#idk what would be in my top 5
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This is one of my favorite episodes ngl
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Nostalgia For A Time That Never Existed in Washington DC - 26 May 2024
#so fun fact i feel insane#5sos#5 seconds of summer#luke hemmings#luke#nostalgia tour#nostalgia tour dc n1#kh4f post#we are nearly a month into tour#homie wore the same suit the first three shows#and NOW . N O WWWW suddenly there are tank tops involved#were the crops not enough#i reacted to this news in such an absurd fashion#like#you would have thought I'd never seen arms before#idk what happened but my brain has fried and this made me lose what was left of my mind#between this and the Nikkie video earlier i stg I've been a hysterical all day#get it together Crystal 😌#anyways#he looks good!
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Romance is so fun. Love writing romance. But Christ alive, the universe that some love stories take place in sound like a hell dimension to me. A universe where all characters are defined by their romantic endeavours and nothing else. All your closest friends are like unblinking dolls who are unreasonably obsessed with who you're kissing and don't want to talk to you about anything else. Allonormativity suffocation chamber.
#ive never liked it when characters would hardcore ship their friends and make being a matchmaker like a huge chunk of their personality#its always just felt so unpleasant and uncomfortable to me. blegh#an example i can think of off the top of my head is Alya from ladybug#she was such a girlboss and for WHAT. so much of her screentime dedicated to pushing her ship together#that might have changed idk. i havent watched ladybug in like 5 years#anyway i much prefer it when characters are like ''i support you. hope that goes well for you. i dont gaf tho''
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i think a good yandere needs to at least be a little pathetic
#thinking about nonsense again this morning#like what makes a yandere excellent at their job you know LMAO#also im like comparing “yandere's” made by people from different countries in my mind#i feel like u need to remove the shame from ur body if u wanna make a top tier yandere#not shaming anyone cause ik i would have problems doing it#like a part of my brain is always like...but that bad#so it ruins any attempts#u always feel like u need to rehabilitate them#i dont think that necessarily ruins it tbh cause ive seen it done well before#but....that person will be going to jail#“jessica he killed 5 people you cant stay with him sorry”#either that or they need to leave cause they cant stay here you know?#idk if im making sense#also i think u need to be honest about the type of character ur making#like if u wanna make a yandere#do it with ur chest and tell people how its gonna be#so people who hate that shit wont get attached to said character and get upset that theyre toxic#well i mean it can still happen with warnings but u know#itll be less of an issue#i think being honest will also prevent u from being kinda wishy washy with it if that makes sense#U GOTTA DO IT WITH CONFIDENCE AND NO SHAME#or its gonna flop#its like trying to write smut with shame....
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we COULD make the best english arsenal right back poll. ben white vs lee dixon
#and tbh i don't know what I'd think cuz the difference in the modern game...#with lee dixon i think of him as part of that unit yknow like there's that one quote from idk who#about how (mostly) none of those 4/5 were like individually top defenders but together...#white is so underrated and southgate hates him. it would be tight in my HEART.#Footie.txt#Sorry tumblruser santicazorla for responding to ur tags with a NEW POST with my tags.
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Finally started hacking away at the overgrown rose bushes and I'm so fucking exhausted and in pain 😭 bitch....
#i wasnt even doing a lot which is what makes me mad bc like i could see if i was doing the bushes yeah id be so tired but man#i wasnt even doing that much 😭 i did fill three lawn bags of clippings though and i hacked away the limbs that grab at the#sidewalk and the sides that grip onto you when you go to get the trash bins but theres still more i could do#i didnt wanna do TOO much but i wanted to make the petite rose bush less tall (its invasive to the area :( didn't learn that til this year#but if we hack away at it every year or so it's fine?? i mean its not like they throw seeds the same way say a maple tree would or like#poison ivy so it's not SPREADING out new plants it's just a monster sgdgdgd) anyway i wanted that to stop being so tall and#make it stop shading the flower boxes but i DID leave the now vacant birds nest covered so maybe another birdy will like it ... next year#sgdgdgdg since i think the major egg laying season is ending/over and most adult birds dont stay in a nest iirc like they find somewhere to#stay but the purpose of a nest is to keep babies in and safe but idk i could be wrong wgdgdggd#ANYWAYS i left that. the plant itself has burrs or whatever like these growths which you cannot completely#remove without just getting rid of the plant and starting over so we just leave it (doesnt seem to be hurting the 7ft spindly giant any)#i should hack away at the top of the 5 petal rose bush (also invasive iirc :( explains it's size sdgdgdgdg) so my garden can have more sun#but we'll see... 👀✂️#i feel like shit though agdgdgdg im tired of feeling like shit man
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Top 5 Shows :)?
oh god… Alola why must u do this to me
ummmmmm ok…. Thankfully this wasn’t too hard cuz I realized, while thinking of what shows I’m into, that I’m not into that many shows actually. Or atleast I couldn’t think of a lot so 🤷♀️
I think the hardest part of this was thinking of what order I’d put them in haha
Attack on Titan
Arcane
Jujutsu Kaisen
Beastars
Fairy Tail
thanks for the question Alola!
