#if anyone spoils the movie before I go to watch it I will fight you- 🫵

[erwinsvow]

𝐫𝐜 - 𝟐:𝟏𝟏𝐩𝐦

you slept at tannyhill every night now.

it was commonplace to see you making breakfast in the kitchen, by the pool with sarah or inside watching some silly movie with wheezie. that was only sometimes though, since all your time was usually spent with rafe.

he liked having you around at tannyhill all the time—he thought it was cute. you wait for him to get back like a little housewife, looking pretty and pampered and tan, like he wants.

he doesn’t like waking you up early when he’s leaving for the day. you used to set your alarm to get up and drink coffee with him but he’s started turning it off—you don’t have any reason to be up that early.

sweet and always compliant, you do as he says, sleeping in. rafe presses a kiss to your forehead in the morning before he leaves, day filled with meetings and business things that he doesn’t always tell you about in detail. you just know that he’s gone.

“stoppin’ by barry’s and then the club with kelce. we’re playing golf with-” you listen to rafe while he puts on his watch and his rings, but you drift off half way through. you feel the warm press of his lips on your skin and the sound of him saying goodbye.

you’re not sure when it happened—you used to get up early and get ready for the day, filling your summer days with friends at the beach and your books by the pool and never going more than an hour alone. but now that you’re with rafe, it’s so easy to sit around and wait for him. you don’t even want to see anyone, you just want the hours to pass until he’s back.

maybe it’s not healthy. you don’t really care much even if it’s not.

you fall back asleep, and wake up when the sun is pouring in between rafe’s dark curtains. you stretch and debate going downstairs to eat something, but after brushing your teeth you crawl back into rafe’s bed. the sheets smell like him and you stare awfully long at the pillow he sleeps on. shifting the pillow to lay on it, you fall back asleep, not waking up until you hear the door to his room open.

rubbing your eyes, you glance up, hoping it’s not ward looking for him since you’re just in one of rafe’s shirts and nothing else, but the shape in front of you gets closer and clearer.

“what’s this? been in bed all day, kid?” you yawn again.

“what time is it?” you question, laying back down against rafe’s pillow.

“two in the afternoon.” he comes and sits by the edge, stroking your hair while you melt into his touch. “got any plans to get up today?” you shake your head.

“your bed’s comfy. and it smells like you.”

“that’s cute, kid. gotta get up eventually.”

“you’ll have to make me.”

“that can be arranged.” you giggle, lifting yourself up to give rafe a hug, head resting on his shoulder. "but i like you like this. don't have to lift a finger, do'ya?"

“no," you agree, nodding your head. maybe you could get used to this. "missed you.”

“i’m back now. nothin’ to miss.”

“i still do.” rafe presses another kiss to your forehead, and you nestle in further. “i could fall asleep like this.”

“yeah, no.” in one motion he scoops you up, placing you on your feet. you yelp in surprise, fighting against his grip.

"i'm still tired! i thought you wanted to spoil me, this isn't spo-"

“shut up. c’mon, we’re gonna go shower.” that shuts you up right away. 

“okay,” you sing sweetly, suddenly compliant. 

“yeah, i knew you'd get out of bed for some dick. little freak.”

[werecreature-addicted]

consider: you fucking every other wolf in Jock Werewolf's pack (presumably all his best friends) without him in order to make him jealous

incase anyone didn't see I've decided to name Jock bully werewolf Ceaser :3

I don't think sleeping with his friends/packmates would work as well as you're hoping. for one Ceaser is MORE than happy to share you with other guys, as far as he's concerned, they'll fail to please you the way that he can and you'll have to come crawling back to him begging for his dick like a slut the way you always do.

Then the real fun begins. he's going to punish you all night for being such a cock whore and let all his friends watch and sneer about what a useless cum dump you are. His friends trade stories about what you did for them how you fucked them and he makes sure you do every single dirty thing again for him.

He'll make you ride one of his friend's smaller cocks as a way to stretch your pussy out for him and his big alpha knot. Because he is the Alpha, everyone follows his rules. The pack only ever looked twice at you because he let them. there was never any chance of you sneaking behind his back with his buddies, they told him right away, now you're in for it, he'll fuck you like a whore, since that's clearly what you want.

Now you going and talking to some other alpha... that will get to him. This isn't someone he can control as easily. He hasn't claimed you as his mate, you aren't even a member of his pack, he has no real claim over you.

This other Alpha is sweet, a natural leader, good with people, and charming. everything a real alpha should be. He likes listening to you talk, and always knows just what to say if you're upset. he's a really good friend and he's hot too.

It would be so easy to fall for him and your asshole kind of boyfriend kind of bully fully knows that. at first, he tries pulling you back the good old-fashioned way. eating your pussy like it's his life's work. He'll even stay the night, watch one of those shitty movies you like so much and let you cuddle up against him while it plays. if that doesn't work and you insist on still seeing that other guy...well he can play hardball too.

Most werewolves come from big families with at least four or five siblings running around, and that's true for this nicer Alpha. He just so happens to have a little sister who he adores. She's only a year younger but still the baby of the family. Ceaser pounces on her. He's nice and friendly, kind in a way he never is with you, he acts like the perfect bad boy with a heart of gold, and he takes the younger sister out on rides on his motorcycle around the neighborhood and to get ice cream.

It's all bullshit of course. He hates this spoiled brat and he hates faking being nice, but it works, it gets her older brother's attention. They fight back and forth for a little bit before coming to a mutual agreement Ceaser will stop seeing his sister if the other alpha agrees to never speak to you again. Everyone's happy win-win.

Well except for the sister who just got ghosted and for you who just lost a friend. Don't cry sweetheart your alpha will be home soon to fuck you until you forget everything but Ceaser's name.

[neoraso]

bf things with riize

shotaro:

is always your biggest cheerleader. listens to all your concerns and comforts you in the best way he can

loves meeting your friends and having you be close with his

is so excited to get to know you and learn everything he can about you - don't mind him he's just collecting data so he can love you even more ;>

is very much in it for the long haul with you- like he wouldn't be with you if he couldn't really see a future with you. he's pretty young and wouldn't really want to settle down until the future but he's planning on being with you as long as he can-often tells you this

wants to be the most positive, safe and uplifting person in your life. expect a lot of big hugs with back rubs, high fives where he intertwines your fingers ♡

eunseok:

he's pretty masculine but also very nonchalant about it. your man. takes care of things for you wordlessly, tucks you in, carries your bags etc.

pretends to be cocky/annoyed by your clinginess but literally becomes a "where's my hug at?" guy when he walks in the door. like if u don't at least give him a kiss hello he's like wth,,, is everything ok with my baby

will pretty much go along with whatever you want.. like if you want to watch a disney movie he'll be like i'm completely indifferent on what we watch but as long as it makes u happy

peels fruit for you and feeds it to you because he likes watching you eat.

so attentive. makes sure you're taking your medicine/vitamins, that you're sleeping well and making it to all your appointments, fulfilling all your responsibilities.

sungchan:

prefers to stay at your house over everything,, u gave him a key and he abuses the privilege- like you come home from work/school and he's just in ur bed .. sometimes even asleep and ur like ok sure??

idk how to explain ,, he's like that typical older guy like brother's best friend vibes just always playful, flirty, teasing but all out of love.

ur just his which he reminds you of daily .. "how's my baby," "my favorite girl doing ok?" "you know you're my angel right?"

loves to attack you with love. pushes you on the bed so he can lay all his weight on you (WILL fall asleep like this if you're not careful), tugs on your hair to get you to look at him , pokes or tickles you if he thinks you're not paying enough attention to him

in that vein, very protective of you. if someone is bothering you or just making life difficult he is ready and willing to throw hands. you can tell bc his jaw clenches and his nose flares just a bit until ur like,,sungchan it's really fine just annoying,,, and he's like mmhm sure (still rubs your arm and back to calm himself down..)

wonbin:

holds your hand as long as he can wherever yall go. like if he's saying goodbye :< waits until the door is about to smash his hand to let go of yours

once you get to the stage where he trusts you to share his worries with ..,,, u are locked in like u are 4lifers

teases his friends a lot but is literally putty in your hands like he will do anything for you and would never want you to question his affection for you

best listener . full eye contact (even if it makes you blush) usually playing with your fingers too. brings up things you've mentioned before and ur like,, how do you even remember this I don't even remember this

lowk needs reassurance and his heart gets so warm when you sincerely tell him how you feel and how much you love and appreciate him

seunghan:

finds anything remotely heart-shaped and points it out to you or texts you a picture.

you are literally his baby.,,, even if you're older, you are his baby. adores you, dotes on you, spoils you, feeds you, etc.

so affirming and validating whenever you rant to him. pets your hair and pouts "really baby? that sounds so frustrating but you're doing so well handling it. i'm here if you need me to fight someone :>" (has never fought anyone in his life)

hypeman hypeman hypeman. encourages you in everything you do and will show his support in forms of kisses, sweet words and texts

unlike sungchan he wont be so ,,... intrusive when he can't see you often but he does video call you as much as he can because he NEEDS to check on his lovely lover sweetie pie angel

sohee:

thinks all your quirks are so endearing and makes him fall even deeper for you

wants to learn your native language so bad so he can be closer to you and meet you halfway in communication

sooooo appreciates how you listen to him and his day, his worries, his dreams. wants to be there for you just as much ♡

i think he'd like to leave you little gifts even if it's like a post it note with a candy and a little encouraging message, or something bigger like shoes or a jacket or jewelry you've been eyeing

though he has so much energy, he also loves recharging at home with you, just snuggling and sharing little kisses and snacks.

anton:

appreciates how you never push him out of his comfort zone, grabs your hand as a silent ask for support.

loves to have fun with you ,, going out with you, watching and making silly tiktoks even just laying around and chilling with you makes him so happiiii

will hug you or backhug you and for some reason gets shy and shocked when you kiss him bc he's so cute

yall definitely started as besties ,, so you're already pretty close as a couple except now you get to kiss and stuff which he thinks is pretty great.

has 282922892 pics of you in his phone, printed , polaroids. he’s too shy to hang them up but he keeps one in his wallet and in his phone case to feel like you’re with him all the time :>

[silver-tangent]

You know… the bait and switch of Scott Pilgrim takes off was needed.

Scott Pilgrim was meant to be a subversion of tropes, and it got picked up by a bunch of nice guys, myself included at one point, who turned it into their anthem.

The original comic was about Everyman Scott Pilgrim having to win a woman by fighting her evil exes, and on the surface that’s what it was. Between the fanbase and the movie, that’s as shallow as anyone goes…

Except that Scott didn’t win her by defeating her evil exes. Scott was troubled and problematic. In the end he wasn’t abusive but he was neglectful and took Ramona for granted to the point that her abusive and manipulative ex managed to convince her to go back to him… mostly out of fear of what would happen to dumb, hapless, Scott.

Scott was an exceptional fighter in his videogame world… he beat like… one of the seven. The rest of the time he was saved by complete dumb luck, by his friends, and by Ramona.

The entire point was slowly realizing how silly the situation was, and how he wasn’t a white knight… he was set up to be a white knight only to knock that idea down and have Ramona and friends help him.

They learned, they grew, they were both toxic and broken people for different reasons, Scott through ignorance and a lack of experience and Ramona through trauma and abusive relationships…

And in the comic… they don’t exactly break up but she ghosts him. Horribly… and he ends up fighting Gideon anyway, and rescuing her… by gaining the Power of Understanding. That’s right, not self-respect. Understanding…

And the last page they decide to try again, but we don’t know what that means… everyone moves on to a better place in their lives, a lot of them move on from Scott and Ramona romantically… and Scott and Ramona get to just… see where this goes…

and that’s a sweet note to end on. Two people who didn’t know how to be healthy partners growing up, and timidly trying it all over, with no confirmation of how it works.

Movie? Movie came out before book 6, audiences didn’t like the ending where Scott chases after Ramona (differently from the books like he literally chases after her) so Scott earns the power of self respect, and gets back with Knives…

And intended or not, it just sets up this idea that Ramona was the bad guy. Ramona, the abuse victim, was friend-zoning Scott; the nice guy…

And for a decade, the fandom has kinda devolved into that mentality; Scott Pilgrim is the savior of the nice guys. Ramona is the unobtainable girl. Knives is the victim…

O’Malley’s original point, that relationships are hard and trauma is hard, and nobody can do it alone… lost.

To the point that we are so deep in this nice guy culture that making a sequel disguised as a reboot (will not spoil more) was necessary. He had to make the point more obvious, that the story was always about Ramona working through her relationship trauma… Scott was the house husband. He was always meant to be.

Everyone I see complaining about the twist… does not get the point of the comics… and I’ve been bitching about the movie for more than a decade so I’m sorry… it’s not a *bad* movie… but it’s clear most of the fanbase only watched the movie. And it’s clear most of the people complaining are Gideon in denial… no… Future Scott in denial… which is in fact the point.

