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bluzebub19 · 2 hours ago
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hello! can i request viktor or jayce with a reader who has autism and doesnt speak but is good at science?
Writer's note: Hello! Thanks so much for your request! This is like the first request I got and I already started on it. Hope you like it! Any tips with writing are very much appreciated!
Warnings: None, just fluffy stuff. Not proofread.
Pairing/s: Viktor x GN! reader who's autistic and nonverbal but loves science
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Platonic Headcanons
● As a mentor or colleague, Viktor respects you a lot. He encourages your work and never underestimates your capabilities, treating you as an equal in every sense.
● He enjoys the calmness you bring to the lab, and he appreciates the efficiency and focus you put into your work
● Viktor is protective in his own way. If anyone tries to belittle or patronize you, he’s quick to step in. He may not be a physical one, but his words are sharp.
● He takes the time to understand how you prefer to communicate. Whether it’s through notes, gestures, or subtle expressions, he adapts because he doesn't want you to feel self-conscious. A feeling he's very familiar with when he views his body, his disease as a weakness.
● Viktor occasionally shares personal anecdotes from his own life, hoping to make you feel more comfortable around him.
●To him, he finds it refreshing to work with someone who sees the world as he does. You make him feel understood in a way that's rare for him.
Romantic Headcanons
• The platonic headcanons, of course, still applies here.
• Viktor truly admires your dedication and love to science, and he often finds himself fascinated by the way you approach and solve problems. He's intrigued as well by your ability to notice patterns and details others overlook. Your perspective makes him think differently, which is why he values your opinion.
• Viktor is patient and observant. He never pushes you to speak, respecting your methods of communication. Instead, he learns to read your body language, small gestures, or the notes you scribble down to express yourself. Even so, he’s comfortable with your silence and finds it peaceful rather than awkward.
• Viktor’s subtle affection shows in little things: placing a blanket over your shoulders when you were too focused on work and fell asleep on your desk, or saving the last of your favorite snacks for you.
• When he realizes his feelings for you, it’s a quiet epiphany. He isn't one to confess dramatically, he shows his affection through mostly his actions. A touch on your hand, a gentle smile when you accomplish something—he hopes you notice. Though, that's not to say his words aren't beautiful to hear when it rolls of his tongue. He manages to sound like a poet with how he describes his feelings without even saying "I love you." Because to him, those words are an understatement.
• If you reciprocate, Viktor treasures your love like it’s the most precious discovery he’s ever made. He cherishes every small moment with you and continues to support you in every way he can.
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chronologically-challenged · 5 months ago
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I think that the party's communication issues can be summed up as "man, is it awkward to tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them if you've only know them for a few months? Probably."
#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#listen they will kill for each other but also its such a short time???? like??? thats part of the tragedy tbh#like!!! yeah theyll go back to their previous lives bc who in their right minds throw out everything they were doing before for people youv#only known for a few months and it turns out all of them do bc theyre insane for each other but!!!! like!!!! thats still a big ask!!!!!#yeah lets throw out everything we've ever know to be together lets fucking go and then they do in the end!!!! but!!!#thats because theyre all are ride or die to the extreme for each other!!!!!! far more than siffrin thinks anyone will ever be for him!!!!#anyway I have a lot of feelings about the party and just how bonkers (affectionate) they are#yeah no siffrin I too would not expect people to put aside their previous lives especially if its clear they have other plans#'yeah im gonna invite myself over to your house to live here lol' yeah no I would not assume that!!!!!!!#the issue is more that issue doesnt communicate what he really wants because if they do and his family says no then... being together truly#will end so he doesnt ask so they never will get a no so it never has to end (and has his reason to keep going)#this is turning into an essay in the tags but like. God its a wild set of circumstances so#tbh Siffrin not thinking the party wants to travel together is not wild to me neither is family not communicating#them wanting to be together ALL OF THEM wanting it is... unbelivable in these circumstances#but they do bc theyre all insane and ride or die but the extent of which is a mystery to all of them#anyway thats my essay in the tags#just read the no loops fic where the adults minus siffrin all offer to bring bonnie to bambouche and had FEELINGS about it#my posts
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oceanwithouthermoon · 5 months ago
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okay some people genuinely really need to accept that the ONLY "queer coding" in saiki k is when they make gay jokes. there is NO other intentional queer coding, and i think people dont understand that claiming rep where it isnt there is much much more harmful than you think it is... just headcanon! its fun! you guys act like youre going to fucking die if you ship/hc something not canon, so you convince everyone that everything you say is canon ☠️ its literally insane
theres a HUGE difference between a headcanon or ship having what YOU see as canon backing, and a hc or ship that is actually implied or canon...
