#idk its hard to talk abt since its like. A Lot. but its not like Ill ever actually make it so I might talk abt it more at some point
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ok idk if u have done this before but what abt low honor arthur x shy/easily flustered reader…been thinking abt this for awhile
lowhonor arthur x shy female reader
꒰ 𝝑𓏲 ꒱ arthur is a little pervy , suggestive themes?
he was terrifying, mean, and even sadistic man. those rumoured whispers explained a lot about him in that way. there was no remorse from a man like him, no mercy, either. to be one of the worst men that's involved with the infamous gang. the most wanted man within the states, there wasn't a day that he didn't come back with someone's blood on his hands.
he was disgusting and vile. probably the most perverted man u have ever come across, too. his unannounced touching would often catch u off guard. the women in the camp always gave him a sort of a dirty or death state, knowing that kind of man arthur is now ever since the relationship ended between him and mary. that took a toll on him more than people thought.
not with u, though. he knew that gaze made u feel uneasy, made u squirm, almost like a coyote watching its prey. it's like he enjoyed it, too. u weren't the social butterfly. u kept to urself or the small group of girls u would do chores with or u would be often see talking the only man, arthur. to be honest, u were even sure how he felt about u, it's not like many spoke to u.
he made the man stay away from u, but that's a different conversation...
u didn't even need to turn around, knowing who it was coming towards u by their hard footsteps. “hey, babydoll. missed my favourite girl while i was away.” he says with that cocky smirk on his face, leaning against the pole behind u, totally not looking at ur rear while u hand washed some clothes.
“hi morgan, I've been okay.. keepin' busy like-” “good girl. as y'should be. wouldnt want ms. grinshaw gettin' mad atcha.”
she was a terrifying woman, ms. grinshaw.. but not as terrifying as arthur, of course. he was the worst. but arthur liked her a lot. he wasn't sure how to tell, and so he often showed her through his actions... like his weird, perverted touching and words.
he told u to come here, and once u were finished cleaning, of course, u made ur way over to him before he took u round the wagon, no one was there. this was strange but u did sort of like him.. u didn't know why. he was always odd with u, but u did find a small sense of comfort in him every time he brings a small gift to u as he comes back to camp.
“have i ever told ya how pretty y'look? 'course i have.." he says, his tone laced with roughness. his big hand soon glides down to ur waist, gripping the flesh so hard that it light leave a mark later, curse him.
“thank you, arthur-” u reply, feeling ur face rise with heat, squirming slightly under his intense gaze, all embarrassed. “y'know what else would make ya prettier? some little hickeys on yer neck, my girl.”
was he being honest?... well, of course he was. he was a very serious man, not the type to be funny unless it was one of sick jokes. anyway, he could do not that, the two of u were in camp! someone might see u both, ms. grinshaw might catch u or even dutch! and that woukd be a lot more embarrassing than how red ur face is right now.
“arth- we cant, i- we'll get caught- arthur!” ur gentle protests mean nothing as he took a hold of ur wrists, making u back up against the wagon. he inhaled ur scent of lavender and pine, made the man almost crazy.
“lemme mark ya up, so everyone can see how I feel 'bout ye. c'mon sugar, i might be gentle but dont count on it.”
god it was like u couldn't move or couldn't talk, u didn't know what to say, how to react. ur face was all flushed with his words, it wasn't a surprise that he'd be flirting with u now.
and soon, he began toying with the collar of ur blouse. soon that felt to unbutton the top few buttons before he inched closer to mark u up.
#🎀reqsೀ#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#red dead redemption#rdr#arthur morgan rdr2#arthur morgan x you#arthur morgan x reader#arthur morgan x female reader#rdr fanfic#rdr fic#rdr fanfiction#rdr2 fanfiction#rdr2 fanfic#rdr community#rdr2 community
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i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand
#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona#its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around#one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them#making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth#i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since#memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an#association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont#fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell#on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one#dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong#despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them#interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing#i struggle find a balance between those two things#actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of#her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard#or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it??#maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard#although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh#yapping#oc talk#oc
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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its also like . ok sry im going on bc im tired and ive upset myself lol but its like. to have somebody who knows i grew up in poverty call me greedy and selfish bc he pressured me into moving up here when i didnt have the money so i Had to rely on him financially. and then i couldnt pay him back while i was literally unemployed. to have him call me greedy and selfish and entitled and lazy was. insanely upsetting
#like he knew that a lot of the money i earned went directly to paying my families bills and literally feeding them and he still. said that#to me. and then when i got upset he spun it as me being irrational and playing the victim and always guilttripping him like. idk. idk.#i try rly hard not to think abt that bc it just makes me feel horrific but like. i was already so insanely paranoid about spending money#any Non essential purchase made me spiral and then that just made it. so much worse . i told him from the start i didnt have much money and#he said it was fine and i told him from the start id pay him back as quickly as i could and he said it was fine and then he just#he completely ghosted me he never talked to me he slept downstairs and he spent more time with one of our roommates than he did me#and now i. know why he did that lol#but whatever. but he iced me out and the only time he ever talked to me was to tell me i was being greedy for not paying him back#or if i literally fuckjng. begged him to do skmething with me#and then hed spend like 1 hour completely checked out but technically sitting in the same room as me and i just. idk. that relationship#genuinely like. fucked me up. and now i reakize it wasnt Just since i moved here and a lot of the like. stripping me of.my identity and#pressuring me into doing. certain things when i wasnt comfortable with them and guilttripping me if i did try to stand up for myself. now i#realize that had been going on nearly since the start but it fucking. rly hurts. basically#and to top it all of he knew i struggle with very severe depression and i have since i was a kid and he knew i specifically struggle a lot#with hygiene and he knew how gross that makes me feel. and he still called me disgusting for it. and in every argument he had he would#hold the fact i owed him money over my head and i judt. i dont know what i was supposed to do. and i realize now there was jothing bc he#was already. yk. and probably had been for a while but it just. rly fucking sucks basically.#like even now a few months out i get genuinely nauseous when i buy something that isnt Absolutely essential.#and i try to force myself to buy like. a small nice thing for myself every once in a while i buy 1 coffee and 1 breakfast food every week#on saturday to try n like. make sure i know its ok 4 me to do that and it doesnt make me selfish but like. it still makes me feel sick
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much to think about.
