#idk maybe its 11 parts now instead of 9

[count-von-kit]

Also adding to this a meme I once made and sent to my DM in regards to Abel.

OC Origins Tag

Tagged by @ddgraywrites Thanks for tapping me in on this fun game. 👀

Disclaimer: All artwork shown below are from a commissioned piece done by my partner @pookieesukiro. They're not very active on Tumblr, but you can find them on Twitter, IG, and TikTok if you want to check out their work. Same handlename. My partner will be doing all the artwork for this story.

Alright, so. I'm not very good at these, but the more you do the better you get at them, yea? It's easier for me to dissect my OCs' origins into personality and visually, as sometimes they're develop as one or the other first. That said, let's dive in. For the sake of keeping this shorter, I'll only talk about the boys, and not about Abel's family.

WIP: Abel's Youth Tale Project [Sometimes mentioned as Abel's YTP for short.]

Abel Rose

Abel is a very complicated and resilient child of mine who, as a adult of 26, was a very dear character from a TTRPG game I played with some friends back in 2021. [You can find more on it over at @haphazardrolls with links to the campaign VODs as well as some pieces I wrote centered around Abel.] The longer the campaign went on, the more complicated and evolved he became, helping me reestablish my love for writing while realizing he was a bit more than just "some college guy who got killed in a dark alley on his way to get some booze". With a TTRPG, you come to realize that sometimes there's only so much you can fit in with character development, and for little Abel I wanted to further expand on the past for him - why he is who he is when Camp Boolieve came about. I wanted to expand on his quirks, and insecurities. And for that, his story just came naturally over the course of a weekend. Growing up in the 90s and early 00s, I pulled some personal bits from my early childhood and teenage years despite Abel pretty much making himself. He is a child of abuse, depression, and suicidal ideology who deals with a little more than just being an openly bisexual teenage boy in a small town band. So it wasn't inherently trauma dumping, per say. Anyway, Abel in present day is still healing, but Abel in the past [this WIP of his origin and for the sake of this writeblr game] shares a lot of struggles teens in LGBTQIA+ spaces today may be going through. And with him I wanted to share how he pushes himself to constantly evolve into a better person while also showing he's still healing and unlearning things. He's still human. A piece of Abel's origin, which I've pulled from myself, is showing the struggles one can face with mental illness - how tough it is to find the strength to continue existing - how exhausting it can be. Even in our darkest days when we want to give up we can still find that strength to get back up on our feet and push forward into tomorrow. Abel's creation for me is a bit personal, but he is my resilience personified in writing, and because of that I want to make sure his story will see the light of day.

Erik

Oh Erik... He's a bit of a silly bastard, but he serves such an important purpose other than just further proving a long running joke that Abel has it down bad for dumb blonde guys. I don't really think there's much of an origin for Erik other than Abel needed someone to ground him, someone who was always going to be there for him, and someone who was his best friend - maybe just a little bit more. :) Erik comes off as a bit of a hardass who only follows his dick at first, but he shows loyalty and patience when its needed most. He's Abel's most trusted person, and a very critical character. Personality wise, his origin was to be that safe person who helps Abel discover who he is and guide him onto the path of who he will become. For the sake of mental health you can attribute him as being Abel's "go to person", and I think that's probably a better way of putting Erik's origin into light. I might not be doing much service in describing his origin for this game, but I'll just leave a note that his development [at least visually] was loosely inspired by popular blondies like Akihiko from Given, Ryuuji from Persona 5, and Asaichi from The Song of Yoru & Asa.

Dominik

Dominik is by far one of my favorite OCs. Not to push my baby boy Abel aside, but every time I write something for Dom [specifically his banter with Abel] I tell myself, "Folks are going to end up loving this morally grey bastard so much. I can feel it in my bones." Hell, even my partner think he's silly. Inspirationally, there's not much of an origin to Dominik's personality other than I needed someone who was a bit of bastard, morally grey, and someone who, as Abel puts it, "is shady as fuck". Dominik is one of those delightful lads who just sometimes break a fourth wall here and there and you just... don't question it. He's the leader to their little group, and is the little shit who always gets them into trouble. Usually. Visually he was inspired by Davey Havok from AFI. Specifically the era between Black Sails in the Sunset and Sing the Sorrow.

Sergio

There is not a whole lot to my beautiful tall boy other than I needed someone who was the residential band dad, and someone with the patience capable of keeping three idiots in line. Writing a group that's chaotic you need someone who is mature [ok that's subjective, but in the case of my WIP it's true], but also Sergio is someone Abel looks up to a lot. In fact, Abel often goes to him for advice. Sergio is the only one who can drive, and he is the voice of reason. His origin was that I needed someone to balance out Dominik's extreme while also having someone to serve as a role model. He's not Abel's "go to person" when mental health issues arise, but in time he will become that person for him. Inspiration for Sergio visually came mostly from Masaru Ōfuna from HaNaYaMaTa and probably to a lesser extent Neil Peart from RUSH.

To wrap this up, my OCs mostly wrote themselves out in banter that developed in my head. I was lucky with this, because normally I struggle to create characters, but everything in regards to Abel's YTP came very organically. And I think part of that was because this developed during a period where I was constantly thinking about nothing but Abel and fleshing him out.

Anyway, if any folks want to take a stab at the Origin Game themselves, have at it. <3 Thanks for reading.

[ranaiki]

Random Obscure Things You Can’t Do with a Tongue Piercing:

I made this list for fun, but who knows, maybe it’ll be useful for fellow writers or anyone weighing the pros and cons of getting a tongue piercing...

1. Play poison dart frog :(

2. Blow bubbles with bubble gum

3. Lick a beater (doable, but that mfer gets caught on all the prongs)

4. Stick your tongue out at people (normally), or do so without looking like a fool. I used to do it habitually, it was like a whole thing, but it becomes much harder cause you have to allow room for the piercing to pass through your teeth as well, and its much less forgiving than a squishy tongue.

5. Get hairs from your mouth easily? Idk. It gets wrapped around the stem and for some reason they’re just really hard to pull off.

6. Have normal levels of spit. I’ve never in my life had issues with producing too much saliva but I do now. Drooling becomes wayyy too easy and I spit while talking on accident. I don’t think this happens to everyone, but it’s a known thing.

7. Lick/eat popsicles and ice cream bars easily. It can hurt when it gets super cold, and also gets caught on things. This subsides the longer you have it, and might also only apply to people who are more sensitive. Like my teeth? Cannot handle the cold, so naturally my tongue struggles too. Easy way around it - just use your lips instead but it’s still not the same as before (and this doesn’t apply to ice cream biters... you heathens)

8. Keep your tongue in your mouth! (Jokes) It’s addicting to play with, and for someone like me who can’t help but fidget, I often play with the piercing without even noticing.

9. Blow raspberries (might be possible depending on placement)

10. Kiss without it hitting the other persons teeth. It made for a very strange first kiss imo, but it becomes easier with practice.

11. Do tongue tricks.... so sad my skills have gone to waste. Hot dog is about all I can do now, but once upon a time I could do clover, 180°, spoon, and the s-shaped one.

12. Be seen as a prude. A lot of people jump to the dirty side once they see it, but not all!

13. Make the waterdrop sound with your mouth. Another one that’s kind of doable, but really difficult. Used to be able to do it and impress people but alas no longer

14. It can be uncomfortable to lick something solid? Not that you ever do that much anyways... but like, say you lick someone’s arm or a wall or something - it’s much more likely to drag along the surface, and it tugs a little. It doesn’t hurt, just not super comfy. Squishy things are fine tho lol

15. Same idea as no.14, but licking things that aren’t very lickable is also very uncomfortable, even more so than solid things. Like blankets, fabric, paper... you get my drift. And yes, this is tried and tested. You’re welcome.

16. Always be 105% comfortable with the piercing. You get used to it, and barely even notice it most of the time, BUT, and it’s a big but, every once in a while it can feel so overwhelming. Like, if I’m overstimulated, half the time my body pinpoints on it, since its always in my mouth. There have been times I’ve wanted to rip it out because I was so overwhelmed, but of course as soon as I calm down, it feels fine again.

17. Eat super sticky things. It’s fine for the most part, but can get tricky. I have a hard time with Starbursts – they like to wrap around the piercing stem, which is hard to deal with! Jolly Ranchers are also more difficult, as the piercing sticks to the candy and then gets pulled when it moves.

18. More to come!!

[slowpoke272]

“catch-22″ by joseph heller

finished: june 30, 2023

I DID IT, AFTER SEVERAL ATTEMPTS IN MY ADOLESCENCE AND MAYBE 1-2 OTHER TIMES DURING MY TWENTIES, I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO READ THIS BOOK. ooooof, we’ve a lot to unpack here!

idk what it was about starting this book and not being able to keep going. i think my ability to not get through this book was probably one of the biggest indicators that traditional reading, while preferred, was not my most efficient way of capturing books and stories. i’m fine with that now, but it took me a long time and some significant ego death to get here. basically, i loved this book, it’s everything i always wanted from a war novel, it’s satire and whimsy and absurd and unchronological and the characters are not reliable narrators and the novel is relentlessly indirectly addressing so much about america, war, soldiers, and the human condition. all rolled into one book. supremely masterful.

my only criticism about the book is that i think it was too long. i do, however, love the way we were able to get so in depth with all the characters, all the angles that came with their decisions, and it wasn’t just solely focused on “yossarian good guy, we want to bring him home!” but there was so much more to it than that. i think the parts i didn’t particularly care for were the action scenes, but also some of the funniest moments were in there, too. idk, i might have a different opinion on this upon a second read, and this is a novel i’ve had a hardcopy of for years, so i will certainly be reading it again.

i also have to point out the irony of me reading this book right now, just before the 4th of july holiday. other war holidays (memorial day, labor day, veteran’s day {damn we have so many holidays about war and military huh lol}) maybe take a back seat to 4th of july this year, if for no other reason than the fourth falling on a tuesday this year, and therefore providing me a four day weekend instead of the usual three day weekend. as a child, i was a good lil american and would be excited to go see fireworks, we would have pie or whatever, my mom always bought us the newest line of old navy shirts with the american flag plastered all over them. as i grew into my own person and learned what america was really all about, specifically our military operations, i drifted away from this holiday and all its traditions. i don’t fight about it with my parents but it’s sort of like how my husband stopped going to church and his parents had a hard time accepting it at first, but eventually understood that was who he was; i don’t need this holiday and i don’t need to jerk off america. don’t get me wrong, love to all the soldiers and everything, but the principal of the matter is i don’t think anyone should die in war, ever, the fact that war even exists at all is so bizarre and insane to me. humans adapted over millions of years, learned to use tools and the resources available to us, built fires and homes and cities and made social structures and communities... all just to have it blasted away because of greed and racism, basically. tell me any war or “conflict” is about anything else, i dare you. it’s not. it’s always those two, sometimes both.

anyways, i grew up around my parents and my parents’ parents watching M*A*S*H and the like. my grandpa served in the army as well as other family friends and extended family members. near the end of my grandpa’s life, when i had enough curiosity and inquisition to ask about his military life is when he dwindled away to barely even being able to acknowledge it at all... so i never really got anything negative about war or the military, if anything it’s been super glorified throughout my life. queue soldiers coming to high school campuses to recruit, 9/11, and more friends and family joining different branches of the government and it’s been quite a different story. all that is to say that i’ve never felt comfortable with the idea of war, or even organized military, and these days i “celebrate” my long fourth of july weekends with my husband and cats, not seeking out fireworks and not wearing any flags. i think the last time i wore an american flag was when i was 16, i’m ashamed to admit that but it’s true.

catch-22 and joseph heller provides exactly the counterpoints to military operations that we need to hear. unfortunately, like most well-intentioned novels, the people who need to hear these ideas most are the least likely to be exposed or actually think critically about it. they are the next major major majors and will eventually become major major major majors in their obedience and loyalty, unless they get unalived in combat first. i deeply love how some parts of this novel were so whimsy and absurd, but that ending with snowden is gut-wrenching. also the alley scene in italy... with the SA. if you’ve read the book, you know the one. joseph heller is a remarkable author and i would be interested in other works of his but this is definitely an immediate favorite of mine.

the audiobook i borrowed on libby also had an extra 40 minutes of joseph heller reading selections from the novel and maaaaaaaan i wish i could buy this section alone and/or see him perform it with my own eyes. heck, it inspires me to recreate some of his prose and monologues. the back and forth between some of the characters becomes so painstaking that you can’t help but laugh. great book, immediate favorite, can’t wait to read it again and if you are like me and somehow got by 3 decades in life without finishing this book... HERE’S YOUR SIGN.

