#what I wonder is... WOULD the kids try and get the band back together??? i feel like Mallow would be capable of initiating that idea

[thatonesmartkidfromschool]

shakes him aggresively

Oh yeah this cooked so hard. It's so freaking silly... like I always imagined this huge falling out between Guz and Kukui but now it's cuz of a band and not like the "grrrr you're stronger than me I hate you" drama it's amazing.

Kukui just seems like the type of guy to have been in a band in his young adulthood too, he just gives off popular vibes lolz. But like you can't introduce me to a silly au and not expect me to be begging for specifics like... what genre music do they make?? What instrument does everyone play?? Grgrhehe I must know.

Also it'd be really fcken funny if Burnet liked the band but hadn't realized Kukui was part of it, so she ends up fangirling over TWO of Kukui's stage personas

[tartarusknight]

All right the idea is that Eddie's famous but not because he's a singer. He tried it, but it didn't work out. He got a little popularity but mostly because a few people tied his music to dnd. So he stopped trying to make it with his band. Instead he shifted to doing videos. Those videos were of him and hellfire playing d&d and surprisingly it gets famous. Like critical role famous. His channel is filled with sessions, talks about his ideas he had the party deal with, what he found helpful when dming, creating different kinds of characters so it always fits you, and some music that was more bard core than heavy metal, although heavy metal did poke through at times.

The kids are all a part of it too. Some have more popular side jobs, but for the most part they're all just there to play. And hang out together, talking about shit they loved. Steve obviously gets dragged in but he doesn't play for years and years. He kind of helps them with the business aspect of it, making it into their own brand and shit. Because although he didn't want to admit it, he did have the knowledge of all that shit from his dad. He doesn't hate it when it's for his friends anyways. It's not a terrible corporate job he's just working with his friends.

So while the party, even Robin, are doing their thing, playing games and talking shit, Steve does the more behind the scene shit. And it goes really well for years. But then Eddie and Steve start dating. It's not obvious at first. People hadn't really ever even seen Steve except for random videos where he's in the background. But on Eddie's side, he isn't subtle about having a partner. It goes all over the internet and people are trying to figure out who Eddie's partner is. They all know it's a man because Eddie is out to the world. But they don't know who.

They don't even really know who runs the accounts. And that is a huge question that starts popping up for everybody. They start wondering if, maybe, the reason Eddie doesn't have any shown interest in anyone is because the person that runs the account stops that from happening. Then one day Eddie gets control of their accounts and the first ever video of Steve is posted from their account. It's of Steve with headphones on editing a video while singing out loud to a Sabrina Carpenter song, Slim Pickins. With the caption "should I be offended???" and people go crazy.

After that Steve brought into more videos usually by one of the kids instead of Eddie, who was under strict rules not to make every single video about his relationship. But the kids would still drag Steve in from where he was behind the cameras or where he was trying to figure out an issue. And everyone is feral for any sign of Steve. He quickly gains the love of most of the fan base, except for the few that have for some reason been under the belief that they would one day have a shot with Eddie. But most of the people are just happy for him and the relationship. And one day Eddie gets his own tike tok account and the first video is a behind the scenes video of Steve. He's bent over one of the chairs for their DND sessions, replacing one of the legs. Eddie just zooms in on Steve's muscles flexing as he twists the bolt back into place. And it broke their fan base for like a week

[ashwhowrites]

Just found all your wonderful angst fics and honestly I feel like there is a distinct lack of HURTS SO GOOD angst out there. So I am DE-LIGH-TED to have found you. Thank you for your words and your writing. ❤️

But I have a request because of course I do! Eddie Munson!

So: angst: 30, 32 and then fluff: 16 and angry confessions 9 (except if I may be extra needy and request that we change the her in 30 to a them? Twins. One boy and the other authors choice.)

The idea: Eddie and reader started dating at Hawkins High and about a year or two after graduating someone from a label hears the band and wants an EP recorded in an actual studio! The band travels to the nearest studio.

When Eddie returns he tells reader that his dream is coming true the label is ready to sign them and they want them to start touring this year and opening for bigger bands to get their name out.

Reader overhears Eddie talking with the label guy. Eddie wants to bring reader on the tour and label guy shuts it down and says ‘end the relationship so you can actually enjoy the fame.’ He asks if Eddie is gonna marry reader and Eddie gets nervous and says idk, reader is hurt by that. Label guy asks if they have kids and Eddie is a little too enthusiastic in saying no and he doesn’t know if he wants kids. (Insecure about what kind of dad he’d be) and label guy tells Eddie this tour will make or beak his future and he needs no distractions. And a girl back home? Distracting.

Reader is then horrified that she’ll ruin Eddie’s dream. She breaks up with him before the tour, hiding the real reason. She wants him to have his dream even if it kills hers. Eddie leaves on tour mad and heartbroken.

Reader finds out she is pregnant after Eddie leaves. The band is supposed to come back to Hawkins after a few months on tour. Eddie promised he and reader would talk more about their relationship and reader will tell him then.

The band is insanely successful on tour. Eddie doesn’t come back. Doesn’t answer calls, letters. Reader stops trying after a year.

The twins are around five when Eddie, now a known rockstar, returns to his hometown. Meet-cute of adorable twins and Eddie occurs.

You ARE the father!

Eddie and reader talk/fight. But happy ending when all is said and done, back together and a family.

Sorry this is so long but ily and your writing❤️❤️❤️

I hope this is what you wanted and thank you for requesting! I hope you enjoy it 🫶🏻 I did only pick the two you resent, thank you for that! I feel like this fic is a bit all over the place but I think I included everything you asked 🤞🏻

I just sent that long request and I’m so sorry I didn’t see the no more than two limit on the prompt list link. Please feel free to shorten those to angst 30 and fluff 16 Thank you.

"There's not a single reason I can't think of for me to let you see her. You may be her father, but I'm her everything"

"I never thought I could miss someone this much"

"Baby you will not believe what just happened!" Eddie said as he came rushing out from the backroom. He was drenched in sweat, as he finished his set with the band.

"What?" Y/N asked, she pushed back his sweaty bangs and his hands landed on her hips

"This dude from some label liked our set! He wants us to visit his studio and perform a few songs. Then if he likes it, he'll sign us!" Y/N smiled as her boyfriend's eyes were bright with happiness. His smile was so huge and his voice was loud.

"That's amazing, oh my god!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms around him and pulling him into a hug. She didn't mind the sweat, she had been with Eddie for years and grew used to it.

The next day Y/N waited in their small apartment as Eddie attended the studio. She paced through their carpet as she stared at the door. She was so nervous for him, this could be his big break. And if he didn't get it, she wasn't sure how he would handle it.

She ran to the door as she heard the lock turn, giving him no time to walk into the house when she raced out all her questions. He smiled as her mouth ran until she almost lost breath, he leaned in and pecked her lips.

"Good?" he asked, a small chuckle leaving his lips

"Yeah, sorry," she said as she took in as much air as she could. She let him through the door and waited for him to speak. He closed the door and turned to her with a smirk.

"Well?" she asked, smacking his arm as she bounced on her feet

"Want to have sex with a newly signed rockstar?" he asked, opening his arms as he knew his girlfriend too well.

"OH MY GOD!" she screamed with excitement, throwing herself in his arms. She was practically jumping in his arms. He was damn excited too, and his heart felt full of how happy she was for him. He never would have made it without her.

"And! He wants us to tour next month, open for some other bands of his to get our name out there!"

Y/N pulled back to see his face but stayed in his arms.

"Next month? For how long?" she asked. She was happy this was going to happen for him, but she was sad at how fast he would be yanked from her.

"Just a few months, less than a year. But I promise I'm not leaving you behind, okay?" she smiled at his words, nodding as she softly placed her lips on his.

"Shall we celebrate Mr. Rockstar?" she whispered against his lips, teasing him as she bit his lower lip. "In the bedroom."

"I think I wanna celebrate right here," Eddie growled, wasting no time as he smashed his lips on hers and tasted her mouth with his tongue. He pressed her body against the door and was fast to unbuckle his jeans.

~~~

A few days passed when Nick, the label guy, showed up at their apartment. Y/N left Eddie with a kiss and headed to their bedroom as the band talked. The walls were thin so she could hear the conversation, but still wanted to feel as she gave them privacy.

They talked about the basics of everything and Y/N tried not to listen in too much. But once she heard the band leave and her name was brought up, she couldn't help but listen in.

"I want to do this tour, and I know the band wants it. But my girl is here, she and I haven't been separated in years. She is in full support and I want her to come with," Eddie explained. Y/N smiled at his words, her heart beaming with love.

"Does she have a ring on her finger?" Nick asked, Y/N couldn't see his face but he sounded annoyed.

"Well no but-"

"Are you going to put a ring on her finger anytime soon?"

Y/N held her breath as she waited for Eddie's response

Eddie stuttered as his throat felt dry, "Well..I..I don't know." he chuckled uncomfortably

Well that hurt, Y/N thought. They had been together for over three years and he had no time frame of when he wanted to get engaged? Was he even thinking of a ring?

"Got any kids with her?" Nick asked

"Hell no," Eddie laughed, "Pretty sure I don't even want any."

Y/N felt her heart snap into two. This whole time she thought they were dreaming of the same future. She wanted a ring and kids with Eddie, and it hurt like hell that he was on a different page.

"Son, you are about to go on a world tour. You are going to be in a different state every night. Let the girl go and enjoy the fame. This is your first and only chance to make something of yourself. You don't want distractions. She's a chick, and chicks bring drama. You pick Eddie."

Y/N blinked away tears as the front door slammed shut. She was quick to jump in bed when she heard Eddie begin walking to the room.

~

Y/N was up all night as she repeated Nick's words in her head. She couldn't make Eddie choose between his dream and her. She could feel how tense his body was as he slept, Nick's words weighing him down too.

She knew Eddie loved her too much to break up with her, and he wouldn't break his promise of not leaving her behind. But he needed to go, he needed this for his career. She loved him strong enough to let him go without her.

~~~

"Eddie? Can we talk?"

Eddie looked up from his guitar, brown eyes worried. "What's wrong?" He was quick to grab her hand and pull her between his legs. He sat on the bed and she stood before him, tears in her eyes.

"You know how we talked about me staying here while you go on tour?"

"Yeah, but only because of Nick. If I could have it my way, you'd be right there," he said with a smile as he softly rubbed her hand.

She hated how sweet he was, it was making this all much harder.

"I'm a little worried about us being separated that long," she said

"Trust me, I'm coming home to you and none of my feelings are going to change just because of the distance" he tried to reassure her. He knew Y/N was the love of his life and he'd never ruin what they had.

"What if things on the road change your beliefs? You know, what if..." She slowly trailed off.

"What if, what?" He asked, confused as he looked in her eyes for answers.

"What if you meet someone else? There's going to be a lot of girls throwing themselves at you"

"They can throw themselves at me as much as they want, they'd never make me forget about you. I love you and I'd never ruin what we have for a random girl on the road," he explained

"I don't know if I can believe you," she lied, "what if you get in trouble with drugs? And you can't stop and fall addicted? You have many addicts in your family and one weak moment, you might find a girl to make it feel better," she could see her words were starting to take effect on him. His eyes gloss over with anger, but that's what she needed. He didn't need her holding him back and being a distraction.

"Wow," he scoffed, standing up. "I haven't touched any other drug except weed my whole life. And you think I'm that stupid that I'd dive right into hard core shit just because I'm on tour? I can get the same shit down the block!" He argued.

"Have you ever been tempted?" She asked

"Fuck no, but you probably wouldn't believe that either," he said as he rolled his eyes. "I mean we've been together for years, I understand this is a big change for us, but why do you suddenly think I won't have any self control?"

Because I'm making all of this up so you'll leave pissed off and I won't be a distraction, she thought.

She was silent and Eddie felt himself growing angier by it.

"Because I won't be there!"

"Oh now the truth comes out. You don't think I can say no. You think a slutty girl will jump on my lap and you think I'll just love it and fuck her. Then she'll bring me to a party with hard drugs and before I know it I'm snorting drugs off her body." He laughed, but it had no humor behind it. She knew she was hurting him but that meant everything was working.

"If you really think that I would cheat on you, then maybe we weren't as strong as I thought" he added, his voice a little sad as he sat back down.

"I think it's best if we take a break while you're on tour. And you can do whatever you want on it, and we'll talk when you come back."

Eddie nodded at her words. He didn't agree with anything but he wasn't going to try to change her mind. She had this view of him and he couldn't fix it.

~~~

The first few weeks with Eddie gone was hell. Y/N cried every morning and every night. She was in so much pain and hated she couldn't reach for him. She wanted to call and tell him the truth, that everything was a lie and she did it so he could be happy. But the suffering was becoming too much and she just wanted to be with him again, in his arms and in his heart. She couldn't forget the broken look in his eye when he left, the loudness of the door as it slammed.

She found out she was pregnant, adding more guilt to her life. He was supposed to come home at the end of the month, and he promised before he left that they would talk about their relationship. He didn't want to give up on them and she believed that.

But then the end of the month came and she hadn't heard a word. Her calls went unanswered and his body never walked through the front door. She wanted to tell him she was pregnant when she saw him in person again but she wasn't sure went that would be. She didn't know if he was in town or where he ended up, all she knew was that he wasn't coming back to her right now. She kept calling and wrote letters to his management, but no response.

She waited and waited, maybe the tour added more dates. They were broken up so she didn't expect him to update her on everything but she wished he'd answer at least one call.

She called every day for a year, and never once did her phone ring back.

~~~

Five years passed and she gave up on Eddie, she gave up years ago when he refused to come back to her. She figured she caused too much pain and broke his heart so he moved on. The thought killed her but him being happy was all she wanted in life.

It turned out she was pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl. They reminded her of Eddie, some days it made her happy, and other days it killed her. They didn't know a life with a dad so she never spoke to them about it, and they never asked. To them just having mom was normal and she didn't want to disturb that. Because she honestly didn't think she'd ever see Eddie again.

"Christopher, you need to stop running!" Y/N scolded as she pushed Beverly on the swing set. The boy laughed as he ran faster, his curls bouncing with every step.

She groaned as she gave Beverly another push and then ran after him.

Once she caught him, she got them ready in the car. She loved her kids but damn they were so energetic, and she knew who they got it from.

They looked alike in ways, the same brown curly hair, Beverly's was longer. Same eyes and the same sass.

She sighed in relief when she pulled up to the house, ready to put them in a room and have time to herself. But her stomach turned when a black SUV was parked in the driveway.

"Momma, who's that?" Christopher asked, his curious eyes settled on the car. The windows were dark and they couldn't see in it.

"I don't know. I'll go check, stay here." She said, she got out of the car and walked over to the car. Before she could walk up to knock on the driver's window, the back door opened. She froze in her spot.

Eddie exited out of the car, hair tied up in a bun but a few curls loose on his forehead. He had many more tattoos, his arms covered in ink until it disappeared under his short sleeve. He wore sunglasses, which she was thankful for. She feared if she could see his eyes she'd melt in a puddle.

"Hi stranger, can we talk?"

His voice sent shivers down her spine. She's only heard it on the radio, either his songs or an interview. She never had the heart to turn it, always wondering if he was happy. If chasing him away was the right decision.

"I...I... Eddie...I" she stuttered, completely in shock as he stood in front of her. He was real, and he was here, after five long years. "I can't right now, but tonight? I can meet you somewhere." She said, her eyes looking back to her car and then to him.

He looked at her car and looked back, he couldn't see inside but he knew there was someone she didn't want him to see. He figured it was a new boyfriend or something, he couldn't help but look down at her hand. Relief in his stomach when he didn't see a ring. She must have not lived alone, he suspected since she didn't want him inside.

"Sure, had to get a new number so here," he said as he handed her a piece of paper. "Text me when and where and I'll be there."

She smiled as she took the piece of paper, hoping she was covering how much anxiety she had.

"You look incredible, by the way." He said as he got in the car. She watched as the door slammed and the car backed out of the driveway.

~

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Steve asked. Steve was one of her best friends from high school and he knew the truth about everything. He was the godfather to her kids and he spoiled the crap out of them. But he was also her rock, she couldn't imagine doing everything on her own.

"It's just dinner, Steve," she said as she tore apart her closet.

"Just dinner?" He chuckled, "Then why did you take half an hour in the shower, and now tearing apart your closet for something sexy to wear?" He asked, a smirk on his face as she froze.

She coughed and yanked the dress off the hanger. "I don't know what you're talking about"

Steve laughed as her bathroom door closed. "I suppose I'll take the kids and leave!"

"I'll call you when I'm on my way to pick them up!" She said through the door

~

Y/N felt like she was going on a first date all over again. Her stomach was filled with butterflies, but all the fluttering made her feel like she was going to be sick.

She knew Eddie, but she didn't know this new version of him. She didn't know the Rockstar and the man with all the fame.

She wasn't sure why he wanted to talk. It has been five years and she accepted he'd never come back to her. But now he was but for what? Did he want to get back together? Even though they haven't talked in five years. Did he want to rub it in her face that he made it big without her? Thank her for being the reason he left in the first place?

She swallowed nervously as she walked into the small restaurant, the lights were dim creating a romantic atmosphere. Eddie was already at a table, sipping on a beer.

"Sorry, hope you weren't waiting long," she said as she took a seat.

He perked up in his seat, "No I just got here, you're fine." He said with a smile. She forgot how calm she felt near him, seeing his smile and eyes made all her anxiety melt away.

"I told you she would show up!" The young waiter said as he patted Eddie on the back. Eddie gave the waiter a side eye as his face blushed. "At least you only had to wait half an hour, a guy last night waited two full hours before he gave up." The waiter laughed.

Y/N and Eddie were quick to order another drink and send him on his way. Eddie wanted to smack his head against the table once he left.

"Thirty minutes? Thought you just got here," she teased, laughing softly.

"Little white lie," he chuckled

They laughed until it died in silence. They stared silently at each other, memorizing each other's faces.

"That's a beautiful dress," Eddie said. A nervous cough followed and he took a swig of his beer. She made him nervous, he felt like he was meeting her for the first time all over again. Everything he said or did tonight had to impress her. Almost like he had to win her over.

"Oh thank you," she said as she pushed down the material on her thighs. "You look good, and the new tattoos are incredible." She complimented, itching to push up his sleeve and see how far up the tattoos went. She wondered if he had any more in other places, and how many different women got to see them, feel them, and trace them. She used to trace his ink after sex all the time, and her stomach felt unsettled thinking about all the other women who touched his new ink before she had the chance. She never thought she'd share his body with anyone new, it was hers for life, at least it used to be.

"Thank you," he said. He was guilty of thinking the same thing she was. He wanted to reach over the table and run her fingers up and down his arm. He craved to feel her soft touch on his skin, tracing the shapes and planting wet kisses on his neck. He shivered at the memories that played through his head.

"How was, uh tour?" She asked. She knew bringing it up would make them uncomfortable, and she was right. The second tour left her lips, and both of their bodies went stiff.

"It was great," he said, unable to look in her eyes as he traced the top of his glass. "Touring for five years seems crazy now, but once I started I didn't want to stop."

She felt his words hit her like a blow, but he got his dream.

"I'm really glad it worked out and you guys got to tour for many more years." She meant it. Even though the space between them killed her, she couldn't have been more proud of him.

"Yeah, but I'm back in town for good. And I know when I left things weren't right between us. I don't know if you are seeing someone or anything, but I came back to you for a reason," he explained. He played with his rings, showing her he was just as nervous about this conversation as she was.

"What's the reason, Eddie?" She asked, but she had a good feeling about what he was going to say. And if he did say it, she was going to get pissed.

"I miss you and I miss us. I thought if I kept the tour going, I'd never have to face how shitty everything was without you."

"Do you remember when you promised me we'd talk about it when you came back? As in years ago? I was waiting for you. I was waiting like a god damn idiot. You miss me? Well, screw you." She spat, already planning to stand up but he was quick to grab her hand and pull her back down.

"I know! Okay, I know. I was pissed off when I left and hurt that you believed I would ever cheat on you. I was angry and each time I performed I got more angry. I was singing about a girl that didn't trust me to not fuck up without her there. It fucked with my head and I started to wish I hated you, and that broke my heart." He explained, "Then you'd call and all I wanted to do was answer and tell you how bad you fucked with my head. That this tour was supposed to be everything to me and I hated every second of it because all I could think about was if you were trusting me or not." Eddie ranted, trying his best to stay calm.

"If you were so mad at me that you wanted to hate me, why didn't you at least try to talk to me?"

"You broke up with me, I didn't want to talk to you. Is that so wrong of me?" Eddie asked

"I mean no, but at least one phone call would have been nice. Even if you told me to fuck off and never talk to you again, at least it would have told me where we stood. I waited for you to come home and you didn't bother to tell me you changed your mind. You talked about not changing, but you did change. You broke a promise, and you never break those." She argued, taking deep breaths as she felt the need to cry.

"I'm sorry that I never communicated. I was at these parties and girls were throwing themselves at me, just like you said. I didn't want any of them, never even blinked in their direction. I wanted to prove that I could be someone you could trust. And then I thought I shouldn't have to prove that to you because I've been loyal since the day we got together. What you said wasn't fair. I'm being as honest as I can. You broke my heart and I wanted to hurt you." He felt bad for saying it but he never told her how much pain she caused him.

"Everything you felt was valid. I did ask for a break and I put us in that situation. I'm really sorry for hurting you. But I can explain why," she sighed

"I didn't want to break up or anything. I wanted to stay together, no matter how long you would be gone. I love you, Eddie and that never changed. But I was scared that if you stayed with me, you'd regret it."

"Baby, why would I ever regret you?" His voice sounded sad. She sniffled back tears and continued.

"I overheard you and Nick talking. I was fine with staying back and letting you go alone. Nick didn't want distractions and that was fine. But Eddie asked about marriage and kids. He asked you what future you planned to have with me, and you didn't have an answer. You laughed at the idea and that hurt. I couldn't put myself through long distance, waiting for you to come home, when you weren't even sure if I was the one for life. I lied and made all of that shit up so you would want to leave me. And so you could go on the tour without our distance dragging you down. And I think I also did it to protect myself. Because if I waited for you and you came back with a change of heart, I wouldn't ever recover."

"I do want to marry you, I've always wanted that. He wanted a time frame and I panicked. I knew I'd marry you, but I had no idea how soon it would be. I know I waited long and you're completely valid to protect yourself. Putting a date on it scared me and I'm sorry that I didn't handle it well. And for the kids," Y/N felt her body stiffen. She felt like she was holding her breath, terrified of what he'd say. "I'm scared too. I don't know if I have what it takes to be a dad. You are perfect and always perfect at everything. I think I could be a good husband to you, but I don't think I'd keep up to be a good dad like you would be as a mom. I'm scared to fail you." He confessed, his eyes turning red as tears slipped down his cheek. The tip of his nose was red as more tears fell.

"What about now? It's been five years. Was all that time away enough for you to commit to me like that?" She asked

"I thought about you the whole time and once I got my head out of my ass I went straight to you. I haven't seen anyone, family or friends. I got off the plane and headed to you. I've been mad at you but realized that never took away any of my love for you. There was never a girl that could make me forget about you. I want you and I'd marry you right now at the courthouse if you asked me to." And he meant it.

