#if Sans could be chunky so can he

[undertale-writing-times]

I NEED MORE BEHEMOTH IN MY LIFE

He's so ♥

I would love if you would write a small thang about Y/N's child getting into fights with Puppy, so their teacher pulls in Y/N and B in to talk it over and it basically is like instant connection?

fluffy and wholesome aw

Hey! Hey! Thanks for your ask! (That's my sister :D)

This is what he's wearing

Behemoth was beyond pissed when he first heard that someone was trying to pick fights with his daughter. Puppy was the sweetest person in the world! She was like if every SINGLE bit of sugar was put into a skeleton and fire monster hybrid, then they grew more just to put it into her! She was sweet; she was his little girl! His cupcake. His baby girl... and some random BRAT thought that they were good enough to even talk to her? Let alone bully her? Yeah, no! Behemoth wasn't going to take that crap from anyone. Let alone some punk human kid! If he wouldn't accept that from other monsters, he wouldn't accept that from a HUMAN.

So when he heard that there was someone trying to pick fights, he was rightfully annoyed... until he got there. The two kids were playing together, as if they didn't even remember the fight. Puppy was smacking her doll into the boys doll, while saying, “Bah bah bah! You're dead!” the boy laughs and throws his doll into the air, saying, “Noooo! Bleh, dead.” then lays back and Puppy laughs, jumping on top of him. Huh? He frowns, confused, and turned his head to see the parent sitting over there. It was after school hours so Behemoth knew that that wasn't one of the teachers. He made sure to do checks on the teachers... just in case. Why was he called about his child being in a fight if the children were just playing together? This was not a fight, this was a game.

He slowly walks over to the other parent, his tail swishing slowly behind him, more annoyed than happy but more confused now than annoyed, “Vere vu called apout zee fights too?” the other parent looked up at him, probably having to tilt their head back to see his face. Behemoth WAS 6'11 after all.

Behemoth had ran straight home from work when he heard what happened to change. Of course he didn't want to go there in his uniform! It was gross and messy, at least now he looked a little respectable. The person lets out a sigh, then laughs, nodding in approval, “I was worried too, but it seems as though they don't even remember it.” They look up at him and smile, adding, “I'm Y/n, what's your name?”

Anger was supposed to rush through his bones. Rage from his Puppy being bullied, but none of that came. Instead... his soul felt so warm. It was skipping in his chest and he even feared it being seen through his sweater—even though that was very unlikely since it was pretty dang thick—instead he clicks his teeth together turning his head away, not responding at first. So Puppy was having fun with this boy, that's good, at least and the parent—Y/n—seemed kind.

“Pehemoth. Your poy; did he sdart it or did Buppy? Has zee teacher told vu Hanyzing?” When he got a shake of the head back, he lets out a sigh and sits down, leaning back in the chair ignoring the light creaks from it. It happened just because of his height, even if he did have a 'dad bod' as he heard a few people say in his bakery. What was a dad bod, anyway? He was a father, that was easy to guess! Weren't all dads dad bods? "It zeems as zough, effen if zey had ein fight, zey're getting along now... haffe zey peen blaying long?"

Y/n got a smile on their face and nodded as they said, “Oh, yeah, they have been. Since I got here pretty much... your, ah, child did start a small fire, though. Is that normal?” This time it was Behemoth's turn to laugh. Ah yes, that was very normal! He knew that she had good control over her fire magic, and normally she could control what it burned and what it didn't. It was something that he was very impressed by so he pulls out his wallet and holds it out to them to see, "Ja ja, fery normal. Zee, zis vas zee first time zat sche zet herzelf on fire. Sche has peen like zat zince! I first pelieffed zat sche didn't get Hanyzing from her mozer put look at her now... ja, her mozer is nein longer in zee bicture, put I am zo haby Buppy is healthy. Zee fire von't hurt unless vu schtand in zee middle of it. Plue Hatdacks, Hinteresding, are zey not?"

“Blue attacks?” They asked, then lean over to look at the picture and laugh, “Who is that other skeleton in the background freaking out?” they ask, and he looked at the picture again before snorting and starting to explain that that was his brother. The 'true' owner of the bakery that they have. Behemoth himself handled all of the baking. His brother, the selling. That was why Behemoth normally smelled like sweets... while they spoke the children played until the teacher came in and said both kids got a warning. The parents, luckily, didn't seem to exactly CARE and they started to plan meet ups! Erm... for... for the kids! Of course!

[llamagoddessofficial]

Excuse me could we get some farmtale sans headcanon please just a crumb

You don't need to ask twice lol

He's deceptively strong, even by Sans standards. He's on par with Skull for raw strength. This guy carries massive heavy things pretty much for a living; he loads bales bigger than you. He could carry you around on one arm, and he might genuinely tuck you under one arm if he needs to carry you while he's busy

However he is also extremely Somft. He simply wants to sit on the couch and wear chunky knit sweaters and drink soup all day.

His greatest talent is coming up with places to nap that are out of sight of Papyrus. You'll be regularly tripping over him

He's wonderful to nap with! He smells like straw and sweet veg, his strong arms are perfect for cuddles. He is unreasonably comfy.

He flirts by giving you things from the farm. He'll show up to your door without warning, carrying cartons of fresh eggs, boxes full of veg, butters and jams and chutneys... one time, even a whole wheel of cheese.

(Probably saves you hundreds on groceries.)

Papyrus frequently asks you to go check on Sans while he's working, maybe to bring him food or a drink, 'see if he's doing it right', etc. Papyrus knows Sans is absolutely fine and knows how to do those jobs. But he also knows that Sans makes an art out of half-assing certain chores and making them take forever... if you're there, Sans wants to show off, and he ends up working twice as fast.

Sans has a way with animals. His vibes are just so easygoing that even the most high-strung creatures like him. Anytime he falls asleep, he ends up with chickens sitting with/on him until he wakes up.

For a guy who works with plants, he's pretty terrible at remembering the names of them. He knows the important ones, and that's about it. Don't expect him to remember more than he absolutely has to.

He's an excellent seamster! If anything you like rips, let him know. He can make it look good as new.

His love language is acts of service. He does the absolute bare minimum for people he doesn't like, and equally, he does So Much for people he loves (like you). He'll tow you for miles if you break down, he'll pick you up from anywhere at any time without complaint, he'll lend you incredibly important items of his as if it's no big deal. If you leave him alone in your home for too long he'll find something to repair or tweak... clothes, furniture, holes in the walls/creaky windows, etc. You'll come downstairs in the morning to find out he's fixed your heating.

His ideal date is driving out to a quiet field at night, then sitting under a blanket together and watching the stars. He may not know his plants... but he knows his stars, that's for sure.

Too bad he'll be too busy looking at you.

[withahappyrefrain]

this one is so cute! 🍂🍁🍃

A stands in a queue when they notice a leaf stuck in the hair/on the clothes of the person in front of them. They offer to remove it for them.

for bob and maeve?

AHHHH so excited to start writing for these two! And of course I had to bring in Bradley and Birdie! ❤️❤️ Enjoy!

Fall in San Diego was different. By the time October started rolling, the average temperature had cooled down to a ‘crisp’ seventy degrees. Chunky sweaters were traded in for light cardigans. Sure, you could wear a scarf, but not a functional one. Gone were the days of needing gloves.

It was a stark difference from the east coast.

Gone was the scenic view of mountains and orchards. In its place were micro-breweries and overpriced wineries. But also gone was a shitty ex husband. In its place, the unknown.

At least the farmer markets here still sold apple butter.

It was a consolidation prize for Maeve. She was forever grateful that Nora wanted to show her around, but that also meant third wheeling for Nora and her fiancé. Worse, they were sickeningly in love. She had never been so happy for her best friend, but also so fucking jealous at the same time.

So she would enjoy these last few moments, while Nora was trying to find her partner amidst the crowd. They tried to not make her feel bad, but being around them reminded Maeve how alone she had become.

Wait, did that guy have a leaf on his back?

Upon squinting her hazel eyes, she saw that man standing in front of her did in fact, have a leaf on the back of his plaid shirt.

Should she- oh thank God, he was reaching for it. Now Maeve wouldn't have to look at it while standing in line.

Nope. Despite his long arms, the leaf had wedged itself in a place where he couldn't reach. Oh God, was she going to have to watch him struggle the whole time?

Wanting to save her sanity outweighed her dislike of talking to strangers.

"I can get it for you, the leaf. If you want?"

He turned around to reveal a face that made her heart flutter. Bright blue eyes, bluer than the ocean. Tortoiseshell glasses that framed his face. Sunkissed hair, tousled in waves. A button nose that brought a sense of sweetness to him. A smattering of faded freckles, no doubt from hours upon hours of being out in the sun.

"Could you? That would be great, otherwise it's gonna bother me all day?" His voice was smooth as whiskey, a rural upbringing lacing his words.

But what was most astounding was his smile. The way his thin pink lips contorted to form a small, slightly crooked smile. The creases that formed around his oceanic eyes, showing years of smiles and laughter.

God, he just looked kind. The type that Maeve always wondered what it would be like to have. To see first thing in the morning and the last thing when she closed her eyes at night.

"M'am?" It didn't come across as condescending, it was actually charming. It was also said in such a deep vibrato that Maeve to snap out of whatever the fuck those last two minutes was.

It's been three months, for fuck sake's Maeve.

Why would he even be interested in you?

This is why you're a twenty-eight year old divorceé.

Maeve nodded as she mentally scolded herself, "Absolutely, not a problem."

Bob turned around, despite not wanting to. He would rather focus on the umber curls that framed her face. Or the way shades of hickory and green swirled together in her eyes. His favorite had to be how her eyes squinted when she smiled. His mother would call that as having 'smiley eyes' when he was a child.

Jesus Christ, we're really desperate now.

It wouldn't end well for you anyways. Never does.

That's why you're thirty-four and still single, Robert.

So in a way, he was grateful to turn around, as it was a chance to get himself together.

That lasted for maybe ten seconds. Bob couldn't tell if touch was incredibly gentle or if she wasn't touching him. So he turned his head, catching her reaching out.

The eye contact made Maeve freeze for a beat or two. Once Bob flashed her that sweet smile, she found the strength to continue, internally marveling at how soft his shirt felt.

He must use fabric softener. Maybe he attends this market regularly. Maybe-

It's been three months.

Yes, three months since the document was signed and it was made official legally. But the acceptance of a unsustainable marriage had occured a year ago.

She held up the leaf for effect, "You want to keep it as memorabilia?"

Bob chuckled, making Maeve feel warm all over, as if she had just drank mulled cider, "No, no, I think I'm good. But I'd love to buy that for you as a way to say thanks."

This time it was her turn to shake her head, "Oh, it was nothing! Just a leaf." Bob noticed that when she shook her head, the curls that had fallen over his forehead shook slightly.

God, she was adorable. Absolutely, completely endearing.

"Yeah, but that would have bothered me the whole time I was with my friends. I wouldn't have been able to focus on anything else," he grinned, "Plus you had no issue talking to a complete stranger. That's gotta be commended."

A laugh escapes from her rosey lips, "I usually hate talking to strangers." Fuck, why would you even say that?

If he found it odd, the handsome stranger didn't visibly or vocally show it, "Yeah, I'm not a huge fan of that either. Again, gotta be commended."

She looked down at the jar of apple butter, "It would be faster if you paid for mine. I'm meeting some friends too."

"Happy to serve," the unintentional pun about his career was lost on her. At least he could bring it up to Mickey, who would get a good laugh out of it. And his wife Cielo too. And then they would probably do something sweet, like kiss while holding hands, unintentionally reminding Bob how utterly alone it felt coming home from work every day.

Their hands brushed against one another when Maeve transferred the jar to Bob. He turned around, partly to see if he needed to step forward, partly to hide the smile on his face.

Had he turned around, he would have seen the same smile on her face. One that was full of excitement, felt for the first time in years. Just like him.

Eventually, he looked back, this time mainly to see if his friends were amidst the crowd of shoppers.

He felt the need to explain, out of fear of coming across as creepy, "My friend went looking for his fiancé. She's bringing her best friend."

What a coincidence, Nora's fiancé was bringing a friend too.

Yeah, to help you feel less shitty about always being their third wheel.

"Well does your friend have any idea where his fiancé could be?" Maeve asked as Bob paid for the two jars of apple butter.

"Oh yeah, Birdie's first stop is always the Takyaki stand," Bob paused, "Birdie isn't her real name, it's just-"

"Do you mean Nora?" Maeve's voice was now timid. Blood rushing through her veins, wondering if it was too good to be true.

Bob stopped in his tracks, brows knitting together, "How do you know her name?"

Before Maeve could explain, two new voices interrupted.

"Bob?" "Maeve?"

Turning around revealed Nora (who many referred to as 'Birdie'), who was holding the hand of her fiancé, Bradley (who at work was referred to as 'Rooster').

Bob and Maeve turned their attention back to one another, realization hitting like a brick wall.

He's the kindest guy I know. You'll love him.

She's honestly just the sweetest. It's a damn shame what happened.

They're like you. They've been through similar shit.

"You're Maeve?" He had a long finger pointed at her (God his hands were huge) but it wasn't accusing.

Maeve felt at ease, like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders as she nodded, her eyes creasing due to her smile.

There were those smiley eyes that made his knees weak.

"I am and you're Bob? Just Bob, right? No totally random, work nickname?" With anyone else, it would have been demeaning. A few years ago, Bob would have taken offense.

But his shoulders were feeling lighter these days thanks to the past actually staying in its namesake more often.

"Well, my full name is Robert. I have some family who call me Rob, some call me Robby but that's because I gave them explicit permission to do so, not everyone reaches that level. And then some of my friends call me Bobby. So in terms of work nickname, you're correct, it's not totally random." His eyes were so expressive, it was memorizing to watch.

Charming. He was actually charming.

"Well, I think having multiple nicknames that are based off of your actual name is better than having one and it's a children's game or bird," she turned her head to flash a smile, "No offense Bradley."

Bradley, who was used to her strong opinions on call signs and now only a foot away, simply rolled his eyes, "No offense taken Maeve. But we do call him Bagman, remember?"

A coy smile spread across her face, something Bob found so endearing.

"So you two....know each other?" Nora asked, raising an eyebrow. She swears she would have remembered her best friend meeting one of her fiancé's best work friends.

"We actually just met. Maeve saved me from an afternoon of trying to reach a spot on my back to get rid of a leaf," Bob explained, gently putting his hand on Maeve's shoulder. His touch was pleasant, considerate even.

"Bob got me some apple butter as a thank you," Maeve held up the jar while looking down, hoping no one would notice the rosy hue that was spreading across her face.

"Which, I assume is to make your famous cinnamon sugar apple butter pie?" Bob now turned to her, his eyes lit up with excitement.

Catching her confused expression, Bob jumped in, "When you left a pie after visiting Birdie, Bradley brought in leftovers. It was a huge hit, I still think about it."

Charlie always had an issue with whatever she cooked. Too salty. Not healthy babe. Why are you even making that?

But Charlie wasn't here. He was on the east coast, no doubt trying to find another gullible person to invest in one of his bullshit 'ideas'.

Instead there was Bob, who had a sparkle in his eyes. Who had not only heard about you, but remembered details too.

God, the bar was so fucking low.

Meanwhile, Bob hadn't thought about Cassie once since meeting the curly, raven haired woman with the most adorable smile he had ever seen.

"Well, given the lack of a paper bag in Nora's hand, I'd say it's time we head to the Hog Haven stand and get some breakfast sandwiches," Maeve suggested, hoping it would turn the attention away from her.

"Absolutely! I know Bob wanted to stop by the pickling stand for Sauerkraut and that's on the way!" Nora grabbed Bradley's hand, and walked forward, leaving Bob and Maeve to walk side by side.

Almost as if it was planned that way.

"What's the Sauerkraut for?" Maeve asked, secretly noticing how he slowed his stride to match hers.

"I'm making Bigos. It means 'Hunter Stew' in Polish. My mom made it for me and my siblings all the time growing up. She's back in Wisconsin, and since it's finally 'cooled down' here, figured it was a good time to make it."

Bob can't remember the last time he felt this talkative to someone new. Usually it takes hours, sometimes even multiple outings for him to warm up. And that was if he liked the person's company.

It took him two months to warm up to Jake.

But something about Maeve had him talking a mile a minute. Even Bradley had turned around to raise his eyebrows at how much Bob was talking. He had to be careful; the last thing he needed was to be in the same situation he was in six years ago.

"I'm not super familiar with Polish food- other than bagels and pierogi's- but I'd like to learn more about it," her voice was sweet, albeit slightly reserved. Not wanting to appear too eager, or insinuate anything.

"I have a whole box of recipes from my mom and Aunts and Grandma. I can bring it next time-" He paused. No, don't assume. Never assume. "I can pass it on to Bradley who can give it to Birdie. Whichever you prefer."

"We can leave y'all to talk to each other if you want!" Bradley called out before turning his attention back to Nora.

"I have a feeling this won't be the last time we see each other. Not if those two lovebirds have anything to say about it." Her comment brought out a laugh in Bob, which in turn caused a big smile to break out across Maeve's face.

"Glad I'm not the only one who calls them that. Everyone else says it's too cheesy." "Well, those people have no love or appreciation for puns. Luckily for you Robby, I do."

He didn't correct her. In fact, he liked how the name sounded coming from her pink lips.

"Maybe we can keep talking about puns and recipes while they," Bob pointed to Bradley and Nora, who were currently holding hands and exchanging (what they thought to be) sneaky kisses, "Are themselves."

"So they act this way around you too?" Maeve's eyes lit up, relieved she wasn't the only one who had to deal with the most sickeningly sweet couple on the planet, "Being a third wheel with them is rough."

The two had now stopped at the pickles goods stand, ignoring their friends who had invited them out.

"I think it's going well! I never saw her smile this much with Charlie," Nora whispered excitedly, unable to take her green eyes off of Maeve and Bob.

"I'd say so," Bradley looked at Nora, not needing to see that his friend was talking to Maeve with a gleam in his blue eyes, a rare sight, "You know it's not going to happen overnight, right?"

"I'm aware. But I think they're off to a good start," Nora grinned. The sight of her best friend, looking the happiest she's seen in the past year, kept her bounce on her toes.

Bob and Maeve were indeed, off to a good start.

[shunin-gumis]

Designs of Happiness - Track A13

L4mps Main Story Translation

Title: POTHARU

Characters: Toi, Akuta, Nagi, Raito, Yodaka

Summary: The protagonist is invited by Akuta and Raito to the Friday Film viewing, along with Nagi and Toi. Sympathizing with the shy Nagi, Toi decides to join for his sake. 

Thank you aca @463ce6, jes @arcanecrayonn myun @/myuntachis and Niri for helping me with proofing!

Location: HAMA House - Personal Room

Akuta: The Friday Film Show is about to S.T.A.R.T! 

Momiji: I knew it’d be you, Akuta-kun. But, Raito-san as well? You’re an odd pair to spot together. 

Raito: It’s true. One night, I’d found him face down in the hallway because he was too hungry, so I took him out to have some late-night ramen. He’s been attached to my hip ever since. 

Akuta: A debt of gratitude that tastes like firm noodles, thick soup, extra oil and topped with a ramen egg, along with a side of a chunky chashu bowl! 

Momiji: Ahaha, I’m glad to see that the fellow leaders are getting along with each other.

Raito: Indeed. I find him adorable in a different way than I do Nayuki. 

Momiji: (Akuta-kun does kind of make you want to treat him like a younger brother… Meanwhile Nayuki is like a cat that refuses to fall for any bait Raito-san might throw his way…)

Akuta: C’mon, come ON!! Let’s get a move on already! We gotta go ‘round the other rooms too!

Raito: You’re right, we’re short on time. The film playing tonight is “Spirited Away to the Valley in the Sky.” It’s Studio Ghizli’s masterpiece*, so Akuta is full of energy.

Akuta: Teach and… uh, Nagi-san, and Toi-san? You two want in?

Nagi and Toi: Oh, um… 

Raito: This would be a good opportunity to deepen our bonds. 

Akuta: Heck yeah! We can be buddies who finish each other’s popcorn! Come watch with us~

Momiji: Ahaha! We got it already, we’ll see you there. 

