#idk. i hate instagram lol
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when did it become "stop doing x!!!" instead of "tips for drawing x for beginner artists'
#i keep seeing the 'don't use chicken scratch' and 'don't shade with purple' trends#and then when people are like 'hey these are legitimate techniques in a lot of ways even though there are other techniques'#everyone jumps to defending themselves with 'oh it's for BEGINNER artists'#like.... okay?? that doesn't make them any less legitimate techniques to use#maybe instead of being mean to beginners we should have genuine advice#yeah it won't get as much engagement or whatever but imo that's better than shaming beginners#just thinking#sammy.txt#it gives off the vibe of 'you're not a REAL artist if you do [insert thing here]'#idk. i hate instagram lol
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Video by shesasolarbeing on Insta cause apparently unlike TikTok they don't like putting watermarks for their creators. Go check them out!
Friend sent me this and my first thought was @kianamaiart 's magical girl series. Or rather, AIKA REAL??!?1?!1
#idk bout that last sentence i just thought the post needed a punchline. especially for the tangent im about to go on#seriously though seeing people do cool stuff makes me look at the reflecting art through a whole new lense like I have stars in my eyes#love love love when people express themselves in cool ways like this#it's like my previous “dressing crazy” post and all the tags on it. humanity and art and expression are so awesome i love it so much#people are cool man#okay now what actual tags do i put on this#...DO i put actual tags on this?#uhhh#i dont wanna be a magical girl#am i allowed to use that tag? idk hopefully ill be let know if not#black hair#self expression#expression#hair#people being cool#instagram#i regret putting the @ there lol. hate interacting with folks online unless its under my own post#feels like im pulling someone out of a conversation#but alas i want to send people to check out other cool peeps so i will bite the bullet#nobody pay attention to my tangents down here lol
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officially on vacation (don't leave until wednesday, but no more work!) and i'm happy happy happy BUT it's also like. there is some stuff happening at work that i'm soooo nosy about and i don't want to have to wait until i come back to hear about it lmfao.
#just stupid drama#i really wanna know if the guy we all HATE finally quits or not#there was an. altercation.... at work the other day#the coworker he's been shit talking came in early and was like heyyyy can we talk?#and he tried to get out of it like 5 times lmfao#he was like oh our manager was going to set up a meeting in A FEW WEEKS....#and she was like oh we can just talk now!! i'm here and i'd love to speak to you :-)#he was like ummm i can't stay late!!! and she was like oh there's an hour left on your shift! we can talk right now! :-)#fucking hilarious. he did not want to be confronted and thought he could get out of it but she's kind of insane so that is not happening#and the thing is too he was literally MOMENTS before complaining to us that he didn't know why she was mad that he was talking about her#because he NEVER talked about her! and everyone was LYING!#and i was like dude. you're talking about her RIGHT NOW.#it's lowkey sad though bc he has two 'friends' at work that i know for a fact have gone to the manager and told him that they don't#want to work w him anymore and complained about his work performance#and apparently that somehow came out and he's convinced that the manager is lying about it. but he's not... lol.#so it's just so sad that no one is being honest with him#lmfao i understand though bc i personally have been honest with him and called him out (VERY GENTLY) and he gets sooo pissy about stuff#but like i'm not pretending to be his friend!#anyways i'm sooo nosy about it lmfaooooo#on instagram he blocked me and like all of our coworkers but two lmfao#but i know both of them hate him so idk why he didn't block them too#lmfao like literally everyyyyyyy single person i work with dislikes him#so yeah i'm hopeful that it's finally over lmfao#this is the same guy i posted about before who bullied my favorite coworker into leaving so.#yeah i really hope he's gone now
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kinda wanna……..
#deactivate lol#idk tumblr is starting to feel very transactional#there’s no community#this app is treated like#instagram or tiktok idk#i hate ranting on here but like#losing encouragement n motivation tehe#seraph.announces!
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me itching to post some cosplay pics i just found because i look good there but also fighting for my life to Not post them cause i dont want my face online
#plus it feels like cheating cuz i do not look that good irl. idk the spirit of a prettyboy twink posessed me during taking those photos#i would post them on instagram but they would drag me for my cool emo hair and cool emo clothes and#im talking about the time i cosplayed glitchtrap but it was hot so i went a dawktrap route with just head and gloves#and paired it up with the classic ourple guy outfit with the purple shirt and black vest and badge so it was very silly#nobody knew who i was at the con btw. except like 2 kids literally awful#you dont know purple guy????#also found some that were from a project that i fucked up on. i still feel bad about it but oh well. was meant to collab with someone for#an edit and i had to take some videos for them to cut and edit but i suck at taking videos and am terrible on camera in general so i hated#every single take and they also didnt like it iirc. told me to take more and i had enough. and then i got locked out of my account so i was#like fuck it. and i didnt get back to them later so i am the AH#i got some screenshots from it that are cool but i cant post them as that would be mean and lame and whatever#oh well i dont even remember their acc anymore but i should have apologized and explained that i wont do more takes as they wont be better#do not ask me for a cosplay video ever#made me think of how many times people recorded me at cons only for the footage not be used in the aftermovies lol
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So this week in unforgivable fuckery...
