#idk its just so crazy to get these news AND IT JUST FEELS SO SO SO HUGE LIKE THEY EVEN CAME UP WITH THIS SHORTS OWN TITLE
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I keep seeing fanarts of ppl's OC's being on the ship, so do you think that if there was 6st crewmember (specifically, another woman) Anya would've been more safe? Like, someone to actually call Jimmy's begaviour out, someone Anya might wanna trust? Is there a possibility something might have changed (even if a little) or it would not have mattered at all?
-💀
I feel like the game would make it part of the commentary on where she would believe and help Anya but still be sort of dismissive? Like the whole “don’t waste time crying and being scared keep going and move on, don’t let him win”. It’s supposed to be positive and reinforcing but sometimes it does more damage in those times of mourning and grief, it feels patronizing, like you don’t understand what you’re going through but they do. Even if they did call out his behavior it’s still on Curly to act and while another voice would help, it’s still 4 against 2 on guys that don’t get it until they have to vs women who always have to.
I don’t mind mouthwashing OCs but I do get a bit bored as they tend to be borderline saviors or like Jimmy aligned. They are either more complicit than Curly or just Jimmy haters for no reason, outside of what the creators know about what he did to Anya. I am never irked by OCs but in a story like mouthwashing you really need to think about what your character adds to the commentary, especially if they are there during the crash. It’s nice to have like characters on Anya’s side more whole heartedly and interesting to see characters who placate Jimmy but sometimes it’s one note.
I can’t and don’t want to police peoples OCs it’s never my intention when I comment on trends I notice, but I do feel like the way people make their OCs interact with these two characters and especially Curly, really show a grave misunderstanding of the narrative and these characters as people vs roles in the story. Still, I know people just make up characters for fun and that’s fine. Great even, but I guys I’m focusing more on OCs that are supposed to have those serious dynamics. My favs tend to be pretty-Tulpar or post-Tulpar au OCs.
The inevitably of the crash is on Jimmy. He did that not because he wasn’t stopped but because all his means to kill Anya were taken. The gun, the axe. Even if Curly did strip him of his co-pilot privileges and try to keep him contained there’s only so many people. An extra body helps but they have jobs they have to do, he’s the only one steering the whole ship and Jimmy would likely have an out: food, bathroom, etc. He’s not new and if he couldn’t crash the ship directly, who’s to say he wouldn’t sabotage something else? A clunker like the Tulpar wouldn’t take much. An extra person helps but it’s just another thing that prolongs what a person like Jimmy is willing to do to shirk responsibility.
It’s more than just needing someone to stand up to him and think that’s what is missing when it comes to inserting a character into the mouthwashing setting.
#like again most people treat Jimmy like a misanthrope and he’s not and the way he’s just evil/rude to everyone all the time just isn’t real#like he’s snarky and rude but it can’t be 100% of the time like hes not going out his way to instigate#he’s the type to say shit and hope it stirs the pot like Daisuke likes him at first#thinks he’s a bit of a jerk but he likes him like unless you specifically make a character he’s dislike he’s not just gonna be#readily antagonistic to strangers or at the get go#not to mention it’s not just about Anya needing a friend but someone with the power to do something#a point in why she confides in Curly is he’s the captain she’s not just gonna tell the only other woman just because it’s still personal#not every girl tells their friend or another woman especially if they are new and they don’t know how they react not all girls are#girls girls some can be just as toxic as the men they are being confided in about#the nuance of the situation is not solved by having more people who actively hate jimmmy if anything it would make him escalate further as#clearly has issues with how people perceive him and being liked like another woman who hates him that’s gonna do something crazy in his mind#I think it’s interesting when OCs explore another side of the pre established dynamics as Jimmy uses each remaining crew member to fill a#something Curly provided for him and represent his dynamic with Anya and being an abuser I just feel like a lot is being missed out on#and it’s mainly cause people don’t want to make OCs that aren’t great people like it’s okay to have a grey mediocre OCs in situations like#this its realistic and helps you write more grounded characters like idk i like the ocs but eh im not like a super fan#I really should make an analysis on Jimmy cause people hate discussing him and his character is being really misunderstood#like not saying she’s innocent or an excuse but just not getting how he is supposed to work like he’s no dick fucking dasteredly#he’s a shitty guy who gets shittier like he ain’t start out an avengers level threat#mouthwashing#💀 anon#mouthwashing game#ask#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing oc#now I gotta make an oc just to prove myself but I can’t draw#so maybe not cuz what’s the point if I can’t explain the fly drip
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how was the great gatsby musical?