Akuta: ASAP, ‘kay!? Aight! Onwards to the next room!

Raito: Akuta, we just came from that direction.

*Raito and Akuta leave*

Momiji: …And that’s that. Since we’ve settled on where to go for the study trip, we should head down for the film viewing. 

Toi: Ah, yes… There’s gonna be a lot of people, huh…?

Momiji: Probably, but… What’s wrong? You look restless all of a sudden. You were bouncing around during the party last time though.

Toi: T-That’s because I was in the presence of Chii-sama! I might have… maybe lost my mind over the excitement…

Momij: (So he was in something of a trance back then… and this is what Toi-kun is usually like?)

Toi: T-There’s gonna be so many people I don’t know… I can’t help but feel nervous… Oh, if only Ani-sama was here with me… 

Momiji: How about you, Nagi-kun?

 

Nagi: I… 

Momiji: Yeah?

Nagi: I don’t think I’m a good match for party people… I might just end up getting swept away in the middle of it… 

Momiji: Party people?

Nagi: Oh… She’s not even aware she’s one of them… I stand in the presence of a true partygoer… 

Momiji: Aw, c’mon, we're just watching a movie together. Don’t worry, it’s not that scary, you’ll be alright.  

Nagi: Wow, you’re just like Naumica when she was comforting the Eihm*. 

Toi: Nagi-san, I’m begging you!

Toi: Would you please come with us…? I think I might just die from loneliness if no one from the Night Team is there… 

Nagi: ….. 

Momiji: Um, you don’t have to force yourself if you don’t want to. It was a sudden invite after all.

Nagi: …It’s okay. I feel reassured if Toi is going too. 

Toi: I’m so glad you understand… I feel a lot better already~

Momiji: (I… can’t really tell if Toi-kun is actually shy or not, but it looks like he could empathize with Nagi-kun.)

Nagi: So let’s go, together. 

Toi: Yay! 

Location: HAMA House - Living Room

Ten: Valley in the Sky sure is a blast to the past~ I was totally attached to the protagonist when I was a kid. 

Nanaki: Watching your loved one float down from the sky… It’s really romantic. 

Kinari: …… 

Kiroku: Azekawa-san… Have you… not watched… Spirited Away… to the Valley… in the Sky… before…? 

Kinari: I have a memory of watching it. Once. At a movie theater. 

Ushio: Huh, at a theater? How long ago was that? 

Yachiyo: Oh, they tend to re-screen movies at the theaters to commemorate its anniversary right~ I’d love to see it on the big screen too~ 

Momiji: Ooh, it’s nice to see everyone all together here! And there’s even pizza! 

Renga: Chief, your seat’s over there. Nagi and Toi, on this side. Feel free to dig in.

Toi: Oh, um… Thank you very much… Nagi-san, sit next to me, over here! 

Nagi: Okay. Thank you too, Renga. 

Renga: Well, like I said before… There’s no need to be so formal with us. 

Nagi: …Yeah. 

Muneuji: Looks like we made it in time. 

Akuta: OH FUDGE!! Don’t start without us~!

Momiji: Welcome back, you two. Right, Akuta-kun, about the cake… 

Akuta: Oh, yeah! I was rushin’ all over the place so I forgot all about it. I gotta apologize to Nagi-san directly… 

Nagi: …I was never upset about the cake. I heard you went out of your way to get me another one, so I feel bad about that… 

Akuta: Huhh? What’re YOU feeling bad for, Nagi-san? I don’t get it but, you’re a funny guy! 

Akuta: I mean it f’real though, sorry ‘bout eating your slice.

Akuta: I couldn’t stop myself even after I figured it was yours… My self-control was NOT at the wheel. 

Nagi: It’s all good. I think that was very human of you, don’t worry. 

Momiji: Isn’t that great, Akuta-kun?

Akuta: Yeah! Thanks a bunch Nagi-san! 

Toi: Um… Are Kafka-san and the others not joining us? 

Sakujiro: He said that he would return when the words of destruction are chanted: “Power That Ruins,” in short, POTHARU*.

Momiji: So, at the very last minute huh… 

Akuta: Yo, it’s starting!! Also this pizza’s crazy good! 

Ten: I was a fan of “When My Neighbor Dorodoro Was There” too~ Couldn’t help but empathize with Ganta as a kid, y’know?

Tao: Woah, knew I’d smelled something delicious. Turns out you guys are having a Studio Ghizli party, huh? Mind if I join?

Yachiyo: Of course~ I’m ordering a second round of pizza right now~

Momiji: (Looks like everyone’s having fun… Despite coming from all walks of life, we’re all like one big family here.)

Nagi: ……

Toi: …… 

Momiji: (Those two look like they still need some time to break the ice… But I’m sure it’ll be okay.)

Momiji: (I hope they can all get along with each other soon…)

Nagi: …… 

Toi: Uh-Uhm…. I’ll take a quick bathroom break… 

Location: HAMA House - 3rd floor balcony

Toi: Phew~ That was nerve-wracking… 

Toi: (I’d like to get along with them but… I just can’t seem to find the courage without Ani-sama by my side…)

Toi: Still… I have to try my best. 

Netaro: Mm.

Toi: Oh, Netaro-san… You look tired.

Netaro: I was holed up in our room cooking up the invention of the century, the “Five Senses times One Billion Sticker” all day, and before I knew it, it was already this late… 

Netaro: Which reminds me, I found this strange note attached to the door. 

Toi: Ah, I’m sure that’s a memo left by Akuta-kun. It must be from when he was going around and inviting people to the film viewing. 

Netaro: Hmm~ If that is the case, why are you loitering about up here, mumbling all on your lonesome?

Toi: That’s, um… It’s fun being with everyone, but I'm still nervous around them… 

Netaro: Nerves, I see~

Toi: I hope I can feel more relaxed by the time we get to POTHARU… 

Netaro: POTHARU?

Toi: Huh? You don’t know POTHARU?

Netaro: Never heard of it. Nor read of it. Is it some ancient French term? Or perhaps, it’s a distant relative of paratha*?

Toi: Don’t tell me, you’ve never watched any Studio Ghizli films?

Netaro: Non.

Toi: No way! I didn’t think there was anyone in JPN who hasn’t watched them yet!

Netaro: Wow, is that so! Perhaps I am something of a rarity? Huzzah!

Toi: Wha… Is that something to be happy about?

Netaro: Once you watch it, you can never go back! Therefore I have the advantage when it comes to non-reversibility! 

Toi: Pft-ahaha! You have a point! But Ani-sama and I are both big fans of Studio Ghizli’s works, so I really recommend watching it! 

Toi: Ah, but we’re already halfway through the film now… 

Toi: Um! If you’d like, I can explain the first half of the plot for you! We just have to sit together. 

Netaro: Hm~ Movies and dramas are an excellent look into the human thought process, so I enjoy them very much~

Netaro: Yes, I shall join you.

Toi: Then let’s head down to the living room together! 

Location: HAMA House - Living Room

Yodaka: …I hurried back because I was told to make it in time for POTHARU, but… 

Akuta: Now!! Time to POTHARU–!!

Muneuji: Isotake, I think you’re being too loud. 

Renga: Can’t help but get excited at this scene huh? I get it. I remember when I first watched it too, at an outdoor screening… 

Kiroku: The pizza… is tasty… 

Momiji: Eating pizza when watching a movie just hits different huh?

Yodaka: …It feels like a party in full swing. It’s always wonderful to witness such harmonious revelry. However… 

Nagi: …… 

Yodaka: (At the heart of the living room stands Nagi, lost and alone…)

Yodaka: (It’s as though I’m looking at a Milet* painting… Nagi’s shadow is so faint that he blends in with his surroundings without anyone noticing…)

Akuta: Aw, man! Not a commercial right when it was getting good!

Nanaki: Even though I know how it ends, I still get all anxious.

Akuta: Hey guys, let’s all hold hands when it’s time to POTHARU! It’ll be so hype!!

Ushio: Hell no.

Ten: I’m cool with it~

Nagi: …… 

*Nagi leaves*

Yodaka: …… 

Yodaka: Fufu… I suppose it can’t be helped. That part of you is lovable as well. 

Yodaka: (Regardless, I can’t help but be concerned. You will have to forgive my meddling, Nagi.)

Momiji: I wonder if I could get away with eating some potato chips this late at night…

Yodaka: Chief, could I speak with you? 

Notes:

Studio Ghizli is a parody of Studio Ghibli, and “Spirited Away to the Valley in the Sky” is a mash-up of 3 movies - Spirited Away, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, and Laputa: Castle in the Sky. Meanwhile “When My Neighbor Dorodoro Was There” is a mash-up of My Neighbor Totoro and When Marnie Was There. 

Similarly, Netaro asks if PANYOSU is a relative of Nachos, which I localized to paratha (an indian flatbread) to match POTHARU.

The title originally spells “PANYOSU” which is a play on the spell BARUSU used in Laputa Castle in the sky. It’s a spell that causes the self-destruction of the castle at the climax of the movie.

Sakujiro explains that it is the shortened form of "Power, Scepter, Throttle" (PA-wa, NYO-i, SU-rottoru) which I decided to localize to “Power That Ruins” (POTHARU), which I found out later can mean “you will leave/die” in Telugu.

Nagi compares the player to Nausicaa, the heroine from Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, when she was comforting the baby Ohm that is hurt and scared near the end of the movie.

The painter Yodaka thinks of, Milet, is most likely a play on Claude Monet, an impressionist artist. Yodaka compares Nagi to Monet’s paintings, to speak of how there’s only a faint ‘impression’ of Nagi and that it doesn’t feel reflective of reality. 

[thedroneranger]

Just Can't Take It

Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Précis: Part 2 of I Can Make It. Night 1 was a family friendly affair, but Night 2, alone in a cabin...

Note: This is a follow-up shot for a fic written for @notroosterbradshaw’s #hello december playlist challenge. Song is One More Sleep by Leona Lewis—fic title pulled from lyrics. Can be read as a standalone or as a companion to I Can Make It.

Special shout out to @cherrycola27 for encouraging me to follow up the sweet I Can Make It with some spice. 😉

Warnings: 18+ only, smut.

Word count: 2.5k

Jake did his best to keep you in bed Christmas morning, but you lured him downstairs for breakfast with your family with the promise of breakfast (you) in bed every morning at the cabin. 

You arrived during the late morning, and then spent the afternoon shoveling so you could reach the front door. You and Jake were the first visitors of the season and this had been the biggest snowfall thus far. 

Once inside, Jake focused on building a fire while you stocked supplies. Then you made lunch while Jake prepared warm drinks spiked with top-shelf whiskey your father gifted him. 

The fire was doing its best to warm the cabin, but a chill still hung in the air. You huddled together on the overstuffed sofa with a pile of blankets and sipped hot toddies. Still unable to shake the chill, you shedded your clothing so your shared body heat had a better chance to warm you.

Drinks abandoned on the nearest end table, you and Jake lay on the couch. You tucked between his legs with your back against his chest and a faded quilt wrapped around you both. Underneath, Jake’s knuckles lazily skimmed along your thighs and hips. Your temple rested against his cheek, and every so often he would turn to press a kiss to it.

His steady breathing was almost enough to lull you to sleep. However, you kept fighting, not wanting to miss a moment with him. Finally, you succumbed to the combination of fire warmth, Jake’s body heat and his loving caresses.

Hours later, you woke up alone on the couch still swathed in the faded quilt you had shared with Jake earlier. It was dark outside, but the fire bathed the cabin in a warm glow. Sitting up and wiping the sleep from your eyes, you could see Jake’s silhouette highlighted by the flames of the fire as he stoked it. 

Soaking in all his angles and edges, you watched him in silence. Finally, he turned and noticed you were awake. “Hey, sleeping beauty.” He paired the greeting with his radiant smile. Sans shirt, he had pulled on sweatpants that hung low on his waist, highlighting his Adonis belt.

The fire had finally chased the chill from the cabin and the heat made the air thick. Pushing yourself up from the couch, you let the quilt pool around you on the floor. Wearing just your bra and panties, you headed for your suitcase and pulled out your favorite oversized chunky knit sweater. 

Pulling it over your head, you padded toward the kitchen where Jake was refreshing your drinks. You wrapped an arm around his waist and ducked under his arm. He made room for you as he garnished the mugs with lemon slices. His free hand crept under the hem of your sweater, resting on your hip.

You pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw, snagged a mug off the counter and slipped out of his grasp. Looking over your shoulder, you found Jake trailing you to the couch. Sipping your toddy, you sank into the sofa. He mirrored your actions.

Your drink was almost gone, when you reached across Jake to rest it on the table beside the couch. Then, you climbed into his lap, facing him and placing his cup beside yours. His hands came to rest on the tops of your thighs, while your fingers laced behind his neck. One of your thumbs traced his jaw, which you felt clench under your touch. “I still can’t believe you’re here.” Your eyes searched his face. 

The corners of his mouth pulled into a closed-lip smile and he let his hands rest on your backside. “I’m here, and I’m all yours,” he replied. A small gasp fell from your lips when he palmed your ass to pull you closer. Then, one hand shifted to the small of your back, while the other crept up under your sweater to expertly unfasten your bra, and then hugged your ribcage to pull you as close as possible.

You unraveled yourself from him, pulling your arms into your sweater to shed your bra. Poking your arms back through your sleeves, you dropped the undergarment to the floor. You shifted to the side of his lap and hooked your arm over his shoulder, letting your elbow rest against his back. Your other hand found a home on his neck—your nails skimming across the delicate skin, and then your palm coming to rest on the side, so your thumb could graze the column of his throat. Jake hummed so you felt the vibrations.

The flat of your tongue stamped his bottom lip, and then you pulled back. Jake chased you, looking for a full kiss. Finally, you gave in, pressing your lips to his while applying light pressure to his neck. He groaned and parted his lips to allow your tongue into his mouth. “You’re such a tease,” Jake stated as you pulled away again. 

He patted your butt and, begrudgingly, you slipped off his lap onto the couch. He stood and began to gather the blankets and pillows you’d been using. Curiously, you watched as he threw them all on the floor in front of the fireplace. Once you realized what he was doing, you walked over to help. 

Before you knew what was happening, he wrapped his arm around your thigh and hauled you down. You tumbled gently into the nest of bedding with his hand cradling your head. You stared at him as he knelt on all fours over you.

Your gaze dropped—his sweatpants did nothing to hide his hard-on. You moved so your knee grazed him. He grunted, which caused you to smile and do it again. “Honey…” his southern drawl was thick. 

Leaning up, you peppered kisses on his chest. Your teeth sank into the fleshy top of his peck. Then, you moved further south to capture one of his nipples. Lazily, your tongue swirled around it, and then you gently tugged with your teeth.

Jake growled and tangled a hand in your hair, pulling your head back so he could return the favor on your neck. You moaned as he pressed hot wet kisses to it. He only untangled his hand from your hair to get you out of your sweater. You giggled and helped him to ensure your garment kept its shape. 

Being with you for the first time in almost a year had Jake taking his time. His gaze raked over every inch of your body and his hands explored all your curves. You leaned into his touches and gave soft whimpers. Jake trailed kisses along your chest and stomach. His thumbs hooked in the sides of your panties and pulled them down as he continued his kiss parade along your legs. Once your panties were off, he quickly ridded himself of his sweats and boxer briefs. 

Jake dropped to his elbows and captured your lips with his. Your arms snaked around his shoulders, your nails sinking into his flesh. In response, his teeth sank into your lower lip and his hips dropped so his weight pinned you to the floor. You rested your heels on the small of his back, enjoying his heaviness.

His mouth moved to your neck, and you felt his teeth sink into your flesh. Your nails dug deeper into his shoulders and he groaned. You arched into him and combed a hand through his hair, letting your nails massage his scalp. He pulled back so you could look at each other. Your hand slid down the back of his head and rested on his neck—you let your nails sink in a little.

Jake lifted himself off you, which made you groan in disappointment. He snagged a couple pillows and tapped your hips, which you rose for him to situate them underneath. Then, he lowered himself between your legs, keeping eye contact with you as he kissed the insides of your thighs. You groaned again, this time slightly frustrated his mouth was everywhere except where you were dripping. 

You knew what he wanted, so you gave him a nod of permission. Putting his mouth to your cleft, he let saliva drip down your clit, and then he blew on it to heighten the sensation. You fisted the blankets and tried to keep from bucking your hips. He smirked at your reaction and went back to kissing your thighs. 

Looking for revenge, you closed your legs around his head. He smiled and ran his hands from the hinge of your hips to your kneecaps. Gently, he splayed your legs open. “My favorite earmuffs.” You gasped when you felt his teeth nip your thigh. Enjoying your response, he did it again and again. You would definitely be purple tomorrow.

Finally, his mouth was on your soaking core, and the sounds that left your mouth egged him to keep going. To put you over the edge, he laved his tongue back and forth from your clit to your entrance. Then his tongue delved into you before repeating the same motions in the opposite direction. Jake kept his mouth on your bundle of swollen nerves, sucking as your orgasm crashed through you. You sat up slightly and used his hair as reins while you rode your pleasure wave. 

Once it was over, you laid back and he climbed up to press his lips to yours so you could taste yourself. While you made out, you licking your arousal off his face, you could feel how hard he was each time his length bumped you. 

Distracted by your tongue, Jake barely noticed he was now underneath you. You scooted so his cock was between his stomach and your slick folds. His hands lazily rested on your thighs as you rocked back and forth along his length. He closed his eyes and sighed. A small smile graced your lips as you watched him. After a few minutes, you used a hand to seamlessly guide him into you. 

Thanks to the fire warmth, a sheen of sweat covered you both and made it easier for your bodies to glide against one another. You ground your hips into him as you leaned forward and steadied yourself with your hands on his chest. He watched you through hooded eyes, occasionally peering down to where your bodies connected. “Like fucking velvet,” he gushed. One hand on your hip, the other laid against your soft stomach. You watched him as his thumb swirled circles around your belly button. 

“What are you thinking?” You had an idea but wanted to hear it from him.

Jake moved his head so he was looking directly at you. “Let’s make a mini-you,” he suggested.

You smiled at the way he phrased it. “What if I want a mini-you?” You kept eye contact but slowed your movements. 

He shrugged. “We can make two.”

“Would a mini increase the odds that you always come home?” you asked cheekily. 

His signature smile appeared as the hand on your stomach sank lower so his thumb could swirl circles on your clit. You shuddered and leaned into his hand, closing your eyes and enjoying yourself. 

“You’re reason enough, honey.” He swapped the pad of his thumb for the knuckle, and you whimpered at the sensation change. “But, a mini would be a cherry on top,” he replied with some twang. He knew his accent drove you wild—you nearly came just from his voice.

You were ready to fall apart on his cock, but held yourself together. Your forearms met his chest as you leaned so you were face-to-face. Jake’s hands toured the curve of your back, and then one came to rest on your ass while the other settled at the nape of your neck. 

“Well…” Jake’s eyes widened and his grip on your neck involuntarily tightened. “I had my IUD removed right after you left.” Relief washed over Jake’s face. “I wanted to be ready because I was hoping we would get started on making minis when you got back.”

Jake managed to flip you over so you were back underneath him, nestled into the blanket pile. You swiped a couple loose hairs off his forehead and brought your hand to rest on the back of his neck. “Next time you come home, let’s make it to me and our child.” You leaned up and kissed his forehead. 

He responded by capturing your lips as you pulled back. You draped your arms around his neck and wrapped your legs around his waist as he began to roll his hips into you. Then, you pressed your lips to your favorite spot below his ear. He growled, which made you clench around him. His head dropped, and his teeth sank into the soft spot between your neck and shoulder. You snarled and dragged your nails down his back.

You lovingly battered and bruised each other. You might have to stay a couple extra days at the cabin so your bruises and bites could heal. Jake’s ego wouldn’t allow him to finish before making you come at least one more time. Jake was one of few men in your lifetime that made you come with simultaneous penetration and clitoral stimulation. His no-fail method was angling his hips back to hit your g-spot with each thrust and laving attention on your swollen clit with a free hand—his calloused fingers felt electric.