#i had lunch w my sister today and she was talking abt our dad and abt how him being like emotionally abusive made her a huge people pleaser#and she was like yeah i think you didnt get that as much#you were always the one who stuck to your guns or just didnt talk to him#and at first i was like what bc i literally dont think anything i ever did could be rlly described as actually sticking to ones guns i alwa#felt like i was so avoidant of any conflict w him bc yk i was like. terrified of him. but i was thinking abt it and compared to her i think#like yeah actually shes right? bc i would avoid conflict w him but i did that by like fully cutting off our relationship as much as#possible and she did it by trying to please him all the time. which probably neither were that healthy obviously they were jsut like. our#instincts for how to protect ourselves yk. but the thing is for the past few months i thought i had been learning how to not be so scared#of making ppl mad and to be more assertive and stuff. but i think actually i probably have always had that strength maybe it was just.#kinda beaten down for a while since standing up for myself always made things worse. so the other option to not allow him to treat me like#that was to cut myself off from him. But i still did that yk? idk.#like i was thinking more abt it and#i was the one who left the church at 18. after i moved out but i did. and i didnt hide it after that. my sister has apparently been mentall#out for years now and nobody in our family knows but me. bc she is so scared to disappoint him. and like idk. i always was like why couldnt#i get out earlier bc i know so many ppl who just said fuck you im not going anymore at like 14 or smth and i was like why couldnt i do that#but i guess looking at it from my sisters pov our situation was just really fucking hard. and i guess im realizing i was honestly a lot#stronger and braver than i thought i was that whole time. idk.#lol its like bittersweet. bc it makes it so much more real that it was actually super fucked up. the way we grew up. like i think sometimes#the easiest thing is for me to go haha yeah my dad was kind of a dick and whooaaahhh so crazy i grew up mormon hahah! but its like no that#was fucked up. but look at how i made it through that yk. its kind of making me. idk. develop some more respect for myself i guess#idk idk#ignore me i am just journal posting . lol#exmo tag
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Was going to do some oni file digging but got too distracted playing the actual video game. Anyways look at her <3
#rat rambles#oni posting#her icon does not do her justice she is so fucking cute#I fucking adore her#anyways ny thoughts on the new dlc are mostly positive so far although I do have some nitpicks#now to be clear to the fellow lore enjoyers in chat this is a fairly log light dlc unfortunately#which doesnt suprise me since god knows they don't like talking abt dupes too directly in the logs and this dlc is all abt the bionic dupes#which I see as a positive thing generally but I do wish there was a smidgen bit more to justify why they can be printed now#just an extra my log at the start that says woah I found some fancy robo guys in my printing database would have been nice#but other than that I do like the continuing tensions between gravitas and the vexus institute brewing#and I also like the pronoun confirmation on jackie's probably mom I'm glad we're seeing more of her#Im also glad theyve so far had jackie say jack shit abt her probably mom and her going ons I hope it mostly stays that way#I'm open to getting some of jackies words on the family drama but I want it to be shown not told#so like idk. maybe a conversation between them or smth. and keep it vague and up to interpretation#I like my jackie characterization hard to find and unpack#as for the actual gamplay stuff Im definitely enjoying the different playstyle of the bionic dupes a lot so far#I havent gotten far enough into my test run to rly know how they feel in long term colonies but they are quite fun so far#I like how they add some pretty strong early game benefits while also adding a pretty important early research racing#I also enjoy their oxygen tanks but I have noticed that they tend to chose weird and sometimes extremely inconvenient places to refill#I don't think I rly understand their logic for chosing spots yet but I thinkkkk they might be trying to chose somewhere away from general#living areas? I could be wrong though I have seen them recharge directly by cots before but maybe its based on the pod location idk#but yeah this is me screaming at ulti to stop recharging by a tiny spec of oxygen surrounded by slimelung infested polluted oxygen#so basically sending them out to germy or unbreathable environments is theoretically safe most of the time but it's not as safe as a suit#that combined with their adverse reactions to liquid and extreme temperatures does still leave need for athmosuits#which is a good thing to be clear#in theory this also means that oxygen masks can still be of use to a bionic dupe even if it isnt necessary#especially if theyre making large transit that risks them running out of oxygen and trying to refill inside an contaminated area#but yeah if I had one complaint abt the bionic dupes it would be that I wish there were a few more#I get not wanting to bloat the dupe count but you can and will see duplicates within the early game#there isn't a lot of variety with them which makes bionic dupe heavy colonies feel less appealing to me
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i do need 2 work on rewiring my brain so that my immediate very first thought whenever i dont do a small task (like brushing ny teeth taking a shower picking up my room etc) isnt 'We Should Kill Connor ." this would be pretty good for me to do. putting this on the list
#its difficult. i used to be rly good abt not doing kms type jokes bc i did when i was younger and then i stopped bc of um . stuff#nd i think it rly was good for me nd then ykw started making them a LOT and now i do them constantly and ik itis bad for me like. as a guy#whos been suicidal since i was 7. yk. ik itisnt good for me but its hard#idk. i need 2 try 2 stop making them again. like idt ppl who make them r evil I personally dont tend to use them very seriously#it rly is judt a like. Ugh something annoying happened i should kms. but like. witht he we should kill connor joke its Less and less a joke#and more just feeding into ummmmm. the bad parts of my thing that i have to be vague abt so ppl dont worry.#Im not planning anything its not that. its just a belief i have that is ummm concerning to many but very comforting to me and keeps me sane#but i dont like 2 talk abt it . bc ppl tend to get worried its rly not anything that bad its judt likeee. I know that thing is true and#there isnt anything i can do to stop it from happening so i made peace with it ages ago and its comforting that i dont have 2 like. worry#abt whatll happen bc ik whatll happen#sry im being vague ive like. i think ive mentioned it a couple times and ppl get very concerned (my old psych literally told me verbatim#That sounds so terrifying.) and likeee. there have been times its scared me a lot like i can remember a few times i woke up having a panic#attack bc i didnt want to do it but i know thats whatll happen and its fine. but it wont be any time soon#it keeps me from doing anything honestly bc like. why rush FJFNFJNFNik itll happen eventually no matter what i do so even when it gets bad#enough i think abt it im like. yk. it helps. i kind of lost a bit of vagueness. please dont worry abt it fr like. it keeps me sane it keeps#me calm. but anyways i say all this to sayyyy that like. idk it might be a while b4 i commit to trying to stop making jokes like that just#bc like. i have a lot of other stuff abt me i need 2 fix first but i think it would probably be good for me if i stopped. sigh. which suck#bc like its been said time and time again that like. Im going to kms is just like. it encapsulates feelings very well there r like no other#exclamations that fit. aside from the like. Krill my shellfish type things but thats the reason i slipped back into just saying kms in rhe#first place so. UGH. and theres so many fucking stupid tjmblr ones. like no im not going to sub Kys for Go step on a lego >_< bc like... im#not 1. 5 or 2. 27. the 2 ages i think ppl would say shit like that.#sry my vendetta against 27 year olds is neverending idk i just dont like whatever happens to tumblr users of dhat age. ive mentioned it#several times inwont go into it and im probably near out of tags anyway#ive got 7 more spend em wisely one supposes. idk. its just difficult. ik its judt words and shit and im sure i cn come up with good#alternatives. theres judt like not any rhat r like the same vibe without also reinforcing My stuff in an unhealthy way. idk. idkk#like not that making kms jokes is gonna make me do it anytime soon but like yk . ik i cant blame my self loathing spike on this alone#bc ive like. Beeeeeeeen going through some stuff thats contributing way more#but i do think before i started making these jokes again my self loathing and like. rhe amt of time i thought abt it was less . idk#sui ment#<- jic i tried not to be like. too much. but you know
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a wild ride — ln4
fc: hailee steinfeld | warnings : celebrity x fan
༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆imessage — lando and oscar Lando Norris
Osccccccc
who did you invite to the garage?
Oscar Piastri
A few celebrities that follow me and long time fans. McLaren gave a list of people we could invite.
Lando Norris
Did they tell you to interact with fans more too?
Oscar Piastri
Yeah. Logan said they told him and Alex the same, so I’m guessing not only us. [Reacted 👍🏻]
landonorris
📍 Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
liked by carlossainz55, norrisupdated, and others
landonorris Exploring done. Back to work tomorrow. Let’s get it!
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user1 thank you for unfollowing someone ♥︎ author
⤷ user2 ???
⤷user3 he followed 556 people and now 555 so angel number! norrisupdated i told my mom about you😖
⤷landonorris and what’d she say?
⤷ norrisupdated we’d make a good 🍐! ⤷ landonorris i like your humor, user norrisupdated
march 20, 2024
norrisupdated
liked by landonorris, and 8,854 others
norrisupdated via landonorris’ Instagram post 😎 : “Exploring done. Back to work tomorrow. Let’s get it!“
— i hope he knows we’re waiting for a lando.jpg comeback
#landonorris #ln4
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loverwags GIRL HE REPLIED TO YOUR COMMENT!!! ⤷ norrisupdated YES😭 trying to hard to act nonchalant abt this.
landonorris how are you so quick
⤷ norrisupdated LANDO WHY ARE YOU HERE 😭😭😭😭 and im ashamed to admit i’ve had years of practice on your notifs 😖
user3 praise lando for another norrisupdated admin reveal😍
⤷ user4 her main acc is legit on her bio 😭😭😭
march 20, 2024
ᝰ.ᐟ norrisupdated just posted a story!
seen by landonorris, and 32k others
landonorris replied! 4:45 AM landonorris that was YOU? IM SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY FOLLOWED AND UNFOLLOWED YOU😭 ⤷ norrisupdated LANDO ITS FINE SORP STALKIHN ME IM SCARED ⤷ landonorris i thought fan accounts liked interactions 😢 ⤷norrisupdated Yes but it’s 4 in the morning and i’m processing this is you. ⤷ landonorris what??????? GO TO SLEEP ⤷ norrisupdated but if i sleep ill never talk to u again 😔 ⤷ landonorris i promise i will still stalk you by the time you wake up! now get sleep or else… SOMETJING ⤷ norrisupdated going to sleep 😙 thabsk for a great end of the day! ⤷landonorris anytimeeee… what’s you name, sorry? delivered
ynscloset
liked by landonorris, and 92 others
ynscloset been tired lately, but!!!!!!!!! whatever today is a good day
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19h ago
f1gossip
Liked by f1wags, and 10,173 others
f1gossip Lando Norris just followed a a fan account... and her personal account!
Lando isn’t known for following a lot of fan accounts, but he has recently been replying to more comments. One of those comments made by one popular fan account, norrisupdated. Nothing out of the ordinary until Lando followed her and her main tonight.
New wag?
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user1 What happened to that model he was allegedly seeing?