overall, one of my favorite theatre experiences. to the level that i have been looping the cast recording nonstop since it came out last week
i do have a lot of specific points that i could talk So Long about with this show, most of which i'll put under a read more, but first: casting
anyway. spoilers for the great gatsby musical (things that were changed from the book for the production)
the 'main four' being Jeremy Jordan, Noah J Ricketts, Eva Noblezada, and Samantha Pauly, were all absolutely incredible. show stopping in their own ways. i was genuinely so scared that when i saw it that any of these 4 wouldn't be on, but i got so lucky and all of them were!! i am 100% convinced that many of the songs were written just to showcase certain actors voices (jeremy jordan).
let me tell you. getting to see jeremy jordan and eva noblezada live was unlike anything i've ever seen before. i was like. genuinely honored to be there. their stage presence, their voices, their acting ability, oh man... and Samantha Pauly was just incredible, and her big number was so. show stopping. Noah J. Ricketts was amazing the whole time, but his emotion in finale as he was saying the lines that are basically quoted exactly from the book... yeah i cried.
but so many other actors were also so amazing! John Zdrojeski as Tom was so good at the role, because Tom really was genuinely awful, but not in like an evil villain way, because he's much more realistic than that. i also find that a lot of times Tom is kinda seen as stupid or whatever for not noticing a lot of things going around him but in the musical he really like. could tell what was going on. and he worked his way into finding out secrets (kinda more on this later bc of my favorite song)
another main this was just. the design. Linda Cho costumes MY BELOVED im so glad she won the tony because this show DESERVED IT. it was definitely a glorified image of what those 1920s outfits would actually be, but most musical theatre isn't meant to be an exact replica of history, it's meant to dramatize it, and Linda Cho understands the assignment when it comes to costumes. the lighting and scenic design were also just incredible, especially their use of the green light shining from across the bay...
the show started out with Gatsby onstage, reaching for the green light. a set piece is moved across the stage, passing in front of him, Nick standing where Gatsby was. within that moment i was like "if they don't end the show with Nick standing there, the set piece passing in front, and leaving Gatsby behind, reaching for the green light, then what is the POINT" and then they DID and it was just as great as i'd imagined.
there were definitely changes to the story to adapt it to the stage, which i actually enjoyed (i've read the book, but didn't love it mostly due to a bad experience with reading it in school so. yeah). it is kinda more romance-centric in the first act, which i have heard people complain about, but i kinda see reasoning for it. yes, the first act is very much centered around the various relationships (especially the romantic ones), and in the second act, while certain characters (mostly gatsby) try to keep it centered on the romance, there is a much bigger, darker story going on all around them. so i really liked that meta perspective of it.
they also gave a lot more character to mr wilson (idr his first name), effectively intertwining him with both Gatsby and Wolfsheim as he, from the very beginning, plans to move him and Myrtle away from the city (its been a hot sec since i read the book, so idr if that's there but i don't think it is).
the relationship between Nick and Jordan is also taken a lot further in the musical, to the point where they are engaged, but after Myrtle's death, it gets broken off. this is because, in this version, Jordan ends up lumped in with both Tom and Daisy, in with the old money. throughout most of the show she is much more aware of society and doesn't want any part of what her role 'should' be, but when things go south, she is just as quick as the others to abandon what's 'right' in favor of what's better for her. and ik some people might not like that change but i actually did.