the only ship that you could argue is implied in saiki k is terusai, thats literally it, you could potentially make an argument that yumekai could be reciprocated towards the end, satoumiya, or MAYBE mikosai, but im pretty sure thats it...
nonbinary saiki is one of my personal favorite headcanons (one of the only ones i pretty much ALWAYS have in mind when talking or writing about him, it's practically a given) and i think it has pretty good canon backing, but its not ACTUALLY implied.
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hes FAIRLY certain that his biological sex is male, and all evidence points to that, but he doesnt know and specifically says that he doesnt know what his true gender is... he clearly has absolutely zero discomfort with masculinity OR femininity, doesnt know or care about his gender, and is comfortable with either sex... he seems very happy to just be either...
seems like pretty solid evidence, but you also have to realize that there is literally zero chance that the author intended for saiki to be read as nonbinary, or trans in any way, this was literally just an excuse for plot and to have a reason to take advantage of his shapeshifting to do crossdressing/genderbend chapters ☠️ i love to see it as him being nonbinary and i think it has a lot of backing, but its not canon or even "implied" at all.
theres a lot of other examples of this kind of thing in this fandom, like theres a lot of people who claim that kubokai are queer coded (its usually just a joke when people say things like "hehe my ship is so canon" but im talking about like... people who see yumekai and go "um 🤨 this is LITERALLY homophobic because erm um kubokai are basically canon and queer coded and you shipping one of them with a WOMAN is HOMOPHOBIC" lmfao) and i am actually just not even sure where this comes from because they dont have anything that can even be twisted into romantic subtext, theyre just a popular ship because they have a good friendship. which is great! but theyre like the LAST thing i wouldve expected people to claim as implied or canon. they are absolutely not. the only thing i can even think of that might make people think that is saiki saying they look gay in that one chapter ☠️
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jadecantcreate · 2 months ago
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in the whitchlite carinval. straight up “caking it.” and by “it”, haha, well. lets justr say. My chad
(some gideon exploration & little doodles)
#ok i think i might be obsessed with freeform#its just…so low stakes yk?#and very simple#idk its nice to use for little things like this#it was supposed to be some ideas for day 18 of loa shiptober (tattoo artist/florist)#but i got sidetracked#what can i say#gideon lovers (cough cough dragon cough) enjoy your mans <3#i really like how the half body shot came out#gideons body type is so nice to draww idk why?#i definitely draw too many skinny ppl (i love you kremy but you’re literally built like a wine glass) so i enjoy some more variety i guess#conflicted over how the portrait came out#do i like it? do i not like it? who knows…what a mystery….certainly not me……..#i should probably draw torbek frost and gricko more#but my mind is preoccupied with middle aged man yaoi#speaking of middle aged man yaoi…….#ive embraced the cringe within (its dead! if youre not hurting anyone do what you want!!)#and written my second coalecroux fic (shoutout to my beloved mutual szare for beta reading it!!!!) and im in the process of polishing it up#so….stay tuned……#will probably draw a Specific Scene (tm) because im proud of it like a toddler is proud of their silly cute crayon scribbles on the wall#ALSO#thank you to the person who pointed out to me that gideon doesnt actually canonically have uneven horns its just hair#i have elected to adopt the uneven horns thing regardless because IMPERFECTIONS RAHHH#theyre more fun to draw for me#ok ill stop rambling now#thanks for reading <3#once upon a witchlight#legends of avantris#gideon coal#ouaw
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camelspit · 1 month ago
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Keeper Sexymen 2025: Artist Portrait Signups
The Sexyman Contest is back for its 3rd year! Each year, artists sign up to make portraits of all of the men for the Keeper Sexymen Contest. This form will be open from Nov 21 - Nov 29, and I'll release the portrait assignments on the 30th. You will have until Feb 9 to complete the portraits and turn them in!
