#if i dont mention it itll disappear

[b0ylik3r]

mspaint is fun to use, actually

[badomensgoodomens]

RIFFS AND REGRETS - NOAH SEBASTIAN

oc name used: arabella

warnings: mention of sex?? throwing up??

unedited btw

summary: lol u dont get one keep reading.

The pounding on the bus door was enough to drag my sorry ass out of bed. I should NOT have drank that much. “Bella!!!” the pounding was repetitive. “Sorry! Sorry! Geez. i didn't even have a bra on.” My drummer, leo, stood infront of me with the hangover holy grail. coffee. 

I rub my face, god i slept in my makeup. He hands me an iced latte, in which i accept gratefully. We were currently parked in the bus sector of good things festival, approximately two days before it kicked off. I knew he was here, engraved into the back of my fucking skull. I just wonder if they were still together. 

I was talking about noah of course, the topic of him having haunted my dreams the past 4 years. Silhouettes of Silence (SOS) kicked off after we stopped being friends, which im sure  was a real slap in the face for him. I do briefly remember the events leading up to the pure distaste and hurt i feel towards the man, but i could honestly go on forever. 

I was snapped out of thought as leo repeatedly snapped in front of my face. “Get your shit together you haven’t even seen him yet” he says, raising an eyebrow at me. “Wheres lucy and gene?” i ask, glancing around the poorly furnished bus. “Probably hooking up somewhere." “I ought to fire those two one of these days.” 

With a sigh, i get up from my position on the leather couch. “Cmon, we gotta go set up our merch tent.” much to my absolute dismay, we were opposite none other than the bad omens merch tent. I just avoid eye contact. I loiter near pierce the veils tent, danielle had babysat me my entire childhood so we were close. 

“Silhouettes of silence, huh?” i heard a voice behind me. I could recognise that little shit anywhere. “Folio!!” i turn on my heels, running towards him. I hug him tightly, even after all this time he still smells and feels the same. “Ive missed you, man.” he says, pulling away. I shrug awkwardly, “hah… sorry. Kind of skipped town after everything went down. Im proud of you, you look well.” i say, shifting awkwardly on my feet. “Same to you bella, you look better.” he says with that stupid smile. “We should hang out some time.” i say, smiling at him. “Mhm, bring back our thrifting adventures.’ he says, glancing back to his tent. “Hey i gotta go, catch you later yeah?” he says, disappearing before i can even say anything. 

“That was an absolute disaster.” i gesture to danielle, who had appeared next to me. “Eh, id say it wasn’t too bad. If the rest of em are like that, this’ll be a breeze for you.” she responds. “Just wish it wasn’t like this.” i say. She hums, before stepping back to return to her organising. I take a deep breath, it was day one and i was already exhausted. I manage to leg it back to the bus without another unnecessary encounter with an omen boy, but at what cost. 

I step inside the dark tour bus to be met with the sound of moans and skin slapping. 

Oh my god. 

“Abstinence in the tour bus they said. Itll be fun being in a band they said” 

—--------------------------

Another day of rehearsals and setting up, pre show day nerves hitting me hard. I go for a walk after the suns set, just minding my own business. It was late, and quiet. Moments like this really kept me alive. My bassist and guitarist were immature, i feel like im going no where with my life, im still caught up on a GUY- oh god theres somebody behind me. 

“You look like shit.” 

“Oh my fucking GOD jolly you scared the shit out of me you creep.” i hiss, turning around. He just laughs, walking alongside me. “Its like 11pm, why are you out here walking alone?” he asks. “Thinking.” i mutter, looking down at my feet. “Fuck. i cannot see.” he mumbles, turning his phone flash on. 

We do a lap of the festival grounds, just catching up a bit. “You look different.” jolly says abruptly. I stop walking, now confused. “Sorry?” “its just.. I dont know. Youve lost weight, dyed your hair, started a band, covered yourself in tattoos its just.. Weird. You definitely look more.. You.” he says. I ponder for a moment. “Geez youre observant.” 

We finish our lap off, before going our separate ways to our buses. “Soo… seen him yet? Leo asks, sprawled out on a leather couch with some chips. “No… not yet atleast. But i'm gradually ticking off his bandmates.” i respond, sitting down next to him to steal a chip. “They were your friends too, bella.” he says, his voice softening on me. “Dont get all sappy on me” i say, shoving him. He laughs.

—--------------------------------------------

Showtime. 

I  could actually throw up. 

I stand infront of the shitty bathroom mirror, some comfy flares and a hoodie on for now. I take deep breaths before warming up my voice.

Everyone gathers for soundcheck. 

“Hi yes im in my slippers, uhhh someone give me a song to sing.” 

“Floral and fading!!!” 

“My voice doesn’t go thaaaat high!!” 

Its about 3pm now, ive already pregamed some drinks and some artists have even started. Leo is curling my hair, while i cake on some makeup. “Im so not ready for this.” i say, setting my face. “You’ll do perfectly fine, warm your voice up.” he says, poking my side. 

I stand backstage, cracking my knuckles. Something I usually do out of pure fear. I rock on the balls of my feet, zoning the fuck out. “You got this.” Lucy says, standing in front of me. I just nod, anxiety swirling in my stomach. “You’re on in 10.” the stage manager says, walking behind me. I sigh, rubbing my face. “Im gonna shit myself” i choke out a laugh. 

I finally get my shit together and step out onto the main stage. Our song ‘urban legends’ blares through the plethora of speakers, my stage presence is bipolar compared to me naturally. I’m confident on stage, not in real life. 

Passion seeps through my voice as i perform our debut album, ‘echoes of silence’ the crowd is ecstatic, feeling the vibe. I transition into our newer songs, whom have grown popular on tiktok. Its exhausting really, but i love the adrenaline. 

As our set closes, i stalk past all the sea of backstage members, catching the eye of the one man id been trying to avoid. I don’t have time to care though, i can hear leo walking behind me, trying to get my attention. Fuck. i need a bucket. 

I run into the backstage bathrooms, throwing up. Gene and lucy hold my hair back. My ears are ringing and i feel queasy.

The last thing i hear before i black out is

“Is she okay?”

_____________________________

credits to whoever came up with 'abstinence in the tour bus' i read it somewhere and think of it religiously lol.

[spu10d]

“Night on the Galactic Railroad” ichihona

i read the novel and watched the movie recently so random thoughts below

(spoilers for NotGR too!)

OK SO uhm the way i initially delved into this was because i suddenly remembered someone online mention (VERY OFFHANDEDLY). that leo/needs trained set from ‘Live with Memories’ was based off of ‘Night on the Galactic Railroad’.

(^ so this set)

merged with this movie poster (for the film adaption where theyre all cats).

Ramblings…

of course this leads me to read the plot in its wikipedia page and. immediately find ways to apply it to my blorbos. (at this point i wasnt even sure if i remembered the book right/if this was even the right book… and im still unsure but whatever…) (im also bad at Media Literacy).

so i settled on ichihona to be giovanni and campanella. around middle school aged.

but at first, i had it in my mind that ichika -> campanella, and honami -> giovanni.

mostly because campanella drowned rushing in to save zaneli after he fell in the river, something i just felt was very Young Ichika… the impulsiveness, no hesitance to help another…

and that Young Ichika is someone honami wanted to be like. so giovanni being like Scorpio, wishing for a chance to spread happiness for the sake of others (like ichika)…

but i think ‘ichika being campanella and honami being giovanni’ didnt fit as well because giovanni was the one seen to be alone, while campanella was surrounded by friends and did nothing when they teased giovanni.

so once i swapped them around (ichika being giovanni, honami being campanella), i started having more ideas and… interpretations??

ok first off. campanella is likened to scorpio, wanting to (and unlike scorpio, somewhat achieving) ‘save others’ and ‘spreading happiness’. which i think tied nicely to what honami does in middle school, trying to be there for everyone, be an ear to talk/vent to and generally trying to help others.

ALSO GUESS WHOS A SCORPIO (honami)

meanwhile while giovanni and campanella are friends, campanella doesnt really do anything while hes teased by his classmates, just looking back with sympathy. something about how honami sort of… ‘chose’ (ok, was sort of ‘bullied/threatened’ into choosing) her classmates over ichika.

also i like the scene at the very end of the book, where giovanni stands on the riverbank after hearing the news of campanella’s disappearance/death. he looks to the distance while everyone wonders where campanella went, thinking “i know where he went. he went to the edge of the universe. i know, because we went there together.”

im just thinking that while (giovanni/ichika) thinks that, the galaxy can be seen, yes, but also the moon (its like… ~7pm? around the end of summer so its plausible the moon could be low enough to just be seen over the river), with like, honami (in that sorta transparent where theyre not actually there thing), back turned. yknow, since ‘mochizuki’ has the character for moon.

