#maybe instead of being mean to beginners we should have genuine advice

[3-inch-sam]

when did it become "stop doing x!!!" instead of "tips for drawing x for beginner artists'

[n0bamak1s]

drive you crazy - mai zenin x reader

request: “could you do mai’s reaction to silent treatment? can the read be gender neutral also?” - @hitchsimp

summary: after having to carry mai to the infirmary following the goodwill exchange event, reader finds themself in an argument over mais carelessness. this leads to mai wondering just why she’s so upset over being ignored like this. (genre: enemies to lovers, angst-ish to fluff, oblivious pining)

warnings: mentions of violence, some angst, swearing

word count: 2.2k

a/n: sorry i’ve been kind of slow with writing lately everyone! exams have me pretty busy atm but hopefully i’ll be in less of a slump after i’m done with that. i hope you guys enjoy this in the mean time! also criticism is greatly appreciated bc i’m still kind of a beginner on writing arguments and stuff like that ^_^

mai decided that she hated being ignored.

not that you two were anywhere near best friends or anything, in fact most of the time you guys were at each others throats over something trivial. at least when you guys argued, though, you still acknowledged her presence. she knew you couldn’t stay silent towards her forever, you guys would have to work together eventually, you were teammates of sorts after all.

you had started giving her the cold shoulder not long after the goodwill event. utahime had called you to inform you mai was out of the game, and you had to go retrieve her. you groaned at the idea of having to be her knight in shining armor, but reluctantly began to make your way to the forest that the group had split up in.

by the time you found her lying on the grass, unconscious, you were already irritated as you cursed whoever made these uniforms so stiff to run in. you crouched down to get closer to her level, lightly shaking her shoulder in hopes you would stir her awake. when that didn’t work, you rolled your eyes and picked her up, one hand supporting her upper back and the other tucked under her knees.

at first glance to anyone else who may have seen how you carried her, it would almost seem romantic. thought, their opinions would probably change pretty quickly if they saw how you lectured her when she woke up.

she stirred awake and blinked a couple times to adjust to her surroundings before turning to see your very tired and very annoyed face.

“you could’ve just stuck to the plan, you know.” despite the anger clear in your face as you stated at your lap, your voice had a quality of softness to it mai had never heard. before she could get any words out, you interrupted her train of thought and continued talking. “we made that plan for a reason. you knew you weren’t ready to take on maki, so why would you put yourself in danger like that?” you looked up to make eye contact with her, and she noted the subtle hint of gentleness in your eyes, but not before she jumped to defensiveness.

“what the hell makes you think you know why i wanted to fight maki?” she resented your concern in favor of starting an argument with you.

“have you ever considered that maybe you need to think about how your little revenge fantasy ruins our chances of winning this thing.” the warmth in your voice was now gone, replaced with a tone far from sympathetic. “we’ve all worked hard to get a chance to make it somewhere as jujutsu sorcerer, so it would be nice if you at least tried to care.”

for a moment, mai found it hard to come up with some kind of response. of course she knew how hard you worked to get here, not that she’d admit it. so why did she suddenly feel a twang of sympathy at how betrayed your words sounded?

before she could even think of how to counter what you said, you got up from the seat you had been in and strolled out, not even giving her the satisfaction of some kind of goodbye.

you guys weren’t even friends. she thought you were too irritable and you thought she was too full of herself. she shouldn’t care this much about whether or not she had hurt you. this feeling would probably wash over by morning, and you guys would go back to your usual bickering.

it only took one glance at you the next morning to see that, no, the feeling had not washed over.

for one thing, you had completely ignored her when utahime announced you would choose partners for sparring. normally, you would nod to mai wordlessly and stalk off in her direction so you two would spar together. it was the one thing you guys were good at doing together, maybe just because it was a way for you to get your anger out on each other from all the snide comments and annoyed glares you guys exchanges on the daily.

today, however, you turned to noritoshi and asked him if he would be your partner. when mai glanced in your direction, she couldn’t help but notice the soft smile that graced your face when you asked him, nothing like the stoic one you usually had when you guys partnered up.

why should she care about that? you and noritoshi were a couple of hard asses anyway, so why did it bother her so much if you chose to spar him instead?

she was currently paired with miwa, who seemed to quickly catch on to the quick looks she sent in your direction in between the punches thrown.

“did you get in a fight with them or something?” mai didn’t need to hear your name to know who miwa was asking about.

