#idk it's so hard when you don't come from somewhere supportive

[twcfaces]

Vanilla Sunday Meme // 9. Is your muse attracted to any features in particular? (and/or) 10. Have their crushes been mostly male, mostly female, or evenly split?

Let's go on the 'Harvey is bisexual but only recently stopped hating himself about it' journey, shall we?

Harvey has always felt equally attracted to ladies, and to men- but he seriously repressed the 'men' part of that whole equation throughout his development, not because he was disgusted by it or anything, but because he was already convinced he was a freak, and that anything he felt was a result of that--- not to mention, it was a totally different time, and his dad was your typical white POS bigot anyway.

He spent a lot of time thinking that there was just something wrong with him- not that it was just part of who he was or that it was something that should be talked about.

I still don't think he'd be out and about like 'I fuck ladies AND gents so form a line ;)' but I think it's not beyond him to make the occasional bi-sexual joke, or just be generally okay with finding dudes pretty damn handsome too, or considering them potential romantic partners. He's just not totally used to being okay with it, but that will change once he lives with it for a while. He's had to unlearn a lot of stuff. It's quite hard sometimes.

[amazinglyashy]

hellow ash! Dropping here since I got hooked from the last post ehe. If it's okay...idk if its OOC but, can you do some shorts or fic on like mc just wanting a peaceful, quiet life? away from fighting or mental battle. Esp Raf and Sy, they canonly seem to be the ones with most hard-core agenda. What if MC just want peace, yet entangled with them is sureway of NOT having that life? can they make it happen? or will they just shield mc in her dream fantasy life while they battle the real world? as we know even mc herself is already target from many unwanted people...so how?? idk sorry for ramblinggg😫😫😫

(its kinda personal since if I could, I'd just live in a small town with a garden like harvest moon game, away from stress and ambitious grasp of capitalism, buttt yea that's a dream only 🥲🙃)

I'm a firm believer that MC is however me and my readers/requesters make them, so no worries about OOC here :D also don't ever worry about rambling, I always love your comments on my posts and works 😭😭❤️ I did my best, hope you enjoy!!

LaDS men when all you want is to live a quiet life -

Sylus -

He knows his way in and out of the world, and every which way to get what he wants. Still, knowing your wishes-

It's hard.

Not because it's not conducive in your relationship, no- he'd give you the world if you so much as asked him. But it is a bit... difficult, to say the least, trying to figure out how to acquire you the life you seem desperate for.

He does understand your reasoning, though.

He would do his best to first make some of his more rural safe houses even more habitable- style choices that fit your tastes, a nook for you to relax in or do work, and anything you could think of that would help with your hobbies. Those houses become your little retreat, and they always have anything you could ever want stocked to the brim.

Luke and Kieran visit you often, or will occasionally take you elsewhere for a day out in town or further in the city. Unbeknownst to you, it's usually when someone has been targeting you and Sylus is... taking care of it behind your back.

Even if he can't stop his work after being so deep after all these years- even if he can't stop the people who are constantly targeting you for simply existed- he's going to do absolutely everything within his power to ensure you get to live the life you have chosen.

Especially with him.

Zayne -

All he wants in life is to help you find your peace.

That's all.

If living a quiet life is what helps you achieve that, then he's all for it.

He may sheepishly admit to you just how worried your Hunter's Association job would make him, wondering if the next gurney wheeled into his operating room would be you after a particularly grueling battle, or after running into the wrong person who had been after you for what nestled within your heart.

So this is definitely a plus to him.

By extension, he's also perfectly fine if you want to be stay-at-home. He makes more than enough as a surgeon to support the both of you extremely comfortably, and he knows that life really... hasn't been the kindest to you.

He's used to a bit of a commute, just trying to fight out of his driveway in the city center, so if you want to live somewhere further out in order to have space to garden, he'll figure out how to make it a reality for you.

Sometimes, he'll come home with something new for you- a type of seed for the coming season, a new book, some fresh supply for a craft you've been working on- anything, and he takes a lot of pleasure in seeing the smile break across your face whenever he does.

Rafayel -

Oh that's easy. Four words-

Beach house + Sea God.

Easy.

Hearing your wish surprises him a little, but it's nothing if not relieving to him.

He's spent forever, and then again, just trying to find you and also ensure your safety- from both up close, and from afar. It's difficult with how much trouble you get yourself into, and with the trouble you don't get yourself into that just seems to find you.

Honestly, this just makes his life so much easier.

Rafayel is so used to soloing against people looking to do you harm or bring trouble to you, so this isn't too much different than what he used to do before you two met again. And if you come to live with him along the seaside, it's that much easier for him.

He's in his element, so discovering anything insidious lurking near is easy, and he can usually take care of the issue long before it could ever reach you, much less get to you and you finally getting to have a breather in life.

One of his favorite things is a quiet day at home with you, sitting high on a ladder as he works on another giant painting, working towards the top just so that he can peer out the window- he loves watching you work on the garden boxes he bought for you, even if you don't notice him yourself.

Xavier -

He's bared witness to everything you've been through- at least the worst of it. Anything he hasn't, you've definitely brought him up to speed with nervous laughs and late night conversation when the two of you were awake past when you should be.

So he knows.

He knows you mean it when you tell him your wish.

He also knows you more than deserve it.

Xavier will smile it off easily, asking you if that isn't already what you've been doing with him- snuggling during the colder months on the couch in his apartment, waiting for him to finish his assignments and come home to a half-finished movie and a stale bowl of popcorn you fell asleep eating. The butter was tacky now like the tips of your fingers against the blanket he'll need to wash tomorrow as he picks you up to take you to bed.

Living somewhere out of the city is doable to him, and he'll let you pick the place. Occasional visits into the city are a necessity, though- how else is he going to supply Jerimiah with the harvests from your gorgeous garden if not? It's a nice little living, in addition to whatever Xavier brings in.

It also helps him really appreciate the smaller things in life. He never really knew how much he would love dancing in the kitchen as the sun sets through the window, until now.

[andrastie]

So I'm about halfway (maybe a bit less) through Veilguard and am loving the game!

My biggest issue, however, is the lack of choices that carried through from Inquisition and the previous two game. I feel like Dragon Age Keep made the games more personalized based on the choices you made in the previous games.

For example, I was screaming when we got the little cameo of King Alistair in Inquisiton and the mention of my Coulsand Warden as the Queen of Fereldan.

Here are some things I wish had been included in the new game based on decisions made in my canon Inquisiton run (very very mild spoilers):

Divine Victoria mention - based on who we supported to be the new Divine in Inquisiton. I supported Leliana. When Harding is talking about the Inquisiton advisors and Leliana comes up, I would have loved a line about how she's settled in to her new position as Divine Victoria.

Codex entry about the Orlesian civil war - I read a codex entry in Veilguard about Empress Celene and I'm pretty sure one of the companions mentions her (I can't think of who). I chose to sacrifice Celene and put Gaspard on the throne with Briala pulling his strings. Maybe the codex could mention her assassination or another could talk about whether or not Briala still holds the power behind the Orlaisian throne.

Stroud - where the fuck is Stroud?? I sacrificed Hawke so that the Grey Wardens had a senior Warden with a brain that could step up and lead them. Yet their new Warden Commander still has no brain. Where is Stroud???

Hawke mention - an acknowledgement of whether or not we left Hawke in the Fade (I did). Maybe a comment or codex entry from Varric wondering if Hawke is still somewhere in the Fade, like he is now. We don't have to see Hawke, just a comment or codex would do.