#ruii.txt#long rant#im this close to having another 4 month semi-hiatus bc i hate twitter and everything it stands for#you can't even lurk there anymore unless you make an account like wtf#i already have one and im this close of eviscerating that one too#also instagram can kiss my ass too#also boost for reddit died thanks to that good for nothing asshat spez#it was the only app on reddit that i liked#now that it dead im using reddit less now on phone#now i ain't the only one got hit by the rate limit on twitter so i say fuck it#im just gonna dump art there and dip#if its a hit then fine#if not it's whatever im done having to be a microinfluencer when i just wanna draw and relax#sadly i can't leave completely bc i gotta keep tabs with my friends see how they doin#when is bluesky gonna release so i can bolt on over there lmao#right now tumblr inkblot and artfol are all i can tolerate on bc there's rarely any drama my way so yeah lol#end rant#more art coming soon c:#might delete later idk
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they accepted my blaze but put a community label on it :/
#for WHAT !? cause it says the word transsexual on it ?? cause it says bitch somewhere ?? whats going on#chatpost#put my blaze fee in my business expenses spreadsheet >:)#i always feel weird blazing stuff because i know lots of people hate it & there are people that block everyone that blazes something#but i am such a nobody in terms of followers that i have to get my stuff seen by new people somehow lol#and the alternative is putting out ads on like INSTAGRAM and i don't want to do that. idk!
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i like how the day i started looking into cohost as a tumblr alternative for when this place inevitably dies for good this time was the day that the admins decided to allow illustrated cp as long as it was of non human characters and only backed down after people threatened to leave
#^sarcasm#pedophila mention tw#ask to tag#afaik this was also them backing down from a policy where it allowed anything along those lines ''as long as its not hyper realistic''#because they ''wanted to make everybody happy''#''but you use furaffinity'' theres no other viable alternatives + cohost is ran by like 4 people so that was a personal decision i think#+ You are on tumblr and maybe twitter or instagram or some other equally bad social media yourself so idk#if i wanna move to another social media site for ethical reasons i want it to be ethical#maybe a feddyverse instance with 36 members and a corrupt admin really is the future. jk everyones just moving everything to discord lol#hate it
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woah i’m a ,,,, senior now huh
#😵💫🫠🥴#damn this yr felt so fuckcing#hard but also so rewarding#in classes and in like friendships and stuff :’D hard mainly for classes lol#next yr bout to be so much harder 🫠#but hopefully also rewarding#ik being director will be very hard but very rewarding according to past directors :’)#bro it alr hard bc i can’t get out of my fucking head abt like when i do anything lol#anyway it’s fine 🤪#also this so random but i want to post on instagram like a year end post or whatever but#i hate posting on instagram LOL so idk why i still always want to do it#i want to do it but i never do bc i get to that point and overthink every fucking part of posting#maybe that just means i shouldn’t fucking post lmao#but i’m still here wanting to post XD#anyway lol doesn’t rly matter 🤪#jeanne talks
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pmsing is HELL ive had multiple full on shaking sobbing breakdowns over the tinest things like it just hits me at all at once im angry for no reason and im going to be in a horrific depressive episode until my period, i hate late periods because it just means it lasts longer, i feel like im going insane going feral hate it here
#there suicidal and then theres pmsing suicidal it hits different its so much worse#its so terrifying as well i hate it and i hate that ill always have this until menoporse or wtf its spelt#like i just gave up on recovery because it never mattered how well i did it always all came crashing down before my period and id be back#at 0t#this was lighthearted but now im serious im just so tired of this its like#usual depressive episodes are bad enough#but this just feels worse to me because i know itll happen no matter what#and i feel honestly crazy if i talked about how i felt i think people would think im insane#:((((#im so sad let me vent here its my tumblr#nah ill regret this LMAO#i always make some boohoo sad post at this time and then a week later i cringe when i remember it i should make like an anonymous account s#not on tumblr#idk where#oh i used to have a private instagram when i was young lol#om remember finstas?#does anyone have them anymore idk
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yes i know tumblr is insane and kinda toxic sometimes but these days it's nice . no scary things that stress me out on here. just funny posts and cool art and talking abt games and anime and etc. Man I hate twitter.
#i absolutely hate online discourse . theres so much on twitter#so much stuf that kinda gets me freaked out#but like on here i can curate my online experience much easier.#tumblr is far from perfect tho😭#but still better than twitter#pls dont think of me as a Twitter refugee I did not come here bc twitter fell apart#i think I joined in like 2019 (possibly on a different account i dont rember) (HOW WAS 2019 5 YRS AGO HELP)#i kinda forgot abt it. then I joined twitter in like 2020 and i was hellaaa toxic and just all around hard to get along with bruh.#i was on twitter for a while but I cant even remember what made me quit ? OH WAIT#i just got soooo sick of twitter fans being so annoying. i remember in my own words saying something like ''I'm tired of the same jokes-#-getting retweeted over and over again'' or smnthing#i was just annoyed#and then I was using instagram#and I remembered one time Hey I Used to use tumblr. ??? and i went on here. and i fit in so quickly....#like the sense of humor and everything#its easy for me to interact in this community. there may be insane toxicity and arguments and discourse sometimes but i have to actually-#-seek it out. i can very easily curate my online experience. i just block anyone that upsets me !! and all the blogs i follow are not toxi#idk sorry for the random rant lol#kitt.txt#edit: actually i think i was still using Twitter when i left for tumblr
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"why is everyone so quick to criticize christianity, but not other religions" Buddy, we *do* point out the flaws of other religions. Pointing out the issues with Christians (and Christianity in general) doesn't negate the flaws of other religions.