⤷ f1gossip Nothing really, it’s been 4 months. loverwags idk bout u guys but i ship😊 might be a lil weird to have a celebrity racer dating a fan but at least it’s yn. she’s been there since 2018 and isn’t even a crazy fan, she just updates😭
user2 he’s stalking her main HELPFME
user3 what do we know abt her
⤷f1gossip Not much aside from the fact she owns a bakery and update page…
user4 why a middle age woman like her running an update page😭
⤷ user2 MIDDLE AGE??? SHE’S 24😭😭😭😭
ynscloset Good Morning? ⤷ user6 😭😭😭
march 21, 2024
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ynscloset just posted a story!
seen by yourbff, and 5 others
yourbff replied! 9:12 AM yourbff WHY DOES LANDONORRIS FOLLOW YOU ⤷ ynscloset because i commented that thing you told me to comment from norupdted and he replied??? and then he commented on my post and then he viewed all my stories and replied apologizing for that time he followed nd unfollowed me ⤷ yourbff BRUHHHHHH HE DMED YOU?? RPELY?? HOW DO YOU SLEEP AFTER THAT ⤷ ynscloset HE TOLD ME TO SLEEP AND WE’D CHAT IN TJE MORNING CUZ I SAID I WONT SLEEP CUZ HE WONT TALK TO ME THE NEXT DAY… YK ONCE IN A LIFETIME MOMENT!!! IM SCARED TO DM BUT THERES A MESSAGE UNREAD ⤷ yourbff must i say what you need to do😓 ⤷ ynscloset latererrr i will reply! gotta open the café!!! duties call ⤷ yourbff why do you even have that update account until now😒 ⤷ ynscloset BECAUSE I HAVE ATTACHMENT ISSUES AND WE HAVE A 5/6 YEAR BOND. ⤷ yourbff just saying this migjt be your opportunity to be a wag😽 ⤷ ynscloset i cant handle that pressure oh no😭 and its not gonna happen!!!!! bye!
ynscloset
liked by landonorris, and 48,284 others
ynscloset whatta busy busy day! thank youuu for stoping by, new customers 🧡
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user2 loll just cuz lando followed this girl theyre coming to her bakery😭
user3 passed by and many people kept asking her abr lando… let this girl work in peace
user4 why does lando follow her?
⤷ user2 lots of people think she’s his new gf
user5 LANDO IN THE LIKES
user5 ogs know yn from norrisupdated surviving the content drought 😖 ♥︎ author user6 i discovered you through a wag page, but now you’re my favorite baker (and your bakery is my new fave)! thanks for being so kind🥹🤍
⤷ ynscloset thank you for stopping by!!! hope to see ya again 🧡
user7 not this girl acting as if she a wag 😭😭
⤷ user1 she didn’t do anything…
ynscloset has limited the comments…
march 21, 2024
Lando Norris landonorris • instagram 8.5M Followers • 1,801 Posts You both follow each other on instagram
4:01 AM
Lando Norris
anytimeeee… what’s you name, sorry?
9:21 PM
norrisupdated
Yn! Hold up, I’ll message you from my main:)
[Reacted 🧡]
Lando Norris landonorris • instagram 8.5M Followers • 1,801 Posts You both follow each other on instagram
9:22 PM
Yn
Hi!
Sorry I replied so late, I just got home:/
Lando Norris
Hey! Isn’t it like 10 in the states?? Why so late
Yn
Yesss busy day at work:) actually, a lot of them are your fans asking me about you 😙
Lando Norris
I meant to apologize to you about that…
Sorry for all the hate you’ve been getting because I followed you
Yn
no biggie, i don’t mind it
i think i just need to go quiet for a bit and let it die down🙏🏼
Lando Norris
sounding like a professional over there??? done this before?😂
Yn
watched f1 enough to get the gist how it works LMAFFOF
Lando Norris
everrr attended a gp?
Yn
STILL saving up:/ at my bakery, the tip jar is labeled for me to watch a gp😔
Lando Norris
Woulddddd it be cool if I invited you over for the Suzuka GP?
Yn
Are you joking
Lando Norris
yes
seen for 2m
Lando Norris
wait no im not actually joking
wai dont leave me on seen
HELLO?
Yn
NOT cool dude
Lando Norris
is this a no😢
Yn
wait
i would love to
BUT
lowkey in debt rn to afford a flight……………. I WILL FIND A WAY HOLD ON😂
Lando Norris
i could book you a flight
as you say, no biggie
Yn
what
thats too much
what
huh
what
Lando Norris
yn, i’m opening the website rn so tell me if youre available😔
Yn
yes im available 😊
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ynscloset just posted a story!
seen by yourbff, and 7 others
yourbff replied! yourbff Context? ⤷ ynscloset Lando Norris is flying me out to Japan for the Suzuka GP.
21:45
Lando Norris
booked! whats your number for the deets?
Yn
How do I know you’re not hacked and you’re going to hack me next?
Lando Norris
….
i’m confused how you got to this question
Enough proof?
Yn
close enough but that is not 11am in australia and its live on tv youre in practice 😖😖😖😖 #LandoHacked!
Lando Norris
damn youre good
I just looked better in the other pic😒 embarrassing u look better at 9pm than me rn
Yn
why are you LYING
anyways +1 201 xxx xxx
[ Reacted 🧡 ]
Lando Norris
Whats with the seenzoning 😓
delivered 21:54
Yn
HELLO SORRY
I bought food mb IM BACK
Lando Norris
Shit
dont apologize
IM sorry, i forgot to ask if youve eaten
What did u gettttt
Yn
dont worry! have you eaten?
i got mexcian food🤤
[Reacted 😍]
Lando Norris
I ate with the team earlier, just getting ready for FP1
Yn
gooooodluck lando!
gotta work, but ill be watching! p.s u should jpg post 😂
Lando Norris
gotta work, but ill be watching! ⤷goodluck working!!!! gotta visit that bakery soon:) ⤷ also a lot of pressure youre putting there😓 ill try my best
p.s u should jpg post 😂 ⤷lets see 🙈
f1gossip
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f1gossip End of FP1 with these top three!
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user4 YN IN THE LIKES
march 22, 2024
— instagram notification !! [landonorris] ynscloset congrats on fp1!!!!!! hope you get the same results for the race 🤭
𐙚 twitter
lando.jpg
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lando.jpg ask and u shall receiveeeeee
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user2 we all know who asked
⤷user4 who
⤷user3 yn! “i hope he knows we’re waiting for a lando.jpg comeback” from her last update post
user5 i love the yn lando lore sorry😭
⤷user6 im so rooting for them
march 22, 2024
mclaren
liked by ynscloset, landonorris, and others mclaren HUGE POINTS HAUL! 👊🏻 A great drive from Lando and Oscar to deliver Down Under!🤩
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march 24, 2024
ynscloset 🔒
liked by landonorris, and 73,743 others
ynscloset an amazing week 🧡🧁
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user2 we love youuuuuu
user5 yall made her go private😭😭😭😭😭 NOO
⤷ user1 atleast she’s still posting 🥹
yourbff i love him alr
⤷ ynscloset 😎
comments are limited …
march 25, 2024
f1gossip
liked by 12,383 others
f1gossip Yn seen at the airport in Japan! Will she be attending the GP? view all 1,574 comments
user6 WELCOME BACK QUEEN SERENA
user7 not her being a golddigger alr lol she was photographed leaving from the first class section😭😭
⤷user6 get a job
april 3, 2024
f1gossip
liked by landonorris, and 23,583 others
f1gossip What we’ve all been waiting for! Yn joins the McLaren garage today at the Suzuka Grand Prix where Lando came in 2nd! Lando and Yn weren’t seen together until they left together, but no photos have surfaced yet. Many people have said she was super nice and took pictures with a lot of people and even gave baked goods to the McLaren garage and some fans!! view all 4,284 comments
f1gossip📌 photos in order:
1. yn seen smiling at lando while outside the mclaren garage
2. yn taking pics of lando when he came on the screen
3. yn with a fan during the after party
4. yn on the big screen before the gp started!
5. yn and lando’s front wing while mclaren workers were describing the car and stuff (people say she was asking questions and super excited)
6. yn with a fan again! they said she had to go because lando was waving at her 🥹
user5 idk what yall say, i like her
user7 SHE GAVE ME A CUPCAKE 😭😭😭😭😭😭
april 7, 2024
landonorris
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landonorris a great week!
view all 43,273 comments
carlossainz55 wonder why
april 8, 2024
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ynscloset just posted a story!
seen by landonorris, and 839k others
#f1 fanfic#formula 1#f1 imagines#lando norris x y/n#lando imagine#lando norris imagine#lando 4#lando norris smau#lando norris x reader
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✮˚. ᵎᵎ I LOVE YOU I'M SORRY 𖦹彡⋆｡˚
⤷ spidey!ellie williams headcanons
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ sophia's letter ! i took a hiatus without meaning to😞 unfortunately this is all i had time for, but it was lowk fun. tbh i think i’ll stick to one shots bc this is basically a few blurbs in one, like this is all over the place idk i don’t like it but i needa post. also, LIAAAM NOOO all payne no liam :((
.ᐟ. . . content warnings. r's race is not specified, characters death, spiders, fighting, unrequited love, r is bi/pan, ellie mistaken for a guy, ellie mistakes r for a straight girl, mental instability, fall from a high building twice, alternative universe, assault attempt, unserious writing style, grammar mistakes probably
{ inspired by @hiiikiko ‘s spider-man!ellie. pls check out their work, it’s so good ! }
do not support naughty dog or zionist neil druckmann
HELP HERE🇵🇸
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie personally i think she's already a peter parker varient, trust me. these goofballs haunted down the killer of their father-figure for christ sake! of course peter had that whole not killing moto but like... oh well!