ALSO THE HORRIBLE SAD IRONY OF CAMPANELLA DROWNING, AND HONAMI’S SPECIALTY BEING SWIMMING…

the whole ‘praying like scorpio to serve others in the next life’ thing is. uoorhg. i feel like something can be said about how honami was always helping others, but no one really knew how it was… like? to be like honami, with her selfishness and fear of being bullied, cast out, left behind… etc…

the wikipedia pointed out that a sort of ‘focus’ in the story was about “giving your life in service for others” and uoroogh. are you getting me… (it can work both ways i think, honami and ichika).

also campanella mentioned liking apples once (1 time) and of course like the loser i am i locked in like HONAMI! hes also knowledgable about flowers which is also partially why i initially saw him as ichika

also with giovanni, how hes left alone in the end.

(which while it fits ichika, now im thinking of a scenario where its saki as giovanni… i dont think itll work out as well as ichika though)

i might add more to these ramblings… these are just my initial word dumps.

[blorboconfessions]

hello happy f/o friday! it feels like the week went by so quick!! on this fine day i am thinking about my wife mrs kieran duffy

she is Everything to me. and im gonna ramble about thr thing that i dont think anyone would believe me on in the fact that i think shes transfem

literally right out the gate my first piece of evidence is that consistently shes flat out stated to be a failure of a man. shes not tough, she cant fish, she cant defend herself, she couldnt even stay in the army for long. shes constantly stammering and stumbling over her own words, she pretty consistently doesnt fit in with the men of the group. shes not a man. at least, not in the way theyre men. she didnt even grow up with a father. not to mention jack disappears on HER watch.... shes a failure of a man even when shes finally accepted into the gang.

second pice of evidence is that shes an entirely different person around the other women of the group. shes still nervous, and she isnt much of a man, but... shes never stuttering, or stumbling over herself. in fact shes even pretty smooth with it, shes a good flirt!! stretches and leans over tables like she belongs there, constantly finds space beside or with the other women. she speaks her mind without much worry, and only ever gets flustered when the ladies return her flirting. shes sweet, and considerate, and you can tell shes really trying. the way the other ladies all stand up for her, too, in a way that none of the men do.

third is that i think she would look hot in victorian dresses. i Need to do her makeup and hair and corset for her. you dont understand. i need to see that little twirl in the mirror while she realizes just how much she loves herself like this. i need to hold her close and tell her itll all be okay. ive genuinely considered just making an oc for her to run away with to give her a nice happy ending. its so bad. im not a huge oc guy. she does things to my brain. ive drawn her post transition and thats literally like my best piece of art in a while. shes more than my magnum opus of headcanons shes her own thing at this point

I'm not good at victorian dresses but hopefully this suffices

[speak-now-girlies-unite]

(this is really long, if you want the tl;dr- lines from her song and from karnarks explanation make me think she hung from a tree for a bit. no one knew her cs she just moved to uranium a week b4 the accident and no one ever really had a chance to notice her.)

my much more in depth reasoning for jane hanging in the tree alive for a bit, plus how no one knew who she was:

cw: death, breif mentioned of shitty parents

how did she die?

in her song she sings “and from the ground beneath my feet i hear the anguish in the streets”. karnark says that the front axel (i tried googling what that is, i did not get very good results) broke and they fell from the top of the loop-de-loop, so the idea that shes falling feet first doesnt make much sense, and the idea that she gets stuck in the cart with her feet towards the ground doesnt make much sense either. i think she was definitely the last one to die, and ik that the head can hear for 7 seconds after being decapitated but i couldnt figure out a way for her head to be cut clean off, nothing really added up like that. plus, if it was just separated from her body and not destroyed, how did no one ever find it?

so i decided that the cart crashes into her head, squishing it into a million little pieces, killing her and allowing her to fall from the tree, unidentifiable and the last to die.

how did no one know her?

as we all know, uranium is a tiny town. in an early version of the opening song, they even say that theres only one main street. so if uranium is so small and everyone knew everyone, how did no one know jane?

i think that her and her family had just barely moved there, maybe for the same reason as oceans parents? maybe they just wanted to find a small rural town idk. jane joins the school and the choir a week before their performance/the accident, and father marcus lets her join because he thinks itll help her make friends. because she joined so late, her name isnt registered in the choir competition.

at the few choir practices that shes there for, she hangs around in the back with ricky. they noticed each other, but ricky couldnt talk and he never knew her name. in the afterlife, he knew what she looked like, but nothing about her (name personality likes dislikes etc) so he never mentioned that he knew her cause he didnt. the rest of the choir never noticed her.

(mischa- either skipping or on his phone. noel- arguing with ocean or missing cs of work. ocean- arguing with noel and being insane and stressed. constance- trying to keep noel and ocean from blowing up the place)

ok sure the choir but what about the rest of the school?

i think that jane couldve gotten mildly sick for a few days before the comp. if she had just moved to the school, and then disappeared for 2-3 days, and then died, she barely wouldve been noticed by anyone. no one knew her enough to notice her absence.

also, even if youre thinking the school keeping record of her tranferring, i think a lot of the town was very careless with records and in general keeping things safe. she couldve just not been ever mentioned anywhere.

her family???

this is the one thats actually stumped me. tbh i dont know and theres no real way to know, but if i had to come up with an explanation, i would say that she wasnt a planned kid, her parents were shitty, and they noticed she was gone but just never said anything bc they didnt care enough </3

ive also seen people bring up a little brother, but i dont know anything about legoland so im not going to go there, sorry.

so thats how i think everything went down! if you have any other questions, feel free to ask and ill try to answer the best i can. and remember, thats just a theory. a september 14th 6:19pm theoryy

how i think the choir died, in order + color coded<3 i doubt this is very accurate to how things happen irl but oh well

(the gray circles are trees)

[we-all-implode]

I have some questions 👀

Can u tell us more about the world the story's set in? Is it like nowadays USA?

Is there an objective we have to accomplish?

Will we be able to choose what kind of job we had before?

What kind of abilities have we gained?

Where/with who we grew up with?

How did we meet Nayeli?

Why has Amvrosiy started to stalk us?

Why have u decided to write an if?

Are u writing some prompts right now?

Do u have an estimative to when you're going to post the first update?

Sorry I'm curious 😔👉👈

<3

omg i like these questions. 😭 no offense to the other anons but i like questions like these instead of the meme-y type questions tbh (like yah ill still do em but lol)

it IS the USA. modern as well but everything is offbrand! we’re in an AU New York in a smaller town that has a big forest near it. TBH, i may keep the town unnamed. Might let readers name it.

i would say just exploring is the objective (as of rn, b4 ive started writing lol) i dont want to make anything too complicated. rn it’d be fun to have the mystery be open-ended (to me, anyways)

yeah. idk if itll be mentioned in the text (as of now) but u can hc whatever u want lol.

im thinking either some kind of elemental power or some kind of physical power (like the tele-stuff, or like super strength or speed.)

after your parents disappeared you went to live with your grandma (or at least a lady you called nana 🤭)

that should also be customizable i think. youve been dating ten months as of the start. so it could be a meet-cute or a meet-ugly lol. maybe a tinder hookup idk.

so basically hes trying to gather up all the supernatural ppl in the city (for reasons unknown to me as of now 🤨) tbh i think he wants to be batman so to speak. form a justice league. hes just not good at social skills so he cant just ask. lol.

hyperfixated on the genre. 😀

im….not….writing….but i will soon 😀 every time i have a day off i decide to sleep instead. so monday ill start on the prompts. unless you mean like? making my own ask meme? 🤨

honestly no. ik it’s probably gonna happen either december or january tho. im a massive procrastinator cuz i find planning things out to be more fun than actually doing shit LOL.

[shoezuki]

I'm going to sound like an ass but I'm so happy c!Tommy died, like I ate some leftover chicken in celebration. With Tommy dead, people will be forced to see that the smp doesn't revolves around him, that he's just a character like everyone else and that without him the story still continues.

I hope that cc!Tommy takes a breaks for a while, or at the very least if he's going to do ghostinnit pulls a Wilbur and appear only on other people's streams. It would make the people who only watch Tommy's pov have to watch different people for lore, it might get the fandom to stop treating Tommy like he's the main character, which would be great cause there are no main characters just preferred perspectives.

Also he ruined the little progress Dream had made (I was so excited for that goddamnit) and killed a cat, mean little shit. Also it might wake up people to the fact that Tommy did cause a lot of conflict, but I sadly doubt it.

The only bad I see from this is the fandom;

1. glossing over the cat and just how fucked up that was of Tommy. Trauma or the cycle of abuse are not even close to exsuces, he fucken keep hitting it then killed it just be a dick. Hold him fully accountable and don't downplay this, this was straight up evil of him, arguably he worse thing he has done as of yet.

2. The new wave of Philza stuff with people talking about how much he's going to regret not fathering Tommy dispite him not being his son

3. Even more Technoblade hate that's somehow worse because of his favor he owes to Dream. Like I just saw a post on how Philza should be killed in front of him then excused by "peer pressure" (Techno was surrounded and had no support, stalled for as long as possible, it's not like he wanted to so it) so he'd "understand" pain and loss, blocked them on sight, but still holy shit.

