#if he could get away with it without it being explicitly romantic

[seagreenstardust]

What’s wild is that you can write a story that revolves around two male characters and make it sibling-coded or as obviously platonic as you want, but Hori didn’t do that. Right up until the finish line he fed the bkdk’s when given the choice.

He didn’t have to give Katsuki an 11+ year hang up about holding Izuku’s hand. He didn’t have to make Izuku so possessive, or have him go feral anytime Katsuki was looked at wrong. He certainly didn’t have to give Izuku the “I’m gonna hurt your loved one to hurt you” trope or have Katsuki use Izuku’s kiddie nickname for himself in front of the biggest bad.

He gave Izuku the “control your heart” complex that centered entirely on Katsuki

He had Katsuki literally die and come back to life thinking only about Izuku

He gave them the big eyes-meet-across-the-battlefield moment and that voiceover about how their feelings were finally one

At every opportunity, right up until the epilogue chapter, Hori chose to write Izuku and Katsuki like you would the main hero and heroine in any action story and it worked

[pomefioredove]

Hii! Can I request for Jamil where his s/o helps him with cleaning dishes after Kalim made another big party? My boy needs some support</3

SO I didn't read the s/o part until after I'd finished but you can imagine that I think? Jamil is reseved and wary enough for it

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ a white lie

type of post: fic characters: jamil additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, not proofread

Suffice to say that Jamil had not enjoyed the party.

If he ever enjoys Kalim's parties is another question, but there were a few things that made this one particularly insufferable:

#1 Jamil had explicitly told Kalim not to have this party, since he had failed his last alchemy lab and needed to study before the retake #2 Kalim had agreed to not have this party and Jamil was already in bed when Kalim threw his door open to announce the party was back on #3 unprepared for this party that Kalim was not going to have, Jamil had run across campus in the cold to pick up food from Sam's before it closed #4 on the way back, one of those weird nocturnal bugs scuttered across the path in front of him

...And so now, at half past one in the morning, with all of the confetti vacuumed and glitter still stuck to his skin, Jamil was washing dishes.

He's fantasizing about the sad look on Kalim's face when he would inevitably fail the alchemy lab on Monday. Again.

Just a little something to keep him awake.

A squeak of the door. Jamil tenses, praying to any god that would listen, that that is not Kalim, come to ask for milk and cookies.

"You're still up?"

Your soft voice releases some of the tension in his shoulders.

Jamil sighs. "Yes. Is it late?"

He asks that as if he doesn't know. Better to play dumb than to look pitiful. He doesn't need your sympathy, after all.

"Yeah," you say, letting the door squeak shut behind you. "Why're you still here?"

He shrugs. "I don't know the time. I suppose I lost track,"

Which is a little white lie. He's been counting every minute.

Without asking, which is so insufferably like you, you stand beside him at the sink and begin washing dishes.

"You don't need to do that," Jamil says. "I'm almost done."

Which is another white lie. There's still dishes in the lounge he hasn't even collected yet.

"Then you'll be done faster,"

An almost intolerable act of kindness, but with that knowing look in your eye. He hates that you can tell when he's lying.

"...Very well," At least you're competent.

He knows you won't break anything. And you might even wash something, too. Much different from Kalim.

"...Did you enjoy the party?" he asks.

"I didn't go,"

"Didn't you?"

You respond to everything he says with this calm, soft voice, so unassuming, so innocent, but the way you look at him says something much different.

"I didn't," you repeat. "I didn't want to."

Jamil almost smiles. "So, then, may I ask what you're doing here? You surely didn't just decide to take a stroll through Scarabia at one-forty in the morning,"

"You know the time, now?"

Damn it. How do you manage to get him so tongue-tied???

Jamil steps away from the sink and dries off his hands just to put them on his hips.

"What do you want?"

"I want to help,"

And there's that cuteness again. You must have an angle here, something you need from him, but what could he possibly have to give?

He scoffs. "Surely, you'd have better results sucking up to Kalim. Or perhaps Azul. Or anyone but me,"

Your hands never stop working, shining each dish with a gentle efficiency he almost admires.

"But I want to suck up to you,"

Jamil crosses his arms and glares. It's frustrating just how good you are at this. Playing cute. You already have everyone on campus wrapped around your finger, don't you? The housewardens, the vice housewardens, the princes, the celebrities.

What would you want out of him? What good would being in his favor do you?

"What exactly are you implying?"

You look back into the murky depths of the sink. "I like you,"

"You like me?" As if he'd believe that.

But Jamil can't deny how honest you had sounded. And from what he knew, you hardly went around saying such things in such ways. Even to your friends.

"Why?"

You hesitate. As if you genuinely don't have an answer for that. An answer he'd like to hear, anyway.

"Because... you're like me, I suppose,"

Jamil's eyes widen. A lot of feelings suddenly go through him in hot flashes- shock, anger, resentment, jealousy- but mostly...

Confusion.

You continue. "Not in a literal sense. Just that... well, you know. No one helps me, either. They look to me for support and I'm expected to just... coddle them. I can't ever be upset or angry or resentful,"

He has no response. That's...

...Not untrue.

Jamil says nothing, letting the silence be broken only by his own loud, restless, thoughts, and then he slowly returns to the sink.

He takes each plate and glass from you with trained silence, rinsing each before setting them to dry.

And he looks only at the water. He doesn't want you to see how his expression has softened.

When you're done with everything, lounge and all, he walks you to the door.

"You're fine walking home on your own?"

You nod. Jamil isn't exactly sure why he asked that, but it felt like the right thing to say.

You both linger at the door. Looking at each other. Saying nothing.

"Thank you," he finally says. "For your help. It... meant a lot to me. I probably wouldn't have finished before sunrise without you."

Again, he's not sure why he said that. It felt right. It felt good to be good to you, he supposes. And his intentions were honest, even if his words were not. He certainly wouldn't have taken that long on his own.

But a white lie has never hurt anyone.

[ravengards-rogue]

i lose control (when you're not next to me.)

javier escuella x reader

✧ tags : afab + fem!reader (gendered language + wearing dresses etc), established relationship, religious imagery (maybe sacrilege)takes place in ch.4 of rdr2, submissive!reader, soft dom!javier, some spanish petnames (mi amor mi vida, and hermosa i think), pillowing humping, penetration, very lovesick sex lol, veryy established dynamic, praise kink, written like. sooo explicitly for @nanamimizz, 18+

✧ wc : 5.2k (after editing mind you)

✧ a/n : this is fucking nuts LMAOO. i wrote this like. no bullshit in a day. i don't know how that happened. mentioned in the tags that this is for my beloved best friend but i think it's still okay to post. im losing it a little. i have hw due in an hour

✧ synopsis : javier can't help but feel some ways about the way you miss him. so dreadfully obedient. so apparently needy. how could he not adore you?

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆

There’s something a little pathetic in the way you pine after Javier that makes him a worse man than he is. 

He’s good to you though. Always. Down to his bones, the core of him. The soul of him. It’s hard to be anything but good to you. 

In all of his life, across lovers, men and women - he doesn’t think he’s met a single soul who simply likes him as much as you do. Who preens so pretty with so little, who doesn’t need much at all. Never met a woman who tucks and folds herself into corners just to be polite. Never thought he’d find it so fascinating, either - but you prove him wrong often. 

It’s testament to Javier’s adoration that he can’t help but notice you anyway. That even when your featherlight footsteps and darling voice fall off and get caught on the wind and blown away - Javier will still manage to find you. Even with all of your attempts to make yourself small and unrecognizable, his sharp brown eyes will still catch on the linen of your skirts and the threaded gold of your cross necklace. Javier’s own body betrays him in his love for you, in his wanting. 

Even though he’s not interested in pretending he doesn’t love you, his eyes and mouth and hands would look and call and search. They’d never give him the opportunity to be anything but in love. 

It’s important that he makes that known. He’s only ever interested in being a good man to you. Holding you and kissing you and worshiping you until you’re melty between his fingers. Javier loves loving the resistance out of you and you always make it so easy for him. 

He’s a good lover by nature and by practice. Passionate and maybe a little conceited, it’s not his first brush with romantics. He can only hope it’ll be his last. 

Even so, he’s never been liked the way you like him. 

You like Javier in a way you seem embarrassed by when you remember. It causes you to act in ways out of character on the surface, emboldened. Maybe just needy. Enough to bask in his praise and affection once a little liquor has touched your mouth. You like Javier in a way that makes you lovesick and puppylike, all honeyed gazes and pouty lips. He’s never met somebody who likes him the way you do, without grandstanding. Just pure, puppy love. Almost innocent if you don’t look too long. 

Almost being what matters most. 

Javier knows the way you were raised, after all. Knows the intimate ways in which you fold yourself and tuck your wants between the pages of your diary and slip your requests under your tongue. It’s hard for you to want for anything too much because you’ve been told your whole life that wanting at all is a sin. Wanting may even get you killed. A good woman should want nothing but salvation. Anything more than that is indulgence and there’s nothing good about that. It translates in the way you carry yourself. You’ll stop and fumble and shy away before even fixing your lips to ask, like you’re planning on being rejected or told no. 

A good girl like you being told no so often, it’s made you all sacrifice and empty prayers. Javier often feels grief about your lives before each other but nothing makes it so evident as that. A good woman, a beautiful and kind and soft one like you should never hear the words no without the best of reasons. That’s what Javier believes for all of his lovers, but you’re special. 

And that makes it worse. 

For you he’d do anything. No price he wouldn’t pay, no place he wouldn’t go, nothing that’s too far out of his reach. He thinks maybe he’s so eager to give it to you because he knows you don’t have it in you to take it yourself. You won’t whine greedily even if Javier tells you too, so Javier’s giving is only a partial virtue. It’s mostly pride, after all. It hurts his ego a little when you refuse to bask in the love he so enthusiastically wants to drown you in. 

Despite his complaints though, it’s a part of you that makes him so weak to you. That you want with such desperation but don’t allow yourself to take - so it makes you pliant and willing and terribly, adorably pathetic. You’re so weak for Javier. Just for him, you always say. Always with a hand in his, or wrapped around his bicep. All yours, Javi. Always his. 

That’s the thing. Javier wants to give everything in the world to you. He wants to be good to you, and he so often is. But you do things sometimes, all collapsed under the weight of your own desire that drive him insane. Make him act in ways he normally wouldn’t dream of doing. Depraved and filthy and unromantic in all senses of the word. 

It’s really not very polite for Javier to stand and watch you at his door - humping his pillow with weeps and huffs. It’s not kind to embarrass you. He’s a good man, and a good man would cover you with his coat and maybe smile about how much you care for him. 

But there’s just something about the look on your face when you do it, something about the tear stains in your lashes and the way your cheek is pressed in his jacket. Something about that needy, incessant little ache in your voice as you call and call and call for him. As if you’re hoping you’ll answer despite him not being there.

Javier is a good man to you. Maybe he could be better. Maybe he’s not good enough.  

He stands in the doorway of your shared bedroom with a soft, gentle grin. There’s no question he’s behaving a worse man than he is. Than he ought to be. 

He’s quiet as he shuts the door, balancing his weight to remain noiseless. 

Javier doesn’t particularly like being all the way out in Saint Denis nor is he fond of intel missions. The city is loud, the people unfriendly - though he likes the music and art. He prefers staying in camp if he can help it, but this big bank heist has everyone busy. He’s at least thankful that it’s given him an excuse to be with you. Your knowledge of herbs and poisons and the like have been helpful to gathering information. Been a lot of slipping things in drinks and making people forget. The sort of dirty work he’s accustomed too, while also getting a chance to be with you in a place with four walls and a bath. A dream for the future, maybe. 

It’s been nice, but he’s been out now for two days - out in the streets gathering information about Bronte’s people. A bunch of lowlifes just like them, but with their hands in the pocket of the city. He’s only been gone for two days, so there’s no reason you should miss him this much. And yet he hears it anyway. And it pleases him, truthfully. 

He takes off his coat as he listens to you at the doorway. Shrugs the middle-weight material of his sheen suit jacket over his shoulders and lays it on a chair, takes off his wingtip-gaiter shoes, undoes the yellow puff tie from around his neck. Nothing but a white linen dress shirt and the dark black slacks he’s been wearing for days now, some parts covered in bloodstains he only barely managed to wash out in the river not long ago. 

He’s thankful he took a bath before getting in now, listening to you moan. His hands being clean feel like a blessing - just his luck. 

He manages to remain quiet as he steps into the main room - a single bed in the center. Javier finds you there in a heap as he rests his body along the wall of the entrance to his right. He crosses his arms over his chest as he takes a minute to take in the scenery, admiring the soft lowlights and the way they cast shadow on your body. 

The wooden bed frame creaks slightly as you rut your hips. You’re out of it, Javier can tell, since you’ve yet to sense the fact he’s come in. The paintings along the back wall click against soft red walls themselves, over and over in an arrhythmic tic. Javier tries not to laugh. Gives himself a minute to admire the moment for what it is, the vulnerable desperation of your lust. He has to get over the disbelief, too. Over the fact your face is buried in the open part of his bluecoat and that you’ve got a hotel pillow(his hotel pillow) between your legs. One that you’re humping so frantically he can’t help but feel sorry for you. 

You’re making a mess.

You are a mess. The way the white chemise falls over your back and hips, and the lack of finesse in your gestures. If Javier had to bet money on it - he’d bet money on the fact you probably didn’t start this way. He figures you nested with his coat and pillow to go to sleep and then worked yourself into something senseless and desperate. And he’d figure if he didn’t show up, you wouldn’t cum at all. You’d go to bed all frustrated and tired and just wait for him like always. 

