a gift bag drawing your name on it with a heart, next to it were the words āIām so sorry, i love youā
She heard the shower stop and knocked on the door leaning on it slightly. āY/N im so sorry, you were right.. I do need to spend more time with you so will you please watch a movie with me.ā
She waited for a second now standing right in front of the door before you opened it and walked out in your pajamas.
āFine. And Im sorry for calling your games boring i promise you theyāre not.ā She smiled at you leading you to the living room.
You saw the living room adorned with blankets, wine, and snacks placed on the coffee table, but most importantly the gift bag sat right next to the cookies.
āCaitlin what is this?ā You said walking over with her to the couch picking up the gift bag.
āOpen itā she said sitting down on the couch.
You opened the bag and saw a velvet case opening it softly and saw a pair of ruby red earrings with an engravement on the gold side that had c + y/i on it.
āCaitlin you know you didnāt have to!ā You said smiling at her as you went to hug her sitting on the couch.
āI wanted to treat my girl as a sorry for being so careless.ā She said running her hand through your wet hair as you laid your head on her shoulder.
āWell movie time?ā She said and you nodded as she turned on a movie.
You waited for a moment before saying āYou know i love you cait.ā Looking up at her.
āI love you to Y/N more than anything.ā She said looking down at you and then placing a kiss on your forehead.
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Chapter Word Count: 27.3k
Kicking feet and giggling! This was a beast, and it was such a pleasure to devour.
I reacted on instinct, determined to keep her safe as I threw myself at him. I had never in my life wanted to cause anyone bodily harm, but at that moment I was out for blood.
Eeeeeeep! Protective Dieter mode activated š
I never would have imagined Dieter was capable of such a reaction, but it made me realize the lengths he would go to in order to protect those he cares about. The crazed look in his eyes probably should have scared me, but it didnāt. All I could think of doing was protecting him.
This right here is why they are absolutely perfect for each other. Their instinct in this moment was to protect one another.
His eyes were pooling with tears as his jaw flexed under my hands. He looked broken. It was almost enough to shatter the facade I was trying so hard to maintain for his sake.
Oh! He was scared that she wouldn't want him anymore š„ŗ I feel like there was childhood stuff triggered by this for him .
I needed time to myself to feel it and work through it. I didnāt want Dieter to see me like that. I worried it would be too much for him.
She should have gone home with him. I think they both needed it.
Dieter: Iām totally going to be a needy bitch and ask if I can call you before I fall asleep? Please. š„ŗ
He's such a sweetheart. I love that he called himself a needy bitch, it's such a Dieter thing to say.
He grabbed it, placing a small kiss on her little toe beans before murmuring a quiet, āSorry, baby girlā into the fur on the top of her head.
I can't even with this. That's way too cute š
Joe moved to speak but I cut him off by holding up my hand, āIām not done. My other request is that you both stop your fucking meddling. This is partially your fault too. You were trying your hardest to manufacturer drama for this season and you fucking got it. You wanted your cast romance, now you got that with Alec and Lanaā¦so leave us alone.ā
You tell 'em Kat!
āThis week we have you two doing the Argentine Tango to the song You Put A Spell On Me.ā
This song! Good Lawd
āSoā¦,ā he finally said with a look of confusion, āDo they just want us to have sex on the dance floor? Because I feel like they want us to have sex on the dance floor. Theyāre just asking for it at this pointā¦Which is not very family friendly of them...ā
He is definitely not wrong! That song with that dance?
I snickered, āBased on your lack of a reaction, I take it this isnāt the first time sheās done that.ā He laughed and shook his head, āNope. Sheās a nosey little shit and thinks any sort of protein is for her. Especially chicken.ā
I'm envisioning Pirate Dieter with a cat on his shoulder instead of a parrot.
He sighed, āYouāre probably gonna think Iām nutsā¦butā¦I donāt want this thing between us to just be about sex. I wanna spend time with youā¦get to know youā¦connect in other ways. You know what I mean? Youāre too important to me for it to turn into that. Iām still learning how to do this relationship thing and I wanna do it right.ā
Kat, marry that man! Right now, this very instant. You'll never find another like him!
I watched him dig around in another drawer and pull out a hairbrush. It sort of shocked me when he moved to stand at my back and began running it through my hair, completely neglecting the toothbrush that was hanging from his mouth. After sitting the hairbrush down, his fingers got to work, struggling a bit at first, but eventually working the strands into a simple braid. Once he got to the bottom, he reached for my wrist with his free hand and pulled the hair tie off it to twist around the end of the braid. I watched in the mirror as he stood back and rather smugly admired his handy work as he began to brush his teeth.
āOh no, fucking is definitely still part of my cardio routineā¦though I donāt believe Iāve fucked you properly yet. Iāve taken a moreā¦sensual approach so farā¦which Iāve found I actually kind of prefer.ā
Good Lawd, I'm gonna need a cold shower followed by the ice bucket challenge š„µš„µš„µ
If this was going to be my new normal, I knew I could die a happy man.
He has his family š„¹
The pressure was getting to me. I sighed before blurting out in a rush, āOk fine we had sex.ā
š¤£š¤£š¤£
āI feltā¦happy. I would give anything to have all my mornings be like thatā¦and my nights. Being with her makes me feelā¦aliveā¦and complete.ā
This made me choke up, he's finally finding everything he needs and deserves in Kat.
I shook my head, āI mean, I went off on my dad a few timesā¦but thatās it. Iām not a violent person.ā She nodded, āI know youāre notā¦which is why Iām concerned about how that incident affected you. Did it trigger any type of trauma response?ā I canāt fucking do this. āCan we just not go there today? Iām having a good day. I donāt wanna ruin itā¦ā
I can feel the angst and trauma is on it's way. What has the poor man been through?
āFuck yes. Sing, play your guitarā¦hell, Iād settle for watching you re-pot a plantā¦get creative like I know you can be.
A Dieter Bravo gardening series! I don't shit about plants but I would devour that.
My nonsense started when Kat left the room for a quick bathroom break. I put on the long flowy wrap skirt with a Velcro closure that she was using to rehearse in. When she returned, she was greeted by me swishing around the room. I briefly paused, giving her a dainty curtsy complete with a raised pinky, which caused her to wheeze in laughter.
The gaping hole that I had felt in my heart for most of my life now seemed nonexistent and it was because of her. I no longer felt like I was lost. I was home.
I'm not crying, I'm not, I swear I'm not
*I'm lying.
There was no question about it, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and I wanted it to start now. However, I knew that was my impulsive nature talking. I needed to take this slow and continue to follow her lead. If this was going to work, it needed to be on her timeline, not mine.
This is such growth from Dieter. In the past he would have had the two of them on the first flight to Vegas to stand in front of an Elvis impersonator.
Even Zee seemed to be moping around, lacking her usual enthusiasm for dinner and play time.
Awwwww, Zee is missing her mama šæ
She sighed dramatically, āYes, sir. Whatever you say.ā I groaned, āPlease donāt talk like that or else Iām gonna get hard.ā
I feel like Kat is going to have fun with that š
Zee joined her almost immediately and snuggled into her side so that I could tuck them both in. I sat on the edge of the bed, pushing a few loose strands of hair back as she smiled up at me.
This is too adorable, I can barely stand it. I love it so much!
I shrugged, āI think the spray tan lady gave me better abs. They were there this morning.ā
š¤£
That hype song choice š¤£
The robe fell open as I sunk down into the chair, slouching with my legs spread wide - giving her an eye full of little Bravo who was now at full attention and dying to come out to play.
Sweet mercy, I need another cold shower!!
I suddenly understood why some men would risk life and limb for their significant other. If this is how they were made to feel, then I couldnāt blame them. Iād do anything for her.
Oh! š„¹
She caressed my jaw with a smirk, āDid you know what you were doing to me in New York, with the foot rub?ā I snickered, hiding my face in the curve of her neck, āIām aware that some people can have an orgasm from a foot massage. I had a thing with a massage therapist once and he taught me how to do it. It wasnāt intentionalā¦initiallyā¦but then you didnāt stop me, so I just went with itā¦ā
š¤£š¤£
There were still people milling around in the hallway. Most seemed oblivious to the activities that had just taken place on the other side of the door, except for Anika, who was standing across the hall chatting with one of the other professional dancers. They were both watching us with odd expressions as we exited my dressing room. I couldnāt help wondering if they heard something.Ā
Oh, I think Anika know exactly what was going in, she's probably quite jealous too.
Anyway...so did the Alec thing go down like you thought it would? Are we super pissed at Kat for the way she is handling it? Or do we support her plan of rubbing it all in Alec's face? Trust me when I say he's got more coming to him.
I think Kat is handling this perfectly. She has all the power in this situation. She could get him kicked off the show, she could go to the police. He keeps his job and his liberty only if she chooses that he does.
We got a lot of domestic Dieter and Kat (and Zee šāā¬) this chapter. How do we think each of them is handling things so far? Our poor guy is trying really hard and being super sweet. I want to cuddle him.
Domestic Dieter gives me the warm and fuzzies. He is so intent on making Kat feel comfortable with him, it's super attractive.
We got some new tidbits of information on Dieter during his therapy session. We will get the full story next chapter. Any theories?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say there was violence in Dieter's childhood, and possibly not only there. He was really quite triggered, the poor love.
Y'all ready for some Instagram Lives? Neither is Dieter. Doesn't mean he won't suddenly be inspired to give it a try a couple of chapters from now though. You'll probably need a tissue for that. š¬
Bring it on! I have my emotional support Grogu and comfy blankie on standby.
How do we feel about his agent wanting to use Kat for publicity? Did Dieter make the right call on that?
Dieter's agent is an ass for even suggesting it. Dieter absolutely made the right call. Kat is the love of his life, not a tool to raise his profile.
And lastly...sexy time in the dressing room. These two are something else. How long until they are open about their relationship do you think? Can we also take a minute to appreciate Dieter taking charge and showing Kat a little something new? š
Closed Position: Week 6 (Argentine Tango)
Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo x OFC (Katarina)
Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition, Dancing with the Stars, would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble.
Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on the show to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo.
Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.
Chapter Word Count: 27.3k (I know, I'm sorry!)
š Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence (not by or toward Dieter), past alcohol abuse, and past drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.
š Chapter Warnings: Dieter and Kat both being a menace, improper use of a dressing room, smut, fluff, and physical assault (Alec is a dick)
Chapter Quote: āCanāt have you gettinā confused and grabbing the wrong erection.ā
Dieterās POV
I was still riding high from our perfect score as I sat in the chair staring at my reflection in the vanity mirror. I shouldnāt have been shocked given how perfectly in sync Kat and I were during the performance, but I was. I never thought I would find myself in this position - happily sober, having the high score on a dance competition TV show, and completely in love with my dance partner. The thought of it was blowing my mind. There was only one explanation for it, to put it simply, it was Kat. Her unyielding faith was all it took to help me see myself in a different light. She made me realize that Iām stronger than I give myself credit for and Iām actually not a shitty person. She gave me the courage to be a better version of myself and have the things I didnāt think I was worthy of.Ā
My attention was drawn from my thoughts by the buzzing of my phone. I had a new text from Evan and another from my agent, Lenny. I tapped to open Evanās.
Evan: Dude, if you two are trying to keep things on the down low, you suck at it. That performance was š„š„š„.
Me: That obvious? Fuck.Ā
Evan: Yeah, better be prepared for the inevitable speculation to ramp up.
I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose as a soft knock sounded at my door. I assumed it was Kat as I called out, āDoorās open.ā
A petite brunette tentatively stuck her head through the crack as she opened the door. I recognized her as Marcās partner. Shit. Whatās her name? Sheās the TikTok girl. Sarah? Noā¦Stefanie!
āHey, Stefanie. Whatās up?ā I asked, a little confused by her presence.
She pushed the door open further to step inside. She was wringing her hands together as Marc followed her through the threshold. She seemed tense and unsure.Ā
āIām sorry to bother you, Dieter. It may be nothingā¦but I just saw Alec coming up behind Kat in her dressing room as she shut the door. It lookedā¦odd. I donāt think she knew he was in there. I know theyāreā¦ā
Blood was suddenly pounding in my ears. I didnāt hear the rest of her sentence as I stood from my seat and asked, āDid you see him come out or hear anything?ā
She shook her head, āNo, but it gave me a weird vibe. With everything going on, we felt like someone should know.āĀ
I nodded, already moving toward the door. āShe doesnāt wanna be alone with him. Thank you for telling me.āĀ
Without giving it a second thought I was jogging down the hall toward Katās dressing room, vaguely aware that Marc and Stefanie were following behind me. I felt sick. Something doesnāt feel right about this.Ā
I began knocking and calling out to her as soon as I reached the door, āKat, it's me. Can I come in?ā
I got nothing but silence in return. Marc turned to one of the other couples who were standing just outside a dressing room across the hallway. āDid you see Kat or Alec come out?ā he asked. With wide-eyes, they shook their heads no.Ā
I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest. If they were only talking, she would still answer me. Right?
I knocked harder, āKat, Iām coming in.āĀ
I reached for the knob and twisted, but it was locked. āFuck!ā
My chest was heaving as I looked around with panicked eyes. I could faintly hear Marc saying something about keys before the couple that had been standing nearby took off down the hallway. My attention was drawn back to the door, convinced I heard a light thump against it. I glanced at Marc, and he nodded. He heard it too. Before I even realized what I was doing, my shoulder began knocking against the hard metal as I continued to yell for Kat to unlock it. The door did not budge. Realizing that it was pointless to continue, I stepped back, allowing my eyes to scan the area for anyone who could possibly help. There was no one else around.Ā
I could feel the panic setting in, worried that Alec might be doing something to hurt her. Given the way he looked at us as he left the staging area toward the end of the show, I couldnāt help thinking the worst.Ā
The sound of the knob jiggling brought my attention back to the door. I reached out, twisting to find that it was now unlocked. As I pushed it open, I was briefly met by Alecās surprised face before my focus shifted to Kat, clawing at his hands clasped tightly around her neck. Her eyes were wide in panic as she gasped for air. I reacted on instinct, determined to keep her safe as I threw myself at him. I had never in my life wanted to cause anyone bodily harm, but at that moment I was out for blood.Ā
Katās POV
I could feel the fight in me fading as Alecās hands tightened around my throat. I was near blacking out when I heard Dieter knocking at the door. Hearing his voice and knowing that he was trying to get to me ignited a new burst of adrenaline. I tried to call out to him but couldnāt get any sound to come out. Alec seemed unfazed by the fact that someone was at the door. His focus was on my face, stoic and unblinking. I tried kneeing him in the groin, but once he realized what I was doing, he somehow maneuvered himself between my thighs so that I couldnāt.Ā
I was so afraid Dieter would leave, thinking I wasnāt in here. So, I changed tactics, kicking at the door with my heel while trying to relieve some of the pressure around my neck with my hands. I could feel myself fading again as Alec regained his tight grip. I could hear Dieter trying to open the door. I was torn between not wanting him to find me like this and praying he got the door open. I knew he would lose it on Alec if he saw this.Ā
I somehow found the strength to twist in Alecās grip, which allowed me to forcefully connect an elbow with the side of his face. The shock of it caused him to release his hold just enough that I was able to reach the door handle to my left and unlock it. Alec didnāt realize what I had done until he was face-to-face with a very angry Dieter Bravo.Ā
Dieter had Alec on the floor in the blink of an eye, shoving him off of me then giving a quick jab to the throat before pinning Alec down as he gasped for air. Marc and his partner followed Dieter into the room. They immediately came to my aid as I rubbed at the stinging and throbbing around my neck, fighting back tears as I inhaled deeply to catch my breath.Ā
I pushed them away, moving toward Dieter. I attempted to plead for him to stop, but I couldnāt get any sound out. My throat felt raw through my feeble attempts. I pushed Marc toward them, begging him to do something. I couldnāt let Dieter get in trouble over this asshole.Ā
It all happened so fast as Dieter got a few solid punches in before wrapping his hands around Alecās throat as he cursed the man underneath him. I never would have imagined Dieter was capable of such a reaction, but it made me realize the lengths he would go to in order to protect those he cares about. The crazed look in his eyes probably should have scared me, but it didnāt. All I could think of doing was protecting him.Ā
Even though Dieter was a lot bigger than Marc, Marc somehow managed to pull him off Alec before he took it too far. Alec scrambled to his feet, fear briefly flashing on his face before he collected himself and gave us both a sneer as he wiped at his bloody lips. āSee, I knew you were lying to me,ā he said with an accusatory tone.Ā
Dieter opened his mouth to speak as Marc continued to hold him back. I stepped forward, placing my hand on his shoulder, silencing him and causing his attention to focus on me.Ā
I met Alecās glare, āI told you there was nothing going on between us. Why canāt you just accept the fact that youāre the one who fucked up?āĀ
Alec smirked, āWas? There was nothingā¦but there is now? Right?āĀ
When I didnāt answer, he nodded then scoffed out a laugh. āYou may not have acted on it, but you were attracted to him. You were thinking about it. You were all too happy to get rid of me the first chance you got.āĀ
I could feel the anger flaring in my chest, feeling defiant against his accusations. āThe moment that I walked in on you fucking Lana was the moment you lost the right to know anything about me. Itās none of your damn business. I told you I didnāt do anything, and I know I didnāt do anything wrong. Thatās all that matters to me. You can spout off whatever bullshit about us that you want, I donāt care anymore. Everyone knows youāre the one who cheated anyway. You can thank the paparazzi for that.āĀ
I could see in Alecās eyes the exact moment he realized he didnāt have control over me anymore. This whole encounter had been a serious wakeup call and blow to his ego. He was scared of Dieter and now he was scared of me. I knew the real him and I was no longer afraid to expose him for what he was - an abusive narcissist. The perfect public image that he had worked so hard to cultivate and maintain was crumbling around him, and he was the cause of it.Ā
Alec turned to leave, but Dieterās voice stopped him. āIf you ever lay another hand on her, I will fucking end you. You hear me?āĀ
Alec smirked as he turned to face Dieter, putting on that cocky persona that he used as a defense mechanism, āAre you threatening me, Bravo?āĀ
Dieter let out a menacing chuckle, āNo, itās a promise. Iām not fucking around with you anymore.āĀ
Alecās smile faltered. He had been expecting Dieter to backtrack on that statement. He nodded, pursing his lips, āIāll keep that in mind.ā He wiped at his bloody face as he turned to leave.Ā
Once Alec was out of sight, Marc finally released Dieter. Dieterās hands immediately reached toward me to survey the damage. I winced as his fingertips gently grazed my neck, āKat, you need to call the police and report this.ā
I pulled his hand away, shaking my head gingerly. āNo. If I do that, itāll be all over the gossip sites and news tomorrow morning. That stuff is public record. I canāt handle that right now.āĀ
Dieter huffed in exasperation, āWhat if he does this again? This is the second time Iāve witnessed it, and this time was way worse.āĀ
Marc stepped forward, āI agree with Dieter. Iāll be happy to give a statementā¦Alec was out of line.āĀ
I shook my head again, āNo. Dieter, Iā¦ā I paused, not knowing what to say. I knew he wasnāt going to be concerned about himself. āDieter, I donāt want you to get into trouble. He may retaliate by pressing charges against you or somethingā¦itāll turn into a whole thing. Iām not gonna let him ruin your reputation when youāve been working so hard to fix it.āĀ
I could tell Dieter was getting frustrated as he ran his hands down his face, āI donāt care about that. I was protecting youā¦ this is on him.ā
I sighed, āI know you were, and Iām thankful you came to meā¦but that wonāt matter. The headlines will be that you assaulted someone. Thatās all people will see.āĀ
I grabbed his hands as I peered up at him, āHeās not gonna do it again. You scared the hell out of him tonight. I could see it. Also, there are two witnesses besides us. Heās fucked and he knows it. Letās justā¦deal with it my way? Ok? Please.āĀ
For the first time, my attention shifted to Stefanie as she moved to close the door.
āSorry, thereās a bit of a crowd forming out there. Everyone must finally be making their way down here from the ballroom.āĀ
Now that I had a moment to think, I didnāt know why Marc and Stefanie were here.
āDieter, how did you know he was in here?ā I asked.
Stefanie meekly raised her hand, āI told him. I saw Alec as you were closing the door. He seemedā¦off. Marc felt like we needed to get Dieter, so we did.āĀ
āWhy did you feel like you needed to get Dieter?ā I asked Marc.