Inquisiton companion updates from Harding - kind of like how in Inquisiton you could ask Varric or Hawke about the DA2 companions and they'd give you little updates. For example, "Cassandra rebuilt the Seekers," or "The Iron Bull and his chargers still take jobs across Thedas, more recently against the Antaam. That's gotta be awkward," or things like that, referencing what trajectory we set the companions on (Cassandra pro seeker-rebuild or Iron Bull Tal-Vashoth).

Grey Warden decision fall out - one of the big choices in Dragon Age: Inquisiton was choosing to banish the Grey Wardens or absorb them into the Inquisiton. I chose the later, knowing we'd probably need them in the new game. Maybe a comment from Davrin about how when he first joined the Wardens, he briefly served the Inquisiton, or one from Dorian when he confronts the Warden Commander, saying something like "My friend's mercy is the only reason you still stand to fight the blight".

Idk, I'd love to see people's own ideas and headcanons regarding their past choices so please let me know what you think they should have added based on previous game decisions!

I understand them wanting this to feel like a new game, not bogged down by the last games, but the suggestions I made were mostly one-off comments or codex entries that don't require voice recordings. Having three codex entries for the three Divine candidates and then just rotating them depending on the player choice wouldn't have been that hard... I don't think?

[stilljuststardust]

I’m a 15 years old girl and my parents are very homophobic

Today my mom made me sat down because she thinks that I wanna turn into a boy and she told me for my old sis to also come downstairs to talk about it cause they found it weird mind you they’re very religious

After my big sis came downstairs my mom started talking about how I act like a boy when I’m a girl also that God made me a girl so why would I try to change into a girl and also said that if I keep acting like this she would take all my electronics

And send me somewhere else where I won’t see her and my siblings ever again

I’m crying so much because I did everything to change myself to become normal like others straight but nothing works and I found out that I want to be a boy I tried everything like manifesting being a man nothing it working and circumstances keeps getting worse and worse till the point it making me depressed like maybe I’m stuck this way maybe I will never be a man

I’m so scared cause she said if I don’t change I will not have access to phone I’m having a bad breakdown rn idk what to do anymore I’m so lost

But part of me still believes I’m a man no matter what

Hello, before I give you LOA advice let's talk

You ARE a man. You are a man. You are a man.

You are a man no matter what.

You don't have to do anything to be a man. It's who you are deep down in the pit of your soul. You already are a man.

Not just in an LOA sense, I'm saying this from a non-manifesting perspective: you are not a girl.

You will never be a girl, you never were. Do you understand that? Who you are as a person is a man.

I'm like you.

It's ok to be a trans. Being trans is normal. Half my friends are trans, I'm trans. You aren't alone, you aren't the only one. There is nothing wrong with you.

Firstly I would like to say, always always always prioritize your safety and well-being.

I know it's easier said than done but the closet exists for a reason. It keeps us safe. Do not come out if it would put you in danger. You do not have to be out to be valid.

I hate that my advice is to fawn and pretend to be something you're not, but its safest sometimes.

It feels so far away now, but there will be a time when you are free to be who you are. You will find people who support you. You will find people who are like you. When I was in your place 18 felt so far away and unreachable, but it's not. Freedom will come. Please hold on.

Link to The Trevor project. (Councilors and hotline for queer people who are struggling mentally)

Loa

At the end there will be a handful of LOA posts I think you should read/you might be interested in + subliminals for you. The most important one in my opinion being the one I list first.

The law gets over complicated alot. At the end of the day it boils down to this.

An assumption, though false, if persisted in will harden into fact.

An assumption being something you accept as the truth without needing evidence and persistence meaning you assume regardless of what the 3D shows you.

Essentially, you decide you have your desire and you are stubborn in that decision.

It's ok to feel intense emotions, it's ok to be scared and hurt and frustrated, you just have to assume that no matter what the physical world shows you you are undeniably biologically male.

There is no more advice to give, there is only the law. Assume, affirm, persist.

The posts

How I manifested my dream life with extremely hard circumstances (blushydior)

If it's too long a read (seriously I think you should read the whole thing either way) here's the parts I thought would benefit you the most

What you need to know about loa

How to ignore the 3D

Nothing is true until you decide it is

It's ok to feel like shit

Loa checklist

Subliminals and affirmation tapes

Revise past negative events

Desired body

Mind over matter

It's done

Your desire is a fact

I keep getting results

If you need motivation

@loasuccessarchive

[khaopybara]

I can’t believe it’s over😭😭😭😭

What. A. Rollercoaster.

I laughed, I cried (my god there was so much crying) I was confused, I was angry, but overall I was so happy.

No notes for OonMay. They had their “I can’t think straight” book signing moment (May had her “gotta get my girl back” fit on and looked 🔥🔥🔥) that led them to getting back together and then got married. WHATS NOT TO LOVE!!!!

Oom getting MUCH NEEDED THERAPY!? I cheered! So happy for my girl ✊🏽🥹

Also, I refuse to accept that kos and oom got together, instead my headcanon is that oom and pim met at the wedding and immediately hit it off. Can’t change my mind!!! (Give me PimOom or give me death)

But like for real #LetKapookGetTheGirl2025 right!? Everyone gets their happy endings and pim gets what….A FUCKING APOLOGY EMAIL FROM HER BOSS????? Mhm that’s not right

The other part that doesn’t sit right with me is MAYS HORRIBLE TERRIBLE FATHER! That man should’ve been on the ground BEGGING for forgiveness like May was when she saw Ben. He sends May a picture of some flowers AND SUDDENLY WERE ALL GOOD!? They should’ve just left the parents out of it and had May become closer with the grandma instead.

But I digress

Us has some really big shoes to fill when they jump into plutos Saturday slot in the coming weeks!!!

-🤫

i can't believe we spent months waiting for this show and it was over in like a blink of an eye, i'm very serious. what do you mean we had them for 12 weeks? it didn't feel like it, anyway…

i love how may was, "oh yeah, as if she'll even sign this book for me", and proceeded to look hot as fuck for the book signing thing to win her woman back, and i respect that. she had a goal and said, "independently of the results, i'll look like stunning," and stunning she looked. oonmay are just so cute, man, that whole scene with oom asking her why there are 20 copies of her book in the house, and may going all, "🥺🥺 i wanna support you, am i not being sweet?" i wanted to eat her up right at that moment.

i said this last week i think. people were being very harsh on oom (which you know, understandable), but girl just woke up from a very traumatic experience. and she healed and learned as much as she could in the span of a year. i'm glad she got treatment and even enough to go back to a highly stressful job that is being a flight attendant.

i'm so sorry, but i laughed so hard when the whole kosol x oom scene happened. i didn't take any of that seriously tbh. i think they were scared to put namtan with another woman (kapook) in her first gl with film, but it would have worked just as fine since kosol and oom barely interacted before and there was no trace of anything between the two until that scene. in my head that didn't work out, and oom and pim are somewhere getting to know each other better.

again, for the last time hopefully. I HATE THE THROUPLE! maybe hate is a strong word bc i do like every part of this trio separately (even you pang, you have your moments of clarity), but god, what a turn off this storyline was. and sure jan, you didn't know if pim would make you wait for long and that's why you jumped to pang even though you didn't like her much at first? pim was right, you're both very much alike. love you all, wish you had more development.

well, see, what's better after traumatizing your kid her whole life other than suddenly having a change of heart and giving her girlfriend a plant for them to take care of? dude, i wish you were dead, i don't need your redemption, i need you not breathing. i'm serious. and the problem is that the mom eats it up and feeds may with delusions of her father changing with nothing to back him up. fuck that guy.

idk if you watched the trailer for us, but i can already tell it's going to be way more depressive than pluto despite bonnie's cute little 🥺🥺 face. and i say that fully aware that i managed to make a full gifset with only the crying scenes in the trailer of pluto.

