#if i see another half eaten cheesecake i will cry

[part-time-deranged]

hour 1 of working retail: ahahahaha could be worse it pays ig

hour 9: im going to kill everyone in this building and then myself

[stargazer-sims]

The Art of Redemption

(part 9)

previous // next // story index

—————

"You would've made a great parent," Stan says.

Stan and Beth-Anne are sitting at a table by the window in their favourite waterfront café. From their spot, they can see the wide wooden boardwalk and the grey expanse of the mist-veiled harbour beyond it.

The pewter coloured sky is promising more snow, but Beth-Anne doesn't mind. Winter is her favourite season. She loves how soft and harmless everything looks when covered by a fresh snowfall. The snow creates a dreamlike image with no deep shadows or sharp edges, and nothing that hints at the harshness of the real world.

At this time of year, the boardwalk is quiet and mostly deserted, and that's how Beth-Anne likes it best. She prefers an uninterrupted view of the sea, and it's much easier to gather her thoughts when there isn't a crowd. Even from behind a window, the sight of the empty boardwalk and the slowly undulating ocean water helps to settle her.

She's not entirely calm, but she reflects that she's certainly felt worse.

She has just finished pouring her heart out to Stan about the metaphorical roller coaster she's been on. She told him all about the confrontation between Brett and Nikolai, her chat with Brett afterwards and her misgivings about the stability of his home life, and her persistent worry that Nikolai isn't showing much progress in recovering from the incident, even after several days.

To add to her troubles, Eden's parents seem to have developed a sudden and deep-seated fear that their child will get seriously hurt at the rink, and informed her this morning that they want to pull him out of both group classes and individual training.

Although they didn't come out and say it directly, Beth-Anne suspects this has to do with Nikolai and his injury. The Seong family doesn't know Nikolai. He and Eden are definitely aware of each other, but they've never met. Still, if Evie and George Seong are even half as tuned-in to the skating world as their son, she doesn't doubt they know all about what happened at the Four Continents.

Predictably, Eden didn't take his parents' expression of their concerns very well. The skating-obsessed little boy had reacted by creating the most dramatic scene possible; refusing to take his skates off, throwing himself to the ice and howling for all he was worth when his mother and father came to pick him up.

Beth-Anne sighs. All she needs now is for something to happen to make Mariah cry, and her students will have completed a streak.

"I'd be a shit parent," she says to Stan. "I can barely cope with the six kids I've got, and they're not even mine. Well, five I guess, since Nikolai is hardly a kid. Four, if I lose little Eden."

"You're not going to lose him," Stan predicts. "Kid with that much talent? Christ, from what I've seen, some day he might even be better than Nikolai. His parents would be out of their minds to make him quit."

"Tell that to them."

"I won't have to. If he can't make it clear to them himself, what's gonna happen if they pull him off the ice will do the job. I've watched him skate, and I swear to God... that child's entire body language shouts pure joy when he's out there. What do you think would happen if they took that away from him?"

"I don't want to think about that," she says. "I can't think about another one of my boys fading away." Her throat hurts, and the half-eaten slice of raspberry cheesecake on the plate in front of her no longer looks appetizing. Her stomach clenches as if she might be sick. "Everything's so fucked up right now, and I don't know what to do."

"Beth, look at me." Stan reaches across the small table and covers her hand with his. "Take a deep breath, and then tell me how much of the shit that's going on right now is actually something you can control."

She tries to meet his gaze, but her eyes start to sting and she lowers her head so he won't have a full view of her if she starts crying. "I... I don't know."

"Yes, you do." Stan's tone is firm, but not unkind. "You have no control over other people's choices. You have no control over how they act or what they feel. The only person you have control over is you, and when shit gets bad, the only feelings and actions you're responsible for are yours."

"Yeah, but—"

"No 'buts'. You know I'm right."

"I guess."

"No 'guess', either."

"Sorry."

"Tell me something," Stan says. "Are you being kind and fair? Are you really listening to your kids and doing your best to understand what they need?"

"Yeah."

"And are you helping them get what they need?"

"Of course," she says. "As best as I'm able to."

"Then, you're doing fine." Stan squeezes her hand lightly. "Those three boys and Mariah, Katie and Ruby, they love you. Anyone can see that, and anyone can see how much you love them. You don't need to be able to fix everything. You just need to be present for them, and it sounds like you are, so how about you stop beating yourself up, yeah?"

"I want them to be happy. I hate it when they're hurting."

"I know." Stan still hasn't let go of her hand. He grips it a little tighter and adds softly. "Just like I hate it when you're hurting. You think I don't wish I could wave a magic wand and take all the pain away from you? If I could do that, I would, but I can't."

She turns her hand so she can finally grasp his fingers in return. "This is enough," she says. "You being here with me. Being my friend and listening to all my problems."

"It's enough for your students too," he tells her. "Most people aren't looking for miracles."

"Is it going to get better?"

"I think you know the answer to that."

"Yeah, but... can you just tell me, please? I need to hear somebody say it."

"It'll get better. It always does." He smiles. "Your boys will be fine. Little Eden will get to keep skating, and Brett will grow out of needing to be constantly reassured, and Nikolai won't grieve forever."

"And what about me?" she asks.

Stan's gaze on her is steady. "There's more on your mind than all the stuff with your boys."

It's not a question. He knows her well enough that he doesn't need confirmation. What he's really doing is offering her an easy entry into talking about it. Stan is good at that, getting people to open up to him.

She closes her eyes and concentrates on the warmth of his hand. Stan isn't a physically affectionate person, but he knows when she needs grounding and he knows how to do it.

He'd sat with her and held her hand for hours when she'd been recovering in the hospital after her accident. He'd read books to her, some in English and some in his native Czech, so that she could hear his voice without having to say anything in reply. He'd dried her tears like no one else in her life had ever done. Stan has never been repulsed by her scars, never been afraid of her past.

Stan Kovac loves her like her parents should have. There's never been any question in her mind about that. He's not her real father, but he's the father she needs.

"It's the nightmares," she practically whispers. "The nightmares are back. Flashbacks too."

"How long?" Stan asks.

"I've been having nightmares since Four Continents. The flashbacks... they started up again a few days ago."

"And the drinking?" he probes gently. "That too?"

She shakes her head. "No. I promised you I wouldn't, and I meant it. I almost slipped up, but I got scared. Of what would happen, I mean. What I might do."

"You should've called me."

"I was scared."

Her voice is barely audible, but Stan still catches her words. "I wouldn't have judged you, little bee. You know that," he says. "Milena and I would've taken care of you. You and your Nikolai both."

"I'm sorry."

"No," he murmurs. "No, miláčku. You have nothing to apologize for. You're doing your best, and I know you've been trying very hard to manage everything. No one should expect more from you than that."

She tries to keep it together, but hearing him use the same term of endearment for her that he uses for Alžběta, his own daughter, causes something inside her to break. She's been holding so much in, fighting so damn hard to be strong for everyone, when all she really wants is to let go. She longs for somebody to take over the fight for her, just for a little while, so she can rest and not have to worry or be afraid. She wants someone to protect her like a parent protects their small child, to shield her from all the monsters waiting in dark closets, hungry to destroy her.

Without warning, an involuntary whimper escapes her. She pulls her hand away from Stan's and presses it over her trembling lips instead. Her eyes are streaming tears, blurring the world around her so that her surroundings no longer have meaning.

Stan doesn't say anything. He stands up, pulls some cash from his pocket and places it on the table between their two unfinished dessert plates. Then, he’s standing next to her chair, taking the hand that's not covering her mouth. He leads her toward the door, and then outside into the chilly February air.

Out on the boardwalk, Stanislav Kovac who rarely hugs anybody, pulls her into his arms and holds her tight. The last vestiges of her self-control disappear. She buries her face in the scratchy, vaguely peppermint-scented warmth of his old wool coat and lets out all her frustration, self-doubt, exhaustion, pain and fear in sobs that threaten to take her breath away.

She has no idea how long they stand there, but eventually her tears run out. She feels drained, and she doesn't want to move. In the back of her mind, she even wonders if she can. It would be nice to stay in the safety of Stan's embrace forever, as impossible as she knows it is.

"Let's go home, little bee," Stan says.

She tries to reply, but the only sound her aching throat produces is a tiny, pitiful squeak. She wants to tell him she likes hearing him call her 'little bee'. The pet name he gave her years ago is hers alone, and it speaks volumes to her desperate heart.

"We'll stop by your house first," he continues. "You'll need some things if Milena and I are going to keep you for the night."

"Wh-what... what about Nikolai?" she somehow manages to ask.

"We'll bring him as well, if he wants to come," says Stan. "There's plenty of room for both of you. He can have the downstairs guest room, and you can have Alžběta's old room. We've redecorated it. I think you'll like it."

She moves her head against his shoulder in her best version of a nod. "Okay."

"You can have a nice meal and a hot bath and a good long sleep. If you're feeling better in the morning, then we'll talk. Okay? And if you think you need a professional, I'll help you get in touch with somebody."

She sniffles. "No. I had my fill of shrinks a long time ago. I just... I need to tell somebody everything. And I need someone to tell me I'm going to be okay, that I'm not too fucked up to be normal. That I'm not broken."

Stan strokes the back of her head, just once, smoothing down her windblown hair. "We're all broken, Beth. Every one of us in our own way, and that's all right. It's okay to be broken. The important thing is not to let yourself believe you can never be mended."

[eldritchwhispersofficial]

Cheesecake but make it DEPRESSING AS FUCK AND MAKE YOU CRY ABOUT TIM AGAIN (AKA have my personal headcanon about WHY Tim likes cheesecake that has nothing to do with canon at all)

The whole "Tim likes cheesecake" thing started off as a fatphobic cheap shot at Tim Sutton (possibly, although I'm fairly certain he debunked that claim) and then became a meme and now the MH community is trying to distance themselves from it But... What if we didn't? What if we fixed it instead? And yes, we CAN fix it. Lets take a look at my headcanon, shall we?

First of all, eating an entire cheesecake in one sitting is such... a Tim Wright thing to do. No, no, no. Stick with me. Look at Tim. Do you fucking think that man has eaten an actual meal in the past 72 hours? Please, he's probably had like six cups of coffee, an apple he grabbed on the way out the door, a bag of peanuts he found in Jay's car, and half of Jay's hamburger and the rest of his fries which Jay forced him to eat out of guilt because "Tim, c'mon. Have you eaten at all today?"

Not to mention, he's running off of exactly 3.5 hours of sleep at any given time, and all the 5 hour energies and cups of horrible gas station coffee in the world ain't keeping him conscious. And you know that man hasn't consumed more than 500 calories PERIOD over the past 3 days.

I'd have to channel my inner MatPat and reverse engineer Tim's height and age to figure out his weight and thus his needed caloric intake per day (which I did, assuming he's in his early 20s and knowing his height is 5'7, the average weight would be around 155 pounds. Knowing that he's both a heavy smoker and an alcoholic, both factors that are known to contribute to body weight, not to mention his stockier build I would put him closer to 180 pounds, giving us a basal metabolic rate of 1,760 calories. Considering the fact that he probably has to run away from various threats such as the Operator and Alex, and also probably has to run after Jay to stop him from doing stupid shit, I'd say he gets exercise 4-5 times a week, bringing his total daily calories needed up to 2,580), but it's safe to say that however many calories he needs? He ain't fucking getting them. Not to mention, he probably hasn't slept either. He's running on less than empty. So he eats an entire cheesecake in one sitting while relaxing on the hood of Jay's car. He needs food in his stomach to keep him going, and he needs the temporary sugar boost to keep him awake for at least another hour and a half. Why cheesecake? Here comes headcanon #2: Tim associates cheesecake with freedom. Tim spent most of his life in a mental hospital. Meaning he spent most of his life eating hospital food. As someone who briefly lived in a hospital (not a mental one, but still a hospital) I can tell you first hand that the food there (at least in the US) is SHITTY. Like, only slightly better than cafeteria food. Imagine eating cafeteria food for three meals a day, every day. The most sweets you get are probably a cookie or maybe Jell-O. Maybe pumpkin pie during the holidays or a cupcake on your birthday. That's it. You sure as HELL aren't getting cheesecake, unless someone buys it for you- and lets be honest. Who's out here buying little Tim cheesecake in the mental hospital? No one. So Tim sees commercials for cheesecake on TV. Probably Philadelphia Cream Cheese or Cheesecake Factory commercials. Doesn't matter. The point is, it's not the food- it's the freedom. The family. The being somewhere other than a fucking hospital. THAT is what Tim really wants. It's all he ever wanted. So when he finally gets the hell out of the hospital and gets a job and a place to live, maybe he's going to try cheesecake, right? That boy's *never* had it in his life. And so it suddenly becomes his comfort food. He always associated it with freedom, and now that he is free, the association becomes even stronger. And he eats an entire cheesecake. Why? Because he can. He may be constantly on the run, he may be afraid for his life, but he's still free. He's not trapped in the mental hospital, alone with no one who cares about him. He's free. He's an adult. He can do whatever he wants. He can eat an entire cheesecake if he feels like it- and no one's going to stop him. Not the Operator, not ToTheArk, not Alex- NO ONE. It is an act of defiance- an act of freedom in the midst of captivity. *MatPat voice* BUT HEY, THAT'S JUST A THEORY- A "FEEL DEPRESSED ABOUT TIM WRIGHT'S HORRIBLE LIFE" THEORY

[younghosfavewhore]

fill me up   2.19

xl [s]

wc; 1.5k 

plot; nctjungwoo!boyfriend x femreader!girlfriend

you and jungwoo fuck raw for the first time.

warnings; fluff?!, MATURE CONTENT, smut, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie

"happy birthday!" you exclaim as jungwoo walks into the 127 dorm. a grin plasters onto his face, the one that flashes those pearly white teeth.

you and the boys went to hell and back preparing this surprise for him. the dorm was decorated with him, covering walls and any form of furnishing he could correlate with.

"the member with the best hair" was branded onto a gift bag filled with hair products. "netflix and chill" is inscribed on streamers lining the tv stand. photos of him -be it memes or photoshoots- lined the walls and other stands. you were proud with the scheme you laid out for this. you were happy the boys helped, but you were even more happy that jungwoo seemed to appreciate the effort.

"y/n!" he mutters the grin still prominent on his face.

mark was quick to put jungwoo in a chokehold, "what about us?" he asked with a smile. "we helped, too." you couldn't help but chuckle.

the other boys crowded around him. chanting and cheering him on. "happy 24th! jungwoo-ssi!" they joked. you could only imagine the neighbors frustration at the noise.

throughout the excitement, jungwoo kept his eyes on yours. you could really tell he loved it. he breaks through the boy’s moshpit to get to you across the room. the boys erupt in giggles, teasing you as the tall brunette wraps you in his embrace. his scent was lovely, like he bathed in a million candles.

“thank you...” he whispers into your ear. you wrap your arms around him and you pull his body towards you. 

“you’re welcome.” you smile into the crook of his neck.

“awww!” the other members taunt. you and jungwoo smile before pulling away. 

“can we eat the cake now?” taeil jokes.

“yea, you guys can have your moment after we celebrate.” doyoung smiles.

you nod and lead the way to the kitchen. there were cheesecakes and cakes set up on the counter. 

“wow...” jungwoo’s eyes beam at the food in front of him.

“우리(our) food boy.” mark jokes and the members let out small snickers at the quirky nickname.

“let’s eat!” jungwoo exclaims and everyone scramble for plates and drinks.

-

before you know it, the boys are slumped with their plates in their lap; most of them half asleep in the dorm’s living room. you were just glad to see that they ate well. except, jungwoo was wide awake. you’re standing in the kitchen clearing the dishes and soju bottles off of the counter when he walks up behind you. 

“y/n...” he says, bringing his arms to your waist. he places light kisses on your neck and you smile at the sudden gesture.

“yes?” 

“i love you,” he pauses. “so much.”

“and i love you more.” you refute.

he smiles into your neck and takes your hands. “come on.”

“where are we going?” you smirk, already knowing the answer. 

your question is met with silence as he leads you to his room. you knew where this was going and it got your heart pumping. jaehyun was knocked out on the couch downstairs, so jungwoo had the room to himself. you reach his room and he closes the door behind you.

“jung-” you start, but he cuts you off.

“to show my appreciation,” he pauses, taking your hand again and leading you to the bed. “i want to return the favor.”

“you don’t have to-” he cuts you off again, and if it weren’t for the desire burning in your core you may have been offended. he presses his lips against yours, pushing you back on the bed.

his body hovered over yours, and it was a staggeringly familiar feeling. the kisses moved from your lips to your neck, and soon jungwoo was pressing soft kisses onto your chest. he slides off your shirt. the feeling of his fingertips grazing your skin sends shivers down your spine.

“jungwoo...” his name rolls off your tongue as you whimper.

he reacts more than you expected. he unclasps your bra and places small licks around your nipple. you moan in response as he sucks on your nipple, fondling the other with his fingers. he was driving you insane with his touch already.

he presses kisses onto you again, trailing down your stomach and towards your groin. you want to feel him but his clothes are restricting that. 

“shirt...” you whimper and he smiles in response. he slides off his shirt revealing that heavenly six-pack that only you were lucky enough to get a feel of. 

he sets his hand on your thighs and situates himself between your legs.

“i want to taste you,” he says, looking at you for approval.

you nod. how could you ever say no?

he slips off your pants and admires the view of your wet panties. 

“hot.” he chuckles and runs a finger down the soaked cloth. 

you were never one for teasing, and now was no different. “jungwoo, please...”

he smirks, leans down, and begins placing kisses onto your inner thigh. the kisses trail up and down, teasing at your groin just to travel back up your leg. why did he have to play around so much? moans escape your lips when his mouth finally meets the fabric.

he presses his nose against your panties inhaling. “you smell so good,” he says, lecherously. he’s quick to pull them off and his eyes widen at the sight of your pretty pussy. 

he leans back in, placing one, slow lick from the bottom of your slit up to your clit. you gasp at the sudden action. he places more licks onto your clit, flicking his tongue up and down, sending you into a frenzy all at once. 

“jungwoo,” you moan and repeat his name as if it's the only word you know. “fuck...”

his name must be his weakness, because with that he sticks a finger inside you. your back arches towards him and a smirk plasters on his face. his face meets yours as you make a desperate attempt to kiss him. you can taste yourself on his tongue and moan onto his lips. the feeling of his digit pumping in and out of you, the feeling of your tongues mingling with each other, the feeling of lust taking complete control was too much, it sent you into hysteria.

“c-close-” you mutter, breaking the kiss for only a millisecond.

jungwoo adds another finger, curving them perfectly to hit your sweet spot. with that, you’re sent into orgasm. your pussy clenches and throbs around his finger. jungwoo had eaten you out before, but never like this. your jaw is left slacked and you want more. 

before you even have time to process, jungwoo slips his fingers out of you, licks them clean, and slips out of his pants. his hard dick falls out and all you can anticipate is the feeling of him filling you up. he reaches to the nightstand to grab a condom and you stop him. he gives you a confused look, understandably. you and jungwoo have never had unprotected sex, but you needed the full experience, you couldn’t let this chance go to waste.

“i’ve been taking the pill. fuck me... raw.” you confess your zeal and he shoots you a smile.

without hesitating, he positions himself at your entrance and slides his girth into you. your jaw hangs open and your brows furrow. jungwoo’s eyes roll back and he bites his lip. the look of him fucking you bare was one you never thought you’d get to see.

he inhales a sharp breath until he bottoms out, his head is hanging down and his hair is covering his eyes. you wrap your arms around him and lift yourself up, craving the feeling of him pumping into you. it’s almost as though he’s reading your mind, jungwoo begins to pound into you. the feeling of your tight, wet pussy around his thick cock was too much for him not to give into. it wasn’t until now, that lewd, wet sounds fill the air, that you remember the boys downstairs. but the feeling was too good to stop. they had heard you by now, what more is there to lose?

