#if anyone has been on here for 11+ years and knows what i'm talking abt lmk bc i know im not crazy

[muttmedley]

just saw a commercial that reminded me of some dumb shitpost comic on here from like the early 2010s that i can never find but i swear existed

*** edit ***

it has been found lol

[multiplicity-positivity]

Heya! I hope you're having a great day! I saw in your askbox guidelines that you're open to advice asks so I thought I'd drop by but please delete this if you're uncomfortable! I know this is a MASSIVE ask so I really will not be offended if you don't want to answer. Para in this context is meaning another character in my paracosm that I interact with instead of being. If anyone else sees this and wants to add their own opinions in the notes, please do!

I'm really struggling to figure out if I'm plural so I thought I'd get your opinion (/nf) given I've been using the resources off your blog for months LOL. I have a potential headmate who was originally a maladaptive daydreaming para. This para would be a fictive from a popular game. He follows the same archetype I've latched onto for paras since I was little & has told me he sees the other characters as similar to him when asked. I've been daydreaming since I was 4ish, he has been my para since I was 11. I'm currently 17. I'm going to bullet point real quick to stop it being an absolute wall of text! Reasons I have to believe he might be a headmate:

He often expresses different opinions to me or interest in different topics.

He seems to generally know almost all of what's going on/what has happened, but sometimes asks me to remind him or explain something (moreso for stuff several years back).

His voice sounds different in the internal monologue.

I think I've sensed him watching what I've been doing in the past & possibly felt him be triggered by stuff relating to his source.

One of the times he interacted unprompted was due to me being very negatively triggered.

He has gender dysphoria (see the bit below).

He's nothing like me identity wise. He's middle-aged and a cis guy and I'm fairly certain he has a different sexuality.

Reasons I doubt him:

He only speaks once prompted or once I think about him passively, excluding a couple of rare occasions. I very rarely hear from him unprompted at the moment unless I'm stressed.

He has never fronted fully. We might've switched once or twice in the past (though it was more co-fronting). It normally feels like the internal monologue switching to be his in the front & mine in the back. I'd say the terms non-possessive & monoconscious would be most fitting. I think us being able to switch on demand that early though feels wrong - though we can't always. Oh adding it here as it connects but not as a point against him: these 'switches' are sometimes accompanied by gender dysphoria, though I'm genderqueer anyway. His dysphoria is more for being male though (I actually realised I wasn't cis because of him abt 3 years back!).

I can talk to any fictional character I've engaged a lot with due to maladaptive daydreaming. I'm nervous I'm just daydreaming him tbh or forcing his responses bc sometimes he merges with my daydreaming and the lines blur.

I had a past episode where I thought I was a system a few years back but that was unrelated to him (though he was an 'alter' in that) and totally ungrounded in anything LOL.

As far as labels go, I think we might be median?? Perhaps OSDD but unlikely. I got a 35.7 on the dissociative experiences scale denoting OSDD but I got 21 on the MIID (though that felt heavily geared towards aggressive and/or childlike alters imo). I promise I'm not looking for a yes or no or a diagnosis or anything! Just any general opinions/pointers/advice you've got. It's good to hear the opinions of outsiders sometimes. Don't feel pressured to say yes either, I won't feel invalidated if you're like "urmm no that's definitely something else" because it very possibly is! If anyone else sees this and wants to add their own opinions in the notes, please do! This is all /nav /lh

hey, so we (and anyone else, really) can’t confirm or deny whether or not you’re plural. in the end, it’s going to be something you have to figure out or decide for yourself(ves). no one knows you better than you know yourself, after all, especially not people online.

plurality is an at-will label that anyone at all can use if they feel like it fits for them. it’s a label you can put on and take off at your own discretion as it works for you. if you feel plural, you’re welcome to call yourself plural, and you belong in the community just as you are. if you ever realize and decide that you’re not actually plural in the future, no harm done. it’s okay to question, and it’s okay to be wrong. it’s all a part of learning and growing as a person.

it is totally possible for someone with maladaptive daydreaming to consider the beings from their daydreams as headmates. in fact, paragenic as a term refers to systems whose plurality originated from madd or some other form of immersive daydreaming.

switching is not a requirement for plurality. our partner system is plural, and they do not switch at all. having imaginary friends or talking to characters in your mind doesn’t always have to be a plural experience, but it definitely could be. it all depends on your comfort level and how you and your potential headmates choose to identify. you very well could be a median system, if you feel like that label works for you.

as far as osdd goes, we will say that complex dissociative disorders (like did and osdd) do often arise from a history of repeated childhood trauma. these disorders form by helping children dissociate or disconnect from overwhelming stress or painful situations as a method of survival. it is absolutely possible to be plural or a system without a complex dissociative disorder, but it is not possible to develop a cdd without a history of repeated trauma in childhood.

if you suspect that you may have osdd, we can’t stress enough the importance of seeking outside help, preferably from a understanding, trauma-informed therapist or counselor. while we do believe it is possible and sometimes necessary for individuals to self-diagnose, healing from the complex trauma that accompanies dissociative disorders like osdd may require some form of outside guidance and/or support.

we’ll leave you with this post we have with resources for questioning systems. if you’ve been following us for a while, you’ve probably already seen it, but we’re sharing it anyway.

and of course, if anyone reads this who has advice for anon, you’re welcomed and encouraged to share :)

discovering and coming to terms with potential plurality can be a difficult, lengthy process. please don’t rush yourself on this journey, and give yourself space to breathe and process as you try to come to a conclusion about whether or not you’re a system (or a member of one). we’re always happy to help however we can if you have any more questions throughout this process and beyond. best of luck to you :)

[whenwillderekhalebehappy]

so i just started playing fallout 4 ,,, here are my preliminary opinions

- lame storyline, i don't want to be married heterosexual. idc abt this fuckass baby either.

- fr tho, it feels like the devs just chose the most generic backstory they could think of so they could get that part out of the way. it's not interesting or good. moreover, if that actually happened to a person, they'd be traumatized and terrified, not running around looking for guns and stimpaks. like, it feels like my character doesn't even give that much of a shit that this happened. like ooh the world ended, my wife was murdered, my infant child was kidnapped, it is 200 years in the future, but yeah no i don't have any questions, ill just roll with it. LAZY WRITING!

- also: how does the survivor know that his baby is still alive. the story has him frozen, unfrozen to witness murder and kidnapping, frozen again and then unfrozen to start the game. how am i supposed to know when that kidnapping happened? like yeah it could've been recent but it could also have been 100 years ago.

- upon exiting the vault you immediately start like 11 quests. why?? for what reason?? i just got here??

- do not love that feral ghouls will just lay on the ground waiting for you to get close enough so they can attack you. 1. its annoying, you get ambushed every time. 2. why would they be doing that, are they sleeping? waiting? doesnt make sense for them to be doing either of those things. they're feral, they wander around attacking whatever comes near them, they don't lie down and wait for prey, thats just ,,, not how they work?

- i especially dont like that the ghouls also dont show up as hostile on the little navigation bar until they get up. the whole point of that is so i know if there's hostiles in the area. if all the hostiles just sneak up on you, there's no reason to look at it.

- the fact that you can just max out your SPECIAL stats kinda defeats the purpose of those stats. the point is that it allows you to pick strengths and weaknesses for your character, instead of it being skills you can learn. it adds difficulty and personalization.

- i genuinely don't like the "improved" graphics. maybe its because my pc is shitty and i have to run low quality, but i cant see shit. especially all the harsh shadows make it really hard to gauge depth and to see things on the ground (like feral ghouls waiting to attack you).

- why is VATS under Q. thats dumb

- follow up: why are we now using the enter key and arrow keys in addition to wasd. let me keep my hand on the mouse instead of constantly having to switch (update: after 10 hours in-game i found out you can also press E, still stupid)

- why cant i just go up to people and ask them shit. why do i have to wait until they want to talk to me.

- i do like the whole settlement building thing. ive been having more fun with that than anything else tbh

- it is nice that you can make radaway and you dont have to rely on scavenging or bartering for it

- they are harsh on the raiders. like i get that they're enemies but labelling them 'raider scum' is a bit much. like thats still a person.

- in the intro thing they say war never changes at least 3 times. i get it. dont overdo it.

- also in the intro, they just say the US ended ww2 by dropping the bombs on hiroshima and nagasaki which is a VERY BOLD statement about history.