He shrugged, thinking through his next words before he spoke. āYou two seemā¦close. I figured he would know if it was something to be worried about or not.āĀ
Close? Fuck. Were we really that obvious? I puffed air out of my cheeks before walking over to Stefanie and pulling her into a hug, āThank you for noticing something wasnāt right. I donāt know how that would have gone otherwise.āĀ
I turned to Marc, thanking him as well before asking. āIf you guys donāt mind, please keep the details of this between us for now?āĀ
They both nodded. āOut of everyone on the cast, weāre probably the only ones you can trust. We wonāt say anything.ā Marc replied.
āWhat if Stacia and Joe ask us about it?ā Stefanie questioned.Ā
I sighed, āIf they do, tell them what you sawā¦and Iāll handle the rest.ā
I glanced over at Dieter as he sank down into a chair, placing his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. I could tell he wasnāt handling this well. I looked back to Stefanie and Marc, āWould you guys mind giving us some privacy?ā
They both looked in Dieterās direction with a sympathetic expression before nodding and moving to exit. Before I closed the door behind them, Marc turned to me. āKatā¦let us know if you guys need anything, yeah? Doesnāt matter what it is.ā
I nodded, āI will, thank you.āĀ
After closing and locking the door, I moved to stand in front of Dieter. I had to nearly pry his hands from his face, but even then he still wouldn't look at me. I crowded his space, forcing him to lean back in the seat as I hiked my dress up to straddle him. He was still avoiding my eyes as I reached for him, cupping his cheeks to angle his head upward so I could look at him. His eyes were pooling with tears as his jaw flexed under my hands. He looked broken. It was almost enough to shatter the facade I was trying so hard to maintain for his sake.Ā
āTalk to me. Whatās wrong?ā I finally asked.Ā
He shook his head, pulling my hands from his cheeks.Ā
āDieter, donāt push me out. Please.āĀ
He took a deep breath, looking anywhere but at me. āIā¦justā¦I thought something bad happened. I was scared that you were hurtā¦and I couldnāt get to you. Then Iā¦just sort of lost it when I saw what he was doing to you. Iām sorry. Iāve neverā¦Iām not like that. I donāt want you to think Iām like that. Iām not a violent personā¦āĀ
The more he spoke, the more distressed he seemed. My hands found their way back to his cheeks as I tried to sooth him, āHey, itās ok. I know youāre not like that. You were protecting me. I wouldāve done the same for you.āĀ
That seemed to help him relax some as he leaned into my touch. His arms slid around my waist, pulling me closer, āIām sorry, just ignore me. I think what happened is starting to hit meā¦are you really OK? Do you need to go to get checked out? I can take you ifā¦ā
My hands slid down to rest on the sides of his neck as my thumbs rubbed against his scruffy jawline, āNo, Iām fine. I promise. You got to me before he did any real damage.ā
He leaned back some for a better view as his hand reached to push the hair away from my neck. His brow furrowed. I could see his eyes flash with anger and pain.Ā
āYouāre probably gonna have bruises.ā
I shrugged and sighed, āNot the first timeā¦āĀ
His lips set into a tight line before he pulled me in for a firm embrace, nuzzling his scratchy beard against the exposed skin on my chest. I hugged him against me, aching to run my fingers through his hair, but the copious amounts of hair gel made that impossible. I settled for rubbing just below his hairline on the back of his neck instead.Ā
He seemed vulnerable, but I didnāt really understand why. I needed him to understand that I didnāt think he did anything wrong. I leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of his head, āThank youā¦for looking out for me. Iām not sure Iād have the strength to get him out of my life without you.āĀ
He shifted so that he could look up at me with a sad smile, āThank you for letting me.āĀ
A lump formed in my throat as I returned his smile, then leaned down to capture his lips with mine. It was a languid kiss, full of emotion and need, yet somehow not sexual at all. It was comforting and everything we both needed to ground ourselves after the ordeal we had just gone through.Ā
We were distracted by a knock on the door. It was one of the assistants from the costume department. āKat, we still need your costume,ā she called through the door, clearly unaware of the drama that had just unfolded.Ā
I huffed as Dieterās hands rubbed up and down my sides, āYeah, give me a few minutes.ā I called back.Ā
My eyes focused on him, āYou better go get changed too. Theyāll be after you next.ā
He rolled his eyes, lifting me with him as he stood.Ā
āLock the door behind me, please. Iāll be back after Iām done.āĀ
I nodded and did as he asked, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves as I turned the lock. It was taking everything in me not to fall apart. The urge to burst into tears had been steadily growing since Alec left the room, but I had somehow managed to ward them off. I couldnāt fall apart here. I needed to wait until I got home. I wanted nothing more than to go home with Dieter and let him soothe all the bad feelings away, but I knew I needed to spend some time alone to process what happened. I needed time to myself to feel it and work through it. I didnāt want Dieter to see me like that. I worried it would be too much for him.Ā
I moved around the room, almost on autopilot, changing out of my costume and putting it into the garment bag. Just as I was pulling my shirt over my head, Dieter was back, knocking at the door. I grabbed the garment bag as I went to unlock the door for him, hanging it on the hook just outside for pickup before turning to grab my things so we could leave.Ā
āDid you still wanna grab some dinner? Maybe we get something to go?ā he asked.Ā
I sighed, āI think Iām actually just gonna go home.āĀ
I could see the panic in his eyes. He thought I didnāt want to be around him. I looped my hand around his bicep and gave it a reassuring squeeze as we walked toward the exit to the parking lot. āI feel like doing a cleansing. I actually wanna go home and pack up all Alecās shit so I can be done with him, for good. Especially after tonight. Itās something I need to do.āĀ
He nodded, seeming to understand, but he still looked like a wounded puppy.Ā
āHow about we do dinner at your place tomorrow after rehearsal?ā I asked. We hadnāt really gotten to spend any quality time together since coming back from New York. I wanted to, just not tonight.Ā
He seemed to perk up a bit and chuckled, āAre you volunteering me to cook for you?ā
I shrugged, āI meanā¦I would never turn down one of your homemade meals, but I would settle for takeout if you didnāt feel like it. I really just wanna spend some non-dance time with you and see Zee again too, of course.āĀ
That elicited a big smile from him as he held the door open for me. āI wonāt argue with that,ā he finally said.Ā
When we reached my vehicle, he opened the door, standing with it between us.Ā
āLemme know when you get home, please?ā
I nodded, wanting nothing more than to kiss him, but I knew eyes could be anywhere.Ā
āAnd call me if you need anything. I donāt care what or whenā¦Iāll be there in fifteen minutes.āĀ
I chuckled, āIt would take at least thirty.āĀ
He shook his head and laughed, āNope, fifteen.ā
I rolled my eyes as I sat down in the driverās seat, āIāll see you at the production meeting in the morning. Go get some rest. I expect thereāll be a full interrogation.āĀ
He huffed in annoyance as he reached down to hit the lock button on the door, then smiled, pushing the door shut as he said āGood night, Kit Kat.āĀ The smile didnāt reach his eyes.Ā
I suddenly felt torn. Maybe we did need to be together tonight. I shook the thought away as I moved to start the car, deciding to continue on with my plan.Ā
When I got home, I sent Dieter a quick text to let him know I was locked in. I settled on heating up a can of soup for dinner, given that my throat was not feeling the greatest. I actually found the warmth from it to be somewhat soothing as I took a quick inventory of how much of Alecās stuff was actually at my place and hoped that the stash of Amazon boxes that I hadnāt put out for trash pickup would be enough to pack it all.Ā
I worked in anger for hours, going through the house shoving things in boxes without any organization or order, muttering that he should consider himself lucky that I wasnāt just throwing it all out on the lawn and burning it like I wanted to. I couldnāt understand how it had come to this. I knew he had a darker side, but I never could have imagined that he would take it this far. I was almost certain that if we had been anywhere else that he couldnāt have been interrupted, he might not have stopped. The dead-eyed stare as his fingers tightened around my throat scared the hell out of me. His intent was to hurt me. There was no question about it.Ā
As I was rummaging around behind the clothes hanging in my closet, I bumped against my guitar case that was hidden behind everything. It fell over with a thud, causing a low thrumming of the strings, which was muted by the case. The sight of the instrument instantly had my stomach in knots. I hadnāt taken it out of the case since Alec and I first started dating six years ago. He had only seen me play it twice and that was all it took for me to never play in front of him again. His critical commentary made me feel inadequate under his gaze. It made me self-conscious and took the fun out of something that was once my refuge. Which was sort of ridiculous because Alec didnāt know the first thing about playing or music. He always had terrible taste. I really think what it came down to is that it was something that could take attention away from him. That probably should have been my first hint that he was not for me.Ā
After taking a few deep breaths, I laid the case flat on the floor and opened it. The vintage Gibson Hummingbird looked exactly as it had last time I laid eyes on it. Untouched by time and dust. I reached out, running my fingertips over the glossy black mahogany edges and classic light wood tone sunburst along the lower bout. The memory of the day my father gave it to me came rushing back. He had found it dirt cheap at a yard sale of all places and was beyond excited to give it to me. The memories of the times we played together seemed so long ago, but they were just as vivid as if it were yesterday. Then there was the memory of playing with Dieter at his house. I realized it had felt the same playing with him, freeing almost.
My fingers trailed up to the hummingbird motif engraved into the pickguard. It was my favorite part because it reminded me of my mom. Hummingbirds were always her favorite and I loved having a little piece of her with me after she died. I reached to pick it up, watching the mother of pearl inlay on the fingerboard reflect in the light as I twisted it to set in my lap. My fingers strummed along the strings and moved along the frets, getting reacquainted with my old friend.Ā
Without even realizing, I began to strum out the chords of the song Dieter and I had sung together that night at his house, Scars on this Guitar. It felt fitting as I began to hum along. A calmness washed over me as I played. It was like I had found myself again. It was almost overwhelming as the tears suddenly flooded out of my eyes without warning. They werenāt sad tears. It was more from relief than anything.
I was soon distracted by my phone chiming with a text message. After wiping my face, I dug it out of the pocket of my sweatpants to find a text from Dieter.Ā
Dieter: Iām totally going to be a needy bitch and ask if I can call you before I fall asleep? Please. š„ŗĀ Ā
I chuckled, loving the fact that he didnāt take himself seriously and always said whatever he was feeling.Ā
Me: Of course you can. And I like it when youāre a needy bitch. š
I knew what he was doing. He wanted to check on me and I couldnāt even be upset about it.Ā
Moments later, my phone rang with an incoming FaceTime call.Ā I huffed out a quiet āfuckā before wiping at my face some more. I hadnāt realized this would be a video call. I hoped he couldnāt tell that I had been crying. When I answered, I was met with flashes of light and fur. I could hear Dieter muttering, āWhat the fuck, Zee?ā I couldnāt help laughing as the video shifted around to finally show most of his face. His chin and neck were covered by cat fur. He looked annoyed, āHeey honey, sorry. Zee decided she wanted to jump on my face just as soon as I hit the call button.ā
I felt a rush of heat go through me at his words. I know I give him hell over the pet names, but now that I didnāt have Alec to worry about, I actually loved hearing him call me those things.Ā
I laughed, watching as he held the phone further away so I could see Zee lying sprawled out and wallowing on her back on top of his bare chest. She was rubbing her face against the scruff of his chin. It was the cutest and hottest thing Iād ever seen.Ā
I snickered, āItās ok Zee, I get it. I like to rub against his face too.āĀ
Dieter snorted as he angled the phone back toward his face, āWell that wasnāt how I expected this conversation to start.āĀ
I laughed, holding the phone further away at a lower angle, hoping he couldnāt see my red eyes.Ā
He suddenly turned a little more serious as he stared into the camera, āI just wanted to check in, make sure you were doing okā¦after everything today.ā
I cleared my throat, āYeahā¦Iām good. Just finished packing up his shitā¦so I feel a lot better now. Iāll text his brother to come get it off the porch tomorrow, so I donāt have to deal with him.āĀ
Dieter pursed his lips. I could tell he wanted to say something but was holding back.Ā
āWhat is it?ā I asked.
He sighed, āAre you sure you donāt wanna go to the police?ā
I puffed air out of my cheeks, āYeahā¦Iām sure. I really donāt think heās gonna try anything again. Iām pretty sure heās terrified of getting his ass kicked now.āĀ
Dieter chuckled, āWho said anything about an ass kicking? Iāll make him disappear if it happens again.ā
I smiled, āIāll help you hide the body.āĀ
He laughed loudly, causing Zee to reach up and cover his mouth with her paw. He grabbed it, placing a small kiss on her little toe beans before murmuring a quiet, āSorry, baby girlā into the fur on the top of her head. I really could have melted over how sweet he was with her.Ā
He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment as he looked off in the distance. His eyes eventually turned back to the camera. He seemed nervous.
āI feel like I need to apologize for how I acted. I lost control and let my emotions take over. I really donāt want you to think thatās normal behavior for me, because itās not. I-I donāt do shit like that. Ever.āĀ Ā
I could tell this was getting to him. The pain and desperation breaking through in his voice caused my eyes to prickle with tears again. I hated seeing him upset.
āDieter, itās ok. I know youāre not like himā¦if thatās what youāre worried about. I know you would never do that to me.āĀ
He appeared to relax some, but still seemed on edge. I suddenly felt selfish. I should have gone home with him tonight. He would never admit it, but it felt like this went deeper than what happened with Alec. I couldnāt help wondering if todayās events were causing something from his past to come to the surface. I wanted to ask, but that didnāt seem like a conversation to have over the phone. I suddenly felt the need to reassure him.Ā Ā
We were quiet for a beat, but I finally broke the silence, āI canāt wait to spend some time with you tomorrow. Iām sort of kicking myself for not coming over tonight.āĀ
He gave me a soft smile, āThe nightās not overā¦and my bed is always openā¦though you may have to fight Zee for a spot.āĀ
I tucked my bottom lip between my teeth, seriously considering his offer. āWhat time is it?āĀ
His head leaned up slightly, I assume to check the time, āA little after ten.ā
Huffing out a sigh, I replied, āI better not. Itās already late and we have to be at the studio early.ā
His eyes told me he disappointed, but he still smiled into the camera, āYou want to though.āĀ
I groaned out a whiney āyeeeesā, shifting to uncross my legs from where I still sat on the floor of my closet and sliding the guitar to the floor causing a slight hum from the strings.Ā
Dieter chuckled as a confused look formed on his face, āWhere are you?ā
I laughed, āSitting on my closet floorā¦Iā¦ā I paused, wondering if I should tell him what I had been doing. His brows arched, waiting for me to continue. āI uhh, came across my guitar while I was looking for all Alecās junk to pack up. I-I took it out of the case for the first time in yearsā¦āĀ Ā
I looked away from the phone as I felt my eyes prickling again. Fuck. Why is this making me emotional?Ā
āIs that why youāve been crying?ā Dieter asked.Ā
My eyes darted back to the phone, āYou could tell? And you didnāt say anything?ā
He shrugged, āI know youāre dealing with stuff. I donāt expect you to tell me and I donāt wanna pry. I know youāll talk when youāre ready.āĀ
I had to appreciate his patience with me. I never would have guessed that would be something he would so willingly give without me asking.Ā
I smiled, āYes, thatās why I was crying. Honestly, playing with you a few weeks ago made me realize how much I missed itā¦and playing just now was such a fucking relief. I sort of feel like I found one of my missing piecesā¦ya know what I mean?āĀ
Dieterās brows furrowed as his lips set into a tight line. He had a strange look in his eyes as he cleared his throat, āYeah, I know exactly what you mean.āĀ
I suddenly had butterflies in my stomach, feeling like his words had a deeper meaning that I couldnāt quite figure out.Ā
He rubbed at his face, āWell, we should probably get to bed. The sooner we fall asleep, the sooner I can be with you tomorrow.āĀ
I laughed, āYeah. Youāre right. Iāll see you in the morning.āĀ
He gave me a small smile, āNight, Kit Kat.āĀ
We both lingered in silence for a few seconds longer than necessary before disconnecting the call. My feelings for him were growing. There was no denying it. It scared me a little as I reminded myself that it was like this with Alec once. I didnāt see his red flags in the beginning. What if I was missing them with Dieter? I had to shake that thought away. It was ridiculous. I was just psyching myself out. Dieter had already proven ten times over that he was a good person and that he cared about me.Ā
After pulling myself up out of the floor and giving a full body stretch to loosen up my stiff and aching joints, I got ready for bed and settled into a restless sleep.Ā
Dieter and I both arrived at Television City Studios earlier than necessary. He was already in the lobby waiting with coffee when I walked in. He didnāt have to say why he was so early because I knew it was the same reason I was there early, I wanted to see him.Ā
He stood when I approached, his gaze immediately focusing on my neck as he reached to brush my hair away from it. His questioning eyes shifted to mine as his thumb grazed down the side of my throat.
āIām ok. Itās not that bad. I was able to cover it with makeup,ā I said in response.Ā
He sighed heavily. I could see the anger flashing in his eyes as he pulled away to rub at the back of his neck when an intern walked by. My eyes were drawn to his hand. I could see slight bruising around the knuckles, but it didnāt seem too bad. Not as bad as last time anyway.Ā
āYou didnāt tell me you were hurt,ā I said.
He glanced at his knuckles, āItās nothingā¦not even sore. Shouldāve hit him harder.āĀ
āKeep that out of sight while weāre meeting with them. If they askā¦as far as theyāre concerned, I hit him. You only pushed him off, got it?ā
He huffed, then shook his head, āYou donāt have to lie for meā¦ā
I shrugged, āItās not a lie. I did hit him.ā
Dieterās brows knitted together, āYou did?ā
I nodded, āYeah, how do you think I got the door unlocked? I elbowed him in the face.ā
He smiled, suddenly looking proud. āI donāt condone violence, but Iām kind of happy you did that. He deserved it.ā
We moved to sit in the chairs next to each other, trying our best to keep our hands to ourselves as we waited. It wasnāt long before a PA came to get us for the meeting. When we entered the conference room, Stacia and Joe were waiting. They both had a stony expression on their faces and only nodded in greeting. Fuck. They know.Ā
After we got situated in our seats, I felt Dieterās leg rest against mine under the table. He could sense the tension too.Ā
Joe crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat as Stacia eyed us with pursed lips. She seemed to be weighing how to start this conversation.Ā
āSo, it looks like things went well in New York. Did you two have a good time?ā
Small talk. Really? Dieter and I glanced at each other with confusion. āYeah, I mean it was busy as fuck, but we had fun,ā Dieter answered.
āThe footage you took was great by the wayā¦and so were your social media posts. The fans ate it up,ā Joe said.
āDid you guys take the time to do anything fun? I saw the open mic night videoā¦ā Stacia interjected.
There it is. Dieter gave a tight smile as he looked between them, āNot really. We stayed pretty busy with rehearsals for this and SNL. We barely had time to eat and sleep.ā
Stacia gave us a disbelieving look, āBut you did open mic night?ā
Dieter shrugged, āThe SNL cast invited us out for dinner that night. We sort of got roped into it.āĀ
Stacia pursed her lips and nodded before asking, āWhere did you rehearse? The hotel said you didnāt use the rented space.āĀ
Dieter and I both grimaced before he answered, āYeah, sorry. There was a large outdoor terrace with our suite. We just used that. It was more convenient with our crazy hours.āĀ
She gave a tight smile in return, āWell, Iām happy the suite worked out so well for you two then.ā
She sighed, the vibe shifting as she leaned back into her seat and rubbed at her temples, āKat, we need to talk about what happened last night with Alecā¦I wanna hear your side of it before we do anything.āĀ Ā
I puffed air out of my cheeks, āWhat did he say happened?āĀ
She shook her head, āNo. I want you to tell me your version of what happened first.āĀ My version. So thatās how this is gonna go. Great.
I took a controlled breath, the last thing I needed to do was lose it on them.Ā
āAfter the show, I went to my dressing room. He was there waiting for me. When I walked in, he grabbed me from behind, shoved me up against the wall, mouthed off for a minute, then started choking me. By that point, Marc and Stefanie had gone to get Dieter. He was trying to get in, but Alec had locked the door. I managed to elbow Alec in the face and he let go long enough for me to unlock it. Dieter came in and pulled him off me.āĀ
Her eyes shifted between me and Dieter, āSo, Dieter didnāt attack him?ā
I shrugged, āHe pushed Alec away from me and then Alec fell to the floor.ā
She was quiet for a beat, studying us. āAlec says that Dieter found you two aloneā¦talking, and then attacked him.āĀ
I let out a disbelieving laugh. Anything to make himself look better. Then it occurred to me, maybe he didnāt realize how much Marc and Stefanie had actually seen. He only saw Marc pulling Dieter off of him. What a fucking dumbass.
