#if i want to talk art talk society talk classical music i’m sorry but we just vibe on another level

[touchlikethesun]

”why do you want to still be friends with that guy aren’t you constantly complaining about them?” yes i am bc they’re a pretentious dick, but who else am i going to be a pretentious dick with if not them???

[mccoymccoymccoy]

Data - “Even though I cannot dream, I feel I must be when I am with you.“

Word count: 1282

Quiet evenings with Data were all you needed to be content. It was quite often that you would find yourself in your boyfriend’s quarters when he was off duty, where you were welcome to simply sit and play with Spot, as you wished. Every time you came in, though, he would bombard you with the same questions after you pressed your routine kiss to his forehead in greeting. A subtle reminder that he loved you, though he would never say it himself.

“Would you like something to drink?”

“No thank you, Data.”

“Would you like some music?”

“No thank you Data, I’m fine- I quite enjoy listening to the sounds your computer makes.”

“I see. Would you like-”

“Data, I’m just here to see you, I’m happy with simply being here.”

Usually followed by a contemplative “ah” and a slight tilt of his head, you’d go back to the main living space to sit on his couch and talk to him from there while playing with Spot. He found it strange at first that you’d be okay talking to him while he was finishing up his work and not physically present, but always found an odd sense of… comfort, upon coming over to sit with you with an arm around your shoulders.

Tonight, however, had been different: When you came in and kissed him hello, he attempted his best smile and stated: “I am almost done, please wait a moment.” At this, a grin spread across your face. A stray from the usual?

“Not gonna ask if I want a drink?” You prodded, teasing. Data, however, did not see that it was a prod, a tease. He looked down for a moment, deep concentration and confusion showing up on his face in a way he wouldn’t have been able to put into words if asked. When he looked back up, however, his face was as expressive as a rock.

“My apologies, Y/N. Based on your prior responses nearly every time I have offered you a refreshment, I calculated a chance of only six percent that you would say yes. And while that is almost always a chance I will take, as I wish only for you to be comfortable and content, today is the exception. Please, sit down, I am almost done with what I am doing.” 

You smiled at him, nodding and starting to back away from the desk. You paused in the doorway, too curious not to ask: “Have you got something planned, Data?” 

He looked up from the computer and gave a slight, but definite nod, along with a slight, but definite, smile. You smiled again, finally leaving to sit on the couch. A few comfortably silent  minutes passed before Spot made her way to you, dashing out from hiding and jumping up onto the couch, then onto your lap. She rubbed against you a few times before settling down, which happened to be the exact moment Data appeared in the doorway. 

“Sorry, Spot, bad timing,” you sighed, picking Spot up and placing her down on the couch as you stood up. Turning back to the door, you found Data right behind you- but moving forward still, crouching down in front of the couch to pet Spot. 

“I have prepared a surprise,” he stated, twisting his head around to look at you. You crouched down next to him. 

“What kind of surprise?”

He tilted his head ever so slightly, and his baby doe eyes could’ve killed you right there. “Is not the point of a surprise to be a… surprise?” 

You grinned, and he stood up, taking your hand to pull you along with him. “Spot, we will be back later. Behave while we are gone.” You couldn’t help but giggle at how seriously he spoke to her, as if she truly understood the meaning of every word. Despite that, you waved goodbye to Spot as the two of you walked out the door.

“I have created a holodeck program for us,” he announced once you made it there. He tapped something into the computer interface and requested his program, then took your hand and stepped inside.

It was breathtaking. The prettiest golden sky hung over rolling valleys to the west, while to the east there was a massive willow tree sat against the edge of a lake that stretched far beyond your field of view. You took your shoes off to see how it felt to walk on the grass, which seemed to be the softest grass you’d ever encountered. 

While you giggled and played around in the grass, Data turned to you. Completely flat and monotone, he proceeded: “Even though I cannot dream, I feel I must be when I am with you. This is a representation of what you remind me of.” He put his hand out again for you to take, and once you did, began walking toward the tree.

You smiled at him. “Data, I love it, it’s absolutely gorgeous. But I must ask, when did you become such a poet?”  He thought for a moment. “I have been studying the art of poetry. I’ve reviewed a wide variety of societies’ most famous poets, while especially focusing on the subject of love. I have found from my studies from Earth’s poetic history that sometimes simplicity is the best way to express your message.”

“Well, that certainly proved true. This is perfect,” you responded as you reached the edge of the lake. You stared at it for a moment while Data disappeared behind you. “Y/N?” You turned to look at him, now sitting against the base of the tree. What you hadn’t noticed from the entrance was a picnic setup: a classic red and white gingham blanket with a little picnic basket sat in the corner, accompanied by two glasses. He very mechanically patted the ground next to him, motioning you to sit, which you did promptly.

“In addition to my poetry studies, I have recently learned that the “picnic” is a common type of date in many cultures. Though I do not require sustenance, I have programmed in my bio-lubricant beverage so I may share this experience with you,” He explained, reaching over for the glasses. This was all so thoughtful, but not at all hard to believe. You knew he had emotions of his own, despite his constant denial of it. You knew he loved you, despite his saying “I can only wish I could.” You took the glass he was handing you, and smiled.

“Data, this is incredible. Thank you so much.” A small smile grew on his face, though if you asked him he again would have denied that. “The pleasure is mine. An idiom, of course, as I do not feel pleasure.”

“Oh, of course!” You giggled and clinked your glass against his before taking a sip- which thoroughly confused him for a minute before he accessed the information for, (“Ah. A custom shared in many cultures as a pretense to sharing a drink with friends or family, usually followed by a toast.”)- then set it down and leaned against his shoulder. It had been a long day, and you were used to just relaxing with him in his quarters before he took over the bridge night shift, not running around on the holodeck. The air was cooler underneath the tree and so close to the water, and you found your eyelids to be a little bit heavier than they were five minutes ago. 

Data watched you closely, moving his arm around your shoulders to let you cuddle closer, which you did just before falling asleep. Though he wouldn’t say he loved you, you knew he did.

[transmascfrankiero]

all of mcr’s songs ranked out of ten based on whether or not you can strip to them:

romance: could work if you were going for a Super Melancholy smiths-esque vibe but overall too slow and pretty. 1/10

honey: headbanger soundtrack to showcase your revenge body to ur ex. bonus points for underlying ‘gonna murder shitty boyfriend’ context thanks to audition-inspired video. but slightly too angry to be seductive. 5/10

vampires: too goth, too many feelings. reminds me of pot dreads frank. would not work. 0/10

drowning lessons: this song is cursed and cannot be listened to in public unfortunately 0/10

sorrows: if u were going to do a strip routine while beating the shit out of someone for trying to stealing ur tip money this would be a gr8 choice 6/10

halos: it’s about blowing your own head off and taking too many pills to cope w/ wanting to die all the time. 0/10

turnstiles: please do not!!! strip!!! to a song!!! about 9/11!!!! what is wrong w/ you!!! -100000000/10

monroeville: if u were doing a private lil strip dance for your george a. romero-obsessed s.o. where u both cry over the idea of having to kill the other person b/c they turned into a zombie then sure??? but other than that no. .5/10

best day ever: ehhhhhh. too fast. kinda weird to get sexy to unless u have a hospital kink. 0/10

cubicles: wow the thought of doing a strip routine to a song about pining for ur coworker who doesn’t know u exist is too sad to even joke about -20/10

demolition lovers: it’s a long song but it’s got cool tempo changes for variety and if u got the stamina then go for it. 4/10

helena: so, like, i get it. it’s a bop. u could dance to this beat for sure. the costumes and color scheme from the video make for gr8 stage pictures and the dancing corpse lady is v pretty. i could understand why if u were doing an emo strip routine u would want to use helena. but please for the love of all that is holy do NOT strip to a song gerard way wrote about his dead grandmother okay i am BEGGING you -∞/10

give ‘em hell kid: FUCK YEAH YOU LOOK PRETTY WALKIN DOWN THE STREET IN THE BEST DAMN DRESS U OWN. 10/10

to the end: this would be a hilarious choice for a bachelor party ngl 7/10 for that alone

prison: absolutely you could strip to this song but u gotta COMMIT okay u gotta light something on fire onstage and challenge gender norms while screaming your head off 8/10 but only if ur not a coward

i’m not okay: it’s a bop, but can u strip to it? no. 0/10

ghost of you: mikey way did not die on a beach in fake normandy for u to strip to ghost of you. seek help -5/10

jetset life: dude this song like. actually works??? for a strip routine??? so long as you don’t actually listen to the words, from a musical perspective, u could totally strip to this 10/10

interlude: what kinda weird catholic shame kink do u need to have to strip to this song. also it’s too short and too pretty. -5/10 (unless ur into catholic shame idk)

venom: this would require such a high energy routine but if u can make being sweaty work then this is a gr8 choice 7/10

hang ‘em high: this is a BATSHIT INSANE choice for a strip routine but if u want to do it then PLEASE do. i like ur style. 8/10

deathwish: u can strip to this only if u introduce ur routine by dedicating it to everyone who ever said eyeliner on dudes was gay. 5/10

cemetery drive: i think not. 0/10

never told you: if u are a highly theatrical highly murderous stripper then yes definitely 7/10

desert song: this song is Way Too Beautiful to strip to sorry you can’t have it -300/10

the end.: the only sexy thing about this song is how good gerard’s voice sounds so no. 0/10

dead!: this is a bold fucking choice but u have to play your cards just right. high risk high reward but SO much to potentially get wrong 6/10

how i disappear: u could. but why. 2/10

sharpest lives: holy SHIT yes ABSOLUTELY u should strip to sharpest lives. the drama. the beat. the spy rock guitar that frank accidentally nailed. this is one of THE choicest options from their catalog. why aren’t u stripping to this right now 50000000/10

wttbp: cute idea but don’t actually 0/10

i don’t love you: again, a bold fucking choice. u could strip to this in an edgy, meta sort of way but it’s missing the trashy factor so it’d have to be part performance art and part strip routine. if ur into that then totally 5/10

house of wolves: i mean i would pay money to see someone strip to this song so 7/10

cancer: LMAO YIKES -2000000/10

mama: this would be GLORIOUS if u fully embraced the sheer insanity and went Bonkers in Fuckin Zonkers burlesque-show-in-hell w/ it. 100/10 but u gotta pound the floor wailing at some point

sleep: i’m conflicted on this one like on the one hand it’s a good tempo for stripping but on the other hand it’s a song about being cruel to ur loved ones in order to force distance between u and them b/c you’re terrified of them getting hurt and it being all your fault. so maybe don’t strip to this one actually 0/10

teenagers: a bop w/ a great beat and fun costume ideas from the video but two major drawbacks being 1. ur getting naked to a song about teenagers which is uhhhh sort of Inappropriate and 2. it’s kind of also about school shooters which is also Inappropriate to get naked to. 0/10

disenchanted: why would u want this. you sad fuck. idek what to say except if you want to strip to this song i’m crying on your behalf -100000000/10

famous last words: don’t????? don’t. Do Not. stop that. -12/10

blood: this is HILARIOUS omg please strip to blood 10/10

kill all your friends: sure?? no objections but it’s an odd choice. this goes for the demo too. 2/10

heaven help us: if u want to strip to this then you definitely just read unholyverse for the first time and while u are valid, Don’t 0/10

my way home is through you: not an especially sexy song but it’s fun!! you do you 3/10

astro zombies (cover): uhhhhhh it’s a no from me dawg. i’d be thinking about danzig, like, the whole time. 0/10

desolation row: sure but u gotta be willing to get punched in the face by the riot squad for maximum effect 4/10

common people (cover): just b/c gerard would strip to britpop doesn’t mean u can. 0/10

emily: NO!!!! -50000/10

party at the end of the world: nah. 0/10

not that kind of girl: literally please consider the subject matter of this song and rethink ur life choices. -10/10

all the angels: it’s a cool song but don’t strip to it that’s weird -2/10

jack the ripper: you and the person who wants to strip to astro zombies can go sit in the suicidegirls corner together how about that. 0/10

na na na: a banger!! strip away my friend 9/10

bulletproof heart: a good song but not a strip song 1/10

sing: sorry this song is [REDACTED] it gets no score

planetary (go!): you could try to strip to this but it’s such a classic four-on-the-floor that i think you’d end up just regular dancing to it and forget to be sexy so 4/10

the only hope for me is you: are you doing a strip tease for michael bay. stop. put ur shirt back on shia lebeouf 0/10

party poison: like this is a hilarious option and i support you but realistically it’s pretty fast for a strip song 3/10

save yourself, i’ll hold them back: this is a safe option. Too Safe. almost soulless. a person who’d strip to this would avoid eye contact the entire time and never smile and later when you went out for a smoke break you’d overhear them on the phone with their ex arguing over child support payments. 4/10

s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w: the more i think about it the more fun the idea of stripping to this becomes so i say go for it 6/10

summertime: i’m Certain that gerard would prefer if you didn’t -5/10

destroya: is this objectively the best mcr song to strip to? Absolutely. it’s got everything you could possibly want right down to built-in moans and fever dream drums. but the only person in the universe who Can Must and Should strip to this song is gerard. sorry them’s the breaks. ∞/10 but only if you’re gerard way

kids from yesterday: don’t. 0/10

vampire money: 100% yes you should strip to this. bonus points for stealth twilight references 1000000/10

we don’t need another song about california: do i like this song? yes. is it sexy? no. 0/10

black dragon fighting society: i can’t understand what the FUCK gerard is saying in this song AT ALL so i can’t recommend that u strip to it b/c i have no fucking idea what it’s ABOUT 0/10

f.t.w.w.w.: i mean. this song is about eating pussy. and robots that are built specifically to fuck. so yes you can strip to this but you gotta dress up like a pornbot 100/10

mastas of ravencroft: again i cannot understand most of the fucking words and the ones i do understand are something something RICKETY BONES RICKETY HANDS so like. probably not the one 0/10

boy division: i could go either way on this one like it’s really fast but it’s also about cocaine so??? 3/10

tomorrow’s money: while this song slaps overall violent nihilism does not a strip song make 1/10

ambulance: no. 0/10

gun.: antiwar messages are sexy but not the right kind for stripping 1/10

the world is ugly: PLEASE no. 0/10

the light behind your eyes: oh my god this is so DEPRESSING why would you want to strip to this who hurt you -2000000/10

kiss the ring: yes yes yes it’s got built-in audience participation conceit factor if u let ur audience kiss ur ring, totally works 10/10

make room!!!: again, slaps, but not a strip song 1/10

surrender the night: dude we talked about this!!! dying violently w/ ur loved ones is Not Sexy!!! 0/10

burn bright: i guess you could strip to this but again it’s Too Safe tread carefully 3/10

fake your death: i want frank iero to strip to this song so i can throw tomatoes at him for being a LYING SACK OF SHIT FOR TWO YEARS i’m not gonna rate this one but frank if ur out there i have a basket of slightly squishy heirloom tomatoes and i am COMING FOR YOU

[extremelyblackandwhite]

handmaid - 27

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap, mention of weapons 

A/N:  more musical references ... who would’ve thought? but now i’m also adding disney references bc referencing is my passion (unless it’s for essays, then screw referencing). also i’m very sorry for being late with this chapter something happened last night and i couldn’t finish it. i hope you enjoy this chapter x

NEXT CHAPTER

    - Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six ...  - a choir of two voices echoed through the reading room in the Forrest household with one being significantly deeper while the other much higher and almost baby like. However if asked, Y/N would solely deny that being.5 made her a baby and she would constantly put five fingers up in pride of her young age. Accompanying the two voices, there was the soft sound of the very old piano which had been with the Forrest family for more than a century - sept, huit, neuf.

   - Fantastic. Play the last three notes for me by yourself this time. - Daniel smiled at the much younger Y/N dressed in a hand-me down white ruffled dress with her hair pushed out of the way by a velvet white string. Y/N giggled, her babyish laughter echoing through the room before she could concentrate on the keys of the piano, her fingers pressing the same combination as just before. 

   - Sept, huit, neuf ... Sept, huit, neuf. - her fingers played through the keys as her still very badly spoken French came through but that was the life of a lady who was to grow up to stand next to an heiress; educated in the arts and languages, polite and classic, a picture and reflection of true perfection. Fake it until you make it, it’s what her governess told her constantly. - Sept, huit, neuf. 

  - One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. - Daniel joined in with a lower key, quickly playing through the keys and ending at the nine making Y/N smile in relief. Whenever he changed to English it normally meant the lesson was over and while Y/N loved music, she didn’t enjoy it for three hours straight in the early morning. - You know birdie, whenever you don’t wanna be somewhere try to pretend you do.

  - It’s too early. - she whined, head leaned against the keys of the very expensive shiny black instrument. 

  - Alright, birdie, go on a do whatever it is you do in your free time.

Before he could even shut down the piano’s hood, Y/N was already on her feet, the small sounds of new tiny shoes becoming further and further as she exited the reading room and bolted towards the attic. At 5 years old, the young handmaid had mastered a way to get the high door open by using two tennis rackets tied together with one of her hair strings. After doing this, the stairs came collapsing down allowing her to climb them into the attic. 

Looking around like a squirrel afraid of being caught, she returned to the pile of boxes she had found when she was rummaging through whatever had been left there. She wasn’t entirely sure who it belonged to or what it was but she was convinced that it was filled with something that looked pretty enough to belong to a princess. Opening the first box she came face to face with a gold coloured head piece. Curiously, she grabbed it from the box rushing over to a pretty old mirror with already dark spots and a bit of browning. Curiously, she lifted up the headpiece, placing it on her head. Her eyes seemed to wander around her reflection before the headpiece started to slide down, a bit too big of her. Before it could reach the floor, however, Y/N grabbed it, noticing a few letters on the in the piece. 

 - Y/N, the French tutor is here. 

 - I’m going. 

Y/N watched as Sebastian in awe as he cooked her cheese toastie. Sure, a cheese toastie wasn’t a culinary masterpiece and it was the furthest thing from being a hard task, still she was just entranced by the sight imagining what things could be. Dreaming is a dangerous two edged swords allowing you to envision everything your heart desires yet having the power to keep it as further yet close enough to reach but never have. She could almost see it, she could almost see and hear the future that would never be. With eyes wandering to the piano in the living room, she could see and hear being sat at the piano teaching her child how to play while Sebastian made his cheese toasties in the kitchen. Yet again dreams aren’t reality, reality is much more bitter and unforgiven. 

    - Look at that, unburned. - Sebastian slide a perfectly white porcelain plate towards her containing the delicious snack. 

    - I’m rather scared that burning is your only evaluating tool for cooking. - she tried to hold in a little child-like smile but her muscles had more strength. - Thank you.

    - Well, angel, unless you can cook better than me I believe you have no right in criticising. - he took a seat very close to her, choosing to instead stare at her rather than eat along with her. At that comment Y/N scoffed, giving him a look that made him question his statement and wonder if she was some sort of hidden stellar cook. 

   - I would say I can, at least, cook better than you. 

   - What can’t you do? You’re like this untouchable Edwardian woman. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who is so effortlessly ready to be in high society.

   - I don’t belong in high society. - she seemed to stare blankly at the wall of the kitchen and how perfectly straight the back splash had been placed. Every single square perfectly placed yet not noticeable by its own, unless bringing perfection to the whole piece itself. - You just have to pretend you do. No one in this business is gonna give their daughter up to be standing next to someone who’s bound to inherit an empire ... you said yourself, if they shoot at an heiress they’ll shoot at you too. It’s more like picking someone off the street and dressing them up just good enough that you believe they’re untouchable. 

   - You don’t give yourself enough credit. 

   - I think you just see me through rose coloured glasses. - she took a bite off the sandwich. - You know what? That’s pretty good. 

   - Thanks, angel. - he kissed the top of her head. - Hey, how about we do something you really like tonight? 

   - No. - she held his hand. - Let’s do something you like to do. We never do something you like to do, why don’t you pick?

   - Angel, I don’t think you’d enjoy it. 

  - It can’t be that bad. - she put what was left from the sandwich in the plate, wiping her hands clean from the grease. -  You do what I want all the time. 

  - I like making you happy, angel. - he leaned towards her, placing a soft and quick kiss on top of her nose. - Besides, you haven’t made me do anything particularly torturous. 

  - No. - she crossed her arms at him, jumping from her high seat. - We are doing something you like doing tonight. 

  - Okay, angel. Let’s go then. 

There was no denying her, or at least he hadn’t built a backbone to deny her yet. Nevertheless, he took her back to the garage yet instead of walking into the unit they had just been in, both of them kept walking and walking passing various units with various numbers, probably belonging to other tenants. He finally stopped in front of an abnormally large unit which had a pin code pad. Quickly and almost mechanically he put the code in which made the door unlock allowing him the open it up. Stepping inside, this unit was way more organised than the last one with what looked like a small version of a shooting range. A mob boss liking to shoot ... original. 

  - Do the neighbours not complain about the noise? - she wondered out loud. 

  - Soundproof walls. - he gave her his regular pearly white smile, taking a pair of noise cancelling headphones and googles from the wall. - Besides, it’s my building. 

  - I’m sure someone probably has complained. - she teased as he put a pair of googles on her face. - Have you ever shot a gun, angel?

  - I did archery in school. - she shrugged. Gwen and Dan usually went for the shooting range back when they were younger but Y/N was always one to take that time to herself and stay home either practicing for her lessons or reading. Besides, she was entirely sure she didn’t even know how a gun worked. - Didn’t have a good aim.

 - Well, this it’s not entirely like archery. - he opened a black panel, grabbing a matte black revolver before handing it to her. Y/N, however, stared at it untrusting of the object. - You’ve grown up with the mob, don’t tell you’ve never touched a gun. 