“i’m so close,” he coos, and you could tell. his strokes were getting messy, and he would ram into your sweet spot every few pumps. “where do you want it?” his voice was low and groans escaped his lips.

you don’t hesitate to answer, “inside me,” you cry out, “fill me up, jungwoo.” you emphasize his name and he speeds his thrusts.

he cums inside of you, the thick, white, sticky liquid filling you up. he lifts from your embrace to sit back and watch his cum-covered dick slide in and out of you. the overstimulation was killing him but the sight of his cum dripping out of you made it worth it. he gives a final stroke before pulling out and catching his breath. 

“i love you.” you repeat the sentiment and place a kiss on his cheek. 

“i love you more.” he smiles. “i’ll get you a towel.” 

the innocent smile on his face didn’t match up with the way he just fucked you, but that was his charm. and you loved that about him. you loved everything about him.

[lost-in-the-80s]

Give Me A Chance

Pairing: Slash x fem!reader

Words: 1,196k

Summary: You’ve made your biggest mistake, falling in love with your brother's friend who would never like you back. Or so you think. (fluff)

A/N: George Michael’s Careless Whisper was going in and out of my head while I wrote this lol.

PS: Also, I’d like to thank you guys for your patience with Kink Roulette, I’m writing your requests, but at a very slow pace, once I finish all of them I’ll make another kink weekend and post all of them at once :)

You looked at yourself in the mirror, applying some red lipstick on, remembering how you had managed to steal it from a nearby store some weeks ago. 

Times were difficult and being one of the only people who worked, you had to put all your money into paying the bills. 

Being Izzy’s younger sister had its advantages, but sharing the apartment with four other dudes wasn’t one of them. They were always drunk or high, yelling and laughing at anything, and you were lucky if you could come out of the shower and not find one of them using the toilet, since the apartment’s locks didn’t even work properly.

It was hard in the beginning, getting used to their personalities and habits, plus all the bitterness among themselves, but slowly, day after day, you started to like them, they started to feel like family, people you were comfortable to be around.

You liked Duff’s jokes, and the way Steven would always keep you company when going to the beach, you liked the way Axl would come up with a different nickname for you every day, just to let Izzy pissed, always making you laugh. And oh, Izzy, how was it good to have him around, always looking up for each other.

But the one you had gotten closer to was Slash. You couldn’t simply choose one thing you liked more about him… you loved everything. You loved the way he’d get excited and talk for hours about his passions in life, the way he’d always make you smile, the way he smiled, and how his curls bounced when he moved around. 

You had fallen in love with him, long time ago, and you simply couldn’t hold yourself from spending the last minutes of your day imagining how it would be to be with him, to be his, to feel his fingers against your skin, or to hear him calling you baby, or-

“Y/N!” 

Duff’s voice cut your thoughts.

“What?”

“Your date’s here!” He shouted from the living room.

You sighed loudly, getting your purse and slowly walking towards the main door. 

Slash didn’t like you, he would always see you as Izzy’s little sister, or so you thought…. 

So here you were, about to go on a date with Travis, your co-worker, who had been asking for a chance for months now. 

“Call me if anything happens, ok?” 

You gave Izzy a thumbs up, before opening the door. 

Travis was leaning against his car, his arms crossed in front of his body as he looked at you, his mouth parting a little when he checked out your outfit.

“Ready?” He asked, opening the door for you.

“Yeah.” 

---

About an hour had passed since you arrived at the restaurant, you had already eaten and Travis was telling you what seemed to be the most exciting story about his childhood, but you just couldn’t listen.

A song playing in the background made your mind travel to Slash’s face, and then to his voice, and you silently damned the universe for being cruel enough to not give you a chance to be with him. 

“.... and you’re not listening,”

Your head snapped towards Travis. 

“Huh?.... Sorry, I was-”

“Thinking about someone else.” He finished for you.

You didn’t say anything. How could you justify yourself, being transparent enough that he knew you didn’t really want to be there.

“I always wondered why you didn’t give me a chance, and then Joan said you liked this guy, but I thought that maybe if we went on a date you’d… I don't know… start liking me, maybe?” 

He laughed at himself. 

“I’m- I’m sorry, Travis.”  You looked down.

“It’s ok, Y/N. It’s not your fault.”

You looked back at him and took a deep breath. 

Why can’t things be easier? Why can’t I just like someone who likes me? You thought.

“Do you want me to drive you home now, or do you want to get dessert first?” He offered you a smile, trying to lift your mood. “Their cheesecake is awesome! You gotta try it!”

You thought for a second.

“Hey, it’s not because it didn’t work out that we can’t be friends.” He shrugged. 

“Cheesecake sounds good.” You said after a few seconds.

---

You left your shoes by the door as you quietly walked to your room. It was around 9 pm and you were sure the boys had left for some nearby bar.

Entering your room you screamed startled when you turned the lights on and found someone on your bed, Slash, more precisely.

“Slash! What the hell are you doing here?”

He looked up at you through his curls, placing a bottle of cheap whisky on your night table. He seemed as startled as you, as if he didn’t expect you to be there so soon. He had a piece of paper that looked like a picture in his hand.

“Shit, sorry, Y/N, I just…” He didn't seem to be drunk, even though the bottle was half empty.

“It’s okay.” 

You placed your bag on a dresser before sitting on the edge of your bed. 

“What’re you doing here, Slash?” You asked quietly.

“I was just… looking at this picture.” 

He moved to sit beside you, showing you a picture of the two of you together. 

“It’s a good picture.” You smiled, remembering the day it had been taken.

“Yeah…”

There was silence for a second, both of you staring ahead, avoiding each other’s gaze, too afraid that the other would be able to read your eyes and see all you had been hiding. 

“How was your date?” He asked.

“It didn’t work out.” You said after some seconds.

“Shame.” He looked at you.

“Yeah.” You looked back at him.

You stared at each other for what seemed like forever and then he slowly started to lean in, his face so close to yours that you could feel his hot breath against your face, so you closed the distance between the two of you, kissing his lips delicately.

Soon he deepened the kiss, his tongue invading your mouth as his hands pulled you closer. You could taste the whisky in his tongue as it explored every inch of your mouth. 

“Give me a chance.” He said when you pulled apart. “I know that I’m not boyfriend material and that you deserve someone much better, but if you give me a chance, I promise you that I’ll make you happy.”

You would never be able to describe the happiness that filled your heart when you heard that. A huge smile appeared on your face and for a second you thought you would cry. That was all you had ever wanted to hear and you couldn’t believe that it was true. 

“I- I thought you didn’t like me back.”

“Of course I do! I always did. But I knew that Izzy would get pissed and that I would end up hurting you- but, Y/N, I swear that I won’t,  I’ll give you my best! I promise!”

“I know, Saul, I believe in you.” You cupped his face with your hands, pulling him closer for another kiss.

Thank you for reading this <3

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[trentaafcsblog]

February 14th

Anyone You Like

Warning - this is really shit, I’m so sorry! 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, my love” he whispers as he snuggles up next to you, pressing a kiss onto the tip of your nose and smiling when you start to stir from your sleep. His heart going all fuzzy as your face scrunches up and you lift your arms above your head to do your classic morning stretch - something so simple but he was literally obsessed with it, having seen you do it pretty much every single morning for the past six years. 

“Hi” you’re saying when you finally open your eyes, burying your head into his chest as he brushes your hair away from your face and wipes the sleep from your eyes, mumbling an ‘I love you’ when you lean up to kiss his lips before stopping yourself from going any further.

“What’s that?” you’re asking as you shuffle out of his arms and pull the duvet away from your face, looking up at the ceiling and realising that it’s completely covered in red and white balloons with pieces of gold ribbon dangling off them. Your lips going all pouty as you sit up to get a better look at everything, noticing the rose petals that are sprinkled on the floor and the huge bouquet of red roses that are waiting for you on your bedside table, a little card in the top that reads ‘I love you forever and always’ - a saying that you’d picked up along the course of your relationship and something that had a much deeper meaning than people probably realised. 

“Babyyy” you’re cooing as he goes all shy and giggly, hiding his face under the covers because neither of you were ones to make a massive fuss like this, particularly on Valentine’s Day because you don’t see the point in celebrating each other on one specific date when your love for one another grows more and more with each passing day. “I love you so much” you’re saying as you try to pull the duvet away from his face, fighting a losing battle when he rolls over and prevents you from seeing his blushing cheeks, leaving you with no option other than to lean across him and attack him with kisses until he’s forced to look at you. 

“Stop” he giggles when he gives in and reappears from under the pillow, looking up at you hanging over him with the same look in his eyes that he had when he first realised that he loved you, one that let you know that he was yours until the end and that he’d go to the ends of the earth to see the little smile that’s now on your face. Just staring at one another for a few seconds, still in shock that you get to call the other person yours after all this time. Wondering what the hell you did to deserve one another and be lucky enough to experience all of life’s journeys with them, and all of the challenges that you thought would break you both - yet here you are now, probably the most content you’ve ever been, with a future ahead of you that you could only have ever dreamed of. But your little romantic moment quickly comes to an end when his tummy starts rumbling, just like it always does when it gets past about 7am, knowing that food probably occupies his mind more than you do as you lay there and roll your eyes at him. 

“Just you wait until you see what I’ve done” he winks before springing out of bed, heading downstairs and reappearing a few minutes later with a huge tray piled up with all kinds of plates and bowls. Orange juice sloshing over the side of one of the glasses and making you cringe when it leaves a trail of little splashes all over your white carpet. “It’ll come out, don’t worry” he’s telling you before putting the tray on your lap, clearly not as bothered about the mess that he’s made as you are, dreading to think about the state of the kitchen going by the array of different breakfast items he’s brought you. Waffles, croissants, mini pancakes that he’s cut into the shape of hearts with a cookie cutter that he found at the back of one of the kitchen drawers, a fruit salad, vanilla yoghurt, a random bowl of baked beans and some nutella and syrup to dip things into. “Looks delicious” you grin before scooping some of the chocolate up on a strawberry, getting him to open his mouth before you’re popping it in and he’s teasing that that’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for him, which of course earns him a gentle smack on the chest and a threat to flip all of his hard work on the floor, knowing that it’ll make a lovely contribution to the orange splatters that now decorate your lovely white flooring.

“I got you a card as well” he’s telling you with a mouthful of croissant, the flaky bits of pastry flying all over the duvet from where he’s trying to talk. “Just as well I got you one too” you wink before handing him the red envelope with his initial and a little kiss on the front. “Nice to know you’ve made it all cute” you joke as you look down at his to see ‘the missus’ scrawled across the front in a pen that looks like it ran about about five years ago. “Excuse me, I was busy doing all of this” he’s telling you as he points at the ceiling and the tray of half-eaten breakfast, most of which he’s consumed himself despite claiming that it’s for ‘the pretty lady’, replying with ‘I know, I know, I’m just kidding’ as he hums and slides his finger under the flap of the envelope to open it up.

“That’s cute, innit” he’s saying as he nods towards the card that he’s got you. A teddy bear couple on the front, one of them holding a bouquet of flowers and the other one going all shy and blushy in response. “Yeah, I take it you’re this one though” you tease as you point towards the blushing bear, not even bothering to fight back because he can’t argue with that, not after the state he got himself into this morning when you saw what he’d stayed up doing all night. 

“Thank you so much” he’s whispering once he’s finished reading your card, leaning across to kiss you whilst trying to disguise the fact that he’s crying at what you’ve written inside. “Thank you so much for mine, who knew you had such a way with words?” you smile as he rolls his eyes at you, propping your card up on his bedside table so that it acts as a little reminder to read it again before he goes to bed. Pulling you into his side and pressing a series of kisses onto your forehead as the two of you lay there in each other’s arms, tracing patterns along each other’s bare skin with your hearts going all fluttery each time the other person looks at you, never wanting this moment to end.

***

“Wow, what’s going on in here, mister?” you’re asking when you come walking into the kitchen to see him leaping around and trying to juggle about six different frying pans. Completely ignoring your question when he sees what you’ve come down to dinner dressed in. The most beautiful red silk dress that hugs your figure perfectly, paired with the pair of Louboutins that he bought you for your birthday a couple of years ago and a little black clutch bag to match - not that you particularly needed it when you were spending the night at home, but he loves how you still go to so much effort to look all pretty for him, even though he’d love you just as much if you turned up to the kitchen in your Minnie Mouse pyjamas that are littered with about twenty different holes. 

“I would come and give you a kiss but I’m quite busy if you can’t tell” he’s saying as you giggle at him. “Come and sit here to keep me company though, I poured a glass of your favourite drink so don’t say I don’t look after ya” he winks as you coo and make your way over to the kitchen island, clinging onto the worktop to steady yourself because it’s been ages since you last wore heels and you don’t want a repeat of five minutes ago when you nearly went arse over tit halfway down the stairs. 

“Is that my favourite pasta?” you’re asking as he nods his head nervously, now realising why he spent most of today’s movie marathon on fancy restaurant websites trying to find a recipe for something that you couldn’t quite get a glimpse of thanks to the angle of his phone, but it turns out that it was your favourite dish. Immediately feeling guilty for scowling at him and telling him off for being rude when you were meant to be relaxing and watching all of the soppy love films on Netflix, completely oblivious to the fact that he was actually busy trying to memorise about twelve different recipes so that he could pretend that he knew it off by heart, particularly as it’s your favourite. 

“I made my own garlic bread too, look” he’s saying proudly as he points towards the oven. “And a salad, and some of that fancy bread that you dip in the oil and vinegar, well actually that’s a lie, I bought the bread but I mixed the oil and vinegar together and cut the bread into little stars” he’s telling you as your heart almost bursts at the seams. Looking over at the plate of little bread stars across the other side of the kitchen and just dying to squish him for being so cute, especially since he’d cut them all freehand without using any sort of template - something that he was incredibly proud of himself for, even if a couple of them had very wonky edges and a few missing points.

“Aaand I made a chocolate cheesecake as well” he says smugly as you raise your eyebrows in slight disbelief. “All whilst I was getting ready?” you’re questioning as he nods his head. “Don't look so shocked! You were getting ready for about three hours so I had plenty of time to do everything, even if I did spend about an hour trying to work out how to use a garlic crusher” he’s smiling as you laugh at him, loving how he was still pretty inept in the kitchen despite managing to conjure up a romantic meal for you. 

“Let me take the pretty lady to her table” he’s saying with a posh voice as you slide off the bar stood and link your arm through his, letting him lead you over to the dining table that you didn’t even notice when you came in. “Oh my god” you’re cooing as your eyes scan over the little tea lights that he’s shaped to look like a heart, rose petals scattered across the table and a collection of Polaroids that the two of you have taken across the years dotted around too. Trying to swallow down the lump in your throat as he pulls the chair back and helps you get comfy before disappearing off and coming back to bring you all of the food that he’s prepared.

“This looks amazing” you whisper as you reach across the table to hold his hand, mouthing a little ‘thank you’ at him as he lifts your hand up and presses a kiss onto your skin. “Don’t go all shy and emotional on me now, missy, it’s not our first date” he teases as you giggle at him and wipe away a stray tear. Being cut out of your emotional moment when he forces a little star of bread into your mouth, the oil and vinegar dribbling down your chin as you give him the evils and try to pat it away with one of the paper napkins that’s he’s folded into a square - covered in little Christmas puddings because ‘what’s the point in buying ones for Valentine’s Day when we can use what we’ve already got?’ Tempted to do the same thing back to him but you’re managing to resist the urge to start a food fight on the most romantic day of the year, instead dipping your fork into your bowl of pasta and twiddling several strands of linguine around it before putting it into your mouth. Clinging onto the table when you start to chew, your eyes blowing wide as you stare straight back at him and wag your finger in his direction. Waving your hands above your head and clapping before swallowing and letting out a little cheer. “Is it that good?” he laughs as you start shovelling more of the pasta into your mouth, giving him the all important answer he needs as he breathes a sigh of relief, knowing that all of his not-so-sly google searches and telling offs during your movie day have paid off.

“Thank you so much for all of this” you’re saying as you tuck into your slice of cheesecake, admiring the little hearts that he’d swirled into the top of the chocolate mixture before doing the all important taste test. Nodding your head and smiling at him to reassure him that it tastes incredible before he’s reaching across the table to hold your hand again. “Thank you so much for making me realise what love is” he’s saying as you try your best to fight back the tears. Never really hearing him come out with things like that unless he’s drunk, probably because he gets too shy and embarrassed and worries that you won’t feel the same way, despite spending the past six years of your life with him and reassuring him every single day that he’s the one for you, so hearing him have the confidence to tell you how much you mean to him means the absolute world. 

“Thank you for making my life a million times better and holding my hand through all of what life’s thrown at us” he’s telling you as you tilt your head to the side and just admire the man you love with your whole heart going all soppy, clearly having added something to his pasta that evoked this kind of emotion. “And for keeping my feet on the ground and being there when things haven’t gone quite as I’d planned” he’s saying as you sniff away opposite him, your thumb rubbing circles on the back of his hand as he carries on. “There’s genuinely nobody else in the entire world that I love as much as you” he’s adding, his voice breaking half way through, making the rest of the sentence all shaky, as he does his best to try and hold himself together, despite just wanting to burst into tears at how much he means each and every one of those words. 

“I love you so much” you blub before getting up and making your way around the table to him, sitting down on his lap and burying your head in the crook of his neck as his arms snake around your waist and pull you close to him. His fingers tracing gentle patterns on the sides of your hips as you play with his hair, occasionally pressing the odd kiss to his skin which makes his grip around your body become even tighter. A comfortable silence washing over the two of you as you sit there in a completely love-filled state, neither person knowing quite what to say, but going by each other’s reactions a few minutes ago, it’s clear that this is what love feels like.

“I got you a present” you’re saying as you pull away from him, breaking the silence and climbing off his lap before disappearing off into the hallway. Picking up the little white gift bag that you’d left at the bottom of the stairs when you came down for dinner, your fingers looping through the silk handles as you make your way back to him. “I thought we said no presents?” he’s questioning as you scoff at him. “Says the man who decided to decorate the bedroom and cook me dinner” you’re replying as he gives you a shy smile at the thought. “It’s just a little something but it shows how much I love you and I know you’ve wanted it for ages” you tell him as he pulls one end of the bow, watching it unravel before he’s dipping his hand into the bag and fumbling around amongst the tissue paper. Pulling out several sheets of white tissue paper littered with tiny scarlet red hearts before he’s eventually reaching the box inside. Looking at you with a confused expression as he lifts the rectangular black box out and gives it a little shake, something rattling inside as he pauses for a second to think about what it could be, ruling out the possibility of it being a bracelet or a fancy watch, not that he’d ever want you spending that much money on him, of course.

“Just open it!” you’re giggling as you push him to open the gift, the anticipation getting to you more than it is him as. “I’m scared” he laughs nervously, waiting a few seconds before he’s beginning to lift the lid off. “Don’t be” you’re whispering as he looks at you one final time before fully taking it off. 

His jaw dropping as he admires what’s inside, his gaze flicking between you and the inside of the box as he tries to process what you’ve given him. 

“We’re having a baby?” he asks as you nod your head, your reaction taking a while to process in his mind, but after what feels like forever he’s letting out a breathy laugh, one that combines happiness and slight disbelief. And then the tears are coming too, his hand covering his face as he sobs into his palm. Making your way back over to him and wrapping your arms around his neck as you rest your head on top of his, letting him come to terms with the fact that you’ve blessed him with the best gift of all.

“Thank you so much” he’s crying as he takes the pregnancy test back out of the box, admiring the two little lines that are showing on the screen - confirming that there’s another life inside of you, made up of both you and him. “No, thank you so much” you’re sniffling as you cup his face and press a little kiss onto his lips. Staring into his teary eyes before they’re fluttering shut when your foreheads touch and the tips of your noses brush over one another. Neither of you knowing quite what to say as you settle back down on his knee again, just holding him close to you until he pulls away every few seconds to look at the pregnancy test again, feeling as though this is all one big dream and someone’s going to wake him up and take it away from him at any given moment. But it’s not. You’re living the dream, and it’s about to become a reality in just a matter of months, a reality that you’ve been craving for the past six years and one that you wouldn’t want to experience with anyone else, and now, it’s one step closer to becoming yours. 

