#if anyone can find it i’d be happy to edit the post and credit the photographer :(

[tedzyrotten]

why is iii an actual giant

[multi-fandomsfreak]

( @gbslament )

Hello!

I am really a fan of your fanfic so I would REALLY like to see a GB x (really whoever you feel like shipping him to, like MX) since, seeing those fanfics, i was super inspired in my writing!

If you do this request, thank you so much, it means the world to me!

GB x MX Relationship HC’s

Hey there! Thanks for the ask!

Honestly I’m really grateful that I’m able to inspire someone else’s writing. It really makes me feel accomplished in some way that I’m able to do it. I know I might not be able to fully express my gratitude for it but trust me when I say that I truly mean it.

Normally I wouldn’t do Character x Character fics but I’d figure I can use this request as some sort of testing ground to see if I actually like it. Plus I wanted to use this as a way to show my appreciation. Hope you like it.

Also please don’t harass anyone for liking said ship. I know this won’t be everyone ideal ship due to reasons and that’s fine but I don’t appreciate people harassing and attack others for it. As long as the ship is not illegal in anyway I don’t mind it. If you don’t like it then simply don’t interact or read this post. Blaze/Dawn

Pronouns: He/Him (For Both GB and MX)

Warning: ❌

Requested: Yes/No

Characters: GB + MX

Proofread: ❌

Credits: Art by hellhoundclown on Tumblr + Banner by sweethzme (Edited By Me) on Pinterest

———————————

- Oddly enough these two can actually get along with each other. You would’ve thought that some cocky entity and some oversized murderous giant wouldn’t get along but they actually do. Despite their differences they find ways to get around it. Honestly it's kind of weird to some people how extremely close these two are with each other. Do they care? Nope, not a single bit. If they got a problem with the two of them then too bad. They fully plan on expressing it no matter the situation or how times other people have told them to get a room.

- I feel like out of the two GB would be the one to be the more flirty/romantic one out of the two. Not to say MX doesn’t have his times when the roles are reversed. I just think GB would be the most likely one to be more open about it. I mentioned this in my relationship headcanons of him that he’s both flirty and clingy. This pretty much applies to whoever he’s in a relationship with. He just loves to get in people’s spaces, especially MX’s. Not that MX necessarily minds. I mean he does prefer his personal space but he also likes to just cuddle with GB. It honestly really depends on the mood he’s in.

- I like to think that out of the two MX is the better at comforting compared to GB. Arguably sometimes there will be some moments when either of them are self conscious even if the two of them don’t want to admit it. For GB I feel like he would be kind of awkward or panicky when trying to comfort someone but still trying his best. For MX it’s like he has some sort of power and is able to just soothe someone.

- GB is definitely very flirty around MX. It’s mostly out of genuine love or sometimes just to embarrass him. Either reason it definitely gets MX blushing at least a bit which he tries to hide from GB but GB will know even if MX tries to hide it. This causes him to tease MX slightly but it’s all in good heart with him. He’s happy around him and just wants to express it and this is how he chooses to do it. Sometimes he expresses through words or actions but mostly uses his words to express his love.

- In terms of when it comes to the pairs love language I personally think GB love language is quality time, physical touch and words of affirmation. As for MX his love language is also quality time as well as gift giving.

- As to why I think so for GB once again I mentioned this in my relationship hcs of him that he’s surprisingly clingy and this applies to his relationship with MX. He just needs to be in people’s spaces whether it’s in a romantic way e.g. hugging or a platonic way using it as an excuse just to be around someone. I also like to think that likes to hear that someone likes him. Sometimes it’s kind of an ego thing sometimes it’s a need of genuine reassurance that at least someone likes him. He can be a little self conscious sometimes though on a rare occasion.

- As for MX I feel like he can be a little awkward when it comes to things like physical touch. Although he does do it and doesn’t stop people from doing it. He just kind of responds by freezing and just letting the person do it. It isn’t out of trauma or anything that’s just how he reacts. So to make up for it he prefers gifting people. I can imagine him just spending it on GB getting gifts, buying things he knows will put a smile on his face.

- I like to think when MX is feeling in mood he just grabs onto GB and just carry him. Arguable GB is way shorter than MX so obviously theirs going to be a height advantage for MX. He also likes to tease GB about it as he holds a gentle grip on him and say how cute he looks in his hands which ends up making GB slightly sulky but MX kind of likes it when he does. The way GB just pouts at him just makes him look cuter to him.

- Ultimately they are that duo that nobody messes with but can see how loving the two of them can be together.

———————————

[grubbin22]

grubbin, you are probably one of my favorite fic authors of all time-- the way you write scenes, characterize both the canon characters and reader, your ability to imbue emotions, everything is just phenomenal. i've been following your works for a couple years now, since right before chapter 3 of Smooth Operator was released. i remember finding your fic randomly at 1 am and reading through it, just to read through it again right after i finished. and then one more time when i woke up the next day (where a 3rd chapter was waiting for me, like a little treat!) from there, i branched out into the rest of your works, and loved every minute of it. your writing inspires me so much, and i'd love to one day be able to emulate your style

i wanted to send a message to let you know that in my endeavor of getting my friend into your work, i've actually done a couple audio recordings of myself reading your fics! i have some unlisted recordings of the pre-edited Smooth Operator (i'm waiting til edits are complete to redo them and finish the series), but i do have part 1/3 of Unusual Haunts recorded and uploaded on audacity's site (if you wanted to check them out (dont feel obligated to though and if you want me to take them down i will)).

anyway! i just thought i'd say thank you so much for creating your fics and i hope your life is going well! (can you tell ive never sent a tumblr ask before??lmao)

:0 I’ve been staring at this ask in my inbox for a little while just reading it over and over. i hope you know how happy you’ve made me with your words. i can’t believe you’ve been following my works for so long..

sometimes i remember i’ve been posting fics for a while. since 2018 i think? and people will remind me of older works and it’s like a flash to the past. different works i’ve made, or even times when works were at different stages of completion remind me of different phases of my life. it’s been fun! but now i feel old..

i’m so honored you’ve made an audiobook of my works! that’s incredible! i’ll keep editing smooth operator so you can continue recording :D as for my policy on audio recordings..i am happy for anyone to do readings of my work for accessibility or for personal use. go wild! however, you must give me full credit if you post the recording—please link my ao3 and tumblr to it, specifically—and inform me of where you posted it. mostly because i’d like to give it a listen..😊 the only things i do not support are reposting my work, plagiarizing it, taking credit for it, or distributing it for profit in any way, though that should be obvious :)

thank you very much for this ask (especially if it’s your first one!) i’m super grateful to you and to anyone who’s supported my work. i’ll keep doing my best!

lots of love,

grubbin

[detailtilted]

CHICON 2008 Request (and a tiny sample!)

This is a shot in the dark, but I thought I’d ask. Does anyone have a video of any quality, good or bad, that covers the below portions of the CHICON 2008 panels? I have videos for the vast majority of it, but there are a few small gaps annoying me and I'd love to fill them in. If you have something you’d be willing to let me use in my next set of enhanced con videos, please let me know. I would of course give you credit if I use them! Or anonymity if that's what you prefer. Even an audio file could be useful.

If you don't have anything but you're willing to reblog to increase visibility, that would be awesome too. I haven't had any success the few times I've tried to directly contact fans who were posting content back in these early days, so I don't think many are still out there, but I figure it doesn't hurt to ask.

Gap #1: The beginning of Jared’s solo panel, before he starts telling the story about his dogs sleeping with Jensen. I managed to find a very low-quality 30-second video near the beginning where he talks about the fan video that played, but it cuts off. The better-quality videos start just before Jared tells the dog story.

Gap #2: After the J2 panel, immediately after Jared finishes signing the posters and leaves the stage. The videos show Jensen clapping for Jared as he exits, but they cut off mid-clap. The next video picks up post-clap with Jensen saying, “Maybe we should wait ‘til he’s out of the room.” I think there are only a few seconds missing, not really enough to be annoyed by, but... 🤷‍♀️

Gap #3: At the very end of Jensen’s solo panel, as he’s getting ready to leave, he thanks the fans and talks about how many more viewers they've had that season. The last video cuts off before he finishes talking.

Other than that, I have a complete span of content for all three of their panels. It adds up to about 1.5 hours that will be split into 3 videos. I think the gaps are all short. I read through some fan reports and I didn’t see anything mentioned that wasn’t covered in the videos I have, so we're probably not missing anything big.

I'm only just starting the editing process on this set. so it will be a while before I have a new video to release. In case you missed it, I did publish the CHICON 2008 breakfast video earlier this week. Meanwhile, I’ll leave you with this tiny sample of one of the things I’ve wanted to do so many times while watching con videos.

I always go slightly bonkers when Jared and Jensen go off in separate directions on stage, because the camera can’t possibly follow both of them. I usually end up pulling up all the videos and trying to find one that follows each of them so I can flip back and forth between them. 🤣 Now I have the power to take two separate videos and show them simultaneously. This silly thing makes me very happy.

Context: this was at the end of the J2 panel. Jensen made a show of removing Jared's chair, and then Jared took Jensen's chair and replaced it with a smaller chair. It will be more coherent when you see the full video; I mainly wanted to highlight the split screen parts for this post.

[just-a-madrigal]

We are not besties. We are ‘worsties’.

The Deadly Device

Nancy Drew Embroideries

This is hands down my favorite Nancy Drew game. I’ve always loved science, and been interested in research and learning how things work, and this game made the job of a scientist look so romantic and wonderful that I absolutely credit it with influencing my career. I used to work in a lab and on days when I was particularly uninspired I’d put on this game’s soundtrack to channel that motivation. I became fascinated with Nikola Tesla because of this game, he was truly one of the most intelligent and kind people history has known. So I’ve had the design for this piece in mind for a long time, and I was really excited to get into it. I made it hard for myself by making the piece so small, which made it hard to get all of the details right, but I was on vacation and wanted to pack light so I figured smaller would be more convenient. But someday I’d like to redo this piece on a larger scale!