Any man would be pleased by it, he thinks. And a good one would never embarrass you about it. Javier tries his best. Weighs his options, but the words slip from his mouth before he can think to stop them. 

Pure elation in his words wrapped up in a smug delight. “Aye, hermosa - you’re gonna ruin my things you know?” 

Your reaction is what he expects. You jump out of your skin first, sitting straight up. Javier bites back a laugh as you do, big wide eyes like a deer caught in the scope of a rifle. You look around the room, worried you’re imagining him. Once you’ve come back to reality enough to realize he’s real and tangible - all the neediness washes right back into your expression. 

“Javier,” You sniffle and god. Javier hopes the heavens are more merciful to him than he is to you. “Javi,” 

“I’m home,” He voices in a partial tease, walking towards you. He can tell you want to run to him. To crawl into his arms and lap and collapse there forever, but the dull throbbing between your legs is stopping you. “I would ask if you missed me but, somehow I get the feeling you did.” 

You let out a soft, sniffly whine as Javier sits in the bed next to you. He turns his body to face you a little better but keeps distance. You turn your face towards him. Javier cups your cheek in his palm, eyes tracing your features. Your lips are bruised like you’ve been biting on them to keep the noise down and your eyes are wet with tears, red stained in the waterline. His thumb brushes along the thin skin of your lower lip, clicking his teeth at you. 

“Look at you,” He reprimands, his voice tender as he leans in to give you a little relief. You kiss Javier too eagerly, impatient and lacking your usual timidness. It’s how he knows how far you’ve fallen. How simple and easy your reactions are. “You’re going to hurt yourself pushing so desperately,” He laughs again, a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Does it feel good, at least?” 

“It’s better when you do it,” You admit, falling forward. Javier doesn’t let you drop, but he doesn’t comfort you right away either. He laughs and lets a hand rest on your lower back, relishing in your reaction. You shiver, sensitive and overstimulated with so little at all. 

“I know,” He coos with as much faux-sympathy as he can manage. “Couldn’t wait for me a little longer? I’m hurt.”

“Nooo,” You draw the words out, pitiful and upset “I’m sorry. I missed you,” 

“It’s okay,” Javier says, knowing he wasn’t mad in the first place. Not even a little. “Ahh, what should I do with you now, do you think?” 

It’s hard not to laugh at the immediate noise of disapproval. He’s sure you’d be able to ask him for what you want if he coaxed you into it. One whispered word of tell me what you want, and you’d be begging for his cock with ease. Filthy words from such a pretty mouth, he likes the idea. 

But he’s feeling… something. Something on the border of sadistic and loving that has him instead thinking. 

Pretending to think. 

“Maybe you should keep going, hm? You’ll think clearer once you’ve let it out, don’t you think?” 

“I can’t,” You bemoan, pleading with him. “I’m trying but it’s—it’s not enough, Javier, please.” 

He shakes his head. “Oh, man. What am I gonna do with you? Should I help you, mi amor?” 

You nod your head rapidly. As if he’d ever leave you out to dry when you look all pretty helpless. He doesn’t mention it to you. “Please,” 

“Yeah? I’ll help you then.” He offers, taking your hand and guiding you to his lap with his legs stretched out. He sits you over his thighs, glancing back at his jacket and pillow, brows raised when he sees how sticky they both are. Your habit of drooling and your cunt soaking his pillow case, he laughs just a little seeing the state of them. You must notice because you hit his shoulders weakly. “So needy,” 

“Javier.” 

“Alright, alright,” He laughs again, kissing your cheek as he brings you to him. You frown but comply with his handling of you, strong hands pulling you over his thigh. He sits you down until your bare cunt is pressed against the clothed muscle. It dawns on you what he’s doing as he’s doing it, a noisy little whimper sounding as Javier pulls you close. Close enough to wrap your arms around his neck. He puts a hand on the back of your head, encouraging you to bury his face into the space of his shoulder. He can feel the relief in you when you do, slumping into him a second time today. “You have to move on your own, you know? I won’t help you.” 

“You’re being awful,” You say with no real malice or bite. 

“I’m a little hurt, that’s all. And I’m helping you aren’t I? Is that not what you want?” 

You groan against the skin of his neck. “I want your…ngh,” 

He hums against you, decides to be merciful since he’s teased you plenty and he’s going to tease you more. 

“Wanna feel me right here, don’t you?” He puts a hand between your bodies, pressing the back of his hand into your stomach. “I know, I know. But I want you to cum like this first.”

“Can’t do it by myself,” You sniffle. Don’t even try to push back, so obedient and willing. Javier hums sympathetically. 

“I’m here right? I’ll help you, mi vida. I’m not that mean, am I?” 

You shake your head no. He most definitely is, but maybe he can keep that a secret from you a little longer. 

“Here,” He says. Javier pulls your chemise up until it’s pooling at your waist. Strong, tan hands hold at your hips, squeezing the soft skin with a warm sigh. You keen immediately. He pushes his thigh up just slightly to give you the right kind of friction. Hiccuping in his lap, he sets a pace for you to grind yourself on him. A slower back and forth. When you get too wet, too needy - you get sloppy. Sometimes he can give it to you hard and fast but you’re sensitive. Sensitive to the point it’s easy to make you hurt, make yourself hurt if you’re too clumsy. 

You’re always chasing pleasure but you don’t know anything about build-up. For a girl who tends to keep to herself and is always so meticulous - there’s something about seeing you get so sloppy that turns Javier on. When you’re wet and can’t think straight “Not too fast, okay? You’re sensitive, need it slow at first to make it feel good if it’s like this. Did you forget?” 

You nod, then moan hotly against his throat. Javier shivers at the way your tune changes. He can feel you breathe in his scent and relax as he guides your hips. He eventually stops touching you. Lets you take control of the pace just like he shows you. You manage to pace yourself despite how much you want to cum. Javier can feel how pent up you are. The fabric of his slacks going sticky, tacky from cum and arousal. 

You smell nice and soft, like baby powder and something floral. 

Javier’s been hard since he got in the door, but it’s starting to fog his mind up. Feeling your tits press against his chest, feeling your skin against his. Soft and pliant and beautiful. He kisses against your shoulders as you slowly start to build your orgasm up again. Not that it’s hard. 

You pull away from him, briefly - and your face makes his dick twitch. You’re always pretty but you’re especially pretty like this. Drool drips from the corners of your mouth, eyes lidded and barely blinking.

“Javi,” Your words are slurred. Javier laughs but doesn’t clean you up. “Kiss me,” 

“Sure,” He replies, though he’s all too happy to do it. Javier kisses you with tongue. He knows it’s what you want. Your hands curl up at his chest as he brings his own to cup your head and pull you to him. His tongue in your mouth is invasive but precise, knowing all the ways you want him to nip and kiss and suck on your mouth. You whine in complete pleasure, drunk from the sensation and he’s hardly touched you at all. 

He thinks of how he’ll fuck you as he kisses you. He’ll touch you more than he is now and you’ll fuck like lovesick rabbits until sunrise. It’s less something Javier decides and more something he knows. Like once he opens the door to pleasing you like this, it’ll be tough on him to close it again. 

“Javi,” You keep calling his name. It might be the only word you remember. Always seems to be when you get like this. “It feels so good. Feels so good when you touch me,” 

Javier kisses against your bare shoulder and neck, teeth scraping soft against your clavicles. “Mm. You’re doing well. A very good girl today,” 

You shudder at the praise, all the hairs on your neck raising from the drop of it. Javier laughs. You whine his name again but he doesn’t reply. He can feel you more than he can see you. Your body is twitching against his thigh and your muscles are tight where you hug against him. Javier calms you. 

“Gonna cum soon, huh?” 

You nod over and over, but can barely keep your head up to do it. And he laughs, full of fondness and affection as he peppers your face with kisses. He doesn’t have it in him suddenly, to tease you about it any more. He encourages you instead, hand on your hips to give you more friction as you start to grow erratic in your breathing. You pant hard against his ear, like you’re chasing something. Little bunny rabbit, he thinks. Your voice is little more than a croak. 

“Oh,” You moan, loud and helpless and needy as you cling to him. Your hands fisted in the back of his shirt as you cry out his name one more time. A prayer, maybe. Or a curse. Something in between. “Javier, oh,” 

“Shhh, that’s it. Just like that. Good girl. You’re so good to me.” 

You weep into his neck as you cum, your whole body tightening before breaking out into aroused shakes. You’ve completely lost it in front of him. On the brink of insanity with nothing but pleasure filling your empty-head. You hump against him thoughtlessly as you ride out your high, then finally lean against him when you’ve managed to reach the end of it. You don’t move. Javier can feel how big the wet patch of his pants has grown and tries not to laugh. 

You’re only barely coherent when you’ve finally pulled away. Your pupils are blown out and your face is flushed, sweat making your hair stick to your skin in the places it’s not tucked away. Javier laughs at the state you’re in, brushing his thumb along your cheek just beneath your eyes. 

“Are you with me still, do you think?” 

You nod, seemingly exhausted. He laughs again and kisses your temple. 

“Want you,” You say, despite your state. His eyes widen again at how soon after you’re asking him. He was planning on taking his time, but that plan might just be out of the race. He’s not above you begging him so sweetly. “Please, Javi. Need you, need you so bad.” 

You sound like you’re about to cry. He speaks in soft murmurs. “I thought you’d be too tired to keep going right away.” 

“No,” You mumble and shake your head. “Please. Please, want you so bad.” 

“You’re exhausted, mi vida.” 

“Please,” 

He chuckles. “Okay. Okay, don’t cry. Whatever you want, remember. Unbutton my shirt for me, mi amor.” 

You sniffle, your hands shaking as you fulfill his request. You’re exceptional at listening. Javier smiles at you, your eyes meeting as you do. You flush and pout, only barely managing to maintain his gaze without looking away. You unbutton his shirt dutifully. He puts a hand on your arm and rubs it soothingly. “You must’ve missed me a lot, huh.” 

You nod. “It’s bad, you know? Two days shouldn’t feel so long. It didn’t use too.” 

“Just means we love each other,” Javier assures, a safe place for you to express your neediness. “That’s nothing bad,” 

You nod, pressing your forehead to his. “That’s true,” 

“See? And it’s nice you know. Having someone miss me. Wait for me. Makes me want to come home instead of, I don’t know.” He feels his throat tighten at the sincerity but pushes through anyway “Dying for the cause. Or even just because.” 

It’s the first time you’ve smiled all day and god. Might be the only thing that’s ever mattered. Above all forms of love prior and past. Above revolution. Above god. Just you. You smile, happy and elated and keep unbuttoning his shirt with a coquettish-ness to you. Comfortable and safe. 

You help Javier out of his shirt, and wait for his approval to go after his pants. Undoing the buttons, you free his cock from the confines with a soft gasp. Javier laughs at the reaction, cat-like grin on his features. 

“Nothing you haven’t seen before.”  

“It’s so big,” You say, your hand wrapping around it briefly. Javier swears, head against the headboard. 

“Careful,” He warns, laughing thickly. “I’m pretty pent up too,” 

“Want it inside me,” You say so easily it startles him. You blink up at him through your lashes, too pretty for your own good. “Please?” 

“Should open you up a little.” 

“Want it to hurt,” You reply instantly. Javier feels his breath hitch. 

“Oh, fuck.” He breathes, trying to keep himself from cumming in your hands. “We’ll go slow.”

You nod quickly, not wanting to wait any longer. Javier curses himself for not being more polite. 

He guides your arms around his neck, his own arm around your waist as he lays you down on your back. You look up at him, surprised by his handling of you but not upset by it all. You mumble something he doesn’t catch, but it sounds pleased. 

Javier finds that he’s fond of missionary. He didn’t think he was the type, but there’s something about seeing you laid on your back that he likes. Likes being able to look at you and be close to you, to whisper sweet nothings in your ear as you curl into him. He lays you down gently on his spine, laughing at the way your legs wrap around his waist the second you’re comfortable. His hands go up under your knees but don’t push you too far. You spread your legs for him naturally, eyes fluttering with exhaustion and leftover stupid want. He looks down at you and smiles. 

“One more, okay? Just the one.” 

“I can’t,” You whine “Too sensitive. Just want you to cum on me,” 

“Are you doubting me?” He challenges, only partially. Your eyes widen and he chuckles. “Of course you can. One more,” 

You whimper, suddenly realizing you had no choice in the first place. But you nod, relenting to him like you so often do. Javier kisses you. It means more things that he’s comfortable telling. Means thank you, and that he’s sorry, that he loves you. He kisses you one more time after that, and smiles at how happy you seem because of it.

Finally, when Javier lays you down on the sheets beneath you - it feels like finding religion all over again. The loose material of your chemise has given up on covering you, exposing the soft mound of your chest and hardened nipples. He can see your neck and shoulders and everything else above and below. You’re so beautiful his cock twitches again, hard. 

He sits back up on his knees and takes a deep breath as he lays his cock against your puffy folds. You breathe soft, an aching sound from the back of your throat as you pull your skirt up to give him better access. He laughs gently at that, examining how nearly seven inches measures up to you and feels a little dizzy in the process of it. He’s done this with you so many times now, practically trained your body to take him without too much trouble. A welcome change from when you could barely fit the tip, too inexperienced to do it but even more determined. 

Even still some part of him worries about it. It’s not enough to stop him though, not nearly. His cock twitches against hard, wanting for you. He looks down at you and sees you stare up, admiring his figure. He laughs. 

