#if i try to work part time thats just gonna complicate things

[smuclge]

jumping through all these fucking hoops to try and get paid leave is genuinely about to turn me into the fucking joker

[phagodyke]

one unfortunate thing abt watching bloody violent up-close-and-personal movies is that it makes me even more crazy touchstarved than usual after.. I need to wrestle someone NOW

[leoruby-draws]

Decided to post some more random, mostly minor characters from the DC universe, mostly ones that seemed they would be fun to draw. I guess technically these drawings are all based in my TrWh au, as always. Here they are:

Wanted to draw heroes with wings, I draw Vanessa quite a bit so I had to learn wings and feathers. Still working on it, but its fun. You can see Vanessa there at the bottom middle, looking a little menacing.

The girl with red wings is called...Redwing aka Carrie Levine. I thought she was a sweet kid, so her ultimate fate was pretty sad. Wonder if she'll come back to continuity at some point.

The guy with the mohawk is Northwind aka Norda Cantrell, part of Infinity Inc the earth 2 version of a Teen Titans group. He honestly didn't get a whole lot of focus in Infinity Inc, like the writer didn't know what to do with him. Maybe they should've made him into the magic fighter of the group, almost felt like thats what they were going for him before they wrote him off.

The girl in yellow is Dawnstar, part of the Legion of Superheroes. I haven't read much of LoSH, mostly some 90's issues. But her design is soooo pretty I had to draw her, her costume here is a mix of her various outfits.

Lastly, here's Bluejay aka Jay Abrams again, part of Justice League Europe. Kinda thought JLE was a bit of a letdown, I mean the team's made up of mostly americans not europeans! I think Crimson Fox was the only european, I thought her set-up of being two people was cool.

Little extra Infinity doodle, here's Hector Hall (Silver Scarab) hating on poor Norda, with Lyta Trevor (Fury) looking on with confusion. Hector's just a hater (tho there's reasons for it ig), an archetype you see sometimes in some superhero groups, like Roy Harper or Guy Gardner. The plot-line of Hector's resentment of Norda was kinda interesting, but like with most things in Infinity it didn't get the focus it should've gotten. Speaking of Infinity, here's some more doodles:

There's Rex Tyler (Hourman 1) with little Rick Tyler (Hourman 2), enjoying some father-son time. Apparently Rick's first costume isn't well liked (so says reddit). I thought it seemed cute but maybe it works better as a kid's or sidekick's kinda costume?

In the middle is Jack Knight (Starman) suffering as he interacts with Sylvester Pemberton (Skyman, formerly the Star-Spangled Kid) and Courtney Whitmore (Stargirl, actually she should still be S-SK but whatever). In my au he actually joins Infinity Inc, since everyone becomes heroes earlier he's actually around when the team's still running. I suspect his dad (Ted Knight) forced him into it. Also Courtney doesn't respect Jack at all, he's so annoyed at this. Look at her mini-staff, I presume Ted made it for her.

Also there's Beth Chapel (Dr. Mid-Nite) and Jesse Chambers (Jesse Quick) looking cool. Jesse also joins Infinity Inc in my au, will there be a love triangle going on between Beth, Rick and Jesse? Don't think Rick's gonna survive that, aw well.

Look at baby Jade and Obsidian, Alan is overwhelmed by their antics.

In another post someone asked if I could draw more of the Relative Heroes, a super obscure hero group. So @draculaura1660, this one's for you. Here they are:

I kinda had a hard time drawing this group, cuz their costumes are so complicated! I wished there was a reference/concept art for them cuz it was a struggle trying to figure out the details, the comic art did not help matters at all. You might have noticed I changed details anyways, I tend to simplify costumes for my au both to make it easier to draw and also to signify their younger ages. It's just fun to play around with costume design ig.

Some more characters!

Jinx, who looks very different between her comic and cartoon self. I did like her pink hair, so decide to see how it would look on her comic self. There's Kole, who also has different designs in comic/cartoons. I think her comic costume is so cool, esp that color pallet! But I love her pink hair in the cartoon, so she's got pink hair here! Just like pink hair a lot lol.

The other pink haired girl is Laethwen, love interest of Ray Palmer in Sword of the Atom. I think I made her hair more pink to better differentiate her from Starfire, also, again I just like pink hair. I wished she and her little kingdom didn't die, in my au Ray saves them! Maybe he relocates them to his backyard or something?

Little Donna and Vanessa doodle, did you know they never once interacted on panel? The closest is when Donna brings her stepsister Cindy to talk to Vanessa instead. I wonder how they would even interact, I know Vanessa wanted to be wonder girl (and resented Cassie for 'taking' it from her). Did she look up to Donna, or wanted her out of the way? Funnily enough Donna wasn't even Diana's sidekick when post-crisis started, due to both their origins being reworked and contradicting each other's timelines. It's all very confusing.

Anyways, some bonus doodles:

Had fun making a new outfit for Laethwen, I imagine she took some inspiration from indigenous groups from the Amazon, seeing as that's where her people crashed into.

Kole's costume is just so beautiful but so complicated, maybe that's why she got killed off so soon in Crisis on Infinite Earths.

Lastly, here's Bette bugging Dick with Barbara being super amused about it. I said in my post about her that I didn't really care about her crush on Robin, which is true, but I still wanted to doodle something making fun of it. Poor Dick is doesn't know how to get outta of this social situation.

Well that was a lot, hope you liked all that.

[yetanothergreyjedi]

Ghosts of Our Pasts

DP x DC crossover

Damian Wayne and Danny Fenton siblings AU

Parts 1 & 2 Part 3.

Part 4

He looked more like Bruce than Damian did, which felt right for the brother that had died leaving the assassins.

Danyal's stance was not a League of Assassin's stance. It could be that he was trying not to look openly hostile, but if Dick was honest, it reminded him most of Wonder Woman. Danyal stood like he might throw himself into the air with no expectation of gravity pushing him back down. Interesting, but de-escalation first.

"Richard Grayson," Dick introduced himself with a wave, "But you can call me Dick."

Danyal's lips did the little twitch that everyone's lips did when he told them his nickname. Daynal didn't relax yet though.

"Hi, Dick, I'm Danny."

"I'm Tim, but we established that... and you know Damian..."

The silence stretched.

"Well, if that's all you guys wanted..." Danny took a few steps backwards deeper into the alley, never letting any of them out of view.

"I should have gone with you." Damian said. It was an apology; though someone who didn't know him might not realize. "...I did not understand, not until I came here..."

Danny closed his eyes, looking away for the first time, clearly internalizing something in Damian's words. With every second, he seemed to realize that no attack was coming, and none was going to come.

"Maybe we should go back to the coffee shop?" Tim suggested, good. A neutral, public place would ease at least some of the tension.

Danny grimaced, a hand coming to rub the back of his neck. "Yeah, I sorta... I need to head back there..."

"Okay, cool," Dick said, as if the tension still didn't require tools to cut.

The walk back was an awkward mess of everyone trying to stay in Danny’s eyeline despite the crowd and him pretending he wasn't nervous when he couldn't see them. Dick had already decided that if Danny ran again, he was going to make sure they let him run. Chasing would only make him trust them less, and Danny wasn't a criminal (probably).

He gave them all an unreadable look as they re-entered the coffee shop. Dick wasn't sure what to make of it until an older bald man declared, "Mr. Fenton!"

"Sorry, Mr. Lancer..." Danny said, every bit a sheepish high-schooler. He sat down at the table he'd been at before the chase as the older man began a lecture about safety in big cities and staying with the group. Well... that complicated things.

The barista called Tim's drink.

---

"Are you good, man?" Tucker asked as soon as Lancer's attention went back to focusing on the group as a whole and not just their table.

"I think so, Tuck, but, uh... this... I don’t know, I don't think the just chilling plan is gonna work..."

"Is this related to Gotham? I thought she gave you permission?"

"She didn't just give me permission, Sam, she welcomed me... I know why now... its just complicated..."

"So... is that why the Wayne's were chasing you?" It was said like a joke.

Sam's eyes widened when he answered. "Yeah,"

Tucker stuttered out a confused mix of excited syllables, "Does that mean we get to meet—"

"Their just people, Tucker." Sam reminded, "Spoiled rich kids who at least manage to cause a scene at every other gala, so they get to rank slightly higher than all the other rich kids, because at least their not boring."

"Sam!" Tuckers exclamation caught Lancer's attention. The teacher called on them to restate what he had said. Sam guessed correctly, Tucker and Danny did not, and so the lecture started over.

Danny patiently waited for the lecture to end before whispering, "You guys know how I'm adopted..."

"Yeah..."

"So..." Danny gestured to the group of siblings that appeared to be arguing over... napkins? What were they doing?

"Wait, you know the Wayne's? Why didn't you ever say something?" Tucker exclaimed.

"Uh... well, the League of Assassins stuff..."

"Uh huh,"

"Actually, thats a bad way to explain it... my biological father is Batman."

"The Batman?!" For all of her 'people are just people' talk, Sam was too excited.

"Yes, and I can't fully explain all this without getting into identity stuff."

"Danny, Danny, Danny, first of all fair, but second, how far off is Wes?"

Danny tried very hard to not react to that. Which apparently was the same as saying yes, so he shushed them before they could start.

"I don't know how he connects to the League. This is more secret than mine, okay?"

They sobered, argued that phantom was equally important, but Danny didn't budge. So they excepted it as a weird obsession thing and agreed.

"Wait so, how did you not end up a Wayne kid?"

"The assassins have access to ectoplasm and I traded some for my parents to hide me."

"I hate that that tracks."

"To be fair, I didn't understand how actually messed up it was until later."

"Wait, so is Batman apart of..."

"I don't know, I thought he was. But the fact that I'm not stabbed right now is a good sign."

"You say that like you were planning on letting yourself get stabbed..."

Danny sighed, "It would be easier to fake my death... or like, actually die for a few days, than to resist and have them realize I'd require ending."

"Great." Sam said with forced cheer. "How are we modifying the vacation plans?"

-

-

-

Part 5

Tag list:

Next part is finished but is a bit short, I will not post 5 until I have 6 written and 6 is being mean to me.

Edit: Part six bit me, so it's in time out. But the draft is finished.

@spectralstardustandphantomnights @avelnfear @idfk-man10 @blackroserelina @candeartist422 @mur-ururu @luer-mirin @insufferablecatenthusiast @skulld3mort-1fan @alonedustspeck @voidbornposts @meira-3919 @marshmelloe @aethernorwood @mimilikey @undead-essence @cloudminder @markus209 @everything163 @latheevening226 @roman4517 @moobloomrights @battybatbat @lumosfeather18581 @werv @ahyesanerd @pyramaniac @lexdamo @princessbelix @bun-fish @deeannthepan @edgyboi10000 @thatrandomsarahchick @busterkeel @aconitewolfsbane @spoopyspoony @bright-shade @spidey29phangirl @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @keimiwolf @u-a-wizard-jamie @gay-puff @bicerise @itshype @blackfoxsposts @icanneverdecide @lolottes @chubbypotato @jovialherringtacoghost @saltyladynightmare

@pastalavistamf @mysoulspiralbound @mj-arts-n-stuff @andaspoonfulofangst-whoops @apointlessbox

Apparently there is a mention cap on posts, who knew! I will see about the best way to add anyone else.

[underratedandoverit]

Too Afraid To Fly Cause They Want Me To Fall

995 words orangekip (orange cassidy/kip sabian)

first of all, required listening for this fic second, im not over the possibility of kip being the only safe haven left for oc after the best friends break up and betrayal so im gonna run with this thought since tk (the coward) isnt giving it to me on my television. we have a whole au about this thing so consider this a part of that but i doubt im posting more in that any time soon so just. look at this thing lmao

hurt/comfort, on the emotional side. late night anxiety and kissing it away. just a lot of questioning about the realness of things and relationships and such. all with a happy ending. thats it 💜💜💜

@midnightpretenders0 @stormbornpirate

on ao3

-------------------------

Cassidy held his breath as he felt the bed shifting next to him. As far as he knew in the moment, Kip thought he was asleep; it had been what felt like hours since he had gotten into bed, claiming to be exhausted and wanting to get a head start on sleep since it was finally a calm weekend of just being at home for him. Kip didn’t seem to think anything of it, just kissing his cheek and wished him good night before returning to the stream room so his potential yelling wouldn’t bother Cassidy’s attempt at getting some rest.