This was the first (and remains the only) piece of media that I have been directly inspired to write fanfiction about. I wrote more about it that ended up being super long so it’s below the cut if anyone is interested! Overall, this was a great week :)

The story I’d write for these characters came so clearly to me; I’ve never been able to visualize something this way before. But I want to see a story about how Nico and Victor had once been lovers but Nico was too focused on his work and Victor was too capitalist-minded for them to maintain a relationship. But they did remain professional and kept respect for each other, Victor even continuing to invest in Nico’s work. But then Nico fell in love with Gray and they had a dynamic that worked because Gray was so devoted to Nico and the two of them were a team, using Gray’s considerable Physics background, but he had no interest in acclaim or the career of a scientist so Nico kept him close in the security position where they could spend evenings working together. But Victor saw this relationship blossom and became jealous and petty, and he allowed that to fester and his anger at seeing Nico be happy and loved by someone else eventually drove him to plot the murder. But he couldn’t allow himself to be so emotionally vulnerable, even going so far as to convince himself that his crime of passion was one motivated by his capitalist values and greed instead. Gray could see this happening and stayed close to protect Nico, doing what he could to protect their work and their relationship from Victor’s jealousy but knowing that Victor still had this financial power over them, essentially holding the pair hostage. When Victor finally did strike, Gray couldn’t save Nico, but he could save the evidence where he knew Victor couldn’t destroy it. He sent the security tape file to Nico’s secret computer before Victor could come in and edit it, which he knew would happen because of course Victor would cover his tracks. He had to do right by Nico and bring Victor to justice. That’s why he didn’t trust Nancy- he suspected (correctly) that she had been brought in by Victor to find that last piece of evidence and destroy it so that Victor could maintain his innocence. He couldn’t trust that Nancy would do the right thing. Gray was coming into the secret lab at the end of the game because he knew Nancy was trying to obtain it- but he thought she was going to destroy it for Victor. But as we know, Nancy gets Victor brought to justice, and so Gray can have a sense of closure, although still mourning his lost love.

So my reading of the game was very romantic, and made me enjoy it all the more!! Did anyone else read it similarly?? I believe I saw a post going around talking about the lack of details for the ending of the game, so this would be my explanation haha. Maybe someday I’ll actually flesh this out into a real story, it’s been sitting with me for literal years!! I’d love to hear if anyone else had a similar reading.

[mrbexwrites]

OC in 15

Thanks so much for the tag @surroundedbypearls! Logan sounds like a fun chap!

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you’re free to include those as well!

Continuing into hell to edit and after I made this post about Nora, I wanted to focus on her some more!

“Holy shit! Bitch! I was beginning to get worried!” A hoarse voice yelled at me down the phone. “I know you said not to panic until a week had passed, but, girl, when I saw you go off with that guy and the state you were in...shit! Are you okay?”

“Where are you? I’m coming to you. This is going to be such a scoop! Jared is going to shit himself when he finds out!”

“A scoop! A first for Nora Ling! I can almost feel the Pulitzer in my hands! How do I look?”

“With me, is Deputy, uh, Deputy Ward of the Sheriff’s Office,” Nora quickly recovered. In her eagerness to land her scoop, she’d not gotten Ted’s name, so had to quickly squint at his name badge. “Deputy, can you confirm the rumours that you’ve found Amy?”

“But when I ran the plates a couple of days later, it wasn’t a cab. The car had been reported as stolen from a local resident in Luna,” Nora came up and slung an arm around my shoulder. “But the plates didn’t match the car listed on the DMV. So, chop shop, right? I went to the police in Albuquerque, but got poo-pooed. They wouldn’t even take a witness statement from me. So, I went to my boss at the paper, and he basically told me to go and take some photos at the dog fair.”

“Fuck!” Nora had finished her call. “Fuck! Fucking Courtnee Fucking St. Claire-James. Fuck. That fuck-face Jared, has taken the story, that I broke, from me, and is sending in Courtnee St.Claire-James to take over. Because she has ‘better screen quality and gravitas’. Fuck!” 

“I can dream. Just a ‘Nora Ling who broke the story’, you know? My scoop! My five minutes of fame, and introduction to investigative journalism. But Jared just erased me with a wave of his hand, and now Courtnee St. Claire-James is getting all the credit. Ugh!” 

“We’ll be there,” Nora had turned her attention back to the conversation. “Courtnee just posted that she can’t get anyone to comment from the Sheriff’s Department. I can’t imagine her face when I waltz in and get a quote from Sheriff Harris himself,” she smiled slyly, and also helped herself to one of my pancakes, having polished off her own. 

Nora watched him leave, and closed her laptop when she saw one of the photojournalist’s staring at her. She gave him the stink eye. “Yeah, that’s right buddy. The scoop was mine!” [...]“It’s a dog eat dog world in journalism. If you think none of them would push me into oncoming traffic for a chance to get inside the Sheriff’s Office, then you’re more naive than I thought.” 

“You know, she’s only the face of the Independent Chronicle’s social media department because her dad owns the paper, and paid for her boob job.”[...]“Of course! I’d kill to have those connections, and I’d rinse the hell out of them. Do you know how far ahead of my career I’d be if my dad owned a newspaper, or news channel? Why? Why did Ju-Long Ling have to be a dentist?!”

“Holy fucking shit!” Nora sounded as if she was screaming. “Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! I have so much to tell you, but first; I need the deets. Tell me everything. Fill me in. I have five million followers who need to know!”

“I’ve...uh...I’ve stolen a copy of the letter. It was just lying out. I took a quick snap when the forensics guy put it down to fill in paperwork. Does that count as interfering with a crime scene?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Nora waved me away. “I’ve got releases for them. I’m not a monster. I have ethics, y’know.”

(On meeting Avery) “You know who I am!” Nora looked like she might  faint with happiness. “I was at one of your parties that you threw at Samson’s in twenty-eighteen. It was the best night of my life”

“I’m never drinking again,” she croaked. “Why are all the phones ringing at once?”[...]“I don’t understand how they are still upright,” Nora groaned. “Words in my head are too loud. I’m going to be silent forever.” [...]“Some booze,” Nora looked green. “You were behind the bar, pouring cups of tequila into the basin.” 

Passing the tag onto @kaylinalexanderbooks @warriorblood1 @andromedaexists @cowboybrunch @darkangel319 and open invite to anyone who wants to :)

[cutekoala1001]

☆Mood + habit tracking pages! ☆

I’m making Sing-themed tracking pages this year for my journal, and I’d like to share them for anyone who wants to use them! (Sorry I know it’s a week into January but seize the day right?!)

Whether you keep a journal or not, you can print these out and use them to track your moods and habits. Feel free to colour them or edit any way you want for your personal use. *Please don’t repost without crediting me!*

☆*:.｡. What is this?

By tracking your moods and habits at regular intervals, you can see patterns in how your mood varies over time and in different circumstances. And you can track your progress in reaching a goal that might require regular engagement with it. I’ve been doing it for years and I find it pretty helpful.

☆*:.｡. How does it work?

Mood tracker:

Make a colour chart to show which colours correspond to which mood (example: happy = yellow.) Then colour in the day’s mood. A day may have a variety of colours in it. When the month is done, you’ll have a visual of how your moods have changed. (You can then plan to make changes if there was a reason for a drop in mood or something.)

Habit tracker:

Write which habit you want to track above the mini calendar (example: Exercise; Make art; Study ( ) language), and for each day you engage in the habit, colour the day in. (At the end of the month you may find that you’re not engaging with a habit as much as you’d like to be doing, so next month you could work on it.)

.｡.:*☆ .｡. ☆*:.｡.

Every year I make botanical-themed tracking pages but this year I wanted to decorate them using my favorite Sing characters because they make me happy - so to start off with, January is Buster with a dreamy moon-and-stars theme! (I’ll make a separate post for each digital version.) Next month: Ash

((If anyone does use these or edit them for their preferences I’d love to see!! ☆))

[incognito-lionbeast]

I don’t have enough followers for an ask meme--let alone one for a niche fandom like Acceleracers--so I’m just gonna fill (most of) this out on my oWN. Credit goes to @tomiyeee​ for the meme and the post can be found here!

How did you first get into the series? It’s all @schnellicanth​‘s fault (and I love him for it) -- I think it was around 2019? We watched it for a group movie night, and MAN I thought for sure I’d be able to multitask during World Race... couldn’t. Didn’t. I was enthralled.

What do you like most about the series? I’m a character enjoyer & there are, in fact, many very lovely characters to enjoy. I just.. I love them, man. There’s really only one that I actively dislike, and that’s uhh. Vert’s dad. Sorry, dude. Do better.

Favorite & least favorite movie? I think World Race/Highway 35 is the weak link in the series as a whole? It’s still super enjoyable, don’t get me wrong! But it’s less imminently rewatchable for me (when all by myself, anyway).

I think my favourite is Breaking Point? Really enjoy the drama, aha. Also, in the (unlisted) Initial eDition put together by my aforementioned friend--he put m.o.v.e’s “Outsoar the Rainbow” over the Silencerz’ opening sequence. And it’s probably one of my most favourite things ever.

Favorite & least favorite character(s)? My ultimate fave is Wylde -- he’s my son. I won’t accept criticism. I know he’s a huge jerk in Acceleracers, but 8′) as a former Younger Sibling with a complicated relationship to my elder brother? Relatable. He’s really just a scared / traumatised kid, man... I care him. He needs to Do Better, but I care him so much. I also really Love/Hate Tezla, but that’s its own whole thing. Honourable mentions include: Shirako, Vert, Kurt, and Taro (really I love them all tho)

Least favourite! I think I already mentioned... it’s Major Wheeler. I sympathise with being a single parent & a widower, but also man. There’s a couple of things he says which REALLY bug me, y’know? ‘You don’t know how sorry I am’ isn’t an apology! Do better. Vert deserves better.

Favorite & least favorite car(s)? I may be biased, but I do really like Spinebuster, aha. Also, Bassline. I’m not sure I have a least fave? Tho the Deora II is sure silly lookin.

Thoughts on the redesigns? I think they’re fine! Taro takes a bit of a hit & I def prefer his WR look, but I think he’s mostly victim to art style rather than the design itself. (also I find Wylde’s Princess Peach lips v funny & good)

Favorite World Race team? Wave Rippers :p Probably for being more memorable than the others, since they have like. the highest number of prominent cast members.

Teku or Metal Maniacs? I love them equally. They both have really fun team dynamics <3

Silencerz or the Drones? Drones. They sure ain’t good guys, but I trust the Silencerz less...

What ships do you like (if any)? I’ve created my own Dinghy. >>;;

My OTP is Vert/Mark Wylde -- like post-canon, once they’ve had a chance to make up. Coz I think it’s a damn shame that the breakdown in their friendship was never addressed :< I wan them to... be friends.... and maybe more....

