#idk thought about this concept for a while

[genderkoolaid]

i'm venting, so feel free to ignore this- idk how to explain what i mean all that well so forgive me if this is a Mess. I'm really tired of people telling me to just keep living out of spite. Or that I have to keep living because me 'living' is a act of resistance. It just makes me feel so tired. and Mad. I lack the words to really explain it but i just. Why do I have to keep going on spite? Why does my existence have to be a act of resistance or be politicized? I don't want to keep Living out of spite or because people say i have to. I think its mostly because I'm just exhausted and I think I'm burned out and Tired of being told i need to survive off of spite, or being told i just need to keep going because i have to. sorry for dumping this in ur ask. stuff is just hard n idk if you or anyone else gets what i mean.

This is a very understandable way to feel! I'm also not super into "living out of spite" myself. I'm glad it works for many people (being alive is good!), but it can get tiring when that is the dominant advice you are receiving and you know it's not gonna work for you. Idk if this is part of your experience but I know as a chronically suicidal person, it can also get exhausting constantly being reminded (sometimes in ways that feel condescending) that you are expected to want to live and if you don't want to live, that's Bad and you must Correct Yourself.

If you want an alternative perspective to chew on, here's my personal outlook:

Having the chance to be alive is good. Being alive is a complex experience, but one that enriches the universe, and that matters a lot to me spiritually. There is only one you, with your unique body and experiences and thoughts and choices. Death is inevitable, so when possible we should try to spend as much time as we can living our lives, adding to the cosmos, trying our bests to have a good time.

Its a fucked up time ahead, and it's fucked up time now. Life was never going to be free of suffering, and it's a pointless tragedy that people cause all this extra suffering on top it.

But the time will pass anyways. We have the chance to be alive right now, and all we can do is keep going. It's not an act of resistance, it's just accepting the presence of your right to existence, and making us of it.

Gonna once again reference Alexandre Baril's concept of suicidism (the oppression of suicidal people) and mention that while I think it's very respectable to try and give people reasons not to die– it's the last decision you can ever make, and it shouldn't be done lightly– oftentimes people end up reinforcing the idea of people who died by their own choice as, in some way, failures. I don't think this is fair. I'm not going to begrudge anyone the choice of when they want to stop living. I don't think anyone is obligated to live until they are forced to stop. I don't think any oppressed person who had died by suicide has "let their oppressors win."

Give yourself space to feel however you need to about your life. It's alright to feel tired of living; that's entirely understandable. Your relationship with your life is your own and it does not need to be justified to anyone.

[the-family-business-83]

Unexpected Calling – Part 2

Part 1 | Part 3 | Masterlist

Fandom: Marvel

Prompt: A world class contract killer finds an envelope at his dead drop. Inside are $23.42 in short change and a letter handwritten by a 9-year old girl.

Type: Series

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader's daughter (platonic obviously), Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Genre: fluff, action, slight angst, might get smutty but idk yet

Warnings: None for this chapter, it's really all fluff. Maybe a slight disclaimer about a lil kid interacting with a total stranger and some mom panic, but nothing bad happens!

Word count: 2.4k

Send me an ask to let me know if you wanna be added to/removed from the taglist!!

A/N: Trying to let myself just enjoy wirting and not overthink it all too much, so I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's a little bit of filler but I thought it was cute and it was fun to write. And yes, I know, it took forever to get posted. I had a lot going on, and I still may not be posting super frequently but to those of you who love this series so far, rest assured: I will still post, even if it's slow.

Any and all mistakes are my own as this chapter is unbeta'd, I did all my own editing/proofreading for this.

Text dividers made by @firefly-graphics <3

Transportation had really come a long way from what he'd been so used to when he was younger. There were planes that's the air of the skies with their quiet rumblings, helicopters that you could hear coming long before they appeared, and cars. Cars were so different these days, he'd gotten used to them but it just wasn't the same. Some part of him still couldn't wrap his mind around the concept of phones being able to connect to the car. And that was just one of many new upgrades.