 February the 14th. The day your lives changed forever.

——————————————————————————

I hope you enjoyed this little imagine 🥰 please let me know who you imagined it with because I’m nosy and I’d love to know hehe, I hope you’ve all had the best Valentine’s Day (regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not) and remember that I love you all to bits x

[closer-stars]

Heart of Depth (3)

Member: Yeosang Genre: Action, Slice of Life, Fantasy, Fluff, a little tension. Genshin Inspired AU Word Count: 9k Requested: Sort of yeah Content: Yeosang x MC development. More world building. Food stuff. A little bit of crime stuff, some history, some art info dump, some typical genshin shenanigans. Mild Violence (aka haha WooSanSang being badasses). Allusions to death. Note: Had to cut down part 3, it’s actually a lot longer originally lol. Inazuma’s been insane content. HoD was supposed to be 5 parts but considering how lengthy the parts have become it might be longer oops. Links to be updated after 24 hours. Life update: kinda got a slightly consistent work now so been focused on that. I hope this tides everyone over until I make a better return. Network: @ateezlovenet Tag list: @barsformars @miniyeo @jeongyunhoed @yeekies @yeotlny @frankenstein852 @shinyddeonghwa @prodbyteez @yeochikin @yeocult @harubirus

Part 2

“Yeosang, you might have to skip on meeting with them today.” 

He looks up from his screen, peering at San several feet away from him. “Why?” 

The good thing about San is that he’s unfazed when Yeosang uses that tone on him. He doesn’t cower when it comes to it, besides, there’s a special voice he uses when he’s genuinely angry. “Looks like there’s something special going on in the museum’s garden at night.” San explains. He already learned the hard way to not speak in riddles to him, but there were things that were better off spoken with mind games. “Check your email, I sent you the notice.” He says, shifting his attention to other matters on his plate. 

There’s something in San’s voice that makes Yeosang want to groan. Usually, this means San’s got some sort of trick up his sleeve when some sort of misdemeanor has been happening-- though the last time San had to speak in riddles over something serious was a few thousand years back. To cut the agony short, Yeosang shifts his attention to his emails, already the email San has forwarded sits at the top. 

It’s been a recurring incident for the past few weeks now. It’s only now that the museum have found the source of the smell. There’s been a peculiar flower that only blooms at night, emitting a scent similar to lavender, despite not looking like the mentioned plant. Though no one knows what flower is, the only response the staff has at the moment was to leave it be and wait for further instructions from the board. The photos attached to the notice made it easy for San to recognize it, all the man was waiting for was for Yeosang to see the photos too. 

His demeanor changes almost immediately once it registers in his head. That’s his lover’s flower, the Neve Jewel. It’s blooming again. Truthfully, Yeosang didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He didn’t really think they would’ve kept their promise after all this time. He stares at the images. He knows that glow, the shape, the colors all too well. All that’s left is the scent, it’s been so long since he smelled those flowers, now all but a lingering feeling in his dreams. Deep blue eyes lay unmoving on his computer screen as he tries to process waves of emotions in him. San waits in his seat quietly, even if his fingers tap away into processing permits and other papers, he worries for how Yeosang would take this. “I’ll let them know that I’ll be late today.” Yeosang states,already writing a message for you. 

Did San think he’d do anything different? Not quite. Even with the change of schedules, he knows how much Yeosang looks forward to seeing you everyday. He also knows how the man will do anything for those he loves. He can’t comprehend how he’s been able to have such self-control since their passing. He would always visit the tombstone of his lover up until the earth had decided to give birth to new life. 

[ Yeosang to You ] My dear, I’m afraid I won't be able to see you until after your closing hours. 

“San, can you get me the iced cafe latte along with a slice of their strawberry cheesecake?”  He would have to wait until night falls for him to catch sight of the flowers. He has feelings for you, that much he is sure. Whether or not you are who he thinks he is, how you’ve been towards him.

“Now?” San asks, rising from his seat and about to grab his jacket. 

“That would be nice, yes.” He says as he busies himself with an email, for the changes in the schedule for today. With that settled, San’s already off to your shop. 

---------

Just as San enters your shop, he’s amazed at the booming activity. All the tables were filled with various groups of people. He wondered what was so special about today. As he approached the counter, you had just finished packing up an order for takeout. While you seem to manage just fine on your own: taking orders and making drinks, it’s definitely not an easy task. 

“Today’s bustling I see.” San says as you immediately rush over after washing your hands. 

“San!” You exclaim, a little relieved for some sense of familiarity after the hectic peak hours. He sees your shoulders drop a little and he flashes a wide smile, glad to be of some relief to you. “Yeah, I asked some of the regulars what’s going on today and it seems like they have finals week coming up so everyone’s just been so busy with their studies.” You shrug as you explain. You were done with university so that aspect of those years are long behind you now. “Anyways, the usual?” 

“Not quite? Two iced cafe lattes, one slice of chocolate mousse and one slice of the strawberry cheesecake.” You nod and after the transaction’s made, you let him wait by the far end of the counter as you get to doing the coffee. 

He leans against the counter as he waits for his purchase. As time passes by, he looks around the place, watching regular humans go about their daily stresses. From the corner of his eye, he spots a familiar insignia on someone’s laptop. The owner’s hunched over, visibly lacking sleep as they seem to try beating their deadlines. He gazes at them for some time until he turns away, not wanting to think too much about it especially in front of all these people. 

“Here’s your order. I added some cookies as well, those are on the house.” You explain upon seeing his confused expression. He flashes a bashful smile in thanks. 

“Yeosang might come by later tonight.” He states. The sight of your flustered expression makes him smirk. “Has he already asked you to be his?” His light laugh rings in your ears and he stops teasing you. 

“Wooyoung might be here instead later. I have to run a few errands today.” You relay to him to which San acknowledges to send to Yeosang. Just feels like the old days. 

He should also probably relay to Yeosang the symbol he saw earlier. 

--------

“Yeosang, we need to--” San’s words are cut short when he’s greeted by the sponsors in their office. He sets aside the food bought from your shop and greets the visitors properly, throwing out any sense of concern in his body. 

“Ah yes, Mr. Choi just came back from an errand. Mr. Choi, I would like you to meet the representatives of the Museum of Ancient Art. I’m sure you’ve talked with them through the emails?” Yeosang says, voice going a little deeper as it usually does in front of formal visitors. If they weren’t in front of him, he would’ve laughed at how Yeosang still tries his best to assert himself. An eons old god, still trying to assert himself, if Yeosang only knew how much respect and intimidation he exudes. 

San approaches the two that he has constantly talked with through their online exchanges, relieved to have faces to their names. That’s right, he remembers now. A meeting with the Museum of Ancient Art to see which collections they can exchange with and how to promote each other in their respective areas. He just hopes this meeting ends as soon as possible because he finally recognizes the insignia from earlier. 

--------

The meeting lasts for two hours. Thankfully, it was a meeting that wasn’t the type that could’ve just been over email. The four of them rise from their seats, delighted to have finished a fruitful meeting on time. After San walks them out of the building, he hurries back in, and already Yeosang’s eating his slice of cake with his coffee. 

“We have no other meeting after that right?” San says as he brings his share to his table, leaning against his seat after such a tiring discussion-- not even a museum tour for students had worn him out that much. 

“None, so we will be here until after closing to check on the discussed flower.” Yeosang after sipping his coffee. “There was something you wanted to tell me, yes?” 

This gets San back into business mode, stern lines on his face as he faces Yeosang who busies himself with his cake. “Yeah, I saw someone in their shop, with the same insignia as the one that did a break in a few weeks back.” 

Yeosang’s eyes are on his coffee and half eaten cake as he listens to San’s encounter. This doesn’t feel right. Once he catches a glimpse of the flower, he’ll rush over to your shop. “I’ll drop by their shop afterwards.” He simply says. 

San takes the chance to look at his companion carefully. Behind the calm eyes already a storm rages, there’s tension in his neck and arms. If he’s right, then it’s only a matter of time. 

“We’ll discuss this at my place after tonight’s activities.” He simply ends the conversation there, taking another bite of his cake. 

“We’re still visiting their shop after?” It was a bit of a surprise for San to hear Yeosang wanting to go out of his way. Then again, why was San even surprised by anything anymore. This is Yeosang, he’s talking to. Also, with what San saw, archons know just how much turmoil there is inside Yeosang.

“If it’s possible, yes.” Yeosang closes his eyes as he drinks his latte. That’s enough for San to know to leave Yeosang to the privacy of his thoughts. Now all that’s left to do is wait until closing time. 

As San looks away from him, he shifts his view to his computer, then to his phone. It’s a little odd that you haven’t replied to his messages. Despite his calm facade, he’s stressed. If his assumptions are right, you’re being targeted, for reasons that are yet unknown to him. 

[ Yeosang to Wooyoung ] Are you working in the shop right now? 

[ Wooyoung to Yeosang ] on my way to the shop! Need me to prepare an order for you guys?

He stops for a moment, wondering the proper wording to make sure Wooyoung doesn’t panic as much as he is right now. 

[ Yeosang to Wooyoung ] Maybe later should San and I make it after today’s itinerary. I was simply wondering since they haven’t replied to me today. 

He stares at his phone screen for another moment. 

[ Yeosang to Wooyoung ] We’ll let you know. 

He has thirty more minutes before the museum is deserted. For now, he’ll make the most out of his cake. He’s not quite sure anymore if peace will last long from now on. 

--------

San takes the lead tonight. He asks one of the security guards to direct him and Yeosang to where in the garden was this strange flower located. Yeosang follows the male a few steps behind. His hands hidden in the pockets of his coat, he doesn’t want anyone to see just how tense he was. 

“It was spotted in this area, sir. The smell leads you to the plant.” The security guard informs them as he gestures to the general area.

San nods, taking note of his advice, already he catches a waft of the scent. He doesn’t need to look at Yeosang to know how on edge he was. “We can manage on our own from here. Thanks.” San promises, as he dismisses the guard, to return to his duty. As the security guard leaves the two alone, he glances at Yeosang. “Do you want to be alone?” The archon shakes his head. He sniffs the air for a moment. The scent takes him back to the memories of eons past. Simpler times, he assumes. 

From there, the two of them follow the scent. It’s a sharp contrast from all the turpentine and antique materials they’ve been exposed to since the museum was built. In today’s standards, the Neve Jewel would remind the regular people of an untouched field in the mountains. Though it is similar to lavender, it is still something that would even make those who love the said herb doubt that it is lavender that they’re smelling. 

From there, they see a faint glow against the dim lighting in the garden. A soft glow of cool blues bounce onto the ground from where the flower resides. San sits by the bench across the flower as Yeosang approaches the plant. 

It’s just like how he remembers it, just like the painting he showed you. It’s still the same after all these years. Yeosang hears nothing but the rush of blood in his ears. He’s too scared to touch the flower, fearing that it would be reduced to nothing-- that this would just be a sick dream his mind conjured. 

“It’s real, Yeosang.” San says softly, as he watches his friend gaze at the flower in disbelief. 

Yeosang snaps out of his thoughts and stands up. “I think I got all the proof I need.” He says softly. He stretches his legs, now reaching his full height. “Let’s go visit the shop.” 

--------

Yeosang parks his car a few steps away from your shop. The warm glow from the lights lets him hope that you’re still inside. He and San enter the shop, only to be greeted by Wooyoung mopping up the floor. “Oh, thought the two of you wouldn’t come. Want the usual?” He asks, the surprised look on their faces doesn’t slip by him. “Looking for Popsicle?'' Wooyoung asks, leaning his hand against the top of the mop.

“Popsicle..” San repeats, thoroughly confused but Yeosang catches his reference fairly quickly. 

“Didn’t think you’d give them that nickname.” He muses, already handing his card to Wooyoung who is already making his way to the counter. 

“Man, they call me Sparky, it’s even.” Wooyoung counters. He didn’t really think he’d reveal himself like that but alas, it’s been done. 

“Creative nicknames.” San comments, amusement in his tone. 

“Happens to the best of us.” With that, Wooyoung busies himself whipping up their orders. “Popsicle left early for personal errands and to try out some personal recipes, to see if they can add it to the seasonal menu.” He explains above the whirring of the coffee machine. “Also, apparently it was a busy day so they weren’t able to reply to any of our messages.”

Yeosang, unaware of some of the changes, inevitably trips against a potted plant. From the sudden cold feeling against his leg, Wooyoung probably had watered this just a few minutes ago. His resigned sigh catches San’s attention and notices his trousers have been, quite literally, soiled. “Uhhh, Wooyoung?” San calls out, a little concerned for the cleanliness of his peer’s outfit and the shop’s. 

“What-- Oh.” Wooyoung sees the mess and Yeosang says nothing but an apologetic bow. “I can clean it up once it dries up. Cleaning up wet soil just makes a bigger mess.” He points out. Unfortunately for him, this means staying in the shop longer when he can be in his bed, underneath his comfy blankets. 

“I can be of assistance.” The archon speaks up. San looks at his friend in alarm, hoping that he won’t give away what he really is but he pays him no heed. Wooyoung eyes him in confusion. 

With a flick of his wrist, his watch extends into a double ended scythes, his reflexes this time faster than earlier. He dips the edge of the blade against the spilled mud then against his pants, making sure to not nick at the fabric. The water from the damp dirt envelops the blade quickly, turning from an opaque brown color to clear and clean water. 

He lifts one end of the scythe from his pants and tips into the pot, the water dripping in as carefully as possible. Once successful, he taps the end of the scythe’s pole against the ground and immediately returns to a watch. 

Wooyoung watches the entire scene, speechless and confused by the entire spectacle-- though more of the fact Yeosang knows how to wield a scythe. “Does San know how to use a weapon too?” This wasn’t what he was supposed to ask but it will do for now.

“Just a sword staff.” San returns in equal nonchalance as Yeosang, in hopes that it wouldn’t make Wooyoung lose his mind. Instead though, Wooyoung lets out a low whistle, impressed at the two’s experience of handling rare weapons-- well he assumed they were rare. For he went with a great sword while you were something along the lines of a mage. To be honest, you didn’t really know how to describe your choice either. 

“Okay but, Yeosang, your pants are dirty and you used the blade against the fabric. Aren’t they expensive?” Wooyoung’s not entirely sure at this point of how to remedy the situation, one foot already at the direction of the broom to clean up the now dried soil. He’s not entirely shocked that Yeosang knows how to deal with water, his hydro vision hangs by his waist. He was more shocked with the scythe and the possibly damaged clothes. How he did that so willingly, maybe it’s the perk of being rich. 

Yeosang waves his hand dismissively about his concern. “Nothing to worry about. I know someone who can clean this without sacrificing the quality. To ease your wary heart, I barely touched the blade against the pant leg. It’s still perfectly fine.” 

Of course, he’d know someone. The rich always do. 

“What brand are you even wearing?” 

“Cucinelli.” 

With that mentioned, Wooyoung stands up and leaves the two for a moment. The abrupt exit leaves the two surprised and concerned. He returns with a broom in hand, cleaning up the soil and putting it back into the pot. The brand name alone tells him everything he needs to know about how much the pants were. “Is it really that expensive?” Yeosang asks, a little surprised by Wooyoung’s sudden lack of response. 

He doesn’t answer for a moment. “It’s enough to cover rent for a few months yeah.” 

This makes the archon ponder for a moment. Truly there were things that he forgets from time to time about the differences in the lives of humans. 

---------

For the next hour the two of them fill in Wooyoung on what has happened in their day, when all of a sudden Yeosang perks up in alarm. 

Yeosang looks around, can never be too careful after all. “Did you see anyone with a symbol that depicts three intertwined knots?” Wooyoung just gives him a perplexed look. WIth the amount of people Wooyoung sees on the daily, it was rare that any of them would stand out to him. It was easier to spot people who stand out in a studio than in a coffee shop. 

“Huh? Maybe our Popsicle did but I don’t remember seeing anything like that, why?” 

This time, he wasn’t sure if he should be concerned or not. The things the two have talked about, especially in the art scene, doesn't faze him anymore. For all he knows, the insignia they’re asking about is an anonymous artist they want to work with.

San shakes his head. “Just a hunch about something. One of these days, we can tell you but for now, we need to go home. It’s late.” San reminds them as he glances at the time. 

By now, Wooyoung was already finished cleaning everything up. The paper and plastic packaging for their orders were in their hands and it’s on them to throw it. His reasoning? He already worked hard to keep this place clean and he’s stayed beyond work hours to wait for them just like you’d always do. 

Now that the lights were closed and the doors were locked with ample protection by Wooyoung, San looks around and sees an odd being a few feet away. “Yeosang.” He murmurs softly, eyes flitting towards the direction he needs to face. The amulet in his pocket feels a little heavier.

Across the street stood the members from the Abyss Order, their eyes glinting in the dark with a plan that would put Wooyoung in danger should they not act quickly. “Wooyoung, I need you to get in the car now. I’ll drive you home.” Yeosang orders, tryinggnn his best not to sound on edge to not scare the guy. Usually, he and San can take care of these members without anyone around them becoming collateral damage. He’s not sure either if Wooyoung has his sword with him. 

 “What? Nah, it’s okay. I can just walk or get a taxi.” Wooyoung reassures, standing up twirling the keys in his fingers. 

“Wooyoung, it’s an ord--” Before Yeosang could complete his sentence, San already has his sword staff up, creating a sturdy shield to block out the bullets that were fired at them. The boom and the lack of sound from impact makes Wooyoung look over immediately. San’s weapon stands at a roughly twelve feet tall pole alone, add the sword and it could have been eighteen feet in length. The human’s not quite sure as to how that happened but questions might be better put for later. 

“Ah shit.” Your friend mutters, unclasping his bracelet and already it shifts into a greatsword, taking up a length of six feet easily. “I don’t know what they are but they are not damaging this shop.” What’s scarier: these unknown threats or you screaming? 

He manages to block a few of the projectiles coming their way,much to the shock of the two immortals. “Got any plan? Preferably something that makes sure this shop is unscathed?” Wooyoung growls, returning the projectiles, with much more strength towards the perpetrators. This time, the heated projectiles combined with his element, exploding upon impact. His vision glows a sharp purple as he continues to use his element. 

Yeosang looks around, trying to figure out a plan. “Watch my back” He simply says. Immediately, San shifts to take his usual position behind the archon. Wooyoung on the other hand, still throws damage against the strange figures. “Wooyoung, keep exposing them to electricity.” 

The human grunts in acknowledgement, slightly frustrated that he can’t move around freely as he has to make sure the shop takes no damage. San jumps into action,using the bladed end of his staff to take out what seems to be a burly figure wielding an electro hammer who was lunging straight towards Yeosang. It doesn’t take much to know that the figure’s near gone with how hard it staggers back from the impact. 

Yeosang spins his scythe, and the blades start to get enveloped by water. As he swings his scythe, blades of water hone in on the figures, knocking them back upon impact and damaging their own weapons. This gives enough time for San to push forward and drive his staff down onto them: pinning them against a sudden burst of wind currents. The pressure making it hard for them to wriggle out of, yet they twitch insistently from the exposure to electricity and water. “Leave if you want to see another day.” Yeosang warns in a strange voice. Wooyoung’s not sure if his goosebumps are from the static on his sword or from the change in Yeosang’s attitude. 

The men-- from what Wooyoung can only presume, submit to his order, speaking of promises to not return to the area and other words that he can only assume were pleas of mercy. 

“Whoever sent you here, tell them of my regards.” Yeosang growls. He doesn’t need to lean forward to look them in the eye. From where he stands, waves of his power come off him slowly. Something in Wooyoung runs cold when he sees his eyes and the tips of his hair glow an intense blue-- a blue that reminds him of the deepest trenches in the ocean, as he restrains their movements even further with water. 

When the promises are made, San makes sure to look each perpetrator in the eye, memorizing their faces and features for the future. They can never tell when the tide changes. The male then loosens his restraints on the men, despite the blood and bruises they have he lets them go. Though personally, he would’ve sliced them into ribbons for coming into this part of the neighborhood. 