"We both hurt each other, and both said things we didn't mean. We've matured and grown up a little more. I think we can start on a clean slate?" Y/N asked, reaching over to offer her hand

Eddie smiled and shook it, a clean slate.

~~~

A few weeks passed since Eddie and Y/N talked. They agreed to just start as friends, and not jump into anything. Y/N wanted to get back together but she knew it would get complicated once her kids were involved.

She didn't have a plan to introduce them, and that backfired.

Eddie showed up unannounced at the house, he still had his key and he walked right in.

Y/N was giving Beverly a bath, music playing from the small speaker on the counter. Y/N laughed as Beverly blew bubbles around the room. Christopher was in his room, loudly banging trucks together. Everyone was unaware of Eddie walking through the house.

Eddie couldn't help but look at how much their home changed. It was clear children lived here, from the small plates, cups, and toys on the floor. The pictures on the wall caught his attention, his eyes glued to the photographs.

She had a family, she had two small kids. The beauty of all three of them took Eddie's breath away. She had a boy and girl on each side of her, and both kids had dark curly hair. He gulped, the kids looked identical to him.

Eddie heard laughing coming from the bathroom, and he followed the sound. He walked down that hallway a thousand times and never pictured he'd hear a little girl's laugh coming from it. He softly pushed the cracked door open.

His heart warmed at the sight, he knew Y/N would be a good mother but seeing it was something else. The way she smiled so big and the pure joy on her face, it killed Eddie to know how much he missed out.

Eddie coughed to get her attention

"Eddie?" she gasped in shock

"Can we talk?" He asked, his eyes looking to the small girl in the tub

~

"A clean slate and you didn't bother to tell me I had two fucking kids?" Eddie hissed, keeping his voice low as both kids were settled in the bedroom.

"A clean slate for us, my kids have nothing to do with you," Y/N fought back

"Nothing to do with me? I'm their father!"

"No, you're not! You helped me make them, sure. But your name is not on the birth certificate, they don't know you, and they don't have your last name. I'm sorry but there's not a single reason I can't think of for me to let you see them. You may be their father, but I'm their everything" Y/N said, trying to keep her emotions in check.

"That's not fair, I never got a chance," he argued

"You did! Do you think I called you for a whole year just because I was clingy? All you had to do was answer the fucking phone or better yet, showed up when you said you would." She spat, her voice filled with anger as she shoved past him.

He followed her into the bedroom, closing the door.

"You could have left a message!"

He stepped back when she pushed a finger against his chest and went head to head-with him.

"Listen, you don't get to make this my fault. I called, I tried, and I sure as hell did my fucking part" she hissed through her clenched teeth.

Eddie knew he was in the wrong so he backed down, he gently grabbed the finger on his chest and brought it down to her side. He held her hand and spoke softly,

"You're right. You tried and It's all on me that I never picked up. I understand why I don't have a place. But I'm here now, and I want to be here. I want to be a family."

Y/N turned her head away as she blinked away tears, she could feel her walls breaking down. He touched her cheek and turned her head to face him.

"I know you are their everything, but I want to help you. Let me be their dad, please," he begged, he slowly leaned in, "You've always been everything to me, and I want them to be everything to me too. We can be a family, I'm not going anywhere."

She cried as she leaned in as well, "I want to be a family too"

"Can I kiss you?" he whispered

She nodded and leaned in, she moaned as she felt his lips on hers again. His soft touch on her skin and the desperation of his kiss made her stomach flutter.

He pulled away slowly, his eyes locked on hers

"I never thought I could miss someone this much" he whispered before he leaned in again.

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt @ineedmentalhelp123

[belovedivies]

Author🙏,

May you show some benevolence to us peasants and give us some crumbs about our albino, Alipede✨

terminal ft. alipede

a/n: i adore yandere alipede with every fiber of my being. cw: yandere content, spoiler for johan’s past, mention of bullying, possessive and obsessive behaviors, manipulation, violent tendencies, implied parentification on reader's part, trashy adults made trashy decisions, injury, codependency (oops). wc: 2.67k ao3 link! m.list

This far into the countryside, you stopped caring what day it was. Every sunrise had the same rooster crowing behind the mountains and every nightfall sounded the same container trucker honking on a distant highway just as you were about to doze off. The same off-brand chips in every local diner, the same celebrity whose life people tended to gossip about.

You wanted to say again, with conviction, that you weren’t miserable. There was no better fate to be bestowed upon. Maybe in another universe where your dad hadn’t left and your mom cared a bit more, you might have had the chance to act your age. Picked up a new hobby or two. Learned a sport. Went to summer camps. Fell in love. 

Then again, maybe the caregiver role you took on during this three-month break was inevitable. The boarding school your mom worked at was so low on staff that you had to practically live there to play the part of a nanny. Keeping tabs on the kids. Making sure they take their study seriously. Breaking off fights in the hallway. On days when the tension was heavy and the lump in your throat had been too uncomfortable to ignore, you only knew how to smile and suck it up. Sending them away with a pat on the back. 

The reminder persisted: they would always have you to count on, and you only had yourself.

Away from the crowds but never in the corner, Alipede was a strange one. Obedient to his own torment yet glimmering under the unfeeling façade was a rare defiance. He never fought back, never complained. You wondered if he had simply given up. If he had just taken everything with a grant of salt like you did once upon a time. Still, you admired Alipede. And nothing ever stopped you to try and do your best by the poor boy: slipped in extra bread, chastised his bullies, cleaned the dirt on his desk. 

You stared at him like a hawk from the other side of the room. Many times a day, he might have stared back.

—

One noon, Alipede tripped over a tree root outside and scraped his knees. It was midday when the sun was at its highest, and specifically a day so boiling hot that the heat had felt like it was raking red sharp nails down your sweat-soaked back; your toes sticking together in a pair of too-large sandals. 

The grass and dirt sizzled their complaints underneath your palms, but they didn’t for Alipede. Against the limewood, he rested his back with a peculiar look of detachment. 

He hadn’t cried. 

But you fussed over his wounds anyway with wet wipes and a few clumsy attempts at band-aids. Halfway through the heinous process with the tissue already stained with dirt and blood, you realized you might be risking an infection. 

“S-Should I get a teacher? A nurse?” You choked out hopelessly before realizing the only semi-responsible teenager around here were you. “W-We should get you inside first!”

Your shoulders continued to shake the more you forced the words out. The boy’s eyes were dead set on your panicked face, but ultimately no answer came.

You gulped and put on your best caring tone. “D-Does it still hurt?”

Alipede blinked. No answer. A thousand years passed. Silence. Your lips wobbled with anxiety in your guts and an apology behind your lips. He had it so much harder than you.

Still, when the albino extended an arm out to reach something behind you… no, on you. Under you? You flinched. A marshmallow-soft sensation settled on your lap and your gaze instinctively followed where his hand went. A rabbit, fur as pale as snow and eyes as red as ruby, had unknowingly hopped out of its coop and was now curling up on your legs.

His rabbit. 

It might as well have made you drown in guilt before, but that feeling was so far away now it barely registered in your mind. Alipede reached out to pet the creature. It nuzzled into his hand and emitted a purring sound, the vibration tingling your skin. You watched the interaction with relief. 

A good distance away from the common building, everything measured up to a perfect amount of tranquility. There were no cheery nursery rhymes on repeat, no cagey and overly dramatic action movies playing from one classroom to another. You smiled and scratched the rabbit’s head with your forefinger, earning a soft snore from the little guy. 

“You left the cage open.”

It took three blinks to realize that Alipede was talking to you. 

He hadn’t tilted his head up yet, still caressing his beloved pet. Beneath the shades of linden, Alipede seemed so soft and kind—looking every bit the pretty boy he was told to be. Maybe it hadn’t been a compliment at all, and you knew how much the albino detested being labeled as just another darling face. But even then, without spring in his steps and a guide cane in his hand, Alipede had always had this air of helplessness floating in and around him, teetering between the fading line of despair and a sense of willpower just vague enough to keep him going.

Your heart was already in your throat when he continued to say something. 

Was it your name? 

The beginning and the ending seemed to match, but there was no guarantee what had slipped out in between. The sun hid behind a heap of cotton candy clouds, yet your palm remained clammy, uncomfortably hot. Maybe it was the guilt. Maybe it was the knowledge that you had too wronged the poor boy. That you had fed and played and cared for what was his when he wasn’t around. 

A tap on your shoulder. This time, you gathered the courage to finally meet his eyes as the albino leaned in and muttered again.

So it really was your name.

And your forehead was touching his. So was your nose. Alipede was so close you two were basically breathing the same air, the apples of your cheeks up against one another. And you hadn’t minded the unusually intimate distance, too busy taking in the red in his irises and the flutter of his pale lashes. Only when the rabbit squirmed on your lap again, trying to make some room did you realize that you still owed him an apology. You pulled back and ducked your head sheepishly.

“I’m sorry…”

For touching the rabbit without his permission. For the wounds on his knees. For complaining too much when he hadn’t. 

Your gaze was trained on your lap, waiting. Thomas once whined to you about the scratches on his hand, calling the albino a freak because he had overreacted. You wondered if Alipede would bite you too. His pet did the first time you approached it, leaving a red welt on your arm and a scar on your pinkie. The thought of an angry boy sinking his teeth deep into your skin sounded so silly that it almost made you laugh. Maybe you wouldn’t even blame him then.

He hadn’t said anything either, but when the albino unexpectedly took your hands in his and laced your fingers together, you hadn’t flinched. Alipede was smiling at you. 

“It’s fine,” then came a gentle squeeze. There in those cemeteries of red, you spotted a glint of delight, “I’m not mad.”

“Oh.” You opened your mouth, then closed it. “Thanks...”

Alipede raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just…” You mumbled. “I thought you would be mad at me for…”

A lock of white hair fell over his shoulder as Alipede tilted his head. He looked so cute; you wanted to squish his cheeks together.

“If it’s you, I won’t.” 

The comment might have made you feel better if it wasn’t for the dry delivery. Even then, you trusted the boy enough to mellow out with a squeeze back. Did you forget something? Your gaze darted back to his scraped knees and felt your heart jump; you still had to take him inside for a checkup.

“You’re still hurting! W-We should head back in—“ The second you had tried to move away, he gripped and pulled you back in with a strength you didn’t know was possible. Shouldn’t be possible. Eyes wide as full moons, you could only stare as Alipede cupped your cheeks. 

“I’m fine.” 

“But-“

“I’m not hurting.” 

The albino lowered his voice, pleading.

“Can we stay here a little longer, please?”

You nod wordlessly. 

It was only Alipede, after all.

You trusted him just as much as he did you. He didn’t need to talk and beg and cry his way into your free time; you gave it to him willingly anyway.

The albino’s thumbs ghosted over your cheekbones. You wondered if he had felt your silent agreement at all, if he could hear the heart beating inside your chest, the blood flowing in your veins, and the air pumping into your lungs. He might have heard a lot of things you couldn’t.

The rabbit squirmed once more, nuzzling its fluffy head against your thigh. Alipede’s hands finally left your face to continue petting his comfort animal, but his eyes didn’t.

“He likes you,” Alipede said with conviction, and a smile smudged around the corners of his lips like a gallery of oil paintings forgotten in the rain. 

“Oh.” You gaped at him; it always got so unbearably awkward the first time. “Um… what’s his name by the way?”

The boy must have had one ready before you even asked, sonnets of adoration bubbling in his throat and vibrant stars dancing behind his eyelids. And you had waited too—all bated breath, all whispering humbleness. Uncertainty swirled your guts like a desert oasis.

But when Alipede opened his mouth to speak, it was your name that had slipped out. 

And again. And again. And again. 

He said yours the same way people would when they cheered for sport: loud, excited, hopeful. You blinked. You heard him the first time, you just didn’t know what he meant by any of it. A “Huh?”, small and confused, left your lips. Then the cords clicked and the dots connected themselves. 

“Oh, oh.” You dropped your face into your hands with a choked groan; the heat on your cheeks rivaling the scorching sun. Through the crack of your fingertips, Alipede’s smile remained constant.

He had named his rabbit after you.

—

The hallway got dustier and narrower the further you went down. 

Once lunchtime rolled around, it was a maze of spilled drinks and childish destruction—foods and toys and everything imaginable going back and forth in the air until all of them hit the floor in a mass of ruination. One noon, you sighed and tugged on Alipede’s arm, leading him into the teacher’s lounge.

The place was empty. Well, no teacher here had ever bothered to stick with the kids until their second meal of the day, anyway. Once an incoherent excuse was out, they slipped into their cars and drove off into the distance. You never saw them again. 

Your mom was around for breakfast sometimes, downing her portion wearily. She reeked of cheap booze. Of nightclubs and bad decisions. Once in third grade, you flushed her Seropin down the toilet by accident, thinking they were expired candy. Even then, your mom had come home wordlessly the next day with bloodshot eyes and bruised lips, and you hadn’t gone near her medical cabinet since.

Alipede leaned against the wall, a hand clasped over his nose obediently as you cleared out cigar stubs and crushed beer cans on the floor. Turning on the AC and opening a few windows seemed to help with the stuffy air inside. You guided the albino to sit at the table in the middle of the room, on chairs that creaked and felt too adult-like with foam for cushions. There was no one else around, but Alipede clung to your waist with a pout and pulled your seats closer than they already were. You giggled; you loved his clinginess, just as much as he loved you.

“We have—” Still joyful, you paused for effect and peered down the two trays on the table. “—Japanese food today! Curry over rice and miso soup. Have you heard of them before, Ali?” 

Alipede, nose buried in your hair and mind probably somewhere up in the cloud, only blinked. His grip tightened around your waist when he asked, “No. What are they like?” 

“Hmm…” You pursed your lips, “the curry has a thick and smooth texture that feels like velvet against your tongue. It also contains a blend of spices like cumin and coriander. Remember that, Ali? You said you couldn’t stand the pungent smell!” Your shoulders shook slightly as you laughed. “Don’t worry, it’s sweet and pretty mildly spiced. We have carrots and potatoes too! You said you loved them—“

On and on, you went about the dishes with gusto. He kept his eyes on you the whole time.

You used to wonder what Alipede’s world was like. A pitch black. A collision of sound waves and echoes. An overdose of nothingness. Long ago, you read a story about a father who sacrificed his son for the prosperity of their land. The boy grew up beautifully still, slaying demons and taking back the body parts that had been rightfully his since birth. A touching tale about defying fate and pushing forward in the face of adversity. 

Still, Hyakkimaru was a fictional character, and Alipede was not. 

You couldn’t begin to fathom the battle he had to go through every day, struggling to just be seen as a normal person, one with a life just as valuable as others. 

But he hadn’t complained.

He hadn’t cried to you about the bullying either. Months ago before you came, the albino huddled inside a coop behind the school, holding onto his pet bolt-tight. He didn’t need to cry; his fading bruises and healing wounds already did the job for him.

Alipede’s lips curled up against the shell of your ear, dragging you further into the wool of a couch nearby. “You’re right, it’s just mildly spiced,” he whispered, low and content like a purring cat, between the messy tangles of your limbs, “could use a bit more sweetness, though.”

—

“I wanna get out of here,” you sighed almost dreamily by a pond in the garden, legs tucked under your knees in your favorite sundress, “maybe visit Japan one day. Or Korean. Anywhere is nice.”

You raised a hand to point at something. Maybe a bird passing by. Maybe a red hot orb flowing on the horizon, half-submerged by the Earth. What it was, it was promptly abandoned the moment Alipede grabbed onto your wrist and twined your fingers together.

“You’re not thinking of leaving me, are you?” Alipede’s pupils dilated in the setting sun, the white of his hair and your dress bleeding into one oversaturated canvas. “You told me you wouldn’t.” 

“Of course not!” The answer came just as quickly, hurt and amusement wrapped up in the form of a pout written across your face. Even then, he hadn’t returned an apology. You had felt silly for even bothering to wait for one, but that was okay.

It was only Alipede, after all.

Instead, you squeezed his hand back, lacing your pinkie together in the naive gesture of a promise. 

“I’ll be your eyes, Ali. For as long as I live.”

You swore through mirthful smiles and hushed voices. Here, tucked away from the common building and terrible adults, the world narrowed down to just you and him. And Alipede—your sweet, adorable, and lovely Alipede—whose head was on your lap and whose heart was forever yours, only stared back unblinkingly. 

Then he giggled, pulling you forward. Against all senses, you held on, and the two of you toppled into the grass. Nighttime prickled at your skin like a bug as you laughed along with him, and the summer dragged on, neverending.

[hellfirenacht]

C'mon, It's Just One Night (Part 2)

Summary: After getting a fake love note in your locker, you ask Eddie to help you mess up some bullies plans. 

Tags: Eddie Munson x Reader, smut later, fem reader, reader wears a dress at one point, mentions of bullying, actual bullying, three-shot

Master List

3.8k Words

Part 1

You and Eddie didn’t talk about the plan again until the night of Homecoming. Most of the chats you had about what was going to happen tonight was about the secret show that Corroded Coffin was going to do right after the dance. 

Honestly, you had heard a few kids quietly whispering about the show, which surprised you. You wondered how many people were interested in the music versus wanting to see the Freak and his band play. After all, Corroded Coffin only really played The Hideout on Tuesdays, which wasn’t exactly the best time slot for high schoolers. 

It was about a half hour before the dance was supposed to start, and you had spent the whole day distracted. You kept reading that stupid note over and over again, and anyone watching you would think that you were just excited about a secret date. The truth was that you hoped that the note would somehow give you any sort of clue about what was planned for you when you made your way into the gym that night. 

You’d convinced the rest of Hellfire to try and gather any information on what was going to happen, but no one came back with any information. Even Lucas, who was a jock, couldn’t get any information from anyone. 

Maybe this would be a Carrie situation. 

Having telekinetic powers could be cool though. 

You stared hard at the brush on your desk that night, trying to make it move with your mind. Nothing happened. 

It might not have moved because as you were glaring at your brush, a knock came at your bedroom door. It was your mom, wanting you to come outside and take photos of you in your outfit. And yeah, you were a little excited to do that after all the work that you had put into looking this nice for a fifteen minute bit. It wouldn’t hurt to have proof that you looked good tonight.

You stood up and smoothed out your dress before walking outside into the front yard as your mom called out that she’d be out there in a second as she grabbed the camera.

You didn’t expect anyone else to be outside, but when you stepped out the door you were greeted with the sight of someone standing on the porch.

It was Eddie.

Eddie Munson. 

His hair was freshly washed and his waves were framing his face perfectly. His leather jacket had been discarded for the night and he was wearing a dark gray button-up shirt that looked almost black with the top two buttons undone. The closest you’d ever seen him wear a button up were a few flannels that he wore in the fall and winter. His jeans looked... they looked new. New and dark blue with no holes in them to be seen. The only pieces of his outfit that you recognized were his rings and his reeboks. The twilight had cast a near purple haze over your neighborhood, and Eddie... Eddie looked good in that fading light. 

“Holy shit.” You said, after staring at him like an idiot for a moment. “Who are you and what have you done with Eddie?”

“Ha Ha.” Eddie fake laughed. “I could say the same about you.” 

You felt your cheeks grow warm, unsure if that was a compliment or not. “I... You look good.” you said more genuinely. 

This caused Eddie to shift slightly on his feet. “You look better.”

You could have died on the spot. 

“Wait, what are you doing here?” you asked. “I thought we were meeting up at the school?” 

“You’re coming to the show with me after this anyway.” Eddie explained. “It’d be easier if I just drove both of us. We can still pretend that we didn’t meet up, I can drop you off at the school where no one will see us together and I’ll follow you inside after a few minutes.”

That made sense, you were going to be helping out with set up after the dance anyway. 

“You might have made a mistake coming out here to pick me up, you know.” you said. “My mom will be out here in about two minutes and if she sees you, she’s going to make us take cheesy photos together.”

“I can humor your mom for a few minutes for this.” Eddie shrugged. “Besides, I owe her for being such a loyal customer.”

You stared at him. “Eddie... what do you mean by that?”

He gave you that trademark shit-eating grin, the one that he often used during club when he knew he was about to royally piss everyone off. 

“How else do you think I was able to buy new jeans?” he asked, his brown eyes shining in the lingering twilight. 

“Eddie Munson, you motherfucker, do not tell me that you sell drugs to my own mother-” 

Speak of your mother, and she shall appear with a smile and a camera in hand. You were going to have a long talk with Eddie later about boundaries and selling weed to your mother, even though you knew it wouldn’t change anything. 

Your mom quickly ushered you to take some solo pictures of you, and Eddie stood behind her watching with amusement as you awkwardly posed in the way you had seen in some teen magazine that you’d browsed when waiting in line at the grocery store. You felt stiff and awkward until Eddie started making faces behind your mom’s back that had you breaking out into a fit of giggles. He was totally going to give you shit for this later, but you knew he’d have his moment in the spotlight in a moment as well. 

Eddie was next up, but somehow he had no problem casually posing and smiling for your mom’s camera. Asshole. 

Then the couple’s pictures came and your mom made it clear exactly how she had wanted you two to pose. Eddie didn’t even hesitate wrapping his arm around your waist and holding your hand. 

For a few moments, you forgot what was supposed to happen that night. In this moment, you could really believe that you were going on a date with your best friend, and that he was holding your hand because he wanted to, not just because he was being forced to because of a favor. Eddie had always been a good actor, and you thought that if he wasn’t such a metal-and-D&D nerd, he could have been great in the theater department. 

Eddie really was a storyteller at heart. In music, in Dungeons and Dragons, in his doodles, the way he played up his Freak persona, and in this moment with his arms settled on your hips and his head on your shoulder. If Eddie wanted to captivate with a story, he could. 

It’s a shame that a story was all this was. 

Once the two of you were finally released from the watchful eye of your moms camera, Eddie led you to his van. He opened the passenger seat door for you, and even helped you into your seat as if he were a real gentleman. You didn’t think anyone had ever done that for you before. 

“So... is there a plan for how we’re going to do this?” you asked. “We haven’t really talked about how this is going to happen.” 

“What time is your secret admirer supposed to show up?” Eddie asked, the sound of his mixtape crackling through the air. 

“7:30.” 

“Then you’ll go in about five minutes early, stand in the middle of the gym, and at 7:30 I’ll burst in, sweep you off your feet, and then we can blow this joint.” Eddie said. 

“I could use a joint.” you sighed, looking out the window as reality came back. You weren’t a princess, and this wasn’t a fairytale. Eddie was only doing this as a favor, nothing more. 

“I’ll let you have one after we set up for the show.” He promised, pulling his van up to behind the school where no one was going to be dropped off for the dance. “I’ll see you inside in five minutes.” 

You gave him a nod. “See you on the other side, Freak.” 

You slipped to the entrance of the gym, and walked towards the booth where you presented your homecoming ticket. Homecoming had started at 7 pm on the dot and most students were already inside, dancing and giggling and having fun. The sound of the latest pop songs were echoing through the halls outside of the gym. The cheerleader running the ticket booth looked you up and down with a giggle.

“I love your outfit! It’s so... unique!” she gave you a smile that was way too wide and you grit your teeth at the false compliment. You shoved that anger down into your gut, and gave your best fake smile back, hoping that you sounded more sincere. 

“Thank you, so much!” Your voice came out a bit higher pitched than anticipated, but the cheerleader didn’t seem to notice. 

“Your Secret Admirer is going to love it.” She continued, and you felt your stomach twist. Shit, the cheerleaders were in on this too? You wondered how many people were in on this. “He asked me to give you this when you got here.”

She handed you a note, in the same sloppy handwriting as before. 

Meet me in the center of the dance floor at 7:30. 

It was 7:26 right now. You were tempted to make the assholes wait, after all, you wanted to make sure Eddie had a chance to get here before they could. But the cheerleader obviously saw you read the note, and there was no time to turn back. 

Just show up for me. Eddie. You thought to yourself. Although this had been your idea, you were feeling nervous now. You really were about to put yourself out on full display to the school, willingly offering yourself up on a plate to your peers for humiliation. What if this didn’t work? What if Eddie didn’t make it in time? What if something worse happened with Eddie here? 

The short walk from the entrance to the middle of the dance floor felt like slow motion. Your mind felt fuzzy and you hoped that you weren’t shaking from nerves. You stood in the center of the dance floor, and turned to face the single clock in the back of the gym. You could barely make out the time with the distance and dim lights, but you knew it was almost time. 

7:27

7:28

You could do this

7:29

Almost time....

7:30

7:31

Where the fuck was Eddie?

7:32

Did he get held up?

7:33

Did he change his mind?

7:34

Fuck, you could hear the giggling.

7:35

You felt a tap on your shoulder. 

This was it. 

You turned around slowly, waiting for the worst. 

Eddie stood before you, corsage in hand, on one knee as if he was proposing to you. 