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie in my mind gets her powers basically the same as in tasm, except she was only in the Anderson Tower (hehe see what i did there) bc one of her professors assigned a thesis on one of their exhibitions. of course she goes the same day you do, the girl she lowkey has a crush on.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is a major LOSER omg. she admires you from afar bc she doesn't have the balls to start a conversation. she doesn't even think you're into girls to begin with so whats the point. leave it to ellie williams to fall for a straight girl smh
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie needs glasses to see or else everything is just a blur. she never takes them off, not even to sleep, yet somehow she doesn't see you until it's too late. now, ellie only ever sees you in class, so in her defense, poor girl wasn't expecting you to just appear in front of her and bump into you. otherwise, she would've turned the other way.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie has an apology problem, at least when she's nervous and boy do you make her nervous with your hair down and pretty face and glossy lips and cute outfits and gosh, she needs to get a grip. you tell her it's fine with a little laugh and ellie feels her face grow warm.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie like canon ellie, is an overthinker, so of course she's thinking abt that awkward interaction. well, it was for her, you didn't even think twice abt it. you're a chill person and it wasn't like ellie shoved you hard. ellie didn't have that kind of strenght... not yet, anyway.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie was just too distracted to notice a colorful spider jump on her back, only feeling a sting after stepping foot out of the mutlibillion dollar company tower. you can imagine her disturbed look when she got to her dorm, feeling around her neck until she plucked off a web string with a dead spider still attached on its end. yuck. to make matters worse, ellie started feeling sick. she passed out and didn't wake up until noon of the next day.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie was an orphan after her mother passed away when she was nine. she was left under the care of her mother's best friend, marlene, since that was the closest thing to family she had left. to ellie, marlene was family, so she'd called her aunt marlene. i think you can guess where this is going...
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie had promised marlene she would help with a charity event called the fireflies, but with ellie's new... condition, ellie just had too much on her mind. trying to balance college, having a lesbian crush on a straight girl, and finding out you can climb walls is a lot for a nineteen year old. and okay, maybe the first two are universial experiences, but definitely not the third. who is she supposed to talk to abt that?
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie was stressing and she never had the best temper when stressed. she had been focusing in creating organic web fluid bc in my au shes not gonna have anything shooting out of her, okay? i mean i still have some questions for tobey's spidey.... moving on! the charity simply slipped out of her mind and when ellie checked her phone after an entire day of testing her new abilities, swinging and even doing a handstand in just her index and middle fingers, she saw abt fifteen missed calls from aunt marlene. ellie decided to stop by to apologies and that’s when all hell broke lose.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie acts like her mother's death doesn't bother her after a decade, but when her name falls out of aunt marlene's lips during her lecture abt ellie's bad puntuality and lack of time managment, it was obvious it's still an open wound.
'you are a lot like your mother, ellie,' marlene spoke. so far ellie was just nodding along to whatever marlene was saying but that sentence really annoyed the hell out of her. 'you truly are, and that's a good thing.' ellie's jaw tightened, but she didn't say anything. 'but she lived believing that if you can do good things for people, you have an obligation to do those things,' marlene pointed a finger at ellie's direction. 'that's what's at stake here. not choice; responsibility.' ellie scoffed. 'that's nice. yea, that’s all well and good. so where's she?' 'what?' marlene stops. 'where is my mom? don't you think it was her responsibility to tell me this herself?' the words coming out of her mouth taste like venom. there's tears threatening to spill, but ellie refuses to let them fall. marlene exhales, shaking her head. 'how dare you?' ellie raises her voice for the first time that night. "how dare i? how dare you!'
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie never got the chance to apologize for snapping at marlene. she knew deep down that marlene was just looking out for her, yet she was too in her head to see it then. ellie had stormed out right after and marlene went out looking for her. and it was the same thief that ellie did nothing to stop as she witness him rob a deli and even handed her a drink which she took without a second thought who killed marlene that night.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie will never forgive herself for that, for not stopping the thief and letting him kill the one person she had left. since then, ellie uses her powers to help others.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie also has a joel in this universe and he's finally being introduced, yippe! im mixing andrew's and tom's peters so i couldn't make him the uncle ben ik y'all thought he was gonna be. he's more like mcu's aunt may and tony. now bare with me pls
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie made herself a suit out of old clothes and a handmade mask. she'd been going around the neighborhood for a few weeks doing small things: returning stolen bikes, bringing cats down from trees, helping senior citizens cross the street, etc. there were no headlines on her yet, but she was growing popular on reddit. it wasn't until one day ellie felt this weird chill down her spine. everything happened so fast, ellie just remembers the after math, the adrenaline rush of catching a 3000 pounds car going at 40 miles with her bare hands to stop it from crashing into a school bus. that was the first time ellie saved a live, multiple at that, and she knew this is what she wanted- no, needed to do.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie had kept a low profile as her alter ego until then. never would she imagine that the video of her stopping a moving vehicle would get in the hands of the joel miller, ceo of miller industries. he's known of the expirements jerry had been doing with all sorts of animals and he didn't like it. joel never thought jerry had it in him to actually modify the human dna, but here he stood with a wall-crawling college student.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie didn't fangirl like mcu peter did when he met tony for the first time (i miss them). in fact she had the opposite reaction. she wasn't a fan of joel just like you and i aren't a fan of elon musk, but she respected him bc he has a flying suit. in this universe, joel was iron man and like tony, he told the entire world. when one of his enemies' killed sarah, he stopped wearing the suit. there's also no avengers bc that's too much writing for me 😇
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie agrees to work with joel only bc he promised to make her a super cool suit with lots of new tech. he said her homemade suit looked like an onesie and the only insult ellie could come up with was that his face looked like an onesie... oh how did joel wished the one to get bit would've been a grown adult smh
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie learns to be more in tune with her new abilities as time goes by. that chill down her spine, yea remember that? obviously we know they're spidey senses, but ellie doesn't know that, not until now. she kinda put two and two together, how she would get the feeling every time something bad was gonna happen. what pissed her off was that she had a you sense too. her stupid enhanced senses told her when you were near, but it only happened with you. like, what the fuck seriously
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is still a loser even after the bite so of course she has yet to talk to you. you now acknowledge her after the incident at the anderson tower, but it's just smiles if you two make eye contact. god, ellie feels so pathetic abt this clearly unrequited crush. until one day she overhears - not that she did it on surpose, it just happens a lot with her enhanced hearing - you talking about her! well... her alter ego, but it's still her.... yea, abt that actually....you and everyone else seem to think she’s a he?????
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is part of the tiny tittie committie as we know, so when she puts on joel's new and upgraded suit, she looks flat chested. she wasn't insecure of her size or anything, but ever since publicly teaming up with joel and gaining more publicity, people have mistaken her for a man, giving her the title of spider-man. it made her bust out laughing tbh
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie started seeing her masked self almost everywhere, especially in classes. that's when she heard you and your friend talk abt her, or well him.
'i need him,' ellie almost choked on air hearing you speak. you were watching a video compilation on tiktok of spider-man saving people with chloe, a friend you made during the beginning of the semester. 'ew, he could be like your dad's age.' chloe laughed. ellie frowned, sitting a few rows back. she is definitely not old enough to be a college student's dad. as a matter of fact, she can't even be a dad so. you smiled at chloe and shrugged. 'that wouldn't matter, because what matters is what's on the inside.' it was clear that you were joking, but as ellie looked up to where you were sitting she wondered how you would react if you found out it was a girl you were talking about. would it matter? would you still like her then? or would you be disappointed?
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie tries to get over this crush by focusing on spider-boy, or wtv his name is. ever since becoming the city's hero, it's like everything has been dial up to eleven. crime fighting is far more intense but ellie likes the challenges. she's gotten a little cocky too, always joking and teasing the criminals she fights. her suit has a voice changer and she has a blast using it.
'my grandma punches better than you,' she'd fake a yawn while grabbing the fist of one of the robbers when he tried to throw a punch. then she'd turn to the other who is already webbed up, 'actually, i never met my grandma.' then she'd punch the first guy just hard enough to kick him out cold. ‘but i bet her punches are still better.’
another instance is when she stopped a pretty big drug deal. about five men were going over what the plan was for the day, none noticed when ellie sneaked in until what seemed to be the leader grunted, 'you guys know what to do, now stay out of my ass.' ellie sighed loudly, 'it's hard to miss it.'