“something like that.” she caught her breath after dodging a kick at her legs. “apparently i’m too ‘careless’” miwa noted how her punches came with more force when talking about it.

“they probably just want you to stop putting yourself in danger, you know?” as much as miwa loved you guys, it was kind of ridiculous how much obvious stuff she had to say just to egg you guys on to make you realize how in denial you were about your care for each other.

“then they could just tell me that. maybe they should follow their own advice about caring.” she huffed annoyedly, eyes wandering back over to you sparring with noritoshi, seeing how you smiled so kindly at him as you helped him up. her eyes lingered on you for just a moment too long, studying the way all the tension in your face seemed to release, with your eyes growing shinier and the corners of your mouth quirking up without a care in the world.

why didn’t you ever smile at her like that?

your ignoring of her continued for the next few days. mai felt herself grow annoyed, because she had no idea how to get under your skin. she didn’t want to admit that she was bored without the pointless arguments, or baseless insults that you guys shared. now, when she joined you with the rest of your classmates for lunch, it was like she was invisible. instead of criticizing her aim during target practice, you would turn to momo and ask her about the new show she was watching, and it was like mai didn’t even cross your mind.

you couldn’t keep this up forever, surely. even when you weren’t trading insults with each other, it was obvious to anyone else how you would bite back calling out her name in concern when she took a particularly hard hit in training. regardless, you were still far too stubborn to admit how you missed talking to her, even if it was just to lecture her about paying more attention to her surroundings while she rolled her eyes about how you had stopped by the infirmary so late just to say that.

why were you so insistent on preaching to her whenever she went and got herself hurt?

it became rather monotonous for your classmates, watching the both of you glance at the other one with soft eyes when you thought no one else was looking. it was exhausting seeing how you guys grew tense at the mention of the other’s name, trying to pass off your embarrassment for anger.

it had been a few days more of dealing with your stubbornness before you finally managed a break from one another with mai and todo going out for a mission together. you knew them to be somewhat of a chaotic duo together, so you hoped this would work to your advantage in giving you a day of rest from all this pointless drama. you knew it was childish, sulking over problems you had caused entirely on your own, but with the time apart, you couldn’t help but become just a little bit self pitying. it was only natural when you had messed up your chances with the girl you liked because you were too scared to admit your feelings to yourself.

wait, what?

you probably would have sat and soaked up your startling revelation (well, startling to you at least) before you were abruptly interrupted by a knock on the door of your dorm room, followed immediately by a call of your name by miwa. she said something about needing help patching up mai, and you hated yourself for how quickly you sprung up from the spot you had been lounging on your bed. ignoring the strangely knowing look miwa gave you, you picked up your pace to the infirmary, feeling much more limber in your lounge clothes. it was hard not to notice the contrast between the last time you spoke in the infirmary when you swung open the door without even a knock, your eyes flooded with concern.

before mai even had a chance to process your disheveled state from running all the way to the infirmary, you spoke to her for the first time in a week.

“i’m sorry.” your voice was breathless as you leaned against the doorframe.

instead of pointing out the obvious fact that you had suddenly decided to speak to her again, she just adjusted herself so she sat up in the stiff infirmary bed, choosing to point out another obvious fact. “you know it wasn’t your fault i got hurt.” her words made you feel like a dunce, but her tone was earnest, genuine.

“but maybe if i hadn’t been ignoring you i could’ve been there to help you out.” made your way towards her so you sat at the edge of the bed, grabbing a small roll of bandages and leaning down slightly to observe where any injuries remained. “i should’ve been there to help you out.”

she raised an eyebrow. “i don’t need you to protect me.”

“i know that,” until then, you had your eyes trained on the papery sheets adorning the bed, but when you met her eyes, she could see the heartfelt look in your eyes “, but i want you to be able to rely on me.”

you broke eye contact momentarily, reaching for her slightly bloodied hand to wrap, resting it loosely in yours. your fingers settled around her palm so gently as you wrapped the bandages, she noted. it became difficult for you to stay focused with how her eyes watched you so intently.

was she smiling?

“quit beating yourself up over stuff like that.” her voice was hardly above a whisper as she leaned forward, using her good hand to brush away some stray hairs that had fallen in your face. “whenever you’re not there to protect me, you’re always the first one to ask what happened, the first one to come running with bandages, the first one to tell me to take care of myself.”

then she gave you that knowing look. the same one miwa had given you when you rushed to the infirmary, the one noritoshi had given you when you glanced her way during sparring, hell now that you thought of it, the same one todo had given you when he and mai had been paired up for a mission. the once small and nearly undetectable smile gracing her features grew into what was the closest thing you had ever seen to a grin from her. had her face been this close to yours the whole time?

