#idk what i have to do to get closer to her
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angel on his shoulder: happy birthday (op81)
mean!oscar x sweet!reader
summary: oscar struggles to find the perfect gift for your birthday
notes: again, he’s not really mean, but idk what to call him now
wc: 1533
prev. part
You had somehow managed to do it, to worm your way into Oscar’s life, to make yourself a permanent part of his day. What was once passing glances had now turned into soft smiles and quiet conversations. He looked forward to seeing you everyday, to talking with you.
He started saving a seat for you whenever he ate lunch, or sitting closer to Lando during meetings, so he could sit closer to you. He longed to be at the receiving end of your smiles and laughs, and mentally cheered when he was.
Of course spending more time with you meant spending more time with Lando as well. Oscar didn’t dislike Lando, not at all, but Lando could occasionally be… a bit much. Especially when he was wiggling his eyebrows at him for simply talking with you.
He was sitting in the training room at the MTC one day, getting ready to begin his workout when he feels an arm around his shoulders. He turns to see Lando smirking down at him.
“Hey.” He says.
“Hey yourself.” Lando replies. “What are you up to?”
Oscar furrows his eyebrows and looks around the gym. “What do you think?”
Lando rolls his eyes, but smiles as he walks towards a set of weights.
“Is, uh, is Y/n coming around?” Oscar tries to sound casual, but hearing Lando snort makes his face flush.
“To stay with me while I work out? I doubt she’d be interested in that.” He scoffs. “But I bet she’d be more interested if she knew you were here too.”
“What?” Oscar spurts. “Why would she?” He can feel his face burning up.
“No reason.” Lando says, teasingly. “Hey, what are you doing for next week?”
Oscar furrows his brows. “What’s going on next week?”
“Y/n’s birthday.” Lando answers. “You didn’t know?” He turns to look at Oscar.
Oscar tries to think back, wondering if you’ve mentioned your birthday.
“Well it’s next week. I’m throwing a party for her. You can come if you want.”
Oscar nods. “Yeah, yeah I’ll be there.”
Lando grins. “Good. She’ll be glad to hear that.”
Oscar tries to hide the blush he feels spreading on his cheeks.
“I’ve already got her gift picked out and wrapped. Not by me, of course. It’d look like I was handing her a wad of paper.”
“Gift?” Oscar asks. He feels panic beginning to rise in his chest.
“Yeah, gift. It’s a birthday.” Lando laughs. “You have to get her a gift.”
“Right.” Oscar murmurs. He stands up. “I think I’m done here, for the day.” With that he walks out of the training center, gym bag slung over his shoulder, his gaze locked on the ground as he leaves.
“Didn’t even see him do anything.” Lando mumbles to himself.
Oscar spends the rest of the day wracking his brain for something, anything to get you for your birthday. He could get you jewelry? But that seems too intimate. Money? Too casual.
He sits alone while he eats his lunch, staring off into space as he eats, trying to think of something.
“Hey, Os. You okay?” You ask softly placing your food down on the table next to him.
He snaps out of his thoughts, looking at you wide-eyed.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”
You laugh. “I don’t know, you’ve got this weird look on your face.”
He shakes his head. “No I don’t.”
“Okay, fine.” You laugh.
Oscar sighs, looking back at his food, but out of the corner of his eye he sees a book on your lap.
“What’s that?” He asks.
“Oh,” you smile, lifting the book to put it on the table. “It’s the book I’m reading right now.”
Oscar looks at the cover.
“It’s actually like, the tenth time I’m reading it.” You say.
Oscar snorts. “Why?”
“It’s my favorite book.” You shrug. “It’s so good. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it.”
Oscar hums.
“No, seriously, it would be so nice to have someone to talk to about it.” You whine. “I tried to get Lando to read it, and do you know what he said? He said ‘I’ll wait for the movie’. Can you believe that?” You ask.
Oscar laughs. “That sounds about right.” He watches as you push the book to the side to eat your lunch. “Hey, I gotta go, but I’ll see you later.”
“Oh, okay, see you.”
Oscar tries not to let the way your shoulders slump affect him. He gathers his things, and leaves you sitting there, pulling out his phone as he walks away.
After work Oscar goes to several different shops, looking for that damned book. He’s just about to give up, when he finally finds one lone copy. He keeps it tucked close to his chest as he walks to the checkout counter, as if afraid someone’s going to try to pry it from his hands.
He spends any free time he has for the week with his nose in the book. He brings it with him to the MTC, he reads it before and after work, he feels like the book becomes a part of him.
He shows up to Lando’s apartment for your party, with his gift tucked under his arm. He’d spent about an hour on picking a shirt, then another on fixing his unruly hair.
He has to admit, he’s surprised when he walks into Lando’s apartment. It’s not the bright rave lights or loud music he’d picture Lando would pick out for a party for himself, instead it’s soft warm lighting with some soft music in the background.
“I see you’ve made it.” Lando says, when he sees Oscar. “And you’ve managed to find a gift.” He smirks. “What’d you get her?”
Oscar shakes his head. “It’s nothing.”
“Keeping it a surprise?”
Before Oscar can answer, he’s pulled into a soft hug. “Thanks for coming, Os.” He hears your voice next to his ear.
Oscar smiles, wrapping an arm around you. “Happy birthday.”
When you pull away Oscar allows himself a moment to admire you. You’re wearing a soft dress that compliments you well. He notices the small sparking stone on the necklace around your neck.
“Pretty necklace.” He says.