Jake took advantage of you shuddering around him and found a rhythm for his own release. You dug your heels into the dimples of Jake’s ass as he came. He laid his body weight on you, tucking his face in the crook of your neck as he finished. Basking in the warmth of the fire, he soaked while you trailed your fingers around his scalp. 

A smile pulled your lips as Jake pressed kisses behind your jaw. You grumbled as he pushed himself off you—you hated the emptiness. “C’mon.” He held your hands to pull you to your feet. Together, you shuffled to the bathroom to clean up.

Jake hand bathed you with a warm washcloth. He thoroughly inspected his handiwork, including fingering his cum back into you when the first drop dribbled down your thigh. Once you were both clean, he carried you bridalstyle to the bed. He tossed your sweater at you while he put on sweatpants. Then he positioned a pillow about where your hips would lay on the bed. 

You settled into the bed, and Jake snuggled you into his side so you were under his arm. Turning into him as much as he allowed—he was adamant your hips stay up on the pillow—you kissed his bare chest, and then rested your cheek on it. He kissed the top of your head, and his fingers ghosted the nape of your neck.

“Round 2 of mini making tomorrow?” he asked. 

You smiled. “Right after breakfast in bed.” You playfully sank your teeth into his chest. 

His laughter was soothing. “I might have to have a midnight snack if you don’t knock it off.”

“I’ll be a good girl,” you replied. He laughed again while he stroked your hair. Eventually, Jake’s fingers stopped moving and his breathing told you he was asleep. Still worried everything was a dream, you fought to stay awake.

When you finally nodded off, you were already dreaming of Jake between your legs—he loved breakfast first thing in the morning.

[alltimefail-sims]

You've all seen the Goth kit styled beautifully by other creators... but what if I showed you it straight up?

No cc, no pairing with items from other packs... this is what we're left with. Alternative heading: Idk how some of ya'll have made this kit look so good, but let's talk about it.

My thoughts... ↓

Right off the bat: I don't like most of the swatches on these items and I don't think I would constitute most of the swatches as "Goth." For example - what is that weird blueish-purple swirly tablecloth looking swatch on every item? More than that though, I think the biggest issue with this kit is that the items themselves don't pair well with each other.

We'll start out with the makeup: we only got 3 makeup items with this kit and I don't feel strongly about any of them personally. I will say that the runny makeup swatch is kind of cool and unique but idk how often I'll personally find a use for it. (Sidenote: because all the makeup is slider compatible I do think he lack of swatches is okay. Also, storytellers might find the runny makeup item useful if they slide the opacity down because then it would look like more natural, runny makeup after crying. Just a thought!) It is peculiar to me that 2/3 makeup items are locked for fem frame only and I'm wondering if this was just an oversight. Regardless, I'm noting that as a negative - if you want to use the lipstick or eyeshadow on a masc frame sim you need to uncheck masc frame in the makeup category of CAS for it to show up.

I HATE the egg-head hoodie, especially because 1. it could have been such a cool item that I would have used a lot if it didn't give sims a dramatic gnome pointy head and 2. it's unusable on fem frame sims due to the bug eye issue which everyone has already pointed out but I'm going to point out as well because... wtf?! I am also not a huge fan of the earrings and necklace that came with the kit due to the fact that they're just really clunky-chunky and the necklace felt like a late addon to me as most of the outfits had a high neck, so pairing the choker with the majority of outfits from this pack didn't actually look good. I was shocked there were no tattoos, no hats, not a single hairstyle (my biggest complaint about this kit and CAS kits in general as we always need more hairstyles), no facial piercings, not even a nail polish. And, as always, masc frame sims were short-changed in comparison to fem frame sims.

One positive note is that I think a few of these items could pair well with items from other packs and, of course, some amazing cc that's out there as you've probably already seen some creators do. (But, again, that's not what I'm personally reviewing so really that's neither here nor there, but I wanted to note it nonetheless.)

Here's a list of the items I personally liked:

The trench coat full-body outfit in both frames (sans some swatches).

The Tripp style shorts - I think I will use these a lot (and I think the recolors will be great).

The very first outfit I showed above in the fem frame (mesh shirt and shorts) is workable.

The plain leather jacket top in both frames (versatile, simple, lays on all bodies well and recolors will be nice).

The t-shirt with a mesh shirt or fishnet shirt underneath.

I suppose I also like the bracelet and gloves that came with this pack, but that's just because they were simple and inoffensive lol. Idk how the sims team could have possibly screwed up those items. I'll use them at some point though I'm sure, so that's a very weak win I will give them.

All of that to say...I don't like this kit nearly as much as the Grunge kit. Most of the items are middle of the road at best and poorly executed at worst. I didn't have unreasonably high expectations for this kit, but I still think it could have been done better and I think it's okay to want better as a community (especially because not everyone can use cc, so this might be the only goth stuff they have to work with). If EA can't execute something well, they just should do it. This is why I don't agree with the "did you all expect EA to give us a well-done Goth kit?" crowd because yes, actually, I did! We should expect them to at least do the bare-minimum and do their research so they can deliver on a concept that they proposed to us in the first place and will be making money off of... but I digress!

I still stand by the fact that nearly everything looks super chunky and dated - if someone told me all of this came out with the base game or an older pack like Realm of Magic, I would believe them.

Here's a closeup of the makeup:

I'll say it again: the hoodie thing is bananas to me. Idk how they didn't catch that before releasing the damn kit but that's a careless mistake that would be funny if it wasn't so expected.

That's the Goth Galore kit in its entirety! These were just my opinions, so keep that in mind. You can love this kit and disagree with me and that's okay! But for those of you wondering what it looks like in game with no cc/reshade/or any embellishments before you buy it, I hope this little overview was helpful!

[dufferpuffer]

your thoughts on tiktok-fanon alpha male lupin? because i find it SO out of character

My engagement with tiktok is exclusively the 10min meme compilations on youtube I watch with my partner before bed. But if its the same as the depictions on here of a teenage Remus who is tall, muscular, dark and sorta grumpy/cocky looking... with a skinny, pale, manic pixie Sirius covered in cutsey muggle tattoos...

...I don't recognize these people. Whatever fanfic or AU it is from... I just assume its a really specific re-imagining...? To the point where I question how much can even be called 'Remus' or 'Sirius' anymore. And that's being flattering. I don't understand it so I don't engage with it, apart from reblogging the occasional pretty fanart.

They are both OOC - and not in interesting ways. I love headcanons. Exploring a character so hard that they don't look the same anymore, because they take on different forms, for different situations... I'll never fault people for having fun like that. You know how there's like... 10,000 different Sans Undertales? They typically still feel like Sans. I like the one where Sans and Papyrus swap personalities, and the one where the monsters are 'more evil' - and more red.

That doesn't mean it can't be done in a way that's boring and lame, that is less exploration of a character and more a destruction. Personally - this version of Sirius and Remus is boring and lame.

I don't understand why they have scattered muggle tattoos. There are 100 ways you could imagine the Wizarding World having cool tattoos... or at LEAST better designed muggle tattoos? Movie Sirius has these chunky amateur looking runes on his body, like he drew them himself with his finger... but fanon Sirius, and sometimes Remus, look like a kids gone crazy with a ballpoint pen - and not in a way that adds childish teenage character. In a way that looks like they've been scrolling pintrest. It sucks the individuality and character OUT of them. Makes them look like a sample book. You could give Sirius a really cool looking sleeve that incorporates his interests and personality in a tight, unique pattern... or you could draw a bunch of disjointed icons and words.

I don't understand why they often have cigarettes. Why cigarettes? Snuff, chew, hookah, cigars, pipes... ANYTHING you could imagine with a wand or magical tool - but they use cigarettes specifically...? Like... I don't HATE it... There is character, story and interest you could add via habits. But it's not used like that. It's used as short-hand for 'sexy rebels'.

Why is Remus so stern? Why is Sirius a manic pixie dream girl? How do these boys grow up into the men we can recognize...? Or... is the world so different that every narrative thread is snapped? In which case: Why are they Remus and Sirius? Whats the point?

It's like the passably-drawn porn that is just a stock position with two characters put in it - but doesn't resemble their personalities or mannerisms at all. Yknow what im talking about ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) It's hard to have an opinion about that other than 'thats not them.' You wanna see Whitebeard fucking Nico Robin? And Nico Robin has an expression she'd never pull? And Whitebeard is like 6ft tall - instead of 22ft tall? But they're doing reserve cowgirl, if you're into that. ...They're just filling the roles of 'masculine dom' and 'feminine sub'. If that's what people wanna do... ok. They can have fun. I just wish it was tagged it as whatever AU or fanfic its based on rather than just the character names.

[ot7heaven]

Never Let You Go

Pairing: idol!hobi x manager!reader

Genre: fluff, angst

Words: 4362

Warnings: none

Chapter 2: San Man

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Series Masterlist

OT7Heaven Masterlist

Just as Hunny starts tucking into her salad, Jihyeon glides into the break room. Effortlessly rocking the heels she loves to wear, Jihyeon looks the part. It’s not hard to believe she’s a nail technician judging by the way she’s always so put together. Hunny has only known Jihyeon for a month but she already admires her so much. Her infectious laughter, calming and kind personality, professionalism and kdrama actress good looks have made Jihyeon a favourite with staff and spa clients. Hunny is so glad to have found a spa with such nice employees.

“Is everything going okay out there?” Hunny asks, popping a cherry tomato into her mouth.

“The girls out there look rushed off their feet!”

“Let’s stay in here and hide for a while then,” Hunny laughs. “What scrumptious food have you brought in today?” The spa manager asks.

Setting her lunch on the table, Jihyeon replies “Kimchi Jjigae and also homemade brownies for afterwards.”

“My mouth is watering just thinking about those brownies!” Hunny exclaims. Last week it was Namseok’s birthday. Jihyeon brought in homemade matcha croissants for the waxer’s birthday. Needless to say, there were none left for him to take home after everyone enjoyed them on the morning break.

“Actually Lucas made these.” Jihyeon explains. Her boyfriend is a pastry chef in the kitchen of one of the fanciest hotels in Seoul - no, in all of Korea. Having a hot French pastry chef boyfriend at home is a blessing Jihyeon could never take for granted.

“So I'm guessing they’re out-of-this-world amazing, then?” Hunny asks as if the answer isn’t at all obvious in any way.

Laughing as she nods her head, Jihyeon slides the container across the table towards Hunny. Hunny is on a diet - again - but how can she resist? Surely one little brownie is okay… With its chunky chocolate chips and an ‘eat me’ deeply chocolatey scent… She barters with herself and decides to go jogging 6 times this week instead of the usual 5. She inspects the brownies until she finds one with the most chocolate chips. She makes that brownie her victim.

Noticing Hunny’s tactics, Jihyeon smiles “I think they all have lots of chocolate chips in them. Lucas knows we would have to break up if he deprived me of chocolate.”

Hunny puts the chosen brownie in her bag so she can enjoy it later at home. “Seriously, chocolate owns me. Chocolate has made me its little slave.” She disposes of the salad container and sips on her coffee. “I wonder if it settles down when we're back out there.” Hunny says hopefully as her eyes drift towards the door.

“Ugh, I hope so,” Jihyeon says, putting a cube of tofu in her mouth. “It seems that every guest in the hotel decided that today is the day for manicures and massages.”

The first verse of 'Dynamite' by Bangtan starts playing on the radio. Hunny smiles to herself as she reminisces about her chance encounter with Hobi yesterday. She’s spent so long being bombarded with Bangtan on the radio, television and even on Tumblr. One of her mutuals often posts edits and one shots regarding idols. Scrolling through Tumblr, she has seen one shots of Hobi. Hunny always scrolls by quickly when she sees Hobi’s name as it’s just too weird. Yes, Hobi is hot. Yes, he’s an idol. And yes, Tumblr is rife with Hobi thirst traps and edits. But being his childhood friend, Hunny thinks it crosses a line. One that she couldn't possibly allow herself to cross.

Gesturing upstairs towards the hotel rooms, “If you were doing in-room treatments you'd have no radio. So maybe being down here in the chaos is actually better than the tranquillity of doing treatments in the peace and quiet of a fancy suite.” Hunny offers, taking another sip of her coffee.

Giving it less than five seconds of thought, Jihyeon shakes her head with a slight smirk. “No, I have to say I actually prefer to be down here in the spa. Upstairs, I don’t have you or Namseok or anyone else to talk to. I feel a bit intimidated by the guests in the rooms.” She honestly admits.

“You do?” Hunny would never have guessed that Jihyeon's Achilles heel would be her confidence.

“Well, the guests that come down to the spa are relatable. I easily find common ground and I can just be myself. The guests in the suites? The fancy expensive suites? They expect more and I don’t always know how to connect with them.” She trails off shyly.

Hunny feels touched that Jihyeon felt she could be this open with her. “You just have to be yourself with all of your clients. I mean, you’re working in an award winning hotel for a reason! If you run out of topics to talk about you could always tell them about Lucas’ tasty croissants.” Hunny offers this advice sincerely because she knows how scary it can be to talk to rich clients who expect the world.

With a raised eyebrow, Jihyeon quips “Lucas’ tasty croissant? That’s for me and me alone.”

“You can behave yourself right now!” Hunny laughs. “You know what I meant.” She says as she disposes of her coffee cup. Heading towards the door to continue her shift, Hunny offers Jihyeon one last piece of advice. “If you ever need some advice or just a chat, my office door is always open.” 

After her shift, Hunny decides to get her eyebrows waxed. Namseok made a joke about them looking a little too wild. She thought that they looked fine - oops. She didn’t want to ask him to stay at work late so she tracked down a salon that she’s heard good things about. Pulling her car into a parking space, she turns the radio down so she can call her sister. Jinseong went to university in Denmark and fell in love. She stayed in Denmark after graduation to be with her Danish boyfriend. Not long after graduation, they got married and started a family. Hunny sometimes wishes she studied abroad. She thinks of the life she could be living right now if she left Korea. She could be fluent in English instead of her skills being just about conversational. She could improve her Japanese speaking skills. Hunny wishes that her speaking skills were as good as her listening skills because she feels overwhelmed and lost most of the time when she speaks Japanese. Hunny could have gone on so many adventures and seen so much of the world. She’s not yet left Asia apart from trips to see Jinseong and her new family. Jinseong may only be two years older than Hunny but she still feels so far behind her cool older sister. Hunny’s attempts at playing catch up have amounted to nothing. This only makes her break up with Sonhee more devastating.

After a few rings, Jinseong answers. “Hunny Hunny!”

Just hearing her sister’s voice fills Hunny’s heart with love. She beams, “Eonnie, I've missed your voice. How’s your day?”

“It’s only 10:30 in the morning so the day hasn’t even started yet,” Jinseong jokes. “Well, that’s if you don’t count Karen’s morning tantrum which seems to be a daily occurrence now.”

“Oh no. What happened? Is my little angel okay?” Hunny is her niece’s fiercest protector.

Jinseong scoffs, “Little angel? Little angels don’t cry because they want to come to work with mommy. Lars has taken her to see his parents so they'll be out of town until the evening, I guess.”

“So you can come home from work and relax in the bathtub with a very large glass of wine?” Given the time, Hunny assumes that Jinseong is on her morning coffee break and would love something a little stronger than coffee.

”Ooh, that does sound like a good idea! How are you doing? It’s been so long since we last spoke.”

Realising that they haven’t spoken since Hunny moved to Seoul, she mentally scolds herself for not keeping in touch during the move. “I’m good. All settled in now. Just missing my Karen.”

“Have you made any friends yet?” Jinseong asks. She really cares about Hunny. Knowing it can be scary moving to a city, she just wants to give Hunny a huge hug and tell her this adventure is going to be amazing.

“I’ve made a few friends at work. My colleague, Jihyeon, gave me a homemade brownie today. I just couldn’t resist. So Sunday will no longer be my rest day. A quick 30 minute jog and that brownie will be forgotten about.”

Jinseong sighs, ”You’re lucky that you don’t live in Copenhagen. The bakeries here are amazing.”

“I’d never see a rest day again in my life!” Hunny laughs.

“So Jihyeon bakes?” Jinseong quizzes.

“Her boyfriend does. He’s a French pastry chef. Jealous doesn't even begin to describe how I feel” Hunny jokes.

“I bet. She’s a lucky girl. And how are you feeling today,” her tone shifts, “with it being the day of what would be your four year anniversary?”

Reality hit Hunny like a brick. She spent so long surrounded by memories of him in Gwangju. Memories that she thought she’d never escape. Four years of being a dream team gone. Just like that. Ouch. She now remembers why she was so desperate to move to Seoul. She hasn’t cried in weeks but feels tears threatening to spill. The man she thought she might marry is no longer in her life and she hasn't thought about it for weeks. That’s either Hunny moving on or Hunny going on autopilot to cope with this big life change. She’s surprised that Jinseong remembered the anniversary and she didn’t.

Shaking her head and blinking fast, “I haven’t thought about Sonhee much recently. I think I’m just trying to get used to being in Seoul that I haven’t really had time for anything or anyone else. I’m sorry that I haven’t called you in a while.” 

“Hey, don’t be sorry. You’ve been busy. I just want you to be okay.” Jinseong reassures her younger sister.

“I think I am going to be okay. It just may take some time for me to really believe it. One of my colleagues - employees - said that my eyebrows were looking a little too wild today. Wow, saying 'employees' is going to take some getting used to.” Hunny laughs, “He was only teasing. Everyone at work has been welcoming and kind, so I think I’ll be okay. They all seem like great friends.”

“Is he a friend or something more?” Jinseong cheekily asks.

“Namseok is not even a friend yet. I don’t know him that well so it’s been weeks of polite small talk.” Hunny says, hoping that she gets the chance to know him as well as everyone else at work knows him. “I’m actually about to get my eyebrows waxed. Would you mind at all if we ended the call here and carried this conversation on later?” Hunny hates ending phone calls with Jinseong. Timezones and busy lives mean they don’t even get weekly check in calls.

“Go! Go get your sexy brows and we can talk later. I’ll call you on my afternoon break. I love you Hunny.”

“I love you Eonnie. Bye.” After cutting the call, Hunny steps out of the car and makes her way to the salon.

After what felt like an unnecessarily long day all Hunny wanted to do was sit on her couch, watch Business Proposal and eat that dreamy homemade brownie. Just as she took her first bite of chocolatey goodness, a flash of pure white came running in from the hallway. The surface of Hunny’s face was just 90% pure smile at the sight of her cat. Sonhee had gotten Hunny a kitten for her 25th birthday. She spent so long saying she wanted a dog. However, her apartment was tiny. It would not have been ideal or realistic to raise a dog in that apartment. Sonhee compromised and brought San into Hunny’s life. San is the best friend she’s ever had. He occasionally reminds her of Sonhee but he’s a nice way to remember the good times they shared. She doesn’t know how she would have coped with moving to a new city if she had to leave San back in Gwangju.

With her eyes rolling back at how good the brownie tastes, Hunny licks her lips. “San Man, why can’t you bake like this?” The white ball of fur nestles next to her on the couch. He purrs with contentment, happy to have his owner back home from work. Before Hunny can even miss the taste of the brownie on her tongue, her phone starts to ring. Leaning over to look at the coffee table, Hunny notices that it is Jinseong. A video call? Now that’s more like it. Hunny misses her eonnie’s face. Propping her phone up against a decorative potpourri bowl on her coffee table, she presses the answer button.

No sooner than the call connected did Karen’s little face take up the whole screen. Hunny’s five year old niece beamed as she saw her long distance auntie for the first time in too long. “Hunny Eonnie! Eomma told me to give you a kiss before I have a nap,” the small shouted into the screen, not realising that her indoor voice would be much appreciated.

“Karen, I love your kisses. Thank you so much my little Bunny.”

Jinseong appeared as she placed Karen on her lap. ”Let’s see those brows then,” she said, trying to hold a hyperactive Karen in place as she attempted to wriggle out of her mother’s grip.

Hunny leaned down so her sister could inspect her brows through the screen, “I think they’re the best I’ve ever had. Don’t you think so?”