Once the three have scrambled away from them, Yeosang heaves a sigh. It’s been a little too long since he had tapped into his archaic abilities. He carefully switches his scythe back into a watch, clasping it around his wrist. Once it’s snug around his wrist, he checks the time. Past midnight. What a tiring day. San heaves a tired groan, tapping the end of his staff against the ground and it becomes a weaved ring on his pointer again. The archon walks to his car, unfortunately with a few dents and scratches. It will be a matter to be taken cared of for another day, for now: safety.

“Get in the car.” He has already put up a protective layer of water against your shop, making sure that any damage against your shop would be minimized. The three figures have already retreated but to leave Wooyoung alone would be a death wish. Wooyoung scratches his thumb against the base of his sword and it turns immediately into his bracelet. He makes sure everything else is clear then hops into the car, swinging the door shut as Yeosang steps on the gas. 

“Who were they?” Wooyoung exclaims as he falls back into his seat with an exhausted whine. His clothes were definitely a mess and the adrenaline’s starting to wear off “Shit, Popsicle.” He worries for your safety, especially after tonight’s run-in. He’s not sure if you’ll be able to fend for yourself on your own. 

“San will take care of them. It’s too dangerous for us to go get them right now.” He promises yet the edge in his voice doesn’t leave. He knows who they were but why they were there is what’s making him grip the steering wheel harder than he should. “Yeosang.” San’s voice immediately reminds him to breathe. “To answer your question, the ones we fought earlier are from the Abyss Order. They haven’t been making their presence known in years.” 

“So why now?” 

“We don’t know.” San replies in place for Yeosang. “That’s why we asked if you saw a three intertwined knot insignia earlier because I saw something when I went in during their shift.” The rest of the drive is quiet. The car slows down to an acceptable speed to avoid any road blocks along the way. 

“You’re staying the night in my place for now.” Yeosang explains much to Wooyoung’s shock. “It’s not safe for you to go back yet. Not until tomorrow morning at least. San will pick them up. He knows his ways around the roads here.” He continues, as he slowly parks his car in the complex’s parking lot. 

Wooyoung explains to San where the two of you live and San already has a mental image of it. “Any landmark?”

“A convenience store right next to a grandmother’s ramen shop.” 

“Okay, I’ll see you guys later.” San then jumps out of the car and onto the scaffoldings of the buildings.

Wait, this is where Yeosang stays? Wooyoung looks around the area: the cars look timeless, expensive as well. On the ground seems to be the numbers of the respective owner’s place. He shuts off the engine and unlocks the doors. “Tell them to bring what they need for the next few hours. I have a lot to explain.” 

---------

That’s how Wooyoung ended up staying in Yeosang’s place for the night. Yeosang cooks up a simple pasta for them, knowing that even San will sleep over for the night. Wooyoung offered to help but Yeosang had been stubborn enough to make him sit down and drink his tea after updating you with what had happened. 

The needed conversation had to happen with you around so to kill time, both men decided to know the other a little more beyond the coffee shop and art museum. 

“... I basically got my vision after realizing what I wanted to do with my life.” Wooyoung explains. It happened after having a conversation with you in high school. “We were fighting about whether or not I should try for the competition despite my injuries..” Go figure. He went all in for it, of course with your help to keep him grounded but it would seldom work as he tunnel visioned into his goal. The difference between your two favoured medium is in the longevity of the works. He accepted that dancing is one of the shortest living works. Three minutes on stage is different from three minutes through a screen. Yet, there he was wanting to make his name known for years to come despite the short lifespan of dance. “It was when I told little Ice Cube about it that my vision formed in my pocket.” 

“I did get my name out there, once we started studying in university.” He continues. “I rose up the dance crew quickly. Things are always different in real life as compared to recorded performances, yet there’s always something beyond as they would say.” He shrugs, trying his best to not sound like he’s bragging. “Now here I am, teaching some idols choreography while teaching passionate dancers in a studio with a part time in your shop.”

This makes Yeosang mull for a bit. He’s met the Electro Archon, with Wooyoung’s story it did fall in line with the Archon’s belief and virtue: to go beyond what Time can limit. It took a few thousand years to remind the mentioned Archon of their humanity though. Fortunately, they have thus the influx of electro users in the succeeding years. He wonders then, when did you get yours? The archon does not want to pry yet curiosity pesters his mind. “I’m assuming that they have gotten their vision prior to yours then?” 

The mortal looks at him with wide eyes. “They never told you how they got the cryo vision huh?” Wooyoung notes as he takes his time to study Yeosang’s place.. Yeosang busies himself by making himself a cup of tea, while Wooyoung an americano. He knows his skills in creating coffee would be sub-par compared to yours but for now, it will do for him. 

“I’m afraid not, though I am aware of the similarities of the lives led by cryo users.” Yeosang returns as he hands the mug to the other male. Each Archon hands a human or an adepti with a vision, usually done when the subject of interest has reached a point in their life that exhibits values worthy of their attention. For the Pyro archon, it would be due to the passion one carries despite all odds. For Yeosang, the hydro vision is gifted when the human exhibits the desire to better themselves. The Cryo archon was an oddball even after the changes, for those who receive the cryo vision are those who have gone through a certain loss that changes them in the long run. As if to help them survive what the world has done to them.

What did you lose? 

Wooyoung eyes the coffee in his hands with worry. Your story is not his story to share, but he can share parts of it from his eyes. “They started living with my family at a young age.” He starts. “It took them awhile to warm up to the family but no one forced the lil Popsicle to be happy.” The dazed wary look you would give his parents pained him even until now. “Despite that, they’ve been deadly protective of our parents and brothers. You were always willing to fight any one that tried to bully me or any of our other classmates.” He says with a soft laugh. Yeosang listens intently, the mere image of you, a small child, willing to protect those who were suffering, it would’ve been a sight to see. Wooyoung takes a careful sip, making sure to not burn his tongue. “Their family was known for their ventures in history, usually through art and any written records.” Wooyoung adds, looking up at the male across from him. There’s something in him that tells him that Yeosang isn’t any regular vision holder. “Can I ask something?” 

The question surprises the archon slightly but he gestures for Wooyoung to continue. He supposes that not everything can be told from another pair of eyes, best to be told by someone who has seen it all. 

“You’re not a regular human are you?” Wooyoung’s question makes him chuckle. 

“What made you ask?” Yeosang starts, eyeing the human with curiosity. 

“For starters, no one’s hair glows at the tips.” Wooyoung points out, tipping his head towards the fringe that frames his face. “Nor should the eyes” he adds, referring to the run in earlier. He doesn’t add the words Yeosang spoke of, thinking it could be twisted easily into his favor. “Also, this amount of money cannot be amassed in such a short year unless you’re from a rich family.” In the back of his mind, he was already making a plan of how to escape and warn you should this become a worst case scenario. He was about to list more before Yeosang cracks up. 

“Well, yes. You are correct. I am not.. A human entirely.” Though he does plan to live like one after this. 

“But you’re not.. An adepti either then? You don’t look like Ganyu.” Wooyoung points out. At least that removes the possibility of him being associated with the bad guys. What memories that name brings him. It’s been a long time since he’s heard from Ganyu. The last he’s seen her, she could pass off as a woman in her early fourties if it weren’t for the ruby horns that curled upwards from her head. Maybe he should pay her a visit in the near future. 

“An adepti can take on a form like Ganyu yes, but there are also adepti that can take on the forms of animals or look like regular humans. My dear friend San, is an adepti as well.” Yeosang counters calmly as he sips his tea. “Now, I trust their judgement, you are a trustworthy human, especially to have the electro vision. Dear Wooyoung,” he starts. The ways of proving that he was the archon without annihilating an entire area is usually limited for a human’s mind can be picky. He lets his eyes turn into wide saucers, too wide to be considered human, and for his skin acquires scales like that of a dragon. Wooyoung’s reaction tells him enough and he reverts himself back to that of a human. 

“You’re the hydro archon.” Wooyoung sputters out. 

“That is correct.” Yeosang nods calmly.

“Can I swear?” 

“Carry on.” 

“Holy shit.”

--------

The way San entered your apartment as well was enough to scare you for the next three days or so. He doesn’t tell you much, even in the safety of your own home. Only a “Let’s go. We’ll explain somewhere safer.” By then, you already had your things ready and kept everything in place. Your vision is securely strapped around your waist while your Regalia is on your wrist. 

You arrive in one piece thanks to San. He had you running through small roads and hidden spots around the city, to avoid prying eyes and wandering ears from seeing the two of you. 

At first glance, you assume that this was another regular apartment complex that maybe you staying at home was the better option. But when you enter the lobby, the smell alone tells you this more than a regular building. There’s a receptionist with three guards around the place, the pristine interiors softened by the warm lighting. You feel out of place in your regular sweats and hoodie, San on the other hand might be in a worse position. A wrinkled jacket, dress shirt that’s been dirty with his tie loosened, his shoes lost their luster and his hair was in slight disarray. A rare sight indeed. 

“Let’s go. They won’t mind you anyways as long as you’re with me.” San reassures you, sensing your discomfort when the staff pass a glance at you. He walks with you to the elevator and once the two of you are in the small box, he heaves a sigh of relief and exhaustion, leaning against the wall for some sense of support. 

“What exactly happened, San?” You ask. The concern in your voice makes him look over at you and for a moment, he thought he saw the previous archon in you. No wonder Yeosang’s been hung up about you. Yet, once he comes to his senses, it’s just the same you. A regular human who carries the cryo vision, yet he could also see why Yeosang would like you regardless of your potential history. 

The rising elevator makes your ears pop, thankfully you manage to hear him say, “We’ll talk about it in Yeosang’s place. Wooyoung’s there as well.” He repeats. There’s no hint of unperceived danger in his voice yet it puts you on the edge. 

The lift rings, notifying them of their arrival. He gestures for you to walk ahead of him, mostly out of your own safety to make sure nothing comes running at you from behind. “2411” The man behind you says, and so you look for the number. It’s deep into the hallway when you finally see his place. San takes the chance to knock on the door thrice, and without missing a beat, it’s Wooyoung that greets the two of you-- slightly worse for wear but nothing you can’t fix. 

He sighs in relief, seeing you in one piece along with San and he lets the two of you in. “I brought your stuff.” You say, handing his duffle bag to him and he manages to let out a sound of relief.

“Yeosang! I’ll go ahead and shower!” He calls out, leaving you and San alone with him. The way Wooyoung has become so casual and comfortable with him doesn’t surprise you anymore. 

San takes up the stool Wooyoung left, you sitting next to him as you try to make sense of his apartment. The wide view of the skyline from wall to wall in the living room was enough to make your head swim with a fear of heights. The colors were on the whites and browns with the occasional accent of black. His kitchen didn’t really help quell your curiosity of just how rich he was. It’s only now that Wooyoung’s words were settling into your head. He’s rich and if your guess is right, he’s probably part of the 0.5% of society. There is no way he can pay for the upkeep of this apartment easily unless he was part of that aspect of society. 

Your eyes return to him as he serves the two of you some of the pasta he had made earlier. “Eat while it’s still hot.” He says for now. San doesn’t mind your questioning gaze on his friend but Yeosang tries not to cave in. Not yet. “I will explain everything once everyone’s cleaned up. It will be a long night for you and Wooyoung especially.” He leaves no room for arguments, and it takes a moment for the archon to realize that he’s using his business voice again. He rubs the back of his neck, albeit uncharacteristic of him as he tried to assert his calm nature just moments ago. “I will take a shower for now, don’t rush your meal for tonight.” Thus leaving the two of you on your own. 

---------

The water runs hot against his skin but the temperature doesn't faze him, steam has already coated the mirrors and the glass tiles. He just stares blankly at the murky rivulets that run down his body and to the drain. Questions still ring in his head as to what could’ve happened, why did it happen, and what had happened. You’d think an aged archon such as he could see the answers easily, yet there’s one thing he can never get right. Humans and their “sense” of logic, the claimed hardest to sway yet here he is wondering why things went the way they did with the adrenaline from the battle wearing off as the hot water relaxes his muscles. 

What was in the store that the Abyss Order thought was of importance? Was it you? 

As much as he loves being with water, he hates how it would remind him of many memories he tries to push away they still come back. Ironic really how water always is in motion, yet he can’t seem to just move on from what has happened years back. He snaps out of his thoughts and finishes washing up for the night, his dirty clothes tossed into the hamper as he changes into his sleep wear for the night. 

One day, the memories won’t hurt anymore. For now, he lets them hurt until the pain ebbs away. He lets himself mourn the pain for a few moments before coming back to reality. He can’t let himself mourn more than needed, there are things he needs to attend to first. 

When he comes back to the kitchen, it’s Wooyoung who is now keeping you company and from the looks of things, he was filling you in on what had happened to the best of his ability. 

“Really,” you sigh, drying your plate as you eye him with concern. “Thank goodness, you had your bracelet on you today. Let me check you for injuries.” You chastise him, not taking a no for an answer as you give his body a quick scan. 

“Ice cube, I think you should be checking on San and Yeosang-- Ow!” He yelps, when he feels your hand press on his shoulder. 

“Did you handle your sword the wrong way again?” You ask, spreading a thin layer of ice on his skin, akin to a muscle relaxant strip. 

The way you know him so well makes him pout. “Maybe..” He mutters, he waits for an earful that never comes. Instead, your attention shifted to Yeosang who has been watching the two of you bicker for what could’ve been this entire time. 

“Oh hey, Yeosang. I was telling them what had happened earlier, well at least the ones I understand.” He changed his seat so that Yeosang could sit next to you. 

Little shit. 

“You didn’t have to clean up.” He says, thanking Wooyoung for the seat. He doesn’t stop you though, you were practically finished with the job anyways. 

“It’s fine. It’s the least I can do. San went to clean himself up a few minutes ago.” You take your seat after cleaning up the dishes, you don’t miss the chance to shoot Wooyoung a glare at his motive though. 

“Then he’ll most likely return in ten minutes. Wooyoung, what have you told them thus far? Just so San and I can fill them in on any questions they might have.” 

“Mostly the fight, what the guys looked like, and your weapons.” He says, a little too enthusiastically thus causing the two of you to look at him with raised eyebrows. “What? It’s not everyday you see a double ended scythe and a sword staff three times taller than San.” 

“I heard that.” A pointed voice comes out from behind the. It was San, fresh out of the shower with an empty look of annoyance on his face. 

“Well, now that we’re here. I suppose we can get started.” 

The four of you take comfort in the living room as this could be a very long discussion. Well, to be specific, it’s only San that manages to find comfort on the couch, lounging on one side like a lazy cat while you and Wooyoung are still in shock over the quality of the place alone. The two of you sit carefully on the couch, Yeosang decides to sit across the two of you. The archon already seems burdened, wondering how else to go about this. 

“For starters,” San suggests. “I think it would be a good idea to tell you that I saw someone at your shop with the insignia on their laptop. It’s safe to guess that they’re part of the Abyss Order.” 

You look at him in confusion. The name rings faint bells but not quite what you were looking for. “The what?” You ask, shifting your glance to Yeosang. The immortals wonder if they saw a spark of fear flash before your eyes as you try to make sense of the situation. 

“The Abyss Order, my dear, they’re a long running organization. They started from wanting to topple Celestia, to wanting to take down the Archons.” It was the simplest way Yeosang could put it. The complete run down of history could take longer than a night and he doubts you and Wooyoung could take so much information within a short period of time. “Their insignia has changed over time. They work in the shadows, feeding opposing ideas to humans in subtle ways that reach the communal consciousness.” There have been certain forms of media that have come out that romanticize questionable lifestyles and choices, that only a handful can tell the Abyss had a hand in them.

“So why were they at my shop? I’m just a regular human trying to make ends meet and make my dreams come true” You say. 

“Regular my butt. Ice Cube, we have visions, I don’t really think we’re regular.” Wooyoung snorts. He has a point, vision carriers weren’t that common. “But that is a good question.” He says after a jab to his side thanks to you. 

Yeosang cups his chin in thought. “My guess is because of San and I.” He returns calmly. “Well, to be exact, me.” 

Wooyoung’s head starts to work into overdrive. “Wait, right.” He cuts his own words off, groaning into his hands. San starts to find his own nails interesting as the conversation shifts to this. Unfortunately you were still unable to make sense out of everything. How could you, your night went from San telling you to pack up, to running through unknown streets, to seeing the three of them in a slightly worse for wear situation to a multimillion apartment.

“Can someone please explain?” You plead, your patience running thin. You don’t like being kept in the dark. You don’t like the familiar feeling of frustration and powerless feeling it brings. 

“My dear, I don’t know how else to say this but I, Kang Yeosang, am the Hydro Archon.” As he reveals this, his eyes glow into the colors of the ocean, with his pupils widening more than normal,  streaks of ice blue against a deeper blue green hue. If you look any closer, you might be able to see hints of white, just like sea foam in his eyes. His skin forms patches of scales on his forearms, but the metamorphosis stops there. He’d rather not turn into full form and cause property damage. “I’ve been the one responsible for giving Hydro visions for as long as I can remember.” He manages to rasp out, his voice now rather hoarse due to the partial transformation.  

Your eyes grow wide, somehow this makes sense and at the same time it doesn’t. This explains his extensive knowledge of history yet at the same time, it’s a struggle to wrap your mind around the mere fact you’ve been catching feelings for an immortal being. Of all beings to fall for, it had to be the Archon. It couldn’t have been someone like Wooyoung but then again, do you really want that?

“He wields a double scythe by the way.” Wooyoung comments under his breath. That part, you can take in stride, your best friend handles a great sword while you used something akin to a floating orb. 

“But wait, you said initially, this Abyss Order’s targets were you and San. Is San an Archon too?” You ask. If he was the Anemo Archon, you might have to cut this discussion short-- it’s been a hectic and eventful day.

“I was offered, but I turned it down.” San says with a shrug. “I prefer just being something like a guardian of a region rather than overseeing the entire world.” He doesn’t continue the story and instead stretches his body out like a cat lazing under the sun.

Yeosang slowly transforms back into that of a regular human. “That’s as far as my guess goes, that I’m the primary target. Anything else is unfortunately beyond my knowledge.” He hasn’t kept in contact with the other archons either so it’s anyone’s guess at this point.

“So what now?” You ask. “I really can’t just stay at my shop 24/7. Wooyoung can’t either, besides the shop, he works at a dance studio too, remember?” 

Yeosang stays silent for a while, thinking through possible remedies for the time being. “Would an additional hand suffice?” 

“I’m not hiring you or San into my shop. I don’t think the salary I can give either of you could compare to the salary in an art museum.” 

“Oh no, not me. The art museum needs San and I to continue running.” He shakes his head. It was a lovely idea though, a nice change from the constant stress of files and intensive care. “I know someone who might be able to help, he’s just like San.” San looks over at Yeosang with a raised brow, raising his head from his arm to get a better view of his friend. 

“I mean, if he’s a friend of yours and is aware that I can’t give a salary as high as you can then I don’t think I can turn down the offer.” 

“Then it’s settled then. I’ll contact Hongjoong tonight to give him the details. If things go as planned, he will be able to meet you tomorrow afternoon.” 

“Oh right, Yeosang put up some sort of protective barrier for the night that spans until early afternoon I think? So more time for us to rest and catch up on sleep.” Wooyoung explains upon seeing your panicked face at the ‘tomorrow afternoon’ part. “So I guess, that’s it for tonight?” Wooyoung asks in a hopeful tone, trying to stifle a yawn with his hands. 

The immortals remember the limitations of humans and thus decide to end the discussion here. “Yes, we can continue this some other time. For the sake of your safety, feel free to come to the art museum. I’ll let the staff know of you to let you through easily. For now, it is better for the two of you to get some rest.” 

San sends him a look, realizing that he had omitted a certain topic out of the discussion. At the mention of rest, you start to feel the exhaustion seep into your bones. Your eyes feel heavy now as Wooyoung’s yawn reminds you of how eventful the day was for both of you. “I’ll lead them to their room.” San offers, much to Yeosang’s relief as he couldn’t handle what San might want to discuss once the two were off to rest. 