[aphroditelovesu]

First of i have to say i absolutely love your work also idk if you accept requests right now but if you do can you write a yandere Xavier Thorpe with a innocent Darling it can be a HC or imagines whatever you're most comfortable with.

''Nothing will hurt you as long as I'm here.'' - Xavier Thorpe.

❝🎻— lady l: this was very short but because it's not a ''hc general'' but I hope you like it the same way, anon! Ah, this is totally about the character and I don't support the controversies and accusations involving the actor or anything like that. After all, fiction is different from reality, so I hope that's okay with you guys. And thank you so much for the compliment! I love to read this kind of comment, always helps a lot! ❤️❤️

❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, overprotectiveness, reader is very ignorant, implied murder and a bit of non-consensual somnophilia (i guess?).

To say that Xavier finds it adorable how innocent you are of how naive you are is an understatement. He loves it, he adores it and extols it in you. It was that specific trait, your innocence, that drew him to you in the first place. From the moment he saw you, his thoughts were all directed towards you. He was enchanted for you, with your confused attitude when you didn't understand something or how cute you were when you were embarrassed. It was all so perfect and Xavier found himself with his eyes and thoughts on only one person: you.

Xavier likes to think of himself as your best friend and protector, he sees himself that way and no good can come if you break that illusion. He likes to take care of you, simple as that, it's one of his favorite hobbies to watch you from a distance making sure nothing and no one can hurt you. It's scary, honestly, having him watching you all the time but he can be discreet when he wants to, so you're unlikely to find out.

The way he takes care of you can vary depending on the degree of danger he imagines you're involved in, as if it's something that could end your life, Xavier will be relentless in keeping you as far away as possible or even arresting you to somewhere safe. He will have to deal with your anger after doing this, but you're better off alive than dead. He can't even imagine you being hurt or killed, just the thought of something bad happening to you sends him into a frenzy. Nothing will hurt you as long as he's here.

Your naivety sometimes pisses him off to the core too, although he loves that about you, he could also hate it a lot. It's ridiculous sometimes how innocent you are, how pure you are and that's the cause of so many problems. You're basically a walking magnet for trouble and it annoys him a lot because no matter how hard he tries to keep you safe you always end up getting involved in something dangerous, even if it's not on purpose. It's almost like you do it on purpose, like you want to make him angry and he gets pissed about it, but he always forgives you eventually. Thorpe can't resist your beautiful smile. That's his biggest weakness, your smile, or even better, everything about you.

He's not subtle at all around his obsession with you, in fact, Xavier doesn't try to disguise how obsessed he is with you, how his obsession grows more and more and he can't contain himself any longer and honestly, he doesn't. want to hold himself back. He needs you, constantly, he needs reassurance that you need him as much as he needs you. Xavier is that kind of person that if he can totally control you, he will. Not because he wants you to be manipulated to his will, but because he can be sure that nothing will happen to you as long as you listen to him. If he has the chance and the opportunity, he will try to push away everyone he thinks is ''dangerous'' to you. He just wants what it's best for you, is that so wrong?

As you can see, he is madly protective of you, of your innocence. He won't be able to sleep peacefully if he's not sure you're okay, that you're safe and warm. Without you knowing it, many nights, he will invade your room just to watch you sleep, he feels at peace listening to your light breathing and watching how your chest rises with each breath. Those things soothed him because they reminded him that you were alive. That you are fine and safe. Xavier won't admit it, but he has a habit of smiling like a lovesick fool when he watches you sleep. You've really got it wrapped around his fingers, haven't you? After all, Xavier will never refuse a request from you, he can't bring himself to do it.

Xavier is quite possessive of you, but he tries not to show it because he doesn't want to make you upset with his jealousy. He tries to be as subtle and calm about it, but it's pretty obvious to onlookers how upset he gets when someone gets too close to you. Thorpe will stare with hateful glares and is clearly itching to pummel someone, but he will remain calm. He tries, however, for you. He doesn't want to scare you. Never. You don't have to be afraid of him, he could never hurt someone as innocent and precious to him as you are. Xavier is pretty self-contained when he's jealous, but he can still act recklessly if someone crosses a line with you, in which case he doesn't have any control over himself and what happens to that person. And he will not regret the acts he will commit.

Xavier Thorpe loves you with all his heart whether it's platonic or romantic, you are everything to him and you will always be the most important person in his life. He will love to draw you or use his powers to impress you and will feel proud of himself when he sees you excited when he does something for you. He likes to see you happy, your smile, in his opinion, makes the environment you are in much brighter. He idolizes you, in a way, and he's flattered to be able to witness you, to be able to be by your side all the time because that's what he does. He loves and hates your innocence and naivety at the same time and with the same intensity, but that's what makes you so special and he would never change that about you. Xavier cares for you and will always look out for you, even if you never realize it. He will always be here for you.

[inqilabi]

hi annie! i got married to someone after it was confirmed w our families agreed for us to get married (they are family friends ) i realized i actually don’t want to marry him. i went with it and now 2 years later im asking for a divorce my v traditional desi family are not going for it . don’t think he has even told his family. basically i’m being forced to stay in a marriage i don’t want to be in. we have no children together so there’s no shame to getting a divorce and moving on w our lives. idk just remember your post from back in the day with all your helpful advise and decided to reach out. x

Hi hun, thanks for reaching out. I am sorry to hear this. Definitely don't have kids of course.

I'm not sure where you live. But if it's not somewhere back home, and you are somewhere in the west. The best approach is to actually make a statement that "I am going to file for divorce" "or I have files for divorce" rather than consulting your parents and family and saying I am thinking about it, will you support me etc. the thing with dealing with parents is that if you give them an inch, they will take a mile.

So you simply cannot give them even an inch.

I'm not sure what your economic situation is. If you have a job, if you can find a place to stay somewhere for a little bit. That will give you some distance between your in-laws and your own family.

I'm not being hyperbolic when I say that the best way to deal with ethnic families on this matter is do the thing that you want to do. You have to commit to it 100%. Follow through on all the actions that entail commitment. It's hard and a lonely road. You won't really find support. And you can never show any doubt or that you want consultation or opinion. Because people will jump on that and confuse you.

Eventually some 5 years down the road your parents will come around to it. But most of this advice I think works better for the West than if you are back home. Since back home, the families are so entrenched in your daily affairs that you cannot do anything without permission.

[maidragoste]

Hi !

(Im the anon that said "DELICIOUS" when you wrote about rhaenyra and reader's crush on eachother, i also made some headcannons of the reader being able to fight and how that makes her closer to the boys, idk if ou remember me 😂 ,im saying this so i can ask to be 👻 anon)

About what the other anon said about jace and readers relationship, i had a thought that i would like to share 🥰

Remember when rhaenyra and daemon came back and saw the new state of the palace (it was all dark and religious)

-So imagine they get there and its all free spirited and disney-like, aegon is not drinking, aemond is reading and halaena is playing, when they just start running .

-is the reader, who is coming back from one of her "raids" .

-They all scream : "mama!", and they run to her to give her a hug.

- when rhaenyra sees her again is like she doesnt even recognize her, shes confident, powerfull.

-they all have dinner and it feels like rhaenyra and harwin were never missed, both of them look at her, how they are with the children, how jace admires her and how dismissive she is of them.

- also , i feel like daemon is going to have a arya stark and the hound friendship with her and its going to be cute.🤭❤

-harwin still wrotes for you and misses you, its somehow even worse, now you talk to him with pity, like he is a bother in your life

I love this story! Hope you find this cool!

Hi, anon, yes I remember you. I'm so glad you wrote again 🥰🥰

I apologize if I misunderstood any of the headcanons because I was somewhat confused and I don't know how well I understood. I understood that Rhaenyra and Harwin went somewhere and that Jacaerys stayed in King's Landing with Reader.