But Bucky didn't take his trip by air, customs were a bitch to get through on a normal day let alone when he needed to bring weapons with him. He didn't take a train either, because–well. He'd had an uneasy feeling with them ever since 1944 when he fell down the mountainside. So, instead he went by cross-country bus, and kept to himself in his seat once he got on and found one near the back where it was mostly empty. Being perfectly on time, if not a little early, there were a fewhandfuls people that he watched enter in the time that he waited for the bus to start moving. His watchful eye kept them in sight here and there but for the most part, he simply pulled his dark red baseball cap down a little lower and looked out the window to help hide his face. He could only hope that when one passenger entered with not one, not two; but three small children, that they wouldn't be very loud.

Oh how very wrong he had been. Not even 20 minutes into the trip and two of the rugrats were already whining and fighting with each other. Bucky could only stare at them in distaste as he blinked at the sight, wondering how in the world such tiny things could make so much noise. Granted, he'd never really had to deal with children, not like this anyway. And they couldn't have been any older than 3 or 5, each of them. The oldest of the three seemed to be perfectly fine and well-occupied, thank heavens but that didn't make it any more desirable

Sucking a deep breath in, Bucky suppressed the urge to ask the clearly struggling mother to turn off the screeching, and pulled out a book from his day-pack, beginning to flip through it to find his spot. Maybe if he just pretended they weren't there, they would disappear from his mind.

Not likely, but the effort was still made as he focused on the pages of the small paperback copy of The Hobbit he'd brought with him. Glancing up when it once again wasn't working well, he was caught by surprise when suddenly the older child was standing right there by his seat row, and admittedly he tensed in reaction as a sort of mini-flinch. She hadn't said a word, he hadn't even heard her walking over. But there she was, standing with her stuffed bunny in her arms, simply staring at him while he did the same. Both were quiet for a long moment before Bucky glanced up the way towards where her mother sat with her brothers, clearing his throat. "Can I…help you?" He asked a bit awkwardly as he brought his furrowed-brow gaze back to the little girl. Once more, she didn't really say anything, instead just looking him over quietly. Then, she climbed herself up into the seat next to his since it was open, and Bucky was starting to wish he'd put one of his bags there. "Hey, look, kid- your mom- ….what are you doing?"

She shrugged as he stumbled his words out, and glanced down at her bunny fiddling with it a little as she got settled in the seat. "Too loud." Her answer came simply, and while it didn't answer his question completely, he definitely understood the feeling.

Sighing slightly, he glanced towards her troubled mother once more, and then back to bunny-girl. "...Alright, what's your name kid?"

"Mandy." She replied quietly, glancing up at him a moment later with big green eyes. "What's yours mister?"

"Bucky. My name's Bucky." The man paused for a moment then, almost as if debating whether he should send her back to her family yet or not, but she was calm and quiet, and wasn't harming anything. And it wasn't like he was going to let anything happen to a little kid, so he dismissed the idea for now and instead went back to his book.

It was a minute or so later that he felt the little girl–Mandy, he reminded himself silently–leaning over the arm rest between them slightly to see what he was reading. Brows knitting once again, Bucky glanced from the pages to the young girl, whose curly pigtails somewhat bounced in the way of his view of the words. His mouth parted a fraction, ready to let something slip off his tongue to tell her to sit back and let him read. But nothing came. He didn't know how to tell the girl to get out of his space without, well… being a dick. This was a *child* it would have been different had it been an adult. So instead he simply blinked at her in silence as he debated how to handle it.

Mandy seemed to sense he was looking at her though, because then she met his gaze and inched back into place in her seat, curling around her stuffed, yellow bunny, the apology clear in her demeanor. "I just wanted to see your story." She muttered out, albeit the words likely came out a tad muffled because her bunny's head was pressed against her mouth slightly.

Kids. There was something about them that just- got to him. Admittedly, maybe some part of him had a soft spot. One that he'd probably always had, an instinct he'd never been able to shake. And maybe there was something about that moment that reminded him of the slightly younger girl that he'd been on his way to help, that made him realize he was already traveling across the states to investigate the disappearance of some kid's mother. A small gesture really couldn't hurt him. He may not have said anything, but he did nod, and as he brought his crisp blue hues back to the book in his hands, he started reading the words out to her, quietly but still loud enough to be heard against her brothers' tantrums.

