#if i got anything wrong uhhhhh no i didnt...

[angstflavoured]

A little fiddauthor analysis...

Making this post mostly just to get all of my thoughts out about it regarding how I think it is inherently very toxic on both ends, despite people treating it as more wholesome near the beginning when they were both younger… and the fact that I think it’s very incredibly one-sided. I’m strictly going to be talking about CANON events, not headcanons or speculations or AU’s. If you wanna draw Fiddleford and Ford being cute and hugging and dating, I don’t care, I like a lot of the content for them myself. It isn’t canon to the show and doesn’t affect or harm anybody. That’s what a fandom is and I’m not trying to police anyone, I just think a lot of people misinterpret their relationship and thought it would be fun to talk about it because I find their dynamic really interesting. I’m going to be using a lot of direct quotes and scenes from Ford’s journal, TBOB, and the show, so buckle in baby ! This was supposed to be a quicker and smaller one while I work on my Billford essay, but I had a lot more to say than I thought…

First off, it’s interesting to see how Ford thinks their interaction after so long is going to go. In Journal 3 he says he has “no choice” but to call Fiddleford up to work on the portal because Ford just doesn’t have the smarts to do what he wants to do himself, and he thinks he’s going to have to literally beg Fiddleford to join him. But as we see in the journal and in the show, it hardly takes ANY convincing at all for Fiddleford to drop everything he was doing and leave his wife and kid for months on end to work on a project he knows nothing about. All the info he has he got over a short phone call. It seems like Ford, at this point being so close with Bill and thinking he’s the only one who cares about him, just assumed that most people he used to talk with don’t think about him anymore. He’s had Bill whispering in his ear that he’s the only one who understands him, so it makes sense he doesn’t think Fiddleford will want to do this with him. But from what it looks like, Fiddleford either has been waiting every second for Ford specifically to get back to him, or just has been waiting for any excuse to get the hell away from his family which is… yeesh. Either way, not very healthy regarding his wife and kid. He doesn’t seem to really care all that much about either of them, but more on that later.

Obviously Ford cares about Fiddleford, as soon as he comes down to live with him, Ford hasn’t been so happy in a good while. He missed human connection, despite how good things were going with Bill. Having another person there to talk with was nice. Despite Fiddleford having strange quirks that did irk Ford, he found them endearing and genuinely felt better in his company.

But I think the biggest thing here a lot of people overlook is that Ford only ever refers to Fiddleford as his college buddy in the show, and in the journals as “my assistant.” I’ve seen so many people have Ford call him his partner, but he actually only calls him this like once in the show i think. It’s always my assistant, my research, my theory. Which is funny because Ford didn’t come up with any of this stuff with the portal on his own. Bill was the one that gave him the blueprints. Fiddleford even questions Ford at one point, asking if he had help coming up with them because of how complex they are, and Ford decidedly DOESN’T mention Bill and instead tells him “with hard work, anything is possible.” (Btw he does refer to Bill as his partner multiple times… just sayin.)

The way he talks to and about Fiddleford, Ford is always talking down. He does think that Fiddleford is smart and does think he has a brilliant mind, but he still thinks that he’s below him.

Because Ford has Bill.

And oh my lord, do I not see anyone talk about this. Soooo many comics always depict Fiddleford knowing about Bill existence, but I think the biggest roadblock with their ship and a huge point of contention is that Fiddleford never canonically knows about Ford’s relationship with Bill until after he’s already lost his mind when he’s old. He doesn’t even KNOW that he exists until he’s half sucked through the portal. People ignore this, but it’s so important to their dynamic. Ford doesn’t think that Fiddleford could handle it, and he doesn’t think he necessarily deserves to know. Because Bill is Fords thing. Their relationship is special. Ford is special.

Ford claims he doesn’t tell Fiddleford about Bill because he would throw him in a looney bin, despite their research being so whimsical and ridiculous already. They’re literally building a portal to a different dimension, Fiddleford would’ve believed him. And the way Ford talks about it, you can tell it’s less about Fiddleford thinking he’s crazy and more about something else.

Could F ever truly appreciate the complex fates that brought me and my Muse together?

He doesn’t think Fiddleford could APPRECIATE it. The language he uses, you can tell that Ford knows that Fiddleford would see right through Bill’s facade. And Ford doesn’t want that because he wants to be friends with Bill and he wants to be special, and he’d rather hide Bill and stay in denial than tell his dearest friend, just so he can feel special a little longer.

This is why I think as much as Fiddleford’s romantic feelings for Ford were there, it never ended up going anywhere. Ford would always choose Bill over him. When Fiddleford got him the axolotl pet, Ford quickly threw it out and lied about it to Fiddleford just because Bill told him to. And there’s multiple cases of interactions like this, where Bill will talk down about Fiddleford and Ford will just be like damn… yeah. Here’s a journal excerpt from TBOB around Christmas time. For context, Ford got into a huge fight with a monster and tried to contact Bill to help him, but he didn’t come. And then Bill randomly shows up later when Ford’s at home decorating.

I was almost roasted by Krampus, and where was he? Off inspiring some other scientist? Posing for some tapestry? Were we even partners? He threw the accusation back in my face. “Hey, I’m not the one skipping portal work to carouse with a third-wheel hillbilly with second thoughts about our project!” I started to argue--but he had a point. F has seemed less and less committed to work lately.

Which is INSANE !!! when we see that only a fucking page ago, Fiddleford was explaining how he got in a fight with his wife because he didn’t get her a present for Christmas. After spending multiple weeks and making multiple prototypes for a pair of 6 fingered gloves for Ford.

And if we hop back to Journal 3, there’s a particular interaction with them which is crazy to me. While hiking up a mountain to go to Crash Site Omega, they get into a fight with the Gremloblin, which fucking swoops up Fiddleford into the sky. In Ford’s attempt to get him down, they both end up falling down through the roof of a barn, where Fiddleford gets stuck full of quills and breaks his arm.

Despite our fortune, I have become worried about my assistant. I was able to treat his physical wounds, but I fear there are mental wounds not as easily remedied. For the past several nights, he has been unable to sleep, apparently still haunted by the Gremloblin’s gaze. More alarming is his Cubic’s Cube. It has sat scrambled, unfixed, on his desk for days. I myself have survived many monster attacks without trauma, but perhaps F is more sensitive than I realized…

OH. MY. GOD. The way that Ford talks so condescendingly is enough to make any person's blood boil. It’s the same way when Fiddleford gets sucked through the portal, and when Fiddleford gets pulled back, Ford’s first words out of his mouth are “WHAT DID YOU SEE!”

As much as he cared for Fiddleford… he has no regard at all for Fiddlefords VERY VALID feelings about events that would traumatize literally anyone. But he just pats Fiddlefords back and tells him to get used to it because this is just part of the job and he shouldn’t be whining so much. He does nothing to properly comfort him and scoffs it off like “apparently he’s ‘TRAMATIZED’ or something. I’ve been through so much worse and never had a problem, I don’t get what his issue is.” And then ford is SURPRISED AND APPALLED when Fiddleford creates the memory gun.

Which oohhhhh lord, the memory gun. jesus christ. Such a big example of the distrust between them on both sides. Fiddleford literally canonically lied about destroying the gun and then erased Fords memory about it so that he could erase his own memories in secret without him knowing. And also probably fords sometimes! Not completely canon, but like…. Fiddleford did it once, I wouldn’t put it past the guy. And then when they go to the carnival, Fiddleford hands out his fucking card to Ivan (the leader of the society of the blind eye, who was a teen/early 20s at the time) so that he can erase memories for him that he didn’t like.

Biggest thing we can take away from everything regarding Fiddleford’s character, is that he always takes the easy way out. He ran away from his family he obviously didn’t really care for as much as he should’ve because that was easier than talking it out or divorcing. He pushed it aside for later. Bro was literally looking for a fucken Brokeback Mountain situation, but Ford wasn’t giving anything back to him. So instead Fiddleford constantly made a fool of himself doing things for Ford and tripping over himself to show his gratitude when all the while Ford was entirely focused on Bill. and then he just goes around and starts erasing memories, because it’s easier than having to actually deal with things. Which is why I don’t foresee a reality in which Fiddauthor makes sense, in the way they actually end up doing anything together. Because Fiddleford’s too much of a coward to admit his feelings first, and Ford obviously has his sights on someone else.

And here’s the BIGGEST damning thing, like oh my god.

In Journal 3, Ford goes to a fortune teller (which don’t get me fucking started on how judgy he is to her and how much he talks down about her, DESPITE HER BEING LEGIT AND ACTUALLY WARNING HIM). Long story short, she gives Ford a spiel about how someone close to him is deceiving him. She then gives him a mood ring and says “when this is blue, you may pull through. When this is black, you can’t turn back.”

And LO AND BEHOLD!! OH MY FUCKING GOD, when they’re at the carnival and Fiddleford is talking to Ivan and whispering--

Ford. Looks down. To check if the ring is black.

I took one last look down at my hand and was strangely relieved to find that the palm reader’s ring was still blue. I shoved it in my pocket, collected F, and tried to put the whole experience out of my mind.

FORD LITERALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THE IDEA OF FIDDLEFORD BETRAYING HIM BEFORE BILL. IN FACT, HE LITERALLY NEVER MENTIONS THINKING IT WAS BILL ONCE.

He talks about how they got into a fight at dinner the night before the portal test because Fiddleford was having second thoughts about it being dangerous, and Ford told him to be there or he would get left behind. He’d do it without him.

And when Fiddleford gets pulled through the portal and quits the project, Ford says gooooddd fucking riddance, I never even needed you bro.

F, you weak-willed hayseed! Go back to your doting family and a life of fear and compromise! I weep now not for our failed partnership, but for the golden opportunity thrown away. To think I considered him a friend! I know my true friend. It is my Muse.

One of the few times he ever refers to it as partnership btw. Literally only when they break everything off.

And Ford only starts fighting with Bill about everything after it starts directly hurting him. It literally just seems like Ford is less upset about Bill’s plan being evil, and more upset at the fact that he lied to Ford LMAOOOOO he didn’t like the fact that he was disposable and lesser to Bill, despite Ford treating Fiddleford the exact same way.

At the end of all of this… it may seem like I’m really fighting against this ship, but not in the slightest. I LOVEEEE them so much, but in a way where it would be really toxic and not actually end up with anything happening.