now i’m gonna reblog a bunch of things that resonated with me, but i know my favorite parts aren’t rebloggable. just read it, guys! for the love of humanity.

rating: 10/10 this deeply resonated with me, i will re-read it again numerous times and recommend it to anyone i know, the story and characters will stick with me forever; crave discussing it all the time and bring it up unprovoked

[cometmystic]

hey!! i dont think youve posted abt this yet so… tell me abt your fav characters!!! :D

im about to ramble and expose some weakpoints on the internet so heres a cut !!! im gonna talk about the three that are in the forefront of my mind at the moment !! maybe this will change if you ask me in a months time,,, maybe not !!! mwah thank you for sending me asks sweetie

lots of history with this girl; soo i found out about her during my first mugen phase ? so like 11-13ish,, there was a genre of character that was modeled to play like smash bros characters, and in looking those up, i found one of this weird woman... hong meiling was her name ? she was related to this weird frog girl whose hat was evil and maybe the mcdonalds song girl ? whatever the case i needed to download her. and i couldnt because the download was down. this sent me uo the wall for several years and implanted her name into my brain,, up until i got into touhou proper thanks to you actually !!

so now im learning about the lore and the characters, and turns out theres more to this meiling than being elusive and pretty !!! so this gloomy, scary place behind one of the touhou worlds most significant battles is guarded by this friendly, easygoing redhead ? and shes fiercely loyal and protective of the mansion as well as gensoukyou, despite being employed by people who almost ate the world right up ? thats so wonderful !! shes so cool !!! and she takes care of flowers, and canonically doesnt like dodging bullets and tries catching them instead, and no one has any idea of what she is...!!!! theres so much to her !!! but most of all, the absolute tragedy of some of her mansionmates getting boatloads of development and lore, while shes,, basically in the same place she started in ? even flan did ! but meiling still gets depicted as just lazying about, despite that trait of hers being in favour of working in the scarlet devil mansion, which people fear and dont visit ? or rather used to... so she should have evolved along with it,, so that sadness also makes me even more attached to her in a way !!

i know shes not the most mistreated character in touhou or anything, far from it since shes a th6 girl and those get Everything and everyone sick of them but... idk !! id love to see more of her shine someday ouo

heres some sprite art i made of her

this character is a whisper in the wind. this character is a shadow in the wall of a cave. this character is the tree that falls with no one to hear. this character isnt real. this character is one of my favourites

like shes drenched, positively oozing with lore and content, and its all so utterly relevant and unique that i cant possibly talk about any of it because i cant be bothered to spoiler tag this,, but like,, reading between the lines of the fiction and uncovering lil things about her and what shes like was the most fun ive had during my dngnrnpa phase, to the point that,, here she is still !! at the tippy top !! and because of things youre intimately familiar with russell, you probably know shes probably gonna stay !! im very sentimental like that

and it wasnt even just lore either, her design kind of instantly drew me to her back when i was part of the original animes speculation circle and,, wow suddenly my sonas attire seems a little um,, familiar doesnt it : ...i promise i had other inspiations for ir too óuo;

heres some pixel art i made of her

finally this girl !! much like is the theme here, some lore to my meeting this one !!! this one predates even meiling, since i think i was 9 or 10,, see there was a broadcast channel here called animax, and its responsible for a lot of my taste even nowadays,, from the name you can guess it broadcast all sorts of dubbed anime all day long, most of which i absolutely should not have been watching at that age, like hellsing and gantz oops... well there was this other one which until like 4 years ago i only had the faintest recollection of,, i think there were demons in it or something,, mostly i remember being infatuated by the blonde girl

well 2018 comes around and the memory of this lady shoots straight into my brain in the middle of a call with you russell, which you might remember ! i describe to you what it looks like and tell you that i think a guy kills her and she has him help kill bad guys or else hell kill him right back ? and you, through intense googling, eventually are able to tell me it was called lunar legend tsukihime. woag ! lore unlocked

i wiki crawl for a while out of curiosity and find out that she has a fighting game that kinda rules, and that everyone hates the anime and you should read the visual novel instead and,, hey were making a visual novel at some point huh russell ? maybe i should study up on this tsukihime thing,, apparently its pretty influential,, and

obviously arcueid is ridiculously charming and fun, and every second with her is a mildly exciting, mildly creepy (fun way) delight, and its hard not to absolutely love her for that alone !! but also like,, much like the love for meiling started like a new phase in my life, arcueid did the same thing, in a very wonderful way ? a phase where were both really into this thing and talking about it so often and making so many new ideas about it together,, were playing higurashi currently and it feels like an extension of this, of her, and like,, its so special

i love what meeting arcueid again after 10 years did for me

heres some pixel art i made of her

and if you stuck with me for this long, heres a lil gift !! a lil happy ending for 13 year old me i suppose !!!

i found her after all ouo

[amphibifish]

okk im answering a maloki 30 questions thing cause…. i need to talk abt it n why not?

1. How did you get into the fandom? I forgot how i initially found maloki, but i remember wanting to get into more norse mythology media after researching the myths for a few months. then i found it and it was the first thing my brain latched onto so now... we're here !!!

2. Favourite character? Oh i dont know.... maybe Heimdall..... just maybe...... and anime!Hel, i don't care for her manga counterpart since they're so diff lol

3. Least favourite character? idk none of them really stick out to me as being awful so much i hate them, theyve all got their charm.. baldr, ig ? i dont care abt him..

4. Favourite series? (Out of the original, Ragnarok or Shin Sekai no Kamigami.) ragnarok or shin sekai. ragnarok i think is fun and shin sekai i like just because it gets really heim centric lol the og series gets on my nerves....... its just sooo bad. its just awful.

5. Favourite case? (Since Matantei Loki doesn't give names to the cases, you can describe the case instead of trying to pinpoint it. However, if you can remember which chapter/episode it came from, that would also be good.) I keep forgetting that this is a detective series, and also i try not to reread the original because it really sucks more than usual imo, so idk

6. Least favourite case? see above

7. Most heartwarming moment? episode 24 of the anime,,, hel's plotline is honestly the most well written out of the entire series..

8. What didn't you like about the series? i have an entire post where i just complain to mutual rosquinn, but basically the many plotholes, the misogyny, the weird relationships that keep getting pushed, the amount of weird comments made abt mayura, the character development for heim in the manga which is basically him getting worse and not acknowledging anything at all in the plot for the sake of being evil... the anime is so much better abt this, but freya had so much potential there that was just lost :/

9. Favourite comic relief character? Freyr & Freya

10. Favourite song from the series? idk i don't pay that much attention to the sound traack

11. Would you like the English translation to cover everything in the Matantei Loki manga canon? The people responsible won't know what you said, but you can still voice your opinion. yes?

12. If they made a movie out of the series what would you like the movie to be about? ragnarok's plotline could work nicely in movie format i think.

13. Who would you most like to meet out of the cast? probably Mayura or Koutaro. being in the presence of some sort of god would have me stressed ok. i think frey and freyja might be chill tho

14. What kind of crossover would you like to happen with Matantei Loki? the tv show supernatural because that would be funny and my friends like spn

15. Do you think the manga will ever cover what happened to Heimdall's right eye? (If you saw only the anime, you can't answer this.) This is explained? I guess showing the actual event, it's very vague on how it really went down.

16. What song do you think suits Matantei Loki best? fighter - jack stauber matches a lot of the chars i think. doesnt necessarily fit though.

17. Manga or anime? If anime, fansub or fandub? Sub or dub? anime, i prefer the eng dub just because i think its funnier lol

18. Do you think Sakura Kinoshita could have added something to make the series (as a whole) better? If so, what could she have added? there's so many things to be fixed this list would go on forever.. as one thing though, i really don't think there should be as many romantic subplots as there is, esp if they're all going to be loki centered. it just gets annoying

19. Favourite quote? Freyr's "Nice one, Heimdall! It might be copyright infringement but it's working!" is very funny to me.

20. Favourite moment in the series? (It can't be the same as no. 7 though.) hard to choose, but maybe the part where its revealed heim got revived to help hel in the anime? or the part where heim almost gets murdered in his sleep i just like seeing heim be evil.

21. Least favourite moment in the series? The part where Narugami tells loki to look at mayura's boobs and generally loki being a freak abt this. This chapter is majority the reason i despise the og series. it is so awful. it makes me throw up. also the part where heim and loki each kiss mayura. literally what. what. what. im going to throw ten million hammers (mjolnirs) at you.

22. Do you think Tactics is better or worse than Matantei Loki? If you don't know about Tactics, which series would you say is similar to Matantei Loki? don't know tactics but in supernatural they;re also hunting creatures and killing them.

23. Despite Matantei Loki being shonen, do you think it would benefit if it were a shojo series? i dont know enough manga/anime terms to answer this ^^''   

24. Do you think Kantarou of Tactics (if you don't know who I'm talking about, Google him) was deliberately made to look like Loki? i don't really see it all that much.

25. If you could add one character to the series, what kind of character would it be? Do you have a name decided for the character - if so, what's their name? i think skathi from the myths would work great as another antagonist, esp. as she is the only other aesir that has the kenning of "loki's foe". (Heim is the other one)

26. Did you even want to learn about Norse mythology after seeing/reading the series? the reverse, I only got into maloki because I like norse mythology.

27. How well do you think Matantei Loki teaches people about Norse mythology? Not at all, but better than other popular media based off of norse mythology (cough cough marvel). I think a lot of its base is pretty accurate though, save a few things here and there (such as heimdall being god of tactics and dawn? straight up wrong and incorrect and false and not true.)

28. Do you think the portrayals of Loki in Marvel Comics/the movie Thor/Norse mythology etc. are incorrect now that you've seen/read Matantei Loki? They're both just diff interpretations and portrayals. I'd say they're equally incorrect but maloki gets extra points for keeping Loki's family tree accurate because that is such a pet peeve of mine.

29. What do you first think of when the name Loki or Thor is mentioned? the guys from the mythology.

30. What do you think the ending will be like? Or do you not want it to end at all? Uhh heim gets his shit rocked and his ass kicked again. iirc odin comes back? don't really know much else but i know loki gets the eye staff at some point, he's the protagonist after all. I reckon baldr gets stopped and the valkeryies are freed. Odin gets placed as king again.

[crescendeyes]

I am grateful for

As we enter the month of July-Aug, I felt like I should really analyse what I am thankful for and count my blessings a little.

I know being critical of yourself is embedded in our DNA to humble ourselves from delusion. There is a beauty in delusion - its either things are SUPER DUPER BAD or FINE AND DANDY.

Being extremely fearful avoidant, I find myself constantly confusing people and myself on the decisions that I make. It is a constant push and pull that I struggle with all my life with a lack of awareness of it's existence.

People with a fearful-avoidant attachment style distrust others and withdraw from relationships in order to avoid rejection. This leads people with a fearful-avoidant attachment to avoid the very relationships they crave.

Struggling to manage this part of my life, I managed to fall into the traps of despair every time I make a decision. They were either too reckless or too careful - never anything in between.

So, in order to re-evaluate the quarter of my life, before I turn 30, I won't be a list of things I want to achieve. Instead, I want to count my blessings and start showing gratitude to myself and my life, including the people who made it possible for these little celebrations.

Set boundaries and realise what my dealbreakers are in a relationship.

Let me explain - in the past, I would fight for a relationship and continue to work on it till there was nothing left behind except resentment. MAYBE, just MAYBE, if Aaron and I didn't breakup the first time around and I didn't have to grow up after the string of bad luck in 2022, I could tolerate and continue to work on relationships like I used to. So, being able to set boundaries and be honest with myself what I want to keep vs don't was the biggest step I took to self love and actualisation.

2. Love someone twice

Some might find this very toxic but if you never try, you'll never know. Hence, no. 1.

3. Performed for a huge festival in the second time of my life

Yes, I performed at Peakstorm Festival to open for Joji. While it may not seem like a feat for most musicians and artist, but it was once in a life time opportunity that I will forever be grateful for.

4. Moved out

I finally did it. There is no way I can describe how lucky I feel to get a place that I only dreamt of getting back in 2020 - and it took 3 years to rent this place. Although, rent is expensive and I am looking for opportunities to move to a new place that would be more affordable. 2024 is a time I wanna focus on growing my wealth and saving money.