The thing is, it seems like you guys only point out the flaws of other religions whenever Christianity is criticized. Wonder why... 🤔
#like seriously notice how islam's flaws are usually only brought up whenever christianity's flaws are discussed... 🤔🤔🤔#like idk about you but have you maybe considered that you are part of the problem#just say you hate muslims and go lmfao#op is christian#progressive christianity#sorry i saw a post on instagram this morning calling out evangelicals for their homophobia#and some of the comments were like “yeah but what about islam”#like.. yeah. islam has a homophobia problem too. thats not new info. but the post wasn't about islam or muslims. it was about evangelicals#and no where in that post did it say that islam didnt have issues neither lol#(and plus: queer muslims exist. but many of yall choose to ignore that fact)
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林彦俊等你好久了 真的就这样吗
#lin yanjun post incoming#gonna get Real personal rn. a little hateful too. warning for that#it probably doesn’t sound like it but lyj was my first idolpro bias#he was one of the first people to get me into ninepercent & the world of cpop in general#when i started liking him it was in the middle of a scandal. the 等待整个冬天 one#then when i thought everything was fine the next scandal came out. lol.#so in the three years i liked him. he was active for like 2 months total.#anyway the point is his fanmeeting got cancelled and I was going and no one ever comes to singapore so. it sucks#and he’s livestreaming on instagram rn and just. he’s not saying anything. he’s not explaining he’s just going#‘there were a lot of reasons and we couldn’t get things ready in time’#he’s talking about releasing a book and releasing a new song at the fanmeet and bringing his dogs#but what about those 3 years? what about the radio silence what about his job#i paid for the ticket myself and i’m still a student and it was fucking rough and after all that nothing happens?#maybe i’m the stupid one for still following him maybe this is just how it is being his fan. can’t blame him for not wanting to be an idol#THIS ISNT THAT DEEP IDK WHY I GOT SO EMOTIONAL OVER IT.#he called himself 前夫 like ex-bias does he think anyone wants that?? does he want that??#is that what i should be doing then??#yeah. whatever#kinda sucks that zhengting is the only person in my 9% bias line who’s still active. but that’s on me too
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Why does it hit so hard?
To be consumed by something you love, and after so much pain, not even for a second you have changed your mind
#just-- idk i'm just feeling emotions super strong today#i get the person of the video yk?#i ADORE jellyfish and even tho i'm scared out of my ass about touching one i wouldn't change my mind about the love i feel if it happened#it's love you can't really control that after all#and isn't it amazing?#the shark was just following his instincts anyways#would you be okay about being hated because of a mistake?#sorry i'll always come to an animal defense if i can lol#anyway#instagram#shark
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ARE YOU JEALOUS?
Summary: Sassy!Kook!Reader gets jealous when she sees Rafe Cameron close with another girl...
Content: neck sucking (?), childhood friends to lovers, kind of mean!rafe in one scene, bullying lol, suggestive towards the end but just a tiny bit.
Words Count: 5.5k ... i don't know what the fuck happened...
Aliyah's talking: IDK if i fw this or not but i hope yall will lolz <3 Thank you so much for the love on Protective Instincts btw!!!! I am so grateful and surprised that many of you all enjoyed it. Hope u'll enjoy this one too 🩷
Sunlight streamed into Sarah’s room, casting a soft, golden glow over the space as you lounged on her bed, idly flipping through a magazine. You both were sprawled across the plush, yellow covers, surrounded by half-empty bags of chips and scattered makeup palettes—evidence of an afternoon well spent. Sarah was perched by the vanity, trying on different lip glosses, all of which looked beautiful on her, but she insisted on which one was the best.
“So, tell me again,” she started, holding up a tube of shimmery pink gloss and squinting at it thoughtfully. “Why don’t you go for Jake? I mean, he’s cute, he’s smart—”
“And boring. He is boring,” you interjected, rolling your eyes with a laugh. “Come on, Sarah, you know how I am. I need someone with a little more… edge…? Someone that could handle me but also play the game, you know?”
Sarah smirked, setting the lip gloss down and turning to face you. “Edge… Handling your attitude… I’m afraid that weirdly sounds like someone we both know.”
“You think you’re so funny, huh?” you said, shooting her a mock glare.
She laughed, completely unbothered. "What? I’m just stating the facts!" She shrugged, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "As much as I hate to admit it, my brother definitely fits both criteria, so…”
You were listening to her but stopped when your phone buzzed. Out of habit, you unlocked it and opened the notification from Instagram; Topper posted a new story and you watched it. The screen was filled with a shaky video of the beach, the late afternoon sun casting golden light over everything. You recognized some people, but your attention zeroed in on Rafe, right in the center of it all. He was grinning, his arm slung around a girl who was laughing and pulling him closer, like they were the only two people on the beach.
You felt a quick, unwelcome pang in your chest.
