#idk interested in others views
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am I the only aspec/arospec individual who doesn’t care if aspec/arospec characters are shipped with other character? (I even do it myself sometimes)
#maybe it’s bc I’m gray on both spectrums and don’t feel like I have a concrete label#like I very much don’t view labels as being restrictive or meaning a person can’t have whatever relationship they want#idk interested in others views#aspec#arospec#shipping discourse#erin talks
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something something when the facade of western "democracy" continues to crumble, liberals are faced with the choice of either abandoning the systems that facilitate genocide, theft, exploitation, racism, etc. or resort to old habits that do nothing to seriously challenge or dismantle said systems... inevitably many will fall back on focusing on optics/aesthetics and hyper-individualizing their approach to combat their feelings of helplessness etc. and/or to avoid confronting the systems in place that have led to this moment (which they are most comfortable in, because liberalism never truly changes the systems in place)
the problem is not, never has been, and never will be the *tone* or *conduct* of palestinians (in occupied palestine or the diaspora); the obstacles in the way of peace&liberation are not from palestinians or palestinian resistance but the continuation of colonialism, the maintenance of which is inherently violent and oppressive. the people responsible for the genocide going into its 4th month are not palestinians who liberals want to tone police but the u.s. empire and its glorified military base settler colony, whose existence is founded + depends upon the genocide and ethnic cleansing of palestinians.
#in other words. liberals shut UP.#tone policing the ones whose people are being subjected to genocide is just#straight up racist. and fucking shitty. and stupid. and not going to fix anything.#this has already been said but idk it just breaks my brain#liberals w a genuine interest in justice and change may be having their world views shattered right now#but i PROMISE that resorting to tactics typical of liberalism (focusing on optics rather than actual substance and structural change)#is not going to get u anywhere except for needlessly harrassing the ppl suffering the most right now (palestinians).
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not enough discussion about the gavins' complicated relationship with feminine-coded/beauty products, i don't think.
#for klavier because it's not as direct it's about how we never see him actually wearing lipstick? even though apollo literally attends#a concert of his which is where you'd most expect him to wear makeup. but apparently he just doesnt. or at least not in public#klavier gavin#kristoph gavin#i feel like there are several ways you can read into it. the misogyny/toxic masculinity one is really obvious clearly with kristoph's#singling out of men specifically and klavier's (probably accidental?) condescending manner of calling women 'fraulein' plus his general#mildly patronising attitude towards many of the women in the game (also probably unintentional)#(i think he's trying to be charming and it's coming off wrong to some of them. like ema. and me.)#but i feel like there's also maybe an element of... inherent perfecfionism to it? like both of these products are conventionally beautifyin#products and kristoph while he is open to showing people he uses nail polish specifically chooses one that's clear and missable unless you#see him apply it. he also feels the need to justify his use of it and specifically spell it out as something he chooses to do rather than#needs to do even though duh. that should be obvious.#idk there's just something about his seeming need to take control of that narrative that i find interesting. his need to spin it into a#'there's nothing wrong with my nails but I had the foresight to see that even the smallest parts of my appearance should be kept immaculate#and it's a choice i'm making to refine an already adequate part of my personage /not/ to cover some unsightly defect.' the need to emphasis#that specifically is so. hm. and with klavier i could see it being a case of him liking makeup liking the pops of colour yet being unwillin#to admit to it because he's afraid that other people might see it as him being dissatisfied with his own appearance regardless of if he is#or isn't. or even just perceiving colourful makeup as being unseemly because it's so overt and unnatural.#like i can see this as them both viewing 'real' beauty to be that which is inherent to a person and seemingly effortless#thus somehow negating the beauty which one achieves through cosmetics or other external means.#and if you want to use external means to achieve beauty or neatness or whatever then your only valid options are those which blend into you#natural state. like clear nail polish. or really awful spray tan.#i feel like klavier's less confined by these ideas (if they hold merit at all) considering he actually owns coloured lipstick and he wears#jewellery (admittedly quite 'masculine' jewellery no gems or pearls or anything like that but jewellery nonetheless) but i think it just#makes it more interesting that he doesnt seem quite able to cross the line anyway. like it's that ingrained into his system.#anyway that's all i've got. you guys should tell me what you think too#annotations
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i saw this tweet and found it interesting for two reasons. one is that some people base how good cartoon network would be to toh by how it treated su, and despite the fact that su’s treatment by the network was considered poor at the time, now its thought to be exceptionally good in comparison to modern shows.
two is how exactly su got impacted by a limited budget. a common criticism is how characters like connie, peridot, and lapis are left out of missions. but balancing a lot of characters is not only hard but also costly (extra animation, extra voices—it’s been revealed that the show is limited to a set number of characters per episode otherwise they’re over budget). animation mistakes are not uncommon since retakes cost extra. the entire reason the original show got cut short was due to loss of funding!