Tho I’ve seen a lot of Vert/Nolo & Vert/Shirako in the fandom tag. I think that’s also super valid and neat.

Otherwise? I think I polycule’d Taro/Kurt/Karma/Lani together. Just. As ya do. Kadeem can also get in there if he wants. It’s not a super uniform relationship--some are closer to and/or more romantic with certain members more than others--but I can’t & shan’t be tamed.

I do enjoy Karma/Lani & Taro/Kadeem as individual ships. Maybe Taro/Lani with a little post-canon patching up. Though, Kurt I don’t really ship with anyone by himself. Sorry, man >u<

uhhh I feel like Monkey/Porkchop is a given.

But, really, I can be swayed to ship just about anything within reason. I’m a character writer by hobby & writing interpersonal relationships is my passion

Random headcanon/theory about [insert character/faction/event/etc]? Gosh, I have so many. I am very pleased, though, with the random HC I have that Shirako lives with his grandparents (or, rather, they live with him). They’re both very supportive & interested in his hobbies.

Nothing happened to his parents, mind. They just decided to move to Japan not long after he became an adult, and he chose to stay. He loves his grandparents & his friends very much. :>

Any crossover/AU ideas? Uhhh, I think I tossed around the idea of an Oban Star-Racers crossover -- didn’t really come up with anything. I just think it would be neat to smash my two favourite racing series together.

If you could change anything about the story, what would it be? The only thing I can think of is like. :( Kadeem. I don’t mind so much what happens as much as I wish there had been time to truly resolve everything. Kadeem deserves to live and be happy.

Do you have any unpopular opinions about the series? Well, just based on what I’ve seen in the tags, I seem to be in the minority when I say I really love Mark Wylde. So, take that as you will.

What would you like to see/have seen in a continuation? See above. 

But basically:

Mark makes amends with Vert [which I actually wrote here!]

Kadeem is saved

The other drivers who got lost in the realms aRE FINE

Everyone gets therapy

Since I think there’s some really neat narrative parallels between Mark & Kurt’s relationship vs Vert and Major Wheeler’s relationship... Vert takes the other path. Instead of unconditional forgiveness, Vert decides that, while he still loves his father, doesn’t hate him... nothing like that. It’s just really complicated. Maybe it’s better right now if he takes time away from his father.

...among some other things that I’m probably forgetting right now, but oop. this is long enough.

[midzelink]

So, as some of you might know, one of my GIFs was recently featured on the Tumblr Radar - which is pretty cool!  I was fairly happy with how that one turned out, especially considering that I made it rather last-minute on a whim to acknowledge Valentine’s Day.  It understandably received a lot of attention as a result of this, and I’ve loved reading through all the comments and tags (especially all the ones about how people want to eat the heart containers from TP); however, I wanted to clear up a bit of a misunderstanding surrounding the creation of that GIF, as there were additionally a lot of tags along the lines of #3d art or #artists on tumblr in that influx of reblogs.  I don’t want to take credit for something I didn’t do, even accidentally, and so allow me to be perfectly clear: the heart container GIF is not something I modeled and rendered myself! It is the original in-game model, recorded in-game using the Dolphin GCN/Wii emulator, with very little done in the way of post-processing in Photoshop.  If that sounds impossible or confusing (which is perfectly understandable, for those of you unaware of what Dolphin is capable of), I’d like to take this opportunity to give you guys a bit of a “peek behind the curtain,” as it were, to show you guys exactly how I made that particular GIF, as well as similar ones I’ve made (such as those in my #items tag).  

I didn’t take screenshots of my initial process (nor did I save the edited textures I used), so I’ll be recreating it from the ground up for the sake of demonstration, but that shouldn’t be a problem.

First thing’s first: finding a heart container! For this particular GIF, I wound up using the one that spawns after the Morpheel fight at the end of Lakebed Temple.  I’m sure many others would work just as well (I think, at the time, this one just happened to be the most accessible to me), but let’s use the same one for the sake of it.  

Morpheel: defeated.  And I didn’t even need Zora Armor! (Seriously, we do that in the speedrun.  But I’m getting off-topic.)  Of course, we’re going to need clean, close-up footage of the heart container rotating in order to do what we want to do, so let’s shift into first-person mode and and get a bit closer to the thing.

Now, because the only UI-element in this shot is Link’s health (and it’s in the corner and relatively non-obtrusive), removing it isn’t strictly necessary - but I’ve already made a texture pack that removes UI elements as part of my Text Free TP project from a while back, so let’s load it anyway, for the sake of being thorough.  This shot is also still a bit too far away, so next we’ll be utilizing Dolphin’s free cam feature (which can be accessed by going to Graphics > Advanced > Free Look and checking “Enable” in Dolphin) in order to get the heart container in a more central position. Now we’re left with this:

And we’re already looking well on our way to making a nice, solid color background GIF.  But how do we get the solid color? Well, that’s where more texture editing comes into play - and here I have to give credit where credit is due, as this is a trick I picked up from 186px, after wondering how they were able to make this GIFset of Link fighting Ganondorf in The Wind Waker in a great, black void.  (Seriously, shoutouts to them, their stuff was and still is amazing.)

But, very basically, we’ll be using Dolphin’s texture dump feature in order to find the textures that need to be edited so we can replace them with pure black ones.  Texture dumping can be enabled by going to Graphics > Advanced > Utility and checking “Dump Textures,” and the file path for these dumped textures by default is Documents > Dolphin Emulator > Dump > Textures > [Game ID].  (In the case of Twilight Princess, the Game ID is GZ2E01).  After dumping the textures in the Morpheel arena, my GZ2E01 folder looks like this:

When editing textures, sometimes you’ll have to endure a bit of trial and error until you find the correct ones.  Luckily, in this scene, the textures making up the sand floor and the stone walls are rather large, so let’s isolate the ones we’re pretty sure are responsible (plus a few others that are obviously environmental, just to be safe).

Now, when loading custom textures, it’s important that the file name you’re trying to load matches up exactly with the original texture that you’re trying to replace.  I have a plain, black, square PNG that I keep on my desktop specifically for this purpose; I copy the file names of the textures I’ve isolated, then rename and drag and drop the black PNG into the folder where custom textures are loaded (Documents > Dolphin Emulator > Load > Textures > [Game ID]).  Like so:

And now, to refresh our custom textures by disabling and reenabling them in Dolphin’s graphics settings:

And voilà! We have something that very nearly resembles the GIF I made (well, a still of it, at least).  I skipped over a few details, such as the fact that TP has a pretty significant amount of bloom surrounding just about everything, which I’m fairly certain I disabled using cheat codes when I made the original GIF in order to give it an overall cleaner look.  It’s hard to tell from this still, but TP’s heart containers also sparkle considerably in a way that’s random and not loopable; I found the texture responsible for this sparkle and replaced it with a transparent 1x1 PNG, in order to remove it entirely (as well as the texture behind the “glow” of the thing).  After that, it was as simple as recording the game with OBS, dumping the MP4 into Photoshop, cropping and cutting it to make it loop, and adding some adjustment layers for contrast and color.  So...yeah!

I hope this has served to clear up any confusion about some of the things that I’ve made in the past.  I’m not a 3D artist - just a person with an emulator and way too much free time on their hands.  This stuff is really, super simple, and also lots of fun, so I would highly encourage anyone with the means to mess around with emulation on their own some time to see what they can do!  (Even if you don’t have Photoshop and can’t make GIFs, there are always edits, such as this one I made of Midna.)  For Twilight Princess in particular, I also highly recommend checking out TPGZ; it’s a patch you can apply to a clean ISO of the original game, designed with the purposes of helping folks learn and practice the speedruns (yes, I had to bring up speedrunning one last time, kill me), but it’s got nifty features like built-in savestates, cheat codes, and HUD removal, as well as the ability to freeze actors while maintaining the ability to move the camera freely, among other things (all things that are very useful as far as making unique graphics go).  Sorry this post got as long as it did, but I at the very least hope that some of you found it educational and/or interesting.  Cheers!

[thefeedress]

FFA MUSINGS

I was 17 when I learned the terms "feeder" "feedee" and "feederism" from stumbling across one of those trash documentaries about the kink. Apparently, my sexuality revolved around extremes and predators: creepy straight men coercing naive women into transforming their bodies and their lives - the women didn't particularly seem to be getting off on it or even have much agency in the whole thing. The men were awful. (Sometimes, these days, I look back and wonder how much all the negatives of what I saw were exaggerated by the editing…)

That was my lightbulb moment, where I discovered the label for something very personal and private that I'd had all my life but always felt confused and ashamed about. I now also had the pleasure of feeling extra disgusting and very alone, having been shown what horrible company I was in, and that I now knew I was a feeder, but apparently all feeders were men.

Any furtive investigations online (in the reasonably early days of the internet) seem to confirm this suspicion: female feeders were not A Thing, there might possibly be one or two others out there at best. Male gainers only seemed to exist in their own niche in gay subculture, and although I was happy they were out there somewhere living their best lives, they were obviously Not For Me.

I was 34 when after years of pushing it all to the back of my mind, I finally gave in. I've been with the same (non-feedist) partner since my early 20s, so I just assumed that I'd never be able to explore it irl anyway, and that was that. I can't remember what happened or why I decided that I had to try to find some others to connect with, even just to chat with, but in the end (with my partner's blessing) I found and joined Feabie (of which I have many opinions but I'll leave those for another time…) and interacted with other feedists online for the first time in my life.

Guess what: straight male feedees exist. They exist, and there's fucking loads of them!! Tons of the buggers in my inbox all day every day for weeks. Pretty heady experience going from outcast freak to Much Sought After Item - apparently female feeders really are quite rare, or we don't have much of an online presence (or most of us are lurking in a secret lair somewhere that the others haven't invited me to, rude….) or they're also out there somewhere thinking they're the only one.

The unbridled glee of feeling popular and desirable for being something I'd always felt ashamed of did wear off a teensy bit after the endless onslaught of "hey" "hi" "how u" "ayy babygurl" "I'm looking for a feeder please accommodate all my kinks even though I'm a total stranger and I clearly don't give a shit about you as a human being" "You're a woman on the internet I'm entitled to your attention don't be difficult what's your problem" and my current favourite, the bizarrely ominous "Can I ask ur opinion?" (The answer is no my friend, if I wanted to be spammed with anonymous torso pics that I'm meant to manufacture comments about that you can get off to I'd have asked YOU.)