Such a biggg theme when it comes to Ford’s character specifically is yearning. He yearns for success and attention and love and acceptance, but he’s constantly never giving other people those things. Which ends in him not receiving any in return. That is obviously until he gets back from dimension hopping and works on being a better person. When he starts towards healing, that’s when he starts receiving what he always wanted.

There’s so much tension between Ford and Fiddleford it's like disgusting, they were so incredibly gay… but, I hate to say it, it was very one-sided. They did have some fun times together and Ford enjoyed his company for quite a bit, but it was nothing like how Fiddleford felt for him. Fiddleford was always thinking about how Ford was feeling and what he was doing, and Ford never really did that for Fiddleford unless he was prompted to. But he was alwayasyayayss thinking about how Bill felt. And he always chose Bill in the end.

I just see so much of all of this get swept under the rug and never addressed, when it's kind of sad because it’s all so interesting and really adds a lot to both of their characters. They were both so morally gray back in their day, and honestly even more so now that they’re older, and its kinda sad to see that all go ignored. I JUST LOVE TOXIC GAYS SM AND THEY WERE SO TOXIC AND I’D LOVE TO SEE PEOPLE EXPLORE THAT MORE. Hopefully maybe this will prompt some people to think about it like this…….. It’s all so very tragic and their relationship was doomed from the start and i loveeeee shit like that. only misery to be had...

[carlyraejepsans]

i feel like uty improves on things undertale did but it doesnt have the same strong foundation as the original. like all the qol tweaks and secret shit and meta flowey are all super impressive but as a whole i agree i didnt find it cohesive or consistent

eh, sorry but i don't really think UTY "improves" much of... anything from Undertale? you can make an argument for the visuals, which are more detailed and certainly better animated, but i would argue right back that undertale's rougher, retro, "kinda ugly" graphics are a deliberate design choice on Toby's part that he stuck to for a reason. not to mention, even in their ugliness, the original main cast managed to display more variety in shape language and size than the entire UTY one, which seemed unable to break past the "tall, skinny, anime proportioned humanoid" figure for anyone beyond the occasional side NPC (which, credit where it is due, DID have some really creative designs).

the secret shit is part of my critiques, actually! while conceptually cool, i don't think they appropriately distributed their story and lore at all. i feel like if we got to the end of the pacifist run and were wholly confused as to why dalv was even a character in the story, the whole "human attack" backstory was... not delivered properly. now, there's no problem with having secret lore, gaster is right there. but if you DO have it then it shouldn't be... yknow... tied to the main backstory conflict that literally set the story in motion? lol? it felt like a game with dataminers in mind, rather than players. which was unavoidably detrimental to its storytelling.

the bullet patterns and attack designs were very visually creative but what they improved from the original in their cleverness they tanked with their execution. WAYYY too unfair, counting too much on memorization and giving you no time to accustom yourself to the mechanics (shout-out to the gun tutorial that... didn't teach us how to shoot. at all. we figured it out on our own in the axis fight LMFAO)

the meta flowey stuff was a fun idea that only really delivered in the neutral run and didn't amount to enough anywhere else to justify his presence in the game imo. like, i lost my shit during his fight too, don't get me wrong, i like when fan stories let him be a little FREAK. but everything else was just so... wasted? i almost didn't see the neutral ending at all because the way pacifist handled flowey disappointed me so much.

uhhhhh running was a good addition and the music fucked hard. can't say anything against those two, nossir. not sure it'd go so far as to call them improvements tho, just nice touches

[superwingscentral]

'Chopper' Family HCs

Should they have a surname like the Wheels family? Something something Chopper maybe

Holy shit we got a full-quartet

my characters now 👹👹👹

Okay!! So its either:

[ 1) They're all siblings, the order goes like this: (new edit): Runi -> Dizzy -> Sparky -> Zoey (although methinks dizzy is still older bye.) ]

[ 2) Runi and Dizzy are sibs, Sparky and Zoey are sibs, theyre cousins ]

Scenario 1 (and this post is full of this one lmao)

They don't have parents (I imagine them having risky jobs like rescue workers. what if one job went wrong?) Mom was a firefighter, dad was an EMT.

Runi and Dizzy has seperation anxiety purely because of that (Runi manages it better than Dizzy though) Zoey and Sparky was pretty young so they dont really know

Their parents knew Grand Albert and Poppa Wheels. Also Paul too I think

At first Dizzy was kind of against to becoming a rescue worker (for all of them) because what if the same thing happens again?? But she wanted to become one. Then later she changed her mind.

Anyway enough with the angsty stuff

For looks, Dizzy and Zoey took up after their dad. Runi and Sparky took up after their mom

Runi is aroace and Dizzy is bi bc i said so. Runi is he/they bc i also said so

ALL of them have extreme sweet tooth. they would eat pure sugar. They also love spicy stuff (Zoey is really good at making spicy burritos)

(during his firefighter training) Runi got a scratch all across his mouth (ty @/worldairportwonders 's doodle for the insp) and it damaged their vocal system badly. They had to cover his mouth during that time for the treatment, why not spice it up with a cool looking mask? Thats where his mask comes from. Although their voice is now a little raspy.

Zoey is really interested towards biology. She collects dead bugs, plants, etc. to cut them up. On the other hand, Sparky doesnt really like them so Zoey sometimes annoys him with it

Runi loves chemistry, mainly fire interests him. They watch lot of vids about fire experiments, chemical reactions, etc. He never tries anything with fire though (they also watch Curie's experiments)

All of them likes drawing in some way.

Runi left first to become a firefighter. He always dreamed about becoming one

Dizzy left next, to join SW. hard for her at first but after seeing Runi she did it

Zoey left next to become a doctor

Sparky stayed at their house, but he got a hose installed etc etc. there

Then Zoey and Sparky both joined SW :] Runi didnt though, but years later he joined the new generation team

About their house, they had a base-like house on a mountain (like Dizzy's base in season 2) It's not used as a living space now since all of them left but they still go there for reunions etc.

Runi and Zoey are good with cooking, Dizzy and Sparky are good with baking

Whenever they bring someone they're dating each of the family member has different reactions. Runi is chill, Dizzy stares at them constantly, Sparky is nice but also wary, Zoey will try to test them.

When they play Splatoon (they play it. actually majority of them play it. because i said so) Dizzy mains Dynamo, Zoey mains Glooga Dualies, Sparky mains Hydra, Runi mains Range Blaster. These mfs mastered slow weapons and theyre the best defenders

Uhhhhh I don't think I have more rn. I'll reblog when I have probably

[strwberri-milk]

Can i get uhhhhh.... 1 Fluffy Kaeya x autistic fem reader, please?

hopefully this is what you were looking for!! i also didnt want to go too much into detail since i know its not a one size fits all and i didnt want to stereotype too much

Kaeya does his best to try and look for any cues that you might give him subconsciously so he can keep track of what he's doing right or wrong. He also tries to ask you if there's anything else you want him to keep in mind just so he can be the best partner there is.

He's very good at keeping any safe foods or cooking things for you to make sure you eat. He takes any aversions you have into consideration and does his best to make sure you eat if you accidentally forget to.

He also loves listening to you talk. Thankfully for you, if you've got a lot of thoughts to share he's got more than enough time and patience and also loves to ask related questions. It's a bonus to him for you to talk to him and teach him so many things.

Kaeya also works on his flowery language and never minds clarifying what he's saying or meaning if the meaning gets lost behind his words. He never gets mad at you for wanting him to explain himself better and honestly, it helps him just become more straightforward which Diluc appreciates.

[poorlilpubby]

Oh im about to fucking rant and vent, i dont care that this is my porn blog im fucking ranting on here. Not to doxx myself but yo hurricane milton was actually fucking shit. Jesus christ, not only a leak in some room that idk the name of, causing my parents to be such little fucking bitches about it. And i was fucking high as hell. Do you know what thats like? Having to be a voice of reason for mfing grown ass adults in their 50's? While im high? Im literally having to lean against the wall to keep myself upright and yet im still being more reasonable than both of you. I shouldnt have to straight up tell you guys to take turns talking. Then there was a leak in my room, which genuinely was the least worrying thing. Like it got close to my pc WHICH I BUILT, literally my prized possession, but i cleaned it up. Too bad i had a pad of watercolor paper go to waste. And ughhh im lucky my house wasnt destroyed but oh my god my entire, basically my entire town, has no electricity. Every single streetlight is down and oh god the people here cant fucking drive they're literally yelling at each other every second. AND GUESS FUCKING WHAT THE ELECTRICITY WONT COME BACK UNTIL AT LEAST WEDNESDAY. its friday now. it was gone since Wednesday night. Ugh im glad we have a generator. But oh my fucking god. The worst. Absolute worst part about this. Is that both my parents are just home, since they cant work. Im literally walking most of the day, in my boots bc i refuse to buy walking shoes, bc i cant stand being at home. And yeah i should invest in some good shoes, they're no more than 30 bucks probably. But i genuinely refuse to spend money. Im fucking broke and im saving up for college rn bc my dumbass was so fucking dead set on leaving this fucking state, absolutely going no contact with family but that didnt fucking work out. I didnt do any backup bc well god being alive was so much fucking effort and it still is. I would do anything but be next to my parents bc genuinely there isnt one conversation where they point out smth wrong with me or judge me. And yet im doing everything for them cuz im the only one whos being fucking competent rn or ever honestly. God i need my fucking job applications to be seen but they're not being fucking seen. And the hurricanes are delaying the one place thats giving me training, and its gonna look good on my resume since its somewhat closer to my field than just a retail job. And i cant even fucking do sexwork bc i frankly dont want to do sexwork for the rest of my life. I wanna keep my face hidden. Im just trying to make a few extra bucks but that doesnt seem to work out bc i just wanna have privacy. Ughhh and its so fucking oversaturated too. Anyways, im in fucking hell uhhhhh thas ittt 😁😁😁😁

[biggreenstache7]

Yeah

(for context)

YAY!! I'll keep this brief because i'm already planning on writing a huuuge txt file with all of The Lore I Have In My Head in case i never actually write it into a story but still want people to know more about my favorite guys ever BUT here goes a Nick Birth: This Has Almost Nothing To Do With SiIvaGunner

so the whole universe is like . just A World where robots are created and have been being created for ages to fulfill specific purposes like attack and defense and whatever . and in very specific instances either by contact with the outside world or pure chance they have like a really low chance of becoming sentient. this was never planned but at some point a few decades in people sorta start accepting it and treating them like. Normal Society Members. but the ride to that point is uber hard and the woodmen came to be like fairly early so they still had to deal with that shtick

ok worldbuilding over. nick himself was created on may 17th 1965 and in a moment where, because the factory he was made in was super fucked and where malfunctions constantly occurred, most of the robots made in that brief period came out broken right out the gate, and the ones that didn't were highly damaged, nick included. (hence his broken chestplate that he has no way of fixing)

