#idk why this is such a big deal to me lol
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Peso
Peso my lil Habibi <3 <3 <3
hes just a top tier character
my Hispanic coded son, mylil guy who's learning how to believe in himself
i just I lovepeso guys he's so pure and supportive and caring and lighthearted and silly and he's really doing his best??
he could probably cure my mentally illness with a bandage I'm sure
imgonna be so real I think he has game tho, like I'm 300% he could pull any maiden
he can become friends with like any sea creature too probably
hes my hero and my son and I think he low-key judges everyone internally
cuz like idk if y'all have met people who refuse to swear out loud verbally and hate confrontation, but the internal dialogue omg
i just know one of these days if he gets pushed too far hes gonna threaten someone with his slappity flippers
like y'all know the look birds do where they just sideye you??
that glance???
i think he does that whenever people do things that are stupid
like he loves them all dearly but shellington why would you touch The THing That Will Hurt you, no shellington you cant eat that for science-
Also I think he and dashi would listen to music together i think they might spend evenings relaxing together. I mean their rooms are right next to eachother so like I'm sure they've had some lovely little evening conversations and stuff 🥰 i can just imagine dashi tryna teach peso yoga and like 😩🙏his penguin body wasn't built for it but he still slays
Hes like the little sibling but in the actually I am the most mature way???
I think its cuz he looks up to alot of the other members (altho he's definitely gotten alot more confident as the show has progressed) but he also like..
He gives me the vibes of the oldest sibling of not just the siblings but of all the cousins??? This might just be me projecting but like why did u even become a medic for such a wide range of medical creatures and sign up to join the newly formed highly experimental water nasa???
I think he probably had alot of high expectations on himself because everyone just always believed he could do anything. And that sounds super supportive in theory but when ur like tryna be the oldest and first one to support ur family and everyone is always looking at u because like.. most other people in ur family are younger or ehatever.. that pressure and extra attention can cause alot of perfectionism and high self standards
That mixed with being The Caretaker in your family especially as a child is a pretty good recipe for getting anxious about any big goal in your life and how others perceive you. I think he tried to like humble himself by saying oh no I'm not really capable of all those amazing things so pls don't have those huge expectations hahaha but then it just turned into not believing in himself as much???
Also we slay genuinely caring and kind people having alot of pent up frustration they never show because they love everyone too much. It still hurts inside tho.
Anyways uhhhhhhhhhhh this totally ain't me projectin or anythin.
also hes like a mixed kid, but he's mostly gentoo penguin id say based on my own design
speaking of penguins I think that their homes would be actually made of stone lol. Their homes would have like different smaller homes for privacy around like communal areas.. they still gotta deal with predstors like albatross or ehstever tho. But their albatross for example might work in groups or even be larger.
Friendly reminder my lore for the octonauts is a bit different than the Canon. Sure People People being like hunted is wayyyy less common than irl but They're basically still playing their evolutionary roles kinda like how we see with sea otters in the show.
I'm gonna make the post for their social norms and etc on this within the next few days actually lol but back to peso
Do u guys ever think peso wouldve jumpscared the crew by being like "oh no the shelf is too tall!" And then busting out the "hey did you know that penguin legs are just folded and much horrifically longer than ud think they are?" On them 😩🙏
"Wh- why would ye show me this??"
" because no one will ever believe you"
Hes very sweet but I think he deserves to be a little bit of a sneaky sht
If uve made it this far thanks for reading the brainrot I hope it was comprehensible pls lmk ur headcanons about him cuz I need more ngl
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deep breath okay lets do this, active ofmd blogs, give this post a like so i can check out ur page, yeah? 👉👈
bunch of rambling under the cut lol
GOSH man. i almost never check my followers on here and now im overwhelmed by it, so i thought this would be easier lol. but i find myself wanting to be More involved here at this time? and i wanna feel... idk more of a PART of all of it?
i have this compulsion?? to make sure i catch up w my social media feeds every day (meaning get back to stuff i saw the previous day) which is why i don't follow a ton of people, because i get easily overwhelmed, to the point where i start to feel.... uncomfortable if i am out of the loop for too long, and i am rly trying to get past that and make that not matter to me? to make peace with what i Do scroll thru in a day and be cool with not seeing every single thing.
