#idk. i had a very hard time as a trans kid and i was very sad and angry and hurt pretty much all the time
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i love being transgender so much actually. like my transgender friends and lovers and chosen family have brought me so much joy. my transgender body delights me + i love my top surgery scars. even despite everything i'm so glad i came out when i did and it's not like I chose to be trans, but I would choose it again + again + again because it has been worth it.
#personal#trans#talking to a trans kid today and i was having so many emotions about like#idk. i had a very hard time as a trans kid and i was very sad and angry and hurt pretty much all the time#bc of the violence that surrounded me#anyway. and they asked me if i would have done it different. knowing now#and i wouldn't have because despite it all. that fucking hell#i can't imagine who i would be. because it's important to me. that i did choose every single day#to survive that and that i chose to find a way to make trans being joyful. despite it all!#and that matters to me and that has shaped me and that just!#it's important to me.#not that there is anythign wrong with staying in the closet. for safety or any reason#to be clear
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Idk if this is a huge request or not, but could you explain more about Bell? (The shitten in your au)
I would be thankful, take care.
Yeah, ive done like... 3 pieces of her max but she gets SO many asks lol. the story isn't really ready for her yet, and i'd like to finish what im working on before i do more with her, but i'll give the basic rundown.
she LITTERALY started as a joke baby post but she got so much interaction i said i'd expand on her design and now she seems to just have a following of simps (oops, like lamb like daughter)
most of the old ideas for ewen and nari with her are out of date now on the art, but heres a bunch of plot and some unposted sketches under cut
Nari and Ewen are married and leading the cult still. all the siblings have kids, grandkids and even great grandkids (excluding shamura). Its only after they decide having a child is someone for them to love and raise, not someone who they're forcing the cycle of trauma on that they have Bell. And they adore her. While growing up, one by one, the former bishops, all her aunts, uncles, and shamura decided it was time to peacefully end their long lives. So she sees death as a good thing, the satisfying end to a long life story. So when Ewen and Narinder are ready to die together, even though they say she doesn't have to, she takes on the crown and ends if for them with a last "i love you" between them. She runs the cult now which is more themed around their shared neck wound "rings" and their relationship than just the lamb. She's called "the black sheep" by her followers (or queen if they're kinky, princess when shes younger). she wields the crown as a pair of horns and a sythe, sine the cult of the black rings also referenced Ewen's large black horns and she keeps up the theme.
Baal and Aym are her "brothers" (more of her body guards and technically her cousins but she refuses to call them anything else) and her body guards, staying after their master's death. They've known her since she was a baby and still treat her as one sometimes. She's VERY protective over them, but also will bully them sometimes, like kicking their asses when training and saying they're just going easy on her like when she was a kid, knowing full well she's overpowered by the crown.
Because shes such an oddity, the mystic seller assigned one of their followers to keep an eye on her and, much like her "ba ba" she found the overpowered demigod shes now obsessed with. With some help from Ewen before they passed, they were able to translate their glyphs. Now that helper follows her around disguised as a poor imitation of a regular mortal to better understand her and the mortal realm. Or at least thats what she convinced them to do since she wants them around <3 probably not to their masters liking lol. I haven't decided on a name yet. Bell eventually give them the purple crown (they/it)
Before they left, Narinder was trying to reawaken the crowns, whether for the memory of his siblings, or that the cult was growing too large to be centered on the red crown. They're not very powerful right now and Bell is the leader of the others, more like a babysitter.
The blue crown is with Kalliope (kalli for short) (she/her), a distant relative of Kallamar's who had to fight, both physically and socially, with all her other of age relatives to get the chance, since Kallamar's polycule made a LOT of kids and grand kids. She's kind of bitchy about it and whines about everyone not respecting her or how hard she worked. shes a flamboyant cuttlefish and trans femme. also the crown is worn like an earring. Bell has little tolerance for her and they have a lot of bitchy girl fights.
The green crown is with isop (a kinda combo of isopod and aesop) (he/him) who is a rubber ducky isopod. he's Leshy's great great grandkid, and really only god the crown because no one else on the peaceful forest farm leshy put together in his later years really wanted it and figured it meant free babysitting. he's pretty young and small with a fascination for chaos and violence that only little kids without developed social perception can have, though he more watches at this point. The others tend to carry him or he rolls around in a little ball. The crown is worn like glasses.
The orange crown is with Mycelia (lia for short) (they/them plural) who is a homunculus mushroomo made through experimentation by Heket and Sozo before they died. they're the only one who is actually older than Bell. They're undying because they're a hive mind of all the mushroomo, who have been progressively growing. They can see everything the others see, can spout new bodies when needed and even feed on their own dead bodies. Bell sometimes just kills them when they're frustrated with them or other things. They'd be a threat but they're very monotone and emotionless about pretty much everything and don't care. They've worked with the red crown just because death is a natural boon to fungus and keeps them alive. The orange crown is worn as a necklace.
Heres some sketches since I haven't been able to get the designs to my liking but people keep asking so :T
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could you please explain how you think rose's gender/gender presentation works (i really like your interpretations of these things and. also rose lalonde)
YUEESSS. i have posts sprinkled about my blog at varying levels of understanding of rose's character. i can summarize the recent one better now.
rose was flexing her punk muscles when she got in the game, her alternative and contrarian wardrobe is a stark contrast to her mother's clothing. she totally felt invincible, and she acted and dressed like it too. of course, she was under the thumb of doc scratch at the time, and crashed hard post cascade, but you can kinda see the 180 in clothing style when she tried to be more mature for her date with kanaya.
light colors, drinking to be more closer to her mother who she has complex feelings about, it's very... inline with mainstream fashion trends? not that that's a bad thing, but it's a visual indicator of her thought processes. this is what she thinks is what she SHOULD be doing, wallowing in the regret for the relationships she had with her mom. that's not to say that the date was like,,, cishet in the slightest LMFAO. this happens in parallel to the dirkjake volcano scene. its supposed mean like HEY, these fucked up teens are going about this the wrong way!!! i could analyze that, but the post would be too long.
im a big fan of tfem rose getting a godtier 'cis' body "at the cost of her mother's death". roxy's also a trans girl to me, triptychgardner has a lot of stellar posts about trans woman rose's mom and was rlly who opened my eyes to rose's gender.
in the end, queerness is like... the final revelation every kid starts to come across. doing what is good for YOU, and trying to shake the cultural roles that try to hold back their self actualization. a few posts ago, i was like how does a queer identify what is them and what is beliefs planted in them by society,,, LOL IDK. it just seems like rose would be happier if she was gnc and a studfem.
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would Love to hear the sexuality headcanons
hehe thank you for giving me a chance to yap >:3
friendly reminder that these are all fictional characters and you don’t have to agree with me, just don’t be mean pls
price
token cishet but he has slept with men
experimented when he was younger and came to the conclusion that he likes women
but if he really liked someone he wouldn’t be too bothered by gender
gaz
gay gay homosexual gay
realized his sexuality pretty young but didn’t come out until he was a teenager
his mom caught him googling ‘boys kissing’ when he was 12 and he cried so hard he threw up
his family’s supportive but they still bully him over that
ghost
aromantic/asexual
not romance or sex repulsed, just doesn’t really think about it
wouldn’t mind dating but he’s not going out of his way to meet someone
probably nonbinary but he has a job rn
soap
bisexual
doesn’t have a gender preference but likes buff people
also trans
was a typical ‘tomboy’ when he was younger
it wasn’t until he saw a trans person in a tv show that he realized “oh!! i can do that!”
alejandro
pansexual
it took him forever to come to terms with his sexuality because he grew up in a religious family
but his parents took it surprisingly well
and his siblings just bully him for still being single
like this meme basically:
rudy
gay
spent several years ignoring it and didn’t come out until his twenties
the reaction from everyone was just “we know”
had a crush on alejandro when they were teenagers, until he saw alejandro snort a ramen flavor packet and instantly lost all feelings
graves
bisexual
didn’t accept that he was attracted to men until he was like 30
cried when he watched brokeback mountain for the first time then spent the next decades repressing that feeling
has a very unhealthy relationship with sex but that’s a topic for another time
makarov
aromantic/heterosexual
has no interest in romance, he’s too busy Scheming
is also pretty uninterested in sex unless it’s with someone he knows and trusts
keegan
straight
just loves women idk what else to say
trans guy swag
was hyper feminine as a kid to mask dysphoria
when he came out as a teenager he took a hard turn into more alternative fashions
HE’S T4T- *gets shot*
nikolai
unlabeled
attracted to men and women but could not care less about labeling
nikolai live reaction to being asked if he’s gay/straight/bi:
valeria
bisexual with a preference for women
her type is women and twinks
never had a coming out moment, just brought home her girlfriend one day and her family rolled with it
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Mouthwashing headcanons that I cannot get out of my head;
Organized by character cause I'm normal
Jimmy is at the very bottom so you can skip him if you want.