Since the few robots that did "survive" could barely fulfill their designated purposes of attack if any at all, experiments began being ran on them to see if they could serve any other purpose, mainly that of defense and, most importantly, fire protection. this also went uber wrong and resulted in (atleast for nick) growing flowers sometimes out of her control and a weird sort of attraction to fire while still being Very Definitely able to be harmed by it.

so those were the first 17 years or so of non-sentience and robot shit and whatever until one day the factory was set ablaze in a freak accident of unknown origins and nick was one of the only robots to actually make it out, with that probably being the moment he gained his consciousness. then immediately fell from a great height into a trash chute and definitely forgot about anything that had happened to him for the past 17 years, having it only vaguely appear in dreams and such for the rest of her life and proto haunting her forever. tldr sentient robot whose factory was FUCKED UP

after that he spent a few years wandering the streets of new age (city that got 'turned' into grandiose city waay later on) fumbling jobs and just sorta living anywhere and everywhere and constantly trying to learn more about the world & arts & herself until Uno Dia wandered into a library where the dude who ran the place thought she could be like a janitor and that's where she stayed for the next like 2 years until actually becoming a librarian himself.

then also met john there not long later cause john was looking for law books and BOOOOOOOOO GAY PEOPLE GTFO 👎! you know the drill also it's 1989 . and ignoring the literal 30 years of story i have in the middle they are both in the here now. noooo way. somehow even as a tldr for the Absolute Origins this is pretty big. also it only actually merges with siiva in 2016 meaning that they have almost 30 years of history together before that LOL.. its a lot. but then in siiva uhhhhh i just pretended that she was there all along in like kfad2 and john just had her secretly working as a cameraman because he didnt wanna have to fill forms for a plus one and have to come out as gay in the process. and in spooktacular iii hes not there physically but john is always calling him like every hour and shit because hes clingy. as fuck. wahoo

so much shit i missed but that was sort of the point i guess. so #notsiivagunnercore

[my-lunaberg]

Ive accidentally reached the post limit so Ive basically been doing my liveblog in my notes app, i wrote all of this while watching the February 4th 2022 vod

Oughhhhhhhh the way Sams literally begging

Oh the "present" is gonna be a clock isnt it

Oh nvm its a cake, which is just. so evil man, cakes have terrible saturation but Sam doesnt have anything else so ofc hes gonna be grateful even though its shit

Actually, now that I think about it, I think I was definitely wrong about Dreams manipulation tactics changing with his goals. Like, i still dont think he wants to work with Sam or be 'friends' with him like with Tommy during the exile arc, but he is still doing the thing of breaking people down and then building them up with a fascimile of kindness so that theyll listen to him

Im assuming the time passed irl is the same as the time passed in-universe which means that Sam has been alone in the prison for 4 days but Dream is a lying motherfucker whos telling him that its only been one day

Okay now hes saying its been 2 days but hes still lying

HE DID GET HIM A CLOCK IM GONNA LOSE IT

Okay he wants to compare hkmself and Sam, Im very curious bc this will hopefully grant us some insight into how Dream like, actually percieves himself and his actions

Okay, two things:

1. Dream being like "[the evil bunker full of everyones sentimental items] was just theater" has some serious Wilbur vibes ngl

2. Dream is sooooooo obsessed with Tommy istg

Dream is asking Sam what bad things hes done aside from manipulate Tommy and be dramatic and Sam is like "uhhhhh idk tbh......" as though Dream isnt the guy responsible for Lmanberg blowing up thrice

Sam is basically asking Dream if the things Dream did were wrong/bad and its like, you cant do that, you cant cushion your opinions on someones bad action in this kind of insecurity, especially if youre talking to someone known to be manipulative!!

Ouhhghhh the way Dream can basically make up anything he wants about Tommys time in exile because barely anyone, but esepcially not Sam, visited him

"How was it my fault that Tommy was exiled" I dont even have anything to say, Im just kinda enamoured by the realization of how little people other than Tommy and maybe Wilbur actually know about the exile

Dream just mentioned the Egg and 1. I had already basically completely forgotten about that and 2. The timeline of Drea involvement with the Egg is like, he briefly checked on it back when everything was still kinda kicking of, didnt worry about it for weeks or even months and then he was in jail for a year and he basically completely missed all of the Egg Lore like damn, I hope Punz properly explained all that bullshit to him lol

God, Im projecting so hard rn but Dream weaponizing his own genuine suffering in order get what he wants which also shields him from having to confront the ways it was made him suffer and how it actually affected him is so relatable

Ive been spoiled so I know theyre gonna try and make c!Dream more sympathetic later on and i know a lot of people really hate that and honestly, I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that he didnt get his own POV/only got it very late which gives people less opportunity to sympathize or empathize with him and also really dehumanizes him. Idk this is kinda complex and I'll probably make a seperate post about it

Im going to lose my mind, Dreams monologue about how everyone is the hero in their own story and a villain in many others literally sounds like a thesis statement, like if the Dream SMP had a kids show-esque "message" like so many people inexplicably want it to, it would be this more than literally anything else

OHHHHHHHH the double meaning of Dream telling Sam that he built the prison for him. mwah, perfection

"Dream said he wouldnt lock anyone up in the prison" WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN TRUST HIM

Ooooooooooo Sam grouping himself in with Dream..........

HES TAKING SAM OUT OF THE PRISON

Hes giving Dream full access to the prison theres no way this could possibly go well

Sam as the users manual for the prison vs Dream as the revival book...........

👁👁 HES KILLING SAM??

SAMS DEAD VOD OVER

[nekomc]

scenario : you are shy and do not believe that you have a chance with them ft. o. tooru, b. koutarou, k. tetsurou (f!reader)

T. OIKAWA

➞  oikawa was quite easy to find, due to the constant swarm of girls that surrounded him

➞  you silently wished that you had the confidence they had to go up to him

➞  because you were so shy, you felt as though you didn’t have a chance to talk to him, let alone be with him

➞  so it really surprised you when oikawa came up to you in class one day

➞  “yoohoo! you’re yn right? someone said that you’re good at this, can you help me?”

➞  you could only nod at first out of shock because oikawa just came up to you!! was this even real?

➞  it wasn’t that awkward, since oikawa was quite the talker, and knew how to fill the silence

➞  he was still attentive, though, and really appreciated your help

➞  so the next day, when he had trouble again, he came up to you once again for help

➞  this time, you broke out of your shell a little, contributing more to the conversation and throwing in a joke or two

➞  your heart swelled when oikawa would laugh and seemed interested in what you had to say

➞  oikawa started to come to you during class and breaks regularly, sparking up a conversation more often than asking for help

➞  you became more and more comfortable around oikawa, and you noticed that your confidence has grown the more time you spent with him

➞  one day, he invited you to a game, and of course you agreed, although you were a bit hesitant at first

➞  on the day of the game, you felt a bit out of place, since you didn’t know much about volleyball

➞  but you still tried your best to cheer him on 

➞  you try to meet him at the end of the game, but once you found him, he was already surrounded

➞  you immediately became disheartened and started to walk away

➞  but oikawa caught sight of you and called you over, asking you to wait for a bit, since he didn’t want to be rude to his fans

➞  when the crowd dispersed, he gave you a big smile and a hug

➞  “yn-chan, you came! did you have fun? you should come to our next game!”

➞  you felt a bit better as he asked you about the game, but he still noticed that you were feeling a bit down

➞  unfortunately, before he could ask about it, he had to leave

➞  the next day, he asked about it during class

➞  you felt uncomfortable talking about it with the chance of your classmates hearing, and told him so

➞  so you both decide to talk about it in the short period of free time he had after school

➞  “yn-chan, did something happen at the game?”

➞  what were you supposed to say? that you felt as though you weren’t confident? that you wished you had more courage to take the chance with him?

➞  instead, you said, “i was just tired after all the cheering, that’s all!”

➞  he saw through your lie, and he didn’t want you to continue feeling whatever negative emotion you were feeling, even though he wasn’t sure what it was yet

➞  his expression became serious

➞  “yn, don’t lie. what’s bothering you?”

➞  you didn’t want to lie again

➞  he put a lot of effort into building your friendship, and truly cared about your feelings

➞  so you told him the truth

➞  you told him how you used to feel as though being shy meant that you would never be able to be friends with him

➞  you wished that you had the confidence to come up to him to talk to him instead of the other way around, like his fans

➞  and you still felt as though the confidence you’ve gained through your friendship wasn’t enough to go to a relationship of beyond friends

➞  you didn’t realize that you had basically confessed to wanting something more than being friends until oikawa’s eyes widened

➞  “yn-chan, was that a confession?”

➞  you were too shocked at your own choice of words that you couldn’t speak

➞  he laughed, and said, “ah, you’re so cute! but i can’t believe you beat me to it!”

➞  “...beat you to it?”

➞  “to the confession. i like you too, yn.”

➞  before you could respond, he received a call from iwaizumi, telling him to hurry to practice

➞  you were left standing there, stunned

➞  oikawa called you after practice, and he told you that being shy isn’t something that has to be an obstacle

➞  he loved seeing you slowly breaking out of your shell as your friendship grew 

➞  he promised that he would still continue to help you build your confidence until you were comfortable with who you were

➞  “hopefully, i’ll be able to do that as your boyfriend, and not as just your friend. is that ok, yn-chan?”

➞  of course, you told him yes

➞  oikawa kept his promise throughout your relationship

➞  you were grateful to have him by your side, helping you become more comfortable and confident with your relationship with him, and most importantly, yourself

B. KOUTAROU

➞  you and bokuto began your friendship in the beginning in your third year

➞  you and bokuto shared a class together and you would often see him around at lunch as well

➞  hearing him talk was amusing sometimes, but you didn’t think much of it since you didn't think someone as cheerful as him would want to be friends with someone as shy as you

➞  you don’t talk much so carrying on a conversation wasn't a strong suit of yours 

➞  anyways….. One day during lunch your two best (and basically only friends)  suggested eating lunch in the classroom

➞  you bought snacks from the cafeteria for you and your friends and were on your way back to the classroom when suddenly you bumped into someone 

➞  startled and embarrassed that you weren't watching where you were going, you quietly apologized to the person you bumped into 

➞  you looked up and noticed it was bokuto from you class

➞  “OH!!!! Uhhhhh y/n-san right? From my class? Don’t worry about it !!!!! I should have looked where i was going too. OH COOL are those (insert snack)???? I love those!!”