Yeosang switches the lights off, bathing the room in darkness and night lights once more. The hallway was dimly lit, making sure that none of his visitors bumped themselves to their slumber. He asks himself why he veered away from the topic of you being a potential interest by the Abyss Order. He wasn’t happy with the answer but it’s the only one he’s got.

He doesn’t want history to repeat itself, yet he knows that those who don’t know it are doomed to repeat it. Even with these worries, he can’t get himself to look at the amulet that rests by his bed side.

--------

Something inside you starts turning. “San, do you remember what the symbol looks like?” You ask carefully, voice barely above a whisper. For Wooyoung’s sake, you didn’t want him to hear this conversation. 

His eyes glance at you after watching Wooyoung flop over the bed. It’s only now that you notice the green streaks in his eyes. “Of course, something wrong?” 

“Can you draw it and send it to me over chat?” You don’t answer his question. “Also, do you have any injuries?” Until you have some sort of confirmation, you won’t divulge any information to him. 

San raises his knee as an answer. “Scraped myself when I had to pin the Abyss members down but nothing too worrisome.” 

“Can I at least fix it? I wasn’t able to ask Yeosang either of his injuries.” San remembers that you were more adept at healing, you can still pack a punch but you preferred to stay at the back. For both of your peace, he enters the room and lets you check on his injuries. 

At least the wound has been cleaned but it’s still very fresh. “This isn’t just a scrape, San.” There’s something in your tone that makes San shrink back like a child. Wooyoung peeks over, your concern catching his attention. 

“That looks pretty bad.” Wooyoung comments much to San’s embarrassment. Never did the guardian expect a human to chide him like a parent-- not even Yeosang did that. 

“It’s not that--” San’s words are cut off by the jolt in temperature. The sharp cold stings against his wound-- maybe he didn’t disinfect it enough. He hears you murmur words of what he can only assume were spells. The intense drop in temperature made his leg stiffen from the sensation, but it was gone as quick as it happened. The guardian looks at his legs and already it was new skin, as if the wounds never even happened and he had just decided to do an exfoliation. “Makes me wonder how you’d be in a fight.” He muses his thanks, running his fingers gently against his healed knee. 

“Please don’t. I might just be the type to cry while fighting.” You plead, much to Wooyoung’s amusement. 

The immortal chuckles at the image, for the most part it is endearing but he tries not to wear down the light conversation with the more realistic thoughts in his head. San stands up and heads towards the door. “Good night you two, the next few days might be a little hectic for the four of us.”

Part 4

[cirrius-akiyo]

YOU ARE MADE OF STARDUST

(Part 1/?)

Evan: I'm craving for cheesecake. I'm going out to get some. Do you want any?

Eddie is helping Hen stocking up the ambulance after their last call depleted 'em dry when the notification came in. His eyebrows shot up after reading the message. 

 Eddie: You know you are not allowed to drive yet. I'll get you some later. 

Evan: :( But the doctor said I'm clear for light activities. I'm driving. Not running there. :<

Eddie: Which is still a bad idea with your condition. 

Evan: But I'm dying for a cheesecake. How could you. :( 

Eddie: You will not die from a cheesecake craving.

Evan: Meanie. I'll have the bed for myself tonight. >:(

 

Eddie can't help but to let his eyes roll so far, he thinks he saw his brain back there. He can actually hears how Buck is huffing in displeasure right now, looking like a kicked giant golden-retriever. He knows Buck is joking with the "d" word, but after experiencing how near death is always lurking around, the word just send shudders to his spine. 

He can hear Hen snorts in amusement beside him. "Already looking for trouble, that husband of yours?" Hen teases in mirth. 

Eddie just shakes his head in resignation. "According to him, he's dying for a cheesecake and wanted to drive out to get some. And now I'm the bad person for not allowing him to." Eddie rants, hands swinging around to make his point.

Eddie understands the house rests are driving Buck crazy. Not allowed to do everything he usually does himself must be frustrating. If anything, Eddie is actually proud with his husband for not throwing much tantrum in the course of his healing. Eddie's eyes proceed to linger on his phone's wallpaper, the recent image of Buck and Chris snuggled in their blanket fort acts as a reminder for him that Buck is still here. 

Hen, blessed the patron of observance that she is, notices how Eddie's facial expression suddenly falls. She gingerly moves closer to Eddie, patting his back in an consoling motion. "Eddie. Buck is okay. Little scratch there, but he is fine." Hen enunciates to Eddie slowly, like she usually would when comforting the distressed victims during calls. 

That makes the wall Eddie has build so thick and high crumbling down. 

"But he almost not be." Eddie chokes on tears. "He almost leave us, Hen. Buck almost died." Eddie swallows the bitter taste on his tongue. Oh God. Saying that out loud just make the whole ordeal more concrete. More tangible than Eddie had previously perceived. He was in a state of constant obscurity after the doctor delivered the news when Buck was admitted to the hospital. Feeling like the color of the world seeped out from the corner of his eyes, leaving only grayish fog in his view. 

Hen is now hugging Eddie, letting him to cry out his burden away. "Hey now. It's okay. Everything will be just fine."

"But what if it's not? I kissed another woman on the night before he collapsed, Hen." Eddie admits. He never tell anybody about that night, too ashamed of himself. But also afraid of the judgment that may come with it. 

Hen stalled. Her face morphes in confusion.

"But isn't that the night of the parents-teachers conference?" Hen frowns, recalling her memory to that day. It's not like Eddie goes to a bar or something. 

Eddie nods weakly. 

"Who?" Hen queries. Her face returns back to neutral and it make Eddie queasy in his stomach even more.  

"Ana." 

Oh boy. Hen knows Buck is insecure about Shannon, uncomfortable with the thought that he is replacing her in the Diaz's household. Hen also knows other women that Buck are still insecure about are Lena and Ana, both of different reasons but it is not her place to say. 

"Have you talk about it?" Hen then pries. She is still regretting the day she decided to cheat on Karen with her ex, and the downfall Denny might has to suffer. She knows what had happened between Karen and her was bad, so she is confident Buck and Eddie will come back from this, seeing that Buck didn't kicked Eddie out of his hospital room once he woke up actually lucid. 

"He forgives me, Hen. Easily." Eddie sighs. He still feels like he doesn't deserve love from Evan Buckley. Evan Buckley-Diaz now. "He forgives me too easily." Eddie murmurs under his breath, not intending for Hen to hear, but she heard them anyway. 

"If Buck forgives you, then maybe you need to  start forgiving yourself too." Hen offers. 

 

"We're only humans floating on a rock

But I think that you are made of stardust

Unconditional, you put up with so much

I can never repay the way you love

Back to the sky, we all have to fly back home, back home

The sweetest goodbyes are never with smiles at all"

 

///

 

Eddie swings open their house door without any grace, blaming his occupied hands. He can hear the clacking sound of his son's crutches and the stomping of Buck's socks-clad feet coming towards him. Within seconds, his once full hands are left empty when the box exchanged ownership. The duo are gone as fast as they come, robbing the cake away from Eddie. 

"Well hello to both of you, too." Eddie huffs in mock annoyance. 

The boys are too busy in deciding which flavor of cheesecake to start off with to even acknowledge Eddie's jeer. Eddie just smile fondly, not slightly bothered. He then snakes his hands around Buck's waist and pulls on his stomach so that Eddie's chest collides with his husband's back, tendering a chaste kiss to the corner of Buck's full lips. 

"Kiss later Daddy. Pops and I need to choose now." Chris admonishes him, as if Eddie just disrupt their very top-level mission. 

"Listen to our son. You know how much this decision is important to both of us. And you have me tortured all day craving for these." Buck teases, fluttering his eyelashes sinfully. 

"Well, sorry for missing my husband." Eddie pulls his lips downwards, feigning hurt but tighten his hug regardless. 

"You know I miss my cheesecake more than ever today. So can you please go take a shower while we plate this. You stink." Buck continues to bat his eyelashes, poking fun at Eddie. 

Loosening his hold on his husband, Eddie reluctantly walks over to their bedroom, ready to wash away the day. Being alone in their room, Eddie remembers what Hen had said. Forgiving himself. Eddie never thought that is an option until Hen had spelled out to him today. It is a nice concept. Nevertheless, Eddie cannot see himself doing just that yet. Eddie feels like if he ever forgives himself, then whatever Buck has endured is meaningless. Eddie does not deserve the salvation, what more from himself no matter how nice the sentiment is. 

Eddie is brought back to the reality when his phone vibrates in his back pocket. 

 

Evan: Better be quick. I'm not to be accountable for a sugar-high child tonight. ;)

 

Eddie lets out a chuckle, his self-loathing forgotten for a moment.

***

Showered and shaved, Eddie steps out to the kitchen where Chris and Buck are still sitting around their plates of half-eaten cheesy and sugary goodness, chatting about something school related. Seeing Eddie, Buck immediately stood up and walks towards the oven, pulling out Eddie's share of dinner, still perfectly warm when Eddie took the plate from Buck. What has Eddie done in his previous life to deserve this man. 

Sitting down next to Chris, Eddie can see the anticipation bubbling from Buck's face as he scoops up a hefty serving of lasagna with his spoon. Eddie doesn't need to pretend. He actually  honest to God lets out a huge appreciative moan when he took the bite. No offense to Bobby, but Buck is surpassing the Captain in no time in the cooking department. 

And there are the twinkles again. 

The twinkles that Eddie has longed before and now seeing them making their comeback just make Eddie's appetite that somehow was lost to grow. 

"I love you." The words automatically fall out of his mouth, despite being loaded with food. He can imagine Abuela scolding him for talking with his mouth full. 

Buck's cheeks tinted with pink. "You only love my cooking." Buck flusters, eyes looking everywhere but Eddie. His forks keep poking the remaining cheesecake in his plate. He's used with Eddie's declarations of loves, but often they are done privately. Other time is just chaste exchange of kisses and hand-holding or sometimes they were said in playful banter. Not in serious manner as how Eddie just did. 

Chris, blessed his innocent soul supplies, "No Pops. Daddy really loves, loves you. He's very sad when you're sick." Oh. Buck knows Eddie must be worried, but he is good at masking his emotions especially in front of Chris. For Chris to be able to see that, Eddie must has shown his vulnerability, which is unusual. Now the pink has changed to red. 

Eddie think it is impossible for Buck's cheeks to get redder than this. Eddie can actually see the flush travels down his neck to his chest and he tries his best suppressing the urge to imagine how far the tint goes like they usually does when they are in their bed. A child is present, Eddie. 

"I, I... I love you, too." Buck finally confess shyly. 

Chris cheers in delight while finishing his last bite of cake in one inhale.

"Am I still on the couch tonight?" Eddie wiggles his eyebrows seductively which only successfully making Buck to blush deeper. 

"You are." 

 

"But when our lives are running out

And your heartbeat has taken the draw

Could you try to look around?

I'll be there to pull you back up

I'll be around you

I'm nothing without you

I won't leave you alone

'Cause when the stars are falling down

There's love in the dark (I'll be there) (I'll be there)

There's love in the dark (I'll be there) (I'll be there)"

 

///

 

Eddie in fact did not end up on the couch.

Waking up to some delicious smell is not foreign in the Buckley-Diaz household now Buck has taken over the position as their chief chef. Buck literally is their savior, saving Chris and him from the damnation cereals, frozen meals and takeouts.  

Eddie rubs the sleep off his face, still feeling the leftover fatigue from yesterday. A 48 hours shift will never get easier no matter how accustomed his body might be. 

No matter how inviting the smell is, he knows he needs to wash up first or else Buck will dismiss him from the kitchen. "We don't mix filth and food at this table, Eddie." Not that Buck really mind when Eddie christened the kitchen, making Buck bending over the dining table some times ago. 

Later Eddie will find vast array of baking ingredients on the kitchen counter still unpacked in the shopping bags. 

"What are you doing?" Eddie asks once he steps into the kitchen. 

Buck turns around from the stove. "Erm...French toast?" He then expertly flips the toast to its other side. "Yours will be ready in a minute."

Eddie shuffles closer, stroking Chris' hair who is happily nibbling at the toast Buck had prepared for him. 

"No, Evan. I'm talking about the baking ingredients. Did you go out to buy all this?" Eddie's voice full of concern. 

Buck proceeds to transfer the toast to an awaiting plate before turning off the stove. "What if I did?" He challenges defiantly. 

"Evan, you know you shouldn't drive by yourself. Not yet." Eddie pulls Buck's hands into his. 

Buck's face breaks into mischievous grin. "No, you worrywart. Carla brought this over when she stopped by this morning." 

Eddie doesn't realise he was holding his breath. "Why didn't you ask me to buy them for you?" 

Buck actually scoffs. "Because you will mess with the list, opting sub-standard brands in favour for cheaper ingredients. Which I will not tolerate because this is too important." 

"And what is this that is too important to not have subpar ingredients in them?" Eddie knows Buck loves to bake, more than cooking actually. But the amount of ingredients on their kitchen counter is almost equivalent to what a bakery needs daily. 

That only makes Buck to grin even wider. "Tell your Daddy, Chris." Buck calls out.

"Bake Sale!" Chris shouts in excitement from his chair, hands high in the air cheering to the news. 

///

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Eddie chance a glance to Buck who is still unpacking the ingredients from the shopping bags, separating them from dry to wet. They have enough ingredients to bake almost anything, so Chris is in the living room, tasked to research on what will they bake for the school's Bake Sale. 

Buck looks at Eddie with confusion etched on his face. "Why wouldn't I be?" Buck asks without hesitation.

Eddie exhales. "Ana will be there." Now Eddie wish for a hole to swallow him down so he doesn't have to face his husband scrutinizing eyes. 

Buck pauses. "So? Why is that a problem?" Buck replied back, tone almost challenging. 

Eddie doesn't really know how to react to Buck's questions. He then clears his throat. "I...I don't want you to get uncomfortable." He stutters, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. 

A beat of silence wash over them. 

After a moment, Buck closes their distance, pulling Eddie forward. Buck smells like cinnamon and powdered sugar.

"Maybe I want to be there." Buck honest to God smirks at him. "Maybe I want to stake my claim." He whispers behind the shell of Eddie's ear, making him shudders in delight and terror. "Maybe I want to show her that you're mine. That I'm yours." Buck continues boldly, slyly. 

Eddie feels the heat burning him all over. He takes a shuddering breath, all while thinking about Chris in the living room to prevent him from grinding their hips together. Oh God. Is this how Buck will punish him from now on? To let him succumbs to blue balls? 

"Pops, I found it!" Christopher pipes in from the living room, yelling in delight. 

"I'll be there in a second, buddy." But Buck's seductive smile doesn't falter. In fact, he proceeds to wet his red lips sinfully before kissing Eddie deeply. It takes all of Eddie's willpower not to moan, but as fast as the kiss start, Buck breaks apart with teasing grin and a wink. Eddie's mouth went dry.

Dear, Lord. 

Eddie then is left alone in the kitchen with a hard on. Why does Buck likes to torture him this way? If this is the path to his salvation, dear God please help him. 

///

Just like the weather forecast had predicted, it's raining cats and dogs that night. Eddie leaves the couch and walk towards Chris' bedroom to check on his son in case he is woken up by the thunder and lightning dancing outside their windows. Seeing that Chris is still sleeping undisturbly, he decides to settle for the night, switching off the television and checking at all the locks again. 

When he enters their bedroom, he can see Buck's messy curls poking out from under the duvet. Buck is sleeping in the center of their bed, leaving little to no space for Eddie to squeeze in. 

Eddie stroke the soft curls lovingly. Usually that does the trick to wake Buck up. "Hey, darling. Move over a little will you." Eddie pulls down the duvet, but Buck doesn't budge. 

"Evan, you need to move over a bit so I can slide in." Eddie slowly shakes his husband gently, trying to rouse the man. Still no response. 

Worry immediately creeps into Eddie. He ungracefully kneels beside the bed, half of his body on the bed. "Please Evan, open your eyes. Hey, Evan. Wake up." Eddie craddles Buck's head in his hand, tapping his cheek firmly. Yet Buck's eyelids remain glued shut. 

"Sweetheart, please wake up. Please." Eddie pleads brokenly, still shaking Buck's shoulder. When Buck's head lolled back, his features slack and unmoving, Eddie can feel his heart stutters. 

No. Not again. Not yet. Not like this. God. Oh God.

"I'd do anything to relive our memories

And listen to your songs play in my head

'Cause I hate the silence, it's the only thing I get

I wish I could hear your voice once again

And your heartbeat, all of the small things, oh, oh

The sweetest goodbyes are never with smiles at all"

///

[madamsixx]

Beyond The Leather: Chapter 11: Iman Drunkington

Continued from last chapter

The limo picked up me and Lisa and drove us to the after party. There were tons of people and paparazzi as usual. The camera men were following the Motley boys everywhere. People were treating them like they were Kings maybe even Gods.

"There are soo many hot guys here. I have to find someone for my self." Lisa whispered in my ear.

"Lisa I don't think any one of these guys are good enough for you. Look at them, there all the same drunk drugged up rock stars."

"Well you certainly caught a drunk drugged up rock stars attention." She winked at me. She turned my head to look over at Nikki who was looking at me. I rolled my eyes and looked away.

"I don't want him. He's a mess and he's crazy and he's mean." I walked towards a table that had punch and poured my self some.

"Mani he's probably just lonely." She said following me.

"Hey Mani hey Lisa glad you girls could make it." Tommy said walking over to us.

"Were glad we could make it too." I said.

"So Tommy what does a girl have to do to get some blow around here?"

"Lisa!" I yelled.

"What? This is the after party isn't it!" She yelled back.

"Your speaking my language Lisa. Come on girl let's party." He grabbed her and they walked towards a table filled with people and obviously drugs.

I stood by the table and continued pouring and drinking the punch. Which tasted weird but was good.

"Your friend seems to be having a great time."

I turned around and saw Nikki standing behind me. I rolled my eyes and looked away from him.

"You look gorgeous white suits you."

I was wearing a white dress with a half arm sleeve. I knew I looked good in white. And I wasn't going to give him my attention. After how he behaved in March and ignoring me today.

"Look Mani I'm sorry ok, I just didn't know that you were coming and I was shocked when I saw you on stage. I didn't know what to say to you." He moved in front of me so I would be looking at him.

I was having trouble keeping my eyes open. I saw his lips moving but couldn't hear a thing he was saying.

"Oh soooo ya know what to... to say now?" I asked wondering if I was making sense.

All of a sudden his straight lips turned into a big devils grin plastered on his face. "How bout a truce." He signaled over for a guy with brownies and little finger cheesecakes to come over. "I know you like sweets cause your sweet. These brownies will go well with that punch."

I looked at the brownies I couldn't resist. They looked good. I grabbed one and ate it. And it was so good. So I started eating them up. I ate about 6 maybe 7 or probably 9.

10 min later....

"Nicholas I neeeeed a drink." I giggled. I was laughing non stop and very hyper.

"C'mere doll let's get you a real drink." Nikki grabbed my hand and led me to the bar. I was smiling so much I felt like I was on cloud nine. I sat at the bar and started laughing so much at absolutely nothing.

"Hey Jack and coke." Nikki said to the bartender.

"Noooooo I drink Cranberry juice." I yelled hitting him on the shoulder.

"Ok sweets cranberry juice and jack for her." He pointed with that same devil's smile on his face.

Another 10 mins later...

I was 5 drinks in when I got on the dance floor and started doing cartwheels in my heels and dress. I was chasing after the waiter trying to grab more brownies from him with Nikki chasing after me.

"Give me the fucking brownies." I grabbed the tray from him and started running and bumping into people. I tripped and fell down and ended up rolling underneath the table eating the brownies.

"Princess I think your done with the brownies." Nikki crawled under the table and grabbed the tray.

"How dare you.......you need to get me more. I need another drink."

What am I even saying I have no idea. But my mind is racing and I'm happy. I ran back on the dance floor grabbing people drinks and downing them. I thought it was funny and people were laughing with me.

