#idk. this isnt to say its wrong to do this! you do you! i dont make the rules | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rolandkaros · 4 months ago

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need to be so clear this is not a joke this is not sarcasm blah blah blah NO. i really dont give a fuck is qinwen actually is unpleasant or unlikable in the locker room. we get constant "access" to these people, where they are expected to be more than just tennis players but must also be public personalities, role models, marketing angels..........like i really dont give a fuck if a player decides they dont want to constantly have to cater to other people......the people in the locker room are literally your competition there isnt anything in the job description of "tennis player" that says you have to be nice to them.

#like. is it fun when players do get along? absolutely!#but im not going to sit here and expect them to always be nice and friendly and welcoming. like come on #its a competitive sport! its not always nice and friendly and welcoming!#i guess i just think its maybe a bit dangerous to say 'oh well obviously these players have it wrong and qinwen is just focused on herself'#because if it turns out that she genuinely isnt friendly in the locker room then you have to reconcile that with the previous narrative #does that make sense?#idk if it does. but my point is i really dont care if she's unfriendly #crazy thing to me as well is like. if i sense that someone doesnt like me or that we arent getting along. i just tend to ignore them!#like ok you sit in that corner and i'll sit in this one and we can co-exist doing our own thing without getting into conflict #and it really is quite easy to do this! shocker! you dont have to rise to every person you dont like!#anyways. lol

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funkily · 9 months ago

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i think traffic scott has crazy issues with his sense of self . i cant defend this at the moment but i feel it in my heart and also depending on how u look at his character i think there is canon backing

#which isnt to say self-worth issues by the way #i dont . hm #i dont know how i feel about scotts level of insecurity #but i do think hes draped himself in so many layers of lover/victim/hero/bestie/martyr etc that he wouldnt have a grasp on who he is without #labels like that and the behaviors they induce #i do think hes a catty gay guy . at heart . but i think even the way thats displayed is like . a front in a way ?#like . ok . listen to me #its like paint #scott his actual true self is blue . and then hes covered in so many coats of paint (the roles he assumes) of various different colors #and then you finish it off with another coat of blue . and its a different shade #but the base color is so far down that no one will really notice #CAN ANYONE HEAR ME . HE FINDS COMFORT IN THE BOXES HE PUTS HIMSELF IN AND IF YOU TOOK THOSE AWAY HE MAY CRUMBLE #maybe this is wrong . idk . insert everything i say about smajor is wrong because im smajor blinkie here #babbleeng

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tvlandofficiall · 5 months ago

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you'll have to forgive me for the slight bluntness because it is 5am and i have not slept at all but. i feel like sometimes the knight is treated like the only part of deltarune ever. and this has made me a little bit disillusioned to being all that interested in them.

#ooc #deltarune #i feel like the pasts and relationships of the darkners are just way more compelling #but even dynamics like susie&lancer or kris&ralsei have a lot more going on #idk. this isnt to say its wrong to do this! you do you! i dont make the rules #just me feelings. my onion. ect

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perilegs · 3 months ago

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i'm trying to watch a trans guy critique some video game trans rep bc i'm interested in hearing more trans ppl talk about it. but he's very. i'm paraphrasing here but "why would anyone ever in a million years want their rpg character to have top surgery scars. isnt that a constant reminder to you and everyone around you about how you were born" and "you don't work on transitioning. you just need hormone treatment and possibly some--"

#i get that some trans men need to fight themselves and everyone around them to feel ''man enough'' in like a semi toxic masculinity way #but its kinda tiring to hear ngl. im sorry you feel that way and i know not having been born cis sucks and i understand your emotions but d #you have to make them my problem. like idk i feel like my transition DID take work and #personally for me my top surgery scars are a positive reminder of how far ive gotten #when i pay them any attention. which is not very often #man im just existing not analyzing every part of my body at all times #yknow. some ppl sound like they watched a bit too much of a certain youtuber who was rancid about other trans men and talked about stuff li #like how theres a mens and womens way to flip your middle finger and stuff.#sight thats so besides the point #anyways i am open to hearing opinions that differ from mine and i want to do that but some people you just dont vibe with #leevi talks #obvs no hate to this creator btw. he speaks about stuff very well but some little word choices here and there rub me the wrong way #and he has good points so far i am intrigued of what he has to say i just needed a break to bitch so i can continue #edit: no this video isnt even good. like i dont agree with bioware but he sounds like hes just on purpose misunderstanding everything #so he has more stuff to get mad about for his video #is it ragebait