Myrtles character is also taken a lot further in this, which i find really fascinating. she is given her own big number right before her death as she tried to go after Tom, saying that he'll leave Daisy and marry her instead, but then she realizes she'll become just like Daisy in that situation, and the only choice is 'love or money.' she eventually decides that she wants to go back to her husband, and the moment she turns back, she is killed. this was Such a big number and, looking back, might be one of my favorites story-wise.
while i absolutely adored most everything, genuinely, the music was by far my favorite part (besides maybe jeremy jordan and eva noblezada...) a personal thing for me was that Every. Single. Song. has SUCH a good bassline. man i need the sheet music for this show. (side note: i got to talk to the show's bass player for a few minutes after the show! i was super nervous about it but im glad i did. he was super nice)
there's def a mix of more modern showtune styles, along with bringing in a lot of jazzy elements, which was GREAT. i love jazz. like i mentioned before, certain songs were definitely written for actor's voices (Past is Catching Up to Me) which is absolutely not a bad thing because they were AMAZING
two of my favorite songs were 'Only Tea' and 'Made to Last.'
only tea is when Gatsby is stressing about Daisy coming over for tea. this was hilarious. I kid you not jeremy jordan jumped a fence at the end. it was iconic. (you can Feel the nerves in just the cast recording alone).
made to last takes place in the scene in the Plaza. it's mostly Tom, revealing the secrets he learned about how Gatsby got his fortune, then Gatsby trying to get Daisy to tell Tom she doesn't love him. there are So Many Good lines in this song (everyone kinda drags Tom a lot its great) but this is where the characterization of Tom was really just. top notch. because he really is freaking Awful. but he's also smart and not going to let go of what he owns (not good that he considers Daisy a possession though...), and he knows exactly what is going to happen to Gatsby--he's not Made to Last.
(also the song Shady is iconic. spinny tailcoats)
another just. singular line that i need to draw attention to, sung by mr wilson (he has multiple songs directed to the Eyes of God), and this line is right when he decides to go after Gatsby. "God sees everything but he's slow on his commands/You've got the eyes of God, Doc/Who's gonna be his hands?"
(this line is reprised in the middle of Gatsby's song right before the gun goes off. fun fact)
i'm sure there are So Many Other Things i could talk about (i s2g i could write 13 essays about this show) but in general like. while it wasn't groundbreaking to the theatre, it was still Such a good show and absolutely deserves better yknow. attention then it's getting. like jeremy jordan is here for a Reason this is a Good show. and mostly this is my begging people to listen to the cast recoding because its SO GOOD.
anyway. if anyone has questions about specific things i am So Happy to talk but here's a lot of my more general thoughts... (god i haven't even Talked about Eric Anderson as Wolfsheim...)
#constance answers#asks#the great gatsby#the great gatsby musical#i brought my flapper dress to new york just to wear to this show and it was Worth it#i did not stage door because i knew it was gonna be crazy but its ok because i talked to the bass player instead.#also i enjoyed sitting next to my mom during this show. because she didn't know the story pretty much at All.#so during intermission she said to me 'i don't know what but i feel like something bad is going to happen. this is too happy'#and i tried to get her to guess What would happen but she didn't.#and then watching the end... everything from myrtle dying all the way to the murder/suicide...#lets just say it took her until After that to realize that the edge of the stage was decorated to look like a pool#it is idk how late at night rn so sorry if this is not at all coherent#one more thing: the shirt i bought from this show is the best musical shirt i have Ever owned. its so pretty
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me when i heard ahs was getting a 13th season with sarah and evan
#IDK HOW TO FEEL YALL#LIKE ON ONE HAND ITS LIKE#OMG IM SO EXCITED CUZ I LOVE AHS AND IVE BEEN DYYYINGGGG TO SEE SARAH AND EVAN ONSCREEN TOGETHER AGAIN#but its also like..#RYAN MURPHY IF U DONT GET UR GRUBBY MEATY PAWS OFF OF THEM???#ESPECIALLY EVAN LIKE LEAVE HIM ALONEEEEEE#also like ahs is outta its prime and it feels like hes dragging it along idk like just let the show end😭😭#praying that they at least get semi sane roles#ALSO I THINK EVAN HAS A NEW SHOW COMING OUT WITH RYAN TOO??#like the CHOKEHOLD that he has on him is CRAZY#american horror story#ahs s13#ryan BARFY#evan peters <333#sarah paulson <33