“Hey, what’s got you so interested?” Sarah’s voice broke through your thoughts, and you glanced back at her, masking any hint of emotion with a casual smirk.
You locked the screen and tossed the phone aside. “Nothing. Just Topper’s beach parties and Instagram stories.”
She gave you a skeptical look, folding her arms. “Don’t lie to me. I know you better than yourself, what did you see in that story, Y/N?”
You hesitated, but then shrugged, trying to play it off. “Rafe was at the party with some girl. A new girl. It’s not a big deal.”
“Ah, I see,” she said with a raised eyebrow. “You know he’s always messing around with someone new. But… I thought you didn’t care about what he was up to.”
“I don’t,” you said, a bit too quickly, crossing your arms. “He can do whatever the hell he wants.”
“Right. So, you don’t care at all?”
You rolled your eyes, trying to suppress a smile. “Look, I just don’t get what’s so special about him that girls keep falling over themselves to be around him. That’s all.”
She nodded with a giggle. “Yeah, no, I definitely—”
“And doesn’t it bother anyone that he’s got a new girl every week? I mean, if I were one of those girls who actually liked him, I’d be furious. Wouldn’t you, Sar?” You barely paused before continuing, not even waiting for her answer. “It’s honestly just sad because Rafe really isn’t even all that. Sure, he can be fun and nice sometimes, but he’s also a huge asshole with a big fucking ego. Is it just me, or is everyone blind to that?”
Sarah was quiet for a moment, studying you with a thoughtful expression before she finally spoke up. “You know what? I think we could both use a break from overthinking anything about the opposite sex. How about we get out of here and grab some smoothies? I heard there’s a new spot by the marina.”
You nodded, grateful that she didn’t talk about your little moment. “Yeah, let’s go.”
Sarah grabbed her bag, giving you one last teasing smile. “Smoothies and maybe some retail therapy afterward?”
“Sounds like a plan,” you replied, letting the idea of a carefree afternoon replace the lingering thoughts of Rafe. Whatever he was up to, it was his business. You weren’t about to let it ruin your day.
The soft hum of the fridge and the rhythmic clinking of silverware filled the kitchen as you, Sarah, and Rafe gathered around the island, your weekly routine as ingrained as the family photos lining the walls. The night was settling in, casting a cozy stillness over the room. You were only half-listening as Sarah rambled on about her weekend plans, your attention instead focused on pushing pasta around on your plate, not particularly hungry.
Rafe sat across the counter, leaning back in his chair with an ease that always seemed to irritate you. He had been quiet, too but you knew he wouldn’t last long. Sure enough, he broke the silence.
“Alright,” he began, raising an eyebrow at you, “what’s up with you tonight? You’re awfully quiet.”
You didn’t look up, keeping your tone purposefully casual. “Nothing’s up,” you replied, hoping he’d let it go. But you knew better.
“Come on,” he pressed, tilting his head in that infuriatingly smug way. “Where’s that feisty attitude you always have? Usually, by now, you’d have already made at least five smartass comments about my shirt or something.”
You let out a short, unimpressed laugh, finally meeting his gaze with a raised eyebrow. “Maybe I just ran out of things to say about you, Rafael. Ever think of that?”
He grinned, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Nah. You’ve got an endless supply of attitude, Y/N. I’d be shocked if you were ever actually out of material.” He took a sip from his glass, watching you over the rim with that familiar, infuriating smirk.
Sarah shot you a look, her mouth twisted in a tired smile as she mouthed, here we go. She had seen this routine a thousand times before.
“You really think I spend that much time thinking about you?” you fired back, folding your arms over your chest and fixing him with an unimpressed stare.
“Oh, I don’t think,” he replied smoothly, leaning in a little closer, “I know. Admit it. I’m in your head, aren’t I?”
You let out an exaggerated sigh, leaning back in your chair as you tossed him an indifferent look. “Right. You’re the center of my world, Rafe. Can’t you tell?”
He chuckled, clearly enjoying this. “You know, when you’re this quiet, it’s like a fucking flashing neon sign saying, ‘Something’s up’. Might as well tell me now.”
You rolled your eyes. You knew that engaging with him like this was a slippery slope—once you started, he never let up. But for some reason, tonight, you couldn’t help yourself.
“Honestly, I don’t have the energy for your little mind games tonight,” you said, trying to sound as bored as possible. “So, if you’re expecting me to entertain you, you’re gonna be disappointed.”
“Oh, come on. I don’t believe that for a second,” he shot back, leaning back casually in his chair as if he had all the time in the world to wear you down. “You love this. Sparring with me? It’s basically your favorite hobby.”
You scoffed, shaking your head. "Didn’t realize my silence was such a tragedy for you.”
“Oh, it is. I mean, where else am I supposed to get my daily dose of attitude?” He leaned back, feigning a pout. “Come on, you’re no fun like this. Did something happen?”
You rolled your eyes, twirling your fork in the pasta as if it held your entire focus. “Why would you care? I’m sure you have more important things to worry about. Maybe more girl—”
Sarah let out a sigh, interrupting before Rafe could respond. “Honestly, do you two ever get tired of this? We’re supposed to be having dinner, and it feels like I’m watching some sort of weird rom-com.”