- i've barely encountered anyone who's nice. ive met preston and his friends but beyond that its basically been nothing but raiders. where are the friendly npc's? it makes the whole world feel hostile and empty

- the variety of weapons and mods is ,, actually a little too much. i don't know the difference between a pistol and a revolver, let alone what a receiver is. the game kind of expects you to just , understand what all these things mean and how to best modify your weapons. I don't. i barely know what i'm supposed to be looking at. "um yeah i definitely prefer the hardened enhanced glowsighted tempered auto pipe revolver pistol over the hardboiled standardized incendiary double barreled shotgun rifle" <- statement dreamed up by the utterly deranged

- recently encountered super mutants, why do they yell at you that they are super mutants. i know that. i mean, the character technically doesn't since no one's bothered to explain all the new creatures to him, but still.

anywho, ive only been playing for a week or so, so there might be more redeeming qualities later on. but so far im not very impressed

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey. I’m not sure if i need advice or if i just need to vent but i’m pretty angry and you’re really good at listening to random people talk abt their problems. (Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes)

So i had to to work the evening shift both days this weekend, and because of my particular brand of anxiety, i cant really do anything leading up to my shift. Like i get super nervous that i’m going to forget abt my shift if i do anything other than scroll through my phone or stare off into space. And then i found out that i’m also working the Monday and Tuesday after this weekend after school. At this point i’m pretty tired and knowing i wont even have a break after school is even worse. So, for my mental health I decided to skip school this Monday.

This is where the issue comes up. My mom was super against me skipping and we had a whole argument abt it. Basically i shouldn’t skip bc i’m “technically” truant, meaning i’ve skipped more than 11 days since school stared and they COULD either send me to court or have me pay a fine. Ik that sounds bad but they almost never send anyone to court or even make them pay any fines and most of my absences are from the first semester so i actually haven’t skipped in a while. Also half of those absences are my mom’s fault bc she forgot to email the school that i was sick or send them my doctors note which accounts for about 5 of my absences. And as long as one of my parents excuses the absence (which my dad is always willing to do) it doesn’t even count towards my truancy. When i tell her this she immediately pivots and says that well if she has to go to work then i have to go to school. Now i’ve always been really big on independence, i’m only an 18 year old senior in l Highschool but i KNOW thats bullshit, She works from home all the time and i was planning to do basically the same thing where i do the majority of my work at home and catch up on sleep until my work shift in the evening. So far this is pretty normal for my arguments about with her. Until i put my foot down and tell her that i’m old enough to have the right decide these types of things for myself and that i don’t think its fair for her to just decide for me. Usually she would relent but this time she threatened to CALL THE POLICE ON ME. I’m not exaggerating the escalation from a regular argument to a full screaming match was insane.

I was just so upset and it felt like she didn’t even see me as person who just needs a break sometimes. I was too scared to see if she would really call the police so i went to school. So, here i am silently fuming in class. I don’t even know if i’ll get through school with how mentally exhausted i am. Thats basically it. Just tell me if i’m in the wrong or over reacting or if i’m in the right. I’m such a mixture of angry and exhausted that none of this might make sense, but whatever. Thank you so much for listening.

Hi!!!

Well, I think there are separate parts to this:

Your mom isn't listening to your emotions. This happens a lot with parents, and it's frustrating. Even though she was making a valid point with the truancy, threatening to call the police and throwing her own (irrelevant) work in your face wasn't the way to do it. I've always wondered why parents think kids are going to listen if they aren't given the respect of the acknowledgement of their feelings.

The entire argument is difficult because, there are layers here. from what you're telling me, your mother is some of the reason you have some of these unexcused absences, because she hasn't done the paperwork. But I also am wondering, how can you even be considered truant if you're 18? And, at age 18, isn't it your decision? I'm confused on the laws here.

Given all of this...would I personally risk skipping school if I was risking truancy? Probably not. But I've always been afraid to get in trouble.

But I feel like that's not even the biggest issue. Can your mom not send the doctor notes to school to get some of your previous absences excused?

Also...the petty part of me is like...your mom is saying she has to go to work...but you have to go to work and school. so that's not an argument.

I feel like your mom didn't handle this well, to be honest. I know she's trying to prevent you from getting in trouble, but there were other ways to do it. I hope that makes sense?

Also, I hope work is going well! I'm naming you school anon.

[morrigan-sims]

Please talk about your oc 🥺🙏 I'd love to hear all abt him

Panic!!! Hi!!!!!

Rook is my Swashbuckler Rogue for the DnD campaign I'm currently playing. He's a half-elf, and the bastard son of a nobleman, and the love of my life.

putting this under the cut because it's going to get SO LONG

His father and step-mother thought he was a huge embarrassment, so they weren't exactly his biggest fans. (If you see me tag his posts as "Adrian Lockwood", that's his birthname.) He ended up running away at age 17 and joining the crew of a pirate ship named the Tide Breaker under Captain Zara. He looked up to her immensely, and she taught him everything he knows about sailing and swordsmanship. She also gifted him his magic rapier.

He was promoted to first mate a few years later, which some people didn't take kindly to, since he was the youngest on the ship. He said anyone who had an issue could challenge him to a duel, and thought that would solve the problem. It didn't quite, and a few months later some of his crew mates bought him a drugged drink and sold him to a rival pirate captain, a cruel woman by the name of Captain Kora Wolf.

He was on board her ship, the Sea Snake, for two years before he managed to escape, setting the ship on fire in the process. Captain Wolf swore to hunt him down and kill him if he ever escaped, and he can only imagine how much more angry she is now that her ship was damaged.

He ran away to the Feywild, where he met up with the adventuring party and has been with them ever since.

He's generally a pretty easy-going guy. Kind, good sense of humor, always down to chat, he makes friends easily. He's a little bit superstitious, and believes every ship should have a ship's cat, or else it's Bad Luck.

He's very impulsive, often to the degree of recklessness. Sometimes it seems like he has no fear of death. He does, it's just that everything he's ever done, from leaving home to joining a pirate ship to joining an adventuring crew he'd only known for a few hours, has been because of his fear of being stagnant and bored. He wants to do interesting things and see the world, and if that leads to an untimely death, then hopefully it was worth it.

He's also claustrophobic because of the time spent in a tiny room on the Sea Snake.

Just last session he got possessed and almost killed three of his part members, including poisoning one of them with fey scorpion venom he's been carrying around for 11 sessions that I had kind of forgotten about. He feels absolutely awful about it, and is lowkey mad that his party members didn't knock him out if that was what it took to stop him from hurting people.

Oh, and Captain Wolf who kidnapped him is known as "Aunt Kory" to two of the party members (including the one who got poisoned), so that's going to be interesting when we meet her.

Me and another player also decided that Rook's closest friend in the party is the party's 40-something year old werewolf gunslinger, who Rook looks up to for having his life put together. Rook kind of sees him as a dad, in a way.

Oh, and our next dungeon is circus-themed, and I gave the DM the idea for a mirror-maze fight where you have to roll a d4 to see if you even hit the real image. (Kind of like a Mirror Image spell, but applied to the whole fight.) And the DM said I might get Boots of Haste after this dungeon!! And another party member is planning to buy me nice armor, because I'm the party's only melee fighter and my AC is a measly 15.

Here, have some images:

Image Collage that fits him well.

Art I commissioned from the lovely and amazing @/saplingdraws here on tumblr.

[pitynostars]

rewatching PotD properly let's gooo

"is there anyone out there" "yes." This was hot

"what am I doing, I've got a date to get to" is Dan talking ABT Diane ???

The idea of doing an EP about just the cyber TLs would be so interesting imo ajdkkfdjks... Like they're not converted humans but that's their whole deal usually so like....

"don't get shot" *Dan gets shot* prime comedy

"don't lose my sonic" patronising 13 i hate u

Did anyone else expect Dan to turn evil here the way he hesitated over the controls? XD

The alien shows them what they want right ???? Why does the doctor see a random kid?

"I'm the doctor I'm going to protect you" "the doctor lies" lmao

Ive seen people say like. The train CGI the painting CGI is rlly bad but honestly I can never notice but I don't rlly have eyes for that sort of thing

Ace and Tegan Skype friends <3 the ending should have been like this w all the companions where they're all just swapping adventure stories rather than the support group thing

"should we pick u up again in 24hrs" so Dan is on and off the TARDIS at this point ??? Having dates ??? Assuming w Diane but the only person we see him w in the rest of te EP is Graham so I mean....

"Yaz u and I can see where the cyber masters took that child" so... Yaz saw it as a kid too? Did I mishear the line ABT it looking how u want

"it's not my life" hmm I buy that BC we saw his life before of pretending to b the museum guide and helping out at the food bank and stuff he's a community guyTM sure hate that this is so weirdly rushed less i guess "I can attack it now because I've been with you" I buy less lmao... He's had no growth at all??? Also the way it's framed like he's talking to the doc is so odd when he spent more time w Yaz (unless they've been travelling for more than 3 years ???)

The doctor saying "homes important" just makes me HOWL tho ngl

"I'll b kipping on mum and dads sofa tonight" .... Where have u been sleeping all the other 24 hr breaks youve appaz been dropped off for ???