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lemongogo · 1 month ago

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need 2 find myself again in 2025 . tbhwu

#depression has hollowed me out in2 a shell of my former self #and i thmk i need 2 grit my teeth and just get over It whatever It is #recognizing its no easy task but also knowing i cant keep on like this #and allowing myself to spiral into misery thereby preventing any possible change or growth #sigh …. sogh .. i want 2 be a person again . picture friends circa 2008 outlining me in chalk. i want 2 know theres something there #how u ask (me asking myself)#idk but one way or anotjer . and not in that new yrs resolution fallacy way #anyways . anyways z . crazy how a week off from work will leave u feeling real again #i gotta get out of there . step 1😭🙏🙏#its especially hard when everyone arnd you is objectively doing better. partners finances purpose . >staring in2 the camera 1000 yd stare #u get thru the beast of being a teenager like thank god thats over and then b4 you even catch ur breath #your mid 20s are casting a shadow over u like some menacing thing and u have to gulp and say hes right behind me isnt he #i think people often like to give the advice that youll figure it out but it leaves me feeling so disquieted #bc its like sure im sure i will ive made it this far i can do what i need to get by when the moment matters #but it does nothing to assauge the immediate anxiety and feelings of worthlessness and lack of direction yk #goddmanit assuage i spelled it wrong everyone point and laugh #bc its like what if i dont and i mean that in a very like . existential & not material way . idk what im saying but i think thats the advice #i hate most . not sure if u have felt or do feel the same . -__- like yes oersonal experience sure whatever happens will happen and you will #simply adjust but will i ever feel like its something i want to experience/endure .#whatever anyways x2. im journalling i think that helps me the best rn . and its the one thing thats allowed me hope and i think #having that time to examine and mull over and deconstruct is rly helpful tbh. and i would like to think #over the long term i can repair my creativity and cultivate a new outlet that doesnt leave me feeling empty if i cant draw as i used to #yaar #i feel like i dont write for very long tho thats the one thing that kinda blows #two pages maybe and ive only addressed two maybe three points if im being generous lol i get so bored with the actual motion #when my mind moves 10x as fast . and idc for audio logs either ykwim.#ohh tumblr how i love u . tag system like no other

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coulson-is-an-avenger · 2 months ago

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yall ever see a fan take so racist you have to leave the app

#just saw someone say its homophobic that jayvik didnt kiss.#im sorry. jayce ABANDONS MEL. THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE. WHOM HE IS DEVOTED BODY AND SOUL TO. FOR THIS WHITE TWINK.#AND YALLS PROBLEM ISNT THE SIDELINING OF A BLACK WOMAN BUT INSTEAD HOMOPHOBIA THAT THE MEN DIDNT KISS?? what the fuck is wrong with you #i havent seen the finale yet but im. i dont have words. could you at least Act like you see Black people as human. as worthwhile.#every Black arcane fan im so fucking sorry yall have to see this shit all the time jesus christ #i am Tipsy i am doing Crafts and i am going to start hunting twinks for sport #mossy speaks #delete later #'its homophobic and a bad sign for future mlm rep' WHAT ABOUT THE SIGNS FOR FUTURE BLACK WOMEN REP HUH? WHAT ABOUT HER? WHAT THE FUCK?#unbelievably take from all angles. jesus fucking christ #arcane spoilers #i think idk who gives a fuck #also for anyone who wants to try it im a cane user ok. none of yall care abt viktor being disabled but in case u want to care about it today #dont. what happened with jayvik sidelining mel isnt about us disabled folks its just not.