 - They told me not to and I enjoy following rules. - Y/N crossed her arms, defensive of her statement which made Sebastian smirk. - Besides, what if I touched it and it accidentally shot me? 

 - It’s locked, angel. - he placed the revolver in front of the circle target so he could put the noise cancelled headphones on her, leaving it just spaced enough so he could still talk to her. - Besides, maybe you should know how to defend yourself.

 - Okay. - still a bit guarded, she picked up the weapon, placing herself in line with the target while Sebastian was by her side. 

 - It’s a quick-lock system. - he helped her unlock the gun. - Now, regularly most of the ones in the mob have a quick-lock system so if you’re eve ...

 - I don’t wanna think about it. - the memory of the gunshot from earlier had her not in the mood to think about danger. Maybe there was imminent danger to avoiding the probability of her being hurt but half her mind wanted to believe that people wouldn’t shot at her. Sebastian tightened his lips, changing his narrative. - What if it shoot you by accident?

 - Angel, that is pointing nowhere near me. - he tapped her elbow. - Eyes on the target and pull the trigger. 

Y/N swallowed in dry, looking up from the gun to the bullseye before pulling the trigger. The sound didn’t hit her as hard due to the headphones but she still took a step back out of surprised followed by an upset moan due to the fact the bullet had hit the furthest place from the target. 

  - Right... - Sebastian placed himself behind her, arms coming up to her, almost mirroring her position so he could move her arms and overall aim in the right position. - Take a deep breathe, pick your target, concentrate and shoot. 

  - Okay. - she took a deep breath, feeling his skin too close to her in a way which almost made her too weak on the knees to concentrate on the target. Nevertheless, she focused on the bullseye, pressing the trigger which caused a back/forward motion and the bullet when straight into the target making her eyes and smile widen as her ego swelled up with pride. She turned around, pulling Sebastian into a hug. - I did it!

Sebastian locked the revolver, placing it back on the table before returning to a very enthusiastic Y/N yet not very excited to do it again. Nevertheless, Sebastian was happy she at least knew how to use a weapon, just in case. As he opened his mouth to say something, his phone started to ring. God, just fantastic. Sighing in defeat, he put his phone on to his hear, a fairly familiar yet annoying voice coming through. Y/N watched in confusion, not entirely sure who was at the phone but from what she could manage from his words it seemed like he was getting an invite which he was very against. After what felt like a good 5 or 10 minutes of speaking on the phone, begrudgingly he turned his phone off, looking at Y/N with a look which was very indescribable.  

  - Are you okay? - she took a few steps forward, wrapping her arms around his neck, one of her hands coming to brush his hair soothingly. - Who was it?

  - Gwen. She’s spending New Years at the Ritz and she wants you to go. 

  - The Ritz? I thought she was going to Monaco. 

 - Seems like she decided to stay in New York and wants you and me there for good measure. 

 - I know for a fact she does not enjoy your company? Why the sudden change of heart?

 - We are getting married in two weeks, angel. I would call it PR but then again, what hasn’t been PR with the two of us?

 - Oh ... right ... the wedding. - sometimes Y/N forgot that she was very much involved with a man stuck in his engagement. It wasn’t like he could break it, that was a death sentence and probably the biggest mistake he could make. However, she still didn’t know how she was gonna handle it. Maybe Mr. Forrest was right, maybe she should go to Paris after all of this was over, maybe she should just start to distance herself but how could she distance herself from someone who is just so magnetic without even trying? How do you ignore a magnetic pull? - Well, I guess we should pack ... again. 

tag list: @lilya-petrichor​ @xoxohannahlee​ @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater​ @nikkipea​ @madisonpillstrom​ @cevans98​ @thelostallycat​ @sideeffectsofyou​ @anxiousdreamersworld​ @captainchrisstan​ @lookiamtrying​ @sarge-barnes-sir​ @stuffforreferences​ @thebadassbitchqueen @sebastianstansqueen​ @nsfwsebbie @strangerliaa @emzd34 @everything-is-awesomesauce @dreams-in-blxck 

[theartoflovingthomashunt]

A Chance Encounter

[Thomas Hunt x Alex Spencer Masterlists] [Red Carpet Diaries Universe]

Characters: Alex, Thomas Hunt Book: Red Carpet Diaries Word Count: approx 3,000 🙈 Prompt: party - @choicesoctoberchallenge2020 Notes: I know this is way longer than anything I’ve written in a long time, but I still hope you give it a chance and I hope you enjoy it. It is a Halloween inspired story.

☆  ☆   ☆   ☆   ☆ 

He pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes closing at the pandemonium surrounding him. Colorful lights flashed while a cacophony of sounds filled the air. Drowning out the thumping bass of the music and the aimless blather of conversation was nearly impossible. This was the worst part of his job. The required self-promotion and appearances in order to stay relevant. Why should he need to pander to them? Shouldn’t the work speak for itself? Not a single soul at that party could hold his interest, let alone hope to match his intellect in order to have a meaningful conversation. 

It wasn’t their fault, not entirely at least. They didn’t know better. They were a mere product of the society they lived in, or at least what semblance of such a concept passed today. His upbringing had afforded him with different experiences that had led to the high ground on which he now occupied. However, if he were to be completely honest with himself, he’d always felt like a man out of time, even then. 

Thomas was jolted back to the tumultuous party as a guest crashed into him. He shifted the tumbler of scotch in his grasp away from him just in time to protect it from spilling. A low rumble of annoyance growled in his throat. He took a sip of the drink, letting it linger on his tongue, though it no longer gave him the same sense of satisfaction it once had. His gaze continuously fell on the timepiece on his wrist, watching the minutes tick by until he could leave. With one last swig, he finished the caramel-colored liquor and made his way toward the exit. 

For the first time in far too long, he felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of her. It was a sensation, he never expected to feel again, and not one he could even explain; and yet, for a moment, when his eyes met hers from across the room, something in him changed. He was drawn to her like a moth to a flame.

Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight, For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.

He had always admired the works of Shakespeare but had never understood that sentiment until that moment. This chance encounter was somehow unlike anything he’d ever known before. 

Her eyes sparkled even under the pulsating lights of the party, like stars in the night giving weary sailors hope and filling them with an unexplained wonder. Her smile was the sun, offering warmth and comfort to those lucky enough to find themselves in its path. His feet carried him nearer, unable to stop himself until he stood before her lost as he drank in her beauty. 

She tucked a strand of her soft brown hair behind her ear, her cheeks warming at his close presence. “Hi, I’m Alex.”

He shook his head, pulling himself from the spell he found himself under. “I’m Thomas.”

“I must admit that I know who you are.” Her gaze shifted nervously to the floor. “I’m not sure how you found your way to me though. I just moved here. I’m no one important. Though, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” She extended her hand to him. 

The pads of his fingers lingered on the pulse point of her wrist before lifting her hand. His lips ghosted against her soft, warm flesh. He felt each shift in her breathing and the slight change in temperature brought on by the heat flooding to her cheeks under his touch. His lips curled up in the corners, as he pressed a kiss on the back of her hand. 

Why do I feel as if she might have the power to sway me as she pleases? He fought against himself at the thought. He had never anticipated such a feeling nor had he ever wanted to find himself in such a position. 

His dark eyes shifted up, catching her coy downcast gaze; his thumb brushed over her knuckles once before finally releasing her hand. “The pleasure is entirely mine.”

Somewhere between the rhythm of her heart beating and the steady sound of her breathing, the clamor of noise from the party fell away. The tension in his brow released and soften. “Can I tempt you to a stroll in the gardens?”

Alex glanced around and found her friend engaged in dancing with another partygoer. It didn’t appear he would miss her. “I would like that.”

The gibbous moon shone high in the sky basking them under its soft light, her porcelain skin seemed to shimmer. The cool, refreshing air wrapped around them welcoming them into the night. 

A shiver tingled over her skin as they walked wordlessly across the patio, moving past a few couples entangled with one another, unaware of their presence.

“Here.” Before she could protest his jacket was draped protectively over her shoulders. His hand hovered over her lower back, wanting nothing more than to touch her but not letting himself give in. “I insist.”

“Thank you.” Alex pulled it a little closer, savoring the scent of his cologne on the tweed fabric.

The gardens offered some respite from the party. Alex shared her story of moving to Los Angeles and the hopes she had for her time there. They talked about classic cinema that inspired both of them on this path. She spoke with grace and elegance. He admired her passion for the art of film rather than the allure of the spotlight. Although, he found it didn’t matter what they talked about or if they talked at all. The further they wandered, the closer their bodies seemed to drift and the quieter his mind was until all that was left was her. 

***

“Ooo—” She recoiled for a moment.

“Is everything alright?”

Her hand slipped once more into his. “Your fingers are freezing.”

“Oh, that. My apologies” His free hand threaded nervously through his dark hair. He started to pull his grasp away. “I run cold.”

“We can share my warmth.” Alex guided his hand over her exposed collar bone, letting him warm his skin on her. Her breathing hitched at the sudden change in temperature and the rise and fall of her chest increasing under his intent gaze. 

The gesture caught him by surprise. The heat of her skin felt like a flame against his palm, spreading a blaze throughout his core. He cradled her delicate face with his other hand, letting her fire warm and consume him, until he felt, for the briefest of moments, more like the man he once was.

***

Alex leaned over the siding of the small wooden pier that led into a large lake. The cool water settled around them, while moonlight kissed the surface leaving ripples of sparkling diamonds atop it. The serene scene drew a smile across her face, her joy reflecting in the image below caught her attention. She knew she had never been so happy in her life, but seeing it on her own face while they were together was not something she’d ever noticed before, but it was hard to deny its presence now.

Her gaze shifted beside her hoping to see that same joy in his reflection, but instead, she found more water. She spun quickly around, his arms were there to catch her.  She breathed easier finding him beside her still. “I thought‚—never mind. Come look at how beautiful it is. There is nothing quite like a full moon to alight the dark waters.”

His fingers settled on her hips, drawing her closer to him. “I  would not wish to ruin the beauty of the portrait below. It’s perfect just the way it is,” he admitted, his gaze tracing her features. “Though it owes its allure entirely to you.” 

***

“Hi, you.” She threw her arms around him as soon as she opened her front door. His own greeting was quieted by her lips on his. Her bare feet shifted up on her tiptoes, as he pulled her closer, lifting her up into his arms. The slow, gentle kisses deepened until nothing separated them. She pulled away breathless, biting her lip. “Hi… again.”

The watercolor sunset that painted the sky not long before had faded into a deep blue, stars just beginning to twinkle above them.

His fingers glided across her cheek until he cradled her face in his hand. “You’re absolutely stunning.”

Alex took a step back, brushing back the strands of hair falling in her face from the messy bun atop her head. “We’re already together, you don’t have to flatter me. I’m wearing yoga pants and an old tee. This isn’t even in the same realm as stunning.”

“When you wear it it is,” Thomas stated as if it were a fact everyone was aware of. 

Her face wrinkled under a spreading grin. She turned and walked back into her house. Stopping on the other side of the door, watching as Thomas lingered on the porch as if waiting for an invitation. “Seriously? You really are a gentleman, aren’t you?” She laughed softly to herself. “Please come in, dear sir. You have my permission to enter the premises of this young lady.”

***

His careful fingers caressed her skin as he laid beside her. “Back in my day, things were different. There wasn’t this need for more. Less was more and things were simpler. There weren’t so many distractions pulling focus and demanding our attention.” 

Alex chuckled to herself, leaning up onto her elbows to meet him. “Back in my day,” she teased, slightly mocking his tone.

His brow furrowed in confusion.

“You’re not that much older than me, Thomas. We’re not all that different, are we?”

His eyes closed, and the confusion gave way to dismay.

“What’s wrong? What did I do?” She shifted up, noting how his body tensed beside her. “Talk to me.”

He sighed heavily as if emptying out every part of himself. “This was a mistake. I’m sorry.” He turned from her bed and swiftly redressed.

“What just happened?” She pulled the sheet around herself leaving the warmth of the bed to follow him. “What did I do?”

“It’s not you. I promise it’s not you. This was just a mistake. I shouldn’t have— I knew better—I can’t.” He continued on, without turning back to her. He knew if he faced her, he wouldn’t be strong enough to do what he had to do. “I’m sorry, Alex. You deserve better. You deserve someone who can give you what I’ll never be able to. Truly. I’m sorry.”

“Thomas! Thomas!!” She almost tripped on the sheet as she chased after him down the stairs, giving him time to move further away from her. 

“I’m sorry.” He repeated once more, his hand on the doorknob. “Please forgive me.” 

“Thomas, wait!” The door was more than half-closed when all the pieces finally came together, the puzzle that had been forming over the past few weeks was now complete. “I know what you are!”

The words caused him to stop in his tracks. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

Alex caught up, opening the door wider to meet him once more. The cool night air seeped through the house. “I know what you are.” She repeated softly, her fingers grazing his cool skin. “I think I’ve always known.”

“What do you think you know?” He questioned, his troubled gaze refusing to meet her eyes. 

“You’re a vampire, aren’t you?”

He squeezed his eyes shut at the word. “Then you should know to stay away from me.”

She stepped forward, closing the gap between them. 

Her warmth washed over him even in the cool air, intoxicating him. “Alex, stop. It’s too dangerous.”

“Why? You’ve given me no cause for concern. In fact, I’ve never felt safer than I am with you.”

“Alex—” He took a step back, putting distance between him and the humming of her heartbeat pumping in her chest, pulling him back in. He shook his head. That sound had once quieted his mind when they had first met but now it overwhelmed his senses. It beat as if it were a part of him now. “I’ve spent a long time honing my patience, fighting my instincts, and controlling my thirst. But with you, you make me forget myself. You make me feel like the man I once was, like I could be him again, like I could be human. But I’m not, and I’ll never be.”

“Thomas.” 

He held up his hand quieting her. 

“If I let myself forget, even for a moment. If I lose control. If anything happened to you— if I ever hurt you. I could never forgive myself.” 

She took his hand, offering a gentle squeeze. “I trust you with all that I am.” She placed his hand over her heart, it’s drumming echoed in his ears like a beautiful symphony. “Now, trust me. I’ve seen you, the real you. I can’t begin to understand what it’s like for you, but I know you and I’m willing to take the risk. You’re worth it.”

“Alex, if something—” 

His words were cut off as her finger pressed against his lips. “I see you, Thomas. I see all that you are and all that we can be. Come back to bed.”

***

He brushed a soft kiss on her forehead, then her nose, and each cheek, before settling on her red lips. “Are you sure?”  

Her eyes darkened with desire at the sharp sensation of his fangs pulling out her lower lips. “Yes. I’m sure.”

Thomas left a string of hot kisses down her throat to the side of her neck where her pulse vibrated loudly in his ear. He swallowed hard, focusing on the flow of her precious blood hidden by such a fragile covering of skin.

She saw the hesitation in his eyes. “I trust you. You’ll be able to stop.”

His fingers entwined with hers, bringing them closer but also pinning her to the bed. “I love you, Alex.”

“I love you, too.” She gasped as his fangs sank into her neck, puncturing her flesh allowing him to feed. Her eyes closed, letting her body focus on the sensation. She felt both weak and empowered at the same time. Her head fell back into the pillow, her heart beating faster. His groans of satisfaction and delight drew her gaze to him. 

Her body tensed and tightened in confusion. “Thomas? Why are you sparkling?”

His lips never left her skin, his attention to her neck only deepening, drawing out a whimpering moan that left her eyes fluttering closed once more. 

***

Alex gasped for air as her eyes popped up. She blinked several times, letting her gaze adjust and giving her mind time to catch up. 

Thomas’s fingers softly stroked her hair, as she rested her head in his lap. Her favorite blanket was pulled up over her. 

She tried shifting but found it more difficult than she had anticipated. It wasn’t her neck causing her discomfort, it was something else. Her fingers slid over her swollen stomach. Her babies kicked at her touch, filling her with joy as her memories of earlier in the evening came back to her. 

“I settled on staying in for Halloween because some self-proclaimed hermit of the hills didn’t want to attend a party.” Alex teased, her fingers dancing up his chest. “So I should choose the movie!”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “But must it be that one?”

“Yes, it must!” She insisted. 

His hands cradled her stomach, his focus shifting to the twins. “I apologize that you must suffer through this.”

Alex rolled her eyes, unamused. 

Thomas cringed as the film played; his eyes continuously closing in an attempt to block out the external stimuli that left his skin crawling. “Alex, please. This is torture.”

She laughed, enjoying his suffering more than she should. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Twilight is a great film. A work of art, actually.”

“I know you’re kidding, but even still! How did vampires fall so far? Vampires may not be an area I particularly find inspiring. Nevertheless, this is an atrocity.” 

“What would you suggest then?”

“Well at the moment, I think you and the twins need a bit of education to help stop the decay of your brain cells after this.” Thomas turned off Twilight and switched to Vincent Price's Dracula.  

Alex placed a pillow in his lap, curling into him, her focus on the screen watching the history of the vampire genre. Somewhere into the documentary, shortly after the history of Vlad Dracul and Vlad Dracula’s reign of terror she drifted to sleep. 

Her fingers pressed to her neck. It wasn’t like she hadn’t been having crazy pregnancy dreams, but this one had felt so real. 

The credits of the film were paused on the screen, firmly reminding her of what was real and what wasn’t. She felt a kick in her abdomen, as her eyes settled on the screen. “Hmm. Vincent?” The words on her lips barely made a sound. “Do you like that?” The babies shifted again as if in agreement. 

She shifted in his lap, looking up at him. “Hi.”

Thomas’s mouth pulled up at the corner. He brushed her hair away from her face. “Hello, Sleeping Beauty. Welcome back.”

Alex reached up, the pads of her fingers caressing his beard before her thumb pulled at his chin begging his mouth open. “Just checking.”

“Do I even want to know?”

“Well,” she shifted up, batting her eyelashes coyly. “I could tell you about my dream. Or you could just kiss me.”

A low laugh vibrated on his lips. “How could I deny my beautiful wife, a kiss?”

“You can’t.” Her lips met his, closing the gap between them. 

That dream may have been more vivid than any other she had ever had, but nothing would ever come close to challenging the perfect dream that was her reality. He was more than she ever could have imagined needing and soon their family would be even more perfect. She had everything she could ever want right there in front of her.

☆  ☆   ☆   ☆   ☆

A/N2: I did proof read it but at like 4am so if there are mistakes, I’m sorry. I will reread/edit in the morning. 

Tags in a reblog to see if that helps with Tumblr tags. 

[ladyhearthkeeper]

Please tell us more about how you were raised like a Victorian lady. I would like to be accomplished too.

Hello :)Thank you for your ask. I will try to answer it the best way I can.

Well, the main thing is that in my education more emphasis was given to building my manners, broadening my mind and my taste for art, music and literature, religious obligation rather than a career.

This is a quote from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen that expresses what I mean by accomplished like a victorian lady :

“No one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with.  A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, all the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.”

“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

So these would be more of the superficial (yet important elements) of what makes a lady accomplished.

To that, one needs to add a foundation. A proper victorian lady was raised as a believing woman. This provided her with a space to work on her soul but also provide kindness to her community and those in need.

Even though I use dear Jane Austen to explain this, I think Margaret Hale from Elizabeth Gaskell’s North & South is a better example. Examples help us find what we want to work towards.

Now that we have a framework, here is more about me…

I was encouraged to read all kind of books, in any genre. Back when I was a teen YA wasn’t really a thing so I read proper books. YA are nice but they are not enough to broaden a young mind. I mostly read classics but I didn’t stop at that. Books were my best teachers. Later, when I realized that I wanted to become more ladylike I even read guides written in the 19th century for young ladies. You can found them at the Project Gutenberg. Books like this one.

It helps that I studied literature, with a particular interest in 19th century novels. Victorian ladies were well read and had a lot of knowledge. So I think it’s important to choose a good subject to study, not as a mean to earn money but to broaden your scope. It doesn’t have to be frilly, it can be science, technology etc. The goal is to learn more.

I joined the choir (I regret not knowing an instrument but I would like to remedy that one day), took painting classes since I was a kid, and learned how to embroider, sew, and crochet. I still eagerly learn new skills. Activities such as these also helped me to have a sense of what is beautiful. Of course, I was also taken to the museum and to concerts, and taught about nature. Learning to attune your sense to beauty is important.

The more you learn how to do, the more you become accomplished. To take the time to learn something new, gives you patience but also substance. Especially if you dedicate yourself to the mastery of a skill or a subject. 

Contrary to what one may think, these ladies did not lack depth nor intelligence. It wasn’t only about knowing how to hold a smile.

I’m lucky to be from a culturally diverse background. It gave me the opportunity to learn many languages but also about how to identify different types of social cues in different cultures. All this to make sure I keep my behavior attuned to those of around me and not make them uncomfortable. If you know about someone else’s culture or background you know how to make them feel at ease.

So yes, knowing how to hold herself in society is also part of what makes a lady accomplished.

I was taught by my mother how to behave with others, especially men. It’s about having a sense of propriety. How to receive people and to honor invitations. How to hold a conversation. But I learned more from observing rather than actually being taught.

I was also taught how to make condolences visits, how to support bereaved people, how to be supportive with people who need help, how to be part of a community. Of course, charity work, volunteering have played a big part in my life too and have given me the opportunity to go beyond my own self. Keeping a good inner life is what gives a graceful quality to our outer behavior. It’s more important to work at being a good person than learning a new skill.

All these things I’ve listed in the previous paragraphs can be explained more thoroughly if you wish. But I wanted to mention them because being a victorian lady is more than being good at playing the pianoforte. Lady Catherine de Bourgh would approve.

Most of these things are drawn from my own religion but they reflect the values of 19th century Britain. So maybe your own ethics can help in the matter.