You lift a hand to touch the stone. “Thanks. Lando got it for me.”
Oscar feels an uncomfortable twist in his stomach. His eyes search for the brit, who has made himself scarce.
“I told him it was too much. He said it’s the least he can do for me, having to put up with him everyday.” You laugh.
Oscar gives you an unconvincing smile, awkwardly shifting the gift under his arm, the gift he’s starting to feel immensely insecure about.
“Do you want to go sit somewhere?” You ask him. “Lando invited all of these people, but I don’t think I know half of them.” You laugh.
Oscar nods, following you as you lead him to the balcony.
You each take a seat, looking out at the sun setting over Monaco. He can’t help but admire you. The sun makes you practically glow, your eyes quite literally sparkle.
“Thanks for coming, really.” You break the silence. “I appreciate what Lando’s done, but I can’t help but feel a bit… out of place.”
Oscar hums. He holds out his gift to you, figuring it’d be better to deal with the embarrassment of you thinking it’s lame out here alone, rather than inside surrounded by people.
He watches as you tear open the gift, a confused look spreading across your face as you see what it is.
“It’s my book…” You say, holding the same book you showed him at the beginning of the week, though this copy is clearly newer. “Thanks Oscar.” You say, trying to hide your disappointment.
“Open it.”
You look at him confused again. “I swear if you cut a hole in my favorite book-“
“Just open it.” He cuts you off with a smile.
You slowly open it, flipping through the first few pages, the title page, the acknowledgment, the table of contents, until you get to the first actual page of the book.
Inside, surrounding the text in the book are little notes and doodles, scrawled in messy handwriting. You flip through the pages to see them everywhere.
“You annotated it?” You ask softly.
Oscar nods. “I read it this week. I figured it would be nice for you to have someone to talk to about it.” He says. He takes a deep breath. “Look, I know it’s not great-“
“I love it.” You cut him off.
“You do?”
You nod. You had copies upon copies of this book, paperbacks, hardcovers, special editions, sprayed edges, but none of them compared to the one in your hands. The one Oscar took the time to read, then write out all of his own thoughts for you. It felt like you were holding a piece of him in your arms.
“Yeah, I love it. Thank you.” You murmur, pulling him into a hug.
Oscar feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders as he wraps his arms around you. He smiles to himself, feeling like he’s successfully planted himself in your heart now.
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hellooo I just want to say that I like your blog, I really like your writing style🫶🏻🫶🏻 AND
what do you think about Vernon finding the reader's twitter spam account? at first, without saying anything, he follows her from a fake account and learns her fetishes and things like that. then he can't hold back and teasing the reader because of this situation and does all the things she reposts, all she wants and imagines(I honestly can't decide whether they will be friends or lovers and I leave it to you)
thank you very much in advance🩷🩷🩷🩷
when vernon finds out about your freaky tweets
WARNINGS: smut, face slapping, BIG DICK!VERNON, cock riding, mentions of hair pulling, dirty talk, choking.
it starts innocently enough; you’ve got your little spam account, this place where you post anything that comes to mind without a second thought. it’s private, anonymous—you’re safe, or so you think. until one day, you start noticing a new follower, someone with zero posts and a random handle, lurking in the notifications. you brush it off, figuring it’s just some bot. but vernon… well, vernon's been piecing things together. and one night, after reading one of your latest posts—something so NASTY that practically burned his screen—he decides he can't just pretend he hasn’t seen it. so he waits until you’re in the living room next saturday, all comfortable, maybe a little too comfortable. you look up, seeing him standing there with that little frown he gets when he's too stressed to understand something, a raised eyebrow, and his phone in his hand.
“so… ‘i just want him to hold me down and—’” he reads aloud, and you feel everything in you freeze up as he raises an eyebrow at you. “‘then pull my hair back so i can see his face… maybe, idk, slap me around a little?’ really, y/n?”
you scramble, trying to play it cool “vernon—wait, why—where’d you see that?”
“oh, i dunno. i’ve been following this account for a while. figured i’d wait until you posted something really crazy before bringing it up.”
you stammer, face going hot. “i—you didn’t have to read it out loud like that, jesus.”
“oh, come on,” he says, leaning in, crowding your space just enough to make you feel cornered “you can post it, but i can’t say it?”
you swallow hard “i didn’t… i didn’t think you’d see it.”
“didn’t think i’d find out?” he echoes, voice dropping a little. “you know, all this time, i’ve been seeing these little things you like. i didn’t say anything because i thought you’d be embarrassed. but now…” he smirks, leaning back with a sigh, watching you. “now i think maybe i should give you some of what you’re so clearly craving.”
“vernon,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady, but it’s hard when he’s looking at you like he’s imagining every filthy thing you’ve ever posted.
he smirks, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “oh, don’t go all shy on me now. i’ve read what you want. all of it. let’s start with the basics, huh?” his hand trails down, tipping your chin up, thumb brushing over your bottom lip. “you wanna ride me? why didn’t you just say so?”
you feel your heart pounding as he pulls you closer, he's practically purring as he goes, “or that other thing you posted—what was it? something about choking you?” he wraps his hand lightly around your throat, thumb brushing over the sensitive skin as he watches your reaction. “like this?”
you almost cant nod, you're melting, your breath coming short as he tightens his grip just enough to make you feel it “so pretty when you’re horny,” he murmurs, fingers pressing just a little more.
and when you shake your head, he grins, pulling you onto his lap, guiding you to straddle him as his hands settle on your hips “guess i’ve gotta make up for all those little fantasies you’ve been hiding, huh?”