(alphabetized) List of men + Info about portrait submissions and rules below the cut! If you have any questions, feel free to message me :).
Alden Vacker
Alvar Vacker
Barth the Reaper
Behnam Aria
Blur
Boobrie Dude
Coach Bora
Bo
Brant [REDACTED]
Councillor Bronte
Bullhorn
Cadfael
Cassius Sencen
Councillor Darek
King Dimitar
Durand Redek
Elwin Heslege
Councillor Emery
King Enki
Ethan Benedict Wright II
Fallon Vacker
Fintan Pyren
Gethen Ondsinn
Grady Ruewen
Greyfell
Iggy
Jurek
Councillor Kenric
Kesler Dizznee
Marty
Mr Forkle
Mr Snuggles
Mr Sweeney
Councillor Noland
Prentice Endal
Quan Song
Quinlin Sonden
Ruy Ignis
Sandor
Councillor Terik
Tiergan Alenefar
Timkin Heks
Trix
Watson
William Foster
Woltzer
Wraith
Yuri
When you finish your portraits, you can post them and tag me in them and/or message them directly to me! The choice is yours <3 as long as I get them sometime before or on Feb 9. If you think your submission might be late or you need to drop out, please message me as soon as possible!
RULES:
I dont care how big it is but please use a SQUARE canvas. This makes the posts a lot easier to format <3
Portrait is a broad term- you can draw however much of the man you want in whatever post you want, whether it be full body or just the head
It does not have to be entirely canon accurate! You can add your own hcs (ex. poc vackers), it just has to be identifiable as the character
Have fun!!!
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mohntilyet · 23 days ago
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not to mention the entire antaam fleet like 😭 that was the PERFECT moment to show off what the lords could do!!! The antaam fucked over rivain, theyve been a thorn in the whole nations side for a long time now, they would not pass up a chance for payback via full scale naval warfare so that the veilguard can do what they need to!! Sure dreadnoughts are dangerous but at this point they probably have tricks up their sleeve, thats one of the few things they have!
also wouldn't it be personal because does solas not try to blow up kont-aar because he's trying to 5d chess tevinter and the qunari into destroying each other. like. i know technically this would not be incredible widespread news because the attack was stopped, but i don't think the wonderful citizens of kont-aar would have missed the tsunami that nearly hit them and the shockwave that actually hit them. rumors go around. and i assume irian/vadis tell varric. who i think would tell isabela. who would tell the group she leads. who would care because ofc, they LIVE IN RIVAIN, and now know that solas and his followers thinks they can trade rivaini lives* to further his plans.
*while i also think there's probably a divide between kont-aar and the rest of the nation, it's one that the rivaini love to jump across and back over. an interesting comparison to be made here with most of rivain having similar sentiments towards dairsmuid and the chantry. like this is the country specifically mentioned to have a lot of citizens who follow the qun/are non-andrastian + it being MUCH more multicultural and accepting than other nations. any attack on rivain, even if it's a qunari settlement, would fan a lot of flames that solas cannot put out so the idea of trying to him taking multiple steps back because he didn't realise how intensely the qun/rivaini/lords would react is very fun for me. it would have been soo interesting for rivain to be a hub for efforts against solas because of how it's not influenced by andrastianism, how he (or his agents) specifically fucked them over, and (maddeningly for solas) also part of this resistance has spirits who willingly guide them against him. this could have even been a plot device where the door goes both ways and solas finds out rook's plans because he manages to eavesdrop through a seer or something.
and on the spirits. all the stuff where the mourn watch regularly communicates with spirits could have been done with rivain as well, and with different takes on being 'friendly' with spirits. iirc there's a spirit in the hall of valor which is so interesting but it's literally just there for flavour text. THERE'S A SPIRIT IN THE HALL OF VALOR THAT DOES NOTHING BESIDES LIKE. SAY HI. ??? bioware i would have liked to see more spirits and seers and the matriarchal pantheists you have talked about please. and also the idea of the peaceful qunari settlement being pushed to protect the country they are part of and what that means for them as qunari vs. rivaini. taash's storyline could have contributed to this . so A LOT less about choosing a side, more about how kont-aar has developed, changed, how rivain has influenced it and what it means to be qunari. not the qunari agents and fighters that we have seen, but their 'civillian' way of life in kont-aar.