“because i just drive you crazy, don’t i?” her eyes were half lidded as they stared deeply into yours. you couldn’t even be brought to deny her teasing, just nodding meekly at her announcement.

she leaned in close to you, if she just tilted her head, you guys could’ve been kissing.

“that’s good you know.” her voice was so quiet that you were sure had you been any further away, you’d never have heard it. “since i’d be lying if i said i didn’t miss you and that stick up your ass when you were avoiding me.”

you chuckled quietly, tilting your head down so it rested on her shoulder as you did, causing her to let out a soft laugh herself.

“you kind of scare the shit out of me sometimes mai.” you lift your head back up to look her straight in the eye. “but i think i’d lose it if i spent any longer pretending to hate you.”

it’s just for a split second, but in that split second you felt as if you two are the only people in the world. you barely even had to move before your lips brushed up against hers. it’s almost timid, the way you kiss her, as if she’s made of glass. despite your delicacy with her, she’s quick to lean in, as if she’s chasing the feeling of your lips on hers. her bandaged hand that still rests in yours squeezes your hand tightly in reassurance. when she pulls away breathlessly, her cheeks are flushed pink and her face is painted with a smile that you can’t help but swell with pride from knowing you’re the reason it happened.

that same knowing look is back on your classmates’ faces later that same day as they note you and mai exchanging wide smiles they had never seen from either of you as you made your way through the halls of school.

[haeroniel-doliet]

gah another 5 am post eh fellas

fuck i really wanna do ballet. i really rarely become obsessed (if ever) with anything, but for once i’m so so so so soso wanting to do ballet. so bad. i know i might hate it bc im fucing not musical at all, so not in shape, so not comfortable or etc. but at least im 18,(wait fuck 19 now)  and not 45 trying to get in it all stiff and stuck and i think based on all the sweet positivity to adult ballet starters beginners and sure i wont perform professionally but fuck man i dont think i need that. i just want that grace and flexibility and elegance and gah itd be fabulous. i mean even now im pretending to look for turn out and walk around the house like they do in point shoes and i try fix my posture tothe advice by a ballet dancer youtuber who ive been watching so much of. i just i really wanna do it. 

saddest fucking thing is guys, that i could’ve had the chance to go to the fucking royal ballets adult absolute beginner classes. in london. i could have. fuck. u wanna know what happened? i found out about it like a month or two ago and was fucking psyched bc its one of those things that just is too good to be true. the best company in uk?? w adult classes? while im in london?? yeah id have to miss a few weeks bc. whoops i gotta go back up to do my exams,but i couldve at least done a few weeks, come back and done a few last so i’d have had the best opportunity to give this a go in the best environment and then have a kindling to go off with to other available ballets. and not start with some barely managing person in a shitty studio thing. idk. sure so i tell my parents so fuckin excited bc look! its possible! but yeah its expensive, wouldve been abt 90 pound w me being a student and id have to miss 3/10 classes. but still! thin of it gah its making me so sad happy. sad bc guess its now sold out. of fuckin course it is. i told my mom and she just was uhmm ohh i dunno i dunno, oh its adults i could do it, and thinking that maybe getting her involved would mean i have a better chance of going, dont care much for her company but if shed take it as a bonding thing hell, i’ll probably do better than her in class and minor confidence boost as well as if they all others are old old i wont be alone. and she could pass over what they learned when im up in scotland. Guess that was a fuckin mistake. she got all nervous and self concious and put it off with a we’ll see we’ll see about it im thinking. and making it a whole thing like instead of me wanting to go so bad and offering for fun that shed join me, as if im trying to pressure her into doing it and would only go along to make her feel better. uh.... fucking wrong! im so mad actually. bc of course, no matter how often i mentioned it she wouldnt take it seriously to even consider booking me in! no no of course not we’ll see. and then i check before im coming back, dreading and being right that yep. theyre fucing sold out. of course they are its such a fanstastic opportunity! my only fucking opportunity! when ever again am i going to live in london with weeks free to go participate in that? when ever again? never. theyre moving out of london this summer and fuck. just doing some research and the scottish ballet is in fucking glasgow. yes i was supposed to get there if i hadnt been so shit with studying for my exams. (sure i wouldnt be doing archery and wouldnt have all the other wonderful things i now enjoy in aberdeen but fuck its frustrating) and ofc. aberdeen seems to have: one shady dance company that offers ballet fusion. not adult ballet classes. another shady school that practices at robert gordons that have no website nothing. no info how to sign up or if they have adult classes or when its so stupid and weird. maybe ill have to contact them directly idk. sure my uni has a what seems to be a thriving dance society that i have a glitched out membership for. (its 50 pound a year and i have cerrainly not paid that) and i guess they do ballet on the side. but again from a glance around, looks its only intermediate. not beginners. dont think theres that many uni age girls who just wanna start ballet now. 