āWell, thatās a lie. Dieter was protecting me. Alec attacked me.āĀ
Staciaās eyes narrowed as they shifted between us, āI need for you to tell me whatās going on between the three of you so we can figure out how to move forward. Did you cheat on him with Dieter? Whatās the deal? Whyās he mad enough to attack you? Make it make sense.ā
Bitch. Sheās one hundred percent fishing for information. I felt Dieter nudge my leg under the table. I pressed mine against his as I leaned forward.Ā
āNot that itās any of your fucking business, but no, I didnāt cheat on him. He cheated on me. With Lana. He's pissed because Iāve run out of chances to give and Iām standing up for myself. Iām done and he canāt accept it. Heās trying to make us out to be the bad guysā¦to make himself feel better and itās not working in his favor because we havenāt done anything wrong.āĀ
I could see Staciaās jaw clench as she digested my explanation. I purposefully didnāt address mine and Dieterās current relationship status. I could tell that she was trying to work out how to get that question answered without asking again. Joe sighed heavily beside her and shook his head as he leaned forward to speak.Ā
āLook, I pulled the security footage. Where the camera is in the hallwayā¦I couldnāt see everything. I could see that he went to your dressing room and waited for you, and I could see how Marc and Stefanie reacted after you went inside and how Dieter was reacting after they went and got him. Their story matches yours, so Iām inclined to believe that Alec is lying. Thatās grounds to remove him from the castā¦ā
I interrupted him, āNo. Donāt. Let him stay.ā
I could feel Dieterās shocked eyes on me as I continued, āWhen we win, I want it to be because we beat him, not because he got kicked off. All that I ask is that you have security nearby when weāre all here. Make it known to him that you know what happened and the only reason heās still here is because of my grace and because I wanna crush his fucking ego by winning the competition with Dieter.āĀ
Joe moved to speak but I cut him off by holding up my hand, āIām not done. My other request is that you both stop your fucking meddling. This is partially your fault too. You were trying your hardest to manufacturer drama for this season and you fucking got it. You wanted your cast romance, now you got that with Alec and Lanaā¦so leave us alone.āĀ
Stacia suddenly looked hurt by my words as she spoke up, āKat, we had no idea this would happen, we couldnāt have. You canāt blame us for this.āĀ
I scoffed, āNo, but you hoped somethingā¦would happen.ā
She sighed, āLook, I knew Alec was sort of an asshole, but I never would have thought he would attack you. You didnāt deserve itā¦and I am sorry if we created the conditions for it. It wasnāt the intention.āĀ
Her apology almost seemed genuine, until she opened her mouth again.Ā
āYou and Dieter are the fan favorites right now. Our ratings are up because people wanna see you two togetherā¦and you guys have become close friends. I canāt apologize for our decision to partner you up or for our focus on you. I still think it was the right thing to do, and I stand by that.ā
āOh no, Iām happy you put Dieter and I together. It's the intentions behind your choices that are the problemā¦just so weāre clear.āĀ
Stacia and I locked eyes. I could tell she wanted to say more, but she was cut off by Joe, who seemed to be handling this more sensibly.Ā
āWell, given that you donāt want us to let Alec go, I do think we need to make some changes. During the professional performances, if you need to partner up, youāll be working with Marc from now on. He didnāt like working with Anika anyway. And maybe we split the professionals up into two troupes so we can keep you guys apart as much as possible. Iām sure Emily can make that work with the choreography somehow.ā
Joe rattled on about some other precautions he wanted to put into place for a bit longer, then they finally let that topic drop and got back to business. Stacia pulled out the sketches for this weekās costumes. They had me in a short lacy black dress with a low back and long sleeves. It left little to the imagination, but I was used to that. So, I gave a quick nod of approval. They had Dieter in simple black pants and a black long sleeve button up dress shirt.
Stacia seemed a little more reserved than normal as she went over the details. Our earlier conversation had obviously struck some sort of nerve with her.Ā
āThis week we have you two doing the Argentine Tango to the song You Put A Spell On Me.ā
Joe smiled smugly, āThat should be an interesting one. Canāt wait to see what you two come up with.ā
Based on his reaction to it, I assumed this wasnāt the same song that I was familiar with. He seemed too giddy about it. I glanced over at Dieter. His brows were slightly furrowed. He seemed just as intrigued as I was. We were done soon after that, not wanting to hang around any longer than we had to.Ā
After grabbing a quick lunch at the small Greek diner at Dieterās suggestion, we made our way to the dance studio to begin rehearsals for the week. We started like we always did, by cueing up our song. Both of us sat sprawled out on the floor as the sultry notes greeted us. I suddenly felt hot as my skin prickled from the music. It was beyond sexy and had my mind racing with ideas that were not meant for a public performance.Ā
Dieter and I sat listening, wide-eyed as we fully took in the lyrics. Once the song ended, his brows pinched together as he pursed his lips. I could already tell he had some sort of sarcastic comment brewing.
āSoā¦,ā he finally said with a look of confusion, āDo they just want us to have sex on the dance floor? Because I feel like they want us to have sex on the dance floor. Theyāre just asking for it at this pointā¦Which is not very family friendly of them...āĀ Ā
I chuckled. He wasnāt wrong. It was a very sexual song.Ā
āHow spicy are we allowed to be? I feel like we should push the limits of whatās acceptable just to be obnoxious and because they wonāt expect it,ā he added.
Honestly, the thought of it was sort of thrilling. I had never taken that route with a performance on the show before. Doing it with Dieter made it seem even more tantalizing because I knew it would piss Alec off and get peopleās attention.Ā
āWellā¦there have been some pretty racy performances in the past, so itās not out of the question.āĀ
Dieter giggled, āLetās just see how many different ways we can act out the lyrics.āĀ Ā
I snorted, āAct out the lyrics? Really? You want me to undress you on the dance floor?āĀ
He scratched at his scruff as he smirked, āWhy not? You are a pro at getting me naked.āĀ
I felt heat creeping up my cheeks as I gave him an admonishing look, which caused him to let out one of his boisterous laughs.Ā
I shook my head and rolled my eyes at him as he moved to stand. He then framed his arms up and began stomping back and forth dramatically in a stereotypical tango style dance, āCome on Kit Kat, let's get to it. Time to get nasty.āĀ
I couldnāt help laughing at him. His playfulness always got to me. I loved that he now showed me this side of himself. Thinking back to our first week together, he never would have acted like this. He had opened up so much since then. I could feel my heart do a little flutter at the thought as I stood to join him.Ā
I grabbed his hand, pulling him toward me so he would stop the ridiculous stomping thing he was doing. āFirst of allā¦this is an Argentine Tango, not an International Tangoā¦or whatever it is you think youāre doingā¦.ā
He dropped his head and snorted out a laugh as I gave him a teasing smile.Ā
āItās not as stiffā¦doesnāt have the quick and decisive movements that most people associate with the tango. The hold is different, allowing for more freedom of expression so that the dance can be anything from slow and sensual to fast and strong. Weāll need to include intertwining leg combos and dynamic lifts. The judges will be looking for those.ā
He was in full student mode now, listening intently and nodding along. I smiled, deciding to throw him a curve ball, suggestively running my fingers down his chest as I spoke.Ā
āThe best description Iāve ever heard that explains the difference in the two dances is that the International Tango is for dancing with your wife and the Argentine Tango is for dancing with your lover.āĀ
He nodded as a wide smile spread across his face, āIām pretty sure I can handle it given that weāve nailed the horizontal tango already...āĀ
I closed my eyes, biting my bottom lip to stifle a laugh. āI canāt win with youā¦ā I finally managed to huff out. He gave me a smug smile and shrugged.Ā
I continued on, still fighting a smile, āAnyway, letās start with the hold then we can go through some gancho and staccato leg combos. I think thatāll probably be the hardest part for you to get. Then weāll go from there.āĀ
Once Dieter got the basics down, we began to build our routine. Both of us laughing and having more fun than we usually did. It seemed that our evolving relationship off the dance floor was changing the dynamic on it as well. The communication between us came easily now. So much of it being non-verbal. We just got each other. It was a true partnership full of trust and friendship on top of everything else that our relationship fostered. It almost seemed too perfect.Ā
Dieter was flowing with ideas and more involved with planning the choreography than any of my past partners had ever been. I loved seeing his face light up when he had an idea and his excitement when he shared it. It made the process so much more enjoyable and made me feel closer to him somehow. His openness felt like a testament to his trust in me which I knew was a big deal for him.Ā
We managed to plan out the majority of the routine before our studio time was up. We left feeling good about where we were. As provocative as the routine was, we did somehow manage to behave ourselves and keep it professional. That didnāt stop the heated glances from passing between us or the occasional lingering touches though.Ā
By the time I was in the car and following Dieter to his house, I was feeling fairly worked up. The anticipation of having some alone time with him had butterflies forming in my stomach and wetness between my thighs. I couldnāt help wondering how the evening would go as we pulled into his driveway.Ā
He wasted no time pulling me in for a passionate kiss after I stepped out of the car - one hand on my cheek as the other wrapped around my waist and pulled me against him.Ā
He broke away with a relieved sigh and smiled, āIāve been dying to do that all day.āĀ
I chuckled at his enthusiasm as he turned and pulled me toward the door, never releasing his hold around my waist as he keyed into the house. The moment the door opened, we were greeted by Zee. Only then did he let go of me to bend down and pick her up.
Zee nuzzled her face against his beard as he cradled her to his chest, murmuring a quiet, āHey baby girl, Iāve missed you todayā into her fur as she began to purr. It made my heart melt to watch him with her. I never would have guessed that Dieter Bravo was capable of being this tender and sweet before getting to know him.Ā
After snuggling her for a beat, he turned to me with a dimpled smile as he approached. Zee was now lazily leaning her head in my direction, letting out a soft meow as she gave me a slow blink. I didnāt hesitate to reach and scratch behind her ears. She stretched out on her back in his arms, reaching to place her paw on my face.Ā
Dieter chuckled and stepped closer so she could rub her face against my chin as my hand stroked the long silky fur on her chest. There wasnāt a mat in sight. I smiled, āLooks like somebody is taking their cat grooming responsibilities seriously.āĀ
Dieter's cheeks flushed as he shrugged, āYeahā¦she likes itā¦and Iāve read itās a good bonding activity. So, I donāt deny her when she wants her hair brushed.āĀ
I snickered, āSheās got you wrapped around her little paw.āĀ
He sighed slowly pulling Zee away and setting her down, āYeah, it seems Iām a sucker when it comes to my two favorite ladiesā¦Come on. Iāll get dinner started.āĀ
He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the kitchen, āHopefully Cora remembered to put the chicken in the marinade before she left. If not, we may have a problem.āĀ
My brows knitted together, āWhoās Cora?āĀ
He smiled, āSheās my housekeeperā¦a little spitfire of a lady. I think youāll love her. I need to introduce you.āĀ
I nodded, noticing the affectionate smile on his face as he talked about Cora. It made me curious about her, but I didnāt question him further.Ā
I watched him rummage through the refrigerator before pulling out ingredients, including the marinated chicken. He got to work, refusing to let me help. When I tried, he leaned down and lifted me by my thighs and planted me on top of the island. After a quick peck on the lips, he told me not to move. My only job was to āwatch the master at work.ā
Zee soon joined me on the island, swishing her tail as she paced back and forth, attempting to lay eyes on what her dad was cooking. She shocked me by jumping across the distance between the island and Dieterās back, landing on his shoulder with a loud meow as he laid out the chicken in a baking dish. He didnāt even flinch.Ā
I snickered, āBased on your lack of a reaction, I take it this isnāt the first time sheās done that.ā
He laughed and shook his head, āNope. Sheās a nosey little shit and thinks any sort of protein is for her. Especially chicken.āĀ
Zee watched intently over his shoulder as he worked. She stayed perched there as he moved to the sink to wash his hands. Afterwards, he leaned down, allowing her to jump down onto the counter so he could put the chicken in the oven.Ā
He turned toward me, moving to stand between my thighs as he rested his palms on the counter at my hips. His nose nudged against mine as he asked in a low voice that gave me goosebumps, āWould you rather have garlic and herb roasted potatoes or rice and cooked vegetables with your Greek Lemon Chicken?āĀ
I smiled against his lips, āYouāre making me Greek Lemon Chicken?āĀ
He nodded, āI amā¦What can I say? I love spoiling my girls.ā
My stomach felt topsy-turvy at his words. Hearing him say the word love in relation to me in any way had me feeling some kind of way. As he leaned in to kiss me, I felt tingly all over, realizing that I might actually be falling for himā¦hard. I had to beat back the small wave of panic I suddenly felt.Ā
He pulled away with a playful smile, āHopefully it doesnāt taste like shit. Iāve never made it before.āĀ
I laughed nervously as a new wave of emotions hit me once I realized he was learning to cook Greek food for me.
āYouāre trying Greek recipes for me, are ya?ā I asked teasingly in an attempt to distract myself.
He nodded, āI am. Just doing what I can to keep ya aroundā¦for Zeeās sake, of course. She needs a woman in her life.āĀ
I smiled even though my mind was racing with the implications of what he was saying. Was he feeling this as deeply as I was?Ā
āYeah, Iām sure itās all for her,ā I finally said with a chuckle.Ā
He shook his head, smiling as he leaned in for another soft kiss before adding, āYouāre right. Itās not. Iām one hundred percent whipped by you both.āĀ
He paused, huffing out a laugh as he threaded his fingers through my hair and briefly allowed his eyes to roam over my face. After inhaling deeply, he asked, āNow, what does my other girl want to eat with her chicken?āĀ
I took a moment to get lost in his chocolate colored eyes, taking in the crinkles around the edges from the small smile on his lips. I loved it when his eyes crinkled like that. Thatās how I knew his smile was genuine.Ā
āI think Iāll take the rice and veggies.āĀ
His hands moved to my hips, squeezing gently as he gave me a quick peck on the forehead. He pulled away with a smile, āAs you wishā¦Now, watch the culinary king create a masterpiece for your tastebuds.ā
He got to work, chopping the veggies. Zee came over to inspect, seeming intrigued by the spread, but ultimately decided it wasnāt for her and went to entertain herself with a fake mouse toy on the floor.Ā
Even though Dieter was occupied with his cooking duties, that didnāt make him any less attentive toward me. Conversation flowed and he made sure to continue his light touches and shared the occasional kiss as he moved around the kitchen. It was strangely romantic and intimate in a new way for me. I could see myself spending every evening like this with him. The fact that my mind was even going there scared me, worried that I was getting in too deep too fast. I somehow managed to bury that thought in the back of my mind each time he looked at me with his soft eyes and boyish smile.