complete waste not seeing any of established lore reflected in the lords of fortune or rivain because i stupidly actually thought we were going to see some kind of settlement and be introduced to a very different cultural norms.. in my beautiful mind i like to think taash is a little taken aback by how badly mages/elves/etc are treated. like they understood it was different outside of rivain (they would have been young when the dairsmuid circle annulment happened right? so they don't 'remember' it themself, they likely heard others talking about it when they're old enough to understand) but until they actually saw what was happening first hand, they had a weird dissonance about it. but what we got was a deserted beach, ties to another faction (wardens are fine!! they are great !!!! the fourth blight is interesting!!!! yet they are not the faction with a lack of info about them!!!!!) and also the hall of valor that exists as flavor text with nothing meaningful behind it besides a pub used in a few cutscenes and a minigame.
#it's just hard to discuss the qunari in general when it is so obviously written to be quote unquote bad#and theyre like. in veilguard. really just reduced to being an invading force. which they were before. but there's literally nothing else#not a single character that explains more about the qun or how it operates + the game presenting choices about taash#that obviously lean towards favoring rivain. god knows why. its not like we know enough about it to choose it#even a quick peek into a rivaini lifestyle would have been helpful. all we know are from lorebooks !!!!#its actually like. 'qun would have made taash into a weapon/they are actively invading treviso/theyre working w ghil+el/shathaan' etc#and then on rivain's side the points are just 'umm. well the lords are super nice. and love freedom... and its also NOT qunari!'#there ARE reasons to pick rivain just none of them are in the fuck ass game. no one who doesnt read the books would know this shit#does anyone know why the antaam are acting outside of their orders. i dont rmb if this was explained or if its supposed to be like#a very severe response to solas and defying orders to 'deal' with a threat?#but god. kont-aar as it exists is so interesting. maybe elements of like .#'the main qun ignore the changes in kont-aar/rivain because it's such an important part of their trade' situation. idk#i just cant see a lot of the extremely rigid qun followings actually meshing with this extremely 'accepting' culture that is in rivain#eg. rivaini seers allowing possessions vs. sareebas#but its said that the rivaini pantheists actually have lots in common with the teachings of the qun (?)#and again. its peaceful. most of the issues that are mentioned in games/etc are to do with the ORLESIAN chantry causing issues in rivain#so it just. makes me think. maybe things have changed and there's a blind eye to whatever happens in kont-aar#or if there are more hostilities or issues caused by their differing beliefs then it would be good to fucking like. hear about it#plus the qun in general is just. worldbuilding standpoint is like. what. im not a guy who knows too much about this part of da lore so#i had to fact check a few things while writing this response and some of the answers were like#just so unbelievable that im choosing to do whatever i want#anyways. sorry. got out of hand. let me know if anything i said isnt true#its entirely possible. my knowledge of rivain is patchwork but this is probably to do with the fact there's not a lot. yeah#god. i have to stop talking now. thank u anon for agreeing w me. sorry u asked me about the lords and i took it as an excuse#to air out my issues w rivain. because tyche was partially built up around that and then none of it even mattered#veilguard spoilers#answered#rivain
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xxplastic-cubexx · 1 month ago
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Pet store clerk gives Charles a bag of free treats for his ""dog"" all while Charles can feel Erik Looming in the BG
the real mortifying day is after months of getting small bags of dog treats one day the bag of dog treats has like. perfectly normal human candies/pastries or something inside
Of Course charles is confused and impulsively asks what it is/how it's different from the usual only for the clerk to reply theyre Whatever Erik's Favorite Treat Is and its that day forward erik is adamant they just do their shopping online
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vivitalks · 11 months ago
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more adhd jason grace or die by my sword
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natsmagi · 1 month ago
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adding onto my last rant from a while ago a little bit, it is fascinating how many people in this fandom completely miss the point of tsumugis character and misconstrue what hes actually about which, ironically, is just what eichi did. and its done in such a similar fashion too, such as making assumptions about his motives, his family relationship, and missing the point in why he chooses to look the way he does. and, time and time again, eichi has been proven to be WRONG about tsumugi. he misunderstood him deeply, and now its eichi whos stuck mourning the past while tsumugi has long since moved on, not the other way around, as tsumugi is on the path of getting his happy ending. and i dont get why people keep trying to take this positivity from him
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(s. element epilogue 2)