⸺ Rat ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

lkahf;lkhaf yea like i Feel you im Nearly in the same boat but like. kinda?

the entire ‘getting locked in prison’ type arc or whatever was Weird to me n considering that tommy said Before he was gon tap out and back down a bit. like the disc war finale felt FINALE n like? i thought that was fine and dandy. a win for the lads then tommy can jus chill and Not have such a pivotal/main character type role. 

n i was SO GLAD for that. him buildin a hotel w sam and being hunted down by niki and jack and poking at the egg a bit n all that wasnt like. he wasnt the Pivotal point in those as much. considering he’d had a Huge impact in other ppls stories he couldnt jus Disappear. 

i did NOT understand why him being locked in prison was like. a thing. i didnt get it narratively. like idk what to have expected i thought itd jus be like. more downtime for tommy then Bam angst angst big lore oh no INTENSE. 

him dying is like. especially at dream’s hand. i feel its a double edged sword. like you say i REALLY HOPE itll mean things wont circle around him. more notice and attention can be given to the egg arc. and ESPECIALLY w how jack has been going on w today’s events like holyfuck man’s really goin OFF. tommy dying was narratively the best outcome him like jack manifold stans r losin their minds on my dash today

but ALSO. the reactions instilled within the fandom have really shown a like. exactly what i figured. like him Dying is now gonna cloud so many other characters n perceptions a those characters. we see it w phil n techno like mans wasnt even on dsmp he was on his hardcore world n had ppl all in his chat bout how his ‘son’ is dead lkshglsdhg

and this weird. like. i dont know if martyrdom is the right term for it? but like i LITERALLY hadnt seen Any mentions of tommy killing the cat. and that is Very fucked up. like IF tommy hadnt done that then to me it seemed dream had killed tommy Suddenly with no reasoning. and as fucked as it was to kill tommy, WITH the context of him killing dream’s cat like.... it makes so much more sense. like still fucked he died, but in this sense his death was direct and instant retribution for his own actions. 

and why the FUCK r ppl so nasty w techno????? mans not done shit??? he aint streamed or done Lore in a while now Especially not in reference to tommy??? like oh my GOD keep his name out ur mouth. 

like. as we seen everywhere too. they probably gon revive him in some way sometime. n considering how Talked Up that is its seems itll be regarded as the ‘main plot’ or some shit. largely overshadow other things. i want tommy to Not be revived. if he comes back like ghostbur, cool. mans chillin. but he should be dead for at Least a bit for the smoke to settle n so other ppl and plots can Work their way Out.

[ivyuns]

landing in my heart: closer

genre: angst, slight fluff

word count: 2.3k

warnings: location is in north korea, jealousy, guns, car crashes, kinda rushed lol

part three of landing in my heart

landing in my heart information

“what did you just say?”

“i would appreciate if you put the gun away from my fiancee”

“she belongs to division 11. and for those who doesnt know, shes unable to release her personal information. now if you mind, my fiancee is exhausted from her recent mission she came back from” jisung told everybody. on point, your body falls onto jisung’s shoulders, acting as if you were actually exhausted.

jisung takes you to his property till you two are out of sight until jisung clears his throat. “you can let go now” without hesitation, you let go and immediately asks whats division 11 is all about. telling you everything, you enter the house with jisung trailing behind you.

jisung takes you to his property till you two are out of sight until jisung clears his throat. “you can let go now” without hesitation, you let go and immediately asks whats division 11 is all about. telling you everything, you enter the house with jisung trailing behind you.

jisung offers you a cup of water and telling you to drink it to calm down. you gladly accept it as he takes a deep breath. “house inspections happens randomly, but i didnt expect it to happen today. im sorry”

“well, im sure you were equally surprised by it too, so no worries. and you showed up on perfect timing too” you smiled at him, drinking the water then looking around. “by the way, are you hurt? are you okay?” jisung asks while hes checking up on you for any hurt wounds. looking up and making eye contact, you see how his eyes were full of worry. shaking you head a no, you smile at him and was distrubed by knocks on jisungs gates.

“captain han! are you there?!”

jisung goes to open the door and sees the village women, who had heard about the news about you and offers him food. feeling like he couldnt hold any plates, they offer him to help him and take it into the house until you appear behind him.

“o-oh! nice to meet you, captain han’s fiancee” one of the women says. greeting them back, you grab one of the plate full of food from jisung. before you two could go, they ask you where your last mission was, what was it about and how was it. expecting to answer all their questions, you replied as “im sorry, i cant have my information out there”. the women gasp, shocked at they way you talked to them.

jisung tells them to go home and have a good night. doing what theyre told, they walked away and you close the gate. “is captain han really in love with her?” “is this a one-sided love?” “look at her hair, it looks so messy!” hearing all the comments they made about you made you stop your tracks, as long as jisung. gritting you teeth in annoyance, you two continued to go inside the house and ate the food they made for you two.

as you two got ready for bed, jisung made you sleep in the living room as he slept in his room. talking though the closed door, you asked him if he ever went to switzerland. “sorry if im being nosy. but i saw piano sheets and an application form from switzerland. did you have a girlfriend that you would play the piano to?” with no response from him, you drifted to sleep.

after the years go by, yiseo is back in pyongyang. passing the gates, yiseo bumps into minseok, who smiles at her and lets her go first. yiseo smiles back and proceeds until she sees her uncle, myeongseok. “ah, look at my yiseo. you lost a lot of weight during your studies in russia.”

“damn, its always the north korean women who have the best taste” minseok tells himself, but as his bodyguard hears him, he tells them to be careful of what he says. minseok then tells him he will pay him an extra 10,000 won if hed stop nagging him, but hell pay minseok 10,000 won if he nags to him again.

as yiseo and myeongseok stops at their car outside the airport, she realized what happened to the other car. “uncle, wheres the other car?” she asks. “oh, i had to lend it to jisung” “are you going to pick it up or is he bringing it back here” “im sure i can go there and pick it up after my recital tomorrow” “huh?! are you sure? i didnt even mention you were coming back to him because he never asks about you” “what kind of woman doesnt remember her fiance?”

the coal mine.

cheolgang enters the coal mine and enters the wire-trapper room after greeting his soldiers. the soldiers gets up from their seats and salutes cheolgang. “ive seen you all work hard, thank you”. manbok hears cheolgang and immediately salutes him. cheolgang tells manbok to follow him into the back exit.

“sir, what brings you all the way here?” manbok asks. “ri muyeok’s brother is now in the outpost. so i need you to wire his house. theres a women in there and im using it to ruin his family” as cheolgang finishes. manbok gets flashbacks about jisung’s brother.

7 years ago.

“you see, my little brother is studying in switzerland right now” muyeok says in the car with another soldier. “mmhm, hes a piano genius with a full scholarship. but everytime i call him, hes always sorry. maybe its because one of us had to follow our dads path” muyeok replies. “did you wanted to be on the piano path?” “nah, i wasnt into it as jisung was so i took this path” the soldier nods his head. “but he told me when he gets back, he’ll play a song for me, so im excited for that. i bet itll put me in a happy mood”

manbok, who listens to their conversation, helping cheolgang with his favor; killing muhyeok. telling where the driver to go, they collied with muyeoks vehicle. hearing the crashing noises made manbok go numb.

everyones outside the village, looking though jisung’s car, full of excitement. eavesdropping from the gate, jisung comes behind you and tells you hes leaving. “wait let me walk you out. so those women can see what i actually look like since it was dark outside” “no, theres no time for that. also, here. tie it up” jisung gives you a handkerchief. “tie what up?” jisung turns you around and ties your hair up, securing it with a double knot.

heading out of the gate together, you pretended to play the good wife and walked jisung out of the house. before he could leave your sight, you grabbed his wrist and told him to pat you hair, as if you two were being real about your engagement. he then pats your house as everyone is disgusted at your actions. you then tell him to wave at you in which he did. waving at him back, he turns around and heads to the base, bowing at people.

the village women from last night shows up to jisungs house after bad talking about you, inviting for a kimchi battle, you refuse.

back at the base, all soldiers are in an array. “hwang hyunjin, lee felix, kim seungmin, and yang jeongin. all of you but the four of you, head to the shooting range”

with everyone gone but the five of them, they meeting in jisung’s office. “so what did you tell them” hyunjin asks. “i told them shes my fiancee” everyone gasp loudly. “guys just be quiet right now. we just need a plan for her to get back on the boat”

as the four men walk to jisungs house as jisung himself goes to where the accident happened. as he talks to the soldier that was the guard for the place couldnt see what exactly happened since it was dark but he took note on how empty the cargo was and how the front the truck had armor. a very sharp armor.

in south korea, sehyeong calls the people who are helping him track down minseok, telling them to go to the places where he think hes hiding at. at the family meeting, both sehyeong and sejun continue to fight over who would be the next heir. sanga recommends the la vie en rose should be over if your disappearance is longer than expected.

in the village, you can see how hard life is as a north korean. telling the boys that youre off into the house to get potatoes, you noticed a little boy stealing one of the jackets. as the boys saw, they quickly ran towards the little boy and manages to stop him, as a bag of rice falls off of his pocket. “let me go! i need to feed my sister who hasnt eaten in 3 days and because of that, she cant open her eyes!”

making everyone come back to the house, you grabbed food from the cupboards as hyunjin is speaking nonsense. “you really act like this is your own house. youre giving away food thats not even yours to some boy whos lying” after putting the food into a tote bag, as well as a small blanket, youre stopped as you see jisung. “captain han! hes faking it!” hyunjin yells out. “no im not!”