Once the chicken was done, Zee turned into a little terrorist determined to get her share. I lost track of the number of times Dieter had to shoo her away while it was cooling. I couldnāt help laughing as those two had a near standoff over the cooked poultry. Because of Zeeās insistence, Dieter suggested that we eat on the patio since it had been such a nice day. That way we wouldn't have to deal with her ābrattyā behavior. I agreed with a chuckle.Ā
To keep her distracted, he made her dinner. She ate quietly in the corner as we made our plates and gathered everything we needed to move to the patio. Dieter made sure to hide the chicken away in the oven before we finally sat down to eat.Ā
The meal was amazing of course and I made sure to tell him as much. He acted smug over the complement, but that didnāt stop his cheeks from flushing a little. We were both relaxed, discussing the most random topics and getting to know each other just a little bit more. It was nice to be with him like this for a change - to hear his laughter and see him truly happy.Ā
After eating, Dieter insisted that I go relax while he cleaned up. He refused to have any other outcome. So, I made my way over to one of the loungers next to the fire pit and settled in. Dieter joined me a few minutes later, switching on the fire pit before reclining in the lounger beside me. He made a pouty face as he stuck out his arms, motioning for me to come sit with him. I chuckled as I stood, moving to sit between his spread thighs as he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me against his chest. He nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck, causing me to giggle from where his scruff tickled the sensitive skin.Ā
We sat like that for a time, just listening to the waves of the ocean and enjoying being in each other's embrace. It felt so easy with him. Almost too easy, which was a little concerning if I dwelled on it. I pushed that thought away, twisting so that I could look up at him. He gave me a soft smile, his eyes crinkling as he looked down at me and reached to cup my cheek.Ā
āIāve missed being able to do this the last few days,ā he finally said.Ā
I smirked, closing the distance between us and sucking on his bottom lip. He deepened the kiss as I shifted in his arms, moving to straddle his hips as he set up straighter and pulled me against him. Just as I felt him growing hard under me, he pulled away, brushing the hair back out of my face as he peered up at me. His eyes danced around my face with a sort of serene expression.Ā
āI donāt know that Iāve properly told you how fucking beautiful you are.āĀ
I gave him a dismissive laugh as my cheeks burned under his palms. He leaned in, pressing his forehead to mine, āStay with me tonight, please?āĀ
His voice was almost pleading as he asked. Something about the way he sounded tugged at my heart a bit. I smiled against his lips as I dipped my hands under the hem of his shirt to explore his chest.Ā
āI had already planned on it,ā I replied before kissing him again. He didnāt deepen it. Instead, he pulled away and nuzzled his face into my chest as he hugged me just a little tighter, āDonāt get any ideasā¦I just wanna cuddle. No funny business.āĀ
Something about his tone told me he wasnāt trying to be funny. He sounded serious, but I wasnāt sure. I scoffed jokingly, āHow presumptuous of you.āĀ
He was quiet for a beat, breathing me in. He finally pulled away with a smirk, āIām just teasing. I do mean it though, I donāt wanna do anything tonight. I just wanna be with you.āĀ
I gave him a confused look. Canāt say Iāve ever heard a guy say that before. He seemed unsure of himself suddenly, averting his gaze. I reached for his chin and tilted it toward me. āWhatās this about?ā I asked in a gentle tone. Something was obviously on his mind.Ā
He sighed, āYouāre probably gonna think Iām nutsā¦butā¦I donāt want this thing between us to just be about sex. I wanna spend time with youā¦get to know youā¦connect in other ways. You know what I mean? Youāre too important to me for it to turn into that. Iām still learning how to do this relationship thing and I wanna do it right.āĀ
I stared at him, a little dumbfounded and turned on by the fact that he didnāt want to have sex. What the hell is wrong with me?Ā
He grimaced, āPlease say something.āĀ
I huffed out a laugh, āIā¦Iām trying really hard not to be turned on by this.āĀ
He chuckled, āThat wasnāt my goal, but Iāll take it as a positive response.āĀ
I reached to run my fingers through his hair as I smiled over his smug look, āWhat planet did you come from?āĀ
He laughed and shrugged, pulling me back against him, his ear to my chest as my fingers scratched at his scalp. He hummed at the feeling, leaning into me much like a needy puppy does when you scratch just the right spot.Ā
Dieter was true to his word, not taking it any further even though I could tell parts of him wanted to. Instead, I ended up stretching out against him, cuddling as we watched the sunset and talked about the most random topics. There was lots of laughter, gentle kisses, and caresses throughout. It was refreshing. I couldnāt recall the last time Alec and I had spent time together like that, or if we ever really had. He was always so guarded about everything, which often left a lingering tension in the air between us. It never felt like that with Dieter. He had a way of making me feel at ease and content. He was always smiling and had such a playful and positive energy, it was hard not to match it.Ā
As the hour grew late, we finally made our way inside. I watched as Dieter moved through the downstairs to lock up and turn everything off. His last step of his nightly routine was to give Zee a snack of boiled chicken. I watched as she jumped up on the island and patiently waited for him to pull it out of the refrigerator. The āQueen Zeeās Fucking Chickenā label on the bowl caught my attention and made me snort in laughter as Dieter shredded small pieces and handed them over to her. When I asked what that was about, he shrugged and laughed, āEvan made that. Said something about her screaming at him over it. Theyāre both so dramatic, thereās no telling what actually went down.āĀ
After he washed his hands, he walked over to stand in front of me, placing his hands on my hips as he pulled me against him with a mischievous glint in his eye. āYou ready to go to bed?āĀ
I quirked an eyebrow at him, feeling like he was up to something. āI need to run out to the car to get my bag.āĀ
He pursed his lips, āEhh, Iāll go get it for you in the morning.ā
I smirked, āBut what will I sleep in?āĀ
He fought a smile, āYou can raid my closetā¦or wear nothing. Iām not picky.āĀ
I gave him an admonishing look, āI thought we were behaving?āĀ
He shrugged as a wide grin formed on his face, āWe are. Skin to skin cuddling for adults is a very healthy thing to do. It lowers cortisol levels and releases oxytocin. I fully support naked cuddling as a form of bonding.ā
I chuckled, āYouāre such a nerd, which is pleasantly surprisingā¦and kind of a turn onā¦āĀ
He laughed loudly, āIs there anything that isnāt a turn on for you today?ā
I leaned in, smiling against his lips before answering, āApparently notā¦āĀ
After giving me a quick kiss, without warning, he leaned down and hoisted me over his shoulder like a fucking caveman. I squealed as he laughed maniacally and made his way up the stairs, grabbing a generous handful of my ass as he went. Once in his room, he sat me down, still laughing as I playfully pushed him away from me.Ā
I turned to survey the room for the first time. It was the only room I hadnāt seen when he previously gave me a tour of his place. I wasnāt sure what I expected. It was similar to the rest of the house, clean with cream colored walls and bedding accented with deep earth tones. He had a few plants sitting around, my eyes automatically focusing in on the obnoxious penis cactus on one of his nightstands. I laughed and shook my head as I pointed at it, āArenāt you worried about grabbing that thing by mistake when youāre half asleep?ā
He chuckled, āNo, I donāt usually put anything on that side of the bedā¦buuut since youāre hereā¦Iāll move itā¦canāt have you gettinā confused and grabbing the wrong erection.āĀ
I cackled as I watched him move it from the nightstand to the dresser. I couldnāt help it. He had such a naughty sense of humor, and I loved it. Once he had it situated in just the right spot, he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward one of the other doors, which opened up to a massive bathroom. I couldnāt help admiring the tub. It looked heavenly. He followed my line of sight and chuckled, āI told you I had a hydrotherapy tub.ā
āWell, it would be less weird if I took advantage of that nowā¦obviously.āĀ
I could hear him snicker as he rummaged around in the linen closet, then pulled out a new toothbrush and handed it to me.Ā
I gave him a deadpan stare, āYou tryinā to tell me something?ā
He laughed, āNo! I just know youāre routine and I have extras.āĀ
He pulled the toothpaste out of a drawer, put a dab on his brush then stuck it in his mouth. He passed the tube to me once I got the toothbrush out of the packaging. I watched him dig around in another drawer and pull out a hairbrush. It sort of shocked me when he moved to stand at my back and began running it through my hair, completely neglecting the toothbrush that was hanging from his mouth. After sitting the hairbrush down, his fingers got to work, struggling a bit at first, but eventually working the strands into a simple braid. Once he got to the bottom, he reached for my wrist with his free hand and pulled the hair tie off it to twist around the end of the braid. I watched in the mirror as he stood back and rather smugly admired his handy work as he began to brush his teeth.Ā
After spitting some of the toothpaste out, I turned to him, āAre you trying to ruin me for all other men, Bravo?Ā
He smirked, āNo, not intentionallyā¦but is it working?ā
āThe jury is still out on thatā¦āĀ
Once we finished brushing our teeth, I followed him into his closet, which was just as ridiculous as his bathroom.Ā
āFucking hell, this is bigger than my bedroom,ā I said as I looked around. āWhy do you need such a big closet? Itās not even one third of the way full,ā I asked with a disbelieving laugh.Ā
He shrugged, āI donāt, it just came with the house.ā He pursed his lips in thought and gave me an odd look before adding, āRoom to grow I guess.āĀ
I felt like he was insinuating something, but I wasnāt sure. Instead, I rolled my eyes as I walked over to the stacks of folded t-shirts on a shelf. I could feel his eyes on me as I flipped through them, smiling over some of the funnier ones. Keeping my back to him, I reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. I could hear his breath hitch as I reached back to unhook my bra and allowed it to fall to the floor. I then slid my leggings down, standing there in nothing but my black underwear as I plucked one of his t-shirts from the stack and put it on.Ā
When I turned toward him, he was standing there staring at me with his arms crossed and an amused expression on his face. I held my hands out with palms up, āWell, whatta ya think? Fits perfectly, no?ā
He tucked his bottom lip between his teeth as he stared at me, hesitating before allowing his eyes to sweep down my body. He reached up and scratched at his chin, āFucking is my cardioā¦really? Thatās the one you went for?āĀ
I laughed, looking down at the shirt, āI think maybe we need to update itā¦cross out āfuckingā and write in ādancingā above it?ā
He shook his head as he slowly walked toward me. His voice low, almost teasing, āOh no, fucking is definitely still part of my cardio routineā¦though I donāt believe Iāve fucked you properly yet. Iāve taken a moreā¦sensual approach so farā¦which Iāve found I actually kind of prefer.āĀ
Our eyes were locked as he reached to cup my cheek, āSomehow youāve managed to bring out that side of me for the first time everā¦and Iām enjoying it more than I thought I could.ā
His intense gaze, sultry tone, and sudden vulnerability had me involuntarily clenching my thighs together. The effect he had on my body was insane. I no longer had any control over it.Ā
āAre you trying to test my limits right now? Because if you are, Iām very close to failingā¦āĀ
He laughed as he leaned in to give me a chaste kiss, āCome on honey, let's get you in bed.ā
I groaned in protest as he tugged me along behind him toward the bed. After pulling the covers back, he motioned for me to climb in, smacking my ass as I did so - which definitely didnāt do anything to help my current state of arousal. I settled in on my back as he stripped down to his boxer briefs, then turned off the light. After climbing into bed beside me, he tangled his legs with mine. His hand sought out the hem of his t-shirt that I was wearing, snaking up under it to rest around my middle after he pulled me closer to his chest. He nestled his face into the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply then sighing in contentment.Ā
Moments later, the foot of the bed dipped as Zee jumped up onto it. Dieter sucked air through his teeth, āOooh shit. We may have a problem hereā¦āĀ
I chuckled, āWhyās that?ā
āYouāre in her spotā¦ā
āOh, that is problematicā¦ā
Zee made her way up the bed, then sat beside me as her tail whipped back and forth. I could feel her eyes on us as she surveyed the current sleeping arrangements. She let out a loud meow as I reached to pet her, hoping to keep peace. I felt Dieter suck in a deep breath and hold it while he waited to see how she would respond. She was still as a statue until I found just the right spot behind her ear. She leaned into the scratches as her eyes drifted shut. She seemed satisfied with my offering, finally moving to snuggle into the crook of my arm opposite Dieter.Ā
Dieter huffed out a relieved laugh against my neck, āThat was nerve wracking. I thought she was about to battle it out with you.āĀ
I snickered, āHonestly, I thought so too. Good thing I'm comfortable because it doesn't look like Iām moving anytime soonā¦ā
I felt his rumbling laugh against my neck as he shifted, leaning up to give me a chaste kiss goodnight. It wasnāt long before he was asleep, his mouth opened slightly as he snored quietly. Once my eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, I could just make out his features from the moonlight streaming in through the windows. His face looked almost childlike as the creases between his brows relaxed and disappeared. His messy curls hung down over his face, adding to the effect. I found myself wondering what he looked like when he was little, wondering if his aquiline nose had the same pronounced curve or if it developed that way over time. He really was beautiful, even with his patchy beard that never seemed to fully grow and slightly graying hair.Ā
I took some time reflecting on the last several days. Dieter had been so attentive toward me, making sure that I was taken care of and always checking in about my feelings. He had also shown me his vulnerable side several times. I couldnāt believe that he was open about his fears with SNL, admitting how nervous he was the night of the performance. That was something Alec never would have done out of fear that he would look weak. This didnāt make Dieter seem weak to me though. If anything, it showed me how emotionally mature he was and his willingness to be open with me. He really surprised me with that.Ā
Then there were the moments in his dressing room before the show when it was just us, laughing and enjoying each otherās company. Not being afraid to be ourselves out of fear of judgment. He was so unapologetically himself with me and I loved that about him. I loved that he trusted me enough to show his soft and goofy side. He appeared to be welcoming me into his life with open arms and holding nothing back.
I couldnāt help letting my mind wander to all of his past relationships, if that was even the right word. Maybe the term āhookupsā was more appropriate? I thought of that actress, Sophie, whatever her name was. A petite redhead with big breasts and a tiny waist. It was hard not to compare myself to her. We were completely different physically. Dieter had said that he wasnāt interested in her, but he had obviously been attracted to something about her at one point.Ā
I wondered if maybe she was adventurous in bed, if that was the kind of thing he was into? I had never really been like that with anyone, which did worry me some. I couldnāt help thinking that he might eventually get bored with me because I clearly wasnāt like any of these people we had encountered that he had a history with. It didnāt mean that I couldnāt be that way though. There was something about him that made me want to try.
Dieter had a way of making me feel brazen. I could tell he liked it when I was like that, open about how my body reacted to him while teasing his. I enjoyed getting a rise out of him, which only emboldened me further. Maybe thatās all I really needed to hold his attention? To show him that he was wanted. Ā
It wasnāt like it was hard for me to show how much I wanted him when he does the things that he does. Things like standing there on a nationally televised stage in his ridiculous āPlant Daddyā t-shirt that I had bought for him that happened to fit just perfectly across his chest and snugly around his broad shoulders and sculpted arms as he asked me if I wanted to have sex with him. He was completely unconcerned that we were surrounded by dozens of people, mics, and cameras. Not to mention how he changed up that line in his monologue. He liked to push the limits too and he did it because he knew it got a rise out of me.Ā
All of the teasing between us had turned into a mind-blowing evening once we got back to the hotel. He didnāt hesitate to let me take charge or to be open with me about his desires. There was no guessing with him, he was willing to show me what he liked while also allowing me to try my own thing without making me feel like I was doing something wrong. We worked together, exploring and learning each other's bodies and discovering new things about ourselves in the process.Ā
Watching Dieter come undone beneath me felt empowering. It actually helped my confidence where it had been so brutally damaged by Alec, often making me feel like our less than satisfying sex life was my fault. Dieter helped me realize it wasnāt and allowed me to find that side of myself again. Seeing him writhing in pleasure because of me, watching his eyes dilate and blow wide as he took in my naked body, it unleashed something in me. Knowing that there was no way he could possibly fake the reaction his body was having to me as he gasped for air through clenched teeth and completely lost his senses should have been enough to calm the unsettling feeling that was suddenly creeping into my gut. It should have been enough to silence my doubts.Ā
I reasoned with myself that any doubt I was having was because of Alec and the emotional damage he had caused. Dieter was not Alec. He was nothing like him. He made that perfectly clear when he found the vibrator then proceeded to use it as we had sex the following morning. He took his time, asking and learning how I liked it. Then blew my fucking mind. Again, showing me how attentive he was and making sure we both enjoyed the experience. Not at all selfish like Alec.Ā
It wasnāt even really about the sex or the mind blowing orgasms he somehow managed to draw out of me. It went deeper than that. Through all of it, I could feel an emotional connection with him. It was strong enough that it made my heart feel like it was beating out of my chest. He was already bonding with me in ways that Alec never even tried to. If nothing else settled my doubts, then that should. He told me this meant something to him, and I knew he believed in what he said.Ā
I also had to consider how protective Dieter had been, even before the dressing room incident. Going so far as to make sure my locks got changed so Alec couldnāt get into the house. He had also put himself between me and the paparazzi at the airport, essentially putting himself in the line of fire. He didnāt have to do any of that. It was obvious he cared about me, and I had no reason to doubt what we were building. Ā
I now knew I was falling hard and fast for him, and it scared the hell out of me. I couldnāt help being worried about being hurt again, especially after what I had just gone through with Alec. I knew if something went wrong with Dieter, it was going to hurt ten times worse because things had been going so well between us. I knew I needed to stop thinking this way because I had no reason to. I was getting into my head about it. He cared about me and was putting in the work to prove it. That was enough. Ā
As I glanced back down at his perfectly handsome face, my doubts vanished. He was here with me now, in his bed after asking me to stay. Heās allowing me into parts of his life no one else has been before. He wants me to be part of it.Ā
Those were my last thoughts as I finally drifted off to sleep.Ā
Dieterās POV
On Wednesday morning I awoke to the feeling of Katās fingertips drawing circles on my bare skin. I could feel my heartbeat speed up under her touch, relishing in how amazing it felt to wake up to her wrapped around me in my bed. She was laying with her head against my chest and one leg hitched over mine. Zee had somehow managed to worm her way in between my spread legs and was sprawled out on her back, snoring softly.Ā
I laid there unmoving as I took in the sight before me so that I could commit it to memory. I couldnāt remember ever waking up feeling as complete and happy as I did in that moment. It was something that I had longed for and didnāt even think possible. I felt like my life was finally beginning to turn into what I had always wanted. If this was going to be my new normal, I knew I could die a happy man.Ā
Kat surprised me with a sleepy āgood morningā as she continued to draw circles along my stomach.Ā
I smiled, āHowād you know I was awake?ā
She shifted, propping her chin on her hand to look at me with a smile, āYouāre breathing changedā¦and I could hear your heart rate pick up.ā
I chuckled as I reached to push away the loose strands of hair from her face. āI like waking up to you in my bed more than I realized I would,ā I confessed.Ā
She smiled as she leaned into my touch, āI liked waking up in your bed more than I realized I would, too.āĀ
I sighed, āI canāt wait until we have a day off so we can stay here all day.ā
āHmmm that does sound amazing. Sign me up.āĀ
I glanced over at the clock, realizing the alarm would be going off soon.
āHows about I go make you a quick breakfast before you go to rehearsal?ā I asked.Ā
She groaned, āUgh, I donāt wanna go. The whole cast is probably gonna be all weird and judgy now.āĀ
My lips set into a tight line, āIs Alec supposed to be there?ā
She shook her head, āNo, I donāt think so. According to the schedule they sent over they have the two groups rehearsing at different times.āĀ
āWell, thatās a relief. Doesnāt mean he wonāt be lurking around though. Just please be careful. I still donāt trust that asshole.ā
She smiled, āDonāt worry, Marc will be there. Iām sure heāll keep an eye on me.ā
I nodded, feigning a stern look, āHe better.ā
She laughed, āHe willā¦donāt worry.āĀ
I watched as her eyes explored my face before she asked, āSo, what do you have planned this morning?āĀ
I grimaced, āWell, I have an appointment with my therapist for what Iām sure will be a very interesting session. Her head may explodeā¦āĀ
āOoof. Are you gonna tell her about us?ā
My hand found the hem of the t-shirt she was still wearing and pulled it upwards so that I could run my fingers along her spine as I took a moment to think about it.Ā
āWell, I know sheās gonna ask how New York went. Sheās been very curious about our relationship from the beginningā¦āĀ
Kat smirked, āOh really? And whyās that?āĀ
I chewed on my lip as heat crept into my cheeks. Oh well, no sense in hiding it now.Ā
āAside from the fact that I was actually building a friendship with someone new, I think she could sense that I was attracted to you. I did eventually fess up to it in one of our more recent sessions.ā
Her smile widened, āYouāve been talking to your therapist about me this whole time?ā
I swallowed thickly and nodded, āYes. Does that bother you?ā
She shook her head, āNoā¦not at all. What does she say about me?ā
I chuckled, āIām pretty sure sheās a closet Deiterina Stanā¦ā
Kat laughed loudly at that. I knew it would get her.Ā
Once she settled, I continued, āIām only half joking. Sheāsā¦actually been very positive and supportive of our friendship and encouraged me to tell you how I was feeling once I realized it. She thinks youāre a positive influence and good for me. I tend to agree with that assessment.āĀ
Her brows furrowed as her eyes turned glassy. She pulled herself upwards to lean in closer for a needy kiss. I deepened it before she pulled away, slightly breathless as she smiled down at me.Ā
āIām actually happy she feels that way. I was a bit worried she would think itās too soon for you to pursue anything.āĀ
I hugged her tighter against me, āNa, Iām in a good place. Really. Iām nearly ten months sober. Sheās been happy with my progress. Especially since I started the showā¦itās kept me busy and gave me a little more purposeā¦and you.āĀ
She smiled, leaning in for another kiss just as my alarm went off. That was Zeeās cue to get up, stretching her legs outward as she made her way up the bed to greet us while I turned to shut the alarm off. After a few minutes of kitty snuggles, we finally got out of bed. I ran to Katās car to get her bag out so she could get ready for the professionals morning rehearsal while I made us a quick breakfast of bacon, eggs, and toast. I was rinsing a small bowl of fruit off when she walked into the kitchen with a smile, coming up behind me to wrap her arms around my waist and giving me a peck on the cheek.Ā
āNeed help with anything?ā she asked as she rested her chin against my shoulder.Ā
I shook my head as I shut the water off, āNope, just finishing up actually.āĀ
When I turned around, I found Zee stealthily inching down the counter toward the plate of bacon. I sighed, shooing her away while muttering about her being nothing but a pain in the ass as Kat laughed. I then realized Kat was still wearing my āFucking is my cardioā t-shirt, only she had tied it into a knot in the back and added some leggings to go with it. Something about the thought of her wearing my clothes in public made my dick twitch.Ā
I gave her a flirty smirk, āYouāre here one night and youāre already stealing my clothes and wearing them in public.ā
She shrugged, āYouāll get over it. Besides, if they want to stare and gossip during rehearsals, might as well give them something to look at. Maybe Someone will tell Alec that I suddenly have a proclivity for fucking.ā
I snorted out a laugh. That certainly wasnāt the response I was expecting, but I fucking loved it.Ā
āThis might be a sign youāre spending too much time with meā¦but Iām not complaining. I also like the thought of you being in my clothes when Iām not around. Itās kind of sexyā¦āĀ
She gave me a sly smile, āGood. You can think about that while youāre telling your therapist how I rode you senseless when we were in New York.āĀ
I nearly choked on my own spit as she turned to pile food on her plate with the devious grin still on her face.
āYouāve definitely been spending too much time with me, but I like it,ā I finally said through a laugh, suddenly feeling incredibly turned on by her dirty sense of humor. I gave her a grabby pat on the ass before turning my attention to breakfast. We ate quickly and in silence because Kat needed to get to the dance studio. After a rather passionate goodbye kiss and ear scratches for Zee, she was on her way with a promise to see me for our evening rehearsal.Ā
I couldnāt stop smiling over how our morning had gone as I got ready for and drove to my therapy session. I really hoped this would be our new normal because it was everything. If every day started this way thereās no way I would ever go back to my dark place.Ā
Dr. Smith seemed to sense my good mood as soon as I sat down across from her. She gave me a genuine smile as she asked how I was feeling today.Ā
I had to work hard to wipe the goofy grin off my face as I responded, āIāmā¦good today.ā
Her eyes scanned over me, briefly stopping on my clasped hands in my lap. My hands were still, but my thumbs were going to war with each other as I struggled to find something to do with my excess energy.Ā
She narrowed her eyes slightly as they finally met mine. Her head tilted to the side, āSo, how did New York go?ā
Fuck. Am I that transparent? She totally knows. I laughed nervously, āI mean, it wentā¦good. SNL went really well. I seem to be back on good terms with the cast. They wanna have me back sometime, so thatās excitingā¦It was a lot of work with all the rehearsals for both shows, but we survived it.āĀ
She pursed her lips, tilting her head the opposite direction as she studied me. āHow did things go with Kat?āĀ
And there it is. Getting right to it. āUmmm, good. It was nice to get away from all the drama that LA brings with it. We had a good time.āĀ
She smiled, āGood again, huh? Everything is justā¦good?ā
I grimaced, now scratching at my beard as I thought how best to respond. She didnāt give me the chance.Ā
āI saw the open mic videos that are circulating online. You wanna tell me about those?ā
Fuck fuck fuck. I shrugged, āWellā¦thereās not much to tell. We went out with the SNL cast and got roped into doing it.āĀ
She nodded, āAnd your performance on Monday?ā
I just stared at her. I didnāt know where she was going with this. I knew she was doing that thing where she talked me into a hole that I couldnāt dig myself out of. I shrugged as I gave her a hesitant smile, āWhat about it?ā
She gave me a soft smile, āDieter, Iām not blind. I can tell something has changed between you and Kat since I saw you last. Did you tell her how you were feeling?ā
The pressure was getting to me. I sighed before blurting out in a rush, āOk fine we had sex.āĀ
More word vomit. I didnāt have to tell her that part. Fucking hell Bravo.Ā
Her eyes widened as she leaned back in the chair, digesting what I had just said.Ā
āOk, well, I wasnāt expecting thatā¦ I thought maybe you just had a conversation.ā
I started squeezing and unsqueezing my hands into fists over and over, now feeling like I had done something wrong. It was one of my nervous ticks. She noticed it immediately.Ā
She held out her hand and placed it atop mine, āPlease relax. Iām not upset with you. Just tell me what happened.āĀ
I puffed air out of my cheeks, āWellā¦the studio had us sharing a suite. So, we were together almost every second of the day while we were there. By the end of the weekā¦there was just a crazy tension between us. She had ended things with Alec before we left, so I was feeling a little more confident about putting myself out there and I did. It was after the open mic thingā¦we were rehearsing our dance on the terrace of our suite. The tension had kind of reached a boiling point by then and she kissed me. It went on from thereā¦I let her lead things.ā
Her brows arched, āSo she kissed you then you had sex?āĀ
I nodded, suddenly feeling I had maybe slipped into old habits and handled things with Kat all wrong.