#sorry for harping on this stuff alot it just genuinely sucks seeing a character you love be so widely misunderstood#especially when if you really think about it#tsumugi is about as blunt and honest as they come#you dont always need to read deeper into a character. you dont always need to psychoanalyze every part of them#you dont need to reason everything#sometimes people just Are Some Kind Of Way#and eichi failed to understand that and made the wrong assumption about tsumugi#and i feel like this fandom keeps doing the same thing#because he can do and say unconventional things#and when he makes jokes he sounds super alarming or like an utter freak#its frustrating when people continuously doubt tsumugis words when he speaks so earnestly about his life#hes honest to a fault. he has no reason to lie#you can argue that “ohhh tsumugi just doesnt realize how fucked up he is!” and like Yea sure theres an element of that#but ive always read the point of his character to be him overcoming these hardships#because he cares so fucking deeply about every single person around him#and he never assumes malice. because he is such a genuinely kind hearted guy#and what makes tsumugi so interesting is that he can kind of SUCK at getting that across#because no matter what people never understand his actions or intents because of how weirdly he acts#and neither does this fandom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#natsume and tsumugi are built on being opposites. if natsume is a known liar surely we can put two and two together?#theres alot more that can be said on this topic and ive been meaning to for a while but honestly i just dont have the energy or brainpower#also i dont want this to read like im yucking anyones yum. its just frustrating as someone who is very mentally ill about these characters#he has clearly endured traumas too like im not ignoring that. its super obvious. but his character is about love and growth#you can go through literal HELL and be on the brink of SUICIDE and still end up a happy loving and forgiving person#and i think thats what his character is about#nat rambles#nats enst posting
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sapphorror · 1 year ago
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my top controversial Zim headcanon is that Zim actually performs absurdly well at skool because
1. he's a perfectionist with a compulsive reaction to ANY system of scoring
2. I 100% believe test scores are this guy's forte because he had to become an Invader SOMEHOW and he sure as hell wasn't passing based on the practical
3. He has hyper-advanced alien AI to do his homework for him. like come on.
meanwhile Dib is really only scraping by on raw intelligence and the inherent educational advantage of having a mad scientist father. He doesn't have TIME to study, there's an evil alien he has to stalk and besides, you know what's better than a high school diploma? The Nobel Peace Prize for proving the existence of extraterrestrial life.
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reel-fear · 22 hours ago
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If you want my opinion, I think we should give Lone Wolf the benefit of the doubt, yes it does look a little bit cheap in some areas but the game does look pretty fun and both the art and characters are still on point. Alice and Sammy are also returning so that’s a plus! I think it’s best that we stay optimistic for this game and Bendy’s future.
That's fair and I respect your opinion, I think my thing is I'm worried people are too optimistic about Bendy's future games being better than the ones they've already created because the team behind Bendy is very anti-listening to feedback. Which means it's likely these games won't improve unless fans make a bigger push to be more critical of them and show the devs they won't spend their money unless the team can prove they care about this franchise and aren't gonna let the polish drain just because it makes more money.
I criticize Bendy not because I want it to die or be bad, I only do it because I hope one day either 1. A competitor rises up and gives the fans essentially a better version of Bendy that they deserve and they can use my feedback and others to see where it can be improved. or 2. The bendy team listens to my feedback and the general fandom's to make future games better. Plus generally get their act together.
As it stands the trailer is rushed and cheap, which is bad because a trailer for a game should be the most polished part of the affair. I mean this is what is supposed to convince people to buy the game when it comes out! I had the same problems with The Cage and I'm unhappy to see this becoming a pattern. [I mean that's a game I'm even more confident is going to horribly crash and burn cause I honestly don't know why'd they make a midquel to a game which everyone hated the ending of-]
Look. I understand some people feel a sort of loyalty to the Bendy devs, it's hard not to feel like you're in some sort of friendship when it comes to such a small indie team. But at the end of the day you have to remember defending them when they mess up only gives them more reasons to ignore feedback and most of all you don't know Mike or Meatly as people outside of what they Choose to show in their public image. So when the public image they've crafted is one that's bad and leaves people worried about how the games they're making are gonna turn out. Nobody can be blamed but them. And if you really care about them and/or Bendy it's better to boost feedback even if it's negative.