“Like the view?” 

You nod. “Mm. Uh-huh.” 

“I’m glad,” He replies, then adds “Deep breath,” 

So you take a deep breath, and Javier pushes the tip of his cock into you with a loud grunt. You’re so soft. Wet, and pliant and soft around the swollen head of his cock, he can’t help but shudder with relief and desire. Can’t help but grit his teeth and grip onto your hips to steady himself. 

You breathe like the air has been punched out of your lungs, saying his name dreamily. “Oh, Javi,” 

He swears under his breath, something incoherent as he pushes the tip push into you evenly. It’s not easy. The resistance is there, but you don’t whine in pain right way - so it means it’s not too hard on you. Perhaps loosened by the previous orgasm, or simply so needy that it doesn’t bug you. Still, Javier makes sure to keep himself tight. He rocks, back and forth, ignoring the agony of that sensation to keep him from thrusting up into your soft, welcoming cunt. If he listened to what he wanted, he can’t be confident it wouldn’t make you ache. He already knows you will with this much. 

It takes a few minutes, and some whimpering from you before he finally manages to bottom out. 

You feel good. God, you feel good. 

He can’t imagine heaven, but he thinks being inside of you might be close enough. There’s certainly all the makings of religion when he makes love to you. You, a soft and loving deity, and him - a man laden with sin who longs to be saved. It makes sense to compare you that way. And it feels just as euphoric as the always described, being wrapped in you. Being part of your completion. What's religion without worshippers, anyway? 

Javier groans as he bottoms out inside of. When he manages to peel his eyes open and look at you, you’re debauched. He’s debased you this completely and he doesn’t know if you can even tell. He laughs, leaning down to kiss your neck and run pecks against your jaw. 

“Feel good?” 

“Feels so good,” You moan, then hold him tighter. “I love you. Love you Javier,” 

“Me too, mi amor. Para siempre. ” He hums, kissing your forehead before looking at you. “Can I move?” 

“Please,” 

“Touch yourself for me,” He tells you patiently. “Make yourself feel good.” 

You nod, dazed - a hand between your bodies as Javier sets a pace to fuck you. He knows you in and out. At least well enough to know exactly the ways to make you feel good. Only a few thrusts for him to find the perfect pace, perfect rhythm, perfect spot. You make a noise like a songbird, deep in the back of your throat and Javier can feel you pulse around him in pleasure. 

You stay like that, with him. Javier fucks you to his hearts content in deep, long thrusts - angled against the softest parts of you and wanting to make you feel good. He whispers sweet nothings as your nails dig into the muscle of his back. You feel good for him. You are good for him, wet and perfect. It takes all of his strength to fuck you consistently, the bed rocking underneath you both as he gives it to you hard. 

“I’m close,” You whimper, not seeming to believe yourself despite. “I’m so close, oh god, Javier.” 

“That’s it,” He whispers, chuckling against your skin “One more. Just one more and I’ll give it to you.” 

It’s the promise of his cum that drives you over the edge. You gasp and groan, shuddering as Javier pounds you through your second orgasms. He groans as he feels your pussy spasm and tighten around him, practically begging him to put it inside. He’s nearly lost his sense enough to do it, unhelped by the way your sweet voice begs him for it. He practically has to pry himself away from you, out of you to keep himself from cumming inside as deep as he can possibly go. 

He manages, barely, to stave off his own orgasm. Long enough pull himself out of you with a broken gasp and cum outside of you. Making a mess of your stomach and your soft, swollen cunt with his seed. He paints you in thick ropes of whites as he swears loud in the process, euphoria rumbling through him uninterrupted. 

“Fuck,” He moans, finally getting to the end of it. A little embarrassed by how much of a mess he’s made right along with you. “You do something crazy to me, you know that?” 

You stare at him, bleary eyed and giggly despite your exhaustion. “I know. Me too. I missed you,” 

He laughs, and can’t find the words to say anything but the same back. Of course Javier is a worse man when you’re around. 

Any man loved this much is bound to be a little ruined. 

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Fully prepared for this to be a minority position but I am deeply emotionally invested in Paul and Chani not getting back together in Dune Messiah. Not just because I love angst and tragedy (I do) but because I don't think there's a way to do it without undermining the narrative and character arcs that Dune Part Two executed so well.

Paul and Chani's relationship in the Villeneuve films exists on a totally different foundation from what's in the books. It's a political love story and you simply cannot separate out the politics from the romance. Their connection starts with the politics and the love is built on top of that.

It's not just that they happen to fall in love while fighting together in an anti-colonial guerrilla war; that is why she falls in love with him. Because he is willing to take the same risks as her in fighting for her people's liberation. Not by trying to impose himself as a leader (at first) but side by side with her as comrades and equals. Let me fight beside you. That's all I'm asking. He is quite literally willing to put his body on the line for a struggle that's been with her all her life, that she cannot escape, but that he could walk away from if he chose. And in fact he proves himself to be an asset and not a liability in this struggle and they start winning. And yeah that shit's romantic as fuck!! Kudos to whoever on the writing team was like actually direct action solidarity is sexy af because they were right and they should say it! There clearly is some attraction or at least interest in Paul on Chani's part from fairly early on, but it's only after he's proven his political worth, in battle, that she allows herself to trust him on a personal level enough to begin a romantic relationship with him. (And it's only after Paul takes off the Atreides ring, the symbol of the fact that he came there to rule over her, that the narrative permits him to advance to this point.) They could have been comrades but not lovers, but never the other way around, because there's no other version of Paul that this Chani would have fallen in love with.

It's important that they meet in circumstances where Paul has no structural power over her. Chani never would have trusted the Paul who stood in the colonial palace and pledged to "honor" Stilgar by offering him hospitality on his own fucking planet. Because she would have known, just as Stilgar did, that such an offer of fellowship, no matter how genuine and well-intentioned, is not made on equal terms. It's only once Paul has been forcibly separated from his colonial privilege that they have even a chance to approach each other as human beings. (And, in a sort of dark irony, that violence becomes a bridge that connects them. That Paul is driven not by abstract power games among the Great Houses but by real grief and anger over the violent death of people he loves at the hands of the Harkonnens must surely be something Chani understands. And it builds a level of trust and empathy between them, that she doesn't have to explain the stakes of what they're fighting for. He knows it in his bones.)

It's not a coincidence that all their explicitly romantic moments are shot through with politics. Their first kiss is wrapped up in a conversation about what it means to be Fremen and I would very much like to be equal to you. (Yes, he's flirting his ass off with that line, but I do think he is sincere.) Their single post-coital scene has I'm no messiah, I'm a fedaykin of Sietch Tabr--not just a commitment to her people and her home but to her specific form of political struggle in which he is joining her. Throughout their whole relationship, the personal and the political are so interwoven as to be indistinguishable from one another.

This kind of commingling of emotional commitment to a person with political commitment to a culture/people/cause could have very easily slid into something tokenizing or fetishistic, but the writing manages to avoid that by sticking very strongly to a couple of guardrails. One, Chani is not some passive prize to be won, but an active agent of her own liberation, whether Paul is in the picture or not. She is the Fremen liberation struggle within the political allegory of the film; she is its voice and embodiment from the moment we meet her. On a character level, she is doing her thing and it's up to Paul to either follow or get out of the way. Even though we know he is afraid of her dying, he never once suggests she leave the front lines of armed struggle (can you imagine?) because that struggle is such a fundamental part of who she is and what he loves about her.

Two--and this one is important for what comes next--the narrative never trivializes the political side of their relationship in favor of the romantic. The second Paul reaches for any kind of power over the Fremen, over Chani, the trust between them is broken and the romance cannot continue. She might still love him as a person--you don't just turn that off--but she cannot be in love with him as the Lisan al-Gaib, fulfillment of a false prophecy she hates; as the Duke of Arrakis, her colonial overlord; or as the Emperor of the Known Universe, overlord of her overlord. As soon as he pulls that shit he is just another colonizer and she's done with him.

And like, kudos to the narrative for being absolutely uncompromising on that point! That's what makes both the political allegory and the personal tragedy hit so hard! Paul, bro, you fucked that one up good and now you are Experiencing a Consequence! I LOVE that in the end, love isn't enough. All the love in the world isn't enough to keep Chani from walking out at the end of the film, because the foundation that love is built on is broken and cannot be repaired.

(I do believe that by the time he is declaring himself Emperor, Paul thinks he has no choice, that this is the only way to save the people he loves from any number of worse fates. But that, too, is a betrayal, of a kind I don't think Paul fully understands. Because either you think the Fremen are capable of governing their own planet or you don't. Deciding unilaterally that having a "friendly" imperialist in power is the best you can hope for is a profound denial of the agency of the people Paul claims to be doing this in the name of. It's either paternalism or despair, and neither are acceptable modes of thinking for a serious revolutionary. Chani would tell you as much.)

The thing with making a bold writing choice like that is that...you cannot then walk it back in the next film with Chani choosing to forgive Paul or coming around to seeing the world his way and understanding that yes it's politically unsavory and he's manipulating the people he said he was in solidarity with but this was the only way! If you do that then the whole framework of what the first two films are trying to say about power and imperialism and resistance and solidarity collapses into incoherence. On a thematic level Dune Messiah is all about the consequences of Paul taking power the way he did and these are the consequences.

And on a character level...I just don't see any way to come back from such a deep betrayal. Even if some part of Chani still loves him. Even if she's pregnant with his child(ren). (We have like, zero information about how movie Chani feels about family and pregnancy and childrearing that would indicate that she would care one bit about her children's biological father being involved in their lives when he is otherwise busy being a space dictator.)

There are several categories of scenarios I can think of to get Paul and Chani interacting again (she goes back to him as a spy/assassin; she's brought back to the palace under some sort of duress, "for her safety" or even as a political prisoner) but none of them involve them being genuinely together as a couple. I could also see them not interacting at all for most of Dune Messiah. What I cannot see is any scenario in which she genuinely forgives him or ever fucking trusts him again. That shit is over and there's no getting it back.

[merp-blerp]

Random things about Cinderella (1950) I noticed/want to say after doing a psych project on it

I love the foreshadowing they do with the clock striking midnight when Cinderella is startled by the morning clock and she says "Even he orders me around." I never noticed it that way before.

The reason why no one recognizes Cinderella at the ball is because A) she seemingly wasn't allowed off her stepmother's property, so no one in town had ever seen her before or since she was a child, and B) when she gets there the prince immediately introduces himself and dances her away from everyone. The duke even pulls a curtain to separate her and him from the guests so they can dance alone. Almost no one gets a good up-close look at her except the prince.

I've said before on here that I think the prince in this movie was meant to be more of a symbolic personification of Cinderella's freedom rather than a literal character, and I still think that. However, I find it interesting that everything we know about the prince is told through others, not him. He doesn't get to be known. The only person he ever even gets to speak to is Cinderella. He also has a bit of character (relayed by others). His father laments that the prince is growing farther away from him the older he gets, he avoids responsibilities, and suggests that he's a hopeless romantic. It's also worth noting that the prince has no idea the ball is for the purpose of setting him up with a wife. He supposedly was led by the king to believe it was a welcome home ball, as he was away from home before (the ball invitees don't seem aware either until the night after the ball when they do the slipper fittings). [EDIT: I forgot to mention that I sappily like to interpret this as Cinderella, his eventual wife, being the only one who ever truly knows him, as he assumedly isn't close to the king or anyone else, so this is reflected in the fact that even us, the audience, don't get to know him like Cinderella must. Probably not the intention, but it's cute.] He also doesn't have severe facial blindness, he probably would've recognized Cinderella without the slipper but A) it was the king who thought of the whole slipper-fitting idea; all the prince supposedly said was that he'd marry the girl who wore the glass slipper, and B) He is explicitly not the one to do the slipper-fitting. The grand duke does it. But even the grand duke seems to recognize her before she gets the slipper on (he saw her up close briefly while she ran away and chased after her).

Also, as Cinderella runs from the prince, the other maidens there crowd him, so he can't get to her to stop her, but they only stop him to converse with him about how "lovely" she is, not because they want him, which is kinda wholesome. Again, no one was there to try and marry the prince because no one knew that's what the ball was for to begin with except the king and duke.

Cinderella is definitely very kind, but she knows the treatment she gets from her family is not right. She speaks somewhat passive-aggressively about them when they're not around. I like that touch.

When her stepfamily teases her over her excitement that she could go to the ball because she's eligible, she asserts that she's still a part of the family. Even though she's being abused, it's a type of abuse where she thinks her family must value her in some way. I think when her sisters ripped her dress apart was the moment she realized she wasn't a part of the family after all and that she wasn't loved/valued.

Lady Tremaine was so different from other Disney princess villains at the time. Allow me to go on for a bit. Compare her to the evil queen or Maleficent (who are also great). They have a very booming presences and everyone knows they are monsters, it's just that no one can stop them until the end of their stories. But Lady Tremaine knows how to fool people by having a motherly disposition. Not in a nurturing way, but in a stern, tough “love”, almost “calm” way. She never yells at anyone (just raises her voice) or acts traditionally evil in the way the evil queen or Maleficent do. More bite than bark I guess. For example, when she lets the step-sisters rip Cinderella’s dress, she simply tells them to come along afterwards and tells Cinderella goodnight like a mother might, but without affection with it, like a covert dig; she doesn't visibly get cross with Cinderella, but what she’s doing is still abuse. Even Cinderella seems to see her as a mother in one way or another before the dress ripping (I don't think Cinderella ever calls her "Step-Mother" again after the dress-ripping she allowed her sisters to do). She's very covert in her villainy. A very good depiction of an abuser. The only other Disney villain I can think to compare her to off the top of my head is Scar from the og Lion King when he was around anyone who wasn't the hyenas, but even then he dropped the act eventually after becoming king. Lady Tremaine never really does.

