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inaris-mage-of-storms · 1 year ago
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Evening plans: lay on the floor and have Feelings about a Discord server apparently
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delusional-mushroom · 9 months ago
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Platonic Hazbin Hotel x Autism creature reader
Part i | Part ii
Child.
You are everyone’s baby. The only exceptions to that are people younger than you, in which case the sibling certificate is signed and framed on their wall.
For simplicity’s sake, you’re an angel. Maybe an Seraphim or another heaven-born like a throne or a dominion.
You have wings on the sides of you head, and whenever visual sensory gets too stimulating, you can make them cover your eyes.
You used to run into things a lot because of this, until you were a given a service animal in the form of a lil snakey-snake.
His name is Speckle and his sight is linked with yours.
Social cues? What are those? Never heard of them
You and Emily are best friends
Istg Sera low-key can’t keep up with you two
You followed Adam around like a lost puppy one time, and then once he finally turned around to confront you, you only muttered “I wonder if you would be able to fly with frogs instead of your wings” with a faraway look in your eyes
You listen to his music sometimes
Lute thinks you’re strange. But like a funny strange
Emily and Adam are your figit-dealers
You mostly info dump about your special interest to Adam. Lute always brings snacks when she knows you’re coming over because you always make it sound like your voicing over a documentary.
You zone out a lot when your with Sera. If you ever disassociate around her she’ll try to calmly ground you back. I have a feeling she might act a bit ableist without realising tho 😔
Saint Peter also likes hearing about your special interests. Might be a bit judgey tho.
When Charlie and Vaggie came for the meeting, you were Emily’s hypeman through the whole tour.
Sera and Vaggie could not keep up with you three
When the court meeting started, you got yourself a carton of apple juice, believing nothing could go wrong.
When the news of the extermination dropped, you spat out your apple juice and choked on it.
Speckle hissed cuz the juice got on him
You just shut down after that
disassociation here you come!
You only came back when Charlie and Vaggie were already sent back through the portal thingy.
You parroted All of Emily’s questions with an added “yeah, why is that?”
You were questioning everything
“‘Don’t question’ my ass” is what you would have liked to say, if it wasn’t for the fact that your tongue went limp and your head was ringing as you sifting through all of your memories with a new outlook on how fucked up everything was.
You had a breakdown when you got home.
Speckle could feel your pulse rising and tried to soothing you with soft hisses but you were having none of it.
You went behind everyone’s backs and started looking for ways to help Charlie.
Apparantly you weren’t as discreet as you thought because one day, a hole opened up in the cloudy ground, swallowing you whole
The last thing you could hear was Speckle’s distressed hisses in your ear as you fell down towards the smokey, red pits below.
Bro i know this sucked but I’m about to go to sleep and really wanted to write this for some reason. See you all whenever I decide to make part 2.
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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago
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Ducktales: Woo-oo! Review! or From the Top
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Hello all you happy people! And to those of you just joining this blog, welcome I review ducks, other animated shows and comics... and today’s review is special for me. For a number of reasons. For starters it’s a reminder how far i’ve come. See I always wanted to be a reviewer, ever since high school when a friend showed me a certain online reviewer whose now dead to me, and opened me up to a world of much better reviewers who i’m still fans of to this day, and ones who came after them , and after that and so on and so on. I so badly wanted a community to belong to I struggled to be a youtube reviewer but frankly lacked the talent or self confidence back then to try, so my attempts over the decade were a series of stops and starts. Of me starting to find my niche writing only to stop because I hated myself so much, and still struggle with that, i’d tell myself I could never do it, I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t funny enough and no one cared. I kept shutting myself down AGAIN AND AGAIN, for far too long. 
But that all changed a year ago next month: I’d long been a fan of the Ducktales Reboot. I was caustiously optimistic when it was announced. The optimism came from a deep abiding love of scrooge as a character despite not having dove into his comics that deep, I didn’t have an easy way at the time, thanks to life and times and what comics I had read, and was excited to see a fresh reboot closer to the comics with my eternal boy Donald Duck back in the main character. The caution.. came from the fact that at the time we’d gotten a string of bad to medicore reboots: Teen Titans GO, Powerpuff Girl, and Ben 10 which started pretty meh but has turned into alirght from some of the later episodes I saw. I wanted to be hyped to all hell but I had no proof this wasn’t going to be another dumbed down reboot. Then comic con came, the first teaser poster dropped, and my skepticism died.
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It was perfect: a barksian art style with it’s own twists! Donald full on display! And best of all the triplets FINALLY had not only unique outfits but personalities! I’ve long went on in my reviews about how much that annoyed me and while it worked for the barks comics ever since then it’s just felt like a waste to have three characters there.. and not even the SLIGHTEST difference. 
My anticipation only grew with the full trailer, the promo posters as more and more info showed how good this series would be, how unique it’d be, and how much tw as taking what made the comics great, giving us a better distalation of that while still being very much it’s own beast. And once this episode dropped.. that faith was unfounded. Woo-oo! is without hyperbole, one of the best pilots i’ve seen, one that introduced the entire main cast perfectly, gets the series tone and mission statment out just right and in general set the stage for one of the best shows of the 2010′s (and 2020′s, even if it only lasted a year and some change). Wheras Teen Titans GO actively tried to take a dump on it’s source material, they thankfully have stopped that but it dosent’ make those early years any less grating, Ducktales was a breath of fresh air that honored the past while making i’ts own future. I tried talking about it but it was all in other failed attempts at reviewing: solo podcasts, my breif second video review career.. stuff no one rightly cared about and I just couldn’t get the hang of. 
So this is where we loop back to last year: I decided to finally try and cover it one more time, not realizing this would be my last chance as it came out anyway, and since I was doing text reviews but my output had slid in the new year, I decided to review Season 3 as it came out. If it bottomed out I could always stop.... and I just never did. I kept going, eventually finding new fans, a patreon (The other one’s an old friend of mine), and not only got paid doing what I love.. but found some peace.  I reviewed other shows as they came out, covered things i’d wanted to cover for years like life and times, scott pilgrim and x-men,. I covered other shows as they came out, found people willing to talk over my opinions and found my niche at long last. 
So that’s why the long speech folks: After almost a year of reviewing i’m properly covering the start of something that made me happier than I had been in a long time and gave me hope during one of the worst periods of ALL our lives. Something i’ve wanted to cover since I finally got started last year, and something truly amazing. So i’d be honored if you’d join me under the cut as I talk about the genesis of one of the best series Disney has ever put out. 
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Behind the Scenes Stuff:  Most details I could find were sparse. it took going back to the first month the show came out and looking at a LOT of unrelated questions to finally find out Frank and Matt outright pitched the show. This dosen’t suprise me as both are huge ducktales fans with Matt having drawn his own duck comics as a kid and Frank taking it an extra mile having sang the theme song in his first grade talent show, worked it into his vows and got his first daughter’s first word to be “Woo-oo”. It’s very clear this show as a labor of love for them something they dreamed of Disney made possible. 
Otherwise I don’t have much on the genisis of the show: It was in the earliest ideas going to be a revivial but Frank and Matt both decided against it , deciding it’d be unfair to expect kids from 30 years after the original to know the source material, and instead just starting it over outright, which was the right call especailly with Alan Young’s passing. 
Design wise I found quite a bit of concept art thanks to one website, and it’s incredibly intresting. This is why i’ve really gotten into art books: I like seeing this early stuff what characters used to be, figuring out or outright hearing from the creators mouths why they changed it that sort of thing. 
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Starting off we have some early designs for Donald, with him wearing the sailor suit as a kid but his Quackshot outfit as an adult, something I honestly wish they’d kept but get why they changed it: The iconic sailor suit both helps contrast him with della and fits his reluctance to adventure in season 1 more. I still wish that they worked the Quackshot outfit in somewhere, but they worked in so damn much, it’s hard to complain> Though I probably will make a list of “things I wished they’d worked” in at some point and i’d be lying inf I siad my mind wasn’t currently turning the gears to figure out how to work this into a fanfic. Oohhh maybe as Dewey’s outfit as an adult but blue, obviously. 
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Next we have Donald settled more into his final apperance as well as the boy’s first outfits.  As you can tell from both of these the show originally went more with the classic art style before getting the one we’re familiar with now, one I love by the way and was made to combine a classic cartoon style with the visual of the comics. Donald originally had his classic outfit before they transitioned to the more barks style one, a good call.  
The interesting bit though is obviously the boys original outfits which i’m honestly bummed didn’t make it for Huey and Louie, not so much Dewey minus the visor. I do get the changes though: The hoodie Dewey had fit WAY beter on Louie, and the lumberjack shirt didn’t quite fit the nerdier huey. Still look nice. Dewey’s is okay, but only the visor is something I really gregret them removing same with louie’s fedora. It would’ve been neat ot keep the hat thing, but have each hat be unique. Likely they simplified things to make animation easier and simply removed the hats for some reason, but it’s nice ot see these more detailed original drafts and it is VERY interesting to find that differentiating the triplets was something planned from the earliest concept art. Though given Matt and Frank said in interviews they wanted a more natural family feel, it’s not a huge surprise. 
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Scrooge like everyone BUT the boys thus far, naturally also had his original outfit at first, but like he ended up doing in the series rotated a bit, if not as much in the final product. We also see a protoype for his final design, the old coat but with a jacket over it in the last image. I also notice Donald seemed a lot more like his old comics self in the concept art with quackshot!donald. 
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Like everyone else, Webby and Launchapd were originally their 87 deisgns, though Launchpad’s slightly diffrent jacket and green scarf were changed from the start. Webby is the closest to her 87 design, and as shown in the previous Lena concept art from my “Spies Like Us and Dime after Dime” double feature, she still had her new personality. More on that in a bit. 
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Finally we have Flintheart, whose design is a bit diffrent from 87: He was a chub from day one it appears, though they’d exagerate it, and his beard was a bit longer at first like his other incarnations. 
Beakly is largely unchanged form 87, only given a coat, which would gradually be mofidied, much liekt he boys into her current outfit. 
As you can tell Beakly, Webby and Launchpad were all there from day one as they wanted them from the original ducktales just updated. 
Production wise they wanted to go handrawn, chose the style they did to have something close to the comics that felt classicly aniamteda t the same time, I feel they succeeded and wanted a show that felt like the original. I do think this show has it’s own feel but it does feel ducktales. I badly hope for an artbook at some point though as this show probably hada  LOT more intresting concept art. Seriously Disney I will PAY YOU to look at your neat art. Please. 
So they created a fully formed world and put the characters in it, wanting it to feel like the world had existed before and had throughly been explored and letting our young heroes be the watson to Donald and Scrooge’s holmes. 
Finally Della was indeed part of the initial pitch and a core idea from day one as every family has secrets and Della felt like one that had been lurking around the fringes of the story for 80 years. The rest of the production stuff i’ll weave in as we go but first one last stop, the STELLAR voice cast, none of whom outsideo f Tony i’ve talked about before sooooo...
The All Star Cast
The casting was outstanding here, with Matt admitting the cast brought a LOT to the characters, especially Ben Schwartz whose taken on Dewey was so unique and intresting they actually rewrote some of his dialouge for the pilot to fit this version better. This is far and away one of the best casts in western animation, most coming from comedy backgrounds and one or two coming from a voice acting background, but all bringing their absolute best. And since our main 8 are all in the pilot let’s run them down along with Keith Ferguson shall we?
Playing everyone’s faviorite billionare scotsman  and one of the very few to ever do so, we have David Fucking Tennant. David was their “First and only choice” and for good reason: David is a talented actor with a MASSIVE amount of stage, tv and audio drama credits. His biggest and best known role is playing the 10th Doctor on Doctor Who, which while not my faviorite (That’d be matt smith, as he’s both the one I came in on and hte one who got me hooked) he’s still  VERY close second and damn talented and I need to watch more of his tenure. Outside of that just to condense it to his ongoing roles on stuff and bigger roles: Filmwise he’s had starring roles in the Fright Night remake, You, Me and Him, Fish Without Bicycles and Bad Samartains, and is set to do a voice for the upcoming Loud House Movie, which excites me to no end. 
TV wise where most of his roles have been he got his first big starring role on the Telly with the BBC Mini series Taking Over the Asylum in the late 90′s. He’d go on to make a career out of doing mini’s for a while, also taking part in He Knew He Was Right, The Quatermass Experiment Remake, Casanova, Secret Smile.. and Blackpool. I saved Blackpool for last before we move into the Who era as if you’ve never heard of it.. it’s REALY fucking weird. It’s a jukebox musical about a man who wants to make Blackpool, a real city, into the new vegas and Tennat plays a cop investigating a case around the guy and also trying to get with his wife because they used to date and because our lead is philandering jackass. That’s already kinda nuts.. but then you get to the fact the songs are sung OVER the original songs instead of making a new version of them. It’s surreal to be sure but if you can find it it’s worth it for the handful of good numbers and how weird it looks and you can find clips of the songs on youtube if your intrested. Here’s a starter. 
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Your also welcome. He’d go on to play Detective Alec Hardy in Broadchurch to critical aclaim as well as be a part of it’s short lived american remake, would play the Fugitoid in tmnt 2007, Kilgrave in Jessica Jones, one of his few post who roles i’ve seen or heard besides Scrooge and easily some of his best work he NAILS that purple bastard perfectly, would make his own show Staged about a fictional version of himself putting on a Stage play that’s still ongoing, and is currently , along with Ducktales as it wraps up, the voice of Lord Commander on Final Space, with the character returning this season judging by the trailers to fan delight and terror. He’s a VERY talented actor and voice actor and I do hope he goes on to do more and more voice work in years to come as, with his background in radio, he was born for it. 
He was also born for this roll, playing Scrooge perfectly and easily matching Alan Young in quality, not a small feat and i’ts VERY obvious why he was their one and only choice. 
Next up is another legend, Tony Anselmo who we’ve talked about before when I covered legend of the Three Cablleros: He’s been Donald’s voice since shortly before Ducktales, hasn’t done much else but given he’s THE voice for the character and this show let him show off one hell of a range with teh voice, he dosen’t really need other credits. The man is a treasure and I fear loosing him one day and fear for whoever replaces him as they have a LOT to live up to. 
Getting into the triplets, we’re going by age so starting off we have Huey, voiced by Danny Pudi. Like most of this cast aside from Toks Ogladyve and Beck Bennet (Who I probably HAD seen on SNL but didn’t really know or look out for him on there till after Ducktales), I not only knew Danny but was a huge fan of his going in. This is due to his breakout role on the glorious sitcom Community, which sadly only had a handful of i’ts cast show up on this show. I mean you got Lin Manuel Miranda I’m sure Donald Glover would’ve said yes too. He grew up with Ducktales. Regardless his role as meta guy Abed was easily the best of the cast on that show, with Glover as troy a very close second and the two working at their best as a duo. Outside of that he’s had a few roles being a regular on Powerless, which I forgot existed and currently on Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet, and shockingly hasn’t done a ton of voice work. And given his performance as huey was one of the best parts of this show he REALLY, REALLY SHOULD. Please Danny. He’s also a loving husband, father and surprisingly a marathon runner. Never would’ve guessed.
Next up is SNL Alumn of 9 years, Bobby Monynihan. Bobby is naturally best known for that, my faviorite role of his being Ass Dan. That’s right bitch you know he’s going to live fore..
ASS DAN 1981-2021
He’ll be back. Outside of SNL he’s done a bunch of minor roles. He’s currently on the tragically mediocre sitcom Mr. Mayor, and voiced Panda on We Bare Bears. Hopefully he keeps up the good work as he deserves better than he’s gotten and Ducktales proves it. 
Finally for the triplets we have a rising star in voice acting, Ben Schrwartz. At the time Ducktales launched, I was a fan of his from his roll on parks and Rec as Jen Ralphio, aka older scummier Dewey. 
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Outside of his historic recurring role here he played a main role on House of Lies, a show I need to go back to, and has done other live action rolls but has REALLY hit his stride in voice acting. He started with voicing Randy Cunningham in Randy Cunningham 9th grade ninja and since then has hit the ground running: He was Rutabega on Bojack, Josh on Bob’s Burgers, and went on to complete the trifecta of blue nostalgic characters after voicing dewey by voicing Leo in Rise of the TMNT (and having one of the most unique and intresting versions of the character to play) and reprised the roll for the upcoming film. And of course he hit it HUGE by playing Sonic in the suprsingly fantastic Sonic the Hedgehog movie, and will do so again for the sequel and might even take up the roll for the games now Roger Craig Smith has retired. We shall see. Point is this guy’s at the top of his game and Dewey is part of that. Like with his brothers I can’t picture anyone else playing him. 