After a quick inspection, Jinseong nods in approval. “Lookin’ good, girl! Just don’t tell the waxers at work that you cheated on them,” Jinseong laughs. She looks over to the right as she places Karen back on the floor. “Karen, give Hunny Eonnie one last kiss. Appa’s ready to read you a story now.”

“Can he read me The Little Mermaid?” The sweet child asks with the biggest puppy dog eyes Hunny has ever seen.

Jinseong beams down at her daughter and teases, “Only if Hunny Eonnie agrees.”

Okay. Hunny was wrong. These eyes are the biggest puppy dog eyes she’s ever seen. In a way, Hunny is lucky she doesn’t live in the same country as Karen. She knows she would have to say goodbye to her disposable income and free time. And maybe, her sanity.

“Hunny Eonnie…” those puppy dog eyes get bigger with each syllable. Hunny doesn’t know how Karen does it but she has everyone wrapped around her finger at all times. There must be magic behind those sparkly brown eyes. “Can Appa read me The Little Mermaid?”

“Seeing as you asked so politely, of course he can Bunny. But first, I want another kiss.”

Karen kisses the screen for the briefest of seconds. Not wanting to miss out on any reading time before her nap. And in an instant, she runs out of the room.

“Wasn’t she going to see Lars’ parents today?” Hunny asks suddenly, remembering that Jinseong should be at work and Karen should be at the coast with her appa’s parents.

Jinseong pouts, “She fell over and cut her knee up pretty badly. She wouldn't let Lars’ eomma clean her up unless I left work early and kissed it better.” It’s never easy seeing your child in pain and hurt. Especially when you’re almost one hour away. As much as she loves her marketing job, she would drop everything to be there when Karen needs her. And she has. Multiple times. She really can do it all - career woman and mother. Hunny is always in awe of her.

Hunny’s heart sinks at the thought of her little Bunny being hurt. “Oh, no. When you go into her room make sure to give her extra kisses from me.” There’s no ocean Hunny wouldn’t cross just to make her little niece giggle and smile. Man, she loves Karen’s lopsided grin. She’s currently missing one of her front teeth but that somehow adds to her charm.

Nodding, Jinseong sits up straight. “So, come on. Anything new with you?” Always one for a gossip session, Jinseong brings out Hunny’s talkative side like no other. Jinseong feels like a friend rather than a sister. Hunny’s so grateful for that. If Hunny had a brother instead, the connection just wouldn't be the same.

San stretches out, taking up even more room on the couch. At this point, Hunny will need to buy a bigger couch. Stroking the mini cloud beside her, Hunny thinks back to her meeting with Hobi yesterday. Jinseong still doesn’t know about it. Jinseong got along with all of Hunny’s childhood friends. The kids in the neighbourhood all hung out together. Everyone knew everyone’s business so eventually Jinseong would become friendly with Hunny’s friends, and vice versa. The fact that Hobi lived 4 houses away meant that he would be at Hunny’s house almost every day. The days when he wasn’t, Hunny was at his house. Jinseong hopes that Karen’s childhood will be like that. Living in the centre of a big city should be great but it lacks the small town feel that everyone’s childhood needs.

“Well, yesterday I went to this cafe near my apartment. Jihyeon from work recommended it to me because we live in the same neighbourhood and she knows all the good spots.” Hunny starts.

Jinseong’s eyes light up, “Ooh, how was it?”

“I have to say, it lived up to the hype. Most cafes in Seoul are pretty but the drinks are terrible. Thankfully that was not the case here.” Hunny makes a mental note to go back to the cafe soon. “I was about to leave and guess who called out my name.”

Jinseong wracks her brain. Who do they both know living in Seoul? Unless it was someone from their hometown who was visiting Seoul. But who? “I really have no clue,” her eyes dart to the side as if she’ll find answers there. “I can only think of Eomma and Appa… have they moved to Seoul to secretly spy on you?”

Hunny laughs in amusement, “No, they’re still on their American cruise. Eomma keeps sending me photos of Baskin Robbins!”

“Aw, she’s so sweet. Someone needs to tell her that there are such things as international chain restaurants.” The elder sister smiles as she remembers being surprised when she first recognised the names of restaurants and stores in Denmark, quickly learning that 711 was not a little Korean secret. “But, who? I couldn't even begin to guess. My mind is empty. Well, it’s empty apart from the ‘Encanto’ soundtrack.” She laughs, never being able to escape ‘We Don’t Talk About Bruno’ thanks to Karen’s latest favourite movie.

“Jung Hoseok - I saw Hobi!” Hunny bursts out unable to contain her excitement.

“No way. He was just in the cafe?” Jinseong found it hard to believe an idol would be in a space so public and potentially busy. Don’t idols hangout at their companies where they can socialise away from prying eyes?

With a nod accompanying a beaming smile, Hunny replies “He was sitting in the corner but, yes. I had to do a double take. It’s been years. Like, so many years but that’s still my Hobi.” Now Hunny was the one whose eyes mimicked an innocent puppy.

“How is he doing?” Jinseong asks with a warm tone.

“Oh Eonnie, he seems so happy. And he hasn’t changed.” She says just as San purrs.

“I think San approves,” Jinseong jokes.

“I should hope so! We exchanged phone numbers and we’re hanging out on Friday.” Hunny feels as though she’s been given the biggest lifeline by finding Hobi. If they can recreate their childhood friendship, Hunny will need no one else. The two best friends were inseparable once and, if life hasn’t burned them too much, hopefully their old roles will fit like a glove.

“You’ll have to say hello from me.” Jinseong says.

“We’ll have no time to talk about you. We have a LOT to catch up on,” The younger sister proclaims in jest. “Min Yoongi was also there…” She sheepishly utters. She can’t even attempt to hide how flush her cheeks have become at the mere mention of her bias and celebrity crush.

“Hunny, tell me everything! Have you set a date for the wedding yet?” Jinseong quips.

“Don’t even joke about that because if I let myself daydream about marrying Yoongi, I’ll start to be severely disappointed when I remember that I live in the real world.” Hunny doesn’t have a list of boxes a man needs to tick to win her heart. Her dream man doesn’t need to look a certain way, have a certain job or have certain hobbies. That being said, Yoongi ticks every hypothetical box imaginable. And extra boxes. If there was a dream man, it’d be Min Yoongi and Min Yoongi only. Yoongi is perfect. Or rather, the public image he projects is perfect.

“Was he everything you’d hope he’d be?” Meeting someone you admire isn’t always advisable. Idols have a certain image that their companies have created for them. Just because an idol is funny and sincere in an interview, that doesn’t mean that they’re not a major jerk when they’re not at work.

Smiling into the phone screen, Hunny may need to pinch herself to ensure she’s reminded that the encounter wasn’t a daydream. “After a while, it felt just like talking to Hobi,” she admits.

“That’s so great. A couple of weeks ago I watched their show that they livestreamed from Seoul. Was it called ‘Permission To Dance?’ Or something like that?” Jinseong searches her mind for the name of the concert.

Instantly, Hunny has the answer. Of course she does. “Yep, ’Permission To Dance’. You’re starting to become an army?”

“Well Karen has gotten into kpop since I played Blackpink in the car. I wish she spoke more Korean so kpop karaoke sessions in the car are becoming our morning routine. I even heard Lars singing ‘Whistle’ whilst cooking dinner last week.” Jinseong chuckles.

Hunny laughs, “Please tell me his bias is Jisoo.” Jisoo is Hunny’s Blackpink bias. It seems as though Jisoo is the least biased member, so Hunny always gets excited whenever she finds out Jisoo is someone’s bias.

“I think she might be.” Jinseong tries to recall listening to Blackpink with Lars, but she can only remember her excitement at having a fellow Blackpink fan in her house.

“Good man Lars,” Hunny approves. “So you were watching the Bangtan concert?”

“Yes. So Karen has decided that Bangtan might be her next fixation. She begged me to watch it so that she could learn their songs,” she explains.

“I knew there was a reason I liked that kid.”

Jinseong laughs, “She kept on saying ‘I like him’ whenever Yoongi appeared on the screen.” It’s highly likely that thousands, if not, millions of girls shared Karen’s exact thought. “I think she wants to marry ‘Life Goes On’ Yoongi when she grows up.”

“Get in line, kid. But seriously, I think it’s so cute that she may become a little blink or army,” the doting auntie remarks. San, clearly not  impressed at the prospect of having another army in his life, jumps off the couch and retreats to his bed next to the floor length window.

Hunny yawns. She wishes she could be discreet about it and yawn like a lady. She wishes she could be like that. Sadly, her tiredness forces her manners to take a backseat. Before she can comprehend what it takes to begin to feel embarrassed about showing Jinseong all of her teeth along with her tonsils, she yawns again. These gigantic yawns are becoming increasingly involuntary.

“Tired?” Jinseong giggles. She realises how late it must be in Korea. Hunny actually completed a full shift today, unlike her elder sister. On top of that, she also worked out before work. Jinseong respects Hunny for working out before work every morning. Why on earth would anyone want to wake up earlier than absolutely necessary? Hunny should just workout after she finishes work. Like normal people. Like Jinseong.

“So tired,” Hunny mumbles along with another yawn. Stretching her arms in an attempt to wake herself up, Hunny stumbles and slides off the couch. Luckily she has a large sheepskin rug placed under the coffee table to break her fall.

Unable to hold a laugh in, Jinseong reluctantly mocks her sister. “Be careful. If you fell through the floor and into your neighbour’s apartment, you know I’d pee myself from laughing so much.”

“Meanie!” Hunny pouts as she finds comfort on her leather couch. Trying to take the high ground would prove useless because Hunny knows all too well that she would laugh so hard if the roles were reversed.

“You should head off to bed. We can talk again soon. Next time Karen can talk your ear off about Yoongi.” Karen loves talking about her new obsessions. Once she gets started, she doesn’t stop. She reminds Jinseong of a young Hunny. Maybe that’s why they get along so well.

“I like the sound of that. Talk soon?”

Jinseong nods, “Soon.”

“I love you Eonnie.”

“I love you Hunny. Sleep well.” Hunny’s phone screen returns to her wallpaper of San sleeping on Hunny’s periwinkle blue pillows.

Hunny finally takes herself off to bed once she finishes brushing her teeth and completing her skincare routine. Getting her nightly routine down to just five steps is an accomplishment Hunny is proud of. Her skin certainly thanks her for it. But right now she’s that tired that it feels like a twenty step routine. Her bed has never felt as cosy as it does tonight. Her pillows are soft and plump. Her mattress is just the right level of firm. She welcomes sleep as soon as her head hits the pillow.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

A book Is An Adventure

Words: 1651

For: @shinobimagpie

A chime echoed through the tiny bookstore, alerting Gai to the arrival of a new customer. An unfortunate occurance given his current situation.

“Hello!” He called out while shoving boxes of books under the counter so that the customer couldn’t see them. His boss was very particular about keeping new books out of sight until they were to be put out on display and Gai wasn’t going to break that rule just because he’d wanted to take a peek at the new arrivals.

It wasn’t like he needed to check to see if any of them would be good for his favorite Wednesday night customer.

“Hello,” a familiar voice called back to him, causing Gai to whip around so that he was facing the door that the customer had just walked through. “Busy morning?”

“A- not really,” he answered. “It- it’s not Wednesday.”

A chuckle greeted his words. “It’s not.” Kakashi agreed as his eyes crinkled at the edges. Not that Gai would notice.

He certainly wasn’t staring at those beautiful black eyes that Gai happily got lost in every Wednesday evening.

“Weird,” another voice spoke, drawing Gai’s gaze down to the kid standing just behind Kakashi. Taking a guess at the kids age, Gai would say that he was around 5 years old. “Are you allowed to smile, big brother?”

Kakashi’s eyes rolled upwards towards the ceiling. “Once in a while,” he answered before reaching back and gently pushing the kid forward. “Now come on. Kushina-san said that she’d be back in an hour. We need to pick a book.”

Crossing his arms over his chest the kid huffed. “I don’t want a book. Books are boring!”

“Naruto…”

“Boring!?” Gai threw a hand over his heart as if he’d been personally wounded by the kids words. “Books are anything but boring!”

“No, they’re boring,” The kid, Naruto, insisted. “Everything big brother Kakashi reads is boring. They’re full of kissing and things my parents do.”

“Well,” glancing down at the books that he’d shoved under the counter just a moment again, Gai smiled. “Maybe romance novel’s aren't for you. Kakashi does have a particular preference in books. One that’s not for everyone.”

“May I remind you that I'm not reading a romance novel right now?” Digging into his messenger bag, Kakashi brought out the book he’d bought in his last visit as proof. A chunky four hundred page book on old mythologies that Gai had offered to him when he’d surprised him by asking for a non-romance book. “And I am enjoying it.”

Naruto stuck out his tongue. “The story you read from that was sad. Who read’s about that kind of stuff.”

“It was… ok, yes,” Kakashi’s shoulder’s slumped. “It was sad, but I liked it.”

Warmth bloomed in Gai’s chest when he heard those words. He hadn’t been sure about suggesting that book to Kakashi at first, but it seemed he’d made the right choice.

He only hoped it didn’t do anything to worsen Kakashi’s view of himself. There was no one Gai had met in his life who was as hard on themselves as Kakashi was. Hearing even a single kind word when Kakashi spoke of himself was a rarity.

Something Gai would love to fix, if only he could. He just hadn’t figured out a way to make Kakashi see how amazing he was.

How loved he was.

Shaking that thought away, Gai returned his attention to the task at hand. “No romance and nothing sad,” he thought through all of the options in the kid section. “And something Kakashi can read? Or your mom?”

“Big brother Kakashi!” Naruto threw his hands up into the air as a grin split across his face. “He’s the best at reading stories.”

“I can only imagine,” sparing a glance towards Kakashi, Gai watched as he ducked his head, covering his face from view, but not before Gai saw the smallest hint of a blush creeping up over his mask. “So, something without romance,” he repeated. “And nothing sad. I think I might have the perfect book.”

Stepping out from behind the counter he headed straight for the small kids section in the far left corner of the store. There were actually five books he had in mind, but if he told Naruto that it would seem like a giant task.

In his experience babysitting Lee, five year olds didn’t like giant tasks. They liked things that were quick and easy to do. So, he’d focus on one book at a time until they found the right one.

“Now,” he stopped in front of the booksehfl and peered down at the top shelf. “Where is it. I’m sure it was here. Oh!” His eyes landed on the first book on his list and he wasted no time pulling it free from the shelf. “Here we go. This one is about a king who has to protect his land from a dragon.”

“Bleh,” Naruto stuck his tongue out again. “King’s are boring.”

“No kings,” setting the book at the top of the shelf, he began searching for the next. “In that case, how about this one?” He grabbed a purple covered book and showed it to Naruto. On the front was a knoght holding a sword with a princess standing behind him. “A knight who saves the princess from danger. A bit of romance but not enough to ruin the story.”

Lifting his gaze to Kakashi, Gai barely contained his laughter when he saw him rolling his eyes.

“No,” Naruto huffed. “No princess’.”

No princess’. That took not only this book off of the list, but two other’s, which left Gai with only one other option.

“No romance, no sad stories, no princess’,” he repeated the restrictions to himself as he set the second book atop the shelf and began his search for the final book. “Well, how about-“ his eyes locked onto the book and he claimed it immediately. On the cover was a hero dressed in bright orange with his best friend at his side. Both of them wielded a sword and faced the reader directly. “This one is about a pair of hero’s. Best friends who go on adventures together.”

“No romance?” Naruto asked, his eyes glued on the cover.

“No romance.”

“And it’s not sad?”

“Not at all,” Gai assured him with a warm smile. “I read it just last weeks for story hour. The kids loved it.”

“I’m pretty sure they loved that you read it,” Kakashi argued, earning himself a skeptical look from Gai. “What? You’ve had story hour on Wednesday’s so I've heard you read. You put on voices and everything.”

“Voices!?” Naruto gasped. “Like Big Brother Kakashi does?”

A hand came down into a short blond hair and gently ruffled it. “Shush,” Kakashi grumbled, his eyes now directed toward the far right corner. That didn’t matter though. All Gai cared about was the brilliant red blush that was slowly making its way up Kakashi’s face.

Someone didn’t like being exposed as the dork he was, but Gai had never needed to hear it from someone else. He’d seen that dorky side of Kakashi every time he would gush about his latest novel, or whenever he’d follow Kakashi outside of the shop and see him interacting with his small pug, Pakkun.

Most importantly, Gai had fallen head over heels in love with Kakashi specifically because he was such a dork. It was rare to find someone as passionate as Kakashi was, with a good balance of coolness to balance out that dorky nature.

“Well, maybe if you like this book you can come back for another visit,” he held the book out towards Naruto. “And then I can read a story and you can tell us who has the better voices.”

“Gai, are you challenging me?” Kakashi tilted his head. “I’ll have you know i put on great voices for the stories.”

A smile stretched across Gai’s face. He’d always loved a good challenge, and there nothing he wouldn’t do to win. Even if his competition was the prettiest man he had ever laid eyes upon, Gai wasn’t going to sit back and lose.

‘Wait’ his brain screeched to a hault as he processed what Kakashi had said. ‘Was that a compliment? Did he compliment himself?’

It seemed impossible, but Gai was certain he’d heard Kakashi right.

Not only was it a compliment, but it was cocky. For the first time since Kakashi had walked through the door into his little bookshop, Gai heard something new.

An arrogance he’d never thought he would hear in Kakashi’s voice.

It was exciting.

“A Competition,” he declared, determined to hear more of that arrogance if he could. “One i will easily win.”

His words were met with laughter. Sweet, brilliant laughter. Something he had hoped to hear during Kakashi’s last visit, but which had been sadly lacking due to the terrible day he’d had.

“Don’t be so sure of yourself,” He held out a hand and took the book when Naruto offered it to him. “I won’t lose easily, even if you’re cute.”

As soon as the words left his mouth Kakashi’s entire face lit up in a brilliant shade a red. Something Gai had never seen before.

“Gross,” Naruto bulked at the scene before him. “You’re worse than dad.”

A competition, a laugh, three blushes, and a kid who might actually compete with Lee for the title of Gai’s favorite. In one short visit Kakashi had gifted him all of those things without even intending too.

Gai had thought he was in love before, but now he was certain of it. There was no one in the world better than Hatake Kakashi.

Still, that didn’t mean he was going to lose. He’d have to work on his character voices so that he could secure the win and earn his total as the ultimate creator of ‘story voices’.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

From Blood, Love and Courage - Chapter Eighteen.

A huge thank you to everyone for your continued interest. 25 notes needed to unlock the next chapter, as usual :)

Previous chapters - One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve  Thirteen  Fourteen  Fifteen  Sixteen  Seventeen

Words - 4,355

Tag list - In the comments, please message to be added/removed

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

Once they’d arrived home, they took a long shower together before coming back out to spend some time with Charlie, the bird hopping up and down Angel’s legs, playing with the tie on the front of his dark grey sweats.  

“Hey, you stop that! Don’t you be getting that beak near my junk, bro!” Leaning forward, he grabbed the baby teething rings from the coffee table, ones that looked like a set of chunky, brightly coloured keys, Charlie pacified immediately. “What are you looking at, baby?” Leaning over, he saw Lily searching through Instagram, looking for a certain person in particular.  

“I know which area he lives, he’s in San Francisco. I’m just not exactly sure where,” she told him, turning the screen of her phone to reveal Johnny’s Instagram account.  

“I can find that out for you, we have people who we rely on for that kind of information. I’ll have an address by tomorrow.”  

“Ahh, fucking fuck!” she suddenly cried, closing her eyes with a sigh. “Look at this.” Clicking on a post, the view from the aeroplane window, she handed her phone to Angel, who read the accompanying text.  

‘Dreams come true if you trust and believe! Currently in the air on the way to Thailand for nine weeks, to train with my good buddies at @tigertigermuaythai. Stoked beyond words! See ya later, California!’

The post was from four days ago, meaning he’d be out there for a while.  

“Well, this means we can plan what to do,” he began, crossing his legs, reaching to stroke Lily’s thigh. “I propose that me and a couple of the guys go watch his movements, do what we did tonight, bring him back to the club and let you do to him what I did earlier. Or whatever you want. It’s all up to you.”