“shut up hyunjin” you shut him up. jisung tells the little boy to wash his face and hands before eating so that he can prevent getting sick. after he washes he face and hands, he runs towards his little sister, who is sleeping alone under cardboard and a small sheet covering it. finally happy to feed his sister.

after that is finished, everyone gathers around and spends time with you before you leave tonight. “okay everyone! today i will give you awards to claim once we meet again” “awards!? are you a general or something?-” “and the first award goes to yang jeongin !” you say as you cut off hyunjin. “now you have two choices. you can use your prize as we see each other again or get it now. when we meet, youll get 100 million won, or get 8 corn now” “ill get the corn!”

“second prize goes to lee felix! your prize when we meet again is have lunch with jiwoo or get the tv right there” you pointed to jisungs tv. “look-” “dont worry, hell pick the first one” you whisper back to jisung. “ill pick the first one” felix gets up and claims his award.

“third one goes to the most handsome is ... kim seungmin!” jisung looks at you with disbelief. “you can have a blind date with miss korea or any award youd like” “ill choose none” nodding you head, you agreed seungmin is like the boys in south korea.

“okay thats all-” “wait what about me” hyunjin asks. “seriously? fine here, have this shampoo, conditioner, and bodywash” as you threw him the bag full of the products jisung got you earlier. “what the- captain han you really bought her this?!” “she said it was essentials”

after announcing the awards and coming to the end, jisung gets up as jealousy is on him, and goes out of the house. following him behind, you take him to your thank you gift for him; tomatoes after giving the seller half of jisungs potato sack since you didnt have any money. however, jisungs not impressed since he doesnt like tomatoes and doesnt properly treat it well. “whatever, just water it and say 10 nice things to it”

the night comes and everything leads to the end. the 4 men are back, eating corn on the mountain near the base with the moon shinning on them. “i feel sad now” jeongin speaks, stopping the silence. “after all the complications, its now the end”

you and jisung go inside the car jisung borrowed from myeonseok. heading to the dock where youre finally going home. taking off the handkerchief jisung gave you for you hair and folding it, you put it in the middle. “thank you for everything. i mean it” you told him. “we wont see each other again, right?” “probably” jisung answers. “its such a shame that you live here.” “its a shame that you live there” you chuckled at his joke, creating silence in the car once again.

parking the car near the deck, felix’s dad comes out of his boat as you two walk out. giving him the ticket, he asks if its just you. “no, the two of us. ill return after she is on the other boat” jisung says as you widen your eyes at him.

going onto the boat and sailing into the middle of the ocean. “since we probably wont see each other again, my name is yoon y/n” jisung looks at you with sincere eyes. “my name is han jisung” jisung smiles.

“ah, im a member of the haeju yoon clan. haeju is in north korea right?” “im a member of hanju han clan” “the irony!” both of you laugh, making jisung feeling happy after a while.

suddenly, a flash a light flashed the boat. “stop the boat!” yelled the other boat who was trailing behind felix’s dads boat. you and jisung hid under the boat as the boat was stopped. the police were investigating the boat. “were here to see your honesty and see if youre trading goods or smuggling humans to other countries” “why would i do that?” the police stomps on the blue hallow board, which was where you and jisung were hiding.

“open up!” was what you both heard underneath. “jisung! what do we do?! youre a soldier you should know what to do. geez” you silently yelled out. “in south korean dramas-” “what?! this is no time to talk about this” you freaked out. “im going to do something. now look at me and dont be startled. look at me and nothing else”

with that, jisung slams his lips into yours as the door opened.

additional ending:

after you leave jisung alone with the tomato plant, jisung bends down and tells 10 nice words.

“sunshine, happiness, rose, friends, breeze, cheekies, family, flowers, love, and piano”

[niaswish]

>time to notice Seb disappeared

I think itll be faster than that. He was abducted in plain sight of Night Shift, with significant police (Augur?) presence. Thats bound to make the news/online network. Plus, I wouldnt be too surprised if Stix put somekind of alarm spell on Seb after everything thats been happening.

>Veil-Touched

I love how diverse the power system seems to be. I look forward to seeing more of it.

>Angelo/Alpha

It is suggestive that Angelo isnt being protected in some way. Either Augur knows of his own augmentations, or they dont care whether he lives or dies for some reason. I mean, the season ends with him being 'reassigned'.

The Alpha project is so important to Augur that I wouldnt be surprised of it. Not to mention the sheer data they could gather from the 'disposable' group.

Speaking of, if Augur isnt involved in Seb disappearing, do you think we might see an Augur vs Kidnapping Org fight over him? Not sure if that would be hilarious or dreaful.

I started listening to the night shift podcast, and now Im hooked. Thanks, I guess 😉 But ya, amazingly fun to listen to.

YESSSSSS, join meeeeee. Talk to me about iiiit, esp if it's about the alphas, because I have a Type that always focus on, ahaha. Azure's already ran off with a scientist!Frankenstein and alpha!Muzaka au, aahhaha.

Anyone you're favourite so far? 8D? Anything you want to find out more about? 8D?

[the-skooma-den]

and just for fun, some more things id think be cool to add to eso (aside from the previously mentioned npc relationship system)

A better default world state. Ya know how during the main quest and the banner quests all sorts of reoccurring characters are bopping all over the place? but then afterwards there’s still multiple instances of that npc, all still saying the same dialogue for a specific quest for the rest of the game. It kinda works for the companions because 3 of them HAVE to disappear to make the main quest make sense. but with the faction quests its gets kinda messy.

 Well what if after the main quest things kinda went to a default state so in say the Dominion all the main reoccurring characters, Queen Ayrenn, The Silvinar and Green lady, The mane.Of course, Razum-dar and Cariel to. They were all in Eldenroot. When you do a quest involving one of them the disappear from Eldenroot and are back afterwards. And that also acts as a default sate for all the other factions as well, so you can find all the Ebonheart pact characters in Mournhold so on so forth.

 And that kinda feeds into some ideas for more dialogue depending on Holidays and how well you know the Npcs and things like that. 

Children. I just think it add some life to the world to have kids running around. And not just npcs stated to be teenagers. Like actual little kids. Playing and talking and maybe giving out a quest or 2.

More acknowledgment of what race your toon is. Like I was playing through Elsweyr and all these people are talking shit about Imperials as i’m playing an Imperial. It just felt like something I or some other character could point out.

More Dlc Integration with the other areas. So like, you can see the other Khajiit Furstocks in Reapers march and Khenarthis roost and maybe one or two in other dominion territories. Or maybe seeing house of reveries members in other major cities across Tamriel. Kinda like how reoccurring characters show up in different Dlcs but like going backwards.

Auto riding on mounts. like if your in one city and you dont wanna fast travel but you gotta go to another city. hop on your mount press the button and itll just take the road from where you are to the other city. Make take a while but at least you can like. Sort your inventory while doing it or something

[tinypinprick]

i’m sorry if you’ve already answered this but how tf do you deal with recovery bloating?? i’ve already tried all the common things (not eating to much at once, cut down on salt, ruled out allergies, no carbotated stuff and so on and so on). i literally can’t consume anything except water without swelling up and having my tummy hurt to the point it’s difficult to even walk/sit and it’s so disheartening and triggering

hey! no need to apologize at all! i’m sorry youre struggling with this…its really common, which im sure you know, but just know its not you’re fault, you’re not a bad person, and it will get better, it honestly just takes time…im sorry it’s causing you pain, i definitely relate..i used to spend hours just immobile in bed because of the pain. its awful!

im not gonna lie, i still struggle a lot with bloating (tbh im bloated rn) but it definitely has improved. i will tell you what has helped me, but i cant guarantee itll work for you.

wear loose, comfy clothes. unless i have to wear specific clothes for work or something, im wearing leggings, loose tops, or loose flowy dresses or onesies. i dont like jeans that are stiff and i dont like tight tops. i try to also make sure i feel comfortable both physically and mentally (like i actually wanna feel somewhat confident in what im wearing)

PEPTO BISMOL (or similar) IS YOUR BEST FRIEND. I always have peoto for emergencies, especially when its impacting my sleep. it is seriously a life saver. it doesnt taste great, but oh man, does it work. (you can also look into other antacids, ofc)

if you’re comfortable, you can rub your belly in a circular motion. they do this when babies have gas. you can google the exact method, i always forget haha. its basically like you make a fist, and rub your stomach as “i love you” so down for I, then an L, then U. idk if that made sense…but yaa…sorry !!

yoga/stretches for digestion - i like twists, basically just things to get the gas moving, and OUT.

those are some things that don’t really involve food, or are to help when you’re already bloated…in terms of trying to prevent bloating:

take a probiotic/eat probiotic and fermented foods (yogurt, kimchi, sauerkraut, kombucha, kefir…)

figure out your worst triggers - for example, i get bloated from eating raw veggies but it doesnt really bother me that much (anymore) but mushrooms make me bloated AND it hurts! so i tend to avoid those, unless i really want them haha.

drink soothing teas - mint, ginger.. when my stomach is really bad i boil ginger root with lemon juice for a while, then drink that. i also drink lemon water (i personally find it helps, but listen to your own body)

if you’re lactose intolerant (i know you mentioned no allergies but just thought i’d suggest this) - take lactaid! its kinda pricy but it does help.or try nondairy substitutes (i love coconut yogurt, personally, and earth island/follow your heart cheese).