Rounding out the kids is Webby, played by the wonderous Kate Micucci. Kate is a lovely talented woman who mostly showed up in smaller parts, was part of the musical duo garfunkel and oates which even got their own tv show, and is currently a fairly prolific voice actor with this being her best known roll. I also had a bit of a crush on her once can you tell? Regardless besides absolutely nailing it as Webby she’s voiced Julie Kane in the crimnally short and even more crimnally not on Disney+ Motorcity, “Irma” in the 2012 TMNT cartoon, and the fact that “Irma” is in quotes should tell you how big a waste I felt it was having her NOT actually be Irma, despite Kate’s massive talent, the fact that Irma hadn’t been in anything since the 87 cartoon, and the fact that for added “Fuck you audience points” her krang form was voiced by Gilbert Godfried, who I love but whose casting feels like they wanted to make the twist as grating as possible. Good job there. 
Anyways her second biggest voice gig was as Sadie on Steven Universe, which took WAY too long to show off her absolutely tremendous singing voice. She started voicing Velma Dinkley in the mid-2010′s and has since, voiced Milo’s sister Sarah on Milo Murphy’s Law, Dr. Fox on Unikitty, and most recently voiced a sentient present on close enough who did this. 
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So yeah quite the career and like Ben she probably has a long and storied career in Voice Acting ahead. 
Next up is Beck Bennet as everyone’s friend Launchpad where he excels. He’s best known as a castmember on SNL outside of this, and shockingly hasn’t done a ton of voice work. The only other time i’ve caught him is in the same season of Close Enough as Luc, aka dude-bro satan. But like eveyrone else here who hasn’t done a lot of voice work so far or has been more selective I defintely hope he keeps going with it as he’s amazing. He and Ben will be co-starring on MODOK in May so i’m excited for that. 
Last up for the main cast is Beakly, voiced by  Toks Olagundoye, who I hadn’t heard of before this show and hasn’t done a lot outside of the two season sitcom the neighbors, the aliens one not the really terrible looking one, and a stint on Castle, but like everyone here deserves much more and if Beakly is any indication, really should stick with voice acting. 
Last up is Keith Ferguson as only he could as FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD, whose a staple in the voice acting community ever since 2000, and has had a TON of roles some of which I was unaware with him. Given Frank worked with him on Wonder Over Yonder, where he voiced Lord Hater to perfection, the two clearly have a close working relationship. He also has a close working relationship with Wonder creator Craig McCracken and has worked on all of his post-powerpuff girls show, voicing Bloo as his first major role, something I never would’ve guessed, and currently voicing Papa G on Kid Cosmic. 
Outside of Craig and Frank, he played both Karate Kid and Nemisis Kid on Legion of Super Heroes (Which really needs to come to HBO Max), Deputy Durland on Gravity Falls,  and Thunderbolt Ross on Avengers Earth’s Mighteist Heroes. He’s damn good and deserves the world for Glomgold alone and i’m glad Craig rung him up again as so far through my watch of Kid Cosmic he’s great. 
So with our cast in place, our past in place and you all likely ready to get on with it already let’s dive into the episode:
THE EPISODE: Part one Woo-Ooo!
We begin with a shot of a seagull flying overseagulls, a nice way to establish how this world works and how it bends expectations. They’d have to wait till season 3 to get a duck next to ducks but given that gag is one of the best of the series, it was worth it. 
Inside a house boat we meet Donald, Huey and Louie and get a sense of their personalities: Donald is panicked trying to get to a job interview and insists the boys wear life vests, showing his overprotectiveness and responsibility exclusive to this version. Louie stresses that Donald wear a suit instead of his normal clothes to properly impress the interviewer, showing his skill at people reading and manipulation, and Huey is making a nice, if messy, breakfast with a heartwarming message showing his heart and dedication. After finding out said Babysitter was sent to the wrong address, the boys TRY to hustle him out to stay alone.. only for Dewey to blow the scheme by starting the boat too early, letting Donald know he’s been had. Huey’s attempt to lie about it is of course the classic “Who’s Dewey?” Dewey’s caught wiring the boat and Donald throws them in the car, with Donald livid and the boys upset as their chafing at his constant overprotectiveness. 
Both sides aren’t wrong. tThe boys DID do something reckless, putting an old woman in the desert and risking their home just to go on a joyride. What they did was wrong.. but the boys AREN’T wrong for getting annoyed that he won’t let them DO anything and overly hovering over them when they CAN handle themselves as we’ll see. WE now know why: he lost their mother and his sister to her and scrooge’s recklesness. While he got therapy for his anger it’s clear he never properly got help about Della, and thus overcompensates by trying to keep what he has left of her alive. He means well.. but to them it comes off as him being manically overprotective with no good reason. They get into trouble because it’s the only way to DO anything away from him. He’s trying so hard not to loose them he almost has by the time hte series starts, and it’s telling that when they get context in Last Crash, they appricate him more from then on. They do love him, but their frustration is understandable even if what their doing is pretty damn stupid. But their also 10 and Donald’s the grown adult in therapy who should’ve dealt with this or tried to at least by now.
So with no other options Donald sets a course for McDuck manor which excites the boys who have heard of Scrooge McDuck and his exploits, each rattling off something they heard him do that fits their personality (Dewey picks him fighting a stone monster, Huey picks him uncovering a hoax and Louie picks his swimming in money. ) As Donald tries to get them to simmer down, they wonder what he’s up to
He’s up toooo.. depression. He’s in a room with his board, watching them with utter hate and sadness as they talk about cutting the invention and aviation departments. This scene plays ENTIRELY differently after the final two episodes of the season. Before it still plays well as Scrooge clearly resenting being stuck in a boring board meeting, having lost everything that made him him and just having lost his passion for life. Now? It plays as a man utterly disdainful of the men who made him give up on his daughter. While as far as he knows they did it to save his employees from his company collapsing, we know better now... and seriously where IS the rest of the board they just vanished after the Season 3 premiere.
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I don’t mind only one being fleshed out, unlike the triplets we only NEED the one I mind that they just never explained it and still haven’t. Hopefully the finale will. 
But back on the plot, it now plays as Scooge just full of hatred for them, knowing they had to do what they did, even if they weren’t emebzlling but still hating them and himself. He’s likely not even paying attention anymore because he just dosen’t CARE: he has all the money int he world.. and it couldn’t bring him his daughter back. As he sadly puts the coins he was fiddling with back and says see you tommorow he can’t even close the vault without a struggle. As we’ll see later the strength never left, it’s not like he stopped execrising.. but he has nothing left to fight for. Nothing left to care about. He could adventure agian so far.. but without Della or Donald, as we’d learn two seasons later the reason he enjoyed it again... what’s the point? He has nothing left except his money. 
This is also a nice parallel to the final Chapter of LIfe and Times. I always felt the first half of woo-ooo was a spiritual adaptation of chapter 12 of that: Scrooge meets the boys for the first time and with their help, and Donalds in the story< Webby and Launchpad here, he regains his passion and more importantly his family after driving them away> The how is very different: he did in life and times due to sinking to his lowest point morally, then cruelly dismissing his family when they tried to welcome him home and bury the hatchet despite what he’d done. Here.. he made a HORRIBLE mistake, one that wasn’t entirely on him but still cost him everything and spent the decade instead of stewing or making more money trying desperately to undo it. The end result is the same, a dried out husk of a man with nothing left to loose and no will to gain anything.
This husk has launchpad though whose introduced as his driver and while good with subs and planes.. isn’t great on the road. After that though Donald pulls up hoping to drop the kids off before Scrooge arrives. Naturally this being a cartoon and Donald having tempted fate with that Scrooge shows up telling him to jettison that Jallopy at once. And finding out who it is, apart from asking how Donald is and Donald doing the same, dosen’t sway him. The boys however freak out after finding out Scrooge is Donald’s and there uncle, with my faivriote bit of that being Dewey exiting the car via a window and rolling across the roof back in. Amazing bit of animation. Wish I had a gif of that. 
Donald makes the situation plane and angry and asks “Can you do that without LOOSING THEM”. And scrooge is so painfully disarmed by his reminder of his past mistakes and the fact his surrogate son still resents him, that he agrees before realizing “Shit I have to watch children now don’t I” as Donald drives off. As you probably guessed, this is another scene that plays differently in hindsight, if not by much: It still plays as two men too stubborn and bitter to reconcile.. but now we know the why behind both their rages it feels even sadder. They both lost the person they cared about most but as it sadly happens in real life both have dug in their heels to reconcile, both feeling their right when neither completely is. While Donald was right to be upset at scrooge and della for what happened, and is mostly taking it out on scrooge because he’s the one left... he’s held onto his anger for 10 years instead of going to help when he’s unemployed, living in a dilapidated houseboat and trying ot raise three children alone and could’ve used what help scrooge would give. Scrooge is right to be upset that Donald is just selectively ignoring everything he’s done to save Della, but is too stubborn and prideful to apologize for what he DID do wrong and feels that’s enough to make up for it when , while it is enough that donald should forgive him, still dosen’t mean he dosen’t have a lot to apologize for. Both are just too angry and too much alike, as much as it woudln’t seem so, to settle with each other and see too much of what they lost. 
So the kids follow Scrooge.. who forgets to open the door, and Beakly lets them in. It’s a nice subtle bit. After some silence, Bentina TRIES to get her old friend and now employer to talk to them, but he naturally refuses and they do the talking, asking tons of questions.. and Dewey ends the conversation by accidently pressing the “imply he USED to be something rather than is something right now “ button
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So Scrooge throws them in the twins old room, and Beakly gives them some marbles. You will give them b ack they will be counted. But another subtle touch I missed the first time is there... her sad look. She clearly doesn’t want to do this, but she has to play this carefully or else he might get mad and fire her on the spur of the moment. He’d obviously hire her back, where else is he going to get an ex spy who will both clean for him AND be his bodyguard and security. It’s a very small pool. Mostly because Beakly probably killed most of the other people who’d of fit that description during her spy days. 
Scrooge meanwhile is still rattled by Dewey’s statment, wondering if he really is a “used to be” instead of a “never left”. The fire is starting to spark again.. he just needs more kindling. And more kin. 
Meanwhile Louie and Huey marvel at Dewey’s “Brilliant’ breakout plan: hit the door knob with the sack of marbles til lit breaks. To be fair, they’ve known dewey as long as they’ve been alive and even by season 3 after he’s taken several levels in badass and cunning.. he still crashed a plane because his brother well-meaningly called him basic, and thought being nearly sacrificed the most times was an accomplishment. This is the best he could do and you all know it. It also works, so they can’t fault him for that... though he’s quickly kidnapped as are they. They wake up after the commerical break in a room with pure darkness, hung from the celing with a mystery person asking who they are and who they work for before Louie calls out for “uncle scrooge”... so she claps the lights back on and..
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Well close. But it is Webby, who cuts them down, fangirls over meeting the nephews and asks who the evil triplet is. They all point to Louie who shrugs it off. I mean it was funny enough the first time but at this point I know he’s running several fradulent charites, almost all scamming his uncle. He’s earned that title. Webby puts them on the big board and then when asked they find out she’s Webby, her granny Beakly is housekeeper.  She then asks the big questons “Are we friends now?” “If we say yes will you let us live?” “Ha good one new best friend”
She then explains she dosen’t get to leave or anything even eat a hamburger. The boys are moved by this and Louie asks what she does for fun. She leads them to the vents and while Huey and Louie are a bit relcutant, Dewey naturally goes first pointing out it’s better than the marble room. They agree and are on their way. 
Okay unpinning that pin, the crew conciously updated Webby and Beakly as neither really had a lot of purpose in the original. It was also to conciously add more actiony females to the main family lineup, as both creators, both being fathers, preferred someone their daughters could look up to and would enjoy watching. Not someone perfect but someone intresting instead of someone who often got Kidnapped and whose main charactrisitcs were “Sweet and GIRL STEROTYPE” So cleverly they KEPT her being girly, having a skirt, liking ponies. .but also gave her all the training and skill of one Cassandra Cain, a sheltered background and an adorable personality that kept the sweetness but added her probably having killed a man at some point. It worked as Webby is one of the best parts of the show. 
Likewise Beakly was upgraded from fuddy duddy housekeeper, to badass former secret agent whose also a housekeeper, and bodyguard and confidant to scrooge. Demonstrated by her talk with him as he tries to put on his diving suit and go after the jewel of atlantis, having spotted the signs to go after it in the paper.. and wanting to prove a child wrong. Beakly points out the flaws in this, and tries to get him to connect to his family. Having lost hers, it’s easy to see why.. though the how’s a mystery.. for now i’m guess. We’ll see in the finale. But she’s Scrooge’s concisence and the one who can easiest reign him in, to the point two episodes directly have our heroes have to NOT call her or else the plot was end, but have that worked into the plot so it works. She’s the calm in his storm and hte one person he needs more than anyone else even if he dosen’t always realize it. He calls family “nothing but trouble” just as Dewey passes overhead. 
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So naturally as Webby shows off Scrooge’s old treasures in a mysterious room, while the other Siblings are rightfully impressed, Dewey dismisses it as “fake” because he’s being a little shit, and they agree after seeing Donald, not knowing his reputation. The cutaway to him struggling with a stapler does not help> it’s only when Webby accidnetly uneleashes Captain Peghook, a vengeful ghost after scrooge, who gets his hand on a ghostly sword do they realize this time the monsters are real. Huey also accidently wakes up Manny, the headless manhorse! 
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Things somehow get WORSE as Scrooge finds them.. but is in no state to argue and as our heroes duck and Huey tries to divise a plan.. Scrooge get’s his spark back once agian.. it’s starting to become an ember now... and he charges in despite Dewey’s cries of “No come back your old!”. It then gets VERY badass Scrooge: Oi! Beastie! What's it gonna take to shuffle you off to the afterlife? Captain Peg-Hook: The head of Scrooge McDuck! Scrooge: [cracks his neck, flips his cane around to wield like a sword] Would you settle for his hat?
Now that is how you show how badass Scrooge is in a few lines and gestures. HE proceeds to take both out, as they’ve now teamed up, easily, tricking peghook into cutting off the head of a statue of him in the area, throwinng it at him and finsihing the ghosts buisnesss (”I should’ve been more specifiiiicccccc”) and then giving Manny the head, earning him a loyal employee for life. So our days saved, the kids have faith.. and Scrooge is still pissed. He also reveals this isn’t a treasure room but the garage in what’s easily the best gag of the first half, possibly the whole special but one iconic moment is very close in that one. Webby concedes what about the stack of old magazines or the hose or.. okay he’s probably right. He berates them only for the kids to fire back, pointing out he threw them in a room, they just wanted to spend time with him... but it’s only Dewey throwing his words back in his face that pisses him off. Scrooge bellows at them to get out, clearly having internalized everything with donald into rage and trying to justify pushing eveyrone away instead of working at it... but this dosen’t have time to actually work, nor would Beakly actually throw three children out on the curb, as he hits a mystic gong.. the third time it’s been hit. And after realizing it’s already been hit twice Scrooge is faced with Pixu, the gold hutning dragon! And guess who has a giant bin of it wanting to snack on? Scrooge naturally climbs on the thing and the kids naturally want to follow, with Webby getting her first development by proudly announcing “I’m going to eat a hamburger” then explains the metaphor. They just need a pilto.. and as Launchpad has been saying but I forgot to add in “I’m a pilot”
So we get a GORGEOUS bit of Scrooge riding the dragon over the city, getting banged up as he does before finally being thrown off.. only for the kids to catch him with the planes help and try and come up with a plan. Scrooge overcomes his anger at them not staying put, especailly since Webby brings up the right weakness: as a wise man once said...
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So they need some.. like say the Medusa Gauntlet Scrooge had in the garage.. that Louie naturally stole. Huey and Webby eyeroll him but they have what they need.. and Huey brought the hose and quickly comes up with a plan, tying scrooge in, and swinging him to Pixu. The kids hold on tight, Dewey calls his family awesome and our heroes win the day as Scrooge turns the dragon to stone, slips and falls.. and then GRACEFULLY dives into hte bin, showing off his diving skills and his badassery. The day is saved, the gauntlet and the dragon go in the bin for safe keeping and Scrooge calls the kids trouble.. and chuckles fondly. “Curse me kilts how i’ve missed trouble”
He’s impressed: Huey’s quick thinking, Louie’s pickpocketing, Dewey’s drive, and Webby’s magical knowledge all saved them. For once. .he’s happy again. And for the second time in life it took his family to remind him why he does this and show him the true fun of adventure: Getting to share it with those he love. And he finally has people to love again. He has family back, kids who look up to him and want to learn from him again, a REASON to adventure. Money and treasure and eveyrthig couldn’t bring della back.. but he at least sees now that whiel they certianly couldn’t.. they can bring him closely with what he has left. She’s gone, for now.. but she left behind three great kids who could use a mentor and Beakly brought him a fourth. And he just found out he has a pilot. The ember.. is now a raging flame. Scrooge is back. Because i’ts not the money or the glory.. it’s the thrill of it, the discovery.. and the family that makes adventuring worth while and he’s learned that lesson again. So he calls Beakly to clear his schedule.. forgetting she you know PUT A FUCKING PIN INTHE WALL the last time he asked her to play scretary and the onlyr eason she dind’t drive over the choke him to death, is that she’s probably happy he’s back on track.