“you sure you can handle it?” he whispers, leaning in, lips brushing against your neck. “’cause i don’t think you really knew what you were asking for when you posted all that.”
but you nod, he tilts your head up, lips brushing over yours, and you feel his hand come up, palm grazing over your cheek before he slaps you—just a little, just enough to make you gasp. he chuckles when you moan, liquefying on his lap, fingers tilting your face back to him.
[...]
he’s already watching you with a azy smirk, eyes rolling sliighty as you sink down onto him, your thighs trembling as you struggle to take all of him in. and god, he’s big. you knew he would be—you’d guessed it a dozen times in all those reckless tweets, wondering just how good it’d feel, but feeling it now, it’s like all that teasing turned on you, stretching you almost too much, and every inch you take feels like a challenge.
“aww, look at you,” he coos, his hands resting on your hips, fingers rubbing little circles into your skin as you try to ease down, taking him deeper, even though it’s making your breath catch, making you whimper and shake. “what happened, baby? i thought you said you could handle it.”
you bite your lip, cheeks burning, and he chuckles, leaning in closer, voice low and teasing. “or maybe you just wanted me to be big so you could talk all that shit on your little account,” he murmurs, running his thumb over your lip. “all those tweets you made, talking about wanting me to be, what—eight, nine inches?” he grins, watching the way you flush, the way your hands grip his shoulders to steady yourself. “think you got what you wished for, hm?”
“shut up,” you manage to whisper, but it’s so breathless, your body clenching around him, and he laughs, hands guiding you down just a bit further, his hips lifting just a little to meet you, that makes you gasp, makes you try to pull back, but he keeps you there, fingers firm on your hips.
“no, no, let’s see you take it,” he whispers, voice rough with that soft teasing. “come on, baby. don’t tell me this is too much. you wanted all of it, right?”
you nod, trying to adjust, but it’s almost too much fr, too thick, too deep, and he watches you with those hooded eyes, savoring every single whimper you make. “it’s okay,” he says softly, almost soothing as he leans up to kiss you, but you can hear that cocky lilt in his tone. “you’re doing so good. even if you can’t take all of it… god, you’re trying, huh?”
and he’s right there, brushing his lips over your cheek, murmuring sweet, filthy encouragements into your ear as you sink down a little more, taking just a bit more of him, even though your body’s practically begging for a break. “that’s it… there you go. so good, baby. i’m impressed,” he purrs, hands trailing up your back. “i didn’t think you’d take even this much.”
every time you pause, every time your breath catches, he’s right there, fingers digging into your hips, guiding you, helping you ride him “guess you really wanted to know..” he murmurs, grinning as he watches you struggle, your head falling back as you finally take just a little more, his hands pulling you down hard against him until you can feel every inch of him.
“there it is… that’s my girl,” he whispers, in asatisfied rasp, his eyes dark as he watches you ride him, just as you’d dreamed about, exactly as you’d hoped—only now it’s even better.
#seventeen imagines#seventeen reactions#seventeen x reader#seventeen scenarios#seventeen headcanons#svt imagines#seventeen#seventeen smut#svt smut#vernon smut#vernon fic#vernon imagines#vernon x reader#vernon x you#vernon x oc#hansol smut#hansol imagines#hansol fanfic#hansol fic#vernon seventeen
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Just Like Old Times
Jake 'Hangman' Seresin & F!Reader
Written for @narcosfandomdiscord Book of Inception: fanwork that provides an origin story for a character that doesn't have one & "He made me who I am" & improvement
Warnings: 18+, language
Word Count: 2.4k
A/N: the way that the last week or so has gone really just zapped all the motivation and creativity out of me, so getting this written really fought me every step of the way lmao. but i will say, that thinking about Jake Seresin in high school was fun. giving him a brother was also fun. going three for three on these prompts was challenging and rewarding and fun. and now i want to revisit these two at some point because idk i have issues lmao
You knew from the second that you’d walked into The Hard Deck that night that he didn’t remember you. Part of you didn’t really blame him, high school being such a distant memory for all of you now. Not just in years, but in all the experiences you’d packed into those years as well. From one standpoint you understood it…sort of.
From another standpoint you couldn’t believe that he could look you in the face and not say a word, not have even the tiniest flicker of recognition. He had looked right at you, and moved right on along to the next person. No matter how much things changed, they always stayed the fucking same.
It wasn’t until everyone was sitting out on the beach after the football game that the two of you even had a real conversation. Up until that point everyone had been running circles around each other, and you had much bigger things to worry about than Jake Seresin’s recollections of you, or lack thereof.
You were mid-conversation with Bob and Natasha when you noticed that neither of them were really looking at you anymore. You searched their faces, trying to figure out what it was that they were looking at.
Natasha leaned back, palms sinking into the sand as she said, “Bagman, six o’clock and incoming.”
You rolled your eyes, still not turning around to look at him. “Man knows how to ruin a good day.”
You didn’t have to look back to know how close he was, the tilts of Bob’s and Natasha’s head spelling out that information for you. His footfalls were nearly silent on the sand. Without realizing it, the closer he got, the deeper you pushed your fingertips into the sand like you were searching for something to grip onto.
Suddenly you were cast in Hangman’s shadow as he stood directly behind you. You shut your eyes for a moment, the longest blink ever as you tried hard to bite your tongue.
“Ladies,” he said, and you didn’t have to be looking at him to know exactly what his face looked like. “Bobby.”