"not one for goodbyes" idk I buy that w 13 we saw the whole "one happy one sad" the hug goodbye for Ryan and graham

...so why can't 13 tell yaz about this traitor dalek??

also the concept of a dalek realising theyve strayed from their og mission does actually kind of slap but we did just see daleks v daleks in revolution so i'm glad this wasnt the main plot again

sacha dhawans acting<3<3

the scene where he looks in the tsarina (?)'s eyes and he's like "are my eyes not full of certainty" and u see him reflected in her eyes.... SICK. have they mentioned the master is kind of hypnotic yet in this era before this?

where are the dhawan telling the tsar to take a holiday vs donna telling caecilius and family to take a holiday in pompeii parallels.

are they saying dhawan master replaced rasputin nd made an alt universe with this cyberplanet in the sky? or is there some historical note about there being something in the sky at that time (?)

i love that the doctor and yaz both barely react to the hahahahahhaha tardis there's no like. wtf. moment they just head straight in.

i think it would have been sweet for 13 to stroke one of its panels and be like "oh shes not mine." nodding to that theyre telepathic!! but we seem to have forgotten that this era 😔.... i feel this generally in this era the relationship between the doctor and the tardis has been lacking actually like apart from ghost monument and spyfall we barely see them interact... i know its not always a Thing but man i loved 11 & the tardis' relationship so much i'd love to see a writer feature it more again 🥺

ive seen some people claiming yaz reads gallifreyan off the screen in the tardis. that would be cool but 100% you can recognise readings u can tell what data/readings are without labels necessarily like i can go into a car and look at a speedo and i dont need numbers on it to know what the readings mean yk?? either way it does speak a lot to teh familiarity she's got with the tardis and i <3<3 ... yaz and the tardis' growth is fun to think about. do you think she was grumpy that yaz was hanging out with the other tardis on earth in revolution ? XD

DOCTOR: Ah, there's a rudimentary cloaking shield in operation. Soon fix that. The Cybermen have tethered that child into this planet. It was registering as an energy source.

YASMIN: How is that child an energy source?

DOCTOR: Wait, there's more layers to the shield. Oh, not just cloaking. It's a consciousness shield! A creature trying to evade capture, hiding behind a visual projection shield, and this one shows us what we instinctively want to protect, as a defence.

Help me out here. Are they saying that the Qurunx also set up the cloaking ??? or that the cybermen cloaked it and it also put up the consciousness shield? ? or was it all the cybermen?? why would it need both?

also the idea of it showing what you want to protect -- do yaz and the doctor and dan ALL just happen to see a child in this situation then ??

"is this planet your doing?" doctor you literally saw the cybermen kidnap the qurunx to bring here 😭😭😭... YOU FOLLOWED THEM HERE

just once i'd like the "your master awaits" to be subverted/mirrored with "your doctor awaits" ...... the "this country needs a doctor" line is hot but its not the SAME.

"have you got any idea whats going on in outspace in 1916 rn" "strangely enuf. no" this line always gets me aklsjflk i love kate

"I'm Yaz. The only one here who doesn't really know what's going on" sorry babe that's your whole character

MANDIP INVENTING ACTING

i am once again asking ok these paintings got "defaced" so its not an alt timeline??????????? they never fixed this in the end right ??????? sweats. so rasputin was teh master alll along historically (?)... and he jst put himself in paintings in modern day ?? but then the dr says "some people think you're rasputin" ?????

"this is the day youre erased from existence forever" .... how does turning into her erase her from existence 😭

dhawan inventing acting

i still dont understand why this "give her a gun" moment is in there.

wait what happens to vinder in the end??? his ships broken

"you'll feel safer with me in the building" LMAO

"she really doens't want us back in there" and then yaz just drops her home w no goodbye to the doctor coolcoolcoolcoool

ok but why did the master clone ashad specifically what difference does he make over like. any cyberman/cyberleader??

love the russian doll cyberman lmaoooo... reminds me of that arc thing from doomsday/aog... TIME LORD TECH

if i had a penny for every time the doctor is forced into one of their enemies only for it to be purely for transport i'd have 2 pennies which isn't a lot but its a bit funny it happens twice

i love the rasputin moment but i dont rlly get the lead in ngl 😭 hes just like k time for my dance number mid speech. which i suppose like. in character XD

sacha dhawan in thirteens outfit.... i'm bisexual<3 i need to get my ears pierced

"Don't… don't… don't worry. You'll get used to me. Everyone will. I still need a companion to ask and… bask in my brilliance. Come on, Yaz. Let's go on an adventure! Don't make me ask twice. I'd hate to have to bring you down to size." /

"Come on, Yaz! Let's save a civilisation! Let's correct history! Rescue a sick animal! These yours? Oh, bless. Ow! What was that? Some sort of dirty protest? Unless you want to be consigned down a black hole for eternity, you'd better behave! I am the Doctor, and you will obey me." snapping in yaz's face "I AM THE DOCTOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-> this would have hit soo different if this actually was the doctor i would HAVE LOVEDDDD it. first time watching i honetsly thought this was still the doctor and the tardis was reacting like that bc the regeneration was so unnatural (like the way she reacted to jack in utopia) but no 😔

mandip inventing acting<3

"very 80s" "thanks!" LMAO

"gold star and a sticker" u r sick

the random news drone on top of a random 2 planets is so.... ??? i feel like a lot of this was cut somehow aslkfjklgds..

also where's the awkward cut scene of yaz standing around while the master's in the wardrobe picking his outfit aksfjgdlkf

[plays the recorder on a burning mushroom planet] king shit

"quite the strength of character this incarnation" "DOCTOR 6: Our predicament! This is supposed to be handed over. You can't ruin it for the next one. / DOCTOR 5: And you were doing so well." i hateee these bits so much its SO patronising

"i dont do robes" lmao

why is whittaker in the reversed robe/the robe they used for time here hm

the hologram i do like as an idea tbf especially as we've seen the basic version w 9 and 11 and whatnot so her developing it to be more ai is rlly fun ... especially after she saw how handy having three of her in diff places was in flux lmaoooo

"it should only activate under the gravest circumstances. Like if I'm no longer around. Now, that would be disastrous. But I will have very subtly inserted a sonically triggered nano-implant under your skin and passed it off as static electricity. f I remember to do that. I must remember to do that." -- so either 13 has only just finished the hologram ai before this ep OR she KNOWS shes about to walk into some Real ShitTM and takes precautions akjfgldf.....

"HOLO-DOCTOR: Whoa! The emotional receptors on the AI are a bit oversensitive. Apparently, you're annoyed with me? Apparently, I should apologise for something?" this is so fucking funny because it comes across literally just like thirteen was she is always this fucking mean and patronising and borderline manipulative lmao its so askjdfglkdf......... blame it on the emotional receptors being oversensitive sure 🙄

i reiterate my point that most of the things/wins we get are done by the hologram dr, yaz is STILL asking the doc for validation even when shes a hologram 😔

"can't hurt the feelings of a hologram" SHE JUST TOLD U SHE WAS AI. watching this after measure of a man is like. HELLO.

"yeah well i didnt" [tosses bag] I LOVE TEGAN

they cld have mentioned nyssa in this rant tho fr

"i'll distract the cybermen" "how are you gonna do that" [cuts to screaming] hELP ASKFJDGLF... THE COMEDY IN THIS EP IS SO

the shot of ace falling into the console room is so fun actually <3

dhawan hood up<3<3

vinder no idea who the doctor is or their history w the doctor or yaz in this ep is. q funny to me.

"YASMIN: I'm sorry. / MASTER: Are you? Truly?/ YASMIN: Came back, didn't I? / MASTER: We could have fun, you know? I am fun. Different type of fun, but fun. We could travel. You'll see. "

i am once again saying i wish we got dhawan!doctor fr with this vibe

the touch of the ai mirroring the companions emotions is cute but i do still kinda wish we'd got whittaker to do these scenes fully

god i want ace and bill to meet actually

"the joy is to watch them fly" 😭😭😭

"former bus driver" is such a funny thing for graham to think when introducing himself

"wanna see how i dealt with them in 1963?" i'm kissing you on the lips

kate sacrificing herself is so<3<3 redgraves acting here is sooooo

jasfkdj tegan slipping on the ladder... is this a ryan reference or is that purely for plot convenienceTM

if the daleks plan is to destroy the planet through volcanoes then who do the cybermen have left to convert .....😭

wait the tardis in this shot LOOKS SO BAD i never notice cgi and whatnot idc but like LITERALLY THATS OBVIOUSLY A BOX WITH THE BACKGROUND PAINTED IN 😭

jo martin my beloved<3 god i wish she got more to do

vinder shooting the master is sooo<3 king

yazs speech about friendship and love got me actually.

i reiterate its the hologram telling yaz what to do this isnt her win wholly and that frustrates me so much 😭...

also how do the daleks and cybermen and master and vinder SEE ruths hologram when the doctor didnt plant the ai in them ?????? the whole static thing was the flag hello ??

"dont let me go back to being me" pleaseeee

"where there's hope..." YOU DIDNT FINISH THAT. THERES WHAT.

[saintobio]

Chapter 11 blew my mind, and now I get the "wtf" plot twist you're talking about lol! This is the first time I'm asking you hehe. I can't believe Eula and Naoya hooked up and they have their own personal hidden agendas that would affect the future of the Gojos akskakwjoahwja OMG. Naoya really stayed in his own dirty habits. I wonder what he's plotting again? I'm sorry if I forgot but can I ask why Eula's been plotting Satoru's downfall and she was really REALLY looking forward for Yuuta's inheritance for the title of the company? Is Naoya plotting something for the mc as well? Implying to what Toji said to him, I still don't know what he's plotting in his mind after Toji said that.