But. I'm still completely overjoyed that male feedees exist, that I've spoken to so many cool and interesting and lovely guys, that I've had experiences I'd always assumed I wouldn't, that I FINALLY MET OTHER FFAs and they are awesome and now I'm close friends with one and it's freaking GREAT. All of this has also lead my partner and I to discover polyamory and now I'm in love with two people who love me back NOBODY EVER SAID YOU WERE ALLOWED TO DO THAT WHY THE FUCK DID NO ONE TELL ME

There are so many nuances and preferences I'd never considered. I knew what I liked and that's what I sought out in terms of porn and that was that. Actually talking to feedees and learning about the whole spectrum of things they each did or didn't enjoy or want to participate in was a revelation, and also helped me clarify my own preferences myself.

There are still things I've yet to come to terms with or decide how to feel about. The main things I'd always felt guilty or ashamed of were less to do with fat or fat guys, it was the feeding itself.

Where being an FFA is concerned - I like to think that if I'd ever been lucky enough to have a fat boyfriend when I was younger, I wouldn't have been shallow enough to care what anyone else thought. It's possible I'm giving my younger self too much credit; I know for certain that some people in my life would have made nasty comments, I was also hugely insecure myself, and I have no idea what it really would have been like. I have no doubt that living all my life in a fatphobic society has affected me in more ways than I'm even aware of (same as everyone else in some way, I'm guessing....). I think any uneasiness I felt there was less worrying about shallow friends or family members, and more how to find potential fat partners without offending them. I have always been conscious of the fact that the majority of fat people would very likely be horrified to be thought of and objectified through the lens of this fetish. You never know what someone's relationship to their own body is, but it's safe to bet that it's a more complex one than it seems, and also, unless you're expressly invited into that relationship by that person, it's none of your fucking business.

But anyway, the main reason I never had many hangups about it was that I don't think I even *was* attracted to fat people when I was young - sometimes I'm not sure I was even attracted to anyone. I had crushes on boys all the time, but I never thought of anyone sexually. My teenage fantasies were pure belly kink: stuffing, chugging, bloating, inflation, any kind of ridiculous fantasy belly expansion - the actual fattening aspect of feeding was less a part of it, and fancying fat dudes was never connected to it. By the time I'd begun to join the dots and wonder if I liked fat boys, I'd started to happen across media that portrays the worst of Feedism, and since I liked sadistic fucked up stuff and already felt ashamed of it, all of that just confirmed to me that I was right to hate myself. Even now, when I'm exposed to much more conversation about this kink than I ever used to be, I notice a lot of love for soft feedism, wholesome fatness appreciation, body positivity, romance (all of which I absolutely love, don't get me wrong) and I still sometimes feel Iike I'm being left out of the party. Keeping my fingers crossed for more consensual femdom-feedism love (and content, ugh…)

But… what would have happened if I hadn't gotten the fuck over myself and put myself out there, tried to find others? How many other young people see themselves portrayed horribly in the media and hide parts of themselves FROM THEMSELVES forever? What happens next? I've apparently found the one person who likes all the same twisted things I do, but actually getting to see him irl ever or do any of the things we want to do seems impossible, and not just because of Covid.

This fetish is lonely for most of us I think, in some way or another. There aren't many feedists, there don't seem to be as many female feeders or male feedees, there probably aren't many people who will share the same preferences within the fetish that you do, and frankly when you filter out the people who aren't crazy or creepy or don't know how to hold a conversation, the pool shrinks even further. I've seen plenty of posts bemoaning how hard it is to find someone, but seriously, having spent most of my life in a vacuum where this stuff is concerned, I'm still buzzing from having engaged with the small handful of people I've engaged with, even just to chat to.

What I want to say to my younger self is: you're a good person. You're just a kinky bitch, that's all.

I feel like this description probably applies to all the best people, I can live with that.

[agallimaufryofoddments]

Shortly before Huey asks Elmer the most “cruel [and] absurd” of his two favors in 1711 Whitesmile—to "please stay just the way you are . . . . [because] I think I can rely on you to find my way back to who I was back then” (p. 228)—he remarks that he “no longer [has] any hatred for this world, nor any attachment to it” (158) post-Monica.

We might suppose that Huey might—could once again—fall in love with the world upon Monica’s return, no matter the world’s state. Despite this and Huey’s willingness to treat the world as an experiment, I wonder if his solicitation of a promise is much an instinctive attempt to preserve the world as much as it is an attempt to preserve Elmer.

Edit: Ignore the bulk of this post; in my haste to ponder the theoretical impact of Huey’s request on Elmer’s quest for universal happiness, I inadvertently overemphasized Huey’s impact by dint of underemphasizing Elmer’s tendency to be sidetracked—and I really shouldn’t have. See reblog.

Elmer’s goal in pursuing his own happiness, after all, has always been concomitant with pursuing global happiness. “What do you suppose I’d have to do to make everyone in the world happy?” he asks Esperanza, well before his arrival in Italy, His modus operandi—making individual people smile with his own power—is not the be-all and end-all. In other words, if he somehow verified his own happiness before making everyone happy, I think it likely he would continue pursuing that goal, whether despite or because of the inherent selfishness he, others, and the narration see in him.

Huey knows of Elmer’s global desires; his 1705 conversation with Elmer leaves him sick with the realization that Elmer will use any means to achieve his end; “he would make [others] his pawns and change their very fates.” (Oh, the irony.)

Now, Huey knows full well that he cannot preserve the world, nor does he want to. Time will change the world beyond his control, until it is unrecognizable to the world Monica once knew. Though this itself would not be an issue for Monica, Huey might care on some deeper level about the kind of world that ought (not) to greet her. He cannot abide decisions based on uncertainties; the more certain the outcome he works toward, the better. Anyone with reason understands that extraordinarily drastic change is required for a world such as ours to achieve global happiness; anyone who knows Elmer understands such change could be as terrible as it could be wonderful.

Again, whether and to what degree Huey is deliberately or incidentally pushing back Elmer’s ‘world domination via happiness’ plans is unclear and merely speculation. Nevertheless, when one conducts an experiment, one contends with both controls and variables. In removing Elmer from the global equation (while allowing the memory of him to influence his own experiment), Huey has one less variable to track.

What led me to think that Huey might have had the world on his mind? What of textual evidence or support? 

What strikes me—what directly influenced this train of thought / this post—is how Elmer seems to put his “global happiness” pursuit on hold post-elixir, though it remains a primary occupation of his mind three centuries on. As he famously says in 2001, “For the sake of a happy ending, I’d sell everyone in the world to the devil without a second thought.”

Yet Elmer has been more talk than action on this point for the last couple centuries. (That Narita has managed to convince us otherwise is to his credit). Elmer’s undertaking of alchemy in the 1700s is an example of a proactive if misguided step towards global happiness, but we haven’t seen Elmer take alternative macroscopic steps since. The absence of progress in his global quest is starkly puzzling in the presence of the progress made by Szilard and Huey, two men just as driven as Elmer. As far as we know, Elmer has mostly spent his time searching for Szilard while trying to make people smile along the way. 

(Notably, people like Niki, Mark, and Fil. And Huey. People not unlike him. I firmly believe this is rooted in his trauma and the series’ essential theme(s) of happiness—not just it is possible for immortals to be happy, but, I am of the opinion, is it possible for people like Elmer to be happy? This is something I will be discussing in one or two much longer posts. It is too off-topic here.)

Putting aside Elmer’s tendency to be sidetracked with aforementioned ‘smile projects’ like those above, the puzzle makes sense in the context of Huey’s promise. If Elmer puts so much significant stock in global happiness’ possible happy outcome for himself—i.e., he is optimistic that it may actually change him—then how can he continue to pursue meaningful actions toward that end without risking breaking his promise? For all that Elmer’s selfishness is underscored, and how self-centered he can be when finagling smiles in the short-term, is he not fairly willing to delay or stay his prospective long-term Happy Ending, time and time again, on behalf of another? 

Huey is making Elmer sacrifice his own theoretical happiness for what could be hundreds or thousands of years. Do not change. Remain just the way you are. Do. Not. Realize. Your. Happiness. Elmer agrees so readily, on the entire basis of a potential, not guaranteed, smile from Huey—as if he believes that seeing Huey’s smile will significantly bring himself closer to knowing happiness. What else can we conclude?

There are few other scenarios I can see that plausibly explain / justify Elmer’s conspicuous stagnancy in his global happiness pursuit when we are frequently warned he is a man to take seriously, a man proactive, a man who is not all talk. I say this despite my belief that Elmer’s repeated homing in on those who have been subjected to major trauma / abuse (Niki, Fil) to the point of despair / suicidal thoughts / etc. (Mark)—especially those who are children (all of the above at first meeting)¹—is more relevant to his desire for personal happiness than even Elmer realizes.

But that is another story. By which I mean at least one, possible two, lengthy write-ups on and related to the subject.

---

¹ Note: I would include Czes, except Elmer isn’t quite aware that Czes suffered at Fermet’s hands until Czes tells him as much in 2001...not to mention he has not seen Czes since the 18th century. How much of his zeroing in on Czes is due to instinct, or merely a natural consequence of Czes being the most unhappy of the immortals? Still, what Elmer decides to tell Czes specifically in this news’ wake (personal jealousy, capacity for change), seems crucial to me if Elmer at all, in that moment, regarded Czes as not unlike him. “If you want to melt again, just let yourself feel the warmth of your environment,” Elmer advises.

Alas, in Elmer’s case, there is nothing for him to melt back into; he has no reference point. He can mirror the warmth, but Czes can let it warm the embers of all that is good within him. Moreover, since when has Elmer last spent significant time in the warmth of human connection? Not since the Mask Maker trio, and even then, the three’s chance to intimately connect (the prospect of Monica sharing her past with them, Elmer his with her) was sabotaged with Monica’s death. Elmer keeps eluding the most ubiquitous and emphasized of Baccano!’s paths to happiness: bonds with other people.

Note 2: “...few other plausible scenarios...” I ought to acknowledge that Elmer shares Szilard & Huey’s drive but none of their power, resources, and money. You know, the sorts of assets required for such a lofty goal as his. The sort of assets he originally hoped to obtain via using Huey and Monica. Of course, should the Mask Maker trio once more reform (ha...), perhaps then Elmer might have more of an actual chance. “Building the world” might also be all the cheerier if he were doing it with his friends alongside him, though I’m not sure whether he’s really thought it through like that. 