#i don’t know if pay rates differ per networks#but a.ivi and s.urrashu have said that they needed to work outside of su in order to make sufficient funds#it only makes me wonder what other ways su suffered from a lower budget#that we as the audience never got to see#in the vein of the too-little characters complaint#another part of that is that low-stakes episodes should’ve been abt the main cast instead of the townies#like last one out of beach city and too short to ride vs restaurant wars and kiki’s pizza delivery service#i definitely see that especially since that isn’t budget related#nor would it seem to be network related (even if cn had an ‘episodic episodes’ quota it could still be abt the gems#(another side note: /would/ cn even have a requirement that the show make episodes that can be watched standalone?#this is a question for the people who were around when su was airing#what episodes often got rerun?#was it the townie eps or the lore eps?#for example i heard that su once did a ‘peridot event’ where they just reran peridot episodes#which had eps that skip around in the show#did they even care about airing the story so that it made sense anyways?#id get it if the low stakes townie episodes were the ones getting rerun))#but i have such a boring view on that which is i think it’s simply because the creators like townie eps#like in interviews r.ebecca s.ugar has said she’s the type to be really invested in background characters#answers in interviews have been crafted in ways to hide what’s really going on though tbf#prime example of this is rebecca and ian saying the wedding being interrupted was meant to follow the common trope#when later in the art book they said that it was bc cn rejected the ep bc it ‘wasn’t interesting enough’#both could simultaneously be true! it’s a psychology thing though where people make up nice-sounding explanations behind what they create#in retrospect because they want it to be thought out in such a nice way they believe in it#the bigger problem is that not matter how many episodes there are of them#it can be hard for ppl to be invested in the townies the same way they are invested in the main cast#i’m sure that a million writers have made surefire advice on how to get an audience to care about characters#but off the top of my head i think it’s because 1. most don’t have strong motivations to get truly invested in#(exception is ronaldo but people find him too annoying to care about him)#okay i had more points and explanations but i hit the tag limit and idk if anyone is actually reading this so bye
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So I was just told something interesting
You know how a lot of these big Victorian houses have seemingly useless railings around windows that are clearly not balconies? Come to find out these sorts of houses were built so that you could close off parts of the house from each other, like if you had guests or were hosting a party or something. But staff still needed to be able to get around so these windows would be large enough that staff could go out one window from one closed off section of the house to the other. It also gave the effect that guests rarely actually saw staff moving around doing day-to-day tasks. And apparently, a lot of these windows had hidden panels that swung out and make it look like the window wasn't there from inside the room When I heard that, I immediately thought about a lot of modern criticism of older novels books that feature wealthier protagonists, who talk about their isolation and loneliness. I've heard people discussing these protagonists say things like "How can you be lonely when you're surrounded by staff? It must be their sense of class that prevents them from seeing the staff as people who they can socialize with". That is absolutely at play, don't get me wrong. But with the windows in mind and the knowledge that one of the marks of a good staff at the time was to be as unseen as possible, I think it's completely possible that these protagonists, and the real people they represented, really DID feel that they were completely alone in their houses. Not only were all these social structures in place to keep them separate from everyone else in the house, but also these physical structures that further limited interaction. Because we no longer build houses like this and a lot of older surviving houses no longer have this feature, it's a bit of context that modern readers aren't aware of
I think it's really interesting, cause it gives a whole new context to these stories and social life in the period, and also makes me wonder about what other context that we're not aware of when looking at history or fiction from previous time periods that would re-frame our understandings of the event of those times
#Sword speaks#I love this shit I love it so much#it's like getting a new puzzle piece and seeing all the other places it could fit#to build out my understanding of the world#or like getting to glimpse the world through a different pair of eyes#and this is why I'm a social scientist because there are millions of different eyes to view life from#and every new perspective is fascinating and deepens my understanding of the world#and we live in such an interesting and beautiful world#idk I just *flails in anthropology*
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n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.