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meowsticmarvels · 7 months ago

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once again another repost from my twt

bc i keep doing that for some reason. anyways some radar thoughts 2nite he is normal and has no problems

#i also didnt mention this but another thing i wanted to mention abt me seeing radar as autistic is i skimmed through the transcripts #and him being incredibly close to lluna and defending her like “don't hurt her feelings!” if you take her and leave nurm #bc jack takes it out on lluna and radars like Do not.#just think its an interesting moment of characterization. dont blame jack for that either though his villager husband is in a cage but also #like its just interesting to see how some of these characters tick. idk #another thing:#could you imagine if mcsm had multiple endnigs like aitsf/ze. god #ok but to my original point: a lot of characterizations of him arent like. wrong. tjhis isnt me being like wow im better than everyone else #its technically right. and is fair and valid #as long as youre not being weird and infantalizing abt it #but im just noticing how funny the contrast is. the radar in my head is so different i need to conjure up the will to draw how i see him #its not rly too diff from how most ppl do its just i lean into his issues and flaws and trauma a bit more #if anyone wants me to elaborate a bit more on that last part i can (not Much more that i didnt say but just like. yeah) but this is a lot o #tags already so im gonna stop it here #mcsm #minecraft story mode #mcsm radar #radar mcsm #trevor.txt

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rouge-the-bat · 7 months ago

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something i love discussing with others is the different ways people experience kin bc its so interesting the vastness of how everyones personal experiences with it can be. i really dont get people that will be like "kin is only ever LIKE THIS! everyone else is fake!" or trying to act like people with kin past lives (or anyone that "takes kinning too seriously") are crazy. like just!!! how do yall not enjoy the vast and unique experiences of other people!! how do they not fascinate you!!! its INSANE to me

#that being said i dont interact in kin spaces very heavily after i left this one large kin discord server #while i dont miss that (drained too much energy + too many chances for drama)#(or general issues just from kin being so personal and thus discomfort when peoples canons have things that clash with others canons)#but i do kinda miss seeing more about how other people experience kin stuff #and discussing what its like for me more often #also i see sometimes people criticizing the terminology people sometimes use about kinning?#even like the term ''kinning'' bc ppl will say ''its not an action you do!''#and they treat it like people that use terms like that are the kind that kin “wrong'' and act like kin is just ''i relate to this character #but like. kin IS very important and significant for me!#i may not know the exact details of HOW i kin- like theyre not past lives for me but i still AM the characters #i have kin memories sometimes but they dont feel like past lives #n kin itself is very important to me- but trying to figure out what exactly it is if its not past lives isnt important #like idk the functionality of it i just feel it. and acknowledge the feelings. you know #and i just learned kin stuff through people who are more casual with the concept and the terminology used #n just. idk. im tired rambling.#i love how differently everyone can kin regardless of how big or small it is for them or the ways they experience it #i think we should appreciate other ppls different experiences more

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itsalwaysdark · 14 days ago

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sry for posting so much im like introspective or something

#its bc i made myself sad in my journal again -_- wtvr.#also semi related not rly at all i guess but i do applogize for talking in third person sometimes i know its annoying it genuinely is just #bc like. i have a disconnect with me and with connor and everything and i do tend to thjnk of myself as a seperate entity than like. idk #it is me i know that but when i say Connor im referring to sort of the like. concept of him i guess. and sometimes what i say applies to me #but usually its just about him you know.#but i rly try not to there was a period of time last year where my mental sort of #like. the way i thought about myself was never i or me or we it was always it. like it is going to go clean the bathroom now. it needs to #eat. recently theyve started to be more like that again but i try not to post like that bc i dont want to seem weird or something. not that #theres anything wrong Another general rule of thumb whenever i say something is weird i mean it only for me and for the absurdly long list #of attributes i as connor am supposed to have and how im supposed to be percieved but that list isnt rly realistic for anybody else and #things that r evil when i do them r generally entirely neutral or positive when other ppl do them its judt umm. this is me being #selfcentered again i guess sorry. i always make it abt me in these ... my diary is even worse its always just abt me its very selfish. but #wtvr. not in a dismissive way it is bad i need to work on not being so selfcentered i just use whatever as like a. im done thinking about #this thought or discussing it. but it does come off as sort of dismissive which isnt what i mean .#but anyways. so when i am writing a post and i almost refer to myself as It instead of inor.me i usually edit it to just say connor or him #or whatever. but only sometimes sometimes i am just talking about connor.

