One day as I was rewatching season two of Young Royals my mom came down and discovered what I was doing. Which led to a disastrous coming out, and what felt like hell on earth for about a month. Until I cracked, said I repented of my "sins" and started lying and covering up who I was once again. All that to say, before I came out Young Royals was such a comfort to me, and throughout this whole process it has continued to be a huge bright spot in my life. This finale means so much more to me than I can express. Seeing these two characters have the happy ending they deserve, just makes me feel hopeful for my own future one day. Where maybe I can be myself, feel completely joyful and free, and find someone to experience that freedom with.
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hey friends i'm considering starting an account on one of the Sites so that i can post content that won't get removed in case they ever zap this acct again. pls share your thoughts!! esp if you're a casual creator/have a free to subscribe-pay for customs model or similar.
i'm thinking mine would be free to subscribe and would be similar content to what i publish here plus some more. i'm not looking to do this full time and know certain sites have diff rates for payout, rules about what kinds of content you can post and such. i know some things and think i am leaning toward the OG (replace G with an F, get it) but am curious to hear from folks that use similar Sites !
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i need to do an info dump on the whole taking a human form thing and how like different circumstances can actually extend the length of how long a siren can stay in a human form ( but they also can't change back until the time is up either ). like blood moons & blue moons can take that whole three days of being able to walk the land like a human to instead a week, the week surrounding the events with the moon. Again, if a siren chooses to take on a human form during this time then they are letting themselves be vulnerable and it is rare that a siren chooses to partake in such during these times ( gar isn't scared he will LMFAO )
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i like how i say that i'm a dsmp fanartist yet i've barely watched any streams (i really struggle with that) and i'm one of the worst people at accurately characterising a character (i am so bad at it) like IT'S REALLY EMBARRASSING... "i wanna meet more dsmp fans!" i say as i'm one of the most clueless people ever about the dsmp
sorry to any dsmp friends (if i make any) because errmm i'll mischaracterise everyone (i'm not very smart)
... i should really make an effort with watching streams though tbh... i'm just really lazy and get bored a little too easily
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sometimes i am tempted to try and find science (specifically astrophysics) forums to talk on because I have such a genuinely love for it but just. Don't have the money to go to college for it and don't know if I'm willing to go into insane student debt for it. But then I get hit with the crippling fear that I won't be welcomed in those spaces because I don't actually know a lot since theres only so much I can learn through online articles and basic books from libraries.
I don't want to make a fool of myself and be any more discouraged from learning about things I love than I already am, but it can be so lonely being the only person I know that likes these kinds of things and I just want to talk about them. I want to have someone else info dump to me about them. I wanna have conversations.
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stellas backstory: boy
Willows backstory: yummy
Dragonflys backstory: Haha...
Ivyhorns backstory: aww..
Timelasps backstory: Damn!
Reis backstory: ..damn..
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maaaaaan.....
having to socialize frequently because of joining the local theatre group has really made it painfully clear to me how degraded my social skills have become lol. like.....it's fine.....but also.....i am so fucking awkward and out of it sometimes and it is really obvious :')
i honestly feel like i used to be really social and outgoing as a kid/up until middle school????? after that life just got real weird and fucky and i curled in on myself and became a depressed and anxious mess. those years really just drained me in so many ways :////
now that i'm feeling much better, i wanna try to work on getting back to my more sociable self! i miss being able to just start and have a conversation with someone and make them smile or laugh! i used to have a lot of friends as a kid and got along with most of my peers.....getting back to some of that just a little bit would be nice
then again.....when i was a kid, i had more in common with my peers in terms of interests and hobbies so idk.....making friends outside of online interactions have been really damn difficult for YEARS now tho......
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Being 30+ and learning more and more that hey maybe I’m actually autistic is so wild because every now and then I’ll remember something from my past that, at the time it happened, may have just been a slightly embarrassing moment or even something I never really thought twice about, but now realizing that it was yet another sign.
Today, I recalled the time I was a Freshman in college, in my Drawing class (I was a fine arts major), and we were discussing Frida Kahlo. At some point during the slide show of Kahlo’s works, my professor asked us “does anyone know what major traumatic event happened to cause her to be bedridden?” Or something like that (c’mon this was 10+ years ago…). And boy oh boy did I know the answer to this! I mean I’d learned about it from my high school Spanish teacher! I’d taken AP Art History! I knew this! And so I proudly - and very loudly - exclaimed “she was in a bus accident and was impaled in the vagina by a metal pole!”
Some students thought I was being funny and laughed at the joke. Some students looked at me like uhh wtf. And the professor, who’d only known me for a few weeks (it was still early in the semester) but had known me to be shy and quiet, hesitated for a minute before continuing the lesson, “y-yeah, she was in a bus accident and yes she was unable to have children because of her severe injuries.”
It never occurred to me in that moment that hey maybe I shouldn’t shout about Frida Kahlo’s vagina in the middle of class.
It also didn’t occur to me until much later that I was possibly very wrong about where exactly she was injured by that pole…
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