#text#i think even younger ones that possess the same nasty traits can be slammed back 'In their place' (in his mind) by him just bc his -#- abilities and power alone (alt. name the factors that make him 'Cool') that dumbs them down insanely in comparison#maybe by this i mean like; ild*ri. despite the animosity she could still feel very foolish and is conscious of her wuss-ness#if that makes sense#cause no matter the disrespect anyone might have for an older capable person the reality is still reality#tbh i just think he doesn't like to sweat it much and still aims for the younger ones bc it's easier than it would be for someone that's -#- 30+ years old#and once he's proven his point he doesn't find any merit in sticking with older ones cause their interests or anything they offer -#- don't matter to or interest Him personally#i think an older demographic is just more boring to him and he would rather spend his time being metaphorically sucked off for his greats -#- by someone that already finds themselves 'lesser' than him and always will for a long time#than someone that is defiant of that fact#basically the more power imbalance the better#in his mind there will always be one unless he certainly knows someone is his equal (or better than him) but he likes the add-on of an -#- age difference too#keeps it in a safe zone with less problems for him#sorry for spitting again my brain just started machine-gunning thoughts for no reason#also i said before that he's an innocence fan. might not be a total puritan but there's something there#it's kinda like him not wanting to be with a dusty ''OLD'' person that's seen a lot anyway#i'm like barely able to hold myself back from opening my mouth to mention t*lvas where i'm making a point about n*loth's brain where he -#- isn't even needed to prove it#but like#him voicing dislike of n*loth general nauseating character and actions but still sucking up to him while n*loth can probably feel -#- that dislike anyway is cute to me i like to view it as an object being thrown into the wall over and over#where n*loth is proving his own worth to other people by drilling their brains out with proof. not that he needs to#but he would like that to be perfected a 100%#and t*lvas is capable of being molded into that state ....... probably#silusvesuisuis you didnot just confess to wanting to see t*lvas be slammed into a wall you fucked up demented beast you're sick#actually can't believe i forgot to mention this but he's literally so immature idk what he has anything in common with actual mature people
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frank and piper are interesting counterpoint narratives to me. both of them have relatively mundane problems compared to the rest of the cast yet their parent's domains represent the heights of human passion as defined by the series, despite piper and frank both being (outwardly) dispassionate and (inwardly) mopey. the good end of these domains is love and protection (selfless), the bad end is heartbreak and bloodlust (selfish), which both of them try to resist. they both get claimed last out of their trios and had beforehand assumed that they were the children of someone else. both also experience perceived rejection from their mortal family directly before the series begins - both express anger and hurt at being "sent away". their rejection and unexpected claiming, back-to-back, results in discombobulation for them both, and feelings of humiliation brought on by both sets of parents.
they also both go through forced physical transformations by their parents to fit an ideal they don't want. all of the characters experience issues of identity and self-esteem but i think its the most pronounced with these two in the series. neither of them really knows who they are, and are pessimistic about their own capabilities. they are also counterpoints in that they feel disconnected from their own looks - both are very self-conscious people, but, based on how they're described by other characters, piper is probably the most beautiful member of the 7 and frank is probably the least. piper is frequently harassed and objectified, whereas frank is teased constantly about his looks. he neither feels as childish as his face is nor as grown as his body is, and he doesn't understand how to move through the world. both of which are common experiences throughout puberty - suddenly being treated differently on the basis of a body that's changing faster than you want or understand.
(discourse alert) i don't have a lot to add to the piper transformation discourse except that i do think its interesting that her blessing was temporary within the book and her love interest actually self-reflected on his reaction to it and realized that he should not have told her that she looked hot in that instance. rick did reverse frank's transformation five years later and i'm curious about his thought process about both writing it in the first place and in reversing it, and what feedback he received, if any. piper's transformation was a makeover whereas frank's was a puberty, which later rick walked back with "actually frank is still going through puberty". piper's was cheesy, sure, but frank's falls so flat bc that's just not how it works. its too much of a stretch. i don't even think it was in rick's og plan for frank, maybe he just watched captain america and was like "hell yeah i should do that" and flipped a coin between frank and leo, bc again frank was already initially described as physically grown in his debut book. and i can't even talk about hazel's reaction to to it bc its not real to me and i can't read suddenly. idk frank's plotline in general was too rushed in that book and he should have gotten another pov chapter set at least bc rick was trying to do too much too fast and relied on idiocy like the transformation to support it in the place of real character work when it wasn't even necessary for anything he accomplished in the book. he could've just walked around with better posture and achieved the same effect.