so it looks bleary. even in finland, i cant understand body parts in finnish so that might just be frustrating if i could even find a place that offers it. not that i’ll have long at all in finland. ill be there barely a month before heading back to uni and i come back holidays. if i wanted to take one of these eleven week courses, i think id have to geta fuckin liscence and a car and drive to glasgow 3 hrs both ways for a class once a week and that sjust stupid. im so fucking mad about this missed opportunity. like my muscles are itching and aching to do it. my legs want to work out in ballet positions. they just rly do. yeah maybe ill have to start doing barre at home from videos to try ease that, but its not gonna be the same and ill do it all wrong bc i have no teacher to direct me or anything. correct either. sure if i had done it and loved it i might still be mad that i have no opportunities to continue like i want to, but at least id have that expereince and could keep practicing at home based off of it.  i am genuinely upset okay. upset betrayed disappointed sad twitchy and ugh. sure tickets go on sale today to swan lake after exams. and by fuck will i go see it. and ill get all the background before it and know it inside and out before i see it (already kinda do) and i will love it. ill bemaybe more upset and more twitchy that i cant do it, that i cant be lie them and that rly sucks. i really really wish by some miracle the school would offer summer courses so that i could just, get myself after exams into one. also another frustrating thing not quite so pressing on my mind is how my dad wants me to get summer jobs, maybe even two. one here and one in finland. sure it should theoretically be easier getting it here, esp. since im 19 now and yeah. i could work in a cafe or store just to get money and have smth to put on a cv thats not 2 weeks. but i dunno i dont particularly want to, i was hoping in london i could get the most of it culturaly (considering ive been a pouting and sad whailer whos not done anything for the last two years) then again i have p much no friends here so if i did go work somewhere theres a slight chance thered be someone i get along with and could hang out w. or visit if i needa back in london. i dunno. things are weird. sure i could try get an admin job w nhs like some lady suggested but its one of those too much responsibilty things, consdiering im shit with work i kinda would prefer to do some physical job like stacking shelves in a shop bc im good at that. but thats not gonna help me in the future. money yes, but cv building or careers wise? nah. i should owrk in hospitality or smth i dunno even i can barely get thru my work to pass rn so  i dunno about job searching. im jsut a mess am i not. regardless maybe i should look if theres other ballet schoolsin london. be desperate, get a job and a ballet class going over summer and do art on the free time i guess. 

okay so fer now ive found a course for like fucking 156 pound thats a 2 day full days course that looks mad cool for having different classes to learn vocab and etc and then a bit of fucking swanlake like yooo.. best thing its in like july but thats also possibly bad bc its july 28-29 and july 30 we move out. man it could be cool tho. then they offer there as well a taster session p much every other week and then a full 8 weeks of class p near by to me. sure this is specifically taught by a man and id prefer a woman but, i guess. since its ideal timing and place. and i got wondering why thats 150 and the national ballet wouldve been abt 90 and i guess there i get concession and it wouldve been only 6 classes considering the dates they had off. i should rly ask if they do do concession bc 150 is a bit steep still. for 8 classes thats almost 20 pound for 75 mins. its kinda insane. theres probably more companies i havent looked at but there is one other thats like a drop in thing 10 pound cash each class and thats a 90 mins so it might be better. ofc. obv. fault being that its drop in so being an absolute beginner w likely a lot older adults idk how id fit in or keep up or get hte most of it. i think ill go try it once regardless. then when back in abdn ask around for taster sessions and beginner ballet. worst comes to worst i wait another 4 years till i get to a big enough city that they have a nice ballet company and somewhere i can live like an adult but also get in on adult ballet and enjoy myself. maybe my industrial placement city will have  a ballet company idk. 