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

Hear me out.....pretty...pretty Please, some general fluff headcannons for 141 and Konig?! I'm desperate for some fluff. Stuff like how soft they r how they r at home, kisses that sort of thing? Id die of happiness if u did!!!!!?????

141 + König General Fluff Headcannons

Warnings: fluff🩷, mild NSFW references

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Simon Ghost Riley-

It takes him a while to open up to you, but once he does? He's yours forever.

He is more of a listener than a talker, and he is damn good at listening

You always have to be within his line of sight. He always wants to make sure you're safe.

Definitely gets up before you in the mornings and loves to wake you up with coffee

Not big on PDA, but he doesn't mind holding your hand out in public.

Doesn't say I love you often, but when he does, it turns your whole world on an axis

Says no to a getting a dog at first, but when you finally get him to say yes? The dog is that man's best friend.

He's not a very good cook when you first get together, but he teaches himself in secret one year to surprise you on your birthday by making you your favorite meal. (Your heart nearly melted at the proud smile on his face when he told you he made it)

This man is loyal as hell. You will NEVER catch him looking anyway at anyone the way he looks at you. No person's beauty in his mind will ever compare to yours

Loves going for long car rides with you. Weekend trips, day trips, whatever works for him. Will ALWAYS have his hand resting on your thigh

He developed a ritual with you, where he will wear one of his hoodies for a few days straight so it smells like him when he goes on deployments

Secretly loves when you wear his dog tags. It's a kink of his he won't voice out loud

Loves to spoon you in bed. Very rarely will he not be holding you, or touching you in some way when he sleeps

Takes him a while, but he'll start to look forward to holidays with your family. They welcome him with open arms, and for the first time in a long time, Simon feels like he has a true family who loves him

John Price-

Loves to hear about your day. First thing he asks you when you come home after work is how was your day? And this man GENUINELY listens

Loves to spoil you. Man gives inadvertent sugar daddy vibes. You even hint at something you like or want? He will get it for you

Huge on spontaneous dinner dates. Loves to come home randomly and tell you he's taking you for a night out

Literally has the hardest time saying no to you. For ANYTHING.

He tries to act all tough, but this man is so whipped for you

Loves when you rest your feet in his lap on the couch, as he loves to massage them for you after a long day

Fight me, but this man loves to take baths with you. He loves to relax in the hot water, with you against his chest. He can literally fall asleep like this

Always insists on paying when you go out to eat. Never, ever let's you foot the bill (if you pout enough, he may let you, but will feel bad about it afterward)

Will watch any TV show you want. He says he hates romantic dramas, but he's just as invested as you are

Kisses with him are always longing, and always want you leaving more

Man is a Valentines Day legend. Flowers, chocolates, jewelry, fancy dinners THE WORKS

Johnny Soap MacTavish-

An amazingly fun boyfriend to have.

Johnny always wants to do something fun, go somewhere fun

He's surprisingly amazing at giving massages

Doesn't mind PDA, he'll randomly kiss you in public, hug you, and hold you close. He doesn't care who sees.

Loves to try new things. Whether it's food, movies, or something to spice up the bedroom, the man will never say no to trying something at least once

Not a morning person, and he will have an iron tight grip on you in an attempt to force you to stay in bed longer with him every morning (he always ends up succeeding)

His ideal date with you is a pub. Something with good food, good beer, and even better company.

Loves to "mislead" you about when he's coming home from a mission, because he absolutely adores the look on your face when he surprises you earlier than expected

Adores double dates. Loves to hang out with couple friends.

When you're walking on a sidewalk, he'll always push you on the inside so you're away from the cars

Definitely is that boyfriend that will send you a dozen tik tok reels a day

Please go to an amusement park with him. He'd be so happy winning the various carnival games for you, getting you any stuffed animal of your choosing

You two cannot do surprises for one another. You get too excited and end up telling each other gifts or surprises the minute you plan them

Kyle Gaz Garrick-

This man loves to surprise you with flowers. Had a bad day? Flowers. Wants you to feel a little extra loved? Flowers. Thought you looked cute one day? Flowers.

Loves to go to furniture stores with you. Even if you don't actually need it, the two of you can spend hours looking around at various stores

Enjoys cooking for you. He's one to try new recipes, and loves seeing your reactions to them.

Firmly believe this man loves to dress up as a couple and that Halloween is his absolute favorite holiday.

Adorably loves to have a "chore" day once a week with you, where you both do house chores together for a few hours, while each of you gets to pick what song plays in the background

So supportive of any hobby you might have. Like to paint? He'll continuously buy you paint brushes. Love video games? He'll buy you any new one that comes out he'd think you'd enjoy.

Whenever you guys go out, he always orders something you like for his meal, in case you don't like yours

If you have longer hair, he loves to play with it and help you style it

Best movie buddy ever. He LOVES going to the movies with you, and will get you all the popcorn and snacks you desire

Will hold your bags for you while you shop, and will fight you if you try to carry your own

König-

Possibly the sweetest boyfriend out of all of them

You will catch him staring at you ALL the time. Any second he gets, he will be looking at you

Loves date night ins. Cooking together or getting takeout and cuddling on the couch together while watching a movie? This man'll be in heaven

Loves to offer you his arm in public. Plays into his size kink when your small hand wraps around his bicep whenever you walk anywhere.

Man will WORSHIP you in bed. Wants nothing more than to make you happy in every aspect of your life.

Is more of a cat person than a dog person, so you two end up getting quite a few kitties around the house

Always kisses you like you're delicate. Loves to place gentle, loving kisses to your lips when you least except it, and his cheeks always flush a deep pink when he does

Will always shower with you. When he's home from missions you very, very rarely shower alone. Loves to help you shampoo your hair

Adores ADORRESSS when you wear his clothes. Triggers the man's size kink like no other when his shirts are like dresses on you

Amazing at aftercare. Always wants to make sure you're satisfied. Will warm a towel for you, get your water-whatever you need.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[freyito]

Could I request the Lin Kuei trio and Syzoth with a male reader that just has the prettiest puppy-dog eyes ever?

Like, he doesn't even have to try to beg for anything because he simply has to look up at someone with slightly pleading expression and then before anyone knows anything they're just giving into him because his eyes are so hghnwejh

✭ pairing(s): bi-han [sub zero], kuai liang [scorpion], tomas vrbada [smoke], syzoth [reptile], kenshi takahashi (seperate) x m!reader

✧ a/n: if i could get anything i wanted just by staring at someone i think i would be rich (would have more miku figures)

🗒 cw: male reader (but i barely use gendered terms), just fluff :), bonus character, proofread

✎ wc: 1.7k

ʜᴇ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴀʏ ɴᴏ…

⎯ Bi-Han

Bi-Han is prone to spoiling you, it’s no secret. Even amongst the Lin Kuei, they know that you, specifically, are his weak spot. He might be the strictest man in the world to their eyes, but he’s putty in your hands. Usually.

You and Bi-Han haven’t had a date in a while, he was busy with the Lin Kuei, and you could tell he was starting to get more and more stressed out. So you’ve essentially dragged him on a date, a nice little bakery in town that serves decadent desserts.

He insists on some place else, just a walk will do. But you beg and beg, and plead, it has some of the best chocolate cake, you know he’s a big sweets person deep down. And he pushes back. Not because he doesn’t want to go with you, but because he’s just too stubborn.

So, you have no choice but to use your trump card. He can see the gears turning in your head and he does his best to fight against it, but it’s too late. You give him a look with big ol’ eyes, almost quivering your lip. You watch his resolve crack, and shatter. Victory in hand, you drag Bi-Han to the bakery. And as much as he tries to be dismissive about it, you can tell he actually appreciates it.

He may act all tough, seem unphased, but you have him wrapped around your finger. He always tries to play it off, the Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei cannot show any weakness. And god forbid he enjoys ‘cute’ things… but you are the exception. You don’t even need to plead, or beg, because he’s at your beck and call. The puppy eyes are just the cherry on top, he can never, and will never say no to them.

⎯ Kuai Liang

Kuai Liang likes to think he’s impenetrable. He believes he won’t fall for your puppy eyes time and time again, which is always a lie. Case in point: you were trying to get him to spend more time with you. Why? You were just feeling clingy.

And of course he tries to push back. It’s not that he doesn’t want to spend time with you, it’s the fact that building the Shirai Ryu takes a lot of time and effort. Although, he does seem to agree that he has been neglecting time with you. So, he’s convinced eventually.

It’s not the date that forces you to use your secret weapon, rather, where you are at. After much planning and scrambling to find a time that fits his schedule, you two are off to see a film. It isn’t necessarily his favorite choice, and it feels a bit cheesy to him, but he can look past it. What matters to him is the time with you.

After the movie, you find a photobooth. It may be silly and a bit childish, but when was the last time you had a physical picture with Kuai Liang? Never! So of course you bug him to get in it with you. He pushes back, he believes there’s no reason for it. It’s not like he has a scrapbook. But you don’t need a scrapbook for a little photo strip of you and him! After a bit of back and forth, you’re starting to feel like you’re losing.

No warning, no escape. You tug on his arm to pull him on, giving him a pleading look he just can’t say no to. Begrudgingly, he joins you in the booth. The photos come out cute… in a way. Kuai Liang doesn’t exactly look too thrilled in any of the pictures, but he clearly plays along with whatever pose you chose. If you try to make a heart with your hand, he’ll complete it, if you kiss him, he’ll lean into it. He tries not to come off as too annoyed, because secretly, he kind of likes this childish kind of stuff. It isn’t something he got to do a lot when he was younger, as the Grandmaster’s son, he didn’t get much free time. Training and the like.

⎯ Tomas Vrbada

Now, Tomas could never say no to you. He’s not weak-willed, but when it comes to you, you always get through to him. Anything you want? It’s yours. Ignore the fly that flies out of his wallet. You wanna spend time with him? Of course! Let him just clear his schedule real quick.

However, you two don’t get to enjoy a lot of city dates that much. Normally, you two just settle at Madame Bo’s, which is always a nice time. But both of you are starting to get restless. You plan a night out on the town, a nice little dinner, and ending at an arcade.

The date goes wonderfully, it’s a peaceful night, and both of you are able to unwind. Given the stress of building the Shirai Ryu and training new recruits, it’s clear that Tomas needed a night out. Or a week out. A month, even. But that was an issue for another day. What mattered the most now was the arcade!

You spend hours there, jumping from machine to machine, scrounging for tickets. You have your sights set on a massive bear plush. Why? You can’t help but think it looks like Tomas… and you’ll be damned if you’d pass up on that. You’re determined, beyond so, but you’re about…. 4,000 tickets short. And it’s late. You start to give up on your goal.

So, you turn to your boyfriend with a defeated look, and he doesn’t even give you two seconds before he’s working overtime. Truthfully, he doesn’t see the resemblance, but if you’re so hellbent on it… he is too! And he can’t stand to see his pretty boy so dejected. You will walk out of this arcade with that bear in his arms, he makes sure of it. In record time, he manages to scrounge up the 4,000 tickets, and an extra 500 for some probably stale candy, as well. Needless to say, you walk outside of the arcade and end the night with the bear in your hands, your boyfriend following behind happily.

⎯ Syzoth

With Syzoth, it is a war of the gods. You have to use your power sparingly, and you have to be prepared to get it back tenfold. But you're resilient, so you can take it. You’re sure of it. And he has a massive soft spot for you, of course he does. So no matter how long you two stare into each other's eyes, no matter how big and sparkly you try to make your eyes look, he always gives in.

Right now, you are certain you can get through to him without weaponizing your eyes. You’ve just found a stray kitten, it’s all scraggly and wet and probably abandoned and most definitely infested with fleas. And you can’t help but want to keep it. You can and will take care of it, you swear!

Even the kitten is pleading its case, mewing and staring at Syzoth with big, brown eyes that just scream ‘take me home’. And he tries to turn away and close his eyes. He’s stubborn, for sure. And if this cute little kitten can’t get through to him… maybe you can?

And so, you huff, waiting for him to turn back towards you. You can look at him like this all day if you need to, this kitten is in clear need of a home and you weren’t just going to leave it behind. You pout slightly, your eyes water a bit, and finally, he turns around.

Of course, Syzoth doesn’t allow you an easy win. He gives you the same energy back, sighs and says it will cost a lot of money. You don’t give up, and clearly this kitten hasn’t either. The air is tense, you and your boyfriend stare into eachothers eyes for what feels like an eternity, the kitten mewls and does its best to join in. Ultimately, you win. It’s two against one, and Syzoth just can’t say no.

⎯ [Bonus!] Kenshi Takahashi

Kenshi has been a busy man these days, caught up with the OIA, still dealing with the remnants of his past, it’s hard for him to keep up. He works long hours at the office, sometimes coming home well into the night when you are asleep. Of course he feels guilty for this, and he does his best to get time off, but not everything works in his favor.