“He’s out there in another country now, free to do this to whatever other woman. He obviously thinks it’s justifiable. What if another girl pisses him off and he does the same, or no! What if he’s a fucking date rapist too. All those girls out there on vacation he’ll have access to. God damnit, it makes me so angry!”

Scrolling through his Instagram, she began to get a good measure of him, even more so when she found, and thusly spent time viewing his Twitter feed. “Oh my god! Look at this! He’s fucking defending Trump over his comments towards women!” The more she read, the more she learned of the man she knew virtually nothing about before; he was a clear misogynist. So that’s why he’d jumped at the chance to fight her, he likely thought such would be easy, his own chauvinistic confidence dictating clearly to him that he could know her flat, as a superior male.  

All the evidence was there of a clearly superior attitude. Apart from more than a mere smattering of pro-Trump propaganda, there were a number of tweets containing material where Johnny weighed in on his thoughts over abortion and body autonomy (‘it’s a woman’s responsibility not to use abortion as a contraceptive’ he had stated) over slut shaming (‘women in itty bitty clothes are asking for any kind of attention they can get’) and the debate over equal pay (‘women aren’t equal, their salaries should reflect this’) along with a whole host of other unsavoury comments that had the couple quietly fuming.

“Did Larry not know any of this prior to putting you in an octagon with him?” Angel commented, after they’d scrolled and read through a few of those posts. “That’s nothing against Larry either, I wanna add. I’m just wondering.”

Lily closed the window on her phone, shaking her head. “We don’t tend to look at online presences, it’s all what we do in training or in the octagon itself.” She sat thoughtfully for a few moments, chewing her thumb, turning to him suddenly. “I really can’t discount that he hasn’t done this before.”

His eyebrows raised, nodding. “I think that’s a fair enough opinion to have. I mean, what kind of fucking woman hating, twisted up mind just goes to rape and battery like that? And not just on a whim; the guy fucking planned it all meticulously, obviously had your movements tracked, knew there were nights you walked down to the yard alone. He spent months with it festering in him. Hell yeah, I’m with you, mamas. I think he has.”  

Getting up, Lily went to the bar, picking up the bottle of vodka and swigging from it directly. “I know it’s a weird thing to say,” Angel began, viewing her sip back another mouthful, “but I feel like tonight, a little of the old Lily came back. The fucking badass fighter I fell in love with, the one I thought was gonna swing at me when I first saw her. I know you still got a lot of shit to process, but it was good, to see a little of the old you return. Probably feels anything but good for you, though, learning what you did tonight.”

She placed the bottle down, moving back to sit down next to him. “I felt better for watching that man die. Watching you do as you always promised you would, now knowing he can never do it to another woman ever again. The fury of knowing that it was someone within my world, not playing by our rules brought a little of the old me back, but I feel no better for her return.”

Of course, she wouldn’t. He’d acknowledged that, too, but felt a little dumb for speaking it, his mouth twisting as he looked down. “Hey, what’s this face for?”

“Ahh, nothing.” He waved it away, reaching to pet Charlie, still busy with his keys. “I just feel stupid for saying it was good to see you looking more like your old self, and you’re buggin’ out with anger. It was ridiculous.”

She snorted softly, leaning to kiss his cheek. “No, it wasn’t. I’ve been someone else for the past two months nearly. I might be letting in room for anger now, and still not quite one hundred percent myself, but you were right. A little of the old me came back tonight. Now, a little of the old me has a pressing question for you, because now I’m feeling more confident at being around people again, I want us to resume the house hunt. I’ll need something to throw myself into, rather than sit and stew over Johnny fucking Boswell, and I’m tired of throwing money at an apartment I’m not gonna go back to.”

She’d only returned to collect more belongings from her place a few times since it had happened, of course not wanting to be on her own. She still didn’t like it, but she was adjusting. Her living circumstances, though, she was very content with. Angel was a great guy to cohabit with. Mainly because he was actually very neat and cleanly, he couldn’t abide mess or dirt. He was a great improvement on her last ex, who left crumbs everywhere, dirt rings around the tub and laundry all over the floor.

“Alright, let’s do this.” He grabbed his phone from the coffee table, softly scolding Charlie when he made a beeline to bite his pendant as he so often did, the bird scuttling up his bare chest and lying down to snuggle, Angel stroking his head as they looked through houses. Of course, all the ones they’d had to cancel appointments to view after Lily’s attack had been rented out by then, but a fresh crop of homes had been added, the pair finding three they liked the look of, Angel emailing the agents to express their interest in viewing them.  

Once done, they stayed awake talking for a little longer, Lily fetching him a beer while she made herself a hot chocolate (being berated for using his favourite mug, the huge one he drank his morning coffee out of that he was always afraid she’d accidentally break) sitting up talking before heading to bed.  

“You know, I meant to tell you this earlier.” She rested her head on her chest, comfortable under the blankets with him, the night unusually a little chilly for Santo Padre and its ever-present heat. “The sight of you, all sweaty and covered in blood, it did something quite pleasant to me, you know.”

He was immediately interested by such a statement. “Oh, it did, huh?”  

“Mmm, yes. It made me actually feel desire, for the first time since... yeah. Since that night.”

He couldn’t deny, he liked where this was heading. “And is that something I can help you with?”

She kissed his chest, her hands curling around him to stroke his back. “I think it is.”

“Okay, but there’ll be conditions.” He lifted her chin, kissing the tip of her nose. “We take it slow, and if you even so much as freak out a tiny bit, brakes are on and we stop. I don’t want you rushing yourself into anything if you’re not ready.”  

“I’m ready,” she confirmed, nuzzling him. “Because despite the fact that I might still feel a little fear, there’s something else I need in order to keep on healing from it all. I need the last man inside me to be you again, and not them.”  

He nodded, kissing her, holding her to him as they stroked one another, having very, very strong words with himself. ‘You will hold yourself back, you will NOT go into this like a fucking raging bull.’ He knew he’d struggle with it, such was his overwhelming lust and longing for Lily, but this was not about him or his needs. This was all about her becoming reacquainted with physical intimacy, and he would respect that at every step, if it was the last thing he did.  

Remembering her reaction the previous morning to his erection bumping against her, he felt a little trepidation when his cock began to stir, almost wanting to will it to stay the hell down for as long as possible, shifting his hips back a little as their kisses heated up. Lily felt him pull back slightly, correctly guessing why as she began to stroke his chest, fingernails circling at his nipples until the stood pebbled, her nerves bubbling up in her chest as her hand travelled lower, stroking his abs.  

‘Come on, you used to be such a sexual creature before all of this, and it’s him, it’s Angel. He’s not going to hurt you. Be brave, girly. Be brave and just touch him.’ The feel of anticipation cording through him, his defined chest falling and rising a little faster as his breathing quickened guided her on, like his body was a map, taking her back again to a place she knew, a location she felt at ease within, her hand lowering until she felt his cock against her fingertips, big, rigid and gorgeous.  

Before her brain had chance to rewind to any traumatic memory of what the feel of an erection triggered within her, the groan that poured from his mouth to hers as they shared syrupy kisses edged in embers and honey shook her back to him. The two paths that existed within her forked, the one leading to trauma and the one to sexual pleasure, Angel's response pulling her back toward the correct one. Her hand reached beneath the waistband of his boxers, curling around him, feeling his hips stutter forward, another groan pooling in his throat as she tightened her hand.  

“Oh my god.” He whispered, overcome at the feel of her thumb circling over the tip of his cock, a little slick of precum wetting it, his heart thudding wildly as her mouth moved to his neck, wanting to touch her in return, but suddenly feeling nerves over doing such. Did he just lie there and let her get comfortable playing with him, would his own returned explorations of her be too much for her to process all at once?  

He didn’t know, all he knew was to feel her hand on him again made him feel like he had a monsoon whirling through his loins, his breathing ragged as she gently tugged at his shaft, blazing fire burning behind his closed eyelids. Fuck, he’d missed her. His abs twitched and his jaw tensed and relaxed as her grip travelled the length of him, thumb swirling at the head, descending again, a sharply drawn breath hitting her deep inside, something sparkling in remembrance at hearing, feeling his arousal, a hollow ache yearning for him to fill it.  

God, it was good. A little too good for Angel, though.

Catching her wrist, he halted her, his eyes a burning sea of dark fire as he looked down at her. “Yeah, you’re gonna make me cum if you carry on.”

“Already?” she exclaimed softly, Angel nodding a little bashfully, cringing slightly.

“Mmhmm. I missed you like fuck. But, if you’re okay with it, ain’t nothing stopping me from playing with you.” She bit her lip, her smile widening, her perfect, full lips curling before she pressed them against his, their hot kisses resuming, Angel’s hand reaching around her, stroking her back before flicking her bra clasp undone. He pulled it from her, Lily stopping to assist when her hair tangled in the strap slightly, muttering about needing a haircut. “Nooo, don’t you dare cut it!” he chuckled, hands gliding through her tresses, the feel of her naked breasts against him absolutely celestial.  

He turned her onto her back, but his body didn’t follow, wanting her to guide him there herself when she felt ready, edging down the bed slightly as he let his mouth glide in a sumptuous, slow tour of her neck. That mouth then took familiar paths over her chest, following the hands that lead the way, cupping her breasts and squeezing gently as his tongue tasted at the cavern between. She arched against him, a feeling like warm honey trickling through her insides at the heat of his mouth closing over her nipple, a soft whine skimming over her lips, the sound making his insides throb.  

She was enjoying it, she was relaxed. Well, so far, but he was scared of any other reaction she might have, hesitant to move south of her waist and test that. She transmitted her need in her movements, though, turning back onto her side, pulling his face level to hers and kissing him with a wanton moan, her leg resting over his hip, his cock skimming where she was becoming needy and soaked, Lily marvelling, breathing a sigh of relief that her body still remembered, still responded. It wasn’t frightened, it was readying itself, doing as it should, not scared into submission.  

Her reaction the previous morning, she deduced, was likely because of still being half asleep, startled suddenly, because now, there was no fear of him in an aroused state, only longing. She transmitted that to him, although Angel kept himself firmly in check, his hand slowly drifting down between their bodies, giving her plenty of opportunity to halt him, a shuddered gasp, almost hiccup like in sound fluttering from her throat as his fingers stroked over the damp fabric of her underwear, and she felt herself glimmer. A true, lustful glimmer of want.  

They back and forth exchange of kisses paused, Lily breaking her mouth from his to stare at him, his eyes almost black from the width of his pupils, her hands stroking his face, reaching for his shoulders and pulling him atop her as she turned. For a brief second, the weight of a male body atop her made something freeze, just for the briefest of seconds, until his mouth at her neck and whispered words ‘I love you so much’ thawed that chill, her legs winding around him, feeling his hardness pressed to her fully, her fingers gliding down his muscular back.  

His kisses descended her again, hands curling around the side of her underwear and pulling them down her thighs, reading her yearning, her body rocking up in a soft rise as she felt him press hot, open-mouthed kisses over her stomach, the muscles beneath bouncing, his hands gently pushing her legs apart, tongue skimming over her hipbone. He caught the scent of her arousal, his cock throbbing, mouth-watering ever so slightly from the memory alone of having her in his mouth, Lily’s breath catching on a soft moan as he kissed her softly from the dip of her hip to her bare pubic bound.  

He knew she was eager, but still, he paused, looking up at her, his eyes asking permission, her nod preceding his tongue to delve against her, her thighs shuddering so violently, he did have to wonder.

“Okay?” he questioned, kissing the inside of her thigh in pause. She nodded rapidly, her thighs falling further open, the heat of his mouth returning to her driving a small whine of bliss as she felt his tongue trawl slowly through her folds, dragging a circle over her clit before dipping to her entrance, pushing gently, a grunt echoing his throat to taste how wet she was, dragging those streams of warm nectar back to her clit, her fingers teasing through his dark hair as she keened against him with a soft groan.  

With the touch of his mouth, he had turned the place she feared to even touch for weeks, a place of violation, of cold dirtiness and traumatic, razor-edged agony back into a place of warm sublimity, of sacred intimacy, of something she wanted to feel connected to again, as each lick had warm wells of pleasure seeping through her once more. She reached for him, hands smoothing down his solid, bulky arms before returning to his hair, her hips swaying a little as the beat of his tongue drove the coil within her to tighten sharply, her breath hitching in her throat when he sucked on her bud, cheeks hollowing, dark eyes finding hers, winking at her.

Releasing her with a gloopy pop, the tip of his tongue circled at her again, slowly, evoking tingles, her hips shuddering. “You enjoying yourself up there, carina?”

She hummed a moan, smiling. “Very much.”

He laid a soft kiss upon her clit, stroking through the soaking mess of her folds with his thumb, tongue circling her inner thigh. “That’s what I like to hear.” He felt honoured by her reaction, by her bravery to allow him to do this for her, be so close to the place upon her where she’d been so physically traumatised. His admiration for her grew with every passing moment. Some women, he wagered, perhaps wouldn’t be brave enough to allow their lover back for a long, long time, and he was so proud of Lily that she’d gotten there.  

Returning his mouth to her, each lick made magma burn through her veins, pleasure skittering through her as a mist of heat ascended her spine, his hands stroking her inner thighs before he brought one to join his mouth, his middle finger gently circling at her opening. He tested, teasing her a little, giving her plenty of chance to tell him no before slowly, he slid it within her.  

“Is that okay?”  

She was bowled over by his respect towards her, her body, checking with her at every step that was he was doing was acceptable to her. She loved him even more in that moment than she ever had. “Yes, it’s amazing.” she panted, the curl of his finger within her to stroke at her g spot beyond sublime. She closed her eyes, her back arching, a second finger pushing within her, her wail of bliss an absolute feast of beauty for his ears, stroking her walls with a deft glide, laying wet heat over her clit with the flat of his tongue as he did.  

He felt her virtually melting around his fingers, the hot current of her arousal making his cock throb, moaning around a mouthful of her as he sucked at her once again, Lily in absolute ecstasy as she cried out, reaching for his arms, pulling him up.  

“I need you. I need you right now.” He obliged her, kissing her from her navel to her chest, tongue finding her nipples again and sucking them in turn as his hands bracketed her ribs, sliding down sensuously, his cock nudging at the slick pool, finding its way into her with an effortless glide. Everything was going beautifully, until that moment, the feel of herself stretching around him, her mind flashing back to the alleyway, that first intrusion, her entire body going rigid. He backed off immediately.  

“Hey, it’s okay. We don’t have to...” he fumbled for the words, eyes searching hers as he rested his weight on his forearms and knees, stroking her face. “It’s alright if you’re not ready for anything else.”  

“No, I am. I meant what I said, about you being the last man to be inside me. I need that, I need you, Angel,” she assured him, smiling, stroking his face. He shook his head, though.

“Not if it means you’re doing this with fear.”  

She sat up beneath him a little, her lips finding his, her hand reaching between them to guide him back to her centre. “I need you, Angel. I need to take back this part of me, so it isn’t theirs any longer.” His cock twitched as she positioning him at her dewy opening, nodding, kissing her as he once again pushed into her, Lily gasping as she was filled... and then there he was. The last man inside of her was the one she loved. The one who would always be welcome there.

Although she knew she could never hit the erase button on what had happened to her, she thought to herself that this wasn’t erasing, it was taping over, replacing what existed with something else, something that had existed before, winding her arms around him as he bottomed out and slid back again, the silky spear of his return evoking a soft cry.  

God, he felt so good.  

Exchanging soft kisses as they stroked one another, Lily felt truly overcome by the moment, by him, his staggering patience and gentleness with her, panting softly against his mouth as their tongues entwined. Every vein and ridge of his cock felt amazing as it cut through her soaking core, Lily nuzzling him as she moaned, moving her mouth to kiss his neck, her nails making a herd of goosepimples follow their trail as they dragged down his back.  

It was just her and him, lost in sensual longing, her body lit up once more, the light and beauty of a billion stars rushing through her, his body pressed to hers, smooth, brown skin crushed against her pale flesh, the designs of their tattoos merging together as they entwined with each other.

Her hands grasped at his butt, pulling him against her. “Faster.” she urged, and he responded, driving into her hard, allowing his need to take over now she had given the permission he needed to hear from her first. “Fuck!” she cursed, his teeth nipping her neck. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” The words left her like a mantra, overcome, burning with pleasure at the stretching of her soft cunt around his hard, wide girth.  

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” He chanted, holding her face in his hands, kissing her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, her lips, his mouth coming to kiss her throat as they rocked together in the most magmatic, loving union either had ever experienced.  

She was blinded by the passion of him, such raw sensuality, her legs gripped tightly at his sides, her hands touring the chiselled muscles of his back. It was a moment like no other they had ever shared, Angel encompassing her like a cyclone, wrapping her up until all that existed in her world was him, them, that moment of pure, unfiltered, loving sex.

And to think, she had once feared that it would never return to her, that she would never have the ability to once again resume this side of her life with the man who pawed at her with hunger, who rained kisses upon her throat like a hailstorm, his hands reaching beneath her body, gripping her butt, holding her for a second to drive into her sharply before his clench relaxed, but the motions of his hips daggering into her did nothing but escalate.  

She was lost to him entirely, little pricks of pleasure melting down her spine as his fingers glided beneath her, over her bones and back around to knead her breasts, his mouth sucking each nipple diligently in turn. He chased each sinful throb around his cock with a harder thrust, intruding into her so deeply, he truly felt one with her. Where he ended and she began was now a map unchartered.  

He had her breathless, glimmering, her back arching off the bed as he moved to his knees and pulled her up with him, his hands gliding over her flesh as he bounced her on every last thick, hot inch of his cock, her nails dragging down his back as their shared heated kissed full of need. Lightning began to strike at the base of her spine, ecstasy fizzing through her bones, right through to the very marrow of her as she felt herself teetering, reaching the precipice.  

Her thighs trembled, squeezing against his hips, feeling him charging to the same destination, until it was upon them both, a fiery tempest, sweeping them both up as the tingles of release erupted, dragging them under, yet neither had ever ascended with such height before. It was chaotic, steeped in magmatic heat, leaving them breathless, quivering, utterly undone and boneless in the wake of such calamity as they fought to breathe.  

Resting her forehead to his shoulder, she felt whole again. In the garden of Angel’s bed, Lily had bloomed. And there wasn’t a thorn in sight.  

[original-character-championship]

REASONS TO VOTE RAT!

are you undecided about whether to vote for rat kralie? is their inspiring blurb and cute art enough for you? HUH PUNK? IS THAT IT?!

well, you’re in luck, because i have a few more reasons to help secure them their rightful place as the #1 oc of all time!

1. they’re a flexible character!

originally a gorillaz oc (turned fandomless), i tend to throw rat into whatever interest i have at the time … or sometimes, i throw them into interests my friends have, because it’s just that easy to make them aus! with aus comes alternate designs, so here’s one that might appeal to you more than their main one: DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS AU!

[image id: a transparent, flat colored drawing of a character’s full body, with a basic standing pose. they’re wearing a flowing fantasy-inspired outfit with a metal shoulder plate, and they have split-dyed hair. there is purple makeup around their eyes, as well as on the tips of their ears, which are pierced and pointed in an elvish manner. /end id.]

2. they’re relatable!

maybe what i’ve already said about their relatability isn’t enough. maybe you think you’re not like all the other zoomers, and you couldn’t possibly kin rat kralie … but you’re DEAD WRONG. here are some relatable rat images for you to appreciate, and to show you that rat is truly the people’s candidate.

[image id: two bust doodles of the same character. in the top doodle, which is uncolored, the character is slumped forwards, holding their phone. they ask, “hey siri, how much caffeine can kill you?” to which siri responds, “5000 mg!” with a smiley face. the character replies, “ok. siri you need to take me to the hospital.” in the bottom doodle, which is flat colored, the character is visibly sleep-deprived and crying, with visible roots in their split-dyed hair. they’re saying, “i’m really happy for them actually!” /end id.]

[image id: a flat-colored waist-up drawing of a character with split-dyed hair on a gray background. they’re looking at the viewer with one hand proudly against their chest and saying, “i got my gender at 7/11. they just give those things out for free don'cha know?” /end id.]

