#idk it gets tiring sometimes anyways whoops

[beesorcery]

google how do i tell my dad that the reason i keep bringing up elon musk's transphobia isn't that i've got gen z political tunnel vision that makes me blind to his "innovation" in electric cars but because i am desperately crying out for you as the father of a trans child to feel just as outraged and angry as i am that that man has so much power

[neverendingford]

.

[irishmammonagenda]

Hii!! 🧚‍♀️It's Wee Emo anon 🍾

Really liked your last work, so here i am again

Can i request brothers reaction on MC who cry over small things?

Like they see little kitten on the street and - WHOOP! - they're bubbling sobbing mess

I'm kinda can't cry (sounds dramatic lol) and wanna MC to feel it instead of me 😬

Love your works, keep going bestie💐🏃‍♂️

HI WEE EMO <3 please ignore the fact you sent me this on april 27th and its now june i had gcses to prepare for 😔✊

anyway, who let you into my house 😧🤨

no seriously i've cried at multiple south park episodes. south park. sometimes i wanna cry when i see my dog i cannot be trusted i tear up so easily especially when im writing🙁

for not being able to cry that is not very good for you fr:

i used to not be able to cry + still only really tear up, some tears drip down and let out like 2 sobbing sounds before im good again, i dont even have to try and stop crying, two sobs and im done, but my biggest tip is, get tired like really sleepy to the point where your eyes water bc of tiredness then watch something really sad.

i ha to literally train myself to be able to cry again bro dw, i wish i could have a big long cry but like 3 mins of crying is better than none, trust me wee emo you'll feel better

#dontbottleupyouremotions

ANYWAY:

this was very hard to imagine their reactions to idk why, but i tried so 😔✊

grma wee emo for requesting <3 and grma everyone else for reading <3

Obey Me Brothers With a Sensitive MC <3

It was safe to say you were sensitive, back when Melanie Martinez's music was a lot better, you really could say that the song 'Crybaby' pretty much encapsulated your entire being, it still did, but you liked to think you were more mature in your music taste now. (You weren't)

Being suddenly catapulted into the Devildom did a number on your emotions, and you found yourself quite numb. But as you adjusted, and bonded with the others, you found that you were back to your usual self, which was a crybaby.

So then how do the brothers react?

LUCIFER

Great. Two Mammons.

At least Mammon No.2 (you) isnt a tsundere about it.

Lucifer does not like seeing you cry. Even if its because something is cute, (although he does find it quite adorable, not that he'd admit it)

This demon is of the opinion that tears should never disgrace your beautiful eyes.

He will invite you to listen to his records with him and purposely put on sad ones or really sweet ones so you grip onto him while you tear up,

He is a demon, after all. ;)

MAMMON

Finally. Someone who cries more than him!

It actually makes him feel safer around you, like you wont bully him for being more sensitive than his brothers.

Actually ends up dropping a lot of his tsundere act around you.

You watch movies together, but always have to check the Devildom version of 'doesthedogdie.com'

Idk, I feel like Mammon would give you a bit of bother for it at first but then slowly start to like, open up more, because he really does see himself in you like that.

LEVIATHAN

He blanks.

One day you start crying because of how cute the anime you both were watching was, Levi thought you were geniunely upset, so he tried to cheer you up.

You end up thinking that its really sweet and start crying harder.

Leviathan PANICKS.

Even now, he still gets really nervous when you start crying, and has popped into his demon form more times than he can count when you grab onto him and sniffle.

Please he's already so awkward he can't handle how cute you are.

You might make him start crying as well :(

SATAN

Satan 100% gets so angry he starts crying so he can kind of understand it.

He's just glad you cry over positive things :)

His favourite moment was definetly when you teared up over a small kitten. (He took several photos and also took the kitten home)

Like Lucifer he 100% invites you to read with him and picks the fluffiest most adorable romance he can find, or the saddest most heartbreaking romance he can find.

He likes when you cling onto him and look up at him with those big teary eyes.

He's a demon. What did you expect, ;)

ASMODEUS

He thinks you're adorable.

Any emotion on your face is adorable to him actually. <3

If you wear makeup he makes sure to get you waterproof mascara and other eye makeup so your beautiful tears dont ruin your beautiful makeup <3

If any of you remember that crying girl makeup trend? Yeah he deffo starts that up in the Devildom (a) to make you feel less embarrassed about it and (b) because he thinks youre so beautiful when you express yourself.

BEELZEBUB

He doesn't cry a lot, it's not exactly something that comes naturally to him at all.

Its not that he CANT cry or that he holds his tears back, its just that he doesn't normally process or reaction to things with tears.

Only in serious serious situations will he cry.

So when he sees you crying over one of those little onigiri things that are literally adorable, he thinks that you've somehow hurt yourself. (i nabbed this off of pinterest)

Beel panics, and mentally goes over the ingredients in his head, did he order something with an ingredient that was dangerous to humans?

He calms down when he realises that you're crying because it looks cute.

He feels you with that.

Makes an effort to take you to more places with food items displayed in cute ways.

Though you do have to look away while Beel cuts them up for you, otherwise you wouldnt be able to eat it.

BELPHEGOR

He laughs at you.

Point blank.

Originally when he's in the attic he uses your sensitivity as a way to manipulate you.

But post lesson 16, he really starts to appreciate it more.

This bastard will use his powers as the youngest sibling against you, he'll dress up in cute onesies and give you puppy eyes, all to coax you into taking naps with him.

Which you do.

I have no idea how half of these fuckheads would react tbh

[chibishortdeath]

I got a new sketchbook since I filled one recently :3c. Shout out to suddenly getting a ton of energy and drawing bizarre fanart at 1 am 💀💀💀.

I’m putting the more violent ones under a cut even if the post is already tw tagged because of the subject matter being a bit dark d(^^ ).

Along with explanations for all of them of course!

⚠️tw for self harm and burning past this point⚠️

First one (before the cut) is just some pose practice. Simon’s just sitting, all sad and mopey. There’s also a little chibi doodle of him in the bottom corner and a little pose armature in the top corner for a pose I didn’t even end up drawing whoops lol. I feel like I drew his face a little differently than I usually do in this one :O. Idk how that happened lol.