5. Travelling with Aaron, meeting each others family, a sense of stability....

It is difficult for me to find stability cause I've never known it all my life. But even for that short period of time, visiting his family and travelling to Taiwan & Phuket, I felt like this is it. He is my forever, and his family and friends LOVE me. Unfortunately, no. 1 was the path I decided to take.

6. Dad

Dad is better now and we are planning to travel to Copenhagen and London together as a family.

7. Mum

Mum is open to the idea of counselling and started to see a therapist after hearing me out. In a way, I'm lucky she was even open to it for assistance. I love her.

8. Miso

Miso was with me since 6 June 2023, she has lived with me for 17 days and she will forever be the best emotional support kitty in my life. I have never had a cat with me before so it was an amazing experience. I will miss her so so dearly <3

9. Fixed my relationship with Cel & Cam

10. I'm travelling again

11. I am not chasing relationships anymore

12. I am in a good stable career

13. I have a manager that trust me and doesn't micro manage me - plus, he kinda has a thing for me or something idk.

14. I got a new tattoo this year so yay

15. Aaron is making tiktok videos of me while I am seemingly unbothered by it

16. I now know Hoeden is not my real friends.

17. I am learning how to swim.

18. I attended Harpreet & Nicole's wedding this year.

19. I ACTUALLY became friends with Aaron Chan? Wow. lol. The universe is weird.

20. I have great friends and made more this year.

21. People LOVE my apartment and they often compliment it hehe

22. Renewed my insurance policy because I can afford it bitches.

So there will be more blessings and I can't count but I always do my best to remember them whole heartedly.

If you read it this far, thank you. I hope this brings you peace.

[moodypetrichorlove]

The Dizi Tag Game

1. Your first dizi & how you discovered Turkish dramas 

The first dizi I ever watched (that was not dubbed and shortened) was Sen Çal Kapımı in 2020. I binged 7 episodes only to discover it was currently on-air, and by then I was hooked so while waiting for episode 8 to air, I started Her Yerde Sen, lol. So, to sum up, SÇK is how I started my dizi adventure, and HYS was the first show I ever watched in its entirety. Both were good decisions. 🤗

Ironically, 2 years later I still haven’t seen Bizim Hikaye which is what I was trying to watch when I came across SÇK’s significantly captivating poster. 

2. Show(s) you’re currently watching 

Ooof, I wasn’t sure I’d watch any new ones, but now I am and it’s too much, but it’s a hyperfixation, so, 🤷‍♀️. Anyway, I’m watching Afili Aşk, Seversin, and, Senden Daha Güzel currently. 🙈 Oh, and Inadına Aşk, which is basically my “I don’t really care about you, and can’t concentrate on shows I watch for fun rn but I’d like some background noise on so you’ll have to do” watch. 😂

3. Your favorite genre of dizi (romcom, mafia show, contemporary drama, historical/fantasy, etc.) 

Romcom (shocker, I know 😱).

4. The show you rewatch (parts of) the most 

Her Yerde Sen, Doğduğun Ev Kaderindir, & Seviyor Sevmiyor.

5. Favorite Turkish actor and actress (feel free to pick multiples) 

Kerem Bürsin, Çağlar Ertuğrul, Engin Öztürk, Burcu Özberk, Elçin Afacan, Demet Özdemir, Yusuf Çim, & Elçin Sangu. 

6. A show you quit before finishing 

Kiralık Aşk, Aşk Yeniden (idk, maybe I’ll watch it completely someday), Gülümse Yeter, and El Kızı.

7. Favorite song(s) you’ve discovered in dizis 

Güneş + Aşk Lazım – Aydilge

Sen Çal Kapımı – Başak Gümülcinelioğlu

Olamazsan Olmaz – Güliz Ayla

Aşk Mı Lazım – Buray

Beni Biraz + Bakma Bana Öyle – Nova Norda

Ne Olur Kal – Tuana

8. The show whose plot disappointed you the most 

Kiralık Aşk. El Kızı. To be fair, each dizi, at some point, disappoints.

9. A show that was cancelled too soon / ran too long - 

I think Iyi Günde Kötü Günde deserved a few more episodes; it had potential. And call me biased, but Ateşböceği was a fairly sweet series and should’ve run longer. 

Kusura bakma, but Kiralık Aşk ran way too long. 

10. Favorite Character(s) 

Serkan Bolat, Barış Tunahan, Kerem Yiğiter, Ayşe Yiğiter, Demir Erendil, İbrahim Tunç (Ibo in HYS), Melo (SÇK), Gölge/Adem (50m2).

11. Your favorite romantic pairing(s) 

Serkan Bolat & Eda Yıldız – Edser

Demir Erendil & Selin Sever – Seldem

Barış Tunahan & Zeynep Göksu – Zeybar

Ozan & Deniz – Bay Yanlış

Kerem & Ayşe Yiğiter – Afili Aşk

12. Favorite side character(s) 

Volkan (Afili Aşk) & Ozan (Bay Yanlış – honestly, liked him more than the male lead), Melo & Fifi (Sen Çal Kapımı), Emine (Doğduğun Ev Kaderindir), and Deniz (Bay Yanlış).

13. Best kiss  

As someone who looks away or skips these scenes 🤷🏻‍♀️🙈, I’ll do my most favourite love confessions from diziland (which, I know, no one asked for) instead. 

This entire scenario, from Serkan chasing after Eda to the actual confession will always be number 1 for me. Always! Serkan’s frustration, exasperated fondness translating into that “deli gibi aşık oldum”? Gold! 😍

Next up are my second most favourite confessions: Kerem’s sweet, wholesome confession with the swan origami and then Ayşe with the angsty reveal in response to Kerem’s confrontation. These two pulled it off so well! ❤️

14. An underrated show more people should watch 

Her Yerde Sen.

Seviyor Sevmiyor (it has moments where you’d be annoyed, but the two mains have really good chemistry and they’ve done angst well). 

Seversin, being a currently on-air show, deserves more attention because it’s a lighthearted watch, even if there’s not much new there – which I believe is the way of dizis lol. Ilayda and Burak are doing a good job, BTW. 

15. A show everyone loves that you aren’t interested in 

Erkenci Kuş.  

16. A show you want to recommend right now 

I’d say watch Seversin, and Senden Daha Güzel. Good shows, good acting, even greater potential. I’d like to see each reach at least 13 episodes before cancellations. 

17. The next show on your list 

I think I need to finish the off-air dizis, like Afili Aşk (and many more), before I watch anything else. 😂

@thescorpioracer tagged me in this ages ago (like last year, perhaps) and I'm embarrassingly late to doing this, but here I am. So, thanks for the tag!

Anyone following me who wants to join in, consider yourself tagged, please!

[probably-haven]

How Visions Work(Theory)

genshin spoilers

there’s a lot of headcanons about the effect of visions on the body temperature of the characters with pyro or cryo visions but a lot of them stop there an i want to propose we take it one step further

so the general agreement is that pyro users run hot and cryo characters run cold but imma take a moment to talk about the science of that real quick.

if something feels warm, its because the object is expelling heat from itself to its outside environment(itself losing warmth) if something feels cold, its because it’s absorbing and taking the heat from the outside environment into itself(itself gaining warmth)

which actually matches up pretty well with how i believe their visions work which ill cover before getting into what i think that means

pyro visions work by absorbing the users body heat and before then expelling it into the environment when they wish to use it. When the vision reaches what is essentially its max storage capacity, it resumes working at normal, absorbing heat from the user until it’s used, but at this point it stabilizes, because the pyro energy built up within begins overflowing into the nearby environment, a majority of it returning to the user to keep their body temperature from getting too dangerously out of wack. But by passing through the vision, the body heat is converted into pyro energy and made more intense, so the surplus tends to linger around the user, hence the heat that can be felt when touching or around them. the user can then use their powers with either the pyro energy stored in the vision, or that which still lingers around them. 

cryo visions on the other hand work in a bit more of a complicated manor. like pyro visions and other visions, most of the energy that they get is from interaction with the user, in this instance, steadily taking heat from the environment that would have naturally have been observed by the vision had it been any other inanimate object and passing in through the vision and into the user, the process creating of the heat leaving the vision creating cryo energy, a sort of anti-heat vaccuum-like substance, which once it reaches it’s max, overflows in a way similar to the pyro vision, leaking into the nearby environment, helping to balance the user’s body temperature while the remainder lingers around them, absorbing heat from the environment. the user can then use the energy stored in the vision(less than pyro because more steps means less room) or that which still lingers around them (more because less room means more over flow), plus they need more surplus in order to balance cuz their temperature is more volatile

visions do however possess the ability to begin expelling energy early should the user’s body temperature become too dangerous, an ability that is missing from delusions of the corresponding element

-

this leads me to have a few headcanons that i really like because im obsessed with angst

1. contrary to what you might believe, after using a significant amount of their powers, Pyro users are are absolutely cold to the touch(cuz the lack of surplus energy leaves nothing to disguise or raise their low body temperature as the constantly absorbing heat to refuel) and Cryo users feel hot (the lack of surplus energy doing nothing to disguise or lower their high body temperature as the vision is constantly having to expel surrounding heat into the user in order to refuel cryo energy)

2. however during this state they are also the least likely to leave behind traces of elemental energy(like those that can be seen with elemental sight) 

3. this cycling of energy actually makes a vision behave more like a part of the user that also serves its own role in maintaining homeostasis (makes it so losing a vision is quite literally comparable to losing an organ)

4. until the vision has enough stored energy for surplus to linger, Cryo users are prone to over heating and Pyro users are prone to the opposite

5. this rapid and common changing of internal body temperature also tends to weaken their immune systems

6. the lingering surplus of energy is also more easy to manipulate than the stored energy, so while it lingers, it has a tendency to be easily influenced by the user’s emotions. 

7. yes this means accidentally freezing and setting things on fire during emotional extremes, or more subtle effects for those that are less extreme

8. in dragonspine, Cyro users are actually weaker but healthier. The lack of heat to cycle through their vision and body means less cryo energy is created, but less heat is there to build up in their bodies

9. Pyro users on the other hand- are in real big danger, unless they made sure to have large amounts of elemental energy before hand. They take longer at the torches they like because they need every bit of heat to raise their naturally low temperature and to make more pyro energy to both light the next torch, and to constantly have enough surplus that it doesn’t just steadily drain all the pyro they have. 

10. a lot of the pyro users are overly energetic and active and move around alot, which is known to raise body temperature, and whould help with this, then there’s hu tao who while energetic is not all that active, but i think her job of “guarding the border” makes her more tolerant of the low body temperature. similar to yanfei’s constitution as an adeptus. Bennet is energetic but doesn’t move around quite as much and all, but... his luck is bad enough that he just thinks everyone feels like/has to deal with that. and Diluc- we’ve all seen the fluffy jacket. Klee constantly setting grass on fire and otherwise being hyper. Amber, gliding champion of mondstad, “i feel like running” Amber. Yoimiya is pretty active and works around fire. I dont have Xinyan so i dont know for sure in her case but i assume it fits the bill. 

11. as for cryo characters- Qiqi is a zombie and Ganyu is half adeptus, different constitution. A lot of the characters are or try to be more calm and level headed, known for being kind of “slackers” to use kaeya’s words, though by this i mean they dont do excessive physical activity outside of training and that which is necessary. Diona is a bartender, often staying in one place, the opposite of pyro, keeping her body temperature down. Ayaka rarely leaves the kamisato estate. Chongyun is complicated- more on him later. Rosaria known for shirking her church duties and being basically lazy, the same as Kaeya. And Eula- i actually dont have an explanation- maybe just... the training to endure- like that one test where you have to walk through dragonspine all fancy without being thrown off. 

now as for Chongyun

him with his popsicles and yang energy, needing to maintain a cool body temperature at all times as a result of his constitution 

i mentioned a failsafe of visions, where should their users’ body temperature lean to dangerously to any one extreme, the vision will begin releasing the stored elemental energy early.

