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bropunzeling · 1 year ago

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Director's commentary, anything from mattdrai soulmate AU (or future snippets!)

hello anon! gosh it's been a while since ive looked at this one; here's the early section where they are in germany and going for a little walk:

Leon harries Matthew until they’re both dressed and ready to go, grabbing a spare key from the table in the hall. The weather outside, once they get there, isn’t too bad; it’s a little brisk, but nothing that either of them can’t handle compared to an Alberta spring. Matthew still looks shivery, though, hands tucked into his sweatshirt pocket and head bowed. [poor bondsick matthew! in all seriousness figuring out how to portray bondsickness was honestly really fun - just being a pathetic lil mess until someone touches you. idk if i ever said so explicitly in the fic/fully committed, but in my head/memory as of now, i think it's one of those things that is not so much caused by physical distance but by emotional distance. they haven't figured out/reconciled their feelings = you get sick. leon leaving was just a triggering event. but the beauty of never saying so explicitly is i can't get it wrong either way lmao.]

“Hey,” Leon says, bumping Matthew with his elbow until Matthew looks up. “You okay?�� he asks, feeling like a broken record, but there’s not—what else is he supposed to do? [leon just actively flailing throughout the whole of the 2022 sections was also fun. he's a demonstrative guy but it's hard to be demonstrative when you don't have a clear sense of what either of you want. also, he is not yet willing to internally acknowledge how important matthew is to him, so he's just gonna... kinda suck at it.]

“Yeah,” Matthew says flatly. There’s big purple circles under his eyes. It makes Leon think again about how badly Matthew’s taking it, much worse than how Leon’s doing. Sure, he supposes he didn’t feel great for the twenty hours they were separated by an ocean, but he also didn’t look like he’d been run over by a zamboni. [bc you are not in emotional turmoil my guy]

Leon knows, at this point, that he should know better, but he’s still not sure how exactly all of this works. Bond-sickness is a thing from romance novels and weepy made-for-TV movies, not for a couple of hockey players who are regularly a continent apart. [again because it's an emotional thing, and leon isnt ready to clue into the emotional aspects of their relationship - purposefully oblivious] Leon leaving shouldn’t have done anything, he’s pretty sure. What difference would the Atlantic make, compared to North America? [bc you ~left~ him/aren't easily accessible anymore!]

Besides, in every depiction of bond-sickness he’s seen—which was mostly the one movie Kim watched on repeat when she was thirteen, some weepfest based on a Nicholas Sparks novel that Leon got so sick of he threatened to snap the DVD in half [my favorite thing about writing aus is figuring out alternate media for aus. i love a shitty reality tv concept. i love a bad romance novel. i love an ed sheeran ballad. it's the most fun part and also is such an easy way to add color and a sense of heft to your world building.]—it always happens to both sides of the bond. He’s pretty sure that if Matthew’s sick, he should be too, or else neither of them should be. [more hinting at one-sidedness] Which—that’s something he’s not sure he wants to interrogate too closely.

“Here,” Leon says finally, pulling at Matthew’s arm until he finally manages to get at Matthew’s hand. “Let me just—”

The second his fingers wrap around Matthew’s, Leon has a sensation of realignment, like one of his joints has eased back into place. Matthew starts to look more alive, color returning to his face as he sighs with relief. It’s kind of fucked up, how much touching makes things better, but it’s kind of cool, too, that this is all it takes. [one of my fave lines! (a) i think that would be the appeal of a thing like a bond to me, that you can make each other feel better and (b) i like it as an unconscious acknowledgement on leon's part that he wants matthew to feel better. he gives a shit! it isn't really platonic anymore even if he can't see that or admit it]

“This okay?” Leon asks, darting a glance at Matthew before looking down the street.

“Yeah,” Matthew says, fingers squeezing once. “I mean—if you don’t mind.”

“Whatever will help,” Leon says, more sincerely than he means to.

Leon started their walk without any destination in mind, but it isn’t far from his parents’ new house to the west bank of the Rhine. Once they get to the river, they stop, looking out at the Rodenkirchen bridge, huge and coppery green; the trees dotting the riverbank on the opposite side; the water reflecting the bridge as it flows north. There are ducklings following their parents down through the current, people walking past with dogs and strollers or only themselves. It’s peaceful to be around other people, to hear pieces of their conversation and the rush of the river and Matthew’s steps in time with his own. [i never made it to cologne but it looks really gorgeous in pictures! love a big bridge by the river. fixes me every time]

He wonders what it’s like for Matthew, somewhere unfamiliar, where not even the background noise is the same. [there's a thing about this that like, is tricky to articulate but i'll do my best lol - when they were both in alberta, they were both far from/couldn't always go home, which is a theme i find compelling (see marriage bets) but leon is obviously more separated. and during the 2022 sections of the fic, it was fun to explore matthew as the one far from home, in an unfamiliar environment, with leon as the one fixed point. idk! it's a fun theme.]

“Want to go farther?” he offers, tugging their hands towards the river. “Not too bad right now.”

Matthew nods, fingers tightening around Leon’s. “Sure,” he says. “If you want to.”

“Yeah,” Leon says. Now that he’s looking at Matthew, it’s like he’s gotten stuck, gaze snagged on Matthew’s eyes, as clear and blue as the spring sky. [ur in love with him. hope that helps.] He has to blink hard before he can look away, back to the tree-lined path and the river ahead. “Yeah, I want to.”

They spend another half an hour walking down the river and back, until it’s too cold to continue. [i just love a romantic walk!] Then they turn down into the neighborhood, wandering streets that should be more familiar to Leon than they are. [another bit of that far from home theme; what even is home in the first place if you've spent your adult life somewhere else?] Eventually they find a café and Leon gets them coffee, more to warm their hands more than anything else. Matthew stumbles through a “Danke schön” when he takes his.

“Did you practice or something?” Leon asks, raising his eyebrows.

The tips of Matthew’s ears flush, [he has been practicing for at minimum six months and at least a year. maybe started during those summer calls. he has an irrational hatred for the duolingo owl] and he takes a long sip of coffee. Leon decides not to push. It’s just—unexpected, is all.

Eventually they find their way back to the right street. Matthew’s shivering again. Leon should’ve given him one of his heavier jackets; they’re close enough to the same size. [them being the same build is important and sexy to me] He’ll remember next time.

“You good?” he asks again.

Matthew nods, takes another sip of coffee. “This is strong,” he says, narrowing his eyes.

“I’ve been telling you, your coffee is shit,” Leon says easily, accepting the misdirection. [european coffee just is better. alas.]

“Just because you’re a snob,” Matthew retorts, and they’re back to not quite normal, but closer. When Matthew nearly shoves him off the sidewalk mid-argument, it’s practically a relief. [they will always be a little bit butting heads but in a fun flirty way :)]

#ask meme #soulbond au

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exhaustedbunnytm · 10 months ago

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The Cursed Hands of the Tortured Artist

Months before my hands started to be a source of pain I was commissioned to make an artwork. For the past 1.5 months I have dragged my painful hands through making this tiny (for my preferred artistic practice) piece. It is due to be delivered tomorrow and tonight I finally finished it.

I asked my partner what he thought and he said it was “nice”. Just nice. and then he said something along the lines of “are you going to add more things? usually you do a lot more.” and then he said something along the like “idk, your work is normally so in your face with a message and a feeling and what you made is more abstract. I dont know what to say”. I know what he means, I understand what he was trying to say. We have been together for years, he knows my work very intimately. But ‘nice’?…

And now I am in my feelings for this was the first art piece ive made in months because my hands hurt all the time, it is physically painful to make art, it was painful every step of the way, and I have had to grieve the loss of using my hands in a way that allows me to do the art process I just figured out that was so fucking good. And i am trying to find ways to adapt it to work for where I am at now. But now i just make nice art. Its just nice.

Its nice if a friend buys you coffee, its nice if you lend someone your umbrella, its nice to help an elder across the road. A mug with a scented candle inside at fucking homegoods is nice And now my in your face, statement making, meaningful reflection of me in its purest raw form, art is amongst the nice things at homegoods.

It took me so long to make what I made, I cant physically make more, all the art I had planned has to wait because i cant physically make it. And I know my partner was trying to be supportive and we talked about it together but like damn.

I feel like I am being incredibly dramatic but also my heart is breaking a little bc I lost the ability to make work the way I want to and (Ive touched on this in a previous post) is a very core part of me that I never thought I would lose.

So anyway….

I hate my hands and I would like some new ones. And I make homegoods nice art now. I will not be a great artist one day, I will only be a nice one.

P.S. I will get over this and find new was to adapt my art practice and make it accessible for me to make what i want. It just is going to look very different and takes a lot of energy and time of which I have very little of. I am just a sad little lad who has big feelings and needs to take a hot bath with LUSH’s new ‘wallow in my own misery’ bath bomb for a few hours.