āI made sure first you knowā¦that she knew that it meant something to me. I told her and asked her if she was sure. We talked after and I stayed with her that night. It happened a couple more times before we came back to LA.ā
Her brows furrowed. Yeah, this doesnāt sound good, Bravo.Ā
āFuckā¦it was different with her, ok? Weā¦ugh fuck.ā I rubbed at the bridge of my nose. I was getting a headache.Ā
āWe had a connection. It wasā¦emotional and intimateā¦it wasnāt just sex.āĀ
She arched a brow at me to continue.Ā
I sighed, āWe havenāt had sex since weāve been back. She stayed with me last night and I told her I didnāt want toā¦that I didnāt want it to be about that. I swear, Iām trying really hard to do this the right way. I really do care about her. I just donāt know what the fuck Iām doing.āĀ Ā Ā
Dr. Smith held a neutral expression, not giving me anything when she asked, āWhat did you do last night?ā
The question took me by surprise, āUmmā¦well we had rehearsal most of the day. Then we went to my place, and I cooked dinner for her. We sat outside in a lounger by the fire pit afterā¦talking and watching the sunset. Then we went to bed.āĀ
She narrowed her eyes, āSo, you two slept in the same bed?ā
I nodded, āYeah, she slept with me and my cat.āĀ
āAnd you didnāt have sex?ā
I shook my head, āNo. Just cuddled.āĀ
Her eyebrow ticked upward slightly, āAnd what about this morning? How did things go? Any of the awkwardness you always worry about?ā
I shook my head, āNo. We spent a few minutes cuddling and talking about our dayā¦then snuggled the cat. I made breakfast while she got readyā¦ we ateā¦she kissed me and Zee goodbye then left for the studio.ā
Dr. Smith chewed on the inside of her cheek, almost looking like she was fighting a smile. I wasnāt sure if that was good or bad. She was making me so fucking anxious. She leaned forward, placing an elbow on her knee, āHow much have you told her about your feelings?āĀ
Again, not the question I expected. She was confusing the fuck out of me.
āI- ummā¦didnāt tell her exactly how I feelā¦only that I have feelings for her. I didnāt wanna throw the āLā word out this soon and freak her out, ya know?āĀ
She nodded, āAnd how did you feel after she left this morning?āĀ
I looked down at my fisted hands in my lap. They relaxed some as that goofy uncontrollable grin slid across my face.Ā
āI feltā¦happy. I would give anything to have all my mornings be like thatā¦and my nights. Being with her makes me feelā¦aliveā¦and complete.āĀ
I was suddenly overcome with an overwhelming feeling that caused my eyes to prickle with the threat of tears. It was good tears though.
Dr. Smith smiled, āI think youāve made more progress than you realize. It seems youāve gotten your impulsive tendencies under control and Iām happy to see youāre working on your aversion to intimacy. All of this time that youāre spending with Kat talking, touching, learningā¦without involving sexā¦is the type of intimacy that you need and what youāve been denying yourself of for so long. Iām proud of you for realizing that and following through with it. I can tell that having this kind of connection to someone is changing you for the better. You seem more confident and open about your feelings which can only aid you in creating a solid foundation with her.ā
I was a little stunned at her praise. Any anxiety or doubts I had quickly dissipated.
She continued, āGiven that, I do want to make sure you're expanding this growth to others in your life. I donāt want your happiness to depend on Kat. I want you to have happiness in the rest of your relationships too. Continue to build up your support system and bond with each of them.āĀ
I nodded, āIāve been tryingā¦not that I have a very big circle right nowā¦but those relationships feel strong. Itās been nice having Evan back on board. Weāve patched things up pretty well I think.ā
She nodded, āThatās good to hear. Iām happy that it's been working out so well with him.āĀ
She paused, seeming unsure about where she wanted to go next. She finally asked, āI assume you and Kat are keeping your relationship to yourselves?āĀ
I nodded, āYeahā¦because of Alec.ā
āHow have things been with him since you guys got back from New York?āĀ
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, āUhhā¦not good. We hadā¦another confrontation on Monday after the show.āĀ
Her brows furrowed, āWhat kind of confrontation?āĀ
I sighed, āHe was waiting for Kat in her dressing room and attacked herā¦One of the other couples came to get me after they saw him. When I finally got in, he was choking her. I shoved him off herā¦ā
I really didnāt want to get into the rest of it because I knew where this conversation was going.
āWhat happened after that?ā Dr. Smith prodded.
I puffed air out of my cheeks knowing she wasnāt going to let it go. My hands fisted in my lap again. I could feel my fingernails digging into the palms of my hands.Ā
āI uhhh, I pinned him on the floor and hit him a few timesā¦then tried to strangle himā¦I think. Iām not really sure what I was doing or thinkingā¦I kind of blacked out in a blind rage when I saw what he was doing to Kat.āĀ
Her lips set into a tight line, āWhat stopped you?āĀ
I stared at my clenched fists, āOne of the other dancers pulled me off him.ā
āDid Kat go to the police?āĀ
I shook my head, āNo. She was worried the police report would get out to the media. Sheās not wrong, it probably wouldāve. She said I scared the shit out of himā¦so she doesnāt think heāll try anything like that again.āĀ
Dr. Smith gave me an empathetic look, āThatās never happened with you before, has it?ā
I shook my head, āI mean, I went off on my dad a few timesā¦but thatās it. Iām not a violent person.āĀ
She nodded, āI know youāre notā¦which is why Iām concerned about how that incident affected you. Did it trigger any type of trauma response?āĀ
I canāt fucking do this. āCan we just not go there today? Iām having a good day. I donāt wanna ruin itā¦ā
She nodded, āYeah, we can save it for next week if you want. So long as itās not triggering anything.āĀ
I shook my head, āNo, not actively.āĀ
āOk. Next week then.āĀ
We didnāt have much time left after that. We spent the last few minutes catching up on everything that happened in New York then called it a day. As I walked to the car, I chose to focus on the positive parts of that session, because I knew dwelling on the stuff about my past would sour my good mood quickly.Ā
Just as I arrived back at the house, my phone lit up with a call from my agent, Lenny.Ā
āHey Lenny, whatās up?ā I asked as I answered.Ā
There was a brief moment of crackling static on the other end, āHey D, I just wanted to check in and see how things are going?āĀ
āEverythingās fine, why?ā These ācheck inā calls always put me on edge. They usually meant I was about to be in trouble over something.Ā
āNo reason. I just wanted to catch up and let you know that weāve gotten a lot of positive feedback about SNL. Itās definitely catching peopleās attention. So is the feedback from the cast. Theyāre singing your praises.āĀ
I couldnāt fight my smile. It made me feel good to hear something positive in relation to my work for once.Ā
āThatās actually nice to hear. I had a lot of fun working with them this time around. They kept me very involved with every step. I really enjoyed it.āĀ
āI really think this is the beginning of things turning around for your career. We just gotta keep that positive buzz going, ya know? Youāve been doing really well, and I think this helped people see that. You were really on top of your game Saturday. The fans are loving the dancing stuff too by the way. Pairing you with Kat has worked out well.āĀ Ā
My smile widened as I rubbed the back of my neck, āYeah, Katās been great. I love working with her. Iām glad you talked me into doing the showā¦itās been a lot of fun.āĀ
Lenny cleared his throat nervously, āSpeaking of Katā¦I saw those videos of you two singing togetherā¦āĀ
My brows furrowed. I wasnāt sure where this was going.
āOooK? And?ā I asked.Ā
āWell, the agency has noticed that those videos are getting a lot of attentionā¦do you think she would be open to doing more stuff like that? For publicity?āĀ
I sighed, frustrated by the turn in conversation. āIām not gonna use Kat for publicity for my career.ā
Lenny chuckled, āArenāt you kind of doing that already?āĀ
I got out of my car and began pacing the driveway, āThe only thing I want her involved in is publicity for the show that we are working on together. I wonāt ask her for more than thatā¦or trick her into doing anything more than that. Iām not gonna take advantage of her in that way.āĀ
Lenny sighed, āFineā¦OK. I get it. It doesnāt have to be with her though. Maybe you could do some Instagram Lives again and sing a little. The fans would eat that shit up.āĀ
I rolled my eyes, āYeah, I dunno about that, Len. I would feel awkward.āĀ
Lenny huffed into the phone, āD, you used to do them all the time. Whatās the big deal?āĀ
I paused my pacing and ran my hand down my face, āThe big deal is that I was usually cracked out of my mind and acting like a fool. I didnāt give two shits about how it looked or what people thought about my psychotic rants or partying. Iām not that guy anymore.āĀ
āThatās exactly WHY you should do it. Show the world the NEW Dieter Bravo. If itās what the fans want, give it to them.āĀ
I sighed, āSo you want me to do Lives and sing? Seriously?āĀ
āFuck yes. Sing, play your guitarā¦hell, Iād settle for watching you re-pot a plantā¦get creative like I know you can be. We need to start getting you out there more. Your fan base is growing like crazy thanks to the ballroom dance shit, so we need to take advantage of that and keep them hooked.āĀ
This was making me anxious. I needed to end the conversation. āIāll think about it, OK? I dunno how I feel about it.āĀ
Lenny sighed, āFine, think about itā¦but just do it. And if Kat happens to be involved in any way, the agency will not complainā¦just so you know.āĀ
I scoffed, āFuck off with that. I told you, Iām not using her for that shit.āĀ
Lenny chuckled, āOKā¦ fine, fine. Look, Iāve gotta go to a meeting. Iāll check back in with you in a few days.āĀ
I rolled my eyes again, āYeah, you go do that. Talk soon. Bye.āĀ
I didnāt give him a chance to respond before I hung up. I was beyond annoyed with him after that conversation. I shook my head as I walked inside, deciding not to give the topic any more thought.Ā
Kat and I had our late rehearsal that afternoon. She brought in some props for us to use like we planned so that it would be a little more authentic and not just us pretending to remove pieces of clothing and dancing around non-existent furniture throughout the routine, because yes, we were totally going there. This performance was definitely going to push some boundaries, and we were one hundred percent rolling with it because why the fuck not?Ā
Once we were done for the day, Kat came back to my place. We had leftovers for dinner then spent the rest of our time cuddling and talking. Our evening went basically the same as the previous one. We seemed to be settling into a routine of sorts. I loved getting to know her like this, laughing with her, and watching her with Zee. I couldnāt have asked for anyone more perfect for me if I tried.Ā
Thursday was filming day. We of course had to watch ourselves, especially with the sexiness of this weekās dance. I tried to keep things light with jokes and just making a general ass of myself. My nonsense started when Kat left the room for a quick bathroom break. I put on the long flowy wrap skirt with a Velcro closure that she was using to rehearse in. When she returned, she was greeted by me swishing around the room. I briefly paused, giving her a dainty curtsy complete with a raised pinky, which caused her to wheeze in laughter. The rehearsal was nothing but fits of giggles after that, especially when I struggled through some of the more complicated lift combos and when we tripped over each otherās feet during the intertwining leg moves that Kat had us doing. Even the film crew was having a hard time keeping it together. I could only hope it came across as two friends having fun and struggling to be serious with a sexy dance rather than two people who were in a secret relationship and doing far more intimate things in their spare time.Ā
Kat came home with me again that night. I encouraged her to relax on the couch as I made dinner for us. Zee joined her, stretching out for belly rubs while she waited to be fed too. Kat hadnāt said anything, but I could tell she wasnāt feeling that well. I couldnāt help worrying that the long hours of dancing were getting to her. I needed to do better about making sure she was taking care of herself. I didnāt want her to neglect her self-care because she was spending too much time with me. Even if that meant I had to take care of her myself.Ā
After she crawled into bed that night, I took a few minutes to do just that. I started with a foot massage, taking special care to avoid that certain spot that I knew would get her worked up. It wasnāt about that tonight. I just wanted her to relax and find some relief for her aching joints. I eventually moved up to her calf and worked my way up from there before switching to the other leg.Ā
She watched me intently for a time. Eventually settling back into the pillows and humming to herself as she closed her eyes. As my hand slid up to the upper half of her leg and began to massage there, the slight pressing together of her thighs didnāt go unnoticed. I chuckled quietly as my fingertips kneaded a little deeper into the meaty area.Ā
She sighed, āI know youāre not purposely trying to, but youāre torturing meā¦just a little bit.āĀ
I laughed, moving both hands to her hip to massage there. āI can tell. My apologies. Iāll avoid the inner thigh next time.āĀ
She hummed in satisfaction, āNext time? Youāre spoiling me, you know that right? Iām ruined.āĀ
I smiled, crawling up her body to bury my face in her chest and inhale her intoxicating citrus and plum scent that I never seemed to get enough of. āGood. Thatās my goal. You deserve it.āĀ
Her hands tangled in my hair as her nails gently scratched my scalp. We sat like that in a comfortable silence. Just feeling each other. The warmth of her skin and the steady thump of her heartbeat under my ear lulled me into a stupor, making me feel calm and peaceful. The gaping hole that I had felt in my heart for most of my life now seemed nonexistent and it was because of her. I no longer felt like I was lost. I was home.Ā
My arms tightened against her sides as I considered that thought, suddenly feeling an overwhelming sense of relief that had a lump forming in my throat. I took a few deep breaths, pushing the tears away that were threatening to seep out. I wanted to tell her how I was feeling, but I held it back - still afraid that it was too soon.Ā
When I raised my head to meet her gaze, my chest felt like it was going to burst over how fucking perfect she was. I wasnāt sure what my expression held, but she picked up on my emotional state causing her fingers to still their movements. Her brows pinched together. āYou OK?ā she asked.Ā
I had to clear the lump away in my throat before I spoke. āYeahā¦Iām just getting tired. You ready to go to bed?āĀ
Her eyes searched my face for a brief moment before she nodded and withdrew her arms from around my shoulders so I could get up to switch off the light. Afterward, I crawled back into the bed, settling in at her back before pulling her body snugly against my front. She drifted off quickly, her breathing slowing as she relaxed further into me. I had a harder time finding sleep that night as my thoughts ran wild with possibilities for our future. There was no question about it, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and I wanted it to start now. However, I knew that was my impulsive nature talking. I needed to take this slow and continue to follow her lead. If this was going to work, it needed to be on her timeline, not mine.
Friday morning Kat awoke feeling groggy and stiff. I had a feeling she felt worse than she let on, but she insisted she would be alright once she started moving around. I got up to get a hot shower going while she took a few minutes to do some gentle stretches. She joined me afterward, yawning before snaking her arms around my waist and leaning against my chest as she stood under the hot spray.Ā
My fingers went to her hair, working the water through it until it was saturated. My hands then found their way to her face, cupping her cheeks as I took in her expression.Ā
āAre you sure youāre feeling OK? Maybe we should cut our rehearsal time down today?ā
She shrugged, āWeāll see how it goes. Iām just having a slow startā¦I think.ā
I sighed, āIf you need a break today I think it would be OK. Weāve got it down pretty good so farā¦ā
She put a finger over my lips to silence me, āIām feeling better already. Relax.ā
I rolled my eyes and nodded, dropping the subject and focused my attention on washing her hair. She did seem to be feeling better by the time we were done showering, which helped alleviate some of my concern. However, a few hours into rehearsal, it was clear she was running out of steam. The occasional wince and constant shifting on her feet told me she was uncomfortable and most likely having joint pain.Ā
By the time we were down to our last hour and a half of studio time, I called it. She protested as I sat down on the floor with my arms and legs crossed like a petulant child and refused to do anything else. She finally relented and started packing up as she reluctantly admitted she was feeling like shit. I wanted to take her home with me and take care of her, but she wasnāt having it. She decided instead to go to her house and āsleep it offā. I wasnāt happy about it but agreed. I was saddened by the fact that she wouldnāt allow me to help in any way and also by the fact that she wouldnāt be staying with me that night. I was already getting used to having her in my bed. The mere thought of her not being there was already making me feel anxious.Ā
I ended up breaking our self-imposed rules and pulled her into the small one person bathroom as we were about to leave. I needed to feel her, if only for a brief moment before we parted for the evening. She scolded me, but that didnāt stop her from wrapping her arms around my neck as I leaned in for a fiery kiss. It helped dampen my anxiousness, but it was only temporary.Ā
Once we finally broke apart, she exited the bathroom and scanned the area for any nosey onlookers. Finding none, she gave me the all clear to come out behind her. We said our polite goodbyes after that. Then we were on our way to our respective homes.Ā
The anxious feeling quickly returned when I walked into my house alone. I had to keep myself busy catching up on some much needed plant care in an attempt to drown out the lonely feeling that kept creeping in. Even Zee seemed to be moping around, lacking her usual enthusiasm for dinner and play time.Ā
The minutes seemed to be dragging on painfully slow as I ran out of things to keep me occupied. I ended up spending the rest of the evening in my studio working on one of the several paintings I had started of my new muse. It was nearing midnight when I finally decided to go to bed, even though I was still feeling amped up. I really wanted to text Kat and see how she was feeling, but didnāt want to chance waking her up if she was asleep. It was almost maddening.Ā
My sleep that night was restless. I had tossed and turned so much that Zee got mad and left the bedroom. I felt groggy when the alarm woke me from my light sleep the next morning. I was staring at the ceiling and feeling almost ridiculous over the fact that not having Kat here was affecting me this much when my phone pinged. I couldnāt help smiling when I saw her name pop up on the screen. I grabbed my phone, realizing I had a few texts from random numbers that I didnāt even bother to look at. Hers was the only one I cared about.
Kit Kat: I should have just gone home with you. Your bed is so much more comfortable than mine. š
My smile widened as I hit the call button.
Her voice was muffled when she answered, like she had her face buried in a pillow. I chuckled, āThanks for the tip, honey. Now I know what argument to use next time.āĀ
She huffed, āShush you. I didnāt wanna be a burden.ā
I sighed knowing that was probably the way Alec often made her feel, āYouāre never a burden. Iād just put your ass to bed and go downstairs so you could sleep. Problem solved.ā
She laughed as I continued, āORā¦orā¦Iād crawl into bed and sleep it off with you. A little extra sleep never hurt anyone. Seriously though, are you feeling better?ā
I could hear the blankets rustling as she moved around, āUmm, maybe. Not as achy, but still a little stiff.āĀ
āDo you wanna hold off on rehearsal and rest some more?ā I asked.