COOK veggies and fruit. i definitely do better with cooked over raw vegetables (and even some fruits, like apples).

smoothies! i find blending things pre-’digests’ a little bit, which helps!

chewing more - honestly, digestion starts in the mouth, so chew thoroughly when you can!

eat more calorie dense foods - this can be scary, and i definitely struggle with it, but eating huge quantities of veggies is NOT gonna help with bloating…so if youre hungry/need to eat but bloated, try eating a handful of nuts or something similar, instead.

i wish i had a way to make bloating disappear, but tbh, in my experience it just takes time and actually eating FOOD to get your body used to it again…i had to just keep eating through it, until my body figured out how to actually digest again. it also had to figure out how to digest new foods as i reintroduced them…its hard, ngl, but its worth it, and it does get better. ive been trying to do this for nearly 2 years now, and while its definitely improved, i still do deal with bloating…so i really think its just a time thing :/ i also know that for me, stress is a huge trigger, so the more im stressed (the more i stress about food!) the worse i bloat. 

i think it also gets easier mentally with time, at least in my experience. i still bloat, but it isnt as triggering as before, and i try not to let it ruin my day. the physical stuff still bothers me, but the mental aspect is easier, so that helps.

im sorry i can’t do more…i hope this helps at least a little…good luck, and keep fighting - recovery is so worth it, even with these obstacles. you deserve recovery. i wish you all the best & please feel free to reach out if you ever have other questions, need help, or just want to talk. ♥︎

edit: stephanie marie frank on youtube talks about bloating a lot, so maybe check out her videos. she does do what i eat in a days, so be mindful if you find those triggering.

[littlemisssquiggles]

RWBY Musings #63: The Sleeping Prince. What if…Oscar falls into a deep sleep for the Merging of the Two Souls?

‘Sup FNDM fam! Happy New Year from the squiggle meister! For my first theory post of 2019, since Oscar is a perfect little prince now (hypothetically speaking), consider this for a sec. 

What if...for the Merge, Oscar suddenly falls unconscious, putting him out of commotion for when the heroes begin to commence their plan to commandeer an Atlesian airship with the group unsure of what to do to wake him back up.

As Jaune said last episode, they're not leaving for Atlas without Oscar. But what would they do if the Merge suddenly happens and he’s temporarily unable to aid them with their plan for Atlas?

In the fairy tales, it's usually a kiss of true love that awakes the sleeping princesses from their eternal slumber. If Oscar is expected to fall to sleep during the Merge (because I honestly can't picture him being conscious while unceremoniously merging), imagine if… it's love that ultimately wakes him up. Not necessarily from a kiss per say but I have this little hunch where Oscar will start to merge with Ozpin but it’s the love he feels both for and from the teammates he’s grown to care about that keeps him from resisting the part of the process that’s meant to make him disappear entirely; if that makes sense.

Remember the God of Light’s warning to Ozma before his first reincarnation? He told him that where he sought comfort, he will only find pain. In a sense, you can say the God of Light’s heed to Ozma happened twice within the cycle. For Ozma it occurred in his first reincarnation as Diggs after Salem, the former love of his life---the mother of his children---the woman he had refused the peace of the afterlife to return to, killed him with her very own hands as a final sign that she had lost herself to the darkness.

And for Ozpin, it was recently when his own allies turned their backs on him after promising they wouldn’t upon learning the truth. The first deceit came from Lionheart, a friend and member of Oz’s very own inner circle of trusted lieutenants. The second came from the group of young heroes whose lives he had promised to protect and guide. Even Qrow, a former student and long-time friend of Oz who completely devoted to him, turned his back to him and it is his words that made the old wizard turn to grief and isolation for the third time in his many lives (counting Ambroise and Emmanuel---the second and third reincarnations).

Who knows? Perhaps this will be a sign that Oscar is potentially doomed to meet the same fate being challenged by that same love and comfort in others that has left his predecessors crushed by grief? I’m not saying that the heroes will hurt Oscar (at least, not now after what transpired when they thought he went missing). But I can somehow imagine Oscar meeting a dishevelled and grief-stricken Ozpin again within his mental mind palace or Dreamscape and having the older soul mock his young successor for getting himself attached to the love and comfort he feels from the heroes. Imagine…that love and trust is what Oscar will hold onto as a lifeline to keep him from losing himself completely to the Merge?

While I’m aware that Oscar has come to accept his fate now, I can’t help but still feel like that’s all a front from Oscar. It could be just my interpretation, though. It’s just the way how he spoke in V6 C8 gave me the impression that Oscar had technically given up on wanting to resist the Merge while subtly foreshadowing that it could happen this same volume.

“…These past few days, I’ve been scared of the same things you were. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be…me. But I did some thinking and I do know that I want to do everything I can to help with whatever time I have left…”

It wouldn’t surprise me if in a later episode; Oscar does begin the Merge with Ozpin and will reunite with him in his mind for it. Don’t want to anticipate too much but it is a strong possibility of it happening especially since they do have the model of Professor Ozpin. I doubt they just made that for the opening. I feel like Oscar is going to meet Ozpin face to face in his mind and when he does, I think the two souls will have a confrontation that could either be just them standing around and talking (like Raven and Yang in the V5 finale) or end in them literally squaring off against each other in an all-out showdown. We’ve already seen two Maidens duke it out.

Will we get to see the two souls fight next?

I would think we should since it’s something that’s been foreshadowed since the first volume. I love the idea of Oscar literally fighting the Merge. Fighting Ozpin and fighting against losing himself. The thing that has always been hinted about the Man with Two Souls is them fighting for control. So maybe this will be part of the Merge? Oscar fighting against Ozpin for the chance to remain as himself.

We know Oscar has accepted disappearing one day but...what if… it's the love he feels from the team that convinces him he needs to fight to be himself. What if...Ruby shares another Rosebuds bonding moment with Oscar where she basically tells him to fight to be him. And since these words come from the girl we know Oscar greatly admires, it’ll hold a lot of weight and meaning in Oscar’s eyes.  

I didn’t particularly like how Oscar told everyone that he was going to disappear soon and everyone was…I guess, so clouded by their relief of him being safe to feel the full weight of his words in that moment.

I just found the fact that there is Oscar basically talking to group like he’s going to technically sort of die soon (I mean it pretty much had that final farewell sort of tone to it, for sure) and everyone is all happy smiles. Like…what? Why are you smiling? Yes, this is a happy moment but what’s being said and foreshadowed isn’t so…again why didn’t we get the characters briefly looking unhappy when Oscar brought disappearing only to perk up when he showed them that even though it’s bad, he’s still determined to do his best like the best boy he is? I dunno. It was a little weird moment for me and one of my gripes with this episode.

I think eventually when things simmer down and once the Merge actually legit starts happening before the team’s very eyes where Oscar gets down because of the Merge, that’s when the others will start to see the light of the child’s words and begin to truly panic about losing him.

Another thing that needs to be addressed are the group’s feelings now about Ozpin. Following the events of C5-C9 and now that Oscar has become an official valued member of the group (as himself), how does the group feel about Oz? This is why I found the happy-go-lucky smiles when Oscar mentioned disappearing for good to be off putting. The group do realize that if Oscar disappears for good, technically that could spell the team being back with Ozpin…kind of…sort of…maybe-ish. I dunno. I just want to know how the group feel about Oz now? Did Oscar’s disappearance also help them to forgive Ozpin too?

I don’t think that is the case which is why I hope it gets addressed in the remaining 5 episodes.

Overall, I just want Oscar to fight to be himself you guys. This is just my opinion here but personally, Oscar has been way too accepting of his fate. I understand that merging with Ozpin is a destiny that Oscar can’t run from. I understand that fully but…I still feel like he should want to fight to be himself if he could help it y’know what I mean? I don’t know if that’s possible or if it’s impossible for Oscar to not fight against losing himself. But nevertheless, I just want Oscar to fight to be him and for someone to tell him to fight to be him. Because Oscar is pretty great.

Plus I think that’ll be the be all end all to both Oscar and Ozpin’s conjoined stories, right? Either Ozpin’s run will conclude this volume and Oscar will take his place on the cast moving forward as his successor, now complete with his memories, knowledge, skills and magical capabilities (hopefully) while still retaining his personality.

So picture …Oscar accepting his fate but also fighting it at the same time. He wants to be a Wizard of Light like the others before him. He still wants to do everything in his power to fight to protect humanity and stop Salem once and for all. But he will not lose himself. So ...rather than Ozpin absorbing Oscar and his mind becoming dominant, it's the opposite where Ozpin becomes a part of Oscar while the former farm boy still gets to be himself.