Maybe this was the real prank. Maybe the real prank was the one you played on yourself to be able to see your best friend kneeling and smiling up at you, offering you a corsage. 

Time froze for a second as you took in the sight and committed it to memory. 

“I’m glad you made it.” Eddie said, loud enough for anyone to hear. He really did have that natural projection that should have had the theater kids begging him to join them. “I knew you’d respond to my note.”

There was a dull murmur of confusion behind you, and you saw Eddie’s eyes flicker to something that you couldn’t see and he gave you a small nod. 

Fuck, that was your cue. 

You brought your hands up to your mouth, acting like all of the actresses you’d seen on tv who’s characters had been proposed to. You began nodding and accepted the corsage, letting him slide it onto your wrist. 

How had he known what color to get to match your dress? 

Eddie stood up and you threw your arms around him. “I was hoping it was you!” you said loudly, no need to act for this part. Eddie wrapped his arms around your waist and picked you up and spun you around once. He really was deceptively strong, and you giggled as he set you down. Your lips met his cheek. His arms stayed around you. 

Eddie smiled at you in a way that made your cheeks heat up and your knees feel weak. 

You two were staring at each other. 

The music changed. 

Eddie moved one of his hands from around your waist to grab yours, and the two of you were slow dancing before you even fully knew what was happening. 

“Eddie, what are you doing?” You asked, following his movements. 

“You said you wanted to really sell this that we were together now.” Eddie said, keeping his eyes on you. “I don’t know how many people would believe it if I showed up and we immediately left. It wouldn’t exactly be memorable.” 

“Right, good point.” you agreed. 

“I always have good points, that’s why I’m the dungeon master.” Eddie chuckled, “Besides, it’d be a shame that you put in this much effort to look good for little old me to not show you off. What kind of boyfriend would I be? I have to make sure that I get a reputation for being a mean and scary freak, but also a decent date.”

Boyfriend. 

“Shit.” you said quietly. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, brows furrowing with a frown. 

“I didn’t think about what happens after this. You agreed to be my fake date, but I don’t want you to feel trapped with me after this.” you said. “Yeah, this’ll get everyone off my back for now but when school starts again, I don’t want you to feel like you have to act like we’re together.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Eddie said. “It’s not like my dating life is thriving here anyway. Between you and me, I’m a little too old for those who dare try and get with the Freak here.”

You let out a small laugh. “Tired of one night stands with girls who just want bragging rights?” 

“After the third time, I was starting to feel like I was cheating on my right hand.”

You pressed your forehead against his shoulder, erupting into a fit of giggles. This felt right, this relaxed moment with Eddie. This is how it was supposed to feel with someone, right? It was supposed to be easy, and with Eddie it always was. 

“Thank you, Eddie.” you said after your giggles had died down. “I really owe you one.”

“I thought this plan was me owing you one.” Eddie asked. 

“This is honestly above and beyond helping you get a passing grade for a test.” you admitted. “I know you have your show tonight, and you hate doing anything for school. Plus, you showed up wearing this and you spent money on jeans and the corsage- oh, thank you for the corsage-”

“Hey,” Eddie snapped you out of your rambling. “Don’t act like you forced me to do anything. You said I had full creative control tonight. I chose to do all this for you.”

“Why?” you asked, meeting his eyes. “You could have so easily told me to just fuck off and said no.”

“I’ll admit this wasn’t exactly my idea of how this night was going to go.” Eddie said. “But then you said that you wanted the Freak to show up for you. I wanted to know what would happen if it was just Eddie.” 

“Just Eddie...” you said quietly. Not the Freak, not the satanic cult leader, not the dungeon master. Just Eddie, your friend. “I’m glad that just Eddie was the one to show up.” your mouth went dry. “I- ...Eddie I-”

The two of you had stopped moving in slow circles, Eddie was closer than he had ever been to you before. You forgot where you were and Eddie was leaning closer to you, his mouth opening as if he was going to say something. 

And that’s when it happened. 

Whatever it was, it was room temperature, and sticky. It dripped down from your hair, down your face and onto your dress. You looked down to see pools of red flooding below you on the gym floor, and then your head shot up to see Eddie, covered in the same sticky substance with a dumbstruck look on his face. 

Blood? Was that actually blood?! Was Eddie bleeding? Were you? Wait, had someone actually dumped pigs blood on you?

Eddie wiped his face, smearing the substance on his skin and hand and carefully brought it to his face and sniffed it, and then gave it a small lick.

“Corn syrup.” he said and looked at you, his eyes wide in shock. 

“You mean this was a Carrie situation?!” you asked in a loud whisper as the two of you stared at each other. You looked around, and saw the group of jocks laughing and high fiving each other. One of them was holding an old paint bucket. Your body froze, and you couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. Those assholes had thrown fake blood on you and Eddie. They won. You fucked up. Eddie did so much for you tonight and you never even considered that the jocks would be smart enough to adjust their plans to account for Eddie being here-

Then Eddie started laughing, like really laughing. It was that genuine laugh that you’d heard a hundred times when the party came up with a stupid plan to get past one of Eddie’s challenges in Hellfire. 

He looked at you, with a spark in his eyes and a grin that was manic. 

His laughter was so contagious, that you found yourself laughing as well. You heard the laughter from the jocks start to die down and turn into mutters of confusion. The whole gym seemed to go silent, and you think the DJ stopped the music but you were laughing too much to care. 

How fucking rediculous was this? It was almost too obvious what they had set up, but you didn’t think they were this unoriginal. How did they even sneak in the bucket? How did no faculty or staff react to this?!

“I guess the Freak is showing up, anyway.” Eddie laughed and looked at you. “Let’s give them the show they want.”

Eddie’s hand wrapped around the back of your neck and started pulling you in. Instinct took over and you gripped at his stained shirt and then your lips met. The kiss was met with gasps and oohs and shouts from around you, but you didn’t care. Eddie was kissing you, and you were kissing him back. The two of you must have looked like a spectacle, covered in fake blood and making out with him in the middle of the dance floor after laughing like maniacs.

“Stop that, right now you two!” you heard a teacher yell, and that’s when Eddie pulled back.

“Feel free to kill me for that later, okay?” That wild smile was still on his face. 

“I think we should run now.” you agreed, deciding that whatever had just happened within the last 30 seconds could be processed later. You could see a few teachers starting to finally take action and start to run over, and the jocks were now scattering. Even though you and Eddie were the victims here, you didn’t really feel like sticking around. Whatever would happen with the school, could wait until Monday.

Eddie grabbed your hand, flipped off the few jocks that were still gawking, and the two of you took off running through the exit doors of the gym, the two of you laughing and cackling like mad. 

“Fake blood!” you yelled as the two of you dashed across the parking lot. “They threw fake blood on us!” 

“They actually spent money to get that much corn syrup and dye!” Eddie laughed, opening the door to his van for you again. 

“Shit, it’s gonna get all over your van.” you said, taking your seat anyway and buckling up. 

“That’s the least worrying thing I’ve spilled in here. Don’t worry about it.” He said, hopping into the driver side seat. “Jesus Christ, I didn’t think they had it in them!”

“Eddie, they ruined your new clothes.” You frowned, looking at him. The fake blood was starting to dry to your skin, and you could see it starting to give Eddie’s hair an odd texture in certain areas. 

“They also ruined your dress.” 

“Yeah, but I was never going to wear this again.” you said. 

“And I was going to ruin these clothes anyway.” he shrugged and started the car, peeling out of the parking lot like a bat out of Hell. Eddie’s lead foot hit the gas and the two of you were speeding down the road, out of town towards the quarry. 

“Holy shit.” you said, leaning against the seat as the adrenaline faded. 

“I think that could’ve gone worse.” Eddie said, still smiling. “I think the blood really adds to Corroded Coffin’s whole thing.” 

You shook your head, grabbing some napkins from the floor and wiping your hands off. “Shit, do we owe them a thanks now? Should we send them a fruit basket?” 

“Nah, they’ll get what they deserve. A slap on the wrist for pulling this stunt at a school function.” Eddie glanced at you with a wry grin. 

“Right, why do I feel like they’ll get off easy but somehow we’re gonna be the ones in trouble on Monday?” You rolled your eyes and lowered your voice in a horrible imitation of Principal Higgins. “Yes, those two played a harmless prank by dumping corn syrup on you, but you two displayed unsightly behavior in front of everyone in some sort of Hellish ritual-”

“Ouch. I didn’t think I was that bad of a kisser.” 

You stopped talking and suddenly the corn syrup felt sticky and uncomfortable. You still hadn’t been able to digest the fact that the two of you had kissed- no, you two had full on made-out in front of the whole student body. Had there been tongue? You honestly couldn’t remember. 

An awkward silence settled over the two of you and you were unsure of what to say. You wanted to tell him that no, he wasn’t a bad kisser at all. You wanted to be smooth and say something like “Well, I wasn’t really paying attention before, how about we try again?”. You wanted to say anything to indicate that you liked it and very much wanted to do it again. 

Instead the two of you sat in the loudest silence you had ever been in as the two of you drove the long strip down to the quarry. You scolded yourself, thinking that saying anything had to be better than saying nothing. 

And yet no words came out.

This was supposed to be a one shot in April. Now it's a three-shot. Do NOT let me write more than three chapters. The third chapter is almost done. There will be smut.

Divider by @strangergraphics

Tag List: @supernaturalstilinski @wonderlanddreamer @princesssunderworld @kores-mun-son-n-more @munsonfiles

@ladysilence @ghcstpyre @avalon-wolf @huffledor-able541 @sheneedsrocknroll92

@i-trash-about-things

[bingbongsupremacy]

Notice Me

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Warning: Reader wears a dress, cursing

Summary: You really want Steve to notice you. What you don't realize is that Eddie's been there all along.

Eddie is only 1 yr older than the reader.

*Not Proof Read*

Ok, I had a bit of a brain block halfway through writing this one. I hope it's not too noticeable. I hope you guys enjoy it! Thanks for reading!

□□□□□□□□

" I don't think I've ever seen you in a dress. " Jeff states with a mouthful of sandwich.

" I'm trying something different. " I set my tray down across from the guy. " Why, does it look bad? "

" No, just different. " Eddie adds in, a smile on his face.

God, I love that smile. Stop. Don't make it weird. He doesn't like you. Besides, what if it makes things in the friend group weird? It's better to date someone outside of the group like Steve.

Across the room I spot the boy in my thoughts. Steve is chatting away with some of the guys on his team, oblivious to my gaze. He's not bad looking. Definitely not Eddie, but not hard on the eyes.

I tear my gaze away from the boy only to discover Eddie looking at me. He glances back at the table I was looking at and then down at my clothes, his eyebrows quirking in realization. He doesn't say anything, opting to instead keep listening to Doug talk about one of the past campaigns.

Halfway through lunch I begin to pack up my things.

" Where are you going? " Eddie asks curiously, cutting off Jeff.

" The business club. They have meetings second half of lunch every Tuesday. " I don't necessarily want to go but Steve's really active in it and I figured it might be a good place to try to get to know him.

Eddie's brows furrow in confusion. " Since when are you interested in business? "

" Since yesterday when I joined. " I roll my eyes. " What is this, an interrogation? "

" Just curious. " Eddie stands up, pulling his jacket off of the back of his chair. " I'll walk you. "

" Sure. It's not thar far. "

We head out of the lunch room together in the direction the business classroom.

" Hey, don't get mad at me, " Eddie begins slightly nervously. " But are you doing all of this, " He gestures to my clothes and the room down the hall. " for Harrington? "

I feel heat rise to my cheeks. I had hoped no one would notice. " What makes you say that? " I try to act calmly.

Eddie shrugs and shoves his hands into his pockets. " Dunno maybe because...you're dressed like every other girl in the school, you joined the club he's the president of and I saw you at his basketball game last night. You hate basketball. "

" I don't hate basketball...I just don't particularly enjoy or understand it. " I say while stopping in front of the classroom. Inside lots if kids are sitting around the tables, waiting for Steve to talk.

Eddie rolls his eyes. " You hate basketball. So you're doing all this for a guy? Why? Because you like him? "

My eyes widen. I clamp my hand over his mouth, pulling the boy away from the open door. " Shut the fuck up, Eddie. Someone could hear you. " I hiss. I move my hand away from his soft lips.

I wonder how it would feel to kiss-Stop.

I step away from the guy, needing to create some distance between us.

" Look, personally I don't think it's a good idea to do what you're doing. " Eddie begins. " But it's your life. Whatever. Listen, " Eddie pulls out a folded slip of paper from his ripped jeans. " the band landed a gig at The Hideout next Friday and I'd really love if you'd come watch. " He unfolds the paper to reveal a printed poster of the band and the bar name.

" Oh fuck yeah, Eddie!! I knew you'd land a gig! " I exclaim while wrapping the boy into a hug. " I'm so fucking proud of you, dude. I'll be there, I swear. "

Eddie wraps his warm arms around me. The faint smell of weed and cheap cologne fills my nostrils, a smell that's just so Eddie.

His face is so close to mine. I can feel his breath on my cheek. If I lean a little I could just k-Stop it. He doesn't like you like that. You're just a friend.

" I should be getting inside. " I pull away, needing to create some distance between us to clear my head.

Eddie gives me a small wave good bye.

I step into the classroom and take a seat at one of the tables. This is going to be boring as shit.

The club meeting seems to take forever to finish up. I don't understand half of what anyone is saying nor am I very interested in finding out what it means. By the end, I'm very happy when the end of lunch bell rings.

I begin to pack up my things when I notice Steve walking towards me.

" Hey! Are you new to the club? " He asks kindly. His smile is wide and friendly. He extends a hand.

I shake his hand and smile back. " Yeah, actually! I joined yesterday. "

" Well, it's always nice to see a new face. I'm Steve. I don't think we've ever officially met. Are you in my next hour math class? "

I nod. " I am, yeah! I'm Y/N by the way. "

Steve grabs his backpack from one of the tables as we walk towards the door. " Is it cool if I walk with you then? "

" Of course. "

Steve's actually pretty nice. Very smart too. He has a bit of a reputation of being a bully, especially around Tommy, but so far I can't see it.

He helps math pass by a lot faster, especially since he understands the concepts a lot more than me.

" Are you free this Thursday? " Steve asks.

That's the day we play DND. Shit

But who knows if I'll get another opportunity with Steve like this.

" Yeah. " I nod, jotting down an answer on my homework. " Why? "

" Well, a few of my friends and I are going Donny's Diner after school to hang out. You're welcome to come if you'd like. "

I'm so torn. Eddie or Steve? Well, there's always another campaign next week. Who knows if Steve will invite me out again.

" Sounds like fun. I'll be there. "

********

" Come on, Y/N. This is 7 millionth time you've canceled on plans with us in two weeks. Is loverboy really that important? " Eddie's voice is slightly annoyed.

" Relax, Ed. It's only been 2 times. I promise I'll go to the next movie night, I swear. "

Eddie sighs. " You better. I miss hanging out with you, who else am I supposed to make snide comments with? "

" What about Gareth? "

" Gareth's not at peak humor like you are. "

A soft 'hey' makes its way through my phone.

" I'll be there next time. " I feel bad for ditching our monthly movie night, but Steve invited me to a party.

" Are you still coming to the gig on Friday? " Eddie asks hopefully.

" I wouldn't miss it for the world. "

Eddie and I end our phone call just in time for Steve and Nancy to show up.

I've actually had a lot of fun with Steve and his friends the past few weeks. I'm not the biggest fan of Tommy and Carol, but Nancy and Barb aren't that bad.

" Are you coming to the game on Friday? " Nancy asks while handing me a beer.

Eddie's gig's on Friday.

" What time is it? " I ask while taking a sip of the amber liquid.

" Varsity starts and 7 and ends at 8-8:30. We're all planning on going to Donny's after. You should come. " Nancy invites with a warm smile.

Corroded Coffin plays at 10. If I'm careful, I should be able to make it.

" I'll be there. "

I just really have to keep track of time.

******

" I can't believe you shot from that far, that was amazing. " I compliment Steve in awe.

Steve smiles widely. " I honestly can't believe it either. I'm still in shock. "

I'm glad I came out tonight. I didn't really understand the game but it's been nice to talk to Steve and the others. Although, I feel like I might've forgotten something.

Eddie.

" Shit. " I blurt, my eyes widening. I look over at the clock on the diner wall. 10:40. " I've got to go. " I hurry out of the diner booth I'm in.

" Is everything alright? " Steve asks in confusion.

" I forgot I had to do something tonight. " I explain quickly. " Thank you guys for inviting me, I'll see you later. " I excuse myself. I quickly pay my tab with the waitress before heading out to my bike. Thank god I chose to bring to with me instead of taking a ride with Steve. There's no way I could make it to The Hide Out on foot.

Eddie's going to kill me. I can't believe I forgot about tonight.

I pull up to the bar to see the guys loading up the back of Eddie's van. Shit, I missed it.

Eddie doesn't acknowledge me as I pull my bike to a stop a few feet away from the band.

" I'm so sorry, guys. " I apologize to Jeff, Gareth and Doug who are closest to me.

" T's fine. " Gareth mumbles. " Eddie's the one who's pissed. "

Over his shoulder, I can hear Eddie curse as he drops a box of cords on the street floor.

" You should go talk to him. We'll give you guys space. We've got stuff to clean up inside anyway. " Jeff leads the guys back into the bar leaving me and Eddie alone outside.

Part of me wishes they were still here. I'm fucking terrified to talk to Eddie. I know I let him down. I just hope I didn't fuck everything up.

" I'm sorry, Edd-"

Eddie cuts me off. " You promised. " He stands up from his place by the fallen box of cords, his eyes filled with anger and hurt. " You fucking promised, Y/N. You said you'd be here. You missed the whole fucking thing! "

" I'm sorry, I lost track of time. I went to dinner with Steve and his friends and I-"

Eddie lets out a bitter chuckle. " Of course, you were with Steve. When aren't you with Steve? It's like you've completely forgotten that you have other friends. "

" Thanks not true! " I argue, beginning to feel defensive. " I hang out with you guys all the time. "

" Bullshit. You've blown us off every chance you've gotten to. " Eddie tosses the cords into the back of his van, quickly moving to pick up the rest of his stuff.

He's not wrong. I hadn't realized how many times I'd stood the boys up. How many times I'd stood Eddie up.

" I don't even know you anymore, Y/N. " Eddie's voice is soft but full of hurt. " You've become a completely different person. Your style, your interests. "

" I'm allowed to change, Eddie. "

" The problem is you're not changing because it's shit you like. You're changing because you want someone to like you. You're lying to yourself and you're lying to Steve. If he can't like you the way you normally are, then he doesn't deserve to be with you. You need someone who accepts you for the way you are. Not someone you need to change for. " Eddie shakes his head in disapproval. " You know what, Y/N, I'm done. "

My brows furrow in confusion. " What? "

" I'm done waiting for you, Y/N. " Eddie avoids my gaze, his face lighting up from what I think is anger. " You never seem to realize that I'm here. I fucking like you. "

My eyes widen.

Eddie likes me?

" I like the way you dress. I like the way you smile. I like the way you're always you! Or at least, the way you were always you. But I'm not good enough for you, and I see that now. Nothing I ever do will make you like me back. "

A sinking feeling builds in my stomach as I realize what Eddie's about to say.

" I can't be your friend anymore. I-I thought I could handle it but I can't. We're done, Y/N. " Eddie turns and begins to quickly walk back into the building.

" Eddie! " I call after the boy, trying to chase him into the bar. " Wait-Eddie! "

The bouncer at the door refuses to let me in, his strong arms holding back from getting inside.

" Eddie! Please! "

He doesn't look back. He doesn't listen.

I fucked up.

*****

It's been three days since I missed Eddie's band preform. He's completely ignored me at school. I don't eat lunch with the boys anymore, it's too awkward. The one day I tried Eddie didn't bother to show up.

I've spent the last few days thinking about Eddie's confession. How did I miss it?

I'm so fucking stupid.

It was so obvious.

He opened my door. He stood up for me. He went out of his way to make sure I got home safe after work. He always showed up to important events for me. He gave me gifts.

And I couldn't even make it to the most important thing to him.

How could I think he wouldn't like me back?

I'm a shitty person. I'm a shitty friend.

" Hey, Y/N. " Steve's voice pulls me out of my head.

I look up to see the boy sitting across from me with a smile. " Hey. " I smile weakly at him.

This is my other issue. I have to tell Steve I've been lying.

Steve seems to notice something wrong. " Are you okay? "

I shake my head. " Not really but I will be. Eventually. "

" Do you want to talk about it? "

He's so sweet. Why did I fucking lie to him?

" You're going to hate me. " I whisper.

Confusion falls Steve's face. " I couldn't hate you. What are you talking about? "

It's now or never.

" I lied to you, Steve. " I begin. " And in the process, I hurt you and someone I really care about. " I gesture down to my clothes. " This isn't me, Steve. I don't wear shit like this. "

Steve's eyes widen.

Embarrassed to see his reaction, I look away. I know he's going to hate me.

" I don't wear dresses and I don't wear uncomfortable shoes like this. I fucking hate business. And I really couldn't care less about basketball. I'm sorry I just don't understand. What I'm saying is, Steve, I liked you and I tried to become someone else to impress you. But I can't do that. It's not fair to you or me. "

I close my eyes, preparing for Steve to curse me out or call me a freak or something.

He doesn't.

" I know. "

I snap my head towards him. " What? "

Steve sends me a small smile. " I know you were lying. "

" How? "

Steve chuckles. " We were in middle school together. And I saw you around the school before we started talking in class. I know what you dress like. I figured you weren't that into business because every time we go to a club meeting you look like you're about to fall asleep. Also, we don't have goalies in basketball. And I had a hunch that you might've had a crush on me, I just didn't have the heart to tell you I'm dating Nancy. I really like hanging out with you, just only as friends. " He says softly.

I feel heat rush to my cheeks. I knew all along. I drop my head onto the table in front of me, trying to hide myself from the boy. This week keeps getting worse and worse. " I'm so fucking stupid. "

Steve gently pats my arm. " No, you're not. I should've told you about Nancy. We all make mistakes, I'm sure whatever you did to your friend, if you just apologize it'll help. "

I peek over my arms and sigh. " I don't know. I messed up pretty bad. "

Steve leans back in his chair. " Well, we've still got about 40 minutes of lunch left. If you want to talk, I'm all ears. "

" Well, it started the day after I found out we had a class together..." I explain the while situation to Steve who's silent majority of the time. He doesn't make me feel judged, just heard.

At the end he finally speaks.

" That's a lot. "

I groan. " I know. And now I don't known what to do. "

" I think you should apologize and tell him how you feel. What's the worst that could happen because of it? " Steve gently pats my hand.

" You're right. " I sigh. " I should go talk to him. " I push myself up out of my chair. " Thanks Steve. "

Steve sends me a smile. " Of course, anytime. "

Now it's time to fix things with Eddie.

******

Mismatched music pours out of Gareths garage as I come to a stop on my bike.

They're tuning up.

Memories of me hanging out with the guys while they practice fill my mind as I get closer to the building.

My heart pounds. What if Eddie hates me? What if they all do? Gareth and Jeff were a little upset but they got over it pretty quickly. Doug didn't give a fuck. What if that's a lie?

Eddie laughs at something Jeff says before turning around and seeing me. His laughter and smile slowly fade until he's left with a neutral expression. " Hey. " He greets quietly, so quiet it's nearly drowned out by Doug's guitar.

" Hey. " I respond feeling awkward. I glance around to see my friends watching us in confusion.

Normally when we get into fights it's over in a few hours. A day at most. Not this one.

" Can we talk? " I ask.

Eddie studies me for a moment. He looks like he's contemplating something. With a sigh, he sets down his guitar and begins to walk past me. " What's there to talk about, Y/N? "

We make far enough away from the garage to have some privacy.

" I want to apologize. " Will he even accept my apology?

Eddie folds his arms in front of his chest, his expression a mixture of anger and hurt. " You can't just run back to me because things with Steve didn't work out. "

" That's not what I'm doing. " I sigh. " Eddie, you were right. I was trying to change myself for someone else-to be someone else, and that was wrong. I...I liked Steve because I thought I had a better shot at somehow dating him than dating you. " I feel heat rise to my cheeks. I avoid his gaze. " I thought that you didn't like me...that you wouldn't ever like me. I mean, we've known each other for years and you've never made a move-at least none that I had realized at the time. I'm so stupid. And I'm so sorry for missing your show and missing our hang out days. That wasnt right. I made plans with you first and I should've prioritized those first. " I groan, burying my face in my hands. I'm stupid and embarrassed.

" You liked me? "

I nod, my head moving down to my arms. " Since middle school. "

Eddie is silent for a moment. " We're both fucking idiots. " He chuckles, taking me by surprise.

I look up from my arms, confusion on my face.

Eddie looks over at me, a small smile on his face. " I've liked you since middle school too. "

What the fuck.

" Are you kidding me? " I groan in frustration. " All this shit could've been avoided if we just had better observational skills. "

" And communication skills. " Eddie points out.

I nod. " What do we do now? " I ask quietly, scared of what he'll say.

Eddie sighs. " Well, if I'm honest, I'm still a little upset about you missing the show, "

Of course, that's a big thing. I hope I didn't fuck this up forever.

" but...I guess it's okay since we got invited back to play this Friday...And every Friday after that. " A wide smile spreads across Eddie's face.

" Really?! Oh my gosh, Eddie! That's amazing! I'm so excited for you! "

" Thank you, thank you. " Eddie chuckles at my excitement. " I really hope you can make it to my show this Friday though. "

I nod. " Yes. I'll be there, I swear. "

" Good, because I'd really love to introduce the bar owner to my new partner...if you want to be my new partner, that is. " A hint of nervousness is hidden in his voice as he watches my expression.

My heart pounds. Is this really happening?

" I'd love that. " I grin.

A wide smile breaks onto his face. " Let's go tell the boys. " He gently grabs my hand while threading his fingers through mine.

I am definitely going to be there for his show this Friday.

[ghostofwriting]