➞  you felt overwhelmed from his very loud and friendly personality and gave pretty vague responses 

➞  you excused yourself and headed back to your friends 

➞  to your surprise, bokuto began speaking to you at school more often and frequently catches you at lunch 

➞  “HEY HEY HEY y/n-chan, do you wanna come with me to the cafeteria to buy some (favorite snack)?”

➞  after that you had a really nice friendship with bokuto and began joining him at lunch with akaashi 

➞  you enjoy the balance between someone so chill as akaashi and someone as cheerful as bokuto 

➞  bokuto might have been loud, but he never once made you uncomfortable or gotten you into situations that would make you nervous   

➞  You didn't talk much, so he talked for the both of you 

➞  After a while you start developing a crush on him 

➞  You loved the way he made you feel less insecure about your shyness

➞  However, you still felt like you could never reveal those feelings to him

➞  You felt as thought bokuto was someone who would be better off with someone who was as bright and cheery as himself, someone who would match his energy all the time and not hold him back from being himself 

➞  You felt like if you were with him it would just burden him 

➞  However you were dead wrong 

➞  One day your teacher had asked bokuto had asked bokuto to stay back for lunch so that they could talk about his grade, so you went ahead and met up with akaashi 

➞  You ended up sharing your feelings and insecurities about bokuto and when you were done, akaashi didn't say anything and was just staring behind you

➞  You turn around to see bokuto and you began to feel very very anxious 

➞  Akaashi got up and excused himself

➞  You refused to meet eyes with bokuto as you were starting to mentally prepare for rejection but instead you were met with a “OH THANK GOD Y/N-CHAN.  Ummmmmm ive actually liked you for quite a while now!!!!!!! I really really like you but youre just so quiet sometimes that i was pretty sure i was just annoying you this whole time and you were just too nice to say anything!!”

➞  Oh… well you definitely werent expecting that

➞  After this you guys had a talk, happy that your feelings were mutual 

➞  Bokuto re assured you sweetly that he didnt think any of those things you thought about yourself 

➞  He might not be the smartest student, but he was self aware and knew that sometimes he get really out of hand

➞  He would tell you that being around really helps to keep him calm and isnt bothered at all by your shyness or how little you spoke sometimes 

➞  Being around you really taught him to stop and listen to people, since he had to pick up on your non verbal cues in your friendship so that he wouldn't ever accidentally make you uncomfortable 

➞  You guys might have had very different personalities, but you're definitely the rocks that holds him down and are there to help him through every one of his mood swings (which he loves you so much for)

➞  In the end you both were insecure, but with your growing relationship and with how sweet bokuto treated you , you never really had the time to ever feel like you weren't enough for him 

K. TETSUROU

➞  midterms were coming up, and you’ve been trying to study these past few nights

➞  keyword : trying

➞  the more you stayed up, the harder it was to study the next day

➞  it was also hard to stay up in class

➞  kuroo noticed it in class, the way your head sometimes slipped past your hand, your lids visibly getting heavy as you almost doze off

➞  and one day, you do. doze off, that is

➞  he couldnt help but find you cute, but he also felt a bit bad, since knew what it was like to stay up, studying, and having to go through the day with little to no sleep

➞  so the next day, he decided to bring you a caffeinated drink (imagine that he brought you your preferred drink, like coffee, or an energy drink)

➞  you were already in class, getting your things out

➞  you looked down to pick something up from your bag, and when you looked back up, kuroo was standing in front of your desk, a drink in his hand

➞  you both stared at each other for a few seconds, both unsure of what to say

➞  kuroo was the first to speak

➞  “i noticed that you’ve been like, falling asleep. Wait i swear i wasn’t trying to be creepy or anything, i just happened to see it-” 

➞  he stopped and just placed the drink on your desk with a smile

➞  “anyways, i hope this helps.”

➞  you smiled back and thank him quietly before he walked away

➞  throughout the day, you drank it, and it helped you get through the day

➞  you felt too shy to go up to him and say thank you in person, so instead, you took a sticky note and wrote a note on it, placing it on his desk during your last break

➞  the next day, he brought you the drink again, with a sticky note attached to it

➞  on the sticky he wrote ~no need to thank me, you seemed like you needed it! if you ever want to study together just let me know, i’ll keep these drinks coming your way ;)~

➞  over the next few days kuroo would keep placing drinks on your desks with sticky notes that had chemistry jokes or pick up lines

➞  some of them were honestly really bad,,, but you couldn’t help but laugh 

➞  “what did one charged atom say to the other? i got my ion you” 

➞  “did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? it went OK”

➞  “do you have 11 protons? Cause you're sodium fine”

➞  “forget hydrogen, you're my number one element”

➞  (kuroo would stare at you from his desk just to see you laugh ) 

➞  one day you placed a sticky note on kuroos desk, accepting his offer to study a little bit during lunch,, so you two began seeing each other during that time

➞  you were still really shy around him, but thankfully kuroo didn’t mind a quiet study session with you, and he was really helpful!

➞  after a while you realized that you started to grow a crush on kuroo 

➞  he was a little intimidating at first, and looked like the sort of guy that messed around with girls (he certainly wasn’t shy to playfully tease you)

➞  but he was honestly a really kind person, who was intelligent and cared a lot about his friends 

➞  you also admired how hard he worked to keep up his grades and be volleyball captain at the same time 

➞  because of this you felt,,, very inferior to him

➞  he was attractive, smart, kind, friendly, and volleyball captain 

➞  compared to him you didn’t really feel like you were anything special

➞  you felt as though your crush would get you nowhere because you felt like kuroo deserved to be with someone who was way better than you 

➞  you felt like he was way out of your league 

➞  but one day during one of your lunch study sessions kuroo turns to you and starts talking 

➞  he seemed really flustered for some reason and said “ m-my favorite attractive force is van der waal’s force. Can you feel it? I'll move closer if you can't”

➞  you laughed at his silliness, until he actually went ahead and sat closer to you

➞  you were shocked and felt yourself grow flustered at his closeness 

➞  the both of you stayed silent until he spoke up and said 

➞  “hey y/n, i've been meaning to say this for a little while but, i like you” 

➞  well,,,, you certainly weren’t expecting that 

➞  you weren't sure of what to say, so you just looked at him like :o

➞  kuroo panics and starts to talk his mouth off

➞  “im sorry if you don't feel that way, i don't want to ruin our friendship so please forget i even said that-”

➞  you quickly shook your head, stopping him

➞  “no, no, I'm sorry, i was just surprised, i actually like you too.”

➞  when the test came around, you both get a really high score

➞  you both excitedly showed each other once you got the chance to during a break

➞  you were super proud of each other, seeing how all of the hard work paid off

➞  the upcoming weekend, the two of you went to buy drinks and walk around as a treat

➞  as you were walking with kuroo, you realized how happy you were to be with him

➞  he still continued to tease you endlessly but respected your boundaries and knew when to draw the line

➞  he was always attentive, caring, and mature, and always managed to make you smile

➞  he reminded you of your worth through little actions, and you were grateful to have someone like him by your side

requested by @teasbees-knees

[wasflypaw]

I'm in the mood to open up about shit that's been bothering me today so like.

Hi I'm 21

I Am An Adult

I am an adult that uhhhhh doesnt know how to function like one though. I didnt have very much of a childhood (neglectful mother 😔) n I was taken away at the age of 12

I have special needs/learning disabilities that nobody really... Helped me with. Alongside diagnosed severe anxiety and also selective mutism meaning I was shit at learning, terrified to do Anything, And also was completely nonverbal

I'd get stressed and bite/scratch myself in classes and its safe to say the teachers didnt know what to do LMAO

I failed most of my classes. I went to college (sixth form) and that was also too hard to understand. Failed those. Seriously my anxiety was debilitating one of my classes was Photography and I was too scared to take photos

I'd get yelled at a Lot if I failed to do something which made the anxiety Worse and I'm not joking I came home Every Single Day with the anxiety that I'd be randomly shouted at for something I didnt know I did. Fun. Never learned how to deal w my anxiety

Not Only That but since I didnt know what a hyperfixation was back then or that I was even autistic my interests had taken over my life and they were all i could think about in school. Since that stuff is never taught i never learned how to deal w hyperfixations

I got sent to a special needs college thing that was Supposed to help me learn things like cooking and tidying up and going out by myself n interacting w people. But once again they didnt know how to help me and I was taken out bc they just kinda had me sit in a corner on the internet all day lol

I find politics hard to understand and also maths and geography

I legit dunno how to cook and I learned how to tie a knot a few months ago (...I'd been avoiding it) I never learned how to stop stimming or deal w my hyperfixations

I found out what stimming was at like 19 and I'm like Oh Shit it's Not normal to sit and make weird noises and rapidly flap my hands around??