Whatever she'd been expecting, Mandy seemed delightfully surprised when he began reading to her, and her eyes lit up as she looked from him to the book, leaning over once again but this time while staying back more in her seat meaning her head rested against his arm lightly, so that he could still see but she couldn't help wanting to peek. There was something about how trusting she was, about how trusting kids often seemed to be, that just genuinely baffled him. Maybe it was because he'd been so jaded for so long that it was just a mind boggling concept to see such innocence. Or maybe it simply was a brilliant anomaly that children lacked the cynicism of their parents and the adults around them, that they saw things grown-ups didn't and thought of things that were unique to them.

Bucky didn't know when the crying and whining had stopped, but eventually the sun went down around them and it was dark in the bus, nothing but the glow-in-the-dark caution stickers and the light of the full moon to let him read the words on the pages. And just as he'd glanced over towards the little girl next to him, seeing that she was well on her way to passing out completely, he heard her mother patter over looking both exhausted and annoyed. "Mandy- for God's sake, you cannot-" only then did the woman seem to register that her daughter was half asleep, not really hearing her mother much and so all that Mandy gave in response was a tired hum as she nuzzled against Bucky's arm a little more.

Well, shit. He may not be experienced with children but he knew enough to know that if he moved she might wake up. And frankly he didn't even know if she'd let him move. Glancing up towards the mother, he offered an apologetic smile. "Didn't mean to scare you…she just kind of walked on over and climbed up. Seemed like you had your hands full so I hope it's okay I kept her busy for you?" He whispered to her, stopping her before she could rage at him–if that was what she'd been about to do, that is. She looked tired, and scared, understandably so. And most of all she looked ashamed that she hadn't even noticed her daughter leave.

"O-oh…thank you, I- I mean, I'm sorry if she caused you any trouble, I just- yeah…those boys…sorry they were so loud, they're in that phase…" she apologized sheepishly in hushed tones of her own, rubbing her palms against the fronts of her jeans as her gaze flicked between her daughter and the quiet stranger of a man. "I passed out and then I…I woke up and she was gone, I'm so sorry sir."

"Not a problem, honestly. She's pretty decent company, let me read in peace with her." Reading that nervousness on the woman’s features, he paused for a moment before shrugging his free shoulder up. "Don't sweat it, I shoulda sent her back…I was going to, believe me but uh. Well, at least now you get a break, right?" He tried to ease her nerves, but then glanced down towards Mandy. "I can carry her back to your seat if you'd like."

He was just so damned kind, she thought. A complete stranger and yet her daughter was clearly safe and well, asleep even and yes, now everything was quiet and she had some time to relax. It didn't stop her mom-dar from going off, but at the very least she'd be a fool to not appreciate his kindness. "No, no it's… it's okay, I don't want to wake her, she's a bit of a light sleeper…just uh, if she wakes up let me know. I'm Erin, by the way…in case that helps." This time it was her turn to offer a kind smile.

"Bucky. Nice to meet you…I'll keep it in mind, hopefully she lets you have a break though." He chuffed an amused breath out his nose.

Doing the same, she shook her head. "Yeah, if only. Thanks, again…I'll let you uh. Read in peace." She teased lightly, taking a hand back through her hair as she went back to her seat before the driver could reprimand her for standing up so long.

Smiling in amusement at that, he watched Erin go back to her sons, and in turn went back to his book after a moment. It was the small things, that made life easier. The small things were what really made things worth it. Sure, saving the world and saving people was big, and it was good. And it was worth it. But sometimes it was moments where he managed to do something more mundane, and helped someone else, that made all the other shit worth it. Because it meant he was still capable of being human.

———

By the time the sun was back up, Bucky rose with it, his eyes slowly opening to the light streaming through the window and he groaned quietly at the crick in his neck from how he'd slept. Running his flesh hand over his face groggily, as he glanced around he noticed that the warmth that had been leaned up against his arm the night day before was no longer there. He would have been concerned, thinking he'd now somehow lost some stranger's child, but he saw the pigtail-bearing girl peeking up over her seat at him a moment later, watching her smile appear once more as she gave him a little wave. Crisis averted. Not like there was anywhere she could really go on a bus, but still.

Despite still being a bit plagued by morning sleepiness, he smiled back and gave the girl a small wave of his own before watching her sink back into her seat properly. Probably at the urging of her mother. His sleepiness didn't last long, though, because soon those boys were back to making noise, but at least it wasn't as much of a headache as yesterday because it was merely them playing and babbling about random things. That was tolerable. And so he relaxed a bit more, rolling out his neck some before he picked up his book again and went on reading.