I also love how Toji's been concerned for the mc and he's been aware of what's happening to her life.

Also SERA, my god she's so fucking desperate and delusional what happened to her HAHAHAHAHA she needs a freaking therapist. She really went down bad to the point where she wanna babytrap Gojo and how she's saying she'll kill herself because she can't do it alone. However props to you Gojo for having the balls for trying to break up but at what cost? She's so manipulative and desperate people are disturbing asf. Also why did she panick like, whats wrong? She's so goddamns suspicious.

I wonder what she's plotting for the mc lol she said she's gonna pay for everything and for destroying her supposedly "happily-ever-after".

Nevertheless, thank you for the meal Ai! As always! You can now finally sleep i guess jajskaah have sum good schlep gurl..!

Anonymous said

lmaooo naoya, i dont know what you're planning but it better not hurt mc💀

yn, i hope she's okay, maam's having a heart attack on god then we all just suddenly get a scene change ejndnsnsns, it would be real interesting if she gets hospitalized right then and there while gojo's at the hospital, not only could he find out but he'll be in crossroads. if sera's actually pregnant (not to say if the kid would be gojo's) and if he finds out yn has a fatal heart problem, i wonder what he'll do. one thing is for sure. he would HAVE to choose (well ig he already kinda did, seeing he's already breaking up with sera, FINALLY)

now, sera. fckin SIGH. everything is falling out of her grasp (unsurprisingly) and OF COURSE she blames yn, it's getting boring but nonetheless frustrating with how she refuses to see her faults and chooses to blame everything else. (her sheer audacity my god)

and i don't think she's pregnant (like with her cycle and how she's quick to refuse a pregnancy test) and even if she is, she'll find it hard to fake it. gojo is many things, but he isn't dumb and he isn't gullible (he could run a business empire by himself ffs), plus if he has shoko as the one testing sera, i doubt that shoko would lie and deceive him abt sera being pregnant (plus i don't see her getting cahoots with sera), and would sera even have the money to bribe anyone??? i doubt it, with how many times she complained abt being poor. 🙄

can't wait for sera's downfall uwu

and as much as gojo is an asshole here, im worried abt him. feelings aside, he worked hard for that business and seeing it fail and seeing his step-mom plot against him gets me worried....

@mephiis said

oh shit its getting fucked up 👁👁 like eula and naoya and sera is going to team up to bring downfall of gojo. Now yn saw gojo and sera for pregnancy test 😭😭

Gojo i love u stay strong HAHAAHGHAGAYAV I CAN'T-- I CAN'T BE MAD AT HIM ANYMORE AFTER ALL HE WANTS TO END HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH SERA

For naoya : tf you dick down a 43 years old woman? *wheeze* your taste legit worst.

@atsunflower said

Bruh why do I feel like Naoya is plotting something for the 50 anniversary? And I actually like him???? What did u do to me, miss Saint??

Sera keeps shoing her true colors and ugh, I relate a lot to Y/N, Gojo trying to redeem himself is getting on my nerves. Alsoooo, why do I feel like he is gonna find out about Y/N's condition next chapter??? So so so many questions

Anyways, it was another amazing chapter and I already look forward to the next one. Have an amazing week, Saint <3

Anonymous said

THAT TWIST OMG. I never expected Naoya to be the character who took the limelight. This particular part had me curious

“But this, he decided to turn a blind eye on it for personal reasons. Eula was different—that was all that mattered.”

What were his personal reasons and how is she different? She should drop a master class on how to bag rich men. But fr though, isn’t she mad old 💀 like his moms age. Is she actually that attractive?

Also, why did Naoya ask Toji what he would do if Y/N was his wife and why was he pleased by Tojis answer?

Ik Toji also said that if Y/N had waited a little longer she would have had a bunch of men asking for her hand in marriage, would Toji have been one of them if he wanted to remarry?

Anonymous said

NAOYA WITH GOJO’S STEPMOM I GASPED SO HARD I HAD TO PUT MY PHONE DOWN HELP. everything revealed in that part was so crazy, i seriously wonder who will actually expose gojo for all the shit he’s done 👩🏽‍💻 i think naoya is fully capable of doing it, imagine him exposing gojo at that business anniversary 💀

also y/n buying the shoes for toji IN FRONT OF GOJO LMAO. gojo seemed so childish this chapter it’s so funny to me. anyway gojo is actually trying for y/n…the flashback scene was so shocking, i hate sera for trying to keep him by saying she’d k1ll herself 😐 I KNEW SHE WAS PREGNANT TOO i mean it hasn’t been confirmed but the fact that gojo seriously doesn’t believe her and is taking her w ieri…idk 🏃🏽‍♀️ she might be lying considering that her attitude changed when gojo started questioning her but if she actually is pregnant it’s either gojo’s child or maybe someone else’s. HE TRIED BREAKING UP WITH HER TOO OMG IM NOT READY FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER YOURE SO GOOD AT WRITING ty so much for feeding us <3

Anonymous said

Naoya— I had some suspiscions when I looked at the theories about the plot twist. I knew the Naoya X Stepmom idea would really make me say "Wtf!?". Hah I must admit I forgot about Mei's love for money for a bit there hahah

Welp now I can tell why you couldn't express your agreement on my previous ask about Gojo's dad 😅 He does give off that selfish vibe that even if he adores his side pieces he'll only favor those of his own blood, although discreetly/twisted.

I'm honestly nervous that the two (Toji x Y/N) are starting to think about each other, although their thoughts are still on the platonic side, I can't help but feel that Gojo's chances of getting Y/N back is already at the critical level of 10%.

I know he's sincere with everything now but I can't blame Y/N for not believing his actions at all. Heck I would've started not believing every affection he's shown the moment he declared that I will never be in his heart 🤷🏻‍♀️ Hopefully he'll get through the "veil" she has started to build around her to keep him away 👀

Ohohoh it's evident that she isn't pregnant ( I eat lies for breakfast JK 🤣) but in case she is when Ieiri checked it's probably someone else's, maybe Naoya has something to do with it. He did say he wanted to meet her and to leave the dirty work to him. He seems like he's gonna help Toji get Y/N 🤔 Like she's gon be beneficial for their group, too, yk. But oh well, too late, Y/N saw the scenes at the hospital already and has assumed the worst, oh man, and to think he's been annoyingly sweet throughout this chapter 😅

Also, I wanna trust Ieiri honestly but if she ever reveals that misstres is indeed preggo I have a feeling she's threatened by the fact that mistress might potentially harm Y/N knowing her heart condition but again I hope she's a wise and strong as I see her.

I'm honestly glad like 🥲🤧 that he said those things to Sera, that's a HUGE step hun. But now I feel bad because there's a lot of misunderstandings in their relationship then add to the mix that the mistress lied to baby trap Gojo and Y/N seeing all that and running away without confirming anything 😢

unfortunately i cannot answer all of ur asks abt naoya’s intentions. wouldn’t it be better to let the story unfold itself? :) everything will make sense soon. i do agree with the reactions abt naoya x eula tho sjndjs remember when i told u guys i have a plot twist 😭 only one person managed to guess but it was a great guess!!

[adelidae]

Hii for the oc this what abt past 11 and present 11. Unfortunately i dont know ur ocs but id like to hear abt one :)

Also heres a bear

HI!! thank u for the bear im in love.....here have some monkeys in return!! 💖

questions/answers under the cut! they got a bit long 😭

(11) PAST—Were there any events in their childhood that led to phobias or other fears?

HMMM this is a tricky one because i haven't thought that much about it before......ok there's definitely anya aka anastasia dragomira (if you've seen me talking about veronika/ronnie then anya is her older sister)

she's basically the crown princess of the kingdom she lives in and that's mainly because she has a powerful affinity for pyrokinesis (fire magic is hereditary and has a huge religious significance), while veronika has no abilities and their brother gustav has air magic from their father's side of the family.

anya has always been the centre of attention since she was a young child and that attention has always been tied to her station and power, so the older she got the more paranoid she became about Losing that attention. basically without her fire and prospective crown she felt everyone would leave her and no longer need her, and she'd do anything to avoid that happening

ronnie and gustav are closest to her until she meets the father of her son (i still can't decide on a name for him) but she feels very isolated in part due to her 'chosen one' mentality and the way she has to feel like she's better/smarter/stronger than everyone else as validation....her mother didn't really discourage it either since she was more concerned with preserving the integrity of the royal bloodline and the pyrokinesis that comes with it, so as long as anya was Physically normal she would consider her to be fine

so yeah i'd def say anya has a fear of being left behind and forgotten which is kind of interesting considering she treats a lot of other people dismissively (like ronnie and even her partner), but it stems a lot from her responsibilities as a kid and her craving for attention from other people (her relationship with her mother is pretty complicated, katerina means well but is not a good parent) honestly along that same vein i'd say veronika probably has some kind of anxiety about not following her duty and failing expectations but that's a wholeeeee other essay