You shot Sarah an exasperated look. “There’s nothing romantic about this, Sar. It’s called surviving.”
“Right,” Sarah said, clearly unconvinced. “But could you maybe survive without the constant bickering? Just once?”
Rafe smirked, clearly unfazed by Sarah’s comment as he turned back to you. “I don’t know. I think she secretly enjoys it. You should see how she lights up when she gets going.”
“Fuck off,” you muttered, taking a long sip from your glass and hoping it would mask the heat you could feel rising in your cheeks.
He watched you with an amused glint in his eye, clearly picking up on your discomfort. “A little defensive, aren’t we? I mean, I’m just stating the obvious here. You’ve been on edge all night. Care to share with the class what’s really bothering you?”
You set your glass down with a little more force than necessary, fixing him with a glare. “You really think everything’s about you, don’t you?”
“Not everything,” he replied, shrugging casually. “Just the things that involve you. Because, for some reason, every time you’re in a mood, it usually has something to do with me.”
You opened your mouth to argue, but then closed it again, unsure of how to respond without giving anything away. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d hit a nerve, even if he had.
“What’s the matter, princess?” he continued, pushing his plate aside as he leaned forward, his eyes never leaving yours. “Did something happen between you and Jake, huh? I thought you two were casually talk—”
You groaned, frustrated that he’d brought Jake into it. “There’s nothing to say about Jake. I’m just tired, okay? Not everything has to be about some guy.”
“Oh, I’m aware,” Rafe replied, his tone laced with a hint of smugness. “But I’d say you’re a little more…on edge than usual. So, it has to be about that guy, right…”
“Jake’s got nothing to do with this,” you said, your tone steady. “Unlike you, he actually knows how to mind his own business.”
Well, you’re just lying because you’ve never taken the time to actually learn about Jake and what type of person he was. As bitchy as it sounded, you were using him as a distraction.
You stared at him, hoping your silence would be enough to make him drop it. But, of course, he didn’t.
Rafe crossed his arms as he studied you, his gaze never wavering. “So, you’re saying you prefer a guy who lets you get away with whatever you want, then?”
You scoffed. “No, Rafe. I am saying I prefer a guy who doesn’t feel the need to stick his nose into everything I do. You know, a guy who’s secure enough to let me be without constantly needing to provoke me.”
“Yeah, I see,” he replied, nodding softly. “So, basically, you’re looking for someone boring. Someone who doesn’t challenge you, who just lets you coast by. Am I right?”
You let out a dry laugh, shaking your head. “You think you know me so well, don’t you? Don’t flatter yourself, Cameron. I can find someone else to annoy me if I really wanted to.”
Rafe’s eyes darkened, but that infuriating smirk stayed in place, like he thrived on every bit of tension between you. He cocked an eyebrow, leaning forward, his voice a low, taunting whisper. “Oh yeah? Who, exactly? Jake? He’s perfect for you—goody-two-shoes, never steps out of the fucking line. Because, let’s be honest, you’d crush him. He’d never call you out, never push you.” He paused, and there was a bitterness beneath his words, hidden but unmistakable. “He’d be safe.”
A bitter smile twisted your lips, the pain creeping into your voice despite your best efforts. “At least Jake knows how to be respectful. He wouldn’t stoop to tearing me down just to get a rise. He wouldn’t need to.”
Rafe scoffed, his amusement tinged with a hint of anger. “Respectful? Fuck that. You want someone to play nice and tell you what you want to hear, go right ahead. But I think we both know that’s not what you really want.” He took a step closer, his gaze fierce, challenging. “You think I’m the bad guy because I’m not afraid to tell you the truth. I don’t play pretend. I’m not here to tell you sweet lies—I’d rather see who you really are, even if that means pissing you off.”
You narrowed your eyes, fury blazing in your chest. He was looking right at you, like he could see through every layer you tried so hard to put up. But there was something deeper in his gaze, a flicker of something that made your heart race even as anger burned within you. And you hated that he could do that—make you feel so exposed, so raw, yet so alive all at once.
But to him, this was just another game. He thrived on your frustration, on the way he could get under your skin with just a few well-placed words. It was a twisted power play, a battle neither of you were willing to lose. And for a moment, the air between you was charged, almost electrifying, the tension so thick it was nearly suffocating.
You wanted to hate him, but a part of you couldn’t help but wonder if he was right—if he really did see through to the parts of you that no one else dared to touch.
But that only made you angrier, and you felt a surge of resentment rise within you, pushing you over the edge. With a sudden flash of fury, you slammed your fists onto the table, the sound echoing through the room, your voice sharp and cutting. “You know what? Fuck you, Rafe Cameron.”
Without another word, you turned and stormed out.
The sound reverberated through the Cameron household, leaving a heavy silence. Rafe stood there, fists clenched, trying to swallow down the mix of anger and something else—something that felt dangerously close to longing.
Sarah raised an eyebrow at her brother. “You’re a fucking asshole, you know that?”
Rafe shot her a look, irritation simmering just beneath the surface. “You don’t get it, Sarah. She’s… She’s infuriating.”