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bananasfosterparent · 9 months ago

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#dont mind me just havin a conversation about rpgs and mods (specifically BG3)#and the person says they don't like mods and im like thats fine! nothing wrong with that!#and then they just go off “Mods are delusions and lies and deception!! its not real!!”#like ummm idk how to break this to ya buddy but uhh #the entire video game is not real lmao #they seem weirdly attached to the idea that the creator's vision is law and anything remotely changing any detail is blasphemy #nevermind all the things Larian themselves have retconned and moved around lol #the studios themselves dont know what their own canon is sometimes #in TES Kahjiit look different in each game #the elves are drastically different between each Divinity game #idk this is just a super bizarre conversation and ngl it threw me for a loop lmao #“mods are an illusion” feels like a meme #like i get that in spirit they mean that mods can hurt the integrity of a game and oossibly change the original vision #or go against established lore #but at the same time like....who cares? the creators aren't going to be offended and block you from playing the game because ur using mods #sorry im rambling but im just so darn confused #this is a hot take i wasn't prepared to catch #like show me where the video game mods have personally attacked you lmao #and YES if youve made it this far into the tags i will tell you #this was a conversation with an anti aa person on the aa kiss mod #theyre mad because it just “supports a delusion” and “ruins the story Larian is telling”#cause ya know ...the Tav expressions are meant to godmod players so that we know AA is abusive!#it was just all very patronizing #theye like “nothing wrong with using this mod if it makes you happy!! but hust remember that its NOT real and not canon!!”#imagine being so bitter you have to comment on things not for you just to bring down morale of those who enjoy it #and you do it with a take that isnt even correct lmao

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 1 year ago

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nothing interesting here it's the exact same scene i just like seeing it

#french 13 isnt my favourite but i think she did a good job here. also in the gallery scene i liked that too #french yaz i love as much as english yaz #there IS smth interesting here btw but no one else will find it interesting but 'i know' is one of those #idk #like.........measuring things. for me. when im learning a new language #bc in english it's i know obvs and in french evidently it's 'i know' too - je sais #in dutch if you said 'i know' that'd be wrong #you have to say 'i know it'. or i suppose you could inverse it and do 'weet ik' and then you can leave out the 'it' but thats not the poin #so when im learning a new language im always like is it i know or is it i know it #and thats a stand in for lots of other similar questions of course #it's a never ending list of similar questions #but it's like the thing i remind myself of #so i dont go around saying 'ik weet'#i dont mind making like conjugation or grammar mistakes that much. thats like. it'll happen its whatever #but these kind of 'i can see how you got there but thats not how we say it' errors? hate it. dont want to make them #which is why i take forever to start writing/speaking bc yes i CAN make that sentence #but idk if thats how a french speaker would make that sentence so i'll wait until ive heard someone say 'je sais'#dont want to be speaking english/dutch with french words you know

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misanthropicdoe · 2 months ago

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people who are extremely emotionally repressed and incapable of expressing their feelings are most of the time only capable of feeling and expressing anger, irritation and bitterness. and they HATE seeing people who openly express all of their feelings and emotions, and are emotionally intelligent enough to understand the complexity of emotions. they absolutely hate them and it evokes such irritation and anger within them, because even if they dont understand it themselves, they are envious of ppl who dont take emotions so seriously or see it is being weak.