anyway point being, i wanna follow more people, and meet new people, and be less..... standoffish? i am feeling particularly fond of the fandom right now, in light of everything that's happened, and i would love to make more connections i say even tho i can never keep a fuckin conversation going lol
i've been realizing lately that i never reach out to ppl, i never initiate a conversation or approach others first, and often let conversations die because idk how to continue them, and idk, that kinda makes me sad? when did that start? and no promises that'll change, but... idk i gotta start somewhere. and it makes me nervous even tho i KNO it's not that deep? idk!!!
i've been doing fandom and sims on tumblr since like, 2012, lol, and idk when i started to shrink back and blend into the background, but it def happened? online and irl lol. i've just got so much anxiety! how can that much anxiety fit into one person???? and while i've def been more active on fandom twitter over the past 6 years, there are a lot of things that i like better abt tumblr so. yeah. here i am!!! i'm sure none of this was necessary, lol, but i wanted to talk thru it w myself so. now u get to read it too.
#xoxod#idk why this is such a big deal to me lol#but it is!!!#i Gotta get less weird about stuff#oaky im goin to bed now but i will check this in the morning!! 😘
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Slight redesign for cadence of hyrule zelda and link :>
I actually played the game like five times in a row with my mother recently cuz we wanted to see all the characters and modes etc lol
#art#the legend of zelda#fanart#zelda#tloz#link#my art#cadence of hyrule#coh#post game au#pgau#yall i started tagging my redesigns as an au lol#idk why thats such a big deal for me fgizhgkk#anyways i did go back and fixed all my posts tags which took really long but ye
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gonna try to word this as best as i can but, if you're tme and kind of stupid in regards of transmisogyny issues, you can like ... listen. it isn't that hard.
trans women and transfems as a whole are constantly doing the hard work for you, explaining why something is wrong, how you can make sure they feel safer, that Hey! This Show Is Kinda Transmisoginistic, So Maybe Don't Recommend It To Me!, etc etc, they're literally doing the heavy lifting for you, and if you truly care about them the way you say you do, you'll educate yourself at least a little
"trans women are women" in your bio isn't enough anymore
#its already fucked that we are putting the burden of educating others on them#instead of doing it ourselves#but god at least LISTEN???????#idk bitch all of us worth a dime already dropped jkr why cant you also drop rocky horror show lol it aint that big a deal#jojo barks#ignore me btw I'm not being too smart but like.... Ive seen so many ppl lately refusing to learn
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was trying to figure out why I feel so Wrong rn and I think it's because I didn't follow my usual daily routine like At All and now my brain is freaking out. woke up at a vastly different time, had entirely different tasks throughout the day, took a nap at a weird time (to make up for the fact I had about 3 hours of sleep last night), zero human contact for the past 15 hours, and ate different food from usual (various leftovers from social events/thanksgiving, instead of cooking for myself like normal). and before I really realized that these were all things that were Bad For My Brain I was just wandering around my house like "why do I feel like garbage?? I've literally been outside so much today my brain should be happy"
ANYWAY here's to me not remembering I have issues with unstructured living because my days have been so similar for the past 4ish years that I straight up Forgot that things being too different too fast makes me crazy ✌️
#rye.txt#I'll be fine lol#the sudden shift in my daily schedule and my generally unhealthy eating today were the big things that made me feel Bad#so now that I am actually cognizant of this I can take steps to mitigate it tomorrow#god. what the hell did I even eat#leftover soup. that was breakfast (very out of my ordinary). uhh. a lot of pie (grandma made a ton for thanksgiving).#a tangerine that miiight have been on the edge of going bad#(thought I should eat a fruit. fruit did not improve status)#reheated popcorn chicken? that was not a good decision I felt so gross after eating that#hrm. ok my issue is that I feel like I Need To Eat These Leftovers So They Don't Go Bad#otherwise i'll be Wasting Perfectly Good Food#BUT. I don't want to eat it and eating it makes me feel generally unfulfilled and kinda blehg#ough. why can't I be normallllll#I'm also not dealing with the whole 'zero human contact' very well tbh. which is weird because I'm a deeply introverted person#and usually spend my days avoiding people like the plague#but idk. it's been literal years since I've spent and extended period of time completely alone#I don't knowwww i don't know#I'm gonna invite some friends over tomorrow and