Considering his lack of eyesight, he says he’s immune to you. Which is only partially true. He picks up on that little breath you take when you pout, the way you shuffle to look up at him, so he knows your routine. But you know his, too. You’ve picked up on the fact that he’s incredibly susceptible to you with Sento around, given the fact that he can actually see you.

You wait all night for him to come home, you’re beyond tired. It’s hard to keep your head up, or your eyes open, but you sit in the living room, anxious and waiting. Kenshi’s first move when he gets home is to always put Sento away, which involves him grabbing it, which means he can see you. For even a split second. So when the door opens, you’re on him.

He asks why you’re up so late, hand slowly reaching back into the case that is slung over his shoulder to grab Sento. The moment his fingers back contact with the sheathe, you look up at him and pout and plead, hands clasped together, begging him to spend more time with you. The instant he sees your face, he lets go of Sento, shaking his head slightly.

He tells you that he does his best, and he swears he will spend more time with you, but he cannot give you a day or time set in stone. He can’t take another second of your face, because it makes his heart hurt and it makes him feel guilty… which he was already feeling beforehand. However, Kenshi surprises you the next week with two days off, a nice day out with a fancy dinner, and a day in where you’re cuddled up against him while he plays with your hair.

© freyito, 2024 | masterlist | queue | kofi | star header by roseschoices DO NOT REPOST AS YOUR OWN, REPOST ON ANY OTHER PLATFORM, OR USE FOR AI/AI CHATBOTS.

[quietlyinlife]

Platonic Yandere Father Leon Kennedy

•If Leon is possessive and obsessive with his wife, then you are in the same position as your mother but worse the moment you were born and being held in his arms. 

•After all the hardships and deaths he experienced when he was a newbie cop and the outbreaks that occurred, he didn’t want you to leave him or your mother. The two people he loves so much that Leon is willing to give up saving the world in order to rescue you and his wife.

•Leon may not have gotten the childhood he wanted after his parents’ death but he didn’t want you to go through the same traumatic experience as he did when he was a kid.

•Also made you another reason why he should continue fighting to stay alive.

•As a father, he would aid your mother to take care of you, help her bathe you, feed you, go out to buy baby supplies, and insist that your mother should stay home and play with you before he comes back.

•When his job doesn’t call for him, he spends all his time and attention on you. Showing you the toys he brought as you lay on your crib and watching him give you many plushies to hold. Would coo at you while he carries you and makes a promise to you that even if you grow up into an adult, he will always protect you and your mom and kill anyone who tries to take the both of you away.

•Definitely watches over you in the middle of the night after waking up from one of his many nightmares. Eyes were glued to you as you slept and sometimes he would doze off on the couch in the nursery room.

•Would play games with you like hide and seek or tag when you learned how to walk and talk.

•As a child, you were naive about the dark past Leon has with your mom, you only noticed how your mom was never allowed to go outside alone with you. Only Leon could accompany you and your mom during outings together. You also noticed how tightly his hand held your mom’s while the three of you went on a walk through the empty road in an isolated forest where the house is located. Leon never allows you to run far.

•When it’s just you and your mom at home, she begins to tell you stories about how she met your father when both of them were young. Your father used to be a police officer and he saved her from being attacked and they went traveling around Raccoon City. She left the outbreak of the t-virus part out, including how she got kidnapped by Leon a few weeks later after six years when he finally reunited with her.

•As you grow up into a teenager, you start to begin to notice how isolating your father is. One time you asked if you could go outside, Leon would look at you, startled before a smile forms on his face, and gives a short speech about how dangerous this world is and how there are dangers at every corner. But he would take you outside the home if you begged enough for a four-minute walk before going back inside. But if you asked one more time to go out he’ll usually ignore you or just say no.

•Leon never lets you go out alone, or out with some friends. Your dad doesn't trust anyone with you or your mom.

•Leon is a spoiling father, buying you anything you want with no limits if you asked. Your mother taught you to be grateful for all the things Leon and her have done for you. 

•Leon is a bit too much as a father, he hates when you do something without him, or on your phone and not paying attention to him, and wants you to always text him or say it to him physically goodnight to him before sleeping. But what Leon hates the most is when you watch horror movies and he would sometimes get a bit ptsd from them when he sees a scene quite similar of what he went through. He thinks you're too young for them and bad for your mental health so if he ever catches you watching something scary, he would give you a death stare before turning the tv off.

"I don't want you to ever watch any of this." Leon fumes, a frown casting across his face as his tone is deep and dark. His eyes stares deep into your own. Not once looking away from you, You were nearly quivering on the couch but kept a brave face. And ever since that day, you only watched horror movies inside your room on your laptop.

•Would ask you questions about your day when he comes home. Also expects you to go to him for a hug when he returns from his mission. If you don’t show up then he’s at the door of your room, knocking and engulfing you into a tight hug. You’re not allowed to complain.

“Am I not allowed to hug my only child? I miss you every day even when we live in the same house together.” He tells you as he pulls you back to look at your face with a questioning look.

•You’re not the only victim of his affections, your mom is too as he forces kisses on her face.

•Leon also checks your phone sometimes just to watch out for you, as he claims but you brush it off since he just wants to see if your friends are a bad influence. You kept it from your father when he was away for his job as an agent, you would always delete the messages between you and your friends.

•But what you didn’t know is that Leon hacked into your phone before he even gave it to you as a gift when he first brought it for you when you turned 13 years old; giving him access through your contacts and other stuff. He simply wants to know if you hide things from him. You would never find out the real reason why your friends suddenly leave the school. There’s nothing you can hide from him.

•You started to become a bit scared of your father when you started to read people's horrifying experience on the internet of what they went through of someone stalking them and obsessing over them. One woman told the story of how her boyfriend never allowed her to talk to any guy or friends because he was scared they were going to take her away from him. But when she confronted him about his behaviour, he excused it saying that "This world is dangerous and I am simply protecting you." And you quickly found out that your dad is more than just an agent.

•You noticed how jumpy your mom is around Leon and how in the middle of the night, he would always say how much he loves her and that he is doing this for your and her own good. You even recall hearing your mom crying silently in the kitchen. She never says "I love you" towards Leon.

•Your curiosity brought you to investigate your parent's past.

•You only came to fully realize the toxic behavior of your father because you decided to snoop around your dad’s office after managing to open the door, using the lock-picking technique you learned from the internet.

•You were curious about why your father forbade you from entering his office, but also you figured it would be easier starting with him considering of his actions and it’s not like he would find out immediately of what you did. That’s what you reassured yourself.

•Many documents could be found and a report on your father’s desk, that’s when you came to know about the Kennedy report and see your father’s younger picture. You saw how stoic and stern his face was, so dull with no sign of light.

•You could definitely understand why as you read through the report.

•You also came to know what actually happened in Raccoon City that your mom didn’t tell you about. But what was more shocking is that you opened a file containing your mother’s entire information that was hidden in his drawer and many pictures of her. Including a newspaper talking about the missing woman who is known to be your mother.

•The moment Leon left the house not before giving your mom a goodbye kiss and giving you a kiss on the top of your head as well, you confronted your mother about the file and how she kept the outbreak from you. Even how your dad literally has an entire information and pictures of her. That’s when you saw her face morph into terror as you demanded an explanation of what is going on.

•Tired of her keeping secrets.

• And your mother told you the entire story of what happened in Raccoon City and Leon’s obsession that drove him to abduct her, as a way to protect her. She even mentioned that he cared for another woman named Ada Wong but he still chose your mom. Your mother didn’t leave any single detail out as she told her story of how Leon gaslighted her and how she tried to escape many times but failed. You couldn’t help but see your parents in a different light now.

“Let’s run away together Mom.” You told her with a determined expression as she profusely shook her head, not agreeing with you. 

“N-no my love, you don’t know what your father is truly capable of.” Your mother stuttered as she cupped your face.

“What do you mean? Dad’s a secret agent and he knows how to fight, right?”

“There’s more than that.” Mom whispers to you, her frightened eyes never leaving your face.

•What you two didn’t know is that Leon has placed hidden cameras in the house, watching and listening. He heard the entire conversation and was rather heartbroken that you suggested to escape with your mom.

•And even disappointed when he watched you go through his work in the office. Leon is not dumb because he knows there will be a time when you truly find out the truth. He is aware of your growing suspicion.

•If you ever escaped, you wouldn’t go that far since your father would always find you. He placed a tracker on your clothes, phone, and jewelry. If you wear it.

•Leon never treated you and your mother bad! He could never bring himself to even use violence towards the both of you. You didn’t understand but don’t worry. As a father, he’ll make you see through his perspective in his own way.

[dovesdreaming]

do you have any Benny Weir headcanons?

Benny weir relationship headcanons

Hi I did headcanons for being in a relationship with Benny so I hope that’s ok! Hope you enjoy <3

Warnings: none (reader is gender neutral despite the pictures)

-I think Benny weir would be a really romantic person in a relationship given he would do it slightly awkwardly. He would relax the more you got to know each other though and it would become second nature to him to just spoil you. Would definitely love saying really cheesy things to you just to see you smile.

-Would definitely use magic to help him. This backfires on him multiple times though like he accidentally gives you chocolates that turn your hair a different colour. Benny would be apologetic about it but you would make him promise to use less magic for gifts. You wouldn’t be mad at Benny and it becomes a funny story you tell everyone about your relationship.

-I see Benny as a friends to lovers type of person. You would become friends from being in the same class together and find out you had similar interests leading you to hanging out and before you know it you’re both deeply in love with each other.

-Would be so nervous around you at the start of the relationship even though you were friends before, he just didn’t want to mess anything up. Would have to hype himself up for five minutes before reaching to hold your hand when walking back from your first date.

-Benny would pull all the classic moves on you such as kissing you on your doorstep on your first date (then would proceed to fist bump the air when you had gone inside). He would also pull the fake yawning move to put his hand round your shoulder (definitely believed he got away with it aswell). His favourite move to pull though that he still and will always use is the scary movie. He puts the movie on so that you will jump into his arms because you’re scared. It works most of the time, the other times it’s him jumping into your arms because he’s scared.

-When you start staying in each others rooms you would definitely be cuddling. He loves touch and wouldn’t want to be separated from you. He would whine if you ever wanted to get up to go to the bathroom. Would probably follow you in with you just to be close to you if you let him.

-Wouldn’t care if you had any scars or stretch marks he understands how rough life can be as he gets his fair share of scars from fighting the supernatural.

-Would be such a golden retriever boyfriend who is always happy to see you. If he was actually a dog his tail would be constantly wagging in your presence (probably accidentally turns himself into one at some point).

-Would be protective of you since he knows the supernatural exist and this would make him a bit possessive at times. Like he would want you to keep him constantly updated with your location so that you don’t come to harm.

-Would be down for anything you want to do. You want to paint his nails? He wants them painted his favourite colour. You want to do face masks? He wants a headband too. You’re doing your makeup? He wants to watch and maybe even help. He would just want to be in your presence and together you would just have the best time, could probably make watching paint dry fun.

-He would be the type of boyfriend where you ask him to jump and he says how far.

-Overall he is the sweetest boyfriend anyone could ask for and always Keeps you at the forefront of his mind.

Thank you for reading!

[canirove]

My neighbour Rúben | Chapter 1

Summary: Have you ever watched this movie Scarlett Johansson and Chris Evans did before Marvel called “The Nanny Diaries”? It's about a girl, Scarlett's character, who finds herself working as a nanny for a very rich family, and Chris happens to be her hot and very cute neighbour. And something very similar is what has happened to me, neighbour included. Though in my case, mine is very cute and very hot. And handsome. The most handsome man I have ever seen. And his name is Rúben.

Author's note: This story has been finished and waiting in my drafts since 2022. I wrote it as a new and different version of "The Nanny Diaries" (my story with Ben Chilwell) because I didn't like it, and then I ended not liking this one either 🙈 But time passed, I read it again recently, thought it was cute… And here we are, having now both of them posted when they weren't supposed to 😅 I hope you like it, and as always, thank you for reading! 💜

Next chapter

Masterlist

Have you ever watched this movie Scarlett Johansson and Chris Evans did before Marvel called “The Nanny Diaries”? It's about a girl, Scarlett's character, who finds herself working as a nanny for a very rich family with a spoiled kid and Chris is her hot and very cute neighbour. And something very similar is what has happened to me, but let's start from the beginning.

My entire life was designed to achieve one goal: become the best piano player in the country. Or in the continent if my father got too excited. And since I can remember, I've been glued to one.

While my friends were going out to the park, I was going to my teacher's house to practice. While my friends were meeting to go shopping or watch a movie at the cinema, I was practicing. While my friends were going out clubbing and meeting boys and girls, I was going early to bed because I had practice in the morning. And while my friends were choosing a career path they liked and enjoyed and moving to different cities all around the country, I only had one option: playing the piano and moving to Manchester, where the best teacher lived. 