I have a legal guardian

It doesn't help I'm also very... not grown. I was born Way Too Small. I didnt grow taller than 5'0. People seem to think I'm 12 a lot

That's why I'm so proud of all my analysis recently - I'm still not sure how to word things sometimes and my hyperfixation tends to take over my life and have me post repeatedly on one topic but still,,,,

There are analysis posts on here that I find hard to read and understand like if they use huuuge words and stuff (that's why u shouldnt say stuff like "ppl are too dumb to understand my analysis/ppl who dont understand this lack critical thinking/my takes are too nuanced for you" in ur posts. Dont insult intelligence) I also still dont know Maths i just. Cannot. I think I might have Dyscalculia

I've kinda. Self-taught myself stuff like my art and my vocabulary since I spend all day every day in the house on my phone. I've learned by myself how to tone down hyperfixations and step away if something makes me too uncomfortable and stuff

That's why I tend to look up to the ppl I follow and get really happy when any of them approve or find my posts cool lmao i have my own opinions but I'm scared they're wrong a lot

I admit I get very passionate sometimes but I genuinely enjoy analysing the DSMP - this is also why I dislike direct arguments / why I block on sight if I see an uncomfortable take or why I delete posts if I find out OP is a minor bc. I'd feel like a fool sat here arguing w kids over MC roleplay AJDJFK .. also cause I have a lot of followers and I wouldnt want anyone dogpiling them

I think my age might tie in to why I'm so sympathetic towards c!Tommy and have 0 sympathy for c!Dream. And why I Will say "he's a kid" bc when I was 16-17 I certainly thought I was mature but I really,, wasnt. There's still so much room to grow. And c!Dream is My Age. "c!Dream is a young adult he's still young!" Bitch I barely know how to function and I know right from wrong I have zero sympathy for that man

I dont have a job since I just. Cant get one. I draw cats and sometimes get like £15 out of it sometimes. I'm just Here and Vibing. I literally just exist. I cant leave the house while its sunny bc I'm allergic to sunscreen

I still find it way more comfortable to hang out around ppl my age rather than anyone below say... 18 because I'm Still an adult regardless of my struggles (sorry to any of my mutuals who are minors this is probably why I dont interact w you much ajdjrk)

I'm always so ashamed of this fact like yeah I'm a 21 year old yeah my hobby and also hyperfixation is talking about Minecraft YouTubers bc I dont have a job 😭

I'm the shining example of "these disorders are usually spotted early in kids! - but what if you literally Never help them and just let them grow like that lol"

[kaori-flowers]

The end of Tommy. Idk if it's sad, im not good at writing sad I don't think but uhhhhh yeah I hope you enjoy? Idk. Sorry ;-;

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Wilbur watched from a distance as Tommy walked up the hill towards his tent. He dumped his bag of wood out near the small fire pit he made and groaned. His arms and legs were tired so he walked into his tent and flopped on his bed. A sharp object jabbed him in the side and made him sit up quickly as he hissed in pain. He pulled the object out from under him and looked at to find it was a book he'd never seen before. He sighed and opened it as he laid back on the bed, reading it in his head. He got through a few sentences before sitting up quickly, reading it more seriously now. After he finished the page he buried the book under his bed quickly. Then he left the tent and looked around slowly, scanning for Wilbur. Wilbur stood up on the hill in the distance and Tommy glanced at his necklace. He pulled it off and looked at the black and red coloring with the carved words in it. He growled and stomped down to the beach, stopping at the edge of the water. He threw it as hard as he could, hurting his arm, into the ocean.

"Tommy!"

Wilbur was finally able to get close to Tommy without being in immense pain. He hugged Tommy as soon as he was close enough, almost knocking him down. Tommy hugged him back, gripping his shirt tightly and almost crying.

"I thought you were mad at me! You just disappeared!"

"No, never. You're my little brother and I love you."

Tommy calmed himself down, managing to hold back his tears. He took a deep breath and sighed, relaxing a little. He let go of Wilbur and took another deep breath, letting it out slowly. Wilbur gently kissed Tommy's forehead and looked him all over, making sure he was okay. He was for the most part. Tommy sighed and relaxed, pushing Wilbur back a little.

"Okay, I have a plan. So go away."

"What? But i-"

"Trust me Wilbur. Go away. Please, I have a plan."

Wilbur hesitated, not wanting to be separated from Tommy for long again. He trusted his little brother though, and followed his instructions. Tommy took a deep breath and walked over to the small forest area by his tent. He smeared mud on his clothes, and ripped them open. Then he picked up sticks off the ground and scratched himself with them. Then he broke them and tossed them close by, before lying down on the forest floor. Wilbur watched from afar, worried, and wondering what he was doing. Tommy moved in a slightly weird position and closed his eyes, relaxing his body. Attempting to look unconsciously normal. He waited and waited. Tommy felt like each minute that passed was an hour. He dislikes laying there in that position and was almost ready to give up.

"If you're hiding from me to try and scare me it's not gonna work Tommy."

Dream's voice gave him home and he remained still, as the sound of gravel and leaves crunching got louder. Tommy purposely groaned loudly, and sat up which gained Dream's attention. Dream rushed over to Tommy and dropped his axe, looking him over as if he actually cared.

"What the hell happened to you?"

"I don't know, i fell out of the tree and- wait.... where's? Where's my necklace?"

Tommy looked around as if he was actually concerned on where it was. He stood up and fake stumbled a little, and looked around quicker. Dream grabbed Tommy's arm and held it tightly to prevent him from moving away.

"It's fine. It's okay, I'll just make you a new one."

Dream sighed, but wasn't actually bothered that he lost the necklace. It meant nothing to Dream, it was just something he made to keep Wilbur away from Tommy. He could simply make another that does the same affect to Wilbur. Dream doesn't care, the necklace is not even close to important to him.

"No it's not! First I lose tubbo, my best friend! Then I lose my compass that Wilbur made for me. Now he won't come near me and won't even talk to me. Now I lost your necklace that you made for me. All I do is lose things!"

Tommy let himself fall on his knees and he quickly pushed himself to cry. It wasn't hard for Tommy to make himself cry since he was full of sadness ever since he left. He was constantly on the brink of crying and even taught himself how to turn it on and off. Like a light switch. Dream didn't know that though and it was the first time the ever seen Tommy cry. It made him feel weird and uncomfortable, especially since he's never seen it before.

"Tommy, it's okay I promise. Come on we can look for it together. Where were you last at?"

Tommy stopped crying but his face and eyes were red from it. He wiped the tears off his face and stood up off the ground. Tommy looked around slowly before shrugging and making Dream sigh. Dream looked up at the trees, scanning the branches for anything shiny. Dream was sure they wouldn't find it, and just planned to make another one later. Tommy and Dream walked around the small forest together, checking the ground and trees.

"Here you can play with this while we look for it. Just don't hurt yourself with it."

Dream handed Tommy the netherite axe that he had worked so hard to get. Tommy smiled as he let tears slide down his cheeks and swung it around. Dream looked at him and mentally scoffed at the sight of him. Dream still seen Tommy as a child that didn't understand anything, and wasn't smart enough to figure things out. Which wasn't entirely wrong, but Tommy was gon a crush Dream now that he knew. His plan was already in motion and he wasn't gonna back down at any time. Wilbur followed along in the distance, curious about what was gonna happen.

"Let's check the Nether."

Before Dream could object Tommy was already jumping in the portal. Tommy waited for Dream on the other side and when he arrived he started walkimg again. Dream hesitated a little, knowing Tubbo was somewhere in here, but let him keep going. Wilbur waited a few minutes before going through the portal and looking around for them.

"So Tommy..... How have you been since I last seen you?"

"Alright. I gathered up enough fire wood to last me 3 days at least. Unless you burn it again.... along with my armour.... and my food...."

"Yeah....."

Dream awkwardly looked away from him for a few seconds but continued to follow him. Tommy rolled his eyes, knowing Dream couldn't see them right now. Tommy swung the axe around carelessly, making Dream tense. At any second Tommy could drop it into the lava below and it would be gone. Forever. Dream would have to take another 4 days to get or even make another one. Which was irritating because if he was busy making an axe then Tommy was unsupervised. Which meant anyone could visit Tommy when Dream wasn't around. Dream didn't want that. He didn't want Tommy to know anything besides what Dream told him.

"Hey Dream close your eyes and stop walking for a second. I have a surprise."

Dream stopped and hesitated a little but closed his eyes slowly. Tommy quickly took out his pickaxe and mined himself out of reach. He stood in the middle of the block that was floating out over the large lava pit. Wilbur tensed up and joined Dream's side, not caring about distance anymore.

"Okay open."

"Tommy what are you doing?!"

"Wilbur shut up. Deam if you make any movement towards me I'll jump."

Dream slid his foot back in place and he remained still as he watched Tommy intently. Tommy threw the pickaxe down in the lava and then Dream's axe. Dream's jaw clenched but he didnt move from the spot he was in. Tommy emptied his pockets of everything, throwing it into the lava. Across the sea of Lava Tubbo and Ranboo watched out on a small cliff. Halfway down under them was Fundy and Nikki, and above was Techno with Philza. None of them knew each other was in the nether, because they were all in 2s. They were collecting resources but stopped once they seen Tommy, glued on the situation in a large mix of emotions.

"Tommy don't do anything stupid." Dream scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"You. Lied to me."

"So what?!"

"You betrayed me! You-"

"Tubbo betrayed you!"

"BECAUSE YOU MADE HIM. He wasn't gonna exile me but YOU pushed for it. All of this is YOUR fault. All of your actions is what lead up to this Dream. This. Is on. YOU."

Tommy's words were filled with pure hatred as he spoke, glaring at Dream. It made Dream feel a little uncomfortable and even made him glance away a few times. Tommy's stare felt like daggers of fire to Dream, and he found it extremely uncomfortable.

"So what Tommy! I-"

"You hid all the invites. You lied saying Tubbo burned his compass. You don't let anyone visit me. You don't tell me ANYTHING about how the others are doing. You-"

"Tommy calm down, you're gonna get yourself hurt."

"Calm down? Pssh, yeah as if. As if you actually care Dream. You don't care about anyone. Not even your HUSBAND. You've spent more time with me than you have with him. How fucked up is that? He's your husband Dream, you're supposed to be WITH HIM."

"Tommy you are crossing the line!"

Dream took a step forward, towards him and Tommy stuck his foot out over the block. Dream growled but froze on the spot, not moving again. Tommy didn't put his foot back on the block though. Instead he balanced on one foot, making everyone hold their breath. Dream didn't want Tommy to kill himself though. He wanted Tommy to stay alive and suffer slowly. He wanted to see Tommy so broken he couldn't get out of bed, and that's when he'd kill him. In front of Tubbo so he would see what he did. But it wasn't Tubbo's fault, and Dream's plan wasn't going to happen.

"There was NO LINE. You kicked me out of my HOME, and made me lose my best friend. My BROTHER. All my family. I have no one left! I fucking hate you!"

Tommy's scream echoed through the nether, filling everyone's ears. Philza looked away, not wanting to see another son die. The first one was already hard enough, and he didn't want to see this one. Tubbo's chest hurt horribly and he felt like tears were going to burst out of his eyes any second. Nikki always seen Tommy as little brother as well so she was worried for his safety. Fundy was annoyed and upset because what Tommy said was the truth. Dream had been spending so much time with Tommy and not him. And they were married. Technoblade felt wrong, and bad that he didn't provide help to Tommy when he clearly could have. Instead he just laughed at him and left him with barley anything.