This one is to show the differences in anatomy between each game! The curse takes a lot out of him, poor guy, so he’s a bit less jacked than usual 😔. Well, more specifically he doesn’t have as much of a layer of protective fat anymore. And he’s also very tired :(. But yeah, this is just a reference I’ll look back at to keep this detail consistent! I was going to put scar reference on it too, but I completely forgot and eh it mighta made it kinda hard to make out anyway d(- - ).

I drew this side profile of Simon while watching a video talking about lost media stuff. I think the image I based it on was something Saki Sanobashi related, idk I just liked the vibes of the hair being blown back by wind and got inspired :). And yes I know that Saki is probably a hoax 💀💀💀💀💀, I didn’t have much interest in it tho tbh, besides just hoping something lost gets found in general. Lost media videos are honestly great for putting on as background noise when drawing :)

Simon is totally me when I have a crisis and cover my face with my hands, but make sure one eye is visible and miraculously out of shadow for dramatic effect!!!

Ok spookier stuff time, first of the below the cut drawings. This one is based on how sometimes vampires are depicted as being able to drain someone from long distances or beyond the grave. Dracula is mean, and Simon is suffering from the curse, the usual. Augh I actually need to do things cause I keep thinking of a cool scene of Simon having a weird Dracula nightmare and then waking up to see it wasn’t a dream, and that’s tropey as hell, but it’s spooky!!! Do you see my vision?

This is a depiction of like what happens with a game over or something :O. Like an absolute worst possible outcome: Simon dies and Dracula is unsealed and fully regenerated. I basically just took is Simon’s Quest design and then rehydrated it and tada, Dracula is no longer a skeleton— He ends up looking way more like Vlad the Impaler in this outfit hmmm. Also, unrelated, but a friend of mine mistook Dracula for Jesus in this drawing 💀💀💀.

Oh boy, edgy depictions of uh a lot of not being very kind to yourself themes. Idk how else to describe this one other than ya know when you get really mad at your past self for making a mistake or the wrong decision that you could’ve only known about in hindsight? Also in part the fear of actually becoming a vampire at the end of all of this? And I guess a bit of feeling like it’s your own fault, you’re the one that keeps shooting yourself in the foot, but I feel like he’d also attribute getting hit by Dracula in the first place as his fault too… hmm just a lot of very sad things going on, this one was definitely a later 1 am time drawing, maybe 1:40 or something. I think what I draw at night is further proof to not trust you when you’re tired; I get weirdly existential at night and then it’s totally fine in the morning. Simon! Just sleep! Stop overthinking!!! You’ll be ok!!!

This one I debated putting up at all cause it’s graphic and not finished (TwT ;). But it was a rare drawing of Simon smiling that didn’t look uncanny, which is kinda ironic because Simon this is not the time to be smiling—! That is also wayyy too far for just the Dracula ritual, you really only need a tiny amount to open the seal, but I’ll cut him some slack cause he is a bit at wits end by this point. I’d say maybe he’s smiling because he thinks he finally won, but tbh I thought of it more like when things are just so bad you start laughing. Like Dracula just rose from the altar and the morbid irony of it all is just so absurd, the irony that you did everything right and fought tooth and nail (Dracula’s to be exact lol) to stop it and here it is happening anyway. I wanna give this guy a weighted blanket and a bowl of warm soup—

These last two are based on what could’ve happened to him. The Grey ending is pretty much usually considered the “worst”, but they’re all nearly interchangeable, especially in the Japanese version. For example: the western release really makes the Blue ending seem like he died and didn’t kill Dracula, but it’s a lot more that he just died doing it in the original, which is to say that it’s kinda like the Grey ending just with a different eulogy— Anyway, the Grey ending is the only one that doesn’t show Simon at Dracula’s grave, so I’ve always taken it as he didn’t make it out of the castle basement. And well, setting Dracula on fire is a pretty common way to kill him so uh um, R.I.P. I’ve got a couple ideas for alternate comic endings to say the least. I might honestly just depict all of them and leave it entirely up to the reader which one happened because it doesn’t change much— Though this also has me thinking of how him surviving would work now. The curse would definitely have left some lasting effects, you don’t just magically stop having been rotted, sleep deprived, and whatever else it did. Idk I picture him being like Renfield levels of lost it afterwards if that makes sense… that could also be a pretty solid explanation for why his story isn’t told correctly and the cycle repeats with Maxim later; it’d be a pretty traumatic thing to talk about tbh. Ok but yappersvile over, next doodle 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Aside from the burnt doodle that’s uh same explanation as the above (R.I.P.), the other two are just a little head angle and expression practice and one tiny one towards the top that’s Dracula being all spooky ghost vampire, but I didn’t like how it was looking and gave up on it 💀💀💀. It’s very hard to draw a vampire attacking someone and not have it look kinda awkward or unreadable. Tbh I struggle putting two characters in one image anyway because I have to draw the anatomy lines for both of them and they end up getting really hard to tell apart when one is behind another, one character suddenly isn’t proportional compared to the other, or you find out one of them isn’t tall enough for the pose you had in mind (>~< ). So anyway Dracula was accidentally way too short all of a sudden and I couldn’t figure out how to draw his torso without making a completely incomprehensible blob behind Simon oof.

Okie, it’s lunch time, bye :3!

[chokehoe]

Very tired and I’ve heard that the art community over here is very cool and chill so have some gojo’s that I did a while ago for a challenge on twitter I have yet to finish. Tell me which one y’all like better because I can’t decide for the fucking life of me and it’s killing me. I feel like the one on the right is too bright but the line art on the left is so grainy ugh. Idk I’ve been struggling to draw lately & it’s been a real pain in my ass. Like I enjoy doing it but my brain or hands just feel dead and heavy when I try to go and do it. Also nothing turns out the way I want it to I feel like. It feels like an up hill battle sometimes anyways sorry for the vent I just know my posts don’t get a lot of traction on here so I felt comfortable doing so whoops. Anyways have an amazing day/night to who ever sees this!! Thanks for checking it out lol!