Chongyun’s however doesn’t store energy at all, instead immediately expelling all cryo energy it makes as soon as it forms so it can immediately absorb any dangerous body heat that Chongyun was exposed to in it’s making. This means that the surplus energy(the type more likely to be accidentally manipulated by emotions) around Chongyun is more than most other cryo users would have.

however, the balance is really fragile because his temperature is kept from getting out of hand almost entirely by his vision so external factors are extremely dangerous, as there is a still a cooldown between the transfer of heat the release of cryo energy- so unexpected sources of heat can cause a rapid rise in already fragile temperature that runs its course and wreaks havoc on the childe before the cryo energy is able to balance it out- and the problem is- with the surplus being easily manipulated by emotions, the sudden rise in temperature has a tendency to activate it, using it up and leaving him without a source of temperature regulation, which only worsens the problem. at which point the vision probably begins storing cryo energy until theres enough built up to reset his body temperature in one go- which usually ends with him passed out.

anyways i had a lot more planned to write but if i kept going i fear how long it’d get- i just think it has potential to evolve into a lot of cool things and theories for how the world works, and reflect the archons..... let me explain that-

so assuming anemo energy is created bey absorbing and then renewing the oxygen in the user’s blood, as opposed to dangerous body temperatures, it tends to have an anemic affect on their wielders, hence why all the anemo vision users have this tired air to them, Xiao’s... Xiao-ness- he just looks exhausted, Jean’s constant exhaustion that totally isnt made any better by her workload, Kazuha’s general calm relaxed disposition, and sucrose’s general demeanor- idk i just think anemo vision wielders give off anemic vibes, until they have enough surplus for the taken oxygen to replenish

except for venti- who doesn’t actually use a vision, who is literally a wind sprite, made of air- always running around and being all energetic- because he doesn’t face these problems- if anything he has extra energy and air to use. He’s basically the opposite. (windrise may have some weight in this-)

which means other archons may model this-

im not sure about geo but with electro

assuming that the constant transfer of electricity through the user’s body would eventually have a frying effect that shortens their lifespan over time(an idea largely inspired by Lisa’s voice line on visions and other theories on it) then Baal’s steady eternity serves as another opposite to this and yet pursuing eternity it becomes odd that she would give visions at all, so i feel archons must get some benefit from giving visions or she wouldn’t have done it-

but anyways imma stop now- hopefully someone found this interesting and runs with it, but if not it makes sense too

... actually geo might have something to do with an erosion-like metaphor, similar to what was brought up in the azdaha fight

still thinking about hydro tho, and im not even gonna bother with dendro

....

..... can you tell that I kin Sucrose and Albedo yet? It’s not even funny istg it’s becoming a problem .... actually scratch that i have a dark sense of humor, its kinda pretty funny

[antiloreolympus]

12 Anti LO Asks

1. arent some of the copies of that lo book upwards of $40 dollars if not more? like bare minimum ive seen it at least $20 even for the paperback but it goes way up for the hardcovers (tho the second vol already had a pretty massive markdown by what i saw on amazon which was ... weird). wt readers flip out over paying a few cents for fast pass, why would they buy the same thing they already read for free for a much higher price thats not even formatted correctly and kept all the typos?

2. i swear LO is making me into a pearl clutching nun. I get its trying to be ~pro sexuality~ or whatever but its so hamfisted in trying to do so and everyone and everything is so horny for??? reasons?? like no one talks or acts like this.

3. the way rachel "designs" characters deadass looks like how NFTs work. she just uses the same template and changes one or two things and calls its unique.

4. Does anyone know a comic where Persephone ACTUALLY chooses to go to the Underworld? Because LO and Ficlets still has her be kidnapped and Punderworld has it just be an accident she ended up there.

5. i think whats annoying me too about all these flashbacks is that im not sure whats actually true?? which i think is maybe the point but even when we see it from h or p's POV it comes across as the worst option? like helios' version actually made persephone look better than reality, hermes' flashback gave her personality and set their relationship better, meanwhile we get it from hxp and hades is just a neglectful ass to a literal child meanwhile persephone just looks like an idiot? like?? 💀

6. The biggest thing to me is these ancient stories don't belong to us, and modern "retellings" are not the "natural progression" of mythology, it's just people taking known stories and more often than not just making fanfic with the creator's biases. LO is allowed to exist, but Rachel is not "keeping the mythology alive" or "adding to the canon" as her fans claim. LO doesn't even fit a loose retelling, and it is not nor will ever be as legitimate as the actual texts. Sorry to be harsh but 🤷🏿

7. The way my skin crawled at the Niobe part… that’s so dumb if RS wants to portray Artemis as good and Apollo as bad why would you choose that myth like 😭 “hey Artemis only killed 6 instead of 7 like her awful brother” how does that even make sense??? Also ofc cutting so much of the original myth like-

From OP: Yeah, it doesn’t even make sense because we hear Leto is a sun goddess in LO but not the goddess of motherhood.

8. i dont get why all of a sudden now persephone wants to be queen? off of what? first its set up on she had goals to get her degree and have freedom, but now she just wants to be his wife? why? second, even her idea of making elysium is just her trying to relive her own guilt, not that she actually cares about the dead. her motives are out of nowhere and purely selfish, which the latter would be fine if LO didnt set up one set of goals but drop them to be hades' wife instead with no reasoning.

9. i think the biggest issue with this trial plot line is one) so dragged out, who cares, but two: hades is both leading up and during this whole thing has been so cartoonishly awful that i dont even care if he points out something right. a broken clock is also right twice a day, but that doesnt mean it still isnt broken. not to mention its very easy to make him look "right" when rachel purposely makes everyone else so irrational/wrong that he looks correct in comparison. that isnt a win, actually.

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

10. FP SPOILERS// Hades basically tells Persephone that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in reaction to learning about her sexual assault and that really rubs me the wrong way because that kind of trauma doesn't make a person stronger, it damages you and as you heal you become stronger in spite of what happened so idk that whole diamond pep talk just irked me idk if anyone else feels the same way

11. Fp) Helios (thought it was Hera at first lol) she gives you HOMEMADE birthday cards as a bribe each year how dare you report a homicide she committed... Of course now we will get to know the real story is completely different and Perse is an angel who allowed those poor mortals to duebabd Minthe co. are such a horrible people for lying. She can't do anything wrong. Also, seriously? Russell? Such a Greek sounding name again.

12. I shouldn't be as annoyed as I am that episode 184 was basically more pointless stalling, it's honestly just a trend at this point. Is it bad that I actually laughed when Helios told Persephone that her birthday cards ain't shit? The way she actually tried to guilt-trip him for reporting her murdering people by saying "bUt I mAdE you Birthday Cards!!11" and him njust not having that shit. Beautiful. Also, as much as I was never a fan of Smythe's demonizing of Apollo, I'm not sure I like the direction she seems to go in now, namely the implication that Apollo's predatory behavior is really all Leto's fault because she encouraged it. It's yet another female character Smythe villainized just so Persephone could be the most perfect woman of them all in contrast to all these manipulative harpys on Olympus.

[hexihertzgameart]

Finger slipped. Also láveles 10 as nine so now there’s 3 nines. Yay :D To continue:

9. GPS, why is there a fucking rant about GPS and what does this have to do with art. Did he just forget the topic?

11. Canon stuff as mentioned in above posts. Also feels half remembered from Jordan Peterson with his weird “all good art must tell one story over and over and to do otherwise is a sin” theory of art, which is lifted from Josh Cambells Monomyth

12. Values, can’t argue more then what’s said. I wonder what values they’re specifically talking about. Is it Christian and or White Values perchance or are we talking more ��Western Values” or “Judeo-Christian” Values? The difference is only in semantics but still.

13. Aww looks like someone’s got a thesaurus out. Also good sign of a reasonable person when someone believes something they find bad “enfeebles (weakens) life

14. Again more old lines about modern art with a hint of Cultural Marxism in there. Additionally beauty can mean absolutely fucking anything, though I think he just means traditionalist somewhat fascistic imagery or something. Maybe the odd pretty white statue or something generically artsy.

To use a modern art example because when he says bad he’s almost always referring to modern art, Weiwei’s Subflower seeds are a genuinely beautiful work of art across all aspects of its design. I can go more into it if y’all want but in short every aspect of the titular ceramic seeds is deliberately done for the theme to the point where the history of the town the ceramic seeds were made in is a key element of the work. The amount of care and dedication that goes into it alongside its how it benefits the place show a belief a in and desire to produce beauty”

15. As said by basically everyone, “Man’s Divine Right and Terrible Duty” is obviously some major red flags (with a white circle and a manji in the middle), which is in contrast to (ironically) more whining about modern art/ woke media or whatever he’s on about.

As such, I will instead pose my conclusion here. Is it just me or does this guy make no sense? Like you can get the gist that he’s a fascist just because of the aesthetic moralism (I think that’s what it’s called) of the good art bad art chart but does he even know what he’s saying. Half the shit is either so above reasonable thought, vaguely parroting talking points about art and/or cultural Marxism esque shit or specific about something unrelated (like bulletproof coffee or GPSs) that when read individually many of the points end absolutely incoherent.

I would like to however point out a hidden peice of genius beyond what he is describing:

Makes you feel weird: ☑️ (see all reactions here)

Saps Energy: ☑️ (the energy wasted writing this€

Downward Spiral: ☑️ (again, writing this)

Confuses the Mind: ☑️ (see above)

Causes Stagnation: ☑️ (it’s literally about preserving the old concept of art and not progressing. If that isn’t stagnantion idk what is)

Weed: ☑️ (Sounds like One doesn’t he?)

Unstructured and Obsessively Anti Rythm: ☑️ (see the random GPS rant)

Recognised as a Scam: ☑️ (recognised as something for sure)

A Malevolently Bad Map: ☑️ (in a sense that’s what this is, it’s, a badly written map for finding good and bad art )

Obfuscation, Lies, Resentment: ☑️ (I can see this guy believing this shot unironically so technically the later two aren’t as prominent, but you don’t make this without resentment)

Wishes to destroy the canon: ☑️ ( he is trying to destroy the parts he doesn’t like through an objective labelling of bad art€

Mocks the concept of Values: ☑️(other then his own, yes, though this one’s debatable)

Enfeebles life: ☑️

Spits on Beauty and Actively Celebrates Uglyness: ☑️ (definitely in its labelling of huge concepts as actively bad, and I’m sure many of the works that he considers good have elements which falls into these concepts, therefore actively celebrating uglyness)

And thus bad art is

“Whining” ✅

“Coping” ✅

“Seething” ✅

“Waste of time” ✅

HE DID IT. HE DID A BAD ART ABOUT BAD ART. BY HIS OWN FUCKING DEFINITION. Even if I wasn’t being funny that would be like 12/15.

Also as a Christmas gift here’s 3 of my favourite artworks I referenced in the piece.

Andy Warhol - Hammer and Sickle Portraits

Deliberately Invoking communist symbology of the hammer and sickle without the meaning. Warhol makes one question their own instinctual meanings towards objects. As he states, they’re just a friends garden tools, but because of the symbolism surrounding these items we picture them as so much more. As such, it is mocking the symbol as both a symbol of the ideology and as a symbol of fear. Warhol’s work in a lot of ways is ultimately about questioning our associations with celebrity and symbols of consumerism and violence, presenting them in often garish colours as a way of altering them.

This is fortunately the only one I have an original photo of. I was at the Warhol exhibit in Dublin recently. This one iirc was presented alongside his pictures of an electric chair in the gallery. That visit is also something I could go into more

Ai Weiwei - Sunflower Seeds

Originally presented as a massive room with a floor of ceramic seeds in the state Art Gallery. The seeds themselves were made in a town called Jingdezhen, whose economy historically was reliant on making porcelain for the Chinese imperial family. Since the end of the empire, the town has been in decline for roughly a century. In that regard, the piece brings their communities legacy as artists back, and provided income and a renewed community spirit to the town. The seeds themselves, all individually hand crafted, represent mainly the depersonalisation of Chinese authoritarianism, though it also represents our collective power to overthrow such authorities through numbers (as sunflowers, to Weiwei personally, represent a tasty treat, alongside hope) (also of note Sunflower imagery was big in Maoist propaganda, with Mao being the Sun, which is also part of the peice’s multi layered metaphor)

Francisco Goya The 3rd of May, 1808.

Seen as the dawn of modern art, the 3rd of May depicts the execution of suspected Spanish Rebells at the hands of French Soldiers. Colour and posing is used to invoke Christ in the presentation of the man currently being shot, presenting him as a beacon of light being executed by an imperialist force. This image of it is from Wikipedia. Also in looking for his name I realised he’s also the one behind Saturn Devouring his only son

Tag yourself as this list of “bad art” features, according to a twitter fascist

[armillary-spheres-lover]

SP/so vs SO/sx

Not sure how much this can be generalized since it's only my personal experience. When I was a pre-teen my best friend used to be a so/sx 6w7, while I am 9w1 sp/so. Sp dom vs Sp blind... some stuff went down and it’s fascinating to analyze such differences to me (I feel like I'm fascinated by sp blinds in general wtf).