Natasha was squinting against the sun but she still pulled a bit of a face. “It’s a good day, Hangman,” she said with just enough warning in her tone. “Let’s keep it that way.”
He chuckled, and you could see from the movement of his shadow that he was holding his hands out. “Every day at Top Gun is a good day, Phoenix. Thought you would’ve known that already.”
You were hoping that it was just going to be a quick thing, an in-passing comment that he made because he simply couldn’t bring himself to walk by your little trio without saying anything. But of course it wasn’t. Somehow the shift went from Natasha making extremely thinly veiled comments to the effect that Jake should hit the goddamn bricks, to him plopping down on the ground right there with you. He wedged himself right there between you and Bob like he had been there the whole time.
It didn’t take very long after that for Natasha to find a reason to leave. And wherever Natasha went, Bob was only ever a few steps behind. That left it with just you and Jake and the ocean that was slowly beginning to calm in front of you. It was a scene that could’ve been a peaceful one if the man sitting next to you had any interest in that.
Legs bent and pulled up towards you, you draped your arms across your knees. You were staring out at the receding waves as you asked, “To what do I owe the pleasure, Seresin?”
You could feel him staring at you and you made a point to not return the gesture. “Where’d you say you were from?”
You shook your head. “I didn’t. Also don’t think you’ve actually asked me a question directly the entire time we’ve been here.” You cast him a glance. “Too busy giving Rooster a hard time.”
He narrowed his eyes slightly at you like he was studying you, but there was still a smirk on his face. The more time you spent around him, the more you wondered if that was just what his face defaulted to these days. He leaned back on his palms, legs stretched out in front of him.
“Wasn’t until I heard Phoenix call you by your last name earlier that I realized—”
“Wow,” you barked out with a laugh, unable to stop yourself. “You’ve been running drills and sitting in class with me for how long and it took until today for you to recognize me? No sense of déjà vu sitting two rows over from me and picking on other kids in class? Nothin’ jogged your memory even a little?”
He leaned back, brows meeting for a moment. “When did you—”
“The first night we all got here!” you said, gesturing emphatically at nothing.
The smirk instantly returned to his face. “I’m that memorable, huh?”
You rolled your eyes and shook your head. “Fuck off.”
“What? C’mon, you can’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad.”
“No?” he asked, chuckling like he knew better than to believe you. A lot of confidence in your character for someone who only remembered who you were within the last two hours.
“No. Being mad would suggest that I’m somehow surprised that you’re still the way that you are. And I’m definitely…not.” You sighed. “You’re still Jake Seresin. Only difference now is—”
“My rank? The number of confirmed kills I have?” he tried to fill in the blanks, cocky as he’d ever been.
You looked at him. “Only difference is now you’re old enough to know better.” You saw the way he rolled his eyes at you and couldn’t help but to say, “I don't get you, Jake.”
The look on his face let you know that it had been a long time since someone referred to him by just his first name, not his last or his callsign. There was something intimate about it in a way. You wouldn't have given it any thought if he hadn't flinched at it.
He recovered as quickly as he could, that air of nonchalance reappearing around him. “I'm no Mystery Man.” He held his hands out in a brief gesture, like an invitation to scan him over. “What you see is what you get.”
It wasn't untrue. Jake Seresin had never been the type of person who lived a double life. Who he was around you was exactly who he was around everyone else. Maybe when it was just him, when there was no one else in the room looking to him or expecting anything from him, he was a different person. Not that it mattered—the world was never going to know. Reaching as far back as you could in your brain for memories of him, he'd always been some version of the man sitting in the sand next to you. He was just looking a little more refined these days.
You had just been hoping, when you'd seen him again, that maybe he would've changed by now. Nothing would be different if he wasn't different, but it would've been nice if it could be. The longer you looked at him, the more you tried to un-blur all of the memories that you hadn't bothered to tap into in a long time.
“How's your brother these days?” you asked, diverting course just slightly.
The question was immediately met with an eye-roll. “Fine.”
You had to let out a quiet laugh at that. “Yeah? That good, huh?”
He shrugged. “You want the play-by-play or something?” He shook his head, looking out at the ocean instead of at you. “He's fine.”
“You two not get along anymore or something? I thought you were both—”
“I see him on holidays. We text on birthdays. He is off doing…whatever he does.”
You hadn't expected the tension. From what you remembered, the two of them had gotten along well enough. His brother was a few years ahead of both of you, in his senior year of high school when the two of you were freshman. But he'd always been nice, nicer than Jake had been anyway. But they ran in a lot of the same circles, played a lot of the same sports, and they seemed to have a relatively good time doing it. Judging by the way that Jake was avoiding looking in your direction, you were now wondering if you were misremembering it all.
“We're grown-ups now, you know,” you offered up finally. “If you don't want to talk about him you can just say that.”
He flipped it right back on you. “We're grown-ups now, I can answer questions about Tommy if you have them.”
You laughed quietly and shook your head. “I can see that. The answers you've given so far have been so thorough and paint such a clear picture.” It got him to laugh even though you could tell that he didn’t want to give you the satisfaction. After a moment you cleared your throat. “You guys just seemed to get along back then, is all.”
Now he was looking at you again. “Yeah, Tommy got along with everyone back then—still does.”
You hummed in amusement. “Guess that trait isn't a genetic one, then.”