Like sure Sammy and Malice are returning but look at the treatment they got in Dark Revival! Meatly and Mike have never addressed how poorly done the original characters were in that game and I think it's cause far as they're concerned it was perfectly fine and people are complaining about nothing. [That or enough people didn't seem to care for it to matter to them whether that point was valid or not] Despite the fact Sammy was shot down for a gag after finally speaking up [and was in a ton of Dark Revival marketing material] and Malice was nothing more than a rip off of her chapter 3 self with no interesting changes, we never got to hear her thoughts on how the world is doing, on how she feels now hearing her enemy, the ink demon, was supposedly killed, or on Wilson, the keepers, etc. I mean it was a huge waste and with the promise Sammy will be 'restored to his Chapter 2 glory' I want to call this poor writing out now rather than wait for the cage to come out and pretend I never saw it coming.
Criticism is a good thing for Bendy, we should embrace it rather than shunning or discouraging it. I hope most of us can agree on that. Even if I seem harsh, I would rather lean towards that, than risk going too easy with my words and being ignored by the devs.
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buddietommys · 2 months ago
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"Why not?"
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"I wish you were a girl."
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#hughlander#at first i thought of hughie saying the first quote but the more i thought about it the more it made sense for it to be john HEAR ME OUT..#he was obviously trained to only enjoy the whole “american dream” so ofc that picture perfect look for him would be a woman next to him#while he himself is a piece of shit and cares only about his image he also just doesnt give a shit#(based on his behavior l8r on in the show) he also just doesnt care what anyone has to say especially since in his eyes he is THE strongest#no one can say anything to him and hes untouchable..which is why his odd obsession with hughie will prove to be zero issue#and while he tries to make a connection with hughie in his own overly possesive way hughie holds himself firm with his actions#(lowkey where things gets ooc oh well idc) homelander does try and make SOME sort of attempt in picking at his brain anf at hughie as to#figure out WHY he even is interested in “that loser” and in doing so he eventually finds that hughie for whatever stupid reason#notices that he GENUINELY does care about people and that its not some front like he really does and TRY to see some good in people#so john opens up slightly to him about what people at vought did to him as a kid and its those moments where homelander tries to make it-#light buy hughie looks at him and i mean really /looks/ at him and says “jesus thats fucked Im sorry” and john is absolutely dumbfounded#like so dumbfounded and the god honest yet short comment in regards to him opening up about his past#essentially john starts to feel what he always imagined what “feelings” are supposed to be and after a long time of him and hughie oddly#finding some sort of “middle ground” he tries to pull a move in a moment of odd peace amongst the two and hughie jerks back#john is so confused and i mean REALLY confused#he thought he read all those “signals” right based on the romantic films he was forced to watch why is hughie acting like this?#he doesnt want to even think about what this pain in his chest is and all he can ask is “why not?”
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phagodyke · 2 months ago
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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neolxzr · 1 year ago
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you do see my point though, I was saying that yes a piece of media can have a character imply they are queer, but it’s frustrating when they won’t explicitly confirm such, because of (in the case of… checks app store purchase statistics…. A multi million dollar game franchise!) the need to market to as many people as possible. Shumika will never be “canon” because some people just don’t like shumika and won’t spend money on the game if shu and mika are in a relationship, whether or not that’s because they like the ship or the characters or are genuinely homophobic or whatnot. If the writing team cared about telling a love story, they would tell a love story, not go “well maybe they’re in love, it’s up to viewer interpretation!” like this works, sometimes it adds to the meaning of the work, but enstars really doesn’t have an excuse for their constant “this character might have feelings for this other character, but we’ll never have them say it out loud!” except the fact it makes them a lot of money, since they can market to people who like a character being the way they want that character to be, whether that’s with that character being in love with another in game character or self-shipping or whatever else. Outside of shipping, this is why some characters like Shinobu haven’t changed despite wanting to change (he continuously talks about how he wants to be more mature and taken seriously but his cards continue to make him look small and cute because his fans like that about him and god forbid we change anything!) I just think enstars should not be your first thought when someone asks you about a good piece of queer media because they’re doing just about the same job as large cast games with characters of the same gender (minus Arashi) who continue to have characters go “we’ll do all these things to imply we could be in love, but we’ll never have our characters actually date! teehee!”