I’m not a social person, I am more of a wild creature of the woods. But I have been so used to being aware of my behavior towards other people that in spite of my mood, I can keep a serene agreeable countenance. Not always unfortunately but most of the time. So much that one day, after leaving party I told my friend that I didn’t feel social at all and I was glad I was going home and she was surprised because I talked with everyone and remained interested in what they were saying. 

It’s not about being fake (please don’t do that) but of not imposing your mood on others. That doesn’t mean saying yes to everything and forcing yourself to be social all the time, but it’s knowing how to hold your own when you don’t feel like it. It’s about saying ‘ok I don’t feel that great but I’ll deal with this after I’ve honored this social situation and once I’m alone or with intimate friends or family.’

I think deportment is also very important. I was vaguely taught about it (I attended some ballet classes as a kid but I didn’t continue)  I think the practice of yoga has helped me better understand how to use my body gracefully. It’s about understanding how to hold yourself, it flows outwards from your own sense of worth and dignity.

Here’s a good illustration from Elizabeth Gaskell’s North & South :

« And as he looked with this intention, he was struck anew with her great beauty. He had never seen her in such dress before and yet now it appeared as if such elegance of attire was so befitting her noble figure and lofty serenity of countenance, that she ought to go always thus appareled. She was talking to Fanny; about what, he could not hear; but he saw his sister's restless way of continually arranging some part of her gown, her wandering eyes, now glancing here, now there, but without any purpose in her observation; and he contrasted them uneasily with the large soft eyes that looked forth steadily at one object, as if from out their light beamed some gentle influence of repose: the curving lines of the red lips, just parted in the interest of listening to what her companion said—the head a little bent forwards, so as to make a long sweeping line from the summit, where the light caught on the glossy raven hair, to the smooth ivory tip of the shoulder; the round white arms, and taper hands, laid lightly across each other, but perfectly motionless in their pretty attitude. »

This is what I mean about deportment. It’s not about the surface but poise, an inner serenity and openness to the world. 

But, without telling you the whole story, I have to just add that the character described here, Margaret Hale, is not only defined as a lady by her behavior at this party but also by her behavior in times of loss, with people in need of help or even people behaving in an uncouth manner. She is also characterized as a lady in her kindness and generosity towards others. These are key to being a proper victorian lady. For this, volunteering for a good cause can benefit your character immensely.

How to be gentle is also an important thing.

Most ladies had servants but they still knew how to run a house and keep a home. These skills are also important but more tedious to describe.

Those are only a few points that I’m exploring but there are many other things that can be said in the subject. And I don’t think there is just one way to go about it. But reading helps, it can help you identify what you want to emulate and what to avoid. I could give you a list of books that can inspire you if you want. :)

Now, having said all of that, I don’t think I’m an expert on the subject. And I’m far from being a perfect lady. There’s a lot of room for improvement. But when I read those novels I feel like these women were raised the same way I was and I feel understood. I don’t think it’s necessarily how everyone should be. There are other skills that I struggle to learn and that would help me better navigate in this world. Skills that were not necessarily taught to victorian ladies...

I simply wasn’t raised to be a career woman (there’s nothing good or bad about it, it’s just how it is) but I was raised to be an accomplished lady. 

I hope this wasn’t too long, and I hope I answered your question. If not, you can ask again. Thank you for asking I enjoyed replying to this.

I’m sorry for any spelling mistakes or forgotten words. I’ve notice I’m more prone to these recently.

[kamijoxversailles]

I'm greedy so do all the mun thingies ♡ - karmas typist

ooc - pffft.... Greedy mun!!!! XD

¯\_(ツ)_/¯:  do you have any tumblr friends? if so, who are they?

I do! I consider several people my friends here, including, but ABSOLUTELY NOT EXCLUSIVELY @moonaeraa and @haidoneko. There are several others. I feel like I become friends with most of the people I rp with.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°):  relationship status?

Single and completely uninterested in mingling. 

ಠ_ಠ:  what is your biggest pet peeve?

When people drop casual misogyny and expect me to think it’s funny. They may not realize they’re misogynistic, but that doesn’t make it funny.

(ಥ_ಥ):  finish this: i hate it when…

I hate it when adults talk about their flaws or what they don’t like about their bodies, while children can hear it. Also, when they talk about how bad their children behave - WHILE THE CHILD HEARS IT! Yes, I’m looking at you, brother dear and sister-in-law!

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ:  what is your favorite animal?

PENGUINS!

(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜):  who is someone you can tell everything to?

My little sister, and my real-life friend Ingunn.

(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ:  are you a hugger?

If I know the person, yes. If they’re a stranger, then no.

(╯°□°)╯︵ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ:  besides tumblr, do you have any other social media?

I have an instagram, nordlysfantasi. I am sorry to say it is very unorganized. I post what I FEEL like. I don’t have a system.

﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿?:  how old are you?

I’ll be 29 years old on May 28th!

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻:  what are your thoughts on school?

An important and good thing. Education is good. I DO believe the system is flawed, and I think it is VERY wrong the way society is focusing on higher education as being the end-all be-all. Not everyone needs a doctorate, you know? We need waiters and hairdressers and garbage workers and grocery store people just as much (or, as this pandemic shows - MORE than!) professors and CEOs. 

| (• ◡•)| (❍ᴥ❍ʋ):  favorite tv show?

Supernatural! Also, I will admit, Botched. I am currently slightly obsessed with Botched...

(ง'̀-‘́)ง:  are you okay?

Right now? Yes. This answer would obviously change from day to day.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:  ･ﾟ✧: sexual orientation?

Lesbian. I’m sex repulsed, though. I will gladly WRITE smut, but... I don’t want to touch or be touched in any sexual way. 

┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴:  are you a people person or a loner?

I’m a people person with some very specific people, or with a wide range of people for a very limited time. I’m GOOD with people. I WORK with people. But except for my very closest friends, I prefer to spend my free time alone. Company I don’t choose myself tires me out VERY quickly.

ლ(ಠ益ಠლ):  do you have any siblings?

Hell yes! Three older brothers, one older sister, and one younger sister! 

ಠ╭╮ಠ:  have you ever self harmed?

Yes. Not in the ways most commonly shown in movies. But yes.

(づ￣ ³￣)づ:  have you ever been in love?

Only with fictional characters~

(☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞:  would you rather be hugged by a bunny or kissed by a doe?

Hugged by a bunny! I don’t like to be kissed or licked by ANYTHING.

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻:  how do you let your anger out?

Crying. I cry a LOT. 

ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ:  are you active?

At work, yes. I work in a daycare. In my free time? Hmm. Uuuuh. Nope. 

ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪:  what are your favorite band(s)/artist(s)?

Kamijo, Versailles, Malice Mizer, Dead End, Buck-Tick, Galneryus, Emilie Autumn, Tori Amos, Priscilla Hernandez, Indica, Dreamcatcher. 

（╯°□°）╯︵(\ .o.)\:  who is your least favorite person?

My dad, my second oldest brother, and his wife (my sister-in-law)

♥‿♥:  tell us about your crush!

I suppose Kamijo is a sort-of crush. I’m lesbian, and not interested in him sexually, but DAMN, he’s handsome, and his voice makes me melt!

◔̯◔:  what time is it?

Right now, it’s 10:31pm.

◕‿◕:  what is your guilty pleasure?

Online, I have no guilty pleasures. I am proud to be me, and like what I like. In real life... Almost everthing I like is a guilty pleasure. I don’t show my art taste to my family, I don’t play my music for them, I seldom tell them what the books I read are about, I would NEVER tell them I watch Botched - a show about plastic surgery. I’d NEVER admit to them that I listen to kpop. My family are.....kinda snobbish. I come from a family that’s full of professional musicians, some of them metal and rock, most of them classical. I’m a classically trained pianist and singer myself. I’ve grown up having pop music and pop stars made fun of in my home.  I’m confident in many things, but when it comes to telling my family that “yeah, I DO like pop music, actually!” that’s just....that’s not gonna happen. Coming out as a lesbian was easier. They’re cultural elitists. 

◔ ⌣ ◔:  are you a virgin?

Virginity is a silly concept born of patriarchal values placed on a woman’s chastity. Most common definitions of virginity mainly mean - have I had a dick inside my vagina? The answer is no, so by that definition, I am a virgin. But I have had sexual experiences, so by less rigid definitions of virginity, no, I’m not a virgin.  So. Why don’t we just get rid of that whole concept, eh?

[tybalt-tisk]

Its a few days late, but here it is! Happy Birthday, @breezycheezyart (Art above is also my Breezy!)

We talked about this Au {BikerBoy!Shiro and his PreppyGirlfriend!Allura} some time ago and I finally decided to write it for you since you liked it so much! You are a blessing to the Shallura community and i’m so happy to call you my friend!

.kitten mittens

//

Allura took another sip of her hibiscus tea and she couldn’t help but close her eyes in delight as the hot drink coated her tongue in liquid gold. She didn’t often dine at this cafe because it was ridiculously overpriced and the clientele was always so pretentious. However, today she made an exception because it was her father’s turn to choose their destination for their weekly lunch date. As much as she disliked this cafe’s uptight demeanor, she had to give them credit for having one of the best tea selections in the city.

She listened eagerly to her father’s weekly report of their family company, Voltron Tech, and asked questions whenever she saw fit. Even though she gave her father the attention she knew he deserved, she couldn’t stop her mind from wandering off. Her perfectly manicured nails danced on the edge of the porcelain cup, creating a song only she knew the lyrics to and her eyes constantly shifted to her watch to check the time.

It had only been 5 minutes that went by after their agreed meeting time but, “Where is he?” she asked herself. She wasn’t annoyed by his tardiness but it was unlike Shiro to run late without telling her first. Out of the two of them, he was always the punctual one.

“Is there something on your mind, Allura?” her father asked her suddenly. When she came back to reality, her father had already received his second cup of coffee. He watched her through his thin-rimmed glasses as he poured in his milk then stirred in just the right amount of sugar.

She felt embarrassment rush over her because she was caught daydreaming. “No, it’s nothing, Father,” she assured him and she looked over the lunch menu in a useless attempt to distract him. Allura herself was extremely observant but she was nothing compared to her father. He sees the things in people they don’t see themselves and Allura was no exception. She was his daughter, heir to a tech empire, and trained from birth. He definitely knew that something was up with her.

Nevertheless, he gave her the chance to speak up before he did. He took a sip of his coffee before he responded. “Are you sure?” he pushed.

She gave a short nod, something she always did when she told him a lie. “Positive.” She read through the expensive French dishes with little to no effort, but at the moment, she wanted nothing more than to enjoy a burger from the shady restaurant on the corner of Richmond and Kirby.

He made an undecipherable sound, one that walked the line between contentment and amusement. He ordered another coffee – black, from the waiter, and told him to make it to-go. He looked over the menu as if it were a newspaper. “It’s unusual for Shiro to be the one running late, is it not?” he said casually without looking up at her.

She was a fool for thinking she could mislead her father. She rolled her eyes and sat back with her arms folded over her chest. “It would seem so,” she responded dryly and Alfor laughed at her display. She always hated it when he told her exactly what was wrong with her before she could admit it herself.

The waiter came back his requested coffee in a fancy to-go cup. Alfor thanked the young server and took the coffee away.

With her arms still folded, Allura raised a brow in confusion. “Why do you need two cups of coffee?”

As soon as she asked the question, she heard the familiar rev of a Kawasaki Vulcan 900 Classic. Her eyes lit up and a smile split her face at the sound. She whipped her head around just in time to see her boyfriend turn the corner before he pulled up in front of the posh cafe.

Allura turned her head towards her father and eyed the coffee that was packaged for travel. She narrowed her eyes at him. “You knew.”

He grinned. “He texted me about 15 minutes ago and informed me that he wasn’t going to be able to stay for lunch.”

“He texted you but not me?” she said in disbelief. “I’m his girlfriend!”

“Maybe he wanted to tell you personally?” He hinted towards Shiro who stood just outside the cafe and gestured for her to come to talk to him outside. “Or maybe, here’s a suggestion, maybe he likes me more than he likes you?” He chuckled when she stuck her tongue out at him.

“You’re insufferable,” she said through a smile as she stood from the table.

She took the hot coffee from the table and walked out to meet her boyfriend. She couldn’t help but feel the thrill of the attention. All eyes were on her as she approached Shiro. By no means did they look like they were from the same social circle. She was an heiress, practically a princess. She attended all of the parties hosted by only the city’s wealthiest and, to her disdain, also the snootiest.

And he was...he was her exact opposite. Clad in all black and full of piercings, he was made of muscle and he stood 6’2”. A scar stood proudly over the bridge of his nose and he wore boots that haven’t been cleaned in days.

And he was hers. Just as much as she was his.

She suppressed a giggle when she heard whispers as she walked towards the door. She absolutely loved the attention she got when she defied society’s expectations of what it took to live like the upper class.

She walked out of the cafe where she came face to face with Shiro. She wanted so badly to be mad at him for not telling her he wasn’t going to stay for lunch, but as soon as she looked into his kind, steely eyes, the words died on her tongue. Instead, she offered him his coffee with a smile. “You’re late, Shirogane.”

He gave her a boyish grin. The same one that she fell in love with the first time she met him and one that will forever be her favorite part of him. He took a step forward and gave her a chaste kiss to lips as a greeting. Deep down, Allura hoped the woman who sent her food back three times fainted at the sight.

“I know I’m late and I’m sorry babe, but…” he paused when he licked his lips and gave her a surprised look. “You taste like flowers. What is that? A new lipgloss?” He was genuinely curious and it made her giggle.

“I was drinking hibiscus tea,” she said. “Do you want some?”

He licked his lips again before he answered. “No thanks. I’m sure it doesn’t taste the same in a cup as it does on your lips.” He gave her a sly wink. She really hoped that bitch was on the floor now. “Anyway, I’m sorry that I’m late and I’m sorry that I can’t stay for lunch.” He paused for the sole reason of dramatic effect. “But I have a good excuse.”

She raised a brow at the look he gave her. “Try me.”

“I got a little distracted,” he told her playfully. “because something else caught my eye.” He rocked on his heels because he found great joy in teasing her. He actually laughed at the look of jealousy in her eyes. “Don’t worry babe, you know no one could ever replace you, buuuut you might have a little competition.”

Before she could speak, he brought out a tiny, black kitten that he somehow had hidden under his leather jacket. It was as big as his hand and it had his purple bandana tied around its tiny neck. Allura held back a squeal of excitement so she wouldn’t startle tiny creature and Shiro knew exactly what she wanted.

Carefully, he rearranged the kitten so he could hand it over to her. “Careful now, I think it’s back leg is hurt,” he warned. The kitten let out a tiny mewl at the new arrangement but quickly found gratification in her warm arms. It purred up against her chest and Allura heart melted at the sight.

Allura ran her hand over its slightly dirty fur. “Shiro where did you find it? It’s absolutely adorable!” She cood.

He reached out a hand rub behind the kitten’s ears. “I found her wandering around in the middle of a busy street. And I couldn’t just leave the little thing there. So I got off my bike so I could stop traffic and get her.”

“Aw, my brave little hero,” she said as she stroked the kittens tail.

“Only the bravest,” he replied. “So I pick her up and she immediately nuzzles into my chest and it’s probably the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I was thinking of dropping her off to that shelter down the street but if you want to keep her…” His voice trailed off with a smirk.

Allura held the kitten closer to her chest and it’s little paw lashed out to play with her silver curls. “Don’t you dare drop of this...this angel to that shelter. Of course, we’re keeping her!”

He chuckled a rich laugh. “I’d thought you’d say that. I’m going to take her to the vet, which is why I have to miss lunch with you and your dad.” He looked behind Allura and into the cafe before he waved boldly at Alfor who smiled warmly and tipped his mug towards Shiro in a greeting.

She nodded, understanding exactly why he couldn’t join them. “That’s fine,” she told him as she held the kitten above her head and giggled at the way it swatted at a passing butterfly. “I don’t think this is your crowd anyway. But I do love seeing their reactions when they see you.”

“Don’t worry, their reaction was amazing. I made sure to wear my best footwear.” He wiggled his dirty shoes for extra measure.

“Those aren’t even yours, those are Keith’s,” she said when she realized.

“Hey, I stuffed my feet in these just for you since you have this weird obsession with wanting people to faint when they see us together.” Oh yes, she loved this man.

“Your effort to encourage my behavior is appreciated. I’ll make sure reward you later.”

“Remember to bring that flower tea,” he said lowly as he snaked an arm around her to bring her closer.

She giggled when she heard glass break from within the cafe. “It’s like music to my ears.” When the kitten mewled again, she shifted her attention back to the black fur ball in her arms. “What are we going to name her, Shiro?”

“I was thinking Black. Because you know, she’s black.”

Allura frowned in disgust at his suggestion. “Shiro, I swear if you name this precious ball of miracles ‘Black’, I’m going to divorce you.”

Shiro laughed at her words but it quickly died down before he said seriously, “You gotta marry me first, Princess.”

Her eyes searched his and when she found not an ounce of sarcasm, she replied. “I suppose I do, huh?”

He smirked. “We’ll see if that can be arranged.” He was back to his teasing ways but Allura knew he was serious. It was only a matter of time before he asked the big question and she had a lifetime to give.

She gave the kitten back to Shiro so he could take their new family member to the vet for a checkup. He got on his bike so he could start it up and the engine roared to life. She leaned over the bike to give him a kiss goodbye.

He returned the kiss chastely, but not as much as he would have liked. He couldn’t care less about the crowd that watched them, but he would rather not make out with Allura in front of her Dad. Reluctantly, he pulled away from her lips. “I’m taking you out to dinner later tonight, okay?”

Her eyes lit up with excitement. “Ooh! Can we go to that burger place?”

“The one on Richmond and Kirby?” She nodded her head enthusiastically. “You got it, baby.” He placed the kitten back under his jacket before backed up his bike carefully onto the road.

She waved to him goodbye before she returned to sit with her father. He let her settle down before he spoke. “Allura, dear, I love this restaurant and I would love it if you didn’t try to burn it down with chaos because you love to prove a point.”

[gg-astrology]

Hi gg..how have you been? Are you into asteroid astrology? I'm familiar with asteroids like Chiron, Juno, Ceres but are there any that relate to music/arts or fortune? Do any of the planet placements give insight to arts as well? Sorry if it's too many questions at once! :)

Hey there!! 💕 Thank you for dropping by!! 💕 I’m not that familiar with the more obscure ones… I think I’m still in the process of learning about them, but I did find something interesting that might be relevant to your interests?💕

[Below Cut: Asteroids -  Nine Muses ]

Note: I can’t believe this is coming from me but this is a long post so please be warned

There’s this thing called the ‘Nine Muses Asteroids’ that might be what you’re looking for (in terms of arts/music) – the asteroids themselves are daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne (if you scroll down, it might give you a better idea of where it applies). 

Since they are muses that– through definition might seem like it applies to the more archaic type of entertainments/artistry, it can still be relevant in our society today. 

I think the most significant thing to take from it is that while we may excel at our artistry/expressions (natural talent in such fields) it doesn’t lead us to success/financial wealth in those fields/industry (or it can, this is just something to be wary of but it doesn’t indicate your success/not, you have to do that yourself!💕) 

The Nine Asteroids

Kalliope [22] 

The asteroid starts with a ‘K’ instead of the ‘C’ it was supposed to be (also: Klio/Clio) – Kalliope is like the General of the muses, she strategizes, take action, blend elements together to create mixture of intelligence and creative expressions together.

I personally think of her similar to Athena in some aspects, although most of these muses are blessed with incredible charm and beauty (in what they reign over) like Aphrodite as well.

With Kalliope, I think of her as sort of a mix between Athena, Aphrodite and Ares. She’s known as the Muse of Epic Poetry, but is also regarded as one of the biggest influence on eloquency, self-assertiveness, wisdom, skills and harmonious influential voice (charm).  She’s powerful in her own rights, despite rumours about whether or not she bears children – she teaches them how to use their gift to their benefits. 

Kalliope can be associated to writing, singing or the teaching of others of creative skills through her own wisdom and action. She’s great at explaining, and with that is wisdom/action-taking influence she often points to areas in which the individual might find them creatively transforming technical information into something that others can access/enjoy/learn from. 

She’s like a story-teller of sorts, she can also indicate dynamic/power or impactful speeches/writings the user utilizes. See where Kalliope is in your chart and if it’s aspecting anything (signs/houses/other placements) to check if it’s taking effect to anything specifically (*orb should be around 1′30 or less)  

*If you want a more material example of Kalliope : articles, non-fiction writing pieces, researches/essays, reports/documentaries, journalism pieces, life-reflective art pieces, singing, news reporting, etc.  

Erato [62] 

Muse of Love Poetry. This is like inspiration (muse) that shifts the narrative, it may come from love/passion for something/someone. Think of eros but with more fever – with Erato, it indicates both the need for space (in order to creativity to transpire) but also ‘freshness’ of love (not infatuation, but really just love). 

However, Erato doesn’t always have to indicate (through aspects) that these individuals write/speak about their loved ones (at least not always in synastry). They may however find that they inspire others by their speech, impacting others through their emotionality/passion and the dynamic of their love 

(Contrast between Erato and Kalliope is where the inspiration comes from.  With Erato it’s often clear that it’s coming from a place of emotional impact– love, inspiration, desire, passion. While Kalliope might talk more about the manifestation/transformation of the technical into self-asserted creativity/impact of the material/subjective forms.)  

Nor does Erato indicate that it can be successful venue for work. Although personal popularity might be implied– the individual might have to choose between their love/desire/passion and what it is they have/can do (sort of like being separated from their one true love – if this is badly aspected)  

To my understanding, it can also talk about music, writing or the arts (or all three) depending on the user themselves (and what it’s aspected to). It’s more associated with feeling love/passion and creativity for it, rather than the actual action-aspect of the asteroid. 