Basically what some fans have been saying since the beginning that Oz will disappear and become a part of Oscar with our Barn Prince still remaining as himself but gaining all the memories and skills of Ozpin and all the Wizards before him.

Or…Oscar and Ozpin will fuse and this new fusion will be a perfect blend of them both signifying a perfect alignment between the two soul where it doesn’t feel like one has eclipsed the other. It’s both but at the same time it’s not them. Someone entirely new who is as much Oscar as the original while still having some essence of Ozpin in there.

Whatever the outcome, I do think the Merge could be a plot point set for the final few episodes of V6. Emphasis on could. But if it does happen, only then will Oscar’s true fate be decided once and for all. Either that or it gets delayed and Oscar goes into the Atlas Arc now fighting against Ozpin to let the Merge fully take him over. Who knows?

That's just me. Don’t know if you guys would agree or disagree. But anyways, as always, these are just my thoughts and theories. I guess we’ll see what the Writers got cooking for us when C10 premieres this Saturday.

More Squiggles’ RWBY Content

~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)

[scaryscarecrows]

Roots and Leaves, Pt. 6

DC did it first. Take your grievances to them.

Jason and Sheila e-mail back and forth for about a week before she says that she has Thursday off so if he has Thursday off does he want to meet for lunch again?

Last time wasn’t bad. Not a lot of staring or people or anything. He can…he can probably do it again. And it’s a few days away still, so he has time to psyche himself up or, worst case scenario, fake his death and move to Canada.

And it’s been a week and she hasn’t pulled out the Pity Card on him yet and maybe…maybe this’ll all work out okay. She might never be Mom, because Catherine’s always gonna be Mom, but…but she could be Mother, maybe. He can see that in the distant (or not-so-distant?) future.

But he’s not going to rush into things, that’s what got him here in the first place. Patience, grasshopper.

Thursday rolls around and he hasn’t faked his death and moved to Canada, so he has no choice but to put on jeans and a hoodie and resign himself to a couple of hours, easy, of no sunglasses and no e-book shield.

Sorry, any small children who might come out of this traumatized.

Okay. He brings his Kindle anyway, and his sunglasses for the journey, and sticks to his normal Civilian Weaponry-couple’a knives, one pair of brass knuckles tucked into a hidden pocket in his hoodie. Last thing he needs is for someone to pick up a bullet, match it to the Red Hood’s, and come knocking on his door. His luck is bad enough that’s exactly what would happen.

Besides, it’s noon on a Thursday, and even in Gotham that’s a slow hour. Bank robbers gotta eat, too.

The monorail ride there is literal Hell (three fighting couples, two crying kids and old man with no personal spaaaaace!) and he’s literally gasping for air when he stumbles out of the car. He likes people. Honest. If he legitimately hated them all, he wouldn’t risk his life to help them. But interacting with them…he could do without that, mostly.

Whatever. Whatever. It’s over, he lived, he’s had worse.

(And no, he doesn’t hear faint cackling in his head, and that’s final.)

It’s windy today, the type of wind that buffets people every which way and is determined to keep his hood off his head. He fidgets with the drawstrings until it’ll stay and buries his hands in his pockets. Wind sucks. He can feel pollen and dust and Gotham Grime being blown onto his skin.

“Jason!”

Is he there already?

Sheila…looks a lot more haggard than she did before. He tries to remember if she’d mentioned being horribly busy, doesn’t think she did, and figures that to be fair, he hasn’t mentioned the bruise that goes halfway up his back.

She smiles, her awkward driver’s license smile, and waves. Yeah, she doesn’t…it must’ve been a long week, or maybe a rough drive or something. She looks tired.

“Hi.” He’s not sure what to call her, still. Miss Haywood is too disconnected, Sheila’s too personal, and it’s way, way too soon for Mother. Names are a pain. “I’m not late, am I?” He knows he’s not. “Monorail was packed.”

“So was the subway. Can I…?”

Her arms are half-out and he figures she’s asking for a hug. He can do a hug, as long as it’s a short hug.

“Yeah. Thanks for the warning.”

Holy crap, she feels frail. But to be fair, barring Dick’s tackle-hug, everyone’s felt frail since…since. So it could just be him. Hugs are weird now.

(“HUG YOUR DADDY!”)

No. Not today. Everything’s fine.

It’s a sort-of short hug, short enough, anyway, and he wonders, abstractedly, if a day will ever come that he’s used to that sort of thing again. If it even matters whether he does or doesn’t.

It does. Of course it does. And the day will come, in time, and he’ll be better, be normal, be what people want him to be.

Little steps.

* * *

They’ve fallen into a companionable silence and for once Jason’s not jumping whenever someone walks by in a purple sweater or anything when Sheila forces her lips out from between her teeth and says, “I know you were Robin.”

Well. That’s, uh, there’s that out of the way.

“Yeah.” There’s clearly no point in denying it. She probably put it together when Batman came knocking. “For a little while, yeah. I was.” He tastes blood, wonders how long he’s been doing that, and wishes he had gum. Or a mint. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right off, I just…old habits die hard, I guess.”

“Oh God, no, no, I didn’t mean-” She takes a drink. Her hands are shaking, she’s shaking and he doesn’t know what’s wrong. “I just. I thought I should probably make it clear that I did know, so you wouldn’t…I know I was absent, but I don’t want…you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide things from me.”

Oh. That’s. He doesn’t know what to say. Bruce, God knows, has the emotional capabilities of a Himalayan Salt Lamp. Thankfully Jason hadn’t been the type to go through crushes every two weeks, or he probably would have been in Hell. He certainly wouldn’t have…it’s not like he would have shut down the conversation, but sharing and caring? That would have been awkward and best not repeated. Alfred was the go-to for that sorta thing.

All right, then. Since they’re dropping sudden bombshells ‘n all…he has to know.

“You worked for Joker.” There. It’s out. He said it.

And now he kinda regrets it-the self-loathing on her face is a pretty good match for his own, and he can’t tell himself it’s anything less than deep, deep wishing to have made better choices.

“I did.” She straightens up, begins tearing apart a piece of bread on her plate. “Briefly. I’m not proud, but he had a line to my mother, knew where she lived, knew her schedule…knew.” She swallows hard. “Knew she had to rubber-band her jam jars because she couldn’t open them otherwise. I panicked. But it was only for a couple of months-pills, he wanted pills, as much as I could get him. And then he just…went away. I don’t know what he did with them.”

Honestly, after everything, he can’t…he doesn’t have the right to say much. And honestly? There was that one guy, who accidentally cut the fucker off in traffic and couldn’t get away from him.

And look at him. The first man he killed, that wasn’t…oh, sure, he probably had it coming, at least a little, but Jason wasn’t thinking about that or considering it like he does now, he just…he wanted to kill Bruce. Because that was right and reason at the time even though he knows it’s insanity now.

No, he can’t say much.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly, and it’s suddenly easier to look at his hands. “I didn’t…that sounds awful.”

“No.” She tips his chin up and it’s an effort not to pull away and to remember that it’s fingers, warm human fingers, and not the pointy end of a crowbar against his skin. “You deserved to know. It’s only fair.”

Truth be told, it’s a relief to know that she hadn’t…yeah, technically she could’ve…maybe done something different, but she hadn’t wanted to work for him. She wasn’t like the ones he’d christened Dumb and Dumber that…they enjoyed that kinda work.

Lunch is finished in relative silence after that, though, and he’s wondering what’s going to happen now when she rifles through her purse and swears.

“Damn…I meant to grab an old photo album I wanted to show you, with some old family pictures and things.”

Pictures of Willis? Yeah, he’s good. Pictures of other people might be interesting, though.

“Next time?”

“My apartment’s a few blocks over.”

Something feels off. He’s paranoid, he knows he’s paranoid, but something…she’s been shaky and weird all afternoon and he doesn’t…

Calm the fuck down, you freak out when someone window-shops for too long!

“Is everything…is everything okay?”

Or maybe something is wrong-she pulls a napkin over and there’s suddenly a pen in her hand.

“I really do want you to see these pictures, Jason,” she says, but her hand is moving and there’s the ever-so-faint skrit-skrit of pen on paper. “I swear you got my mother’s eyes.”

The napkin slides over to him and he glances down. Her handwriting’s spikey and awful-doctor writing to the bone-but his is no better and he can read it well enough.

An old colleague has been hanging around the hospital lately.

Oh.

That explains a bit.

“Sure.”

Her shoulders drop and she crumples the napkin, nails picking it into shreds.

“I’m sorry to do this to you,” she says softly, nearly too soft for him to hear, and he’s quick to shake his head.

“No, no, I don’t mind, I’m glad you…if there’s anything I can do to…”

Shit, she looks like she’s going to start crying and that is indeed PANIC in his throat. Tears are not good.

“You’re a good boy.” Her voice is watery but there are no tears to be seen. Thank Jesus. “I promise next time we have lunch it’ll be normal.”