-

(11) PRESENT—What’s a typical night’s sleep like for them?

for this one i'm thinking about nik (nikolaj voronin) tbh.....he was raised the son of veronika and her husband ilya, later the king, but his father was actually another man (anton romanovski, her previous fiance. it's complicated)

i feel like he's a rather light sleeper as it is, and as a kid he had really bad social anxiety coupled with somehow being unable to get along with anyone else his age....he was bullied quite a bit which left him rather isolated as well. his best friend as a kid was his sister zhanna (younger by 4 years) who had a stormy temper despite her stature and essentially appointed herself nik's protector despite his protests

with that in mind i don't think he sleeps particularly well most nights. he has unsettling dreams and is rather restless, waking easily when it's cold or he's alone. when awake he carries himself with a bit of a slouch and he has dark circles under his eyes most of the time which contributes a lot to his permanently tired demeanor....something i feel that zhanna in particular snaps at people for mentioning especially if she feels it was said as an insult

there was a period of time when they were younger in which zhanna would sneak into his room at night and get into his bed with the excuse of feeling lonely just because she knew he didn't sleep well and it upset her to see him unwell and struggling to get through the day......they both knew she would probably get in trouble for it but nik always felt better and safer with her around. they're each other's closest confidants even in the present day of canon, and zhanna is still fiercely protective of him—some might even say overprotective...

-

SO YEAH . that's a bit more about my ocs i love talking about them sm so thank u thank u thank u for sending this in <3 if u ever have any questions feel free 2 ask!! i promise im super happy to ramble on about them all day long

[steponmepinkjun]

Sara I hope you dont mind me dropping this kind of ask, I just dont have anyone to talk abt this topic in particular and i have seen you open up about being neurodivergent multiple times.

All this time I believe that im neurotypical and always have to progress through life the way neurotypical people do, but from like 2 years ago i'm starting to question if i really am one bcs when I read about neurodivergency I slowly began to see myself in the description. How does one get um.. Diagnosed? I feel like theres sth abt myself that i havent figured out yet and I just want to know and love myself better.

Also forgive me for not being articulate enough, this is something im working out on.

Okay so I am obviously not a doctor or expert on neurodivergency, but I've gleaned a bit of knowledge from the nearly three decades I've spent being ND. So heres my advise.

First, I would begin with identifying why you'd like to seek an official diagnosis. Depending on what it is you're trying to diagnose, there are advantages and disadvantages.

Officially being diagnosed with ADHD gave me a sense of understanding I never had, gave a name to the symptoms that had been, quite honestly, ruining my life, and most importantly gave me access to the medication that completely turned my life around and made me a functioning human being. Even though I was diagnosed late in life (ie after school/developing years), I was still very lucky—my psychiatrist saw what the six previous ones I'd seen didn't. Before that, I was in treatment for depression and anxiety since age 11, had seen 13 therapists, and been on over 15 medications, to no avail. I'm lucky because a lot of obtaining a diagnosis for ADHD relies on self-reporting and reports from your parents—which is fucking stupid considering adhd is genetic, so my adhd parent probably isn't going to see my behavior as abnormal, IF they can even remember my behavior or payed attention to it. Despite those things, I was able to finally get diagnosed at age 22, and it changed my life. However, despite the fact that I suspected since I was a teenager that I might be on the autism spectrum (my brother, father, and several members of his family are), I made the conscious decision not to seek an official diagnosis. The medical community at large is incredibly ignorant and biased in regards to diagnosing autism in women, getting a diagnosis is ridiculously expensive, and unfortunately where I live an autism diagnosis can put you at significant disadvantage in the court system (it's often used as proof that an individual isn't mentally competent enough to do things like stand trial or be given sole custody of their own children, among other things). Plus, autism itself isn't treatable, so in my eyes I saw no benefit to getting a piece of paper telling me what I already knew. That's a personal choice that no one can judge another for—your reasons for seeking diagnosis are entirely valid whatever they are, and you owe an explanation to no one. I only wish to point out that not all diagnosis carry the same cost/benefit.

Getting a diagnosis can be a huge uphill battle, and it usually takes stamina and mental fortitude to get there. But everyone needs and deserves to have a community, a sense of understanding, and a support network, and wanting that alone is a more than valid reason to pursue a diagnosis.

So here's what I'd do. Get yourself in to see a psychiatrist (a therapist will do IF they have the training to diagnose, not all do), and do some research beforehand. Things as simple as googling "I think I might have/be (insert neurodivergent term here, for me this would be ADHD or autistic)" can give you some good starting points for what traits/symptoms are common. And as you're doing your research, take notes! If you see something jump out at you that you super relate to or that puts a feeling you've always had into words, write it down, copy the phrase, include things like how often you feel that way and what age you were when you began experiencing that. If there are ND behaviors that your immediate family share, that is very relevant, and actually gives a lot of context as to if something is a ND trait, trauma response, or shared personality quirk. Bring those notes with you to your appointment, reference them, and take notes of your own with the Dr's feedback. If you feel like you're being dismissed, tell them that, if you feel dissatisfied with their assessment, say so, and ask what your options are going forward. You probably won't walk away with a solid answer in just one day, but it's a good place to start.

It usually doesn't hurt to seek out community online, either, provided you take it all with a grain of salt—I've found that doctors tend to minimize symptoms, while peers online tend to maximize them. Ie, the way ND tiktok has become a slew of "do you breathe oxygen? Here's why that might be a sign you have adhd" type vids. Get second and third and fourth opinions before you take something to heart, you know?

And (even though this may go without saying), while I am no doctor, I have amassed more knowledge of my own disorders (as well as cptsd, ho lawdy its a fuckin doozy) than perhaps any one person should, so if you're at all in my vein or neurodivergency then please feel free to reach out to me directly, I'm always open to offering advise or a friendly ear or a sounding board for thoughts and ideas.

[yeehawclem]

this au is fantastic and i love literally everything abt it. i'm curious whether u have anything planned for lee? hope you're having a great day :)

Thank u that means a lot. And hell yeah I got a plan for Lee, everyone has some sort of subplot going on so ye let's get right to it then

Lee shit 🤠

Is a family friend of Ed and Diana (clems parents), they go way back

Ed and Lee grew up together basically

Diana met Lee when they were teens (when her n Ed first started dating)

And when Lee went to jail Ed still kept in touch with him

Instead of killing the state senate in canon he just like. Beats him up or summin? He gets like 3 years in prison with parole idk lol

Anyway Lee is basically in prison for like. A small fraction of Clementine's life (he got released during S2 section of the au plot)

When he got released, Ed and Diana welcomed him with open arms into their home, since his family basically disowned him for what he's done. Clem got to see her uncle Lee again and she showed him her new baby brother AJ whom they've just adopted

He loved it there, with his best friends his best friend's kids

It was...nice, especially after being a cell for so long.

He got back on his feet surprisingly quickly, working at a grocery store for a bit

He doesn't stay in the marsh resident for long tho, he gets a cozy apartment a few minutes outside of Atlanta and has started teaching at a local highschool (they rlly be letting anyone teach huh)

His neighbor from across the hall is Carley! The reporter who covered his case in court n stuff!

They hit it off and he makes quick friends with her lil social group (basically the motor inn gang)

Lee really likes her, so he goes to the only person he can count on for advice: Clementine

Nah jk Clem goes to him and asks him why he's so weird around Carley and if he wants to do 'kissing stuff' with her

Then she turns into his dating coach of some kind

Lee's not sure if this 11 year old child can help him score a date with a middle aged reporter lady but clems a professional (or so she claims)

Turns out she does know what she's talking about! Carley accepted his date request and pecked him on the cheek. Clem (watching from the bushes) cheered and her n Lee celebrated

After some more dates, kisses and lots of awkward flirting they were finally a couple

They dated for like some years before Lee finally proposed (with the help of Clem again)

They get married when Clem is like 13 and is one of Lee's groomsmen (because Clem in a suit fuck you)

And they lived happily ever after the end

(No wait I still have more nvm) Lee is clems history teacher in highschool (pre- ericsons) and is kinda like the Cool Teacher amongst the kids for being a "scary prison guy" or whatever

He uses the kids attention to his advantage by teaching the Cool Histories (and they actually listen!)

Him, Kenny, and Ed are like. Those Middle Aged Men Who Like To Kick Back and Have A Beer.

Taught duck in history and everytime he asked a genuinely stupid question his hairline receded by a centimeter

Here he is! Sorry it took a while for me to pop this boy out I've been doing school work at home. We love Corn Teen time.

Lee's life is kinda like a romcom it's great. How would yall feel if I started writing little drabbles of my au once in a while?