"What the fuck Nikki. What the fuck is she doing?" Mick asked Nikki.

"Holy shit is she wasted?" Tommy laughed

Nikki turned around to see me taking people drinks and drinking it. He then ran to me on the dance floor to get me off of it.

"Hey come on doll your done." He grabbed my arm.

"Fuck off no I'm not." I pulled my arm back and ran from him. People were staring at me and really starting to laugh. So I laughed. Until I saw another brownie tray. I dashed towards it like a track star and grabbed the tray. But the waiter wouldnt let the tray go.

"Let the fucking tray go or I'll hit you with my big toe!" I yelled.

"You need help, and I'm not letting go." The waiter yelled back. I yanked it from his hand so hard that he let it go. I ended up flying back wards and knocking into another guy who's drink spilt on him.

"Oh woops" I laughed

"You think this is funny you wasted bitch." He grabbed my arm.

"Oh pee you....you smell. Aaaaaaaand it is funny." I then leaned and breathed on his face and started laughing.

"Laugh at this bitch." The guy then back handed me and I fell backwards hitting the ground hard with the tray splattering on the ground with the brownies.

"Your a fucking dead man." I heard Nikki yell. He clenched his fist and swung, his fist nailed the guy on his right eye. The rest of the Motley boys came charging at the guy.

I was so out of it I didn't even see what was going on. I heard yelling and screaming coming from different directions, I was dizzy and my head was hurting. But on a positive note, there was a brownie in front of me not smooshed and ready to be eaten. In fact it was talking to me. I was hurt but I could still eat this one. And so I took a bite and laughed about it.

I felt arms grab me and pick me up in bridal style and carry me out. We ended up in a hall way. The arms put me down on the ground. I was so dizzy I couldn't keep my eyes open.

"Oh my God is she ok? Nikki what the fuck happened!" Lisa started crying and yelling at the same time. While trying to keep her balance she was high and drunk. And now so was I.

"Sixx what happened?" Vince said trying to hold Lisa up.

"It was just a joke, I didn't know she would go crazy like that." Nikki was panicking.

"She can't go back to our....our hotel like this. Tamara will kill her and me. We will.....will never see the day of light again." Lisa slurred leaning on Vince.

"Well clearly the both of them are wasted. Her I can understand" Mick points at Lisa. "But Iman doesn't drink. We'll talk about this later. Let's just get these two to our hotel." Mick said while grabbing my one arm.

"Mick I didn't mean to do this. It was just for fun." Nikki looks at Mick.

"Just grab her other arm Sixx!" Mick yelled.

Nikki grabbed my other arm and they picked me up.

"Stop....s..s...stop" I pulled away from them and fell on the ground throwing up.

"Babe we need to get you to our hotel room ok now come on." Nikki tried to pick me up again but I hiked up my dress and pulled my panties down. Taking them off completley and throwing them at Nikki. I put two hands on the wall for support and squatted then started peeing on the ground.

"Dude thats fucking awesome." Tommy chuckled "I love drunk Iman." Nikki glared at Tommy with a straight face. "Sorry." He said in a low voice.

I then tried getting up but started to stumble. Nikki caught me and picked me up. He threw me over his shoulders and then everything went black.

Nikki's POV

We arrived back at the hotel. I layed her down on the bed and took off her heels.

"Look she can stay with me if you can't take care of her." Mick suggested.

"No I rather keep her here with me. Who has Lisa?" I asked while turning her to the side and pulling the sheets up to cover her. I also went and got the garbage bin and put it on the side of the bed.

"Vince does, we'll come by in the morning and check up on her." Mick says while heading to the door.

"Nikki," Mick calls.

"Yeah."

"Your never going to be good enough for her. If this is how you keep treating her." He says, then walkes out the door shutting it behind him.

At this point I just sat on the couch staring at her laying on the bed. I never meant for this to go as far as it did. But every action has a consequence. And it was somthing that I was going to have to learn. I got up and went to my suitcase and pulled out a pen and paper and started writing in it.

Iman's POV

The next day I woke up with a massive headache. I looked around and realized that this wasn't my room. I also realized I had no panties on. I slowly got out of the bed holding my head and wondering where I was. I started walking towards the washroom when I looked on the ground and noticed about 5 crumpled up peices of paper. I looked to my left and saw paper and pen laying on the couch. I walked towards it and picked it up and started reading it.

She's only fifteen She's the reason--the reason that I can't sleep You say illegal I say legal's never been my scene I try like hell but I'm out of control

All in the name of rock 'n' roll For sex and sex I'd sell my soul

Pretty, pretty so innocent

I hope to God these lyrics are not about me. I bolted towards the washroom. And threw up in the toilet. I looked in the mirror and could not even believe what I was looking at. I looked like a nightmare. I splashed water on my face and in mouth. "Jesus what happened to me?" I said to myself.

I then heard a door open and close. Whoever came in is either one, a bad guy that's trying to hurt me or two, a nice guy that saw somthing was wrong with me and was trying to help me.

"Mani!"

I heard a voice call. I immediately knew who it was. I walked out of the washroom slowly looking at the raven haired bassist. He was undeniably beautiful. Even in the morning when people looked like crap he looked good.

"Good morning sweets." He walked to the table and places a bag down on it. "How'd you sleep princess?"

"I dont know cause I cant remember. What the hell happened to me Nikki?" I demanded.

"Well that's what a hang over is." Nikki chuckled. He started pulling out bacon, eggs, and bagels from the bag. And had a orange juice and a bottle of cranberry juice. The fact that he knows I love cranberry juice made me smile and my heart melt. But I had to get back to the serious questions.

"I don't drink alcohol so I shouldn't have had a hangover Nikki." I said with a now agitated voice.

"Well you drank yesterday." Nikki turned to face me. "That punch you were drinking had alcohol in it. Alot of it too." He chuckled.

"Oh my God. Did I make a fool of my self at the party." I asked putting my hands on my face and sitting on the bed.

"Well you were chasing down the waiter and swearing at him, you grabbed other people's drinks and started dowing them, you splashed some randoms guy drink on him and he pushed you. And then you went out into the hall way and peed on the ground. But that was after you took your panties off and threw them at me." Nikki says laughing.

"Its not funny. And all that from alcohol and punch. Oh God I feel like I won't be able to show my face out in public again." I groaned.

"Mani." Nikki walks over to me and sits beside me on the bed. But I get up and move away from him.

"Everytime I go out with you guys something goes wrong. What if they release any videos or pictures of me. Tamara will quit on me and my family will feel embarrassed. Oh God." I say pacing around the room.

"They won't, I had Doc take all the cameras away from the photographers. And beleive me when I say it wasn't your fault princess." He assured.

"I need to leave." I started walking towards the door. I wanted to get away from Nikki. Him and his band have just been causing chaos in my life and I had enough.

"Wait can we talk?" Nikki asks standing up from the bed. I stopped and turn to look at him. I nod and walk back sitting on the chair by the table with the food.

"Look about what happened in March I'm sorry for what I did. I .......I just got very mad watching you dancing with somone else." Nikki says scratching the back of his neck and sitting back down.

"You got mad watching me dance with somone else. So that gives you the right to physically hurt me. You grabbed me and then shoved me into a wall and tried to punch me."

"No I didn't try to punch you Mani. I punched the side of the wall-"

"Does that matter!" I interrupted. "You physically hurt me Nikki!" I shouted getting more angry.

"Iman I'm not that person ok. That's not me. I deeply care for you and would never harm you." Nikki started raising his voice.

"But you did Nikki. You did harm me." I shouted.

"Cause you fucking danced with another fucking guy. You knew exactly what you were doing and how that would make me feel!" Nikki shouted back.

By this point we were both in a shouting argument and pointing our fingers at each other. I knew this wasn't going to get solved.

"This is a mistake I'm leaving." I say standing up. "I don't have to put up with you. Your not my boyfriend and I don't owe you anything. I danced with him cause I wanted to, it had nothing to do with hurting you." I shouted and started walking away.

Nikki got up and walked after me. I opened the door and he slammed it shut. Scaring the hell out of me. "Were not done talking!" He shouted.

"Well I am you scare me. And I want to leave right now." My voice started shaking.

Nikki was taken back by my words. His eyes went wide and he looked shocked.

"Are you.....are you scared of me?" He asked with a very low voice. I nodded and my eyes started to tear up. With everything that happened I was starting to feel scared of him. He had two sides to him. I was now starting to understand what Tommy's ex wife Elaine was saying. One minute he would be happy and caring then next he would be angry and aggressive.

Nikki sighed and looked at me hurt. He walked over to the bed and sat down. He looked down at the ground and stayed silent. I sat down on the chair and looked out the window.

"Iman I...I'm so sorry I hurt you. I really care about you and im sorry."

I couldn't help but let out a sigh. I walked and sat beside him on the bed. "Its ok." I whispered.

Nikki turned and looked at me his green eyes staring into my soul. It was hard for me to resist him. He then moved close and kissed my cheek.

"Hey Sixx you guys up." Tommy barged into the room with Vince and Lisa following behind him. We quickly separated from each other.

"Oh did we miss somthing." Vince starts laughing.

"Mani how are you feeling?" Lisa asks walking towards me.

"I'm ok. We should start heading back to our hotel I'm sure Tamara is going to be looking for us." I stand up turning away from Nikki.

"Alright we'll walk you girls down." Vince grabs a hold of Lisa's hand tugging her out of the room, while I walk around the bed to put on my heels.

"T- bone get out." Nikki glares at Tommy.

"Aww come on Sixx."

"Goodbye Tommy." I say putting on my heels.

I get up and turn around to face Nikki. He walks over towards me scratching his head. "So is it all good between us or am I gonna have to stop hoping?" He asks.

"The lyrics on the paper, who's that about?" I raise a brow. He turns back to look at the paper on the couch and turns back to me. "Turn to the right and you'll see." He says with a smirk.

I look over to the right and noticed my reflection staring right back at me. I was trying my best not to smile. Nikki certainly had a way with words and how to make a woman blush. But I wonder if that's a trick to get all the girls. I mean let's just face it. When I came backstage he had two girls on his arm. Not to mention he is dating another girl. I almost forgot about that. I turn back to face Nikki who is now right in front of my face.

"You didn't answer question princess?" He says with a low voice and tucks my hair behind my ear.

"I have to go Nikki." I smile and then walk out the door closing it behind me.

[quaxorascal]

oc quiz -- capella rae edition

Okay I had to do another version of this after seeing @sleepysak cover Saiph, I Had to. Love my bastard. I’ll tag @aliensmoocher if you wanna!

Asked someone to marry you? – not yet.

Kissed one of your friends? – never a friend, no.

Danced on a table in a bar or tavern? – no.

Ever told a lie? – who hasn’t?

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have? – no.

Ever kissed someone of the opposite sex? – i’ve kissed a few people...

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? – ...mostly nonbinary people, if you must know.

Kissed a picture? – no.

Slept in until 5pm? – not intentionally, but it has happened. i prefer to be awake early.

Fallen asleep at work or school? – again, not intentionally, but sometimes i wouldn’t get enough sleep back in hunter school. i need to be rested on the job, however, so this isn’t an issue anymore.

Held a snake? – yes.

Been suspended from school? – not suspended.

Stolen something? – little things, accidentally. the soaps in nicer inns, a pen or two from my assigned enforcer’s desk, that sort of thing. the only thing i’ve stolen intentionally was that fur coat of august’s. they thanked me for it later.

Done something you regret? – right. prefer not to say.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? – yes.

Laughed until liquid came out of your nose? – no.

Kissed in the rain? – yes.

Sat on a rooftop? – yes.

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? – if you want to be technical, i wasn’t supposed to be snogging august before we were promoted together.

Sang in the shower? – no.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? – no, and i would cut anyone who tried to do so. no exaggeration.

Shaved your head? – no.

Slept naked? – absolutely not.

Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? – ...i’d like to think harry and i could lay equal claim to that. though that isn’t the only instance, now that i think of it. 

Donated blood? – ... >:(

Eaten alligator meat? – once, when stationed at a truly backwater city. it doesn’t taste like much, but it’s chewy. think of calamari with less flavour.

Eaten cheesecake? – my aunt used to make a cheesecake with honey and cinnamon in spring. it was nice. i haven’t found anyone who makes cheesecake like that since.

Still loved someone you shouldn’t? – see earlier question. i’d never bothered with anything like that before.

Have/had a tattoo? – no.

Liked someone, but will never tell who? – who i like has never been anyone’s business but my own. except for in lunaris. then, my business is half the town’s, apparently.

Been too honest? – in the sense of being blunt, yes. i’ve been told i do that a lot.

Ruined a surprise? – no.

Eaten so much that you can’t walk after? – saiph, that is a horrible way to die.

Dressed in a man’s clothes? – that hardly matters.

Dressed in a woman’s clothes? – capes have no gender, i will point out.

Joined a pageant? – no.

Still have communication with your ex? – no.

Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who meant it? – they took a while to say it in words instead of letters, but yes.

Cheated on someone? – of course not.

Gotten totally drunk and missed an exam? – no.

A total stranger treated you by paying your fare? – no.

Got so angry that you cried? – no.

Tried to stay away from someone for their own good? – i used to think that was the better way to do things. ...not since saiph.

Thought about suicide? – prefer not to say.

Thought about murder? – yes.

Actually murdered someone? – i’m careful in my line of work to not endanger people who aren’t threats. if a human is too far gone, however... well. someone has to do something.

Thought about mass murder? – no, that’s just excessive.

Actually committed a mass murder? – no.

Rode in a stranger’s vehicle? – yes.

Stalked someone? – call it reconnaissance.

Had a girlfriend? – i’ve had one before.

Had a boyfriend? – no.

Gotten totally drunk during a holiday? – yes. saiph still owes me the name of a beer they had brought with them the last time we were able to celebrate the new year together before lunaris.

[jinniesmeow]

Club Sandwich - Bang Chan

MASTERLIST ; REQUEST

➵ Pairings : chan x gender neutral!reader (feat skz)

➵ Warnings : none ; kinda cliché I guess ?

➵ Summary : Your best friend Chan loves food a little too much, especially club sandwiches and salted caramel ice cream and you love movie nights with your friends. This one ends up a little differently though.

➵ Genre : best friends to lovers ; fluff ; a little bit of humor (?)

➵ Word count : 3.5k

➵ Note : I don’t know, man. I dreamed about the first scene so I wrote it and then I improvised. I hope it’s not as bad as it sounds though.

You looked at Chan with a disgusted face, shaking your head in disbelief. « Don’t you ever stop eating ? » you asked, mouth falling open as the man sitting across from you shoved another spoonful of rice in his mouth.

He chewed on his food happily, even doing a little dance before he answered « Nope, never » and flashed you a grin that showed his dimples.

You shook your head once more, « Unbelievable » you said as you stood up, disgusted by how much food he had shoved down to his stomach in the past twenty minutes. How could one eat so much and in such a short time ?

Chan watched as you stood up, eyes opening wide in curiosity : « Where are you going ? » he asked as you gathered your stuff before picking up your tray.

You stopped before leaving, looking him dead in the eye and stated : « You’ve literally swallowed three bowls of rice before this one, two whole steaks —one of which was mine— and you ate Jisung’s omelette along with a club sandwich you found god knows where » you listed and he only watched you with an unreadable expression.

« But you said you weren’t going to eat your steak » he said and you rolled your eyes. « That’s not the point, Chan ! I’m disgusted, how can you eat so much at once ? How can you eat food you found without knowing where it comes from ? » your voice raised as you spoke.

He blinked a few times, under shock. « The sandwich was still in its package and I checked, it hadn’t been opened before » he stated, serious as ever. Seeing your unfazed expression, he added : « It was a club sandwich ! I couldn’t leave it there ! It would’ve been sad if I hadn’t eaten it » he exclaimed.

And with this, you had reached your limit. « Anyways, I’ll see you later » you said as you stomped away from the table, leaving a dumbfounded Chan with eight snickering boys. You heard them tease him and call him a ‘pig’, telling him he disgusted even his best friend and how he would end up alone. He glared at them and they backed off, knowing full well how Chan could have unexpected reactions sometimes.

You put your tray on the conveyer and left the cafeteria.

—————

Slowly but surely, the day came to an end and it was finally time to head back home. You stretched in your chair before putting your stuff inside your backpack and making your way out. You were tired but still felt good anyways, as it was Friday and the weekend was just starting. And just like every Friday night, it was movie night.

You were excited to watch another bunch of films with the boys while eating pizza. The boys were loud and messy, but you still loved going more than anything else. It was part of your routine and it was just the perfect way to end the week.

You were glad to have these nine dorks in your life, although sometimes they were difficult to deal with, as they made your life brighter and easier. They always acted as if life was okay and there was no such thing as common problems, somehow. You had met them through Chan, your best friend of twelve years, when you had gotten into high school. You had transferred from a school on another part of the city when you had moved so that you wouldn’t have to be stuck in public transports for two hours straight every day. Bonus was, you got to be with your best friend every day since then, putting an end to meeting up at a café downtown, halfway from both your houses.

The eight others had made you feel welcome instantly, being open and joking around with you, and you were thankful for that. You were really close to them now, a year and half after first meeting them.

On your way out of school, you bumped into Felix and he cracked a bright smile at you, reminding you of your little Friday Night tradition as he told you « Don’t forget ! Tonight, at six, my place. Jisung and Chan are taking care of the pizzas and Hyunjin and Jeongin are in charge of snacks so you don’t have to bring anything this time » he explained while slinging an arm around your shoulders as the two of you walked out.

« Felix, how could I forget about movie night ? I’ve never missed one » you laughed, raising an eyebrow at him. He shrugged and you continued : « I’m feeling like eating ice cream tonight though, so I’ll bring some of that » you smiled.

Felix’s eyes widened as you said this, fist pumping in the air in victory : « Oh my gosh, yes ! I love you, you know that right ? » he exclaimed and you laughed.

« Yeah, yeah I know. Now let me go get that ice cream, will you ? » you demanded, pointing at his arm over your shoulders. He let go of you and grinned as you waved at him, walking towards the ice cream parlor.

When you stepped in, you already knew what flavors to buy and as there wasn’t anyone else in the shop, you greeted the cashier and recited : « two cartons of cookie dough, two of vanilla, one of strawberry cheesecake and one of salted caramel »

She seemed shocked at how much you were buying while you wondered if the six cartons would be enough for the ten of you, seeing how much the boys ate. Especially Chan.

« Actually, make that two cartons of each » you changed your mind. You could hear your wallet crying in your back pocket, anticipating the moment you would have to pay, but you ignored it. I’ll just make them pay for me next time I buy books, you thought to yourself.

When everything was ready, the lady handed you your freezer bag full of ice cream. You payed. As soon as you stepped outside, you regretted buying so much, both because of your wallet and because you started to think the ten of you wouldn’t be able to finish it all tonight. You hoped Felix’s freezer wasn’t broken anymore.

Checking the time on your phone, you decided you had enough time to leave your school stuff at home and change into some more comfortable clothes before you had to go to Felix’s house. He only lived a few blocks away from you anyways.

—————

Entering your house, still empty at this hour, you quickly put the ice cream bag to rest in the freezer while you went upstairs to change your clothes. You decided on just trading your pair of jeans for a comfier one and packed your toothbrush and pajama shorts. You would just borrow Chan’s shirt or sweater to sleep in, as usual.

The time on your phone read 5:43. You headed back downstairs with your bag ready, not forgetting to take the ice cream from the freezer before you left.

You put in your earphones while walking and let Spotify play on shuffle, choosing a song for you. It played I miss you by blink-182. You were almost surprised at such a nice pick, and then remembered it was your own playlist, made by yourself. Of course it would suit your taste.

You walked over to your friend’s house, bag in hand, walking to the beat of the song.

You didn’t bother knocking on the door before getting in, knowing no one would actually hear you anyways. You’re proven right as soon as you’re inside : the boys were already a mess, the youngest ones —along with Minho and Changbin— throwing pillows around the living room as Woojin watched. Felix and Chan are in the kitchen, putting snacks in bowls.