3. THEY’RE FUNNY!

i know what you’re thinking. everyone thinks their funny, and everyone probably thinks their oc is funny, too. but as is tradition, i will now submit evidence to the court that rat is funny in every sense, both in character and as a tool for other jokes - so don’t take my word for it, just see for yourself!

[image id: a low resolution bust drawing of a character with split-dyed hair against a bright red background. they are flat colored and looking off into the distance, at an unknown party. in a chunky speech bubble, they ask, “why are you filled with so much aggression and hatred? i’m finding it difficult to assume what you must have went through to mold you into the person standing in front of me right now.” /end id.]

for ease of access, i will now provide a bulleted list of genuine rat quotes from various sources - but these are all things they’ve said in character at one point or another! (may be edited slightly for clarity/context)

“HE COULD NEVER REPLACE ME, HE’S NOT NEARLY AS SILLY!”

(with genuine horror) “do i have to work at an office job if i get in trouble?”

“yo mama living under communism.”

“i wanna be your lawyer, i love ace attorney! let’s explain to the judge that sans is ness!”

(upon spotting an enemy of the state) “hey … who’s that hobo over there?”

in conclusion …

sure, rat doesn’t have any crazy powers (in most aus), and they’ve never done anything super insane like killed god or saved the world. but let’s be real, you don’t have any crazy powers either, nor have you killed god or saved the world (to my knowledge). if nothing else, you have these things in common with them … but i’m sure if you got to know them, you’d have many, many more.

this is why, for the duration of their run in the championship, i will be answering ALL AND ANY questions about rat if you send them via ask to my blog (@ethanmars). in this way, we will prove who the best candidate is.

and remember: a vote for rat is a vote for girlboys everywhere!

[sideofcalimary]

After the photo

Hitoshi: Yeah, run that by me again but this time, don't try to wake up sister

Ochako groans and pulls at her hair, trying to lower her voice: I said.. I made the best deal of my life with SPIDERMAN

Hitoshi leans back on his seat, watching Ochako pace around flailing her arms: And you accomplished that by blackmailing him?

Ochako glared: I didn't blackmail him! It was a mutual agreement! He models for me and I don't sell my picture to the Daily Bugle

Hitoshi raises a brow Ochako: Okay it was unintentional blackmailing but to be fair, most people would've taken a picture too if Spiderman and Deadpool were on their balcony holding hands! I just so happen to have had my camera with me and, unfortunately, the flash on Hitoshi: I don't wanna be an asshole, but I don't think investigative journalism is going too well

Ochako threw an empty chip bag at him: Says the guy who hacks into rich people's accounts to buy cat posters

Hitoshi: they're very motivating

Ochako: And you're a hermit Hitoshi: Whatever, SunShine. Least I'm not blackmailing a supposed 'hero'

Ochako: he's being a hero by helping me. If I can get a couple good action shots of him that I can sell to publications, I could actually help my parents with rent for once Hitoshi opens his mouth

Ochako: No. I'm doing this on my own, Shinso-San. Besides, I wasn't planning on actually selling the photo

Hitoshi gives her a look

Ochako: ... I wasn't planning on selling it /right away/

Hitoshi: You know this is dangerous right? Ochako flops down on a beanbag: He's good guy thick thighs spiderman, how dangerous could it be?

Hitoshi: I'm gonna ignore the thighs comment and remind you of who he hangs out with

Ochako groans: Don't remind me

Hitoshi: Kinda have to since he's the one with the body count Ochako puffs out her chest confidently: He's also the one with the biggest mouth. I'm not scared of him! He can yell at me all the oddly specific threats he wants, he wouldn't lay a finger on me!

Hitoshi: and what makes you so sure?

Ochako smiles and holds up a photo It was one she took of Spiderman and Deadpool, gazing at each other with their hands locked together in the moonlight

Ochako: Spiderman said they made a promise. And the guy is too smitten to break it

-

-

-

Deadpool grumbles as he lays back on the roof of his and Spiderman's usual hang meetup spot. He hadn't seen Spiderman for a week. Always busy with something and it was starting to irritate him

Deadpool: The fuck's got him so busy... A familiar call comes in a second or so later: DEADPOOL!

Deadpool: Speak of the spider

Deadpool flips himself up to his feet and stretches, trying to act all nonchalant and cool about it as he turns to look at his hero partner: How many cats did web out of a tree this... time The sight before him had Deadpool stunned for a moment

There, Spiderman stood, not in hero suit

but an actual /suit/

It seemed form fitting on him but was obviously not his. The dark blue blazer and pants contrasts his pressed white button up and loose tie Dress shoes clicked onto the concrete roof of the building, unlike he usual silent chunky red shoes

Web gloves still worn along with his mask. Duffle bag over his shoulder

The swinging around to get there had ruffled the suit but by god did he look incredible nonetheless

Deadpool couldn't breath

Spiderman walks over, ever step clicked as he tries to fix his tie: Sorry I'm late, this is really hard to explain and you'll probably get mad. But it was the best course of action I could take and it seemed harmless enough Deadpool's eyes wondered along the tight fit around his arms

Spiderman continues on his explanation but it was all white noise to Deadpool who continues to marvel at the hero

This was the first time he'd seen him in anything other then hero suit. And it was a sight The dress shirt, though not untucked, hugged his short stocky form perfectly. the jacket looked nice draped over him and the loose red tie revealed the two unbuttoned buttons of his collar

/his collar/

Uneven, messy from his antics

but revealed beautiful freckles At least, freckles hidden just below his collar bone

there was probably more lower down, like the ones on his belly

Deadpool hadn't noticed he'd stepped closer to get a better look. He cursed the darkness, wishing he had a light he could shine at the exposed skin Spiderman: - So I didn't have time to change! I'm actually gonna sneak into a bathroom here and-

Deadpool: handsome

Spiderman bites his tongue and winces: Ow- huh, what?

Deadpool: You look handsome

Spiderman takes a second to process those words If Deadpool could look closer, he would see the slight tint of pink just around parts of his neck that were exposed

Spiderman: uh.. Thanks..? Thanks, I guess uh anyways. I'm gonna go sneak into a bathroom and change-

Deadpool spoke softly in a daze: Can I help?

• • •

Yeah that was a hard no and how Deadpool found himself sitting outside a bathroom with a very obvious pout poking from his mask

Spiderman: I can hear you pouting out there

Deadpool: I cAn HEar YoU PoUtInG oUT tHeRE

Spiderman sighs as he shuffles into his suit Spiderman: I appreciate the offer-

Deadpool: clearly didn't

Spiderman: but I don't need help putting on a suit I put on almost every day

Deadpool: I know but when are you gonna give me an actual shot?

Spiderman: when I switch from webs to guns Deadpool: Adorable. But come on Spidey~ you can't just swing in looking like a fine meal and expect me NOT to want you more

Spiderman sighs: I'll.. I'll think about it, Dead

Deadpool leans back against the door: for how long?

Spiderman: I don't know, gonna have to find out Deadpool: ugh you dragging out this AU is painful at this point

Spiderman: what?

Deadpool: do you like me?

Spiderman stays quiet as he shuffles around. Soon the door opens, making Deadpool fall back and stare up at his hero partner who held the door Spiderman: Maybe. Debating on it since you walk the line of annoying and endearing

Deadpool: do the ends of those lines have 'sexy' and 'datable'?

Spiderman laughs and steps over Deadpool, in his full hero gear carrying a bag with his previous clothes in it Spiderman: Keep walking and maybe you'll find out. Well, unless you suddenly fall for someone else

Deadpool flips himself up and grins behind the mask: Not gonna happen. You're my one and only, BugBabe~ I'll wait for as long as it takes

Spiderman smiles sadly to himself Spiderman: Even if I have feelings for someone else?

Deadpool: I'm not gonna be a piss baby if I find out you're dating someone else. But mark my words-

Spiderman does quotes with his fingers: "You'll have your eyes on me and only me" I know

Spiderman laughs: your declaration of love sounded more like a threat than a confession

Deadpool: I'm a man of action

Spiderman: And a man of many swears. Now come on. We got a neighbor to protect

Deadpool: and some burgers to eat. You owe me

Spiderman: what a gentleman

[atztranspm]

Wooyoung PM 4 : 07/27/23

(Wooyoung did a live with no messages)

He started the live and waited a little for some more people to join and started looking at the comments. He read a few hear and there. He said he wanted to a live since the last one he did was in Saudia Arabia. He said he was on break from doing fan calls so he did a live.

He said that he saw atiny really liked when he danced S-Class by stray kids back when they preformed in madrid. He said that he was was supposed to film a dance challenge with Changbin but since their schedules didn't match up, they couldn't (he dropped this on me and now I'm tearing up. Wym we could have gotten changbin and wooyoung dancing to s-class and maybe bouncy together 😭😭😭😭)

Lots of atiny were telling him to be careful cuz it was really hot and he said, that he doesn't really leave to go out much so he hadn't even realized. (He just like me, we are the same 🤩🤞)

Many atiny were asking if his waterbomb outfit would be revealing and to reveal something but he said he would not be doing that. (Yall can barely handle a sliver of fore arm, and you want him half naked on stage 🤨📸🤏)

Someone asked what he was wearing today and he got up to show us his outfit "it's cute right?" Did a little 360 of the fit and then showed us his shoes. He said these are the ones everyone makes fun of him for wearing cuz they're really big and Chunky (he can stomp on me we those tanks on his feet and I'd be grateful)

Someone ask he was doing and he said that he's in good condition. He is eating right and taking care of himself. He said he gained a little weight recently and was trying to lose it. He said he looks in the mirror sometimes and wonders what an idol should look like and if he fits the description (I'm in tears omg) he said he had to lose weight in order for him to feel like he fits the idol category and to his best (wooyoung got me all emotional. I saw people not taking him seriously on twitter an yall- I'm upset. Please give them lots of love and praise) he said his eyes look bigger cuz his face sinks in when he loses weight. He laughed it off when fans were worried for him. He said that if we're worried now when he hasn't lost much weight, what should he do.

There was a lot of comments asking for waterbomb spoilers and he said it would be no fun if he were to spoil it. He said to look foward to it.

He said that the staff feeds them well and he had abura soba (see now I want to try it)

He was wearing glasses on his head and some atiny asked about it. He said that there's a glare from the light and it bothered him so he put them on his head instead. He said their normal glasses not sunglasses.

He spoke a little about his family, I think someone asked about kyungmin, but he said he hadn't seen his brothers or mom (in person) in a while.

Someone asked about ayun and arin (the two babies they played with on that show...I forgot the name...hold on.....baby cloud? You can watch it on YouTube, it's super cute) and he said that seonghwa, san and him were thinking of going to visit them because he missed them a lot (me when I start sobbing cuz that's literally so cute u don't understand, I'm clutching my chest)

He said he was going to upload pics on insta later (he posted them already btw)

He spoke a little about his hair, he said he had grown it out quite a bit. He played with it a little. He said he hadn't cute it since he dyed it black back in halazia era. He hasn't even thought of cutting it and probably won't. He said he wants it to reach his chin and then he'll keep it at that length.

He said when he cuts his hair, he's going to dye it blonde first. He has set plans for his hair. He said he spent so long trying to grow his hair out that it would be a shame to just cut it off now. But in the future sometime. (Blonde wooyoung making a comeback is all I need)

After that he said he had to go back to doing fancalls so he ended the live with a little babaiii <3

(I aspire to be like wooyoung, he's literally my soulmate idc)

[crossbackpoke-check]

most boys could be improved with a little nail polish bit thomas bordeleau especially. like what is not clicking for him that he hasn’t done it already my god

EX 👏 ACT 👏 LY you understand. i saw this post one time and simply never looked back so without further ado here are the top ten nail polishes, in no particular order, that i think thomas bordeleau should try:

1. sally hanson xtreme wear in 140 rockstar pink

we’re starting with this one because i previously mentioned it in another post, and, while i think thom gives the vibes of a single color natural nail mani, i like this one because it’s one polish that’s multicolor—dark pink glitter with a little bit of blue to call in the sjs and the baby blue suit he was wearing. also, glitter nail polishes will last you FOREVER

2. chanel le vernis in 339 cassis

also have to start out by including my closest approximation to the nail polish in the photo that started this all. i love the sheerness of this polish, which means it can be more unobtrusive and a little blink-and-you’ll-miss-it barely-there detail or more prominent with more layers

3. gucci glossy in 715 winterset snow

personally i don’t often go for a white nail but i think borde would like something very crisp and clean (white does look nice on him). however, i think his white and/or cream needs to be a little cooler and not as much on the yellow side, which made finding this polish difficult but like. what else was i doing today (so many things)

4. les mains hermès in 85 rouge h

we have solid evidence that borde loooves a good maroon moment and i did specifically pick hermès (no idea why. fancy? would appeal to him?). love the cooler tones in this red for him and i heavily debated giving him this really deep rich purple (violet byzantin) of the same style of polish but we can work up to wearing that one

5. cirque colors x live. love. polish in puttin’ on the ritz

while i know the first color on here is literally a fine glitter, To Me thomas bordeleau is a chunky glitter gorl. it’s got artsy details, a bunch of different types of glitter, it’s iridescent, it can be layered, i’m in love with it. it will match any outfit thom i promise

6. maniology in b333 gold rush

imho i would wear more silver jewelry to compliment the cool tones he likes to wear BUT. borde almost always sports gold (honestly not bad wrt bringing out the california tan, it doesn’t wash him out) so i am giving him a boring, but very specific metallic not-too-yellow-or-light-or sparkly gold nail color. sorry. just paint one nail and use it like an accent or for french tips for spice, idk bud you’re the hand model here and i am simply an incredibly picky art director

7. àuda.b in my cactus

i love how vibrant this green is, i love the finish on it, i think we could convince thom to branch out into more jewel tones and pastels. also yes i picked this to match his houseplants

8. nails.inc caught in the nude in hawaii beach & boy de chanel in 404 black

i have a lot of shiny and glittery finishes on this list and i reeeeally wanted to throw in a matte finish so. this is a two for one because i couldn’t find a matte version of this chocolate brown that i really liked for him but also i’m giving him a special matte black polish because to me these are both neutrals

9. mooncat in millennia

this one just looks dope. i feel like he would like the chrome effect to it? it is more high effort because it’s a magnetic polish, but also given that he loves juicewrld now i think i could swing this one on that basis alone (it’s the same colors as legends never die).

10. zoya in zp797 cecilia

how could i make this list and not include a pacific teal nail polish for the san jose sharks 🦈 this also would be stunning as a pop of color to accent his grey game day suits just saying

ok if you made it to the end of this i love you ✨ thank you for coming to my ill-advised impromptu ted talk @ thom please paint ur nails and also confirm or deny whether you have pierced your ears thank you

[jodilin65]

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 30, 1994 I just got off the phone talking to Andy. Sure enough, the day he arrived the weather took a turn for the worst. Up till his arrival, the weather had been in the 50s. He said he was freezing the whole time and it never got up above 32º. He said all he could think about was me laughing at him.

He saw his family and said Linda’s daughter Samantha was cute which surprised him, cuz he too, thinks babies are ugly. I agree. They all look the same, too.

He said he just knows his 6-year-old nephew Brian’s going to be gay. Maybe so, cuz when Lisa was a baby I always felt she’d be into music, and I was right. Music and gayness run in families.

He stood at Mary’s and she, Adam and Adam’s best friend Mona from San Francisco and he went to dinner to celebrate Adam’s birthday. This girl Mona apparently moved back and is a topless dancer in Springfield. And is making way more than I did here. Andy says she’s blond with big tits, though, so maybe that’s why. I also think it’s cuz there are fewer topless bars in Springfield than there are in Phoenix. Andy, Adam, and 4 others went to a gay bar in Hartford and were shocked to see it was packed with wall-to-wall people. There he met up with an old lust object he met 15 years ago who wants to get back together with him. Andy said he would’ve if he lived there. The funniest part of it was when they left the bar after 5 hours. When he came out of the bar it was snowing really hard and all the cars were covered. Before that, when Mary came to wake him up at noon, she came into his room and said, “Look. I’ve got something to show you.” She pulled up the shade and there was a dusting of snow. He said he was like - oh my God! When he returned to Adam’s in Adam’s car, he had to do something he swore he’d never do again - clean snow off of a car. He had driven his father’s car over there.

He said no one bad-mouthed me. His mom said I turned out to be a beautiful girl and remembers when I was chunky. They asked if Tom and I were going to have a kid. Judy said she was glad I got to see Goldie and Al and said she always liked them.

He said he called Nervous and he actually talked to him. He wanted to go over and take a picture of him and Crystal, but he wouldn’t let him.

He slept from 4 AM to noon while he was there.

Well, that’s all for now. In a half-hour, I’m going to watch a movie I taped.

Later…

I watched a couple of movies I taped. They were so-so.

I tested Tom’s PrintBMP programs for bugs. So far, so good. I printed out 2” pictures all the way up to 11”. I printed out Piggy, Norah, and drawings I did of Linda and Gloria, as well as a couple off the top of my head.

I wallpapered the back wall of Piggy’s cage by taping pictures on from the outside facing in. One of Piggy, 2 of Norah, 2 Linda drawings and 3 Gloria drawings.

Tom got that envelope yesterday from my parents. It was a Phoenix Suns T-shirt. He really liked it as he really likes basketball.

I chatted with my dad earlier. I called Tammy too, who had a friend over at the time.

Another funny thing Andy said was how he missed his plane because he had to take a shit. He was delayed for two hours.

It’s not as cold here as it is in the east, but I wish it was in the 80s here like it is in Florida. It’s pretty chilly out there right now, but where my parents are you can lie out in the sun and go swimming. The pool temperature is 50º.

What should I do now? I guess I’ll pump in a little bit of fresh air and go start typing another document for Tom.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 1994 First I’ll go into detail about making the earrings, then into what Marjorie gave us. The earring kit came with 4 strips of soft metallic plastic. One strip makes 4 pairs. It also had the mold and the backings and parts. What you do is cut a strip in half and put them in a pot of hot water with a few drops of cooking oil so they don’t stick. Then, when they get soft and flimsy you take them out and press them into the earring mold. Then you set it in cold water for a couple of minutes, then take them out and trim off excess plastic on the outside of the mold and remove the mold. The last part’s easy. You peel off a dot over the adhesive, push the backing down into it and pull it out with its adhesive on it. Then you stick it wherever you want on the back of the earring, put the post on, and they’re ready to wear. I have a pink one, a green one, one with light pastel colors and one with darker colors. I just had a pair on but I had to take them off as they were irritating me. I can’t wear fake stuff in my ears.

Marjorie’s sister Margaret sent us a Christmas card and she also wished me a happy Chanukah. She lives in San Diego. She also gave us some cookies she made, some material and scissors that are great for cutting material. Now I can keep an extra pair in my room. We had one in the back room, one in the kitchen and one in the living room. I had a pair in my room, but they were quite little. The ones that were in the kitchen now live in my room and the ones Marjorie gave us are in the kitchen.

Later…

The good news is that I cut 30 square foot pieces of material and sewed them into 5 strips of 6. Then, I connected 2 of those strips side by side. The bad news is that when I went to attach the third strip, I got it backward, with the backside of the material facing the wrong way. Tomorrow, or whenever, I have to take the seam ripper and rip it off and put it right side up. Then hitch on the remaining 2 strips and hope I don’t fuck that up. Lastly, I’ll hem the 4 edges and hope to hell I’ve made a fairly decent quilt.

I have about 11 different patterns. The 7 Marjorie gave us, a sheet, an old dress, and those 2 from the material we got to make the 2 throw pillows that are on the living room couch.

Tonight there’s to be a movie on called Bionic Ever After. At least, I think that’s what it’s called. Lindsay Wagner and Lee Majors reunite to get married, I guess.

Tom says there’s also some bionic quiz on Prodigy, too. I’ll have to check that out in a little while.

We ordered stuff at dirt-cheap prices from a catalog. He got tools and I got Velcro sneakers, a nightie, and a few other things too, which I can’t remember.

Later…

I just finished typing up 25 and now it’s printing out. The next one (26) should go fast. It’s a 130-pager, but I only need to type up about 94 pages. The rest is letters or convos from tapes that I copied in.