Kildare Split Part Four: in another life

Rafe Cameron x reader

Chapter 4: in another life

Note: Here's part four!! I'm still crying over TTPD. Down bad is so incredibly Rafeit's insane. Anyway!! I love you all so much, thank you for reading and being absolutely wonderful. This part covers the smau up until part 26. Good luck soldiers!!

Warnings: none, not edited, angst, swearing, sadness, julio, mentions of drugs, mentions of suicidal ideation.

Word Count:  6,722

Synopsis: Everyone has noticed that there's been a shift in how Kildare Split acts around each other. Rafe and Y/N used to be so close, they were always pictured together, and always shared stories of each other and for the last few years, there has been nothing from them. A behind-the-scenes look at what went down between everyone's favourite band.

Chapter 4: in another life 

It’s a nightmare. Everything feels off. The walls are caving in. His mouth feels as if he had chewed on cotton balls for the past hour. It’s spinning. He’s lost control of himself and he doesn’t know how he’ll get it back. 

It started because of the thought of them together. Forever. Married. Having kids and living happily ever after clawed and his chest and ate him from the inside out. It was an ugly feeling. He wanted to be happy for her. There was no way he could be. Not when he was so deeply in love with her. Not that he ever stopped. 

It was just one blunt. He stole it from Barry. He was careful not to disturb any of the other drugs he had in there. Careful not to look at them too long. He’s been good. Has been clean for more than two years without any missteps. And here he is high once again. It’s just weed he tells himself. It’s fine. He’s fine. 

They’re about to go onstage when Sofia loses her mind. She goes absolutely ballistic. He’s pulling her off to the side away from prying eyes.

“Stop. Relax. Let me explain.” Everything comes out in a jumble as he’s trying to balance his damn guitar and get her to stop flailing her arms everywhere. 

“There’s no explaining anything. We are over. We are so done, Rafe. Holy shit I cannot believe I put up with your crazy obsession with your friend who by the way you didn’t even date. You’re insane.” 

“Can you calm down for a second?”

“No! For your information Rafe. She doesn’t want you! She’s moved on! And we could have too but no. You’re here still pining over something that doesn’t exist. You are so incredibly disrespectful to me. I have been nothing but supportive of you. And I have put up with so much shit from you so much hatred because what? Did I take you away from her? You chose me! You left her. And now I’m leaving you.” 

“Sofia-“

“The way you have treated me the last couple of months with your album release and hinting that it’s about her? Do you have any idea how that makes me look? How it makes me feel? You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh! Sorry! You and her! And barely even yourself, you know how I know?” She looks at him, volcanic ash in her eyes. “Because you’re fucking high right now!”

“Keep your voice down.” He pulls her deeper into the corner they’re standing in.

“Fuck you, Rafe. I loved you. I did. I thought that once she moved on, we would be okay. I was wrong. Do not sabotage this for her. She’s happy. You’re not good enough for her. And not for me.”

She does a 180 and storms off away from backstage and away from him. He looks up and Topper is staring at him from where he stands beside Sarah, her hand is on his arm, a look of concern on her face. He shakes his head at them and turns to the stairs that lead to the stage. He spots Y/N and Julio, they’re talking quietly to each other, he sees her laugh and touch Julio’s face, and he kisses the palm of her hand.

Fuck this. He runs back to the green room. He knows he left it around here somewhere and he knows where the lighters are. He digs through three of Barry’s jackets before he finds the blunt. Barry must have moved it. When he pulls it out, a plastic baggie with four white pills comes up with it. He thinks about putting them back. He wants to put them back. He hears the 5-minute warning, stuffs the baggie in his jeans and runs to find a lighter. 

+++

There’s something off about Rafe. She notices when they begin their second song. He’s swaying more than usual, coming up and singing to her face a little too closely. 

It must be because they’re trying to be friends. And maybe the fight with Sofia. It was pretty nasty the way she went at him. She couldn’t make out what they were saying, the crowd and music drowning them out. Sofia looked upset. She must have cooled off because she’s in the audience standing next to Sarah. Not that their manager would allow her to leave even if she wanted to. It would cause too much speculation online and that’s something they don’t need more of. 

She hasn’t had to protect Julio from how Rafe and her used to act on stage, during their no-talking years, they still put on an act but it was nowhere near the level of how they acted pre-everything. They were pretty heavy on the PDA, without confirming anything of course. It was more like singing into each other's mics while staring longingly into each other’s eyes. A lot of heavy petting, she would drape herself around Rafe, Rafe would swing her around and carry her. They would practically make out on stage every show. They did everything but have sex. It’s no wonder the theories and rumours started. 

Post everything that went down, they tamed it and kept it to their side of the stage unless they were switching over. They didn’t share a mic and looking at each other too long was off-limits. And now, well now, it looks like Rafe wants to sing into her mouth with the way he gets closer and closer. Julio knows about their past and he knows that she would never do anything to hurt him but this is a little much. She doesn’t want to rub anything in his face or make him feel disrespected. She also can’t diss Rafe on stage. They have an act. They’re all best friends and nothing bad has ever happened between them. 

So she plays along. And she sings into his mic, she whips her hair in his face and he sings over her shoulder. They’re closer than they’ve ever been. This should be a fun one to look at online. At some point, her shirt comes off. She’s a little angry at Rafe’s immediate switch-up. She feels that since they’re just figuring out how to be friends, he could give it a rest and not go all out. So her shirt comes off. It got stuck on the mic stand, she got pissed off that it ripped a little and she took it off, throwing it into the crowd. At some point Rafe is not even fully on the stage anymore, he’s lying down looking up at her as he plays his guitar. She’s standing over him, singing into the mic and playing the bass all while wondering what the hell has gotten into him. 

Security is going insane over Rafe hanging off the stage and people are trying to grab his legs. Sarah is diving into the crowd trying to get a shot of what’s happening on stage. She kind of wants the show to be over but at the same time, it’s the most fun she’s had on stage in a while. 

+++

Trying to find their footing after not being friends for three years, that much is clear. One moment he’s trying to make out with her onstage and the next he can barely look at her. It has been a little bit harder than she thought it would be. 

It’s strangely painful. The realization that they can’t go back to how they were before anything happened. She knew it wouldn’t be easy but these awkward silences might kill her. 

She’s sitting between Topper and Rafe, staring directly at Barry’s bored face as Ash explains who kows what. Something about which celebrities and important label heads are coming to tonight’s show. 

She didn’t care about the label heads. One of their most important shows had been the one two days ago. Their friends had all flown in from different places to see them. Now back in the city she calls home, that’s still all that matters. 

Cleo and Pope flew in from New York, John B and JJ had flown in from Hawaii. JJ would be leaving almost immediately after to continue training for the next big surf competition and John B would be staying at Sarah’s. Julio was at her house, she didn’t want him to have to spend the entire day at rehearsals so she told him to come by when he was ready. Ward was around somewhere too, probably with Sarah and John B. Kelce was at his hotel and would be arriving later with Kie after he got her from the airport, the only one that had missed the last show. It was an important show for them because of their people not because of some random celebrity they didn’t know. 

After the show, they would go to one of their favourite bars to celebrate and then she would be off to North Carolina for a week before moving to Madrid for the foreseeable future.

She was so excited to be there a bit before Julio started filming so they could visit his friends and family. 

After Ash is done running them through the guest list, they have some downtime before their private soundcheck and the fan soundcheck. Fan Soundcheck is her favourite because they get to play some deep cuts and answer some fun questions.

They’re standing backstage as one of their stagehands announces they’ll be out in three minutes. They’re standing in a circle making sure that their in-ears are on. Barry and Topper bickering about some random thing.

“Ready, buddy?” She looks at Rafe, her eyebrow raised as Barry laughs. 

“Buddy? Good one.” Topper laughs as Rafe’s face turns red. 

“Okay yeah, I’ll never say that again.”

“Please,” she laughs, “let’s go.” She leads the guys onto the stage as their fans start screaming. 

They play a song right off the bat and then sit down for a few questions. 

Everything is going fine, the mood is great, they’re all vibing with each other on stage, it’s great. Right up until it’s not. 

“Hi, my name is Sammy, my question is for Y/N.” She smiles at the girl and waves. 

“Hi Sammy, I remember you! You saw our last show too,” she speaks into the microphone. 

“Hi! Oh my goodness yes. I drove here from San Francisco after getting tickets last minute.” The girl rambles. “Okay, so I was wondering, what are you most looking forward to doing on your break?” She mulls over the question before answering. 

“I’m going to be semi-moving to Spain for a while so probably just exploring the city.” Sammy nods and thanks her as the mic is passed to the next person.  

Something shifts on stage after that question. She doesn’t know if she missed something or what, but suddenly the mood is tense. Barry’s in between her and Rafe and she can still feel the tension coming off him in waves. 

After the last question, they played one more song and bid the fans goodbye, telling them they would see them in a few hours for the show. 

Barry goes and does whatever Barry does before a show, Rafe storms off and Topper follows him. She looks over at her guitar tech who just shrugs his shoulders and takes her guitar from her. 

She texts Julio asking when he will be getting to the arena. When she doesn’t receive an answer, she sits in the green room, with no idea where the boys are. 

She dozes off for an hour before her phone blows up with texts from Rafe. She opens Julio’s message first, telling her that he would leave her house in an hour. Then she goes to Rafe’s texts, saying something along the lines of needing to talk to her. She sees that she has notifications from Twitter as well and opens those. From Rafe too. 

“I need you”

“Please don’t go”

“Y/N”

What is he doing? They just talked about trying to be friends, she knows about his feelings but he can’t go around blowing up her phone. He’s just sad about Sofia, how could he expect her to stay after he confessed to her that he still had feelings for his ex who wasn’t really his ex? 

She asks him what he’s doing and he asks to meet her. She tells him no, and that it’s too late to d this. Too late in the day, too late because the show is about to start, and too late because she’s going and she doesn’t want him. 

After telling Cleo to haul ass to the arena. Needing to speak to her about the Rafe of it all. She runs to the bus to hide. She doesn’t want to see him so she’ll avoid the arena. 

She doesn’t think about how if he doesn’t find her inside, he’ll look for her on the bus. 

“Y/N?” She hears him call. She’s in her bunk, curtain drawn and holding her breath. He walks closer and stands in front of her bunk. She can see his shadow. 

“I know you’re in there.” She stays quiet still. “Please talk to me.” She sighs, not able to deny him when he sounds so sad. 

She draws the curtain open and meets his eyes. 

“We talked about this.”

“No, we talked about how I would try to be your friend. Not how you’re going to move away with your boyfriend.”

“What did you expect me to do? Sit at home alone for however long the break ends up being?”

“No, I thought we could hang out when we were both home and repair our friendship or whatever.”

“Rafe, I can’t do that. I won’t put my life on hold for you anymore.”

“Why are you doing this? Why can’t you just feel the same way? Why won’t you love me?” 

She’s surprised by his words. For the first time, she looks at him. Takes in his dishevelled appearance, his jittering hands, and the dilation of his pupils. 

“Are you high?” she swings herself off her bed to get as much distance between them as possible. 

“No.” He’s lying. 

“What the fuck Rafe? Why would you do this to yourself?”

“Because I’m fucking sad okay? And I don’t want to feel anything.” She can’t believe he would go down this road again,  after being clean for so long. She can’t believe he would be around her like this. Not when he knows how many bad memories it brings.

“You have to leave. You have to get away from me.”

“Y/N.” His voice cracks.

“No. You know my history, the shit I have been through because of drugs. You know it very well actually. I don’t need to be around your erratic behaviour. It’s triggering, it hurts me.” Her voice is firm. 

“Okay. I’m sorry.” he backs up turning around quickly and storming off the bus. 

She sits back down, her hands slightly shaking. If he’s using again, she doesn't know if she can have him in her life. 

+++

He’s happy Sarah’s the one that finds him. He’s spread out on the floor. The curtain covers him from the fans' curious eyes. The stage is quiet, with only a few people coming and going. The rest of the crew’s at dinner. 

“What are you doing?” She stares from above him.

“Laying.” He mumbles

“Are you not going to come eat dinner?” She points behind her in the direction of the lunch room.

“Not hungry.”

“What’s wrong?

“Sad.” He sees the annoyance at his one-word answers cross her face. 

“Rafe, full sentences please.”

“Y/N told me to go away. That she couldn’t be around me.” She crouches down next to him. 

“I thought you two were trying to be friends?” she questions. 

“I ruined it.” He can feel himself well up. 

“How?”

“By being high.”

“You are not.” she kneels left to him now, grabbing his face roughly and bringing it so his eyes are aligned with hers. 

“I am.” She looks angry at him. He feels tears start to gather. God, why does he make the women he cares most about in his life so upset?

“You can’t be high. You’re an addict.”

“Just weed. Nothing more.”

“I don’t care if it’s just weed. It’s not just weed for you. It’s a slippery slope. You go from weed to forgetting you’re sober, to cocaine.”

“I’m sorry.” The pity in her look makes his stomach twist.

“Let’s go get you cleaned up before the show. You need food and to sober up.”

“I’ll be sad though.” She stands up, extending her hand out for him to take. 

“You’re high and sad, I don’t think it helped.”

“That’s what the cocaine is for.” He jokes, it doesn’t earn him a laugh, just a scowl.

“Don’t even joke about that.”

Maybe he can get drunk after the show, then he’ll forget how sad he is. 

+++

The show goes off without a hitch. They are all smiles, dripping with sweat as they take the final bow of the tour. Tears are prickling her eyes as she looks over at Topper. His smile was big and shining. She looks at Rafe and he’s messing with Barry’s hair, a burst of laughter leaving him as Barry jumps on his back. Barry waves to the crowd as Rafe piggybacks him off. Topper grabs her hand and pulls her off the stage, waving one last time before they can’t be seen anymore. 

Julio waits for her, a huge grin on his face and his arms wide open for her to run into. Once she lets go of him, she hugs Cleo and then Pope, and then she’s tackled by JJ, Kie, and John B. 

“You all killed it!” JJ yells in her ear, making her jolt back. 

“Fucking best show we’ve ever played!” Topper screams, coming up to her and hugging her. Barry joins the hug putting his sweaty arms around them both. Rafe hesitantly joins the group hug. 

“Another successful tour,” he says, his eyes catching hers in the huddle. She smiles softly. 

“Let’s go party!” Kie screams from down the hallway where she’s started to walk away. 

Everyone starts cheering and following her lead. She finds Julio’s hand as they make their way to gather their stuff and leave the arena. 

+++

He spots Julio come in through the back doors of the club, Y/N hanging off his arm, her lips swollen. His eyes soften when he looks at her. He sees how much he loves her, and how he would never hurt her. He would go to the ends of the world for her. And he hates him. He can’t stand that she’s not hanging off his arm. That he’s not the one kissing her against a brick wall outside a sleazy bar. 

Sofia’s gone. They’re done. And he’s hurting for the relationship that he could have had if he had let go of Y/N. Not that he ever could have. It wasn’t in the cards for him. A world where he wasn’t irrevocably in love with her didn’t exist. 

“You okay?” Sarah comes up next to him, planting her hands on the table to steady herself. 

“I’m high again.” He confesses. 

“Rafe, we talked about this.”

“I get that I just can’t stop. Everything hurts.” They look of pity from earlier returns.

“You need to stop.” He looks past her to where Y/N is.

“It’s just weed.”

“You don’t get to do weed. It’s not just weed to you. Slippery slope remember?

“I know.” 

“I’m here for you. I think you need to go back to rehab. Either before you tour or after. It needs to be sooner rather than later.  I’ll drive you there myself.” She offers. 

The idea of going back to rehab irks him. He’s not as bad as he was last time. He has control over it. At least that’s what he tells himself. 

“I don’t know how to be okay watching her be with someone else.” Sarah looks behind her at Y/N with Julio. Her smile lit up the room. Her laugh was music to his ears. 

“You don’t get to break down about this. You made your choice. Let her be happy. you need to focus on staying sober, you heal, and you move on.” 

“How?” He can’t rip his eyes away from the couple. Wishing with everything in him that it was him with her.

“By being her friend, Rafe.” She pats him on the back. He watches as she follows Topper out the back door where Y/N and Julio had come through earlier. 

Everything he and Sarah talked about flies out the window when Julio of all people see him standing there with a little bag full of who knows what that Barry gave him. Barry’s drunk and high, that’s one of the only reasons he gave it to him. Barry would kill him any other time. 

He’s been toying around with the idea of just doing it. Taking all these pills and getting it over with. 

“You probably shouldn’t take those.” Rafe side glances at him but doesn’t speak.”

“If you’re doing that shit you shouldn’t be around her.” Rafe doesn’t like him and he likes him even less when he tells him if he can or can’t be around Y/N.

“Mind your business.” He barks out.

“This is my business, you know why? Because she’s my business. And she’s a recovering addict too, Rafe. Or did you forget?” He shrugs. 

“Look, I don’t care if you care about your sobriety. But we both know you care about her enough not to risk hers. So if you’re going to do that shit, don’t bring it around her. And stay away from her.” This is the angriest he has ever heard the dark-haired man. 

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do on my tour with my friends.”  Deep down he knows Julio’s right. Right now he doesn’t care what the man says. He wants to fight him. 

“Do whatever the hell you want with yourself, I’m asking you to please, stay away from Y/N if you’re going to do drugs.”

“So you’re isolating her now too.”

“What does that mean?” Julio looks at him, one eyebrow raised, lips tight.

“You’re going to take her away. You’re taking her away from her family and her friends, to live in a country where she knows nobody. What kind of boyfriend does that?” 

“I’m taking her away from you, right?” 

“Yeah, you are.” The words spill from him before he can even think of denying them. 

“She isn’t anyone’s to take away. She makes her own decisions and she chose to be with me.” Julio saying shit like that makes him feel like he thinks he’s the best option. The best man out there.

“Shut up. You’re not better than me just because you say that stuff.”

“I’m not better than anyone, just let her be.” He doesn’t say anything. Julio stands up.

“You had your chance. Let her go.” He stays quiet. Julio starts to walk away. 

“I can’t.” He sees as Julio’s steps stutter.

“I’m going to fight for her.” 

“There’s nothing left to fight for.” He walks away. Back into her arms. Where he wishes he could be.

+++

The two weeks back home in Kildare were filled with press and interviews. Filled with people asking them when the next album was and when they would be back. He was scheduled to go to rehab after two weeks back home but due to scheduling, they had to move his tour up. Y/N was already in Spain. She spent a bit of time with her family, made sure everything was good and then flew off to Europe, taking his heart with her.

They were okay again, he had explained that he would go to rehab and try to get himself under control again. She told him that she was proud of him and that she wished him all the best. She told him that she wouldn’t be able to make it to his first show but that she would be there for his last. She hugged him goodbye on her last day on the island and told him that he would see her soon. 

The engagement scare still circulated in his brain. He’s so afraid that she would get engaged while she was away and he would truly lose her forever. Whenever he thought about it he felt like throwing up. 

One month. One month and he would see her again. 

+++

She stayed with Julio’s family for three weeks in Madrid before they had to go to Valencia where he had to film. She liked being in Madrid the most because she knew how to get around and she could stay at Julio’s house. In Valencia, they’re staying in a hotel so she doesn’t have the comfort of her things. She’ll go to the set with him most of the time but other times they are such long shoots she’d rather do anything else. She wants to explore but she’s so directionally challenged she’s scared to get lost and never return, her map couldn’t even save her sometimes. 

Julio cooks for her every day, he teaches her how to cook some dishes he learned in his classes, they write songs together, and she runs songs by him which turns into them taking turns serenading each other. They drunkenly kiss under street lights and dance in the rain. She’s never felt happier, ever been so in love. 

A month in and she’s back in Los Angeles where Rafe’s playing his last show. She’s excited to be here for him but she’s counting down the hours until she can go back to Spain. 

When she gets home she checks to see that her house hasn’t been broken into and that all pipes are still in place. Her worst nightmare is returning to a flooded house. It all seems normal, she opens a few windows to air it out. Penny’s back in Spain with Julio so she feels extra alone. 

She texts Rafe that she’s back in town and he texts her back within a minute. 

“Thank you for coming, angel.” She smiles at the nickname and responds,

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

He sees her and his world stops. Her hair is in loose waves and it looks a little longer than when he had last seen her. His heart reaches out to her, begging to be in her presence. Sarah notices him there standing like an idiot and waves him over, the motion grabbing Y/N’s attention. 

“Hey,” he says walking over.

“Hi!” She says putting her arms out to him, she goes on her tippy toes to reach him. 

“How are you?” He asks her, slowly letting go. 

“I’m good! Jetlagg is kicking my ass, but happy to be here! Look at you, rockstar.” She has a wide smile on her face that makes him feel like he’s seeing the sun for the first time.

“Yeah,” he laughs a little, scratching the back of his neck, shy all of a sudden.

“I heard a little rumour that Sofia was around?”

“I invited her to a show, extending a branch and all and we talked but that ship has sailed.”

“Are you on good terms?”

“I think we could be better, but it’s okay, I’m not holding my breath.” She links her arm with his, he looks at where their arms connect and feels like he’s on fire. How is he ever going to get over her?

+++

Rafe is amazing. He’s in a class of his own when he’s up on stage giving the show of a lifetime. It makes her tear up. She can’t help but think how he almost gave this all up when they were younger. She can’t imagine him anywhere but the stage. If he were working for his dad, his star would be caged. She’s so happy she could be a small part of his journey. He deserves the world. 

For the first time since they started talking again, she feels like they can go back to normal. She loves him. She can have her best friend back. 

+++

She doesn’t know how fast everything can fall apart. It’s perfect. Too perfect. She should have known that the other shoe would drop sooner or later. That’s how her life goes. She should have known she couldn’t have everything she wants. Things get ripped away eventually.

Rafe and Topper had mentioned that there were rumours they might have to go on a festival run. She hasn’t heard anything from their manager or their label. She likes the idea of a festival run, it could get them playing in front of people who don’t know who they are and expose them to new crowds.

She misses performing, she knows this would cut her time in Spain short. Much shorter than anticipated. She’s supposed to be there for almost seven months, with a bit of travelling back and forth until Julio finishes filming and they can stay in New York for a while. 

She’s only been here for three months. It’s been so nice to be back with Julio full time, and get to do normal couple things after work. She doesn’t know how she’ll break the news to him. She chooses not to until she knows for sure. 

The peace is short-lived. 

“What is this?” Julio holds up the phone for her to take. She grabs his phone and looks at Boston Calling’s festival lineup. She reads trying to see what he’s talking about and finally finds what he’s asking about. Saturday, May 8th: Kildare Split B stage. 

“I promise I didn’t know anything about this.” She tries to reassure him.

“That’s in two weeks.” He says to her, she feels the emotion in his voice.

“I know. I’ll talk to them.” She gives him his phone back and wraps her arms around him. 

“I’m sorry.” They stay wrapped up in each other, silence overtaking them.

+++

“Ash, no one told me. I just thought I had more time.”

“There’s nothing we can do, we have the contract, you’re expected here.” She slides her hand over her face and sighs. 

“Okay. That’s fine, but I’m leaving right after, no press.”

“Y/N, that’s not the only festival. You’ll be doing stops all spring and summer.” Her stomach drops. 

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” 

“I’m sorry. The label will make no exceptions. You have to be here for every show.”

+++

She cries in Julio’s arms about having to leave so soon. He tells her it’s okay and that it’s nothing that they aren’t used to. She hates being used to being so far from him. She already misses him. 

They try to get back to normal for the remainder of the time but something shifts. She can’t quite place it. She doesn’t know if it’s her or if it’s him. It feels off. For the first time since they met, it feels like they’re orbiting around different stars. 

They’re returning to their apartment from lunch with one of his co-stars when her world starts to crack. She knows what he’s thinking before he even says it out loud. His eyes are sad and she can read him. She’s never hated him a day since they met. Not until now. She tries to distract herself, tries changing the subject, she tells him she’s going to shower and get ready for bed. 

In the shower, she tries to scrub away the doubt and rubs at her skin to try and rid herself of the feeling. Impending doom. The world ending. A black hole fiding her universe and destroying it before she can do anything to stop it. 

When she gets out of the shower he’s sitting on the edge of their bed facing her, she’s still trying to avoid it, she kisses his cheek and turns away. He stops her from walking away by grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him. She doesn’t face him. She can’t.

“This is so hard.” His voice comes out hoarse.

“Then don’t do it.” 

“I love you so much it hurts.” It’s not supposed to hurt. He taught her that. 

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

“You said we could get through it. You said that it was nothing we hadn’t done.”

“I know what I said. I thought I could.”

“And now you can’t.” He looks at her, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I wish things could be different.”

“No. No. No. Stop, no, you don’t get to break up with me.” She’s screaming, the tears already spilling from her eyes. She’s never felt so crazy. And her world falls apart. She doesn’t remember a time before her life was him and her.