#I was trying so hard to think of what I’d put for number 5#Tryna think of what show I’d put just internally like “would I put this show above this show???”#Idk#i could barely think of any shows in the first place#I could only of like 9 shows im into off the top of my head#But ya#anyways#thanks for the ask!#appreciate it#My post#ask#my friend#fren amare
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when i see people with the same ugw as me but theyre taller i feel so bad about myself
#idk i just. a bmi of under 15 is considered where its far more dangerous#and im already very unhealthy so im just not sure i wanna go below that. i guess 5 more pounds would be that big a deal#ugh. my ugw was less than that before when i was younger bc i was shorter. ive been doing this so long ack#i used to wanna be 70 but i was shorter then and alwo didnt understand the danger as much and also didnt care as much#but at this moment i dont wanna die and u less i suddenly lose all my free time to do what i 3njoy i dont think thats gonna change#ugh. 80 wouldnt be that bad would it. ill see how i look once im 85 and then ill put effort into gaining muscle wnd losing fat before i#go qnd lower my ugw. previously when i weighed 105 my ugw was 90#part of me wants to lower it way more into the dangerous zone bc i know im never gonna look like a lot of the insanly thin ppl in thinspo#unless im very dangerously underweight but also.i will be so tired if i do that. and ill be too tired to do my favorite thing. and as much#as being skinny is important to its not the most important thing. simply being skinny usnt gonna make me happy and fix my problems#i wont be able to just look in the mirror and feel ok. but my fav thing does do that. and its always my top priority to keep that available
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there's no feeling quite like attempting to play all the parts of thin white lies on piano and realising. there is A LOT to work with here
#thin white lies#quickly becoming one of my fav songs#idk why i never tried to play it on piano before because damn#like the bass line in octaves with the little guitar riff on top? perfection#and the contrast of the staccato bass line and the legato verse is just perfect then chorus. THIN WHITE LIES four straight octaves#i can't even remember the original key but for some reason it is perfect in e minor. i know i transposed it from something#to be able to roll straight into it from teeth and then overlay nitsw#got the dying electric piano from the 90s to go on strings setting and i love it so much. can't decide what sounds better#silver arranges calm#silver arranges 5sos#5sos#5 seconds of summer#calm#twl#silver creates#legit musically this has to be one of the best things i've ever taken apart. and you wouldn't expect it would you? this deep in the album
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okay precipitated by me getting to do a proper (half) dance as a boy today the way there’s so many layers to gender presentation in heteronormative partner dance forms (like polish dance). ive been thinking about this pretty much constantly since i started doing it again.
there’s the gender of the dancers, which for performance in my experience 95% of the time match the positions they dance in and the costumes they wear - girls on the right, boys on the left, only doing the dance moves that matches their gender, and girls in dresses/skirts and the rest of the “girl” outfits, and boys in trousers and vests and the rest of the “boy” outfits. to me, when i perform polish dance it feels almost like performing drag, because the performance (usually) counts so much on the farce that the couple dancing together is a romantic couple (which we quite rarely actually are). putting on the costumes and the makeup and everything is performing gender and performing heterosexuality and performing gender in a heterosexual way.
but dance generally attracts more girls than boys. in my experience, at practise the more experienced female dancers will dance as boys (which i’ve found myself doing only recently). in performance, we’ll sometimes cut girls so that every couple has both a boy and a girl in it. but we don’t always do this. how does a cishet-heavy space deal with this? most of the time for us, we’ll have two-girl couples where both girls are wearing the girl outfit, but one girl is dancing in the boy position. so there’ll be two girls who look like girls, but one is doing the actions that a boy does. i’ve seen other groups have the girl in the boy position dress up as a boy, so one girl looks like a boy and is doing the actions that a boy does.
i would love one day to somehow be a part of a queer polish dance group, because there are so many ways to play with costume and position. a couple with a girl in the girl’s place and a boy in the boy’s place, but the girl is wearing the male outfit and the boy is wearing the female one (which we as a group have kind of seriously joked about doing before). a girl wearing a dress and a boy wearing trousers, but the girl is in the male position and the boy is in the female position. the above examples, with two girls or two boys, either wearing either outfit. and then of course you can mix costume items, pairing male jackets with female skirts, aprons over trousers, messing around not only with gender but with the specifically demarcated traditional outfits, which are so formalised and precise. there are so many ways to fuck with and construct or deconstruct gender presentation when there are three (at least) levels – gender of the performers, gendered dance positions, and gendered clothing.