#very long very rambling post sorry. i wish piper and frank actually got to interact#there's more to say about gender here but idk how to articulate it#you could argue that all members foil each other in some way this isn't the only foil for these characters between the two trios#i just think its interesting especially how their transformations are treated in the text#idk my feelings about both rick and the fandom's reaction to the discourse is complicated#a lot of fans who correctly assessed the fatphobia embedded in the plotline would be foaming at the mouth with rage#if rick wrote that percy or nico gained weight after tarturus#people have different standards for the characters they view as side characters versus the characters they actually identify with#which happens in every fandom. its not really 'problematic' but it does make their takes about 'representation' a little unserious to me#blogs that used to draw biblically accurate frank also drew 16yo percy with eightpack abs and hced frank as a big brother uwu and asexual#its the 'you look like you give great hugs!' condescension in fandom form#although fanon frank is so divorced from canon frank that its not really relevant ig just annoying
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sometimes, i think about the extra bit of depth alex's romance is given when you date him as a guy and i just gotta. stare at the ceiling for a bit...
#i think his heart events are nice either way but like... there's some extra flavor given to when your farmer's a guy#like him admitting that the farmer is the only other guy that he can be vulnerable around#or how admits that he tried denying his feelings for the farmer at first bc of his own internalized homophobia#and probably some external homophobia too#since george will tell the player that he wasn't sure about alex and them being together bc of his own biases#but seeing how happy alex was with them makes him rethink his views#idk i just really like his heart events i wish ppl appreciated them more#i also think it's interesting to see the game acknowledge homophobia and how it'd actually affect the queer relationships in town#it's definitely nice that the town is pretty damn accepting especially a majority of the romance options' families#but it feels more realistic to have those little bittersweet truths mixed in there too i like it#sorry i've got sdv brain rn so i'm thinking about it a lot#stardew valley#mj.txt#tw homophobia mention#sdv spoilers
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I keep thinking that this Gojo is just like Sukuna. I truly don't see much of a difference between them beyond the human/curse point of view
#If not Sukuna then some other more palatable special degree curses like the one he just killed that talked about the new humanity#It truly looks like that I don't know#Trying to be unbiased about the pretty concepts I take personally#and trying to ignore the silly fact that Sukuna's domain is literally called temple of evil or something (makes one want to ask#so many things like why the hell does he call it such? isn't evil good for you? Isn't a species kind of thing?#Why are you adhering to human notions and conceptualisations if you seem so beyond them and think nothing of them?)#Gojo is quite terrifying from a curse point of view. He is cruel and merciless. He can't be reasoned with and he is playful. He has his fun#His powers are not much different in structure from those of a curse and he said that the power capacity of a sorcerer comes from birth#So it's ontological. It's not just skill. It's an essential differentiation. Just like curses#It's just... I don't know. It's almost as if he were a curse himself. He talks about emotions being the source of curses?#Maybe that's the difference? Was Sukuna born that way too?#I don't know. I keep thinking that he is quite idk monstrous in a very Sukuna way. He isn't terrible like Sukuna is like with the kids#But he is human after all. He does adhere to human categories. Sukuna is something else#And yet Gojo uses the kids. He draws lines and he is caring and gentle and sweet in his way#but he very much uses the kids and is a bit flippant about it. And he is human#I don't know. It seems completely intentional this similarity between Gojo and the curses and Gojo and Sukuna in particular#Sukuna seems interested in Megumi while Gojo seems interested in Itadori and idk I just keep thinking#but I'm not even know about what or how#I find this man very hard to trust haha the parallels are intriguing#I think this piece of worldbuilding has potential as well as their characterisations#I hope the author will do something with all this#I talk too much#Jujutsu Kaisen#Gojo Satoru#Sukuna
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I get where people are coming from when they say Diaspro in Winx lost the plot for the sake of being turned into a minor villain and that's all once Valtor enabled her to do what she did in S3, but I feel like that was a reasonable narrative choice. It's only a love potion at that point (while I could go on all day about the ethics of love potions, of course, a later season has her straight up trying to do direct murder). She's a noble, guards will do her dirty work, and I understand that she would feel like getting revenge on Bloom while getting back together with Sky. She was promised a position — romantic AND political — she nearly had and then it was taken from under her by a random fairy who wasn't even "supposed" to be in the running. I don't think what she did was nice, but it makes sense for the story and for her character for her to want to reclaim her position in the way she did. Sky's love was an accessory, in part, to her political ascension, and thus he is again rendered accessory and accomplice by the love spell. And, sending guards after threats seems to be the thing to do in the magical universe if you're a disgruntled noble, so it's probably not unfamiliar for Diaspro to have seen occur before or want to do. It's not a uniquely rotten response any more than Radius' behaviour towards the monster (who, he didn't know it, was Stella). If we fault her for this action rather than only the intention behind it, we need to examine how the worlds in Winx Club deal with threats to their monarchs in general, which sounds interesting but I frankly don't have time for tonight. Diaspro did wrong, but she didn't do uniquely wrong there, and Eraklyon has the punitive security structures in place to have enabled that.