But the truth was definitely more complicated than that. Not that Cassidy would admit it, but he wasn’t even nearly as tired as he was claiming to be. Or maybe he was, but it surely didn’t feel like it with the thoughts racing in his mind all day, and all night, honestly.

All he really wanted was to lay in the darkness, let the thoughts slip out of his mind in the shape of tears forcing their way out of him, not make Kip aware of the pain still pushing through in his chest.

It had been weeks. Months. And yet it felt like it was only yesterday when the Best Friends had fallen apart. Time moved in a haze in Cassidy’s mind, he saw the calendar pages change but it didn’t mean anything anymore; every day felt the same, whether it was going through the motions of a free day at home, traveling for work, being at work. The routine was a highly welcomed numbing sensation, but at the same time it hurt more than he cared to admit.

Cassidy could feel Kip’s arms slipping under his blanket, hand grabbing his, other arm sliding underneath him and around his waist. Kip didn’t care if he was asleep or not, he was going to get in as close and personal as possible, knowing the issues Cassidy still had sleeping alone. The blond felt himself being pulled against Kip’s chest, a soft little kiss being pressed to the back of his neck.

He shivered, unwillingly.

“…Hey.”

The soft whisper left Cassidy’s lips before he could stop himself. Something about Kip’s soft gestures despite thinking he was asleep got to him, temporarily lowering that wall he had built around himself when it came to letting anyone get too close again.

Somehow Kip always seemed to manage to crash through it, however.

“Mmhhmm?” Kip sounded sleepy, mumbling against the back of Cassidy’s neck, making the blond swallow thickly. He could feel Kip gently squeezing his hand, pressing another kiss against the exposed skin on his neck.

“Do you… Do you think we’re going to be okay?”

Cassidy regretted the words as soon as he felt Kip moving, snuggling his head close so it rested on Cassidy’s shoulder, the Brit humming quietly in his ear.

“Why wouldn’t we be?”

He didn’t really know, but the feeling in his gut that Kip wasn’t going to like his answer grew up stronger with every passing silent second as Cassidy tried to form some sort of sensible order of words in his head.

“Clementine?”

“…Do you really love me?”

Kip’s arm disappeared from around his waist, his head leaving Cassidy’s shoulder as he sat up. The blond froze in place, not entirely sure how to react. He could feel Kip’s eyes on him, observing, studying him, trying to find the place where those questioning words came from.

“Of course I do. What… Did something happen?”

He thought about it for a moment, slowly shaking his head as Cassidy sat up as well. Even in the dark bedroom, it was impossible to hide the forming tears from Kip’s overly observant gaze, it taking no time for him to wrap his arms around Cassidy and pull him into a tight embrace.

He was going to hate how those tears stained the shoulder of his shirt, Cassidy knew that, but he just couldn’t pull away.

“I just… After everything…”

Kip gently hushed him at the first hiccup that cut him off, pressing a soft kiss to Cassidy’s temple. He let the tears flow freely, for the first time after what felt like days, maybe weeks, the shaky breaths ghosting down Kip’s chest.

“Of course I love you. You’re my sweet Clementine.”

Another kiss, into his hair. Cassidy hiccuped quietly.

Sweet Clementine.

“There’s nothing that could stop me from loving you.”

He cried maybe a little bit more than before, Cassidy honestly wasn’t sure anymore. The bedroom, the darkness, it all became a blur, he could feel nothing but Kip’s lips on him, Kip’s arms around him.

His soft heartbeat against Cassidy’s chest.

“I know it’s difficult to believe after everything… But I would never lie to you.”

Cassidy could feel Kip pulling away slightly, one hand slipping to his face. The thumb rubbing his cheek stained it with tears in a feeble attempt to wipe them away, but the smile Cassidy could barely see on Kip’s face through them was enough to calm his mind anyway.

“I love you. Forever.”

The floodgates were so close to being fully opened again.

“F… Forever?”

Kip smiled, letting out a soft chuckle before he leaned in for a soft kiss. It was warm, Cassidy could taste his tears in it, the saltiness still reminding him of Kip in a way. He almost wanted to laugh at the thought, feeling the lightness finally, slowly, returning to him. The darkness persisted, but only physically, the bedroom slowly morphing into something more comforting the longer Kip’s lips lingered on his, breathing comforting life back into him.

The Brit slowly pulled away, Cassidy letting out a shaky breath. Kip hummed at him, leaning his forehead against his, trying to match the blond’s breathing.

“Yeah. Forever.”

Cassidy sniffled, feeling Kip’s hand brushing against his cheek. This time the tears disappeared successfully. He wanted to laugh again.

“For-forever with you…. That sounds perfect.”

[theladybarnes]

CHERRY BOMB: CHAPTER SIX

“You can't spell "America" without "Erica”

▸ summary:  at work things take a turn for the worst, but that’s not all thats in store ▸ characters: jonathan byers, billy hargrove, steve harrington, ft. scoops troop ▸ word count: 6.4k           ▸ warnings: angst, violence, semi-fluff,  ▸ series masterlist

Getting ready for work that afternoon ended up being a slower process.  Especially when the previous night kept replaying in your mind.

 Whether it be because of the conversations, the sex, or just the few hours of sleep you both got. Something felt different with Steve. Being truthful with the boy had always made things more complicated. But being honest and telling him how you felt about something for once actually felt..good.

 Though the whole notion felt terrifying, you couldn’t help but think maybe it would be time to talk to Steve about how you truly felt. 

 Picking up the photostrip from your nightstand. You smile at the picture again feeling like for the first time in a while you knew what you had to do. “Today.” you whispered to yourself. “It’s gonna happen today.”

 *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

 The loud sounds of knocking came from down the hall, making you frown at the sudden noise. Dustin was long gone this morning, and your Aunt had stepped out for some shopping. So who the hell was coming to your house now?

 “Who is it?” you called out, quickly dashing to the front door. You barely peeked an eye through the peephole when the person on the other side called out to you.

 “I need to talk to you!”

 Sighing, you opened up the door, shocked to find your friend of all people on your doorstep. “What the hell are you doing here, Creep?” you asked, turning your wrist over to look at your watch. “You should definitely be in your little red room at work..”

 “I got fired.”

 “Wow,” you mused. “Must have developed some shitty photos.”

 He grimaced at your response before he pushed his way in, moving to sit down over at the couch. Glancing at the time once more, you calculated just how many minutes you had before being late for work. But considering the fact that Jonathan hasn’t looked this stressed out in a while, you’ll take the berating from your coworker Adam.

 “All right.” you sighed, closing the door. “Tell me why you and your sour face got fired.” Plopping down on the seat beside him, you crossed your arms over your chest and looked at him carefully. 

 “Nancy.” he spat. Like the name tasted bitter on his tongue. “She got the both of us fired.”

 “What? How?”

 “Because of the ridiculous rat story that she wouldn’t give up!” Rubbing his hand over his face, he took in a deep breath before he glanced over at you. “She just kept trying to get all this information. Breaking so many rules..”  

 “Well..I mean, there’s been many journalists in the past that have gone through drastic measures to get a good story.” 

 “Yeah? And were most of their sources from a paranoid schizophrenic?”

 Your mouth formed into an ‘o’ unsure of how to even help Nancy with that knowledge. 

 “What’s worse is the family of the source is threatening to take litigation.”

 “Litigation? Against two minors? If anything that’d most likely go against the news–” The answer suddenly came to you. “..That’s why you guys got fired, isn’t it?”

 “It’s part of the reason.” he laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “God, I’m so screwed…I’m so screwed a-and Nancy doesn’t even get it!” Frowning at that, you can’t help but raise a brow, silently asking for him to elaborate on that.

 “She doesn’t understand how even if this was a shitty internship. It was a job! A job that I seriously needed.” Frowning down at his hands, he can’t help but mess around with the end of his tie, angrily tugging on it until he finally reached up to loosen it.

 “I’m sure she is..but you know Nance..she’s driven. It’s what you like about her.”

 “She’s driven, but lately? Careless. I told her so many times to drop this story. How it’d lead her nowhere and even if she did have a hunch, these guys wouldn’t take it.” He held his hand out looking down at the scar that laid out over the palm of his hand. “I get that she’s upset with how they’ve been treating her, and she’s right. They were assholes. But it’s hard to get a job..especially one doing what you like.”

 “I know..” you said softly. “But there’s always a chance to work somewhere else. Find a better place–”

 “Look, I know you’re trying to make sense of this but you and Nancy don’t get it.”

 “..Get what?”

 “What it’s like to be poor!” 

 You leaned back a bit, looking slightly stunned by the outburst. There wasn’t ever a time where you have ever struggled with money. Even now. The job at the pool was mostly to help keep extra pocket money. 

 “I get that I must come off like some boring Oliver Twist story. But this is my life. I’m going to have to work hard for the rest of my life to get to where I need to be. I won’t have my parents to help give me money so I can go to school wherever I want. It’ll be because of me.”

 Biting your lip, you waited for Jonathan to calm down before you slowly reached out and placed a hand on top of his. Giving him a small smile before you finally put together everything you wanted to say.

 “I’m sorry you got fired.” you started. “That must have felt super shitty. Especially since you were relying so much on the money from it.”

 Jonathan let out a breath he had been holding in. Looking even more distraught since spilling out everything. But he stayed quiet, seeming to know you’d continue.

 “You’re right about Nancy and I. We definitely come from a world where we’ll never really have the financial struggle that you’ve come to know.” Tilting your head, you try to be as tactful as you can be about something you’d never understand. “I’ve always seen how hard you worked and it’s something I’ve admired. To save money and change how your life has been right?”

 “..right.” he answered warily.

 “So it’s safe to assume Nancy would want the same thing, wouldn’t she?”

 “But Nancy doesn’t need mon–”

 “I’m not talking about Money.” you interrupted. “Nancy’s goal this summer was to work to become a successful journalist. Or at least as close to one as an intern can get.”

 “Well, yeah.”

 “And we both know that the assholes over at the paper were sort of making her life hell for that, right?”

 “Yeah, but–”

 “So it’s safe to say that sticking around in the office getting lunch and coffee for the guys isn’t really going to improve her efforts in getting any closer to that goal.”

 “Right.”

 “So what aren’t we seeing, Jonathan?” you clapped. “Because it looks like if Nancy didn’t take the initiative to try and uncover a story, then she’d have never progressed in any of the work she wanted to.” His mouth fell open a bit as he tried to stutter an answer. “She even had you working on something other than the mundane photos they had you doing for page six.”

 “But that story wasn’t leading anywhere but our termination!”

 “It was something she had to try! A chance for her to prove herself.”

 “Why does she have to prove anything to those assholes?! She could have worked her way up to an assignment like anyone else.”

 “Because as someone who’s going to have to work in a male dominated industry, standing back and taking the brunt of people’s prejudice doesn’t work when you’re a girl. They don’t see her as a strong person who deserves a chance because she managed to push through their hazing. No, they see her as a thing beneath them. Like an ant under a boot.”

 “Come on.” Jonathan sighed, falling back against the cushion. “T-that’s not how it would have gone.”

 “It would have. Okay?” Glancing at your watch, you tried to ignore the flush of panic when you noticed how long the conversation went. “Come on.” Pulling him up from the couch, you dragged him to the front door, giving him a push outside so that the both of you can head towards your cars. He looked down at the ground, frowning in what you hoped wasn’t further frustration and more so contemplation. But knowing Jonathan, he was going to mull this over for a while.