I also like the detail that after the ball when trying to tell the step-sisters about the shoe-fitting, she asks Cinderella, “Where are my daughters?” excluding Cinderella from being her daughter even though she should be. She really only sees her as a maid.

Cinderella's pink dress has a lot of bows, and at the beginning of the film, we see her when she was younger and the dress she wore as a child also had bows and was in a somewhat similar style. Her childhood dresses were probably taken away by Lady Tremaine when her dad died. Makes me wonder if Cinderella redesigned her mom's dress with her dress from youth in mind, as she certainly hadn't worn a nice dress since she was a kid. And if so, what would that mean? Was she just feeling nostalgic? Or had her sense of style not matured since childhood because she had been made to wear nothing but rags for who knows how long? Is her only frame of reference to what her own personal style is based from her childhood dresses? I just think it's kinda intriguing. The pink dress always felt explicitly young for Cinderella.

Cinderella's voice is so cute. Not just her singing, but her voice in general. Ilene Woods, love of my life apparently.

People often complain about Cinderella marrying the prince the day after the shoe fit, but Disney's version never specifically states that the wedding is the day after the slipper scene, it just comes right after it. Who's to say how much time there was in between scenes. There are versions that do say that it was the next day, so I guess people conflate different versions together in their heads. This is why it's important to watch films with your brain on before criticizing them for things they didn't do.

I never thought too deeply of it, but when Cinderella sings the words "So this is love" she really is (re)learning what love is. It's a realization. She likely hasn't felt love from another human being since her father died. Or rather she thought she was loved in some way, but then realized she wasn't when her dress was ripped. So now, with the prince, she has a better understanding of what it's like to be properly loved. Imagine hating this girl. 🩵

[firelxdykatara]

I think part of what frustrates me about age gap discourse with respect to BTVS specifically is that framing Buffy's relationship with Angel as 'grown man preys on teenage girl' requires that you ignore everything about the context of the show, the context that their relationship occurs within, and also what it means for both of them as characters and for the show as a whole.

It's also just like, really boring?

Like before you get to any of the story reasons why that's just a stupidly reductive analytical framework, you have to start with this: in a story aimed at teenagers, the fantasy is of being special and desired by a sexy immortal, and because the story is aimed at teenagers, the main characters are (or start as) teenagers, since the coming of age narrative that underpins everything else doesn't work without it. Hard to tackle that transition from adolescence to adulthood with a main character who begins the series as an adult!

(And it's not as if coming of age stories for adults don't exist. Phoebe Halliwell is a very good example--unlike her older sisters, she starts off unemployed and kind of adrift and desperate to find a purpose, which she ultimately does as a witch and a Charmed One, and all of this is done while she, as the youngest, is in her early twenties at the series start, because the show is primarily aimed at adults.)

And the thing is, Angel isn't just some adult man preying on a highschooler for kicks because he can't find women his own age. As Angelus, he spent well over a century enamored with Darla and committing wanton slaughter and destruction by her side. As Angel, with the exception of Buffy, all of his love interests are adults, and his love for Buffy is not tied to her youth, innocence, or naivete, considering that it links and binds them so completely that they keep crossing in and out of each other's lives through the end of Buffy's show, with the door explicitly open for a future relationship once Buffy's finished baking.

What draws Angel to Buffy--and what makes their relationship so dangerously compelling and also ultimately spells its downfall as, within the text of the show, it is explicitly a tragedy--is the fact that she's the Slayer.

That's the key point--her status as the Chosen One! He is drawn to her (as all vampires are, to a greater or lesser extent, but it's no accident that her only other truly earth shattering romantic relationship in the series is with another vampire) because she's the Slayer, and because of the soul he was cursed to bear and the guilt he feels for the evil he committed as a vampire, he wants to protect and save her as part of his atonement. He falls in love with her because she brings light back into the darkness he has been cast into since being forced to bear a soul even as a monster. And he would be 241 years old whether he was turned as a teenager and could pass as one of her peers or turned at 26 (the show is inconsistent on the age at which he was turned and it really doesn't matter, since the buffyverse never tries to pretend vampires are 'frozen' at the age they're turned anyway), and yes, part of what is darkly compelling about their relationship is that the age difference is obvious (Sarah Michelle Gellar was 20 and David Boreanaz was 28 during season 1), but the reason Angel being an 'older man' is never considered super relevant (aside from a few lampshades) is because... it really isn't.

The important thing, the critical thing, the thing that matters in the context of their relationship is that Angel is a vampire. That's why when Angel pulls out his 'I'm 241, you're 16' spiel it rings so hollow--because that doesn't really matter to either of them and he knows it. He's trying to push her away because it's the only way he can really protect her, and even then it doesn't work, and they all suffer for it horribly, Buffy most of all. (And even then she can't stop loving him, nor he her, and that makes it all the more tragic when he realizes the only thing he can do for her is leave.)

Also, it really throws into sharp relief the fact that people care so much about Buffy being a teenage girl when it comes to her romantic relationships but not at all when it comes to her being fated to die. Something the show itself is also quite critical of, because that's part of the point--being the Slayer is an awful burden that none of them have ever had a choice but to bear, and Buffy was supposed to die at sixteen years old. The only reason she survives is because she broke the rules by trying to have a normal life in addition to being the Slayer, which is the only reason she has friends to help her and save her, and I'm supposed to look at all of that and care that her broody vampire bf was a 'grown man' when he was turned? Really?

I don't think so. You can't just be willing to take what the show says for itself at face value when it comes to all the fighting and killing and dying but then balk when it comes to sex. That just doesn't work for me. (I mean, you can, and a lot of people do, but it's frustrating, hence this post.)

[torialefay]

Hi! I love your writing. I was wondering if you had the time if you could do a skz thing on who prefers rough sex vs love making (like the slow, handholding while thrusting in you romantic type). Or however you want to answer, everything you do is great. And it’s also great if you don’t want to.

honeyyyy, the "it's also great if you don't want to" is breaking my heart. you are seriously too sweet 🥺🫶🏼 these are my rough og thoughts!!!

chris: depends on the day, but is usually either one or the other. because he has all of that scorp energy, he is definitely gonna go deep & slow with you alotttt of the time. like if y'all have nothing to do & are just at home all day, you bet your ass he's gonna take his sweet time & be good and slow with you. he loves knowing that you both have a strong, insatiable connection. and he honestly craves for you to need him badly like that, so he's basically gonna fuck his love into you. BUT, he's also got a lil sag mars action going on too, so he will need to switch it up from time to time & i can definitely see him getting heated and aggressive with it. especially if you don't have much time, but he's just superrrr horny... if he knows you like it, he will NOT take it easy on you. i'm imagining a lot of spanking or ass grabbing going on too idk.

minho: almost always combines the two. i definitely see lee know as the type to start slowly and make sure that he has you waiting and writhing to get more from him. he wabts you to connect onto his energy and basically beg him for more. he'll go slow & establish that early on. because he has all of that scorp energy (like INTENSE scorp energy), he's going to NEED that to establish the mood for the night. BUT i think as he moves on through the night, he gradually gets rougher and rougher. before you know it, he has full control of you and you don't even know how it happened. i'm talking face down, ass up, as he's pushing your face into the mattress and pounding your shit so hard you don't think you'll survive. or if you're in missionary, he'll start basically destroying you. and he will love every second of it <3

changbin: overall more sweet and loving, but he fucks you really really deep so he can watch what it does to you. he gives me vibes that he truly knows how to take care of you and he is practical when giving it to you. think of it as being a gentle giant. he loves being big, yet treating you like you're the most precious thing he could ever imagine. like he's being gentle and watching to make sure you're enjoying yourself, but he's also going so deep that it takes your breath away. and he lovessss that shit. he likes feeling so big and seeing his princess get pampered in the dirtiest way. like you're so cute, but taking him like no one would ever expect. and the entire time, you're just so in awe of how he pays attention to you and gives you soft, tiny praises the entire way.

hyunjin: making love. he's definitely gonna give you some extremelyyyy hard thrusts, but it is just as mental for him as it is physical. genuinely when i picture sex with hyunjin, it is the most intense thing humanly possible. like he is holding your face the entire time, never daring to look away while he is hitting your shit so deep that you feel it in your stomach. and every time he gets a strong moan out of you, he just smiles as he watches your eyes roll back. he wabts nothing more than to basically try to fuck his love into you. and it frustrates him so badly that there are no words to express just how connected he wabts his soul to ve with yours, so he just keeps fucking deeper and deeper to try and get as close as he can. he's definitely really fucking sweaty, but he can't keep his hands off of you.

han: easily picks up on your vibes and gives you what you want in that moment. hannie seems so adaptable that he usually gives in to what you want... without you really having to explicitly say it. he has that libra energy so he just GETS it and he wants to please you. so if you wabt to go slow and just enjoy the sensation of connecting emotionally with him? he's giving you exactly that. but if you've been giving him absolutely nastyyyyy vibes all day and he knows you've been bratty bc you want attention, he'll pick up the ques that he needs to fuck you HARD. i think han can be a lot more dom in the bedroom than most people give him credit for. like if he's had a really long day, i see him taking it out on you by fucking out his frustrations. same thing for if yall get into a fight or something, i can so see you both ending it by getting turned on and him rocking your shit while bending you over. idk maybe its just me.

felix: (i feel like this is an unpopular opinion and i go back and forth ab it), but he's usually on the less emotional side. but like han, he understands you well and changes it up depending on what you need. he can get quite sensitive too and overwhelmed, which is when he wants to be slow and gentle. he'd probably love it if you were both on your sides facing each other while he stills inside of you and you move yourself up and down on him. like i think he'd go feral and watch you with the most love, adoration, and lust humanly possible.but at the same time, i feel like he can sometimes struggle to express himself physically, so he ends up just doing what he feels comfortable with. he needs to switch things up every so often, but i think he's usually more into pounding you and letting it all out.

seungmin: he's usually pretty practical and doesn't go too hard or get too emotional. but on days where he's frustrated... he's taking it out on you. like relentlessly. or he's telling you exactly what to do. i'm just imagining him coming home from some kind of bullshit day and he's ranting to you about it. maybe youre acting up a bit or agging him on and he literally snaps and starts telling you what to do. i don't think he's usually super vocal, but this time he's instructing you about every little thing. kind of yelling, but it's hot. and then he's having you sit back on the couch, legs spread, so he can basically just use you to get himself off oops.

jeongin: i.n. is again a good mix. innie loved to feel big and dominant. idk what it is, but he does. and he likes knowing that you depend on him. so in that sense, he's gonna start slow and make you needy for more. he wants to make sure you're hooked before he does anything more. and once he's given you your attention and is pleased with where he's gotten you, he's gonna fuck hard so that you never forget how strong he can be. like he just has that thing inside of him that lowkey feels like he needs to prove himself & he gets off on it so bad.

[miniaturecollectiveendermen]

hihi! hope you’re doing well :)

i was wondering if you could write headcannons for phoenix drop high Gene, Garroth & Blaze with a popular reader? like reader is well known in phoenix drop high, super energetic, kind and captain/leader of a big sports team/club? maybe just general headcannons (including how the two get together?)

tysm <33

A/N: i had a lot of fun writing this!! im sorry it took a while, i was sick when the request was sent and got sick again in the middle of writing im good now - for the most part at least

i hope you enjoy read this! :3

!! WARNINGS !! i feel like PDH!gene needs a warning of his own, gn!reader, you/your pronouns used

Gene: 

You were the volleyball club president, the cheery type who had a knack for making friends.

Gene is in no way fond of the popular types; so then why did you catch his attention? 

Why does his heartbeat pick up when he sees you smile, when he hears your laugh?

Gene is a selfish person, he takes what he wants - and in this case he wants you.

He considered trying to find something to blackmail you with, and get you to join the shadowknights.

But you always had people around you, and everyone knew what he was like, so there was no way they'd let him pull you away for a private conversation. 

But he found himself with the perfect opportunity one day after school. 

Your teammates had other obligations they needed to attend to; this left you to put away the equipment. 

He dismissed Sasha and Zenix (mainly Zenix as he had a tendency to speak without thinking). 

He approached you, and offered to help clean up. 

It was almost unnerving how nice he was being - you may have been a friendly person but you weren't stupid. you knew he was planning something.

You chose to be nice to him, but you kept your guard up. 

Time passes and you guys finish cleaning up, you say goodbye to Gene, and leave. 

Only after you leave does he realize he didn't even bring up you joining the shadow-knights. 

He just spent time with you, talking and hanging out like you were old friends. 

This is the first thing that made him question his plan.

PDH gene is by no means a good person - but even he has some morals. 

After this you would say hello to him in passing and make small talk - again acting like you two had been friends for years. 

You were just too sweet, and it chipped away at him. 

Eventually he completely forgot about forcing you to join the shadowknights. 

Although you weren't a shadowknight, you were friends. 

And not just with him, you were nice to Sasha and Zenix too. 

Sasha had gotten rather attached to you, and although Zenix would rather die than admit it - he quite liked having you around. 

Of course other people questioned why someone as sweet as you would be friends with them. Were you being forced?

you would always respond with “they're actually really nice” - Which no one believed of course.

But Gene quickly shut down all the questions, and no one really wanted to get on his bad side; so they stopped asking you about it.