-I LOVE the idea of green kids calling the reader "mom" but I don't see them calling her that in public. It would draw a lot of attention. In public they would surely call her "aunt". But yes, every time she comes back from her trips or her raids they run to hug her 🥰🥰

-Now if Jacaerys called Reader "mom" in public that would make the whole court talk about it. Above all, people would point out how the princess's own son seemed to prefer Reader more and how she seems to be a better mother. That would be good for the greens because it's bad publicity for Rhaenyra. Why would they support Rhaenyra when it seems that not even her own son chooses her? Still, it's hard for me to imagine that happening because Jacaerys loves Rhaenyra. He loves both of his moms. He is the son of a divorce 😔

-Rhaenyra admiring Reader throughout dinner and trying to get her attention but Reader only has her attention on Alicent and the kids.

-I can see a friendship between Reader and Daemon because I feel that at one point the two came to love each other and respect each other a lot. Besides that Daemon loves the fact that Reader is a dragon rider and knows how to fight, I'm sure that on more than one occasion they fought among themselves and went flying together. But I feel like everything changes between them once Jacaerys is born. Daemon always admired Reader's fire and expected a reaction, he hoped she would make Harwin and Rhaenyra pay. Then he was disappointed to see that she did nothing. Before his eyes, Reader now became the same as the rest of the women of Westeros, letting herself be trampled on by her husband. And Reader is not stupid, she realizes how Daemon sees her now or treats her like before. This is sad because Daemon is only frustrated with Reader because he knows she has potential and he knows she's smart enough to find a way to get rid of Harwin but she still endures the humiliation of Harwin and Rhaenyra's affair. But what ends up breaking the friendship between Reader and Daemon are: The deaths of Laena and Laenor and the wedding of Daemon and Rhaenyra.

-Harwin will always have hope that one day you will give him a chance again…

Thanks again for writing to me, I hope to hear from you again soon and I hope you are well anon 🥰🥰💕💕

[spotaus]

Thinking Thoughts about Tulpa so I'm gonna write them and see if the Art Ghost comes back later to help fill in the gaps.

So, "Tulpa" is a nickname that's actually given to the pair indirectly by Nightmare.

In this AU he and Dream don't reconsile anytime soon, but he's one of the first to notice how weak his twins magic is. Dust landed a solid hit, so of *course* Dream is weak, but it's for a weirdly extended amount of time. He doesn't worry too much, he kinda hopes Dream is off somewhere is immense pain, but he definitely knows something is up.

When he finally encounters Dream again in battle, he notices how his brother's movements are choppy. Less fluid, as though he's expecting more reach from his arms or more length in his legs. As though he jumps too far abd is too light to balance. It reminds him of when he was first corrupted, when he couldn't move with his long and extra limbs. And Dream feels... muffled. Like his soul is being covered by something, a cloak of some kind. His aura is dampened too. Night isn't quite sure what it is, it's his brother's eyes and wayward convictions, but he can't share the feeling.

Then there's the day Dream's body seems to move on its own to avoid an ambush he certainly didn't see. The way Night recognizes, then, the glint in his dark socket. Dream had a tag-along. And while he wasn't sure who or what it was yet, he knew that his brother was different now. He told his boys that Dream was a 'Tulpa', something made up of the desires or those around him.

Nightmare knew his twin should still be unmoving. Maybe not dead, but his soul wasn't strong enough to support his body with that lasting injury Dust had caused. Dream would never give up the fight as long as there were people who wanted him to fight. Now he was giving up everything, even when he'd lost control of his body, to fight a useless war.

The gang started calling Dream 'Tulpa' when they saw him, which in turn led to Dream letting Fresh reveal himself sooner rather than later. Dream didn't hate the nickname though, so he asked others to adopt it later on.

Dream and Fresh aren't a fusion, but they are Soul-Bound now.

It was immediately after Fresh took his first bite of Dream's soul that it happened.

The Golden Apple which acts as Dream's soul has been storing his love and compassion and hope for YEARS now. Ever since he absorbed it. Just like every monster, it's the core of his being. Yet it's more. It's also the thing that compels him to uphold the balance, to fight Nightmare, to try and make everyone happy. He desires a peaceful world, so he does what he can to achieve that thanks to the apple's influence.

Fresh? He wants to feel full. Upon eating the apple, he is fundamentally altered. Not only can he survive like Dream does (absorbing positivity) but he also is Addicted to the aura of the apple. Dream has no part in this, it's just the nature of the Apples.

From the moment he took a bite, Fresh actively became... like... idk an Avatar (think The Magnus Archives) of that damn apple. Just-so-happens it's also bound to Dream, who has a vessel that just... Doesn't Decay.

Thanks to the apple, sometimes Dream abd Fresh act more like one person, each comfortably settled in the vessel at once. Sometimes they'll answer for themselves amd eachother. It's hard to unentagle them once Fresh finds it in him to be more devoted to Dream. So, they take on the name Tulpa to help save people some embarrassment.

Fresh can still leave Dream and inhabit other bodies.

Like I said, Fresh is Addicted to the apple, and Dream is the perfect body to linger in. But, sometimes two heads is better than one, or they have different plans that overlap. It's uncomfortable, like missing a piece of jewelry you always wear or forgetting your phone at home, so they don't do it often.

The good news is, Fresh is now much less likely to kill his hosts. He thrives on positivity now like Dream, and negativity (like from getting taken over by a parasite) actually feels like something to him now. So, he usually finds a willing host he can borrow the body of for an hour or two (his go-to is actually usually Blue (He cares a lot about Dream and trusts Fresh won't hurt him) or Ccino (too nice to really tell him no? Usually just a taste of Uncomfy rather than Terror).)

Once, Blue let Fresh take his body for the sake of hanging out with Dream in the omega timeline. They danced and had food and explored as much as they dared. They were able to hold hands and nuzzle skulls and kiss and hug and it was nice. Fresh likes to be able to give Dream a break sometimes, but he also loves to be able to smother him with affectionate actions from the outside and really get a good look at Dream's face.

Dream likes being able to hold Fresh's hands and see him in his full outfit without it being super baggy on himself. Dream *also* thinks it's a little weird when he kisses Fresh, knowing the body isn't technically his, but Blue (the wingman of all time) has given permission, and Dream doesn't do it often anyways.

And once or twice Fresh had appeared at a location after Dream arrives and scared the living heck out of folks just for fun.

DreamEater AU was a name I came up with after about 5 seconds of thought, but it IS symbolic.

So, it's kinda on the nose. Dream's soul is getting "eaten" by Fresh. That was the first reason I called it that, but the follow-up reasoning is just that... my headcanon for Dream is that he's constantly being eaten up by guilt, and stress, and the weight of expectations all baring down on him.

Dream, at this point in the au, never has a moment of positivity for himself. Always playing peace-keeper for everyone but himself, and he's hit his fuse. When Dust injures Dream, Dream is paralyzed from his neck down, some sort of magic flow imbalance. He literally cannot pick himself up and force himself to keep going.

That is, of course, until Fresh comes along and takes over Dream's vessel. Fresh literally eats him, yeah, but once they finally get to talking, Fresh eats away at Dream's persona. Fresh keeps Dream from overworking himself for people who don't need the help, he keeps Dream from being a push-over, and gives Dream a reason to be imperfect without shame. He literally eats away at the "Dream" people thought they knew and gives him a healthier and happier view on life.

And honestly, Fresh isn't even doing it out of kindness for Dream. His second nature is to call out bullshit when he sees it, and he just happens to see... a lot of it.

So, yeah, DreamEater AU is both silly and serious :) but wholly self-indulgent.