 “And look, I get that Nancy isn’t being the most considerate with your situation. Which is shitty on her part and I’d love to drive on maple street to beat her up for you but I’m running late.” He looked up at you from his car, watching as you opened up the driver’s door before you turned back to look at him. “I love you, buddy, but at the end of the day there’s one hard truth I need you to accept.” 

 “Which is what?”

 “In this world, you can change being poor. But Nancy can’t change being a girl.”

  By the time you arrive at work, you’re shocked to find that your lateness isn’t the biggest thing going on. 

 “There you are!” 

 Adam, the stupid shift lead, marched out of the front entrance the moment your car pulled in. You barely closed the door when he finally reached you. 

 “Look, sorry I’m late my friend was in need of a serious–“

 “Henderson, I really don’t give a shit about your friend. I need you for something else.” He said quickly, making you stop in place. Giving him a weird look, you’re about to ask what the hell he meant when he grabbed at your hand. Leading you over towards the locker rooms. It’s not until you’re outside the boy’s side that he finally let go.

 “What the hell is going on?” 

 “Billy!” Adam exclaimed. “He’s been a weird asshole lately but today he’s even..weirder.”

 “How?” you frowned, not having really paid attention to Billy lately. Not that you had a problem with that. The less you were involved in his life the better. 

 “He’s been in the lockers for an hour! Just under the showerhead. It’s freaking everyone out!”

 “So tell him to go home. I don’t see why you need me-”

 “You need to go in there and get him out.” Adam said simply. When you opened your mouth to rebut that he held up his hand. “You’re the only girl here who’s not only dated him before, but isn’t afraid to deal with his anger.”

 You want to argue that you have dealt with his anger and it’s never worked out in your end. But you couldn’t exactly go into details of the past few months. “Look, I get that I’m pretty good at telling him off..but I don’t want anything to do with him. It’s been really complicated for us.”

 “I promise this will be the only favor I ask from you.” Pleaded the boy, looking almost nervously at the door. “I’ll even fix your check ins so that it doesn’t show how late you’ve been this week.”

 That did sound promising. But you didn’t really have a problem with that either. “I really don���t like talking to him, Adam.”

 “I know but please. Just do this nice thing for once?”

 Biting your lip, you try and not focus on the choice of words. Having felt like an utter bitch these past few days, you figured one day where you were nice wouldn’t hurt. Pushing your hair back, you nodded at Adam. He let out a relieved breath before he shot you a thumbs up, grabbing the door for you so that you could make your way inside. 

 Once you’re in, he quickly closes the door behind you. Trapping you in the shadowy locker room with nothing but the sound of a shower running. 

 “Billy?” you called out, taking slow calculated steps. While he was your ex boyfriend, you did not want to start your work day seeing Billy naked. “There’s uh some girls outside that need help with getting the sunblock on their back. I think they’re looking for you.”

 Again there’s no response. Making you shiver a bit as you round the corner to the showers. Thankfully he’s still clothed. But the sight of him leaning against the shower with his head hung low is oddly chilling.

 “You know, if you aren’t feeling too hot there’s such a thing as calling out sick.” you said, moving to stand just a few steps away from him. The light sprinkle of water hitting at your feet. When he still didn’t respond, you worried that for a second he might actually be too sick to even move. So you reached out to gently place a hand on his shoulder.

 “Do you need me to call for help?”

 He spun around faster than you could blink, taking long strides towards you until your back hit hard against the tile wall. His cold hands wrapped tight around your throat as he brought his face towards you.

 “You’re the one who’s gonna need help.” he gritted. Glare hard on his face.

 The tightness around your throat had you frozen in place. While it was painful it thankfully wasn’t cutting off any air. But the fact that he was carefully pushing between the line of choking or not ran a chill through you.

 “Let me go.” you demanded calmly, not wanting to anger Billy as well as not show him your fear. “Billy, let me go. NOW.”

 “You must think everyone should listen to you, huh?” he spat, bringing his face in even closer. “Who died and made you the bitch in charge?” 

 “I’d like to think I present pretty good leadership–”

 He gripped tighter at your throat. Angry from your snide remark. “I’m so tired of your goddamn mouth. Always running and pissing me off.” he growled, shaking your neck a bit. The pressure turned stronger, making you feel slightly light headed before he finally let up.

 “Then let me go!” you hissed, trying to claw at his hands now. 

 “Why? So you can go run off and tell your little boyfriend?” he chuckled, pressing his body against yours now. “Oh wait, you aren’t together. Because it’s been months and you’re still single. Well, aside from the nights where I’m sure Harrington needs to get his dick wet.”

 “It’s not like that..”

 “Oh? Because let’s face it. If he actually liked you, he’d have struck up the nerve by now to actually do something about it.” Billy laughed, letting his thumb graze up to rub at the line of your jaw. “But why would he do that? You give it up for him willingly. All so that you can feel for that one minute that someone in this world might actually want you.”

 He moved his hand to grip at your jaw, forcing your gaze to be in line with his. “But no one is ever going to want you.” He said calmly. “No matter who you sleep with, no matter who you flirt with. They’ll only ever want one thing.”

 The tears you’re trying to hold back suddenly spring to your eyes. Making it hard to keep your face hard when all you want to do is break down. “Why are you doing this?” you whimpered, trying to push his hands off you.

 “Because he likes it..He likes it when you’re completely and utterly alone.”

 He?

 Before you could ask what he meant, Billy’s grip got harder, and you slowly started to feel your body rise up from the ground. The lightness returns to your head and makes you feel faint. No matter how hard you kicked or clawed at his hands, he still wouldn’t let go. It wasn’t until there was a banging at the locker room door that Billy suddenly snapped. Eyes wide as he quickly dropped you.

 “Babydoll?” he asked, confused, trying to reach out for you.

 But even with your coughing and pain in your legs, you backed away from him. Not wanting to give him the chance to torture you with his hands and weird words again. “You’re a monster!” you cried out, gripping at the base of your neck.

 “What? I-I don’t understand.”

 “Don’t understand?” you asked, getting up from the cold floor finally. “Let me help you understand.” Placing your hands on his shoulders, you roughly bring up your knee and hit him against the balls. Causing him to keel over and groan in pain. 

 He called out to you, reaching a hand up but you ignored it to rush out of the locker room. The bright sunlight nearly blinded you as you stepped out onto the main pool area. The sounds of people laughing and splashing around were almost taunting as you tried to control your emotions. What would have happened if you had stayed there? Would Billy have actually tried to kill you? 

 “Hey, that took you guys long enough. Did he finally–hey are you okay?” Adam asked, gently placing a hand on your shoulder. The sudden touch from another man today has you recoiling.

 “Don’t touch me!” you rasped, watching as his eyes grew wide. The sound of the doors behind you opening up got your attention quickly and you turned to not give Billy your back as he stepped out.

 Instead of looking remorseful or anything close to that. He looked eerily calm. A long white sleeve tank covered up his body and he gave a simple salute to the man beside you before he stalked off towards his post.

 He was acting as if nothing just happened. Like he didn’t just choke you out in the middle of the goddamn day. Ripping off the fanny pack from your waist, you shoved it hard against Adam’s chest. “I quit!” 

 Not wanting to hear his reply, you dashed off towards the front entrance. Ignoring the weird looks that some of the people around you were giving. It’s not until you’re trying to open up your car door that you see your reflection. The tears in your eyes made your mascara run and the lines around your neck were red. A total mess.

 There was only one person you wanted to see and damn it if you weren’t going to go see him now that you didn’t have a job. 

  By the time you arrive at the mall, it’s late afternoon. You gave yourself a few moments to compose yourself in the car and tried to clean up your appearance. But each time you felt yourself calm down you couldn’t help but flash back to the locker room. Reverting back to feeling so..hopeless.

 Even as you went through the mall, you felt as if you’re drifting through the crowds of people. Not fully there despite driving there yourself. 

 The minute you entered inside Scoops you felt like everyone had their eye on you. And with the way you were covering yourself, you probably did. It felt horrible. You never allowed yourself to feel this low and yet no matter how hard you tried to turn back into your normal self you couldn’t.

 You spot Dustin and Robin sitting at one of the tables with Erica, Lucas’ younger sister. The three of them looked deep in conversation. Turning to go over and join them, you open your mouth to speak when you feel a hand gently placed at the small of your back.

 “Hey, gorgeous.” Steve greeted you. Smile wide and dazzling as ever. He was holding onto a perfectly crafted banana split. “Was wondering if you were gonna–” His words cut off the moment his eyes glanced at your neck. 

Without saying anything, he held up a finger and rushed over to the table to place the ice cream down in front of Erica. Leaning in closely after that to speak to the three of them quietly. Naturally, they all glanced over at you worriedly before nodding their heads. Steve quickly returned to your side. Careful when he reached for your hand.

 “Come with me.”

  The two of you were in the backroom now. You’ve managed to retell all that happened to Steve without bursting into tears, but that didn’t stop a few lingering drops to roll past your cheeks. It’s been a couple of minutes and Steve grew uncharacteristically quiet. Only speaking to ask if he could touch your neck to check it out himself. 

 There was a pained look to his face when he began to analyze it. The tip of his finger following the dark lines over your skin. The frown was so harsh on his face. It made you wish you could reach out to wipe the concern away. 

 “Say something.” you sighed after another minute of silence.

 He pursed his lips, letting his finger gently graze at the base of your neck once more before he finally sat back. “The good news is, I don’t think the bruise will stay that long. It’ll be gnarly for the day but we have ice we can help calm that down with.”

 “And the bad news?”

 “The bad news is, I gotta leave you here.”

 “..Why?”

 “Because I gotta go kill this asshole.”

 He didn’t even give you a chance to react before he quickly stood up from the chair, already making his way towards the swinging door. You managed to quickly pull him back in, dragging him back to the table.

 “Steve, don’t.” you sighed, trying to calm him down. There was a red hue creeping up his face and you swear you’ve never seen Steve quickly turn so angry before. It’s almost weird to see this urgency and defense come for your behalf. The only other times you’ve seen this was last fall when Billy first arrived. It threw you off then and it’s throwing you off now

 “You cannot expect me to just stay here after this asshole hurt you?” he asked. 

 “I know! And I wish I could let you go after him but..”

 “But what? This dickwad thinks he can get away with this again!” Pulling out of your grip he tried for the door again before you moved to stand in front of him, blocking the way. “Please move. You have no idea how much I need to take care of this.”

 You licked your lips, shaking your head at Steve. “I know, and you’re right. But we can’t go to him right now. Not when he’s acting this deranged. Not when I’m not sure what’s going on with him.”

 “Who gives a shit what’s going on with him, trouble? He hurt you!” Moving a hand to cup at the side of your face, he leaned forward to press his forehead against yours. As if he was trying to pull you into him. “He’s hurt you so many times and just walks away freely. I need to get him back.”

 You closed your eyes reveling in the feeling of his closeness. “I need you right now, Steve. I need you here with me..”

 He breathed heavily through his nose, thankfully not letting go of you just yet. “Baby,” he pleaded. Using such a lovely pet name that you’re almost distracted at keeping him in place.. “What about–”

 “We’ll deal with him.” You cut in, keeping the focus on the right things. “I promise…just not now. Let’s just deal with the Russians first.”

 Pulling his head back, he allowed his eyes to scan over your face again. Leaning in after to press a kiss against your forehead, cheek, and then finally at your lips. Bringing a sense of warmth and comfort back inside of you for the first time in hours. 

 Neither one of you seem to care about just where you’re kissing right now. Going as far to wrap your arms around his neck to deepen it. You can’t give up the way his kisses made you feel inside. 

 Steve doesn’t seem to mind either. Allowing you to push the moment further. Only moving his hands down to your hips as he rubbed soothingly. It felt nice to have some sort of control again that helped ground you back to Earth. Something you’re thankful to Steve for.

 You sighed contently, pulling back for air later. Steve chased after your lips for a second before he gave you one last peck. “You promise after this we’ll go deal with him?” he asked softly.

 “Promise. Evil Russians first, then evil ex second.”