"Tommy... Did you really have anyone to begin with? Wilbur is dead. Your so called father and older brother MOVED ON. And your so called best friend? He moved on as well. He's president Tommy. You have no one because you are no one."

Dream didn't believe that Tommy would actually jump and kill himself. So he decided to say it out he seen it, hitting him hard as he was already down. Although Tommy had already made up his mind, and as much as he was scared he wasn't backing down. He had no where else to go and Dream was right for the most part. Tommy actually had no one except Wilbur now, and so why not join him?

"And who do you have? Punz? Sapnap? George? You're as much as a no one as I am."

Tommy scoffed, rolling his eyes at Dream. His cheeks glistened as his tears slid down them and dripped onto his clothes. Tommy took a deep breath to calm himself and then let it out slowly. He looked at Wilbur and sighed slowly, relaxing a little. He was ready. He was embracing his fate.

"Wilbur."

"Tommy."

"Take care of Tubbo for me."

"Wha-"

Tommy fell backwards, off the block as he closed eyes slowly. Dream's eyes widened at the fact that he actually did it. Tommy actually jumped. Well.... Technically Tommy just fell back off the block, accepting his fate. He put his arms out and kept his eyes closed enjoying the soft wind feeling. Which only lasted a few seconds.

"TOMMY NO!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"TOMMY!"

"NO TOMMY!"

"TOMMMMMMMMMMYYYYY!!"

The nether was quickly filled with screams as Tommy plummeted down towards the large lava ocean. There was absolutely nothing anyone could do for him. As soon as Tommy hit the lava ocean he was engulfed in flames, and dragged under as if he was a cinder block. Tommy felt a string of pain for a few seconds then he felt nothing. Tubbo had tears streaming down his face as did Nikki. Dream was frozen in place and Technoblade held a blank face. Despite Techno's blank face his insides felt like they were being crushed with a truck. The nether got extremly silent except for the Ghasts and the constant cracking of the lava. Without saying a word Technoblade pulled a flower from his pocket, and threw it in the lava ocean. Phil took a shaky breath, knowing by the pervious screams that he only had 2 sons left.

[officialleotolstoy]

Oh Dolokhov/Hélène Brainrot We’re Really In It Now, aka Dolokhov/Hélène playlist annotations!

I stole several songs from a playlist my friends have and I’m not gonna put those on this list, I won’t pretend I came up with those

The ship playlists (since they aren’t for canon couples) are very much based on my headcanons. We don’t get to see them interact literally ever so I’ve just extrapolated what I can. Several of these songs are at least alluding to sex, I don’t really think they actually slept together for various reasons I can enumerate if someone asks, but it’s more about the vibes of the song.

Casual Affair - Panic! At The Disco

It’s literally in the title. Bestie how much more explanation do you need? I don’t even like this song but it’s got the right energy

Those Nights - Bastille

“Aren’t we all just looking for a little bit of hope these days? Looking for somebody you can wake up with?”

Being drawn to each other because of mutual loneliness is a Thing in my interpretation of their relationship, and this hits the nail on the head.

But It’s Better If You Do - Panic! At The Disco

“Praying for love and paying in naïveté”

Again, mutual loneliness and desperation for anything resembling love. Also the “isn’t this exactly where you like me” bit fits because they won’t admit to liking each other outside of their weird intimate moments.

Hurricane - Panic! At The Disco

“Drop our anchors in a storm”

The circumstances of their lives arent super fun at the moment so they find refuge in each other but in a very weird kind of unhealthy way! “We are a hurricane” sort of alludes to knowing that you’re causing problems/your relationship isn’t great.

Almost (Sweet Music) - Hozier

“I’m almost me again, she’s almost you”

It’s about not really being In Love but kind of convincing yourself you are because it makes you feel better in the circumstances. I don’t think either of them were fully into their relationship for various reasons. Not as in they didn’t want the other, more that they were both too aware it would never work for long.

Hall & Oates - Satchmode

“I want to be in love again, with you”

This one’s about wanting the idea of love and companionship more than you actually like the other person, which I feel like kind of fits. This song is framed as one person in love with the other and one hesitating, but i think this works for both of them to hesitate.

Feel Something - Jaymes Young

“Touch me, someone, I’m too young to feel so numb”

The I have tried like six times and I can’t word why I think this song works. I don’t even like it, I skip it every time, but I think it’s got something to do with loneliness and desperation for love driving them to look for it in places they wouldn’t normally? Who knows. Send me an ask if u do.

Another Place - Bastille

“Don’t make promises to me that you’re gonna break”

They could never actually be together for SO many reasons and I think they’re both pretty aware of that. They have no desire to pretend that their relationship is anything other than what it is (“we only ever wanted one thing from this”).

When You Were Young - The Killers

“You sit there in your heartache, waiting on some beautiful boy to save you”

I do not think Hélène expected Dolokhkov to save her from anything except maybe monotony and loneliness, but this song slaps and if I can stretch the lyrics to work, I will

broken - lovelytheband

“I could be lonely with you”

Almost every song on here (including this one) is just. We’re messed up and I know we won’t really find love in each other but we might find solace for a while and be less lonely so uhhhhh wanna kiss me or what

Bleed Magic - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

“You stand up, stand up, before I drag you down”

They are NOT good for each other! Toxic relationships uwu

Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood

I believe in bi4bi Hélène/Dolokhov

Enemy Fire - Bea Miller

“Sweet words from a serpent’s tongue”

This song is kinda complicated and parts of it don’t fit but the energy of “everything sucks including you but at least we can hide from the suckiness together” is sorta there. Originally I just added it for the soldier vibes because I was testing out songs but I realized i can fit some of the lyrics so on the playlist it goes

Angel of the Small Death and the Codeine Scene - Hozier

“Her sweetened breath and her tongue so mean”

They are horrible and cold to each other as a love language. This song is essentially just “Wow my evil scary gf is so hot” and you’re right Fyodor. She is.

Shut Up and Dance - WALK THE MOON

I won’t lie this one’s mostly a joke, I just think the vibes of telling someone to shut up as (maybe because) you’re falling in love with them is Dolokhov/Hélène energy. Ignore all the parts about wanting to be with her forever and her being his destiny that is not why I added it.

Lone Ranger - Rachel Platten

“I’m just gonna leave, ‘cause baby I’m a lone ranger”

I do not think Dolokhov was intending to stay with her forever at all. Very rude of him. However, she probably also knew it wouldn’t last forever, she’s not stupid.

House of Memories - Panic! At The Disco

“Promise me a place in your house of memories”

This is very much post-duel, their relationship has fizzled out but it was pretty important (do I mean emotionally or to the plot? I’ll never tell) and deserves to be remembered.

American Beauty/American Psycho - Fall Out Boy

“I’m the best worst thing that hasn’t happened to you yet”

SO MANY of these lyrics are so good for them like. Hélène’s beautiful Dolokhov’s a psycho... “you take the full truth and you pour some out” can you imagine them being open and honest with each other? Yeah, me neither. “We were pity sex” They were just sad and lonely! That was what allowed anything to happen at all in my head (not sex but bear with me it’s not my fault those are the lyrics). “All those dirty thoughts of me, they were never yours to keep” because Hélène is married to someone else, they really have no right to think of each other that way.

Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne

“He wasn’t good enough for her”

UNIRONICALLY THIS SONG. Hélène’s complaints about Dolokhov staying with them are just the quoted lyric. “They had a problem with his baggy clothes” yeah Dolokhov’s not as rich and bougie and the rest of them and he’s certainly rough around the edges. And then the skater boy ending with a successful music career vs Dolokhov ending with a successful military career and a great reputation and both the women in the songs having sad endings...I’m not wrong.

Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet - Fall Out Boy

“Does your husband know the way that the sunshine gleams from your wedding band?”

The affair vibes. The AFFAIR VIBES. And the concept of “I will never end up like him [the husband]/ behind my back I already am” in reference to using Hélène and deciding he hates her right after deciding she’s hot...okay! I see you kinning Pierre, Dolokhov. You ARE being just like her husband :/

You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi

“Shot through the heart and you’re to blame”

This is just Dolokhov’s massive I Hate Women monologue condensed. Stop blaming beautiful women for YOUR attraction to them maybe 🔫

Death Valley - Fall Out Boy

“Don’t take love off the table yet”

This is not a table sex joke this is not a table sex joke this is not a table sex joke this is n-

I didnt add it for that reason it was about a vibe but then. I realized. Now the original reason doesn’t even matter.

Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner - Fall Out Boy

“I’ll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake”

Tell me the quoted lyric does not SCREAM Hélène/Dolokhov. You can’t. Also “I’ll weigh you down I’ll watch you choke/You look so good in blue” really captures hatred as a love language.

This is Love - Air Traffic Controller

Ok I stole this from my friends’ playlist but I did want to explain it because it’s not JUST Dolokhov and Hélène in my mind. The whole jealous fool second verse gives me Pierre around the duel energy as well

Bad Boy - Cascada

“Be my weekend lover but don’t be my friend”

Bernie Sanders voice I am once again asking you to hear me out about the unironic meme songs on my War and Peace character playlists. It’s got the refusal to admit that she actually likes hanging out with him down. The line “after some time you just pushed me aside” referring to Dolokhov teasing Pierre about their affair because he got bored. “I dont need you in my life again”...YEAH I’m fairly sure they dont interact in canon again after that.

Hayloft - Mother Mother

“My daddy’s got a gun”

This song started playing on accident once when I was listening to this playlist and I was like huh. It fits though. The gun thing is twofold: 1) Though he is not her father, Pierre does have a gun in the duel and 2) I think Vassily would happily shoot Dolokhov for his relationships with Vassily’s kids. It’s also just the general forbidden love vibes mixed with the violence vibes.

affection - BETWEEN FRIENDS

“I’m looking for affection in all the wrong places and we’ll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces”

Have I been clear enough about my thesis that their relationship is based in mutual loneliness? Also, I like the acknowledgment that this is in fact the wrong place. I think they’re both very aware of that.

Walk Away - Franz Ferdinand

“Yes I’m cold but not as cold as you are”

This song is for them post-duel. Especially the “I cannot stand to see those eyes as apologies may rise/I must be strong, stay an unbeliever” because 1) I hear the word eyes, I think of Dolokhov and 2) I think she’s too smart to believe any apology he would give her, she knows he doesn’t really mean it. The song kinda reads as someone trying to convince themselves they’re happy that the relationship is over, which I think is definitely what happens for both of them.