Oh, good, things haven’t plummeted down to fiery Hell because of all the revelations flying around.

“Everything’s gonna be fine,” he says, and whoops that’s his ‘all will be well, citizen, never fear!’ voice. But it must work, because the about-to-cry look disappears. “Um. Do you wanna…it looks like it’s gonna rain, should we get going?”

And so they do.

* * *

The wind has picked up and it smells like rain. He’s not looking forward to patrol later.

The wind’s not so bad, though, to stop Sheila from lighting up with a self-depreciating, “I know I’m a doctor and should know better, but I honestly don’t care.”

“I can’t really say anything.” He holds up his own pack and rattles it before pulling one out. It’s not as calming as it usually is and he doesn’t know why.

Eh. It’s been a long day, that’s all. He’s not used to interacting with people on a personal level anymore, which is his own fault and probably not necessarily a good thing.

The first few drops have started to fall when they arrive at her building-big, square, and simplistic. She fishes out her keys while they’re in the elevator (which smells like new car, for some reason).

The hallway is deserted. It’s a little creepy, to be honest-his own building might be crap, but there’s always activity. And then, of course, there was Arkham’s hallways, or what he could hear of them. Noisy. Always noisy. But this? Wayne Manor was silent like this. It unsettled him then and it unsettles him now. Call him a city boy, whatever, but he needs noise.

The brass knuckles and knives in his jacket are warm and comforting and he knows he’s not gonna need ‘em, but they make up for this creepy-ass silence.

Sheila opens the door and motions him inside. It’s dark inside-blackout curtains, probably-but he can hear the rain. It smells like new car in here, too, and he wonders, off-handedly, why-

-it’s not empty. He’s walked into one too many ‘empty’ buildings to be very, very attuned to the sound of somebody breathing. Okay. Be calm, back out and shut the door.

He’s about to do exactly that when the light switch clicks and bathes the whole place in stark white. White walls, white floors, white furniture.

Which only makes Harley Quinn stick out like a sore thumb in all that red and black.

“BAY-BEE!” She could never hope to match Joker’s grin, but she gives it a good go, stretching her makeup. Okay. Change of plans. Get Sheila out of here (and preferably out of the building), deal with Quinn. “It’s been a whiiiiile!”

He takes in the mallet leaning against the couch and the shotgun (are those fuzzy dice? Really?) in her hands and comes to the conclusion that great, she’s riding the crazy train.

But maybe she hasn’t seen Sheila yet. Where’s that goddamn light switch?

He moves, only a little, only to feel the unmistakable press of a gun against his lower back.

“Don’t. Move.”

And the world drops out from under him.

No. No, no, no, she said she quit, it was over, she said they’d let her go, she said-

The door shuts. He twists so he can still see Quinn in his peripheral. Sheila’s face is a blank mask-no tears, no joy, no nothing. Just quiet determination and he doesn’t understand, she said…

“Mom?” The word feels thick and wrong in his mouth, but maybe…maybe she’s brainwashed or hypnotized or something, maybe she doesn’t…isn’t…

“Sorry, kid.” The words are harsh but her tone isn’t. Quinn giggles in the background but she sounds so far away and Sheila’s still pressing a gun against him. “It was you or me, and, well…it had to be you.”

What?

“Aww, come to mama, baby!” Quinn giggles again before straightening up and scowling. “Now.”

His feet drag him forward, sneakers scuffing against the white carpet an’ Heaven’s s’posed ta be white, innit, so why does this feel like Hell and what’s going on she said she said-

For once horrible, desperate second, he wants Bruce. Bruce wouldn’t…yeah, he’d thought, at first, that he’d left him but he knows that he didn’t, he really didn’t, he just…

Bruce wouldn’t have pulled a gun on him, he wouldn’t and God, if he’d just fucking talked to him-

“I did what you wanted, Quinn.” Sheila’s voice is so, so flat and is this all she wanted from the beginning? Is it? “Now call your man.”

Quinn doesn’t even look at her. She’s looking at Jason like she always did-like she’s torn between wanting to rip his head off and wanting to wrap him in a blanket and keep him.

This is his own goddamn fault, he just thought…just once, just once-

“Quinn!” Desperation now, and the gun wobbles against his hoodie as she steps out from behind him. “I did what you said! Call your man!”

Okay. Okay.

He forces himself to take a few deep breaths that taste like that last cigarette outside and says, voice as steady as he can make it, “Let her go, Harley. Leave her alone, I’ll. I’ll do what you want, just. Just let her go.”

“Aww, look at you!” Her pigtails sway and he finds himself oddly hypnotized by the movement. “I knew ya had to be Robin for a reason.”

Yeah. Yeah, he was Robin and that’s all he’ll ever be, the one that fucked up.

“Please, Harley.”

“Nyeh…” She adjusts her grip on the gun, finger dancing near the trigger, and looks down at her knuckles. “Eeny, meanie, miny, moe, catch a Batman by the toe. If he hollers, let ‘im go, eeny…meanie…miny…moe!”

He sees it before she does it, but there’s no time-he’s moved maybe half a centimeter before the gun goes off-

-and Sheila.

Falls.

His ears are ringing. They’re ringing and everything’s so white except her, all blonde and blue and so fucking red because Harley didn’t miss and if he’d been quicker, he should have been-

“Aww, don’t be sad!” Harley’s not alone, of course she’s not. He should have known from the start stupidstupidstupid. “Doncha know what happens to people who know too much?”

Her eyes are open. They’re open and they’re looking at him like this is his fault and it is if he hadn’t…

S’like Joker said, once.

“Good boys know how to lay down and DIE.”

“Mistah J had a spot for ya, baby.” Huh? “But you up an’ left us before it was time! So since it’s his birthday-” The fucker has no birthday he just appeared one day too evil for Hell. “-I thought I’d get my puddin’ somethin’-” She winks. “Real nice.”

And they’re on him.

Harley’s goons are dumb, but they’re also big and they manage to drag him down for a minute before he gets a knife out of his sleeve and drives it into the nearest jaw.

“Andre!” Yeah, Andre ain’t comin’ back from that any time soon. “I thought we taught you manners!”

He reclaims his knife and scrambles back up and okay okay maybe he can get outta this-

WHAM!

Lights out.

[zaphodkilledthespeedforce]

So Captian and Fiona definitely went through that weird light again - which the captain never mentioned previously? Is it a light they dont remember after they pass through it? Cal saw that light too straight on. Maybe that's why hes extra special. I dont know if Manifest would really last into 2024 - mostly because Im not sure of itd take 5 years of TV to uncover the whole conspiracy since they're opening it up pretty quickly. If so though, itd be awesome to have them come back. I'm feeling like itll be a much smaller (maybe a year) time jump if at all so a new TV show doesn't have to do 2 major time jumps just to advance the plot.

Their plane straight up disappeared on the radar. They weren't shot out of the sky - also why would they try to shoot down a plane with a hostage - and they weren't far from the other planes. Would they just assume they died in the supposed shoot down?

[sinsfox]

Care to tell us about Ban's depression and all?

yoko you just had to ask this since i mentioned it to you huh

OF COURSE I CAN TALK ABT IT

this is gonna get long, so ima put it under the cut but theres going to be content warning galore, but itll be tagged

im really not going to beat around the bush here. 

i headcanon ban to have depression, but at this point, it seems to me to be implied that he does. would it be professionally diagnosed? fuck no. ban gives less than a shit about himself, i dont think he would be obligated to figure out why he feels hollow or dulled. why life is a bore, and he only ever feels alive in a fight or when hes ‘killed’.

to him its a feeling he can easily shrug off and ignore and he easily puts up a front of being the easy going, out there kind of guy that he is. eccentric and melodious in his tone, fight enthusiastic and seemingly taking his interest in whatever seems convenient at the time. stealing what he wants, even if its the clothes off someones back. drinking ale and laughing it up like no tomorrow until he passes out.

but at the end of the day, hes lonely. hes tired. despite the things that are fun that he does have fun with, its still hard to completely forget the void that he feels and how much duller things seem nowadays ever since the incident in the fairy kings forest.

it only got worse since that day.

his childhood was the start of it all.

his parents neglected him and his sister. his little sister died from starvation at four years old. that was the first time ban felt alone. his parents cared nothing for them. ban was used to try and obtain food for his mother and father, while not being allowed to eat himself. his father would beat him if he did eat. his father would beat him if ban even slept. it wasnt a good environment. ban ran away from home often.

then ban was caught stealing and was sent to prison and that was where he met zhivago and they escaped together. and ban took to secretly meeting zhivago whenever he could and was given food by him to eat. zhivago helped him survive. zhivago taught ban all he needed to know about thieving and even saved his life from starvation and from being kidnapped and almost being sold to a noblewoman who tortured and killed children.

zhivago adopted ban. he referred to ban as his son in a conversation with ban himself. telling him how he had one son named therion who was nothing like ban, a shy kid. and how he had another son named ban who was a troublemaker with a bad mouth.

hearing that made ban happy. and he felt like he had family again.