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ohhh, da fandom, how i've not fucking missed you lmaooo the new game's release is still a month away but already i'm reminded exactly why i became convinced i'd never want anything to do with that franchise again. jesus christ. except this time im 30 and hopefully better at tailoring my online experience to not exhaust me & make me pissed and anxious (even if half of da tumblr is like. already laser-focused on making this a shit experience for everyone who stumbles upon their fuckass posts huh hfgjhjhjd)
anyway i'm listening & learning & blocking even MORE tags & not looking at SHIT until i play the game myself <3 For Real this time. "oh but surely it's just an innocent opinion and not a spoiler or anything--" that is the devil talking. all posts abt veilguard rn are full of shit, on account of The Game Isn't Fucking Out Yet How Are You Guys Already Having Novel-Length Opinions (TM)!!!! anyway i simply don't need that kind of energy in my life
i enjoy these games too much to be chased outta here by deranged drama i'm not even a part of again 😭 get fucked & god unbless
#don't mind this both the readmore and the tags are just one long rant on the topic of Bitching About The Dragon Age Fandom <3#personal blah#sdjhfjkj that one post making fun of this fandom and its drama and callouts.... it really is LITERALLY like that no exaggeration#y'all are so fuckin stupid god bless! idk what's funnier#the people who already formed a full comprehensive opinion abt the game based on the spoilers and scraps of news we've been given#(the opinion is of course that it's All Bad!! what else!! 'veilguard will NEVER be origins idk why i even bothered' it's so dark in here)#OR the people who full ass expected some masterpiece of storytelling that will tie in EVERY single loose strand of story together#and that will bring ALL of the previous playable characters and ALL the companions back (or at least SURELY the ones they like!! duh!!)#be so fr rn 😭 it's a new game!! new story!! for the love of god can we move on long enough to experience something new#& also you guys KEEP getting big mad disappointed by EVERY new bioware game. Why Did You Think This Would Be Different.#we've BEEN here before. how have we not learned anything#you hated da2 and inquisition too like jhjhgjgfhh at this point maybe Adjust Your Expectations at least a little? Just A Thought#shoutout also to the people who are mad about how much the game seems--key word SEEMS mind you--to be focused on solas#i'm super not crazy about him either but the game was literally called dreadwolf for most of it's development like. what did you EXPECT#ANYWAY. fjghfhjkd#dav#<- that's for my blog navigation. potentially. i might start tagging all the games for myself again idk we'll see#god i needed to get this off my chest fjghjhjk i feel so light now. emptied all my annoyance into the void and now i'm all 😌😇
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oh yea i can upload art this time uh heres a drawing from new years eve =]
#its a redraw of a thing i did on new years eve in 2018#i finished the origjnal digitally a few days later but i thought itd be fun to try and redraw the full drawing traditionally#its kinda janky in some spots but im proud of myself. its cute#plus i just dont do full traditional drawings much#scribbles#ocposting#i havent used this character in forever… man#by forever i mean literally 2019 btw XD ahhh i feel so bad abt never doing shit w my old ocs but like… idk#they dont really do much for me anymore like i love them dont get me wrong. theyre my silly little guys.#but like i dont really… want to do much with them? like their stories dont do much for me their characters and designs arent stuff im super#crazy abt abymore. this sounds so negative help 😭 i dont mean it that way#like. some old ocs i do revamp and do stuff with. eyesontreeseason is a big example#but also like recently i remembered abt my old lps ocs and ive been doing stuff w them#not really actually having any storyline just like doodling them and stuff#but like.. i feel like thats different becuz their story was never very set in stone and also its just. the whole setup was ‘they can trave#thru dimensions lol’ so i can do more silly stupid shit w them i guess#idk#im just rambling help
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for the love of god someone convince me from texting my ex, i daydreamed too closr to the sun and now i want attention😭