As tired as I am I have to stay up till 2:00 to take Andy’s last tape out and put it with the rest of them by the door, even though Tom would gladly do it.

Tom’s going to tape the movie I mentioned earlier in his room and I’m going to tape a movie in the living room.

I let Andy know we’ll both be asleep, so he’ll use his key to let himself in quietly.

Tom left about an hour ago to go take his parents to the racetrack. Barely 5 minutes after he left Marge called saying Dad’s stomach was bothering him, but that maybe it’d be OK by the time he got there. I thanked her for the stuff, too. I guess he’s feeling better cuz Tom hasn’t returned. Maybe he’s over there chatting. I know how much they all like to talk.

Well, now I’m going to go check the printer. My stuff should be done printing any minute.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 1994 Wow! Only 8 more days to go! Can’t wait to get it over with and get on with life in stereo.

Last night at sundown was the beginning of Chanukah. I never lit the candles since being on my own and we doubt my parents would’ve sent the menorah, candles, and that plate if I weren’t married. Last night, or afternoon, I should say, I lit the candles. It was fun and interesting. Especially for Tom as this is all new to him.

I’m sure my parents tried to call, but I was in bed and Tom had the ringer off to do computer work. I talked to Tammy and Bill. Tammy said she appreciated the gifts. I’m glad she did.

I finished the Tammy and Sarah documents yesterday. And Shauna’s, too.

Yesterday morning Tom swept out the garage and I took all the trash out of his car. Tons of it.

Shortly after Tom got up, we screwed around. We experimented with different positions. It was fun and it’s getting easier.

Then, we went to a bookstore and an art store. He got a computer book and I got 2 journals. In the art store, I got these pens, plaster of Paris to mold figurines, and an earring-making kit. We made all 4 earrings in the kit. They came out really cool looking and they’re not hard at all to make. I’ll expand much more on it tomorrow.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 1994 I just checked Andy’s messages for the first time since he’s been gone. He’s got 26. The bulk of them is from an ex-coworker. I think that’s who it is. A few calls from the ad he placed. One sounded promising, one a complete ditz, and the other a slut. The dirty old man type. Lots of hang-ups too, that are probably ad-related. I used to get that a lot when I placed ads back east.

I finally did get around to writing Alex a letter. Also to Bob, Tammy and my parents. I wrote them to give my wrist a break from all the typing I did.

Several months ago, Tom printed out pictures for me to draw and I did, so I turned it into stationery.

I’d also like to get that V-shaped keyboard they make. It really should decrease wrist strain. I added a few more things to the ‘to do’ and ‘to get’ lists.

I got a letter from Bob today. I found it ironic that he said he expects us to have a kid by November 26, 1995. Why? Cuz I had feelings about November, Tom said he thought it’d be the end of ‘95 or the beginning of ‘96 and that most people in his family are born in the winter or summer. On the other hand, that means getting pregnant around March. That’s awfully fast for a DES daughter, even if after the surgery he came like there was no tomorrow. Seeing is believing for me, though. The other day we were talking about not always getting something you wanted. Whether it’s out of your control or you’re waiting. Like when Tom said the reason I’m not pregnant is cuz we agreed to wait. When he said that, that deepened my belief that he could’ve cum since day one, but is waiting for when we are ready. With all that’s gone on, though, plus my surgery, I’m very glad we waited. However, if he doesn’t cum in time after surgery, I’m going to think two things: That God doesn’t want me to have a kid and that there’s something wrong with him, but his ego or manhood won’t allow him to say so and go talk to a doctor about it. No, I don’t think I’d think he didn’t want a kid unless he told me so and he’s told me he does want one.

We’ve had good talks and he gives good advice. He brought up a very good point about why we don’t have tapes of me singing. Besides blocks, I’ve got in my head due to those bullshit bands back east and Scott, he said I worry too much about the end of things which prevents or makes it hard for me to start things. Yeah, it’s true that I’d sit there and ask myself what I’d do with the money, for example, whether I made a little or millions.

I’ve often told myself to bring back the music. Sing more, play the guitar and keyboards, but then I ask myself, “What for?” The answer should’ve been, “Cuz it’s what I like to do.” I wish I had the same attitude about it as I do with writing these journals and drawing. I do it cuz I like it. I never think of the end, and doing these things serves no purpose.

Tom sure was also right when he mentioned how I never thought drawing on paper would lead to me drawing on walls. Very true. I mentioned this to Tammy and my parents, too.

Later…

I talked to Mom real quick yesterday who said she couldn’t really use the crayon can, it was childish, and if she found a child she’d give it to them. Most people would’ve been like, fine! Fuck you then. But I appreciate her honesty and this way I know never to send anything like it again. Just like when they used to send me grandma clothes. I’d send them back, rather than let them sit here and go to waste. I’m not shocked as she is “too grown up,” but a part of me is shocked as she has her own set of Mickey Mouse T-shirts, stuffed animals, etc. I believe you’re never too old for anything. I forgot to say this in my letter to my parents, but I think it’d be best if we told each other what we want for birthdays and holidays.

I haven’t sent Scott anything for about a year, and I know he’s long since moved, so his father’s getting two Bob letters. I know Scott will hear all about it. I wrote his dad’s address as the return address, too, with no postage and I’m having Andy send it. This way the mailman won’t see there’s no stamp on it, as he picks it up from here, and toss it back in the mail slot. I doubt he’d do that even if he did notice that there wasn’t any postage, but this way I don’t have to worry.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 1994 I was trying to decide if I should make a period chart for 1995 on the computer or do one myself. Well, I came up with an even better idea. Journals 36 to 40 and 52 and letter books have every other page blank for the most part cuz I glued in pages and wrote stuff not back to back. In 52, 100% of it has every other page blank. I’ll use a page for each year. I just wrote up the 1995 period chart. It’s a bit sloppy, but it’ll work. I may or may not use all blank pages in all books for letters. That’d take forever to fill up. There could be a few hundred of those. Tonight I typed up the Shauna doc and began 25.

I hope Andy doesn’t kill me for forgetting to record his shows in SP today. At least they did get taped, but hopefully these two soaps will be the most boring of all.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 1994 I just finished typing 26.

Tom and I had a steak for our Turkey Day dinner.

My parents called and we chatted about our visit with Goldie and Al.

Ma asked me about the picture she sent since I didn’t write about it. I told her that it wasn’t until right after I finished their letter that I got the message behind it and read it. Tom and I were right. Even though the girl in the picture had brown hair that was only medium length, she reminded them of me. She said they got it in a gallery.

They said they went over to Marty & Ruth’s for dinner. Better them than me. Or us.

She said to tell Tom to look for a brown envelope. I asked Dad to tell me what it is and that I wouldn’t tell (I really wouldn’t), but he wouldn’t tell.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 1994 Dinner tonight with Goldie and Al was great. Tom was impressed with them and he enjoyed himself, too. Goldie and Al looked very happy. They didn’t look as big as I thought they might, and I don’t remember them being so short.

I could tell they were judging me for who I was today. Not in the past. I told Tom they were always good to me, never gossiped or bad-mouthed people.

Dinner was their treat and pretty good. I got eggplant and Tom got lasagna.

They told me more about their retirement plans. They had once stayed on the beachfront where my folks used to live for $1,800 a month! I guess my folks were paying $800 a month. Wow! They got a 3-month lease on an apartment in Las Vegas.

They showed me pictures of Aaron and Noah, their wives, and their kids. Of course, I’d never say this to them, but they didn’t look too great. Their wives were so ugly and looked like typical moms. I brought our wedding pictures, some of me at the two apartment complexes I lived at here, and those pictures of Tammy and Noah going to Tammy’s prom.

If anything shocked them, it was how happy I’ve become and that I’m not fat anymore.

I never could remember how they met, so they told me that they lived next to my folks in Springfield on Willowbrook Dr. They left Springfield in 1966 and they hate Springfield too, and understand how shitty it is there.

Goldie said Ma was always a night person. Really? I don’t remember that. I know she’d be up till 11 PM - 1 AM, usually, and sometimes slept till noon on weekends. She was never up, though, that I knew of at 2:00 - 4:00 AM.

We were laughing at how Goldie was going to say to Ma, “Ha-ha. I got to meet your son-in-law first!”

They are quite happy for me about my ear surgery and are going to call me a few days after the surgery to see how it went.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 1994 Just a very quick rundown on things cuz I’m about ready for bed. I made a mistake in saying Andy arrived in CT at 7:00 our time. He arrived at 7:00 their time.

Al called. They said it’ll be easier if we could meet them at the Olive Garden restaurant in Sun City. It’s about a 45-minute drive, but it’s worth it. We’ll be there at 6:30. Al said he was going to bring some pictures and so am I. Our wedding pictures, pictures of me at the VV & CC, and something else I’m sure they least expect. Their son Noah went to Tam’s prom with her and I have pictures of this. They were outside of the house we had on Berkeley Dr. in Longmeadow. I was in one of the shots all bandaged up after ear surgery. They oughta get a kick out of it, but I’ll expand more on that and other stuff tomorrow.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 1994 Andy came over, but not for long as he has to get up at 8 AM. His plane leaves at 10 AM and he'll arrive in Hartford at 7 PM. His layover in Washington D.C. is an hour, so it'll be a 9-hour ordeal for him. Yuck! I sure as hell don't envy him. I called Prodigy while he was here and it finally does look like it's cooling way down there. It may even snow. The satellite showed flurries into New York and Vermont. The humidity's 92%. No thanks. I don't miss that shit.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 1994 After I got up today, we went over to Mary’s to check out that vanity table and mirror. I like it but don’t know when it’ll be brought here. It has 6 small drawers and a stool. It’s white with speckles and is rather old, but not totally dumpy. It’ll be great for makeup, and I do intend to fix it up.

We changed Piggy’s cage today.

I’ve also got about 6-7 Nintendo games for Tammy and others that I’ll mail with the crayon cans I made. We’ll still put together a disk of games at some point.

Later…

Andy will be here anytime between 9 PM - 1 AM. He leaves tomorrow and he’ll be back on the 29th. He’s going to give me tapes to tape his soaps on. I also have things to show him, like new wall art and clothes. I’ll give him the 16 or so no-postage-necessary envelopes I have, too. I was going to mail him his Chanukah card, but I may as well give it to him tonight.

I got a letter from Bob today.

We went to Christown Mall earlier where I got two new lotion fragrances at Potions & Lotions. I got China Musk and April Rain. I also got some Chinese food.

Now, you’ll never believe who called me about coming to see us Wednesday. Goldie and Al! I’m so psyched! Apparently, they’re out visiting Al’s sister in Sun City. They’re also taking a couple of months as a vacation. They stopped to see someone in Las Cruces, New Mexico, have an apartment in Vegas, but still has a house in Milford, MA.

She said she was thrilled to “hear” about my ear, can’t wait to hug me, meet Tom, and talk with us. She’ll be calling at 5:30 Wednesday and I’m really looking forward to seeing them. So is Tom.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 1994 I’m not quite ready to go to bed yet, so I just thought I’d write up on some of the things we’ve got planned during his days off. We’re going to go over to his sister Mary’s house to check out a vanity table she has sometime soon. We’re going to change Piggy’s cage. We’re going to put together that disk of games to send to Tammy and go to the post office to mail off everyone’s presents.

At some point, maybe Monday, Andy will be stopping over. I have some things to show him and he’s got to give me tapes so I can tape his soaps.

Tom’s going to go food shopping very early in the morning before I get up.

The other day I got a booklet in the mail with perfume samples. You know, the kind you peel open and rub onto yourself. Instead of rubbing it on me, to spare my allergies, I rubbed it on a few book covers. The back of this one, the next one, and a few old ones.

In about a month or a month and a half, it’ll be time to go journal shopping once again. Tom said he always figured that someday he’d read my journals, that it was bound to happen. No way! What an embarrassing thought. After I’m dead is one thing, but not while I’m alive.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 1994 I finished typing up computer notes and tips from Tom’s computer magazines. I use different names for different documents. I’ve already used Norah, Kate, Farrah and Jaclyn. Next, I’ll use Linda, Gloria, and other people I like, then maybe names in our families. You can only use up to 8 characters, so Nickolena will have to be Nicolena. Here are some of the names I’ll use for future documents. Gloria, Linda, Maria, Lamaris, Shauna, Saundra, Lisa, Becky, Sarah, Tammy, Bill, Larry, Arthur, Dureen, Nicolena, Ray, Evie, Marjorie, David and Steven.

Later…

In a little while I’m going to go watch some shows I taped. I asked Tom to circle the page number in the index of magazines he wants to be typed and he did so in about 8 magazines. I have my work cut out for me, but I don’t mind and it’s fun. There’s going to be a total of 25 files and so far, I’ve already done 2. He picked out 5 more names, Mary, Wendy, Diane, Eileen and Lolita. I did Gloria and Bill and now I’m working on Marjorie. Bill, Marjorie and Saundra were all 1 page, but all the others are 2 to 3 and there’ll be an occasional 4.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 1994 I got my parents' package today. It was a huge one. Ma wrapped my birthday presents in flowered paper, my Chanukah presents in Chanukah paper and Tom’s Christmas presents in Christmas paper.

It was funny to see we sent each other the same Chanukah cards. I mailed out theirs and Tammy’s today.

Tom got a Phoenix Sun cap. He’s got a matching sweatshirt from his parents to go with it. Soap, deodorant, and cologne for Tom. He also got this really cool thing that’s in the shape of a ball, filled with liquid with a boat in it and a clock. We both got matching blue mugs, but of course, he doesn’t drink coffee or tea, but he sometimes drinks hot chocolate. There was a cookbook, chocolate candies, orange jellybeans, 2 rose candles, and a menorah with candles to go with it. A picture of a girl that looks great hung over the girl I drew in my wall mural and 2 calendar booklets for 1995. A thing you hang in the kitchen that’s hard to describe. It looks like beans and corn and stuff like that. A window-clinger, not a sticker, of a menorah, and dreidels. I stuck those in the garage door where only we can see them. There are too many hate groups out there. Three small magnetic picture frames. All my niece’s pictures were too big, so Gloria’s living in them. Two palm-sized balls with bells in them. They’re really pretty too, with gold and other colors with panda bears. Three skirts that fit perfectly. They’re just below the knee, but sexy and sophisticated. They’re all solid colors of peach, white and black. Another one of those skort outfits that’s flowered. The thing’s humongous on me, so I’ll have to shrink it and wear a tank top under it. A 50-inch windsock of a cow that even has a little cowbell on it that I put on the end of the clothesline. On the other end of the clothesline, I put the bird feeder with the bunny in it. A wind chime of a cat and 3 hearts. I put that on the patio.

It’s nice to be able to have a big, private yard to use these things.

Lastly, a drawing I did that was put on a plate when I was maybe in the 1st grade. Gross! Tom says it’s a wonderful keepsake. Ma said that, too. She enclosed a note saying it was a wonderful keepsake she enjoyed for years, but now it’s for me.

I just typed them a letter and that’s all for now. Now, I’m going to go watch TV and Andy will probably call at some point.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 1994 Soon, I’ll be going to bed. I just thought I’d quickly update on stuff first. Today I finished typing 23. I took Norah’s story and combined it with my journals, so counting that, I have 36 typed up that total 356 pages.

Yesterday when we screwed around, we didn’t use a rubber. Tom feels that at some point in ‘95 I’ll be pregnant. Sounds nice, despite my fears and doubts about it, and I hope that we’re both about to make one if you know what I mean.

I called Dad today and he asked how Tom and Andy are and said they don’t sell live animals. They’re flags with all kinds of animals on them as well as states and other countries.

Just as we were hanging up, Ma came in with groceries and she asked what their Chanukah present was. I said I’ll tell her if she tells me what’s in the package that oughta arrive tomorrow. She wouldn’t tell, so I wouldn’t tell.

Tom asked me questions earlier about Chanukah and his mom asked which one we celebrate. None with no kids. That’s something you live up more when there are kids. If we have a kid, we’ll acknowledge both.

His parents have a birthday tradition where they send each kid and their kid’s spouse a check for how old they are. Last June 28th Tom got a check for $37. He said she asked if I’d be offended if she wrote the check out to me for $25, even though I’m turning 22. She was shocked to see that I’m turning 29.

Wow. Even though I’ve been keeping journals for 7 years, when I turn 29, that’s 9 different ages I wrote during. During 21-29, but never much during 21 since I started writing at the end of October.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 1994 Tom’s home now and he’s talking to his sister Mary who had a computer question.

I never heard from Andy last night, so who knows what he’s up to?

I did a lot of journal typing today and I’m in the hospital now with only 13 days to go till I arrive in Phoenix!

Speaking of hospitals, it’s been one year since my last attack! After that 2½-year reign of terror I went through back east till I got here, I’ve had only about 5 bad attacks in the 2½ years I’ve been here.

I still have some crayons left over, so I may use them to make another picture frame unless I think of something else.

Only 19 more days left till surgery. The time oughta fly by now.

Well, Kim has gone back home today. I assume she’s already there. If not, she’s on her way.

I still haven’t mailed Bob’s letter out yet, but I’ll be sure to say so when I do.

Of course, I haven’t heard from Mark, and I know he could be busy, it’s only been since last Friday or Saturday since he got my letter, but I don’t know. Maybe he will surprise me like Minnie did. When I do send Bob his nasty letter and he tells Minnie and maybe others about it, I’m sure she’ll call all about it.

No package yet from my parents. Maybe tomorrow.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 1994 I still have lots to tell, so now’s as good a time as any. Remember the arts & crafts book Andy sent me under a bogus name? Well, I’m so very glad he sent it. Using an empty coffee can that is rectangular, I glued on a poster board around its sides. Then, I took 41 regular-size crayons and glued them around their sides. It was a perfect fit and it looks soooo cool. I glued on all the crayons so you could see the names of their colors.

I made 2 for us. One’s in my room and one’s out back by the computer. Then, I made 6 more for these people: Andy, my parents, Tammy & Bill, Lisa, Becky and Sarah. I’ll send them out as Chanukah presents, but Andy’s will be for his b-day. I also made a little crayon frame, by gluing crayons on a poster board, with Piggle’s picture in the center of it. He’s been here a year today.

I finally got new mascara and this stuff’s the best ever.

Got a letter from Bob today and when I return, I’ve got some wild stuff to write about him.

I probably won’t return any letters I get from Alex or Minnie, even though Tom said, “I hope you wrote her back,” after I got Minnie’s first letter. In fact, I’m not even going to tell him about the letter I’ll be sending Bob for a couple of reasons. Cuz I don’t want him to feel guilty or think something’s wrong with me that’s making me do this. This is my decision and my decision alone.

Assuming Mark’s like most people, he’ll never do what I politely asked him to do. Either way, I’m doing what I’ve been wanting to do for years, with Tom and Andy as an exception. That is to dump people. Believe it or not, this is easier for me to do now that I’ve got a life and my shit together. Cuz now I’m not as lonely and as desperate and can think and choose my words more rationally.

I copied the letter I typed up into 7. I don’t know when I’ll send it, as I kind of want to wait till I get enough letters to finish off the remaining 42 pages or so.

Anyway, it’s pretty nasty and cruel and I’m sure Kim and others will get an earful with several letters. I’m sure it’ll make him feel pretty miserable in the head and physically, but tough shit. The short letter basically says I found out he was convicted twice before for sex crimes, he can drop dead, his problems are all his fault, and that if he ever comes here I’ll kick his ass right back there.

Tom and his parents are at the racetrack now. I hope he makes some money.

Andy may be over later on.

Later…

Tom’s home now but he didn’t win any money.

Hurricane Gordon hit Florida, but Mom and Dad are OK.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 1994 I have lots and lots of updating to do. I don’t remember if I mentioned this, although I must’ve. When we got our new camcorder, we also got some free gifts. There were 3 little puzzles, but they were all white, so you could write your own messages, break them up and send them to people to put together. They were a little bigger than postcards and they give you envelopes to go with them.

I sent one to Andy, one to my parents and one to Tammy and everyone there.

Andy returned the $20 he borrowed last night by slipping it in the mail slot.

I finished the wall mural in the living room. I drew a bird on a cactus, two palm trees with a hammock strung from both trees and a little girl sitting on it reading a book. Tom says the little girl looks like Barbara Streisand, but I don’t see it.

