#idk why im writing this

[lampcry]

my practice of drawing ideal triangle is a failure

[miyaheestar]

it's actually so funny how i give very different vibes when it's about talking in chat and talking in vc(this doesn't include when im playing games especially horror games)

i can be seen like loud and extrovert in my post or chat but when im on call im pretty uhh how do i say this calm? uhhh idk im only active if im with my long time best friends (bonus point if they're older than me)

i don't really know how to act around kids ig? i mean like teenager kids above 13+

also kids can be super mean even if they dont mean it or joking around and i am very much a sensetive person and also a crybaby since i was a kid HAHAHA

i guess im just too used to be the youngest in everything so it's hard to get along with kids sometimes 😔‼️

[bellamyblake]

Bellarke and leadership

something i wanna talk about now that I’m rewatching s1 and perhaps awfully late realizing for the first time is the part about leadership and especially when it comes for Bellamy and Clarke to take up on those roles.

While yes, it’s true that when Clarke comes down, she tries to take charge and make the others listen to her, I don’t believe she’s in an absolute leadership position, not even when they decide to banish Murphy in 1x04. It’s interesting for her because the progression that’s happening there for her is a bit different-she loses her dad, then she’s locked up, then she comes to earth where she does try to take care of the people but in fact just kind of gets caught up in some personal problems. The first of which is the one with her mom, dad and Wells-it takes some time figuring out what happened there. The other one is a newly created problem that is Finn, falling in love with him, then Raven coming down and her having to first swallow down her feelings for him and then save his life and keep doing that for the good of him and Raven as she can see how much they mean to each other.

In other words, I don’t think she fully assumes the role as a leader until 1x07/ or maybe I dare say 1x08 where she 1st-decides to agree on torturing Lincoln for information which is a big step, a leader step where the decisions weigh on you and it’s not just maps and runnign around trying to find Mount Weather or being in the weird dynamic place beteween an old friend who’s in love with you and a new guy who’s interested in you.

She actually takes a step towards real leadership there and later absolutely fills in those shoes when she meets Anya.

But What I want to talk about here is Bellamy. I believe he assumes the real leadership position at first and carries it on a bit longer before Clarke joins him in. That is of course, a product of the circumestances-he has taken charge a long time ago when his mom put his sister in his hands and told him she was his responsibility. She makes him name Octavia and take care of her, promising to keep her quiet and safe. The whole reason why we were lucky enough to have a Blake siblings flashback was, I believe, because of that-showing where it all came for for Bellamy but not just the understandting behind his current actions (aka taking off the wristbands for his love for his sister) but also why he fits in the leadership position from the moment they hit the ground.

He had already been a parent and a leader for the past seventeen years. With a mom who made sure she did just enoug hto survive but offered no love, he had to fill in a gap between Auora and Octavia, while putting himself away from experiencing what a real family was in order to take proper care for his sister and please his mother. 

When he comes to the ground he tries to ensamble his people, then convinces them taking off the wristbands is good for them (even though he is indeed trying to save himself here FOR Octavia, a part I think people forget often), he surrounds himself with people he trusts but also helps built this camp-organizes the delinquents to build a wall (remember 1x04 “If it wasn’t for her, those idiots would still be building a wall” when he talks about Clarke saying the truth about Wells;), He quickly realizes what’s good for the people-the truth and omitting it in the case with Charlotte because it will safe them in this unstable situation; He cares for them which is shown when he goes out to look for Octavia and Roma and Mbege die. (I hate when ppl say he only started caring about the delinquents later-he did, from the beginning), he went hunting with them, made them work on rations, etc. 

He also makes some very big leadership mistakes-the first one being hanging Murphy and the second one-throwing the radio away in the river when Raven lands. Now that second one is a really big and very heavy decision, one that Clarke if you think about it doesn’t get to make until the end of the season where she agrees on Raven using the hydrozyne to kill the grounders. Yes, he does make it so he can save himself but his personal decision weighs on the whole camp because if the rest of the Ark doesn’t come down, how do they survive. The whole conversation with Jaha in 1x08 where he hallucinates him just proves all that. While for Clarke it’s her dad she sees and misses, Bellamy is the one already beating himself up for mistakes akined to someone who’s ruling and leading. (and who feels the same amount of guilt the council on the Ark does, aka the parallels between Kane and Bellamy starting here)

Then there comes Lincoln and I think that’s the moment that kind of glues Bellamy and Clarke as leaders which is concluded in 1x08 when they bring the guns back home and it’s quite clear and established who is in charge of those kids. 