The weather sucks, yes. But it isn't such an ugly city as they say, and all the people I met were lovely and very welcoming. Unless you are fighting with them for a spot on the next recital or to get the next scholarship. That's when things get nasty, and that's how you end up with broken fingers and the dreams your parents had for you shattered. Because becoming the best piano player of my generation wasn't my dream, it was theirs. Or my father’s to be precise.

So when Anastasia Hamilton pushed me down the stairs and I found myself with two broken fingers on my left hand, a sprained ankle and my body covered in bruises, I didn't complain. Well, that's a lie. I complained and cried because it hurt like hell. But I didn't complain when they told me I wouldn't be able to play the piano like I used to due to one of my fingers not healing properly despite being treated by the best doctors. I didn't complain because I was finally free. If I wanted to play, I would be doing it because I wanted to, not because it was my job, because I had to, because my future depended on it. Now I was free to finally follow my dreams and not my parents’. Or that's what I thought.

I told them I wanted to take a gap year to figure out what to do with my life, but they said no. They had decided that I should study to become a music teacher, to help others achieve what I hadn't been able to. We argued, they said that if I wanted to do anything different it would not be with their money, I said ok, and I found myself alone in Manchester with barely any money or a place to live.

And that's when I crossed paths with Julia. 

I had gone to the shopping centre to see if anyone was looking for a waitress or someone to fold t-shirts in a shop, when I saw her crying in the middle of one of the corridors, most people walking past her and ignoring her. 

"Hey, are you ok?" I said, kneeling in front of her. "Where are your parents?"

"Quiero a mi mamá" she sobbed. That was why people were ignoring her. She only spoke Spanish and they didn't understand her. But, lucky me, I used to go to the north of Spain for music summer camp and I can speak it fluently. 

"¿Dónde está tu mamá?" Where is your mum? 

"No lo sé. Estaba comprando una taza fea y..." Her mum was buying an ugly mug. I couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Ok, let’s go find her.” Where we were most shops only sold clothes, but I remembered I had just walked past a Zara Home. Maybe she was there? "Come" I said, grabbing her hand. She didn't say a word and just followed me, her sobs turning into hiccups. 

"Julia!" a woman screamed the moment we turned the corner. "Oh, Julia, I thought I had lost you!" 

"Mami!" the kid said, letting go of my hand and throwing herself at the woman. "Me perdí y esta chica me ayudó."

"Did you help her?" the woman asked me.

"I saw her crying and that people were ignoring her, and I decided to check on her. She was speaking Spanish and I think that's why most people were walking past her, because they weren't able to understand her."

"Oh, she always does that when she gets upset. Do you speak Spanish?"

"Yup."

"Oh, you are an angel" the woman said, hugging her daughter a bit tighter. "I don't know how I'm gonna be able to thank you."

"Knowing that she's alright is enough, don’t worry."

"No, no, no. You must allow me to do something for you. What do you say, Julia. Should we invite this wonderful angel to have lunch with us?"

"Yes!" Julia said, her English coming back. "We'll bake you a chocolate cake! Do you like chocolate cake?"

"I actually do, yes" I smiled.

"Then it's settled. Let me give you my card, it has my office phone number on it" Julia's mum said, opening her bag. "Call tomorrow morning and we'll schedule that lunch together."

"Ok. Thank you."

"Thank you" the woman said, giving me a hug. "My name us Lucía, by the way. But you can call me Lucy like everyone in this country does."

"Nice to meet you, Lucy."

Lucía, Lucy. A Spanish lawyer specialized in divorces, and the divorces of very wealthy people. Which meant that when I arrived at her house for that lunch date, I found myself before one of the most expensive apartment buildings in the city. 

"Are you coming in, miss?" the doorman asked.

"Yes, hi, sorry. Do I have to tell you where I'm going or..."

"You don't look like a thief" the man chuckled.

"I'm not, I promise. I'm meeting with Lucy and Julia."

"Oh, yes. Miss Julia said a friend was coming for lunch today. An angel."

"That must be me" I said, blushing a bit.

"Then welcome, miss" the man said, opening the building's door. "Do you know their floor number?"

"Yes, the 7th. Letter B."

"That’s the one. Call for the lift and push the number, their house will be the one to your right."

"Thank you very much, sir."

"My pleasure, miss" the man said with a smile. Roger. The loveliest man you'll ever meet.

"So glad you could make it" Lucy said after opening the door, giving me a hug. 

"Angel!" Julia screamed, coming to also hug me. "You came!"

"Of course I did."

"She’s decided to start calling you angel because of what I said at the shopping centre. I hope you don’t mind.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry" I smiled.

“Come, let me show you my room" Julia said, grabbing my hand and forcing me to follow her.

After a tour around the house and its many rooms, we were back in the living room, one where the small flat I was renting thanks to some money my grandparents had been sending me without my parents knowing, could perfectly fit.

"Is that a real piano?" I asked Julia.

"It's daddy's" she said. "We used to play together."

"That's lovely." My dad never played with me just for fun. It always was about practice, practice... And oh, yes, more practice.

"Do you play?" Lucy asked me.

"Since I was Julia's age."

"Oh, that's wonderful! Why don't you play something for us while we wait for our food?"

"Sure" I said, sitting in front of the huge black piano. It was a very expensive one like everything else on that building.

"Daddy used to play that!" Julia said when she recognized the song. "Hey Jude, don't make it bad... Mami, why are you crying?" she asked her when we finished.

"Because it was beautiful, sweetheart. And you play so well" Lucy told me. "Have you ever thought about giving lessons?"

"Not really..."

"Julia started to take them a few months ago, but her teacher... Had other things to do, so now she doesn't have one. Would you like to take her place?"

"Me?" 

"Yes, angel! Be my teacher!" Julia said, clapping her hands and jumping.

That was what my parents had wanted me to do. To become a teacher. I wasn't going to be doing it at the music school, but this still was teaching, right? And I liked Lucy and Julia a lot despite only knowing them for just a few hours. 

"I'll do it" I said. "I'll be Julia's teacher."

"Oh, perfect!" Lucy smiled. "When can you start?"

"Whenever you want. I have nothing else to do" I shrugged.

"Then tomorrow. I have to work, so maybe you could pick up Julia from school, bring her here and start your lessons? I'll pay you for that extra time."

"Ok" I nodded.

I had found a job, one that I liked, and one that was going to pay me handsomely judging by the numbers Lucy had mentioned while doing a draft of my contract. 

I was so busy thinking about all that, checking the details she had given me about Julia's school, that I hadn’t noticed the lift had made it to the lobby and the doors were open. 

“Are you going up again?” a male voice said.

“Uh?” I replied, lifting my eyes from my phone. And what did they see? The most handsome man you could ever imagine.

“Are you going up again?” he repeated.

“I…” I had forgotten how to speak. I may have not been wearing an ugly costume like Scarlett in one of the scenes where she met Chris Evans, but I had my jaw on the floor and definitely was making a fool of myself. “No” I finally managed to say.

“So… are you leaving, then?” he asked, trying to hide a smile.

“Yes” I said, still looking at him. Was he real? He was real. When he stopped the lift’s door from closing again, taking a step forward towards me, I saw that he was very real. “Thank you. Sorry. I’m leaving” I blurted out, my brain finally remembering how speaking worked. Kind of.

“It’s ok” he replied with a smile. No, not a smile. A smirk. One that made everything inside me turn upside down. “Bye” he said, walking inside the lift and letting go of the doors, disappearing behind them while I just stared. He must have thought I was stupid. A creep. Or both. But what else are you supposed to do when you find yourself face to face with the hottest man in planet earth?

“Miss, are you alright?” I heard Roger say from the door.

“Yes, yes. Just… Processing what just happened. That I got a job, I mean” I quickly added, noticing how he was arching an eyebrow, his eyes moving to the lift. 

“Oh, those are great news, miss. Congratulations.”

“Thank you. I guess you’ll be seeing more of me from now on.”

And hopefully, I would be seeing more of him too. Of the hot neighbour, my own Chris Evans. Though later on I would find out that his name wasn’t Chris, that would have been too much of a coincidence.

His name was Rúben. 

[batneko]

okay SO, childhood friends idea inspired by a suggestion from @hyperfixatingonbowuigisohard and the Yoshi's Island games. I still don't have a story exactly but I do have a lot of Thoughts.

Mario and Luigi are around three or four years old, old enough to talk but not to really articulate what's happening or how they're feeling. It's during a time when the parents think grandma is watching them and grandma thinks the parents decided to take them after all, and when they get home everything seems fine so the adults don't bother to compare notes. But we're getting ahead of ourselves.

Bowser is a couple years older, and small kids develop so fast that most wouldn't want to play with one much younger ("that's a baby!!!") but he's so desperate for a friend even close to his own age that he jumps at the change to spend time with this strange child that stumbled into his castle.

But... little Bowser has been so spoiled by Kamek and the other servants raising him that he has no idea how to play nicely. Luigi is terrified of him at first and starts bawling the moment Bowser "orders" him to play. For the first time in his short life, Bowser has a problem that can't be solved by yelling, crying, OR throwing things. He has to control his temper and learn to - what's it called again? - share.

Despite that the week that little Luigi spends with him is the happiest Bowser has ever been, and even that short amount of time has such an impact on his personality that he almost seems like a different person by the end. He accidentally bumps into Kamek and says "sorry" without being prompted and Kamek is so shocked he has to have a lie-down.

But at the end of that week, little Mario suddenly shows up with a pack of yoshis who seem to know where the boys belong, and Kamek knows it's not right to just keep a lost child. He also knows that there's no way Bowser is going to agree to let his first-ever friend go away and maybe never see him again, so Kamek smuggles Luigi out while Bowser is asleep and tells him his family came to get him. It's technically true.

Bowser is devastated. He screams, cries, throws things, and finally begs, but there's nothing anyone can do, Luigi is already gone. He's miserable for months, but eventually the sadness turns into anger. If his friend wanted to come back, why doesn't he?

Time passes. The memories fade. He's left with equal parts fascination by and resentment of humans, and the subconscious belief that if you give the people you love any chance to leave you, they will.

Meanwhile Mario and Luigi have gone home, and both of them are suddenly talking a lot about dinosaurs. That's not unusual, kids love dinosaurs, the parents figure they saw a cool book or movie with one of their cousins. But while Mario seems to think of dinosaurs as big animals that you run around with, Luigi keeps asking when he can go see "the dinosaur" again. He gets upset when his parents don't know what he means, but he keeps asking, again and again, for months. Every time they think he forgot he asks again, and no movie or museum visit or plush toy seems to be the answer.

He draws a lot of spiky green balls in this time. Eventually the parents decide that "the dinosaur" must be his imaginary friend and try to play along. It doesn't work, Luigi is still upset, but he's young and eventually he really does forget.

Years later family members will still sometimes bring up "Luigi's imaginary friend the dinosaur" as a cute anecdote. It's a little embarrassing, but he doesn't mind it too much.

And then it's twenty-plus years later and Mario and Luigi find themselves in a world that's full of adventure and magic and - yes - dinosaurs. There's a feeling of déjà vu but there are bigger things to worry about at the moment, and neither of them have any real reason to think they've been to this world before.

The first meeting doesn't go well. Bowser kidnaps Peach, the bros come to her rescue, and it ends in a big fight. Bowser does have a moment's pause when he first sees the bros, but Mario takes that opportunity to attack him and it's downhill from there.

There are several more clashes as time goes on. Sometimes it's just Mario, sometimes it's both of them, but after enough meetings people start to notice... Bowser controls his temper better around Luigi.

At first Mario thought it was just because Bowser hates him specifically, but no, other people have noticed it too. For some reason when Luigi is there Bowser is actually capable of showing restraint. Not even Peach brings that out of him. It's weird.

(Mario does wonder if Bowser kind of has a thing for his brother, but he can't bring himself to say it out loud.)

Luigi isn't scared of Bowser either, not the way he probably should be, given the whole giant monster/serial kidnapper thing. It's too awkward to ask Bowser why he's different around Luigi, but Mario asks Luigi why he's not afraid, and Luigi can't put his finger on it. He just Knows that Bowser is more bark than bite. He's not sure why.

So that's where things stand; Bowser and Luigi are both more comfortable with each other than anything about their personalities or situation seems to justify, and nobody knows why.

...Except Kamek who, as the only adult in the situation, figures out who the bros are almost immediately and promptly decides to Keep His Damn Mouth Shut. That reveal is not going to lead to good things for him.

[xoruffitup]

Hold On To Me Darling, Act 1

Hii and welcome to my HOTMD Act 1 run-down! This post is mostly intended for a) people who won't have the chance to see the play, and b) people who've seen it and would like to relive it!

I would NOT recommend reading if you have tickets for an upcoming performance, as I do include a lot of dialogue. I wouldn't want to spoil some of the best/funniest moments before anyone's first viewing, so be forewarned that what follows is extremely detailed!!!! I'm basically trying to recreate the viewing experience as much as possible for those it won't be accessible to. <3

(and let me give fair warning, this is only Act 1. I apologize for the cliffhanger but this was already so long, it was time to post!)