[forcebookish]

thanks for the tag, @retiredficwriter!!

Make a poll with 5 of your favorite rarepairs/crackships. See which one is everyone's favorite!

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT!

obviously, my favorite is kaibaek. i feel like i don't ship a lot of rarepairs so these were kind of hard to come up with after kaibaek and widowana fjdsljldg i might have forgotten a more obvious one, sorry!

tagging: @ariadnekurosaki @takeanumbrella @monwillica @sssneakiest and idk if it's my internet connection but tumblr isn't letting me tag anything else. if you wanna do it, do it and tag me! i wanna see your rarepairs :D

KAIBAEK

my exo otp and one of my ultimate OTPs. they had a bit of a rocky start and had a hard time getting close pre-debut, but once they did they now have a sincere trust for each other. they're caring and protective of one another: jongin (kai) running to baekhyun when he was injured, comforting each other when they cry (baekhyun following after jongin and holding his hand; jongin gently tugging at his ear), baekhyun leading jongin through the airport when he was sick, jongin drinking bitter juice for him in a batsu game (the reason i started shipping them), and so on. they've had to deal with a lot of similar situations wrt hate from fans (added to the group late, "overly" featured, dating scandals, etc.), as well as challenges with simply being in exo, superm, and sm in general. they admire each other, compliment and complement each other, and aspire to be as accomplished as each other; they support each other's solo careers and are always excited for each other. easily my favorite thing about them is why they're a rare pair in the first place, despite being in two groups together: their interactions, even the more affectionate ones, are rarely played up for fanservice. it's often little, private moments where they lean on each other or are affectionate in some other way. like THIS:

it's just so subtle and intimate? it's for no one but them. most of these kind of moments like the ones i've mentioned and others, can only be found on fancams! also they're really playful!!!!! i love them!!

WIDOWANA

my overwatch otp. friends (or lovers if you're delulu like me) to enemies to attempted killers. after thinking amélie (widowmaker) dead for a year, ana snipes her helmet on the battlefield, revealing who widowmaker actually is. once ana realizes it's her friend, she can't pull the trigger. ana, who never hesitates, hesitates for the first time, and widowmaker shoots her cybernetic eye out. they have an adversarial and competitive relationship now that they're both snipers on opposite ends of the war, trading barbs and pity for the other's situation. as the top two deadliest snipers in the world, they're kind of obsessed with one another and specifically outdoing each other. it provides a lot of tension and potential angst, especially of the "i know you're in there somewhere, come back to me" variety.

ISHINEMU

so rare even i don't talk about them (i tend to ship ishihime more, although even that is third after tatsuhime and ulquihime). SO much wasted potential! both of them have been wronged so acutely by mayuri and i think there are a lot of daddy issues to explore between the two of them. plus, uryuu seems to be literally the only person in the series who sees nemu as a person. shame their relationship, and mayuri medically torturing uryuu's grandfather AND the way he abuses nemu, was played for laughs later on lol good one, kubo :/

SHONEJING

jing is my name for him, he's a fusion of "force" who showed up in only boo! and that one guy in you fight, and i love (i'd use the nickname of what character from the novel he's supposed to be, but i couldn't find it lol). i have a fic in mind i wanna write for them and it would have been another entry into the hurt/comfort bingo, but it accidentally ended up too long. the headcanon is that jing is deeply closeted and shone is addicted to heartbreak.

TYLOKKA

idk i just like them. i think ty lee's crush on him is cute.

with a couple exceptions, i tend not to care about popular enemies to lovers ships but when it comes to rarepairs, apparently they're my preference? 🤔

[ca-suffit]

I generally *don't* dislike devils minion as a ship. I like it even...But sometimes I think about blocking it even though there is good content i like to see on it.

But the tag is filled with people who hate loumand, people who try to put shippers down. I don't see that much hate even from loustat fans.

One of the things I repeatedly see that gets on my nerves is the "armand pays more attention to daniel in dubai then he does to louis" take.

I understand they probably will happen in following seasons. But to think that armand was secretly in love with daniel the whole time in dubai is such a weird take to me. Do you think it has any base or is it just the fans trying to push their own narrative? Am I crazy to think that armand looked like he was completely in love with louis in dubai, despite their problems, and didn't really care about daniel outside of louis?

I get that they will get together in the future and i will support them and nod along when that happens. But they clearly didn't happen in season 2. There was just too much resentment on both sides and they both clearly cared more about louis. Am i crazy to think that?

I think first of all that ppl should relax trying to attack each other over which ships they like or not. it's pointless and everyone is with everyone else eventually so there's no reason to be going at each other about any of it. this was way less intense before the show aired bcuz everyone was white. now it's insane bcuz there's a lot of racist motivations fueling the protection or rejection of these ships. we can all just breathe (this is a general statement, not rly aimed at u).

secondly tho. I think the show has made a lot of things intentionally ambiguous. I can't say one way or another what armand is thinking bcuz the way he looks at daniel at times could read either way. he *is* focused on daniel in one sense bcuz daniel is *the enemy.* once armand was no longer rashid, he could more directly confront daniel and he did (not like being rashid stopped him fully anyway but lol). but there's times he's uncharacteristically gentler on daniel than louis is, like during the engagement mind-reading fuckery. I think it's meant to read as both, if u have awareness of DM. I don't think it's meant to be THERE there rn but a detail to notice and think is kind of fun (hard for this fandom to do tho, ik lol).

idk when DM is meant to take place in this universe, but I think there's something to be said about viewing all of them after 2x5. armand has remembered that entire thing the whole time and yet they're back here again. he'd otherwise erased both of their memories so neither one remembered the "fascinating" segment and he prbly figured the risk of louis thinking that again after so much time and in a different mindset was v low. but louis is still talking to the man he said was more fascinating as a stranger than armand had been for decades. and they're talking about lestat again. "ur going to teach me how to be fascinating" is prbly still in there somewhere. armand is always watching both of them bcuz he still wants to know what this means and why it happened.

it kind of mirrors jonah in S1. even tho louis doesn't explicitly tell lestat not to touch him, we learn that he lived to old age too. it makes claudia's death even worse but anyway I'm getting kind of OT.

but he definitely is v invested in louis too and is putting a lot into making the relationship look good. some of my fav parts are from some of those scenes tbh, when he's just smiling and recounting memories with louis in front of daniel. or even when he runs out as rashid to stop louis from attacking daniel again over claudia's diaries in S1, which now has more context knowing their history and louis' desire to not have harm come to daniel.

[beifong-brainrot]

Ships you like and dislike for a few characters and why ? I’m interested in your thoughts and analysis. Don’t have to answer all of them I would just love to see some. Tysm and have a good day 💗🤍.

Bolin ( obvi)

Wei

Suyin

Lin

Asami

If you don’t ship Bopal who do you ship Opal with ?

Bumi II

Huan

So for Bolin, I don't have many ships I like for him other than weilin? I think a lot of his canon ships share the theme of either enabling his infantilisation or patronising him. Bolin needs a partner that would support amd challenege him into maturing, but the writers won't give that to us because writing character development is hard.

At least with weilin I can work with my own ideas?

Mind you it's not that I can't get behind other ships, in the right setting,I'm just very picky about how Bo is characterised.

As for Wei, he doesn't have a lot of interactions with any characters outside of Bolin, so I really don't have a lot of ships with him.

One thing I'm sick of seeing is Beifong family incest? If my daily scouring of the web for weilin crumbs is interrupted by a threesome between Wei, Wing and THEIR FATHER, I will blow this solar system into smithereens.