That is where they take their first big decision together (yes, I scartch Murphy because while he was a hard choice, he was one of them, he made mistakes, a kid died because of him and banishing him was the only thing they could figure out at the moment but Lincoln is an outsider, a grounder, the enemy. And this is their first time trying to decide how to deal with that.) You could see how new in it all they were, how uncertain-they argue and they do not want to do any of that. They are both mentally torn-you could tell so by the looks in their eyes but they’re also fighting with the new reality-the one where the world is cruel and those people out there already killed 10 of their friends and what is there to do?

What is the RIGHT thing?

And all of that was solidified in the last conversation they have in 1x07 where Bellamy picks her hand holding the screw he put in Lincoln’s hand and he says “Who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things.” I believe this is the first time he’s being honest with her, basically screaming ‘I am not this person, I am not a killer, I’m not a torturer but I have to be this now. For my sister. For us. Do you understand?” but she’s lost herself and doesn’t know what to respond so he adds, shyly, almost as if he didn’t want to give himself away “It’s not easy being in charge, is it?” because he already HAS been in charge but now she truly IS too. Finally, in that moment.

[papyskellington]

Some doodles of everyone’s favourite disaster barbarian sorcerer! He really grew into his muscles lmao Might have to click onto it for better quality because idk how tumblr works lmao but I included the little sketches in their own little closeups idk if yall are into that but yea

[d4jamso]

I'm not obsessed with my mutuals, I just admire them all. They're like the evil mastermind and I'm the stupid henchmen who asks what they're next deploy is going to install

[chipeanuts]

To all the blues brothers blog out there : thank you so much for feeding me every day with blues brothers content you have no idea how happy it makes me, your posts are my daily dose of serotonin <3

[dog-with-a-girlblog]

There's a mother I met in a cafe a year ago. She was asking me for advice about her child who has autism and how to deal with their reluctance to go to school both because of the lack of accommodations and because of the transphobia they face from their classmates. And we talked for a looooong time. And every so often I run into her and she tells me about her child like "they're doing better at home! They're getting into coding and have been accepted into a school that can accommodate for them" and like every time I see her I wanna burst into tears because of how nice it is to see kids with supportive parents

[floor-of-the-mind]

I haven't posted on here in forever, but I just got my first job!!! Just kinda felt the need to put this out into the void lol

[inkskinned]

okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.

like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).

but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.

im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.

[liquoriceleavess]

So, East Palace

I last watched it a few years ago, and I've watched it a few times. Once even in chinese without subtitles, its so mesmerising.

And xiao feng, the poor thing, no one has suffered like her. That loser crybaby gu xiao wu, is all about how he lost his mother in childhood and so he decides to take all of the princess's family away. He's just like his adopted mother.

She was sweet and sprightly, trying so very hard to survive to her best in trying times and these gu cousins destroy her existence and her essence.

He's so superficial and stupid, gu xiao wu. He's telling her about the birds in his homeland, like a well built pretty palace is supposed to just erase everything. Is xiao feng some kind of pet, is she supposed to forget her homeland because of him?

It's ironic because he tells shifu that she's not a thing to be passed here and there, as if he's not treating her like a thing himself

So the forgetting waterfall. Alright, she's been spun so far there's no life left of her, but she stayed true to her word to jump in the lake. Its admirable, how hard she tries to be a danshi xiao feng, not a central plains one

She feels guilty for what has happened to her people. How can she not? She feels guilty for loving someone who betrayed her so wickedly.

Gu xiao wu is so strange. He expects her to skip here and there with her feelings, like he murdered everyone and she should immediately forget that, and not only go back to him, but also like him and even, it's preposterous, admire him.

救我 😭

The grasslands are always the most fun of the dramas.

Then there's shifu. I get they were trying to make it a second lead kind of story. From the start, it doesn't work on her part. He loves her, true, whilst she looks at him as a teacher, a person who's been good to her and its written for a few unnecessary moments as a sort of affection because she has to run away, but before that, did she think seriously about shifu?

Whilst with gu xiao wu, she doesn't have any kind of loyalty to him, any kind of story that connects them. There is a now and a future. A future she thinks she chooses. In that day and age, how lucky she must have thought that she could choose someone she loved, instead of some alliance that was forced on her.

Also that awesome grassland wedding? The way gu xiao wu could turn around from that. He has a split personality, seriously.