i can understand being frustrated about your ships not being "confirmed", but the obsession with what is "canon" and "not canon" is just straight up not a very interesting discussion to have. what happyele's or the writers' agenda is is not of particular importance to me. one of the first things they teach you in classes about media analysis is that once a work is out there, the intentions of the creator no longer matter. the only thing that matters in your analysis is your own thoughts and the way you interpret a text.
if we were having a conversation about how much the creator of something sucks, then sure, talk about that all you want, but i am specifically referring to discussions about the piece of media and these characters and their relationships and their growth and the themes of the work etc. those things are removed from whether or not the company writes the way they do because of profit motives or whatever. companies make money, that's just what to expect. if you want art that is free of profit motives, read something by an independent creator.
even so, it feels strange to place enstars into the bucket of "stuff that should be gayer but the bad company that makes it wont let it be" because the characters ARE so very openly queer. there are so many instances in it where characters pour their heart out to each other or offer themselves to another character in beautiful and poetic ways, and i think it's wrong to claim it doesn't count because they didn't confirm their relationship status at the end of it. if you ask me, there is absolutely no way to interpret enstars in a way completely free of queerness. there is so much explicitly queer text that ignoring it is just plain incorrect. but, if homophobic people like this game and choose to look the other way at all of the gay shit, again, that is not my problem.
why is canonization the only thing that matters? is a shitty BL with awful writing better and more worthwhile than enstars as a queer narrative because the characters had explicit gay sex on screen? are poorly written gay characters in the background of other media with nothing going on more worth talking about than shumika or wataei or rinniki or whoever else just because they say the words 'i'm gay' out loud?
queerness is so much more than all of that. it is so much more than labels and it is so much more than relationships that are easy to understand. it is so much more than the extremely narrow view of it that the internet has concocted about it over the last few years, where you’re only allowed to talk about queerness if you yourself are openly queer and out of the closet, and even then you’re only allowed to make art that makes for “good representation.” that is just so incredibly limiting. i would rather tons of companies who are trying to profit off fujoshis make vaguely gay media with unconfirmed romances and relationships that aren't easily defined by labels than have less queer art in the world.
more queer art means more queer people who will find something to really connect to. more queer art means telling more queer stories. why should who is allowed to write lgbtq media be limited? why should the kind of media people are allowed to make be limited?
its fine to criticize happyelements if youre unsatisfied with the way they do things, im not always 100% in love with everything they do either. i wouldn't even consider enstars to be the worlds' best example of a queer piece of media. but no one is forcing you to like or engage with it or give the company money if you're unhappy with how they write and market their game. they don't owe anyone explicit confirmation that any of their characters are dating, and it doesn't even matter if they do provide that confirmation or not.
regardless of who made it or for what reason, queer stories are worth talking about, "canon" or not.
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the way ailette and tesilid never talk about their dislike for the strict order is so funny and GNRHRNGHRHGH because the comments sections have been going "hey tesilid have you heard about this banging new religion!!!" since like the first chapter tesilid was introduced. and she still hasn't said a thing about it.
like. "tesilid is a strict follower of the strict order", "tesilid is part of the heretical judgement bureau", blablabla listen!!! when you asked him to hide your identity as saint he said okay without hesitation!! it wasn't a flimsy decision either, he said "go home to your family"! that's what he believes in, not in the rules in and of themselves!! shakes ailette by the shoulders he was TEN when he did that, he's been a rule breaker and heretic shielder and strict order disliker since before you met!!!!!! and he's only going to become moreso when he grows older and the strict order and heretical judgement bureau puts him through more and more shit! !
and then tesilid himself doesn't make it super duper explicit that he's a strict order hater because he wants to stay on ailette's good side. and she's a huge fan of the god she serves, who as far as he can tell is the strict order bc there isn't any other god in-universe.
GAH!
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danielnelsen · 5 months ago
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ok today's bug discovery: the fade-touched nevarrite ability that makes the target explode on death says it does 75% weapon damage, but im pretty sure it actually does 200%
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