Waiting on a powerful connection like Huey is probably the easiest and most appealing option from Elmer’s perspective, as opposed to the Szilard route (using alchemy/knowledge to accrue money, then power and influence), the Victor route (honest employment under the leash of the U.S. government), the Maiza and Begg routes (illegal work via gang connections), or the Nader route (worming one’s way into the ear of influential people via a silver tongue, which Elmer decidedly lacks).

(We have no idea if Elmer has considered at all whether he could use Lucrezia de Dormentaire. I mean, yeah, why would the House itself have any reason to hear Elmer out, and why would he expect them to? Except he would definitely have the gumption to say something like, “Hey, remember how I spied for your House and sent you some of the Grand Panacea? I want to call in a favor...” The question is whether he would think to do this. If he’s forgotten basic things like devouring, who knows how long it’s been since he last considered whether Lucrezia still lives?)

[kbsd]

not sure if you’ve answered this before, but what’s your process look like when you make an amv? i’m just curious and in constant awe of ppl who can make videos like you do :)

hello all!!! i have answered this before and i have a vid help tag with other asks i’ve gotten about stuff like this! but i’ve gotten several more messages along these lines so i’m just going to answer a bunch of them together (under a cut since i love to ramble about editing lol). i do just wanna say i’m definitely not the authority on video editing and obv everyone has their own techniques!

edit: i just finished typing all this up and it’s SO long so sorry in advance LMAO god bless anyone who reads this entire thing

so i work in news tv and we have a very specific workflow for writing scripts, sourcing video, producing, and editing. i’ve just applied that to making amvs! for every video i make, i copy the song lyrics into a google doc and adjust them to match the song i’ve cut (i often will trim songs for time and/or content purposes). then i start planning! i’ll mark down what clip i want to use for each lyric next to that line, and any sound bites i want to use (with episode numbers!). i’ll color code between video and sound bites and lyrics, so my scripts end up looking something like this (for my honeybee amv):

doing the planning ahead of time makes everything much easier when it’s a video that spans the whole show or involves a lot of sourcing, like honeybee or sports analogies. that way when i get to the actual editing process, i already know what i’m going to do and have a game plan. for videos like happy ending or believe it or not, where i’m mainly just pulling from a few episodes, i can just plan it in my head as opposed to writing it all down, and produce as i edit. obviously i do make in-the-moment decisions while editing—sometimes a shot doesn’t work the way i thought it would, or i go where the video takes me—but planning ahead definitely helps. i know some people use spreadsheets as well, with columns for lyrics, video clips, and sound bites if applicable. once you find a system that works, it actually goes pretty quickly.

as for sourcing clips themselves/finding clips within episodes, i talked about that here and kind of here. the short version is that transcripts are a must, and the supernatural wiki is hugely helpful by cataloguing all the hugs, prayers, phone calls, etc. in the show. gifmakers that tag episode numbers on their posts are your friends. it gets easier the more video you make—that’s another huge reason i make the google docs for each video (even the ones i plan in my head, i end up going back and making a loose script with episode notes just for reference). if i can’t remember where something is but i know i used it in another video, i can easily reference past scripts!

i also cut all my videos in the same project in premiere pro, so i can flip between them easily. instead of checking a past script, i can just go to the video sequence itself and copy the clip i’m looking for! this was especially helpful when i match cut together the 5x18 and 4x22 wall slam shots for my bestie video, and then stole it from myself for honeybee hahaha. at any given time i have at least 8 sequences open:

because of the sheer volume of videos i make, it’s worth it for me to download the entire show—i have all 327 episodes in HD, plus deleted scenes. if you think you’re only going to make a few videos, i’d start with scene packs. you can usually just google “destiel [or whatever ship/character you’re looking for] scene packs” and there will be any number of ones you can download. if you need other specific scenes, you can always download/torrent individual episodes or screen record netflix (that’s what i did before i got HD download links). i’m happy to share my links if you DM, but be warned it’s a lot of disk space (about 500GB on my hard drive). someone also compiled every destiel scene, downloadable here.

having every episode already loaded in premiere for all my projects also makes it a lot easier to source clips. once i use a clip in a video, i’ll put a marker on the episode file, so that after a while i have most of the important scenes/lines marked to easily find them. to give you an idea, this is my episode file in premiere for 12x10 lily sunder has some regrets (markers at destiel scenes, the car fight, hot girl cas, etc.). markers are the green tabs along the bottom:

premiere also lets you color code and name markers, so ONE DAY i will go back and color code them all. the ones above are all the same color, but in a perfect world, i’d have a myraid—for destiel shots like hugs, touches, looks; for important pieces of dialogue; for action shots; etc. but for now this works ok for me, so that’s a project for another time!

between detailed scripts, one giant premiere project, markers, the wiki, and my own memory, i have so many points of reference that i can usually find any clip i need in about 2 minutes max. sound bites are often harder to start out, or tiny specific shots i haven’t used before, and that’s when i turn to tumblr gifsets or beloved mutuals to crowdsource. but if you’re as obsessive about marking/keeping neat scripts as i am, it gets easier and easier with every video you make. that’s part of why i’m able to cut videos together so quickly. (also i want to stress i do this for a living and have to produce/edit a new piece for my show every day so i’m used to it. and compared to constantly updating content/sources and news that changes every day, 327 highly documented episodes that never change are much easier to handle hahaha)

this is all great for me since i make so many videos and plan to continue doing so, but if you’re only making a few, this level of work isn’t worth it imo. really it’s all about developing a system that works for you. whatever you do with episodes/sourcing, though, i cannot recommend planning things out in a script ahead of time enough. 

everything i just mentioned is producing, though. for the editing process, i usually do it in this order:

music first. any parts i want to cut, i make sure it all sounds smooth

then soundbites. i usually try to weave them into the lyrics—i have characters talk in breaks between lines or instrumental sections as much as possible. i’ll sometimes go so far as looped/extending an intsrumental part to make room for the soundbite i want there lol. if i do have dialogue over a line, i do the sound mixing/levels at this point as well to make sure everything is audible/one doesn’t overpower the other. (also i always include the video that goes with these bites when i drop them in, and decide later if i want to show the character speaking or have other clips cover the dialogue)

once i have all the audio locked in, then i bring in all my other video clips. sometimes i edit completely chronologically, sometimes jumping from section to section—it depends on the song or how i’m feeling

double check sound mixing. i usually listen to my videos through a few times, with headphones and without to make sure it’ll sound good no matter how people watch it

once i have picture and audio lock, i go through and color correct my clips. i’m basic and just use lumetri color in premiere, and usually just play with brightness, saturation, temperature, and tint until i like it

render and export! :)

i always have several audio tracks, but i try to keep my video tracks condensed. i’ll drop clips on a V2 level, and edit a section there, and drop the whole chunk down to V1 so i know it’s finished. that way when i leave and come back i can know where i left off/what’s done/etc. to give you an idea, this is the timeline for my what the hell video:

i always render as H.264 with high bitrate, and make sure to check “render at maximum depth” and “use maximum render quality” for the best quality. i’m sorry, but i don’t know what the equivalent options are in final cut, imovie, kdenlive, etc. i post on youtube mostly so i don’t have to sacrifice quality, but usually just using a lower bitrate will get you under the tumblr file size limit and it’ll still look good.

as for the anon who asked about “polishing”: first of all, thank you!! second of all, it’s in the details. all of this is a matter of taste and my own insanity, but here are some little things i always try to do:

after i color correct, i blur out any credits from the starts of episodes. i use gaussian blur for this, but really any blur tool works

as much as possible, i avoid clips where we see a character’s mouth move but don’t hear the words. in tv/film we call it “lip flap” and i just think it looks messy. also i’m trained to avoid it at all costs at work hahaha. it’s more for serious videos that this matters a lot to me (e.g. i think i did a really good job eliminating lip flap in my happy ending amv)—for comedy videos i don’t sweat it as much

i put audio fades on the start and end of every single audio clip i use, even if i don’t think i need it, to make sure everything sounds smooth

i use markers for timing, especially in action-y videos like what the hell. i’ll put a marker on the clip i’m using at the exact moment a punch lands, and in the song on the beat. if i have the magnet/snap in timeline tool on i can just easily snap them together instead of having to spend time finagling it

this is such a small thing but i dip/cut to black for a tiny bit at the start and end of every video. this way if i post with tumblr video player, there’s black between the loops, and it gives you a beat before the video restarts. i do this even on videos i post on youtube, just because i think it looks nicer/more professional

this is 1,500 words so i’m going to stop myself before i pull something. if you have follow-up questions feel free to ask and i’ll continue to add them to the vid help tag, but any more questions about sourcing clips or my process in general i’ll just link this post going forward. anyone who made it this far, i am sending to a telepathic kiss. thank you for reading and happy editing!

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ INSECURE ❜

with Filip ‘Chibs’ Telford.

Request: I’d love if you could write something for me, it’s kinda personal but I’d love to read it, it’s something a lot of people could relate, something about having panic attacks during intimacy? Like during sex or foreplay triggered by feeling like you’re underperforming or not good enough. Preferably with one of the SOA guys maybe chibs Tig or happy, love your writing ❤️

BY ANON

Warnings: nsfw, smut.

Word count: about 1.7k

Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: to the author.

Masterlist. You can subscribe to my broadcast list, to be notified whenever I post a writing!

You didn't want to, but you fell in love with him inevitably at first sight.

But something stuck in your head doesn't let you take a step forward.

You have never gone beyond kissing, after a month playing his game.

Juice told you that he's someone overconfident, but looks like you are making him doubt.

You are dying to have some kind of intimacy with him, but every time you try it, there's a panic installed on your chest that makes you run away from Chibs.

“No' this time, lass”, he thinks.

Urging you to jump onto him and surround his waist with your legs, without caring about who is looking at you two, he takes you to his dorm. Outside of the clubhouse it's happening another Samcro party, so he can't have some time with you, without being bothered. His lips are devouring yours rashly and desperately, groping the door to find the knob and turn it. Coming into the room, he closes it behind his back. His steps lead the two of you to the center of the bed, lying there with his huge hands pawing your body. And of course you want to continue, feeling how he gets comfortable among your legs, but the bitter sensation appears again. Pressing his chest with your palms to push him away, you break the kiss that has you running of air.