TLDR: I hate my hands, they hurt all the time and I would like some new ones. And I make homegoods nice art now. I will not be a great artist one day, I will only be a nice one. Eventually Ill get over it and figure out how to make that great art shit again.

#cfs #chronic fatigue #chronic fatigue syndrome #chronic illness #chronic pain #exhaustedbunnytm #tortured artist #joint pain #tw vent #vent post #mentally tired

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figula · 1 year ago

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more Yelling into my blog hole

today started badly but ended decent, i think it helped that the period is finally ending

my emotions are atm really really tied to ben's which is driving me nuts actually, just bc he's having a bad day DOES NOT MEAN I HAVE TO ALSO HAVE ONE and logically i know this but like. i get so upset and worried and basically just distraught whenever he gets into one of his depresso days and i dont even really know why bc i am not worried he's going to kill himself or anything. like idk what the actual mechanism behind me getting upset IS? i asked him earlier as well if its as bad as it got after his break up with his gf before me, they were together for like 6y, and he sort of snorted + was like no not even close i have apologised for this bc i feel like he should be alloewd to be sad without me also immediately becoming sad like ugh ugh what is that... ben was like "its not ideal but it is also gratifying"

i also showed him today my Ben Mood Log which ive been working on lately, it logs the time and date of every time he got sad since the beginning of september. it made him a bit weepy (i think in a good way) which i did not add to the log this was nov's log

the blue lines are whenever he had a day with a few hours or more of crying. the green lines came with the app and its things like "halloween". from this we can determine he actually loves mondays?

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elysiuminfra · 2 years ago

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cecil culinary advneutres

part 1 of idk

hi so im documenting my food experimentation. today i made

this! fried bread! it may not look like much but it actually turned out very good. first few tries were weird, but the later ones were much better.

i thought about documenting my adventure so i have something to look back on. read if you’d like :) let me tell you my tale of adventure in the kitchen

ok so i watched Brian David gillbert’s botw cooking video and saw him make bread in a pan. He said it was good so I was like hmmm fried bread. Then I remembered my bf loves frybread and i was lik hmmmmm i wanna make it

so i look up a paratha recipe and go on that. it did not turn out like paratha, which is a type of flatbread, that is much flatter than this bread, and is also cooked differently. i went off script entirely because I was like but hmmm I can add this and this and this (this is how I cook. without fail every time) but also I already know how to make challah so I know what Works in bread and what Doesn’t (however i am wading into uncharted territory by not going on a recipe. DO NOT DO THIS. unless you are ok with failure sometimes. not everything works and thats ok :)! ) but you think like ok yeah im confident this should be simple right

wrong I took 3 hours to get up hyping myself up for bread. I was like I’m gonna make bread and then for 3 hours I simply didn’t. didnt do anything in those 3 hours instead of think about making bread and not actually making bread. #procrastination

ok so I get up and make my dough and get lost in the whimsy of creation. put an egg in there, some honey, which the recipe did not call for (but it did work!) but btw do not ask for measurements I don’t remember (ill list ingredience though) but like. fuck it we ball i operate on vibes

here it is before and after flattened (which btw i FURTHER flattened by hand (because I don’t have a rolling pin) because it fried better)

so i made a son (name of greg)

^ the first brother. he was just born and so innocent but little did he know he was going in the oil.

here he is freshly cooked. turned out ok, too thick and too fried. but I could do better.

second one turned out better, not thin enough and not fried enough.

third one was perfect. here are the three brothers ^

soon they multiplied and I had too many. i don’t know what to do with all of them they are invading my house. also they kept getting flatter and flatter until i ended up with like rlly thin bread (which was a vast improvement on the previous brothers) they turned out genuinely really good. i mixed some melted butter with tumeric (just because i like tumeric. tumeric #1 spice) paprika (also #1 spice they share the title) cayenne pepper and oregano. which is a rlly nice combo that pairs well with the bread forgot to mention i did NOT add garlic because i already added minced garlic to the bread itself (HIGH RISK, high reward, tastes awesome) after this i brought some to my elderly neighbor’s house (we exchange food alot) and she really liked it which made me quite happy. this has been a very fun adventure starting with the idea of giving myself a little treat and ending up having fun in the process, as well as getting to share what ive made with others! i havent gotten to cook in a while due to health issues so getting to get up and do this has made my week.

#cooking #idk wheres the cooking community on tumblr. tell them i said hi #cecil culinary adventures #tagging in case i make a pt 2 #edit: format bad fixed it

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anarchistbitch · 1 year ago

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IIIIIIIIIIIII bloody hate tumblr, Ive been trying to get all the songs we've reced each other into a playlist but it is not showing me all our asks and the ones it does show me are not in order and i wanted it to be in order ugggghhh im stabbing the screen right now mentally,

anyway at work my team is making a playlist so we can listen to everyone's music taste and here's the link to it, add some in my name please and thankyou<333 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4KeIWHO0lqkpDjXFPxWB7v?si=MToywKdbQM2JdiQWq1se6Q&pt=5d863cd3287ba2fae6b8184d7edce597

xhjdsflsdkf it's so always so funny and embarrassing remembering how this all started, all because i was too shy to take off the anon, but hey, here we are <3

and god yes, monaco is perfect for a roadtrip, it is also perfect for this one fic that i read back around 2019 or 2018, just yesterday i was talking about it with a friend bc it was HUGE fic in the fandom, to the point that there was discourse about the fic which is just fucking ridiculous but anyway, you see, idk if you heard about vld but that shit was huge here on tumblr and i was motherfucking obsessed and then the fandom grew very very large and it just kind of imploded but that's not important, the fic was a current time au where the characters were fake dating for a family reunion and the post breakup-bc-we-caught-feelings-but-we-think-the-other-didnt scene would be SO good with Monaco on the background, tasty 👌🏻

re:the job, yeap, ive been working since february bc i needed a break from uni and this way i justified it to myself and actually work has been so good for me for real, ive met a bunch of people that have become close friends, work has allowed me so much rest compared to mfucking architecture, it's also allowing me to pay for a psychologist which is great and yeah, overall a positive experience, the only problem is that now i dont wanna quit working but i know that i cant both work and continue with architecture, and it is making me question how much of my life i am willing to give to this career, bc i feel so much better now mentally, even my friends have told me how different i seem and how much better i seem to be doing right now that im not at uni and just *slowly slips down from the chair into the floor dramatically*

and you're right in both accounts lmao, it's hot as hell outside, especially since i just went home for the weekend and jesus christ the heat and humidity there are no fucking joke i tell you, on the plus side i came back by plane and that was so nice, right before take off i was SO nervous but after we did i really enjoyed it, it helps that it turned 8 hours in a cramped seat into half an hour in a slightly less cramped seat lol, some of the pics i took bc i couldnt help myself will follow this paragraph that just ran away from me literally but anyways, it's horribly hot outside but at work they always have the bloody aircon either too high or too low, no in between with those people

the edit also had me on sliding dramatically to the floor holy shit, the song fits Miles so well and im just 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 it's so easy to have that part get stuck in your head btw, i halfway think about it and i have it stuck in my head for at least the next hour

song rec of the ask: heaven iowa by fall out boy, i fucking love fall out boy, they're my band for real

-M, aka Denisse, aka blue iconed mutual who wanted you to know bc they had a major crush on you but didnt want you to know bc she is shy as fuck aka just a silly goofy person who covers her eyes and groans when she thinks too much about the anon asking bc they get embarrassed easily jsfhjds byyye love you, take care, sending you tons of hugsssss

back to old traditions-> me answering every ask 3 weeks late😔

oooooh lemme search them up and make a playlist later :)) i mostly have them in my liked akshually

what if i added oli london huh. what if i added peppa pig🤨oink wsbdfjkerkjh idk if i had good song recs rn but ill try to add smth later :3

. . . . .

do i . a person whos been on tumblr for almost 8 ish years know about Voltron:Legendary Defenders - the ships from which top the tumblr ecosystem almost every year- the fandom from which i have trauma(not actually but i did cry at shiro's implied death and subsequent clonign lmaooo😭😭😭)

dm me the link bby🤙🏽🤙🏽[i stated on the side of. ahem . omegaverse/werewolves plus soulmate aus]

im glad that youre happy with ur job!!! im entirely unqualified to give any career advice [seriously though -my chosen career is like. its good but its also like 7 years of studying and idek know if i should pursue it rnnn] so honestly🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

honestly im just real glad that ur doing good <3 being in college/uni is both good and bad but hey its not like you cant go back to it at anytime yk? you'd be doing incredible things anyway, it'll just have different terms

ahh the weather here is so shit it's always on the edge of raining and then its like nah😜

i actually like love airplane pics on insta , also the mountains!!!! my old flat used to be near a mountain and i miss it so much😭

i couldnt see atsv in theatres cause of so many things but i finally saw it and it was. like actually life changing . and also i have to fuck miguel o hara btw

OH MAN. i need to confess smth. me and my friends had , a file. like a plastic file with paper with lyrics to FOB songs that we used to write in our free periods and sing in the back of the class😭😭 i miss it so much [it being time. place, ppl. yk how it is]

so much for stardust ended up being one of my fav albums of their forever- after mania and save rock and roll

[but seriously the words 'scar-crossed lovers' brought back the 14yr old geek obsessed with fantasy books in me out again]

😳😳😳

omg well heres to my blue iconned mutual who i wouldve been dming a lot sooner had i been a lit bit more brave but am ultimately glad to have known even after a little longer

much love and many hugs 😚😚😚

#p.s. drink water and hope u meet little kitties who follow u around💜💜💜💜💜#ily #m for mwah! and mwah! and mwah!#m

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teddy-feathers · 1 year ago

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boss: can you help me with something?

thats how yesterday started.