#its not a door i should open#but idk if im crazy and i need to drop my suspicions and try again or if im really going to be right some day#and we get involved again then that person comes along and its a messy awful breakup and i just cant do that to them#but fuck i wish i could be with them#i would love them but the problem is (aside from their drinking) it would be so easy to fall in love with them#but they want long term and aside from me knowing im leaving the province soon i dont think wish how i am now id be okay with pretending#its not fair#i want to see them again#im jealous of attention they probably get and that theyve probably given#and i really hate how i was made and that i cant just go with the flow#but again drinking and dark eyes aside theyre practically perfect#i miss them so much sometimes that im actually posting more on instagram in the hopes theyll notice me again#i wonder if they think about me or if theyre too busy getting laid#cause theyre in a band so duh obviously theyre getting laid#I FUCKING HATE MY INABILITY TO BE ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE#ITS NOT FAIR#I HATE MY SUPERSTITIONS SO DAMN MUCH I WANT TO LET THEM GO AND BE HAPPY BUT I CANT#I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT THE PERSON I WANT TO BE WITH WITH PRETTY BLUE EYES AND BIG HANDS#fuck nate was so close to perfect and i love that theyre so interesting and fuck i think id just give in if they had blue eyes#i could ignore the other problems and feel better about trying to be with them#mostly i just want them to kiss me and hug me again#they were so gentle about it and it felt so safe and i wanna cry cause i know its not fair to contact them#but fuck i wish i could#i dont want to be alone anymore and they made me laugh#i dont know what to do but i wish it was easier to at least meet people if not date them#i just want to feel something for someone new so i can feel like im over them#but sadly they work at ikea and its not even the closest one to me but i have to go there for a new mattress topper and jars#and i keep imagining running into them AND ITS FUCKING ME UP i want to talk to them but i cant do that
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It's so crazy keeping up with the world(news) these days, the amount of things that have happened in such a short period of time lately. As I drove to school this morning, they discussed the possibility of Iran firing missiles at Israel. As soon as I get in my car to drive home, Iran literally retaliated as soon as I turned the radio on. It's all moving so fast
#i miss my middle eastern politics class#its so crazy to think i took that last semester: oh hopefully itll still be relevant!#and now its getting increasingly more tense and dire and i dont have that class as an outlet anymore :/#it was crazy walking in there twice a week like. uhhhhhhhh so what happened#and back then it felt like a lot and now i cant even imagine what it would be like now#i remember the whole thing w israel attacking tehran happened#that was obviously very we walked into class like okay so what happened this wknd#now that event just feels so idk???? not that bad??? comparatively???#i miss that class bcs i liked hearing my prof's takes on it#bcs we're learning abt all this history/context and its developing in real time irl#so id be interested now what he thinks 😭 cause listening to the news isnt enough to grasp it ig#bcs back when tehran was attacked he was like: ....i dont know what to say#so how about now??????#npr made a timeline of whats happened in the past week or so. so fucking insane#i just cant even imagine how he'd address ALL of this#bcs multiple new developments occur every single day. its so scary#also sry cant keep the politics discussion within its getting so much and i dont know where to talk abt it :/#it was interesting reading on reddit but OMG so horrifically biased i cant touch it anymore#also it drives me a bit crazy that theres so many people who just dont pay attention to it AT all#catie.rambling.txt
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if kab wanted a clown replacement hannah is perfectly capable of (and would possibly be even happy with) fulfilling that role idk why she seems to be going after zam who she didnt even have positive rapport with before the yap yesterday
#mine.txt#kab#and pedestaling him is crazy#hes always been open about the fact that his oath is based on his own principles and that hes fine with ppl fighting each other#even the ones who fight for no reason as long as it isnt at spawn#like theres a reason he didnt give a shit about the blindfold alliance's crimes and even allied with them#before they turned into griefers#and why he was a non-interfering party in both revenge killings and out of spawn killings#even when he clarified his reasons to kab he specified that hed defend innocent players who were killed for no reason#kab is neither an innocent player nor was she killed for no reason#like bruh she killed derap right after; zams not gonna enact revenge for her cause shes clearly capable of doing so#like shes not helpless and deraps not like mane in the slightest; kab is Not helpless in this situation#like girl his priorities have always been different from the rest of the server#thats not about to change just cause you think it should#idk if this is a new member vs old member belief clash or what#cause like i feel like its obvious zam wouldnt interfere with a kind of spat thats perfectly normal on the server#esp since it didnt happen in spawn#like if they were teammates sure but they arent teammates#idk why she thought they were teammates before but regardless zam cleared up the fact that they werent teammates#cause like maybe shes like pbaj last season where she just hasnt internalized the fact that for lifesteal to be functional#there has to be conflict and killings and that sometimes that conflict comes from long standing grudges#like i hate to say it but if youre teamed with someone at the time of the grudge happening youre gonna be lumped in with that grudge#also by her own logic isnt hannah killing derap unfair too since he was an indirect reason why their team was killed#and that hannah shouldve gone after mane instead?#(who has been tormenting not just her but the whole mice team for a certain span of time before the others went inactive btw)#maybe zam should say that by innocent players he means helpless ones maybe thatll get her off his back