But then he hesitated, his gaze drifting toward the door you had just stormed out of. The edge of his lips twitched in a way that was all too vulnerable, too honest. “But there’s something about her,” he admitted, his voice softening. “She’s fierce and passionate. When she’s angry, it’s like she’s alive in a way I can’t help but be drawn to. It’s frustrating, but… but she’s not afraid to challenge me, to call me out.” He paused, searching for the right words, his heart racing.
“And so that makes it right for you to annoy her to that point?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I can’t help it. I want her to see the real me, too. It’s like I can’t breathe when she’s around and then—when she leaves? It’s like the air just… disappears.” He ran a hand through his hair, a mix of confusion and desire etched across his features. “She challenges me in ways I never expected, and it drives me insane, but I can’t help but want more of her.”
“Wow,” Sarah said softly, her voice full of surprise. “I didn’t think I’d see the day Rafe Cameron talked about someone like this—but mess around with her like that one more time, and I’ll hurt you.”
The sun spilled into your bedroom, casting a warm glow that felt inviting. But you stirred, still brimming with the tumult of emotions from last night. Rafe’s words echoed in your mind—his teasing, the way he pushed your buttons, and the way your heart raced despite your annoyance. You groaned and rolled over, pulling the blanket over your head, hoping to drown out the memories.
But then laughter broke through the haze of your thoughts. It was bright and carefree, drifting in through the open window. Intrigued, you tossed off the blanket and slid out of bed, your curiosity piqued. A quick glance outside revealed the source of the joyful sounds: Sarah, Wheezie, and Rafe were out by the pool, splashing water and playfully throwing each other around.
Rafe, wearing nothing but swim trunks that hung low on his hips, was the centerpiece of the scene, effortlessly drawing your gaze. His tanned skin glimmered, accentuating the muscles that rippled as he dove and surfaced in the water, laughter spilling from his lips, infectious and buoyant.
You caught yourself ogling him, eyes roaming over the way the water dripped from his hair, the way his body moved with ease and confidence. It wasn’t fair, really—how could someone be so effortlessly captivating? The sun caught the edges of his grin as he tossed Wheezie playfully into the pool, the sound of her laughter ringing out like music.
You were lost in the moment, so caught up in the heat of his gaze that you didn’t even notice the way your thighs clenched together, craving the contact that felt just out of reach. All you could think about was the overwhelming desire to touch him—everywhere. You imagined your hands gliding over his toned chest, feeling the hard flex of his biceps beneath your fingertips, tracing the lines of his powerful arms as they wrapped around your body, waist, and ass pulling you closer.
You wanted him. God, did you want him.
Why did he have this effect on you? Why was he constantly invading your thoughts, even now?
A sudden buzz from your phone pulled you from your reverie. You grabbed it from the bedside table and saw a message from Sarah: “Get your ass out here! We’re in the pool, it’s fun! You’ll want to join us!”
A smile tugged at your lips at Sarah's enthusiasm, but a moment of hesitation passed as you remembered the tension of last night. Still, you didn’t want to be the odd one out. With a determined sigh, you pulled yourself away from the window and began to get ready.
You rummaged through your drawers, searching for that one bikini that made you look stunning and earned you a handful of compliments every time you wore it. Finally, you found it: a deep emerald green that contrasted perfectly against your skin tone. It was cut high, accentuating your legs, the top was daring, showing just enough to leave to the imagination. You paired it with a pair of denim shorts.
You headed towards the back door, nerves swirling in your stomach. As you stepped outside, the head of the sun hit you like a wave, and the sounds of laughter grew louder.
“You’re awake!” Sarah exclaimed, her voice bright and cheerful. “I thought we’d have to drag you out here!”
You laughed lightly, feeling a playful energy surge within you. “I’m here, aren’t I?” You shot back, trying to keep your tone light as you made your way toward the pool.
Wheezie exclaimed, eyes wide of admiration. “Wow, Y/N! Look at you!”
“Thanks!” you replied, trying to play it cool but secretly loving the attention. You glanced at Rafe, who had turned to face you, and your heart raced at the sight of him leaning against the pool’s edge, water cascading down his toned body.
His gaze lingered on you, a mix of surprise and appreciation playing across his features. “Well, well, if it isn’t the queen herself,” he teased, that infuriating smirk stretching across his face. “Nice of you to join us.”
You rolled your eyes and turned your back to him, feigning indifference as you busied yourself with anything but him. The events of last night were still fresh in your mind, a heated clash that left you reeling and more than a little irritated. You were determined not to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.
“Oh, so I get the silent treatment?” he drawled, his voice dripping with playful disbelief. “I’m devastated,” he added, the corner of his mouth quirking up in that infuriatingly irresistible smirk that always made your heart flutter.
Instead, you focused on Sarah and Wheezie, who were gleefully splashing water at each other. You couldn’t help but feel the pull of their energy.
Hours rolled by and you settled onto a lounge chair, you could feel Rafe’s eyes on you, the heat of his gaze igniting your skin in a way that both thrilled and annoyed you. He was still in the pool, looking at you like he wanted to eat you alive. You didn’t know but you were driving him crazy with that attitude of yours, this whole ignoring thing and your fucking bikini.
Sarah and Wheezie went inside the house to prepare some snacks and drinks for us because we were getting hungry and thirsty, leaving only Rafe and you.