Erato is described as being charming, so this might indicate a harmonious (almost venusian) impact on others as well. She might become the muse to those around her if you think about it like this (in the context of popularity). 

*If you want a more material example of Erato: novels, particularly fictional ones that includes themes that may or may not involve adult contents. Mostly though, just an overlying theme of romance in the works themselves. 

Euterpe [27] - 

Muse of Music, Song, Lyric and Poetry. With Euterpe this is less about harmonious/subdued form of expression (personal popularity) but more about the thrill and joy of expressing the self.

In this case, Euterpe asteroid looks at where the person may experience a desire to give their self-expression at a core level; particularly as a performance or a ‘sharing joy with others’ kind of way (space for it to manifest if it makes sense, I think of her kind of like Artemis in a way).

While Erato may be more personal (sometimes it happens one on one basis) and Kalliope may concern more of the masses (if it’s aspected towards ‘public’ sphere where it can reach it’s audience)– Euterpe doesn’t have a ‘set’ public, it’s more about sharing this self-expression however it can. 

Which in our context, can point to self-publishing mediums/hobbies (i.e. youtube, blogposts, twitter, soundcloud etc.)    

Euterpe’s role is mainly concerning composition of the arts, the creation stage where you combine both your desire, ability and goals together. It’s an experimental spirit almost, in which if you think about composing a song– you have to mix a few things together and ‘test’ it out until it makes sense for you.

The same applies to writing, where you might follow the ‘progression’ of a story– but the content inside is something of personal interest/dynamic to you and your readers. Euterpe’s role is both experimental in nature (creative freedom) but also and alignment of goals together. 

Most of the time, her desires doesn’t have to be traditional. It’s often unconventional or progressive, sometimes can even ‘push’ the envelope a little if that was her desired ‘goal’ she wants to experiment towards.

Another thing to note is that she can sometimes be depicted wearing a laurel wreath, this can indicate the prosperity (and what you might consider ‘success’) or fame if it’s aspected well. 

The Aulos (kind of like flute) she plays can also indicate/symbolize the voice of the user being heard at a wider range without them noticing. (*this is just my own interpretation of it). Which– if you take that as popularity/success, can also be indicated if you read how she’s aspected.  

*If you want a more material example of Euterpe: musicians, producers, composers, lyricists, DJ, radio hosts, classical musicians to musical performers. Playing in a rock band to youtube covers. 

Thalia [23] - 

Muse of Comedy. May often offers wit, sharpness of tongue and a keen sense of humor that may throw others off-guard (in a good way) as a form of self-expression. 

This makes for a great TV personality (variety shows) as well as personal thinker/trainers who finds inspirational yet unconventional ways to help others achieve their goals.     

Thalia’s comedy/sense of wit also talks about the impact of their effect withstanding the test of time. Success in this case may come in being remembered for their phrases/original thinking.  

Imagine being between Mars-Jupiter, on one hand she doesn’t hold herself too seriously (thus sometimes she’s depicted as kind of mischievous). She prefers the sharpening her wit/skills with those who truly has skills– not someone’s statues/popularity/fame that got them to her. 

Thalia doesn’t talk about popularity through society class or advancement of classes in order to be considered successful, it’s success in terms of getting to flourish in her own ways. To experience and learn and the active sharpening of her skills. 

*If you want a more material example of Thalia: comedian, personalities, performers, comedian, sit-com writers, comedy writers, comic writers, cartoonists, satirical writers/pisces

Terpsichore [81] -

Muse of Dance, particularly the range/movement of the body and our ability to interpretate gestures/expressions in subtle charms – whether we’re dancing or not. Her charm lies in how effortlessly she makes it look, as well as her dominion over schoolings over the same discipline as hers. 

She made it look effortless because she has mastery over the craft through hard-work/experience. 

Terpsichore embodies creative freedom that comes from layers of hard work and control over her own body. In some cases this might also talk about flexibility, agility and the body expressing a translation/interpretation that came from other mediums (into it’s own self-expression).

Terpsichore has subtle charms even when she’s not dancing, it’s a sense of power/charm that comes with innate controlling of the body– maybe through posture or the way they walk that shows adequate/knowledge over their form (a good aspect)  

The main thing to remember about Terpsichore is that it’s not always harmonious, the end result may resolve in power/peace– but the path to it is through hard-work/leading the self through those transformation with a focused mind. 

Terpsichore doesn’t necessarily indicate solo/independent successes (by itself). Since Terpsichore can often talk about accompanying others with their skills, the Terpsichore may experience successes through collaborations (with a music/muse/artists/sponsor) or within the same group of Terpsichore as them. 

*If you want a more material example of Terpsichore: dancer, physiologist, physical therapist, massage therapist, chiropractitioner, fitness trainer, musical director, musical performer, dance teacher/unit, choreographer, producer (*to something physical related, maybe even martial arts), martial artists  

Polyhymnia [33] -

Muse of Hymns, Geometry, Meditation, particularly those that may be hidden behind a ‘veil’ of sorts (like in a studio, through a screen/youtube, actors behind camera– as well as rhetoric and mimicry– recitation of lines/roles and critical thinking) 

Polyhymnia has many stories to say, residing over songs, patterns, mathematical shapes, contemplation but also agriculture/gardening and spiritual secracy. Often she is known for many things, just the same as the user who may have many different interests.

She may deliver the indicator of someone who may be able to pursue different mediums in their careers, based on a stable ‘pillar’ they’ve built at their core/for themselves (regarding what they want to express). 

The main thing about Polyhymnia is that she is less– extroverted than her sister Thalia or even Terpsichore– she’s often a lot more collected, serene, sometimes even meditative in her posture/demeanor. 

It talks about strength in the self, that doesn’t have to be necessarily shown off. But through that modesty, also comes many mysterious praise from others around her (deriving from her name). 

Because she’s kind of — collected and secretive (without frivolity) she often’s more about the sophisticated arts/thinker between the realm. This makes great actors particularly when they need to ‘break’ into a character/roles, or those who may require to ‘embody a certain emotion’ for their singing. 

She also does well for behind the scenes work, such as those running the industries. Writers, producers, poets. Anything that needs a little more control and focused work into the details. She has the gift of diving deeper into things with steady mediation. 

Polyhymnia is mostly seen making aspects to those who have been writers in their formative years, because she brings praises– this often indicate successes in which their thinking/mind and the pillars they’ve built for others having been carried through in time. (Past their lifetimes/history)    

*If you want a more material example of Polyhymnia: writers, poets, actors, therapists, screen-writers, play-wrights, think-pieces. 

Klio [84] -

Muse of History,  but most commonly Fame. 

I think this might be what you’re pointing to when you mention success, but in Klio’s case it’s more about the immortalization of the person’s work/body of work that makes it through history (or learning from history in order to make success work – it could also indicate the area of which the person may come across fame as well) 

The name Klio derives from ‘to make famous’ – thus, the expression in this case isn’t about the artistic but more about the self (non-personal sometimes). 

It could talk about the person themselves, or manifestation of marketing/advertising that lead them to fame (by modern association to the term). 

Klio celebrates the success of themselves as well as the success of others, it’s a celebration that doesn’t have to do with personal (emotional) satisfaction so much as recognition from others that their work is successful (as a group/whole– think of like those annual award ceremonies) 

 Klio can talk about academic success, or ‘formal/official’ success if it’s aspected significantly/nicely. Academic texts/studies as well as declaration of the person’s success from others can also be part of what it could indicate (*this is my own interpretation).

*If you want a more material example of Klio: writers, researchers, academics, journalling (creative kind– like Anne Frank or Pliny the Younger who recorded events) poets.  

Melpomene [18] 

Muse of Tragedy, but in this case it’s more like Thespian in nature than actual tragedy befalling on the person. 

Melpomene and the way I interpret her is like the other sister to Erato (to make it easier to think about). 

She deals with the manifestation/actualization of the work as well as the self-expression that mirrors the depth of Erato’s passion – but more towards the tragedy-kind (And what comes with it: sadness, anger, disappointment– layers and depth of emotions) 

Melpomene is also talented in singing, because she used to be the Muse of Chorus (thus, reflective of those around her/empathetic and uses their expressions to vividly ‘play’ back what they go through for entertainment )

The thing about tragedy is that it’s memorable, comparatively the mundane or certain ‘happiness’ may be less prone to sticking into our conscious than the experience we’ve had when we befallen.

Melpomene doesn’t just indicate learning from the experience, she talks about transforming the pain/mundane/happiness into art that sticks.

Graphics creators (like mood boards/photographs) that sets these solemn moods are part of what might be applied by Melpomene (although it could largely just be another asteroid as well).

But mostly, the ability to inhabit emotional depth of others and use it actively (*important) to transform/translate into our self-expression is where Melpomene’s strength lies. 

*If you want a more material example of Melpomene: writers particularly horror/thriller or tragedy (angst)/drama writers. TV series producer/writers, graphic designers (reflects the human psychology) architect/designers, actors, singers, psychologist/therapists or those who works to reflect/help others. 

Urania [30] - 

Muse of Astronomy which back then is also Astrology, what this indicate is not just the scientific pursuit of knowledge but also the creative interpretation and freedom of such expressions as well. 

Urania is the oldest of the daughters, she embodies both wisdom but also unconditional/universal love and patience/love for philosophy. 

In a way, think of Urania as part of a universal force. If you put in time to study and really transcend your ideology/expressions into something, she’ll make sure your vibration for the imaginary to transcend material expectations (like that ‘transcending mind’ meme)

She governs mostly in the liberal arts area (as well as the more traditional/entertainment arts) but this might have more to do with the individual minds and the creative pursuit inside one self (similar to the moon, the subconscious/spirituality within the person) 

She offers healing/refugee to those in needs (like shelters) and thus– she can often be found in prophetic or sometimes religious individuals. 

*If you want a more material example of Urania: spiritual speeches/writing pieces, self-care/self-help, predictive writings, astronomy/astrology, 

Alternatively

You can also check:

Melete [56] 

Mnemosyne [57]

Bacchus [2063]

Apollo [1862] 

(Note: Becareful of Apollo because it can also indicate areas in which you may become obsessive/imbalanced onto something, so that you may have natural talent for/mastery in the area– but that may lead you to ignoring the obvious lessons it’s trying to teach you to have. Be more humble, basically.) 

For beginners: check for where Taurus/Pisces/Leo is on your chart, as well as Pars Fortunae and aspects to Pallas if it’s relevant. 

This is very broad, but it’ll help with learning how to interpret the basics for someone else as well.

More specific asteroids, try:

Harmonia [40] - Musical talent

Photographica [443] - photographs, visuals, graphic designs

Daedalus [1896] - designers, craftmanship, architect (*but also be cautious, because Daedalus was the one who created wings for Icarus’s flight) 

Poesia [946] - poetry, lyrical thinker (musing), composers

If you have any signs/indicators pointing towards these, please be sure to check the aspects being made with it. This is important because it can point to success as well as oppositions, so make sure to take note of those.

The Nine Muses might help you understand the direction/creative force that you’re being pushed towards, but you make the choice on what you want to pursue. It’s indicating talent/vocation that will help you in your career/muse so use it to your benefit. 💕

Also sorry for the long explanation and notes. There’s really no way out of this. To really understand the asteroids you might have to look up at the lore and study the characterization of these daughters, they all symbolize similar messages – but the way they embody them is different.

How To Read

Try to see if these asteroids lands in important areas of your life (houses) and what aspect it’s making to your axis (ASC/MC) or your planets (within a 1′30 orb preferably)

It could also indicate other people’s musical-artistic influences on you (i.e. it’s aspecting your IC) and also you may become a muse to others as well. Make sure to read aspects thoroughly. 

Ending Ment

I know this is very long and lengthy and probably doesn’t make much sense. But I hope you can gain something out of it ;; Honestly I’m not too strong on this topic as well, so definitely try to study on the asteroids yourself as well if you have time 💕

[nazamax]

All the sweetheart asks. Heh.

Are you kidding me... It took me AGES.

Talk about your first love.It was young and foolish. Full of hidden kisses, rules we’d both break, nightly sneaking out. Holding hands when we’d be alone and me teasing her whenever there were eyes on us. Quite dumb, when I think about it. It was fun while it lasted.

What’s the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard in your opinion?The most beautiful songs are those who have memories that are dear and important connected to them.

How’s your heart feeling right now?A little hurt, still, however I can feel it heal. It’s a wonderful feeling.

What kind of self care is your favorite to do?Is working out self care? Because I do enjoy that. If not... I do enjoy letting myself turn off the phone fully, cook a delicious meal and let myself game for few hours. I don’t have much time for that in my life since it’s quite busy so I find it truly relaxing.

What’s your skincare routine?I use a cleanser, moisturizer daily. Sunscreen, lip balm and hand cream if needed.

How did you get to be so beautiful?I worked hard on it, haha. Thanks.

Do you have any stuffed animals?I actually have a few still back in London, haha.

Best trip you’ve ever been on?It’s hard to choose between Japan and Nice. Those are my favourite places to be.

Favorite thing about your room?I love the roof-windows. It’s nice to wake up to the sun lighting up the room so neatly.

Opinion on love?It’s something that shouldn’t be toyed with - the phrase “I love you” can be told without actual meaning behind it - one should be more careful about it. It can hurt, it can be ugly. It takes patience and time. It’s not all about kisses and sex, beauty and smiles. It’s about seeing the ugly parts of someone you want in your life, accepting them and working on with them. Love doesn’t change you, it only pulls out the new parts of you that you weren’t sure of.

Are you affectionate?Oh, I am.

Who do you look up to?That’s a great question. In a way - I guess it’s my mother. She’s a wonderful woman who has it all in life.

Favorite poet?I don’t have one.

Song that makes you happy? How about one that calms you down when you’re in a bad place?Aaron Smith's  Dancin' & STRFKR - Golden Light.

Do you play an instrument?I can play a few chords on guitar haha.

Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)?I’m not really good at it, I can make sketches with pencils though.

Do you dance? What style of dance?I remember learning to dance classical stuff like waltz and all, but really? If club-dancing is a thing, I’m good at that.

What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology?I’m capricorn. I don’t actually follow the things, never was too interested, but it’s fun to read horoscopes or see stuff that actually turns out to be true.

Favorite old film?A tough one... I love The Shining.

What’s your hairstyle?Ranging between neat medium cut to buzzcut.

What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion?I love the opposites - both when it’s chilly, you can snuggle up in your favourite sweaters with your fingers wrapped around a cuppa tea as well as hot days when you can sunbathe for hours.

What upsets you most about the world?Humans. Society. We destroy Earth, we destroy each other. There are so many things that are wrong in this world that it’s hard to name them all.

Are you in love right now?I am, yes.

Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them!I remember the first time I realised I actually have a crush on them. They sat across me, smiling, drinking their margarita, with a smile so bright and warm I could catch myself staring almost rudely. Whenever they’d look in my direction I couldn’t help but look away and act as if I wasn’t interested too much, laugh with someone else at our table and just nod and smile to my crush. On that evening I knew I was fucked. Not literally, of course.

Do you have pets? Talk about something sweet about them!I don’t have any pets.

Do you have a lucky number?No, I don’t.

Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash?Yes and yes.

Do you believe emoji spells to work?What’s an emoji spell?

Do you believe in magic in general?I’m more of a science guy haha.

What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion?To be able to shape your life as you want it. Life is full of possibilities and you can have all you want - you just have to put work in it. I don’t mean you can force relationships or anything that concerns other people, but reaching one’s goals? Go for it. Create yourself. Be you. That’s beautiful.

Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue?I do like both colours, actually.

What instrumental sound is your favorite?I do like the sound of guitars... But I can’t choose, sorry.

Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain?I enjoy both of these.

Who makes you happy?@cowieadam haha.

What makes you happy?To see where my life is going to. Despite all the dark times I’ve gone though, I’m happy with the outcome.

Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like?The way that it is now. I wouldn’t change a thing. I don’t want “ideal”, I don’t want “perfect”.

Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup?I do wear it whenever I’m having my photos shot, but I don’t really know what kind of stuff they use - it’s always different.

Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own?No.

Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it?Yes. Usually I take it out in a boxing ring, by travelling somewhere with my camera or crying it out alone.

Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them?I have a few, actually, I can’t choose one.

Introvert or extrovert?Ambivert.

Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI?I’ve never done the test but I definitely should!

Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, a or an angel?Perhaps an angel. Fairies are too small, mermaids... Good take but I’d pass, same with sirens. Vampires are cool but I love sun too much.

What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you?I really can’t remember.

Parlez-vous français?Oui, je parle français!

Most beautiful place you’ve been to?Ohhh this is so hard to choose! I did love the alps back in Italy, I loved the Tokyo metropolis, I love my home back in Russia...

Where/when do you truly feel at home?Both Volgograd and London.

Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is goreous!Yes, smiling helps!

Favorite shoe you own?My white nike sneakers. They’re a little worn out and I have more than one pair that look better than these, but I love wearing them when I travel somewhere to the nature.

Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them?I don’t.

Do you feel loved?Yes, definitely.

How do you express love to those you care about?It depends on the person and how they decide to accept my love so there’s no answer for that that could be universal.

Favorite term(s) of endearment?Котик/darling/babe.

Most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you?The latest thing that is stuck in my memory - a date to a museum, followed by an evening picnic by the lake and enjoying the boat ride there. I found it lovely...

When is the happiest you’ve ever been?Now.

Are you happy right now?Yes.

What makes you smile?Currently - two kids fighting over a remote ahaha.

Do you laugh a lot?I guess?

What’s your favorite kind of aesthetic?I have few in mind but... Sun tanned skin, red wine, yellow houses, sunflowers, sea, the sound of waves crashing, distant voices, a smile of a beloved one, sunglasses. Something that takes me back to Italy.

Do you want to marry for love or for some other reason (like money)?For love.

What would your dream wedding look like? Do you want to get married?I never thought about it and perhaps it’s something I’ll leave for the future. Eventually though - perhaps if it’s the right person.

Favorite flower?Peonies. They remind me of France.

Favorite artist?Again, I can’t choose one! I’ll go with Warhol.

Favorite music artist?Picking a favourite is hard! I don’t know haha.

How kind do you think you are? Is kindness important to you?I think I’m kind to those that deserve it and show it back. I think it’s very important to show consideration.

Ever made a playlist for someone?I think some years ago, yeah.

Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath?Again, I do enjoy going to the gym because my mind moves forward from sadness and pushes me forward. I as well enjoy hot relaxing baths or cuddling up on a couch and my favourite cushion.

Early bird or night owl?A bird that doesn’t sleep enough, for sure.

Morning routine?Wake up, shave, wash my face, jump into sneakers and my running outfit, go for a run, come back, set water for coffee to boil, take a shower, get the breakfast.

Night routine?I don’t have anything specific for nights.

What is the most lovely quality a person could have in your opinion?Being able to see past the differences, accepting more than they know.

Do you cry often? Does crying help you get the emotions out? Do you feel better after?I don’t cry too often, at least not anymore.

Do you like hugs?Oh, yes!

When was the last time you kissed someone?This morning.

Are you small or tall?Tall.

Do you like wholesome memes?YES!

Favorite thing about the past?I’ve learned a lot about myself and the world itself. It made me who I am.

Do you ever wonder about the future?Naturally yes.

Have you ever lived in a different country than you currently live in?Yes. France, Russia, Italy.

Do you like plane flights? Airports?I do, something relaxing about them.

Sunrises or sunsets?Both have their own magic.

The beach or a forest?I go to beaches more often but I enjoy the forest.

What time of day do you tend to be in the best mood?Past noon.

Do you push yourself to act together and in a good mood even when you aren’t?Yes, my job taught me that.

Favorite kind of tree?Acacia. Though it’s more of a shrub, but still.

Do you care about the health of the Earth?I try to, yes.

What did you like most about your childhood, if anything?Mom’s cooking...

Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book?I love reading. I always wanted to read Camus’ L’etranger and honestly? I loved it.

What are you most nostalgic for at the moment?For the beautiful memories I spent with the wrong person.

What’s your favorite personality trait you have?I’m determined. No matter what.

List at least ONE thing you love about your appearance.My dimples haha.

When was the last time you truly felt calm, without much of anything to worry about?This night.

Do you worry a lot?I tend to, but I’m working on that.

The dazzling lights of the city or the relaxing countryside?Oh, both. I love both of these experiences...

Ever changed the shoelaces on one of your shoes? For what reason?My ex’s cat stole it so I had to.

Favorite pastry?A hard choice between crème brûlée and medovik.

Do you like doing little acts of kindness?I do, makes others and self smile.

How’s your day/night going?It’s great, I’m a little sore but that’s nothing too bad. ;)

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: Homecoming

Masterpost

6x02: Homecoming

I really need to knock the rest of these out -- hopefully soon I will! But man, there’s a lot more in season 6 than you might realize.  A lot of these episodes are pretty packed.  

At the beginning of the episode, we get a lot more Blaine-meta-ish things, and the one thing I’d like to pull from it is that Blaine’s getting therapy.  Yup, that’s right, both these boys are getting their heads checked by a professional - and that’s a good thing! Look, I don’t think Kurt and Blaine are going to live a 100% perfect and happy life-  no couple can accomplish that, but the fact that they’re both trying to better themselves is a huge thing, and recognizing that is a step forward in becoming adults (I mean, not even adults make the best choices to better their mental health).  So yeah, they might not patch up things perfectly, but I think there’s a lot of subtext (cause Glee’s always been subtext) that shows they’re both in better places by the time season 6 starts. 

The New Monday Night Dinner

So, because Will is a character again (ug) we start having Monday night dinners at his place (ug, ug).  Okay, it’s not really that - but he’s supposedly having all the show choir directors over for a friendly chat? How convenient that they’re all former students.  And why is Sam there? You know what - I’m not gonna think too hard about this. 