Somewhere along the way, the lone mother with her trio of children had reached their stop and were gathering their things to leave. It was Mandy who escaped her mother's sight once again to go see the kind man at the back of the bus who had read to her, bunny still in her arms but this time with a warm smile in place. "Hi Mr. Bucky! Mommy said I shouldn't bother you again… but I just wanted to say I liked your story and you're very nice." She didn't give him time to process all of that before she climbed up in the same seat as before, and kissed his cheek for a moment before hearing her mother call her name.

"You're welcome, Mandy. I think your mom needs you though, better get going." He encouraged even as he seemed surprised by her display of affectionate gratitude. The little girl wiggled back down from the seat then, but not without turning to wave at him, walking backwards to do so. "Bye Mr. Bucky!" She rushed the words out before running along to catch up to her mother. Watching her run along, he smiled at her little goodbye, and waved back at her as she went on her way. He wished that woman luck with her undoubtedly trouble-filled journey, honestly. Because he had his own coming up and somehow he felt like she was going to have it harder.

The rest of his ride went on rather uneventful, and when he arrived at his stop it was almost nighttime. But he was all the more closer to getting this job done, so saddling himself up with all his bags, he made his way into town and started heading for the address he'd gotten on the envelope.

Tags: @baw1066 @fluffydanger @vicmc624 @sjsmith56 @capswife @dispatchvampire @sofi1sstuff @sarbear94 @impeterporker @hhiggs @safiraish @kayden666 @saltedcoffeescotch @mcubuckyandsteve @thebuckybarnesvault @himikotoga

[acemapleeh]

So I think a fairly well accepted take on nations is that their animal companion gains the same immortality that the nation has for being in constant close proximity of them.

I propose that this also applies to clothing, furniture, paintings, homes, etc. Anything that fills their homes, their daily routines, and the same space as each other.

The degradation process is extremely slowed.

They're not indestructible but natural aging won't completely deteriorate these items held so close.

Museums are grateful for their touch of presence helps the items keep just a little longer and catch an extra gleam of youth.

In times of hardship, the items begin to show glimpses of the years that have really past.

[crystallizsch]

i had a vision last night

grim and jamil body swap what shenanigans will ensue i wonder

[ohno-the-sun]

Hmmm thinking about writing and how hard it is

I feel like for how long it takes me to write one chapter I can use that same energy to make like 10 art pieces

I’m wondering if it’s even worth it

Like I enjoy writing but it just takes so much of my time

Should I just stop and only do art?

[mufos-photo-album]

(Transcript at bottom of post.)

Every now and then when Orbit sheds a piece of its light, that light falls upon the earth. Sometimes, this light, yearning for an identity, takes "inspiration" from the environment to take on a different form. In the case of light creatures, their forms were inspired by the creatures of flesh before them — creatures like crabs and fish. From them, they inherited the ability to sexually reproduce, allowing them to evolve more quickly over time as opposed to waiting every few years for a new light creature to be born to introduce genetic variance. This is how the Ancestors came to be, primarily evolving themselves into existence.

In the case of sky kids, who currently only come into being by falling from the sky, their forms take after the Ancestors/Spirits. The two share many similarities, though one notable exception is that sky kids' "inner" light is on the outside of their body, similar to other light creatures, as opposed to being on the inside like the Ancestors. Compared to other kinds of creatures, sky kids are rarely born, as the form and intelligence of the Ancestors/Spirits is difficult to replicate compared to other creatures.

When a sky kid is successfully born, they are also born clothed, mimicking the Ancestors who also mostly had clothes on. The specifics of their appearance is influenced by the realm they were born in.

[ID: A diagram showing the possible things that can happen when light from orbit, lacking an identity, falls to the earth. The light could not take a different form, eventually dissipating and becoming a part of the earth's ambient light (and potentially becoming a roaming light). The light could become a light creature, being able to sexually reproduce once reaching maturity. Lastly, the light could become a sky child, unable to reproduce even when mature since they take after the Spirits (who also can't reproduce by virtue of being Dead).]