My boss is new to being a manager. she was largly hired as one because she knew the routes and the people.

but no one has shown her how to do the paperwork aspect of it.

the two managers above her basically have been telling her to figure it out and not helping her at all. It doesn't help that english isnt her first language - shes proficient but when under stress its harder you know?

so the latest thing they sent her was a self evaluation. only, it's an actual evaluation they're just having her fill it out herself. We're under a new company this is the first time any of them have had to do it.

and if you dont know what they want to hear its really hard.

now to be fair they tell you right on the sheet what they want to hear - they just want specific examples of how you showed whatever the question is asking for.

well. we didn't do that. we were bullshiting our way through that like it was a paper due at midnight and we had three hours to complete it max.

they didn't tell her about it until it was due essentially. and she had no idea what it was asking and she was so frustrated she was going to quit.

now. we like what we came up with as a stopgap measure. we gave her twos and threes, and hopefully, at worst, they'll tell her she needs to add specific examples of how she did things, giving her more time and / or more instruction.

but basically i did that. her husband read over it and said i was so smart why was i working in cleaning

im not smart really but im good at bullshiting a paper out last minute and... i kinda miss doing that.

my shrink said i could see a career counselor and they could take what i like and what ive got going for me (nada in experience and education) and might be able to find me a new job.

id. really like that tbh.

but i gotta worry about a pay cut. i gotta worry about getting through the learning / probationary period. i gotta worry about a lot of stuff but

im medicated now. and my talk shrink diagnosed me with bipolar so im not getting the security clearance and i know it. like i know it was after they asked me if i had been but even if they give it to me now theyll yank it later im sure.

and this job is going to hell in a handbasket pretty damn fast. like at the main location, things are bad, and the managers there are trying to get rid of the manager here.

so mayne itd be nice to have an exit strategy. idk. fall up you know?

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baekhvuns · 2 years ago

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hey sunbae ik im probably sending this in a bad timing but i genuinely feel like the dumbest person in the world due to my grades in uni and i know this is not accurate ive been in constant psicological treatment since i was like 9 but i keep feeling i have no strenght or intelligence to do things what do you and baekhvuns villagers suggest i really dn what to do atp

-hoobae anon

no no it’s not!! sorry i went on a whole tangent on here bc this is quite similar to what i used to feel 😭 tho anyone! pls feel free to add on!!!

ooooooo okay this was me in my first year in uni, absolute rock bottom as in like academic probation and all </3 but id say from what i did- this actually sounds so stupid but id stumble upon those ‘inspo reels’ that would show like A+‘s and 100%’s which! made me want to replicate it and it actually works, like i shit u not i kept seeing them and id say to myself “damn ok fine lemme do that to”

find the inspiration to get thru your classes— again sounds like an absolute dumb thing to say but those reels with “idk why im doing this” to “my daughter is a ____” is one thing that riled me up. i was self talking and being “if this person can, why can’t i? what’s stopping me?” instead of being scared as fuck, id be looking forward to it (like looking up the syllabus or past course outlines from previous years + past assignments to get a knowledge of how things are meant to be done and what the specific teacher likes)

i think ur probably experiencing overwhelming of work in which case, literally for a day or two, do not think about your uni. just relax, put a movie on, be lazy, get good sleep and stop questioning yourself or blaming yourself AND then when u get back to studying— physically write things u have to do, it’ll make you want to do the things more !!

visualize yourself getting those grades and those honours, do literally anything for that grade, extra help, ask the teacher, email the TA’s, go to your academic advisors, bother + communicate the hell out of them (bc u paid shit ton so might as well get good out of it) + try to understand what ur studying style is, mine is hands on tho unfort i didn’t realize that until later— if u have readings given to u, print them out and highlight, write or draw over them !!!

also take a time limited approach in which you schedule your tasks, ask if “can i get this done in 2 hrs? or how much can i get done in 2hrs?” (set timers or do the methods of 2 hour study, 1hour break for walking around, eating and more) divide it into sections and get on with it, yes procrastination will be present, u will question everything but it’ll also motivate you to do better, it’ll make you feel as if your excited to study and not have it as a burden on u !!!

#✉️ : ask #hoobae anon

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omegalomania · 3 years ago

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I think tumblr ate my ask or it just didn't sent but what are your favorite Bastille songs / what are some songs you recommend?

i did NOT get this ask im very sorry anon.

it's genuinely hard for me to narrow down cause bastille is pretty up there in terms of favorite artists. i love all their shit, but a special mention goes out to their second studio album wild world since it's the one that made me a Fan

uh so here's a primer i guess i spent too much time on this lmao.

if you wanna listen to their big hits:

flaws - their first single in the uk. if you ever listened to ship playlists on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 then you've probably heard this song or a variant on it at some point.

pompeii - this is the song that really put them on the map and you definitely know it. it dominated the charts all over the place.

happier - the marshmello song that you've definitely heard before too. i think bastille wrote this for justin bieber or some shit but then decided they liked it too much to give it to him? lmao. anyway if you're not digging the version you hear on the radio all the time i recommend trying the stripped down version

good grief - their big hit off their second album. big in the uk, didn't really make as many waves elsewhere, but it's a really solid song anyway. one of those "upbeat tunes that's actually really fucking sad" ones

things we lost in the fire - another one off their first album. if you live in a wildfire area this might not be one to turn to. or maybe you'll find it cathartic idk i certainly do!!

quarter past midnight - a song about escapism, as was fitting when it was released in 2018 and equally fitting now. running away for a night of fucking around with friends, craving any kind of brief departure from the chaos of the modern world

skulls - this one was not a hit or a single and is technically a bonus track but i'm including it because once again if you ever clicked on a ship playlist on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 you've heard this one. and you know what that was justified this one is also good

if you wanna feel existentially depressed:

their whole discography. i mean i kid but i also don't. that's just kind of how bastille does it. BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS ones that hit me in particular would beeee

two evils - kind of a grim, haunting one introspecting about morality of the self.

oblivion - musing about the afterlife, love, and how time changes all of us.

those nights - contemplating what it is we seek when we plunge into reckless escapism, and the inherent loneliness of it; how even when surrounded by people there's still the pressure of the world outside, continuously coming to pieces

the draw - this one was written about the pull of pursuing a career in music vs. staying home with family and friends. in a broader sense, it can apply to a lot of things. i always felt it resonated with feelings of paranoia and displacement

winter of our youth - discusses childhood, nostalgia, and regret. if it feels like everything's slipping away, is it easier to relive the past, especially if the past is tinted rose?

sleepsong - loneliness, desperation, and the cyclical, abyss-like nature of all it encapsulates

if you want discussion of serious topics:

final hour - a bonus track off their second album that also became a bonus track off their third album? anyway this song talks about climate change and gun control. happy stuff

doom days - this one talks about, uh, everything! doomscrolling, political divides, escalating national tensions, climate change again, etc.

the currents - a song centered on political rhetoric and the power that figureheads have over the masses, the way they can orchestrate hate. basically it's not so subtly aimed at donald trump lmao, dan's literally sung it as much in a few live settings

WHAT YOU GONNA DO??? - social media addiction and the way capitalism and corporate interests have annexed our online experiences, fighting desperately for our attention as they seek to monetize every available aspect of our lives

four walls (the ballad of perry smith) - well this one is about uh. perry smith. who was charged with the death penalty for killing 4 people in the late 50's. but it's less directly about him and more a discussion of the morality of the death penalty and capital punishment

snakes - burgeoning anxieties and the impulse to turn to easy outs, like ignorance or alcoholism, to escape the world's global problems

if you want some pop culture sprinkled on top:

icarus - greek mythology. i like this one because it addresses something that i feel isn't addressed enough in discussions of this myth, which is that icarus is a very young lad. less about the pride of the fall, and more about the inherent tragedy of that.