 Nodding his head, he pulled away from you a bit. Only stepping back enough so that he could reach down and lace your hand with his. You squeezed at his grip, giving him a small but appreciative smile. 

 “All right. Let’s get to work then.” 

 He leads the way back out, pushing the swinging door open. The two of you are slow as you walk towards the table where the other three were but you can’t help but feel you need it at the moment.

 Glancing at your side, you watched as Steve fought to compose himself again, using his other hand to rub away at the frustration that was slightly still evident on his face. 

 “You know, you’re hot when you’re protective like that.” you smirked, starting to feel a little like yourself again. “You must get that way for all your friends, huh?” 

 Steve sighed, giving you an incredulous look before he squeezed at your hand. Shaking his head. “No, not all my friends.” he said, tilting his head as he looked over you carefully. “Just you.”

 By the time you guys actually joined the others. Erica had agreed to join the group’s plan to get into the storage room. And while you weren’t comfortable with the idea of adding someone else, especially a child, to be in danger. You’d stay quiet in order to finally get this task out of the way, hopefully being the last step needed to get the proof and possibly get out of this mall. 

 Waiting with Robin for Dustin and Steve to join you guys on the roof. You took the chance with a bit of privacy to finally work on fixing up the messes from the other day. 

 “It’s becoming warm again.” You noted, wincing to yourself for such an awkward ice breaker. Beside you Robin pulled the binoculars down from her face, a somewhat shocked expression to your voice. 

 “Uh, yeah. The rain was a total pain.” 

 “Totally, hated how the weather just..kept changing. Like whiplash.” 

 “Whiplash?”

 Sniffing, you rubbed your hands together while looking out over the view. “Yeah, like one day it was nice and fun then the next day it was just a total bitch..The weather really sucks.” You stole a glance over at Robin, noticing her face stay confused. 

 “The weather..”

 “I’m the weather, Robin.”

 “Oh!”

 Chuckling a bit, you shook your head, pulling back so that you could face her better. Motioning for her to do the same so you could have her full attention.

 “I’m sorry about the other night.” you said softly. “When I’m upset and scared I tend to react harshly.” Some of the guilt from the other night began to creep back in, but you pushed that feeling aside to get through with your apology. “I shouldn’t have called you an idiot. You’re not. In fact, I think you’re one of the few smartest people I know. I just became desperate for you to understand how serious this was to me. I totally get if you hate me now.”

 Robin sat silently for a second. Fiddling with the object in her hands until she finally set it down at her side. “It’s water under the bridge.” she answered finally.

 “..Seriously?” you asked, shocked to have her so easily forgive you. 

 “Yup!”

 “But I was such a bitch to you.”

 “Were you really a bitch for trying to convince your younger cousin and I not to go after evil Russians?” she snorted, reaching up to push a piece of her hair behind her ear. “I mean, even if I still want to go through with all this, I totally get how insane it is.”

 “Still,” you frowned. “I didn’t have to stoop so low.”

 “From what Steve told us that night, you were going pretty easy on us.”

 Your mouth flopped a bit, unsure what Steve could have even said to them after you left. But considering the two big fights you’ve had with Steve in the past, you’re sure he had some examples for them. 

 “Besides,” Robin said looking down at her hands. “I don’t think I could ever hate you.”

 “Really?” 

 She smiled a bit, almost as if she was thinking of something fondly. “You’re one of the few people in Hawkins that treats me like I’m normal.” Her blue eyes glanced at you before she shyly ducked her gaze back over the balcony again. 

 “Robin, you are normal.” You were unsure why there’d be a reason for her to feel so unordinary. Sure, she wasn’t a part of the crowd of ‘popular’ students. But there were people who knew her, talked to her, and treated them like a normal peer. What made her feel so out of place?

“I don’t really feel that way.” she said honestly. “And sometimes I think people agree.” She glanced over to the rooftop door. Almost like she was expecting someone to come through. For  a second you wondered why she would even care what the people here thought. But the longer she stared, the more you began to wonder. 

 Was it the people she was worried about, or was it..

 “Steve!” she whispered, waving over to the boy. He quickly came through the door with Dustin in tow. Your younger cousin had barely spoken to you since the other night and even today he seemed to barely grunt a response to you. 

 Surprisingly, he still moved to sit by your side. Letting Steve slip in to kneel between you and Robin. 

 “You guys good?” Steve asked once he settled in, a gentle hand placed on your back. You give him a small nod before pointing over towards the other building.

 “Are you guys sure Erica won’t get stuck?”

 “The kid said she could squeeze in. She has the other walkie ready to call us in if she needs help.” He shrugged, sounding a little hesitant. “Gonna have to give her all the damn ice cream at this point.” 

 “She’ll get through. She’s a Sinclair.” Dustin chimed in, adjusting his walkie. “They’re stubborn but they sure as hell come through in the end.” Once he was done with his inspections, he passed it over to Robin before moving in to look through with the binoculars. 

 “Erica, do you copy?” Robin asked. There’s a pop in the static before you hear a response.

 “Mm-hmm. I copy…You nerds in position or what?”

 Robin pursed her lips a bit before pressing the talk button again. “Yeah, we’re in position. It’s all quiet here, so you’ve got the green light.”

 “Green light, roger that. Commence Operation Child Endangerment.” 

 You can’t help but snort a bit, appreciating the humor from this child. Steve shook his head while Robin continued to grow more frustrated, pressing into the talk button again. “Can we maybe not call it that?”

“See you on the other side.”

 Robin glanced over between you and Steve. Looking suddenly a little bit nervous for the first time. You can’t help but do a quick math count. “Shit” you muttered after your short thought. “We’re screwed.” 

 Steve leaned over, curiosity on his face. “What’s wrong?”

 “Child endangerment.” you sighed. “Level six felony. It’d be six years.” He frowned at that, looking a little in pain before he shook his head. Pointing to Dustin beside you.

 “There’s two kids.”

 “..Twelve years.”

 Robin’s face paled a bit as she gripped onto the walkie tighter. “Shit.”

  It’s a long couple of minutes of waiting before you hear from Eric again.

 “All right, nerds. I’m there.” 

 “Do you– do you see anything?”

 “Yeah, I see those boring boxes you’re so excited about.” Her tone was tired and sarcastic, making you chuckle a bit to yourself. Where was Lucas hiding this girl? She’s hilarious. You thought before leaning closer to hear better.

 “Any guards?”

 “Negative.” 

 “Booby traps?”

 “If I could see them, they’d be pretty shit traps, wouldn’t they?”

 You bite down on your lip, reminding yourself that while Erica’s quips were amusing, she was also possibly in immediate danger at any point. 

 “Thank you for that.” Robin replied dryly. 

 The next couple of seconds go again with no response. Making you wonder if she was actually able to get through from the vent. Just when you were about to ask Robin to call out for a response, her voice picked up again.

 “I’m in.”

 Steve’s growing worry was finally given a small relief. “Oh, God.” he groaned, moving to cover up his face with his hands. He scratched away some tension from his head. Gently, you laid a hand on his back, rubbing it soothingly when the doors burst open from below.

 Erica slowly emerged out, sass in a bit of her step as she finally found her gaze upon you four on the roof.

 “Free ice cream. FOR. LIFE.”

  The rest of you don’t waste time in making your way down below. Having to move quickly before anyone left in the mall catches you guys still around. It’s a bit crowded in the small room, but at this point the curiosity for everyone is too high to be left outside waiting.

 Dustin passed Steve his Swiss army knife for the tape that covered the top of the box. With a quick cut, the inside of the cardboard box was finally revealed. Instead of packing styrofoam or anything else that a restaurant would have, you guys are presented with a metal box.

 Steve gripped onto the handle, giving it a hard turn to its side. Causing a hiss of air to come out from the box once Steve pulled away the lid. All of you leaned forward to peek inside, shocked to find what was inside.

 “That’s definitely not Chinese food.” Steve said, breaking the group’s silence. He dropped the lid on the side, making a reach for one of the canisters inside before he glanced at the four of you. “Uh, maybe you guys should, you know, stand back.”

 Immediately all the girls take a large step back. Just as hesitant as Steve was at what he might pull out. Dustin on the other hand stuck close to his side. 

 “No.” 

 “Just-..just step back, okay?”

 “No.” Dustin said again.

 “Step back. Seriously.”

 “No! No!” He cried out finally. “If you die, I die.”

 “Jesus Christ.” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. You couldn’t help but gape at the dramatics coming from your cousin of all people. But considering how close he had gotten to Steve over these past few months, it made a little sense. 

 Steve seemed to share the same sentiments as he looked over at Dustin. Only giving you a slight shrug before he continued on with it. “Okay..”

 The container made a clicking noise when he turned the handle on one of the canisters. The fog seeped out of the box a little more before revealing what Steve pulled out. “What the hell?” Steve muttered.

 “What is that?” Robin added.

 “It’s..goo?” you asked, taking a step closer to inspect the object better. If you didn’t know any better, you would have guessed that these evil Russians were hoarding up neon hair gel in their food deliveries. 

 Suddenly the room rumbled, shaking the entire space. The eerie familiar feeling you get when you’re in the elevator. But that couldn’t be, you guys were just in the loading docks..

 “Was that just me, or did the room move?” Dustin asked, unfortunately confirming your suspicion. Erica only added to the worry when she whispered about booby traps. 

 As if on cue, there began another rumble to the room and you suddenly felt every hair on your body stand up.

 “You know what? Let’s just grab that and go.” Robin said, grabbing the canister from Steve’s hands to put away in Erica’s backpack.

 “Agreed, let’s get the hell out of here.” Turning to the buttons by the doorway, you pushed on the blue ‘DOOR OPEN’ and glanced at the doors. Waiting for them to reveal the outside again. But nothing happened. Dustin, noticing right away, joined you at your side, doing the same thing.

 'Which one do we press, Erica?’

 “Just press the damn button, nerd.”

 “Which one? I’m pressing the button, okay?”

 “Press ‘open door’!”

 “We’re pressing ‘open door’!”

At this point you’re practically punching at the button with your finger when Steve appeared. Pushing your hand away gently as he urged for another method. But Dustin in his panic did stop, trying to press the door Erica had said. 

 “Press the other button!”

 “Guys get out of the way so she can push the button!” Robin said from the back. 

 The two continued to push against all the buttons and you panicked at the amount of things being hit without any change to the room. “Do you guys think pushing everything is really what we want to do?” you frowned, pushing at the open door again.

 “Are you serious right now? That’s not working.” Steve argued, pressing all the other buttons again. Dustin kept sneaking his hand in, causing the other boy to grow frustrated as he started slapping at the buttons.

 Everyone is too busy arguing with each other that you all miss the final hit against the lock box that finally set the room off. The metal gears turned and a large red door began to close down over the double doors you guys had originally entered in.

 There’s a second of silence before suddenly the room began to drop.

 Erica and Robin instantly burst out into screams and all of you struggled to balance yourselves. You reached out to hold onto Dustin, feeling your legs turn into jelly while the air quickly left your lungs.

 “Steve!” you gasped, pointing over to the windows of the room. He followed to where you were pointing, eyes wide at the sight. Just like in an elevator, the walls surrounding the room began to blur past as you guys descended down into the earth at a rapid speed.

 “Oh, shit.”

a/n: this is so messy!!! but i hope you guys enjoyed it

[thekingofwinterblog]

I think your point of Deku feeling like a lesser All Might is the result of the story not wanting to commit to any too radical change, only saying "people will try harder and do better" - hence Deku at best is an imitation of All Might, the symbol which for all the critisicm, basically got rehabiliitated.

Thats why, besides all the build up and weirdo fans that whiteknight the LOV too much, there was need for "redemption" - because this would make Deku look different, as someone who brought something truely new, something that could surpass even All Might - saving not only the civilians, the status qou - but also the villians, fixing society and not just letting it go on forever.

Back when the series was still running i was honestly thinking we were building towards the idea that the entire series was gonna be the origin story of the MHA universe's justice league.

That seemed the logical solution to a lot of the current system's flaws.

