#if i stare at it too long i get lost
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"If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever." - Alfred Lord Tennyson
Thank you kendy and mimi for getting this comm for me, I love you both to oblivion and back!!! Art by @/miggytheo!!!
#🌸.ruepold#i love it so much#like so so so so so so much#if i stare at it too long i get lost#😭😭😭#oh leopold
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Remember in the first book, after mid-terms Keefe gives Fitz a tunic that says "I know what you're thinking... And you should be ashamed of yourself" or something like that
Yeah, this is it.
#kotlc fitz#kotlc art#fitz vacker#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#digital art#why is he drilling into my soul and judging my deepest darkest secrets i'm scared#ok i can get why sophie's always talking about his eyes i would too if my crush/bf looked like that#i would not have survived those trust exercices#chances are i would have started crying#his eyes look like he could make someone cry if he stared at them long enough
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Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso Season 3 » Casual Sweaters/Jumpers
#Ted Lasso#Jason Sudeikis#Theodore Lasso#*mine: gif#tedlassoedit#sweater/jumper game#ugh you idiot with that face#stop staring at me swan#here's a gifset for the sweater/jumper lovers out there and sorry this is a long post. I just couldn't make up my mind on some of these#I spent way too much time overanalyzing the casual sweaters/jumpers. I was trying to only show each one once but then just gave up#deep dived research on the Todd Snyder site that's the kind of overanalyzing that happened#there is a lot of lighting messing with colors and for sure there are some repeats in this but whatever#I had this idea way back when we saw the variety of color sweaters/jumpers for S3#but after the end of S3 I lost a lot of feelings for this show#my motivation for giffing this show is not so strong anymore but there is a part of me that still wants to maybe try a layout set#I'm thinking of doing all 3 seasons and just an overall sweater/jumper encompassing gifset. both the work and casual together#kind of meh on how some of these turned out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#it might be the added switch to the new editor and that all of these have been turned into gifv nonsense#also couldn't get the caption font to do what I wanted in html or at least it looked alright in drafts but not in preview#PS: thank you talldecafcappuccino for reading/helping with my color debate/same vs not same sweater/jumper nonsense
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If forever gets lonely, take my hand . . .
#the heron giveth#wrow two pieces from me within two weeks??? its almost as if i enjoy drawing#anyways HAPPY TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF LONG LOST#i had this piece sitting in my wips for a while and i thot id finish it up for the occasion i think it came out pretty good#if i stare at it too hard ill get nitpicky but in all honesty im trying very hard to stop being such a perfectionist#just draw post and go. ill improve exponentially after that i think#anyways. happy lonlostiversary#long lost#lord huron#mine forever
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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
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thingking abt Vinny's first time at the skatepark bc his mom made him go and just being the Angriest lil terrified furball in the corner of the fence like
#vinny#probably got scared into a corner for the first 3 times he went#bc everyones so Large and going Really Fast and some kid stopped to stare at him too long#until Ollie had to kinda gradually loom his way over to him like a shadow and crumble up his big ass body to get down to vins level sksksk#tried to coax him out of the corner to roll around with him#plus w this being probably only a few months after his dad died so he felt super exposed and as if he lost a massive support pillar#but ollie coming in and unintentionally being a big ol gentle leg to lean on for vinny im UGHHHH :''''''((((#vinnys intro was originally gunna be lighthearted and funny but Brother ive been thinknig#i Cannot wait to get to vinnys intro ooguhhhh y does everything take so long to drawwawaww
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ARURGRGRHHHHH
#CLAWING AT THE WALLSSSS i havent been this invested in a pairing in so long but this time its PERSONAL.#they make me insane ur honour#im both breq (autism coded + not used to being loved SOBS) and also seivarden (pathetic lost puppy boyfriend gets too emotionally attached)#god bless five + mercy of kalr for bashing these 2 idiots heads together#ancillary justice#.diaries#everything abt this chapter rules. seivarden turning up in only underwear + gloves just to cuddle in medical#breq being like oh well guess im dying in space! and genuinely so surprised when LITERALLY EVERYONE cares enough to rescue her#JUST GRRRRR. I wish I knew other ppl irl into this series so I could grab them by the shoulders and autism stare#also breqs 'ships dont love other ships' :( monologue and seivarden bashing breq/ships heads together bc theyre so stupid#and breq being like I dont need meds 😡😡 I'll be fine with crutches 😤😤😤😤 and immediately collapsing I love bullheaded idiots
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was talking about dfk with my mom and i mentioned how uli & matz hadn’t really been mentioned in regard to the 2023 adaptation. and she said something like „their relationship is a big part of the story though. i mean, they’re not a couple, but they both really need each other and matz feels guilty because of ulis accident“ and my mind kinda trailed off there cause i was hung up on „uli and matz are not a couple“
but you see it? you see that they act like one? you see how gay it is?