He's looking at you confused, with a disappointed gesture on his face. And you are so sorry for him, but your insecurities are stronger than your desire. Kneeling over the mattress and sitting on his heels, Chibs rubs his face with both hands, heavily snorting as he strokes his hair to the back of his head.

“Is it me?”

His question takes you by surprise, licking your bottom lip and flying your gaze to somewhere in the room. You shake your head in the time that two fingers hold your chin, urging you to look at him.

“Then, wha'? Wha' don't ye wa—”.

“What if I'm not good enough to please you?”

Filip is looking at you with parted lips, without can believe your words.

He gives you some space.

Some minutes.

Some calm.

Chibs lies down by your side, embracing you against his body.

He gives you some confidence to talk about your sexual experiences, about the guys you have been with, about how they treated you like shit. About that they weren't pleased by you, and they all ended up cheating you.

About what you really feel for him.

About that you don't want to lose him, just because you can't give him what he wants.

And you are terrified of Chibs saying that it's okay for him to not continue with you.

But he doesn't.

He kisses you again. Slowly. Kicking out your worries from your body.

“What if we just play this time?”

His fingertips tour your left thigh, lifting up the skirt of your dress some inches, enough to settle his hand between your legs. His ringed forefinger presses your center over the wet fabric of your panties, while one of your hands strokes the bulge under his rigid jeans. Chibs grunts against your lips, slightly rocking his hips, in the time he puts away the piece of clothing covering his most precious treasure. Really easily sliding two fingers inside you, a moan escapes from your mouth. His long and thick digits stretch your walls deliciously, needing some help to undone his belt too focused on the pleasure he's giving you by his hand going back and forth.

His hard dick springs free, as soon as he can roll up his clothes enough on his thighs. Your fingers hold it carefully, using your thumb to stroke the head of his erection, spreading the pre-cum all over his extension. That makes it easy to jerk him off. Starting with a low pace, you move in total sync.

“Fuck, my love...” He gasps, trying to contain the cravings of ripping of your dress and fuck you as hard as he can. “Ye do'e so… so fucking good”.

The arm around your neck closes itself tightly, shortening the distance. Chibs's forehead rests against yours, speeding up the thrusts inside your pussy bit by bit, as your wrist moves somewhat faster from the base to the glans.

After leaving the room, he looks happy, hugging your body and kissing your cheek a lot of times.

Having heard his moans asking you to not stop, to continue, to make him cum makes you feel a little more confident.

He have really enjoyed it

The next days, he surprises you taking you to the remotest corners of the club just to finger you, to teach you to be quite, to feel your warm hand wrapping his dick hardened because of you and the way you have to bite your lip when he's looking at your eyes, telling you how beautiful you are.

Little by little, your panic attacks are disappearing, letting you take another step.

The next time, you surprise him at the office of Teller-Morrow.

Closing the door behind you, with a naughty smile drawn in your lips, your boyfriend takes a seat on the sofa. The same smile on his, traveling the tip of his tongue over the bottom one. Without saying a single word, you place yourself between his legs, standing up but leaning forward to kiss him. While his tongue fights yours in a filth way, your fingers undoes his belt and the zip of his jeans. Pulling the clothes down to his ankles, you kneel on the floor. Chibs is lost in your lustfully eyes fixed on his, watching sideways how your tongue licks his erection. What he wasn't expecting is your mouth welcoming it. Your lips get closed around his sensible skin, as you bow down your head until your nose meets his pelvis. He can't help but arch his back slightly, with a growl borning from his soul. Your throat being forced by his hardness, stealing you all the air within your lungs, feels torturously pleasurable.

“Hold'e there… my love… I beg ye”. He babbles, placing his hands over your head as he leans back his against the wall.

When the gag makes his cock vibrate, filling up your mouth, he gasps a little louder. Almost in a delighted sob. Anyone can't fake that. You know he doesn't have much time and you don't want to waste it. Your head almost bounces on his dick, turning your neck lightly at both sides making some semi-circles, while your tongue licks every inch of his erection. Chibs tastes really good, salty and sweet. And he's really enjoying fucking your mouth, finally letting him set the pace. A little fast, a little rough, imagining it's your tight pussy. Imagining how wet you are right now.

As soon as you feel the shivers running his thighs, you secure your mouth around his dick, making him know that you want him to cum. He doesn't need words either, pressing down on your head, until his glans hits and forces again the wall of your throat, spilling out his hot cream within your cavity. The glad moan floods the small office, catching his breath for a second. Ripping his vocal chords.

He can swear that he hasn't ever seen something more beautiful than you showing him the inside of your mouth after swallowing his seed.

Later that day, you discover how easy it is to see the stars when you ride his face.

His rough beard makes you some tickles, rubbing your skin once and again, as you rock your waist over his face. His fingers are strongly nailed on your thighs. His lips devours your folds, tucking among them his tongue as if he was fucking you with it. But when he catches your swollen and needy clit between his lips to almost suck your soul out, you feel that you can touch the sky. He's determined to worship your whole anatomy, being focused on how good you feel soaking his face with your juices, while one of your hands are tangled in his hair and the other is squeezing one of your nipples.

“Oh my fucking god…” You cry out, closing your eyelids.

Feeling his lips vibrating against your skin because of his chuckles, you let yourself go, pulling down your body over his abdomen.

He wasn't expecting it. Growling upset.

Until he hears you talk, placing both hands on his chest.

“I need you to fuck me so badly”.

His heart stops for a second.

Making you lie down on your back, Filip rolls down his clothes, slightly raising up his shirt.

He is truly anxious, just like you are.

Slamming his cock inside you, he pushes it beyond your limits. Your moans appear in sync. His ringed fingers wrap your throat, as he sinks his face into your neck. Going back, he pounds you with fury. Once and once, as deep as he can do it. Your body bounces a little over the sofa, trying to find an anchorage point for your hands, finding it on his back. Your nails scratch his skin, begging him for more. Every thrust is rough, stretching your walls and covering his dick with your wetness.

“Fuck, my love… Et feels so good… so damn good”. He cries against your neck, nailing his hands on your hips.

The pleasure is undescribable, torturing your anatomy and every bone of it, while he continues impaling you against the sofa too desperate for making you cum. For cumming inside you. And after so much play, he can't take it anymore. You either. The orgasm hits your bodies with waves of heat. Tears in your eyes because of the delight he is making you feel, filling you up with his warm seed. Pressing his body against yours, with your legs strongly closed around his waist. His grunts don't cease, biting your neck to draw a hickey on it; marking his territory, as he really loves.

“Jesus fucking Christ”. He curses then, as you push him some inches deeper into you. “Ye're gonna kill me one day”.

You repeat some minutes after.

And you finally understand that you weren't the problem, but the others guys.

[optimismrpt]

HOW RIGBY RUNS A ROLEPLAY : A VERY SPECIFIC GUIDE ( OF SORTS )

BONUS CONTENT: ACCEPTANCE DAY

I think it’s essentially to start with this disclaimer: This is merely how I run a rp and I’m not saying by any means it is how a rp should be run. I have found success through these methods all in combination and I can’t promise that they work all the time.

IMPORTANT ! if you use this guide as a basis for your rp please credit back to me somewhere on your front page, rules, or plot! this is a very specific type of rp (small limited run plot heavy skeleton rp) that i have worked very hard to develop over the past five years. i want you to learn from my successes and failures, and please give credit where it is due!

It is a lot of work! Like A LOT! And if you don’t have time to admin with full commitment this is not the right type of rp to attempt.

With that in mind, let’s go!

FULL GUIDE IN THE SOURCE LINK! 

BEFORE THE ACTUAL DAY

First of all, getting apps is fun and it’s easy to get wrapped up in the excitement and want to move things forward as soon as possible. However, I recommend you don’t rush! Do not move up your acceptance date or the date that you close the inbox! This isn’t fair to the people who were planning on finishing up their apps before the original deadline who now have to crunch to meet the new deadline or may not be able to make the new deadline at all because of irl responsibilities. It’s always good to give lots of warning for the inbox closing and stick to it! 

I also recommend that you do not lower the threshold of people needed to open. Sometimes it can be disheartening to set an app threshold at ten and then only get six apps, even if the days grind on with no new apps, stick it out and keep promoting! Opening with less than eight characters (and for apples I’d say 15 characters) is going to make activity lackluster. It’s better to delay opening for the sake of having a grand first day than to jump the gun and end up making the rp fizzle before it can even start. 

About 52 hours before acceptances are set to take place I like to write out a to-do list and put it in my drafts. It usually involves ‘write acceptance posts, update skeletons, update main, post acceptances, post follows, post opening note’. Just having everything you need to do between then and opening written out in order is so helpful. And being able to check things off the list creates both a feeling of relief and excitement. So make a plan, determine how soon everything needs to be done, and work through it meticulously. In the rush of opening day it can be easy to forget important things like updating the triggers page.

If I have time I try to write everything hours in advance. When it comes to things like opening announcements and plot drops I try to write those at least 24 hours of their release time. And this is why I like, for competitive rps, to close the inbox and then give myself at least two hours to deliberate. But I’d even encourage giving yourself 6 hours between the inbox closing and posting acceptances. I know that’s a while to make people wait but apps can get pretty long and reading them all (and probably rereading a few of them multiple times) can be a lengthy process! 

I always try not to read the apps at all before the deliberation time. I find that if I read an app when it comes in that gives the first person an advantage because they have more time for me to adapt to their vision and start to assimilate it and get attached. And that’s not fair to the people who may have stumbled upon the rp later. So I just read the app far enough to get the info for the app count.

Just as a general rule I like to post important dates and times in at least two different timezones. For example ‘Acceptances are at 6am GMT / 1pm EST / 10pm PST ’. That way you can show that you are keeping other timezones in mind. And plus it’s nice to just to the conversion work so your applicants don’t have to. 

DELIBERATION TIME

Start by reading the apps which don’t have competition. These ones are easiest because it’s not a matter of determining whether they are the best of the bunch, it’s just deciding whether or not they are are passable. So I always read those first and then write their acceptance post immediately after I make my decision so that at least I’ll have that to post at the set acceptance date. That way, even if I haven’t made a decision on all the apps I’ll have something to post to show that I am reading apps and trying to stick to schedule! 