More on individual appearance: While the bodies of sky kids [each] have the similar features, what clothes they are born with depends on what the Spirits wore in the realm they were born in. Being a child of the Wasteland, Mufo's initial appearance was influenced by military-type Spirits.

[ID: A drawing of the Fainting Warrior and the Lookout Scout, "rather typical Wasteland denizens". Between them is a block of text reading: "Triangular chest pieces separate members of the military from citizens. The Warrior's chest piece is made of metal, while the Scout's chest piece is made of a rigid cloth. Metal face crests are also common, but only required for combative personnel like warriors."]

[ID: A drawing of Mufotsuki after falling from the sky and fully forming, being born with the physical appearance and maturity of a 9 year old. Some parts of her appearance resemble that of a typical 'moth', however she has a rudimentary face crest and triangular chest piece, mimicking Spirits like the Fainting Warrior and Lookout Scout.]

[ID: A drawing of young Mufotsuki and the Lookout Scout standing next to each other, demonstrating how fledgling light creatures' abilities to replicate other creature is good, but not perfect. They are physically similar, though Mufo's clothes are missing details compared to the Scout's.]

[lode-builds]

glass cathedral - an experiment in concepts and shapes and textures or whatever and refusing to ever ever finish the back of the build EVER

[red-velvet-0w0]

okay guys ive talked about this a bit before but hear me out:

The Lucas Institute

basicaly just a concept i had for how a Lonely-version of the Magnus institute would work

so the magnus institute works by taking peoples fear encounters and stealing that fear away to be used by the eye. but theres no reason that its the only power that would be able to do that.

So say you just had a terrible experience with some strange supernatural entity, but get approached by an offer from the Lucas Institute, who offer to help keep you safe and moniter your condition from whatever just happened to you. they hear out your story, though they dont really seem to care much about you, and if they deem that you are telling the truth, they usher you off to a room and say that you will just have to stay a night or two in here, they will moniter your condition and make sure you stay safe, and once they are certain that the threat has past, they will let you out. then they close the door.

there are no windows in this room. there is only a light that never turns off. there is a bed and a few empty shelves and all the walls are painted an all to bright white. The walls are padded so heavily that you cant hear a single noise, everything in the room is so safe that you couldnt possibly hurt yourself even if you tried, couldnt feel a single thing exept the slight discomfort from the air conditioning which never turns off and always makes sure your cell is just a BIT too cold.

By the time they release you, they say you were only in there for a few hours. so does everybody else you meet. your calendar says that it is still the same day. But it felt like an eternity in there.

[anerdynerd]

I do wonder what Jericho and generally any android that has ever worshipped/followed/looked up to Markus would react like, finding out that he has had to kill fellow dying androids and rip them of their compatible parts at the scrapyard in order to walk the Earth again

Those were difficult circumstances, so I wonder: Would they blame him? Would they not be able to see him the same again? Or do they empathize and know/think that they would do exactly the same to survive? Do they maybe even know about the whole thing already? Did someone start telling the story of how Markus came back from the dead? Or do they sense it somehow? Has he talked about it to his close friends? Does he think about it? Or was it easy for him to move on because he knows it was the only way? Is that part of why he took on this role of helping all androids? To make up for it? Or does he 100% believe that it was justified?

[stylosha]

i am a firm believer in that akasha is marius' mother figure and their relationship is intentionally meant to parallel him and his human mother

[thatonesmartkidfromschool]

shakes him aggresively

Oh yeah this cooked so hard. It's so freaking silly... like I always imagined this huge falling out between Guz and Kukui but now it's cuz of a band and not like the "grrrr you're stronger than me I hate you" drama it's amazing.

Kukui just seems like the type of guy to have been in a band in his young adulthood too, he just gives off popular vibes lolz. But like you can't introduce me to a silly au and not expect me to be begging for specifics like... what genre music do they make?? What instrument does everyone play?? Grgrhehe I must know.

Also it'd be really fcken funny if Burnet liked the band but hadn't realized Kukui was part of it, so she ends up fangirling over TWO of Kukui's stage personas

[hellaverse-critical-confessions]

(from this video)

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

I'm starting Mission to Zyxx Season 5 now, and I have feelings about that.