[draconixiaa]

tired but i'll do a bit of this (will be a bit rambly:D)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

24,, wow not bad

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

165.5k wow thats a lot,, most of it comes from one tho; everything else are shortfics

3. What fandoms do you write for?

DSMP and ive just started a bit of genshin at the behest of my Tartaglia-obsessed irl and he's kinda cool but like for 95% of my other fics its all cdream ahahahhh(dies)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

"Consequences" tops the charts obviously bc its my one and only longfic and it was written during the peak of dsmp and man id link it bc i love my storyline (cdream obviously gets messed up in prison but then gets a healing arc) there but at the same time i feel like the writing had too many grammar mistakes and could be better so nahh

"North Star to Freedom" is one im actually really proud of, like obviously the writing could be better bc ive improved, but i just like it and id deffo rewrite it too if i had time or steal it into an original fic (premise is that cdream escapes prison with the rebibe book and oh lord my lingo anyways (spoilers) he dies and he gives techno book)

"Persevere" is third, wow that's a long time ago, its alright, i like it in general, but it feels almost cheesy. idk. i like it, but i dont like it. its not mixed feelings, but eh. anyways, something about cdream getting captured by the egg which is about to take over the world but he sacrifices himself to cleanse it. the most acute thing i rember about it is that its a 3parter

"Coup de Grace" ok wth i didnt expect this to be on there it was a small little cdream suffering in prison and cphil comes over, sees him in pain, and cough relieves him of it, and i dont like the writing in a specific part of it, but i like it in some other parts, so eh

"turn the claret tides" whoops i forgot what this one was about ok i glanced through the doc its ctechno getting cdream out of prison wow that title was really vague but he gets the letter and things went on.. it was inspired by another fic and happened during the hype of the prison arc which is kinda cool

(man im looking at the amount of fics i want to rewrite but it aint happening sadge)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Sometimes, most of the times nowadays, if it particularly made my day or it has something deep and insightful or literally makes any observation on my fic. sometimes im just too tired to answer,, maybe laziness is a part of it too, but i stare and its like,, i cant generate a response . but nowadays, i do it most of the times bc i appreciate my commenters :D

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

my recent fics mostly have happy endings, but all my pre-like, mid 2023 fics were all sad sad sad. they all ended in cdream dying, one way or the other. so idk which ones the saddest now its been too long,, the one i personally think is the saddest is one that i like, was listening to sad music to, the song being 'sociopath,' an orchestral piece (or was it piano?)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

consequences

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

once on consequences bc that was max cdream apologists vs inniters era

9. Do you write smut?

nop never ever ever

10. Do you write crossovers?

dream + tartaglia is one i wrote in fudging october that i am still trying to find time to continue

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

prob not, if there is, then i wouldnt know of it

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope, if there was, i also dont know of it

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

wow thats crazy that i havent, but idk, teamwork and coordination just go meh when i only share my interests with online people

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

idk i dont do ships but my fav friendship is dream + techno or dream + punz

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

all my chapter continuations except the tartaglia + dream one i Need to finish that. but also the palace of stone idea will Never Ever get written

16. What’s your writing strengths?

descriptions idk they go lengthy but ive practiced with them a lot so ive gotten kinda good

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

dialogue, pacing, idk literally everything, i can prob improve on anything and every aspect of my writing rn, and i just need to practice more

19. First fandom you wrote for?

DSMP lmao

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

consequences i love the storyline + ending of that one even if the writing couldve been better

uhh tagging? idk if theres anyone that doesnt overlap wiht people whove been tagged b4 les see: @milktearosethorn , @victoriacoffee , ,, oh theres only two ok well, have fun if u decide to do this!

[witchhazelevesque]

More Spider-Man!Leo HC's

@sugar-r-rush whoop I had a bit of writer's block on this but here's some more thoughts!

Okay SO

Lemme start with this Hestia idea

I love her and I've always thought she'd love Esperanza. I just thought of her having a place for demigods while I was typing that lol. But actually, that would make a lot of sense, because Hestia's always done what she thinks is right by her family even if others didn't understand her choices.

Plus, I think she'd play dumb if Zeus ever caught her, but like, she's got the mindset of 'pssh, what's my little brother going to do about it?"

Breaking the rules for her niblings :)

Anyway, she probably has multiple of these types of homes around the world, and she doesn't spend too much time there because she doesn't want to risk the other gods finding out about them. They're kind of like the Way Station and the Chase Base (side note, she also loves Magnus and Alex, it transcends pantheons), but normal houses.

So some kids stay long term, some just use it as a rest stop, it's all good. It's a nice little community where they're all demigods, but it's not about training and serving like the camps.

It's mostly a normal life, which is something Leo wants after the Gaea.

Well, somewhat normal.

IDK, maybe Piper joins him because she's also done with the demigod game and she loves her dad, but she doesn't feel that California is her home.

Something I've wondered about for a while is whether Leo ever got to visit his mom's grave. Did he get to go to her funeral? What was the situation immediately after the fire?

Either way, he hasn't been in years, if ever, and that's the catalyst for him returning to Houston. It's a clear, definable, concrete goal, which is anchoring him to reality since he's still getting over you know, dying. And even before that, he'd never had a moment to just. exist.

It terrifies him.

Piper does come with him at least for the beginning, and that is indescribably comforting.

Leo's tired, is the thing.

He's tired of the gods dictating his life, of needing their approval and their mercy.

But most of all, he's tired of running.

So he's not going to do it anymore.

And he goes back to the first place he ever ran from.

He doesn't bother with his biological family. He's long since learned what real family is.

He's got his real family with him when he sets the bouquet of sunflowers on Esperanza's grave.

Piper booked them a hotel, but when they're turning to leave, they spot a small figure at the end of the pathway.

Leo's demigod instincts tell him that this is not a mortal, but that they're also not in danger.

Hestia appears as an older woman instead of her usual child-like appearance, just to achieve that aunt look.

Leo's wary, though he doesn't think she's ever contributed to any of the problems he or his friends have had.

When he looks into her eyes, he's washed with this understanding of her approach to fire. It's nothing like what he's experienced. Hers is warm and comforting and protective.

But showing him that isn't what she's actually here for.

Leo wasn't expecting what she actually came for.

When she passes him the bundle of fabric, he stares down at it blankly.