He always says Li chengyin with all this pride, like it's supposed to impress xiao feng, whilst she had been happier with a tea trader. She doesn't want the facade of the palace, all the power that comes with it. She would probably care more for her little red horse than ceremonies and ornaments.

They wrote him too harsh though. He hardly shows any affection at the palace, I get his doing it because of spies and whatever, its just that it's so long and then it's way too late.

Like shifu said, caring and knowing how to care are different things.

As for shifu, he's a bad guy. That's what he is, like gu xiao wu, only he doesn't have that much to gain from it. If he died, no one would care. He's sworn to his uncle and revenge and whatever, uses xiao feng for that, treating her awfully because of people who aren't even alive.

She doesn't love him, without all the martial arts and betrayal, he's like a second lead in a chaebol drama. Hey palace dramas are actually chaebol dramas, with different costumes 🤔 modern dramas, they wear western costumes and historic dramas, they wear eastern.

Strange, huh. One is taken to be normal, whilst its actually not.

她是我的妻子 😠

There's these touches to this drama that make it special. When she falls in the fountain, and when she falls in the lake at that party, she's wearing those silky dresses that float. When shifu tells gu xiao wu, 离开 in the desert, then again when he's taking her away. When she can't read, and he doesn't tell her and then he leaves her the note, she reads a few letters. He thought she'd know those well enough. 三日见. Also the writing scenes are cute, okay.

And her red dress. The way he sees her first when she saves him and he sees all the red and gold. Epic.

Xiao feng is so sad and its a sad story all of it is sad and also, kind of love at first sight for gu xia wu?

[super-rangers]

I look hot today but there's no one around to appreciate it :(

[torifuckingspring]

everyone got me all curios so i listened to "slut!" and i ah i forgot i find taylor swift kind of annoying lol

[thoughts-left-unspoke]

[katnissandcheesebuns]

little rant bc no one will see lol and i like thats it kinda like the robot but i can just talk to myself! anyway id love conduct an experiment with taylor haters, they wont know its taylor music and like we shall put on different songs and then be like "do these sound the same to u?" and when they say no (its gonna be the same people on reddit that respond to those ask reddit stuff like "who has no talent" shit and then answer taylor bc "all her music sounds the same") and when the people reveal it was the person they wanted to defame so much the people will be forced into isolation and mourning for their lost soul and essence (ps future lou im not saying you have to like taylor, but just because you people dont like her music or her voice doesnt mean she doesnt have talent)

[spyderschaos]

Strong beautiful woman and her pathetic wet dog boyfriend

Red below cut

Chat draw your otp like this

[multch]

Thoughts.

Art the clown x reader [18+]

CW: actually smut \ afab masterbation

Your boss admires your dedication to staying back late to finish off repairing most nights. What he doesn't know is affiliation with the ‘Miles County Killer’.

Who knew sewing pays in a good view…

You whipped back as the bloody black and white suit whacked you in the face. If art was anything- it certainly wasn't subtle. The smell was revolting but what did you expect? Daisies? Of course he’d smell like a dead animal, he’s a murderer for Christ's sake! Still, you would've appreciated it if he at least let you set down the jacket you had to repair first- or had the decency to cover up a little instead of walking around the studio with everything out on display.

Tonight marks the 3rd year since you had first encountered this killer clown. You worked at a humble costume shop- Often very late to scramble enough of a paycheck to pay rent, utilities, whatever, ect.

On the strange night you two met, he had walked in- completely skipping past you- and searched for some sewing supplies. He went so far as to have even checked out the staff room you had accidentally left unlocked. Regardless, he eventually waddled up to your counter and dinged the bell on your desk several times. He had waved his hands around like a maniac trying to make sense until you realised he was gesturing towards the sewing needle in your hand. If he wasn’t so charming, maybe you would’ve called the police on him right then and there.

Maybe you should’ve...

Since then, you always patched up his ripped and tattered clown costume and he would repay you by helping out around the shop when you worked late. Repairing shelves, moving boxes and pestering you incessantly while doing so. 

It was a shock when you had first discovered his more malicious side. The ”Miles county killer” plastered on every television screen for miles. You couldn’t tell what had scared you more; Art’s heinous acts or the simple fact that he seemed to spare you.

But why?

The question haunted you. Your moral compass never seemed too correct however you understood the evil that seemed to possess him was devilish. What you couldn’t understand was what a being so sinful could've thought about a seamstress that made him show not only mercy, but companionship…

Honk! Honk!