Back at the interview Donald is stapled to the wall and gets the job.. not as an accountant mind but his employer needs a sailor.. and his employer is FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD. Oh boy. 
Part 2: Escape To/From Atlantis First the last bit of background I saved: Originally, Fenton and Gyro were supposed to show up here, starting a gag of Fenton showing up but not being named until “Beware the B.U.D.D.Y. System!”, setting up the sub. But the crew decided this took too much away from the focus on the duck family. The not naming him gag was also dropped, and I have two reasons why: Their given reason, which is it’d take up too much time and a logistical reason: While they gave a heartfelt pitch to Lin-Manuel Miranda, as frank wanted a strong Latino superhero to combat the lack of them on film, Frank and Matt probably thought they woudln’t get such a huge name or at least prepared for it.. and were delightfully suprised when Lin happily and tearfully agreed. So they likely scrapped it so they could properly promote the biggest name in their voice cast. Honestly it was for the best and they still go to do the idea with Drake in “The Duck Knight Returns!”, where it worked much better than it probably would have with Fenton. 
We open with the Glomgold Industries Employee Training Video! Encourging IP Theft, making things cheaper and general scumbaggery, and claming your the world’s most beloved scottish billionare. IN short the perfect introduction to everyone’s favorite insane, fake-scottish, scheming, egotistical , short sighted billionaire. As i’ve made transparent before, I fucking love the reboot version of Glomgold and he’s easily one of my favorite parts of the reboot. They clearly needded to find a new place for Glomgold in the grand scheme of things as the show was more about globetrotting adventure and family and less about getting contracts or bets about whose bigger money and more about family. While they DID do a classic bet storyline with season 2, it’s clear the old glomgold was just a bit too stiff to properly fit into this new zanier and deeper universe. 
So they instead remolded him as a half insane, knockoff scrooge, someone who PURPOSFULLY modeled himself after the guy to try and one up him, and instead of being a fairly low pitched schemer, was a bombastic idiot whose schemes were half baked, whose name was on everything he made, and whose only thing bigger than scrooge was his glorious ego. In short he was perfect for this series and perfect to show up way more often as a bumbling thorn in Scrooge’s side.. but one who COULD be effective in the right circumstances, as to not make him completely pointless. Keith was likewise the only person I could see in the roll now as with Hater he had a history of playing bombastic, egosticial morons, and made Glomgold into the enjoyable ball of ego, bombs, sharks and shouting we know and love. Some people didn’t take to this version after a while... I’m not one of those. I loved him here, I love him now, and he’s every bit as good in season 3 as he was at the start. He’s also wearing a kilt mcduck A KILT. A bit that’st STILL funny four years and 70 some episodes later. 
So we meet Gabby McStabberson and the Smashnikovs as they and Donald file in, though Donald is busy wrapping up a call with Scrooge, who assures them he has a low key day planned.. while in the sub getting ready to go to atlantis. And nearly drowning when Dewey tells Launchpad to dive while he and Scrooge are still up top. Cue credits. 
So on the sub we get our setup for the two main plots for the episode: While the main thrust of everything is Scrooge taking them to Atlantis, each leads to a diffrent plot. Louie talks to Donald and lies entirely about their day, worrying Webby.. who then reveals she just didn’t tell Beakly she took off or where she was going and encourages her to call and lie. To save time, i’m going to cover this subplot now minus the conclusion as it’s pretty simple and this review is already a day behind. Louie wants her to lie so she dosen’t worry, which is oddly sweet.. still a bit greasy, but it’s clear he means well and it shows in his own way the boy cares about Donald: Sure he’ll lie to the guy, and set up a fradulent charity to scam him.. but he also knows not to worry his dad-uncle and kows Donald is better off thinking their safe than knowing the truth. Granted it also prevents consequences for Louie.. but he’s not playing here here. He gets nothing out of Beakly not knowing the truth or helping some girl he just met, he’s just being NICE in his own twisty way. It’s a nice show of his depths: While louie will lie, cheat and steal Eddie Gurrero style, he does have a caring side underneath hit. He can read people well and while he primarily uses it to manipulate people, we’ll see time and time again that he can use it for good too and to help those he cares about. He’s nothing but supportive the whole plot, and even when he says “you can’t back that up” it’s more worrying about her and having a bit of crack than actually being a dick. 
So Webby tries lying, but is about as good as Huey is at it, saying “I’m at a friends house nothing, then makes up a clearly fake name, then says their only talking in swedish for a grandpa. Launchpad DOES help, but only by accident and snake venom. We’ll get to that. As I said this wasn’t the most complex plot. 
The main plot is our focus episode for dewey. In theory each of the kids was supposed to have one in the first five episodes: Dewey here, Webby in Daytrip of Doom, Louie in Great Dime Chase and Huey in Impossible Summit of Mt. Nevverest!. Given the last one was horribly delayed, he instead got Terror of the Terra Firmians, which in hindsight wasn’t the best spotlight episode for him. But it’s a good system; Introduce them all in the first half of the pilot then slowly focus on each one.  So now Idoloizing Scrooge, Dewey is desperate to be his sidekick and be seen as an equal and is in deep denial as scrooge instead has them all buckle up for a 17 hour ride and when Dewey questions the route, which skips the direct path.. but is clearly marked with monsters, Scrooge just snaps at him and shuts him down and disapoints the boy who only wants to prove himself to Scrooge. 
Naturally though, telling someone with that kind of need for attention and validation to wait goes poorly as he redirects the map while Launchapd is distracted.. and we find out WHY the trip is 17 hours as the direct route nearly gets them killed by mer-ducks, krakens and some sort of storm elemental. Dewey is bummed it didn’t work and annoyed to realize he’s just lumping them all together like Huey pointed out earlier. Huey is also delightful here, having brought travel bingo and sea shanties, clearly used to trips with his other uncle. And adorably taking after him. 
But Dewey’s deversion has done more than make him even MORE determined to prove himself to Scrooge whose just trying to NOT loose the son of the daughter he lost...
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The Merducks have taken up residence in the bathroom, so they have to make a pitstop. Scrooge, CLEARLY forgetting how to take a trip with children, wasn’t prepared for this but they find a frieghter and make a stop. Naturally it’s GLOMGOLD’S freighter, where his sub took off from, and he and his minons including Donald find Scrooge using the bathroom.. and the boys to Donald’s rage. Unfortunately saying ‘I’ll kill him” to a raging sociopath who takes that as a sign to kill ALL of them, isn’t a smart move. 
So while Donald tries to plan to keep his family alive, said family arrives in Atlantis with a great bit of Scrooge trying to give a big speech only for them to see it first and ooh and ah. They touch down in the city.. which is flip turned upside down. Scrooge notes hti is odd but is able to read the hieroglypchs even upside downa nd notes there’s tones of deadly traps and that they shoudl stay back and..
Huey: Dewey ran in as soon as you said traps. 
So while Scrooge tries to prevent dewey loosing his head, Donald prevents launchpad loosing his and makes up an excuse about “if their dead now we can’t tourture them later” to cover his ass. Glomgold is impressed.  Dewey is Dewcipointed that the traps are upside down, though he does trigger some snakes that get launchpad. He’s fine just delirious. And possibly slowly dying but the fact he’s lived this long is a miracle. Maybe that’s why he’s missing for most of season 3 part 2, the snake venom caught up to him and drake and fenton need to find the cure. Anyways the rest of the party stays behind while Scrooge chases after Dewey, who naturally runs ahead AGAIN. 
Donald ducks out to use the bathroom, as Dewey tries the old dance through the laser grid routine.. but forgets the part where your supposed to actually avoid it, leaving it to an unseen Donald to stop the fire traps from barbqueing his boy. IT’s a really awesome sequence that shows off Donald’s still got it even if he dosen’t want it.  Scrooge naturally works smarter not harder and simply ziplines above like a badass and berates Dewey when he tells him he took “The easy way”
“Why would you want to take the hard way?” The argument that’s been brewing all episode bubbles up and once again both sides have a point: Scrooge rightfully points out Dewey’s being reckless, has no experince and needs to listen to Scrooge and learn something. Dewey claps back that Scrooge isn’t TEACHING them, just teling them to get behind him while he does things instead of trying to actively mentor them. He outright told them he was going to teach them so while Dewey’s been a wee bit overbearing, he’s right in being disappointed that Scrooge instead just wants them to be safe. I see it as his subconscious acting up: He wants and needs the kids along and is right ot keep them safe.. but is too scared to properly mentor them after what happened to Della and is just trying not to loose anybody. His methods have been right, to keep them safe.. he’s just been so determined to save them, he can’t properly TEACH them so he won’t have to forever or explain WHY. And given the First Adventure shows that while protective he did eventually let Della and Donald pull their weight.. but here he lost so much between adventures.. he just can’e bear loosing them. Dewey also rightfully points out he just lumps them together which in any other version wouldn’t be an issue, until the reboot I had no idea which one was which here? They have distinct outfits and personalities and you had 17 hours to actually get to know them. Probably less given the shortcut but still, several hours at a minimum. It’s things like this that make the series work: while there’s plenty of internal conflicts, at their best their nuanced ones, where if one character is clearly in the wrong they have a reason, and if both are right both are also a bit wrong, versus the original where it’d be scrooge or the boys grabbing the asshole ball at times (Not always mind you but when they did it was insufferable. 
However they don’t have time to argue as the bridge goes out and Glomgold finds donald.. and another way around as a result and gets to the treasure first. Scrooge notices they have donald but once again Dewey charges in 
“Unhand my uncle” “No” “Okay wasn’t prepared for that”
Naturally both sides are a bit livid, Donald for dragging his boys into danger after being part of the reason his sister is on the moon right now, and Scrooge for working with one of his greatest eneimies.. though Scrooge has less ground to stand on because as Donald points out “I can’t keep track of ALL of your sworn enemies” I mean he has lived like .. 200 years. That’s a long enemies list and Glomgold, while the most persistent, isn’t exactly the most dangerous they probably encountered. Given the guy’s an artist with Bombs and Sharks that does say a lot about how badass Scrooge is.. and how incompitent glomgold usually is. He’s just having an on day today I guess. 
Glomgold naturally holds Donald hostage, takes what is suppsidley the jewel and leaves them to drown to death, hitting a wall to let it start leaking. HIs minons run into the rest of the heroes and a fight breaks out while naturally Donald, after even more naturally getting his ass stuck in a hole, literally, rails out at Scrooge for doing this telling him “I knew I couldn’t trust you and” “This is the spear of selene all over again”
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Scrooge’s only response is “I was not responsible for the Spear of Selene!”
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Dude you still paid for the rocket. While Della shoulders most of the blame, SHE choose to take an untested rocket, SHE choose not to come back during the turbulence YOU still built it and hid it from donald and didn’t make sure she couldn’t just take off in it. Your both to blame. And as I mentioned earlier to the least extent but still an extent, so was Donald telling his grown, adult sister whose as stubborn as she is what she could and couldn’t do. He had the right idea and was the only person trying to be an adult here in this situation.. but he still took the wrong approach with stopping her. Still he got far more ground to stand on than Scrooge, who also took his nephews out. Dewey stops both by pointing out that while yes Scrooge took them on an adventure he’s been doing NTOHING but keeping him safe and most of it was his fault which disarms donald a bit. Though Dewey is quickly distracted.. but for once by an obersvation: the gem glowing above thaem that glowed when they entered... and since the city got flipped turned upside down.. THAT’S the real jewel. Dewey asks Donald ot let it flood so they can get it and begs his uncle to trust him despite his doubts which he does. They get it and everyone’s okay and even more when they reunite with the others they find they’ve handily beaten them. To me this is where donalds walls go down a bit: he realizes he’s been smothering the kids, and that while he may hate his uncle for good reason... he’s not going to make the same mistake with them and while he lied.. Don probably realized if Scrooge had been honest Donald would never have let them go. He can trust him.. and he can trust his kids will be alright without him. 
So Glomgold naturally leaves his minions to die, but our heroes manage to make it to the sub, and Gabby asks if they can bum a ride. Not wanting to do any murders they agree. On the surface Glomgold is showing off his jewel, only for Scrooge to upstage him second’s later with the real jewel, and point out his is “nice but defintly cursed”... and right on cue Glomgold gets dragged off with an octopus and let’s off his first “Curse you mcduck!”. Scrooge offers clean water and power thorugh it, for a price because of course he does, and has offically made his grand comeback. 
We get back to Webby’s subplot, as she’s confronted by Beakly.. who naturally being a former spy easily figured it out immieditely but is only upset her grandaughter lied to her. And even at that she dosen’t raise her voice or anything about the matter, knowing it’d only make her feel worse and getting that her grandaughter needs to see the world and that much like donald, she walled her up to prevent loosing what little she had left. And since being with Scrooge is safe as with her, she can go with him anytime just tell her first kay? They hug. Awwww. 
Donald likewise apologizes, admitting that whatever has passed, he misjudged his uncle here and while not forgiving him yet, is at least willing to let him back into his life and into the boys.. on holidays and stuff at least. But fate forces his hand.. or rather his 10 year old nephew-son having left the engine on and neither having turned it off, meaning his boat goes boom and is in no liveable condition. But Scrooge has the space in his heart and mansion for them.
So as we close the kids help move the artifacts all around the house instead of just the garage while Launchapd drops the boat. While clearing out Dewey notices the painting from earlier.. and finds part of it was flipped over...
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“Mom?!” 
Now keep in mind, while nowadays Della’s inclusion in the show is one of the most famous and treasured parts of the show.. back then this was a fucking shock. Disney never really cared about the boys mother and outside of one comics story never really went into what happened. So the fact she was not only an actual important part of the plot but we’d find out was a HUGE wham moment and left my jaw dropped after seeing the episode. Like I would with the finales I had read no spoilers and had no idea this was coming but damn was it a huge and welcome suprise and how far they’d take it and how much they’d flesh her out was an even bigger one. Easily one of the best big reveals i’ve ever seen. The only better one I can think of from this series itself... is the end of season 2. But that’s for another time. 
Final Thoughts on Woo-Ooo!:
This two parter/hour long special.. is still one of the episodes best and easily one of the best pilots. It does slow down a bit in pacing in the second half, but otherwise is just an immaculate , beautiful pilot movie that introduces and fleshes out all 8 main characters, maybe Launchpad the least but enough to still work, gives us some big mysteries to work out, and even throws in Glomgold’s first apperance. It sets the tone, reverent and adventuerous but also with it’s own weird and wacky sense of humor and world building, and universe perfectly. I .. don’t have much else to say really it’s just THAT good and really worth checking out. If you somehow haven’t seen it go watch it and if you haven’t seen it in a while might be worth a rewatch before the finale. The absolutely perfect start to an amazing ride. 
Next on the Della Arc: Dewey and Webby try to figure out where Della is while Louie learns a valuable life lesson and  pisses off a killer robot along the way.
Next on the Blog: Amphibia Season 2 is back! 
Until then if you liked this review follow for more and if you could please support me on patreon. Even a buck a month helps and juicy stretch goals give you na incentive to contirbute. We’re 5 bucks away from 20 dollars a month which means a review of super ducktales and a Darkwing Duck review EVERY. MONTH. So contribute now! Until the next rainbow it’s been a pleasure. 