[butch-himbo-king]

1-60 I'm dead serious

1. selfie

(don’t worry i swear i’m not driving, i’m in a parking lot)

2. what would you name your future kids?

lmfao i haven’t even planned what i’m doing tonight and y’all think i’m out here planning out my future all the way to what i’ll name my kids (if i have any)

3. do you miss anyone?

yeah but who doesn’t

4. what are you looking forward to?

going home lmao. i’m tired and ready to hang out with stevie

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

uhh Yes @kirbymilkshake and @kaloi-jeni-doxun both make me smile every fucking day i love them so much

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

not usually....... there’s one person i’m still not Entirely over even though it’s been like 4 years but we don’t talk about that

7. what was your life like last year?

stressful but made better by having good friends around me

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

all the fucking time. especially since getting my brain damage it’s so easy for me to get super emotional Real Fast and pretty much every emotion turns into tears now

9. who did you last see in person?

my friend lily

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

usually yeah

11. are you listening to music right now?

Ye!! dermot kennedy released an album today and i’m listening to it for the second time

12. what is something you want right now?

lunch

13. how do you feel right now?

hungry and also tired

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

not to be depressing on main but i honestly can’t remember the last time someone of Any sex hugged me

15. personality description

dumb of ass, pure of heart, home of sexual

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

yeah. some things are better left unsaid imo

17. opinion on insecurities.

they’re dumb as hell and i’m gonna fight every single one of ‘em

18. do you miss how things were a year ago?

a little bit, yeah

19. have you ever been to New York?

nope

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

my favorite song rn is probably i’m on fire by @seashellronan she wrote it herself probably it’s great you all should go listen to it

21. age and birthday?

20, my birthday was last saturday

22. description of crush.

uhhhh curly brown hair, really light hazel eyes, super cute, little nerdy

23. fear(s)

i’m too stupid to be scared of stuff

24. height

5’5”

25. role model

me bitch!

26. idol(s)

me again bitch!!

27. things i hate

Me Again Bitch!!!

28. i’ll love you if…

i’ll love you if i ever learn how to do it lmfao

29. favourite film(s)

jennifer’s body 100% all the way

30. favourite tv show(s)

derry girls i watched the entirety of season 1 and 2 in one sitting and i’m probably gonna do it again this weekend tbh

31. 3 random facts

1) 20-30% of the population has this bone growth thing on the roof of their mouth called Torus Palatinus and no one knows what causes it

2) if you have a blind cat they’ll memorize the feel of a room and where things are and if you move a chair a few inches to the left and don’t move it back bc you forget abt moving it the cat Will try to jump on it while sprinting around the room and he Will miss completely and crash into the wall

3) jennifer from jennifer’s body can’t fly. in the movie she just hovers which really isn’t that impressive

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

majority of my life my friends were mainly guys but lately i’ve made a lot more girl friends

33. something you want to learn

finnish

34. most embarrassing moment

probably that time i was making out with my best friend and my shirt was off and his roommate walked in on us to tell us that he left his phone out on the table and his gf had been trying to call him 😬

35. favourite subject

P.E.

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

traveling, learning new languages, dying young under mysterious circumstances

37. favourite actor/actress

megan fox i would lay down my life just for her to have a good day

38. favourite comedian(s)

me i’m hilarious (but also probably cody ko & noel miller & kurtis conner)

39. favourite sport(s)

soccer

40. favourite memory

i have no memories my brain is Fucked

41. relationship status

single

42. favourite book(s)

i don’t know how to read bro

43. favourite song ever

still i’m on fire by @seashellronan i’m serious go listen to it it’s on her blog you won’t be disappointed

44. age you get mistaken for

usually around 16-18

45. how you found out about your idol

i looked in the mirror

46. what my last text message says

it’s an ugly top keysmash and i Know how y’all feel abt those so i won’t type it and subject you guys to that kind of horror

47. turn ons

this is a christian minecraft server

48. turn offs

people trying to talk abt sex on my christian minecraft server 😤

49. where i want to be right now

in bed

50. favourite picture of your idol

why are these asks so obsessed with idol??? no false god’s here, only me.

51. starsign

libra

52. something i’m talented at

literally everything

53. 5 things that make me happy

my friends, food, animals, soccer, those good naps that only take like 30 minutes but feel like a full night’s sleep and you wake up not knowing what time it is or where you are

54. something thats worrying me at the moment

i have anxiety bro everything is worrying me all the time

55. tumblr friends

uhhh i have like... A Lot but the people i talk to the most (like Every Day) would be @kirbymilkshake, @kaloi-jeni-doxun, @seashellronan, and @spookyfemme

56. favourite food(s)

i love any kind of comfort food and you can’t go wrong with street tacos

57. favourite animal(s)

All Of Them

58. description of my best friend

uhhhh really funny, super pretty, low key a bitch but like in a fun way

59. why i joined tumblr

my siblings told me to

60. ask me anything you want

this isn’t a question so haha fuck you i only had to answer 59

[fidgemimic]

ok it's 11:20am for me now and I'm back on my bs who would have guessed, anyway much like Tori possibly was Astrid is kinda of like a good?? enabler?? for Beau, Tori and Astrid both being very smart but also ready to throw down and sorta impulsive in non-risk moments (especially now that Astrid doesn't have to worry that much now), so if Beau wants to climb a tree but can't bring herself to do it, Astrid sees this, kicks her foot and tells her to go. And god has Beau missed that reassurance!!

Astrid straight up tells Beau she's allowed to do weird/niche things she likes, Eod backs her up!! Beau replies that they are allowed to do the same, WHICH WEIRDS THEM OUT, like sure they don't feel like they should be allowed to love, but also all this time they've had to ignore there interests and still kinda don't think they're allowed to have them?? Jester is a fucking wildcard to Eod, whose like, You wanna know abt my favourite pastries???? You're interested in my BAKING?? what the shit!!??     

Astrid, Eodwulf and Beau bonding over the fact that they had been taught over long periods of time that their interests don't mean anything and aren't valuable to anyone/any situation and therefore shouldn't be talked about but also trying to get the other(s) to talk about what they like bit by bit thanks. (Caleb, whose had Nott to help him over the years, watching his family get a little bit better over time and feeling so damn proud)         

I’m still so out of it but im chin-handing like FUCK over here this is SOFT and im DYING       

[cs-discourse]

here we go

https://cs-discourse.tumblr.com/post/179953845684/uuuuwuu-every1-whos-concerned-abt-biased-judging

ok this attitude has been pissing me off long enough that it's time for one of my Big Ole Posts (tm) about how shitty this is! thanks. 

uuuuwuu every1 whos concerned abt biased judging in comps is just soooow entitled !!!1 i cant bewieve ppl wouldnt want some1 whos literally explicitly stating at this point that they trust their friends more to "demonstrate dedication to the character" they assign to a design to b an influence in judging comps !!!!!11 bc artists Never weigh in on other artist's comps, so obviously thes ppl just want fwee merc designs !!!1!!1 also my last braincell just died pleas h

so here's the og post in question for quick reference

i honestly have no idea why people keep bringing up this idea of bias in judging competitions because, while i do think there is a type of bias that certainly exists, i think a lot of so-called "bias" that people have is ... not whatsoever like what people think it is lol. artists are people and there's always going to be SOME kind of bias no matter what you do, because it's literally fuckin impossible to NOT be biased. by that i mean:

your taste in plots/types of characters/medias influence your judging

quality of writing or art can influence your judging

the person who's applying for the adopt you may have previous judgement about

even if you say you aren't biased, you STILL have preferences and tastes in things that you prefer more than others, which in of itself is a kind of bias

people who know you (friends for example) will naturally know what your taste is. 

a competition is judged based on what form the artist thinks is best, right? 

NEWSFLASH EVERYONE'S IDEA OF "WHAT'S BEST" IS DIFFERENT FROM PERSON TO PERSON ..... "BEST" is literally the most subjective thing there is, and while i agree that there are certain aspects of art and writing that you can use as objective measurements of tangible skill, it's... still subjective. what people think is "best" will vary from person to person because we all have different tastes. so, essentially, this boils down to the idea that the winner of an adopt competition will ALWAYS be the form the artist liked best, because that is what the artist perceives as best. so like. when people appear biased in adopt competitions towards friends or certain circles, it's probably because they're literally friends because they have similar tastes in things, and therefore the form the artist likes best is naturally going to be from someone who shares similar tastes. 

so whenever i hear about """bias""" in competitions i just kind of roll my eyes tbqh because it's usually followed by complaints of "BUT I PUT IN SO MUCH EFFORT" or "I WROTE SO MUCH MORE THAN THE WINNER" uhhhh. if adopt contests were won by effort alone it wouldn't be a contest, it'd be an endurance test lol. literally just "who has the most time to waste writing out 60000k words of absolute meaningless fluff"... because, i hate to break it to you, but ANYONE can write 5000 words of mindless drivel that has literally no substance to it. 

now in caps for emphasis. takes a deep breath

THERE IS NO SKILL NEEDED TO BLOAT YOUR WORD COUNT. 

YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW HOW TO WRITE WELL TO WRITE 5000 WORDS.