He cracked a small grin as he swatted sand at you. “Funny.” There was a pause, and you were waiting for him to pick something else to talk about, or for him to just get up and leave. Instead, he gave himself a moment and then said, “Tommy graduated with a full ride, but even when he was gone somehow I was still…” he trailed off. “Navy was the first place I wasn't a legacy kid. No footsteps to follow. Just me.”
“Hmm,” you nodded, not sure what you really wanted to say in response to that.
He caught your uncertainty. “What?”
“Nothing, I just…you wanna say that your brother, your family, your whoever was why you were like that back then. Fine, I get that, kind of. But then why,” you curled your fingers into the sand, “are you still up to all the same shit?”
“I'm not—”
“You are.” The laugh you let out was dry. “I'm one of the only people here that you can't lie to about that. I knew you back then, and I know you now, and from what I've seen? Not much has changed.”
The pinch of his brows let you know that what you were saying was getting to him, whether he admitted to it or not. He tried to hide it, and was semi-successful at it—it probably would've fooled someone else. “If it ain't broke—”
You didn't let him get to the end of the sentence. “There's always room for improvement.”
You were used to laughing at your own little one-liners, but Jake laughing at them too was new, especially when they were at his expense. Whatever the two of you were doing in that moment, it was the closest to being friends that you'd ever been. It was still a stretch but it was something.
“I don't know, you stack my resumé up against anyone else's here and I'd say I'm about as improved as it gets.”
“I think the one thing that could definitely still do with some improving is your humility,” you rebutted with a laugh. You geared up to hear some comment about how there was no need to be humble if he could back up everything that he was saying. When he didn’t, you said, “And, if you feel like taking suggestions—”
“You got another one for me?” he joked.
You laughed. “Yeah, of course.” You cleared your throat. “You said it yourself that this is the one place where none of that other stuff matters, like it never happened. So maybe, when you get a chance, you should get around to dropping all the bitterness that goes along with the brotherhood rivalry.” You shrugged, offering a small smile. “Cocky doesn't pair well with the sad, ‘He made me who I am,’ shtick.”
He raised his eyebrows in surprise as he laughed. “You're meaner than I remember.”
“Yeah, that's because you don't remember me,” you said, the lift at the ends of your lips taking the sting out of your words.
The look of surprise didn’t fade from his face, neither did the amusement. “Damn.”
You still had a smile on your face as you stood back up. Brushing the sand off the backs of your legs, you looked at him. It was a strange feeling, caught between remembering how things were back then and knowing how they were now. A lot of things hadn't changed, clearly, but the circumstances certainly had. You wanted more of it to be different, but there was no saying it so plainly.
“You heading back?” you asked, standing completely upright.
He looked up at you from where he was sitting. Shaking his head, he replied, “Not yet.”
You cocked your head to the side, folding your arms over your chest. “Going to sit out here with your thoughts?”
He chuckled and shrugged. “Well, you did give me a lot to think about.”
“Don't think too hard,” you joked as you started to walk away, “otherwise smoke’ll start coming out of your ears.”
“Your concern is touching!” he called after you, laughing as he spoke.
Turning around to face him, you continued walking away. “Guess I'm just too sentimental for my own good!” you replied, throwing your hands up in apparent exasperation with yourself.
You could still see the grin on his face as you turned back around. Even with your back to him, you still found yourself smiling too. You knew better than to get your hopes up for much, but there was still part of you that was thinking that maybe there was still a chance for things to start changing before all was said and done.
There was still the very large possibility that things would continue to be the same as they ever were. You knew that. But, the same way you'd been wanting things to be different the first night you turned up at The Hard Deck, you still wanted things to be different now. It felt a little more attainable now than it had then. And, if nothing else, at least you knew that this time everything was going to be a bit more memorable.
(divider by @inklore 🩶)
TGM Taglist: @garbinge @proceduralpassion @cositapreciosa @justreblogginfics (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)
#narcovember#book of inception#top gun maverick#top gun maverick fanfiction#tgm#tgm fanfiction#jake seresin#jake seresin fanfiction#hangman#hangman fanfiction#jake seresin x reader#jake seresin x you#x reader#x reader fic#hangman x reader#my writing#fanfiction#drabblesmc
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Hi! Hope everythings good w you!
Can we have boyfriend Noah w bisexual reader? 😊
Idk maybe something like, thirsting over the same girl... idk idk do your magic!
Thanks!
I desperatly wanted to write a fxfxm threesome, but as a bi girl, I don't know how other people would feel about this, since it's a pretty big stereotype. If anyone is ever interested in something like this, let me know!
I wrote Noah as reader's friend in this!
You would like to say you and Noah had different types in women, but that would be a lie. It wasn't uncommon for you both to find out you've hookep up with the same girl once or twice.
He loved to boast about the fact that he pleased women so much better than you, and you loved to tell him that wasn't possible, because you're a woman yourself, and you knew exactly what they liked, and that was an advantage in itself.
He was way more straightforward that you were, you would give that to him, But that was only because it was hard to tell if the girl you had your eyes on also liked girls when you went out to bars with the boys.
So usually, you would find him chatting up the girl you just told him 10 minutes ago you found attractive. He would give you a wink from the bar and you would just roll your eyes at him.
Right now, you were at a house party, observing Ava, a friend of Nicholas. He gave you all the info on her beforehand, telling you that he was inviting her to the party, the she liked girls and that she was single. It was time to make your move and maybe end the night with a nice girl beside you.
Right as you were about to start walking towards her to strike up a conversation, you saw Noah start making his way over to her. You picked up your pace and caught up to him, getting in front of him and making him stop in his tracks.