You pulled your phone, pretending to scroll through social media, anything to distract yourself from the way your heart raced at his presence. A notification lit up your phone, and your heart skipped a beat when you saw Jake’s name flash across the screen. The excitement surged through you as you opened the message:
"Hey, gorgeous. I really like you, and I’d love to take you out sometime. You in?"
He was cute—way too cute.
A grin crept onto your lips, and for once, you allowed yourself to enjoy the attention from someone who wasn’t toying with your emotions. Someone who actually seemed genuine. No games, no mixed signals. Just interest. The kind that felt refreshing after dealing with someone who never seemed to know what he wanted.
You barely had time to revel in it before Rafe’s voice cut through the moment, sharp and demanding. “What’s got you smiling like that?”
Your grip tightened on your phone instinctively, and you flicked your gaze up to him, feigning nonchalance. “Oh, nothing. Just a friend,” you said, slipping your phone screen down against your thigh.
Rafe wasn’t buying it. His eyes narrowed, skepticism written all over his face. “Just a friend, huh?” His voice had that dangerous edge to it, the one you knew too well. “Funny, you don’t usually smile like that over friends.”
You felt his eyes burning into you, but you refused to give him the satisfaction. “Really? Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think,” you teased, biting back the smirk threatening to break free.
Rafe’s jaw clenched. “Who was it?”
“Like I said, just a friend,” you repeated, your voice smooth, but now you were teasing on purpose. You could feel his irritation rising, and part of you enjoyed it. “What, are you jealous or something?”
He scoffed, though you didn’t miss the way his eyes darkened. “Why the hell would I be jealous?” he snapped, though it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than you. “I’m just asking a question.”
“Uh-huh.” You raised an eyebrow, leaning back and tilting your head, watching him closely. “Right. Just a casual question, huh? Totally doesn’t sound like someone’s jealous.”
His hands were now resting on the edge of the pool, gripping it just a little too tightly. “I’m not jealous,” he repeated, but the way his gaze darted to your phone said otherwise. “But if it’s someone trying to get at you, then yeah, I wanna know. Who is it?”
“Someone,” you said vaguely, enjoying the fact that Rafe was teetering on the edge of losing it. “Someone who’s interested, clearly.”
Rafe’s eyes flared, and the jealousy in his voice became impossible to miss. “Interested in what? You?” His lips curled into a scowl, his muscles tense. “What, you think some random guy’s gonna—”
“Maybe,” you cut in, your smile growing. “Maybe he’s actually straightforward, you know? No mind games, no drama. Just a guy who knows what he wants.”
His brows shot up, the implication stinging. “And you think I don’t know what I want?”
You shrugged, not backing down an inch. “Well, you never seem to make it that clear. Maybe someone else is going to take your place as my—”
The possessiveness in his eyes flared. He pushed himself up out of the pool, water dripping from his shoulders as he moved closer, his presence looming over you. “No one’s stepping up, got it? No one’s taking my place.”
You met his gaze, unflinching, even as your heart raced a little faster. “Oh? And what exactly is your place, Rafe?”
He leaned in, the heat between you practically crackling. “You know damn well where my place is,” he murmured, his voice low, daring, yet with a hint of uncertainty creeping in. “And I’m not about to let some bitch ass slide in because you think I don’t care.”
You smiled, tilting your head, savoring the tension. “Seems like you do care. Maybe more than you want to admit.”
“Because I do care, Y/N,” he murmured softly, swiping his wet thumb across your cheek. “I told you already that I cared way too damn much.”
Rafe’s thumb lingered on your cheek, the warmth of his touch sending shivers through your body despite the heat of the day. His eyes held yours, dark and intense, as if he were trying to convey all the words he couldn’t quite say aloud. The air between you was thick, charged with a tension that had been building for far too long.
You swallowed hard, trying to hold onto some semblance of control, but it was a losing battle. “Your way of showing it is fucked, Rafe.”
Your words were meant to cut, but they came out softer than you intended, almost like a challenge. His jaw tightened, but instead of snapping back with some cocky retort, he stepped even closer. The scent of chlorine and his skin invaded your senses, and you couldn’t help but notice how his muscles tensed as he towered over you, dripping with water, his presence commanding.
“I care,” he repeated, his voice lower now, almost a growl. His eyes flicked down to your lips and back to your eyes, like he was making a decision in real time. “I care more than you know.”
Before you could muster a reply, his hand slid from your cheek to the back of your neck, pulling you just a little closer, your breath hitching as his lips hovered near your ear. “I think you know exactly what my place is,” he murmured, his voice rough with unspoken desire. “And you’re not running from it.”
His breath was hot against your skin, sending a wave of heat cascading down your spine. He didn’t move right away, as if savoring the tension that crackled between you, the nearness, the inevitability of it all. Your heart pounded in your chest, your pulse quickening as his lips brushed, ever so lightly, against the sensitive spot just below your ear.
You gasped, your hands instinctively gripping the fabric of your shorts as your body reacted to him, heat pooling low in your belly. “Rafe…” you whispered, not quite a protest, but not quite giving in either.
But he wasn’t about to back down now. He shifted closer, his mouth grazing the curve of your neck, soft at first, then firmer, the scrape of his teeth making your pulse race. Your skin ignited under his touch, and a low moan escaped your lips before you could stop it.