Your relationship with Gene slowly changed, you two never acknowledged it.

but you both knew you weren't just “friends” anymore. 

Gene isn't the type to be explicitly romantic or loud with his affections - he's more subtle about it. 

He asked you out in a very casual way - you two were hanging out at his house. 

You were scrolling on your phone absentmindedly while he was playing a game, when he suddenly asked:

“Do you wanna go to the coffee shop this weekend?” “Sure!” “It's a date then.” 

No beating around the bush with this man. 

It's an interesting dynamic between you two - but he wouldn't have it any other way. 

Garroth: 

Garroth is a naturally charismatic and sociable person.

This, along with him being the baseball team captain, meant it was only natural for Garroth to be well acquainted with other sports captains. 

You were the track and field team captain. 

Much like Garroth you were charming and peppy, and had a tendency to naturally draw people to you. 

On the first day of the new school year, you were tending to the track and field club’s stand. 

Some other club leaders asked for your help; because of this a handful of nearby freshmen got the impression that you were helping with everything, and not just your own stand. 

You were happy to help, but you didn't anticipate being suddenly surrounded by a large group of over-excited freshmen who kept talking over each other.

You tried to help them all, but it was getting overwhelming.

As if he could hear your thoughts, Garroth redirected the freshmen to the mentors - he also offered to help out with the track and field stand. 

He wasn't very busy with the other members tending to the baseball stand.

You gladly accepted his help - although you and Garroth were friendly before this, you weren't very close.

After this day your friendship blossomed; the two of you would often spend free time together and even help each other with team captain responsibilities.

If either of you had a match, the other would be sure to come and cheer. 

With the two of you being as popular as you were, it was only inevitable for rumors to start about you two dating.

Garroth brushed it off and acted as though he wasn't affected by the silly rumors - but that wasn't really the case.

Truthfully he had been harboring feelings for you for some time, and these rumors gave him a chance to see how you'd react to the idea of you two dating. 

He did sometimes flirt with you, but played it off as a joke causing you to respond with joking flirtation of your own (was it really a joke tho). 

When you didn't seem opposed to the idea, his heart jumped out of his chest.

He took the first chance he got and asked you out. 

He's so cute guys I love him.

Blaze: 

You had been the tennis team captain for over a year - your popularity grew along with the tennis club as you led the team to win many matches.

had been receiving complaints by team members about a group of werewolves that kept stealing tennis balls in the middle of matches.

A few lost balls wouldn't be much of a problem, but they kept doing this until the players had none left.

You knew if you went to the werewolves responsible yourself the chances of them listening to you were little.

So you opted to go directly to the principal - so far she seemed a lot more competent than the previous principal, so you had hoped she'd be able to help you.

But these hopes were quickly diminished when she said she couldn't intervene as it was a “werewolf issue”.

You argued it was affecting the tennis club members who were human and meif'wa as well.

But she made some vague excuse about having a meeting and told you to talk to the werewolf studies teacher about it. 

After having any and all hope in the new principal destroyed, you went off to find the werewolf studies teacher.

When you explained the situation to him he informed you that this was the responsibility of the “alpha” and he couldn't do much.

By this point you were getting very frustrated - you had to run all over the school to find someone to help, only for them to tell you that they couldn't do anything. 

To your relief you were informed that the werewolf alpha was Aphmau (you decided to not ask why a human was the werewolf alpha). 

You weren't super close with Aphmau, but you met her once when you and Katelyn were playing tennis - you’d had some friendly interactions since and you had hoped that she wouldn't dismiss you like the last two people.

You managed to find her as she was talking to a red haired werewolf - you had seen him around a few times. His name was Blaze if you remembered correctly.

She was friendly as usual when you approached her, but you noticed she seemed more tired and even a bit frazzled.

You explained the situation to her and she was very understanding, but you could see that just thinking about handling this made her look even more tired.

That's when Blaze interrupted and said he was happy to help, as aphmau had to focus on choosing an alpha male - whatever that means.

You were ecstatic, after all that running around you finally found someone who could help.

Blaze was very sweet- and although he was a tad clueless when it came to certain things, he certainly had the spirit.

You helped Blaze find the responsible werewolves and at first he was explaining to them that they shouldn't steal things that don't belong to them. 

However after they were not very receptive to this, he took a more,, “hands on” approach.

You knew after going to this school for some time that werewolves would often solve conflict by fighting.

But you didn't expect blaze to throw the werewolves out the nearest window and then jump out after them??? 

You just wanted your team members to be able to practice in peace.. How did this happen-?

By the time that you reached downstairs where they were, the group of werewolves were standing in front of Blaze, looking down silently.

Blaze was grinning and looked very proud of himself - he seemed to be waiting for you to tell him he did a good job.

You didn't expect a 6’3 werewolf to be so.. Cute? 

You thanked him for his help and told him he was welcome to play with the tennis team whenever he pleased.

In the following weeks your friendship grew - he would join your practice in his free time. 

Although when he did it was mostly him chasing after the ball and forgetting he's supposed to hit it with the racket. 

As you grew closer, Blaze started noticing that his feelings towards you were changing. 

He always thought you were rather cute but he didnt think too deeply about it. 

But his desire to be around you grew.

subtlety isn't Blaze’s strong suit - the second he realizes he has a crush on someone, he starts following them around everywhere and his affection grows tenfold. 

He's a naturally affectionate person towards his loved ones, but you noticed that it's different with you. 

One day you decide to ask him about it and he just looks at you and just flat out confesses.

He was under the impression that he was being quite obvious. 

He's so <3333

I love him 

Immensely

[mandalhoerian]

I’m really impressed by your analysis of Raf’s new card! Everything you stated makes so much sense and gave me a fresh perspective on his insecurities.

However, I recently came across a discussion on Reddit where someone pointed out that Rafayel's actions could be seen as problematic. They argued there’s a lack of consent from MC, suggesting that MC wasn’t fully into it. They mentioned the use of the dagger as a symbol of the MC's discomfort or pain, which they attributed to her being tense or unrelaxed. They also highlighted how MC seemed to try distracting him, like asking him to answer the phone or pointing out the snow.

Personally, I don’t agree with their interpretation, but I’m struggling to articulate why. Do you have any thoughts or interpretations that might help address this perspective?

Okay, um. First and foremost, thank you for sharing your thoughts and for trusting me with this question, but god did I literally react like this.

But, before we get into the analysis of the deed itself, let’s start first by grounding this discussion in the context of the product that is Love and Deepspace.

This is a 12+ rated action-adventure sci-fi otome game, which sets a clear expectation for the tone and themes presented. While otome games can and often do explore nuanced and occasionally darker themes (and this doesn't mean they have subpar writing just because they're meant for a wider audience), they are typically balanced with the age-appropriate rating in mind. In a banner like this that is intentionally designed to revolve around romantic sex, it’s essential to recognize that the developers aren’t aiming to create content that veers into dead dove or non-consensual territory. To suggest that the writers or developers would include something as serious as this, especially under the guise of a romance storyline, is not only a misinterpretation but also an extreme departure from the genre’s conventions and the intended tone of the game.

The entire theme of the event is centered on exploring romantic tension, intimacy, and the growing bond between characters in a way that’s exciting but ultimately safe and consensual. The "spice" in these scenarios is shockingly suggestive when you have the censorship in mind, and designed to make us scream, not to introduce dark or inappropriate themes that would completely undermine the romantic fantasy. To imply otherwise is frankly absurd and feels like reading intent where there is none.

1) Otome games, particularly those rated 12+, are crafted to engage players in a romantic and emotionally fulfilling experience. They're fluffy, they're angsty, they can be dark and heavy, but even in more mature otome games, themes of non-consent (when they appear) are explicitly framed and addressed with appropriate tonal shifts. This isn’t a game where heavy, disturbing themes are shoehorned into a romantic storyline for shock value.

2) If the developers were truly presenting a situation where non-consensual sex or coercion was involved, it would be a complete betrayal of the genre, the event’s theme, and the player’s trust. The "spice" banner would instantly alienate the audience it’s designed for and spark backlash, not romantic engagement. The devs know their audience and their ratings, and this simply isn’t the place or context for something so serious.

Now that we're done WHY this sort of scenario CANNOT be the case for infold's writing, let's go into the symbolism and the language used to describe the act.

Rafayel enters the room abruptly and begins kissing MC without preamble. While this could initially seem forward, the scene takes care to show that:

MC actively breaks away to question him multiple times. This demonstrates that she is neither overpowered nor silenced, she has the agency to assert herself.

When she bites his lip, Rafayel respects this boundary and answers her questions, and more importantly, stops being non-verbal and communicates. It shows he is responsive to her cues, even when caught up in the moment.

The dynamic here leans into playful tension rather than coercion. MC’s actions (breaking away and biting) and Rafayel’s response (answering her and continuing to interact with her desires) showcase a mutual push-and-pull, common in romantic tension scenes.

As the scene progresses, it becomes clear that MC is not just passively involved but actively reciprocates:

Holds his hand on her own to make him accept the call while they're being sexual. That's freaky.

She flips him over and begins initiating physical affection, kissing him from his ear to his chest. This is a strong indication that she is not only comfortable but also eager to participate in their intimacy.

The "punish" action selected by the player highlights MC’s playful intent and interest in this interaction, especially in the context of teasing Rafayel while his friend’s call looms in the background. This playful edge basically screams mutual enjoyment rather than discomfort.

And now to the main course

the dagger

Listen. As much as we've normalized that this is dick in puss moment, infold can't. So, they've got to use euphemisms to describe Rafayel's dick and what he does with it. The metaphor of the "dagger" isn't meant to represent his dick and it hurting her.

Soft sharpness seeps into me bit by bit: This describes the initial entry, slow and deliberate, emphasizing Rafayel’s care in ensuring the act is comfortable and mutual. "Soft" reflects the intensity of the sensation without implying pain by juxtaposing with "sharpness". It also tells you that "soft sharpness" is his dick and it's describing how gentle he's being. How can sharpness be soft? When you're careful with it that it doesn't feel "sharp" anymore. It's meant to be a stand-in for his cock. It's not describing pain. It's his peanis. The dong. The verb "seeps" here says all you need to know, it's not painful.

Then it (the <<soft sharpness>>) digs into me like a dagger: This directly describes Rafayel increasing his movement (or thrusting), with the "dagger" symbolizing THE MOVEMENT. You know what you do with a dagger? Stab with it. The imagery of a dagger isn’t meant to evoke harm, it’s a stand-in for the deliberate and rhythmic motion of penetration.

So, in smut-language, Rafayel was putting it in slowly, then half-way, he thrusted it all the way in, quickly.

And so, let's interpret the act going forward.

"Yellow sand as far as the eye can see is covered by snow"

Remember that Rafayel indirectly called MC "the snow" by saying "it was soft and beautiful" when she pointed out it was snowing in the desert? This metaphor reflects the emotional and physical dynamic between Rafayel and MC. The “yellow sand” symbolizes Rafayel and his inner turmoil, dryness, and insecurities. The “snow” represents MC and his soothing presence and how her love transforms and comforts him. They are also on top of each other lmao, he is being “covered” by her presence, fully surrendering to her.

"We approach the sea beyond the dunes despite the bumpiness"

The "sea" symbolizes climax or release, both physically and emotionally. The “bumpiness” describes the physical intensity of their rhythm as they near this point together.

"Ripples travel along the undulating water's surface"

Yep. They're still going at it. This metaphor captures the sensations and physical effects of reaching climax. The ripples signify the aftereffects of release, the pleasure that radiates and envelops both of them. This is Rafayel and MC experiencing the peak of their intimacy, with the “undulating water” representing their synchronized pleasure and satisfaction.

"Swept into that endless blue"

Post-orgasm bliss. The overwhelming euphoria and serenity that comes with shared climax. It emphasizes the emotional connection they feel in this moment—boundless and all-encompassing.

"This isn't the abyss. Rather, it's a place filled with red flame lilies. This is Rafayel's color."

Now, this is MY interpretation, so take it with a grain of salt.

The "abyss" here symbolizes the emotional and creative void Rafayel has been experiencing--his lack of inspiration and his deep-rooted insecurities that leave him feeling hollow and disconnected. The abyss represents the blank canvas of his mind.

The transition from the abyss to the field of red flame lilies signifies a turning point for Rafayel. The flame lilies are not just a burst of inspiration, they are deeply tied to MC and the way she has reignited his passion BEYOND pain, both as an artist and as a person capable of love and connection.

By stating, “This is Rafayel’s color,” the narrative emphasizes that the flame lilies are uniquely his. They symbolize the return of his personal brand of creativity and vibrancy. It’s not about finding generic inspiration, it’s about rediscovering his own voice and perspective and MC doesn’t simply provide inspiration, she helps him unlock what was already inside him, and I believe, somehow witnesses the bursting of life inside him in her mind throughout the bond they share. MC serves as the guiding force that helps him reclaim his “color,” allowing him to see himself, and his art, in a new light.

Flame lilies are striking and bold, often symbolizing passion, love, and transformation. They’re an apt metaphor for Rafayel’s internal rebirth. Where the abyss was blank and desolate, the lilies are vibrant and overflowing with meaning, mirroring his renewed sense of self.

So, yeah.

And let’s be honest if you’re going to suggest non-consensual sex in a scene where MC flips him over, actively teases him, and metaphorically commands his every move through a glowing mark on his chest, then maybe it’s time to step away from the Reddit threads and reconnect with nature, maybe consider why you're intentionally picking on Rafayel like this.