The pro hero system was an imperfect solution to a real, complicated problem(namely how to have a running society in a world where everyone has superpowers), and the series was ultimately about exploring those problems, and by extension the obvious flaw of having a superman figure to rely upon to effectively patch up it's shortcomings.

But the fact is, putting every, single problem upon the back of one man, no matter how strong and powerfull didnt work, and in large part was the reason why everyone was so complacant.

For all the infighting and competion for the rankings, the reality was that the entire system was built upon the expecation that all might would always be there, and when he wasnt, the much more flawed upper rankers failed to uphold the system, and in endeavor's case, did more to hurt the public's faith in the system than anyone else.

The obvious solution, and the one i expected the series to head towards, was to effectively do away with the competition element that the rankings represented, and solve the problem through how the Superheroes of the DCAU effectively solved superpowered crime once and for all.

centralize the entire japanese hero system into one, overarching organization that was for all intents and purposes a centralized superhero team with the entire group working together for the good of the nation, where people would be sent where they were needed, when they were needed, and because this would allow more control, heroes would both be more effective, but also have way more "time to kill" due to not constantly competing to stay relevant, and thus being able to devote more of their lives to do silly little things like take better care of their families.

That was where i thought the series was heading, and how izuku was going to surpass all might, by being the lynchpin for this new system.

obviously it wouldnt have solved all the problems, but i think few people would argue this kind of ending would have been a worse outcome than what we got.

Regarding the idea that the series would somehow "fix" society forever though, it's something i actually disagree with most of the others who hated the ending.

One of the things that made MHA special, is that unlike One Piece, that far too often had endings that were way too happy, MHA made no bones about the fact that there were no perfect fixes. the world was complicated, people were and would forever be flawed, and there was never going to be any one size fits all solution that would make everything better.

Im glad the ending did not backtrack on that point... But the problem is the fact that it offered NO solutions or improvements as a whole, with Uraraka and Shoji's work being the only real things that seems to have changed the system beyond everyone "Working harder".

also, there is one other point that the series screwed up on, which is how it handled the way it presented the virtues of what "The status quo" actually means.

MHA's entire first two thirds are about building up to a societal collapse, where law and order break down, where to hero system fails.

One of the reasons why the LOV are the villains of the piece, and what separates them from the heroes, is their ability to completely dissasociate the fact that they just set into motion events that killed hundreds of thousands of people, while discussing their hopes and dreams, as gigantomachia is killings thousands up people that they are literarily trampling underfoot.

One of the reasons Dabi is such an amazingly good villain is that he is the only leaguer who just throws any and all justifications for the greater good to the wind when Twice dies, and he commits himself fully to his actual goal, of hurting his dad, and ripping their society to pieces.

and he does just that in spectacular manner, as using his understanding of how society works, he shifts all blame unto him in the eyes of the public.

chapter 290 is probably MHA's best chapter, and definitly it's best villain chapter as Dabi in one move rips his dad's life and Japan's society to pieces.

But the manga does not in any way try to present him in a positive or even neutral light.

After all, his amazingly devastating revenge is juxtaposed with images of what ripping down the "Status Quo" actually looks like.

Shattered lives.

destroyed children.

lives on a grand scale snuffed out.

When Shigaraki gives his famous villain and heroes speech, what we are actually shown when he describes "Trash that needs to be coddled" we are shown what that actually means. Innocent children, who's lives have just been ruined, many of them who will now have to live with lifelong trauma.

and after all is said and done, what was the actual result of "Tearing down the status quo"?

Fear, hatred, mistrust, and murder. might makes right.

THIS is what always happens when law and order breaks down, and anarchy actually gets to reign.

it has happened countless times throughouth history, be it Japan's Sengoku Jidai, China's warring states periods, the french revolution, the russian revolution, the haiti revolution, the splitting of Alexander's empire, the norwegian civil war period, the era of the princes in ethiophia, the fall of the western roman empire, The Bronze age collapse, and so, so many others.

This is what ALWAYS happens when the "Status Quo" is violently torn down. And MHA for all it's faults does a pretty good job showcasing it.

No the problem is two fold, in how it actually showcases it in a grander context.

It lacks a figure that really calls the villains out on their hypocisy and the aftermath of what their actions have actually lead to.

2. We arent given a real estimate of just how BRUTAL their actions actually were.

In One piece chapter 543, the main protagonist of the series, Monkey D. Luffy is called out by Hannyabal that his actions in that arc, are, WRONG.

That the prison of Impel Down, that luffy and his gathered band are breaking out of exists to keep the people of the world safe, and to let innocent people live their lives in a "Status Quo" of peace and order, withouth having to fear for their lives from the "Golden age of piracy".

Now the One Piece universe has the caveat that the World Government is so objectively evil, that despite Hannyabal's good intentions here, you could make a solid case that every single one of the pirates in impel down is an objectively lesser evil than the WG.

However, that is not the argument luffy makes, because he is NOT a hero.

Luffy does not CARE about a debate in right and wrong. While he has his own morals, if the time comes that he has to choose between what he wants, or what others considers good, luffy does not care to debate such issues with them. because he is not a hero. he is a pirate, and he does as he will.

The reason why this scene works so well, is to illustrate the fact that luffy, despite doing a lot of good through the series, is NOT a Hero.

it's why at the end of this chapter, luffy is put face to face with his main rival, the likely final villain of the series blackbeard.

This is not the story about the rivalry between a good hero and an evil villain. It's the story about two men with the same goals and willingness to step over others that they dont like to reach that goal.

this entire scene and what it represents is all about laying this bare, and to prepare to lead into the fact that luffy's main motivation through most of one piece second half is to assassinate his political rivals.

While they might be objectively evil people, and luffy gets more, and better moral motivation to kill both of them, Luffy's actual motivation to kill kaido and big mom are built upon pure ambition and nothing more.

which is the point about the aforementioned scene in Impel down.

unlike MHA, One piece is NOT a story about good versus evil. it's main themes are freedom, for both good and ill.

MHA however, IS a story about good and evil, and as such is REALLY needed a figure like Hannyabal during the final arc, and objectively good person who called the league as a whole out on all their bullshit.

Because withouth it, it can, as proven by all the people who were confused about the league not getting any redemption, think that MHA is saying the league's actions can, in some way justify their actions, when the entire point of the latter half of the manga is to illustrate just how much it VERY MUCH CANNOT.

The destruction and death is there... but this was really a point where the story would have benefited from being blunt as a sledgehammer about just how evil the villains actually were.

which leads me to point two.

Hunter X Hunter has a villain group that also tries to rip down society and conquer the world in the form of a faction known as the chimera ants.

Their leader Meruem is frankly speaking one of the best shonen villains ever, and a REALLY well developed character, where over the course of one arc he becomes a far better and more nuanced person... though he never stops being an actual villain who's death was an objective good for the world.

He does HORRIFIC shit and is ultimately responsible for a lot of the horrible stuff his faction does... and yet his actual goals and death count is probably not THAT different than Shigaraki.

Both of them wanted to destroy the current world order, and both of them were stopped before their rampages could expand beyond one single country.

If this is the case, then why is Shigaraki fans far more upset that he was ultimately killed, than Meruem fans are that he was?

Well the fact shigaraki had a much more sympathetic backstory helps, i would argue there is a much, much bigger reason. Namely the fact that HXH focuses FAR more on the actual destruction and attrocities that Meruem's little takeover actual caused... but it also gave us clear, hard numbers, which makes it WAY clearer that despite everything, Meruem was a TRUE monster.

During the Ant's invasion they killed about half a million people, 478 594 of which were civilians, and 12 905 who were actual soldiers.

Those numbers are about comparible to what shigaraki probably killed, give or take. half of the heroes of a country with tens of thousands of them were killed, while law and order dissapeared, and gigantomachia smashed his way through a dozen cities in one of the most densly places on the earth.

I think MHA would probably have silenced a LOT of critisim for killing of Shigaraki and the League, if they had actually shown these numbers, and given us an exact number of just how many innocent people the league butchered or were responsible for dying in their war against Hero society.

[the-astrophel-system]

Why Our Alters Mask

tw // brief mentions of ramcoa (no details), using peoples triggers against them, ableism, family being uneducated, brief mentions of deadnaming and misgendering

so, we have a therapist who doesn't specialise in dissociative disorders. but for right now, shes kinda our only option (which is fine, we like her).

but we were talking in our session yesterday and she asked if our mum was aware of our alters and was accepting and stuff. its complicated, but the answer is yes. she's still a bit hesitant, but accepts the fact that we think we have this disorder.

anyway, we mentioned to our therapist that she has been introduced to a few different alters, but we mask almost constantly, so its not like she picks up on it herself.

and our therapist was confused.

again, this is someone who doesn't specialise in this sort of thing, so we do have to talk about our experience and those of people in the community (but y'know she also does have access to scientific and professional stuff, so its not like we're going "our system is the only way it can present").

but i was SO surprised that she was surprised that so many systems mask.

i explained that if you freely drop the mask, thats gonna inform your abusers that what they're doing is working in their favour. they'll learn triggers and use that to their advantage. now, im coming at this from a organic system's pov, we haven't been programmed, nor am i claiming that if systems unmask, they'll automatically be a victim of programming, or later-in-life abuse where the abuser is trying to manipulate the system.

i told our therapist that if you give out your triggers, or you start presenting these switches, people can pick up on those patterns and then use that to their advantage. i clarified and said that i dont think our mum or family would do this to us, its just very very vulnerable and can be dangerous if we unmask completely.

even comments like "you're acting grouchy today", "stop being so childish", and "you never act like this". can all hurt so much and make the system or that particular alter feel guilty for existing the way they do. it would be amazing to unmask around family, but when i have before, i get told im being rude or mean, when thats just how i interact with people. i tease, im a bit blunt, and i tend to swear a lot. im not trying to be rude or offensive, but i constantly feel like an asshole if i do unmask, just because this edgy exterior is who i am.

it can also sometimes be embarrassing for other alters when you do unmask. im sometimes embarrassed by other parts interests, clothes, attitudes, and more. its internalised shit and im working on it. but if we were to unmask, im so worried people wont take me seriously, just because they know of a part who acts differently. and that sucks so much.

another thing is getting told shit like "this is all so confusing", "you have too many alters, how am i supposed to keep track", "you're placing the blame elsewhere because you dont want to admit what you did wrong". comments like that suck so fucking much. i hate them, they hurt, and they're based in misunderstanding.

having many alters (even just any number over 10) can be extremely confusing to others. but i haven't met a single system who expects others to fully know of, remember, and relate to all their alters. all i ask is you accept each new part and if you do happen to remember some names, thats awesome.

it also connects to a lot of gender shit, which our family struggles with. we still cant get them to use our preferred name or pronouns, and we feel like we're too much if we share that we have multiple parts that use different or multiple pronouns. i get that it can be confusing, i understand, especially because my family doesn't see me all that often and if my name and pronouns change each time we see them, it will be a lot to remember. i get it. but my family fills me with so much fear because i feel like they wont try. they wont try to connect with, or understand me. its not fair and its incredibly isolating.

we've also been told that we're placing the blame of negative actions, onto other alters. which, we never do btw. the only time we "shift the blame" is if we try to explain that we don't fully remember what we said or did, because of amnesia. we always try to take responsibility, its just not seen as fair for people to say we're "shifting the blame" any time we try to explain what is going on for us internally. our did isn't an excuse, but its an explanation, yet no one lets us explain.

i explained most of this to my therapist and said that one day we can hopefully be able to unmask more around our family (or even just our mum and brother) so we're less drained all the time. we would get less comments like "why aren't you talking to me", "you're so grouchy", "why are you watching (x show) thats for kids". and more comments like "oh is it (x alter)? thats okay, i wont be mad if you need some time alone", "oh! watching (x show), is this a good episode?", "hey, it seems like (x alter) or (y alter) might be around. i know you're very blunt but just remember to be kind towards your brother", "im not sure if you remember yesterday, but (x alter) and i started this conversation, would you like to talk to me about this, or would you like to wait until (x alter) is back?". or whatever the comments are.

accepting that we are slightly different and not expecting consistency of behaviour, likes, or memories, is so important to us. who knows if this will ever happen for us, idk i guess we wait and see

- virgil (he/him)

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Ok I need to get this ramble out or its gonna kill me but like. Was listening to the opening track of the PPG movie's OST and there's a part around 23 seconds in where they use half the notes from Mojo's theme, and then use the FULL theme in the next measure and that stuff is SO COOL it makes me scream, but also like. Ok we're gonna ignore the fact that yes, irl its a terrible idea to have a chimpanzee as a "lab assistant", this is a cartoon and things can get sillay and that feels very Fictional Science of the show to do, and we're also gonna ignore the fact that pre-mutation Mojo was a wild animal outside his natural environment and shouldn't be held accountable for behaving like one. IGNORING ALL THAT.