YOU JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW TO TYPE AND PUT SENTENCES TOGETHER.

quality > quantity, always. like, i'm sorry you put in so many hours of effort but, those people who win with MUCH smaller wordcounts... did they not work to get as good as they did with writing? you put in 5 hours into one tryout. but others, take me for example: i have been writing for over 10 bloody years. i've worked hard to improve my writing, so you can't tell me i "didn't put in as much effort" as you because i did. i put in YEARS of work to get better so doing simple things would take me LESS time now. inb4 IT'S UNFAIR! dude, the literal definition of a contest is for the best to win. it wouldn't be a contest if it wasn't like that lol. it'd just be charity. what you should be doing instead of complaining about it is ASKING FOR CRIT and WORKING TO IMPROVE like a good sport? i get that it's discouraging but you should be prepared to lose when you join a contest. it's valid to be upset about but the moment you say you deserve it more than others JUST because of your effort, then i have a problem. 

and you know, there's gonna be times where i think a comp winner is objectively less skilled than other tryouts. honestly i just kind of shrug that off on account of different taste lol. sometimes that's just how it be, bc of those predetermined biases i mentioned before, and maybe a judge and i are just in completely stages of life so what i call quality might not appeal to the judge. that's also fine. anyway this really got off on a tangent but i'm leaving it in bc i think it needs saying. back to the og post

 > i cant bewieve ppl wouldnt want some1 whos literally explicitly stating at this point that they trust their friends more to "demonstrate dedication to the character" they assign to a design to b an influence in judging comps !!!!!11

wtf didn't i address this in a different post

here let me link it for you

https://cs-discourse.tumblr.com/post/179841459154/post179838988303-the-difference-is-that-you-have

which was replying to this: https://cs-discourse.tumblr.com/post/179838988303/179837734509-idk-anon-i-kinda-agree-with-the

i said it once but i'll say it again: artist entries aren't main adopts lol. people don't work for artist entries. all you fucking do is post on one like "can i have this pls" .. there is... no effort put into that lol. main adopts you WORK for. it's a CONTEST. claiming an artist entry is NOT a contest. if a bunch of little nasty gremlins come running up to me like a hungry horde trying to be the first one to claim my design, i think giving friends first pick is COMPLETELY FINE, BECAUSE WHAT DID ANYONE ELSE DO TO "DESERVE" THAT DESIGN? nothing. you did. nothing. you're literally coming here with this attitude that NOT GIVING THINGS AWAY TO STRANGERS FOR FREE SOMEHOW EQUALS BIAS? i literally do not understand your logic whatsoever. like. i'm trying really fucking hard. at least with main adopts the "payment" is the effort you put in trying to answer the artist's prompt. i know i sound super dumb repeating myself but i don't know how much simpler i can make this concept tbh

and this is EXACTLY why i say ya'll are fucking entitled because merc and any of the kal artists could be making REAL $$$$ selling their own designs and adoptables and art and NOT deal with all the bs ya'll throw at them. they're literally here because the ENJOY MAKING ((( FREE ))) CONTENT for you, and they're not obligated to do this. they can stop whenever they want. if you had to pay per hour for the length of time collectively worked by ANY species artist staff, the lot of you would be fucking broke. i'm actually constantly shocked that species artists work like, 8 hours or more on some of these gorgeous designs just to give them away for free in a contest. 

so, yeah, as someone who hasn't spent my entire life on CS (i've only been here for a year and a half), ya'll seem pretty fucking entitled to me lol. the world outside CS rarely gives out such gorgeous designs in write-to-adopt contests so i'm honestly baffled at the amount of bloody entitlement i see

>bc artists Never weigh in on other artist's comps, so obviously thes ppl just want fwee merc designs !!!1!!1 

this part i don't actually understand what you mean. do you mean they... help judge other comps? or like, enter them? i don't get what you mean by "weigh in" but listen, lol. just because something DOES happen doesn't mean it gives you a good reason to assume the worst. i mean... of course it happens. it's statistically impossible for skewed contests and bias to NOT happen, because there's always going to be cases of it happening. but like, what proof do you have that merc will be biased lol? like, real proof? because your main point i've basically debunked and don't believe in at all. do better than "i cant bewieve ppl wouldnt want some1 whos literally explicitly stating at this point that they trust their friends more to "demonstrate dedication to the character" they assign to a design to b an influence in judging comps !!!!!11" because this doesn't make any sense to me for the reasons i already listed above lmao. if artist entries were supposed to be contests they'd be contests. what the hell makes you important enough to get first dibs on a stranger's work. ARTIST ENTRIES AREN'T EVEN MADE TO BE GIVEN AWAY, THEY'RE MADE AS ARTIST ENTRIES.... LIKE.... JESUS i struggle to understand ya'll

anyway im done here, if you wanna actually talk and debate this hmu on discord at lysander#9229 bc if you actually talk to me instead of spew this hot mess on the blog i might actually listen to you and change my mind and be nice about it instead of being a condescending bitch. 

wait one more thing

>also my last braincell just died pleas h

yea clearly

p.s., why do you ppl keep going to the blog to give critique on merc's designs when on literally every other design merc makes there's this:

https://www.chickensmoothie.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=38&t=3950980

here i even linked it for you. idk why it's so hard for yall to give constructive crit like decent human beings

[howdowormsreproduce]

Hello my name is Jace I'm 14 years old and I want to mark today (11/04/2020) as the first day of my transition. Today I came out to both my parents and we had a long conversation. I want them to understand how I feel before they start calling me anything so today was just talk abt how I've been feeling and what to expect from me. I will update by reblogging every time we have a talk about it or a big milestone has come up. So far I came out to my mother separately and she bought be boxer briefs which I would consider a big milestone because she grew up in mexico and is very traditional. I wanted to mark it here instead of then because I've come out about it to them both and I feel like I can truly begin my transition now. I'd like to show how far I've come with a couple of pics but so far I've only started dressing more masculine, wearing men's deodorant, wearing cologne, I've cut my hair, stopped shaving, and I wear 2-3 sports bras a day (unhealthy I know)

I started here:

And am here so far:

But uhhh anyways yeah this post isn't really for anyone but myself I just wanna document how far I've come and how far I'm going to gooooo <33

[jungnoir]

how are u ? and what time zone are u in ? im in pa and its 5 min to midnight rn !! It's hard for me to feign excitement bc I'm so tired but I really feel u abt this political climate it's so tiring to be an active constituent :( happy new year tho !!.-hn anon

HAPPY NEW YEAR HAZELNUUUUUUUUUUT

i’m in central time so it’s currently 11:20 where i am, so i’m close! idk why but you know those things where its like “put your music on shuffle and the first song that plays is how the new year will go” kinda thing? well @joyfulgem had one on her instastory so i copied it and the first song that played for me is baby by astro so i got!! childishly happy lol cause i love that song and the lyrics are cute so it’s nice to imagine 2018 will feel like baby makes me feel

and ahh yeah, we can only hope it gets better from here! i heard some comforting words from this pastor my mom is listening to and he was talking about how every seven years back in Ye Olde Bible times any debts that you had to pay to a debt collector was dropped and he related it to like life and how we should all just try to release whatever has been holding us down, whether we’ve been holding something against someone else or someone else has been holding something against us. idk it made me feel pretty calm?? so hopefully it can bring you (or anyone else who reads this) some peace for the new year!!!

[sstarkiid]

do all of the lovesick asks bitch. expose urself

wow, ok.

read more thing bc this is long and embarrassing

1: Do you have a current crush?

Two actually but who's counting

2: How long has your crush lasted?

Uhh a few months n then the other one is weird i can't answer that lmao

3: 5 songs that you have associated with your crush?

I'm……..not that sappy I can give u like one

Ice prince : Runaways by ATL

Space boy : Stars by Fun.

4: Do you think they've ever liked you back?

I mean. It's very likely.

5: Will you ever reveal your feelings to them?

Yea probably

6: What’s holding you back from making a move?

It's not that I haven't made a move but like. I am Fear.

7: Are you frightened by your feelings for them?

A lil

8: Do you think they could ever love you?

Maybe???? but i’m kind of an optimist

9: Do you love them?

Lol next question

10: Have you ever had a crush on someone you really shouldn't?

DEFINITELY. I CAN'T NAME ANYONE SPECIFICALLY BUT THE ANSWER IS PROBABLY YES.

11: Do you think anyone currently has a crush on you

...IT'S VERY LIKELY.

12: Ever had a crush on what you thought was a platonic friend?

Hi Jared

13: What would you do if your crush revealed they felt the same?

I'd probably need a second to process it but like probably hug ‘em idfk

14: Has your crush ever hurt you?

Nope!!!!

15: Have they made you cry by breaking your heart?

Nope!!!!!!!!!

16: Why do you like them?

Ice prince is fun to tease idk we go back n forth a lot but he's also a softie n listen he's dramatic enough to keep up w/ me

Space boy tells u like it is and he seems kinda scary or not,, nice at first maybe but he's actually also soft !!

They're also both hot as hell oh my god

17: Do you think you'll ever get over them?

I mean. If I had to I would but...  I don't WANT TO.

18: Do you have 1 specific song that is strongly associated with a certain memory or interaction with them?

Mmm not really?? Not yet?? It'll happen dw

19: The moment you knew you had feelings for them?