“Y/N. You know I love you, I would do anything for you, and this is the right thing to do.”

“No. You don’t get to choose what is right for me. I do. And I choose you. I always choose you.”

“It’s not feasible. Being away from you. It hurts too much. It hurts you and it hurts me. I can’t do 

it. My heart breaks every time you leave.”

“I’ll do anything.” Tears fall from his eyes as he gulps.

“Moving here is not realistic for you, you were supposed to be here for way longer and look, you leave in three days. I don’t blame you. It’s everything you’ve worked for and I won’t be the person that holds you back.” She’s sobbing now, she can’t see him over her tears, she’s shaking and desperate to get him to listen. To keep him. 

“I’ll quit the band.” It comes tumbling out of her mouth before she can stop it. she grabs his face and makes him look at her. “I’ll quit.” He looks at her eyes wide. 

“No.”

“Julio, please.”

“You don’t mean that, you’ll resent me and you won’t be happy and it’ll ruin us.”

“I won’t. I promise.” She’d never heard these sounds come out of her body before, so guttural and painful from somewhere deep inside her. 

“You will. You would never ask me to quit acting, would you?”

“No,” she whines, the tears flowing.

“Then how could I ask you to quit your dreams?” He’s right. She knows he is and it fucking hurts. She wants to rip her heart out. She’s never felt pain like this and she wishes she could have never met him. 

That’s not true, the thought of never having him in her life hurts. No matter how painful this moment is, the realization that their relationship is over is, she would never take back the years she spent with him. He showed her what it meant to be loved. How it felt to be seen and wanted. He taught her selflessness in love. She would never take it back. She needs to numb the pain. 

She falls into his arms, her face on his chest as she cries and cries. He holds her like he never wants to let go and cries with her. God how she wishes she could live another life. How she wishes they could be other people. In another life, she thinks. In another life. 

He’s what she wants, but she’s not what he needs. Because she’s hurting him. She’s been hurting him and he can’t put up with it anymore. She’s not worth it.

She books her flight for that night. Not wanting to prolong their inevitable goodbye. She watches as he closes the door to his apartment. The last time she’ll be here. They hold hands on the way down to his car and then as he drives her to the airport where he kisses her for the last time. Kisses her goodbye. And she gets on the plane and cries all the way home. The flight attendant keeps bringing her water and the people around her are whispering. She closes the curtains around her pod. Her eyes focus on the sides of the window as the frost builds like little spider webs reaching out to her.

She loves him. She loves him. She can’t believe this.

+++

She gets to her house. Penny next to her. She sets her stuff down next to the door and collapses into a pile of skin, bone, and numbness. Her heart missing. Her heart was somewhere back in Spain with the boy he dragged her out of her isolation and brought her back to life. How could she ever be okay again?

She doesn’t leave her house or her bed until the day she has to be on a flight to Boston. She has about 100 missed calls and a billion unopened text messages. She doesn’t care to talk to anyone. Doesn’t want to explain the breakup. 

+++

She can feel herself isolating. To the way, things were before him. She’s in a room full of people and she feels the most alone she’s ever been. She waves everyone off, not giving them a second glance. She marches on stage, she plays the show with a missing heart. Pretending she’s okay. The band sees right through her, the fans don’t know better. 

Everyone is worried about her. Ash forces her to come out with the band and crew. She’s probably scared she’ll overdose if she’s on her own. All the telltale signs of how she used to be. They’re keeping an eye on her. 

She doesn’t feel like she’s in her body, she’s floating through life right now. She walks out onto the balcony, needing fresh air. 

Everyone’s dancing as she sits on the balcony and stares at the night sky. The wind makes goose bumps rise on her skin. She feels another tear try and escape her eye. She blinks it away before it can. She’s so tired of crying all the time. 

“Hey, you.” Topper steps out into the crisp air. 

“Hey,” she whispers, trying to cover that she’s been crying. 

“You okay?”

“No.”

“It’ll be okay. Sometimes love just doesn’t last. It happens and it’ll pass.”

“We didn’t break up because we didn’t love each other. If the distance didn’t exist I would still be with him. I would choose him over and over again but I was hurting him and in turn, I was hurting myself and neither of us expected or would accept the other quitting their dream jobs to move. So we’re done and it fucking hurts, Top. I saw forever with him. I haven’t felt that way about anyone ever. Part of me thinks that one day, when we’re both settled and not chasing the next best thing, we’ll be together.” She’s choking up, tears spilling over.

“Come here,” he opens his arms to her and she falls into them, “I’m here for you.” she looks over his shoulder to where Rafe is with their friends. 

“For now I just want to drink and cry and sleep for three weeks. I want the pain to stop. I don’t want to feel.” She pulls back from Topper, grabbing his arm and dragging him back inside. 

She would forget. At least for tonight.

+++

Her head pounds in the morning. She would blame all the crying she’s been doing but it’s mostly the alcohol. Cleo would kill her if she knew how much she was drinking again. She opens her eyes and looks around the half-lit room, the morning sun peeking through the curtains. The curtains are on the wrong side of the room. She looks around some more and notices clothes thrown on the floor. Men’s clothes. This isn’t her room. 

She remembers bits of the night before, kissing and touching in the elevator ride, the fight to find his room key, looking into his blue eyes and forgetting the name of the man with the brown eyes. At least for a moment. She blinks as if that would stop the headache.  

“Shit.” She hears from beside her. She slowly turns her head until her eyes meet the blue eyes staring back at her. 

“Top.”

“Fuck.”

[thebibliosphere]

Hi there, ive come from your post about ADHD and emotional disregulation, firstly thank you so much for putting it into words, its such a complicated part of how i deal with emotions and i havent ever been able to articulate how to why.

Secondly, in that post you mentioned how you've used stress as a motivator and how eventually your stress regualtion broke, i was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about that? (If not, its not a problem)

I feel like the same thing has happened to me but until i read your post i had no idea that something had... snapped? I suppose? I struggle with motivation all the time and in the past id have a week or a few days left and id be able to suddently push myself very hard to complete whatever it is before the deadline, just barely making it in most cases. However now it seems that i can't find that motivation anymore, deadlines come and pass and i can't being myself to work on anything, and i just end up spiralling into shame and guilt. That motivation was the only thing that I was able to rely on sometimes for things like uni, and i conviced myself that it was just me growing lazy or trying to get out of responsibility as to why the "last minute panic-mode" doesnt work anymore.

Again, if you don't wanna tackle this can of worms or if it's something youd rather not post online i totally get it, its no biggie! thanks so much for making the original post as well, it means a lot

Hello friend, thanks for the message. I'm sorry you're also dealing with this.

The good news here is that I've already talked about this using the rubber band analogy my therapist gave me. (Stress is like a Rubber Band)

If you don't have the mental bandwidth to read all of it now, the tl;dr is "stress is like a rubber band; it can stretch to hold numerous things in place when you need to, but if you do it too often or keep adding more and more strain under the band, the elastic eventually becomes brittle and snaps, taking your mental and sometimes physical health with it too."

I've been in intensive therapy for this for roughly three years now, and trying to piece my brain back together after my last bout of stress-induced productivity gave me a total mental breakdown.

It's... odd not being able to use stress and having to actively avoid it to avoid a relapse. But it is doable. Medication would help, but alas, I've got weird health issues and am unmedicated at the minute.

(And just in case that sparks anyone to go, "Oh, you do all this unmedicated! Wow, that's so inspiring!" as sometimes parents do to me on here as they then tell me they don't want to medicate their kids, I've unfortunately also written a post about what that kind of success looks like from an unmedicated perspective and the kind of suicidal ideation I deal with on the regular because I cannot take meds. It is not pleasant reading, but it is necessary for some folks, specifically anti-med, "if you just tried harder" people.)

A book you may find helpful is Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. It was very validating for me to read about other people going through the same things, and made me feel less of a "this is a personal failing on my part" and more of a "Oh okay yeah, no stress literally breaks people."

It helped soothe some of my own internalized "I just need to try harder" and helped cement me on the path I was already going down with my ADHD therapist toward changing how I view myself and how I manage my ADHD.

I hope that helps! If you've got more specific questions or I didn't touch on something in my old post, I can try to answer them :)

[cherryc1nnam0n]

Hey! How are you? I discovered your account today and read a couple of your Stranger Things characters HCs and let me tell you, I adored them! I was wondering if you could do some Eddie Munson HCs, maybe even some soft NSFW HCs as a couple for a female reader who is part of the popular girls group at school (although she doesn’t bother the others, she just tends to ignore them) and is usually very feminine both in her clothes and in her attitudes.

I would love to see a combination like that since they seem to be totally opposite poles! However, you can take your time of course😅

Anyway, good luck with your activities outside of Tumblr, I really enjoy your posts!💕(⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

Awwww whoever you are I love you!! This made me genuinely smile for once

Now feed my child

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More Eddie Munson HC's

Cw: Fluff, random thoughts, mentions of people being mean to Eddie, NSFW content

Sweaty palms because boi has anxiety

Maybe he's a little bit autistic? Who knows? He might be...

Hates the feeling of knitted sweaters (keeps them but never wears them because they itch his bones)

Plays a lot with his rings

At school he always stares at you, but then you catch his staring so he tries to run away

One time he tried to run but slammed right into his open locker door

Embarrassing...

You laugh at least

You're always around the popular girls that try and make fun of him but you shut them down without making it seem like you have a crush on him, because you definitely don't *wink wink*

He likes that you're ultra mega super girly and that you keep yourself tidy and kept together

He loves the smell of your perfume when you walk by, it hypnotizes him

He also likes that you did not get into cheerleading but are in the band instead, making friends with the cheerleaders was easy since you met them since you were kids, mostly Chrissy

He loves your skirts with lace and bows

He thinks you don't like him because we'll, you're si feminine and he's well, Eddie..

He's so wrong

He's always wrong

Always!

NSFW:

You lost your virginity to him in the back of his van

It was surprisingly soft

But his dick wasn't *drum sound*

When you guys graduated you started dating more openly and would go on dates together that would end up in rough sex at his house or your's

He hates condoms so you had to get on the pill so he could cum inside you as much as he wanted

His favorite position is the mating press, he's a freak, what did you expect?

Again, big dick Eddie knows how to rearrange your guts

[sapphire-writes]

Bandaids & Butterflies (modern hospital AU)

Do No Harm part 2 || masterlist || next part

pairing: doctor!Aemond Targaryen x doctor!Reader

summary: Your week continues at Citedal General. You try to figure out what ails Cece Lannister while tensions rise between you and Aemond.

word count: 4.1k

disclaimer: yall, I am not a doctor, I am simply a Grey's Anatomy stan. If something is off or incorrect please just suspend your disbelief! I am trying my best to make it as accurate as possible but its just for fun!!

warnings below the cut!

warnings: medical terminology, medications, CT scan, blood, infectious diseases referencing spicy times but nothing explicit in this chapter

dividers by the lovely @firefly-graphics

“What happened to you?” little Cece Lannister says when you walk into her room the following day, “You look terrible.”

There’s something about kids; like they’ve been force-fed truth serum and have to say the first thought that comes to their mind. You cock your head to the side, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. 

“Cerelle,” her mother hisses, cheeks red at her daughter’s brutal honesty. 

“What?” Cece says, eyebrows creasing together, “She does.”

“It’s okay, really,” you tell Mrs. Lannister, as she scolds her daughter again, “Maybe I should get a bed next to you.”

Cece shakes her head, golden curls vibrating as she does. Her hospital gown hangs too big, drooping off her thin shoulders. You wonder if she’s been eating much more than the ice cream they serve after dinner. 

“No roommates, please. I like my alone time; I get to choose whatever station I want,” she says smiling, holding the remote control to the television on the wall. 

“How’re you feeling this morning Cece?” you ask, reaching for the chart that hangs at the foot of her bed. 

The nurses of Citadel General are on top of everything; without them, the hospital would not be able to function. You flip through her chart, eyes scanning her nighttime vitals. 

“Okay,” Cece says, tugging the ear of her stuffed lion.

“I see they increased her muscle relaxant,” you note, “Did you have a hard time sleeping?”

“She always does but I think the spasms are getting worse, especially at night,” Mrs. Lannister says, concerned in her voice. 

“Are you gonna have a scar?” Cece chimes in, pointing to her temple, mirroring where your stitches are.

“Cece-”

“Probably not,” you tell her, giving Mrs. Lannister a small smile, “The doctors here are pretty good you know.”

Cece leans over in her bed, pulling out a small toy doctor kit. 

“I’m a good doctor too,” she says, rummaging through the bag, “Tyrion has had extensive surgical procedures.”

She points at her stuffed lion, and you suddenly notice the different array of bandages and band-aids covering the golden fur. 

“Oh has he?” you ask, as Cece pats the bed beside her. You move to sit on the edge of the bed, holding her chart across your lap.

“Yes,” Cece says, holding out an assortment of bandaids for you to choose from, “I’ll let you choose. I like pink the best.”

You smile, pointing at the pink bandaid with yellow paw prints decorating it. Cece smiles, approving your choice. She peels the backing before pressing the bandage over your stitches, gently pressing on the edges to make sure it sticks.

“There, much better,” she tells you.

“Thank you, Dr. Lannister,” you tell her, which causes her to smile.

“There she is!” Jace calls as you arrive at the nurses' station. His face scrunches as he looks at your forehead, “Nice bandaid.”

“Thanks,” you say, touching the pink bandage, “Courtesy of Cece Lannister. You run that CT scan for her yesterday?”

“You mean after the ruckus you caused?” Jace asks, leaning against the nurses' station, “No, Baratheon put me in the pit. Which is probably where I will stay for the rest of my life.”

“Did anyone get a CT?” you ask, frowning at his theatrics. 

“Um after you left Cory was supposed to cover her labs and stuff,” Jace tells you, “I’d ask her she’ll know-”

“Know what,” Sara says, placing a handful of clipboards between you, “I’ve been on scut duty all morning. Does anyone know why Baratheon is in such a foul mood?”

“Fouler than usual?” Nettles says, stepping up beside you. 

“I’m not sure if I’m able to determine that,” Sara says, groaning, “But she definitely seems angry.”

“Excuse me! Excuse me!” Cory says, weaving through residents, holding two coffee cups above her head, “Seven hells, doesn’t anyone know how to walk in this place?”

“Apparently not,” Nettles comments, as Cory holds a coffee out to you. 

“For you. Figured you’d need the extra caffeine,” she says as you take the cup. Her smile turns down into a frown, “What is on your head?”

You roll your eyes. This is clearly going to be a whole-day occurrence. 

“Interns!” Dr. Baratheon’s voice calls out, and you all turn, straightening yourselves. 

Dr. Baratheon looks down at her clipboard, before bringing her steely blue eyes to look at the five of you. She sighs, flipping through her pages. 

“Martell, now that Dr. Y/L/N is back I want you to assist me on Lyonel Beesbury’s Whipple this afternoon; You can write that on the board,” she says, nodding to herself. 

Cory lets out a soft ‘yes’ before quickly rushing across the hallway. Nettles’ jaw tightens and you can tell she’s disappointed to have not been asked. 

“Waters I want you shadowing Dr. Targaryen today in pediatrics, Dr. Y/L/N you may join her,” Baratheon continues.

Targaryen.

Your heart lurches.

“Dr. Baratheon, I’m supposed to get Cece Lannister that CT scan,” you tell her, as she raises a brow.

“That’s fine. After that bring it to Dr. Targaryen up on peds, she’ll be interested in seeing it,” Dr. Baratheon says, returning her gaze to her clipboard.

“She?” you ask the question leaving your mouth before you can stop it.

Dr. Baratheon sighs, placing her clipboard across her stomach. Her eyebrows lift toward her hairline, blue eyes fiery.

“Yes, she,” Dr. Baratheon quips, “Was there someone else you thought I was referring to?”

“No ma’am,” you say, shaking your head. 

“Good,” she says, eyes moving past you, “Snow, Velaryon, you’re in the pit.”

Sara and Jace audibly groan. Baratheon gives them a stern look which stops their complaining.

“No drama today,” she says sternly, “Understood?” 

You all murmur words of agreement, and Dr. Baratheon brings her eyes back to your face; they flicker up to your forehead. 

“Take that thing off,” she comments, shaking her head and walking down the hall.

“She’s right. You look silly,” Nettles tells you.

“I can’t take it off, it was a gift from a sick kid. You know how much bad luck that will bring me?” you tell her, walking down the hallway.

“Speaking of bad luck,” Nettles says, smiling, “When are you going to tell me about how you know Dr. Sexy?”

“Dr. Sexy?” you say through a laugh, “Not the greatest name.”

“Girl but he is sexy,” she says fanning herself, “Guy’s name should be McDreamy.”

“McDreamy, Dr. Sexy, it’s nothing,” you tell her, “We….we may have hooked up. Once! That’s it and it was before I knew he worked here.”

“You bad girl,” Nettles hisses, though she’s smiling; her eyes bright, “How was it? Does McDreamy live up to his name?”

“Literally the best sex of my life,” you tell her, “But we already decided it can’t happen again.”

“What?” she says, her smile dropping, “It’s not like he’s your boss, he’s a coworker! People fuck coworkers!”

“What happened to not shitting where you eat?” you tell her.

“Girl you already did, might as well see it through! Especially if he’s that good,” she says, leaning closer, “Just….how good, if I may be so bold.”

You wet your lips, trying to fight your smile.

“Five orgasms good,” you admit and Nettles squeals loudly, jaw dropping.

“That does it,” she says, “You’re getting Dr. Sexy back. Do it for me.”

“Don’t you need to get to peds?” you ask, “And see…Dr. Targaryen?”

“Yeah I noted your confusion around that,” she says with a sigh, “Dr. B was talking about Dr. Helaena Targaryen. You know, renowned pediatric surgeon? She does fabulous research on infectious diseases as well; she came and spoke once when I was in med school about…”

Your mind trails off as Nettles speaks, still focused on Aemond. You hadn’t seen him today and yet he was all you could think about. Since dropping you at home you hadn’t spoken, besides the text he sent you. The door couldn’t still be open. Could it?

“...especially in the southern climates like the Summer Isles, Sothoryos, and Naath..are you listening to me?” Nettles says, punching your shoulder slightly, “Right. Anyway, Sounds like you’re boning her brother.”

“Brother?” you ask, connecting the dots, “Shit. He did say he moved back here for family. But a family full of doctors?”

“You really don’t know anything, do you?” Nettles says, shaking her head, “Sorry. That sounded mean. But the Targaryens are like a huge deal in the medical world.”

“I mean, I’ve seen names on research,” you admit, “And maybe a Ted Talk or two but….I mean I didn’t even know his last name when we…I didn’t realize..”

“You’d come straight into the lion’s pit?” Nettles says with a chuckle, “It’s okay, girl. But I’m giving you some homework. Seriously, look them up. Learn a thing or two.”

“I can’t google Aemond,” you tell her, “It’s just…I don’t know that doesn’t feel right.”

“Understandable,” she says with a shrug, “I mean, Spark Notes version, they’re a huge name within the medical community. Big money, big name, big influence. So don’t go pissing any of them off.”

“Right,” you tell her, “Got it.”

“I’m heading to pediatrics,” Nettles says, pressing an elevator button, “See you soon?”

“Yeah,” you tell her, “Just have to get this CT and I’ll be there.”

“Cool. Later, klutz,” she teases as the doors open.

Cerelle Lannister’s CT scan takes much longer than anticipated. The wait is long and the small girl trembles when being taken into the machine, legs flailing each and every way. Only when they’re strapped down is she somewhat still enough to enter the machine. 

“I feel like a mummy,” she says when the straps are secured, “Being put in a sarcophagus.” 

“That’s pretty spooky,” you tell her with a grin.

“I like to pretend when I’m scared,” she says softly.

You reach out and take her hand.

“No need to be scared of this. The machine is just really loud, that’s all. I’ll be just outside,” you assure her.

“Okay,” she says softly, squeezing your hand. 

She does great, staying as still as she can the entire time. You praise her through the microphone and wave as the nurses escort her back to her room, wheeling her in a small wheelchair. Her stuffed lion was safely on her lap. You’ve noticed she rarely lets go of the toy. 

You sit in the room outside, watching as the scan produces results. Forehead creased, you click through the images as someone knocks on the door. You turn, smiling at Jace leaning in the doorway.

“Hey there,” you greet, “Shouldn’t you be in the pit?”

“Had to sneak away for a second,” he says, “Those Cece’s scans?”

“Yeah,” you tell him, beckoning him forward, “See that inflammation there?”

“Yeah,” he agrees, leaning forward, hands on the back of your chair, “So what’s your thinking?”

“Something bacterial,” you tell him, “I mean, there’s no sign of tissue or nerve damage, her labs are stable despite her on-and-off fevers. But it's progressing significantly. She’s having trouble sleeping due to the spasms.”

“Have you ever heard of something that causes this?” Jace asks.

“No, at least not off the top of my head,” you admit, “I’m heading to peds. Maybe Dr. Targaryen will have a better idea. Nettles says she specializes in infectious diseases.”

“Oh…..yeah,” Jace says, straightening up and rubbing the back of his neck. You frown as he tenses, his friendly disposition vanishing.

“Just an idea,” you tell him, gathering your things.

You follow him out of the room. Jace seems uneasy, he rubs at his face, and the collar of his scrubs. 

“No it’s a good one,” he agrees, “I should get back to the pit---”

“Strong,” a voice calls, sending your heart racing. 

Aemond takes several strides toward the two of you, a smug smile on his face. Something in your gut tightens, the memory of your night together burning in the back of your mind. He wore a similar expression then, one full of confidence. Goosebumps erupt on your skin. You can hear his voice from that night, as he whispered in your ear while sheathed to the hilt inside of you. 

“Who’s my good girl, hmm?”

You blink, shaking your head, trying to physically expel the memory from your mind. Your cheeks heat up and you notice Jace has turned several shades darker as well, fists clenched at his side. 

“I thought you were assigned to the pit, Strong,” Aemond asks, cocking his head to the side, “I would hate to have to tell Baratheon you’re disobeying orders.”

Aemond’s sentence hits you like a slap in the face. He’s not as cool, calm, and collected right now as he was the last time you’d seen him. He’s bordering on being cruel. You glance at Jace. 

“It’s Velaryon,” Jace says, through his teeth.

“Come again?” Aemond asks, “Don’t mumble, Jacaerys, it’s unseemly.” 

“My name,” Jace says sternly, “Velaryon.”

Aemond’s mouth quirks into an amused grin. 

“My apologies,” he says smoothly, “You’ll have to forgive me, it’s easy to forget.”

“Sure,” Jace says, nose wrinkling.

“Give my best to your dad,” Aemond says, “Whichever one, you’re choice.”

Aemond turns to you, something flickering across his eyes. 

“Dr. Y/L/N,” he says with a curt nod, before walking away, hands tucked behind his back.

Jace exhales, striding over to the elevator. You follow close behind as his pager beeps.

“What the hell was that about?” you ask, stepping inside with him.

“Nothing.”

“Jace, that wasn’t nothing.”

“He was just messing with me,” Jace insists, not meeting your eyes.

“Why was Dr. Targaryen messing with you?”

“Because he’s a narcissistic pig!”

Your eyes widen and Jace sighs, shaking his head. 

“He’s….he’s my uncle okay,” Jace admits. Your eyes widen.

“Your uncle?”

“Yes, and my side of the family doesn’t really get along with his side,” Jace says, as the doors open to your floor.

“But why-”

“Look, it doesn’t matter,” Jace says, shaking his head, “I have to go. Sara just paged, some drunk deadbeat riling everyone up downstairs.”

You step outside the elevator but turn back to him.

“I want the full story, Velaryon. Not the Cliff Notes, the whole story,” you tell him. 

“Okay!” he reluctantly agrees, “Later.”

“Tonight, Dragon’s Den, tell Sara!” you call as the doors begin to close.

“So I can air my dirty laundry to everyone?!” 

“Exactly!” you call as the doors shut. 

Turning on your heel, you head down the hall to pediatrics. You can’t wait to share the details with Nettles as you push through the double doors and head to the nurses' station. 

“Excuse me,” you ask a nurse, “Have you seen Dr. Targareyn?”

“Which one?”

“Dr. Helaena Targaryen,” you clarify.

“She was just here, she’ll roll around in a moment.”

“I’m sorry…..roll?”

Just as the question leaves your lips, the sound of wheels against linoleum is heard from down the hall. A woman in light green scrubs and a white lab coat rolls on her heels down the hallway. Nettles jogs behind her as she turns, coming to a stop in front of you. 

Her silver hair is shaggy, but the resemblance to Aemond is uncanny. A large butterfly pin holds some out of her face and she smiles brightly as you greet her. 

“Been waiting for you,” she says, holding a hand out for you to place your scans in, “Aemond told me all about you.”

You nearly choke on your saliva and Nettles’ eyes go round.

“He--he did?” you squeak.

“Mhmm,” Helaena says, flicking through the scans, “Quite the first day you had.”

“Oh right,” you say, relief washing through you.

“Glad you’re okay,” Helaena says, glancing up at you, “Nice bandaid.”

“Thanks,” you tell her.

“Cece Lannister,” she muses, “What is going on with you.”

“I was hoping you’d have thoughts,” you ask.

“Has she traveled anywhere recently?” Dr. Taragreyn asks, frowning at the scans, “You’re thinking it’s some sort of infection, correct?”

“Yes,” you tell her, “And I’m not sure about her travel history.”

“Find out,” she tells you, “If you’re going to find out what this is, you need to find out what caused it and where.”

She hands you the scans, smiling once more.

“Nice to meet you,” she says with a smile, “Officially this time.”

Your cheeks heat up. She knows. She remembers. You vaguely remember Aemond speaking with his sister before leaving; you’d barely caught a glimpse of her. 

“Yeah,” you agree, smiling weakly. 

You hurry off after that, eager to get back to Cece Lannister’s room to inquire about her recent travels. Walking down the hall you enter one of the many elevators, waiting patiently as it stops on nearly every floor, doctors coming in and out. 

Then it's just you and someone else, you look out of the corner of your eye and recognize him. 

Dr. Cole smiles at you.

“How’re you feeling?” he asks.

“Better, thanks to my cool bandaid, not the stitches and rest,” you tell him, cracking a smile.

“So cool,” he says with a laugh, “I had a kid give me a bandaid covered in oranges the other day.”