all i know is that im a bit obsessed and everyone says to go for your dreams etc. and as much as i enjoy archery (slowly gonna dedicate to it) and aikido (though training can be frustrating and training with old men isnt that fun) and ice skating is another less of a dream but in the same realm as ballet. that im gonan get new skates for and give it a better try. i just think ballet could  be so fucking rad and im sad that its not so easy rn. and that my mom fucked me over. for that one course that couldve been cheap and amazing and mindchanging. to go to the ballet knowing what some of it feels like would be great. sure id love  a chance to do some after as well u know. ofc it sucks it might cost a couple hundred over summer to these hobbies and i feel iffy spending 180 on a quality waterproof jacket. sure. they spend it but, im v concientious and dont wanna spend much of their money esp cus im not making my own. i guess logically, i should put a bunch of effort to getting thru this term rly well without lies and get a sumemr job. that way, i could theoretically take loan from my parents  and pay back with summer job money w some left over to do as i like with (yeah i should save it for sensible shit but idk) also considering how nice i am my dad might not even want me to pay back. look i dunno. thats an idea. be good, be rewarded w ballet classes and an unstrained relationship w my parents, joyously move back to finland and start next term w a clean slate, hopefully more help and new determination into hobbies. maybe i wanna do 4 sports since i never did much as i was younger. tho sure, i did aikidos cousin taekwondo. ive shot a bow and arrow whenever i had a chance. ive skated since literally like 3 yrs old. and i used to take a form of dance a alot younger. sure no musicality but i think the exercises would be great for my knees and legs and butt and torso and posture. htese are fun sports since i dont like to work out. and since im not comfortable enough in myself to go swim. 

[cindyfelicia]

Hi, I hope you’re doing well!! I was just wondering if you read comics? If so could you recommend some/ how to start getting into them? I want to start reading them, but it’s so stressful trying to figure out where to start. Also I love you blog!

Hi there! you’re all manners of sweet and kind thank u my advice abt approaching comics is going for solo runs first, this is how I, personally, did it and it’s way easier than jumping in on team books, or worse events bc they tend to be messier and need more bg info and pre-existing knowledge than a comic that focus on just the one character; I also feel it’s good to start with current or at least recent comics, you can always read the old stuff when you’re better acquainted with how comics work and which characters, artists and writers you like (or can tolerate).

actual recs under the cut because this got so long

i was gonna do a whole list of mcu characters’ solos because most people entry point to comics rn is superhero movies, and hmu if you want that, but instead I think I’m gonna rec you some good comics that are either separated enough from main marvel continuity as to be intelligible without extensive info gathering, or I just think they’re great and worth a bit of confusion (part of starting out reading comics is not knowing fully wth is going on sometimes, but stiking with it for some good art or for characters you love -I’m not gonna go so far as to say for good writing bc that’s just not realistic):

if you like yourself some spider-people:- silk (2015) and vol 2 (2016) are my absolute favorites- I’m not very much into spiderman but I read renew your vows  and it’s lovely,  it’s just not a main universe comic it’s an au where things are as, imo, they should be with ye old web slinger, and it’s good for getting your feet wet in the huge pool of spider-man comics;- I love miss jessica drew (spider-woman) but her solo is……. questionable if someone has a good jess drew intro rec pls tell me so I can pass it on, - miles morales has been written badly in more ways than one but I love him so I suffer, I can direct you without scruples only to his novel tho, absolutely lovely and not written by brian michaelbendis lmao- anya corazon is a really good character that marvel loves to forget it has, let’s not make the same mistake;- black widow 2014 and 2016 and bw: the name of the rose are all good comics (I know technically nat isn’t a spider person but like nothing about spider-woman’s powers screams ‘spider’ either so..