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faecaptainofdreams · 4 years ago
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(Everyone is sitting together. It doesn't really matter where, but they're all outside and having a great time. Lance, Walter, Marcy, Killian, Eyes, Ears, August, Ramsey, Sky, Felix, Gwynn, Jack, and Hiro. Other friends, such as Joy and Tonya [the security lady], aren't too far away. Lovey, Jeff and Crazy Eyes are present as well, calmly strutting around, being petted by various members of the group.) Walter: I remember when I was six, I went to my mom's room and was watching her put on her makeup for the day. She was kinda used to that, since I followed her everywhere. Well, I told her I liked her makeup, and that she was really good at putting it on. So then I'm like "Hey, what's it like to wear makeup?" And she goes, "I don't know, I'm used to it." And she looked at me, because I think she knew that I was building up to asking if I could wear some. I told her I just wanted to wear what she was wearing, just to know. She had to think about that for a minute, hah! Marcy: This feels like a really important part of your flamboyant origin story. (Everyone laughs, Walter included.) Walter: YES, definitely! So like, she was a little thrown, I think? But then she was like "Yeah, sure, okay, you can try on my makeup," and she had me sit in her little chair in front of the mirror. She was telling me that it was gonna feel funny, that I needed to be still so she wouldn't accidentally poke my eye, all that good stuff. My mom was SUPER attentive whenever she tried new things with me, because of the Asperger's. We really didn't know what could trigger that potential sensory overload or what I might be overwhelmed by, so I think she was more nervous about that than anything. Well... Before she started, I asked her if wearing makeup would make me less of a boy. I said, "Only girls wear makeup, and when boys like girly things, they get made fun of." I was really aware of that. I always SO BADLY wanted to take my Unitee to school, as a comfort object, but I was scared to death of the other kids taking her from me and tearing her up or something. So -- anyway, mom goes, "No, some boys wear makeup," and she said, "Did you know that men wear makeup in other parts of the world?" And she told me about the Egyptians, ancient peoples and how makeup was originally for everybody, all that cool stuff. SHE info-dumped on ME! (They all laugh a little.) Walter: It was just really striking to me how...progressive she was, like there was nothing I could do that she didn't support. I told her I didn't think I wanted to wear makeup all the time, and she said "Good, you're too young for it anyway." (More laughs.) Walter: So I sat there, and she started putting the makeup on me. She put on my eye shadow, then eye liner, then mascara... It was exhausting! How do people wear it ALL THE TIME? (They all nod and chuckle and Marcy raises her hand, drawing attention to herself.) Marcy: It's the way of the woman, Walter. Killian: And the very flamboyant, but no-less-masculine man. Ramsey: I tried on makeup once. Turned my rat face into a rat face with paint on it. (All laughter.) Sky: Hah, okay babe, so what happened next? Walter: *giggles softly* Well, then she put a little blush on just for the fun of it, and then put lipstick on me. We both kept laughing, I think she was laughing at me because I kept pursing my lips out SUPER hard! She was like "Just relax a little!" And I would, and then I would purse really hard again! (Laughs.) Gwynn: That's so cute, hah hah. Walter: We had this really long talk about how boys are not boys because they don't wear makeup, and girls aren't girls because some of them do wear makeup. Same with pants, and dresses. She said that if I am a boy, then that's what I am no matter what I have on. I was like... "If?" (Lots of concerned chuckles and a few laughs roll through the group.) Lance: OH shit, she probably didn't count on that one. Walter: NO, NOT AT ALL. I mean, it wasn't that long ago, but honestly transgender, non-binary and all the LGBT stuff has REALLY just been gaining traction in the past few years. Like I said, she was REALLY progressive. Felix: Did she have to explain that? Walter: *nods* A little. She kept it simple, she was like "Well, sometimes little boys feel like they aren't actually boys, and they feel like they're girls, so they choose to be girls and that's who they really are." I asked her how that's possible, because I have to over-analyze everything, pfft. She said she couldn't really explain it, that it was fine that I didn't understand, that she could tell me later. Yeah -- whenever she couldn't explain a hard topic to me, she was always really good about saying it was okay that I didn't understand it. Living in a world where you're expected to just GET everything, whether it's a hard or an easy concept, that was always nice. Hiro: *nods* Jack: Everyone should be told that, you've got a point there. Sky: I could not STAND when teachers were like "Oh ThiS iS eAsY, eVeRyOnE eLsE gEtS iT" LIKE BITCH, SHUT UP. *claps between words* I'M- NOT- THEM. Lance: RIGHT THOUGH?!
Ears: Rude.
Walter: Exactly! Everyone is different. Not even from an Autistic standpoint, just a HUMAN CHILD standpoint, my mom was really good with helping me be okay with my environment. August: Do you think if you were neurotypical, she would've been just as good, or like, less good or not as...paying attention? Walter: *thinks for a moment* Mmm... I mean, she was really good with me before I was even diagnosed, she was really patient and tried to roll with the fact that I was somehow very different from my peers. But no, I think she probably would've been about the same. Maybe less careful, or less afraid of setting me off somehow, but she DEFINITELY wouldn't have loved me less or had been any less kind. She was just...a great mother, plain and simple. (Gwynn reaches across the table and gently takes his hand, silently offering a bit of love. Walter smiles sadly to her.) Lance: So, what happened with the makeup? Walter: *sits up and takes in a deep breath* I told her it felt weird, aaand she said that was normal... *smiles softly* She told me I was pretty... I asked if I could show grana, so we went and found her in the living room and showed her. Ramsey: Oooh, was granny as progressive as mom? Walter: OH yeah, she was definitely where my mom got it from. She loved it! Marcy: *shaking her head slowly in awe* That is so rare, like WOW. Walter: Mm-hm. Yeah, I actually came out to grana when I was 14. I said, "I think I'm gay," and she looked me dead in the eye and said, "Oh, I knew that!" (They all laugh.) Walter: I was like, "Whaaat??" She told me that her and mom figured that out when I was two. Lance: ...What the hell was you doin' when you were TWO to give that away??? (They all chuckle.) Walter: HAH hah! I asked her that, and she said that my mom was just watching me play. I wasn't doing anything special, I -- she just said "I think my son is gay." And apparently, grana felt the same way? It turns out, big shocker, I am not mysterious. Hahahah! Felix: No, no you are NOT. Gwynn: Your family was really cool, Walter. Walter: Yeah... They were... (He nods his head slowly, eyes becoming a little wet. But he smiles, warm memories, love, and a little sadness filling his heart.) Walter: And now I have this cool family, so... I'm really really l-ucky-- (He wipes his eyes, trying not to cry.) Walter: Nnnaaahhh!! I don't wanna cry, aha hah...! Marcy: *chuckles* It's okay. Walter: Gah, I know. I cry enough though, I can go TEN MINUTES without! (They all chuckle, but there is an expression of care for him in everyone.) Walter: So that's the makeup story. *sniffles and wipes his eye one more time* I ended up not wearing it again after that, until the -- *motions to Jack* the mission! Jack: That was some fun, eh? Heheh! Really, Walter, you did make for a lovely lady! Walter: *laughs* Well thank you!! Hiro: I think it's nuts when people can tell their kids are gay. Killian: Yeh, some people honestly just feel that. I've heard about pregnant women being able to feel their unborn child is a certain way, and then years later they figure out they're right. Mind-boggling. Walter: There really is nothing harder to explain than a mother's instinct! Lance: Yeah, then there's MY mom. When I was like fifteen, my mom caught me dancin' in my room to this really fruity song and some dumbass chick flick was on the TV, and... (Everyone starts laughing.) Lance: *waves it off* So she busts in my room and is like *mocking voice* "Lance, you wanna tell me somethin'? Are you gay?" and I got all defensive and was like "NO MOM" in this really squeaky voice. (The laughter continues, and Lance along with them.) Lance: I knew what bein' gay was, and I knew how people made fun of it -- I made fun of it back then, everyone used it as an insult, there was all this misinformation about it flying around. My mom wasn't even being accusatory, she wasn't like MAD about it or anything, but from then on, ALL the time, if I did somethin' kinda questionable she was like "YoU gAy?!" So I'd try to make my voice deeper, like *makes voice deeper* "NO, MAMA. I LIKE GIRLS." (Laughter) Eyes: Did she try to get you for overcompensating? Lance: *claps and points at her* YES, I was just about to say! So I started gettin' pissed off about the gay thing, right? Well, my mom didn't know that I was listenin' to Afro Man back then. Hiro: What is that? Lance: Look him up, he's hilarious! Best song, Colt 45, hands down.
Ears: It's pretty funny, gotta admit. August: THAT SONG. IS SO. GROSS. Walter: When I was in middle school I heard some of the other kids singing it, I was sooo confused! August: Weren't you like FOUR in middle school? Walter: HAH HAH no, I was seven! August: PFFFT, OKAY, well that's still awful. Walter: *nods* Lance: My mom asked me if I was gay for the last damn time before I brought out my little laptop and started BLASTIN' Colt 45. Marcy: What even is that song?? Lance: It's literally just a rap song about the Afro Man having sex with dozens of women and being real vulgar about it, but not like your normal rap song. August: It's kind of like a parody, but it's not? Marcy: *sits back* Ew. Lance: Heh heh heh, yeah, when she heard that she went OFF on me. She was like "WHERE'D YOU FIND NASTY TRASH LIKE THAT YOU DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW" and started whippin' at my ass with the hand towel! (Laughter) Lance: I was running away cryin', screaming "I WAS JUST TRYIN'A TELL YOU I'M NOT GAY" and she goes "THAT'S WHAT OVERCOMPENSATIN' LOOKS LIKE!" (Their laughter is loud, boisterous, and unapologetic.) Ramsey: You get in trouble?! Lance: BIG TIME. Actually -- HA -- yeah, that's how I got into the military, she said "fuck this child and his stupid gay ass, he's gonna be a marine," stuck me on a plane and shipped me off. (The laughter is settling, but still genuine.) Lance: Nah nah I'm jokin', that's a joke. But yeah, I wasn't allowed on the internet for like three months after that. Walter: Hmhmhm! Did she finally stop asking? Lance: Yeah, yeah finally. I think that was the last straw. Marcy: Hey, where was your dad during all this? Lance: Oh god, you know him, he just kinda...stayed out of it, heh. He's definitely the more submissive one. But that's all right, mama's good to him. Killian: I personally adore your mother. Lance: Yeah, 'cos she showed you my baby pictures. Killian: You had the fattest fuckin' face on any infant I've ever seen. Lance: Whatever! You probably weighed like 18 pounds when you came out, you tank! (Walter unintentionally leads into the group laughing fit with a heavy "PFFT!") Killian: *laughing* I was thin as a rail 'til i was 17! Lance: Nah, you was what took down the Hindenburg, 100%. Killian: Bitch your face WAS the Hindenburg! Those CHEEKS! (The laughter only gets harder. The stories go on, the happiness rolls on forever. Eventually, Joy and Tonya join the group. This really is Walter's family, and it's perfect.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ It's a little cheesy, but we could use some of that right now. I had this idea of Walter and Wendy a couple months ago, but never once even spoke of it. I thought i would do art for it sooner, but here we are -- better late than never. I'm glad it took until now, because i wouldn't have shaded it then. Been feeling sentimental lately, and SiD is a huge part of my heart now. This was actually done on the last page of the first sketchpad i used for SiD! Apparently, i abandoned the drawing pad with ONE PAGE LEFT >8U SO DUMB. So with me being emotional, feeling a need for closure and wanting to add one more thing to the book, i decided this was the perfect subject matter. I don't know when i'll draw for this movie again since Marvel has swept me away, but I think i'll always be paying attention to it. I think this is one of those things that just will forever mean the world to me.
<3
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wee-guy · 5 years ago
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                                 Why did you climb the mountain?
A rant sketch inspired by @insertdisc5​ post that I just reblogged. I haven’t been feeling great tonight and it’s always sat with me that these children climbed a big ass mountain without adult supervision. Especially Frisk. 
Below the cut is some headcannons for a kinda mental health AU? Idk, it was therapeutic to write.
It makes me think of a sort of AU were MC/reader purposefully goes to the mountain because of the rumours and obviously isn’t successful but meets a bunch of monsters who know why they came to the mountain and want to help.
Classic Sans: knows what it’s like to feel hopeless, to not want to get out of bed, how some things become so difficult to achieve. Knows what it’s like to have to hide how you feel, be happy and funny to make sure others don’t worry. If you need to do the thing, he will do the thing with you being “helpful” with his puns. He’s always there with soft encouragement and always praises the small things. Will probably make you those star stickers, “you got out of bed!” “you brushed your teeth!” “you managed social interaction!” “you didn’t cry today!”. Is interested in what you want to do in education and/or work. Will help you plan and work towards whatever that is. He knows some folk. 
Classic Papyrus: obviously is your personal cheer squad. Knows just how to motivate you but if it isn’t working and it’s a bad day knows when to calm down and let you take things at your own pace. Tell him your deepest desires, your biggest dreams, no matter how unattainable or silly it seems. You want to be an astronaut? You need to be physically healthy, go to school to get good grades and do training to achieve that? Pffft, that’s only three things, you can totally do that! Teaches you how to hold onto a dream and keep back the bad thoughts that say you can’t do it. You’ll show them! Will cook and bake with you while making some idle chatter. Afterwards will sit with you and watch MTT or something you’re currently interested in cuddled under a blanket.
Fell Sans (Red): the worst kept secret is that he is a softie. Will chill out with you and give you as much physical touch as you’re comfortable with. Little thumb strokes, hair strokes, hip bumps, squeezes and full on “you are now my personal squish, now chill out and watch the tv show”. Is your protector, there behind you to make sure no one walks over you or just there as silent encouragement when you need to do scary adult things. Knows what it’s like to have manic lows were the sadness is energetic and wants out. Knows how hard it is to stay strong when you need to be supported. Is there for you when this happens, even if he just silently holds you.
Fell Papyrus (Edge): you are the only one he is soft and gentle to. You know what that means? You are worthy of the terrible Papyrus! These other humans are merely jealous of your brilliance! Actual fashion icon who encourages you to express yourself however you want. Cut or dye your hair? Edge is there critiquing cuts and colours and of course approving of your choices. Your style is very much worthy of the terrible Papyrus’s approval. Humans are staring? Yes, how could they not? You look amazing! And the commoners are weak to resisting such style! Will absolutely call you by your preferred pronouns or name without question, although all skeles will do so too. Teaches you to be comfortable with yourself and that you are worth your own existence. 
Swap Sans (Blue): Another very energetic cheer squad! Preaches the importance of routine and activities. Won’t push you with exercise if you aren’t into that, gentle jogs or walks or swimming, anything calming and enjoyable. After all, what’s the point if you don’t enjoy it! Will help you figure out what the best times are you to do things, are you an early bird or a night owl? When do you get hungry? Do you have medication? When do you need to take them? He makes a very cool schedule with reminders on your phone so you don’t forget. Is very interested in your hyperfixations and is eager to learn all about it! Info dump your little heart out! Blue won’t judge and is 9/10 more likely to want to become involved too! He secretly knows what it’s like to not be respected for being yourself, whether that be for the things you love or how you look. He’s very well aware of what other monsters see him as. But! He will show you how the magnificent Sans achieves what he wants, does what he wants all the while being true to himself!
Swap Papyrus (Stretch): Another chill boy. He’s always there for you if you need to chill, talk or be distracted. No, literally. He always seems to be close to you wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, without actually moving at all...Is not at all a therapist but will listen to you when you need to talk or vent or explain something you love or have just learned. Will go with you to any doctors appointments or therapy sessions and be there for you, slouched down in his chair. Pull up a beanbag, pal, tell him all about it. Very good at distracting you with music or games or some sweet treats. A rock of a skeleton boy. Knows what it’s like to be so overwhelmed by your feelings being trapped inside you that you loose interest in things and become numb. Will show you coping mechanisms he learned himself and will always never let you forget that he is always there for you.
SwapFell Sans (Blackberry): This is a very smart boy. He clawed his way up to royal guard status without the usual violence, he doesn’t need to. Is an expert and obsessed with cheating the system and getting clever sneaky payback. Any trouble and he has it sorted, he’s both better and worse than a Karen. Will talk to a manager, teacher, professional and come out the victor. That person who bullied you? Strangely bolts whenever you are in their proximity ... Teaches you what you can do to help yourself in certain situations and how to come across confident in yourself even when you’re not. Somehow knows everything about everyone and is always doing things like reminding you that your medication is running low, you need to book another doctors appointment, even tells you that that thing you were eyeing up is much cheaper elsewhere and he’s already ordered it for you so don’t worry about it. His literal moto is “you don’t need to worry about it anymore, I’ll handle it.” But he knows when to slow down and teach you how to do things yourself. He is also a master at pet names. Darling? Sweetheart? Love? Baby? He’ll find out what you prefer and use it to his advantage, and you’ll love it. Knows how things can build and build and how sometimes the littlest thing can be the domino effect that makes everything crash. Shows you how to prioritise and take it one task at a time. 
Swapfell Papyrus (Russ): Just...a sweet boy. A little nasty, but sweet. Why do you sometimes have the urge to protect him and then suddenly feel submissive to his protection? Is a firm believer in therapy through action. You like art? He’s found this little group where you just be calm and do art and maybe talk about your feeling, lets both go. Is music your thing? Here, if you’re sad how about you press all the low keys at once? BOOOOOAAAAAMMMMM. Writing? Writing how you feel is very important to both understand yourself and how you’re feeling, to be able to reflect and point out things that triggered you and also be able to show a professional symptoms and explain how you feel without having to strain to remember. But you can also write for the pure enjoyment of words and the movement of your pen or the rhythmic click of your keyboard. Will help you with prompts and inspirations. Will never judge you for using a fandom or interest to help you get through this. Will definitely show you some of his own stuff. Knows how lonely you can feel even when surrounded by people, even when it doesn’t make sense to feel lonely or sad. Teaches you that it’s ok to feel these emotions but shows you when you need to stop in order not to become consumed by it. 