get them to help me eat these dang pies#ALSO. ITS BEEN REALLY COLD TODAY. AND I HAD TO BREAK INTO MY NEIGHBORS' HOUSE#(was not breaking in; I was trying to take care of their dogs since they're out of town)#(but their door code AND their garage door code weren't working#and I didn't have a physical key to use#so I had to push my way in through a back door that'd been blocked by a pile of boxes taller than my head#and squirm into their garage in order to get inside and take care of the dogs)#(was a very stressful way to spend my early waking hours)#i ALSO had to drive to the AIRPORT this morning which SUCKED. had to drop off family#which like I'm happy to help but also airports suck so much ass I hate them#anyway. today was sort of shitty#but mostly I only have myself to blame#did not structure my day well enough
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it is more than mildly bothering me to look up dungeon meshi discussion between fellow anime-onlys and watch people call the funny purple eyed elf boy (thistle) a dark elf. like. i haven't read the manga but ive seen that one strip explaining the difference between them and normal elves in the dunmeshi verse and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that's incorrect i think,
#it BOTHERS ME. IMMENSELY.#can a man not have a skin color?????#sorry for venting about something that absolutely does not matter on main lol#i just think the implied 'all elves are naturally light skinned and dark skinned elves are Some Other Race Inherently Different' is uhhh#it's bad. actually.#yin-thoughts#dungeon meshi#idk???? it's not that big of a deal????? but also i Dislike It Greatly????????#maybe im just overreacting#it's just BORING too. why make dark elves just elves that are black. make em freaky purple cave dwellers or something idk
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Jinn-Bot of Shantiport
set in a cyberpunk Calcutta-inspired city, loosely inspired by Aladdin
chaotic monkey bot who wants to fight in underground mecha/bot tournaments and leave to become a space hero
his human sister, the daughter of failed revolutionaries who has been working her whole life to free their city from oppression and inequality, especially with the recent rumors that their planet is scheduled for destruction
and an old unearthed bot whose function is to observe & record the story of a client who meets the siblings and quickly becomes involved in their lives
and a treasure hunt to find an old and powerful piece of alien tech that has the power to radically change their city
#The Jinn-Bot of Shantiport#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#I really loved this#a little robot with a big personality? TWO of them? im in.#The pacing is a bit weird - the first half could honestly be a contained novella. the second half is a bit all over the place#But I’m ultimately glad to have that extra more complex part of the story#it’s like very action packed with a few dense moments especially like the infodumps about what Lina / her mother’s deal is.#which kinda makes sense on a technical level (Moku learning this all at once) but also I definitely felt a bit confused at why/how some of#the stuff that was going on was happening#I did also find every now and then weirdly worded prose took me out of it? but I can look past that#I felt the side romance was random and weird. I felt like it did a disservice to her otherwise complex character to have her just forget#her goals and values because Hot Man?#idk. it’s lampshaded a bit by being viewed through the POV who also thinks it is weird and makes no sense#but they still get together again in the end…. I would have preferred if they didn’t.#that's mostly complaints LOL but the world is so rich and interesting and i love robots that are little shits (affectionate)#queer books
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i very rarely get a sense of satisfaction from completing tasks. ive heard people say this is an ADHD thing, but idk. personally i think i might just be bad at being alive
#anime life#i wish i could do something for myself but it just feels so hollow. like why fucking bother yknow?#i wrote a lot of my fic Book of Red Murder and then started to lose steam#and i thought maybe posting it would encourage me to finish it#and it did at first#but then there wasn't a lot of readership or energy around it#which like. is fine and not weird. it's not a big deal and it's not like it's something im OWED#and also i had. a bit of a mental breakdown and had to stop being active in the fandom#so now DEFINITELY no one's gonna read it lol#idk i feel bad even posting about it because i don't want anyone to feel bad or like im trying to guilt anyone about it#i just have trouble articulating what i feel and why and it helps me to try to reason it out#no one did anything wrong but i think it's still understandable for me to say that i was discouraged#when it felt like people didn't really like my writing. or. to be honest. me as a person#i guess the lesson here (if there is one at all) is that if you like a fic you should probably tell the person writing it