The navy and gray wool and leather feels warm against his hands, and Leo remembers his mother wearing this, in pictures from photo albums of her youth, sometimes when she'd take him to the park on the rare days when it was cold enough for a jacket and nice enough to be outside.

He remembers her picking him up and holding him against her chest, remembers the slightly scratchy material of the wool, the smooth, cool leather, how it smelled of their laundry detergent and his mom's shampoo.

He lifts the garment to his nose and somehow, after all these years, it still smells exactly the same.

He doesn't even mind that he's crying, the sort where the tears well and flow seamlessly.

He's in a bit of a daze as Hestia asks them to join her for dinner. Piper puts a hand on his shoulder to get his thoughts, and he nods, because she just reunited him with a piece of his past that he never thought he'd see again.

The thought of wearing the jacket hadn't crossed his mind, so when Piper asks if she can help him into it, he takes a minute to process the question.

But he nods again, and when the weight of the jacket settles over his shoulders, he feels a comfort that he hasn't since the last time his mom smiled at him.

Leo can't remember the last time he had a home cooked meal that he didn't have to make himself.

It's odd.

It's… making him feel some kind of way.

The house Hestia brought them too is warm, in color, in atmosphere, in the way it’s lived in.

They both realize that other people must live here too, but no one else comes out, and Leo's relieved.

Eventually, Hestia brings up a topic Leo wasn't really expecting.

His mother's will was… a complicated matter, to put it lightly. She had started making more money than she expected in her career at the end, more than she had ever before, and the whole… spider situation could have changed the game in a ridiculous way, but the research was lost in the fire. Her assets were willed to Leo, but the rest of the family contested that, and with his age, the circumstances surrounding the fire, the accusations throw around, the company's shady business practices- well.

If Leo had had the choice, he would have picked having his mom back, and the money brought out the worst of his extended family. That he could at least understand, even if it disgusted him, but Rosa seemed bent on ruining any chance he had to stay with anyone he knew. Now that he's older, he can see she did it because she was grieving her sister, but Leo's not going to forgive her.

As the situation stands now, a large portion of his mother's assets were eaten up by legal fees, her contract with her company is a legal gray area and they took advantage of that to keep her research and inventions for themselves (maybe this could be part of a plot idk). "I'm glad to be made aware of this," Leo says, and he thinks he means it, this is all a lot to process. "But why were you involved?"

Hestia smiles sadly. "Money was always a violate aspect of the home," she says. "My sister had a hand in shaping your future, but she did not consider this matter. I believed it fell in my jurisdiction. I managed to save what was irreplaceable-"

Here she gestures to the letterman that Leo still hasn't taken off.

"-along with some other belongings of yours and hers. There is also a small amount of funds left that I have managed to retain for you. It is not much, but it will help you establish yourself should you choose to take that path."

Leo's familiar with the talk of paths and senses that there's more to discuss her. "As opposed to which other path?"

Hestia smiles, her warm eyes flickering.

She explains this house, how it performs the roles of the camps but doesn't focus on training but providing a safe place for demigods. "Not all are fighters," she says, and smiles almost wryly.

She gives them a tour of the place and it's... normal. It doesn't raise any of their alarm bells, which is such a nice change of pace.

The Valdez's were a special case for Hestia. Esperanza always understood what truly made a home. Hestia took notice of her even before Hephaestus did, and when Esperanza had Leo and they had their little family and home, it was a true beacon of everything Hestia valued.

So, it was particularly heartbreaking to watch it all fall apart. Esperanza lost her life, Leo lost what truly mattered, but the goddess couldn't let everything waste away.

Leo decides to stay, at least for a while, and he spends his days trying to unlearn his bad habits of pushing away his feelings. Hestia recommends a therapist who knows about the mythical world, and that starts to help Leo process his years of trauma.

I'm not sure where it could go from here, maybe he takes it slow but gets drawn into a different world of heroes, maybe it's a big plot or maybe he just wants to do good in small ways for his community.

[krutomu]

So the person I’ve been getting to know better like rarely ever messages me (which is a funny thing because nobody ever messages me first. I’m always the one sending messages I get so excited when I get one)

and it’s giving my ex boyfriend who never ever texted me unless I texted him, or unless he wanted to type out an essay on his oc world

(which would have been fine if A) I cared or B) he would interact with me outside of that context) (we were also long distance! So the only way to talk was texting or calling annd he never did either. AND anlways got mad at me when I wanted to talk more or act like we were an actual couple)

and it’s kind of getting to me! One of the reasons it was so freeing to break up with him was that I didn’t have to keep conversations going 24/7 only to be like. Made fun of??

and idk. It’s just putting a very very very bad taste in my mouth because this person acts the same sort of (they actually have messaged me on their own but I’m afraid it will end) and I don’t want to get in another relationship like that

also I literally become a horrible person when shit like this happens. I transform. Like imagine me if I was evil and really suicidal. I wonder if I’m even equipped mentally to be in a relationship sometimes tbh

anyways the whole “getting to know eachother” thing was good for like a few days and now it’s like maybe one more than a few days in and my shit brain is getting scared and wants to back out. And whoop dee doo I want this person to comfort me but like

is it weird?? to ask someone if they don’t like you anymore because they acted tired for one day. Yes. Would it make me happy? Yes.

[spooky-momth]

I'm probably gonna be a bit of a hypocrite for saying this and I never want to rain on anyone's parade but I think. For me, it's less the shipping focus but more so the fact that friendships never get any focus, or like the non-romantic parts of a relationship

Like I'm a big Polyhatz and Fireskulls fan but first and foremost I love their dynamics with each other, how they bounce off each other and the care they clearly have for each other as friends -- that's what makes the ships so good!! They have that bond before and then when the actual crushes and romantic affection happen it feels so natural

I'm a sucker for slow burn. I want to see the steps between the first meeting and the first kiss, dammit, don't just show me the romance!!!

Also just- this is kinda related but in a different way. I will never forgive SM AO3 for putting both Kevin/Streber and fucking Bob x Reader above Skid & Pump in fic count. I swear like half of the SM AO3 tag is smut fics and it is SO frustrating that this world and it's characters are so cool and interesting to explore yet all anyone wants to write about is the same few characters boning. I've grown numb to it at this point but it's also why I rave so highly about fics like Roy Against Society or Not So Bad After All, because they're actual character and in RAS' case, plot focused fics!!