“You feel that?” he whispered, his lips trailing lower, his voice husky and thick with need. “That’s not some game. That’s real.”
Your body arched toward him of its own accord, your resistance melting as his hands slid down to your waist, fingers pressing firmly into your skin, pulling you closer. You could feel the heat of his breath on your neck, his lips teasing, torturing, as they brushed along your collarbone. Every touch, every whisper was setting your nerves alight, and you were dizzy with the intensity of it.
“You’re such an ass,” you muttered, trying to keep a shred of control, but your voice lacked conviction.
He chuckled softly, the sound vibrating against your skin. “Maybe,” he agreed, his lips brushing the spot just beneath your ear again, sending a fresh wave of shivers down your spine. “But you can’t stop thinking about me, can you?”
You hated how right he was. You hated how easily he could unravel you, how even now, you were leaning into his touch, craving more of it. But there was no way you were giving him the satisfaction of hearing it.
“Stop being so cocky,” you managed to whisper, though your voice wavered with the desire that coursed through you.
But Rafe wasn’t in the mood to stop. His hand slid to your lower back, pulling your body flush against his, the coolness of his skin mingling with your own heat. You could feel the hard lines of his body pressed against yours, his chest rising and falling as his lips grazed your shoulder, his teeth scraping lightly against your skin, just enough to make you shudder.
“Admit it,” he murmured against your neck, his voice a deep, rough command. “You want this.”
You closed your eyes, fighting to hold onto your last thread of self-control, but the tension between you was overwhelming, suffocating. His lips moved lower, placing slow, deliberate kisses along your collarbone, each one leaving a trail of fire in its wake. Your breath came in ragged gasps as your body betrayed you, leaning into him, craving the heat of his touch, the weight of his gaze, the way he made you feel like the only person in the world.
“Rafe…” you breathed, your voice barely audible, as his hand slid down to your hip, his fingers digging into your skin possessively. You could feel his breath on your neck, his lips hovering just above the place where your pulse raced beneath the surface.
“I want you, Y/N,” he whispered against your skin, his voice raw, filled with the desire that had been simmering between you for what felt like forever. “And I’m not letting anyone else have you.”
His words sent a shiver down your spine, and before you could think better of it, your hands were in his hair, pulling him closer, your body aching for the contact you’d been denying yourself for so long.
Your lips collided with his in a heated rush, all the pent-up tension and desire finally unraveling between you. Rafe’s hands immediately gripped your hips, pulling you impossibly closer as he kissed you like he’d been waiting for this moment forever. His lips were demanding, rough and hungry, but there was a softness to the way he held you, like he wanted to savor every second. You melted into him, fingers tangling in his wet hair, feeling the slickness of the pool water on his skin as his body pressed against yours.
The taste of him, mixed with the faint tang of chlorine, was intoxicating. It was all-consuming, drowning out every rational thought. He kissed you like he was staking his claim, like he wanted to erase any trace of doubt from your mind, and for a moment, you let him. Your body responded instinctively, arching against his as his hands roamed down your back, gripping you tighter.
When you finally broke apart, both of you gasping for air, Rafe’s forehead rested against yours, his eyes dark with desire and something deeper—something more vulnerable. His chest heaved as he looked at you, his breath coming in ragged bursts. “I like you, Y/N,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. “I like you so much it drives me crazy. No more pretending.”
You stared into his eyes, searching for any hint of the cocky facade he usually wore, but it was gone. This was Rafe stripped bare, no teasing, no arrogance—just raw honesty. It made your heart race in a way that had nothing to do with the kiss.
Your breath caught in your throat as you considered what he was saying. Could you trust him? Could you really let your guard down and give in to this, knowing how easily he could hurt you?
But before you could overthink it, he kissed you again, slower this time, more deliberate. His lips moved against yours with a tenderness that made your chest ache, and all your doubts melted away. At that moment, it didn’t matter what had happened before, or what might happen after. All that mattered was how he made you feel right now—wanted, desired, seen.
Rafe pulled back, his thumb brushing gently against your bottom lip, his eyes flicking between yours. “Tell me you feel it too,” he whispered, his voice rough, almost pleading. “Tell me I’m not the only one. Tell me, princess.”
You swallowed hard, your heart hammering in your chest. There was no point in pretending anymore. “You’re not,” you admitted, your voice barely a whisper. “You drive me crazy, Rafe, too—I don’t want to feel this way, but I do.”
His lips curved into a small, triumphant smile, but there was relief in his eyes too, like he’d been holding his breath, waiting for you to say it. “Good,” he murmured, his hand cupping your face as his thumb stroked your cheek. “Because I don’t think I can let you go.”
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#why did a friend of my ex follow me on instagram#i literally never use that account bc its only for texting classmates#there are 0 posts what r u following for bud#i mean.. alright ig#honestly idk how i have a few followers on there#only a couple of them im actually friends with too#the rest r ppl i literally do not know#and one is someone who sexually harasses a friend.. should probably remove that one bc of that#also one of them is someone whos brother hates me????#i dont understand instagram.. like at all#i used to do a lot of art stuff on there n i sorta understand the art community on there but like.... irl instagram stuff is so weird#half of my school is following everyone else#i only follow the burger stand lol#mainly so i know when theyre selling good stuff
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