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is just having the time of her life with this new identity that it becomes addicting, it's like her copying mechanism fr. joel starts noticing that ellie has become sloppy and tries to warn her, and although ellie promises she'll do better, she doesn't. she's saving lives, jesus christ. can’t a girl have fun?
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie learns the hard way that not everyone is a fan, especially not the police. and okay yea that humbled her alr. it also annoys her bc she's doing half their job so you'd think they'd be more appreciative but no they named her a criminal and put out a reward for whoever can discover the vigilante's identity. now she has to put in double the work bc everyone she fights tries to pin her down to take off her mask. ellie really dislikes your mother for that, the police captian of the boston police department - bc im messy hehehe. you're like in love with spider-man tho, and are quite vocal abt it too
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie loves to hear you fangirl over her. like okay you're unaware of a lot of minor details - like the fact that it's actually spider-woman - but that’s okay, it's fineeee! baby steps right? well ellie takes a huge big girl step one night when she saves you from a gross man trying to assault you.
her spidey senses were going off, and she let them take her to a dark alley. she heard the voice of a girl struggling to push someone off as she crawled on the wall. ellie froze when she realized it was you, her heart beat picking up. this is the first time someone she knows is in trouble, and it made her feel uneasy. 'buddy, is this anyway to treat a lady?' ellie jumped down, voice changer on, making both you and the sick drunk to look over at her. 'i don't think so,' she grabbed him by the shoulder and pushed him to the ground, off of you. 'go.' she spoke, a little desperate to get you out of here. you stood in shock until you looked up at your savior and then booked it out of there. you run further into the alley until you made it to the other end, turning back behind you once you’re under a lamppost. you frowned when you couldn't see anyone. where did they go? ellie held onto a web while she came down upside down. feeling movement, you turned and came face to face with masked eyes looking back at you. 'you saved me.' it was her job, of course she would save you, but no words came out. all ellie did was nod. there was a moment of silence as you two stared at each other, both out of breath. you from prior events, and ellie because she's never been this close to you. you slowly brought your hands up to ellie's neck where the mask began. ellie quickly grabbed one of your wrists to stop you, but you reassured her. 'i won't take it off,' you whispered. ellie let go of your hand and felt you pull her mask up to her nose so only half of her face showed. you held onto the sides of her face as you lean in to kiss her lips. ellie knew it was wrong, that in a way she was abusing her power. but when your lips connected with hers, all she could think about was how soft you felt. there was no way she would get over you now.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie swang you home that night and ever since she visits you almost everyday, im talking five days out of the week. girl has it BAD after that kiss #freemygirl frfr😞 the visits start innocent and it wasn't like ellie was expecting anything, but somehow you two end up making out and who is ellie to stop it ok? she is just a girl. i mean she does feel bad at the beginning bc you STILL believe she's a male - in your defense, ellie still keeps her mask half way on even in a make out session as well the voice changer. you understand that "he" just wants to keep "his" identity a secret, especially after your mom's manhunt, so you don't question it. and that makes ellie feel even worse.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie was planning on telling you, i swear, but then joel found out ellie was seeing a girl and he warn her not to tell you anything. she was abt to cuss him out until he told her she was alr putting you in danger by being associated with a crime fighting hero, you knowing who is under the mask would just make you a bigger target. not to mention your own mother still hates her guts, and is putting you in multiple uncomfortable situations.
'can i at least tell her i'm a girl?' ellie questioned, already fed up by this conversation. she rubbed the bridge of her nose before looking up at joel, who she had grown to look up to as a mentor. although they still bicker. joel sighed, 'we talked about this, kiddo. if people keep thinking there's a spider-man, the changes of finding out your identity are low.' 'she won't tell anyone.' ellie trusts you. in the time that you've been together, you haven't told any of your friends that you're up in your room with none other than boston's masked vigilante. you kept this part of your life like an oath, and ellie appreciates you for it. however, joel doesn't know you like she does. 'have you forgotten who her mother is? this could be a set up, and you're falling for it.' ellie shakes her head. 'she's not like that.' 'look, if it had been any other girl, i would've said go for it. but she's the daughter of the woman who wants to turn you in, dead or alive.' ellie looks away from joel, but he continues. 'we gotta be smart about this.' ellie sighs, nodding. 'okay.'
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie wants to go up to you in person as herself whenever she sees you in class, but knows she can't. like what do you mean her tongue was exploring your mouth just the night before but now you two are back to strangers????? it's driving her crazyyy and she feels so stupid and so guilty. it doesn't matter how many people she saves, ellie feels like she's going to hell for doing this to you. yet she can’t stop, not now, she’s addicted to your taste and when she sees you as her masked self later that day, she smacks her lips against yours for all the times she felt the argue to kiss you as ellie but couldn't.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is still bitter towards joel for not letting her confess her secret to you but they've grown close and he is helping her find out why jerry anderson would create radioactive spiders. they don't find much until the top of the anderson tower bursts into flames. boston for sure thought they were going to be the next 9/11 but thanfully ellie got everyone out safetly. it was afterwork hours so not a lot of people were there, but when ellie went back to make sure she didn't miss anyone, a sinister laugh echoed. ellie's body went cold and her spidey senses were going crazy. if you couldn't tell jerry is the green goblin in this au but i still picture willem dafoe bc he's just TEW good as the green goblin so im recasting him as jerry 😁
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie definitely has a whole panic attack after being thrown against multiple walls by this not so kind dr anderson. she was just so overstimulated and physically hurt that it was all too much at once. this is ellie's first big villian and the old man can punch alr
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie has friends - dina and jessy ofc, but they’re unaware of her double life. ik i said she's a loser and i haven't mention them, but in my au her and abby were childhood friends until abby was sent to boarding school. they're literally peter and harry, you get me? so like norman, jerry was also neglectful and wouldn't pay attention to abby's friends, especially ones from so long ago, but ellie remembers him - also bc who wouldn't know the jerry anderson - and she knows that whatever she fought that night wasn't jerry, not entirely. he had this crazy look in his eyes and creepy smile, flying around in a hoverboard, accusing her of stealing his powers. yikes, awkward...
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie continues to fight him for some time, trying to figure out what the hell happened to him and how to help him. along with discoverying about anderson's sickness, ellie also finds out her mom used to work with jerry and she's the one who created the formula to cross-species genetics. yup, that really sent her spiraling - also im so uncreative and unoriginal im stealing from tasm bc ellie's mom also sabotaged the formula and added her dna into the equation, which is why ellie got her powers while jerry went nuts. okay he also gained some abilities but at what cost?