(disclaimer: I am not dissing Candybats or the Bob selfshippers. I find Kevin/Streber to be a fun ship under the right circumstances and people wanted to smooch the cannibal so bad they made a full-ass game for it, I am in no place to diss them)

I just. Idk. Does this make any sense?? I'm tired as hell I don't know if what I'm saying makes any sense but I'm going to drop it in your inbox Anyway because I have Thoughts about this. Maybe I'll send another ask when I'm not so tired, idk

HI sorry this has just been sitting in my inbox for DAYS hgshfgj. you know how it is with college, and then The Other Horrors, Also.

disclaimer for anyone else: sometimes we just wanna complain about things. this isn't an indictment of your fandom experience, go have fun and live your life, we're not your moms, etc etc.

all of that out of the way- YEAH. true. (my reply also gets long, so to spare your dash I put a cut here.)

I don't think it's 'hypocritical' to have a nuanced take on something, really. You can like things in multiple ways and it's no betrayal of yourself to be like that!

I've always been fascinated with romance as a concept (especially as an aromantic; it always seemed like some kind of fantasy thing, like magic, to me.) but as time's gone on I've found myself more interested in what a romance can bring to the table than the romance itself.

Like, for example- Part of the reason I've been putting off Candlelight for so long is that I… still need to figure out the finer details on WHY Carmen and Lila actually get together, despite that being the "central premise" of the AU. Whoops!

I've got a lot of stuff planned out for how Roy & Skid adapt to it, what their feelings are about their new moms, about each other- But the leading romance has NOTHING LMAO.

and… fair. I get it as someone who's been on both sides of that battle in the Deltarune fandom. I was both the rabid reader looking for x Readers and the exhausted reader filtering everything that wasn't a Gen fic out so I could find something I actually wanted to see.

It can be frustrating to find so many threads that canon leaves for you to pull on, but look around and have it feel like no one else is interested in it.

(Also, I need to check both those fics out soon, thanks for reminding me, hehe.)

Romance is an interesting lens to view the show from, yes, but it's also not the ONLY lens and it can be tiring when that seems to be the majority of what people write.

[impprtante]

Backstory; The Save File

So, I've been playing this save since I've been in middle school (currently in college) on and off again because my interest comes and goes. So since middle school. Originally, had gotten sims and didn't know what to do, and before as a kiddo i watched videos where people design the disney princess and make them do things, there was a certain series but anyways, it facinated me and i thought it would be fun.

(i first tried cc but i kinda get annoyed that things break so i just gave up after like 2 generations.) Anyways, so I make a sim, get a challenge pulled up, first one i find, try and give up on reading the rules for a legacy challenge, and start.

Immidiated i didn't read the first one because i thought adultery was fun as a middle schooler (haha so edgy) and didn't read that technically you're supposed to have Snow White have 7 children with ONE dude. So. Oops. This is exactly when i decided to be like, screw it these are more of a guideline for my game play anyways. This is where i see that the princesses aren't in order of movie release and go "nop i don't care about the storyline they gave me, its going in order >>:("

So a few years go by, i b doin my best, on and off again, and i think aroundddddddd..... Gen 7 Jasmine that my sister (love her <3) got me an in to get all the sims packs (im on sims 4, idk if that needed clarification). Side note: we used to share an account but when sims went free i made an account and transfered my files over (she played less sims than i did at that point but then i got her back hooked whoops). but anyway, SUDDENTLY THERES SO MUCH TO DO AND EXPLORE.

There's so much more cas, theres so many different worlds, buildings, aspects, etc. And suddenly, im actually really sad that my sims of the past didn't get the full experience like that.

BUT, luckily, i had gotten really attached to all my sims early (gen 01 lol) so i had most of the sims backed up on my gallery. In fact, i was so attached to them that i had a lot of different versions of them saved. So i just put them into a seperate world where they could be immortal and live their best lives <3

so there i am, very content to have my two save files. one with the real progression, and one that i've been calling my dollhouse; they're in my toy box, when i feel like playing with them i pop on by and then let them be the rest of the time. But uh, i got a little too invested. and then i realized i had, well. regrets.

I'll make a little seperate post about that later.

but well, i had been writing down quirks and taking pictures of my sims for so long, i have a google drive with just a lot of musing and notes and uploading pictures. I really wanted to write a story based on them, this huge family, because well. I really love them. They're my babies. But i've literally never written anything before. I was a then aspiring writer, stuck writing notes and facts lol. nothing else.

i also had pictures on a drive because i wanted easier access to their appearences, because i wanted to try drawing them out so i could have the scenarios from my head somewhere. I think i was inspired to art because my sister is an artist (she's so good at it) so i wanted to try to draw my dear characters but i literally stopped at Eira lmao (Snow White) i could not do character design. I'll post the drawings sometime, theyre scatted places where i doodled. And i was playing sims on this old computer i didn't feel secure on, in my childhood bedroom so :p, i was in school most days and using my laptop so i tried google drive.

BUT IM TIRED OF JUST HAVING NO ONE TO RAMBLE TO so here we are.

so recently (this summer) i made a NEW world to start inserting them with all the new additions. The primary reason for this was because even though i loved them..... they weren't really characters. They didn't have relationships to them, just my imaged ones. I've a really bad mindset of grinding in the sims instead of being social, so they were actually sorely lacking in personality. Base Game sims 4 didn't help matters. So even though i was picuring and writing, i never got to actually see them interact as childhood besties. They didn't have any random friendships. I barely threw any official birthday parties. So, i wanted to kinda turn back the clock and figure things out.

So, recap: i have a save where i play the "challenge". an old save where i store them, and a new save where im passing them over slowly and storing them.