laura palmer - the whole song is a david lynch shoutout. i've never seen twin peaks myself but the song still slaps.

daniel in the den - christian mythology. discusses the biblical tale of daniel in the lion's den and links that up to themes of betrayal and family.

poet - this one's a double feature, referencing both william shakespeare's sonnet 18 and edmund spencer's sonnet 75. also one of my favorites.

send them off! - this is another one of my favorites of theirs. it's also been described by dan as "othello meets the exorcist" and it very much delivers there

if you want something uplifting:

joy - while bastille (understandably) has a bit of reputation as a band that makes sad music about sad things, they've definitely got some happier songs in their catalogue. pun intended cha ching. this one's one of their more straightforwardly happy tunes

survivin' - this was a song they wrote while they were touring and then felt weird about releasing once the panini hit because it felt a bit on the nose. they ended up releasing it anyway and i am so glad they did cause it's a mood

act of kindness - the "happy" part here is debatable but i'm gonna include it anyway. it’s when someone does something nice for you and that impulse Changes you way down deep you know???

warmth - one of those "the world's going to shit but at least we have each other" kinds of tunes

the anchor - one of those "the world's going to shit but you're the one fucking thing that's still keeping me here" kinds of tunes

give me the future - their latest single as of this writing and one of the more optimistic tracks in their catalogue imo! it's yearning, but it's also with a genuine hope for the future.

and LASTLY. because im going to take every chance i can to plug this band. im going to throw some collabs and covers at you because there's one thing this band does SUPER well and it's collabs and covers.

of the night - this is the big one. it mashes up rhythm of the night by corona and rhythm is a dancer by SNAP! and it's so good they still do this one live and it goes off every time.

no angels - a mashup of "no scrubs" by TLC and "angels" by the xx, poured into a strangely mournful tune with clips from the hitchcock movie psycho. doesn't sound like it should work but it does. kinda really does.

torn apart - with GRADES and lizzo no less!!! it's got two parts but they're both excellent listen to them both

weapon - collab with angel haze, dan priddy, and F*U*G*Z and one of my absolute favorites

remains - remix of their song "skulls" but featuring rag'n'bone man and skunk anansie that adds an entire new dimension to the song, really fucking excellent

old town road mashup - lil nas x's old town road meets lizzo's good as hell meets radiohead's talk show host meets talking heads' road to nowhere meets the osmond's crazy horse. "what the fuck that shouldn't work" i KNOW and yet here it is!! BLATANTLY BANGING!!!

we can't stop - one of the few times dan smith subtly changes the lyrics of the song he's covering (most of the time he opts to keep the original pronouns and the like, which is very nice to see). anyway this one mixes miley cyrus's we can't stop with eminem's lose yourself and billy ray cyrus's achy breaky heart. and also the lion king's i just can't wait to be king is there. yes i know it sounds batshit especially because the whole thing is surprisingly melodic and heartfelt and you know what it works.

anyone but me x nightmares - mashing up joy crookes' anyone but me with easy life's nightmares and absolutely one of my favorites.

bad guy mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "bad" in the title? we've got bad guy (billie eilish), bad decisions (bastille), bad romance (lady gaga), and bad blood (taylor swift). bastille even has a song called bad blood and they didnt use it. they used taylor swift's version. also the distinctive guitar riff from dick dale's misirlou is there.

somebody mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "some" in the title? someone like you (adele), somebody told me (the killers), somebody to love (queen), use somebody (kings of leon), and someone you loved (lewis capaldi). seriously these guys take mashups to a new level.

final song - this is a cover of MØ's final song. it also adds in craig david's 7 days and, impossibly enough, europe's final countdown. how does it work. how.

ALL RIGHT. THATS ALL IVE GOT IN ME. HOPE THIS HELPED ANON AND IM SORRY IF THIS IS TOO MUCH

#askin hours #anon #bastille #ill put this in the bastille tag why not #this is predominantly a fall out boy blog but if any bastille bloggers are out there....all like 20 of you....#i see the work u do in this fandom and i love u for it

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tobesolonely · 4 years ago

Text

muse

A/n: hello everyone!! im very excited to put this out :-) i was going to make a long one shot but ive never written anything multi-part before and i wanted to give it a go!! also my first time with an oc 🌟so i hope everyone enjoys!! not sure when the next part will come out but i wanna upload at least once a week or every two weeks or something idk haha but anywayssss lmk ur thoughts!

biggest, biggest thank u to my love @harryysstyless for beta reading and being so encouraging<333 luv u!!

photographer oc x harry styles

please let me know your thoughts on miss aminah, iman, serena, and harry!

my ko-fi! thank you :)

Los Angeles was your newest muse.

You had always been the spontaneous type. It came as no shock to your family and friends when you told them you had purchased a one-way ticket and were moving across the country. Although your parents weren’t too keen on the idea of their daughter moving so far away from them, they helped you withdraw your savings and find a modest apartment in LA before sending you on your way.

Your reason for moving to LA was simple, really. You were a freelance photographer that felt your career was growing rather… stagnant. You had a thick portfolio and were proud of the work you produced, but your clientele wasn’t as impressive as you’d hope it would be after nearly six years of working at it.

And so began your desire to move from New York to Los Angeles— one big city to the next.

People who knew you often described you as ambitious, fiery, and an absolute go-getter. If your big move scared you in any way, no one knew any better. Your confidence never faltered— not even in the slightest.

After nearly three months of being in LA, you developed a routine of sorts. You’d wake up, eat a breakfast that almost always consisted of avocado toast and coffee, and go on a run. After your run, you would come home, shower, and decide how far you wanted to venture to take pictures that day.

Sometimes your roommates, Serena and Iman, would join you to keep you company. Although you’d never met either one of them before answering their ad for a roommate on Craigslist, you had grown extremely close to the girls in the few months that you’d known them. Despite the two girls being friends since their childhood, they never made you feel left out, and you fit in with them effortlessly.

During your short time in the city, there were so many places you had been, but still, even more you had yet to see. Serena and Iman, both native Angelenos, would often suggest spots for you to check out and even offer to drive you around— you were from New York after all, and at twenty-four years old, you were still not the owner of a driver's license.

“You’ve never been to North Hollywood yet, right Aminah?” Iman questioned as you all lounged around, trying to come up with a place you had not yet been.

“No, I haven’t really gone anywhere farther than walking distance,” you reply, looking around the cramped living room for your camera bag. “Or the places you guys have driven me. That was still considered Downtown though, right? Where we went the other day?” You were still getting used to how absolutely massive Los Angeles was.

“We should go to Santa Monica or something— wait, Malibu!” Serena exclaims. “We have to go to Malibu, Mina. It’s so nice there, you could totally get a bunch of good shots.”

“Yeah, we might even see a celebrity!” Iman chimes in, stifling laughter.

It was an on-going joke between the three of you. When you first moved to LA, you told your roommates that you couldn’t wait to make your way around the city because you were hoping to run into a celebrity. It was Los Angeles after all— you figured they were everywhere.

You quickly learned that wasn’t the case. Celebrities here kept a low-profile and even if you did encounter a celebrity, it’s not like you would approach them. “You’re not funny, Iman,” you tell your roommate with a roll of your eyes.

“Yes I am,” Iman quips, wiggling her eyebrows. “If we’re gonna go to Malibu then I gotta change. Can I borrow a cute shirt from anyone?”

A short twenty minutes later, the three of you were piled in Serena’s car on your way to Malibu. You’d heard of the city before and knew it was a wealthy area, but that’s about it. Your roommates promised you that out of all the beaches in LA, Malibu had the nicest ones, and lots of places to take pictures. Since none of you had anything to do, you all decided it was as good a day as any to have a beach day and get some shots of your roommates to add to your portfolio. Since you didn’t know anyone except Serena and Iman, the pictures on your camera from the last few months consisted entirely of nature and inanimate objects. While it was good practice, you really preferred to photograph actual people.

“Traffic is so bad today,” you say from the backseat after traveling approximately two feet in five minutes. Iman snorts from the passenger side.

“When isn’t traffic bad, Mina,” she turns to look at you, an amused look on her face. “Don’t worry about it. It always gets backed up at this fuckin’ exit and then as soon as we get past it there’s like, zero traffic.”

“Right! I always complain about how shitty this exit is. I have no clue who designed it,” Serena adds, skipping through songs on her playlist. “It’s still early in the day, though. I’m just hoping the beach won’t be too crowded by the time we get there.”