When your are dealing with competitive apps there are a few things I look for in an application: 

The most important is that the applicant seems willing to talk to you. This could be asks, ims, or even a little note in the app! Writers who want to make it clear what their intentions/desires/goals are ooc are going to be the easiest to work with! Plus it gives you an idea of how flexible they are! Those who dig their heels in when you offer up alternative suggestions are probably not good to work with. You want to find someone who has direction, intention, and ideas but don’t treat your ideas (or anyone else’s) as lesser than their own. 

Call for humor! I’ve found that I have trouble with people who take themselves and their characters too seriously. This means that they often won’t be up for plotting since they don’t want their character to be anything less than graceful. Humor is a really good sign that a writer is fun, creative, and understands their character. 

I also get wary of people who overhype the rp. Making edits/adding memes in the talk tag is all very nice, but when it looks like an rpt is promoting my rp just to give themselves an advantage over other applicants I tend to count that against them. I don’t like the idea of an rpt trying to use their signal boosting and popularity in the rpc as leverage over me. 

One of the biggest red flags is someone not sticking to the skeleton! If someone blatantly disregards one or more aspects of the skeleton that is an instant strike against them. I don’t like it when people have ocs that they adapt to fit a skeleton because most of the time that means that they don’t really care about the skeleton and your ideas. However, if they contact me about changes to the skeleton in advance and ask if some edits are alright then that’s actually a really good sign! I want people to play a character that they are happy about and I’m willing to change up any skeleton. I just need to know the applicant is willing to work with me instead of against me. 

Do not be afraid to deny applications. I used to never do this because I felt it was too mean and judgmental but now I realize I reserve the right as an admin to deny any app or character that I don’t vibe with. Go with your gut, and if the application is making you uncomfortable or nervous in any way, do not accept them. Sometimes it’s better to have one role go unwritten than to have someone who isn’t good for the group. Because both ic and ooc dynamics contribute to the effectiveness and survival of the group, you need to be excited to work with everyone and their characters. 

One of the ways that I protect myself from muns who may not be right for the rp is by putting a password in the rules. Often the apps that make me uncomfortable are the ones that disregard or contradict the skeleton or plot. It’s clear that the mun either wasn’t paying attention, reading the pages carefully, or just chose to ignore what they read. It’s often That the apps that I don’t vibe with end up being the ones that don’t read the rules and therefor don’t put the password. So not only is it a good indicator to me that the mun might not be very considerate but it’s also a great default reason to deny an app without having to tell the mun directly that you didn’t like other aspects of their app. Most often I allow them to reapply if they’d like to but their acceptance won’t be immediate, so that there’s a chance someone else might apply for the same role with an application than doesn’t skeeve me out.

ONCE YOU’VE MADE THE DECISION

Write out your acceptance notes. I try to write a full paragraph for everyone when I am accepting for a skeleton rp. If there’s more than 20 characters being accepted then obviously don’t, since that’s way too much to ask of you. But if it’s a small group I always endorse writing a little welcome the chosen mun saying what ti was about their appt hat you gravitated towards. It’s kind of a way to also provide feedback to those who were denied as to what their app might have been missing. Plus, it’s just a good way to get the right vibes going for the ooc portion of the rp. Muns need to feel appreciated! After all they put in the work to get there! 

I also like to offer feedback to those who were denied but with a disclaimer that most apps are chosen based on how they mesh with the other apps, since that’s something no one can anticipate. Usually the quality of the writing isn’t as big of a factor as how the character plays into dynamics with the others and whether or not their desired plots and connections with your vision and everyone else’s. Most of the time people won’t take you up on it, but be kind and thoughtful to those who do. However, if they are aggressive towards you in any way because they are upset about being denied block them immediately. Just trust me on that one. 

Keep everyone updated as to your progress! Just telling everyone where you are at (in the process of reading apps, writing the acceptance notes, or taking a break) is a good way to put everyone’s minds at ease. It’s especially important to let people know if you are logging off for a while on acceptance day.  That way people aren’t stuck refreshing the page and dreading that you might be ignoring them. On acceptance day I like to make a post every time I come online or go offline. It may seem like oversharing but it’s honestly so helpful to both you and the applicants. 

POST-ACCEPTANCES

Once you are about to start posting acceptance notes, turn off anon. I know that anon can be very useful for those shy and curious folks that don’t want to im you directly, but this is another case where you’re just gonna have to trust me. For your mental health turn off anon and keep it off for at least 48 hours. I usually keep it off permanently unless there are more roles that need to be filled in a second round of acceptances. There aren’t really any questions that should need to be asked anonymously once you have a full roster of muns and this is a good way to get people used to asking you questions via discord, im, or dm. To prevent nasties from bullying you and to open the line of communication between you and your members, turn off anon! 

And finally, once you have posted acceptances, close your laptop or turn off your monitor and don’t come back to it for at least an hour. I like to give myself two hours to go on a walk, eat some food, and just do non-rp things for a while. Acceptances are stressful and it’s important not to get swept up in it and feel overwhelmed. Taking a step back and remembering you exist outside of rp and outside of being an admin is so important. It’s hard to resist temptation, but if you have anon off really the only thing that’ll come into your inbox are follow messages and those can wait for two hours (or more)! But like I said above, keep everyone updated that you are going to log off for a bit and you’ll be back. Just so no one assumes the worst. 

Just remember to be kind to your applicants and to yourself! It’s a stressful time for everyone! 

[gallavictorious]

11x01 Reaction Post

Random thoughts on and reactions to 11x01; no careful analysis or anything, just the bits and pieces that's not likely to make it into meta proper but which I still want to make note of so I can go back later and remember what my initial reaction to the episode was (since my impressions are likely to change as the season unfolds). Mostly Gallavich related, because duh, but there's disordered rambling on a bit of everything. Under a cut (God I miss LJ sometimes) because this got long.

Ian looks damned good as the homocidal muscle. I don't do AU:s, but if I did... On the other hand, Frank as a member of the Chicago “Eight” looks like a werewolf. Less interested in that AU. And listen, I get that they couldn't get Emmy Rossum for this, but I really miss Fiona showing up in a few random olden day pictures. She's gone, but she's still a Gallagher dammit! Carl at the slaughter house looked weird – and part of me thought that was appropriate because slightly off editing would be a sweet way of communicating that it's all bollocks, but the rest of shots looked okay (Debbie as a milk maid and Frank as the aforementioned werewolf) or good (everything else) so no.

The sound of a baby crying is a horror matched only by persistent lack of sleep so I feel for Lip and Tami so much. Here's to all parents who managed to get through the first year without murdering anybody! I think that maybe you don't get enough credit... I, for instance, want to kill someone just hearing Freddie cry in the background for half a minute. Not sure it bodes too well for their relationship for them to be so ready to spend every night apart like Lip suggests, but a, what wouldn't you do for a good night's sleep, and b, love the thought of Lip spending more time at the old house. Could see them breaking up during the course of the season, though. Not sure how I feel about that – Tami's my favourite out of Lip's love interests, but having too many of the couples staying together all through the finale wouldn't feel quite right (for Shameless) and I don't see them breaking up Ian and Mickey or Kev and V. Don't really expect Sandy or Debbie to last either, but since it's more of a casual thing it might have more of a casual end.

Do you remember when the promo dropped and there was Concern about That Look on Ian's face after he kisses Mickey, and I tag theorized about it being because Mickey stole his coffee? Turns out there wasn't really A Look in the actual episode, but I sure as hell was right about the coffee, and I want noted somewhere. Maybe there should also be a small diploma? A golden statue seems a little over the top, but I mean, if you insist...

I appreciate that Ian is very adament about it being their money but when Mickey thinks it's their breakfast it's suddenly every man for himself. Do you share or not, Ian? Hmm? (Let the record show that I'm joking, please. Ian is damned right to take his toast back, and I say this as a “person most likely to steal their partner's toast right out of their hand”. I also love that Mickey completely gives up on breakfast when he can't have Ian's toast and just grabs a beer instead.) The kitchen scene is glorious and I just really like their dynamic here; the casual kiss, “I only make breakfast for husbands who have jobs”, how relaxed it is even when Ian's a bit annoyed, Mickey being so... Mickey. I do wonder what went through his head when Ian started talking about their wedding present money, though – he seems worried for a moment, but then shrugs it off, and that could be either bravado or just actual lack of concern. I tend mostly towards the latter, since Mickey quite genuinely figures this isn't a big deal (even though he still recognizes that Ian will probably think it one). Please note that he immediately offers to get money when Ian mentions that they need more of it coming in. Not his fault Ian vetoes his methods, right? (Also love that Ian's objection is due to him not wanting to be separated from Mickey, rather than any moral qualms about robbing stores.)

Okay, the gag ball. Would they really keep it like that if they were actually using it? Maybe either of them just tossed it there after taking it off, I suppose... Yeah, I don't know. Not what I'd imagined them being into, but that might be my own extreme lack of enthusiasm for gag balls and harnesses talking. Either they're into it and if so, you do you, boys, or it was a gift and they're keeping it around and semi-prominently on display for shits and giggles. (But if it was a gift, they did try it at least once, right?)

Mickey in the bath remains stupidly and surprisingly gorgerous. Incidentally, I really don't think his question about the meds is any indication of him not thinking them important, but there's little wonder that Ian bristles at the mention of them. Maybe not be an ass just to prove a point, eh, Mick?

I've already talked about how hard Ian is trying here but let's just take another moment to congratulate our boy on his persistent attempts at mature communication. Though he might have given some actual consideration to Mickey not wanting to save the money if he's really serious about them making decisions together... But he gets there! I think this whole situation – which would royally piss most people, including me, off – is actually particularly difficult for Ian, because he might well see Mickey's behavior as uncomfortably reminiscent of Frank and Monica's destructive habits and yeah, that would fuck him up. And still! He forces himself to calm down! He takes Mickey's hand! He refuses to let himself be distracted by Mickey looking SO INSANELY PRETTY I CANNOT EVEN UNDERSTAND IT! Ian, I salute you!