I feel like one aspect of Mojo's character that they rly try to hammer home in that opening is the idea of Nature over Nurture, and the fact that from the very start, before the mutation and intelligence and evil plans, he was always a force of destruction and is always going to be as such. His only instinct as a normal chimp was to cause damage 24/7 and generally be a crazy little bastard, so going by that logic it makes total sense that even after gaining intelligence surpassing most humans, he's still following that instinct of destruction. I mean, why didn't he ACTUALLY use his heightened mind to help humanity like he said he was going to do when he was LYING? What better way to gain humanity's respect and admiration than inventing things that would benefit everyone?

Well obviously there's the resentment he feels now that he's intelligent and sees humanity as the oppressive species (resentment that Utonium is partially and indirectly responsible for but thats a discussion for another time), there's also the greed and arrogance he has of not wanting to work FOR or under anyone, seeing himself as more intelligent than any living creature on Earth. These things are not excuses by any means, but I do think that deep down, despite all of these reasons, it still boils down to him following that destructive instinct and just wanting to cause mayhem for his own enjoyment.

I feel like this is supported by a lot of his evil plans in the show, because as often as he's trying to "take over" Townsville, the other half of the time he's just out to destroy it altogether with no further end goal, once again just being a destructive force because it's what he likes and wants to do. But there's really nowhere where this is shown to be more obvious than the 10th anniversary special, The Powerpuff Girls Rule!!! In that special, after all, he actually SUCCEEDS in what he's been trying to do for so long, he wins in the end, Mojo Jojo rules the world! And at first he goes with what his intelligence tells him to do logically, succeeding in so many places where humanity has failed itself and basically netting eternal bragging rights for solving all problems with the world, and people love him for it!! But in the end, it's... peaceful. Quiet. Boring. And he comes to absolutely HATE it. The special ends with him giving all of that up, giving up RULING THE WORLD, because he cannot help but follow that destructive instinct and just starts blowing shit up for fun again, and even if he gets stopped by the Powerpuff Girls once again, he couldn't be happier to be back to doing what he does best!!

This was super rambly but TLDR No matter how intelligent Mojo is and how complicated his plans may get, at the very root of his character he will almost always just be following those destructive animal instincts that have been inside him since long before the effects of Chemical X affected him, thank you for coming to my TedTalk 🤓🤓🤓

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

see i take "doomed by the narrative" to mean a character who is doomed (either dead or stagnant with no hope of any trajectory) by the narrative (the nature of the work existing as a story puts unique pressure/limitations on the characters through the medium of choice, where the fact that its a story with a weaker fourth wall is a deliberate choice). Doomed by the narrative meaning the constraints of narrative/genre/medium actively prevent the character from getting out of a cul de sac, and the character pushing against this metatextual boundary is part of the conflict and futility of the exercize. but i see "doomed by the narrative" applied to characters who dont die, break free from their constraints, or go stagnant at all, let alone in metatextual fashions.

what i mean is like. truman and utena are doomed by the narrative in the sense that the narrative is an oppressive force that has put them in a lose-lose situation, no matter how much they object, and the only move left for them is to exit their respective stories. the only things left for them in the narrative are death, or playing by the rules and stagnating. so they bring the curtain down. this is also the intended functions of the truman show and of RGU, to deliberately invoke the fact that the world is a closed narrative and not let you-- the viewer-- forget it, in order to make a point, or a lot of points. The Truman Show and RGU categorically can't be interacted with an audience looking for an experience where they can be sufficiently immersed into a story that they don't need to think about it as something someone else made. (Tangentially, i feel like a lot of shallow criticisms of virtually anything could be remedied by reminding them that the works they complain about were created on purpose by real living people and did not spring fully flawed out of the void.) Thats not to say that kind of story or audience is wrong-- there are countless stories that work better without the looming reminder of fictionalization hanging over someone's head. But it's just-- ugh, you get me. onto another example.

Antigone is doomed by the narrative because the complicated poetry of her small world is of the understanding that this is a tragedy, and the hero of a tragedy must die, no matter how much they try to fight it. The laws of her world are defined entirely amd immutably by the genre it takes place in. The characters implicutly know this. The best thing she can do is die on her own terms. No matter how many times the play is put on, the end result is the same. The characters of the world of OFF are doomed by the narrative because OFF is painfully aware that it is a video game, and many of the characters know it, or at least they know there is a higher power watching it spool out. And if you are an adversary in an RPG standing between the protagonist and his progression, there is only one end for you, and its your HP reaching zero. Finishing OFF means finishing them off. The game has multiple endings but to even get to the end you gotta kill basically everyone. By then its too late. There is not a circumstance where these characters survive bc the rule of the medium does not permit it. This is the category of fridged women.

As for stagnation this is for characters that are by edict of the limits of the narrative are neither permitted to die nor improve their situation nor even leave. They have reached a point of no return. This may or may not be their fault. I think this is a pretty rare character type. Creon also from antigone goes here. Zacharie, also from OFF. Any protagonist of an abandoned webcomic lol. WD Gaster.

i just feel like if ur gonna talk abt a character who is doomed u better actually mean a character who, no matter how many times you reroll the dice, is going to be irreparably fucked. And if its at the hands of a narrative you better mean its at the hands of the narrative, and that its part of the point, an active pressure and limiter.

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

Hi!!! Sorry I know you reblogged that DVD fic commentary post like literally last year HOWEVER I have been going insane over your Cinderella!pete fic and (not)imaginary friend tinkly and was hoping you would like to share your thoughts? It’s fine if you don’t I just really love all of your npmd fics!

Hi Hi Hi @sanguineed!!! Sorry this took so long I have SO many thoughts and honestly i apologize if this is NOTHING i truly just infodumped about thought process for like a million words and have no clue if it's anything or even coherent hgkjdflkll

(Cinderella Pete fic link)

(Imaginary Friend fic link)

OKAY SO starting with Cinderella pete:

I’m honestly obsessed with Cinderella aus they’re my one weakness because I’m a big hurt/comfort and fairy tale loser and they are DEEP in that hurt-comfort-fairy-tale sauce, but they’re also a very fun blank slate that you can do SO MUCH WITH

So, honestly, from the second I watched NPMD and the characters burrowed their way deeply into my beautiful mind I had a really bare bones ‘day-dream-a-fic-in-my-brain’ lautski cinderella au that was nothing and I never planned on writing it and then one of the Lautski Week prompts was fairy tale and I rewatched season one of once upon a time (unrelated to the prompt list, i do that like once a year) it very rapidly because A Much More Detailed thing

I didn’t want to just do a normal step-family plot line because then that gets very weird and complicated having to really hone in on the non-existent spankoffski parents and I wanted Ted to be involved, so i just, honestly, fully yoinked Erica from princess and the pauper’s backstory and went ‘okay that works’

AND THEN back to once upon a time (in case y’all aren’t fellow ouat-heads): so in that show rumplestiltskin canonically murders cinderella’s fairy godmother and becomes her new fairy godmother (just, like, much more sinisterly) and that concept is so horrific and fascinating that it has been rotating in my brain since I was nine years old and resurfaced just in time as I was starting this fic

Because I honestly wasn’t sure if I was going to have a traditional fairy godmother at first? I was just going to have his friends help him, and then I was like OH! Miss Holloway! Of course! And then tinky slowly rose into view in the middle distance and unfortunately there was NOTHING i could do but make him the fairy godmother stand in (which, thank god, tbh idk if I would have been able to write a substantial enough plot without him there to make things Bad)

It just all worked out SO well in a way I really wasn’t expecting because Steph is a REALLY fun prince(ss) charming! Because she’s Not! Good! At! It! But thats almost entirely because she’s Not! Trying! To! Be!

It’s just very fun to show the contrast between both steph and pete having been born into their roles/titles, and how it affects them/they react to it. Steph’s got way more expectations, and her role is technically more ‘important’ but she resents a lot of the really awful parts and isn’t being supported in the way she should be so of course she’s not the best at it! And on the flip side pete is WAY overqualified for what he has to do and he KNOWS that but there's literally nothing he can do to fix it,,,,, and,,,, they’re gonna kiss,..,.,..

Ughghghh theres so much more about this fic id love to talk about but honestly all the really fun stuff is still coming so I may have to come back to this post so i dont spoil! I do have to say: pete’s about to have such a bad time and then eventually SUCH a good time!

AND THEN YES NON-IMAGINARY FRIEND TINKY!!!! MY BELOVED!!!

I’m honestly so thrilled I was actually able to pull that one into a real fic, because it was just such a fun concept that bonked around in my head for like a week and I was convinced it was gonna stay there. But it didn’t! And you all seem to enjoy it so im very glad!!

Honestly that one stems ENTIRELY from the line in the nmt Yellow Jacket where Lex says she used to be able to see Webby (i thinkkkkkk someone also made a tumblr post about the same thing that wormed it’s way into my brain but i have NOT been able to find it so if someone knows the one Im talking about plssss let me know) and i started to think about the lords in black potentially pulling a webby on their own chosen?

Because Tinky is obsessed with ted, we know this, but theres a HUGE age gap between pete and ted and i think it would be very fun for a tinky to look down at one time line’s ted, whose already eighteen-ish and at best would think he was losing his mind, and try to get to him through his not-yet-born brother,,,,, like it’s so upsetting,,,,, very fun though

I also just REALLY love writing the spankoffski brothers (i’ve got two older siblings, one of whom is significantly older than me, and sibling dynamics are some of my favorites to write) and it was really fun to explore them at the Peak of their age gap. Ted is such an interesting character; he loves his little brother but he’s also an asshole and pretty self-centered so he’s doing a lot right (answering pete’s questions, not caring what Pete wears, trying his best not to swear or upset him) but he isn’t Built for child care so he’s also ignoring pete for his tv show and prone to snap when something that (admittedly is so incredibly fucked up) upsets him gets brought up. 