#i think a lot of times people get angry with me for openly being able to express my thoughts and feelings #they dont understand that when i vent about something it allows me to release the pain and severity of it a little bit #while they walk around holding that anger that turns into poison and hurts them everyday #somehow it is my fault for not being ashamed and feeling like i have to hide my #thought and feelings deep inside #the way they do.#and that for me feelings and thoughts arent written in stone #it doesnt scare me to face my dark and unsavory thoughts #they arent all i am #but somehow they get angry seeing someone dare to express everything #but its totally ok for them to fixate their anger on a total stranger that doesnt even care to take their existence into consideration while #expressing their feelings and thoughts ie they arent even abt them #idk i just cannot for the life of my understand that mindset #if you see someone vent about their experiences and thoughts and feelings #and get so angry you feel like punishing them or harrassing them #there is like something deeply wrong with u emotionally #it is just so frustrating to have to be bothered by those ppl so often #because i will NEVER shut up #i will never cower. i believe in total freedom of expressing things #even if i have to be burdened and bothered by stupid ppl trying to sew my lips shut and cut my tongue out i'll never stop #it isnt my responsibility that they cannot cope with someone just saying shit #it's just sad that this will def ensure that i'll keep have my accounts shut down on any platform 🙃#bc we dont live in a society where freedom of speech is a thing #and it will also make me very very very lonely bc not many ppl can handle someone who speaks openly #(plus im not a degenerate which many loud ppl are so i cant fit it w thm sadly)#but i've trid to keep it all inside and nod and smile but that just makes me....#have very very many homooo... ;))) cidal thoughts haha #cant live like that i'll explode #at least im glad i have my mom tbh #like very glad. she understands almost everything i say. im more extreme than her but she gets many things i say that others wouldnt

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critterchitters-closedcaptions · 3 months ago

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trying to decipher if the overwhelming dread & Thoughts are cause of the state of the world or cause i need a shower.

vent post in the tags. idk. do whatever 👍

#sorry bros im about to ventpost in these mf tags 👍#im so fucking tired man. im already suicidal to begin with but the Everything happening is making it Worse. Yippe Yahoo Hooray.#therapy in a week though so ive got that at least.#this is the worst time of year for shit to go south.but Uh Oh saying that makes me feel like a selfish fuckass because other people -#- have it worse. like. god fucking damn. i get Extra suicidal around september -> march range sure. but other people are literally suffering #like as we fucking speak. and ive done fuckall to help cause i dont know HOW to help. but thats not a fucking excuse #im just being comfortable in my lazy ass depression spiral cause im a selfish fucking prick. “i cant spare the energy to vett things”#other people are fucking dying and im over here like “noo im too tiwed :( i cant do anyfing so im not gona do anyfing cuz im wazy and tiwed”#what the fuck is wrong with me lmao. knowing me im not gona change shit anyway despite fucking complaining about it cause im just. fucking #Like That.#idk. i was reblogging some of those “hold in there dont kill yourselves” posts cause like. yk. suicide bad or fucking whatever. but someone #on this site said something along the lines of “ok but how many people reblogging/posting these told jews to kill themselves” and like.#i dont know. i dont fucking know dude. so i guess im not reblogging Those anymore.#theres bigger issues out there and here i am focusing on some queer people who might kill themselves. idk. i should just join them yk #cause i never fucking focus on the bigger shit cause “i dont know how” and “i dont want to make things worse so i just wont do anything” so #im not doing fuckall other than just being part of the fucking problem here.#i should probably just delete social media for a while and see from there.#or just fucking drink about it thats the other option. its worked for me before (lie) so i may as well do it again am i right #im sorry i never like. boost gofundmes or fundraisers and shit i just.#i dont have a fucking excuse. im just a lazy fucking bastard in my own stupid fucking comfort circle.#“oh no seeing that people are dying makes me uncomforyable :(” ok well people are fucking dying you self absorbed douchebag. why cant you #get off your stupid fucking ass and do something. get a job so you can fucking help people or *something #its not like you have to pay rent and shit.#<- all about myself. cause yk. self centered douchbag. hooray.#i dont pay rent and i dont have to pay for my own food. i still live with my parents. im fucking useless to society so i may as well get a #job and send the money i dont fucking need to somrone who DOES need it. but here i am.#in.my stupid fucking bed til noon cause “the world is scary and jobs are hard :(”#its fucking retail. retail isnt as fucking hard as like. construction and shit but here i am anyway “unable” to do shit.#i fucking could if i just fucking ballsed up and put up with shit. but no. here i fucking am going “nooo i should just kill myself instead”#vent post