“I don’t care how crowded the beach is. I just don’t want it to take us forty minutes to find parking…”

You tune out your roommate's voices, instead choosing to focus on the traffic jam outside the car. To Serena and Iman, people who were born and raised in Los Angeles, the city wasn’t necessarily anything special. Sure, they loved how there was always something to do, but the bad drivers, traffic, and smog got old. The novelty of LA hadn’t yet worn off to you, though. You didn’t know how your roommates were content to sit inside the apartment all day when there were tons of things to do basically right outside your doorstep. You felt like you were the one convincing them to go out with you half of the time, and you didn’t even know where you were going.

After what feels like almost entirely too long but was really only half an hour, Serena pulls into a fairly empty parking lot. “Are we not allowed to be here?”

“Why do you think that?” Iman asks, squinting her eyes to read a sign. “It doesn’t say it’s closed. I mean, there are a few cars–– look.” She points to a few cars scattered around the parking lot.

“I mean, it is nine in the morning on a Wednesday. People are probably at work,” you tell the two girls in the front seat. “Besides, there’s someone in the parking booth. Can you even close a beach?”

Serena drives forward, rolling down her window. “I mean, I guess not. You can close the parking lot, though.” You hum in agreement. She quickly pays for parking and tosses her receipt on the dashboard before driving slowly through the parking lot.

“I love when no one’s at the beach,” Iman sighs, clapping her hands. “No one will get in the way of your picture-taking either, Meens.”

You smile at the nickname. “Yeah, that’s true. We picked a perfect time to come too, guys. The lighting’s great.”

“Really? Is it gonna make my skin pop?” Iman turns around and sticks her arm out, sensually running her fingers along it.

“You always look good no matter what the lighting’s like, Iman,” you reply, refraining from rolling your eyes at her. “You have the glowiest complexion out of all of us.”

“We’re literally all the same skin-tone, Aminah,” she retorts, crossing her arms.

“We have different undertones, though,” you answer. “So not really. Plus, Serena is way lighter than us! What are you talking about?”

“Should I park here?” Serena asks, interrupting your conversation.

“Why here? All these empty spots and you wanna park directly next to this car?”

“This is a good spot, Iman. It’s a parking lot. If they didn’t want anyone to park next to them, they should’ve taken an Uber and got dropped off.” She turns into the spot, quickly putting the car in park and crossing her arms to prove her point.

You unbuckle your seatbelt, smiling at your friends’ bickering. They were so close they were basically sisters. They argued sometimes and were quick to call the other out on their shit, and you loved it.

“I just think you’re weird for parking next to this car. It’s a nice car.”

“Who cares, girl?” Serena groans, exasperated. “We’re gonna be on the beach. They’ll probably be gone before we will.” She pops the trunk before unplugging her phone from the aux cord and stepping outside. Iman mimics her before flinging the door open as well and stepping out of the car.

You make sure your camera bag is closed all the way before situating it over your shoulder and climbing out of the car as well.

“It’s kinda cold,” Iman says, wrapping her arms around her body. “If I knew it would be so overcast I would’ve bought a jacket.” Serena hums in agreement and you look up at the sky, unphased.

“It’s like, seventy degrees?” you look at the weather app on your phone in confirmation.

“We get it, Meens. You’re from New York,” Serena teases, closing her trunk. She hands you a few towels and a blanket to carry while she rolls the cooler and Iman carries the beach chairs and umbrella.

“It’s a cold seventy degrees and you know it,” Iman defends. “Look at my goosebumps. I can’t fake this shit.” You shake your head at your overly dramatic friends and follow them down to the beach. You take off your sandals as soon as you’re off the pavement, wiggling your toes in the cold sand.

“We can set up pretty much wherever we want,” Serena points out, tucking flyaway curls behind her ears. “Where do you think the best place to be is, Mina? Y’know, so you can get good pictures?”

“It doesn’t really matter, to be honest,” you tell them distractedly, too busy looking around the beach in awe. Your friends were right–– out of all the beaches you’d visited in Los Angeles so far, this one was the nicest (and cleanest). “Maybe we can get a little closer to the water?”

The three of you walk for a couple of minutes before Iman abruptly stops, dramatically dropping everything she was carrying. “Let’s just set up here. There’s no one around anyway, it doesn’t matter.”

“There actually is someone around,” you tell them, looking at a stranger who seemed to be fixated on staring at you and your friends. “Don’t look, but a cute guy is staring at us.” Serena and Iman immediately turn around, shading their eyes from the bit of sun that was starting to peek through the clouds. The guy couldn’t have been more than twenty yards away from where you were setting up.

...“Huh,” Serena says, turning back around. “Is it just me, or does that guy look a lot like Harry Styles?” She looks back over her shoulder again, but he’s no longer staring at the three of you, focusing on what appeared to be a book instead.

“Why would Harry Styles be at the beach by himself at nine in the morning?” Iman asks, unfolding a beach chair and flopping down on it.

“Why wouldn’t he? It’s Malibu, dude,” Serena responds. You could tell your friends were about to start bickering again, so you quickly jump in.

“Doesn’t matter. Neither one of you would go up to him even if it was, so what’s the point in arguing about it?” They both raise their eyebrows at you.

“And you would, Mina? Bullshit!” Iman exclaims, laughing. “I dare you to go see if it’s him, and if it is, ask him if he wants to join us.”

“That’s weird! What if it’s not him?”

“Even if it’s not him, we’ll still get to hang out with a cute boy.” Iman points out. Serena nods in agreement and you can’t deny that she makes a convincing argument. “Just ask him if he wants a mimosa or something!”

“No, don’t ask that,” Serena interjects. “Tell him that you’re a photographer and you’re working on building a new portfolio. Ask him if he would be cool with you photographing him.”

You narrow your eyes at her. “Are you sure that’s not weird, Serena?”

“Aminah, trust me. I wouldn’t deliberately let you make yourself look weird.” Your roommate reassures you.

And so you found yourself clearing the short distance to where the handsome stranger was laid, half hoping it was Harry Styles, half hoping it was not. You couldn’t act like you weren’t a fan of him–– you thought he was incredibly attractive and enjoyed his music just like most people. If Harry Styles was the first celebrity you encountered during your short time in Los Angeles, you‘d never stop talking about it. Ever.

When you’re almost to him he looks up, dog-earring the page he’s on. After making eye contact with him, there’s no mistaking that this is Harry Styles. You pinch the back of your hand, urging yourself not to freak out. He has a knowing look on his face and you’re grateful for your darker complexion that hides your blush.

“Hi,” you speak first, stopping a few feet away from him. “Uh, my friends and I are just uh, we’re... you know.” You internally wince at your inability to form a coherent sentence. His gaze never breaks from yours and you look away first, growing shyer by the second. If you thought he was beautiful on Instagram, he was even more gorgeous in person. It was incredible.

“Hi,” he finally says after a brief moment of silence. “‘M sorry if I was starin’ at you ladies a moment ago. I jus’ usually never see anyone else this early out here. Are you a photographer?”

You almost ask him how he knows when you realize your camera is still hanging around your neck. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, I am.” He’s still staring intently at you.

“Would you like to sit?”

You look over your shoulder at Serena and Iman who were pretending to be preoccupied putting on sunscreen, but you know they were waiting for you to come back with the man you now knew to be Harry Styles.

“Oh, my friends are waiting for me,” Harry looks up at you patiently, waiting for you to continue speaking. “I was actually going to photograph them. I’m working on building up my portfolio. I understand if you can’t for… I dunno, legal reasons? Or if you just don’t want to–– and that’s fine if you don’t, but would it be okay if I photographed you as well?”

“That actually sounds like a lot of fun. It’s kinda boring jus’ readin’ out here on my own,” he agrees quickly, surprising you. Harry stands up and stretches a bit before leaning down to gather up his blanket, towel, water bottle, and book. “What’s your name? I’m Harry.”

You know that Harry knows that you know exactly who he is, but the fact that he introduced himself to you makes him even more endearing. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Aminah.”

Harry extends his free hand to you. “It’s very nice to meet you, Aminah.” You love the way your name sounds coming out of his mouth.

As you approach Serena and Iman, their eyes go wide when they realize it really was him. Serena nudges Iman and you know without even having heard it that she’s saying, “I told you so!” Harry stops a bit behind you, smiling at them.

“Hello,” he starts. “S’okay if I join you ladies? Aminah here extended such a nice offer that I jus’ couldn’t pass it up, but wanna check with the two of you first.”

Serena’s mouth is shamelessly hanging open, and you realize that she may have been a bigger fan than she let on. Iman answers for them. “Of course! Mina’s building her portfolio and I bet it would look like, super cool, if you were a part of it!” Harry nods, setting the few things he had with him down.