But now i feel like i have too many thoughts about them to keep to myself so here we are, typing :p. I would keep typing in the google docs but honestly, those were more cynical notes for myself, like disecting a species. I thought a blog would be a good place for like, more informal posts. so, yeah :)

[zoekrystall]

Added more in my pinned post and accidentally talked too much in the tags to hit the limit whoops. Added that txt yesterday bc I saw people primarily (some only) sharing donation links. Can you tell when I wrote stuff was I just ever so slightly irritated by all the emotions talk. Which yknow I get feeling angry and whatnot but I am specifically talking abt the stuff w "how can you not feel _". Idk if I already talked abt it or deleted it before hitting post some other time I think I did. Also was irritated by all the people yelling at people for being triggered like if you don't know the difference between discomfort and triggered do I not want you near me. That difference is very significant.

Idk man I am just tired of people equating empathy w humanity the most. I'm really glad I hardened up more bc I just think abt 2020 where I think I got first truly radicalized or/and learned a fuck ton but also all that guilt tripping and all made the already bad mental health further nosedive and that is just not sustainable neither for the cause or us. Like yes sharing and all actions that do help are important but it's also important to step away and do anything else to not burn out in like a day or two. Luckily the people that get followed got shaken up a bit and dash and rbs get focused more on positivity in general since then and that def helped long term (was gen "would _ rb that" "would _ scold if I would rb that" until it became a no brainer when my lifeline wasn't there. not the time to gush but fuck do I think I would still be in the same mud without him). Still not the best but better than then so sharing is easier on the mental health.

I feel. So weird for not being able to feel empathy for others but def feel it when others irritate me. Yeah I feel bad when I don't feel anything but what does it bring to force myself to feel something. I already knew in 2020 that the trying to force myself was empty I only felt like I have to try to feel awful bc of all the guilt tripping. It's hard to explain how it feels I think it's such a strange feeling. Anyways I'm at least aware enough to know if I get irritated around this I shouldn't constantly be vocal abt it bc it really does not matter in the grand scheme of things this is the only post and if further will I just on private bc no-one needs to see that but sometimes venting is needed.

I'm only really talking abt that bc reg the trigger stuff like ffs people still need to be able to function and there are things to do without getting triggered if the heavy topics are what do it. Also the people that want to help through sharing those can look at that if they know what they'll see and can get prepared first. I got ptsd doesn't mean I never ever look at any triggering stuff ever again I just need to be in the headspace and a heads up would always be very good. Really wish twt would do it like here w not completely not showing the tweet (minus in replies where you can click to show) if it has smth muted but saying "yo this post got this muted thing ya wanna see it". Like. People getting triggered are absolutely not the same people bitching bc they're just uncomfortable. The latter are the bad ones I do agree but know the fucking difference. Feeling uncomfortable just living happens like daily for the most standard reason so feeling that abt a horrendous situation should be a given. You however shouldn't get triggered daily. Also yes we can admire the people there but not everyone is as strong you shouldn't guilt them into dealing w more than they can. I'm gen (starting to consider, already did a few though) immediately blocking everyone posting that stuff esp the aggressive ones. I do not care if you have x or y not everyone experiences things the exact same way. I am being so good abt holding back insults.

And reg the emotions thing like people learn not everyone feels empathy and that it doesn't make people anything bad and that actions count challenge. Not everyone w aspd for example is automatically a evil person. What matters is if they talk abt things and if they genuinely stand behind them. Idk if I speak for most or if just past self but writing in all caps "how can you not feel bad/sad/angry/etc at seeing [atrocity, usually as video attached]" will make people not magically care if they didn't prior it'll just irritate them and scroll away. Factual information is what can make people turn around more (like, literally just share without that commentary for example). So many "both sides bad" focus on emotions afaik. Compassion, empathy, etc for both. There are people that see and feel bad abt what happens to them but still say both sides bad.

I'm tired I'll likely sleep now but yeah I just. Wanted to write abt it and get it out ig. Rb disabled and I won't bad faith argument idc if any of this sounded privileged to you. I can prob write all this way more eloquent but man idc this isn't a post that is supposed to spread and I wrote this while being sleepy. I also think there is, for individual people that aren't big names, some nuance reg having to talk abt something and being allowed to not engage in every important topic but 1 that is too complex to just kinda ramble about 2 this current event is less nuanced reg that I def think try to share as much as you can even if just occasionally. I think I only don't like it bc not saying anything online doesn't equal not doing anything. Someone could go to every protest they can and write and call but just not using their socials bc that takes their energy enough or smth. And some have multiple accs and only focus spreading it on their main (and/or w the biggest following, which should be used). I think that is what specifically gets me. But yeah didn't think abt it enough to form enough abt it and also maybe talking more abt it when this is over bc how I said it is less complicated rn. And. Yknow. When I am not tired as hell.

[starb3rry]

pushing into the darkness

process under cut 👍

[shaolin-spin-doctor]

I changed my mkx's language to English for the lolz and realized the people who made the Latin American Spanish dub went off with the revenants' voice filters. Like, in the og English version the filter is There, but it's more of an echo effect with slight distortion; in Spanish the distortion is WAY more noticeable, so much so that it actually overshadows the character's actual voice sometimes, especially when they're speaking softly.

I might be biased here but I actually like it better ngl

[astheroid]

[11:23 PM]

- baji comes home drunk [kind of angst/fluff? idk but all the internal shit gets resolved].

a/n - wow this turned out a lot longer than i thought it would be 😭 i was seriously debating between keeping the end part or chopping it off,, i kept it, so i hope it’s somewhat good

“And I was just getting a few drin-“

“You promised you wouldn’t get this drunk again.” You chide, pressing a damp washcloth to his forehead. Baji frowns.

“Mm. Sorry babe.” His eyes seem unfocused, glancing at everything and nothing all at the same time. The weight of his drunken stupor lays heavily in his movements, and as he lifts his hand up to cup your cheek, he presses a bit too hard.

Your head dips from the pressure and ends up an inch from his face. You can’t tell if he did it on purpose or not- the dazed grin on his face reveals nothing about his intentions.

“Whoops. My bad.” He murmurs, his thumb grazing your nose.

You hate seeing him drunk. It’s not that you’re trying to be overprotective, and to be honest, you don’t really mind taking care of him. It’s his eyes that make you want to hide the fancy wine in a place he’ll never look. They seem sad, broken even. When he looks at you with those eyes, your stomach churns. They carry the weight of the world in them.