She was the V immature of the pair, throwing herself in any possible weird experience she could have just for the sake of it. She would always cause so much drama it was legit concerning and I always was on the sidelines, not participating and sometimes suggesting her to stop, but did she listen to me? Never, and also, in some ways, I think I did in fact understand her desire to feel alive and feel stuff and do dumb stuff, possibly in that I am sx-blind and I won't fucking allow myself to do that, while she totally did. I guess, I don't usually pay any mind to my sx-blindness but the only time that it kind of felt like I was missing on something was when I would spend time with her? And also now that I'm actually studying the instictual variants I guess I'm starting to realize it (but also not really there's a shit ton of work to do). She would always act as if she was the protagonist of some weird 19th romantic novel but, make it dumber (we were 11-12 after all, how smart could we be?).

I deeply, deeply understand her need and wish to be like a novel protagonist. I do think of myself in that way quite often. But while she did it by acting and getting actively involved in stuff, I’ve always done the same by hyper-interpreting my simpler, more boring experiences (9 basic bitch here, feeling attached to something while being withdrawn and out of touch with your body results in amazing fantasy sky castles). She was never satisfied by this.

If she wanted intensity, she would create it by idk, doing some dumb stuff she would for sure later regret. While she went on to feel so alive, I would stay in the back overthinking my more boring life. An example would be that while she actually acted so that everyone around us hated her and shunned her, I would simply feel and think I was being shunned as well, but in practice I would never do something that would elicit a strong reaction out of others. I basically fantasized about it. As you can tell her being a Social Dominant I guess she got the sx juice she wanted through social stuff (her reputation, going against the social system (social 6s often do that)).

In so many ways, if I were to simplify it, she was a mixture of Dorian Gray and Heathcliff and I was Des Esseintes. She was an edgier version of Dorian Gray, wanting to experience everything but make it dark and painful and tormented (a là Heathcliff), not once holding herself back. Des Esseintes, on the other hand, would also feel like a misfit and a tormented soul but he did so by staying inside his house and hyper-interpreting his experiences to an insane degree, until he basically starts to hallucinate. He barely goes outside of his home and when he does everything seems weird, scary, magical in its own way, and while a bit creepy that’s also part of being sx-blind I think? You secretly want that way of feeling alive via the dark things in life (not sure if my fixes have a part in this as idk other 9s may not relate to this maybe) but also you want to go about it safely (sp) and by not exposing yourself (9), so it becomes like wearing a pair of glasses that adds a layer of poetry and beauty and suffering to an otherwise normal, boring and inane reality (again, 9 fantasy shit). But that’s about it. It’s a magical pair of glasses that at times I feel like I can remove and put on at will when I’m bored and I feel like I want more out of life. Outsourcing sx if you will w/o ever acting on this shit. I relate to Des Esseintes even though he was possibly a sp 4 but whatever I guess...

My old friend, being sp-blind, of course did not feel the same need for “safety” and had nothing to hold her back, really... the 6w7 sp blind brings a lot of energy and a way to never be able to fucking stand still, so yeah... it was so fascinating to see her act that differently from me, but also empathizing with her desire to get MORE out of life and dive into the darker aspects of it. I guess that’s why I sticked with her even when I thought she was being unreasonable and annoyingly melodramatic. Most people would shun her and don’t get her ways and while I can’t say that I got her, I would at least sympathise with her wish to experience more and be dramatic, even if I couldn’t quite elaborate it at the time and I superficially thought she was being too immature (this is so funny, we were fucking 10 and we were already doing instictual stuff with me acting like the adult one idk. Also w1 may play a part in this shit. Me being sp dom felt like I was supposed to check on her but also I didn't really do it because it was fun to tag along with her dumb stuff). But while she had the courage(?) to act on such a wish, I did not - I never had it, and instead compensated by having an hyperactive mental landscape...

There was a Wilde’s quote that went like, “the artist always represents what they themselves cannot live and experience”, or whatever, and I’ve always related to it way too deeply, lmao. I would represent, think, imagine, write the stories, and instead she would actively live them. Also Wilde was a so/sx so I guess that means something

While I may be bitter, because even as a sx-blind I at times feel....... like I want to live and get involved in stuff more? also I guess 9s have a way to dissociate with their life quite easily so that doesn't help (a sx-blind 7 would probably feel like they're getting involved more). Plus possibly having a 5fix makes it worse? it kind of sucks tbfh. Like it feels I've been dissociated since I was 4 yo and never got back to actual earth wtf. 95x sp/so may be the most fucking boring thing on earth + it may bring a neurotic need to keep your little bubble untouched by real life and finding security in that bubble, to the point that you're actually missing out. Idk. I may *do* stuff to make me feel like I'm going around with people more but it doesn't really affect me that deeply so yeah... fuck all of this. It's not even the same as being stuck in your comfort zone? I guess it is but again I may at times challenge myself in some small ways and have new experiences but it's like nothing really reaches me idk.

Again, I usually prefer to go about stuff safely (aka not disrupting my little bubble too much), and in this way, I’ve always had way less regrets than her - so in this, I’m actually fine with my way of playing it safe. I like letting myself wear that pair of glasses when I feel like it and call it a day. I’ve always been content with very little...

Though honestly I’ve not been hanging out with her in years (at least 8 years, wow) and while I do hear from her I can’t say I can get to see how much she’s changed, lol

It was weird, you’d expect that with such a melodramatic friend the break up would be at least as dramatic, instead it has been quite the opposite - we simply slowly stopped reaching out to each other once we had nothing much in common anymore, and something else going on with our lives, lmao...

Also I mistyped her as a 4w3 in the past but it's so funny I got that little about the enneagram and IVs and somehow got her IV right at first try wtf I guess she's just that obvious

[bixqueen]

supercorptober (supercorp october writing prompt)

i stumbled upon this prompt on AO3 a year after this happened lol but i’m wondering if we’re doing it again this year. and if someone makes a 31-day prompt list or we come up with it all ourselves? anyways, i’m interested in participating this year (hopefully although college decision process is a lot) and seeing how supergirl goes starting in august maybe it’ll help us with the pain lol

31 days

no.1:

- lena doesn’t understand how her friend can be eating an ice cream cone in the middle of fall while she’s freezing, yet she finds it cute and kara just doesn’t know why she’s blushing

no.2:

- sam and alex force lena and kara on a blind date

- they’re best friends

- they both think they’ve been stood up and sam and alex are screaming inside watching this happen

no.3:

- its karas first time at a high school party and she spots a special someone she is very into

- 5 mins in heaven or spin the bottle

no.4:

- kara and lena are both single and attend homecoming only to fall into each other’s arms (literally or metaphorically)

- can be at the game or the dance

no.5:

- baking and making a mess only for alex to walk in on them making out then begins cussing as she leaves

no.6:

- halloween themed game night with all their friends trying to get them to realize they love each other

no.7:

- first sleepover at Danver’s house

- kara and lena are freshman besties and decide to have a movie night and sleepover (ofc they make out DUH)

no.8:

- engagement (proposal) party with the superfriends being exposed for betting on the relationship

no.9:

- protective kara while lena works with DEO on serious (dangerous ofc) case

- nobody gets why supergirl is so worried

no.10:

- the way the ending of the 100th episode could’ve gone (GO WILD lol)

no.11:

- ice skating and hot cocoa days !!

- kara and lena go ice skating and casually fall on top of each other any chance they get then go back to karas for some cocoa and do some more falling on top of each other…

no.12:

- a flight with supergirl while lena is all bundled up and cozy on a fall night

no.13:

- visiting krypton and learning about their fall customs (/halloween idk if they do that most likely not)

- kara introducing lena to her parents

no.14:

- teaming up for a not so serious mission only to be scolded by j’on and alex ofc (be silly with this)

no.15:

- what really happens before a soccer game and your girlfriend shows up early to show support…hmm

- or lena pulls kara aside during their group warmups and have fun before the game

no.16:

- an accidental slip-up in front of lenas coworkers happen of her and supergirl kissing (though they don’t know it’s the same person)

no.17:

- moving in together after dating for a while but they don’t get to do much unpacking once one of them finds a movie (halloween one) only to find out the other hasn’t seen it

no.18:

- who you gonna call? SUPERGIRL!

- or lena doesn’t really need any rescuing, she just likes being held in karas strong and secure arms

no.19:

- supercorps child first halloween

no.20:

- elementary school kara doesn’t know anything about love until she spots an adorable black-haired girl and can’t stop thinking about her

no.21:

- they’re at a bar and kara accidentally spills a drink all over lenas clothes (expensive) and instead of being pissed she knows a way kara can make it up to her

no.22:

- kara and lena happen to be put together for some science project and that hatred that was once there slowly dissolves into something else

no.23:

- “what do you mean you don’t go trick or treating?”

- “well kara, we are in high school now. don’t you think it’s a bit odd to dress up and beg others for candy? i can buy you some at the store.”

- “yeah but that’s not as fun,” the blonde girl whines in an attempt to make the shorter girl put on her (_) costume and tag along.

- or lena doesn’t want to go trick or treating with kara, alex, and sam but gets guilted into it

no.24:

- lena and kara agree to babysit ruby one night and against their better knowledge they let her watch a movie that’s probably too scary for her (as well as them)

- supercorp cuddles

no.25:

- kara reveals she has a special surprise for her best friend lena

- she gives her a clue everyday going into halloween and her friend must figure it out in order for it to be revealed (this can be like some fluff love confession thing that takes lena until the very last day to figure out bc she’s a useless lesbian)

no.26:

- school trip to a museum (science or art) and the two best friends (who are hopelessly in love with each other) find any moment to slip their hands together and run off for a few moments

no.27:

- lena travels to ireland in hopes of discovering what really happened to her mother while kara stays in national city but keeps tails on lenas heartbeat and whereabouts. she ends up flying there once a day to be there physically and they both end up going to THE river/lake (they’re either together or just friends in this)

no.28:

- lena walks into her office only to find her best friend struggling to catch a puppy she brought (named pumpkin hehe) as a halloween surprise gift

no.29:

- lena knocks on the door of her best friends house begging to build a snowman in the middle of the night since she can’t sleep and seems to (for some reason) find comfort in those ocean blue eyes

no.30:

- alex gets tired of hearing kara complain about how much she likes lena but doesn’t know what to do so she decides to ask lena out from karas phone

- lena agrees and kara still doesn’t know what’s going on until after the “date” and she sees her messages. let’s say she’s not that mad at alex

no.31:

- lena has been missing for 3 days now and even the super can’t seem to find her. until she picks up on certain hints around the city and finds that she’s been captured by lex (i’m bad at horrors lol this is me trying)

I began this idea process back in like mid-june but i thought this might be really fun! we don’t know how this season will end but i thought we can at least have some happiness during it lol. anyways, it’s officially autumn so i finally got to post and it’s in a month advance which is nice! so repost and comment if you want to take part. i think it’ll be in A03 again but im super excited for this!

[elizabethrobertajones]

Hello there. I have a question (more like a thesis): What would have happened if Cas told the Truth anywhere between season 7 and 15? Do you think it would have had the same impact on Dean? Logically speaking Cas could have told him anytime.

Oh gosh, yes. I mean Dean’s reaction in season 15 is still the best it could have been really :P He was in the best place and most accepting of himself and he still had a BSOD for a moment and then Cas had to shove him away so he could go die... (Assuming you take the on screen boring presentation of what happened as canon and not throw in the reciprocation, tears, pull in for a kiss, etc that we know exists either in our hearts or on Jackles’ phone.)

I’ve been thinking about this and the parameters we’d have to apply if we were gonna get something like the show being self-healing back to its self as we know it but we were allowed a confession. Also the show has to be as punishing as ever. So these are my personal theses on each season... 