“I don’t think I would even be the center of attention if ‘m sittin’ beside you beautiful ladies. I’ll jus’ act as a prop or something,” he flashes them a dimpled smile. “If you don’t mind me asking, what are your names? I’m Harry.”

“We know,” Iman answers a little too quickly. “I’m Iman and this is Serena.” Serena gives him a timid wave.

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you all. Are you guys from around here?” He lays his blanket beside all of your stuff and sits down cross-legged, not once breaking eye contact with any of you. You had no idea how he did it.

“We live Downtown. We’re only over here so Mina could get some good pictures, she’s a photographer,” Iman answers proudly. “She’s amazing, but she’ll never admit it.”

“Iman…,” you trail off. “Stop, dude.”

“It’s true,” Serena jumps into the conversation, now seemingly over the initial shock of who was sitting barely two feet away from her. “She’s the best photographer I know.” Harry turns to look at you, an amused look on his face.

“That’s a hefty claim. I can’t wait to see your photography skills, Aminah.”

“They’re just hyping me up,” you reply, making a mental note to yell at your friends for embarrassing you once the three of you were alone again. “I’m not that good.”

“That looks pretty professional to me,” Harry says, gesturing to the camera that has not yet left your neck since arriving at the beach. “I bet you’re just as good as they say you are.” You look away, hiding your face. Iman, being the wing woman she is, can tell you’re growing flustered from all the attention and moves the conversation away from you.

“Do any of y’all want a mimosa?” Before anyone can even answer her, she’s popping open the champagne and handing the orange juice to Serena to open. Harry politely declines, as he drove himself to the beach that morning. You and Iman are ultimately the only ones who indulge in a drink since you were the only ones not driving.

Talking to Harry was like catching up with an old friend. He wanted to know everything about the three of you and whenever he felt the conversation was becoming too much about him, he quickly changed the subject. Harry learned that Iman and Serena have been friends since the second grade when Iman pushed some boy off of the monkey bars for teasing Serena. He learned your favorite take-out spots, your favorite bars, and what freeways Iman and Serena tried to avoid at all cost (it was the 405, which he agreed with). What seemed to intrigue Harry the most, though, was him learning that you just moved from New York and had never even been to Los Angeles before moving.

“Why did you pick somewhere all the way across the country that you’d never even vacationed at before?” He had a look of confusion written across his face. You shrug, not really knowing the answer.

“I mean, I’ve seen it on TV shows and in movies. That doesn’t count?” you joke. Harry still looks utterly bewildered.

“I mean… no?”

Serena laughs. “We were just as confused as you were, Harry. We were scared for a moment when she moved in because we were like, oh shit, what if she’s insane? You know? Like, what sane person would move all the way across the country to live somewhere they’d never even vacationed before?”

You let out an offended, “heyyyy”, lightly smacking Serena’s thigh. “I just needed a change and I’m a drastic person! I either go all-in when I do something, or I just don’t do it at all.” You defend yourself.

“I actually think that’s really fuckin’ cool,” Harry says after a moment. “Sometimes I wish I could just… up an’ go. Y’know?” you all nod, and it falls silent again. “Well, should we take some pictures now?”

Any intimidation you felt to photograph Harry disappeared as soon as he started posing for you.

Being that he was a major celebrity, he was no stranger to posing for a photoshoot. Harry was ethereal–– you knew the pictures of him would most likely require minimal to no editing. Serena and Iman also looked incredible, and you were thankful to have such gorgeous people as your muses. You were taking pictures of them in various places around the beach, only stopping once it started getting too crowded. There were starting to be too many people in the background of your shots and Harry wanted to get going, not particularly in the mood to be recognized. The three of you decide you should get going too. You had more than enough pictures to go through and besides, you were all starting to grow hungry.

Harry follows the three of you to the parking lot, keeping his head down the entire way. The closer you got to Serena’s car, the sadder you got. You didn’t want to stop talking to Harry and photographing him. However, you knew you were just in the right place at the right time, and it was likely that you’d never cross paths with him any time soon–– if ever again.

“Thank you for letting me photograph you,” you tell him sincerely once you were almost to Serena’s car. “That was really kind of you. I can promise you I won’t post them anywhere without your permission or like, disclose the location or anything like that.”

Harry finally looks up, determining you were far enough away from the crowds and he was no longer at risk of getting recognized. “It was my pleasure, really. Thank you for inviting me to hang out with you and your friends. It was a lot of fun getting to know you all.” You feel your body heat up.

“Where did you park?”

“Right there,” Harry points straight ahead. “You?”

You let out a loud laugh, causing Serena and Iman, who was walking slightly ahead of you and Harry, to turn around and look at the two of you. “We parked right next to you! Iman was getting on Serena for parking next to you because the lot was pretty much empty when we got here this morning.”

Harry lets out a breathy chuckle. “I guess it’s fate that we crossed paths then, yeah?” You let out a quiet hum in agreement, stopping a few feet in front of Serena’s car. You hear her and Iman debating on where you should stop for lunch, but you were waiting to see what Harry would say next.

“Aminah? After you get a chance to look at those pictures, do you think you can send them to my manager? His name’s Jeff. I’d love to see how they come out.”

“Oh yeah, of course! Do you have his business card or something?” You were excited that Harry actually cared to see your work but based on the couple of hours you spent interacting with him, you learned he was just an overall insanely kind person.

“I can jus’ put his contact info in your phone? If you don’t mind,” his gaze falters, a sheepish look on his face.

“Totally! Let me just unlock my phone,” you dig in the pocket of your shorts, pulling your phone out and unlocking it with your face. You hand it over to him and while he’s looking down typing you glance over at your roommates who had shocked looks on their faces. You would explain to them later that he wasn’t giving you his number, just his managers, but for now, you’d let them think he was giving his number to you out of all people–– a total stranger.

Harry hands it back to you a few moments later, running his fingers through his hair. “Thank you again for such a great morning, Aminah. I’ll let you get goin’, don’t wanna hold you ladies up any longer,” he waves at Serena and Iman. “It was really nice to meet all of you. Hope to see you all again soon.” You notice that his gaze lingers on you for a moment when he says that, and you feel your body heat up for what must have been at least the tenth time that day.

The three of you watch as Harry unlocks his car and throws his items haphazardly into the passenger side before climbing in, slamming the door shut. His car starts immediately afterwards and he gives you a quick nod before quickly backing out of the spot, leaving. None of you say anything for a bit, just processing what just happened. Serena is the first one to speak, her hand on the handle of her car door.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Harry fucking Styles?” her voice raises at least two octaves and you know she’s about to have a mini freakout. “Did he ask for your number, Meens?”

“No dude, he just gave me his manager's number. He wants to see how the pictures come out after I edit them,” you tell her, opening the backseat of her car. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Uh, that’s definitely a big deal, Aminah. Stop being so humble,” Iman tells you, exaggerated annoyance lacing her voice. “Did you see how he looked at you? When he said, ‘Hope to see you all again soon’?” She puts on a terrible posh accent.

“You’re so annoying,” you groan, shaking out the blanket and beach towels before throwing them onto the seat. “Where are we gonna eat?”

Iman and Serena pile into the car as well, telling you about the three restaurants they were stuck choosing between. You hum distractedly, typing the name ‘Jeff’ into your contacts to see if Harry left a number and an email, or just an email. Your brows furrowed in confusion when you see the name is nowhere to be found in your contact list. You chalk up the mistake to Harry just forgetting to press ‘save’ after creating the contact and figure you can just find his manager’s contact information on the internet somewhere. As you’re scrolling back up through your contact list, your eye lands on a name that makes your breath hitch in your throat.

Harry Styles.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #harry styles x oc #harry styles one shot #uhhh idk what else to tag this #enjoy!!

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anotherhellchild · 4 years ago

Note

Okay so Idk if u are busy cause as we all know the world is hell right now and school is a fucking nightmare but. I have a prompt for A BakuJirou Friendship Fic. It's pretty much a fleshed out Idea that I can't put into words cause I can't write for shit anyway here it is

Baku and Jirou chilling on Jirou's room (Brotp 4 life)- she metions that she has a written song- Kids Again by Artist and Poet

She thinks it's missing something from the verses- it only has the girl's parts cause jirous a girl obvs

She thinks it needs more backing instruments

Asks Bakugou fpr help with drums cause we know he can play drums

Once he hears the song he says it needs piano (he can totally play piano, it would probs be good for the nerves in his fingers after all of the explosions) and another vocal/more verses

They write and brainstorm for a few hours or days

Thet don't know who to ask to sing the male parts

Jirou asks Baku to do them- he refuses a lot but gives- either through bribery or because he respects Jirou

Jirou shocked and personally betrayed that she didn't know Baku could sing this well (jokingly betrayed, not like this is gonna lead to an arguement)

The class finds them out- maybe Denki or Kiri could hear them.