He’s a guy who works best in extreme situations; he’s the best at being a brother when he’s thrown into action (getting pete out of the road/forcing his parents to get pete help), but he’s not exactly a Bad brother other times,,,, he’s just a dude,,,, just a guy,,,, 

I also kind of wanted to make it unclear if pete Does have low blood sugar episodes or if thats tinky all on his own, because i think playing with the Power Of Belief is a really fun thing in stories like this (can you…. tell i ran essentially an It fandom blog for like three years ghfksl)

So, to break the Pete-tinky belief timeline down (prob unnecessarily but i think it’s fun):

Pete was born and tinky has ALWAYS been there, Pete does not think this is at all weird and also has always known tinky so it would be like suddenly deciding your mom isn’t real– you wouldn’t do it, it wouldn’t even cross your mind

He’s a kid, so everyone humors him and assumes it’s an imaginary friend thing (and his parents are older and old fashioned so even if it sometimes tilted a little farther from conceivable little kid with an imaginary friend territory they’d never EVER assume or mention that it could be something a little more serious/an actual problem)

Any time his voices doubts about people thinking tinky was imaginary tinky 'very logically' explains it as pete just being special, so the only one who can see him, and, once again, he’s always seen and known tinky was there so this makes way more sense then him just NOT BEING REAL

He does something really dangerous, TED specifically forces everyone to actually figure it out, and the only conceivable thing a doctor can find is pete is diabetic, specifically prone to low blood sugar episodes, which can cause hallucinations

Pete is a Very Logical kid, and suddenly a seed of doubt has actually been planted with reasoning

Tinky knows this and Does Not Like it but as it keeps going and he keeps getting more upset and everyone keeps making a plan to deal with pete’s diabetes he’s started to get more and more convinced that tinky might not actually be real

Once he’s more convinced than he isn’t that tinky is a hallucination tinky starts to lose his hold, and once pete starts taking low blood sugar precautions he either creates a block so tinky can ONLY show up to him when his blood sugar is low OR tinky personally fucks with his blood sugar so he can be seen (like a fucked up version of lex with webby- it’s just a far more logic and fact based way of growing out of it/not being allowed to fully see him)

As he grows up he forgets just how convinced he had been that tinky was real and just generally gets used to this weird little quirk of his low blood sugar/fully dreads it

THEN pete goes into the old waylon place and because it’s the main alter for the LIB tinky regains ALL his power and then some over pete/the physical world of the house while inside

That’s where the fic gets to, and honestly probably where it’ll stay, but if i was to write more i think it would sort of waver in the opposite direction time line wise, where pete holds onto the belief that tinky isn’t real for a littttle longer than he probably should, even after he kills max and eventually as doubt really creeps in tinky starts showing up more

THEN OKAY SO the one scene I really wanted to write but couldn’t fit it in so I blended parts of it up into the end of the current fic was a little precursor summoning?

So, obviously theres the real summoning, which is SO fun in this au and I’m still praying one day I’ll get enough ideas/spoons to write it, and idk where this would fit in the show timeline, maybe where if I loved you kind of fits or right before it, but essentially:

Pete comes clean to steph, in a way that fits with all the weird supernatural fuckery going on but not fully, honestly (so she doesn’t know the full extent until post-summoning), and the two of them make a plan (that steph DOES NOT LIKE) where he’ll, like, chug some coffee and purposefully trigger a low blood sugar episode so he can see tinky and ask him questions

If i had ended up writing it that would have been when he really realizes that tinky is a real thing; he probably would have pushed it a little too hard until steph gets nervous and kind of forces him swallow a glucose tablet and he snaps out of it (and tinky goes away, but just to fuck with pete and build the tension, not because he has to now)

I hadn’t been totally able to figure out how it would work out in a timeline (Which is why it never got written) but my plan was potentially to have solomon not be the one to show them the book, but instead tinky gives pete the directions, OR, if Solomon does show it to them, pete knows uncomfortably intrinsically how to do the ritual and is almost falling exactly in step with steph’s dad to find the book and on what to do

BUT YES!! Them!!! I know this was a way more general summary kind of overview, so if there were any specific scenes or characters or anything you were interested in lmk! I would love to get into it! Thank you so so much!! There's literally NEVER a time limit on any ask prompt things i reblog im always thrilled to answer! <3<3<3

[roseworth]

As one of the most Rose Wilson blogs (excellent taste) what r ur thoughts on the first issue of her Knight Terrors ?

my biggest thoughts on it are just that its not very interesting </3 there are a few things i dont like about it (the lack of lili 😔 but ill circle back to that in a sec) but overall ?? it just didnt really do a lot. theres not a lot to dislike but theres also not a lot to like

but i can excuse the fact that theres not a lot in it given that this is the first time rose is getting the spotlight in like 15 years so not a lot of people are gonna know anything about her backstory so they had to make it accessible to people that dont know her. and i get that

like batman's knight terrors tie-in could delve a lot deeper into his backstory and feelings bc. its batman. everyone knows batman. he has arguably the most famous backstory in western media. but not everyone knows ravager so they had to make it very new reader friendly and i understand that, especially since her biggest trauma (getting drugged by slade) isnt even canon right now (😔) and her other big trauma (her mom dying) is a little more complicated than the story they wanted to tell (mostly because. wade.)

but i wish they had gone a little deeper into like. her feelings. being trapped in a nightmare that you have to escape from is one of my favorite tropes ever so i was soooooooo excited when this book was announced, but it just,, didnt really do anything. there was so much that could've been done with rose protecting and subsequently being betrayed by her younger self, not to mention the whole idea of slade hunting her down. but they didnt really use it? i was hoping for more like,,,, character exploration. but it didnt really deliver

on the other hand though. this one was def trying to do more of a plot than some of the others. like for example the jason & tim one has the basic plot of "theyre in a nightmare" but other than that its really just being used as a way to make them go through their fears n give them some character exploration (side note i wish they had been given two separate ones but thats a whole other post) whereas the ravager one is talking about murder man using rose as a conduit and trying to get into the waking world and making it like. a story instead of just introspection. so it definitely felt like the first issue was setting a lot up for more that will (hopefully) happen in issue two.

anyways back to her mom. again part of the reason that it would be so hard to incorporate lili into the story is that the circumstances surrounding her death would mean reintroducing the story from 30 years ago where she died, which slade wasnt there for so they couldnt wring out her daddy issues, and the fact that its only brought up like. 3 times ever again after that make it hard to reference her. not to mention deathstroke 2016 sort of retconned it that slade murdered her ????? then that was also never brought up again. so once again i understand that it would be very complicated to bring her into the story, not to mention if she showed up she would show up just to die 3 seconds later so i cant be.. too mad.

HOWEVER. they taunted me by mentioning her one (1) time then bringing up the foster parents instead. it seems like it's sort of working toward bringing her pre-52 origin back. but the foster parents were the worst part of her pre 52 origin. and also as my roommate (who hasnt read a lot of rose) pointed out, the foster parents are a deep cut. they showed up for like 3 pages 20 years ago then died and were literally never brought up again (not even a passing mention) until now. and while the story doesnt hinge on knowing who they are, i feel like theres definitely a feeling that youre missing something when you dont know the parents. so the fact that they were there at all seems really weird to me given the fact that im trying to excuse the fact that lili wasnt there. idk. its just hard to understand why brisson chose to put them there instead of lili, who had a major impact on rose's life and her death is the whole reason rose even joined slade at all. at least to me, the fact that lili wasnt there was extremely noticeable and felt wrong (not to mention the "i grew up in a brothel not a foster home" line is kinda iffy to me but maybe im reading too much into it). im still hoping she'll show up in the second issue, especially since they did specifically mention her in the first issue so maybe thats setting her up to show up in nightmare form later (<-delusional)

ok i think thats all my thoughts for now. tldr: its fine, it doesnt have a lot necessarily with it given the fact that rose isnt a well known character so they couldnt dive too deep into her character, but i felt like it wasnt really trying to do anything and it wasnt interesting. the only real problem was the fact that her mom wasnt there. but mostly im willing to wait until the second half before im too harsh on the book

[syrupspinner]

nextfest part 2!

i said out loud "oh thats adorable" when i saw that you get circles from an apple and triangles from a teapot. so, the first thing i wanna compare this to is Mindustry, since its a resource miner and tower defence game. notably, it's a radial defence. yknow how sometimes rhythm games, instead of having a straight note highway, have the notes approach the centre from all sides of the screen (look up the persona dancing games if you dont know what i mean). well this is like that! you send units to a book, and they travel out from the centre to defend it from the monsters approaching from the edge of the screen. this is already so fun! i can already appreciate that this emphasizes a really unique and interesting approach compared to other defence games ive played. wishlisted before i finished the first tutorial

this is a game i found on twitter at first, so im excited to give it a real go! im in that weird level where, as a peripheral nintendo fan, im aware of the reverence for f-zero, but ive never actually played any of the games, so i had no idea what i was getting into. after playing it, gotta say, hell yeah this feels awesome. i dig the visuals, the music's pretty fitting for the action, and the controls are SO slippery in a good way. its so ridiculously responsive, at first i felt the need to reach for the drift button on sharp turns but that instinct melted when i got acclimated by like, map 2. pumped for the full game

woof, 13gb for a demo? thats a lot around these parts. but hey, the game itself is pretty alright! the controls feel awesome, especially the dash. the high-jump is a little counterintuitive at first, but its east to get the feel for through the tutorial. speaking of, it is so long... i get that this is a complicated game, but its hard for me to internalize so much all at once. i hope that it was just for the sake of the demo, and the full game has more of an integrated way of teaching the player. i really like how if you miss an item, youre given the option of paying for it, or summoning the monster it spawns from for free, fun little player choice. also, minor nitpick, but the hitbox for the coins feel a bit small, i had do do a lot of what i call the "oops loop" when i missed one. i dont wanna hold this against the game, because this might be on me, but i had no idea what to do in the cactus level. i got the frisbee thing, but there wasnt anything for me to climb to with it, because i dont think there was anything above the door, and it wouldnt stick to the cactus wall. im not really feeling this one, but ill keep my eye out when it releases just in case it turns out better than i expect

this one caught my eye in the store for the aesthetic alone, and anyone who knows be gets why. i always dig this y2k-futuristic colourful vector stuff. in the game itself, yeah, i really dig this art direction. im a little dissapointed the evil-looking edera is such a pushover to the boss, i presume all the models have the same personality? anyway, gameplay: imagine bomberman 64 meets hyper light drifter. the only thing is, your character feels weirdly heavy. dashing somehow feels too slow and too fast at the same time, and it feels like youre trying to throw a couch full of helium every time you jump. the bomb mechanic itself is fine though! this seems like a solid but flawed game. ill give the full release an honest try if it releases for cheap, but i dont blame you if youre not feeling as generous

oh this is gonna be WEIRD weird, thank god

right away, i had to do controller calibration with my keyboard before it let me calibrate my controller. okay? anyway, the game kicks ass. i love how the drift feels, i can tell it took a lot of work to get it to feel like it does. its hard to explain, but it feels like it has ending lag? like, it takes you a while to STOP drifting, so you cant just do it for ever turn, youve gotta commit to it. the action is super tense to! the game expects you to play well or else you dont win, and i appreciate a game that knows its difficulty. if you die, you respawn almost immediately, and the almost is all you need. the art style is cute too, everything looks toyish, and it helps the game feel less serious in a "lets all have fun" kinda way without detracting from the action. wishlisted!

yeah i played more demonschool, i know nextfest isnt a competition but demonschool would win. its criminal that when you dont sort by "most wishlisted" that the first few pages arent exclusively demonschool

woah, achievements? i saw someone on twitter (@casitamono hes also a dev so you should check out Street Shuffle and Project B-fer) literally comand me to play this and im nothing if not compliant. and yeah, right away, THIS is how you have a style that is also substance. NBB was carried by its style, of the devil is carrying its style. the writing is fantastic, the characters are the perfect blend of unique and realistic, and the worldbuilding is cyberpunk that is poiniant and directed without going off the deep end. the gameplay is such a fun approach to detective work, i have no idea how they made gambling work without feeling luck-based. i am SO ready for more of this! definitely the best demo i played tonight (new games, i mean, i dont know who would win in a fight between this and demonschool but i think im leaning in morgans favour). its so long too?? i was not expecting this to be two and a half hours of quality substance. PLEASE play this game

join me next time when i finish my queue of demos! for real this time!

[lemon-wedges]

Heey just wanted to tell you that I adore your art, especially the way you draw Barok. You humanised him in a way I've never seen an artist do. All your characters, but especially him, look like real, soft, approachable people. I can almost see their chests expanding, I can imagine them laughing and breathing, I can tell how in love your ships are, which is very special and very rare

Your art makes me extremely emotional

(also where did you study, what books did u read, how long did it take you to learn to draw like that??)

AH thank you for the sweet ask! it really made my day to hear this TTuTT

As for your other asks, ill put them undercut with some photos and links to stuff!!