You sighed at the sight, walking to join Chan and Felix in the kitchen as Woojin greeted you.

« I bought ice cream ! » you screamed, making everyone stop. Jisung gets hit by the last flying pillow, not quick enough to dodge it as his ears perked up at your words.

The silence only lasted for a second though as they all began cheering and screaming excitedly. You rolled your eyes when they started throwing all sorts of compliments at you.

« You’ll pay for me next time I go to the mall then, right ? » you asked rhetorically, making their shoulders drop and instantly shutting them up. You smirked proudly. « Now get the blankets ready boys, will you ? » you ordered. And they heeded.

You turned back to Chan looking at you. « Hey » you said as you smiled, as if nothing had happened. You pointed to the freezer and asked Felix « This still works, right ? ». He nodded in affirmation and you opened it to put the cartons of ice cream inside.

« What the hell, how many of those did you buy ? » Chan asked as he saw you taking them out of your bag one after the other.

« Eight » you replied, « I thought six wouldn’t be enough with the walking stomach you are around » you told him, quickly meeting his eyes. He smiled to himself without you noticing as you looked away, walking back to the living room where the others were finishing to set the blankets and pillows around the floor and couch. You sat on the couch, taking the opportunity before there was no room left and you would have to sit on the floor.

« All set ! » Seungmin called for Chan and Felix to join. They took the pizza boxes, putting them down on the small table before settling down themselves. Felix plopped down next to Changbin, close to the pizza, as Chan sat next to you on the couch.

« You better not keep all that pizza for yourselves » Minho warned Felix and Jisung, seeing as they were already biting into their first slices while the movie wasn’t even on yet.

« Well then maybe you should get closer to it if you’re so scared you won’t have any » Jisung challenged, earning a smack on the back of his head from the older boy. Still, Minho got off the couch to sit next to him, which only made Jisung smirk proudly.

« Okay kids now shut it, I’m playing the movie » Jeongin said as he pressed the ‘play’ button, making you laugh at his boldness. « Let’s have a Star Trek marathon » he said and you all cheered in approval.

You leaned down from the couch to grab two slices of pizza before Jisung could react and sticked your tongue out at his hurt expression, then handing one of the slices to Chan who smiled like a kid as he shoved it whole in his mouth in one big bite. Your mouth fell open. You couldn’t understand how nor why he did it.

He looked at you innocently, « Chris is hungry » he only said as he went back for another one, swallowing it whole like the first. You rolled your eyes and focused on Chris Pine appearing on the screen. I’m sure this Chris chews his food before swallowing it.

—————

About thirty minutes into the movie, Hyunjin had gotten up to get the ice cream as the pizza was long gone. The ten of you were now sprawled over Felix’s living room floor and couch, rolled up in the blankets and finishing the last bits of ice cream, full, as Benedict Cumberbatch was getting beaten up by Zachary Quinto on the tv. You had finished watching the first movie a little while ago and the second one was close to ending. The ice cream was finished too and you had barely had a few spoons of each flavor. As per usual.

Chan licked the last drops of salted caramel ice cream off his spoon, putting the empty carton down before he propped his legs up on the couch and laid his head in your lap.

Your hand automatically went to stroke his hair gently. Although a bit dry because of the several times he had dyed it, it was still quite soft and you gently passed your fingers in his curls, thumb and palm brushing on the side of his face earning a contented sigh from him.

You averted your eyes from the screen to look down at him. He had closed his eyes, hands joined resting on his stomach as he lay on his back, head in your lap. His soft features barely visible as they were only lit by the tv screen, you thought about how beautiful he was and how important he was to you.

He looked so peaceful, contented after eating as much as he had wanted, and you couldn’t help but smile shyly to yourself.

As a soft blush started heating your cheeks, you decided it was better to look back up at the screen and focus on what was left of the movie.

You tried. You really tried to focus on the movie, hand still running in Chan’s hair, but your eyes felt as if they were drawn to him and you had a hard time resisting the urge to look at his face. Your eyes were fixated on the screen as though you were piercing through it, not actually seeing anything that was happening in the movie.

At some point, you stopped resisting and your gaze fell back on Chan’s face, only to see him staring back at you. Your breath hitched as your heart jumped in your chest, surprised at his eyes unexpectedly staring back into yours. He didn’t look away though, eyes boring into your own as if he was piercing all the way through to your soul.

Heat rose through your upper body, blood running to your face and you looked away, fixating your eyes back on the screen like before, as if you were watching the movie. You didn’t dare look back down, nor stop moving your fingers in his hair. You didn’t know what to do.

Just as if he were trying to make it all even harder for you, Chan snuggled closer to you, turning his face to your stomach, almost breathing in your shirt.

You were completely frozen, but he didn’t move for the rest of the movie, allowing you to gradually get more comfortable with it, though you were still a bit tense and your heart kept beating like crazy. There was no way you were going to be able to sleep tonight.

—————

Eventually, the movie ended and Woojin grabbed the remote, cutting off the credits as he pushed the ‘off’ button. Seeing as everyone was sleepy —if not already sleeping— you silently agreed not to watch the last movie.

Felix and Changbin were long gone, sprawled on each other and legs entangled with the blankets on the floor as Minho and Jisung mirrored them on the other side of the table. Seungmin and Jeongin got up to change their clothes before getting to sleep. « I’m not sleeping on the floor, so I’ll take the guest room » Seungmin stated and Jeongin followed him, nodding in approval.

Hyunjin was wiping away his tears after crying again at the near-death of Captain Kirk. You couldn’t blame him though, you would have cried, too, if your mind hadn’t been preoccupied by other thoughts. He sobbed a few more times before making dramatic hand movements and deciding he was okay after inhaling sharply. He gave himself a nod and got up as well.

« I’m taking Felix’s bed tonight. I need some time to recover from… this. Again. » he said before walking upstairs to his friend’s room.

You tried not to laugh at his actions. It was the third time you were watching the second Star Trek movie with him, and the third time he balled his eyes out before fake-isolating himself to recover. He was just waiting for someone to come and comfort him with hugs, though.

Woojin sighed. « I guess I’ll go get him this time » he said and pointed at your lap, « since you’re kind of busy already ». You smiled although blushing and thanked him. He got up, wishing you a good night as he walked up the stairs.

You were left with four boys sound asleep and another sleepy one on your lap. He wasn’t asleep yet, though.

« My sweater’s on the kitchen chair » he mumbled at you as he sat up a little, allowing you to stand up.

You nodded and went to grab it, sitting back down next to him on the couch in Woojin’s previous spot as you handed it to him. He chuckled softly. « No, I meant for you » he said.

You blushed again. « Oh, right. » you sheepishly said. « I-I’ll just go change real quick then » you continued, standing up again and he hummed. It was true you usually slept with his sweater on, you were just too tense to act normally.

You locked the bathroom door behind you, mind running wild as you changed into the pajama shorts you’d packed and Chan’s sweater, completely forgetting you should have brushed your teeth, too. The scent of his cologne on his sweater was making all of your senses numb.

You went back to the living room where Chan had also changed into sweatpants in the meantime, now lying back on the couch, head on the armrest as he opened his arms at you when you approached.

He smiled, arms wide open as he gestured for you to come to him with his fingers. Your heartbeat picked up a little as you snuggled into his chest on top of him and rested your head on his shoulder, your breath fanning his neck.

He circled his arms around your waist, holding you impossibly closer. You were pretty sure he could feel your heart pounding in your chest against his, betraying you. His scent became even stronger, almost making you dizzy.

« Thanks for the ice cream » he spoke, chest vibrating. « You even bought salted caramel, and Chris loves salted caramel » he said like little kid. You giggled and pushed yourself up a little to face him. « I know » you said, « that’s why I bought it you dumbass. I also know strawberry cheesecake is Hyunjin’s favorite and that Minho prefers simple vanilla. And that you prefer pizza with lots of cheese on it and like your ramen as spicy as possible, and that you’re upset when you haven’t eaten enough which for you is the equivalent of three sandwiches, two bowls of rice and a dessert at minima. And that you have a very special relationship with club sandwiches, as you eat some at least twice a week or your body ‘can’t function correctly’ » you continued and he stared into your eyes, again.

You blushed as you became aware of how close to yours his face was. He had an unreadable expression, something between « Wow that’s amazing » and « Of course you’d know ». He pushed your hair out of your face with his right hand, gently cupping your cheek afterward.

« Y/n ? » he called and you breathed out a small « Yes ? » in response, breath catching in your throat as you got lost in his eyes.

« Can I kiss you ? » he asked softly.

Your heart was pounding so hard you were surprised it hadn’t broken your ribcage yet.

« Yes » you whispered right before Chan crashed his lips onto yours. You could taste the salted caramel ice cream on his lips.

The kiss lasted for a what seemed like three hours and ten seconds all at once before he finally pulled away and brushed his thumb on your left cheek as he looked at you lovingly.

You bit your lip, the taste of salted caramel lingering on your tongue.

« I swear if I get sick because of that stupid club sandwich you ate earlier, I’ll kill you » you said.

He laughed and nodded, « Sure » before pulling you back to his chest. « But for now just sleep, you’ll have more reasons to nag at your pig-of-a-boyfriend for his eating habits tomorrow » he told you as you closed your eyes, head resting on his chest that heaved up and down as he talked. You smiled. « Is that what you are now ? » You asked, « my boyfriend ? ».

You could almost see him furrow his eyebrows, even with your eyes still closed.  « Yes. Unless you don’t want that » he answered and you noticed a little tone of worry in his voice nonetheless.

You shook your head « No, I’d love that » you said as you snuggled even closer to him, burying your face in his neck.

« Then it’s all good » he said, sounding a little distant as you were now relaxed and slowly drifting off to sleep.

« All good » you answered. You felt him tighten his embrace around you before finally falling asleep.

A/N : Hi. It’s me again. I hope this didn’t suck, tell me though. Thank you for reading anyway. I’m really glad so many people liked my previous imagine and was really shocked :’) I have another Hyunjin, another Chan, a Minho and a Jisung one in my drafts. Tell me which one you’d like to see first, maybe ?

[theexploringegg]

Day 56: It's More Fun in the Philippines.

Amin was ready at 8.45am to leave, so I got my stuff together and we threw it in the boot of his car, setting off for some breakfast before setting about the day. I had spent time looking up the best place to have kaya toast which I really wanted to eat before leaving Malaysia. Amin knew the place I had chosen as his foodie friend had taken him there just a few weeks before. I was rather pleased with my choice. Restaurant Kam Heong was absolutely packed. The facade housed many hawker stalls selling not only kaya toast but prawn mee, char kway teoh, popiah, rice porridge and chee cheong fun. I ordered us tea tarik while Amin ordered the toasts. It arrived after having been charred over the charcoal drill and topped with butter and kaya (coconut jam). A little bowl arrived with two eggs which we cracked them into, and watched as they slithered out, half boiled. A drizzle of soy sauce and a sprinkle of pepper later and we were ready to eat. I took away some prawn mee for later while Amin grabbed some items for his staff. Before reaching the cafe, we made a call at his previous workplace to collect a cheesecake (steady business the day before had depleted his supply) and another call to visit a friend of his who wasn't home after all. At 11am we arrived at the cafe with smiles from the staff inside. I took a counter seat and set up my tablet, as one of the guys brought me a coffee. Quite content there, I sat and typed, taking a break for my prawn mee (yum), and several breaks to chat. 3pm came too quickly. Amin kindly offered to take me to the airport, KLIA2. My flight to Cebu was later that evening, and I was starting to get excited to know I would soon be seeing my best friend, Melissa. Check in, immigration and security went smoothly. I had plenty of time so enjoyed a really delicious dinner which wasn't expensive at all by airport standards: less than 4 pounds for a chicken curry, rice, beansprouts, popiah, soup and cold cup of soy milk. I treated my self on the flight with a cup of Twinnings English Breakfast (I've actually lost all cravings for a British cup of tea) which I drank black as I popped chocolate M&M's and used the 4 hours flight time to finally catch up on writing. Touchdown. I had arrived in the Philippines! As I emerged out of the building I heard a cry and Melissa sped into view. We hugged, screamed and aahed for several minutes before letting go. It was so exciting to see her. Crossing the road, I met her auntie and we packed my stuff in the car, heading to a weekend night market to check out the food. I was only in the country 10 minutes and we were going for food already- this was definitely a taste of things to come. The market was open at weekends only, and quite a modern hawker place than those I had been used to in Malaysia. It was called Sugbo Mercado, and opened from 5pm until 1am. I was struck by the fierce humidity, even at around 11.30pm. As I wasn't really hungry, so after a look-see we headed home in the tiny, bumpy streets to tita's apartment. People were just walking out on the roads in front of us and passengers crammed in jeep taxis rolled by as we made our way. Back at the apartment, I was spoiled with an array of tropical fruits which Mel's auntie had for us, some of which I had never seen before and had no idea how to eat! Pomelo (like a grapefruit), mango (sweet), marang (a prickly skin which we broke open to reveal small seeded segments), santol aka cotton fruit (I realised the flesh is not to be eaten-bitter-, only the fluffy pulp around the stone). Tita also showed us raw cacao tablets (tables) which were very bitter, rich and pure cocoa goodness. I couldn't wait till breakfast the next morning (we would melt it in the rice porridge!). It was 1am and I even had a drink of coffee and some bukayo (a sweet bite made from shredded coconut and sugar with a peanut inside). High on sugar and excitement at learning our itinerary for the next month and more (it was going to be action-packed), Mel and I took off to bed, put on some facemasks and caught up on recent events. Soon I realised no reply was coming back and I looked across at Mel who had already fallen asleep. I was very happy to have my best friend back again.

[cryokinesisandlight]

Maybe if I skip Dinner (20)

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pairings: xiuchen and baekyeol. xiumin and baekhyun centric, though.

genre: angst

rating: nc-17

warnings: eating disorders (bulimia and anorexia), self-harm, self-hatred

please take care of yourself if you choose to read.

Eating has him almost gagging on reflex. Jihyun raises an eyebrow at him and Baekhyun winces. She had doubted him when he told her that he used to vomit twice a day. Whether or not she didn't believe the number or whether or not she didn't believe that he vomited, Baekhyun isn't sure of. And sure, he lied. He didn't vomit twice a day, he used to vomit all the time. 

He doesn't anymore though because he's actually getting better. That is not to say that he is fine and believes in himself, not at all. He does still on occasion sneak in the diet pill when it gets a little too rough and the thoughts still linger in the back of his mind. 

The weight loss dream is still there. But yeah, sure, he is getting better.

"How does it make you feel?" she asks after a minute and Baekhyun puts the spoon down before he sighs and looks up from his half-eaten plate.

"Gross," he answers and she sends him a smile. He doesn't know what she makes of his progress but she says she can definitely feel it coming. 

She told him it takes times and not just a week or two, no, a long time. Baekhyun doubted her words at first. How long could it take to actually stop wanting to vomit or hurt himself when it took such a short time to start wanting it in the first place. But Baekhyun has grown smarter than that because it is taking him a long time.

He hates their eating sessions the most. Talking is one thing, it's a little like lying except he can't lie if he honestly wants to get better and he does. Baekhyun has seen just a little bit of hope on the other side that doesn't include razors or white toilet bowls and he wants that. He wishes he could have kept his weight as well though but you can't have everything.

The first time Jihyun had asked him to step on the scale after he was discharged was also the first time since his suicide attempt that he was to watch his weight. And the 53 that had mocked him in red had forced him into a panic attack, a sudden desire to lose more weight, to run to the bathroom and prod at his gag reflex and get it out, out, out. 

But Baekhyun hadn't vomited that day because the door was locked and Jihyun was there.

Well, he hadn't vomited at the hospital. He had found a public bathroom on his way home and forced two fingers down his throat until the horrible feeling of guilt had gone away. Jihyun doesn't know this. Baekhyun doesn't find it necessary to tell her this because it's a step back he isn't exactly proud of.

"Are you full?" she asks when he hasn't taken a bite in 5 minutes and Baekhyun decides that, yes, he's full. He isn't. But the feeling of being full still really terrifies him and sure, he wants to get better, but he can't just magically get better. At least not if magically getting better includes being full. He nods and sends her a smile. 

They spend the rest of the hour talking about how eating makes him feel and Baekhyun isn't sure he's supposed to lie if he's supposed to be getting better, but he can't help it.

-

Baekhyun steps out of the hospital and forces himself not to find the first public bathroom he can. He'll just eat little for dinner tonight and it should be fine. They all know he eats with Jihyun every second Monday anyway. 

A car honks a few meters away from him and when Baekhyun looks up he recognizes Joonmyun's car. The passenger door opens and Chanyeol leans out with a goofy grin spread across his features.

"Hurry up," he says and Baekhyun almost run to catch up with the two of them.

"Where are we going?" he asks when he gets into the car. Joonmyun offers him a smile and tells him they're going shopping for Jongdae's birthday party. Baekhyun stiffens a little on the back seat. Birthdays. Birthdays mean cake and candy and fat food and Baekhyun doesn't think he's particularly ready for that. 

Joonmyun interrupts his train of thought when he starts the car and drives off from the hospital. Baekhyun sinks back into the leather seats and turns to look at the city as they drive past.

He knows he shouldn't be thinking of ways to avoid the birthday party because that is only another setback and still his mind keeps reminding him to eat a diet pill daily the entire week before the birthday party to make sure he doesn't gain too much, to remember that he can always prod at his gag reflex if he gets too full and to remember to jog 5 km to burn off calories. 

He shakes his head slowly. He needs to tell Jihyun about this tomorrow but as Joonmyun parks the car and Chanyeol excitedly hurries off like a way-too-big puppy Baekhyun files it in the back of his mind as 'things that shouldn't be said out loud'.

He smiles as he walks with Joonmyun. The older is talking about what present to get Jongdae and Baekhyun honestly almost forgets what he was thinking about in the car and why he is so afraid of birthday parties, to begin with.

They settle on an RC car, Joonmyun is sure Jongdae is going to love and Baekhyun finds himself laughing when Chanyeol comes back with a pair of ridiculous sunglasses and declares that he's going to give them to Jongdae. Joonmyun just rolls his eyes, but Baekhyun can't thank Chanyeol enough for making him laugh genuinely and he finds himself willing to fight it all once again.

There is a life on the other side of self-induced vomiting and black thoughts. Chanyeol begs Joonmyun to buy him bubbletea and the leader is, as usual, kind enough to do so. Baekhyun declines but promises it's not because of his thoughts and for once it's actually true.

-

The dorm is filled with balloons and other decorations. There's a cake in the refrigerator along with plenty of delicious dishes that has been created by fancy chefs. 

There's a mountain of candy stocked away in the cabinets and Baekhyun knows he shouldn't be doing this. He wants to will himself to move, to go back to bed, Jongdae will come home tomorrow and he will see it all and be happy and they will celebrate and eat it all together. That's how it's supposed to be.

Baekhyun shouldn't be standing in the kitchen at 3.23 in the morning and staring into the sharp orange light of the refrigerator as the coldness seeps into the room. This is wrong. Baekhyun is getting better, right? He is definitely getting better so why is he here, staring at the cheesecake that calls his name in the most seductive way he has ever heard. 

He closes the refrigerator while he tells himself no. First and foremost, he won't get any skinnier if he eats alone. That is rule number one. He can't eat alone. Even Jihyun says this because she wants him to break the dangerous binge-cycle. But he can't will himself away from the kitchen. It's like there's a force field keeping him there, telling him to taste it, if only to make sure that it actually tastes good enough to serve.

Instead of opening the refrigerator he opens the cabinets and stares at the candy. One candy bar won't make him fat. Nobody will notice it has gone away. It's a little like midnight snacking he tells himself. Just one candy bar and then he'll go to sleep. One candy bar won't make him feel guilty either so there will be no reason to do any harm after. Just one.

Baekhyun reaches for one but grabs two unconsciously. Okay, he can do two. Two candy bars aren't going to make him fat and they won't make him feel guilty. He slowly opens the first one. 