“Tropical,” you comment as the doors open.

“Good to see under better circumstances,” Dr. Cole says, beginning to exit, “Ah Dr. Targaryen.”

Your blood runs cold as Aemond enters the elevator.

“Will I be seeing you this afternoon?” Dr. Cole asks, “I’ve got an aneurysm clipping if you’re interested.”

“Always, if you’ll have me,” Aemond says, and Dr. Cole nods as the doors close. 

You’re alone. With him. Alone with him. Your heart pounds frantically in your chest, anxiety making your senses heighten. The elevator suddenly feels very small, and closed in; the air not being pushed through the vents quick enough. Aemond stares straight ahead, not looking at you and not attempting to engage in polite conversation. Your stomach sours and you swallow. 

“Hey,” you say tentatively. 

You glance at Aemond out of the corner of your eye and watch him look down at his feet. You scoff softly, annoyed by his ignoring of you. The elevator hums and your anger pools quickly in your belly; flames licking upwards to your face. 

“So you’re ignoring me now?” you ask, getting no reply, “Really mature.”

Aemond continues looking at his shoes, hands folded behind his back. 

“We’re colleagues, the least you could do is make polite conversation,” you huff, pressing the elevator button once more.

You know it won’t make it arrive quicker, but you need something to do with your hands. 

“And that whole thing with Jace?” you say, pressing the button again and again, “I don’t know what your problem is, but clearly that was an asshole move--”

Your hand is yanked away from the button, long fingers wrapping around your wrist and suddenly his lips are on yours. The hand around your wrist falls and both his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you flush against him. 

Your anger dissipates almost immediately, as you link your arms around his neck fisting the hair at the nape of his neck. The moan this causes him to release, sends your knees buckling, and he brings one hand to your ass, squeezing harshly. 

Spearmint and tea. He tastes so good, mouth so warm and soft moving against your own you can’t help but whimper as he cradles your jaw with his free hand. Desire pools in your belly, and a desperate gasp leaves your lips.

Aemond drags his lips to kiss your jaw, and your neck as his opposite hand cradles the side of your face, his thumb stroking your cheekbone. You’re so needy, so responsive to his touch, you want him so desperately, and then---

The elevator dings and you push away from each other, breathing heavily as the doors open and more residents and attendings enter. You quickly get your bearings springing out of the elevator and onto your floor. 

“Y/N!” Aemond calls, walking after you. 

Your pager goes off just as he reaches you, and you squint down at it. 

“Code White Cerelle Lannister,” you tell him, going numb with shock, “I just saw her-”

“Go,” Aemond says, before turning to a nurse, “That’s a medical emergency, page Dr. Helaena Targaryen!”

You hurry down the hallway, breaking out into a run as you enter Cerelle’s room. Dr. Baratheon is there already, Mrs. Lannister sobbing holding onto Cece’s stuffed lion. Cece’s sheets are soaked with sweat as she thrashes. 

Not sweat.

Blood.

It’s as if Cece is sweating blood. 

“Hematidrosis,” Dr. Baratheon says, readying a syringe, “Push one of epi.”

“Cece it’s gonna be okay,” you tell her, as Dr. Baratheon hands you the syringe. 

Cerelle’s eyes are wide, tears streaming down her face leaving clear rivers through his red-tinged cheeks. 

You give her the epinephrine. Slowly but surely her sweating ceases, and her forehead begins to dry. Her legs spasm, stronger than before. She’s getting worse. 

“Mrs. Lannister,” Dr. Baratheon says, trying to console the weeping woman, “Mrs. Lannister it’s alright. While Hematidrosis is quite disturbing, it’s not serious.”

“Not serious?!” Mrs. Lannister says in a shrill voice, eyes wide, “My daughter is sweating blood, and you’re telling me it’s not serious?”

“Paged,” Dr. Targareyn says entering the room, “Dr. Baratheon.”

“Mrs. Lannister, this is Dr. Helaena Targaryen, one of our pediatric surgeons and infectiology specialists.”

“Infecto..what?” Mrs. Lannister says as Helaena moves around Cece’s bed. 

Cece’s eyes are panicked and she holds onto your wrist with a vice-like grip.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” you tell her, “Dr. Targaryen is just checking on you.”

Helaena brings out a penlight, instructing Cece to follow it with her eyes.

“Mrs. Lannister, have you traveled anywhere recently?” she asks, continuing her assessment. 

“Um,” Mrs. Lannister struggles to find words, placing a hand on her forehead and closing her eyes, “Yes. We got back a couple of weeks ago.”

“Where?”

“Naath. It was Cece’s idea, she’d been reading about the flora and fauna, she’s such a bright kid she loves all that stuff,” Mrs. Lannister says through tears.

Helaena smiles at Cece.

“I like that stuff too,” she tells the young girl, “Cece, what did you see on your trip? Any cool plants, bugs, animals?”

“L-lots,” Cece answers shakily, still holding on to you tightly.

“Tell me about them.”

“Um well…they’re famous for their butterflies,” Cece tells her, “They’re huge.”

“They are,” Helaena confirms, “I’ve never seen them in person, but I’d like to. Did you touch any butterflies?”

“Yes, but I washed my hands! Right after!”

“What color was the butterfly you touched?”

“There were so many--”

“Try and remember, the ones you know you touched.”

“Blue…..green…..one that was black and white,” she says teary-eyed, “Did the butterfly hurt me?”

“It didn’t mean to,” Helaena says softly, “They don’t know any better.”

“Butterfly fever. It’s a bacterial infection spread in Naath,” Helaena says to you and Dr. Baratheon outside Cece’s room, “She’ll need a routine of antibiotics, I can consult with my team on a proper regime.”

She turns to you.

“Good work,” she praises, “Butterfly fever can get pretty nasty. Skin sloughing off, and so forth.”

“She’s right, Y/L/N,” Dr. Baratheon praises, “Good work.”

“Thanks,” you tell her. 

After establishing Cece’s antibiotic treatment and giving it to the nurses' station, you make your way to the intern locker room. You quickly change out of your scrubs, eager to be back in normal clothes. Closing your locker, you check your phone. Jace, Sara, Cory, and Nettles have texted saying they’re waiting down in the lobby.

You leave the locker room, putting your phone in your pocket when you see him. Leaning against the door Aemond’s head turns as you walk out.

“Hey,” he says, straightening up. He’s still in scrubs, clearly, his shift isn’t over.

“Hey.”

He’s quiet for a moment, wetting his lips as he tries to find the words he wants to say.

“Look about earlier--”

“Aemond,” you cut him off, “We can either do this or not. You’re either in or out, but you have to make a decision.”

Aemond is silent, blue and violet eyes watching you. 

“What do you want?” he asks quietly.

“I just want you,” you answer honestly, “What do you want?”

“I….” Aemond struggles to speak, biting the tip of his tongue.

It’s not an outright rejection, but it still hurts like one. You sigh, looking down at your shoes. 

“I can’t decide for you,” you tell him, beginning to walk by, “That’s up to you.”

He doesn’t stop you as you continue to walk by, doesn’t reach out and pull you toward him. He lets you go. You find your friends in the lobby, force a smile on your face as you travel to the Dragon’s Den, and eagerly accept the tequila shots Cory buys you. There’s no text this time. 

Perhaps he made his choice. 

note: hope you liked it!! LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

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[cupidscrule]

BLACK CAT

Leon X Fem! reader

P in V, smut

[ no tw, vanillaish idk ]

1.2k wrd

”Woah, woah, slow down” Leon chuckled as you started explaining another cool story to him.

Your relationship was like the definition of a black cat and a golden retriever. You always have so much energy and are nice to almost everyone. Leon on the other hand is a tough agent who doesn’t really enjoy showing much emotion. He’s pretty stern towards others— but his softspot for you is clear.

”Okay, i’m listening. Tell me” He said while you were walking together with your fingers interlocked.

"okay okay! So THEN after Fluttershy wrote an entire song, rainbow dash just decides to throw it out? Ugh she's such a bitch. Don't you agree? I mean her friend went through all the trouble to try and get them to win the battle of the bands but she's so selfish.." you said, going on about a children's movie. You loved cute things, hello kitty, my little pony, really anything a 12 year old girl would be obsessed with, wearing cute little outfits and rambling about pointless stuff. But hey it made you happy and Leon thought it was adorable

"Mhm, yeah, so selfish" Leon couldn’t help but chuckle a little about how into the movie she was. by now he knew EVERYTHING about these stupid colourful horses, rainbowdash, fluttershy, twilight, pinkie, apple jack, list goes on. Honestly from what he knew rarity seemed like the best- I mean she was a boss bitch.

He found the whole thing pretty amusing, you were just so excited about it and he’s glad you have stuff you're so.. passionate about

"I mean, it would probably get annoying if her friend just wasted all that effort right? " He said trying to show his interest in her story.

"exactly! Ugh finally you get it" you said smiling up to him, leaning closer into his side as you two walked down back home, it was a long day. Like REALLY long, you took Leon shopping, got your nails done, bought some new skirts, and a new album. All that sort of stuff, but y'know dragging Leon aside you cause someone had to carry the shit, you were gettin really close to the outside of your house, skipping beside Leon holding hands. Life was like a dream.

But the long day out had Leon pretty tired— he had to drag a lot of your stuff around and you insisted they go to multiple stores (you tried to be nice and let him pick something out but he was too tired and grumpy, I know right such a dick head?)

When you were about to arrive home, he looked at you as you skipped around excitedly and smiled softly. Despite what he’s put through, he can’t deny that he finds your behavior adorable.

He squeezed your hand and chuckled a little before you guys got in front of your door.

"Oo Leon tomorrow we should watch rainbow rocks, then you'll understand what I'm talking about better" you say giggling as you step into your house, taking off your little boots and walking away from Leon plopping your ass on the leather sofa, even if you were like if you gave a six year old crack mixed with sour gummy worms even you could get kinda tired. Right, ain't that surprising? Little princess bitch face getting tired, after crawling over Leon like a little kid and skipping everywhere, runnin, jumping, god doing everything known to fucken man kind

“don’t know if we’ll have the time because of..” Leon muttered under his breath, he didn’t want to upset you and ruin your mood when you’re so excited.

He walked over to the couch and sat beside you silently and just observed you as you started talking about the movie. He placed a hand over your thigh, brushing up and down just silently smiling hearing you decribe your weird ass fictional horse people argue with other creatures from mythology, honestly sometimes he wondered if you needed to be checked into a mental hospital. Little grippy sock princess

“Wellll, maybe we can watch it tomorrow..” He shrugged. “I mean, i’ll do anything you want” Leon chuckled looking over at you.

He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer to him, his body was pretty warm given how hot the day was and his arm was pretty comfortable.

He kissed you forehead before wrapping his other arm around you, squeezing you a little. You loved when he was affectionate, but not in a creepy way, a cute way. But after a long day a girl can get a bit needy, like sue me but when you have a hot ass man cradling you and taking you everywhere, GOD it's like an angel is sent from heaven to fuck you. But fuck you in a good homemade porno way, not one of thoes shitty ones with a whole plotline. Just straight raw fucking

You turn around, breaking his grip on you before climbing onto his lap, placing yourself onto his thigh "Woah Woah, calm down- y'know I'm tire-" he was trying to speak, silly men. You land a big fat kiss on his lips to shut him up, slowly moving yourself on his thigh, pulling away from him getting a breath, saliva dripping down your face like an animal, staring at him in the eyes, his face slightly shocked you made the first move. But you felt something perk up, bingo. Always know what can make your man want ya

"God I can't just stare at your handsome face and do nothing-" you mutter under your breath, pushing yourself closer into him, kissing his face like a big ol' dog, your free hand finding its way to his jean zipper, undoing it his fat dick springing up, he grabs you by your hips, pulling your panties aside, slapping you onto his cock, a groan coming from his lips, honestly didn't expect the day to end like this, went from talkin ponies to getting your brains fucked out. Like a good girl you ride him, his hands are placed on your hips moving you at a decent pase, bit fast but he did do A LOT of work today, guess he deserves it. Nothing else in the world matters right now, euphoric feeling, he thrusted up into you, taking one hand off your hip and grabbing your face, making you look at him, god his eyes make you MELT. He could take care of you, he was real nice with it. He groped your tits sometimes in public, but just made you love him more.

You're at your high, he knows that. Few more thrusts and you whine, feeling your body melt like butter, your weight collapses onto him, but he's not done practically druling on him, limp body he keeps fucken like a doll, if you still have a tight pussy thats all that matters, few moments and he finishes, pressing you down onto him, filling your cervix, still collapsed on him both of you breathen all heavy. "So babydoll, what happened next?" He groaned, a sly ass smirk on his face. "Mm that cunt rainbow got put in her place and they play fluttershys song" you mutter, pushing on his fat chest, rollin off him like a little kid, pussy dripping. His pants stained with you, and a heavy chest.

"I wanna-"

"No"

"Pleaseee"

[5iyoomi]

When Henry and Jasper were kids, they made a promise that if they were both still single when they turned thirty they’d marry each other. Henry remembers that day like it was yesterday, back before they’d even met Charlotte and started to hang out as a group. 

Jasper had brought up some hypothetical about the future while he swung back and forth on a tire swing, jumping off to meet Henry at the end of the big red slide and saying that he didn’t wanna end up alone one day. 

The two had done everything together, had the oddest of conversations on the daily that mostly ended with Henry dismissively agreeing to whatever Jasper suggested, so the question he’d thrown at him in itself wasn’t all that weird. At least in comparison.

Henry had half-heartedly interlocked their pinkies, thinking the boy would forget about it at some point later, but he didn’t understand what the warmth that spread through his chest like a wildfire at the sight of that all too familiar toothy grin meant. 

Jasper only grasped the blond's hand in his own when Henry didn’t make a move to pull away, repeating something that Henry had likely been too spaced out to hear the first time. 

You promised, okay? Jasper whispered, both of them still knee to knee as people rushed by them in a flurry of laughs, playing tag from what either of them could tell. 

Henry blinked once, then twice, wondering for a moment if two guys could even get married, before the expectant glare of blue eyes urges him to look anywhere else. He pretends he’s more interested in the floor, giving a small nod in response and kicking up some bark dust beneath his feet.

Alright. He reiterates.

Henry realizes he’s not the only one who hasn’t forgotten when he’s shoulders deep in a tank full of water and Jasper calls himself his best friend and soulmate, holding his hand up to the others as if he was showing off a shiny silver band. 

A ring of all things, something Henry would never admit he’s spent countless hours looking into. Picking and choosing designs based on Jasper’s favorite color, wincing at the prices of pairs that were pretty but not too flashy. 

None of the stories the group told to try to scare him were working, but the realization paired with having Jasper that close to him; even if he couldn’t see him, was enough to get his heart racing. 

The bet wasn’t even on his mind anymore, Ray’s taunts about the steak and Schwoz’s comments on his levels going through one ear and out the other.

All he could think about was what he was gonna do. He sat with it for a few weeks after that, tossing and turning at night and fidgeting during missions whenever he had to talk to his friend. 

It took some prodding from Charlotte and Piper to get him to stop avoiding Jasper altogether, and it came out eventually considering he wasn’t exactly Swellview’s best liar, a series of back and forths of ‘are you sure you really like me?’s driving everyone else crazy before they finally settled on calling each other their boyfriends.

Despite some of the ugly feelings that word stirred up in Henry, some of the irrational fears that drew him away from confessing in the first place, he couldn’t help but feel happy. He knew he had a place in the man cave if the worst came down to the worst.

Now, he’s sitting with his back against his headboard with Jasper hovering over him when he realizes, again, he might really, truly be in love with him. 

His bed dips with both of their weight, Jasper’s knee right in between Henry’s thighs with his hands lingering awkwardly at his sides. 

Henry can smell the shampoo Jasper uses like this, a faint tea tree scent that he gave him some time ago. Jasper slowly leans in, watching for any sign of hesitation, and he stops the second Henry tenses up.

“Uhm-”

“Do you not want to?” Jasper asks softly. “We can do something else, I don’t mind.”

And that’s why he just doesn’t get Jasper. How could he be this calm when Henry was freaking out so bad? His bottom lip quivers in a mix of nervousness and anticipation, his palms uncomfortably sweaty and his tongue sitting uselessly in his mouth. 

Their faces are mere inches apart, but he can hardly speak, his brain struggling to come up with something mildly coherent.

Henry quickly grabs the cuff of Jasper’s shirt just as he’s about to scoot back. Jasper looks at him, one of his eyebrows quirked in question. “No, no, I do- it’s just-” he starts, subconsciously messing with the piece of fabric held tight in his hand. “I’m nervous, I guess. I’ve never done this before.”

“Haven’t you kissed like….” Jasper makes a show of counting on his fingers, chuckling at the embarrassed blush on Henry’s face. “Four girls before? Besides, you’ve known me since we were five.”

“Oh shut up, dude. You know that’s different.”

“Okay, dude.” Jasper smiles and closes back in with Henry following his lead. It goes about as well as Henry expects, both of them somehow knocking their foreheads into each other’s and muttering under their breath about how much it hurts. 

If it weren’t for his sister being out for the night, and for the fact he triple checked he locked his door anyways, he knows she’d come bugging them about something dumb right about now, her phone glued to her hand as she runs back downstairs while she calls them gross.

Henry laughs at the thought, rubbing circles against his head. “Sorry.”

“Nah, don’t worry. That was me.” Jasper says.

He tries again, this time being careful not to hit Henry. They both tilt their heads at an angle, noses brushing against each other’s. Henry can feel his heart ready to beat out of his chest, those bright eyes he’s dreamed about on more than one occasion burning. 

Jasper presses his mouth against his, and Henry jumps. He feels dizzy, tasting vanilla on his lips, and Jasper’s gentle but insistent, moving as if he’s waited his entire life for this.

Jasper cups Henry’s cheek and he feels him relax, his thumb tracing soothing shapes into his skin and his other hand resting on his hip. He pulls the boy closer to him, sighing as Henry combs his fingers through his hair. 

It lasts for a few minutes, or maybe a few hours; Henry’s lost count, but he hesitantly pushes at Jasper’s chest when he needs a break. Jasper doesn’t want to part from him, either, evident in the way he peppers a few more kisses to his cheek and the tip of his nose.

Both of their chests heave, Henry’s eyes blown wide and his lips slightly red and swollen, still tingling a bit from the kiss. Jasper’s the same but even more disheveled, his once smooth hair messy and cowlick sticking up in odd places. 

They stare at each other in awe for a few minutes before bursting into laughter, Jasper taking the opportunity to lace their fingers together. Henry thinks he might be floating on cloud nine.

“Another one?” Jasper breaks the silence, squeezing Henry’s hand.

“Y-yeah,” Henry stutters, almost breathless. “Yeah.”

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

Faithfully

Fandom: Harry Potter [Marauders Era]

Pairing: James Potter x Female Reader

Characters: James Potter, Female Reader, Harry Potter, Sirius Black

Word Count: 2250

Rating: Teen

Summary: And lovin' a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be.

Tags/ Warnings: Hogwarts, Summer Challenge, Writing Challenge, Song Fic, Band AU, Can be lily if you want, Kissing, Tour, Band Life, Baby Harry potter,

Notes: This is my summer writing challenge 2024. Seven fics over seven days - all will be hp based and song fics.

Summer Challenge 2024 // Song Inspo

‘Do you know when you’ll be home?’ you asked quietly, careful not to wake the baby sleeping soundly on your chest.

‘Dunno,’ James said with a sigh, ‘a day or two? I’m sure we’ve got a gap before our Paris show. Could probably squeeze in a visit.’

‘You don’t have to if it’ll be too much hassle,’ you said, trying to keep your tone light and unbothered. You didn’t want him to have to rush only for him to be home for less than twelve hours but you were missing him.

‘Seeing you two is never too much hassle,’ he said, the smile present in his voice though as you listened down the line you heard the noise of someone coming into the room, a muffled voice, which sounded like Sirius, asking if he was ready or not. You heard him ask for a minute before he put his attention back on you and said, ‘love I have to go.’

‘I know I heard,’ you said, a sigh escaping you before you could stop it.

‘I’ll call after the show I promise,’ he vowed.

‘I know you will,’ you said, ‘you better go. Love you.’

‘Love you more,’ he replied before he hung up leaving you with nothing more than a dial tone. As you placed the receiver down you heard a whimper and looked down to find you baby boy, Harry, looking disgruntled from being jostled about. He’d not opened his eyes though and after a moment of watching him you realised he hadn't woken and so as quietly as you could you climbed out of the chair so you could carry him upstairs to bed.

You put him in his cot as gently as you could, hoping he’d not be able to tell the difference between your touch and the feel of the mattress. Fortunately he continued to sleep leaving you free to leave though you still stood there for a good five minutes so as not to tempt fate. It'd been a nightmare to get him off to sleep tonight though that had been the trend for the last few weeks as the more he missed James the worse his behaviour got. You didn’t blame him. You missed him too. But you knew it was for the best.

You’d been with James since school and you loved him just as much now as you did then. You’d moved in together, gotten married and even had a baby despite being so young. People had told you it was foolish, that you should wait a while, but you didn’t see the point. But now you were starting to wonder if they were right.

Because James was a musician, he and his three friends had formed a band called the marauders at school and had continued to try their hand at it after they’d left in lieu of what your dad would call a ‘proper job’. But they weren’t some kids playing at rockstars. They were good. Phenomenal showman and they'd been signed not long after leaving school. You’d been living the high life. The wife of a rockstar.

Until two little pink lines on a stick had knocked that all of kilter. You loved Harry, more than anything in the world, but he had definitely changed your life. Instead of shows and parties you were now at home with nappies and bottles. You saw James infrequently though he always called whenever he had a chance. It wasn’t even as though you missed staying out till three am or drinking to oblivion. You missed being there, watching your husband give the performance of a lifetime and basking in the high with him. You missed waking up in the same bed, wrapped around one another until you had to drag yourselves to the next venue or tour bus. You missed James being at home with you and Harry, watching how your baby grew into the fabulous little boy he was becoming. You’d only had a few solid months together after he was born before he’d had to leave and though you’d met him for a show here and there or he’d raced home to see you it wasn’t the same.

Quite simply you missed your husband.

You missed him so much that as you climbed into bed, exhausted and sad, you found tears running down your face as you pressed it into his pillow for comfort.

✵✵✵

‘What’s that? Is it a fishy?’ you cooed, moving the toy fish through the water as Harry splashed at it, ‘is it gonna get ya? It’s gonna get ya!’

You moved the fish until it was nestled in his neck making him wobble and giggle as it tickled along his skin.

‘It’s gotcha!’ you laughed as he fumbled to take it off you, his chubby fingers locking around it as he waved it towards your face, ‘is it gonna get mummy?’

You were face to face with him, pressing kisses on his plump cheeks as he clunked your face with the plastic fish, when you heard someone say, ‘well I’d say do you want me to take over but you look as though you’re having far too much fun for me to intervene.’

You whipped around immediately at the voice, finding James stood in the doorway, leaning against it looking bemused. Having not expected him home for another day or so you were stunned but not enough that you couldn’t hurl yourself up off the floor and into his arms which wrapped around you on instinct, the pair of you absorbing every inch of love you could from one another.

‘Hiya,’ he said as you pulled back, his hand on your cheek.

‘Hi,’ you beamed, ‘what you doing home?’

‘Oh charmin,’ he said, rolling his eyes which earned him a swat on the chest. James ignored it, moving to it on the edge of the bath to watch Harry who upon seeing him immediately decided he was done with bath time and offered his arms up to be picked up. You nodded as he looked to you for permission, not knowing where in the process you’d gotten up to, and then he grabbed a towel from the side of the bath and scooped Harry up into his arms.

‘Hiya mate,’ he said, pressing a kiss to his cheek which earned him a sloppy one of his own. You smiled just watching the pair of them, your heart swelling with pride and love which grew as he looked at you with a grin, ‘you two happy to see me then?’

‘Ecstatic, but it’s nearly bedtime,’ you said, sadness tinging your voice. As James stood up from the bath, Harry now on his hip you ran a hand through Harry’s wet hair. It was flat against his head, though you doubted that would last long once it was dry. Back to the unruly mess it was like James. James watched you, an encouraging smile on his face as he said, ‘well then let's get ready for bed.’

You nodded and headed out the bathroom. He followed you, babbling to Harry as you led them through to his nursery where you’d laid everything out. Despite being prepared for bedtime it was a struggle to get him dry and dressed as he refused to be more than three inches from James but eventually you got him bundled into his pyjamas and ready for a bedtime story.

Whilst James took a seat in the chair in Harry’s nursery you nipped downstairs to make up his evening bottle and as you boiled the kettle you tried to will yourself to be happy, to not look at the clock and think about how he’d be gone in however many hours and you two would be on your own again. And in that vein you rushed to get Harry’s bottle ready so that you could make the most of the time together though by the time you got back upstairs James was near the end of his bedtime story.

You perched on the arm of the chair, swapping his book for the bottle which Harry took to immediately, content on watching the pair of you whilst you watched him. James placed a hand on your thigh as you leant down to nestle into him, placing a kiss on the top of his head. Harry was content with staring at you both but the more he drank the heavier his eyes got until he was asleep, the bottle dropping from his grasp before James caught it. When he didn't disturb you realised it was probably safe to transfer him and so moved out of his way so that James could put him in his cot. To your surprise he went down well, so well you wondered if James would even believe you when you told him of the anarchy of bedtimes you’d been living with. But still you waited for a moment, watching him to ensure he was fully settled. James was watching him too, adoration plastered on his face. 