First, it generally scares me when people hype anything up at all because there is no guarantee that anyone values the exact same thing I do to the same degree. Even if I trust the creators of a thing to value something and try to do right by it, that doesn't always necessarily mean it will be successful, especially if that involves doing something wildly different than what made it good in the first place (I have been burned this way before). I guess I'm just hoping they continue the format of goofy improv shenanigans for the majority of it with something more planned and emotional in the finale if they want, like they've been doing all along. I'd think they would, and I've heard nothing bad about the ending, but I guess it still makes me nervous because I'm so close to the end and I want it so badly to stick the landing. I'm setting my expectations on the floor so I can be surprised instead of disappointed, but honestly, I don't need it to be better, I just need it to be on par with the rest.

Second, and more briefly, I'm happy it's (hopefully) ending before it has a chance to decline. I am so on board with that philosophy. But on the other hand, finishing a thing that I really, really like and knowing there's not another one out there gives me a special kind of heartache. Like, I know there will be other good media, and stuff that's good and unique in other ways, but I know for a fact that there are no other podcasts out there that have the same mix of a balance of off-the-wall improv and structured narrative, quality comedy, fantastical sci-fi setting and loveable characters, and high quality production. There are other things out there with many of those qualities, but nothing that checks every one of those boxes. It's a lightning-in-a-bottle thing that very much feels like the right people had to be in the right place at the right time to do it. Attempts to do it again would feel hollow because it had to be born out of necessity and passion and the talents of the people involved, so if you switch out the people it loses the reasons it's great, and if the same people tried to do it again it'd feel tired. That makes me so, so grateful it exists, but also so, so sad that it doesn't, and I'm 80% of the way done. When it's over, it's over.

Anyway. Now that that's all out there, I'm just gonna finish listening and have fun. Wish me luck.

[trans-leek-cookie]

the ending of i saw the tv glow fucked me up because in a meatphor sense she's going to spend the rest of her life in misery because she was too afraid to embrace her true self. her happy self. and in a literal sense she's LITERALLY being buried alive which is like top 100 fears of mine and the fact her inhaler stopped working which is like. the sign that she's losing oxygen kept me up at night. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAA

Ourgh yeah the burying alive is. Fucked up if real! But personally I've said before but I do see the ending as not Great but at least hopeful, I think even if she doesn't accept herself right away she's going to at least try to like, find people who can help her, because she is screaming for help at the end, even if no one responds. And that's much better than suffering in silence. At least, that's if you assume her life outside the Pink Opaque is real in some way, which tbh I do. I think even if she were to bury herself like Tara, it wouldn't perfectly put her in Isabel's body, and she wouldn't be young again. Idk I'll say that I think the world of ISTTVG is supernatural and sitting within unreality rather than full fantasy, and neither The Pink Opaque or "Real Life" is fully true. I think they blur together one way or another

[elisedonut]

One thing I like about Marcus is that he's kind of

Schrodinger's Death Eater

Like yeah he's a Slytherin

He's an asshole

But

He is never mentioned again after the third book.

Not once.

Not even a different Flint is ever mentioned

you don't even hear about like his parent being a death eater which means

You can make him one if you want

if you need him to be for the story you want to tell

Or you can choose not to if that fits better

and immediately neither of these actually go against canon

Which is really fun to me

Because you can make him and his family just literally leave the country if you want

Or maybe he is just a death eater

Or if you like me like him being close to the others that we know around his age and are also allergic to making OCs you can make him a spy with Percy

maybe they both work in the ministry and he uses the fact most people won't watch him as closely as they do Percy to get things done that need to be done. Very Percy is the brains of the operation and Marcus is the actual body of it because they both know Percy really can't step out of line too much.

But similar to how Hogwarts was during that last year of the war people just assume that as a pureblooded Slytherin Marcus is just on their side by default so don't even look twice at him

Or you know just a Quidditch boy

[indecisive-dizzy]

today I learned that my nightmares can be cool inspiration for at least one horror game

Here's this morning's concept: an Escape Room Tower, where every floor is a new puzzle. It's gimmicky with haunted house vibes. But wait that's not all!

Your friends are mysteriously disappearing and coming back as horrifically disfigured monsters! now you have to finish the puzzles and survive in order to reach the top to get to the exit! oh and the gimmicky horror vibes become,, not gimmicky. that is real gore now.