LET'S GO! :)

SCENE 1

Adam’s in black jeans, a dark blue henley with the top button open to show three necklaces underneath – one strung with a guitar pick – and a black cowboy hat. 

Open on Adam/Strings and his assistant, Jimmy, mid-conversation in a hotel room. Jimmy is attempting to show Strings a video on his phone “from those two girls you met last night – they just sent it.”

Strings, hands raised in front of him in disbelief/outrage: “I don’t give a damn who it is. What do you think my mama would think if she knew I was up here watching pornographic movies on your damn cell phone?”

Jimmy: “I just thought it would cheer you up, is all.”

Strings: “How in hell is that supposed to cheer me up?! I’m in mourning!”

Jimmy switches tactics, asks Strings if he wants a drink.

Strings: “No, I don’t want a drink, I want my mama!”

Strings proceeds to speed through a series of rants on a variety of topics, talking a mile a minute: how Strings is relying on Jimmy to keep the press at bay at his mother’s funeral; his lack of privacy; the declining state of American culture and its complete lack of boundaries.

Strings deflates into renewed misery as he reaches the end of his rant, claiming “This ain’t about me.” (Jimmy dryly remarks: “Kinda seems like it is.”) “No, this is about Mama, and making it up to her for all those wrong turns I took when she was here.” Adam usually grows emotional here, voice wavering and head tilting upwards as he fights off tears.

Jimmy briefly leaves him alone – just long enough for Strings to pick up a guitar, briefly attempt to play/sing something, only to throw the guitar to the floor and savagely stomp it to pieces.

Jimmy returns, mourns the mess. “Help me, Jimmy, I’m lost,” Strings pleads, unraveling. 

Strings briefly collapses onto a sofa, but a moment later, he’s off on the next mile-a-minute series of topics: how they can’t get his brother on the line about plans for their mother’s funeral because his brother has a landline and no call waiting “like primitive man.” Next, on to Strings’ determination to find his estranged father so he can attend the funeral. “If that bastard’s still breathing, I want him at that funeral.”

Each new rant seems to end with Strings only more morose and miserable, until Jimmy suggests, “How about a good rub down, you’ll sleep like a baby.” Strings agrees, though clearly his heart isn’t in it. 

Jimmy gets a phone call from the director of the movie Strings is currently working on (that “damn space movie”), which involves Jimmy speaking German and Strings saying “Guten tag” down the line in his Tennessee accent.

Then there’s a knock on the door – it’s the massage therapist Jimmy called for Strings. She begins setting up the massage table while Jimmy leaves the room. She introduces herself as Nancy, apologizes for being flustered and star-struck in front of him, then begins talking him through the “entirely unique” selection of massage therapies offered by the hotel. This is overwhelming to Strings, who becomes visibly emotional. Nancy asks him what’s wrong, he tries to say “nothing,” Nancy replies “Well crying is not nothing. Now let’s get those clothes off and you can tell ol’ Nancy all about it.”

And then, ladies and gentlemen, he proceeds to do just that!!!!!!!!!!!!! Strings strips off his shirt and pants, then lays down on his front on the massage table in just black boxer briefs.

Nancy is very much affected: “My goodness! Someone’s certainly been putting in their time at the gym!”

Strings, dismissive: “Not really. I got four trainers. I don’t do shit, I just lie there and let them move me around.”

Nancy, very much like she’s talking to a 6 year old: “Is it your trainers doing those reps? Is it your trainers burning those calories? Now, who’s doing those reps, who’s burning those calories?!”

Strings, face pressed into the massage table yet still managing to sound pouty,: “…..me.”

And THEN, ladies and gentlemen, Nancy proceeds to give Strings a massage, thoroughly and visibly massaging his naked back and even climbing up onto the table at one point on her hands and knees to work him over. A sheet covers him for part of this sequence, but there’s still so much arms and shoulders on display, dear lord!!

Strings tells her a bit about his mother and their fraught relationship, then rants a bit more about the trials of fame and how even though he feels like he’s met “every girl in the United States,” he’s never met one who sees him for himself. They only see him as “something” they’re after. “But I don’t want to be a something no more, I want to be a person.”

Conversation shifts to Nancy – he asks if she has a family (all while she continues massaging away). She does: a husband and two little twin girls. Even as Nancy talks about her family/husband, the tension begins ratcheting up between them as she starts massaging his lower back and thighs. (Nancy: “I love my husband and if there’s one thing I hate it’s disloyalty…. My god, these thighs.”) 

Meanwhile, Strings is essentially moaning at this point, as he leans up on his elbows on the massage table. (Yes this IS every bit as intense and unbelievable as you’re imagining – words cannot do this experience justice alkdfjaslkfj) He’s laying there shirtless, arms, chest, and shoulders fully on display, breathing hard, moaning, pushing his hair back out of his face, necklace chains jingling against his chest…. My GOD, dear reader, I’m about to pass out just trying to describe it!!!!

Nancy finally tells him he can turn over onto his back, but he hurriedly grabs the sheet to keep his waist/crotch covered and says he needs a minute. Sitting up, he asks her if they could just talk a while. 

Nancy: “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Strings, it’s a normal reaction.”

Strings: “Well… I ain’t embarrassed.”

Nancy: “Oh.”

The tension keeps ratcheting up even once Strings is dressed. Feeling what may be the stirring return of inspiration, Strings asks Nancy if she would sit on the couch for a moment while he plays “a little something” for her.

Nancy, increasingly flustered: “No, but I could sit there and die.” Raucous laughter from the audience as she rushes to sit down on the couch as instructed.

Strings again attempts to play a song. He gets a few bars in this time (with hilarious pauses as he keeps glancing at Nancy, then repeating the same bar), before again hitting the same emotional block. 

“My heart is broken,” he tells her, voice breaking too. He’s sitting on the sofa with the guitar in his lap, head bowed over the instrument.

“Oh Strings, you’re just about breaking mine.” 

Nancy reaches out to him. Kissing begins, then breaks off. Strings asks if she’s worried about her husband. No, her real issue is his rumored engagement to starlet Katie Crosby. He tells Nancy in no uncertain terms that the engagement was just made up by the press and he’s not involved with her anymore. 

At an impasse on what to do about their growing physical attraction and the attendant moral quandaries, Strings recalls Nancy mentioned that she plays the guitar. He asks if she would sing something for him. 

Nancy, while actively picking up the guitar: “Oh I could never sing in front of you!”

Seated next to Strings on the couch, she proceeds to sing a hilariously solemn rendition of Silent Night, even more hilariously accompanied by Jimmy, who appears out of nowhere in the doorway to harmonize with her. Strings stops her just before they reach “Sleep in heavenly peace,” saying: “I’m sorry, it’s just… them lyrics.” 

Nancy: “Oh my gosh, what an insensitive song selection!” She hurriedly lays the guitar aside.

Kissing begins again, followed by a few more interruptions. Moral scruples are again overcome when Nancy tells him “It’s just… I’ve had a crush on you since trade school, I can’t help how I feel.” Strings: “Eh, okay.” Then, when Strings mentions his mama as they’re kissing again, Nancy asks, “Oh, are you calling me your mama by mistake?” Strings: “What? No!! That’d be sick!”

But they’re back at it soon enough, and the scene fades to black as they at last commit.

SCENE 2

Adam’s in black jeans, an olive green button-up shirt, chains and hat again. 

Strings enters a cramped but cozy living room where his brother, Duke, sits watching TV. Strings is fielding calls from Nancy and Jimmy about the arrangements for Nancy to fly down for the funeral. Duke complains about the phone ringing off the hook, then they lapse into stilted conversation. First about a new planet that may or may not be discovered in the outskirts of the Kuiper Belt (Strings: “I ain’t really been following it that closely”), then about Duke’s current job. 

The atmosphere grows testy when Duke says Strings should “come down off your high horse and drink a beer with normal people every once in a while.” Strings takes offense to this, reminding Duke of when he once lent Duke money that has yet to be repaid. They agree they aren’t as close as they once were as kids, and that they have little to talk about these days. This leads to Strings confiding in Duke the plan that’s been growing in his mind: to “make a change,” move back to his hometown, and get a job at “Ernie’s feed store.”

Duke thinks this is nothing short of a ludicrous idea. “I think you’re cracking up if you’re thinking of working at the feed store. You’re telling me you’re gonna drag your world-famous ass to the feed store every morning like you ain’t the third biggest cross-over star in country music?!”

This leads to an argument about Strings’ work ethic, and Strings vehemently insisting to Duke that he works harder than anyone else in this town. (“I get up at 5 AM every morning of my goddamn life, when I’m filming! And when I’m on the road, boy you don’t even know what that’s like. If you think I got everything in life handed to me on a silver platter, you try coming along on one of them damn Japanese press junkets.”)

Cycling back to the feed store idea, Duke says, “In case you don’t remember, I worked there for two years after I quit school.”

Strings: “Course I remember, that’s what gave me the idea.”

Duke: “Well, let me just describe it to you, in case you go the wrong impression. Every morning, you gotta get up and go to the fucking feed store.” (Huge laugh at this every time.) “You gotta get there at 5, 5:30 AM, open up and stand there behind the counter while people asking for hog feed, chicken feed, cat food, pelleted horse feed, critter ritter crunch horse treats….” This list of increasingly ridiculous types of feed goes on for about a solid minute, and it’s literally one of the most impressive and hilarious moments in the entire show. I love every time CJ gets a round of applause for this entire spiel because he 1000% deserves it!!

Yet this fails to dampen Strings’ enthusiasm for his scheme, no matter how harebrained. “Ain’t gonna let you tear me down, Duke.”

They cycle through the topic of marriage, women, and the “bullshit” their mother used to give Strings over the women he dated. “Wasn’t all bullshit,” Strings admits, then tells Duke about Nancy, how he’s “never been with someone like her for more than a few hours at a time.” He opines on how she’s “Warm-hearted, simple, flexible, unambitious” and how she’s got him “hook, line, and sinker.”

Duke can’t resist asking about the alleged engagement to Katie Crosby. Eagerly shifting to sit on the arm of his easy chair, he asks: “Ain’t it true you broke it off, and she flew to Afghanistan to hand out buttons or what?” 

Strings: “No no, she was struggling for peace!”

Duke: “Getting her picture taken in one of them topless burqas?”

Strings: “It wasn’t topless, it was mesh, a fine metallic mesh! It was a statement of sexual enlightenment and solidarity with the women of Afghanistan!”

Duke: “Is it mesh even if you can see right through it?”

Strings: “If it’s finely woven!”

Strings again shuts down the Katie-engagement rumors and they focus again on the topic at hand: Strings possibly moving back home. 

Strings: “I’m gonna do it, Duke. I’m gonna be happy. Hell, I feel happier already.”

SCENE 3

Hold on tight to your armrests for this look: Black suit, white dress shirt with the top buttons undone, necklaces still visible underneath, black snakeskin boots and hat in hand. I swear he has never looked Lorger.

Strings and Duke step into a backroom at the church, seeing their mother’s casket for the first time. Jimmy comes in, telling Strings that family members at the funeral are asking for his autograph and that Jimmy’s collected their funeral programs. 

Strings is appalled – “they really want me to autograph my mama’s funeral programs?!” – and quickly sends Jimmy on his way. 

Strings complains to Duke about it, Duke quickly shuts him down, telling him they should focus on mama. Strings admits he was out of line. They share a hug before Duke steps out of the room.

Strings then fully notices for the first time that a young woman’s sitting in the room. He asks who she is, and she introduces herself as Essie.

Strings needs a minute to process this, then appears in disbelief. “You’re my cousin Essie? That little girl on the bicycle with the fringey basket going ‘scuse me!’ when there was never no one in your way? Well damn, you done grown up!”

They sit down together as Strings attempts to catch up with her on how she’s doing, but awkward moments ensue as she tells him both her father and husband recently passed away. She wrote Strings letters letting him know, but Strings “must have been on tour.” 

Strings: “That’s the worst thing I ever heard, losing both daddy and husband at the same time.”

Essie: “Yeah, well…. They were drag racing.”

Strings: “… they was drag racing each other?!”

Essie: “Daddy just loved drag racing. They ran each other off the road down that narrow pass.”

Strings: “… I wonder who was winning.” (Huge audience laugh)

Awkward catch-up now behind them, Essie tells Strings that she grew very close to Strings’ mother over the past year. Strings is surprised to hear this at first: “You didn’t find her too censorious?”

Essie: “She was never mean-spirited, just a little gruff. I don’t know how I would have gotten through the last year if not for her.”

Then follows the first time Strings ever really falls silent for any considerable period of time. He’s visibly both touched and shaken as Essie tells him about the days she spent with his mother, smoking cigarettes, baking pies, and talking the whole day long. (“We’d bake fourteen different kinds of pie.”) 