‘Cmon,’ you said, pulling his attention away from the sleeping tot, ‘if we stare at him any longer he might wake up.’

‘Good point,’ he chuckled quietly following you back out to the bathroom. Whilst you drained the bath and sorted Harry’s toys out he washed the used bottle in the sink.

‘So how long have we got?’ you asked, draining water out of a plastic sea creature before tossing it into the small box for bath toys.

‘Before I have to leave for Paris?’ he asked, leaning against the sink as he watched you.

‘Yeah,’ you said, trying not to sound too disheartened.

‘Have to meet the boys at Dover for eleven,’ he said, checking his watch, ‘so about twelve hours.’

‘Great twelve hours and we’ll be sleeping for most of it,’ you said as you threw the last of the toys in the box and pulled the plug. You didn’t look at him, instead watching the swirling water so that he couldn’t see your face but he could sense your disappointment and moved to hug you from behind pulling you into his chest.

‘You sound disappointed,’ he said as he placed his chin on your shoulder, watching you in the mirror.

‘Not with you,’ you said, moving your hand to his cheek and stroking it gently, ‘I just miss you that’s all. We both do.’

‘I miss you both too,’ he said, turning you around to hold you close. He looked tired, the skin beneath his eyes tinged purple which didn’t surprise you. He’d probably gotten to bed well into the morning before a full day in the car to get home. 

‘Well we’ve got twelve hours I suppose,’ you reasoned, ‘if you can stay awake that is. You look shattered.’

‘Actually that’s something I wanted to speak to you about,’ he said.

‘What?’ you asked, confused.

‘Well I was thinking we could spend the night packing for you to come with me tomorrow,’ he said simply.

‘What me and Harry come to Paris?’ you scoffed.

‘Paris, Brussels, Berlin, Cologne-’

‘Babe that’s your entire tour,’ you said, the piece of paper pinned to your fridge with the dates you’d committed to memory flashing to your mind.

‘Yeah,’ he shrugged.

‘You want me to come on tour with you?’ you asked in disbelief.

‘You’ve done it before,’ he shrugged.

‘And Harry?’ you reasoned.

‘Well I don’t think he’s old enough to stay home alone,’ he teased, earning a smack on the chest which made him laugh.

‘We can't come on tour with you!’ you chastised.

‘Why not?’ he asked.

‘He’s a baby!’ you reasoned, ‘he needs routine and home comforts and-‘

‘Two parents who aren’t miserable,’ James said, looking at you pointedly. You shifted under the weight of his gaze but he moved so that you were looking at him by taking a seat on the bath, pulling you in between his legs as his arms locked around you.

‘Babe I know what we said when Harry was born. I know we wanted a normal life for him but our life isn’t exactly normal. It’s never gonna be normal so long as we’re doing this thing,’ he reasoned, ‘and I’m not saying there's not going to have to be adjustments, we're not gonna be able to act like we did before but we’ll still be together. That’s what I want.’

‘Me too,’ you said, ‘but all the travelling and the shows-’

‘He’ll get used to it,’ he vowed, ‘I promise it’s better to have a life that’s a little chaotic but happy rather than one that’s normal and miserable.’

You deliberated that point for a moment. You knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Everyone you’d spoken to when pregnant had told you that the road would be no place for a family but maybe they were wrong. Because they'd been wrong about everything else.

They’d assumed you’d gotten married because you’d gotten knocked up, not that James had been walking around with a ring in his pocket for six months before he’d gotten up the courage to ask. They assumed that you came on tour to keep an eye on him, not because he’d managed to talk you round into attending so many dates it had become easier to just join them for the entire thing rather than think of another excuse to give to your old boss on why you’d not turned in for yet another shift. When people saw you in town, shopping or in the park with Harry they assumed you’d been left behind to raise him whilst James did whatever he wanted. They pictured him bedding fans or hookers instead of running back to his hotel to call you like he did every night, the two of you talking until one of you fell asleep. They assumed that you staying behind had been his choice and not yours.

But maybe James was right.

After all, what use was routine when it was different for half the year. Harry got used to having two parents and then was forced back to having one, his dad a stranger popping in every so often and leaving him more confused than ever. And it wasn’t just James he missed. He missed his uncles, James’ bandmates, all of whom adored him and showered him with love. He also missed you, the person you were around James.

The road wasn’t a place to raise a baby but who said? Maybe you could make it work, at least now whilst he was small.

‘You’re right,’ you agreed, moving to perch on his knee, ‘I am miserable. Harry too.’

‘And me,’ he said, ‘and the boys truth be told.’

‘Yeah?’ you giggled, ‘miss me that much do they?’

‘Of course. You’re mum to more than just Harry, remember,’ he chuckled, ‘and apparently I’m no fun to be around when you’re not about.’

‘That makes two of us,’ you mused.

‘So you’ll come with?’ he asked hopefully, his thumb moving gently along your denim clad thigh.

‘How could we refuse?’ you smiled. James beamed a smile and then leaned into kiss you, his lips capturing yours gently for a moment before he pulled back and rested his forehead against yours, still smiling.

‘I will say one thing though,’ you said.

‘What's that darling?’ he asked.

‘The sex isn’t going to be half as good when we’re seeing each other all the time,’ you said, your mind on those incidents when he’d managed to see you over past few months, the short time span and neediness in the both of you serving as conduit for passion you’d ever experienced before.

‘Hmm you might be right,’ he said, ‘but we’ll just have to keep trying to recreate it then won't we.’

‘Definitely,’ you giggled.

[broidobe]

𝔬𝔩𝔡 𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔰, 𝔫𝔢𝔴 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰

requested!

duff and you have been childhood friends for years, but as time passes, things start to change in ways neither of you expect.

⁎⁺˳✧༚guns and roses masterlist

you and duff mckagan had been inseparable since you were kids. growing up in the same neighborhood, you were the kind of friends who knew every little detail about each other—the first crush, the biggest fights, and the endless hours spent dreaming about what life would be like when you grew up.

now, sitting in the backyard of your childhood home on a lazy saturday afternoon, it all felt so… familiar. but something was different this time. the way duff was sitting next to you, close enough for your elbows to brush, made your heart race in a way you couldn’t quite explain.

you glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, his messy blonde hair falling over his forehead, his laid-back smile that still had the power to make you feel warm inside. he caught your gaze and grinned, a look in his eyes that was both playful and comforting.

"you know," he said, leaning back on his hands, "i always thought we'd be stuck in this small town forever. i never imagined i'd end up playing bass in a band and touring the world."

you laughed, the sound coming out a little more nervous than you intended. "yeah, well, i always thought you’d end up being some kind of rockstar." you nudged him with your shoulder, trying to keep the conversation light.

duff raised an eyebrow and turned to face you. "oh, really?" he teased. "and what about you? what did you think you'd be doing?"

you shrugged, suddenly aware of the gap that had grown between your childhood dreams and the reality of adult life. "i don’t know… i thought i'd always be here, you know? maybe helping you with band stuff, making sure you don’t get into too much trouble."

duff chuckled, but there was a softness to his expression now, something more serious than his usual teasing. "i don’t know how i’d manage without you, y’know? you’ve always had my back. even when i was being a total idiot."

your heart skipped a beat at the sincerity in his voice. you had always been there for him—no matter how many wild adventures he got caught up in, no matter how many times his rockstar lifestyle took him far away from you. you were always there when he needed to come back to reality, back to the place where everything felt easy and safe.

but now… things were shifting.

"you’ve always been my best friend," he said quietly, his voice lowering as if testing the words. "but lately… i don’t know. i’ve been thinking about us more than i probably should."

you turned to him, the weight of his words settling into your chest. was he saying what you thought he was saying? or was it just another one of those moments when he was caught up in his own head?

before you could speak, duff reached out, gently brushing his fingers against yours. the touch was light, but it felt electric, and for the first time in a long time, you wondered if maybe there was something more between you than just friendship.

"i don’t want to mess things up," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "but i think… i think i’m starting to feel something else for you."

you met his eyes, your pulse quickening as you saw the vulnerability in his gaze. "i feel it too," you admitted softly, your heart hammering in your chest. "i’ve been feeling it for a while now."

and in that quiet moment, everything shifted. the years of friendship, the inside jokes, the comfort of each other’s company—all of it was still there, but now there was something more. something deeper, something that neither of you had expected, but both of you were ready to explore.

duff smiled, the same easy grin that always made you feel at home. but now, there was a tenderness to it, something you hadn't seen before. he reached for your hand, squeezing it gently.

"guess we’ll figure this out together," he said with a wink.

[kittyscabin]

shows up to give you the coffinchain challenge

Please be more careful when you cross the road You’re a perfect arrangement of rickety bones

Stray cats.

Peter had always likened the apprentices to a group of stray cats, in his mind.

At first it was out of distaste. They were a nuisance; a band of drifters slinking around the alleyways, catching their quarries unaware. The quick, sharp jab of a hypodermic needle might as well have been the efficient killing bite that a cat might deliver to the throat of its prey. They worked in the shadows, occupying all of those lonely abandoned buildings and reworking them for a new, twisted purpose. 

Then, begrudgingly, he’d found himself wrapped up in Mark Hoffman. Chasing him, hunting him, hellbent on bringing him to justice, then on killing him, then on understanding him, then…

Well, Peter didn’t know what he was doing now. 

All he knew was that sitting in his apartment, in varying states of composure, were three of Jigsaw’s disciples. 

Dr. Gordon sat on his couch, eyes trained down as his hands worked on bandaging a fresh wound on the arm of his younger accomplice. Stanheight sat quietly and allowed for the medical attention with little fight. Hoffman himself sat on the floor, back leaned against the couch close to the other two. 

Peter remained standing, trying not to buckle at the absurdity of his situation. In true stray-animal nature, he had made the mistake of allowing Hoffman into his home once, twice, thrice, and now he’d come back with friends. 

‘Don’t feed the strays’, indeed. 

Accept that he did know the other two, at this point. The polite Dr. Gordon was well-spoken and direct; Peter had found him infuriating in the beginning. He was a hard man to interrogate and an even harder man to intimidate, as level and unflinching as he was. Unlike Peter, he never seemed to let his anger get the best of him, and he seemed to know that. Dr. Gordon was a man who always seemed very aware of how much more control he had in the conversation. It was enviable. 

Then there was Adam Faulkner-Stanheight. Mouthful of a name. It was strange enough for Peter to wrap his head around the fact that the kid was alive, let alone working with Jigsaw. He was angry- had more rage in his scrawny little body than what felt possible. Stupid and impulsive, Peter had found him annoying. Just a petulant adolescent who had gotten himself into bigger trouble than he yet realized. 

They’ve come a long way since then. Both apprentices had grown on him, maybe because they reminded him of himself in their amalgamate qualities. The cold, callous bluntness of the doctor. The white-hot temper of the kid. The way he had never seen the former so gentle nor the latter so complacent until now, as they patched themselves together on his bloodied furniture. 

Peter had been reluctant to welcome them all inside. It was bad enough to shelter one serial killer, but now three? It reminded him that everything he’s been doing as of late is against what he once stood for. Fuck, it would solve a hell of a lot of his own problems if he didn't care. If he’d let them all rot, make them regret thinking that Peter would risk his own hide just because he's been friendly with them. Dr. Gordon and Stanheight had seemed to understand this too. Their expressions had been apprehensive, looking ready to flee like the animals they were. Peter wonders how long ago he would have given chase. 

Hoffman had spoken, then. 

“I didn’t-” His voice was shot and exhausted. “I didn’t know where else to go, Strahm.” 

And just like that, Peter took them in. Those words were all it took. Hoffman limped inside on a bad leg and described some sort of police-raid, premature. John Kramer and Amanda Young hadn’t even been there, so it had just been the trio, and they were forced to flee. Unable to go far on foot in their current state, Hoffman had brought his injured companions here. To Peter. 

Why did that make something strange stir within him? 

The three of them were soaked to the bone from the rain. Peter watched Hoffman sluggishly attempt to remain alert, but every so often his head would lull and come to rest against the soft thigh of Dr. Gordon. If the doctor noticed it, he didn't say a word as he continued to diligently work. He looked tired. Stanheight was putting on the best brave face he could manage, but Peter’s keen eyes caught his shoulders trembling, only eased when Gordon’s hand came to rest on one and rubbed gently. They all looked so tired. 

Unable to watch any longer, Peter finally broke the silence. 

“So why are you still doing this?” It took everything in him to not fidget idly as he spoke, brows furrowed at the three men. 

All eyes were on him quite suddenly, sharp as they regarded him. Three clever pairs of observant eyes that all screamed out ‘I know more than I’m letting on' to Peter. He held their gazes, muscled arms crossed over his chest. 

“You know what I’m talking about.” He scoffed, lip curling. “What’s the point of doing the old man's dirty work when he just lets things like this happen to you?” 

Silence.

Hoffman broke first. He laughed, eyes closing as he rested more fully against the couch. It was good-natured but ultimately dismissive. 

Dr. Gordon frowned at Peter, one brow quirked as if he had asked them something incredibly naive. Like he expected Peter to know already. 

Stanheight didn't react. Not outwardly, anyways. He only stared, something new and strange glittering in his eyes that Peter couldn't place.

“What,” Peter grit his teeth, an edge to his voice. Less of a question and more of a prompt. 

“Nothing, nothing. Apologies, Mr. Strahm.” Gordon sighed, turning his attention back to his handiwork. He appeared to nearly be done with the worst of Stanheight’s injuries now. “It’s just… not that simple.”

“Not exactly the kinda job you can put your two weeks in for.” Hoffman corroborated, a smirk tugging at his full lips. 

Peter felt his face burn hot, and he huffed in frustration. “You fucking- Don’t play dumb. Don’t act like it’s a stupid question. I’ll throw you back out onto the fucking curb.” He jabbed a finger at Hoffman in particular, who for his part did indeed shut his mouth. “You listening? Good. What I’m saying is that John Kramer is one demented old man. What is actually stopping you?” 

This time, the quiet was punctuated by Hoffman and Gordon exchanging an uncomfortable glance. After a moment, Hoffman shrugged and ran one hand through his damp, messy hair. “I’m sure you’re familiar with the concept of, uh, checks ‘n balances.” 

Peter raised an eyebrow skeptically. Hoffman continued. 

“Information is power, etcetera. Kramer keeps basically everything on a need-to-know basis. Including, I dunno, who you’re workin’ with half the time. Hell,” He rolled his eyes, and lazily raised a hand behind his head to pat Gordon’s arm. The doctor made an annoyed noise in response, shifting away from him. “He only told me about these lovebirds when he needed help lookin’ after ‘em.” 

“I’m still mad about missing out on a trip to Mexico.” Stanheight quipped. His voice was softer than normal, but Peter supposed it was a good sign that he was speaking at all. He wasn’t used to the younger man being so quiet. 

Gordon straightened up a moment later, gently patting down the new bandages and brushing some of the hair from Stanheight’s face. “There you go.” He sighed. The warmth in his tone was so palpable that Peter had the distinct feeling it wasn’t meant for his ears. Despite being in his own apartment, he somehow felt he was intruding. “Get comfortable, alright?” 

Peter watched as Stanheight pulled himself to his feet, stopping short just a little ways away from him with an awkward shuffle. Gordon patted his thigh and spoke his next words like they took all of his energy to say. 

“Your turn.” He didn’t even bother to look at Hoffman. The detective grinned anyways, wasting no time in clamoring up into Gordon’s personal space and slinging his leg across the man’s lap. Gordon shook his head disdainfully, but carefully began rolling back Hoffman’s torn pant leg anyways. 

Peter guessed he wasn’t the only one that Hoffman lived to irritate.

“Christ, Mark.” Gordon sucked in a sharp breath, and Peter’s shoulders stiffened as he took a step forward to look. His stomach sank despite himself; from where he was standing Hoffman’s calf looked like a bloody mess. Peter’s a man who’s seen more gore in his line of work than anyone should hope to see in their lifetime, and yet here he is, staring in alarm. It was unlike him, and woefully he could only attribute his own uneasiness to the owner of the calf. 

As if he could read his mind, Hoffman looked up towards Peter. “Hey, it’s just-” He winced, hissing in pain as Gordon began to clean the wound. “It’s no big deal- no bullet inside. Just grazed me.” 

“You were shot?” Peter balked.

“Grazed,” Hoffman corrected. 

Peter pinched the bridge of his nose in a quick-rising frustration. Hoffman was impossible. 

“Don’t be an idiot.” Gordon’s voice was little more than a growl as he spoke through gritted teeth. “You took an unnecessary risk. Do you think I enjoy patching you back together? Honestly, if I didn't know any better I’d assume you were trying to get your sorry self killed.” 

Dr. Gordon’s tone left the detective bristling. “Don’t tell me how to do my job.” He scoffed. “Hell, I don’t bother you when you’re workin’ in the sickbay. Why don't you just- fuck!” 

Hoffman yelped at the unceremonious splash of disinfectant. Gordon gave him the sort of well-practiced fake smile that only a doctor could.

“My bad,” he murmured, unapologetic. 

Peter decided he’d seen enough. He turned on his heel and walked into the kitchen, telling himself that he was just stepping aside to get ice in case the doctor needed some. He knew it wasn't the truth, though; he scolded himself quietly as he leaned against the wall and ran a hand through his graying hair. 

The truth was that he couldn't keep standing there, staring at Hoffman’s leg injury. 

It’s ironic, because it feels like not too long ago that Peter would have done anything to put a bullet in Hoffman. Now the thought makes him feel… queasy. And a bit confused. 

Peter found himself comparing the apprentices to strays again.

He couldn’t get the image of roadkill splattered on the side of the highway out of his head. 

From what he knew of John Kramer and his cult, the apprentices were expendable parts. It doesn't even sound like they can trust each other half the time. One wrong move or fatal mistake would be all it took. Peter wasn't even sure how long it would take him to know something had happened. 

His thoughts were interrupted by footsteps so quiet that he knew exactly who they belonged to before turning around. Stanheight stood at the entryway of his bare-bones kitchen, watching him. He’s probably spent the least amount of time alone with him. 

“What is it?” Peter’s frown deepened.

The kid didn't answer immediately, instead coming to lean against the wall beside him. He was quiet for a moment, and then shrugged. 

“Wanted to check on you, I guess.” He answered simply. 

“Check on me? In what way do I need checking on?” Raising a brow, Peter gestured towards the living room. “Look at you three, for fuck’s sake.” 

Stanheight held his hands up defensively. “Hey, hey, I just- I get it, alright?”

Peter didn't know what that meant. He stared down at the shorter man, scowl ever-present, silently prodding him to elaborate. Stanheight’s expression was… almost sympathetic, but his eyes had that same strange look from before: the one that Peter couldn't place. 

The kid was easy to underestimate, Peter knew it from his file and from his current involvement. He wasn't about to make that mistake with him. 

“Sucks, doesn't it?” Stanheight finally said. He was muttering now, glancing once over his shoulder to ensure they were still alone. “One thing to know what they're doing and another to see them come back with blood and bits of their skin hanging off.”

Peter felt his stomach turn. “No,” he lied. “If Hoffman’s gonna be reckless and get himself killed then so be it.” 

“No matter what you or anyone else thinks, I’m not stupid.” Stanheight laughed dryly. “You don't gotta lie to me, okay? I’m on team Peter here.” 

“Are we forgetting that you’re one of ‘them’ too?” Peter steeled his gaze, unamused. 

Stanheight grimaced. “I mean- kind of. Not really.”

“‘Not really?’ What’s that mean?” 

“I- like- like I’m with them but I’m not one of them. Old Johnny-boy has never and will never give a shit about me. Not exactly in the running to be his heir or whatever the others think will happen.” Stanheight huffed, rolling his eyes as he explained. “Pretty sure he wouldn't even notice if I went missing if it weren't for the pictures ‘n schedules I go and get for him.”

Peter is quiet for a moment. 

“Why stick around?” He asked softly, already knowing the answer. 

The kid just snorted in lieu of answering, and the two fell into silence once more for a couple of seconds. 

“Glad that Mark has you.” Stanheight suddenly murmured, thoughtful. 

“He does not ‘have me’.” 

“Maybe you can knock some sense into him.” 

Peter scoffed, looking elsewhere. “You’re frustrating, you know that?”

“I’ve been told.” Stanheight laughed, “I’m not kidding, though. It always freaks me out how Mark gets when he’s like…” 

Raising a brow, Peter waited for him to sort out his thoughts. 

“Like, when he gets hurt, right? He just- just runs off. Or he’ll go and get hammered on the other side of town and when we find him he’s a mess.” 

At that, Peter’s shoulders went rigid. He was aware of Mark’s habits, his unhealthy coping mechanism. He hadn't thought about who else might know, how deeply it might run. He hadn't thought about how often Mark must be alone. 

When he looked back at Stanheight, he realized the kid was staring at him intently. There was concern in his expression, but also something fierce. 

“John’s really messed him up. Worse than he was before all of this.” His voice was low, almost cautious. “All of them. Lawrence, Mark, Mandy, none of them deserve this. You know that, right?”

Peter’s mouth felt dry. “I…” 

Straightening up again, Stanheight stepped closer to Peter. Before he could see it coming, a smaller hand took his own and held it, inspecting it. “I think Mark needs you.” He said, “maybe all of us do. So you gotta take care of yourself too.” 

Something confused seemed to bloom in his chest then, an uncertain warmth that he could feel rise up to his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again when he couldn't decide on anything to say. 

“Just think about it, ‘kay?” Stanheight let go of his hand again and started to leave the kitchen, pausing for just a moment to look back at him. “Oh, one more thing.” 

“What is it?” Peter’s voice was hoarse. 

Stanheight gave him a grin that didn't meet his eyes. “Welcome to the family.” 

Then he was gone, Peter’s protest to that statement dying on his lips, and Peter was left to think on everything he said. 

Hoffman needing him. Hoffman hiding himself away in dark corners to nurse his wounds. Improperly set bones and too much bandage. 

Stray cats.

Peter’s family used to have cats. His sister’s cat had been an old, white, raggedy thing that she named Alfredo. When Alfredo passed away, he had hidden under the bed and refused to come out. Peter thinks he remembers reading somewhere that pets do that on purpose, so their humans don't have to see them die, but it's been years and his animal knowledge is limited. 

Peter wondered how hard it is to socialize a stray cat. To reintroduce it to domesticity. 

He stepped out of the kitchen, lingering at the entryway, and watched the apprentices from where he stood. Gordon seemed to have finished with Hoffman’s leg, speaking to him in a quieter tone than before. To his surprise, Hoffman looked like he was listening. Stanheight was on the couch with them now, leaning his head onto Gordon’s shoulder. 

Peter found that he wished he could freeze this moment with the three of them in it. The bubble of safety that was his living room felt far away from everything Jigsaw. Maybe they were always meant to be here, on soft furniture, and not crouching amongst rusted pipes and jagged metal. 

Tamed. Domesticated. 

He sighed through his nose and walked around the couch, three sets of clever eyes on him again as he caught their attention. Now that he was there, he could see that Dr. Gordon had just begun to wrap up Hoffman’s leg and he silently motioned to ask for the gauze, kneeling down between them.

Understanding the gesture, Gordon handed it over, smiling at Peter warmly enough to raise his body temperature by a degree. 

“Strahm-” Hoffman started, bewildered, but Peter simply began wrapping his leg neatly. 

“Shut up.” He grunted. “Let me help you, stupid.”

[otherone12]

could you write bullets ray x (female)reader smut, where they meet because one of the band members brought her along to record bullets but her and ray meet and fall in love?

Twelve Days At Studio

Ray Toro x Reader

-> Masterlist

A/N: Heyy! So i kinda of disspaered for about three weeks.... sorry... But i think my art block has gone for now, so Valantines fics are totally happening. So i recieve two requests that was basically the same, so i wrote jus one fic for both. hope u like it! <3 (If it turned out too different from what you imagined, let me know and I'll try to fix it :) )

Summary: Your best friend Frank invite you to be with him and his band mates during the recording of their first album. But someone caugh your attention during those twelve days of recording.

- Word Count: 5.715

- Warnings: SMUT!

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…-

Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language... sorry if i wrote something wrong

___________________________________________

1st Person POV

Frank has been my best friend since forever, and he's been talking non stop about how excited he was about recording his band’s first record.

I thought today would be just another ordinary day… until my phone rang. The second I heard the ringtone, I knew it was Frank. Before I could even say hello, he blurted out,

Before I could answer, frank already dropped:

- Are you free for the next twelve days? - the excitement in his voice was obvious, and he was almost tripping on his words - I mean, I know you have no social life and all… but just to be sure… 

- Wait, wait, what?! - I chuckled, confused - What the hell are you talking about?

- Me and the guys are gonna record our first album - He said, and I could hear his smile - and I want you there. 

- Thanks… but, me? Why? 

- Are you kidding me? - He snorted, like it was obvious - ‘Cause you are my best friend, of course! So, are you in? 

- Yeah I… I'm in. But are you sure the guys won't mind? 

- Nah, they’re fine. - He said like it was no big deal - I will text you with the address.

- Okay then… - I shook  my head with a small smile… - bye, dork

- Bye, loser 

Then he hangs off… okay… looks like I'm gonna be there.

*** time skip ***

I made my way to the address Frank had sent me, and it didn’t take long before I spotted him standing outside, grinning like a maniac. The second he saw me, he started heading in my direction.

- Hey, dork! - I called out, smirking. Before I could even blink, he wrapped me up in a bear hug.

- Hey, loser! You came!

- Wouldn’t miss this for the world,- I replied, my voice light but with a hint of excitement.

- Come on, I wanna introduce you to the rest of the guys! - He grabbed my wrist and pulled me along, his energy contagious.

We walked over to the rest of the band, and Frank waved his free hand toward them.