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie goes to your place after finding all of this shit out without telling you any of it, but just being near you helps her calm down. at this point, she knows so much abt you and you so little abt her, but you don't seem to mind. you tell her that you've been fighting a lot with your mom recently, and ellie listens. it's nice to talk abt other things to get her mind off of wtv is happening in her messed up life. you ask her if her parents know what she does, and for some reason, ellie opens up. she tells you the few memories she has of her mother, something she's never done with anyone apart from marlene but even then those moments were rare, more so now that's she gone too.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is letting her guard down around you more and more, that she doesn't realize she's being followed. in her mind, your apartment is a safe place so why would she need to be on alert? well ima tell you why: her spidey senses woke her up in the middle of the night, but she dismisses them since she's been anxious for the past few days. it isn’t until later when she goes to class, the one with you in it, that her senses go off again, stonger this time after not seeing you enter through the doors at all. you've been late before, but never absent since attendance is mandatory in this class. she rushes to your apartment after class thinking maybe you're sick - which she knows isn't the case bc she saw you last night and you were perfectly fine. when she gets there, there's a green note sitting eerly on your bed waiting for her. 'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, SPIDER-GIRL'
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie feels like she's going to throw up. jerry knows and he has you. ellie spends all day trying to locate you with joel's help. they were able to track jerry's/green goblin's last location to be in an abandoned clock tower on the outskirts of boston. without wasting anymore time, ellie rushes there.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie gets to the clock tower as the last bits of sunlight set in the horizon. she climbs up and peaks through one of the broken windows. there, she sees you tied up to a pull with your arms above you kinda like mary jane in the spider-man 2. ellie couldn't see jerry anywhere but her focus was to get your out of here so very quietly she went in. you tried to warn her but by the time she removed the ropes on your wrists, a little pumpkin bomb landed next to her, exploding and making both you fall. i won't write the entire scene but i'll tease something - fyi when i say clock tower, think tasm2 gwen's death scene
jerry - or the green goblin - held you in his arms as his board hovered over ellie. he grabbed your jaw harshly, forcing you to keep your teary eyes on ellie. her gaze remained low after taken off her mask. she was following the goblin's instructions, too terrified of something happening to you. yet, she couldn't bring herself to meet the look of betrayal in your eyes. 'no, that can't be,' goblin mocked, and ellie never wanted to punch someone as much as she does right now. 'where is spider-man? i could've sworn there was a man under the mask. i thought so, did you, pretty face?' his neck turned to look at you, question ringing with faux surprise. ellie clenched her fists, finally looking up at the goblin. 'you got what you wanted, now let her go!' goblin broke into a crazy smile. 'i want you dead, spidey! i need your blood!' 'you have me. just, let her go and we can talk about this.' ellie took a few careful steps forward. the goblin chuckled before nodding, 'okay.' then he pushed you off his board. 'no!' ellie tried to jump after you, but the goblin took a hold of her and threw her against a wall across the platform she was standing.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie starts seeing joel as a father figure that night after he shows up in the suit. nobody had seen joel as iron man in years, but he couldn't let the girl he had grown to care for as a daughter fight alone. he got you to the ground safely before going back to help ellie fight the goblin. unfortunately he managed to escape but they were able to get a sample of his blood to start working on a cure.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie puts her mask back on before going up to you. she's holding onto her side, for sure with a few broken ribs that will heal in a week thanks to her fast self healing, and a limp on her walk. you're still shaken up from everything, from being kidnap and finding spidey's identity. you look at her with this unreadable expression and ellie starts trying to explain herself. joel flies down, interrupting the conversation to tell you it was his idea not to tell you anything, but before you can speak, sirens are heard outside the tower.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie watches as you run to your mom, hugging her as she asks you if you're hurt. ellie stands to the side doing that thing where her foot fidgets with the dirt and she starts playing with her hands, lowk feeling lonely. that’s when joel will come in with a hand on her shoulder, telling her she did good and that almost makes her break down. dw guys, i promise they won’t end up like mcu peter & tony or game ellie & joel🥹
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie doesn't see you in class after that, not for a week. she also doesn't go to your place to respect the fact that you most definitely need space. you're kinda mad at ellie, but you're feelings are still there. if only she had been honest from the beginning. obviously you recognized her from class, so after a week you go up to her. annndddd this is where im ending this bc i have an exam to study for but yea yea you end up forgiving her and all that lovey-dovey stuff, hope y’all liked this chaotic headcanon
˚ ༘ 🦕𖦹⋆｡˚
#୧ ‧₊˚ 🎀 ⋅ 𝕾𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐀 𝖂𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒#୧ ‧₊˚ 🩰 ⋅ 𝕾𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐀 𝕽𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒#୧ ‧₊˚ 🌷 ⋅ 𝕾𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐀 𝕾𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒#୧ ‧₊˚ 🍰 ⋅ 𝕾𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐀 𝖂𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆#୧ ‧₊˚ 🍓 ⋅ 𝕾𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐀 𝕽𝐄𝐐#୧ ‧₊˚ 🎧 ⋅ 𝕾𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐀 𝕬𝐒𝐊𝐒#୧ ‧₊˚ 🏹 ⋅ 𝕾𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐀 𝕭𝐋𝐔𝐑𝐁𝐒#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams imagine#ellie williams x reader#ellie tlou#ellie x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie the last of us#spidey!ellie williams#au ellie williams
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luxiem as bad sex
don’t worry about it this is mostly for the lolz. might fuck around and do this for other livers next time i feel restless. make sure to properly communicate with your partner
tags: gender neutral reader, established relationship, smut, humor/crack, chatfic in shu’s entry, public sex, uki violeta cameo, cheating/ntr mention, just imagine the baldur’s gate 3 scene with the luxiem guy of your choice you know what i’m talking about
⚠️ nsfw under the cut. content not intended for minors.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
🖋 Ike Eveland: anatomy
there is a chance that, when you sleep with ike, despite his title, it’s his first time.
25% chance says that he fully does not know what he’s doing, and asks you for a full-blown tutorial on how to stick part a into part b.
25% chance says that he fully does not know what he’s doing but he doesn’t even admit to it. it’s a lot of trial and error and insistence that no, don’t worry, i got this when he very clearly does not.
25% chance that, for the first time in his life, eroge has come in clutch. he understands! kind of. it’s more like as he penetrates you he tries to compare your sounds to the moans of eroge characters. the more you sound like a hentai protagonist the better. it’s also worth noting he pumps into you to the beat of a huniepop song that worked its way into his head while he was trying to figure out what’s a good or bad sound.
and finally 25% chance that it’s just fine.
but let it be known that he 100% does not know how to find the clit. barely knows how to find the prostate either. ike won’t admit to either of these things
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
🦁 Luca Kaneshiro: openness
never let it be said luca is solitary. he’s social and likes to explore different spaces. it means dates happen often, and so does getting dragged off to give him head in public.
this would be fine if it was a bathroom stall. you know, the standard couple spots. what you didn’t expect was in a fairly open alley. or an amusement park ride with automatic souvenir pictures. or on the shady side of a beach full of people.
hell, even when you get into a changing room while shopping there’s still a risk. he’s gotten you to jack him off while wearing not-yet-purchased jeans more than once and as exciting as it was you have no clue what happened to the poor retail workers that had to find them hanging on the return-to-hanger rack.
at home he leaves doors open since it’s just the two of you, including when he goes down on you. he leaves them open when there’s guests, too, and guides you into your bedroom when he needs a break from talking to people. the doors are still open. you’re a master at being quiet but sometimes his puppy wanders around looking for his owner, and…
(side note: not about sex but i just know he would leave the door open or walk in on you using the bathroom and that terrifies me)
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
👟 Shu Yamino: attentiveness
Me: hey
Me: hey
Me: are you awake??
taro_twink: abt to sleep
taro_twink: what do you want shu
Me: idk c:
taro_twink: so you blew up my phone??? bitch??
Me: fjakajsjsldj i wanted to talk to my friend!
taro_twink: wish granted
taro_twink: wyd?
Me: reader
taro_twink: don’t text on a date
Me: we’re at home
taro_twink: go spend time with reader then ffs
Me: i am
Me: reader feels really nice c:
taro_twink: wait
Me: and i like making reader say my name too
taro_twink: SHSKDKLSJA
taro_twink: WHAT FHE FUXK
taro_twink: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TEXTINF ME RIFHT NOW
taro_twink: SHU YAMINO WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU
Me: dw reader hasn’t noticed my phone yet
taro_twink: THIS ISNT ABOUT READER ITS ABOUT ME
Me: my phone is by the pillow so it’s hard to see
taro_twink: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TEXTING WHILE SCREWING SOMEONE????????????
Me: yea :homiekiss:
taro_twink: you are fucked up and i’m going to bed
taro_twink: so done with you jfc
taro_twink: gn
taro_twink: bye
taro_twink: if you say anything else i’m blocking your number
Me: you’re no fun
taro_twink: you are literally texting me while you’re doing your partner i don’t want to hear it
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
👹 Vox Akuma: names
vox is noisy. delightfully so. it’s easy to communicate with him because he’s unconsciously vocal whenever he likes something.
these sounds, however, are usually limited to grunts, moans and cries. all well and good, but when things get more intense, he’s more inclined to scream your name.
and when his dick is in your mouth he can’t think straight, in the worst way.
this is just to say that even when you’re not roleplaying, he’s cried out a lot of names that aren’t yours. usually celebrities or fictional characters. you’ve lost count of how many tall/dark/handsome guys with long hair he’s cum to, or sassy women. hell, his celebrity crushes don’t even look like you.
if you have cheating fantasies this is excellent. if you have ntr fantasies, excellent as well. what isn’t excellent, however, is how last time you poured wax on him while fucking him from behind, he buried his face into the pillow and whimpered out your coworker’s name.
he was very lucky you didn’t have more wax to splash him with
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi
#ike eveland#ike eveland x reader#luca kaneshiro#luca kaneshiro x reader#shu yamino#shu yamino x reader#vox akuma#vox akuma x reader#luxiem x reader#luxiem#nijisanji x reader#nijisanji en#ike eveland smut#luca kaneshiro smut#shu yamino smut#vox akuma smut#4402 writes#hear me out i just KNOW he can’t find the c/it
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hey pink!
i was hoping you could offer some encouragement and advice to me. basically the entire luckyvoidgirl thing yesterday, i acctually liked her success story, it made sense to me and i even listened to cee's subliminal and my parents ended up saying i don't have to go to this dumb event i was dreading so im even seeing successes with it
the thing was she said something that i can't stop thinking about. she said that a lot of tumblr is just misinformation and that the original blog that brought the void to tumblr was divineangelbee and she was exposed for lying about the void. everyone just copied whatever she said and kept spreading the same stuff she put out but her own experience was all a lie. it really got me thinking about how educated this community is about loa, like the void state and loa is so intertwined. luckyvoidgirl never said she used loa and she did something different but she got so much flack bc the void community on tumblr is so deeprooted in loa, possibly bc of angel. but anyways for a community that is so deeprooted in loa, so many people haven't entered and even worse, so many bloggers have been exposed for lying about their success story. the crazy thing is its so easy to lie on tumblr so the fact that so many have gotten caught makes me wonder how many we haven't even caught and really how does a community that knows loa struggle like this.