"You're not doing this tonight", you told him, your finger probing his chest. Your voice was resolute.
"Doing what?", he had a smug look on his face that told you he knew exactly what you were talking about.
"That girl over there? I'm gonna go out there and flirt with her, you can stay on the sidelines and watch", you raised your eyebrows at him.
"Ok, ok", he put his hands up as in surrender.
"Maybe you can watch and write down a thing or two about how to charm a woman", you teased him, not missing the opportunity.
"Maybe I will. There's this girl I've been trying to charm, but she's pretty hard to win over", he looked at you up and down, and you felt a chill run down your spine. You had a feeling he could talking about you, but you shrugged it off.
"Maybe it's just you who isn't all that interesting", you held a challenge in your eyes, and he took a step closer to you, lips going to whisper something in your ear.
"I'll ask Nicholas to invite his friend over to hang out with us next weekend. Maybe I'll take her up to my bedroom and then she can decide who's more interesting"
And with that, he made his way past you, shoulder slightly brushing yours. And you were left there, mouth a little agape at his insinuation.
But he would learn you're not the one to back down from a challenge.
#noah sebastian x reader#bad omens#noah sebastian#bad omens imagine#bad omens fanfiction#noah sebastian imagine#bad omens smut#noah sebastian smut#noah sebastian fic#bad omens fandom#bad omens fic#bad omens fluff#bad omens headcanons#bad omens one shot#noah sebastian fanfiction#noah sebastian fluff#noah sebastian headcanons#noah sebastian one shot#requested
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thinking about her (transfem nico robin)
she knew she was a girl since a really young age but due to being on the run was only able to get on hrt after joining baroque works, in fact access to e and bw being trans friendly was, next to being able to search for the poneglyphs, the most important reason she stayed there as long as she did
robin wanting for a long time to have long hair like her mom, but only starting to grow it out after ennies lobby because before that it didn't feel right to do when she was just surviving and not living like olvia wished her to
she might have gotten the full ivankov's hrt, might have went the real world way, but they definitely talked about it during the timeskip and the revs provided her with gender affirming care whichever way she chose (personally i think she'd choose the closer to real world way, so her body would keep a record of her history)
As a trans person I relate so much to her story,,, I know her whole plot about "being a monster" and "feeling left out" isn't specifically about that but it is a metaphor for kids who were different and I feel like the transfem HC for her is so, so real. I've always seen her as this older sister figure who couldn't be herself when she was young so now she has the chance to have fun and still gives perfect advice when it comes to queerness. I feel like she'd be the best influence for young trans people,,, (not to mention my transfem Sanji HC here but I am thinking about her too).
Her admiration toward her mom coming from a place of both love and wanting to be like her,, It's just so sweet. And I believe Baroque works would be so open to queer identities (it's basically canon what am I saying) that she'd finally get to be herself openly. It makes me wonder about Crocodile's transmasc HC too, tbh. I mean, it fits so well with this and I believe that despite everything they'd make Robin feel safe.
When she joins the Strawhats it's sort of like-- The biggest breath of fresh air for her. She doesn't need to tell them anything and if she wants to, she knows they will accept her. She doesn't hide anything but she doesn't make it her personality even if she acknowledges it is a big part of herself. Idk,, I think that Luffy sees gender as something so insignificant and unimportant that it is a relief for Robin to not think about it for once and just... Breathe.
And!!! The Ivankov/Revs thing is always so awesome to hear with OP trans headcanons. I think Robin sharing her experience with others and being able to transition in a way that's safe and comfortable and makes her feel at home and understood is so so so important. No matter what she chooses, because her loved ones will see her as herself anyway,,,
#nico robin you will forever mean the world to me#she's like the trans older sister i wish had raised me#she's just so gentle and casual about all of this despite having had the worst childhood#she finally has a home!!!!!! somewhere to belong!!!! somewhere she's loved!!!!#one piece#nico robin#transfem nico robin#ask-bean!