Essie also corrects Strings’ impression that his mother found him a terrible disappointment. She tells him how his mother had all of his records, how protective she always was of him, how “if anyone spoke harshly of you in front of her, they never did it again.”

Strings compulsively reaches to take her hand. “I can’t thank you enough for talking to me like this, Essie.”

Essie: “It’s a pleasure to talk with you, Strings, to be some comfort to you. I’m all alone in this world now and she meant a great deal to me.”

Their quiet moment is interrupted by Jimmy and Nancy, who just arrived straight from the airport. The tone of the scene immediately changes with Nancy’s arrival, as Nancy turns attention to how she would have preferred if Strings could have picked her up from the airport himself, and how she wishes she could have come into the church together with him because she “would have felt more protected.”

Strings gamely reassures her, and has Jimmy make room in the front family pews so Nancy can sit with him during the service. He then asks to be left alone with his mama for a few minutes.

Here comes one of the most moving and beautiful moments of the play. Alone in the room, Strings perches on a stool beside the open casket and, looking in, haltingly begins to speak. 

“Hey, Mama. It’s me, Clarence. I don’t know what to say…” (Pause as he begins to grow emotional. Usually one of his hands begins to clench and unclench in a fist, and you see his face begin to flush as tears slowly rise in his eyes.) “I know we didn’t always get along, but I always knew you were on my side. …. I’m helpless without you, Mama. How am I supposed to light my way through this terrible world?” 

At some shows, he’ll carefully reach into the casket at this point and adjust something inside, as if he’s straightening a blanket. Nancy enters again at this moment, asking if he’s ready. 

In my favorite performance yet, Adam was so emotional at this point that he had to reach for tissues from a box nearby and fully sobbed into the tissues a few times before he could face Nancy.

Nancy embraces him, then strangely (and hilariously) tries to reassure him: “You have to remember that you’re alive and she is dead.” He, through tears, gamely tells her he doesn’t know what he would have done without her these past few days.

SCENE 4

Adam wears the same on-fire suit look from the last scene

Essie’s living room – she’s just been woken by a late-night knock on the door. She hears, “It’s your cousin, Strings” from outside and lets him in. 

Enter Strings, a bit drunk and out of sorts. “I’m clear-eyed, I’m not a danger or nothing,” he assures her. “It’s just, I was at the Hyatt with Nancy and I didn’t have no one to talk to.” Huge laugh from the audience as Strings sits, struggling his way out of his suit jacket. 

Essie offers to make him some coffee, he agrees that would be a good idea. He ambles around her living room, commenting on a picture on the wall of Essie with his mother. He compliments her photography, saying, “I knew you had some talent in you, from the first time I saw you.” 

Strings soon descends back into grief, recalling with shame his initial feelings of relief upon hearing his mother had passed away. “I wish I was dead,” he despairs. 

Essie immediately comforts him, assuring him that these are normal feelings, that he’s not a bad person.

Strings scoffs at this, pointing out that he’s just left Nancy all alone in a strange city. 

Essie: “She’s a big girl, she’ll understand.”

Strings: “That’s what you think. Anyway. Fuck ‘er. (Huge audience laugh) I didn’t ask for her to stick her nose into my business, I don’t need that bullshit. All my life I’ve been looking for a girl like you, and look what I always end up with.”

Essie, caught off guard: “That’s a funny thing to say.” She stands from where she’d been kneeling beside where he sits on her sofa.

Strings, watching her with rapt attention and unable to help himself: “Man, you sure grown up pretty.”

When Strings stands and attempts to lean into her space, speaking more compliments about how there’s a “radiance” to her, Essie quickly deflects. She tells him he’s just worked up, “overwrought.”

“Never thought I’d find you in my own backyard,” says Strings.

Essie objects: “Stop it now, this isn’t your backyard. This is my living room. And I don’t believe you mean a word you say.”

Strings makes a few more charming come-ons, assuring Essie that he’s trying to change.

Then Essie delivers the line that always brings the house down: “That’s good and I wish you luck. Only… it’s 2 AM, and we’re cousins.”

Strings, after a long pause for laughter, waves his hand dismissively: “Distant cousins!”

Essie successfully wrangles Strings back onto the couch, then goes to fetch the coffee. She asks how he takes his coffee; he replies, “Black. Black as my fucking heart.” (Big audience laugh.)

Essie returns, carrying two mugs of coffee. When Strings tries to help her with the cups, some coffee splashes over the edge onto her hand. They both kneel down, rushing to clean it up.

Essie: “I think I burned myself.”

Strings: “Let me see. Yeah… it’s all red. (Dramatic pause as he holds Essie’s hand.) … Red like a rose in the shape of a hand.”

Once the ridiculousness of his comment passes, the air grows serious between them again. She stands, and he quickly follows, making an earnest appeal to her now.

Strings: “I live in a world with no real feelings at all. And that’s what I’m in need of now – and I think you are too.”

Essie rebuffs him, telling him firmly that it’s not fair for him to throw himself at her feet like this when he’s going to be leaving town with another woman in a matter of days. Strings relents: “I guess I’ve troubled you enough. Besides, Nancy is waiting for me.”

Essie: “Is it very serious between you two?”

Strings: “Feels about as serious as death.”

As he collects his suit jacket and moves towards the door, Strings says what he likes about Nancy is that “she’s real.” He mentions that she has two little girls (“Always wanted some kids. Maybe this is my chance to pick up a couple on spec.”) Just about ready to leave, he asks Essie if she likes kids.

Essie: “Of course I do, or I wouldn’t be a kindergarten teacher.”

Strings, rapidly coming back into the room again: “Is that what you do?!”

He plops right back down into a chair again, commenting that he could talk to her all night, and how good that feels. Essie says she’s glad for that, that she wants him to think of her as a friend.

Strings: “It ain’t easy thinking of you as a cousin, I’ll tell you that.”

Essie successfully corrals him back to the door, only for him to ask, “Will you shake hands with me, Essie?”

He holds on for a few extra beats, until she says, “Strings, you’re embarrassing me.” They lock eyes, neither of them let go of each other’s hands, and then they’re both leaning in at the same time. Almost just as soon as the kiss begins, Essie pulls away, hurrying to put distance between them.

Essie: “You have to go now, I mean it.”

Strings: “Please don’t send me away, think what I’m going through.” 

Essie: “I wish you’d think of what I’m going through. I find this very overwhelming.”

Strings: “I know, me too, darling. But ever since I saw you, sitting there in your little… funereal outfit… (Huge audience laugh every time) I felt a connection to you, and I think you felt it too.”

Essie objects that she’s concerned about how she’ll feel the next day if they give in to their attraction. She knows he’s leaving soon, and that it’s uncertain whether he’ll ever actually move back home like he said he might. She palpably begins to give in to her yearning, though, as she says, “If you only knew how lonely I’ve been.”

Strings approaches slowly, and this time she doesn’t step away. He reaches for her, and she doesn’t pull away as he slowly, tenderly cups her face. He gradually leans down. They kiss, once, twice, and then fade to black.

END ACT 1 

Soon to come: ACT 2!!!! :) Feel free to send me any asks or comments about Act 1! Obviously I'm more than a little in love with this play and it's literally my favorite thing to talk about!!! Hope to see everyone back here for the Act 2 play-by-play very soon!

[vvmylove]

Can you do a Gitae Kim vs kwak Jichang who will wins reader heart headcanon?

Who will win readers heart?

May contain some suggestive ideas

Gitae

Okay I can understand that he is hot and "oh please ruin my life," but I don't know much about him. He is very cold-blooded and won't hesitate to take another person's life for his own satisfaction.

He gives off the same vibes as Eugene💀.

Hear me out: You cannot tell me Gitae is bad in bed- is swear this man is aggressive and will use you- some people may be into that. I mean, I wouldn't mind being tossed around (by goo)

I have a sense that even though he may be boy trash(positive), he is very loyal and protective. Insane but in a positive way. He will kill for you, he will die for you, he will stay by your side no matter what.

Would come home after a long fight with flowers and a box of cigarettes talking about "Short-cake, I got ya my favorite beer (emphasis on HIS favorite) but you wouldn't mind it. He does seem like the type to rub your back afterwards.

Would drive you around in his little junk car he spent a fortune trying to fix while blasting music. He seems like a careless driver, but anything for the trill ya know! He would drive at night on the highway, blasting music as he slams his foot on the gas pedal. One hand will be on your thigh while the other on the steering wheel.

He is very carefree about things. It doesn't matter if you dress like a slut or go out in lingerie because this man can FIGHT. If any man looks your way, he will just throw some sort of weapon at him. There is no need for him to go over there and kick his ass when anything around him can be used as a weapon.

THIS MAN WILL SPOIL YOU! Doesn't matter if he doesn't have money, he will find and spoil you. Though, he wont put in much effort into spoiling you. He will just be like "take my card babe," while he goes to kiss Charles' ass.

This dude? WOULD RUN AWAY WITH YOU!! All you gotta do is say so and this man will sweep you off your feet and start walking out the door. He wouldn't mind living in a cabin, as long as you cook. Will hunt a bear with his bare hands.

Jichang

They say the guys with a J name will mess your life up, WRONG!!! (unless yall break up). this FINE MAN will treat you right. Yall already KNOW that this man is classy. Will treat you right. Very Loyal.

I lowkey feel like this dude has attachment issues. He can only focus on one thing (person) at a time. So you gotta make sure his eyes aren't on anyone else's.

Though, he would love spoiling you. He would put more thought into it, buying your favorite things. He would rent out a venue just because you said you wanted to dance, buying you an expensive dress that you saw on Pinterest, a display of food on the table as he stands there in his suit. "Princess, this is all for you."

He would make a house a home- you cannot tell me this man doesn't know how to cook. All you need to do is give him a recipe and watch him cook. He will pick you up by the waist and place you on the counter. "Give me a min hon," he says before placing a peck on the lips, then goes back to cooking.

WILL HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR YOU!!!! IDC IDC

Stares at you in awe all the time idc idc this man STARES at you.

He is the comforter, always comforting you. He will cuddle with you in his arms, play with your hair, feed you sweets, all while whispering cute little things in your ear. I fear this man loves romance a little too much.

WILL TRY TO GET INSPIRATION TO TREAT YOU RIGHT OFF TV SCENES. Hear me out. In a movie he will see some cringe kissing scene reenact it with you. Its more like, you both are on a date outside, walking by the beach, he would spin you around by grabbing onto your shoulder then kiss you. This cringe mf.

I got a lot of good things to say about this man idk hes just a lover.

I think it depends on the man you prefer. We are all delulu here. If you prefer a more insane and possessive (Gitae) or a more calm and classy man (Jichang).

[kitashousewife]

you & me

an: i feel like gojo needs a break every now and then!! the chance to relax and i feel like he should get spoiled too!!!

pairings: gojo x fem!reader

warnings: angst from gojo, stress, anxiety, sorcerer au but everyone is happy and alive, alcohol mention and consumption, food mention, suggestive content

-

gojo's head hangs over the back of his desk chair as he lets out a long, exhaustion-filled sigh. he sways back and forth slightly, eyes shut, trying to relax for a few minutes. if he's not teaching, he's somewhere around the world on a mission. if he's not doing either of those, he's lying awake in bed with a drumming heart and a hyperactive mind.

with you by his side, of course.

being the strongest has its perks, for sure. challenges that help him grow and improve, opportunities to see the world, as well as more than enough financial stability. it's quite nice to be at the top.

it's pretty lonely as well.

the demand of it all has begun to take a toll on gojo, both mentally and physically. his bones ache, and his muscles strain more than they have before. just this morning during his training with the second years, he allowed himself to get pinned rather quickly by maki in 30 seconds. his fingers shake no matter how much he eats or drinks. even in his late twenties, gojo feels almost triple that.

the mental effects are a whole other story. at this point, he hasn't slept in almost four days, not that he hasn't tried. gojo's usually sharp mind is exhausted during fights, hyper-focused, and completely used up by the end of the day. and, for the first time in his life, he feels anxious. constantly looking behind himself, checking the school cameras, and even begging to install stricter security on your shared home than you already have.

he exhales, opening his eyes. he just wants a vacation.

"i'm really sorry, but nobody else is available," principal yaga sympathizes over the phone. the end of your pen taps on your notebook while you think.

"nobody from kyoto? what about a team? i know it's important, but satoru is tired and-"

"i know he is," yaga agrees. "but i told you, i can't find anyone else. i'm afraid that this mission needs someone of gojo's caliber. unless a miracle happens, i can't guarantee any time off. i'm sorry, i really am."

you rub your eyes, nodding as you cross off yet another failed idea.