She scoffed, āAbsolutely not. Itās our last rehearsal day. There are a couple of things we need to nail down before tomorrow.ā
I rolled my eyes, āOk, fine. Iām gonna bring you some herbal tea though. No complaining. Youāre gonna drink it and like it. Itāll help.āĀ
She sighed dramatically, āYes, sir. Whatever you say.āĀ Ā
I groaned, āPlease donāt talk like that or else Iām gonna get hard.āĀ
She snickered, āSorry. Iāll behave. Iāll see you at the studio here shortly, yeah?ā
āYep. Iāll bring you some breakfast too. Just worry about gettinā yourself there.ā
I could hear the smile in her voice as she replied with a breathy, āYes, sir.āĀ
I raked a hand down my face, feeling that familiar rush of blood to my dick, āDamnit.ā
āEnjoy your morning shower,ā she said with a laugh.Ā
āYeah yeahā¦bye. See you soon, sweetheart.āĀ
After a very cold shower, I got ready, fed Zee, made Katās tea, then headed out. As promised, I stopped to pick up some breakfast on the way. I found Kat already stretching when I walked in. She looked like she felt a little better at least.Ā
After eating, we got to it, working out the last of the minor kinks that we kept running into with the lifts. By the end of our rehearsal session, we were successfully executing the routine perfectly each time and were feeling pretty confident about it. The only concern we had was that the producers might want us to tone down the sexual nature of it. My thought was to tell them to fuck off because they picked the song. It was their fault.Ā
Once rehearsal was over, we had to make our way over to Television City Studios for spray tan night. There was no getting out of it this week unfortunately. It was obvious that gossip was spreading throughout the staff and cast based on the general vibes toward us. What that gossip was, we had no idea. I assumed it was mostly to do with the Alec confrontation. Everyone was nice of course, but the looks being passed around told us things were being said.Ā
The weird vibes seemed to intensify when Alec and Lana showed up. We hadnāt seen him since the incident, so I wasnāt sure what to expect. His face was definitely banged up more than I thought it would be - with a black eye, busted lip, and bruised jaw. I couldnāt help feeling a little satisfaction from that. He deserved far worse.Ā
I could feel Kat tensing beside me when she caught sight of Alec. I placed my hand on the small of her back for reassurance, which caused her to lean into me and focus her attention elsewhere. Marc and Stefanie joined us, checking in with Kat to see how she was doing. I was only half paying attention, keeping my eye on the asshole, watching as Lana seemed to try and sooth him. It was obvious his usual crowd wasnāt being as friendly with him. I hoped that meant they were finally seeing what kind of person he was. He deserved to lose everything.Ā
Luckily, we didnāt have to wait long. A PA sought us out and explained that they would take care of us first from now on so we could get out of there in an effort to keep Kat away from Alec. Clearly Stacia and Joe had shared some information with the staff, but who knew how much? The rumors were probably getting pretty wild at this point. I could only imagine what was going to eventually hit the tabloids.Ā
After reminding Kat about my comfortable bed, she came home with me after that. We ordered some to-go food from the Greek diner on the way and had that for dinner. I encouraged her to go get some rest after we ate. She protested, but still followed me upstairs and allowed me to put her into one of my oversized t-shirts and braid her hair before pulling back the covers and urging her to lay down. Zee joined her almost immediately and snuggled into her side so that I could tuck them both in. I sat on the edge of the bed, pushing a few loose strands of hair back as she smiled up at me.Ā
āI feel weird coming over here just to sleep,ā she finally said.Ā
I rolled my eyes, āItās fine. I like that you wanna be here, even if you are using me for my orthopedic mattress.āĀ
She snorted out a laugh, āYou know thatās not the only reason Iām here. Iā¦I feel safe hereā¦with you.āĀ
My lips set into a tight line. I hated that she ever had to feel unsafe. āYou can stay here as long as you want. I donāt mind. I actuallyā¦āĀ
I paused, suddenly feeling vulnerable, but decided to say what I was thinking anyway.Ā
āI feel less lonely when youāre here.āĀ
She gave me a misty-eyed smile as she reached for my hand and brought it to her lips. I gave her a soft smile in return, rubbing my thumb over the tops of her fingers.
āNow, you rest. I think Iām gonna go paint for a bit, then Iāll come to bed.āĀ
After leaning down to give her and Zee a quick kiss on the top of the head, I disappeared to my studio. I started a new painting that night. It was of Kat, of course, lying on her side facing away in the creamy colored bedding that contrasted so perfectly with the golden brown skin of her bare back. Her chestnut hair wild and fanning out around her head. I made sure to add the two small freckles on her left shoulder blade that I loved to kiss so much as well as the subtle definition of her toned muscles that I always found to be so fucking sexy. I worked to get the curve of her hip just right as the sheet draped off it.Ā
She really did have the body of a goddess, full and curvy but still firm and perfectly sculpted from a life spent on the dance floor. It was feminine, yet exuded strength. I was almost certain she could crush my head with her thighs if she wanted to, which was sort of a turn on if I was being honest.
My intense concentration was broken by my phone pinging with a text message. It was another random number. I glanced at it, someone wanting to get together to party after seeing me on SNL. I had started getting a lot of these all of a sudden. Since none of the numbers were saved, I knew it couldnāt be anyone good. I had cleared out my contacts list after rehab for a reason. I rolled my eyes, then blocked the number.Ā
Realizing it was nearing 10:30 PM, I decided to head to bed. I made an effort to be quiet as I went through my nightly routine. Kat didnāt seem fazed in the slightest as I crawled into bed behind her to be the big spoon. She sunk back into my embrace as I put my arm around her and Zee, who was still snuggled against her chest. Once her scent invaded my senses, I was out.Ā
I woke up the next morning nose to nose with Kat. Her eyes were on my face as her fingers combed through the mess that I knew my hair had to be. She gave me a toothy smile as she told me āGood morningā. I responded by pulling her into a passionate kiss that lasted several minutes, finally breaking away because we really needed to get up. It was show day, so we couldnāt get behind schedule.Ā Ā
We drove to the studio separately to keep up appearances. I took a detour for coffee mostly so we didnāt show up at the same time. We ended up being pretty early, but the crew was ready to get started once I got there. Kat and I talked through the music arrangement with the band Director, then got started on our first run through for camera blocking and lighting. The routine was definitely getting everyoneās attention.Ā
Kat and I caught Stacia and Joe watching from the back of the ballroom. A nervous look passed between us, waiting for the chat to tell us to tone it down some, but that talk never came. The rest of the cast began filtering into the ballroom just as we were finishing up our third and final run through. We finished up to a few whoops and whistles from some of them. Most of the ruckus seemed to be coming from Marc and Stefanie. Marc gave me a pat on the back as we walked off the dance floor as he and Stefanie praised us. I was slowly forming a new appreciation for them as we exited to go to our costume fitting.Ā
After putting on my black pants, I didnāt bother to button up the shirt before walking out to the fitting area where Kat and Amy were discussing the minor additions to her costume that would be removed throughout the performance. She turned to me, holding out two skirt options that would fit over her original black lace costume, asking which one I thought would be best. We ended up going through those moves of the dance to test them out. We settled on a lightweight silky one.Ā
After that, I was standing in front of the three panel mirror as Kat fussed with my open shirt and explained what we needed. Amy decided to use some sticky Velcro strips to close it up rather than the buttons so that Kat could easily yank it open at the right moment. Once Amy got everything sorted and fastened, Kat shocked me a little by coming up behind me, grasping the shirt in her hands, and ripping it open without warning. She rested her chin on my shoulder as she laughed out, āI think thatāll get the job done.āĀ Ā
I snorted out a laugh, as our eyes locked in the mirror. She had a mischievous grin on her face as she pulled the shirt open further and allowed her eyes to travel downward. She raised an eyebrow as she focused on my middle section.Ā
I shrugged, āI think the spray tan lady gave me better abs. They were there this morning.āĀ
It was Katās turn to snort out a laugh as she ran her hands down my stomach, āNo, they were there alreadyā¦she just did a little contouring.āĀ
I rolled my eyes, āWhatever. I mean, Iāve lost weight but I dunno about that.āĀ
She leaned in closer to my ear, āIād still hit it with or without them.āĀ
My breath hitched as I glanced over at Amy who seemed to be in deep conversation with an assistant, then I looked back to Kat who was still giving me that mischievous smile. She was playing with fire today.Ā
I tilted my head to whisper in her direction, āBetter watch yourself Kitten, or else Iāll do just that.āĀ
She was still standing pressed to my back when I felt a hand grab my ass. She gave me a cheeky grin before letting go and turning toward Amy and her assistant to ask for a black tie and suit jacket to go with my costume. After changing out of our costumes, Amy rushed them back for the minor alterations needed. Then we were off to hair and makeup.Ā
We managed to nab our favorite hair and makeup team, which we were happy about. Those ladies were always a good time, making the process a lot more bearable. Kat opted to wear her hair down in soft waves again this week, rubbing it in as the hair gel was slathered onto my head to slick my hair back in that way they loved doing to all the guys.Ā
As I watched Kat interact with everyone, I could see a notable change in her. She seemed more carefree and happier than she had been during those first few weeks, openly joking around and having fun with those around her. I briefly wondered if she ever had this in prior seasons - the freedom to be herself. If she hadnāt, it made me sad knowing that she never fully got it until the end. She deserved so much better than she got.Ā
I was drawn from my thoughts by Kat suggesting to Samantha that I should wear some mascara and a smidge of eyeliner. I furrowed my brows at her and started laughing.Ā
āYouāre not serious?ā I asked.Ā
She sank her teeth into her bottom lip, fighting a smile as she nodded. Holly glanced up from Katās hair and smiled, āI agree. Thatād be hot.āĀ
Kat waggled her eyebrows at me, āYeah, see. Itās hotā¦ā
Samantha gave me a questioning look and I shrugged, āIf thatās what my girl wants, thatās what she gets.āĀ
I realized too late what I had actually said, causing me to grimace slightly. Katās eyes widened before she laughed it off. Samantha and Holly seemed unfazed by it, laughing along and getting back to work.Ā
We got held up with our costumes for a bit as they perfected the last minute changes we requested. By the time they got that figured out, we were the last couple to do final dress rehearsals. Luckily a lot of the cast had cleared out by then since they were finished, so we didnāt have to worry about too big of an audience. We ended up having to go through the routine a couple more times than we normally did to work out the kinks with the costumes since they were a little different from what we had been using in rehearsal. Once that was figured out, we nailed it.Ā
We didnāt have long before the show started after that. Kat and I were the fourth couple to perform, so we were already in the staging area waiting. She had to do a quick change after the opening professionals performance then immediately joined me again so that we could start our pre-performance ritual. I grabbed Katās phone to pick a song and began laughing before I even hit play.
š¶Listen to Dieter's Song Choice Hereš¶
Kat narrowed her eyes at me as the hip-hop beat filled her wired earbud. I was already moving to the music by the time she realized what the song was. Her face flushed red and she fought to hold in laughter as she shook her head at me.Ā
I started mouthing along with the words as I grabbed her hands to get her to move with me, āI take you to the candy shop, I let you lick the lollipop.āĀ
She shushed me through her giggles, going along and moving with me to the beat. It wasnāt exactly a hype song, but it allowed us to have some fun and shake off the nerves before we got the signal to head to the dance floor.Ā
š¶Listen to Performance Song Hereš¶
We took our places, me standing with a suit jacket casually thrown over my shoulder with Kat in front of me as a light fog surrounded us. After a flourish of her arms as the song started, her hands slid down the sides of my face to my chest.
You put a spell on me / Iām losing my mind
She turned, walking away suggestively and beckoning me with a finger. I threw the jacket down and followed behind her. Then our back and forth power struggle began as I caught up to her, capturing her arm for a spin and pulling her backside to my front.
You better stop these things / Itās a matter of time before I hunt you down, grab your chin, kiss your lips. / You bring me back, I lay you down, and grab your hips, and we lose all control.
We swayed in unison as she turned her face toward mine, my hand capturing her chin and pressing the side of my mouth against hers. My hands found their way to her hips as we did a deep circular rotation with them in unison before spinning her to face me for the next verse.Ā
And then before you know, I put a spell on you, and now youāre mine. / Iāve got a hold on you, at least for tonight.
We swayed, staring into each other's eyes as my hands caressed her face. We transitioned into an intertwining leg combo before she spun away from me, her hand cupping my cheek before sliding down and pulling the loose tie from around my neck to take with her.
You know I canāt help myself as you ask tenderly / If Iād dim the lights as your hand brushes me / Then the floor swallows your clothes, and your silhouette puts on a show
With a flourish of my hands and a snap, the lights dimmed. A spotlight dropped down on Kat as she discarded the tie and began a slow and seductive roll of her body. Pulling the newly added silky skirt loose as she spun and dropping it to the floor before moving toward me and kicking her leg up for the lift onto my shoulder.
You give me fever, drive me insane / You got me going in circles with potions and bottles and I canāt escape / I canāt escape / Iām lost in your ways
We transitioned into a salida, our foot work completely in sync before Kat moved her legs in a swivel, sliding her arms to my neck as mine tightened under her arms and around her back. Her feet spread wide so that they were inches off the floor as I leaned forward and spun us in a circle.
You put a spell on me / Iām losing my mind / You better stop these games / Itās a matter of time before I hunt you down, grab your chin, kiss your lips. / You bring me back, I lay you down, and grab your hips, and we lose all control.
As I gently placed her back on the floor, she grabbed my waist, turning me away from her so that she could rip my shirt open similar to the way she had in the dressing room earlier. After pulling the shirt off and discarding it on the floor, things only got more sensual as we moved across the ballroom as one. Hands sliding across each other's bare skin as our foreheads pressed together. Lips brushing as she twisted and swiveled around me. I spun her, her back to my front again for the deep circular rotation of our hips before moving into the tango walk.
I put a spell on you, and now youāre mine. / Iāve got a hold on you, at least for tonightā¦At least for tonight.
For the final part, we transitioned into another lift as I spun her around and gently lowered her to her knees on top of the fake bed we had requested as a prop. After dipping her backwards at the waist and doing half a rotation, she popped back up into our finishing pose with her hands on my face and our lips near touching as the lights quickly dimmed to black causing a deafening round of applause.Ā
Kat managed to sneak an actual kiss in before the lights came back on. There was something incredibly thrilling about it, knowing that all eyes were on us but they couldnāt see anything in that brief moment. It had me wanting her so badly. I was ready to leave without getting our scores.Ā
It was time to chat with the judges after that. They mainly focused on how sexy the performance was, going so far as to make jokes about fines for not meeting the show rating standards. They mentioned how our chemistry seemed to evolve more and more each week and was now exploding off the charts. It left me wondering how much longer we could keep this thing between us under wraps if we couldnāt hide it on the dance floor.Ā
I had a hard time concentrating on anything except Kat during our interview. My arm was around her shoulders while she had placed one around my waist. I hadnāt bothered to put my shirt back on, so I could feel every inch of her pressing against me with only the thin fabric of the lace costume separating us. Her fingers held my waist firmly as she pulled me tightly against her side.Ā
The air around us almost felt like it was vibrating as we fumbled our way through the hosts' questions, trying to explain how we kept our cool with such a provocative dance. I felt like they were trying to trip us up into saying something incriminating in regard to our relationship, but we played it cool, managing to redirect the focus to two friends having fun while working together.Ā
After standing around waiting for a commercial break to end, they went straight into scoring. We received four tens. Another perfect score. We were elated obviously. Kat didnāt hesitate to jump into my arms for a hug over the news. We were buzzing with excitement after that, finding it hard to focus on the remaining performances. Especially when we would brush against each other, accidentally or not. I tried to avoid shooting heated glances her way, but it was hard. Especially when she seemed to be reciprocating them.Ā
We both sighed in relief when the show was finally over, making a beeline toward the dressing rooms. We had zero urge to hang around and socialize once the show ended. Honestly, after our steamy performance, the only thing I could think about was getting her alone just so I could kiss her. I was quickly losing the strength to restrain myself from scooping her up in my arms in front of everyone. We reached my room first, after glancing up and down the hallway for prying eyes and finding none, I turned toward her with a mischievous smile and pulled her through the doorway.
After closing the door behind us, I backed her to the middle of the room, pulling her hips against mine as I captured her lips in a searing kiss. Her hands snaked around my neck as she deepened it, swallowing the groan that rumbled from my chest. I pulled back in an effort to not get carried away, sighing as I pushed her hair away from her face. āLemme get changed so we can get outta here.āĀ
She huffed, suggestively running her fingertips down the bare skin of my chest. āFineā¦OK,ā she said in mock annoyance. She moved to lean against the vanity countertop, crossing her arms as she watched me undress down to my boxer briefs.Ā
I couldnāt help standing up a little straighter and puffing out my chest as I asked, āYou see something you like, honey?āĀ
She smiled as she looked at me through her lashes, āMaybeā¦āĀ
I playfully rolled my eyes and chuckled, grabbing my robe off a wall hook and putting it on before shoving my costume into its garment bag. I quickly opened the door to put it out for pickup. As I closed the door behind me, I surveyed the room, thinking through what I needed to pack up to take with me. I walked toward the vanity, reaching around Kat to grab my phone charger. She tilted her head closer, grazing her nose along my neck before sucking on my earlobe as her fingers tugged the robe open. My hand paused midair as I leaned into her mouth with a smile, āWhat do you think youāre doing, sweetheart?ā
Her palms moved to my chest, pushing me backwards until the back of my knees bumped the chair, āWhy donāt you sit for a spell, Bravo.āĀ
I was curious where this was going, so I didnāt argue. The robe fell open as I sunk down into the chair, slouching with my legs spread wide - giving her an eye full of little Bravo who was now at full attention and dying to come out to play. My eyes stayed on hers as they drifted down to enjoy the view. She ambled forward, swaying her hips seductively until she came to stop between my thighs. She reached out, cupping my cheek with a smirk on her lips as she lifted one leg, then the other to straddle my hips. Only the thin fabric of our undergarments separated my hard length from the place that it wanted to disappear into. My hands found her hips, gripping and rocking them against me. Her eyes fluttered closed at the contact as she leaned forward against my chest, changing the angle to seek more friction. My face nuzzled against hers as my lips found her ear, āI want you so bad right nowā¦need to stop teasing me.āĀ
Her breath hitched as I bucked against her to emphasize my point.Ā She turned her head, mouth hovering above mine, āYou can have meā¦anytime you want. You donāt even need to askā¦āĀ
I smiled against her lips, āIs that right?āĀ
She nodded, leaning in for a sensual kiss as she continued to slowly roll her hips against mine.Ā
I groaned as my hands slid up her bare thighs to dip under the hem of her dress and grab the globes of her ass. āTell me what you need, Kitten,ā I mumbled between kisses.Ā
She pulled back, running her hands down my chest as she stared into the depths of my soul with a playful smile. āI want you to show me what a proper fucking from Dieter Bravo is like.āĀ
My brows knitted together as a wide grin spread across my face, āWhat? Here? Now?āĀ
Her brows arched, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip as she nodded.Ā
I sighed, āOh Kitten, I donāt think you can be quiet enough for that. Youāll get us caught.āĀ
She straightened her shoulders as her eyes narrowed on me, āYou wanna try me?ā
I huffed out a laugh, giving a jerky nod, āYes, I fucking do.āĀ
My lips crashed against hers, kissing her with more force than I ever had. If she wanted that carnal, animalistic side of me, who was I to deny her? Fucking was something I knew all too well, but I could already tell that even this would feel differently with her, and I craved it. I wanted her in any way she would let me have her.Ā
A knock on the door caused us to breathlessly break away from each other.Ā
āDieter, are you still here?ā a voice called from the hallway.Ā
Ā Kat and I stared at each other, confused by the sudden interruption.
āYeahā¦Iām hereā¦ā I called back cautiously.Ā
āHave you seen Kat? She hasnāt turned in her costume yet. Iād like to get out of here soon.āĀ
We both held in giggles as I yelled back, āHavenāt seen her.āĀ
Kat smiled mischievously and wiggled against my extremely hard dick. I gave her a look of warning as we heard muted muttering and retreating footsteps outside the door. Once it appeared that the coast was clear, my lips found hers again as she continued to grind against me. My body felt like it was on fire, her touch further stoking the flame as her hand moved downward between us. Just as her fingertips dipped under the waistband of my boxer briefs, another knock sounded on the door, āDieter, can you likeā¦text her or something? No oneās seen her.āĀ
I let out a frustrated growl as I leaned my forehead against Katās, āOh for fucks sakeā¦ā
She fought a smile as she held in her laugh.