Last Saturday when we screwed around, we used a rubber for the sake of making sure nothing gets in the way of my surgery. I thought with that peace of mind, with or without surgery, he’d cum, but he didn’t. He said after the surgery we won’t use rubbers. I don’t think we’ll ever have to worry. If we ever do try to have a kid we’ll have to hope that his pre-cum is enough to get the job done. I also still believe in meant to be/not meant to be, so we’ll see.

I haven’t spoken to Kim since she left that message the other day and if she’s tried calling when no one was around to answer, I don’t know.

I got a letter from Bob yesterday and still don’t know when and if I’ll be dumping him. I’ll give it a little more time and see if I hear from Mark. I doubt I will, though, as most people don’t do favors for those they didn’t really know for too long and weren’t great friends with.

Today I got a letter and a birthday card from Alex. I threw the card out right in front of Tom. Why not dump him too? What’s the point? I do like to get letters, though, but we’ll see.

I still have a lot to write about, but I’m taking a break now.

Later…

Tammy left a message and I called her back. They admitted Bill into Bakus Hospital in Norwich. They say he may either have pneumonia or both that and cancer. She’ll keep me posted.

Today we went to play miniature golf. It was a lot of fun.

I’ve done a lot of shopping, too. I got two of the pens I’m writing with, these stickers that came in a package of several things, all in the style of ballerina bunnies. I got a pink glitter ruler with shapes for tracing. Three erasers in the shape of musical notes. One purple, pink and green. A notepad with the bunny sticker like on the next page on its cover. Identical stationery (8 sheets) and 4 envelopes in yellow, purple, pink and blue.

I got reinforcing rings for papers that go in binders. You stick them around the punched-out holes of papers that go in 3-ring binders to make them stronger. I got through to almost the end of journal 2 with them, then stuck the centers of the holes on the back of those envelopes for decoration. They’re really cool looking, with different colors that glitter.

I got thigh cream that you put on before you go to bed for $14. It’s supposed to reduce craters.

I got Chanukah cards for my parents, Tammy and her family, and Andy.

Today we filmed Piggles with the camcorder, then ran it through the video kit, as we do with Norah’s and printed out a few pictures. One’s in the back of this book on the very last page. We had a certain reason for it when we printed Piggle’s picture out, but I’ll explain it later.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 1994 I got up at 2 AM and surprisingly there was a message from Kim that she left at 6:00 last night. To make things easier, I was kind of hoping she wouldn’t call. She said she’ll try calling back. I don’t mind talking to her on the phone, but I don’t want to see her.

Anyway, Tom awoke in a great mood a couple of hours ago. He just left for work for an hour and will be going back in for an hour this afternoon. In the meantime, they’re still going to pay him for a half day’s work at time and a half.

Tomorrow he may be in for most of the day.

Later…

I was starving so I made a TV dinner.

My waist is down to 24.5” so that’s good.

Right now I’m going to go work on the computer.

Later…

I just began an outline of a palm tree. On the living room wall where there are just the small table and coat rack, I want to do a huge wall mural of palm trees. I went outside and studied the palm trees out there to try to get it as realistic as possible. I’m going to wait until Tom gets back. With him being from here, he can give me the best advice and opinions.

God’s going to pay me back real good, no doubt, haha. This is because I woke up Tammy and my parents. I forgot there’s no school today and my parents don’t usually get up till 8:30 - 9:00.

Dad said that today he’s sending out a Chanukah package by UPS and asked when Tom’s birthday was.

Now I think I’ll go get something else to eat.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 1994 I got about 20 of the above labels from some charity thing in the mail, so I use them as date separators. I wish they were the peel-and-stick kind, though.

Quite a bit has gone on over the last couple of days. Tom and I have had several talks. Once again the visit with Kim is off and as much as Tom always says, “You make your own choices. I’m not your daddy,” it’s something I chose to do for two reasons. One, cuz I believe in fairness and I know Tom wouldn’t do anything to make me feel uncomfortable. Two, cuz why not? It was no big deal for her to leave me all alone cooped up in that apartment in Deerfield all the time. I also don’t feel like I’m losing anything. Just her letters here and there. If it were Andy, my parents, Larry or Tammy, he’d have no problem and I know that for sure. He just never got over her waking him up when she was last here, even though he understands it wasn’t deliberate. Some people never get over or forget things. I’ll never get over or forget lots of shit either.

This morning we were in great moods, talking about all kinds of things; he thinks she’s coming today. I never did mention the message I left on her machine yesterday (her plane should be landing right now) saying it was time I level with her about why we both had a problem with her coming here and that all I could deal with is letters and phone calls. I also told her that if she didn’t want to remain friends anymore through the mail or by the phone, I’d understand and that I won’t call or write her unless she does.

As for Bob’s letters that I was going to give her, I guess they’re all going in no-postage-necessary envelopes for Andy to mail out. That is after I “delete” any traceable names.

I also sent a letter to Mark (Kim’s ex) asking if he can let me know if Bob’s been in jail before for the same thing he’s in for now. Tom mentioned that possibility, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to see if I can come up with anything. For a while, I’ll be his pen pal, although his letters have slowed down. I’ll definitely give him the ax if I do hear any negative news from Mark, but I also might cuz he’s getting so boring. He’s just old news with the same old shit. All I really ever want for a friend is Andy.

Andy came and borrowed $20 one day when I was asleep and is so much happier at this new place and with being able to sleep late.

Later…

Tom had been telling me this last month that he was going to get me a present for me at work. Something someone was selling, I guess. I got it yesterday. They’re 8 folding postcards with flower stickers to seal them. The part you write on is all white and about the length of this page. 4 of the backs were green and white stripes and the other 4 were peach and white. I sent the peach ones to Andy, Lisa, Becky, and Sarah. I sent the green ones to Tammy, Bill, Mom & Dad, Bob, and Tom.

He also brought home a box of peanut butter cups and a box of mints that he got from Wendy’s daughter.

In other news, I work on continuous typing stuff for Tom. Stuff from magazines.

I’ve begun typing 23, the last New England journal. This one won’t be done as fast as 20-22 whereas it’s bigger and there are fewer charts, lyrics, etc. Wait till I get to 76. That one will probably be the longest.

Yesterday, all by myself while Tom was working, I printed out some pictures with no problems at all. They look really nice and tomorrow I may do more and hope I have the same luck as yesterday.

The exercising I’ve been doing very regularly has been showing and I’ve been weighing 99 pounds. I hope it lasts.

The back room looks better than it ever has. It’s really neat and organized.

I may or may not have mentioned that my folks sent us a brochure of their flea market. I didn’t realize it was such a mob scene. Also, they sold fish, birds and animals, as their personal business card said.

I’m glad Kim hasn’t called. She’s probably too pissed off to as she said she was going to call at noon before I left the message yesterday afternoon. It gets funnier, the more I think about it. There were so many times I wanted to give her what she gave me for abandoning me in Deerfield. The only nice thing I’ll remember is the financial help, the stuff she bought or gave me and her letters.

If I do ax Bob, and if I’m still writing to Minnie at that time, I’ll simply tell her the truth, but that she’s got to do what she’s gotta do.

What will I tell my family and Andy about Kim’s not coming? She just changed jobs and her mom’s sick. The truth is none of their business and I don’t want to discuss it over and over with so many people. Or to have them think that Tom made me do this. No one tells me what to do. It was my choice.

Alone or married, I’m more and more turned off by the idea of Bob coming out here once he’s released. He’s old news with the same old shit. My gut feeling tells me he may very well not live long enough to see freedom anyway.

Later…

I feel bad for Tom as he busted his ass doing the backyard and the patio cuz of Kim. It needed to be done, but he wouldn’t have had to do it all at once if we’d known I was going to call off her visit.

Anyway, I’m getting kind of tired so I’m going to go take my meds and lay down. I’ll be falling asleep real soon.

Cigna called. Gotta go for blood work and an EKG on December 1st between 8 AM - 4 PM.

I believe on the 24th we’re going to Dave and Evie’s for a Thanksgiving dinner.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 1994 Not too much has gone on since I last wrote. We played around with the picture-printing program and just bummed around the place.

Andy left a message for Tom to borrow $20 if that was possible. He’s still in training and isn’t getting tips yet. As I was going to bed, he said he’d check the account and see if it was available.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 1994 I know I’ve been a bit sluggish with my writing lately, but I sure do have lots to tell. Amazingly enough, I’ve typed up journals 20, 21, and 22 in less than a week. Now I’ve only got one more east coast journal to do. That one will take a little longer cuz it’s bigger with fewer pages with letters, charts, lyrics, etc.

Here are the journal numbers I’ve typed up that total 300 pages. There are 34 altogether that I’ve typed: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 38, 39, 40, 41, 49, 51, 52, 53, 60, 62, 63, 77.

I typed up 61, which is a story. Here are the ones I will be typing up: 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 36, 37, 42, 43, 50, 55, 56, 58, 59, 64, 66, 67, 68, 69, 76, 78, 80, etc.

Here are the ones I won’t be typing up cuz they’re all letters or whatever: 23, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 54, 57, 65, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, and 75.

Later…

We all know I have a bad habit of doing things before I think about them, right? Well, last night I did something that I guess you could say was stupid. As Kim’s visit’s getting closer, I’ve been a little more anxious. As I’ve said before, though, Tom told me that I’m an adult, can and should make my own decisions, trusts my judgment, and that all married couples don’t always agree. This is very true, but instead, I called Kim and told her I couldn’t see her. After nearly 24 hours of thinking about it, I realized that disagreeing is one thing, and fighting about it is another. I believe we’re better than that now, neither of us wants to fight and we’ve gotten to know each other well enough to know we’d never set out to hurt one another. I’ll call her in a while and tell her how I took my anxiety out on her and am sorry for it and hope she can still see me.

Later…

I called and talked to Kim who understood that with her visit and the surgery, I panicked. She will be staying overnight at those people’s house, knows my schedule will be off and that I want to do only local stuff. She was on her way out and couldn’t talk too long, but said she saw Bob. She said he shaved his beard and mustache off and actually looked pretty good. Yes, she got the article from Minnie and couldn’t believe it, saying she felt like she was reading about a totally different person. When we see each other, she’ll fill me in more. On the 10th, she’ll be calling me from that house at about 11 AM.

Tom made some changes with the picture-printing program, so I think I’ll go see if I can whip up some fairly decent pictures.

Later…

Tom got up about an hour ago. I printed out some pictures and I intend to do more. Then we ate and played with Piggy.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 1994 I just finished those 75 tips for Windows & DOS and am now printing them out.

Can you believe that two nights ago I typed up almost two journals? I decided to give it a try by typing up 20, one of the 4 NHA journals, telling myself I could stop if I needed or wanted to. I got through it OK and there were only 80 out of the 130 pages to type. I was so bored most of the time that I’d copy in charts, letters, and convos from tapes. Any stuff like that in any of my journals, I don’t bother typing. I had almost finished with 21, which had the same number of pages when I got all this garbage as I got a couple of times before. All these symbols and shit like that. Tom and I managed to save the bulk of it, but I had to retype some stuff. To get it out of the way before more trouble happened, I left out a few pages of trivial shit, like what I ate, what I was wearing, what shows I watched, etc. I can still swear that something doesn’t want me typing these journals. When I work on stuff for Tom, there’s never a problem. However, I have a mind of my own and am now working on 22.

Got a letter from Bob the other day and today we got an invitation to go to a housewarming party at Jackie’s. If I remember correctly, Jackie’s Tom’s aunt. I won’t be awake to go, and I don’t know if he’s going.

When I got up, I was sneezing pretty badly for a couple of hours. I even thought I had a cold. Andy’s over his cold and has had his third day of training at the new place. He’s happy so far.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 1994 We went to the fair Wednesday for two hours. It was lots of fun. A lot like the Big E. They even had that same yellow wavy slide. I got cotton candy and we both got ice cream. We went on the ski lift and the Ferris wheel.

For only $12 I got a lavender crepe skirt with a matching top. The top has white lace trim with a tiny purple satin ribbon in front, but it slides down really easily, and Tom says his mom won’t mind putting straps on it.

In a few months when the county fair comes, we’ll have to do the things we didn’t get to do this time around, like play games, go on the big yellow slide, go in the funhouse, and get me a caramel candy apple. I forgot to get one on my way out.

When we came home, we ordered a camcorder through Fingerhut that was over $1,000. I can’t wait, though, and it’ll arrive in about a week. Can’t wait to send videos of all kinds of things to my parents and Tammy and everyone. I’ll write more about it when we get it.

Got a letter from Minnie today. I wrote her back as well as Alex, Bob, and Kim. Yesterday I wrote to my parents, Tammy and Bill, and also stuck in a letter for my nieces. Did I mention that I typed a letter to Larry? Well, I did. He should get it Fri. or Sat.

Earlier I talked to Andy who’s got a cold and hasn’t started work yet due to it.

I printed out all 33 pages of 19 and now I’m going to go work on those Windows & DOS tips for Tom.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 1994 Now I shall begin in journal 80, as 79 is all filled up with letters. Soon after I start 80, I’ll be listening to music, then crashing. I’m really looking forward to tomorrow. I’m sure it’ll be lots of fun. Tomorrow, I may very well also finish typing up 19, then I’ll decide what to do from there. My movie should start recording soon.

Well, bye-bye for now, as I’m going to go start journal 80. After I finish 80, I’ll probably head to 81 as I really doubt I’ll be finishing that subindex as I mentioned before.

Later…

Wow! I can’t believe I’m already starting my 80th journal. This pen is going to die on me any time now and I really don’t have a whole lot to write about. I got all caught up in my previous book. Cuz we’re going to the fair tomorrow, I’m sure there’ll be lots to tell then.

I hope I get some mail tomorrow, too.

Anyway, I’m going to go and play me some tunes now, then make coffee and conk out. Tom will be waking up tomorrow at 10:30 unless I get up earlier.

Larry mentioned calling Tammy, but I forgot to ask her if he mentioned going to see her if possible since he will be working locally.

Did I remember to shut the computer off? Yeah, I’m sure I did, but I’ll double-check it when I get my lazy ass up and off this bed.

I still have to have Tom show me how to print envelopes, and maybe we can check out the possibilities of my editing on the computer. He said it’s not hard to do, but it’s very different than anything I’m used to.

Well, that’s all for now as I’m getting very tired and my hand’s killing me. I’ll write tomorrow evening.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 1994 I only copied 4 of the 12 songs on Gloria’s new CD. I also noticed an address for a fan club, so I requested information about it.

I just typed Larry and everyone else there a 2-page letter with all kinds of fonts.

Instead of going to the racetrack today, we’re going to go alone sometime, so I don’t have to be there for hours. I hope he wins money for the fair.

Andy got a job at a place called Caro’s if I spelled it right. He’ll be working the dinner hours, so we’ll no doubt see more of each other.

Later…

Tom didn’t win any money at the tracks today, but oh well. He took his parents there and they gave Tom a T-shirt, a buttonhole maker, and a really neat craft. It’s a crushed can with a face painted on it. It’s hard to describe, but it’s quite clever.

I spoke to Andy too, who’s psyched to start his new job.

After Tom came home, we ate, then fooled around. We also were both in the back room each working on a computer. He showed me how to change the colors of the Window’s title bar.

Can you believe I’ve only got about 40-something pages left of 19? After I finish typing 19, the next 4 will be my nightmare in the NHA. I’m deciding on whether or not I should skip them, or get them the hell over with. Tom said if he were me, he’d skip them. We’ll wait and see how I feel later.

No mail for me today. I haven’t been getting as much, but soon I’ll type letters to my parents, Kim and Bob. One last one for Kim till she gets here. I’ll have to call her to see if everything’s still set and where she’ll be staying. I’m not sure where she’ll be staying overnight.

Today I got some information from Tammy all about her computer. Yup, it is a piece of shit. Hopefully, we can send her games soon.

Later…

I just ate, watched a little TV, and left Andy a good luck message. I may not talk to him before he starts work at the new place.

Tom’s going to wake me up tomorrow at 10:30 and we probably won’t be back here till sometime late afternoon.

I’m glad I haven’t gotten around to typing anyone’s letters yet, as this way, I’ll have more to tell them.

For the fun of it, I’d really like to see a psychic and I hope they’re not too expensive. I also hope they’re better than the 900# psychics. They’re certainly quacks.

Let’s see… what kinds of questions shall I ask if I see one? Perhaps stuff like, will our marriage last forever? Will we have a kid? Will we have a successful business? Will we move and when? Will I be a singer and if so, how well-known will I be? Will I ever quit smoking forever?

Speaking of singing, I really got into it a while when Tom and I were in the back room.

[the-firebird69]

Her Majesty (Remastered 2009)

He wants to put a replica of one of the abbeys and is about everybody fighting to trying to send I think it's a good idea it's going to be on Abbey road in New Vegas but it's going to have her full name and they might be another road Abby road design input it's after her and she was saying it and it's a great idea. Las Vegas is kind of a dumb cuz you can't get there you can't get to the casinos it takes too much effort and you're walking and walking and visit maybe 20 ways to get across and there's ways to take tunnels and a seven or more or so Cross roads from the express lane in the middle it sounds like enough. Cuz in the strip is like roadways and parking lots and park and ride it's probably the way to go and there's two strips he's thinking about an outdoor people mover or a tunnel that's top side it's like a corridor safety glass and you could get on and off just like the airport or you can walk through it and then Clement weather. Now you don't have to have security and to make that happen is going to have scooters to rent we can buy drinks and food newspapers having a shoe shine anybody outdoors with the carts too. And the wall is like a shrine and it's for her input and she would decide where it would go and how big it would be or they said they would get together on it it would have to be a certain casino of course it might even be ours and now she's excited about it. And she's from Ben Arnold's side and she looks like our son's great grandma. So people are wondering and yeah she's still around and may have been the one with a knife at the bowling alley and she has a good ideas and she helped with the lawn mower that's what worked and they work together and stuff so now Abby wants to and she's made a name for himself and her mom is actually pink and it's been Arnold's wife and not his sister. And yeah they'll look almost identical great grandma and her so she's going to have to have the same thing and be immortalized for the idea and it's the minis. They both have odd names she's pretty big almost 9 ft really that's why she's chunky. Do you have a street name is a very big input and there's an area that has these cars these minis in Britain like a block, with several mini dealerships and we're going to offer her one and she'll probably accept it Jesus and a casino opportunity just dropping chips on himself and she says the moulin rouge and now that was what he was saying. Aren't you says nothing rude so she has to come up with it and he thinks the women were going to have something and Hera is in on it and Abby is now in on it thank you casinos yeah somehow attached to a shopping area there's a lot of women's necessities in upscale items a Gucci bags Paris Hilton makeup decenza diamonds and so they get that. They like certain cars too but they would be elsewhere but you can put one in the lotus esprit and cars like that high performance mini the jazzed up mustang certain Ferraris and then we put them in there any requested dealer and the dealer would have to make a deal cuz they be selling cars.

We're going to put this in print in preliminary agreements and pink has an idea additional to the dealership. You make a lot made for minis and he didn't wait till she finished and it says sub contact and it's true never a real small cars and need to put a rental place there for rent minis and renting mini homes and cottages and also he says about time people are using the cooler it's not supposed to be warm inside a morgue and it's true. It's on the TV show NCIS San Diego and also they'll be sales of tiny homes and mini homes mobile homes we might try his relocatable homes and they're laughing and have like a showroom with all this mini stuff in it but the sales place would be down the road and it would show what they have all sorts of stuff trailers campers attachments accessories doodads upgrades travel carriers sticker kits anything to think of they're going to put this up and they're thinking of a casino for each of them I don't know maybe we should do it as a consortium and do the jewelry accessories necessities and a spa and our son said the last part

Thor Freya

We like these ideas they like to go to places like that and buy our ladies things I need to be the most likely hanging around with us cuz he be forced to. Trying to start my ideas and one of them is to head up Big Joe's pancake House and have the big cup of joe coffee brand and everything and Mac wants to help so I get that

Big Joe I think the ideas are wondrous and we should pray

That's terrific and we should

Pink

Olympus