Horror Sans (Mars...?): Is deeply knowledgeable about trauma. He had a long road recovering from his. His trauma might make you feel stupid for your feelings but he will shut that down immediately. His broken leg doesn’t make your broken arm any less painful. Will be able to understand how you feel about your trauma and how that has affected you. He’s very careful to put down boundaries so neither of you trigger the other. He’s your mental health buddy, someone close who’s going through the same thing that you can talk to and know that you are fully understood. You can ask questions to help understand yourself and your own journey. Will show you how to focus and enjoy small things. Believes that people are either water people or earth people. Does the sound and sight of water make you calm? Just the rhythmic movement and sound drift you away while you both pick up cool looking rocks and smooth sea glass and sometimes even a shell! Or do you like big grassy parks or forests you can walk to your hearts content and just breathe? You both pick up some cool leaves to press between a book, take some pictures of plants and trees and sunsets. Whenever you need a break, whether you realise or not, he will whisk you away to just bask in silence for a while. A big cuddler, he has a blanket nest, hop on in and have a nap. 
Horror Papyrus (Sweetie): Knows deeply how hard it is to adapt sometimes, and how your adapting to situations can hurt you later. Knows what it’s like to be judged by how you look, especially if there are things you need to hide. Helps you with Edge’s quest, especially with clothes. He’s very good at finding unique objects that no one else has. Often comes back from thrift and charity shops with a few things he think’s you’ll like. Will cuddle up with you and listen to how you feel about yourself and the way you look. Helps you come to terms with yourself, accept yourself. Always has a compliment for you, building it up from small things so you can learn to believe and accept them. Knows ways to help you if you sometimes dissociate and especially if it’s triggered by photos or mirrors. If you need to go to the dentist or the doctor for operations or procedures, he’s right there with you holding your hand. He himself has some very cool braces for his teeth, some funky glasses and some support of his posture. Loves to teach you how to solve puzzles and will sit behind you and point out words he finds in the word searches. A very good bonding buddy. Also, he always has snacks, he is a snack mom. Sometimes he even slips food and water into your bag and pockets. 
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phoebenavarro · 5 years ago
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in honor of bmc closing here’s some notes I took on my phone after I saw the show in may and never actually got around to posting lol
under a cut cause long
Jeremy’s striped shirt is very reminiscent of Ness’s shirt in Earthbound (hc: Jeremy is a huge Mother fan, he loves Earthbound and he’s played fan translations of Mother 3) (he always wanted a group of friends like Ness has in Earthbound, people he could save the world with. He’s always had Michael of course, but he wanted to be part of a party like in an rpg) (and by the end of the show he does)
Love all the details behind Jeremy’s bed-- empty soda cans, the n64 and NES, and ROB
All the details in the set are great, like the posters at school and in the mall. There’s a poster for the GSA that says “Don’t fear queer”
Jeremy sounds like he’s about to cry as he says “I was just trying to get to my locker” when Rich is writing on his bag :(
“No, I always sweat this much” *furiously wipes forehead with sleeve*
“I get it, you’re a virgin!” the look of pure MORTIFICATION on Jeremy’s face
Christine touching Jeremy’s chest and he clutches his heart and looks like he’s about to have a heart attack (MOOD)
Christine stopping herself from info dumping at the beginning of ILPR but then seeing that Jeremy’s interested and the words spilling out of her is SUCH an ADHD mood
Jeremy mouthing “fuck, no” when Jake first is talking to Christine
Anthony Chatmon is a very cute Jake. He makes him very endearing. He’s very earnest but also a complete dumbass LMAO
When Rich’s Squip glitches and he’s laying on the ground, Jeremy just walks away lol
When Rich is singing about his penis in the Squip Song, Jeremy points at his crotch and is like “your....?”
The projections behind the Squip people are SO COOL (all the projections are super cool I love them)
“All I have to do is give the Guy Who tor........... ments me six. HUNDRED- yeah he’s scamming me”
I adore two player game!!!!!! The choreography and the projections are great and its a super creative way to make a song where the characters are doing something as visually boring as playing a video game interesting to watch
Michael when Jeremy and his dad are talking is really the epitome of “your friend and their parent are arguing in front of you and you don’t know what to do”
“I think I just blew my bar mitzvah money on a wintergreen tic tac” is SUCH A GREAT line I love it
The squip: “You make everyone around you nauseated” Jeremy: huge smile, mouths “wait what”
The Squip likes to be tall
Literally being able to see the gears turning in the Squip’s head as it watches Jeremy interact with people. It’s absolutely fascinated
The Squip looks so happy and supportive when Jeremy does something good unprompted? Like it gives Jeremy a little thumbs up when Jeremy adds the “She’s french” line when talking about Madeline
Sync up is so awesome and I straight up can’t imagine the show without it now that it’s there. Like I love how Jeremy masters the Squip hand choreography and he’s totally in sync (ha) with everyone else
Okay but I am DYING at the play being set in Athens............. Georgia (like... I went to school there! Go dawgs!) (I saw a production of midsummer once where the “you’ll know him by his athenian garb” meant that Demetrius was wearing a bulldogs sweater)
The Squip is absolutely BAFFLED when Jeremy is talking with Christine and being a huge fucking dork and she’s actually into it. And it’s just fascinated by here. Love it. I think it realizes then and there that she can’t be as easily manipulated as someone like Brooke, and I think that’s why it tries to kind of steer Jeremy away from her.
The Squip is like. So pleased with itself during all of Guy I’d Kind of Be Into
“DID YOU KILL EMINEM” “Noooooooooooooooot exactly” (low key the funniest line in the show)
Brooke and Jeremy are actually really cute and I get really sad for her cause she clearly likes him a lot and he just ends up hurting her (which was not his intention, but like, it still happens)
You can see the beginnings of the Squip’s plan forming as it watches everyone sing “I’m tired of being the person that everyone thinks that I am” during Upgrade
Loser Geek Whatever is. God. So relatable. And so many lines in it hit me so hard because like, someone put that experience into words
You can see Michael on the screens in the set walls saying Jeremy’s name for a second after the “optic nerve blocking on” line
I need a recording of the intermission music it’s so funky and I love it
I LOVE brooke’s dog costume it’s adorable
Jeremy says “fucking incredible” while the Squip is dancing during halloween
The Squip rolls its eyes at Jeremy for not realizing that Chloe is hitting on him and gives Chloe a look like “I know, he’s so oblivious” when Chloe laughs at Jeremy for not getting it
Chloe falls over on the bed during Do You Wanna Hang
The Squip flops face down on the bed when it gets shut down because of the alcohol and then it just stays there for the rest of the scene
Literally everyone in the audience gasped when Jeremy called Michael a loser
Michael does some of the same choreography from Two Player Game during Michael In The Bathroom and it hurt my heart
“pucking your way through the cast of midsummer” okay but what cast of midsummer HASNT had that one person that dates/hooks up with multiple people in the cast
I realized that the reason the Squip tells Jeremy that he has to leave NOW is cause it knows Rich is about to set the house on fire, not because everything else went poorly for Jeremy
Rich set a fire is SUCH a fun number, I love everyone’s slippers/pajamas and I love Brooke throwing her banana peel off stage and flinging her headphones off
I love Jeremy’s outfit in the scene where he yells at his dad. He looks really good okay, even if he’s being a dick
Pants song is lovely, also at the “do you love him” line there was like a record scratch sound effect (Michael: yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got into this situation.)
God... I love Pitiful Children. It manages to be funny at the beginning and then it turns into an incredibly threatening villain song by the end of it... Extra disturbing because Jeremy is so into it
I LOVE everyone’s costumes in the play - all the sequins, and I love Brooke and Chloe’s wigs. (Bit unrealistic that those would be costumes for a high school play but they’re so cool I’ll let it slide)
Gotta mention Jeremy’s vocal glitches, they blew my mind. Can’t believe Will Roland just does that (also I’m sad the line about vinyl isn’t on the cast recording cause that was low key my favorite glitch)
Jeremy flipping off the Squip and then the Squip twisting Jeremy’s arm >:(
The Squip’s death is so cool... I love the effects. Technical theatre rules
I love everything about Rich realizing he’s bi. Compulsory heterosexuality really do be like that sometimes
“Hi Rich........ Bye Rich” Michael I love you
Rich like, trails his hand up Michael’s stomach and Michael laughs and smacks his hand away and then he’s horrified cause he hurt Rich’s burns
I gotta mention the Hello Kitty shoes because I still can’t believe they’re real!!!! I love them and I love Jeremy with all my heart!!!!!!!
“Embrace the traits that make you so odd!” Love is stored.... In the Brooke (She’s so sweet and also I think she really did like Jeremy in part because he’s “odd” so get fucked Squip)
Troy Iwata’s Michael has a different jacket for VIMH. He’s got a Japanese flag patch and there’s a different thing on the back. I couldn’t read it but it’s different from George’s. The details!
Voices in my head is lovely and it makes me so happy
(Sorry I still can’t believe BMC didn’t get nominated for at least sound design cause the sound design was amazing. Imo it also deserved a lighting design nom. Sigh. Maybe if they’d gotten more Tony noms it wouldn’t have closed so soon.)
But yeah. It’s been two days and I already miss BMC on broadway. But I am looking forward to the show having a very successful future being licensed for school productions and other local productions!
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thenixkat · 5 years ago
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Animorphs notes 25
Book 25
Narrated by Marco
Marco actually has a love life and is a fucking dweeb about it. Neat
“Marian.
Not only is Marian gorgeous, with long, black hair, deep, dark eyes, and
dimples that make me want to cry every time she smiles. She's also
nearly as smart, charming, and charismatic as I am.
You can see we're a perfect couple. The only flaw I can find in her is
that she doesn't seem to think my jokes are very funny.
That, and her taste in music.”
Marco’s dad likes classical music
The school has served tainted meat to the students at least once
Apparently this is a shitty school if things are getting shut down b/c someone had to take it to court over asbestos 
Marco did poorly on the date. Should not pretend to like things that you don’r actually like to get with people
Marco talks about his love life with Cassie
So… the animorphs can scope out someone that Marco’s date probably isn’t a host but do they do that for their families?
Yeah I’m still bullshit on the whole dogs are always good and happy b/c alien pacifist spirits. B/c like dog? Not always happy or friendly.
Jake has charisma like plain oatmeal has flavor.
AU where the free horks assassinate Visser 3 when they’re feeding their host
Visser 3 scracthers their butt in public
So bug ships are good with flying through a planets atmosphere
So… does Visser 3 get parasites often enough that they don’t immediately jump to the andalite bandit conclusion?
The animorphs continue to be the luckiest motherfuckers in existance
Visser 3 has a collection of tourture instruments in their private quarters
The animorphs getting hosts killed b/c they didn’t think their plans through again. Huzzah
“Rising up behind her was a pillar of glass. A cylinder ten feet, twelve feet tall, and half as broad. Inside the cylinder was a vague shape, blood-red and midnight-blue slashes highlighting a glistening silver body.
Yes, body. Because despite the frosted glass and the mist that filled the cylinder, that ten-foot-tall tube contained something biological. There was a row of the cylinders spaced across the cargo bay. Maybe ten in all.”
Venber hybrid design
I’m guess he means -200 F?
Also the animorphs are so lucky that the yeerks don’t belive in video survalence
So can the writer’s just not count? Or does teh editor just not exist? 4 fucking doors opened in that fucking sequence. Ach counted 6 doors in this sequence and i trust that she’s better with numbers than I am
Ah the animorphs getting more people horribly maimed and killed b/c who the fuck knows is in the cansister with the alien that lives in absurdly fridgid temps
The free horks should hate these children and they’d be justified
And Visser 3 continues to be a shit leader
Rachel saving Cassie’s bacon
I mean Cassie, yer a Californian wolf (already kinda odd) but like you don’t think that an animal that lives in a hot place wouldn’t be good in the cold. No mexican wolf is gonna do well if just dumped in the arctic
Rachel keeps Ax warm as he and the others morph to hide in her fur from the cold. 
Jake, you have a Siberian tiger morph, why are you gonna hide in Rachel’s fur? That tiger should be doing just about as well as Rachel’s bear
Oh no I was wrong just Ax and Tobias hide in Rachels fur
Marco goes into shock b/c he stayed a tropical animal instead of at least trying his wolf morph
...Rachel, hitting someone in the head is a good way to give them a concussion or brain damage so not helping 
Again at best yall have Mexican wolves or Timbers adapted for the heat, Rachel’s grizzly is better than that
If you’ve been heading north al this time the arctic is more likely
“There were two of them. About eight feet tall. Humanoid. Torso, head, and limbs in the usual places. Only their heads were shaped kind of like a hammerhead shark's, oblong with big, dark globs on each side that must have been eyes. Each creature had two thick upper arms growing out of broad shoulders. The upper arms split at the elbows to make two forearms.
Big, burly, nasty-looking beasts. Silver, with flashes of blood-red and midnight-blue along their flanks, along their shoulders, and converging in their faces.
They were sliding toward us on long, ski-like feet. They used two of their forearms, one right and one left, to propel themselves forward.
And they glistened in the light like diamonds or crystals.”
More venber hybrids
Who apparently look exactly like regular venber
“The Venber kept coming, making strange, crunching noises. Regular, repeated sounds that seemed to ricochet off the rocks behind us in a weird, distorted echo. ”
Venbers echolocate apparently
Huh, so they’re not that far north then if the sun is setting
There was a polar bear at the zoo they got their morphs from. Too bad they never whent and collected more morphs from there
And teh andalites totally commited some form of genocide against the Five
Just assuming that humans are the creatures with the most complex genetic info avalible to the yeerks. But noooo the series isn’t saturated with ‘Humans are special!’
There’s fucking grass more geneticly complex than fucking humans
Really bitches? Yall do worse than seal shredding to yeerk hosts on a regular basis and Cassie you should be used to fucking predation
Ok i checked and this is after the dinosaur book more or less. Why are they surprised by Cassie being ok with hunting/scavenging? She’s already demonstrated more survival skills than the lot of yall
Cassie you’ve broken that don’t kill a sentient creature unless in absolute self defense many many times. I have not forgotten book 19 when you decided to kill a downed hork-bajir host that didn’t pose a threat to you
I like how all dolphins are lumped together by that statement
… dolphins have no blubber? Marco you just joined Jake’s “bows and arrows are close combat weapons” level of the fuck?
Seals have the instint to run? Sure
Amazing how these orca have blubber and can survive the artic waters
Also isn’t it a bit all that all the natives that the animorphs encounter all imediately assume that these kids are spirits?
I like this new kid but uh not the writers
Derek has a job
Derek is friends with a polar bear named Nanook. This is not getting less suspect
Friends as in watches him from a distance is slightly better
Derek goes back to his own life. 
You know animorphs you could warn him about the whole yeerk thing in case, ya know you guys loose. Spread some info around. 
Also, ya know if his village gets cable they can probably communicate to other people
Also, so, this inuit kid named his bear friend a bastardized version of the word for bear in his presumably native tongue
According to Marco polar bears hunt for fun b/c they are capable of going without eating for awhile. Almost like its difficult to find food in the fucking arctic and requires time and luck. These fuckmothering writers
The venber are strong enough to bend steel in their hands
Poor venbers
So there might be two surviving venber at the lest. If the yeerks can’t track and recapture them. If their programming stopped and they still arent attacking all quadrupeds putting them at odds with the locals who probably own dogs.
The book is finished at least. Did not enjoy that.
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emily-420 · 5 years ago
Text
try to hold the rising floods that fill my skin
jjba | jotakak | 5.6k | complete
It wasn’t so much that he was afraid of what might happen if he suggested it, but more that he was having a bit of trouble finding a way to word it that couldn’t be misconstrued as an insult.
One could likely suggest that this was Kakyoin’s own fault for phrasing near everything he said in way that covertly concealed an insult about as covertly as a thirteen-year-old shoplifting a candy bar for the first time, but he would no doubt undergo a spontaneous bout of deafness. read on ao3
Kakyoin suggested the idea about ten months after they’d gotten home from Egypt. To begin with, they had been sat with varying degrees of mounting frustration at the dining table at Jotaro’s place studying for their Japanese literature exam, until Jotaro threw down his pen and declared, “I’ve had enough of this.”
“Funny,” Kakyoin said, though his face held no trace of amusement whatsoever, “I could have sworn you’d had enough after the first three minutes.” Jotaro just sort of grunted at him, and though it was just a grunt, Jotaro had enough variations on the grunt in his repertoire to clearly convey that this was an accurate assessment. “Want to go for a walk?” Kakyoin asked, because Jotaro apparently had so much muscle that if he didn’t move around at every half-hour interval he was at risk of some sort of muscle-based internal crisis. Kakyoin didn’t know. He didn’t understand muscles.