This bitch is long and took me like two hours to write I wanna lay down...
Curly:
Bisexual Trans man because honestly he has a bit of t-boy swag
For some reason I have convinced myself he's 37. IDK why.
Comes from a pretty big family. He's the second eldest of 8 kids, his older sister is technically only a half sister but still.
He has two moms and one abusive/dead beat dad. Idk I can't explain it I just feel it in my brain that he's got two moms.
He's a mama's boy but in like a good way, not a weaponized incompetence way.
He's technically a nepo baby. His grandfather on his bio-mom's side is a director/board member of Pony Express, thus why Jimmy constantly talks about him "getting his life handed to him on a silver platter". His grandfather actually had nothing to do with him getting the job, as he has a different last name and no one actually realized they were related for a WHILE. He is the reason Curly dreamed of being a space-crafy poilt though.
He smokes cigarettes often. When he gets stressed he smokes a lot more, but he's in denial that it's a problem. Jimmy got him into smoking in the first place, peer preassuring him into it. Jimmy now conviently always seems to have packs of cigarettes on him during hauls when Curly never brings them, specially for when Curly gets stressed. (Not in like a gay way, in like a manipulative way to keep him subconsciously needing Jimmy in some way)
He is surprisingly strict when it comes to "no fraternizing with subordinates". He likes to keep his work and personal life seperate, and especially to not allow any feelings to be developed for any of his crew mates.
His first name is Grant, he was named after his father and eventually grew to hate his first name because of how horrible his father was, but he keeps his first name because his mom likes it on him, it helps her connect better memories to that name instead of the horrible ones his father gave her.
Jimmy was his only friend for a while, which is why he is so die hard about wanting to believe Jimmy is a good guy, plus Jimmy manipulating him for so long to believe Jimmy was the victim of a lot of stuff.
He is a fucking mountain of a man when it comes to muscles. Bro is buff as fuck and scary when he wants to be.
He's been the captain of the Tuplar since he became a captain (roughly 11 years). That ship is his baby.
Anya:
She's omni, if you asked her to really identify her sexuality she would say it's complicated, but she just says she's bisexual.
I feel like she's in her early/mid 30's for some reason? Like 33 at the time of the game. I know realistically she could more so be like, 26-28 (assuming she tried getting into med school the SECOND she was graduating high school)
She's been part of the Tuplar's crew for roughly 4 years, she was transferred to them after getting the medical certification from Pony Express to be an on-board nurse. Before that she had worked with another crew for a while.
She also smokes cigarettes. Significantly less than Curly does, but she still does from time to time. She started after her 4th try into med school, where she then got extremely drunk to cope with failing again, and had drunkenly bought a pack of cigs. She eventually regretted it, but was also in such a low point mentally that she thought "why the hell not" and started smoking regularly. Eventually she smoked more when stressed, which was when she was studying or getting ready for an exam of some kind. Because of this her regular smoking went to her smoking a fuck ton before and after stressful events (mostly tests) because her body has subconsciously attached to that helping her study.
She is an only child. Her mother died when she was a teen, which eventually led to her and her father having an estranged relationship. After her mother's death, her father went into an almost debilitating depressive state, becoming an extreme workaholic and albeit unintentionally neglecting Anya during her teen years. Now-a-days they are doing much better and are trying to reconnect with each other. Her father adores her and becomes devastated when news of her death on the Tuplar eventually reached him.
While Anya is not shy in any way, she is commonly seen as so simply because she keeps to herself a lot.
She worries quite a lot about money since her family didn't make a lot in the first place, and her mother was a big financial gash on them, which led to pretty extreme finance anxiety.
She's actually a big horror fan, especially horror books and often gets a bit too into them and feels like she's being weird about them, but no, she just really likes them.
Her intrest in phycology is spurred on by this, as reading phycology books makes her start to wonder about villian's reasonings. Jimmy would have been an interesting case for her if he hadn't been who he was.
If asked about any of her interests she will start to excitingly info dump, only to get embarrassed and stop, and refusing to continue when told it's fine.
Caffeine addict. She gets ungodly amounts of extra esspresso in any coffee she drinks.
She would read Warrior Cats.
Daisuke:
Pansexual trans guy. You see that Hawaiian shirt? That's peak t-boy swag right there. Lost his mind when he learned Curly was trans too.
Most likely either 20 or 21, making him the baby of the crew. Swansea balks at him every time Daisuke mentions it cause he's the same age as Swansea's kids.
He is autistic, one of the biggest reasons he has trouble figuring out what he wants to do with his life as he physically is not capable of imagining what his life will be like a few months from the present.
He would have been a DeviantArt kid, and an Animal Jam kid.
He gave the whole crew fursonas within the first week of working there. He also gave them ponysonas, but then he threw away Jimmy's after hearing what he said about Polle.
I feel like he has an affinity for small bugs. He loves saving them from being stuck in rooms, and get actually really angry when someone kills one for no reason. He snapped at Jimmy once for smushing an ant that had somehow gotten onto the ship. Reasonably there was no way to save it but Daisuke was still pissed about it.
He has a pretty strained relationship with his mother, even though he is still actively trying to gain her approval. His dad is pretty removed from his life, his dad is there, but anytime Daisuke asks his dad to stand up for him or anything his dad just shrugs and tells him to just talk it out with his mom. His mom doesn't want to talk it out. That's why he tries to get Swansea's approval, and especially feels bad when he gets injured in the vents Swansea specifically told him not to touch. (His cousins are the ones to hold the funeral for him, his mother says she wishes he would have at least done something productive before dying like that. [she's half an asshole, half going through immense guilt])
He is an only child. He had always wanted to be a big brother, and had asked for a little sibling so many times but his parents kept refusing, eventually he stopped asking but he still wished he could have been an older brother.
He has a really weird addiction to root beer.
I can't explain it but I feel like he'd be a big SCP Foundation nerd.
Swansea:
CisHet ally. Everyone is scared he is homophobic when they first meet him, but he knew his kids were gay before they did.
He was a veteran. Ended up getting medically discharged which was one of the things leading him into his alcoholic days.
He has three kids; two daughters and one son.
He has been working on the Tuplar almost as long as Curly. He joined the original original crew about 5 years into Curly being captain.
If Curly wasn't the only one allowed to use the food synthesizer and if they had actual food on the ship he would have been cooking meals for the crew every night to feel like he was at home again.
He pretends to hate it, but his music taste is 90% white girl pop. He also listens to like metal and rock, but still.
A girl dad through and through. His daughters are the world to him. Extra why he was so pissed and passive aggressive with Jimmy after Anya told him what he did to her.
Had a punk 'phase' during his teens. Still punk in beliefs, just not apparencies.
He's one of those old Brexit geezer types.
He and Curly keep betting on football (soccer) whenever not on hauls. Spoiler; Curly keeps losing.
His family and Curly's are actually surprisingly close. Whenever their respective family members are off on hauls during the holidays the two families spend them together.
I like to imagine his wife's name is Ophelia. I can't explain why, I just feel like she has some ethereal real pretty name.
His wife and Curly's moms have girls nights every week. Eventually Anya got roped into them when the ladies learned of her (to Curly's dismay).
He won't admit it, but he acted like a dad even before Daisuke joined the crew. He found himself often looking out for Curly when he thought the younger wasn't taking care of himself.
He has hand made bracelets from all his kids in his dorm. He hides them to keep up the tough guy act.
