#idk what ppl use

[ellyus]

i have a problem BECAUSE HEARTBREAK HIGH X THE RAVEN CYCLE CROSSOVERS ARE MAKING ME GO FUCKING CRAZY AND I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS (this shit is full of shit and long, but hmo)

I am talking about Cash & Chook = Ronan & Kavinsky parallels, you see

Chook & Kavinsky are pretty obvious, i think. Both are from fucked up families, we can assume both are from families with drug problems and overall substance abuse. They both were kids whose fate was pretty much laid infront of them to follow.

Ronan and Ca$h, also pretty fucked up families, parents gone, not many people from family to lean on, choosing found families, choosing to get better. (word of the day) Also both, are connected to self harming in a way or another.

We also have the scene in HBH where Woodsy calls Chook by his real name (Michael Cooper) and Chook shouts

"That's not my name!"

I am aware this is very subtle and on the border of overanalyzing (and might just be the characters whose pov Kavinsky was told from) but not a single character in trc has called Kavinsky only by his first name (hear me out now)

Later on when Chook and Cash are stuck in the middle of the lake we get to know how Ca$h got his name, Chook saying that he gave Ca$h his name. So I can only assume Chook also gave himself a name. Maybe to be separated as a person from the person he was before.

How we get to Kavinsky is that maybe Kavinsky is all the same, separating his own persona from him by only using his family name.

Getting to other parallels, (now remember Ronan = Cash)

We don't know shit about details (whats that? never heard?) but we can assume.

Chook was the one who helped Ca$h before Nan was in the picture, gave Ca$h a name, a place, a family (more or less), a place to belong

Kavinsky offered all the same, obviously we know that there was some sexual attraction and tension and just Kavinsky pining. But Kavinsky asked Ronan to be one of his, offered Ronan a place to belong, where Ronan could shamelessly be himself. Kavinsky saw all of Ronan what Gansey didn't want to know and acknowledge, that Ronan could be the same as Kavinsky and is the same as Kavinsky, dangerous, destructive, the list goes on.

Ca$h, young Ca$h didn't have anyone else than Chook, but then he did. Then he did have Darren, Harper, Quinni, Amerie, all of them. There isnt such a difference. Kavinsky doesn't have anything else (worth staying for, it seems) but Ronan has Gansey, has Gangsey.

Chook had chosen his lifestyle, Cash even offered Chook that he could change too, Chook declined and said that its his shit. He chose his future.

Kavinsky, too, had chosen his lifestyle, or maybe either of them couldn't think that they could get away from it. He chose his fate, by not getting down and getting killed by his own demon. It was his shit.

So back to the lake scene, now paralleling the last dreaming day and 4th of July.

Let me put these two scenes here, first from TRC

---

The difference between us and Kavinsky, Gansey whispered in Ronan’s head, is we matter.

“You don’t fucking need him,” Kavinsky said.

Ronan released the parking brake.

---

Chook: Look can we stop fucking about please. You're one of us. So why don't we just cut the shit and get back to how things were?

Cash: You don't get it, I can't.

Both, at the end refused to get back to whatever it was they had, they chose to get better.

While Chook & Kavinsky didn't. (yes im repeating this because theres so so so so so many times Ronan offered a possibility to Kavinsky and Kavinsky didn't take it because he couldn't have Ronan anyway (Cash wasn't that hopeful and asked only once))

Now, there's (still the lake) scene where Chook talks about how it was "me, who took care of you, me who.. , me me me." and theres Kavinsky, who taught Ronan how to dream.

More lines !

---

Cash: I haven't been taken in by some other world. I just saw ours for what it was. And it made me sick.

--

Going to how Cash and Ronan both, realised that the world they lived/could've chosen is not good. Is the wrong way and leads to more harm than good.

To the last part.

Cash telling Chook that he'd rather be dead than come back to Chook, go back to the world he now despises, (or always has.)

There's the way that Chook breaks when he hears that. The blinks his tears away, nods, gulps, sniffs, turns away and grunts, spits, acting fine. Tries the boat again and says, "Guess I just needed to show it a bit of love."

Now I haven't been able to actually get full sense of that line yet, but theres a deeper meaning to that (which rlly fucking annoys me that i dont know) But theres also Kavinsky when Ronan leaves the new dreamt up Camaro, hitting air, turning around, threatening, his voice shifting, expressing his feelings with rage but still hiding them. Like Chook did.

I'm aware there's probably many stories like this with character's like these, but their actions too, their personalities (not Ronan and Cash so much but I can see a (canon) Kavinsky variant in Chook, both running around with their pack of dogs.)