He even asked, “Are you sure?” AND checked in with her later with "Are you comfortable?" -- all green flags here. If that’s not the gold standard of consent in an otome game, I don’t know what is.

I hope this was satisfactory, anon!!!!!

[antianakin]

@theneutralmime

Any time Anakin's "obsession" with Obi-Wan shows up in the story, it's very clearly a bad thing, because Anakin's "obsession" is a bad thing, full stop, regardless of who he's aiming it at. To use Star Wars parlance, this is the attachment, this is why the Jedi forbid it and why attachments are considered bad on their own and why they're not considered the same as "love" or "relationships." So Anakin being attached to Obi-Wan INSTEAD of Padme (which doesn't have to mean they're in a romantic relationship, obviously) doesn't make that attachment suddenly a good thing simply because it isn't romantic. It would still be dangerous and it would still likely push Anakin to do bad things in the name of the attachment.

That being said, Anakin shows the MOST restraint in his relationship with Obi-Wan, despite the clear attachment he does have to him. I'm willing to believe that Palpatine likely did ENCOURAGE an attachment to Obi-Wan while at the same time also planting the seeds for doubt in the relationship, balancing those things very carefully so that he could use Obi-Wan to pull Anakin into darkness. But the very VERY few times we see Anakin successfully manage to actually hold off from making rash and reckless choices is with his relationship to Obi-Wan.

I've mentioned most of these examples before, but I'll go over them quickly again.

Chronologically, we start with Attack of the Clones where Anakin is initially inclined NOT to go to Geonosis to save Obi-Wan until Padme convinces him into it (while you could argue that this shows a lack of CARE for Obi-Wan, this isn't really supported by the dialogue and it's contrasted pretty explicitly with Anakin planning to abandon Padme earlier in order to chase after his mother).

The next one we see is in Landing at Point Rain during TCW when Obi-Wan's ship crashes and it's unclear what Obi-Wan's status is and Anakin has to make the choice to stay with his men and leave Obi-Wan to his chances rather than run ahead and abandon his men just for the CHANCE to help Obi-Wan (especially when Obi-Wan could easily be already dead, or could die/receive help from someone else before Anakin can get there, while his men will almost certainly die without him before they can reach the landing zone and that would be pretty disastrous for the mission).

The third one is, ironically enough, in the Deception arc. When Anakin and Ahsoka are first sent after "Rako Hardeen" to arrest him and they find him drunk, Anakin explicitly tells "Hardeen" that he'd kill him if it wouldn't disrespect Obi-Wan's memory to do so. You can make the argument that he's able to hold back in part because Ahsoka's standing there watching him, so he couldn't really get away with killing a drunk man who won't fight back, but he doesn't seem to be paying much attention to her and his claim out loud is that he's doing it because it's what Obi-Wan would want him to do. He does start to struggle more and more as the arc goes on and loses some of that fight with his anger, but this initial moment does show us that Anakin CAN hold back when he wants to and that Obi-Wan's influence on him is, generally, a positive one.

The reason I point these out is because we don't often see this kind of restraint with any of his other relationships. Shmi, Padme, and Ahsoka in particular have a tendency to bring out the WORST in him (note that Obi-Wan's influence will stop being as strong when it's pitted against, say, Padme or Ahsoka's lives at stake).

So I DO think that Palpatine likely was originally intending for Obi-Wan to BE the primary "obsession" for Anakin until the opportunity to throw Padme back into his life came into play. We see elements of it in the way Anakin talks about Obi-Wan through AOTC, telling Padme that Obi-Wan is as wise as Yoda and as powerful as Mace, and telling Obi-Wan himself that he's the closest thing he's ever had to a father. But even with that, Obi-Wan's influence is very GROUNDING for Anakin, it reminds Anakin of who he should be and who he CAN be in a way no other relationship he has ever truly does. Obi-Wan's influence in Anakin's life actually INSPIRES Anakin to be better because Obi-Wan has managed to connect with Anakin in a way that goes deeper than some of his other relationships (I think that his relationships with Padme and Ahsoka are both INCREDIBLY skin deep and that Anakin mostly sees them as extensions of himself or primarily for what they can do for him rather than caring about them for who they are).

Which means that, while Anakin's attachment to Obi-Wan is always going to be a bad thing that could feasibly push Anakin to do terrible things, there's arguably evidence in canon to support the idea that if Palpatine had CONTINUED with this particular plan, that it wouldn't have worked quite as well as it did with Padme. I think that Anakin's attachment to Obi-Wan, such as it is, has to come up against Anakin's desire for Obi-Wan's APPROVAL which is only gained when Anakin acts MORE LIKE A JEDI. He WANTS to live up to Obi-Wan's faith in him, he wants to Obi-Wan to be proud of him and feel like the time and effort he spent training him was worth it. It's also worth noting that their dynamic as Master and Padawan makes the whole overprotective thing less likely to come up than it would with people like Padme and Ahsoka. Obi-Wan was MORE powerful than Anakin for a while, MORE capable of protecting himself than Anakin was, and was actually ANAKIN'S protector. So while he does CARE whether Obi-Wan lives or dies, he's also much more inclined to believe Obi-Wan can generally take care of himself, too.

So I can honestly see it sort-of going either way. Obi-Wan's relationship with Anakin is one of the few (if not the ONLY) real grounding influences in Anakin's life and could have possibly broken through the attachment enough to keep Anakin from going full tilt Sith, but it's equally as likely that Palpatine would've found a way around that anyway. Obviously, Palpatine could've just... killed Obi-Wan to get that influence out of the way and pushed Anakin over the edge out of a desire for vengeance as opposed to a desire to keep Obi-Wan from dying in the first place. The attachment is still dangerous, and as long as Palpatine's alive, he'll find a way to use it to get Anakin where he wants him, but if Obi-Wan is ALSO alive, he has the ability to balance out Palpatine's influence to some degree.

[andreal831]

Do you see Klaus as an unreliable narrator in TO?

1000% yes.

He's a textbook narcissist so we have to remember everything he says comes from a place of being unable to look outside himself or to empathize with others. Which makes the entire narration of TO unreliable.

One example I can think of is when Elijah and Klaus are talking about Tatia (Elijah is also an unreliable narrator because he centers everything on Klaus. In my opinion due to guilt). We hear, and in TO see, how much Elijah cares for Tatia. But not really Klaus. We hear him and Elijah say Klaus loved Tatia, however, in the scenes in TO, Klaus essentially assaults Tatia by kissing her without even being concerned if she wants him to. Even when she pulls away from him, he just moves on. This isn't the actions of someone who is in love. And then when we see Tatia and Elijah interact, there is clearly some history. They have an ongoing flirtation. Yet, when Elijah and Klaus tell the story, it essentially focuses on their brotherly bond and less on Tatia. We don't hear how devastated Elijah was from her death, but how loving Tatia nearly broke their bond apart. Even when Elijah learns he was responsible for Tatia's death, instead of allowing him to feel that pain and grieve, he has to apologize to Klaus (and also deal with Klaus murdering his own father). Klaus doesn't react the way he did when he learned of what Elijah did to Aurora because he truly didn't care about Tatia. But he continues to push the narrative to center Elijah's past love interest around himself.

We see him do the same with Stefan in TVD, to the point where a large majority of the fandom believes Stefan and Klaus were romantically invovled despite being explicitly told that Rebekah and Stefan were invovled at the time. I'm not saying yes or no to either, but pointing out how the narrative impacts the viewers.

We also see this with how little emphasis the show puts on anyone that is not directly related to Klaus. Klaus is not the sole narrator of the show, but we can safely say it revolves around him. So characters like Aya, Celeste, Gia, Emil, etc. Their flashbacks are quick and just serve to explain how they know the Mikaelsons. Whereas, Klaus' love interest in the past, Aurora, gets exposition and depth through flashbacks.

The narration is told in a way that continues to victimize Klaus and brush aside his crimes. For example, when he lets Cami into his head to "scare her" and show her what a beast he is. He could show her endless slaughters, and that's just in the past year. He could show himself sacrificing a teenage girl or killing Jenna, stabbing his siblings, killing his mother, etc. But instead he shows himself turning for the first time and his family chaining him up to suppress his werewolf side. He doesn't even show the plethora of village people he just murdered which even scared Elijah. He only shows her what will create sympathy for him. We see this throughout their "talks." Even Cami calls him out on it multiple times for phrasing the story in a way that undermines how his siblings were feeling.

Contrast this to how Elijah's story is told. We already talked about Tatia and a lot of his exes. They are either explained very quickly and then moved on without allowing him/the audience time to grieve, or he they are handled through Klaus' POV so that their death's are justified/excused. But more than that, simply how his backstory is told, or Kol for that matter, is done in a less sympathetic light than Klaus.

We don't really see Elijah feed from people or murder without cause. That is up until the show decided to introduce the Red Door. This entire storyline is used to retcon Elijah as "the worse brother." But lets be honest, they've all killed so many people, why is Elijah killing seen as worse? Because they make it scary and bloody and it scares even the main characters. Whereas Klaus' trial is made to be humorous. The audience is supposed to laugh at Klaus forcing a girl to watch her mother burn alive because she was coughing too much. Even Klaus killing main characters like Carol are made to be humorous. They make Kol seem like this unhinged killer, but Klaus is the one who goes off and kills with him. When Kol does it, it's out of control. When Klaus does it, it's funny so their lives don't matter.

We see this with how the show treats Rebekah and her suitors. Rebekah is seen as naive because she keeps falling for the wrong people who take advantage of her. But Klaus is seen as compelling when he allows Caroline to manipulate him, to the point that it gets his brother killed. Or Aurora manipulate him to the point that it gets Rebekah kidnaped. Or Genevieve manipulate him to the point it gets Hayley killed and almost Hope. But when Klaus is manipulated, it's because he cares too much and the women took advantage of him. When it happens to Rebekah, it's because she's stupid and needs Klaus to make her decisions.

We see it in how Cami's transition is told. Cami is struggling throughout Season 3 but all Klaus sees is himself. To the point that when Cami snaps at him for pushing too far, the next scene is him killing a random art critic, essentially implying that it was her fault. She shouldn't have prioritized her own emotions and snapped at a grown man because he can't be responsible for his own actions.

TO thrives on Klaus being an unreliable narrator because it allows his misdeeds to be pushed to the back of the audience's mind and his victimization brought to the front. Even how he speaks about himself is unreliable. Initially, he blames Mikael for making him a monster. But then he learns his mother made him weak and blames her. But then he later blames Elijah for what he did to Aurora a year later. And throughout the show he blames all of his siblings for "abandoning" him when we never see a moment of them attempting to abandon him. Yes, I'm sure all of these things contributed, but the main point is that at no point does he blame himself. He never once takes accountability for his actions and no one ever makes him. Elijah and Rebekah attempt to several times, and lord knows Cami tried, but they are seen as unsympathetic in those moments through Klaus' eyes.

Thanks for the ask! I answered this one so quickly because I don't think I've talked about this individually and it is so fascinating to me. Let me know if you agree or disagree <3

[tubbytarchia]

Just a bunch of Doc and Jimmy thoughts as to why I find them so appealing and endearing. I wanna draw them more but regardless I have too many thoughts on them to ever visualize them all. It's a lot and very self-indulgent. This is your warning

TLDR Jimmy in a father/son type of dynamic (as opposed to a romantic relationship) would do him good and Doc would be very perceptive and gentle and awesome about it

These are pretty much all reliant on a hypothetical scenario in which Jimmy is on Hermitcraft (after Secret Life?), temporarily or permanently or accidentally etc. I'm also gonna refer to Jimmy's relationships with Tango, Scott etc as romantic just for clarity

- Firstly I don't mind them as a ship, its all cool with me (cause I know at least a few of you ship them haha), but to me their absolute main appeal is the fatherly aspect. It being a father/son dynamic eliminates so many of Jimmy's struggles off the bat - ones that are prevalent in his romantic connections, mainly the inherent anxiety and inability to open up to his partners as a result (at least fully)

- Because of said anxiety, none of Jimmy's partners up to this hypothetical unexplained point of time would fully "get" him. Even if Jimmy trusts them, he's been conditioned to see himself as the faulty link by default and the people around him, however good they are and however much they COULD help, aren't the type to pick up on or be able to understand exactly what he needs (Tango's rather oblivious, Martyn's hot-headed etc), and Jimmy isn't exactly going to tell them in the headspace that he's in, he doesn't know how to. Yet Doc has had one, ONE notable interaction with him, and in that one interaction, even as Jimmy's just jokingly calling for Etho, Doc immediately and immaculately picks up on what Jimmy needs: "I want to take you into my hands and take you to a safe place"

- There's a quote(?) exchange that goes "You're free, (referring to a bird whose gate has just been opened), why don't you fly away?" followed by the bird "the cage is all I know". Sorry to use some "I'm 14 and this is deep" quote but that's just Jimmy. He needs time and gentleness, and a safe place that'd allow for that. A safe place to heal until he's ready to step out into the world of his own accord. He's helped out of the cage with patience and understanding, not by pushing him. Where Doc understands to be patient, some of Jimmy's partners post-3L would push - of course just trying to help but failing to grasp Jimmy's needs fully - or fail to realize there's (still) a cage there at all. Sorry what are we talking about again