I'm pretty vanilla when it comes to Suyin ships. I adore Sutar they're adorable and I wish we could've seen them when they were younger. I adore the idea of Suyin finding someone to build a life with, I adore the theme of carving out and building a place to call home together, I adore how they're the poster children for malewife/girlboss.

Though one of my crackships is Suyin x any member of the Red Lotus. This would probably place itself somewhere in my Red Lotus! Beifongs AU.

I'm not too fond of Suvira? Like I absolutely get the appeal, in theory. And while Kuvira doesn't consider the Beifongs family, she has been under Suyin's care since she was 8. Most mentor/protégé ships aren't my cup of tea. There are very specific exceptions, but as a rule of thumb, I shy away from this theme.

For Lin, I'm very partial to Linzolt, thanks to my wife. Very interesting dynamic. I also like shipping Lin with women of course; Kyalin, Linsuko, Lin x Buttercup Raiko - all bangers. I like Linzin for what it could've been. I also think Lin x Pema is a fun crackship. Maybe they saw Korrasami and were like: 'hey why not?'. I do however like Lin with Tenzin and Pema together? They'd be a cute throuple. I have a tendency to enjoy shipping Lin with married couples because I tend to ship Lin with San and Naoki as well (Mako and Bolin's parents)

Asami. Like most of the fandom, I adore korrasami. Though I'll be honest when I say... masami was kinda cute? Honestly, any ship where Asami is happy gets a thumbs up from me.

That being said I'm always in the market for some toxic yuri, so Asami x Kuvira or Asami x Jargala are both very intriguing to me.

Another one of my favourite guilty pleasure ships I'm much too invested in is Opal x Asami.

Think about it. They're both rich girls who were isolated from the world. Imagine them sharing stories of the wide world. Imagine Asami upgrading Opal's wingsuit and Opal bringing Asami trinkets from all the places her Air Nomad journeys take her. Imagine Asami getting a real family as the Beifongs adopt her. Her getting a father that would never betray her in Baatar Sr.

Idk I think they'd be good for each other. I think I need to make a longer post on Asami x Opal.

Opal is my favourite female tlok character (Bolin being my fave male character) and tbh I hate her being demoted to a love interest.

That doesn't mean I don't ship her with anyone.

Sapphic Opal has my heart and soul. I ship her with most female characters of the show. Korpal? Exquisite, did you see the synchronised airbending scene? Opalvira? Love their divorced vibe in rote! Opal x Asami? Unsung favourite! Opal x Eska? Opal x Ginger? Yesyesyes!

My one straight ship for Opal is Mako x Opal because I think they'd be good for one another.

Bumi II x Suyin Beifong's chef is my horrible creation. I think this post I made months ago explains it perfectly:

I don't have any particular ships for Huan. I'm quite open to most ships with him, since in my personal opinion he's the most romantic of the Beifong siblings. I can see him with Desna or Eska, Tahno or Ryu the airbender. Mako x Huan is also sweet when you think of it. I think if them both as such big brothers.

I'm not very into Huan x Ikki. Like, I do get why people like it. And I'm not that against age gap relationships. One of the healthiest relationships i know irl has a huge age gap. I just see Ikki and Huan as having such a big brother/little sister relationship it's very hard for me to swap to seeing them as anything romantic. Perhaps as a onesided puppy crush on Ikki's side but anything more is a big big no no

Thanks for the ask, anon, I had fun answering this one! And if you want me to elaborate on any of the mentioned ships, I'll be happy to ramble!

[idyllic-affections]

hey I really liked your angle kisses with kaveh. can I request an angsty fic with kaveh where the reader has difficulty accepting affection cause they've never had it before and think it's mocking and condescending instead?

may my guard never drop, for should my heart be allowed to breathe, i fear i may cause you harm.

summary. vulnerability is difficult. trigger & content warnings. none applicable. tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. soft angst. kaveh x reader. 0.6k words. they/them pronouns for reader. author's thoughts. FIRST ANON LETS GO!!!! hi lovely, im so glad you liked angel kisses. i hope you'll like this one too <3 it is short, but it actually ended up being a little longer than i anticipated. on a different note, idk why but i title some of my works as if i was a brooding poet LMAO

       Kaveh was an affectionate man.

       Anyone who knew him could say such a thing with confidence; he was passionate about everything he did, and naturally, that included expressing his affection towards his loved ones. In fact, it seemed that he became even more impassioned when it came to that. Unlike most Akademiya graduates, Kaveh was driven largely by emotion rather than logic, and his emotions were very plentiful. That fact was no secret.

       As such, it would come as no surprise that the architect was fluent in virtually every love language.

       Was someone he cared for dreading doing a particular tedious chore? Oh, no worries—he'd already taken care of it before they could get too stressed over it; stress isn't good for the body nor the mind, after all. Did they want to go somewhere in particular? He would be glad to accompany them, especially if they felt unsafe going alone. Was a friend of his from the Akademiya feeling insecure about a rejected thesis? He'd sing their praises for hours on end, taking the opportunity to both support his friend and outwardly oppose the Sages and their close-minded interpretation of wisdom.

       Kaveh was a lover with a heart too big for his chest to contain, and to some, a fool.

       However, a fool wouldn't see the things he did. Yes, perhaps once in a while, he'd be blindsighted by his boundless ardor, but he was not blind to discomfort—he was not blind when it came to harming others. It was something he tried to avoid as much as he possibly could. He was not blind to the way [Name] would avoid his touches oh-so diligently, how the contact seemed to agitate them. He noticed. He saw. He was no fool. Still...

       He hated not being able to understand why. For a self-proclaimed empath, he was having a terribly difficult time figuring it out.

       "Do you not like when I touch you?"

       Archons above, he looked like a kicked puppy, scarlet eyes wide and expression borderline pouty. Expressive and passionate he certainly was. They grimaced, turning back to the fruit stall in front of them and picking out the sunsettias they deemed to be of the best quality. Firm fruit was generally of higher quality than soft fruit.

       "It's... not that, Kaveh."

       He wordlessly waited for them to continue, reaching out to squeeze their hand in what would have been a reassuring manner, only for them to draw their arm away from him.

       A pained look flashed briefly across his features.

       "...I just find it condescending. It's not you."

       "Why? Who made you feel that way?"

       "I don't know, okay?" A deep sigh left through their nose. "I know you don't mean it like that, but old habits die hard, I guess. It's like... It makes me feel like I'm being treated like a child who can't handle themselves, being coddled and pampered... I don't like it."

       Vulnerability was a difficult thing. To be truly, earnestly open and honest with someone... the thought alone made their throat tighten uncomfortably, stomach twisting at the simple thought. Many scholars did not openly embrace vulnerability, deeming it to be a "hinderance to the pursuit of wisdom"; they were hardly any different, only they encouraged it in others while refusing to embrace it themselves. However, hypocrisy was unbecoming of an intelligent person. They couldn't be bothered to care.

       The act of being vulnerable did not come to them easily.

       Responding with aggression, however, did. It had happened more than once with other people who were a bit too pushy. They knew very well that Kaveh didn't deserve that, though.

       "[Name]—"

       "Can we talk about this later?" they murmured, gnawing on the corner of their lip. "I'm not in a good enough place to talk about this right now. You're sensitive, Kaveh. I don't want to hurt you."

       Without waiting for a response, they quickly turned on their heel, the intention of fruit shopping being long forgotten as they darted towards one of the ways out of the Grand Bazaar.

       The architect only watched motionlessly in uncharacteristic silence as they left, the sting of rejection searing his skin.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[cryptidsurveys]

Thursday, December 5th, 2024.

At your part of the world, is it summer now?: It's currently autumn, verging on winter.