They are all in shock that Baku can sing.

Could lead into a relationship fic- one of the class is in panic at how well Baku can sing (preferebly Kiri or Todo cause Kiribaku and Todobaku are my otps)

oooohhhh yesss!! u had me at BakuJirou!! (also quick disclaimer here: i know absolutely nothing about music or the process of making it or singing or anything even remotely close :D i sure as fuck am pretending that i do tho!)

(and yeah,, ive been gone for a bit now... sorry to everyone for that. just been really tired and drained lately,, schools kinda been kicking my ass and yeahh i wont start about it,, just sorry. thanks for the ask tho! i appreciate people still coming here to talk even tho i haven’t rly been around )

ANYWAY

I love this idea! first off, i love the hc that baku can sing and that plus the bakujirou friendship is already great!

i kinda imagine that the both of them are just chilling in jirou’s room and she casually mentions she’s been working on a song. so then baku obviously wants to hear it, jirou is kinda shy but eventually shows him what she’s got so far.

now, baku being baku and all, keeps a poker face throughout the whole thing. (which makes jirou really anxious on the inside cause she cant tell what he’s thinking) But once he’s heard what she’s got so far he says its actually pretty decent (which is bakugou-speak for he likes it)

they start discussing what could be added/ what could make it better or whatever

baku adds drums and together they figure out the piano

after a day or two jirou suggests adding another voice and baku thinks thatll be good

the problem: who’s gonna do it?

after debating it for a bit- (mostly just them wondering if any of the boy’s in class even have the ability to sing and THEN wondering if jirou even has the nerve to ask them to help out)

-jirou eventually says something along the lines of: “well,we dont even know if it’d sound good in the first place so maybe you could just sing to test it out, then we’ll see after that.”

bakugou does not agree

jirou offers him a free meal in exchange

bakugou finds that such an offer would be too wasteful to reject so he reluctantly agrees

now, jirou isnt expecting much at all. her goal here is not to find the voice for her song, its just to see if a male voice fits nicely. she’s kinda expecting some off key pitches and false notes, she figures she can just fix it up a bit with auto tune later. this is just a test after all.

but then. ohhohoo THEN.

bakugou sings, he fucking s i n g s

jirou is lucky she’s already sitting on the floor because she’d have been floored

she really was not expecting this, so much so that she’s literally frozen to the ground.

bakugou, who cannot handle compliments, kinda stares at her suspiciously when she tells him he’s amazing.

after the initial shock, a lot of grumbling, a lot of convincing (on jirou’s part), more grumbling and eventually another bribe; bakugou agrees to sing the other part of the song.

they work on it the rest of the day

that evening, jirou’s kinda humming the song out loud in the common area. people notice.

naturally, chaos ensues

at least half of the class is around (baku included) they convince jirou to let them listen to the song (baku excluded, not that he minds tho. its her song)

theyre all very impressed and excited etc etc

someone wonders who the other voice was? it’s amazing just like jirou’s own!

jirou tells them its bakugou

theyre all floored

literally frozen to the ground

seriously, there is ice at their feet.

Is.. todoroki.... blushing?!

#sorry this was pretty rushed #so its not that great #but im tired #love the idea tho!!#bnha prompts #bakugou katsuki #it should be mentioned that his oblivious ass would not realize there is something going on there #lmaoo #tdbk #jirou kyouka #bnha #mha #shoto todoroki #class 1a #jirou can sing #bakugou can sing #bnha headcanons

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the-bjd-community-confess · 3 years ago

Text

More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #BJD Dealers

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green-blue-heller · 4 years ago

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hey, can you explain the cockles breakup? i saw u just posted about it and s7 and ive seen speculations but i dont think i really understand what happened lol

Hi Anon!

Thanks for your question!!

First off - DISCLAIMER: I do not know Jensen or Misha, or anyone they know. I do not have any direct information or confirmation of any information in this post. This information may or may not be correct (if anyone has any further clarification, feel free to add it - just please know that this same disclaimer will extend to such comments). None of this should ever be discussed with Jensen or Misha. Their lives are theirs, and while the fandom may discuss and speculate, it’s not okay to do so with the actual people.

Ok... now that we have that out of the way!

I will find the post that gave me the most of the information that I have about it, and reblog with it.

But it’s after 1 am, so I’ll give you the quickish answer now lol.

So, in 2011 Misha was essentially fired from SPN as Sera Gamble was killing off Cas (he’s in S7 ep 1-2, and then doesn’t come back until ep 17, I think it is). He wasn’t supposed to come back, at all. He was supposed to be dead dead.

Summer 2009 is where the earliest flirting is seen with JenMish. I think it was AHBL 1. It is on YT. They’re doing a signing, and Jensen and Misha are going back and forth saying about how they couldn’t see each other and they were worried. Jared pipes up and says that he’ll keep an eye on them and let them know the other is still there.

Vicki and Dee are behind Jared and there is definitely giggling going on.

Then Dec 14 2019 is when Jensen posted what’s referred to as the 10 year anniversary pic and it’s assumed that the original was taken around the same date (if anyone has any links to the pic being talked about, can you please share?)

So, if you assume Dec 2009 is when cockles officially became cockles, then it wasn’t very long after when word would have trickled down that Cas was being killed off. I’d say maybe late 2010 to early 2011.

As far as I can tell, no one knows who ended it. Speculation is probably Jensen, saying it would be too difficult now that Misha wasn’t part of the cast, even though he only lives like an hour and a half from Vancouver.

It also has to be taken into consideration that Jensen and Dee got engaged in 2009 and married in 2010. Then 2011, Misha is written off the show.

It’s fair to assume Jensen wouldn’t have wanted to rock the boat at home for something that he wasn’t sure could be sustained.

So, during the 2011 con panels (I think starting around the time of the Asylum convention) Misha is totally different and a little sarcastic/meanish. The matching rings and bracelets also disappear during this time (but different matching/coordinating jewelry shows up later though).

At Rising Con 2011, Mish and Seb have a panel, and Seb says his favorite sound is when he’s laying next to someone he loves and listening to her sleep.

Misha buts in and says “or him” and looks really sad. He’s off the entire panel.

This continues for a while with panels.

I don’t know what con it is, but at one of them, Jensen does talk about how he is glad that Misha is back on the show. I don’t know if they’ve made up yet at this point, since I don’t know when it is from.

I haven’t watched all the 2012 panels (hardly any) but by JIB, they seemed to have maybe made up.

Jensen jokes about their panel being sort of like a blind date. And apologizes that it might be a bit awkward, sort of like working together. Then Misha says that he rather enjoyed working together.

Jensen assures him then that it was great, and that he had a great time. Then tells Misha it was not him (Misha), that it was him (Jensen).

Then Misha says he thought it was really special. And Jensen makes a comment about how maybe they can give it another shot and Misha kinda shakes his head.

This is either Jensen still in the groveling phase, or the trying to be cute and apologize and say he’s happy they worked things out.

Jensen is a little extra flirty.

But it’s obvious after this that things are fine. Since by JIB10, they ran outta fucks to give and Misha literally straddles Jensen on stage and Jen gets a boner and has to adjust himself. Lol.

Though it’s obvious they’re sad about the show ending. I’m sure the breakup (if there had actually been one) over them not being on the same show anymore from 10 years ago is coming back to them. And I’m sure it’s especially not easy with covid.

But they still seem to be bringing up each other when talking, when it’s not really necessary. And Jensen still gets his stupid (in the most loving meaning) smile when he talks about Misha.

And they were obviously texting each other during the panel on Tuesday.

So, hopefully, cockles is still going strong. It’s been 11 years now, not like 1. So hopefully they have learned how to deal with things.

If only The Boys was shot in Vancouver and not in Ontario. Then he wouldn’t be far from Misha, to be able to see him once there aren’t mandatory 2 week quarantines when arriving in Canada.

But I know during JIB10, Misha made several remarks about moving to Austin.

This would be amazing, though idk of him and Vicki would actually want to uproot the kids. So it may be a more wishful thinking. Even if not, I’m sure covid is making that impossible at the moment.

So... I hope I answered your question, nonnie. Lol.

Like I said, I’ll reblog it tomorrow with links to the post I found on it, as well any other links to the panels in question (if I can find them again).

Though all the ones I talked about are on YT.

Let me know if you have further questions, either in the comments or via another ask! 💕

Edit: the post now has additional pieces, with links to other posts and references. So I suggest checking the comments to get the latest version!