"no worries. thank you for trying though."

you hang up and groan. this is the fifth idea that you've come up with today. valentine's is only a couple away, and you want to plan something special for your boyfriend. he's clearly overworked, yet he never fails to spoil you. it's your turn.

if something could work, of course.

you think for a few more minutes before giving up. you rise from your spot at the kitchen table, shuffling towards the fridge. at least you could make some dinner before he gets home.

"hey sweetheart," gojo's very tired frame comes through the garage door.

dinner will have to wait.

"hi! i'm so happy to see you." you give him a large hug, and notice that he leans into you a bit more than normal. he's already out of his blindfold and uniform jacket, both thrown on the floor near his shoes.

"i'm happier to see you. how about we order pizza or something? don't worry about cooking anything tonight."

you smile. even with his fatigue, he just wants to make you happy.

"whatever you want, 'toru."

the evening feels short. after eating dinner together and watching a couple episodes of a show that neither of you really notices, gojo heads to take a shower. you hope to figure out more of the valentine's festivities before he comes out.

you think about surprising him at work. going there early, setting up some decorations and his favorite treats all nice before he arrives. it's a great plan, except he would notice you were gone.

you consider seeing a movie, maybe even the nice theater that opened up. much to your dismay, every show time is sold out.

you're about to try another theater when your phone rings.

"i'm so sorry for calling this late. do you have a few minutes?" it's yaga again. he only calls you if he can't get ahold of gojo himself. your stomach turns.

"don't apologize. and sure, is everything okay?"

he chuckles. "actually, yes. turns out the kyoto branch wants to handle it. they have a team that i'm fairly confident will be able to get the job done, and then some."

your turning changes to butterflies. "what are you saying?"

the smile in your voice must be evident, as he laughs again.

"i'm saying that you're clear. gojo won't have any missions for at least a couple weeks, so he's all yours."

you jump up and down a couple times. "oh, my gosh. thank you, so much. i can't thank you enough."

"don't mention it. he deserves it."

you end the call, running over to your laptop. you might be able to pull this off.

"what's got you so excited?"

"satoru!"

he grins from behind you. he knows how much you hate when he sneaks up on you.

"really though, everything okay?"

"yeah. everything is perfect."

you shuffle by him towards your shared bedroom. he raises an eyebrow. his lithe frame leans against the wall while you grab pajamas.

"you're hiding something."

"six-eyes tell you that?"

he snorts. "no, i just know you. tell me, pretty girl. what's going on?"

"you'll find out in a couple days!" you peck him on the lips and get into bed. he joins you with a shake of his head. for the first time in a while, gojo gets a few hours of sleep.

if someone was to win the world's most impatient award, it would be gojo satoru. you're happy that today is the day to finally spoil your boyfriend, but a large part of you is happy to be done with his prying.

you complete the finishing touches on your look, finalizing the plan in your head. thanks to some friends, you were able to get a table at one of the nicest restaurants in tokyo. five courses, dessert, everything is perfect. you will finish the night in a hotel, one that overlooks the city and is luxurious in every sense of the word.

"how do i look?"

you look at your reflection and see your boyfriend staring back at you. black glasses rest on the tip of his nose, and white hair falls around his face. he's in a simple black suit, and shiny dress shoes, complete with a pricey-looking watch.

"you look amazing, as usual. are you ready?"

a low whistle sneaks through his lips as you walk by him. blue eyes drag up your figure and gojo can't help himself. he grabs you by the wrist, pulling you into his chest with a coy smile.

"i'm sure we could spare a few minutes," he smiles wide now, keeping one hand on your waist as the other sneaks up to the zipper of your dress. you put a hand on his chest to push him back, and he pouts.

"we do not, 'toru. we need to go or you'll ruin the surprise. you sure you want that?"

he trails behind you with a whine. "i'm okay with the idea of it," he jokes, raising his eyebrows at you, but you shake your head.

"i'm serious, it's time to go!"

gojo's fingers pull at the drivers seat, but you wave him off quickly.

"what! at least let me drive," he pouts once again, and you giggle.

"you don't even know where you're going! it's not a far drive anyway, get in please!"

he gives up, finally letting you spoil him. he would never admit it, but he feels terrible he didn't plan something for valentine's day first. every year he's done something elaborate. trips, jewelry, booking entire restaurants, renting out entire beaches, anything flashy and loud to scream to the world that you're his. he can't help but feel a little down, though. gojo is nothing if not showy, especially when it comes to you.

the drive is relatively short. traffic in the city gives the two of you time to catch up. gojo shares about his students, marveling at their rapid growth and mastery of their own techniques. the way he lights up when sharing stories of their success warms your heart.

this is the gojo that you know. the man who would do anything for those he loves. the man who would drop everything he's doing to go do something absolutely mundane with you. the man who sacrifices everything to make sure everyone important to him is safe.

"we're here," you announce quietly, voice trailing off with the nerves. you pull the car up to the valet, and gojo is quick to leap out of the car as soon as you park. he opens the door for you with a grin, helping you out and sliding his arm around your waist.

"wow baby," he eyes the restaurant. he's never told you, but he's spent about six months on the waitlist for this place. 'how'd you score this?"

"i have my ways," you smirk. if he's impressed now, you can't wait for him to see what's in store.

gojo watches as you whisper with the hostess, quirking a brow as they scurry back quickly. he's even more surprised when what looks like the owner of the restaurant gives you a hug. soon, you motion him over with a big smile. he points at himself, mouthing a cheeky me? to which you roll your eyes.

gojo follows you, holding your hand as the two of you are led throughout the entire restaurant. dozens of couples dine together, laughing and carrying on with looks of love and adoration. it only makes gojo more excited, especially since the two of you are going further and further away from the crowd.

"here we are," your friend motions towards a small round table, adorned with champagne flutes, plates, and a bottle ready on ice. gojo pulls your chair out for you, kissing your cheek before sitting down. what's even better, is that this table is the only one in the room. "the first course should be out in about fifteen minutes or so. until then, enjoy yourselves."

you nod to your friend as they exit, before turning to your lover.

"oh my god baby," gojo looks around the room, eyes sparkling from the light of the candles that surround you. "what, i mean, how?"

your cheeks heat up, and he takes your hand in his.

"i know how busy you've been, how hard you're working, and i wanted to make this special. besides, you're always doing something for others, especially me," you squeeze his hand. "it's time i take care of you for once."

maybe it's the lighting, the way that you look tonight, or the overwhelming feeling of being taken cared of and loved, but gojo can't help but feel emotional. he looks at you, eyes full of adoration, and he laughs to himself.

"i love you. so much. i don't deserve you."

you shake your head at that.

"you deserve everything good, satoru. i mean that, with my whole heart."

he kisses your knuckles. "i love you more, my perfect girl."

he stands up and checks his watch before walking towards you. he knees to your height, kissing you softly on the lips. your lips move with his, gasping when his hand smooths over your thigh and tongue swipes at your lips.

"we have about ten minutes left," he breathes on your lips and your breathing quickens. his other hand moves up your calf, under your dress before sliding up your thigh.

"how about i show you just how much i love you, my angel?"

[kiyoitiepie]

My Favorite BL Dramas of 2023

happy new year to everyone who uses the gregorian calendar. we had so much good content come out this year. i'm gonna list my favs. please remember these are my personal faves and may be objectively terrible. do not be alarmed.

My Beautiful Man S2 and Movie

If you ask me this series is one of the best bls of all time. idc idc. im a hira and kiyoi girlie through and through. how many bl's do you know with 2 seasons and an original movie. not those repackaged ones that they try to hand feed us. an actual movie with a plot???? the bar is on the floor clearly. but hira and kiyoi are gonna surpass that bar every. single. time.

Love Tractor

I didn't hear enough people screaming about Love Tractor. crickets tbh. Which is blasphemous in my opinion. How could you be quiet when this lovely bumbling himbo with the dopiest grin is on your screen? look at him!!

Eighth Sense

10's across the board. No question. No notes.

this scene^ BROKE me

Our Dining Table

Ok hear me out. I didn't think this was the best bl in the world BUT it was so wholesome that it deserves a spot. top tier comfort show. It got me through many bad days. Admittedly, there were a few times I purposely put it on bc i knew it would put me to sleep. please don't jump me.

Unintentional Love Story

Now...I'm not a huge kbl person. However, this was really nice. Had a solid plot. I don't remember much abt it but I know there was pottery and I had a good time

Only Friends

This was culture. This was a movement. I will never forgive them for how they treated Boston. Even still, I was there every week ready for the chaos. I had the time of my life.

Bed Friend

It's hard to believe this came out this year. Like ??? But really that shows how much I've established this show as a classic in my mind. BED FRIEND? UEA? baddest bitch in the land?? KING? greenest flag out there???? (debatable but for the sake of my argument lets pretend). It had every element. good plot, great visuals, a little heat. like come on who else is doing it like them?

i just know if me and uea were ever in the same room he would judge me so much

Dangerous Romance

I've seen mixed reviews on this one but I had a fun time. Kanghan is a prissy little spoiled brat, but he's my prissy little spoiled brat. I loved their story progression. Which is saying a lot for me bc I don't like enemies to lovers. like why are we fighting? also "i'm an introvert" is the funniest shit i've heard all year.

La Pluie

this was so shockingly good i wish it got more attention. iqiyi in general really did their big one this year. when it rains you can only hear your soulmate? love!

Laws of Attraction

this was a rollercoaster. i started watching ironically because i thought it would be terrible when i saw the mc go super saiyan. that shit is still hilarious idc.

Love Syndrome III

Now before we start throwing tomatoes...let's hear me out. Nothing has caught my attention this year the way this series did. This was another series I was watching ironically until suddenly i wasn't. It's also just so funny that they released the third one without dropping a first or second. but bad bitches don't need to explain themselves. and YES love syndrome is a bad bitch. let's stop acting like we watch bl's solely for the quality. i don't need marvel cgi to have a good time. sometimes a dollar store wig and the most toxic couple you've ever seen is enough to make some shit shake. if this was released during the tharntype era??? oh bitches would've ate it up. HAPPILY. rant over.

Last Twilight

it's good man. what more can i say? i hope it doesn't disappoint me in the end.

Pit Babe

i'm very pleased. very much so. i know alot of folks went into this show expecting a little teehee. to laugh at the omegaverse racecar show. NOT ME. i've waited for this moment. and anyone who's seen me screaming in the tag can attest. this is a game changer. not just for bl but the fandom community at large. and don't even get me started on their chemistry. babe's smile whenever he's around charlie?? mama and papa?? MAMA AND FUCKING PAPA?? we deserve this and i will bask in it for as long as I can. jeff had better be pregnant by the end of the show.

^ that’s his charlie smile 🥲

[befuddled-calico-whump]

Total $hit$how: Hand Me My Shovel

in which Joy has some strong opinions

cw: referenced violence, death mentions

previous // masterlist // next

×~×~×

Joy’s meeting with Sahota had felt a lot like treading water; expending a shit ton of energy and still going nowhere. The others hadn't fared much better. Kaius seemed more sour than usual on his return, and Benji came back from his hour half an hour early. Harbor hadn't come back at all. She'd almost been afraid the morale would slip completely after the bout of failures, but she should've known she could count on Jer to save the day.

“How'd you do it?” It was the number one question on her mind as soon as she’d caught the look of quiet triumph on his face. He might as well have lassoed the sun.

Jericho took a seat across from her. Training had dissolved into lunchtime not long after he’d left, and Joy’d gotten lost in her own thoughts and lingered in the kitchen even after the other two had gone back to the mats.

Hi mouth tightened at her question. “I guess… I convinced him we could help.”

A fair strategy, but it felt like there was more to it. “What did you say?”

“I'll tell you later.” His voice dropped. “Joy, I think we should talk about something.”

Oh she did not like that tone. One syllable in and she knew something was wrong. “What is it?” she asked carefully, casting a habitual glance over her shoulder. No one in the kitchen, no one in the hall.

“It’s Harbor,” Jer replied, glancing down at the table, eyes on his clasped hands. “He… he hurt Sahota. Pretty bad.”

“What?” She felt her brows knit together at his words. “How bad is pretty bad?”

“He started…” Jericho exhaled, paused as if considering something. “I don't know the extent. He was pretty beat up when I got there. Seemed like he was in a lot of pain.”

“Fuck.” Was that why Harbor hadn't come back once his time was up? She'd thought nothing of it until now; he didn't like hanging out with the group, and was all scowls and bitey comments when he was forced to. Nothing new there, but beating up Sahota? That was lower than she'd thought he'd stoop. Did he resent losing the fight on day one? Was he trying to prove something?

“Are you going to tell anyone else?” she said at last.

Jer shook his head. “No, not… not yet. We're supposed to work together. We don't need any more of a rift between us and Harbor.”

“We also don't need a bully on the team,” Joy said. One bad apple would spoil the mission. She didn't want to have to worry about looking over her shoulder whenever Harbor was around.

“I don't know the full story,” Jericho said. “I think we should talk to him about it before jumping to any conclusions—” 

“I trust everyone had a productive training day?” Vic’s voice seemed to come out of nowhere, and Joy nearly jumped out of her skin.