What’s the warmest it can get over there? How about the coldest?: According to Google… "Over the year, the temperature varies from 19F to 92F and is rarely below 5F or above 100F." However, a few years ago, we experienced temperatures somewhere around -20* during the day, which is incredibly unusual for us. Also, I believe it was last January, there was one night / early morning when temperatures dipped down to around -17*. I remember that pretty vividly because my dad and I went out to do our weekly shopping trip and one of the cashiers said something about how they wouldn't go out in that weather unless they had to. To me, though, it was simply a challenge to be accepted. ;D

Is there a bad habit you’re trying to break right now?: Participating in gossip. I'm such a nosy bastard and it's such an easy thing to slip into, particularly when I have my own negative thoughts or complaints about the person in question. It's also hard to avoid because I feel like my silence or noncommittal responses will come across badly to the person doing the complaining, as though I disagree with them or don't support them or whatever. But I'm trying to get to the point where I won't say anything I wouldn't say directly to someone's face. I might be a chameleon people-pleaser, but this is at least one area where I think my morals supersede my desire to be accepted.

Is it easy to find a job in your preferred field in your home town?: It's not that easy. A few months ago, back when we had some significant openings, I remember Leslie saying something like, "We've got 180 applicants and I don't want to hire any of them." To anyone wishing to get in, at least where I'm at, I would strongly recommend volunteering. That way you're something of a known entity. I have extremely limited work experience, but due to my consistent presence and performance, I've been offered a job and would probably be immediately hired if I jumped on the next available cattery position.

When is the last time you went to a fun fair?: I went to the Chili Festival in 2023. I skipped it this year because it was shortly after all that family drama went down and I was NOT feeling it.

How about an amusement park?: I haven't been to one since I was a teen.

Did you/will you take part in your city’s Pride parade this year?: No.

If not, why not?: It's just not my cup of tea.

Ladies: Would you ever consider proposing? If not, why not?:

Gentlemen: How would you feel, if you were proposed to?: Assuming it was a proposal from someone I loved and wanted to marry, then I would be absolutely over the moon about it.

Have you ever played the original Mass Effect trilogy?: No.

If so, which Shepard and who do you like romancing the best?:

Let’s say there’s a person in need. They need money which they can’t make. Would you be more likely to help them out, if a celebrity asked you to?: No.

When you go to a restaurant, do you have a go-to dish?: It depends on the restaurant. Sometimes I have a few "go-to" dishes or meals I know I would enjoy.

Or do you always try out something new?: I'm more open to trying new things that I was in the past, but I still stick to things that are relatively familiar. However, lately, I've been ordering salads because I can't seem to refrain from stuffing myself on larger meals, which doesn't make me feel the greatest. I think I'm still dealing with a "feast or famine" mindset due to my eating disorder. It's hard to mindfully check in with myself and stop when I'm comfortably full.

Would you rather live next to a kindergarten or an old folks’ home?: An old folks home. I don't want to deal with school traffic.

What was the last game that you played?: I have no idea.

What do you know about Finland?: Not much. Just Moomins.

Where was the postcard from that travelled the longest way to you?: Idk.

Have you ever made jewelry?: Mostly cheap plastic kid stuff, but we did go to this one shop and make somewhat nicer jewelry as part of a group outing when I was in treatment for my eating disorder as a teen.

Have you ever upcycled anything? If so, what?: I haven't.

Which app do you use the most on your phone?: YouTube.

Did you learn to play an instrument as a kid? If so, which one?: Piano (private lessons) and clarinet (through school). I mean, if you consider knowing "hot cross buns" as learning how to play the clarinet. :')

What is the best part of your most ordinary day?: It kind of depends on the day. On my days off, I love spending extra time with my dad and kitties, making art, baking, taking surveys, lazing around in bed while watching YouTube, etc. On work days, I love the quiet moments before everyone shows up - making a pot of coffee, starting the laundry - and the final evening push to get everything wrapped up. I also enjoy the drive home, especially in the dark. Unwinding while listening to classical music. Then a shower and dinner with my dad.

If you learned that you suddenly needed an aid of some sort to do something that you normally don’t need (glasses, hearing aid, etc.), would you comply or would you put it off until there was no choice anymore?: I've been putting off wearing glasses aside from driving. It's just so hard to get used to them in everyday life and I can still function without them.

Do you enjoy being on your own?: I've spent more than enough time on my own over the past decade-plus. I still need my alone time to decompress and catch up on hobbies and such, but being around other people on a regular basis is extremely important for my mental health.

Or are you happier when there’s a crowd around you? Like a massive crowd or just a group of people? Crowds are tolerable to a point and I can be happy in a group depending on the vibe.

Have you ever been to a zoo? If so, which one(s)?: I've been to the zoo within my own city, the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo, and the Denver Zoo. Probably a couple of others, but I was too young to really remember them.

How about petting zoos?: Possibly.

Have you thrown your “winter coat” off yet?: No.

Do you ever look up what foreign idioms mean?: I probably have.

What’s the strangest saying you’ve come across?: No idea.

What’s a First World problem that you have?: Scraping my car windows on frosty mornings.

Do you use food products that are advertised as more healthy?: Sometimes. I'm definitely not a health food fanatic, but I try to eat…relatively healthily…I guess.

Does it matter to you if the produce you use is organic?: Not really. Like, it's not something I tend to specifically seek out.

If so, why?:

What has been the worst sort of physical pain that you have felt?: Migraines, tooth aches, and that earache I had in 2020.

Are your pains generally more acute or chronic?: Chronic.

Do you collect anything?: I don't.

If you could be doing absolutely anything right now, what would it be?: Picnicking or hiking in the Mountain Park.

Do you read any web comics?: Not currently. I read a great deal of Homestuck back when that was a thing, though.

Which social media platform do you use the most, if any?: Tumblr and Instagram.

Have you ever made a parody version of a popular song?: I mean, randomly off the the top of my head, sure. <-Same.

Which game did you play the most as a kid during recess?: Probably "pretend" or games like tag, hide-and-seek, etc.

[fangirlanxiety74]

Might delete this later idk

I just feel so stressed and hopeless. Doom scrolling is so hard to stop when it's all your algorithm pushes you. If it's not Tiktok, it's here with mutuals reblogging it. Or a million and one asks in my askbox of potential bots begging me to give them money. If it's not here, it's bluesky. If it's not bluesky, it's somewhere else. It's everything. It's everywhere. I don't know how to escape it.

I don't want my mutuals to stop reblogging it, please keep that in mind if you, a mutual, does read this. Don't stop spreading the word. People need to see it. I need to see it.

I'm just, so weak, though. I don't know. I see it all and my only thought is how awful of a person I am. How I'm not doing more. I'm not protesting in the streets and putting myself at risk of harm or death (I'm too scared to die. It's why I'm alive. I'm too scared to die), I'm not reblogging enough resources, I'm not donating (I can barely afford to care for myself, but I feel this need to give everyone my money anyway because they need it more), I'm not listening good enough, I'm not doing enough, I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough.

I want to be a good person. I want to be someone who people feel safe around, and feel supported by, and can look to for advice and help when they need it. I want to give everyone everything they ever need to be happy but I can't, I can't help, I can only watch the world crumble and feel like I'm not doing my part and that means it's somehow my fault, at least partly.

I'm so tired. And I'm privileged. I live in a blue state. I can pass as white. I can pass as straight. I'm cis. I'm privileged as all hell. I tick off every box besides being a woman, and a young one at that. I'm 22, I look 16 (not a good thing- I'm very afraid of what it means when a man shows interest in me. My first thought always jumps to "How old does he think I am?"). I can't fight. I don't know self defense. I'm physically weak. I'm short and don't weigh much. It's so easy to kill me. But I'm privileged because they won't think of me when they want to kill someone. They'll think of my friends. They'll think of my partner. They'll think of innocents who don't look or talk like me. That's so scary. It's so scary that I can't help them. How can I help them? I want to be good. I want to help. I'm so tired.