idk i just can't stop thinking about this and was hoping for some guidance.
hey love! im technically on break but you're not the only one spiraling so i rlly wanted to answer this.
first of all, i want to say she's just lying and this community is great but i can't. the truth of the matter is she is right. the person who brought the void to tumblr was @divineangelbee and she was the one who went around saying it was super easy and anyone can do it and she was and is still pretty much the blueprint for how a lot of voidstate tumblr thinks, but she was exposed for harassing her friends to enter the void for her. since then, many other bloggers who basically parrot the same thing as her have been exposed as well.
however i want to highlight something here. just because someone preaches something and it doesn't work out for them doesn't mean it's false. this is a super old argument, like back when bloggers like cleo and raven were super popular but people were arguing abt Sammy Ingram. basically she was a big affirm and persist girlie and people were going at her for saying this but never losing any weight (her main goal with manifestation was to lose weight but she never did and just gaslighted anyone who pointed it out, saying they were bodyshaming her). while something was off for sammy (maybe she didn't persist or maybe she just didn't bother doing her method at all), her method worked for so many people. there's boatloads and boatloads of success stories from her videos and methods. so someone can be lying about the void and still be giving legit advice.
however, the void state community on tumblr DOES have a lot of misinformation. ive seen people claim the void state is just SATS, just alpha state, theta state, delta state, it's acc just a placebo for you to guarantee manifestations, and all sorts of nonsense. now there's a new addition, people who tell you to pay money and they'll get you into the void state. it's honestly crazy how hard the community went against the luckyvoidgirl but not some of the other stuff i see here.
but anyways, what do you do?
you need to realize that you entering the void has nothing to do with the state of the void community on tumblr. people lying abt entering the void doesnt make the void a lie, it makes them a liar.
ive been in that position where i hailed bloggers and felt attached to this community so drama here messed with me internally. you shouldn't be doing that. please read my Doubts post where i talk about overcoming this and also provide many sources of proof that the void is real so that you don't need to rely on tumblr to know that:
also it helps to find a few reputable sources. i just wanted to give a shout out to someone rn: @voidprincessblog
her page is the page i would recommend to everyone. you can tell the amount of research and effort she puts into every post and you can trust her to be a reputable source on info.
im going to attach this other post of mine for you as well:
i wish you the best of luck on your void journey and hope this helps! 💟
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im. so ill. where does one even begin with?? like
// WL FINALE SPOILERS‼️ (finale yap 💔)
ok. firstly: shiny duo (+ cleo :3) things. (totally not bc im so insane abt them. 100% hahahdvav fucking explodes)
WE DIDNT GET MURDER CAMEL. NOOOO WE WERE SO CLOSE TO THEM HAVING AN ALLIANCE. + CLEO (live laugh luv cleo) WE COULD'VE HAD A NEW KIND OF 3 G'S (w/o this blue haired FREAK /aff i need scott to explode) GASLIGHT, GIRLSLAY (or girlmurder. idk man they both fit methinks), AND GIRLBOSS. (ignore this im posting at 2am. very energetic and also eepy)
THEY ARGDHQ GEM CALLED PEARL PATHETIC AND CUTE AND STILL TRYING TO 1V1 HER. PEARL TELLING GEM THAT HER SNAIL IS LITERALLY NEXT TO THEM EVEN THO SHE WAS TRYING TO KILL GEM. ALSO. WHEN GEM SAW THE G'S AT HER BASE SHE LITERALLY SPECIFICALLY CALLS PEARL. GIRL THEIR WHOLE ALLIANCE IS THERE AND YET THE ONLY PERSON THAT YOU TRULY NOTICE IS PEARL. OK GEM. 😔🤨 NOT THEM CALLING EACH OTHER'S FULL USER. UAGH. THEY MAKE ME SICK.
cough she def misses being w pearl. cough (it goes both ways for them. they miss eachother sm trust) she wants that cookie so bad its actually sososososos insanely painful to watch. i should get a degree in studying whatever the fuck theyve got goin awn. the fact its unresolved is an added thing in there.
moving on bfore i get shiny duo severe stage 10 brainrot. secondly: JOEL WIN. ACTUALLY CRAZY. (<- hes crazy. like genuinely.)
i didnt think that he was gonna win tbh. since yk lizzie is his weakness and lizzie wouldve used that to kill him. honestly if grian hadnt killed lizzie she wouldve probably killed him i think. and lizzies advice to joel to not get scott is so sweet actually <3 imagine trying to kill your husband but at the same time your lowk also looking out for him. she noticed the pattern of him always losing when getting scott wjjwbfm jizzie is os.. precious uaghhqphqvsb
ALSO ‼️ HE AND GRIAN MAKE SUCH A GOOD DUO. I THINK THEYVE TEAMED UP BEFORE ON LIKE LAST LIFE?? I THINK. I WAS ALWAYS WATCHING PEARLS POV. ianfbwnbsl life series brainworms r working overtime on this. too bad im on the verge of eeping.
AND thirdly: the wildcard. er wildcards.
the wildcards returning for the finale is great dont get me wrong. its jst. i guess at the end where all of the wildcards are activated its jst. so much?? like everything happening is too much at the same time yk? i think thats mostly the problem. bc. everyone has to deal with all these deadly wildcards adding up gradually causing some of the players their last life. which i think makes it more.. unsatisfactory? kind of? since the finale for others werent going out in pvp or traps and allat but the wildcards.
all of them happening at the same time is a bit overwhelming?? or maybe its jst me but theres too much going on every moment and such. its jst hard to actually focus/try to kill ppl? we have the slow to speedy thingy happening, the mobs dying and changing, which causes a lot of lag and deaths (gem to a vex is an example of this) cus theres a bunch of mobs to look out for, the trivia bot coming down sometimes at the worst possible moment (a snail chasing u n all), theres also the superpower card its kinda not been properly or well used during all this, and snails since they did end some series and caused a bunch of deaths in their past of being the main wildcard.
and: shiny duo again bc i cant not end this talking abt the wildcard(s) and i love them (sadly true)
them both keeping the bit where gem complimented her red skin. gem saying that she loves pearls red outfit sm. pearl trying to douse gem when her alliance tried to kill her and burn her w lava while they were talking. jsksnwnwbqle ims o sick.
lastly: lizzie having cleos superpower. i am having THOUGHTS abt this.
LIZZIE HAD CLEOS SUPERPOWER. ODLWNWNFNBWKFLD didya guys know that i was more of a shadowrot fan when i started watching last life? now you know !!
kqnebwbf fn also. the shadowrot is being revived w this series. no more thoughts abt shadowrot bfore i get forced into a psych ward.
honorary mention: cleo reaction to pearl getting killed by grian (ignoring the heartache bc i love skyblings sm. uaghhh).
when pearl got killed by grian, cleo ran straight for him. she ignored joel who was stabbing her in the back (literal). she tried so hard to blast grian off that cliff. i dont think she was trying to protect ren, who was getting chased by grian. she didnt yell at him, she was jst quiet and absolutely pissed that pearl died. i mean who wouldnt tbf. pearl was the only remaining teammate of the main 4 g's afterall. ohhhhshdbwb my moonrot heart has been revived.
the life series gals should team up next season i mean WHAT WHO SAID THAT.
#wild life spoilers#wild life smp#gempearl#shiny duo#shadowrot#moonrot#<3#i love love love them can u tell#:3c#im so unbelievably eepy#im gonna eep now
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What abt one where reader is the sunshine of 141, like after a tough mission she goes around base doing acts of kindness. like for example she goes to price and hands him a pack of cigars bc he ran out of his or something like that? Idk it sounds cute but idk how to write so pretty please do this for this thirsty child of sin
(◍•ᴗ•◍)♡
Golden-141
I've been wanting to write this one for a while now..so I hope you enjoy it!
F!reader, platonic! relationship. (remember that you can always discard the mention of female pronouns!!)
After one of the toughest mission 141 dealt, the guys were seriously our of energy. R/n decided to take this matter into her own hands. She hated to see her guys all quiet and tired. So for the past week she's been leaving gifts for them around base.
----
It all started with Price, he seemed to have lost his last sparkle of kindness. She went into the city and found a pack of cigars, the same ones he'd been talking about before the mission. "They are the best, wish I could have one right now." It was something that was meant to be forgotten. But its you, you just couldn't get past it, eventually when you found them, you hid them in his offices desk. That day he had to make some tough calls to some soldiers mothers. You knew not to bother him, so you left a note: "I know it's been a difficult one captain, so here's a little something for a cool ol'man like you. :)"
Once he sat on his chair he spotted the box, that was neatly wrapped, you even went through the trouble of finding wrapping paper with cigars on them.