Anyway if you're as fucked as me and read this through, lmk what you think, (i repeated the same things over and over again but spare me)

[hinamie]

sidelong

[puppppppppy]

horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago

[w0rm3yy]

turned our closet into a bedroom for our cats. could a depressed person do this?

[pigeonstab]

i'm laughing for 30 minutes straight because when i was going to say "cross" I said "bross" 😞

did you know 'brosse' in french means brush?

[capricioussun]

2am post jumpscare

[nerice]

— ʀᴇᴢᴇ-ʜᴇɴ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ᴛʀᴀɪʟᴇʀ —

[cheriboms]

[spite] has entered the chat >:P

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[prongss78]

evan: i thought you were driving me home, barty..?

barty: hmm? no yeah, i am! i am! I'm driving home!

evan: ... this is not the way back to my house, barty.

barty: ohhhhhh, yeah no, i'm driving you to my home!

evan:

evan *texting pandora*: i might be murdered tonight but don't let him get arrested ok, he's too hot.

[pikhachu]

girls when their issues get dismissed as anxiety for the millionth time

[puppppppppy]

(guy who has never played cotl) haha au time

[discountdyke]

its crazy that people think having multiple personality disorders makes you more dangerous or fucked up bc like, the more abuse and trauma you suffer as a child, the more symptoms of PDs you will check off bc your behavior becomes so disordered in order to survive. having more than one PD (having several PDs) is common among childhood abuse survivors. PD comorbidity is crazy high and, ultimately, PDs are a way of categorizing symptoms for diagnostics and treatment.

it has nothing to do with your character, your worth as a human being, and your ability to heal. you adapted to survive your abuse. you can adapt to survive life after it.

[roscoehamiltons]

having some insomniac thoughts about how the public perception of the george vs max fight is affected by their PR personas, how much people value authenticity (or the appearance of being authentic) now in celeb culture, and how max uses that to his advantage….

[shadovvheart]

i'll make proper portraits of them eventually, but for now... quick and half-assed sketches of brosca, hawke, cadash, and mercar as warm-ups between commissions ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

[necrotic-nephilim]

what's fun about shipping Tim with Dick, Jason, or Damian is he has, at some point, hallucinated all of them to comfort himself. even when he doesn't like them or particularly get along with them, he has to imagine/hallucinate them just so he has the power to go on. Tim's concepts of the Robin mantle and what it should be is so fun, because he respects the others through the Robin mantle. Tim worships Dick because he was the first Robin. he wouldn't be Robin if Jason hadn't died in the mantle. and a lot of his frustration with Damian is he feels Damian isn't honoring the mantle correctly. when you ship Tim with the other Robins you can't divorce their identities as Robin from it because Tim will always see them as a Robin first and that's so fun and fucked up. like.

batman (1940) #456

Tim perceiving Dick as *Robin* cheering him on, not Nightwing, which is the version of Dick that Tim actually knows? that's just. wild of him. he will always view Dick as Robin first, his personal hero but also the original of the legacy. his love for Dick is shaped by that.

and then of course, even when he's hallucinating/imagining Jason cheering him on, it's *still* through the lense of being reminded how Jason failed? subconsciously believing that Jason got himself killed because of his actions, and that being a lesson for Tim to learn from? Jason isn't a person to Tim, he's a moral lesson about how to be Robin. any potential idolization he could have of Jason isn't because he loves Jason, it's because of the lessons Jason's death taught him.

and then, even though him hallucinating TIm is from the New-52, which makes characterization all kinds of questionable, i do think it makes sense for TIm to hallucinate/imagine Damian after Damian's death in an attempt to cope with it.

teen titans (2011) #18

to an extend, he sees Damian's death as in part his own fault. and even hating Damian, Tim needs the comfort from this to cope with Damian being gone. he's angry that Damian even was Robin, and has to learn something from Damian's death and how it impacts the Robin mantle, and teenage heroes as a whole. like, Tim can pretend he hates Damian all he wants, even getting taunted by the image of Damian, but there's still an underlying love to their relationship.

i think that's just the fun of shipping Tim with any of them. you will never divorce Tim's views of them from the Robin mantle and how fucking Unwell he is about anyone else who's been Robin before or after him, to the point he has to hallucinate them comforting him when he's at his lowest. it's always going to be a little unhealthy, a little toxic, and driven by Tim's relationship with being Robin as well. i need more Tim being weird about Robin in these ships.