He tries to keep it lighthearted, ever the actor. You can see it though. Drunk words are sober thoughts, and sometimes he lets it slip.

“I’m sorry. Real sorry. For… yeah. Everything.”

“Never shoulda-“ he hiccups, “made you sad.”

“You’d be better off away from me.”

“‘M dangerous, honey. Not the good kind.”

“Should just run away.”

“I don’t regret it. Just wish you weren’t there to see.”

Your heart squeezes when he looks so lost, so utterly shattered. You want to pick up his pieces and glue them together with forehead kisses and gentle hugs, but there’s a part of you that knows you can’t.

You can’t because he tosses and turns in bed, nightmares of worry and anger plaguing his mind. You can’t because he holds your hand a little tighter when you pass your local car park. You can’t because his smile never quite reaches his eyes when he cracks jokes about the scar on his abdomen.

You can’t, but you can try. You place a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. “Get some sleep, Kei. I can yell at you in the morning.”

He nods and you pull your blankets up to his chin. You smile a wobbly smile, glad he’s finally tired.

You click off the lamp and slip into bed beside him. You can feel a lump in your throat and an ache in your heart, but you wrap your arms around your love’s sleeping form and close your eyes.

The tears come minutes later. You keep your hand pressed to your mouth to diminish the gasping sobs, but a few escape anyways. You feel terrible.

Kei will never have the experience of a normal life. Not after Toman. What you don’t know, though, is how much you mean to him. You’re the one that makes his eyes crinkle. You make him laugh so hard the constant ache in his stomach fades away. For a little while, at least. He hopes you can see how damn happy you make him.

He’s changed a lot since his days as a gang member. He’s wild and unruly, of course- but he has a life. Something he needs to come home to every day. He carries his trauma like a medal, and he may never recover completely, but every little moment with you makes his burden lighter. He’s honestly scared of letting you see the dangerous side of him, the side that makes you stumble backwards. Sometimes, and only sometimes, you see it peeking through his fixed-up exterior. He doesn’t know if it’ll ever stop rearing its ugly head.

But for you, he’ll always try.

Your crying has quieted now, and you’re pressing your face into his t-shirt. It smells like him with a little bit of booze. As you breathe in his scent, sleep begins to come to you easier than you thought it would; you hope your eyes aren’t crusted shut in the morning.

You sleep, and he sleeps, and somehow you know it’ll all be ok tomorrow.

Reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

[freezethebeez]

Did you base the catalyst vampires off of other vampires in the media? Or, whats some catalyst universe specific vampire “quirks” or design choices? Lol sorry, got brain rot

the vampires in catalyst aren't really based off of any particular piece of media. they're sort of a strange amalgamation of every vampire au i've ever read, any tv shows or movies (aka twilight and first kill), plus my own little quirky details for the sake of plot.

any of the details i'm going to list below are catalyst specific according to me, but if anyone else has ever done them that's cool, i just didn't know.

vampires can go 2 years without drinking a drop of blood before they die of starvation, similar to how humans can go 2 weeks without food, just elongated to match a vampire's lifespan

most vampires feed once every month, which is less than twilight (i think) and most other vampire au's i've read, although i don't think many of them had specific hunger schedules. oh yeah it's also less than in the sims 4, if the vampire pack counts as vampire media lol

vampires aren't immortal. i gave them an age limit of 1000 because immortality is overrated anyway plus death is kinda nice sometimes. gives you a time limit. idk there was vsauce video about it that i watched once and haven't really stopped thinking about.

humans cannot be turned into vampires. if i were to implement that, though, the turning process would be drain all human blood, replace with a bit of vampire blood, yipee ur dead but also not, which just wasn't conventional and wouldn't be used in plot so i threw that whole concept out the window

vampires sleep during the day and wake up when the sun sets. i've read this in another vampire au, but am including it in this list anyway because twilight went "yeah vampires can chill during the day." however, if catalyst vampires could go out in the sun, i think all the sun would do is drain their energy and make them tired lol

for the first 40 years of a full vampire's life (20 for half-vamps), they can't fully see. i have another ask somewhere on here explaining how the process works, as well as other details.

fangs showing up only when needed isn't super original i don't think, but the whole warming of the skin when hungry thing is just a catalyst thing, i'm pretty sure.

also, like, vampires with eating disorders. i've never seen that anywhere else lol.

vampires being able to give birth (technically, minus all the issues that come with it) is also a catalyst thing i think??? idk i've only seen the first twilight movie so if vampire birth is in there.... whoops

vampires being entirely dead pretty much. no working organs, breathing isn't necessary, can't eat human food (unless the specific food holds essentially zero nutritional value), are also things i haven't seen in au's or media

vampires are just straight up a completely different species; they're not a subspecies of human. now, this would be a little weird for vampire-human... uh... breeding (i'm so sorry) but since vampires look so much like humans it's not really a big deal i guess

long story short i pretty much just went "what if we had humans and gave them fangs and a really long lifespan and then we gave one of them a shit ton of mental illness" and ran with that.

as for design choices, they're very similar to the typical vampire: pale skin, human-looking, fangs sometimes. eye colour doesn't really change if they're hungry, their pupils just get a little wider. skin tones can range from white as white can be to a dark grey, and eye colour can be anything, it just depends on the vampire and their genes, however the fuck genes work (i didn't take biology lol)

i've been meaning to write all this vampire lore out for a while, so i may be missing a few things in my list. catalyst (just like syzygy, another c!beeduo au of mine) was supposed to be a 2k one shot containing a silly little idea i had. instead, it bursted into this big, multi-chapter story, which isn't something i do often, so little things like specific details about the setting and all that other stuff aren't really thought out, because initially they really didn't need to be and i was too busy working out the plot to go back over and add those things. i'm a bit of a mess when it comes to writing longer pieces tbh.

now while catalyst may be my magnum opus, i am still– at my very core– just a silly little guy writing about minecraft men.

all the love and support has been insane, though, and i have appreciated it more than anything. it's the thing that keeps me going honestly. all the asks have helped me develop the world just a little bit more, and the insight i've been able to get, like how well my foreshadowing worked and how suspenseful i made each chapter, has helped tons as well.