I've been drawing for about ahhhh 16 years( 8 of which are actually like serious school stuff than just a hobby) but tbh its only really been in the last 3 where i feel like ive been making actual progress in improving my stuff. but thats my personal path in art and its always gonna be different for you or anyone else.

anyways 3 years ago i made some changes to my drawing habits and study methods that were like. real specific to where i wanted my art to go (cleaner lines, better foundations, gesture, etc etc). I worked on thing one at a time tho!! it can get overwhelming real quick if youre not careful. So the stuff im gonna give you is geared towards....well, me? both in content im searching for and just the classes that resonate how i like learning

OK BOOKS:

CLEANER LINES. I use to have a habit of making like EXTREMELY sketchy and unconfident lines. This is a landscape book that i literally just copied every single thumbnail. Helped me get into the habit of both using only a few strokes to get an idea across and breaking down complicated subjects into shapes

ANATOMY. Morpho series. Its not a how-to-book tho its just a compilation of an artists break downs. This one is my fav tho. And helped a lot when i was struggling to understand like ALL BODY PARTS

CLOTHING. This is probably my fav clothing book. Very short and published in the 1940s. Its helpful specifically to ME cause its clothing is closer to TGAA outfits(mens) than more modern books LOL

And now CLASSES. I do actually have an art degree from a university and let me tell you. I was left SEVERELY lacking any skills i needed to go into the industry I was interested in 👍 (not cause of the professors but cause the school itself was actively killing its art department :p) So i was kinda just left looking into online stuff on my own (AND COMMUNITY COLLEGE!!!! MY BELOVED AFFORABLE CLASSES )

NEW MASTERS ACADEMY. Its a subscription-have access to all the videos for a month to a year- kind of thing. cheapest is about $40 a month. REALLY REALLY helped my anatomy and foundations. Steve Huston: Good for entire step by step anatomy break downs. Micheal Mattesi & Karl Gnass: Gesture. I've watched a handful of other videos but these instructors were the most helpful to me

DRAWING AMERICA. A lot more pricey. Around $100-$300. but youre basically paying to own the recorded classes and keep them forever. I've only really taken Will Westons classes cause he focuses on BGS and props. But he also has some nice composition stuff thrown in there too.

(I've taken a LOT of online courses and the thing about a majority of them is that they arent really taught by professors or teachers so they tend to be more like a giant Tip video than an actual lesson plan. And if u haven't taken an art class before the difference is HUGE)

and i think thats it? i guess if theres anything else i can give u its this tip:

you mentioned my art is humanizing. Thats a comment ive heard a few times and i guess its odd to say but i dont really know what youre seeing? Like i understand the "ships in love" but cause i did go out of my way to draw sappy love faces 10 bajillion times until i was satisfied. But alive? hmmmmmm like THINK i might know what you may be responding to. Its a combo of the gesture and my effort in trying not to loose the energy of the original sketch when i go to clean it up. And what ive figured out is this. Youre not outlining or tracing your under sketch youre REDRAWING it .

i put the under sketch and clean up next to each other so hopefully this makes sense but like. when i do an under sketch im only really focused on building the figure. When u build a figure youre drawing out bigger shapes and breaking them down into smaller and smaller ones. Lines feel like they have more energy at this stage because the circles and cylinders are fully drawn out, making them have a continuous momentum. So then when it comes to the clean up stage. im not looking to trace the exact lines i drew out (if u notice my final isnt a 1 to 1 copy of the og) im trying to follow the flow of the original lines. thats why youll see lines go thru the figure sometimes, its me trying to keep the energy in that line even if its not suppose to be very long.

idk if this makes any sense at all.....and maybe i should have recorded me actually drawing this out but [shrug emoji] i could do it later if anyone is interesting in wtf is happening here. CAUSE I SWEAR ever since i started cleaning my sketches like this i started to get those comments. but also i could be wrong too.....then i REALLY dont know what im doing ahahahah

Anyways, i hope something in here ends up helping you anon!!! GOOD LUCK ARTING I BELIEVE IN YOU :O

[temporarymoods]

mwah

scatch what i said on that last post. idk her. im CHILLINGGGGG!!!

MarMon today: yes I celebrated. you gotta. duh. Patriot's Day-- a Mass thing!? Hilarious.

We went to the race and yelled and screamed and cheered on at various points. Walked a bunch. Got sunburnt in that shallow way, but my nose is pink. It was pretty emotional! So proud of everyone. Kept thinking that this is kind of one of the best things humanity can do. Anyway-- B)

Got sambas, lmfao?! Trying to look like a boy. Followed by some really good pasta. and then trying to look like a girl. i went to a frat! for the first time! i got champagne on my sambas. christened. the person who clocked me as queer at the party said "christened" after i had minutes prior. yeah. a good thing

- - i know the gender thing of it is ridiculous but for some reason my soft complicated body craves that sexual weirdness between men and women and particularly these young men and women in that..disgusting atmosphere. a disgusting atmosphere. really hungry for that generalization.. it's true. im really attracted to men

other than that^ being tough,

i went DANCINGGG!!!!!1!1!11!!11!!

and I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!!111!1

What a GREAT night!!! i can't put into words how amazing i feel even though that is why i came here...shucks. has the moment past? did i spend too much time on the queue?

My foot is sore as I type this. I came home so inspired and read up on country swing vs other kinds (I knew jazz swing was the thing, and swing dancin aint line dancin !) then i listened to a lot of good music:

Slow Dancing - Aly & AJ * total classic for me lmao. damn they have the best spotify top 5

Let's Get Married - Bill Elliot Swing Orchestra * when i didn't yet understand that i had to look up **country** swing music. now i know ;) god i cant wait to go again

-- what is it?! i think its that i really love to dance, to move my body, to try and get it right, to improve? to be good? to have fun in a choreographed way. to conform. the do the correct thing. idk

here's what i think its really about: i think i like smootheness. and i like the click of a phenomenon you can't pull a word for. and short counts. and intention. and shape. mostly shape. beat, sure, too. i like beat. i like rising to it, and not tiring. i dont know how i get so obsessed. i need to go back. that was exactly what ive been looking for for months, and what i thought i found but only got in part in the club, which i go to for the dancing, the loud music, the blindingness. but i dont contribute there. my ears are filled but the sound can only vibrate me a little. im not, swung, literally. and i cant provide energy to the space like you can witcha boots awn. so yeah, i think thats really it. dancing. i fucking love dancing. ive always fucking loved dancing. for real! really! i never got that good, yeah. but i fucking loved it thats for sure. i always wanted someone to actually teach me shit. they didnt do that enough in theatre. maybe they did. maybe i just wasnt that talented. not now though. dead. fucking. ass. just input my entire work calendar that i have access to because this shits getting real my life is mine and theres fan fucking tastic things to be doing with it.

alright...i could continue...i'll pick up the rest in my dairy ;* not gonna get too personal, phew. uhm. eh hem.

That Don't Impress Me Much - Shania Twain

Tequila - Dan + Shay

End of Beginning - Djo * lmao i got on this because i saw some interview w him online as im jamminggugghh i got sucked in. then all this happened:

Change - Djo * so much better than the one blowin up btw

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - Eurythmics, etc * i looked up more songs like Change :| hahaha. then all this happened:

Lifetime - Yves Tumor

Pop Song - Perfume Genius

Here Comes the Rain Again - Eurythmics, etc

Here Comes Your Man - Pixies

Eye in the Wall - Perfume Genius

Boys - Amen Dunes * at this point my original mission is fucked. the intention's gone. i'm so far from where i started: country lovin

at the same time the joint i rolled before we went out and shared on the way home is getting its way through my system for sure. its approaching 2am, woah! full day tomorrow but not nearly as inspired at this one. this one's literally how you're supposed to live . well maybe beer not getting stolen at the bar mmmm. mhm. yeah i'll tack that on as well.

i didnt, dont, want to let go of tonight skrrreorgihveouhv!!!! uuuummm! yeah i should keep thinking about it. : ) : ) hehehehehe

Man! I Feel Like a Woman! - Shania Twain

<3 , so much ;)

Kate

[rose-blooms-red]

So like. Ive been trying to work myself up to writing again seeing as i havent had any fucking energy or words or brain (energy/creativity) or like, literally fucking anything for months now. (The reasons for which are Many and Exhausting and I am So Ready for this year to be over lmao. And also bodies are fucking awful and so are brains (mental health plus the previously mentioned) and also just some personal stuff.) And part of that is reading fic.

The downsides to reading fics is that I sometimes see the most godawful fucking takes about Kori and Dick/Kori while trying to find/read fics, both just trying to read regular fic and fics specifically focused on trauma like I tend to seek out. Like. She in particular isn't a character I seek out to read about and, though I do love when she shows up, I don't really read much with her as a focus. She just doesn't grab the parts of my brain that would lead to that (tho tbf, only Dick and Wally really do that in DC, though there are a few others that are close) and as much as I can love dick/kori and fics with them they aren't really the ship I go for. It can be a nice read, but it's never really been my thing (i have similar feelings on babs/dick, tho to be completely honest I also like dick/babs less than dick/kori. I rarely if ever read romantic dick/babs, and basically never where the relationship is current lol. And surprisingly, given the givens, not completely because of the Tarantula situation) Tho tbf, romance in general can be tricky with me. (Listen. Ik I write a lot of shipfics but that doesn't mean I'm always comfy with it, or ig more accurately how it's portrayed a lot of the time. Especially if I feel like it's taking away from platonic relationships.) But like. The amount of times I run into complete like, idk demonization?? Of her is kinda fucking infuriating. For numerous reasons. And I'm saying this as a Dick Grayson fan.

Like, I haven't really covered.... any of the whole thing in fault lines yet (listen.... LISTEN I am Tired and busy and have health issues and fault lines is a fucking monster of a fic, I'm doing my best. There's kind of a fucking lot of shit to cover tho, even with the things I don't include from Canon that I either don't know or don't really want to add because of various reasons, and I am one person. One very exhausted person. And it's a really fucking hard fic to write sometimes okay,) not to mention the fact that it's narrated by an unreliable narrator which means the little bits that have come up are SKEWED they are SKEWED, Dick is not always right in his p.o.v of things!! But anyways, back to the point, even though it hasn't really come up yet Kori is never gonna be introduced as the villain of that relationship. Relationships and why they work or fall apart are fucking complicated!!!!! ESPECIALLY when trauma is involved. Like, I'm not gonna begrudge you if you don't like her because I'm not a fucking asshole. And I'm not gonna really try and force someone who doesn't like her for the reasons I've seen in fics surrounding Mirage and/or dick/kori's relationship. The former because I do understand why, even knowing her side of it all, it might not endear her to you, and the latter because I honestly do not have enough energy (emotional or in general) nor desire to get involved in anyway over internet fucking discourse for fictional fucking characters. I'm here to enjoy myself and relax/vent some of my shit through characters I love and world's I love, not to make myself upset because I get emotional easily when misunderstandings and characters being treated unfairly happen.

Which might seem at odds to what I said earlier about godawful takes. But part of my problem is that it's never really Kori in the fics. It's always just this one dimensional fanon version of her thats only there to be the villain. There are fics I read with her in what might count as an antagonist role, if you really feel like labeling it that, that deal with everything that dont do that and still manage to get all their points across or succeed in their writing. Usually just leaning into her not quite understanding that what Mirage did to him is rape because her experiences with rape was so different to his. Or even just the fact that she was so wrapped up in her trauma responses and her hurt and anger she didn't see it from his point of view. Or hell!!! Even just being herself, but not seeing past her own feelings of betrayal. And also just that. Relationships are Complicated!!!!!!

There's no fucking need to turn her into a hateful bitch with no actual purpose or character outside of being a prop to turn dick into an incapable, honestly kinda infantilized, hurt little 'owo' child.

Especially not when she is literally also a fucking rape victim.

And once again, I'm saying this as a Dick Grayson fan who honestly doesn't quite enjoy Kori-centric things.

There is just!!! No need!!!! Please there are complexities. There is a character there!!! And it is, honestly, so fucking boring when having her as an actual complex character offers so much more for one to explore in a story.

It is always more interesting and captivating when your characters are people not caricatures.