----
Your next guy was Gaz, he had it somewhat tough. But you know better than that. He was after all a brother to you, so you know what had to be done. He had been talking about some old movie he enjoyed as a kid a few months back. You knew from the moment he talked about it that you have to find it.
And for months on end you went to every shop, whether that was in a country you were deployed in or your home town. After some search you found it. The day you decided he had to receive it, you looked all around base for him. Until you heard the boys walk into the chow hall. That's when you ran out and decided to get in his room to put the film on his TV. Once you knew the movie was seconds from starting you ran out and made Gaz chase you. It was rough on you, considering you had receive some injury while on the field. But it didn't matter as long as you made him smile.
When you two reached his room, the movie started playing. He paused for a second when he heard the main character speak. Then his eyes landed on you. "You remembered?" his voice so soft and clear. You nodded, "you said that was one of the few times you felt happy and I wanted to see you smile again." He walked up to you and hugged you.
----
Then soap came to mind. You thought so hard for what could cheer him up. There was so much he had told you since he met you. "R/n d'ya ever miss the pubs back home?" he quietly spoke one night, you looked at him. "Lots"
But the problem was that no one could leave base tonight. So you ordered lots of alcohol, with permission of Price of course. You made sure to make the chow hall dark and with hints of smoke. something you put price to. He had been in there all day smoking and puffin'. "I'm I done here?" he would ask but every time the answer was 'no.'
You made sure Ghost was the bartender and Gaz the guy always asking for more. Once everyone was in place, you walked over to soap who was talking to some soldiers. They had been asking stupid questions to keep him occupied. Another ask from you. "c'mere soap, Ghost is calling for a meeting." You covered his eyes, "this isn't a meetin' is it?" "nope...its kidnapping"
He walked inside and the smell hit him. "Surprise y'are back in SCOTLANDDD!!" you cheerfully spoke with a terrible impression of his accent. He turned to you and hugged you. "It may not be home, but hey, home is wherever, no" you shyly whispered against him. "Thank ya' r/n." "Anything for my big tiny fella. Now lets drink...Bartender!!" "Shut it" ghost responded.
----
Ghost didn't say much about what he enjoyed when off duty. Except that he loves Kentucky bourbon. So a week after he told you that there was one place he loved the drink it at, you started to call the place, asking for a bottle of their best Kentucky bourbon. You tried to give little information to buy their drink. And after much hesitation from them, they gave up and sent you one.
You had occupied him with some activity you needed to bail out of. Your excuse was your period was bitchin' around. He understood and took your place. You made him room all cozy, placed the bottle on his desk and left a note: "Hey L.t. what does an alcoholic like...kentucky bourbon! Please enjoy it, you deserve a taste of home :)"
You soon left his room, but later that day he hunted you down and hugged you. "How'd you know?" he softly spoke. "It was something you mention, I remember because you spoke about it with such kindness..thought..maybe he needs this." you answered.
----
REQUEST ARE OPEN!
#141 x reader#mw2 141#141#cod 141#task force 141#modern warfare 2#mw2#price x reader#captain john price#captain price#price#price mw2#ghost fanfiction#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#ghost mw2#ghost call of duty#ghost hc#ghoap#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#gaz cod#gaz mw2#soap x you#soap call of duty#soap x reader#john soap mactavish#soap modern warfare#soap mctavish#john mactavish
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ALSO daj complimented my hair andnsaid it was very thick and looked nide and jm like :]]
#great day in connorland :] im sad daj wont be here tmrw tho#n maya wont start until the monday after next i think.. famously its looking like im gonna be training her which GETS SCARES!#shes dajs friend tho and daj says shes rly nice and also i like halfway trained daj and she said i did a rly good job and was very helpful#so 🙏#also maya is like around dajs age i think(daj is 24) so itll be nice to have another young person... formerly it was just me and nicha and#fiona but me and fiona never rly interact since she leaves so early were just never in thesame area.. she seems super nice though :]#i was worried she didnt like me at first but i think that was just me bejng paranoid bc im down with her now...#but ya. much love to brenda and nee and dee and marian however its hard to be friends eith ppl so much olfer than me... theyre all older#than 40 and obviously that doesnt mean im gonna like. not be friends with them NDFBF we talk we joke etc yk. but theyre literally all old l#enough 2 be my mom like literally my mom turns 40 next year so we just dont have a lot 2 tlk abt...#idk why i did so many disclaimers. basically its like for some reason rly rare for young ppl to do housekeeping i think they all just are#servers. SO itll be cool 2 have a new young person esp one who i already know is chill bc shes friends with daj and daj says ill like her#and alsl we will kind of have to get along sonce were bith friends with daj JFBFJFNGN#so yayyy basically :] im scared 2 train but still excited
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goin on here to rant so most my ppl dont see, im not that active here anyways so who cares, i sure dont. my year has dragged me to my lowest point till ive become sucidal again. i dont like thinkin abt it but its there
i want to quit. i want to quit friends, i want to quit art, i want to quit everything. everything. including my au. i want to drop dead off the internet and prob go kill myself or reflect or smth. idk, one of those is better than the other, but again i dont know. everything is always hurting and ive been so numb to everything since this year has started, its only gotten worse. my friends arent makin this any better either
im done bein used, im done getting manipulated, im done seeing ppl favor one another right in front of me, im done w/ ppl not listenin to me when i try expressin smth im struggling w/, even if it wasnt much or none at all. i dont even vent a lot or at all. why?? cuz no one ever fucking listens, gets mad at me while i try talkin, pushes my issue away w/ another topic immediately. they my friends act more excited towards the other everyone else gettin smth meanwhile i get lil to none. i recognize im not gettin appreciated as everyone else in my friend group, like they're uninterested in me anymore. that they dont care. ive tried bein positive, i cannot. my friends have offered and offered and offered for me to talk to them if im ever bothered- "u can always talk to us if smth wrong" or smth like that...ok?? last time i broke down in call, one of my friends was playin cookie run to distract themselves, so they werent even fully listening...another time i just got flat out ignored, my issue got pushed aside by another art topic, "damn". NO ONE FUCKING CARES. i already know the cycle. too many times ive lived thru it and im only enabling it by gettin vulnerable. at this point, i cant trust my own friends cuz its so hard too believe them when they keep doin the same thing to me over and over. they're trying to prove smth to me to make me think they care. i dont fucking believe it cuz no one has ever shown care back for me, regardless of how much i give to them. theres that word again. i give so fucking much, and i hate myself for bein this way. most of the time i wish my au didnt blow up cuz its put so much pressure on me like the new friends that came and left in my life, me realizing i have to maintain an audience... idk, maybe im a lost cause. i cant do any of this anymore. i want to die. i dont like thinkin it, but i want too. theres so much stress, so much unbearable stress and anger. and no one will fucking care. ive been hurt by my own friends too many times. i dont say anything cuz its just gonna happen all over again, no how many times i *try* and bring it up to them, they will not fucking listen. no one ever fucking listens to me. i didnt like makin friends from the beginning, ive loved bein alone from the start, but everything happens naturally...unfortunately
i give and give and give and i get absolutely nothing back. im all used up.
idk everything fucking sucks rn. i didnt have to worry abt all of this when i was a smaller acc and i had myself. thats all i needed. now im just miserable. im depressed, sucidal thoughts are everyday, i cry to myself everyday and night cuz of it, im stuck living w/ this thing i made out of my pure "imagination" and that same thing almost made me kill myself one time, ive almost killed myself twice a couple months back- one in my parents bathroom and almost sneakin out of my window to wander away from home.
one day im goin to leave, and im not gonna say a word
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I've been slowly dipping my toes into dst character modding and finally decided to start chipping at my test dummy girl's dialogue and I am starting to adore her a lil she's such an ass
#rat rambles#starve posting#her current name is wimsy but that might change in the future idk#but yeah she's the gymnist girl from that one wendy dream I talked abt once#shes doesnt take a lot of things very seriously especially once she saw some of the magic bullshit in the constant#she basically has a death isnt permanent so its not a big deal approach to bad things happening#she is also an inpatient motherfucker and not a very good team player#she also has like no filter and often says things that come across as mean and insensitive#shes also incredibly overconfident and reckless#Im not sure how ambitious I wanna be with making her real since she is kind of just my test dummy#but idk maybe I could use her to learn to make new animations#eventually. not anytime soon lol.#her kit is going to be pretty simple and focused on movement#which currently only means she walks faster and has a faster hunger drain#she also is again very uncaring about the negative things around her and as such looses less sanity from things#although I think I still need to fully implement that one#I probably won't hard commit to this project but Im hoping to chip at it over time
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