Season 7 the confession would have to be after Cas comes back, and everything in 7x17 that looked like Dean was jealous of Daphne and Meg textually was meant to be read that way in the set up for the confession. To make it the most painful obviously we still get Cas exactly as he was all through to the end of the season and he never really says anything too different but then right when they’re having the “cursed or not” discussion he’d bust out of nowhere that he supposes it is inevitable Dean would talk him into going on this dangerous mission to get Dick because obviously Cas loves him. And Dean, who is in a weirdly zen sort of place in the remaining minutes of season 7 after Bobby’s send off and final words that helped him go make up with Cas, is in a similarly season 15 oddly okay spot, mental health wise. At least. COMPARED TO ALL THE REST OF SEASON 7. But I still personally have always read it as a genuinely good place for him that could have endured much longer if not for *gestures everything that happened after stabbing Dick* and obviously making up with Cas was step one and a huge part of his process. 

(idk if you’ve noticed but 7x23 pretty much has no Sam and Dean interaction after Bobby’s send off, and their last good broments are really scarce; it feels sort of natural for abrupt calamity and no time for teary farewells in a season with a strong commentary on grief, which also hyperfocuses the attention on Dean n Cas there.)

So I think Dean would maybe be stunned but maybe quirk a sceptical smile like “He can’t mean it like that and anyway he’s currently coo-coo, this doesn’t mean anything hahaha oh Cas :)))” and then idk shake his head and move the story on and Cas just turns one longing look after him like “dammit that didn’t work out like planned” 

Anyway then the exact plot beats of 7x23 follow, exactly as seen on your screens, but we’re left going into season 8 and Carver era with Dean far far more messed up about Cas and it can force clarification in 8x02 in Purgatory where Cas is entirely adamant he meant what he meant and furious at Dean for being mad at him and Dean’s mad at Cas for all the season 8 reasons so they continue angsting at each other but Benny’s reaction shots are just 10x funnier. This is followed by Dean’s reciprocation of “I love you” instead of “I need you” in the crypt scene in 8x17 and from there honestly it’s been built up into canon in such a way that the emotional arc of the show has to go off the wheels and I can’t keep to the self-healing model to continue following the “real” plot and contain this much raw power.

Coincidentally, if the first confession is in season 8, it would be “what broke the connection” after a season 8 where nothing was different up until that point. Cas flaps off while Dean is still processing that the answer was “You. I love you.” and Dean is left yelling at the empty crypt like “What the hell, Cas?!” 

Then he’s as mad at him as he was in canon except instead of being borderline a really bad overreaction into his anger phase which we have to weather as miserable fans tethered to this ship who know sometimes Dean gets mad and yells at Cas for no reason, he’s reacting proportionately. It’s always seemed like 8x22 only makes sense if Dean is furious at Cas for confessing and fleeing except, obviously, in our “”real”” canon, it can only be like Cas confessed and Dean took it that way and also felt embarrassed how far he went with his own feelings only for Cas to run. 

This would make the bar scene with the cupids in 8x23 make a lot more sense too, and after they get the cupid bow Dean’s going to turn to Cas and give him a nervous smile, and then - Naomi flaps in like she does and distracts them away from reciprocation. 

I think this one could go long - maybe even season 13 Cas being dead and Dean being like “FUCK I never got a chance to work things out with him” and 13x06 onwards is where we get any actual work on the ship, because Carver era was so determined to be emotionally gruelling and unsatisfying and relentless from one issue to the next. And the confessions are so bound up specifically in the moments of miscommunication or failed attempts, cut off conversations etc that whether Destiel is canon or not, they’re never gonna get to talk it out under those conditions. Cas is only explicitly the grieving wife and jealous ex to Crowley’s smug take over of Dean’s affections rather than subtextually. 

The season 9 confession... I feel like we’d come perilously close to the Monkey Paw curse we once envisioned of Buckleming making it canon because they love jumping the gun on plot points and making them too obvious. So the end of 9x03, Cas is really blatantly angling to come in with a big “Hey I’m human can I live in the Bunker look at me I learned to do The Sex can we do it now” kind of vibe. All the enthusiasm he was giving to eating that burrito in the background while “Zeke” was trying to get him kicked out, but with lusting over Dean :P 

If we avoid that we can leap to Mr Bobo Berens and his first episode, and have this thing handled by a pro, as it’s already very much about Cas as a homeless queer man with a bad ex he still loves rolling into town where he’s just trying to make a new life and play straight - I mean human - for his own survival. I suspect the confrontation with Iphraim would make it really obvious that Cas didn’t just want to live as a human but had an eye for living as a human with Dean, and then he’d attempt a confession right before Dean would accidentally talk over, like, the L in “love” honestly, to tell him that sorry things do still stand that you can’t come back with me. Leaves Cas utterly devastated but Dean is none the wiser and he drives off and Cas pines piningly at the pine trees in his Gas n Sip. 

Again the end of season probably would force the real confession, since there’s a ready made moment in 9x22 where Hannah tries to force Cas to kill Dean and he gives it all up for one man. Cas can just lower that knife and be like, “No, I love him,” talking to his shoes and Hannah rather than meeting Dean’s eyes. Mark of Cain Dean is fuuuucked up at that point but we still get the moment where Dean carries Cas’s bag into the bunker and sits down with him and tries to care about his health and now also this confession. Sussing out what the heck is up with Cas, and maybe he looks like he’s playing it cool and is still so messed up but Cas is vulnerable, and finally Dean starts to reach across the library table for his hand, and it’s a moment where maybe things could have started to go better for them...... Cue Gadreel walking into the library, Dean going feral, blah blah demon!Dean, blah blah explicitly stated Drowley, blah blah muuuch healing and Cas giving Dean a wide berth for a lil while. Though, in this scenario, 10x22 is far worse but has the reverse crypt scene moment, so Dean can be more obviously unable to kill Cas because he loves him, and then he walks out, followed by season 11 and Cas being returned to them. Unfortunately. Yep. Another finger curls on the Monkey Paw... 11x03 by Buckleming would absolutely be where Destiel goes undeniably canon as it is their first real interactions post Mark of Cain. Our only consolation - directed by Jensen Ackles.

Season 10 confession, hm. Poor Cas. He has the option of 10x03, of confessing and then immediately apologising and walking off to handle stuff with Hannah (thanks Buckleming!) or the Burger Date, where Dean may be slightly less stunned stupid but still likely to laugh it off and not believe it. There’s not much heavy tension between them most of the season so it’s possible that the only time Cas would really get is to confess in 10x22 while telling Dean that he would have to watch him murder the world, and that would suck because I love you. At which point the story dictates that Dean beats Cas to paste so it’s a very bad look. Season 10 destiel confession is the worst. 

Season 11 may be better because Cas has options to be jealous of Crowley and Dean’s connection to Amara multiple times and then Casifer happens and that can really play up things in a season where a confession is coming. 

I think the Beer Run in 11x23 might be the only viable place, where Dean grabs Cas and takes him out for that drive for last drinks before the end of the world. Cas gets the “you’re our brother” thing and just lays into Dean with the certainty of someone who knows this is it - now or nothing - with “You know that’s crap, Dean. You wait until the end of the world and you can’t even say it. Well I can; I love you.” 

Cue awkward tension, well-placed interrupting Moose, and then the world very much not ending so that when Dean n Cas hug and kiss in front of Mary in 12x01. Well. There’s even more explaining to do to her. Since we’ve made it to Dabb era, I believe any confessions from this point onwards can just slot into the show as we got it from there since it’s entirely compatible to start season 12 assuming Dean n Cas are literally married and never be contradicted by the text in their behaviour. But since we’ve had canon Destiel since whenever, obviously the final episodes are good instead of. That.

Season 12... Going to have to go with the first sniff of true canon coming in Lily Sunder with just a few lines leaning even further in the Cas’s Angel Family Are Homophobic Assholes metaphor, leaving Cas’s relationship with Dean even more live wire exposed. Followed by The Mixtape Scene where Cas is going to confess to Dean and get him startled up out of his seat, accidentally knocking the mixtape to the floor and for a moment it’s like, did he throw it is he mad? but then he’s smooching Cas, fade to black, return to scheduled programming but the whole line about Cas stealing the Colt from under Dean’s pillow makes fuckin sense, as well as the fall out argument and how mad Dean was at Cas followed by how devastated he was at Cas’s death. This just means Dabb era continues as planned except we get a kiss in 13x06 under that big glowy cross, and some more smooching here and there when things are good from then on. 

Season 13... Hm. Cas has to do the confessing and I don’t think he’d throw that at Dean on return from death so unlike if Dean was the one who was being made to confess obviously the aforementioned glowy cross scene obviously would be it for him... Cas could keep that bottled up much longer, especially as he has so much to do with Jack this season. It’s entirely possible we go through the whole season and then Cas lobs it at Dean as a final card when he’s making his Michael decision and we actually see the scene that we didn’t get, where Cas has to watch Dean getting possessed. Except Dean is like, tearful and furious like why would you tell me that now, and anyway i’m doing this for you as well dumbass but fuck you but also how dare you anyway I need to be an archangel now and save our - your - son, bye. Cue Cas sitting there not just in total horror at what happened but also kicking himself for fucking up the moment :P I guess this way at least we can have that moment where Dean is un-Michaeled and tells Cas he’s going to shower and finger guns at him, and now we can have Cas wordlessly and furiously follow him. 

Season 14, we get Cas at Rocky’s bar confessing to Dean while figment!Pamela cheers the whole thing on. If there was EVER a time to use the power of love to snap Dean out of it, Cas upsetting his cosy routine with “this isn’t real, I’M NOT HERE IN YOUR FANTASY” is absolutely the time to pull a reverse crypt scene which has such low stakes in terms of neither of them needing to punch each other when Michael is an external aggressor.

My ONLY issue with this is that Sam has to witness the whole thing and we would get reaction shots and I am a weak mortal who will start cackling at them when I’m supposed to be having the transcendent moment of canon and the whole thing would be ruined just because of the way Jared gurns when doing reactions to dean n cas interacting. Wow thanks. Thanks a lot. 

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #142: Ishtar

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re making Best Goddess and, according to @hasishtardoneanythingwrong, a servant who has done absolutely nothing very little wrong, Ishtar! 

In this build, Ishtar is a Divine Soul Sorcerer to balance her blasting abilities with her divine nature and a Zeal Cleric to push her explosive capabilities and godhood to the max.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: The second part of the oldest bromance in human history.

Race and Background

Unfortunately WotC hasn’t figured out how to balance literal god PCs yet, but since Ishtar is a demiservant we can still technically call her a Protector Aasimar, giving her +1 Wisdom, +2 Charisma, Darkvision, Celestial Resistance to radiant and necrotic damage, Healing Hands to heal some hands, and the Light cantrip.

Since she protects Uruk in her own special way, we’ll call her a Goddess Alliance Anarch. This gives you Animal Handling and Religion proficiencies, as well as some bonus spells as you level up!

Ability Scores

As the goddess of love and also blowing up mountains, your Charisma needs to be as high as possible. Follow that up with Dexterity, you can literally fly, that’s pretty fast. After that will be Constitution, you can take a lot of abuse, especially if it’s coming from the writers. Your Wisdom has to be next so we can multiclass, keep that in mind if you’re rolling. Your Strength isn’t amazing, but it’s not like you’re using it anyway. Finally, dump Intelligence. Not gonna dwell on that one, let’s just move on.

Class Levels

1. Sorcerer 1: Honestly I think “Divine Soul” is kinda selling yourself short, but we’ll work in the framework we’re given. You can cast Spells now, including your Divine Magic from the cleric spell list, using your Charisma. You’re also Favored by the Gods, giving you the option of adding 2d4 to a failed save or attack roll once per short rest.

For cantrips you get Thunderclap and True Strike for offensive options (I mean you do aim. Even if your target’s a mountain, aiming is important.) You also get Minor Illusion and Friends to manipulate people into doing what you want.  Finally, your stand against the Three Goddess Alliance grants you the cantrips Fire Bolt and Produce Flame to make the battlefield a little bit spicier.

For first level spells, you get Bless from being a divine soul, as well as Compelled Duel, Speak with Animals, and Thunderwave from being an Anarch. For your actually chosen spells, Mage Armor makes your outfit feasible, and Feather Fall will be very helpful once you start flying.

2. Sorcerer 2: Second level sorcerers become a Font of Magic, giving you sorcerer points equal to your sorcerer level. Right now you can turn points into spell slots or vice versa, but it’ll get more interesting later. 

You can also cast Disguise Self, in case you have to, I don’t know, organize a servant-based wacky races kind of event? Idk, whatever.