- Add-on to the above points: Doc being able to pick up on Jimmy's wants and needs without verbalization. He'd be able to offer Jimmy desired comfort, and, comparing to Tango for example, without their time necessarily being cut short and without the failure to recognise that it's something Jimmy continues to need. (I've said it before but Tango's oblivious, and that's partially why he and Jimmy work well together, but it also means that he doesn't pick up on everything, especially when not near and soulbound to Jimmy, and by virtue of being a romantic partner, Jimmy's too anxious to ask for help too, because of previous relationship experiences). Doc would pick up on it all though, eliminating Jimmy's need to explicitly ask for help, because that's the one thing he's not able to communicate however desperately he's needed to to kickstart any kind of healing

- We all know how Doc gets when he's being a dad so. This father/son dynamic only means more softness and gentleness from Doc you know... Again, something Jimmy is in desperate need for!! And what he's gotten from people like Tango as well, but once again, this isn't a romantic relationship so Jimmy's feelings about physical affection are a bit different. Doc would have the utmost mindfulness of approaching Jimmy in any physical touch scenario though and never push or pressure. He always watches out for signs of discomfort, and will hardly touch him if he thinks that there's a chance it could upset Jimmy further. He understands that Jimmy needs time and patience and he doesn't want for him to draw more into himself, thus reversing any progress they might've made, especially if in Jimmy's current mindset, an even remotely unwanted approach could make him feel unsafe. If there are defenses that he's learned to and needs to keep up, then Doc won't take that away from him and give him space as needed

- When Doc IS to offer physical touch and such, he'd still have the utmost gentleness and pay attention to where he's situated near Jimmy just so he can ensure that he's using his organic arm to pat him or to have the organic half of his face towards him, not only to minimize intimidation but to also put them on more equal footing - If Doc can just look over and read Jimmy's eyes at any moment, he wants Jimmy to be able to see his too to help him feel more comfortable (and thus encourage opening up)

- Back to the "safe place" thing specifically, Doc would totally take Jimmy under his wing and thus also into his base - his huge and scary full-of-machines barely-resembling-a-house-to-any-degree base. Jimmy would be naturally intimidated by Doc and his base in kind, but just as he grows more used to big scary goat man, he grows more used to big scary goat man base. He'd be intimidated but not past the point of intrigue, and combined with his need to prove himself, Jimmy would very much try to study Doc's machines and learn the layout of his base etc. I'm tickled by the idea of no one understanding Doc's base as per usual, except this one lost guy he took under his wing

If Jimmy were to mess anything up (he inevitably would I'm sure) Doc would be all grumbly about it in the moment but never hold a grudge towards him. And Jimmy would either flee but quickly return and/or be very insistent on making it up to Doc, which Doc would refuse because there's no need

- Again, with Jimmy's need to prove himself but also out of genuine interest, Jimmy would very much try redstone whilst at Doc's. He'd ask Doc to be honest and not to praise his work just to be polite, but Doc would believe in him and find his efforts genuinely endearing and worthy of praise for the work that he'd have put into it. Not once would he have complimented Jimmy's work without meaning it. I don't think he'd be able to live with himself if he stooped to disingenuousness like that (though Jimmy wouldn't know that)

- Doc would be protective and rightfully so. If he were to see Jimmy bullying becoming too prevalent, he'd very much step in to say that that's enough of that. He might tease Jimmy a little himself, very lightheartedly, but otherwise not find much comedy in it. And we all know how he holds grudges if he's to single anyone out for going over the line... Jimmy would be opposed to Doc calling anyone out or anything of the like and Doc very much wants to respect Jimmy's wishes but... There's no way he isn't going to speak his mind at least out of Jimmy's earshot

- Doc has always understood that Jimmy's in need of help, but of course he can only entail so much without hearing it from the man himself. And when Jimmy does inevitably open up, Doc would be totally taken aback by the amount of things weighing on Jimmy's heart, and just out of disbelief he'd go "and you haven't told anyone??", which may make Jimmy curl in on himself a bit, but Doc would be quick to reassure that he's not questioning Jimmy's actions nor blaming him for bottling his feelings up, merely expressing sadness that Jimmy hasn't felt like he could tell anyone up until now. Doc would remember everything he's told with precision and keep it all in mind constantly. Very self indulgent but for example, Jimmy having felt the need to dress up as a maid as payback just to stay on SOS would make Doc pay even more attention to any potential signs of discomfort in Jimmy presenting himself to others or feeling pressured to do something etc

- Before reaching the point of being able to open up, Jimmy would inevitably tear up at some point when he gets stuck thinking about just how kindly he's being treated for whatever reason that remains a mystery to him. Even if he tried to hide it, Doc would immediately notice the unusual body language, or something like his headwing moving to cover his face. And he would become very panicked lol, quickly reassuring Jimmy about whatever he thinks caused the reaction, like his redstone attempts for example, only for Jimmy to be unable to express why he's really crying, but at the very least Doc would understand that there's more to it and will just do his best to comfort him regardless

- Jimmy has and will absolutely call people his dad as a joke, but when he inevitably refers to Doc as such by accident, he'd become embarrassed about it. It'd be awesome and cute I think

- Ok so Hermitcraft, of course Tango's there!! And with no death game looming over his or Jimmy's heads. Still, that doesn't erase Jimmy's anxiety even when he opens up to Doc about it. Doc would offer suggestions for how Jimmy could approach Tango (And maybe Pearl too), but if Jimmy expresses his inability to do so because of anxiety and such, then Doc will let it go and just comfort or reassure him for the time being instead. He'd ask if he should talk to Tango all menacing and Jimmy would be vehemently opposed to the idea lol. Doc would probably still take it up with Tango at some point and Jimmy wouldn't find out until much later into him and Tango talking again, at which point he'd become embarrassed that Tango had to deal with that (but of course there would have never been any malice involved and Tango can easily laugh about it). Added drama if we go with the idea that Jimmy's time on HC is limited which would only stress him out more about talking to Tango

- Doc would pay so much attention to Jimmy's wings' welfare. He'd ask Grian and do all kinds of research on his own too to make sure they're properly cared for whilst fully understanding their personal importance and potential intimacy that caring for them entails, giving Jimmy whatever space he needs whilst still keeping an eye on his wings. In a different hypothetical scenario where Doc is in the Life series and not much else is changed, he'd take note of Jimmy's wings being clipped (3L, LL), then growing (DL, LimL), and then becoming ragged (SL, with Jimmy's increasing hostility, restlessness etc)

- You are insane for reading till this point. Take my hand, we can be insane together

[nagarashi]

Well... I didn't think it would ever happen, but Rouge Trader somehow managed it.

(Some thoughts on Heinrix's romance... Lots of words.)

Going through the game I was highly impressed by the emotions I experienced. Especially the romances in the game. I never thought that I would like a character like Heinrix so much that I would go out of my way to be a Heretic for him. The unexpected and strong sympathy for him in general was a real surprise for me, as I like assholes like Marazhai (even though he turned out to be a romantic at the end).

But master interrogator, God, I was so impressed by him. He's a real knight, literally and figuratively. He says he wants to protect you, and he can do it, but the funny thing is that he makes you want to protect him so badly.

His romance is very tart and tender. And maybe it's just me, but there's something so elusively grim about it.....

Heinrix is a master of torture and it's very symbolic that in his romance with him, this very tenderness acts as a kind of torture weapon in Heinrix's hands for both of you, whether he realises it or not.

He doesn't reciprocate you sufficiently for a long time and at the same time doesn't give you a categorical refusal, constantly forcing von Valancius to smash against the wall of his commitment to duty, but then to start looking for a breach in it again. One can imagine how emotionally draining that can be. Intentionally or not, he gives you hope and at the same time takes it away time after time.

But I'm also quite willing to concede that Calcazar's interference is probably to blame. I'm sure that on his first visit to Footfall, Heinrix reported that RT was taking a strange interest in him. If I were the Lord Inquisitor, I would certainly take advantage of that to keep my agent as close to RT as possible, from where more can be heard and seen.... In bed. Ideally.

And Calcazar definitely knew about their "relationship" already at the time of Act 2, which is evident in his ambiguous words "don't forget you have an Inquisition agent in your bed", wanting to demonize Heinrix in the eyes of von Valancius, so that she stops trusting Heinrix, suspecting that all his feelings are nothing but lies, as well as stories about his sad past. Probably Calcazar began to realize that he was slipping out of his grip and decided to give up this pawn and undermine her trust at the same time.

The game unfortunately never explicitly stated this (I was hoping it would be, to be honest), but I think this sort of thing happened. The game is open to interpretation here....

In any case, the Lord Inquisitor's words become one more drop in Heinrix's already shaken psyche, which becomes especially noticeable further on...

Speaking of his mental state.

There's no mental health to speak of... It's hard to stay without "scars" when you've literally become the black sheep of the family. And the people you loved become strangers, cutting you out of their lives as if you never existed.... and now they'd be glad you didn't. You're no longer a person, but a stain on their family name that they want to wipe away. They mutilate you by stripping you of your implants, literally tearing out pieces of you, as if you were not a living being, but an unnecessary thing with useful screws. Seems to me, though, that Heinrix wasn't particularly loved as it was, considering he was nearly executed for simple childish stupidity.

After such shocks at a young age, it is hard to keep any faith in yourself (or anyone else). Obviously, this created an incredible vacuum inside, which Heinrix could not fill in any way and with anything. And even though he had grown up and lived for many years, there was still that unloved boy inside of him who longed for love (which again is seen further on). The problem with something like this is that over the years such problems get worse and can often take on a rather unhealthy form without proper treatment. To top it all off, this creates a terrible contradiction inside, in which Heinrix subconsciously desires to be loved, but this desire is constantly suppressed by a multitude of factors... His work, his firm belief that he's a mistake and doesn't deserve love, that he's dangerous because he's a psyker. Speaking of work... Given his craft, it's also safe to assume that part of his humanity was sacrificed long ago, in a sense it "turned him off".

Heinrix constantly lives in control of everything around him and himself first and foremost. It also drains a man psychologically and physically over time.

And now imagine that in the life of such a person suddenly appears someone who looked at him not as a terrible agent of the Golden Throne and not even as a psyker, but as a living person with feelings, with whom you can not just satisfy your needs, but feel something more.... A person who is attracted to you not because she finds you beautiful, but because it's you. She wants to spend time with you, talk to you, literally always happy to see you, want to touch and hold your hand, say kind words, listen to you, wants to... care for you, love you.

Heinrix, as a man who has been deprived of such things for years for his own reasons and the reasons of those around him (well, who in their right mind would want a serious relationship with an inquisitor?) this sudden attitude must be like.... a sudden downpour in a desert where it never rained!

One could only guess how it disarrayed and further brought discord inward as he saw that RT had no thought of stopping, and he had to fight himself, fight for his control, which was slowly beginning to surrender...

This was something completely new, something he wasn't ready for, but had always wanted...

The fatal step is Commorragh, the place where everything starts to go wrong.

Nothing like death to motivate. Heinrix will try to keep the line between himself and Von Valancius, but if she's a little harder, then...the interrogator will surprisingly easily throw off the muzzle and personally erase the last line that separated you from each other.

After that everything changes, Heinrix is no longer willing to hold back his desire for RT, because he has now tasted it like a wolf tasting its first blood. Whereas before he would have done anything to end it, even if RT hated him, now, you can hear how weak his voice is when he expresses doubt that RT would want to continue the relationship.... and the hot relief in his voice when she agrees to continue. You can now easily hear the change in his tone when addressing his beloved. It's obvious, of course. But how his rhetoric has also changed. There's a special adoration for her in his voice and words. It's such a contrast to the Heinrix we knew before the Commorragh. It's like he's been replaced... He says that he often thinks of her, how he is ready to neglect business in order to be with her for a while longer, revels in the thought of her touch and her beauty....

And then there's that date where he suddenly starts saying again that they can't have a future together. He says this to the woman he's asked to continue their relationship this time. What is this? Suddenly sobering up, or...  just a boy who wants to feel his beloved beating for his heart again, wanting to give him her love? Wanted to hear the words of how she wanted to be with him against all, again, one more time so that he could reward her with his closeness? Hmm...

Yes, I'm suggesting that he may well have used manipulation. Whether consciously or not, it's harder to know.

Now, with that assumption, let's remember the Freeze scene.

This scene also shows the full extent of Calcazar's influence, which may have caused RT to doubt the genuineness of Heinrix's feelings. Combined with everything that has already happened in the story, Heinrix simply has a breakdown, he finally loses what remnants of control he still had, his life literally falling apart in his hands because of everything he has learnt.... and now von Valancius, what if now she's doubting him? What is there to go back to now? How can he show how much he cares for her, how much he needs her.....

Heinrix literally comes to RT to kill himself in front of her. She needs to see how much he needs her help. He wants to be saved by her hands.... Unconscious manipulation? Maybe. A scream for help? More than that. An attempt to prove that all his feelings are true and she has nothing to worry about? Definitely. But if there's nothing to worry about, why does his "forever" sound so creepy? ..... ?

Yeah, after RT gets involved, Heinrix does something crazy.... He declares he's quitting the Inquisition, he's not afraid of the consequences... any of the possible consequences. He has literally become blind to everything except his desire to be with RT. He even ignores her concerns.

Heinrix, at this point, is more than ever like a man who has never tasted alcohol in his life and then once tasted it became a hopeless alcoholic. He's intoxicated with a feeling he's never known before, the vacuum that was inside him turned into a bottomless void that devoured more and wanted more, craving that euphoric feeling of being wanted and loved.

And when he says they're gonna be together forever. it sounds like a real unhealthy obsession, because the Heinrix we knew never said anything like that. Or maybe he's just always been like this and finally got to show the real him? He accepts his "new" self - a heretic and an oath-breaker - extremely calmly. Even with some irony in his voice, as if he always knew it would happen and just waited... It's impossible to just forget about whole decades of his past life so indifferently.