The main thing is that Rachel and Kurt are already having issues being co-directors because it’s Rachel and Kurt. 

And then Blaine arrives and Kurt feels super awkward about it.  I mean how do you act when you’ve dumped the person you love the most in the world and now have to be in a semi-casual social situation with them with your former teacher, former roommate whom your ex once made out with and who will some day carry your child, and former dude whom you both had a crush on.  This show is weird guys.  

Anyway, Kurt’s actually happy to see Blaine - even if Blaine is totally ignoring Kurt’s there.  And then Will turns the conversation to ‘everyone be nice to each other’, which lasts about five seconds when they try to give Blaine some advice about a girl being in the Warblers and Blaine is unsure about it.  It’s awkward.  But hanging out with your ex whom you aren’t actually speaking to at this moment is always gonna be awkward.  

Getting the Gang Back Together

Um, what even is this outfit trying to say, Kurt?  Are you the colorful walking dead? 

Anyway - Rachel and Kurt start their tenure as semi-teachers by organizing sheet music.  And let’s just say it -- they both have the most absurd way of doing it.  Just -- no, genre than artist, that’s it you weirdos.  But of course, Kurt would do it by emotion.  

You know what - say what you will about Kurt and Blaine’s communication -- Rachel and Kurt have by far less communication going on.  They’ve worked for two hours at ‘organization’ before they realized they were doing two different things.  Oh Hummelberry.  

Anyway, we get another argument from them - cause that’s what they do best.  And Kurt basically says what should have been said hours ago - that this is pointless without members.  However, if he’s doing his work study here (don’t ask me to define what exactly his work study is - I don’t get it either), shouldn’t he be proactive, too, in getting kids to sign up?  And what’s with the defeatist attitude Kurt? Kid’s still got issues relating to his break-up.  

(It’s also times like these that I do wish we had gotten a final career related story for Kurt, but alas, all the things we never had). 

Anyway, Kurt storms out as he usually does when having a fight and made his point.  

So - after a scene of Rachel following a disembodied voice to the men’s locker room -- we get Kurt meeting her in the auditorium and, sigh, apologizing for hurting her feelings.  Again.  Cause he’s never done that before.  

I think I’m tired of Hummelberry, guys.  

Anyway - weirdly, he apologizes for the things he said in the previous scene about her life.  Which, um, is weird - cause he didn’t actually take any personal shots at her -- which means they edited out some extra dialogue.  Man, I wish they had left that in - but can’t be too mean to Rachel.  

Anyway - Rachel says, yeah, they have to be proactive in getting people to join us - so she’s pulled in some favors.  Idk why Kurt is so -- who did you bring in Rachel?!?  He could have easily figured it out.  

Well everyone is all the former cast members who are still living and aren’t really part of the main cast anymore.  It’s Homecoming - so it seems fitting.  Though, I have to say.  Everyone looks like they’ve aged about ten years -- which isn’t a bad thing, it just means this little coda of a season would have felt better placed much further in the future.  

Anyway - Kurt’s surprised and happy to see all his old friends.  I have to say though - I miss that Blaine isn’t there.  I know he can’t because plot and the fact they’re trying to reset back to season 2 but still. 

Anyway - who cares if any of this makes sense, we have the gang back together again. 

Go they gather everyone in the choir room and explain that they need help getting the kids to join.  And Kurt’s super frigidity.  Huh.  I think there’s some room to explore Kurt as someone who is an anxious kid with minor OCD tendencies.  Cause that feels very apparent here.  

It’s funny that they rattle on about how much they need their friends to band together and save glee club because the school needs it -- when really, both Rachel and Kurt need it.  I mean, that is kind of the point of this season, but...  it’s just interesting to think about.  I mean, it’ll come full circle when Kurt talks about choosing another path to take at the end of the season.  They both hit rock bottom and now they’re looking for something to fill the space that will help them get back on the right track.  And their cause is saving the glee club.  

Hm.  It’s just interesting that this season of Glee is kind of one last stop in Lima before going out in to the world to really be the person you’re supposed to be.  I’m sorry the story wasn’t developed a tad more (except in the case of Rachel) but that’s what it is.  It’s almost fitting, then that I’m wrapping these up with the same kind of mentality.  It’s nice to have that one last thought and move on.  Anyway -- I’m getting meta on myself, lol... 

So - their brilliant plan is to sing in the school - cause that’s always worked in the past, lol.  And they do an 80s classic - because it’s Glee and the last season and Ryan Murphy has to get in all those hits that he didn’t use yet. 

But I think what stands out to me about this performance is that it’s less about the lyrics (which I don’t think make much sense anyway) and more about the visual style.  They’re recreating the music video, yes, but also adding the same elements of style used in the video -- the whole running from the police (Sue) thing, and it’s really pretty cool.  

You can’t get a really good luck at Kurt’s 80s outfit - but here it is, and this goober is just having a lot of fun dancing on the tables and singing in his high register.  It’s nice that they’ve now fully incorporated Chris’s voice into the group numbers -- especially when he’s not going to be singing much on his own.  

Gay Legacy

So, I guess later that day, Kurt goes to try to recruit the gay football player.  Cause, damn, if Ryan Murphy still is clinging on to his closested football player issues.  I really don’t know why Kurt’s wasting his time -- Spencer obviously doesn’t want to be a part of the team, nor have we seen any indication that he actually has some kind of performing arts talents.  But I suppose this scene is supposed to be a commentary on the current state of the LGBT community.  

Actually, that’s exactly what it’s about and it’s kinda fascinating.  The thing about this conversation is to show just how far things have come from 2009.  Society has become more accepting of the LGBT community (obviously, it’s got a long ways to go - but from when Glee started, a lot of progress has been made).  And we’re now here talking about different types of LGBT people.  Kurt can’t and isn’t the catch all for gay anymore - that definition has widen (even if it’s always been that wide and diverse, we can now, as a society, have that conversation).  And now even gay kids can have various inspiration to pull on - it doesn’t have to be musicals, it can be Modern Family.  And that even though Kurt and Spencer share a preference for men, doesn’t make them any more similar than any other two guys. 

So, yeah, it’s interesting that this scene (and the following one that Kurt’s not in) has less to do with the story and recruitment, as it is Glee’s usual way of knocking down the fourth wall and saying - yeah, okay so we’re not relevant like we used to be, but we did have an impact.  

Meanwhile, in actual story time - we get to remember that Kurt was once on the football team -- and learn that Spencer is an asshole, and I’m still not sure why Kurt’s trying so hard to recruit him. 

Recruitment

Kurt next pops up when Brittany is giving him advice on how to win Blaine back -- which involves burning all his clothes (yes, nude Kurt) but getting normal clothes (um, he’s been dressing ‘normally’ for a while now), and then being honest with him (yes do that!) about being a Barbara Bush impersonator (wtf Brittany?).  Kurt’s equally confused as the rest of us and moves on with his life as he should.  

However - I have to wonder - did they know at this point that Brittany was gonna try to get them back together? I have no idea.  None of Brittany’s actions make sense most of the time, so I shouldn’t think too much about it. 

Meanwhile - the main issue is that they’ve all failed to recruit members - mostly because none of them really know what they hell they’re doing.  But then Roderick’s magical voice floats through the vents (sure) and they’re all mystified and run to go find him.  

They find Roderick in the library - and why do they all look terrifying in this scene?  Come join the cult - Roderick, lol.  Anyway - they get a new member.  

And I’ll take a second and talk about the season 6 newbies - who are actually pretty interesting.  They aren’t cut from the same cloth of the originals as the season 4 newbies, their story lines all converge with existing characters, and we’re not forced to sit through any awkward love triangles.  They served a function and it worked, too bad this didn’t happen way back in season 4 - the show might have lasted longer. 

And then we get a long speech about what it is to be in glee.  Cause apparently we needed that reminder.  Kurt doesn’t say anything but nod in the background as other people give speeches.  Ah yes, we’re back in season 1 again aren’t we. 

Roderick auditions for Glee -- cause tradition - and Kurt... doesn’t really do anything.  But he’s there looking pretty so... 

First Meeting

So, ha, okay.  Roderick is their only recruit and he shows up and Kurt has this nice speech about how you can’t go back again, but maybe you can make something new and better out of the ashes of the old thing.  And I think that’s kind of cool -- because it’s not just about glee or his career, but about his relationship with Blaine.  Like I said earlier, even though they’re all home again, the point is to go in a, god help me, new direction -- one that’s better than before, and as we’re coming to the ending of the show, I kind of like that there’s a sentiment that says - yeah you can and are allowed to start over and do things again.  Second chances are a thing. 

However, they’re stopped quickly because Blaine comes in, screaming about how Jane was poached by Rachel and will now be in New Directions instead of the Warblers.  Blaine, who is clearly still angry (and very confused about his emotions) at Kurt blames Kurt for making it all happen -- which is ridiculous, but c’mon Kurt, Blaine’s allowed to have some residual issues.  Kurt even tries to say that it’s fine because the Warblers have a lot of people and New Directions don’t - but Blaine’s pushing back.  Which is actually a good thing, tbh, even if he is a little off the handle here.  Blaine’s no longer going to be a doormat - and that works much better for the balance of he and Kurt in the long run.  

Kurt and Blaine are on their way to being on equal footing again, but here there’s still a lot of pain that hasn’t been healed yet.  Subtext!! 

Homecoming

Alright, so official glee club has started! And they get two more members as the weird cheerleader twins join.  And it’s all happiness and joy as this new/final chapter has officially begun. 

And then we get the final number - Home - where Kurt gets to sing in his lovely lower register.  :D  And the Homecoming celebration officially starts.  It’s a little weird to see the kids doing something so high school normal, lol, but hey it’s a fun time to celebrate.  

So, um, Kurt, Sam, and Artie go spy on Spencer because -- tradition? I mean, that’s one of the themes of episode.  Let’s go with tradition. 

Anyway, being back is actually kinda bittersweet for Kurt because being back home means that there are still a lot of unresolved issues from the past to deal with. 

Blaine and Karofsky are there - and Blaine is intentionally not looking at Kurt, as Kurt looks like he’s been stabbed in the heart watching from afar.  The song plays on - Home is when I’m with you.  Well, Rachel and Mercedes and McKinley is home, but there’s a bit ‘home’ that’s missing in Kurt’s heart.  We’re gonna get there - but we do have a little ways to go. ;) 

[joyofcrime-elinorhigh]

Frosty Returns REVIEW:

Hello there, everybody. My name is JoyofCrimeArt and welcome to the second review in my month long "Deviant-cember" special event. Christmas time is right around the corner and I don't know about you, but I'm loving it. Christmas is awesome! (No offence to any non Christian or non practicing readers out there. I'm sure your holidays are awesome to, I guess have no personal experience in that department.) The music, the decorations, the food, and the festive feeling of kindness towards your fellow man are all things that make this time of year so wonderful! But one of my favorite parts of the Christmas season is all of the Christmas specials. I love Christmas specials. Every year I make it my personal mission to watch as many as I can, from classics like "Rudolph" and "Charlie Brown", to the more contemporary specials like "Olive the Other Reindeer" and "Yes, Virginia." And that's not even counting the really frickin' out there Christmas specials, like "T.I and Tiny's Holiday Hustle." an animated special about hip hop artist T.I. and his family having to team up with an elf in order to save Christmas. Yes, this exist! But that's a review for another day... 

(THIS EXISTS!)  Today, I want to talk about a different holiday special. A holiday special that features significantly less hip hop and also significantly less holiday. That special would be the 1992 animated tv special "Frosty Returns."

"Frosty Returns" is the a um....sequel?.....Reboot?.....Cash grab? -Of the original Rankin-Bass Frosty special from 1969. This special, however, was not created by Rankin-Bass, but rather Broadway Video's and directed by Bill Melendez. Bill Melendez is most well known for his work on the four theatrical Charlie Brown movies, and this special shares a similar art style to those old Peanuts cartoons.  I'm going to be honest here, while I do like the original Frosty the Snowman special, it was always one of the lesser Rankin-Bass holiday specials in my opinion. Like it's not bad or anything, and I use to like it a lot more when I was younger, but it just seems kinda bland compared to some of the other specials. In the original special Frosty was never a super interesting character, and Karen had even less personality then Frosty. The overall story, at least in my opinion, was never super enticing. I guess I've just always been more of a "Santa Claus is comin' to Town." type of guy. Now I don't hate the special by any means, I watch it ever year, and there are stuff in it worth watching. Professor Hinkle is a fun villain, the scene with Frosty melting is genuinely sad, and it's really fun seeing the original crew just go completely bonkers with the sound effects. (Though that part I don't think was intentional.) Sorry if I piss off any die hard Frosty fans out there, (I'm looking at you, little brother!) but I just felt like I needed to show my background with the original Frosty the Snowman special before I start talking about this special. Does this special hold up to the original, or is it just a pale imitation of a true holiday classic? Let's find out together, shall we.  The special begins with our weird uncanny valley narrator. A weird uncanny valley narrator is a Frosty the Snowman tradition at this point, and is usually some kind of celebrity who was popular at the time of the specials release. The original Frosty has Jimmy Durante, "Frosty's Winter Wonderland" had Andy Griffith, and this special has Johnathan Winters. Just like director of the Amazing Spider-man films Marc Webb, I'm pretty sure he was only chosen because of his name. Now while all of the Frosty narrator's (with exception of the one from "Legends of Frosty the Snowman.") have fallen into the uncanny valley, the narrator in this special takes the fricking cake! While the other narrators looks a least a little human, Johnathan Winter's in this special looks like an actual gremlin! He's only a few inches tall, and floats around on snowflakes like some kinda sprite. And there's no explanation at all for his existence. He just happens to be like this and where suppose to just nod our heads and go along with it! Also he likes hot coco. This is very important.

Anyway he introduces us to the town of Beansboro, a small town that has just gotten covered with seven inches of snow. We get a brief musical number where all the kids sing about how much the love the snow, and all the adults sing about how much they hate it. The kids love the snow because of all of the fun they get to have in it, while the adults don't like the snow because they have to shovel it, it raises heating bills, makes it harder to drive around, ect. The song is rather good, and but we'll get into this specials music a bit later. After the song is finished we meet our main character Holly DeCarlo and her best friend, Charles. Holly is a shy girl who dreams of becoming a magician, while Charles is a the stereotypical nerd archetype, and kinda looks like a genderbent Marcy from the Peanuts specials. Holly is sad because she was not "invited" to go play in the snow. Now living in the south, I'm far from an expert on snow, but is snow the type of thing you need to get "invited" to? If all the tv specials I've seen has taught me anything I think you just kinda...go out there. All kidding aside though, I get it. She's sad because she has nobody asked to go play with her. I'm just saying, they phrasing is kinda strange.  Then Charles asks Holly if she wants to go outside and build a...fertility goddess? Um...as I just stated, I'm far from an expert on snow, but is that something kids do on snow days that I was just blissfully unaware of? Also Is Charles a Pagan? Not the belief system I would expect from somebody who, as the special is going to continually bring up, is a man of logic and does not believe in anything that he cannot solve with logic. Well I for one appreciate the religious diversity this special presents. Bout' time we get a Pagan character in children's media without society making a big deal about it! That's what I say!

pictured Demeter, our Holy Jolly Fertility Goddess.)  Anyway, Holly decides that instead of doing...that, she'd rather practice her magic for the magic act because Holly is going to be preforming her magic act during the annual winter carnival in front of the entire town. Holly tells Charles to get into a box and then she gets out the saw. Oh geez, I think this specials about to get a bit dark. Holly doesn't even have another box attached to the box that Charles is in. And the box isn't even closed! Holly clearly has no idea what she's doing and Charles is going to pay the ultimate price for it. This is about to become a very red Christmas.  But luckily before Charles goes off to meet Persephone, he asks Holly to open a window because it's hot inside the box. Then a giant gust of wind blows in the room and Holly loses her magic hat. And by giant gust I mean, I pretty sure there's a class five hurricane going on outside and those kids really need to get inside. I mean the wind is strong enough to spin Charles' box around at ridiculous speeds.  So then Holly decides to chase after her hat and-HEY WAIT HOLLY, WHAT ABOUT CHARLES?! You're just going to leave him spinning in that box until he vomits, just to go get your stupid hat? It's called priorities Holly, Jesus Christ!

(Bye Charles, thanks for letting me nearly saw you in half!)  Holly chases after the hat, and for one brief close up shot we see that Johnathan Winter's is riding the hat. I do not get this. What is the point? Is he guiding the hat to Frosty, or is he just riding it just cause? Holly trails behind the hat, (as it seems this wind managed to blow the hat not only out of Holly's room, but out of Holly's house somehow and down the block. Can the hat open doors?) She bumps into her school teacher, and the teacher talks about how much she hates the snow. There's not much to this scene other then driving the point home that the adults hate snow. After that scene Holly finds the hat it's on the head of a snowman, who just happens to be alive. This is Frosty, this time played by John Goodman, who honestly I really like in this role. He has a very kind and welcoming voice, and it's a lot less "bumbling" sounding then the other Frosty voice actors. Not that I'm trying to knock those voice actors or anything, I'm just saying.  Holly tries to introduce herself to Frosty, but Frosty already knows who she is because in Frosty's own words she's a "famous" magician. While yes, this doesn't actually make any sense as an answer I actually really like this scene. Frosty in this special is a lot wiser then he was in the previous Frosty specials, and that's something I really like. Like for example, Holly mentions that she doesn't have any friends other then Charles, and Frosty tells her "Having one friend is a lot more than having no friends." It's a really nice sentiment and a good message for the kids, and to anybody really.  Holly's mom walks in and Frosty goes all Toy Story and stops talking or moving because...Well look, if "Toy Story didn't have to explain it then why should this special have to? Oh, there's also a funny joke where Holly's mom calls Holly out for abandoning Charles, saying that he's going to end up "needing to join a support group." Holly's mom talks about how she just bought this brand new product called "Summer Wheeze." the least marketable name for the product ever devised. This product is like a can of aerosol spray that can make snow disappear in seconds! Holly's mom's friend shows up and they start talking like there in an infomercial for the spray. Holly's mom's friend ends up spraying Frosty a bit, causing him to yell. And conveniently nobody seems to hear or acknowledge the snowman's screams of pain.  We then transition to the board room of the company that makes Summer Wheeze, and here we meet our villain, Mr. Twitchell and his pet cat, Bones. Mr. Twitchell is a crotchety old curmudgeon played by Brian Doyle-Murray. He's best known for playing Captain K'nuckles in "The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack" and The Flying Dutchman in "Spongebob." He's also the older brother of actor Bill Murray! I know, it's crazy! He gives a great performance in this special.  Now let me lay out Mr. Twitchell's evil plan in this special. It's a pretty complex plan, so try to follow along.  Step 1) Make the town love him by getting rid of all of the snow.  Step 2) Get rid of all the snow.  Step 3) Have the town make him their King out of gratitude.  Um......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgxYUxqcg1Q

  I swear to high heaven, Mr. Twitchell makes this special. He's so over the top and ridiculous that it's near impossible not to love it. Then, when one of his employees points out the environmental concerns he has his James Bond style cat press a button that activates a trap door under that employees' desk! This villain, man, this villain! He then has his cat, Bones, release an army of trucks to spray the entire town with Summer Wheeze! Let the snowman genocide begin!