āJustā¦ give me a minute!ā I finally called back a bit more harshly than I meant to.Ā
Without a second thought, I grabbed Katās thighs and stood, sitting her on the edge of the vanity before squatting down to take off her dance shoes. She watched me work with a small smile on her lips, lifting first her right foot, then the left for me to unbuckle the straps and place kisses along her calf as I pulled each shoe off. My hands ghosted up her legs toward her hips, gripping them to pull her off the vanity. I turned her to face the mirror, then unfastened the hooks to the straps on the back of her dress. Our gazes locked on each other in the mirror as I began to slide the dress down her body, revealing her to me. Once I pushed it past her hips, my head tipped forward to place gentle kisses along her neck, whispering a quiet āwait hereā against her ear before I tied my robe shut and bent down to collect her costume.Ā
I had to adjust myself as I moved across the room, hoping the loose fabric of the robe might conceal my raging hard on as I carefully opened the door just far enough to pass off the costume pieces in question. I quickly shoved them through the opening, āHere ya go.ā
The PA momentarily stared at me with confusion before finally reaching to take the costume. I gave her a tight smile, āHave a good evening.āĀ
She still looked confused as she replied, āUhh, thanks?āĀ
Without another word, I shut the door and locked it. Turning to find Kat still standing facing the mirror like I left her.Ā
She smirked, āYou realize thatās probably gonna cause some gossipā¦āĀ
I quickly closed the distance between us, my hands gliding around to the front of her body to explore her curves, āThen let them fucking gossip. I have urgent matters to attend toā¦āĀ
My left hand cupped her breast and squeezed it gently, eliciting a soft sigh from her as she leaned back against my chest. Her right hand reached behind her, tugging at the tie to the robe and pulling it open again. Her eyes settled on mine in the mirror as she cradled my bulge and stroked it gently.Ā
I tisked at her as I grabbed her hand away, āOh no no, Kitten. If you want a proper fuck, that means Iām in charge right now.āĀ
She sucked in a sharp breath, allowing her hand to fall limply at her side as my right hand joined the left, kneading her breasts and pulling her body flush with mine. My mouth found her neck, nipping little love bites up the length of it as my right hand slid into the waistband of her underwear to gently tease her, spreading her slick over the swollen bud that was already throbbing in anticipation.Ā
Within seconds she melted against me, whimpering as my fingers found their rhythm. Once her body began to tense and tremble, I withdrew my hand and was met with a soft whine.Ā
āDonāt worry, Kitten. Iām not done yetā¦just warming you up.ā
My fingers moved to her hips, hooking in the elastic of her underwear. āCan I take these off?ā I asked against the curve of her neck, causing goosebumps to form on her skin.Ā Ā
She nodded, letting out a breathy āpleaseā as she arched into me. I placed open mouthed kisses down her spine as I slid them off. After standing upright, I placed a knee between her thighs to spread her legs as my right hand found its way back to her center. My fingers gently rubbed tight circles around her clit while my left hand moved back to her breast. My eyes connected with hers in the mirror again as my teeth grazed her earlobe. She was already coming undone, panting and squirming against me, and we hadnāt even gotten to the fun part yet.Ā
āYou tell me to stop if Iām being too rough,ā I said against her ear.Ā
Her breath hitched as she nodded. I withdrew my fingers, giving her clit a quick smack causing her to moan quietly, āUse your words, Kitten. I need you to agree. Donāt be afraid to tell me to stop. You understand?āĀ
She nodded again, āY-Yes, I understand.āĀ
I gave her a cheeky smile, āGood girl.āĀ
Another quick smack to her center had her falling forward with a deep groan, resting her palms on the vanity as she rubbed her ass against me. My fingers got back to work, sinking into her heat and curling against just the right spot as I roughly shook my palm against her bundle of nerves.Ā
I hadnāt been this aggressive with her in the past, so I focused on what her body was telling me, afraid she wouldnāt make me stop if it was too much. She seemed to be into it as she sought out more friction against my palm. Her brows pinched together as her jaw went lax. Her head dropped down between her shoulders as she fought to hold in the moans. My left hand slid up to her neck, gripping just under her chin to pull her back against my chest as I kept up the relentless pace with my fingers.Ā
āI need to see your face, keep your eyes on me please.āĀ
She panted out a breathy, āYes, sirā and I nearly lost myself. She must have felt my dick twitch against her, because she smiled widely, reaching one hand behind her to grab at my ass to pull my hips tighter against hers.Ā
I chuckled next to her ear as I rolled her clit between my fingertips, āSuch a needy girlā¦come for me then Iāll fuck you like you want me to.āĀ
She gasped at the new sensation, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip to hold in the sounds that were trying to escape. Her eyes shifted between mine and my hands in the mirror, the sight seeming to spur her on as she writhed against me. I could tell she was close as I dipped my fingers back into her heat while roughly shaking my palm against her clit again. Her free hand grabbed my forearm, squeezing it tightly as she began to tremble and tense in my arms before going limp. I gave her a moment, allowing her to come down from her high as my hands explored her body.Ā
I suddenly felt her arch against me as a lazy smile spread across her face. āWill you fuck me now? Please?ā she asked in a sultry voice.Ā
Little Bravo was damn near busting through my boxer briefs at that. I was still a little apprehensive, afraid that I would hurt her. I knew the dancing was beginning to wear her body down, and I didnāt want to add to it, but I trusted that she would tell me if it was too much.Ā
I gave her a cocky smile as my right hand ghosted up her spine to grab the base of her neck to manipulate her into position, āLean forward.āĀ
She complied, placing her palms on the vanity as she tilted her hips back and upward to give me better access. We stared at each other in the mirror as my fingertips lightly stroked down her back, then grabbed her hips, gripping them tightly as I rubbed my hardness against her. Before she could register what I was doing, I drew my hand back and slapped her ass. She flinched slightly. I soothed the area with my palm as I studied her, āIs that too much?āĀ
She smiled and shook her head, āNoā¦just wasnāt expecting it.ā Her voice had a raspy and needy tone to it.Ā
I gave it another smack, causing her to exhale out a quiet groan as she pushed back against me. I paused, savoring the sight of her before me, naked and nearly bent over the countertop in my dressing room. It was a sight I had never expected to see. This wasnāt at all an unusual situation for me before I got sober. Iād had more than my fair share of women and men bent over countertops in dressing rooms, but with her, it just felt different. I felt the same rush of excitement and arousal, but there was something else there with it. A tightness in my chest and tingling along my skin as my gaze met hers.Ā
My connection with her was more than physical and gave me a high unlike any drug Iād ever had. I could only assume this is what it felt like to be in love with someone. I suddenly understood why some men would risk life and limb for their significant other. If this is how they were made to feel, then I couldnāt blame them. Iād do anything for her.Ā
I reached down with my right hand, releasing myself from my boxer briefs as my other hand gently caressed her back. She watched me stroking myself in the mirror, her breathing speeding up from the sight as I tipped my head forward, allowing spit to drip down to my hand to spread over the hard length.Ā
I moved closer to her back side, allowing my cock to rub against her drenched center as I leaned my chest against her and reached around to knead her breast with my free hand, āI think you like watching me touch myself, donāt you honey?ā
She sucked in a sharp breath at the contact as she pressed against me for more friction, āI like how you look at me when you do it. I can tell youāre thinking about all the different ways you want me.āĀ
I chuckled and mumbled, āYouāre not wrongā against her shoulder as I notched the head at her entrance and began to slowly sink in. I gave her a moment to adjust. She hummed out a sigh as she nuzzled her cheek against mine. My hands moved back to her hips and gripped them firmly, āYou sure this is what you want, Kitten? It wonāt be gentle.āĀ
I felt her clench around me, my words seeming to excite her.Ā
āIām sure. Donāt hold back, please.āĀ
She was damn near begging. It almost sent me over the edge. I had to take the first few thrusts slowly until I gained my focus back. On the fourth, my fingers dug into the meaty flesh of her hips to hold her in place as I slammed into her. She lurched forward slightly, crying out in surprise at the intensity. I paused, assessing her for a moment. A lazy smile spread across her face as she pushed back against me to keep going.Ā
I set a steady pace causing Kat to whimper loudly with each vigorous thrust. The sounds of our heavy pants and flesh smacking together filled the room as her right hand flew up to her mouth in an attempt to muffle some of the sound, eventually digging her teeth into her palm as she fought to contain herself. As she began to push backward against me to meet my thrusts, I could tell she was losing her composure. My right hand glided up her back, twisting in the hair at the nape of her neck as the other snaked around her waist to pull her flush against me. My fingers tightened in her locks, turning her face to meet mine. She kissed me in a libidinous way. I could feel it throughout my entire body, causing it to hum with electricity. I completely lost myself and my awareness as my craving for more of her intensified.Ā
I suddenly pulled out of her, causing whines of protest as I spun her around to face me and lifted her up onto the edge of the vanity. I wasted no time sinking back into her wet heat, pulling her closer and tilting her hips downward to get the friction where she needed it most. It was almost frantic between us now as our mouths crashed together, swallowing the grunts and moans that escaped with each forceful thrust that had her bouncing against me. Her hands found their way to the inside of my robe, sliding up my back before her nails dug in deep just as she tensed around me. She buried her face into the crook of my neck as she came with a deep moan that she tried hard to contain.
She finally raised her head to look at me with watery eyes. Her face was flushed and sweaty as she leaned her forehead against mine with a satisfied smile as I continued to drive into her with the same vigor. I could feel my release building as she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me in closer. I wasted no time burying my face into her chest, groaning loudly and whimpering as I came inside of her.Ā
She held me for a few minutes, scratching at the nape of my neck and down my back as my hands wandered up and down the sides of her body. We were both dripping with sweat as we waited for our breathing and heart rates to return to normal levels. This that came after is what made everything different with her. The intimate moments spent touching, feeling, and sharing our emotional connection was my favorite part. I wanted it to last forever.Ā
I eventually pulled away, looking up at her with soft eyes as I brushed her hair back. Part of me suddenly felt guilty for manhandling her the way that I just had.Ā
āI want you to come home with me tonight so I can take care of you. That was rough, I wanna make sure you donāt start hurting from it.āĀ
She gave me a small smile, āIt wasn't too much. I'm more than OK. Really.ā
I sighed, āThenā¦justā¦ humor me. Please?ā
Her legs tightened around my waist as her smile widened. āAnd how do you plan to take care of me?ā she asked with an amused tone.
I pursed my lips in thought, āHmmm, well, Iāll make you a fucking fantastic dinner while you relax on the couch and keep Zee occupied.āĀ
She hugged me a little tighter, āHmmm, I could get behind that.āĀ
My lips found her throat, placing gentle kisses between my words, āThen Iāll run you a hot bathā¦maybe join youā¦massage your hipsā¦.legsā¦and feetā¦make you come againā¦then have a nice cuddle as we fall asleep.ā
I could hear the smile in her voice, āSpeaking of foot massages and comingā¦ā
Busted. I glanced up at her with a sheepish smile, āWhat of it?āĀ
She caressed my jaw with a smirk, āDid you know what you were doing to me in New York, with the foot rub?āĀ
I snickered, hiding my face in the curve of her neck, āIām aware that some people can have an orgasm from a foot massage. I had a thing with a massage therapist once and he taught me how to do it. It wasnāt intentionalā¦initiallyā¦but then you didnāt stop me, so I just went with itā¦ā
I felt a low chuckle rumbling in her chest, āYou little shit.āĀ
I smiled against her skin, āScold me all you want honey, but you looked like you were about to jump me. I knew it was only a matter of time.āĀ
She laughed against the top of my head, āThe underwear selfie took it over the top. I took a screenshot of that, just so you knowā¦āĀ
I couldnāt help the howl of laughter that ripped through me, āI had a feeling you enjoyed that. I took it for you, ya knowā¦and you did not disappoint.āĀ
She hummed out a quiet laugh, āYeah, thatās the reason the vibrator ended up under my pillow.āĀ
The memory of using said vibrator on her danced through my mind, causing my dick to twitch inside of her. She pulled back to look at me with a smile, āI felt that.āĀ
I shifted and pulled out of her with a groan, āYeah, I need to get you home before he wakes up again.āĀ
She chuckled as I lowered her to the floor. I took off my robe and wrapped it around her shoulders with a smirk, āYou might need that. Canāt have you walking down the hallway naked.ā
She shook her head with a smile as she tied it shut, watching me throw on jeans and a t-shirt. I quickly packed up the few items I needed, then motioned for her to lead the way to her dressing room.Ā
There were still people milling around in the hallway. Most seemed oblivious to the activities that had just taken place on the other side of the door, except for Anika, who was standing across the hall chatting with one of the other professional dancers. They were both watching us with odd expressions as we exited my dressing room. I couldnāt help wondering if they heard something.Ā
Kat shocked me a little, noticing their attention, she responded with a wide smile, telling them to have a good evening as she literally strutted down to her dressing room. I followed her with a cheesy grin, never taking my eyes off her. It had to be obvious something just went down, but I sort of didnāt care.Ā
Kat was quick to get changed. She moved around the room to gather up her things, giving me a shy smile every time our gazes met. The electricity was still humming between us at higher levels than normal, and it was driving me insane. I needed her again, but in a different way - softer, slower, and more sensual. I wanted to worship every inch of her body, then wrap her up in my arms and never let go.Ā
Once she was packed up, we made our way out to our vehicles. She followed me home where I did everything for her that I promised I wouldā¦and more.Ā
Next: Week 7
Be sure to check out the fun Plant Dad Dieter extra at the end of the A/N.
A/N: Whew! Ok. That one was a beast. I know...I have a problem.
Anyway...so did the Alec thing go down like you thought it would? Are we super pissed at Kat for the way she is handling it? Or do we support her plan of rubbing it all in Alec's face? Trust me when I say he's got more coming to him.
We got a lot of domestic Dieter and Kat (and Zee šāā¬) this chapter. How do we think each of them is handling things so far? Our poor guy is trying really hard and being super sweet. I want to cuddle him.
We got some new tidbits of information on Dieter during his therapy session. We will get the full story next chapter. Any theories?
Y'all ready for some Instagram Lives? Neither is Dieter. Doesn't mean he won't suddenly be inspired to give it a try a couple of chapters from now though. You'll probably need a tissue for that. š¬
How do we feel about his agent wanting to use Kat for publicity? Did Dieter make the right call on that?
And lastly...sexy time in the dressing room. These two are something else. How long until they are open about their relationship do you think? Can we also take a minute to appreciate Dieter taking charge and showing Kat a little something new? š
šBecause I'm a total whore for a good Argentine Tango, I bring you two super sexy videos. The first one in particular heavily influenced the vibes for Dieter and Kat's performance for this chapter.
Video 1 š„
Video 2 š„
šIn case you missed the post, I forgot to include the "Plant Daddy Era" t-shirt for SNL in the last chapter. I made sure to give it a mention in this one and also bring you a fun edit. Please enjoy. #PlantsBeforePantsš
CP Taglist: @titlee78 @legendary-pink-dotĀ @survivingandenduring @wannab-ursĀ @harriedandharassed
@hisandsnakesĀ @misstokyo7love @readingiskeepingmegoingĀ @runningmom94Ā @sin-djarin
@cakipy-blogĀ @missladym1981Ā @guelyuryĀ @weho2kcmoĀ @alokaerzaĀ Ā
@girlofchaosĀ @trulybettyĀ @rhoorlĀ @bitchwitch1981Ā @madnessofadaydreamer
@darkheartgatitaĀ @jazzloveslatteĀ @timpletanceĀ @musings-of-a-roseĀ @samiamproductions
@myloveistoolittleĀ @for-a-longlongtime Ā @copperhalfcentĀ @auteurdelabre @drewharrisonwriter
@burntheedgesĀ @stevie75Ā @bunniboo0015Ā @quicax3Ā @jackie923
@sherala007Ā @pastelnapĀ @angelofsmalldeath-codeineĀ @jessthebakerĀ @rebel-held
@gwendibleywritesĀ @senorabondĀ @annalovesfloridaĀ @sandaltoesocksĀ @katw474
@txlady37 @inkmonster21 @sunnytuliptime @jeewrites @fifitheragertot
@pasc4lfuzz @toomanystoriessolittletime @tintinn16 @lizzie-cakes @insomniacdreammerbbĀ
@peepawispunk @pedrostories @dieterbravobrainrotclub
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal characters#dieter bravo#dancing dieter#sober dieter#soft dieter#cat dad dieter#plant dad dieter#slow burn#closed position series
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May I request Fairy Time and Hyrule doing some wing care or teaching the others how to help them take care of their wings?
Yes you absolutely may! Tysm anon!! I hope you donāt mind a bit of angst with all the softness
CW for one mention of blood
āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāā-
āHow long has it been since you did this?ā
Hyrule runs gentle fingers over Timeās wings. They spread grandly on either side, hues of soft greens and delicate blue-violets reflecting the sunās smiling rays. Usually, they are colored in bold crimson and royal blue, which clash like swords on a battlefield. But today they take on a more tired appearance. Faded, they have begun to droop discouragingly.
Time has never admitted it, but Hyrule has eyes. It doesnāt take a genius to realize that his wings change when something is wrong. More often than not, they herald the disturbance before it can truly become known. A flash of forest green and the next thing he knows Time is fading into the mist in search of solitude.
ā¦or collapsing in the middle of the trail.
Now, Time hums, sounding distracted. His hands lie in his lap. Absently, he twists his wedding band back and forth so quickly it is liable to rub a rash into his skin.
(Another nervous habit of his Hyrule has picked up on.)
āIām not certain,ā he admits, after a moment of quiet contemplation. The words are spoken with an air of something so desperate to be flippant. āIāve been occupied with other matters.ā
Hyrule blows out a weary sigh.
Other matters like worrying about all of us.
True, things have been strained amongst the heroes since Twilightās injury. And as unofficial leader ā and the rancherās ancestor ā Time has borne the brunt of it all. But stillā¦.
Malon had warned him about this.
āOh, he just doesnāt take care of himself.ā She had whispered during a visit to the ranch months ago after Time had fallen asleep at the dinner table. Head resting on her shoulder, he slept far deeper than he had in days.
āIām not askinā yāall to hover or anything. Heaven knows youāve got enough on your plates as it is. Butā¦just check in once in a while, will ya, loves? I donāt want him to lose himself while trying to take care of everyone else.ā
Hyrule canāt help but feel that he has failed. The events of the past weeks have left their mark upon him too. Exhaustion has hounded him at every turn, dragging him down so heavily that he has nearly collapsed beneath it. And yet, he had noticed the signs. The quietness, the reservation, the increase in snappishnessā¦the fear. But he had done nothing about them.
It wasnāt until Time had asked if he had taken the time to care for his own wings that he realized he hadnāt seen the older hero settle down to tend to his own lately.
He winces as he weaves the spell into some of the worse areas, mainly gathered around a large scar. These large wings, normally so bright with magic and life, have begun to lose their glimmer. Frightened, they shrivel, curling in one themselves to shield from the light.
With wings like this, flying will soon become agonizing.
Would he have tried to anyway? Hyrule doesnāt want to know the answer to that question.
Solitude can be harmful. He knows that far too well. But sometimes he wonders just how much of his life Time has spent alone to end up believing it is the only way to get by. Even after this family they have formed along the paths of hardship, even after Malon, it seems to be the road most familiar to the hero.
āYou can always ask me, you know.ā
He has been gentle this entire time, even more so than he is with his own wings. But with this part, he is extra cautious. He threads the healing magic into Timeās veins with the delicacy of one handling glass.
āI know itās hard to take care of your wings yourself. And I know itās even harder to trust others to do it for you. Butā¦ā He swallows as his fingertips graze the scar.
What had occurred to create such a chasm? To his knowledge, Time has never spoken of the event. Sometimes, he wonders if he ever will.
āYou trust meā¦right, old man?ā
Time looks up, fingers stilling at last.
āOf course, I do, traveler,ā he says, softly. āI donāt mean to make it seem like I donāt.ā
āThen, let me help you. Please?ā
āIām allowing you to now, arenāt I?ā
The traveler huffs. āYou know what I mean.ā
āI do. It doesnāt mean I canāt tease.ā
There is a smile in his voice, and Hyrule is glad of it. Even still, if the hero believes heās going to escape without a proper reply, he is sorely mistaken. If Hyrule is known for anything, itās his infinite stubbornness.
āCome on, old man,ā he urges, softly. āPromise me youāll ask someone to help tend to your wings when you need it. It doesnāt even have to be me. Just ask someone, please.ā
Timeās wings are beginning to improve now. Threads of vibrant red glow from beneath the green. Like blood on new cloth, they spread, engulfing the other colors. He watches, slightly awed.
āI love you, Time,ā he murmurs. āI donāt want you enduring pain just cause you donāt want to be a burden.ā
For a long moment, Time says nothing. The only sounds are the subdued jingles of the spell twined about Hyruleās fingers and the harmony of their breaths. It is peaceful in a pensive sort of way.
Then, āalright,ā he says in a voice taut with emotion. āBut only if you allow me to help you when you need it. Donāt think I donāt see how you struggle to remember your own welfare. You are too selfless for your own good.ā
Hyrule chuckles. āWell, I could say the same about you.ā
A small smile lifts Timeās lips. āSuch is the path of the hero, I suppose.ā
āYeah.ā The travelerās gaze goes to the scar once more. āI guess.ā
Silence pads in on soft, silken paws and settles down cozily. Time goes back to rotating his ring, though the motions are slower, calmer this time. Hyrule turns his full attention to finishing his task. Above them, the sun smiles, and Timeās wings transfer it in panes of pale red upon the blades of grass.
āTraveler?ā Timeās voice is so quiet it is hardly above a whisper. It nudges aside the quiet, murmurs with the wind.
When the hero is in his fairy form, it is as though he is of the nature that surrounds them; as at home amongst the towering trees and great sky, stones and moss and gurgling streams, as the fleet-footed deer or furtive foxes.
Hyrule looks up, head cocked in question. āYeah?ā
āThank you. Andā¦ā Time smiles, so soft it erases years of anguished hardship from his visage. āI love you too.ā
The traveler smiles.