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can you believe they just. they just filmed it and then kept it a secret for four years. do you think they have more. do they have more plans
#I KNOW THIS SHORT WAS MEANT TO BE LIKE. ONE-OF-A-KIND THING LIKE IT WAS MOSTLY JUST AN ACCIDENT#THAT THEY COULD FILM IT AND SUCJ#LIKE THEY COULDN'T BRING IN OTHER ACTORS BUT UM UH#they just cannot they CAN NOT leave graceland like that its TOO good to just be left like that#like someone please give aaron the budget and the crew and the equipment and all the stuff and let him do the graceland revival#i know he can do it#and we know he also hasnt forgotten about graceland HE STILL CARES ABOUT IT DEARLY SO UM#idk its just so crazy to get these news AND IT JUST FEELS SO SO SO HUGE LIKE THEY EVEN CAME UP WITH THIS SHORTS OWN TITLE#NEXTLAND!!!!!!!! THEY COULD'VE JUST GONE WITH LIKE “GRACELAND: 21 MONTHS LATER” BUT NOOOOO#im so so so grateful to them for doing and releasing it and i dont know but like. it feels like it wont end just here#maybe eventually we will get another short#and then one day the actual revival#im sorry im being Emotional. i just love graceland so much and i care about it deeply and i love these people i love this cast and i miss#them with all my heart. im so actually glad for this short im literally going to think about it for the next few months#anyway yeah WE'RE SO BACK
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i don't like season three when viewing it as a continuation of seasons one and two, but i do very much like season three when viewing it as the prequel to seasons four and five... hmmmmm.
#rewatching it bc i wanted to make another foreshadowing compilation post for myself regarding what will's actions will#likely be in season five re: vecna and lmao. so many things are just... it's like. it makes me laugh how In Your Face it is now#that we know all that we know. so many direct parallels both with dialogue and actions. mike/will/lucas/el foreshadowing their s4 roles.#the flaying of the holloways and the creels. the dormancy / activation shit. the building shit. the natural progression of their arcs.#the different ways that their characters approach problem solving and how we see tht reinforced by s4. it's so fascinating#genuinely i think idk it was just such a big culture shock i guess u could say from 1 and 2 that it was hard to digest on its own for me#but now that 4 is in the same vein it's like Oh. Okay. Yeah no. I get it now. That's cool. I'm forever bitter but I get it and respect it.#3 4 and 5 are a package deal considering they also said 4 was like part 1 of 5.#it also makes sense bc the point of 3 was that everyone was changing and building themselves in a new way and that#includes vecna so. just so fascinating how they link everything and how their vision is so consistent with certain plots and characters#like. the lucas max mike n will + el involvement is right there. the idea that they have to kill vecna and not just his puppets is right#there. that 2nd point starts in season two but three is where it really turns into an ''the end justifies the means'' situation#(especially for will which i think is something a lot of people overlook but—)#s3 is painful when considering their personal character arcs but fucking delicious when considering the overarching supernatural vecna plot#bc thts also when he starts his ''there is no stopping this'' shtick and actually enters the story#and he's fucking slimy lol. which i Love#anyway. omg first i defended mike in the rain fight and now i'm saying i kind of like season three who the FUCK am i!!!!!#crazy what feeling the need to defend a white boy's honor will do to you 😳
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landlords PLEASE die horrendous fiery deaths why are they literally doubling our rent and getting past rent control by only starting to document our rent prices after the first half of the increase 😐 kill yourself right now