- Guys, this is my best friend. I invited her to hang out during the recording.

For a brief moment, I wondered if they’d be annoyed or confused about having a random person here. But the looks on their faces told me otherwise—everyone was smiling, and I could feel the tension drop.

- Hi, I’m Gerard.- The guy with long black hair and hazel eyes waved awkwardly, his smile a little shy but genuine.

- Mikey, - said the guy standing next to him, nodding with a small smile. - Gerard’s brother.

He had an… interesting haircut, nothing bad, just definitely unique.

- Hey, I’m Ray. - The man beside Mikey extended his hand, giving me a warm smile. His handshake was firm but not overwhelming, and there was something about his calm demeanor that made me feel instantly at ease.

The first few hours there, the guys were busy setting up, getting ready to record some of the first tracks. I mostly just stayed in the background, watching and listening, occasionally offering a comment or two. It was fascinating to see everything come together, but my mind kept wandering back to Ray. I didn’t know what it was, maybe it was the way he stood there, absorbed in his guitar, or the way he smiled when he caught my eye. Whatever it was, it had me captivated.

Of course, I turned my attention back to Frank whenever he started putting his energy into his screams. His passion was always something to witness, but even then, a part of me couldn’t help but glance over at Ray every now and then. 

This happened during the first days of recording, we had only small talk, like i had with all the guys, but there was always something different in talking to Ray. 

Part of me keeps thinking what would it be like to have a real conversation with him, but thanks to Frank, a moment alone with Ray was impossible. At least, that was what I thought.

But to my surprise, on the fourth day, after a few hours, eventually, the chaos settled for a moment, and Ray made his way over to the coffee station. He glanced up, catching my eye as he poured himself a cup.

- You want one? - he asked, his voice low but warm. His easygoing nature made it impossible not to feel comfortable around him.

I nodded, surprised by the simplicity of the offer. 

- Yeah, sure, thanks.

He handed me the mug with a smile that made my stomach do a little flip. 

- No problem.

As I took the coffee, he lingered for a moment, and I could tell he was debating whether to say more. The seconds stretched on, but then he spoke again, his tone casual but inviting.

- So, what’s it like being around a bunch of chaotic musicians? - he asked, his lips quirking up as if he already knew the answer.

I chuckled, leaning back against the counter. 

- It’s definitely a lot of noise. But I’m used to Frank’s energy, so this just feels like... him dialed up to eleven.

He laughed, and I couldn’t help but notice how his eyes crinkled at the corners when he did. It was something simple, but it made the whole moment feel warmer, more personal.

- Yeah, I can imagine - he agreed, taking a sip from his own cup. He leaned against the counter next to me, and for a second, the conversation just flowed easily, like we’d known each other forever. 

But before our conversation could keep going, Frank sat by my side, with his usual grin on his face.  

- So, how do you think we’re going? 

He rested his head on my shoulder, looking up at me with playful eyes.

- Honestly? - I raise my eyebrow, like I was about to say something bad.- It's awesome. You guys have the energy and the passion… and Gerard’s lyrics are pretty cool.

- I knew you would love it. - He smirked, nudging my arm with his elbow - But, hey, I'm gonna grab some snacks for us… want something special? 

- You know what I like, Frankie. - I winked, with a grin on my lips.

- Of course…  I’ll be right back.

With that, he disappeared, and I shook my head, laughing. Ray was still there, and I could notice that he was looking at me. I was trying to act normal, but he has something that I can't quite describe, but it’s pulling me into him. Then he cleaned his throat

- Uh… - Ray started, I knew he was about to ask something, his uncertain tone got me even more curious  - Are you two…?

- Ew, no! -  I said, maybe too fast…  and wrinkling my nose - Don’t get me wrong, I love Frank, but he is like a brother to me… we grew up together.

He blinked, and let out a breath, was that… relief? 

- Oh, I get it… - He glanced down, avoiding my gaze for a moment, before running a hand through his hair. He took a deep breath - I know it’s not really my business, but.. are you… dating someone?

That caught me totally out of the guard. 

- Well, I really wasn't expecting that…-  I chuckled, trying to mask my surprise, but Ray looked up at me, his gaze steady and uncertain. - But, no. I’m not dating anyone.

- Cool…- Ray muttered, and again, there was that sense of relief. But this time, he shifted uncomfortably, like he realized he’d said something a little awkward.- I mean, it's not “cool”, cause you are really nice… but, you know, i kinda- was wondering- damn! I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.  

- Wanna try again? - I chuckled again, but tried to encourage him to say whatever he wanted to say.

- Yeah… - Ray looked at me, his cheeks flushed, and nodded, looking like he was bracing himself.- Do you wanna go out sometime? Like, maybe watch a movie after all this recording stuff is done?”

- Ray, I would love to! 

- Cool… - Ray scratched the back of his neck - I… uh, have to go now, you know, play guitar and all…

- Yeah, go ahead… - I couldn’t held a huge smile forming on my face - can't wait to our date

Ray smiled back, a little more relaxed, and gave me a small wave before heading back to the studio. I stood there, smiling to myself, already looking forward to whatever was about to unfold between us.

I took another sip from the coffee Ray had handed me, the warmth of the mug grounding me. The guys were busy, and the atmosphere around the studio was a mix of energy and exhaustion. But for the first time all day, I found myself completely at ease, the small conversation with Ray replaying in my mind. Just when I thought I could catch my breath, I heard a familiar voice.

- Hey! I’m back

I looked up to see Frank sauntering over, carrying a bag of snacks in one hand and a mischievous grin plastered on his face. He dropped the snacks down on the counter beside me, his eyes flicking over to where Ray had just left.

- You are really close to Ray… - Frank’s voice was teasing, but there was a glint of curiosity in his eyes. - there’s something you are not telling me? 

I froze, my heart rate picking up for a split second. I had barely processed what had just happened with Ray, and now Frank was making it sound like something bigger.

- I don't know what you’re talking about -  I tried to sound casual, but it was hard to hide the flush creeping up my neck.

- Uhum… spit it out. - Frank raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. - I know you since forever, i know when you are trying to hide something

I swallowed, feeling a bit cornered by his gaze. He wasn’t going to let this go. Frank had known me forever. Knew when I was lying, when I was nervous, and when something was up.

- Frankie… - I tried to deflect, but his expectant stare didn’t waver. He was relentless

- You know i will keep being annoying until you tell me, right? - he pressed, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

I sighed, knowing there was no avoiding this. There was no way to play it cool anymore.

- Ray asked me out okay?

Frank’s eyes went wide for a second, and his grin stretched across his face.

- And you said yes? - he asked, his voice laced with excitement and disbelief.

- What do you think? - I shot back, trying to act indifferent, but my heartbeat quickened all the same.

Frank clapped his hands together, nearly knocking over the snacks in his enthusiasm.

- Aww, my best friend and my bandmate… -  he said, teasingly, leaning in closer - If you ever trade me for him, i swear to god, i will kill you

- I won't, Frank, relax - I rolled my eyes, a chuckle slipping from my lips.

- So, where are you guys going? - Frank leaned back against the counter, his eyes gleaming with mischief. 

- Movies. -  I shrugged, trying to play it off like it was no big deal, though my stomach was doing somersaults at the thought of it.

- That's kinda romantic… I can even picture - he said, his tone shifting, and I could see him getting lost in his own thoughts. - You both watch some weird movie, your hands brushing when you grab popcorn, and then, at some point you both will look at each other, a lot of chemistry in the air… then you both kiss… 

I almost choked on my coffee, feeling my face turn crimson. 

- Shut up, Iero! -  snapped, pushing him lightly away from me. My nerves were starting to take over again.

- Hey, just saying… - Frank held up his hands, laughing. He looked at me with a grin that was equal parts teasing and affectionate. - And you will tell me everything that happens on that date.

- Yeah, sure… - I rolled my eyes. - aren't you supposed to play guitar there?

- Rude! - He gasped, pretending to be offended. - But you’re right. Bye… but I will ask you a lot more questions after that date!

*** time skip ***

The day ran slower than I intended. I waited all day, and if you asked Frank he would tell you how much I hate waiting. Watching guys recording is nice, but I could barely pay attention to what they were playing, my gaze shifted to the clock on the wall all the time, and it seemed to be in slow motion. 

As we stepped out of the studio and into the cool evening air, I could feel my nerves creeping back in. It wasn’t like I hadn’t hung out with Ray before, we’d spent countless hours together, jamming, goofing off, talking about music and life. But this time, there was an unspoken shift between us, something lingering in the air that made my chest feel tight.

Ray, on the other hand, seemed more at ease. He walked beside me with a quiet confidence, his hands stuffed into his pockets, the corners of his mouth twitching into a small smile every now and then.

- So -  I started, breaking the silence between us - you already picked the movie? 

Ray let out a small chuckle, shaking his head.

- Not really… - He looked over at me, a small, almost hesitant smile playing at his lips. - I was thinking you can pick the movie this time, and i pick next time…

- Next time?- I raised an eyebrow. 

Ray’s step faltered for half a second before he quickly recovered. 

- Yeah… -  he cleared his throat, suddenly very focused on the sidewalk. - I-i mean… if you were up to after today

I smirked, feeling a tiny thrill at the way he stumbled over his words. 

- We’ll see… - I teased, nudging his arm lightly.

- Alright, fair enough.- Ray laughed under his breath, shaking his head. 

The theater lights glowed ahead, casting a warm golden hue over the sidewalk. As we approached, Ray pulled open the door, gesturing for me to go in first.

- Thanks, gentleman. - I smirked as I stepped inside.

- Always .-  He grinned, following close behind.

Inside, the smell of buttery popcorn filled the air, mingling with the soft hum of moviegoers chatting in the lobby. Ray glanced over at me before making a beeline for the concession stand.

- Wait here, - he said, holding up a finger before I could protest.

- Ray-

- Nope. - He shook his head, already pulling out his wallet. - I’m getting us popcorn. No arguments.

I sighed but smiled, watching as he placed the order. It was oddly endearing, the way he was determined to do this right, no matter how small the gesture was.

A minute later, he turned back to me, holding a large bucket of popcorn. 

- For us to share, - he said, a little sheepishly.

-  Smooth, Toro - I rolled my eyes playfully.

- I try. - He grinned.

With snacks secured, we made our way inside the dimly lit theater, the large screen already playing pre-show advertisements. Ray followed behind me as I led the way to a pair of seats near the middle. As soon as we sat down, he rested the popcorn between us, stretching one arm lazily over the back of his seat.

Ray’s 1st Person POV

To be honest, I didn’t even care what movie she picked, I knew I wouldn’t pay attention anyway. The screen flickered in front of us, but my eyes weren’t on it. Instead, they were on her.

She, on the other hand, looked completely focused, her expression shifting slightly with every scene. The glow of the screen illuminated her face, casting soft shadows over her features. Damn… I’d seen pretty girls before, but she was something else. No words could do her justice.

Her hair was perfectly messy, falling in waves like it had been sculpted to look effortlessly cool. And her eyes, God, those eyes, were the kind you could get lost in if you weren’t careful. Every little detail about her seemed perfectly placed, as if the universe had taken its time creating her.

And her lips?

Jesus. My throat went dry just thinking about them. I knew she probably tasted like butter and popcorn right now, but honestly? I’d take it. In this moment, I’d give anything just for a taste.

I don’t even remember when it started, when I stopped seeing her as just Frank’s best friend and started seeing her. But once it happened, there was no going back. She was always in my head. Even when I was playing guitar, my fingers moved out of habit, but my mind drifted to her. It was easy to talk to her, even easier to laugh with her. And when she laughed? It lit up the entire room.

Then, it happened.

Our hands brushed as we reached for the popcorn at the same time. A small, almost insignificant touch. But then it happened again. And again.

Each time, a shiver ran down my spine. It was ridiculous, really, I’d touched her before, just friendly nudges and high-fives. But this? This felt different. This felt like something I wasn’t sure I was ready for but wanted anyway.

I swallowed hard, trying to focus on the movie, trying to act normal. But my hand still tingled where it had touched hers, and I had a feeling that, for me, there was no pretending anymore.

1st Person POV

The credits rolled, and the lights slowly came up, pulling me out of the story. I stretched a little, reaching for the last few pieces of popcorn, but my mind wasn’t entirely on the movie anymore.

Ray had been acting… different.

Not in a bad way. Just something about the way he looked at me tonight felt heavier, like his gaze actually lingered instead of just casually drifting by. And then there was the whole popcorn thing. Our hands kept brushing, but neither of us moved away. If anything, I started to think he was doing it on purpose.

We stepped out of the theater, the cool night air hitting my skin after the warmth of the crowded room. I glanced at Ray as he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, his curls a little messy from the wind. He looked good like that. Relaxed. But also… nervous?

- So…- I nudged him lightly with my shoulder. - Did you even watch the movie, or were you just pretending?

Ray let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head. 

- I mean… I watched it.- He hesitated, then glanced at me with a smirk. - Kinda hard to focus when you keep stealing all the popcorn.

- Oh, I was stealing the popcorn? - I raised an eyebrow, pretending to be offended. - Excuse me, Mr. Hand-hovering-over-the-bucket-every-five-seconds.”

He laughed again, and something about the way his face lit up made my chest tighten. It was easy with Ray. Effortless.

As we walked down the street, the air between us felt charged in a way I hadn’t noticed before. Or maybe I had noticed, but now I couldn’t ignore it.

At some point, he reached for my hand. Not in an obvious way, just a casual brush of his fingers against mine before he curled them around my hand completely.

I should’ve been surprised. But I wasn’t.

It felt natural, like something we should’ve been doing this whole time.

I stole a glance at him, watching as he swallowed hard, his grip on my hand tightening just slightly.

- So… does this mean there’s gonna be a next time? - I teased, referring to our conversation before the movie.

Ray stopped walking.

I turned to face him, and suddenly, I realized just how close we were standing. The streetlights cast a soft glow around us, and everything else, the passing cars, the distant sound of laughter, faded into the background.

His eyes flickered down to my lips, and I felt my stomach flip.

- I really hope so,- he murmured.

And then, before I could even think, he leaned in.

It was slow at first, like he was giving me a chance to pull away. But I didn’t. Instead, I met him halfway, my breath hitching just before his lips finally pressed against mine.

Soft. Warm. Butter and popcorn and him.

The moment stretched on, neither of us pulling away, neither of us in any rush. His hand came up, fingers brushing against my jaw, and I swore I could feel my heart pounding in my throat.

When we finally broke apart, I couldn’t help but smile.

- Well,- I said, my voice a little breathless. - That answers that question.

Ray chuckled, his forehead resting against mine.

- Yeah,- he whispered. - I guess it does.

After that, he walked me home, and the whole night, my mind refused to settle. Every time I closed my eyes, I could still feel the way he kissed me, slow at first, then deeper, like he didn’t want to let go. I could still feel the warmth of his hand in mine, the way his thumb brushed over my skin absentmindedly, like he was memorizing the feeling.

*** time skip ***

And, of course, I texted Frank the second I got inside. Not that I really had a choice, since he had already sent a message before I could even kick my shoes off.

"Sup, gurl! How was your date? 👀"

I barely had time to type out "We kissed." before my phone started ringing.

Frank freaked out. Loudly. I had to hold the phone away from my ear while he went on about how he knew it, how he had been waiting for this to happen, and how I better not replace him with Ray now. 

The next few days felt… different.

Not in a bad way—actually, in a way that made my chest feel warm every time I thought about it.

Ray was always around. Not in an obvious, clingy way, but in a way that made it impossible to ignore the shift between us. He’d find little excuses to stand close, to brush his fingers over mine when passing something to me, and sometimes, when no one was looking, he’d kiss me. Soft, fleeting kisses that made my heart race.

And sometimes, he’d hold my hand, his thumb rubbing slow circles against my skin, like a silent reminder that whatever this was, it was real.

We weren’t official or anything. Not yet. But… I kind of wanted to be.

Ten days passed like that.

Ten days of stolen moments. Of whispered conversations when no one else was listening. Of lingering glances across the room when he thought I wasn’t looking.

And now, on the tenth day at the studio, we were on a break. Gerard and Frank had stepped outside for a smoke, Mikey had gone to get coffee, and I was left alone, sitting on the small couch, mindlessly scrolling through my phone.

That’s when Ray walked in.

His curls were a little messier than usual, a few strands falling over his forehead, and he looked relaxed but focused, like there was something on his mind.

And when his eyes met mine, I knew.

Something was about to change.

Ray walked in, his eyes locking onto mine the moment he stepped into the room. There was something in his gaze, something heavier, more intense than usual. The kind of look that made my breath catch in my throat.

He didn’t say anything at first. Just closed the door behind him, the soft click echoing in the quiet studio.

My heart was already beating too fast.

- Hey, - I said, my voice softer than I meant for it to be.

- Hey.- His lips twitched up, but his eyes never lost that intensity. He moved closer, hands in his pockets, his fingers fidgeting like he was working something out in his head. - Alone in here?

- For now. - I nodded.

He hummed like he was considering something, then sat down next to me on the couch. Close enough that I could feel the warmth radiating from his body, but not quite touching. The air between us crackled with something unspoken, something thick enough that I could feel it pressing down on my skin.

The silence stretched, but it wasn’t awkward. It was charged, filled with everything we hadn’t said in the last ten days.

Then, he reached out.

Slowly, his fingers brushed over my thigh, barely there, just enough to send a shiver up my spine. My breath hitched. I turned my head toward him, and that’s when I realized just how close we were.

His face was inches from mine, close enough that I could see the way his pupils had blown wide, the way his lips parted slightly, like he was already thinking about kissing me.

Fuck.

He reached my lips, this was different.

The stolen kisses, the playful touches, those had been soft, easy. But this? This was a slow burn, something simmering just beneath the surface, waiting to spill over. He broke the kiss, just enough to reach my neck.

- You’ve been driving me crazy,- he murmured against my skin, his voice lower than usual. Rougher.

- Yeah? - I swallowed hard.

His hand moved, sliding up my thigh just a little, his fingertips ghosting over my jeans.

- Yeah.- He exhaled sharply, like he was holding something back. - I keep telling myself I’ll take it slow, that I’ll be patient, but then I see you, and..

He broke off, shaking his head with a breathless laugh. 

- You have no idea what you do to me.

My pulse was pounding.

I could’ve played it cool, could’ve teased him about it. But the truth was, I felt it too. The pull between us, the way the room suddenly felt too hot, too small.

So, instead of answering, I reached out, fingers curling into the front of his shirt, pulling him in just enough that I could feel his breath against my lips.

- What if I don’t want you to be patient? - I whispered.

His eyes darkened.

For a second, he didn’t move, like he was giving me a chance to change my mind. Like he was making sure I really meant it.

Then, he was kissing me again.

Not soft, not careful. This time, it was hungry.

His hand slid up, gripping my waist as he pulled me onto his lap, my knees bracketing his thighs. I gasped into his mouth, and he groaned, the sound sending a rush of heat straight through me.

My arms were around his neck, and we broke apart, our foreheads touching.

- Are you sure you want this, sweetheart?

His voice was low, and he looked deep in my eyes.

- Yeah - I whispered, my fingers threading through his curls. - Yeah, I'm sure.

His jaw tensed like he was trying to keep himself together, like he was holding back, even though everything in his body screamed that he didn’t want to.

- Fuck, - he muttered under his breath. - You have no idea what you just did to me.

His hands moved, running up my back, slow but deliberate, like he was memorizing every inch of me. Then, in one swift motion, he shifted, pressing me down against the couch. His weight was warm, solid, overwhelming in the best way possible.

I gasped, but it wasn’t from surprise… it was from need.

His lips were on mine again, but this time, it was different.

Deeper.

Hungrier.

His hands slid down my sides, gripping my hips like he needed to keep himself grounded. I could feel his breath against my skin, hot and uneven, as he dragged his lips along my jaw, down to my neck.

I tilted my head instinctively, giving him more room, and fuck, I didn’t expect how good it would feel when he bit down, just enough to make my breath hitch.

- Ray - I gasped, my nails digging into his shoulders.

- Mm? - he hummed against my skin, his lips curving into a smirk.

Cocky bastard.

I tugged at his shirt in response, and he laughed, low and rough, before leaning back just enough to pull it over his head.

And goddamn, I knew Ray was strong, I’d seen him play, seen him lift amps like they weighed nothing, but seeing him like this, all broad shoulders and toned arms, hovering over me with that look in his eyes…

Yeah. I was in trouble.

He leaned in again, pressing his forehead to mine for just a second, like he was savoring the moment.

Then, his lips brushed against mine, softer this time, but still just as urgent.

- Tell me if you want me to stop,- he murmured, his fingers teasing the hem of my shirt.

I arched into his touch, my body already answering for me.

- I don’t, - I breathed. - Don’t stop

His eyes darkened.

- Good,-  he muttered. - Because I wasn’t planning to.

With one smooth motion, he pulled my shirt over my head, tossing it aside without a second thought. But instead of moving right back in, he paused. His eyes roamed over me, slow and deliberate, like he was memorizing every inch of my skin.

His lips curled into a grin, warm and teasing. That grin, the one that always made my stomach flip.

- You are so pretty… - His voice was low, almost reverent. He ran his fingers lightly down my side, sending a shiver through me. - So fucking perfect.

Before I could even respond, his hands were on my hips, grounding me, his lips claiming mine in a way that had me melting against him. Open-mouthed kisses, deep and consuming, leaving me breathless. He tasted like something sweet and intoxicating, and I knew I’d never get enough.

His hand slid down my lower back, fingers teasing the waistband of my jeans, tracing the edge with a touch so light it was almost torturous. My breath hitched, anticipation curling in my stomach as his fingers found the button.

With practiced ease, he popped it open, then tugged the denim down, his fingertips ghosting over my skin in the process. Every touch, every movement, felt like it carried weight, like he wasn’t just rushing to undress me, he was relishing it.

It wasn’t slow, but somehow, it felt that way. He had this way of making every second stretch, like he wanted me to feel everything, like he wanted to take his time with me.

His lips moved along my neck, pressing kisses that sent warmth pooling deep in my stomach. My fingers tangled in his curls, pulling him closer, feeling the way he hummed against my skin.

And god, the weight of him on top of me, pressing me into the couch, was just as good as the way his hands slid down my waist, as the way his breath came ragged against my collarbone.

He pulled back slightly, just enough to reach for his own belt, undoing it with a sharp clink before pushing his jeans down.

Oh, God…

My pulse roared in my ears as I took him in, the way his skin was flushed, the way his chest rose and fell with deep, uneven breaths, the way his eyes darkened as he hovered over me.

And then, with a smirk, he leaned in again, his lips brushing mine as he murmured, 

- You okay, sweetheart?

I could barely nod before his hands were on me again.

It didn’t take him long to unclasp my bra, his fingers working with effortless ease before he slid the straps down my arms, tossing it aside like it was the most natural thing in the world. The rest of my underwear followed, leaving me completely bare beneath him.

There I was—laid out on the couch in the dim light of the studio, skin flushed, breath uneven, with Ray’s lips on mine, his body pressing against me like he never wanted to let go.

I wasn’t prepared for the moment he pushed his boxers down.

I gasped, my breath hitching as I took him in. Oh, fuck.

A sudden wave of nervous anticipation curled in my stomach. He was… big. And for a brief second, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to take him, not easily.

Ray must’ve noticed my hesitation because his hands found my thighs, warm and steady, his thumbs brushing soothing circles against my skin. His lips hovered over mine, his voice low and reassuring.

- I got you, babe - he murmured.

Then, with deliberate slowness, he parted my legs, positioning himself between them.

And without a moment’s hesitation, he was pushing inside, inch by inch, slow enough for me to adjust, slow enough for the delicious burn to spread through me.

I gasped again, nails digging into his shoulders as pleasure and pressure intertwined, my body stretching to accommodate him.

And damn, he felt so good…

I moaned his name, breathless, as he moved, his rhythm sending waves of pleasure through me. His groan vibrated against my neck, deep and rough, making me shiver. I had wanted this for so long, and somehow, it was even better than I ever imagined.

The heat built inside me, coiling tighter and tighter, every touch, every thrust, pulling me closer to the edge. My fingers tangled in his curls, gripping tight as my body tensed.

- R-Ray…- I barely managed to whisper, my voice trembling.

- Mmh? - He hummed against my skin, his lips grazing my jaw. 

- I’m close… - I gasped, sucking in a sharp breath.

His hands tightened on my hips, his pace never faltering. 

- Then do it for me, - he whispered, his voice like velvet, warm and commanding. Then, his teeth grazed my earlobe in a teasing bite, sending a jolt of pleasure straight through me.

And that was all it took.

I came undone beneath him, my whole body arching into his, waves of ecstasy crashing over me. He followed right after, groaning my name like it was the only thing that mattered, his grip on me tightening as he lost himself completely.

For a moment, all I could hear was the sound of our ragged breathing, our bodies tangled together, still trembling from the aftershocks.

He kissed me one last time, before he looked at me, smiling weakly

- Are we dating now, right? - He asked, a bit uncertain, like he hadn't just claimed me seconds ago.

- Yes, Ray, we are. - I smiled back, before reaching for my clothes.

___________________________________________

- So... That's it! hope u like it! feedbacks are always welcome! <3

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