3. Sorcerer 3: Third level sorcerers get Metamagic, letting you alter your spells to suit your mood by using sorcery points. A Transmuted spell lets you swap out its acid, cold, fire, lightning, poison, or thunder damage for another option on that list. Meanwhile, you can use a Distant spell to double a spell’s range, making your archery much more effective.

You also become a Radiant Soul, spending an action to transform yourself and gaining a flying speed for up to a minute. You can also deal extra radiant damage to a creature you hit with an attack or spell once per turn. You can do this once per long rest. It’s not a long trip, but it’s free.

On top of that, you get second level spells this turn. Distort Value lets you halve or double an object’s apparent value for the duration, perfect for haggling with a certain someone. You also get Beast Sense and Shatter from your Anarch spell list. The former isn’t that in-character, but the latter is a good start to taking down that mountain.

4. Sorcerer 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to round up your Constitution and Charisma, giving you more health, better concentration, and stronger spells. What a glow up!

You can also cast the cantrip Resistance to add 1d4 to a creature’s next save, or use Find Traps to make sneaking into Gilgamesh’s many treasure vaults slightly easier. If it works.

5. Sorcerer 5: You’re a god, so you probably shouldn’t be messing up that often. To help with that, Magical Guidance lets you spend a sorcery point to re-roll a failed skill check. Maybe it’ll help.

You can also cast Fly this level, giving you more frequent flying miles at the cost of your concentration. You can also Conjure Animals if you want to show up that gazelle-loving sister of yours. More on-target, however, is your other Anarch spell, Conjure Barrage. Gosh, it’s almost like you’re an archer or something.

6. Cleric 1: This whole flying around exploding things is great, but I think we can put more pizazz on it. Or, as they say down in Amonkhet, let’s add some Zeal. That’s right, we’re stealing from two MTG planes this build! As a Priest of Zeal, you can attack as a bonus action if you attack as an action a number of times per long rest equal to your wisdom modifier. That sounds kind of useless, but as a Zeal Cleric you also get proficiency with martial weapons, meaning that yes, you can use a bow and arrow. The archer class really is made up of archers!

You can also cast and prepare Spells using your Wisdom, but we got the really good ones in your sorcerer list, so don’t worry too much here. You do get some more cantrips, though! Thaumaturgy lets you throw your godly weight around, Light lets you cast light again using a worse casting modifier, and Guidance gives a creature some helpful advice from their favorite goddess, adding 1d4 to their next check.

You also get some domain spells, but they’re both smites and you’re an archer, so...

7. Cleric 2: The real reason we’re dipping is for your Channel Divinity option, which you can use once per short rest. You could  use it for Turn Undead, forcing a wisdom save against all undead near you (with a dc of 8 + proficiency + wisdom modifier), but the much more fun option is Consuming Fervor. This turns one fire or thunder damage roll into its maximum instead of rolling. That will be very scary later.

8. Sorcerer 6: Sixth level divine souls get Empowered Healing. You might not have any healing spells, but just being around people makes them feel a bit better. This lets you spend a sorcery point to re-roll any dice being used in a healing roll near you once per turn.

Speaking of healing, we’re still not doing that! You can now Bestow Curses onto people. Serves them right, calling you a “useless goddess”. This is one of those creative spells, so have fun with it!

9. Sorcerer 7: Seventh level sorcerers get fourth level spells! Anarchs get Dominate Beast and Stoneskin, and while neither are technically in character the latter could be very useful given your less than stellar AC. Also, literally turning yourself into gemstones is a real power move.

Your spell of choice this level is Ice Storm, letting you pummel a 20′ radius area with plenty of hail (or fiery debris, or just pure force), enough to turn the area into difficult terrain for a round.

10. Sorcerer 8: Use this ASI to grab the Spell Sniper feat, letting your spells ignore most cover, and spells you cast that require an attack roll have two times their normal range. You also learn Eldritch Blast to further flex on those dumb warlocks. They have to sell their soul and waste an invocation to get 300′ range blasts, and here you are with 480′ range and your soul’s intact! Hah!

You can also exude an Aura of Purity now, preventing disease, weakening poison damage, and granting advantage on a ton of status effect saves. 

11. Sorcerer 9: Ninth level sorcerers get fifth level spells, including your final Anarch spell, Destructive Wave. It’s only got a range of thirty feet, but it never hurts to prepare for an ambush. For longer range attacks, Flame Strike will do nicely. We’re still not quite at “blasting a mountain to smithereens” level power, but we’re getting there.

12. Sorcerer 10: Tenth level sorcerers can get the most out of their spells by making them Empowered, letting them re-roll a number of dice on their damage roll, up to their charisma modifier.

You can also cast Dancing Lights for a bit of a dramatic flair, or Creation to make gemstones out of thin air. Heck, you could even make a proper Boat of Heaven with this!

13. Sorcerer 11: Another two levels have passed, that means you get another spell level. Sunbeam gives you a reusable sunlight blast, dealing radiant damage and blinding creatures that fail their constitution save. You can use this attack again as your action each turn for up to a minute. Sadly this isn’t affected by either of your range enhancements, but you’ve still got plenty of airspace to work with.

14. Sorcerer 12: If we’re going to blast a mountain apart we’ve got to get serious. Use this ASI to get the Elemental Adept feat, focusing on Thunder damage. Once you take this feat, all dice on thunder damage rolls coming from spells always count as at least a 2, and they ignore thunder resistances.

15. Sorcerer 13: The first step to launching the literal planet Venus at somebody is actually getting the damn thing, and that means we need to leave the atmosphere at a moment’s notice. The closest we can come to that here is Plane Shift. You can also use this on enemy creatures as a melee attack

16. Sorcerer 14: Fourteenth level Divine Souls get an Angelic Form you can transform into as a bonus action. This gives you a flying speed of 30′ that is basically permanent until you’re incapacitated or you just get rid of them on your own. Have fun with those orbital bombardments!

17. Sorcerer 15: Sunburst sounds like a good pick for your eighth level spell. This one actually does get a range boost, which is good because it deals damage in a 60′ radius. Creatures within that radius get a constitution save, and failing that means a lot of radiant damage and being blind until it makes the save on the end of its turn. Sadly, it’s stuck on radiant damage, but it’s still an effective blasting spell.

18. Sorcerer 16: Use your last ASI to max out your Charisma so that whole “making the save” thing from last level never happens.

19. Sorcerer 17: To make those saves even less likely, our final metamagic option is Heightened Spell, causing one creature’s first save of the spell in question to be made at disadvantage. Basically you’re saying “like you had a choice in the matter”.

Speaking of spells though, we can finally pull Venus through for a charged shot, thanks to the ninth level spell Meteor Swarm. With a max range of 1-2 miles this truly is nuking the planet from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

Here’s a step by step guide for removing a mountain. 1. Hang out in the Troposphere. 2. Cast Meteor Swarm, swapping out Fire for Thunder damage. 3. Channel Divinity, maxing out the thunder damage for extra fun. 4. Deal 120 Thunder damage that ignores resistances, on top of 20d6 bludgeoning damage. 5. Enjoy your new crater.

20. Sorcerer 18: Your capstone level of sorcerer gives you an Unearthly Recovery. When you’re bloodied, you can spend a bonus action to heal yourself for half your HP, once per long rest. You had enough trouble in the underworld as it is, no point in going back again.

Pros:

As I just mentioned in level 19, you can deal a lot of damage. Like, Sanson level damage, without all the nonsense attached to it. You’ve got big booms, and multiple ways to make those booms hurt even more than they should.

Flying on a spellcaster is just. Really, really good. Especially on one built for range. There’s almost literally nothing they can do to you up here. Like, arrows, maybe, but you can just retaliate with the literal wrath of god. Plus, you’re probably out of counterspell range, so there’s nothing the DM can do to you!

A lot of your spells are focused on damage, but you do still have plenty of variety in your spell list, just in case. And on the off chance you’re fighting someone in a silence bubble, you can just change your thunder spells to acid or something.

Cons:

For most of this build we’re relying on the Flight spell to get off the ground, which eats up your Concentration and has a chance of failure when you take damage. It’s not ideal.

Those Cleric Levels are very useful, but they still push back your spell progression by 2 levels, which means you’ll have even less time with your An Gal Ta Ki Gal Se than you would normally.

You can’t fly everywhere. Caves exist. Buildings exist. I mean you totally can blast holes to get where you need to, just don’t expect to be that popular with whoever owns the building. Also, fighting in cramped areas plays to your biggest weakness: squishiness. Your AC is only 15, and you’ve got barely over 120 HP, which as we just discussed, someone built like you can take out very easily.

[honestlyfrance]

first lines

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

thank you so much @buckyrhodey for the tag!! miss youu 💕

idk what were my last stories so i went deep for these hehe, mostly a mix of published and wips

1. A Better Starry Night (sam/bucky ; horror)

The sky was silent. There’s a thundering crack from down the horizon, heads turning down by the mountainside. It seems to be approaching — faster now.

2. the sweetest tragedy (sam/bucky; mcd) - def a fave of mine!

It's a goddamn tragedy, it's what it is. You love him but he's leaving, high on euphoria with a rank under his name, you're going to lose him in every universe and there's nothing you could do about it.

3. to cease intimacy (sam/bucky ; first date) - this makes me yearn till this day

It's that moment when your heart hitched in your throat and you're unable to breathe freely, feeling asphyxiation nipping at your veins, it’s like you know that your heart was too full of emotion to function right, too much love that sends your heart running a marathon. It was a good feeling, a blissful moment, yet there was that betrayal within it that makes you question your feelings over and over again because there’s that one question running through your head: “Why is it him?” but it’s all good, everything’s peachy-keen because you don’t have to hide it anymore — you had to show it now, however, and that was a wave of dread coming all at once.

4. hug infinitely (sam/bucky ; protective!bucky)

It’s only a fact that you can’t protect who you love from every little inconvenient thing. You can’t fix every crack in the world just so you could breathe easy thinking your love wouldn’t trip. You also can’t make the sun go away so your love can’t get a sunburn on your nice little beach date. It’s miserable thinking that the world just has it’s ways to hurt your love, but that’s reality, and to have it bother you so much, it’s only a tragedy in three acts.

5. falling in love against gravity (sam/bucky ; sam centric) - i loved exploring sam’s experience with flying in this one

Falling was a violent act. You’ll trust the fall with intent so dangerous it’s almost like a kiss with death, and you’ll love it. You’ll love how you can fall backward and have a night with death. You’ll love how you could close your eyes and never open them again. Yet, you fly instead somehow. You fall then you fly, defying the law of gravity.

6. pine (wip name) (sam/bucky/steve ; thirst tweet acc)

The thing is, it didn't happen suddenly at all. They had mulled it all over, understood the risks and consequences. It's dangerous work, and there's no assurance that they'll make it out with their dignity, but what the hell. The 21st century needed more of Captain America and the Winter Soldier pining over the Falcon; let them be.

7. (wip name after mutual heh) (sam/bucky)

Little boys growing up in grand houses and ocean views are the kind of boys who would like adventure, the kind of boys who would yearn for the woods, and cozy little cabins in farms. Instead, December comes and they grow up smoking like chimneys in winter. Yes, little boys grow up and move into cities with blinking white lights, but they always come back seeking adventure.

8. death speaks (they called it kindness) (sam/bucky ; sam centric ; wip)

They say death aches like a motherfucker. Sam Wilson presses on it like a bruise, wanting to feel something before the sensation leaves his senses. He’ll ache for it, flawlessly manipulating it, and sooner or later, he’ll resurface and regret every single bruise he’d made. They say death licks all the wounds of the forgotten faces away, but to Sam, it’s just unforgivable.

9. milkshakes in two (sam/steve/bucky ; stucky fight for sams luv ; wip)

Truth is, love comes in many forms, but the form of a fist fight at a parking lot in three in the goddamn morning, like a modern-day Achilles versus Hector except they both leave with a cut under the eye and a broken nose instead of, you know, a bloody corpse, is just as romantic as leaving cute sticky notes around the house for them to see. It’s even more romantic if they noticed it, but sometimes a romantic gesture such as a fist fight between two supersoldiers need to tilt towards the murder part of Troy before a certain Falcon could notice.

10. field of flowers (sam/bucky fatws drabble 1x03)

When you look into Sam Wilson’s eyes, maybe you might see something surreal. Maybe something you shouldn’t have seen in the first place. After all, the eyes are the window to the soul, wouldn’t it be quite intrusive to look at him so bare?