They got up to go wander around the neighbourhood and promised to be back in time for dinner. Kakyoin had not been aware that he was staying for dinner, but it beat eating with his own parents, so he was not complaining.
“I hate this literature shit,” Jotaro grumbled as they started out on the street. “I’m fine with Japanese on its own because there’s rules and there’s a right answer. But literature is bullshit.”
“All of it?” Kakyoin asked sarcastically. “The entirety of all literature that has ever been written ever?”
“Shut up,” Jotaro muttered, because he didn’t know how to communicate. “You know what I mean. The fact that you can be tested on interpreting a subjective medium. And that there’s a ‘right answer’. That’s stupid.”
“Well, I know where you’re coming from. To me it’s less the interpretation of literature than interpreting what answers they want you to write during the test. I mean, the only critical framework we’ve been given is ‘what will get you marks on the exam’, so it’s not as if we’re really scrutinising anything.”
“Oh, yeah,” Jotaro mumbled. “I forget you like that shit. You know. Thinking about stuff.”
“Yes, I do indeed love to think about stuff. I do it all the time. You could say, in fact, that I am always thinking about stuff, constantly,” Kakyoin said, because, while he may have had a better grip on communication than Jotaro, he had less of a grip on how to have friends.
“I am going to kill you one day,” Jotaro said, kicking a rock, and Kakyoin didn’t believe him for even a second, which was how he had yet to cease being such a ginormous bastard.
Jotaro kept kicking the rock. Kakyoin took a couple turns when it ended up closer to him. It was late afternoon, not quite sunset, and the neighbourhood was comparatively quiet, muffled sounds of life in the air as if a solid barrier surrounded the two of them on the carless street. The two weirdos.
Life had gone back to normal alarmingly quickly after they’d recovered enough from their injuries to leave Egypt. Polnareff and Abdul stayed in Cairo, and Iggy went with the Speedwagon Foundation to get a prosthetic foot so he could go back to stealing people’s hotdogs in New York to his fullest capacity. Probably he would have been fine without a prosthetic - many dogs were - but he had been putting on such a show of suffering that Joseph got annoyed enough to give in and foot (ha) the bill. Apparently, Joseph and Suzie had stayed at the Kujo’s for a whole month to make sure their daughter was okay, being ��really fucking suffocating’ (Jotaro’s words) in their displays of affection. Kakyoin wouldn’t know because he’d spent that month trying not to move too much so as not to agitate the massive bruising that still remained on what little abdominal muscle he was in possession of.
Probably he ought to be grateful that Dio had been arrogant enough to assume that a solid punch to the stomach with his (hi)jacked muscles and a good water tower to the back would be enough to do him in, but mostly he had just been sort of hibernating and playing video games and trying not to think about the pain. At least he still had all of his appendages, anyway. And with all his bountiful parts, Kakyoin went right back to school as soon as he was up and about, and it wasn’t even entirely because his parents didn’t quite understand that an evil immortal vampire had done a real number on his insides and wanted him to get over it and back to studying for exams. No, he was still on his Conquering His Many Psychological Issues kick, and was trying to prove that he was like… tough, or something. It made sense at the time, in any case.
He hadn’t quite forgotten that he went to the same school as Jotaro, but it was a close thing, given that they’d had all of one day of school together before leaving the country, and also that Kakyoin was brainwashed for all of it. As it happened, in that one day of school, in the brief window between arriving at the institution and trying to do some murders in the nurse’s office, Kakyoin had chosen the desk beside Jotaro’s at the back of the room. At least, he can only assume he did given his things were there, and it would have only been so he could stare at Jotaro and think about all the murder he was going to do on him for the good Lord Dio while their teacher talked about calculus, or something equally non-murder related.
Anyway, as they happened to be in the same class, and happened to sit next to each other, and happened to have gone on the same journey across the planet where they had to try very hard not to die all the time constantly, he and Jotaro were… friends, he supposed. He supposed because Kakyoin had never had a friend before, but he had seen what they were like -- boisterous, considerate. Sociable, definitely. He couldn’t say that they were friends the way other people were friends, but then, it wasn’t as if they weren’t, either.
They ate lunch together. A few days a week, they’d either study at Jotaro’s place or play games at Kakyoin’s. One time, out the front of a convenience store, Kakyoin tried one of Jotaro’s cigarettes and decided immediately, amidst a lot of coughing, that he did not like it at all thank you, and Jotaro shrugged, said ‘you get used to it,’ and shoved the cigarette Kakyoin definitely would not finish in his mouth beside the one he was already smoking. He’d looked stupid, and Kakyoin told him as much more than once, but all he had to say for himself was ‘I’m not gonna waste it.’
So, in a lot of ways, their friendship could be seen as fairly normal, if you only looked at about half of it. For Kakyoin, at that point, after travelling with him, it just felt normal to be around Jotaro, but not in quite the same way as the others. With Abdul and Joseph, there was a barrier of respect and formality that had a tendency to inhibit real closeness. Iggy was, in addition to being a vicious little bastard, a dog, so you’ll have to forgive Kakyoin for not being overly close to him. And then there was Polnareff. Polnareff was in general incredibly bright, accepting, and fun to be around no matter who you were, but this tendency of his was especially meaningful to the two teens. Kakyoin couldn’t speak entirely for Jotaro, but he knew that for himself, the way Polnareff had delighted in his quirks and was entertained by his info-dumping was touching, in stark contrast to the way people usually slinked away from him at the first sign that he was Not Normal.
So, Polnareff had been sort of a goofy older brother to him, yes. But it was different to the sheer amount of sameness between him and Jotaro. Sure, they had different interests and personalities, but they were the same age, both autistic, both stand users. There was a similar kind of disinterest in everyone else in the world who couldn’t begin to understand them that made it remarkably easy for them to get along, to exist quietly next to each other, satisfied to have found someone who gets them so well.
This can sound very deep and emotional, but the surface-level result of it all, when thrust back into an everyday environment, was that they often spent long periods saying nothing at all to each other. This could, and in fact had, given the amount of concern for his imminent safety some of Kakyoin’s classmates had hilariously been showing, make it seem as if they didn’t like each other at all. Oftentimes Jotaro was content to say nothing and stare out the window, and Kakyoin, in addition to usually having his Gameboy somewhere on his person, was oftentimes content to make sarcastic little remarks to himself, or whoever might care to listen.
It was upon reflecting on this comfortable nature of their relationship that Kakyoin had spawned The Idea, and he had been mulling it over for a good few weeks. He felt like it was a good Idea, but there was every chance that Jotaro would think he’d lost the plot entirely, which would be truly a shame given that he was really Kakyoin’s only friend who lived in the country, unless you counted his Gameboy, which he did. That said, it wasn’t so much that he was afraid of what might happen if he suggested it - he was Jotaro’s only friend too, after all - but more that he was having a bit of trouble finding a way to word it that couldn’t be misconstrued as an insult.
One could likely suggest that this was Kakyoin’s own fault for phrasing near everything he said in way that covertly concealed an insult about as covertly as a thirteen-year-old shoplifting a candy bar for the first time, but he would no doubt undergo a spontaneous bout of deafness.
To return to what we’ll tenuously refer to as the present, they had reached a waterway at the edge of the neighbourhood. The sun was setting by then, the light low and slanted over the creek, and the shadows were deepening. They stopped by the water, a few meters along from a footbridge that was also heavily used by cyclists and students. Jotaro went to school that way; he had once gone to stop a younger kid from being bullied for their cash only for the dude in question to take one glance over his shoulder, take in Jotaro’s physical mass, and immediately take off in the other direction. ‘It was like Hol Horse all over again,’ Jotaro had told him, clearly highly amused by the whole escapade.
“Sorry my mum assumed you’d stay for dinner again,” Jotaro said into the quiet.
“Not at all. I like her cooking. Anyway, it’s Saturday, so it’s not like my parents will be waiting for me,” Kakyoin said. His parents were both office workers, and while it was true that they both usually got dinner and drinks with their coworkers on the last workday of the week, it was also true that they weren’t exactly home early for the rest of the week, either. Between them not being home and Kakyoin frequenting the Kujo’s place, they had dinner together as a family about once a week, if that.
Jotaro knew this - he’d mentioned it previously - but didn’t comment on it. “Besides,” Kakyoin continued, “it’s nice to eat with people who I can actually talk to.”
He saw Jotaro tug on the brim of his hat out of the corner of his eye. “...For what it’s worth,” he started, and then paused for a few seconds. Kakyoin glanced at him - he had a discomforted twist to his mouth. “...I think she’s just. Happy. That I have a friend.”
“Ah.” Kakyoin gave Jotaro a single light pat to the back of his shoulder. “Me too.”
Jotaro gave him a very unimpressed look. “Yeah, thanks, shithead.”
“I meant that I was happy that I had a friend,” Kakyoin scoffed. And added, after consideration, “Shithead.”
“Whatever,” Jotaro said, but he was smiling as much as he ever smiled, which was to say, barely, and mostly emotionally. He was smiling in his heart, and he knew that, and Kakyoin knew that, and that was all that mattered.
“Did you shake out all your stupid muscles enough yet?” Kakyoin asked, gone directly back to being sarcastic.
“Stretch out, you mean.”
Kakyoin flipped a dismissive hand. “Whatever you do with them.”
“Yeah, I feel better.” Jotaro turned away from the water to head back the way they came; Kakyoin followed alongside him. “It’s nice to get out.”
“If you say so,” Kakyoin said, because he was a gamer, and his stand didn’t like enclosed spaces for no reason.
“Speaking of shitheads,” Jotaro said, “I talked to Polnareff last night.”
“He called you?”
“Yeah. I forgot to mention it ‘cause after that we had to see my dad off at the airport. But anyway, he says his Arabic is getting really good.”
“He says.”
Jotaro smirked. “Yeah. Probably he learned how to say ‘you’re welcome’.” Polnareff, in all his posturing about French being the most superior and beautiful language of them all, had never had the strongest English out of them. He was more natural than Kakyoin, who had a very textbook-based understanding and found it hard to follow along at first, but it was clear enough to him once he got used to the speed of conversational English that this was more due to the closeness of the two languages than any study on Polnareff’s part. If he knew any more of the language than Jotaro, who was probably more fluent given his test scores than the handful of words he uttered at any one time let on, Kakyoin would be surprised.
“He also said he moved in with Abdul. Like, officially.” Polnareff had been staying with Abdul while he tried to figure out what exactly his skillset was and what kind of work he could do. He didn’t have the chance to really figure it out before, having his early adulthood stolen by his sister’s murder and involvement with Dio, but he had said to them, when they were saying their goodbyes and while studiously not looking at his boyfriend, ‘All I know right now is that I love him. That’s all I have left.’
“He’s doing investigative work now. Apparently he didn’t want to make it permanent until they were equals.”
For a second Kakyoin thought that was incredibly stupid, but then he considered his own pride, and thought maybe it wasn’t that unfathomable at all, really. “I guess that makes sense. I do feel bad for Abdul-san, though. May God rest his soul.”
There was a shared moment there, as they walked down a residential street that looked like any other, where they silently contemplated the precise pitch of Polnareff’s snoring, and also the smell of his feet after being in the desert all day.
“...It’s nice, though,” Jotaro said after a minute, hands in his pockets. “That they’re happy. And they have something.”
Exactly, Kakyoin thought loudly, and then, well, I guess I have to ask sometime. “Speaking of,” he said lightly, “I had been kind of thinking, lately.” Jotaro grunted to show he was listening. “Well, you know. I’ve never been close to anyone the way I am with everyone we fought with, and especially you.” He took a moment to consider his words, what he really wanted to say, and also how not to accidentally take a sledgehammer to Jotaro’s pride, however unsuccessful such a thing may be.
“Essentially… I thought I would never have any fulfilling relationships if no one could see my Stand, and I still don’t think I could be satisfied, even as friends, if someone didn’t understand that about me. And given that, and me being the way I am,” --this was a polite way of referencing his autism, but it was also mostly about the way he read a lot of encyclopedias as a kid and had a habit of spouting facts at random, and also his long and storied history of doing unspeakable things to cherries with his mouth-- “...I just think the odds of me meeting someone who sees all that, and understands it, and still wants to be around me, it’s…”
“It’s not impossible,” Jotaro said, frowning, but then he was usually frowning, so this may not have been indicative of anything.
“No,” Kakyoin said, looking quite seriously at him, “it’s not, because it’s already happened.”
Jotaro blinked twice at him, and without breaking his stride pointed questioningly at himself.
“Yeah,” Kakyoin said. “I was just thinking. We spend a lot of time together. I like being around you. I don’t mind meeting new people, but it always feels like there’s a huge gap between us so I never feel really connected to anyone, and I feel like you’re the same. And we’re both Stand users so we don’t have to worry about putting each other in danger.”
“What are you saying?” Jotaro was still frowning, but somehow this seemed like more of curious frown than it had previously. Kakyoin briefly considered the possibilities of Jotaro having a discreet second Stand which surreptitiously rearranged his eyebrow hairs when no one was looking. Born from Jotaro’s inability to show emotion with his own facial muscles, no doubt.
“Wouldn’t it be easy if we dated each other?” Kakyoin asked directly. “Instead of struggling to find someone else to understand us?”
Jotaro blinked at him some more. “Wait. Are you confessing to me?”
“Oh, goodness, no,” Kakyoin said with a laugh.
“Gee, thanks,” Jotaro grumbled. “...I mean. It’s not like you have to date someone.”
“No, I know. I just think that I would like to share my life with someone.” He made a thoughtful sort of face, said, “And the intimacy would be nice, too.” Jotaro shot him a look of unbridled terror and Kakyoin waved his hands immediately, saying, “Not like that, I just meant, you know, everyday stuff--”
“Oh thank god. I don’t--”
“Yeah.”
“You remember,” Jotaro said, this time with a contemplative twist to his frown, “how I said I thought I might be gay?”
“Of course.” Kakyoin had been out as gay to Jotaro, and the others, from practically the very beginning, because his mouth was figuratively as well as physically big, and his openness about the subject seemed to have made Jotaro feel a little more comfortable talking about it, too.
“That was probably wrong.” Before Kakyoin could feel any kind of reaction to this in the wake of what he had just proposed, Jotaro continued, maintaining all the while a pointed frown at the bitumen in front of him as they walked. “I think it’s more like, I just don’t like people very often. Girls or guys. Our classmates for example. They aren’t my friends so why would I feel anything for them. If that makes sense.”
“I think it does. It just means you don’t trouble yourself with trivial crushes based solely on appearances. I’m a lot like that, too. Well, unless you count that guy in middle school, but to be fair, I was in middle school, so I wouldn’t.”
“...I like you, though,” Jotaro said thoughtfully, looking over at him. They were only about two minutes from the Kujo house, and a cool autumn breeze played with the curls under his hat as he walked. “It’s not the worst idea you’ve ever had.”
“Yeah?”
“I guess, sure. Let’s try it. See what happens.”
“Cool,” Kakyoin agreed. He made no move to take Jotaro’s hand, link their arms, or be closer to him in any way, but he did say, flipping a hand and not altering his tone to go along with the more theatrical turn he took, “So, oh dear boyfriend of mine, because I am so sweet and thoughtful, I have brought with me on my person my Tetris cartridge, purely for your entertainment.”
“Hell yes,” Jotaro said expressionlessly. “Did you beat my high score yet?”
“Does it matter?” Kakyoin asked, steadfastly not looking at him, because of course he hadn’t. Tetris, as it happened, was tragically the one game that Jotaro liked, and he also happened to be superhumanly good at it. His high score was nearly double Kakyoin’s. Kakyoin was never going to live that down, probably, but he was also never going to let Jotaro forget that he had bet his mortal soul on a game he had never played once in his life, on two separate occasions, so probably they were even. “I’ve been mostly playing Super Mario Land, anyway.”
Jotaro grunted, said, “That game’s annoying.”
“You’re annoying, you heathen. You uncultured swine. I do you the charitable favour of letting you play my games and this is what you say to me. I cannot believe you’ve said this,” Kakyoin bitched, entirely straight-faced. They had had this conversation any number of times now and he was having fun making his reactions to the claim progressively more outlandish and ridiculously phrased. Jotaro just snickered, and they carried on in this vein until they got back.
They somewhat reluctantly studied for about another hour when they returned, and then Holly happily announced that dinner was ready, so they cleared their books, worksheets, and other assorted paraphernalia away and ate. It felt a little weird to talk to Holly when her son had just agreed to date him, even if it was only as a kind of odd experiment, but only a little, given that they hadn’t, like, done anything to solidify their kind-of-relationship yet.