And he never once asks if RT even wants that forever? He always puts her in front of a fact that she only has to accept... whether it's him leaving the Inquisition or wanting to always be by her side, whether she wants it or not.

.... or not.

Yes, RT could break up with Heinrix and then we might hear from Idira that something is wrong with Heinrix, the voices tell her that something frighteningly monstrous is going on in his head that has never happened to him before. So you wonder what's going on in his head..... Maybe he's thinking about trying to kill himself again or... bring her back by force? By brute force or using his position in the Inquisition? There's no way to guess...

Not to mention the responsibility he puts on RT, because he gave up his past life for her and she wouldn't let him kill himself. We're responsible for those we tame, aren't we?

It's like he's thrown more shackles on her....

Even in the epilogue in which he becomes the Master of Whispers, the fact that he is always there for RT is emphasised. Not about what happened with them then, after the end of the story, not about whether he became part of the dynasty by becoming RT's companion or anything else, but again the emphasis on his desire to be with her, reminding of his "forever".

You know, there's a song one "Mir allein" by Subway to Sally, Heinrix has a good chance of being a character in that song.

It's funny, but if you think about it that way, Marazhai seems even healthier to me than Heinrix XD

I'm sure it's all just my speculations and everything is much simpler) But if it's not, then.... I will only love Heinrix more as a character, because hiding something dark under the wrapper of a knightly romance, that's what I love.

... ... and I still love him :D

[i-heart-hxh]

is Killua truly jealous of Palm?

Yes, I absolutely think he is!

It's never explicitly stated, but the subtext is so in your face in a few different ways that it's essentially not even subtext any more.

Togashi could have chosen so many different ways to portray the way Killua feels about the Gon/Palm date subplot, but making it clear over and over again how bothered Killua is by the whole situation absolutely reads as jealousy, especially within the larger context of the arc. Look at these especially!

Togashi puts so much emphasis on Killua's expressions and distress throughout the whole subplot. Of course it's partly intended to be comedic, but this situation with Gon and Palm does have serious emotional weight for Killua as well--pulling out the needle, his breakdown in front of Palm, what she ends up saying to him after that, etc. I do think the exaggerated and extreme ways Togashi expresses Killua's feelings are intended to make the audience go, "Oh, he's really jealous, isn't he?"

People can argue Killua's reactions are just because of who Gon is on a date with (someone unhinged/violent and much older than him), or that it's just "concern" about Gon because of his nen situation, and those are both definitely aspects of what's going on here--but to reduce it down to only that ignores those deeper emotional impacts it has on Killua. I think the protectiveness aspect is something Killua uses to veil some of the other things he's feeling about it even though of course he is legitimately protective of Gon in this situation (and he has good reasons to be so). I also think Togashi himself uses the ambiguity to his advantage here, because if he put in romantic jealousy that was any clearer, would Jump allow it?

The way Killua goes immediately from the topic of going on dates/being freaked out about the prospect of Gon having been on dates before to feeling heartbroken because he wants to be with Gon forever the next panel is telling, in my opinion... (The English translation is a little vague, seems like it was intentionally toned down. In the original Japanese version he says he wanted to be with Gon forever.)

Here's a post where @tjlnn22 and I discuss this weightlifting scene in more detail.

I firmly believe that a big part of Palm's role as a character is to get the audience to question the nature of Killua's feelings for Gon. Without considering this context, the way her character is set up from the beginning and what role she's intended to play in Chimera Ant Arc is confusing. But when if you look at her character as having been built for that role, suddenly her entire character and subplot makes sense. Here's an older post where OP talks about some of the framing of Palm's character, and then I talk in more depth about why Palm is written the way she is.

It especially makes sense when you consider that the date with Palm is one of the factors that destabilizes Killua's faith in his relationship with Gon, leading to him wondering if they're acting together as friends or just as teammates. Here's an awesome post @tjlnn22 put together and submitted to me on this topic, with specific details supporting this argument. I think this is an important part of the arc that gets overlooked, and I love how clearly it's laid out in the linked post.

Killua also acts dismissive of Gon worrying about Palm to the point where other characters comment on his behavior, which to me seems like another sign of jealousy and bitterness on Killua's part. Then when he encounters Palm again after her transformation, this is how he behaves towards her:

Hands on his hips, full sass mode here. Again with the jealousy...

...And then shortly after this he proceeds to have a total emotional breakdown when he admits to himself that he thinks maybe Gon cares more about Palm than him, and that Palm might be the only one who can help Gon, rather than Killua. Of course there are more factors than this behind his breakdown, including him getting pushed away by Gon prior, but this is DIRECTLY the thought that leads him to start crying and then sobbing on the ground.

The Palm subplot is one of the biggest things in the series that makes me confident that the romantic subtext around Killua's feelings is completely and utterly intentional. The way the whole subplot is constructed, the decisions Togashi makes around Palm and how she's presented as a character, the way Killua's reactions and emotions are emphasized with regards to it, and the significance of this subplot in the greater arc of Killua's character all show a great deal of thought and care, and it's hard to come to any other conclusion when looking at it carefully.

Thank you for asking!

[matan4il]

Buddie 614 meta

What I find to be the loudest about Eddie’s arc here is that the whole ep is meant to show us everything that can go wrong when people try to live up to others’ expectations, and how much better it is when people are looking in and figuring out what’s right for them, which means they’re performing for and as themselves. That’s the context for Eddie’s date and story. He needs to figure out how to want a romantic relationship again without feeling like it’s a task he’s performing just to please others. That’s the place he gets to at the end of the ep, which is a good place for him to be. ~~

And this is essential to Eddie. Based on how little people talk about it, maybe many in fandom aren’t aware of how 911 implied back in 217 that he only married Shannon because she got pregnant. Eddie said explicitly he didn’t think he was ready to get married at the time, and he brought this up in the context of Shannon and him having Christopher. So I think it’s very meaningful that here, when his aunt wants to set him up, he jumps straight to the (wrong) conclusion that he’s expected to marry Vanessa. He was under this pressure to perform for others before, he knows how disastrous it can turn out, and you know what? Trauma totally triggers this kind of reaction. It tells us where he’s at emotionally, that there are still things he has to deal with. ~~

Speaking of trauma, another symptom of it can be denial, and we do see a bit of it from Eddie during this ep. Remember how he claimed he doesn’t panic back in 501? Right to a doctor’s face while she’s diagnosing him with panic attacks? He did it again in this ep. The thing is that healing isn’t linear. He was advancing with some things, but in 614, faced with his aunt’s ambush, he feels cornered back into a place he’s been in before, a place that left its scars on him, and Eddie regresses. Which is okay! But that’s one step back in order to take two steps forward. Before the ep ends, he will figure out that it’s better not closing himself off completely to the idea of getting into another relationship, even if Tia Pepa’s surprise blind dates are not the way to go about it. ~~

As a side note, I loved Bobby basically trying to trick his subordinates into giving him a review, and poor Buck stepping right into that one. I saw it coming and I almost choked laughing. This show is damn brilliant with comedy, too. We don’t give it enough credit for that! But it's also a moment when I was really proud of Buck. If Eddie's panic caused him to take a step back, we got to see his husband, who grew up so unloved that he needs every bit of approval he can get, being mature and able to point it out when Bobby was over-praising him in his evaluation. And you know what's more? Bobby knew it would go like this. He has seen Buck's growth and he knew his surrogate son would do the right thing and correct this. Bobby's set up wouldn't have worked otherwise. Excuse me while I get emotional over this. ~~

Fitting for an ep where 911 flexed its comical muscles, it was embarrassing how hard I laughed at Buck’s reaction to Eddie’s romantic woes. Remember when Buck heavily implied how hurtful it was to be ghosted by Abby, saying in 502 that he had been in Ana’s position, of being unwanted and led on instead of getting a clean break up? Well, look at how quick Buck was to suggest ghosting as a viable option for Eddie this time! It’s almost like Buck doesn’t even notice that he will offer whatever it takes to keep his husband away from these potential Love Interests, even if it contradicts stuff he has said in the past himself. The way Buck could be so calm making this suggestion, and take the “threat” in stride, because duh, he knows his husband wouldn’t want these LIs intruding on their marriage and family either, and it’s absolutely legit to just ghost this girl if she doesn’t get the memo, was hilarious. And honestly, who can blame Buck? He’s defending his hot man. ;p ~~

Which brings me to my weekly gif set, that I dedicated this time to Buck pointing out on Eddie’s failure to let Ana down easy. I mean, it already IS canon that these two talk about everything, it IS canon that Buck is someone who gets to hear all about Eddie’s romantic woes. But this proves that Eddie doesn’t just fill him in using broad strokes, stuff like just letting Buck know that he indeed broke up with Ana. No, they get down to the finer resolution as well, and Buck gets to hear every detail about how Eddie did it with the delicacy of a bull in a china shop. And clearly, Buck wasn’t about respecting either Ana or Eddie’s pain during that break up, at least not enough to stop Buck from teasing his husband about it. XD It’s so funny how naturally Buck’s staking his claim on his husband even while they’re discussing going on dates. I see you, Buck, and am totally with you! ~~

One last “made me laugh” point. I’m tempted to snicker about Pepa telling Eddie he should be shopping for antiques. I’m queer, so please excuse my dumb queer humor, but ummm. That’s not a very straight suggestion for your nephew, Tia. Or maybe that’s deliberate, maybe it’s implied she is trying to set up Eddie with anyone, girls or guys? After all, she did use gender neutral language during this ep... So we can’t know for sure, but something tells me Pepa just wants Eddie to officially have someone, and if she learns that Buck actually IS her nephew’s other half? (I can’t call either of these morons ‘better half’, sorry) Then she’d be the first one to throw them a party! And I love that, and I love her. Because after all, she’s not just a sassy queen, she’s not just incredibly loving and caring with her nephew, she was also willing to sacrifice her own image in his eyes, she was willing to be seen as herself, and not as what he expects, in order to help remind him that even if his first marriage failed miserably, he can find the courage, move on and re-commit himself to someone else. And soon maybe Eddie will realize and Pepa will find out who is that someone else that Eddie can have a beautiful committed r/s with...

~~ (my weekly meta posts) (my Buddie gifs) (all of my content)

~~ My tag list will follow in the reblog, please let me know  if you wanna be added/removed here.

~~ Thank you so much for reading and for any reblog, like, comment or supportive tag! I really couldn't keep doing these without knowing people want to see them. Also, my eternal gratitude as always to @whosoldherout​. I'm always in awe of your giffing!

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Sandy May Not Have Cheated on Soda

Y'all ready for another hot take?

I'm not saying it's likely, but it IS feasible that Sandy didn't cheat on Soda. I'm not saying she wasn't pregnant when she left- that's textual- but no where in the text does it explicitly say that Sandy cheated. It's implied, heavily, by Steve 1. and Darry 2., but never once is it explicitly said out loud. Additionally, Ponyboy remarks multiple times, that to his knowledge (and Soda's) Sandy really seemed to love Soda. Her blue eyes 'glowed' when she looked at him. Now, I know Ponyboy's narration is biased, and this could be read as part of his innocence and naïveté, but it could also be the truth. Sandy being shipped off to Florida to live with a relative was not uncommon for a teenager pregnant out of wedlock during the time period, but it was still a pretty swift and abrupt exit, especially since Sandy (presumably) wouldn't start showing for a while. It seems a little suspect to me. There's also the fact that Sandy wouldn't marry Soda. Now, I know the book says her parents took issue with it, but we know Sodapop is definitely the type of impulsive and romantic that he would be more than willing to steal her away and marry her anyway; but Sandy left and she sent his letter back unopened, so she clearly wasn't on board with that plan. The explanation of cheating is one that fits here to explain this away, but I'm not so sure. If I'd been sixteen and pregnant in the southern US in the sixties I'd probably have jumped on the chance to marry my handsome and devoted boyfriend, a guy so loyal he was willing to marry me even if I was (allegedly) pregnant with someone elses kid. yeah, Soda is poor but Sandy grew up poor and Soda had a full time job and a desire to make it work. Maybe Sandy is just a better person than me, or maybe there's a deeper- and darker- explanation at play here. Sandy was a lower class woman in the 1960s, and canonically doesn't come from a 'great home'. Knowing that the majority of teenage pregnancies involve a father who is an adult man, it stands to reason that there is a possibility that Sandy was raped or coerced into sex, and that the shame and trauma associated with that experience and the subsequent pregnancy were what led to her dumping Soda without a sufficient explanation and letting him draw his own conclusions, or lying about cheating either because she may have felt like she did after the assault or because it was easier than confessing what actually happened. She also can't have been the only east side girl to have gotten pregnant out of wedlock, and for all it would have damaged her reputation it may not have been irreperable in Tulsa. But rape victims are still stigmatized even in today's society, and it would have been a thousand times worse back then. If word got out, Sandy would have been a pariah. Maybe a fresh start in Florida and a chance to reinvent herself seemed better than any possible future in Tulsa.

Again, I'm not saying it's likely but it is POSSIBLE and definitely food for thought for a fandom that consistently demonizes Sandy without ever attempting to look deeper into her character.

"Look," Steve said, surprisingly angry, "does he have to draw you a picture? It was either that or get married, and her parents almost hit the roof at the idea of her marryin' a sixteen-year-old kid." (The Outsider, 1967).

2. "When Sandy went to Florida… it wasn't Soda, Ponyboy. He told me he loved her, but I guess she didn't love him like he thought she did, because it wasn't him."