for wakanda I’d say good recent start-ups would be: - black panther (2016), - black panther: world of wakanda (w/ a lesbian couple as protag), - and rise of the black panther (ongoing)

some non x-men team books that are easier to approach as a beginner imho:-young avengers vol 2 (vol 1 has its moments if you want to start from the beginning with them but a lot of it involves the civil war arc and stuff.. also some characters die, the art is less good and I want to protect people from 17’s yo cassie lang’s nipples poking through her shirt.. I wish someone had protected me tbh) -I want to rec some Runaways but besides the current run (which is alright) there’s a lot to be said against the writing in most of the rest of them maybe vol 1? to have the origins pinned down-I feel like after a small read through of what exactly the hell was going on with secret wars you could approach A-Force vol 1 and the first half of vol 2 (the second half ties in with civil war II and I’m not touching that mess) and that and avenger world and sometimes secret avengers to me are good avengers books-she hulk 2014 and totally awesome hulk are my greens of choice but if you want an intro to bruce banner idont actually know, sorry-for the asgardians: thor 2014 and it’s follow up mighty thor, thor: god of thunder, angela: asgard’s assassin and its sequel angela: queen of hel, and loki: agent of asgard are my pick of this crop-we also have Fun here at marvel comics on occasion and both patsy walker aka hellcat and squirrel girl are nice in their own way although the latter isn’t really my thing

some follow up on the young avengers:- hawkeye (2013) an absolute fan favorite, good to discover that actually clint barton was a good character it’s that the avengers movies are just bad and hate people with disabilities- a couple of follow-ups to that (x) (x) and the kate bishop solo all pretty nice- america chavez’s solo (I’m just here to suggest gay comics, that’s almost all I read really)

I want to rec Champions to people but frankly it’s just a long series of event interruptions and bullshit interspersed with a couple of nice moments so far, so I’m gonna rec you some kids that are in the champions and have solos I haven’t already mentioned:- kamala khan’s book is probably my favorite ongoing series at marvel right now about any non-mutant char, I cannot say enough good about it,- nova is nice,- miles morales (spider-man) and amadeuscho (totally awesome hulk) are also there but I’ve already mentioned themalso in this house we love and respect elektranatchiosand any other attitude just isn’t tolerated.

on to the x-men, gotta love those guys, you just gotta:- like I said I prefer to tell people to start from recent comics but with the xmen that’s so difficult? it’s been 10+ bad years for them because of the movie rights situation and just marvel being shit in general, so my one recent team book to approach the x-men is prob x-men ‘92? because its based off of the xm animated series so you don’t have to straightaway deal with some mutant plague, eugenics plots, and other catastrophic events, but you can still get to know more of the char we all love - I want to say generation x vol 2, it’s not a good starting point for anything really but I love it so so much I had to mention it even tho it was cancelled and I’m still angry as hell about it.

the solo situation is better. I’m gonna be able to breathe without tasting my own bile while I type this, hurray!-all new wolverine follows laura kinney as she takes up the mantle from logan-iceman, good solid comic abt coming out and ice puns, who doesn’t like bobby really-jean grey, yes she’s a teen girl in this, yes it’s weird and I hate de-aging characters but it’s nice to see her train with different mutants, struggling with the incoming phoenix force and her adult self’s shadow, not really great entry point to jean grey but id read it anyway-if you were into the 00’s xmen movies like me, or at least a normal person’s amount the phoenix recently returned and with her adult!jean grey, it was a good book for me and good if you want to later start reading the actual phoenix saga (which is a lot of material so starting small with this might help) -I love wandamaximoff and despite what they’ve done to the maximoffs in order to bring them into the mcu (was it worth it for that result btw? really?) her recent book was good and I genuinely loved it -storm’s solo is so good, you’re gonna fall in love with an het ship and you’re not gonna regret it either-rogue and gambit, is ongoing and it’s good to get a little acquainted with these characters but mostly it’s about explorign their relationship

I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot of good x-men content atm but I can’t stop thinking I need to mention that there are ongoing series you could pick up its just.. I hate them.. some started out promising (xmen gold, astonishing xmen), but they’ve not developed in good directions imo, but I still feel they should be mentioned, there’s also a weapon x comic if you want to go for a more bloody kind of book and xmen blue if you like time displaced teens or something? god its bad

jeez this is so so long and guess what? I haven’t even finished yet.. there’s some excellent indie comics out there and with those you really don’t need to worry abt knowing any 30 years old lore or anything you pick them up and they explain themselves like any other normal media out there, I know, be still my heart:

- lumberjanes is my absolute favorite, a little corny, but so much fun and cuteness and if I could go back in time I’d give it to my little bi self so she’d know she’s not alone and anything I feel that ways about has a special place i my heart js

- Motor crush, there really isn’t any other comic book with a black lesbian as protagonist out there that I can think of, good if you’re into motorcycles but if like in my case that threatens to put you to sleep, it also has a sci-fi streak and solid character work, you won’t regret giving it a try