We both got scared of the firework finale on the 4th and I squeaked and he like held onto me n it was really funny n cute n I was just like “ok this is a thing now great”

Uhh I was doing the typical girl thing where I send screenshots of a conversation to a friend only the friend is his sister so………..i blame her it’s literally all her fault

20: What would they have to do for you to stop liking them?

Murder someone probably

Or y'know

Something equally as shitty n illegal

21: Have you ever fallen asleep with them?

Yea. Both. Napping is cool.

22: Held their hand?

Mmhm! Both but like that's not that weird

23: Kissed their cheek?

Yup. Both.

24: Kissed them on the lips?

Yeah. Both. Actually.

25: Gone down on them/ they've gone down on you?

N O P E

26: Had sex with them?

Nuh-uh.

27: Where on your body have they touched you?

This is…. A weird question I don't like it

28: Does their touch set your skin on fire?

Fire.

Ice prince.

Fire.

HM.

29: Do you get butterflies when they touch you?

Ok maybe

30: Do they make you smile like no one else can?

Y e a

31: Does their presence calm you?

Mmhmm.

32: Does it make you go crazy being around them and not 'being with' them?

Not… until recently but---

33: Are you friends with your crush?

Both of ‘em!

34: Have you always been friends?

Uhh I guess w/ Ice prince yes but not the other one

35: Last thing they messaged you about?

One was abt a dog, other one was abt coming over to hang out

36: Best phone call with them?

Hands down any call when I've been driving so I make my brother talk to them instead those are always fun

37: Last time you hung out with them?

I. I literally started answering this in one of their houses.

38: Ever been drunk together?

I DON'T DRINK

39: Fondest memory of them?

The fireworks show n then probs a few days ago when we just drove around n talked abt stuff

40: Ever made a mistake with them?

Mistake??????????? i don’t make those

41: Regretted not making a move?

Every day of my life but also I have literally kissed both of them so which is the truth

42: If you could go back in time to that moment, what would you do?

Nothing ‘cause I'm a big baby

43: Do you think that would change your current relationship with them?

Nope

44: If you could get a 100% honest answer from them, what 3 questions would you ask?

ok first FUCK THIS QUESTION

Ice prince

Do u. Actually wanna date or am I just the most gullible person ever

.......................so how do you feel about polyamory

Do u actually hate the puns or do u secretly enjoy them I need to know.

Space boy

Are you aware that you can literally text me for anything at any time?? Bc u should be

Were you ever afraid to talk to me?

Will you promise to talk to me before doing stupid shit so that at the very least i can tell u that ur an idiot,,, but like. affectionately.

45: Did they wish you Happy Birthday on your birthday?

My birthday is in like another month and I didn't know either of them really last year so they better

46: Have they ever tried to make a move?

?????????

Idk tbh

47: If so why did you miss it?

‘Cause I'm clueless as hell

48: Have they ever been infatuated with a friend of yours?

Don't think so

49: Are they single?

Lol yeah they're definitely single

50: Where were you when you felt the most for them?

IT'S ALWAYS WHEN THEY'RE SLEEPING they both just look so cute n peaceful n I get all mushy n wanna protect them but I'm weak as hell so

51: Any specific place you associate with them?

Mmmm not really

52: Films that make you think about them?

Disney films in general

Marvel movies for Ice prince bc NERD

53: Have you picked up a habit because of them?

I don't think so but it's also not unlikely

54: What was your first impression of them?

Ice prince seemed antisocial and idk abt space boy we were like 5 yrs old technically so who knows man

55: Has it altered since then?

LMAO YES

56: Do you remember the first thing you talked about?

Probably musicals bc I can't shut up ever and he was confused

And uhhh no unless u mean like when we started hanging out bc it was candy

57: First time they touched you?

COLD

HE DID IT TO SPITE ME AND IT WAS FUNNY BUT IT WAS SO COLD HOW

And I'm 99% certain I made him high five me before we ever spoke bc I'm a nuisance

58: Have they ever lied to you?

Not that I know of

59: What are their eyes like?

Ohhhhh my GOD

really......clear?? that’s not like. a good way to describe em but u know when u look up at the sky and it’s like. wow there are no clouds!! n then u feel the breeze and it’s kinda cold but it’s not unpleasant it’s?? p nice??? like. that.

cool as FRICK like what the hell i’m actually jealous they’re a rly pretty nice shade n then suddenly it’s!!! different!!!! and it’s like!!!!!!!!!!!!! a surprise a v good surprise which is fitting u just gotta look a lil and he’s full of lil surprises

60: What are you most attracted to about them?

well,, for one they’re both hot as hell, so. that. in general.

if u know anything abt me i’m a sucker for pretty eyes

i also like the “soft but pretends to not be” because i think it’s cute they’re also really good to cuddle with

61: Can you see a future with them?

well i can’t see one without ‘em so something’s gotta give here right?

62: Have you sabotaged things between you two?

i freaking hope not

63: Why? What were you afraid of achieving? Love? Happiness? Content? Disappointment?

why does this thing assume you said yes to the above question that’s kinda rude

64: Could they make you happy?

already do

65: Do you dream about them?

if we’re friends and you haven’t appeared in one of my dreams and done smth weird or random are we actually friends??

side note does daydreaming count LOL

66: What's something that only you two do?

i don’t think i “gently bully” anyone nearly as much as i do ice prince also the only one who actually can cuddle w/ me properly in the summer i’m js

uuuummmm go on random drives in the middle of the night so tht zoe can make out w/ ppl instead of texting our sorry asses

67: Does liking them make you feel vulnerable?

you. have. no idea.

68: Have they ever given you anything?

food has definitely been exchanged and shared. i’ve stolen sweaters. uh.

69: Have they ever used you?

.........not that i’m aware of??

70: Have they abused and manipulated you due to your feelings for them?

nO WHAT TH E

71: Have you ever spent quite literally all day and night thinking about them?

that’s......a bit much i might be pathetic and somewhat desperate but like i do kinda have a life

72: Have you ever accidentally nearly walked into moving traffic cause you were thinking about them?

no but i’ve walked into walls because i was tired and thinking abt stuff so that’s a thing i probably have done

73: Ever worn anything knowing it would draw their attention to you?

YEAH LMAO I DO THAT ALL THE TIME IN GENERAL i like attention fight me

74: Have they ever made you feel so safe and content everything else slips away?

y e ah

75: Ever held you so close you could feel their heartbeat?

mmhmm

76: Truthfully do you think you belong together right now?

[taylor swift’s you belong with me playing in the distance]

77: Have they ever seen you completely vulnerable?

um. no.

78: Do you trust them?

i would trust all of my friends with my life

79: When you see them what feelings are strongest?

i just get?? really happy n i turn into a little kid i swear to god how does he put up with me

n he makes me feel really calm n content n just. good. u know.

80: Are they in love or interested in someone else?

d e a r l o r d i h o p e n o t

81: If they asked you to kiss them, would you?

in a heartbeat

82: Will they be in your life a year from now?

they BETTER BE

83: A moment where you so nearly gave into your feelings for them and did something about it?

i have literally kissed both of them and not because of dares what kind of,,

84: Do they know you have feelings for them?

i’m not exactly,,, subtle

85: Do you have a favourite picture with them?

no but i have favorite pictures of them

86: Your ideal date with them?

hey. concept. a double date. but like. instead of 2 couples it’s just me w/ both of them wow

87: What's their name?

it’s rly obvious that i’m talking about porter and connor fuck you

88: Have you ever been in their room?

i’ve been in connor’s but porter n i mostly chill other places

89: Shared a secret with them?

yeah but it’s not a secret if i tell the internet now is it?

90: Have they ever made you a promise and broken it?

don’t think so

91: Have they ever disappointed you?

nope!

92: Whats the most problematic thing about them, which you overlook due to your feelings for them?

uh. idk. porter’s kinda closed off to other people at first i guess that could be problematic. i’m patient w/ that shit so it doesn’t bug me as much idk

general relationships or lack thereof w/ other ppl tbh for both of them i think 

93: Have you ever had to compete for their affection?

no

94: For as long as they're in your life could you handle just being friends?

that’s what i do with p much everyone else but another way to approach this is if u couldn’t be together would u shut them out and the answer is no?? bc that’s kinda shitty

so yes

95: Ever looked for a sign to make a move?

every?? single second of every day but once again i have literally kissed both of them uh

96: What's standing in your way from being with them?

general anxiety

a single conversation

...lmao

97: Would you let them use you for sex?

this implies that,, they don’t care abt me and only themselves n they’re not really?? like that so?? it wouldn’t happen like that??

realistically knowing myself i wanna say no but i probably would which is Not Good i know

98: Ever had a bad feeling about them that's screaming for you to get out while you still can?

no. like. literally the opposite. wtf

99: If you could go back in time, would you avoid ever meeting them?

NEVER

100: You have 1 wish about them, what would you wish for?

that porter finds someone who makes him feel warm n fuzzy on the inside even if it’s not me

n for connor that one day everything is stable and everything is ok

anyway hey jared U SUCK