Jimmy: (cw; mentions of obsession, codependency and referenced suicide)
He thought he was bisexual, but it actually is just a really bad obsession with Curly. Otherwise I chose not to think about his sexuality.
He is the same age as Curly, 37, but maybe a few months younger than him (which is another thing he holds against Curly for some reason).
He joined the Tuplar crew a few years before Anya did, but wasn't promoted to co-pilot until the year Anya joined the crew.
He unironically uses Reddit and 4chan
One of his only hobbies includes doxing kids online.
He is like, the worst kind of brony you could have the misfortune of meeting.
He is an orphan and has been since his pre-teen years. It's what left him with nothing and did horrible things to his mental perception of his life.
He met Curly when they were both about high school age. He instantly became attached to him and would get extremely jealous when Curly would seem to have any other friends beside him.
Because of this he became very manipulative to Curly, constantly playing the victim card and then acting like Curly not believing him meant Curly hated him. This got to Curly pretty bad, and is one of the only reasons they stayed friends for so long.
The only reason he got into weight lifting is because he knew Curly worked out regularly, but it never really entertained him so he barley did it.
He thought he held power over Curly, unbeknownst to him he had actually made himself quite co-dependent on him.
The only reason he started working for Pony Express was because Curly had. He became quite angry though when they were not originally put onto the same crew, and weren't until Curly was promoted to a captain and given his own ship.
This is when he started the "Curly gets whatever he wants and was handed his life" thought, trying to find any way to reason why Curly was promoted so young and fast but he wasn't.
Even with his obsession with Curly, he doesn't spend a lot of time with him outside of hauls. His feelings would filp flop between obsession and disgust towards him. It doesn't help that Curly's family doesn't like him anymore.
He calls Curly 'Grant' because he knows Curly hates it and only ever does it to piss him off and then call him an asshole for getting mad at him, cause they are supposed to be friends, aren't they?
In his mind, if he isn't in some way better than Curly then he is nothing.
It wouldn't be till before he takes his own life that he realizes Curly is his life and has been since they were teens, and that without Curly he felt like he was nothing.
#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#mouthwashing hc#mouthwashing headcanon#tw jimmy#tw suicide#tw sui implied
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You'd Love Me If I Was a Worm, Would You Love Me If I Was A Man?
Santiago Garcia x transman!reader
Masterlist : Triple Frontier Masterlist
Made for the Oscar/Pedro Pride Event
Summary: You're Santi's wife or so he thinks, he loves you very, very much... You're scared to ruin it with honesty.
Or
You come out as trans to Santi
Warnings: Pretty mild, Santi is perfect. Gender dysphoria, body dysphoria, mentions of conversion therapy.
AN: This is just based on my feelings right now. IDK exactly how I identify, but doing things like cutting my hair and dressing more masculine has helped me a lot. No one needs to cut their hair short to be a man, trans or otherwise, nor does a trans person NEED surgery or any changes. This is simply based on my experience. People feel this differently.
1k words
“How’s my favorite girl?”
Santi greeted you as he came home, finding you in your bathroom staring at your face and your body in your underwear, cringing at him calling you a girl but trying to hide the visceral reaction. You hated your hair, you hated how feminine it made you look, but you knew Santi loved it, so you kept it long and usually in a ponytail.No matter how hard you tried, no matter the body positivity, no matter how good you objectively looked and how Santiago worshiped it, none of it felt right to you. You’d been considering telling him how you’d been feeling for some time, but it felt selfish. How could you tell him you thought you might be a man when he fell in love with a woman?
He clocked your cringe, as he always did your discomfort. “What’s wrong, bebita?”
You shake your head. “Nothing, just tired.”
“I don’t believe you for a second, c’mon.” taking your hand, Santi pulls you into the bedroom and sits you down with him, his eyes pleading with you for honesty. “You can talk to me, it’s okay.”
Your eyes fill up with tears, stressing out and over thinking it all so much. “It’s not fair to you.” You begin to cry, and it isn’t. This isn't what Santi signed up for when he married you. He married his wife, not whatever was happening to you right now. You should’ve told him, you should’ve been honest with from the start. “I thought this would go away, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I lied to you!”
Horrified at the tears, Santiago pulls you into his arms. “Oh honey… whatever it is, you can tell me, please. Nothing is too much, you’re my wife, and I’m gonna take care of you, always.”
It couldn’t be hidden anymore. You had to be honest before you wasted more of his time. Pulling back, you look him in the eyes, your own still watering. “I don’t… I don’t think I’m your wife…” You watch his eye widen and you realize your choice of words was poor. “Nonono! Not like that!” You’re quick to reassure him you aren’t leaving him. He’ll probably leave you, however. “I just mean…” Big breath. “I feel… like I’m a man.”
He looked confused for a second before recognition registered on his face.
“Oh… how long have you felt this way?” You couldn’t get a read on his reaction yet, but he still held your hands.
“I really, really long time, Santi. I thought I’d grow out of it…”
He nods. “Since you were a kid?”
“Yeah.” You sniffle. “I tried to tell my parents but… they… They sent me away.”
Santiago’s face hardened at that. “Conversion therapy?”
Memories flooded back to what you suffered there, creating a fresh bout of tears down your face. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I tried to put it away but nothing worked! I know you probably don’t want me any more but please, please I’m gonna try, I can go to therapy again-”
You try to tell him that you can change, to give you a chance and you’ll fix it, trying to walk yourself back into the closet after being out less than 5 minutes, but he cuts you off with a kiss.
“Baby,” He stresses, pain on his face as cups your cheek with his hands, thumbing away a tear. “I’m not leaving you, and you are not going to conversion therapy, you hear me? That is not happening. We’re gonna do whatever we need to do to make you feel comfortable with yourself, okay? If that means transitioning, then we’ll make it happen.”
In shock, you blink. “But… Santi, you’re not gay…”
Santiago chuckles a little. “I don’t really know how this works, to be honest. I didn’t think I was either but… I love you. I’m attracted to you. That’s what I know.” When you didn’t look convinced, he continued. “Remember all the times you asked me if I’d love you if you were a worm?”
You giggle a little at the memory, beginning to feel better. “Yeah, you were confused.”
He nods with a smile. “Yeah, so were most of the guys. But Will told me it’s not about if I’d actually love you if you were a worm, because you’d never actually be a worm. It’s about being reassured that no matter what, I’d still be yours and you’d still be mine. So I told you I’d make you a little garden like Oscar the grouch has for wormy.”
You’re smiling now too. “And read me worm versions of fairy tales before bed.”
“And kiss your little worm head, because I love you. So, if you feel like you are a man, and you want to live life as man and if that makes me gay then yeah. I’m gay. I don’t really care about that. I care about you.”
"And... maybe, maybe its not even that I'm a man... just maybe not fully a woman?"
"Like, one of those in between things?"
You laugh at his wording. He may not have the best terminology, but he tries.
He sighs softly, holding your face. "If you feel like you're non... binary?" He asks questioningly, and you nod so he continues. "Or half and half or non at all... that's okay too. Whatever you are, i's what you are, and you're still you to me. But, baby." He kisses the tip of your nose. "Don't try and lessen it for me, okay? If you want to live and be fully as man, then that's what it is."
Letting his words sink in, your heart fills with love at his unconditional affection. “So… what next? What do I even do now?”
“Well,” Santi considers next steps. “I think we try to get you in with a doctor. I don’t think it goes straight to surgery,” He says with a tease. “But maybe hormones? I don’t know. I can talk to Ben whenever you’re ready for me to, I know he knows more of this than I do.”
“Can we maybe…” Your reach for a tissue, blowing it as you calm down more and more. “Can I maybe start with a haircut.”
This makes Santi laugh, standing up and taking you with him to capture you in a full body hug. “Of course we can! You don’t need my permission to get a haircut, mi cielo!” You notice how he immediately changed to masculine gendered terms of endearment. “Santi peppered kisses all over your face. “Wanna go today?”
You’re so excited at the idea, you readily agree.
An hour later, the kind stylist is chopping off your hair. As she gives you a moment to sit with the cut, Santi comes up behind the chair, wrapping his arms around you. “How do you feel, mi amor.” He says with a kiss to your neck.
You take in this first step, the start of a journey that you knew wouldn’t be easy but you had the best person ever by your side.