Holly said that they’d surely ace their exam with all the studying they had done, and Jotaro just sort of lowered his head to eat closer to his food, as if he was praying. Kakyoin knocked his socked foot against Jotaro’s bare ankle under the table; he glanced up at him, and when Kakyoin just gave him a deadpan look at two thumbs up, Jotaro gave him an unimpressed glare and the finger. Or, more accurately, Star Platinum gave him the finger, because he was a teenager and hated being scolded.
This didn’t really work out in his favour though, given that Holly roused, “Kujo Jotaro, I saw that!!” and spent a decent five minutes chasing him about the house with a tea towel and vines wiggling threateningly in his direction. Kakyoin ate quietly by himself, wondering why, if Jotaro’s legs were about twice as long as everyone else on the planet’s, and also he could stop time, he would choose to put the couch in between him and his mother instead. Not that getting whacked with a tea towel was really something worth running away from in the first place. He wondered if it was an American thing -- which it could well have been, given that everything Kakyoin knew about Americans was based entirely on Joseph Joestar’s personality -- and then had a great time by himself entertaining the notion that this was all a play they were putting on for his benefit. Dinner and a show.
It was nice, though. Family that liked and was comfortable enough with each other to goof around like that was something he never had. Though he sometimes felt like something of an intruder on the household, being folded into the mix of it, even just as an observer… it was nice. It made him feel very warm in the general chest area, and he didn’t know what to do with that, with knowing that these people felt more like his family than the people who brought him into the world.
Later, after dinner, he and Jotaro were hanging out in Jotaro’s room, splayed mostly across Jotaro’s futon. Kakyoin would probably end up spending the night; it happened fairly often, enough that his parents had stopped worrying if he didn’t come home. Plenty of people would undoubtedly give anything for that kind of freedom, but as it was, he was so used to them not really understanding or paying enough attention to him that all he could feel was a kind of cold, stale resentment that was as firmly lodged in his heart as his own self-loathing.
He could forget about that for the time being though. Jotaro was laying on his back playing Tetris on Kakyoin’s Gameboy, one knee in the air, and Kakyoin was cross-legged beside him reading a horror novel he’d taken out from the library. They were largely still in their uniforms, though Kakyoin had taken off his jacket and was only wearing the uniform short-sleeved white button-down shirt that Jotaro had mysteriously never acquired. It was quiet in the room for a good while, just the sounds of the night, Jotaro pressing at the plastic buttons, and Kakyoin turning the thin pages of his book.
One might wonder what, exactly, the point was of ‘hanging out’ with someone if you were only going to do something you could well do without them, but the answer was easy and simple. It was the presence of another person in the room, another sound of life, a solid reassurance. It was, really, just like having a cat, but we can keep that between ourselves for now.
After a time, Jotaro dropped his hand and the Gameboy in it down on the futon and let out a sigh. Kakyoin made a noise of agreement, even though he hadn’t said anything, because that was the kind of thing they did, and also treating any slight trace of expression that came from Jotaro equally was the most efficient way to go about actually communicating with him.
“Hey,” Jotaro said after a minute.
“Yeah,” Kakyoin said, not looking up from his book. Jotaro kept silent in a way that meant he was waiting for Kakyoin to look at him, so he said, “Wait a moment,” and finished the paragraph he was reading before setting his book down and turning his attention to his friend. Or, well, boyfriend. He wasn’t used to it yet.
“Was just kinda thinking,” Jotaro said shortly, looking at his ceiling. “Are you even, like… attracted to me?”
Kakyoin batted his eyelashes at him insincerely. “You want me to tell you you’re pretty?”
There was a second where Jotaro just looked up at him, and then, though Kakyoin was fairly sure he hadn’t stopped time, he had no warning before Jotaro was on top of him and attempting to smother him with his pillow. He wasn’t serious about it, obviously, or Kakyoin wouldn’t have been able to pry him away with Hierophant Green, cackling and pressing a foot into Jotaro’s stomach.
“Learn to take a joke, god,” Kakyoin said, still on his back, half off the futon. Jotaro just grunted and settled beside him, one leg folded in front of him, the other propping up his elbow. Kakyoin looked up at him consideringly, said, “I mean. You’re attractive, yeah, but that’s like, more of a statement of fact than my opinion or anything. I see you as my friend first.”
“Hm.” If Kakyoin didn’t know better, he’d said Jotaro looked unmoved, but as it was, he did, and he could tell that he was a little embarrassed by that.
Kakyoin propped himself up on his elbows. “Honestly, I was more attracted to you when we first met. You’re just kinda this big good-looking dork I know, now.” He shrugged, as best he could.
Jotaro wouldn’t look at him. “What do you mean,” he said, in that toneless way of his that could make him sound more demanding but really just meant he was having trouble processing things.
“Are you kidding me? I didn’t really notice when I was fighting you, because of the whole being brainwashed situation, but when I woke up here, you were leaning over me, you had my face in your hands, all focussed on me--”
Jotaro had his head in his hands at this point. “Stop,” he said desperately, which was probably a mistake, given that Kakyoin was an absolute shithead.
He grinned and poked Jotaro in the thigh. “I was like, jesus, who is this guy? Who’d I kill to deserve this? If you could only imagine the state of my little gay heart--” Jotaro made a noise like he could not physically bear to hear any more of this, and Kakyoin took pity on him. “Alright, sorry, but you did ask,” he said, flopping back down. “Anyway, then I saw you have a panic attack over having to kill a shark and you told me about different types of coral for an hour and I was like, oh no okay he’s just kind of a nerd.”
Peeking out at him from behind his fingers, Jotaro said, “Mm. And now you wanna go out with me.”
“I know for a fact I didn’t put it like that.”
Jotaro snorted, sat back against his hands. “I guess we should go on a date?”
Kakyoin made a face at the ceiling, which was definitely not fair considering this whole thing was his idea in the first place. “Yeah. Doesn’t feel real, huh?”
“I mean. It’s been two hours.”
Kakyoin just snorted, and Jotaro got up somewhat laboriously - it must have been such a curse, having so many muscles to carry with you all over the place, Kakyoin felt bad for him - and said, “I’m going out for a smoke.”
He had an ashtray on the desk in his room, and he took it out with him, other hand rifling in his pocket for his cigarettes. Holly knew he smoked, it wasn’t exactly easy to hide, but she also seemed to think there was nothing she could do to stop him, so instead she had a very firm Not In The House rule that Jotaro respected. The house being traditional, most rooms had shoji doors leading on to the engawa, and Jotaro’s room was no different. He slid them open now, and still laying on the floor, Kakyoin asked, “Mind if I come out?”
Jotaro barely paused, pulling a cigarette out of the pack with his lips, mumbling, “Do what you want,” which was about as much of an invitation as he ever gave.
Kakyoin didn’t get up immediately, his outrageously long limbs having made good friends with the floor. Honestly, he hadn’t really expected Jotaro to agree, and was at a bit of a loss as to what one did with their boyfriend. He supposed that their relationship had never really been normal, though, so he might as well do the whole dating thing however he saw fit. Sitting up, he grabbed his Gameboy and stepped quietly out to where Jotaro sat smoking at the edge of the engawa.
Sitting next to him, legs over the edge, Kakyoin asked, “Why’d you agree, anyway?” Looking at him out of the corner of his eye and crooking an eyebrow in amusement, Jotaro opened his mouth, but before he could make the terrible joke he was definitely about to make, Kakyoin said quickly, “Don’t you dare tell me you’re not sure.”
Jotaro snorted. “Spoilsport.” He sat quietly for a moment, looking thoughtfully out at the neat garden that was barely only scantly visible in the dark. “I guess, I thought about it and it seemed like dating you would be easy and comfortable. Seemed nice.”
That had been Kakyoin’s point, too, so he nodded. And then he pressed his shoulder against Jotaro’s and said, quite obnoxiously, “Aw, you mean it wasn’t just because you were captivated by my stunning good looks?”
“I,” Jotaro said, and then stopped, visibly struggling with something for a moment. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and exhaled deeply. He turned a little to look at Kakyoin more properly. “You know,” he said, “sometimes you’re too hard on yourself.”
Kakyoin blinked at him, feeling sort of vacant all of a sudden. “I literally just said I had stunning good looks.”
“You were joking, though,” Jotaro said evenly, and looked away from him again. “You know, you…” He made a face – or, well, more of a micro-expression, really – that suggested that whatever he was going to say next was going to be torn from the depths of his mind almost against his will, even though he was, unless Kakyoin was mistaken, very much in control of his own mouth. “You’re kind of charming in your own way.”
Kakyoin’s heart was beating in his chest. It usually was, and he knew this, but at that moment, he was particularly aware of it, for some reason. He looked out at the garden. “That just means I’m funny looking,” he muttered.
“S’not what I said,” Jotaro grumbled crankily. “I said it in a nice way because I meant it in a nice way.”
“Right,” Kakyoin said uselessly. He bumped their shoulders together again, and stayed there this time. “Thanks.”
Jotaro snorted, looked at him thoughtfully, and then, very slowly and awkwardly as if there was some sort of trap embedded on Kakyoin’s body that he wanted to avoid springing, maneuvered his arm over Kakyoin’s shoulders. Settling against him, Kakyoin shuffled a bit closer along the engawa.
“What’s that for?” It wasn’t as if they had never touched each other, but it wasn’t like Jotaro to be particularly touchy-feely.
He shrugged, putting his cigarette back in his mouth. “Thought I’d try it.”
“Right.” Kakyoin looked down at his hands. “Okay,” he said at a more normal volume than before, “I am definitely going to beat your high score.”
“Good fucking luck,” Jotaro said, and Kakyoin stuck a bony elbow into his ribs, and it was nice. Easy, and comfortable.
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cactuarkitty · 8 years ago
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Random DA:O Thoughts - Pt 13.
Found a set of quests in Denerim for Rogues. I wasn’t sure if I could do them since I’m a mage, but seems like I can. Haha one of them I had to pick up body bags and dump them in the well. I almost choked laughing cause Alistair was looking at Norua funny. Like “Ah… Norua, we’re dumping bodies now?” “Well we’re killing people everyday, so…?” “Fair enough!”
I now know what all those love letters are for too. Haven’t found them all. I have a feeling there might be love letters in two locked chests in the Arl’s estate in Denerim - which I can’t unlock. Oops!
After speaking with Anora, I spoke to Alistair. We’re planning to run away together, living in sin and eating cake. Excellent!
Can finally go to the Elven Alienage. There’s a few side quests I need to do in there.
There’s a weird plague. Also something shady going on with Tevinter Mages. Hmmm…
The giant tree is sooo cool! I love it! Now I finally have found all the places of power :D
Haha it cracked me up that after I spoke to this elf lady about whats going on in the town (the elf I freed from the dungeon was there and told me about her), I broke into her house and stole all her stuff hahahah. Classic DA :D
A Templar named Ser Otto wants me to be his eyes and investigate some evil in the alienage. He’s blind cause a mage hit him with ice magic I think. Anyway I had a look around, found some creepy clues. Now we’re all in a creepy orphanage :/ damn it reminds me more of Silent Hill than DA. Super creepy whispers and ghosts. Gross blood stains and fire damage. Where’s the mist haha. DAMN creepy demons!! NOOO Ser Otto died :( was stabbed with a giant pitch fork. Ahhh annoying. I wonder if I made him stay in town whether he’d insist he come along anyway. Probably can’t change it. Sad :( Cleared out the demons though and found an amulet for an elf who heard whispers. Hope it helps her.
Lol now the beggars are asking for money. I’m too nice even in games. Gave them some gold.
The Tevinter Mage quest was quite hard. They were transporting Elves as slaves :/ he had a bullshit deal that I’d pay him 100 gold for him to leave. No way! Time to die! Whoa, that main mage was hard. I think I let him go in exchange for info on Loghain’s treachery.
Haha a reference to King Arthur. I pulled an axe out of a stone, a bunch of ladies said I’m the next Queen. Knew it! I’ll be Queen of the Wardens though :D with my King, Alistair.
It’s weird but everyone in Denerim calls me Ser. I’m a lady, fools!
Sten’s loyalty quest was pretty easy. Anyway he’s happy now. He’s calling me a special name, but I can’t remember what it was. He’s so cool! When I play again I’m going to try taking him more often.
The Ostaga dlc is so sad! Poor King Cailan. We gave him a proper burial. Thought we might find Duncan’s body too but we didn’t. Also found his armour, shield, and sword… plus Duncan’s sword. I feel like it’s creepy to put his Armour on Alistair so I stored it all in the chest. I did give Duncan’s sword to Alistair. So now he is wearing the grey warden armour with Duncan’s sword and shield. He is looking fiiiine! I took Alistair and Wynne, they had some interesting things to say.
Finished up a bunch of side quests in Denerim and now off to the landsmeet, cause there isn’t much else left to do except kiss Alistair hehe. Wow Loghain never shuts up! He’s just yelling the whole time. All the lords voted for the wardens except for one, so I guess I did pretty well. Had to fight him, then chose to have Alistair execute him. For Duncan! Felt kinda bad a little. I totally expected that it would come out that he’d been possessed by a demon, and that’s why he did the things he did. Guess he just went power mad or something. I made Anora queen, Alistair was relieved. Hopefully she isn’t like her Father. From what I gathered she was the one ruling anyway, and she had arguements with her dad over some stuff. Probably be better for her to rule without the intererence of Loghain. Really happy to keep Alistair as a grey warden.
Uh oh Redcliffe is overrun with darkspawn. Alistair thinks he’s King too lol. Some weird glitch which I found out about on google. Like they didn’t even record the dialogue for if he wasn’t King. I had him sleep with Morrigan so we wouldn’t die. The cutscene made me so mad! Ugh never watching that again. Poor Alistair.
Can’t really remember everything that I thought about the ending so will summarise it. I didn’t enjoy it as much as the rest of the game. Some of the fights were quite hard, I keep forgetting to use the armies haha. I think I enjoyed it more when I was in Fort Dracon. Also when I’d been playing the first part I was kinda half falling asleep. The Archdemon was so hard! I had a lot of trouble cause I couldn’t use the ballista. Leliana was dead so couldn’t use her. I was controlling Alistair cause I’d died lol. So then I couldn’t revive Leliana to unlock the ballista. So yeah I got sick of trying to beat it so I put the difficulty down. At that point I just wanted it over with.
I was super relived the king glitch didn’t continue into the end. When I asked Alistair what his plans were, he said he’d be staying with the Wardens with me, and he couldn’t think of anything better than being with me. YAY! Also he couldn’t wait to be alone :D If ya get my drift [wink wink nudge nudge].
Zevran is going to hang out with the wardens, Wynne is going with Shale to Tevinter, Leliana is going to help with the sacred ashes stuff, oghren is staying on the surface I think, Sten is going back to his homeland (reckons he might come back to fight us), couldn’t talk to doggo… guess he’s coming with Alistair and I, Morrigan dissapeared after the fight.
Things that never came up for me: the talk with Leliana about the nugs (I think maybe I was meant to do it before the Orzammar quest was complete. I dunno), Leliana never asked me about the romance with Alistair. Probably missed a ton more too.
Going to replay my mage game again cause I love it. Expect pics and gif sets. :D Edit: Am up to Lothering in the new game hehe. Have recorded heaps of scenes for gifs. ^^
So cute how Alistair planted a small memorial for Duncan awwww. I hc though that Norua went with him. :)
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sportsbored · 6 years ago
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The chances of Lamar Jackson going to the New York Jets are SIGNIFICANTLY less that zero due to just about every move we’ve made in the offseason
MORE THAN. Twas a typo. I meant MORE than zero.
Soo, I’m already anticipating the downvotes. Why? I won’t shut about Lamar Jackson. I understand. I’m actually annoyed at the amount of hours I’ve invested researching. I used to have a life sobs. But, in my time investigating, I found a lot of things and..
I think we might draft Lamar Jackson.
But I probably can’t convince you that because media and mocks and blah blah. So, I’ll just say:
The chances of Lamar Jackson going to the New York Jets are SIGNIFICANTLY more than zero due to just about every move we’ve made in the offseason
But I’m not basing this off gut or any of that bullshit. I’ve found some interesting quotes from Bowles and info about our personnel that suggest, schematically and philosophically, Lamar is too much of a fit for the direction the team is going in to not be considered. (Please read before you downvote)
Before the draft hype started happening, Josh McCown went on a radio show and was asked what QBs he thought about becoming a QB coach or scout. What he thought of the QBs coming into the draft. Without being asked to comment specifically about Lamar, he went on a spiel about how effective Lamar could be in the passing game with his ability to run and read the field.. Now, I will say, this was before McCown came back to us. He might not even have us in mind. I mean, we all know McCown is vying for a QB coach, or coaching position in general, after he retires. Maybe input on who he likes best? But this was also at a time when the Polian quote was hot. Could mean something...?