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growing older is weird once you start becoming more emotionally mature than your parents and start realizing how emotionally instable they are and that none of these fuckers should be allowed to have kids in the first place
#sorry i treat tumblr like a vent blog but. delete this later i promise#fr tho i feel like im at my limit this year#when your first reaction as a parent when you've done something wrong isn't to apologize but say “its not a big deal”#and wonder why your children dont come to you with their problems at all and remain at a cordial distance#or constantly berate them about their spending despite them telling you it's only a certain portion of their income#or complain that their partner is spoiling them with gifts then idk man??? like what do i tell rin to do#stop buying stuff for me? lol
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#def leppard#wowww they are HOT#also i think pt.2 is gonna be ready to post either later tonight or early tomorrow#depending on how I feel after reading over it a thousand more times to make sure it’s good#it’s gonna be a very smutty one lol#idk why but i feel so vulnerable writing smut and posting it but it’s kinda fun so who cares#also I apologize for talking about pt2 a lot but it’s kinda a big deal for me I guess#okay rant over lol
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aot fans putting unsolicited awful takes and tagging them in the main tags then getting surprised by other people dunking on them will always be astounding to me
#like why did you do that#what were you expecting#also this isnt tiktok please take your petty jealousy for tumblr clout somewhere else LOL#also also i can promise you people's fics doing well on tumblr is not nearly a big of a deal as you think it is please go outside#touch some grass go for a walk#get a job idk#this happens every other week#'hER FOLLOWERS ARE COMING AFTER ME'#GIRLY POP YOU TAGGED IT UNDER LEVI ACKERMAN EVERYONE CAN SEE THAT SHIT LOL#just say you want more attention and go honey!
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#i am dying of embarrassment / shame#i was talking to a coworker and another coworker came in to speak with them about something one-on-one so i got the hint to leave#and i feel so embarrassed?!?!?!?#idk why?????? it is so dumb#it isn't a big deal at all#but i feel SO MUCH SHAME!!!!!!#text posts that no one will read because no one interacts with me on this website lol#i miss the old days of tumblr so badly
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it might just be my period, but i feel very annoying. like i’m too much and too intense for ppl and i keep scaring them away, bc they don’t like that
#imao it’s definitely my period#tho i feel like that just anyways#but current context for why i feel like that is my period lol#idk saw something that made me upset even tho it’s not about me#it’s like a generalised statement#i don’t need to be upset about it#but my hormones are just like ‘haha lol you suck x’#and like others things that i’m making way too much of a big deal over#but also idk just weird feelings :/#whatever!!#idk a vent#may or not delete later
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want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#actually i dont mean bald i just mean all one guard length#but hhhhh maybe i'm in an awkard stage maybe not i just CANNOT live like this#middle part is frustrating because it's not perfect in the way it sits side part is frustrating because i look like a girl#i feel like i could go all in with the 4 and then sorta texture a bit with the 2 guard HOWEVER having used the 4 previously. i know#how short that is. it might not look good so i worry#the bright side is it would grow out a bit by the time of the parade but augh i hate this#i'm currently a tightly wound ball of rage sorry. i didn't eat much of anything 2day#tried to call the hospital to get help with the letter/consulation thing preceding top surgery and they were NOT OPEN so idk if they will#be open tomorrow or not. the passage of time has gotten very vague all of a sudden#iiiiiii do not think i am doing well. lol. idk why though! god forbid any of it have a reason#i almost wish i'd relapse just so i could like. eat food again#idk i don't think it would solve it but i feel in my heart it might make things easier#buuuut because relapse is Bad For Me i guess i have to avoid it. well i want to anyways.#one bad day would not a reset make but my previous day happened this year already so...#i dunno it's been so long that i feel like it's not valid or whatever cause it was at an age where i can say it was a 'phase'#.............. i dunno what to do with that information. anyways.#i mean so what if i went all in on it again anyways? i kinda miss it lol. it's not like i could do any serious harm??#(potential infections aside.)#i just want to be creative and i CANT because my stupid brain will NOT think of anything#and the majority of what i have concretely written of this was written... get this .... right when i was trying to stay clean at first#correlation does not equal causation ........ sighs#i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle because i WANT IT to be that bad again#i've never really regretted it & it's never really been because of anything#i just started because i was curious about why someone would do that. that's all#i dont think i've EVER had any of the mental distress i see people in when theyre in these spaces#in one journal entry i made this big deal about wanting to kill myself but *i didn't want to*. i never did.#like sorry old me but it is REALLY hard to believe i've ever been depressed depressed#i just want things to be better and they never are :/ this should be everything i wanted and its just ... not#i'm not really sure how to ....... oh tag limit ok hold on
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Bro how hard is it to use the insert gif function or at least tag and credit the creator of a gif when you use it in your own post 💀💀💀
#vent#i am Fairly Sure that it's one of mine. and it's being used as a header for a fic someone wrote here so it's not like#the focus of it? at least lol but also idc if you wanna use my gifs for that just unless i said it's okay to not credit#(which i have done in the past but not this particular one)#then just. use the insert gif feature. or @ me. not a big deal#i don't block people who insert my gifs into posts unless those posts are offensive in some way#i'm not into x reader fics and ik some people who block people for using their gifs in those fics#so maybe that's why the sneakiness? idk#but i don't block anyone if they insert my gif or tag credit me on an x reader fic unless there's smth offensive in that x reader fic#but just. bruh. lmao#i cannot be fucked to say anything directly but this is the second time that gif has been reposted without credit
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I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement
It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao
#speculation nation#i dont really do birthday parties anymore. havent in a long time. mostly just go out and do smth fun around my bday. ya kno#also have cake but like not in a party way. just like. here's cake lol#but im probably only gonna graduate from college once. which means i might as well live it up and all.#invite all sorts of extended family and people who have known me. etc etc.#actually it just kinda sunk in that i am. Computer and Information Technology (Systems Analysis and Design focus) w a minor in Communication#like those are words. it's a lot of words but actually it really is pretty accurate?? like that's indeed what ive been studying.#now how much i *remember* is another question. considering how long ive taken to get thru school lol#but that's what people will see on my degree. that's my Thing. graduated in Computer Systems and Talking.#idk it's just weird to have spent so much of my life on this and like That's the culmination. it took so much work.#even beyond a normal 4 years. i switched my major *twice*. switched my minor too.#first year engineering to undecided liberal arts (as a temp major trying to switch to computer science bc i couldnt stay in FYE)#but then computer science sucked so i switched to trying to get into computer & info tech. which is different. and better.#and ive been in it long enough now that ive kinda forgotten but it did take some fuckin work to switch into it.#like i had to take certain classes first & i couldnt take them during the semesters that in-major students would take them#and i had to have my gpa up to a certain level etc etc. so many hoops to jump thru. i think it took me at least a year. or more. idr#but i made it in and thats my major. thats my thing. computers and information systems and communication.#doesnt FEEL like im an almost-graduate. but then i think about all the things ive taken and learned.#and maybe i dont remember a lot of the more specific things from these classes. but i took core lessons away from each one.#wont be able to recite the theories but i can live them. and thats the point of an education i guess.#anyways im gonna have to start job searching before too long and eughhbb. need to get my license first tho probably.#which i will... i will.... i have so many things to deal with... my life will be So Different in a year...#it will require me to put in the work now. but i can do it. and then a year from now. i'll hopefully be in a better spot.#living somewhere else. graduated from college. with a license and a car. maybe even an IT job of some kind.#kind of scared of trying to find a Big Boy Job. aka a job that requires a degree and networking and all that shit.#rather than just showing up and being like Hi i can do this job. i am not a total drain of a person. hire me please 👍#hfkahfks so many things to think about. and through it all i am still dealing with DEADLINES...!!!!#but yeah this is why my writing has largely been put on hold. idk i have a lot of things im dealing with rn.
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