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snekdood · 4 months ago

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not sure who needs to hear this but i do not see myself as above anyone, like, at all. if something I posted makes you think I think I am you're probably misreading it or my intentions. I dont feel the need to compare myself and make myself feel like i'm above people, i'm just not really that kind of person. in fact, people make a point of constantly trying to make me feel below them on here so dont worry, you don't gotta help em'.

#literally. feel free to send me an ask on anon 'what i meant' by anything. literally ever. i will gladly elaborate.#id rather you get it from me than someones wild interpretation of what i'm saying anyways.#a lot of the times when im trying to put myself on a pedestal i'm playing a character...... which im realizing now isnt immediately #recognizable for people who dont anything about my art..... uhm. well. so. i have a character. thats a jackass. and is my self insert.#but he wasnt always my self insert. but he is now. but he has always been a jackass even when i wasnt nearly as much #and since im still in the beginning of my comic in many ways im still holding on to that asshole version bc thats what hes like in #the beginning but i do actually have the wisdom and lived experience to know hes a jackass and that i dont want him to be #like that and he was always supposed to grow out of it ever since i first conceived of this comic- so in a way i hold on to it as a method #acting kind of thing. on the other hand its just a really funny persona to me. but its only really funny if you know its in the context #of a persona and thats not actually how i feel about the thing like im not actually being that extreme about it prolly sdjhfdvshjsfhvd #its the kind of persona you love to act bc you love to make fun of and mock that kind of person yknow?#idk how to explain it. but. rest assured that im probably just in my persona mode and hes very sassy and snarky and an ass #🤷 what can ya do #i also maybe put it on at bad times and not realize it and for that im sorry >_>#THAT would be bc of the bpd. and thats not me grasping for sympathy at all im speaking purely on facts.#bpd tends to make ppl express 'incorrectly' at the wrong times and yeah etc etc

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moss-sauce · 1 year ago

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life really fucking sucks right now

#teddy situation has undone probably a year of recovering haha i fuckig hate landlords #basically told us we need to get rid of ted because 'he is a liability'#THE DAY BEFOREBTHANKSGIVING #and i was expected to be chipper and happy at family dinner.#naw man. i havent really left the house because i wana spend time with ted hahahaha #he's going to live at my sister's place but still. i dont want him to have to go #selfharmed as in nearly scraped the skin off the entire back of my left hand #WAS HIT WITH 'I HONESTLY FIGURED/EXPECTED YOU TO (SELF HARM' LIKE DAMN HAHA #idk. i want to be hit by a fucking car. or anything else that will blast me away.#had another prospective friend end up being just a dumbfuck that wanted an easy lay #dad's been home all week #its just a lot man. and losing all that progress i worked hard for its another kick to the teeth #and its like. why should i go see my therapist again. im gonna tell her whats wrong. im gonna cry. she oretends to care. i come home #i just dont want to be here anymore. i dont. i keep hoping for things to get better because thats what im told to do and things get worse #i cannot live the rest of my life like this. im allowed to be selfish and say it isnt fair to me. and nobody should be stucj dealing with me #im not gonna have a happy ending like all my friends did. im gonna be lonely and suicidal until i finally get thr balls to just fucking doit #local idiot sad

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fardf150 · 7 months ago

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fuck

#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all #bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever #but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then #but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou #s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck #i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked #i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself #fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her #and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it #but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all #im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet #I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands #'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring #you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act #like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even #fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me #i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned

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