- moonstruck, cute non-white gay werewolves and other mythological creatures are there, I feel this cathers to me specifically every time I open it?? bless

- Hi-Fi fight club or heavy vinyl (they changed the title) if you want a period piece that’s fun and cute and gay (I meant it about me reading only gay comics as you can tell)

- saga, for a space, well ya know.. saga I feel that I can describe it as romeo and juliet in space with added racial commentary except they don’t kill themselves, I have to say not my favorite but you might stick with it for the characters, I sure do

- the wicked + the divine, I feel very much the same about this as I do about saga, only this is mythology based so like.. I sold my soul to it, but please do tread with care there’s a lot of deaths in it and so many of these dead people are gays and/or poc.. I’m none too pleased about it and I’d understand anyone not wanting to pick it up, I mean the deaths are basically in the premises of the books but that doesn’t change the end result..

lastly like I said dc is not my area of expertise but I’ve been following with pleasure both batwoman and green lanterns, and mr miracle was an amazing comic so I thought I’d mention them

[humanpursuits]

Portraits, Dreams, and Me: A Complete Beginner’s Guide to Film Photography

VANCOUVER, B.C. – In autumn 1975, Wendy Ewald embarked on a bold photographic experiment.

The Detroit native had recently relocated to rural Kentucky, renting a small house on Ingram’s Creek, in southeastern Letcher County. As Ewald tells it, in PBS’ great new documentary, Portraits and Dreams, she was the first outsider to ever move into the area. That didn’t stop her from quickly establishing ties to the community. Soon, she found herself teaching photography to the community's 4th graders.

Being the 1970’s, the children’s lessons focused solely on film photography. Ewald taught them how to compose and capture an image, but also how to develop and print it. A rare skill set for any 9-year-old, the lessons gave students a chance to express themselves in ways previously unthinkable. The resulting photographs present Ingram’s Creek with a sort of fantastical-realism. Dreams and imagination blend with everyday realities of rural living. Adult issues, such as poverty and substance use, are relegated beyond the frame, giving the students freedom to explore their own thoughts and feelings. As Ewald explains to the audience, “Having a camera gives anyone power, but especially children.”

 That's certainly been my finding.

While I would never call myself a photographer, I’ve been shooting pictures on film for over 10 years. In 2009, I purchased my first film camera, the Diana Mini, using my Urban Outfitters staff discount. Essentially a toy, the Mini served as a low-fi, low budget introduction to photography, creating colourful, high contrast images in either a square or rectangle format. The camera’s cheap parts often over-complicated what was supposed to be a simple process. Photos would turn out blurry or muddy, and Edmonton developers would struggle to properly print the unusual square format photos. At times, it felt like I was throwing money into a mini incinerator.

 It wasn’t all bad. For every two rolls that didn’t turn out, one would. The more photos I took, the more I came to understand Diana’s quirks. I learned that my best photos tended to be taken in the afternoon with plenty of light. I learned which developers were comfortable processing the camera’s unconventional format. Slowly but surely, the image in my mind’s eye started to appear in the finished product, albeit inconsistently.

In the decade since, film photography has undergone a resurgence, becoming the de facto hobby for society’s cool and cultured. Included in the film pantheon are celebrities like Frank Ocean and Kendall Jenner, the latter of whom single-handedly increased demand for the Contax T2 after showing it off to Jimmy Fallon. While their snaps have certainly helped to cultivate an air of mystique and authenticity, the true-believer in me likes to think that celebrities shoot film for the same reason anyone else would. Because it scratches their creative itch. Because it gives them a chance to make their perceptions permanent.

 Ewald’s relationship with her students is at the centre of Portraits and Dreams, but so too is the group’s relationship with the medium. Though life led them in different directions, the former students all share one thing in common: they’re still taking pictures. “Pictures, to me, it helps you hold onto your memories.” says former pupil Delbert Shepard at one point. “You’re able to pull back the good memories and let go of the bad ones.” 

With this in mind, here’s a complete beginner’s guide to film photography (with particular advice for people in Vancouver/Canada). 

Tools of the Trade

Perhaps the biggest barrier to film photography is knowing which camera to use. Having grown from uninformed novice to imperfect amateur, I can tell you the unvarnished truth: it really doesn’t matter. I shot on a Diana Mini because it was the first film camera I saw that I could afford. Your first camera could (and probably should) be different from that, but don’t let gear distract you.