Diaspro's later appearances seem to flatten her motives and the symbolism behind why her relationship with Sky was important and what she does about it (who cares what Diaspro's political aims are and how her status might reflect how she deals with problems, the audience needs to see Bloom thrown into fire I guess), but I feel like seasons 4-8 weren't really that good anyway, so I can't even claim this as a fault of the writers doing Diaspro specifically wrong instead of them just doing the whole show wrong at that point. It might be related, and it might be a coincidence, but a lot of the writing choices seemed to become more flat to me right around when the art shifted to that lifeless godawful Flash simulacrum of S1-3's art.
Also like... idk but if some long-haired hottie wizard in a sick coat and contemplative eyeshadow told me he could help me get my promised chance at both romantic and political success back, I'd at least hear him out, yknow, see what he had to say (<- don't trust me I simp for Valtor)
#rubia speaks#winx club#winx#diaspro#winx diaspro#not supporting women's wrongs but parsing them in context#actually you know what. love u bloom but i have a diaspro apologism streak in me#love potion BAD AWFUL ROTTEN but the guards? we need to interrogate the king about that one i think#and make ur guards pass a basic test on the obvious visual difference between a fairy and a witch idk :/#is diaspro entitled to sky's love and the political position of being his wife? no. does it narratively make sense for her to be mad? yeah#is her position of having been given the expectation of a certain status and result and having it 'undermined' a compelling one? yeah!#i think there's a lot to say about expectation vs reality and the burden of unfulfilled unsealed commitments in Diaspro's situation#and the societal structures in Eraklyon that allow her to act outside of due process because she's big mad as long as the king is cool w he#how the nobles protect their own class and interests even when Sky is acting unusual from VALTOR'S FUCKING MAGIC DAMN#now if she could just drop the magical coercion and the classism and the witch slander..........#interesting how that arc makes Bloom almost an underdog when... babe.... ur a Princess.#Sky's not out here marrying a commoner he's courting a princess of another world#.... sociopolitical views of Domino by other worlds? Bloom acting vs not acting the part of how a princess acts on Eraklyon?#Bloom as a Lesser Princess because of the condition of Domino?#Association with the Winx and Alfea in general making of her a symbolic commoner?#much to consider about Bloom's 'underdog' role compared to Diaspro in the Eraklyon Engagement Era
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this might sound insensitive but taash is currently my biggest disappointment of the companions because there is literally nothing to their story other than the gender identity
#idk how to describe it but their whole quest (and especially the accompanying coded entries) are so jarring#like they're very modern sounding and therapy speaky? which is just weird in what's supposed to be a medieval setting#also it's such a missed opportunity since qunari already have a completely different view on gender than the rest of thedas#not to explore something with that instead of just using 21st century language and explanations#(and i say all this as someone who's been going through my own gender thing for the last few months akskdkd)#i get what weeks was going for but it felt more like a beginners guide#for people who've never heard of non-binary#than an actual storyline#which is genuinely disappointing when compared to the other companions#who have interesting shit going on#don't know why they couldn't give them a plotline alongside the gender stuff lol#datv lb#datv spoilers#datv critical
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hm. i do not like chilshi 🤔
#sylph.txt#everyone likes to joke abt how much of an epic divorce man chilchuck is#but i dont think he ever even refers to her as his ex-wife. i could b wrong bc it's been a while since i read it tho#idk a lot of his arc is him learning to b more open w others (which is essentially what ended his relationship)#and u can see how much he's grown in the chapter where senshi goes into his past#to me it would b a lot sweeter for him to take on these lessons and go back to her and make things work#it's been 4 years but he's remained loyal to her depite their issues. idk to me it rlly does feel like he still loves her he's just a fool#it's made p clear that he's a coward and that he's quick to run away so actually committing to her would b a nice way to wrap things up#we don't get to see much of his wife so i get y ppl r quick to put him w the only other man in the party#but like senshi knows abt his wife too like i do not think he's gnna b making any moves here bc he has morals lmao#(*only other older man in the party. laios doesn't qualify for old man yaoi to most chilshi likers)#(even tho chilchuck isn't old either but shh they don't care abt that)#when it comes to senshi the changeling chapter def helped him w understanding how old the rest of the party is#but he clearly still views them as significantly younger than him#i don't think he views chil as a child anymore but for the majority of their time together he did#and so going from that to in a relationship is uhh rlly weird to me!#senshi has always taken a sort of parental role upon himself#w him romance is no where as interesting as the platonic bonds he has w the rest of the party#similar to how romance is entirely unimportant to izutsumi in the succubus chapter#idk i def don't hate the pairing and there r some takes on it that i find funny#but for me i just don't see anything between them i think ppl just want an m/m ship to play with#that ao3 gap is only gnna get bigger lmao
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augh . this show