Buuut, It also could mean a whole lotta nothing. Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
This all starts from a video of Bowles during the combine, explaining why John Morton left. Basically, he said that Morton wasn't the best person for going in the new direction of the team. He said they are trying mesh their run and pass game several times. Hmmm... If you wanted to mesh those two things, there IS one perfect guy... But again, ahead of ourselves. Bowles repeated this several times (seriously it’s funny the way he emphasizes it lol) and, with the moves the FO made, it makes sense.
Jeremy Bates, our new OC, is a West Coast system guy. Besides being a better OC for our newly meshed run pass game, Bates is a stickler for footwork. Here's a cool article about it. Wonder why McCopter's throwing was better this year than you remember in his TB and Browns days? Footwork. Now, everyone - sans Rosen - in this draft class has footwork issues. I won’t act like fixing one of the few valid holes in Lamar’s game (which is the [easy thing to fix)[(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3qDroheNw8)] in a QB btw) makes the Morton connection a special fit for Jackson. But a good system might.
Bates runs a West Coast Offense. The West Coast Offense is perfect for Lamar, as it's centered on short and intermediate passes, timing and anticipation. Coming from an Erhardt-Perkins system (think Patriots, hence the interest), reading defenses was a requirement, and Partrino would actually stop practices when Lamar was tempted to run as an underclassmen. Despite draft media saying ridiculous things like he doesn't read coverages or throw with anticipation, he thrives on taking advantage of windows in zone reads. Here's a sheet from a longer contexualized report by Ben Solak explain things with numbers and such for all the QBs. But it doesn’t just take a system that matches, but a commitment to that play style... Well according to Bowles...
56:07 ish Depending on the team and depending the scheme [mobility in a quarterback] can be very valuable. Half the league has drop back quarterbacks and half the league have mobile quarterbacks and do more zone read stuff so depending [on scheme] you may look at it as a benefit, you may not, but it has its place in this league...
What is a zone read offense? According to this, a "zone" blocking up front, with the quarterback giving or keeping based upon the "read" he makes. Keep that in mind.
My perception doesn’t change the quarterbacks we have ...we tailor the game to their strength and not their weakness so it really doesn’t matter to me.
Hmmmmmmmm.... funny saying this, while also saying this.
1:49 Bates is 3 steps ahead of the ball game... Jeremey gives us the chance to think ahead and do certain things that I don’t think we had in the past, so, combined with Dennison, and the rest of the Offensive Coaches, I think it was the right thing to do.
When we dumped Morton, we not only promoted Jeremy Bates, we hired a new Offensive Line Coach, Rick Dennison. Dennison is a master of, what else, but the Zone Blocking Scheme, a scheme that encourages Lineman to run down the field to block. This scheme is especially good with runners that can make quick cuts like Crowell, or Powell...or Lamar. Oops I dropped some film of Lamar tearing up Syracuse with some ZBS concepts. Ok, we might be running zone blocking, and Bowles might have said mobility is valuable for teams who do things like zone reads but... I don’t think Dennison means much, right? Did I mention that Dennison was once Tyrod Taylor’s QB coach and also the coach for Jay Cutler and Matt Schaub when had their best completion percentage numbers? No? Well, this does.
Speaking about accuracy, Lamar’s terrible right? How can he be a choice as a number 3 QB if he’s a terrible thrower? First, Josh Allen's % is worse. Besides that, well, he’s not really inaccurate. Lamar had the most incompletions due to drops of the QBs available, this was even in his heisman season. Even with an inconsistent base, Lamar’s accuracy concerns makes adjusted completion percentage was 3rd best of the 5, *right behind Rosen. He even had a better adj comp % than Rosen before his god awful bowl game. Unless you think Darnold is inaccurate, you can't say the same for Lamar.
But he has terrible mechanical issues! Terrible, no, inconsistent, yes. This article explains the details of what Lamar’s problems are regarding mechanics (which is technically a hip and elbow problem but whatever). Regardless, despite Considering his ball placement is already in the top tier of draft eligible QBs (according to the godly Ben Solak) Seems like Lamar’s already coming along, although not perfect yet. And we have Jeremy Bates to help him fix whatever other gap exists. It's really his one glaring flaw and we have the coaching staff and scheme to fix it...
But I haven’t heard any rumors about LJ to the Jets! The Jets are hush mouth about what prospects they want, but were SUPER hush mouth about Hack during his draft process. We didn’t didn't even release the fact they had a workout with him (and I checked google). That’s why the Baker & Jets marriage didn’t make much sense to myself. Mayfield is much more vocal than we usually are about these things. Either way, there hasn't been a word yet about the Jets working with Lamar, even though there were rumors earlier (super paper thin, will say) in the draft process . It also appears most other teams around our draft pick have at least met with him at the combine. You’re telling me we haven’t met with him at all and he's a perfect fit for our offense? Speaking of Hack, people say Mac loved him because he was a tall strong armed white guy, but his mental processing abilities were impressive. Guess, what? Lamar's are pretty damn impressive too. And his arm, pretty strong too.
But is he worth the top 3 pick? Yes. He’s gotten injured the fewest of the top 5. His “frail” frame isn’t a valid complaint. RG3 has 10 pounds on him. Muscle mass doesn’t make you less prone to injury (per Mississippi State athletic dept), flexibility however does. And according to his old coach, he was gumby. Also, his pocket presence is one of the most mature in the class hands down. The narrative against him was only because draft guys don’t know where he’d fit. In fact, his stock keeps ‘rising’ (they didn’t know where he’s going because he has no agent tiesand they don’t know where to place him schematically) and Schefter says he sees him going in the first, and it’s not close. Now he’s getting reports about mid picks. He’s shown more dynamic play and mature pocket ability than any of the guys in the draft. If he’s a better 2010 Mike Vick, and Vick was #1, why not Lamar?
Could this be confirmation bias? Certainly. I’ve been on this man’s tip since the end of the college season. I could be painting a magical fairy tale all in my head. Buuuutt, adding all the Bowles quotes together, since our offense is clearly going in a more of a meshed running and passing game, and Bowles thinks an offense designed for a mobile QB would be the team..
Well, we’re a pretty damn good fit.
As a disclaimer, I must say that Mayfield, Darnold, Rosen and even Allen also somewhat fit the in the way we have built the team. That’s why I don’t think Mac or Bowles is lying when the said they have 4 or 5 guys they could take. They are also very capable of thriving on rollouts and have a bit of athletic ability to execute a similar type offense (Rosen will have to play a more pocket west coast game). However, if you want a west coast offense that thrives on utilizing ZBS to get lineman down the field to block and creates a great running game, Lamar fits the scheme the best and will be the most dangerous in our offense. From picking up Crowell (a back that could make quick cuts to maximize the ZBS) to Spencer Long (a O lineman that could do both ZBS and Power Blocking), we’ve made a commitment to our scheme.
One thing's for sure, Bowels says
45:47 ish Bates has a good plan in place to do what we want. Has the staff to do it. Have confidence to execute it.
So whoever we pick, we’ll be in a good spot but don’t flame if it’s Lamar Jackson because that would absolutely be great for us.
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elizabethschoices · 7 years ago
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The Royal Romance, Chapter 6: My Thoughts
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Okay finally getting to it i’m so sorry omfg last Friday I had dinner with the mechanic I’ve been talking about, I worked Saturday and did yard work Sunday, and Monday I can’t even remember why I didn’t get to it, Tuesday my laptop was being weird, and yesterday I FINALLY got to see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 and it was AWESOME!
Alright, still the day of the Derby. We’re walking and talking with Hana and she tells us we’re about to head to some dainty, boring party. Typical, but whatever, hand over the finger foods! Honestly, tea parties aren’t really my thing. No hate, just disinterest. Too dainty for me. I’m the chick that literally stood in the rain just about every day this week as she worked and didn’t even wipe off her glasses.
OMG it’d be funny as shit if it started raining. Make this story interesting and less rom-comey.
(Kinda like how the FBI is now less James-Comey. :P)
What is a tea cozy? According to Hana, it’s like a sweater for a teapot. OH IT’S LIKE WHAT YOU PUT A BEER BOTTLE IN I’M DUMB
Judging by Hana’s story, she was a lonely kid. How sad. Children should have friends and the ability to make such friends. I’d love to have a lifelong friend. Unfortunately for me, I kept moving all over the country.
Hana’s met the Queen before, but doubts she’ll remember her. Oh I so hope she does. I want Hana’s backstory to be some shady shit because I promise you I will flip so quickly to her because the prince is of course lovely and I adore him, and let’s be real, Drake is my salty soulmate, but really neither of the two are truly interesting right now.
Hana’s car pulls up and she’s gone. Maxwell pulls up and we get into the limo, and as usual Bertrand’s stick is a little too far up his ass. Are people truly like this, or is it just in the fiction world? I mean, that mechanic I’m always talking about can be a really grumpy old man, but he’s not always a grump. Of course, whenever I’m around he smiles and is happy, and then when I’m gone (according to my grandpa) he goes right back to being a grump with the realest RBF there is.
Ohh, I wonder if MC has the opposite impact on Bertrand? Like, he’s a cool guy when she isn’t around, but when she is his asshole is suddenly like SHIT GET THE STICK BACK IN HERE and sucks it up real quick.
I apologize for existing. Sometimes.
Hana and I are becoming friends. Bertrand seems to be generally supportive of the ‘alliance’ though I’m cool with her because she’s cool, not because I want to use her or her status. I wonder if Bertrand is lonely at night. You have to be if you’re going to be so jaded.
Today’s goal has to be impressing the Queen, as her opinion or whatever holds the most value. Now I really wish I had that cute outfit on, because this Bluebelle is not cutting it.
Hm, this is kind of a hard question. What she likes could be just too blatantly obvious if we go with that. But just because she hates something doesn’t mean she likes something else. Decisions, decisions... I mean, honestly just tell me both.
I’ll go with what she likes. Maybe (doubtfully) there will be something in common. Though I feel like we’ll relate more on things we hate. I feel like the Queen is kind of like a salty bitch who lives at like a base level of 20% salt.
The Queen likes fashion (we already lose) and a woman with grace and style. I’ve got style, just no money. She also likes Cordonian natives. Maxwell believes we have a natural charm that will make her like us. Bertrand probably doesn’t. Fuck Bertrand.
(Tbh he probably does need a good lay)
Bertrand follows Maxwell’s advice with how to address her. Your Majesty when we first meet, and then ma’am after that. Kay. Important! We can’t forget to stay a step or two behind her when keeping company with her.
Literally who came up with these rules.
Maxwell says she loves to play games and is competitive as hell. It’s on, Queenie. I don’t let anyone win. Best me or git gud.
She mainly is concerned with how the Prince’s bride will care for Cordonia. Valid. So probably don’t put me in charge because I’m more concerned with how adorable Tom Holland is.
One slip-up ruins our reputation, although we’re apparently a mystery woman (literally don’t know how i’m a transparent fuck) and then we’re at the picnic.
MC is impressed by the million-dollar picnic. Bertrand only slightly reprimands us for the comment. I think he’s warming up to us. And then he tells us to go away. Lovely.
We meet up with the other ladies and Hana welcomes us, whereas Olivia absolutely has to open her damn mouth up. She’s the Rocket of this group, only nobody likes her and she likes nobody.
Queen Regina makes her appearance! The chick escorting her is the one Leo dumped, lmao. I think her name was Madeleine?
It is, and Olivia has this habit of being a bitch whilst providing info that I don’t even really need. Anyway, since Leo abdicated, I wonder if she’ll go for the rebound on Bradley. Probably. Because this wasn’t already impossible.
We introduce ourselves to the Queen, and Madeleine apparently was telling the Queen about us. Oh boy. The Queen knows our name and is generally pleasant, at least. She likes what the press has said about us and commends our efforts on a good image. Though she tells us that, as our stupid label is ‘The Mystery Woman’, that as a public servant, we won’t stay a mystery for long.
Great, hard questions. Best quality in a ruler? Personally, I’d say both charisma and a sense of duty. Otherwise you’re a Leo or you’re a Bertrand. But we’ll go with a sense of duty. She likes the answer. I’m glad she’s being honest about how hard this life is. I can only imagine how difficult it is.
She tells us the press is always watching. So no affairs with Drake if we’re with Princey. Well, I don’t plan on being with Bradley, but I’m sure we’ll somehow be chosen anyway.
I believe we can show the people we’re human. No one is constantly big and bad and without feelings. Our people need to know we care.  When you have a country and your people feel like the ones leading don’t give a fuck about you, the people, it’s a nightmare. Of course, this isn’t the angle MC takes and therefore the Queen doesn’t like the answer.
Great, we get to hit colored balls with mallets. I’m ‘bout to play gold, fuck the croquet.
We keep a step behind the Queen, which gives us a point we lost for our answer on the second question she gave us. MC seems to think she was testing us, and I think she was too. I really would like to know what Madeleine has said about us to her.
Aww, Bradley is here! He kisses our knuckles and is looking absolutely delicious in his outfit. As usual, he’s happy to see us. It’s nice to see him again too.
Yep, Madeleine is a suitor. Duh. Why else would she be here? The Queen already knows she has what it takes. Bradley chooses us as his partner in the match! It’s predictable but I’m still happy about it, shut up.
She doesn’t know how to play croquet. HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO PLAY CROQUET.
My MC is an idiot and I’m ready to protest. I know this is for those who really don’t know how to play, but still. Just have Bradley ask if we know how to play. Simple as that.
I don’t know how Bradley can put up with such stupidity from one woman. Yes, the arches are the hoops you hit the ball through. Good. Fucking. Grief.
Gently tap it even though I wanna knock the ball right in Olivia’s face.
So for some reason we found the need to approach our opponents, they have a laugh at our expense, and then the Queen asks us our opinion on governance. Lordy. There wasn’t a better way to write this?
I’m starting to wish I’d gone for the other hat options when it comes to talking to the Queen. IMO, governance is fucking hard and only those who really can do it, should. It’s an art lost on most. Also boring, but tbh, it’s important so you might as well just find the beauty in it whatever way you can.
Queen likes that answer. More points!
Bradley informs us it’s our turn and if we hit the peg in the center, we win the game. Easy. Only if your MC isn’t a dumbass, anyway.
LMAO I AIN’T LETTING THE QUEEN WIN FUCK THAT SHIT IT’S NOT A COMPETITION IF SOMEONE LETS YOU WIN
I TAKE THE WIN MYSELF!
YAAAAAS SHE’S GOT THE TRUE COMPETITIVE SPIRIT!
We passed the Queen’s test! She likes us. She likes that we’re different and while she knows we’ll eventually be on opposing sides, she also knows that we do care and will put our heart into whatever it is that we do.
Man, I am gonna let so many people down when I choose Drake. And believe me, I’m choosing him. I can’t let my salty commoner get away. He’s probably my soulmate.
The Queen is now Outtie 5000 and the rest of us are left to chill out at the tables. Hana approaches Bradley and I, and she seems happy that we won. She’s so nice. Bradley offers for her to take a seat with us and she accepts. Maxwell and Drake (!!! I DIDN’T THINK WE’D SEE HIM THIS CHAPTER) join us as food is being served.
I agree with Drake. Give me a bacon cheeseburger and fries, not rabbit food. And as it turns out, agreeing with Drake is a choice and that choice boosts our relationship with him! See? Soulmates.
Finally, my MC and I have something in common. We like hearty foods. As in, foods that later on in life will give you heart problems. (Jk. No heart attacks pls)
Fuck yeah I think I impressed the Queen. The damn box told me I did. It said ‘Queen Bee’ and everything. Bradley agrees, and then Drake decides he’s done talking about us and wants more food.
Aaaand MC and I are done. A fucking cronut? Naw bitch, we do donuts around here. The rest of the table has no idea what a cronut is, and they’re not going to experience one anytime soon because I am not spending all 16 of my diamonds so these fuckers can have dessert. We’re gonna have dinner at the palace.
We move to the following morning after that and are awoken by Maxwell and Bertrand. And for some reason, she put on her waitress clothes?
Yes, Bertrand, assume my morning grunts were a proper greeting. It seems that stick up his ass is getting slightly loose. Maxwell tells us they found out where the next social event is going to be and if we’re going to go with everyone else, we gotta go. Like, now.
Great, we’re going to see snow. ‘Cause I just love snow.
(Can you guys sense my sarcasm and saltiness all the time? I’m at a base level of 30% salt.)
I’m more of a hot chocolate by the fire kind of girl... (Even though I don’t really like hot drinks.)
This event takes place in Olivia’s home territory. Great. If we’re going to spend time with Bradley, we’re gonna have to beat Olivia ‘at her own game’, as Bertrand puts it.
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And yes, I will be an ice queen because I love the cold, and the snow only to an extent. I like to look at it while it is still pretty. I like to touch it. Really I love it up until it starts to melt. Is that just me?
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