 By the way, this Summer Wheeze thing must really be a labor of love from Mr. Twitchell. I mean as far as I can tell he's releasing these cars for free. All that Wheeze there using is coming out of his bottom line, unless the town is paying him to use these trucks or something. Then again, I don't think this guy has really thinks through most of the stuff he does. I mean why would anybody buy Summer Wheeze if the company is spraying peoples yard's for free.  The next day, Holly decides to keep Frosty in her Freezer until after she comes home from school. What I want to know is what would happen if Holly's mom needed to open the freezer at any point during the day and just saw a talking snowman in there, but that's a question this special doesn't want to answer for us! Also there's a bit where she has to take some turkey out of her freezer to make room for Frosty, then she put's the turkey into her backpack in her rush to get to school on time. Then during class the teachers ask why she has turkey in her desk and she says its for lunch. The teacher tells her to put it away unless she wants to present it as a science project. Holly then, really sincerely sounding, says that she does intend to use the turkey as a science project. It's hard to explain in post form but it's a really confusing bit. Did she intend to bring the turkey or not? Was she intending to use the turkey for her science project or was that just a lie for the teacher? She didn't sound like she was lying. I don't get it. This is another question the special doesn't want to answer for us!  Charles is giving a science report about snow, and the environmental importance snow has on the world. Well, it was the nineties, so it was really a matter of time before we got some kind of environmental message. One of the kids interrupts Charles, saying that snow isn't important and his dad says that it gives you heart attacks. (Charles remarks that the kids dad may be confusing snow with chili dogs, another funny joke.) And all the kids start talking about how happy they are that all the snow is melting, so they can do more summer time stuff, like having picnics and volleyball games all year round. Charles points out how snow is important to the environment but none of the kids listen.  There are a lot of logical problems with this scene. One, why do all the kids suddenly hate the snow. I know kids can be fickle but earlier in the special the kids love the snow, and that scene took place, like, the day before this scene takes place. Second, I don't get why Charles is so concerned about the environmental aspect of the Wheeze. I mean yeah, it's an aerosol spray so in that regard it's bad for the environment, but if it's just melting the ice it shouldn't be that big a deal right? Again, I'm no snow expert, but snow melts naturally anyway, and this spray is just speeding up the process. One of the environmental benefits of snow that Charles brings up is a source of fresh water, but if the spray is melting the snow it's still making the fresh water, unless the spray itself is contaminating the water. Or unless the snow isn't melting and it's just disappearing, in which case Mr. Twitchell found a way to destroy matter itself, which I think is the much bigger deal here. This special makes a big deal about how important snow is, and while I know different parts of the world are different and have different environmental needs, there are tonnes of places all over the world where it doesn't snow and those places are fine. As long as the snow is still melting things should be fine. And again, maybe there's something in the spray that is bad for the environment, but the special really treats it like it's the absence of snow that's the problem, not the contaminated water supply. Also third, just because the snow is melting doesn't mean that it'll suddenly be a year long summer! The spray isn't actually increasing the temperature of the air! (Well, I mean it is slowly, because of the aerosol, but you'd need to spray a lot of that stuff to make a hole in the ozone layer big enough to create an endless summer.) I mean I've only seen snow twice in my life, but I've still experienced winters! (Though last year it was over eighty degrees on Christmas. That sucked.)  Anyway, Holly goes to talk to Frosty, who has left the freezer and is now staying at the winter carnival's ice castle. She tells him about how everybody wants to get rid of all the snow, and how she was to scared to speak out against them. Frosty tells her that it's okay, and gives her some advice on how to be less shy and timid....in the form of a song!  The song is actually really good, and one of the most memorable part of the special. I mean, yeah, it does continue to shoe horn in the whole "snow is the most important thing, snow is love snow is life" theme the special has been doing this whole time, and the moral of "when your to scared to talk to someone just sing" is a pretty weird lesson, but dang it the song is really darn catchy! I really feel this is underappreciated Christmas/winter song that really deserves more appreciation! At least until we get to the part where Mr. Twitchell get's his dark reprise verse, and it's basically a weird....rap....I think? That's amazing for completely different reasons!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6PnTmyYT6w

(Also this is unrelated but why does Frosty have a human nose? He says early in the special that once some kid stole his nose to play hacky sack so is it suppose to be a hacky sack? Why does it look so human-ish?)    Anyway after the song Charles meets up with Holly and Frosty. At first Charles believes that Frosty is some kind of robot, but Frosty (rather quickly I may add) convinces him that he is a real talking snowman. But then Mr. Twitchell shows up in him limousine and see's Frosty. Naturally, Mr. Twitchell is not at all phased by the talking and walking snowman, and is more concerned with Frosty spreading snow onto his sidewalks. So he does the "logical" thing and sends his pet CAT out to destroy Frosty with a can of Summer Wheeze. SURPRISINGLY this does not end up working. This is what happens when your cat is your elite henchman.  Though the cat is able to spray frosty enough to make a massive hole in his chest. Holly is concerned, because there's barely enough snow on the ground to fix Frosty....except for the fact that that isn't true, at all! There is still plenty of snow, just look around you!

 But despite the fact that there is still snow all over the place Charles decides to go get some snow that he was saying and pack it all into Frosty. Then they decide to finally do something about mean old Mr. Twitchell. Mr. Twitchell decides to attend the Winter Carnival, and melt all of the snow, cementing himself as the towns hero and future king. Sure, why not. Mr. Twitchell goes on stage so he can be crowned king of the Winter Carnival, when Holly goes on stage to call him out. She talks about how important snow is but Mr. Twitchell is unfazed and unrepentant. So Holly decides to unveil  Frosty in front of the whole town and, Hey wait a minute!

Frosty is alive without the hat! That's not allowed! Unless this takes place after "Frosty's Winter Wonderland." Is this a reboot or a sequel?! HAX! I call HAX!  So anyway, Frosty decides to sing a reprise of his song to the towns people and everybody in the town immediately decides that they love snow again. No wonder Mr. Twitchell thought he could become this towns king, this is the most easily swayed town in the world! Everybody in town rejoices at the magical talking snowman that nobody questions the existence of. Mr. Twitchell decides to get into one of his weird Summer Wheeze spraying vans and, because he's Mr. Twitchell, decides to let the cat drive. This goes about as well as you'd expect.

FRICKIN' REK'D SON!

I kid of course, Mr. Twitchell survives the crash Holly and Frosty shows him some kindness by giving him the Winter Carnival crown and taking him on a sled ride. Frosty then tells Holly that it's time for him to leave, as he wants to go to another town to help another kid. Holly hugs Frosty and wishes him goodbye and the special ends with weird Johnathan Winters/Mr. Mxyzptlk hybrid telling us that Mr. Twitchell decided to change his ways and go into the sled making business. This change of heart lasted a total of four days until, at the age of one hundred and ten, Mr. Twitchell died in his home and his body was eaten by his cat, Bones. The End.  So in conclusion, is the special good? Well that depends on your perspective. On a technical aspect the special is not very well made. The animation isn't very good, with the exception of one scene early on in the special where Johnathan Winter's is actually animated very fluidly. But other then that you can see that this special doesn't have much of a budget. There are a lot of plot points in the special that either don't make sense or only make sense because the characters are so stupid. Also, while the environmental/"snow is totes awesome" moral isn't as heavy handed as I remembered them being, there still pretty heavy handed. Also, this isn't flaw or anything, the background music has a real "Rugrats" vibe to it. I'm not knocking it, but I really wonder if that show and this special had the same music director or something.  All that being said the special isn't awful either. There's a lot of stuff to like. It has an excellent voice cast, not just in John Goodman and Brian Doyle-Murray, but also Holly's voice actress, Elisabeth Moss. She was only ten at the time this special was made, but her voice really adds a good level of sincerity to the role. Also while Holly is still a fairly generic character she's still more interesting then Karen. I don't know if the Frosty purist will agree with me on this, but that's really how I feel. Holly has an arc, she starts of timid and shy, but in the end ends up standing up to the villain head on. Also I like how Frosty is characterized. He's a lot wiser, and much more comforting. This probably has a lot to do with John Goodman's performance, but I think the writing had a bit to do with it to. This special has a really catchy song and a really hammy villain in the form of Mr. Twitchell. The other Frosty specials don't have Mr. Frickin' Twichell. So that's a plus in this specials favor.  Overall, while I'm not sure if this is an objectively better special than the original, I know I definitely enjoy it more. Sure, it's was most likely made as a cash in on the Frosty brand, but it's an enjoyable cash in! While this special probably has higher highs and lower lows that the original special, at least it's not boring. If your looking for a more well made holiday special with good animation, interesting characters, and a good holiday lesson this special is probably not for you. But if you want a weird, so bad it's good type of special that does have some legitimately good parts in it, even if the special as a whole isn't the greatest, then I highly recommend it! Check it out if you haven't seen it, and come to your own conclusion.  So that's my review of "Frosty Returns." But if you think where done with Frosty the Snowman, oh how wrong you are. Join me next Friday, as I tackle the other Frosty sequel that wasn't make by Rankin-Bass, "Legend of Frosty the Snowman." Because, to quote Notorious rapper Biggie Smalls "Mo' Frosty, Mo Problems." Have you seen Frosty Returns, and what do you think of it? I'd love to hear your opinion, even if it's completely  different from mine. I'd love to start a conversation. What's your favorite Frosty special, or just holiday special in general. If you have any suggestions for stuff for me to review in the future leave it in a comment down bellow, and I might look into it. Please fav, follow, and comment if you liked the review, and have a great day. (I do not own any of the images or videos in this review all credit goes to there original owners.)

https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/Frosty-Returns-REVIEW-651578677 DA Link

[filmaficionerdo]

Best Films of 2018

Best Films of 2018

2018 was not the year for prestige pictures by a long shot.  Film this year was at its best when it came to superhero movies, and as much as I prefer those over most any other entertainment, that shouldn’t be the case, and that’s not what got me into film in the first place.  As happy as I am to see my favorite comic book characters come to life, I got into film because of daring, bold, and outspoken artists who didn’t need a franchise to speak their minds.  Too many mid-range films went to Netflix or other streaming services and they’re mostly of poor quality with a few exceptions.  I miss the days when film studios took risks, but now they only look for the largest IP with the largest net-profits.  It’s sad.  I love Marvel movies more than anyone I know but they shouldn’t be the only reason I look forward to going to the theater.  But this year also sparked a personal change for me because I moved away from the movie mecca of Hollywood to mid-Michigan, where there aren’t any arthouse theaters nearby during peak awards season so I missed more films than I would’ve liked (even though it’s been the most emotionally rewarding experience I’ve ever had) so I hope that helps explain why this list is so late.  I’ve been catching up on independent films via online rentals as soon as I can and still have many left unseen.  So maybe I missed something during 2018, but I can’t help but be letdown by the lack of inspiration I look to when I try to experience the medium I’m most passionate about.  With that being said, I was still able to conjure a list of my favorite 25 films of the year.  So, here goes:

25. Halloween

This was way better than I would’ve expected, especially coming from the guys who brought us Your Highness.  Director David Gordon Green and writer Danny (Eastbound & Down) McBride delivered the first worthy Halloween sequel that’s ever existed.  Their updated and timely subversion elevated this homage-y sequel while adding more fun than this franchise has ever seen.  John Carpenter’s contribution and the opening credits sequence hit hard with me.

24. Ready Player One

Haters be damned, I really enjoyed this movie.  Of course, I never read the book so that discredits me somewhat but what I got was a rousing Spielbergian experience that we haven’t witnessed since Minority Report.  If you hate this movie, but you loved Hook, there’s something fundamentally wrong with what you think a Spielberg movie is supposed to be about.  Ready Player One was a toybox of fun ideas and intellectual properties sewn together for a generation hung up on video games and nostalgia.  It’s definitely not his best but I love seeing a veteran director who still has the ability to dust off his old toys and make pretend.  The Shining sequence was an absolute standout of appreciation and love for another director’s craft.  

23. Sorry to Bother You

Boots Riley’s debut was strong and weird as hell.  This felt like Spike Lee meets David Cronenberg.  It’s funny, nuanced, and insightful.  Riley’s new voice was energetic and angry in the best way.  I saw this later in the year than I wanted to, but I have a feeling that repeat viewings will enhance this films relevance and my appreciation.

22. You Were Never Really Here 

Lynne Ramsay is one of the best and most unpredictable working directors today.  I always look forward to her work, but this semi-Taxi Driver remake was remarkably accessible for her and more powerful than it had any right to be.  If you haven’t seen it, seek it out.  It’s a crisp 88 minutes long and it’s riveting as well as heartbreaking.  There was a uniqueness to the short runtime, violence, and poignant urgency that she handled with deftness.  Joauquin Phoenix was remarkable, brute, and subtle all at once.

21. Ant-Man & The Wasp

Go ahead and agree that this wasn’t the strongest Marvel output in a while, but just like the previous Ant-Man, it’s a palette cleanser from a previous Avengers film.  Ant-Man & The Wasp is maybe the most child friendly film they’ve ever released and it was still enjoyable as hell.  It’s not important.  It’s simple fun.  And I love that Marvel still knows how to craft something that doesn’t want or need to reach for the fences.  Sometimes an inside the field hit is just what we need.  Ant-Man & The Wasp is a damn good bunt.

20. The Incredibles 2

Now that I hang out with a toddler on the reg, watching this movie never gets boring.  I’d know, because she’s watched it with me five times.  Incredibles 2 was long overdue and it’s maybe not quite so worthy of such a long wait considering the original was my favorite film of 2004, but its sequel was still full of exceptional animation.  That sequence with Jack Jack and the raccoon still fills me with joy.

19. A Star is Born

Bradley Cooper’s directorial debut was surprisingly strong.  Filming everything in close-ups was an intimate and innovative way to express a rising star’s personal journey to stardom.  Even though we can all agree that the first half of the film is vastly superior to the tear-turkey-jerky second half, it’s still an important film and a worthy update of a timeless classic.  The music, performances, cinematography, and sound are all exceptional.   

18. BlacKkKlansman

Spike Lee felt reborn with BlacKkKlansman.  Do The Right Thing will always be one of the all time greatest films; no question.  BlacKkKlansman might be his best since.  John David Washington just established himself as a commanding lead, and Adam Driver further cemented himself as a phenomenal actor.  The poetic-ness combined with the satirical edginess made this one significantly heartbreaking watch while being entertaining and iconic all at the same time.

17. The Death of Stalin

I saw The Death of Stalin early in 2018 and it never left me.  Writer/Director Armando Iannucci is a certifiable genius and the controversial nature of a film like this was one of the most refreshing voices of the year.  This is one of the darkest political satires I’ve ever seen but it’s so goddamn funny.  Laughing at something so atrocious and maddening is one of the only ways we, as a society, can heal from dark times in history.  I fully believe it takes the power away from the people who committed such heinous crimes.  It takes time and a brilliant voice, but it holds a mirror to the ridiculousness we’re currently subjected to, and hopefully with time, we can make fun of our situation too.

16. Leave No Trace

Debra Granik finally followed up her outstanding Winter’s Bone debut and she did not suffer from the sophomore slump that so many other filmmakers have.  Leave No Trace is the saddest love letter to veterans that I’ve ever seen even though it’s beautiful and full of hope.  Granik definitely should’ve gotten a Best Director nomination this year for her delicate and heartfelt look at a father struggling with PTSD while living with his daughter in the woods, away from society.  Ben Foster and Thomasin McKenzie are stunning.  This film stayed with me for weeks after I watched it.  It’s a small but hugely important film.

15. Annihilation

Alex Garland previously made his directorial debut with Ex Machina after an incredible script writing filmography.  He’s established himself as one of the smartest and most important voices in science fiction cinema after Annihilation.  This is a heady sci fi film that scared the shit out of me.  I felt uneasy the second the group of women walked into The Shimmer.  Garland adapted the book it’s based on after only reading the book once, but he created something so frighteningly ethereal that it’ll be talked about for years.  The score for this was off the charts good.  Going from an acoustic instrumental to something electronic was what struck me the most as a stroke of genius.

14. Shoplifters

For a film I saw so recently, very few films this year have had such an emotional impact on me.  Shoplifters is a small “family” film from Korean director Hirokazu Kore-eda, but it packs a punch that I wasn’t expecting.  All I knew was that critics loved it and it was up for a Best Foreign Language Oscar.  It’s a powerhouse of social status and what it means to be a family that defies language and cultural relevance.  

13. First Man

First Man hit me hard on a personal level.  I’d sort of written off Damien Chazelle as a director after La La Land underwhelmed me so much, but this film reinvigorated my appreciation in him because the filmmaking here was profoundly beautiful.  The acting is impeccable.  The cinematography was breathtaking.  Seeing this in IMAX (as my last film in LA) was a jaw-dropping cry-fest.  I left the theater shook.  I doubt this film will shake as many as it did me, especially if you missed it in IMAX, but this was the theater experience of the year.  At least recognize that Justin Hurwitz’s musical score was the most overlooked snub at this years Academy Awards.

12. Suspiria

This was another film I’d sorely missed in theaters, but when I finally got a chance to witness it I was blown away.  Luca Guadaninio’s follow-up to my favorite film of last year, Call Me By Your Name, was a worthy successor.  This was less a horror film, and more of an art-house homage to Dario Argento’s original 70s classic.  It’s still a haunting film, but in a beautifully macabre way.  Thom Yorke’s score is absolutely outstanding, as well as the subversively drab look, completely deviating from the originals color saturated visual palette.  It’s a film that has to be watched more than once.  Even though it’s 2.5 hours long, I was completely transfixed the entire time.  It’ll depend on your mood or taste, but if you enjoy artistic, visual, and auditory enhanced horror, Suspiria is among the best. 

11. Mandy

Throw up the horns.  Mandy is here.  Pasmos Cosmatos cerebral horror film is full of the best revenge porn I’ve ever seen.  Nicolas Cage is unhinged (as he should be) in his best performance in ages.  He’s the Cage we’ve been dreaming of since the 90s.  The first half of this film belongs to Andrea Riseborough and underrated character actor Linus Roache, but the second half is all Rage Cage in full gory glory.  Mandy is a film unlike anything you’ve ever seen, but yet somehow it’s still completely accessible.  The title cards for each chapter are something straight out of a Heavy Metal comic book, and the hauntingly beautiful score by the late-genius Jóhann Jóhannsson is simply gorgeous.  Mandy is a film meant to be laughed at and with.  It’s a fever-dream of ideas that work brilliantly as a whole.  It’s a hard one to recommend but if you know, you know.  

10. Eighth Grade

Bo Burnham just burst onto the directorial scene with this film about the awkwardness of being a thirteen year old girl.  Not something you’d expect from a male standup comedian in times like these, especially when it’s handled so delicately and with so much heart, but it feels so important to young kids who’ve been thrown into subjectivity amongst their peers within the digital age.  Eighth Grade can, at times, make you so uncomfortable, and at other times it’ll completely tear your heart out and make you want to hug your dad.  I know, because I saw it in the theater with my dad.  He was like, you’re still the eighth grade girl you’ve always been.  Thanks, dad.  

9. Aquaman

I know there isn’t a ton of hate for this film, but there isn’t a ton of high praise for it either.  Aquaman was exactly the film James Wan set out to make.  It’s one of the most comic book-y films since Age of Ultron except it’s dumb as hell, and for that, I absolutely LOVED it.  This was a throwback comic book film ripped from the pages that was corny as hell and never took itself too seriously.  Aquaman is a damn hard character to adapt so it’s unbelievable that he got this big of a budget that included over-the-top actors like Willem Dafoe and Dolph Lundgren.  Patrick Wilson chews the scenery as Ocean Master and I don’t give a damn what people think of Black Manta; he’s completely awesome.  You could’ve easily cut this film down, but I was happy to live in its oceanic cheesball world for hours.  Aquaman was the comic book movie of the year that was as ridiculous as it was awesome.  I laughed so hard at how stupid it could be, but I couldn’t help but be entertained by how insane it was.

8. Mission: Impossible Fallout

I don’t know how these films keep getting better, but they do.  This was THE action film of 2018.  As much as I love Fast & Furious 5-7, Mission: Impossible 4-6 has been the best run of a long running action franchise ever.  Fallout brought one of the best villains yet in a story that barely makes sense, but I couldn’t care less.  This film was big in that edge-of-your-seat way that rarely comes along.  Thrilling doesn’t begin to describe it.  The IMAX presentation was fantastic.  I live for movies like this.  It harkens back to 80s and 90s action films but presents itself for a whole new era of practical effects extravaganza.  It’s the best action film since Mad Max: Fury Road.

7. Black Panther

There are a lot of people questioning this film’s entry as a Best Picture Nominee, but it absolutely deserves all of the recognition it’s getting.  Ryan Coogler’s Black Panther is both culturally and politically significant as it is cinematically.  This film is a culmination of what Marvel has been growing to.  The Marvel Cinematic Universe isn’t simply about story progression, it’s about cultural progression.  These films represent societal beacons of the times we live in through decades old comic book prisms.  The lore and spirit of the comics are still present, as well as relevant, and the socio-political themes have been injected into them effortlessly.  

A character like Black Panther can be a leader of change within his own cinematic universe.  Marvel’s created something that transcends blockbuster cinema.  Black Panther is now an icon of cultural appreciation that can inspire real change in the real world.  He’s an optimistic embodiment of what we should strive to achieve as a society.  We should share with the world our hope for change.  Comic Book’s have never been so relevant.  Black Panther has never been so important.

6. Roma

Director Alfonso Cuarón’s intimate portrayal of life as a housemaid was one of the most vibrantly affecting films I’ve ever seen.  Every single shot wasn’t just a landscape; it was a mural.  I’ve never seen direction take this angle and provide so much while saying so little.  Some people might’ve felt emotionally disconnected from his style but Cuarón’s masterful direction captivated me like very few films this year had.  There are multiple layers to his visual representation that effect more of what’s seen than what’s said.  It’s not an easy watch and perhaps that’s part of why it was released by Netflix.  Unfortunately, I had to watch this at home instead of in theaters, but I still felt the impact of the themes and presentation.  It’s one of the few Best Picture nominees that truly belong in the category that’ll stand the test of time.  

5. Paddington 2

This was one of the earliest releases of 2018 and it never escaped my mind throughout the year.  Paddington 2 advances upon the original’s tone to encapsulate something that is pure joy.  Paul King directed the bejeezus out of this movie.  I felt like I was watching Wes Anderson meets Harry Potter.  I saw Paddington 2 in theaters with just one mother and daughter couple and it never felt weird.  The only thing that’s weird is that more people haven’t seen this film.  I had a smile from ear to ear the entire time.  This movie is magic.  Like the Harry Potter films, all of the best British actors are present, and Hugh Grand and Brendon Gleeson give their best performances in years, if not ever.  Hugh Grant should’ve been nominated for Best Supporting Actor.  If you haven’t seen this hidden gem yet, do your soul a favor and seek it out immediately.

4. The Favourite

Yorgos Lanthimos is on a roll.  This nutty Greek director began his career with the insane film, Dogtooth, and hasn’t let up since.  But he’s also learned and built from his previous work.  What started as something of a cultish followed career has expanded into prestigious and innovative filmmaking.  I’d nearly missed this film in theaters until I drove across the state to see this with my parents in Ann Arbor, and although it might be one of the worst movies to see with your parental units, we all could agree that this was a uniquely hilarious and thought-provoking experience.  At first, I wasn’t sure what to think because I was too busy trying to avoid talking to my mom and dad about Emma Stone jerking somebody off, but The Favourite stayed with me for weeks and I loved dissecting all of its themes and nuances.  The Favourite is both entertaining and timely.  It��s another one of the films this year that absolutely belong with (and should’ve won) the Best Picture nominations.