“I think… I actually feel like myself.”
shout out to @hee-blee-art for these cute ass dividers that were wierdly specific to this story lol
Most unrealistic thing about this fic is reader saying Santi isn't gay. Did we see the same movie? homosexual activity was hapeing on those mountains
HAPPY PRIDE!!! I can't wait to see what everyone did for this event <3
#santiago garcia#santiago garcia x reader#triple frontier#bi santiago garcia#bisexual santiago garcia#pride#OscarPedroPrideEvent2024#trans reader#trans masc reader#Santiago garcia trans masc reader#triple frontier x reader#santiago garcia fluff#fluff#santiago garcia x you#santiago garcia fanfiction#triple frontier fluff#pride 2024
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followed you simply for empires ctommy. I don’t even like empires but ctommy is my everything,,, any spare bits rattling around in that brain of yours
I have so many THOUGHTS about this dude you have no idea. Also, I do recommend watching Empires not because it's super similar to the dsmp but because it has its own disc war and Jimmy Solidarity is like Tommy but in a different font. Anyway,
My favourite idea I've had so far is cTommy punching transphobes in the face. Unlike the smp where it's like maybe 40-odd people trapped in a cursed land they cannot leave, Empires has citizens, it had loads of people. So like there's bound to be one person in the Grimlands who doesn't like their Count being a trans man. Tommy is having none of that though, he will clobber anyone who talks bad about fWhip while saying something badass like; "fWhip is twice the man you'll ever be"
Am I projecting heavily on that one? Yes.
Similarly, if you ever give anyone shit for Tommy's or anyone else's disability he will beat you with his prosthetic arm. I think on the smp, being disabled is a very common thing (hard of hearing/deaf people, amputees, nerve damage, blindness, etc) thanks to the constant wars, explosions and violence. I headcanon Tubbo to be almost entirely blind because of his execution, so Tommy will shout at you if you are rude to a blind person. He also absolutely knows sign language, which I've been calling MSL (minecraft sign language), so fWhip who is absolutely HoH thanks to being a demolitionist has someone he can communicate with if he doesn't have his hearing aid, and same with anyone else who's deaf/HoH.
In a similar vein to Tommy transphobe-puncher Innit, Tommy doesn't really give a shit about how he presents his gender. If you ask he will say he's a BIG MAN who uses he/him pronouns only, but he's also happy to walk around wearing a skirt (as long as it's a practical one he can fight in). He makes flower crowns for his friends. He can braid hair and has long-ish hair of his own. Hell, I'd say he could even do some basic makeup! Just stereotypically "feminine" things, because he just Does Not Care™. The most trans-allegory cishet man ever.
Tommy seems like the type to not care if he's asked to wear something formal (I.e. the L'manberg uniform) as long as he can still fight in it, Tommy likes to be prepared at all times. He keeps like three concealed weapons on him at all times. People have mentioned kinda worriedly to fWhip that his kid has a "perfect soldier stance", that he more marches wear he walks than actual walking, etc. It's concerning to see a kid no older than 16 walking around like a grizzled war veteran (which he is). Also, when asked to greet another Emperor respectfully, Tommy interprets that as a salute, perfect posture, etc with "It's an honour to meet you, ma'am/sir!" Because that's the only way he knows how to "show respect".
Idk I just want to explore the child soldier side of cTommy more.
Also just Tommy who's literally been homeless before being utterly shocked at the lavish lifestyle royalty/nobility lead. He sees all the food laid out in the dining hall to feed fWhip and his whole staff and is just shocked, there's never been that much food to go around on his whole server and there it all is just sitting there, AND fWhip tells him there's more if he doesn't like any of it!
Tommy really is just Sophia the first in this au lol
#empires smp#dsmp#fwhip#c!tommy#ctommy#dream smp#empires x dsmp#esmp#empires!tommy au#papa fwhip au#ctommyinnit#c!tommyinnit#dsmp tommyinnit#dsmp tommy#c tommy#c tommyinnit#long post#my headcanons
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The Winchester Family: A Rant
Can I just say that Sheriff Jody Mills was more of a mother to Sam and Dean Winchester more than Mary ever was, even after Amara brought her back. Like I guess no hate to Mary...? But like isn't the whole thing about the Winchesters is that family isn't just blood. They developed wayy closer bonds than the ones with Mary, and I know it isn't necessarily her fault, but she wasn't there. Like I dunno, I just wasn't in love with Mary coming back, especially since when she did come back, it seemed like she saw they were grown up and like, didn't care..? Like it felt like she went "oh my job is done these are just two grown dudes that I gave birth to once." Like I know its a weird situation, but as a person who grew up watching Once Upon a Time, where like almost the same thing happened, with Snow, David, and Emma, I can't help but compare their reactions and Mary just didn't stack up.
Snow and David were so ecstatic to see Emma and tried so hard to make up for lost time and parent her as much as they could. They kept trying even as Emma pushed them away saying she was grown and that her and her parents were technically the same age. Throughout the show they found a way to still be her parents while still acknowledging she was grown. It was really beautiful to see, but in comparison Mary did not stack up.
Yes, she is a badass, and, yes, her identity should not solely surround her being the boys' mother, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't be a mother at all. It would've been nice to see her figure out a way to strike the balance the Snow and David did, and I never got that vibe. In Supernatural, it seemed the opposite. It was Dean and Sam trying to be her sons and she pushed them away for the same reasons. I'm not saying she was a bad person, or even a bad mother, as it was a really weird situation and I can't necessarily blame her for how she dealt with it. What I AM saying, though, is that her name had no right to be carved onto that table. Point. Blank. Period.
Also, by the way, since I'm complaining, that weird episode with the pearl thing that let John Winchester come back so they could have a family dinner?????? As if that could truly be what Dean desired. Are you fucking kidding me. John sucked, made them both feel like shit, abused them, and yet that was the "family dinner" we got. It's been a while since I watched the show, so Idk a timeline, but screw the timeline for a sec. Across the entire show, a true family dinner would be Dean and Cas with their son Jack, Sam as the Uncle with Eileen, Bobby and Jody as the Dean and Sam's parents (because, unlike Mary, I very much feel like Jody struck that balance even though they weren't her actual sons) and Jody's brigade of wayward sisters trailing behind her, Donna as like the step-mother or aunt (Idk how Donna fits, I just LOVE Donna), and Charlie as Sam and Dean's little sister. Jo, Ellen, and Ash pop in with Rufus as those family members that are close, but you can't quite pinpoint how exactly you're related to them. Bonus: Kevin and Linda Tran come over like friendly neighbors because, even though they have a family of their own, the Trans are definitely close to the Winchesters, though, whether they like it or not. As much as I'd like to add Adam (to make up for him being left in the pit), I have a feeling he wouldn't want to. He seemed like a guy who refused to subscribe to the idea that because they were blood, they were family. (Maybe Sam and Dean should've learned a thing or two).
TL;DR:
Sam and Dean had a much bigger, and better, family then just John and Mary, but it was never really acknowledged fully and in the best way.
#supernatural#mary winchester#sam winchester#dean winchester#jack winchester#castiel#jody mills#claire novak#charlie bradbury#jo harvelle#ellen harvelle#Ash#rufus turner#bobby singer#john winchester#kevin tran#linda tran
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🏳️🌈 riddle, vil, epel, and idia? :3c
thank you for the gaggle of transgender people
Riddle: gay trans guy. I respect fem/transfem Riddle stuff but honestly to me personally it (ironically considering the next one) goes against his character. His entire life and childhood he’s had femininity forced on him (note the half dress from his overblot especially) and him being a trans guy and desperately trying to break out of it just makes sense. Being gay also goes into this to a degree as well but also just look at this kid and tell me he isn’t a little gayboy.
Vil: Transhet woman. I know this one is really really REALLY controversial but… her entire story feels like a trans narrative to me. Especially as a GNC trans guy (the only “acceptable” trans hc for her in the fandom), I see a lot of my gender envy towards feminine cis men in her treatment of Epel and Neige- Neige being amab and that soft and feminine without even trying, and Epel being feminine naturally and wanting to “throw it away”, so to speak. Especially when she tries so hard to be soft and feminine and it’s never “good” enough. As for transhet I just can’t see her with girls tbh. (Also I know transfem drag queens who have gotten into the series and took one look at Vil and said she’s a trans woman just saying.)