Art could’ve killed you with how well he’d scare you. They didn’t call him the ‘Terrifier’ for nothing you thought. You were just minding your business- lost in thought- until Art practically made you jump out of your skin from his infuriating infatuation with his stupid little hand horn.

He had crept right up behind you and placed himself close enough to feel the cold air escape his lungs. You didn’t know how you didn’t notice but his horn was practically touching your ear. The sound it let out was more than enough to make your eyes widen. It had startled you so much you fell backwards on your stool. Luckily for you though, Art was there to catch you.

His skin was smooth and frigid. His hands having responded by grasping your waist with his rough hands- You were accidentally pressed right up against his naked chest. 

His touch felt electric. The contrast between your human heat and his icy exposure was a feeling like no other. He helped you back up onto your seat but by then it was too late. Fuck.

Seeing him naked was one thing but feeling his bare touch was another. Your minor interest in him had easily turned into obsession over the course of the last few years. A mysterious stranger showing up out of the blue. Saturated in blood. Torn up and often mutilated.  How couldn't you be intrigued?

It felt like there was no one else in the world he treated like you.

You felt special.

Protected, even.

You tried your best to resume your repair but by the time you reached the hole by the gusset of his suit, you had lost it.

*

Maybe excusing yourself to “go to the bathroom” might’ve been a bit overkill but there was no way you wouldn’t melt in the heat that you felt just simply looking at him. His playful taunts. The way he bats his eyelashes at you. Even his disgusting black smile!

These ‘normal’ acts of his felt misconstrued into one big flirty mess. 

Despite your efforts, you were clearly just too horny to stop. Every time you think about him in this moment, you couldn’t help but remember how he’s outside right now in nothing but a mask and his flimsy little top hat. In times like this, you couldn’t help but shake your fist in the air at Art’s infamous refusal to wear anything under his suit.

(You tried to convince him once by buying him a pair of boxers, but in retaliation he had ripped out the crotch and walked out- giving you the full view of his “pencil”)

Maybe it was the sleep deprivation talking but deciding to work one out sounded great right now.

You lent up against the red tile wall of the staff bathroom. It was cold. Perfect.

Slowly fondling yourself, your hands snake around your skin. One climbing up your stomach to slip under your bra. The other sneaking down the waistband of your shorts.

God, he made you so wet from just one touch. You slid in one finger first- wincing back at your contraction around so little. It made you only more hungry for what your eyes had feasted on so often yet you had never been given the chance to taste it yourself.

Seeing it made you understand why this clown always went commando because he really was hiding away a whole balloon animal. It was BIG.

Imagining it made your mouth feel empty..

You slip in another 2 fingers. Thrusting into yourself enough to make you press hard against the wall behind you. You were so cold but inside was a warmth you wanted him to feel so badly.

Your eyes squeezed down hard. You wanted to see him. His face. His body, as he thrusted into you.

You wanted him to trap you beneath his form with his inhuman strength.

To be scared he'd rip you in half if you ran away was a major turn on for you -the idea of becoming less than a victim of his by becoming a slave for his enjoyment.

Imagining it made your pussy throb, feeling empty despite your aggressive movement…

You tried to muffle your moans but the more you indulged in your fantasy, the more you struggled to show some self restraint.

A fourth finger, then a fifth.

Pounding harder and faster into your core, you thought back to all the toys you brought reimagining them as his girth. 

Art was more than a friend to you. You ached for him nightly. You felt him in your core. You've dreamt of his touch and woken up in a hot, sticky sweat because of him.

You wanted to be honest with him but only Hell knows what he'd do to you if he didn't feel the same.

The possibilities made you salivate. Being his victim would be an indulgent death for sure..

You feel yourself very quickly feeling your release build as an air of tension fills the room. It's sickly sweet.

Rubbing your pretty little pussy until it's puffy and squirting when he's in the room outside was your tipping point.

You let out one final wince before your knees give out- causing you to crouch down on the frozen tile floor. 

You can't help but imagine it's him holding you after a scene of absolute passion.

*

It's only been 10 minutes since you had excused yourself but once you had made your way back out, Art was nowhere to be seen.

You're embarrassed to say the least but you decide to push forward with your plans for tonight. 

You turn around to close the bathroom door behind you only to find a familiar face greeting you instead.

There stood Art the clown, leaning up against the wall with a shit eating grin- All while still being fully naked.

Oh god no…