#she read the book because i was talking about it so much#and she said it was very moving#dfk#das fliegende klassenzimmer#uli & matz#(i feel like these two are the most obvious with how outwardly affectionate they are#justus und der nichtraucher too though. you can only stare into your long lost friend's eyes for so long until it gets suspicious#though maybe my perception is biased.)#im afraid to ask but i kinda wanna know if she picked up on everything else too#was there a moment where she was like#hm 🤔#or is that just me and the little gay people in my phone#mine
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Everyone out here giving Hollow cute moth partners, or pretty mantises or bees or whatnot.
Fuck that, where's the AU where Hollow falls in love with a massive feral Wyrm?
#*Long Sigh* I guess I'll have to Do It Myself then#Hollow Knight#Yall are sleeping on this and it's criminal#It's such a funny idea#Tiny quiet and kind Hollow seeing a massive Wyrm just fucking up another Higher Being and going like-#''Oh no she's hot.''#and then like ''whAT DID I JUST THINK?!''#And she's just like...''wtf is this tiny little toothpick doing staring at me? you ain't food gtfo''#Hollow's got the Wyrm Genes that make him think Wyrms are Sexy and he's CONFUSED#But he tries to court her anyway because he's caught the Stupid For Her sickness#And she's annoyed for soooo looong because he won't leave her alone and his attempts at courting her are pathetically laughable.#Until one day she realizes -- ''Oh fUCK I'M IN LOVE WITH THIS IDIOT''#Obligatory 'antagonist tries to hurt/kill Hollow and Wyrm Lady goes absolutely BERSERK on their ass.' idea#But destroying them kills her and Hollow has to watch her die bc Rule of Angst#(He can't heal her. He lost the ability to Focus from containing the Radiance.)#(But he remembers what the King did and tries to desperately get her to do that too. It doesn't seem like it works...)#(But he refuses to leave her body bc he can't bear to loose her so he's there when she violently claws her way out the side of it)#(She collapses-bloody and exhausted-into his arms and greets him with the derisive nickname for him that's turned into an affectionate one)#(And he laughs while weeping tears of void. he laughs in relief and gratitude and love)
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Finally rewatching some doctor who, and the episode 'midnight' is such a different experience now what the fuck.
Spent the first half of the episode like "wait the doctor IS being reasonable this is an undiscovered lifeform its just trying to learn things its not its fault people think its creepy </3" and also "this is a bit more contrived than I remember. Why are all these tourists down for Murder after 20 minutes of someone repeating what they say." But of course the episode is having so much fun with itself that I'm having fun too <3
Anyway my crack theory is that the midnight creature is post-finale bill, due to the line, while possessing someone, of "I can move, I can feel again, I'm coming back to life" and all the really obvious evil little smiles
#godsrambles#hm maybe i will make a tag for this#drwho tag#cant believe thinking deeply about bills character has affected even this#even though the episode heavily implies the midnight creature is evil. im STILL like.#'augh thats a Creature! its probably been completely alone for who knows how long! it Sprinted towards the first people it saw!'#'maybe it Was just learning and it only became 'evil' because it learned from murderous tourists!'#'and even if it IS evil doesnt it deserve a chance? if the doctor couldve contained it safely..... take it to eldritch rehab............'#of course theres the line 'i can feel again' which implies it is NOT a brand new creature. insane about the 1 sec of lore#for a 1 episode creature we will never see ever again. who were they..........#i dont want dr who to answer that question its just fun to wonder about#how does a creature get trapped on an inhospitable planet for who knows how long..... do 'xtonic rays' destroy bodies but not souls???#someone exposed to the stars light and lost almost everything. just a shell of their former self. no body no thoughts just a shadow#idk!!!!! comparing this random 1 episode Creature-Meant-To-Be-Spooky to bill. i guess. it just hits different now#as a kid i thought 'wow the doctor shouldnt give it the benefit of the doubt its obviously evil'#but now i get it!!! the doctor has seen so much evil and Done so much evil. cant dismiss a creature just for being suspicious#reaching out to try and save someone else who he can only imagine has been so so terribly alone for way too long. augh#and this is season 4 so like. after everything in the s3 finale. one million yard stares into the distance.#ok one more thing. bill finds this creature and invites it to be a henchmaniac. that is all
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//love the random urge to reset/delete everything
#🌊 | outside the ship / ooc#🌊 | stuck in my datapad / mobile#[ this always happens when I stare too long at my asks that I failed to reply in time ]#[ I wish my brain could make it easier for me to just. be fast. be super fast. never procrastinate and just go write-- ]#[ I'm tired of living the same of loop of promising to get to stuff and then never get to it because of a sudden blank in my mind ]#[ I even lost a few mutuals because of that! because I procrastinated/disappeared for so long that they decided it was better to leave ]#[ they /are/ in the right to softblock me ofc they are. but it still hurts me a bit because I feel like I didn't try enough and that sucks#[ it makes me scared since everytime I dont write I feel like I need to always explain and apologize over and over and over again ]#[ I really miss having my own phone... I really do ]#tbd.#vent tw#[ I promise to delete this tomorrow ]
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(( ... ))
#fazil chirps (ooc)#i’m staring into the blank of void#i don’t hate my workplace i don’t hate working#i just hate the working hours#my colleagues can be kind of exhausting but otherwise they’re okay#it’s just tiring being the brain behind their every action bc they dunno how to problem-solve#i’m running to catch the train every morning bc i can’t bring myself to get out on time#even then i’m late lol#i ran and some dude sittin on a bench gets up and opens him arms#like i was running towards him like long-lost lovers#i just ran straight past him lmao#it was kinda cute but he’s probably way too young#oh yeah i’m still writing it’s just an incredibly slow process sorry
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there's a YouTube video where The Maze Runner cast gets back together on Zoom and reads through a few of the old scenes (basically acting them out but over Zoom)
apparently, Minho's introduction is described in the stage directions as, "4 boys detached from the surrounding party, not really a part of the peppy scene, like war veterans who never really quite assimilated into civilian life"
and then in the book The Maze Runner, there's "It hit Thomas then that the Runners were out in the Maze during the day and hadn't witnessed any of the recent events firsthand."