the mere concept of people actively perceiving the things i put out onto the internet is crazy enough to me, so to have people thinking about my silly little fic and brainrotting about it makes me feel a little less silly (dw anon, i am also heavily brainrotting).

ty for the ask, and sorry for the essay of a response. the only vampire media i've consumed is twilight, first kill, and about 2 or 3 other fics, all from different fandoms (i'm not a big media consumer tbh), but i hope this suffices :]

[poetrusicperry]

the poets go to ikea for the first time !!!

sooo this morning i made a list of things i have to take back to college with me and i always pack my stuff in these big, blue ikea bags which got me thinking about what the poets would be like in ikea bc i genuinely cannot do anything anymore without thinking about how the poets would do it HAHA. so here we are lol– i hope you guys like this !!(:

neil: something tells me that neil would really enjoy ikea. there are so many tiny little relics and fun decorations to browse as well as models/displays that are so nicely put together. just the right kinds of things to appease neil’s hidden juvenile wants (since he never got to experience a real childhood with his parents treating him like an adult since he was like 8). for example: all of the neat little stuffed animals and children’s bedroom sets that have all sorts of fun colors, etc. neil would appreciate the whole aesthetic of the store as well, liking how well-organized and modern it is inside. would definitely hide behind pieces of furniture in the displays to scare todd. also he is in charge of pushing the cart (that charlie is proudly sitting in bc he doesn’t want to “walk around everywhere”).

todd: like neil, todd appreciates the feel of the place bc he’s always had a bit of an interest in interior design, but is a little bit overwhelmed with just how big it is both outside and inside. desperately wants a djungelskog bear (which neil buys for him, bc of all the things neil struggles with, saying “no” to todd is certainly the biggest one). genuinely freaks out every single time neil scares him, even if he should see it coming after the second or third time. trails behind the group, (as he seemingly always does), taking special note of certain things he’d like to have in his own house one day (’:

knox: upon being invited, he seemed hesitant bc it’s just a furniture store, big whoop (”will there be girls there at least?”), but once they got there he was incredibly thrilled that there was a cafeteria and insisted that they go there both before shopping and after shopping (”look at how big the store is, don’t you think we’ll be hungry again by the time we’re done?”). definitely would rather be doing something else, but is just happy to be spending time around his pals (:

charlie: as previously stated, king of the cart. refuses to get out and walk because it’s “a big store and he’s tired.” neil doesn't mind pushing him, though. fully embraces the semi-chaotic feel of ikea during the weekend (so many people, which is not good for todd, but charlie full-on thrives). he would also insist on actually buying a few pieces of new furniture for his and cameron’s room (completely oblivious to the fact that he will actually need to assemble the pieces himself until they get down to the warehouse), even though it would most definitely be confiscated by mr. hager (”they’ll only confiscate it if they find it,” charlie says, to which cameron replies, “i’m pretty sure a full size vanity and bureau would be pretty easy to scope out, dumbass.” then they both flip each other off). he is definitely the reason knox decided to come after charlie begged him for at least ten minutes (”c’mon, knoxious, it’ll be fun! even if there aren’t girls there, you’ll still have me to look at (;”). offers to buy neil a couple of the stuffed animals he’s been eyeing bc he just wants to see his best friend happy. has to go back up and around the store to take note of numbers of the furniture he actually wants bc he didn’t understand how it worked (”all that time in the cart, wasted” and ”they should really have like an instruction manual before entering the store??”). and enlists meek’s help trying to find the right boxes of parts because “he’s smart like that”. still stays squished in the cart even when he puts all the boxes in it

meeks: just along for the ride, honestly. he just likes spending time with his buddies, but isn’t hesitant about going out and doing things like knox (“i’ll try anything once!”). gets into a pillow fight with pitts in one of the displays, garnering the attention of an ikea employee who sternly asks them to “act their age” and to “fix all the things they made fall on the ground”. the most adventurous eater at the cafeteria; tries the swedish meatballs and really likes them (”we have to come back here just to eat these again, guys”). rates each display on a scale of 1-10 and gives reasons for why he likes things and why he doesn’t (mostly in a joking way).

pitts: bumps his head on some of the hanging arrow signs that direct you into the next section of the store, sighs after every time. buys matching stuffed animals with meeks (’: is the designated driver, and never asks for gas money from his friends bc like knox and meeks, he just likes hanging out (but they give him gas money anyway !!). asks neil for a turn pushing the cart, which neil agrees to. when in control of the cart, bumps it into things, much to charlie’s displeasure (”wouldn’t peg you as a horrible cart driver since you’re the only one with your license, but alas, i was wrong”). feels v bad for getting in trouble w meeks about the pillow fighting and makes sure to fix any messed up things in any of the displays following the incident. also unsure of how much space is in the car for charlie’s boxes, leading him to argue against the purchase of any items.

cameron: also didn’t get the allure of a furniture store, but tagged along because he wanted to get off campus (and really does care about making time and hanging out with his friends, though he’d never admit that). pickiest when it came to the food court/cafeteria (”i just don’t want to try it, why do i need a reason ??”). actually considered buying a new desk organizer, but refused when charlie said it would look great on their new vanity (”charlie, they’ll confiscate that, too. how many times do i have to explain it ??”). unlike meeks, seriously rates each display on a scale of 1-10 talking about how some of the colors just don’t go, and it hurts his eyes to look at it. lowkey got lost for a bit and freaked out bc he couldn’t find anyone, but caught up with todd finally when they were exiting the kitchenette section. this caused him to ask what todd was doing all the way back behind the group, leading to a small, but nice conversation they had (”just making some notes about things i like for later on” todd had said. “that’s really cool, todd,” cameron smiled back at him, unknowing that todd was most certainly picking out things that not only he would like, but neil, too). finally caved and helped charlie build the new furniture when they got back because as much as he couldn't stand charlie sometimes, it made for an incredibly interesting bonding session. 

anyway, that’s all. i feel like the poets out in public and not on campus just harness a complete chaos anywhere they go HAHA. idk if this sucked or not, but it was super fun to write hehe. happy sunday i don’t want to go to work tomorrow, but such is the life of someone who has rent and bills to pay in the coming months, sigh