3. Widows

Steve McQueen’s Widows was vastly underseen and underrated.  Here’s a director who usually only does vague, cerebral drama, but working with Gillian Flynn as a screenwriter adapting Lynda LaPlante’s 1983 novel about wives finishing the heist their husbands failed to complete before their untimely deaths, is about as pulpy and as timely as you can get.  There are a lot of stories woven into Widows epic crime saga and some critics have faulted the film’s narrative for it, but look at Heat; one of the most prolific crime sagas of all time, which has more subplots than you could imagine, yet it’s still widely regarded as one of the best films ever made.  Widows is the best film of its kind since Heat in 1995.  It still carries the acting heavyweights and still compelled me more than nearly any other film in 2018.

2. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Into the Spider-Verse is one of the few films in 2018 that has the power to influence cinema for the future.  Not only is it extraordinarily entertaining, but it’s also innovative in terms of style and theme.  No other film in 2018 was this inventive and groundbreaking.  I was definitely excited to see this as a lifelong Spider-Man fan, but based on Sony’s mishandling of the character for years, it had me extremely cautious.  Thanks to Phil Lord and Chris Miller’s impeccable screenplay, I got more than the Spider-Man I’ve always wanted to see.  This is a Spider-Man for a new generation.  He’s not my Spider-Man, he never was.  This film is for everyone, and I mean EVERYONE.  The cell-shaded animation and soundtrack elevated this film into bonafide classic territory.  I couldn’t even comprehend it after I first saw it, because I wasn’t ready for something so new.  Months after I watched this film, I could not stop thinking about it.  Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is so nerdy for the fans and so accessible to the newcomers.  It feels like I’m living in an alternate universe where good movies in 2018 DO exist.

1. Avengers: Infinity War

The *Snap* heard ‘round the World...

Marvel has a good history of taking formulas from other genres and using them as a framing device for their superhero films; political thrillers, space operas, video games, heist films are all borrowed ideas that helped them keep the superhero genre from feeling stale. Avengers: Infinity War is Marvel’s fantasy epic. This is the Lord of the Rings of the MCU. The result is legendary. The Russo Bros. looked at their massive roster of heroes, who audiences have come to deeply care for over ten years, and came up with a way to tell one cohesive world-ending story centered around one villain; the mad titan, Thanos. They looked at Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones, and they saw how well those were balanced, and they applied it to a superhero film. It’s unbelievably well executed. The big reason Infinity War works so cosmically well is Josh Brolin’s portrayal of Thanos. We couldn’t get behind another world-ending event in these movies unless we believed and understood the villain that was behind it all.  Brolin gave Thanos both menace and pathos.  From the moment the movie starts, the stakes feel real. None of the characters are safe because we believe Thanos is capable of anything from the very beginning.  There aren’t many epics where we spend this much time with the villain.  Thankfully, Marvel knows we already care about the heroes, so after building up a ten year rapport between audiences and protagonists it was finally time to focus on the Big Cheese who’s behind all the conflict. This movie is so comic book/fantasy it’s ridiculous.  I loved every second of it and could not wipe the smile off my face nor the tears from my eyes.  I felt like my ten year old self, alone and engrossed in the most epic comic book I’ve ever read.  I was shaken when I left the theater. I turned around and watched it again just 30 minutes after my first viewing, and I couldn’t believe how captivated I was the second time, third time, forth viewing, fifth, sixth, and so on...  Nothing could’ve prepared me for this film and I’m so thankful it exists.

[and-then-yoi-happened]

As I promised in my follower celebration post, I wanted to spread some love through a fic rec post! And now I finally came around to make it! ＼( ˵´ ♡｀˵)／

I’m sorry for not going into detail what I loved about them here or leave comments here, because I’m trying to keep the post’s length under control. All of these 17 fics (and 2 comics) deserve a commentary and a detailed recommendation post of their own and I hope I’ll find the time to do that for all of them one day.

Please share this post (and the love), so more people can see the recommendations. Also if you start reading some of these, please consider leaving the writers a Kudos and maybe even a comment. We writers love feeling recognised and cherished! It motivates us to write on ♡ The order in which I name the fics is random.

My Top Three Favourite Fics (all Multi-Chapters):

Listen, I love all three of them so much. I binge read them all when I found them. They all made me feel so many things and I might have cried now and then while reading any of them (for different reasons). Those are fics I would reread - I don’t even know how often. They are just so incredibly well done.

Empty Spaces Between Stars (WIP) by astudyinrose [ E | creator choose not to use archive warnings (mind the notes to the chapters!) | Victuuri | canon universe / AU canon divergence / fake relationship AU | 17/? | 185k ] Summary: Victor gets just as drunk as Yuuri at the Sochi Banquet, and they disappear together after the dance-offs. They wake up the morning after with rings on their fingers, and pictures of them kissing after getting married the night before are all over the tabloids... but neither of them remembers a thing. They decide to stay married for a while for the sake of Victor's sponsorships, and in exchange, Victor coaches Yuuri through nationals...

Dance of the Red Death by Strange and Intoxicating -rsa- [ M | no archive warnings (no MCD, despite the story dealing with AIDS, so read the FAQ and the tags first!) | Victuuri | canon universe / AU canon divergence | 11/11 | 80k ] Summary: Find something to live for.Viktor Nikiforov loved too much. What begins as a cough morphs into something that takes the shape of an unseen monster hiding in his very blood.  With the Russian government scrambling to sweep under the rug the worst of a crisis that's been thirty-five years in the making and a society that sees his disease as a death sentence, Viktor is left with figuring out his own way to survive.It starts as a way to escape— a youtube video of music and color and light, but quickly becomes something he never expected when Yuri Katsuki teaches him that surviving is not living. Yuri teaches him that living is taking the jump into unknown and accepting all that comes with it.This is not a story of anger. This is not a story of fear. This is not even a story of pain. This is a 21st Century love overcoming the obstacles of the 20th Century's politics of fear.This is a story of life. Complete + Epilogue + FAQ

Come Out of Hiding (I’m Right Here Beside You) by osaki_nana_707 [ M/E (not rated by the author) | creator choose not to use archive warnings (check the tags & notes!) | Victuuri | Music AU / Actors AU / Broadway AU | 33/33 | 84k ] Summary: After forgetting the words to his song during a vocal competition as a teenager, Yuuri Katsuki decided singing was not for him. Instead he went to NYU to study English. He never expected Viktor Nikiforov, Broadway star extraordinaire looking to direct his first production on the stage, would ever find his up-and-coming lead... in him.

Humour/Comedy (oneshots):

All of them brought me to tears, made me wheeze and lose my voice completely - that’s how much I had to laugh. If you have difficulties with second-hand embarrassment and it ruins the fun for you, then maybe skip “Bottom’s Up”.

Nikiforov’s Law by LavenderProse [ T | no warnings | Victuuri | CSI AU | 8.1k ] Summary: “I’m a garbage monster,” Yuuri tells Phichit, staring at Viktor through the glass walls of the lab. Viktor has not been in the same room with him since what the denizens of the lab are now calling The Belle Isle Incident. “He looks at me and he thinks dumpster decomp and swamp. I hate my life.” “You’re a very pretty garbage monster,” says Phichit, watching a centrifuge work. “A garbage monster he wants to fuck.” Yuuri Katsuki is a dime a dozen CSI with the Detroit Crime Lab who has never had a conversation with Detective Viktor Nikiforov that did not end in disaster. He's beginning to think that the entire universe is conspiring to make him a fool in front of handsome blond detectives. The universe is doing nothing to prove him wrong.

The Unknown Unknown by opalish [ T | no warnings | Victuuri | Superhero AU | 7.4k ] Summary: Yuuri never meant to become a supervillain.  These things just happen to him.

Night is Young and the Music’s High by opalish [ T | no warnings | Victuuri | post canon | 3k ] Summary: “Best press conference ever,” the Japanese Nationals silver medalist says when asked.  “Ten out of ten, would medal again.” “I would die for Katsuki-kun,” Minami declares, with terrifying sincerity.

The Katsulanont Guide To Life (series of oneshots) by xylophones [ G/T | no warnings | Yuuri & Phichit (friendship) | pre canon | 4.2k / 3k ] Summary: College life shenanigans brought to you by Yuuri and Phichit!

Bottom’s Up by lucycamui and cryingoverspilledvodka [ T | no warnings | Victuuri | Sochi GPF banquet | 3.3k ] Summary: At the Grand Prix banquet, Victor’s been asked to sign an autograph for a very enthusiastic fan. Unfortunately, there’s a distinct lack of paper around. Fortunately, Yuuri has a suggestion. Alternatively titled, “Ever Seen An Ass So Fine You Had To Sign It ‘Mine’? or "Autograph Me (Wherever You’d Like)”

Canon Universe (oneshots): 

Here’s some Fluff-therapy coming your way ღゝ◡╹ )ノ♡

Pink Leopard Print Pajamas by thishasbeencary [ G | no warnings | Victor & Yuri P. (friendship) | pre canon / developing friendship / cute tiny Yura and Victor fluff | 3.3k ] Summary: Yakov told Viktor that he had to socialize with more skaters. He didn't mean the ones who were too young to even compete as juniors. But he wasn't going to stop his top skater from inviting ten-year-old Yuri Plisetsky over to spend the night. He just... sort of thought that Yuri would refuse.

The Boy Who Watched by Rosie_Rues [ T | no warnings | Victuuri | pre canon | 12.5k ] Summary: Despite the fact they've been competing in the same competitions for years, Victor Nikiforov doesn't meet Katsuki Yuuri until the Sochi Grand Prix Final. On the other hand, there's a boy who's been watching him for years and Victor's desperate to know his name.In which Victor pines, everybody drinks too much, and Yakov deserves a sainthood for putting up with these idiots. Basically, it's a decade's worth of near misses, misunderstandings, and pure obliviousness.

Something So Wholesome About You by crossroadswrite [ G | no warnings | Victuuri | canon divergence AU / Vicchan lives | 3.5k ] Summary: It was supposed to be his year. He was supposed to-Celestino stops talking and squeezes his shoulder. Yuuri looks up at him, opens his mouth to say something when someone says his name. He freezes, holds his breath for a full second against the painfully familiar voice, not daring to hope. Then, very slowly, he turns towards the source, eyes going wide with disbelieve. “Mari?” (Or: in which Vicchan lives, Yuuri doesn't quite fail and doesn't quite get drunk, but manages to accidentally woo Victor Nikiforov anyway.)

The Way to a Man’s Heart-Shaped Smile by La_Temperanza [ T | no warnings | Victuuri | post canon | 6.1k ] Summary: In fact, it’s probably faster to list the foods that Viktor doesn’t like than all the ones he does. Except, Yuuri realizes one evening after he and Viktor are sharing a platter of gyoza and play-fighting for the last one--which Viktor wins, only because he cheated by tickling Yuuri’s ribs--he doesn’t know the answer to that, leaving a huge gaping hole in his Viktor Nikiforov database.This obviously needs to be rectified. (Or the one where Yuuri seduces Viktor with food without realizing it.)

Alternate Universe settings (oneshots):

A wild mix, but all are highly recommended!

Duetto Appassionato by astudyinrose [ E | creator chose not to use archive warnings | Victuuri | classical music AU / musician AU | 9.9k ] Summary: Yuuri Katsuki, 23, has been the Detroit Symphony Orchestra’s ace pianist for the past two years. Victor Nikiforov, violinist extraordinaire and living legend of the orchestral world, is the guest soloist for the DSO’s winter series. He asks Yuuri to play a duet he composed, titled On Love: Eros. Basically, this is shameless smutty musician au one shot (it was supposed to be a PWP, but I couldn’t resist adding in some plot) based on the Yuri!!! On Concert art that just came out. Enjoy!

Puppy Love by minsyah [ T | no warnings | Victuuri | neighbors AU / meet-cute | 15.7k ] Summary: Vicchan has a crush on their neighbor across the balcony, and so does his owner. Yuuri, certified Dog-Dad™, will do anything for his beloved poodle—even if that means constantly embarrassing himself in front of his devastatingly attractive neighbor.

Send Your Cutest Delivery Boy by domokunrainbowkinz [ G | no warnings | Victuuri | college AU / meet-cute | 2.5k ] Summary: Victor orders pizza and puts "send your cutest delivery boy" in the special instructions box, and Domino's does, indeed, send their cutest delivery boy. Based off this.

If This City Will Bloom by RennieOnIceCream (Hitsugi_Zirkus) [ G | creator chose not to use archive warnings | Victuuri | magical realism / Flower Spirit!Yuuri | 9k ] Summary: “Viktor, do you know what cherry blossoms mean?” “What they mean?” Viktor tilts his head, surprised at the sudden question. “They can mean beauty. Or a good education. Cherry blossoms generally bloom around the time the new school year starts.” Yuuri’s eyes are unwavering on Viktor, and the colors shift in the dark irises again. “But they also mean impermanence.” Impermanence -- transient. Not lasting forever.The word sends a ripple of fear through Viktor. (Or, the story where Viktor accidentally brings home a cherry blossom spirit from Japan, and his life and heart are turned upside-down.)

A Midwinter Night’s Dream (part one of a series, I’m still praying it gets continued) by persephoneggsy [ G | no warnings | Victuuri | fairy AU / fantasy AU | 7.1k ] Summary: Victor Nikiforov, Prince of the Fae Realm, meets a young blue fairy and thinks nothing of it. But then the years pass, and he meets him again.

Comics:

Because why not?!

My Reasons (WIP) by adreamorasong-art [ T (maybe E in the future) | no warnings | Victuuri | canon compliant / canon retelling ] This is an amazing comic series by my friend Mari. She draws in realistic style and completely retells season 1 (with added, missing scenes).

Bright Star by butleronice [ G | MCD (but apparently not what one would think) | Victuuri | galactic AU ] There is an accompanying fic. (I haven’t read that one yet.) Summary: Yuuri is a star, sparkling brilliantly in some far reaches of the galaxy. One day, his lonely life is changed, when a dazzling and brilliant comet enters his orbit.

Unfortunately I barely had time to read anything lately and my to-read list is... scaringly long by now. I’m thinking of making a similar post to this one, but with fics that I can’t wait to read! Anyway, you can find even more fics in my ao3 bookmarks, which I use to recommend fics. If you want to, you’re more than welcome to read my stuff as well. (ღ ´◡`)ノ♡

[quickeningheart]

Nine

     Alley muttered to herself and punched the button on the elevator, waiting for the lift to carry her up to another floor. This was the fifth ride she’d taken so far in search of the elusive Main Office, and her nerves were about shot. And it was totallyStoker’s fault. He’d had her so turned around that she’d taken off without remembering to grab the GPS out of Priscilla’s glove-box, thus leaving her to find her way to the Chicago Institute of Art and Design without so much as a road map to guide her.

    After two hours of battling downtown mid-afternoon traffic, getting turned around twice (once going the wrong way up a one-way street), stopping at three different convenience stores to ask for directions, she’d finally made it to the main campus located three miles outside of the actual city. Only to be faced with another conundrum: the campus really was huge. The four buildings on the campus were huge. And only one of them contained the offices where she was supposed to fill out the final papers to turn in for the start of her school year.

    On a whim, she’d picked the biggest building that was located the furthest from the gated entrance, which had thankfully been the right choice (according to the random student she’d asked in passing). But now that she was in the place she was supposed to be, she found herself confused and lost all over again. The large floor layout maps hanging on the walls by the elevators and escalators were proving less than useful. Big red dots with the words “You are here” graced every one, but the maps themselves were all wrong, and didn’t seem to match the actual floor plans at all. So no matter where Alley supposedly was, she couldn’t help feeling like she was supposed to be somewhere else altogether!

    The elevator dinged, the door slid open, and she stomped out of the lift and turned right … only to run headlong into a wall of books and poster tubes, hard enough to knock herself flat on her ass. There was a startled yelp from behind the book-wall as it promptly came tumbling down, scattering tomes and tubes all around her. And the tall, skinny man who’d been holding them blinked owlishly at her from the wire-framed glasses that had been knocked askew on his nose.

    “I am so sorry!” Alley cried, scrambling to her knees to help pick up the scattered books. Her entire body was flaming with mortification. “I wasn’t looking and I knocked into you and I am just so sorry,” she babbled.

    “No worries,” the man grunted, getting to his feet. “I wasn’t exactly looking where I was going, either. What with the books blocking my view and all.” He offered a crooked grin, soft gray eyes smiling down at her through an unkempt mop of sandy brown curls. “You okay?” He offered a hand to help her up, which she gratefully accepted. “No broken bones or anything?”

    “Nah, I’m fine. How about you?” she replied. “I hit you pretty hard.”

    “Oh, don’t worry about him. He’s used to being knocked on his ass by girls.”

     The man heaved a long-suffering sigh, rolling his eyes as a woman dressed all in purple and black joined them. She smirked at him and kicked a poster tube out of her way with a well-worn engineer boot. “This your new method for picking up women? Play the injured puppy and get them cooing and drooling all over you in sympathy?” she teased.

    “Don’t you have some kittens to eat or something?’

    “I upgraded my diet to pig hearts this week. More protein.”

    Alley watched the two of them banter, fascinated. They were as different as two people could be. If she had to put a title, he was classic preppy nerd while the girl was clearly the punk-goth type. In normal society, these two would hardly take time to look at each other, much less interact like … well, a lot like her and Charley did, actually.

    “Are you two related by chance?” she blurted, and felt herself blushing all over again when the pair stopped talking and turned to face her. Goth Chic had gray eyes, too, she noted, heavily made up with dark shadow and liner. And she suspected that under the cherry-red hair dye, the girl’s natural hair color was also brown.

    “You’re good,” Goth Chic commented. “Most people don’t figure it out on the first try. You must have an annoying brother, too.”

    “I’m an only child, actually. But my cousin and I get along pretty much the same way,” Alley explained. “So, you’re siblings?”

    “Yeah, we’re twins. Can’t you tell?” Goth Chic’s voice was so bland, Alley couldn’t tell if she was joking or not.

    Preppy rolled his eyes and smacked his sister across the head. “What the birth defect means to say is her name is Constance Archer. And I’m Christopher.”

    “Call me Chex,” the girl put in. “If you call me Constance or Connie, I'll be forced to kill you. You can call him the Mutant Hobbit.” Another smack over the head from said Hobbit. “Okay, fine, call him Chris.”

    Alley laughed. “Alley Davidson,” she said. “Freshly relocated from Florida. And you’re from?”

    “Oh, we’re born-and-bred Illinoisans,” Christopher replied with a grin. “Chi-town residents for the past ten years. A little town called Penbrooke before that.”

    “They call it a town, but it’s more like a speck of dirt on a map. You know, the kind you try and scratch off with your fingernail.” Chex demonstrated by scratching the air with a black-painted nail. "Oh, speaking of maps, I probably should tell you, the maps on the walls? They’ve been switched around.”

    Alley’s brow furrowed. “Switched?”

    “Yeah.” Chris nodded at the map behind them. “That one says Atrium floor, but the Atrium is actually in another building. This is the Hospic floor. Who knows where that map ended up.”

    Alley’s jaw dropped. “No wonder I can't figure out where I am!” she huffed. “What morons went and switched the maps?”

    “Just some prank from the senior students,” Chex said with a shrug. “The frat houses tend to pull crazy shit like this to confuse the hell out of the newbies. Congrats. You can consider yourself officially initiated. Welcome to college. Just like high school, but with a lot more drinking.”

     ~*~*~*~*~

   After picking up the rest of the books, the twins guided Alley to the correct office located on the first floor in the back of the building. They seemed to know their way around the place pretty well, and when Christopher told her why, she was astonished. “Your father is the dean?” she repeated.

    “Yeah, but don’t hold it against us,” Chex deadpanned. “We can’t help who we were born to.”

    “So you know this place pretty well, huh?”

    “We’ve been running around these buildings since we were kids. I always wanted to attend school here,” Chris told her. “My sister is here because her other option was Military boot camp, but the food is better here.”

    “Ah.” Alley grinned. “That would be those pig hearts you mentioned?”

    “And let us not forget the kittens,” Chex added. “So, what’re you majoring in?”

    “Well, because my parents absolutely insisted on me picking something I can make a real career out of, my major is graphic design. But since I’m not sure if that’s what I actually want to do, I’m minoring in creative writing and music composition, and looking into a few possible art courses for next semester.”

    “Sweet. Another writer type. I dig it.” Chex offered a high-five, but hastily reconsidered when she nearly dropped her armload of books. “What’s your preference? Novels? Poetry? Essays?”

    “Well, I don’t really know,” Alley admitted. “I’ve mostly kept journals and stuff, and I’ve written some song lyrics here and there, a few poems. But since I’ve never actually let anyone read any of it, I don’t know if they’re any good or not.”

    “You write music?” Chris asked.

    “Sort of. I didn’t take a lot of music classes in high school, but I do know my basics. I took piano lessons for eight years. I’m in the beginning course for music composition. I think it’d be fun to try writing my own songs.”

    “Do you sing, too?” he asked hopefully.

    “What’s with the twenty questions?” Chex nudged her brother. “Trying to recruit her for your little band?”

    Alley raised her eyebrows. “You’re in a band?”

    She must’ve sounded skeptical, because he drew himself up, looking a little wounded. “It’s nothing spectacular, just a garage band I put together back in high school, but we get decent gigs on weekends and stuff,” he replied. “It’s a lot of fun. Hang out, play good music. Get paid for it, even. Since we graduated, though, some of the members have left. The drummer headed to Oxford and our female lead singer is attending Juilliard. We’ve still got our bass and guitar players, and I sing and play the keyboard.”

    “That’s cool,” Alley said.

    “We’ll probably hold auditions for another keyboard player and singer once classes start. See if we can get some interest. It’d be great to keep the band going, if we can.”

    Chex cupped a hand to her mouth and added in a stage-whisper, “That’s a hint for you to show up and sing.”

    Chris mimicked the move. “She’s just mad ‘cause we won’t let her join. She can’t hold a note to save her life.”

    “Butthead.”

    “Birth defect.”