Epel: come on we all know this kid is a trans gayboy. Idk if this specifically is a hot take but from his second year onward I REALLY want him out of pome and into savanaclaw. I’m glad he’s made peace with his appearance for the time being but everything about it is. Insane repression to me and honestly makes me uncomfortable, again as a GNC trans guy myself. Once he realizes how legitimately traumatic his first year is I can’t see him forgiving Vil or Rook for an EXTREMELY long time, if ever. Lately I’ve also been kind of interested in exploring transfem Epel too… not because he’s soft and dainty and forced into feminine roles (I think I just established how extremely uncomfortable I am with that LMAO)… but because Epel has grown up around so many strong women, and I think him idolizing them and wanting to be a strong, masculine woman specifically himself is interesting. A naturally GNC boy desiring to become a GNC woman is really interesting to me and says a lot of very profound things about gender. I also think it gives a unique spin on his relationship with Vil- he knows things aren’t limited to just men and women, and he feels stifled specifically because he wants to be a woman who does things usually expected for men. I’m still 100% masc gay guy Epel, but I think it’s some REALLY interesting food for thought about gender and what is and isn’t expected of gender roles and how that affects trans people.
Idia: Beautiful Transhet Woman, My Beautiful Wife. I really don’t know how to explain this one except she is literally a coding gaming tgirl to a T. It literally unintentionally feels like they gathered a bunch of nerdy tgirls into a room and had them workshop the most stereotypical boymoder they could LMAO. Everything about her is So Transfeminine. She very much has a jrpg loving trans woman who was Very interested in TTYD Vivian as a child energy. Especially since I joined a discord server for a queer TTYD streamer recently AKFKSKFK My bg on desktop is what it is for a reason. As for why I say transhet… well she’s a major factor in how I realized I’m a st4t transhet man. She also radiates gayboy obsessed with yaoi to fujoshi pipeline which is very much a thing AKDJSFJDN I think her being bi with a pref for guys is really cute also though. Give her a few years and online she is going to be VERY popular with the (t)ladies.
#riddle-rosethorns#twst#riddle rosehearts#vil schoenheit#epel felmier#idia shroud#beautiful transgender wife#twisted wonderland#Kind of nervous to tag bc I’ve gotten shit for vil before when I’ve tagged posts about her gender LMAO#but w/e most people just block like normal people#also don’t trust people to not be illiterate about the epel one but hopefully the Real Ones understand#ask
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Hello!hope ur having a good day :) <33
I was wondering if u wanted to share some trans reg hc, could be overall or like the boxing au one, or anything rly.
Like who was the first person he came out to, how/when did he realise, how does he deal with dysphoria- what gives him dysphoria/euphoria, and maybe how would it translate into like relationship and sexlife, would he be able to go ahead without any/much dysphoria, or would he have to have sex a ‘specific way(?? Idk??)’ to make it work?
A lot of question I know, and u don’t have to answer if it makes u uncomfortable or anything, I just wanted to hear more about your headcanons about this.
//a trans guy who is obsessed with trans reg, and ur writing
hi darling!! i have today off so i am . in fact . having a great day <3 i hope yours is treating u kindly too!!
and ofc i want to!! i'm gonna do it boxer au based, since reg's trans experience isn't the same in every story!! and don't worry, i'm happy to answer ur questions!! it doesn't make me uncomfy in the slightest, trans reg is very special to me too for many reasons and i loveeee talking about him <3
the first person he came out to was sirius!! this is my Truth almost always no matter the fic. it changes sometimes, if he takes longer to realise and he and sirius have a complicated relationship but !! in the boxer au they get along great and they're very close, so reg told sirius first!!
sirius already had his suspicions tho, and they had a lot of long deep convos about gender. he helped reg figure himself out and supported him every step of the way
in the boxer au, he realised quite young!! he was never completely comfortable in his own body, but since he was a very awkward and . odd . kid everyone attributed it to reg just not being 'normal' in general. when puberty hit it got worse tho, and even tho everyone told him it'd pass and that puberty wasn't supposed to feel good or fun, reg knew there was something else
sirius also noticed there was something going on with his brother, so he tried to help him in every way he could. he lent him his clothes whenever reg asked (even tho it was always kind of begrudgingly), convinced their parents to allow him to wear his hair short, bought him oversized clothes and called him by his nickname and never his actual name
but i think the moment it actually hit reg was when he got mistaken by a boy one time he got out of school and went to his father's office to wait for him. the receptionist assumed he was sirius, and it finally clicked for him
he didn't tell sirius immediately tho. he researched a lot first, almost obsessively, and he doubted himself all of the time, having these moments in which . he was afraid he was actually somehow making it all up in his mind
reg was very scared of change, and this was a very big One. he knew sirius would support him no matter what, but there's always fear yk?? and there was also the matter of his parents. he was absolutely terrified
but he ended up blurting it out one night he and sirius stayed up late in secret. sirius talked to him about this one boy he was crushing into, and came out to him. and reg came out to him in return!! there were a lot of hugs and a lot of tears (they pretended this never happened the next morning)
sirius was a man on a mission after this. he helped him browse names and started using the correct pronouns, always getting so incredibly upset when he slipped at the beginning. reg found it very endearing, and assured him it was fine bc it was understandably gonna take them both some time
reg didn't have many close friends back then, so he didn't really come out to anyone in school, and he graduated with only sirius knowing the truth
those years were hard ngl, and reg struggled A Lot, but having sirius on his side made the whole thing . slightly more bearable . sometimes not even that was enough but reg appreciated it immensely
how he deals with dysphoria has changed over time!! he relied a lot on the internet when he was younger, and on his brother too, but there was only so much sirius could do apart from offering a willing ear and being comforting, considering he couldn't really understand what reg was going through. it absolutely broke sirius' heart, to see him have breakdown after breakdown, losing his appetite or refusing to leave his room for days
back then reg experienced dysphoria constantly. he wasn't comfortable in his own body and he had a hard time looking at himself in the mirror, or even listening to himself talk
some days he could kind of deal with it, remain functional despite it all. he did his best to keep himself distracted so he wouldn't think too much about the whole thing
but other days getting up from bed was Hard
now tho !! it doesn't happen That often, he's the man he was always meant to be !! he's on T and got top surgery and legally changed his name and gender so he's kind of thriving
he still has his moments tho bc this is something he's gonna have to deal with for the rest of his life so when it happens he goes to the twins!! they're both trans in this story so they Understand what he's going through and they support each other Always
they exchange advice and comfort each other when it gets especially Hard and . idk it's all very lovely, they're each other's ppl yk??
again, back then a lot of stuff gave him dysphoria, but nowadays it's more specific?? little things that usually don't upset him that badly but that sometimes pile up and end up giving him actually bad dysphoria??
like . he's a well-known sports journalist, he isn't really a celebrity or anything but ppl do talk about him sometimes, especially bc of sirius (and then bc of james) and they tend to mention his looks or how similar or different he looks to his brother
and sometimes they use more . feminine adjectives or straight up say he's kinda feminine or even comment on him being trans since it's public knowledge and reg has spoken on it more than once and . it's stuff that doesn't affect him that badly but it still annoys him
it's the same when ppl highlight how passing he looks, how u can't even tell he's trans, etc
there's also the ppl that are purposefully transphobic or misgender him which . does actually make him quite dysphoric, even tho he's mostly very comfortable with his identity + his looks now
he also has a bit of a complicated relationship with . stuff that it's considered 'feminine'
like clothes don't have any gender, same with makeup, and reg wouldn't mind wearing a skirt even tho it's not his style and he does wear some makeup semi-regularly for tv interviews etc etc but . sometimes he feels slightly uncomfy on it, like he gets bad memories or becomes paranoid about how he looks in it, if the clothes make his body seem too . curvy .
as i've said, he's very confident nowadays but he still has his moments!!