[starwars_eu_nerd_mode]KORRIBAN! YES! HA! TAKE THAT DISNEY! You take your new so-called “canon” and your “Moraband” and you fuck right off. I salute you, Bitcoin Boy![/starwars_eu_nerd_mode]

Ah, the porch scene... This one I do have a bunch of thoughs on that will probably make it into meta proper one day, so I'll leave it for now. It was the one that took the most thinking about for me to square (still not a lot, it should be noted), but now I'm actually very happy about it. (Full disclosure: none of their scenes feel quite right the first time I see them these days, because I'm just so very on edge about what's to come that I kind of miss the forest for all the trees you know? It's not a Shameless thing – it's always like this when I'm extremely invested in something and have waited for it for some time. Will it fit with how I see the characters? Will it be cringey? Will Mickey suddenly profess a love for hideous Hawaii shirts? Also, what are they saying because English is hard... But then I watch them a couple of times and they sink in and I start to get giddy over them. I guess watching actual canon unfold always requires a little bit of re-calibration if you've been busy fanoning while waiting for it to arrive, and while I love that sort of interpretative work, there’s also the fear that the show will veer off into a direction I cannot easily follow.)

Mickey's insistence that he spelled monogamy wrong does genuinely amuse me. Not to mention the whole “No more parking tickets for me!” - “You don't have a car, dumbass.” Also, Mickey being friendly with Carl kills me, in a good way. Family FTW!

Frank's storyline fails to stir even the vaguest hint of interest in me, as per usual. For all his talk of family in this episode, the lack of interaction with any of his kids is striking. If he's to have any value at all this season I'll need him to get involved in the rest of the Gallagher's storylines (which seems like it might be happening at least for a bit later on, so I'm vaguely hopeful?). I find but faint intrigue in Carl's and Debbie's stuff, but it doesn’t annoy me either so I'll call it a win. Kev and V are (almost) always a delight, but do anyone else feel like their kids are only props, even to them? I don't know... I just don't think there's a connection or sense of realness to their relationship, you know? Maybe it's just me... Anyway, here's to hoping V turning pageant mom changes all that! Oh, and I'll need Liam to have some more screentime and stuff to do.

The Tommy and Kermit thing was weird. Eh. Whatever.

Sandy is so gorgerous. I can't. The Milkoviches really be bringing it this episode.

This is only the second season I've watched episode by episode as it airs (other one was S6) and it's a curiuos experience. I think that by and large, and particularly in later seasons, Shameless works better when you binge it, but I love the delightful anticipation of waiting for a new episode and the feverent discussion that follows. Sometimes I also despair over the ferverent discussion that follows, but... you know. It is what it is. Admittedly, any attempts at meta this early in the season is a precarious venture at best, since we don't have the whole story, and it might be wiser to abstain but it's just so much fun, so I'm not very likely to stop.

All in all, I love the Gallavich stuff, am intrigued by Lip & Tami and Kev & V's lives, okay with whatever Debbie and Carl's got going on, hot for Sandy, bored by Frank, and missing Liam. It sets up a lot of promising things, but as an episode all unto itself it felt a bit empty – probably because there were no real plots and the storylines didn't intersect as much as I would have liked them to. Shameless is best when it's about family, which both the show and Frank seems to recognize, but there's little narrative follow-through on that realization in this episode; everyone is pretty much doing their own thing. Adored the Lip and Ian convo, and that house party scene was wonderful, but so short. Think we'll get more of all of them together going forward, though, and more actual plots too, so I'm very excited about it all. Can't wait for Sunday!

[franeridart]

Anon said: I love your cartoon mice! You could make a series out of them!

I could!! I’d love to!!!!!! If you guys would be interested in me posting more of the original/cartoonish animals-and-still-life stuff I doodle I wouldn’t mind sharing at all!!!

@notanerd579​ said: hey! i’ve been a fan of yours for quite a while and i’ve had your post notifs on for some time. lately i noticed how quiet you’ve been so i looked up your page, and i somehow was no longer following you? i don’t know what happened, but i wanna make sure u know in case it’s happened to any of your other followers

Answering this publicly cause it seemed like you wanted me to, thank you so much! Both for following me again and for being worried it might have happened to someone else!! I hope not ;;;; 

Anon said: your iidayama fusion... love him so much

Ohhhhhhhhhhh I’m glad, I loved that one concept probably the most out of every other one!

Anon said: Ahhh i love your art style so much!!!! Thank for all the good Kiribaku stuff my dude!!!❤❤

No anon thank you!!!!! 💕💕💕

Anon said: So, I’m just wondering what makes u ship Seromina? My friend only said that their shipped because there the only last two in the Bakusquad, ( Kiribaku, Kamijirou )

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH oh, okay! Actually I have no clue if that’s why other people ship them? It might be? It might also be that them being the last two out of the group made people consider the ship and then start actually enjoy the possibility of it? I don’t know! Personally SeroMina is one of the ships I’ve been shipping the longest (I’ve been on it since before starting to like kamijirou, actually!) and one of the only three ships in bnha I have a seriously hard time breaking up and shipping around (the other two being ochadeku and bakushima) so I’m reasonably sure my ending up liking them was an independent thought process and it wasn’t guided by shipping other things? But it’s been so long that I can’t really say why I first considered them as a possibility, so who knows, really! Might be, might not!

The reason why I’m still shipping it right now is that I find them highly compatible, that their interactions in canon give me life, and that I just find them extremely visually pleasing - I think I have a very specific way of shipping them? In my head? I have this story about them, or... an ideal way in which I like to think they might happen, and it makes me very happy and makes me feel very warm and it’s just, it’s ideal? To me, the possibility of Sero and Ashido ending up together would make for an ideal lovestory and relationship, it just gives me the fuzzies haha it’s like, you know, they’re very very good friends, and to me that’s the most solid base to start a relationship, and they’re comfortable with one another which is wonderful. They’re the same type of silly and extra and rowdy which is fun, and I’m very very stuck on the fact that when Ashido was talking about her future agency she just assumed Sero would be in it - she wants him in her future??? how cute is that!! he wasn’t the only one she mentioned so I’m not saying it’s “canon proof” or whatever, I just like that out of the squad the only one she assumed would be with her in the future is Sero, it’s soft I like it. And I like how she’s by canon called bright and shining and eyecatching and Sero’s by canon called plain, I like the possibilities in that, the feelings in that, but especially I like the idea of bright shining wonderful Ashido with her love for everything romantic and always in search of her own shining love story one day looking at Sero and realizing that she doesn’t want anyone else!! because he makes her laugh! he makes her happy! he makes her feel like she’s perfect the way she is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! with her loud laugh and childish sense of humor and overly-bright fashion sense, and I love love love the idea of Sero thinking her completely out of his league and never thinking anything could ever happen between them but like, not in a sad pining sort of way? more in a “she’s ideal and I know she’s out of my league so I’m not putting any thought in it but she ideal”, only for Ashido!!! to confess!!!!!!! To HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just thinking about it makes me feel all warm inside I’m talking too much okay I know I just love them So Much Hori please don’t pair them off with someone else I’ll cry a river

Anon said: Have you seen the newest BNHA chapter??

THIS WAS ABOUT THE KAMIJIROU ONE HELL YEAH I READ THE KAMIJIROU CHAPTER HOLY H E C K

Anon said: Kiribaku, am I right?

you’re So Right, anon

Anon said: first off, i LIVE for your art, it always makes me so happy to see the boys!! also i am impressed with the way you made sero's elbows look anatomically correct he is a Good boy but man is he hard to draw and u did that

THANK YOU!!!! I actually spent a whole lot of time trying to figure out a way to draw his elbows that made sense to me and most times I still struggle with it a lot but I’m super happy to hear the way I go about it makes sense to you!!

Anon said: I was just wondering if you were still into Haikyuu?

Hell yeah! Both following the new anime season and still following the manga!

Anon said: Blue, grey, cinnamon, periwinkle, mauve, blush, indigo, fuchsia, lavender, saffron, plum, sage, viridian, burgundy. Colors taken from mk-58

...............................anon I’m sorry I have no clue what this is about orz

Anon said: Hey there! I love your art so much! Would you ever consider drawing Genos from One Punch Man? He’s my friend’s favorite character and she would totally love it. If not, that’s ok whatever you’re comfortable with :)

Ahhhh I’m sorry anon but I don’t really make a habit of drawing OPM stuff ): I’m glad you like my style, though! Thank you!!

Anon said: IS THIS WHERE YOU'VE BEEN HIDING MY DEAR~?? I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR YOOOOOOOOU~~~~~~~

I also don’t know what THIS is about!!!! is this a song I’m supposed to know because I feel like it is but it’s been weeks and my brain just isn’t cooperating!!!

Anon said: Not a question but I NEED you to know that your bokuroteru tattoo au comic gave me the biggest motivation to start writing again (albeit for bnha, instead of haikyuu) because it's just sooo good!! Their interaction, the way bokuro seem confident and comfortable even tho they're actually lame dorks who blush a lot, the way teru confessed to the two guys, their kisses //// just gahhh everything about your comic gave me the dokis. You're an inspiration

I’m so so so happy to hear that oh my god!!! (TTATT) the fact that that comic can still make people feel stuff means so much to me holy heck I’m gonna cry ;;;;;;;;;;;;;; 💕💕💕💕💕💕

Anon said: CAN WE HAVE MORE AKANE?? PLEASE I LOVE THAT CHILD TO DEATH!!!! I'm new to the blog so Idk if this would be a request but...I just really want some Akane...

I do wanna draw more of her!!!!!!!!! I just don’t have any ideas at all!!!!!!! I hope inspo will come back to me soon ;; meanwhile thank you so much for being interested in my little rude bean TT^TT

Anon said:  !!! i just scrolled through my dash and saw some icon set post that had a a character i didn't recognize, but the image in the middle was familiar, and i realized it was your art ;; so i 1) was proud of myself for recognizing your style immediately and 2) asked op to take the post down since there was no credit and the image was edited. hope you have a lovely day! i got your back 💞

Thank you so much for looking out for me, anon!!!!!! 💕💕💕💕 you’re the best and I appreciate you A LOT

Anon said: OH MY GOD YOU DREW GALO AND LIO I JUST WATCHED PROMARE TODAY AND I THOUGHT "THEY LOOK FAMILIAR"

I have so many more ideas for those two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m not sure WHY I’m not drawing more, honestly!!!!! my hands lately haven’t been very cooperative orz

Anon said: Ok so Idk if I lowkey offended u with my last ask so IM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME IT WAS A JOKE

NOT OFFENDED SORRY FOR THE WAY I WORDED THE ANSWER seriously I’m really sorry I was just kind of already beating myself up over the fact that I haven’t been posting enough so the answer ended up sounding like that because in my brain I was like yeah fran where IS the stuff!!!!! so, yeah. It was more on me than on you, I’m really sorry for that ;;