#this is all like. 1. assuming more binary trans people are being accepted as their gender and 2. isn't accounting for nonbinary people#which again: what i would give to be a part of a queer polish dancing group#its just kind of a meditation on the way different levels of binaries work#and also like. blah blah blah im an australian doing polish dance in australia (surrounded by a lot of polish people). idk if thats relevent#if there are any purists in the crowd tonight#<get real is my message#shut up ulrike#i had meant this to be like. 5 sentences tops.#danceposting#polish dance
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i told y’all this would be my top song 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 i have never predicted it correctly til this time lmao
#skz was my top artist also not surprising#juice world was 5 :(( he’s always in my top rip#k pop has takin over my tops though basically#I was worried my Spotify wrap up was gonna be depressing af bc of how my life has done a flip 🤣🤣😭#but luckily was not depressing bc we kick in life in the ass finally#I said ‘this shit hurted but we movin on’ and actually put actions where my mouth is#good for me#s2g though everytime something would piss me or or I get upset I put this song on 🤣🤣🤣#also I finally messaged chicken boy and it’s my turn to reaping bUT I KEEP OVERTHINKING IT#I KINDA AM LIKE REGRETTING MESSAGING BC NOW I HAVE TO KEEP ANSWERING BUT IDK HOW TO HIT ON HIM SO I PROBABLY WONT#BC I WAS CASUAL#BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO AFTER THE SAMLL TALK#I CANT#DO IT
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having thoughts about how high school can be something so integral to your entire personality and life and yet when you return you realize it meant nothing at all to those around you
#personal#prompts#not kpop#was thinking about making this a haikyuu thing honestly#but idk where it would have went#like just imagine#suga goes back to visit karasuno sometime#maybe 5 or 10 years in the future#returns to those halls where he felt like a king for a short while#volleyball was only a tiny part of his life in the end#but he brought his team to nationals! he was there!#AND kept up his grades and graduated top of his class with honours and everything!#and maybe it's a little narcissistic to believe that the teachers might remember him#but he finds himself honestly surprised when nobody sees him at all#anyways who am i kidding this is just me#and what kind of really hit me was like#my friend was with me and he was the class clown#skipped class failed tests out of uniform#great guy but not a great student#and EVERY teacher remembered him#meanwhile i was just another kid#theres one of me every year top of the class perfect marks and nothing else to show for it#just another person who peaked in high school#and it hurt to realize that i wasnt so special after all#how conceited can i get?#im exaggerating the teachers i really liked remembered me and it was amazing to talk to them#but like. really. it kinda. was something#anyways im stuck in this weird place where i both think i was amazing and also think i am a huge waste of space#not imposter syndrome not extreme self confidence but some secret third thing#anyways this got WAY too long good BYE
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#i…………i have……………i have a fucking DATE tomorrow !!!#im going on a motherfucking DATE tomorrow?????#not only am i going on a DATE tomorrow but im going on my FIRST?? DATE?? tomorrow??? AND I PLANNED IT??? kinda???#bro. bruh. bra. breastie. ive got a motherfucking date tomorrow and >i< asked >him< out!????#we’re gonna go to the store to get snacks and then we’re watching this christmas romcom that was filmed in my hometown that’s sposed to be#really shitty & we’re both such suckers for shitty movies aldhakdja. fuuuuuuuck. im going on a date tomorrow yall. what the fuck. WHAT THE F#yall im going on a date tomorrow. im. im so excited??? im so excited!!! i have a DATE?? tomorrow????? with a boy???? that i like??? and i???#fuck what if we kiss!!??? what if we hold hands??!!! WHAT DO I WEAR !!!!?????!!!????!!!!!!??!!!!!#fuck what do i wear……………………ive got like sweaters? or this neat little turtleneck tank top? but what would i wear with it it’s freezing??#i was thinking my overalls but uhh….is that like??? idk.. is that too casual slash not very dateish??#what says This Is A Date but is still comfy enough that i can sprawl the fuck out on his couch to watch movies in the ideal position#wait………..i could…….i might use him as a pillow…….omgggggggg…….ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that’s so fucking cute alfhskdjskfjsldndns#fuck i really hope he kisses me. idk. is rhat getting hopes up or something? ctrl^5can you tell i have issues letting myself be excited?ct^5#it doesn’t matter!!! it’s exciting!!!! im excited!!!!!! i have a fucking date!!!!!!! with a guy i really like!!!!!!! and i wanna kiss him!!!#he’s just some guy#feeling very Oh GOD what if WHEN HE SEES ME—i like him and HE KNOWS IT???? about all this hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaah. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH#HOLY HEELLLLL!!!!!!! I HAVE A DATE TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK???????????????? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oh my god what do i wear………..should i do makeup??? nahhh. i dont think im gonna. i wanna be as comfy as possible & im still experimental#fuckin. what if we kiss. what if we. you know. get together. and like i’ll have a boyfriend. holy shit what the fuck. i could have a boyfrie#i could have a boyfriend????? what the fucking hell????? what if it goes well and we kiss and he wants to get together???? how the hell do r#relationships start???? uggghhhhh!!!!!! writing about romance is so much easier than living it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can write meet cutes and#first kisses and getting togethers all day fucking long but FUCK if i’ve gotta go on a REAL LIFE DATE on my own!!????!!!!!#holy shit. i could go home for christmas and just be sat there like. 🧍they dont know that i have a boyfriend🧍#wooooooaaaaaaahhhhhh. what a goddamn trip that will be. what the shit. holy fuck we could kiss??? we might kiss???? two besT FRIENDS????#THEY MIGHT KISS????? THEY SHOULD KISS!!!!!!!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLYYYYY SHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTT!!!!!!! i have a date tomorrow.#🧍#i—#i have a date tomorrow—
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still annoyed In Trousers isn't on spotify if only because Whizzer Going Down usurping Little Shop in my top 5 is exactly the kind of dumb thing I'd find hilarious
#that's a lie; it's probably Your Lips and Me or Love Me for What I am that would be the top#maybe? idk#i am a sucker for all of trina's songs in in trousers#also yes ALL of my top 5 songs are from little shop of horrors#ya never know is somehow on there???? i listened to that one so much??#did not see that coming!#placeholder tag
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Having a mental breakdown over the video of seb and mark's Singapore date... 🫠
#clutching my chest like some victorian maiden#idk why i didnt realize there was video evidence but AAAAAAHHHHH#cant stop biting my hand trying to contain myself LOL#what watching a 14 yr old video at 5 am does to a man#but anyways im just idek#i have so many thoughts about this video#all the pics made me freak out enough but the vid! THE VID!!!#im just rly glad this exists#cause there's not too much content from back then compared to now#so having like a video of them basically on a date is like a precious gem to me sjdkfk#i would be like 'heres my top 10 thoughts' but it would just be incoherent rambling and keyboard smashes#cant even make it through a 4 min vid without pausing constantly to go AAAAGGHHH#forgive me its 5 am and im still sick#*actually yknow i thoughts the pics were *a lot* but there's so many things in this vid version i cant handle#HOW DOES THIS EXIST BUT THANK GOD IT DOES#seb has literal heart eyes my god#i need to stop bcs i keep having to come back to edit these tags every time i get 10 secs further#to me this vid is just: mark webber and his str boywife seb#sebmark out here doing pr challenge vids before they were cool#someone in the comments saying seb looks like a 'kleine mädchen' we get it hes babygirl#the vid descrip being 'MW and SV spend an evening in singapore' 😵💫😵💫#alright i finished the vid *clutching it in my arms*#ty to the random person on tiktok who linked it i owe you my life#srsly tho finding these artifacts is <3 to me#catie.rambling.txt
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I've just had such an awful fucking time
#i woke up. checked my phone for 5 Seconds. dropped between the top of my bed and wall#of which it is IMPOSSIBLE to reach down as its a 1 cm gap and my bed is a solid rectagular prism barring one SMALL tunnel along the back#lengthwise side lets say#this is at 530 am and i have barely slept if at all#my bed is so fucking heavy i CANNOT move it#i emptied cupboards took blackets and mattresses off doesnt matter still wont budge an inch#i managed to use my yard stick to blindly knock my phone onto that small tunnel? hole? idk space i guess in the back of my bed#except NOW i cannot JUST reach in and get as my arm is shorter than the LENGTH of my bed#so what do i do??? i shimmy into the space that is JUST large enough that i can fit my shoulders into it but i have to lay on my side and#like not breath too heavy#i bring with me the yard stick and shimmy in as deep as my hips. now i can JUUUUSSSSTTT barely reach my phone with the yard stick and hook#the edge of it enough to pull the phone in but by bit until i can FINALLY reach it with my finger tips and shimmy my way out of there#it is NOW after 615#i also spent 15 minutes having a full on breakdown because WHAT THE FUCK and also i am so tired and stressed and that was truly awful#i will now TRY to sleep and its only 50/50 whether or not im actually able to#i think if i killed myself that would actually be a very reasonable response to all of this because i SWEAR TO GOD this is ridiculous
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