when it comes to gender euphoria, it's all about the little things!! people calling him handsome, seeing how hairy his body is now, the fact that he can take his shirt off now when he goes to the beach etc
when it comes to relationships and his sex life he has reached a point in which he can usually go ahead without getting dysphoria but . it depends on his partner really
some ppl can be transphobic without meaning to or simply bc of a lack of knowledge which is fine by him u know he totally gets it, it's a matter of being willing to learn and to listen to him
like . he's used to guys assuming he only bottoms or not even ask if he's comfortable using his front hole u know
or using afab terms to refer to his genitals without making sure first reg is okay with that
which brings me to my next point !! in oby, reg himself uses afab terms and he's fine with james using them too, they've had a convo about it and everything
but it's different for reg in the boxer au!! he does use afab terms for himself, he doesn't mind at this point and it doesn't give him any dysphoria however . when it comes to his sexual partners . he prefers them using words like a cock or hole or more neutral names . it gives him gender euphoria!! and the other stuff makes him kinda uncomfy. it's fine when he's the one saying it or thinking it but hearing it out loud coming from . other people, especially people who are just there bc they're attracted to him and want to fuck him is . Not Great
he also isn't always fine with using his front hole during sex, it depends on his mood and how much he trusts the person he's gonna be sleeping with. besides, he quite likes anal too so !!
this whole thing is another reason why . reg doesn't want to sleep with james bc he feels like he's gonna be a bit of an asshole about it or be another guy who doesn't even bother asking about his preferences or what he's comfy with
which isn't the case at all!! james has been with trans ppl before, and even if he hadn't, he's very considerate with his partners!! and as he should tbh. him being arrogant or knowing he's great in bed doesn't mean he's selfish
#and i'm gonna stop right there bc this is getting out of hand#this is way too long omg#but i hope this was what u were hoping for !!!#sending u lots of love darling <333#asks#anons#boxer james agenda#regulus black
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Idk who's going to bother to read this rant but maybe someone will and relate to some parts of it so here goes.
The asexual and aromantic experience is wild when you have nothing but love to give.
For context, I generally don't use any specific labels because it's just a lot of work to explain, but using the more generic ones, I know a few things about myself.
I'm non-binary, polyamorous, and land *somewhere* on the ace and aro spectrums. I only use pangender as a term cuz I'm biased to the flag. It looks pretty, and it's close enough. I've debated if I'm trans, but I'm not uncomfortable in my body so I haven't bothered to pursue anything, and I'm only ace/aro because there is just a complete lack of drive/attraction/instinct whatever it can be called, in my body and psyche. I am a soul in a vessel here to experience things, but attraction is not one of them, apparently.
I'm a sex positive ace though. And I know all the technical terms I fall into but it's just complicated. I don't really use any kind of term for sexual preference, but I know I like men, and can develop sexual attraction under the right circumstances, and I like women aesthetically, but I can't say I'm NOT sexually attracted because I've never been with one. And the weird fear about trying is exactly the same fear I had about men. So ya know.
But I want to love. To be loved and especially to give love in return. I don't make a lot of friends cuz I don't get attached, with the exception of getting adopted, and my best friend who I chose all the way back in 2nd grade. I'm in my early 20s now and her and I live together, so you can see that it means something.
I've also recently started dating this guy who is exactly in the perfect sweet spot of everything I am attracted to, and not just visually. (Who actually cares about appearances anyway?) He's very sweet and kind to me, has a perfect balance of similarities and differences to myself, highly values communication and listens to what I have to say, understands my needs and how I function, and overall matches my energy. (He's very mellow but I'm working to bring out the crazy side I know is in there, lol.) To be honest it's damn near one of those too good to be true things. He's also poly, not entirely cis, and completely embraces my gender identity, or lack thereof. He's devoted and healthily obsessive and possessive and it's mutual. We also completely agree on our stances about kids and marriage, which is that we want neither. (At least not getting married on paper, he absolutely wants to wife me and I'm not mad about it.)
What makes me feel almost guilty, or honestly more like I'm defective, is that he's had all these realizations and transcendent moments that you would expect out of finding the person you're meant to be with. But I haven't. Don't get me wrong, I completely share the sentiments, I want him just as much as he wants me, and the devotion is mutual, I just haven't felt it. I know I love him, I know that I'm happy, I know that what we have is extremely promising and healthy. I just feel like I'm missing what everyone else gets to experience. I've talked about it with him too and he's so very understanding. Maybe I'm just terrified of myself. That I'll ruin it without even knowing, simply because I'm not designed to have this. I also know that thinking that is bad for manifesting.
Like just listen. (I'm also into witchcraft and astrology,) And my literal human design works against some of the things I want. I want to sleep next to him, all the time, but I have genuine trouble sleeping next to another person even just in the same bed as me, let alone within elbow distance. Sometimes it's hard if they're even in the same room. And that fact was literally stated in one of my readings. There's something in my autistic little brain that can't seem to let my breathing match theirs, and it's a natural thing for humans to do, but it somehow drives me crazy. I want to kiss and hold and have sex and all those things, but I'm difficult. Finding satisfaction in intimacy is a literal challenge, even with help from toys or other stimulus. He's been so patient and understanding with that too and it's done wonders for the shame trauma I grew up with, but it's also just frustrating, because I feel constantly inadequate or like I'll accidentally give off the impression that he's not enough. And that's not true. (Even if there's some things he could stand to learn.) It's all just that typical asexual "I feel broken" kind of angst. But it's still a very real experience that haunts me. I'd love to believe that going on T would fix me, but I know it's not true.
Honestly I kinda lost where I meant to go with this. It's very TMI, but he says I feel like home to him, and while I don't think I feel the same thing, wording wise, we both agree that even though it's been almost 3 months, it feels like we've known each other for forever. Please excuse me for being a sap but genuinely I'm like, yah I found it. Cliché romance novel shit and everything. It's been very soft and comfortable so far. I still have to egg him into actually biting me like he means it, but at least I know I'm safe with him. He lets me show a bit of dominance too, so there's not any kind of power imbalance, and I'm so very excited for whatever future we get to have.
Idk. I think I had a lot of other sappy poetic shit to say that I forgot about, but I guess the overall message is that when you know what you want, it doesn't matter if you're ace, aro, anything in between, or nothing at all, you can find the love you're looking for. Have some faith in yourself. You're not broken, you're not missing anything. Whatever kinds of relationships you have, platonic or romantic or anything else, the right people do exist. You just have to first be sure of yourself, and sure of what you're looking for.
Yada yada yada, I'm gonna go take a nap.
#asexual#aromantic#aroace#acearo#love#angst#im a huge sap#and so is he#but someday ill get to marry him#and also peg him#so im winning at life#ciao
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made a tma avatar! the text is me rambling about their backstory n stuff, but since i had a headache, was making stuff up as i went along, and i was writing fast it is very incomprehensible
they’re mostly based on the crisis i had about if tma were real, would i want to become and avatar and live or just die to one of the entities
and also they’re a kid because i am way too into childhoods being ruined
i’ll write down their info under the cut! enjoy :)
name: harper tran
gender and sexuality: agender aroace
pronouns: they/them
status: avatar of the end
nationality: mixed filipino & vietnamese
age: 14
relations: oliver banks, gertrude robinson, jonathan sims
backstory:
harper grew up in a big family and the others never really paid attention to each other, so they often ended up wandering out when they were bored, eventually leading to their first encounter with a fear (the desolation)
they escaped but it kept happening— they went down a spiral (lmao) after recognizing the building used in a history lesson (robert smirke building that they had an encounter in)
eventually met gertrude who decided (after harper gave their statement) that they should know about the fears and whatnot
after that they dug deeper and found out about becoming an avatar & decided that they’d rather die than become one of those things, so they started being less and less careful about their self preservation, but that also led to the fears targeting them more
they managed to escape each time, but also getting closer and closer to dying each time, they came to gertrude for advice every now and then on how to deal with the entities
gertrude died and was replaced with jon though, and while jon didn’t have their answers he was fun to bully (and harper cared about him, but they wouldn’t admit it)
but eventually they died to a hunt avatar, who stabbed them in the chest
they chose to die, not thinking about the fact that the end could take them
they woke up disappointed but got up anyway to check out their wound, putting on a jacket to cover it up
while walking down the streets to the hospital they notice something weird about the people— some are injured heavily, some have their veins colored a toxic green, some they could see their organs, slowly dying, and none of them noticed
some’s injuries and whatnot were more obvious than others, they decided to check on someone whose weird thing was the most obvious (an old person with their heart)
the old person had a heart attack and died, and it made harper feel more energetic
they ran away and had a breakdown, tried to find a place where no one was dying (very, very hard) but met oliver instead, who showed them how to exist and be chill
they’re vibing now with oliver, just being immortal and kinda petty
notes:
i tried to base them off of martin’s line “you know, i think (the lonely) always had me” being that he was already showing signs of being a good fit for the lonely before he was actually turned. they were indifferent to the idea of death, which is why the end saw them as a good fit
i like writing them because they r just. so tired. gave them the energy of someone going thru a midlife crisis despite being a teenager lmao i might actually share a writing thing of them idk
they do NOT have a fashion sense. they put on a shirt and pants and that’s good enough
the ends of their hair are white because that’s my favorite oliver hc :)
alr thanks for reading my rambles!