#i have a tendency to get REALLY attached to one character from every show I'm interested in#to the point where my perspective of the show is kinda warped by their views#like if they hate a character i'll hate the character that kind of thing#and this is fun most of the time. a pleasant enough experience#certainly an interesting way to go abt it lol#but this time#I got attached to Peri#so what comes with that is. I like Hazel. I like Cosmo and Wanda a lot. And I also like DEV a lot#(he's also just a great character so far in general)#and I've come to really like where i THOUGHT Peri and Dev's dynamic was going#but some of the staff on twitter are saying some Mysterious things#and implying that Dev's just gonna be Proper Evil for a while. even beyond the series finale#and it's really throwing me off guard#like if he's gonna be evil then I feel like he and Peri are just gonna hate each other? but i like the idea of them getting along#so now it's just. twisting my mind in different directions#i don't think i'll ever HATE Dev even if Peri does. He's a very interesting and compelling character#but still#anyway if they really do end up making Dev a longstanding villain i just??? i don't think that's the best choice for the series#especially considering it's a KIDS CARTOON#saying ''this kid is mean but he has the potential to be good :)#unfortunately he won't be. he's evil now!''#like huh. what kind of message is that for kids#i hope this is just them tricking us lol. intentionally misguiding us#bc otherwise... mmh... idk
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There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.
#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz#ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and#then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc.#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific#cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or#etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as#you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on#accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have#as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence#of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate#versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a#neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest#ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling#and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for#documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like#sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I#can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If#I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my#ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ??#Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be#accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor#focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it#were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan#that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is#some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my#kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means#i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m#in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in#one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability#& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER
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wtf my son is dead
#wtf 😭😭#<says girl who has said multiple times that he would be okay with kenji coming back to die just so that the fandom would talk abt him more#tbf i dont think any of these deaths are permanent#also i havent read a translated version of the ch. i was just looking at the pictures of the raws w/out context#anyway lucy and kyouka are back !!!!#yayyy !!!!#“junichiro also died” i literally do not care#okay i do but not that much#im sorry i know he's an interesting and kinda underrated character but im not gonna help him become properly rated#most i care abt is whether junichiro had a drop item#i dont remember well rn but i think teruko had her uniform and kunikida had his notebook of ideals#did junichiro drop anything??#that we can see??#those two having drop items that are important to them is part of why i think theyll come back (other than this being bsd)#(and we also probably arent actually killing half the cast in one swing)#i didnt see kenji drop smthn either but im not super focused on him for this#i think it might just be we didnt see either of their item drops#but if it was just junichiro who didnt drop anything...#idk#i just rlly like the theory that he's an illusion naomi made#but since idk if kenji dropped anything this isnt any sort of evidence anyway#anyway kenji went out cool and i love him and im happy he's back in view of the fandom !!#“____ will live” ppl are strange to me bcos why do you treat it as you being insane for saying that when they literally will#if kenji is actually permanently dead im gonna look back at this in horror#but he isnt anyway#not in a denial way. that's not denial that's just the truth and ppl who think it's denial have been reading a different bsd than i have#anyway. yay���️#my boy finally woke up !!#!!!#bsd kenji
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What I'm liking about Red Dragon so far (and why I like Manhunter better as an adaption than Red Dragon) is the focus on the process of investing rather than sensationalizing the gruesome murders
#yes there where murders and there were awful and bloody but other than the description#they still make the victims people#and I'm honestly interested in the logistics of the investigation the puzzle pieces be it forensics the psychology#hannibal here#rather than being glorified as another sick murderer#is another tool for the investigation#Will has a gift for understanding other's people's points of view and yet he's still just another agent#idk if im making sense but im really enjoying the book#despite the lack of hannibal (the love of my life current obsession and the reason im reading the book)#red dragon (book)#thomas harris#books#hannibal#m ya callate#livereading
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