I don't know. I don't want to look away from it all. But I don't think I can keep looking anymore. Because I can only do so much. I'm just one person.

I think back to the person who once thanked me on this site, for reblogging resources and links to donations for people in need, and I told them the same thing I'm saying now: Don't thank me. Because it's the bare minimum. It's just what a good person would do. It's what any person should do. It's such a small ask. How come I'm being thanked for just one small ask? Thank the people who are really making a change. The ones who go out and find these people in need, who actively go out in the world and protest for their rights, and put their lives at risk, and have the money to give away to help. Thank them, not me. I'm not anything like that. I'm just one person. And I'm small, and I'm weak, and I'm not good enough to be thanked.

I don't know. I don't know. I just. Oh god, what do I do? There's too much going on. I want to look away from it all. I have a convention to attend today. How can I do that and play dress up and buy a cute charm when there's people's rights being taken away? Am I part of the problem from doing that?

I don't want to live if I can't do more to help. But i'm too scared to die.

[enderwolf91]

Alright I do this every season now but I wanna talk about the s13 skins. It's not full of negativity, I promise, just me rambling about each of the skins they've shown us cause I wanted to do a deep dive into them

**Spoilers to the s13 trailer, go watch it if you want a better look at the skins/some extra things I don't touch on here

1. Widow Mythic

Lowkey. Love this skin. It's actually so well made and cute and detailed. As a Widow player km happy with this skin. Was I hoping Ramattra (or another tank) to get the mythic this season? Yes, absolutely. But I read a comment somewhere that gave a decent reasoning to why there's been more dps mythics; because there's more dps.

Looking at it as a bigger picture, if Blizzard were to stick to the rotation idea they had originally, then we'd go through the tank roster in just a couple of seasons, then we'd go through the support, and we'd have a large chuck of time of only dps mythics until a new tank or support was added to the game. Do I like that they did 3 dps in a row? No, not really, I feel like this season could have been a tank and maybe next a dps or whatever, but from now on I'm expecting there to be 2-3 seasons in a row of dps mythics because there's a larger amount of them than the other two roles.

2. BP Skins pt 1

Okay. For starters, in case anyone can't immediately recognize who each character

Ana, Sojourn, Sigma, J. Queen, Torbjorn

First off, Gnome Torb is not at all what I was expecting but sends me into a fit of giggles every time I see him.

Secondly, necromancer-esqe JQ skin is awesome. Love the design and color scheme for her.

Sigma, interesting skin compared to the rest but I've come to accept that BP skins don't always (any at all) follow the BP theme. (at least this theme pretty much all the skins do somehow fit the theme, and I can see some arguments made for Sigma here). Not to say this is a bad skin though, I actually really like it; a lot more than the sailor skin honestly.

Sojourn looks a bit... flat out of them. There just isn't as much detail going on compared to the other four, which is unfortunate but maybe it's because of the camera angle/pose she's in that hides more details. 100% love the gun design though. I'm glad they gave Sojourn a skin too.

Okay. I genuinely could not tell who the first person was. I fully thought it was Junkrat because of the crouch/hunched over pose. But then I saw everyone calling them Ana, and then I saw another photo with them stand straight up and with Ana's gun. So apparently that's Ana. Great skin, I just wish they chose a different pose for this photo cuz it's hard to tell who it is (for me at least).

3. BP Skins pt 2

There's a lot here so I'll keep it short (and go in order)

Winston. I like it, it's a nice skin though a bit hard to see fully since he's in the back. I'm just kinda glad they didn't recolor his werewolf skin.

Mercy. If I you are new to my account, I am a Mercy main. Fully and wholeheartedly. I feel like this skin is a bit... unneeded at the moment. Given she's gotten a handful of skins recently but that's just common for this game so I'm not gonna talk into a brick wall. I'm not huge fan of this skin visually, idk just doesn't appeal to me but I'm sure it does to others.

Tracer. Not gonna talk about Tracer getting a BP skin and a collab skin in the same season. Good skin as well, though i feel like they felt the need to just, slap on some animal ears? I don't really see the point in them I feel like the skin didn't need the ears but sure.

Symmetra. My girl is slaying front and center. I feel like they tend to make really good skins for Sym, when she does get a skin. Also, I'm questioning the kitties with her and JQ. New Victory poses maybe? I love that they're matching either way.

Kiriko. Genuinely, its decent. Definitely not her best skin, but I can see people using it. (shes getting 3 skins this season everyone :D)

Illari. Not a fan of the hair...? it looks like they gave her a bob cut from the front, but I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be like a braided crown? Correct me if I'm wrong? I love the dress though. Love that they're giving the sun based character such a dark and gloomy appearance, it fits her personality sm despite literally radiating the sun.

Ashe. My honest opinion, and maybe a hot take idk, I don't look at Ashe skins for Ashe. I look at them for Bob. Sure some of them Ashe looks good, but for me it's Bob that carries the skins. It's literally the reason I didn't get the Ashe mythic despite playing her. I'd have only gotten it because of Bob. I like the color scheme of this skin, and in this one Ashe does look really cool, but like Sojourn it's a bit lacking compared to the rest. To me it's only compelling aspect is the neon color, it's the only feature that draws me to the skin tbh.

4. Recolors

I'm gonna keep this brief. Cool, variants to already existing skins. I'm not spending the same amount of coins for a recolor as I did for the original, I hate that that's normal.

Anyone can make a recolor, I can make one. You can make one. They shouldn't cost as much as the original if all your doing is picking new colors and maybe adding/removing a small feature of the original.

There's been an influx of recolors with the magma and ocean bundles that were in the shop, to this season, and I'm sure plenty of more coming soon. I just want them to be discounted a bit, maybe if the original costs gold coins, have the recolor cost white instead idk.

5. New Tank

So maybe no mythic, but tank players will be getting a new hero added to their roster; so I hope they aren't super mad (I genuinely don't know how to feel about it I have barely over 10 hours on tank I'm being so fr)

I'm hoping they shake up the game (in a healthy way). With Orisa back in rotation and Hog/Mauga sitting to the side ready to ruin the game at a moments notice again, I'm hoping this new tank is balanced and fun to play for tank players, and doesn't get hard countered by a majority of the roster (or just Sombra) and makes them unplayable.

-=+=-

Okay, I think that's it. Idk if I'll add more once we see the full bp, probably not tbh I feel like it'll be redundant. I didn't talk about the gamemode or map changes cause I wanna see more about them before commenting about them.

For now tho, the gamemode looks interesting, I'll be happy to try it. I'm so glad they're doing more map changes, I hope along with them they add more seasonal variants to newer maps but I'll wait and see.

I can't believe I have to add this as well, but with how last szn trailer went I'm going to for the sake of my sanity and people who interact with this post;

**Please consider that these are all my opinions and thoughts after watching the s13 trailer and seeing photos on twt. Don't hate just because I don't agree with your opinion. You are entitled to your own opinions as I am to mine. I don't want to see any hate/targeted comments or dms this time.

I actively chose not to mention Venture in the main post because I already know doing so will attract people to make negative comments. I am aware they didn't get a skin, and I'm not expecting (but hoping) for them to get anything in the BP. Last time I made a post on a szn trailer and included Venture I had people being bigoted and disrespectful, and have since blocked them;

I will continue that notion for anyone who follows their footsteps, don't be negative or disrespectful to me or anyone active on this post. (Please feel free to comment/reblog your thoughts in a positive, non-abrasive way, don't not attack or out right reject others opinions for your own.) Thank you.**