Van Horn - Saint Motel

“Tell me do you hate me? Or do you wanna date me?”

Obsessed with the dynamic of “I like you but that’s embarrassing for both of us I’m gonna act like I hate you instead”

[autisticangus]

anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt. 

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him. 

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident. 

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

[vulpiximisa]

finished age of calamity

i liked it but i dont like people saying “better story than breath of the wild” because botw didnt really have that much of a story. like yeah the memories but it was like... backstory/lore...??

story wise, i dont know what i was expecting. this being the “everybody lives” au that we all wanted was... actually great. we didnt have to play as the champions dying! 

bruh (i played wind and lighting first) when that cutscene happened, i couldnt stop screaming. its cliched and i should have thought something like that would happen given eggbot did time travel from the beginning but im so glad i didnt get spoiled for it because i was so moved

rip teba tho because everyone else got along really close with the champions and him meeting revali is just “uh... he certainly was a guy”

im living for every revalink interaction, as in every moment revali makes a jab at link, including the final move where everyone is “go gett’m!!” and revalis just “dont fuck it up!!” gosh this game fed me, thanks for the good

bro i cant stop crying over mipha and sidon. the fact that he came from the ruined time and “i wont let you take her again” im 😭😭😭😭😭 

astor was a disappointment, but i wasnt hoping too much for him in the first place, he was very generic from the get go

i did not expect to like kogha and his OC yiga henchman sooga so much (if ur asking u already know but yes they are yiga husbands) the moment kogha didnt run and stayed to fight with sooga, then bowing his head to his sworn enemy because of his losses, im just 😩😩😩 anyway im HOPING sooga’s not actually dead because this is the everyone lives au

i was hoping eggbot’s origin was a little more complicated but i guess i cant expect too much from a zelda game. kinda mmm that zelda had NO RECOLLECTION of eggbot. like, girl you made that. i know shes busy and a kid but kids are usually really impressionable. iunno

also speaking of zelda, glad the king is alive and apologizes tho i feel like she also apologized but SHE DID NOTHING WRONG. 

.

gameplay wise, yeah its fun. i started listening to some reviews and i guess its easier than other warriors games? i played the first hyrule warriors but its been so long i dont remember what that was like. plus its more botw infused so theres that.

not a fan of.... the clothes changes? i mean, i guess that was a thing in the other hyrule warriors and botw link had outfits but they dont do anything here? and i finished the game so the champions and zelda also get outfit changes but uhhhhh iunno

my fav to play as is mipha, urbosa and impa. i want to get good with revali but most of his  moves use him in the air and its kind of annoying. and teba is fun if you only use his strong attacks. i prefer yunobo over daruk, no offense, but i think gorons should punch (darunia was fine from what i remember, i think his hammer felt like it hit harder than daruk’s boulder breaker) sidon is fine but his strong move is kinda hard to get a hang of, same with king’s form change.

monk is fun, fairy queen is too big and hestu is kinda too gimmicky

.

uhhhhh yeah. i didnt think this would have any tie ins with botw2. so if anything, botw 2 is like the majoras mask to OOT while aoc is the... proper timeline? 

[mousehole5000]

Yukina and hiei!

twins!!! ty!! this got long so under the cut it goes!

hiei

favorite thing about them: he has that Code and sticks to it and he is extremely loyal and does care deep down but not in a way where hes like actually a really soft person. like hes still a demon and a bandit and he shows how he cares in different ways. i just think hes neat

least favorite thing about them: still could stand to not just constantly insult everyone like i know its his thing but come on. also that attitude gets him into trouble more than once so ya he could use a slice of humble pie

favorite line: "he’s so neck deep in repression even i feel sorry for him” from the dub

brOTP: i want him and kuwabara to hang out more its so funny when hiei doesnt understand things/is wrong and kuwa’s not afraid to call him on that which is good for him i think

OTP: with yusuke they speak the same language and yusuke just decides to give him a second chance and trust him immediately and openly and i just. i need a minute. hiei is literally ready to die for yusuke during chapter black after previously saying that dying for someone else is a waste when yusuke sacrificed himself for keiko and i just. i need another minute

nOTP: i dont really care for him with kurama i know its the most popular ship in the fandom and i dont think its bad or anything just think theres better ships for both of them. ultimately kurama loves his human family and life while hiei barely tolerates humans and idk they just seem like their values are too different to work out imo

random headcanon: bad at all kinds of human games. board games, party games, video games etc. tries to get yusuke or kurama to teach him how to be better but they give him a lot of bogus advice instead bc they think its funny. which it is <3

unpopular opinion: idk how unpopular this is but i dont believe he will ever get taller and i hope he never does. manlet forever

song i associate with them: okay sorry for emo blogging on main but i think of yusuhi whenever i hear / fall out boy - last of the real ones

favorite picture of them: this iconic moment

yukina

favorite thing about them: cute and sweet and so KIND even after her first experience with humans is completely appalling but also her coldness (nice) for the ice maidens.... chilling (nice)

least favorite thing about them: never gets to do anything other than sit around and be a healer she doesnt get enough development :/ but its not her fault. togashi just isnt very generous with female characters

favorite line: kuwabara (definitely crying): “sorry i just got some dirt stuck in my contact lens" yukina: “you dont wear contacts” - from the dub


brOTP: literally any and all of the girls. shizuru would be good she just keeps collecting these blue haired demon/spirit girls. she would be protective of yukina but also teach her what she needs to know about the world

OTP: hmmmm.... keiko..... ive literally never seen i dont even think theres a ship name it its unexplored territory and i want to chart it and someday maybe when i get all the sangcheng out of my system i will. i just idk theyve both got a lot of conviction and both brave going to the dark tournament to follow someone they care about and in yukina’s case didnt even know for sure was there and i like the potential for their worlds to crossover. i have many thoughts
....

nOTP: hmmm dont really have one? her relationship with kuwabara is cute although i do think he idealizes her a lot but he could learn a lot through that imo

random headcanon: she would continue say a lot of weird demon things to humans even after she knows its weird just to mess with them. i think she would like messing with humans and find them funny


unpopular opinion: not sure how unpopular it is but shes very strong and is actively choosing to be kind and peaceful like i know her power doesnt get showcased in the show or manga much but in that video game touga tells us that shes uhhhhh very fucking strong and i love that

song i associate with them: hmmm just bc its a bop / eurythmics - here comes the rain again

favorite picture of them: BONK

[blookmallow]

uhHH well i finished rusty lake roots... there are still many things i do not understand but wow that sure was. a lot 

-----

oh. ohhhh i was right 

albert did get into voodoo

i mean really if you have enough blood to write a sentence with it i think thats more of a “there is blood” scenario but i guess that’s just semantics really 

anyway uhhHHh that happened,

oH god what the fuck ok apparently mary’s dead now too

i dont know what killed her other than like, old age, maybe. shock?? could’ve been a heart attack if she. saw what albert did to his brother and ida 

:( 

the kid with the glasses Was emma’s son and she Did commit suicide in her grief when he went missing 

still dont know where he came from in the first place but nevermind 

what the hell kind of egg is that (the second thing. the first thing is a potato) 

oh

it’s. it’s that kind of egg, isn’t it. 

is that what that looks like???? i was under the impression human “eggs” are like, microscopic, like you can’t visually see individual sperm cells and i couldn’t really find a clear answer trying to look this up and got kinda freaked out about it anyway (pregnancy/uterus functions fuck me up sdfgggh) but 

APPARENTLY, AFTER MURDERING HER (AND HIS BROTHER) ALBERT HAS DECIDED TO HARVEST IDA’S EGGS FROM HER BODY AND CREATE HIS OWN FETUS SOMEHOW HIMSELF 

I DONT THINK THATS HOW THAT WORKS BUT UH. ALBERT???? WE NEED TO TALK 

god fucking damn it i liked him so much and wanted to understand him and i still think it’s heavily implied he was abused and/or bullied by his siblings and he’s definitely mentally unwell and definitely had some kind of rivalry going on with samuel, definite “wants what he has” situation but 

i guess “murdered his brother and his wife, apparently harvested eggs from her corpse to Make A Child With Her after she rejected him” is uuhhhh not really redeemable is it :’   ) god 

or im not sure if she actually rejected him or if he ever made any advances on her in the first place but. definite “she belonged to me/should have been Mine” possessive behavior ramped up to 11 

i still think he needed Help and maybe wouldn’t have turned out like this if he got help and had support from his family but my god what a. series of events that was  

also this guy keeps showing up everywhere. i dont know what he is but i like him even though he may be some kind of shadow of impending doom or a personification of death 

BIG fan of the implication here that i may in fact have been a ghost the whole time, subtly influencing the events of my own family destruction in an effort to sacrifice them all to resurrect myself 

is that what all this is. did all this happen because william was haunting everybody trying to get the pieces to revive himself. was this man willing to destroy his entire family line for the chance to live again 

oh FUCK THE KID’S STILL ALIVE 

HE DIDN’T DIE IN THE WELL HE’S JUST BEEN LIVING DOWN THERE THIS WHOLE TIME. OK

how did nobody hear him calling for help or anything... 

guess what

i fucking killed the hand again 

apparently albert also knows about this??? and never told anyone??? fucking why??????? he doesn’t seem to be Using the dude for anything, there doesn’t seem to be any reason to keep him down here unless it’s just some fucked up revenge thing on his sister 

also i dont think it was albert’s hand that i stabbed Again bc he’s not bleeding when he shows up but 

is he the one who has been keeping him alive?? why. what purpose is served in keeping him alive if he’s not using him for anything. if hes just trying to get back at his sister why not just kill the guy or leave him to starve down here. Albert What The Fuck Are You Doing 

hey buddy!!!!! its u!!!!

i was wrong it seems like mr. crow is not a voodoo curse victim but is actually probably the first vanderboom brother. the not william one. i forgot his name :’) and i still definitely think william’s going to become mr. owl

i found this picture later (it was shown before but i didnt remember) (also has. puzzle stuff on it but anyway) its definitely the same suit thats it isnt it 

i dont want to go searching for the pic of the other brother and the one of mr owl bc ill probably just find spoilers if i do that but Hm. hmm.