As he takes the first bite he closes his eyes and moans lowly. It tastes so good. The softness of the chocolate melts on his tongue and it's just too good. Baekhyun hasn't tasted anything as heavenly in a long long time. 

He quickly devours the first candy bar and opens the second. Just one more. One more is okay and his stomach is begging him for more. More, more, more.

Baekhyun grabs another candy bar from the cabinet. Then another one. The wrappers fall to the floor like rain, Baekhyun too occupied with eating to actually care. He doesn't know how many he's eaten but the wrappers on the floor say 11 when he opens the refrigerator once again. 

The cake looks so tasty and the small dishes of seafood and other delicacies call out to him once again.

So Baekhyun naturally grabs the cake and finds a fork and starts eating. The cheesecake is soft and delicious and it has him moaning in delight as well as he scoops bite after bite down. He hardly even chews it. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, a little voice tells him to stop. It's drowned the second he opens the coke and takes a gulp. He sits on the floor and grabs dish after dish, shoving food inside.

And then suddenly he realizes that he's ruining Jongdae's birthday. He's eaten almost all the food and it's now 4.12 am. He stares in shock at his reflection in the metallic refrigerator door and how it slowly morphs into fat cheeks and a double chin. He's disgusting. He's absolutely disgusting. 

Baekhyun hates himself in that moment. He was doing so well. He was trying to fight it all, he had been getting better.

Sure, he was told recovery was hard, but this - this is just disgusting. This is not recovering. This is not who Baekhyun was supposed to be. This is just the nightmare all along and he'll be getting both fat and disgusting. 

He gets up and scrambles to the bathroom. One last time. He promises that he'll call Jihyun tomorrow and tell her everything. What he's been doing. He almost wants to call her now and just cry, tell her how stupid he is and how disgusting he is but he can't call at 4 am, she's asleep. 

So he does the only thing he knows - he opens his mouth and lets two fingers prod at his gag reflex until he vomits.

Then he feels a strong pain in his stomach and he removes his fingers from his throat to clutch at his stomach. The pain is stronger than anything he has ever felt before, it's dizzying and definitely way worse than cutting his wrist. 

It's nauseating and Baekhyun feels the overwhelming need to vomit again so he does so except this time it's mostly blood. It's disgusting really, as he coughs into the toilet and the blood drips down his chin. 

The pain in his stomach spreads from the left side to the right and he curls into a ball on the white-tiled floor as he tries his best to conquer the pain. It'll go away in a minute. It always does, Baekhyun hasn't done anything abnormally wrong.

He coughs again, specks of blood painting the white floor. His heart is beating faster than it usually is but Baekhyun doesn't notice because the pain is so overwhelming. 

He's hyperventilating when he notices how hard breathing has actually become and he tries to force himself to relax, to stop panicking and to take deep breaths. Breathing doesn't get easier nor does the stomach pain let up. And as he closes his eyes tightly shut to focus on letting go of the pain, he's painfully aware of how similar this situation is to something else. 

He cries out, tears falling from his eyes as the pain gets too intense and then he drifts off into blackness, a sudden feeling of calmness filling him. All he sees is black.

[cosenangel]

This is written on mobile and I can't put a read more on it. Sorry for stinking up your dash! Might be triggering content below. Have added tags for it. ---- I got thinking about why I started counting calories again and doing some lighter exercise at home (like crunches, squats and stuff) and I think it's mainly because of my co-workers. Almost all of them are on one diet or another and/or exercise a lot. Except Grandma S. but she just turned 60 and have COPD, but she still eat pretty healthy. Then there is me, who never really cared before or at least I've never had the energy to do anything about it. The last time I counted calories I realised it was getting to an unhealthy point when I started crying after eating a tasty breakfast that counted up to half my (then) daily intake of calories. Now I'm counting again and I've already cut out quite a few things from my diet, mainly because they give me pain. It might also be because the co-workers still see me as "the one who eats cheesecake for breakfast and chips for lunch" even though I haven't really eaten a unhealthy breakfast since sometime way before Christmas. And chips haven't been a thing for my dinner/lunch since august when I realised they hurt me! The co-workers, who actually are pretty good and very nice people, don't realise they it actually sucks to be joked with about my diet/food intake. There is also the fact that most healthy things you can eat see rich in fiber which I literally am not allowed to eat because of my ulcerative colitis. So yeah... It's all fun.

[lmrphoto]

26. Restos with Gusto

When you live in a small town, you find ways to occupy your time. For me, it was easy - friends and longtime acquaintances know that I like to eat (don’t we all) and I dove into food. These reviews showed me I’ve eaten out a lot, but I don’t regret it. There isn’t much to splurge on out here, so it’s good to make the best of it.here we go:

McDonald’s, 12/22 McLennan St

$

Always entertained going to Macca’s between the cliquey employees, bulldog manager and cast of characters, I mean customers. Wifi’s alright and the food is quick. Watch out for the snakes in the parking lot though.

Mooroopna Pizzeria & Wine Bar, 86/88 McLennan St

$$

Grabbed a parma with Julie here on a Thursday because Bill + Beats was closed! Was pleasantly surprised by the portion size of the chips (fries) and had the Nutella gelato for dessert. Good place for watching sport apparently. Type of place with plastic menus and you have to ask for water. Casual with lots of people in hi-vis (neon construction) clothes.

Bill + Beats, 106 McLennan St

$$

Eaten here several times for brunch, very consistent good quality food. Real gem of Mooroopna, never disappointed. Their dine in chai latte is delicious, as is their coffee, treats, their own take on avo on sourdough with poached egg and muesli, and of course, the pancakes. Have yet to go for dinner but I’m sure it’ll be great. The only critique I have would be if they were more daring with their flavour combos, but hey.

Thai Coconut, 66 High St

$$

Straightforward, fresh Thai food with no surprises. Beautiful dine in plates do reduce portion size but still very filling. Roti and peanut satay is divine. Chicken stir fry is spicy, pad thai comes with just the right amount of bean sprouts. Pad Siew is soft and crunchy all at once. One thing is the laughable numbering on the first page of their menu, but I still wish they did delivery. Would eat again, though I do feel like the owner has rushed us out after 8:30 on a Thursday both times we’ve been.

Fryers Street Food Store, 53 Fryers St

$$$

Oh Fryers. I wish I could fit you in my pocket and take you with me. The decor, wine store, cheeses and walls lined with gourmet spreads steal me every time. Been here for breakfast, coffee and takeaway treats. The Siracha poached egg portion I had could have been bigger, but I’ve heard the pancakes are yum. I will fight someone over the last slice of fudge cake in the display. Oreo cheesecake and English cheese were well received. Planning my next trip and seeing the same waitress who always seems to be there. Good coffee.

Aanagan, 67 Fryers St

$$$

This Indian resto is an offshoot from a Melbourne operation. My butter chicken came with green onion. Questioning the authenticity of this place. New, also overpriced.

Bonjass, 276B Wyndham St

$$

My most recent culinary crush. The sticky date pudding with homemade butterscotch sauce is to die for and the gnocchi could inspire you to quit your day job to write a sonnet type of good. I can’t say enough about the high quality of food that doesn’t belong in an empty restaurant. Every person should find a new place like Bonjass, reserve a table and fend off other diners when this place takes flight. But get in line, because I’m first. Also very affordable for all food made in-house. Tucked away up a flight of stairs with lots of wood accents and a balcony for sipping wine in the summer. Did I mention they do an eighties night?

Degani, 12-13/8025 Goulburn Valley Hwy

$$

Chain restaurant in part of a mall. Wasn’t impressed by the Parma and found the eating area to be quite cold by the windows. Bruschetta was good. Would give it another go but a little far out of the way for me.

Brother Pablo

109 Fryers St

$$$

Bought the worst medium sized cappuccino of my life for five dollars. Took two sips and chucked it. Nope. Milky crap.

The Vic Hotel, Corner of Wyndham and Fryers Streets

$

Feel like setting the kids loose on a play structure? Feel like gambling while they play? And walking out of the restaurant to use the toilet? Also there’s $15 deals and very average food? You’ve come to right place if you’re an ambitious grandparent or worn out babysitter.

Aussie Hotel, 73 Fryers St

$

I can’t begin to start on what an average place to eat this is. But it also can’t make up its mind. Either get bigger TVs or replace them with art, everyone is squinting and not paying attention. And there no ambiance or music. Try to sit in the original part of the building or outside if you can. Also the “Mexican bean salad” is none of those things and should be removed from the menu.

Flanagan’s Irish pub, Corner of Wyndham and Fryers Streets

$

Best place to watch sport on a projector screen or worry about why the tables are sticky. I did both.

Lemon Tree Cafe, 98 Fryers St

$$

I feel like everyone in here for brunch is living their best life and files their taxes. They’re wearing athletic gear after a morning yoga sesh post run coming in for their weekly orange juice catchup. Seriously good food, always packed and the service is rushing to get the food out. Great coffee. Everything here is delicious and well plated.

Noble Monks, 120/126 Maude St

$$

Been here for brunch and dinner. Alright coffee. I got the caramel banana hotcakes and couldn’t finish them they were so large. I thought they were delicious but heard other reviews that they can be dry, so a bit of a hit or miss situation. Dinner is a similar story. Their bruschetta is $11 for one piece of toast cut in half. The lamb curry was far from it and read more as a lamb stew poured over rice. I think this is a good after work drink and aps type of place, but shoot for the morning if you want to eat here. For perspective, at prime brunch time you can still walk up and grab a table whereas at Lemon Tree there’s a wait. Monks is finding its way methinks.

Mahal Green Olive Indian Restaurant, 189 Coriol St

$$

This is authentic Indian and as such it takes a while to get to the table, but it’s cry-over-your-breakup delicious. Would eat again if I don’t want to feel my face (or anything else) from the unapologetic spiciness. Also the Bollywood videos are brilliant. Don’t think I’ll find anything better than this.

Cafe by the Little Gourmet Food Company, Wyndham St

$$

The thing with little places like this is a lot can vary day to day. My first visit I got a lemon slice, bacon and egg roll and cappuccino and had an amazing time. Came back a month later and the roll had changed its bun and lost its insides, cappuccino was average and I can’t honestly say I want to go back and be disappointed again. My first time here on a Monday was so good! Just let me love you. Don’t change. Very charming storefront, decor and outdoor set up. Sad they close Sundays and the patio can be noisy from the road, though the hedge does help.

KFC Shepparton City, 465 Wyndham St

$

Probably the biggest and most ornate KFC I’ve seen, food is consistent with the brand but the corporate architecture is unreal and slightly disconcerting. Hi-vis and short shorts a-go-go. Flagship retail location.

Pizza Hut Shepparton, 525-535 Wyndham St

$

I filled out a customer review on their website for this experience. I can only give the benefit of the doubt and assume it was the teller’s first shift like ever, but it was also on the entire team. Floor was wet, tables and chairs were sticky and the food was bad. Also there were no rubbish bins. Pizza Hut-put-putted no thank you.

Peking City, 98 Wyndham St

$$$

This Chinese-Australian restaurant is a delightful surprise in a place like Shepparton. Reminded me strongly of Ruby’s back in Ottawa. Easy to spend a lot of money quickly but it’ll be worth it, maybe. My Singapore fried noodle the second time was dry and the rice was crunchy, but I believe this was a bad night for Peking. Again, not consistent food. More testing needed.

[daysoutwithbex]

12 months of 2017

12 live shows seen 11 months of living in my little flat 10 kg of Nutella eaten 9 new albums bought 8 months of being in a fabulous choir 7 books read 6 holidays 5 kg of chocolates brought back from Zurich 4 afternoon teas 3 new countries visited 2 outdoor cinema trips 1 hell of a year.

It’s my annual round up of the year. Why? Because it seems I like to dwell on the past a lot; but I’m slowly learning that that is not always a bad thing, it’s how you look at and learn from the past that’s important. However, this year has been remarkably better than 2016, despite my brain telling me on most days that it’s a terrible day, week or month. Looking back, it hasn’t been half bad. I have rocks for friends.

As with every January, I celebrated my birthday with friends and lots of food. There was snow on my birthday - and everyone knows how I feel about snow. I’m quite vocal about it! However, trying to drive back from a meal in Mold was not as fun as one would anticipate in snow. But we had had a lovely meal and an amazing waffle, so not much could go wrong after that.

February was a month of celebrations too. A trip to Iceland where we saw the Northern Lights, albeit very briefly, LOTS of snow, a day in the Blue Lagoon, round trip to Gullfoss waterfall and a flat completion date set. My first concert of 2017 was in Iceland too, in the beautiful Harpa music hall. First of far too many (some might say!). All in the first four days of the month. Surely a good omen. My search for the best waffle, or at least one that beats Leeds markets ones, came to an end with a little van outside the  Hallgrímskirkja church. The bar has risen! The last day of the holiday was World Nutella Day, so it was only appropriate to have a Nutella hot chocolate and take pictures of Nutella with some Nutella!

I’ve always had a ‘thing’ about the 10th of the month, as quite a bit seems to have happened on the 10th of a few months over the last few years. 2017 was no exception, when after six months of waiting, I FINALLY got the keys for my new flat that I could call my own. No more sleepovers and begging for a sofa/bed! And the dog could live there too, where she well and truly rules the roost! I got to decorate (my decorating goes as far as pinning pictures up on the wall) exactly how I wanted to and don’t have to worry about blu tack marks or having to fill in holes from nails or screws (which I always do very professionally, I might add)! Also, I finally had space for a music room which was essential.

We won’t get in to the Six Nations!

My first theatre show of the year was Grease in March. It was also an excuse for a catch up, more food and the most amazing cakes and cheesecake I have ever eaten. I started making marmalade, purely because I could, and had jars of the stuff for months. Luckily that fad didn’t last long and space in my fridge was once more. I started looking after plants and they are still alive; bar one. They are cacti and require minimal attention, but they are hanging on in there and growing well!

I started reading the most inspiring of the books I read this year; “Mad Girl” by Bryony Gordon. It’s an insightful and honest account of living with mental illness. It’s reassuring, honest and witty and makes anyone realise that there is no such thing as normal. It’s far too easy to compare life to everyone else’s and think that you are not “normal”. I’m not normal anyway, and by everyone else’s (I shouldn’t tar everyone with the same brush - a lot of people’s) standards, I would get sod all done if I was!

In April, I bought Nutella a fluorescent raincoat, and she was not a happy bunny! I think she instinctively knew that she looked a bit silly, but there was no way the flat was smelling of wet dog, so silly she may look! Brad Paisley released his best album to date and I have a prized autographed edition to add to my collection. Another theatre show in Manchester at the Palace Theatre to watch Wonderland. An obligatory afternoon tea date in the Townhouse Hotel too made a lovely day.

My favourite new creation was a volcano pizza, which I encouraged and made Dad make beginning of May. I also took advantage of my youthful appearance when the election came around and canvassers needed to speak to the homeowner. Seeing as “my parents are at work” and they assumed I was “at school”, I couldn’t help them, so I had a lovely quiet evening! After a lot of planning, I finally got to show up as a belated birthday present for Emerlee in Gran Canaria (whether she liked it or not; sorry!), but I think Adam and I did well to keep it quite for so long. I also got a little bit of sun and a lot of sunburn including a permanent hand print shaped burn on my leg to prove that I had been there - still visible! To finish off the month, another theatre show; Sister Act, but this time, in Llandudno.

June was the eventful Ikea-trip day, when I bought ready assembled shelves because they were so much cheaper, but didn’t factor in that my flat is significantly smaller than a bloomin’ showroom! Luckily, with four heads thinking, there is always a solution and they live happily ever after in the music room and will never ever leave! I bought the dog some stylish Converse - again, she hates them, but I have some beautiful pictures! I also had a meltdown and a right rant at the Guardian, which was entertaining to say the least. Nothing resolved, but I won’t regret not speaking up, at least?!

As with most months gone by, July brought a new show; Annie in Piccadilly Theatre, London with Miranda Hart starring. Literally nothing that could go wrong there! Also managed to squeeze a couple of visits to Criccieth, and shamefully haven’t been back since. I got to celebrate a special birthday and celebrated World Chocolate Day - of course. I also met Prince Charles at work. As you do.

Then August was here, and it was great! It started with Friends Fest. What’s not to love there? And the following day I set of to Zurich, where I had the most amazing holiday and also got to have a quick trip over to Vaduz, Liechtenstein. Ate far too much cheese and chocolate and came home with no less than 5kg of chocolates.

There was a couple of visits to the outdoor cinema, first to see Moana with my “adoptive family”! - I have never ever laughed so much in a film that isn’t a comedy, but everyone was wearing earmuffs, so it was fine! Then we went to see Fantastic Beasts and I made the major error of taking the dog. A nuisance to say the least. She tried to pull to eat people’s pizzas, wouldn’t stop whining and ate the people next to us’s packet of turkey slices. One woman looked Nutella in the eye and ‘shushed’, which didn’t make a blind bit of difference BECAUSE SHE’S A DOG. She’s staying home next year. The dog, not the woman.

I took another trip to Manchester to see Maddie & Tae in the Ritz, and they were fantastic. Though the countdown to their next album is killing me! I finished off the month in Hickory’s and a stomach full.

Mam and Dad went on holiday in September so I had two dogs under my supervision, and I got to go ten pin bowling with John. We celebrated his 22nd birthday and had a lot of food, again! We managed to escape the escape rooms in Chester with barely seconds to spare (I’m sure TMO would say we did not succeed!) I also went to a jungle birthday party, ate a lot of cake and had a lot of fun. We even had a karaoke session in the car, though I think the whole of North Wales would have heard the speakers and Little Mix booming - I was not in charge of the music, I hasten to add!

The boring part of the month was buying a new fridge freezer and in October it was delivered. Being an adult is great. Back to what I live for - I saw Little Big Town in Bristol on the 3rd and Lady Antebellum, with Kelsea Ballerini opening in Manchester on the 4th of October. I caught a guitar pick at LBT which is now sitting pretty with my Lady Antebllum and Band Perry picks, and I managed to high five Charles Kelley of Lady A when he was walking through the crowds. October was off to a fantastic start.

The next trip, a couple of weeks later was with choir down to London. I obviously took advantage of the situation and made a weekend of it. I saw Les Mis, Wicked and Lion King in succession. Also this month, one of my neighbours tried to give a fish away.

My final concert of the year was in November when I went back down to Bristol to see Maren Morris. A quick look in the Bristol markets to get some churros was mandatory too. The next concert we go to and don’t get to the front to lean on the security bar will be a massive disappointment, as I genuinely cannot remember the last concert I was not with perfect view with not a head in front of me! I finished off the month the same way I started December - with choir. Two very different, but very fun gatherings. Both involving food, so that is always a winner for me.

There was a lot of snow for a short period of time, but I am proud to say that Nutella is just as excited as me about it, although I did not care for her whining and longing stares out the window at the flurrying outside. We had a fabulous time at Robert’s 50th surprise, which was pulled off spectacularly. But we won’t speak of what happened after!

Pentatonix did another Christmas special, and it is the only thing that makes me feel Christmassy ever! Which leads on nicely to my spur of the moment holiday arrangement. I am far too excited to be going to see Kirstie Maldonado, of Pentatonix, on Broadway in March. I will cry.

I managed to nail next year’s Christmas card picture, so you can all wait with baited breath for next year’s masterpiece!

The final few weeks of the year, I caught up with my favourite family, ate a lot, laughed a lot and will be watching closing out the year watching The Greatest Showman tomorrow.

Looking back, especially at the good times, is always nice. As part of a management programme, a recommendation I’ve been given is to take a photo a day of anything that makes me smile, so I’m going to try and see how it goes and if it makes a difference. Keeping a diary didn’t last very long this year, but a heck of a lot of pictures has built this essay and a half!

Now I’m off to plan my Copenhagen and New York trips as they’ll soon be here.

If you’ve read this far, bravo! And a forewarning, a photo a day in 2018 means you’re all in trouble!

Life in lyrics: “It doesn't matter if your days are long, It doesn't matter if your night's gone wrong, Just grab your hands and stomp your feet and sing it” (Sing, Pentatonix)