    “Awww, you guys love each other so much,” Alley teased. “Almost makes me wish I had a brother, too.”

    “Don’t. You’re better off,” Chex said blandly.

    Alley laughed. “So what’re you majoring in, Chex? You like writing, too?”

    “Connie has wanted to be a professional writer since she was old enough to pick up a pencil,” Chris said with a roll of his eyes. “Don’t get her started on the subject or you’ll never get her to shut up again.”

    “Don’t mind him.” Chex pulled a face at her brother. “ His ultimate goal in life is to be our dad’s personal Mini-Me. He fully plans to take over the position of dean when Pops retires.”

    “That’s not set in stone,” Chris muttered, blushing a little. “But it’s sort of a position that’s been passed down in the family since the school was founded. As the oldest son—”

    “As the only son,” she cut in with a snort.

    Chris shot her a brief glare before turning his attention back to Alley. “Our family founded this school,” he explained. "We don’t own it, per se, but it’s always been the Archer sons who have taken the position of dean.”

    “It’s got something to do with the founding father’s will or some sort of legal shit like that,” Chex put in, waving a dismissive hand. “Even though there’s a board of directors and all sorts of officials these days, they can’t kick an Archer son out of the position, unless he willingly steps down.”

    “So, when Dad retires, I’ll be taking over as the dean,” Chris finished.

    “Wow. That’s kind of nice, knowing you’ve got a career path all planned out for you.” Alley pursed her lips, considering. “Unless … you don’t want to be the dean? Then I guess it’d be kind of a pain in the ass.”

    “No, I’m willing to step into the position, but it’ll be after Dad retires, and since he’s only in his forties, that won’t be happening for awhile.”

    “So, what do you plan to do with yourself in the meantime?”

    “I’m majoring in musical composition, the advanced classes. I’d like a career in music. Maybe become a pianist, or even a teacher. It’d be kind of fun to teach classes here, actually.”

    Chex snorted. “In case you haven’t figured it out yet, my brother really loves this school.”

    “Oh, like you’re one to talk.”

    Alley grinned as she listened to the twins’ bickering, which only ended when they finally reached their destination. “The offices are right through here," Chris announced, pushing open a set of swinging doors to reveal a posh waiting room.

    “The dean’s office technically closes at five,” Chex said, “but being his kids gives us certain advantages.” She flashed a cheeky smile at the secretary and sauntered down the short hallway as if she owned the place, stopping before a closed door. “Hey, Pops, you in?” she called.

    “C'mon in,” came a deep voice from the other side. Chex pushed the door ope and stepped into a large, richly furnished office with Chris and Alley bringing up the rear. “Got those books and posters you wanted,” she grunted, dumping her armload onto the mahogany desk. The dark-haired man on the other side glanced up from his ledger, gray eyes crinkling with a smile.

    “Thanks, kids.” His eyes fell on Alley. “I’m sorry, young lady, the office is closed now.”

    “Um,” Alley began, but Chris hastily stepped in. “She’s with us,” he explained. “She got lost trying to get here because someone went and switched all the floor maps on the walls.”

    “Again?” Mr. Archer rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Didn’t we just go through that last year?”

    “Better up the security, Pops.” Chex took her brother's armload of books and unceremoniously dumped them into an empty armchair. “Tricky bastards, those seniors.”

    “Language, Constance,” the dean sighed.

    “Sorry, Sir.” She didn't sound sorry at all.

    “Alley has some more papers she needed to sign. Think she could do that real quick? After all the trouble she had getting here and all…” Chris prodded.

    “Sure, sure. Have Mary pull the file. Alley, was it? You can sit at the table out there and finish what you need. I just ask that you be done by six thirty. That’s when Mary has to leave.”

    “Oh, that’ll be plenty of time. Thank you, Sir,” Alley replied gratefully, placing the poster tubes she was holding on the chair beside the books. She stood awkwardly, wondering if she should bow or curtsy or something, and settled for a polite nod as she turned to follow Chex back to the waiting area.

     ~*~*~*~*~

    Half an hour later, Alley was on the final paper, filling in her new address. She jotted Charley’s house phone down as a temporary number until she could buy a cell phone. She considered who to put as the emergency contact. Her parents were on the other side of the States, so they were out. Charley was the only person she knew in this city, aside from the mice, but she could hardly use their names. She wasn’t sure if they even used phones. Probably best to leave it blank for the moment. She could always fill it later.

    She glanced at the twins, who had for whatever reason decided to stick around; Chris had made himself comfortable in an armchair, absorbed in a well-worn copy of what looked like a science fiction novel.

    Chex lounged on a loveseat with her long black-and-purple-striped legs resting against the back of the couch and her bright red hair brushing the ground. She didn’t seem to care that her short, black-lace tutu skirt had ridden up her waist and now rested in a frothy pile on her stomach. Or that her upside-down face was slowly turning the same shade as her hair as her booted feet danced in the air, keeping time to whatever song was playing on her iPod. She completely ignored the disapproving glances both Mary and her brother kept tossing at her; if anything, they only seemed to encourage her as she drummed the air with her purple-gloved hands, body squirming as she danced on her back. Alley found herself grinning, wondering if she could convince Chex to come shopping with her for a new phone that week. She had a feeling that, despite their very different appearances, the two of them would get along swimmingly.

   A disturbance from the front of the waiting area caught her attention, and she looked toward the front desk, where three men had entered the doors and were casually strolling toward them, ignoring Mary’s frantic attempts to stop them.

    “Aw, shit,” Chex swore softly. “The Purple People Eater’s back.” She quickly flipped herself around and patted down her skirt, snatched a photography magazine off a nearby rack and hastily flipped it open. She didn’t seem to notice it was upside-down. “Keep your head down,” she hissed to Alley. “Don’t look at ‘em, don’t draw attention to yourself, and whatever you do, hold your breath. ”

    “Hold my—bwoaaarph,” Alley gagged as a most awful stench suddenly hit her like a brick to the face. She choked, one hand coming up to pinch her nose shut as she ducked her head, staring through tearing eyes at the forms in front of her. The three men passed them, and she dared to glance up for a better look, then did a triple-take. Purple People Eater was right! He was the largest man she’d ever seen. And he was dressed in the most glaringly purple pinstriped suit her eyeballs had ever had the misfortune to encounter. His greasy black hair was slicked back in some semblance of a coif and he carried a cane in one white-gloved hand. All he needed was a Tommy Gun and he’d be the epitome of the classic 1940s mob boss.

    He noticed her staring, gave her a cold smile that sent a chill shivering up her spine, and sauntered down the short hallway to Mr. Archer’s office. The two henchmen following him, looking more like typical thugs on a street corner than anything, didn’t even glance her way. She watched them go, wondering why in the world she felt like she’d seen him before.

    As soon as the office door opened and shut, Alley released her breath and gasped for air for a moment. “Holy hell,” she hissed. “Did somebody drop that guy into the Bog of Eternal Stench?”

    Chex burst out laughing and reached over to slug her brother in the arm. “See? I told you I wasn’t the only person in the world who watches Labyrinth!”

    “Well, we all must have some flaws,” Chris sniffed, shutting his book.

   “Says the guy reading The Man Who Fell to Earth for the umpteenth time.”

    “It’s a classic book!”

    “And Labyrinth is a classic movie!"

    “Guys!” Alley snapped her fingers to get their attention. “Focus. Who was that?”

    “Trouble,” Chris grumbled. “He’s been coming around lately. Dad says he’s been trying to convince him to sell him the school or something. He wants the land around it.”

    “Yeah, he seems to have it in his head that Pops owns the place and has the legal authority to sell out, or can convince the board members to sell out, or something. I dunno, the guy’s a nutball.” Chex circled her temple with a finger.

    “Well … hasn’t anyone called the cops on him or something?”

    “Won’t do any good.” Chris ran his fingers through his tousled curls, mussing them even further. “His thugs are there for show, but he hasn’t actually gotten violent or anything so they can’t toss his fat ass out. Dad wouldn’t, anyway. He prefers to keep the peace and try and talk things out.”

    “Yeah, he’s stupid like that,” Chex muttered, earning a glare from her twin.

    “Besides, we think he sort of owns the police. He lines their pockets and all.” Chris rubbed his fingers together.

    “He’s got some weird-ass cheese name,” Chex added. “Like, it really fits him, though.” She glanced at her brother. “What was it? Muenster? Pepperjack?”

    “Limburger,” Alley said quietly, as it abruptly hit her where she’d seen him before. In Throttle’s memories. “That’s Lawrence Limburger.”

    “Yeah! That’s it!” Chex laughed. “Smelly cheese for a really smelly guy!”

    “How often does he stop by?” Alley asked.

    “I dunno. He started coming around about two months ago. Once or twice a week, I guess. No big deal, really.”

    “No, listen, this is a big deal.” Alley shook her head. “That guy, he’s dangerous. He’s—” She stopped, struggling to think up a way to explain how dangerous. She doubted the truth would get her anywhere but locked up in a nuthouse. “He’s mafia,” she finally blurted. “He’s a boss in the mafia, and he’s buying up property all over the state to strip-mine it. He seems focused primarily on Chicago, though. My cousin, Charley? She’s been harassed by Limburger for years, trying to buy out her garage, or take it by force. She’s managed to resist, but only ‘cause she’s got some good friends helping her out. If it wasn’t for them, she’d be out of business by now. Possibly worse. He has gotten violent with her in the past. If something isn’t done to stop him, he’ll start using force to get what he wants here, too. Trust me on this, okay? I believe my cousin.”

    The twins stared at her, wide-eyed. Even Mary had stopped what she was doing to listen.

    “But, when he first showed up, Pops called the cops on him, and they didn’t do anything,” Chex finally said. “I mean, they said they couldn’t do anything.”

    “Never mind that he was legally trespassing, showing up after-hours without an appointment and even making veiled threats,” Chris added. “That’s why we figured he’s got the police in his pocket. They could’ve done something otherwise.”

    Alley chewed on her lower lip. “I gotta get back,” she decided. “I’ve been gone too long, anyhow. Charley needs her truck back, and I want to talk to the guys about this. Her friends, I mean. They can probably help, and the cops never even need to know.” She gathered the paperwork and slid it back into the folder, taking it to Mary.

    “You two should get yourselves home,” the secretary told the twins. “Don’t worry, I’ll stay and make sure Mr. Archer gets out safely. I’ll call security in to escort him if I have to.” She took the file from Alley and nodded. “Welcome to the Institute, Miss Davidson. I hope you’ll enjoy yourself here.”

    Alley flashed her a weak smile. “Well, can’t say it won’t be interesting, at least.”

Next

[withinthescripts]

Season 3, Reel 3: November 26, 1953

[tape recorder turns on]

Amy, do you know anything about declawing cats? I know that a lot of people do it, but I don’t know if it’s, well, humane. Do you know if there have been studies of this kind of thing? Can you do some research and find out how this affects cats. I don’t know how people would even begin to understand whether and when cats are happy, apart from the purring and lap-cuddling, but can you see if they have… Can you see if they know whether declawing makes them unhappy? Obviously Vivi and I don’t wanna make a living creature that is in our care unhappy but, well, there’s been some damage to tapestry. To an antique tapestry that was rescued from Belgium during the Reckoning, when most works of art were lost. So… I don’t know that there is a good way to decide which is more important: a rare preserve of the world we lost or the happiness of a living creature that is in your care. Still, some studies would help. If you could look into studies on the well-being of declawed cats, Amy, that would be helpful.

[cut]

Goddammit, Amy, where have you put today’s papers? Papers first thing, god, and turn that fucking music off! [music stops]

[cut]

Letter from the office of Michael Witten on the 26th of November 1953 to Sarah Chisholm, Public Works Department, Philadelphia office.

Dear Sarah. I wanted to get in touch again about my plans regarding the currently abandoned government buildings in Washington. I have been consulting with contractors both local to me and to the buildings - as local as you can get, obviously, as regards the buildings – and pulled together some details and some quotes about what we can accomplish. It looks likely that some parts of the plan, and I’m sure you will be able to predict which, may have to be delayed for a while, but I think we can get going on the foundational things within the next few weeks. As we discussed when I first outlined it to you, I have not spoken to many people about this plan, nor have I obtained clearance from the s`Societal Council. The buildings we’re looking at altering, although they are abandoned and in some cases ruins, they’re still some of the most important buildings on this continent. While they no longer have any place in our society in the symbolic sense they once did, there’s still a great deal of emotional attachment to them, so we must be careful how we communicate our intentions for them. We’re not allowed to have national capitals anymore, so refashioning or restoring from our government buildings, particularly the White House and Capitol, touches some nerves. We will have to let people come to the correct conclusion, that is the conclusion we have both arrived at, that we mut override the nationalist importance of old buildings and remake them for new, practical uses today.

This is why the plans we developed focused entirely on public housing, doctors’ offices, artistic studeos, and store fronts. My wife Vivian suggested that we add theaters and dance bases as well. I can get rough sketches of those designs to you if you’re interested. I remain impressed with the work you’ve done in Philadelphia to maintain the Walnut Street theater. We must show the public as well as the Societal Council that there’s a way to both use such buildings for the good of our new society and remember them as the architectural triumphs they are from the past, while also erasing their patriotic significance.

It’s been suggested to me by my more artistically minded friends that the Capitol building is neo-classical regurgitation, that it has no architectural significance, but that’s not how history works, you can’t just erase it. You have to embrace it and learn from it, and know that what is unfashionable today will be fashionable again later. National patriotism is anathema to our rebuilding efforts, and we have to move beyond it, but we cannot deny the atrocities and the violence committed by our forbearers. Nor can we sterilize our past and keep it safely in a jar on a shelf. If we can reclaim that dome and those buttresses to mean something other than the quote “United States of America”, we can not only acknowledge our past, but reshape the future, it’s so poorly intended.

I don’t expect that this will be easy to sell, Sarah, which is why we should be careful about who we tell now. I’m all for acting now and untangling red tape later. But I believe we should think about how we can make announcements soon. Since the area around these buildings is unpopulated, we can begin work before we announce, I think. No one will be there to see it. But we don’t wanna leave it too long. We don’t want it to look like we’re keeping secrets.

I have to say, Sarah, after all this time talking and thinking, I’m excited to be getting close to the point of beginning. There are parts of this job that feel like mitigating or alleviating destruction but occasionally, something comes along that reminds you that it is really just creation. Creation borne out of destruction, yes, but creation nonetheless. I’m sorry for getting sentimental. It’s an emotional time.

I look forward to celebrating with you in person when you visit Chicago next month. Kind regards, Michael.

[cut]

Amy, never mind about the papers, I found them. They were under all this paperwork from doctor Woods’ office. Thanks for revising the pregnancy contracts, but always keep the newspapers on top.

[cut]

Shit! Shit, Amy!

[cut]

Amy, why didn’t you tell me about the papers as soon as I came in? I assume you saw them. I assume that, even though you covered them up with a bunch of hospital paperwork, as if that’s the most important thing. Fuck! Shit, Amy, I dunno what to do! How did they find out? Why did they write this up without asking me for comment? What is going.. Amy, don’t send that letter to Sarah obviously. I’ll have to write another one, or you will. Sorry, I recorded all things on the same reel, hope it didn’t take you too long. What the fuck am I going to say?

Also, did you know about these stories ahead of time? You didn’t, did you? Had you heard anything? You better not have heard anything and not brought it directly to my attention, Amy, I swear to God. From now on, read the papers first before you bring them to me. You’ll need to come in earlier for that.

[cut]

How did they find out? There’s only two people in our office and I sure as fuck didn’t say anything.

[tape recorder turns off] [ads] [tape recorder turns on]

Amy, deliver this memo immediately. From the office of Michael Witten on the 26th of November 1953, to Reina Bachelor, PR Department, Chicago office.

Dear Raina. There have been some stories printed in today’s papers - I’ve seem them in The Post and The Tribune, I’m not sure if they’re elsewhere as well - that concern this department. I’m hoping you can help me with them. The stories specifically mention this department and myself and discuss, with surprising detail, some undisclosed plans for renovations in Washington, or schemes as The Post put it. I was not contacted for comment by journalists, and many of the details have been misconstrued and in most cases reported incorrectly. It is crucial that we get on top of this story as soon as possible to correct the misinformation that is being spread. Please contact my secretary Amy Castillo to set up a management team meeting this week.

I know this will be difficult, lies run faster than the truth, and I would like you to devote as much effort and resource as you can spare in the attempt. Please prepare a statement for immediate release and advice me on your media strategy.

Kind regards, Michael.

If this gets in the way of things I just… [pause]

[cut]

OK, Amy. New letter from the office of Michael Witten on the 26th of November 1935 to Sarah Chisholm, Public Works Department, Philadelphia office.

Dear Sarah, I’m assuming you will have seen the stories in the papers recently. It seems someone found out about our plans and leaked them, or at least leaked some version of them to the press. They have almost everything wrong. The Chicago Tribune says we’re rebuilding a national capital in Washington, and the Washington Post claims that we will reinstate American agencies, and unlike The New York Times, they seem thrilled about it.

[long pause] But even if the headlines are completely misleading, the bulk of the facts are correct. There were a couple of government offices in these reconstruction plans, but they’re for administrative purposes. These buildings weren’t reviving the American capital, they’re for public good with just one or two small offices for minor paperwork and local management. You can’t have public housing and then place the agency in charge of it across town. It’s a few square feet in each building. It’s not a goddamn renaissance of American chauvinism. Don’t say goddamn. We are now being accused of both revitalizing nationalism and destroying cultural history, which would be laughable if these papers didn’t hold the power to derail all of our plans.

I’m consulting with our PR department, obviously, as I think it’s crucial that we change the narrative around this as soon as possible. It’s going to be so much harder now. Talk to your publicity team in Philadelphia. I think, no no, it is imperative we work together to snuff out this oversensitivity. The secrecy is obviously not an issue anymore.

My current plan is this. [sighs], Amy, what is my plan? I’m just reacting to all this, I don’t have a plan to deal with this. plan, my plan, uh…

We will have to explain why a public announcement was not made swiftly. I think we are best off saying that we decided to confirm all the details before we announced, rather than pester people with constant updates about something that to all intents and purposes wouldn’t affect them. Play it off as no big deal. I mean, we have the plans I sent you, there’s nothing to hide from. There will be more back and forth once the statement goes out, I’m sure, people appear to have a lot of thoughts and opinions about this. and while it is useless to try and assuage all doubts, I think we are honor bound to address at least some of the more common concerns as they arise.

In the long term, it is my opinion that we need to start planning a serious ongoing public awareness campaign, one that stretches even beyond our current plan to encompass an ideology around dealing with similar situations going forward. We can frame this as one in a long string of moments in which we, as a society, decide who we are and how we relate to the past. It will take some time and effort to convince people of the correctness of our plans for these buildings, and bringing them into the context of a wider idea for the world as a whole could help with that. We are gonna have to do a lot more work in the early stages than we had hoped. We’ll have to manage people’s expectations as well as manage the actual work.

I’m not sure who within our collective teams is completely behind this, but I will try to make inquiries, to rally support within the government. With our luck, the current outcry will only be a blip on the way to greater understanding of our goals.

Kind regards, Michael.

Fuck!

[cut]

Amy, I’m sure you’ve typed the memo up already, but forget it. Just get Raina on the phone for me. I want her ass in my office ASAP, I’ll just tell her this in person.

[cut]

I’m sorry I snapped a bit before. I wasn’t expecting this today, it threw me off balance a bit and I became slightly unreasonable. I want you to know that I appreciate your work and your discretion in this, as I do in all things. I’m sorry if I made you believe I doubted your loyalty even for a moment. I’m sure that made this day almost as stressful for you as it has been for me.

Amy, I need you to do a little investigating for me. If the public turns the Societal Counci in opposition to my plan for Washington, I’m hoping there will be people willing to stand beside me, uh besides Vishwati, and persuading them into agreement. Of course, we could go ahead with the plan without their blessing, but it would be unwise, I think. We are still living in unstable and unpredictable times, and peace must be maintained at all costs.

No, it would be dangerous to proceed if too many people do not approve. So it is very important I know how my colleagues feel about this and who I can rely on. If you can find out, probably just from the other secretaries, how I am regarded and whether the plan has support and from whom, I would appreciate that. It will be fine, of course. I shall speak to Vishwati, I’m sure she has seen the papers and is already eager to be of help. She’s the fixer. Even journalists are in awe of her. The hard part is telling her I’ve, we’ve, I’ve fucked up. But the newspapers solved that problem. I just need to tell her what I think needs to be done and she’ll do it. She’s always looking for solutions, not excuses. Solutions, yes.

Amy, contact Vishwati Ramadoss’ office and see when she will be free to take a call. It’ll have to be a rather long one, so make sure there’s no danger of her being called away to a meeting midway through.

[cut]

By the way, Amy, as well as declawing, are you able to look into the causes of hairballs in cats? Is there a way to discourage them happening at all? Something about how you feed the cat or maybe controlling how they clean themselves? I suspect it’s one of the things that you juts have to live with, isn’t it? Well, Vivi has fallen in love with the thing so there’s no hope for it, but one can only clean a rug so many times before it becomes quite a different rug.

[cut]

I need a drink. Amy, join me around 4. I’ve opened some bourbon. Knock first, though. [long silence]

[tape recorder turns off]

Within the Wires is a production of Night Vale Presents. It is written by Jeffrey Cranor and Janina Matthewson with original music by Mary Epworth. Find more of Mary’s music at maryepworth.com. The voice of Michael Witten is Lee LeBreton. You can support our show and get exclusive episodes and other cool things at patreon.com/withinthewires.

OK, our time is done. It’s you time now. Time to head to happy hour after a long day of work at the [bird factory], to enjoy a pint of [bacon fat] with your friend [Benicio del Toro].