In his highly encouraging book, Steal Like an Artist, writer/artist Austin Kleon explains that it’s easy to feel like a phony or an imposter when setting out into a new creative field. Learning a new skill is sometimes awkward or uncomfortable. You know what’s not awkward or uncomfortable? Scouring YouTube or Reddit for camera recommendations. But while a good Google search can alleviate discomfort, it will do you a disservice in the long run. Don’t do it. If you take one thing from this article, let it be this: the best camera is one you want to use and is, ideally, right in front of you. 

 That said, I would encourage complete beginners to start shooting with a disposable camera. The reason for this is three-fold. First, disposable cameras are cheap–for $15 you get everything you need to shoot, including the flash. Second, disposables are idiot proof. You don’t need to worry about loading film, or setting the aperture, or even taking off the lens cap. It’s literally point and shoot. Third, disposable cameras can be given to most box store photo-processing centres for development with no-hiccups or special costs. This includes big box chains like Walmart, or my personal favourite, London Drugs.

If this sounds too easy, that’s because it’s supposed to be. At this point, your only goal should be to take photos. You don’t get bonus points for suffering, or for slamming your head against the wall. Seriously. If disposable cameras are good enough for Dua Lipa, they’re good enough for you. Shoot a couple rolls, then maybe look into buying your own rig (second-hand, of course). 

Quality > quantity

Once your camera is locked and loaded, the real fun begins.

 In an earlier draft of this essay, I wrote that a benefit of film is that it tends to inject photos with a certain degree of style. I still think that’s true. Film looks different from the majority of what we’re exposed to on a given day, meaning your images will have a natural allure. But with great power comes great responsibility. Film is finite, meaning even novice photographers need to make some tough decisions.

Most crucially, what do you want to photograph? In On Being a Photographer: A Practical Guide, David Hurn argues the best photographers are “enthusiastic and knowledgeable about their subject matter” and plan ahead of the actual shooting. This applies to professional photogs, sure. But Hurn’s advice also extends to novices. He gives the example of a mother photographing their child at the beach, writing: “Eighty-five percent of all the ingredients of photography are encompassed by this single act. The mother has an intimate knowledge of her subject… She is enthusiastic in her love of the subject… Her job is simply to record the moment.” In other words, stick to what you know. Take pictures of your friends and family. Maybe try your hand at a cheeky photo-dump. Just make sure whatever you’re shooting sparks genuine interest.

 On the matter of composition, I again point to Hurn, who believes photography consists of two fundamental elements: where you stand and when you release the shutter. The former, Hurn writes, can be predetermined, but the latter is largely a matter of chance (e.g., you can stand in front of the ocean, but you can’t control when the wave crashes). Because of this, the complete beginner is better off prioritizing quality over quantity. Focus on a single subject for multiple frames, rather than trying to capture multiple scenes. If you’re really bold, try shooting everything from a single spot, and adjusting the angle of your lens as you go.

When your roll is spent, get it developed. For beginners, that means paying a visit to your local 1-hour photo, such as London Drugs (LD). When you drop off your disposable/film tell them you want to get it processed and scanned. This keeps LD from printing your photos right away. Instead, they’ll send you a link to the scans, which are Instagram-ready. Seems like a small thing, but it will keep your costs low, and get your Likes flowing sooner. You can always print any favourites from the roll using LD’s online software.

Horizon Lines

With your first set of scans back from the shop, it’s time for a cool down period. Start with some self-reflection. Divide your photos into two groups: ones that worked, and ones that didn’t. Focus on the ones that didn’t–what’s off about them? Sometimes the answer is something simple, like you needed to use the flash. In other cases, the issue isn’t immediately clear. No matter. Use this as a reference to improve your work.

 When you’re finished, try to find further sources of inspiration. In particular, bypass Instagram and invest in a high-quality photo book. Classics include Robert Frank’s The Americans, Annie Leibovitz’s Photographs, or Vancouverite Fred Herzog’s Modern Colours (photography, like most creative fields, suffers from a lack of diversity). Take heart that, at one point, these household names were complete beginners. Any notoriety occurred, because they took the first step. It’s like Delbert Shepard tells his former teacher in Portraits and Dreams: “[Photography] taught me the meaning of life and that there were no boundaries to what we could do and couldn’t do. It’s whatever we set our mind to.” 

Watch Portraits and Dreams for FREE via PBS (VPN required)

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