is this how the revival ritual works. do u become a bird. is that why everyone else at the hotel was animals too

that would mean the brothers have already done the ritual once though and would’ve needed a bunch of sacrifices to do it before so maybe not 

albert’s bizarre science experiment child seems to be living at the house now, which i was gonna say “how the fuck did he explain this to his family how is she just Here Now” but then i realized i think she and albert might be the only ones left now 

ida and samuel are dead, emma is dead, mary and james are dead, leonard isn’t dead but i think he might be... out fighting the war at this point 

also that dog is still here and i didnt previously question why the cup was called “cup with liquid” and not “water” and i really, really wish i didnt know the answer to that mystery 

try to guess how this dog provided liquid. the answer is not blood 

rose helped frank get out of the well, not sure if she knew why he was down there in the first place or that he’s her cousin, and. well 

:( 

sorry things had to be this way, bud

digs up my entire family’s remains to make one hell frankenstein skeleton

sure 

o fuck i did it i got all the things

i like how some of these are like “gouge out an eyeball” and then there’s like “cut off some hair” 

some of this family suffered more than others for this ritual, shall we say

theres probably Reasons for each of the parts though like, frank’s hair grew super long from his years in the well, so while the removal of a lock of hair itself wasn’t really a Sacrifice/suffering on his end its symbolic of what he went through

william’s the one being revived so it makes sense to use his heart

eyes could be... Too Late To See The Truth about albert or something, ida was a fortune teller so, Inner Sight or w/e, also a pair of eyes taken from a couple

emma died from her grief so we have her tears

james... died from drinking the elixir? so indirectly his tongue could symbolize that?? i guess???

rose means red, she was born through murder, she got her bio mother’s red hair, we have her blood 

albert could be seen as a mastermind behind a lot of these events, and a lot of this was caused by the mental illness he never got help for, so we have his brain

leonard lost his foot in the war

the only one i cant figure out is mary’s teeth, i have no idea what that one could mean unless she Did die of old age and “teeth falling out” is meant to symbolize that

theres.... three teeth and she had three children? i have no idea 

anyway DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL 

hm. unpleasant 

the other brother Confirmed to be mr. crow but its still possible mr. owl is Not in fact william but he could be talking about future william when he Becomes mr. owl, maybe 

this is such a mess ok so william was reborn as a baby, the grandchildren looked like they were consumed by the roots but we see rose holding the baby so at least she’s still alive (and probably the boys too if she is) 

and this process also created the seed which planted the tree so... william’s death and subsequent rebirth also created the family tree?? i guess?? so his family was brought to ruin one by one possibly through him influencing events from beyond the grave, all to revive him, which started the family in the first place, and there’s definitely a lot of... “all time is one/timelines can be altered” not direct Time Travel but just sort of. time as a nonlinear web that the original vanderboom brothers seem able to transcend 

hm! hm. theres still. so much i dont understand but i have at least one more game left im not sure if the other things in the bundle are related to rusty lake or just other things by the same developers 

[taezhu]

mafia!mark

you're drinking coffee and working on an assignment for university when you first meet mark

You remember that so well because it was quite a meeting indeed

Or rather you didnt exactly meet him at all - his existence was kind of thrown in your face

you had taken out your earphones because you could hear some shouting and were a little confused

and you see one guy run past the window of the coffee shop and you think there must be some drama

but then another man runs past and then darts back into the coffee shop and looks around at everyone

and he meets your eyes and nods once, running over to you and taking the seat opposite to you

and you're dumbfounded because what is he doing?? Why is he sitting with you??

He pulls off his jumper, tossing it beside you, messes up his hair and removes his face mask

ooh hes kinda cute

what are you saying hes literally probably a criminal

he shuts your laptop and reaches for your hand and obviously you pull your hand away and he just looks at you with wide eyes

"please can you pretend to be my girlfriend for like 2 minutes, it's really important"

and you're apprehensive but he genuinely looks scared and you feel kinda bad for him

"Just so you know, holding my hand doesn't automatically make you my boyfriend"

he smiles uncomfortably and looks down to the table, attempting to be a boyfriend you assume

so you genuinely ask him a question about it

"I'm guessing you haven't had a girlfriend before then?"

he looks up to you and doesn't answer for a moment, then shakes his head

so you hum, pulling put your phone and showing him the first thing that comes up on Instagram

"who are you hiding from? someone tried to mug you?"

he shakes his head and tells you he can't answer that

"Can I at least know your know your name?"

and he tells you its mark, and you're a little confused because he doesn't look like mark

"I'm from Canada, visiting a friend out here"

and there wasnt much other conversation because mark got a call and dashed out of there without saying another word

but you don't forget mark, you remember him quite clearly and were kinda annoyed that he just dashed

Though it was pushed to the back of your mind with everything else going on

Until one day hes standing at your front door with flowers and you're apprehensive at first but he tells you sorry

"I shouldn't have just left without even saying bye, or thanking you or anything. It was a dick move"

or rather he told the others what he did and they told him to apologise to you, which he did

but you'll act like that's not the case for now

and mark kind of shoves the flowers in your hands and then goes to walk away but you stop him

"you're not even going to come in for tea?"

"I dont drink tea"

"Do you have any friends, mark? Be honest"

And mark tells you, after being basically forced to sit down in your front room, that yes he has some friends

Though he doesn't exactly explain them as friends and they seem more like work colleagues

Judging from how mark talks, they probably were friends

as it turns out mark is just awkward and when you offer him a beer you had in your fridge he takes it and hes fine after a little alcohol

he is literally a completely different person and starts to tell you about him

that he was born in Canada but came over here for work and that he works with his friends and that he does stuff with information

and he tells you about Jisung who he looks after and their friendship sounds cute enough

He stays till pretty late just talking with you and doing dumb stuff

It was kind of a date but part of you thinks that he is an oversharer too

and its pretty dark out so you say he can sleep on your couch and expect him to say no

But to your surprise mark just says okay and lays down and pulls a blanket over him straight away

and you're like… okay then goodnight

thinking things to be normal you wake up the next morning to someone banging on the door

and when you walk out mark is jumping around trying to pull his clothes on

he meets your eyes and is like "can you hide"

of course you kinda freak out but mark ushers you into the bathroom and pulls the door shut but doesn't close it

"If you hear me shout, go out the window and go to the white glass building on fifth, ask for Haechan"

and you nod because you're confused and expect to have to jump out of the window but no

mark opens your door and is greeted warmly by someone else and it seems to be friendly

You peek around the door and see him with two other guys and one of them catches your eyes

"omo mark, is this the girl you were talking about?"

Mark looks back to you with wide eyes like uhhhhh

"The hot girl? One you wanted to ask on a date?" the other one asks

oof mark wanted to murder jisung right there and then but he just stared wide eyes and tried to interupt but haechan cut him off

“Did we interrupt something? Are you guys in the middle of something?”

It must have been the blanket and you wearing shorts and a tank top that supposedly gave it away

And in the meanwhile you’re just standing watching the three of them with no idea what is going on

Until haechan walks forward to introduce yourself and suddenly you’re bffs with two of them and mark is standing awkwardly watching you all

So as it turns out, mark is just super awkward in general and doesnt ever have a clue on what to say to anyone

Bless him, he has barely any conversational skills yet he still somehow tries

Back to what actually happens

Mark is dragged away by haechan and jisung who introduce themselves, but he messages you later since he left his phone number to apologise again

And you tell him to stop apologising to you because he doesn’t need to so mark apologises again

yeah, thats something that happens a lot

You guys go on an official date, but not a date, a few days later

To the cinema actually to watch something, since you were both looking at watching it before hand and were talking about it

and it’s pretty cute, mark picks you up and you get there a bit early so when you’re waiting you can hear some old ladies saying that you were cute

mark’s cute cheek blush… unbeatable

everything is pretty normal so you’re hoping that maybe this one date, it will be the one where everything runs smooth

And it is for a bit

You’re almost 40 minutes into the movie and it’s not actually that good so you start thinking back to mark telling you to look for haechan if he screamed

You never actually brought that up to him again

But you did think that that was a bit weird

Especially since he seemed super creeped out and actually scared

somehow you’re coming up with the strangest of conspiracy theories and mark must have noticed because he turns to you and asks if you’re okay

then goes on to tell you that he thinks the movies is really boring and that he hasn’t been paying attention for a while now

It was a great opportunity for you to flirt a little, and you’re so close to telling him your other ideas but

As per usual, your plans are interrupted

This time by two guys who come into the cinema screen and mark notices and suddenly tells you to look forward and not react

The two guys come and sit a few rows behind you and you definitely can tell something is wrong

Five minutes pass and mark tells you to go bathroom on the other side of the cinema and wait until he texts you

And of course you do it and you wait in a stall with your feet pulled up because you’re genuinely scared

Ten minutes and no texts from mark

Another ten and you’re worried that something has happened to him

so though you know you shouldn’t you decide to leave and look for him

and you end up walking into the most silent of corridors, literally it is something from a horror film

having a little bit of sense you don’t go back to the screen and instead go to the front desk so you’re around a lot of people

your smart plan seems to work in your favour when you are met with a big group of people waiting for a screening of another film

you’re still waiting another fifteen minutes later so you decide to call mark but he declines your call and texts you to wait

that isn’t the best response you’ve ever gotten and you text him back that you’ll be in the coffee shop next door

But you’re never actually met by mark, and instead by this older guy who probably is like 7 or 8 years older than mark meets you

you’re not sure who he is but he sits down opposite you and hands you a card with the ‘KDY Finance’ on it and his number

there’s a lot of confusion again when the guy leaves you and there is still no sign of mark

there isn’t any sign of mark for the rest of that week actually

and the week after that, and after that too

mark is missing for about a month before you find the contact card for KDY finance and try calling the number

you assume the guy you met picks up when it is a deeper voice that answers, and he says that it is Doyoung speaking

so you just say it’s you, from the coffee shop

and he hums, telling you to come to his office in 40 minutes and to ask for him

needless to say you don’t fit in there because they’re all professionals and you’re wearing yesterdays clothes

but regardless, after a judgemental look from the receptionist you’re taken to his office and you see ‘doyoung’ again

as well as mark, who looks like he has the last of bruises and cuts over him

You’re really surprised to see him but apparently mark isn’t, he runs straight over to you and hugs you really tight

“I thought you were gonna call the next day, not wait like a month! I’ve been waiting this whole time for you to call!”

“Well why didn’t you call me, idiot!”

doyoung chips in that he wasn’t allowed to, and you realise that there is definitely more going on here

and mark will tell you, eventually

give it like two or three days maybe less because if you ask he will tell you straight away

and maybe he will confess a bit more to you too~