and I feel like we should talk about that more
#I don't know WHAT we're supposed to talk about because. Writer's Block.#but we should at least talk about it#I think I'm trying to say that it's kinda sad since he does genuinely care for his friends#(remember in book Death Cure when they had to leave Newt in the bowling alley and all Minho could do was ask#''how'd the world get so shucked?'')#but he never really gets to mingle or talk to the others so it's really just the Keepers that he's friends with#and even then he's probably out for too long for it to be more than business coworker relationships#anyway point is sometimes I wonder if Minho regrets being a Runner becuase of all the time he could've spent with his friends#I mean. in the end there really wasn't a point to 3 years of Running#the answer to the Maze was staring them in the face since the first couple of months#so all that time he could've spent with Newt in the fields or Alby managing supplies.. Gone#at least Gally and Frypan and Thomas are still here#....wait do you think he's kinda ''do not leave my fucking sight'' with the other three because of how much time he lost with Newt?
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@officerdooley
I was out shopping for a birthday gift for my brother and saw this button. It made me laugh so I bought it. McQueen did it before it was cool. Lol
#( ooc )#No idea what to do with it#though I have so many buttons it would likely get lost among them#only ones who would notice are staring at my bag too long lol
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all i need is to write. i can do almost 1.6 k in half hour. just write. just do it. cant be that hard, right? i just.. just need to do something...
#nisi rambles#i extra took a step back from other stuff to focus on these few things i have to do before japan#but i CANT every day i just stare at word#i wish i could say that its better with drawing but im shit at that too#but what should i do? watch anime all evening long?#i dont even want to do that#i get headaches all the time#is that the depression hip kids speak off or am i just lost
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i know it's been done many times before, but i just love gross weird creepy awkward simon and his cute harmless bird.
like she's so intrigued by him, so infatuated with this odd man. she giggles at his dark humour and crude jokes, a genuine smile on her face as her shoulders shake from laughing so hard while he's huffing out a sound of amusement of his own. meanwhile, everyone else has an uncomfortable look on their faces, giving them both judgemental stares.
he's the type to tug her close to him and kiss her nasty, uncaring if they're in a public setting. he sucks on her tongue and spits in her mouth, a big hand reaching down to squeeze her ass before disappearing up her skirt. he doesn't really care if others watch or not, and he grips her tight when she tries to escape, swallowing all her squeaky little noises with a satisfied hum.
there's no shame when it comes to him. he lets her know when he's going for a piss and asks if she wants to come, not bothering to close the door (he demands that she leaves it open when she goes too; it's only fair). he uses her hand to jerk himself off when she's busy or not in the mood, heavy groans rumbling from his chest because it feels so much better than rutting into his rough hand—not as lovely as her soft, pretty cunt though. he lets his tongue dip low to lap at her asshole and ignores her whiny protests, promising he'll make her feel good in a second, groaning to himself as she grinds against his face.
ughhh he's just so unusual. sometimes he stares at her too long for it to be considered cute, dark eyes burning into her very soul for so long that she has to remind him to blink. he corners her just to get a whiff of her perfume, heavy breathing down her neck like he's getting worked up just from smelling her.
when he comes home from deployment and tells her about the things that happened while he was away (lost one of my good knives in tha' prick), she's sitting pretty on his lap and chirping out her responses, urging him to tell her more. she says it's good for him to get it off his chest, but really she likes hearing his gruesome stories. it makes her heart flutter that he's so skilled and competent.
others have come up to her asking if she's okay and if she's aware of the weirdo following her, and she's like "yeah that's my man :)" she tries her best to drive them away before he starts sulking over yet another person interrupting their parallel play.
she just really loves how strange and off-putting he is.
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