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#rant#i think my bff has new boyfriend#which i’m just annoyed about bc#i like hee and she said she didn’t have time but this guy comes along and she does?#and i’m also worried about her husband#bc i feel like they next hangout#but she’s always with her bf and this new guy#and idk it’s just a bunch of white guys#aren’t you supposed to be pansexual#am i jealous#yeah probably#bc she also went on a camping trip#and i wanna go camping and i didn’t hear jackshit about it#idk what i have to do to get closer to her#i feel left out but can’t explain why or what i’m doing wrong#i have therapy on wednesday dw#personal#not feedism
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charia + little sisters
#my art#knb#midorima's sis is definitely like baby but I can see takao's sis being like middle school#midorima just seems like he spent more time as an only child#and takao seems like he'd have a sibling closer in age so they'd have more of that classic silly sibling dynamic if that makes sense asdfds#i also wanted to give midorima's sis a different shade of green#and i thought it'd make sense to make it like that greenish brown color so its more normal-ish#so yes i did get her hair color from makoto from free sasjkfhda#i also considered doing like inuko's hair but i already gave her the eyebrows lol#i wanna draw some more doodles of em#also midorima 100% gets some of his lucky items from his little sister's toys#i also tried to give takao's sister the same uniform as ootsubo's sis but idk what color the skirt is#also idk how to carry a child on one's shoulders ignore it#kuroko no basuke#kuroko no basket#midorima shintarou#takao kazunari#midotaka#ig?? not really but i'm putting it anyway
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i just heard someone on youtube (T B Skyen) say that silco loved jinx but didnt quite know how to love powder, while vi loves powder but doesnt know how to love jinx. and oooof oof ouch yeah
also it got me thinking and obviously jinx and powder arent two different people shes just going by a different name now but its also not baseless to analyze them as different "characters", or what traits of jinx are part of powder, etc. like the animators literally have a trick where they change her facial structure how they animate jinx to show when shes behaving more like powder. shes completely changed who she is, its jinx now powder fell down a well, sat on the jinx chair embraces who she is etc etc
#powder is like jinxs inner child#while jinx is- or was before the chair scene- the persona she puts on where she loves Violence and Chaos and shes Crazy HaHaHaHaHa#so when someone says like. ''jinx is being more powder in this scene'' it means shes regressing into being more childlike because of her#trauma or maybe shes so distressed and emotional that her persona fell apart for a second and the sad child underneath showed through#''silco loves jinx but doesnt know how to love powder'' means he loves and supports her being confident and smart in her inventions and#trying to accept and move on from her past. but hes teeeeerrible at that bc he doesnt want to let powder heal#he just wants her to bury that part of herself#and vi loves and cares for her baby sister so so much but shes terrified and doesnt want to accept the reality of what shes become#i do think vi had a point before tho. powder Was in there and while that doesnt negate jinx she could still reach her#and maybe help her out#idk how true that is after shimmer and silco dying tho. again. chair scene. the persona has fully become who jinx is theres no going back#powder fell down a well#arcane#jinx arcane#powder arcane#ignore me im just brainstorming ive been thinking about this show CONSTANTLY for the past few weeks i have so many thoughts on everyone#im sure this is a conclusion people reached years ago immediately after the show came out but im slow#theres a point between the child powder and the crazy terrorist jinx where the real true her lies#and that point has been getting closer and closer to the jinx side
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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yeah sorry having transfemme lucius and bella thoughts. yeah. sorry
#lucius being a well respected death eater and commanding a lot of respect#locked away in bellas chambers afterwards where she dresses lucius up in lacey underwear and pampers her like a lady#yeah sorry#lucius being heir and bella wanting to be heir and the role reversal of it all#like yeah hes the man of the family but what if hes also bellas babygirl idk#secret relationship first war type beat#yeah bella is a few years older.. yeah.#bella getting to taste what its like to hold the power of the man of the house#and lucius being her girl#sorry yeah#thats where we’re at friends#also lots of ulterior motives and backstabbing. sorry.#bella using this as opportunity to get closer to voldy#their communication is not a healthy one#sorry about that#its a messy first war affair about secret desires and lust and ulterior motives#yeah.. gonna need a minute#no feelings involved just doing each other favors#both of them using each other to get a taste of something they’ll never have#<— lucius desire for womanhood / bellas desire to be equal to men (male heirs)#its also about humiliating the other and holding it above their head#etc etc and so on and so forth#complex! i love it here
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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#T's “what did u call me? do u think whatever that is is hot? okay then good”#i love the tour pic above K!#and i love how they r still plucked abt not being in Dune2#K the avid winker...#its so cute how T is featured on this album of K's too😭😭😭#T wants to be left alone (on the phone) on her bday and K wants attention... well... ((once again relating to K))#T looked at Ks belly in a suprisingly like? soft way? idk i might have hallucinated that but who knows.#fuck whoever didnt visit K when she would have wanted them to.#its sweet how T visited her! (srsly cant u just communicate who wants what in this situation so its no suprise? ik its hard for them but😭)#T describing Ks party attending habits!!! they know each other soooo well🤭#aaagh how they have to act like they cant easily spend 2 hrs together having fun when they literally cant wipe the smiles off of their faces#(lesbians..... lovesick idiots.......)#oh they r always facetiming! so adorable :(#T was so excited that they r linked! like girl u do not need more confirmation for that research do u?😭#K watching the pod...... my heart......#why dont they just sit closer if they will reach across a whole fucking room to touch eachother?? like it sounds easier for me but u do u!#i really get a kick out of K mentioning TRHPS anytime she does it bc ik it was such a big thing in Ts life and ugh😭#constantly praising each other😭😭😭😭😭 what if i start sobbing huh#well maybe T is trying to get K to learn how to flirt so that she can practice on her? just an idea?😁#K putting her leg up on T?????? hi what? jist sit in the other's lap u creatures... its okay we can all look away for a sec if u need it...#their art! i fucking love it! both of it! its art at its finest🛐 and id kill to see a collection of their drawings bc cmon they r amazing!#its cute how they r talking abt smth and then they go “oh wait we were there together!”#its almost as if they actually spend time hanging out😱 (dont let the police know!!4!4)#“if we were on DR now-” okay but why r u still dreaming of that miss T?🤭🤭🤭 (who could blame her)#them watching the movies the other one recommends is the closest we can get to them watching an actual thing together (outside of NF)#also im so happy T spent time w K on her bday :(((#trixie mattel#katya zamo#tbatb#the brians