#anon ask #cockles #cockles breakup theory #jenmish #jensen ackles #misha collins #team dumpster mansion

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samanthadalton · 4 years ago

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Hey! Do you think you could write an avaxmc fic that’s today’s chapter (81) of mtfl but from mack’s pov? Like a rewrite, with more gayness and no boys? Maybe have mack see them at some point, or find them sleeping together the morning after? Idk it’s just an idea and ofc it’s ok if u don’t wanna do it, just thought i’d ask

i loved this idea anon, idk if its super gay but I tried writing it from what i think Mack would be like, i hope you enjoy tho ❤️❤️

(also ive been so busy this week, i hope to do some writing for star crossed lovers next week as well as some more requests💖)

taglist: @cloud9in @midnitesteph @kamilahsayeet2063 @dopeyouth @avalawrencefl @alleycat97 (i added people from my other ava fic and people who might like the fic)

The tales of the sister

Now playing as Mack

I know something has been going on between Emma and Ava since we’ve come back from Jenning’s lodge but I don’t know exactly what. I scrutinise Emma as she fluffs the pillows for the 100th time tonight before taking out her phone to check her makeup...again.

“Chill Emma, it’s only Ava” I add a tiny dose of teasing to my voice, while Emma’s cheeks begin dusting with a tiny bit of red on them before she pointedly looks away.

“Everything just has to be perfect,” her eyes scan the living before she moves the tv remote an inch to the left before placing her hands on her hips, satisfied.

“Why?” I raise an eyebrow at her, trying to get any crumb of information since Emma and Ava used to always leave me out of the big girl gossip.

Emma freezes for a split second before her eyebrows furrowed together in contemplation, “I don’t know, it just has to be.”

I nonchalantly shrug my shoulders and sit on the couch before grabbing a handful of popcorn and shoving it into my mouth. Emma swats at my arm, “Mack! Don’t make a mess!”

“Whuh- iuts pouhpcourn” I retort, my mouth still filled with popcorn as Emma begins stress cleaning around me until the doorbell suddenly rings and she stands up straight so quickly before plastering a wide smile on her face. Just before she opens the door, she throws a warning look at me over her shoulder.

“Ava!” Ava squeals and tackles Emma into a huge bear hug while Emma just giggles like a schoolgirl, yuck.

“Hey, hey, let me say hi to Ava.” I see Emma shooting daggers at me in my peripheral vision but I ignore her as I give Ava a quick hello hug before settling back into my seat on the couch. “So” I take another handful of popcorn but before I can throw it all into my mouth, Emma glares at me, her eyes wide and full of warning, so I roll my eyes at her and plop a couple into my mouth before giving her a melodramatic smile. “What’s on the agenda for girl’s night?”

Ava and Emma share a weird look before Ava speaks up, “how about 2 truths and a lie?”

“Yes, I’ll finally get to learn your secrets.” I conspicuously rub my hands together, excitement running through my body.

“Yeah, now that we can trust you not to be a total blabbermouth,” Emma taunts.

“Hey I wasn’t that bad,” I throw my hands up defensively as Ava laughs.

“Yes you were.” Ava gestures over to Emma,” remember when Emma and I were freshmans and you came with your dad to pick Emma up from school and you literally screamed out that I had a crush on the science teacher.”

“Wait what was his name again?” Emma and Ava go silent as they try and remember before Ava slaps her thigh before shouting, “Mr Durrant!”

“Oh my god yeahhhhh,” Emma shakes her head as she and Ava laugh together but when they catch each other’s gaze, their laughter slowly fades and is replaced with an intense stare. Ava deftly glances at Emma’s lips before I awkwardly cough gaining the attention of the two girls again.

“So, 2 truths and a lie? I’ll go first. I’ve been arrested. I used to have an imaginary friend and I have a belly piercing.”

Ava and Emma share a conspirutual look before simultaneously saying, “belly piercing.”

“Come on Mack, you really think I forgot about your imaginary friend Lily? You used to always talk to her and have tea parties with her.”

I grumble and cross my arms together, “whatever someone else go next.”

“I’ll go.” Ava calls out. She presses her lips together in a thin line deep in thought before making an, “ah-ha” sound. “I’ve never broken a bone, i’ve been in a car crash and I have a secret cinder account.”

I reflect on Ava’s answers for a few moments before coming to a conclusion. “Definitely the broken bones. Did you think I wouldn’t remember the nasty fall you took in cheer your freshman year?”

Emma still in deep contemplation, quietly gazes at Ava. Her eyes roam her facial features before she squeaks out, “cinder account.”

“Ding, ding, ding.” Ava lifts her forefinger, tapping it on her nose, “we have a winner. To be honest I thought about making one but I chickened out at the last minute.”

“What? Why would you even consider making an account, you’re gorgeous. I would’ve thought you would have girls lining up around the block?

“Well even though we didn’t work out, I’m still grateful for the time I had with Bayla. She made me feel like I wasn’t alone because for a long time I felt like I was.” She flickers her gaze at Emma, her eyes softening, “And thanks to her she helped me realise that I have my eye on someone else.”

Emma gives Ava a small smile, hmmm so maybe something did happen between them and they haven’t told me before they keep giving each other flirty looks all night. Just to mess with them a little I break the moment between them by throwing a piece of popcorn at Emma, “I guess it’s your turn.”

“Okay fine. I’ve seen two boys from our school topless, I’ve dyed my hair blue and” she looks over at Ava, her eyes full of longing. “I kissed a girl.”

I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. THEY KISSED.

I play off Emma’s statement cooly with a blank expression on my face, trying to hide my happiness for them both. I subtly look over at Ava who is so trying not to blush right now but is attempting (and failing) to suppress a smile. Cute.

“Emma I live with you, I know you haven’t dyed your hair blue!”

“You got me.”

“Now that you mention it you would look good with blue hair.”

After a lot of convincing, we finally managed to get Emma to agree to dye her hair blue.

“I have a box of dye under my bed. I'm going to go grab it.” I leave the two girls and begin inspecting the contents under my bed, looking for the dye. I triumphantly cheer to myself, like a loser, when I find the box and as I’m about to enter the bathroom, I see Ava leaning down and whispering into Emma’s ear. I can’t hear what she’s saying but I can see Emma’s reflection in the bathroom mirror, her eyes glistening with desire? Excitement? I don’t know but I can tell Emma’s slightly nervous because she’s chewing on the inside of her cheek.

Emma’s about to respond to Ava before her eyes catch mine in the mirror, “Mack!” her voice startled, “we didn’t see you there.”

“Yeah I figured.” Emma looks away abashed while Ava awkwardly coughs before reaching out and plucking the dye from her hands.

We begin mixing the dye together with the bleach and then Ava begins parting Emma’s hair, her fingers slowly tangling in Emma’s hair, before giving it a playful tug. Yuck they’re indirectly not so indirectly flirting in front of me. Right in front of my metaphorical salad!

“Do you guys think I’ll look different after I dye my hair?” Emma asks as Ava begins painting on the dye with her fingers.

“How do you want to look?” She raises an eyebrow at Emma.

“Hot.”

Ava snorts, “please, like you need a boost in that department.”

“Hey everyone could use a little hotness, well everyone except you because you’re practically a goddess.”

Ava’s grin widens and she takes in Emma’s admission. “It’s true. I guess it’s a cheer captain thing.” I clamp my mouth shut, trying so hard not to say anything to ruin this moment, hoping that they’ll forget about my existence. And maybe it works a little too well because Emma and Ava flirt the rest of the time we’re dying her hair and it takes everything in me not to scream and tell them to stop being so weird.

“Wow you look sexy,” Ava beams at Emma as she brushes through her now blue hair, stars practically glistening in her eyes.

“Thanks, I guess I’m catching up to you in the hotness department.”

Ava growls, (weird), her voice a whisper, “mmm. I think you’ve definitely surpassed me.”

I think I barfed a little in my mouth when I finally have had enough and I throw my hands up in the air, “I’m going to bed!” I turn back and teasingly wiggle my eyebrows at the girls, “make sure to behave yourselves.”

I crash into my bed but an hour later I hear Emma’s bedroom door shut and a flurry of giggles coming from her room. I guess they’re now making out? Gross. Right where I can hear them. I fold my pillow over my ear, trying to drown the sound of the laughs, and sound of kissing and sucking? I don’t know and I sure as hell don’t want to find out. Eventually I doze off and when I wake up the next morning I creep up to Emma’s room to see if she’s awake and can make me breakfast. But when I open the door, I see her half naked body, tangled up with a half-naked Ava as they peacefully sleep in each other’s embrace. I quickly but quietly close the door and flop back into my bed, glad that my older sister is getting some but sad because I don’t know when I’m going to get my pancakes now.

#playchoices #my two first loves #mtfl ava #ava mtfl #ava x mc #ava lawrence #mackenzie price

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