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idk if it's just me but I have never experienced the whole "guy tries to be your friend just to have sex with you thing." I tried to date a male friend once and he was not interested. I 100% believe it happens to others, but I guess I've been blessed. I have male friends who have been honest, reliable people in my life. My closest friends are female, but I'm happy to have the friends I do in general.
I'm actually sad that online spaces have become more gender polarized in general. I used to go on fan forums as a kid and while they were usually majority male, there was always a substantial female contingent. Some were 50-50 or even majority female. I feel like most fandoms I try to interact with nowadays are gender segregated - go on tumblr to talk to female and trans people, go on reddit for the rest. On Twitter people self-segregate with different follow lists. There's little overlap.
I had many positive experiences on these forums - I got to learn and understand the perspectives of people quite unlike myself. And I like to imagine they got to learn something from me. I enjoy being in all-female and majority female spaces. But I miss the small, gender-mixed spaces where I felt safe expressing my opinions, regardless of demographic differences. That seems to have entirely disappeared.
I suspect this is because of algorithmic engines funneling people who are likeminded together, and the general largeness of the internet now. Back in the day if you wanted to discuss [small property], there would probably be one or two forums you could join, and you had to coexist with whoever was there. It's much easier now to just leave and find people like you - to "curate your experience", as we're fond of saying on Tumblr. The post Gamergate/manosphere climate has also made gender politics in general much more insufferable and hostile.
If I don't actively fight it and seek out new spaces, I can tell that I end up in a bubble. My friends have only gotten more radicalized over time in whatever positions they previously had. If I don't do something about it, to try to join different communities, I can feel the same thing happening to me. All my friends who are not like me (different race, male, different political background, etc.) come from high school, where you mix with the general population. Everyone I've befriended since is someone from a similar class, politic, race, etc. to me. I find it weird. I don't want to be in a bubble. But it's very hard to break out when you're no longer in an environment that forces different people together. And the internet is no longer a help in befriending people who aren't like you.
#mypost#personal rant i guess#you dont have to have male friends if you dont want to this is just my story
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'your beauty never ever scared me' tidbits (part 1/???)
Hey y'all! I was going to write more for this AU, but AO3 is apparently down rn?? So here are just some thoughts and stuff about this series instead. (There are some NSFW bits, just so y'all know).
As previously stated, Alcina is trans femme in this series. However, she's at a point in her transition where dysphoria isn't really a thing she experiences anymore?? Like, we all been knew she's confident to the point of arrogance, and even if somebody were to openly misgender her (which would probably get them killed lbr) she would be more faintly annoyed/coldly amused than anything. She would probably still retaliate ofc, that's just who she is (and she has an image to maintain).
Like I said before, Reader is AFAB but gender-neutral. So it's up to you if they're a cis woman, trans man, or AFAB enby. However, in the case of the latter two, Alcina would NOT take Reader being misgendered lying down, and would probably react much more harshly toward whoever was doing it, unless Reader was to intervene.
Also, in this series, she secretly had some difficulty learning to sign at first. Like, she has huge hands. But once she saw how happy Reader was that she was learning, she immediately doubled down, to the point where she became fluent surprisingly quickly.
Reader's cane was actually a joint effort between Donna and Karl. Donna supplied the wood from her garden, while Karl put it together and made the claw-rose charm. Alcina didn't mind asking Donna for help, but she really had to swallow her pride to ask Karl.
Alcina is actually kind of nervous about accidentally infantilizing Reader, due to their disabilities. She's good about not doing it, but that doesn't stop her from secretly being anxious that she'll slip up one day and offend them.
Reader is actually Alcina's first serious love. Like, she has had crushes and loved people non-romantically before, but this is her first time really being IN love. It takes her a bit to realize that that's what she's feeling though (and she internally panics a bit when she does), since she's never really been close to anyone outside of Miranda and the other Lords before. She's determined to do it right, though.
When she was a human, Alcina had a bad relationship with her family. They were not accepting of her transition and were the type to demonize her for being attracted to women, but still wouldn't want her to be into men either bc she's AMAB.
She eventually gets to a point where she becomes pretty domestic with Reader, something they are all too happy about.
Alcina also really wants to have kids with Reader at some point, she thinks that they would be an amazing parent. Eventually, they do have Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela.
As for Miranda and the other Lords, they're all less evil (as mentioned previously). Miranda for instance is still trying to bring Eva back, but is not doing so by trying to kidnap other people's children this time.
Miranda and the Lords all genuinely care about and love each other as family in this series. Even if some would prefer not to admit it (Alcina and Karl). They all kind of found each other when they didn't have anyone else, so it's very much a found family type situation.
In the beginning of their relationship, Alcina had a hard time being convinced that Reader wasn't afraid of her. However, for Reader, it was something close to love at first sight.
NSFW: As an unexpected result of her Cadou, Alcina now has ruts and a knot (like in an omegaverse setting). She can and does enjoy sex outside of her ruts, but when she is in one, she's nearly insatiable. She gives great aftercare though!
NSFW: Has a lot of kinks, but would never pressure Reader with them. of course. However, if Reader shows interest in them, then that's another story entirely.
NSFW: These kinks include (but are not limited to): BDSM, mommy kink, breeding/pregnancy, blood (obvi), marking, pet play, cockwarming, wife kink (idk what else to call it but she loves when Reader calls her their wife, it really turns her on).
#resident evil village#resident evil 8#resident evil#re8#re8 village#alcina dimitrescu#lady dimitrescu x reader#lady dimitrescu#your beauty never ever scared me#ybnesm#my post
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Can you do sp main 4 with a reader who is trans mtf?? I really like your ftm one and since my sister is trans mtf she would love to read this x
sp main 4 finding out reader is trans mtf
A/N: i am so glad you liked it and i hope your sister likes this too!!!! i know this is really similar to the ftm one mainly because i dont think they'd react too differently! link to ftm vers here
also i wanted to add that i usually write with a fem reader differently than a g/n or masc reader!! mostly because they're like 4th graders and the whole girls vs boys thing. so i'm sorry if they're... colder??? idk how to describe it😭
stan marsh
he's just like "oh" in a surprised voice
doesn't really care but might ask a few,,, personal questions. he's genuinely curious and he doesn't mean harm. asks about what it means and why you transitioned
"how did you find out? like what does it feel like?"
he might encourage you to talk to wendy and the girls if you haven't become friends with them already! he says this because he knows it'd probably be nice for you to hang out with other girls so they can dress you up and help you feel like you fit in
also puts in a good word to wendy for you and u two become friends :)
again you coming out might make him question his own gender. he just gets really confused because he's never had the chance to explore himself and having a trans friend makes him more comfortable to do so!!
might ask you questions at first about how you found out, but other than that he just treats you like how he normally does; probably forgets that you're trans if anything
kyle broflovski
kyle never really hangs out with girls in the first place, the closest girl friends he has being you and sometimes wendy. he is very awkward around girls .
so you don't have to worry about him treating you like more of a bro after you come out, because he doesn't. if he were to treat you any differently he would treat you like more of a girl if anything if that makes sense
like he doesn't mean to exclude you but he figures it'd make you feel better to not be grouped with the boys??