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🗣️
#no i dont know how to regulate my emotions and i wanna die bc of it i hate myself#omg i just love bpd and cptsd tingzzzz#just... umm many things are happening in life rn and its all so scary and i feel so lonely and idk what will happen to me#anyway.... things are moving to an end#and it will most likely be the last summer i have w my mom#so i just asked her if we could watch strangers from hell aka my fav show together before summer ends#and i was thinking like omg we can watch it together and have dinners and stuff!!#but she was like ughhhhh no i dont really wanna do that#and now i wanna cry and die bc everybody hates me and no one wants to spend time with me and i hate living like an unlovable monster#like yeah im fkn sorry other ppl get irritated at me for being sad and lonely and crying bc no one wants to spend time w me 😭#honestly getting closer and closer to the conclusion that i SHOULD just kms bc everyone hates me#and thinks im wrong and i exist and breathe wrong and no one wants to be around me and like im fkn sorry for#other ppl damaging me and leaving me with disorders that the mental health system has never wanted to treat like#just let me fkn die i hate it here 😔
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got queerbaited into reading a book by chatgpt. is this rock bottom
#liveblogging.pdf#apparently coding isn't the only thing that thing is ass at. fetching basic information is too#i mean i Wanted to read it anyway and i knew it wasnt queer before. idk why i let chatgpt gaslight me into believing i was making it up#whatever. neither the main character nor her best friend are textually queer or in love with each other. they're both pretty boy crazy tbh#but the mc is giving big aro vibes. like she's so done with her best friend every time she starts talking about men or crushes#also her crush on this guy is giving extremely platonic im not biased i swear#she just throws herself at him because she thinks itd be cool to date her besties crushs bff#so she could feel normal like her#they do have a cute friendship though. mc and the guy. also they start dating like 2 seconds after her bff dies so it's not really romantic#also theres a very cool lesbian who gets more pagetime than the guy and whos friendship with mc is super angsty so#w#its a really good book ok i just went in with really wrong expectations#like a sapphic hiaylm#but every day i grow closer to the great truth of my life that sapphic hiaylm will never exist#and i should stop looking for it and find the beauty in things for their originality and what they are#anyway in this case the lack of sapphicness did not detract from the book at all dont get me wrong#i just found it funny
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#okay no it's not the darkness getting to me there is a real life thing occupying a lot of my brain space#and idk if there's anything to be gained by speaking it out loud into the void but at the moment it's the only thing i Can do#i don't even have to click the 'post' button if i don't want to#but yeah. yesterday got the news that my mom's husband is dying. had a surprise heart attack and he's not gonna make it#just feels super fucking weird#personally i never really liked him at all so it's not like i myself necessarily have to grieve. never was that close with him#but like. oof this is going to be hard for my mom. and i'm super worried about how she's going to survive#but there's nothing to DO about it really. she wanted to have some space to come to terms with this on her own#and she has a strong support network of friends in her city. while i'm on the other side of the country#and don't even know what i could do to help if i was closer to her. i just. like. what can you even do in a situation like this?#just feels weird to Not do anything when i know how huge of an impact this will make for her entire life#she'll probably have to move to a different place too#and there are people there to help her. people with more life experience. people who probably know more about grief than i do#i just. i have no idea how one handles something like this. except for being there for her when asked#do eldest daughters have some sort of universal responsibilities that i'm just not aware of?#it feels kinda horrible how this is constantly circling back to what can *I* do and what must *I* do. how *I* feel#i'd never ever ever make things this much about me in any other setting than my own tumblr blog. in a tag whisper i'm not sure i'll post#but yeah all of this is eating my brain in a very weird way. an odd sort of limbo where it feels like there should be something here#it'd certainly be easier if i had any sort of relationship with the dead person myself. if i had something to grieve myself#now there's just a feeling that something Should be here to feel. and the knowledge of how hard this must be for my mom#ahhhhh idk none of this makes any sense i'm just speaking in circles and everything feels bad#it's bad and horrible and i don't know how to process any of this and i'm stuck in my brain and can't DO anything#there's nothing i can do to help my mom at this exact moment when she wants to be left alone with her thoughts#and i can't do anything else either because all of this feels like a heavy black cloud fogging up my brain#can't concentrate on anything at all today#not fun. not cool#sussitalk
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wanted to do a styling based on uni's design for 종이비행기 파일럿(paper plane pilot) because surely. a design as simple as this is easy to do in a game so full of pretty clothes. and thus began the hell of trying to find anything that could feasibly pass as part of this outfit (how is it that the icon for tops fits better than anything I could find in tops. why is a short sleeve button up with neck tie so hard to find here)
#shining nikki#vocaloid#honestly this drove me nuts#i wish more normal tops (ie not part of a set) were dyeable#i could probably have swung like the sailor suit type models if i could DYE any of them#this top was really close to what i needed the only problems were the color (undyeable) and no necktie(augh)#i ended up dyeing lilith vod necktie but even then i couldnt dye out the reflective patterns#so dont look too close.#also all the bows that matched the original outfit more were also! surprise! undyeable#or they wouldn't snap to the base of the ponytail#so magician's assistant it is. god bless magician's assistant for once#also every pink but nikki pink was too strong to dye with the two tone dyes so i couldnt get the blue swirls in her hair#ALSO wish i could dye more gloves but ALAS i guess. shes gonna have to have dark gloves for now#anyway thats enough commiserating. everyone listen to paper plane pilot? for me? please its such a cute song#also fun fact i own this top in a pinky shade in cn server but not in the blue shade? the blue's a little closer so i stuck with that one#but if i had it in blue over there id have done it in cn because the most recent nikki birthday suit has a paper airplane handheld#now if only. i could dye it. so it could be green like the mv has .#my stuff(kinda)#idk if i want this in that tag since i didnt really do much and the stuff over there took way more time than this did LOL#all the power to everyone who does stylings like this on a regular basis it Could Not Be Me
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