#we've been here for 10 years and paid rent in cash and now theyre like oh you're paying a lot less rent than others in the area#first of all NO SHIT WHY ELSE WOULD BE STAY HERE but also 1.3k to 2k to 2.7k within 6-7 months is CRAZY YOURE INSANE DIE DIE DIE DIE#and i cant get a job bc my moms getting surgery next week so i have to stay home and take care of her and cook#AND my dads on unemployment :) so thanks#our food stamps are in the process of being approved so hopefully we'll have a semi stable income for food soon#idk. i needed to rant somewhere im so mad#we're considering moving out and getting a new place w the neighbors who theyre also increasing rent for#and who also have their main income source out of a job rn bc thats just how trucking is in january#but they have a daughter in elementary school how do you do that and not feel like a spineless asshole#this isnt even your HOUSE its your moms!!!!! and she was a million times less of an asshole#shes actually the one that kept our rent the same but she moved to latam like! do you think shes fucking proud of you! shes NOT#anyways if you see me post my v mo and p pal soon this is why
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also its so dumb that one of the arguments ppl have against a sims 5 is that theyve already invested too much money into 4. like yes its fucking scummy that ea charges so much for dlc and its Ludicrous the amt sims 4 costs if you have all the dlc and its going to keep getting more and more expensive but . to be honest . why are you paying for sims packs. im sry
#ik not everyone can pirate i get it and its your money do what you want#but itis your choice to invest so much into like. a sinking ship DJRNFJFNG. idk....#i want 2 be optimistic and believe that somehow they WILL be able to fix every single issue with ts4#but i honestly believe thats require them to take an extended break from releasing new packs and shit#and i genuinely honestly dont think theyll do that. lol.#but like. i think itd be a good idea like. Cut down on new releases and focus on fixing the base game and then pack refreshes#bc itd be rly cool to have like. pack refreshes to make them more fleshed out#but also like. sigh. it rly does come down to the packs bc i judt genuinely find it kind of disgusting how little is in each pack#and how many of the packs could be consolidated#genuinely earnestly feel like growing together and parenthood shouldve been one pack. like. and honestly throw hsy in there...#hsy could do with a refresh Badd ik its fairly new but oh my god the school is so fucking buggy#and in general like. IDK. id rly love the packs to be refreshed and id love love love More fucking lots in the worlds oh my god. multiple#worlds have literally 4 lots. Thats fucking actually insane it makes me crazy#i get like. ooh bc you can travel between worlds the worlds can be smaller but i hate it 😭😭😭#i think its just bc i grew up playing 3 perhaps but like. i rly loved like. idk when i choose to play in a sims world i want to play in tha#world. i dont want to have to like. i live in moonwood mills (5 lots .) and thej i have to go to like. san myshunonif i want to go to a bar#or whatever. is there a bar in san myshuno idr#IDKIDK. i feel like Innnn my opinion there should be like. at least 1 of the basegame lot types for every world maybe with some exceptions#and there should be enough empty slots ppl can fill it out more if they want...#but also like. idk. i suppose it wouldnt affect me much bc i usually stay on my home lot as much as possible#bc of the loading screens#it wouldnt be so bad if like. idk. i understand why they didnt wanna do open world like ts3#well i dont its fucking actually stupid. but i get that ts4 wasnt supposed to be what it is and it wasnt built to be a longrunning game.#hence why ts5 should happen instead as a Strong Foundation BUT WHATEVER but like. yk. and ik im not the only person in the world and other#ppl want different but i feel like maybe you could have options .. idk. im not a programmer#but itd be cool to have some sort of way to toggle between like. open world semi open world and closed world#where itd be like. ts3 style where the exteriors of everything r there but the interiors r loaded in when u visit (if that is how ts3 works#i may be a bit off) nd closed would be ts4 style Loading screen to go . next door#am i misremembering or are there even loading screens between like. the new apartments with forrent.... there were for the city living ones#skull Fuckk i ran out of space
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#bruh this t*eil news is fucking me UP!!!!!#for so many reasons#mostly bc its making me paranoid. i already was 👀 bc of all this news lately popping off about korean men#i was like 'wait...exo are korean 👀🤨😬' and this coming out of NOWHERE!!!! oooooooh my goooood bruh#i had to listen to please please please by sabrina carpenter and that shit hit TOOOOO hard#this is so crazy like a big fear of mine and why im so hesitant to trust men theyre so scary man#AND literally while watching yeols live last night i was fangirling but when i found myself giggling too hard my mind was like#'girl you dont know this nigga fr...what if hes...?' and then id get scared lol 😩#yet in the same breath....#chanyeol cant catch a damn break broooo like this news dropping on the day of his album release is killllling meeeeee#this debut is such a mess and i hope that he doesnt get effected by it the same way the other nct members are#lord help us all#i feel i have more to say but this is the main shit. like my brain is whirling and im getting really freaked out idk its just chilling#the world is a sick place frfr. and ig always just be prepared for the worst when it comes to your faves cause you really never know#anyways gonna listen to yeols album. the mv was cute but damn the song is so short 😭#justice for yeol 😔✊🏾#.#inner mono