"yeah, i get that. sometimes i feel like i was made to be a tall black man. it's really hard to play basketball as a 4'3" jewish white boy."
mostly, he doesn't really care, and he probably actually would prefer not to hear you talk about it. like i mean he prefers to not hear about 'assigned genders' because it makes him think of genitalia and honestly he does not like to think about that
so yeah, he's a little confused but he tries his best to understand, and he might be appreciative that you opened up about it, but for the most part he's just like "good for you" and moves on
eric cartman
similar to the ftm one, since he's known you as a girl all this time that no matter how hard he wants to misgender you he never truly sees you as anything other than a girl
he'll call you names and tease you for it but at the end of the day he still sees you as a cootie-ridden girl
he kicks you out of games because 'girls can't play games' and the others say you can play and he gets all pissy
he shoos you away at lunch not because you're trans but because you're a girl. he would rather be caught dead than hanging out with a chick. so in a way he's kind of accidentally an ally LOL
he gets uncomfortable when the topic gets brought up and would prefer not to think about it. he genuinely wants to stay out of it because he does NOT want to know what people have down under. absolutely hates thinking about it
"dude, i already live in a hot dog. i don't need to have any more wieners in my face."
kenny mccormick
he looks at you funny all confused.
"mph, nmph? mphph? (wait, what? really?)"
"mmphmph, mph mphph mmf mmphh.. (jesus, dude, i never would've guessed.)"
he's genuinely really confused because all the stereotypes of trans girls he's seen on tv and they all depict them looking super masculine and stuff. he's never really met a trans person so he's confused when you're just some normal kid
he's supportive, but he doesn't really care. he pats you on the back and says cool and then goes back to like. playing mario kart or whatever you guys were doing
he doesn't know anything about what it means so he might ask some questions about what dysphoria is and transitioning and all that. he will listen genuinely but he might fall asleep. he actually does care though!!!
thinks it's interesting but never brings it up again or talks about it and treats you like normal. honestly he would be very happy to play princesses with you as princess kenny
you have sleepovers and he acts all girly. like you do his hair and nails and dress him up and he kicks his feet having the time of his life
#south park#platonic headcanons#platonoc south park x reader#platonic x reader#sp fandom#sp x reader#stan marsh x reader#kyle broflovski x reader#eric cartman x reader#kenny mccormick x reader#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#eric cartman#kenny mccormick#sp#stan sp#sp stan#kyle sp#sp kyle#cartman sp#sp cartman#kenny sp#sp kenny#pineappleciders
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Queer SecurityWaiter/DreamTheory headcanons (part 2)
Featuring lots of Mike being trans. Mainly that, in fact 🫶🫶🫶
Mike:
-I said previously that he always assumed he was straight cause he’s never been attracted to dudes, but then I remembered “oh yeah wait he’s trans that doesn’t make sense” so to explain that, I feel like he’s one of those trans guys who kinda always saw himself as a boy, even if he didn’t really have a way to put it into words, plus it’s not like he really thought about attraction and dating much, so when he was younger, he probably was one of those “girls” who didn’t fit in with other girls, had mainly guy friends (out of the few friends he had lol), and thought romance and dating seemed gross, so he wouldn’t talk about it unless other people brought it up, and he’d have to fight for his life every time he tells people that he in fact DOES NOT HAVE A CRUSH !! (No one believes him because no one ever believes that. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was one of those kids who just named some random classmate that he thought seemed vaguely interesting just to shut people up)
-I’d say he probably came out as trans at around 18, after he graduated. He probably knew he was trans earlier than that, maybe like somewhere around 15-16, but he didn’t want to deal with coming out and transitioning socially so he stayed in the closet until it was easier to kinda just…cut people out lol. He’s stealth and kinda just transitioned best he could without people questioning him, which wasn’t hard with his parents falling out of the picture and not really staying in contact with anyone from school (frankly I don’t imagine he was very popular lol) so like…yeah
-had a “looks like a lesbian with a boyband/justin Bieber type haircut” phase somewhere in his teenage years. Kinda didn’t care when people rumored about his sexuality. He didn’t date anyone so it just doesn’t really matter, but if people asked him directly he’d just say he’s straight cause again coming out as anything just seemed like a hassle
-had his first and only date (before Ness) at like 19/20 years old, and (as far as I’ve heard from the people talking abt the apparent fnaf movie novel) it’s canon that the girl didn’t wanna go on a second date because “his eyes were too intense” (autism💥💥💥) it was some random girl who asked him out, maybe a coworker or smth who thought he was cute, and he just said yes cause he didn’t really know what else to do and figured he might as well since it’s certainly generally considered embarrassing to have never gone on a date before as someone old enough to be in college (which he didn’t go to cause 1: money 2: he had to take care of Abby 💔💔💔) then after he was like “yeah I was right idk what the hype is about dating seems lame” (he’s a little dumb /j)
-he’s in his mid-late twenties, and I think his been on T for like 2-5 years, so he probably started T somewhere around 20-23. Again, realistically, no idea how he’s affording that, but…he did it 🤗🤗🤗
-the day this man discovers trans tape is the day this man finally learns a bit of peace (not as much as top surgery obviously but certainly more than regular binding)
-I reiterate once again that he binds so unhealthy. Wears his binder at home, wears it out, wears it when exercising, wears it from when he wakes up till he goes to bed, and he only takes it off at night because he literally HAS to and even then he still wears a slightly tight sports bra cause bro is NOT DEALING WITH THE BOOBAS (someone please stop him please good god how are his lungs still functioning)
-god at dressing to pass. Knows all the hacks. Even before T he passed pretty well, he just looked young. He knows all the right exercises to shape his body in certain ways, knows all the right kinds of clothes and materials to hide and accentuate the right things, dresses and acts like a man pretty easily because bro is just like that, he’s the kind of trans guy who’s basically just a cis guy with titties /hj like i said before he uses man soap (3n1 energy), he gets man haircuts at man haircut places, he wears man shoes that give him some extra height (being very stereotypical and gender-roley here but that’s legit just how he is)
-on that note, man’s height dysphoria is AWFUL !! Not to call Josh Hutcherson short (though let’s be real he is a short king and he owns that shit ((still taller than me though 💔💔💔)), but Mike is 5’5, which to some people is short even by women’s standards, so yeah he definitely wears thick shoes and shoe lift things to help him get closer to around 5’7-5’8 on a good day, and he definitely lies abt his height when he can get away with it
-the kind of guy who gets dysphoria over literally everything (“do I look like a woman when I sit like this?” “Are my eyes too feminine?” “I feel like how I’m walking is gonna out me” “the color pink cannot touch my body” “no I can’t sing that song, it’s sung by a woman” “does the way I hold this look girly?” “Why does my smile make me look like a girl” “this shirt makes my chest look big” “do I write like a man??” etc etc. all while he literally has a beard and is built like a brick /hj /lh)
-generally speaking could not and never has cared less about romance and dating and sex and all that UNTIL NESS HAPPENED AND NOW THIS MAN IS HEAD OVER HEALS IN LOVE WITH THIS SILLY LITTLE TWINK MALEWIFE FEMALEHUBBY THEMBOSS 💥💥💥
-k sorry he’s just a little fruit but like literally for one person and one person only other than that he is/would be chronically bitchless and be pretty ok with that
Ness:
-has a type (trans people 💥💥💥 t4t royalty 💥💥💥) /hj
-but low key on a real note dude doesn’t really actually have a whole lotta preferences he just likes gays and autisms /hj
-does drag both ways and eats it up hardcore
-crossdressing doesn’t exist he just is gender. What gender? Yes.
-I literally can’t think of anything serious to say abt Ness’ queerness they’re just so 💥💥💥
-just a little fruit what do you want me to say
-THE girlfriend-boyfriend
-WHAT DO I SAY ABT NESS SHES JUST SILLY 💔💔💔
-my girlboy boygirl who just loves their little guy failure soggy cat of a man WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY ?? 💥💥💥
anyways that’s it I think I mainly just wanted to talk abt Mike’s transgenderism more which like can you blame me no you can’t he’s my meow meow 💔💔💔
#securitywaiter#dreamtheory#fnaf#fnaf movie#mike schmidt#ness the waiter#ness x mike#mike x ness#queer#trans#neurodivergent#audhd#headcanons
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