(yall know my damn first lines are chunky paragraphs long so more below 🥰 )

11. love sweeter than candy, cavities to the heart (sam/bucky) 

It’s not that Sam despised the idea of it, in fact, he breathes it in like cocaine, feeling the rush and instant fall of his senses, and maybe it’s not actually drugs to him but maybe something milder, like, a kiss, one that is so slow and soft that it makes him scream at the deprivation, making himself aware of how desperate he just was about touch, literally any sort of touch, but then again, it’s Sam we’re talking about; suppressed and no-nonsense, he couldn’t possibly want something so good like some cliche grand romantic gesture that is too cheesy for its own good, and maybe it’s for the best that he keeps quiet about this want because it’s not like he gets it every day.

12. Partners (sam/bucky)

It was in the bathroom of a safe house that Sam Wilson finds himself bandaging himself up. There was a small gash on his forearm from the afternoon before; it ran down from below his shoulder blade to above his elbow, but it wasn’t as deep as it should be, just looking quite raw but wouldn’t need any serious stitching.  He’s been washing the same spot with clean water from the faucet for the past solid half hour, the sound of water gushing echoing in the tiny bathroom.

13.  oranges in october (sam/bucky) - this one!! this!!

You’d think that just because he had wings and he flies, that makes him an Icarus. Icarus fell to his death. He did not resurface, he did not live beyond that power. Sam Wilson soared high into the missiles of war and came back battered and red, dripping love and death as he stands in the aftermath of it all. You think he was an Icarus when he was actually Apollo. Anyone who gets close to him falls to the ocean waves, then sooner than later, he’s left singing eulogies as his heart rattles in a cage.

14.  It Rains Every April 10th (sam/bucky; mcd) - this too! ive been told by someone that this was the most accurate desc of depression theyve seen

Depression hits like a wave on a cliffside — sometimes you see it coming, sometimes you didn’t see it, and sometimes you just let it happen. It sometimes gnaws at your skin, always there, but more of a ghostly hand hovering over you; there’s that presence but you think you don’t have enough proof to prove it existed. Times like these you try your best to move but you become unmotivated, absolutely immobile except for the moments your body decides to exhaust itself for unrelated things you shouldn’t be doing. It takes a toll on you you wouldn’t even realize, and even then, who else realized it? You’re just tired. You don’t cry. You’re just tired.

15. to hold dear (sam/bucky)

Bucky Barnes didn’t want a lot of things. He’s got a really low bar of standards now, even just waking up without a threat on his life counts as a win. He doesn’t even mind if there wasn’t any more soap in the bathroom; he’s just glad he’s got a shower in the first place. Breakfast? God, he’s just glad that he could walk around a house with his guard let down.

i have no more (:

tagging: @enchanted-lightning-aes @siancore @pianistwriter80 @glittercake @lesbians-love-samwilson @mariahthelioness29 @rhodeslabs @lovelyirony :)

[m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s]

IT’S MUSIC TIME MY GOONIES PT. 3

FT. MY YOUTUBE PLAYLIST

hehe, so i have been wanting to do one of these again for a while now, so here we are! but instead, we’re doing my youtube playlist, which has all the slowed, sadder versions of songs that i like. yes, i like sad songs, oops :P. ballads have always been my jam, probably always will be so, here are some songs from my playlist! once again, putting the playlist on shuffle and just going with the flow besides the occasional skip lol :P

people i feel like would like to see this: @loth-wolffe @weirdcharacter @ladykatakuri @ahsokasleftbicep

———

happier by olivia rodrigo but it’s ten times sadder

by wisterxiaa

i love slowed versions of songs, that is like the way to my heart lol 😂 this is really nice, her voice sounds really cool slowed down like this. the electric guitar in like the middle sounds so cool omgg. is it sad? yeah, a little, but it’s really nice slowed down like this. most of the time, the titles say this in my playlist, but i just like the way it’s slowed lol 😂. the thumbnail is so pretty 9/10, love the purple and the monarch butterflies :) overall, recommend this song when your in the mood for some olivia rodrigo, but a tad bit sadder. AND THE OOH’S AT THE END HIT DIFFERENT OMGGGG AND SHE SOUNDS SO BROKEN AND SOFT AT THE END APOBIHJ[OADSIJB

everybody loves somebody - dean martin (slowed n reverb)

by starclouds

pretty sure i got this song from General Angsty (if i didn’t, apologizes), but this slowed down verison HITS THE SPOT. i love his voice in this slowed way, it is so interesting. also, it’s reverb? like? yes, please. the thumbnail is actually a GIF that is a fountain, it’s pretty cool, 7/10, also this makes me wanna sway with like Echo or something (actually now that i think of it, i’m pretty sure i got this from General Angsty’s dancing post with the boys, which made me so SoFt omg :)) overall, recommend listen to this when you wanna sway with your lover in like a dance club, but your nestled into their neck and your pulled so close and it’s warm in their embrace :) the instruments also are really nice in this verison.

Clair De Lune Ethereal Remix

by A.Krishna

IF ALL MUSIC SUDDENLY BECAME ETHEREAL ON YOUTUBE, I WOULD MOST LIKELY CRY. so i love ethereal remixes, there’s just something so… whimsical about ethereal remixes. this song is so pretty and beautiful on ethereal omgggGGGg. the thumbnail is beautiful 10000000/10. I just- this sounds like a song you would use as like a look back through your entire life, like every memory and moment just appearing as this song plays WOW. and when the piano climax’s in the midDLE OMGGGG it is INSANE, LIKE THE EMOTIONS THAT GO THROUGH MY BRAIN AOBIASDNB and then it gets super soft and quiet aaaahhhh CAN YOU TELL I LIKE ETHEREAL?? IDK IF YOU CAN 😂 anyways, overall recommend this song when your just watching the rain fall and reminiscing about good times in your life :)

heather - conan gray ( slowed + reverb)

by Vibey

okay definitely this song is sadder slowed, like THE FEELS OMGG but it’s amazing slowed, like the original is awesome, AND THEN THIS???!! so the thumbnail is a really pretty GIF of this VHS tape just playing, and it’s purple so 10/10. this definitely brings the raspy part of his voice, and i really like it (or that’s just the reverb lol 😂) only thing i do not like about this slowed version is it cuts off the end of the song at the end of the video, and I don’t know why, but it’s still really good, so i don’t mind too much :). it’s very pretty and sad all at the same time. overall, recommend listening to this song when your just chilling, staring up at the ceiling and your like “let’s be a puddle of sad for a sec”

Chiquitita(slowed+reverbed)💜

by Brown Aesthetic Syndrome

LIL’ SOKA, IT’S OUR SONG!! OUR SONG SLOWED AND REVERBED IS SO PRETTY, AND AWESOME!!! MKAY, SO THE THUMBNAIL IS COOL, 8/10, THE FLOWERS ARE PRETTY!! YES, I WILL BE SCREAMING ABOUT THIS SONG LOL 😂 THE PIANO SOUNDS SO PRETTY IN THIS, LIKE IT’S SO MUCH MORE BROUGHT OUT :))), AND THEIR VOICES SOUND SO PRETTY SLOWED!!! OH AND THE CHORUS ITS DIFFERENT OMGGGGG AOPBINAS[FDPOIBJOFIBOAFINBPOJ IT’S SO INSANE OMGGG AOIBAPDOFSKGN!! ANYWAYS RECOMMEND THIS SONG WHEN YOU ARE LIKE “I NEED ABBA VIBES, BUT SLOWED” ALBKNDSPFOBIN

billie eilish - my future - slowed dreamy reverb

by ayabe

so this song is incredible, like it slowed really hits different. billie’s voice has always been so interesting to me because sometimes she sings like very whisper like, and other times she is full on belting like going insane, and i really like that she uses her voice in multiple different ways during her songs. billie is the number one artist i go to when i really wanna be in the feels, and this verison of my future is so amazing. the beat is so interesting, and the thumbnail is really cool 9/10, also i don’t know what the language is nor, do i know what it says, so if you do, let me know lol 😂 but the picture is cool. this song is one i listen to all the time because it’s just- yes. overall recommend this song when your chilling in bed, just in the dark, with the window open on a summer night :)

friends on the other side - s l o w e d

by angelicsounds

THIS IS SO EPIC SLOWED OMGGGGG I CAN’T NOT EVEN EXPLAIN AOBPINADOPBNF I REALLY FEEL LIKE A SPOOKY DUDE WHO KNOWS HOW TO DO SOME SPOOKY STUFF OMGGG i love the original song, and i also really like the cover by annapantsu, definitely recommend her verison too! this has got to be the coolest disney villain song slowed down, hands down. the thumbnail is a GIF of this anime character’s eyes doing weird looking highlight stuff lol idk what to call it, 8/10. overall, recommend when you wanna listen to a song that makes you feel like the main villain in a story :) AND THE ENDING HITS DIFFERENT OMGGGGGGGG

le valse de l’amour - patrick doyle (slowed down)

by mari

okay, so we all know that I love Cinderella. and this song is so incredible, i can’t- okay, but just imagine… the bad batch, undercover at a senate ball, you, trying to make sure the senators are safe. the boys are in their separate locations, you know, watching, making sure everyone is good. some random dude from out of nowhere tries to make you dance with him. you are obviously like “um, what the heck, please no sir.” and suddenly…

“may i have this dance?”

it’s Hunter (or crosshair, but i’ve written a fic about Hunter dancing with the reader, so i feel like he would be a good dancer).

anyways, he whisks you away from random dude, and your like “Hunter there’s no music” because the orchestra just finished their previous song, and he’s like

“just wait.”

bam, this song comes on.

and suddenly, Hunter’s waltzing with you and you didn’t even know he could waltz. and it’s exactly like the scene from Cinderella 2015. So you two are doing your own thing in the middle of the ballroom, and everyone starts moving out of the way because woah these people are really good at dancing

and you are just shocked because HOW??

and he just leads you through the whole thing. he spins you around, and if your wearing a dress and it’s got some tulle on it, it swishes around when he spins you and oh my god the butterflies and smile he gets when you giggle because you love the way it swirls around you. and then people start backing up more, because at this rate, you guys are taking up the whole dance floor.

and you just keep going, and he starts pick you up and spinning you around when the harp comes on. and he grabs you by the waist and starts swinging you around just like Kit & Ella do in the movie. and then the end of the song comes, and he dips you, brings you back up, and that’s it.

and when it’s all said and done, you just look at him, and well, he obviously looks extremely handsome, his suit is all pressed, and his hair is done back in a bun, but he’s got a few wisps coming out from your whole little dancing experience, and all you can say is:

“I-”

“shhh, mesh’la. later. i’ll tell you later.”

anyways, thumbnail is a solid 11/10, and recommend if you wanna daydream about dancing at a senator ball with Hunter.

no i am not planning on writing a fic about this, what you you implying? okay, yes i am, i am. no shame 😂

sleeping beauty - once upon a dream (slowed + reverb)

by Paige Coddington

sleeping beauty is one of my favorite disney princesses besides rapunzel & cinderella, so i love this. The GIF is so pretty, 10/10. Aurora’s voice is pretty, and her vibrato is so much more prominent in this verison, and i am obsessed. this is so pretty, I- speechless, actually. and then philip comes in and it’s just ✨ also, i always like aurora in the pink dress when i was younger, but now i kind of like the blue dress more. they should have just given her a purple dress i guess lol 😂 overall, really pretty, recommend when you are in the mood for some more nostalgic disney vibes :)

D a n c i n g Q u e e n 女王

by v a p o r w a v e

okay so i originally found this on an edit of “the snap from avengers infinity war, but dancing queen” -

and when i tell you that the snap got even sadder, I-

anyways, i also really like vaporwave music, very interesting and very cool. i love the video because i’m pretty sure it’s the original music video, but it looks like your looking through a kaleidoscope, so 100000000/10. this song is so good vaporwave, like, just yes. like when i say this hits different, like for real, this hits different. ABBA is always good, but this by far has to be my favorite thing of ABBA music i have ever found. It’s like…

it’s just incredible.

like i said with the ethereal remix of clair de lune, this is like a song that you put on your life, and just look at all the memories and moments that have happened to you.

overall, recommend when you wanna just sit and think for awhile, or maybe make the snap from avengers infinity war sadder

———

and that’s it! i decided that i would just stick to 10, the other ones i have done are about 12, and i just thought it was a good number lol 😂 i hope you guys enjoy these as much as I do, and check out my pinned post to see them all linked on one post :)

lots of spells (& music listening),

moony