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ik ive not been active at all anyways sort of explanation/me complaining in tags
#i have gotten progressively worse lately in terms of physical health and its just taken a lot out of me tbh#over the past few months ive developed chronic pain and fatigue drs still arent sure if its fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue but whatev#in any case ive been in tremendous pain everywhere it's not been fun at all#i also have this new thing where i get a tremor if i hold things too hard and while it is relatively painless it still is making life harde#esp since i am an art student so im kind of stuck not rly knowing what to do atp#ive just not been in the best mindset and while i recognise that disability is not ugly in any way i do just feel harder to love now#like i dont think my personality is fun enough to make up for all this idk if that makes any real sense#ive also been temporarily put on birth control its a long story but it's only until i get scheduled for a minor surgery most probably#but yanno birth control has unfun side effects and i feel like im going crazy most days#ik this all probably sounds pretty silly but idk. its been hard to feel genuinely attractive lately.#forgot to add this but there was some other stuff that happened thats definitely effecting just my self image and libido and stuff lately#long story short someone i trusted ended up crossing multiple physical boundaries and passed uncomfortable comments abt me and similar shit#its not been fun to deal with in any way yk?
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yahoo!!!!!
#next week banned from running far or hard (except for track workout). RECOVERY WEEK!!!#Week after that I'm on vacation...yay!!#Today's run actually was super nice but I only was like super in the zone miles like... 7-10 and the rest was good but i was definitely lik#having to. Focus#This is crazy tho to me that i can be running an easy comfortable pace and it's around 10...im always saying this but like it's TRUE#THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE!!!#Idk if it's just... That im a little older or im in the best shape of my life or what. Its Def in part how flat some of my routes r.#But still... My hometown is insanely flat and I've never run like this there lol#Tetrapod runs#Oh one other thing#I don't feel like im consuming enough calories on my long runs which is new for me also!!#I think bc it's so. Humid.... I'll drink my whole pack but I just don't rlly want to eat...#Like i think i consumed. Like 450 calories on this run (a oat bar and 2 gu). And i had brought also some candy but didn't eat it#been more into solids than the gels lately also#So hopefully this ish will be remedied simply by it getting cooler in the fall. If not... We'll see!#Also jdjdjd the sweat stains today were crazyyyyyyy.
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♡
#starting to believe that maybe all this while i've been punishing myself by isolating myself from people who care abt me#like there have been times when i felt that friends just didnt care. also been times i felt too ashamed to ask for help or seek company#but i think i just gotta give myself grace like . i'm human. it's fine to seek platonic connection n a listening ear. it's Normal#anw so!! i met my best friend for yoga (for the first time!) yday n we talked SO MUCH!! we talked about life careers sexuality relationshi#i also told her about smth that has been plaguing me for two days. specifically my ex ahgkhgjgjns n . talking about it really helped me#what a shocker!!!! that talking about your worries n feelings helps!!! ksggfjsnjkgnjkndg#n i learnt so many new things about her... we usually meet in a group n it's always just a roulette of quick life nuggets#but yday i realised that i never really found out what she's really been up to. i've not had a one-to-one conversation with her in ages!!#thats crazy considering that we're such good friends.... omg. n so it really made me see how much i craved that connection#n how much i'm tormenting myself by isolating myself and depriving myself of the joy that i tend to get from deep social connections :(#n i think maybe it's time to start putting that past self who was too ashamed to reach out for help behind me#idk its been really nice talking to an old friend n being 100% comfortable u know?? it made me realise how much i missed deep connections#my point is i've missed this!!!!! maybe i should do it more!!!!!#personal
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