Shit, how much did he hear?  The thought was instinctive, another habit from making quiet deals and trying to keep out of trouble. She felt she should laugh at her paranoia, especially regarding this, but didn’t it make sense?

Vic was good at acting friendly, but in the last three days alone he’d encouraged them to kill a stranger and watched his partner’s torture as casually as he would a popcorn flick. She had the feeling he’d be quicker to encourage Harbor’s violence than put a stop to it, and that was the last thing they needed.

“I heard Sahota let you all dabble in interrogation,” Vic said, striding into the kitchen. “Did you have fun?”

“I wouldn't call it that,” Joy said, shifting in her chair.

“That's life for you. Never as interesting as the movies.” He took a seat at the end of the table, steepling his fingers. “I understand you made a wager on behalf of Rebecca Finley.”

Sahota’s deal. She’d gotten so wrapped up in the Harbor bullshit she’d forgotten what they’d won.

“Unfortunately, said wager was made without my knowledge,” Vic continued, “and can't be honored in either direction.”

Her mouth was open before she could stop herself. “What? You can't—”

“Cavan.” His tone was a warning, like a rattlesnake shaking its tail, and Joy snapped her mouth shut, clenching her teeth together to keep the words in. The evening meeting where he'd shown them the video was still sharp in her head. Vic could be real fucking mean when provoked. He was a little too similar to some of the army sergeants she'd known in that way, and that wasn't a fact to be proud of.

“As I was saying,” Vic said, “I'm vetoing the deal you made. However, in an effort to reach a compromise, we will be going with a third option instead of either extreme. Finley's off the menu. No more energy will be wasted on deciding what to do about her; we'll just bypass the matter entirely.”

But we earned it.

With the effort of pushing back the sea, Joy managed to bite her tongue. Jericho had earned it, and he hadn’t said a word. Better not to provoke another shouting match with Vic. She knew she wouldn’t come out on top.

“Is that all you have to tell us?” she muttered, unable to keep the irritation out of her voice.

“What are we doing instead?” Jericho asked at the same time, his tone considerably more reasonable than hers.

Vic inclined his head towards Jer. “In the last hour, I've been scouting new assignments,” he replied. “I'm pleased to say I came out the other end with a task for each of you.”

Joy crossed her arms, pressing clenched fists into her sides. Okay, this was good. As long as she was beholden to Vic’s will, she’d better be getting shit done.

“I’ve already spoken to Mr. Manak and Mr. Ruebin. They'll be leaving tomorrow morning to search Finley's drop site for relevant intelligence.”

Her knuckles pressed in deeper, and she had to fight to keep a neutral tone. “Didn't you just say she was off the menu?”

Vic chuckled, and she couldn’t help but think he was entertained by her frustration. Why? Because she couldn’t protest without being threatened with jail time?

“Finley is,” he said. “Finley’s stuff is another matter. Mr. Davis, you and Mr. Harbor will be using my computer to access anything you can on Rotorworx. With your combined skills, you should be able to find weaknesses in their website. Get us some usable information if you can. And Miss Cavan.” His eyes landed on her. “You'll be accompanying Sahota on an expedition of sorts. I've located one of Rotorworx's old project sites. There may be residue there that can clue us in on the Reality Cage.”

Finley could’ve clued them in on the Reality Cage, if Vic wasn’t so hell-bent on doing things his way.

“Okay,” she said, still rigid in her seat. “Cool. Where is he?”

“He’s resting,” Vic said.

She and Jericho shared a glance. Bet he was. The one bright spot here was that the assignments had been divvied up in such a way that Harbor and Jer were paired together. If there was any sense, any fucking decency left in the guy, Jericho could bring it out. If not… Maybe he and Vic were just cut from the same cloth. And in that case, she wanted nothing to do with him.

“I expect you both to tackle your taskings first thing in the morning,” Vic said, getting to his feet. “Rest while you can. It’s imperative we don’t waste another day.”

With that, he left.

Joy slouched back in her chair as soon as his footsteps had faded, looking up at the ceiling. “Guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“He has a plan in mind,” Jericho said. “If he thinks Finley is a waste of time—”

“So what if she is? He can’t just snatch that away.”

“He’s in charge.”

“So is Sahota. Doesn’t he get a say?” She huffed, letting her arms drop to her sides. “What if this keeps happening? The whole ‘my way or the highway’ thing?” She shot a sharp look in Jericho’s direction. “What if it gets one of us killed?” She’d dealt with bad leadership before. Experience didn’t mean shit if you weren’t willing to choke down your ego and listen to your troops.

“I don’t think it’ll go that far,” Jericho said quietly. She wondered if he was trying to convince himself.

“He was fine abandoning Sahota. What if next time it’s one of us on the screen?”

Jericho winced. “I don’t think there’s anything we can do about it.” He let out a sigh, tapping the back of his hand. “It’s just this one mission, then we’re done. We won’t have to deal with it anymore.”

She knew he was right, but it still felt like the wrong call. “Is it worth it? What if we end up with another Finley, but he makes us go through with the murder part? Is it worth it?”

He was looking at his hands again. “What about the Cage? This mission isn’t just for us. People are in danger.”

“I know, just…” She clenched her jaw. “Maybe we can do it without them?”

“Joy…”

“We could.” Just her and Jer could do it. Sneak out of here and break the dangergate before things went south. Benji would probably get in on it too, maybe even Manak. Then they could do things her way. They had a location. All they really needed was a crate of C-4 and a description of the Reality Cage.

But Jericho was shaking his head. “I can’t,” he said. “I can’t take that risk based on a maybe. If we leave, we’re still on the wanted posters. I can’t run forever.”

Her burst of rebellion deflated as quickly as it had risen. He was right. She couldn’t ask him to put his kid on the line like that, and even if she was acting alone, she still wanted to see her family again someday.

“Okay,” she said, nodding. “Okay.” The kitchen fell silent. No distant footsteps, no brilliant new ideas. They were stuck following Vic’s orders. She just had to hope he’d keep them in the realm of sanity.

“So,” she said, once again slouching in her chair. “Harbor.”

“Harbor,” Jericho echoed.

“Should we talk to him now? Before tomorrow?”

“I don’t know,” Jer answered. “I don’t think so.”

“No?”

“I think he might see it as an attack. I think… I should just try to bring it up naturally.”

“It should feel like an attack,” Joy protested. “He did something wrong, and he needs to know it.”

“I don’t know,” Jer said again. “I think he… I don’t know, there’s something not adding up with him. It doesn’t fit.”

“Maybe he just hates Sahota,” she offered. “He was the only one who voted against the rescue.”

Jericho shook his head. “I don't think he meant to take it as far as he did. Maybe something set him off.”

And that was just what they needed on the team, someone with an unpredictable temper. Harbor was already hard enough to work with.

“That's no excuse,” she said.

“Let me try tomorrow, okay?” Jer replied, giving her a sincere look. “If it goes bad, we’ll confront him together.”

If it went bad, she wanted him gone. Sure, the guy had psychic powers or whatever, but that didn’t excuse any of his bullshit. If he wound up going overboard and hurting anyone else, she’d take care of him herself.

“Okay,” she said. 

“And speaking of…” He gave her a curious look. “You'll be with Sahota tomorrow.”

“Yeah?”

“Can you…” Jer grimaced. “Can you try to check on him? See how he's doing?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Because that went so well last time.”

“This is different.”

“Different how?”

“He…” There was that hesitation again, like Jericho was about to drop some big reveal but thought better of it at the last second. “He seemed upset,” he said.

“Sahota was upset?” She frowned. “Like… he was mad?” Hell, she would be too.

“More like… sad,” Jericho said. “Overwhelmed. I don't know.”

Sahota and sad just didn't compute. Overwhelmed, she could understand, but sad about what? Harbor? The failures of his trainees? Based on everything she'd seen from him so far, it didn't make sense.

“Can you do it?” Jericho said, giving her what could only be described as puppydog eyes. "See if he's okay? Tomorrow?”

Joy sighed. Taserbot mazes she could handle. Lab expeditions, she could handle. Feelings? That's where things got dicey. But despite her own reservations, she nodded. “Tomorrow.”

×~×~×

@theonewithallthefixations , @violets-whumperflies , @whump-me , @pirefyrelight , @soheavyaburden , @snakebites-and-ink ,

@sodacreampuff , @starfields08000

@whumpsday , @kixngiggles , @echo-goes-aaa , @whumpcateyes , @clickerflight ,

[ckret2]

Your goldilocks cipher stuff gives me an unreal amount of dopamine (maybe i just like bill a lot idk) do you have any fun tidbits and details about the au that wouldn’t be too spoilery?

Thank you!! Here's a bunch of random trivia:

The (English) name of Bill's language's written script is Plaintext. Like, y'know, plaintext:

In cryptography, plaintext usually means unencrypted information pending input into cryptographic algorithms, usually encryption algorithms. This usually refers to data that is transmitted or stored unencrypted.

Which is ironic, since Bill's the ONLY person to whom the text is unencrypted. But then, from his perspective, it's the only "unencrypted" text he ever actually sees—all the languages he uses in day-to-day life are foreign languages to him.

In the Bill Cipher AMA, somebody asks Bill what he thinks about all the fangirls he has, and Bill says they should all go to the Nevada desert and assemble a throne to wait for him. In fic, I've decided it'd be funny to give him a women-only cult in Nevada. The leader of the cult is named Mary and the underling most often referenced is Sue, because—and I say this with love and affection—if "fangirl who's put in a fic so she can meet her favorite tumblr sexyman" ISN'T a textbook Mary Sue, I don't know what is.

Bill really likes monster trucks. He's convinced himself that he'd be a TERRIFIC monster truck driver, because he can see the future, so obviously he'd know how to avoid any car crashes. He's probably wrong about this. It's a more physically taxing job than you'd think, and a human body is more easily taxed than he's used to.

Current favorite human food is nachos with sprinkles on top. Gotta be triangular nachos. If the chips are circular or rectangular it will legit depress him. Also plain old cheese is boring, give it some texture, it's gotta have peppers hot enough to kill a toddler.

Sometimes Bill talks to Waddles as if he's speaking to the Temporarily Genius Waddles and expects him to understand what Bill's saying.

If Bill's watching a show/movie and doesn't want to spoil the ending for himself he has to fight NOT to glance into the future to see what happens. Imagine if every time you read a comic book, all of the pages automatically separated and spread out across the table so you could see every page at once, and you had to keep resisting the urge to glance at the last page to see what happens. That's what trying not to glance forward is like for Bill.

Nobody's commented on this yet, so idk if anyone's caught it, but in chapter 2:

He carefully positioned himself directly in front of the trio, glancing down at the floor as if looking for the right mark to step on,

and in chapter 3:

Mabel considered his feet thoughtfully before spray painting an X where she estimated he’d been standing before.

“You got lucky—” he cast a dirty look at the X spray painted on the ground, “—but luck changes.”

In chapter 2 Bill saw the X on the floor in the future, and assumed he was going to leave it for himself so he'd know where he should stand for his big dramatic moment—which means he deliberately planted himself RIGHT on the mark where the twins were set up to tackle. (Even though he can see into the future, his time vision is pretty near-sighted.)

Bill NEARLY invaded the M Dimension mentioned in Journal 3—he was playing "muse" to a whole bunch of scientists and governmental types who were all collaborating, everybody liked him, nobody suspected anything, they were thrilled by the idea of opening up interdimensional travel to his totally-harmless-and-not-at-all-nightmarish realm so their muse could visit... the only reason he hasn't already conquered the M Dimension is because everything there, even the laws of physics, are based on the letter M, and for the life of him he couldn't find a way to adapt the portal blueprints to work there. The math's impossible.

Bill's the only member of the Henchmaniacs who's unable to leave the Nightmare Realm. (As in, physically can't leave. Legally, most of them are pretty trapped there for lack of another safe place to go; but like they could leave if they chose to.) Sometimes he sends his Henchmaniacs on errands for him to other dimensions; and sometimes they go on day trips outside the Nightmare Realm without him. When they leave he tends to sulk and insist he isn't sulking.

Nobody in the shack knows about Ford's embarrassing neck tattoo. (And it was REALLY hard keeping that secret on a boat.) Nobody, that is, except for Bill, who spent last summer stalking everyone in the shack and who can see through walls, seeing through a turtleneck is nothing. Someday he's gonna start casually humming All Star and strike terror into Ford's heart.

There's a handful of human languages Bill can't speak because the speakers cursed him to be unable to speak them. I don't know which languages yet, I'd probably need to do a lot of digging to find languages about which there's already "demons/monsters/etc can't speak/understand this language" folklore I can slap on him. But it's a joke I'm prepared to use if I find a language that fits.

Bill thinks it's weird that humans want their hands and hair to smell like food, but then don't even want to eat them. What's the point of strawberry-scented shampoo???