then one day when they were to do a heist together, ban got impatient and went on his own. and got caught by the guards and was beaten by them. and zhivago was handed two choices: save ban or save therion. ultimately zhivago made his choice and abandoned ban ( he was crying when he made his choice ) for the sake of saving his own son, which he was too late in doing.

that was the second time ban felt alone in the world.

years pass, ban is a bandit now. he goes after the fountain of youth after hearing talk of it in a bar. he enters the fairy kings forest. he persists in getting to the fountain. thats when he meets elaine. and in seven days he grew close to her and helped her battle her seven hundred years of loneliness. and he fell in love with her and was going to bring her brother back to the forest, and make him take her place so ban could take her away.

but then a demon attacked. and elaine, who ban wanted to save with the fountain of youth, fed the water to ban which made him immortal. and he kills the demon, but elaine dies before he can even begin to help her.

that is the third time ban felt alone in the world.

and he was heart broken.

its at this point in time that ban believe he cannot be close to anyone, for they are going to leave him. by dying or by abandoning him. he refuses to fight when he is arrested and accused of a false crime but what can he do. he has no proof against their claim, and they cannot do anything to an immortal being. so he takes the brunt of it all and allows himself to be executed over and over again in his time captured.

its at this point that ban wishes he could die. because he doesnt want to live. not when he had nothing to consider a family from his little sister dying so young, his parents neglecting and abusing him. zhivago was his ideal father, he never held a grudge against the man for abandoning him but it still left a hefty hole for ban to carry. and elaine was killed before him and she used the last of her strength to save him instead of herself.

he was powerless to stop any of this from happening. despite that he was only a child, that he was just a human.

meeting meliodas was another of the happier moments in his life. when the man busted him out of prison, literally punching him through the wall, ban knew immediately that meliodas was someone he did not want to lose. there was an interest gained in this man. ban didnt want meliodas to disappear on him. he didnt want him to leave like the rest.

of course history happens, ban gets imprisoned by the weird fangs when he hears that meliodas had passed ( a lie ). and he endures torture yet again to ease the emptiness that wracks his being. bans stated before that dying is just another part of life for him. a daily occurrence. hes mentioned before that hes felt like dying. that its been a long time since he felt like dying.

it doesnt change the fact that hes felt that way.

there are points in time where ban berates himself. degrades himself. hes called himself a bad person. hes referred to himself as a useless piece of shit. that hes powerless. that hes an awful friend. all in regards to being unable to protect those he loves and cares about.

ban cares little about his own well being. its why he fights as reckless as he does, aside from his immortality. ban does not care about himself. theres nothing he likes about him. theres… nothing. he feels nothing for himself. he doesnt even consider himself human anymore unless hes referred to as one.

one wouldnt even think ban feels or thinks this way considering the way he is, as i said before. its easy to think ban is someone who doesnt feel that way but really its been eating at him for over the entirety of his life. ever since his childhood. ever since elaine died. 

and he has terrible ways of coping with it all.

ban drinks himself silly. he lets himself get brutally murdered just come back to life and have it done again when he fights. he seeks out getting arrested to endure torture to feel something than nothing. because hes so tired of feeling nothing.

but in the end, no one except meliodas and elaine ( and king ) are capable of telling really telling bans actual emotions and the way he feels. because around them he drops the face of the fox sin everyone knows. because hes tired. hes empty. he can fake a smile and really well at that. he can put on the face of excitement, the outgoing personality and passion he can exude when needed. but at the end of the day, those feelings and thoughts are still there.

ban has, since gaining immortality, fantasized about death. idealized it. wished he could die. because being immortal is boring. living and dying near constantly runs dry after a time and to think that dying is a daily part of life now is cruel to him when he wakes up like nothing happened.

it was worse when the rumor meliodas had died got around, after hed finally learned to be happy again after the loss of elaine.

when he learned meliodas was indeed alive, and was busted out of baste dungeon to reunite with meliodas, he was happy again.

when the ten commandments and demon clan were released from their seal, and melascula using her magic with the venegeful soul revival, elaine was resurrected and ban was able to reunite with her too, after quelling her anger and hate towards those who had spent their time around ban when she could note and melascula still being kept alive kept elaine alive.

ban was made all the more happier then, too.

but elaine can read bans heart like fairies can. meliodas can read ban like a book because theyre best friends and meliodas understands ban just as ban understands him. and hes able to be open with them, more so than anyone else.

they are the only two he can really be truthful with in regards to his emotions because they are the only two that he trusts enough to let his guard down around and let them see the side that he hides from everyone else.

because he doesnt need more people worrying or whatever in his mind. he doesnt need peoples concerns when hes fine by technicality because hes immortal and nothing will ever come of anything even if he tried to do something. his sense of self-worth is abyssal, he cares so little about himself. hed rather everyone around him be okay and happy than have people worrying over him because its something hes felt for a long time, a very long time. something hes dealt with all on his own ( until elaine and meliodas came into his life ) and hed rather not include anymore people in it.

ban has gotten the short and shit end of the stick too many times to count. hes lost people. hes been unable to save people. he feels powerless in situations he cant do anything to change or fix. he berates himself over these things.

and he tries to keep others out of it because its not something they should deal with, its his own problem. but its hard to deal with it when he doesnt want to. he wants it to go away, he wants to stop feeling and thinking it. but its hard when its constant and he cant do anything about it. aside from drown himself in ale and liquor. and fight so recklessly and with abandon because hell be fine, hell come out unscathed and it gives him something to better focus his energy on than the hollow dull ache in his chest.

thats about the long and short of it

[the-antagonistic-bad-guy]

TW: BLOOD/GORE MENTIONED

so the scariest fucking thing happened to me yesterday, i woke up from a nap to basically a murder scene out in the hallway and kitchen/living room and my dog no where to be found so of course i panic so fucking hard im essentially shaking and to the point of sobbing and trying to find her, well she hears my panic and because shes such a good fucking girl came to check up on me despite the fact she was in pain vomiting and sh*tting blood. she tried to crawl under my bed again and lay down but i grabbed her and held her while my partner went to wake his parents (who adore this dog mind you, to them she is their granddog and they will do anything for her) and because it was sunday our usual vet wasnt open and the emergency clinic closest to my house wasnt taking any patients because the vet had called out for a family emergency. (im still pissed off at the company for only having one vet at an EMERGENCY vet hospital but i dont blame the workers/vet there since they have no control over it) so we have to go to one farther out which was essentially a thirty minute drive and these people make us wait for four fucking hours in a hot parking lot with a dog who needs to be hydrated.

luckily my dog is the sweetest and fucking best girl in the world so she waited like a champ and drank some water we found in the car (it was only opened a day or two prior but never fully drank) the first time she tried she immediately vomited it back up but the second time she held it down and got a bit of her energy back and when they finally took her they asked us over 400$ up front for just a diagnostic, money we did not have with us at that current moment. so in the end we told them just to give her fluids and anti-nausea and we’d take her home for the night and take her to our normal vet in the morning because i could not trust these people with her especially after the wait (which they told us only three dogs were ahead of us and they took SIX families before they even talked to us) and the reviews on the place where mostly terrible (im exaggerating a tiny bit it was almost 50/50 between 5 stars and 1 but still) and so they gave us her back with a fluid bubble under her skin to help the dehydration a little told us that what she would need was food (we read the discharge papers and it told us she wasnt allowed food for 6 hours) and then told us theyd go grab the discharge papers (we waited 15 mins before my MIL decided to go inside and get them) we paid for everything and then we left.

i had cried so much, i even cried out of pure relief seeing my dog again that when i finally calmed down my eyes stung and i had the worse kind of headache but i was just so happy to have my baby back. she did so fucking well during the night too, she drank a lot of water when we got home and held it down all throughout the night and this dog, being the best fucking girl got up three times to be taken outside even though she basically had no control over her bowels (she didnt make it the first time but she tried to hard to warn us she needed to go) and this is a dog that was leaking blood from both ends still trying not to go in the house because she tries so fucking hard to be a good girl and everytime she has an accident she gets so fucking upset and embarrassed because she wants to be good. well after she settled into her little den i made for her in the floor so she’d be elevated and covered to keep her temperature up, i made a nest for myself right beside her on the floor and we both passed out around 2 almost 3 in the morning. my MIL comes and wakes me up at 7 and we pile into the car and take her straight to her normal vet, and that’s where she is now. they told us that theyd give us a call later and that we’d most likely be seeing them again around 4-4:30 and the relief i felt knowing she was in safe hands, with people i trust and people who adore her and give her so much love when we come by even for just normal check ups was the best feeling i could have after the past 19 hours.

ive decided not to talk to my family about it atm since i know that itll only bring out really negative emotions and that isnt what i need right now but i just had to talk to someone, anyone, and the tumblr void seemed to be the best bet because this post will most likely disappear within said void. i know my mom will try to make me feel better but her relationship/view of death itself makes me extremely uncomfortable and her morbid way of trying to cheer me up is again, not something i need right now.

finally i just want to say my dog did her very fucking best to be a good girl and she ended up being the best girl. she is quite literally the best dog i could have ever asked for. i love her so much and she is the best