#lovely anon#trin writes#fic request#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu time#lu hyrule#fairy time au#angst#fluff#ok lore drop in the tags#so fairies have to care for their wings like birds have to preen#they have to do it around once a month at the VERY LEAST#once a week is better#some do it every day#but the way they do it is by weaving a healing spell into them#it doesnāt have to be any specific healing spell#as long as it soothes wounds itāll work#it rejuvenates their magic#and keeps their wings from drying up#alternatively they can take a dip in a Great Fairy fountain#but the spell works just as well#they can take care of it themselves#although itās difficult to reach#so they prefer to have someone they trust do it#time has a hard time trusting anyone to do it for him#and itās difficult for Malon to do it for him#so he usually just does it himself#for better or worse
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i love 15x8 but its sometimes a little nonsensical to me but also so amazing at the same time?!?!
first off chuck being at a casino just killing people and being served is so real because if i was god and i was fed up id pull the same shit as him. And then when we see Adam and Michael they treat the waiter and the people at the dinner kindly even paying when they don't really need to and Michael going out of his way to fix everyones memory was a good non-mentioned comparison between the two and also made me feel like even though he wasn't on screen Michael changed alongside adam because szn 5 Michael was scary as shit and probably didn't care about the peoples feelings like his father
then we get to the nonsensical part which is honestly the dialog first up the diner scene. Adam says he can't go to college but he wants to get a little job and i just don't think Michael will sit back as Adam gets a little job in any way he wouldn't sit back during college. it is nice Adam wants to actually pay people even though if i was in his stop no way in hell (pun hehe) id do that
(edit but also them talking about the fast food killing him??? No it won't You're an archangel buddy nothing can affect him why are you shaming him ššš)
next is Michael getting caught in fucking holy fire by Castiel??? In season 5 literally Uriel got rid of holy oil before he entered a room (or maybe it was Michael I'm pretty sure it was uriel tho) And you're telling me Michael who got torched by holy fire and didn't seem to have a good time the first time by the person he was called by didn't get rid of the oil before he stepped foot near them and also it's a Castiel forever to drop that stupid fucking lighter he could stepped out. And How did Michael just let them put the stupid cuffs on He could have just thrown one of these hoes into the fire and stepped out when they were trying to cuff him??? Also they literally got him to have a conversation with him why the fuck would they kidnap him?
and my favorite favorite thing to complain about in this episode is their stupid ass conversations They start off by trying to get Michael who they just kidnapped practically to understand their side. And then when that's not obviously working and he's being kind of bitchy to them Michael says like "You who left me in hell and let your own brother rot" Sam spews some bullshit like "Well in our line of work We got to get used to lost causes blah blah blah blah blah" And first off Michael saying you who left your brother to rot in hell?? So did you and for like a million times longer what š But then they think instead of calling him out on his hypocrisy they start going off about their job and bullshit! WHY WOULD MICHAEL CARE DUDE HE'S AN ANGEL HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR LINE OF WORK!!!
I did love Michael and castiel's fight but they both looked just a bit constipated š¤
What made me really mad and like confused was 'when we locked away the darkness this was the spell' DIDN'T YOU DO THAT BEFORE EARTH AND PURGATORY AND THE UNIVERSE WAS A THING???? How the fuck is it a spell??? The final season I feel like they really were just giving any solution.
Also it's so funny to me how incredibly powerful Michael is even in these stupid fucking angel cuffs like it felt like the only thing it really was doing was making it so he couldn't get out of the cuffs but didn't do shit besides that. like he opened up a portal to purgatory which Raphael another archangel couldn't fucking do except for like one day a year or something. BUT MICHAEL BEING SO POWERFUL ALSO CONFUSES ME BECAUSE IF HE CAN JUST OPEN UP FUCKING PORTALS TO ANOTHER FUCKING UNIVERSES WHY DIDN'T HE JUST OPEN UP A FEW DIFFERENT PORTALS TO GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAGE
Also I might be the only one but I feel like Adam accepting their apology just felt like him saying 'get me the fuck out of here I'm so done' Also him cursing Castiel was funny "Since when do we get what we deserve?" looks to Castiel and walks out. yeah he totally knew that the gay angel was fucked personally if I was Adam I would have slapped Dean before I walked out but you know cursing his angel boyfriend is probably just as good
Also Adam's so peaceful in this episode like maybe it's cuz he doesn't want to like repeat what happened the first time he met his brothers when he kind of got possessed immediately by an archangel but now that he is what was his like consequence for being kind of a dick to them, like imo he totally should have cuz even though he doesn't really look it to us I'm pretty sure canonically he was still 19 yk
anyways that was a lot but I'm pretty sure it's all of my thoughts on this episode a beautiful crazy episode
#spn#supernatural#adam milligan#michael spn#dean winchester#michael supernatural#sam winchester#adam spn#midam#15x8#spn 15x08#I'm not a hater I love this episode#spn is a bit stupid sometimes#castiel
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why won't you just say what Sunarin said in the voice memo šš«„
big fan of not spelling everything out for the audience
#lol sorry this is poking into a sore spot and i'm trying not to be bitter but#if i wanted to spell it out i would have done so#did you know you can use your imagination to fill the blanks an author leaves open on purpose#it's fucking great actually#lale.ask
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Doodles based on "Yet Another Nightmare" by Catroic on Ao3 (highly recommend reading, its very good)
#kris#ralsei#deltarune#i didn't really draw much kralsei but the fic has the pairing so...#kralsei#i read this cuddled up in bed and half asleep (as per how i normally read these things)#so when i got to (no spoilers) that one sequence it felt really surreal#i wanted to try and depict half of the feeling i got from it#whether i have done so is debatable buut this was still fun to draw#i didn't make ralsei angry enough in retrospect... am a coward...#sorry these are so messy lol#on one hand if i cleaned it up too much it would stop feeling like a dream#and on the other... just don't have time for a more clean work right now haha#i think that āon one hand/on otherā figure of speech is used for comparing options and i just used it wrong#but >:) i do what it want; my figure of speech now#derailed a lot - highly reccomend reading this#and catroic's other works too actually#hy is a amazing writer and has lots of good works to check out if you have the time :D#tumblr compression is a bitch lol this looks soo much better on desktop than mobile for some reason#rare morning post from dawn woah#updated almost 24 hours later because i spelled ārecommendedā wrong and forgot to sign the image lol
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i wonder how productive the world would be if people realized that magnus and alex would not get together really fast
#like itās literally spelled out for you#they have all the time in the world and they want to use it#theyād be committed to each other sure depending on your own personal headcanon#but to say theyād put a label on it after a month???#i just donāt think so#i think they want to sit down and just exist at the moment and create a bond that isnāt necessarily romantic#because if they wanted to be in an explicitly romantic relationship they would have done it after they acknowledged their feelings#magnus chase#alex fierro#mcga#fierrochase
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wild to me that it takes hours for people in the usa to vote. it's never taken me more than 10 minutes and that's including the inevitable chit chat with the people there because they're either my parents' neighbours or the parents of people i went to school with.
#literally have your voting card and some kind of id ready#if you don't have your voting car then you just have to look up what desk you're supposed to go to usually it's split alphabetically so#for albonium it would be desk 1#get there give id (either my id my passport my social security card my driving license or a hunting permit (š))))))))#pick up the little papers and an envelop#get in the booth#put the little paper in the envelop#that's if you haven't done it at home already#get out#put it in the box#the person there says ā HAS VOTEDā#you sign next to your name#take your id#and fuck off#before your cousin's neighbours' grandma asks how your aunt is doing and if you've heard about the bakery being closed because the baker's#wife cheated on him and now he's got to take care of the kids and aetstdfhgfsgjgthj#you get what i mean#10 minutes tops#even in big cities#also it's always by paper like this if you want you can vote for someone else but you have to file papers at the police station#people empty the boxes and count them all together#if you want you're allowed to stay and watch as they count#or you can ask beforehand to participate in the counting#kids are automatically signed up on the voting lists when they turn 18 if they've done their mandatory 'defense and citizenship" day#ok this one is kind of propaganda-y for the army the cops etc but at the same time it allows to test the entire population to see if they'r#illeterate (there's grammar spelling etc tests)#do some driving rules lessons#cpr training#reminder about blood donations etc#which imo is important
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this is a test
#iām bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters thatās actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring letās think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk iām not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad thatās a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isnāt all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw thereās probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i donāt#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like iām actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much itās crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books theyāre all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry thatās made everything a bit messy. i shouldāve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think youāre being annoying i literally donāt care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now itās just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i donāt really have any thoughts to put here idk if weāre halfway ermmmm omg itās#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. itās wild how itās basically almost christmas. like#what. thatās illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesnāt crash or#smth cause iāve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but iāve saved it and holy jesus itās a lot of text im just sat here giggling thereās really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldnāt that be crazy) so wait thereās 140#haracters and 30 tags so whatās 30 x 140. someone hurry. i havenāt done maths lessons in two and a half years iāve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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oh OH hO spicey ohhh having a spicey little tantrum about the boromir tag don't listen to me at all do NOT listen I mean it I mean it this is so petty
#text post#Gonna go ffffucking crazy- people have to bend so far over backwards to make Boromir bad that they just full out ignore his entire characte#and bend even further over backwards to make the elves all better than him too like jesus christ#oh is it BOROMIR who would be bitter about dying in the defense of Rohan??? whose despair is just so self serving and requires legolas to#slap him out of it yes uhuh that seems reasonable seems like BOROMIR would just hate the idea of dying for allies he so clearly loved#when in the full actual canonical scene of his death he dies for two random guys he met five months ago and all he has to say about it is#he failed he is sorry he has paid#BOROMIR definitely doesn't deal well with his own looming death and would definitely snap at other people about it ignoring all the decades#he has been under the looming shadow of death and has been known as not-grim and loved by many and has done his duty almost like#that is literally all his life has been up until this point#and of course of course it's ARAGORN who he's supposed to be fighting for because he's SOO impactful on Boromir's psyche he meant so much t#him apparently ggrsfsfgrrffffggfrgr#everyone wants to hit boromir oh yeah he's so annoying his hopelessness is such a burden and everyone else has to deal with him#if ANY of you go looking for what I'm talking about and do anything about it I'll slaughter you myself these are such inside thoughts the#comic is good#I shouldn't even be angry it's the natural conclusion from a story that tells you Boromir is bad but does not spell out that it's because h#isn't 'faithful' to god#they just tell you he is 'too despairing' and he 'desires power' and he 'doesn't have hope' (hope being a proxy for faith and Boromir not#believing in Aragorn means he doesn't believe in Eru's chosen leaders and his 'grand plan')#despair being a sin because it means you are selfishly giving into your own desires for a good life for you and the people you love#rather than accepting that all is God's plan and this life is only meaningful if you are defending Eru's right to the throne of the world#But that isn't spelled out so for despair to be treated as evil in the story people apply a secular understanding of 'bad despair'#already a TERRIBLE idea btw genuinely awful to percieve hopelessness as a personal moral failing#I suppose thats it actually the major reason it gets to me cus hopelessness and despair is a base aspect of my existence like#I am in despair pretty much constantly and I know a lot of other disabled people with similar sentiments#and the urging from people to 'have hope' is at this point sickening and infuriating and maddening to me it is disconnected from my reality#WHICH is demonstrably why I care about Boromir and Denethor so much no one meets them where they are no one sits in their reality with them#they are deeply relatable in their dealing with dispair namely; they just live and accomplish and strive along with their sarcasm and#black humour through their dark grueling lives and do what duty demands and try to hold onto their crumbling family relationships#and then they each have uniquely cathartic ends to those lives
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thereās an alternate universe out there where when you reach the sanctum in totk when āzeldaā does her little cutscene she ends it by throwing a dagger at you and it whistles just past linkās head as he reacts in shock before readying himself for battle and then you regain control of him as a boss bar appears at the top of the screen that reads āPuppet Zelda, Twisted Memoryā
and Link is forced to fight the one he swore he would protect and has been chasing after the entire game, and instead of a sage offering him warnings or encouragement the Zelda belittles him and accuses him of abandoning her and failing her and leaving her to die
and her attacks at the beginning of the fight are those bursts of bright light and the daggers but as you whittle down her health and begin stage two the facade begins to slip and the light bursts are replaced with darkness and she oozes gloom wherever she moves and her movements become more stiff and skeletal and broken
and then once youāve defeated her she rises into the air all broken and limp but still looking at you and says that it doesnāt matter that she wasnāt zelda because zelda is still gone, trapped in the past with no way to come home she could be burried anywhere in hyrule, and she summons a dark bow of light and draws it back as a red-purple bulging mass begins to form at the arrow tip
and thatās when the sages turn up, sidon unleashing a wave that pushes the bow aside, tulin firing an arrow that riju uses to cast down lightning, and yunobo at linkās side, and they all have their own line of dialogue that boils down to ādonāt worry link, thereās no way thatās zelda, she would never say those horrible things, and we know sheās still out there because you heard her true voice, so donāt lose hope!ā
and then zelda dissolves into gloom with a fit of that uncanny laughter and thatās when that megamind-style ganondorf head appears and makes his whole speech about how they have no idea who he is or was and you get his memory and that he has waited all his imprisonment to battle against link and prove that he is the strongest in hyrule, āand then you will fall, link, as rauru and zelda did, knowing that hyrule falls with you. Come to the Depths beneath this wretched castle, and meet your fate, o destined hero.ā
and then the zelda-gloom melts away into a heart, and the sages have that post-battle talk about re-grouping at lookout landing, and tell link not to do anything rash because they will find the real zelda together
#totk spoilers#totk#i just. we were robbed of a puppet zelda fight imo#donāt spend all that time building up a creepy ganon-controlled zelda and then get me right where she wants me then give me some phantoms#i can fight phantom ganons whenever i want theyāre in set locations with gloom hands!!! Give me a unique boss battle that sets up ganonās#final plans and properly wraps up the first arc of the game where ganon is leading you as zelda to collect the spiritual stones#so that he can take them from everybodyās corpses when he defeats you and gain even more power#at least. thatās what i want his plan to be bc it makes the most sense i havenāt exactly gone to fight him yet >-<#and like. this doesnāt solve the problem of act two being nothing if youāve done actions out of order or that the tears spell out the entir#mystery of where zelda is which ruins the main quests of the game because everybodyās like āwhereās zelda????ā and youāre just like ššš#but you arenāt given that dialogue option ever BUT it would have been much more forgivable if the obvious not-zelda#had culminated in a super fun angsty puppet fight like in tp or st
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I love how my unintentional excuse as to why Alestair and Idan never have to go to work is because they ran away and basically quit without notice.
#this has always been a part of the story though as the first ever thing I wrote with Alestair involved what happened#but Idan stops working there because of that#Mara's job pays a LOT and is hire based so she can do whatever#Vilissa is like the only character that has to regularly work LMAO#but also Vi wouldn't let Alestair get a job when they were dating#as for Fae she's a sex worker so she does it whenever#Fritz and Jer are employed but they don't even get heavily involved in helping until Love and that is explained away (thanks Vi)#as for other stoires#the children in Sunshine are too young to work#the parents do work and leave regularly but aren't really heavily involved#and the adults just take care of themselves with the stuff they have or work if they want (like Norie)#there is no currently running school in the castle (but there used to be)#Barle is a con artist so he would sell junk he fixed up but after getting kidnapped by Shika he doesn't really worry about that anymore#Shika and Fria have disposable income as they are just looking for Barle (Shika the princess and Fria a royal bodyguard)#and Charlie is a bounty hunter so he has freelance (and later a courier)#Flick and Millie are child and Nick is jobless and he's a bird currently so he just needs to eat a little#Ebers is a fortune teller so she does that whenever#also since Millie doesn't care about school she skips out after Flick shows up#And Flick is basically kidnapped so she doesn't got to school as she can't even go there#Seth is homeless and gets things out of making deals with others which he sometimes sell expensive items to get money#Lia and Giles leave behind their lives to adventure but were previously self employed (small businesses)#Myrtle is a Princess so she has that responsibility and disposable income#Sylas is a hunter but there isn't really any work to be done if most of the kingdom is under a sleeping spell#Nym uses the stuff that Elysa left behind in death but he was a Farmer back home not that he can get back home#Pokey runs the train station and the venue but he also isn't getting a lot of business from the inner kingdom#that's just the main stories lolll#every story has some kinda excuse about not working while the story happens
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Dont be angry, Finnula said. Be smart.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Elide Lochan#Finnula#no spoilers pls first read along w me chapter spoilers in post & tags below w more annotations/quotes/notes/reacts/perspective 3 of 4#The City of Riversā¦ can Aelin get a City of Fire? cuz that would be cool & Elide already said āfear was another companion it canāt be worse#IT WAS LORCANS SHIRTš & he cared so much he lied so sheād use it from Gavriel/Rowanš OH ELORCANššš#Yet this place seemed like a paradise. WHATS REAL? is it a Maeve illusionā¦ but it sounds lovely; like Rowan could just fly aroundš#Pink and blue flowers draped from windowsills; little canals wended between some of the streets ferrying people in bright long boats.#And though a good dose of fear would aid in her cover too much would spell her doom. -smart clever spy gal Annabeth Chase would be proud#And this city Rowan had told Elide had been built from stone to keep Brannon or any of his descendants from razing it to the ground.#when u know ur evil cuz you had to build in a backup plan for the day Brannons peeps eventually come to shut that shit downā¦ my poor Aelin#Elide fought the limp that grew with each step farther into the city--farther away from Gavriel's magicā¦ or Lorcanāsššš¤š¤Ø#okay Elide I see your mirror mirror Aos moves with the berry listen and compact trick she can do it with a broken heart#cycle. She hadn't been able to find the words anyway. Not with what it would crumple in her chest to even think them. WELL NOW IM CRUMPLED#As if she'd been weeping for weeksā¦ yeah that fits the KoA vibes#But it wasn't the reflection she wanted to see. But rather the square behind her. ā BRILLIANT QUEEN ā lol thx Lorcan for having a mirror#if only anything could be a witch mirror then they could all cell chat and communicate cause the travel time in this one is rough#she was merely staring into a compact mirror no more than a self-conscious girl trying to fix her frazzled appearance ā she is the best spy#A girl trying to muster some dignity. Let them see what they wanted to see-A girl far out of her element in this lovely well-dressed city#cornflower blue ALWAYS THESE SHADES#her golden-brown skin shone with an inner light. Her eyes were soft with kindness. And concern.#had always made them foolishly off guard and eager to get away. To tell her what she needed to know. ā funny 2 watch Elide do this after HoF#The sort of voice Elide had always imagined great beauties possessing the sort of voice that made men fall all over themselves.#Cairn. One of the males swore; the other scanned Elide from head to toe. But the two females had gone still. ā agreed heās the worst#the portrait of hopeāyeah childās right cause noāElide always naming peāopleāIf you escaped Cairn don't go looking for him again.ātrue#Cairn is blood-sworn to our queen. Still makes him a prick TRUTH ā doesnāt need to be a far to catch the lie ā WHERE IS SHE DAMNIT#She was about to do it again wheenā¦ The dark-haired beauty from the tavern was standing behind her. ā SHIT#Maeve was not in Doranelle. How long would that remain true? Had to make the next performance count. ā how many had she done this already?š„¹š
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swashbuckler rogue my beloved
#i would never regret the storm sorc/tempest cleric combo that i chose for Bonk because they're an absolute damage MACHINE#but sometimes i wonder who i would be if i had gone down the martial road instead#bonk literally has a pistol and a sword and they're pretty fucking good with both of them. you normally don't see that in sorcerers.#i think my attack bonus with the sword is higher than my spell attack bonus which is kind of insane#next time i level up i have to go through all my spells because honestly im starting to get a little tired of the same old lightning bolt#PLUS now i have transmuted spell so i can just take pretty much any damage spell i want and turn it into lightning damage#for my sweet sweet bonuses#there is just some part of me that needs to play a rogue though. swashbuckler. arcane trickster. soul knife. phantom. anything#normally i don't like playing stealthy characters but there are so many good rogues out there#even a āruff boiā a la magnus burnsides (fighter/rogue)#multiclassing my beloved too i guess#so hard for me to make a character that i don't multiclass#i might even go paladin/bard with one of my newer characters eventually#inspired by calliope petrichor#but he's different. he'd be a bard because he's a theater kid#but also i want to play a straight up paladin because i want to explore with being a character who has a connection to a god#because i've never done that before#and the themes and motifs are too strong#idk man we'll see how it goes :)#i love dnd#ALSO i feel like i cant make him a bard because i already have TWO OTHER FUCKING BARDS#GUYS (sweating) IM NOT A BARD MAIN I SWEAR#maybe for my paladin i could just take magic adept and learn some bard spells or something? like beverly naddpod? maybe#but it's not about the spells... it's about the performance checks...#i really should be working on my finals right now#im so serious if you've read this far down 1 hi :) and 2 if u have dnd characters PLEASE tell me about them. bats my eyelashes. please
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